#(although i used they instead of the person's actual pronouns i think it is pretty obvious who im talking about to any of my other friends)

[yanderespamton78]

Time for my favourite game: Do I Have A Crush On This Person Or Have I Just Never Had A Friend This Close And Also Never Had A Crush Therefore I Am Interpretating My Affection For This Person As Romantic Attraction

[gay-impressionist]

Hi! I’m starting to learn French and one thing that’s both cool and weird to me is how everything is gendered in a way (referring to someone/whose saying the statement/etc.) and I was wondering how that relates to people who identity as non-binary or gender fluid in France? Are there equivalents to they/them pronouns or neo pronouns in French?

I do plan on doing my own research about this but I figured since I love your blog and you’re really open about different cultural lgbtq+ communities I’d try here first!

That's an awesome question... with a complicated answer lmao. So buckle up and bear with me !

Basically, you can't be non-binary in French. The community found ways to do it but it's not mainstream. Most of the time, they're going to get misgendered or will have to misgender themselves to get understood.

Some things I'm going to list here are not proper French. Actually, they can even be forbidden in some circumstances, according to the law (the use of inclusive language, and more specifically le point médian, was made illegal in schools in 2021 for ex) or simply because your company etc forbids it. So use this wisely, there is a time and place for inclusive language in France.

That said, things have greatly developed over the last two decades. Which was partly because of the queer community and mainly because of feminists, who are tired of the way French erases women. More and more people are using inclusive language, at least in some circumstances and circles (for ex, i wrote my master's thesis in inclusive language and it was accepted bc i was in a leftist faculty). And inclusive language is debated as a serious issue now, which is saying something.

So, how do you use inclusive language in practice?

There are different ways, as it's informal and mostly new. People are still testing new things and trying out various methods. You can stick to one or alternate or mix them up.

Pronouns

Officially, there isn't a gender neutral pronoun. We don't have an equivalent to they. You're either talking about a man or a woman. If it's both, you use masculine pronouns ("masculine trumps feminine" rule). Same thing if you don't know the gender of the person ("masculin générique").

The most common neopronoun is "iel" (plural : iels), which is obviously a contraction of the masculine pronoun "il" and its feminine equivalent "elle". It works for nb folks or to avoid talking about someone's gender or to refer to a group of men and women. So it's equally used by the queer community and feminists.

I'm pretty sure other neopronouns exist but I can't think of any at the top of my head.

Choosing the right words

Sometimes, inclusive language is just about learning to use alternatives.

Instead of using gendered words, you can choose to use gender-neutral words or words "épicènes", aka words which are identical in their feminine and masculine form. For ex, instead of "homme politique" or "femme politique", you can use "personnalité politique". Personnalité is a feminine word but it's actually gender-neutral as you can use it for women and men alike. "Élève" (student) is épicène, as a female student and a male student are both referred to as "élève". Although épicène words as a gender-neutral option only work in their plural form, as you have to choose either a feminine or masculine article for the singular ("les élèves" is inclusive but it can only be "un" or "une" élève).

As good as this method is, it can be quite limitating. Your vocabulary will be drastically reduced and it can be quite hard to master that kind of speech so you can reach the point where you don't have to think everything over for ages before you open your mouth.

With oral French, you can take it a step further by choosing words that sound the same even if they have a different spelling. Ex, friend is "ami" or "amie" but it's pronounced the same way so if you say it out loud, people can't know how you're gendering it (as long as there isn't a gendered article/word with it ofc).

It avoids misgendering people but the downside is that, as masculine is considered neutral in French, people will often think : no gender specified = masculine. Not even because they're sexist or whatever, it's just so ingrained in our brains that it's a knee-jerk reaction.

That's also why most feminists often prefer to use explicitly feminine words when talking about women. For ex, they prefer the word "autrice" to "auteure" (female writer) because the second one sounds the same as its masculine version "auteur". And as previously mentionned, out loud, people will assume by default you're talking about a man. It's a big debate though, lots of women prefer words that sound masculine - going as far as refusing to use feminine words at all! Which sounds cool and gender-bending as fuck but in reality comes from feminine words traditionally seen as less legitimate and serious. Even today, if you look up the word empress "impératrice" in a French dictionary, the first definition that comes up is "wife of an emperor". "Woman ruling a country" comes second. Using a masculine title to refer to women can also be a way to mock them and show they're not welcome (a french deputy got fined in 2014 because he called the female president of the national assembly "Madame le président" and refused to use the feminine title "Madame la présidente").

Recently the tendency and official guidelines have been to feminize words, so I'd say go with that by default, but respect other people's choice if they specify how they want to be called.

Anyway I'm getting off-track but what I meant was that in French, if you avoid talking about gender, you're automatically erasing women (and nb people). So if you want to include everyone, you need to make it obvious.

Inclusivity as a statement

The most common way to make women and men equally visible is the "point médian" rule, which you can also use to refer to non-binary people as it avoids picking a specific gender.

Basically, it means pasting together the masculine and feminine forms of a word and using dots/middle dots/hyphens/parentheses/capital letters to create an inclusive word. For ex, instead of saying acteur (♂️) or actrice (♀️) for actor, you'll write "acteur.ice". For the plural form, there are two schools of thought : either you separate the feminine and masculine form AND the suffix used to signify the plural, or you don't. Aka, "acteur.ice.s" or "acteur.ices". Personally I prefer the second option because less dots makes it easier to read and faster to write, but it's an individual choice, both work.

There are two major downsides to this method : it only works in writing + it isn't doable for every word, as feminine and masculine words can be quite different and pasting them together that way would be unintelligible. Ex, "copain" and "copine" (friend or boyfriend/girlfriend depending on the context) would give something like "cop.ain.ine"...

You can work around that by choosing alternative words (as previously stated!). And it's still a pretty good method, especially as it works for any type of word (adjectives etc). Some people argue that it's hard to read and ugly but personally I think it's just a matter of habit (although it does pose a problem for people using screen readers). Be aware that it is the most controversial version of inclusive writing, as it's the furthest structure from how languages typically work.

If you don't like dots or want an alternative for oral speech, you can also straight up create new words that sound both feminine and masculine, making them gender-neutral. To use the previous example, "copain" and "copine" become "copaine".

Obviously, this only works if it's obvious which words they're based on. I think it's a great way to make French more inclusive but I'd advise against using it with uninitiated people as it would probably confuse them more than anything. This method is still quite niche.

An inclusive, yet binary language

As you've probably figured out, inclusive language remains quite binary in the way we approach it. It's more about making things both masculine and feminine than transcending gender and creating gender-neutral alternatives. Probably because inclusive language was more often a will to stop women from being erased rather than a non-binary friendly gesture.

Which means, there are also some rules that were created to avoid the "masculine trumps feminine rule" but don't allow room for non-binarity at all. I'll still explain them because they're interesting and you might encounter them at some point.

The proximity rule ("règle de proximité") is one of these. It existed in Ancient Greek and Latin but was dropped in Modern French in favor of the masculine trumps feminine rule. Basically, you gender things according to what's closest in the sentence instead of systematically using masculine words to gender a mixed group. For ex, instead of saying "Les hommes et les femmes sont beaux" you say "Les hommes et les femmes sont belles", as the subject "femmes" is closer to the adjective "beau/belle" than "hommes".

Another method is to systematically use both masculine and feminine words (which I personally find excruciating to write and read). Meaning, instead of writing "Les étudiants mangent à la cantine" (students eat at the cafeteria), you'll write "Les étudiantes et les étudiants mangent à la cantine".

This is mainly for the subject of the sentence : adjectives and such are gendered according to the masculine trumps feminine rule. The point is to explicitly include women, not to make the sentence unintelligible or gender-neutral.

When following this method, you also have to pay attention to whether you put the feminine subject first or the masculine. The rule is to follow alphabetical order. For ex, in "l'égalité entre les femmes et les hommes", "femmes" comes first because F comes before H. But in "Les auteurs et les autrices de roman", "auteurs" comes first because E comes before R. Etc.

This method is common as it's the only inclusive language you can get away with, given that it's a valid way of speaking French. It's even mandatory in some situations now, like in job descriptions for the french administration, in the spirit of gender equality.

So, how do I gender a non-binary person?

In short, you can use the pronoun iel + avoid gendered words and/or use the point médian and/or make up new words.

But keep in mind that if you're not talking to someone familiar with these rules, you'll have some explaining to do. And looots of people are still very anti inclusive language, because they're sexist and/or transphobic, ignorant, language purists, etc. A few years ago it was the thing to be angry about for conservatives and anti-feminists so it's still very controversial. But if you're in a trans inclusive queer space or talking with intersectionnal leftists, go for it !

I hope I covered everything (fellow french, don't hesitate to comment!) and didn't put you to sleep lmao. If you want to see some examples, you can look it up on Wikipedia or check #bagaitte on tumblr (it's the french queer tag) 😉

[toyboxterror]

Natsuki Dating an Assassin Reader Headcanons

Pairing: Natsuki Seba/Reader (Romantic)

Contains: Gender neutral reader, no pronouns used, jealous Natsuki (but not towards the reader).

Author's Note: This is for the requester who asked for a jealous Natsuki with an assassin reader. I wrote it in bullet list form instead because I'm lacking the motivation to write anymore. I'm sorry, I hope I got his character right and you're still able to enjoy it. Thank you @jasminerva for helping me out again, this fic wouldn't be finished without her!

Even before you guys started dating, it's hard for the both of you to meet up and spend time together because you are in a different department.

However, you won't let it stop you. You always look for him whenever you have free time in your hands. Sometimes, you'll even skip your classes just to see the man you adore working on his weapons in his lab.

Natsuki often would tell you to go away, saying that you got your own work to do instead of slacking off in here with him. He did it because he didn't want you to fail your classes and trouble you, but he didn't tell you his reasonings directly. Because you're a stubborn person, you insisted on staying and promised him that you wouldn't get in the way of his work.

Your feelings slowly grew from there on, and so did his. You both started dating at some point. If you confessed first, he wouldn't respond for the first 20 minutes. Not because he didn't like you back, but because he had a hard time believing you.

Although Natsuki's greatest talent is making weapons, he would learn to make and fix non-lethal gadgets and equipment that can help you with your daily tasks. For example, he gifted you a machine that can make and cook your instant noodles in under a minute. Pretty handy when you're working on an essay and want a quick meal in the middle of the night!

He will remember it if you casually mention or rant about something that bothered you. Even if you don't ask him directly, he will work hard on upgrading your weapons or think of new equipment that could solve your problems if he's able to. However, he will act nonchalant, as if he didn't spend all nighter by pretending that the idea just popped into his head randomly when he hands them over to you. (The bags under his eyes clearly says otherwise)

He'll even grab some old weapons that Mafuyu didn't use anymore, adjust them to suit your ability and size before giving them to you.

Despite his laidback attitude, he enjoys teasing you and being playful to see your cute reactions. He loves seeing you riled up because of him.

