#(and I will always say the context behind them is so so much worse if you know Darren Shan you might be able to guess but uh yah)

[multiheadcanons]

THE MERCS AS SONG LYRICS BUT I WROTE THE SONGS THE LYRICS COME FROM AND THERES NO CONTEXT AT ALL BECAUSE THESE SONGS AREN’T ANYWHERE FOR YOU TO HEAR THE CONTEXT (MAYBE ONE DAY)

scout: “i’m teeny but you still look up to me so stay squeaky” i don’t know why when i go through my files that this line always stands out to me when i read it. something about it is cheeky; it’s a smart-ass, corny ass comeback to something i personally have heard most of my life. and i think scout would say “stay squeaky” as a warning too. keep your shit clean, because scout will know if it’s not. he’ll go out of his way to find out what dirt there is on you.

soldier: “and i won’t ask you to wait for me/i’ll be free all year, i guarantee” soldier is a man who moves to the militaristic beat of his own drum. he doesn’t really think he’s too far ahead, or behind, his peers. and he doesn’t need his hand held if he finds out he is either. he is content with himself. he is content even when he’s dead. and he’s always available. so nobody should be worried about him either. he can handle himself. damn. i miss you rick. you were a good man.

pyro: “you may not be the sun but baby, you are my star!” pyro is not my personal absolute favorite character (i think we all know who that is) but that doesn’t stop pyro from being one of my FAVORITE characters to write about! pyro is fascinating because i can essentially say pyro is whatever i want them to be, and as long as i’m hitting a few key points of what we do know about pyro i am well within the confines of canon. pyro is my star. they’ve grown to mean so much to me. but i’ve also never really seen a characterization of pyro that i have really liked and enjoyed; and i’m still not sure if i even like my characterization of pyro! but dammit, this pyro is my pyro. there are many others like them, but this one is mine. pyro is like an s-tier self insert.

demo: “when i get involved, it’s getting worse than intended” this whole verse that this line very specifically is in is soooo funny to me, personally. it’s explosive, it’s vicious, it’s humorous! it’s a lightning strike of so many sentences coming at you. and it’s demo the man. very particularly this line, because to me, if demo is in on something it’s about to go so far out of left field nobody will be able to stop it. he’s learned he is a man who can hear gossip, and shouldn’t get himself involved in it. doesn’t stop him from stepping in sometimes! sometimes you just need a little oomph!

heavy: “i find the bright to be a fickle kind” anyone here a legends of avantris fan? i initially wrote this while watching icebound in my car in the middle of a winter’s night, freezing my ass off because i didn’t want to turn my car on and disturb my neighbors. and i looked up, and the sky was crystal clear; and the moon was directly above me. so i wrote a love song to the winter moon, while listening to a bunch of dnd characters suffer in an icy wasteland. there’s something about big quiet men from already bitterly cold regions that i do think they have an emotional connection to the moon. to its fickle nature in appearance. and i think heavy thinks a lot about what the people who surround him say about him. something about the men he’s grown close with. they bode ill omens. he can’t shake the feeling.

engineer: “communion wine, do you think it’ll save you?” that man knows what he’s doing at all times. he has sacrificed many morals to get where he is now. and he knows there is no coming back. as nice as he may be. he’s an eternal ticking time bomb. it just depends on what’s going to blow up in his face first and take him from this realm of existence. and he knows he’s not seeing the pearly gates. he enjoys what he does far too much.

medic: “the keys lie somewhere between marrow and bone” i didn’t realize i actually wrote this song about the doctor until i went back through and read it. i actually innately understand the doctor because i am him frfr. i was genuinely going batshit insane when i wrote that, overcome and consumed by an obsession i could not and still can not let go of, and watching a lot of saw. and the only way i could let it go is when i get what i need. but it’s lodged so deep, i will have to break myself to get to it. the doctor is willing to break others to get it.

sniper: “i know what i am in.” snipes isn’t dumb. snipes is keenly aware of every decision he’s made that has gotten him to this point. the issue he finds with it is he doesn’t know where else he would go from here. he wouldn’t know what other decisions to make in the past to change what he became today. all he’s done is remain as truthful to himself as he could be; and he’s really banking on that being enough to get him by.

spy: “it sorts the foes from confidants.” spy is discerning, a purposeful and professional metaphorical button pusher. and it’s his dickish nature that is one of his best litmus tests to discern who he can trust and who he can’t. and if you’re not with spy, you are indeed against him. and he treats you accordingly.

[dragontamer05]

/ some of my best enrage and anguished Tim images I got

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Trust In Battle Scars

Summary: Joel Miller x Fe!Reader -> Even if you haven't always liked Joel, you've trusted him. And he's trusted you.

Disclaimer: Heavy smut, mentions of battle scars, blood, being buried alive, torture and murder (Joel hurts bad guys), swearing throughout. This is an 18+ so MDNI. Angst and fluff spread throughout. Joel takes care of Reader, maybe unlikely friends-to-lovers. Long fic. Not Proof Read.

Joel kicked the door open once more with his foot as he helped you inside, Tommy already inside throwing things away from the sofa to let you sit down. 

“Joel, I’m fine. Honestly.”

“You’re hurt and bleeding. You’re fine, my ass.”

He helped you onto the sofa before he stood back, propped his gun up by the wall and started to take off his jacket. “Ellie, go and get the-”

She appeared by his side, the first aid kit already in hand. “Here.”

“Hot water from the kettle.”

“On it!”

You held onto your side, feeling the blood slowly soaked your clothes. “I’m fine. You don’t need to make a fuss. I’ve survived through worse.”

But Joel was already on his knees, rolling up his sleeves and opening up the kit beside him on the floor. 

“If I let you out of my sight, you’d just let this fester until you collapsed.”

You shook your head. “No I wouldn’t. I’d clean it myself.”

Through the front door, Tommy, Maria and a couple of others who had been there to see you get hurt came through the door just as Ellie came back inside with a large bowl of hot water before running upstairs to go and get fresh towels. 

Joel reached out for the hem of your top but you recoiled back. “No…I’m okay.”

Looking around, Maria was asking her husband a thousand questions and the others were staring at where the blood was soaking your shirt and hands. 

He looked between you and everyone else before yelling; “Everyone out!”

“Towels.” Ellie placed them by his side. 

“Ellie, get everyone out.”

She took what Joel asked seriously. Turning on her heel, she started ushering people outside. 

“Ellie?”

She looked back from the door. 

“Keep ‘em out.”

She gave Joel a mock salute before closing the front door behind her and Joel sat back on his heels, his hands on his hips. His voice sounded less hurried when he spoke again. 

“They’re gone. They can’t see from here.”

You were weary but slowly started to remove your jacket, Joel helping pull it from your arms before reaching for the hem of your top. 

“Think I’m gonna need your help.” Joel just nodded and helped you anyway. Lifting the t-shirt over your head, he took in your body. Under any other context the thoughts at the back of his head would be at the front. But he was too concerned with the hole in your abdomen to think about much else. 

Across your body there were different sized scars. A couple bullet wounds that had healed over the last couple of months, if not years. Gashes – some were deeper than others but they’d healed over. There were a couple of fresh grazes on your stomach from where you’d fallen afterwards, but they’d heal on their own. 

“This is gonna hurt.” He couldn’t lie to you. 

You nodded in understanding. “I know. But I trust you.”

But I trust you.

That was something you’d been telling him since you met him. Even if you hadn’t gotten along the best, you’d always trusted him. When you first got shot, you hadn’t told anyone. You’d kept it to yourself all day, but Joel had noticed you twitching and hissing each time you hiked your pack higher on your back. So, by the time night fell and the others said you’d gone to bed, he’d gone looking for you. 

He found you by the river bed, biting on your lip to keep yourself from crying out in pain. The bullet was still there. 

You’d flinched when you heard his boots on the rocks of the riverbank, but he held his hands up. “Relax, it’s just me.” 

He didn’t say anything else for a while, just walked closer to you before sitting on a rock beside you and holding up a light. 

“Hold this.” He told you before taking a look for himself. You and Joel, at that point, had probably shared two sentences at most since first meeting. 

“Yeah, it’s still there. You able to stay still?” 

You nodded nervously. 

Joel just nodded. “Okay. This is gonna hurt so…take a breath.”

You did so and the next two minutes were the most painful you’d ever experienced outside of being sung the Happy Birthday song. 

Joel pulled it out and pressed a bound cloth to your shoulder before reaching down into the small pack he’d brought with him. Holding up a small needle and thread, he went to stitch you up but then faltered. 

You just nodded. “I trust you.”

He took that as enough confirmation to continue. By the time he finished, he leaned forward and snapped away the rest of the thread with his teeth before washing the cloth in the river and cleaning away the blood from his hands and your shoulder. From there, he moved the strap of your top back up to help hold the gauze and tape in place. 

After that day, watching Joel walk back up the stones and towards the smaller camp, you and him talked a little more. Until eventually you became friends. And out of everyone, you trusted him the most. 

And you figured he felt the same about you considering you were the only one he’d let touch him after he got cut. He’d assured Tommy he was okay, he’d yelled at Tess telling her he was fine, and everyone else had been warned away with a look. 

But that didn’t work with you. He wished it did, but it didn’t. 

You’d opened his apartment door, finding Tess and Tommy stood outside. Tess was growing more and more annoyed and Tommy was looking like he’d been punched in the gut. 

You didn’t have to ask them what happened, you just walked inside and for as much as they wanted to follow you inside, they didn’t. The door closed behind you and you found Joel standing inside the bathroom in front of the mirror trying to clean up his wound. 

“What the hell happened?” 

Joel found you looking at him through the mirror. “Nothin’.”

“Sure as hell doesn’t look like nothin’.” You marched into the bathroom to get a better look as he tried to swat you away. “You need stitches.”

“I can do it myself.”

“Go and sit down. I’ll do ‘em.”

You watched as Joel went to open his mouth to say something, so you took the cloth out of his hands and stood back. “Joel Miller, so help me god, you go and sit your ass on that sofa before I kick you into next week.”

It took him a moment, but he sighed. Anyone else would have backed down when he maintained their eye contact, but not you. 

“You know, I’m meant to be the patient here. Aren’t nurses meant to have a nice bedside manner?” He asked you as he walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa. 

You laughed as you ran the tap to clear the blood from the cloth before marching across the apartment and into the kitchen towards the kettle to boil some water. 

“Luckily for you, I’m not your nurse.”

You kept looking over your shoulder to Joel on the sofa who lay back and closed his eyes, trying his best to breath through the pain. Once the kettle finally finished, you poured the water into a bowl before carrying it over to the coffee table. 

“Lie down.”

Opening one of his eyes, Joel looked at you as you sat on the coffee table. You weren’t gonna budge. 

“Lie down,” you repeated. And with a heavy sigh, he did as he was told. 

From there, you lifted his top as far as you could get it before ringing out the cloth and shaking your hand to stop the burning. 

You hesitated. “This might hurt so…take a deep breath.”

He did so as you pressed the cloth to his wound. A deep grunt came from his chest as his hand shot out and gripped onto your wrist. “Take it easy.”

Looking from his face, to his wound, you gave a small smirk. “The man everyone fears in Boston and yet he can’t take a little hot water.”

“Are you always this heavy handed?” 

“You’re just sensitive to pain.”

“Why don’t we swap positions and see if it’s just me being sensitive to pain.” 

You chuckled. “Alright, alright. I’ll be lighter.”

You dabbed at his wound once more and he finally lay his head back and closed his eyes. “Happy?”

Joel just let out a noise from the back of his throat so you continued the way you were. “What the hell even happened?”

“Some bastard came out of nowhere and took a swing at Tess.” Joel grunted through his explanation as you continued to clean his wound before sterilising the needle. “I shot at him but he seemed to get there before me.”

“You’re gonna have to apologise to her, by the way. She’s probably still pacing outside that door.”

“I know,” Joel admitted. “I’ve heard her since she slammed the door.”

“She’s your girlfriend, Joel.” He looked at you. “Or whatever the hell you want to call it. Look, just apologise. She’ll forgive you.” Then you gave him a small smile. “You got stabbed for her. She can’t stay mad at you.”

Joel let out a small scoff in a laugh. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“I’d say look away, but you’re gonna feel this anyway. So, countdown from ten?”

Joel nearly shot up. “From ten?”

But then you stuck the needle into him and he grabbed your wrist again, throwing his head back. “What happened to ten?”

“Surprise, I guess.”

“Surprise, she says. As if she’s not sticking a fucking needle into my skin.”

You rolled your eyes. “Quit whining. I didn’t complain this much when you did it.”

Joel grunted again and squeezed your wrist. “Just…take it easy.”

You did so and eventually you finished, wrapping the thread around your finger and pulling until it snapped. You cleaned the wound once more before shocking him and pouring a little alcohol over the top. 

He shot up when you did that and found a smile on your face as you screwed the cap back onto the bottle. “Now apologise to Tess.”

You stood and made your way towards the door. 

“Y/n.”

You looked back before opening the door. “Thank you,”

You nodded with a small smile. “Anytime, Miller.”

Opening the door, you told Tess he’d live before heading back to work. 

There were more moments like that over the years, but the more scars you gathered, the more questions that would get asked by those closest to you. But out of everyone, you trusted Joel. He never asked questions. Frankly, he already knew the stories to each of your scars having been the one to patch them up in the first place. 

So when you said you trusted Joel, you meant it. 

Kneeling up, he warned you before he pressed the cloth to your side where you groaned and gripped onto his shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“I know, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I trust you.”

Joel just nodded and continued what he was doing. Every now and again he’d feel your nails dig into his shirt as he cleaned your wound before he had to stitch it up. 

“Just a little longer.” 

You forced a hum to let him know you heard him. 

“Wanna lie down?”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t wanna move.”

“Can you lean back for me?”

It took you a moment, but you nodded. 

“Okay.” Joel guided you back carefully, his eyes on you as yours remained shut tight. “Take it easy. That’s it. This is gonna hurt.”

You shook your head. “Just do it. I trust you.”

Joel nodded even though you couldn’t see him. So, guiding your hand back to his arm, he held it down firmly. “When it hurts, just squeeze.”

“Joel, it’s a needle. It’s gonna hurt.”

“You trust me?” You listened to his question before nodding. “Then just squeeze. This is a deep one. It’s gonna take me a while.”

“Okay.”

As Joel inserted the needle, your body reacted, pushing up and gripping onto his shoulder. You tried your best to take deep breaths, listening to Joel’s voice as he told you where he was at, how close he was to finishing. 

“Just one more, okay?”

“Okay.”

Leaning over, Joel cut the threat with this teeth once more before leaning back, keeping his eyes on you to make sure yours were still closed before he poured out a little alcohol onto a dry cloth. 

“Take a deep breath.”

“Why?”

Joel pressed it to your wound and you sat up, your eyes going wide before shutting. Leaning forward into him, your hand gripped his shoulder tightly. He was sure to have bruises on his arm later on but if it meant you got through your pain, he’d live with them happily. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Please tell me it’s done.”

Joel nodded. “All done. But you’re gonna need a shower. Think you’ve dragged half of the forest back with you.” There was a lightness in Joel's tone, you only wished you could feel it in yourself more. 

Standing up, Joel threw everything into a pile before holding his hands out. “Come on, let’s go.”

It took ten minutes but eventually Joel got you to the bathroom and started the shower for you. 

“Think you’ll be okay?”

You nodded. “Should be. Thank you.”

Joel made his way out of the door, leaving it open a crack. “I’ll be outside the door if you need me, so just…call out.”

You nodded, thanking him once more before getting undressed and stepping into the shower. You watched as the water went from clear to filled with old blood, new blood, mud, dirt, a few leaves from inside your hair and eventually back to clear after you got completely clean. 

Once you’d towel dried your hair, you wrapped another around your body, you stepped out of the bathroom after standing in the middle of it for a moment, so many thoughts running around your head, none of them were clear enough to remember. 

Then you found Joel. He’d been sitting on the top step outside the bathroom door. He stood quickly and took a breath. He didn’t say anything; he didn’t have to. But when you took a step closer to him, you were mere seconds away from him stepping towards you and wrapping you in his arms. 

A hand in your wet hair, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head whilst his other hand held you against his body. “Thank you for helping me.”

“I’ll always help you.”

After a moment, you stepped back and nodded, wiping your eyes before he could see. But he’d already caught them. Extending his hand out to you, he brushed his thumb under your eye. 

“Come on, I left you some clothes in the spare room.”

You followed Joel towards the spare bedroom where he left you to get dressed. And once you were, you walked downstairs where you found Joel heating up some soup in the kitchen. 

“Ellie’s gonna stay at Tommy’s tonight.” Joel told you. “And you’re gonna stay here.”

“There’s enough room for Ellie to be here, too, Joel.”

He nodded as he placed a bowl of soup in front of you. “I know. But she’s an eavesdropper and I want the truth. This way, it stays between me and you.”

You knew it was a shit lie when you told him as much when you’d all met back up at the bottom of the hill. If it had been just the others, you could have hidden it well enough so they wouldn’t have noticed. But not with Joel. 

He was right through you. And he saw right through the lie. 

“It’s nothing, Joel.”

“Bullshit.”

“Can we at least eat before you start the interrogation?”

Joel eventually agreed. And so you ate in silence. Until you couldn’t take it anymore and hoped to distract him for a while. So, you asked about Ellie. About her school and her homework. You asked about his jobs working down by the gardens digging up new space for some more allotments. 

Before you knew it, the sun had long been set and you and Joel were sitting on the sofa just talking. Until finally a silence settled over you both and Joel’s hand came to your leg. 

“You’re gonna have to tell me sooner or later. Unless you really want to know how loud Ellie snores?”

“I really do.”

“Y/n.”

You took in a breath and sighed before sitting up straight. “Okay. But, you have to make a deal with me.”

Joel smiled a little. “I have to make a deal with you?”

You were being serious. “Yes. You can’t fly off the handle and it can’t leave this room between me and you. Promise me you won’t do anything.”

Joel got worried and then silent. 

“Promise me,” you pressed. 

“I promise.”

With a sigh, you started to explain. “It’s stupid really. It was before I met you and the others. I was travelling with this group towards Cincinnati. I’d met one of the guys one night and we…got close.”

“Got close?”

You rolled your eyes. “We were fucking, Joel. It wasn’t anything serious. Just a way to let off some steam. In fact it had been his idea to keep things casual. Anyway, one night a few of his friends wanted to raid this place. I had a bad feeling about it but…I went anyway. Turns out the place was FEDRA owned. So, I told them what I thought and walked away. I didn’t want to be another casualty for them. Pretty sure the only reason I’d lived so long is because I was someone’s girl.”

“What was his name? The guy you were…”

“Fucking?” 

Joel nodded his head. “Trevor, or Travis. Something like that. We didn’t exactly do much talking and this was over ten years ago. Anyway, that night I walked. Packed up what I had to my name, and left. A couple months later, I found an old farmhouse. It was in the middle of nowhere. No infected. For a while, I thought I’d been followed but when no windows busted in the middle of the night, I finally relaxed.”

 “Except, when I woke up in the morning, I heard footsteps. I had been followed, just not by infected. His friends, they’d spotted me by pure fucking chance outside another town and followed me. Guess it got too dark to continue following so they pitched out in the woods for the night.”

Joel sat up. “What did they want?”

“Apparently after I left them, Trevor, or Travis – he’d followed after me. Said he’d make me see sense. Only, he got chased by an infected somewhere outside the city. They blamed me for his death. Wanted revenge.”

“Did they…”

You shook your head but stood up and lifted the hem of your t-shirt which just so happened to Joel’s, before pushing down the band of your shorts. Carefully, Joel reached out and kept your shorts out of the way so you didn’t hurt yourself any more than you already had. 

His fingers were warm against your skin. 

“No, but they did get two slugs into me before I sent them limping away with their own bullets in their legs.”

Joel looked up at you before he dropped his hand, and you sat back down. 

“What does this have to do with today?”

“Remember your promise to me?”

Joel nodded. 

“Two of his friends are here in town.”

Joel went to stand but you kept your hand on his arm. “Joel. Don’t. It wasn’t them. They’ve got nothing to do with this. At least, nothing I can prove, anyway.”

“What’s that supposed-”

“Someone’s set up trip wires around my grid. I usually go further than we’re meant to on patrol. No-one else covers my grid, so someone has been watching me. At the very least, they’ve been asking questions. Must have tripped a wire and it threw out a knife.”

Joel took a breath. “Does anyone else know? About before Boston?”

You shook your head. “It was a long time ago. And to be honest, when I saw them, they didn’t seem to recognise me.”

“You can’t just go off that.”

“I know, but I have to take my chances.”

“What if they-”

You shook your head. “They won’t. I made sure of that. Once I hit the ground, I found all of their wires. Easier to see, I guess when you’re laid faced to the ground.”

You chuckled a little at that, remembering army crawling through the forest to pull all the wires and watching the blades fall flat to the floor. But that was a bad idea. 

“Take it easy. You probably need new bandages.”

Joel stood and walked towards the desk drawer before pulling out some fresh ones. 

“I’ll stand.”

Joel sat down on the sofa as you stood between his legs, lifting your t-shirt so he could unravel the old one. 

You hissed and he apologised. He was meticulous in unwrapping your bandages, being careful to not aggravate your wounds anymore than they already had been. And for a moment, his hand ghosted over your belly, his thumb tracing back and forth before he gripped onto your hip securely. 

“Joel…”

Looking up at you, Joel watched as you leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. He continued watching you as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your stomach, before pressing a few more to each wound, graze and finally the healing one on your side. 

You let out a shaking breath, your hand coming to the nape of his neck, your fingers running through the strands of his hair. 

Leaning back, his thumb brushed back and forth on your hip where he could feel the goosebumps popping up across your skin. 

Leaning down, leaving his hand on the back of your thigh to hold you still, he reached for the fresh bandage. 

“Lift your top.”

You did as he instructed and felt his fingers dance across your skin as he slowly wrapped the new bandage around your middle, being sure to keep it crossed over each other until finally he tucked it securely into place. 

His fingers wrapping around your hands, he let you lower your top as he stood, his body mere inches from you. You could see his chest getting tighter as he tried to control his breathing. Then you felt one of his hands trail up your body, your arm and finally settle at your neck, his fingers digging into the nape of your neck, whilst his other hand pulled you closer by your waist. 

Any control you had over your breathing was long gone out of the window. 

“We shouldn’t do this.”

Your voice felt too loud for how close you both stood, even if it did come out as a whisper. But you could still feel Joel’s hands fixed on your body, his palms moulding to each of your curves. 

“No, we shouldn’t.”

You could feel your breathing getting heavier. You forced yourself to catch it before you swallowed, starting to lean up on your toes as you held onto Joel for dear life. 

“One of us needs to walk away.” Joel told you. But you shook your head. 

“Don’t walk away. Don’t walk away.” Then you kissed him. 

Pulling him down, you landed back on your feet, Joel’s mouth hot on yours. Then his palms were under your ass, lifting you before your legs wrapped around his hips. With one hand firm under your ass, his other pushed your hair back from your face before he walked across to the cabinet behind you before he sat you down on it and had both of his hands in your hair, both of you becoming deaf to the back of the dresser that hit the wall.

