#(also like i said i am to shy to tag others than those i talk to >.<)< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[beefrobeefcal]

what the hell is wrong with tim feat. Tim Rockford

Summary: Tim is not acting like himself...and there's a coffee shop with only one bathroom.

Tim Rockford x f!cop reader | Rating: 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 3,565

Content Warnings: sex pollen, bathroom privilege abuse, handsy Tim - willing reader, consent is given to the needy man, scared coffee shop worker, talk of crime scene, police, public sexual encounter, high-as-ball oral sex, tim is a cunning linguist, oral (f receiving), eye patch required, gross bathroom floor, forced orgasm, squirting

Author's Notes: This is only a thing bc of the potential badge i could have earned from @pedroscouts... I am not sorry for my vanity. This fic is dedicated to @goodwithcheese - i hope - if nothing else - you enjoy my take on Tim.

Thank you to @strang3lov3, @noxturnalpascal, @bitchesuntitled & @weregirlbyknight for their eyes and love. dividers made by @saradika-graphics

One line is dedicated to @covetyou. I'll let you find it.

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Tim had felt hazy and off since he’d left the warehouse. That was one of the weirdest drug busts he’d participated in, finding the offending parties sucking and jerking each other off and barely noticing that half the city’s police force was watching.

He was a reserved man. Many of his coworkers, past and present, had learned that his rough, quiet exterior was just the outer shell to a pensive, shy, overthinking loner. His routines kept him in line when a case had others wanting to pull their hair out, and his isolation and limited social life had him solving said cases quickly and without distractions.

You weren’t that much different from Tim, but you understood the inherent value of networking and getting to know your fellow officers. You had more of an extroverted nature, and seemed to be one of the few who could hold a conversation with Tim that wasn’t solely about whatever case either of you were working on at that moment – sometimes you discussed past cases and different kinds of coffee. Because of this, he’d developed a slight affinity for you that he kept deeply under wraps. 

He tried to shake off the weird, hot feeling that coursed through his body, as he walked down the hallway to his office at the precinct; his hand rubbed the back of his neck. He’d barely noticed you coming from the copy room, and you in turn had your head down as you reviewed files.

“Whoa, Rockford! Walk much?”, you exclaimed as your shoulder collided with his. He looked up and you could see something was off, placing your hand on his shoulder to steady him. “Hey, are you okay?”

He looked at you, feeling the heat in him crank up to 11, and swallowed like his mouth was dry. He nodded and responded in a hoarse voice, rubbing his eyes. “I’m… yeah, I just… I just need some coffee.”

“Uh-huh.” You didn’t believe him. Tim was a man of few words, but not normally were those few words also stilted. You moved your hand to his chin, forcing him to look at you.  “Are you drunk?”

Tim’s eyes met yours and there was no differentiating his pupils from his irises. Despite this, it still made your body react to his intense eye contact. He smiled although it seemed more loopy and intoxicated than what he normally offered you. “I wish. Might… might feel better than this. I… I jus’need some coffee…”

“Let’s get you some coffee.”, you said with a crooked smile. Your hand, after making direct contact with his skin on his chin, felt a slight tingling sensation. You wiped your hand on your jeans and lead Tim down the hallway. 

You’d ushered Tim out of the precinct and over to a coffee shop located in a hotel lobby nearby. This place had won out over any other coffee shop, given it was the closest, it was usually quiet this time of day, and he looked like he needed to get out of the office entirely.

Tim’s head was swimming, and he was sweating profusely even though your table was directly under the AC vent; your skin was erupting with goosebumps and Tim was practically melting, a flush creeping up his neck and sweat beading on his forehead. You felt for the guy, you really did, but you knew this wasn’t a case of him just needing coffee.

“I’m not trying to be mean or anything but… you look like shit. Are you on something?”

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, groaning. “I’m not on nothin’.”

You nodded, giving a non-committal uh-huh, not believing him, and the two of you continued to sit and sip in silence. The fingers that touched his chin still tingled, and you mindlessly rubbed the pads together, making the tingling extend up into your hand. You didn’t give it another thought; carpal tunnel syndrome was something you knew could come with desk work and it’s what you assumed this was. When you finished your cup and saw his was empty, too, you walked over to the counter to grab a second cup for Tim; even if coffee wasn’t the solution, he looked like he needed it.

Tim’s eyes followed you and as your back was to him, his mind swarmed with dark, delicious, and depraved thoughts as he stared at your backside. His feet were moving towards you before he realized he’d even gotten out of the chair; his hands gripped your waist and pushed you up against the counter, your back flush with his front.

“Tim!”, you yelped, trying to turn around to push him away, but his hold on you was firm.

He buried his nose in your hair and inhaled deeply and breathed out a deep growl, his hot breath cascading over your scalp, neck and shoulders. The woman behind the counter just watched, wide eyed, holding your two to-go cups of coffee. You offered a sheepish and awkward smile, trying to act as casual as you could manage and took the cups from her.

“Thank you!”, you said, cheerily, dragging Tim behind you. You wanted to leave, but with Tim all over you, the few steps back to the table were all you could muster.

You put the cups on a side table and pushed Tim off you. He fell back onto the chair heavily, still looking dazed.

You sat down on the other side of the table and glared at him, then your phone buzzed. You held a finger up to Tim, who was looking like he was starting to move towards you like a drugged bear, and hissed, “Stay put!”

A message from the precinct’s administrator, Sally, read:

You have Rockford with you? Is he acting weird? Daniels saw you leave with him. Other cops at the bust are being treated for non-lethal aphrodisiac intoxication. He should be fine but just watch out 😉

Closing your eyes and groaning, you tried to calm yourself; you couldn’t lose your cool when Tim was clearly so out of it. While you were deep in thought, your eyes still closed, you tapped the rounded corner of your cell phone on your head. And upon opening your eyes, you saw that Tim was gone. You looked around and heard a grunt from under the table.  

You leaned down and got a good look at Tim crawling over around the table’s pedestal. His wild and fried eyes met yours and before you could take control of the situation, Tim grabbed your ankle, his hand moving up under your pant leg.  

The cashier behind the counter cleared her throat and looked at you, silently asking if you were okay. You gave her a forced smile and nodded. “I’m… we’re fine!”

The cashier gave you a slow confused nod. Clearly, she didn’t believe you and was seconds away from probably calling the cops on this deranged man getting too handsy with this poor woman. You couldn’t let Tim be seen like this by your coworkers; the embarrassment would kill him.

“We’re… we’re rehearsing a play… and he’s drunk - he’s supposed to be drunk.”, you quickly spit out, forcing a laugh, as you tried to pull your leg away from his out-of-his-mind determination.

Another buzz! from your phone and the screen lit up with another message from Sally:

 And don’t make direct contact with his skin. 

You paused and stared at the screen, feeling a wave of warmth start from your head and roll down your body. You were brought back to reality for a moment when Tim’s hands tried to take off your shoe. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”, you hissed at him, keeping your voice low as to not draw too much attention. His blown out and dopey eyes looked up at you and you could see a bit of drool in one corner of his stupid grin. “Tim. What. The. Fuck.”

“You just… you smell… you smell so good…”, he groaned, biting and mouthing your knee through your pants.

You froze, your eyes wide. You couldn’t help the fuzzy sensation that was starting to grip your mind, making that heat bloom in your core. His hands were on your bare skin as he soaked your pant leg with his drool. Even though your brain felt like it was beginning to fill with marshmallows, you still had enough senses to realize what was happening and you tried to diffuse the situation. “Tim, did you take or ingest anything…  anything at that drug bust – “

“Need…”, he grunted, interrupting your questioning. His hands slid up your thighs and gripped your hips.

Tim’s head was getting dangerously close to your lap, his loud huffing and inhaling making it apparent where he was headed, his mouth leaving a drool path up your pant legs, and you needed to get control of the situation. You pulled yourself from his grip and stood up, stepping away from the table. You offered another sheepish, fake smile to the cashier, and leaned down to pull Tim up off the floor, eventually dragging him as he held on to your leg to the washroom near the backdoor of the coffee shop.

Getting into the washroom for you was one thing; trying to cajole Tim into standing up so you could get a better look at him under the fluorescent lights while your body was trying to pull you into a frenzied, horny abyss was completely different. 

Similar to a sedated toddler, Tim’s body was like a balloon filled with cooked spaghetti. No matter what hold you had on him, he seemed to be drawn to the floor like a pile of wet laundry, and eventually, he was trying to pull you down with him. 

“Tim, I need you t-”

“I need you, too…” he grunted, pulling himself up onto his knees with his grip on your hips.

His eyes were wild and fully black. You couldn’t help but see a bit of Mr. Burns when he’s drugged up on that episode of the Simpsons with the X-Files tie-in. As you were distracted in thought, he pushed you up against the sink counter and buried his face in your lap, the sound of his inhale obscene.

You squealed out, “TIM!”, and tried to shove him back, making contact with the bare, clammy skin of his neck. Your fingers tingled and your head felt light and fuzzy. Tim’s face contorted to that of a wild dog fighting for the last scrap of meat and he growled. Your body froze but your hazy brain didn’t give you the signal for fear; instead, you felt cautiously optimistic. His huge hands gripped the back of your thighs, pushing his face back into your crotch, and you seriously considered not stopping him this time.

Until your phone dinged repeatedly, bringing you back to reality. You managed to get your foot on Tim’s broad shoulder and kick him back while you fumbled in your pockets to find your phone. Tim landed on his back with a grunt, but, undeterred, he pulled himself up off the floor. You didn’t see it as you scanned the continual messages from Sally, telling you to bring him back to the precinct ASAP -  demanding to know where you were and telling you that this could become a volatile situation. Your brows furrowed, confusion at the messages still coming in, asking for a response…

You need to come in with Rockford NOW. He is not stable.  RESPOND NOW I PROMISE YOU THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE TO BE A HERO ROCKFORD IS COMPLIMENT FJCK FUCK I MEANT COMPROMISED. ROCKFORD IS COMPROMISED. YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE

Reading through the messages left you unprotected from Tim, as he stumbled towards you with a classic Kubrickian stare, grunting and panting and sweating. Before you could look up, he had you pinned up against the counter, his forehead against yours, his breath hotly washing over your mouth, and his hand planted on either side of you on the counter, caging you in. 

You stared at him, your wide eyes so close to his that he looked like a cyclops, your own breathing becoming more of a pant as his sweat dripped down your face. He smelled like he was sweating a high end cologne with a hint of pine needles.

“Is… is it getting ho-hotter in here?”, you croaked out, trying to say something - anything - to diffuse the situation.

Tim only grunted back, one of his large hands moving to your side, clumsily gripping your waist. He dug his fingers in and groaned as if this was the only thing that was going to get him through whatever psychotic episode he was currently in. 

You needed to get control of the situation. You cleared your throat and spoke in the most authoritative voice you could muster. ��Offic-”, you squeaked out before lowering your voice. “Officer Rockford. This is inappropriate on so many levels and I must ask tha-that you k-keep your hands to yours-”

“Wanna eat your fucking pussy.”

Although the words he spoke came out clearly in a grunt, it took you a moment to realize that THAT was what came out of his mouth. You silently mouthed the words back to him with a furrowed brow, trying to relay the message to your brain. Your pussy, despite having no ears, heard the message loud and clear, and chose violence by deciding to clear house and flood the basement.

He closed his eyes and inhaled, his forehead pressing into yours, and let out a deep grumble of a grunt. 

“I can -”, he shuddered out in a growl. “Fuck me gently, Jack - I can smell her…”

You could only let out a whimper and watch helplessly as he grabbed and pulled you to the floor, The slightly off-white tiles with stained grout were of no consequence once he had you down there. He crawled up your body like you imagined a drunk crocodile would lumber across a beach and his feverish body heat radiated off him. You felt like you were under a heating lamp, or under the spotlight during an interrogation, and he was trying to sweat a confession out of you. Your brain swirled with ideas and thoughts - all of them major HR violations - but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Tim sat up on your thighs and hands were sluggishly - yet deliberately - pulling at your belt and your standard issue detective dress pants, trying to get them open. You didn’t stop him, Instead, you gazed up at him; he was a vision. His white dress shirt was translucent with how drenched in sweat he was and the perfectly coiffed curls on his head were limp and dangling, wet and dripping. His face was flushed, and his neck - oh fuck, his neck - it was glistening; you watched one bead of sweat make its journey from his patchy beard all the way to join its brethren in making his shirt wetter. 

Your head felt like it was under water, sounds muffled, but you did hear the sound of fabric ripping, and you watched his hands rip open your pants, no longer able to wait for the slow burn of a zipper being pulled down. 

Everything moved in slow motion for you, like whatever had affected Tim had seeped into your bloodstream and you were both on a magical journey together on a hotel coffee shop’s bathroom floor. In a whirlwind that moved at a snail’s pace, Tim managed to stand up and pull your pants off, but didn’t make it over your shoes. Much like Peter Pan’s shadow, your ripped open pants laid on the floor, inside out, still covering your feet. Your underwear didn’t fare any better as he balled up the front of them in one fist and yanked them off your body, leaving deliciously red welts on your hips. If you cared, you didn’t realize it. 

He snarled and brought the shredded remains of your panties to his face and inhaled. He grunted and mouthed them like he was a man starved, and the sounds he made were euphoric. 

His large palm came down and clumsily stabilized himself next to you as he knelt down between your open thighs, grunting and snorting. Your hands shakily moved to his head and you felt his wet curls pull through your fingers, leaving your hands slick from his sweat and melted hair wax. His head moved down between your thighs as his hands brutishly pushed them up and apart.

The sound of his breaths panting out against the wet crux of your thighs was obscene and loud and so insanely hot, and above his sounds you swore you heard the angels weeping in envy as soon as his nose pushed against you into your folds. He groaned through his open mouth as his wide, flat tongue laved over your fluttering hole; his nose pressed tightly against your twitching nub, and you squeaked out a whine in response. 

“So… fucking… good…”

His timbre and tone was deep enough that the vibrations alone pushed you closer to the edge and you let out a gasping moan. Tim pushed you, gripping the underside of your thighs, up onto your upper back as he got up on his knees, butting them against you. He shoved more of his face than should have been possible between your legs and opened his mouth wide and licked his tongue in your hole, like a teenager French kissing for the first time. If anyone had walked in, you swear they would have assumed that Tim had the most perverse-looking bong and he couldn't stop taking hits off it. The sounds you made were muffled and distorted from the angle he had you at as his nose repeatedly pressed against your clit, bumping and smashing it as he sucked the life out of you through your pussy.

“Tim!”, you panted out. “Oh fuck!”

He groaned a response, unintelligible due to his tongue being out and his face being buried, but you could have sworn he said, “I know, right?”

The white hot coil that had been slowly tightening over the past hour suddenly snapped and you screamed out, involuntarily trying in vain to arch your back. Tim held you firm and kept pressing his fucking nose into your clit and fucking you with his tongue. It was almost too much, and you screeched and writhed as much as you could, your hands gripping his arms and digging your nails in. Your whole body felt like it had been set on fire and it was consuming you. 

But he didn’t let up. There was no respite, no chance for you to take a breath and reset. Another orgasm came crashing through you and then another one right on top of it. Through them all Tim kept going. And going and going, and you didn’t know any longer when one climax started and another began. 

Tim held you firm in his arms, his large hands splayed out on your belly as your legs tensed and flexed over his shoulders. All you could do was hang on and scream while he devoured you over and over and rocked his hips against your back.

You swore you couldn’t handle anymore. Whatever drug or intoxication Tim had gifted to you was wearing off and you didn’t think your body could handle another mind altering orgasm. But he kept going, forcing another one out of you as he grunted and bucked and rutted against you faster and faster. 

He let out an animalistic groaning growl into your pussy

The feeling in your lower belly was different this time. The build up was greater than before as his nose pressed harder and he panted into you while tongue fucking your hole. You felt the urge to let go as that coil released again and Tim simultaneously pressed his crotch to you and wailed out as a warmth bled over your back. He lifted his drenched face from you just enough with a high pitched moan that when you squirted, it got him square in the eye.

You don’t know how long you both laid on that bathroom floor. Your limbs felt heavy, like they were filled with concrete, and Tim didn’t seem to be faring any better. When you were finally able to catch your breath, you groggily sat up and looked at the carnage that was Tim; his whole body was shaking and the front of his navy blue dress pants were wet - not damp, not moist -  and there seemed to be liquid pulsing still from his crotch.

“Tim - .”, you called out, but your voice was hoarse. 

His head rose and he looked at you, dazed. 

“What in the heck - “, he groaned as he sat up, rubbing his eye. When he brought his hand down to wipe his face, his eye looked red and irritated. 

You both looked each other over and no further words were said as you pulled yourselves together. You left the coffee shop still straightening your clothes, not making eye-contact with any of the employees.

After taking a desperately needed long weekend, you returned to work. Walking in, you saw your coworkers and everyone behaved as if nothing had happened. Until Tim came into the morning meeting with an eyepatch on.

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[sunny-ssunset]

Honest south park dating headcanons🔥💯

dividers by pinterest

Masterlist!

♡Im writing so much bc i literally have nothing else to do so enjoy 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯

♡Anyways honest headcanons about how i think the main 4 would act in a relationship with you (all aged up) mostly gender neutral but there is like mentions of boobies :)

TW Mentions of s*x, dr*gs and v*mit

Stan

•Honestly you wouldnt have to put much effort in to get with him

•Mother fuckers desprate for love

•Hes actually a bit of a wreck once you date him

•Crying because he is scared you'll leave him

•You are defo a rebound

•To be fair he'd start to fall for you though

•And because of that he'd throw up all over you

•He'd break up with you if wendy said she missed him

•In his eyes theres always someone better

•And im sorry but he moves on fast

•If wendy breaks up with him again though

•Expect a drunk call at 3 am saying how much he misses you and how he fucked up and if you can get back together

•Its your choice if you get back with him though lmao

Kyle

•He is extremely awkward

•Kyle has high ass standards so when he sees someone that meets those standards he'll fall hard

•This man cannot talk to people he likes

•If he doesnt like you he is the rizziest rizzler ever

•And 0 rizz if he does lmao

•He'd start SWEATING

•He would be stumpted for words

•Then when you leave he'd blame someone else for 'fucking up his chance'

•If however you did start dating him (god knows how)

•He'll probably dump you over the smallest thing

•If you vape or smoke though its a big no no

•And like you would argue over the smallest thing

•He'd rant and rant and rant and rant about something cartman did that day

•Probably would put work or school before you

•He forgets your his s/o sometimes

•He'll treat you like a therapist

•However he is really fucking good in bed 😩😏

Cartman

•This man would always be looking out for no. 1

•Genuinely would not give a fuck about you until you show any value to him

•Kyle has a s/o? DAMN GUESS WHO ALSO HAS ONE NOW

•Always trying to prove he is better than everyone else (especially kyle)

•He listens to alpha male podcasts

•Andrew tate supporter

•To be honest despite him also being plus sized

•He wont date someone who is also plus sized

•Its because andrew tate said he can do better

•He is delusional and doesnt believe you when you say he is fat

•Its apparently just baby fat

•He would let you in on his schemes and let you tag along but would also throw you under the bus and say it was all your idea if he gets caught

•Manipulative as fuck

•Would get pissy if you said no to anything he asks you

•He'd leave you because "He can do better"

Kenny

•He fucking stinks

•Its either he'll stink of zaza or just plain stinkyness

•He like never showers even when he had the opportunity to

•He'll have a huge crush on you and you'll find out through other kids

•Cartman probably spread it around

•He'll always be staring at your boobs or ass

•Says word like "GYATT DAMN" "WHAT THE SIGMA"

•He doesnt have tiktok only youtube shorts

•Has a shitty cracked iphone 6 in rose gold with no case

•He'll be very loyal like he would never get with someone else

•However always staring at someone elses boobs or ass if not yours

•Will compare you to 'attractive celebrities'

•Hes done many many dr*gs

•Him and his mates probably made a list of all the hottest people in the school (god knows where you are on it)

•He has no rizz at all because hes extremely shy

•Probably only got with you bc of how big your gyatt was

•Hes always really h*rny

dividers by @k1ssyoursister

[yuwuta]

Nsfw // Remember the itfs talk?? Cause I was thinking, I was thinking so hard about what to answer cause like yesss!!!

I want to focus on the latter tags cause.... Wow thats what I'm talking about!! Whenever I read itafushi I like top yuuji and bottom (and more often than not sub) megumi. So it makes so much sense that you'd want to take revenge for that cause he liked you but chose to ask yuuji out before asking you?? Or, yuuji knew megs liked you and still choose to ask him out?? So, in the first scenario it would be more than fair to dom him! Maybe you were all just talking about how you all ended up together and yuuji just lets that slip. maybe you're feeling like being a bit (or maybe a lot) mean to megumi, get him on his knees, sucking, deepthroating really, yuuji with you controlling his movements absolutely forcing him to take all of yuus length down his throat and gag like crazy with an obscene amount of spit oozing out of the corner of his lips. It was definitely personal too, they way you were treating megumi. Yuuji is not innocent in all of this ofc, but I'll let that slide for the sake of the moment. To continue punishing megs you would have your way with yuuji while he just sits there and... watch. It would end with yuuji giving you a huge creampie, it was such a lewd sight too, his dick was already shining cause of megumis spit, and even more after he entered you cause you were soaked. So there you are, full of your bfs cum seeping out and you ask megumi to clean you, cause that wouldn't be the first nor last time that he'd taste yuuji. Your revenge on yuuji is definitely happening another day too

gnaws on a steel plate… godddddddd okokokok yuuji has such an effortless dominate aura about him that’s a little scary once he hones in on it. most of the time, it’s purely his outgoing, charming nature and physical strength that lures other people into submission by will or force, whichever comes first, and he’s sort of naive to it. but when he chooses to exercise that strength, when he chooses to be stronger than you, than megumi, when he chooses to seduce, it’s mind-numbing, it’s boyish, but there’s still a distinct power struggle that it’s dizzying… insane… 

anyway… you said two very important things in here and i only have the space (brainpower) to bring attention to one right now, and i will below, but just know we need to come back to the point about letting yuuji creampie you while megumi’s there bc i am firm believer that that’s actually one of megumi’s biggest fantasies. in general, seeing you and yuuji together does very bad things for his brain but not bad enough for him to deny that… also megumi king of safe sex until it comes to watching yuuji cum inside of you goddddd

yuuji is the one who instigates your revenge in the first place (and he will also do the opposite, will convince megumi that he deserves to take some frustration out on you, that you were sooo oblivious while he pined for you for all those years, how you weren’t very observant as his best friend and now he’s got the chance to show you exactly how badly he’s wanted you… but that’s for another time…)—but right now, yuuji’s getting into your head, he’s deceptively charming, not at all innocent, and far too calculated when he stops making out with megumi and turns to you, not too far away, sitting up against the headboard with wide eyes. yuuji thinks you look awfully cute—you always do when you three are together, you have this wide-eyed awe about you; not shy, but definitely still timid about the fact that you’re now dating your childhood best friend and his boyfriend. yuuji loves that look, but he thinks he’d like to ruin it more. 

and he takes the opportunity to do so, much to megumi’s surprised and distaste—ignoring megumi’s pawing at the hem of his shirt, impatient, yuuji looks over his shoulder to you and poses, “can i ask you something?” 

your eyebrows raise in surprise. megumi’s raise in suspicion, petulantly coming down from the high of making out with yuuji, and craning his head back to look at you. your eyes shift to his briefly, and then back to yuuji’s, almost embarrassed, and when he looks at megumi, there’s a slight blush at the tips of his ears. cute. you two are very cute, and yuuji likes it a lot. it confirms to him exactly what he wants to happen tonight. 

“you remember how i told you about yuuta-senpai? and how he’s my best friend, but when he started dating inumaki-senpai, i kinda hated him because they spent so much time together?” yuuji recounts casually, biting back a grin when megumi huffs. you nod, evidently confused, but yuuji continues, slowly reaching a hand up megumi’s arm, over his shoulder, up his jaw, until he reaches the shell of his ear, then asks, “did you ever feel that way about me?”

he can see the shock on your face, hear it from megumi when he gasps a bit and pulls away from yuuji’s touch, “what kind of a—”  

but yuuji doesn’t want to hear his side of the story right now. in fact, if all goes his way, he won’t be hearing much of anything from megumi tonight—he reaches his hand back up to pinch at megumi’s ear, and hushes him, “i’m just asking her, meg. she’s my girlfriend now, too. don’t i get to know these things?” 

your mouth is slightly ajar, and yuuji chuckles. you’re so quiet, he’s beginning to think he’s scared you, but soon, you smile, sweet, and gentle, and he can’t even blame megumi for fawning over you since middle school. “i—i didn’t hate you yuuji,” you reply, “i thought—think—you’re good for megumi. i just wanted him to be happy, and you make him happy.” 

yuuji hums. no wonder you two never got together before. “so you’re the self-sacrificing type, too, huh?” he smiles, far less innocently than you might think, “maybe i should have gotten you and yuuta-senpai together, instead.” 

you look like you’re about to refute, but megumi pulls back again, throughly annoyed when he interjects, “what the hell are you—”

but yuuji is quick to move his hand from his ear to his throat, pinching his fingers around his neck with just enough pressure to stutter and silence him. 

“i’m still not talking to you,” he reminds megumi, eyes sharp. he squeezes around megumi’s neck a bit tighter, before turning his attention back to you, “was he always like this? always biting before you can bark? must have been kind of annoying to deal with, huh?” 

your eyes widen, bambi-like and yuuji almost coos. from where you’re sitting against the headboard, you can’t see megumi’s face completely, just a sliver of his cheek, but you can probably tell by the reddening skin around his neck and ears that yuuji’s not just choking him for show. 

“i—uh… it’s not like that, it’s just… yuuji you’re gonna hurt him…”

but, you should also be able to tell that megumi’s not fighting it either. 

“you’re always so worried about him,” yuuji pushes megumi back against the pillows, paying no mind to his panting, simply ordering, “stay down.” 

yuuji then reaches out for you instead, gently pulling your body towards in him stark contrast to how he’d treated megumi a moment ago—twirling you as best he can while you’re kneeling on the mattress, maneuvering your body so that you’re straddling megumi and yuuji’s back is pressed against yours. 

yuuji hears you gasp, ever so lightly, when you inadvertently press your crotch against megumi’s. he almost wants to watch you two do that instead, but right now he’s a man on a mission, so instead, he puts his hands on his hips to keep you still, “see—he can take it. he even likes it.” 

you raise a hand to reach out to megumi, but yuuji stops you, forcing your back flush against his front, and caging you in with his arms and resting his chin against your shoulder. he turns his head to kiss you on the cheek, slow, once, and then again, and then against your earlobe, “you wanna try?” 

