#(also i feel like this is what i’m known by now so i’m using the other one for my very desolate selfship blog)

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Fish Tale

Summary: Reader has formed an unusual relationship with a mermaid that saved her life a few months before. This relationship evolves further when a friend of that mermaid watches them have their fun, and even further evolves when a group of sailors find the mermaids

Warnings: fantasy typical violence (fights with fists, knives & swords), light angst (reader gets hurt but lives), Reader has a penis, smut (vaginal penetration, brief handjob, oral, fingering)

Authors note: I'm sorry its so late 😭 hope you guys still enjoy it!

Word count: 8353

WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Halloween 2024 Masterlist

  Waves gently roll up on the sand as you walk along the shoreline. Up ahead, among the rocks, you can just barely make out the shine of red tresses in the moonlight, and it brings a smile to your face. You make your way further down the beach, heading right for the rock pile. As you get a bit closer the individual turns and smiles at you

   “You're late” she scolds, but her voice softens, “I was starting to get worried”

   “I”m sorry, my love. The crew insisted I go with them to the pub tonight and wouldn't take no for an answer”

   “It’s okay, I’m just glad you're here now” she says, patting the sand beside her, “Sit with me?”

   “It would be my pleasure” you reply, already starting to work your boots off

   You sit down beside her in the damp sand and let the waves wash over your lower legs. Beside you her tail swishes playfully in the shallow water, and you take a moment to appreciate the way her dark scales shine. It reminds you of a starlit sky, inky black with small specks that shimmer

    “The night I rescued you was like this” she comments, bringing you out of your thoughts, “Calm and peaceful after the storm that had hit the day before”

   “It was. And I’m still so grateful that you found me. I wouldn’t be here if not for you.”

   “I’m glad I found you too, I’ve never known a human like you” she admits, bringing her hand to rest on yours

   “You've never known a human at all” you tease

   “Personally, no. But I’ve come across enough to know what they think of my kind and I know how they treat us. You aren’t like that though, you're different.” 

   “Well, I never saw any point in hating or fearing your kind. Even before you rescued me” you admit

   “That's why you're special” she says, squeezing your hand affectionately, “You don’t hate what you don’t understand”

   “Well, you're special too since you don’t either. I’m sure there's plenty of your kind that would despise me”

   “There are.” She nods, “It's why I always have us meet here, they’d never risk being in this cove”

   “Which is funny because most of my kind wouldn’t be here either. The average townsperson doesn’t even know this cove is here. And most sailors are too afraid it's haunted by the pirates that were killed and buried here a century ago.”

   “Lucky us” she comments, letting her hand move from yours on the sand to cup your cheek 

   “Lucky us indeed” you agree, leaning closer to her, “I’ve missed you”

   “I’ve missed you too, so much” she says, pulling you in for a kiss

   You shift in the sand to be closer to her as your tongue slides into her mouth, and her hands grasp the back of your shirt tightly. She lets out a moan as your hand caresses the scales of her tail and pulls you even closer

   “I need you, dorogoy(darling)” 

   A jolt of arousal goes through you at her admission and you can feel your pants beginning to get tighter at your crotch. You shift slightly to alleviate the pressure, which she notices, and she eagerly starts to palm your bulge. You let out a soft moan at the action but quickly move her hand aside to undo your trousers. She watches you strip and chuckles when you stumble, but all humor is forgotten once you're completely bare in front of her.

  You straddle her tail and brush her long hair behind her back, exposing her neck gills and breasts to both your eyes and the night air. She shivers slightly, but also bites her lip in anticipation as she watches you eye her like a hungry seal

   “You're so beautiful” 

   She moans as you grab her tits, and her tail shifts beneath you as she attempts to seek more pleasure. You chuckle at her eagerness but relent, letting go of one of her plump mounds to grab your cock and guide it to her slit. There's already a decent amount of her arousal leaking out from it and onto her scales which helps you to slide inside her with ease. You both let out moans at the feeling of your tip spreading her open, and she lets out another as you slip further in

   “God, you feel so good” you murmur as you lower yourself further down, making her lean back and rest snuggly in the sand

   She wraps her arms around your neck to pull you even closer, “So do you…fuck”

   You smirk at that and begin to thrust your hips. Her hold on you tightens as you find a rhythm and you're almost certain you can feel her nails breaking the skin on your shoulder blades, but you hardly care. Your only focus right now is bringing her pleasure while getting yours as well

   You brace your hands in the sand beside her as you quicken your pace and start to trail kisses across her chest as she pants, “Yes…yes…right there!”

   “Fuck yes” you hum in agreement, feeling yourself beginning to throb as her walls flutter around you, “I’m gonna cum”

   You admission makes a deep moan leave her before she's able to respond, “Me too, cum with me, please”

   With a few more thrusts you're bringing her over the edge, and you follow swiftly behind. You continue to fuck her through both your orgasms, though your pace is slower now, to prolong the feeling and only stop when she whimpers and pushes on your shoulder gently

   You still inside of her and lean down for a kiss. It's full of passion and longing on both ends, and you can practically feel her begging the universe for morning to never come, so the two of you can spend forever like this. Together, intertwined in passion in the still warm sands on the shore. But you unfortunately know that wish will never come to be

   She breaks the kiss and looks at you with such care that your heart could burst, “I love you”

   “I love you too, Tasha”

   She tries to not let her emotions show, but the shine of unshed tears doesn’t go unnoticed, “I wish it could always be like this. Just the two of us, together and not confined to the secrecy of nights”

   “I know” you murmur, resting your forehead against hers as you shift an arm closer to her to offer comfort, “I wish that too, so badly”

   Her hands cup your face, “Will you hold me?”

   You nod and shift away from her, pulling your now softened member free of her as you situate yourself. You both take a moment to appreciate the way your seed spills from her before you move to lay in the sand beside her. Your arms wrap around her waist and you pull her flush against you. She wraps her arms around you as well and nuzzles her face against your neck.

   The two of you stay like that, wordlessly embracing each other as your hands softly map out the muscles of her back while hers keep you as close as possible until you both fall into a peaceful sleep

   You're awoken hours later by the sound of gulls nearby and when you open your eyes you can just barely see the sun beginning to rise over the horizon. Your gaze then falls on the still sleeping mermaid in your hold and you can’t help but smile. She's so beautiful and looks so at peace like this. You wish you could hold her like this whenever either of you saw fit or wanted it, not just as she slept. But longing for the impossible will do you no good, so instead you shuffle closer and press a gentle kiss to her neck just above her gills.

   The corners of her mouth twitch ever so slightly, “Good morning”

   “Good morning, my love” you reply, letting your fingers run through her hair

   “Do we still have some time together?”

   You glance back to the sunrise, “A bit”

   “Good” she hums, wrapping her tail around your legs, “Don’t want to say goodbye yet”

   “I never want to” you admit

  She smiles at you sadly, “Neither do I”

   You lean forward and connect your lips to hers, momentarily taking both your minds off your impending departure as you both pour your love for the other out into the kiss. After a few minutes of making out you reluctantly pull away, but she pulls you back in for more

   Finally you manage to break the kiss, “Tasha, I have to go”

   “Stay?” she asks, looking at you with such longing that your chest aches, “Just a bit longer?”

   “You know I wish I could” you reply, cupping her face and brushing away a stray tear, “But I can’t. I’m sorry my love”

   Though disappointed she understands, “When will I see you again?”

    “Two days from now” you answer as you sit up. You grab your discarded clothes and shake the sand out before beginning to put your shirt back on, “It's not a long wait, but I will still miss you”

   “I’ll miss you too”

   You lean back down for another kiss before you stand and start putting your undergarments and pants on. As you do so she slides down the shoreline a bit and gets her tail in the water. She lets the cool water wash away all signs of your night together as she uses her  hands to knock as much sand from her hair as possible. Her gaze falls back on you once your boots are back on and you give her your best smile

   “Go ahead home, my love. I don’t want to leave until I’m sure your safe”

   She smiles at you though it doesn't reach her eyes and she slides further into the water. Once she's deep enough for your liking she turns back around, “Be careful moya lyubov'(my love), I’ll see you soon”

   “I will be, and I’ll see you soon”

   You watch her reluctantly go under the water and you're able to track her shallow movements for a bit until she goes out past where any man would dare swim. It's only then that you turn and start to head back up the beach. You enter the treeline and follow your slightly worn path back to the main road, which you then follow to town. Thankfully it was early enough that most folk would still be asleep, and those that weren’t were either too hungover to care about your disheveled appearance or were fellow sailors themselves and knew better than to ask where one of their own found themselves after a night of drinks.