Once again, Joel’s hands were on your hips pulling you closer until your legs wrapped around him once more. Then his mouth moved. It moved from your own, across your jaw and down your neck. Leaning away, your breathing became ragged as he found your pulse under his tongue. You were pretty sure by morning you’d have a large hickey as a blaring reminder of what pleasure Joel could just give with his mouth on your neck. 

Once Joel seemed satisfied with his work along your neck and jaw, he returned his mouth to yours where he only got a taste for more of you. From there, his hands ran through your hair until they finally got to the end of your shirt. Pulling it from under your ass, he pushed his hands underneath and carefully lifted it up your body before he broke the kiss and moved back to help you take it off. 

His mouth was back on yours in a second and the t-shirt you’d been wearing was thrown somewhere else in the room before you started tearing at the buttons on his shirt. Taking a little too long, Joel moved back and started undoing the bottom ones himself as you worked on the top ones. 

Once they were undone, he pulled the shirt off with your help before joining the t-shirt. His hand was back in your hair, pulling your mouth back to his. Nipping, licking and kissing your skin, he trailed his mouth back down your neck and across your collarbone whilst his hands unhooked your bra from the back. 

“So fucking beautiful,” his deep voice groaned before he pressed a kiss to the bow of your breast and lifted you from the dresser and carried you back to the sofa. 

Joel was careful when he lay you down on the sofa before he climbed above you, his knee slipping in between your legs. With one of your boobs in his palm, his fingers lightly pinched at your nipple as he kissed the corner of your mouth. A gasp left you and Joel smirked before watching you as he lowered himself down your body and wrapped his mouth around it, licking and sucking gently, hearing small moans escape your mouth. 

At the curve of your breast, he nipped at the skin a little before dampening the sting with his tongue and sucking just like he did at your neck. 

“Joel,” you moaned. 

Looking up at you from the bow of your breast, he pressed feather-like kisses. “Like that, baby?”

You swallowed thickly and nodded, feeling his tongue slip over your other nipple whilst his other hand travelled down the length of your body before hiking your thigh up so your leg wrapped around him. 

“Y-yes.”

You moaned again when you felt the hardness of him on your thigh. 

With his tongue trailing back up your chest before his hand cupped your cheek, finally allowing you to kiss him again, his tongue slipping inside of your mouth, tasting everything he could, his knee shifted. 

So grinding down, you took what you could. You could feel Joel smirk against your mouth. That fucker. 

“You want me already, Darlin’?”

Your breath became heavy in your chest and for a moment, Joel took in the sight of you. Plump lips from his kiss, growing hickies along your neck…

“You better plan on fucking me, Miller.”

Joel chuckled. “I plan on more than that, Darlin’.”

The way he looked at you in that moment, his eyes trailing your body, he looked like a man starved. And someone had finally put a meal in front of him. 

Slowly moving down your body, Joel’s hands eventually found your shorts and unfastened them before pulling them down your legs as you lifted your ass. 

Then he sat back, his hands stroking your thighs. “Fuck, baby.”

“Joel, please.”

Even just the thought of what he was about to do was turning you on. If he planned on doing anything like what he already had been doing with his tongue…

You moaned. 

Joel chuckled. “Since you asked so nicely.”

You let out a small squeal as he pulled you a little further down the sofa and pushed your thighs a little wider and further up. Then he took his time. His mouth kissing the inside of your thigh, taking extra time for the gash that rounded your thigh. 

Usually, anyone else who had gotten this far with you took one look at the scar and..stopped. 

But not Joel. 

“Fucking beautiful.”

Then he looked at you and for a moment his eyes softened before he pressed a softer kiss to the scar. It was only for a moment, but for you it felt like the whole world, because after that, he only continued. 

Kissing, sucking, licking, worshipping, loving your body in a way no other man had ever done. The scars didn’t turn him off or make him stop. The grazes didn’t make him falter in his want for you. In fact, he only added to them. But they were a lot more pleasurable to gain than your others. 

Finally, his thumb dipped under your panties, stroking through your slickness. “Fuck, your wet.”

Rushing back towards you, Joel’s mouth was on yours as his thumb parted the lips of your pussy before began circling your clit with a light pressure. 

Your moan was swallowed by his kiss. 

As you began to grind against his hand, Joel chased his own pleasure, too. 

“Fuck, baby.” Joel moaned into your ear. 

“Fuck, Joel.” You chased the feeling of his fingers, your body flexing under his. “Fuck.” You gasped, your hand gripping onto his bicep. 

“You’re so wet.”

Looking down from your shoulder, Joel removed his hand for a moment hearing you whimper but his own joined yours as he buried his face into your hair after seeing your wetness coat his fingers. 

Again, he was moving down your body, slowly pulling each side of your panties down your hips, his tongue tracing where they were. 

“Is this okay?”

“Fuck, yes.”

Then he tasted you. 

The moan he gave as he did so had you chasing the vibrations of his voice. You needed more of him. Bucking your hips, Joel’s tongue traced around your clit. 

“Open wider for me, baby.”

With his help, you opened your thighs wider for him before he sucked at your clit. With a gasp of pleasure, you sat up and your hand fisted at the back of Joel’s hair. His hands were rough under your ass, pulling you closer to him. 

Then his tongue entered you. His nose rubbing against your clit, Joel got a taste for all of you and if he wasn’t hooked before, he was now. 

You moaned his name over and over as you chased the pressure of him against your clit. “Joel. Joel, please. Ah, fuck. Joel. I’m gonna- Joel!”

Feeling the sensation take over your body, Joel drank up every last bit of you. When he finally came back up for air, he licked the last of you from his fingers before he kissed you. You could taste yourself on his tongue. 

“Hope you’re not tired, Darlin’, ‘cause I ain’t done with you yet.”

Pulling him closer to you, you kissed him again before you let him guide you into his lap. With your hands memorising every curve and muscle of him, your fingers started to undo his belt buckle before you finally got his jeans down his legs, as well as his underwear leaving him fully exposed to you. 

Joel just admired you as you straddled his lap once more, his fingers digging into your flesh as you rocked forward against him. 

With one hand already dancing across your skin, his other made its way back down to your core. Your arms over his shoulders, holding onto the back of the sofa, you leaned forward. 

“How many do you want, baby?”

Joel already entered one and you gasped before sighing, rocking against him as his digit curled inside of you. 

“One?”

He added another. “Or two?”

“Two.” A moan escaped you as he slowly pumped them inside of you and curled up. “Def…definitely two.”

As you rode Joel’s fingers, you could feel his cock in the side of your thigh, trying to leave it’s own bruise. 

“Fuck, baby.” 

Leaning down, you whispered into his ear. “Joel, I need more of you. I need you.”

There wasn’t much left for Joel to do other than guide himself into your entrance, his hands resting on your hips as he led you down the length of him inch by inch. 

Joel pushed the hair from your face. “Slow and steady, baby. Otherwise we’re gonna have finished before we’ve started.”

You laughed a little, and so did Joel. “Don’t you mean ‘you’?”

“As far as I’m aware, I’m the only one with self control here, Darlin’.”

You cocked a brow. “Oh really?”

Joel nodded and hummed. So, taking his face in your hand you leaned closer to his lips. 

“Maybe we’ve gotta do something about that.”

Taking a breath as you kissed him, Joel’s arms that had been resting on the back of the sofa started to tangle with your hair before moving to stimulate you in other places. 

“Hold on to the back of the sofa.” Joel told you before one hand slipped between you both and started rounding your clit and the other held the side of your neck before fisting the bottom of your hair. 

Then his mouth was everywhere. Licking, nipping, sucking – all whilst you rode his cock. 

“Shit, you feel so good.” Joel told you as he started to push up and into you more, the sounds of sex filling the room. 

Joel could feel you taking him in, your walls pulling him up as your slickness surrounded you both. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you swore. “Joel. I’m gonna come. Ahh, baby. Please. Fuck.”

Between his cock, his fingers and his mouth, you felt your orgasm building before your walls finally clenched around Joel as he let out his own orgasmic moan. Both of your movements became sloppy as the wave of your orgasm hit and you emptied around Joel as he emptied himself into you. 

You and Joel tried your best to catch your breath as you both remained still, his hand leaving your clit to hold you on him, at your hip. 

“Fuck.”

Leaning down you kissed him once more as his hands snaked around you, holding you against him. You felt his hand travel up your back before rounded down and flicking across your nipples once more. 

Finally he slowed and rested his head against your chest. And you both remained like that for a while until the feeling finally returned back into your legs, leaving a burning sensation in their wake. 

After cleaning up downstairs, Joel met you in the shower where his hands tangled between the wet strands of your hair and your back took on temporary imprints of the shower tile. And by the time you both woke up in the morning, your legs were still tangled with Joel’s from when you’d climbed back into bed after peeing. 

Once Joel finally woke up, you both lay in silence for a while, your nails trailing up and down his chest as his own fingers did the same on your arm. 

“How’s your side?” 

“I think the aching in my legs is distracting me.”

Joel smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. “Good.”

You kissed him back. “But I think my bandage needs changing.”

Joel nodded. “Grab a shower and I’ll go and grab you some fresh ones. The ones from last night should be dry by now.”

“Okay.” You kissed him. “But feel free to join me.”

Joel smiled and kissed your lips twice. “I plan on it.”

So, after an extra long shower, the feeling of Joel’s cock entering you from behind as he kept your hands pinned against the tile still fresh inside of you, Joel changed your bandage and you both finally got dressed. 

By the time Ellie and Maria came knocking on the back door and entering the kitchen, it was like nothing had changed. Ellie might not have noticed it, but Maria certainly did. 

“I brought you some antiseptic cream. Should help with the healing.”

“Thanks.”

Joel looked towards Ellie. “You had breakfast?”

Maria shook her head. “Tried to, but she wanted to see you as soon as she could.”

Joel nodded before sucking the bacon grease off his thumb. “Grab a plate. Maria, you staying?”

“No, best not. I’ve got a council meeting in twenty minutes.”

“Coffee to go?” You offered. 

Maria nodded, a little confused as she watched the picture play out in front of her. “Uh, yeah. That’d be lovely. Thanks.”

In front of her she saw Joel…happy. His eyes practically followed every movement you made before the eggs spat in the pan and he turned his attention back to his cooking. His hand at your hip as he rounded you to get into another drawer, your hand on his back as you passed him to grab a to-go lid from under the sink. 

The way you both looked at each other…it was the same as before but just…more. 

“Here you go.”

Maria smiled for a few reasons other than the coffee you handed her. “Thanks. See you guys later?”

You and Joel looked at each other, a little confused. “For what?”

Maria’s brows furrowed. Had you literally fucked the brains out of each other?

“It’s movie night.” Ellie told everyone. Joel looked at his daughter, his brain finally kicking into gear. 

“Right. Yeah, yeah. We’ll be there.”

Maria smiled. “Great. Well, I better run. Enjoy breakfast.”

Leaving, you turned back to Joel. “I completely forgot.”

“Same here.” He wiped his hands on a dish towel before transferring breakfast across to three plates. 

The rest of the day ran smoothly. Maria made sure to keep you and Joel at a distance from each other when helping set up. If the morning was anything to go by, both of your functioning brains disappeared when you were together. 

But she didn’t miss the constant eye-fucking across the room you gave to each other. Especially when the other wasn’t looking. 

And it was only when you and Joel passed each other in the supply closet you got a few moments together which each time got interrupted by someone calling for either one of you or someone making their way down the empty hallway towards the supply closet. 

That would be when you and Joel would jump apart and put an entire row of shelved between you both, you making small conversation as Joel turned his back, straightened out his mustache, grabbed the box he’d gone in for, slip past you, his hand patting or pinching your ass despite his eyes being fixed on the floor before he got an easy escape in order to cool down. 

And once you’d gotten back home, he did everything he’d wanted to do to you in the supply closet, at home. At least until Ellie walked through the front door, calling out for him telling him she was home. 

The routine you and Joel had set that night continued for almost a month. In between then, Ellie had worked out something had finally happened between you and Joel, as had Maria and Tommy. 

A few others around town had worked it out, too, though they never had full confirmation. 

Until the day came where you went missing. 

You had meant to pass by the school and walk home with Ellie since it was Joel’s turn to cook dinner. Only, when Ellie walked inside half an hour late and without you, Joel grew a little concerned as well as a little annoyed. 

You were never one to bail a plan, or even be late. So why weren’t you with Ellie?

“She didn’t show.”

“What do you mean she didn’t show?”

Ellie shrugged and dropped her bag by the door. “She didn’t show.”

Joel still fixed you a plate anyway. Maybe your work had run over. Only, the worry in the pit of his stomach seemed to grow more when he saw his brother. 

“Tommy, have you seen Y/n?”

Tommy nodded his head as he wiped down the bar. “Yeah, earlier. She covered Charlotte’s shift on patrol during dinner time.”

Even with taking the extra shift, you still would have finished in time to walk with Ellie. 

“Have you seen her since?”

Tommy shook his head but then called out for someone. A guy dressed in a dark coat walked over. “What can I do for you, Tommy boy?”

“You seen Y/n?”

The guy looked from Tommy, to Joel and Ellie. “Not since the start of patrol. But she should be back by now.”

“Why? What happened?”

The guy shrugged. “One of the fellas said she’d headed back early for something. She wouldn’t say what. They’d finished most of their grid so he finished up on his own and met us back at the bottom of the hill.”

“And you haven’t seen her since?”

The man shook his head. “I’m sorry, Joel. I haven’t.”

“Thanks anyway.”

He nodded. “If I see her, I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”

“Thanks, Bryan.”

Tipping his hat, he walked away and back to his table. Then Joel grabbed his jacket. “Ellie, stay with Tommy.”

“Where are you going?”

“Check her house. Stay with Tommy,” Joel repeated as he saw Ellie go to stand. She reluctantly sat back down. 

He was outside your home in fifteen minutes. He called out your name but no reply came. Finding the spare key, he let himself in before looking around the place. Nobody. Then he checked his own home. Then the gardens, school, movie theatre and finally the bar again. 

“Find her?”

Joel shook his head. “No.”

But then he heard a laugh, and something dropped in his stomach. Turning around, his eyes made contact with another pair. 

You’d pointed out to Joel the men who you knew from before Boston. And there they sat, with a satisfied look in their eyes. 

“You looking for your woman, Miller? Or is she just fucking you like she fucked Travis?”

Joel was across the floor in five seconds flat, his hands at the collar of one of them. “What the fuck did you do to her?”

But he just laughed. Joel looked back at Tommy who just nodded to a side door. Everyone in the bar had gone silent, but he wasn’t worried about them. Ellie didn’t need to see what he was about to do. 

So dragging the guy with him, he pulled him through the swinging door, meanwhile Tommy and a few others surrounded the other friend before he could make a move to attack Joel. 

“The bitch should still be alive if you can find her in time.”

Mostly the guy just laughed in Joel’s face until Joel had him slumped on the floor and had him screaming with a knife in his knee. 

“You psycho fucker!”

Joel remained calm. “Where is she?”

“Like I’d tell you,” Joel stabbed him once more. “I’m gonna ask you one more time and if you don’t tell me, I’ll pop your fucking knee cap off.”

“Fuck you.”

Joel twisted the knife. “Okay, okay! She’s in the upper grid! She’s in the upper grid!”

Joel searched his eyes, turning the guy’s head from side to side. “If you’re lying-”

“I’m not!” He cried. “I’m not. I swear.”

“Okay.”

The guy calmed down a little. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“So you’ll let me-” He screamed in pain as Joel shattered his knee. “Ah! Fucker! You promised.”

“I didn’t promise you a fucking thing.”

Joel stood and wiped the knife clean. “You and your friend better be gone before I get back.”

“How?! You’ve just broke my fucking leg!”

“Then crawl. Whilst you can still do that.”

The guy cried in pain. “You crazy fucker! You’ll pay for this! I swear, you’ll pay for this!”

Joel didn’t look back as he walked back through the door. “Call a fucking lawyer.”

The guy's screams of pain died away with the swinging of the door and by the look on the other guy’s face, he was shitting himself. 

Joel grabbed him by the collar. “You know where she is?”

He nodded. “Take me.”

“But-”

Joel shot him in the leg. 

“Alright! Alright!” 

Dragging him by the collar, Joel carried him outside and through the town. Meanwhile, Ellie sat and watched from the cover of the bar before turning to Tommy who came to her side. 

“He’ll find her.”

Tommy nodded. “Hopefully.”

But Ellie was adamant. “He found me. He’ll find her.”

Tommy didn’t know the full story about what happened after his brother and Ellie left Jackson the first time, but going off how he’d reacted to finding you gone and in danger and how he’d been on Outbreak Day with Sarah…Tommy had a feeling someone wasn’t coming back. 

After forty minutes, the guy lifted his hand, “She’s in there.”

The only thing there was a mound of dirt. The guy was already crying. 

“We buried her. She should still be alive-” He didn’t finish his sentence because the blow of the bullet at the base of his skull shut him up. 

And Joel got to work, shovelling piles of dirt as quickly as he could. 

“Joel!”

From the hill, a few others appeared with guns. “We heard a shot-” Then they realised. 

“Grab a shovel! Help me!”

And they did. 

Eventually, they hit a wooden box. 

“Joel, she’s here.” Bryan told him before wiping the thin layer of dirt from the edges where both himself and Joel stabbed at the edges with their shovels, using them as a crowbar until finally the top popped off. 

Seeing more light than before, your lungs seemed to rush with air quicker than you could breathe it in. Sitting up quickly, you felt a pair of hands on you. 

“Get off me! Get off me!”

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s me. Y/n, it’s me. Hey, hey, look at me.”

Holding your face in his hands, your vision cleared to find Joel standing in front of you. “J-Joel?”

“Hey.”

Joel helped you up quickly, pulling you into his arms as his back rested against the side of the grave, your sobs falling against his chest. 

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Bryan laid a hand on Joel’s shoulder. “Take her home. We’ll take care of the rest.”

Joel nodded, his hand at the back of your head. “Come on. I’ll help you out.”

And he did. You were still shaking like a leaf. 

With his jacket over your shoulders, Joel held you into his side as you both walked back to town and towards home. 

“I’m so sorry, Joel.” 

Those were the first words you’d spoken to him since the morning when you’d kissed him goodbye. 

Joel shook his head as he was crouched in front of you, washing your face for you. Despite the shower, there still seemed to be dirt in your eyes. 

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

You nodded but he still had to tell you the same a day later when you woke up in his bed for the second time since he’d woken you up to tell you he’d be back in one hour. When you finally did pull yourself out of bed, you opened up the bedroom door to find Ellie standing to attention. 

Neither of you said anything but in a few moments, she ran towards you and hugged you. It wasn’t long before you both sunk to the floor. 

“I’m so sorry I was late.”

Ellie shook her head. “Are you going to be okay?”

You nodded. “Thanks to Joel.” You tried your best to dry your tears. “Where is he?”

“Still with Tommy. They’re still dealing with the guys that…” Ellie skipped over that part. “Everyone is on your side, and Joel’s side, too.”

You just nodded again. “Good.”

Then Ellie leaned forward and hugged you again before you both heard a familiar pair of boots walk up the stairs. “You’re awake.”

“I think so, at least.”

“I’ve got breakfast.”

The morning was mostly spent in silence until Ellie fell asleep tucked into your side of the sofa. Joel went to pick her up to carry her to bed but you stopped him. “Leave her.”

He did so and sat on your otherside, his arm resting around your shoulders whilst his hand brushed the back of Ellie’s sleeping head. 

“I’m so sorry, Joel.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t your fault. None of it.”

You shook your head. “No matter where I go, I seem to collect scars. And they never let me go.”

Joel pressed a kiss to your head before gently placing his other hand on your thigh. “You should be proud of them. They’re a sign you survived. They’re a sign you’re still alive and here. With us.”

Looking at Joel, all you saw on his face was sincerity. He truly meant it, and truly believed it, too. Leaning up, you let him kiss you gently before you settled your head against his chest. 

Maybe he was right. You knew he was right. You trusted he was right.

Especially when you’d come to learn of all the ways Joel could appreciate your survival, proving to you how you could appreciate it, too. 

[lunaa007]

Astrology observations #3

These are my personal observations and should be taken in the context of the whole chart, never isolated 😊

Some of this is 18+, no minors allowed

♦️Mars-Uranus aspects can indicate a liking for risky activities and extreme sports, like motorcycling or base jumping. They can even like to put themselves in danger as they need the adrenaline. Routine is super boring for them, they need to try new things very often. They should be careful to release this nervous energy with sports, work they're passionate about or things like that or it can backfire. This aspect can be tempered down with Saturn aspects or a lot of earth energy in the chart.

♦️Venus square mars aspect: can often be mean to the person they like, classic "if he pulled your hair it's because he likes you" stuff. Can be very passionate, might have difficulty to separate feelings from lust. They might have talent for artistic sports like dancing or ice skating. For women, they might like a more sporty fashion style.

♦️Sun-saturn aspects: especially for harsh ones, this can really change the expression of the sun sign. I know someone with sun and several planets in Leo, but they are all square to Saturn and you could never tell she's a Leo; she is very reserved, shy and restrained in life. But as with all Saturn aspects this can change with age, the personality coming through more and more while keeping an amazing sense of discipline, wisdom and grounding.

♦️Moon-uranus aspects: with harsh aspects (conjunction, square, opposition), the mother might have been emotionally cold during the childhood, and she might have been a bit erratic and unpredictable. This could have showed up as frequently moving places, or having a mother considered weird or crazy by society. With soft aspects like trine or sextile this could show up as an untraditional family, maybe having two fathers or two mothers, or parents very into technology, but this was not hard on the person and it helped them develop their individuality and independence.

♦️Taurus mercury: these people can learn much slower than other people (this does not mean they are not as intelligent, their rhythm is just different). At school they might have felt behind their schoolmates or felt like they didn't have enough time to finish their exams/homework. It is important that they don't feel bad about this and take the time they need to do their work. This might be less strong with Uranus influence on mercury. ♦️ Aquarius moon natals and their need to always read and watch self-development content without ever actually feeling their feelings 🙃

♦️ Venus conjunct moon: these people are so kind, they have such a big heart and do not wish harm on anyone, please stay mindful of who has access to you as many people might want to be in contact with this energy but sometimes also energy vampires.

♦️ Mercury conjunct/square pluto and their dark humor! I have this in my chart and one of my colleagues actually said to me three days after she started: "your jokes can be really dark sometimes" 😂 it gets worse when I'm tired as I don't filter my jokes so much before saying them. These aspects might also think a lot about death and dark themes, they can be the type to think "what happens if I die tomorrow", or "I could die if I do this" but not in a worried way, just thinking rationally about what is possible.

♦️ Leo mars women and their secret backup plan of becoming a stripper or an exotic dancer 💃 these women often have a talent for dancing, and performing can make them feel desired and confident.

♦️ Aries moon/mars placements and their road rage! Both my parents have these placements and my god the number of stressful rides to school I had when I was a child 😂 this can also apply to the other fire mars.

