#(and because he feels guilty about contributing to her problem at the start. not that he'd admit it)

[duckapus]

Got an idea for a scenario in my Smash Academy thing.

The Mario Bros set up an obstacle course to teach the kids the finer points of platforming, and Elanore's certain she's got it in the bag since she's based on the Jumpman himself. In fact, she'll probably have the second-best time out of all the students (the best time is out of the question because Bullet exists). And in all fairness her pride is deserved, as she ends up going through the course with just as much ease as the Bros did when they demonstrated it...

...and then she misses the last jump and falls in a pit. It wasn't even a particularly hard jump, she just happened to misjudge the distance a little.

So. She just embarrassed herself in front of her idol after bragging about how easy it would be. And Rumble and Lester are ribbing her about it because of course they are. And somebody happens to point out that she isn't actually based on Mario the way everyone else is based on their counterparts, she just happened to kinda-sorta look like him either by coincidence or because her designer took some inspiration from The Company Mascot.

And, well, she's stubborn, so she tries the course again.

And again.

And again.

She ends up completely obsessed, running the course every chance she gets, filling notebooks that should have her schoolwork and invention ideas with diagrams and calculations to analyze her failed attempts and figure out the solution. Because there are a lot of failed attempts.

It gets even worse over time since the building frustration and stress and the eroding self-confidence and... just about everything else, means she starts messing up on the rest of the course too, until eventually she can't even manage the first jump, let alone finally reach the flagpole. By the end of what would probably be a montage of All That she's become a bundle of nerves who's convinced she can't do anything right, especially not achieve her dream of actually being in a game.

Obviously her friends have been worried about her this whole time, Barney especially, so they've come up with a plan to rebuild her confidence and skills.

...Said plan involves Rumble "kidnapping" Barney and luring Elanore into reenacting the original Donkey Kong arcade game.

Because 1) if she wants to be like Mario, why not start where he started, and 2) from what they can tell the root of the problem is that she started overthinking things after that first failed jump, and if she's focused on saving Barney and kicking Rumble's ass she can't be paralyzed by her calculations and insecurities.

This actually works, reigniting her confidence, and after actually taking care of herself and a quick training montage involving levels from other Mario games she's ready to give the obstacle course one last try.

She doesn't manage to do it as fast or flawlessly as she did the first time, but she still does pretty good, and she actually makes the jump and finishes the course this time.

[roxannepolice]

I have a hot thoschei take: I don’t think most of doctor who tumblr is ready to confront the idea that Missy allowing the Doctor to “fix” her was almost more a form of self-harm for her than anything else. Which makes the confrontation between her and the Master even more upsetting to me than if it was a simple ‘Missy good, old Master bad and sabotages her goodness.’

It’s more like looking on your future self and seeing her restrain herself further and further in ways you’d rather die than do, in ways that are slowly erasing what makes you/her yourself/herself. and when you realize that she will happily push you into this fate, too, (and has the audacity to preach about it), how else can you react but cut her loose.

And it also makes Missy and Twelve more interesting to me, because you can’t really argue the Doctor doesn’t know that he’s contributing to this. He locked her in a box. He knows her far too well to really believe she’d want to live so long in confinement, but he does it anyway. I don’t even think it’s that divorced from love or a need for them to come to an understanding; the Doctor just wants it to be completely on his terms and for the first time ever, that control is entirely possible and he doesn’t even have to feel guilty about it because she’s letting him.

Anon, I'm kissing your brain. And wish I could transplant it into Moffat's head.

I suppose my own brain is a bit too of a "they are characters in a text, serving a purpose to the point made by the author, not self-aware people making choices" bitch to really view it this way. But I absolutely agree this whole situation was much more effed up than fandom gives it credit for. I mean, the basic message of the vault arc is "here's the fool-proof way to develop empathy: a human lifetime of solitary confinment! Let's just ditch all those resocialisation programs in prisons and put all violent criminals in solitary boxes with only psychologists visting them! :DDDD".

Yeah, ok, that last point was a bit over the top in social engineering area even as far as fan bashing is concerned. And, tbh, I think a positive side of the vault arc is the not-sure-if-intended idea that it in fact wasn't decades of solitary confinment with Twelve coming to banter through a locked door only actual interaction with Bill that had Missy introspect, but wtv, it all just needed to go tragic in the end. I think the really unawarely messed up part here is this underlying insistence on. well, basically writing the Master as Darth Vader. There's still good in you, I can feel it!, as in just go back to being a child that I will be idealising in the penultimate episode, which frankly sounds to me the extact same as GO2 Aziraphale asking Crowley to just go back to being angels only even nicer :) (sth sth angelhood as a metaphor of pre-selfaware childhood when you can't even tell yourself apart from other people and especially God-the-Parent). Basically, the big idea being the Master's villainy isn't a result of conscious choices of a hundreds year old eldritch horror only not hearing the music whatever that means.

Of course, it was backwards engineered, in a "ah, but what if there really, really, reeeaaaallly wasn't any other way for the Master to survive than as the Doctor's prisoner?" way, which could work considering how survival focussed the character is (like, surely that wouldn't be worse than becoming a cat? or a 90s effects goo snake? or a man eating emo electroskeleton? or a tooth?)... but then we have a "yeah, but there's like an evil past that does value their independence (and evilhood) over survival, ain't that tragic?" ending.

Basically, I think the problem is not so much Missy accepting being the Doctor's prisoner, as not trying to escape even freaking once? Like, if we started off with her being dishonest about the whole teach me to be good :((( and then easing into living like this, this might have been an interesting idea? But yeah, as we are, you're right, it just. Comes off as trying to amputate a limb that got caught in a mousetrap rather than snares...

[sapphire-weapon]

So. I gotta say some shit.

I think we all have a tendency to be more gracious to Ada's character than she rightfully deserves. I'm guilty of this, too. We all want to give her the benefit of the doubt and insist that her character serves a purpose and is worth talking about because she's A. such a huge part of Leon's character and B. the only non-white member of the cast, but like.

There's nothing there.

I noticed this when I rewatched Separate Ways recently (because fuck ever playing that shit again holy fuck Separate Ways sucks to play).

After RE2, Ada isn't a character anymore. She has absolutely no arc; her character never develops or goes anywhere. She's not tied to anyone or anything in the plot in a way that matters -- even her relationship with Wesker doesn't fucking matter, because there's no fallout or consequence as a result of anything she does to/with/for him, whether it's beneficial to him or against him. She has only one facet to her personality: snarky and mysterious. We never see her emote or speak in a context removed from either of those two qualifiers. Ever.

She has some softer moments here and there, but they last for like a single line of dialogue or two and then the scene just completely moves on without them -- so, those softer moments never actually matter anyway.

She doesn't enhance or enrich Leon's character in any way; the only thing her character serves to do is isolate him from the main cast, which gives his character nowhere else to go other than horrible, spiraling depression because every action he takes in his life turns out to be completely meaningless -- because it's not allowed to mean anything, because he's become so far divorced from the central plot of the series.

The only functional purpose that Ada Wong actually has is as a plot contrivance to explain how a bad guy did a thing. Other than that, she exists solely as a pair of legs and tits for Leon to chase after.

We all hold out hope that Remake is going to change this and turn her into a real person with autonomous motivations and goals, and there might be some merit to that, but like

She's not there yet. She's just not. There is no there there, when we talk about Ada's character.

And this tiptoeing around that we all do to try to make it seem like we're supportive of her character just

strikes me as silly a lot of the time, man.

I understand wanting to give credit where it's due, but it's not due for Ada's character. And I understand the desire to not be seen as misogynistically bashing her, but I feel like supporting her character as it currently exists is what's actually misogynistic. Because her portrayal in canon is misogynistic.

And I also understand the desire to not be seen as being a ship war fuckhead, but like. It's not about the ships, man. It's about Ada. Specifically Ada. She just sucks, dude.

And this is coming from the person who has probably written more meta about Ada Wong in an attempt to justify her character than basically anyone else in the fucking fandom.

idk I've just been thinking about this lately while perusing EagleOne fics. It feels like everyone in this ship feels obligated to address The Ada Problem before they can start to justify a relationship between Leon and Ashley, and it's like

No, you don't. Especially in Remake canon, you absolutely do not have to bring up Ada at all. Because Remake seems very self-aware of the fact that the problem with Leon's character has always been Ada, which is why they seem to be actively writing her out of his overall arc.

Like. Let's just call it for what it is. Ada is the worst part of Leon's character. The relationship is poorly written and poorly executed and doesn't make any fucking sense for who both characters are actually meant to be. They actively hold each other back -- not as people, but as characters who are meant to meaningfully contribute to the storyline.

And idk I'm just tired. I'm just tired of always having to do the hand-wringy "oh no no, Ada's really cool and great and I'm not trying to diss on her, and her relationship with Leon actually matters" shit, man.

Because she's not cool or great and her relationship with Leon doesn't actually matter -- and if it does matter at all, it's due to the negative impact that her presence brings -- not just to him, but to the entire fucking plot of the series.

She's the worst recurring element in the entire series, and there's not even a close second.

[rickgrimesdoingrickthings]

🕯️(from Daryl)

What Rick thinks about Daryl.

Surprisingly enough, i think it didn't change much along the seasons. Rick knows Daryl is a good person. Full of problems and isolated, he is aware, but still a good person, and most of the times, he managed to have Daryl contribute to the team and stay on their side. Because Daryl is a lot driven by emotions, Rick did a great job at manipulating him in so many situations. Overall, I would say Rick was an asshole to Daryl so many times, mostly indirectly, by locking his brother on the roof and have Daryl go with him but use the trip to mostly recover the bag with the weapons instead of searching for Merle, let Daryl go search for Sophia on his own so many times despite being so dangerous ( he didn't offer to help all the times but also didn't stand against it). And when he decided to kick Carol from the group, it was pure injustice against Daryl, as well in Woodbury, when Rick tried to have Daryl abandon his brother (again) to escape with them instead. Later on, behind Daryl's back, Rick tried to use Merle to take Michonne to the Governor for a peace deal, but ultimately regrets it. That choice though leads to Merle's death.

Rick knows Daryl has a strong sense of justice, therefore, uses many moral arguments to convince the hunter to help him out. He also knows Daryl is alone and does what he can so he feels part of the group, giving him space when he needs but always being around to include him in tasks and such. Daryl probably is aware of all that, but he doesn't care, because he agrees with Rick's approach on decisions most of the time. It was inevitable though, how Rick became emotionally bound to Daryl, because well, he knows Daryl is aware how Rick himself can be selfish, manipulative and coldly use people; Daryl even so was always there for him, despite Rick's flaws. The huge trust and leadership support Rick gets from Daryl in the worst moments, probably the sheriff would never be able to explain it with words.

Rick and Daryl's bond gets deeper and they become each other's moderator of morals. Sometimes Rick is breaking the boundaries and starting to act too cruel, like on season 4-5, Daryl will try to hold him back. Daryl starts acting too cruel, Rick holds him back, and so on.

And it's in that dynamic that Beth ends up dead, and Daryl in a way blames himself for it- Rick had decided for a direct assault, where they would kill the main officers and rescue Carol and Beth, while Daryl and others from the group voted against it and chose to negotiate, which lead to Beth losing her life. Rick knows he feels guilty, but says nothing, he also feels guilty as the leader.

After that event, Daryl begun having a colder approach to decisions. Next time it happens the other way around. Daryll wants to explode the Sanctuary and Rick doesn't want to, they end up fighting and despite overcoming Rick, the sheriff manages to get rid of the explosives. It's interesting how Rick uses his manipulative sequence to try and convince Daryl. First he appeals to the moral sentimental idea, that workers who are innocent could get hurt. Daryl ignores that part. So Rick appeals to the battle strategy, that the workers could be potential allies. Daryl ignores it. So Rick resorts to fear, saying the workers could turn against them if Daryl did that. But Daryl ignores, so Rick tries with force, and despite being beaten down by Daryl quite quickly, he manages to ruin the explosives.