“And this cloth–” Natsuki started explaining as he pulled out a red fabric with clock patterns on it, because he promised you to give you a tour of his lab. “If it covers something underneath it, it could manipulate its time to backwards.”[1]

“Whoa!” You looked at him in awe and your hand carefully touched the fabric. “Is that really true?”

“No.”

“...”

You stare at him with your brows furrowed, looking unamused at his little joke. Natsuki's lips twitched a little, he's fighting back a playful smirk from forming on his face to kept his stoic expression.

“What? You actually believed something like that exists?”

No one knew that you had a boyfriend, and no one bothered to ask. Natsuki spend most of his time in his little corner in the lab, he even took naps there. People barely see you two together outside of it. But when they do, they assumed you two are just very good friends.

“I got your letter… You said you wanted to meet me on the rooftop. What is it that you wanted to say?” You asked your nervous classmate, ignoring your other classmates who were obviously hiding and eavesdropping to your conversation.

“Yes, I…” Your classmate took a deep breath before they looked at you with more determination. “[y/n], we always talk and help each other whenever we're in the same classes. I always admired you from the moment I laid my eyes on you, and that admiration grew into… Love. I'm in love with you, [y/n]. Will you go out with me?”

You blinked at them, and gave them a smile out of pity. “You have been a wonderful friend to me. But I'm sorry, I can't accept your confession. I… I already have a boyfriend.”

Loud gasps could be heard from behind you, but you still ignored them. Your classmate looked at you with their jaw hung open in disbelief. “W-what? With who? For how long!?”

Your face brightened, as if just thinking about him is enough to make your whole day. “It's Natsuki from the weapon department! I mentioned him to you before. Do you remember him?”

After the scene, the words spread throughout the school quickly. You never told him about the event because you thought he doesn't need to know, but Natsuki eventually found out from catching people talking and whispering about it whenever he walked past them. None of the things he heard were good things about him and his relationship with you.

He tried to not let it get to him and play it off. Why should he care about other people's opinions? It's his relationship. Only yours are important. But his insecurity and fear would caught him in the end. Maybe they're right. The other person could protect you better than him. You better off with someone like them instead of him.

You are the first person he ever dated, so he wouldn't know how to confront these feelings. He thought he would inconvenience you, which means he would try to hide them from you. But his jealousy and insecurity would slowly eat him whole from the inside, begging to be vomited out. However, he would still do his best to swallow them back.

He would be less playful and not tease you as much as before. In fact, it would be rare. He'll be distant from you. Natsuki would work himself harder with his weapons and refuse to give himself a break time so he didn't have to think of you and that person who confessed to you on the other day.

You have to confront him yourself and coax him to open up about what was bothering him. He would feel a little more at ease when you hold his hand and rub your thumb on the back of his palm in reassurance, or hug him from behind when he's working. If you pay attention more closely, you could catch him mumbling about the things that troubled him, as if he really wanted to tell you about it but still doubting if it's the right thing to do.

You have to remind him that you still love him for the way he is and be there for him to cheer him up. He would still dwell on the matters that triggered his jealousy and insecurity for the rest of the day, but he would feel better at handling it this time with your words and company.

“What was that? Did you say something?”

He stopped welding on whatever he's worked on and lifted up his shield mask. “The person that you talked with at the rooftop last week... They're one of the top assassins in your department. No one can compete with them and they won awards three times in a row last year. With your skills, you two can sync up well together,” he grabbed a small towel to wipe the sweat off his face. He didn't look at you as he spoke. Instead, he put all his concentration onto his work in front of him. “I saw how they took out their opponents a couple times before. They were reckless. They're too focused on their targets that they didn't pay enough attention to themself. There were times where they almost didn't notice their opponents creeping up behind them, and they just grabbed whatever they could reach and swung it as their weapon without much thought.”

He placed a small object into your hands. It was one of the weapons that was made for you by him but hadn't been used for months. It was upgraded to be more advanced and fancier. He turned around and moved on to his next project, ignoring the confused look you gave him. “Without a proper weapon, they won't be surviving long anymore, even with a good partner who works beside them. That's why assassins need proper weapon makers who understand what's more suitable for them.”

You finally understood what's going on.

You chewed your inner cheek to hold back from giggling. He's totally jealous. While you felt bad that he was feeling down because of you, you couldn't help but think that this behavior of his is kind of cute.

“Yeah, you're right about that,” you put the weapon on the table beside you to wrap your arms around your boyfriend's torso from behind. You could feel him tensed up slightly from the contact. “I'm super lucky that I'm dating the Ace Weapon Maker of JCC, who also happens to be very caring and attentive to me unlike anyone else I ever met. Otherwise, I would already be dead in the ditch by now with nobody to love me. Thanks for everything, Natsu.”

His hands stopped tinkering with the prototype he was working on. He put down the object and remained unmoving for a while, thinking back of the comforting words you said to him. Then you felt his hand on top of yours and squeezed it gently, making you smile. It was his way of showing his gratitude to you.

He peered over his shoulder to look at you and said, “I'm planning to retire soon and open up a crepe shop. Want to be the first person to taste my crepes?”

“Oh, hell yes.”

[1] It's a reference to one of Doraemon's future gadgets, the Time Cloth.

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic grell hc (Black Butler)

I have no seen/read Black Butler in years, so I apologize if this is short. I will try to write for Grelle the best I can. I will also be trying to refer to Grelle with She/Her pronouns.

I personally see her as a platonic yandere... but I'll see what I can do. I also made Darling a human.

Yandere! Grelle Sutcliff Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Possessive behavior, Violence, Blood, Murder, Delusional behavior, Romanticizing death (On Grelle's part), OOC Grelle (maybe), Forced "relationship".

Upon researching for Grelle, I had not realized how little time we get with her.

From what I've seen, Grelle doesn't get much time to be explored in the arcs she's in.

She's been depicted as flamboyant, impatient, ruthless, and impulsive.

She also appears to fangirl over crushes, her most prominent ones being Sebastian and William.

She's shown to be obsessive and often acts on emotions and desires.

Already unnerving yandere material, honestly.

Even worse is that she's a Grim Reaper, which means if her obsession is human, she can't really interact with them without a reason.

The last time got her in trouble.

In fact, her human obsession would cause so many issues.

Reapers are not allowed to mingle with human affairs and can only interact with humans on their list.

Which means you're untouchable for Grelle, much to her disappointment.

That doesn't stop her from watching, however.

Yes, Grelle has broken the rules before, but she's also aware if she does it again she'll be unable to see you.

So instead, Grelle tries to content herself with watching.

Although, she may sneak interactions with you through a disguise...

Can't get caught unless another reaper sees her, right?

Grelle gets very fixated on her obsessive crushes.

She knows she isn't supposed to kill humans, but she yearns to at times.

After all, she feels her obsession would be so pretty covered in blood...

The crimson would accent your beauty, you'd be such an adorable human.

In a way I feel she'd be dehumanizing to you due to her job.

She coos over you like a pet at times, even when she watches you from afar.

Her only obsessions have been a demon and a fellow reaper...

Her job is to judge humans before they die.

So, in a way I can see her looking down on you a bit.

You may not be on her list... but she wishes you were.

Just imagine how romantic it would be!

It gets her excited to think of being the one to take your soul.

You'll be so beautiful.

Of course, such things can only be fantasy to her.

It makes her quite upset, actually...

She only gets to watch you do mundane tasks.

Her fellow reapers often scold her for watching such a mundane human.

You're simply a new fixation of hers...

She can't be your reaper.

Grelle definitely feels death is... romantic, in an odd way?

She's definitely fantasized about your memories and how it would feel to use her scythe on you.

She's actually quite jealous of whoever your reaper is.

Maybe even possessive of you since she can't show you how much she adores you.

She certainly has odd fantasies about you that you're blissfully unaware of.

Oh, speaking of that, that's the scary part.

You don't know about her.

You're a human, just living their life...

Oblivious to the fact a reaper has fallen for you in their own twisted way.

Grelle knows she's supposed to behave and listen to the rules...

But how long do you think it will be before she acts?

Grelle doesn't bother kidnapping.

She'd be more fixated on being your reaper if you're human.

A reaper and a human... a pair not meant to be.

To Grelle, it's poetic.

To you, you're terrified.

Grelle would take you when it wasn't your time just to keep you to herself.

She knows she'll be suspended, but she needs this.

Your fear is adorable when she finally reveals herself.

She's been waiting a long time for this!

Her obsession is fast acting, probably developing within months.

Poor you only has a few months to live because of a reaper's obsession

Grelle would probably coax you to smile, saying how cute you are and how she's been waiting to properly meet you.

She acts like she's your friend, when her main goal is... well...

For you to die.

She may even succeed in her goal unless another reaper stops her.

Let's be honest... Someone probably will.

Other reapers no doubt have noticed her obsessive behavior towards this one specific human.

Considering her past and fascination with blood...

You may just be saved during your first encounter with Grelle.

Which... makes her throw a fit.

Her obsession over you is unhealthy, of course.

It's detrimental to you mostly as Grelle is obsessed with coating you in a pretty red.

If killing you doesn't work...

She may just kill humans around you.

Either way, Grelle's biggest fantasy and obsession is using the color red to make you pretty.

Traumatic for you, of course.

But Grelle praises you, cooing over how it all looks like a dramatic scene.

Grelle loves drama.

Even if she's stopped once... She'll come back.

Eventually she'll get that perfect crimson scene... with you and her as the centerpiece...

It's safe to say Grelle is delusional.

Her love for you is a twisted desire for something vaguely poetic.

Grelle purrs that she truly adores/adored you once she gets you how she wants you.

You'll be sobbing, covered in blood not your own... not yet.

Then, at the climax of her love for you...

She'll slam her Death Scythe down on you...

To her, this is how she'll keep you as hers.

Will she be punished? Of course...

But now no one else will love you like she loved you.

[theyluvlyss]

𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬

《 ♡ 》 headcannons

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 :

while it's always fun to imagine (haha, get it💀) what it'd be like for him to be your best friend or your boyfriend, there's times when you yearn for that tension. that something in between that's more than a platonic relationship, but just short of being a lover. and I'm here to revive that feeling of what it'd be like for bruce yamada to have a crush on you...

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :

fem!reader x bruce yamada - she/her/her pronouns!

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :

70s-80s - the grabber doesn't exist

𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :

I actually don't think I cussed at all (rare lyss achievement) (unless you count abbreviations💀) - fluff, fluff, fluffff! very cute and sweet - bruce being his golden boy self💛💚

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

Bruce having a crush on someone is so OBVIOUS and pathetic (but like in a cute puppy way lmao🐶😙). Definitely the type that goes out of his way to hide it and whisper and giggle around like it's some huge secret, but mf, you told all of your friends, your baseball coach, half the members on the team, your entire family, your crush’s entire family, the stray dog, and the pizza delivery man😐😭💀.

