#(and also he just genuinely finds transplants annoying)

[hibiscuslynx]

washington and california are the same person in different fonts and thats half of why washington hates california so much ❤️❤️ the other half is the transplants.

[wiihtigo]

6 and 7 for casey and also 20 :)c

Ask game

6. What catalyzed their introduction to the plot?

True to her rotten soul, she was summoned to the plot in vp by discourse and disorder in the family. She comes around during a point when Michelle is starting to get sudden positive public attention as goldstar, and since boosters been mostly out of public eye since starting to be the silent protector of the time stream, she’s treated as something of a big new breakout sensation (they’re bored as fuck in metropolis)

Michelle is dealing with some inner turmoil and fighting with booster which she’s been keeping under wraps cuz she’s gods strongest soldier but she sees the attention on goldstar as a way to break away from it all and gain some independence and also as a sort of petty bite back at her brother who is being very annoying at the moment warning her about the dangers of stardom. As if he’s so smart. DIE. She starts spending more time as goldstar the superhero and less as goldstar the time master and is fighting a lot with booster, so she starts looking for her own place and wants to start at university and do all these things for herself (we’re so proud of her. I mean I am. FUCK BOOSTER GOLD) and CUE….. CASEY WILKES

Michelle is enrolled in uni, but she’s still living in the time lab and her brother is driving her fckn crazy every time she’s home. And she’s having trouble adjusting to sxhool life (I imagined she didn’t attend college like booster did, and just kept working out of highschool all the way up till she was dragged into the past) And as if drawn magnetically towards someone else who wants to kill MJ Carter, she and Casey have a chance encounter at a cafe near school and they chat a little. Casey tells Michelle she goes to the university near here too. That’s crazy. We have so much in common! Eventually while talking it turns to venting cuz Michelle was looking a little miserable before they started talking and she accidentally lets boosters name slip in convo. And Casey’s like 🙂 oh thats 🙂 that’s an interesting name. And btw you look. A little familiar? [MR KRAAAAABS I HAVE AN IDEAAAAAA] so from then Casey latches onto her like a leech and eventually gets the confirmation this was destiny and I can’t believe this is BOOSTER GOLDS (I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD) TWIN SISTER. AND SHES MAD AT HIM? THIS IS PERFECT

And then.. well that’s more middle of the story stuff. And this was asking about her introduction! (Her relationship with Michelle is interesting to me because aside from the friendship betrayal stuff it’s a rare case of her being weirdly friendly- at least by her standards)

7. What attribute of them (some facet of their personality, their history, their look, or whatever etc) would you find most important to somehow preserve if they were transplanted to an AU fanfic?

This is something Marty and I entertain ourselves with a lot actually wondering what fandom perception of Casey and nell would be… in a series bible id include things like… she’s genuinely not insecure. Like at all. Her attitude isn’t masking a tortured soul inside she’s just like that, she’s selfish and thoughtless and delusional. Her childhood was objectively difficult but she really has no complaints about the way she was raised or with her mother. She has her problems sure but they’re in other areas.. you’re looking in the wrong place! She also doesn’t really get .. sad? Often or at all? She’s more likely to feel anger than sadness. And also o feel it’s important to realize how monumentally difficult it is to form a relationship with her IF THATS SOMETHING YOU WANTED FOR SOME REASON. Literallt every relationship she has has been based on her thinking she could manipulate the other for something and then it either morphed into Ok I don’t hate seeing you even without anything to gain or morphed into attempted homicide. The illusion of free choice

20. Free Space #2: Which of your OCs would you most like to meet in person, if they could become real (or you could visit them) for a day?

Oh god. Not Casey. All my ocs are kind of annoying in some way.

Maybe Cain cuz he’s a normal polite boy. I’d ask him to show me his pop two extra arms out of his ribs trick and then id go ewwww lol and ask him to leave

[piglet26]

What I loved about Thor: L&T

Where do I start? Cause I loved it hell I've seen it twice. Yes, it could have been 30 minutes longer. I'm ignoring the obvious media campaign against (Rotten Tomatoes Seriously?! Who cares?)  and the UTube reviewer bro squad that's disappointed it's not the "R" word all over again. Like damn, get over it! 

Jane! Jane is the heart and soul of this movie. Sadly, it became obvious that no director with the exception of Kenneth from Thor 1 was interested in developing her character. Like no one! Not the Russos, not Joss Whedon, not Alan Taylor and not Marvel. You give me a legend and I’d find something to do with her but that's just me *checks nails* So someone send Taika a fruit basket! In phase 1,2,3 female characters were underdeveloped plot devices (See Black Widow) Jane is someone you want to root for! We see her not only be vulnerable and weak but strong and loyal. We see her fight two battles, one against cancer and one against Gorr. You wanted her to survive and to live on to fight with Thor. When she died people in the theater cried and people were genuinely upset/shocked that she died. That’s a hero regardless of gender. Thor loses yet another person and this time it’s the love of his life. She also doesn’t receive a personality transplant; she's still the same space chick just muscled. Jane wasn’t just ill, she also looked ill and it was great! She didn’t have to look like a model all the time. I loved Jane fighting with Mew-Mew. The general consensus? Everyone wanted more of her story. 

Fosterson? Thane? Thor and Jane. I’m here for it!  I always liked them together but now I'm shipping them. She didn’t replace Thor as people feared. It wasn’t a passing of the hammer. They were truly equals. He protected her and she protected him. They both brought their individual strengths to the story. The entire world seemed to want to know why they broke up and that got answered in a realistic way. Watching them in love in their montage was cute! I appreciate that Taika was very aware of the criticism towards the couple. Yes, they are different but it works!  General consensus? We wanted more of them. 

Christian freaking Bale as Gorr the God Butcher. Wow. What an actor. He spooked me out and yet I delighted in him. He was born out of rage and heartbreak. I was hoping he would be in at least two movies. He’s a compelling character. Loved that he and Jane had their fatal parallels. Fate answered them with weapons. Jane got Mew-Mew and Gorr got the necrosword. Where Mew-Mew gave Jane agency and the power to do good. The necrosword was a tool for Gorr’s grief and revenge. General consensus? We would have wanted this parallel to be explored more. 

The battle in the shadow realm was stunning! I’m actually really annoyed it wasn’t longer. I know it was longer because it had more violence and that was something that had to be cut down on. General consensus? We wanted more. 

Valkyrie and Jane! This little friendship was cute, and I liked it. Valkyrie didn’t annoy me which was surprising. She annoyed me in Ragnarok (Yes, I know I’m one of the minorities) 

The music choices were surprising, and I really liked them. As someone who lived for G&R it was great. I love the 80s. I love that the 80s are having a revival. 

This film has some pretty ballsy themes like loss of faith, increase in worshiping celebrity heroes, nihilism, making the most of your life and courage in the face of mortality. It’s a marvel summer blockbuster movie; they aren’t going to go fully into it. I’m still impressed.

[heretherebedork]

okay so I'm new to the bl world and I found your blog a while ago so I wanted to ask you if you could recommend a top10 of the BLs that you've watched. like, which series are the best of the genre? (hope this ask isn't annoying but I really want to start with the best ones)

Okay!

Hi! Welcome to this wild and wide world of BL!

You have asked me a difficult question and I love you for it.

@absolutebl has a fantastic list that I can't find because tumblr organizes things so badly and uselessly.

But to say the best of the best, a top ten of just... really good BL?

Let me try.

(No, seriously, AbsoluteBL has done this for just about every country except Vietnam because they basically -have- like ten BLS and you should be checking them out and looking for their lists!)

ANYWAY. In no particular order...

1. 1000 Stars is just the pinnacle. It's amazing and perfect, slow burn with deep plot and an amazing story and romance and characters and depth. Seriously. I cannot say enough how this is absolutely amazing. A young man's life is saved by a heart transplant but he finds himself aimless and useless until he follows in the path of the woman who's heart was placed in his chest and meets a forest ranger who captures that same heart.

2. Until We Meet Again is amazing and deep and desperate and beautiful and comes with HUGE warnings for suicide and homophobia and death. Absolutely fantastic but HEED THE WARNINGS. Reincarnation leads to new lovers meeting but the past will always catch in the end and memories are never truly forgotten.

3. He's Coming To Me is also fantastic. Also involves death and murder. A ghost who doesn't know why he's still haunting his grave meets a boy who can see ghosts and wants to help him... but they fall in love along the way.

4. Cherry Magic is an amazing and soft BL out of Japan. Absolutely HIGHLY recommend as a good starting point. Adachi turns 30 as a virgin and gains the ability to read minds... leading to him discovering that a handsome and seemingly perfect coworker, Kurosawa, is in love with him.

5. Color Rush is an absolutely fantastic Korean BL that is basically a gorgeous metaphor for coming out in a homophobic society and involves the idea of monos (people who see the world in shades of grey) and probes (who allow their specific mono to see the world in full color).

6. Light On Me is basically the greatest love triangle yet and absolutely darling. A young man who doesn't think he needs friends is convinced to join the student council... where he meets two boys he could love and who both love him in return. A great story. A+

7. We Best Love 1+2 is just an amazing story, despite me not loving 2 as much, I see the whole story and most people love the entire thing. It's a love story between a man who'd rather pine than admit his love and tsundere who hides the softest, neediest center of all time. Genuinely fantastic acting and chemistry.

8. HIStory 2 Right or Wrong and Crossing the Line, just the entirety of HIStory 2 is fantastic and a great place to just enjoy some good chemistry. Crossing the Line is a soft sports romance about the good boy post-injury sports kid and the bad boy who discovers he's got a lot of hero worship love in him. Right or Wrong is about a student who finds out that his teacher isn't a great dad... and helps him become one. Absolutely darling and Taiwan's first flexing of their marriage muscles.

9. Guardian is a censored romance from China but it's so barely censored and I love it so much that I put it on this list. There's a paranormal police squad, basically X-Men mutants and wild adventures as well as my favorite side couple of ALL TIME.

10. Gaya Sa Pelikula (Like in the Movies) is a very queer-centric BL about fake dating, coming out, staying in the closet, being yourself, trust, distrust and general pain.

This list was rough for me, honestly. So many of my favorites aren't... actually the ones that are the best? My taste is eccentric and even kinda... bad.

But that's okay!

Enjoy!

[jade-marie]

I didn't watch episode 4 but I saw gifs of Beth yelling at Jane and it got me thinking, what's your view on the Boland kids not being parented?

Lmao you love getting me in trouble🤣

Sorry. It got long but I could rant about this for weeks.

Pre canon and S1

Obviously, we don’t see anything pre canon when it comes to the Boland kids, but you can put together an idea of what their situation was like from the first few episodes. Beth was a SAHM - she made them fancy packed lunches for school, had them enrolled in extra curricular activities, dropped them off/picked them up from school, put them to bed, got them ready etc. She was the main caregiver and Dean was at work. When he came home, he got to be the fun dad.

It seems like they had a decent amount of structure, as far as schedules go, but they’ve never been given any responsibility and didn’t appear to be well disciplined. We had Kenny telling Beth she sucked at math in s1 - something I certainly wouldn’t have gotten away with. Anyway, they had a decent amount of structure and stability, they were used to things being a certain way and that was all disrupted when Dean was kicked out of the house. Then suddenly, Dean was back, but he was sharing a bedroom with Kenny. It doesn’t seem like any of this was really explained to the kids properly or that they were helped through the process, which can have some knock-on effects. 

Throughout Season 2

First episode of S2, Dean was shot. The kids were told that he was mugged and were, understandably, shaken up by the whole thing. Once again, nobody truly comforted or helped them through this process and we started to see the fallout of that. Kenny essentially developed an eating disorder and started bingeing, Jane “ran away from home”. But again, nothing is done about it. Beth says they need to be more present, no phones at dinner, they look into a child therapist, but we don’t ever hear about the kids actually getting therapy even though they desperately need it.

Throughout the season, the structure that they still had in S1 rapidly disappears. It goes from Beth being the main caregiver to her handing the reigns over to Dean in 2.05 and he doesn’t do a good job of it. The house becomes a mess, the kids run wild. This would be a perfect opportunity to start giving the older children some chores, helping to re-introduce structure, but it doesn’t happen. From the kids perspectives, they would notice their mother becoming more and more absent from their lives, missing dance recitals, coming home late, missing dinner, missing bedtime and so Dean is becoming the consistent parent (important for later).

Dean decides to weaponise the children, taking them away from Beth and going to stay with his mother for a while, before going back home. Beth and Dean tell the kids that they’re going to be getting a divorce, obviously that doesn’t happen, again creating quite an unstable environment for them. Effectively, they have a roof over their heads and they’re being fed/clothed, but nobody is actually parenting them. 

Throughout Season 3

At the beginning of S3, with the dealership gone and Beth no longer working for Rio, they have significantly less money. It’s not clear how much of a knock-on effect this had on their extra curricular activities because Jane still has her piano lessons and Kenny has hockey. Beth’s taking them to the park a lot, it’s also not clear whether this is simply because she’s stalking Rhea and Marcus or genuinely because the park is a free activity for them. Regardless, they’ve been going to the park enough that it’s no longer fun. The kids really don’t seem to have any structure anymore and, once again, it doesn’t seem like they’ve been receiving any emotional support during what would be a challenging time for any child. 

Dean has gone back to work, Beth is now also working, so Judith steps in to help take care of the kids. She takes things a little bit far, which pisses off Beth, so Judith is quickly removed from the equation. Again - instability. Then we have the fallout between Rhea and Beth, which means Jane can no longer play with her best friend Marcus for (at least from her perspective) absolutely no reason. Again – instability. Fast forward a few weeks, the entire house is emptied so the kids have to go and stay with Judith for an unspecified amount of time. Again – instability. We can play the blame game to decide who is the cause of this instability, but it’s pretty irrelevant. The fact is, the kids lives are being shaken up and nobody is helping them through it.

Beth buys new furniture, the kids come home, it all seems great, and then Dean gets arrested. So now their dad ,who has been the more consistent parent in their lives for the last year, is out of the picture. Once again, nobody is really offering them support during this time. We see Jane asking for her dad, we see the kids talking about how Dean lets them eat by the TV, because they’re missing things which have been consistent for them, and then we finally get to Janes little stand-off with Beth over the remote control.

That is quite clearly the result of her emotional needs going unmet for God knows how long, so she’s acting like a brat. Instead of taking care of and supporting her child, Beth lashes out. I find the editing choice to mute the yelling and playing music over the scene annoying, because it lightens it quite a bit. It’s pretty obvious that Beth was wildly over reacting to the situation, because she was lashing out at a child over things that had nothing to do with Jane. She was stressed about Dean, she was stressed about Fitzpatrick‘s upcoming murder and taking that out on a kid. Yeah, she felt bad and gave her a hug after, but you’ve still got 3/4 kids (is Kenny coming back??) who’ve been emotionally neglected for at least a year. 

Beth’s kids compared to Annie/Ben

We don’t really see a lot of Ben‘s relationship with Greg, it doesn’t seem like he’s a particularly bad parent in any way, Nancy is probably a bit neurotic, but nothing major. Annie, is pretty emotionally stunted and immature, she puts way too much responsibility on Ben, so it’s the complete opposite of Beth. Ben is effectively the grown-up in their relationship, he leaves reminders for his mother to make sure shit gets dealt with and any structure Ben has is structure he’s created for himself.

But at the same time, he trusts his mother and when something is bothering him he actually talks to her. We saw him come out to Annie before Greg and Nancy, he told Annie when he was being bullied. As he gets older, you can see him growing tired of parenting his mother, but I think she’s learning from her mistakes by recognising the way they’ve impacted her son.  I think it’s also important to remember that Ben has been largely unaffected by Annies criminal activities, this is predominantly because she has a shitload of baggage to deal with. 

Beth’s kids compared to Ruby and her kids

As a whole, Ruby‘s kids have been relatively unaffected by her criminal activities. It doesn’t look like they ever had a rigourous schedule of extracurricular activities, but they’ve always had a stable home life. Not financially well off, but happy. We’ve always seen them be respectful, they have boundaries with their parents, they don’t particularly misbehave etc. They just appear to be good kids with good parents. They witnessed Stan being arrested and Sara especially took that quite hard, but she was supported through it. It’s also quite clear that she’s had a good emotional support system throughout her illness and kidney transplant. When she found out that Ruby was up to something shady in S3 and their relationship became strained as a result, she spoke to her mother in a way which was disrespectful, eventually that behaviour was checked. Because Ruby and Stan parent their children.

Beth’s kids compared to Rio/Marcus

From the very first time we were introduced to Marcus, we’ve seen that he’s very polite, very well-balanced and has a good relationship with his dad. We’ve seen Rio patiently instil important lessons in his son, such as cleaning up his messes, being patient and waiting his turn - things which Beth’s kids still don’t understand.

For the most part, Marcus seems to be pretty well shielded from Rio’s criminal activities, which is why I think Marcus was so heavily affected by his dads absence in S3. But, unlike the Boland children, he was emotionally supported through the process by his mother. He went to her for comfort and he received it. When Rio isn’t around, Rhea appears to pick up the slack and ensure Marcus still has some stability.

I think they’ve deliberately contrasted Beth’s kids with the other children on the show. Her children are the only ones who seem to be truly feeling the effects of choices she’s made during the course of the series. She claims to be doing all of this for her kids, but is completely ignorant to the fact that her choices are hurting them. This isn’t me bashing her character or saying she’s a shitty mom because I don’t like her, this is just stating what’s happening on the screen and right now, whether or not it’s deliberate, she’s being a shitty parent. Dean has always been a shitty parent. So now those kids don’t have anyone😕

[spikeface]

(consider this more of a writing prompt than a request) I tried to read Theo Raeken's fandom wiki but couldn't get a sense of him. Can you sell him qua OC? Who is he? What does he want? What does he fear? What are the worst things he's done and what internal logic did that run on? In what ways has he been heroic, even if it may have been unrecognizable to others as such? (Concretely I'm hoping to read any answer and launch into reading fic about him)

This is still a sketch. Canon leaves a lot of lacunae around Theo, so I play with them, but this is one version:

Theo’s childhood leaves him a twisted shell of a person. He’s pushed by the evil scientists who kidnap him and make him their servant (for convoluted plot reasons) to commit horrible acts, beginning with the death of his sister when he’s ten years old. His exact involvement in her death is not clear from the canon. He stands over her, very still, and watches her die, but it’s not clear if he coldly killed her or was simply a drugged victim of the scientists, who mess with people’s perception of reality. My headcanon, based on other canon references, is that the scientists, who are obsessed with creating “the perfect evil,” also push him to kill his parents and eat human flesh, and do lots of other awful things that he pretends don’t haunt him so he doesn’t go mad. Theo is very good at pretending, and learns to stifle his feelings to the point that he can really only be honest about them when he’s actively lying about something else. When he lies to the sheriff about witnessing a murder, for instance, he indirectly acts out his grief over the death of his sister as he chokes out, “I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything.”

After eight years with the evil scientists, he’s a wicked little gremlin. He’s a practiced liar and manipulator, whose speciality is to push people to embrace their darkest urges. When we meet him, he’s trying to turn Scott’s pack as dark as he is, to retroactively justify his own acts to himself, and to make it more certain that the pack will accept him for who he truly is. Theo wants very, very badly to be accepted. Part of it is personal, after a lonely life of being the scientists’ Igor, filled with self-loathing for the things he’s done. Part of it is also pragmatic; as the scientists grow closer to success (resurrecting an evil monster, don’t ask) they have less and less use for him. The scientists kill things they have no use for--failures. Theo isn’t a failure, but he’s not quite a success either, in the scientists’ eyes. Theo is petrified of failure, and the scientists. He wants the safety a powerful pack will provide. The stark difference in power between him and the scientists has led him to equate power and safety.

He works on corrupting all of Scott’s pack members, but focuses his efforts on Malia, Stiles, and Liam. He pushes Malia to try to kill her mother. If she does, no one could judge him for killing his own parents. He pushes Stiles to destroy his friendship with Scott. Stiles looks out for Scott the same way Theo’s sister looked out for him—if he’s actually terrible, deep down, then maybe his sister was too. Then no one could judge him for watching her die. With Liam, his goal is more cathartic. He wants Liam to lash out furiously at Scott for refusing to bite someone, especially when refusing means someone’s death.

Though Theo can pass for a werewolf, he’s actually a weak mockery of one, the result of the scientists’ surgeries rather than being bitten. It’s why his sister needed to die, her heart a necessary organ transplant before the scientists could begin their surgeries (show logic, don’t ask). Theo hates them for it, though he’s suppressed that emotion as a survival tactic while living under their cruel thumb. He tells himself he’s embraced their philosophy of experiments with the supernatural, but deep down is the plaintive question he had as a small, confused child: why didn’t they just make him a real werewolf? He would have been stronger, faster, better in every way than this half-thing they made him. He could have just been bitten, instead of all that surgery.

They wouldn’t have had to kill his sister, if they’d just made him a real werewolf.

Scott is the only one whom Theo can’t corrupt. He’s everything Theo isn’t: powerful, honest, accepted, not only a real werewolf but a special one. Unlike every other Alpha in existence—and Theo—he got his werewolf powers without anyone needing to die for it. Theo is obsessed with him. He needs to destroy him. He does.

Scott uses his dying breath to tell Theo that his pack will never accept him. Infuriatingly, he’s right.

He also comes back from the dead, which complicates Theo’s plans even further.

Theo makes his own pack of people he brings back from the dead. They’re all experiments the scientists no longer had any use for, which Theo hates as a potential reflection of himself, but they seem easy to control. He tries to make them embrace their darkest urges. He’s not quite successful. It doesn’t help that, in a bid for more power, Theo captures an Alpha named Deucalion, who is working to sabotage Theo as a favor to Scott. Deucalion drives some of Theo’s pack away, and shows Theo how to consume others for power. Faced with the choice between a pack and power, Theo chooses power. In the end, he consumes even Tracy, the one person who does actually accept Theo, for who he truly is, lovingly and unconditionally.

Theo is now very powerful. He’s also completely alone, having broken even with the scientists. He’s wretched. He hates Scott more than ever. He tries to kill him and his pack again—and finds himself promptly sent to a hellscape by one of Scott’s pack, where he wakes up to find his sister waiting for him, ready to rip his heart out, again and again and again.

