#(also i'm devastated that we'll probably never see her again :( )

[dear-buttercup]

So... I got a pen display and this is my first masterpiece on it 😌

[lokideservesahug]

Perfect pair

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-Pairings: Lewis Hamilton x famous!actress!Reader

Warnings: Maybe a swear word or two, idk. There is loads of mentions of dogs so Im sorry if you're allergic :(.

Notes: I saw a tik tok (by the user ayloparis) about celebrities seen on raya, the celeb dating app. And Lewis was just there (middle photo above)!?!? And it stuck in my mind (also Ben Hardy was there aswell, how random).

Summary: When you moved to Monaco, the last thing you expected was your greatest fan and a fan of a race car driver to almost force you to go on a date with said F1 driver. But when you find that same man on a dating app, it doesn't hurt that talk to him; especially because he's so gorgeous.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

Yourusername: Great awards weekend with an even better ending of going home to my best friend🤍

Liked by hamm4rtim4, thelomlyn and 3,987,091 others

View all comments

User1: Girls be saying the most heartfelt, sweetest things ever about someone and that someone ends up being their dog...

↳Yourusername: 😮It's me! I'm girls!

↳User2: Dont blame you tbh. I also love your dog Y/N

User3: One of these days, She'll post a soft launch (it'll never happen)

↳User4: Nothing can ever get rid of her baby from her posts!

Thelomlyn: Y/NNNNNNNN?

↳ Yourusername: You're back!!

↳ Thelomlyn: You know it. Also its probably a stretch but you know you said that you'd trust me with almost anything?

↳ Yourusername: OH no... But yeah?

↳ Thelomly/n: Well a friend of mine (hamm4rtim4) and I think we've found the perfect guy for you

↳ Yourusername: Oh... I'm intrigued. Who do you think this guy perfect for me is then?

↳ Hamm4rtim4: Sir Lewis Hamilton

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

📍Circuit de Monaco, Monte Carlo

Yourusername: What a great weekend! El made a new friend @roscoelovescoco. And well done to his dad @lewishamilton for managing to get the win, it was an amazing race. 🤍

Liked by Lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco and 3,678,905 others

View all 6,876 comments

Roscoelovescoco: It's was lovely's to see's you's!

↳ Yourusername: And it was lovely to see you. Although I think El misses you already. She looks devastated without you!

↳ Roscoelovescoco: Well's we've God's to see's you's soon then!

↳ Yourusername: I wouldn't have it any other way🤍

↳User1: Awww that's so adorable

↳User 2: Lewis x Y/N and Roscoe x El. It's meant to be!!!

Lewishamilton: Thank you for your support (and for dogsitting Roscoe).

↳ Yourusername: Any time. And like I said we'll done, you did truly brilliantly this weekend 🤍

↳ Lewishamilton: ❤

↳User3: And so we're meant to believe that they aren't dating!?!?!?!?

↳User4: Ikr. They make such a good (and attractive pair)

Liked by Lewishamilton

User5: Idk why they hid it. Because if I was dating acadamy award winning actress Y/N Y/L/N, I'd never shut up about it.

Liked by Lewishamilton

↳User6: LEWIS LIKING OMD. That has to be a PR concern? RIGHT!??!?!

Mercedesamgf1: Thank you for all of your support this weekend, glad to see you found the right team to support first time. 🖤

↳ Yourusername: It wasn't difficult when you have a certain Hamilton to convince me!

↳ Mercedesamgf1: 🤨

↳ Yourusername: Yeah Roscoe is the best person in the sport!!!

↳User7: Even admin is suspicious lmao

↳User8: She thinks she's so sly...

User9: I'm just saying if they get together, then their dogs can live together and they can all live happily ever after.

Liked by Lewishamilton, yourusername

User10: Lewis likeing all of the comments about him and Y/N is so unserious yet kinda sweet.

↳User11: Like yeah he wants to show her off and let their dogs have kids as they grow old together (they aren't 100% dating)

↳User12: Awww them growing old together with their little bulldogs is adorable

Liked by yourusername

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Lewishamilton

Lewishamilton: Thank you everyone for helping me to get in that top step once again. Its been really tough the past few years but by putting lots of time and effort in it clearly payed off.

Thank you to all the mechanics for your endless work. Thank you to Toto for putting up with my constant feedback, thank you George for helping defend and let me keep that top position today. And most importantly, thank you to my 'personal cheerleader' Y/N. Who has helped to support me, bring me joy and just be a beacon of hope throughout the turbulent season start. I love you ❤

Liked by Yourusername, Mercedesamgf1 and 5,897,098 others

View all 57,764 comments

Yourusername: Love you Lew. You're amazing🤍

↳ Lewishamilton: ❤

↳User1: Awww they've been hiding in plain sight (everyone knew)

User2: Shut up that is adorable. And I love the Y/N effect. You can't have a photo dump without El

↳Yourusername: Why would you want to? Unless it has Roscoe in (I love that dog sm)

↳Roscoelovescoco: Awww's I's love's you's too's

Mercedesamgf1: Felling left out rn🥲

↳User3: I love you admin

↳User4: Well done admin

↳Yourusername: We love you admin

↳Mercedesamgf1: Aww thanks guys. Love you more!

User5: Whoever would have expected this!?!?!? Me. I did.

User6: Does this mean we'll get Lewis in a blockbuster film

↳ Yourusername: He can sing, he can dance... question is, can he act?🤔

User7: This is such a random pairing. I love it.

↳ Yourusername: You can thank @thelomlyn and @hamm4rtim4 for that

↳ Lewishamilton: Thank you you two

↳Thelomlyn: I think you just killed @hamm4rtim4. Oh my gosh. This is unreal.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading! As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Also my inbox is open if you ever have a request!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee

[railingsofsorrow]

Late Night Talking

[spencer reid x reader]

[SONG INSPIRATION » LATE NIGHT TALKING by harry styles]

summary: Your body language was too familiar for him to erase. And he wouldn't be able to do it if he tried. Eidetic memory and all.

“Have you ever been scared of the future?”

“Multiple times.”

“What made you move on?”

“I haven't.”

pairing: s.reid x fem!bi!reader

w.c: 4.5K

warnings/content: exes with feelings trope (and maybe eventually lovers again); angst; yearning; tw!mentions of anxiety, tw!depression, tw!PTSD; reminiscing past relationships; insecurities; fear of being left alone; taking things into perspective; late night conversations in the park; reader has/had someone but the name is never mentioned, just a pronoun; conversations about breakups; an argument; open ending.

[ part of the “harry styles anthology” ]

A/N: this was supposed to be for a writing challenge but I missed the deadline so here it is anyway. through this one shot is how I introduce the harry styles anthology.

A/N²: it will probably be a multichapter song series but I'm not sure yet. hope you enjoy it, I spent some time on this lol.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“To love someone is firstly to confess: I'm prepared to be devastated by you.”

[ billy-ray belcourt, a history of my brief body ]

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Something had shifted in you that week.

At first, Spencer thought it was the last case. The team had spent four days straight searching for the suspect and the outcome wasn't successful. The scenes were still gripped onto his brain — that's the bad part about having an eidetic memory, he could never forget anything.

It might have been that, but your far-away gaze and the constant biting into your nails told him that wasn't the only reason. Spencer didn't need to profile you to acknowledge when you were distressed about something. You had a tell: the avoidance when looking in someone's eyes; scratching your left eyebrow repeatedly. Many other things as well, sometimes he just had to hear you breathe a certain way and he'd know.

Your body language was too familiar for him to erase. And he wouldn't be able to do it if he tried. Eidetic memory and all.

There was a certain melancholy wavering in your eyes. He could see it so clearly and he wondered if Penelope did it too and that's the reason she kept on insisting that you'd go hang out with all of them. Have shots, dance a little, let loose.

Spencer recognised her intentions but he also saw the will to just take off in your retracting step.

He approached the two of you slowly.

“We'll meet you there.” He said to her, giving you a glance at the corner of his eye. No one would have noticed it right away, maybe if they were paying attention to him closely. It was quick, so quick you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't looking for a way out and he appeared just at the right moment. He saw your throat move as you swallowed hard, knuckles tight as you held onto the strap of your bag. Your shoulders relaxing slightly in his presence.

“Oh,” the blonde blinked, gaze traveling from you to Spencer as if she knew something you didn't. “Okay. We'll see you there then.”

It didn't go unnoticed by him the way multiple pairs of eyes followed you two as you walked out of the Bureau. Spencer chose to ignore their noisy behavior and focus on your shaky hands and fast steps.

He called out your name with apprehension, causing you to spin around to face him. Folding your arms across your chest, your demeanor switched from nervous to a more comfortable one. "Sorry, I just— I don't really feel like going out tonight."

"You don't have to justify yourself to me," He gave you a soft smile. "Do you want to talk?"

It wasn't like before — the two of you. Does anything ever stay the same? His life proved him the answer was no. Your relationship changed a lot after your break-up; it was bound to. You went from spending entire days together, living in the same apartment, to not facing each other at work because it was too painful. It wasn't until a few months ago that he and you started to get closer again, rekindling your friendship.

Spencer didn't think he could bear not having you in his life at all, he'd rather you be there despite the distance.

"You can go, Reid," You said softly. "Thank you for getting me out of that but you don't have to stay."

"I don't really feel like going out either." He shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. You huffed out a laugh and something in his chest burst.

"You used me to free yourself from a night-out, Doc?" His widened eyes reminded you of a puppy. "I'm joking." You said with a mild smile before he could start apologizing frantically. You knew that look and you knew what came right after.

Spencer was your rock at some point. You've relied on him more ways than you could count. That would've been fine if you didn't go overboard with it. In your worst times, Spencer was there. He helped you stand up, to be yourself. But once you crawled down a rabbit hole of nothingness, there was no anchor that would be able to hold you back to the shore. And you almost dragged him down with you. Before that happened, you pushed him away. That was the hardest thing you had to do.

“If you don't want to talk, can I at least drive you home?”

That's how you ended up on the passenger side of your car, the street lights flashing before your eyes as the car moved on to the avenue. The trees were all but a blur, except for when you looked close enough. They'd slow down with you, almost as if time had freezed.