   Eventually you make it back to your small house and are greeted outside by the ornery stray that you let crash at your place. You chuckle at his scraggly meow and reach down to pet him. He purrs and flops down in front of you

   “Silly cat. Come on, it's breakfast time”

   He hops up and scurries to your front door where he yowls and scratches at the wood. He bolts inside as soon as you open the door and runs right to your small table. He jumps up on it and yowls some more, clearly impatient with you. You chuckle and toss him a fish you'd grabbed on your way through town. He happily licks and munches on it as you head back outside to collect some water from your well. Once back inside you head to your room with the small bin of water and strip yourself.

   You use a sponge and the basin of water to clean yourself up and get rid of all the remaining sand and grime from your body. After you deem yourself clean enough you get changed and head back into the other room. All that's left on your table are the bones of the fish and the cat now sits in your windowsill all stretched out

   “I’ll see you later boy.” you tell him, scratching his chin before heading out the door and back to the docks

   Finally it's two days later and Natasha can hardly contain her excitement. She thought she was being discreet enough, but apparently she hadn’t been because her best friend, fellow mermaid Wanda, is inquiring about her mood

   “What's got you so happy today?”

   “Am I not normally happy?” Nat deflects, but it doesn’t deter her friends curiosity

   Wanda rolls her eyes, “You are, but tonight seems different. It's like you're anticipating something”

   Nat just shrugs, “Can’t I just be in a good mood?”

   “You can, I’m sorry” Wanda says, deciding it's best to drop the matter. Though she definitely knows her best friend is up to something. 

   Hours later this is confirmed when she notices the redhead slip away from their pod. She knows she should give her friend privacy, but she also knows Nat is hiding something and she's far too curious to just let that slide. She discreetly follows behind at a distance, making sure she's far enough behind to not be spotted but also close enough that she wouldn’t lose the redhead. 

   Eventually they’re in shallow water by the shoreline, and when Nat slides herself up on the beach Wanda takes cover behind some rocks nearby. She hopes that with only her head above the water she will blend in with them in the cover of darkness. She watches as a human appears and starts to make their way down the beach towards her friend. Her heart hammers in her chest as panic fills her, she can see that Nat also notices the human so why doesn’t she hide? Why does she sit there like an open target?

   Natasha can hardly contain herself when she finally sees you approaching her, if she had legs she knows she’d be running to you. Instead she sits and waits with a big smile on her face as you hurriedly advance. As soon as you're within arms reach she holds out her arms to you and you let out a chuckle. You eagerly oblige however and quickly kneel in the sand to engulf her in your embrace

   “Missed you” she mumbles against your neck as she practically melts into your hold

   You card your fingers through her still damp locks, “Missed you too. I always do”

   She pulls back a bit in order to give you a kiss, which you happily reciprocate before sitting down fully in the sand. Nat doesn’t move far though and keeps her arms firmly around you, but you don’t mind. You're just as happy to hold her as she is

   As the two of you embrace, Wanda nearly has a meltdown. What in the world was Natasha doing sneaking off to meet a human? What in the world was she doing kissing a human? This wasn't just out of character for the older mermaid but was quite dangerous as well. It just didn’t make sense. There were plenty of suitable members of their pod and plenty in it that liked the redhead, so she couldn't fathom why she’d chose to be with a disgusting and terrible creature like humans.

   She knows this is a private moment between her best friend and her apparent lover, but knowing what humans are capable of, knowing what they’ve taken from her,  she just can’t find it in herself to leave. She probably wouldn’t be much help if something happened, mind you, but she’d rather be here just in case rather than leave Natasha at the mercy of a potential threat. 

    Back on shore you continue to hold Natasha, whose hands travel down to your own to toy with your fingers. However as she does so her eyes follow and she notices an injury to your forearm. Her brows furrow in concern as one of her palms soothes your inflamed flesh

   “What happened?”

   “Rope burn” you answer, “A rigging line near me snapped. Thankfully this was all that happened”

   She pretends to understand fully, but she gets the gist, “You’re okay then?”

   “Yeah, I'll be healed up in no time”

   She continues to gently caress your skin there for a bit, trying to distract herself from the nagging thoughts at the back of her head about how she wouldn’t know if you were badly hurt until you missed showing up for a nighttime rendezvous. You can sense a bit of her inner turmoil and pull her closer, hoping that the current closeness to you will drown out the negativity

   The two of you spend the next couple hours in various cuddled positions while talking about everything and nothing. You were both truly content to just get this time together, it wasn’t rare per say, but it was always hard for both of you to be without each other throughout the day. And even harder to spend a few days and nights apart from each other entirely. Normally that meant Nat and you would spend the night together on the beach, but she knew her best friend had been suspicious today and didn’t want to risk it

   “I should go” she says, quickly continuing once she notices your hurt and confused expression, “Wanda caught on thay I was excited for something today, I just don’t want to risk her being nosey and waking early or perhaps not even be sleeping yet”

   You nod in understanding, “Okay. I’ll see you here tomorrow, right?”

   “Of course” she assures, leaning in for a kiss

   After you break apart you reluctantly let her go and watch her slide into the water, “I love you”

   “I love you too” she replies with a sad smile before submerging

   As you stood and walked back up the beach you had no idea that a confrontation was occurring just below the waves. As soon as Nat had started to depart Wanda had dove under and waited, this was a conversation that definitely could’t occur back at their pod.

   “Wanda, what-”

   “Don’t” she interrupts, “Natasha, what the hell are you thinking?! A human?! Really?!”

   “She's different” she stresses

   But Wanda isn’t having it, “She's a human!”

   “She isn’t afraid of us, she doesn’t find us disgusting, she isn’t cruel or violent” she explains, “She is nothing but kind, generous and loving”

   Wanda still looks displeased and crosses her arms, “She's still a human. What would happen if the rest of the pod found out, or your parents?”

   Natashas eyes widened, “You can’t tell them, please Wanda.”

   “I’m just trying to keep you safe” she stresses

   “I am safe!” Nat assures, “Y/n would never hurt me, not ever. She loves me, just as I love her”

   “And what about her friends or just her townspeople, do they share that sentiment?”

   “You know they don’t” she scoffs

   “Then you aren’t safe”

   “Wanda, please” she begs, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I’ve never been treated the way she treats me. Can’t you just be happy for me and let me have this? Please?”

   Wanda bites her tongue, keeping the snide comment about not being able to fully be with this human anyway so why did it matter to herself, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

   “I know, and I love how fiercely protective you are, but I promise you, Y/n is different. And she would do anything to keep me safe” The younger mermaid huffs, clearly not convinced, “I’m seeing her again tomorrow, come with me”

   “What?”

   “Come with me, come meet her” Nat explains, “You’ll see what she's really like and maybe you’ll understand. But even if you still don’t you can at least be at ease knowing I’m in good hands with her”

   “I don’t know Nat…” she sighs

   “Please, just do this. And if you still have bad feelings about it after meeting her then….then you can tell my parents.” 

   “You really mean that?” she questions, finding hard to even entertain the idea of enjoying a humans company

  “I do” she confirms 

   “Okay. I’ll come with you tomorrow”

   Nat lets out a sigh of relief, “Thank you”

   “Mhm, now come on. Let's get back before someone notices our absence and we have to explain”

   The next night comes quicker than Natasha had anticipated, probably due to how nervous she is. She wants to believe that Wanda will be able to get over her deep hatred for the entire human race once she gets to know you and maybe eventually she can even become friendly with you. But she's aware of just how much the other woman has lost at the hands of humans and would understand if that never happened. Really she just needs Wanda to like you, and considering how easily she liked you, she's hopeful, but still nervous.