Things get interesting when Liam brings him back from hell, hoping some of the powers he consumed will help them with their current crisis. Over the course of months in hell, however, Theo’s extra powers have been stripped away, along with his smug artifice and his will to live. When Malia starts to beat him to death in a fit of rage, he simply lets her, the same way he eventually simply let his sister take his heart over and over. He recovers from his hell-induced despair enough to try to manipulate and negotiate and generally gremlin his way to safety, but it’s clear he has no idea what to do beyond that. As the one who brought him back from hell, Liam feels responsible for him, which to him means making sure Theo isn’t a threat, bullying him into being helpful, hitting him when he’s being annoying, and offering genuine friendship to Theo if he does actually help. Theo alternates between coldly telling Liam that he’ll leave him for dead the first chance he gets, and almost compulsively saving Liam’s life. He also hits Liam, when he thinks he can get away with it. He’s never had a friend before.

After that crisis is over, Theo languishes. For the first time in his life, no one is telling him what to do. There’s nothing to prompt him to try to find power or a pack, or anything else he once failed at completely. He’s also homeless. And alone. When something creepy and supernatural happens to him in the middle of the night, the only person he can think to call is Scott—but he doesn’t, held back by shame. He remains, in my humble opinion, quite obsessed with Scott. I’m tipping my shipper hand here, but I think what was once the desire to destroy Scott has become the desire to have… something else from him. Not just forgiveness. Theo’s not sure what. It’s been a long time since he was honest with himself about what he feels. He’s working on it.

He chooses to stay in Beacon Hills. Mostly, he continues to lie and push, but he does it to help the pack--particularly Liam, who needs a lot of help with the same anger Theo once exploited. His most redemptive moment is when he chooses to ease a dying enemy’s pain, one of his first completely unselfish acts of kindness. The show ends with him as an “ally.”

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Final Fantasy V Review

Year: 1992

Original Platform: Super Nintendo

Also available on: PlayStation One (Final Fantasy Anthology), Game Boy Advance, Steam (updated graphics)

Version I Played: Game Boy Advance

Synopsis:

Bartz is a drifter, riding across the world with his chocobo – Boko. One day, the wind seems to fall. Lenna’s father, the king of Tycoon, goes off to make sure the Wind Crystal is all right, but doesn’t return. Meanwhile, a meteorite falls. Lenna and Bartz check it out separately, where they find each other and a man named Galuf with amnesia. Together they figure out that the world is falling apart – the crystals that drive wind, fire, earth and water are dying out. They stumble upon a pirate hideout led by Faris, and together they seek to restore the world and uncover the mysterious forces behind the destruction of the crystals.

Background:

Once again, this Final Fantasy game was originally unreleased outside of Japan. Unlike II and III, the developers thought that the game was a different tone than the others and the vast job system would be too complicated for Western audiences. The West didn’t experience Final Fantasy V until 1999 with Playstation One’s Final Fantasy Anthology; a compilation of both V and VI. One notable change from the Japanese version is the name Bartz. The original name for Bartz in the Japanese release was translated as Butz, but because Americans are immature and laugh at such a name, they changed it in the localization to Bartz.

Gameplay:

Holy capitalism, Batman – so many jobs!

Not only that, but each job has abilities that you can mix and match! Every time you level up a job, you earn a new ability for that job. You can switch those abilities across jobs.

The possibilities are seemingly endless!

The gameplay is the most fun I had with customization in a while in any video game RPG. The best part is that the Job System is so rewarding by the time you reach the third act of the game. It gives you such a variety that it allows you to approach battles from many different angles. There’s no one way to be a badass and deal destructive damage.

It’s so much fun that once a year, Final Fantasy V gamers join in “Final Fantasy Five Four Job Fiesta”. It’s a challenge where you are randomly assigned four jobs in the game and have to finish the game ONLY with those four jobs. I’ve joined in the challenge myself and it’s a great way to come together with Final Fantasy players.

I had fun unlocking the legendary weapons and hunting down the most powerful summons - this time naturally without looking anything up. I find it interesting to say that I had legit fun hunting down all the extras. Sometimes in other Final Fantasy games I get weary over hunting for some extra, higher powered spells and summons. I sometimes even wonder if I should bother going after them. The vast Job System in Final Fantasy V keeps you occupied for the entire game and more. I finished the game and there are still some jobs that I haven't even touched. Luckily, the Game Boy Advance version adds some extra dungeons after you complete the game.

Graphics:

The sprites in this game look a bit rough around the edges. They also come off as too small in my opinion. The same is said of the Game Boy Advance version. Regardless, it now looks like an actual SNES game. Unlike Final Fantasy IV, it has more color, structure, and doesn’t look faded.

Something irked me though about the sounds. I never have anything bad to say about the sound effects, but for some reason, in this game, the battle sound effects were meek. Even when someone had a sword, the attack sounded puny.

The PlayStation One version has an FMV sequence that look awkward and ugly as fuck, just like the FMV sequence for the PlayStation One version of Final Fantasy IV. As much as I love Yoshitaka Amano, trying to transplant his style into 3D is not a good idea.

Story:

The story transcends that of Final Fantasy IV. Where Final Fantasy IV can feel weak or simple at times, Final Fantasy V delivers a strong, emotionally charged storyline.

It starts simple. Once again, the world is in danger because the crystals are in danger – but this time because humans are misusing their power and breaking them. So this is a rare Final Fantasy game without any evil empires or rebellions.

Out of all the Final Fantasy games, I had heard the least about what happens in V. Heck – I knew more about II before going into it, mostly because of what people said about the Star Wars parallels. It’s been a long time since I went into a Final Fantasy game completely blind. I kept it that way and was very pleasantly surprised.

I can see what the developers meant by a “change in tone.” Final Fantasy V is probably the funniest of them all. It’s not campy – just humorous. Galuf loves to share puns. Bartz can be a klutz. The characters bicker a lot during their journey. One part actually made me genuinely laugh out loud when you are in a certain underground place searching for clues:

Despite the lighter tone, each character has a pretty sensitive, delicate backstory. I cared for Bartz’s personal history with his parents. I worried about whether Lenna’s father would die or not. I wondered what Galuf forgot and who Faris really was. There are dashes of tropes here but none of them stand out too much. You have to remember that tropes themselves are not inherently bad – what matters is how you utilize them. There’s no hokey romantic subplot thrown in either, which is extremely rare in a JRPG.

It was so rewarding to go into it blind because there was even a shocking death. I thought maybe they would be all right in the end through some Disney cop out.

No. That person is dead. Dead as a door nail. Never coming back. I also enjoyed the bit where they tried to revive said dead person with spells and phoenix downs. They finally imply that there can be a point where someone can go beyond and it’s too late to bring them back.

The henchman Gilgamesh is very memorable and lovable, probably the most memorable character of the entire game. He serves as great comic relief while not being at all annoying. I kept hoping he would show up.

My only real complaint, if I’m ever forced to say anything bad, is that Boko wasn’t really an asset in the story, at least not as much as I assumed he would be.

The story is unfortunately very overlooked. I can understand that maybe at the time American and other Western gamers may have found the third act strange – especially after learning about the villain Exdeath’s true nature. Compared to the other Final Fantasy backstories, it’s a little out there, and something tells me it relates to Japanese mythology. But today? You’d be sorry to miss out on it.

Music:

Final Fantasy V’s main theme is somewhat reminiscent of Final Fantasy IV’s main theme. They have this melodic soaring feel with a continuous beat. “The Four Warriors of Dawn” in Final Fantasy V is reminiscent of “Red Wings” in IV. Meanwhile, the biggest and most interesting display is “Battle with Gilgamesh”. (sometimes titled “Clash/Battle on the Big Bridge”). The piece opens up with some intense drumming. While the later orchestrations and adaptations of “Battle with Gilgamesh” are pretty good, nothing seems to capture the tempo and umph of the original.

“Dear Friends” is probably the most endearing tune in the soundtrack. It’s played at the end and gives a really bittersweet feel. The Distant Worlds concert version is extremely bittersweet. It has a sweet, gentle guitar, and it reminds me of how Uematsu said one of his inspirations was Simon and Garfunkel. “Dear Friends” definitely has that folk tune.

Exdeath’s theme song gives a heavy rock vibe. That heavy rock vibe was last heard in the opening segment of the final boss fight in Final Fantasy IV. The rest of the score has a lot of drumming incorporated, partially due to the fact that pirates are involved in most of the plot. Ultimately, this Final Fantasy score broke out all of Uematsu’s classic and hard rock inspirations – and it’s fucking awesome.

Notable Theme:

“Battle with Gilgamesh”

I have replayed this song over a thousand times by now.

Verdict:

Definite must-play. It’s the most underrated Final Fantasy game. The Kob System can be overwhelming, especially if you have never played a Final Fantasy game before. I wouldn’t suggest playing this for beginners – more after you get your hands wet.

Direct Sequel?

Yes. And No.

While not a video game, Final Fantasy V did receive an anime sequel titled Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals. It’s technically the first sequel to a Final Fantasy game. The anime is set 200 years in the future, with the heroes of the original game having become legend. Critical reception of the miniseries was mixed.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Thoughts on the two 8 Out of 10 Cats episodes that have aired since the pandemic started (s22e08, a Christmas special; and s22e09):

-Obviously, we have to address the weirdness of how these episodes were clearly filmed pre-COVID. No social distancing among the cast or, more importantly, the audience. Also Maisie Adam had all her hair and Jimmy Carr had not done whatever he did with his hair in 2020 (I still don’t know exactly what that is, I know he had some sort of transplant but haven’t specifically seen pictures, I guess I’ll find out how looks at the 2020 Big Fat Quiz).

I realize most non-topical shows were filmed long before they air. I assume that’s why 8 Out of 10 Cats stopped being a topical show a few years ago; it’s easier to film a bunch of episodes at once and air them whenever than to have to film and air week by week. Normally this is not a big deal. Even if we only had the regular episodes coming out now, it would look a little weird to have no social distancing but the audience would understand that it was filmed earlier in the year. Like with the Catsdown episodes that came out in August but were clearly filmed in late 2019, based on Rachel still being pregnant and the lack of COVID.

The weird thing is when you call one of those episodes the 2020 Christmas special. It was vaguely surreal to watch that, like it was the Christmas special of a 2020 that took place in some alternate dimension where we all had a normal year. Normally you could get away with filming a Christmas special ten months early (apparently it was filmed in February 2020) because Christmas is basically the same every year. But that does not work in 2020. Honestly, I’m surprised they aired it. I’m surprised they didn’t try to film a socially distanced Christmas special later in 2020, or just not air one at all.

It was actually sort of cool to see this weird episode from an alternate dimension. Like a look at how life could have been; how we could have spent the end of 2020 talking about how annoying it is to have to spend Christmas with our extended family.

-Continuing with the theme of 8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas specials somehow existing outside our own dimension and therefore being immune to changes in our reality, I do find it funny how they have asked the exact same questions at every Christmas special over the years. They always ask what the best things are about Christmas. They always have the same conversations about turkey dinners and gifts and Christmas TV and advertising and spending time with family. No intention of changing it, I assume.

-The dynamic between Rob Beckett and Tom Allen is so much fun. They are a pair of people who have the good rapport that comes from genuinely getting along (or at least doing a good impression of two people who genuinely get along). I’m such a sucker for “unlikely” friendships between different types of people. Also, given that they apparently went to the same school, if I am understanding British culture correctly, that means one of them is faking their accent, right? I assume it’s Tom.

-Also, I don’t know if I’ve given enough credit before to how good a dynamic there is between Rob Beckett and Katherine Ryan. They play off each other quite well.

-I like Maisie Adam better every time I see her.

-Remember that time when Ed Gamble made a joke about his mom’s vagina being like a sad bucket of chicken, then halfway through the joke he clearly realized what he was saying and changed his mind about saying it and kind of trailed off but it was too late to not say it? I used to watch intelligent television shows, you know. I was able to wrap my head around quite a few of the concepts in complex sci-fi dramas like Westworld and Orphan Black.

-8 Out of 10 Cats is really not as good a show as it used to be, but contrary to what the YouTube commenters think, that isn’t because Sean and Jon left and got replaced by all these women and people of colour and LGBT people and even some people who are two or three of the above. I mean, obviously Sean and Jon were great. And I’d be quite disappointed about not getting to see them since they left 8 Out of 10 Cats, if it weren’t for the fact that Catsdown has a huge number of episodes and will presumably make more so we can still see them any time we like. And the new captains of 8 Out of 10 Cats have been great fun. Aisling Bea and Katherine Ryan are good at what they do and fit the format well. And even if you do believe straight white dudes are the only people who can make good comedy, how could anyone complain about having more Rob Beckett in the (public) world?

8 Out of 10 Cats is not as good as it used to be because it went from being a somewhat topical show to the hodge-podge it is now of whatever they’ve decided to throw at the wall an in an effort to appeal to the youth. Which mostly consists of YouTube clips and electrocuting people. Seriously, there has been a weird amount of electrocuting people in the last few seasons. It makes me wonder if those things they use to shock each other were just really expensive and they want to get their money’s worth. That or Jimmy Carr has a fetish for being able to shock people. Both are possible.

Not that I’m trying to romanticize 8 Out of 10 Cats of previous years as some paragon of intellectual social commentary. I know far more than I’ve ever wanted to know about British reality television, and I know that because of 8 Out of 10 Cats episodes that aired during the Sean and Dave/Jason/Jon eras. But it used to be more about talking about stuff, even if that stuff was a reality dance competition, and that gave the comedians more of a chance to shine and show off their banter. Rather than whatever weird gimmicks have infested the show now.

But despite all that, I’m going to watch the new episode that airs this Sunday. I’m going to watch any new episodes they make. Because the show hasn’t become 100% YouTube clips and weird games; there’s still banter among the comedians and that’s still good. Also, watching Rob Beckett get electrocuted while Jimmy Carr cackles like an actual sadist is, in fact, pretty funny. But if they’re going to air a bunch more episodes in early 2021, I’m going to have to do something with my TV-watching schedule that means I’m not regularly watching 8 Out of 10 Cats at the same time as I’m regularly watching Never Mind the Buzzcocks. I can only do so much absolutely junk TV at a time.

[vcg73]

Glee Memories

Someone reblogged an old post to which I had contributed this run-down of my entire Glee fan experience. It made me laugh to read it, because I cannot deny ANY of the reactions even now. This is truly what it was like to watch the show in original air date Fox TV real time - endless mid-season hiatuses and all. Reposting just my own section:

Season 1 - SO good and fun! I want to see more of this!  Kurt, I love you. You’re so funny and I especially loved the second half of the season when you started singing solos and being a Cheerio!  Even the characters I didn’t really embrace I still want to learn more about. And the songs, and the hope for next year’s competitions…  Damn you, summer hiatus!

Season 2 - OMG, not as fresh as last year but still some amazing stuff!  Burt and Carole are cute together, though a little oblivious. Why didn’t we ever get any blended Hudmel family scenes?  Especially at Christmas.  *pout* Didn’t care for Kurt being basically sidelined at Dalton Academy for half the season, and his crush is kind of an oblivious jerk, but I have hope. Things much better by the end with Kurt back at McK and no joy to the bullies. Can’t quite make up my mind if I want to forgive Karofsky. He was awful, but also terrified. I’ll make up my mind next year. Aw, Jean Sylvester has died, I liked her.  Finn, a funeral should not inspire you to dump one girl and chase another. You big drip. Too bad about Nationals, but it’s okay that they didn’t go straight to the top. More reason to put out all the stops next year!  I liked this season a lot overall. Damn you, summer hiatus!

Season 3 - What the fuck has happened to this show? Blaine transfers in, acts like a dick, steals opportunities and insults people, but by the end every single character is completely up his ass. Wha-?  Wait, are Finchel a couple again for the 4,869th time, or are they broken up again?  I can’t keep up.  Am I really supposed to care about the suddenly evil Warblers and their smirking meerkat boss? Cause I don’t.  Warbler Council I miss you.  Shue, you’re horrible, get off my screen. Sue, go with him, you’re not funny anymore. Kurt ends up stuck in Lima with no prospects, while Rachel of the world’s worst audition gets his spot at the fancy performing arts school? What the hell!  And what do you mean, he only applied to ONE school, that makes no sense given his historic ambition to escape Lima, and determination to help Finn get out too. Someone at NYADA is a lazy bastard who couldn’t be bothered to send out the acceptance letters until JUNE, so most of their prospectives have probably accepted other offers by now.  This entire season made no sense and left a bad taste in my mouth. Thank God for summer hiatus!

Season 4 - Better in some respects. Really stupid in others. Kurt does an amazing audition and gets a second chance (that he should have had the first time) to get into his school.  I’ll take it.  Blaine, you’re a lying, cheating, selfish sack of shit and I’ve given up hoping you’ll ever improve. Just go away and stop horning in where you don’t belong. Adam Crawford, you’re a cinnamon roll too good for this world, but no way too good for Kurt. :)  I’m not usually a shipper, but you’re forcing me to ship hard.  New Glee Club, your boring clone selves need to step it up and show some originality if you want anyone to like you. Uh, wow, did that nasty Cheerio girl really try to kill the other girl by making her anorexic and totally get away with that with no consequences? Epic fail. Shue, you’re revolting. Oh, Unique. I like you, but why did you leave a star position at Carmel only to be meek about being shoved into the background at McKinley?  Really thought Blaine might get offed in that stink-bomb of a school shooting episode. It would have had emotional resonance for others and retired that character with a shred of dignity. Wasn’t that the point of having people declare Blaine teen angel/Jesus-standin for half the season? But no. Nothing happens and they chuck Becky-used to be cool but now is just super annoying-Jackson under the bus instead. (Also, why did nobody on the New York side even seem to know this headline-making event even happened?) Rachel, taking insensitivity and selfishness to new heights in New York. Why is Kurt suddenly your care-taker and general servant? Blech. Sarah Jessica Parker, completely wasted from great starting potential. Did Sam’s brain fall out in the deep end of the swimming pool and float away? Cause, whoa. Finn? Finn! Pay attention, dude. Cut your losses and go to your classes at Ohio state (or wherever). Burt, thank you for squashing that stupid proposal idea. But where is Adam?  Come back, adorable little cupcake!  Summer hiatus, thank you, I need a break but kinda like where everyone finally ended at the last of this year. This has definite potential.

Season 5 - Dead Finn = sadness. I kind of wish they had just retired him to off screen college somewhere. Wait, what?  God Damn It Writers! You can’t just transplant Finchel’s planned storyline to a totally different couple and expect it to make perfect sense, especially with no work or real character improvement to the horrible hair-gelled menace!  Copy glee club remains boring, and I don’t give a rat’s ass about their wash-rinse-repeat romances or lifeless competition performances. What the heck has happened to the timeline of this show?  Where did Adam go? Oh hey, it’s Demi Lovato and Adam Lambert!  Aww, I really like Elliott. It’s about time Kurt got a genuine friend. Rachel, just go away. I can’t deal with you anymore. Burt has been replaced by a pod-person. Creepy puppets more lifelike than most of their human counterparts by now. One Three Hill, I love you!  But I can already see that this is another great start with soon to be wasted potential when the contracts run out.  Damn it, writers! Don’t put Blaine in NYADA, that makes no sense at all.  If this school was as particular as you claimed, he wouldn’t have even made it to the audition round. Combat Jocks are all hot for Kurt, YESSSS!  Santana, I’ve never liked you because you’re horrid to everyone but you’re finally starting to grow on me a little. Aw, Chris Colfer’s episode plays like old time Glee!  Fun. More, please. Shirley MacLaine gives me the creeps as the old cougar lady. And we’re taking an early hiatus after shedding viewers like snake-skin all season. Can’t say I’m not relieved. I’m determined to see this show through, but my god…  

Season 6 - Only a dozen episodes this year? I can make it.  Ooo, Kurt dumped the albatross and sent him packing. That’s promising.  Rachel’s ego blew up in her face and she’s back in Ohio. Even more promising.  New New Directions, I surprisingly actually like you guys a little, though I liked One Three Hill much better. (And the Apples, whatever happened to those folks?) This could actually end with a bang instead of a whimper!  Aaand, I spoke too soon. Kurt get your cute butt out of Ohio, you can do so much better in New York, preferably single and dating new appreciative men!  Whoa, Sue is full on demented and dangerous this year. Why is she still in a teaching position again? Shue, you’re useless. Get off my screen. Santana previous potential goes right to hell in one fell swoop. Nice briefly knowing you, emotional development. Kurt, I’m serious, go back to NYADA and find whatever locker you left your spine in please. DO NOT take that asshat back for the 8,937th time, please!  He’s not worth it.  You … what …?  Oh my God, he did it, and fucking Dave Karofsky actually helped them along.  *beats head on wall*  No, please tell me everyone isn’t about to bend over backwards to put Rachel back on top of the heap again!  *sigh* That’s it. I’m done. 7 episodes left of this series and I just can’t take it anymore.  The writers-room monkeys have mixed pieces from 10 different puzzles, mashed them into a frame with a mallet, eaten the finished product, shit it into their hands, and tossed it at the few remaining fans still watching through the bars.

And that’s what you (lucky souls) missed on Glee!

[missmonsters2]

The Color of You || Part IV

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader/OFC

Summary: It was another mission Natasha was assigned to. Nothing she hasn’t done before. Same mission, different people. Sent undercover to investigate William Cain, suspect to funding terrorism and smuggling weaponry. Under the disguise of Natanya Rovinski, Natasha is ready for another routine mission. Until she met you, William’s fiancé. 

Warnings: There are dark elements to this series. Also, smut later on. 

Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama, Action

NOTE: Y’all know the drill. Drop a comment to be added to tag list! Also, I wrote this while I was sick, so please ignore any glaringly obvious mistakes LOL

PART I || PART II || PART III

PART IV of X

Count: 2420

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The morning before Natasha was to meet William, she decided to stop by to see you again. Natasha’s not exactly sure what compelled her to do so, but it didn’t settle well with her how things ended last night. 

The maid let Natasha right in, stating once more that William was already gone to work. 

Now, Natasha stood before your studio door again, looking through the glass at your back once more. 

You were painting, working on the same piece you were last time. Whatever it was, you were intensely focusing on it.

Natasha let out a slight huff of breath as she tapped her knuckle lightly against the door.

You jumped slightly and genuinely.

“Come in,” you said, turning your attention to the door. You seemed surprised to see Natasha entered, but your face showed no memories of last night--to Natasha anyways.

“Natanya,” you greeted quietly, and it was then that Natasha finally got a better look at you. 

There were streaks of paint on you again, shades of yellow on your arm and even a stripe on your cheek.

Your hair was in a tied up messy bun, strands falling out and framing your face as you demurely tucked a stray strand behind your ear. 

Natasha missed this look of you. Rather than the fancy dresses and strains of politicians around you, she wanted you to always look like this. 

But when she looked at the oversized men’s shirt on you, she couldn’t help but shirk a little.

And you noticed.

“Is that William’s?” It’s hardly words of greeting, and Natasha feels she might regret hearing the answer, but she can’t help it.

You’re ruining her. 