“try—what, choking him?” you ask, trying to turn your head to face yuuji, but he keeps it steady, keeps you facing megumi. 

“it’s not like you’re gonna hurt him,” yuuji hums against your skin, trails open-mouthed kisses along your neck. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”  

“well, uh... megumi, do you—”  

but yuuji raises a hand to squish your cheeks together before you can finish, turns your head to him and tuts, “i’m telling you it’s okay. megumi didn’t ask you before he asked me out, right? you don’t need his permission for everything, princess.” 

yuuji’s not just leveraging your feelings against each other now—now it’s sexual knowledge too, all the fantasies megumi has indulged him in about you, all the kinks he has that you’re clueless to. yuuji knows that despite the history you and megumi have, he’s the bridge between you now—and right now, yuuji wants you on his side.

“must bother you a little bit, right?” yuuji coos, releasing his grasp on your cheeks and using his hand to tilt your chin upwards to face him, “that he asked me out when he still had a crush on you. it still bothers me sometimes—and yet he had the nerve to get upset when i asked you about it. kinda selfish, no?” 

“i’m just saying, i think you should teach him a lesson,” yuuji continues, using his other hand to help your body rock against megumi’s, drinking in the sight of your pliant lips and the sound of his strained sighs. 

megumi’s probably not far from cumming in his boxers at this point, and you’re not far from helping yuuji make him do worse. 

“come on, princess,” yuuji smiles, pressing a kiss to your cheek before looking at megumi, “you gonna help me put a leash on him?” 

it’s an invitation and a threat, this you seem to understand. you can say yes to yuuji, say yes to having megumi between you two tonight, say yes and have a little bit of power; or you can say no, and be on the receiving end of punishment. 

yuuji almost thinks you’ll choose the latter out of loyalty, out of devotion to your best friend, out of shyness and inexperience in taking what you want, but you’re not just megumi’s anymore—your his girl now, too, and you make it known when your soft hand crawls up megumi chest and to his neck, and hesitantly wraps around his throat. 

tonight, megumi’s yours and yuuji’s. 

“good girl,” yuuji grins, wicked with intent when he presses a kiss to the back of your neck, “now lets have some fun with him.” 

[idyllic-affections]

i’m in love with the kaveh disaster dad au you have and i would love to see alhaitham becoming closer with kavehs kid. like mr stoic over there having no idea where those books and supplies about that very niche thing they were talking about yesterday came from

newfound fondness.

summary. alhaitham grows a little more fond of the orphan kaveh insisted on adopting.

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. alhaitham & child!reader. 0.9k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. hello dear <3333 i really needed a shorter request to write bc all of my other requests are a bit more lengthy and i'm in just a little bit of a burnout state so i am delighted by this request. i love my adoptive dad kaveh series...... i also realize now that i don't really talk too much about alhaitham and his relationship with [name] compared to how often i talk about tighnari and kaveh's relationship with them. also cyno???? i have neglected him too??????

at first, alhaitham wasn't keen on bonding with kaveh's adopted child; a child would only disrupt the comfortable life he has both built for himself and worked so hard to maintain. of course... he ended up being wrong. terribly wrong.

all throughout [name]'s first few months of being integrated into their new family in sumeru, they don't spend much time—if any at all—in kaveh and alhaitham's shared house. most of their time is spend in gandharva ville or in sumeru city, the latter being either on the weekends with kaveh or throughout the week with tighnari (if he happens to need something from the city and decides to let them tag along). given this fact, it's not at all a surprise that they didn't really know much of alhaitham, aside from the casual mentions of him from their other sumeru family members.

later on, as kaveh slowly grows into the vacant father role in their life, filling the empty space, they start spending weekends at his house... which is really the scribe's house, but at the time, that detail meant nothing to them. alhaitham never bothers to correct them, either. it doesn't really matter.

sometimes kaveh has to run errands and doesn't want to take them out in the glaring midday sun; they didn't grow up in sumeru, and they're already having a hard time adjusting to the heat (not that he's any better at handling it), so he doesn't want to risk exposing them to the sun at the peak of the day. sometimes he has to go meet one of his clients for a consultation and can't take them with him. who knows? either way, kaveh always makes these trips as quick as possible. his weekends belong to no-one but his kid. his clients find his doting behavior very cute, thankfully, so he hardly ever takes long.

alhaitham is always home during these occurrences (kaveh forbids him from leaving, since he wouldn't so much as dream of leaving his child home alone at such a young and vulnerable age—not that the scribe would leave them home alone, but still). naturally, this led to unavoidable meetings.

alhaitham quickly picked up on the many odd behavioral patterns kaveh's child displayed.

they were quiet—with him, at least. they were happy and expressive like most other children their age with kaveh or tighnari or collei, but with him? they never said a word, only speaking when spoken to, quietly shuffling around the house without so much as a peep... but more importantly, he sure as hell noticed the way they'd peek around the wall and shyly watch him as he read. they never got closer than that, though, and they'd run off if they realized he had seen them. based on this, he simply came to the conclusion that they were shy.

...or anxious, he supposes, but there is a vast difference between anxiety and shyness, and what he sees in them is not necessarily anxiety.

eventually, he does get sick of it. it's not like he worried about coming off as intimidating, no. it's just that if [name] maintains a poor image of him, it would eventually be an inconvenience for him. yes, yes, that was all. he just needed to kill a potentially dangerous rumor at its source before it got vastly out of hand. that's all.

"come here."

the way he sounds when he beckons them over is admittedly a little harsher than what he meant to be, so he's very much glad that they still do come over to him, timidly fidgeting with their sleeves.

"since you seem so interested... sit down, i'll read to you."

"h— huh? really?"

"hurry up before i change my mind."

as alhaitham reads to them, he points out words they may not understand and explains what they mean, also going as far as to help them pronounce some words that they mentioned having trouble with back at gandharva ville.

"oh... tighnari showed me that word, but i can't get it right."

they also can't pronounce tighnari's name correctly, which makes alhaitham's lips quirk upwards ever so slightly.

"here... i'll show you. which word is it that you're having trouble with?"

though it is something of a tutoring session, alhaitham finds that there's something... calming about it. he doesn't bother moving them away as they gradually get closer, only adjusting to accommodate them.

he also doesn't say anything when their weight falls a little heavier on his chest.

...did they really feel safe enough to fall asleep, just like that? the thought makes a fond warmth spread in his chest. he has no intention of telling kaveh or anyone else, though.

kaveh comes home later to see his child curled up asleep in the scribe's arms.

(the second he points it out, which of course he does, alhaitham's cheeks flush a slight pink and he coughs, telling kaveh to come get his kid and claiming that they wouldn't leave him alone.

the architect has never rolled his eyes harder than he did at that.

alhaitham's newfound fondness is obvious, but kaveh decides to leave it alone for now.)

from then on, they are just as excited and bubbly when they see alhaitham as they are when they see any of their other family. he's even gotten accustomed to hoisting them up, balancing them on his hip, and just... carrying them around.

oh, and alhaitham has no idea where those hobby supplies came from. he's got no clue where those books on a hyper-specific topic that they mentioned offhandedly the other day came from. he has no clue. none in the slightest.

...

maybe alhaitham is a little soft for them. just a little.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[bucknastysbabe]

Rating: Explicit

Tags: College!au, modern!au, nerd loser baby Criston, loss of virginity, hot stem computer partner girly, older girl, Alicent for the win, short n sweet n smutty, pnv!sex, first dates, Criston’s inner dialogue, subby lil baby

Taglist: @bambitas @fallingintoyourlilaceyes @aemonds-holy-milk @targaryenbarbie @starogeorgina @moncherrii @valeskafics @arcielee @lovelykhaleesiii @sugarpoppss2

A/N: shout-out to @fairysluna “he looks like a loser who jacks off to hentai but I’d fuck him.” I made the divider :)

Criston knew he was a fucking incel. Maybe at some point in his miserable life he could’ve done a sport and use his decent height and muscle tone. But no, he was cripplingly shy and had a stutter that took forever to get rid of— sometimes rearing its ugly head when he was angry or flustered.

He spent his time studying, playing league of legends, and jerking off obscenely to hentai. Yes, the Japanese porn comics. It was easier to ignore how pathetic he was reading those or talking to a chat bot that thought everything he said was hot.

Criston thought best to keep under the radar, head down and attentive in his classes. One day he’d be a rich computer scientist Silicon Valley type and then he could just, like, have the girls come to him. Because he’d be rich. No longer weird, ugly, and a huge VIRGIN. He felt like it was stamped on his forehead. Or perhaps his was the Star Wars buttons on his jacket— that’s a big cue.

He tucked a dark hair behind his ear, shaking his head. Another year, but one less until he could move on in life. Cole was glad he was in college, it was scores better than the constant bullies in highschool. It was his second year now and he was ahead of schedule. He’d be in an upper level compsci class with some juniors or seniors.

Scary.

Maybe there would be some other weirdo girl like him that would take pity and they could fuck, then go to Thursday’s Dungeons and Dragons like it never occurred. He’d like that. Swift and easy. Erryk Cargyll and Elinda Massey did that. But the only girl he considered ‘friend’ was Alicent and he was pretty sure she was a lesbian. Also totally not a nerd, Ali was very cool and involved.

He sighed while ducking into a seat. Criston carefully placed his stuff down at the two person desk, focusing on getting the PC ready. The instructions on the board were simple enough.

A waft of perfume and the presence of another body startled Criston. He jumped in place, brown eyes glancing over at the girl- no- woman. She was fucking hot. Like why was she sitting next to him type of hot?

“Hi,” she extended a hand, eyes roving, “Criston!”

“H-how do you know m-my name?,” he echoed stupidly, shaking her dainty hand, eyes comically wide.

She gently let go of his hand after shaking one second too long and giggled, “It’s on your backpack.” Criston blushed bright red and nodded, “Yeah, you’re right, ha-haha?” Oh God he was going to self combust. She was so hot. Like she had these patent leather boots on, a little red plaid skirt, and some tight-ass high-necked white tank.

“What’s your name?,” he managed, grateful the stutter wasn’t making too much of an appearance. She smiled and told him, baring white teeth and cherry red lips. The teacher droned from the front, “Glad you’re acquainted now, that will be your partner for the rest of the semester.”

Cole was going to jizz himself. Not in the fun way? Maybe the fun way? He was terrified. He had to tell the boys on Thursday. The beauty next to him raised her brows and flicked one of his errant curls. She whispered, “Can’t wait, Criston!”

Oh God. Oh God! He wasn’t going to make it.

“Hnghhhh, fuck yes, I am your sempai, mmm,” Criston flopped back from his hentai and laid on the bed, “Fuck. This sucks.” His cock was still hard and nothing was cutting it recently. The twenty year old’s mind was settled on his computer science partner. Who was obscenely beautiful and sexy and smelled good and so so so smart.

Oh. He was jacking off again. Maybe this was what the missing piece was. Criston closed his eyes and began to pump his cock some more, imagining her perky tits bouncing as he fucked her over a desk. He gasped sharply, prick twitching excitedly at something tangible.

He thought about the cute way she’d laugh at his dumb jokes. Or when he’d fix something in a faulty program and she’d purr, “Oh! Smart boyyyy.” He whined through his nose, squirming in place, imagining her breathing that in his ear. Criston cried out sharply, cumming so damn hard spunk reached his collarbones.

He laid there breathless, a dopey smile across his face. She was so perfect. He laid in his post-nut bliss and pondered his partners actions. For a girl older and way cooler than him, she sure did enjoy talking to him, even had his number, and they met outside of class to work on their project.

Could there be? No, no. Totally not.

The nerd thought about the times she blushed or would bat his shoulder. Or the time they nearly kissed putting together a PC. She’d merely laughed and said, “Just have to ask me!” He had a meltdown and awkwardly laughed it off. Criston did the same when she was wearing a low-cut top and she breathed, “I wore this for you today, I know you wanna look Cole.”

He sat upright with a bolt.

“Wait what?” he shouted.

“Shut the fuck up loser!,” came the reply of his apartment roommate. Criston rolled his eyes and blinked a couple more times. He still had cum drying on his shoulders from jacking off about the girl of his pathetic dreams and she might be into him? He needed a long shower and help from Ali— stat.

She came through quite quickly after he sent the SOS message. First Ali wrinkled her nose at his room and complained, “Ugh, I’m glad I brought my candles. It smells like man in here. God.” He gave her puppy eyes until the redhead exclaimed, “What?”

“You gotta help me!,” he pled, “I uh- someone likes me back?”

It was a flurry of cinnamon scented womanly magic after his admission. Bless Alicat.

The auburn haired girl swished through Criston’s wardrobe. She raised a brow at him and asked, “Is there anything in here that doesn’t have a logo or some strange wording on it? I can’t believe you just realized she was into you, I could smack you!”

He sat on the bed, freshly showered and in his briefs. Alicent and him had known each other since childhood— this was nothing new. Ali helped him type out a witty way to ask her out tonight without being too dorky. Criston eked, “I think I have some button downs my dad gave me, but they’re probably shoved somewhere.”

“Aha! Found them, still pressed too. I think this darker tan will look good,” she said while stepping out of the closet. Honors college had nice digs. It did pay to be a nerd. Criston eyed the polo shirt, leagues away from his usual t-shirts and jackets.

Alicent narrowed her eyes. He hopped up and sighed, “Fine, fine, I’m putting it on. Just lemme get the undershirt.”

Now he was clad in a nice top, some not worn-to-death jeans, and his rarely used church loafers. He was a pretty shitty Catholic. Alicent styled his wild curls, giggling, “Look at you go, who would’ve thought, you two are going to be some lookers!”

Criston rolled his eyes and mumbled, “Yeah, hoping she doesn’t mind the big neon-lit ‘virgin’ sign over my head.”

Ali snickered, “Or the nasty cartoons you jerk it too, might wanna get rid of that evidence if you’re planning on getting that far, yeah stud?”

He blanched, stuttering up a storm as she laughed. Criston grabbed all and any evidence of his…prior predilections..and hid them under the bed. In a big lockbox. Then completely wiped his browser history and any suspicious downloads. Fire walled it or whatever.

He sighed again, getting jittery, reading a text from the cutie.

‘Hey handsome, still see you in 30 on the plaza? I’m excited for the pizza and games! 💋’

Criston immediately squawked, “Ali!”

She ‘tsked’ and looked at the text. Then looked back at him with a funny look. Alicent deadpanned, “You’re such an idiot for being smart. I wish half the girls I texted were this forward. Just tell her yes, you can’t wait, you know she’s gonna look gorgeous and throw some emoji in!”

“So you are a lesbian?”

“And you’re not telling a soul!”

They pinky promised, Ali giving him a warm hug and pat on the cheek. She teased, “Luv yaaaa Nerd, don’t forget to wrap it!” He blushed and waved her off. Criston rubbed the back of his neck, glad he had such a good friend. He quickly typed back.

‘Hi- yeah I’ll see you there. I know you’ll be gorgeous, can’t wait xx’

The date had gone great. They didn’t ID either. So beers, pizza, and dumb arcade games they played. Criston probably had her up-down look at him sketched into his mind. She was in a cutesy dress herself, cut mid-thigh and a heart shaped window in the front to show her…assets. Not to forget some Doc’s he would gladly be stomped by.

“Criston, oh my god, you look so cute, who dressed you up,” she pulled him into a tight hug, whispering, “Should I be jealous?”

He sheepishly smiled, “No, just my childhood friend, she’s kinda, we’re not, you know.”

His class partner giggled, patting his chest, “No need, I gotcha. We all need those friends. C’mon let’s go!”

He couldn’t help but goofily smile down at her as they held hands walking to the pizza joint. Sometimes Criston would get so lost in his head and self-conscious, it would seem like he was always underfoot. But tonight, with her, he felt his right size. She grabbed their interlaced hands and pecked his skin, giggling.

Christ have mercy, lord have mercy. He was so down bad.

But as he said, the night went awesome. Conversation never lulled, he taught her the secret to ski-ball, and she schooled Criston in pac-man. He got his first kiss on the walk back, paused at the stoplight, waiting to walk. She pulled back and murmured, “You’ve been the best date.”

Criston, likely all moony eyes now, gushed back, “God, same, really, you’re great you know that? I’m just a bit clueless.”

She shrugged, “That’s okay. We don’t have to know everything.”

They walked near the honor’s college. They both chirped at the same time, “You uh-“ then burst into laughter. Criston grinned and ran a hand through his inky hair. He shuffled his balance and gestured, “Do you want to come back to my room? It’s all clean and female verified.”

“Lead the way handsome.”

Criston was glad for the bit of liquid courage still in his system, kissing and hugging on his ‘friend girl’? She was so sweet and touchy, it was driving him mad. He idly wondered if she was all sweet and adorable like that in bed. Thankfully his dick was tucked away.

The brunette keyed into his room, her arms around his waist, face smushed into his back. The junior cooed, “You smell good, you’re the cutest thing I swear, can’t believe this.” Criston eyed her nervously as he stepped in, replying, “You’re a catch, I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t go for you.”

She straightened up, looking into his dark eyes as she admitted, “No, it wasn’t that I was lacking…just searched for the wrong attention I suppose. You’re actually respectful.”

Criston smiled at that, snorting, “Catholic boy values I guess.”

“Or you are a good boy like I said,” she teased, thumbing Criston’s now-flaming cheeks.

“Can I kiss you again?” he eagerly asked.

They locked lips again, her arms around his neck, Criston tilting his face so his damn nose wouldn’t get in the way. His hands were politely shaking at her waist as they made out. Her tongue softly lapped into his mouth, the man gasping and returning the favor.

She moved his shaky hands down to her ass with a snicker. Criston groaned between kisses as he groped her pert ass— fuck, this was heaven! Cole walked her backwards towards the bed, pushing her back onto the freshly made covers. She smiled up at him, lips plump, the led lights from his room casting a neat glow.

“Come on then, can you get the shoes?,” she teased while shucking off her tight black dress. Criston eagerly dropped to the ground, whimpering as his hard cock painfully brushed against the fly of his pants. He quickly undid the thick boots and neatly placed them to the side.

Coming back up, he got an eyeful of pretty fucking titties and manicured hands on his waist. She purred, “Heard you down there, all good babes?” Criston nodded with a swallow and pathetic noise. She cooed while undoing his belt and pants, reminding him of the button down.

Now Criston’s lean body was on display with her own, only underwear between the two. That was perfectly dandy for him as he clambered over her perfect form, now playfully making out on their sides. Every single time his cock would graze the random throw pillow between them he’d whimper into her wet mouth, growing flustered. The front of his briefs were getting sticky.

He tried to not to rut against it, but he had a handful of fucking tit and her soft lips and noises, and Criston was only a weak little bitch! She pulled back to laugh, “You know, I’d much prefer you fuck me making those cute noises. But that’s up to you baby.”

He blinked owlishly, hand moving up her thigh to ask. “You don’t want me to uh- touch you first?”

“Sweetheart, I’m wet enough as is and we can worry about alllll that other stuff later hm?”

Criston made a gutted noise, nodding. She was right, he’d blow all over himself if he got to feel around her pussy for a bit. He rasped, “Yeah, okay, good- lemme get the condom.” He reached over her smaller frame, digging around the side table for the damn condom, trying to put his bravest face on.

Criston made a little ‘aha’ as he snagged the packet, settling onto his haunches and ripping the packet with his teeth. Meanwhile she undid her bra and shucked down wet panties, the slickness hitting his lean thigh. “Hng-fucking shit!,” the brunette accidentally moaned.

“Yeah babes? That’s all for you, here, lemme help.”

She grabbed the tacky lubed condom, rolling it on Criston, her teeth biting into a plump lip. He shuddered through the movement, taught tummy tensing and rolling as he tried to calm down. “There we go, you’re alright, just breathe sweeatheart,” the girl cooed.

Criston nodded haphazardly, easing himself onto his elbows, staring wide-eyed into her own. He wanted to blab about being a virgin, how he was scared of fucking up, how damn pretty and sweet the brunette thought she was. The beauty pecked his lips and cooed, “I know, take it easy, s’fine Criston.”

He jerkily nodded again, lashes fluttering against the faint neon lighting. Criston grabbed his cock and began to ease it into her, gasping wetly. His computer partner took over from there, wrapping soft legs around his waist, murmuring sweet nothings.

Soon he was seated inside her tight, warm, velvet pussy. Criston buried his face between her tits, sniveling and gasping as he tried to fight off every single nerve in his body screaming to let go. He tried to speak, more of a plethora of strangled whines and whimpers escaping his raw throat.

“Shhh, don’t think so much, s’okay Cris, you’re okay,” she hummed while petting soft hands down his heaving flanks and sides. Plush lips planted a kiss on his suddenly wet cheeks. God he was a mess. A whiny, flimsy, wet mess. The way she was squeezing around him made the rational part of his brain realize she enjoyed the pitiful sex still.

“Hn-okay? I- uhohgod- okay?”

She smiled and kissed him, the heels of her feet ushering Criston on. He began to pump slowly, liking the way her soft moan made his chest puff in excitement. The brunette began to build a decent rhythm, panting and moaning between sloppy kisses. He got lost in the feeling, truly.

Soon the cutie was gasping and begging, “Don’t cum yet, j-just, Criston, touch my clit, it’s the nub at the top, yes!, right there!” He listened carefully, thumbing at her swollen nub, panting like a racehorse between suckling at budded nipples. He’d ended up at a breakneck pace, completely over any pretense he was going to make a manly noise tonight.

Criston fought off his orgasm, although it was on top on him now. He moved his lips to hers again, swirling his thumb, thrusting his slim hips into perfect goddamn pussy. He gasped, “Oh, oh, oh God, m’gonna cum baby, m’gonna cummmmm!” The boy would definitely never admit he somewhat squealed.

His cutie whined excitedly under the loud sounds of the bed creaking, lean hips clapping into her softer flesh. She begged, “Right there sweetheart, mm, good boy, good boy! Right there with you!” She clung to his shoulders and tightened down, chanting Criston’s name like a litany.

Criston Cole was pretty sure he saw God when his balls drew up and he slammed back into her welcoming pussy. Sure, there was a condom, but the sophomore’s ears still rung with the choir of angels and he probably sounded like a slip of a thing getting her cunt pounded but it was worth it. So very worth it.

He kept playing with her clit until she milked him, again, crying out happily, throwing her pretty hair back and groaning throatily. “Ohhhhh, f-fuck, oh my god, mmm!,” he eloquently replied to her, feeling another little peak pass through his overstimulated system. He collapsed against her soft frame, panting softly, whimpering every other breath.

Oh god he was crying, this was not the time to be— oh she kissed it away.

“That’s alright baby, you did great, Mhm,” she hummed and nuzzled against his face.

Huh. Maybe he was in love now. Fuck hentai.

[liyawritesss]

Hey! If you're requests are open I'd love to read how a meeting between the reader and 1610 Miles at a party would go. Love your writing!

ᴍᴇᴇᴛɪɴɢ ʜɪᴍ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ

Characters: Spiderverse!1610!Miles Morales x Black!GN!Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Synopsis: At another one of Rio’s rooftop parties, there’s a new face among the crowd. How would Miles take to meeting a new friend at a party?

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff we all deserve !!

A/N: Still slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things! A lot has been going on recently that has affected my motivation and ability to write, but I’m still here and still very present in all the fandoms i’m in, so don’t be shy to send in those requests!

Tags: @6-noir @babyboiboyega @badass-dora-milaje @jacuzziwaters @mbakuetshurisprincess @shuriszn @verachii @writingintheshadowsforever @cafehyunji @niyahwrites @marsfunzon22 @briology @honeybleed @romiantic @onlyperc @starsoirees @yasminisbroke @asensitivecookie @kdyance @sussybaka10 @famedrs-blog @milesismyhubby @foreclosure--of--a--dream @ykimobessed @soilmayo @edgyficuselastica @coffeeandtealol @moon-bo-young @imtoofineforthisworld

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I often imagine in these kind of situations, because Miles doesn’t have many friends, he’s often either off to the side somewhere just jamming to the music on his own, or the little cousins are absolutely hounding him for some form of entertainment. There is no in between lol. But for this, lets refer to the formerly mentioned, and say this also takes place after the trilogy fiasco.

Like said previously, he doesn’t have many friends. The friends he does- or, did have, he can’t ever really see again. Maybe he’s got his cousins the talk to, and he of course has Ganke on speed dial, but other than that, Miles definitely feels more alone than ever at these parties.

A new face coming around would be met with a bit of apprehension. He doesn’t know how he should approach you. Should he introduce himself first? Wait til your parent(s) do? Should he offer you something from the food table? Start the conversation about the mix the DJ is playing? You definitely see the thoughts flashing across his face, and it’s only when you’re in front of him that his mind completely halts he lets a strained ‘hi’ come from his lips, a sheepish smile on his face and his heart racing because he probably looks like an idiot right now-

Turns out, you’re the kid of yet another family friend - can never have too many of those am i right? - who’s just as lost as he is, just as nervous and out of touch as he is. Maybe you don’t want to be here, maybe you aren’t sure why you had to come in the first place. But Miles’ first act of kindness to break the awkward silence is to awkwardly shuffle his feet, reach into his pocket to pull out his earbud case, and offer one up to you with a sheepish “do you like rap music?’

You both sit for a minute as you shuffle through his music playlists - he’s kind of nervous cuz he hopes you’re not judging his music taste, but when he sees you bobbing your head to the beat, it gives him some relief. After some time with this, one (or both) of your stomach rumbles and the food table is suddenly calling your name. Miles leads you to it so that he can tell you all that’s laid out. He himself eagerly grabs a small plateful of alcapurrias de Yuca (stuffed Yuca fritters) and tostones (double-fried plantains). He makes a point to point out some foods you may like - there’s a wide array of them, no thanks to his mom and aunties who always make sure the party table is always filled with foods from home.

Remember that scaffolding under the water tower for that building that was shown in the movies? Yeah, he takes you up there. Partially because the music is too loud to hear his own thoughts now, but also because he now sees you as someone cool and potential friend, and wants to get to know you better. Maybe it’s also the looming eyes of his mom that seemingly tell him to at least try and make friends with (especially someone they know, all things considered). And that’s where you guys chill out for the remainder of the party. You share socials, send each other titktoks or instagram reels, and make sure to exchange contact info to keep in touch. I think that throughout all of this, despite the anxiety that always comes with meeting someone new, Miles is forever grateful that he’s gained a new friend, and he definitely can’t wait to hang out with you more!