“There's some Mozart in there.” You referred to the car radio while leaning back and shutting your eyes. You didn't feel like crying anymore, just plainly sad. You wanted to hear his voice, you wanted him to ramble about statistics concerning snakes or geometry, you didn't care. “Spencer.”

“Mhm?”

“Have you ever been scared of the future?”

You felt the car stop, when you flutter your eyelids open, the red light reflected upon the windshield.

“Multiple times.”

“What made you move on?”

“I haven't.” He said quietly, staring at your keychain. It was still the same little howling wolf attached to the moon. He had gifted that to you on your fifth date when you visited the Planetarium. You loved Astronomy so he thought it would be the perfect place to take you. The keychain has been attached to your car keys since that night, among other things that remained exactly the same, not exactly in the physical aspect. “I'm just not scared at this particular moment.” He stole a glance at you, caught off guard when he saw you already staring back.

Your lips twitched, “Me neither.” The green light flickered on and he turned the street. The distance from your apartment wasn't that far from Quantico, twenty-five minutes at most. Now you just wished the time didn't pass at all. “Can you turn left here?”

The car slowed down.

“You want to go to the park?”

You nod, preparing to hop off. “You can just drop me off and head home.” That park was a five minute walk to your place, you didn't need your car to get home anyway and you'd be fine taking the subway tomorrow.

He didn't mind your words, as soon as the engine halted, he waited for you to step out before trailing after you.

His stubbornness wasn't strange to you but you still quirked a brow at it.

That swing hadn't moved since the day you moved into Montclair. The whole park grew to have more slides, a brand new seesaw, and a makeshift maze for kids. Fortunately, the swing remained.

“I'm gonna push you.” Spencer said, standing from his swing to walk behind yours. You snickered, tilting your head back to stare at his overexcited expression. “I won't do it too harshly.”

His careful tone made you feel like a little kid back at elementary school.

That had been your third date, you had invited him to meet your place. You watched an entire season of Doctor Who and he slept over. That's all you ever did, really. And talk the whole night, sharing stupid jokes and deep secrets. The weekend was spent with you showing Spencer all of your favorite spots in the neighborhood.

“You can see Ursa Minor so clearly from here.”

“Draco and Cepheus are right there too.” You mumbled, leaning your cheek on the cold swing chain, attention uplifting to the sky.

“Did you know that despite containing third and fourth magnitude stars Cepheus has no Messier objects? And no meteor showers associated with it as well.”

With your eyelashes fluttering lazily, a warm feeling stretched over your chest. These were the effects of Spencer's presence, whenever you were around him your mind would rest with none of that spiraling it was doing an hour ago. Indulging in his topic, he rambled about constellations for a while before the pitch of his voice lowered to a soft tone upon seeing your eyes fluttered shut.

“I should get you home. You need to sleep.”

“I slept alright at the hotel.”

“I saw you walking around at 1 a.m,” Spencer shakes his head. “Your eyes were dropping on our way back, you are barely standing awake.”

“Thanks for the compliment, handsome. I feel the love.”

He chose to ignore the mocked flattering. “I can stay over until you fall asleep.”

Tempting offer. And an unfair one, too. To him, that is. Spencer made you feel safe, he made you feel grounded and level headed. That never changed. But things weren't like they used to be and you weren't about to ask him to stay over because you were a coward. Figuratively and literally speaking.

“I'm fine, Spencer.” You are too good for your own good.

The moonlight created a curtain against your features, your eyelashes shadowing your cheeks and the tip of your nose. You looked both peaceful and exhausted. He was only trying to help but you were too stubborn.

“I don't think I'm able to make someone happy.”

Spencer isn't foreign to late night confessions. He's done it himself. Our body's melatonin increases during the night which connects with the less light input to the SCN – area of the suprachiasmatic nucleus. To put it simply, our system is put to sleep mode, alerting us that we need to rest because the day is coming to an end. Our thoughts are slightly fuzzy and we don't retain much control of our actions. That's why people do stupid things at nighttime; well, one of the reasons, he cannot vouch for every single person and what happens in their brains.

That also relates to intrusive thoughts, they tend to come in as we're setting in to sleep, creeping up on the vulnerable hour.

You've shared a lot with each other. You have confided in him some of your darkest thoughts, as he has. He knows things about you that nobody else does and vice-versa. However, he had never heard you say that before.

“There's a lot to love about you.” The conviction in his tone made you cast him a careful look. He couldn't be that sure, could he? Not anymore.

“You've dated me, you're inclined to agree with me on this,” you said, nudging his arm playfully. He could see past that façade like a blink of an eye.

“That doesn't make sense.” His brows furrowed as he turned to you. “You've always been kind and strong and passionate about anything you do. Including loving somebody. You've stood by me when I couldn't stand by myself and you never once left. Even if you should have.”

You blink up at him in shock, slightly more aware of your surroundings. "Reid," But he cuts you off before you can say anything else.

“... And it's not only about the things you did but how when you enter a room, everything lights up,” his eyes soften and the edge of his lips barely quirk up. “I know that was a cliche thing to say, but that's all I could think whenever you would come in every morning. You make everyone's days better by just being there. By being you. So don't say you're not able to make someone happy. Because you make me happy even after—” his voice trails off. He doesn't face you but you can see the way his gaze drifts unfocused to his feet. His mind taking him back. And you are taken back, too.

It's no news that your line of work is heavy. Each casefile weighs on your hands as it does in your heart. But it's your job and you've been doing this for years, you're used to it.

Wrong. You never get used to it. And some days you can't go back to yourself as easily. So you push people away. You ended up pushing him away too.

“I'm just tired of fighting.” You state, tiredly running a hand through your face.

Spencer tosses his go-bag on the loveseat, loosening his tie with a frown. “We don't fight." He says shortly. "You're never here, how could we fight? You're never here at all. We barely hold a conversation.”

You visibly flinch, “Spencer, that's not true.”

“It is. And you know it is. You've been delaying this for three months. I can't just carry on like that, you have to speak to me. Just— just speak to me. please? I'm right here.” His frustration is thrown out the window when he finally looks at you. You had a forlornness expression on your features and he wanted more than anything to drive it away.

“I'm not." You let out in a breath. "I don't know where I am, Spencer.”

“Let me help finding you." He begged, taking one of your hands on his. There was something irrevocably broken within you two. He could feel it. "I can do it. You just have to let me be there.”

“I can't. I can't do it. I'm sorry.”

Just like that, it was over. You took a leave of absence from work and disappeared out of the radar for about two months. It was outlandish staying away from your routine, you missed the mess and your people every single day. You missed Spencer more than your heart could take. When you came back, you felt as if you could breathe once again. This time, you didn't choke on the truth or felt as if darkness was swallowing you. Maybe you just needed some time to find yourself.

Now, you were losing that again.

“She asked me to go to France with her.”

Spencer turned to you, head tilting forward so the chains didn't get in the way of his line of sight. He knew whom the her referred to in the sentence. You had started dating someone recently. Spencer knew who she was because she acted as a consultant in a case a long time ago. He'd occasionally see her around the department, Penelope was her friend and you were her girlfriend, it wasn't that unusual.

He watched you fall in love again. Move on. But you stayed friends so that's what mattered to him. He'd rather have you platonically than lose you forever. You walked into his life and took a piece of his heart without asking, he couldn't handle being away from you permanently.

Was that about to happen? Were you going to France to live a new life and leave it all behind?

“And what did you say?” He kicked a rock, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Silence overflows in your conversation, helping Spencer's anxiety to spike up.

“What am I supposed to do in France being completely ignorant with French, Reid.” You said, giving him a half laugh as you swayed on the swing. He opened his mouth and closed it twice, confusion causing his forehead to curl in the middle.

“English might not be widely spoken in France, but approximately 57% of the French population speaks it to a conversational level.” He pauses. “You would get by alright.” He mumbles quietly, drawing an uneven circle form on the sand with his shoe. It didn't even make sense that you'd decline that opportunity because your French wasn't good.

“Spencer.”

“Mhm?”

He didn't look at you, too busy paying attention on the ground like a toddler who's lost his toy. Rolling your eyes, you pushed his swing harshly to the side, gaining a height-pitched yelp. A full belly laugh blossomed out of you.

“This is bullying.” He remarks, narrowing his eyes at you as his swing stabilized. The corner of his lips betrayed him almost immediately.

Your eyes acquire a spark of amusement. “I'm not going, Spencer,” you said. “It was never my plan to leave here. Not for good, at least.”

“So, you're staying?”

“Yes.”

You waited for the question but he never said it, so you carried on. “We broke up.”

“Oh,” he breathed out. A sudden urge to hold you ignited in him. “How are you?”

“I'm okay.” You offered him a soft smile. It's not like you weren't affected by the break-up, you just enjoyed it while it lasted. And though you never reached the stage of falling in love, it was good. It just made you think that as another cycle came to an end, you were stuck in a limbo. Were you capable of making someone happy? Or did you only leave bad memories through someone else's life? Were you their bad part? The one they'd rather not remember?

There's a lot to love about you.

“I'm sorry that I hurt you.”

Spencer glanced at you, stunned.

“Why would you—”

You interrupt him with a shake of your head, “No, Spencer. I've never— We've never talked about it. But I need you to know that falling out of love wasn't the reason why I ended things between us.” His gaze was attentive and you bit your lip before you let out the next words. “I was hurting and I needed to heal on my own. I know that I had you, I know that. But I didn't want to drag you down with me. What if—What if I made it worse? What if I just destroyed that idea you had of me because I couldn't pick myself up?” You huffed out a shaky breath. That wasn't an easy topic. It had never been. “I'm sorry. The truth is that I didn't want you to see me the way I saw myself. It would... wreck me. That and— I was needing you to simply breathe. You were the only thing that kept me going, I couldn't just put that weight on you, it wasn't fair.”

You heard your name being said in a plea but you carried on. You had to get it all out before you regret it.

“... the day I let you go was the hardest day of my life. But it was necessary.” You paused, your eyes had that familiar stinging sensation. “I'm sorry, Spencer. I know you blame yourself, but it was really all my fault.”

“I know why you did it.”

You locked your gaze to his, eyes widening in bewilderment “What?” you asked, voice failing slightly. Of all the things you expected to hear, those words weren't one of them.