Then Daryl got taken by Negan, humiliated and tortured, and Rick, as failed leader, felt extreme guilt. Without Daryl (and Carol, Glenn and Abraham) he felt weak, lost, insecure and completely vulnerable. Negan took from Rick precisely the people who would rebel the most and give Rick enough impulse to fight back, and it worked for quite some time. Next time Rick managed to fight Negan and have a chance was exactly when he got Daryl and Carol back to fight with him. And it wasn't just a firepower situation, it was mainly an emotional situation. When Carl died and Rick lost his ground, Daryl was the one who lead the others to safety, including his daughter Judith. Daryl did everything and more for Rick.

The next time their conflict happened was with Negan's defeat. Rick chose to let Negan live, and again put many manipulative layers so people agreed with him. First the moral one, to not take a life (very hypocrite of Rick but that's just an excuse anyway), then for the fact he wanted to give the community an example and make sure Negan got behind bars (another excuse in a way because keeping Negan alive was always a risk so the Saviors could try and break in to rescue him), then the excuse he's trying to bring law and order back to a community where people can live together in peace (that's a good excuse, but Rick again, didn't need to keep Negan alive for it)- and the potential true reasons he spared Negan, because Carl asked him and maybe because he wanted to see Negan suffer in prison for a long time, and indeed kill the old, strong Negan as he rots behind bars and gets depression. Daryl doesn't swallow that though, as well as Maggie. That leads to Daryl betraying Rick, by taking him away from the destination he was supposed to, so Maggie got the chance to kill Negan, however, that leads to Rick's "death" on the bridge incident, what makes Daryl feel guilty and spend more than 7 years looking for his friend, while he also made sure his daughter was safe.

I believe Daryl's betrayal was really a huge surprise for Rick, who knows he also has been lying to himself and making excuses because he still just couldn't deal with Carl's death. But even knowing he was right, Daryl knows it was a bad decision and ironically, Negan ends up saving him and Judith in later seasons- all making Daryl rethink so much and isolate himself again.

I think Rick is aware of how much he pushed Daryl along their journey, and Daryl is aware of how much he let Rick push and use him, but both somehow are okay with that, Daryl is a much better person than Rick showed to be, on the moral and loyal spectrum, and maybe that's why at the bridge, Rick isn't revolted at Daryl- quite the opposite- he just looks proud and thankful towards his brother right before he vanishes in the explosion.

There were many issues that needed solving in the communities, such as living with the Saviors and the conflicts and grudges that still were present. Rick wasn't fully focused on that anymore though, he needed a break. He needed a break but also couldn't give the leadership up. Rick's awful when talking about his personal and emotional issues, and I guess Daryl couldn't see Rick needed a break, that he still hadn't headed from Carl's death. While Rick was trying to heal and build hopes for the future, Maggie and Daryl still were stuck in the hate of the past, and to not blame them, they would deal with the consequences every day, Daryl with the community problems and Maggie with raising her son alone, missing Glenn every day.

Maybe if Rick had a bit more of an emotional intelligence to open up and expose his wounds a bit more and show his emotional limitations, Daryl and Maggie would have understood him earlier, but Rick always kept showing he was alright and justifying his actions with morals or goals, while he was mostly focused on the development of the communities rather than the conflicts. He wanted peace and he wanted a future and indeed, if Rick hadn't vanished, the communities probably wouldn't have had so much problem with the wild winter, Eugene's projects would have received more attention and the Whispirers wouldn't have been such a big problem, since Rick could have negotiated with Alpha, formulated war strategies to deal with them (the Whispirers were very low on firepower) and even guided Alpha's horde away, since the sheriff already had experience with that beforehand.

This was a long one, tell me if you liked it. Feel free to comment / reblog 💗

@wexarethewalkingxdead

[elphabashepard]

Today was a good day.

It didn’t start off that way. Or really continue that way, if I’m honest. Several things continued to or went wrong through the morning. Skye got my keys stuck & couldn’t get in to let Serena out. Jim was being a pain in the butt. Callie suddenly needed information she’d asked Keith for two weeks ago (surprise, surprise 🙄).

But I have awesome neighbours, Jo gave Skye my keys, Helen was home to answer Skye’s knock & it all worked out. Skye is so nice & apologetic & would have driven to Stevenage to get my keys if she needed, whereas Kate always makes me out to be the bad guy. It’s so refreshing.

I had a chat with Sarah, only a brief one but enough to remind me why it’s so good to talk to her. Monika’s lovely & I like her a lot, but Sarah & I are so similar, we know what the other’s going to say three quarters of the time before we even say it. I need that sometimes. She knows me so well, she’d clocked something wasn’t right with me before I was even fully aware of it, & being seen that way always helps. Like I’m not some alien that doesn’t make sense to humanity at large.

Then very slowly, all the problems got sorted out. Sarah sorted Callie. I sorted Jim. Skye sent me stuff about Serena, who was doing amazing & Skye really adores her, which always fills me with warmth & relief.

Monika & I got out for a walk & the weather was so much better than I was expecting. Then together (together! What a novel experience that still is, to have someone else to share all this extra work stuff with!) we put a list together that Keith needs. I bounced a few things off her that had come directly to me.

Then I was able to help out at the IDBS meeting & had another moment of someone just knowing me - Robyn really is lovely, I wish I had more to do with her - which made me glow.

I came home to a very excited Serena that I had been worrying about all afternoon because she was so active, but she wasn’t frustrated or mischievous, she was just happy & excited. We met Mischa & his owner on the way out, always lovely to chat (even if I still can’t get used to the compliments & feel guilty about accepting them in case there’s a behind-the-scenes reason he’s paying them because - no. He’s lovely but no). Serena absolutely adores that big gentle giant, it’s so sweet.

Then we met quite a few others dogs on the way round that Serena got to say hi to or play with & that makes her so happy, which in turn makes me really happy & everyone is usually so lovely & friendly to her & me. Serena had a race with a greyhound & finally got outstripped by a mile!

The sun wasn’t completely out but it was so warm - still is! Even with the sun setting. It’s the first time I’ve gotten this year to sit out in my garden while Serena’s playing her sniffer game for her food. I’ve learned so much from other dog people, so much more than I did at first from looking online, it’s made things so much easier.

I managed to complete all the goals in the PQ app for the first time today, have contributed to the group chat & been honest. I can’t remember right now when the last time I felt this at peace was.

I’m still waiting to hear about my blood tests until next week, but at least I know there’s a potential answer coming now, it’s not just that I’m rubbish at getting sleep of any substantial quality.

I’m not saying that suddenly everything is fixed. It isn’t. Serena’s vet bills have made things very awkward, bank wise. I’m meant to be travelling to Newark tomorrow & that’s more petrol to pay for but I can’t cancel because I really want to see the people up there & I owe them that effort.

But generally speaking? Today was good. I’m happy.

[spacecadetspe]

Sept. 8, 2024

Pasithea has been settling into her role. I had nightmares for a couple days in a row, the first of which was being attacked by bears in someone's temple (I was told it might be Artemis'). I kept processing those atrocities for another night, and when Fortitude came in and sat down on my bedside, I finally felt myself settle into a manageable sleep.

I try not to ask too much of him. Really, I do. And it's little moments like that, when he holds my hand, that I feel grounded and supported.

But the next night, one of the oneiroi came into my room disguised as one of my former lovers. I don't remember us having sex, but there was a lot of cuddling and making out involved. It ended with me second-guessing my polyamorous status; saying if I had stability like this, I'd give up poly for him.

Was that true? Was the stability I was looking for in X what had drawn me into a trap of being controlled and isolated?

But the oneiros just chuckled and petted my hair, and told me I shouldn't change things about myself for someone else.

Pasithea came by when I awoke, and I spoke to her about it. when she mentioned how much I needed that stabilizing effect after processing those nightmares, I started getting... upset. Not at her, of course. She even gave me a comprehensive list of all her children, so I could know them by name.

But the thing is, when I pulled up the images from my dream, her description of the individual was a far cry from what I saw. "White hair and red eyes." An albino.

There's only one oneiros I know with white hair; Phantasos.

Pasithea distracted me a little longer by asking if I had a flower sacred to me. I hadn't, but one did come to mind: Selenicerius grandiflora, the night-blooming cereus. I told her it was a gangly, awkward plant, and if one could cultivate it through its awkward stages, they would be rewarded with massive, beautiful, fragrant flowers. When asked why, I told her that I felt most myself at night, and that the oneiroi see me for who I really am.

That's why, when I had seeds to scatter, I sat alone at the top of the cliffs for awhile to watch the ocean.

I had needed a kind of stability that no one was really willing to commit to. That was the upsetting bit. Phantasos hides so much of himself from me, and that realization hurt more deeply than it really should. He and I are friends... or something like it. It would make sense that he doesn't want to identify with being intimate like that, wouldn't it? Was it just part of his job? Doing what he needed to do to stabilize my psyche after witnessing all those horrors?

Or maybe I shouldn't be upset with him. If that's what he felt he needed to do, then maybe I should be grateful he stepped in for me. Maybe instead, I should look at my real-world relationship with Fortitude, and how he treats me.

He works constantly, mostly at night, because he feels like if he doesn't contribute, he isn't honoring our relationship.

He pays back any monies lent with interest, even when I've long forgotten about those payments.

We sleep in the same bed, but we aren't intimate anymore; haven't been for a year. He says it's because of trauma and feeling impotent when it comes to helping me deal with my problems. That has made me feel guilty in the past, but now It's just a dull ache.

when I embrace him, he usually asks "What's wrong?" Because to him, whenever I need him there's something wrong that he needs to fix. That's made me feel guilty too, even though my emotional state has mostly evened out, and I've stopped asking for help.

This isn't fair, is it? I can't ask for the kind of stability I need, and nobody is willing to commit to it. Which is why I was upset with Phantasos, Phobetor, Morpheus, Fortitude... Everyone. I can't just not ask for help when I need it, or avoid talking about my feelings so as not to appear problematic. That's something X would prefer.

So how do I go about this?

[kendrixtermina]

I'm personally neurotypical so I can't speak on that part of it, but I've always thought that SUF was really missing Ian-Quartey Jones' contribution - after he left you could really tell what was him & what was sugar, and the show was better when it was both of them together.

It's always been so ironic to me that ppl accused the show of being unserious re: politics when a lot of the story was his experience of his immigrant family, ppl having been involved in political/revolutionary stuff in Ghana etc. - hed know more about that than some random angry internet person.

Like SUF still did some pretty brave things like letting the protag get pretty unlikeable, letting the VA vent his own problems there & showing mentall illness in ugly cringy non-idealized ways, I also liked the whole bispearl thing was done-

(and I'm pretty sure that Steven lashing out at Greg was supposed to be him being unpleasant, kind of like early series Pearl, after all he's shown to be feeling guilty about it awterwards. Like that I do think is a legitimate & powerful arc, the whole compassio fatigue thing? When you had this person who was empathetic & enthusiastic at the start but then he becomes totally worn out. )

The honest emotional beats, the positive PSA aspect, the slice of life, the reationships, the emphasis on validation... that was Sugar. But Quartey-Jones was the sci-fi, the politics, the mystery, the complex villains. A lot of the things that I personally liked, they were just totally gone with him.

They never revealed any of the mysteries like the gem's origins or what was in the chest. It would be one thing if it was a deliberate non reveal or just left open, but it's more like they just lost interest & completely forgot about it.

Almost all the returning bad guys (or morally ambiguous/complex characters) were just noticeably flatter. Eyeball, the Diamonds (interesting complex villains to "your annoying backwards relatives") and yes, Pink Diamond - the OG show kind of always made sure never too make her too simple or let her go too much towards good or bad but then in SUF it's like they simply decided, ok she was bad afterall mystery solved. (I wouldn't at all be opposed to just steven and/or Pearl individually deciding they couldn't forgive her, if anything it would have been stronger if someone doesn't need to be all bad for you to have feelings about it. Nor do I have any problem with some baddies just being bad, like Aquamarine was always just a mean gremlin chihuahua. )

I used to like PD as a complex character but after the episode "volleyball" I was just too grossed out, they were very much unsubtly playing it like a "mee too" type thing, so I just ragequit some very sucessful PD themed FFs I had going on because I'm not a sore loser, like I accept that I guessed wrong and I guess the intention was that she was just a baddy, maybe for RS she kinda represents the person her parents wanted her to be etc. I certainly don't like the character that they ended up deciding that she was, but even so I think it would have been more interesting to keep all the complex baddies complex. I can certainly understand why someone who related to the complex version of her would be miffed.