♦️ Lilith conjunct ascendant: these people often provoke reactions everywhere they go, they rarely go unnoticed whether it is positive reactions or negative. The women with this aspect might get sexualised a lot, and the men with this aspect might attract animosity from other men. ♦️ Sun-jupiter and moon-jupiter aspects: they might always see the bright side of things, "it will get better", "this is temporary", seeing the glass half-full. A lot of optimism, faith in a higher meaning, maybe too optimistic sometimes and too trusting that things will unfold in the right way.

♦️Mars square pluto women often attract creepy men on the street, interactions with aggressive men might be unfortunately common. It is important to not repress their anger and channel their power in something like martial arts.

♦️Gemini moon/IC: they might love to talk with their loved ones at home, a lot of communication and learning in their private life. If they live alone they might be a lot on the phone or always have music or tv or radio on.

♦️Mercury square saturn: they might doubt their intellectual abilities when young, their learning style might not fit the classic school system. It is important that they are encouraged by their family, and with time they will gain confidence and master the learning techniques that fit them best.

♦️Mars in virgo might care too much about pleasing their partner in bed and have a hard time receiving pleasure without giving anything. They might also feel self-conscious if they do not feel "clean" like not fresh out of the shower. It is important for them to practice letting go of their thoughts and doubts and be present in their body. They deserve pleasure as much as everybody else!

♦️ Jupiter in the 2nd house might have a very good self-esteem, if the moon and venus are not too afflicted. And if it is the case it helps the native deal with the harder aspects.

♦️ That's why it is so dangerous to interpret an  aspect in isolation of the rest of the chart, a challenging aspect might be very beneficial in a chart and less in another one. For instance moon conjunct saturn might be more challenging for a Capricorn moon which is already quite controled and closed off, but in the sign of Aries it might help the native tame their impulsivity and control better their emotions. 

♦️ Or moon square Uranus might be beneficial for a Capricorn moon or a Taurus moon as it might help them break out of their routine and become more adaptable and flexible to change.

Thank you for reading!

@lunaa007

[yulin-pop]

⤷ ✧ 𝐀𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

order 87 | Alphabet headcanons | Ace | Gender Neutral

❀ NOTE: mmm okay so who’s next

A - Affection (What is their love language?)

Quality time is the one that really matters, you could be very beautiful but it wouldn’t matter as much as your personality to him in the end. But since you’re both, he’s a lucky guy. Just long conversation about nothing useful and scrolling on MagiCam together on the couch just feels natural.

B - Best (What is their best trait?)

Just how he’s always with you, not necessarily in a loyal way but he has to be at your side as long as it’s physically capable of him. He walks you to class without asking and always finds you in the hallways.

C - Confession (How did they confess?)

He did it the traditional way everyone told him to. Flowers and some sort of gift of whether you liked the most. He hid it from you the whole day until the perfect time he planned. It had to be when it was just the two of you, if anyone even walked by he waited until they went away then went for it.

D - Distance (How are they after fights?)

Even after you resolved everything, he may be a little bit pouty, either mad about what you did or feeling bad way about what he did. You have do ease him back in to make him act normal again.

E - Early (How was the first week of your relationship?)

He acted the same way he always did, at least he tried. He was both more nervous and confident around you. He was less chatty and more focused on what you were saying, but eventually grabbed your hand without saying anything when walking you to class. If you say anything about it, he’ll get embarrassed and let go.

F - First Kiss (When was your first kiss together?)

It had to be when you were alone, which is hard. But it’d most likely be just a hangout, suddenly you two start fighting and tickling each other. When you settle down, still sitting close to him. He just gets the urge, so he does it. If you freak out, he’ll say “so you just don’t like me?!”

G - Gifts (What gifts do they get for you?)

You honestly have to ask him or talk about something non stop for him to actually buy it for you. Not that he doesn’t care but he doesn’t get you spontaneous gifts unless it’s food because he’ll know you’ll like it.

H - Hugs (Anything involving hugs?)

He use to hug you more before dating but he hardly does it. But if you’re scrolling on MagiCam with him or maybe watching a movie, he might go behind you and bring you into a big hug, just to get comfortable.

I - Injury (How do they react when you get hurt?)

He might make a big deal when he hears you’re hurt with no context, depending on how bad it actually is he might just stare at it and scold you or rush you to the nurses office. Of course, when he does bring you he waits with you the entire time.

J - Jealousy (How do they get jealous?)

When anyone takes his spot. Even if it’s something meaningless like someone taking a seat next to you when EVERYONE knows he always sits next to you on that side. If someone else pours you tea at an unbirthday party, he dumps it on the floor and pours you another. But it gets worse if he notices they’re physically affectionate, he would actually pop a blood vessel.

K - Kiss (How are kisses with them?)

They’re very quick and more of just a reminder of his love. The longer kisses are reserved for when he missed you or when he’s jealous.

L - Love you (Who says it more?)

You mostly do; since he’s nervous with saying it too soon or too often since he doesn’t want to do too much (him attempting to be nonchalant). He only ever says it as a quick thing like when you make him food for example.

“I made cookies and I made sure to set aside ten just for you.”

“…I love you so much…”

“Huh?”

M - Memorable (What stands out most about them?)

He’s rude yet thoughtful. He reminds you to do your homework and if you have a big test the next day. He may tease you but most of the time it has a purpose, the other percent of the time he’s just being mean.

N - Nightmares (What do they do when you get nightmares)

When you wake up, he’s sorta concerned since you seem panicked despite just waking up. Whether you tell him or not, he can tell and he urges you to go back to sleep. He hopes holding you until you fall asleep will keep the bad dreams away.

O - Open (How open are they with you?)

If he doesn’t like something, he’ll eventually tell you. Even if it can’t be said out loud, he texts you while standing right beside you. But other than that he’s direct and he won’t hide what he likes and doesn’t like for long.

P - PDA (How much affection do they show in public?)

Not a lot, again with him trying to be nonchalant. He tries not to do PDA in front of his friends because he knows one of them will say “get a room!” or groan in disgust. Holding hands is another thing he’s more comfortable with and he hugs you before leaving for class. But if he’s feeling really brave, he’ll give you a kiss on the forehead but he’s running away immediately so you don’t catch how red his face is.

Q - Quote (what's a sweet thing they’ve said to you?)

“Can I come over later? You know, Riddle is so exhausting I need to get away from it… You know it’ll be cold tonight. I wouldn’t want you to be cold, s-so you should let me stay the night.”

R - Romantic (How romantic are they?)

Not really romantic on purpose, sure he intends to create the atmosphere but sometimes he just does what he wants so you can say he’s just naturally a romantic person. Definitely not with his words but more with his actions.

S - Sadness (What do they do to make you feel better?)

He tries to get your mind off of it, generally if you’re just down he won’t leave you alone until you go back to normal. If you won’t even tell him about it, he pesters you and if it doesn’t work. He tickles you, he loves seeing you smile you’re just cuter that way.

T - Together (How clingy are they?)

He’s clingy but not physically touch way. He can be but he’s doesn’t need to always have his hands on you. But proximity wise he will always be closest to you. He won’t ever let you walk to class alone and he has to be the first person you talk to at lunch.

U - Uplift (How much do they compliment you?)

He’s mean but he gives you credit for being smart. And not necessarily a compliment but he flexes your achievements to other people. When someone is talking about test scores he brings yours up first. If you aren’t very confident in yourself then he reassures you a lot.

V - Voice (How often do they express their love for you?)

He doesn’t like to talk about it because he gets embarrassed really fast. He doesn’t know what to say when someone asks how you two started dating. “Well I asked and they said yes.”

“How did you confess?”

“You don’t need to know all of this!!”

He doesn’t say it unless it really needs to be said like when you’re jealous. Over text he isn’t so shy, though.

Ace: Hey

Ace: respond if you love me

Ace: …

Ace: Please I miss you

W - Worry (How often do you concern him?)

He gets curious if you’re off schedule like you’re running late and he doesn’t see you in the morning. He doesn’t worry much but as seen in chapter 4, if there’s a reason he will worry his butt off until he sees you and can see for himself you’re okay.

X - XOXO (How affectionate are they in private?)

In private he doesn’t mind cuddling you or you cuddling him. He does just whatever you want to do, but he doesn’t like when you basically ignore him for whatever you’re doing. He pulls you away from it, literally.

Y - You (How often do they think about you?)

Every morning he wonders if you’re already awake and then he goes to school and wonders when you’re getting there. Then he walks you to class then wonders what you’re doing. Then after school he wonders what you’re doing again, cleaning or maybe doing homework? Then at night he wonders if you’re already asleep. Then repeat. He texts you a lot because of how curious he is.

Z - Zealous (How passionate are they about you?)

He shouldn’t have to say it but he’s very passionate. Before basketball games he thinks of you and how you’re gonna watch him. He tries way harder if you’re going to be there, but it results in bad decisions like shooting the ball when he should’ve definitely passed. His teammates don’t appreciate it at all. He’s not suppose to but he looks at you in the stands during the game. He just wants to impress you is all.

[moonstruckme]

Hi! I absolutely love your page and all of your poly!marauders writing! Could I request a poly!marauders where they’re all flirting with r (like pre relationship) and because she’s never really been noticed/flirted with before she thinks they’re kind of making fun of her like it’s a big joke. Then of course she finds out that’s not the case

Thanks for requesting babe, and thanks for reading! I had no idea how long this had become until I checked the wordcount just now haha, and I feel like it got a bit awkward in some places but I hope you enjoy it :)

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.8k

As Friday nights go, this one is pretty typical. You’d arrived at the party with all of your friends, and one by one, they’d been pulled away by significant others, flirty strangers, or potential hookups. Now it’s just you, sitting on the couch and trying not to look awkward as the couple on the opposite end endeavors to swallow each other whole. 

“Hey there, gorgeous,” a familiar voice drawls, and Sirius Black sits down next to you. “Having a good time?”

You force a smile, not wanting to insult the party most likely being thrown by Gryffindor’s golden boys. “Yup.” 

“Doesn’t look like it,” he says, not unsympathetically, then nudges the curled-up form behind him. “Moony, you were really going to let this pretty thing sit here all by herself without speaking to her?”

The book they’re holding lowers, revealing Remus Lupin. His eyes start to roll as if it’s an automatic response to Sirius’ interruption, but then they fall on you. “Oh.” He blinks. “Sorry, love, I didn’t see you there.” 

You flush, sheepish and a bit resentful of being party to Sirius’ reprimand, however teasing it might be. You know Remus from the couple of classes you’ve had together, but you wouldn’t expect him to talk to you outside of those contexts. Speaking to someone that’s obligated is so much worse than speaking to no one at all. “It’s fine,” you say quietly, feeling unbearably awkward. 

“See? She’s too sweet to even hold you accountable for it,” Sirius tuts, shaking his head. “I’m sorry about him, dollface. Can I get you a drink?”

“I, um...” You look down at your empty cup, long since drained. “Sure, thanks.” 

He winks. “Be right back.” 

You expect Remus to go back to his book as Sirius struts off, but he folds the corner of his page, setting it down. 

“I really didn’t mean to ignore you,” he says, looking painfully apologetic. “How are your classes this year?”

You give him your most reassuring smile. “They’re good, thanks. And I didn’t think you were ignoring me.” You cringe. “Sorry Sirius made you put away your book on my account.” 

He looks at you with amber eyes full of kindness. “I don’t mind.” 

It’s a conscious effort to quell the ruckus in your stomach. You’d harbored a tiny, secret crush on Remus when you’d had classes together last year, and this is exactly why. He just seemed like such a sweetheart. Soft-spoken but brilliant, he never raised his hand to answer questions but always scored high on assignments, and you’d once caught him feeding answers to the girl next to him so she could win points for her house. You’d become enthralled with the way his smile would tug gently at the scars on his face, making them glint silver in the light that shone through the classroom windows, and how his eyes sparked with quiet amusement even when he wasn’t laughing.

The silence between you is stretching too long. You fumble for something to continue the conversation. “I like your sweater,” you say dumbly. 

“Yeah?” He smiles, scars flashing. “Thanks, lovely.” He lets his gaze roam over you for a moment, and you try not to squirm. “Do you want it? It’s a bit cold in here.” 

You look down, surprised to discover goose bumps covering your arms. “That’s alright,” you say, but Remus is already shrugging off his sweater, revealing the plain t-shirt underneath. “Remus, really, I’m fine.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he insists, holding the sweater out to you and raising his eyebrows when you won’t take it. “If you don’t put it on, then neither of us will have it.” 

You watch him for a moment, but Remus doesn’t waver. You take it, giving him a look that you hope conveys both admonishment and apology. “Thank you.” 

“No problem,” he replies as you shrug it on. “Considering that this is a school of magic, it does a pretty poor job of regulating its temperature during the winter, don’t you think? Couldn’t let you just sit here and freeze, sweetheart. Sirius would kill me when he got back.” 

You pull Remus’ sleeves over your cold fingers, using the movement to avoid eye contact as your face heats. The way he’s talking to you, the pet names, it’s all so strange. You don’t get it. 

“Not to be rude,” Remus says before you can go deeper into your musings, “but I thought I saw you come in with a bunch of other girls. Where’d they all go?”

Ah. He’s talking to you because he likes one of your friends. “Oh.” You wave your hand about vaguely. “Here and there, pulled aside by various prospects. I’m sure you can find some of them if you go looking.” 

“But they left you by yourself?” He seems to disregard your friends’ whereabouts, his eyebrows coming together just a bit. “That’s not very nice. Lucky for us, though, I suppose.” 

You tilt your head, not quite sure what he means, but then Sirius returns, James Potter in tow. 

“Told you,” Sirius says as he passes you your drink, hand lingering on yours a second too long. James gives one to Remus. “She’s miserable.” 

“Can’t have that,” James replies agreeably, looking for somewhere to sit. His eyes fall on the couple behind you and he leans close to your ear. “Merlin, they’re really going at it, aren’t they?”

You laugh, and he grins at you like that was his aim all along. Meanwhile, Sirius has devised a solution to the problem of seating, making himself comfortable almost entirely in Remus’ lap. He gestures for you to come closer. You comply tentatively, scooting a couple feet towards the two of them. 

“Don’t be shy.” Sirius reaches out and grips your waist, hauling you closer until you’re pressed up against Remus’ leg and Sirius’ side, his arm remaining snugly around your waist. “We don’t bite. Unless you’re into that, of course.” 

“Pads.” Remus’ voice is stern, softened for your benefit. “Take it easy.” 

“Oh, come on,” Sirius scoffs. “I saw you putting the moves on her from over by the punch. You don’t get to have all the fun.” 

Putting the moves on you? Sirius almost makes it sound like Remus had been…flirting. Oh. You suppose maybe he had. But intentionally? Really? Sirius Black will flirt with anything, but Remus is a different story.

It must be a part of some bit they’re all doing, you realize. They are pranksters. Sirius was probably bored and in need of entertainment, and there you were, sitting all by yourself. Practically begging to be the object of his amusement. And then he’d enlisted Remus to go along with it. They’re probably all going to go back to their dorm tonight and laugh about how easily you’d fallen for it. Your face burns.

James has settled into the ample space you’ve made on the couch, allowing you a bit more room that Sirius seems willing to. “You alright, lovely? I’m sorry you haven’t been having a very good time.”

You look at him, finding nothing but sincerity in his warm brown eyes. You don’t suppose he would have been able to get away with so much if he weren’t a good actor. The last thing you’re going to do is give them more to laugh about by making a scene. “No, I’m fine. It’s a good party.” 

“Yeah?” James cocks his head like a puppy. “Well, that’s good, I guess. How’d you end up by yourself though, sweetheart?”

Remus answers for you. “Her friends left her.” 

“They’ll come back eventually,” you say hastily, then realize how pathetic that sounds. It’s all you can do not to shrink in on yourself. 

“I’m sure they are,” James says, and try as you might, you can detect no sarcasm in his tone, “but it’s still not a very considerate thing for friends to do. You seem like excellent company.” 

You scoff, taking a long sip of your drink. “Apparently not.” 

“You are,” Sirius says casually, looking at you over the rim of his cup. “I mean, I’ve only been around you for a little while, but it’s been a delightful experience for me. And Moony seems to like talking to you. That’s high praise.” 

Remus elbows Sirius but gives you one of his soft, kind looks, and it’s too much. It’s all too much. You feel like you’re being eaten alive by shame at how much you’re enjoying their attention, even if it’s all for show. 

“I have an idea,” James says, knee bumping into yours amicably. “We were going to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow to study. Would you come with? We could grab lunch together and convince you of how pleasant you are to have around.” 

You scoff. This charade has gone too far. “Yeah, right. What time should I meet you, at nine in the great hall, where everyone will be watching?” 

Who gets off on this anyway? Flirting is one thing, but all this faux kindness, just to humiliate you? It’s a cruelness beyond what you thought them capable of. 

James hesitates at your tone. “Um, yeah. Nine is good, if that works for you.”

You shake your head, crossing your arms. Sirius gets the message, removing his hand from around your waist. “This isn’t funny.” 

“It’s not supposed to be.” James looks wounded, and Remus leans forward, a concerned set to his brows. “Hey, what’s going through your head?” he asks, all concerned tenderness. 

You look between them, angry and, if you’re being honest with yourself, very hurt. “This is a prank, right? Because I was sitting alone and you were bored? Well, I don’t think it’s funny.” 

“Darling,” Remus breathes, reaching out as if to touch you but hesitating with his hand hovering just above your shoulder, “no one’s pranking you.”

Sirius shakes his head. “That’s not…we would never do something like that, and I’m sorry you think we would. Let me be clear: we want to go on a date with you tomorrow. Obviously you don’t have to, but we’d love it if you came.” 

You feel your eyebrows scrunch up, trying to right your worldview. You feel like you have whiplash. “Wait, are you serious?”

He grins, and it’s half sheepish, half wolfish. “That’s me.” 

You giggle a bit at that, and Remus works up the courage to let his hand land on your shoulder, squeezing gently. “No jokes or catches, lovely girl. I promise.” 

You send him a small smile before turning to James, who still looks like he’s had the wind knocked out of him. “I’m really sorry I accused you guys of that,” you say, guilt replacing shame at the feast of your insides. “I just…I’ve never had someone…notice me in that way before. I thought it was a joke.” 

James’ smile still bears some leftover unease, but there’s no reproach in it. “That’s alright, angel,” he says, earnest as he had been all along. “I’m sorry you thought we didn’t mean it. Let us prove it, yeah? Tomorrow?”

You beam at him, a frisson of excitement going through you. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

[pixiedust0604]

Miss You Already-

Clarisse x fem!reader

Info: Reader is in Aphrodite Cabin. Set in The Sea of Monsters. This is my first fanfic on here, so some constructive criticism would be very appreciated!

Context: Clarisse is about to go into the Sea of Monsters to get the Golden Fleece, but something (or someone) gets in her way

Reader's POV

Warnings: Angst but is resolved in the end

Word Count: 1381 words

Clarisse was livid.

Not that this should be a surprise. Clarisse was known for her temper in Camp, so it was of no big shock that she was upset. 'Probably the nerves of going on a quest for the first time' her siblings thought.

They were very wrong.

You see, Clarisse had a lucky shirt and bandana she wore when she did things like this. Any competition she went to, any test she did she always wore her lucky CHB shirt and bright red bandana.

She set them out that night, before she went to bed. She knows she did. But when she went to get dressed this morning, they were gone.

Now she's in a worse mood that usual, and I was terrified.

I could here the noise she was making from the dining pavilion.

I took the shirt and bandana last night, but I didn't know that they were her lucky ones. I just wanted something to remind me of her while she went away. It's not like I knew how important they were.

Okay, I didn't know the bandana was important, but in my defence, it's scary thinking about the fact that my girlfriend might not come home after this quest. I know I'll miss her, so I wanted to wear both the t-shirt and the bandana while she was gone, so it felt like she was right there next to me, and that the luck would bring her home to me safely.

I was just about to sneak back off to my cabin after breakfast so Clarisse wouldn't catch me, when I bumped into her immediately.

*Great, I'm dead aren't I* I think to myself as I see her almost glaring at me.

"Hi Y/N, you haven't seen my lucky bandana and camp t-shirt, have you?" She said, even though we both knew that I have them both.

"No, can't say I have honey, good luck on your quest though! Goodbye, love you!" I say, before quickly trying to running off.

Keyword, trying to. Unfortunately, Clarisse caught me by the arm before I could run off.

"Not so fast, love. You need to help me find them. Do you mind me looking in your cabin first?" She asked, grinning at me.

"I mean, I'd love to help, but I'm very busy right now." I say quickly, hoping that it'll work and she'll let me go.

It didn't work. Of course it didn't.

"Please, love? It'll only take 2 minutes." She said, feigning being upset.

I sighed, and said, "Fine, but you'll have to be quick, I don't think you have that much time, Clary." I was worried that she was going to see them both straight away. "Do you mind if I clean up a bit before you look? My part of the cabin is pretty messy."

"No, I'd prefer if I could look right now, lovely. I want to get going as soon as possible, okay?" She answers, looking at me again with that smirk of hers.

"Okay, come on then." I say, turning around terrified. I lead her to the Aphrodite Cabin, practically shaking the entire time.

I open the door, letting her in. "Here you go, just don't go through people's stuff too much, alright?" I close the door behind us, grateful that no-one else is there.

She starts rifling through everyone's wardrobe, checking the tags for her name, and searching through each person's accessories for her bandana. Until she got to mine.

This is where I start panicking, because I hid it in the most obvious place I could think of. Underneath my pillow.

She looks in my wardrobe, obviously to find nothing, then she gets to the bed.

She throws everything off the bed, and there lies the bandana, and the shirt where my pillow should be, crumpled up into a ball.

Clarisse, the girl I've been dating for almost 9 months now, turns to look at me with a look I've never seen aimed at me before.

A look I've only seen her give Percy Jackson, and any monster who dare to make her angry. A look of unbridled rage.

"Babe, why is my lucky bandana and shirt in your bed?" She asked, glaring at me with that look.

"Uh... I- I don't know, could have been one of the Hermes kids? But I don't know how it got there my love," I shakily replied, trying my best to get to the exit, bumping into things on the way.

"Then why are you leaving? Didn't you say yesterday that you wanted to see me off to the border?" She said, frowning at me. She stepped closer.

"Did I? I don't remember that..." I say, trailing off as my hand grasps the door handle.

"Just tell me why you took it, love" Clarisse says, that terrifying look fading and her voice growing softer as she saw how frightened I was.

She steps closer, her face relaxing as she stepped closer. Her hands were spread out wide, showing me I had nothing to fear. That she wouldn't hurt me. I know she never would, I was the only person in the entire camp she wasn't willing to spar with. The only times we ever did spar together, she always held back.

"I wanted something to remember you by, that's all. I'm so scared you won't make it- home, and I want something to have that- that's yours, so it feels like you're here with me. I'm so sorry Clarisse, I'm so so sorry I took them. I won't take anything from you again, I promise. But please, promise me you'll make it home safe, because I can't lose you." I say between sobs, tears flowing down my face and onto the hardwood floor.