By the time he's going out of his way to woo his person of interest, they pretty much already know and are either elated to reciprocate his fond acts, or are swift to let him down easy (although the latter is rare, because, well… it's Bruce lol).

But with you, reader… for some reason, I feel like you somehow wouldn't know. Bruce will go through his normal routine - shy smiles, hushed whispers whenever you're near, etc. Best believe your parent(s), his friends, your friends, the wind, the trees, and even the damn walls already know, and if they could talk, they'd tell you, because you somehow have no clue. Brain absolutely empty on the knowledge that Bruce Yamada fancies you and is planning on making moves sometime soon.

And his reasonings, that special little thing that drew him to you, was probably the fact that you had never paid him any mind to begin with. You didn't dislike him, but you had no interest in him, either, like most other girls and guys did.

No strong desire to acknowledge him unless he did so first, no needs to be around or find excuses to hang out with him. Hell, even when you two passed in the hallways, he'd have to wave to you first just to get your attention. Not that he minded, but he just wasn't used to that, so he was intrigued.

Now, I'm not trying to say he has a big head or that he's egotistical or anything. If anything, he really liked that you were not consistently fawning over him and pursuing something fake in order to have his name in your mouth. Not to mention, he did genuinely find you interesting for other reasons.

A reader (clearly💀✋🏽), close-knit to your group of people, observant, and definitely easy on the eyes, all he was ever doing was making sure that his remained on you. Even when you caught him, he wouldn't shy away from smiling even wider, sending you a wave that you'd hesitantly return, just for him to refocus himself back on the lesson or his friend group or whatever else it was that should've been holding his attention instead of you.

This is how it would start. Him making it very obvious he had some sort of interest in you, but not the best at relaying what kind of interest.

To you, it really could've been anything. Was he making fun of you? Did he know something about you that you didn't? Was it your appearance? Something wrong or out of place? The possibilities seemed endless, and they only dwindled when, more and more, Bruce attempted to weasel his way into your life “casually”.

I put “casually” in quotes because it was anything but that💀.

Mans literally walked up and insisted on knowing what it was that you were reading, forcing you to swallow your pride and reveal *insert your answer here lol* which had him then pressing for more information. And while this was rattling at first, he was determined to have you be more and more comfortable around him until the word “friend” left your mouth first.

He'd rather you take control of the labels instead of him placing them upon you two, an indicator that he was doing something right rather than coming off as pushy. And once you had done so - “Bruce, you didn't have to. We're friends, you don't owe me anything :).” - that's when he'd up the antics.

Like I've mentioned before in another post, he is a true giver. A giver of words, gifts, affection, etc. So naturally, he's throwing you compliments left and right, being reassuring and supportive when you need him to be, encouraging you to come to him for help with any and everything, gifting you things ranging from small and meaningful to large and random; you name it, he was doing it.

Call it a courting speed-run. Not in the sense that he's literally taking things too fast or faster than you'd like, but I just mean he's quite the natural charmer and well…

Bitch it's working🤷🏽‍♀️😆.

The only times when things could come to a complete halt is when he's jealous. If he's jealous. I feel as though this would be a rare feat for Bruce. He's always been a very secure and comfortable guy, very easy-going. Like I've mentioned before, he wants you to take the lead when it comes to labels, and he figures that if the label isn't “boyfriend-girlfriend” “dating” “together romantically” “significant other” or anything else of that nature, then what right does he have to be feeling envy towards anything or anyone else you give your attention to?

To put it simply, Bruce and jealousy are not a thing unless and until you two are officially together. And even then, should y'all get together and should he feel there's even an ounce of a threat, his natrual response it to just kill ‘em with kindness.

It's his default setting😭 - no one can be upset or mad at or resentful of him when he's just such a stand-up, charming guy.

Someone's flirting with you right in front of him, you introduce them out of obliviousness to the other guy's antics, and all Bruce does is flash that smile and offer his hand to shake - “Hey, nice to meet you! I'm Bruce Yamada. Cool jacket, by the way. Is that real leather? Those are hard to find!” - the other guy doesn't know whether he wants to continue flirting with you anymore out of respect for Bruce, whom of which they just met and already love lmao, or begin flirting with him instead because, well… they just met and they already love him!

There's hardly any room for jealousy when there's no long-lasting competition. Plus, when it comes to objects/events/close friends and family, he's more often than not encouraging you to indulge further, maybe even finding ways to join. It's what he would want upon telling someone else his interests in baseball, style, music, etc…

He wants that for you as well, and he's more than happy to be the person for that. More than happy to ensure that you're happy above all else because if there's one thing he was absolutely sure he loved about you, it was you being content♡.

Meanwhile… jealousy rising within you is a different story entirely🥴💀.

While you try not to allow instances to be frequent, and you've done your best to accept that, “My crush/best friend is popular. Of course people are going to flirt with him sometimes…” those factors really didn't do much to ease any tension whenever a girl would shove herself between you and Bruce just to make it known she was trying her hand at flirting with him, regardless of if he had previously expressed any infatuation with you or not...

“Brucie, hi…!!”

“Brucie…?” You'd murmur to yourself in disdain, staring with a quizzical expression etched onto your face while he all but smiled and greeted the girl with the same elated tone.

“Oh, hey, what's up?”

“I'm having a party this weekend, ya’ know? My birthday landing on a Saturday and all.”

“Wow, that sounds awesome! Does it have a theme?”

“Oh my god, how'd you guess…?! It's 'Hawaiian Paradise', complete with a beach theme for the pool and everything. Who knows, maybe you'll get to catch me in my new bathing suit if all goes well - if you wanna come, of course.”

At one point, subtle hint drops and sparkly-eyed looks into his own got tiring for you. It was only natural you gave into your spite some of the time…

“Aww, that sounds really fun!" You'd chirp, faking a warm grin before breaking the "bad" news you had just come up with. "Too bad he can't make it. We actually already had something planned that day🤕.”

“We did😃?”

“Yup😬😀.”

“What, like… like a date?” The girl would ask, her hopes dwindling by the second at your sure words.

“...” And with all eyes on you, you decided in the moment that a slight loss of your dignity was worth it to shoo the girl flirting with your crush away from the scene. Away from the two of you and farrrr away from him…

“Yup.”

“Welp, you heard the lady…" Bruce would agree gingerly, shooting off a giddy smile and wrapping and arm around your shoulders. "We gotta date that day, and who am I to skip out on such a pretty face?”

“Oh… Well, okay… See you, then.”

And sure, while Bruce had enough sense to spare you in such a situation, it didn't mean he wouldn't be throwing lighthearted teases your way after the fact…

“If I'd known that me going to another girl's house would finally get you to go out with me, I would've planned this all myself way sooner.”

“Bruce, pleas-”

“-No, no, don't let me steal your thunder. You're a cute actress when you're all robbed of my attention.”

“😐…”

With all of these factors about Bruce combined - his gift giving, complimenting, dotingness, teasing rambles about you liking him, his charming nature, etcetc. - confessing to you actually becomes a lot harder than one thinks. While he's gotten over the nerves and fear of rejection that came with doing so, it was you actually taking him seriously that became his biggest obstacle.

I imagine there having been literally several instances where this man has confessed to you, and you're just so sure it's another one of his little, “I know you love me😙🤭.” smug typa things that you kinda just, “Harhar, you're very sweet, Bruce, now help me carry this in…” y'know, laugh it off.

Meanwhile, in his head, he was being 1000% fr, and lowkey just poured his heart out to you😃🥲…

But, by the time he wants to try again, overthinking prevails, and he's just letting you assume it was all a part of his loveable charisma. By maybe the third-fourth-fifth time of this routine, though, he'd lock in and get serious💀. He'd confess, you'd brush it off, but this time-

“No, (Y/N), I'm being serious. I've liked you a long time now, and I know it might be kind of…sudden for you… but it's not for me.” Etcetc., insert the rest of a love spill here because I'm too lazy to fluff it out myself lol and there you are, standing, wide eyed and heart swelling because he's really liked you this whole time and YOUR DUMBASS HAS BEEN LETTING IT SLIP FROM ONE EAR AND OUT OF THE OTHER, OH GOD, YOU MONSTER-!!!😫💔‼️

Jkjk I'm playin' lol🤭😹.

But, with such tensions, it definitely makes for a sweet moment and results in you two beginning a wonderful relationship. Not to mention, y'all do become an IT couple, like, once again, POWER DUO. So truly, it all works out for the best🤷🏽‍♀️.

𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 !!

...next up is billy✨️.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 :

@in3rci4

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :

1,894 words

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :

none :(

[absolutebl]

thai language question! what do tongthap and atom call each other in MLMU TH? it sounds like ‘nai’ or maybe ‘ngai’? it’s translated to both of their names several times on the YT subs. i���ve tried to look it up but i’m not sure i’m hearing it right 🙈

Thai pronoun: Nai

They are indeed using nai. Hold on I know I posted about that one at some point... AH HA here it is:

you want this section: (but I'll c&p it over here add to it at the bottom)

Nai & the Mafia 

So in 2022 Thai BLs seriously started moving setting outside of the school systems and thus added new pronouns (for us watchers) into the mix. KinnPorsche, Even Sun, and Unforgotten Night all use the pronoun nai (นาย) for you between men. Like many honorifics & pronouns, it’s derived from a minor title of nobility. In the 19th century it was declared the official courtesy title for adult males - regarded as a direct translation of “Mr”. 

It has several different uses today. 

As a title, it only appears before the real given name (not surname), in official/formal contexts, e.g. when writing down one’s name on an exam paper, job application, or government form. If used with a nickname, it implies a bit of irony (like a teacher calling out a misbehaving student). 

As a pronoun, it’s usually an informal second-person pronoun used with males of equal status. It’s a decidedly non-rude word, so it’ll be used among friends/classmates if they don’t feel close enough to use gu/mueng (or if a person just doesn’t use rude pronouns, like swear words there are people who don’t feel comfortable ever saying guu/mueng). 

Rao/nai as pronouns used to be the default mode of address on TV before gu/mueng became acceptable to broadcast in the 2010s. 

When used by females, nai is pretty much equivalent to males using ter with females - so an old fashioned but intimate and sweet, loving. 

On TV, the use of ter/nai is probably most often associated with straight dramas in the acquaintance phase of courting. 

Nai also has the meaning “boss” (similarly to the combined form เจ้านาย (jao nai/chao nai). If it’s being used as a pronoun in a more formal or deferential context (like organized crime), it is used in this sense. 

Usage number 2 & 6 are the ones we see in Thai BL. All that said I understand as a tourist in Thailand, you will hear nai but not all that often. It’s fine to use khun instead/back, but good to know to identify nai. 

Nai & My Love Mix Up

So My Love Mix Up is using #2.

With adult males, nai is actually often paired with chan. (I know, right, but it's what they use. See any of the mafia shows.)