There's a tragedy there that everyone else started out fucked up & awful and then gradually got to learn & grow, but PD dissappeared/ died as the "season 1" version of herself & didnt get to do that. Which might just intrinsically be what it's like when your life goes to shit & you die with your potential unrealized. That's what death does.

I don't think Steven (as one of her main "victims") was to be obligated to be the one who emphasizes with her, but it would have been a deeper story if there was some counterpoint to that. One token person who forgives her or something (maybe Amethyst?)

Like i wouldnt call SUF all bad i think it did plenty of things right, but i kinda wish we could have seen what it might have been like if quartey-jones had stayed on and kept contributing what was evidently his contribution - mystery, high concept things, complex villains & nuance...

maybe he wasnt interested in doing more cause the story aspect of it was finished in his eyes & didnt need a sequel, idk, like some of what Sugar still saw there was valuable, but the visible "shift" is a flaw. If characters like Eyeball, the Diamonds & Rose were always flat & there was never any mystery worldbuilding no one would've missed it but it was there previously so it was jarring when it was gone, & it feels a bit like some of what was there before was undone.

maybe its natural for a medium like television where you cant rly plan ahead & have to deal with executive meddling & whatnot... i just personally prefer cohesive products

After reading @rosaq’s post about Rose being a metaphor for a disabled adult instead of a child, I felt compelled to write my own essay about why she gets way more shit and way less credit than she deserves. While I’m not as big of a fan of SU as I used to be, it still has a place in my heart and was important to me. I relate to a few “problematic” characters in it such as Lapis and Pink Diamond and I think Rose deserved better than how Future or the fandom treated her.

The idea that Pink wanted a colony to prove her worth as an equal to the other diamonds and not just be seen as a joke hits hard for me. I’ve been there especially now where I feel like I have to move out and prove I can be a successful adult to my parents. The way the other diamonds treated Rose is very relatable to a lot of autistic people. They liked her when she acted goofy and made them laugh but when she struggled with social awareness, they yelled at, degraded and abused her by locking her away.

A lot of people, especially parents, only like autistic children when they’re the quirky kind that gushes about dinosaurs or astronauts, but flip the moment they inconvenience them. I’ve felt like my parent’s acceptance has often been conditional. They praised me when I was being goofy but dad would flip and make me feel like I was bad for having struggles with awareness or was hesitant to try new foods not to mention making me do Keto for almost a year because they felt it would “help” me. I’ve often felt babied whenever they lectured me over small things yet was also never given actual accommodation.

Some may disagree but I don’t blame her for leaving Spinel behind. It was wrong but because of her upbringing that taught her Diamonds were superior, she didn’t understand Spinel was an individual and not a toy. Rebecca was inspired by a toy rabbit she left behind when writing Spinel. To Rose, Spinel represents everything she hated about herself and how the other diamonds viewed her. To her, she was giving up a toy to prove she could be mature. I’ve been there before such as when I gave away toys or ditched certain hobbies such as paleontology, especially at a conservative school full of creationists I was forced to be friends with because my parents liked them, so people would take me more seriously. Let’s not forget that Spinel isn’t innocent and decided to wipe out all life on Earth and hurt Steven out of petty revenge yet never got as much hate as Rose did.

After reading some of @thewoollyviking’s posts, I’ve come to agree that Future felt very mean spirited towards Rose and that it seemed to just confirm the idea that she was a bad person incapable of change. I don’t hate Steven and relate to him at points too but he acted downright cruel by shoving her picture away and telling Greg who he learned had a similar upbringing that it wasn’t that bad despite being in Rose’s position and nearly dying because of how bad it was. That episode was poorly executed to be honest since most people don’t understand how curfew, chaperones and meatloaf can be abusive or stifling as I’ve seen some call Greg spoiled or “incredibly immature” for being angry about his childhood.

The way Steven acted in Future kind of reminds me of the Ultimate Kevin arc from Ben 10. A character who’s normally forgiving and willing to give second chances suddenly becomes very cruel and mean spirited. I’ve defended Ben from people who called him a narc or psychopath for deciding to execute Kevin but the writing in that arc was very mid. I don’t know if it’s due to the time constraints CN put on the show or was intentional but Steven never reconciled with or at least let go of his anger towards Rose and refused to emphasize with her despite being so similar. Rose never got a chance to redeem herself in life and thanks to Future will never be able to do so in death either. Everyone hates her and acts like they’re better off without her which is gross since it just confirms her self hatred that she was incapable of doing better.

Rose is a character that I relate to hard especially as someone with autism and is transfem. The way the diamonds treated her rings true to my own experiences with how people will act friendly to your face but then treat you as a joke and never give genuine respect or accommodation to. I’ve written more about how my dad treats me regarding my queerness here but I don’t blame Rose for acting the way she did. She needed help and was just treated as bad for her outbursts and was only appreciated when “cute”. I’ve thrown out things to prove I can be mature and don’t really hold her abandoning Spinel against her. The other characters are never given as much hate as Rose and I actually like Blue, mainly for her VA, but the other diamonds and Spinel did way worse yet got off far easier than Pink. People can dislike Rose if they want but it does say something about how the fandom views a victim of abuse who did a lot of wrong but did her best to change and struggled with loving herself.

[shallowcrypts]

Avoidants are unfairly demonized.

And you know what? I’m sick of seeing anxious-attached folks being treated as if they’re fully the victim and totally blameless.

They just cannot ever admit that they might make mistakes, especially serious ones. Can't apologize. Self righteous as hell, and so, so blaming. It's such bullshit. It’s so often that the avoidant partner is forced to take “accountability” for whatever the issue and the AP gets to be relieved that its “not them” and they don’t have to look at their own outrageous behavior that may have contributed to the original issue.

AP’s get all the sympathy because they are usually the loudest, therefore we all have to center around their feelings. It's not that the avoidants DON’T want help, it's avoidants are more likely to avoid and if someone doesn't like conflict and the AP is constantly having a temper tantrum... so who is going to get heard? Have the most attention to their problems?

I was recently talking to a friend about couples therapy with her avoidant partner & even in listening I could tell that she didn't realize how much she dominated the therapy sessions, while simultaneously complaining he wasn't there enough. When he finally broke down and cried about something she had said, her response? You've never cried about that before but it bothers you NOW?

And that’s the thing, it's never good enough for APs. It is hard to be a person when an AP is suffocating the room, and it's easier for them to blame avoidants because we are the only people who will continually put up with their shit, because we ignore it and somehow they are the victims in that too. The goal post is forever changing with them, and nothing is ever good enough. They complain and put pressure on to be, think, feel a certain way and when you manage to come close, you're still somehow in the wrong. I would rather shove everything down and suffer silently than possibly trigger an AP into an episode because THAT is pure psychological torture.

And don’t even get me started about how they then proceed to be the "humble brags" of self-work:

"I just have too big of a heart and I over-give because I'm too generous.”

If all the APs I've known ACTUALLY took accountability it'd sound like:

"I make comments with the intention of making you feel ashamed and guilty so that in your diminished self-worth you might be insecure enough to come to me. Maybe if you're upset we can have a conversation or emote at each other, which is a form of connection, so I force that since I can't force you do do whatever I want at any given moment. I push and push and push and push you so that when you break A) again, I can feel the connection that comes with conflict, at least, and B) I can feel victimized by how 'mean' you are by finally breaking at my prodding. I do not ever stop to consider how this might be tanking your life and our relationship... because I always find a way to blame you for that. I have the audacity to purport to know what your problems are and your inner work should be, and though I'm begging you to open up to me, I don't listen when you do. I just cry because whatever you say scares me, and my fear is still ultimately more important than any of your experiences." APs don't "care" anymore than Avoidants as a default, though they may try too hard, sure.

The issue is that the “I care too much" gets recognized as "and that causes problems for ME” and they're like "oh look I'm taking accountability!" But they never get to the part about how them "caring too much" caused problems for OTHERS and they never want to earnestly apologize. Their behavior can be seriously, seriously, damaging to be on the other end of.

"I'm impatient, have unrealistic expectations, and I over-perform for love. I'm going to work on this with my therapist because I'm realizing now how this is backfiring and causing me pain."

^That would be accountability.

[therealvinelle]

Ok I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm just now copying your Norwegian Bella AU into a text translator, and if you don't already have 50 people in your inbox demanding a translation then shame on ALL OF US because this is glorious! And while Google Translate does have a certain charm (it translated "piper hun ut" as "she beeps") I'm curious to see how you'd put it in English.

Troquantary is referring to this post. In which Bella doesn't speak English.

Fun fact, you're the only one who's gone into my inbox to request this. I was so sad, had the translation half-written and everything, but I was too proud to beg. So thank you, Troquantary, for popping this ask.

As for the dictionary fuckups, sounds about right. I made a few typos, too, that made Google Translate suffer even more. (Such as managing to mix up "henne" (her) and "hendene" (hands), resulting in Aro patting Bella instead of clapping his hands. Poor Google.)

Also, there are a few cultural references and language things that would be lost in the translation, in an attempt to keep them I included notes clarifying things.

Some things, like Aro and Carlisle's very old man way of speaking, are easier said than done to translate, you'll have to bear with me there.

Additional notes are that I added a few things to this version, many of them because translating is hard, but a few because while translating I thought "oh you know what would be much funnier-" and then wrote that.

Alright, without further ado:

When Renée left Charlie she did not go to Florida, she went to Oslo. And she went all in to make her daughter a true Norwegian, hiring Norwegian nannies and making sure never to speak English around the child. Since transatlantic flights are expensive, little Bella Swan rarely got to visit her father, and as such she never did learn what should have been her native language.

She quickly forgot what English she did have in favor of Norwegian, with the exception of words like “Yes”, “No”, and “I’m Bella”.

The few trips she took to visit her father were all the more awkward than in canon since she couldn’t play with the Black kids. Let not the blame fall upon Charlie: he took Norwegian classes and speaks conversational Norwegian. He can’t speak to Renée, because her Norwenglish is incomprehensible even to Norwegians, but he can communicate with Bella.

Not that he’s had a lot of chances to do so.

Bella makes it to seventeen years old, she’s in second grade at Handels* and is a major outsider among the preps there, and then Renée marries a handsome skier**. Together they shall travel the continent all winter to participate in as many skiing races as they can, and in the summer they’ll take gigs at Hurtigruta to see the coast.

*“Handels” is the nickname for an Oslo high school infamous for its pupils being rich and beautiful blonds who are going to be CEOs when they grow up.

**Skiing as a sport is huge in Norway

***Hurtigruta is a famous ferry that travels across the Norwegian West coast

Bella, who sucks at skiing and is too young to work at Hurtigruten, takes the hint.

With dread in her stomach and dictionary in hand she goes to her father in America.

Where she doesn’t speak the language.

Faen.

Charlie gives her a car, and I wish this meta was set in the present because I could have joked about electric cars and the automat only driver’s license*, but Twilight is set in 2005 so I can’t. The car part proceeds without drama.

*An increasing number of Norwegian youth take the driver’s license for automatic cars only, and we’re the country in the world with the highest percentage of electric car purchases.

School is worse than in canon, because she is now a thousand times more sensational than if she was merely the new student. She is from another country! All of Forks keels over with excitement.

To make matters even worse, our girl doesn’t understand a word of what people are saying.

She is too awkward to let them know she doesn’t know English. It’d become a thing, and they might think she’s dumb. To be fair, it’s not good that she’s been through primary, secondary, and now a year and a half of high school and still sucks at English.

So she nods, smiles, mumbles “Hi, I’m Bella” to the new faces, and blushes heavily when anybody says anything.

People assume she’s shy. That’s a bit boring, but oh well.