I'm quickly enveloped into her arms, and my head is tucked under her chin.

"I'm sorry that you felt that way, Y/N. But maybe next time, ask for something from me. I have a ton of camp shirts and bandanas for you to have that I'd be happy to give you. You just have to a ask." She tells me, stroking my hair.

After a silence, I say, "I will, I'm sorry. Can I still walk you to the border?"

"Of course you can. In fact, why don't you pick out a bandana before I go? You can wear it while I'm gone." She says, letting me go, and leading me out of my cabin, to hers.

"Really?" I ask, my voice wobbling as tears fill my eyes once again.

"Yeah, of course love. You said you wanted something to remind you of me while I'm gone, so you can pick something out of mine." She says walking into her cabin, her hand still holding mine even as her siblings stare.

I ended up choosing a blue bandana and one of her camp shirts.

I felt all eyes on me and Clarisse as she held my hand and walked out with me. "Do you want anyone to come with us to the border?" She asks, rubbing my knuckles.

"No, I think I'll be okay" I reply, clutching the blue cloth in my left hand.

"Alright then my love." She said, and pulled me along gently to the border. There stood Argus, with his van.

"You ready to go?" He asks Clarisse, opening the van door for her.

"Yeah, just one sec" Clarisse answers.

Argus nods his head, his multiple eyes blinking at the same time.

"I'll see you later, Y/N. And don't you dare say I might not be, because I know I'll always come back to you." She says playfully.

"I swear to the gods, if you die on this quest, I'll kill you Clarisse." I joke, giggling as tears fill my eyes again.

She then kisses me, and her hands snaked around my waist. I quickly grab her face, kissing her back. I can feel her chapped lips as they move against mine. Her rough hands pull me closer, so I can feel her body .

Unfortunately, Argus interrupted saying "Clarisse, we have to get going."

She slowly pulls back and lets go of my waist. As I feel her body leave mine, Clarisse possibly for the last time, kisses me on the cheek, and moves away from me to go on her quest.

[hollowempire]

Soothing Song | Jod Na Nawood x GN!Reader

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Summary: Nights on a (space) pirate ship full of noisy individuals aren't ideal for sleeping. Fortunately, the captain is there to offer some relief.

Note: I needed Jod fics immediately so I decided to take matters into my own hands and start writing reader inserts again. Got this idea from Jod singing in Episode 6.

Warnings: None, but note this takes place before the events of Skeleton Crew and Jod is referred to as Silvo as that’s what the context calls for.

Word Count: 1,530

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────

Living on a pirate ship as someone who preferred to still follow somewhat of a normal routine was not a situation intended for the weak, but after getting dragged into a crew of rowdy pirates with no say in the matter themself y/n didn’t have much of a choice but to stick it out. They had ended up among their ranks after mistakenly becoming a witness to one of said crew’s many misdeeds, a seemingly simple case of wrong place wrong time, but rather than execution to avoid leaving witnesses to tell the tale this civilian suffered a much worse fate: dealing with them.

Now, y/n was by no means weak in any sense. In fact, their spirit was why they were allowed–or rather forced–to live and join in the first place, with their quick thinking that day leading to their evasion of the law showing them to be a rather useful ally. But one could only handle so many sleepless nights before it became unbearable. They were noisy, and there always seemed to be something going on. Previous attempts to shout, plead, and threaten them into silence proved to be useless, so all they could do was lay there.

Moving from their back and onto their side facing the window, sorry excuse for a mattress creaking pathetically with the movement, their gaze became trained on the endless array of stars beyond the glass. One of the few positives they managed to find in their predicament was the views, both during travel and on the surfaces of the various planets they encountered on adventures. Their home planet had practically nothing to offer, air so thick with pollution there were people who doubted the sky was anything more than a myth, and there was of course never an opportunity to leave. So in any other case, getting taken away would have been like a dream come true.

Only it wasn’t. A harsh clanging of drinks against tables indicating something exciting was happening outside reminded them of that.

Trying not to pay too much attention to the commotion, y/n momentarily lost themself among stars. They thought about how quiet it must be for them. How lovely it must be.

“You haven’t come out to complain tonight, is everything okay?”

The sudden voice coming from the door to y/n’s quarters startled them, leading them to jolt into an upright position and reach for the blaster strapped to the side of their bed on instinct. That instinct was something instilled in them after months of pirate adventures.

“Relax,” The culprit held up his hands as he spoke, stature more teasing than that of someone who was in any actual danger. “I don’t think the others would take very kindly to the assassination of their captain,”

Upon realizing it was Captain Silvo who had interrupted their false sense of peace, y/n visibly relaxed and sighed.

“What are you doing in here?” they questioned. He hardly ever stepped away from the celebrations that transpired after a successful job, which was exactly what was happening right then, and their confusion grew when he locked the door as it slid closed behind him.

“Checking up on you,” his statement was plain, changing tone right at the end with the newfound absence of his vocoder as he shed the mask that often obscured his entire face.

That was another positive y/n found in all this, his face. Silver hair framed undeniably handsome features, and the sight of it made their heart flutter in their chest ever so slightly. It was a rare occurrence, so the effect was something they were never quite able to get used to.

“What, worried your prisoner got too comfortable and fell asleep for once? Unlikely,”

“You aren’t a prisoner,”

The only response Silvo received was an eyeroll as y/n turned their attention back to the window. While they could no longer see him, the rough clank they heard from behind indicated he had set down his mask. They wondered what his intention was, first locking the door and now putting his things down as though he intended to stay. Their questions didn’t remain unanswered for very long, though, and they turned back around rather violently upon feeling the bed dip under Silvo’s weight.

“Careful, you’ll give yourself whiplash,” he teased. In that moment y/n realized he had also removed his jacket and discarded it alongside his mask, leaving him in only the loose fabric of his shirt tucked into pants tucked into boots. Said garments brushed against the arm they leaned on to remain balanced, and if it wasn’t for the fact that they were so confused, the sudden proximity might have brought a blush to their face.

“Well, now I’m really wondering,” they crossed their arms as the words left their mouth, then making it a point to emphasize every word as they repeated their earlier question. “What are you doing in here?”

“You’re struggling to sleep, I have a solution,” he spoke as though it was the most casual thing in the galaxy, shrugging and kicking off his boots as he did so.

Y/n scoffed at him, arms still crossed.

“And what might your solution be?”

“I can sing you to sleep,”

This time y/n laughed, and as they did they fell backward into a lying position. They ran their hands over their face as Silvo spoke up again, allowing them to rest there over closed eyes.

“I’m being completely serious,”

Opening their eyes again, y/n shot him a look of disbelief, but the expression that awaited them on the receiving end actually did seem serious. Silvo sat waiting with raised brows, eyes trained on their face with great intensity. Now curious and unwilling to risk hurting his feelings, y/n begrudgingly shifted toward the far end of the bed to make space for him.

“Ah, I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist,” His eyes practically lit up when they moved, and the urgency at which he climbed in beside them could only be described as enthusiastic.

Silvo had settled on a sitting position with his back against the wall and legs outstretched beneath the covers, which y/n took as an opportunity to use his thigh as a pillow and shifted so their face ended up pressed against it. The captain opened his mouth to speak, to question it, but y/n interrupted him with an answer before he could even ask.

“You barged into my room and interrupted my alone time, so I’m going to invade your personal space,” they stated as they stretched into a more comfortable position. “Now sing, pretty boy,”

Their newfound ‘pillow’ shook beneath them as a laugh reverberated through Silvo’s body, amused.

“It’s hardly invading if I like it, but whatever you say, darling,”

Y/n’s ears perked up at his use of a pet name. Even though they had been the one to do it first, their heartbeat quickened at the sound. They hoped he couldn’t tell.

“Your heart is beating rather quickly, are you perhaps ill?” Silvo feigned concern, but the faint hint of a smirk could be heard in his voice.

Of course he could tell. They had dug themself into a ditch in getting so close; he could physically feel it.

“Shut up and sing,”

But Silvo’s offer continued to be further delayed, because as y/n spoke they smacked his thigh in retaliation to his teasing. He recoiled dramatically, and as a result y/n slid back onto their original pillow with a thud. They glared at his now pouting face.

“If you’re going to be so ungrateful I could always just leave…” Silvo made a move to get up as he spoke, tone clearly lighthearted, but was stopped by fingers promptly wrapping themselves around his wrist. A smirk returned to his lips. “Desperate, are we?”

“Just get in here,”

The position the two took on that time was far different than before. More intimate, to be exact. Silvo was laying down fully, and y/n’s head found its place on his chest as his arm encircled their back. Neither spoke for a moment, leaving the room as silent as it could be with the constant hum of the ship and the crew’s everlasting noisiness.

Eventually, the quiet beginnings of a song filled the air. It’s not one y/n recognized, but Silvo’s voice is soothing and they let out a content hum to let him know that without feeding his ego too much. As the song carried on his words became clearer but remained soft, accompanied by a gentle hand moving back and forth along their shoulder.

The world around them seemed to fade away as y/n lost themself in Silvo’s song just as they had with the stars before he showed up, and they finally drifted off to sleep there in his arms, grateful he wasn’t screwing around when he said he had a solution.

That was the first good night’s sleep they got in a very long time. Silvo was just glad his excuse to get close to them provided some benefit.

[zorilleerrant]

things I think are responsible for the reading comprehension crisis, rather than the things people always talk about:

people get so worried that kids will hate reading that they profusely compliment any analysis young kids make, even when it's blatantly wrong, like A Modest Proposal levels of wrong. which means later when someone argues they refuse to listen because they think they're perfect at analyzing books

teachers are so overworked and undersupplied (and often assholes) that they demand only a specific version of analysis that they agree with and if anyone has any competing arguments they get their grades docked. possibly due to above

because of the literacy crisis, people keep putting huge, daunting classics in front of kids instead of fun books. this leads kids to believe that books can't be fun. or that books can only be fun if you pretend they have nothing to say

knowing that encouraging reluctant readers in reading literally anything improves literacy, people start encouraging all readers the same way. this leads to kids believing they're super smart and special readers who read way above grade level when they're actually falling seriously behind

the attitude of 'everyone has something worthwhile to say' means that people work really hard to compliment students who say things that are pointless or even fundamentally wrong. while withholding praise from students who make creative contributions in case it seems 'unfair'

that weird thing where kids now believe that everyone has to agree on everything or they're experiencing violence

increased push for diverse perspectives in fiction simultaneous with a push against describing the backgrounds or social situations of various authors (or historical figures in general) means there's less context and more confusion

it seems like people have stopped explaining that you can enjoy something artistically while disagreeing with its message or values? I blame advertisers for this one because it's the thing that lets kids not fall for commercials

too much emphasis on how 'everyone is smart' instead of placing less social import on intelligence. leads to ideas like 'no one can be more talented at anything than anyone else, they only practiced more' which makes more perceptive kids dumb down their analysis so no one thinks they're being stuck up. it also makes people believe no two books could be saying different things

the strong push against TV, movies, video games, etc. being considered art means people no longer bother to analyze them artistically. so they don't exercise the same skills they'd need for reading while doing other things

and the related push that reading is always a 'brainy' activity and all books are 'equally smart', meaning that even books that don't say much must secretly be incredibly complex and have deep, well-researched messages. which leads to people inventing things that aren't there. and since they have nothing to practice on, also no learning how to pick up on things that are there

the idea that there's some inherent divide between 'mindless' activities and 'intellectual' activities, and that it's a trait of the activities themselves, not how people engage with them. so people are under the impression they don't have to try to do anything in particular. it'll just happen

the creepy thing where people universalize history and think everything has always been the same as it is now, only worse (or better, depending) and related misunderstandings

whatever has happened to fact-checking

novels genuinely are worse quality now because there's less money in it and therefore way more constraints on who writes and what they write and how it gets popularized

[tales-of-wocdes]

With the book on bugs to eat scenario you mentioned that reading isn't going well and I think my heart is breaking at the idea that mc struggles with normal kid stuff like reading/writing

Well MC is a child, so I imagine it depends a lot on your MC if they have these troubles. Or perhaps more how much trouble they have with these things since I do everyone has a little trouble at least.

But canonically, MC cannot read in the current demo, so it seemed like something plausible for the snippet :D Context here.

----------------------

You wish you were back in the void.... Ok not really, that was much much worse. Still, learning the alphabet is so.... boring? Hard? Tedious? It's hard to determine what excactly is making it so hard.

The squiggles are so hard to tell apart! Individually you can sort of tell, but then you have to remember each one, and when they are right after one another, like in "proper" books Havard has, it's just a mess! How can people tell what the mess says!

The squiggles, they might be called letters... You were watching a pretty bird while Havard was explaining that part. The squiggles are hard to tell apart. That might be what is making this so hard. You want to learn! Maybe.

Havard reads to you sometimes, and books have whole worlds in them, hidden behind the mess that is writing! Such cool and awesome things, like stories of heroes, dragons and mages!

Who knew.

But right now, you have no idea what the mess in front of you is. Writing is no better, it's hard to start with but you have trouble holding a pen with your ruined hands... You think this would be easier if you could try doing the squiggles yourself over and over again, but you can't.

So, you are focusing on reading for now. Yet, it just blurs together. Havard says you just have to learn at your own pace, and just keep at it, not worrying about the other kids. Still, it is hard...

Havard probably notices your troubles. He always does. Like normal, he smiles and taps the page. "How about we take a break. Have a little snack."

You perk up! Snacks are good! So you nod.

He brings out milk and cookies!

Definitely better than the void.

[unoislazy]

Sneak Peak?

(Arthur Morgan x reader)

Because it’s been so long since I’ve written I feel like I’ve lost my touch a bit. I’m gonna leave a snippet of something I’ve written so far and I would like to know how you guys feel about it!!

Context: Childhood friends to lovers

“I’m in a lot of trouble right now.” He said, nearly out of breath as he grabbed your hand desperately. You stared at him for a moment, trying to process what he was saying as you tried to string together a proper sentence.

“You’ll be alright, right? You always make it out okay.” You said optimistically. The boy in-front of you gave you a charming smile. He had just shown up on your doorstep, which was no different than normal but this time he was winded and bleeding… Your concern was evident through the farrowing of your eyebrows and the worry in your eyes, but you dared not voice them, not now.

“You know I do, but… I don’t think we can stay here for much longer.” He replied, looking back over his back as if he was being watched. You too looked over his back trying to see if you could make out any figures in the area behind him, but to you there was not a soul in sight.

“We?” You asked, taken aback. It was almost as if you had only then processed his words as you took your attention off the empty area of dirt and leaves behind the boy and turned to once again meet his striking blue eyes.

“Me and the gang, we got into some issues with the law and I only have a few hours before I have to go.” He explained. You knew this was going to happen eventually, but even so you still didn’t feel as if you prepared yourself well enough for this day to come.

“Before you leave… I want you to take this.” You quickly grabbed a letter that you had stored in your drawer, in preparation for this day. “I don’t want you to open it until you’re gone, okay?” To that, the boy nodded.

“I promise you I’ll come back to you.”

And with a swift kiss on the forehead, and longing goodbyes, he was gone. That was the last you had seen or heard of the boy named “Arthur Morgan” for quite some time.

Many years had passed at this point and whilst you had never forgotten that boy, you had a strong feeling he had forgotten about you. Or worse.

But it was no concern of yours now, you were grown now. There was no point in delving into the “what ifs” of your childish fantasy. You still lived in the same old house, living a quiet life. A boring yet decent one, you didn’t know why you stayed. You had everything you’d need to leave and lead a more eventful life.

However, deep down you knew why you stayed.

You stayed for him.

On the off chance that that boy would find his way back to you. That he would come back and keep the promise he made to you all those years ago. But the other side of you knew, that was never gonna happen.

Your internal argument continued until you heard a knock on your door.

You brushed off your hands from the residue left over from whatever task you had found yourself partaking in before turning to get the door. You didn’t often get visitors but when you did it was usually just one of your neighbors or a family friend coming to check up on you. So with that expectation in mind, you walked towards the door and grabbed the handle with confidence, twisting and yanking it open with ease while saying your greetings to who you thought would be,

“Mrs. Baker I told you last time, I don’t need any more b-”

You cut your sentence short as your eyes quickly landed upon, not the older woman you expected, but a younger man. He was quite tall and he looked to be about your age, and despite his rough appearance he stood on your porch as awkwardly as a school boy in the front of a class.

“Oh, I’m sorry I thought you were someone else, how can I help you?” You asked, deciding it was best to find out what this man was here for. Upon further inspection, you realized there was a strange nostalgic quality to his face. You couldn’t quite place it before but it felt as if you had seen this man once before.

“I.. uh…” The man started, before he quickly turned towards his satchel and began to dig through it. It didn’t take long for him to grab a thin envelope out and display it. It was clearly opened but a name was visible on the front. “Is there anyone here by this name?” He asked.

You curiously looked towards the envelope and noticed…

It was your name.

Your eyebrows scrunched as you looked from the envelope to the man holding it once again. Why would this man be asking for you…?

It was then you took a closer look at him, he was quite tan, his hair was a gorgeous brown and his eyes…

His eyes

“Arthur…?” You whispered. It couldn’t be.

“How do you know my…” The man before her looked at her with a puzzled look before it quickly clicked with him. How could he not recognize you? Sure it had been several years since he had been back but he prided himself on being able to memorize your features.

Unfortunately the memory betrays one no matter how hard they try to defy it.

[obsessionsandme]

Something about these two panels together have always struck a nerve with me. Because here you have Jason saying that Dick was always the favorite because of his skill, but right after Jason's death, Bruce talks about how similar they are. And seeing that this panel is right after Bruce punched Dick, it's clear Bruce is expressing the aspect of both Dick and Jason that he hates to some degree- the fact that they both were independent and wouldn't just follow everything he said. Sure, from Bruce Wayne's perspective, this can be taken as being a control freak and hating that your sons won't let you be a control freak over their lives because not doing this, to you, puts them in danger and you hate that. However, from Dick's perspective, I could easily see this as Bruce hating Dick's independence and how he thinks for himself, with this seemingly being a trait about Dick that he hates greatly (considering the fact he's saying this about Dick right after punching him- just context wise if someone punches you and says something it can be inferred that the reasons behind their dislike of you to the point of punching you are in the words they say right before and right after punching you). And this is a trait Dick shares with Jason! So in a way, Dick has had to have felt that, at the bare minimum, him and Jason share the same trait Batman hates so they are at the very least near equal. But it gets worse: Batman has adopted Jason and not Dick resentful for asking why Batman did this.

So, from Dick's perspective, he would clearly feel like the less favorite child. Not only does he share the "fatal flaw" that Jason had which Bruce seems to hate so much and didn't even have the decency to die from it so that other kids like Jason wouldn't have the chance to become Robin and die, he also wasn't adopted. And Bruce kicks him out!

I don't know about y'all but I would very much feel like the hated child in this dynamic.

To elaborate a little more on the whole not having the decency to die from his flaw, it comes from Bruce right before these panels saying that Dick didn't obey Bruce but he was lucky enough to survive, where Jason wasn't. Dick picks up pretty quickly that this is Bruce blaming him. Dick takes this into a different direction by saying that Bruce is blaming him for leaving leading into Bruce taking in Jason, but I'd say the way Bruce phrases it, it seems like he holds some resentment towards Dick for being lucky enough to not die from his injuries when he didn't listen to Bruce. It's very sickening of Bruce to do and say but it feels authentic to him.

Back to the earlier panel: after Jason is reborn, of course he isn't the favorite at that point but Jason very explicitly says that Bruce "always loved" Dick more, which very much shouldn't feel like the truth to Dick with all this context. Imagine the fallout of Jason's death being revealed to him at some point and what that would do. It's sickening. And imagine Dick in that fight thinking to himself, "You were the favorite always."

[doomed2repeat]

I know some people use the argument that Colin “lead Penelope on” as a reason to dislike him or want him to grovel, but that’s putting the fuckboy filter on him that he doesn’t deserve. Saying Colin was leading Penelope on implies some premeditated motive that Colin simply did not have. Lead her on to what? More friendship??

Colin was not leading Penelope on, Penelope lead herself on, I’m sorry to say it. Literally everything Colin did was accompanied by a reminder that they were just friends, with him verbally reminding her they were just friends even, and despite it all, Penelope maintained hope. That’s normal, and relatable (I know I’ve been there), but that doesn’t make her hope Colin’s fault, and with Colin being unaware of it, it especially doesn’t make it his responsibility.

Colin and Pen’s problem was that the way they saw their relationship never matched up from the beginning. From the moment they met Penelope was in love with him and framed their relationship around that love, while Colin only saw friendship. This is one person in the friendship catching feelings and trying to romanticize platonic aspects of that friendship. Penelope was always primed to treat his behavior with rose colored glasses and hope, while Colin was absolutely oblivious to how she was taking his friendliness, and worse- he couldn’t recognize her crush because that is how she’s always acted with him.

And as their childhood friendship developed into their adult years, Colin didn’t transition into treating Pen like an adult woman that he should distance himself from, because he still saw her as his friend and didn’t realize anything had changed. This is pretty much the problem behind the “You do not count” situation. Colin means he could never stop talking to her because of their established friendship, while Penelope hears “you do not count as a woman.”

Colin might’ve been acting in ways that were inappropriate for a regency man and woman to do, but within the context of them being friends for years, from before her debut, it’s obvious that Colin was just continuing childhood behaviors - not changing them in a way that would lead Penelope on- because Colin didn’t see any reason to change them. He doesn’t see a girl with a crush, he sees Pen, his old childhood friend. He didn’t think to be careful with her romantic feelings because he doesn’t know she has any. He doesn’t think to be careful with her reputation because he doesn’t consider this longstanding friendship to be scandalous.

If Colin was more situationally aware, the only way to avoid this whole thing would be for Colin to have stopped interacting with Penelope outside of basic politeness once he realized her crush on him, but as we all know, Colin doesn’t consider Pen someone he could cut off, and he is not situationally aware. And so yeah, we’re all groaning because as viewers we can see all the little ways Colin is overstepping and braking social rules, but do you really think Colin sees it?

“Leading Penelope on” implies that Colin was intentionally playing with Penelope’s feelings to get something out of her. But this is a true “Oblivious Colin” moment. Give the boy some grace, he just didn’t know!!! It’s a friends to lovers story. Colin is just in the friends phase. It might be frustrating until he falls for her, but it’s what we signed up for!

[sweetbillwriting]

In The Dead of Night

FOUR

Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)

Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie, especially because I haven't seen the movie.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

I didn't ask for permission to take Simone's phone, but I took it harshly from her hand and looked closely at the Snapchat story. It really was Eric, dressed in a big gray t-shirt and with sweaty hair and face. I started it over when it ended just to look at him over and over inhale from the joint. I didn't notice Simone and Angelica looking at me strangely where I sat between them, breathing faster and faster.

“Do you know him?” Asked Simone in irritated confusion.

“No… But his brother is my best friend…” I said lowly and continued to look at Eric. I recognized every tattoo on his hands and arms, and his eyes looked sad, like they did when he was lost in thoughts.

“Robin?” Asked Angelica, surprised. She had met him a few times, but he acted just as polite and nice as usual. That he would have a brother like Eric probably shocked her just as much as others.