But in this high school setting, Atom & Kongthap seem to be using pom or sometimes even tan. (I haven't touched on tan at all because I find it the most confusing pronoun.)

Atom & Half use guu/mueng. Atom use rao/name with Mudmee, and she does they same with him. Although I think she shifts to chan with Half when they get closer.

Kongthap doesn't seem to ever use informal. Even Half uses nai with him.

So I think the use of polite nai in this relationship is being dictated by Kongthap's character's reserved gentlemanly stiffness (much as in the original show). In other words, were it not for Kongthap's personality, this show in this setting (and with this pair) would be using guu/mueng. But because of the original IP and the extreme reserve of Ida in Kieta Hatsukoi (who also uses quite formal Japanese) we are seeing a linguistic characterization of one half of a couple carry through to the tenor of the whole relationship.

In other words, the use of nai was dictated by Kongthap's personality.

Frankly put, Kongthap would simply not use guu/mueng so they had to find some other way for these two to communicate. Rao/ter is too sweet and cute and old fashioned out the gate (these boys could graduate to it, I suppose, like in college or after).

Now they might have used khun instead of nai. If this were set in uni or the office that would have worked fine. Or even if this were a high school in Bangkok. But I'm not surprised they reached for nai.

In fact, since the announcement of the adaptation I was curious about how they were going to approach Kongthap's pronouns. I thought they might make Kongthap older to solve the issue with phi but they wanted to do the "going away to college together?" part of the plot, so yeah... nai is the solution.

This couple sounds a bit stiff and distanced from each other when speaking together as a result, but I understand why the script chose it.

Hope that explains.

(source)

[pinkeoni]

...but what was Will really saying in the van?

This a post a year after the fact, when post people have already said what needs to be said, but you know what!! This is my blog and I can say whatever I want.

Will talking about himself and using El as a guise is pretty obvious. The handful of people who say that it really was from El are few and far between. El doesn't gaf about DnD, she's not even in the painting, and she even told Mike herself that she didn't know what Will was making.

Whether or not Mike actually believed Will's lie is something that I'm personally on the fence about, but I'm not talking about him today! There are plenty of great Mike posts about this if you want a Mike analysis.

The cinematography supports this as well. At the start of the scene, Will is established on the left side of the frame, and Mike is on the right. When Will tells Mike that El commissioned the painting, we get a shot of the mirror where they swap places.

The switching of frame placement suggests that something is off, and mirrors in film can be used to show deception. The shot supports the idea that Will is not being fully truthful, which is backed up by what we already know. Each mirror shot is also prompted by a shot of Jonathan, suggesting that this is always from his point of view. We also know that he was able to see through Will's lie, so that supports this idea.

But we don't get the entire monologue from this angle, because really Will isn't entirely lying, he's just lying about whose feelings it really is.

It's no secret that the painting is an expression of Will's love for his friends, but also his romantic feelings for Mike. The positioning of the painting itself as a phallus (take a shot every time I've said "phallus" in a recent analysis) displays this in the visual language of the show along with the written one.

I think that gender and the use of pronouns is important here. Will states the entire monologue using "she" and "her" and places El in the place of himself. So what he's essentially saying "My sexuality is a wonderful thing that can bring both of us joy, but only if comes from a girl." In context Mike seems specifically anxious about El so Will is reassuring him from that angle, but it also stands that Will doesn't see his sexuality and feelings as good enough to cure an ailing Mike.

There was scriptgate and the infamous "I hate who I am" line which everyone remembers where they were for, but when the scripts were said to be fake, this line seemed to no longer hold any weight within the fandom and was widely disregarded. He loves himself, actually!

But legitimacy of the script aside, does this line still ring true? Even if it were real, a unspoken internal dialogue in an action line doesn't matter unless the show actually expresses it. So do they?

After all Will said it himself, "you make [me] feel like [I'm] not a mistake at all. Like [I'm] better for being different." So that must be how he feels, right? And yet—

—he doesn't really look like someone proud of his sexuality, does he?

I find the idea that Will doesn't suffer from any internalized homophobia rather absurd. It's definitely informed by external homophobia, but it would be different if Will fought back, but instead we see time and time again Will turning his pain inward. "Zombie Boy" leads to "It just makes me feel like more of a freak." and "It's not my fault you don't like girls" leads to the destruction of Castle Byers. I know that that line is informed by Mike's internal projection and might not be intended to be homophobic, although the statement still is homophobic despite intent. If Will knows he is gay and just heard that from his friend, of course he's going to take it that way. We see a little bit of Will standing up for himself, although this usually results in Will apologizing or not accepting apologies from others even when he deserves it. The bedroom scene in Dear Billy is a big step forward because not only does Mike apologize and assert that Will wasn't in the wrong, but Will actually listens.

It is true that Will accepts that he is gay and doesn't seem to fight it, although as others have pointed out, this doesn't necessarily mean that Will is necessarily proud of who he is. The van scene is just another example of Will taking that external pain and forcing it inward. There is likely to be consequences resulting from his lie that affects all three of them, but Will has decided to go a route that (he believes) will benefit Mike and El and only cause himself pain.

Look at this way. Let's say that Will hadn't lied about the painting being from El, that he was totally honest about the painting coming from him, but Mike didn't understand it as a romantic gesture. Not only would this not really make sense, and require Mike to be a level of oblivious on an absurd level, but it would also communicate something completely different. The new meaning would be this: Will is proud of his sexuality and able to take ownership of it, and the trouble comes from Mike not understanding. The conflict is now completely external.

I've seen debate on whether or not Mike really did understand what Will was saying although I think that's beside the point. If Mike did understand that Will was talking about himself, then this was not communicated to Will. The above scenario leads the conflict to be solely relieved by Mike finally understanding, and while there is surely to still be an external conflict between Will and Mike, Will's conflict of sexuality remains to be internal. Even if Mike did tell Will that he knew it was from him, this wouldn't necessarily solve Will's problem. The remedy to Will's internal conflict can only come from himself, by being able to proudly put his name to his painting.

[olderthannetfic]

Apparently my fanfic helped someone in my readership realize he's agender because reading about a character who has zero attachment to the concept of gender, does not feel like any gender, doesn't care about pronouns being used for them and wants to dress any way they want without anyone gendering it really resonated with him and he did some soul-searching afterwards. And I love that for him, truly, I do. But what surprised me is that he really thought that "everybody but trans people" didn't like being associated with a gender, didn't feel like any gender, didn't care about pronouns and didn't have any attachment to the idea of gender. He thought we were all just going along with it because it's just what you do in society and everyone actually felt roughly the same as he did about it.

I was surprised, because although I'm neurodivergent, I had inferred fairly early on in life that people are pretty attached to these things on a genuine level. So I asked him how he arrived at that conclusion and he said that the way his very conservative, Republican family - which is mostly men, he was raised by his dad and grandfather, alongside his brothers - talked about being a man made it sound like an awful, arduous task that you have shoved onto you and can't escape but being a woman also sucked in similar ways according to them. Thus he arrived at the conclusion that nobody actually likes being a gender, you just have to put up with being one. And the fact that he had to put up with it was immensely depressing to him because he hated both of what he perceived as the available options.

Somehow my dinky little Reader POV fanfic where I made the Reader Character agender because I dislike how many Reader fics portray being an AFAB person who identifies as a woman... that little fanfic, without any ships in it, without any deep lore dives, without the things that this fandom usually likes, managed to plunge this reader into total gender euphoria because it made him pluck up the courage to wear something pink, let him know you don't have to be a man or a woman, and told him you're not a bad NB if you use any pronouns and you're AMAB.

And like... I know fandom is a shitty, hostile place a lot of the time. Especially in my fandom, it's a disaster. But reading the mountain of text he posted about how in the two weeks since he realized he's agender, his depression has lessened so much and he hasn't thought about suicide once... I think I remember why I got into writing in the first place, now. It's not just to tell fun stories. It's to tell fun stories about people that don't conform to the white cishetallo culturally Christian secular middle class able-bodied cookie-cutter bullshit that media is still drowning in. Because sometimes somebody is drowning and they think it's mandatory and fiction can tell them, "It's not, actually."

Nobody I know IRL likes the idea of fanfic because why write if you're not going to make money from it? But honestly I feel like this kind of moment has a value money can't really produce.

Sorry, I know I'm rambling. I just thought I'd briefly provide a small break from the sea of negativity in your inbox to share how fanfic and fandom can be good, instead of always being bad, as is so often the way fandom gets framed these days.

--

[sunny6677]

Alright, sooooo—Makoto Naegi's info in the Danganronpa rewrite I'm doing!!

Full Name: Makoto Naegi.

Age: He thinks he's about 16, though later on, it's revealed he's at least 18-20 physically.

Gender: Cisgender male, but he's comfy with being referred to with they/them if people wanna use those pronouns on him.

Sexuality: Heterosexual ally!! Very supportive of his little sister Komaru, who is canonically a lesbian in this universe.

He's blasian in this universe. I imagine he has a slight dimple on his left shoulder that's usually hidden.

He likes going out for walks, listening to music, and going to see movies. He tends to dislike those who look down upon others for things they can't control, bears (due to an incident from when he was smaller), and homework.

Makoto would generally describe himself as a very boring person, since he doesn't really think of himself as anything great—and he frankly does seem that way on the outside. He likes popular music, popular movies, or tends to be into any kind of trend. But he's very open-minded to certain things, generally quite friendly, although a bit naive at times and a little too eager to help. He's not afraid to stand up for himself though, even if he's not very good at fighting—and while easily scared, he does fight for what he sees as right. He's also unintentionally insensitive at times, and maybe even pushes his urge to help others a bit too far sometimes—like trying to help people even when they clearly don't need help. He can also be kind of sassy when standing up for himself, or standing up for others. And is naturally protective of some people cuz of his older brother instincts.

He bikes, listens to music, and researches stuff online as hobbies sometimes. I imagine he maybe works a small part time job as a grocery store employee at some point, though there are several instances where he almost gets fired or into trouble, before his luck jumps in to save him, and he somehow manages to get out of it. (Looking like he dropped a bunch of boxes on purpose when it was an accident, only for someone else who was actually messing with stuff to walk in at the wrong time and be mistaken for the culprit instead, or some random customer stood up for him and gave him some extra change as an apology once his boss left, etc etc). I can't tell if he'd still be keeping the job by the time he got to Hopes Peak Academy though, or if he'd have already been finally fired by then by his annoying ass manager.

All the survivors and dead students are kept the same, so he still lives here—though he gets very close to dying at times. I imagine he's left handed—and I imagine he's surprisingly more muscular than he looks—the hoodie just covers his build a lot. And he also has a birthmark somewhere on his waste that's just a bunch of smudges, but almost resembles a four leaf clover if you look at it hard enough.