She has her biology class with the redhead hottie she noticed during lunch. She watched him and his family, they were fascinatingly pretty, but she doesn’t know anything more about them. Sure would have been great if she could have asked the tiny girl (was it Jess?) about them.

Biology proceeds as in canon - Edward badly wants to eat the delicious girl, but fortunately doesn’t.

She runs into him in the office when he tries to switch to another biology lesson, but she has no idea what he’s saying so she only has the suspicion that this somehow concerns her. Which is still uncomfortable, but Bella is probably the problem here. The hottie surely can’t be.

He’s missing from school for a week, Bella finds that weird.

He returns, and to her great horror he starts talking to her.

“Hello”, he says.

Bella dies inside. He’s too handsome!

"I'm Edward Cullen," he continues, and ok, she got that. The hottie is called Edward, that’s good to know. She’s not sure she caught that last name, though, Köln?

He says something else, it’s gibberish to Bella even though she’s concentrating, and at the end there he says “Bella Swan”.

She gulps.

"I'm Bella Swan," she confirms and nods. That should be correct. God, she hopes it’s correct.

He smiles a crooked, boyish smile. She’s awed. She didn’t think it was possible to be so beautiful.

He says something else.

Bella didn’t catch it.

She blushes even harder, she hasn’t been more embarrassed in her life. Here he is, the most handsome guy in all the world, and she has nothing to say to him. Literally, they don’t speak the same language.

She should tell him.

It’s one thing to chicken out of telling the town she doesn’t speak English, but there’s something different about Edward Cullen. He deserves the truth.

But...

He’s the most beautiful person she has seen in her life. He is American, too, so the odds of him knowing Norwegian are microscopical. If he finds out she doesn’t understand a word he says he’ll stop talking to her, and selfish as she is she doesn’t want that.

So with a slightly guilty conscience (but not enough to fess up) she contributes to the conversation with enough words and smiles to pull through. "Yes", "No", "Thank you", and "That's nice".

He is surprised by several of these answers, but instead of giving her odd looks and losing interest he grows more invested in the conversation.

Class ends.

The next day the near accident happens, and he saves her. She is stunned - dear god, did he just pick up a whole car? After teleporting across the parking lot..?

Soon she’s in the ER, and more than a little bit stressed about that fact since she knows the Americans have a terrible healthcare system.

She hopes Charlie has an insurance.

An insanely beautiful man walks into the ER, and Bella is shocked. He is just as handsome as Edward and Edward’s lunch friends!

He introduces himself as Carlisle Cullen, and Bella can only assume this is someone’s older brother. Possibly related to the blonde girl.

He smiles at her, says something, and she answers, "I'm Bella Swan."

He frowns.

That must have been the wrong answer, then.

His hands return to investigating her scalp, and to her great surprise he switches to perfect Norwegian, "kjenner De* noe ubehag når jeg holder her?" Do you feel any discomfort when I touch here?

*De is the Norwegian polite pronoun for “you”. Du = thou = the French tu, and De = you = the French vous. These polite pronouns went out of use in the 1980’s, save for when addressing royal persons, and would be considered antiquated in 2005.

He hurries to add, "Norsk lærte jeg i... fjor sommer. Det var et nettkurs." I learned Norwegian… last year. Online class.

"Hvilket da?" Which one? Bella asks, because Charlie needs to hear about this. The doctor has beautiful, if slightly outdated, pronunciation.

The doctor’s smile turns uncertain. She gets the feeling there’s something he doesn’t want to say. "Husker ikke," I don’t remember, sier han etter en litt vel lang pause.

That’s a shame. And weird.

"De hadde hellet med Dem i dag, som ikke ble truffet av den bilen." You were lucky today, not getting hit by that car. he then says, noticeably changing the subject.

"Det var ikke hell, det var Edward," It wasn’t luck, it was Edward, she replies sharply.

The doctor definitely looks uncomfortable.

She continues, "Han krysset skolegården på et blunk, og plukket opp hele bilen. Jeg så det," He crossed the schoolyard in a moment, and picked up the whole car. I saw it,

The doctor laughs. "Om han kunne det hadde nok gymkarakteren hans vært meget bedre. Nei, frøken Swan*, jeg beklager å si at det høres ut som at De er litt omtåket. Det er helt normalt ved hjernerystelse." If he could do that, his PE grade would be a lot better. No, Miss Swan, I’m sorry to say you seem confused. That’s normal with concussions.

*Addressing a young woman as “frøken” is even more outdated than using polite pronouns.

Why does Bella get the feeling he’s lying?

She’s discharged.

We’ll jump ahead to her trip to La Push - that trip uneventful, since Jacob knows she doesn’t speak English. They stick their hands in their pockets and stare at the sea.

The next day she’s shanghaied to Port Angeles, because apparently she said “Yes” at the wrong time when talking to Jessica (Turns out Jess’s name was Jessica!) and accidentally said yes to a day trip to Port Angeles.

Like in canon she wanders away from the others, and as in canon she is nearly gang raped. And again as in canon she is saved at the last moment by Edward.

He buys her dinner, and she can’t believe her own luck- and misfortune. A date with the most handsome guy on the planet (hence the luck) and she can’t say a word to him (hence the misfortune)!

He says things to her, lends her his jacket, and really this is it for Bella, she’s peaked, life can’t get better than this.

(That’s a lie, it would be better if she spoke English.)

He’s so amazing.

She’s gotten pretty good at navigating conversations with him, so she nods and aha’s her way through.

In his car on the way home the tone takes a more serious turn.

He asks her about something, and it’s a serious question, that much she’s gathered. She answers in the confirmative.

He is silent.

Did she say anything wrong?

(Edward, on his end, just asked if she knows what he is. She said yes, so calmly, not even a trace of fear in her.)

A few days later he takes her out on a walk in the woods.

He shows her a meadow in the woods, and when he steps into it he lights up in the sunlight.

Bella is in shock.

She knew there was something different about him, but- holy cow. This guy isn’t human.

Is she dating a god?

She stumbles into the clearing after him, and they spend a day together where he says things, and she can barely hear any of it (nevermind understand it) because she’s so distracted by how pretty he is.

The next day he takes her to a house in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t want to guess that this can be where he lives. Surely gods don’t live in houses?

He shows her inside the house, and introduces her for Dr. Cullen and a lady with a name she doesn’t catch.

Bit weird that these two are acting like a couple of parents, they’re far too young and divine for that.

Edward shows her around in an old-fashioned office, and she doesn’t know what to make of i when she sees a painting of Carlisle. Edward launches into a long story when he sees her watching it, unfortunately she doesn’t catch any dates or artist names. At one point she heard the word “suicide”, though, and that’s not good.

She doesn’t get much out of the story.

The baseball game doesn’t happen because Bella didn’t pick up on what Edward wanted and didn’t realize she was being invited to a thing. They spend the afternoon watching a movie instead.

The relationship continues, impeded slightly by communication problems, but she’s mostly able to cover those up.

Until her birthday comes around.

She gets a papercut.

Jasper lunges at her. Edward throws her into a glass table, and then everyone is leaving.

Carlisle is kind enough to switch to Norwegian when he’s stitching up her arm, perhaps remembering the last time she was his patient. "Jasper har ikke vært på dietten vår så veldig lenge." Jasper hasn’t been on our diet for very long.

"Diett?"she asks. She’s never seen Edward eat anything. She wasn’t clear on what the Cullens ate, honestly she thought they were above such things. She was thinking maybe photosynthesis. The knowledge that they apparently eat food astounds her, but diets?

"Dyreblod istedenfor menneskeblod," Animal blood in stead of human blood, Carlisle clarifies.

Whachasay?

Carlisle gives a slight smile. “Jaspers liv som vampyr fikk en brutal start." Jasper’s life as a vampire got off to a brutal start.

...

Vampire?!

Bella’s missed something here.

Oh dear lord, oh fy faen, she has missed something.

“Åja”, uh huh, is all she can say, and suddenly she’s very aware of the fact that she’s sitting there with a bleeding arm.

And Carlisle.

Who is a vampire.

Over the course of the following conversation Bella makes a host of discoveries.

Edward has been a vampire this whole time, and he’s a telepathic vampire. Whether Bella should be a vampire too or not has been a matter of hot debate, but due to religious reasons Edward doesn’t want that.

Carlisle also brings up how Edward died of the Spanish flu.

"Jeg var under den oppfatning at Edward fortalte deg bakhistorien min?" I was under the impression Edward told you my back story? Carlisle asks at one point, and Bella just has to ask very nicely if he’d be so kind as to repeat it.

Turns out the guy is nearly four hundred years old.

Jaha.

Jahahaha jaa ha.

That’s… a lot.

She wanders out of the house in shock, and hardly notices Edward’s strange behavior over the next couple of days.

One day he picks her up at school, and takes her behind the house.

That works out.

He’s a vampire, but he never hurt her. He is endlessly beautiful, perhaps easier to love now that she knows he’s not a god. He’s her Edward, and that’s suddenly easier now that she knows.

They can still be together.

But now that she knows this about him, it’s about time he knows something about her as well.

It’s time to finally be honest with him.

So when he opens his mouth, she opens her mouth as well, but she doesn’t get any further than to “Edward-” before he launches into a monologue.

She’ll have to wait until he’s done before saying her piece. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it doesn’t seem like he intends to stop talking anyway.

And what he’s saying seems to be serious, so it’s probably best to let him finish.

Edward concludes his monologue by kissing her forehead. Then he disappears.

Where did he go?

A big unsure, Bella goes back to the house. She’ll just have to wait until he gets back.

She doesn’t know what to think when Charlie returns from work and tells her the Cullens have all left.

Oh, god.

Edward must have found out she doesn’t speak English.

She made a mockery of him.

He has every right to leave.

Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

Bella sinks into a depression.

The hallucinations begin, as in canon, though Hallusinward speaks Norwegian. Thank god for small mercies.

The friendship with Jacob (dictionary in hand) blooms, as someone has to help her see those hallucinations.

The cliff diving happens, and Alice shows up. Bella’s not sure what this is about, but she has gotten good enough at English to know that something bad happened, and Alice wants them to do something.

She’s a bit surprised to find herself on a plane to Italy, though.

Alice tells her to “Run to Edward” and ok, she got that, actually.

So she saves Edward.

After that she’s taken into the sewer, which turns out to house dozens of vampires.

Bella, Edward, and Alice are received in some kind of hall, where an unusual vampire has quite a bit to say. She understands some of what he’s saying, at least the part about “la tua cantante”. She knows a bit about Italian, see, so she knows that he’s talking about a song now.

She wishes she knew the context.

At one point he takes her hand, and appears fascinated by it. She wonders if he’s a palmreader. Not very vampirey, but what does she know.

He asks her a question.

"Yes," she says.

Saying yes has gotten her this far, after all.

But when he lights up and claps his hands together, and Edward and Alice stare at her in shock and betrayal, she knows she must have said the wrong thing.

The two are dismissed from the room before Bella can do or say anything, she’s just listening to Edward make a racket outside in the hallway.

Not good.

The unusual vampire brings her further down in his sewer palace to a basement, and she is given comfortable clothes to wear.

This is getting terrifying.

The vampire leans towards her - and she chickens out.

"Jeg snakker ikke engelsk!" she squeaks. "Non habla ingles!" I don’t speak English.

Han stanser, og ser forvirret ut. "Que- Hva behager*?" I beg your pardon? spør han etter et øyeblikk.

*A very formal, and slightly outdated (you can use it, but people will think you’re putting on airs. And they will be right) way of saying “excuse me?”

Sobbing, Bella tells him the whole story, from how she didn’t want to be the weird kid in school to how she’s now somehow in Italy without knowing why nor what she just agreed to.

When she’s done the vampire starts laughing.

"Dette forklarer jo en hel del," This explains quite a bit, ler han. "Men, kjære Bella, jeg er redd det ikke endrer noe." But, my dear Bella, I’m afraid it changes nothing.

He tells her that she has agreed to serve him and his army of undead warriors into eternity.

Well fuck.