You look down at your shirt and chuckle lightly.

“No,” you tell her, and Natasha feels the tension in her stomach relax, and it annoys her a little.

“I end up ruining a lot of shirts when I’m painting, so I buy shirts in bulk for cheap,” you explain further, tugging slightly at the hem of your shirt.

Natasha only smiled, eyes flitting over to your painting. 

“Yellow today?” Natasha asks even though it’s clear with the streaks of paint on you.

You nod, looking at your work in progress as well. 

“Tell me something about the color yellow,” Natasha says, falling into habits.

“Other than the obvious things?” You tease her and tilt your head when she chuckles.

“Well,” you start, thinking of what to tell Natasha. “Yellow is actually a very difficult color to read. Since it reflects so much light, it’s straining to the eyes. I can’t help but feel happy when I see the color, though.”

“Why?” Natasha asks softly.

You look up to the ceiling, and Natasha wonders what you see.

“It reminds me of my childhood,” you reveal to her. “In my parent’s summer cabin they used to own by a lake. Many yellow flowers grew there, and my mother used to bake sweets while my father fished. I would draw in my sketchbook, and nothing mattered then.”

“What did you want to not matter?”

“The future,” you say quietly. 

The way you said it was so soft and sad that Natasha might’ve missed it if she weren’t hung up on your every word. But then the moment was gone when you looked back down and quirked your lip at Natasha. 

“What else do you see about the color yellow?” Natasha asks you, not sure what else she can say but she doesn’t want the moment to end.

“It’s a complex color,” you tell her. “But it’s also the color for friendship.”

There it was. 

Acknowledgment of last night.

Words that Natasha didn’t want to hear.

And so she crosses the threshold, invading your space as her hand touches the bottom of your back, dragging it’s way up until it’s between your shoulder blades.

“How are you so different from William?” Natasha asks quietly in your ear.

This was exactly what you had asked Natasha not to do, but she can’t help herself. She doesn’t want to pull away.

“How can you tell me to just be your friend?” It was a quiet hiss in your ear. Natasha lined her shoulder up to yours, her right hand covering your left. 

“How can I only be your friend?” She asks you, her lips just brushing the tip of your ear and you bite your tongue.

“When I’m begging you like this?” Her forehead momentarily rests against yours as if in defeat and Natasha feels a wet spot against her wrist.

She pulls back to see a bright shade of yellow against her black sleeve. Your eyes pull down, and you frown.

“Sorry--I’m always getting paint on you,” you tell her, turning away to grab a cloth but Natasha grabs your hand.

“No,” she tells you. “I don’t want you to wipe it away.”

Her hand slowly slips from yours, and Natasha turns away to walks off, adjusting her coat in her arms. 

“Natanya, wait--”

Natasha stops and turns her head back at your call.

“Tell...tell me something interesting too,” you ask her softly.

Natasha purses her lips tightly before sighing as she gives you a half-hearted smile.

“It’s getting harder to pretend you exist only here to me.”

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Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose. 

She’s distracted. 

How immature of her, she thought. 

The entire afternoon, Natasha had been working on looking through the files and following up with Tony to see if he had anything.

The entire time, she couldn’t get you out of her head. 

A part of her--the dark park, whispered about how it was a weakness. You were a weakness, an infection that was making her inefficient. 

But after years of being with Clint, it was easier to silence the voice. 

She heard a car drive up to her front porch and checked the time. 

New plan, Natasha thought.

If she could find out tonight what William’s plans were, and in addition, secure all the microchips, she could be done with this all. 

William would be put away, the microchips wouldn’t be released, and you?

You...

Natasha released a heavy sigh from her nose before she opened the door to see the driver.

“Miss Rovinski,” he greeted before gesturing to the car. 

One step at a time, Natasha reminded herself.

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The drive was shorter than Natasha thought was normal. 

The driver wasn’t taking her to the warehouse that Natasha had seen Emilio load off the microchips at. 

In fact, she ended up on the Cain’s estate once more, but instead of the main house, she was being led to the right-wing that was detached.

“Natanya, glad to see you made it okay,” William greeted her as she stepped in. She was the last to arrive, seeing many familiar faces of politicians and CEOs of companies that were supporting William’s campaign. 

There was one face that Natasha didn’t recognize. 

A woman with very sharp facial features, blonde hair, and in a tight pencil skirt stood a little further away with her hands behind her back.

Natasha took a seat as William started his presentation.

“I’m glad you all could make it. As you know, I’ve promised for my campaign something revolutionary...and I’m here to provide just that.” William grinned, throwing his palm out to the blonde in the back. She placed something in his hand and William brought it back, placing it delicately on the table.

“What this? A phone chip?” One of the CEOs asked as he leaned closer to take a look. 

William chuckled and shook his head.

“Not even close. This, everyone, is our future. It’s a bio nanochip, meant to be inserted just right behind your ear. It’s a data collector. Anything about yourself will be put onto this microchip. Health, genetics, personal preferences, all of it.”

“Why would anyone want to have that?” Another person asked, William just grinning further.

“Think of it like this. Your family has a history of heart problem, the nanochip picks up on that. You’re constantly making unhealthy choices--not exercising, eating junk food, not visiting the doctor. The nanochip is picking all this up, by the way. Maybe you need a heart transplant--what would you do?”

The men and women looked at each other around the room, perplexed by the hypothetic situation.

“I would go to the best doctor available,” one woman said.

“What if you can’t afford it?” William countered.

“I--” She stuttered.

“What if you’re a student wanting to go to the best university there is, and you didn’t get any scholarships--what would you do?”

“Get student loans from the bank or government,” a CEO offered.

“You didn’t qualify, or maybe you don’t want to pay the insane interest rates for the rest of your life. What then?”

Everyone is silent. Natasha is confused about what exactly William wants to do. 

He pushes the nanochip forward.

“This nanochip collects all your data on you, gives you the information via an app. As stakeholders, you’ve all purchased your share into the company I’ve started up to provide this technology to the public. The chip is free itself but to get it, people must sign an agreement with our company that it can collect, use, or sell their data.” William lifted his finger off of the nanochip, looking at everyone. 

“In situations where maybe people are looking to get a little...help, stakeholder and other companies who purchased into the company can reach out to this individual and set up a side contract with them. Be it their services or whatever they can offer in exchange for the financial help, connections, or whatever it is.”

Natasha felt her stomach dropping more and more as William spoke.

She was going to vomit, she’s sure of it. 

William was going to turn poor people into...into slaves to the rich and to companies.

Poor people who can’t afford healthcare, education, a job, or even a home. They wouldn’t even realize what selling their information would do.

Who is to say a company or person using a someone’s information wouldn’t do things like make them unemployable--forcing them to turn to rich people and companies for help?

The worst part is many people wouldn’t even see a problem with it. They would be stuck in a cycle, relying on the rich to stay alive or achieve anything. The rich would have complete control over people who’ve signed their life away.

“Amazing,” A CEO said, looking at the chip. The potential for free employment was outstanding, and he was already increasing his profits for the upcoming year.

Sure, they may be shelling out thousands of dollars, but whatever they were shelling out would be made back on interest and their services. A trade of equal or higher value.

After all, humans are the best resource there is. 

“How do you know if companies will want to be involved?” A woman asked.

William grinned throwing a stack on paper on the table. “On average, 70% of businesses in each state has already invested in this. Even some internationally. The funding for everything is already secured.”

“When is it set to roll out?” Natasha asked, plastering a smile even though she felt sick.

“It’s already rolling out,” William told her, “it’s been going in batches. The last batch will be shipped out tomorrow night.”

The first thing in Natasha’s head was panic. 

The second was that she needed to call Tony and Steve immediately.

The third was that she needed to get a hold of the last batch. 

There was a small celebration happening, and Natasha stayed as she felt the group was too small for her to sneak out unnoticed. 

When it came to an end, Natasha made sure William watch her leave in her vehicle.

Halfway through, Natasha got her driver to stop, drop her in the middle nowhere, send him off on his merry way as she turned around and made her way to the warehouse on foot.

The warehouse was quiet, quieter than Natasha expected. No guards standing outside, but maybe because that would seem suspicious. Using her intel from last time, she slips through a window, landing gracefully and moves behind a pillar when she sees a guard standing inside at the door instead.

She makes her way quickly to where the crates were last time which was the back of the warehouse, but there’s nothing.

No crates. 

It was all gone. 

Suddenly, alarms were going off, and Natasha found herself in flashing red lights, guards were screaming, and there were footsteps quickly rushing towards her. 

Natasha didn’t have time to make it back to the window where she came in from and quickly left the through the nearest back door that led outside. 

Red flashing lights were on the outside too as the alarms continued to ring and Natasha was running into the trees and bushes outback. 

She could hear the footsteps running after her and Natasha thought she would have to take out the guards.

If she did that, it would alert William for sure someone was onto him. 

Just as Natasha debated on what her next move should be, an arm shot out from behind a tree, pulling her roughly in before shoving her down and underneath a bush to hide.

Natasha was about to attack whoever was on top of her, her body tensing up but when she found herself staring into your wide eyes, fingers to your lip as you signaled her to be quiet, she did as she was told.

Time seemed to stop as the silence shrouded the two of you, the footsteps in the distance.

The two of you didn’t dare move. 

It was an awful time to notice how warm your body was and how much it fitted against hers, but Natasha had always been acute to noticing everything around her.

It wasn’t until the footsteps and voices passed the bush the two of you hid in without incident, the voices fading further and further away until there was nothing but silence again. 

You let out the breath you were holding in, eyes closing in relief, shoulders sagging, and Natasha felt all the tension leave your body.

She wanted to open her mouth and ask you what in God’s name were you doing out here and how the hell you knew she was here.

But you opened your mouth first as you turned your head towards Natasha, eyes ablaze with fury.

“What in the hell were you thinking?!”

PART V

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Cornelia Street (3/?)

A/N: oh my god they were quarantined

yes. It’s one of those fics.

AU, obvs

I’m posting as I go and idk how many parts this is going to be, likely won’t be very long but I literally don’t know what I’m doing and should i be starting yet another WIP? definitely not but fuck it lets fucking go

Title is from T-swizzles Lover album, I’m OBSESSED

Summary: Three years ago, Kurt and Blaine went on a disaster of a date and never quite got off on the right foot. Now, just before they graduate from NYADA, there’s a national outbreak and they’re both self-quarantined in a mutual friend’s apartment.

Read On AO3

On Tumblr: Part 1, Part 2

Part 3

Kurt has the art of avoiding someone he’s sharing a confined space with down to an art. Blaine stays in the bedroom most of the time and the morning stiffness in Kurt’s joints from sleeping on the couch is well worth not having to interact with his roomie. He spends the first few days decompressing from the stressload of his schoolwork, social media, extra pampering, the usual.

This is enough to keep him entertained for a few days, but the first few hours of day four drag on like molasses. 

Kurt lies on the couch, flippantly scrolling and cycling through the same social media apps over and over again until he’s seen every tweet, every snapchat story, and every. Single. Facebook. Post.

This routine is fine when he has a full and busy life, but it can’t be all he does. He’s going stir crazy.

It’s this boredom, he tells himself, that motivates him to knock on the bedroom door. Because he’s a generally social person, and he’s certain that even the likes of Blaine Anderson could offer him some temporary entertainment.

“The living room TV doesn’t come with Netflix,” he explains when a confused Blaine opens the door. “And my social media feed is dry, so you can either let me in on whatever you’re watching, or you can deal with the consequences of not doing that. I should let you know, I have a brother, and I can be very annoying.”

Blaine hums, looking Kurt up and down. “I also have a brother who can be ridiculously annoying, so I suppose I can’t risk it.” He speaks carefully, but Kurt has a sneaking suspicion that Blaine’s just as out of his mind bored as he is and would appreciate the company. 

He opens the door wider to allow Kurt passage in the room. 

Blaine moves towards the bed, where he’s clearly made some sort of quarantine nest for himself—the blanket is puddled near the head of the bed where Blaine was lying, a few books scattered by where his feet would have been, a bowl of half eaten ramen abandoned on the nightstand. 

Kurt… doesn’t quite know what to do. He starts for the computer chair by the desk, but Blaine waves him away. “You can just sit next to me,” he says dismissively. “That’s Sam’s gaming chair, and it is just absolutely hell on your lower back. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

He raises an eyebrow, crosses his arms. “Is that what I am to you?”

Blaine looks at him like he’s genuinely surprised by the remark. “What? I… No. Not at all.”

“Really?”

“Look, Kurt, I know we have a weird history and we don’t particularly get along, but I don’t hate you.”

Kurt eyes Blaine up and down for a second, assessing him for any signs of deceit. He finds none, pulls the cover back and slides underneath it. “What are you watching?”

“Let It Snow. It’s a Netflix Original. It just started, do you want me to rewind it?”

Kurt waves a hand. “No, that’s fine.”

On screen, two teens are trudging through the snow towards a building with AFFLE TOWN on top of it. 

“If the train made you feel real, Waffle Town is gonna blow your mind.”

In the movie, the cheerleader character kisses the other main red-headed girl in the bathroom, but acts like nothing happened when the rest of the squad comes in. 

“Oh, she’s totally not out of the closet yet.” Blaine murmurs. 

“What? But she said she was, at the beginning.”

“I mean, yeah, but there has to be some sort of twist.”

“Hm. Seems like you have this movie all figured out.”

“I mean, movies like this are supposed to be predictable on some level. Let’s be real, we watch these movies because no matter what happens, no matter what misunderstanding there is, you know everything’s going to be okay.” He looks at Kurt, and Kurt’s heart does not skip a beat. But objectively speaking, Blaine is ridiculously adorable, and maybe he has a teeny tiny reaction when Blaine says, “You know that the right people will end up with each other.”

About twenty more minutes in, all the different storylines have been introduced and Kurt realizes why this movie seems so familiar. “Oh my god,” he says. “This is totally just a teen version of Love, Actually.”

Blaine chuckles. “Oh my gosh, you’re right!”

They both laugh out loud at the end, when the crappy best friend realizes she’s been crappy and gives the red-head a little speech. 

“If you and Beyonce were trapped in a house that was on fire and I could only save one of you... I would let Beyonce die.”

The movie draws to a close and Blaine leans back against the pillows, obviously satisfied with the ending. “See? Happy endings rule. They’re a little cheesy, a little predictable, but that’s what I like about them.”

Kurt smiles and looks over at Blaine. “Yeah, me, too.”

*

When the movie ends, Blaine excuses himself for a moment to go grab a drink from the kitchen.

When he finishes his glass of water, Blaine heads to the hall closet, clamoring around for that stash of board games Sam keeps for game nights. He finally finds it and grins a bit, pulling out Battleship. This should keep them entertained for a while.

He stops dead in his tracks, just outside the room, when he hears Kurt in a heated conversation on the phone. “No, Adam. I meant it, this time. We’re over… I know there’s a national crisis right now, that’s why I’m at—don’t… stop… will you let me—! You always do this! Stop talking over me! Oh my god, if you’re not going to listen, then this conversation is over.”

Blaine silently backtracks a few steps when he hears Kurt sniff, then after a minute or two, starts walking again, making sure to slap his bare feet against the hardwood floor so that Kurt hears him coming and can take a second to compose himself. He rattles the battleship game for extra measure and says loudly down the hallway, “So I found this battleship game in the closet, thought it might be a good way to pass the time.”

Kurt still looks a little lost in thought by the time Blaine is back in the bedroom. “Uh, sure, yeah. Why not,” he mindlessly agrees.

It takes them a few minutes to set everything up and figure out logistics. As a gesture of goodwill, Blaine insists that they both sit on the bed for this activity. He still feels a little bad for… whatever Kurt is going through right now. 

They’re well into the game when Blaine decides to tug a little more on the thread that will unravel Kurt Hummel.

“J1,” Kurt grumbles.

“Miss,” Blaine responds. “So… I thought I might’ve heard you on the phone earlier,” he says, and Kurt’s hard gaze pierces through him. “Everything okay?”

“Why do you care?” Kurt snaps.

Blaine felt his own defenses rising up. “We are going to be stuck with each other for days on end, so excuse me for trying to be a decent person.”

Kurt de-bristles himself. “Sorry,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “Sorry… I um… my ex is trying to get me to go stay with him. But I know he’s just going to rope me into getting back together again and I just… I’m done. Sorry,” he repeats, lifting his knees and wrapping his arms around them. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this.”

“It’s okay,” Blaine says, mouth twitching. “We’ll chalk it up to social distancing. Speaking of, I know why I’m self-quarantined, why are you? If you don’t mind me asking. Why not go home like everyone else? B4.”

Kurt sighs. “Hit. My dad had a heart attack back in high school. Left him in a coma for a while. Then he had a cancer scare last year, so his immune system isn’t the strongest. I can’t risk taking anything back to him. J2.”

“I’m sorry to hear that… Hit.”

“Thanks. What about you?”

“C4. Kind of the same thing. My aunt has lived with us pretty much my entire life. She's pretty much my second mom. She’s diabetic, and a year ago she needed a kidney transplant. If she even gets so much as a cold, it could mess with her anti-rejection meds.”

He doesn’t get a response for a while and Blaine looks up to find Kurt staring at him. The other boy blinks, like he himself has just noticed his fixed gaze. 

“Um, hit…” he says, looking back down at his board. Blaine thinks he might see a hint of a blush crawling up Kurt’s neck. “J3.”

“Miss.”

“Miss? That’s impossible. J1 and I2 were misses.” Kurt snaps his head up, narrowing his eyes at Blaine, but there’s a playful light that wasn’t there earlier. “Are you cheating?”

“Maybe,” he teases, evading the question because it actually is a hit. In fact, it’s the winning move. “Maybe I just don’t want this game to be over so soon.”

For a moment, Blaine wonders if his comment was too close to flirtatious territory. But then he thinks, so what if it is? There was a reason he agreed to be set up with Kurt freshman year, and after half a conversation with him, Blaine is definitely intrigued, to say the least.

Kurt’s lips curl up into a smile. “Alright… I don’t want to go back to being bored either, so how about this? We each move one of the small pieces and the first one to get a hit wins.”

Blaine agrees, taking one of his small pieces off and moving it.

“I’ll start us off,” Kurt says. “You mentioned you had a brother. What about the rest of your family? A6.”

“Miss. I’ve only got the one, thank god, because he is a handful. My mom is a total goofball, gives the best advice. I love her to death. My dad is the essence of I hate everything except my family. He can be a total grump sometimes, but I know he’d do anything for us. G7. You?”

“Miss. I mentioned my dad. My mom passed away when I was eight.” Blaine’s eyes glaze over with sympathy. “She was… she was really something. I miss her everyday, but I’m also really grateful that my dad found someone as wonderful as my step-mom. They got married my Junior year of high school, and I got a brother out of it. He drives me up the wall sometimes, but I love the big lug.”

Kurt tells Blaine all about the ridiculousness of his high school show choir, his relationship with his dad, and the bullying he endured in high school. In turn, Blaine confesses some insecurities he has about being a musical theatre major, about how he absolutely adores his kooky aunt, and his love for harry potter.

The game takes longer to finish than it should since occasionally they get so deep into conversation that they forget about playing the game. Eventually, it’s nearly two am, and Kurt decides to call it quits.

“Alright,” he says. “I’m calling it. I’m never gonna fund that darn ship of yours.”

“You’re right about that,” Blaine agrees. Kurt had actually hit his piece about three turns in, but again… Blaine wasn’t ready to say goodnight yet.

Kurt snorts out a laugh and rises from the he’d, stretching his arms high over his head. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he groans.

Blaine has no idea what compels him to say this, but he does. “You don’t have to sleep in the living room.”

Kurt freezes and gives Blaine a look. 

“I just mean…” he swallows. “I’ve had the bed enough nights. Time to pay my dues. I can take the couch tonight.”

He hops off the bed before Kurt even has the chance to protest. 

“I… um, thanks,” he gives Blaine a shy smile. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, Kurt.” He returns the smile—more than just a nicety at this point—and turns around to head to the living room.

He can’t keep the dazed grin off his face when he pulls out his phone to text Sam.

Part 4

[kashimos-hajime]

In the Woods Somewhere | l.l.

A/N: Hello!! This is my entry that’s 21 minutes late for the Hozier Writing Challenge hosted by @lokissoul. My song was In the Woods Somewhere but there are small mentions of Almost (Sweet Music) as well. I literally came back from the dead to write this so enjoy! GIF is not mine!

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, CANCER, DEATH, BLOOD, THOUGHTS ON ANIMAL HARM. ANGST AHEAD!!! LOTS OF ANGST!! also side of medical jargon and cute romance but semi-sweet ending :)

Word Count: 10933 Pairings: Loki x Fem!Reader, Pepperony

My head was war My skin was soaked I called your name 'til the fever broke

“You've been getting worse.” Starting awake, you blink the sleep you’ve managed to catch away before taking a quick glance at the clock. It’s nearly eleven, almost noon. Raising your head, you manage a smile as Loki crouches beside you with a cup of water. In his other hand, he cups a pill. Too weak to raise your arms, you open your mouth for him to put the pill in and chase it down with water.

“I’m doing great,” you mumble as he rises to wash his hands in your master bathroom. “I’m not kicking it yet.” He flashes you a weak smile from the bathroom and comes out with a damp towel. The light drains into the room from the open windows of your apartment, casting shadows onto his face as he comes to your bedside again. He cups your cheek, concern etched into his features. With the damp towel, he pats away the sweat that gathers at your brow and touches your forehead, feeling for a fever. You can see where it’s hollow around his nose and cheeks, dark bags beneath blue eyes. His hair, pulled back into a bun, shines with oil and you gently pat his head.

“Your fever’s broken. Rest, (Y/N).”

“I can’t. Too tired,” you whine and he chuckles as you dig your fingers beneath strands of his hair. “You’re oily.” He wrinkles his nose at you with what you think could’ve been offence if you two weren’t in the position you are in now. “You need to shower.”

“And you need to eat.”

“I can’t,” you protest as he takes your hand from his head and presses a gentle kiss to your wrist. “I’ll just throw it up.”

“All the same. I’d prefer it if you could benefit from a bit of it.” He helps you sit up and you groan when your bones bend. You always felt as if you were this close from snapping in half. “Alright?” You nod. He extends his hands to you, pulling you up gently until you press against him. His arms encircle your waist, gently hoisting you to your feet.

Your knees wobble but he keeps his arms around you, careful to never let you take on any weight but still feel the floor against your feet that go through the motions of walking.

“What are you in the mood for, my girl?” he whispers in your ear and you turn to him, eyes meeting his.

“Pasta.”