His teeth are perfectly white cuz he has some pretty good hygiene. His voice is about the same here, though slightly lower—and it IS noticeably higher before he passes out and wakes up in the school, though it's passed off as him just being tired. He usually has a very casual, boring type of fashion, but is comfortable wearing whatever unless he finds it super humiliating. He also canonically has autism, and has had the diagnosis since he was younger. And he's allergic to mosquitoes cuz why not.

He speaks Japanese, and barely a bit of English—though he doesn't know much of it (I imagine he improves on it once he gets into the outside world again). As a child, I imagine he lived in a small, average, and slightly poor suburban house in a Japanese neighborhood—where he lived an ordinary childhood. Many of his memories involve biking with his little sister, getting ice-cream with his parents, standing up for his sister against a bully, being made fun of by his peers (a more recent memory, at least recent to him) for a surprisingly low score he got—only for it to turn out the grade was a mistake and he made a very high grade, etc. He usually nervously giggles or apologizes whenever he's speaking a lot. And tends to scratch his head or chin as a nervous habit.

He's scared of more freaky looking bugs, but downright terrified of bears due to an incident where he saw a bear when he was younger while out camping—in fact, he thought it was a black bear. He saw it while walking, and after a nervous stand off and it just ominously standing there, he saw an opportunity to run and did. He barely managed to escape and ran to his dad, crying for help. But when his dad went to look for the bear so he could fend it off or maybe do something, the bear was just suddenly gone as if it hadn't ever been there. To this day, the incident still kind of scares Makoto, since something about the bear just felt 'off', and he always fears dark shapes or shadows since it looks a lot like the bear he saw.

He has a good habit of noticing when people are clearly upset, but a bad habit of pushing people sometimes when he's just trying to help out. He tends to find stand up comedy type humor more funny, or jokes he hears in comedies funny. And he does try to solve problems the best he can, but can't always fix things. And he's also a little emotionally intelligent since he knows when people aren't doing well, but can't tell when they might just wanna be alone. He isn't that creative, but is easily amazed by things, especially things he sees in films. He's a bit ambriverted. His mood can kinda fluctuate depending on the situation, but is usually pretty good. He also has one specific guy friend named Tadashi back at his other high school who used to be the nicest to him in class, and always gave him a fist bump anytime he came into class and saw Makoto.

His most prized possession is a baseball cap his dad gave to him while they were playing baseball in his childhood—it was a cap his dad gave to him right before Makoto managed to make a score, and his parents immediately applauded him afterward (Toddler Komaru was very young at the time, and confused as to why they were cheering, but cheered em on anyway). So it reminds him of good memories.

His favorite food is Ramen, and his favorite drink is green tea since his mom always served him that in the mornings during breakfast. He always faintly smells of fresh laundry, or even grass. He usually makes bucket lists, but forgets to do them. Anytime he wakes in the morning, he does a big stretch, before slipping out of bed and getting ready to change. He's never played any sports in his life. But he is very good at board games for some reason—not to the point of a talent though since it's typically out of luck that he wins. He almost always calls his parents when something goes wrong—or even his sister if it's that bad. And I imagine he snores very loudly when he sleeps, or somehow ends up in the wildest positions, and has sometimes even fallen out of his bed, but never managed to get hurt no matter how hard he fell.

He truly believes that things will always get better, no matter how terrible they seem, and that there are just some things in life you can't let get to you—and he believes strongly in letting others see this when they aren't doing too well. He thinks with enough work, you can achieve your goals or even happiness, and success. Though he's never really tried actively working toward anything himself since he feels comfy with his life.

His usual motivation is to just get through the day, in the hopes that there'll be something good waiting for him at some point during that—since his luck is so heavy that he kinda always experiences at least one good thing in a day. A dark secret he has is a hurtful thing he said to a random girl in his class once, because he was frustrated from being bullied—but he immediately regretted it, and years later when he saw her again, he apologized for it. His biggest dream is to just be able to step one foot into Hopes Peak, which he already accomplishes at the start of the game. And his deepest fear is something happening to those he loves. He deals with the inner conflict of not knowing for certain what's going to happen or how things are going to go while he's trapped within the killing game, and externally, he's forced to deal with the deaths of everyone around him—and possibly even having to deal with the fact that maybe he might die too if he's not careful.

One of his regrets is not going out with his family one night due to something he was dealing with, and even lashing out at them for it—though he apologized, he still feels guilty about it. And he also strongly desires to be seen as 'worth' something, or maybe do something more interesting/important for once. Again, he's never really had any specific thing he's wanted to work toward aside from getting a job, but it changes slowly throughout the game to getting as much people as he can out of the school alive. And the tension increasing between everyone throughout the game doesn't help his stress any bit. He's very insecure about how much of a 'coward' he is for simply not being able to fight back sometimes, blaming his own lack of strength on himself—and he's even very insecure about some of his interests since some people have accused him of being boring for it in the past. His greatest joy is just being able to live life—and his worst nightmare would be everything in his life falling apart.

He ends up going on to eventually escape the killing game with the other remaining survivors—and works with the Future Foundation, but he becomes more serious and traumatized due to everything he's had to deal with. Especially with the next killing game he's put through. And the stress of being forced to watch the simulation with no control in the second game also gets to him a bit. He's very happy to see his little sister during Ultra Despair Girls, and frantically tries protecting her in any way he can now that he knows she's still around—he even comes off as a bit more strict due to it, though he doesn't mean to. He just doesn't want her to die. And the situations she gets into frankly don't help his stress over the direless of everything.

An 'ability' he has is easily being able to persuade others, or help them out. But he also has an incredible amount of luck—bad things happen, only to quickly be turned around by his luck. He isn't stupid, so he has noticed his luck, but has always laughed it off as some weird thing he doesn't know the reason behind, but doesn't think anything of it. And in the later games, he starts to take his luck a little more seriously, and even sometimes hopes it'll happen in situations where terrible shit happens—he doesn't think of it as a controllable thing though, he just knows he has an insane amount of luck and always comes out okay due to it.

This is all of his character info, but I'll get more into his relationships with the other characters once I finish everyone in the cast of this game.

[heartfullofleeches]

Just a random ramble about Cholly. (Also couldn't remember the pronouns so I stuck with He/They since I think I remember those being used but I apologize if it's incorrect!)

My brain is filled with Cholly for some reason and I just imagine them wearing the goofiest halloween costumes. Like the classic ones but having a silly gag. Vampire costume would probably involve them being caught having "blood" on his mouth but he pulls out tomato juice. Frankenstein (I know thats the doctor but for simplicity sake I'm calling the monster that) costume would be normal except he shocks himself with electricity. Unlike Frankenstein however, he shows that skeleton and black border cartoons use as he is zapped. Although his body is a mystery with how they can contort themself so those bones are just for show I'm pretty sure. Ghost costumes would definitely result in him being able to float while wearing it. Like it's just a white sheet over their head but when you pull it off he stays hovering in the air for a second but looks down and falls upon realization he can't fly. I feel like a mummy costume would just be him using toilet paper to wrap up people. He may wear it and then spin it off and wrap another person with it OR instead just pull it out and wrap others. Idk my brain is rotting and I think of the stuff cartoon logic can be applied to and Cholly just fills my brain perfectly.

Sorry if I bothered you with this! Just wanted to ramble a bit about Cholly :D

Never apologize when it comes to rambling about Cholly. I wholeheartedly advocate for more. You don't understand how much I love this goofy toon and would ramble about them daily if I didn't feel I was dumping too much about them at one time. They are so bby girl and such a delight to write for. (For future reference Cholly literally does not care about what pronouns are used for them as they are simply Cholly) For the Ghost costume I could see them doing a gag of drinking "poison" (maybe paint thinner?) and actually "dying" to become a ghost. (They'll be fine so no worries). Still throws on the sheet to spook their darling when the time comes. Probably throws it over their shadow instead and stands behind Reader, transparent and floating a couple inches off the ground. Uses their new abilities to peep on them before missing being able to touch Reader and hoping back in their old skin. - "Whatcha think of my new look?" It's certainly a look. Not the most original, but still quite cute. The trace of the rabbit's pointy ears stick out like a sore thumb from the sheet they wore. You could already imagine their cheeky grin, and the twinkle in their eyes hidden behind those big black circles cut through the blanket. You couldn't wait to see it. "Looking great, Cholly- just one little thing." The Ghost tilts their head, cloth bunching up just enough for you to make a grab at it with zero issue. "What's that?" "I already miss your pretty face." Lunging for the sheet, you yank it off their head in one fell swoop. Your speed surprises even you which boils to confusion as the dust settles. They aren't there. You've seen a number tricks from the colorful character, but there was always some trace of their presence life behind. You look to your right, then your left. "Cholly?" "Still right behind ya, Doll." You spin on your heels. It takes a minute for your eyes to pull away from the blank wall behind you and instead train on the head poking through it. Cholly waves, elbow propped on thin air and hand rested beneath their chin. Watching the quickness of your chest increase, their smile grows. "Hiya, Gorgeous~" You scream. Cholly snickers, eyes shut with the violent bounce of their shoulders. They let a surprise, elated gasp as their eyes widen beneath the see through lense of their kids. "Wow! I can see you even with my eyelids closed! Ghost life just keeps getting better and better." You march over to them, reaching out only to touch solid wall. "Are... are you...?" "Dead?" Cholly scoffs. "Pfft- Course not!.. I mean I am a ghost, but it's a toon thing. I can change back whenever I want to." You let out a sigh of relief. "Good..." "By the way.... If you ever need a hand in the shower, I could lean two. Missed a couple spots while you were in there earlier." "Cholly!" "Think I hear the stove runnin'. Better go catch. Catch ya later, Gorgeous." Bringing their hands up to the sides of your face, you feel the ghostly imprint of their lips upon yours. Only downside to their new form was they couldn't kiss you with the intensity and passion brew inside them whenever in your company. They wink as your brain redirects from the sweet gesture back to the topic of their little peeping session, and fazes out through the wall before you had the chance to chew them out.

[fatuifucker]

third stream: desire for approval

[art cr: kuroume_1024 on twt]

bratty trans! streamer! scaramouche x dom fem-sex reader (they/them pronouns used for reader)

SUMMARY = how far would you go for attention?

WARNINGS = please view the sucker series masterlist for the full warnings! smut, penetration (reader giving), brat taming, asphyxiation, boobplay, use of the word “cunt”, use of pet name "angel" + "cumslut" + similar language, scara has nipple and navel piercings, womb tattoo, lingerie, self-sexualisation, codependence, unhealthy relationship, suicide ideation, self-harm, gender dysphoria, transphobia, attempted self-mutilation, implied domestic abuse

W/C = 2.6k

A/N = my word count is getting higher and higher be proud of me!! i was actually intending on writing a valentine's fic instead but uh ig you can take this as the late valentine's day fic instead lol. this may be my last x reader for a while for i would like to focus on more character x character. there are some zines im interested in participating and i want to have fics that i can use for my portfolio bc i don't think character x readers do good for zines lol oh yeah also little shoutout to the usernames featured in scara's stream!!