   “Are you ready to have your midnight rendezvous with your lover?”

   Nat tries to hide the fact that her best friends teasing has made her blush, “Quiet, someone might hear you”

   Despite her disapproval Wanda chuckles, “Come on, lets go”

   The two swim in a comfortable silence until they near the shoreline, “Let me go up first and explain whats going on?”

   Wanda nods, “Sure, I wouldn’t want to scare your human away.”

   Nat glares at her before she swims up and slides onto the beach. She only has to wait a few minutes before you arrive. You eagerly greet her like you normally do, with a hug and a kiss, which she eagerly indulges you in. But then you notice her looking at you rather seriously

   “What's wrong?”

   “Nothing wrong, at least, I hope so” she starts out, “My friend Wanda- ”

   “Your best friend”

   Nat smiles and feels her heart flutter, just the fact that you always remembered the small things about her made her feel so cared for, “Yes, well, she followed me here last night. She saw us together.”

   Your face pales, “I image she isn’t happy”

   “She isn’t happy about it, but she's willing to meet you. To try and understand us.” she explains, “She's waiting for me to grab her, I just wanted you to know”

   “Okay, yeah. Go ahead”

   She quickly slides back into the water and shortly emerges with a brunette mermaid in tow. She looks a bit grumpy but she's just as beautiful. You smile warmly at her in the hopes to ease the tension between you both. She slides up on the beach beside Natasha.

   “Hi Wanda, it's nice to meet you, Natashas talked a lot about you.” you greet, “I’m Y/n”

   Wanda nods in your direction, “I unfortunately can’t say the same”

   Nat blushes a bit in embarrassment, “I just knew how you’d react”

   Is quiet for a moment before Wanda regards you, “How did you two meet?”

   “She saved my life” you admit, “I was out on my old fishing vessel and there was a sudden storm, the ship took major damage and I fell overboard. I was adrift at sea on some debris for a few hours. Once the storm passed she found me. She thought I was dead at first until she got closer, and she was surprised by my calm reaction to her. We spent some time just staring at each other and talking before she took me to shore”

   Wanda gives her friend a side glance, “That's all it took?”

   She shrugs, “She didn’t respond to me like most humans do and was kind. I wasn’t just going to leave her out there. The elements would have killed her quickly, or the sharks would have. That felt cruel”

   Wanda realizes she differs from Natasha greatly here, because she would have just left you there to die. In her eyes, after losing both parents and her brother to their cruel ways, all humans deserve to die. It didn’t matter if they were in trouble or if they seemed nice. A human was a human.

   “So you two just started seeing each other after that?”

   “Kinda” Nat says, “We were both pretty enamored with each other and agreed to start meeting up at this beach on occasion.”

   “Eventually on occasion became every free moment we both had, and we realized we felt something for each other.” you explain

    “Something we couldn’t deny” Nat continues

   Wanda observes the way you both look at each other, and she recognizes the love that's so obviously there. She used to see it all the time in her parents, and if she was finally being honest with herself it's also the same way she herself looked at Natasha

   “Promise me that you’ll take care of her? That you won’t hurt her?” Wanda asks, staring at you intently

   “I promise. Natasha means the world to me, I could never harm her”

   Nat grabs ahold of your hand and the brunette nods, “You better mean that, or else”

   You chuckle slightly and look at Nat, “You were right, she did give me the talk”

   The three of you spend the rest of the night talking, and you and Wanda get to know each other a bit. She isn’t incredibly open about anything, but she's far more talkative than Natasha had anticipated her to be. She's happy about that though, and she thinks you’ll be good for Wanda. Carrying around so much hate and bitterness for your entire species was slowly driving her down a dark path, and truthfully she was worried at times that she’d lose the brunette to it. But this was a good start in the opposite direction.

   After a few more hours pass they decide they should head back, and you bid them both farewell. Your goodbye with Nat was of course longer and more intimate, which Wanda teased you both about before they slipped into the sea and headed home.

   It didn’t take long after that for a new routine to occur. Now instead of only Natasha visiting you at night, Wanda did too. Not every time, as she still wanted to give you and Nat your time together as a couple, but she did occasionally tag along. It was nice, for both you and her. It gave you a mermaid other than that to learn things about and from, and it made you feel more at ease knowing Nat had a good friend. And it helped Wanda see that there is some good out there in humans. It might not be common but it did exist, and knowing you better also helped her trust you with her best friend's care.

   And Natasha was more than happy to see the two of you getting along. Other than her family, you and Wanda were the most important people in her life so for you to be becoming friends made her incredibly happy. She had always hoped the two of you would be able to get close, she just hadn't known how it would come to be. Thankfully, Wanda had taken care of that part by following her curiosity. Something both you and Nat still teased her for. 

   But one night, to everyone's surprise, about three months after you and Wanda had solidified your friendship another change happened. It started out as any normal night with Natsha would. She came alone this time, or so she thought, and waited for you on the beach as she usually would. You greeted her like usual, holding her close and giving her a few kisses. But it was clear rather quickly that she wanted and needed more than that tonight. She eagerly pulled you closer, kissed you deeper and palmed your bulge. 

   You groaned against her lips and pressed yourself further into her touch, “Tasha”

   “I’m right here, detka(baby)” she assures in a hushed tone as she continues her movements. 

   After a few more strokes she undoes your pants and slips your now hardened member free. You let out a subconscious sigh of relief as you're freed from the confines of your pants, and when her hand wraps around you again you throb. She smirks at you and your expression of enjoyment before she lowers herself. She wraps her lips around your tip and teases it with her tongue

   “Oh god, Tasha” you moan as you bring your hand up to tangle in her still damp hair

   She hums around you and takes you deeper into her mouth, eliciting sounds of pleasure from you as she begins to bob her head. Between her tongues movements, the feeling of her mouth around you, and the sounds she makes as she chokes on your cock, you know you won’t last terribly long

   What both of you failed to realize however was that at some point Wanda had changed her mind about joining Natasha on the beach tonight. When the redhead had first asked about it she had declined but she was bored tonight and decided no harm could come from heading up a bit late. She hadn’t anticipated that the two of you would be involved in such an act, let alone right out in the open

   She knows she shouldn’t be watching, this was a very personal and intimate act, but she finds herself unable to look away. She’d be lying if she claimed to have never had any more than friendly feelings for her best friend, and as she got to know you she found those same feelings emerging. She never intended to say anything as she valued her friendships with both of you too much to risk ruining them in any way. But maybe there was no harm in merely watching. At least that's what she told herself

   Back on the beach you're getting close to release, and Natasha knows it based on the way you throb in her mouth. She doubles down on her efforts and with a few more bobs of her head she finds herself swallowing your load. She releases you with a soft pop and looks up to find you trying to catch your breath. But when you open your eyes, your shocked to see Wanda out in the water. Nat feels the way you stiffen and immediately turns to see whats wrong and she's shocked to see Wanda as well. 

   But her eyes briefly meet yours and she smirks as she looks back out to the brunette, “Well, are you just going to wade there all night?”

   Wanda's cheeks heat up as she realizes she's been caught, and she decides to come forward. She joins you both  on the beach, “I’m sorry, I hadn’t meant to intrude”

   “If you wanted to see, or to join, all you had to do was ask Wans” the redhead admits

   Wanda is taken back by this, and searches her best friend's face for any sign of teasing or insincerity, but she finds none. She looks at you then and sees nothing but a soft and welcoming expression

   “You think Y/n and I havent noticed how close you’ve been getting with us? You think we haven’t been feeling and wanting some of the same things?”

   Wanda just stares, too shocked by the admittance to say anything, so you speak up, “We have noticed Wanda, and we want you too”

   “You do?”