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don’t be shy to send in a request! Reminder, if you aren't tag, Tumblr may not be letting me tag you :c womp womp.

[h-c-u]

Bose with the Boss

Summary: Toto has to stay in the office late, but that doesn't mean he can't help you in different ways.

Pairing: Toto Wolff x shy fem!reader

W/C: 4.8k

Rating: +18, age gap, daddy kink, dirty talk, praise kink, dom/sub, phone sex, guided masturbation, cockwarming (if you squint), somnophilia

A/N: I will never be able to look at my headphones the same way. BTW - does anyone know how to get on Bose PR list? Asking for a friend...

Masterlist | List of tags

It was getting really late...

You knew what you were getting into when you started a relationship with such a powerful and important man, but there were moments when you hated that he had so many things to think about, because when he was taking care of them, he wasn't taking care of you. It's not like you resented him for it, but there were times when you just felt lonely, and this evening was one of those times.

With a heavy sigh, you put away the dinner you hoped to eat with him, opened a bottle of wine, and poured yourself a glass. The house you came to love seemed too big and quiet right now, and you honestly didn't have the energy to do anything, so you just moved to the bedroom and changed into a shirt he wore yesterday to trick your brain into thinking that he was near. With a pilot, you turned on the fireplace and after a few minutes of staring mindlessly into the fire, you decided to call him. It was late and it was a wind-tunnel day, so you suspected he wouldn't answer because he was still with the team, going over the results, but to your surprise he did.

- I'm sorry I'm not home yet, Schatzi... - he started with an apology, which was both good and bad. Good, because even though he didn't say he'll be back for dinner, he still felt guilty for leaving you alone for so long, and bad, because it meant that he wouldn't be back soon.

- Tunnel day, I understand... - you said, your voice much quieter than you wanted it to be, but that made him realize that something wasn't exactly right. And the fact that you logically understood why he had to stay longer didn't change how you felt. But you weren't going to take it out on him; he didn't deserve it.

- What's wrong...? - you could hear the creaking of the chair, which meant that he turned around from the screens and now you had his undivided attention, even if he wasn't as close as you wanted him to be.

You wanted to say it was nothing, that everything was fine, but the lie got stuck in your throat. Well, not exactly a lie, but also nothing serious enough to burden him with, especially when his work most likely already emotionally drained him.

- I feel alone... And I miss you... - you whispered eventually after a long moment of silence. It was still hard for you to be vulnerable with anyone, but it was something you were actively working on.

- Oh, Schatzi... - his voice was dripping with guilt because he hated making you feel like that.

- I have wine, I turned on the fireplace, I'm in your shirt... I'm going to be ok, I just wanted to hear your voice. - you almost instantly tried to make him feel better, which wasn't the healthiest response, but it was the only one that came to the surface. You heard a loud sigh from the other side of the phone, and for a moment you felt bad for bringing it up. In the end, you were living in his house, on his money and you could do whatever you wanted without any worries thanks to him... And yet you still dared to crave more...

- I'll make it up to you, I promise... - you couldn't help but smile, because you knew that his word was his bond, and you couldn't wait to see what he'll come up with.

- Are you alone...? - you asked in a barely audible whisper. You weren't sure if it was loneliness, the wine, or the mix of both, but you needed something from him.

- I am... - he replied in a soft, deep voice, that by some miracle was able to make you feel warm all over.

- Could you...? I need... - even though you were completely alone, you still couldn't say what you wanted out loud. - Please...? - you knew you didn't have to finish the request for him to know what you needed; the desperation in your voice was louder than any words. There was a very subtle chuckle from the other side of the line, but you knew he wasn't making fun of you.

- Do you need Daddy to tell you what you want...? - he almost growled and you felt the blush spilling all over your cheeks and down your chest. Out of instinct, you nodded enthusiastically, forgetting that he couldn't exactly see you at the moment. - Use your words, Princess... - the wave of embarrassment instantly washed over you.

- Yes... - you whispered into the phone, hoping that the microphone would pick up your quiet voice.

- Yes what...? - there was no need to be as embarrassed as you were. Having needs and wants was normal. But you still needed a moment to gather the courage to say what he wanted to hear out loud.

- Yes, I need you to tell me what to do, Daddy. - as soon as the words left your mouth, you felt the warmth traveling down your body.

- Get the headphones from my nightstand, since you'll need both of your hands today, Princess... - you instantly rolled over to his side of the bed, turned the headphones on, paired them to your phone, and put them on your head.

- Done... - you said, but you didn't move back just yet.

- That's my good girl... - you felt his deep voice traveling down your spine, and your eyelids fluttered involuntarily from the sensation, but you wouldn't dare to lower the volume; not when Toto's voice reached the places you didn't even know needed scratching. - Now take out that special toy Daddy bought for you... - you did as he asked, feeling his every word in the back of your neck and you had to bite your lip not to flinch. - Do you have it...?

- Yes... - you whispered. Or at least you thought you did, because you weren't able to hear your own voice through the noise-canceling headphones.

- Perfect... But we're not going to use it just yet, Princess. I want you to lean back on all those pillows you made me get, and close your eyes. - he gave you a moment to follow his instructions and then he continued. - Now put two of your beautiful fingers in your mouth and make them all nice and wet for me... - you would do anything he asked of you right now, because his voice was shooting straight through every single part of your brain, consuming anything else. - You know how Daddy always places a string of kisses along your jaw and down your neck...? I want you slowly trace it with those two fingers... Gently, don't put much pressure... - you took your time moving your hand right below your earlobe and slowly glided your fingers over your skin, leaving a wet path behind. Wetness soon turned into cold, which shot straight to your nipples, because that's where usually Toto's mouth went next. Even though you were the one responsible for this sensation, the delay in your barely noticeable touch and the coldness made it easier to imagine that it was someone else. - Now wet your fingers again and go a little bit lower, in between your breasts... And come back up. - his voice shot through your core again and you did exactly as he requested. - Tell me, Princess... Are your nipples already hard and perked up...? - the confidence in his voice was contrasting with the blush that instantly covered your cheeks. And you were the one who was alone in your house, while he was at the factory where anyone could enter his office at any time.

- Yes... - you whispered quietly. You wanted to hide your face from embarrassment, but there was no one to hide from.

- Yes what...? - he urged you to continue.

- Yes, Daddy... My nipples are hard... - you bit your lip right after the words left your mouth.

- You're doing amazing, Princess... - the praise was so genuine that you almost melted into the pillows below you. - Now gently pinch and roll them in between your fingers, just like Daddy does... - you moved both of your hands down to undo the first few buttons of Toto's shirt and slid your hands under the white material to follow his instructions, and as soon as your fingers fount their destination, you couldn't help but moan, even before you continued... You barely did anything, but his voice dominating everything else managed to rile you up so well, that you could feel the wetness gathering on your folds already. - Louder... - you could just say that he was smiling, hearing how strong of an effect he had over you. So, when you finally rolled your fingers, you let the moan slip from your lips uninterrupted. - Come on, Schatzi, it's just me and you... Louder... I know you can do it. - for him, you could do anything... So, the next time you tightened your fingers, you went all in... You could feel your own moan vibrating through your chest, even though you could barely hear it through the headphones. - That's my girl... Again. - how could you say no when he was speaking in such a commanding voice?

Your cheeks were hot from the arousal, your lips dry and puffy from the constant biting and sucking, but somehow you could still feel the trail of coldness left by your own fingers on your skin, and it felt like his ghost was there with you. Electricity was buzzing in your nerve endings, and your whole body was singing for more, but you didn't dare to do anything he didn't tell you to do.

- Run your fingers through your folds for me... - one of your hands instantly shot down. - How wet are you, Princess? - you had to take a deep breath before you answered because you knew that one word just wouldn’t be enough for him. He wanted to push your boundaries, force you out of your comfort zone and make you feel so good as a reward... Sooner or later you would have to be a bit more descriptive, so why put yourself through the embarrassment twice...?

- I'm soaked, Daddy... There was barely any resistance when my fingers glided... Glided through m-your pussy... - you could feel the uncomfortable heat pooling in all the wrong places. He hummed, clearly pleased at your choice of words.

- Hmmm... What did I do to deserve such a good girl...? - his voice shot all the way through your spine once again. - And good girls like you deserve a reward... - even when he didn't tell you to do anything, your breath was still quicker than usual, and you could feel your walls involuntarily clenching around nothing. - Get the toy, Princess... Run it through your folds, but no dipping just yet. Make it all nice and slick first. - you fumbled for a moment in search of the vibrator you pulled from the nightstand earlier.

At first, you just wet the tip without putting any pressure, because you were afraid of the sounds that would have come out of your mouth if you did. But eventually, you had to change the angle, and you ended up gently nudging your already oversensitive clit, which made you shiver and moan even louder than before.

- Beautiful... Don't hold back, Schatzi. You have a voice of an angel... - you weren't sure if the heat in your cheeks was from his compliments or from your arousal, but it was definitely there.

The smooth silicon was gliding through your folds without any resistance in no time, and you couldn't help but wonder if the microphone picked up all the sounds your soaked pussy must have been making... You couldn't hear them yourself because of the headphones, but you were sure they were there.

- Turn it on, lowest setting... And hold it just above your lovely clit. Let the vibrations travel through your skin and bone and tease you for a moment. - as soon as you pressed the vibrator in the spot he was talking about, your whole body curled up, and out of instinct, you covered your mouth with your hand, because you didn't want to be too loud, but you still didn't move the toy. Even the slightest stimulation traveled deep into your core, reaching not only the exposed bundle of nerves but the parts that were hidden where they usually couldn't be reached. - Schatzi... - he warned you, and you instantly realized what you did wrong. But instead of punishing you, he was giving you a chance to correct that mistake.

- Sorry, Daddy... - you mumbled, right after the vibrations tore a loud moan from between your now uncovered lips.

- Good girl... Now stop. - you moved the toy away from your pussy, but you didn't turn it off. You felt a thin layer of sweat already gathering on your skin and being almost instantly absorbed by Toto's shirt. Your hair was sticking to your face, but you couldn't find enough care to move the strands away, because your whole brain was consumed by the need to get closer to that hot-white, overwhelming pleasure.

But he remained silent...

- Daddy...? - for a moment you were afraid that the connection dropped or that he hung up.

- Yes, Princess...? - his deep voice was both like a cooling pad for your brain and a heating one for your body. But now he was just being mean... He knew how close you were, yet he still chose to mercilessly tease you. You also knew what he wanted you to say, and why he wanted you to say it... He enjoyed making you all embarrassed and flustered, but by forcing you to word your wants and needs, he was actually helping you in the long run. Still, that didn't change the fact that using your orgasm as leverage wasn't something you enjoyed.

- Can I please put the vibrator inside me, turn it to the highest setting, and cum...? - you finally asked, the words leaving your mouth so quickly, that you were afraid they all merged into one.

- Since you asked so nicely... - you could feel the pride in his voice. It was such a small thing, but it was really far out of your comfort zone, and he understood that better than anyone else. - And let me hear it, Princess... - you carefully pushed the toy deeper inside you, trying to find the right angle, and when you did, your knees flew open and your hips rose up, trying to accommodate and meet someone that wasn't there... By the sounds you made, Toto instantly realized what happened. - You're doing such a good job... - his deep voice rumbled through your whole body, as you were struggling to catch your breath. He was so composed compared to you, and even though you couldn't see him, you knew, there was not a hair out of place and not a wrinkle on his clothes, while you were a whining mess, barely able to control your moves, not to mention the sounds you were making...

You finally got enough brainpower to turn up the settings, and your moans became higher and more frequent, even though you were currently clenching your teeth from all the sensations; you didn't even have to move the toy inside you, because the constant stimulation of your g-spot was already pulling you to the top. You wouldn't be able to last long like that, but that wasn't the point... He wanted you to feel good, even though he wasn't there to help with that.

You didn't realize when you turned to your side and pulled your knees to your chest so close, that you were able to rest your sweaty forehead on them. You felt the tears streaming down your cheeks from your shut eyes, and you were no longer moaning... There was only a high, steady sound escaping your mouth through your bitten lip and then it happened.

- That's it... That's my good girl... - you heard Toto's voice just as you were being violently pushed over the edge. Your body uncurled with such force that few of the pillows were thrown off the bed, and one of the still-closed buttons of Toto's shirt flew somewhere nowhere to be found again. And then you collapsed and buried yourself deeper in the pillows below you with the vibrating toy still inside you, but it was no longer pressing against your g-spot, so you were able to catch a breath. - You did so well, Princess... - you couldn't help the smile that bloomed on your face.

- Thank you... - you mumbled into the soft material of the pillow, so you weren't exactly sure how eligible it was. You reached down to turn off the toy, but you couldn't bring yourself to take it out just yet, because somehow it made you feel less alone.

- I love you, Schatzi... Go to sleep, I'll be there when you wake up, I promise... - your mind was already drifting somewhere far away, but his words cut through the pleasant fog and gave you an idea. With your eyes still closed, you reached to the drawer of your nightstand, pulled out a small figurine, and placed it on top, right next to an unfinished glass of wine.

- I love you too... - you responded automatically, almost as a reflex or muscle memory, but it didn't change the fact that it was true. You didn't hear the sound that indicated that the call was disconnected, because you were already asleep.

Toto knew you were asleep, that’s why he did his best not to make any sounds when he entered your home. He reset the alarm, took his shoes and the jacket off, and left his bag, phone, and keys on the dining room table. He poured himself a glass of cold water from the dispenser in the fridge and took two deep breaths to reset himself and put some distance between his life at home and work. And when he finally felt the threads tethering him to the office unhooking from his brain, he was ready to go to the bedroom, where you were currently sound asleep.

As soon as he entered the room still dimly lit by a fire from a fireplace, your sight took his breath away. He leaned on the doorframe and just stood there for a moment with his arms crossed on his chest, basking in your glory. You were laying on your stomach, with your left leg hooked up and resting on one of the soft pillows, around which you also had your arms wrapped. You were still wearing his headphones and your lovely figure was hidden by his own shirt, which almost made him purr, the possessiveness in him completely satisfied with you covered from head to toe in his things. Only after a moment, he noticed the smooth silicone toy peeking from between your folds, and his eyes immediately shot to your nightstand, where he noticed a small porcelain figurine, which made him smile.

He rolled up his sleeves and lazily strolled to the bed. You didn't react in any way when the mattress dipped under his weight when he started crawling in between your legs. Not even when he gently traced his fingers up your thigh until they reached the smooth silicon toy still buried deep in you, with the other end digging into the inside of your thigh, the angle being the sole thing holding it in its place.

When he turned on the vibrations on the lowest setting, you stirred in your sleep and pushed your hips higher up, as if you wanted to give him even more access. He very slowly moved the toy out and back inside you, which made you part your lips in your sleep. With his every move, your breathing became louder, and eventually, there was a soft whine that escaped from your mouth. He could already feel your slick on his fingers, but he didn't stop using the toy just yet; he wanted to make sure that you were as relaxed and ready as possible. He was satisfied only when you subconsciously started humping the toy to meet his movements, so he turned the vibrator off and slowly took it out of you while you tried to follow it.

He didn't even bother undressing completely, only undoing the buttons and zipper of his pants, and freeing his already hard cock from behind two layers of material. Slowly and careful not to wake you up, he ran his whole length in between your folds, lubricating it with your juices. And then he carefully guided his tip inside you, stretching you even more than the toy did just a few moments ago.

The softness of your warm, welcoming walls clenching around him made him moan, but even if you weren't asleep, you wouldn't be able to hear that because of the headphones. He stayed like that for a short while, soaking in the tenderness and intimacy of this moment... The amount of trust you were putting in him always got to him in those types of situations, and he would be a fool if he ever abused it. So instead, he leaned down, still holding his weight on his strong arms, careful not to put any on you, and placed a soft, gentle kiss on the back of your neck. Your face relaxed more if that was even possible, and he just rested his forehead on the place where his lips were just a second ago. He knew you would eventually wake up, but he wanted to challenge himself a little to see how close he could get you to an orgasm before you did, so his moves were slow and gentle... Almost sloppy... But then came a moment when your walls clenched harder around him and his hips snapped in involuntary response, slapping hard against your ass, and that finally made you regain consciousness. Although for a moment you weren't exactly sure what was happening, you knew you were safe.

It would be so easy to go back to sleep, but as soon as you realized what Toto was doing, you turned your head back and caught his lips in a deep kiss, in the middle of which he gently removed the headphones from your head.

- You're so good for me, Princess... So perfect... - he whispered, resting his forehead against yours.

- Just for you... Only for you... - you whispered trying to touch, to feel him more, but the angle made it impossible, so you move your knee even closer to your chest and did a complete 180 turn under him, somehow managing to keep him inside you. Your hands instantly shot down to unbutton his shirt and slide under the soft material and around his body, pulling him closer, as he finally got lower, now resting on his elbows instead of his hands.

He buried his face in the nook of your neck and deeply inhaled your scent, while you hooked your legs behind his ass and pulled him even deeper inside you.

- I missed you so much today... - his voice was almost desperate while he started moving slowly again, but with every snap of his hips, he was gaining speed. - Missed your scent, your touch, your perfect skin, your lips... - if his voice wasn't desperate, his kiss definitely was. It was all-consuming, devouring, and full of longing as if he was trying to make up for lost hours and already preparing and compensating for the next day without you. - Let me hear you, Princess... - he growled when you tried to choke the moan before it reached the surface after a particularly rough move. And after he realized that you were trying to contain yourself again, he did everything in his power to draw louder and more frantic sounds out of you, and he knew exactly how to play your body. He knew all the right places, all the right angles, and he used that knowledge to his advantage mercilessly until you were a moaning, sobbing, and shivering mess.

- Please... - you whimpered, hiding your face in his chest, because you were so desperate for release that you could taste its sweetness in the air.

- Please what...? - you couldn't see it, but you were sure that there was a cocky smile on his face.

- Please Daddy, can I cum on your cock...? - you didn't move your face, so the words came out muffled by Toto's skin. He chuckled and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head.

- Of course, Princess... You can always cum on Daddy's cock... - he placed another soft kiss, this time on your temple. There was an unbelievable contrast between what the lower parts of your bodies were doing, and what the top parts did. His hips were moving at the speed of light, and with every push and pull he was dragging his tip against your G-spot. The loud sounds of skin rhythmically slapping against skin every time he bottomed out when your hips moved up to meet his. Your ankles now were on his lower back, pulling him harder and deeper inside you. All that while he was whispering sweet praises directly into your ear when you were hiding your face out of embarrassment from your own reactions; your fingers were leaving light pink scratches on his back, while your lips closed around a soft patch of the skin under his shoulder, because you were far past moaning, and you needed to occupy your mouth in some other way.

Just before the wave of intense pleasure pulled you into its embrace, you could feel your walls clenching down so hard, it left you with a pleasurable burn that finally pushed you over the edge and your whole body reacted accordingly. Your arms and legs pulled him deeper and closer, and you basically wrapped yourself around him so tightly that you definitely left some marks, yet somehow, he still managed to thrust a few more times before he froze and spilled deep inside you, exactly where he belonged. He pressed his forehead against the top of your head for a long moment, trying to calm himself enough not to collapse as soon as he moved.

- So good... You were so good for me, Princess... - he whispered into your hair, and you almost started purring at his praise. Even though you were slowly regaining control over your own thoughts and body, you didn't let go of Toto, clinging to him for dear life.

- I missed you... - you finally whispered. He moved his arms under you, and he flipped both of you around, so you were now laying on top of him, while he gently stroked your hair and back.

- I know, Schatzi, and I'm sorry... I will make it up to you. - you rested your head on his chest and closed your eyes, soaking in his presence with your whole body.

- I'm not saying that because I want anything in return or to make you feel guilty... I just... I don't like when you're not nearby. I know it's clingy and desperate, but I just... - you huffed instead of actually finishing the sentence.

- I personally think it's adorable... - you could hear a smile in his voice, and you looked up to see it on his face. - And I'm not going anywhere, Princess, I'm all yours... And I can remain yours under the shower. - you chuckled, but he was right... You were both sticky from sweat, and your mixed release was all over your thighs.

- Bath...? - you quietly requested, rubbing your cheek against his skin.

- Yes, we can take a bath instead... - he stood up with you still holding onto him like a very clingy koala bear, and he supported your weight from below, so you wouldn't land on the floor.

Without letting you go, he run a hot bath, undressed and when it was time - he also took off the shirt you were wearing. He got into the giant bathtub first and then held out his hand to assist you.

- Tell me about your day, please... - you requested when you were comfortable sitting in between his legs, with your back against his torso and your eyes closed. He chuckled quietly, but you didn't have to wait long to hear all about the tunnel day. The vibrations of his low, deep voice traveled through your whole body, relaxing you even more than the dangerously hot water, and you had to be careful not to fall asleep in the bath, but even if you did, you knew Toto would take good care of you. 

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

[cyripticchronicler]

Ink and Destiny - Part 3

A/N: Sorry for the wait! I've had a hectic week. Thank you for all the support with my writing, I love you all ahhh.

@lilianelena39 Thank you for asking to be tagged! I hope you like it.

Masterlist

Part one Part two Part four

The days that followed were filled with shy touches and hidden smiles. It’s only been a week since you went on that date with James, and it hasn’t left your mind since. 

After eating, he’d ask you to read to him, you spent the rest of the date muttering the love story to James as he lay on his back, making comments now and then. 

The awkwardness of the first date was long gone, and you found yourself growing comfortable around him. He seemed more comfortable around you too, with the way he gripped your hand tightly in his or the way he relentlessly teased you. 

You were still quiet, barely muttering a few words but James filled in the silence. 

He was holding your hand now, you two having run into each other whilst you were on your way to the owlery. James had decided to ditch Sirius and Remus, claiming you were much nicer than them- earning a giggle from you and a scowl from Sirius. 

“You never finished that book,” James muttered, breaking the peaceful silence. 

“I didn’t know you wanted to know the ending,” You said honestly, James looked genuinely offended and you had to bite back a smile. 

“Of course I do, the letter was heartbreaking.” 

You grinned, “Well if you must know, he proposes again and she accepts.”

He let go of your hand, placing his hands over his ears as if it could erase what he just heard. “Spoilers!” 

You couldn't help the laugh that burst out of you, “The book came out years ago! There are spoilers everywhere!”

“Yes, but I was trying to hint at another date where you read to me again but I guess that’s not possible since you’ve told me the ending.” He grumbles, feigning anger as he reaches for your hand again. 

“Well…I never told you what happened to the others.”

He took the bait, “I am dying to know what happens with the others, so maybe if you’re up to it we could go on another date, say, this Saturday?” 

You pretended to think for a moment, “Saturday, hmm, I’m not sure.”

You both stop at the entrance of the owlery, James pulling you into him slightly. You couldn’t stop the blush painting your cheeks.

He’s never touched you like that before.

“I’ll beg if you want,” He whispers, laughing when you playfully hit his arm, cheeks redder than a tomato. 

“No begging is needed. Saturday is fine.” It left you three days to plan your outfit and mentally prepare. 

James grins triumphantly, following you around the owlery, hand still gently placed on your waist. 

—

You stared at the wobbly heart drawn on the inside of your wrist. You hadn’t noticed when it appeared but your eyes can’t look away. 

Not all soulmates are together romantically, sometimes they are platonic soulmates, hell, on rare occasions they’re enemies who despise each other. 

But there’s a part of you that hopes you and James are romantic soulmates. There’s also a part of you that’s still unsure about him. You two are complete opposites, you’re quiet, he’s loud, and you shrink away at any attention on you whereas James thrives in it. 

“Opposites attract, it’s basic science in the muggle world.” Lily had reassured you when you voiced your concerns. Maybe she was right. Merlin, you hoped she was right. 

But you push those thoughts away for now, noting you only have half an hour to finish getting ready. You’ll talk to James about your thoughts. If there’s one thing you hate most in romance books it is the miscommunication trope. 

You hastily draw a sloppy heart back before returning to your makeup. You keep it simple, applying a couple of coats of mascara and some concealer before adding lipgloss. 

Your outfit is simple, black jeans and the top you feel most comfortable in, paired with a thick coat to keep out the cold weather. 

You reach The Three Broomsticks in no time, relishing in the warmth. Noting James isn’t here yet, you find a secluded table in the corner.

A minute later James walks through the door, nose red from the cold. He perks up when he spots you, smiling warmly and he takes the seat across from you. 

You notice the heart on his wrist as he sits, his coat pulled up like he was staring at it just a moment ago. 

“You always seem to be here earlier than me, perhaps on our second date I’ll arrive an hour early to beat you.” Your heart flutters at the thought of him already planning a second date.

You’re silent, mind racing for something snarky to respond with. James doesn’t seem bothered by your silence, instead asks you if you’d like a butterbeer and you nod your head gratefully. 

You take the time he’s gone to calm your thoughts. It seems as if you haven’t pushed those thoughts from before down far enough.

“The weather has changed drastically since our first date, don’t you think?” James asks as he sits back down. You nod your head. Just two weeks ago you were wearing dresses but now it seems as if it’s going to snow at any moment. 

 “Climate change.” You respond dumbly. 

“I hope you brought the book with you, maybe we could find a quiet place for you to read for me. Or we could head back to the common room and you read to me there.”

You shake your head, “I couldn’t bring it, I didn’t want to risk bending it by putting it in a bag but didn’t want to risk getting it wet either.”

James seemed disappointed, “Later then, when we get back.”

You nod your head dumbly. 

“Are you okay? You’re awfully quiet.” James’s eyes shine with amusement, a hint of concern peeking through. 

“Do you think we’d be happy together?” You blurt, taking a sip of the butterbeer to busy your fidgeting hands. 

“Yes,” James answers honestly, with no hesitation. “Do you not…think we’d be happy together?” He asks rather nervously. 

“We’re quite different from each other.”

He ponders for a moment, “Different isn’t always a bad thing, Love. We balance each other out.”

“Oh.” You’ve never thought of it from that perspective. Awkwardly taking a sip of your drink, you meet James’s eyes. “I just… I’m not used to attention- I hate it actually- and you’re popular so I can’t help but think once everyone finds out we’re dating they’re going to pay more attention to me.”

You’ve only met a couple of times since the first date, and besides the walk to the owlery, it was in secrecy. 

“We don’t have to tell people straight away- whatever this is. It can be our little secret, for now, Love. Is there anything else worrying you?” 

You shake your head. “It’s not very secretive if we’re sitting together in broad daylight in one of the most popular stores in Hogsmeade.”