Spencer lined up his shoes on the sand, his forehead twitching before he started speaking.

“I know why you— why we broke up.” He needed to correct himself because even though you were the one responsible to call it quits, he was just as responsible for letting you go. “I saw the signs, you know? They were written in neon lights to me but I didn't know what to do so I just had to—” he let out a sigh, feeling guilty at what he was about to say. But he had to say it, it's been so long and he has that bottled up for such a long time. “You didn't let me be there. I knew you were struggling and I could see you weren't being yourself but you just left while being right there.”

You stayed quiet, you've been waiting to hear his words on this. That conversation should have happened a long time ago.

“What I'm trying to say is that, it hurt. I didn't wait for it to happen—I never wanted it to happen,” he finally glanced up at you. “... but I know why it happened and I don't blame you for it, I need you to understand that.”

Your face morphed into puzzlement, “Spencer, how can you not blame me?”

“You needed space.” Those were your exact words that night and he knew the meaning behind them. “And I know what it feels like to feel suffocated by love when you can't give it back at that moment. The guilt and the shame; I know those.”

Suddenly, it was like you were staring at the Spencer from all those nights ago. The one to whom you told you needed to go, the one who you could barely stand to face some days because it was too much in your head, the one who asked you to stay but told you he would always be there when you chose to go.

Here's the thing: that Spencer never disappeared. He was still very present in the person you were looking at, still kind, still endearing, just a different haircut. He was still the same Spencer Reid you've always known.

“I loved you,” you blurted out, feeling your throat tightening. “You know that, don't you?”

He gave you a sad smile, “I do.”

“I didn't want to go.” A tear trailed down your cheek and you quickly wiped it with the back of your hand. There's way more to come but you could hold it off for a little. “But I had to. I needed to do that by myself.”

“I know.”

“I never stopped loving you, Spencer.” You croaked out, sniffling as more tears started to come out. You didn't have control anymore. But that was Spencer. He had seen you cry thousands of times before. “It was just so hard—”

“I know,” he said softly, half desperate to tuck you into his arms and tell you it would be okay and half suffering because he knew that feeling all too well and it was so painful to bring that topic back. It was so raw. “It's okay.” Because it was. He was seeing you wipe away your tears harshly when you didn't have to do that. It was okay to cry in front of him, it was okay to let it go. “Please, don't do that,” he requested kindly. That's when you felt a warm touch pulling at your wrists softly to stop you from covering your face. The scene in front of you would be comical if you weren't so sad.

Spencer held your hands on his chest with one of his as the other worked on drying off your damp cheeks. He was kneeling on the sand not caring how he would get up without cracking his limbs apart or how his pants would get dirty. A concerned look dancing on his features.

“Sorry,” you croaked out, closing your eyes as he dried your tears with his soft touch. “It's just been a hard day.”

“Yeah,” his fingers lingered on your cheek before he withdrew it while clearing his throat. “It's okay, you don't have to apologize. But I need you to trust me on this, alright? When I say that don't blame you, i mean it.” Your gaze drifted through his features quietly, you were searching for that hitch of hesitation, the twitch that revealed a lie; but you found none. Lifting a hand to touch his cheek was a gesture of surprise to both of you and you retracted it before your fingers could graze him. Spencer kept staring at you as if there was something he couldn't figure out.

“You're supposed to be mad at me.” You cleared your throat, looking down at your hands.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because you're here cleaning my tears, when you would have enjoyed your night with everyone else.”

Spencer gave you a tilt of head, “Why do you keep insisting that I'd rather be anywhere else?”

With a roll of eyes, you held back the will to groan loudly. He stood up, protesting softly causing your lips to curl up in amusement. “That hasn't changed.” You mentioned his knee and it was his turn to give you an eye roll.

“Glad you're having fun,” he said. “Get up, I'm taking you home.”

You shook your head, standing up from the swing, not at all protesting like he did. “You can take my car.”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“Go home, Spence.” His eyes softened at the nickname, one he hadn't heard in your voice for a long time. “It's not even a five minute walk from here to my apartment. And I'm not going to let you take the subway at this hour.” You said with finality in your tone. “Either you take my car or you sleep over.” He blinked as you poked his cheek with a low chuckle.

You were clearly joking about the sleeping over part, you knew he'd never take that option. Still, it was funny seeing his scrunched up face.

“Okay.” Spencer folding his arms across his chest. The streetlight latched onto his profile, illuminating his cheeks in with the yellow light, that's when you could see the dark bags around his eyes. Seems like you weren't the only one having a hard time sleeping. “I'll pick you up in the morning.”

Your eyes widened lightly. “You don't have—”

“I’ll be here.” He is quick to brush you off, mentioning your parked car on the side of the road. There was barely any indication of life in the streets, except for two other cars and a guy walking his dog. “And I'll take you home, too. C'mon. It's late. If you're not letting me take the subway, I won't let you walk home at this hour, either.”

“You’re stubborn.”

“And you're annoying,” he threw back, earning a gasp from you to which he tried to hold back a grin. Oh, it was all too familiar to not have that bittersweet feeling crawling up his spine.

That bickering? That was the most normal you two have been in months. He missed that. You missed that.

“That hasn't changed.” He added softly, leaning on the driver's door as you walked around to reach your side. You froze before entering the car, eyes lifting and locking with his honey brown ones like magnets lining up in the field. How could it feel like coming home after a long time spent away? The walls and the smell, they remained there, the ceiling might be a little cracked, but you would always feel the same walking into that same room.

He watched as you entered your building, waving him goodbye with a contained smile and tired eyes. Only when the gate closed behind you did he drive away to his own neighborhood. The jasmine scent of the car and the keychain brushing against his fingertips every time he made a turn drew a nostalgic smile in his features. As for you, well. You didn't feel as if you were beyond repair anymore. In spite of the cracks and the scars and the fears, devastation wasn't the only thing in your corner, there may be something else there as well. Someone.

Apparently, nothing had changed. And everything did, at the same time.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“I do not want to have you to fill the empty parts of me.

I want to be full on my own. I want to be so complete I could light a whole city. and then, I want to have you.

‘cause the two of us combined could set it on fire.”

[ rupi kaur ]

━━━━━━━━━━━━

taglist: @lilyviolets

( sources )

— want to read more about the cepheus constellation? click here

— want to read more about the body's internal clock? click here

A/N: thank you for reading, I hope you have a great day <3

[biconickyoshi]

NAtLA first impressions (eps 1 & 2)

Here are my thoughts as someone who has been a superfan of the original series since 2007 (spoiler-free first, then spoilers below)!

Honestly, I'm feeling pretty middle of the road about this adaptation so far. I like a lot of the costuming, and some of the actors are good, while others have felt a bit lackluster. There's also some characterization choices I didn't like too much for certain characters (which I will get into in the spoiler sections below). The score is definitely not as good as the original series - I don't particularly like the new elements of the score, and when themes and motifs from the original score are used, I feel like they aren't used enough. The bending, while better than the 2010 version, still feels a bit fake and clunky, as do a lot of the special effects. There's also a problem with a reliance on exposition dialogue, moreso in the first ep than the second.

Now we'll get into the spoiler section. Don't read below this if you do not wanna be spoiled.

EP 1: "Aang"

What I liked:

Getting to see a bit more of the Air Nomads (which makes the genocide feel even more devastating)

The design of the Southern Air Temple felt very warm and inviting - I liked that there were lots of trees and whatnot

The added details about the Sozin purposefully allowing news of the war to be leaked to the Earth Kingdom to throw everyone off their trail of planning to attack the Air Nomads

Making the comet a special event for the Air Nomads, which brings them all together at the Southern Air Temple for Sozin's attack to happen

I like that Wolf Cove was actually called Wolf Cove (since it's never name dropped in the actual show)

Zuko and Iroh did a good job - I think Dallas is capturing Zuko's energy pretty well, and while Paul's Iroh feels a bit different than the OG, he's still doing a good job

What I was not so keen on:

Yep... I really didn't like that Aang didn't purposefully run away, and instead went to "clear his head" after Monk Gyatso told him he was the Avatar, fully intending to return before getting caught in the storm.

They really weren't kidding about removing Sokka's sexism. Instead of Aang being released bc of Katara's anger at this, they just happen upon the iceberg, and somehow while trying to waterbend their canoe closer she waterbends the iceberg open behind her??

Exposition dump from Gran Gran... and her basically just straight up telling Aang to his face "You're the last airbender! All your people are dead! And you're probably the Avatar too!" It all felt very wooden and definitely a bad change from how Aang realizes he's in the future in the OG series.

I had high hopes for a lot of the actors, and I hate to say it (especially considering Sokka's actor is likely not even indigenous at all), but Sokka has felt like the best actor so far. His lines come across a lot more naturally than Katara's and Aang's often do. Aang is alright, and of course looks and acts the part, but the way he speaks his lines sometimes feels too quick/unnatural. Sadly, I think Katara's acting has been the worst so far - in this episode I didn't see any of the emotion in her eyes that I felt like I should've been seeing. I will say I think she got a bit better in ep 2.

Aang, Katara, and Sokka just don't feel close. They never got time to go penguin sledding, to hang out with the village kids, etc. They still feel like strangers.

Speaking of, I guess Aang went out of the Avatar State by thinking about Gyatso? Again, that distance between him and the siblings (especially Katara) is glaring. Katara in general just seems to lack the spark she has in the OG.

EP 2: "Warriors"

What I liked:

Seeing the Fire Navy port - it felt very SEA-inspired, and that street food looked delicious lol.

Kyoshi Island being run by a woman (Suki's mom). Just makes more sense to me lol.

Suki - I looooved how they portrayed her as this kind of socially awkward character who wants to talk to Sokka but doesn't know how. It makes so much sense with her being isolated her whole life. I also felt like her and Sokka had quite a bit of chemistry.

The final Kyoshi battle was pretty cool

I kinda liked Zhao and Zuko both being at Kyoshi Island

Zuko's desperation to find Aang - he really felt like a kid to me in this ep with the acting choices Dallas made.

Strangely, I don't hate them nerfing the Avatar State a bit by making it to where Aang can only enter it when he's in an Avatar shrine. I didn't even realize it at first but the reason he goes into the Avatar State in the SAT is because Gyatso's skeleton was in Yangchen's shrine. I still prefer OG series Avatar State though.