"Du skal få slippe det, når du ikke visste hva du samtykket til - men skjebnen din forblir den samme. Loven er loven." You’re released from that promise, as you didn’t know what you agreed to - but your fate remains the same. The law is the law.

After a moment of silence, during which she looks terrified, he hurries to add, "Vi har en lov. Du må bli en av oss." We have a law. You must become one of us.

A law that Bella Swan has to become a vampire?

People are finally speaking Norwegian, and Bella is still lost. And it’s too embarrassing to keep pestering this poor, polite man with questions.

So she nods.

He gives her a glittering smile, and bites her.

When she wakes, Aro offers her an English course. A language course that, naturally, leads to her staying in Volterra. Why not learn a few more languages while we’re at it, dearest Bella?

Some time later Edward breaks into Volterra to save his Rapunzel, only to barely recognize her now that she’s a vampire who says things. Lots of things, she talks all the time now. WHAT DID ARO DO TO HER.

Too mortified to admit that she never spoke English, Bella claims she’s been brainwashed.

Aro is having too much fun to correct her, and the whole sad affair sets off a regrettable flood of rumors.

[somin-yin]

RC love interests in all stories you're reading? 👀

Hello there! Thank you for the ask ❤️ I'll start listing my LIs from the stories I'm currently invested in and spend diamonds on (warning: it will get ranty 🤷‍♀️)

Theodora - Julian in my main account (because I previously romanced John) and Charlotte in my other account where I previously romanced Lawrence. I was planning to go for Blaine at the beginning but the way he treated his ex fiancée who was a S.A. victim really put me off from him. I know you may argue "But try to understand him, he didn't know", but who tried to understand the r4ped girl? Who tried to even listen to her? So tired of r4pe victims being made feel guilty by society for something they are not to blame. He just shouldn't have jumped to assumptions, by doing that he's contributing to the problem. And if you're going to say "The girl should have told him", it's rather HE should have bothered to listen instead of just leaving like that. I'm just not going to victim-blame the r4ped girl. His attitude was awful and it rightfully put me off from him completely.

Gladiator Chronicles - My cinnamon roll Orvon, despite the angst in his route, I'm enjoying it and cruel Rix and him still give me Sangihun vibes 😂

Kali: Call of Darkness - Who could it be? Who knows, it's a mystery and it's not as if I've spoken countless times about him, not at all :0 (a hint: it starts with Ra and ends in tan) 😂

The One - Luka and Deshawn ❤️ but I have to admit I also like Kelsie and surprisingly Thiago is growing on me too, I didn't like his first impression but apparently he has more depth that he let's on :0

Psi - Certainly NOT Kay. Still undecided because I have no idea who the LIs are but the Inquisitor if he's an LI ❤️

Vying for Versailles - Henrietta! I see potential in her route and I can't wait to see how it develops ❤️

Now my LIs from the stories I'm currently reading on DR:

Arcanum - Rob ❤️ emperor Selena and him are so similar! They're twin flames!

Sins of London - Doctor Lee, previously Abigail but I dumped her for my nerdy smart doctor ❤️

Dracula - Noe, the only reason I keep reading this story 🤷‍♀️ he always makes me laugh and I love his rants 😂

Heart of Trespia - D'Mario in my main account. In my other account I used to romance Reinhold but he bored me so I went for Gisella (tho I actually wanted Vanora, Wincy why ;-; <\3)

Hell and high water - I'm not really that invested in this story but RJ so far!

[anxietycomments]

Poly Heathers + Veronica is literally the best ship ever.

[ RANT ]

Like, of course, it's problematic in its own way. Their relationship would, can be, and will be, a bit dysfunctional. Chandler probably has a god complex, Duke probably has an inferiority complex, Mac feels empty, like she's useless, and has tried to off herself, and Veronica, depending on the AU, killed three people; willingly or not.

This alone would give themselves huge problems. Going with the Only JD Died SubAU.

Chandler has to deal with her god complex, almost dying, probably being put in a mental hospital for a while or living under the threat of being put into one, and the fact that she used to mistreat her (girl)friends heavily. She has to live with the fact that she's destroyed so many lives for nothing. She has to step down and destroy the crown she worked so hard for, she has to shatter the glory and the facade she's put up because it's harming everyone around her; and herself. Who truly is Heather Chandler? She doesn't know either, because that girl was lost so long ago; when The Demon Queen of Westerburg had to start her reign to survive High School.

Duke has to deal with her ED, her inferiority complex, obsession over power, watching her (girl)friends fall apart piece by piece. She's given the chance to be The New Demon Queen of Westerburg, and it's stolen away from her in a blink of an eye; it's shattered into something without meaning (Seventeen (Reprise)). She has to deal with the guilt of driving Mac to offing herself as well. I don't know much about EDs, I'll admit; but healing from anything that has a huge chance to kill you takes a lot of support. Something she's not sure she can get. Something she's not even sure she wants. Duke has always been a bitch, sure. It's easy to hate her. All she wants is power, control. She doesn't truly make friends, she makes allies; steppingstones to the throne she's known it's always been hers. For her. But there's always been a reason as to why; and it's everyone around her pushing her to do that. To be this. To be.. not her.

Mac not only feels like she just doesn't contribute to anything, but when Veronica saves her from offing herself, she probably feels guilty for it. She feels bad that she feels like she's useless, because that feeling means putting her weight on someone else and expecting them to help even though that's just.. not how it's supposed to go. She's supposed to help, be the jock of the Heathers; not as strong emotionally but strong physically. And she just can't, because her best friend was hospitalized and assumed dead, the guy she dated died too, he was gay; which meant that their relationship had been a lie (before Kurt explained that at that time they weren't dating and JD must've faked it). Duke also left her and straight up told her to die for not being emotionally strong.

Veronica Sawyer.

She helped the attempted murder of Chandler, Kurt, and Ram. While they lived, they were hospitalized and barely survived. They are left traumatized (let's not forget Kurt&Ram probably lived under the threat of being put in a mental hospital). She gave Chandler the drain cleaner, watched as she fell to her knees and passed out. While she also helped save her, it's not an easy thing to get out of your head. To this day, when Chandler does/thinks something because of that accident, it's a silent reminder of Veronica's guilt. When Kurt and Ram do the same, she thinks the same.

What about JD?.. ah. Right. JD.

She wanted a future with him. She truly believed there was good in him. She thought that if she could help him, heal him from his trauma, they'd have a happy future. She truly believed that he could be beautiful, in his own way. And maybe he could. But he still wanted to murder the Heathers, Kurt, Ram, maybe even Betty and Martha. He still wanted to play God; the one who chooses who dies, who succeeds, who suffers and who lives.

He traumatized her the way he promised no one would ever do.

I don't think a lifetime would help Veronica recover. No one can know what she did. The Heathers would be traumatized. Chandler being (threatened to be) in a mental hospital, hospitalized from being poisoned, would be her fault. Mac trying to off herself would be her fault. Duke's life beginning anew and ending ugly in a second would be her fault. Kurt's and Ram's whole thing would be her fault. The school almost exploding plus JD's death would be her fault. Everything would be her fault. She's the one domino that fell and bumped the others.

And that's gotta hurt.

[hollypies]

octonauts angst head canons

This escalated fast 🙃

I'm not. I cant do just straight up angst I'm. I'm need that comfort I dknt want them to suffer :(

Theyre a family they love each other!

But uhm. *cracks knuckles* here goes? Oh btw my hands are numb so I'm sorry if there's to many spelling errors

Captain Barnacles

Extremely claustrophobic. Hates any small space that he cannot get out of. If he's in trapped somewhere to long he panics horribly

Worries about the others if he doesn't know exactly where they are. With the amount if times they've all been separated with no real way to find each other he worries that one of them may get lost

Should one of them get hurt Captain Barnacles just. He does what he can but he has a bit of a anxiety attack later because he feels he should've prevented it. He's the Captain after all

He misses his old home. He loves it on the Octopod, but sometimes there's just. Something else that's missing.

Sometimes the pressure of feeling like. Like uhm. Being Captain and being responsible for his crew. It gets to much sometimes. Especially when something goes wrong.

Kwazii

He's very fidgety so being in confined spaces isn't great for him either.

Sometimes he feels ljke. Like he annoys the others with his tales of monsters and just. Just stuff like that

Worries that he's going to lose his crew. His family. He doesn't want to be cast away.

Gets really upset if he thinks someone is reallt mad at him. He tries to fix whatever he did as soon as possible

He does have a mysterious pirate past. Im assuming he didn't stay with his old crew. Maybe due to how he sees the world, especially sea life .

Worries that his stimming might be annoying to a degree

Has some . Mysterious scars. He says he got them in battle with a dangerous sea monster.

Gets dysphoric occasionally. Especially if he's already upset.

Peso

So much anxiety. He gets overwhelmed real easily and panics quickly. This can cause a complete shutdown or a panic attack

I believe he's the youngest on the Octopod. Because of this and a few other reasons he feels like. Like he doesn't really know his place. He's a medic obviously, but he's not as experienced as everyone else is

He worries horribly when someone gets hurt, and overthinks that soemthine might be worse than it is.

If two or more of the crew gets into an argument, the angry type, Peso has to flee to his room and lock the door. He doesn't like his friends fighting, and angry people tend to make his insecurities worse. He'll start to think its all his fault and lock himself in a loop

When he has a meltdown its . Hard to pull him out of it. He tends to fixate on just. Every thing wrong.

Peso just. Really doesn't want to let anyone down.

He misses his family. He loves his found family! But like Barnacles, he does miss his other one

Terrified of the dark. Has gotten a bit better abojt his fear but. Still hates the dark

Dashi

Dashi doesn't have break downs easily ,but when she does it's really rough

She can't be in the quiet too long because the silence just. It messes with her. Makes her feel uneasy

She tries to take things easily, but when she gets overwhelmed or angry she tends to snap at the others. This can cause problems

She's also not as experienced as say, Captain Barnacles, Kwazii, and Tweak. She's a tech expert, but she's not super used to being underwater all the time

She wishes she could contribute more to the team

She has a few chronic pains that come an go. Its really. Some days can be bad

Tweak

Tweak cant sleep. She has horrible insomnia.

This can make mornings especially difficult, and if she doesn't get enough sleep she gets bad mood swings. This can lead to fighting

They get bad dysphoria, and sometimes they just. Hate that they feel that way.

As the creator of the Gups, he feels guilty when skemthing goes wrong with one of them. Especially if a glitch or something she missed gets someone else hurt.

Sometimes they'll work themselves into a frenzy and forget just. Basic self care lkke drinking water or eating.

Tweak worries about being to blunt and hurting someone else's feelings.

Worries about not knowing exactly what tk do.

Doesn't like loud noises at all. They bother her a lot

Shellington

Shellington very much has autism! This makes it a bit harder to understand social cues and if the others are fighting he sometimes accidentally makes things worse.

It also makes it hard if things go off schedule. He gets just. Overwhelmed and . If it's really bad has a meltdown

Sometimes fears he's doing something wrong. Like , like what he says and things like that. He over thinks an gets really anxious about it

He doesn't like angry yelling, it's a trigger for him. He'll shut down or have a meltdown.

Worries he annoys the crew when he infodumps

He's glad the vegimals (basically his children) have the rest of the Octonauts to fall back on if they need something he can't provide, but it does. Hurt a little, knowing he can't help them with everything

Shellington can accidentally lock himself into his research for hours at a time. Unhealthy so. Usually the Vegimals can break him out of it but not all the time.

Professor Inkling

I cant think of much for him, other he is old. He worries that the Octonauts, that his family will be. Just . Distraught.

He worries about all of them, a lot. He knows their young anf capable but. He's seen some of the stuff that happens. Its not always a safe job

He's more or less a therapist to everyone, and does his best to listen and help then with their problems. If he can't , he just let's them have a shoulder to cry on.

Yeah I m. Km not gonna do this to the Vegimals they're kids. I cannot :(

But because that was. Upsetting and . Sad . Im gonna do comfort ones now!! Because they're a family for the Goddesses sake!! They love and support each other through the hard times. I'm not gonna go one by one its hsut gonna be. A jumble of comfort things

Here goes!!