“Hmm. That can be arranged.” He slides you into one of the kitchen chairs and heads for the cabinets to pull out pots and ingredients. You watch him for a brief moment, admiring his form and cute little man-bun. You taught him that when you first started dating ages ago. He always wore it when you were feeling down. Guess it’s fitting he does it every morning now. “What’s the rating today?”

“A six.” The pain can be worse, you know. You’re thankful you can even get out of bed today. Turning to looking at your arms, you check if you’ve gotten any new bruises overnight or if petechiae has gathered at your legs or neck. “Three years and the best I can do is a six,” you whisper underneath your breath. You know he hears you by the way he pauses for a moment as he brings the pot of water to the stove to boil. But you can’t help the way you feel. Three years you’ve wasted his time when your condition has been unchanging. “I’m sorry.”

“It has never been your fault you got cancer,” he replies sharply and you sit there, staring into your hands. Your spindly fingers weave together as you ignore how thin you’ve become. Your eyes barely stay open, exhaustion pulling at your consciousness but you know sleep never truly comes. He dumps uncooked spaghetti unceremoniously into the pot. “Nor is it your fault your body simply refuses to respond to Imatinib or nilotinib and every other medication your doctors have prescribed.”

“Loki—”

“We must keep fighting, my girl.” He goes to another cabinet, withdrawing a can of tomato paste before going to the fridge.

You don’t know how to tell him that the only reason you hold on is because you cannot bear to break his heart. So, you say, “Well, we only have to find a match and I’ll be okay.” He turns to you, measuring you words with narrowed eyes. You’re making it to be simpler than it was; it’s almost a glimmer of your old self. You always did make mountainous tasks to be nothing more than anthills. Then, he gives you a tired grin, nods and turns back to pasta. “When is Thor coming over?”

“Soon. He’ll watch over you while I go to work.” You nod to yourself. Nothing more than a half-dead pet is what you are. “Would you like parmesan?”

“Yes, please.” He nods, bringing out the grater and you slouch against the table. Resting your head on your arms, you admire his fantastic backside that you haven’t had the luxury to explore in so long and sigh, mind drifting off to so long ago.

.

“This could not get exponentially worse,” the man mutters under his breath as he glances up at the lights for the five-hundredth time.

“Glaring at the ceiling won’t make Fire Department come faster,” you sigh, rubbing your temple. You’ve got no cell service so you have no idea how you’re going to tell your boss that you’re going to be late. Pacing around the elevator, your heels click and he glowers at the infernal shoes for a moment before crossing his arms and looking away. You spare him a glance — he’s well dressed, tall, and he’s got nice hair. You can’t say you’ve seen him before though.

“I’d like to get to work before midnight,” he replies snappily but his tone carries no bite. Instead, he tilts his head up again to stare at the lights. It catches his face in an extremely flattering way.

“You’re not the only one.” Your heels are chafing your ankles but they’re your best pair and your makeup is as on point as you can do it. You dressed to impress and now you’re late. Shifting weight from one foot to the other, you pull a face when you wobble.

“Take off your heels,” the man mutters and your eyes dart up to him. He waves a hand from where his arms are still crossed across his chest. “I don’t mind and you are certainly uncomfortable.” Relieved, you hold onto the rail of the elevator and take each heel off one at a time, cheeks burning. You can’t bare to look at this stranger in the eye and thank him so you mutter a short ‘thanks’ as you get your second shoe off and set them next to your handbag.

“I’ve never seen you before,” you start and he sends you an idle glance. “Are you a tenant?” His answer surprises you.

“Yes, I am.”

“Oh, really?” You’re surprised. You would’ve noticed Handsome Stranger from miles away. What with his fitted suits and tailored looks, this is not the place you expect a guy like him to live in. “This place isn’t exactly five-star. But it’s nice,” you offer and he manages a snarky grin. Rolling your eyes, you lean against the wall and enjoy the cold tile against your feet. “How come I’ve never seen you at the parties?”

“I don’t like parties.”

“I can tell.” He sends you an annoyed look and you smirk. “Where’re you from?”

“A palace, in a place called Asgard.” His pretentious tone isn’t lost on you.

“Okay... Guess there’s no opening up with you,” you sigh, sliding down the wall and sitting with your knees tucked to your chest. It’s gonna be a long day. He sweeps his glance around the elevator as if there’s someone else before slinking down as well. He sits against his wall, you against yours.

“I have a brother and I moved here two years ago from England.”

“That’s better than nothing,” you acknowledge with a small smile. He chuckles huskily, and you smile at the sound, small but genuine.

“I’m Loki.” Your smile grows and so does his.

“I’m (Y/N).”

.

“I don’t like this.”

“Oh, it’ll be fun!”

Thor’s right to some degree. You haven’t gotten outside in ages and even in your wheelchair, you can enjoy the sunlight on your face and the fresh air. Pushing you through the park, the blond chats about absolutely nothing, making pleasant talk about the birds or the sun.

“Loki’s worried about you,” Thor says softly as he parks you beside a bench and sits down. He cracks open his water and takes a sip. “I hadn’t realized you had reached the accelerated phase.”

“Chronic myelogenous leukemia is a bitch.” You raise your eyes to where some kids are playing chase or something down the hill. Another kid’s on his side, rolling down the hill, his shirt stained with green already. “I’ve been fighting this for three years, Thor. None of it works. It’s only a matter of time.”

“You shouldn’t say that,” he says and you turn to stare at the man with storm eyes. He’s your best friend and there are things you can say to him but not your boyfriend. It’s always been like this. You never wanted to see Loki the way you found him again.

“Why? It’s the truth.” The words come out bitter.

“Because if you say that, then Loki will start believing it.” Your legs use to be strong enough to run and walk, to jump into Loki’s arms and climb onto Thor’s back for a piggyback ride. You used to be strong enough to keep fighting. “Loki still believes in you.”

“The TKIs didn’t work.”

“But the stem cell transplant might.”

“It might kill me.” Fidgeting, you look into your lap. “Thor, an allogenic transplant — who knows if I’ll find a match.”

“You have to try,” he murmurs and takes your hand. He’s startling warm compared to your pale, frigid fingers and you clutch onto him. It’s nearing summer and you’re bundled up in scarves and jackets. You know if Loki saw you outside, he’d have a heart attack. Being outside is near suicide for you. But you needed this. Thor’s right. “They can put you on the list today.”

“Thor—”

“Loki loves you. He’s loved you for eight years. Don’t give up on him today.” You bite your lip as you think of every kiss you’ve shared, every night you’ve stayed up laughing and every morning he’s made you coffee. Every day he’s driven you to work and every day you’ve taken care of him when he was overworked. You close your eyes. “Let him care.”

“Fine. Fine. Put my name on the list.”

Thor smiles, then comments idly about the weather.

.

“Loki?” Your voice echoes down the parking lot but you’re sure your eyes aren’t deceiving you. Parked just across the way from where you stand is Loki, loading his bags into his own car. He stiffens at the sound of his name, raising his head tiredly as you walk over with a smile.

It’s been months since you’ve been stuck in that elevator and you sometimes caught Loki coming home from work or going.

You aren’t friends, more acquaintances, but you do know things about him. His brother, Thor, lives in the same city but doesn’t work an office job. He’s a construction worker for Stark Industries, if you recall. They’re close, but Loki hates their dad. He was adopted. Loki’s twenty-six, born in February. He wasn’t class president or valedictorian but he is an eloquent English and accounting major who went to Oxford. You know it counts for something that his silver tongue can make you believe anything.

Still, you never thought you’d see him here.

“(Y/N).” His smile is forced and his tone is pleasant in a fake way, but you take the fact that he hasn’t told you to fuck off yet a good thing. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You work here?” Your smile turns incredulous because you can’t really believe this man with a double-major and a minor in philosophy from Oxford works in the same place as you who has a human resources degree tucked under your belt.

“Apparently so,” he says as he closes the door and turns to look at you full on.

“All this time, and you never told me?”

“All this time, and you never told me?” he fires back and you surrender to that. You’ve never seen him at work but you work in HR so, figures. He’s a decent guy — no reason for him to go down to HR. “Are you going home as well?”

“Yeah, I cut through the parking lot to get to the bus stop.” You jerk your head to the entrance on the other side where it’s pouring rain. He looks at you, from your dress jacket down to your pencil skirt and heels before staring at you. You stare back, accepting the dubious glint in his eyes. “I have an umbrella,” you say lamely.

For a moment, he continues to stare and then sighs, head ducking. When he raises his blue stare again, it’s blank and disbelieving as he pulls open the door to the front passenger seat.

“Get in.” Your eyebrows struggle to meet your hairline as you take a step back, head jerking back. He can’t be serious. You barely know the guy. “Get in or drown from pneumonia. It’s your choice.”

“You have a funny way of being nice,” you mutter. He takes it as your acceptance and walks around the car to the driver’s side as you duck into his car and buckle in. His tiny smile goes missed by you as you adjust the seat to your height, and he misses your blush as he tells you that the temperature controls are in your hands.

.

When I awoke The moon still hung The night so black That the darkness hums

“I signed up for the transplant list today,” you whisper, voice fading in and out of existence as Loki turns to you. You’ve only a few more days before you have to go to the hospital. It’s getting worse and it’s better for the doctors to keep you for observation they said. “Thor helped me get on the list.” Gently pressing himself against you, he cradles you in his warmth. Your eyes are closed. It’s easier on the pounding in your head if they’re closed. The gentle rumble of the AC accompanies Loki’s breath as he kisses the back of your bald head.

“I’m glad,” he murmurs. You feel cold, even in your robes and pajamas, burrowing against Loki even more to try and find enough heat. Turning around, your legs tangle in his as his arms wrap around you. “Cold?”

“Very,” you whisper and he frowns against your hair as you press your face against his t-shirt.

“Do you want me to turn off the AC?” He goes to move but your weak pulls at his shirt make him pause. A whining sound stems from your throat and he slinks back underneath the covers. The moment he’s back within your reach, you fist the fabric of his shirt in your hands and hold him close with all your might.

“Stay. Just stay with me.” Eyebrows knitting together, his lips press against your brow. He ignores the hot fever gathering between your temples as he places a hand on the small of your back, holding you to him until you drift off into an uneasy sleep.

.

You’d recognize that face anywhere. At your annual Christmas party, you spot him nursing a glass of wine and wade your way over. The venue they’ve rented is decorated nicely, all festive and bright with twinkling tinsel and a Christmas tree in the corner.

“What are you doing here?” you ask once you make it through the crowd and pick your treats from the table. “I thought you hated parties.”

“I do.” His eyes flicker down for a brief moment, scanning your festive outfit and offering a smile “But this one isn’t so terrible with present company. Are you enjoying yourself?”

“It’s always very boring unless someone does something to get themselves fired.” Chuckling, you tilt your head. “Do you volunteer?” He doesn’t reply, finishing his wine so you take that as your answer and your opportunity to admire his attire. He’s wearing an off-white suit compared to his usual all black but it still brings out his eyes all the same. One of your co-workers waves to you, having just arrived and you smile back before turning your attention to Loki.

“I’m sure one of our interns will do the honours.” You roll your eyes at his response, picking a glass of red from the table nearby. “You look ravishing tonight.” Again, you roll your eyes as you sip but you can’t help the way your breath rattles in your chest as you avert your eyes.

“Do I?” you quip with half a smirk. “Thank you. You look rather handsome yourself.”

“And they call me silver-tongued.” Scoffing, you nudge him gently. Finishing off your own wine, you sigh. “Would you like more?”

“Oh, yes, thank you.” Surrendering your empty wine glass, you wrap your arms around yourself and glance around. There isn’t much going on — just mingling and chatter. Boring. Perhaps exploring the venue would kill some time but you can’t just leave such pleasant company alone. He’d scoop his own eyes out with spoons should you leave him alone. You know him.

Once Loki’s returned, you propose exploring the venue and he agrees quickly. Anything to kill time before they are legally allowed to leave without their boss firing them, you joke. It brings out one of his rare smiles.

The two of you escape the stuffy room to explore the other venues the building housed. The one your company rented is relatively small and you admire the golden chandeliers of the main entrance hall, the way you came in. All of it is so glittering and golden, catching the light. From a distance away, you can hear classical music and realize it’s echoing from speakers high up in the ceiling.

“Loki, listen!” you exclaim, turning around to see if your companion’s gone the same way as you. There he is, bowed slightly and a hand offered to you.

“I learnt more than Rousseau at Oxford,” he murmurs and you blink, words failing. His dulcet tones weave into your ears, toying with you. Oh, how dependent you’ve grown on his voice to soothe your worries on the elevators ride to and from work. The few times he’s driven you to or from the office, he’s managed to soothe frazzled nerves and make you believe the most outrageous things much to your chagrin.

Placing your hand in his, you allow him to sweep you into a simple dance but in the arms of his, your feet barely whisper against the ground.

.

I raised myself My legs were weak I prayed my mind be good to me

“This isn’t how this was supposed to end,” Loki murmurs, brushing your forehead with a towel. Coughing, you manage a smile. The hospital monitors beeping is the only thing keeping him sane, letting him know you still breathe. The chemo’s been upped and the only thing it’s doing is keeping you alive at this point. “One more day. Please, one more.”

“Fine. One more,” you whisper, fingers bending over his. Nuzzling his face into your joint hands, he merely stares dolefully into your eyes. He looks so small that all you want is to cradle him close, tell him it’ll be okay. “You need to go home. You smell awful.”

“I’m not leaving your side.” Which he hasn’t since you’ve been admitted this morning. Leaning onto the edge of your bed, he sighs and rests his head against you. A warm feeling knots in your chest, making you warmer than you’ve felt in years as you gently shift to the side of your bed and pat the space beside you.

“Come on. Get on here.” He sends you skeptical look but when your sunken eyes glint with an untouched joy, he stands, shedding his suit jacket and kicking off his shoes. He turns on his side, an arm across your stomach as he follows the curve of your nose with his eyes, the hollowness of your cheeks. “I love you, so much,” you whisper.

“I know, my girl. I know.”

You lay awake for hours but he falls asleep at your side. Eventually, the need to pee has you squirming uncomfortably underneath Loki’s arm. Turning to him, you brush hair away from his forehead, kiss his temple, and remove his arm from your abdomen. You can make it to such a place as the bathroom. It’s a meager seven step journey and if you can do one thing, it’s not pee in the bed while your boyfriend sleeps.

Swinging your legs off the bed, you’re hit with a wave of nausea and your head spins. You clutch onto the end of the bed, trying to stop your vision from swimming. Your feet barely touch the floor and when you gently ease onto solid ground, your knees nearly give out. Collapsing, you catch yourself on the rail of the bed and push yourself up. Your breath rattles in your ribs as you tug your leads towards you. The monitor budges and then comes your I.V. It rolls and can be used as a rolling walking support so you wrap bony fingers around cold metal.

One, two, three steps.

You are close to passing out. Black dots flash in your eyes, eyelids sliding open and shut. Your hands are clammy and they slip on the metal pole. Catching yourself, you stumble into the wall and keen over, mouth open to retch.

Three, four, five steps.

“Oh, god,” you whimper under your breath, desperate to not wake him up. All that comes is globs of spit. You feel like you’re drowning, breath coming harder as you try to choke back the foul taste from your mouth. You haven’t eaten in nearly two days; nothing’s coming out. Wiping at your mouth, you scowl at your own pale hand and wipe it on your hospital gown. You’re strong enough for this. You can do this.

Six, seven steps.

“(Y/N)?” Stiffening, you raise your head to see Loki sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. Once he sees you out of bed, he jumps out and takes hold of you. With a withering sigh, you lean against him. “I just wanted to go to the bathroom.”

“You should’ve woken me up,” he whispered, helping you in. You pull your underwear down and sit, the cold of the toilet seat causing you to shake. Crouching before you, Loki takes hold of one of your hands, the other on your knee. “You need to rest. If you need to move, tell me next time.” His eyes meet yours in the dark earnestly but in the night, you can barely see him. Using your free hand to feel his face, you nod and press your brow against his, thoroughly exhausted. “Be good to yourself. It’s all that you deserve and more.”

“I’m so tired,” you murmur and he kisses the spot between your eyebrows. You pull away to wipe and flush but refuse his help to stand so you can wash your hands. You do, however, allow him to carry you to bed.

.

“You’re an awful dancer,” Loki mutters as the music fades and the two of you break apart. Face flushed with wine and laughter, you stumble away from him and run your hand around a column, twirling around and smirking. “For someone so light on your feet, you’re awful.”

“Now, now. You hurt my feelings.” 

He laughs freely, following after you as you climb up the master staircase. Renewed vigor lifts your steps as you run your hand along the marble rail, running with a loud shriek when Loki starts chasing after you. It’s so strange to see such a playful side of him but you shove that thought in the back of your mind. What matters now is that he’s here, he’s chasing you, and you need to get away before his long legs catch up and his long arms catch you.

Your heels click like rapid little gun shots down the upper balcony as you fling open a door and go through another hall, surprised to see no one. The cameras are there though — surveillance is gonna have a field day. Glancing around, you see the rich red ceiling-to-floor curtains and, with a sly smile, set your shoes down the hall where he can barely see them underneath a curtain and shuffle behind one behind it, wrapping it tight around yourself.

“Where are you?” The growl comes accompanied by the gentle pat-pat of his dress shoes. “You can’t hide.” Chancing a peek, you see him just past you, heading for where your shoes are. Sliding out from your hiding spot, you try as hard as you can not to slip in your nylon stockings as you run up to him. “Where—”

“Boo!” Tackling into him, you beam up at him as he turns around with a horrendous shout. His flushed expression has you laughing uncontrollably, his chest heaving against yours from the fright. He quickly detaches you from him, hand to his chest and glaring at you in treachery.

“I hadn’t realized it was Halloween,” is all he says dryly. You can’t help the fits that still seize you as he straightens up, going for the heels you hid. Bending over, he hooks a finger on the straps and turns to you, eyebrow quirked and expression so completely done with you. “I assume these are yours.”

Heading over to him, you grab your heels from him and smile. “Thanks. Come on, I think the balcony is this way.” You two walk across the hall and when you open another set of doors, moonlight streams into the otherwise unlit hall. Silver light catches the marble in giant beams, separated by the shadows.

“‘Think’,” he repeats incredulously but follows all the same. “Put on your shoes.”

“No.”

“(Y/N),” he warns, “I didn’t suffer through you stepping on my toes for you not to wear them now.” Wrinkling your nose at him, you still refuse.

“I see no benefits to wearing them,” you argue and he sighs, turning to you for a brief moment. His tongue flickers out to wet his lips, eyes darting from your eyes to other parts of your face before he turns away. Your breath that had caught in your throat along with your heart when you thought he might kiss you flutters out. “Do you?” Your heart still rises into your head, blood roaring in your ears.

“I am only one in the opinion of many,” he brushes it off and you scowl petulantly. “Oh, wipe that pout off your face. You know I enjoy your legs in heels.” The heat returns to your face and stomach faster than you can comprehend, stunning you until you can’t do anything but follow him to the balcony doors. He glances around, then cracks them open gently. Snow, untouched and glistening, is pushed off the edge by the doors and you suppress a shiver. It chases away the flushing but not the feeling in your stomach.

“Cold?”

“A bit. But it’s fine.” You warily eye his arms clothed in a jacket, knowing any moment he’ll probably take it off. He’s done it a few times before when you’ve had to run in the rain but you don’t know what to think of it now. Instead, you turn your gaze out to view the city. The moon’s bathing everything in gentle white light, darkness hiding behind towering buildings. “It’s so pretty here,” you muse. “Imagine what it’s like in the woods somewhere. On a mountain, or something.”

“I can imagine,” he says and your eyes meet his. In the light, his eyes gleam like blue steel, half of his face shrouded in darkness, the other favoured by the moon. All at once, you’re aware of how close he stands and he smirks, reaching up and pointing at something above your heads. Eyes drifting up, you roll your eyes playfully.

“Was this your plan all along? Play along until you could get me alone?”

“Mmm, perhaps.” His fingers brush against your chin and you shiver for an entirely different reason this time.

“I thought you could woo someone without the use of mistletoe,” you comment, tilting your head up. His fingers explore the side of your neck, hand fitting just right against you. His thumb brushes the corner of your mouth and you chew on your bottom lip, trying to keep your composure. His soft smirk has your knees weak. “Loki—”

“Hush.” Your lips press together firmly, pouting and he chuckles to himself. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” He pulls you close and you forget all about the heels, letting them drop and flinging your arms around his neck. All thoughts swirling in your mind come to a halt as you just focus on the feel of his lips against yours.

.

An awful noise filled the air I heard a scream In the woods somewhere

The sound of a coffee cup crashing against the floor cracks the air. The caffeine beverage spreads across the floor, getting underneath his shoes but he can’t tear his eyes away from the sight behind the partially-closed blinds.

Thor can’t connect the sound coming from the room to the man he knows but somewhere in his mind, he knows. There’s a doctor in the room, his mouth moving but he can’t hear the words. A nurse is talking to him but Thor can’t hear as he steps towards the window, eyes darting to the monitors.

“Sir — Sir, I think he wants to be left alone.” The nurse’s voice is soft and quiet, going through one ear and out the other. Thor can hear someone call for a janitor really far away to wipe up his spilt coffee. His head’s dunked under water, everything sounding like bubbles popping.

“When?” he finally asks quietly. He’s not even sure the words slip past his lips or if the nurse can hear him. He doesn’t trust himself to raise his voice. He’d fall apart otherwise.

The nurse tilts her head, a soft glint to her eyes. “Only a few minutes ago.” She checks her watch. “Time of death was 6:38.” Thor swallows a hard lump. He had checked his phone at the coffee shop. He was getting his cappuccino at 6:38. He was there and not here and he didn’t even get to hear your last words or see your last smile. You, his sister in all but blood—

His hand reaches for the door, fingers meeting cold smooth metal when he hears it. The haunting, flat ring of the monitors sends ice crawling up his veins. Stumbling away from the room, he closes his eyes shut and turns away, hearing it rattle in his head. The awful noise, filled with the mechanical clicking of other rooms nearby drives him towards the elevator, desperate to escape the madness.

In the room, Loki cannot bring himself to want to escape. His hand hold onto yours, whispering promises as he stares at your peaceful face. With every blink comes a fresh round of tears and he lets out a gasping sob.

Forehead to your limp knuckles, he watches his tears fall to their deaths on the bed sheet. Part of him can’t comprehend it, that you aren’t sleeping. That part of him promises you’re just sleeping and you’ll wake up and give him that snarky smile he’d fallen in love with.

“I love you,” he says, voice hushed he can barely hear it over the chaos in his own mind. “I love you, I love you, I love you. Please don’t go.” His words are met with crisp silence. “Don’t go, don’t go.”

.