TAGS = @midnxght-sweet-time, @barbatosfavouritenun, @edenialucas, @huboi, @nejibot, @yumixxn, @teallapril

P-chan should be cute, pretty, handsome. Appearance-wise, they are perfect. Their gender doesn't matter but I want someone with a body like mine. I don't like nuisances so they have to be calm and collected. They have to be rational so they can comfort me and stop me from making impulsive decisions.

I want them to be independent but not too independent. They'll need me to command them like a pet. Maybe like a bunny? They could be that innocent-looking type but is secretly horny for me hehe. I'll have to work out the details later. But it's fine even if they are unsure about their personality. People like that tend to rely on the self-assured more. Maybe I could even dress up in the clothes I can't wear.

They won't be able to live without me.

—

“Ohh…it’s soh gud,” Scara moans, her tongue trailing up the melting popsicle before sucking on it. “Mmm…I might get addicted...”

The stream chat floods with comments; majority of it being provocative remarks. Just the reaction she intended. Although Scara hates to be sexualised by her fans, she knows that suggestive content rakes up the viewer count the fastest.

Almost halfway to a month, yet she hasn’t even reached half a million yet. She doesn’t have much time so even if that means that she has to whore herself like this…

“Mmm it’s sticking all over my fingers…” Scara licks the vanilla cream off her fingers, exaggerating her noises as she continues sucking on the popsicle. “It’s a good thing I took off my gloves. Or else it would have been allll over me.”

cauldron-of-anon: you know what else is creamy and drips all over

eunchaeluvr: I LOVE ICE CREAM

bubiblossom: god Im so happy I was born

cinshaberu: big…

leefrfr: that looks good

yourmomsucksme: YESYESYESYESYES

vermillionbun: THANK YOU SCARA

Scara giggles as she licks a strip up the popsicle. Hm, but it’s about time she ended the stream. All this sugary sweet stuff is cloying…ugh. She finishes the popsicle sensually and cleans her hands with a wet wipe.

“Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. I have to meet up with a friend so I’ll respond to the superchats another time.” Scara blows a kiss, mouse hovering over the ‘end stream’ button. “So long suckers!”

—

You’ve reached another milestone today. It’s funny how the other day, both you and Kunihiko were worried about his stagnancy. Today, he has surpassed 50k subscribers. Since this genre of streams garners the most viewers, maybe it’s okay to ask him to do more sexy streams. Probably not too much though. You don’t want Scara to come out as just another female streamer selling her body for clout. Conspiracy theories seem to do well…that goes for her ‘Scara Tries Things’ series. You’ll have to make her work harder these upcoming days, especially since she’s been slacking off lately. You’ve been trying not to push Kuni too hard but—

You blink as your phone is snatched away from you. “You’re still doing work?”

“Yes, that’s my job as your producer.” You stare at Kuni.

Your boyfriend scowls, grabbing your forearm. “Right now I need you to do your job as my partner.”

You don’t make any effort to resist as Kuni drags you like a ragdoll, grunting when he tosses you onto the bed. You sit there, waiting for Kuni to finish changing and give you your orders for the night. In the meantime, you occupy yourself by looking around.

Kuni didn’t have any requests for a themed room so you chose a classy one. The room was laden with rich reds and blacks, a jacuzzi and a drawer stocked with condoms, lube, all the essentials. In truth, it looked like any expensive hotel room, except that the fee for this one was much cheaper that any 5 star hotel. The good thing about love hotels is that they are soundproof — meaning Kuni is going to make you fuck him all night so he can savour the experience of moaning as loud as he wants without alerting the neighbours. Speaking of which, he wanted you to wear something, didn’t he? It should be the one on the table…

Unveiling the contents of the paper bag reveals an angel-themed lingerie set. The bodysuit is made out of fine white satin, decorated with ribbons at the shoulder straps, tulle around the hips, and etched with cloud patterns. Matching the set of white ribbon garters are sheer cloud-covered unattached sleeves that look like it extends past your elbows, looping around the middle finger to partially cover the top of your hands and leaving the rest bare. Without batting an eye, you shed your clothes off and dress yourself in the gifted outfit.

“Are you done?” Kuni calls from the bathroom after a few minutes.

“Yes.”

You sit on the bed, watching as your boyfriend exit the bathroom. A devilish grin rests on his carmine-lined lips as he sashays in black stilettos. He’s dressed head to toe in black leather — from the bodysuit, to the arm sleeves and stockings — but the bodysuit specifically emits a sort of polychromatic glow, shifting to a shimmering purple under the fluorescent light. The whole outfit hugs his body tight, squeezing his body in certain areas that pulls attention to the exposed skin spilling out his thighs and his chest… Your gaze darts back to his eyes, heart thumping upon realising that he is right in front of you.

Kuni chuckles. “What? You embarrassed?” He takes your hand, placing it on his chest. “Don’t be. I wore this just for you, you know?” Entranced, your eyes follow the movements of his other hand, watching as he unzips the zip on his waist, pushing down the waistband to display the pink, heart-shaped tattoo on his pelvis; resembling those typical womb tattoos you see in hentai. “You’re my sweet, obedient angel. And you’re going to reward this naughty succubus for working so hard for the both of us.” Kuni shoves you down on the bed, letting you sit in your state of shock as he purrs into your ear. "Get your toys. They are on the bedside table."

Sure enough, there's your bullet vibrator and buttplug; the ones Kuni asked you to bring today. You turn the motor to its maximum speed, goosebumps all over your skin as it makes contact with your sex. Next goes the plug, which you make sure to lubricate before inserting it into your puckered hole. When you lift your head, Kuni’s stinging violet gaze is locked upon you, a smirk on his carmine lips as he plays with his covered clit. You immediately turn your attention down, removing his underwear with hurried fingers and latching onto the swollen bub.

Soft thighs wrap around your head as your tongue switches its focus on his leaky cunt. Juices drip all over your tongue as you dive into him, eating him like a gourmet buffet. The whir of the vibrator reverberates off the insulated walls, rousing the fire in your groin that stupefies you into shaking your ass, savouring the sensation of your hole squeezing around the plug. Your eyes flit back up to your lover, his lust-filled eyes fixed onto you. His cunt oozes with ambrosial nectar, and you lap it up like a starved creature, goaded by his saccharine moans. A squeal reveals the arrival of his high, manicured nails digging into the sheets before vitality deserts him, leaving him laying limp on the bed.

The strained, rapid breaths becomes the only source of sound in the room once the motor is turned off. What fills the space of silence is rustling, followed by a click and then followed by a wet noise of viscous liquid. Kuni spreads his legs as your body hovers over him, a tired look on his face. He senses your hesitation.

“Don’t give that look,” he sneers. “I already gave you permission to ruin me. Unless…” he juts his bottom lip out, eyebrows lowered in a display of mockery. “you’re backing away now because you realised you can’t do it. No matter how cool, calm and controlled you think you are, I’m the one who holds dominion over you. Without my orders, you’re hopeless. You don’t know what to do because I’m the one who holds the power. Without me, you’re— ah!!”

His back arches into a crescent as the strap spears him without warning. Without giving him time to adjust, you’re grinding your hips against his, slamming the cock in and out while he cries in pleasure.

“Yes, yes, yes! Use me! Break me! Fix me! Oh god, please, please, please—!”

The force of your thrusts jostles Kuni against the bed, incandescent light shifting the polychromatic purples of his collar that just beckon you to wrap your hand around the thin neck. The added pressure around his neck makes him mewl in delight, hands guiding your free hand up his hips, past his navel piercing, and landing on his chest.

“Touch my boobs…” he rasps.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to order me around,” you say with a bite in your voice, tugging on one of his nipple piercings to make him squeak. “Do I have to punish you for your insolence?” Nonetheless, you turn your attention to his chest, peppering it with kisses and hickeys, suckling on his nipples, all to make the little brat writhe under you. 

“(Name)...” he whines. “Punish me, ruin me, I don’t care! I don’t care about anything as long as you need me— aah…think of me and no one else! Want only me, love only me, love me, love me, love— haaah~!! I’m cumming, I’m—!”

His orgasm is signified by a shower of translucent strings streaming out of his soaked cunt, essence staining the floor and sheets in splatters. Kuni wheezes for air once you release the hold on his neck, arms wrapping around you as he basks in the momentary peace.

“Are you okay? Was I too rough?”

“I…I can do it again…” he says in between breaths, pushing himself up with his elbows. “Come on, I’m your…I’m your succubus, aren’t I? You…you have to punish me…”

You shrink back. “Kuni, I really think you need a break—”

A sudden weight thrown onto you interrupts your monologue. You blink, seeing your smirking boyfriend has switched positions with you; with you now underneath him while he’s on top of you.

“Oh I’m much stronger than you think. This body is curated for you…for all of your desires and wants. So, do your worse,” He cusps your cheek, lips covering over yours. “and dig in.”

Kuni kisses you with fervour, determined to infect you with his lust. An unwelcome sense of unease churns instead.

—

The sharp pain makes Kuni's body tingle with adrenaline, foggy eyes watching scarlet sanguine spill out the wound. His chest rises and falls as he pants, shaking fingers bringing the bloodied blade to slash an untouched portion on his wrist. He lets the high consume him, a penumbra that suppresses the emotional turmoil threatening to boil over the messed up pot that is him. Yet that high is all-consuming, and it begs for more. Cloudy indigos flit up to the mirror, a blurry figure reflecting back his ugly existence and that ugly chest that proves of his inferiority as a man.

"Cut your hair? But you’re the most beautiful with long hair."

"Where did you get those shorts? A pretty girl like you should wear dresses."

"Why does she dress like that?”

"Huh? But…you’re a girl."

Shut up, shut up.

”Kuniko, do you really think that anyone in this world will accept you as a boy?”

Shut up, shut up, shut up shut up shut up—

"Do you want to bleed out?"

Kuni ignores the way his raised hand trembles, grumbling as he glares at the person standing by the door. "Wasn't intending to. But if I die from blood loss, it wouldn’t be a bad thing either."

"I would be upset." You take a step forward, stopping when he inches the razor closer to his chest. "You know, if you wanted to get rid of them, we could always visit a professional. Surgery would be safer–"

“Do you think I give a shit about my safety?!” Kuni screams, beads of tears pouring like a waterfall. “I want to die! I don’t want to exist anymore, why don’t you get it?!”

“What makes you think that I don’t?”

“You…you…” Kuni swallows, his dry mouth making speech a burden.

“Maybe I don’t want to live either," You say. "but I still want you to survive.”

Kuni laughs dryly. “How selfish of you.”

“How ironic of you of all people to say that."

He doesn’t respond to that.

“I need you just as much as you need me. We can’t survive without each other.”

“I know.”

“I’m here because you want me to stop you. You want me to make you feel better.”

“...Yes.”

“How do you want me to do that?"