“Yeah…” I didn't have more to say than that because I was busy looking at Eric over and over.

“So he has lied to you? And said he's dead? I didn't think he hated him so much,” said Simone with a scoff. I looked up at her, and she took her phone back.

“Hate him?”

“Robin has always hated Eric, and I understand him. Eric is an egotistical, manipulative addict.”

I couldn't stop myself from being offended on his behalf and gave her an angry look.

“You're his ex! Of course you think that!” I stood up in protest, and she laughed unamused and looked down at her nails with an unreadable face.

“Yes. Yeah, because I saw him take morphine, tramadol, and heroin until he couldn't do anything other than lie in a pile on the floor. You didn't see your boyfriend piss himself on the subway. You don't even fucking know him!” She looked up at me with shiny eyes and furrowed brows. My heart beated hard in my chest. I could see the inner context behind the pictures of Eric she took. She had a picture of him on the subway. It looked like he slept with his mouth open, but maybe he was deep in his intoxication. She was his ex, but I loved him. I turned on my heel and ran out of the club. My head and heart beated with the music, and my stomach twisted like the people on the dance floor, and when I exited the club, I puked up every mojito I had been drinking that night. Bent over with my short dress riding up, I cried loudly. People probably just thought I was drunk, and after some minutes of my panicked cry, a nice guard stopped a taxi for me.

I calmed down in the taxi by the soft movement but thought about Eric's face in the Snapchat. He was alive. I could see him again.

I didn't even think about how Angelica hadn't run after me or that she didn't even send a message. I just opened up Snapchat and added “JickJackRoo42” as a friend.

×××

Robin had lied to me, but even worse, he, or Eric, had lied to Lotti. She missed Eric every day like someone had turned off the sun. I couldn't see a reason to do it and wondered what I missed. Everything was confusing, and I wondered how my dreams came into all of this. I had already decided that they weren’t just dreams, but then I found out. Eric had never been dead, and then suddenly my dreams were completely unbelievable.

The day after meeting Simone went to just think about the mess, ignoring Angelica's phone calls and looking at Snapchat after JickJack’s acception. I needed to meet Eric and see if he was the same amazing guy that he had been in my dreams. Simone had nothing good to say about him, and maybe I had believed his mother’s words a bit too much.

That day it was also time for Odin to come to me, and I knew Robin would leave him at 2 pm. We had the same routine every week. I didn't know what I felt about meeting Robin; the lie was so big, but I also wanted answers. Maybe there was a good explanation but I doubted it.

As always, he unlocked my door by himself, and I could hear him try to make Odin sit by the door, but he refused. He continued to try and try with a more irritated voice every time. Odin's whine and Robin's irritated voice stressed me and made me just more nervous at the thought of talking with Robin about Eric.

I walked out to the hallway with crossed arms, still in my pajamas.

“Let him be; he won't sit. You know it too,” I said with a tired voice and sighed. Robin looked up at me, irritated. He was as perfectly styled as usual, in a pink button-down and white jeans.

“Fine, fine. Maybe we should give up completely? That would look good!”

I looked at him and felt some sort of rebellion. He with his stupid facade. I tried to calm down taking a deep breath but instead the frog in my throat took a moment to jump out of my mouth.

“You lied to me. You lie to Lotti. Eric isn't dead!”

Robin looked at me with raised brows and released the leash, so the dog jumped around my legs. He crossed his arms and smiled in irritation.

“That doesn't concern you!” He said it angrily with a raised voice.

“It does when you lie about such a thing to me!”

He rolled his eyes at me.

“Me and Eric made that decision together for mom's best interest. He has his problems and needs to work on them.”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“His ex said you hate him.”

Robin looked at me confused but then gave me a strained smile when he realized who I've been talking to.

“He's a junkie. Yeah, I have some mixed feelings for him. It's not like it didn't affect others. I've seen my parents cry their eyes out because of him, and he just wanted money. You know, he came high to mom's Christmas party. It was a big thing for her; she had it every 22nd, and he came so fucking high he couldn't even stand up!”

I swallowed hard because I wanted to defend Eric, even if it didn't sound good at all.

“But your mom didn't care what others thought! She loved him more than anything!”

Robin paused and looked away, then laughed unamused.

“I know. That's why he even succeeded in getting her to meet his dealer because he withdrew and couldn't by himself. He forced her to meet criminals because he's a disgusting fuck that has been a parasite on my parents his whole life!”

Robin screamed the last part, and it stressed both me and Odin, but he was the only one of us that started to bark. Robin sighed and dragged a hand through his perfectly styled hair that continued to be just as perfect anyway.

“He and I made this decision together, and it's the best for my mom. He's dead, and he will continue to be,” he said before he turned around and walked out and left me and Odin with our hearts in our throats.

×××

It was too much to think about, and the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. Not to meet Eric, because I knew now he was just as alive as me. I sounded out loudly in frustration while crawling down under the cover and then motioned with my hand to Odin that he was welcome to lay next to me. He jumped up, pleased because he knew a nap meant a long walk after it.

I took a last look on my phone and saw a message from Angelica. I saw the first seven words in the notification banner:

I'm sorry, but you must understand that…

I wasn't interested in reading her excuses and was too tired and confused to even take the time to write that I didn't want to see her again. I just put the phone on my nightstand and closed my eyes. I would have probably felt different if I knew a guy named Jack had accepted my friend request just ten minutes after I'd fallen asleep. I didn't notice it until I woke up an hour later, but then I also had a chat message from him. I looked at the notice with a bit of panic. If I opened it, he would see I had looked at it, and I must answer quite fast to not seem weird. What did I want from him? I just knew I wanted to come close to Eric, but I couldn't write that to him. Lies, lies, lies. I needed lies. I opened the chat when I felt I had some lies neatly organized in my head.

Jack: Who are you?

Della: Hey, we met at a party once, and I wonder if you have Eric's address?

Jack: Eric's? Yeah sure. Do you want to buy?

I looked at my screen and sighed. Fuck, he really was selling drugs.

Della: I just want to know where he lives. Or have his number.

Jack: Haha ok. You girls…

He gave me both Eric's number and his address, just like that, without knowing who I was at all, but I guess it was different when a girl wanted that information about a guy than the other way around, and it wasn't like many were a threat to Eric when he looked like that. I smiled to myself and felt heat in my cheeks when I thought about his height and muscles. I didn't just miss Eric as a person but also his amazing body, and now I knew where he lived. He lived in the same town as my oldest sister, Demi. It was a bigger town, but my sister lived in a well-trimmed suburb. It wasn't that far away, a two-hour car ride. It would be so easy going there; I could do it tomorrow if I wanted to. Just borrow one of mom and dad's cars and… Go there.

×××

My parents never asked so many questions anymore. I was a grownup who hadn't done anything stupid in many years and had a responsible life, so when I wanted to borrow the car for a time, they didn't ask what I would do, not even when I didn't say for how many days I would have it. My dad just joked that I must pay for the gas by myself and that they wanted me for dinner soon.

Odin had traveled long distances in cars before and didn't fuss just as long as I stopped so he could pee and drink some water. He was an energetic, irritating dog quite often, but he didn't really have problems when he knew he must focus. It was like he could see the difference between different situations and when he needed to be calm.

In the car, I listened to the music me and Eric listened to together. For a few seconds, I even had the thought of listening to his Spotify account, but that felt a bit too much like stalking. It was weird that it felt like stalking, but not the fact that I was in his town. How I could fool myself that it was worse to listen to his Spotify than park outside his apartment building was a mystery.

I walked Odin on the street with a beating heart. Eric may be right there, and I would see him for real. I wondered how I would react to seeing him. It felt like I would probably cry. I had a bit of PMS, and usually that made me tear up easily.

Odin found a big pile of autumn leaves where he started to play around, and while he did that, I looked around the street. It was a rough neighborhood, and I would probably not dare sit in my car alone there at night. There was graffiti on the buildings, and the people walking by had a tough attitude I wasn't used to in my town. They didn't seem to see a reason to move away for someone else and talked loudly to not be drowned out by the cars driving by. I didn't belong there; even if I had traveled and seen much of the world, I could feel I didn't belong. I wasn't afraid or uncomfortable; I just had learned to know where I could flourish, and this wasn't it.

When the wind started to blow coldly, I began to freeze in my trenchcoat and moved to the car again, to Odin's disappointment. He would probably be pleased smelling pee and playing with orange leaves the whole day, but I needed warmth and soon a coffee to have the energy to wait on Eric.

It turned out I needed more than a coffee to be able to wait on Eric because he didn't show himself before three o'clock, but when he did, he really made an entrance into my life. He threw the door to the building open and walked out like he owned it, or like the street was his runway. He looked just like he did in my dreams. Tall and threatening but with a sad disposition.

He stopped after walking a few long steps to light a cigarette, then he continued to walk towards my car. My heart beated harder and harder in my chest for every step he took. Odin whined in the back and startled me when he suddenly made an excited bark. Eric turned his gaze to the car but couldn't see anything because of the tinted windows, but I got a moment to look straight at his face. He was so beautiful with his green mesmerizing eyes and plump lips. Even if he had small tattoos spread out in his face, he looked like artwork.

He took a drag from his cigarette but then turned his eyes forward again and walked by my car and out of my vision. I heard myself make a pained sound and pressed my hands against my eyes, even if I had worked long and hard to get my eyeliner perfect. I couldn't understand why I did this. Either I should just make contact with him or leave him alone; stalking was not an answer; it would just lead to insanity.

Even if I hadn’t thought such wise thoughts, I took long walks around his neighborhood with Odin and stared at everything that must be his everyday life. Just a block away was a gym, and I pictured him working out his toned body there. In the same building was a grocery store. He had said he loved meat and didn't eat much carbs. He cared about his diet, and I wondered if that place had what he needed. I stood and looked at a sign for tenderloin when Odin started to pull on the leash. I sighed, irritated, and pulled back on the leash, but he didn't stop pulling.

“Hey, hey, buddy,” said a voice I recognized and made my stomach and throat knot together. I followed the voice and saw Eric in his long coat making Odin sit in front of him with just a snap with his fingers. Literally, he pointed towards the ground and snapped with his fingers and made the dog sit down and look at him expectantly. Eric smirked a little and shook his head, like Odin's behavior was just silly.

“Cute dog,” said Eric kindly with a shy smile towards me, then backed off like he had done something wrong. I looked at him with big eyes without succeeding to get a word out until he had walked two steps back.

“Thank, thank you,” I stuttered and cringed because of my own awkwardness. He looked back at me with a small smile and then brightened up as he walked towards me with his hand in his pocket. In the other hand, he had a package of eggs I just noticed. When he came up, he pulled out his hand to give me a small piece of paper with a picture of a neon sign; “The Pulse.” Under it was a text: “Failed Human Experiments” and the date for that Saturday.

I looked at him confused, and he looked at me once unsure.

“Ehm, if you want to experience some sick DJ’s,” he said with a shoulder shrug.

“Oh, oh, it's, it's you?”

I felt my cheeks heat.

“No, no. Some friends. But yeah. You can come, if you want.” He shrugged again and then walked away so fast I didn't even have time to give him a goodbye. If I hadn't met him before, I would have thought he was weird and maybe thought some prejudiced things about his looks, but I knew he had a shy side, and it probably didn't come natural to him to talk with someone unknown like that. He was probably also used to people having prejudices about him, some of them even true.

I looked at his broad back covered in the black coat while Odin whined by my feet. I hurried back to the car to be alone again and be able to let Odin sit by himself in the back so I didn't need to think about him. Then I leaned my forehead to the steering wheel and cried. It was really Eric. Kind, sweet, dangerous Eric. My Eric.

I looked at the paper, damp from my sweaty hand. Saturday. The Pulse. He must be there.

×××

“So a guy?” Asked my oldest sister, Demi, while looking at me doing my eyeliner in front of the bathroom mirror. She sat on the edge of the bathtub while her oldest daughter, Lina, sat on the toilet lid. I didn't really appreciate an audience while doing my makeup, but they had been nice enough to give me a bed when I had asked to sleep there to go out on a date. A date, that was what I called it. I said the same thing to Robin after having left Odin with him in an awkward manner.

“Yeah, I met him on Tinder.” I lied and tried to fix the wing on my left eye.

“What's his name?” Asked my sister’s daughter curiously with a giggle.

“Eric…” I said with a small smile and searched after my powder in my makeup bag.

“You're blushing!” Teased Demi with a giggle. I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop smiling. I was such a lost case.

“He's just really sweet.”

“Can I see his pictures?”

I stopped searching in my makeup bag to just imagine her reaction to Eric's appearance. Her husband was a teacher and looked like the stereotypical math teacher in outdated glasses and dad bod.

“I want to meet him first before sharing that. Maybe you know him or something.”

I didn't believe my sister knew him, but I needed an excuse, and on top of that, I didn't even have any pictures of Eric on my phone.

“Yeah okay. But be careful, and if he seems weird in any way, just leave.”

I smiled a little; her “big sister warning” was cute.

“I promise.”

×××

The club was not far from where Eric lived and didn't look like much to the world from the outside; it was just the same neon sign as on the paper but a long line with people, alongside the building, waiting to get in. It calmed me to see, but it also scared me because many of them had a similar look as Eric, but of course not his looks.

I had never gone to a club by myself before and probably looked like I didn't belong there. Not so much because of my appearance because there were other not so expressive people also standing in line, but I probably looked quite terrified, so a girl with blue hair felt some sort of need to take care of me until we came in, and then it was me who said goodbye because I had a mission.

“One mojito, please, with extra mint!” I shouted to the bartender with a shaved tattooed skull. He gave me a nod, and while he mixed, I looked around in the club.

It looked quite rundown, with scribbles and posters falling apart from the walls, but I understood it was a part of the look they were going for. They wanted a punky aura even if they played techno and other electronic genres.

When I'd paid for my drink, I walked around and looked at people dancing hysterically, chatting up by the walls, or pushing to get some air in the small alley outside. It was a cool place, but my friends, like the girls in the salon who were much more uptight than me, would have complained about the smell of weed and the dirty toilets. Robin would have refused to even go in.

After my second turn, I had drunk up my drink and walked to the bar to get a new one. It was crowded with people around it, and the bald guy and a guy with long hair worked as fast as they could. Or almost as fast as they could because both of them sometimes took a small break to talk to a guy by the bar closest to the wall. He had been so annoying and took a high chair to sit by the bar even if there were signs that chairs by the bar weren't allowed. I looked at the bald guy throwing a can of Coke towards the guy on the chair, and I saw a big tattooed hand catch it easily. “PARA”. It read on his knuckles, and I knew “DISE” was written on the other hand. Eric. I sighed at my own bodily reactions when I saw him completely. He wore an acid patterned t-shirt in a khaki color, had his little dagger dangling from his earlobe, and black smudged eyeliner. He laughed at the bald guy and opened his can so he could mix it with his glass of whiskey.

“One mojito, please. With extra mint,” I said distractedly to the bald guy as I continuously glanced over at Eric. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to see his every movement.

“Sure.”

If I had looked at the bartender, I would have seen him smirk at me by my obvious fascination for his friend, but I didn't notice, I just noticed Eric looking around a bit bored and drinking his whisky cola a bit too fast.

“Do you want your drink?” Asked the bartender with humor, and I looked at him confused, then down at the mojito in front of me.

“Oh, sorry…”

I grabbed my card but looked towards Eric again. I paid with fumbling fingers and then dropped the card on the ground. I groaned loudly to myself; I was just too embarrassing. When I came up from the floor again, I met the bartender’s eyes. 

“Is it Eric you’re looking at?” He nodded towards him where he sat, playing with his cigarette pack. “Sorry to say, but… He's not interested.” 

I furrowed my brows in confusion. The bartender licked his lips and looked towards Eric, then leaned closer to me like he would tell me a secret. 

“He has a broken heart.” 

I looked at the bartender, and my eyes probably looked sad because he nodded like he felt the same thing.

“But I get you. He's a handsome dude, and you're not the first one to try.” 

I continued to just look at him with big eyes. I was disappointed, fascinated, and worried for Eric. A broken heart. I turned my eyes towards Eric again, who had stood up with a cigarette between his lips. He walked by me on his way out, and I tried to catch his eyes. I would almost throw myself at him to just get some attention, but his gaze was high, like he looked over everyone else from his high height. I could see girls looking at him with big eyes, but he didn't acknowledge anyone, even if some of them were hot in the same way as his ex. He just wanted a smoke. 

××× 

While the DJs played, I just looked dreamily towards Eric, trying to get him to look back at me, but he acted like I didn't exist. He still sat by the bar, so I stayed there too. I saw him look towards me a couple of times but lowered his gaze at once. I had thought we would have the same chemistry as in my dreams, but in real life Eric wasn't at all as easy to come close to. In a way, it was understandable. We weren't alone here, and we didn't make the rules. 

The bartender, Nick, gave me an empathetic look, and when Eric walked away to the restroom, he looked at me with a shrug. 

“He's shy too. He isn't that fond of attention, not even from pretty girls, like you.”

I smiled a little pained and looked away, trying to pretend I didn't care so much, even if I did. 

When the clock was 01.00 AM, I started to give up, and maybe Nick noticed that because suddenly he shouted towards me. 

“The gang is going to Jacks; a dude living across the street, do you want to join? Eric can take care of you!” 

I looked at Nick surprised, then at Eric, who had a similar look, but it shifted towards numbness. I really didn't think he would be so socially awkward. 

“Sure, okay,” I said and smiled at Nick and then at Eric, who gave me a big-eyed look. That pretty, weird boy. 

“Nick!” Shouted Eric and leaned over the bar; he said something to him, then he got his coat that was laying under the bar counter. He turned to me, and with long but slow steps, he walked up to me. 

“Eh, I'm going to Jacks now; I need a quieter place, but you can come with me if you want?” He looked between me and the door, which made him seem insecure and stressed. I wanted to calm him down in some way, even more when I realized he couldn't really stand still. For a moment I wondered if he had taken something that made him act like he did, but it didn't look like it. 

“Sure, okay. I must get my jacket in the wardrobe.” 

“Sure, cool, I’ll wait outside.” 

He pointed to the door and then walked away. He didn't need to think about pushing forward because people moved away from him like he was death himself. Big and black and frightening. I walked to the wardrobe, pushing my way forward without seeing where I really was going because of all the people in the way, but for once I didn't become irritated. My body was full of raspberry red, sugary syrup, and humming like hummingbirds. I took my trench coat and then met Eric. I didn't feel nervous anymore, the determination and joy had taken over, and now I was just focused on getting to know him. Again? 

He stood a bit away from the entrance, smoking a cigarette with his other hand stuffed in the front pocket of his black cargo pants. The wind played with his long coat. I had thought it would be just me to walk up to him and then leave, but in front of him stood two girls. They must have been in their early twenties and giggled hysterically. Eric looked as detached as he had done before and even yawned while the girls in front of him jabbed on. When he lifted his eyes and saw me, he actually looked relieved. 

“Ready to go?” He said loudly to me, so I could hear him where I was. The girls turned around to see me and looked at me up and down. 

“Yeah!” I said with a bright smile and walked up to him, who just gave the girls a nod as a goodbye and then started to walk. 

“Ehm, I'm Eric, by the way,” he said and looked at me quickly. 

“I'm Della, or Delilah, but everyone says Della.” 

Now he turned to me for real and slowed down his steps. He smiled kindly, and it made the raspberry-red syrup boil in my blood. 

“I like Delilah. It's a nice name. Ehm, do you know Nick?” 

“No… Eh, I just think he thought I looked lonely. I'm here visiting, so I don't have any friends here.” 

He nodded a little and took a drag of his cigarette. 

“You're quite brave… I don't want to; it sounds off, but I mean, you're here alone with a dude looking like me. I really don't mean I'm that sort of guy when I say that I just know that-” 

I giggled at his rambling, and when he looked at me, I gave him a warm smile. 

“I get it; I get what you mean, but... You look really kind,” I said honestly. Eric looked at me with big eyes but then down in the ground with a little smile. He dropped his cigarette and stomped on it casually. 

“Ehm, Jack lives on the corner, on the left side. He's quite weird though, just so you know, but there isn't anything malicious in him. He was just dropped as a child or something.” 

I laughed a little, and Eric gave me a shy smile as an answer. I looked down at his hand that hung between us. It looked like it craved a smaller hand to hold, but I would never dare to do that, not to a guy like Eric who didn't give any flirtatious vibes at all. 

“I don't know if you remember, but you gave me the leaflet about this night? The DJs? It was outside of this store-” 

Eric looked first confused, then a light went up. 

“Yeah! You had that dog. He was nice,” he said with a small smile. I wanted to say that Odin adored him, but I didn't say anything; I just smiled back. 

We went up to the second floor where Jack lived, and Eric knocked on the door. A short guy with a bleached buzz cut and as many tattoos as Eric, let us in and looked at me up and down. 

“Shit. The fuck man, you always get the best ass,” he said, hitting Eric's chest. 

“Don't say shit like that. Be nice, Jackie,” said Eric and laid a friendly hand on his shoulder. 

“Sorry, my lady. What's your name, pretty?” He asked and helped me take off my coat while Eric took off his. I had already come up with how to explain my interaction with him on Snapchat, but it wasn't needed because Jack didn't react to my name. He gave Eric a brotherly hug and asked him if he wanted a blunt. 

“Yeah,” he answered shortly and gave me a look. I hadn't smoked since my European trip and knew I could get quite embarrassing from it. I didn't seem to need much to think I was a great philosopher. 

I looked around in the apartment with a beer in my hand, even if Jack had just given me the bottle and not permission to walk around, it felt like he would be chill with it. There wasn't much to see though. It was more or less just a bed, a couch, and a TV. Over the bed hung a poster with a marijuana leaf, and behind the couch was a mandala tapestry in blue tones. 

“Do you want one, babe?” Jack asked me. At first I didn't react because of the nickname, but when I saw his questioning look, I just shook my head. Eric gave me a fast look before sitting down in the corner of the couch closest to Jack's phone that was connected to the speakers in the corner. There was some trance-like ska playing, but Eric changed it to Sonic Youth’s Kool Thing and leaned back with a sigh. 

“So what are you doing here, pretty? I'm not complaining, not at all, it’s just that Eric isn't really the kind of guy to bring a girl over,” said Jack and sat down in the middle of the couch. My option was to either sit next to him or sit down on the floor, so I sat down on the floor, even if my denim skirt was a bit too tight for it. 

“I got invited by Nick.” 

“Oh, okay… So you're like, ‘with him’?” 

“No.” I smiled a little amused at him because it was obvious what he wanted with this. I gave Eric a look, and he smirked at me. I felt my cheeks warm, but I needed to stay in that moment, not in my dreams or what I wanted to happen. 

“Oh… Where do you live? You can take my bed if you want to. I can take the couch. Aren’t I a gentleman?” 

I laughed. 

“Yeah, Jackie, you seem to be such a gentleman.” 

Me and Eric gave each other a look again, and Jackie gave him a sour look. 

“Don't steal the bitch now!” 