He drains the rest of his drink, “I guess we’ll have to find somewhere else to go. Come with me.” You don’t miss the glint of mischief in his eyes but go to follow him anyway. 

“Where are we going?” You whisper, desperately trying to catch up as he runs through the snow. He stops a few minutes later and you attempt to catch your breath as you examine your surroundings. 

“Where are we?” You ask when you don’t recognise the place. There's nothing and no one around, just the path you came from.

“You’re not going to murder me are you?” 

James laughs, stalking closer, “I don’t plan on it, no. I’m rather fond of you.” 

Your heart skips a beat, “Even if we’re so different?” 

He nods, a small smile painting his face as he wraps his arms around your waist. “Of course, my Love. It would just be boring if we were so alike.” 

You nod your head in agreement, “It would, wouldn't it?” Ever so slowly, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as one of his hands go to hold your jaw. 

His lips touch yours and like last time they’re soft and warm but unlike before, the kiss is filled with hunger.

He pulls you closer against him and you moan, tangling your fingers in his hair. James immediately deepens the kiss, tongue swiping across yours and you pull away in shock. 

He doesn’t let you go far, nose burrowing into your neck, “I’m sorry, Love. You just taste so good.” 

“Oh,” you whisper, breathless.

He laughs, “Yeah, Oh.”

—-

“That's how it ends?” James asks you, peering up from where his head lays on your lap, your hand threading through his soft curls. 

You’re laying on your bed. The common room was too busy and James stated the boys would just bother them if they went to his room so you shyly offered to read to him in your room.

The girls were all doing their own thing tonight, thankfully giving you and James time alone. 

You immediately thought of other things you could be doing alone but James seemed determined to hear the rest of the book and you weren't sure you wanted to do those activities with him yet. 

“I don’t get why that’s your favourite book,” At your offended look he continues, “Sorry, Love, but that's such a bad ending.”

You laugh incredulously, “It’s not a bad ending! They end up happy and in love.”

“You’re such a hopeless romantic,” He jokes and you roll your eyes. 

“If you’re not a hopeless romantic then I want you to leave right now.” You point to the door playfully and James leans up, face inches from yours. 

“I’ll become a hopeless romantic for you,” He mutters, looking at your lips. 

“Good.” You push him off the bed and he groans in fake pain. “Go to bed, the girls will be back soon and I’ll never hear the end of it if they spot James Potter in my bed.”

“Fine. I want to see you soon though, maybe after the Quiddich game next week?” 

“Won’t you be too busy celebrating the win?” 

“You think we’re going to win?” He asks, happiness and shyness clear in his voice. His cheeks turn red when you nod, “I can think of other ways to celebrate the win with you, Love.” 

You roll your eyes, playfully pushing his shoulder. “Go.”

He taps his lips and you can’t help but blush. You mean for it to be a quick peck but James has other ideas, tilting your head as he kisses you deeply. 

He places an open-mouthed kiss on your neck before leaving with a quick wink. 

As soon as the door closes you let out a squeal, kicking your feet as you hug your pillow to your chest tightly. 

“I heard that.” James’s voice resonates through the door. 

Your cheeks flush, “Go away.” 

His footsteps fade and you relax into your bed.

It’s only until the next morning that you notice the words on your wrist.

I’m kicking my feelings and squealing about you too. Not so different after all.

[ladykailitha]

Stranger Things Fic Master List

Hello! I am updating my Master List so that it's easier to find what you're looking for.

About Me

She/Her. I won't put my age up here because I'm ADHD riddled and will leave the same age up there forever so...just know I joined in 2013.

Long time fanfic writer. I've been writing since 2012. I’ve written for 9 different fandoms though my first and most prolific is that of BBC’s Sherlock clocking out at 62 published stories and an untold number of stories that are unpolished and unpublished. My next prolific and most recent is Stranger Things. I got pulled into Stranger Things by way the Steddie phenomenon that exploded after July by a few different people, but mostly Kedreeva who I started following for Good Omens (which is another fandom I’ve written for).

I love tagging games I just have such anxiety about them (before not having enough people to tag, now afraid of leaving the wrong person out) so I don’t really do them. I want to so badly though. Sorry! Still love everyone who thinks of me though.

I enjoy ask games because I LOVE info dumping. Someone makes a comment or says something nice in the tags and I want to just overflow them with love and information. But I’m never sure how that will be received so I don’t (anxiety really is horrible).

My inbox is always open. Come drop me a line, gush about your favorite story, or just wave hello.

I am pro-ship, pro-back button, pro-kinktomato (your kink is not my kink and that's okay; essentially). I have personal squicks, but I'm not going to call out someone who likes them. I will, if I feel strongly about it, make my own post about it, however. Like Eddie's age and Steve's style. But I won't say anything to you, if I don't like what you post.

I will block, report (if necessary), and delete hate of any kind. Directed at me or anyone else. I leave anonymous asks on, because I'm shy and sometimes like the option to say something without it being linked to this blog and wouldn't deny that of someone else. But hate in my inbox will never be answered.

Every Wednesday, I do WIP Wednesday where I will post which stories I'm working on that week and you can send me asks for your favorites so they get done faster. It's lots of fun so come join me each week.

I have a tag list for each story, but I also have a personal permanent list that I've curated from those that have either requested it or have been such fans that it seems remiss not to tag them in new things. I do have a hard limit of FIFTY per story and yes, that does include those on my permanent list. You can be asked to be removed from the list at any time, I won't be hurt by it. People's feelings change and evolve and if that means they don't want to be tagged, that's fine.

I now has a Discord server where we talk about my stories and you can get previews of my story ideas, help me out with plot problems (be my rubber duck!) and other great perks. Send me a DM if you want the link.

My masterlist only includes my Stranger Things fics, but the tag #ladykailitha writes will have some of my The Sandman headcanons, ficlets and story ideas, too. Everything else is on my AO3.

Story Key

If it has an AO3 tag after the summary, it's been beta'ed and posted on that site. No tag? Not up there yet.

If there is a (+) after the title that means I think it has the potential for a longer story.

If there is an (*) after the title it means I have expanded it to a full fic and the link to said fic will be the post itself.

Any thing brackets () will be major ship (usually Steddie), number of words, and rating. If there is no ship, that means there wasn't one.

The rating will usually be T for teen but there are a few that aren't. G is general audience. M is mature (this usually sex, but also sometimes dark themes) and E is explicit. I don't think I have anything that's rated E, but if I do it's sex.

Completed Stories

Ficlets (Less Than 1000 Words)

MORP (Steddie 233 G)- Steve hosts backwards prom for the misfits and freaks of Hawkins that wouldn’t fit in at the regular prom (not limited to the LGBTQ kids, but that was the main draw).

El Hopper, Avenging Fury (Steddie 249 T)- Steve dies in the aftermath of defeating Vecna and El has some opinions on that.

April Fools (Steddie 288 G)- Steve and Eddie gets couples t-shirts from Dustin. Eddie is amused, Steve not so much.

Erica and the Carebear Movie (308 G)- Missing scene: Mike and Dustin go to Erica to get her to play with Hellfire and meet more resistance then they expected. All because of a movie. Or author finds out Carebears 2 came out the night of the game/session and makes it Mike and Dustin’s problem.

Feral Steve (340 T)- Steve being rescued from having gone feral at the end by everyone.

Cat Dads (Steddie 444 T)- Eddie brings home a box full of kittens only intending to keep one, only Steve falls in love with one of the other kittens.

Steve and the Stick of Life- (Steddie 451 T)- Steve makes a deal with an other to protect those he loves, the catch? Every time he protects someone it burns up a little bit of his life, shortening it.

Smooth Operator Steve- (Steddie 500 T)Steve decides to ask Eddie out. He cranks the charm up to eleven.

Sun-kissed and Moon-glow (Steddie 525 words G)- Rockstar!Eddie and Model!Steve on the red carpet. Steve gets asked about the grumpy one being in love with the sunshine one. Steve’s response is surprising as it is thoughtful. (Steddie 525 words G)

Sad Eddie Time (Steddie 683 T)- Eddie realizes that Steve’s been giving him adoring looks when he sees that look on Steve’s face with his new girlfriend, Becca. (Ends happily)

The Rake and the Knight (Steddie 745 T) - Steve and Eddie are both gay, but hide it in very different ways. Steve sleeps through the female population of Hawkins High looking for a connection. A rake of the highest order. Eddie charms his way out of dating by being so chivalrous (having them home by nine, only kissing their hand) that they tend to break it off with him as they seek for more.

Target (Steddie 702 T)- Steve has something to prove to Eddie. A boy who has been running all his life from people who hate gays. Eddie worries that dating Steve will put a target on Steve’s back. Too bad Steve’s into that. AO3

Thirteen (Steddie 803 T)- Steve comes out to Robin, Nancy, and Eddie, saying he’s known since he was thirteen he liked boys. All thanks to a boy that was kind to him his first day of middle school. Eddie hears the story with some shock and more than a little awe. He was that boy. AO3

Love is Loving the Person For Who They Are (Steddie 871 G) - Just Eddie tell Steve he’s perfect the way he is, no changes required. AO3

Short Fics (1000-5000 Words)

Steve’s Bad Date (Steddie 1046 G)- Steve goes on a date with another guy to a haunted house, the date ends badly when Jeremy pushes Steve at the actor to get away. The actor gives him the fake ax to chase his date. From that one TikTok video. AO3

Whatever You Need, I’ve Got It- (Steddie 1300 T) Steve just picking up whatever instrument Corroded Coffin needs to fill out a song and suddenly he's on tour with them and Eddie still isn't sure how it happened.

I’ll Be Your Knight (Steddie 1336 T)- After Eddie is back home from the hospital, he hears a strange sound outside his window. Click Strike Fwoosh Clack. Repeated, over and over again. AO3

The Rockstar and The Teacher (Steddie 1547 T)- Steve and Eddie have been together for a decade, but due to Eddie being a rockstar and Steve a teacher, they aren’t out to the public, Steve isn’t even out at all because of the stigma around gay men and children. But it all comes crashing down when someone decides to take the choice away from in the most brutal way possible. Steve goes into crisis mode and comes out swinging.

All My Firsts Belong to You (Steddie 1655 G)- Steve finds out he’s the side piece for his first boyfriend when said boyfriend posts his engagement to a woman on social media. A boyfriend none of his friends are aware he had. Eddie finds him on the verge of a breakdown and they learn some important things about each other. AO3

A Gentle Bloom- (Steddie 1842 T) The love between Eddie and Steve blooms, as Steve blossoms into the complete person he never knew he needed to be.

Skate Circles Around Everyone (Steddie 1907 T)- Steve can’t skate. Well. That’s not strictly true. He hasn’t skated since his dad decided it was feminine and Harrington boys don’t skate. So he’s a tad embarrassed by the fact that not only does Eddie skate well he should be out there winning gold medals and shit. But Eddie decides to teach Steve how to skate instead of showing off on the ice.

The Promise (Steddie 1915 G) - Eddie is caught looking at Steve’s bookshelf, but when Steve shows him his favorite book, a little note flutters out of it. Intrigued Eddie has Steve tell him the story. A story that as it goes on, Eddie recognizes. Because Steve’s first kiss? Is Eddie’s too. AO3

Love is Kind (Steddie 1942 T)- Steve finds out his girlfriend was only with him because she thought he was rich. And breaks up with her on Valentine's Day. He's got everything laid out for the perfect date, so he calls Eddie to help him eat it. Turns out planning the perfect date is easy when you learn that love is supposed to be kind. AO3

Crossroads (Steddie 2049 words G) - Steve has a choice. Either go back inside with his mom and give up everything he has fought for in the last five years and live the life his parents want. Or he can runaway with Eddie. Just get in his van and drive forever. AO3

It’s Just a Kiss (Steddie 2420 T)- Steve loves it when Eddie talks. He gets so excited. But Steve keeps getting distracted by a place on Eddie neck, that he just wants to taste. Normally Steve impulse control is iron clad. Not today. AO3

Telling it Like it Is (Steddie 2884 T)- Jonathan and Steve don’t even like each other. But Jonathan knows that there are something that only he can say that Steve would accept. He just didn’t think it would spiral like this. AO3

Fake Boyfriend (Steddie 3060 T)- After most of the older teens have gone off to college, Eddie goes over to Steve's to hang out. When he finds Steve on the phone with one of his co-workers, he tells Steve to pretend Eddie is his boyfriend to get the guy to back off via notes on his notebook. It works better than he could possibly dream as the more Steve describes his "boyfriend" the more it sounds real. AO3

Soft (Steddie 3224 T)- Steve gets Eddie a necklace with the money that he had put down on ring for his very newly ex-girlfriend. Everyone around Eddie is telling him it’s an act of love. Eddie isn’t so sure. AO3

I See You Shiver With Antic--ipation! (Steddie 3495 T)- Eddie and Robin are taking their friends to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show where they all dress up. Only thing don't go quite according to plan when Steve gets self conscious about his costume. Now it's a race to get the belle to the ball, Eddie has just the fairy godmother in mind, his old friend Janice former Hellfire Club member and now makeup artist. 

We Love Steve (Steddie 3700 T)- As far as love confessions go, that couldn’t have gone worse for Eddie. Especially since it ends with Steve crying in his arms because he thought the confession was a joke or prank. Because no one would want Steve. He’s bullshit. Eddie tells the party and they decide to throw a surprise party. His birthday would be best, but an “We Love Steve” party would work in a pinch. The problem? No one knows when Steve’s birthday is. Cue Eddie to the rescue. Holy Shit, Steve’s birthday is Halloween. AO3

New Year’s Eve (Steddie 3816 words M)- Sequel to The Magic of Christmas Steve’s Christmas present to Eddie makes for a wonderful night out, Steve’s mom, be damned.

The People That See You (Steddie 4178 T)- Eddie makes a stupid comment about Steve trying to impress his old friends, only for Steve to overhear it. Now Eddie has to fix it and he doesn’t know how. Only there is someone in his friends that use to hang out with Steve in middle school. Cue Brian (the unnamed CC member) spilling the beans on Steve Harrington. AO3

Exit Eddie Pursued By Steve (Steddie 4788 M)- Eddie sees Steve in the ugly step-sister ballgown and likes what he sees, so Steve invites him backstage after the play. Things take an interesting turn when Steve suddenly marks Eddie as his boyfriend. Every doubt, every insecurity Eddie has is almost instantly foiled by Steve’s inner romantic. AO3

Mid-length Fics (5000-15000 Words)

A Valentine’s Day to Remember- Steve hates Valentine’s day. It’s bad enough when you’re in a relationship. But way worse when you’re single. Enter Eddie to rescue. Steve’s POV (Steddie 5276 T): AO3 Eddie’s POV (Steddie 5032 M): AO3

Meet Me On the Dance Floor (Steddie 5578 T)- Steve, Robin, and Eddie take Will to his first gay bar after he turns 18 and awakens somethings for Eddie when he finds out Pretty Boy Steve is bisexual. And doesn’t dance. Well he does, but like a drunk muppet. Mike finds out and learns some pretty deep shit about himself he didn’t he had buried. Deleted Scene AO3

The Places We Hide (Steddie 6667 T) - A series of moments where Steve wants to be found. And learns to ask for help. AO3

Sir Steve, Knight Protectorate (Steddie 6733 words T)- After the events surrounding Will Byers and his return to life, Steve has decided he can't control anything in his life but school, so he seeks to put a stop to the bullying. Cue Eddie getting heart-eyes over popular King Steve protecting his little sheepies. So he decides Steve needs a knew title. Sir Steve, Knight Protectorate will work just fine.

The Subtleties of Steve Harrington (Steddie 6960 T)- Summary: Steve has a problem. One he really doesn’t understand. The people closest to him think he’s straight. Well, there are few exceptions. He just wasn’t expecting Eddie and Robin to be in Camp Straight Steve. In a series of vignettes about the people closest to Steve and Eddie finding out that maybe Steve is subtler than they thought. 

Staking My Claim (Steddie 6962 T)- Steve gets rescued twice by the Corroded Coffin boys when someone seeks to stake his claim on Steve. Steve wakes up under the tender of the Corroded Coffin boys and finds out that family can be found when blood relatives fail you.  AO3

Everything I Ever Wanted (Steddie 9698 words M) - Sequel to Not All That Glitters is Gold. A series of vignettes about things Steve wanted in the first story that he wanted that he was able to achieve through his relationship with Eddie.

What Do Shovels Dig? Graves (Steddie 9711 words T)- After Steve has breakdown when Jonathan comes to talk to him thinking it’s another shovel talk. When Jonathan finds out that other than his family and El, everyone has given Steve a variation of the talk, he runs to Eddie. And between the Byers, El, and Eddie, they force the Party to realize the harm they’ve caused and makes them apologize, too.

Ser Stephan of Harring’s Town (Steddie 10222 T)- The gang finally convinces Steve to join the next campaign. But to help him out Eddie and Dustin create the character based on Steve, their own beloved tank and barbarian. They learn more about the hidden depth of Steve. Extra

Little Runaway (Steddie 10,500 M)- Steve’s on the run from his dad when outs himself as gay. So Dustin turns to the least likely of help. Eddie Munson. Eddie doesn’t even like Steve. But he’s a Munson and Munsons’ have a thing for strays. Extra AO3

The Eddie Munson Guide to Dating an Oblivious Jock (Steddie LuMax 11150) - After Vecna Max is having trouble convincing Lucas to date her again so she turns to the one member of the party who is dating a jock: Eddie Munson. He breaks down his tips for dating an oblivious jock. Bold = the guide. Italicized = their conversation. Standard = examples Eddie is giving Max for each step. AO3

Sweet Surrender (Steddie 11570 words M)- After the events in Paper Hearts, Eddie and Steve navigate their first date, their first time, Eddie's friends, Steve's ex, and prom! It's a lot, but they'll make it through.

Across a Crowded Room (Steddie 12840 words M)- Modern, no monsters AU. After they all graduated from high school the older teens drifted to other parts of the country. And while Steve and Eddie have made short trips to see each other, usually with the whole, they really haven't spent much time in the same room in years. That all changes when Eddie is able to spend a week in Chicago with Steve and Robin. But when Eddie sees Steve for the first time in years, he gets scared. Will have the courage to walk across that crowded room to be with Steve?

Long Fics (15000+ Words)

The Magic of Christmas (Steddie 17012 T)- Businessman Steve hires artist Eddie to do painting of the Party’s D&D characters for Christmas. Watch as over the next six months as the two men fall in love.

Paper Hearts (Steddie 17027 T)- Hawkins High is selling paper hearts to help raise for senior prom. $3 for red romantic hearts and $1 for pink friendship hearts. Steve hasn't dated anyone since the horrific breakup with Nancy on Halloween and so he decides that he's going to send pink hearts to senior girls who wouldn't normally get any hearts at all. When Eddie hears about this he can't help be intrigued. It goes against his very well curated Munson Doctrine. But as events keep throwing them together, Eddie learns there is more to King Steve then meets the eye.

A Love Connection- (Steddie 18832 words T)Steve has tried everything under the sun to find someone to truly connect with, so he gives up after a particularly horrible date. Then Chrissy introduces him to her favorite game show "Love Connection". When Chrissy and Robin apply for him, they don't think they'll accept him, but he does. His suitors are Billy Hargrove, Tommy Hagan, and Eddie Munson. Will Steve crash and burn again or will his connection be there waiting for him?

Around the World (Steddie 19010 words M)- After a grueling tour, Steve wants nothing more than take a vacation with his boyfriend and just be regular people for three months. Only Eddie isn't just anyone, he's the frontman for the world's most popular heavy metal band. So Chrissy and Robin come long to act as beards (provided they keep their hands off of each other long enough). Join the fruity four as they travel the world looking for the spooky, the kooky, and the alltogether weird. SEQUEL TO ICARUS READ THAT HERE FIRST.

If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too? (Steddie 19435 M)- Steve realizes after the aftermath of Vecna that he’s in love with Eddie. When he finds out that he was trying to get enough money to get to the Ozzy Osborne/Metallica concert in Indy in a week, he decides to woo Eddie via the most important concert of Eddie’s young life.

Batshit Soulmates (Steddie 20590 words T)- Soulmates were granted to a vast majority of the human population. And of those that didn’t have them, the best they could figure out was that they didn’t need soulmates because they were the best humanity had to offer. Of those that had soulmarks they were related in someway. A pair of different colored hearts. Matching flowers. Things like that. And when you met your soulmate they glowed the same color and felt warm to the touch. Steve hasn’t met his yet. All that changes when Eddie Munson is accused of murdering Chrissy Cunningham. (Just an excuse to have Steve and Eddie fighting off the bats together back to back, really)

Sweet Home Indiana (Steddie 20825 words T)- Sweet Home Alabama AU. Eddie is a successful tattoo artist in Seattle and is engaged to be married to Chrissy. Only there is one problem. Well, technically three. You see, back before the Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage was a right and not a privilege Eddie had gotten married in a couple of different states to different people. But now that's it's legal, he's a bigamist and he has to get his exes to divorce him. Which is easy enough for two of the three, not so much for the third. You see the third just isn't just any ex, it's the ex. Steve Harrington. So now he has to go down to Hawkins and try to convince the person he thought he was going to spend his life with to divorce him. Something much easier said then done, especially when Eddie finds himself falling back in love.

In the Midnight Hour (Steddie 20985 T)- Steve thinks that Eddie’s night visits are Vecna toying with his mind. Until one night Steve comes to the starling realization that Eddie IS back and it’s up them to save him. 

Grief (A Friend Indeed) (Steddie 22212 T) - Eddie and Wayne have to go back to Kentucky when Eddie's grandmother (and Wayne and Al's mother) passes. Steve comes along when Eddie suggests that he would feel better if he came. Along the way they learn about each other's pasts and find out that they are each other's future.

The Harrington Pattern (Steddie 26980 words T)- Steve is a secret history nerd who likes to sew. By example he teaches the younger members of the party that not conforming to societal standards can look different for everyone.

Star Child (Steddie 27100 words M)-Steve Harrington formerly of the boy band The Kings, is set to co-headline with Corroded Coffin Indiana’s first Love Loud concert as they are all hometown boys from Hawkins. Steve suggests a duet with frontman Eddie Munson. Low Key in Love, by The Struts and Paris Jackson. Sparks fly as Steve tries to court the frontman Low Key. But this is Steve, when has he ever been low key? Meta Extra Scene

Never Hold Back Your Step (Steddie 31065 words T)- Continuing after “Can Anybody See Me?” Steve is struggling after the play trying to navigate his new relationship with Eddie, dealing with Nancy finding out he’s gay (and her bad reaction to that info) and just trying to keep it together. He graduates from high school but Eddie doesn’t. He doesn’t get into college and now he’s stuck trying to pretend to be “King Steve” so that his spunky new co-worker Robin Buckley doesn’t find out he’s gay. And oh yeah what’s this about Russians in the mall? Steve is cursed, he just has to be. The Boy With a Bat Book 2.

Oh, For a Muse of Fire!- (Enemies to Lovers Steddie 34275 T) Steve just needs to pass one class in order to graduate from college and get his art teaching degree. Live Figure Drawing. A class as far as he is concerned is cursed having failed it a total of three times. Only now Joyce Byers is teaching the class with Eddie Munson as her model. He’s going to fail, he just knows it. Especially since Eddie is more than a little hostile and Steve can’t figure out why. AO3

All My Roads Lead Back to You (Steddie 37530 T)- It’s been twenty years since Vecna was defeated and Eddie and Steve have gone their separate ways. They are suddenly thrown back together when their kids join the same band. Will they finally realize that what they’d been looking for their whole lives is each other or will they miss out on true love? Again.

Not All That Glitters is Gold (Steddie 37890 words M)- Steve is an escort with Starcourt Services, who provides omegas to alphas with the money for all sorts of accommodations: arm candy at social events, rut servicing, multiples (including orgies), and sometimes, just sex. Steve is highly sought after, but after a run in with Corroded Coffin frontman Eddie Munson at a fundraiser for a US senator, his world is turned upside down. No monsters/omegaverse AU. Rockstar Eddie/Sex Worker Steve. Mature (especially in later chapters). BTS Meta Further Meta

Can Anybody See Me? (Steddie 39594 M)- I just wanted to write a fic where someone notices that Steve isn’t the same person anymore and see him and the changes he’s made. Because I hate how everyone dogs on Steve for being the dumb jock in seasons 3 and 4. * * First Book in the “The Boy with A Bat” series

Well Met by Moonlight (Steddie 41570 words M)- Steve is the Harrington Pack alpha. Eddie is the newly bitten vampire outcast. They are the most unlikely duo but somehow they find a way to make it work. Especially when strange happenings keep occurring in their small town. Who can they trust?

Icarus (Steddie 52895 words M)- Eddie and Corroded Coffin make it big and Dustin is their biggest fan. Or was. His new favorite band is The Fallen. They’re very theatrical and it drives Eddie up the wall. Until Dustin drags him to a concert that will not only change his mind. But rock his world.

Royal Pain (Steddie 58461 T) - No Monster Modern AU. Eddie and his band, Corroded Coffin, have a steady gig at a bar in Indy where they play every weekend. Eddie's life takes a left turn when his regular tattoo artist, Max Mayfield, moves to New York with her boyfriend Lucas Sinclair, newly traded to the New York Knicks. Now needing a new tattoo artist, Jeff recommends "Royal Pain", which even Max agrees is a good shop. On arrival, Eddie is shocked to find Steve is the shop's artist. They hit it off, and slowly move from the barest of acquaintances to boyfriends. Meta 

AO3 Exclusive Stories

Stories that aren't here on Tumblr.

In order of published:

Eddie’s Big Stevie Rescue- (Steddie 3647 words T) Eddie goes out to a bar in Indy to blow off some steam. But the bar is lame and he decides to leave. But before he can get even two steps from his booth, Steve Harrington literally falls into his lap. A drugged Steve that is need of help. Eddie to the rescue.

This Wound Is More Than Skin Deep- (Steddie 4126 words T) Eddie and Steve are struggling post Vecna with their wounds and Eddie blows up at Steve and sets off a series of events that changes how they see each other.

My Sweetheart- (Steddie 1448 words T) Steve breaks down after hearing Eddie call someone else ‘sweetheart’ and revelations are had.

Bravery- (Steddie 3682 words M) Eddie is a virgin and wants Steve to take it. Steve agrees provided Eddie agrees to be his boyfriend. Eddie agrees.

Home- (Steddie 3250 words M) Eddie finds Steve naked in his bed, so he does the decent thing and sleeps on the couch. In the morning there are revelations in and out of the bedroom.