   Nat smiles and cups her face, “We do”

   And that's how Wanda finds herself on her back in the sand with Nat groping at her tits and sucking marks against her neck while your fingers stretch her open. She whimpers as you curl them just right and her tail thrashes lightly in an adorable manner

   “You're doing so good for us” you coo as you continue to pump your fingers, causing her walls to clench down around you

   She moans again at Nat smirks against her collarbone, “Thats it Wans, just like that. Just let go”

   She moans your names as she comes undone, clutching at the redhead while wrapping her tail around you to keep you both close as you continue to help her through her orgasm. Eventually you pull your fingers free and offer them to Nat, whole eagerly cleans them

   You look down at Wanda with a smirk, “We’re going to have so much fun with you, sweetheart”

   A few months have gone by since then, and Wanda has easily fit into your dynamic. You're a bit more at ease now too, knowing that in your absences they at least have each other. But god do you miss them terribly when away. Thankfully your crew would be taking some much needed time off, and you intended to spend every night of that time on the beach with the two of them. You knew they were as excited as you were.

   Your just on your way to the market to procure supper for the night when one of your crewmates, the youngest of them actually runs up to you as if his pants were ablaze

   “Y/n! Come on, you gotta come with me!” he shouts as he starts to pull you away from the hustle and bustle of the market. You have no choice but to follow

   “What's all the fuss about Charlie?” you ask as the younger man hurries you along

    “Phil and the guys caught something, and you have to see it to believe it!”

    Your stomach twists as he suddenly turns onto the rather hidden path that you usually take to the cove. But you try to quench your anxieties. You normally met them at night afterall and it was still early morning, surely they wouldn’t be here yet. Phil probably nabbed a big hammerhead, you know they frequented the old wreck nearby.

   “Charlie! Down here!” you hear Stu call out as you both break through the tree line and step onto the beach. 

   He's pointing at a net that Erik is attempting to drag further out of the water. A task that is much harder than it should be due to the intense flopping of the nets contents. Charlie quickly bolts down the beach to help him and as you get closer you can finally make out what's thrashing around in the green and brown netting. And that's when your heart drops into your stomach. It's just as you feared, the occupants of the net are indeed your two beloved mermaids, and they're beyond terrified. Natasha does a good job at seeming stoic, but you've learned to read her well. And Wanda doesn’t even try to hide it as she clutches onto the redhead. But after everything humans have done to her family, you don't’ blame her

   “Kogda ya osvobozhus', ya pererezhu tebe vse glotki!(when I am free, I will cut all your throats!)” she snears

   “Keep your spells to yourself sea witch, or I’ll carve out your tongue right here!” Phil threatens as he kicks her red tail. That's when he notices your arrival, “Ah, Y/n!”

   “Phil.” you curtly greet, trying not to let any venom from the rage you currently feel slip into your words as you feel two pairs of green eyes land on you. 

   “Look at what I managed to capture!” he says all excited, “Can you believe it!”

   “Such rare creatures” Erik says, “To find two of them, we are lucky!”

   “Yeah, and all of it's bad. They're such disgusting things” Stu adds, and you have to fight back the urge to correct him with your fist

   “They're monsters. Killers” Charlie adds, “One of these things took my father to the grave, if given the chance, they'd take us to our graves too.”

    “Dorogoy(darling), please” Natasha calls out, breaking your heart

   You know it seems like you're not going to do anything to help them, as all you've done is stand and stare, but in reality you've been planning how to take out all four men on your own since you laid eyes on her and Wanda. 

   “It can speak like we do” Erik states in awe

   Stu looks absolutely mortified, “I say we gut them right here. Bring only their corpses back to town. They don’t need to be alive to be seen as more than fables.”

   “Y/n! Please!” Wanda begs, tears streaming down her face

   That's when the chaos momentarily calms, and all men turn to you. You're already braced to fight, as there's no way in hell you’d let them slaughter the women you loved.

   “It knows your name” Phil states as he eyes you suspiciously 

   “She. She knows my name” you correct, “Actually they both do, and I know theirs”

   Now Stu is looking at you too, “What?”

   Instead of answering you throw a punch at Erik. He hadn’t seen it coming and so it takes him off balance and he falls to his hands and knees in the sand and Charlie scrambles away from your other side 

   “What the fuck are you doing!?” Phil shouts as he reaches down to help Erik up

    “I’m not going to let you kill them”

    “Why the fuck not?!” Stu questions as he pulls out his knife and points it towards the net, “These things aren’t natural!”

   You pull your knife out too, “I swear if you hurt either of them, I’ll gut you like you threatened to do to them”

   Phil opens his mouth, likely in an attempt to calm everyone down and figure out just what is going on in your head, but Erik doesn’t give him a chance. As soon as he's on his feet again he's charging at you. You dodge his punch and land one of your own to his gut, avoiding using the hand that held the blade. He lets out an oomph as he stumbles away from you and Charlie rushes you next. He's a spry boy and is able to get a few hits in before you get your own in, but he doesn’t fall or stumble like Erik had. Instead he pulls his own knife from his boot

   “I don’t want to hurt you” you stress, “I’m just protecting them”

   “Yeah? And who protected my father? They deserve whatever fate happens upon them!”

   It's clear he's lost to his rage and you nod solemnly, “Then so do you”

   Erik tries to intervene by lunging at you, but you quickly sidestep and get him in a chokehold with your free arm while your other points your knife at Charlie. As you grapple with the two of them, Phil and Stu grab the net and start to pull the women further away from you and towards the treeline. They're putting up too much of a fight however and so the men don’t get far. This pisses them off and they decide to separate the two. You're too busy to notice until Nat lets out a yell

   “Get your hands off her!”

   You glance over to see Stu grabing a fistfull of Wandas hair as he attempts to pull her away from the older mermaid. You can see that Nats held back from doing anything to stop it by Phil holding his cutlass up to her sternum. Rage fills you and you no longer care about harming an unarmed man. You thrust your blade into Eriks chest and he lets out a strangled gasp. You pull the blade free and shove him aside, reading yourself for Charlie. The young boy's gaze falls upon his older friend who now gasps for air and clutches at his white shirt that quickly spreads with blood as he mindlessly stumbles away from you. 

   Charlie wipes a few of his tears as he looks back at you with a sneer, “I’ll kill you for that”

   “You’ll try”

   He runs at you with his knife raised, unintentionally leaving himself open for you. Your free hand grabs his wrist to stop his blade as yours punctures his sternum. His eyes widen and his chin quivers as a drop of blood drips down his chin

   “I’m sorry kid. You’ll be with your father soon.” You doubt the words are any comfort to him, but it makes you feel a bit better as you wrench your knife free of his body 

   You quickly turn on your heel to see that Stu has fully removed Wanda from the net and still has her by the hair. His back is to you though, and Phil is struggling to wrap the net back around Natasha, and so you have an advantage.

   You go running towards them and tackle the man. His knife slips from his hand as does your knife from yours, and the three of you tumble down to the sand. He lets go of the younger mermaids hair to twist himself around and the two of you struggle for control of the other

   “Wanda, go!” you shout as you shove the man's face into the sand, “Get to the water!”

  “But Natasha!” she stresses, turning to look at the other woman only to see the other man now coming towards her

   “I’ll get her!” you promise

  “Go!” Nat adds, “Now!”

   Wanda listens and turns over on her belly and starts to slide herself towards the water. Just as she gets out of reach Stu elbows you in the face, it's hard enough that you can feel blood start to drip as your face meets the sand. Stu grunts as his hands wrap around your throat

   “I swear if you hurt that boy, I’ll-”

   His threat is cut out as your vision starts to go black and your ears start to ring. But you're still with it enough to see Phil go to move past you both, heading to grab Wanda. You can’t let that happen so you kick out with your legs. Thankfully one of them hits Phil in his knee and he stumbles in the opposite direction. It's enough of a distraction that Stus' grip on you lightens and you use that to your advantage. 

   You feel around in the sand until you find a nice sizable rock and you swing your arm powerfully. The rock hit Stu hard and he falls over in a heap. You wiggle free from under him just in time to see Wanda slip into the water, and you let out a sigh of relief. Phils gaze goes to you then to Stu, whose blood is soaking into the sand beneath his head

   “What have you done?”