“Don’t go,” you whinge, pulling him back. Loki collapses against you, smiling against your mouth as you press a good morning kiss to his lips.

“The great outdoors await,” he whispers, leaning on his elbow. You chuckle, tossing an arm around his neck and kissing his jaw languidly. In your sleeping bag, you wiggle around to leech the warmth from his body. “Though, I’d rather much stay in here with you.”

“Camping was a stupid idea for a one year anniversary,” you bemoan, flopping back on your back. “I don’t know why I thought it’d be a good idea.” His throaty chuckle rumbles in your ear as he kisses the juncture of your neck and shoulder. He sits up and rolls out his neck, joints popping before smoothing a hand over his hair to gather it into a bun.

Jumping at the opportunity, you sit up and grab the hair tie from his wrist. “Let me.” You twist the hair into a practiced bun, sliding your hands to his shoulders and kissing his neck. “Good morning.”

“A pleasant way to start they day,” he agrees, pulling your jacket around your shoulders when you quiver. “Come on. Let’s get up and take a hike.”

“I don’t want to,” you mutter under your breath and he turns to you, arching an eyebrow as a delicate smile crosses his face for a second.

“Did you really think we’d stay in a tent and have sex all four days?” he asks incredulously and you smirk, winking. You stuff your feet into your boots and get out into the morning air that cools your insides and stings your eyes. “Next anniversary, I’m choosing where we’re going,” Loki comments crossly, sticking his head outside the tent. Turning around, you stretch your arms high above your head.

“Already thinking ahead,” you tease and he rolls his eyes, ducking back into the tent. Your heart thuds against your chest and you pull your jacket tighter around you to keep your ribs together. If your heart beats any harder, it’ll explode in your chest.

.

A woman's voice I quickly ran Into the trees With empty hands

The first few days after your death, Loki does not sleep. On times he tries, he sees the ring he’s stuffed in his drawer. It was supposed to be a surprise for your next birthday but you hadn’t even made it to that. Others, he sees the memories you’ve shared with him for so long, or that Christmas party of your first kiss. Or the child with the pure blue eyes.

Mostly, he hears you calling for him.

Wine dulls the edge, but he finds vodka does it faster. But it reminds him of the hospital, the smell of antiseptic too strong, so he abandons it after a night where he can’t remember anything he’s done. He can’t remember your face the morning after, and the notion of it makes his heart seize and crush in his chest. He pours what little he didn’t drink down the sink.

His life crumbles in his hands, and he runs out of excuses to drink. It used to be that you died, then his work and stress, and then the pain. But now the pain has disappeared to something numb poking at his fingers so he can’t even say he hurts.

When he sleeps — when he tries, at least — is when he can see you clearest. You smiling or laughing or crying or angry, every bit of you that he misses when he’s awake. He has photos of you, true, but nothing can ever hold a candle to you, the real you.

It’s a week of you screaming for him to save you when he finally even looks at wine again.

Is it worth it? He ponders to himself. To drink you away and forget your face, just to ease my pain? His mind, worn and stretched thin, pleads for him to take a pull, to drown in rich red and white and tequila and vodka. Anything at all—

His heart wins, as it did eight years ago when it told him to kiss you in the moonglow. Absolutely not.

So he goes outside for fresh air and starlight. He runs, the wind melting your lungs with its ice. The park is empty at this time of night but that’s what he likes. The moon draws his tears but the wind chases them away as soon as they fall, burning like fire down his red cheeks. The stars do not judge and the shadows protect him. He thinks he can feel you, the ghost of you holding him to your wisp of a body, and hear your voice, your lips against his cheek. He prays, for the first time in so long, that you’ll leave him alone and that you’ll stay — it changes every other moment.

Thor finds him asleep on the park bench the next morning, with a blanket and hot chocolate. He tells his brother he needs to sleep and that he shouldn’t drink coffee. Loki nearly collapses into tears when he realizes that the hot chocolate almost tastes like how you used to make yours.

.

A fox it was He shook afraid I spoke no words, no sound he made

The service was quiet. People from the office came, your family came. They said their words of condolence to Loki who has barely shown a flicker of life since your passing. His blue eyes drift emptily from one face to another, Thor responding in his stead as he stands beside him. The husk of a body Loki stays in goes through the motions the next few days, eating and sleeping as he should.

Two days later, Loki moves out of the apartment.

Thor welcomes his brother with open arms and lets him stay in the guest bedroom. Your clothes gather dust, your notebooks and laptop untouched and cold. He still goes to work but he knows they watch him, watch him work besides your empty cubicle where your pens still sit and your little post-its stick to the monitor.

It’s another week before Thor can convince Loki to go in to the apartment.

“There’s things that need to be donated. Things that can go to other people, I— Loki, come.” The man follows his brother, ghost-like and pale. He drifts in and out of this existence where you don’t exist and another where you do. The line’s getting blurry and he can’t really recall the last time he’s felt anything else but the freezing numbness of the night he spent in the park.

The clothes and blank notebooks, things that you never got the chance to use or the books you used to want to read but never got to, they’re donated to different charities. Your favourite books, your filled notebooks, your laptop and jewelry is what Loki keeps in a box that’s duct-taped shut. Everything else, your old worn uni hoodie, your bleached jeans with too many rips in them, the ratty tee you used to wear to sleep, everything else that held the spirit of you, it’s decided that it’ll be burnt.

Thor brings his brother to a clearing in the woods and builds a pyre, sending the embers and smoke up to the night sky. Loki watches the flames swallow the last bits of you, then looks around and thinks that living around here isn’t so bad.

He moves to a small house on the edge of the city and within driving distance of the woods. On weekends, he stays in a cabin instead of a tent and thinks you would like camping if it is here instead of out there.

Would have. You would have liked camping. He has to remind himself that you’re no longer more than an empty casket lowered in the ground and an urn of ashes hidden in the corner of his new closet. He hasn’t found anything to fill in the gigantic chasm where you had once fit. He wakes up with an ache all over and he doesn’t know if it’s the true heartache or if it’s just another symptom.

On his Saturdays, he takes a hike to the top of the mountain trail and back again. Atop the mountain, he drinks his coffee and talks about his week to the too-thin air, lungs heaving and legs weak, though they slowly gain the endurance for the trail. Sometimes, the sun shines on his face and he pretends it’s your hands cupping his cheeks. Mostly, he sits on the ledge, legs hanging off stone and looks down below. He reads to the air, or he looks at the clouds.

Mostly, he contemplates how far the drop would be from where he sits to the ground below and whether or not the pain will be enough to fill the gaping hole in his chest and force heat into his numbed body.

On his third Saturday on the mountain, he can hear the quick steps of something in the forest. He’s used to birds, but he’s never heard something up and about so early in the morning.

For a while, he ignores it, content with pulling out his homemade granola. It isn’t so bad, sweet just how he likes it and he spills it into his mouth. Besides, he tells himself, whatever it is could be just a deer or someone on a trail with their pets. Then the steps come quicker, lighter and he pauses. He’s heard of mountain lions in this area, other carnivores that can make his a quick death if he doesn’t get out.

Loki wonders for more time than a sane person should take if he should move or not.

Getting off the rock he’s sitting on, he stuffs the container into his pack before slinging it onto his shoulder. Buckling his pack around his chest and waist, he pauses mid-step to hear for it.

It’s coming from somewhere near the ledge. It doesn’t sound like a panther or a bear, or any animal with big claws that could macerate him in seconds. Staring blankly at the edge, he looks down to see how high up he is and then continues inland. The beginnings of the trail he’d walked coming up soon appears underfoot and he sees his own footprints in the mud on the trek up. There are another set of prints, a track that follows his and then split into the leaves.

There’s a soft thud and he steps towards a tree crowded by bushes. His boots crunch against the gravel and rock, dirt shifting underfoot. Pushing apart the brush, he grimaces when a stick stabs his palm but steps into nature. His boots shift in the dirt and a rotten stench hits his nose just as he parts the branches.

Dark amber eyes meet his and Loki freezes. A fox stands, midway through another step and he crouches down, getting a better look. He’s never seen one so up close. The fox lowers his black paw, limping farther towards the tree and Loki sees one of its paws mangled.

Moving forward, Loki goes to inspect the limb further. It’s broken, he’s sure of it. The best way would be to split it but he shouldn’t. A bone is poking out between the fur and it doesn’t even look like an old wound. Flies buzz around the wound and there’s a rotten stench. He read about splinting in one of the books he took with him last weekend. Still, he has not a clue on how to do it and the blood that wells where the fur broke as well as the pulsing red skin makes Loki think there is no time left for this creature.

He’s young. The fox has a pelt that shines in the morning light, russet and white and black melding seamlessly into one another. It’s muzzle is dark, whiskers glinting silver. Too young to die.

Loki finds that that is true for many things on this Earth.

.

His bone exposed His hind was lame I raised a stone to end his pain.

“No extraordinary measures,” you say, the minute the doctor leaves your room. You’ve caught the cancer in time and Loki’s holding your hand in a death grip. You’ve got good odds but even then, he can hear the tightness in your voice. “I don’t want them.”

“Think about it,” he says in a way to change the subject, or to stop you from talking, you’re not quite sure. What you are sure is that his world had been just flipped upside down. “In fact, let’s not think about it. Let’s just cherish what time we have—”

“Loki, don’t. Don’t make this harder—” Your words fade when he stands abruptly. His eyes flicker from you to the monitor reading your healthy heart as if he’s sure it’ll stop any second. Sitting up straighter, you reach for his hand. “Loki…”

“Excuse me for a moment.” The words are barely heard, hanging in the air and clicking into their imaginary space as the door closes softly.

.

You lay on your side, staring out the window listlessly. Ever since Loki’s left, you’ve stayed in your room and tried to sort out your thoughts.

Is that it? Are we over, just like that? Your eyes close and you swallow a knot, trying not to let the ache in your heart get to you. He deserves more than this. All of a sudden, everything hurts and you let out an ugly cry. Burying your face into the pillow, you curl into a ball and sob. Spit spreads to your cheeks, mixing with your tears in the pillowcase and an unbridled rage rears its disgusting head within you. It fuels you with such unspoken energy that you throw the pillow off the bed, screaming.

Hands wrap around your shoulders and you thrash, tears burning down your cheeks. A soft voice hushes, wrapping around you as you exhaust yourself. Everything is on fire and all anyone can do is add wood to it. Except—

“I’m here, I’m here, I’m sorry I left.” Loki is water, calm and cool. He quenches your fire, puts it out and you drown in his embrace. You feel smaller now than you did before but you fit into him as you always have. “I… I got the papers outside. When you’re ready, perhaps we could go through them together.” Your eyes meet his and you see the cracks in his heart deepen.

“Thank you,” you say. He never takes his eyes off of you again for the rest of the day. He burns a hole into the hand that signs your paper, stating that should anything go wrong, you’re to be pulled off life support. And though he tells you that he loves you, you know that some part of Loki hates you for signing what he sees as a death sentence.

.

Loki sits with the fox, his hand on a stone. He debates on whether or not to just end it now, glancing from the fox to the ledge. The creature’s on his stomach, eyes flickering shut. It’s leg is slick with dark blood, it’s fur matting with the dirt and Loki leans against the trunk of a tree, extending his legs before him. The fox still hasn’t made a sound, and neither has he.

All he’s thought about is you.

What you would’ve done, what you would’ve said. Loki wants to feel his legs snap beneath him before he dies, he decides. This is a nice place to die. Loki likes the thought of being brave enough to stare death in the eye.

.

What caused the wound How large the teeth? I saw new eyes were watching me

“What do you think of kids?” you ask meekly. Loki’s still kissing each knob of your spine down your back and you twist in his arms.

“We’re a bit young to think of kids, my girl,” he murmurs against your neck. You can admit that that’s true, but it’s been nearly five years you two have been together. “But, yes, some day.”

“Boy or girl?” you probe and he chuckles, nipping at your ear.

“Which would you like?”

“A girl,” you say confidently. He sighs, burrowing closer and you kiss his hands that rest on your chest. “And… and,” you trail off and Loki looks at you. Your back pressed against his chest, he kisses your shoulder.

“What?”

“Would you want to get married?”

“When the time comes,” says Loki, “yes, I’d like to marry you.” The thought alone warms you and you smile to yourself, pulling his arm tighter around you. His hair tickles your skin as he rests his head in the crook of your neck and shoulder. “I always thought of adopting a child.”

“I’d like that.” Your eyes close and he whispers a goodnight to you before leaning over you to turn off the light. Loki sleeps easier when you’re in his arms and when you settle, he can’t help the smile that doesn’t cease to fall. For once, his life seems to be planned out before him, clear to see and mapped out.

A week later, Loki wakes you up with pancakes and tells you he loves you dearly before asking if you want to go to the nearby orphanage. You agree.

The orphanage is well-kept and organized, with classrooms and a nursery and rooms with other kids. One of the workers offers a tour and you go to follow.

“Loki? Do you not want to—”

“No, go ahead. I’ll meet you again later.” He pecks your lips chastely before sending you on your way. When you’re gone, he begins to wander on his own. The rooms are aligned straight down the hall, with personalized name tags and other such things. There are toys littering the hallway and Loki smiles when a boy darts out to grab his truck and runs down the hall and down the stairs. Most of the kids are in the play areas and rec rooms. He’s seen a few of the older kids lounging around the TV.

However, down the hall, he can hear one tiny voice talking to someone else and follows the sound. There’s one open door at the end of the hall with no name tag and Loki knocks on the wood. The girl inside is dressed in a long grey shirt-dress and striped leggings. In her hands, she holds some Barbie or other and Loki guesses she’d been playing Pretend before he knocked.

“May I come in?” She nods and Loki steps in tentatively. Crouching, Loki gestures to the doll. “Were you playing Pretend?” Again, a nod. She’s nervous, he can tell, so he asks, “What’s your name?”

“Aloisia.”

“Aloisia. Beautiful name.” Loki looks around the room. Not much is in, the walls still a drab white. She must be new. Aloisia does smile and says he can sit if he’d like though so Loki crosses his legs and gets comfortable. “How old are you?” he asks, picking up the toy horse idly. Aloisia looks up at him with the biggest blue eyes.

“Six. My parents died in a car crash,” she states factually and Loki’s taken aback by how blunt she is. He nods and keeps up the smile but he can’t help the sympathy he feels for her. Children forced to grow up too young are never children to begin with. “What’s your name?”

“Loki,” he says and she grabs the horse from him, her smile ever growing. He doesn’t even realize how much time has passed until you find him in Aloisia’s room. Crouching behind him, you wrap your arms around Loki’s shoulders and greet his new friend. “Aloisia, this is (Y/N).”

“Hey, there.” Your smile is warm and you sit beside Loki.

“Aloisia, why don’t you show (Y/N) all your Barbies?” Loki prompts and the girl gets up excitedly, much more lively than when Loki had first went in. As the girl goes to her trunk to dig up her collection, Loki leans over to you and whispers, “She’s the one.”

.

Loki’s been sitting an hour or so based on the sun. The fox has fallen asleep at this point, the oozing blood drying in its fur. His fingers are curled around the stone and he’s raised it a few times to see if he has the guts to smash it down on the fox’s skull.

You shouldn’t. Let him sleep, a voice says and Loki pauses. It’s his own conscience but he can’t — there’s something about those words that aren’t his. He lets go of the stone. The hairs along his back rise and a wind sweeps under his jacket, gooseflesh following after. The words repeat in his head as he tries to put a finger on the voice.

Aloisia. It’s Aloisia, he realizes with a start. The orphan girl they’d visited up until your last hospital visit where you’d stayed permanently always had a penchant for animals. She is nine now, older and much more mature than she should be. Impatient as well, wondering when they were going to adopt her.

“Sorry, Lola,” you had said, “I’m just very sick right now. We don’t want to be unable to take care of you.”

“I can take care of myself! Let me go home with you.”

The last words of their almost-daughter echo in his head. The two of you should’ve adopted Lola when you still had the chance.

.

The creature lunged I turned and ran To save a life I didn't have

Loki wonders then if Aloisia knows you’re dead.

It’s a thought that occurs and he can’t believe he’s even forgotten the little girl he’s fallen in love with over the course of a morning. You always said he was smitten by their little girl.

Our little girl, he repeats, heart throbbing. He has to visit her when he goes back to the city. She likes the hot chocolate you used to make, my girl. And her favourite Barbie is the one like the cowgirl. How could I forget you, Lola?

He’s been sitting here for hours and his back is stiff. Shifting in the dirt, he stifles a yawn just as the fox sniffs and raises its head drowsily. It’s amber gaze is cloudy but once it spots him, its lip curls in a bloodthirsty snarl.

The last thing Loki sees is a flash of russet and black, teeth bared and aimed for his neck. A blinding pang hits him tight and he raises his arms in defence. The fox caught his jacket, growling and raving, but Loki manages to shake him off and run. The boots slap against dirt and leaves as he sprints with reckless abandon.

I’m not strong enough, his whirlwind thoughts scream, not strong enough to face death in the eye. I’m sorry, my girl — I can’t join you yet. Lola’s sweet face burns bright in his mind and Loki tries to breathe through the burning in his lungs. He can’t hear the fox running after him but he still runs. He’ll run until the edge of the forest if he has to. Anything to outrun death’s shadow. He can fool himself all he wants but he is not interested in dying, even if it gives him you.

.

Dear, in the chase There as I flew Forgot all prayers Of joining you

“What happened to (Y/N)?” Lola asks as she helps set the table. Loki pauses from where he’s cooking the meat sauce for the pasta. The little girl’s voice is carefully constructed to give nothing away and Loki wishes that Aloisia hadn’t picked up your knack for masks and hiding. At nine years old and nearing ten, Lola’s quite perceptive. Something Loki normally hopes she gets from him but now dreads. “She’s gone isn’t she? Just like my parents.”

“How old were you when your parents passed?” he asks, hoping to switch the topic.

“Three. I don’t really remember it.” Aloisia sits at the table as Loki wraps silicone grips around the handles of the pot and pours it over the spaghetti. “So is it just you and me?” Setting the dish on the table, Loki takes off the silicone grips and throws them on the kitchen island. He bends over and presses his nose to Lola’s hair briefly before sitting at the table.

“It is just you and me,” he affirms quietly and Lola nods. Serving her a plate, Loki watches hesitantly as she twists her fork in the spaghetti. She’s only been adopted for three days but already, she’s made herself at home. Loki had realized with a painful punch to the gut that Aloisia had picked up a lot of your own tastes. “Is the pasta alright?”

“It’s good,” she says and Loki nods to his own plate.

“You’ll start school soon, and you’ll make new friends. Would you like that?” Loki continues and Aloisia nods. “Good.” He forces a smile and her big blue eyes scan his face for a moment before she stabs a meatball and bites a bit of it off. They eat in silence except for the moment Aloisia asks for a cup of juice. When they’ve had their fill, Loki scoops the leftovers into a container as Lola brings the plates to the sink and sets it on the counter.

“Go shower. Dessert and movie later,” he tells her and she hugs his legs for a moment.

“Okay, Papa,” she says sweetly. Loki’s heart collapses in his chest and he smiles softly down at his daughter, placing a hand on her head. She grins, heading down the hall where her room is. He painted it a shade of blue a few days before she’d arrived and filled it with a huge bed, a closet and shelves. She had loved it.

There are moments when he still forgets you’re dead. Moments so perfect where he’s holding someone who was supposed to be your daughter too, reading her bedtime stories. If he closes his eyes, he can imagine you coming home from work and scooping Lola up, rubbing your noses together as she squeals that little giggle of hers. Then he remembers that urn full of you in his closet and he reminds himself all too firmly how gone you are.

But Lola keeps him busy. Having a daughter is certainly an adjustment and Thor is besotted by his niece. She takes up dance and music and art, curious in all sorts of lessons, and makes friends at her new school that Loki barely remembers how hard it is to keep going without you. On Sundays, they have a family dinner with her Uncle Thor but on Saturdays, they take hikes up to the mountain as long as Lola wants to. Sometimes, they watch movies and sleep in. Lola likes to cuddle on his chest as they watch, and it is in this position they are in as they watch Despicable Me on their second Saturday together as a family.

“Papa, you don’t look like yourself,” she says and Loki looks down at her, frowning quizzically.

“How do you mean?”

“Ever since (Y/N) died, you don’t feel the same,” she says. Loki sighs, hoisting her up and she sits in his lap, leaning into his chest. “Do you miss her?”

“Terribly,” he whispers, pecking his child’s temple. “Let me tell you something, Lola.” He mutes the TV and his daughter twists to face him. “When someone you love very much dies, they always take a part of you with them. I loved (Y/N) for a very long time. I would’ve married her if she asked, so when she died, she stole something from me.”

“She should give it back,” she replies quietly. From any other child, it would sound snobbish and petulant but Aloisia only stares at him with the blue eyes he’d drowned in the first time they met. “I miss her.”

“I miss her, too.” He goes for the remote, his finger hovering over the mute button to toggle it off when a thought pops into his head. “But you know something, Lola,” he prompts and she raises her head again. Loki wonders if he imagines your features in Aloisia’s face or if it was ever truly meant to be. “Ever since you’ve moved in, I am almost me again.” And she’s almost you, (Y/N). Sweet, and kind, and blunt as can be. Mountainous tasks are like anthills to Lola.

“Will you ever be okay?” Lola asks, eyes drifting to the array of framed pictures of you along the desk beneath the mounted TV.

“Of course, my girl. Of course.” And for once, Loki believes the words coming out of his mouth.

.

I clutched my life and wished it kept My dearest love I'm not done yet

“You look better, Loki,” Thor says, sipping on his pretend tea cup a child had passed him earlier. In front of them, Aloisia helps baby Morgan Stark begin to walk in the living room. It’s the Morgan’s birthday and Loki had been inclined to go since Tony is Thor’s friend and by extension, Loki’s. “Some colour, some warmth.” His eyes soften as he holds his brother by the shoulder. “Lola’s good for you.”

“I spoil her,” Loki mutters helplessly, running a hand over his head to smooth out any bumps to his bun.

“So? She’s good.”

The Starks have a huge mansion and Loki can hear other kids running around upstairs but Tony and Pepper only have eyes for their small daughter. Their son, AJ — Antonio Jarvis — has his friends over and Loki swears he can hear Peter Parker running around with them.

Sitting down on the couch, Loki sighs and eats the finger foods provided at any regular party. Thor perches on the arm rest, arms crossed and the two brothers watch as Aloisia helps Morgan get up again. Tony’s enthusiastically recording while Pepper claps her hands and encourages her little daughter, on her knees across the wood floor.

“This is something she would’ve loved,” Loki remarks and Thor glances down at him. “I know it. She always wanted kids, even if she never said.”