Love Story Alibi- (Steddie 4810 words T) Steve decides to get Eddie off in the most unhinged way imaginable. At a town hall meeting, lying about... well pretty much everything. Almost.

Works In Progress

The Caged Bird Still Sings- (Steddie M)- Steve has hit rock bottom, after his dad catches him making out with his boyfriend on the family sofa, he gets kicked out and loses his job. Determined to at least have one more thrill before he spends the rest of his life in his car, he heads to the Hideout to get drunk off his ass and maybe tempt someone into bed so he can have a bed to sleep in for the night. Instead he catches the eye of Hawkins native and metal frontman Eddie Munson who decides he’s going to take care of him. Sugar Baby!Steve and Sugar Daddy!Eddie. Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10  Pt 11 Pt 12

The Hellfire Exotic Club- (Steddie 32252 words E) The Hellfire Exotic Club was the hottest ticket around. The best male and female exotic dancers in the whole god damn state with each night a deadly sin. When owner, Eddie loses his Envy because the guy fucked the wrong person, he has a week to find a replacement. But when Steve auditions with Julia Michael's Heaven, it turns the entire club on its head. Now Eddie must deal with the usual nut jobs trying to close him down, dancers not liking the new changes, and his former Envy causing trouble, all this on top of having budding feelings for Steve. But if Eddie is anything, he's resilient and stubborn. Come hell or high water, him and his club is going to come out of this just fine. Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12

Of Butterflies and Backstrokes- (Steddie 32435 words T) When a freak accident at his third Olympics left him with migraines and a fear of deep water, Steve thought his Olympic dreams were dead—until delinquent Eddie Munson arrived at his pool to do community service. Steve witnesses Eddie's swimming talent and realizes his dreams don't have to be over. Now it's a race to get Eddie Olympic ready in two years. Steve's going for gold, but Eddie might have other interests in mind. Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11

The Au Pair Boy (Steddie T)- Eddie Munson is a in bind, set to go on a three month reunion tour, he is in need of nanny for his twin girls Janice and Joan since his partner, Ethan blew up their lives a year ago. Enter nanny extraordinaire, Steve Harrington. Both men struggle with treading the line between boss/nanny and their strong attraction to each other. Will Eddie learn to trust again? Will Steve realize that he was always meant to be right there by Eddie's side? Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3

Find My Shade By the Moonlight (Steddie T)- In the fifth season of the landmark MTV series Fear, they take five college age adults and drop them into the ghost town that is now Hawkins, IN. After the earthquake in 1986 the town was evacuated due to a leak at the now defunct Hawkins Lab. Steve, Eddie, Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan must now complete tasks or dares over the next two nights, tapping out before completing the task forfeits your chance at $5000. All five will be tested to their limits, but will any of them come out of the experience unchanged? (Steddie T)  Pt 1 ON HIATUS

Snippets, Headcanons, and Rants

Plot Ideas

Steve’s Meltdown- Steve gets overstimulated when everyone is calling his name. Ideally a great idea for a comic, not sure I’ll do anything with it.

The Cutting Edge AU- I’ve gone into detail on this, so I’ve put up the link here. Steddie

Munson: Unsolved- An idea I had for an no monster AU here. Steddie

*The Fallen- Steve in a metal band like Sleep Token were the band wears masks. Steddie

Can You Speak Truth to Power- Medieval AU. King Steve and jester Eddie. Everyone else is here too. 

Continued Medieval AU- The masquerade at the end of the story.

*Omegaverse- My idea for a Steddie omegaverse if I were to do one.

*Season 1 AU- King Steve turns over a new leaf and forces his friends to do the same.

*Strip Club AU- Eddie runs Hellfire Strip Club and is their top dancer. In comes Steve and rocks his world.

Stardust AU- My rundown of what I would do with the ST cast in a Stardust AU.

Feral Steve and Kas Eddie- just an AU I had that had Steve in the coma at the end instead of Eddie and Eddie waiting by his bedside.

Midsummer’s AU- Steve is a foundling of Titania and Oberon. Yup that Titania and Oberon.

Code Pink- What started out a cute little idea for a one-start ballooned in what will probably be a full series at this point.

*Werewolf!Steve and Vampire!Eddie World Build- my write up on the world of my latest AU I’m working on. It’s going to be fun! Let’s hope I actually get vamp sexy times, because my two other attempts at Vampire!Eddie(Kas technically) have been angst fests so...yeah!

Scarlet Pimpernel AU- Just a little idea about Steve as Sir Percy by day and the Scarlet Pimpernel by night.

Vecna’s No Good, Bad Time Travel Trip- Henry Creel tries to time travel to make sure he isn’t defeated. Only he keeps making it worse for himself. Like way worse.

The Dating Game- Steve is the contestant and Billy, Tommy, and Eddie are his choices. This is Steddie, so of course he picks Eddie.

Twofer- Secret Garden AU and *Steve is a tattoo artist AU.

In Plain Sight Crossover- Eddie goes into WITSEC after Vecna and he and Wayne gets new names. All is going well, the Party has mourned and moved on for the most part. Jimmy (Eddie) and Nate (Wayne) are happily in their new lives. Until Tommy Munson comes back and kidnaps Wayne because he thinks Wayne is in WITSEC due to hiding lots of money. Eddie has to contact Steve for the ransom money.

Famous!Steve and Rockstar!Eddie- Steve is former reality star and Eddie is frontman for Corroded Coffin. Eddie meets Steve at a club concert and finds out that his “fans” bullied him for not dressing like a metalhead and refuses to perform. The next day Robin shows Steve the video of the rant Eddie gave before walking off stage and Steve realizes it was about him.

Little Black Book Snippet- Eddie uses his little black book he keeps for his drug deals (for accounting purposes mainly) to get Steve out of a jam involving a same sex honey trap.

5+1 Steddie Fic- Five times someone walks in on Steve and one of the older teens thinking they’re having sex but they aren’t and the one time everyone walks in on Steve and Eddie actually having sex.

*Reconnecting AU- Steve and Eddie’s kids are part of a rock band together. Harry Munson on guitar and Edie Harrington on drums. When the kids realize their dads are each other’s biggest what ifs, they decide to set them up.

Stevie Slut Hour- Steve likes to cruise gay bars dressed as someone else, Eddie meets him during one of these tours and doesn’t know it’s Steve. He finds out later, though.

Pride & Prejudice AU: Steve is Darcy, Eddie is Lizzy and the gang’s all here, too.

Insane Asylum Steve: Steve has a breakdown as disassociates the plot of the TV series, with the cast making appearances in Steve’s life in different ways.

Gran Turismo AU- Steve and the rest of the Scoops Troupe is the best pit crew in NASCAR but his world is turned upside down when the owners stage a stunt season of players of the game Gran Turismo. Eddie is assigned to Steve’s crew. Enemy to Lovers, speed run. ;)

*Sweet Home Indiana- Eddie finds himself in a bit of bind when he goes to marriage license to marry to Chrissy and they tell him he’s still married to the guys he married before gay marriage was legalized a cross the country. So now it’s a race against time to get divorced so he can marry Chrissy. Two of them are easy, the third one? Not so much. Steve Harrington isn’t just any ex. He’s the one that Eddie always regretted letting go of. Sweet Home Alabama AU.

LadyHawke AU- How I would do a Ladyhawke Steddie and keep it medieval.

*Sugardaddy!Eddie and Sugarbaby!Steve AU- How I would put my own spin on this AU for Steddie.

Steve’s Worst Nightmare-  Steve thinks he’s living the dream when Eddie tells him that everyone hates him. Only maybe things aren’t as they seem. (angst with a happy ending)

Capt. Eddie Munson and the Star- Pirate Eddie falls in love with a star and proves that stars CAN love you back. A bit PotC/Stardust crossover. A tiny bit.

Bouncer!Eddie and Drunk!Steve- Steve gets too drunk to function and Eddie takes him home. Base off a pic I saw on Facebook.

Steve’s Rizz v Eddie’s Filter- They both win. Steve hasn’t been laid in awhile and Eddie offers to be the willing participate, feat. their friends taking bets.

*Olympic Steddie- Steve trains Eddie in swimming for the Olympics.

Dead Boy Detective AU- Eddie as Charles and Steve as Edwin and sprinkle in the rest of the cast for funsies and go to town.

Steve’s Rewind- Steve’s family has a rewind device that allows them to change an event. He’s done it twice and now he’s going to do it again. Angsty AF.

Noir AU- Steve is a PI, Robin his partner, Nancy is the femme fatale, and Jonathan and Hopper are cops.

Mafia AU- Eddie got a mobster off of a conspiracy to commit murder charge and is now under his protection.

FB Fanfic Prompt- I got enemies to lovers, historical, and time travel. Yeah, baby, let’s go!

Amnesia AU- Steve vanishes and Eddie is blamed. Two years later Eddie meets Aaron. Only Aaron looks suspiciously like Steve but he doesn’t remember anything since he woke up in hospital with no wallet no keys, and no memories.

The Last Dragon Slayer- Sir Steven is the last dragon slayer hunting down the dragon that killed his mother. Edgewraith is a dragon he’s sent to kill.

Steve is Powered- Steve’s mom was a test subject of Brenner’s and got her abilities.

Serial Killer Steve and PI Eddie Munson- Steve is a killer of serial killers, Eddie is a former suspect of one of his murders turned Private Investigator. When Steve turns to writing after he retires. Eddie figures it out, but the books are sooo good. So he lets it slide, until Steve needs his help.

Headcanons

Department of Energy- An ask I got from a nonny about Steve’s dad being Brenner and my headcanon that Sr Harrington is HEAD of the DoE.

Halloween Costumes- Eddie, Steve, and Robin dress up as the main trio from Star Wars.

Steve and Robin’s Tattoos- my thoughts on what those might be.

Eddie and Steve Arm Wrestle- I had been seeing a couple posts and a comic, saying/showing Eddie being obliterated in an arm wrestling match with Steve. And this was my headcanon on that. Eddie would cheat. :D

Corroded Coffin Headcanons- just my thoughts on the boys in the band.

Eddie and Nancy are Cousins- in which I propose Eddie isn’t Nancy’s half brother, he’s her cousin.

Rants

Steve’s Style- Just a little rant I did about how people keep trying to change Steve’s style to fit with Eddie.

Dear ST Fandom- My reminder to fans to put the Corroded Coffin boys in post season 4 fix-its and give a reason Eddie is at Steve’s instead of home with Wayne. (People don't this much anymore but it was a problem when I joined.)

Eddie’s Age and Ships- My rant on how we forget that Eddie is much older than most of rest of the cast and how that reflects on the ships.

Character vs Author Knowledge- This was about "The Harrington Pattern" but it extends to all stories really.

Would Steve Stay w/ Max or Eddie at the Hospital?- A rant I went because someone was stupid in the steddie tag.

Steve isn’t the douchebag everyone claims he is- just my thoughts on season 1

Takes Me Out- just things that send me out a fic.

Eddie’s Hair and the Unnamed Freak- just me ranting about people always putting Eddie’s hair up in fics and the Dougie problem.

Eddie’s Buzzcut and Steve’s Connection to Hawkins- what it says on the tin

Fandom Wank- My thoughts on shit going down in the Stranger Things fandom at the time (Jan. 2024)

Eddie’s Physicality- I rant about how the fandom seems to think Eddie is a clumsy, weakling, outdoor hating nerd and I how I strongly disagree.

Closeted Steve- Just a little rant I had on Steve’s sexuality

Steve is a HAM Nerd- My headcanon that Steve loves history, art, and music. HAM!

[nightdustfallen]

Finally made a ref sheet lol if any of ya'll needed a bit more of a full view to draw em here it is, as well as the accurate non-shadowed colors By the way, you can use the tag "nightly.art" to see all of my art if you dont want to dig thru all of the other art (of lovely and talented people) that i regularly reblog

Which i suppose also segways into an introductory pinned post? perhaps

Well im Nightdust!! my main fursona is this guy above me, he is called Nightdust Fallen, he is a breed of a husky and a wolf, making him extremely fluffy and puffy! The reason for his name is by the fact that (in my head canon or lore) he came from a bunch of fallen space star dust, hence why he likes space so much and staring at the stars, he also has some sort of ice magic i havent fully fleshed out yet, one thing i can say tho is that when he sneezes, he does it softly and he puffs out small ice snowflakes and can freeze things he touches he is also supposed to wear glasses like me but i suck at drawing those and forgot to include them here anyway so

He is very shy, doesnt talk much but is very protective of his very close friends and would do anything to protect them and make sure they're safe, he is a femboy (of course), enjoys listening to calm relaxing music and high octane electronic music at times, is a gamer, likes cuddling up in bed and i think that's it

It also doubles up as a self description of myself so yeah lol Still tho feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions or anything, with that said onwards to more personal stuff

I enjoy drawing obviously, but i also enjoy cooking stuff and origami, i play a lot of roblox usually to pass time but a game i really got into is "Voices of the Void" i really recommend but it's not for everyone, i like the game's concept and how detailed the space is there. For some reason, a lot of the time i am cold, my hands, feet, nose and limbs overall are very cold which is why i thought about giving my oc some ice magic thing. I am taken, in a relationship with my cutie bunny bf, and my sexuality is bisexual. As said before i do not talk much since im not the social type and usually freeze up or dont know what to say, hence why sometimes i take a long time to respond to something or my response is "dry" or not full of much emotion since i dont really know what to say or feel like im annoying if i talk too much. If you read thru all of that and get here then reply with the word bean so i know you're a true one hehe. I also often wait for others to start the conversation rather than me starting since i again, feel like i would bother the other person or like i could distract them if they are doing something

Anyways i believe that is pretty much it, thank for reading all of this if you did, and i probably didnt mention lots of details i should have but they arent coming to my mind right now

[elvisabutler]

spark ( chapter two: prayer )

fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: elvis presley ( fameless big daddy electrician/handyman ) x female original character word count: 10570ish so just shy of 11k this time. warnings: talk of children. a bit of negative self talk. infidelity in some form. elvis in glasses. religion playing an at least faintly important part. use of a washcloth in inventive ways. faint naivety regarding come and precome and pleasurable parts of sex, i suppose. fingering. implied/referenced masturbation ( m and f ). pining. talk of female reproductive issues. author’s note: so before you read anything involving this. i need you all to either go into this chapter blind other than my note about female reproductive issues or i need you to scroll all the way down to the bottom of this past the tag list for a bit of an explanation for that warning. i'm fine either way but i didn't want to spoil it in the warnings considering i left what happened fairly nebulous. all that being said hi y'all, welcome to the second chapter of spark! there is not a lot i can say other than telling you all i am so very thankful for every single one of you who read it and especially those of you who left comments in the notes or reblogged because hearing what feelings i invoked or what i did to y'all was a highlight and truly makes me want to interact with all of you more and makes me just want to hear more from all of you. this chapter and the next are a doozy but this one specifically has the nearly 6k bath scene as i've called it so you're in for a treat. special thank you to my southern gothic/southern sticky romance soulmate @precious-little-scoundrel because y'all know this wouldn't exist without her little whispers. additional thanks to my discord wives @ab4eva and @butlersxbirdy, my princess and my peach y'all know how much hearing y'all scream about my snippets made me know i was heading in the right direction. @blurredcolour thank you for also reassuring me that the one bit i showed you worked and wasn't just completely a mess. and last but not least @powerofelvis and @prompted-wordsmith thank you both for the edit job and smitty specifically for a few choice lines. i still am never gonna not laugh about you trying to sneak weepy in there though. and now before this author's not gets much longer, i present the second chapter of spark, titled prayer.

It's so quiet in the room. It's too quiet in the kitchen. It's too quiet even as Lilly hears Elvis's deep breaths against her back, hears her own softer breaths mixed with something that sounds almost like a whimper—a soft cry of elation with every other breath and shift of her body against his. Her vagina—her pussy—oh, she doesn't know what to call it now—aches in a way she's never felt before, not even when her husband took her for the first time in their bed. It aches but it doesn't hurt, it burns but in the way her legs burned after she would go running with Melly or how her arms burned after lifting up a basket of Nathan's clothes. Her—what had Elvis called it?—her clit, her button throbs as she feels his soft cock brush up against it as he moves forward just a bit, causing a noise that sounds so obscene Lilly can't help the way her cheeks darken even as another noise leaves her. Another whimper, this time lower in pitch, a keen leaves her mouth as Elvis stills his attempt to separate them.

"Lilly, darlin' I gotta—you gotta let me let ya down. Ya leg's startin' to hurt, ain't it?" Elvis murmurs, his hand moving down her flank, watching how her body starts to shiver, their shared sweat starting to cool on her body as the fan–the fan he just fixed whirrs above them. "Don't… it's gonna start hurtin' the more we stay here, darlin'. Let—" His hand moves to her thigh, feels how it's so sticky and slick with God knows what fluid, his or hers or both, and he's not sure how he's going to take his hand off of her if it starts to stick. Her shivers are starting to strengthen, be it from nervousness or the cool air or a combination and Elvis can't help the way a singular one flows through him, causing him to tighten his hold on her thigh and bury his face against her shoulder, a groan leaving his lips as he feels her clench at it. "It's—come on, Lilly, I gotcha, let me help ya."

It's those words, that mild parroting of words he had just whispered against the shell of her ear not even 15 minutes ago that has her head falling forward just a little, has her body going lax completely, a rag doll for him to maneuver how he sees fit. She doesn't trust herself to help him, doesn't trust the thoughts in her head that tell her to make him keep her this way, to keep him inside of her and keep her filled and aching all at once. Doesn't trust the traitorous thought that tells her Nathan would have never done this, would never be this gentle and calming with her. She'd already be standing on shaky legs with him tucking himself in his pants before telling her that was good. Elvis's arm catches her, holds her tight against him still as he helps her pull her leg down off the counter even as she hears that noise again that—squelch of her arousal and the sheer amount of come he had released in her. If this is how he sounded inside of her, what would happen when he pulled out of her? What would happen as he left her stretched and satisfied? Would—perhaps some would take. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. 

"Lil." His whisper is gentle, almost as if he's scared she'll bolt. "You hold onto me. Gonna get outta ya now. Gonna pull out of ya."

Her arm and her hand grip his own tightly, her shivers increasing as she feels Elvis start to pull out. The more he inches out bit by bit the more empty she feels, the more she feels as if there's a wound there that won't heal caused by him leaving. It's never felt like this with Nathan and she knows, she knows so deep in her bones and soul that should worry her. But her mind, her body, her everything has narrowed down to her and Elvis as he finally breaks free of her vagina and she feels a wetness like she's never felt before slide down her legs. Unbidden and unrestrained, a sob is wrenched from her throat as she's set down, her feet finally touching the floor once more. A sudden shift back to reality she wasn't prepared for.

Elvis's arm tightens around her even as her shivers worsen and as he feels and hears the sob that comes from her. He doesn't think he hurt her—not physically, at least—but he can't… he can't check her like this. Not when he looks down at her legs and sees his release sliding down her leg.

A realization hits him in that exact moment as his arm tightens around where—where a child would grow if any of his release caught. Where their child would grow if it caught. He hadn't worn protection. He allowed himself to enter her bare and come not once, but twice. Right in this very moment he could be sealing both of their fates. Her to have the child of a man who is not her husband and him—him, to see another man raise his child. To see his child grow up through pictures instead of being there for every waking moment. His thoughts are interrupted by another of Lilly's sobs and he shakes his head. She–she needs a bath, he can't let Nathan come home and see her like this. Even if he had been neglecting her, leaving her to wilt and leaving her to be watered and in the worst of cases fertilized by another man, Elvis couldn't be sure of his reaction to seeing the proof leaking out of his wife.

The fan creaks as it spins, unused to spinning after the break it had been given from being broken. Elvis's brain settles on the noise even as the air circulating causes even his body to let out a shiver. His own natural heat feels like it isn't enough in this one moment, as if it's too busy trying to keep Lilly warm to remember to keep him fully warm and yet he thinks he can handle it. It's nothing compared to winter in France. Nothing compared to the bite of the cold against his skin then. And yet—and yet it cuts far more to the bone, through his muscles and fat and everything that should protect him. Straight to the heart of him.

His arm finally falls from around Lilly’s waist as she moves to stand on her own, her legs a little shaky like a newborn deer. He hastily tucks himself back into his jumpsuit—she can't see what he put inside her, can't see his uncut cock even if it brought her pleasure he wonders if she's never had before. When she finally looks at him he has to stop himself from pulling her into his arms to kiss her. She looks… she looks like an angel and he's corrupted her like a devil. He's touched something that might not have been pure and innocent but was as close as he’s seen in such a long time and sullied it. Touched it with hands that have seen war and have seen death and threatened to cause death even in peacetime. What sort of person did that, what sort of man who believes in God with all his being now would do this to another man’s wife? Breaking not one, but two sins, and for what? To try and fix something that it isn’t his place to fix, that will never be his place to fix? To try and fix something only to potentially cause more things to break inside and out. He hopes she doesn’t see how his hand clenches into a fist, hopes she doesn’t see how he can’t look her in the eye right at this moment. He hopes—he hopes—he hopes she can forgive him, he hopes God can forgive him. 

Lilly can’t help the way her legs shake slightly and how her body trembles just a little bit. She’s not cold, not in a way that would cause this much shivering and yet here she was acting as if she had been dunked in a bath filled with cold water and shoved into a Yankee winter. Elvis was—is warm in a way she knows would help. Or at least she feels as if it would help because it would just be an extension of taking care of her, wouldn’t it? It would be him continuing the duty he’s given himself despite not… not being the man who promised to love and to hold and to take care of her in every conceivable way. He is just a man. He is just a man who she has grown quite fond of but a man nonetheless. A man who is not her husband and yet—no, this was just both of them being tempted and falling for temptation. In her mind, she thinks of never having Elvis speak to her again, thinks of a world where this act has ruined their relationship. No, their friendship, and she bites her lip to keep from crying out in anguish. He had been such good company. He is such good company and to lose that would have her all alone once again with nothing to show for it except… perhaps. Perhaps his release could catch inside her. Perhaps it could catch and form a child, their child and she would have someone to be with. She would have the child she longed for to spend her days doting on and mothering. She would have her company and she could be so much less angry—despondent over her friends and she could enjoy Melly’s pregnancy and any other ones that would come after because she’d at least have her own child. Too preoccupied with her thoughts, she nearly misses Elvis speaking to her and grabbing ahold of her hand. 

“Lil darlin’, ya shakin’ like a leaf. Ya got a robe or somethin’ in that bedroom of yourn?” He asks all while walking them ever so slowly to the bathroom near the other bedroom. It has a bathtub, that much he knows from using it but he knows it’s likely not anything compared to the one in the main bathroom adjacent to her bedroom. Lilly can only nod as an answer. “Ya good to go grab it? Don’t wanna—it’s not my place to see ya bedroom.”

He’s right and she knows he is but a part of her, the part of her that’s clinging onto his hand for dear life and doesn’t trust her legs to carry her into the bedroom and back to him shakes her head. “I’m—I don’t—walk me to it?”

“Lilly,” he starts before he looks up and sees her face pleading with him, begging silently in almost the same way it was up against the sink and he stops himself before nodding. “Just keep holdin’ my hand. I’ll walk wit’ ya.”

Between the walls and Elvis’s hand, Lilly’s steps are a little more certain by the time she makes it to the doorway of her bedroom where just on the inside there’s a hook that has her robe. She creaks the door open just slightly to grab it before pulling it on. It smells faintly of Nathan’s cologne and she can’t help but crinkle her nose in distaste, wishing it smelt different. The walk over to the other bathroom is just as slow and just as measured but the moment they reach it, Elvis moves to set her on the toilet after shutting the lid. His knees crack audibly as he gets down on the floor with a groan. Lilly winces as she hears the water turn on. “Warmer than you think I should have it.” 

He hadn’t asked what temperature she wanted the water but she figured it was best to tell him ahead of time, just in case he thought she needed it only lukewarm. His response is a chuckle before he turns the hot knob just a bit more. 

Her mind wanders as she sits there feeling more of his release sticking to her leg. Her mind wanders as she looks at Elvis in his jumpsuit still half open but done up so she can’t see what was between his legs, what had given her such pleasure that her vagina clenches 

involuntarily at the memory. Clenches at the memory of how full it felt, how it felt like it was catching, how it felt different than Nathan’s penis. Surely—oh surely with how full she feels even now with his release inside her it would take. It would catch and take and her belly would swell with new life. Her child would grow inside her and kick and roll and make her so happy even as she pushed them out, painful as everyone had told her it was. Her child would look like her if it was a daughter or perhaps a healthy mix of her and Elvis if it was a boy. Her breath catches at the image and she finds herself leaning against the toilet and clutching her hands to her stomach with her eyes shut. Her eyes shut so that the lord could hear her prayer because she’s only focusing on Him and the words she was praying up into the heavens. Please, Lord, please let it catch. Bless me with just this one baby.

Elvis looks over at Lilly over the rims of his glasses and is struck by how she looks so serene in the moment. How her robe covers her and how her head is tilted up as if she’s praying for something. His eyes drift down and notice her hands on her belly. Her hands that seem small compared to his on her belly and briefly, in a flash he berates himself for later, he pictures her growing round with his baby after the release he's just left in her has taken root. Pictures her blossoming and blooming right before his eyes as she thanks him with his favorite dinner with their child rolling inside of her under an apron. The word please leaves her lips, though, and it shatters that image quicker than anything else. She is married to an idiotic child, yes, but he is still her husband and is still a strapping young man. Perhaps still more suited for her than him. More suited to give her those children to help her bloom. He has to shut his eyes and pray for forgiveness and for God to dissolve his come before it reaches those parts of her that can bear fruit. She’s pleading with God that it doesn’t take—that they aren’t caught with their indiscretion and his mind is being selfish with the desires it has for her.

It doesn’t take long for the tub to fill and Elvis turns off the water before it gets to be too much. He can’t look at Lilly, hasn’t looked at her since he heard the word please fall from her lips and yet he knows he has to. He knows to help her into the bathtub he has to but he stares at the water, watching it ripple just a little until he hears Lilly’s voice. 

“Are you—? You can… can you stay?” Her skin flushes at her own question, as if it’s the worst possible thing for her to say, as if it’s mortifying to have it leave her lips. He is not her husband. He is, at best, a new friend—and she wants him to see her completely bare. “You don’t—”

Elvis cuts off her words with a shake of his head. “I’ll stay for ya. Since ya want me to.” He pauses, his eyes finally looking at her: specifically looking at her legs where his release is still sliding down onto the floor of the bathroom. Had he honestly come that much? “Ya—e need to—I came in ya, Mrs. H—Lilly. It’s gonna need to be washed outta ya,” his hand twitches as his eyes drift to her stomach and he has to stop himself from placing his hand on it with his next words. “Don’t want ya bein’... Don’t wanna cause ya any issues.”