The only one who really knows about Captain Barnacles' claustrophobia is Kwazii. It's not in his medical file for some reason. Anyway Kwazii will generally help Barnacles through a panic attack or joke with him to more or less put him at ease.

Kwazii is actually pretty open with his emotions. It's also really easy to pick up on when he's upset. The others get him gifts and littke trinkets or just spend time goofing off with him to cheer him up. Especially when he feels like he's being left behind.

Everyone does their best to help Captain Barnacles when he's just. Over worked. Or seriously worried. They let him sleep in extra or let him hover over them or just. Just listen to him and reassure him that it's OK to feel overwhelmed. They're ok, theyre all ok . During a day like that they host a movie night and take turns picking movies. All of them are there, and they have a wonderful time. If their Captain cries no one says anything anf they just huddle together and stay there as long as he needs

If there's a fight Barnacles or Kwazii usually de-escalate things before it gets too bad. If it results to yelling and Peso or Shellington flee they immediately stop and fix the situation. After wards they send someone to check on the both and they spend time calming down. Sometimes they watch movies, other times they ready together.

If Peso had a panic attack its normally Kwazii or Captain Barnacles who goes and helps. Mostly because they know how how deal with the situation better. They'll just. Sit an hug it out. Just let it all out an then afterwards they go somewhere quiet an just talk about nice things

Dashi checks on Tweak a lot to make sure she's doing ok. Skemtimes they have little sleepovers!

When Shellington gets overwhelmed the vegimals will jsut sit with him and ask questions about sea life!

[maldiaaym]

Why do I think Lily Evans (Potter) was not a good friend?

Until recently, the general opinion of the fandom was that Lily Potter was a good girl, deified and the representation of purity and goodness. But, doing a more exhaustive study of the character, we can get to see how Lily evans maybe was not so holy and made mistakes due to her education and, possibly, depending on the stage of her life where she found herself when she made those mistakes.

In relation to Severus Snape, I think she was not a good friend. Regardless of his age, which we all understand that we do not see friendship in childhood, adolescence or adulthood, she also had defects that compared to other characters in the saga, they were not a role model.

Starting from the little we know about her through the worst memory and Snape's memories, we are going to take some situations into account to assess her defects:

She blamed Snape for the letter Petunia sent to Dumbledore.

She got mad at Snape for dropping a branch on Petunia, even though he did so unconsciously and Petunia was rude to him.

The discussion with Snape about what happened with Remus (werewolf accident), his distrust of who was her friend and believing others before, not caring about Snape.

The lake scene, where she never addressed Snape once, as if he didn't know him and was just another boy to help.

The same lake scene, where she taunted Snape after he called her "Mudblood".

Now, let's talk about the problems at different levels (social, emotional, mental, physical and cultural):

Social: Snape comes from a lower social class than Lily and, although at first the girl Lily did not see the difference, I suppose that as time passed she realized that it did not look good for Snape to wear second hand clothes (surely ), he had serious problems in the family sphere, Snape's own unsociable nature that did not allow him to have a larger group of friends. In childhood we do not usually take into account the social variable when making friends with other children (pre-Hogwarts), but as she became related to the peer group at Hogwarts, she surely could not help feeling somewhat ashamed of the friendship with Snape . Let me explain, in Snape's adulthood it seems that no one knew about Lily and Snape's friendship, so it would be a secret friendship (and we all know that shame towards the other is what leads to secret friendships and relationships).

Emotional: Lily quickly connected with Snape because there was something she needed from him, and it was the knowledge and the desire to be accepted in a place like Hogwarts. Hogwarts was a new world that she did not know and Snape could offer her the security of knowing that world ... But, when she knew what she had to know, Snape had nothing more to offer her, but a clandestine and unrewarding friendship for her. It is not a mistake to think this, but it does show that she deliberately used Snape and that their friendship deteriorated over time. I think she might have felt friendship for Snape in a pure way, but when she began to be friends with the marauders, her emotional level turned towards these guys and she began to move away from Snape. I think the dark arts were an excuse to end the friendship, wanting to get away from him in an interested way ... it's easy to think that, when you really feel empathy for someone, you try to make the effort to understand that person, to know why him he likes the dark arts. However, she Lily was not able to understand him, understand his fears, his insecurities and the need to flee from the hell where he was stuck.Referring to the lake scene, I think Lily had a complete dissociation from Snape by now, she didn't defend being his friend, she didn't speak to him directly even once, and when he made a mistake due to the situation, she scoffed of him and "flirted" with James.

Mental: I think Lily never understood the true meaning of friendship, not at least as she later taught us Harry by understanding Ron and Hermione and accepting his flaws, even when this child was only 11 years old. I think that Lily, as soon as she could, got rid of Snape because she no longer wanted to have an uncomfortable friend, a friend who surely helped her for years in her studies at Hogwarts (I mean surely potions). Snape was like a teacher for Lily in her access to the magical world, he helped her in the study and knowledge of the magical world and I think that Lily stopped seeing usefulness when she already found in Gryffindor and the marauders the way to go her way . I mean, I think she coldly weighed whether or not she was interested in staying friends with Snape and she conveniently cut off the friendship when she got the chance. Lily showed herself to be a cold person who did not understand what Snape was in her whole and who did not appreciate all that he had done for her.I know that calling her "Mudbloods" was not right, but instead of trying to understand the shame and harassment that Snape felt at that time, she broke off the friendship and remained friends with the stalker, the one who emotionally blackmailed her and who continued to be a bully. No one can convince me otherwise.

Physical: here we will talk about the implications of a person who is not really physically attractive. There are studies that determine that people who do not fit the standards of beauty tend to have fewer opportunities in social relationships, love relationships or even find a job. With all this I mean that, when we are children, we do not care about anyone's physical appearance, but when we reach adolescence, our group of equals teach us the canons of beauty, which is considered handsome or what not. In this case, I think Lily was superficial. That is to say, Snape was not physically attractive, surely he did not look comfortable being with him because she was a popular, pretty girl, and he was attracted to a boy who was much more attractive than Snape (even though James was, in my opinion, uglier emotionally and disrespectful to others, adding being a bully). Lily preferred to go for the handsome boy rather than choose a loyal friend who was unattractive.

Cultural: At this level many factors enter, but here I will choose to talk about the differences of ideologies and different culture between Slytherin and Gryffindor. As we know, both houses were enemies, they were the contrast between good and evil in the Harry Potter saga. Slytherin represented everything bad and Gryffindor everything good. Here we also talk about the peer group (that is, a group of people that we consider our equals and from whom we learn cultural, social, emotional and behavioral factors), where Lily in the end ended up choosing to choose Gryffindor and be immersed in ideas prefabs that already existed about Slytherin even though, surely, many ideas were not true. Some of these ideas were hatred towards the "dirty bloods", defending the purity of blood, ambition as a negative element and cunning as if it were something bad that always leads to cheating.Where I see these preconceptions most clearly is in the scene where Lily argues with Snape for defending Mulciber, etc ... in this scene it seems that Lily puts the marauders before (she is supposed to talk about them) because they are from her house and believes that what Mulciber does is worse because he is in Slytherin. Being in Gryffindor, she is believed to have the moral superiority and the right to claim Snape to choose a position, when obviously Snape, like Lily, will choose their peer group. The point here is that Lily prefers to believe the marauders and put Snape in the guilty position, without even asking if his friend is okay or asking him what he saw ... Lily is not interested in knowing what happened because surely he was content with James's version and would always doubt any version Snape could give it.

Up to here, I did my study. It is a bit lazy, I wrote it on the fly and remembering some of the knowledge I acquired when I was studying Pedagogy. But, in essence, I hope you have understood. In the end, Lily opted for what she considered to be okay based on ideas and beliefs that she ended up having with her peer group. She put her friendship with the marauders first and decided to coldly and selfishly eliminate her friendship with Snape. In the end, we have all had friends from whom we have moved away because they no longer shared things with us (although I can presume that I never alienated anyone for thinking differently or liking things that I did not like), but also friends that we have from all our lives, with those of us who do not like things about them, but accept them and try to understand them, where the company of that person is valued more and we do not care what they tell us. It is true that the "peer group" exerts a lot of influence on us, despising those who consider strange people or have unusual habits for the majority of the population. But Snape and Lily met in childhood, this factor should not have been decisive for their estrangement and, I am afraid, that in the almost of Lily, he ended up accepting the conditions of his peer group to the detriment of maintaining a friendship that so much contributed. I don't hate Lily, I have no problem with her, for me she really is a flat character, too overrated and that only has a few three lines in the entire Harry Potter saga. It is impossible to empathize with her as we would with other characters and she hardly has any development of her. The most remarkable thing about her is that she gave her life for her son, otherwise she showed us a girl who had a strange friendship with Snape and who married the popular boy of her time.

[bisexualbumblebee-writes]

Squeak- Fred Weasley x OC

Fred Weasley x Mallorie Bishopp

Description: When Mallorie is turned back into a human after drinking a prank potion from the twins, she’s left with a squeak that gives cause for bullying by others. The twins, in retaliation, decide to prank everyone who made her cry, but it isn’t enough for Fred. 

Word Count: 1.5k

“Squeaky.” That’s the name that had been not-so-affectionately gifted to Mallorie Bishopp. Of course she hadn’t always been labeled such an unoriginal nickname, but it had been with her almost from the beginning. Why? Well, it all started with a certain pair of Weasley twins. 

After arriving at Hogwarts, it didn’t take Fred and George long to establish their title as pranksters. Their first year went by in a breeze with small pranks. Naturally, a successful year boosted their confidence, and it made them more ambitious. That’s why they upped their game at the beginning of second year. The end of their second year marked their second successful year in a row, which obviously furthered their need to up the ante. So, when third year rolled around, they decided to start it off with a bang. 

They had attempted to turn someone into a hamster using a special polyjuice potion they’d recently learned about in a book from Bill. The problem? Fred and George hadn’t ever done a test with it. Mallorie had been the first. So, when they tried to turn her back into a human, not everything went back to normal. 

To their credit, they did take away almost all of the hamster qualities. But, by the end of it she was stuck with a hamster-like squeak. Mallorie desperately went to Professor Sprout since she was the head of Hufflepuff, who in turn went to Professor Snape for any kind of reversal potion. Unfortunately he couldn’t administer something because she only had a single symptom that wasn’t that big, and he didn’t know what kind of effects it could have. Though she was saddened by the information, Mallorie understood and accepted that this queak would likely be a part of her. 

Eventually she was able to learn to suppress it, but she still squeaked when she was excited, nervous or scared. Now, at Hogwarts, there were some really good students, the kind to write home about how great they were. But, there were also some rather nasty ones to balance it out. Those were the ones Mallorie worried about, and as it turned out, she had good reason to. 

The very first time those awful kids heard her squeak, they laughed at her until she finally ran out of the Great Hall in tears. And it unfortunately continued on throughout the school year. Every single time they saw her they would mockingly squeak, laugh at her, or call her “squeaky.” Sometimes it was all three, which made her accidentally squeak because she was getting upset. That in turn doubled their laughter until she finally walked out of the room, yet again in tears. She became much more reserved after that, not really talking to anyone. Instead she just chose to listen instead of contributing to the conversation. 

Fred and George had watched every interaction, then shared a guilty look. They felt absolutely horrible that they were the cause of such ruthless bullying. In an attempt to apologize without explicitly saying the words (she wouldn’t let them get close enough) they decided to enact revenge for her. Within the rest of the school year the twins had managed to prank anyone who mocked her in a way that would get their point across: stop messing with Mallorie or it would happen again. And it worked. Those who were pranked immediately stopped their torment of the girl and those who weren’t just stopped out of fear. 

While George was happy with the progress they made, his older brother felt much more different about it. The guilt was still all but eating him alive, and everyone could tell. He spent most of his time (when not doing homework at the last minute) thinking about it. It was beginning to annoy George, so he finally confronted his twin. 