I like that Kyoshi warns Aang with the vision about the Fire Nation's attack on the Northern Water Tribe. It gives him an incentive to get there faster instead of meandering.

What I was not so keen on:

Zhao seems to be a much less arrogant character here, at least outwardly. I know he was probably a bit cartoon villain-y in the OG series, but this dude just feels like another commander. Maybe that will change as I watch more. He's definitely conniving.

The goofy ass high beam lights from the Kyoshi statue's eyes

Kyoshi's characterization... This Kyoshi feels like the caricature all the casual fans perceive her to be (i.e. violence and strength are the best way, smite my enemies type of thing). I also didn't like how she just kept berating Aang for running away (which is weird that everyone keeps accusing him of this bc this version of Aang literally didn't even run away).

Aang is very driven to master the elements and defeat the Fire Lord in this version, which isn't necessarily a bad thing... But I feel like if anything, they could have at least kept it to where he ran away the night of the genocide, even if they didn't want to show him ignoring his responsibilities to go on adventures in the bulk of the show. A major part of Aang's character arc is him learning to accept his destiny and stop running/avoiding.

Once again, no Sokka sexism arc. This ep in the OG series was very important for him, but that's nonexistent here.

Once again, Katara's acting, while better than ep 1, feels like it's lacking emotion.

Overall, it's obviously better than the 2010 movie so far, and I enjoyed the eps to a degree, but there's still a lot of things that I wasn't super fond of. The changes that they seem to have made so far aren't too extreme yet, and I'm actually looking forward to seeing how far they end up deviating from the original show.

The whole time I was watching, I just couldn't stop thinking about how much better the original show is. I just kept missing the characters I knew and loved. Also, I still firmly believe this world and story truly works best in animation.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if you gave Edward from Twilight the Auryn and a responsibility to reimagine Fantastica, because I feel like the end results would be hilarious. And also do you think any of his family is coming to rescue him when he's lost all concept of who he is?

I mean, that's the thing though, Bastian's father in the real world was becoming increasingly worried his son was missing for several hours but a) didn't know his son was in a book b) probably couldn't enter the book if he tried.

Going to Fantasia is a solitary journey that's just you and your imagination, I was never given the impression that you could go after anyone or that someone could travel with you. The only people that can help you are yourself and the friends you make along the way during the journey (e.g. Atreyu).

As for Edward, we'll have to back up a bit. We know the Neverending Story changes per whoever is reading it, as it's intended to draw you in and sus out who can add to the world and save them from a lack of existence.

In Bastian's case, it was the tale of a boy he would always have wanted to be, Atreyu, who is kind, brave, a heroic warrior, who undergoes many trials as expected in a fantasy novel. It's the kind of story that Bastian not only loves to read and escape in, but wants to be himself (hence, when he goes to Fantasia himself, he immediately starts transforming himself into someone much closer to Atreyu: handsome and skinny, brave, heroic, a warrior, wise and charming).

What I'm getting at is that this has to be a book that engrosses Edward so that by the time he meets the Childlike Empress, he's invested.

I imagine it's the story of fantasy Bella Swan. (We'll place Edward before he actually meets Bella Swan).

The Neverending Story for Edward opens up on a beautiful young woman in a poor provincial town who believes she's very unordinary, plain, and isn't like the other girls. She's kind to others to a fault, sacrificing her own needs and wants for the sake of others, and is overlooked by everyone.

One day, her father falls ill and so she goes on a journey to seek the Childlike Empress who is the only person left who may be able to save him. When she reaches the Ivory Tower, Bella is devastated to hear that the Childlike Empress is ill herself and seeing no one. She is told that there is a person that Bella must find who can save both the Childlike Empress and then her father. Bella goes on a perilous journey to find said person, nearly losing hope several times along the way and growing as a person as she faces dangers she never imagined.

In despair, Bella returns to meet the Childlike Empress in defeat, noting she found no such person, "oh but you have" the Childlike Empress says and then Edward gets the truly surreal experience of being talked to by a book.

Like Bastian, it won't shut up until he gives the Childlike Empress a new name, which he eventually does, at which point he finds himself in Fantasia.

There, similar to Bastian, some of his first efforts are to change himself. He becomes human again, gallant, handsome, wise, a prince in every aspect, everything that is worthy of Bella in the novel (losing bits and pieces of himself along the way of course). To his dismay and anger, Bella doesn't love him, seeing that he's losing himself constantly and that what's left of him is a caricature of a man. Edward, too, forgets why he ever thought he loved Bella or the idea of this woman, and gets high on a power trip.

"I will declare myself emperor!" Edward says and... I imagine Bella does try to stop him but I'm not sure raising an army as Atreyu did is in her wheelhouse.

Edward might just kill her to obtain his goal at which point he damns himself and becomes one of Fantasia's many emperors.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi. Um. So I'm really nervous about this whole “sending people a vent anonymously” thing, but I've seen ppl so do this so so so much and I've written once to you before so I think this might be an okay place for me to kind of just live in. For a bit.

Okay, so I've always known that since forever, I'm open to dating anybody, no matter what's in their pants or what ever gender they identify as. If I like them, I like them. That's that. I mean I have a preference for boys I think but girls and enbys and everything else are totally my vibe, as long as I like them enough.

One time I had a crush on a boy (We'll call him Aj for short). I think I fell in love with him, even though my crush on him ended up being found out. (Which, all in all, was absolutely devastating.) Aj was this beautiful, funny, kind, and overall amazing boy that I deeply cared about and he was my bestest friend. He'd pretend to be characters from series (particularly Attack on Titan characters) and it'd be entertaining since he was quite good at it. Eventually I told my gbf (A, for lack of better name) that I liked him. And I think she told a girl who we'll call Al (who, coincidentally, liked Aj too). I don't know if it was her. I also told this girl who I'm naming E since she asked. I trusted her despite not knowing her well. One of them told him and after that it got out to my whole grade. I hated it but got over him fairly quick.

I think it's happening again. And I mean like I think I'm falling in love again?? With a boy we'll call B. He's really sweet, funny, pretty, and honestly quite cool. We bicker all the time and our classmates call it “couple fighting” which is something that neither of us comment on. I like B a lot.

Except that the idea of being with anybody makes me sick. I can't even imagine it. I can't see myself in a future with anybody and I don't know why. But also. The idea of being alone forever makes me feel weird. Not good, at least. I mean I know for a fact I don't want to marry or have kids, something I'm committed to. But I don't get why all my friends can see themselves with kids and married and a husband/wife and I just CAN'T.

Yet I still like B?? I mean, when I like Aj I could see myself staying with him, being loyal and all. Not married or having kids but I could see myself with him.

I don't get why nobody else feels like this and it makes me feel like I'm just the odd one in the group and that, being the outsider, makes me feel terrible because I've always tried to fit in and be friendly. (something, I've been told, that I'm not good at. I have anger issues so that doesn't really affect me but now it's making me upset)

And I rlly don't want to bring this up.

Dunno what to do. I'm completely lost.

Also you're probably going to ask when I wrote to you before and honestly idk what I wrote or if you responded to my specific ask. It was really similar to “drained anons” first paragraph but I'm honestly unsure. Dunno if you got it or not. I remember saying something about being scared of my mom, on good terms with my siblings, my transgender issues (feeling like a boy mostly and a girl other times), and also my friend A’s (gbf, here) mom issues and wanting to help A. I never said anything about pills or sh from what I remember. So I don't think I'm drained anon. I did say that you don't have to respond tho

Okay I think I'm rambling sorry I'm done this was all I needed to say lol byeee <3

Hi!!

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting to be with someone, but not wanting to get married or have kids. I know plenty of people who feel this way.

I think when people are younger, they fantasize about marriage and having children because they might only think about the romanticized parts. But as you get older? Trust me, you will not be alone.

Also, I truly think, if you like B and B likes you, there's no reason why you shouldn't date. You're still in school, you don't have to talk about marriage and kids anytime soon. I would just talk about it if things get more serious.

But yeah- there's nothing wrong with your feelings, and you're definitely not alone.

I'm naming you commitment anon in case you write back.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Daughter Terrified of King Father

Anonymous asked: I'm planning renaissance story where a king takes an infant as his ward/hostage because her father was believed to be a rebel leader and the king wanted to control him and extract information out of him. A few days after he was executed, it was found he was not a traitor but framed by his enemies. The king and queen loved the child and raised her like their own. She was close with both of them, but years later when she finds out the truth, she is devastated and scared of her dad/the king. He loves his daughter very much and feels bad to see her devastated. He tries to console her and apologize but she keeps crying and is terrified of him. What could he do to console her and reassure her, take the fear from her mind, and lessen her emotional pain?

[Ask edited for length]

You have the beginnings of something interesting here, but it doesn't quite work as-is for a number of reasons, and I want to get to those before we get to your specific question.

First and foremost, I'm struggling the the basis of the wardship. While taking someone's child as a ward can be an effective means to control them, it's probably not a great way to get information out of them unless the king said, "tell us what we want to know and you get your child back," which is a straight up hostage and not a ward at all. However, this falls apart a bit when the goal is execution, because the father is never going to see his infant again anyway. Also: where is the infant's mother, and why did the king and queen still keep her even after the execution? Are they punishing the mom for the father's apparent rebellion? (We'll circle back around to this in a bit...)

My next concern is I'm not sure why learning "the truth" would make the girl terrified of her father/the king. Executing traitors was a normal part of what monarchies did back then, and the girl would have known this. In fact, if she was raised as part of the royal family, she would likely attend important executions with her family once she was older. It would certainly be shocking to learn that her biological father was executed for treason and was found innocent a few days later--and she could be hurt and angry that this truth wasn't shared with her sooner--but it shouldn't strike fear into her heart. It's not as though her father/the king intentionally murdered an innocent man in cold blood. By executing a traitor, he was doing his duty to protect the kingdom--it wasn't his fault he had bad information. Even if that bad information was the result of negligence on his part, that still shouldn't terrify his adoptive daughter. Disappoint and anger her, yes. Terrify, no.