“Jackie! We don't say shit like that!” Eric said, taking a pre-rolled joint, and putting it between his lips. 

“Yeah, yeah, but you, fucking close your eyes and let the grownups talk now!” 

I laughed at the banter and leaned back on my hands. Jackie turned his eyes to me again and scanned my body up and down with bloodshot eyes. 

“So my bed?” 

I shook my head with a smile, looked at Eric again, and stood up. 

“Can I sit next to you? I don't trust that dude,” I said to him and looked at the little space next to him. “The floor got uncomfortable quite fast.”

Eric looked at the little space then moved closer to Jackie, who scoffed and moved in the same direction. I gave Eric a smile and sat down next to him. It was a bit cramped, and to my surprise, he took my legs and laid them in his lap so he could spread out his legs again. He dragged a finger over my black tights but seemed to correct himself and pulled it away fast. He was a good boy.

××× 

“I think it looks better on you!” He said it with a wide smile while looking down on my phone. I showed him a picture of me with bright red hair after he had shown a picture of himself in a bright red short hairstyle. 

“My eyes don't look bright like yours does. Red with your green eyes is magnetic!”

We sat in the same position but in some way closer to each other. It was him who probably scooted closer, so my bum rested against the outside of his thigh. Maybe it was the weed that made him relax because he also had his big, tattooed hand on my shin.

“I had a bit of red here too.” He showed me a picture of him at 20 or something with a high mohawk in black and red. The tattoos on his head were more visible. 

“Oh my god! Did you wear it like that every day?” 

“No, I was forced to put it in a bun and instead got accused of having a 'man bun’.”

We had started to talk about our professions, like you often do with a new person, and he told me about his work as a janitor while I told him about my hair stylist job. Then it floated on to all the weird hairstyles we've had. He thought my job was much more interesting than his, and it was sweet how he could talk about hairstyles he wanted to have and hairstyles he liked on girls. The only thing he shared about his own work was that he worked as a night janitor for several buildings and companies and did everything from fixing the electricity to saving a cat from a ventilation system. 

Nick had joined us from work, and he and Jackie sat and talked with each other, but he looked amused at me and Eric sometimes. I felt some sort of pride that I had made Eric relax but also felt a disappointment sneaking up behind me. It was obvious Nick thought we were flirting, but Eric wasn't flirty; he was just friendly. He was kind and sweet in the same way you’d treat the elderly.

“I think I must go soon; I need some hours of sleep and workout before I go to work," he said while looking at his phone, showing 03:38. 

“Oh,” I said disappointedly and moved my legs from his lap. “When do you start to work?”

“5 pm, I have the first night shift today.” 

Eric stood up and walked out to the hallway, and I followed him to his surprise. 

“So, where do you live when you're here in town?” 

I told him the name of the suburb my sister lived in, and he looked up at me with big eyes after he put on his black vans. 

“That's quite far away… How do you—I hope you don't take the subway all by yourself?” He said it with sincere worry and put on his coat. 

“It's okay.” I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. I had taken the subway alone in New York, Paris, and other metropolitan areas. He stood a while and looked at me while playing with his keys and the cigarette pack in the pocket of his coat. I continued to smile and leaned against the doorframe to the living room. I would go when he had said goodbye. 

“Ehm… I live just around the corner; do you want to borrow my couch? I don't like the thought of you traveling by yourself. I promise, no funny business; I just want to know that you're okay.” 

I looked at him, my cheeks were probably red. I cleared my throat and laughed at my own beating heart. 

“It would be super kind of you, Eric,” I said and dared to move closer to him. I had a stupid idea about kissing him. He smiled but moved back to the door, like he knew and rejected my idea. 

×

[expresso-bean]

(EXTRA) The Man Out of Time [A ShadAmy and Silver Story]: Answers

Pairing: Shadow the Hedgehog x Amy Rose

Description: It has been seven years of peace following the grueling war with Eggman and his army. Though it took time to rebuild what they have lost, life for the Freedom Fighters could not be better. Whether it's finding love or trying to run from their past, celebrating post-war times has been different for each of them.

All is well until a silver hedgehog comes knocking on Amy Rose's door to deliver the tragic news about an incredible force that seems to be the cause of the future's destruction.

Will anyone believe the mysterious hedgehog's cry for help? Or will he be left to fight for his future alone? Read to find out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 13.3k

POV: Third Person

Context: Future!Silver's Timeline

!! I do not own any of the art/gifs/borders used in my chapters. All credits to the rightful owners !!

Masterlist ✦ Memories

'Mental M.S. Log Entry 4703: It's been SEVERAL days since the failure of Trail #13, and I'm starting to lose a bit of hope. Although I don't want to give up, I'm beginning to wonder...'

Silver set his empty glass of chocolate milk aside. The glass was still sticky with syrup since he didn't mix it all correctly. He stared it for a moment before continuing with his log entry.

'Aside from that, the side-effects from this trail are somehow worse than the other previous jumps. Could this be because of what happened?'

Silver held his stomach uncomfortably. He felt as if something inside of him would burst. It was normal after a time jump. Despite all the trials he has endured, he never gets used to the after-effects.

Brain fog, jitteriness, nausea, static-like body, fatigue.

The symptoms mostly meant he couldn't eat anything for the next 12 hours unless he wanted to get extremely ill. Liquids, mostly chocolate milk, would sustain him until tomorrow morning. He would be in the bathroom until the next day if he ate any solids.

'This isn't working. What if it never works? What if something worse happens? If I try again, and I can't find a way out, what will happen to me? More importantly, what will happen to this timeline?'

To say he was feeling defeated was an understatement. Silver was a complete mess. Trial #13 was supposed to be the breakthrough trial. However, a last-minute malfunction almost cost Silver his life.

What he saw left him slightly shaken, but he couldn't admit that. Not even to himself.

'What even was that place?'

'KNOCK. KNOCK'

"Son!? Have you returned already?"

'Oh! End Log Entry!'

Silver rushed to open the door, not even realizing he had locked it upon his return. Standing behind the door, ready to embrace Silver, was his father, Shadow.

"Father! I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had closed the doo-," Before Silver could finish his sentence, his father hugged him tightly. Silver melted slightly into his father's arms and whisper a quiet "hey."

"You're home," His father sighed with relief. He shakily pet Silver's quills and sighed before tugging him closer to him. It was difficult to rest his head anywhere since Silver was an inch or so taller than him. "I'm glad you made it back safe, my son."

He could hear the relief in his voice and the nervous shake in his touch. It was familiar to him. He did this each time Silver returned home safely from a trial.

"Wait," Silver pushed his father away to look at him for a second. His father smiled as big as he could and nodded for Silver to continue speaking. "how did you know I was here?"

"You left the chocolate syrup out."

"Oh."

Silver let go of his father to scratch the back of his neck. Then, he was able to get a good look at him.

His father hasn't changed much since he was little. The most was a couple of new scars on his body now and again. But he's always had the same two thick scars on his left shoulder and a thin, almost faded scar on his right eye that nearly left him blind if it weren't for Tail's astounding technology.

There were no new marks on his father. The only thing that stood out was his empty, tired eyes that forever had sadness embedded within them.

'Another hard battle no doubt,' Silver contemplated for a second, unsure of what to say next. 'If I don't say it now, I won't ever.'

"Father," Silver bit his lip, and Shadow looked at him, waiting for him to continue speaking. Silver was nervous, but if he didn't ask now, he would never get another chance to. "Do you still think this could work?"

"It has to. There's no other way."

Silver was taken aback by his father's bluntness. His words were so fast and cold, almost like they were rehearsed. Silver felt that his father was preparing for this question, and the fact he already had an answer ready to tell him bothered him slightly.

'Is this going to be like all those other questions? Where he gives me vague answers and refuses to tell me the whole truth? He expects me to risk my life for this cause, and still, he wants to keep secrets.'

"But-," Silver stopped himself. He knew what he wanted to say, but fear prevented him from uttering another word. Frustrated, he sighed and muttered a quiet "never mind" under his breath.

"No, don't say never mind," His father interjected. "What's troubling you? You can speak to me about anything, you know this."

"I know," Silver tried not to groan or seem ticked as he knew his father would see that as a sign of disrespect. He knew his father would pay extreme mind to him if he acted rudely. His father was always respectful to him, and even when he wasn't, he apologized and communicated what was bothering him. It was something that Silver had a hard time replicating. "but I'll be alright. I don't need to talk about it."

"It pains me that you don't trust me enough to tell me what's wrong." Shadow tried to look into Silver's amber eyes, but his son refused to look at him. "I will always be here for you. As your father, you ne-"

"I'm scared, okay!? I'm scared! You want me to risk my life and the fact you're still hiding things bothers me! You tell me to trust you, but you why won't you trust me, your own son!" Silver paused to take a breath. He didn't bother to look at his father's face as he attempted to collect himself again. "I didn't get to meet them, and I know that isn't my fault, but you have no right to keep so much from me."

"So-, Silver. You should have told me."

Silver couldn't respond. He only stared at his father silently. There was a deep sense of shame in what Silver had to say. He wanted to take the words back, to frame them differently. But he was sick of keeping it all in. There was no other option but to allow the emotions to burst out.

'How could I? You go through enough already. I don't need you to have to take on my emotional burdens when you still hold your fair share.'

"I'm going to go clear my head for a bit," Silver looked away from his father and darted towards his bedroom door. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

His father stood before him for a second, eying him into submission as his arms crossed over his pumped-out chest. Silver quickly got the message, lowered his body, and stepped back as a sign of respect. He could tell his father wasn't angry with him, but he didn't like that Silver was being emotional and not communicating why.

"We don't part ways while angry, son."

"I'm not angry, I'm overwhelmed!" Silver gritted his teeth, not wanting to cry or embarrass himself further. "I promise I'll tell you later, but I need some time to think, please."

His father looked reluctant at first but gave in and let Silver pass. He was timid as he brushed passed his father and entered the kitchen.

'I'll apologize later, but I need to know how to make this time watch work. If he really wants me to go and fix everything, I need to know how. And even more about this whole time thing.'

His father uttered nothing as Silver rushed out of the room and darted towards the door. Before leaving, he took the pair of black and red keys off the table.

A part of Silver wanted to leave without saying anything to his father. But that would again come off as disrespectful to him. He wanted to avoid as much conflict with his father as he could.

'Hm. I don't want to tell him where I'm going.'

Silver jiggled the keys in his hands as a signal that he would be leaving. His father stared at him blankly, waiting for Silver to say something to him. He sighed, nodded, and waved him off, permitting him to go wherever pleased.

"You may go, just be careful, and come back when you can. And please-"

"I know, father. I just need some time to myself."

Silver quickly gathered himself and left. Silver could feel his father's eyes on him and even caught the quiet "goodbye," his father sent his way when he walked out the door and shut it quietly to mask his emotional state.

Silver eyed his father's signature red and black motorcycle. He has only used it a handful of times, mostly because his father constantly uses it to get around. Not that he can't run, but his Uncle Tails modified it to be a stealth tool. It's completely silent while riding it and has a feature that allows you to blend the rider and the bike into the surrounding area.

'I need to make this quick. Knowing my father, he is probably waiting for me to get home.'

Silver hopped on the bike, adjusting his body and hands to fit the bike. The ignition softly roared at him, and after shifting the hand bar twice, he took off towards his uncle's old lab.

'I need to look for notes, blueprints, or a manual maybe. There must be something I'm not getting right. Why else is this not working?'

Luckily, the roads were empty, which was expected since there weren't many people around this area. People avoid this place like the plague. It was where the first attack was, after all. Silver couldn't blame anyone. He would want to get out of this area too. But his father refuses to leave. Everyone has their reasons; he only wishes to know why his father continues to live in a place where most of his friends are buried.

'I wonder what they were like... If it all goes well, I get to meet them, right?' Silver eyes widened a bit at the thought. His father had told him the plan thousands of times, but he still gets anxious about meeting her. 'I wonder what Mom will say. When she sees me. If anything, I'm more worried about what I will say. I have so much to ask her... and so little time to do all of it.'

Silver let out a shaky breath. He only knew his mother through the questions he would ask his father. But now he will get the chance to meet her. Really MEET her. He gets a bit overwhelmed whenever he thinks about it.

'I'm going to crash if I don't start paying attention to the road...'

There wasn't a single thought in Silver's mind when he pulled up to the old laboratory. A broken, decaying red plane was still parked in the driveway. The lab itself was still in good enough condition other than the door being slashed open.

'It looks like someone broke in. But then why would the plane still be there? There are plenty of valuable parts still on it even if it is a bit run down.'

Silver carefully hopped off the bike. He looked around the landscape of where he was at. There wasn't a soul in sight. Just miles of dirt and the ever-so-often tree.

'I should get inside. I don't want to call attention to myself.'

Upon opening the heavy and slashed door, a flood of memories came rushing back to him.

'So much happened here. I spend some of my best days here with Uncle Tails and Aunt Cream,' Silver pushed the bike inside and took the keys out and  shoved it into his pocket. Silver took a moment to look around for a second. 'I've only come back here a handful of times with my father, but I've never dared to come here alone. Not since that day. Still, it hasn't changed much.'

Silver didn't bother to look for a light switch. Tail's workshop had been abandoned for years. The natural light inside the lab was barely enough for Silver to see properly, but he was willing to work with what he was given.

'Where do I even begin?'

Silver squatted down near a metal desk and began rummaging through the drawers. There were folders upon folders of notes, but none related to the time device.

He continued to search on the desk and found nothing but tools he didn't know how to use and blueprints for devices that never got the chance to be made.

'This is interesting... but still not what I'm looking for.'

Silver got up and placed his left hand softly over his mouth.

"Uncle Tails, where'd you hide everything?"

Silver slowly got up and leaned against the cold, metal table. He let his right arm hang loose as he ruffled his brows to try and think of where more he could search.

'I don't know what I'm looking for,' Silver softly groaned in frustration. 'Uncle Tails... you were the only one who knew... why did you have to leave everyone so soon?'

'SNATCH!'

Silver shivered as the cool metal was ripped away from his wrist. Panicked, Silver swished his arms around into the open air around him but couldn't feel anything or anyone.

"Hey! What was that?" Silver looked around. There wasn't a single dim corner in the shed. He would have known if there was someone in there with him. "Give that back!"

"The time device."

A sultry, deep voice echoed through the workshop. Silver jumped a bit, freaked out by the mysterious voice. He looked around the room, and still, he couldn't see anyone in there with them.

"That means the stone was real," Silver couldn't recognize the voice. It ticked him off since his sense of control over the situation was at a minimum. "Where did you obtain this?"

"I'm not going to give out information like that to just anyone.  I don't even know who you are!"

Something  moved from the wall opposite him. It was faint, but he could barely make out the unstructured outline of a figure in the dim room. When the outline moved again, Silver stepped to try and get away from it. 

'What the? What is that?'

The outline glowed  purple and  covered the being's body and revealed... someone. Their skin was fuchsia with a peach body. Where a nose would be, there was a broken yellow horn, the same yellow as his barren eyes framed with black. He wasn't wearing much gear. Just some tattered purple and black shoes and white gloves with beige bandages wrapped at the end to keep them from slipping off.

'He's too small to be a rhino... and too big to be a beetle... what is he?'

Silver kept staring at the person in front of him, who had a hard time maintaining eye contact with him. Silver sensed a bit of fear from him, but he couldn't have any sympathy for someone who stole that precious device of his.

"Who are you?"

He stepped away from Silver for a second, carefully clutching the device in his hands. Silver put his hand out gently, and he noticed the man untensed his body, and although his nerves were calm, it wasn't enough to return the watch.

"My name is not important," The man spoke. "I would have remembered it if it was."

"Oh," Silver blurted out. He shook his head and then continued. "I'm sorry you can't remember."

'This is awkward. I want to help him, but I have to get the time to watch back.'

"You said 'he' earlier. Did you know my uncle Tails?"

The man tried to think, his forehead wrinkled while trying to recognize if the name rang any bells. He shook his head and looked at the watch closely before flipping it over. He took a second to read the lettering on the back. Still, even long after reading it, he stood still.

'What is he doing?'

He walked up to Silver and grabbed him by the wrist. He clipped the device back on.

"I know that name. That person is deceased. I do not remember him as you do, but I cannot take this. This is yours now."

'Mine? If uncle Tails isn't the 'he' this guy was talking about, then who is?'

"You never answered my question," The man looked at him, confused. Silver thought about each out touching his shoulder, but doing that might staler him, so he decided to smile at him softly. "Did you know my uncle Tails?"

"He was murdered. I feel like I should know who he is," The man gripped his head with a shaky hand. "But I do not."

"It's okay, um, let me see if this helps. His name was Tails. Tails the Fox? This was his lab and he liked to make gadgets and planes. Uh, he made a lot of devices, like this watch. He was friends with Sonic the Hedgehog and married Cream the Rabbit. Does that help at all?"

"Tails. Sonic. Cream," Silver looked at him, anticipating what he had to say. "There were several of you. But, no, they are not the ones I search for. He wasn't the one who proposed the idea of the Time Stone."

'He remembers several of them. That's progress! Who does he remember though?'

"You are different. You were not there when it happened." The man walked over to him and looked him up and down. Silver tensed when he gripped his waist and patted him down along his frame. His face turned hot and he tried to look away to hide his embarrassment. "No, you're too young. You could not have even been alive then."

"Y-yeah, I-I don't remember you either," Silver stepped away from him and cleared his throat. He took a breath to try and relax. He didn't want to embarrass himself further. "I-I wouldn't worry about it. I don't remember a lot of them either. But I know what group you are talking about, at least, I think I do."

"You do?"

"I think so? There were several groups, at least, according to my father,"

'I know their names. Rouge the Bat, Knuckles the Echidna, Sally Acorn, and Vector the Crocodile, but nothing about who they were or what they did in their life. Everyone kept me in the dark. And he doesn't remember either. We'll need to help each other if we want to reveal the truth.'

"You said you didn't remember Sonic, Cream, or Tails. Does Amy or Shadow ring a bell?"

The man's eyes practically lit up. Silver could tell he had recalled something.

"Shadow! I need to speak with Shadow!" He gripped Silver's shoulders,  scaring him a bit. "Do you know where I could find him?"

"You remember! That's great!" Silver smiled, happy he was able to make a bit more progress with the man. "Yeah, I know him. He's my father after all."

The man looked confused, at tilted his head.

"Father?" The man seemed surprised. Silver couldn't blame him. According to his aunt, Shadow wasn't known to be the 'lovers' type. "You're his son?"

"The one and only," Silver stepped away from the man and looked himself over, trying to find a feature that would relate to his father, but realized there was really nothing they physically had in common. "I don't look like either of my parents, so, I understand the confusion."

'I also wonder how black, red, and pink made silver...eh, maybe a relative on my mother's side.'

"But, you remember my father, correct?" Some hope fluttered in Silver's chest seeing the man nod his head. "My mother was also a great fighter, just like him. Her name was Amy, Amy rose. Do you remember her at all?"

Silver looked a bit hopeful. He longed to hear about his mother, to learn as much as he can about her. She lives through the stories of his family. He wants more of her memory; that's all he could ever ask for.

"Amy Rose," The man thought about it again. Silver felt that the name sounded familiar, but it seemed that the man couldn't come up with anything. "I'm sorry, I do not."

"It's okay, I don't either. I never really go to meet her."

"That must... be difficult."

"Sometimes."

Silver stretched out the word awkwardly, trying to mask the sadness. 'Difficult' was an understatement. Even if he wanted to get into how he felt, he wouldn't know where to begin. There are so many emotions, too many questions, and way too many thoughts that he could write a book about it. But even that wouldn't be enough. He'd run out of pages and ink.

"I can empathize with how you feel. Though I should know these names, it's as if I have never met them. It's a lonely feeling. I fault myself for not being able to understand."

The man tensed his fists until his arms were bulging from emotion. He looked panicked. Silver knew he had to do something before he had a panic attack. That or something worse.

"Hey, no, don't do that," Silver grabbed his hand in his and laid his other hand atop his. "None of this is your fault. You didn't ask to be this way."

The man didn't say anything. Silver could feel his blood warm through the gloves. It was the heat of humiliation.

'Should I ask him? Does he blame himself because he knows, or because he doesn't?'

"You don't happen to remember how you lost them, do you?"

The man looked down in shame. Silver's intuition was correct; he didn't know how he lost his memories.

"My mind is a puzzle I cannot fix. A piece appears every now and again, but I have no idea how to arrange it, or where it should even go, or if it is even real or not," The man scoffed at himself, probably frustrated with his own scattered mind. "I wonder if the memories are worth uncovering. Perhaps it is trying to protect me. But I supposed I'll never know."

'He looks sad...' Silver looked around the room for a bit. He understood the man more than ever. The man longs to remember, while Silver wishes to attain unspoken memories. There is something admirable about that. 'My father knows about him, he must know what happened.'

"If you want to remember," Silver nodded toward the man. "Then I'm going to help you get your memories back. You said you knew my father, right?"

"I believe so."

"If there is anyone who could help you, it's him. He knows... he knows a lot of things. He probably knows what happened to you," The man's mouth pursed. It was difficult to explain what the man may be thinking, but Silver could tell he was in pain. The mention of how he lost his memories makes him tense. His mind doesn't remember, but his body certainly does. "I would take you back to the house, but you don't fit on my bike. Just say here, I'll be back for you."

"He'll be here?"

"Yes, he'll be here. I promise."

"Okay," The man took a breath, almost as if he were worried about something and trying to reassure himself. "Just, come back. Even if it isn't with him."

"Hey," Silver placed an arm on his shoulder, ensuring eye contact. "I promise, I'll come back for you. No matter what."

"Mhm."

Silver nodded at him and let go of his hands. The man clutched his fists and backed away slightly.

"Just hang out here. And hide if you see them pass by,"

Silver could feel the fear in that man's soul. He didn't even have to say their names. He knew who they were. Everyone knew who they were.

'He knows about Ace and Anti. I wonder if that's how he lost his memories. He doesn't remember them, but he has to have fought alongside them if he remembers my father and time device.'

"I'm off. I'll be back as soon as I can."

The man didn't look back at him. He had the same expression as he did when he wanted to remember something but couldn't.

'"Please be careful. I need your help more than you know.'"

"I will, don't worry about me."

The man looked at Silver, confused.

"I-I did not speak?"

Silver simply blinked at him.

"Huh?"

The man looked away and waved him off. Silver blushed as he quickly left the garage with his bike in tow. He could tell the man didn't want him lingering around him anymore, and truthfully, he needed to get back to his father before he worried him more than he already has.

'He spoke to me. I swear I heard him,' Silver fished the keys out of his jacket pocket and hopped on the bike. The road in front of him was vast. Just as he expected it to be. 'I must be hearing things. Maybe I'm stressed, or crazy, or something... Ugh, what's crazy is that I'm hearing voices in my head.'

It wasn't the first time Silver had heard voices. When he was little, he could swear he heard his father talking. But whenever he asked about it, he would deny ever speaking. As he grows older, it is harder to ignore. He hears the voice clearly, like they are within his mind. But he never hears an echo or vibration in the area around him.

'Maybe I am crazy. Psychological stress maybe? I did grow up in a war zone. It wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility.'