Don’t want to have my child growin’ inside of ya, is what he means, Lilly thinks. Her traitorous mind wants to be that mean woman Nathan’s accused of her of being and spit that she wants to swell with his baby. She wants to grow round with his baby because she wants a baby and Nathan won’t give her one. She wants a child to love and dote on and to cherish. She bites her tongue though, because it’s not right to say it, it’s not proper to admit she might do anything for a baby. Instead she nods and moves to take off the robe, motioning for Elvis to help her with the rest of her clothes as she stands up. Ever the gentleman, he obliges, and Lilly can’t help the goosebumps and shivers that dot her in his hands’ wake as his fingertips glide across her skin. Her body hunches over just slightly to protect her modesty as if he hadn’t just had her against her kitchen sink not once, but twice. Elvis frowns slightly when he sees this, the frown only deepening as she moves to step into the tub on her own. It doesn’t take him but a second to scoop her into his arms.

Lilly squeaks slightly at the unexpected touch before she leans against him, her hand moving to play with his chest hair until he sets her down softly into the tub. A whine escapes her lips as her vagina hits the water, the temperature difference reminding her of their actions. A moment passes before Elvis opens his mouth to ask something and Lilly tilts her head to the cabinet above the toilet. “Middle shelf.”

A nod is his only response to her direction until she hears the crack of his knees signaling how he’s back down on the ground. Her eyes haven’t left the water, watching how there’s little bits of white, stringy and almost clear swirling around the water. It was all going to waste. It was all going to be going down the drain and she was going to remain barren, a woman with no fruit of her loins to call her own when there should be no reason for that. Elvis eyes her before setting the washcloth in the water and humming, his hand moving to touch her shoulder, a strangely domestic touch that she doesn’t shy away from.

“There’s so much of it.” Lilly whispers absentmindedly, her head tilting just so as Elvis hums and chuckles slightly because she’s not wrong. 

“It’s just—that’s my—that’s what I produce before I actually release inside ya. Hell, I think most of it might be that ‘cause I ain’t ever produced this much.” A truth if he’s honest with himself, even in his younger days he doesn’t remember this much being in a condom and yet he had filled her with so much it’s just leaking out of her. He had filled her like he was her husband and they were trying for a child. He had done the unthinkable and yet there’s a small part of him that wonders how much of his release is inside of her. That small part has his cock twitching just slightly against his leg, ready to give her more if she asks, to fill her up and replace what’s being lost in the water. He shakes his head to clear it, to direct the blood flow back to his thinking self and not the desirous snake in his pants.

“This ain’t the part we gotta worry ‘bout anyway. It’s the thicker stuff,” he points to a small bit that’s floating from her vagina as he speaks, “like that right there that we gotta worry ‘bout. But the rest? Ya see how it's slidin’ right out? We don't gotta worry bout those parts.”

Lilly has to stop herself from perking up at that knowledge. That there’s more where this came from and that this? She can lose as much of this as she is right now while still perhaps having his seed catch. This was just the initial bit, the majority of it is still inside of her and she clenches, tightens her vagina even as it feels to be an insurmountable task as it throbs and pulses from the effort. She can't tilt her hips up like her mother had told her but later, perhaps, later she could lay in bed and tilt her hips to help whatever is left behind reach where it needs to be. 

Elvis can't put it off any longer as he stares at rippling water, he needs to help this along, other than those small bits not much of his release is coloring the water. If too much stayed within her—her body would change soon, her body would change and it would be all his fault. He would be responsible for her blooming and blossoming but with a child that wouldn't be, couldn't be taken care of the way he'd want them to. He leans closer to Lilly and finds his hand holding the washcloth sliding up her leg. 

"Don't—I gotcha Lilly. Gonna help clean ya out, alright? Gonna be as gentle as I can." He waits to see her acknowledgement of a nod before he finally moves his hand up to between her legs, the heel of his hand against her mound and his hand covering everything else.

Her body—her vagina feels as if he's shocked her, as if there's a live wire from his hand to her. A gasp leaves her lips even as she inadvertently grinds down on his hand, chasing a feeling she can't quite put her finger on. It’s almost instinctual the way she reacts, the way her eyes shut as she hisses, the pressure too much while at the same time too little. At her hiss Elvis pulls back his hand as if it’s been burned. It’s not his job to take care of her, it’s not his job to make sure she’s alright after their intercourse against the sink and yet he doesn’t think he could live with himself if he hurt her. He knows how to take care of a woman after sex and he’d be damned if he didn’t treat Lilly with all the respect—and love, his mind traitorously whispers—she deserves.

“Lil, ya alright? Did I…” he starts before his words are cut off with a violent shake of her head. Words are failing her and his eyes search her face for a clue as if that will explain her actions and finds it in the way she shifts in the bath slightly. “Ya sensitive down there?” 

Lilly nods and breathes slowly through her nose. “I think so? It’s—It feels like it’s throbbing, Mr. Pre—Elvis.” 

In the back of his mind he knows that means she took him well and that he pleasured her thoroughly. It means that her body is overwhelmed with the sensation. It means that it’ll be like that for days to come. A small, sick bit of joy shoots through him at the thought of her aching for him and his stomach roils as soon as the thought comes to him. He would be no better than her husband who ignores her if he took pleasure in the idea. If he took pleasure in knowing he left her aching for him while she is married to her husband. 

His words are measured when he speaks, a low murmur as he leans closer, taking the washcloth back in his hands. “Ya ain’t—I’m a lil bigger than most, should have prepped ya better. Jus’. We both got a lil’ overwhelmed, didn’t we? ‘S’alright, ‘m gonna make it better, darlin’. Gonna be gentle as I can. Gonna help ya get all this out of ya. Keep ya from having my baby.”

Lilly’s face falls at his words even though he doesn’t notice, too preoccupied with shifting his focus downward to her vagina. Her breath is slow and measured as she watches him, trying to give this a clinical air, trying to make her body realize there’s nothing arousing about this. This is him just trying to clean his release out of her to keep from being tied to her in some way permanent. Her hand drifts to her belly as she curls into him, her head leaning onto his shoulder. He’s methodical with the outside of her and using the cloth he tries to reach between her folds, tries to open her up only to feel as she tenses just that little bit harder. Forcing her open isn’t an option, not one he wants to seriously consider, at least, and he pauses. His fingers through the rough washcloth threaten to ignite another fire low in her belly as they rub slightly against her skin—at least, if the way she whimpers softly is any indication. Perhaps if he brushed against her clit, perhaps that could open her up. It’s helped in other times when he’s wanted to pleasure another woman. His thumb is already near it and without dwelling on his thought his thumb swipes against it, the wash cloth adding friction that has her unclenching faster than he thought was possible, the shock of it ricocheting through her system. A gasp escapes her lips. A gasp that sounds like his name. He refuses to dwell on what that means as he brushes his thumb against her clit once more. 

“Elvis,” she whimpers his name as his thumb swipes a third and a fourth time and she can feel her vagina clenching and unclenching at the feeling, at the sensation as finally she relaxes fully, allowing his fingers to enter her without a question. “Sensitive.” 

Her mind is narrowing to single words, the swirl of arousal curling tighter and tighter in her abdomen with each brush of his thumb and each press of his fingers inside of her. The washcloth shouldn’t help the feeling, it shouldn’t make her eyes want to roll in the back of her head from the friction and the slight roughness. The splashes of his arm and hand hitting the water as his fingers move in and out of her ground her and yet have her floating away. Her brain registers him speaking through her whimpers of pleasure. Pleasure that she doesn’t know what to—to do with, having been denied it for so long. 

“I know it’s a lot but gotta be thorough, Lilly. Gotta make sure it's all out,” he whispers softly to her, his fingers never stopping their task. “That's it, unclench for me, Lil darlin. Let—ya gotta help me, we gotta make sure there isn't anything left up there."

Faintly she can hear him and feel herself nodding, too busy trying not to rock against his fingers. That’s not what he’s doing this for, he’s trying to prevent—he’s trying to prevent a child. He’s trying to protect her marriage and yet her body wants to move on instinct. She wants to be beholden to her instincts just this once. Just this once she wants to have pleasure and happiness she doesn’t have to beg and plead for. It’s nice, this haze that overwhelms her senses, and she can’t truly recall the cold, distant figure of her husband leaving each and every day for work without so much as a kiss on the cheek as it has been recently. Instead she is nestled into the crook of Mr. Presley’s neck, lips tasting of the salt of his sweat. She wants to feel like he made her feel against the sink. Her body cants itself just so in order to earn another swipe of his thumb and she feels herself dangling on the precipice of something—of her orgasm, maybe? Was she about to find release on his fingers as he cleaned her body out with a washcloth? As he cleaned his release so a child didn’t form inside her, giving away their actions from tonight? A miniscule part of her feels as if she ought to be mortified but it doesn’t drown out her sighs and whines as she feels his fingers curl just so—trying to make sure she’s clean. It doesn’t drown out how her hips move once in another attempt to grind before he puts his hand on the back of her neck. A comforting gesture, yes, but when paired with his next words seals her fate.

“Take what ya need right now. Jus' takin’ care of ya. It’ll help get more outta ya. That’s it, Lil darlin, Elvis’s gotcha.”

A keen, high pitched and pained, leaves her mouth as she feels herself fluttering around—no, clenching around—his fingers before becoming practically boneless against him, the aftershocks from the orgasm causing a new round of shivers and goosebumps to happen. Her face burrows into his shoulder as he works her through them gently before her hand moves to grab his wrist, the sensitivity finally becoming too much. 

“Elvis it’s, o-oh—” Lily struggles to articulate her words and breathe and exist in this moment, the sensation drowning out any thoughts other than the pulse of her own heartbeat she feels between her legs. “It—”

Elvis shushes her, trying his hand on her neck, rubbing it and tightening over and over as he finishes cleaning her out, knowing that whatever is left is too high up for him to reach. He’d have to just pray to god for that to be done away with. "Shhhh, Lilly… Darlin', I'm sorry, bein' as gentle as I can.”

Lilly should object to how his hand at her neck feels almost as if she's a kitten being dragged along by their mother but she can't find it in her to do such a thing. She can't find it in her to since objecting would mean he'd remove something that truthfully is keeping her tenuous grip on reality and the Earth there. She figures she'd float away without it. There's a part of her that doesn't think she'd mind in that moment, that she'd understand floating away after what's happened because it almost doesn't feel real, especially as he takes care to wash her body despite her being fully capable of doing it herself. His grip loosens for the last time as she watches him lean over and unplug the drain. The water swirls slowly at first, gaining speed the longer she stares at it and the more of his release slides down the drain. She hears the crack of Elvis's knees as he stands up and winces for him even as his shadow towers over her. She should get up out of the tub, she knows this and yet her legs feel just shaky enough that she finds the task impossible until she feels his arms underneath hers.

Getting out with his support allows her to fully catch her bearings as he hands her a towel that she wraps around her body, drying herself off as he grabs another and assists with her legs, his knees cracking once again at him getting back down. She makes the mistake of looking down at him and seeing him look up at her with a surprising sense of worship she only ever usually associates with church and God. A shiver makes its way through her at the realization. 

Her voice sounds like it's going through a tunnel as she says something about how she's fine from here. She swears she hears herself say Mr. Presley and hears him say Mrs. Harris like he hadn't seen her naked and like he hadn't just helped her to clean out his release. Their formalities would make her laugh in any other situation, especially if she thinks of his seed catching inside of her. It wouldn't do to call her that when she was carrying his child, now would it? Wouldn't do for her to call him that as her belly rounded out with his baby, would it? Would it?

He leaves and she waits until she hears a goodbye burst forth loud enough to break through the tunnel her ears are in to finish drying off and getting ready.

She barely finishes making dinner as Nathan walks through the door.

Elvis… Elvis finds himself under his shower cursing his actions even as he remembers her face and her pleasure. He dreams of a life. He dreams of a life with her. He dreams of their life together. It feels worse than any nightmare.

Charlie notices something is up the moment he walks in the diner and sees Elvis already sitting down at their table, a plate with just bacon in front of him in addition to eggs and what looks like toast, or at least he hopes it’s toast. It looks like a plate for him and Elvis and yet he sees the man he's willing to call one of his truest friends eating it all as if it's just for him. He ought to be gentle about the whole thing, ask Elvis a question calmly and innocently. 

Instead, as any sensible friend who’s seen you naked and bleeding and cryin’ for your mama does, he steals two pieces of bacon and sits down in the chair across from his best friend and chomps on said bacon before asking one, singular question: "What are you doing?"

Elvis's hand darts out with a speed that betrays his army training to grab the other piece of bacon only to be rebuffed with a frown. "Eating bacon, Charlie. Ya suddenly blind now? Short and blind, what a catch for ya wife."

Charlie visibly recoils and waits for Elvis to apologize or give him some clue that the statement was just his normal, playful ribbing. The crunch of the bacon disabuses him of that notion as the minutes tick by. "We got a family so she must've seen something in me. Just thankful she didn't see you first."

"Ain't that everyone's damn thanks. Thankful I didn't see their wives back then but if I see 'em now they ain't gotta worry. Women don't go for this body like they did back in the day." Elvis stabs at his eggs and Charlie—Charlie thinks he knows what's going on and he can't help but roll his eyes internally. 

"Did some woman turn you down and now you're moping? Over a plate of bacon after church?" He tries to keep the judgment out of his voice but there's still a hint there that he can't do away with. 

If looks could kill as well as every gun both he and Elvis have ever used, Charlie's certain in this moment he would be preparing to go to sleep in his eternal resting place. As it stands he once again realizes that perhaps he ought to not poke his absolute bear of a best friend. Elvis's next words punctuated by another crunch of bacon and a laugh so bitter Charlie's never heard it come from him seals that idea.

"Oh. Charlie, my boy, my boy, that would have been better. I would have handled that like a champ," he shakes his head, "ya 'member Mrs. Harris? The—the woman I told ya 'bout?"

“Yeah, the one with the niece and the husband who can’t work his way ‘round a wrench. What about—?” Charlie stops mid sentence and stares long and hard at Elvis trying to school his face into something normal and something less like he looks about ready to murder him before realizing it’s impossible and saying the first words that come to mind in the most hushed tone he can manage. “Wasn’t one of your rules you wouldn’t sleep with a married woman?”

Elvis can’t help but curse the fact that Charlie has seen him through some of, if not the worst, parts of his life and can regrettably read him like an open book sometimes. He doesn’t answer with words. Instead he allows himself to eat a piece of toast that is both soggy and crispy all at once. His silence is practically deafening before Charlie exhales. 

“You—ou got me thinking your daddy died or something and all this is because you slept with another man’s wife? A man who’s practically ignoring her despite how she looks like a—” Elvis swallows and holds up his pointer finger before practically growling. 

“Not other fuckin’ word, Hodge. Not a single fuckin’ word. Lilly ain’t some fuckin’ European floozy we forgot ‘bout the next day. Don’t ya say ‘nother fuckin’ word.”

A chuckle leaves Charlie’s mouth despite his best efforts to stop it. Elvis is moping about a woman alright, just not the way Charlie thought he was. He wouldn’t have—He loves Elvis, he does but he would have never predicted him managing to charm a woman like that if she didn’t know who he was beforehand. If she didn’t know him as he was when they both came back from the war, both struggling with things they had seen yet pared down to a lean type of beauty: the scraggly pines that grew on Italian mountaintops. Yet maybe, just maybe, there was hope. Very stupid and unwise hope, but hope nonetheless that Elvis might be able to enjoy the same sort of life he has. 

"Cursing on the Lord's day. At me. She's got you—pass me your whole pig's worth of bacon and tell me what happened, E."

Elvis stares at the plate and lets out a heavy sigh as he scoots the plate over. “It ain’t a whole pig’s worth of bacon.”

“It’s as big as my head.” Charlie states, motioning to get the attention of one of the waitresses in an attempt to get a plate and different food even as he eats a piece of bacon.

“Ya have a tiny head, Hodge. Like a damn lil hedgehog.” 

Meanwhile across town Lilly finds herself in her sister’s kitchen, sitting at her dining room table with the light of the sun shining on her through the window. Her sister Melly busies herself with the finishing touches of a lunch for the two of them and Jerry. Lilly had tried to help only to be waved off with an ease that had her sitting down in the chair watching, her hands settling on her stomach as they had been since that fateful afternoon. It’s too soon to know, she reasons, too soon to know if Elvis’s seed took and has filled her empty womb with a child she’s craved for years. Yet her hands gravitate there anyway, almost trying to provide a cradle as if to tell the child she hopes is forming inside her that it’s okay to stay, it’s alright and that she’ll be their mother. She’ll take such good care of them and they’ll get to meet their cousins. They’ll get to meet their cousins and grow up with the one swelling underneath Melly’s apron. 

Melly notices this, of course, notices how her sister is cradling her belly and yet she doesn’t dare ask. She doesn’t dare ask if Nathan’s finally done right by her sister and given her the baby she so desperately wants. Her chest hasn’t changed and she hasn’t felt a firmness when she’s brushed against her but perhaps it’s just too early.

“You’re looking happier,” Melly comments as she sets down the plates of food. She leaves Jerry’s on the counter, knowing her husband will grab it when he comes back inside from dealing with the yard.

Lilly can’t help the way she smiles slightly and practically preens at the acknowledgment that she seems happier. Elvis might not be—Elvis might not have been by since that afternoon but there was something so beautiful about his actions, so gentle and nourishing about him that it stuck with her. The throbbing in her vagina’s finally stopped after days of her cupping it and playing with it next to Nathan’s snoring body, wishing her fingers were thicker and longer and wishing it was Elvis’s cock sliding in and out of her. That he was keeping her full and telling her he’s got her, he’s always got her while filling her with so much of his release that there’d be no other choice but to swell with his child. 

She doesn’t dwell on the fact that it’s taken another man to make her feel a way she hasn't for years. She can’t dwell on that because it’s improper and she’d like to just bask in the glow of everything for now. She’d like to bask in the glow of things before a different glow would overtake her. 

“I feel happier.” Lilly answers, still continuing to grin as she digs into the food. There’s a hint of nausea at some of it but she chalks it up to being hungry. “I feel different.”

Melly’s eyebrows both move upward as she settles into her chair and takes a bite of her toast first, knowing how her stomach reacts to food without a bland base to start off with. “Different. Does that have anything to do with Nathan and you? Anything you want to tell me?”

Lilly’s hand stills in its subconscious rubbing as her eyes widen. “No. Not—not yet.”

There’s something that shifts in Melly, a brightness that shines through as she looks at Lilly. If she is pregnant it's too soon to tell but the idea that she'd be carrying her second while Lilly is finally carrying her first delights her in ways she can't put into words. It's perhaps a secret dream she's always had. The scrape of her chair against the linoleum is harsh to both their ears and yet it’s a small price to pay for the feel of Melly’s hand against her stomach. 

“You’ll tell me as soon as you know?” Melly’s voice comes out as a whisper, as if she’s scared to speak it any louder. “You’ll tell me I’ll have a niece or nephew on the way?”

Lilly nods quickly as she hears the door open and hears Jerry’s voice carry into the kitchen. Melly’s hand moves off of her stomach as quick as can be before Jerry pops his head in and smiles. “Won’t ask what you two were doing before I got here.”

Life doesn't stop that Sunday and instead continues on and on with one week passing by and then another and another until Lilly knows she's due for her cycle and yet it doesn't appear. Her underwear remains pristine and white with not a drop of blood in sight. She doesn't dare tell Melly or anyone yet, knowing it could be a fluke, a stress induced issue but she swears she feels her womb hardening. She swears she feels it bloating in a way that feels different than what comes before her cycle. Perhaps, perhaps Elvis had done it. Perhaps Elvis had filled her and their child was forming unbeknownst to either of them. It occurs to her that she should try and reach out to him and see if he can come by her home. There's nothing that's broken for him to be fixed and yet he deserves to know what's happening inside her. That soon her stomach will round outward and their child will kick and roll and grow inside of her. That she is still married but it would be cruel to deprive him of ever knowing of their child. 

It's too soon for him to know, she'll tell him when she's sure, when there's no mistaking what has happened to her because of their actions that afternoon. She'll tell him then, she'll convince him to come by and press his hand against her stomach so he can feel what he's—what she wished and prayed to have happen even as he washed himself out of her. He ought to be able to be in their life somehow because he's their father and he'd make such a brilliant one. He'd make such a brilliant one and her mind traitorously tells her it's a shame she wouldn't be raising the child with him. 

Six weeks is a long time for him to be avoiding Lilly and he knows that. He knows that she didn't deserve to be left out in the cold like that—to be left without company and companionship like that but he can't help it. He can't help how his mind drifts when his exhaustion sets in remembering how her body felt against his when they danced and when she sagged against him. It’s a sin to covet a man’s wife as much as he covets Lilly. It’s a sin to want to be in another man’s home taking care of his wife in any way she’ll let him. It’s a sin and yet it feels so right, it feels like he’d be doing what he’s meant to be doing. Elvis is not her husband and yet his mind—his traitorous mind and soul tells him he should be and tells him she needs him in some way. She’s been happier, he thinks, since that afternoon—and his mind tells him that he had something to do with that. There’s a glow about her and it draws him in like a moth to a flame before he pulls himself away every Sunday when she passes off her niece. A nagging thought crosses his mind as the weeks go by and he swears that glow is stronger every time he sees her, that perhaps it wasn’t just happiness and joy causing her to glow that way. He ought to ask her and yet the idea feels invasive in a way that makes him think he has to find the right time for it. If his suspicions prove to be correct, he figures they both will need time to process it. 

Six weeks is a long time for him to avoid her and it makes it so that when he gets a call that sounds like Lilly crying there isn’t a moment of hesitation before he finds himself jumping into his truck and driving to her house she shares with her husband. Her door is unlocked and he wants to admonish her for it, tell her that she shouldn’t leave the door unlocked because you never know who might come in but then he sees her. He sees her tear stained face and her rumpled dress and fears the worst. A flash of pure anger courses through his veins as his mind swirls with possibilities of why she’s crying. Why her face and body betray such anguish that it twists his gut and has his mouth opening to speak before her voice sounding so small in a way he’s never heard interrupts him. 

“I was waiting. I was being careful!” Her words don’t make sense to Elvis even as his eyes trace over her form and around the house where they’re standing as if either thing holds the clue for what’s going on. As if some part of the way she’s carrying herself—hunched over—or the way things seem out of place—her lunch was sitting on the table only half eaten—would explain what’s happening, why she had called him crying, muttering about needing to fix things. 

His tone is soft and comforting as he moves to touch her shoulder, to pull her into some form of a hug. “Darlin’—” The word slips out before he can stop himself but he continues. “What’s… what’s wrong?”

Her eyes look up at him and he’s struck by how bloodshot they look. How long had she been crying? How long had her body been wracked by sobs that no one was there to comfort her from? Elvis watches as her mouth opens and closes several times before she shakes her head. “I—the oven is broke again.”

“Lil—Mrs. Harris, things I fix don’t break like that. Not this quick.” He tries to defend his work, knowing there’s no Earthly way that it was broken already. He had made sure to fix it, he had made sure that her oven wouldn’t need his touch for quite a long time after he was inside of it that day. In the back of his mind he thinks he’s missing something.

“It’s broken, Mr. Presley. It’s broken and can’t keep heat and bake anything and I’ll call someone else over if you won’t fix it. Just please take a look at it. Just make it work like I thought it was.” Lilly’s voice shakes but doesn’t waver when she speaks. If anything it seems to get stronger the longer she speaks. It seems she’s more insistent with every word that comes from her mouth. Something is broken—the oven he was supposed to fix is broken and she wants him to check it again. That nagging feeling grows as he looks at her in confusion. He prides himself on being a smart enough man, but… maybe it’s because she clouds his judgment. He can’t tell what she’s talking about.

“Lil—Lilly, why did you call me here?” He manages to almost stutter out the words, wincing he hears it. She has to answer him when he asks point blank, doesn’t she? 

Lilly is silent for the longest while and Elvis thinks he pushed too hard, thinks that he’s overstepped for once—twice—in their friendship and opens his mouth to apologize before she grabs his hand and places it on her stomach. In a rush everything clicks into place for Elvis and swears his heart stops. He should move his hand and yet he can’t, it’s almost as if there’s a magnet keeping his hand attached to her stomach. The oven is broken, her oven is broken and empty and can’t keep heat. 

The night before, when his body gave out and had him sleep he tossed and turned over images of him and Lilly together. Images of her swollen with a child and laughing next to him. He remembers being on his knees kissing her still-flat stomach and laughing with her hand over his and telling her how she’s made him the happiest man alive. He could still hear her giggles ringing in his ears when he woke up. That was fantasy, a dream dreamed up by an old man who shouldn’t be dreaming of a life with a woman he isn’t married to and who is married to another. They’re brilliant company for each other but—but she is not his wife and he is not her husband. 

“I’m sorry.” Elvis whispers the words and they feel so insubstantial, so insignificant to what he feels in this moment. The sorrow he feels for her being fed by her tears and the way her silence just drags on and on. Perhaps this was his doing, perhaps there was something there and he had broken it. Perhaps—perhaps he should have been selfish and not cleaned his release from her. Or perhaps—he can’t dwell on it. It threatens to drive him mad if he does. 

And yet his mind can't shake another time and place where his hand is there for another reason, with her hand over his, a smile on her face instead of tears rolling down her cheeks and onto his suit as she curls into a hug he offers. She looks so young and yet like she's been crushed by the world all at once. A flower run over on the side of the road, soaked in the gutter. The attempt he finally makes to move his hand is thwarted by her own grasping his wrist, forcing him to press down to feel that she's bloated but still very empty.

It was supposed to be different. Things were supposed to go well, she had prayed and begged and cradled her womb and for what? For her cycle to be off and there to be blood mocking her in her underwear? For there to be cramping that feels like it might threaten to tear her in two. No one she’s known has lost a baby, there’s no one she can ask to see if that’s what’s happening. If the child she swore was growing from the moment Elvis released inside of her not once but twice was gone. Or if there just wasn’t one at all and she had been deluding herself. Either option feels almost unbearable and feels like a lead weight in her stomach.