So, I don't personally feel that "terror" is the right thing to go for here. I think you'd want to concentrate more on the hurt of not being told the truth. Even though she has no connection to her birth parents outside of genetics--and would certainly have no memories of them--people like to know their roots, and she could feel quite betrayed learning that she's not actually of royal blood and that her father was executed for treason. The wrongful part would sting a little bit as well, even though she would hopefully understand that wasn't the king's fault. And then I think learning that there is or was a bio mom out there would sting, too, especially if she has since died and not being told about her sooner robbed the daughter of the chance to get to know her.

I think in this case, the king would console his daughter by explaining the circumstances of what happened. What he believed was true about her father--the reasons why he was believed to be dangerous and needed to be stopped. As well as the fact that he had been framed by his enemies, so the crown believed he was truly guilty of being a rebel leader. He might also try to explain why they chose to keep this information from her why they kept her instead of giving her back to the bio mom (there would need to be a really good reason), and then he might say some things to drive home how much he and the queen genuinely love her and have always seen her as their true daughter.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

LEARN MORE about WQA

SEE MY ask policies

VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts

COFFEE & FEEDBACK COMMISSIONS ko-fi.com/wqa

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 129 - Dropping Off

It's been a hard couple of days. Gemma keeps asking to see Jaden and they know it's wrong to lie, but they're just not ready to break her heart. They tried calling CPS to see if anything could be done, but Calvin isn't starving Jaden so they won't do anything.

That night, they're stirred from their slumber by incessant knocking.

Ophelia: What the hell? They'd better not wake the girls up.

The last time they got late night visitors, it was Greta and Jace running away from their dad's house, but that's probably not the case now.

The second Xander sees who it is, he doesn't hold back.

Xander: Are you out of your woohoocking mind? You treated us like child predators, took our daughter's best friend from her and now you're bugging us at two in the morning?

Calvin stand there and… takes it.

Anna can barely hear her husband being berated. She's cried for hours and hours, dried tears trailing down her face. Now she's just… numb.

She stares out into the horizon, just like she had days ago. She tries to remember every detail of the scenery. Anything to stop thinking.

Calvin waits for Xander to take a breath before speaking.

Calvin: Xander, I have no right to come to you to ask for anything, after everything I said. I will get on my hands and knees and beg if I have to, but I'm not asking for me. I'm asking for Jaden. Please… hear me out.

Xander crosses his arms.

Xander: Fine. For Jaden.

After checking that the girls were still asleep, Ophelia finally joins them.

Calvin: Something's happened. We need you to keep Jaden while we're gone. Please. I-I was wrong.

It sounds like it pains him to admit that.

Calvin: I'm nowhere near the man I thought I was. I was arrogant, foolishly so. I'm no better than you. I'm far, far worse.

As much as it pleases both of them to hear this, it's also a tad concerning. Where was this coming from? Why did it involve keeping Jaden for the night?

Calvin: We have to go out of town for a bit and Jaden can't come with us. I know after what I did, what I said, I'm asking far too much of you, but please just… please do it for Jaden.

Anna's composure cracks and she begins to weep once again.

Ophelia goes over to Anna and an oblivious Jaden.

Ophelia: Anna, what is going on? Did someone in your family die? What's the emergency?

Anna tries to say something but only gut-wrenching sobs come out. Whatever is is, it must be devastating.

Anna: I always thought I was so much better than you. I was more proper, more modest, more Watcherly. A lot of good all that did me… I'm sorry for everything, Ophelia. We don't deserve your forgiveness, but please watch Jaden for us… Please.

Ophelia glances back at her husband. He can tell they're in agreement.

Xander: We'll watch him. Jaden's always welcome here. But you can't pull any high and mighty llamashit again. You're not going to break my baby girl's heart.

Calvin: I can assure you I won't.

Jaden squeals as his dad lifts him up.

Calvin: There's my boy. You be good for the Lemons, alright? They're good people. Better than your old man.

He pulls his son in close.

Calvin: I love you. I really do. I'm sorry I never showed it.

Jaden melts into the embrace.

While Calvin cradles his son close, Anna can't help but feel resentful. He chooses NOW to finally show he gives a damn about their son? Guess there's no time like the present.

She's felt a lot of resentment toward Calvin the past few days and she has no plans of stopping.

That anger melts when Calvin hands Jaden over to her.

Anna: Oh, my sweet boy. Mommy's going to miss you so so much.

She peppers his cheeks with kisses and revels in his laughter. She tries to perfect this moment to memory.

Anna: Daddy and I have to go, but you'll have a lot of fun with Gemma and her family.

Jaden: Where are you goin'?

Anna: That's not important. Just know that we love you… And we're sorry.

Calvin listens in. Anna really does try to be a good mother. He shouldn't have taken her for granted, or Jaden.

There's a lot of things he regrets, but there's no going back now. He'll fix the mess he made.

Jaden: Thanks for lettin' me come play with Gemma again!

Fresh tears fall down Anna's cheeks but she keeps on a brave face.

Anna: You are so welcome, baby. You and Gemma's family are going to have a great time together. I love you, Jaden Taylor. More than you'll ever know.

Jaden watches his parents walk off. He waves but they don't look back.

Ophelia comes to get him once they're out of sight.

Ophelia: Phew, it's chilly out here. Come on, sweetie, let's get you inside.

As Xander pulls out the sleeping bag, Ophelia brings Jaden into Gemma's room. She was trying not to wake her up, but Gemma's a light sleeper, so that was pointless. Gemma begins to stir, blinking sleepily until she sees who's in her mother's arms.

Gemma: Jaden!!

She doesn't care why he's here in the middle of the night, she's just happy to see her best friend. The two squeeze each other tight.

This was a weird night, but it was worth it to see the looks on their faces.

[period-of-nocturne]

I've been devastated by the news because I wanted Rui's Envy Baby's alt too much since a year, but I've been thinking and I see why it's going to Nightcord

Hi, I wanna people save... Alright ?

First sentence and it's already so Kanade.

The tightrope falls, broken by others, what a lady, she's gonna jump

Because everyone could sing that line, I put it here for context with the next

Towards the light and shatter humiliatingly, that's her future

Ena's insecurities in a sentence

High and without care I'm lonely, lonely

From their idle words the clown becomes a prisoner

No need to elaborate

This this lover's baby, my garden of love is in danger from a drawing hand

Truly, this this lover's crazy, in the garden of harm, the bud of human is a lie-ai-a

Yeah I just went with 'drawing' and 'lie'

A-Aishiteru !

Because she would kill it

Lie lie loving you ! such words and doing such things, you're in my my way

Once again no need to elaborate

Here comes the love maniac who never miss stack up all the whining

Talking about mom, probably

Hi-fi fall in a love with a lie-ai-a a copy their acting and keep the truth hidden

No need to elaborate, again.

This this lover's baby, my garden of love is in danger from a drawing hand

Truly, this this lover's crazy, in the garden of harm, the bud of human is a lie-ai-a

Because swapping lines in the chorus is a frequent pjsk move

A-Aishiteru !

Because she would also kill it

There's so many things I could point out, but I went with the most obvious part. Why are the most obvious part mostly Mizuena I don't know.

I see Kanade too but mostly vocally speaking and not in the lyrics the official version will have to enlighten me.

Suki sugiru ! Hitotsu Futatsu de...

ALSO HOPEFULLY WE'LL GOT A BIT OF MAFUYU ENGLISH. FINALLY.

Yeah I'll forever mourn the Ruikasa duet from my brain but I believe in Niigo.

[pynkhues]

I've been obsessed with "to your beacon in the gloom" (definitely one of the five most beautiful, hottest, vivid, and psychologically acute fics I've ever read), and I am a truly insane amount of happy that you're writing a fic where they have the magnus discussion and apparently do lots of other things, I truly cannot wait--I want more of Louis and Lestat from you, always. But I also wanted to say how amazing Hold Me Close and Hold Me Fast is. You're genuinely an incredible writer, you're one of those writers where I feel like, this prose is as fantastic and insightful and vivid as a lot of acclaimed novels I read. This fic is so creative and sure-handed, the way you move back and forth through different versions of Lestat in Louis' imagination -- it's just such a high level of skill, I'm in awe. And then how devastating it is to read the way you capture Louis' love for Lestat, his lust for him and the ache for his beauty, and above all his desperation to be close to him and these futile efforts to dig deeper and find out more about the person he loves so much, when that's impossible now. This passage particularly gutted me: 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“What did Magnus do to you?”

It’s instant, the way all impishness vanishes from Lestat’s face, and he’s not wounded like he was before, but his eyes are glassy, his mouth a little open, like he has to leave it that way to remember how to breathe.

“What do you think he did to me?”

And Louis remembers that night when he told them the little details, the scraps of something bigger. Remembers the room and the dead boys just like him and the tower and the week in the maw of a monster, and there are too many gaps and Louis needs to know every way Magnus ever touched him almost as much as he needs to never, ever know.

In front of him, Lestat’s hand trembles, as he raises a hand, touches his lips, but - - Lestat didn’t tremble, not like that, and it’s quick, the picture. Claudia, touching her lipstick up in the mirror, her hand shaking.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so glad you're writing about Lestat and Louis dealing with Magnus. I need that. This passage is just unbearably wrenching, and "Louis needs to know every way Magnus ever touched him almost as much as he needs to never, ever know" captures something so visceral about dealing with this kind of pain and trauma. And connecting the Lestat-hallucination's trembling hand to Claudia (which was such a devastating moment in the show)...brilliant. 

Anon! This is such a beautiful ask to receive, thank you. I feel like that first fic in a new fandom is always so tricky, because in so many ways you're learning how to write the characters, and I was probably a bit ambitious with that one given the place Louis and Lestat are, so to know that you liked it so much is just - - yes, a bit magic. Thank you again.

And yeah! It's been interesting to try and get into both their heads for a conversation about Magnus given the way information about Lestat's past has typically had to be provoked out of him in the show - particularly Paul and Lestat's confrontation about Lestat's relationship with God and his father in the pilot and, of course, the in-show conversation about Magnus only being had as a part of the deal to move back home. I'm hoping it'll feel built to in a way that's pretty authentic in the fic and not something just plunged into (I finished editing the first scene last night, and I'm a little worried it's a bit long and people are going to be like 'what?' haha, as it's Louis at a gallery and doesn't involve Lestat at all, but I hope it feels it feeds into everything that happens afterwards). We'll see though!