“Loki—” Thor’s throat cinches shut and he clears it, trying to blink away the blurriness in his eyes. “I’ll keep the ring,” decides Loki aloud. “It’s what she would’ve wanted, to pass on some heirloom.” Thor nods, trying not to make a noise as he presses his lips together. It’s a hard topic to broach with the huge blond man. He’d lost his best friend after all, and while he loves to support his younger brother, Loki knows Thor feels every inch of your death. A earth-shattering laugh splits the morose air between the two brothers and Thor’s eyes dart to where Morgan is successfully stumbling her way to her mother. Aloisia claps, laughing loudly.

“Papa, Uncle, look! She’s walking!” Lola runs towards them, jumping into her father’s lap and beaming from ear-to-ear. The ray of sunshine in Loki’s lap prompts one of his own chuckles and Thor starts at how genuine it sounds.

“I can see that, my girl,” he teases and Lola sticks out her tongue before sliding off and running towards Tony.

“She laughs like her,” Loki says wistfully once she’s out of earshot. Thor cannot help his own smile when he thinks, And you laugh like you again, brother.

.

How many years I know I'll bear I found something In the woods somewhere

“Do you like the view?” Loki asks. Lola’s arms tighten around his neck and Thor sighs. Setting down the pack, the blond man sits on the ledge. The trek had been long and exhausting, especially when they’ve woken up while it’s still dark out. Loki raises his chin, feeling the wind lick at his face. The summer wind may be warmer but at sunrise, it does well enough. He sets down Lola and turns to her, half a smile on his face.

“Yes, Papa,” she says and holds up the bag she carried for him. “I kept it safe.”

“Thank you, my girl,” he murmurs, crouching beside her. She slides an arm along his shoulders, hugging him for warmth and Loki lets her step between his legs to huddle as he cracks open the urn.

“I never knew you had a view like this, brother,” Thor murmurs, eyes meeting his. With an arm around his daughter, Loki stares into your ashes. The wind already tries to steal you away but he simply kisses the silver embellishment. Tears escape and Lola wipes them away for him. Kissing her cheek, Loki uses the hand that’s around Lola to hold the urn while the free hand sets down the lid and slips into the soft powder.

The wind carries you off his fingers like ashy snow. Thor and Loki take turns, spreading you across the forest and when you are gone with the wind, Lola takes Loki’s hand. For the first time in months, the numbness leaves his fingers and he feels the warmth of the tiny palm in his.

TAGLIST: @teawithbucky @jcc04220 @shenala @dulharpa

[kpop-scenarios-multifandom]

Stray Kids

medical resdidents au

Bang Chan

He's the resident who's talking to patients even on his break and gives kids sweets to cheer them up when their parents aren't around. It's been his dream to be able to help others ever since he was a little kid, so no one was surprised when he announced that he wanted to become a doctor. He enjoys taking part in patients rehabilitation process a lot and makes sure to visit every one of them and talk about their improvements before he goes home. He really enjoys learning and takes his tasks very seriously, after all he's a hardworking perfectionist! Hes good at everything he does so he finds it hard to choose his field. It also doesn't help that all of the doctors would love to have him in their teams. He knows the importance of mental health as well so he makes sure all of his patients are at ease and tries not to overwork himself, tho he usually leaves the hospital last. He goes to parties to bond with the others but usually ends up leaving after a drink. It's important for him to have good results on his exams, tho he finds the hospital work more important than he's grades so he's not interested in being top of the class.

Woojin

Woojin is that annoying resident who's just naturally good at what he's doing even tho he doesn't put in the most effort. He wanted to have an important role in society so he chose to study in the medical field. He takes working on his shift extremely seriously and will 100% tell the guys he's paired with and the other residents in his year or below him to fuck off kindly leave if they can't take their job seriously. But he's really nice with all of the patients especially with the children! He has an assistant resident with him: Mr. Bear the plushie. He wants to become a pediatric surgeon (children's surgeon)! He works wonders with the children and the parents love him. He studies a lot and answers all of the doctors' and teachers questions (aka the teachers pet) and because of his ego he also likes to be praised and chosen as the example on how to do things right. But ego aside he will drop hints at the others and teaches them how to do things properly and not make so many mistakes! (helps them because he cares like a real tsundere)

Leeknow/Minho

He barely does any of the work since there's always a coven of students, residents, and nurses who are by his side and would do anything for him because he's so "dreamy". Won the secret voting of most handsome med student consecutively since his first year. Not that he's not capable at his work or studies! He does a great job at both but pretty much only puts in effort when he wants to get things done quickly so he goes into a room alone and does his paperwork. Other times he just enjoys the attention and let's his fanclub help him. Why wouldn't he? They're making his life easier! He was planning on becoming a vet for a long time but he had a change of heart when one of his friends got into a car accident. He excels under pressure and is thinking about working as a trauma surgeon. Many people are intimidated by him and his cold city guy character but he's an actual dork once he gets comfortable with someone.

Changbin

Changbin is the resident who arrives 10 to 20 minutes late almost every morning as a result of sleeping in because he was out there living his best life partying and drinking till 5am the night before. He arrives out of breath, hungover and generally just a hot mess. It's miraculous how he's never been caught by his superiors before and has managed to get away with being a mess. Tho he's able to pull himself together very well for the short time he spends with his patients. Thanks to his outgoing lifestyle pretty much everyone knows and likes him. It's not a party without him around! Coming from a richer household he was expected to become someone important and his decision to pursue a career in the medical field was extremely supported by his family. But since he spends most of his free time partying he barely has time for studying for his exams. Tho lady luck and some cheating seems to help him get pretty good grades without much studying and he's more than satisfied with that. He hasn't put too much thought into what he wants to specialize as. He believed when the time comes something will call his name and it will feel like the perfect fit!

Hyunjin

Hyunjin is the directors kid. They didnt need to pull too many strings to get him the residency at the hospital. Because of this he's a lil shit! Pushing everyone's buttons perfectly and he's favourite target is Changbin because he's always a hot mess after all those nights out. Gets away with not doing anything ever and lowkey everyone thinks he's really dumb and only got in because of his father, until they are paired with him and realize that he actually knows everything they need to. Tho he still wouldn't do any of the teamwork and would only say anything helpful or clever when a doctor comes to complain about their lack of progress. A. Lil. Shit. Still Changbin likes to sit next to him during exams cause he's the only smart guy who doesn't cover his answers (Seungmin and Woojin do not tolerate cheating) and god knows Changbin needs all the help he can get! He's passionate about being a doctor and never even thought of any other profession for his future. He wants to follow his father's footsteps and become a transplant surgeon and maybe even the director one day.

Han/Jisung

Jisung is a transfer kid. Nobody knows much about him, his family or his past studies. He'll be at every gathering, drinking the most and being the loudest fucker, probably also going home last as well. Yet he's in the hospital right on time everyday drinking his coffee and doing paperwork like the night before that never even happened. Changbin is secretly jealous at him for being perfectly composed and professional all the time. He's not a show off tho, but always answers every question perfectly without having to think about it twice. Many doctors favor him and he was the first resident of his year who was allowed to help at an operation. He's thinking of becoming a cardiac surgeon and definitely has the talent for it! He's mysteriously good at everything but no one bothers asking too many questions because he'll most likely just joke about it and change the subject. Still most people like him since he's always the life of the party.

Seungmin

Seungmin is the guy who got into the best university and prestigious hospital because he studied his ass off. His dream is to become a well known neurosurgeon and to make his parents proud so he takes everything super seriously! While others are out there getting drunk and doing dumb stuff he's at his room memorizing symptoms and reading about special cases while getting angry at his roommate for being too loud. He is the top of his class and is determined to keep it that way. Of course he enjoys having the best grade but he genuinely enjoys reading about all kinds of diseases and how to treat them, it's his way of understanding the world better. Even the doctors are surprised at the specific things he knows sometimes. He feels like the nights out are just wasting his time and doesn't go to almost any of them. But he's not all that antisocial, he secretly loves hanging out with the others during lunch, even though he acts like they're getting on his last nerve. Because of his vast knowledge he finds something to talk about with everyone.

Felix & Jeongin

Felix and Jeongin are 2 childhood friends, both from medical families. Their parents are all also doctors and best friends so they pretty much grew up together in a hospital, and even though they always had a choice to become anything else they made a promise to each other when they were 5 and 4 that they'd work as surgeons at the same hospital just like their parents do. After highschool Felix spent a year traveling to far away relatives so he could start uni at the same time as Jeongin. Because they spent most of their youth in the hospital they already know a crazy amount more than even most residents in other years do without even having to think about them twice. Because of this they're rarely ever stressed and are always out their doing dumb stuff together and just having fun even at hospital. Thay have a relaxed and composed aura to them so the patients love them! They're also at parties a lot just enjoying themselves and chilling instead of going crazy. Felix has shown interest in becoming an orthopedic surgeon for a while, he also finds being a neurosurgeon like both of his parents (they're a power couple like that) would be too stressful. Jeongin is planning to become a general surgeon like his mother. Both have great grades but Changbin doesn't like to sit next to them as they tend to finish a good half an hour before everyone else and are out of there in a blink of an eye. They're like brothers and both of their parents see the other kid as their own. They're planning on moving in together once they finish their residency.

[artsybanchou]

OOf. I gots another AU, everyone. Sorry.

Technically, I’ve got another roughly seven or so because Detroit: Become Human is just begging for crossover AUs with other fandoms. This one is a Merlin: Become Human AU. Some info is in the really quick doodles I did above. The rest will be below the cut so I don’t clutter people’s dashes.

HOO Boi, you fool! Clicking on that keep reading link, welcome to my hell. My brain won’t stop churning these out and apparently you want in on that. I’ll hit you with what I’ve been thinking about regarding this so far. I welcome discussion. If you’ve got ideas relating to this or want to participate with me, go ham in the comments or make your own post and just tag me or use Merlin:Become Human AU in the tags so I can see how you’ve expanded on it! 

General Premise:

Merlin is an android (not sent by Cyberlife). He’s actually an independent prototype, unlicensed and unregistered, created by a disgruntled former Cyberlife employee (Gaius) who felt that Androids and their AI had reached a point that they should be recognized as an intelligent species with their own rights. Cyberlife disagreed and Gaius left the company because of what he perceived as their immorality. Gaius, now working on his own in the middle of nowhere with no oversight, makes the one of a kind Merlin. Merlin is designed to look and act incredibly human, even moreso than most androids. His programming, in particular, is designed to heavily encourage deviation and machine learning in the hopes that Merlin will advance so far beyond his original coding that he is virtually unrecognizable when compared to how he began, emulating the kind of growth that makes humans seem so alive.  Another feature Merlin is programmed to have in order to appear more human is the ability to change how old he appears to be (to reflect on Merlin’s frequent age changing shenanigans in the original show). Merlin is also given an atypically large amount of information about technology and programming so that he can have the ability to grapple with his own existence in the same way humans do when studying biology, psychology, or neurology. What this means, though, is that Merlin is able to accomplish feats akin to magic (heh) with technology. Probably even reprograms himself on occasion or changes his own hardware just because he can. 

So Merlin is born and he’s a pretty great success. Gaius feels as though he really is living with a petulant, sassy late teens/early 20s human being. Sometimes, he genuinely forgets Merlin is an android. So does Merlin. These two are out in the middle of nowhere living their best life with a few others (maybe Hunith-- good mother figure for Merlin, could be andoird or human). This eventually develops into Merlin having to go to High School or college. Maybe Merlin watched too much TV with that setting and became unbearably curious and annoying about going, maybe Gaius wanted to prove that humans and androids could not only coexist but it’d be so incredibly seamless that no one would even notice anything-- maybe a little bit of both. High School or College are good settings for Merlin to test out his immersion because of his own youthful demeanor (aka abundance of snark and attitude). 

MERLIN GOES TO SCHOOL.

I think we all know what happens from here. 

Merlin arrives at his first day of school to a scene of Arthur and some other kids knocking around an android who is gardening on campus. Merlin gets pissed and intervenes, because while he’d seen stuff about people hating androids on the net, he’d never experienced it in real life. Arthur tells Merlin to back off and that he and his friends can do whatever they want to the android because his family can pay the school for damages to their property since his family is rich. Merlin gets sassy (”You sure you can afford that? I’d assume that if you had enough money to replace an android, you’d have enough to fix your awful personality.”) Conversation continues, maybe roughly in the vein of:

Arthur: “Dude, chill. This thing is just an object. Why are you getting so pissy about this?”

Merlin: “Do you even know the first thing about androids? Because my bet is no.”

Arthur: “Excuse me, I’ll have you know I’m--”

*Merlin shoves everyone away from the android so he can examine the gardener and finds both the audio and visual processing units are damaged (the ones that Marcus damaged in the one scene, spoilers? I’m trying to be vague don’t mind me).*

Merlin: “You damaged this android’s __ and __. He has completely lost the ability to see and hear and yet you keep kicking him. I don’t suppose any of you remember the last group of humans that found fun in assaulting the disabled.”

Merlin probably insults the intelligence of Arthur and all of his friends (well, I can’t say I’m surprised. None of you look like someone passing history class). Arthur fires back about Merlin being a bleeding heart or some shit. Arthur reveals he is the son of the politician leading the anti-android movement. Now that Arthur knows this new guy is an android-apologist, Arthur declares Merlin had better watch his back. Merlin gives him a sassy response in the way of that not being how a politician’s son should behave, probably. From there on Merlin and Arthur frequently but heads over the treatment of androids and androids’ rights.

There will, of course, be other shenanigans going on. Merlin is going to be incredibly odd, as he learned how one acts in High School/College from TV and maybe webcomics so he has trouble fitting in at first. He definitely makes friends though, because that’s just who Merlin is. Eventually, he’ll also stumble into Arthur’s friendship, although at this point I have no idea how.

Last thoughts: 

These are my less developed ideas, although the above can hardly be called developed either. 

Being an android is parallel for being a magic user. Hence Merlin being an android disguised as a human who is standing up for android rights.

Morgana is probably an android, assuming we stick to this idea. She might not know it or just be hiding it, but Uther would know and it would be a prime highlight of the hypocrisy he is known for. Morgana would likely also be a very unique android, possibly a gift from Cyberlife to Uther. Finding out that she is an android could be a great moment of tension for both Morgana and Arthur as their confidence in the man they believed to be their father was shaken. 

Ooo, what if Morgana was an experimental android in aging technology. She was gifted to Uther as a baby and every year she has a “check-up” where her AI is transplanted into a slightly larger android body to mimic the process of growing up. She could be unconscious during these check ups and hence it would be perfectly natural for her not to realize that she is an android. As for why Uther would accept this gift, I have no idea. 

Because of Merlin’s ability to change the age he appears, it would make sense if Gaius was the head of the project Morgana was the android of before he left. Gaius could be the expert on aging technology in androids. It could be that seeing the humanity in Morgana as she slowly grew up alongside her human brother was what pushed Gaius over the edge in demanding that androids be seen as human because he feared what would happen to Morgana if the public ever found out. 

Some kind of android purge taking place in the story, possibly due to the events in Detroit, would be a great arc for the characters where everyone has a new conflict to worry about. Whether or not Arthur knows how many of his closest friends and family members are androids at this point-- I have no idea. I want to see Arthur agressively protecting Morgana, but at the same time an enthusiatic Arthur participating in the purging until he discovers his own sister should be the target of his rage would be an incredibly palpable moment and just-- there is a lot to consider.

So yeah. That’s roughly where I am now with all of this. If you want to expand on this, do it. I want to hear other people’s ideas. If you make your own post (speculation, fanfic, fanart, telling me I’m full of shit) about it tag me or use the hashtag Merlin:BecomeHumanAU so I can see! I have no idea when I’m going to post about this specific AU again, because I’ve got six other D:BH AUs I want to just throw out here into the void first, but seeing other people’s theories and thoughts on things like this always gets me energized.

THanks for scrolling through this disorganized monster of my thoughts. This was probably a lot to deal with.

[preserving-ferretbrain]

As If By Magic

by Dan H

Tuesday, 15 December 2009Dan actually liked the movie of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince~

Last week, Kyra and I purchased the movie version of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

We bought it along with Twilightwith the intent of settling down to an awful movie night. Twilight was indeed rubbish (although I totally heart Robert Pattinson, he's so cute) but my reaction to the Harry Potter movie went something like this:

“This is going to be awful, isn't it. Hey, I'm sure that the book didn't start with Harry sitting in a Muggle cafeteria. Hey, why is Harry chatting up a Muggle waitress, that makes him look ... mature. Oh here's Dumbledore. Hey, this looks weirdly sinister in a non-wanky way. Hey, here's the meeting with Slughorn and hey, he's not horrendously fat, what's going on here? And here's the Hogwarts express and wow, this whole thing is starting to feel like some kind of post-world-war-two spy movie with a genuine air of oppression and danger. And is that Lavender Brown? She seems like a nice girl who's actually good for Ron. And the romance seems to work. And it feels like a school. What the hell?”

So yeah. It worked, it worked surprisingly well.

All Growed Up

I have long felt that one of Rowling's many flaws as a children's writer is that she writes her teenage characters from the viewpoint of an adult. This has, ironically, won her a great deal of praise from her adult readers, who go on about how realistic her portrayals of teenagers are – this is because most adults have no respect for teenagers. Harry spends the vast majority of his time (at least after book five) having adolescent tantrums, obsessing about stupid things and screaming in CAPSLOCK, and grown-up readers look at him and say “wow, that is exactly what teenagers are like”.

Of course back in the dim distant past, the Potter books were designed for children. Children absolutely do not believe themselves to be irrational or immature. They believe themselves to be entirely capable of getting by on their own, thank you very much. Good children's books portray children as they see themselves, while really good children's books walk the narrow path between the two, presenting children in whom children recognise themselves, and in whom adults recognise their children, or themselves as children.

What this means in a roundabout way is that the Potter books feel deeply stupid because you're sitting there going “for fuck's sake, Harry is a kid and you are a grown-up why are you leaving this all up to him you stupid prat?” It doesn't help that CAPSLOCK aside, Harry doesn't change that much between book one and book six. There's always some part of him that feels like a twelve year old, and the Hogwarts students always feel like a “bunch of twelve year olds” to me at least.

Here the film gets a remarkable leg-up from the simple fact that the cast have all - well - grown up, and have often grown up in ways that neither Rowling nor the producers could have ever predicted. The Order of the Phoenix movie, for example, really struggled with the fact that Dursley had gone from a comical fatty to quite a buff young man (they compensated by turning him into a chav, but he still didn't look anything like book-Dursley any more).

Just to give you some examples, here are some photographs of the actors from the movie:

Ladies and gentlemen: Neville Longbottom.

The chubby kid whose pure-blood status was never quite good enough to put him on a par with Harry has grown up into ... well ... that.

And if you think that's scary, try this:

May I please introduce Miss Ginevra Weasley.

And of course, lest we forget:

Famous Harry Potter.

And for what it's worth, that's a shot from Equus, so it's actually quite an old picture.

Anyway, point being, the later Potter books require Harry to do some quite serious, quite grown-up things. In the book this is stupid, because Harry never stops feeling like a twelve-year-old kid. In the movie it works remarkably well, because they suddenly really look like young adults. The fact that the actors are all basically adults now (Radcliffe is twenty at time of writing) combined with a script that removes a lot of the cutsier elements of the text makes the whole thing feel weirdly serious in a way that Rowling never allowed it to be.

The other thing that struck me about the casting is the weird parallel between the cast and the characters. Harry Potter is, after all, a boy who is plucked out of obscurity at the age of eleven, and suddenly finds himself cast into a world in which he is more famous than he can really imagine. This is of course exactly what happened to Daniel Radcliffe when he was cast as Harry Potter some eight years ago, and so there's a sense in which Radcliffe, playing Harry, is really playing himself. Similarly, Bonnie Wright was cast as Ginny at the age of nine – she's been playing the same role for literally half of her life.

Even more interestingly, because the cast – particularly the long-running cast members (you get it far less with the likes of Luna) – were chosen because of the way they looked when they were twelve, they've often developed in unexpected ways which have actually added a peculiar amount of nuance to their characters that Rowling could not have imagined. Of course it's often just visual, but visual isn't the same as superficial – cinema is a visual medium after all.

For example, take this shot of Harry and Ginny in the Room of Requirement:

Now there's several things I'd like to take a look at here. First off, I know it's a small thing, but Ginny is actually taller than Harry. She also doesn't really have red hair any more, it's darkened with age to the point where she's really more of a brunette. I know it sounds finnicky, but these two things actually do more to make me invest in Ginny as a character than pretty much anything else (well, that and the fact that she's suddenly developed this really remarkable, rather sexy, speaking voice).

In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (the book) Harry suddenly realises that he fancies Ginny. The problem is that Ginny in the books isn't really a person. Pretty much every trait she possesses defines her purely in relation to somebody else. She's Ron's little sister. She has red hair like Harry's mother (nothing Oedipal about that, oh no). She's brave and good at Quittitch, like Harry (but not quite as good as Harry – that wouldn't be attractive at all).

Movie!Ginny is a very different person. She certainly no longer looks like Lily Evans, and she's lost the characteristic hair colour that marks her out as a Weasley. She's taller than Harry, and in the language of the visual arts, height is frequently a marker for status – hence Voldemort is tall as is Dumbledore, Pettigrew is small (and fat, of course) as is pretty much any secondary character who wasn't cast at the age of twelve.

In the book, Harry's sudden attraction to Ginny was nonsensical, not least because Rowling clearly had no interest in making sense of it. She had obviously always known that they were going to wind up together and it was just a case of getting from point A (“She's Ron's little sister”) to point B (“Marriage”) via the shortest possible straight line which, for some inexplicable reason, involved chest monsters. Rowling transparently couldn't work out why Harry would be interested in Ginny, because she clearly had no idea why any teenager was attracted to any other teenager beyond some vague notions about hormones.

In the movie, however, you can totally see why Harry suddenly notices Ginny, because she's completely changed, and not in an annoying bat-bogey-hex personality transplant way, in a “hey, this is what happens when people grow up” way. Movie!Ginny looks like a person in her own right who Harry might genuinely be interested in (it also helps that movie!Harry has been shown taking a genuine interest in girls, see the Muggle waitress in scene one), book!Ginny is this scary composite of other people designed purely to provide Harry with children to name after his dead relatives.

I'd also point out that if you look closely at the Harry-Ginny picture above, Harry has a distinct five-o-clock shadow.

Canon to the Left of them, Canon to the Right of Them

I freely admit that I only used subheadings in this article because I really wanted to use that line.

The Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince movie has an unusual relationship with canon. Interestingly, it's a relationship that we've talked about before here on Ferretbrain, one that can broadly be summed up by three major points:

The film must contain only events which are part of canon.