   “What I had to” you answer

   “You killed your own crewmates!” he shouts, grabbing his cutlass

   You stand and grab yours “I’d do it again if it meant keeping them safe” 

   As your sword clashes with his Natasha looks out to the water. She can’t help but smile when she sees how far out Wanda is, but when she hears the sound of your sword meeting his, her heart sinks. You've done everything you can to keep her and Wanda safe, you've killed your own friends for them. But your weakened after so much, and she's worried you may yet get injured

  Despite her worry she can't just sit here, so she starts to wiggle some more, hoping that the net will have mercy and release her. But then she sees it, your knife glinting in the sand within reach. She shimmies over and reaches out, carefully grabbing the blade and pulling it towards her until the handle is close enough. She wastes no time and starts slicing away at the nets that hold her

   You've managed to slice Phils leg but he's also managed to slice your arm. The two of you had always been the best with the sword, hence why you were the only on the fishing vessels crew that carried them, but this worked against you now. 

   “I’m going to take great pleasure in killing you in front of them” 

   You barely manage to parry his blade in time and you stumble backwards a bit. This seems to amuse him and thinking he has the upper hand he begins to circle you. You mirror his movements and work on catching your breath as he tries to intimidate you. He lunges, but it's more show than it is fight and you manage to slice his hand. He shouts in pain as he drops his sword and he looks at you with pure dred as you lunge.

   “Don’t-” but your blade goes right through his heart, stopping whatever he might say

   You let it stay lodged there and move to help Nat, who you can see has worked herself partially free, “You okay?”

   Relief washes over her features, “Yes, are you?”

   “I’ll be fine, small wounds that will heal” you tell her, kneeling down to pull her tail free from the net, “There we go.”

   But just then Nat sees movement behind you. She doesn’t have time to warn you however and suddenly there's a pain in your side, “Y/n!”

   “I told you I’d kill you if you hurt that boy” You can feel the blood drip from Stus head and onto you as he twists his blade into your ribs

   “Ahgh!” you gasp as the pain sets in and you can feel the air leaving your lungs as he pulls the knife free

   You fall and try to scramble away from him, and just as he goes to grab you again he lets out a scream. You look up to see your knife, which Nat had still been holding, is now lodged in his chest. You smile, damn proud of her, but just as his body hits the sand, yours does too

   “No!” she shouts, sliding over to your side. She places a hand under your head as the other puts pressure on the wound, “Dorogoy(darling)?”

   “Nice throw” you grunt as her face comes into view. You hate that you're the cause of the tears in her beautiful eyes, “Don’t cry”

   “This is my fault” she whimpers, “This is all my fault. If I had stayed away like Wanda said we should”

   “Hey, hey, don’t do that” you tell her, “Don’t blame yourself”

   You're now aware of another presence on your other side and glance over to see Wanda. The brunette looks just as upset as the redhead that's holding you and your heart crumbles further

   “Milaya(sweetheart), you saved us”

   You relax into her hand as she cups your cheek, “Id do anything for the two of you”

   A cough tears its way through you then, and to their horror blood comes up and drips from the corner of your mouth

   “No, no please” Nat begs, pressing harder on your side

   You let out a hiss in pain, “It's okay…”

   “No! No it isn't!” Nat stresses, “I’m not ready to let you go”

   “I’m not either” Wanda adds

   Nat quickly looks to the brunette, “Can you heal her?”

   “I- I don’t know. Agatha only just taught me healing magic” she explains

   “You've got to try, otherwise…”

   Wanda nods, “I’ll try my best”

   She puts her hand over Nats on your wound and lets the redhead pull away so that she is the one now putting pressure on you, and she does her best to focus on closing up the stab. But to her frustration nothing happens. She keeps her hand in place however and keeps trying, willing everything in her to just focus and heal you but still nothing happens

   A wave of anger overtakes her and she can’t help but lash out at the universe, “Enough has been taken from me, I will not lose her! She belongs with us!”

   A sudden rush of red energy surges out of her and into you, taking all three of you by surprise. Nat had seen Wanda's magic before but it had been small red sparks or a small flame like wave, nothing as large as this. And it certainly never made the brunette lean over in apparent exhaustion like she is now currently doing

   “You okay?” Natasha asks, reaching out to steady her. She nods in confirmation 

   Natasha's attention moves back to you then, and for a moment she fears the worst. Though your wound appears to be closed now your eyes are now too and you lay completely motionless, it doesn’t even look like you're breathing. She feels her own breath catch in her throat as she lays a hand on your chest

   “Y/n?” she calls out, barely above a whisper as she gently shakes you

   Your eyes snap open and you take a deep breath, “Holy shit”

   You try to sit up and the redhead moves to help you. Its then that she notices a change in you, something new and very familiar to her but foreign to you is now along your neck

   “It worked?” Wanda asked in disbelief 

   “It more than worked” Nat replies, a few tears building in her eyes, “Look”

   Wanda looks to where Nat is pointing to see that you now have a pair of gills, just like theirs. Somehow in her anger fueled magical outburst she had not only made sure to keep you alive but had also made you more like them

   “What's wrong?”

   They both shake their heads but its only Wanda that finds her words, “You can come home with us”

   “What?” you ask again, even more confused now, “What do you mean?”

   Nat grabs one of your hands and brings it to your neck and your eyes widen in realization, “See, we don’t have to be apart anymore. You can come home with us”

    “That sounds perfect” you admit, smiling at both women softly

   “You aren’t mad then?” Wanda asks, worried you’d be upset that she made such a massive change

   You shake your head, “Of course I’m not. This is great, if we can actually be together now that is. I’m not sure how accepting your kind will be of my legs”

   Both women smile at you and Nat cups your face, “You’ll be a little different than everyone else, but you’ll be with us. That's all I care about. If anyone makes a fuss about your differences, Wanda and I will deal with them”

   “Damn right we will”

   You laugh, “Let's go home then”

Taglist: @wandaromamoff69 @when-wolves-howl @danveration @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories@imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastorm @zoomdeathknight @aeroae @sashawalker2

[temilyrights]

43) “god you’re so emotionally constipated.” for Emily x Reader please.

history smothers us

emily prentiss x gn!reader

summary: years of unspoken words and misconceptions threaten to destroy what remains of a once close relationship. you couldn't imagine your life without emily. now you look at her and feel every part of the ocean that destroyed you both. featuring prompt "god you're so emotionally consitpated" from my prompt list.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst with a happy ending. mention of blood. no use of y/n. set in season 12. unit chief prentiss.

a/n: thank you so much for the request <3 sorry it took me a while I struggled to find the right idea. I imagine this wasn't what you had in mind but I do hope you enjoy it anyway. also side note: i've deleted my taglist, i'm restarting because it was years old so if anyone would like be re-tagged or anyone new would like to be added pls lmk!

The police lights flash in the midnight sky. Agents and local police spread across the farmhouse. And you, sitting in the back of an ambulance, blood dripping down the side of your head, the beginnings of a headache making itself known.  

The bright torch shining in your eyes makes you wince, but the EMT clears you of a concussion and hands you pain meds to swallow. You drag your hand through your hair, a frustrated sigh leaving your lips. 

The unsub had come out of nowhere and whacked you over the head with a metal pole, and he probably would’ve done a lot more if it wasn’t for Tara being two steps behind you. 

Honestly, you were fine. A little banged up, with a nasty bruise already forming, but the blood had been wiped away and it was almost like it had never happened.

Well, apart from the very angry Unit Chief Prentiss stalking towards you. 

You wish this was an unfamiliar sight, but god she’d been back months now and you don’t think her smile had been pointed in your direction once. 

“What were you thinking?” She scolds, voice sharp and eyes narrowed. You don’t miss the shaking of her hands as she holds them tightly on her hips or the rising flush of her cheeks, both she would blame on the cold but you knew they were born out of concern, not that she’d ever admit it. Not anymore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realise the FBI now required its agents to have the abilities to see through walls.” You roll your eyes, the half-joke an attempt to fix her glare, but you know even as the words pass your lips it’s futile. Your shoulders slump, already tired for the fight ahead,  “He came out of nowhere, Prentiss.” 

Her lips purse, “They require you to be able to clear a room. It seems you might need a refresher course. Maybe until you can be trusted and I deem you requalified it’s best you stay back in quantico.” 