[halfmoth-halfman]

WHAY THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

i kid you not my boyfriend RAN when he saw my shocked face reading this chapter whilst i was cooking dinner as well lils

HE RAN.

IVE GOT SO MUCH TO SAY???? during the whole fight with Graves and Kira vs Canary all i was thinking about in my head was the song ‘beat his ass bro! beat his ass!’ GOWAN CANARYYYYY!! shank that man and that bitch up!!! 🥳🥳

PRICE???? man’s is redeeming himself omds

i’d be like SMITTEN. SMITTEN. if i was canary

and her ptsd is so beautifully portrayed!!! as another girl who has ptsd it’s so accurate and so comforting to see a proper representation of PTSD. at the height of my symptoms I was like Canary; paranoid, anxious, and had such a short fuse and i thought everyone hated me for it. but to see it portrayed so accurately and how everyone accommodates canary and her needs makes me tear up icl 🥹 every single time. with happy tears of course. so i have to thank you for the portrayal, from the bottom of my heart thank you mother mothie it’s so lovely to see.

BUT PLEASE TELL ME CANARY IS OKAY LIKE??? GIRL HAS NOT GOT A GOOD TRACK RECORDS WITH CARS

and the poor house ☹️☹️ it probably had feelings like poor house; devastated from a fictional house

absolutely wonderful again mother!! hope this wasn’t too ramble like! hope your weekend was good 🩷

– 🪼

aalsdkjas he said he wasn't invested and now look at him LOL

canary really deserves to just go ham on graves and kira tbh, like if he was capable i'm sure price would string graves up like a piñata and let canary go wild (and maybe take a few swings himself)

i know i've said it a million times but price loves her like so much, like if she wanted him to he'd probably step down from running the 141 for her. and even if she never loves him back again, he would do anything for her to make sure she feels safe and comfortable for the rest of her life, which i think canary is realizing 👀

a lot of canary's reactions and feelings are based on my own experiences and similar experiences i've seen, and the anger esp was something that really resonated with me. and like she knows she's being mean, and she doesn't want to be, but she doesn't have a way to really work through those emotions and that trauma yet. and i think the 141 knows that she's going through something and it'll help once graves and makarov are gone, so they're a little more lenient and willing to be there for her despite her jabs at them. plus, y'know, the guilt.

but it's also a little self-indulgent way for me to see a character getting the comfort and patience i wish i would've gotten when i was going through something similar. i'm so glad canary and what she's going through and how she's slowly healing feels real enough to resonate with people. it's something i always worry about because i know reactions and processing aren't the same for everyone, but it's comforting (ig??) to know that people find her realistic.

it's a happy ending so i feel like i have to say she's okay, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see......tho i wouldn't blame her if she decided to stay away from cars for a while

the house def hurt to write, but we don't know the full damage yet right??? it could still be salvageable!!!!

this wasn't too much of a ramble at all, i always love answering your asks!!!! i hope you have an amazing day and that you enjoy the final chapter!!!! 💜

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

Episode 97 was impressively good

I was a bit worried going into this one due to the focus characters but it definitely turned out better than I was expecting.

SPOILERS BELOW

This one was another tag duel and out of the tag duels we have so far in Go Rush I'd say this one is... second only to Yudias and Yuna/Yuga vs the two Luges? 3/4 participants of the tag duel got ample time to shine and the other one was Yuamu who, I'm sorry to say, Go Rush has been bad at involving in any meaningful way for a while now. I know she went first and all but jeez, did she do anything after that first turn other than prevent a bit of battle damage with a monster effect? If she did, it wasn't very memorable. Myuda obviously got a lot of attention during his death not to mention destroying all of Yuamu's monsters. Yuhi used Power Bond again and was able to prevent its damage effect this time (which was super cool) and Dinois had the winning turn and a new fusion. Yuamu meanwhile doesn't get jackshit.

That's probably my biggest problem with the episode though? Otherwise, the setup is sound, it's a good lead in to next week's episode, the duelling itself is fun as ever, and the emotional beats hit... not to the same degree of episodes 90 or 95 but that's okay. Making the death scenes of one character who hasn't duelled or done anything major since season 1 and another character who most of the other characters (and even most of the fandom) hate was no easy feat but for me, they managed to draw some emotion, which is impressive in my book. I never thought the day would come where I'd genuinely feel bad for Dinois but damn her reaction to Myuda's death was the most devastating part of the episode.

I do admittedly wish more of this Dinois and Myuda relationship had been shown beforehand though. I'll admit that's more of a personal preference as before this episode, they really didn't register to me as friends, or people that cared about each other much in general. On the other hand though, seeing these entirely new sides to Myuda and to a greater extent Dinois when the latter died is one of the best aspects of this episode so it's something I can easily forgive.

Still, very good episode overall, one of the top three of the arc for me... for now, we'll see how next week goes. I... feel like quality wise, that one will also be pretty damn good so long as they uh... keep the focus where it should be.

[thatfangirlofsb]

A/N: Welcome to the second part of Your Highness, you will have the other parts with their respective links at the end of the post as always.

T/W: Spoilers from the grishaverse (series). Slight smut.

Your Highness (II)

"Are you in your damn five senses, Alina?"

She didn't need to answer her, she obviously wasn't, and Zoya knew it. But was she different? Of course not, who in their right mind would start a relationship of unbridled sex with their king and fiancé of the saint and summoner of the sun? Surely many people only by seeing him, but after thinking with a cold head, many of those people would also end up saying no.

However, it seemed that Zoya never had a cold head. Or else she wouldn't have fled from that room like the fjerdan did in the first meeting with the princess in the first book of "The Princess and the Barbarian". All of Ravka had read it, no wonder the squaller had too.

[FB]

"What?"

Even Zoya, hiding under the bed, was tempted to repeat the very exactly words of the king.

"If you wait a few months I can make it more clear to you."

"We have to find Zoya, now."

Look under the bed, idiot. She thought with a sarcastic tone while her mind wandered with the possibilities that existed to get out of there without being discovered; none.

Alina seemed unaware of Nikolai's clearly nervous glance toward the bed, because she opened her mouth again and began to speak. "

Why do you think I'm here? Send someone and we'll wait for her while…"

"No!"

"No? But you…"

Nikolai began to move around the room nervously, but always trying not to approach the bed as if it were infected by the queen's lady's plague; the same one that devastated Kerch years ago.

"She stormed off really furious, so she's probably still in the Grand Palace premises." Furious was the wrong word to explain how Zoya felt at that moment, but if Alina still hadn't gotten over her fear of the monsters under the bed, she better shut up. "Surely, since she missed you so much, she'll want to see you. Run for her before she leaves, but not too much."

"You are very..."

"Handsome? The years don't pass by me, thank you."

"No." Alina got up and began to walk toward the door with hesitant steps. Nikolai was usually very weird, but this time he felt weirder than usual. "Today it seems that you aren't you."

And she opened the door to search for Zoya, not knowing that the squaller didn't need to hear the news or know that she was looking for her; it was a positive thing of be hiding after almost having the king between her legs before the sun summoner knocked on the door by surprise.

"Fucking idiot." Zoya said leaving immediately her hiding place after hearing the door close from outside. "You acted like you had someone hiding under your bed."

"I just had... sarcasm?"

The grisha's murderous gaze gave him her answer. How, in such a short time, had he changed from a boy who had gotten her to beg for his mouth on her to one so innocent? She couldn't deny that she liked it.

"I need my clothes, now." The grisha unrolled the blanket from her body, and she couldn't help but bite her lip when Nikolai's lustful gaze returned to fixing on her skin, completely free of any fabric. "Come on, my blouse." She stretched out her hand, trying to be indifferent to what he managed to provoke in her, while his gaze traveled over her entire body. That was not the time to imagine a quick sex with him before getting out of his room, they didn't have time.

"Sure"

The king's hands went down to the edge of it and he took it off, leaving it on the grisha's outstretched arm before he began to look for his shirt. Zoya wished she could have taken it from him herself as slowly as her desire for him would allow, but there was no time.

With the help of her grisha's abilities, she was able to find all of her clothes in less time than it would have taken without summoning, and began to dress quickly; almost without giving much importance to the wrinkles that the garments could have.

"Nikolai..."

The king had already put on his shirt, which came slightly out of his pants in some places, and the jacket that rested on his shoulders without being buttoned yet.

"Tell me, moya milaya."

Zoya's eyes rolled back for a few seconds. If some murderer didn't take the chance of killing him, she would do it herself in case she kept hearing that nickname from his lips.

My sweet girl? We'll see if I'm that sweet when I break every bone for hearing you say that again. She grabbed the bottom edges of his pants that were sticking out and smiled.

"I'm not sweet, your highness. And I don't do anything sweet either."

"Then show me." She approached his lips while her hands worked, placing all the fabric inside his pants. She ran her tongue gently over Nikolai's bottom lip and left a small bite on it before pulling away after finishing.

"Your Highness." She said in a whisper before opening the window. She looked down and when she didn't see anyone, she summoned the wind, launching herself and then being gently picked up by it. When she reached the ground, she looked up, seeing Nikolai still unprepared and watching her like a fool. "We don't have much time."

After giving him the warning, she ran as far away as she could from that window. If Alina found her, it would be better away from that blonde. She run near a lake and took the opportunity to see herself in the reflection. Her hair was completely rowdy and her cheeks were reddish-pink; she had a sex face. And, if the sun summoner was far enough clever to get pregnant, surely she knew the meaning of that kind of face.

And as if, instead of calling the winds, Zoya had invoked her... her voice sounded saying her name. And it was getting closer. She was lost, except... Your hair or hide everything, she thought. And she took a choice. She plunged into the lake as if she was surrounded by hordes of drüskelle and khergud, and that mound of water was her only chance of survival. She sank slightly after feeling how the liquid hit her body and smiled, at least her little secret would remain hidden; and a slight cold would appear, although she didn't like that so much anymore.

"Zoya!" She heard her voice very close and lifted her head out of the water, with all her wet hair sticking to his face. I hope no more people see me right now, please. "Zoya? What...?"