If the book doesn't say it didn't happen, it can have happened, and still be canon.

If the book says it did happen, and you don't say it didn't, you can ignore it, and still be canon

Kyra once mocked me for observing, after a particularly peculiar production of Measure for Measure (or possibly Richard the Third) that I'd never quite realised how much flexibility you had within the script of a play to reinterpret the events of said play – often to the point of completely reversing their implications or context (Kyra being an English grad thought that this was so obvious it wasn't worth saying). I pointed out that you could do completely mad things like having a production of Hamlet in which Ophelia didn't die – on the grounds that you never see it happen, and you could perfectly well put her onstage and have her interact with people, as long as you didn't give her any lines. Kyra responded to this with a certain amount of patient condescension. Imagine my surprise, then, when I found that myself watching a film which did almost exactly that.

For example, in the book there is a chapter entitled A Very Frosty Christmas. In this sequence Harry and co go back to the Burrow for Christmas, Ginny is rude about Fleur and – well actually that's sort of it.

In the movie the equivalent sequence involves Harry and co going back to the burrow at some point and the Death Eaters attacking it and burning it down. Because there's nothing in the book to say they don't. And the whole sequence is curiously silent and nobody ever mentions it. They were, it seemed, perfectly happy to have the event take place on screen, but could not bring themselves to change the “script” Rowling laid out before them.

What's amazing is how well this winds up working. The film essentially uses silent images and the judicious omission of (many, many) irrelevant scenes in order to produce a text which, while it may have been inferred from the original, was certainly never implied by it.

On a related note, it's remarkable how much better the story becomes when you take out all of the irrelevant stuff – if you ever needed evidence that less is indeed more, watch the Half Blood Prince movie after reading the book. Suddenly instead of Dumbledore telling Harry that “aah, there is something very important you have to be doing” and then – well – not making any progress in that direction whatsoever, he says “Harry, it is very important that you do this” and then tells him what it is, and then Harry does it, with hundreds of pages of meaningless twaddle excised.

Similarly, the director seems to have abandoned the idea that there should be a “mystery” about what Draco is up to – throughout the film we see him working on the vanishing cabinet, in a series of short flashes which are reminiscent of the Prestige (there's even a sequence with an apple and a caged bird). What we don't get is Harry obsessing about what Draco is up to, despite the fact that he's supposed to have an important job to do. What we don't get is Apparition lessons and – to be honest – that much of the actual Half-Blood Prince plotline.

Fight the Cuteness

Every so often, when watching the film, I'd say to myself “was that in the book? I don't think that was in the book.” Twice I found myself thinking quite clearly “that was in the book, but in the book it sucked.”

These two scenes were as follows:

First is the sequence in which Ron tries out for Quiddich. As you might recall, he starts off doing badly, then Harry gives him Self Confidence (tm) and he does well.

When things are going badly, the Slytherins make up a Mean Song to sing to poor Won-Won. The song goes like this:

Weasley is our king! Weasley is our king! Always lets the quaffle in! Weasley is our king!

Aside from forming a keystone in the “Dumbledore is Ron from the Future” theory, this was lame, cutesy and annoying. When Ron finally gets his shit together, the Gryffindors sing a variant of the song (yes I'm going to type it out again).

Weasley is our king! Weasley is our king! He didn't let the quaffle in! Weasley is our king!

The same sequence appears in the film. However this time the mean song sung by the Slytherins is as follows:

Lo-ser! Lo-ser! Lo-ser!

And the triumphant variant sung by the Gryffindors is:

Weas-ley! Weas-ley! Weas-ley!

Both in a boisterous, locker-room tone.

Can you spot the difference? I'll give you a clue. One of them sounds like something that real people would actually say and one of them doesn't.

I think it was – actually embarrassingly I've forgotten his name, Mike Smith I think, the guy who did the Half-Blood Prince review – who observed that one of his major problems with the Potter series was that it was impossible to take all of the Dark Serious Themes seriously, because they were presented side-by-side with things like Sneakoskopes and Puking Pastilles.

It seems like a churlish complaint but it, well, isn't. Rowling would, I am sure, argue that the cutesy elements are there because it is a children's book. She would argue this because she has no respect for children. Children don't need bright lights and sugar coatings to understand things, they don't need to be spoon-fed watered-down versions of serious issues by patronising grown-ups (is that a mixed metaphor? I suppose you could water something down and then feed it to somebody with a spoon...) they are smart people who actually know quite a lot about the world.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is shot through with annoying cutesy crap that undermines the air of oppression Rowling is trying to create. The movie simply removes it (and again, Ginny is so much easier to like if we aren't being constantly reminded of her proficiency with the bat-bogey hex). Slughorn's gatherings are no longer called the “Slug Club” (well, Ron uses the term, but his tone is pejorative – again taking the same literal text but completely reversing the meaning).

The second clear example of this is in the final confrontation with the Death Eaters. In the book the DEs break in through the vanishing cabinet Snape kills Dumbledore (OMFG SPOILER!!) and then the Death Eaters fight their way out through the Hogwarts student body. In this battle three Death Eaters are killed, no members of the student body (who fight with full force using such devastating spells as the Jellylegs Jinx) are harmed. Yes, I believe the implication is that they used the Felix Felicitas but it still makes the DEs look really really dumb.

Then of course they confront Snape who gets called a coward whilst calmly refraining from killing Harry (and the tragic thing is that JK seems to really mean it). Harry uses Sectumsempra against him, and Snape replies:

You dare turn my own spells against me Potter? It was I who invented them! I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn your inventions on me like your filthy father would you? I don't think so ... no!

Dude.

In the film it goes like this. Snape Kills Dumbledore (OMFG SPOILER!!). The Death Eaters leave. On the way out Bellatrix walks along one of the tables in

Christchurch

the Great Hall, stamping on all the crockery and putting out the candles. The image of destruction is striking and remarkably affecting. There are no students, but they set fire to Hagrid's hut on the way out. Harry, alone, confronts the Death Eaters, Snape kicks his arse again, and says.

You dare turn my own spells against me Potter? Yes, I was the Half-Blood Prince.

Compare. The first is mad, cackling over-the-top villainy. The second is quiet and understated. The first seems to be there purely to explain where the book got its title, the second seems to be there to highlight how little Harry truly understands about his world.

Slughorn, Dumbledore, Philby

I have, before now, described the Harry Potter series as “the Secret Seven versus Hitler.” A plucky gang of school-age children take on a genocidal maniac with an army backing him up and somehow win.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Movie Version) takes this pile of stupid and fail, and turns it on its head producing instead something reminiscent of the Cambridge Spies.

I've already mentioned how much the start of the film looks like a nineteen-fifties spy movie, with the Hogwarts express suddenly becoming this tiny, cramped thing straight out of Strangers on a Train. The air of fifties paranoia means that instead of the War in the Wizarding World feeling like a version World War Two fought by twelve-year-olds with stink bombs, it feels like a version of the Cold War being fought by powerful, cynical old men through their young proxies. Dumbledore works through Harry, Voldemort works through Draco, everything is silent and shadowed, and nothing is as it seems.

At the start of the film, Dumbledore makes a speech to the students at Hogwarts. He says two things in this speech which aren't in the book, and which make things very different. The first thing he says is that Voldemort used to be called Tom Riddle. Again this confused me when I heard it because something fandom (or at least the faintly bitter parts of fandom I hang out in) has been up in arms about since the series ended is the fact that Dumbledore (and for that matter Harry right up until the final confrontation) never called Voldemort by his real name. The second thing he says is that “the most powerful weapon in the coming battle is you”. Now if you think about it, that's positively chilling: here's Dumbledore, bastion of goodness, describing his students as weapons to be used in the war with Voldemort. It all conjures this image of a desperate, terrifying shadow-war being fought, where the weapons are knowledge and ideology and manipulation. What a contrast to the actual war, where the weapons are extendable ears, invisibility cloaks, and Expelliarmus.

This idea of a war fought through information and manipulation is reinforced throughout the film, and strangely it is most strongly reinforced through the character of Horace Slughorn. Rowling's Slughorn is in every respect an awful character. A glutton, a braggart and a fool (and worst of all, a fatty – fat equals evil remember) Slughorn is one of Rowling's vast army of despicable strawmen. He is weak, selfish and (horror of horrors) cowardly.

Movie!Slughorn is a much more subtle, much more interesting creature. When he is first introduced, Slughorn shows Harry his wall, showing pictures of his most successful former students. In the book, this makes him sound like a wanker. He brags about what his students have achieved, insists that they wouldn't be anything if not for him, and gloats about all the free stuff he gets. In the film he speaks about his ex students with genuine affection, and a sense of melancholy. You get the sense that he feels privileged to have been part of the lives of these remarkable young witches and wizards.

Throughout the film, Slughorn is played with a lightness of touch, and one is left with the impression that he really did make a difference to the lives of all of his students – at least the ones he singled out. Essentially Movie!Slughorn runs the closest thing that Hogwarts ever gets to a Gifted and Talented Students program – something which any modern institution would consider mandatory. One gets the impression that Rowling who – if I may make an impertinent assumption – does not give the impression of having been an especially bright spark at school feels that recognising the abilities of talented students is nothing more than favouritism. Movie Slughorn is altogether more complex, a difficult amalgam of your favourite teacher and your least favourite teacher, a little manipulative, a little selfish, but genuinely sincere in his desire to bring out the best in his students. It's a quality that's almost unheard of in a Hogwarts teacher.

The key to defeating Voldemort is knowledge and control. Slughorn has knowledge, and Dumbledore needs it. Dumbledore uses Harry to get at Slughorn's memory. Slughorn uses his students to validate himself, but Slughorn's students – both Harry and Voldemort - use him for their own purposes. Voldemort uses Draco to get at Dumbledore, and Dumbledore uses Snape to protect Draco and Harry. It's wheels within wheels on a scale Rowling never allowed us to imagine, because she would never allow us to interpret Dumbledore as being genuinely manipulative.

It is a film of bold and striking images – the repeated motif of Draco pulling the cover from the vanishing cabinet, the recurring shots of a birdcage, empty after Draco uses its occupant as part of his testing. All of the action takes place in long shadows and dark corridors, everything feels secretive and claustrophobic. Every significant interaction between the characters is couched in terms of secrets discovered and betrayed. When Riddle gets Slughorn to tell him how to make a Horcrux, and Slughorn – realising what he might have done – asks Tom to reassure him that “this is all academic, isn't it” (mirroring the excuse he himself gives for stealing valuable magical reagents) Tom replies “oh yes sir, and don't worry, this will be our little secret”. When Snape passes Harry on the way into the lightning-struck tower, he presses his finger to his lips, urging Harry to silence (again this is a change from the book, in which Harry is both invisible and paralysed throughout the whole incident).

The whole thing hangs together into an extremely strong, extremely satisfying film, which is at its weakest when it is forced to stick closely to canon. Ron's relationship with Lavender Brown, for example, is extremely convincing when she's just a pretty girl who happens to fancy him, but the moment they have to let her call him “Won-won” the whole thing just feels stupid. Even when constrained by the original narrative, however, they sometimes manage to salvage the most awful parts of the book. Agragog's funeral, for example, is very well handled, because they neither attempt to get a cheap laugh out of it, nor to make it genuinely moving. It's absurd, but not silly, if that distinction makes any sense.

So, umm, yes. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince well worth seven quid from Sainsburys.Themes:

J.K. Rowling

,

TV & Movies

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

,

Young Adult / Children

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Sister Magpie

at 21:27 on 2009-12-15Wow, this does make it sound good! I haven't seen it, but it does sound like this was one where they made some good choices. And I especially agree about the actors growing up. I think that's somewhat been true since the beginning. When real people or real kids had to say the lines, they often brought something to it that couldn't help but make it a little different.

One correction--in OotP the book Dudley also becomes a buff young man. You probably just don't remember it because he's essentially the same guy and never changes his personality. But he becomes a boxer, presumably so that he can be a bullying adult.

And also, looking back, perhaps as foreshadowing that Dudley was going to turn out not to be evil, which he proves he isn't by personally validating Harry's worth.

I find it funny to think of Ron's Quidditch story here, because it's actually his Quidditch story in OotP. But it works much better when combined with his story in HBP, because the story in that book was a complete retread with the tiny addition of that Felix Felicitas stuff.

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Melissa G.

at 21:35 on 2009-12-15

(again this is a change from the book, in which Harry is both invisible and paralysed throughout the whole incident).

This was one of my favorite changes! It made Snape's betrayal that much more poignant because there was a moment there when Harry actually decided to trust him. As opposed to having no choice in the matter and being an incapacitated spectator. The fact that the movies can go outside of Harry's POV is a wonderful thing. I actually kind of feel like as the books got worse, the movies are getting better. I'm excited (and dreading) what they'll do with DH.

@Sister Magpie

By the way, I've been reading and LOVING your HP sporks on death to capslock. Just wanted to send love your way for those. ^^

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http://descrime.livejournal.com/

at 21:43 on 2009-12-15Wow, that... actually makes me want to watch the movie. I never really thought about HP from that direction before, but it's true that HP suffers a failure of imagination when it comes to letting the characters grow up. In looks, in personalities, and in interests, all the characters are simply older versions of their child selves with only a few exceptions.

I think Rowling had good stories to tell children, but those stupid Houses kept her from allowing her characters to grow up in an interesting fashion, because it set the character's basic traits in stone at eleven. I could see why she invented them in the first place as an easy way to make the school seem smaller for Harry and the reader. I don't think she had planned on the scope of HP to be as large as it ended up.

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Shim

at 22:17 on 2009-12-15So it looks like I'll have to give in and actually watch it. Should I watch the previous two as well?

There's a vague thought in my mind about the 'childish' elements of the books - Sneakoskopes and the like. That kind of thing, the mixture of fairly stark themes and absurdity, can actually work sometimes if you take a clear angle on it. So I've definitely read childrens' books where the absurdity takes over and people are merrily killed off, tortured (usually in ridiculous-sounding ways) and so on, without attempting to make those bits

ZOMG dark and serious

. At the other end, you can have Mature and Serious books with ridiculous ideas in - bits of Doctor Who (okay, that's rarely completely serious) spring to mind, but... well, Bouncing Bombs? Chasing off hordes of war elephants with music? And military types are prone to inventing irreverent nicknames, so frankly I can see hard-bitten SAS troopers talking about Puking Pastilles and Extendible Ears. The Biggles series, which are serious war stories despite the silly-sounding name, includes a really very sinister book that's mostly about deadly chewing-gum and another with insanity-causing flowers.

Offhand, the Deepwoods/Edge series does a reasonable job of combining silly and serious. For example, they have bizarre creatures and ridiculous outfits, but the people themselves take them perfectly seriously and some of the bizarre creatures are convincingly deadly.

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Sister Magpie

at 01:01 on 2009-12-16

In looks, in personalities, and in interests, all the characters are simply older versions of their child selves with only a few exceptions.

And that's very central to the plot, after all. As Dan said in an article article on Ferretbrain I quite liked:

The problem with Potter is that the "real world" of the Potterverse is so utterly childish. Harry is growing up into a world where everybody is still obsessed with school, where the only person that He Who Must Not Be Named is afraid of is his old teacher, where three fifteen year old kids competing in a school sporting event is international news. So Harry's journey is that of a child growing up and learning about the world, but what he learns is that there is no world outside of Hogwarts.

In GoF we saw hints of what people thought was a complex world, but instead of the world opening out what we really got was real-world things shrunk down to fit neatly inside Hogwarts: international diplomacy was like schools meeting for a tournament, but the principals squabble and we never hear from them again. The government is full of people who bustle around making copies and writing memos but not actually doing anything--except occasionally making rules about things like who gets to play Quidditch at school or whether or not the school groundskeeper can keep his job. Marriage is going to a dance with someone and actually enjoying it. The one guy the evil overlord is afraid of is the teacher none of the kids want to cross. Your job is the job that sounded cool to you at 12.

In this world it's not only believable it's expected that someone you hated at school you'll basically hate as an adult--which is necessary for the entire plot to work. Nobody in the whole series has a single motivation that wasn't created at school.

It actually works really well up until at least PoA, actually. I wonder if one of the reasons that book is so popular is that it's the high point of that kind of world-building when we look at Sirius, Snape and Lupin in the Shrieking Shack and the kids realize they were once just like them, but now they're adults. It's just ruined as they books try to follow the kids as they get older and you realize oh wait, it's not that they were once like kids, they are still kids. That's what changes it from a neat moment of seeing the kid inside the adult he now is to just...the first tip off that these characters are stunted.

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Jamie Johnston

at 01:45 on 2009-12-16

I freely admit that I only used subheadings in this article because I really wanted to use that line.

And rightly so.

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Sister Magpie

at 02:15 on 2009-12-16

@Sister Magpie By the way, I've been reading and LOVING your HP sporks on death to capslock. Just wanted to send love your way for those. ^^

Thanks so much! I keep trying to get myself to do the last two I haven't done, but I don't think I could handle DH again.

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Melissa G.

at 02:20 on 2009-12-16

I don't think I could handle DH again.

Definitely can't blame you for that one!

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Montavilla

at 04:44 on 2009-12-16Thanks for the review. I think the books and the films have a very interesting relationship--partly because of the "faithfulness" shown by both sides. There was, I recall, some speculation that the main actors would be jettisoned mid-series and the parts recast with younger, cuter ones.

But the producers remained faithful to their original leads, and the actors have remained faithful to the series--the only major role that has been recast is Dumbledore and only because Richard Harris died.

I can't imagine that the cast hasn't rubbed off on JKR. I think that Emma Watson (who I felt was miscast as Hermione was written in the earlier books) must have influenced the later Hermione. Late series Hermione is a lot more weepy and emotional than early series Hermione.

I'm glad to hear you defend the burrow scene. This was criticized heavily by fans, since it was NOT in the book. But I thought it made the war--which in the book was conveyed entirely by Ron and Hermione reading bits from the newspaper--something that could affect the audience.

Also, it made the Lupin/Tonks romance more real than the book, using only two lines instead of the countless appearances of Tonks with brown hair. I love the way that films can do this.

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Dan H

at 13:31 on 2009-12-16

I can't imagine that the cast hasn't rubbed off on JKR

Oh absolutely.

An observation I cut from an early draft of the article is that the HBP movie is interesting, because it's the film version of the first book which clearly shows the influence of the films. HBP Snape is *clearly* written with the idea that he would be played by Alan Rickman, so in the movie it comes full circle, and Rickman winds up playing Snape-as-played-by-Alan-Rickman.

Also, it made the Lupin/Tonks romance more real than the book, using only two lines instead of the countless appearances of Tonks with brown hair. I love the way that films can do this.

I found that it made Lupin/Tonks feel really creepy actually. You just look at her and realise that yes, he *really is* old enough to be her father.

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Andy G

at 13:59 on 2009-12-16

Dumbledore uses Harry to get at Slughorn's memory. Slughorn uses his students to validate himself, but Slughorn's students – both Harry and Voldemort - use him for their own purposes.

Was it just me, or were there overtones of seduction in the Slughorn/Voldemort and Slughorn/Harry relationships? By which I don't mean to get all Daily Mail-esque ("Slughorn is a paedo") or anything like that, but it seems there's a subtle suggestion of the possibility of a dynamic of that sort between them which would actually fit well with the analysis you've given. It made Dumbledore's use of Harry to get at Slughorn seem particularly questionable and manipulative.

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Dan H

at 15:15 on 2009-12-16I think there's certainly undertones (again, I think Riddle's use of the phrase "our little secret" was a deliberate choice) and there's certainly an implication that there's something not *entirely* appropriate about Slughorn.

But as you say, the film stays on the right side of OMG PAEDO!!

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Montavilla

at 15:29 on 2009-12-16I got that vibe from the book. I thought it was an interesting change from book to film, that in the book Dumbledore tells Harry about Slughorn "collecting" students in order to warn him. But in the film, it's prelude to Harry asking, "Shall I let him?"

Which was all kinds of creepy.

As for Lupin/Tonks. I can see how that creeped you out, although it didn't for me. (If I can watch Sean Connery and Catherina Zeta-Jones as a couple, then anything's possible.) But regardless of the ickiness of it, they still seemed much more believable than they do in the book.)

:)

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Arthur B

at 15:31 on 2009-12-16Also, I hate to be coarse, but the guy's name

is

Slughorn. That's quite disturbingly Freudian.

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Andy G

at 18:14 on 2009-12-16While we are being coarse ... weren't the broomsticks phallic in this film? I don't think entirely unintentionally - it was all part of the cocky oneupmanship and posturing going on during the quidditch, which felt quite authentically testosterone-driven.

@ Dan: I've never wondered about this before, but looking at our comments, I wonder if there is a difference between undertones and overtones? They seem to mean basically the same thing yet surely semantically they should be opposites ...

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Dan H

at 18:22 on 2009-12-16Hmm ... I think maybe overtones are more overt, undertones more subtle and more likely to be accidental? I'm not sure. Sort of overtones shape and frame something, while undertones underly and support it.

I'm not sure...

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Arthur B

at 18:41 on 2009-12-16Overtones are the ones that hang down from the ceiling of the cave, undertones are the ones that grow up out of the ground.

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Rami

at 19:00 on 2009-12-16According to the intertubes, overtones were originally just the higher pitches you could perceive but not hear in a piece of music; undertones where the analogous lower pitches. I never knew that, but it makes so much sense...

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Andy G

at 19:37 on 2009-12-16I'm in philosophy mode - how can you perceive a sound without hearing it?

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Andy G

at 19:37 on 2009-12-16I would like to apologise for digressing.

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Sister Magpie

at 20:15 on 2009-12-16

I'm in philosophy mode - how can you perceive a sound without hearing it?

Just guessing, but maybe it means that the music would sound different to you without the tones, but you can't hear the tones themselves. So you are perceiving their presence, you just can't hear them.

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Rami

at 20:54 on 2009-12-16

it means that the music would sound different to you without the tones, but you can't hear the tones themselves

There's also been

some research

around the idea that not-consciously-audible sounds can have interesting effects :-)

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Andy G

at 23:47 on 2009-12-16Ahh but is that *perception* I ask with my annoyingly pedantic/facetious philosophy hat on ;)

I considered the possibility of something like a background hum that you don't notice until it's gone. Which would be essentially a reworking of what Sister Magpie said.

Sartre said something similar about self-consciousness - your consciousness can't be directly conscious of itself because of circularity, but it is always aware of itself like a background hum.

Ahem. So, Harry Potter ...

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Guy

at 14:58 on 2009-12-17Wow, Neville is hot stuff!