Silver began his journey back to his house. He picked up the pace a bit, going fast enough to not draw too much attention to himself. 

'Why would you come by the lab if you don't remember the person who lives there?' He tried to focus on the road, but a thought kept nagging him. 'He remembers my father, that's a given. But why the lab? Unless he was after the device and just hoped my father would be there.'

Silver bit his lip. He wasn't sure what to make of the situation. He sympathized with the man as he knows the struggle of wanting to connect with people he doesn't know. The man could have easily hurt him, or worse. Yet, he didn't. He seemed to have no mal intentions. He could have killed him from the beginning. He could have taken the time device and ran. He could have turned him in and sold him for profit.

'But he didn't. He's looking for my father for a reason, and I'm going to help him figure out why.'

Silver was quick to park the bike in front of his house. Still being careful enough so that it wouldn't fall or tip over. He ran up to the door and opened it, hoping to see his father waiting for him. Luckily, he was. He was resting at the table with his eyes closed, his arms crossed around his chest, and his head tilted backward.

"Father!"

His father jolted up and looked at Silver, who most likely looked like a sweaty maniac by now.

"Son, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"No, I'm okay, I'm fine, but needed to ask you something!"

Silver was so out of breath that he took a pause. He wanted to spill out his sentences as fast as he could, but his body didn't let him say everything he wanted to.

"Calm down, you're worrying me."

"No! I'm honestly okay!" Silver took one more breath before speaking again. "I need your help. I met someone, someone really cool, I think! He knows about Anti, Ace, the time device, EVERYTHING! I have a picture of him, do you think you can identify him?"

"I suppose? What did he look like?" Silver pressed a couple of buttons on his wristband, and an image of a mysterious fuchsia man appeared in a small projection above his wrist. He was glad he snuck in a scan of the man when he did. "Espio,"

'Espio. At least I can give him a name now. What does he have to do with me traveling through time?'

"I haven't seen Espio since I found the stone."

"You do know him! I knew it! You are the only person he seems to remember!" Silver laughed in relief and shut off the projection. "He's looking for you."

"He is?"

"Yes, and I want to know why."

His father looked somber while staring at the projection. The same look of guilt on his face when he talked about his deceased friends.

'Something happened. He knows why Espio can't remember things. Are you going to hide things from me, or are you going to tell me what happened?'

Silver took a seat down in front of his father. He followed suit and sat back down in the chair he was dozing off in minutes before.

"Espio the Chameleon. I've known him long before the war even started. He was an old friend of Sonic. He was truly a good man of his time. He was among the first to help us back when this war began. He was as smart as he was skilled," Shadow paused for a second. Which meant he was measuring the words he wanted to say. Meaning that he was looking to hide more information from Silver. "However, that made him a threat to Ace and Anti. You know what they like to do with people they deem threats."

'A chameleon, huh? That explains the horn.'

"A threat," Silver paused for a second. He's only known Espio for less than an hour, yet, he could tell he had a fighter's spirit in him. Silver couldn't even sense him back in the lab. And when he expressed distress over the Time Device, he gave it back with zero hesitation. He came back for a reason, a noble one, no doubt. But that doesn't explain why they would go after Espio specifically when there were other fighters like Sonic and his father. "What would Ace and Anti want with Espio? Is that why he can't remember anything?"

"You already know about Ace's abilities, and when they figured out how could manipulate hordes of people to fight her battles for her, Espio was her first target," Shadow took another pause. Silver wanted to roll his eyes. Was he trying to hide information again, or was it because it hurt to remember? Silver liked to think I was both, but unfortunately, his father would never tell him. "Extreme intelligence and strength were exactly what she needed to help her manage her army. She got into his mind and searched for his weakness. When it got down between letting the love of his life live or giving himself to Ace, he choose to sacrifice himself."

'Why did I expect anything less from Ace. Espio doesn't seems like the type of person to give himself up. What did she do to him?'

"Did those monsters kill them anyways?"

"No, Mighty is still alive. I lost track of him years ago."

'That's a first. Maybe she needed alive in case Espio got out of line.'

"Wait, so if Espio chose to give into them, how is he still alive? And how does he know about the time device?"

"Espio promised Mighty he would find him again. The one thing you should know about Espio is he puts honor above all else. He told Mighty he would find him again, but he needed to escape Ace and Anti if he wanted to do that."

"Hm," Silver was impressed. Not only did he endure Ace and Anti for years, he escaped, and then went on to keep living. Be it with no memories but alive, no doubt. "He's the luckiest, most unlucky, guy around."

"That poor soul," Shadow uncrossed his arms from his chest and relaxingly crossed them on the tabletop. He leaned his body forward, maintaining his posture as he did so. "Espio fought hard to gain his control back. Fighting against an old friend like him is complex. But even forcing my hand against him, it felt like fighting a cheap imitation."

"Do you think he still remembered you?"

"I would like to believe so. but no one can be sure. What I am certain of is how, through all of the battles and agony, he was determined to gain control over his mind. It could be why he was not fighting to his full potential."

'I knew it. That explains his reactions and how he remembers to fight and remain stealthy. His mind might have forgotten, but his body still remembers.'

"How long did he stay like that?"

"Years, too many years," Shadow sighed, looking down at the table. "It broke his mind. Completely shattered his psyche. When he regained some sense of control, he came looking for me, but by then, it was far too late. Tails was gone. He didn't know who he had lost, but he still grieved upon hearing the news,"

'He didn't remember who he was. If it eats at him now, I can't believe how he must have felt then.'

"Espio, most likely, doesn't remember it, but I certainly do. He knew he had a mission, but he will never know what it was."

'...He knew about the time stone. He only remembers my father. Could it be that it actually... Espio's idea?'

"Father," Silver paused. Did he really want to know the answer? Not that it would change anything; he was worried that his father wouldn't bother to tell him the answer. He never specifically said it was Tails' idea; it was mostly just assumed. But could it be that Espio figured out how to travel back in time, and Ace found out about it? Was that the real reason he was targeted? "Whose idea was it to travel back in time?"

Shadow seemed a bit taken aback by the question. Like physically taken aback. Silver didn't realize it was that serious of a question.

'Is he actually going to tell me something important?'

"Dr. Robotnik would talk about the time stone as many times as he talked about the chaos emeralds. He believed if he got his hand on that stone, he could bring back Maria,"

'It was his idea?! Why would he hide something like this from me?'

"I thought it was nothing but a myth of an insane man gripping at straws to escape his own grief. I called him a loon for searching for a stone that might not even be real," Shadow laughed bitterly at his words. Silver could sense the sadness in his father. He was undoubtedly going to talk about his mother next. "I understand him now more than ever. I too followed him and did whatever possible to bring back someone I loved dearly. The difference is I found the stone. I was prepared to bring back your mother, to fix this war. Even if it killed me,"

'But, what does Espio have to do with this?'

"Eventually, I confided in Tails to set the device up for me. He believed me to be too reckless to send me back. So, I had to make the choice to send someone else."

Then, it hit Silver. Clear as day, he knew why Espio was at the lab. There was no other reason.

"It was supposed to be him, wasn't it?" Silver asked slight annoyance in his voice. "You wanted him to do this, not me."

"I never wanted you to be a part of this, any of this," Shadow shook his head and leaned forward in his chair. "You were still an infant when I mentioned the time stone, and still a toddler when I found it. How was I supposed to send you off to fight for a future when you barely understood the world you were living in?"

"So that's it? I was nothing but a replacement to you?" Shadow looked offended and gave him a look to calm down. But Silver was feeling hurt, and he refused to keep his mouth shut any longer. "I thought YOU choose me. I thought I was special to you. But no, it turns out I was just the second choice. You expect me to risk never seeing you again for a job you NEVER wanted me to do?"

"That is not what I said, you know-"

"No! I don't know, DAD. You never want to tell me anything! It's always something. 'I can't tell you that Silver', 'You'll find out later Silver', 'You understand, right Silver?'. Well, no! I don't understand. Because you never want to explain ANYTHING to me."

"I tell you plenty! I say what I must to maintain order," Shadow sighed, hating the way his voice raised at Silver. But Silver kept staring at him in silence, waiting for him. "I did not want you to fight in this war. I never wanted this life for you. I chose Espio to protect you from all this. But now you are a part of it, I have to hide some things to preserve both the past and future. You need to respect that."

"The more you hide from me, the less I trust you! I would have known this if you had just told me! Now I look like an idiot because we don't communicate!" Silver felt a rush of heat form on his face. He didn't know how to phrase it, his words. They wanted to rush out and get the conversation over with. But he still had so much to say. He needed to preserve his dignity and stand up for his feelings without an apology. "What was the plan for me? To stand around in an empty wasteland forever without knowing about mom? Or what happened to her friends? To wait around and die? No, I'm not doing that! I'm going to help this future, and I don't care that you never wanted me to!"

"You listen to me. All of that is far from the truth and you know it. Tails wanted you to do this job. He designed the watch for you. He wanted to train you. He sacrificed EVERYTHING for you. I never want to hear you say that you were second fiddle. You were never that to him."

"I know what I was to him, I never doubt that Uncle Tails loved me dearly, almost like a son. But not to you. I was second choice to you," Silver eyes filled with hot tears. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. Not in front of his father. And not at a moment like this. "I bet you never even wanted me."

"Silver, do not EVER say that I did not want you. I love you, I loved you even before I saw you. Your mother and you were my world, my pride, my love. That never changed when she passed away. You are my son. Mine alone. You are what I live for; the same goes for your mother."

"Why should I listen to you? I'm starting to think all of this lying is to protect yourself rather than me," Silver squinted his eyes, and he saw Shadow hesitate for a second, and it suddenly clicked for him. "This was to save her, right?"

"Silver, that isn-"

"That's why uncle Tails couldn't trust to send you back. You were too reckless to go back on your own."

"If all you are going to do is assume I will not participate in whatever conversation you think you are having with me."

"This wasn't about stopping them at all. You wanted to save her," Silver felt his eyes water. He looked over at his father. He hadn't noticed he had been crying. "What did Mom die from again?"

"I am done talking about this," Shadow stood up from his chair, making it squeak loudly. "Go to your room Silver. That is an order."

"Well, that's you. I for one am not done talking. I-"

Shadow slammed his hands on the table, demanding Silver's attention. Silver didn't flinch as his father's eyes glowed with anger. Rather, Silver squinted, letting his father know he wasn't scared of him.

"Go. To. Your. Room." Shadow's voice seethed with frustration. Silver didn't care. He wasn't scared of his father. He respected him, but Silver knew he wouldn't lay a hand on him. "Before I make you."

"I was just leaving."

Silver shoved his fists in his pocket, feeling around the empty space for the keys to the bike outside.

'I made a promise to Espio. I will go back to him. Although, my father is choosing not to join us. At least I can tell him what my father knows about him. I hope Espio will understand.'

"Silver, do not go outside this house!"

"Too bad!"

Silver slammed the door behind him. He heard nothing as he rushed to the bike. He quickly turned it on and took off without looking back. He just wanted to forget everything he said to his father. He doubted his father even cared about what he had to say.

'I am not going to let him play me for a fool like this! He wants to do all of this to get her back, not because of me,' Silver blinked away some of his tears. He didn't want to ride the bike with tears in his eyes. He's done that before and it didn't solve his problems. It left his eyes puffy, sore, and dry. He wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. 'What does that do to me? Does he love me for being me? Or because I am the last thing she left behind?'

"WOAH!"

'What the hell was that!' Silver squinted his eyes and focused on the figure in the mirror. His breath hitched. He knew that black and red frame anywhere. 'Is that-?'

"SILVER IF YOU DON'T PULL OVER RIGHT THIS INSTANCE I WILL-"

'He'll what? He wouldn't hurt me... right?'

"NO! I'M GOING TO TALK TO ESPIO!"

Silver yelled at the image of his father from the mirror, which was becoming a bit closer with each word he spoke. Silver could feel the heat of fear grow on his face. He knew what he was doing was wrong.

'I made a promise. I'm not going to hold off on it because of him!'

Silver turned the handle and placed the bike to maximum speed. He didn't have time to conceal the vehicle, not that it would do him any good anyway. His father was already hot on his trail.

"AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME."

Silver did a hard turn. In his mirror, he could still see his father trailing behind him. His eyes squinted from the harsh winds and he began to regret not putting on some glasses before his plan.

'I got to lose him. And fast,'

The longer stared at his father's figure, he almost gasped at what he noticed. His father was sporting his house slippers rather than his rocket shoes.

'Wait,' Silver looked toward the road ahead and rolled his shoulders back to relax. 'Although I'm impressed, I still might be able to lose him.'

"SILVER I-"

What Shadow was about to say was out of earshot. Silver slammed his foot on the gas. The way the tired ripped beneath the dirt road made him cringe. It was too loud for his liking, and a sense of dread warmed his body. He understood the risk he took, but the last he heard of Ace and Anti, they were far away from this part of the city.

'I'll add that to the list of things I'll be getting an earful for tonight.'

Silver slammed on the brakes next. He held onto the handles for dear life as the bike stopped. His bottom lifted off the seat briefly before he regained his balance.

"Eek!"

'I hope no one saw that. That was embarrassing.' Silver felt a sense of relief when he turned around and saw a vast field of nothing and no one. It wasn't to say his father was not on his way to get him, but that he still had a chance to make sure Espio knew he stuck to his promise. 'I'm done hiding how upset this makes me. I know what will happen once I fix everything. Before it ends, I want to know as much as I can.'

"Shadow?"

"No," Silver quickly closed the garage door behind him. Thought the lights didn't work, the afternoon sunlight lit up the room through the slashes in the door. "it's Silver again, remember?"

"Yes," He nodded. Silver noticed he was in sitting right in the same place he had left him, as if he hadn't  moved a muscle in the entire time he was gone. "you were just here, weren't you?"

"Sure was," Silver felt a sense of relief go to his face as he smiled. "So, I told my father about you!"

"Really?" 

"Yes, really!"

Silver nearly took a step back when Espio stood up. The chameleon breathed out an airy chuckle of relief. What surprised him the most was his smile. It was bright and soft as the sun hitting his face. He was so deep in his emotion he his hand to his cheek and clawed at the corner of his mouth. 

'I guess he couldn't believe it either. I don't blame him.' 

Silver's guilt didn't even let him crack a smirk. He was so nervous about his father bursting through the door at any moment he could only stand there in fear. 

'What will I even say to him? It isn't like he isn't coming.'

"What did he say about me?"

"So what I found out wa-"

'BANG! BANG! BANG!'

"I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE SILVER! OPEN THIS DOOR OR SO HELP ME I WILL BUST IT OPEN!"

"Is that Shadow?" Silver quietly nodded. "Is he... okay?"

"Nope," Silver turned around timidly. He could make out his father in between the slashed metal. Luck would have it that his father didn't notice Silver looking right at him. "but I don't want you to know what will happen if I don't open that door myself. You don't mind, do you?"

"I am not equipped for this."

Silver sighed, not knowing why he even asked. Espio hadn't seen Shadow in years. The last thing he would want to see from his long-time friend is his angry face because of a mistake his son did.

"Right," Silver exhaled sharply. He was so nervous he couldn't open the door himself. "I'll just get the door."

He reached out his hand and a blue mist illuminated around the door. He moved his hand up slightly, and the door followed suit, making a loud screech echo through the room. Shadow stood there with his arm crossed watching Silver with an unamused look on his face. Silver let go of the door and stepped aside as his father walked in to stand in front of him. He noticed as his father's chest rose and fell and wondered if it was from how angry he was or from being out of breath getting there. 

'Just say something. He isn't going to hurt you or anything.'

"F-father. Hi."

For how Shadow was yelling at him earlier, Silver expected him to scream at him from the moment he opened the door. Yet, he didn't. In actuality, Silver noticed his father was unusually calm.

'He's... quiet.'

Shadow was standing at the doorway in silence. His arms were crossed, and his eyes were shut forcibly, undoubtedly from all the pent-up emotion within him.

'Too quiet,' Silver started at his father, waiting for him to say something to him, anything at least. 'he's scaring me a bit.'

Silver noticed his father wasn't acting as he usually was when upset. His foot wasn't tapping, nor was he looking at Silver. Silver's shoulders tensed up slightly when he realized the position he had put himself in.

'Oh shit. He's livid.'

"Silver. I am very, very, VERY upset with you. And I will not yell at you in front of company. But I am sure you know what we will discuss later at home."

'There it is,' Silver held in a sigh. One part of him knew it was his own doing that his father was so upset. The other part, however, still blamed his father. 'If he had just talked to me more, none of this would have happened!'

"Yes, father, but before we do," Shadow looked unimpressed as he opened his eyes just to glare at Silver. "I stand by everything I said."

"Not now Silver," Shadow groaned as he turned around toward Espio. For a moment, he forgot the chameleon was witnessing the entire interaction between him and his father. He would have been embarrassed, but he was too busy looking at the reunion between the two. His heart melted at Espio's reaction when Shadow walked toward him. The way his eyes were widened Silver would have thought the other was looking at one of the world's wonders. "Espio. It's been some time."

"Shadow. I-I remember you," Espio looked Shadow in the eye before bowing to him like royalty. His father wasn't bluffing when he said Espio was a man of honor and respect. "I remember what I had to do."

"My old friend, you have nothing left to do," Shadow lifted Espio up and pulled him into a hug. Espio's body tensed up, but he soon sank in. Silver could tell Espio had forgotten what a hug felt like. And his father just reminded him how it felt like to be cared for. "You could rest easy now."

"Wait, that isn't right," Espio released himself from Shadow. "I...I had to complete the mission. It is what... I was meant to do. Was it not?"

"Not anymore," Shadow shook his head. He then looked toward Silver. He sighed. "Whatever mission you were to complete will be fulfilled by my son, Silver."

Espio looked at Silver long and hard. It was clear that he was analyzing the sixteen, almost seventeen-year-old. Silver paid no mind to it; he could always rely on his senses to tell him what Espio was feeling.

'You know, I'd rather not know what he thinks of me right now.'

"Shadow, are you positive? I understand that I know nothing of your son, yet, I wonder if he is capable of completing something like this?"

"Why'd you say it like it's a bad thing?" Silver mumbled, kicking a stray pebble to the other side of the room. 'I am more than capable of defending myself against him. I didn't know I was supposed to fight him with everything I had earlier.'

Shadow sighed and looked toward his son. Silver still refused to make eye contact with either of them. Shadow could tell his son was still fuming from the comments earlier.

"He has his faults and irrationalities, I admit that he had some maturing to do," Shadow tried to reach out for him, but Silver was too distracted to notice and accidentally stepped away. It made Shadow frown slightly, but he hoped everything could be cleared up after dinner. "But Silver is my son. He is capable of doing what he pleases with that mind of his."

"Both literally and figuratively."

Shadow gave Silver the side-eye, which wiped off the little smile on his face. Silver just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, again beginning to mumble angsty jargon under his breath.

"R-right, I believe in your judgment Shadow. I meant no disrespect to your son,"

'Sure,' Silver mocked in his head. 'I hope we get to train together so I can show you how I really fight.'

"I would never disrespect the person who promised me so much."

"Oh," Silver uncrossed his arms, and both men turned to look at him, wondering what else the silver-quilled hedgehog had to say. "Espio...."

"Yes?"

'I think it would be best for everyone, right? Just say it, I should just say it.'

"Come home with us."

Silver looked at his father, surprised at what he had said. It was exactly what he had been thinking and contemplating since he met the chameleon.

'Yes, this way I won't get yelled at by my father!'

"Home? With you?" Espio glanced at Shadow, who nodded at him. "Shadow, am I honored, but I am in no need of your assistance. I still have one mission left to complete before I could think of resting."

'Mission? Is that why he needed the time device?' Silver looked at his father's face. His eyes looked sad. 'No, it's something else. It seems personal. If he really needed the time device for it, he would have taken it and ran.'

"Espio," Shadow shook his head. "I have lost track of Mighty five years ago. If you are so instant on finding him, I will help you," Shadow looked behind him, signaling over to Silver, looking through some files on his wristlet. "Believe me, if you continue searching, you will only lose more of yourself."

Espio's pupils seem to shake at that statement. Silver could sense a deep anguish within him. Within them both.

'They're alike, aren't they? My dad and him. The only difference is...'

"You lost track of him..." Espio chest battered out an empty chuckle. His eyes pooled over with tears. A memory resurfaced. No one could tell what it was, but Silver felt content knowing that Espio had found a piece of himself again. "I-I remember now..."

"You remember?" Shadow visibly restrained himself from jumping on the man. He cleared his throat and mumbled a soft apology. "What is it that you remember?"

"It-It's not important to what we are trying to accomplish. Mighty was one of the most impatient people I knew. I should have known he would not wait around for me forever."

'He was supposed to stay. He said he would wait, that it could have been forever. How long has forever been?'

"Ow." Silver's whisper went unnoticed by Espio and his father. Though he was looking right at Espio, Silver didn't see his lips move at all. Yet, it was his voice clearly playing in his head. "What was that?"

'Mighty,' Silver never heard the name before. He most likely didn't fight in the war. His father would have mentioned him by now if he was. 'Whoever he was, he was important enough to Espio to look for my father. Time device aside. My father knows who he is.'

"He said he would wait for you forever, right?" Espio nodded and mumbled something under his breath. "Someone who loves you would wait forever."

Espio moved his hand toward his heart. Silver's words had greatly touched him, yet, Silver could still see his face scrunched up with hurt.

"I suppose so."

"We should get home," Shadow interrupted. "You must be starving if you came here all the way from the ruins in Mobotroplis."

"I came from the Temple."

The room went silent for a moment. Silver looked over to his father who had a frown on his face.

The Temple was something Silver knew so little about despite it being the reason he could time travel in the first place. His father rarely mentions the place, only bringing it up when talking about acquiring the stone. It wasn't surprising to Silver that he never elaborated on where the Temple was or what else could be inside.

'Whatever it is, that look he's giving Espio means that whatever was near that Temple is bad news.'

"The Temple? As in the one I found the stone from?"

"Is there...another one?"

"No, it's just, that's so far from here. What were you doing all the way out there for?"

"I was retracing my steps, trying to remember why I only remembered you so vividly,"

His father's face strained, and Espio kept his eyes fixed on that look. Silver could not bring himself to say anything. Not the look, not the temples, or how his father keeps his secrets even to his friends.

'It's strange.'

"It's strange."

'That's what I'm saying.'

"We...We'll discuss this later. Son, take him home. I'll meet you there."

"Yes, father."

"And Silver," Silver straightened his posture as his father approached him. Shadow pointed to the bike parked outside the lab. "If you know what's good for you, go straight home. Don't pull something like that with me again."

"Yes, I know."

"I forgot how off putting he makes others feel."

"Yep, that sounds like a memory I would have kept repressed," Silver looked to him to see if he'd even react. But there wasn't even anger in his stone-set face. Silver smiled awkwardly and began walking to his bike. Espio followed suit. "Sorry, bad time to be making jokes," Silver mounted the bike and adjusted the mirrors before turning it on. Silver looked at Espio and patted the back seat. "Just hold on tight. don't need you falling out."