"But look who we have here, the sun summoner." She tried to sound slightly surprised, even though her voice didn't do it so well.

"What are you doing inside a lake, in the middle of winter?"

"Many things have changed." She emerged completely drenched and her clothes dripping with water as the weight on the squaller increased due to the liquid. "But if you had took your responsibilities seriously and didn't..." She coughed slightly, taking the opportunity to brush her hair from his face and try to leave it perfectly combed; an impossible mission. "What do you want?"

"Nikolai..." He's looking for you, she thought at that moment but decided to let her finish. "He's looking for you." Bingo.

[FB]

"Thanks for worrying about me, Zoya." The sun summoner's voice sounded angry, though there was a slight undertone of sadness. That day was getting bloody crazy. Nikolai not making his typical jokes and Zoya drenched, wetting the ground under her, for committing the folly of getting into a lake in the middle of winter. "What have I missed?"

"You've missed that I'm going to search all over Os Alta for that Oretsev's hiding place and I'm going to bring him to you, so that both of you can hear my screams well."

"It may be better if..." Nikolai began to say with concern when he heard the squaller sneezing; it didn't sound good.

"If you continue that sentence with 'rest,' I swear that..."

"He doesn't know it." The summoner cut them off, now wasn't a good time to check the bad decision she had made; she would think on how you can't 'force' two such different people to work together later. "And I want it to stay that way."

"Not a good time to try to be a heroin, summoner." Zoya was right, but it wasn't just about that. "Why do you all tend to stop using your brain lately?" Herself included.

"It's not for making me the heroine..."

"Repeat it until you believe it."

"Zoya..." Nikolai cast a brief glance at the blue-eyed girl, before walking away from her to his desk and grabbing the necessary writing materials. "Then what do you want?"

The king's voice seemed to make the summoner rethink her options. She was in a delicate position, and at such moments she couldn't think only of herself; Ravka and the baby had to be included in their decision making.

"I don't know."

It wasn't completely true, she just had a little idea. Well, various little ideas that surrounded around her head as if they were bees and she was honey. But she preferred to keep it quiet, she knew that many of these options that she had thought weren't correct.

"Don't you know?" The surprised blue-eyed woman asked aloud. "But you did know what you were doing when you got into you..."

"Zoya." Nikolai's voice didn't sound as friendly as it had when he first said her name. This time it was wrapped in a serious tone, too strange even for himself. "Let's forget for a moment who fucked who or what we put inside, shall we?"

With the last sentence he had managed to make Zoya's slight blush appear again, and his own too. He had used the wrong words when he could have just said 'Let's forget the extra data and focus on what really matters'. But there they were both, coughing a bit while Alina looked at them, visibly puzzled. Was that feeling caused by the pregnancy or was something strange going on?

"I want Oretsev's location, now." Zoya slammed her palm down on the desk, fixing her gaze completely on Alina.

"I don't want him to know anything."

"Give me Oretsev's location."

"I don't want him..."

The squaller hit the table again, trying to contain himself and not do anything she would regret later. Alina jumped a little from her seat, while Nikolai had slightly forgotten to participate in the conversation and began to sketch.

"Why?"

The sun summoner considered her answer, was she sure about what she was going to say? She didn't know, but she just decided to talk.

"The baby hasn't been..."

"Intended?" Zoya gave a small laugh. She was sorry for the girl in front of her, but right now she had to act like the general and not her friend. "We understand that, otherwise you would have run off with Mal and we would never have heard from you again."

She didn't know if that was true. Alina was only clear about one thing, if that had been the case, one of the ideas she would have considered before acting would be that. Perhaps she would fake her death? A martyrdom? It wasn't time to think about that, she knew she couldn't run back to Mal and tell him everything.

When she found him by surprise, she saw him happier than ever. Being Sturmhond seemed to have become his goal in life, he also acted similar to the former privateer and current king (he even got slightly annoyed when she joked about calling him a pirate). She was only on his ship for a week, and she got off it knowing that the boy of the orphanage was no longer the same.

She continued the journey, making short stops on her way to Os Alta, but she was going to the capital when she found out she was expecting a baby. And that was as far as that had led her; to have Nikolai, too busy with the papers, and Zoya, clearly annoyed by how her eyebrows were clenched together, in front of her.

"Do you want to go through with this?" The king's voice surprised them, Alina more than the squaller, but they didn't have much time to show it either because, as soon as the blond caught his breath, he spoke again. "With the wedding, the..."

"Yes."

Now Zoya seemed the only one surprised. The self-conscious Alina had answered with confidence, even that stony face reminded her of the one the half shu made when she launched that well-aimed hook at her on their first day of hand-to-hand training.

"We have a week to prepare a wedding, we must do it as soon as possible."

And after speaking, he got up and left the room. The two grisha looked at each other in confusion, but Zoya quickly filled the place with her voice. That hadn't ended there.

"I want the location of..."

"Zoya!"

[°°°]

"Damn Alina, she's going to find it out."

The squaller closed the door behind her and removed her kefta, leaving it on the bed in her room. She needed to take a very hot bath, and not only because of the sure cold she was going to catch if she continued with those cold and wet clothes attached to her body, but also for the mere fact of having a few moments of complete relaxation for herself.

Determined to do so, she opened the drawer where she had the last bath salts that the nobleman gave her, she couldn't remember if he was a duke or a count, and grabbed the bag. When she had it in her hand, she noticed the abysmal difference of weight, it was almost empty and she had received it that morning. Something weird was going on, so she picked up a stiletto that she had on her desk and began to look around carefully.

She caught a slight shadow through the curtain that separated the area from the bathtub, so she approached it carefully. When she felt the shadow move, she turned and placed herself against the wall. The hand in which one she had the weapon, began to separate the curtains and in a quick movement she grabbed the person who generated that stain. It seemed that they weren't going to let theyself be caught so easily, because they held on tightly to the fabrics and fell down; causing Zoya to fall to the ground, then the intruder and finally the curtains.

"Saints Zoya, do you always try to murder people with a stiletto?"

She was going to kill Nikolai Lantsov one of these days, and she wouldn't care how a good lover he was in bed.

"Those who enter in my room without my permission, yes."

"My fault." The king said, looking up at the ceiling but without getting up from the squaller.

"Could you...?" Zoya sighed, throwing the otkazat'sya and the cloth away before pulling herself to her feet.

"A little help?"

The grisha ignored him, she had more important things to do. She took one last look at him before passing through the slight archway, hidden by the curtains until a while ago, and into the small room. The tub was filled to overflowing, and at that very moment she knew where the disproportionate amount of salts that had disappeared had gone.

"Nikolai..." She ran her index finger through the bluish water similar to the one of her kefta, she loved that color, and caressed between her fingers a petal that was floating along with others. "Have you used my bathtub? Don't you have a bigger one?"

Her mind recovered the images of the two of them in that same one. He was talking while giving her light caresses on her shoulders, and at that time the squaller felt so happy that always, when she began to notice it, she would climb on top of him and begin to kiss his neck and lips with lust. It was not a way to show her happiness, but a way to destroy it. I don't deserve it, she thought every time she saw Nikolai smile and laugh next to her and several liters of water. And she didn't care that by destroying it, she hurt herself. Why else would the handsome king Nikolai want the extremely beautiful general next to him in that huge bathtub? Zoya's thoughts on that question always turned to sex. But the grisha didn't know how, for the young king, those minutes were a way to get to know Zoya Nazyalensky, and not that general with a cold posture that she always showed to others.

"No, I've prepared a bath for you."

He smiled widely as her sideway gaze fell into his almond-shaped eyes. At that moment, the blue-eyed girl was able to notice how his shirt, perfectly tucked into his pants, had the top three buttons undone, revealing his clavicle perfectly, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"A hard job?" Zoya took off her shoes, leaving her bare feet on the cold floor, and then slowly removed her clothes; smiling when she felt the king's gaze on her back. "Nikolai?"

"Ah, yes, yes."

The grisha turned her neck a little, watching as he swallowed without taking his eyes off her. Today Nikolai was going to make it easy for her to destroy that happiness of everyday moments, regardless of the fact that she also wanted them. She returned her gaze to the front, but not before offering him a small knowing smile, and put one foot in the bathtub. Some of the water overflowed and she smiled again, pulling herself all the way in and enjoying the feel of the hot water against her cold body as some of it ran out. She wasn't going to like clean it up afterwards, but she was going to forget about it for now.

"Thank you." She sank her body completely for a few seconds, then returned to her usual position; resting the full length of her arms on the edges of either sides. "But shouldn't you be with Alina? She's back, you have to play the happy couple in love again. Well... it won't be that hard for you." She showed him another smile, similar to the previous one when she saw his face of doubt and confusion. "It's obvious that you like her, your highness."

"No…well, yes." Nikolai's nervousness, even though she felt a slight prick of pain, seemed very funny to her. "But... uh..."

"Speechless, your highness?" She ran her index finger through the water again, making little ripples around her body. "Do you like her that much?"

"I liked." The words came out nervously from his lips, and she gave him a wave of her hand, inviting him to come closer.

"Come, I don't bite." She smiled with a slight arrogance as she watched him approach little by little. "But... if you want, yes."

A light blush came to his face and, kicking the stiletto off the ground, he knelt to the right of the squaller. One of his hands brushed her hair from that shoulder, while the other left small caresses on the free skin; though she wished that instead of his fingers, it was his mouth that did it.

"It was just a little stupid crush, she was the savior and I idolized her a lot."

Zoya would have smiled, knowing for sure that the king didn't have any kind of feelings towards Alina, but instead she stared straight ahead. It reminded her of herself with the previous general, someone who ended up torn apart for idolizing a person who was never going to reciprocate it. She promised herself, this time for real, that she would comfort him, whether it was with nice words or slow movements. Although it would possibly be the last one, she couldn't opt for anything else. You're Zoya Nazialensky, happily ever after is not your thing.

"Then I won't call you shevrati, you seem to know more than you're letting out."

Nikolai couldn't avoid his look of confusion and, to hide it, he moved behind her, beginning to gently rub her shoulders. He loved her smooth skin and how her tone of voice changed when she spoke in Suli, even though she sometimes confuse him because of the latter.

"Then I'll not call you moi sol ye tselai."