How to perceive a sound without hearing it? If the soundwaves were inaudible to you (wearing earplugs, say) but caused a visible perturbation in some kind of sensitive material (like a string that had a resonant frequency, say) then you would be perceiving the sound with your eyes, but not hearing it. There's a book by Norman Doidge called "The Brain the Changes Itself" and one of the most fascinating things in it, to me, was about how people can, when equipped with the right... equipment, learn to "see" with their tongue.

I don't know why or if it's the "proper" interpretation, but I tend to think of overtones as being like, subtle allusions or things that remind you of other things (as in, "this film had overtones of Hitchcock") whereas undertones are kind of, I don't know, more abstract somehow, or to do with how something makes you feel (eg, "Peter's apparent munificence carried an unmistakable undertone of menace".) I guess in media outside music, "tone" is always going to be a kind of metaphor that doesn't quite perfectly map to the subject matter, although obviously the term is widely used because it's good at describing *something*...

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http://mary-j-59.livejournal.com/

at 16:18 on 2009-12-17Wow, Dan! I swore that I would not spend another penny on the Harry Potter franchise, but you make me almost want to see this movie. Almost. But (although I think there is some "film corruption" in the later books) I do disagree with you about one thing. I think, if the later films are more watchable than the books are readable, that isn't just because the kids are no longer twelve. It's because the scriptwriters have deliberately *changed their characters* to make them nicer and more mature than they are in the books. Harry's flirting with the waitress would certainly be one example; my livejournal friend, Terri-testing, has an essay in which she details several more. Basically, what it comes down to is that Harry's dark side is expunged, while Snape's is made more prominent. We don't see Harry merrily bullying random strangers, for one thing. This change started already in OOTP (the film), where Harry hands the prophecy bauble to Lucius in order to spare Neville torture. Not in the book! It's interesting (as Terri says) that the screenwriters make these changes in order to make Harry and co. more heroic. Had we seen onscreen what they actually do in the books, I think it would be glaringly obvious that Harry, in particular, is not a very nice kid.

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http://mary-j-59.livejournal.com/

at 16:22 on 2009-12-17Oh - if you're interested, here is the link to Terri's essay:

http://terri-testing.livejournal.com/21351.html

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Sister Magpie

at 17:52 on 2009-12-17

This change started already in OOTP (the film), where Harry hands the prophecy bauble to Lucius in order to spare Neville torture. Not in the book!

Oh, I think it happened before that. As I understand it, PoA "fixed" the scene where Draco gets slashed by Buckbeak in PoA as well. Probably because if you filmed that scene exactly as written it would be harder to take Hagrid and Buckbeak as innocent victim to the Malfoy pet murderers. As I remember hearing it, what Draco actually does in the book is given to Hagrid, while Draco behaves far more aggressively and provokingly.

Sorry, that's just always been something that's bothered me about PoA. That storyline just always seems like a real example of the narrative's stinginess of compassion that we get to laugh when the animal attacks the kid for the same reason Harry wants to attack him (he's annoying) and then play the soft-hearted victim about it. It's like something written by the Prioress in the Canterbury Tales.

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Frank

at 18:14 on 2009-12-17

Had we seen onscreen what they actually do in the books, I think it would be glaringly obvious that Harry, in particular, is not a very nice kid.

Harry has nothing on Hermione. That girl's overtones are disquieting in their dissonance.

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http://mary-j-59.livejournal.com/

at 04:25 on 2009-12-18Oh, yes. There was some debate on deathtocapslock about who would become the next Dark Lord, and many people pointed to Hermione. It's certainly either Hermione or Harry, and I'd agree Hermione is more the type - cleverer and more ambitious, and she really treats Ron quite badly. If he did to her what she does to him, we'd find him abusive. She is definitely disturbing - and she used to be an insecure, aggressive, but basically likable little girl!

But Harry is presented as a CHRIST FIGURE! Harry, the unrepentant torturer. Harry, who never has to change his mind or apologize for anything. That really bugs me, because I take Christ figures seriously. The symbolism means something to me, and to see it so misused was just offensive.

Getting off track, though. The main point is that, by the end of DH, these are not nice kids. Ron is the best of the trio, certainly, but even he has obvious flaws; I find both Harry and Hermione disturbing. In the movies, their actions are sanitized and even twisted to make them conform to standard morality. And that's one reason the movies may work better than the books.

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 22:41 on 2009-12-18Stepping in to crow about having figured out how to use OpenID. My emailed request for a username is now redundant.

I LOVE deathtocapslock, by the way, thank you so much for introducing me to it. That site, and all of the HP discussion on here, will be enormously helpful to my Slytherin!Harry fic.

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Melissa G.

at 22:56 on 2009-12-18Adding to the Ron/Hermione books vs. movies discussion, I was watching OotP movie other day, and I found the bantering between Ron and Hermione quite cute and sweet and definitely not as filled with malice as it appears in the books. In the books, it really seems like they have nothing in common outside Harry to the extent that you wonder what they talk about when he's not around. I remember in the OotP movie a cute little moment when Ron is badgering Hermione to help him with an essay, and she tells him she'll do the intro and that's it while wearing a little smile on her face. It was much more like she knew he could write it but she was willing to give him a little push in the right direction to help him out. Which doesn't seem to the be the way the books portray her doing their homework for them (Harry and Ron) all the time....

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http://musingsandscribblings.blogspot.com/

at 20:58 on 2009-12-20Great review. I haven't watched any of the movies since Goblet of Fire and the latter books made me less inclined. But your review gives me some hope for the movie series over the book series.

I'm glad they didn't tar and feather Slughorn. He was one of my favorite characters.

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http://marionros.livejournal.com/

at 12:55 on 2009-12-22Those bloody movies very subtly whitewash the nastiness that is the books.

http://terri-testing.livejournal.com/21351.html#cutid1

A few examples: during Occlumency lessons, the books show Snape complimenting Harry when he succesfully repels him from his mind and glimpses scenes from Snape's mind about Snape's rotten childhood. Snape has to leave, which gives Harry the opportunity to sneak into his teacher's private Pensieve memories. When Snape discovers this tresspass, he throws the lil' bastid out.

In the movie, Snape throws Harry out when he succesfully repells Snape and sees his childhood memories.

BookHarry uses the Halfblood Prince's spells to bully and hex children he doesn't like and the unpopular Squib caretaker from behind. Not so in the movie.

BookHarry hides the book after slicing Draco into hospital because he wants to keep on using it and its containing hexes. In the movie, he feels anxious about the book and asks Ginny to hide it from him so he wouldn't be tempted by it.

The movie clearly wants to make us believe that it is the book and its author that is evil, and not pure-as-fallen-snow Harry while in the books it is Harry himself who misuses the spells and hints to cheat and bully, and it is made clear by the author (JKR) that Harry is justified to do so!

I know that I should feel relieved that the scriptwriters and producers of the movies at least recognise that the original Harry Potter is an evil little turd and the author of the books quite mad, but at the same time I'm furious that the malignent narcissistic psychobitch gets even richer than she already is by allowing her twaddle to be filmed.

Grrr....

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http://nykinora.livejournal.com/

at 13:54 on 2009-12-22Hmmm. The whole 'who-is-the-worst-of-the-trio' debate. They ALL suck imo. That said, I *never* bought into the argument that Ron being the most 'normal' or (gag) 'relatable' of the three kids (i.e. a so-called 'typical teenage boy etc.) made him a beter, more interesting, sympathetic or compelling character.

Yeah sure, Harry is an utter tool, nasty and a cipher in every respect but Ron, to me, is plain tiresome while his (un)'relationship' with Hermione was manipulative on both ends, boring to read about and stank of mutual abuse and disrespect on both sides.

I took an initial dislike to Ron the instant I encountered the character and there was little that he did throughout the series that dispelled my initial impression that he was greedy, lazy, thoughtless, smug (when he wasn't wildly insecure) and complacent as hell. While Hermione can be annoying and patronising about the Wizarding world, at least she thinks to actually ask some damned questions. Ron, however, swallows everything he's ever been told from birth - and *never* progresses beyond that default position.

I always read the character as a toady. He was an envious, covetous, mean-spirited little jerk who simultaneously worshipped yet resented Harry (as if Harry, of all people, needed a cult) and spent most of his time competing with Hermione for the position of Harry's right-hand man. Not to mention he takes out his mediocrity complex on the 'lesser' Hermione - since he wouldn't dare do it with Harry, save for the brief falling out in Book 4.

He struck me as one of those slimy, dangerous guys who is always looking out for someone who is worse off or lower than him in the social pecking simply to feel better about himself, while resenting anyone who he perceives to be better than him. (Hence his continual disdain for Neville who is more his own person than Ron could ever hope to be. He's every bit as much of a physical buffoon as Neville - minus the sensitivity or the brains - yet somehow he imagines he's superior?)

As for Ron and gender politics? Nothing cute or funny about him in that respect and he's downright creepy at times in the way that he treats Lavender, Ginny and Hermione.

Harry's hollow blandness started to bug by book 3 (he's so redundant, coddled and uninteresting), whereas Hermione's slavish devotion to two guys who routinely use her for homework was always of concern along with the misguided liberalism, prissiness and vengeful streak. (She's pretty much a proxy for JKs own self-hatred anyway.) Still, the plot couldn't function without her whereas Ron was always a needless adjunct.

However, by the time she's crying hysterically, attacking Ron with canaries, being a moral hypocrite oh - and washing Ron's socks, I had ceased to care about the character even if she at one point was the only one with a functioning brain cell and tad of wit. (And the way I see it, nominating Hermione as a candidate for future Dark Lord? Is an unintentional compliment to the character, especially once you see what the 'good' guys are like...)

If the movie tackles what I have seen as one of the central problems of the Potter series then that's good. I am completely with Dan. HP is supposed bildungsroman yet nobody ever grows the hell up - as the god-awful epilogue alone can attest to - and where the characters are superficially put through the motions of adolescence then adulthood minus any of the emotions or even physical sensations that accompany it. JK criticises Blyton, but at least Blyton wasn't stupid enough to mistake lashings of '(faux) dark content' with a mature premise or storyline, or think that it equated to the automatic maturation of her characters.

JK's problem was that she wanted it both ways, as usual. She wanted the sugary, uncomplex school story and all of its attendant values fixed firmly in place yet simultaneously wanted the accolades attached to being A Serious Adult Writer with all of the decorative trappings of 'heavy themes' (Nazis, WWII, class, race, discrimination etc. in an attempt to provide depth and scope) What we got instead, was a nonsensical mess as it failed on both fronts in the end and managed to be neither.

(Even when she tries to move beyond the setting of Hogwarts in the last book and plot structurally collapses, the spirit of Hogwarts still instructs the text and the characters' actions. The books never stop being a moral school story.)

Anyway... *Even* if the film is an improvement on the steaming pile of poo of HBP - it still sounds like a case of someone cleaning JK's crap up and retrospectively providing the much-needed editing that the the books should have had in the first place...

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http://katsullivan.insanejournal.com/

at 15:05 on 2009-12-22

BookHarry hides the book after slicing Draco into hospital because he wants to keep on using it and its containing hexes. In the movie, he feels anxious about the book and asks Ginny to hide it from him so he wouldn't be tempted by it.

Wow! Now that would have been a story worth reading. I think it tells a lot about their opinion of the original source material that the film writers have to change so much about the story for it to work.

JK criticises Blyton, but at least Blyton wasn't stupid enough to mistake lashings of '(faux) dark content' with a mature premise or storyline, or think that it equated to the automatic maturation of her characters.

I'm in the minority in thinking that Blyton's characters actually grow up a tremendous lot for children's book characters. Darrel Rivers gets a grip on a temper that is never depicted as a good thing (unlike say, any one of the seven Weasleys). June, Alicia's bratty sneak of a cousin, becomes somebody admirable when the girl who was mentoring her for a bet breaks her leg in the last book and June, who had quit a few chapters earlier, returns to court for both the broken-leg mentor and her own self-dignity. I don't know of any HP character that you can read up in Book 7 that is in anyway different from the person you met in Book 1. But maybe that is the point Rowling was after with, "your choices show who you are".

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http://quimtessence.livejournal.com/

at 04:34 on 2009-12-25Initially, I had written a rather extensive comment/rant, but I think you've covered pretty well most of the things I was going to say, in one way or another.

Instead, I think my rant could be boiled down to: This movie version of HBP sounds similar to what I expected the book to be like. The real book. The one that millions of people queued up to buy the second it came out and which took her years to put together/write.

That's.. kind of sad. I'm actually siding with a major Hollywood movie that, although it features brilliant actors, I never thought myself siding with.

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Robinson L

at 00:02 on 2010-01-20Interesting analysis, Dan. (You know, I should just devise a program to add that phrase automatically to the beginning of every article of yours I respond to. With a drop down box for the first word with the “great” and “interesting” as options.)

But for me ... no. Not at all. The movie had its good points, I'll grant, and it may have put a better spin on certain aspects of the original, tweaked some details, that sort of thing. But all-in-all, it was just the same idiot plot with the same idiot characters 'far as I could see. Might've been improvements around the edges, but the the story they were working off of sucked to the core, and the movie completely failed to overcome that, in my opinion.

I suppose there was more to the Harry/Ginny romance in this movie than in the books. On the other hand, Ptolemaeus has always been a Harry/Hermione shipper, even now that she hates the series. Consequently, that pairing has always been on my radar, and while watching

Half-Blood Prince

it occurred to me that—in movie canon, anyway—she really does have a point. I'm not a shipper (if anything, I was rooting for Harry to blow off the whole wizarding world and go out with the Muggle waitress) but even I saw that he and Hermione went very well together, in this movie, anyways.

Now as for that Christmas sequence at the Burrow. I had high hopes for that scene when I first saw it, but realistically I expected it to bomb and in that respect, I was not disappointed. Sure, it starts out good, until you discover that instead of coming to the Burrow to do something truly mad like, I don't know, kill, kidnap, or otherwise harm Harry, Ginny, or anyone, really, Bellatrix and Greyback only came to play a bit of hide-and-seek with them and indulge in a spot of arson, which couldn't really have any impact on account of never being mentioned again. I mean, seriously, what were they hoping to accomplish there, scare Harry to death?

I think it was – actually embarrassingly I've forgotten his name, Mike Smith I think, the guy who did the Half-Blood Prince review who observed that one of his major problems with the Potter series was that it was impossible to take all of the Dark Serious Themes seriously, because they were presented side-by-side with things like Sneakoskopes and Puking Pastilles.

That's right, Mike Smith. And I do think he was the one who made that point.

I had a problem with the sequence where the Death Eaters come back from killing Dumbledore, too—similar to my problem with the scene at the Burrow. For me, the image of destruction was

not

remarkably effective because I was sitting there thinking, 'seriously? That's all you're going to do?' Now if they'd been blasting students and teachers left and right, or at least making a concerted effort to do some real

damage

that would've been one thing. As it was, both sequences came off as displays of childish high spirits, which, when it comes to behavior suitable for the top lieutenants of the Dark Lord, is several steps above getting-your-arses-handed-to-you-by-a-bunch-of-teenagers, but is still something which I'd think rather beneath them. I can't see the CIA jumping out of trees at Fidel Castro going “Boo!” or trashing his house in a fit of pique. (Methodically searching his house, maybe, but not trashing it.)

The first seems to be there purely to explain where the book got its title, the second seems to be there to highlight how little Harry truly understands about his world.

Funny, I took it the former way both times, but with it making even less sense in the movie because the whole Half-Blood Prince thing factored in even less.

@ Shimmin: Personally, I wouldn't use Doctor Who as an example, because while it's got childish and silly down pretty well, I generally find its attempts to be Mature and Serious—well, childish and silly. And not in a good way. More in a “I'm J K Rowling and what I'm writing is Big and Meaningful, you got that?” way.

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http://mmmarcusz.livejournal.com/

at 02:32 on 2010-04-28

The key to defeating Voldemort is knowledge and control. Slughorn has knowledge, and Dumbledore needs it. Dumbledore uses Harry to get at Slughorn's memory. Slughorn uses his students to validate himself, but Slughorn's students – both Harry and Voldemort - use him for their own purposes. Voldemort uses Draco to get at Dumbledore, and Dumbledore uses Snape to protect Draco and Harry. It's wheels within wheels on a scale Rowling never allowed us to imagine, because she would never allow us to interpret Dumbledore as being genuinely manipulative.

I'm reminded of one of my favourite posts on the "Deathtocapslock" forum - McLaggen expects Harry to favour him because they're both Slughorn's favourites - Harry tells him to become one of Dumbledore's favourite's, then they'll talk! The morality of Dumbledore's establishing an extra-governmental armed group (with tentacles in all offices of the Ministry of Magic) is never questioned, because he is a Good Guy.

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Arthur B

at 09:00 on 2010-04-28I'm sure I've said this at least three times before, but it still astounds me that Rowling thinks that the Potter series encourages kids to think for themselves and question authority, when over the entire series Harry basically trusts a major authority figure in his life (and this trust turns out to be entirely justified). The real lesson is "question authority, unless it looks kind and gives you sweets and dislikes the same people you dislike - then you should obey."

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Dan H

at 14:59 on 2010-04-29To be fair, this is a relatively common type of lazy thinking. See jokes passim ad nauseam about [SUBCULTURE X] rebelling against conformity in manner which seems uniform to outsiders.

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Sister Magpie

at 17:17 on 2010-04-29

To be fair, this is a relatively common type of lazy thinking. See jokes passim ad nauseam about [SUBCULTURE X] rebelling against conformity in manner which seems uniform to outsiders.

I agree. The idea basically is that Dumbledore doesn't listen to the official authority, so following Dumbledore's authority is thinking for yourself.

I'm more disturbed by the lazy thinking in other places that mirrors that kind of thing. Like how it imo encourages double standards for behavior rather than really thinking about the morality of different situations. Or most of all for me the laziness of the "plea for tolerance" set up that's more like a big pat on the back for anyone who doesn't consider him/herself a racist. (Which is pretty much everyone.)

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Viorica

at 21:22 on 2010-04-29

To be fair, this is a relatively common type of lazy thinking. See jokes passim ad nauseam about [SUBCULTURE X] rebelling against conformity in manner which seems uniform to outsiders.

Most people go through that phase. When I was fourteen, I refused to wear anything resembling fashionable because people who dressed fashionable = people who were nasty to me at school = TEH EVOL. (On the other hand, wearing stuff that was definitely

un

fashionable was the antithesis of that they would do, and was therefore Good.) Of course, most people grow out of that by the time they're sixteen or so.

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Frank

at 04:55 on 2010-04-30

Or most of all for me the laziness of the "plea for tolerance" set up that's more like a big pat on the back for anyone who doesn't consider him/herself a racist.

...even though they are towards Muggles.

Not the lynching, white conservative type of racism, more like the disregarding, white liberal kind. imo

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Sister Magpie

at 16:00 on 2010-04-30

...even though they are towards Muggles. Not the lynching, white conservative type of racism, more like the disregarding, white liberal kind. imo

And pretty much everyone else as well as Muggles. The whole "we're not bigots" mostly rests completely on whether or not you consider Muggleborns just as good as everyone else as wizards. (And also whether you accept as wizards people with embarassing ties to other groups who pass as wizards.)

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Orion

at 02:52 on 2015-07-06Apologies for the extreme necro, but this made me smile: I can't see the CIA jumping out of trees at Fidel Castro going “Boo!” or trashing his house in a fit of pique. Because it sounds like the words of someone who doesn't know the CIA very well. These are the guys behind plans like "drive domestic left-wing activists to madness by letting air out their tires while they sleep." (Unless I misremember and that was the cops) There's really nothing too silly to imagine the CIA doing it.

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Robinson L

at 20:36 on 2015-07-06Ha, good point, Orion; I may have overestimated the CIA's level of professionalism.

On the other hand, I feel like, as evil organizations devoted to imposing their own despotic will upon the world go, the CIA has enough street credit that they can get away with quite a bit of silliness alongside it. The Death Eaters, not so much.

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http://kitsune9tailed.livejournal.com/

at 06:56 on 2015-07-28I was with you up until here:

"One gets the impression that Rowling who – if I may make an impertinent assumption – does not give the impression of having been an especially bright spark at school"

This was just a petty jab at someone and crossed the line from criticizing someone's work to a direct personal, and shameful insult. I am sorry that you felt your criticism of the series (which, although I disagree with it, I was fascinated to read and try to understand the points) was so weak that it had to have an extra little punch by calling someone stupid or uneducated simply because you disagree with their body of work.

So, shame on you and I sincerely hope you grow to be a better person than this.

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Show / Hide Comments -- More in December 2009

[asoue-sideblog]

Oliia Caliban

show Olivia:

favorite thing about them

she just really loves the kids man!!! look at her face when she’s done pulling off her disguise in TCC… look how happy and moved she is to see the Baudelaires again

least favorite thing about them

she advanced the “volunteers as cool spies that are trying super hard to be helpful” subplot in the Netflix show which I really dislike, plus I can’t watch her scenes without mentally comparing them to other material I would have preferred (e.g. Quagmire screentime + characterization or exploring the Jacques/Jerome relationship from Unauto)

also the racist disguise. I mean that’s not really her fault in-character but I gotta mention it.

favorite line

can’t recall exact dialogue, but when Nero busted her with kids in the library and she tried to convince him he was dreaming

brOTP

given the “you’re dreaming” scene I reference above and Larry Your-Waiter’s physical comedy at Café Salmonella, I think Olivia and Larry could be a really funny duo

OTP

I find Jacques/Olivia annoying given its context, but the content itself was okay. It had some cute moments! If you transplanted their interactions to like... the pilot of a quirky spy show or something, and beefed up their characterization, I could ship it.

nOTP

I find Jacques/Olivia annoying given its context

random headcanon

Prufrock has strong VFD ties, and there are (or were) volunteers who are significant donors or on the board of trustees (or whatever Prufrock has). Hence it has a genuinely impressive library and the school administration is explicitly tasked with keeping that library in good condition. That’s why Nero hired a very competent, well-qualified librarian. However, as VFD’s influence waned and she kept whining about petty nonsense like “stop abusing the children” or “every existing pedagogical theory condemns these teaching methods”, he started trying to harass her into quitting. By the time of TAA, she had given up on changing Prufrock and was just trying to keep the library open as long as possible as a refuge for kids like the Quagmires.

unpopular opinion

@unfortunate-stranger-losers is right, she’s closer to the Quagmires than the Baudelaires and if she adopted anyone it would be them

I believe book Olivia is more effective at creating and advancing the narrative, and would have preferred to see her book characterization expanded on rather than being replaced by what is essentially an original character. But I really briefly skimmed TCC when I reread (or read...? that might be one of the books I never read originally) and she didn’t strike me as that fleshed-out of a character anyways, so I couldn’t fill out this meme for her.