“If you feel so bad about it, why don’t you just apologize to her?” He suggested one day during lunch. Fred, who’d been staring at Mallorie over at the Hufflepuff table, glanced at him with surprise evident on his face. 

“What?” George shrugged. 

“I mean, you still feel guilty. What better way to get rid of it than by just apologizing to Mallorie?” The older twin considered his words for a moment, lips pursing in thought. Finally, he glanced at his brother and nodded with a small smile. 

“Wonderful idea George,” he responded. Just as he began to stand to walk over to the Hufflepuff table, he paused when he realized Mallorie was no longer at the table. She’d managed to slip out of the Great Hall in the five seconds he’d looked away from her. A small huff left his lips and he plopped back into his seat. 

“She’s going back to the Hufflepuff common room if you’re curious,” the boys heard from behind them. Upon turning around they were met with Corinne, another Hufflepuff girl. A smile instantly appeared on George’s face, which made Fred smirk internally. 

“Mallorie always goes back to the common room because she has a study hall after lunch,” the redhead informed them matter-of-factly. “She prefers to be alone, so if a certain someone wanted to talk to her, they’d be completely alone. Metaphorically, of course.” 

“Uh huh,” Fred played along. “And would a certain redhead want to give me the password to the Hufflepuff common room?” 

“Yes she would,” she said with a giggle. “There are three rows of large barrels at the common room entrance. Just tap the barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row in the rhythm of ‘Helga Hufflepuff.’ The lid will swing open and show you the passageway when you step through it.” The boy shared a look, then grinned. 

“Thanks Corinne,” Fred said, standing up. Once he was out of his seat the girl took his place beside George with a smile in his direction. He sent a quick wave to the duo before heading down to the entrance. 

Upon arriving in the common room he was met with exactly what Corrine said. Mallorie was the only inhabitant of the room. She was sitting on one of the few couches around the spacious room with her nose in their mandatory Herbology textbook, likely studying for the upcoming quiz on Pufapods as music played from a record player against the far right wall. Fred took a deep breath as he watched her. She looked so pretty when she was at peace. He almost felt bad that he was about to interrupt her, but he knew that he would never have his peace of mind if he didn’t apologize to her asap. So, he walked over to her. 

“Hey, Mallorie,” he called softly. The girl squeaked, obviously having not heard anyone enter, and looked up. When she realized who it was she squeaked again and stood up too quickly. That caused her book to close after hitting the carpeted ground. Mallorie sighed, upset at the prospect of knowing she lost her page, then faced Fred. 

“What are you doing here? How did you even get in here?” She questioned anxiously. 

“Corinne, gave me the password,” he answered simply. The girl huffed, shaking her head. 

“Figures,” she grumbled under her breath before crossing her arms. “Well, what do you want then?” 

“To apologize,” Fred responded with an awkward smile. 

“You really don’t have to-”

“Yes I do,” he cut her off. “You deserve a proper apology, so I’m giving you one. Mallorie, I am sorry that George and I turned you into a hamster. We were just trying to have a bit of fun but it got out of control. We didn’t know that it would lead to you getting made fun of. Of course we tried to fix it by getting revenge for you so it would stop, but I still feel bad about it. Which is why I’m here now. So, I’m sorry.” Mallorie looked visibly surprised by his genuine apology, and her features softened. 

“Wow, Fred,” she started with a quiet laugh. “I’ve gotta say, I wasn’t really expecting this from you. George, maybe, but probably not you. You must really feel bad.” 

“I do,” he responded without hesitation. 

“Well then, I accept your apology,” she said, which made him grin. 

“I’d like to take you out to make up for it,” he added. “Hogsmeade, this weekend? If you want to, of course.” A small smile graced the girl’s face. 

“I would like that a lot,” she answered, unable to suppress the excited squeak that left her afterwards. A deep blush coated her cheeks as she covered her mouth. The (very adorable) sound made the boy chuckle. Before they could say anything else the bell rang, signaling that they needed to get to their next class. 

“And hey, for what it’s worth, I think the squeak is adorable,” he spoke. The last thing he saw was Mallorie’s shy smile before he headed back out of the common room. Mallorie couldn’t help but watch him leave, waiting until he was out of the room before hurriedly beginning to pack her things. She couldn’t wait for this weekend.

[headcanonsandmore]

Father To Son Chat

Summary: Ron goes to his dad for some advice.

             Read on FFN.                                           Read on AO3. 