"Great, that nickname would suit Alina better." She noticed how his hands stopped their movements, but only to go down a little more and touch her breasts hidden by the water. "I prefer moya zyoma." She closed her eyes, feeling how a few short kisses began to appear on her neck. At last the feelings disappeared, giving way to lust. "But it would sound better if you moaned it."

Nikolai chuckled, and couldn't help his star phrase.

"I love it when you quote me."

Zoya turned, now kneeling herself and facing him. The water was waist deep, giving Nikolai a view of her perfect torso. She was going to drive him crazy.

"It wasn't a quote." She bit her lip slightly and looked down. Quickly Nikolai discovered where those blue eyes were going; to his crotch where, clearly and despite the baggy pants, you could tell the great effect Zoya had had on him without touching him. "And now get up. I can't make you moan with this height, your highness."

And Nikolai got up.

—————

You can read the first part HERE.

[cosmorom]

who i think can/can't die in st5 and why (long post):

eleven: it's pretty plausible she could die like a hero with a sacrifice, when she'll fight against henry again, but i simply don't believe it because it dosen't make sense? for all her narrative we see how she dosen't want being compared to a hero, she doesn't want to be a hero. el wants to be loved for who she is, not because she's cool with powers and she saved the world like 3(?) times. she wants to be loved like el, not 011. if in s5 they don't finish her story arc and put her at peace with herself, duh her death will just be heartbreaking and unfair. i would like to see that in some way, at the end of everything, she'll lose her powers (like in s3) and she just be in peace with her family and friends. however, this doesn't mean that the probability of her death is low.

will: well he just can't die because 1) the previous seasons will be like useless? the whole story starts because will is alive and has to survive (talking abt s1). 2) will is literally the only one who never had his happy ending at every end of the seasons. and he suffered enough. just give his happy ending with the boy he is in love with and with the love of his family. obviously, knowing him, if his intervention (even risky) is needed to kill vecna, he would not think twice and would immediately offer to die for the others, as he has already demonstrated. i just can't think about the fact that he will suffer more in the next season until the end (bc he will). give him a BREAK.

max: well the situation is actually complicated. she can die as she can't. i think if they wanted to kill max they killed her in s4. so i'm not totally sure about her. i mean clinically she was (or is she?) dead...her mind is lost (in vecna's?). i don't know. i have doubts. i hope she won't leave us for good.

lucas: i don't think he'll die duh, he won't

dustin: recently, after, some declarations by the actors... i have a lot of doubts about dustin. pratically there's a lot question and theories that he could die with steve ("if you die, i die"), and this totally makes sense. yet dustin is devasted about eddie's (and max's) deaths, and we will see this much more clearly in the next season. i don't know if he will tolerate even steve's (we'll talk about him later). i don't know, i'm scared about him. i'll explain better later.

mike: so, i think they'll do something with mike like vecna'd but he won't die. just sayin': what would be the happy ending for will if mike died? yeah, this is a pretty selfish example, but it's the truth. and mike just can't die, he deserves some happines in this somewhat dark period for him. i swear i will punch someone (a lot of dudes) if he dies.

erica: nah she's a girlboss she just can't die

suzie: no

nancy: she's a girlboss too but i'm not sure she's totally safe rn, it's not sure that she won't die, that's it.

robin: there's not any reason for killing her, facts.

argyle: duh???

jonathan: doubts. many doubts. too many doubts. he could. duh i don't want this.

steve: 99,9% he's fucked. listen. it's too obvious. in the next season he will (finally) understands and accepts that he dosen't need romantic love in his life to be happy (reminds me of someone or am i wrong? right, el?) and he will probably die like a hero or something. he's the only one with (almost) full character development, when jonathan still has many things to solve. and the fans love steve. he'll die. and if dustin will die with him i'd- anyway...talking again about dustin. i'm scared about the fact that when (not if) steve dies, he will die in dustin arms (like someone else, his name starts with e and finish with ddie munson.) my boy dustin will be so fucking tired.

eddie: "he seems pretty fucking dead to me" lmfao i'm sorry

vickie: nah

joyce: she can't right????

hopper: he already cosplayed Jesus, that's enough

murray: probably.

enzo: also probably.

lonnie: yes because he deserves it.

vecna-001-henry: yes.

[sangcreole]

Hi! I am asking this to you, the mun, cause you're the only Louis expert I know. How do you think Louis viewed Lestat saving his life at the end of Merrick? What do you think he thought about his new body and new powers? Did he think Lestat condemned him to darkness yet again? Was he grateful that he didn't die?

ANON WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY

listen I'll be honest, it's been like 4 years since I read merrick start to finish, so this is a part of canon I'm actually not an expert on! On this blog, I don't count Merrick as canon, so I don't write post-suicide Louis. I'm still so butthurt about the whole thing and kinda erased it from my memory so please know my grasp on this era of canon is skewed and obscured by my love for louis LMAO

I think, ultimately, Louis IS relieved at his salvation for two reasons. The first being that Louis was literally not in his right mind when he ended his life. I know he had planned to end it before Merrick cast her spell on him, however his suicide note is so egregiously out of character, I refuse to believe it was Louis himself who wrote it. If Louis were ending his life on his own terms, I honest to god don't think he'd be able to do it without saying goodbye to Lestat (and Armand honestly!!). Or at least write more than two goddamn sentences in his fucking suicide note. But ANYWAY my own saltiness aside, I do think that part of him being thankful for being brought back has to be informed by the fact that he didn't even die on his own terms in the first place y'know?

In terms of him being saved by Lestat.......look, it's something I'll never not be devastated by, okay? For so long, Louis was defined by his weakness, and he embraced it not only because it allowed him to cling to the last dying embers of his humanity, but also because his weakness was what would allow him to eventually die, which he sees as a gift. He says himself: "the ability to die is key," and so on the one hand I think one of his greatest motivators for rejecting the ancient blood was simply that he was too scared to go on forever, he wanted to cling to his exit strategy.

The thing that breaks my fucking heart about Lestat’s decision to save Louis though is that he only does it because he genuinely believes Louis would want to be saved. He begs Merrick and David to listen to his thoughts because if Louis doesn’t want to be revived, Lestat is aware that bringing him back might result in absolute catastrophe. So even if we don’t know whether Louis wanted to be saved or not, we do know that Lestat was acting with his best intentions, that he wouldn’t have done it unless he 100% believed it was what Louis wanted. Ultimately, like most things that happen in these books, a thread can be traced back to the essential question of do we, the audience, trust Lestat and his judgment?

David (I begrudgingly admit) also makes some good points when he and Lestat are debating whether or not to revive him— ultimately, Louis had been looking to die for a long while, and the Claudia Debacle had given him enough nerve, but having "survived" one day in the sun, that nerve is probably gone. We'll never know what Louis was actually thinking in that moment, but I do think David is right on this one. I'm sure it was an intentional narrative choice, the way this sort of mirrors Louis' first turning, when he was still human and wanted to die but didn't have the courage, and relied on Lestat to give him a new life. He wanted to die and, having tasted death, wanted once more to live.

Once Louis is revived, he does thank Lestat and David and Merrick, but honestly I think the most telling passage is when he describes his new senses— the way he can hear far away music and feel mortals on the street— and he describes it as "sweet and welcoming" and to me this moment just makes my heart ACHE because it reminds me of when Louis was a young fledgling in awe of the simplest things like the light of the moon or the buttons on Lestat's jacket LOL! While it's clear Louis is overwhelmed by the power upgrade, there is also this renewed sense of wonder and jubilance, and he admits that he finally feels a part of something.

TL;DR— even though I fucking abhor this part of canon and refuse to write about it, I do think Louis is grateful for the chance to live again, and I think a case could be made for the way he approaches his new powers with curiosity rather than horror.

[inyourreves]

"Fixing" Red Velvet's Birthday Music Video because I'm an unsatisfied snob 🎂

1. Styling👗

The fact the girls wore very basic and casual outfits, especially when the MV is so campy, felt timid. Yeah it's trendy and palatable but it's boring. Birthday was ripe for Zimzalabim-esque fashion but actually getting it right.

Not a one-to-one but a general gist of what I'd like. When the girls are interacting with zany characters and environments, it'd make sense they'd match it. Furs, frills, bows, patterns, and a lot of colour! Make them look like walking birthday presents 😫

2. Staging🎭

I seriously have a bone to pick with how so many of the shots made the story hard to follow. The MV generally suffered from terrible lighting, bad framing, and fast cuts.

It sounds nitpicky but the "red light green light" clip was so easy to have filmed more clearly and dynamically by putting the camera over Yeri's shoulder. Also, Yeri turns her head away from the camera that makes her action hard to read. If anything, why didn't the director just do another take and asked Yeri to turn her head the other way???

The other 2 shots are so dark. I didn't even notice Joy's enemy in the corner until I took the screenshot and a lot of people missed Wendy's because he's way off at the side in the dark.

The fourth pic is... Everything wrong. It's dark, it's poorly framed, and I didn't even notice the girls' summoning circle until the third watch. These were just the glaring shots but these issues were littered throughout the MV.

3. Set Design 🛋️

Honestly, a lot of it looks good! But since I'm nitpicking and reimagining the MV, I would still change it a bit. Because the story is Red Velvet going through this building to crash the Gingerbread Man's party, I would've made the sets look like rooms. It'd visually be more cohesive and interesting. The girls are picking up keys too so it'd make sense to see them unlock some doors.

Again, this is the gist of what I'd like. I think it'd be cool to see each themed room be cluttered and claustrophobic and as if you just entered a wormhole. The blue room with the fluffy enemy only had a tree but it'd have personality with some blue, monochromatic furry furniture. Something like the sets from "But I'm a Cheerleader".

I liked the knock-off Edward Scissorhands set, all it needed were walls, either grass walls or a red. And as for Seulgi's enemy, I would've put them in a room with props like a giant dog bowl and dog house and make the room look like a playpen. Just a few examples that I think would help enrich the world building and showcase these characters' quirks better!

In conclusion...

I love the concept and idea for Birthday and we'll probably never see another concept like it which is why I'm so devastated it fell flat. It was the zany, campy, maximalist music video that was too good to be true. Red Velvet music videos have honestly been lukewarm as of late and I'm hoping for when they can return to their iconic era.