“What?” You ask incredulously. Of all the dumb things- “Let me get this straight, you’re benching me over nothing? Tara was through that door seconds later. I wasn’t defying your orders. You have no reason to do this!”

“I want you to redo your basic training so I know you can be trusted in the field.” She demands, stoic, serious, and so far away from the soft woman you used to be able to reach out to. 

You laugh, but the noise is sad and wild. You shake your head in disbelief, watching the woman in front of you that years ago used to be the person you were closest to in the world. Now you stare at her and feel every part of the ocean that destroyed you both. “God, you’re so emotionally constipated.” 

“Excuse me?” 

You push yourself off the end of the ambulance, bringing yourself to your full height and meeting her gaze. You knew the day she accepted the unit chief position this wouldn’t end well, there was too much history, too much the two of you had left unsaid, hurt and anger smothering any possible relationship left. 

“Let’s not pretend this has anything to do with my performance.” You begin,

words low enough that if she didn’t listen the words threatened to disappear with the wind, “It’s because I got hurt and you’d rather damage my career and ruin the tatters of our relationship than admit that me getting hurt scared you.” 

Emily steps backwards, face stricken. Her hands fall from her hips, her mouth opening and closing as she struggles for words. 

You decide there’s nothing left she can say. You excuse yourself and grab a lift with Luke, happy to leave the crime scene and your boss behind. After everyone’s finished at the farmhouse and packed up at the police station it’s nearing two am and everyone is ordered back to the hotel to catch a few hours of sleep before the flight in the morning. 

Your feet are dragging by the time you make it to your room. The meds have done their job though and your headache had faded away, but nothing but sleep was going to help your heavy and aching bones. You wave a tired goodbye to Tara, who unlike Emily had no issues checking in and making sure you were okay, and then retreat to your room. 

You slump into the chair at the desk, telling yourself you’ll find the energy to get ready for bed in one minute. But so thankful to finally be off your feet. Your reprieve lasts only minutes before a knock sounds at your door. A withered sigh leaves your lips and you consider ignoring it but still find yourself pushing yourself upright and making your way back to the door. 

When you open it, you wish you’d listened to your thoughts. 

“Hi?” You say hesitantly, staring into the tired face of Emily Prentiss. There’s no anger, her shoulders are almost slumped, defeated maybe? You look away, too scared to analyse further. 

“Can I come in?” 

You open the door further allowing her entrance. She smiles, tight lipped at you, nodding her thanks. You close the door and wait for her to speak, pondering how in the hell you both got to awkward silences and forced tight lipped smiles when years ago you two could share looks across the room and know what the other was thinking, spent hours talking and laughing together, how you had built a life and never thought there would be a day that she wasn’t in it with you. 

“We can’t go on like this.” She starts eyes meeting yours before flickering away, “Things between us have not been right since I returned and I think maybe we should clear the air. I want to be the Unit Chief, I want to be back here at Quantico but that only works if we can be a team.” 

You scoff. It slips from your mouth, uncontrolled and harsh. Emily’s gaze snaps to yours, her surprise at the sound clear. You shake your head, “What is there to say?” Where would we even begin?

“I-” She chokes, blinking as the emotions claw at her throat. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Your brows draw in confusion as you shake your head, “What are you talking about?”

“After everything that happened with Doyle-”

Your eyes bulge, “You think I'm still upset about that? God, do you think I’m a monster? You survived. You lived. That’s all that matters.” 

Tears pool in her eyes, but she blinks them away, her gaze shifting to the wall as her fingers pick at a hangnail. She looks back at you, still picking, gaze more open and lost than you’ve seen in a long time. “Then why? I hurt you. I can see it in the way you can barely stand to be around me, like it hurts you to even be in my presence.” 

You blow out a breath, eyes moving around the room before they land back on her and then away again. “It’s not your fault.” You breathe, emotions lodged in your throat and heart beating wildly against your chest as you try and force the words out. “You didn’t hurt me, I hurt myself. There was never going to be a life I led that you weren’t right with me, you know?” You laugh, wet and broken. 

Emily’s mouth falls open, her eyes emotional pits that you don’t dare hold. 

“And then you left for London and I couldn’t exactly be upset because I had no say in what you did with your life. We were just friends. I knew it’s what you needed and I don’t resent you for that. I just…” You take a breath, “I was so angry at myself for missing you, for thinking that I could be someone you would stay for.”

And there it was. The truth. Because at the end of the day, you’ve always just wanted to be enough for the woman in front of you. For her to see you as more than just your friend. To one day have your feelings returned. 

She’d left and you’d both been busy and you’d deliberately tried to separate yourself as well, drawing back from the painful reminder that you weren’t enough. And since her return, all those emotions have been resurfacing, however much you tried to keep them buried. Because falling out of love with Emily Prentiss was just not something you were capable of, and you’ve spent years trying too. 

Emily approaches you, the space between you closing ever so slightly. Your gaze sticks to the ground, scared to see the easy to read emotions across her face. She takes a breath, the sound muffled by the beating of your heart.

“After I came back from Paris, I used to find myself looking at you and knowing I couldn’t be that woman you remembered, the one you sought for. I wanted to. Desperately.” Her voice hitches, and then lowers to a hoarse whisper, “I wanted to be the woman you fell for.” 

Your eyes finally rise, against your will. Tears make their way in delicate paths down her cheeks, she looks every bit as lost as you feel. The only thing stopping you from falling apart is the fear that if you let go you may never recover. 

“I didn’t need you to be anyone. I just wanted you to be yourself. I wanted you to trust me.” You respond gently.

She shakes her head, “No, everyone was looking for that version of me that I couldn’t grasp onto.”

“Emily,” You sigh painfully. Her face crumples, eyes squeezing shut at the sound of her name from your lips. It’s been so long, you know. “You were healing from a trauma. I’ve always wanted the authentic you, whatever that includes. Why would that suddenly change?” 

She nods, a deep frown on her face as she accepts your words. Then a wet laugh, as she wipes away her tears. “I’ve missed you. Every day. I hate being in the same room as you and it being awkward. I used to be able to look at you and know what you’re thinking. I want that back.” 

A small smile curves your lips, “Me too, more than anything.” 

“Yeah?” She questions. Her teeth run across her lip, as she dares to hope. “You think we could get back there?” 

Your heart hammers. “I just need you to be really clear here. What exactly are we getting back to?” 

She steps forward, finally close enough to touch. Her hand hesitantly reaches out and touches yours, her cold fingers intertwining with your warm ones. Your body remembers her touch, relaxes and leans into it automatically. You eat it hungrily, tracking the movement before your eyes rise to meet hers and find soft, open eyes watching you. “I want to make you fall in love with me again.”

Your breath catches in your throat, tears pooling in your eyes as your hand shakes in hers.

“And this time, I promise, I’ll be there to catch you.” 

“We might have a slight problem with that plan.” You laugh, trying your hardest not to sob.

She frowns, nose wrinkling in the way you adore. “What’s that?” 

“It’s pretty difficult to re-fall in love when I never stopped loving you in the first place.” You huff, and Emily laughs, rich and free and bright. Her face joyful and happy, and with the wide bright smile you’ve waited months to feel pointed in your direction. God the sight makes your head spin.

“Is that so?” She asks, hand moving up to cup your cheek, eyes full of love and pointed at you. 

You can only nod, dizzy from her attention and the emotions coursing through your body. 

When her lips find yours it feels like finally coming home. Soft and delicate, both too scared to push too hard, exploring slowing even as her hand holds your cheek and yours fists in her shirt. You’ve waited years for this, and if you get more of these than it will be worth it. Everything is worth it for the feeling of Emily in your arms. 

When she pulls away, it’s too soon. You follow her mouth and she concedes and gives you a couple more slow kisses before she stops herself, resting her forehead against yours.

“I just want to say sorry for earlier.” She whispers into the safe space you’ve built. “You were right, I was scared when you got hurt. Dave’s already kicked my ass for my response, you won’t receive any disciplinary action.”

You nod slightly, her forehead moving against yours, “Thank you.” 

“It won’t happen again.” She promises, sealing the words with a kiss to your lips. 