Just a quick drabble I wrote; hope you like it

~~~~~~~~~~

‘Dad?’

Arthur Weasley looked up from the plug he was examining. Ron was stood in the doorway, his head poking into the shed.

‘Oh, hello,’ Arthur said, smiling. ‘Everything okay, son?’

‘Er, yeah…’ Ron replied, sounding a little hesitant. ‘But, well… can I talk to you about something?’

‘Of course; pull up a seat.’

Ron closed the shed door behind him, and pulled up an old deck chair, placing it next to where Arthur was sat.

‘So, what’s on your mind, Ron?’

Ron checked over his shoulder, as if expecting the rest of the family to be poking their heads through the door. Arthur couldn’t help noticing that Ron’s ears had turned pink, the tell-tale sign that he was embarrassed.

‘It’s… well, it’s about Hermione.’

‘Ah,’ Arthur said. ‘I take it that this is something you would rather not be eavesdropped over?’

Ron nodded.

‘So… what about Hermione? The two of you are friends again, correct?’

‘Y-yeah,’ Ron said. ‘Except… well, things have gotten pretty complicated.’

‘Would the situation with Lavender Brown have been a contributing factor?’

Ron groaned.

‘I’ve had it in the neck from Harry, Ginny and the twins ever since,’ he mumbled, his ears going maroon. ‘As if I wasn’t already feeling guilty about it anyway…’

Arthur patted Ron on the shoulder.

‘Son, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were dating someone and broke up with them; that’s perfectly normal behaviour.’

‘Not the way everyone goes on about it,’ Ron said, quietly. ‘Harry and Cho fell apart, but no-one teases Harry about it. Ginny and Dean broke up too but, for some reason, I’m the only one who gets laughed at. I know I avoided breaking up with Lavender for ages, but-’

‘You did so because you were worried about upsetting her feelings?’

‘Well… yeah.’

‘Then it’s perfectly understandable,’ Arthur said. ‘You were in your first relationship, Ron; of course you’d be unsure of how to end it.’

‘It… it wasn’t just that,’ Ron said. ‘I… everyone goes on about the fact that I snogged Lavender and it was gross, but everyone else does the same whenever they’ve been part of a couple. Why am I the only one who can’t snog someone without getting laughed at for it?’

Arthur sighed.

‘I’m sure the others don’t mean it like that.’

‘I kissed Lavender after a Quidditch match, and everyone says it was disgusting. But Harry kissed Ginny after another match. How come they… why is everything so much easier for everyone-else?’

Making a mental note to have a stern talking-to with the twins and Ginny, Arthur placed a hand on Ron’s shoulders.

‘How am I supposed to know what to do if I’ve never done any of it before?’ Ron continued, miserably. ‘What… why…’

‘Ron,’ Arthur said, gently. ‘People shouldn’t be judging you for things like that. The twins weren’t exactly smooth when they first started trying things with girls, and Ginny certainly wasn’t when she started dating Michael Corner, or so your mother tells me, anyway.’

‘So… how do I get better?’

Ron’s blue eyes, so much like Arthur’s own, were shining with a sudden determination. Ron clearly hated being the butt of the joke, and he wanted to make sure it never happened again. Arthur could understand that a lot.

‘Well… first of all, remember that your own feelings on something matter. Don’t dismiss what you think because you think other people won’t agree. And get a clear sense of what you want and don’t want.’

Ron nodded, crossing his arms.

‘And… what about Hermione?’

Arthur couldn’t help noticing that Ron’s fingers began to trace the peck marks on his arms.

‘What do you want from Hermione?’ Arthur asked.

‘I… I’m not sure. I mean, I like being her friend again, but…’

‘Has she apologised for… you know…’

Ron looked down at the peck marks.

‘Yeah; after I got poisoned. But…’

Arthur nodded. It was clearly a difficult subject.

‘Tell you what. You focus on deciding what you want with Hermione, and I think I’ll have a little fatherly chat with the twins and Ginny. Remind them that they were all inexperienced once too.’

Ron’s smile grew wider.

‘You’re the best, dad.’

Arthur grinned.

‘I just do my best, son; that’ll all that anyone can do.’

‘Thanks, dad,’ Ron said.

‘No problem at all, son,’ Arthur said, wrapping him in a hug. ‘You know I’m here for you.’

 ~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading, everyone! Hope you enjoyed it!

[kantrips]

Alistair & Celia Headcanon Collection

Some Amell x Alistair (largely fluff) headcanons! Includes some from Origins, Warden time at Amaranthine and the Inquisition-era. Some of these I have had since my first playthrough, but others I may have read elsewhere, loved and thusly absorbed so please let me know if I can link anyone!

Origins

The first time they meet at Ostagar, Celia thinks Alistair is the most fascinating person she has ever encountered because no one in the Circle had a particularly boisterous sense of humour. Alistair is oblivious to her heart eyes, and also holds back because he’s worried she won’t survive the Joining.

Even after the Joining, Alistair tries very hard not to ~feel feelings~ despite the clear signals Celia is hurling at him because he assumes she won’t like him once she gets to know him more/she will get bored of him/ she will leave like everyone else i.e. the boy is hecking damaged.

Celia laughs obnoxiously hard at all Alistair’s jokes because a) she finds them unexpected, and b) because, like a dork, she wants to prove she gets the punch line. Alistair is perplexed by her reactions at first, and cautiously wonders if she is mocking him. Once he realises she is genuinely amused, it bolsters his ego significantly. 

Celia has no concept of personal space and sits and walks very close to everyone. There wasn’t a lot of room at the Circle so she forgets she can spread out. Morrigan makes it clear she needs to back off (Celia doesn’t need telling twice) but Alistair is more relaxed and gets used to it quickly after the confusion of the first night when she blithely sets up her bedroll right next to his. Alistair assumes she is a bit scared of sleeping in the forest but really she is just accustomed to the need to cram as many apprentice bunks into a room as possible.

In a way, Alistair is also used to sharing small spaces (Chantry and Wardens) so it doesn’t bother him at all when Celia chooses to sit pressed against his side, walks so their arms bump together, or unconsciously brushes an eyelash from his cheek. He quickly grows to like her overfamiliarity (for some reason…).

Similarly, Alistair eats Celia’s leftover food if she can’t finish it or doesn’t like it, even before they’re a couple. She just offers one day and after that it becomes a given. The others side-eye them but they are happily oblivious.   

Celia gets in trouble from the rest of the party for getting distracted yelling encouragement and cheering Alistair during combat. In turn, Alistair gets in trouble for turning around mid-battle to thank her when she buffs or heals him. Morrigan advises that if they are both so determined to get killed, she is more than happy to assist with hastening the process.

Celia’s mabari, Trevor, is quickly accepting of Alistair and his proximity to Celia because he observes Alistair protecting Celia in battle and thusly deems him to be a ‘good dog’ and considers that they are equals in the pack.

Alistair and Celia vandalise each other’s wanted posters whenever they come across them. It gets competitive.

Celia doesn’t really want to be in charge of saving the world but has three things working in her favour: 1) she absolutely hates letting people down 2) has an intense need to finish what she starts 3) she is in possession of a bossy streak.

That said she spends the entire Blight screaming internally to an extent not even Alistair fully grasps.

They go to the Circle Tower first, because Celia thinks she will have the best chance of getting help from people she knows and is also ‘homesick’ in the sense that she is very glad to be free of the place, but stressed enough with everything going on to crave something familiar even if she resents it. The events there devastate her. Along with the loss of friends and mentors she has known since childhood, being trapped by herself in the fade particularly terrifies her as she has never truly been alone for so long before in her life. It reminds her of the Harowing which totally blindsided her. She is very teary, untalkative and introspective for some time afterwards, but both Trevor and Alistair have the correct instinct to stay close without trying to interact with her which she finds incredibly comforting.

Accustomed to making potions, Celia will not under any circumstances deviate from a recipe while cooking, whereas Alistair just chucks everything in to use up leftovers and see what happens. Alistair gets meals together super quickly whereas Celia takes forever. A little unfairly, Celia is perceived as the better cook because she produces very consistent meals, while Alistair’s experiments sometimes do work, and sometimes don’t, with people tending to focus on the disasters rather than the successes. Meanwhile Celia is rather: “should I add half a sprig of rosemary? No I mustn’t: it would be far too daring!” so everyone learns to tip their own seasonings into their bowl before even tasting her food.

When they’re travelling and walking for days on end, Alistair and Celia make up a lot of games in the vein of ‘I spy’ and ‘would you rather?’ They can occasionally persuade others to participate though no one enjoys them or gets quite as invested as Celia and Alistair (who are actual children).

A game stops abruptly one day when Celia guilelessly asks if Alistair would rather be Emperor of Orlais or King of Fereldan and he gets extremely defensive and answers, “Neither.” Having no context for this reaction (yet), Celia (a stickler for the rules) pushes him, insisting his answer isn’t allowed and that he���s cheating until Alistair gets grouchy, stomps off and refuses to play anything for days. 

Celia figures he must be overtired, but his unhappy reaction does come back to her later at the Landsmeet and contributes to her already firm resolve not to put him on the throne.

When bored, Alistair also periodically asks Celia to, “Do a trick!” with her magic and she usually obliges with something small and silly which Wynne always scolds them for (but they continue to do anyway).

Celia does not like Eamon one bit and makes it clear from their first meeting. Alistair actually gets a bit annoyed at her because she is polite to 99% of the other people they meet and he can’t understand what her problem is. Celia won’t say because she doesn’t want to drive Alistair away so she remains coldly civil towards Eamon and commences a long, looong process of nudging Alistair towards having the realisation himself that a) Eamon is manipulative, selfish and cruel and b) Alistair deserves better.

Celia wants to collect some of the books they find which is not practical given they are constantly travelling, but Alistair carries as many as he can in his pack and suffers in silence for it, ultimately finding it worth it for her enthusiastic gratitude.

Celia cuts Alistair’s hair and does a very respectable job after weeks of him complaining it’s flopping in his eyes (they used to cut each other’s hair in the Circle). Zevran pretends she did an awful job, gasping in horror at Alistair’s appearance, much to Celia’s ire. Alistair (internally weeping) tries to be brave until he can check his reflection in some plate mail and see it is fine.

Celia is very naïve about how the ‘real world’ works having been at the Circle since she was a child. This is especially evident in Denerim and Alistair has to explain how money works and grab her before she wanders down dicey looking alleyways.

Alistair nearly dissolves into a paroxysm of agony when he points out his favourite type of cheese at the Denerim Markets and (accustomed to the very limited range of bland foods provided at the Circle) Celia innocently asks, “There is more than one type of cheese?” Alistair makes it his mission to educate her. She doesn’t like most of what he feeds her but doesn’t say so to protect his feelings given he seems to take the matter so incredibly personally.

Leliana convinces Celia to sing one evening at the campfire. She’s breathy with a very limited range but manages okay, and Leliana plays and harmonises in support. Watching on with a goofy smile plastered over his face, Alistair comments to the surrounding companions about how talented she is and they’re like “…she’s really not mate.”

When they both wake up from a blightmare (or Celia has one and wakes Alistair with her flailing) they sneak about and eat anything they can find then sit up and have massive deep & meaningfuls (i.e. in the spirit of going for a long drive with a friend or being in the garden with someone outside a party and spilling your guts). Eventually they start blaming the depleted food stores on Leliana’s nug, Schmooples, much to Leliana’s displeasure.

Given Celia usually responds so well to his jokes, Alistair gets a bit peeved when Celia starts replying to some of his more severely self-deprecating humour with an unamused, “No you’re not,” or, “That’s not true.” He defensively argues it’s just a joke, but he does stop doing it so much as time goes on.

Celia is SO excited when Alistair gives her the rose. She never in her life thought she would be the recipient of a proper ~romantic gesture~…however she accidentally sits on the rose about five minutes after she gets it. Celia is devastated. There is a lot of panic and tears and she keeps one petal pressed in a book but has to unceremoniously ditch the rest in secret.

Celia doesn’t tell Alistair about this until years later and she’s terrified he’ll be hurt but he just laughs because he was so worried he was going to be the one to squash it and then she destroyed it basically the minute she got it. Alistair acknowledges it was an impractical gift given their situation. Celia gets mad and says it was a PERFECT gift and is annoyed at how funny he finds it given this has been a crushing, guilty secret hanging over her for years.

Following this, every time Alistair gives her any kind of gift, he can’t help but throw in a ‘Don’t sit on it!” and cracks himself up, especially when Celia gets grumpy about it and accuses him of spoiling the moment. It happens so often that when Alistair chooses a horse for her and plans to teach her to ride, Celia manages to cut him off with, “Yes, I know Alistair: I can sit on this one,” and steals his thunder.

Alistair periodically says Celia’s name just to check if she’ll answer, especially after a long period of quiet or to see if she’s awake à la screaming in the chantry because it’s so silent. When she responds he says, “Nothing” or “Never mind” but he finds it vaguely comforting just to hear her reply and it’s a habit he never loses, even when they have been together for years and he is much less isolated generally. Alistair doesn’t realise he’s doing it, and it never happens frequently enough for Celia to notice: she just assumes he has lost his train of thought.

They sometimes conspire to purposely fall to the back of the group while on the road so that they can hold hands. Everyone knows full well what they are doing, but Alistair and Celia think they are being incredibly ~sneaky~.

The first time they sleep together they laugh. A lot. Before, during and after.

Alistair snores loudly but only when he’s on his back. Celia is used to the noise of people sleeping around her at the Circle so it doesn’t bother her and she doesn’t want to disturb him because she knows he needs the rest.

When they are known to be sharing a tent however, their companions will slap on the walls of it and demand she kick him until he stops snoring. Celia will relent and gently prod and nudge Alistair until he rolls over with a bit of sleepy grumbling.

I think everyone has this headcanon to the point it is basically actual canon HOWEVER I am legally obligated to include it: Alistair is a professional body heat distributor and Celia drastically cuts down on the number of blankets she uses once they are sleeping together. If she stands in front of him on cold days, he understands the non-verbal signal and will automatically wrap her in his cloak.

Also might as well be canon: Alistair likes to be the little spoon. He doesn’t say, but Celia knows.

Decidedly not a fluff one (you can skip to Amaranthine to avoid) but the ritual with Morrigan fairly significantly messes Alistair up (both the act itself and his consideration of the repercussions i.e. Kieran). He’s jubilant and relieved at their victory over the Archdemon, but in the background struggles to process and there is some fallout once the victory celebrations lull and he has time to fully register what happened. Alistair grapples with a lot of guilt, disgust and confusion. He doesn’t know how to express it or where to direct his emotions so it mainly manifests as self-loathing. He wants to talk to Celia about it but can’t articulate his feelings which makes him feel worse.

Celia tries to comfort him, but he needs space on and off for a long while after and she gives him it. She feels a lot of guilt too, and never stops wondering how much it was actually his choice to do the ritual, worrying that she made him feel like he had to do it. Eventually they discuss it openly and honestly, which eases both of their minds somewhat, but it takes a long time to get to a point where they can talk on the subject. Meeting Kieran at Skyhold also helps Alistair down the line, though it’s obviously painful.

Amaranthine & Inquisition

Alistair keeps an eye out for people struggling, especially new recruits who are having trouble fitting in. He takes them under his wing and is very good at building people up and making sure everyone is included. He’ll just start enthusiastically greeting people like they are his best friend and squeezing himself onto the bench next to them at meals until everyone else follows suit.

For recruits that don’t respond well to his ‘mother hen’ type attention, Celia is good at assigning tasks that specifically highlight their strengths and builds their confidence/sense of purpose which also gains them the respect of their peers.

Alistair has been known to stand behind Celia while she is giving mundane orders/making speeches and pull faces or impersonate her, turning stony and impassive when she spins around accusingly because people are laughing.  

But if anyone else talks smack about her he gets very, “Sorry mate, just to clarify was that comment directed at my wife, your Commander, the hERO OF FERELDAN, VANQUISHER OF AN ARCHDEMON!? That’s lucky, I didn’t THINK IT LIKELY. Because that wouldn’t be WISE, would it now?” etc. with some loud, fake laughter and firm backslapping for the worst offenders.

The plan for them to part ways so that Celia can search for a cure goes very badly, especially because Celia (under a lot of stress and not coping™) eventually devolves into, “I’m in charge and I say so,” which is a big betrayal of their agreements both to stay together, and make decisions together on equal footing. She realises this and takes it back but Alistair is demoralised and gives in with a bit of petty, sarcastic reverence e.g. saluting and, “Whatever you say boss, don’t know why I dared to utter an opinion how foolish of me...” so they still part on slightly strained terms, even after later mutually apologising and trying to make the most of their time together before they go.

Both regret the argument during their separation and write horribly soppy letters to each other, but something still feels uncomfortably unresolved until they are together again. They pine. So much. It’s disgusting and cliched. There is considerable sighing and staring at the moon or deep into tankards, very much to the ire of those around them. Alistair can be particularly annoying: “This roll reminds me of my wife...she eats bread sometimes...”

After Celia sends the letter to the Inquisitor, she writes to Leliana directly along the lines of, “I know it was incredibly subtle but I wanted to check: did they get the message? That I will destroy them if Alistair gets hurt?” and Leliana replies in the vein of, “Hon, it wasn’t even remotely subtle ffs…”

When reunited, though ecstatic and nearly delirious with joy and relief, it takes a while to rebuild the trust they once had, especially for Alistair. There’s an unfamiliar awkwardness that flares up unexpectedly, but it doesn’t last and they’re both fully committed to each other and to staying together permanently this time.

Celia and Alistair have a conversation recapping everything that happened while they were apart in which Celia is all, “Poor Hawke. Honestly I’m shocked you didn’t do something obscenely idiotic like try and sacrifice yourself thank the Maker for that…” and Alistair is there, nervously sweating, looking for an exit, loosening his collar etc.

As they settle back into their old routines Alistair will occasionally blurt out things like, “I really like having breakfast with you,” and then berate himself internally for how trite that sounds but Celia replies on cue, “I love waking up next to you and the way you groan when you stretch your back out and the way you check your hair twice before you leave the room and the way you complain if I don’t eat my crusts and the way you still hold my hand when we’re walking...” and basically they’re just blissfully happy being comfortably domestic and even as they get older they are forever just teenagers in love.

The Wardens at Amaranthine acquire/receive a griffon egg and the hatchling imprints on Alistair and decides he is their mother. It can’t cope with separation, crying constantly if Alistair goes out of sight, and won’t let anyone else feed or handle it so Alistair carries them in a sling 24/7. He gets to give orders and run training sessions with the tiny griffon occasionally poking its head out just to glare at everyone.

Whenever the baby griffon squeaks, Alistair automatically replies, “Well said,” or “Excellent point, Ser Beaksly” with a totally straight face.

For the first few months, Celia gets nipped or scratched if she approaches Alistair unless he wraps the griffon up. It so badly wants to fight her. Celia is permitted to sleep in her own bed, as long as the griffon sleeps curled on Alistair’s chest and Celia doesn't try anything outrageous like touching her husband even fleetingly. It gets a little frustrating as the months drag on, but the image of Alistair with the sling over his armour, or with the griffon snuggling possessively around his neck staring daggers at everyone, is so entertaining that Celia can’t get truly annoyed about it. As the griffon gets older it does learn to tolerate other people and becomes more independent but remains very protective of Alistair and favours him above all others. Insert the ‘Ah yes. Me. My husband. And his thousand pound murder-bird-cat child’ meme here.

Modern AU Bonus Round

They share headphones while commuting.

They occasionally end up wearing sort of matching outfits, mostly unintentionally.

They consistently refer to their dog, Trevor, as their son to the point that people who aren’t familiar with them assume that they actually have a child.