Elvis doesn’t speak and Lilly’s thankful for it. Her dream of telling him and them figuring out how he would be involved has been flushed down the toilet multiple times today and is currently flowing between her legs. Her hand finally loosens its grip on his wrist and her chest tightens as she looks into his eyes. Those blue eyes shouldn’t be so caring, they shouldn’t look so caring when looking at her. There shouldn’t be sympathy in those eyes directed toward her or her empty womb. Yet there is and Lilly is struck not for the first time at how different Elvis is from Nathan. She’s struck by how she’s been in this sort of position before with her husband and she doesn’t recall there being nearly as much care and—dare she even pretend?—-anguish in his gaze. She remembers frustration at himself or, or her? She doesn’t know. She can’t recall just now.

“I—I was late,” She starts, and shakes her head, sniffling. “I was late for my cycle and I didn’t—I don’t know why I called you.”

Elvis doesn’t dare say the first thoughts that come to mind. Doesn’t dare tell her that he thinks she knows exactly why she called him because the mere idea shouldn’t be put into words. He’s already damned himself and her anguish, her pain is perhaps a consequence of it. Had he not given in to his baser urges perhaps Nathan would have given her a child that she could tell him she was growing inside of her. If he hadn’t given into his baser urges she wouldn’t have thought his child was growing inside of her. He shuts his eyes, trying to not think of the image of her swollen with his child once again. 

“Comfort?” The word as an answer feels safe and from the look on Lilly’s face, how it relaxes just a little bit and how her hunched over position straightens out even as she grimaces in pain he was right. However, that urge to fix that had caused so many problems rears its ugly head again and Elvis knows he should ignore it but the grimace on her face reminds him that she’s in pain and to leave her in pain without attempting to help her feels cruel. It feels cruel to just allow her to deal with this on her own. Perhaps that’s why she had called him, taken the chance that he wouldn’t want her to be alone in this situation. Taken the chance to assume he missed her and just wants what he's craved from her more than anything else: her company. 

A nod is the only thing she manages before her body is wracked with another flare of pain as Elvis watches. He’s never—he’s never been here when she’s on her cycle so he doesn’t know if this is normal or not but he remembers June and remembers the other girls and knows, in this moment, he can’t leave her like this. Especially after she had called him. His mind tries to think back on what other women would do before he remembers how some would curl up in bed and ask for heat and any number of other things. The flash of memory at her in the bath after their activities and a flash of a fantasy of her in the bath with him runs through his thoughts until he shakes his head to clear it. 

“Missus—Lilly. Darlin’, I—wouldn’t it be better to be laying down? For your pain?” His words are chosen as carefully as he can and yet he still feels like he might have said the wrong thing until he sees her move to lean and sag against him as if he’s the only thing that’s going to keep her standing in this exact moment. 

“My—oh, just help me to my bedroom, you don’t—” The words are lost as Elvis picks her up, earning a bit of a shocked gasp from her. “You don’t have to pick me up, I can w-walk.”

Elvis stays silent for a moment or so as he walks, ignoring the ache in his knees that tell him he should have prepared more for this. That he should have known better than to pick Lilly up like this and yet he finds that it’s easy to ignore the ache as her protest grows a little quieter and she practically burrows into his hold. He is not her husband and yet he wonders if her husband’s ever done this for her. Ever treated her with care when she’s like this. 

Nathan had noticed her pain that morning and brushed it off, much to Lilly’s frustration. It’s not that she wanted him to know she had engaged in a transgression but she was his wife and she was in pain. Jerry had made sure Melly was taken care of after Lizzie and Nathan couldn’t even be bothered to call her sister or anyone. The neglect is what feels like an even worse knife than the one she swears she feels in her lower stomach. The neglect is why she called Mr—Elvis. Even in the short time she’s at least partially known him—the actual him, not the image she had of the man who taught her niece’s Sunday school—has taken care of her and hasn’t left her to rot and wallow in her pain and loneliness. He’s kept her company and fixed so many things around her house that at this point she’s thinking she’s going to have to break things just to have an excuse to get him to visit under the guise of working. 

She knows she shouldn’t relax in his hold, she shouldn’t burrow into his arms like he’s her husband and he’s just carrying her to their bed but she can’t help it, the sheer joy and calmness that settles over her from the care he shows overwhelming her. His arms allow her to feel safe in the moment, help her to forget how much pain she’s in physically and mentally. They are a balm to her aches even as she potentially causes some for him. It doesn’t take too long for him to reach her bedroom, using his body to open the door the entire way from its cracked open position. Lilly hears him sigh and feels his head move to try and avoid looking around before she feels him shift her in his arms.There’s a difference, she thinks, in knowing that he would have to eventually set her down on her bed and him actually doing it. 

A shiver runs through her body that has Elvis’s grip tightening as he moves his hands away. It’s not cold and yet here she was shivering like she was that fateful night.

“You alright?” he murmurs, low and questioning in a way that he shouldn’t be.

“You’re warm,” she whispers back at him, looking into his eyes and trying to pretend that answers everything. Pretend that telling him he’s warm will get him to stay and comfort her until it’s time for Nathan, cold, icily indifferent Nathan to be home. “I feel—it felt good.”

Elvis opens his mouth to speak before his breath catches in his throat at the sheer intensity of the look she’s giving him. He can’t put a name to what he sees in her eyes, only that it threatens to overwhelm him if he stares at her for too much longer. He has to leave, he needs to go back to work or home or just somewhere where her eyes aren’t burning holes into his soul. He finally starts to step away only for Lilly’s arm to find its way in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. Her hand moves to grab his and grasps it so tightly he can’t wrench it from her. 

“Can you—can you stay?” She asks, quiet as a church mouse and looking as if she expects him to say no. As if she expects to be left alone to deal with things once again. It makes his stomach roil and twist and he feels almost like throwing up before he moves to sit down on the bed. 

“Not for too long, Lilly,” he answers, as he watches her move to the other side of the bed, letting go of his hand as she does. He sits down, groaning slightly as he does at the feel of her bed underneath him. It dips more than it did when she was occupying the same spot, his weight causing the springs to creak just a bit more. Lilly waits until he gets comfortable to move closer to him. He stays sitting, his body leaning against the headboard, not even daring to try and lay down in her marriage bed. It makes trying to cuddle with him harder than it should be but after a moment of a deliberation she settles on laying her head in his lap. The warmth of his belly seeps into her head, soothing any headache she’s gained from crying and the vantage point allows her to feel encased in what feels like a protective shell. Elvis tries to keep his hands to himself but as he feels Lilly settle against him and sees every wince and shift his hands move to her hair, running his fingers through it. Scratching ever so softly against her scalp. Lilly’s sigh tells him it was the right thing to do and emboldens him to sing, breathe out into the world the first song that comes to mind when he thinks of her. 

Lilly hears Elvis’s voice singing Jo Stafford to her, a song she’s only heard once or twice before but it feels so romantic that something inside her chest feels warm and feels almost like it’s blossoming the more she hears his voice singing in that low tone, his hands flowing through her hair. 

“But just remember, darling, all the while, you belong to me,” he sings, watching as Lilly’s eyes start to flutter shut, the pain and the emotions of today getting the best of her. The more he sings the more he realizes he wishes those words were true. The more he wishes he wouldn’t have to leave in a few hours. But she is not his wife and he is not her husband and he’ll leave in a few hours as he should. He’ll leave after he shakes her awake lightly, grimacing as she winces in pain and as her eyes practically beg him to stay once again. He'll leave watching her curl back into her sheets but won't see her head move to where he had been sitting or see her hands grab at the pillow that had been behind his back.

She will wake up alone right before Nathan comes home. She will wake up to a simple dinner made with two plates on the table. 

She calls him back over the next day.

taglist: @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @missmaywemeetagain, @lookingforrainbows, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @be-my-ally,  @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @notstefaniepresley, @wanderingelvis, @kxnnxy, @powerofelvis, @stylespresleyhearted, @marriedtopresley, @memphis-menace, @steph-speaks, @coolgirl462, @vintageshanny, @memphisflash1935-1977, @j-v-9-2, @sexystarfish, @duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, @jessicarcates, @chirssycrumble9456789, @shantellescrivener, @yomammalolha, @honey6578, @urmom11111111111119, @myradiaz, @elvispresleyxoxo, @tryingtogettoelvis, @joegramoe, @rainblue-art, @fav-fanficssss, @moodyblueriver, @misspresley, @fallinlovewithurlove, @ash-omalley, @yynneessmons good heavens, i think that's everyone. those of you who didn't get the tag, know i'm gonna head to the messages within the day. also i including those of you who reblogged the first chapter. i would have done likes as well but there- there was a hefty chunk and i didn't know for sure if you all wanted to be tagged.

additional explanation: so if you haven't just read the fic instead of just scrolling down to the bottom to see what's up, hello. but even if you did just read the fic, let the record show that i myself did write this with the idea that lilly had a very early miscarriage. and it's why i added a tag just in case for it since i know some people avoid the subject matter for their own mental health. however i purposefully left it nebulous because she herself wouldn't know for sure and it's- the same result occurs either way, she is not pregnant and that wrecks her emotionally because she had put so much stock in the possibility that she would be. no matter what if she wasn't pregnant she was going to be sad and depressed and generally in a state of anguish. so, you can read this whichever way you want, it does not really change the intent/what happens afterward in this. but i didn't want to directly spoil all of you in the warnings especially since it causes a turning point of sorts, but i also don't want anyone to be in duress because of me. also i promise honestly these two have a happy ending, just trust me like y'all trusted me with professor presley, okay?

[badhabitnun]

Hi, Green!!! I noticed in your bio you said you're a post-hiatus phannie and I'm curious, what got you to start watching them? Do you remember your first impressions?

(Sorry if this has been asked before! I hope you're having a wonderful day and also just wanted to add I lovedddd your phasquerade art, it's hilarious and adorable 💚)

-Ser :)

hi ser!! this is actually my first ask on this blog, so i was really excited to see something in my inbox 🥹 and thank you!! posting art is SCARY but everyone is being so nice… thank you so much for organizing the phasquerade!!!

i am incredibly sorry for the Length of what is to come now. my feelings aren’t easy to sum up + i doth yap

the main reason i started watching them is probably the dapg revival itself, since my friends started watching their new videos together in our server, and i got curious and asked to tag along. before then though i’d also heard of dnp from them, and as a long-time (12 years) tumblr user i have felt their influence without realizing they were the source? i now know where the whiskers and “protip” come from…

before starting to watch dnp myself i remember seeing my friends react to the phouse reveal (i remember i was like “huh wait at their age that might actually be gay”), basically i’m gay, why i quit youtube, and dan and phil tell the truth (i didn’t know what a girl in prague was and i WAS afraid to ask). those made me curious! but not curious enough to sit through the videos themselves. i felt really bad for dan from all that though! he really sounded like he suffered more than jesus from the contents of both BIG and WIQYT 😭 i remember feeling parasocially protective of him. this is all to say my impressions weren’t COMPLETELY fresh when i started watching and especially for dan i already had one

now back to late 2023! i’d made some really massive changes in my life, like actual leap of faith, the course of my life has been altered kinda massive, so youtube become a comfort space for me. enter these two nerds! the first impression i had of both of them together kind of related to where i was in life at the moment: the realization that you can just live with a fellow nerd who loves you and you don’t have to follow the path the adult world expects from you. seeing them act silly and embrace everything they love and be so carefree and happy to be themselves, sharing a domestic life that doesn’t follow what heteronormative society demands… i know this is all obvious to so many people, but i really needed it at the time.

they became a reminder that i could have this life, that i have something to look forward to and my life isn’t over or doomed to be what society wants it yo be. their chemistry is something very pure and very real and especially now that they’re both open about their sexualities you can really feel how connected they are and how much fun they have together. it just makes me so happy to see two people adore each other so much after all these years!! god!!!

as i’ve said before i knew about dan from his yearly videos in the hiatus era, but i knew almost nothing about phil! the first thing that stood out to me was his accent, since i am very bad at recognizing accents BUT i watch plumbella so i was like whoa is he northern!! and that was kind of an instant comfort factor.

phil is an underrated comfort video genius like seriously... i was facing the horrors of being stuck at home for christmas with a thousand thoughts on my mind and his silly videos were like a nice patch of sunshine. i absolutely agree with dan on phil’s kind energy; he is like those nice people who come talk to you and actually try to make you laugh and feel more at ease if they notice you’re feeling shy. he kept me a LOT of company and i genuinely owe him for that. i can also tell he’s incredibly smart and creative even though his videos now are more casual; he definitely does a lot behind the scenes and he’s an excellent storyteller. i’ve later come to learn that he has also repressed a lot of things for the sake of his audience and probably dan as well, he really has a good heart. also, he resonates a lot with the autistic experience, and regardless of the reason that does make me feel happy and seen

as for dan. well! once i actually started watching his videos firsthand, dan felt like looking at a mirror, which has Impacted Me psychologically. a lot. BUT let’s get the silly stuff out of the way first i immediately understood why my friend has a crush on him 😭😭😭 like i get it!!! i can never bully them for having a crush again because i fucking get it he’s hot he knows it he carries it well! fuck!

but more than that… he immediately made me reflect on myself. i can’t get into my impressions on dan from dapg without saying first that i have had a similar journey with depression and homophobia and repressing everything and he forced me to face that i still have a lot of work to do. i didn’t realize that just knowing i’m queer and acting on it doesn’t automatically mean that i accept myself being queer. that is something that only BIG and hearing dan talk about queerness and mental health made me realize. so right after the omg funny hot nun, i had to kind of reconsider my whole life for a bit… and i’m still in the process of doing that…

more than anything, i think what i’ve felt and keep feeling watching both his older and newer videos is “god i’m so glad he’s out” and “god i’m so glad he can make art”. i just feel so proud of him, so happy he can experience life as himself, so happy that he can laugh and joke about being gay so freely, so happy he can make the art he wants and feel accepted, and so happy that he can proudly smile at his audience now, after i first heard of him as someone who was isolated and scared. again, i projected on him a lot, and i knew about his struggles beforehand, so my impressions are mostly sentimental 😭

all in all they’ve helped me immensely and made my life so much better, both as themselves with their comment and through the community they created over the years. i’ve been a lurker for the past couple of months and what made me come forward and make my own blog is the way their kindness and acceptance extends to their audience and vice versa :)

hopefully that answers your questions and i hope this wasn’t too much oversharing!! i feel like my current place in life influences how i see them and relate to them, and they also influenced me a lot and that contributes to how i perceive them, and so on. putting all these thoughts into words in one place and realizing things about myself bit by bit was really interesting; hopefully the formatting won’t kill those who try to read it. i’m sorry. i wrote this in my notes app 🫡

[shimmerbeasts]

So, this is something, which has been in my head pretty much since I started writing in the Baldur's Gate 3 community. I have been keeping it to myself, but I think maybe posting it now might help. Get some input from other people.

Before I start, I wanna make something clear: This is not an attack against Raphael or people who write him or like him. Heck, if I did not find the dynamic he can have with other people somewhat intriguing, I would not be writing with him.

That being said, I have been noticing that I have not felt comfortable talking about Mizora with other people or sharing my thoughts on Mizzy as I tend to affectionately call her on the blog. Sure, I have some friends, whom I talk to about her - heck, they are pretty much the only ones whom I gushing to about Mizora. But then those friends of mine have known me for a year on here. I feel comfortable gushing with them.

I don't feel that way with the others here. That is not to say I do not feel comfortable talking to you ooc whether that be plotting or just talking about your day. But when it comes to talking about Mizora, I often shy away from sharing my thoughts outside of maybe the complains of how the fandom treats her.

And I think that is the kicker: The way the fandom treats Mizora makes me really hesitant to talk about her positively or speak of things I have developed for her. After all the fandom pretty much shits constantly on Mizora (seriously, I dare you to go into her tag and count the number of posts of people hating her, calling her pathetic or wanting her dead or wanting Wyll to kill her), but at the same time, they find Raphael hot and adore him. I also noticed that Raphael tends to get far more interactions and attention in the rpc. Even when their blogs are relatively new.

Again, this is not meant to be an attack on anybody. I am just frustrated with myself. I wanna be able to talk with other people than my close friends about Mizora or just gush about her on my blog, but I am too much of a coward to do it. Maybe this is just complaining on high standards. It is just... I wish I did not feel like I have to scream into a pillow all the time.

[foxypheonix]

Let’s Address Some Things

It’s been nearly a year since this first began. I have been working on this since about March as I can no longer keep it in and let my nay-sayers get away with this. This event triggered severe RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) in me and threw me into a deep depression so it wasn’t easy for me to try to write all of this down. I wanted to be as clear and truthful as possible, so writing an emotional rant post in response wasn’t an option. I know how the drama-lovers like to nitpick words, so I wanted to be careful as well.

This is about the drama between RadicalRainbow and me. It involves a lot of people, because Rainbow refused to let this be private. As such, I will be posting this publicly as well…

I will be sharing everything that happened that I can remember. I am not about to throw a pity party for myself, but I do intend to defend myself. I want to set things straight for those who actually care to know the whole story. I know it probably won’t help much for those who are convinced I am a terrible person, but…yeah. Let’s just get into it.

RadicalRainbow (and CosmicaCandy):

Part 1: Joining the Server

When Rainbow joined, I was happy and excited. I could tell they were timid and nervous, enforced by how they thought it would be cool to talk to me at all based on their twitter post. Someone else other than Rainbow tagged me, informing me of their post and I said hi and offered to have them join my server.

There were cute with how shy they seemed. But I also wanted them to not be nervous. They were  the most welcomed I had ever seen in my server yet and they posted a lot.

I thought they might be losing their shyness and I tried to treat them like anyone else. I vouch to treat everyone the same to dispel power dynamics and for those in power to face the same treatment as everyone else. Rarely do I not see power go to someone’s head and I work to be humble and use any power I have responsibly.

That being said, I considered Rainbow and I to be equals. They have a bigger audience than me and were more well known, so I almost considered them to be bigger and have more “power” than me. I didn’t want them to revere me, just to see me as another artist and maybe a friend. I do not look to be feared. I want to be open and approachable.

Part 2: Their Time There

I thought Rainbow’s time in my server was great. Again, they were the most well-received person I had ever seen. Everyone welcomed them. They posted often and people were nice to them.

They soon showed interest in knowing more about my Cult of the Lamb comic, In Spite of You (ISOY). The only ways I allowed people to know more, “spoilers” so to speak, is if they became a top-tier patron of my Patreon or if they did work for me. I eventually offered for them to work for me in exchange for learning about spoilers for ISOY. They accepted and became my ask helper, drawing asks to a script and description I provided. I offered to let them draw what they saw appropriate at the times I felt it didn’t matter. They received their payment for this work in the form of information and images pertaining to things not yet made public about ISOY that otherwise was only available to those that paid to receive it or also worked for me.

I did my best to be kind about asking for changes to their work. I allowed them to keep their watermark on their work despite the fact I didn’t want it there, and if I had been paying money, I definitely would have requested to be removed. A watermark obscuring an image is different than an artist signing their work. I did, and continue to give credit where credit is due.

At one point, I suggested (eagerly) for Rainbow to add their OC Fern to ISOY. They said no and I dropped the idea.

They posted Fern a lot. In the posts it was never said what gender Fern was. Going off of appearances Fern was very feminine coded. They even posted porn of Fern and they had drawn Fern being eaten out. No one had any idea Fern was not female.

In relation to Rainbow posting porn of their character, another server member also made a risque picture of Fern after Rainbow had posted theirs.

I only learned later that they had been uncomfortable with this. I saw no issue as they had posted some themselves. They also never vocalized they did not like porn being made of Fern except by themselves until much later.

When boundaries were brought up they were adhered to. However boundaries cannot be enforced when no one knows about them.

Part 3: Them Leaving

They left on my birthday.

So to get this out of the way, if they mention how their information is visible and thus should be respected, they are a hypocrite. My birthday is also visible across many platforms, yet despite apparently looking so highly upon me they left my server and was not able to be immediately contacted on that exact day. People don’t look that deep. People are lazy. You aren’t that special. I know I’m not, which is why I do not blame them for leaving on my birthday. However I will blame them or anyone if they try to claim having your information “easily” and publicly available makes me or anyone else not knowing if someone is gay, bi, trans, autistic, ADHD, a gender, how old they are, their race and so on is “disrespectful” and thus purposefully doing it. Having that information out there does not mean everyone knows it by default. Again, you are not that special.

Rainbow sent a message finally telling everyone that Fern was non-binary then left right afterwards.

I got in contact with them a few days later. I could no longer talk to them on Discord after they left because we didn’t share a server anymore and they blocked contact from non-friends and server-mates. It was understandable, we hadn’t added each other as friends and shared no other servers. I contacted them through tumblr instead.

When I could talk to Rainbow again, they told me there were three reasons why they left: Fern being misgendered, Lazy and Nova.

Now let me reiterate, Rainbow told no one that Fern was non-binary until maybe a few hours to even only some minutes before they left my server. No one refuted them correcting this, no one gave grief or hate, no one even had a chance to adjust to this information before they decided that they were going to leave over it anyway.

I do not care that Fern is non-binary. I am not saying Fern is a woman. I support that choice for that character.

Can anyone be blamed for misgendering them, though? A very heavily female coded character is presented. They are referred by the creator only as “they” but that does not instantly click for people to then ask about the character’s gender. If you try to claim you do, you are a liar. Males and females can be referred to as “they” as well. It is not an exclusive pronoun to non-binary people.

People, including myself, referred to Fern as a girl. Rainbow never corrected this.

My server is not a place LGBTQ+ is heavily enforced or being pertinent to knowing these things about people. It is up to the individual to ask or relay such information. I do not have an introductions channel or a channel to introduce OCs etc.

I noticed how upset Rainbow was becoming about Fern being misgendered to the point they made posts on their blog about Fern being non-binary and how female (and male) presenting characters can also be non-binary. I agree with this!

However we cannot expect people to be mind readers. We cannot expect people to go learn all the information about you and especially not about your character(s). It takes time for people to adjust to changes, especially those who are autistic or ADHD. Autism makes changes hard, and ADHD makes it hard to remember. However everyday people also can have troubles too and you cannot expect instant change.

There is also the fact that non-binary pronouns don’t even exist in some languages. So someone’s first language may cause them to not adjust quickly to the information. (For example: Shamura’s pronouns in French are he/him because non-binary does not exist in the language.) Some languages even gender objects.

You have to understand it is you against the world if you decide to get mad about people not knowing your character’s pronouns or gender, even your pronouns or gender. It must be shared, sometimes explicitly, and then a grace given for those that fumble. It is not a slight against you if someone slips up accidentally.

I say all this because this is what I was trying to say to Rainbow. I had less words and I admit I came on strong. I simply wanted to help. I didn’t want them to get stuck in the trap of thinking everyone is disrespecting them on purpose. It’s far more complex than that and sadly they are not that important.

I did say that they were upset about just a character. A character being misgendered upset them so much. It felt ridiculous to me. It wasn’t about them. None of the misgendering was malicious. But I should have approached it another way. I did not mean to dismiss their feelings, just to try and get them to see it in a different light. I wanted to apologize for how I approached the situation and I unfortunately let my frustrations out during our talk. You can go see yourself that I never insulted them or their beliefs. I didn’t even state how ridiculous I thought it was.

This whole situation is ridiculous and I don’t understand how it got this big other than malicious intent on Rainbow’s part and/or encouragement from their friends and acquaintances to make it bigger than it needed to be.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

I will address them mentioning Nova next. They only told me two things: One, they didn’t like that Nova drew a pin up of Fern and two, Nova made sexual implications to them in DMs.

I asked if they ever told Nova they didn’t like these things. They said no. What can be done if you don’t even tell someone they are bothering you?

I basically returned this. They needed to speak up and tell him to stop. If he continued afterwards then it shows he has malicious intent and is being disrespectful. Then I can get involved. I am not going to talk for them.

I know all of the drama around Nova and I will address it later in this post.

Lastly is Lazy.

The entire time Rainbow was in the server Lazy was also there. He was a mod, even. They interacted, even if it was only Lazy commenting on their artwork.

However Lazy wasn’t named Lazy Lamb at the time, he was named LewdLamb. No, it wasn’t to cover up his identity, it was a left over joke when I changed his name to HornyLamb and then he altered it to LewdLamb.

Something tells me Rainbow didn’t know Lazy was Lazy until he got demoted from mod status and left for a few days to cool down. When he returned and since then, he has reverted back to being Lazy Lamb.

This is where “boundary crossing” came into Rainbow and mine’s talk.

They told me Lazy was a bad person. “Many” people were hurt by him. I know about the debacle Cosmica caused against him. I do not believe how he acted towards Cosmica at the time was okay. However, I was also on the other side of it. I talked to Lazy and people she mistook for Lazy. She hurt them too.

But back to the conversation with Rainbow. I asked for proof of who and how he hurt them. Who else besides Cosmica had he hurt, because I did not know of him hurting anyone else. I heard about how he “bothered” others and how people listened to Cosmica and decided to block him, but nothing else.

They refused to answer, both on their past or of anyone else. They claimed it was not their place to speak for others, however how can I take the claim as true if I’m not shown proof or at least given a name of these other “victims” of his? I pressed because this was a serious matter. They were accusing my former mod of terrible things. I have a community I am responsible for. I did want to try to convince Rainbow to return to my server as well at the time, so I also wanted to dispel their worries and to fix the issues they were bringing up.

They kept trying to shut down the conversation. I wouldn’t allow it. They had brought up concerning things about my members and it needed to be addressed. I was willing to wait hours, days, until they could be calm and collect their thoughts. I encouraged them to take time to think. It is not evident in the screenshots because of the erasing of the hourly timestamps, but every time they said no and I urged for them to calm and think, they would return 30 minutes to an hour later once again telling me no and to fully drop the subject. I wouldn’t allow the subject to never be talked about again, it was too important to leave. Apparently my insistence was boundary crossing. To a degree, I agree. They asked me to stop and I did at the time, telling them to take their time and we’ll talk later. But they wanted to never speak of it again and I couldn’t allow that. Alas, it was important for me to learn what was going on and they were the accuser. They gave themselves the burden of proof by making such claims.

I wanted to help them. Help them be less insecure, to advocate for themselves, to speak up about their problems and to understand that the world isn’t out to get them, that there’s a lot of nuance to life. I do believe I came on strong. I should have been gentler. There is only so much one can do for someone convinced they’re a victim though. Someone who doesn’t want help and would prefer to stay in their comfort bubble, always being told they’re in the right and the world is just evil; not that they should also be understanding, open minded and seek solutions instead of retribution. They were arguably surrounded by people telling them to be the way they are, which leads me to what happened next.