“...Hold me."

A trace of warmth swathes him; barely there but still enough. Kuni leans against the cold wall, quiet sobs echoing through the tiny room, caged in this claustrophobic space. The air is cold and suffocating, but he knows it will be okay because you’re here. It will be okay, because (Name) is here. (Name) is always with me. (Name) can never leave me. He closes his eyes, letting your gentle scent waft into his nose. He takes apart the scent: an amalgamation of lavender, sandalwood and sage, like the aromatherapy candles he lights. If he focuses, he can feel your warm, calming breaths brushing against his ear, reminding him that you’re there. You’ll always be there for him, and nothing will change that. It takes a while but slowly, his breaths even out, settling into a steady cadence.

You let go of him. His eyes are fixed on the floor.

“Are you okay?” You ask, caressing his dishevelled locks.

His gaze doesn’t leave the floor. “I can handle more than this.”

The sound of muffled shouting interrupts the quiet conversation. Kuni winces, looking at the direction of the disturbance. He recognises the voices but tunes out the repetitive string of words, palms cupping his ears while his back slides down the wall. The voices get louder and louder, accompanied by clashes of porcelain and the collide of wood against other household objects. He doesn’t register that he’s shaking until the familiar warmth surrounds him again.

“Let’s watch KAngel.”

—

[You received a text from Kuniku<3!]

Kuniku<3: (name)

Kuniku<3: ur asleep right?

Kuniku<3: couldnt sleep so i went out for a walk lol

Kuniku<3: i brought along the switchblade u bought me

Kuniku<3: in case a perv wants to catch a case hehe

[Kuniku<3 is typing…]

Kuniku<3: hey

Kuniku<3: you know i hate being alone right?

Kuniku<3: whenever you leave me for too long

Kuniku<3: im afraid that you realised you dont need me after all

Kuniku<3: i have to rely on you

Kuniku<3: but do you still need me?

Kuniku<3: or do i have to make you depend on me more?

[Kuniku<3 is typing…]

Kuniku<3: i want to disappear

Kuniku<3: i want to die

[Message Deleted]

Kuniku<3: hope my favourite cumslut got a good rest <3

Kuniku<3: i’ve been doing a good job right? sooo u will give me a break right?

Kuniku<3: i took the liberty of picking date ideas so what do u wanna do??

[Your answer]

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (1/6/2025) Episode: Changes and Chances

After dropping a much healthier Meelee back at home Noemi and Skye ended up turning right back around to go visit Skye’s doctor.

As soon as they arrived Skye’s pretty blue soft cast was removed and replaced with a brand-new one in a much less appealing shade of brown. “This can happen sometimes, either due to swelling or if the cast was just a little too snug to begin with” the doctor explained “It’s good you came in when you did. Since your surgery is so soon, you’re unlikely to have any more issues before then, but if you do let us know if you see or feel anything worrying.”

Skye nodded “I will, I promise.”

“I wish they hadn’t had to remove my nail polish.” Skye said to xir mom as they headed out.

“I’m sorry about that.” Noemi replied “but you understand why they did, right? The doctor said that changes to the color of your nailbed are one of the earliest indicators of circulation issues. We’ll buy you some polish, and you can paint them again as soon as they tell us its safe.”

Just then her phone pinged a couple times  with messages from her loving husband, although these were invitations to go shopping, not on a date.

“Hey – that was your dad.” Noemi motioned for Skye to take a seat in the waiting room. “How do you feel about a trip downtown?”

 “Mr. Peppino invited us to the flea market to help him pick out some décor for a new paternity satellite clinic he’s opening in Selvadorada. It could be fun. Get out of the house, try some new food, maybe find something to brighten up your room?” She gave xem an encouraging smile.

“Can I invite Elyse?” Skye asked. Xe enjoyed going on trips with xir folks, but it would be so much better with xir favorite sim there too.

Noemi frowned slightly but nodded “Sure. You know, I’d love to hear more about what happened at the game last night. You two got in so late we didn’t get a chance to chat. Did you have fun?”

Skye found xemself grinning at the memory of the previous evening “It was wonderful mom. Foxbury won the game, I got a great interview with Coach Silva, and… well… Elyse and I kissed.” Xe blushed deeply. “I want to ask her to be my girlfriend, but… do you think she’d actually say yes?”

“I don’t know” Noemi answered “the only person who can answer that is Elyse. Is everything OK with you two, does she truly accept you? I really don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

“Its fine mom, I promise” Skye smiled “she explained that she was just confused and surprised that night, but she said she’ll use my new pronouns, and she said she likes me – do you think she means she like likes me? She seemed happy during our date, and she wanted me to kiss her.”

“Well that all sounds very promising” Noemi forced a smile, still worried but determined to be supportive “why don’t you give her a call, see if she wants to join us, and then play the rest by ear? I think you’ll know when the time is right to take that next step.”

With that Skye pulled out xir phone to text Elyse about their upcoming adventure in the city with xir folks.

Skye’s storyline here was the result of an annoying in-game issue and is based on my own personal experience.

For some reason I could change the color of xir cc cast in CAS but it randomly stopped reflecting the blue color. I didn’t want to wipe the buff, and I didn’t think it made sense for xem to have surgery on the weekend, so I did this instead. I still find that it wants to randomly change colors sometimes so forgive me if its various shades of brown at different times; I decided to just live with that 😣

What I describe happening to Skye actually happened to me when I was wearing a hard cast on my arm (and I verified it can also happen with soft casts). It got uncomfortably tight after about a week and had to be replaced. OF COURSE it happened almost immediately after I’d gotten a bunch of signatures that I was too embarrassed to ask anyone to redo😭 but it had to be done!

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[squeakygeeky]

I Feel You Linger in the Air Novel vs Series

I guess this is a thing I do now. Anyway, I feel like most people who posted about the novel were understandably focused on the ending, but this will be all over the place, full spoilers, this is for if you're interested in how it was adapted but don't actually want to read the novel. I would say I preferred the series since it took full advantage of being a visual medium and also because of the way it expanded on the story.

So the series only covered the first part of the novel, with Jom being transported back to 1928. The novel is first person from Jom's point of view and we really only get Jom adjusting to life in the past and his relationship to Yai.

Jom figures out he's in the past pretty quickly. There's also a mistaken identity thing so he never has to pretend to have amnesia.

Ueangphueng is still his sister's past life, but she's not Yai's sister, just a random neighbor married to Robert and not in a relationship to Mei. Ming is still in love with Mei but she's going to marry someone else, this is just a random thing not important to the plot. Fongkaew's story is kind of similar to the series and so is Khamsaen's, but there's no plot with Robert having done crimes etc. so she and Ueangphueng are just stuck being married to him and having his kids. James is there and flirty with Jom but there's no gay bar. Jom's piglet belongs to Robert and loses the race due to banana shenanigans, I'm sure you were dying to know.

Yai Palathip is 18 and going to be sent off for school and never gets engaged, instead his non-Ueangphueng sister does (happily it seems). No one finds out about Jom and Yai when Jom starts working for him, so there's not really homophobia they deal with, but also no support. They also barely get time together as lovers before Yai gets ripped into the past.

Jom gets transported to the 18th century (I think?) and meets Moustache Commander Yai. I won't go into much of what happens since it's not relevant to the series, but this Yai has no existing connection to Jom, so basically this part is Jom realizing he needs Yai to fall in love with him, which of course is successful because that explains why 1920s Yai was in love with him from the first moment. This is the Yai that gives Jom the tiger ring. Also there is stuff about personal pronouns used in the past: catnip to me.

Jom gets sent back to the present, but weirdly right before the accident. He doesn't check his phone this time but still goes into the River, he just manages to be in slightly better circumstances and gets rescued (by a foreign doctor, my theory is James reincarnated, although there is nothing to support this). He still has the tiger ring on so he knows it wasn't all a dream. When he returns to work on the renovation, he's given a key to a box in the trunk, which has his phone, the letter he wrote (not a letter from Yai), and the theater tickets Jom and Yai never got to use. Then he's told he needs to meet the son of the lady renovating the house, who is Yai Kanthorn of the present day.

1st special is a cute scene of Yai Palathip interacting with his nieces and nephews many years after Jom's disappearance. He became a judge and the family is prosperous because of Jom's advice about the future.

The 2nd special explains that present day Yai is a decendent of Lek, 1920s Yai's brother, so that's how he ended up also being called Yai. His adoptive mom/aunt is Yai's heir, tasked with giving Jom (as far as she knows just a random person of his full name) a key to the box in the chest. She sees his name in an article about a renovation which is why she insisted on hiring him. Yai sees Jom's picture in the article and remembers his past lives, so he goes to Thailand to find Jom.

The 3rd special is Yai and Jom in the present being boyfriends and getting engaged.

There is absolutely no explanation of why Jom time traveled.

[a-taut-thread]

Machines of Wartime AU character study #1: Unparalleled Innocense

Buckle the fuck in folks this is gonna be another long one because I'm passionate about how I characterize them here. Long post again, so more info comes after the cut. Note for reference and clarity that throughout this post UI will be referred to with they/ae pronouns quite interchangeably, so instances of either set are in reference to them.

No real major content warnings here, although I'll give a small warning for self destructive behavior, as well as a more minor precautionary warning for brief mentions of neglect and dehumanization from their admins.

UI is, essentially, a high energy constant stimulation seeker at their core, and a lot of what they do shows it in some way. It's a major reason (along with far less personality shaping going into their generation) behind why they used to be quite mean here before making steps towards improvement. They were never taught a healthy outlet to seek stimulation, so they will try pretty much anything to see what sticks; pretty much anything that gets a form of reaction from others is included in what does stick.

Spreading rumors and other bits of info makes people react, whether good or bad. This means results. People who learn them often further spread them. This means even more results. And when you build a reputation for yourself as "the mean rumor spreader", these results will get back to you all over again. Messages, reactions, more people coming to them to start shit; it's all results and reactions and stimulation. It's an easy way to get what ae want... even if it means people thinking less of aer for it. But hey, can't get lonely if you're constantly too stimulated or too busy seeking more of everything to really think about how nobody quite genuinely likes you! It's easy when you don't let yourself focus on feelings, just shut down any attempts at self awareness!

The reason they're like this, in reality, primarily comes not from being truly mean or spiteful at their core, but just from being built in a way where lack of proper guidance or true care from their creators after creation has left them both feeling a little abandoned ("why bother behaving when nobody cares about me anyway") and physically incapable of tolerating understimulation ("if I'm not doing enough it almost physically hurts"). They have incredibly high processing power; a measurable amount more than even Pebbles, and Pebbles and UI are respectively the first and second iterators of their generation to be created. If they're not using enough of that processing power, it drives them up a wall a little; they genuinely cannot stand being in a state where they're not receiving enough stimulation of some sort. They hate boredom and lack of activity and even just sitting still for too long. Movement, sound, reading messages, running 5 background processes at once, taking on multiple high intensity projects, whatever; it's all the same as long as it gives aer what their systems crave. More stimulation. And saying and doing shit to get reactions is heavily related to that; it's negative stimulation seeking behavior that was never properly taught as "don't do this it's not healthy", because quite frankly aer admins don't care what ae do, as long as ae have a high work output. They're just an iterator after all, right?