Silver had to stop himself from shivering from how cold Espio was. His hands rested lightly on his shoulders. But before Silver could ask him to tighten his grip, he saw his father approaching them. He didn't even look at Silver; he grabbed Espio by the hands and adjusted his grip on Silver's shoulders.

"You have to grab on the right way, or you'll fall. Now, let's get going."

"Right," Espio answered meekly. Silver kept his gaze on the open road ahead of him, waiting for his father to take the lead before he even thought about moving.

Neither of the three spoke to the other, which was fine with Silver as he was so focused on not going. Silver was careful to try to match his father's speed. He was scared of what he might do to him if he did not follow him to a t.

"We're here," Silver whispered. He hated being the one to always break the silence. He turned around to look at Espio. The chameleon's eyes were doing circles with the way he was taking everything in.

'I wonder what that feeling is like. To take in everything as if you were seeing it for the very first time.'

"Do you remember this place?" Silver said a bit louder than before. Espio vision finally settled on him. He shook his head.

"For me, it is like looking at it for the very first time."

"I don't blame you for not recognizing it," a voice from behind bellowed. Silver sunk into himself a little bit as Shadow approached. He, too, was now standing in front of the house. His eyes made the same circles as Espio's did moments ago. "I don't. Not anymore. This is not the same home I created with her."

"With who?"

"With his mother," His father looked at the house a little longer. "Amy Rose."

Silver nearly gasped when he heard the name from his mouth. Shadow rarely addresses his mother by her full name. Not that he never mentioned her before this. Silver always heard 'your mother,' 'the love of my life,' 'Silver's mother.' She was always intertwined with one of them.

'When was the last time I heard him say her name? Has it really been that long?'

"Amy. Rose?" Espio looked at Silver. He stared at him like he was trying to complete a puzzle on his face, which was visible only to him. "Amy Rose." He repeated. "The pink hedgehog?"

"Yes, her, that name," Shadow tears his eyes away from the house to look at Espio. It was a dead-eyed stare. Silver almost felt a bit scared for Espio. The last time he saw that look on his father's face it didn't end well for the other party.

'It was the first time I saw him fight. That day in the anti-zone.'

"What do you know about that name?"

Espio didn't answer. His head dropped toward the ground and his eyes closed. Shadow kept staring at him with that look, his chest heaving more than before.

'He's trying to remember something. He feels like he should know, but he doesn't. I know what that's like.'

"Nothing," His eyes opened. He looked at Shadow and shook his head. "I don't know her from the past. But he mentioned that name to me. Even showed me a picture."

"I-I never showed him a picture?"

Shadow looked at  Espio, who was still looking confused as he stared between the two of them.

"Y-you didn't?" He whispered. "Did I..."

"Espio, you remembered!" Silver laughed out. "You do know her!"

"You both fought in the last battle in the war for the Quartz Emerald in the Seventh galaxy together. You both have so many memories together. I'm glad that she still lives through your memories," Shadow's voice was so low he almost didn't hear what he said. That was until he turned over to Silver. "What prompt you to ask him about your mother?"

Silver felt his face grow hot the longer his father stared at him. It might have been out of embarrassment. Truthfully, Silver was desperate to know anything he could about her. His aunt and uncles were gone. The only uncle he has around is Sonic. And the last time he mentioned her, he threw a glass of water at his face.

"I-I," Silver stumbled over all the thoughts in his head. They all screamed so loud. All longed to learn about her. "I wanted to see if he remembered her. I don't hear a lot about Mom from you."

"You never ask."

"You never seem in the mood to talk about her!"

"Silver," Shadow sighed out. He didn't sound angry. Not like before. Silver could tell his father was exhausted. A part of him felt guilty. The other part, however, felt like he wanted to push more.

"I'm just saying. You got to know her. We both lost her, but I only know of her through pictures on the wall. How is that fair?"

"Silver," He repeated, almost like a warning.

"What?"

"Get inside now."

Espio remained quiet as he followed Shadow up inside the house. Silver stayed outside, looking up at the house. He tsked, kicking the dirt underneath his foot so forcefully he thought it would get in his eyes.

There were so many emotions brewing up inside of his stomach. It wasn't like any post-mission nausea he had ever felt before.

'What did I even do? Why do I have to sit through another one of his lectures?'

"Silver! Get inside here, now!" Silver tensed up. He sighed, clenching his fists. He stomped up the two steps leading up to the front door. And closed it shut without even touching the knob. Shadow was standing at the kitchen table with his arms crossed and a fire in his eyes. "I'm going to get Espio situated. Do not move from this chair, do you understand me?"

"Yeah, I do," Silver mumbled out.

"I mean it, Silver. Do not get up." 

'Well, this is going to be a long night.'

Silver was so angry he wanted to kick the chair before him to pieces, but he knew that would only worsen his case. The emotions in his stomach kept getting stronger and stronger. He rested his arms over the area. It didn't feel like any stomachache he'd ever had.

'I swear, I'm going crazy,' Silver tapped his foot slowly against the floor, trying his best not to make too much noise or sound too annoyed. The last thing he wanted was to make the whole situation worse for himself. 

"Silver?"

Silver was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't even notice his father walk in.

"Yes?" He responded, trying to bite back his sour attitude as much as he could. Silver could see all over his father's face that he was doing a poor job at it.

"Son," Silver stared at his father as he sat in front of him. "Do you want to know why I am so upset?"

"Because I ran after Espio and parted ways upset with you?"

"That is one of the reasons," Shadow sighed out.

'What else could there be?'

"Moreso, I am upset you do not trust me."

"I do trust you." Silver retorted.

"Silver, I taught you better than to be dishonest with me. You do not trust me. If you trusted me, you would not have kept this from me."

"But-"

Shadow raised up his hand before Silver could give a reply. Silver jaw clenched.

"Truly, did you really think I am such a terrible father that I would risk the life of my only son to fix what happened?"

"I never said-!"

Shadow stood up from with such force the wooden chair he was sitting on flew back. The screeching and tumbling rattled the entire house and made Silver's breath hitch.

"I would do anything to trade places with you! I have risked everything and everyone to keep you safe! Yet still, I see the anger on your face whenever I have to hold my tongue so that the trials run their perfect course and we can give a chance at the future everyone deserves. Why, Silver?! Tell me why you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you, father." That's all Silver could muster to say while his throat grew warm and scratchy. If he said another word, his words would break, and his eyes would pool over with tears. He didn't deserve to cry. Not there in front of his father who was pouring his heart out with dry eyes and his voice stable and clear. He could even muster a couple of words without becoming a pathetic mess.

"Do you think I get gratification from lying to my son? Believe me, I don't! It breaks my heart to have to keep things from you. It tears my soul in two to know that one day, I will stop waking up to your face. But..." Shadow sighed, shaking his head. "What must be done will be done. We'll be happy in our other life. But for now, please, my son. Don't waste these moments we have together being angry at me."

"I'm..." Silver couldn't hold it any longer. A tear strayed down his cheek. "I'm sorry."

Shadow looked behind him and dragged his chair back to be right in front of his son. He wiped the tears off of his son's warm face. Silver's lip quivered as Shadow looked at him with his tired eyes. Those same old, ruby eyes that have been him like this since he was a little boy.

"I accept your apology," Shadow said softly. He caressed Silver's cheek as he continued to wipe the tears from his face just like he used to when he was a boy. "You should have told me, Silver. I assumed my son would trust me enough to tell me his fears."

"I'm starting to realize I should have done a lot of things differently," Silver laughed softly, his face still warm and wet from crying. His father took his hand and instead rested his arm on the table. "I really am sorry, dad."

"Silver," Silver looked towards his father from across the table. "Do you remember what I told you when you were young?"

"I think so?" Silver crossed his arms and began to think. His father had told him a lot of stories, mostly about the past he had before meeting his mother and before the first time he met his uncle Sonic. "Is this about your time with the doctor and his granddaughter?"

"Yes," Shadow's voice grew dark, and his eyes began to glow red. Silver could tell his father was deathly angry. "I detested that man with every fiber of my body. I could never understand how heartache and the fear of losing someone could destroy a person," Shadow shook his head. "Even when I lost Maria, I was able to come back to my senses."

'He never really talks about her. From the databases, she died from a government-initiated raid.'

"That was not the case when I lost your mother,"

'Mom...'

"Only then did I understand the man I hated. I never thought it was possible to lose her. And when I did, I went mad with grief. Sick with rage. The time stone was something Dr. Robotnik would speak of, all to reverse what happened."

"It never was the stop of the war, was it?" Silver began to remember when his father would cry alone in his room. Although he would see his father be strong around him and even stronger on the battlefield, he could not imagine all the pain he was going through because of his mother's death. "It was to get her back."

"I knew it." Silver whispered. His father looked rather ashamed of himself at that moment. Silver held back a gulp, too afraid to make any noise.

"It was selfish, yes, but I could not forgive myself for what happened to her. The simple thought of you growing up without her broke me apart like nothing ever has," Shadow's eyes began to tear up. He clenched his fist, not wanting to cry. Silver stared at his father, riddled with shame. He tried to comfort him, but his guilt prevented him from offering him a comforting touch. "I went mad trying to find the stone. To prevent the death of your mother and those of my dear friends. I proposed the idea to Tails. He was the one who explained to me my plan could not come to fruition."

"Well, yeah. What would be the point of stopping Mom from getting killed if the war is what killed her."

Shadow nodded in agreement.

"As I told you before, we were unprepared. We were at peace. No one had even bothered to pick up a weapon after the first war ended. That was our downfall."

"No one could have known," Silver reassured. "No one could have blamed you guys for wanting to retire after fight 'the war of all wars'."

"What is funny is your mother was the one person who never stopped fighting."

"She didn't?"

"No, not ever. She would say her strength was a gift, and because of that, it was her calling to use that strength to help those who could not help themselves."

Silver adored the way his father talked about his mother. Though melancholy, a light sparked in his eyes and a permanent smile appeared on his face at the mere mention of her. In these moments, Silver can glimpse into the past and see what his father used to be before the scourge.

'She sounds awesome.'

"Your mother could solve anything she puts her mind to. She'll be able to fix this mess we're in. Whatever threat comes, she'll stop it. You have to let her know that."

"I know," Silver muttered. He has heard the same speech hundreds of times. It tears him up inside that he will only see what his mother is capable of in another life that isn't even his.

"Son?" Shadow sighed and placed his hand atop his son's. "I have been too hard on you. For that, I owe you an apology."

"It's okay, dad. You do what you have to do, right?" Silver whispered.

"I am changing your mission."

"Huh? To what?"

"You are to stay in the past and help them win. You can spend time with them, meet them, and get to know all the things words will not be able to justify."

"Wait, really?" Silver stood up in surprise. Shadow nodded as his eyes shut, lost in thought.

"I write a list of everything there is to know about them. I hope that will make you happy."

'Stay with Mom and her friends?'

"Really? You're not joking?"

"You should know that jokes aren't my strong point."

"Thank you!" Silver  grabbed his fathers hand and brough him into a hug. His father's surprise chuckle rang through both of their bodies. "You have no idea how much this means to me, Dad."

"Anything for you, son."

Shadow patted Silver's head before letting him go. Shadow stares into Silver's eyes for a moment.

"You look just like her," Shadow whispered. A small smile on his face. "I can't wait for you to meet her, son. She will love you."

"I hope so."

"She will. I know it." Shadow reaffirmed with confidence.

Silver smiled sheepishly, not knowing what else to say. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. The talk he had wanted with his father had finally been had, and now he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Let's hope we didn't disturb Espio too much. He is still getting used to his room."

"Oh, I almost forgot about him. How is he doing?"

"Adjusting would be the best word," Shadow sighed out. "We should let him rest; he traveled miles to get here."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"His body was dumped out in a landfill about three years ago. It was then I learned that he had lost most of his memories. His mind was gone, but the body doesn't easily forget. He knew how to claw his way out of a dangerous situation."

"But he remembers you now. What happened in between those three years?"

Shadow shook his head. "I wish I could answer that. I don't know why I am the only one he can recall. I wasn't even the one closest to him."

"Hm," Silver hummed. "Memories work in weird ways."

"You both have met before this."

"Huh?" Silver blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You were still small, barely able to make out a babble. He held you in his arms and nearly cried when he saw you open your eyes. He said you reminded him of your mother. Mighty was there two. He made you those wooden toys you loved so much as a child."

"What? He did?!"

"He did," Shadow nodded. "I wish you both could have remembered all that."

"So do I," Silver got up from his chair. His legs were wobbly from all the nerves, so he steadied himself on the top rail of the chair. "Do you know if Uncle Sonic knows about Espio?"

"Of course he does. They were close before the war."

'I wonder what he'll say about him?'

"Before you go on saying anything, I wouldn't bother bringing it up to him. You know how he can be."

'Of course, I know how he is. I have to bring him his food. Not that Dad doesn't talk to him. I can hear them fighting through the walls.'

"But while you're there," Shadow stands up from his place at the table and makes his way to the food safe. It's a basket of assorted foods from the rations station. "Take this to him."

"How did-?"

"You think I wouldn't know my own son?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Silver grabbed the basket, taking in the scent of semi-stale bread and metal cans that stunk of dirty copper. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. Again."

"You're okay, son. Remember how much I love you."

"Me too, Dad." 'I love you too.'

Silver took the basket off the table and walked to the door. He silently creaked it open and walked outside. The sight of a disheveled shed made him sigh.

Silver is usually the one to deliver him his dinner, but whenever he comes back from trial runs, it becomes harder to ignore his Uncle's annoyance with him as it becomes a fight of 'the trials are pointless' or 'how dare you leave your father in charge of my meals.'

'As if I have any control over what he and my father fight about when I'm not here.'

Silver knocked on the door first before pushing the heavy wooden door open. There was an audible groan coming from the shadowy lump curled on the bed. To Silver's surprise, the room smelled as if it had been freshly cleaned.

"You two will never let me starve to death, will you?"

Sonic was turned away from the door. All Silver could make out were faded, blue quills. Silver couldn't remember the last time he saw his uncle's face. It could have been months or even years. From all the years of Sonic yelling at him or giving him silent treatment, he has learned it is best not to visit his room often.

"Hey, Uncle Sonic. I'm sorry I haven't been around too much."

"Yes, I could tell. Look what your father came and did!"

'Cleaned?'

Silver heard him grunt from his bed. His body shook with the vibrations of his voice.

"I came to ask you something."

"Whatever it is, I don't know."

"It's about Espio."

There was a pause. Silver could not even hear his Uncle's breath. It was so deathly quiet.

"Espio?" He finally spoke. "What about Espio?"

"We found him. He's alive and staying with us."

"Oh? What, he wants to see me or something?" Sonic let out a low chuckle. Silver had never heard a laugh so devoid of emotion. "Tell him no thank you."

"No, he came looking for my father?"

"Shadow? Why would he want to look for Shadow? He despised the guy."

'Really? They seemed pretty friendly before. I wonder what changed.'

"He doesn't remember much, but he knows who my father is," "It got me thinking that, if he sees you, it might trigger some memories. It happened when he saw my father; maybe it can happen with you, too?"

"I don't think he'll want to see me like this," Sonic rolled over to look at Silver, who nearly gasped at looking at his face. The former hero's eyes were sunken deep in his skull, far deeper than his father's. He could see the thick outlines of battle scars that had begun to lose their pigment and texture. As Sonic frowned, Silver could see the wrinkles in the corner of his lips. Anyone could see that grief has aged him. "I wouldn't.''

"Please," Silver pleaded. "He needs to remember."

"Don't pull that with me, kid. It won't get you anywhere," His words were laced with a sadness the anger was trying to cover. Silver was sure his uncle had to know that he could look past it. Yet he still tries to keep up the facade. "Espio should be grateful he doesn't have to remember. Leave him like that, you'll do him a big favor."

"That's the thing. He wants his memories back," Sonic raised his brows, seemingly remembering the name. "I can't force you to see him, but at least tell me what you know about someone he's looking for?"

"Let me guess. This is about Mighty, isn't it?"

"How did you-?"

He's been trying to protect that guy for years, Of course he'd be looking for him," "Sonic tsked. "Just leave it be, kid, trust me."

"Please, I need to know everything you know about him."

"Ugh! Fine," Sonic hosted himself up and was now sitting upright. Silver stopped himself from gasping. It's been years since they had a conversation that warranted his Uncle to sit down like that. "but I'll only tell you this once so pay attention!"

'Woah, I didn't think it would be that easy!'

Silver looked to his wristlet and began to type something onto it. He looked up and waited for him to speak. His uncle looked back and rolled his eyes.

"He's an armadillo with black fur, a red shell-hair thing that goes down to his back, and black eyes. I met him way back before the four-year war. He used to be a part of a team with Charmy Bee, Vector the Crocodile, and Espio, which is probably why he's looking for him,"

'That's a bit of an over-explanation, at least I know what he looks like.'

"All I know about him is that he's a bit of a treehugger. He used to live up in the forest before this war, and the last time I knew anything about where he was, he was living up in Emerald Groves. When Espio was captured, he left everyone to look for someone named Ray. Probably a friend that Mighty hoped would help him get Espio back, but that isn't any of my business,"

'Ray? I've never heard of that name, not even from father. So who could that even be?'

"Look at a forest of something. Maybe he'll fall out of a tree."

"Thank you, Uncle Sonic. I'll bring it up with my father later."

"Whatever," Sonic grabbed a piece of bread and shoved it in his mouth while waving Silver to get out of his room. "Thanks for the food, kid."

"Anytime."

Silver rushed out of Sonic's room and made his way back into the house through the back door. His father was still sitting alone in the kitchen. A glass of fig wine sat in front of him. His attention drew towards Silver, who had a wide smile on his face.

"Dad! I know how to find Mighty."

"Shhh!" Shadow nearly lunged at him. "Someone is sleeping in here."

Silver tensed up and tried to keep his footsteps quiet as he approached his father. "Sorry!"

"What do you mean 'you know how to find him'?"

"Uncle Sonic told me."

"What did he tell you?" Shadow asked, confused.

"That he'll fall out of a tree!" The look of confusion only deepened. Silver smiled awkwardly, knowing how weird all of this must sound to him. "I know this all must sound weird, but I'm going to make this right. Dad, I'm going to get Mighty back."

"I lost track of him years back, but I know if anyone can find him, it's you," Silver stifled a chuckle as his father petted his head like he would always do when he was a child."Did you make him a promise or something?"

"No, but how else will I get the person who was able to one-up me so quickly to train me?"

"Always the clever one. You're her boy, alright."

'Mom...I can't wait to see you.'

[starry-eyer]

i am reminded once again that people are so weird about rhaegar.

it’s interesting but nauseating to see the shift about him on the anti-rhaegar side of the fandom as it’s clear that people are still wildly and crazily deep in their fanon versions of him, but have decided he’s somewhat useful to them as the fandom becomes less accepting of the ‘targaryens are bad and all mad’ narrative that was floating around for years, so some of the antis have slightly changed their tunes.

i should clarify that the shift does seem subtle right now, so maybe it’s not going to affect the way the antis discuss rhaegar that much, but i find it interesting and a bit annoying so im gonna discuss it.

the shift is basically starting from ‘rhaegar was a moron and killed his family by fucking his whore so he deserved death’ and seems to be heading to ‘rhaegar was secretly really cunning and cruel and actually loved elia but she was iffy/neutral of him and he only got with lyanna to have a baby and left her to die cause he was always gonna go back to elia.’

both of these are crazy interpretations imo, but the second one is even worse than the first. the first interpretation is at least a tad bit understandable, but the second is completely based on fanon land nonsense.

because… how is rhaegar seen as cunningly cruel when he’s only been paralleled with dany and jon, two incredibly kind characters? one of the first times dany is directly paralleled to rhaegar is when dany was protecting others! while we do learn a lot about rhaegar through these parallels, there’s also an on page interaction that completely contradicts the ‘rhaegar is cruel and callous’ interpretation. it starts when jamie is recalling rhaegar’s departure to the trident, he remembers when jon darry snapped at him, telling him to obey and stay with aerys; then rhaegar takes the time to console a teenage jamie and ease his worries before he leaves. we have all this and yet people interpret this character as cunningly cruel and willing to use others for his own ends?

like bsffr… this is a character who prefers writing songs and singing them instead of violence and the song of swords. that says a lot about rhaegar, and it’s all good things.

speaking of good things said about rhaegar: barristan as whitebeard, when he was still sussing out dany, calls rhaegar able, determined, deliberate, dutiful, and single-minded. these are all positive descriptions. barristan also later says that there’s a lot of good to be said about rhaegar, more than any of dany’s other relatives. this is not the description of someone hiding a nasty personality behind a perfect facade, it’s a deliberate set up preparing us readers for the big rhaelya reveal and to contradict roberts anti rhaegar propaganda.

i also want to mention the other side of rhaegar. he was described as melancholy and was said to have sad eyes, and according to cersei he looked wounded. it seems like he suffered from depression. and based on the parallels between aerys and viserys, i think it’s safe to assume that aerys was likely abusive to rhaegar like viserys was to dany. what’s written in a world of ice and fire supports my case and shows that things were always very very tense between rhaegar and aerys. things were so tense in fact that aerys even brought varys in as spymaster partly because he mistrusted rhaegar. that is a very terrible environment for someone to grow up in, and yet rhaegar still pulled through so much so that characters still sing his praises years after his death. that’s impressive and shows how good of an impression he left on so many characters.

now, i also want to discuss the rhaegar x elia ship as it’s getting more popular as the tides keep shifting. one quote that these shippers use to support their ship is the “rhaegar was fond of elia” remark made by barristan, but the context of that conversation is specifically left out by these shippers. basically the conversation began when dany is telling barristan that she’ll do her duty and marry hizdahr, so she asks barristan if rhaegar wed for duty or love. barristan hesitates and tells her that rhaegar was fond of elia but says nothing about love. context is key here. and while it’s not surprising that these shippers need to strip away the context as they have to go up against rhaelya, which has a lot of textual support, it is deceitful and proves that their case is weak in compassion to the build up of rhaelya.

anyways… yeah… this shifting tide is weird af and seems like a huge backwards dive into fanon land, and while i can’t control anyone i think i’ve done my best to stay true to canon by mentioning what we know about rhaegar and trying to keep my interpretations grounded.

tbh… i don’t even like this character that much, but i think his impact on the fandom is so cool. cause it’s like… here is rhaegar, a sad boy, and yet so many people treat him like he’s satan incarnate responsible for everything bad. it’s like so wild and so far from what little we know of him. so, basically, because of this fandom discourse, i became interested in this character and am now one of his defenders. yeahhhhh….

also, because so many people liked to basically shit on rhaegar for ‘doing nothing’ and ‘just letting war break out’ i found it kinda fun to theorize about what he may have actually been doing at the time of the rebellion. as of now, i’m pretty set in my belief that he specifically went to dorne to conspire with house martell and potential allies in order to overthrow aerys. my theory is based on what we know of his personality, and i think his last words to jamie clearly hint that he had some sort of plan in place; and since he was last in dorne, it’s only logical to conclude that there was something going on.

that’s all