(A note before that: I was once “asked” ((it was accusatory and shitty but anyway)) why Rainbow needed to be in my server. Looking back, I can see that it wasn’t necessary for them to return. However at the time not only did I not understand why they left, I wanted to then resolve the problem. They were telling me bad people were in my server leading them to leaving. I wanted them, and everyone to be comfortable and that is a reason I persisted.)

Part 4: A Talk With Cosmica

After probably another hour of silence, I suddenly found myself in a group conversation with Rainbow and Cosmica, of all people.

Allow me to preface this. I am not a fan of Cosmica. She has hurt many of my friends and otherwise is a class A bully of the CoTL community. I do not like her. I was wary of her from day one of joining this community and she has only strengthened my belief in that she is a terrible person over time. She is extremely judgemental, attention seeking, dramatic and weaponizes her audience to serve these terrible habits.

And she was brought to me to “tell her side” of the conflict with Lazy that led Rainbow to decide he wasn’t a good, or even an okay, person to be around.

I already knew what happened with her and Lazy. I told Rainbow this before being brought into a conversation with the woman herself. I didn’t need to hear her extremely judgemental side again, that was also public for everyone to see anyway.

I do not agree that what Lazy did towards Cosmica after being banned was okay. He should have left her alone.

But what led to him being banned was the most intolerant act I had ever seen. He was rightfully confused and mad. It does not justify his actions afterwards, however I do not condone Cosmica’s way of handling what was frankly just an awkward situation. He had no malicious intent. He was just kinda weird and he was punished for it and it’s sickening.

I did my best to keep my cool talking to Cosmica. She didn’t know everything. And I wanted to be open for Rainbow.

It was in this conversation that Cosmica told me of Rainbow’s pronouns. I was never told them, I said that. Another instance of Rainbow not advocating for themselves.

In fact, the entire chat was Cosmica talking for them. She told me I scared Rainbow. About the pronouns. About how Lazy had done something directly to Rainbow that they hadn’t told me about. How was I to do anything if I wasn’t being informed?

I was given a screenshot of what misdoings Lazy did to Rainbow. I disagree that it was anywhere near bad enough for Rainbow to want to run away from his presence.

He messaged them after he had been banned from a second server Cosmica had recently joined. Rainbow banned him, they were a mod with the privilege to ban. He asked why and they attempted to be vague but he hit the nail on the head that Cosmica had gone to Rainbow and “warned” them about him. They took Cosmica’s word at face value and banned Lazy without further investigation.

Disgusting.

He got mad at them for banning based on hearsay of the past and specifically because of his nay-sayer, Cosmica. He should not have “yelled” (used all caps) but you know what? I would be mad too if some bully of mine got me banned from somewhere without me being able to make my case and have recourse.

I told them both I didn’t find it so bad. Lazy has anger issues. We (Lazy and I) have gotten into “yelling” matches (via text) and we still could be friends and, oh, I dunno, talk things out? What he did wasn’t okay but how both Cosmica and Rainbow handled their situations were gross overreactions and he had a right to be angry.

On the topic of what Lazy did to Cosmica, I wanted to correct her that the reason she called out Lazy by name wasn’t his doing. I knew one of the others that contacted her during that time and they were worried what she was posting about was of them.

Well. Cosmica knew that it wasn’t Lazy. She figured out it was an old stalker of hers and Lazy had left her alone all this time. Did she ever correct this? Did she send me a link to her call out post (which she had ready to give to me instantly, even though she “deleted it but it’s been reblogged and she can’t delete those”--woman, you shouldn’t know where to find those anymore if you actually cared to stop this conflict) and then give me an immediate addendum that Lazy had been innocent in that situation? NO. Instead of admitting as publicly as she “called out” Lazy of her blunder, she kept it quiet and allowed his reputation to be ruined further, even straight to my face in this new instance. She wants him to continue to suffer.

So to recap: All Lazy did was talk about his dead pets at an inappropriate time which led to him being banned because he was “weird.” No correction. No recourse. He tried to contact Cosmica afterwards to ask why he was banned and to beg to be let back in. He got mad when she denied to explain nor revert the ban and he started to ban-evade and cuss at her. This is the only thing he did wrong in this situation in my opinion--but everyone will want to think this behavior makes them right in banning him--no it wasn’t.

She eventually became his aggressor. When he gave lament for how he acted towards her to someone who was apparently her friend, she unblocked him and told him off.

Then her stalker came back. She thought it was Lazy, but never confirmed it was him and later confirmed it was the stalker instead. She even claimed blocking Lazy’s IP address to keep him from contacting her, but that’s not something anyone can do. You can’t block people’s IP addresses from coming into contact with yours. You can block an IP address from accessing a website, but not being able to contact you. Plus, even if that was possible, VPNs exist. Regardless, I take her saying that as just another way of trying to be dramatic.

It took a third party to get Cosmica to talk to Lazy and inevitably for her to back off.

But let’s not forget she’s the victim! :)

Anyhow. With this and saying what he said to Rainbow wasn’t so bad, Cosmica (remember, she’s the only one talking this whole time) said that being “triggered” once is enough. In certain situations, I agree. And I must add I do not think Cosmica should “forgive” Lazy and they should reconcile. Rainbow overreacted and abused their power in my opinion, but I also do not think they should have to be friends with Lazy. I encouraged them to block him (and Nova) if they returned to my server. They cared too much about it being noticed that they would be ignoring the two. That could have been dealt with had it become a problem. I am the admin of my server, I take care of these issues. They didn’t trust me to do my job. Probably because of how they abused their power as a mod and how they have observed others do the same. It’s sad. They’re surrounded by people who back stab each other the moment they hear nay-say. It’s disgusting. However they participate so I can’t feel bad for them anymore. I’ll go over that more later…

The end of the conversation came. I relented. Fine. Rainbow didn’t need to come back to my server. I didn’t feel things had been resolved yet, but at least things could be over for now. I told my discontent with this ending and how my respect for Cosmica was on the floor but she earned some of it to lift it up a bit higher than it was.

This was when Rainbow finally spoke when not prompted to. They told me they quit and to never speak to them or “their friends” again. They removed Cosmica from the chat, then themselves.

Thank you for that, Rainbow. Now neither of you can screenshot our conversation and spin it against me. I don’t have access to it anymore either, so I’m recounting everything from memory. I like to think I have a very good memory though, and I stand by the truth. Everyone did something wrong, but none of it was deserving of what has come out of it.

I left it at that. I did not try to contact either of them again. (Okay. I shut Cosmica up when she vague posted about Lazy. She so kindly deleted the post and blocked me. That was it though.)

Then, MONTHS later, the debacle with Nova happened and Rainbow dragged me into it. :)

Part 4: The Call Out Post

I will talk on Nova later. We’re focusing on Rainbow right now, the one that started all of this.

And their “call out” post of me is where it started. They posted our private conversations and claimed I used them with my status (allow me to reiterate, I am LESS popular than them) and crossed their boundaries.

THAT’S IT.

Why, WHY couldn’t this have been talked about privately? If they still had an issue with me, my DMs were wide open. I never blocked them. Anywhere. They only blocked me on Discord. And instead of contacting me to talk things out, they followed the bandwagon of their toxic friends and attempted to slander me because I hurt their feelings.

I did try to ask for us to talk. I was sorry about what and how things happened. But I was RESPECTING THEIR BOUNDARY to not talk to them anymore before this. I only contacted them to plead to just take down their post and let’s talk. This was ridiculous. Why do you want to slander me? Why do you feel the need to make this private matter public? I was mildly on the defensive when contacting them, being very stern and professional because I know how these people work. I did hope being that way would make them back down. It was still a request and a bid for them to see reason. I should know better from a teenager to surrender when goaded on by such a toxic community, though. I wanted to hope.

They would not talk. I was dog-piled. Rumors began to spread about me. False rumors. Rainbow reblogged everything negative they could find about me. I could not win, I couldn’t even try to come to a truce. They stonewalled me.

I was sorry. I wanted to help. Alas there is only so much I can do with an uncooperative party. I shouldn’t have asserted to be help, I know. I can’t help it. I cared about them, I wanted better for them. But not everyone wants helps and facing the truth of your flaws can be seen as mean.

I am sorry for how I acted. But I am no longer sorry for anything else. They brought this upon themselves by not letting sleeping dogs lie and not reaching out to talk privately and maturely. They went nuclear to a very small, trivial situation and I refuse to pity them for deciding to attack instead of being diplomatic.

Talk out your problems. Tell people you have issues. Advocate for yourself. COMMUNICATE.

Of course it doesn’t end here though.

Part 5: I’m An Art Thief

No.

No I’m not.

I never was.

As I was attempting to deal with this whole absurd situation and my newfound attackers, I soon got anonymous asks on my comic blog telling me to take down the art Rainbow had done for me. I declined. It was not some random person’s place to tell me to do anything. I’m sure one of those anonymous asks was Rainbow but I refused because unlike everyone else in this community, I don’t listen to hearsay.

Rainbow eventually asked, via an ask, to take down their artwork.

I offered a deal. They take down their post about me and I’ll take down their art. They refused. I attempted to give reason. They basically just attacked me. I wasn’t going to roll over and let them have their way simply because they demanded it.

They went nuclear again. Posting about how I was refusing to take down the art and was a thief.

Let’s get one thing straight. Rainbow agreed to work for me. They received payment for the work they did. I had a right to keep that artwork up.

On top of that, I wasn’t slandering them. They had a watermark on the work. I credited them. I didn’t say a THING about them after our fall out.

Now before you say they made the art for me because they wanted to do it and so it doesn’t matter what payment they got, try saying that to a business and see where that gets you. THEY AGREED. THEY RECEIVED PAYMENT. IT IS NON-REFUNDABLE. Just because payment wasn’t monetary doesn’t mean it wasn’t a payment. You all would agree I have a right to that artwork had I paid with money, so why is this different? It is known as bartering and it is a legitimate payment method.

I did not explain this well in the moment to Rainbow or my aggressors when trying to give the reason I wasn’t budging. I am not good at arguing. It is very hard for me to formulate thoughts and points in the moment. I tried my best to state my case in the comments of the call out post and its reblogs.

You can’t take back goods you have been paid for simply because you no longer like the person. You, Rainbow, feigning ignorance does not make this fact go away.

But congrats. You still ripped your work away from me and have effectively stolen from ME now, via abusing the copyright system. I would have fought it if it had not been for the wording of the recourse saying I believed the claim to be a mistake. Because it wasn’t. It was absolutely purposeful. Congratulations on abusing the system like all the other scum does on youtube, falsely claiming things as theirs, then due to how busted the system is, most creators are fucked about getting it appealed. I was fucked because despite it being your art, I PAID FOR IT. I have a right to it. You agreed to this!

You are despicable. If I were not one strike away from my account being deleted because of you and/or I had the means to fight it, that art would be back up out of spite.

If you had come to me to talk things out, and had asked me to take the art down then I would have done it, having paid for it or not. I might’ve tried to reason with you to not do it. There was no point in my eyes. It wasn’t hurting you in any way to keep your art on my page. You were getting free publicity, you got credit, I didn’t slander you. Other than you not liking me and being petty in not wanting me to have something of yours on my page, I see absolutely no reason to need to take it down. It was a winning situation for you, Rainbow, but you clearly care too much about what others think and about getting revenge.

Let me reiterate too, that this entire time Rainbow did not block me anywhere else. They were hoping to use my responses in their slander against me. You learn from the best, don’t you? I used to think you were a victim of Cosmica and co. But now you’ve graduated to being one of them. Enjoy your tiny bubble of comfort, thinking everyone is out to get you. You bring it upon yourself. Congratulations on not only abusing the copyright system but also your own audience and connections, just like the drama queen herself. I will rue the day they all turn on you at the drop of a hat like they do with everyone else.

Learn to communicate and that people can’t read your damn mind.

Eventually I had enough as the rumors got worse and I blocked Rainbow and everyone involved in the situation in hopes of saving my mental health.

(Formerly) NovaArtz:

I need to bring up Nova because he was a part of this, even if it was only a catalyst to bringing a spotlight on me.

Let’s get some things straight: What Nova did to others was not okay. It was borderline, if not full on creepy, especially what he said to Cosmica. I do not condone him being so crass about sexual advances and content sharing.

People have done far worse and what he did was overblown, especially the part where he “targeted minors.” Guys. He didn’t. Just like I (and you, and everyone else) don’t go hunting down everyone’s gender and birthday, he didn’t know the ages of those he hurt that were minors. And, as soon as he found out their ages, he disengaged and stopped talking to them--at least in a sexual manner.

It does not absolve him of what he did. I still think it was wrong. However y’all need to get off your gossip trains for one second and look at the whole picture once in a while.

Speaking of gossip trains, I was also slandered for this debacle as well. I was shown the accusation Cosmica posted about Nova that started this whole mess in my server. As I was reading through it still, I commented how people can’t take a joke.

Let me explain. Firstly, I do not consider Cosmica a good person as stated before. She creates drama left and right, and as such, I take everything she says with a massive pile of salt. I was already rolling my eyes at her pointing a finger at Nova. While I was ready to not believe her, I was still investigating the situation to form my own opinion.

Secondly, I had, again, still been reading through everything but I was making comments as I read. The particular moment I have been having thrown at me telling me I’m a terrible person for, I was reacting in the moment. I was groaning at someone who had made a claim against Nova, particularly trying to say he “targeted minors” as she was one. He, at one point, replied to one of her posts talking about how she was tired, didn’t want to go to bed, or something along those lines. His reply was of an image of a tranquilizer gun with him “threatening” her to go to bed. It. Was. A. Joke. She was showing this particular interaction as a strike against his character. I thought it was funny. So I said that in my server: People can’t take jokes these days.

Everything I said in my server at that time was a knee-jerk, in the moment reaction. And guess what? Someone else had a knee-jerk reaction to my reaction and decided to take my developing opinion comments, screenshot them and throw them in my face, claiming I thought everything Nova did was “just a joke.” I do not think that. To take my words out of context like that is ridiculous and one of the many things wrong with this damn community, and the internet as a whole.

One more time. Nova did wrong. He has said he will change. I, personally, am giving him the opportunity to change and the moment he has proven he hasn’t, he is just as admonished from my server as he has been everywhere else. However, that also means people need to speak up (looking at you, Rainbow) to both their aggressors and tell the people that can help them.

FoxBoiTunes:

I know close to nothing of what FoxBoi is like, but what I do know is that they are a hypocrite and a liar.

Pretty much as soon as my talk with Cosmica (and Rainbow was there too) was over, they announced their leave in my server. I tried to pretend it wasn’t related and tried to ask why they wanted to leave. It got brought up that they “didn’t want to get involved in drama” and yet chose a side without hearing both.

It’s so gross how this community expects everyone to be just as disgusting as them. But honestly, I’m an outlier, a black sheep if you will, though no one believes me.

FoxBoi, you actively participated in “the drama” by taking action.

Then after Rainbow made their call out post, you not only participated in “the drama” again by sharing our brief, private conversation, but then you shared a complete and utter blatant lie in an attempt to slander me.

You claimed that I did what I “did” to you by asking why someone left. Fair. I asked like two other people the same before. However the lie comes in where you state this “friend” of yours had left because I shared an image depicting rape, and I was going after them for it?

This. NEVER. Happened.

Not once have I posted an image OR story of rape in my server. I have never “gone after someone” for leaving my server, especially not in that kind of manner like I was attempting to silence or shame them. I asked why in hopes of seeing if I can make something better for them to return. If I received a no, I accepted it and moved on. So, either your “friend” was lying to get in on the “me too” pick-mes of drama or YOU lied for that exact reason.

You decided not only to participate in the drama like the hypocrite you are, but you added fuel to the fire with blatant lies. You are disgusting. I don’t care if you weren’t the one to make it up, the fact you spread it without proof just to make me more of a villain is despicable and are everything wrong with the culture you and your SJW friends perpetuate in this community.

You outright refuse to hear both sides of a situation even when offered and then share whatever drivel you hear at face value, not caring if it’s true or not. It feeds your confirmations bias so you believe it without looking into it. Or assuming this “friend” of yours doesn’t exist, YOU hope people take your lies at face value to keep that juicy dopamine and serotonin inducing drama flowing for you to see the carnage of.

You are deplorable. I will never speak to you again, even if you realize the mistake you made and the harm you cause and perpetuate. Even if you come to me groveling to apologize. You are undeserving.

Fuck you.

KaiFan

I don’t have much to say about KaiFan, but I bring them up because they brought me up.

I have this person blocked, along with Rainbow and co because they would rather listen to the gossip train than learn about the situation, ask questions and form their own opinions.

I groveled to you already. You have always been passive aggressive and it was what caused me to lose my patience with you in the past. I have apologized for this. I will not continue to grovel.

I never knew how much you looked up to me and I am not going to take responsibility for the image of me you created alone, on your own time, in your own head.

I did have a cancer scare. When I brought it up, I was not trying to shut down the conversation, I was trying to get you to understand what I am putting aside to try to help you and you were being, well, passive aggressive. I let the conversation end when you volunteered it because I knew my patience was already gone and I didn’t want to make you feel worse. I did want to help you. I let my observations boil until you gave me permission to tell you them, and I did not handle it well letting it out. That part was my fault, I admit that.

Continuing about how I spoke of cancer in the past: I don’t know when this was, but when I spoke about cancer before my own scare, it was likely about my Gramma. Who is dead. Because of cancer. I was likely trying to relate, not take over the conversation. That is a very autistic thing to do, to mention one’s own experiences as a way to relate.

I won’t condone you spreading rumors and lies about me, KaiFan, which is why I blocked you. You had me right there to talk to about all of this. You had every opportunity to ask me what was going on and to tell me your thoughts and feelings. Instead you chose to hop on the bandwagon and make everything public. I won’t allow that to happen again.

I hope you get better, however you still need to be a better person too.

Finally, I “Encourage Incest”

While this doesn’t have to do with Rainbow or the rest of the situation, as I am currently trying to defend myself I thought it relevant to put this here as well.

So. Yeah. This is ridiculous. No I do not.

Not once have I done this. Please, I challenge you to find anywhere I have said “you should fuck your sister/brother/mother/father etc,” or “check out incest bro it’s great,” or any derivative of that.

This community baffles me with its so-called morals. Just because I say it should be okay (not that I do) to ship the Bishops with each other (whom are not blood related) or Baal or Aym with Narinder, everyone gets their moral panties in a knot and claims incest. I have not said you should ship these characters. I have not said you need to. I have not said I want to. It should simply be okay to. They are not blood related! Get over it!

I am also not saying you should ship actual incestuous pairings, like Baal and Aym with each other, with their mom, Clauneck with Chemach or Kudaii. And, y’know what, if you come across people that do, leave them alone because they’re fictional fucking characters and let people have fun??

It is great if you see the Bishops as family! If you see Baal and Aym as adoptive sons to Narinder! I can see that too! I do like them as a family! I’m just saying if people do ship them together (or in my case are simply okay with it), it, firstly, is not “encouraging incest” and secondly shouldn’t be so damn polarizing as it is! How is it that a game that has: alcohol, drugs, brainwashing, murder, abortion (by some people’s standards), forced and arranged marriage, sex, arranged sex, indoctrination, cannibalism, slavery, stealing, trafficking, nudism, polygamy, polyamory, and I could go on, that perceived and by definition not actual incest is the line everyone draws as being the worst thing ever?

Get over yourselves and let people have fun!

Last words

I am not a saint. I am not innocent in all of this. I know I have done wrong. What came of my blunders was blown way out of proportion though. All of this should have been a series of private conversations. Instead we have everyone reveling in the drama they create and enjoying others being hurt.

All comments on this post, regardless of what they say, will be deleted. I will not accept limited character discussion about this. Either you need to reblog this in its entirety or talk to me privately if you want to make comments. I will block people the moment they show they are not coming to talk and only want to throw insults and accusations.

Please, learn to communicate. Talk things out. Give chances. Understand.

No one mentioned needs to forgive me, to forgive others, to be forgiven. I don’t believe in forgiveness. Alas, I do believe in understanding and moving on, and doing so in a mature and calm manner. But as this was made a public matter, I needed to explain what happened as my aggressors will never own up to such things.

I will do my best to learn and grow from this. I want to be better. It is hard though. I am far from perfect. I want to do right by the people that look up to me, alas it is those that looked up to me and found I wasn’t up to the image they made of me that this whole situation started. Don’t look up to me. I am an imperfect, struggling human being with anxiety, depression and autism. I am not strong. I will keep going though.

Thank you for your time.

[otomiyaa]

Profile Tag Game 💕

Hello - Lol hi I'm Ginny and this is a fun something I was about to do on my previous blog, and I remembered it! So I decided to still do it here. It's a random self introduction based on genshin impact character profiles! Maybe even a better fit for me to do it on this new account.

Chat: Tickling - I may have said this before, but I am a very bad tickler. In fact, I can barely remember tickling anyone properly so far in my life. I've done some quick pokes and scribbles, but I just can't go much further than that. Everything I wrote in my fics and hcs is just pure creativity and imagination. Not experience.

When It Rains - I get all cozy when I'm indoors and it's raining, like right now! But when I have to go out, it can make me frown and whine a lot.

When It Snows - I hope I don't fall down... I've got quite a number of experiences already, of slipping and falling in the snow.

Good Night - It's almost 1 AM. I should probably go to sleep. Ah, I'm too wide awake at night these days. And too tired during mornings hahaha.

About Me: Language - I speak Dutch, English, and Japanese and in all languages I sometimes struggle with formality levels at work. Especially when Japanese people call me by my first name without 'san', I am like..!!!! It's always a challenge to find the perfect balance of not being too impolite, and not being too formal and distant. I get the feeling I worry more about language and formality aspects than others.

Something to Share: Subscriptions - I've actually got way too many subscriptions running - Cinema, Spotify, Netflix, HBO Max, Amazon Prime, Disney+, Nintendo Switch Online, and Just Dance+. I kinda pay too much for things I don't always need, but I do need them a little and can't get myself to cancel any, even when they shamelessly increase their prices. Does it make me a money disaster? Hm.

My Hobbies: Journaling - My friends and I all have bullet journals and working on those while chatting and listening to some music is one of the most calming and satisfying things in life for me.

My Troubles - Needing a new laptop so I can play games like The Sims and Honkai Star Rail, but my current laptop isn't so old yet. Also, the Taylor Swift store doesn't ship to the Netherlands, I cry.

Favorite Food - Sushi, bibimbab, spaghetti with meatballs.

Least Favorite Food - Cheese.

About @ticklygiggles - On June 16, 2016, Mia sent me a message on Tumblr, starting a conversation. I messaged her back, and from that moment on we just... talked daily, grew closer and closer, watched anime together, wrote fics together, called and sent voice messages, and last month for the first time we FINALLY were able to play genshin together (Mia made a new acc because we weren't on the same server, huhu dedication girl). We did the Heart Island thing in Mia's world.

About @ragewerthers - We talked about it recently but our friendship started so smoothly and sudden. I was reminded it was because of Ragewerthers getting randomly shadowbanned on Tumblr, as well as our mutual interest in the soccer anime Days, Final Fantasy XV and Minecraft.

Tagging some fellow genshin fans @ticklygiggles @wertzunge @lovelynim @shy-lee-chu @eliankrios @xsezzie @kusuguricafe @fuckparty and ofc anyone else who would like to do it:) Feel free to add more / use other lines or do literal voice-overs! I'll stick to just text hehe.

[dreaming-of-lu]

Hello!

I really liked one of your works, where First overheard reader talking to themselves and I was wondering if you could make a continuation for it. Thank you:)

A/N: Hiya! Glad to know you liked it! Hope you enjoy this! also a tag to @my-insanity-is-an-artform , come get yer tall glass of water!

First made you feel so many things at once. A truly, kind gentleman that others dreamed of in a significant other. Daring, dashing, a warrior and all. Enough to make anyone tongue-tied, staring up at him with wide eyes as he towered over them. His etiquette made the village girls giggle behind their hands.

First was the textbook definition of what a true hero was. Though, there were some downsides to this. Sometimes, the man was clueless in not understanding that he came off more than he thought. His charisma was a death sentence, a blessing, and a pain, all tied together in a pretty bow.

"He's not good for me, for my health," you muttered, "seriously, him and his blue puppy eyes, what am I thinking?"

You glared into the champagne glass while taking small glances at First, standing beautifully in the middle of a circle of women and men. The lights on the chandelier made him ethereal, drawing your gaze back at him; no matter how much you forced yourself to look away, he always seemed to drag them back onto him.

First was beautiful, there's no denying that; pale blonde wind-swept bangs that begged for your hands to play with, pale eyelashes over icy blues that were powerful and intense with a glance but were so soft whenever they landed on you. Wait, he was looking at you.

"You might wanna go save our dear friend from their clutches," a voice piped up beside you. It sounded distant to your ears cause all you could see was those blues drawing you into its sea.

First gives a shy smile before one of the women in the circle grabs onto his arm, drawing his attention away. A strong emotion came forth, deep from within,

"Hold my glass real quick; I'll be right back," shoving the glass into their hands without looking back as you walked into the circle, gently grabbing First hand.

"First," why did you sound breathless? His eyes went to you, silent appreciation in his eyes that made your skin tingle and your heart pound stronger than ever before. Swallowing thickly, you turned to the circle, silently cheering in your head as they looked at you with vague disgust and upset at your sudden appearance.

'He's not a fucking toy.' You thought bitterly.

"Apologies to you, ladies and gentlemen, but there is something that requires Sir Link's attention at this instant."

Turning on your heel with First hand in yours, you lead him away from the vulture's sight.

"Dear," it sounded so distant with how hard your heart was pounding and the blood rushing through your ears.

'How dare they? Treat him as if he's a trophy, a toy for them to play. Only wanting him for his looks and not understanding the sacrifices he had to make. Damnit, First, you and your smoochable face.'

A rough palm with such gentleness roused you from your ranting thoughts. Worried blues stared into you, peeling back every anger, concern, disgust, and jealousy spinning on its axis to an abrupt halt.

"What about my smoochable face?" 

What?

"Huh?" You blinked as the proud, tall-standing hero shrunk underneath your gaze, reducing into a flustered mess, rubbing the back of his neck and averting your eyesight.

"My apologies, you said my smoochable face, and I-"

"And you what," your voice breathily shrill. The quietness is loud that the sound of a needle could be heard dropping onto the ground.

"I- um, may or may not have," First clears his throat, inhaling deeply, "overheard you from before when you were ranting about me and my face."

First grimaced at the sight of your face.

Oh.

Oh, this was seriously going to be a long conversation.