And then we come to why they're not really like this anymore, way more toned down in how they act. One big reason is simply time and maturity; they've gained more life experience and kind of just grown away from this sort of behavior in favor of better outlets. They're still young and reckless, but not as overwhelmingly so after a good few decades of time to live and grow. They've seen that it makes people not like them to act like that; even now they still have no real friends due to their reputation. It makes them lonely now that they've calmed down enough to actually think about how others view them instead of living in the moment; they don't want to be lonely. They don't want to be sad. Ae don't want to experience negative emotions, because feelings as a whole tend to be very intense for aer and bad ones really suck to deal with. And they want to get away from these feelings.

Another big reason is because of Pebbles, as was alluded to a little in this post. He's their partner, he cares about them, and they care about him too. For one thing, they don't want their own behaviors to reflect poorly on him by proxy; they're self aware enough now to see that this could happen, and they don't want anyone else to be made to feel like a bad person simply because of being associated with them. They don't want this for someone they love. For another thing, he honestly just makes them feel seen. He can see that they struggle quite badly when understimulated; but unlike aer admins who simply ignore anything that's not work and results and responsibilities, he actually cares enough to help them find a healthy outlet to, well, actually properly stim instead of leaving them to seek unhealthy, and ultimately self destructive since it blows up their ability to maintain friendships, methods. He views them as an entire person deserving of respect, not just a machine with a purpose. That's why they're actually together quite a lot; he's willing to give them what they need to get that stimulation in a more healthy way, whether that be engaging them in direct conversation or letting them constantly fidget with his clothes or just giving them a good squeeze because ae like the feeling. He loves them and cares about them and will go out of his way to keep them happy and engaged and focused on more positive outlets. He involves them in projects a lot because they're actually a very good worker when they care about the task at hand, and they love being delegated tasks to engage with! Giving them more tasks + generally more ideas on how to properly and healthily stim is exactly what they need, and he gives it to aer. It's a big part in why the two of them have a very strong relationship now, the level of genuine care and respect they've cultivated for each other.

They're actually getting a lot better now! They've mostly moved away from the more toxic sorts of behaviors they used to display, since they now have much better outlets. They're not a completely different person personality wise; they're still quite socially driven, and ae do love a good bit of interesting information. They're just mature enough now to not spread things they shouldn't. Ae still don't have true friends really, but they're working towards that and finally starting to gain acquaintances who actually like them and value them for who they are as a person. And they're a lot happier for it; they feel seen and valued and like they have actual reasons to try and be better now. They are loved, they are seen, and they are better off for it.

TL;DR UI is essentially a high powered supercomputer with ADHD that went completely unmanaged for a long time, and as a result they started seeking out negative stimming behaviors. They were never shown anything more healthy as an alternative. They matured over time and were finally shown better stimming methods by someone who cares about them, and it's helped them grow and improve a lot.

[mizuruifan9]

Since you're the only trans person I'm currently friends with, can you give some tips on socially transitioning? I'll break down the questions so make it easier for you.

So, how do I think of a preferred name? Or should I just stay with my birthname? (I think you know my birth name, I'm not sure)

How do I tell teachers about my preferred pronouns and name if I do change it?

How should I handle the restrooms? (Gender-Neutral restrooms aren't currently offered at my possible high school, plus the disabled restrooms, which I am allowed to use, are in the nurse's office, and it wouldn't be optimal for me)

How should I handle P.E. and changing rooms?

How should I handle being outed?

Will I have to worry about the school telling my parents?

Will teachers treat me any significantly different?

Any additional stuff will be helpful for me since I'm still currently living life as a girl and I want to socially transition once I enter high school. I also know things work differently in Texas than California, but I'll take anything you have to give me. (Texas is actually kinda transphobic, but my possible high school had a pride club, so I'm not sure)

I also do pass as male in public pretty well. So I don't really worry about that as much. It's also gonna be a high school outside my district, so not many people will know me, if that changes anything.

Also, I say possible because it's a registration process, so I'll know for sure if I'm going by Monday.

Anyways, thank you for your time. \(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)/

Boo sleepy kitty.

I haven't fully socially transitioned, mainly just with my friends but I can try to help :)) this might be bad advice I'm just speaking from my experience as a fellow trans kid

If you like your birth name, you can stick with it! Although it is a name that's considered more feminine so idk if you're okay with that. You can use the masculine version of your name(for ex. instead of Alexandra, Alex instead!), or ask your parents what they'd name you, or look at names online to see if there's any you like! Personally I named myself Kennith because I like the name and I think it fits me and how I see the name! Also because I'm a kennith simmons kinnie and him irl. I also chose ness earlier but idk if I still like it. I chose that one because it's just a shorter version of my deadname and loch ness monster >:)

Most teachers are pretty chill here I think? You said earlier your school was pretty queer accepting so you should be good just going to your teacher and being like "hey can you call me this?" , although I'd recommend doing that at the start of the year or high school since it's more of a fresh start and less kids will notice it, I think you can also go to the office at your school and speak to the like principal or something and you can change your name in the district so all your school files have that name! Although most schools only allow you to do it once so be careful.

With bathrooms, I usually go to the disabled/gender neutral one, but since that's not optimal I guess you can try to hold it in for the whole day? I assume you wouldn't be comfortable going into the girls one. You pass pretty well so you can go into the boys one, but if you're worried about people clocking you or harassing you then you can either do what I do and sprint really quickly into the stall without looking at anyone just straight ahead, do my business, go straight to the sink and run out or go into the girls one.

Check with your school if there's a gender neutral locker room! Some also allow you to change in the janitors office! I assume you don't want to change in the girls one and Idk if you want to change in the boys locker room since they could see your body but ik some locker rooms have a bathroom so if it does then you can switch to that and just change in there! You can talk to the school about it and they'll probably let you you just need to give them som things and might need to sign something. It was pretty easy for me.

I'm not sure about the outed one because I was outed myself and I still don't know how to handle it. Sorry 😿😿😿

I think the school will use your new name and prns with your parents at conferences but you can ask them not to although they might forget and etc so yeah I'd worry a bit about that. There are some things they're forced by the government to tell I think if your parents ask but most things they didn't tell my parents :D

I don't think you have to worry about teachers treating you differently, id mainly worry about students, I think teachers aren't allowed by the law to discriminate actually, most of mine don't treat me any different, except my science teacher a bit but that might just be for other reasons. They rarely treat you differently in America I think unless you live in a conservative or rural area.

If you have any other questions I can try my best to answer :)

If you're going to a more distant high school that's WAY better!! Less kids know you so they can't tell others that you used to be afab and etc. also fresh start!! Id recommend changing it right at the start of high school!

Good luck (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

First meditation with Khaos, the vast void of space

Quick warnings: this is a pretty long post, but I'm using it as a way to record everything I remember happening during this meditation so it has things other than just what happened with Khaos! This is also actually originally written weeks ago, I just left it in my drafts for ages whoops.

Another note: I won't be using only she/her pronouns for Khaos in the future, although I don't think they give a singular fuck either way, I just am tired today and wanted to get this posted without having to edit it.

UPG disclaimer. Even the title is UPG, my personal associations with Khaos.

So, I had things to do and decided I wanted to have a proper chat with Loki about it. I started up my meditation music, grabbed whatever crystals felt right, and laid down.

One of the first things they did was hug me. I am someone who has issues with receiving love, and this caught me entirely off guard. Of course I go "wtf bitch you can't do that???" And he basically told me something along the lines of "fuck you I do what I want." (Note: Loki is deeply salty that I cannot remember their actual wording, as it did not have the boundary breaking "I hug you if I want no matter your thoughts on it" implications this wording does. Loki is big on boundaries being respected with me. I feel the need to write that down.)

But we chatted about a spell I was planning, and Loki- who promptly draped himself across a couple logs all dramatically- was very enthusiastic about helping. We went back and forth, I also brought up Apollo to say hello, and then I felt... someone on the edge of things. Apollo was pretty abruptly gone, which makes sense for reasons I'll explain in a moment.

Loki stepped beside me, and sort of had their arm over my shoulders in a distinctly protective manner. Thing is, nothing felt malicious, and I asked them why the hell they seemed so protective when I felt perfectly safe. They explained that I was safe, but "she's pretty fucking intimidating so you might need someone to keep you steady."

Enter Khaos. I realized it was her because instead of a humanoid, or even recognizable form, suddenly within the protected astral space I go when I meditate (I'll just call it "homespace" from now on) is this massive fucking orb of void.

Except this is much bigger, and the orb I was met with was only... "half" of one. Like it'd been sliced, a few solid chunks cut out, like when a video game renders wrong and certain chunks won't load. I actively tried to imagine it as whole, to change it- it wouldn't budge. When I took the above screenshot as a reference, seeing how tiny my character was compared to the in-game thing that I compared Khaos to, it brought a whole new meaning to Loki's explanation as to why it was only half of an orb.

"She's trying not to scare you."

Loki assured me that they would be with me the whole time, that we were not leaving homespace and the orb was completely within the protection of homespace, and we walked in. It was pitch black, void all around, and I could see Loki as if he was lit up in the middle of day but that was it. Khaos came out of the void, sort of appearing out of the "wall" of darkness- being formed from it herself as if it were liquid. I asked her what she had to say.

She looked at me, just smiled, and said "good luck."

I admit, I laughed. I pointed out that THAT sounded ominous as hell. I knew what she meant- she was genuinely wishing me luck, since I have a lot of growth ahead of me and working with her is going to be a pretty big deal for me. But at the time, I couldn't help but laugh. Later, when I was recounting this to my mom, I got a very clear image of hands of darkness holding a bright orb of light. Offering it to me. It wasn't just wishing me luck. It was a gift.

Not long after that, I was suddenly made more aware of my physical body in the form of an ant crawling across me. I got the ant off of me, and went back- only to find that I couldn't just go back to the void we were standing in. Loki met me where we originally had started, and confirmed that I wasn't able to go into her space uninvited. I told them I couldn't go through the process of getting further into a meditative state and walking back into the void, and they said it was okay.

And I swear to you, I'm not fucking with you when I say this is exactly what was said next.

Me: "So... It's so interesting- Is the only way to talk to her to go into the void, be consumed by her energy entirely?"

Khaos, suddenly behind me: "Sort of, but not entirely no."

Me, finding out that my startle reflex is just as bad in the astral: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-"

Khaos: "No." (As in no, she's not Jesus. /Lh I just feel like it might not be clear!)

You guys. She wasn't even trying to be funny. I adore Khaos already I'm gonna have a fucking great time.