“I know.” You kiss her again, but this time you break out into a yawn midway through. Your momentarily forgotten exhaustion, making itself known. 

She melts against you, caressing your cheek. “Oh, you need to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow. I’m taking you out for dinner.” 

You bite your lip to hide the smile threatening to take over your face, “A date?” 

She chuckles, rolling her eyes. “Yes, a date. But only if you sleep first.” 

“Your wish is my command.” You can’t stop the grin from taking over your face anymore. You press a peck to her lips and lead her back towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow.” She agrees, eyes fluttering over your face as if she’s committing every aspect to memory. “Sleep well.” 

“You too.” 

She presses one last kiss to your lips before she opens the door and makes her exit. You close the door quietly behind her, sinking back into it and allowing the giggle to finally escape your mouth.

What the fuck had just happened. 

Emily Prentiss kissed you. 

Emily Prentiss has feelings for you. 

You weren’t alone.

You bite your lip and push off the door, finally ready to get ready for bed and praying come morning that this would still be your reality.

taglist: @aburman03

[louisferrignojr]

*deep breath*

the thing is. the fucking thing is.

it's not unrealistic for someone to not dig deeper into their queer identity beyond what they know to be true, which might be "yeah i might be attracted to people of the same gender but i dont have time to get into that right now 'cause life is complicated and i'm in a relationship/i'm not interested in dating right now anyway so what does it matter"

(same goes for figuring out your gender identity. exhibit A:

[image description: a tweet by shaka (@/ScaredAsian) that says, “im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn”. In plain text, it says, “I’m probably nonbinary but I have a job so I don’t really care about that right now.” /end id])

but this doesn't work for evan buckley

who had his little freakout on his first date with tommy and went to talk to his sister who literally told him "now you're more than an ally" and that maybe he's not sure of his feelings but he'll figure them out. (sidenote: she should have said identity instead of feelings. but whatever.)

who has been in a relationship with his boyfriend for six months

who has been known to go on research binges because he has a curious mind and loves learning. tommy's sarcastic "oh good, you found a substack" tells us everything we need to know, y'all.

who has at least one very close queer friend and co-worker, hen fucking wilson; and one friend/acquaintance who is a queer man (we don't know how much he sees josh outside of visiting maddie at dispatch, and like, that one time he hang out with him and maddie and chimney, so it's a little bit up to fanon to decide if they're friend-friends but at the end of the day it is a trusted person and an openly gay man. i mean, we saw how josh stood up for tommy, and schooled the fuck out of buck. finally, a conversation about being queer between two canonically queer characters! only took 8 seasons, huh! i digress.)

and have i mentioned he's been dating his boyfriend for six months? like, if he was ever to have a conversation about being queer... tommy is right there. tommy opened up about his own experience figuring out his sexuality and coming out on their very first date and moreover reassured buck it's okay if he's feeling a little tense about them being out on a date in a public place.

point being: there are people in his life who would be more than happy to talk to him about his newfound identity outside of his relationship with tommy.

taking all of these things into consideration: it's not only inconsistent with the character they have established, but the timeline of it is also really fucking messed up.

and more than that: any faith i may have had in this show to handle a delicate matter like a character exploring their newfound sexuality has flown out the window. they broke the audience's trust with 8x06. i'm not interested in seeing how they're going to move this story forward, because 8x06 was such a particular fuck up, beginning to end, wrt the bucktommy storyline.

and honestly? knowing the format 911 follows, as a network procedural: this is not the right medium to tell this story, at this point in the timeline, because it has become way more complicated than it would have been in s7, immediately following buck's bisexual awakening.

tldr: the premise is sound but the execution is so bad it's practically unsalvageable within the scope of the show (but very manageable in fanfiction, where you can dwell in the character's headspace and dig into what goes on beyond the things they say and do. godspeed, everyone <3)

partly inspired by @firehose118's tags on their post and partly like, being queer. source: dude trust me

[milfhunter6698]

Star girl

Synopsis: You were a talented but underappreciated actress lands a dream role in a highly anticipated romance film directed by a well—respected filmmaker. Your cast opposite Victoria Neuman, an industry icon known for her powerful performances and magnetic screen presence. As you work together, unexpected feelings develop between you, you find yourselves drawn to each other in ways you didn’t expect.

Warnings: 18+ eventual smut, no use of (y/n), cursing, no describing reader’s appearance, explicit language, fluff, suggestive themes, a lot of angst, teasing, hollywood AU, slow burn, Acting, friends to lovers.

AN: Hello hellooo!! happy tuesday everyone, guess what? yep another Victoria Neuman fic because I ain’t gonna even lie and just say that I got over that crazy bitch, I’m missing her like crazy baddd. Anyway this is just something that’s been on my mind, heh… I dunno I mean who wouldn’t love a good Hollywood love storyline. It’s just something short, while I work on a few requests I’ve gotten, I’m gonna also be posting this on ao3 If you’re interested go check it out. Now as always have fun, and lmk what you think because I kind of have mixed feelings about this.

wc: 4.1k

You moved between tables at the cafe, balancing a tray loaded with coffee cups, sneakers squeaking faintly with each step. The place was buzzing with late-morning chatter, filled with the smell of fresh coffee and fried eggs. You’d perfected the art of pretending to be completely focused on your job, but every spare second, your mind wandered back to the idea of acting—your true passion, the career you were chasing even if you were currently only known as “the girl with the tray.”

On your break, you slumped into a corner booth with your phone, scrolling through casting calls, your eyes landing on headlines you’d read a dozen times. Your finger hovered over an audition listing when your phone suddenly vibrated. You barely recognized the number, but your manager’s name popped up on the screen.

“Hey, it’s really not a good time, I’m—”

“Sit down,” he interrupted, his voice breathless with excitement. “Are you sitting down?”

You raise an eyebrow glancing around. “Yeah, I’m sitting. What’s going on?”

“You know that big casting call I sent you on last week?” His voice was buzzing with excitement, a little smug.

“The one you said was a ‘long shot,’ right? Look don’t mess with me. You said they wouldn’t even look at—”

“They looked. And they loved you. You got the part.”

For a second, the noise in the cafe faded to nothing. You blinked, trying to make sure you’d heard him right.

“You’re not serious,” you said, your voice barely a whisper.

“Dead serious,” he said. “This is the role. You’re going to be in a movie with Victoria Neuman. The Victoria Neuman.”

Your heart started to hammer. “Wait, Victoria Neuman? That Victoria Neuman? The one who—”

“The one who’s headlining the Oscars, the one whose face is on every billboard on Sunset Boulevard, yes. I told you it’s big.”

You gripped your phone so tightly your knuckles turned white. “But… how?”

Your manager laughed. “Because you’re good, that’s how. Look, they want to meet you this Saturday for lunch. The director wants to give you the rundown himself.”

You could barely process it. You’d spent so many nights pacing around your tiny apartment, rehearsing lines for auditions that led nowhere, wondering if you’d ever break through. And here it was, your shot.

“I swear… if you’re messing with me, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Trust me, kid. I’d never mess with you on this. So you better get your best outfit ready.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, a small, breathless sound. For the first time in months, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

Saturday afternoon you stood outside an upscale restaurant, your heart thudding as you stared up at the polished glass doors. You’d spent nearly an hour choosing an outfit, finally settling on something simple—a black dress and a vintage jacket you’d found in a thrift shop. You tugged at the sleeves nervously, feeling a strange mix of excitement and intimidation. Your manager had reassured you repeatedly, but the idea of meeting with a famous director and talking about your role felt surreal.

Inside, your manager waved you over, standing beside a man with sharp, discerning eyes and a warm, easy smile. He was younger than you’d expected, dressed casually in a way that somehow made him look more important.

He greeted and you reached out, introducing yourself and trying not to let your nerves show. “Thank you so much for… I mean, this is just…”

He grinned, shaking your hand. “Take a breath. We’re all just people here, no need to be so formal. Grab a seat. Let’s talk.”

You slipped into the seat across from him, trying to play it cool as the waiter poured sparkling water into your glasses. He leaned back, studying you with a quiet intensity that made you feel both exposed and encouraged.

“So, I saw your audition tape,” he started. “You’ve got something—an authenticity that I want in this role.”

You couldn’t help but blush. “Thank you. I’m really honored you thought of me.”

“Now, I’m not going to lie,” he continued, “this project is demanding. The story centers on two women, past lovers who come from very different backgrounds, but they find solace and understanding in each other. It’s raw, emotional. We’re looking for chemistry, vulnerability. That’s why Victoria Neuman is the co-lead.”

At the mention of Victoria’s name, your eyes widened. You tried to hide your reaction, but he noticed, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Yeah, the Victoria Neuman. She’s a big personality, but she’s focused. And demanding. Don’t be surprised if she challenges you—she does that with everyone.”

You took a deep breath. “I’ll… I’ll do my best.”

“Good,” He said, nodding approvingly. “I have a feeling you’ll do more than that.”

You spent the rest of the lunch discussing the film, the script, and his vision for your character. Your excitement grew with each detail, feeling a spark of confidence you hadn’t known you had. By the end of the meal, you couldn’t believe you were about to step into a project like this.

The morning of the table read was overcast, the gray sky adding to your nerves. You arrived at the studio early, clutching your script as you walked into the bustling room. People were milling around, flipping through scripts, chatting casually. Your heart thumped as you found your seat, glancing nervously around the table.

Just as you were trying to steady your breath, you heard a small hush ripple through the room. You looked up and felt your pulse quicken. Victoria Neuman had arrived.

She moved gracefully, exuding a quiet, confident presence. She was dressed simply, yet she looked every bit the star she was, her gaze sharp and focused. She walked over to the table, catching your eye for a brief moment before giving a polite nod.

Your breath hitched. Act normal, you reminded yourself, pretending your palms weren’t sweating. You managed a small smile in return, trying to look calm.

The director greeted everyone and launched into his vision for the film. “This isn’t just a love story. It’s about connection, about finding something real in the chaos. We want to capture those quiet, vulnerable moments, the ones that people don’t talk about but feel every day.”

When it was time for the read-through, you and Victoria shared your first scene together. You focused on your lines, but your heart was pounding as you read opposite Victoria. Her voice was smooth, effortlessly slipping into character, and her eyes stayed locked on you all throughout the scene, intensifying each line.

By the end of the scene, you could hardly breathe. She leaned back, nodding slightly, and then you offered a small, approving smile. It was just a flicker, but it felt like an acknowledgment—a silent promise that you belonged here, too.

After the session ended, you lingered at the edge of the room, replaying the moment in your mind. You were about to leave when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

Turning, you found yourself face-to-face with Victoria, your name escaping her lips softly. “Is it?” she asked, her voice calm but with an unmistakable warmth.

You nodded, trying not to let your voice shake. “Yes. I… I just wanted to say, I’m a huge fan of yours. I’ve watched all your films.”

She gave a soft laugh. “Thanks. I know it must be overwhelming, jumping into something like this. But you were great today.”

Your heart lifted. “Thank you. That really means a lot.”

She nodded, her eyes lingering on you just a moment longer than necessary. “I’ll see you at the next rehearsal.”

As she turned and walked away, you felt a flutter in your chest. You knew this role was going to be life-changing, but you hadn’t expected Victoria’s presence to affect you so deeply. For the first time, you wondered if this film might change your life in more ways than one.

Your apartment was a mess. Scripts were scattered across your small, worn coffee table, along with half-empty coffee cups and stacks of notes. You had highlighted every line, each margin filled with scrawled thoughts and questions. Late into the night, you practiced alone, your reflection in the mirror staring back with the intensity you hoped your character would convey.

The role wasn’t simple. Your character, Lauren, was a guarded, impulsive complex woman burdened by loss. She had loved deeply once but had lost it all, and as you read through the lines, you felt yourself peeling back her layers, finding the pain and resilience hidden beneath.

You practiced your lines over and over, speaking them softly, then with anger, trying to understand the character’s emotional range. You kept Lauren’s experiences in mind, dissecting every reaction and choice she’d made, wondering how you yourself would react in such moments. You hadn’t had much in life, but you knew about chasing dreams, about feeling that endless mix of hope and fear. There was so much of yourself in Lauren—and that scared you. You wanted to do this right, not only for yourself but for the chance you’d been given to stand on this stage.

You arrived on set early your first day, your nerves a steady thrum under the excitement. The studio was a blur of movement—crew members rolling carts stacked with equipment, actors adjusting their costumes, assistants buzzing around the director with notes and coffee cups. Cameras and lights stood like sentinels around the set, wires coiled across the floor in intricate patterns you had to carefully step over.

You spotted your director in the middle of it all, standing beside the cinematographer, discussing the shots for the day. His voice was calm yet energized as he gestured toward the mock-up of the first scene. This was where the magic was happening, the place you’d dreamed of being. And now, you were here, not as an extra or a bit part, but as one of the leads. The weight of that realization pressed down on you, but it was also exhilarating.

“Hello there! Good to see you,” he called, waving you over as he noticed you lingering at the edge of the set. “Ready for the big day?”

You smiled, hiding the nerves that knotted in your stomach. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good, good. Remember, this isn’t just about the lines. It’s about Lauren’s silence, her glances, her gestures. Don’t be afraid to let the camera see that,” He said, his eyes filled with encouragement.

You nodded. Feeling the director’s words sink in, you needed to live the character—not just act her. You weren’t sure if you would be able to pull it off, but you were at least ready to try.

The first few days on set went by in a haze of new faces and whispered directions. You and Victoria had only one brief exchange about your first scene together. She had approached you with a warm yet reserved smile.

“Hey, I thought maybe we could run through this scene together. Just to get a feel for each other’s rhythms,” she suggested, her tone calm and professional.

“Absolutely. I’d love that,” you replied, your heart racing. You kept your voice steady, but you couldn’t shake the nervous flutter you felt deep in your chest.

Victoria read the lines with such ease, her delivery flawless, yet subtly different each time as if experimenting with nuances. You watched her, trying to keep your focus, yet every word from her seemed to pull you in deeper.

As you wrapped up, she nodded approvingly. “You’re good. I can see why they’ve picked you.”

You flushed, stammering a quick thank-you, and then watched as she walked off, her steps graceful, her confidence effortless. Just keep it professional, You told yourself. But as the days passed, it became harder to ignore the warmth you felt whenever she looked at you, a lingering gaze that seemed to see more than just your role.

When the day came for your ever first scene, you arrived on set early, going through your lines one more time. The scene was intense—a reunion between Lauren and Helene, two people who had shared a complicated past and were bound by emotions neither of them could entirely let go. You had thought you were prepared, but now, with each beat of your heart, you felt a new nervousness you hadn’t anticipated.

As you walked on set, you saw Victoria standing at the other end of the room, speaking with the director, who animatedly explained his vision for the scene. She caught your gaze and gave you a nod, her usual professional demeanor in place, though something about her expression felt unreadable—guarded, maybe, as if she was bracing herself for what was to come.

He turned toward you, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Hey, come on over. Let’s get you in place. So, here’s the setup: Lauren is paying an unexpected visit to Helene at her office, and she’s there because… well, that’s up to you. She has her reasons, but the scene hinges on that ambiguity, the push-pull between them. Lauren is bold, maybe even a little reckless, but we need to feel that Helene is barely holding herself together.”

You took a steadying breath and nodded, your nerves slowly morphing into a focused determination. This was Lauren’s moment to push, to test the waters with Helene. And in a way, it felt a little like you yourself were testing something—feeling your way through the strange pull you’d somehow begun to feel around Victoria. You couldn’t explain it, but it was there, like an undercurrent humming just beneath the surface.

Your director called for quiet on set, and as the cameras rolled, you transformed. You were no longer you but Lauren, striding into Helene’s office with a calm confidence, a hint of mischief in your gaze as you found Helene at her desk, pouring over stacks of papers.

“Hello, old friend. Long time, no see,” you said, your voice low but carrying a hint of hesitation, as if unsure of the reunion.

Helene looked up, startled, and for a split second, the cool facade she wore slipped, allowing a flicker of surprise and maybe even a touch of longing. Then it was gone, replaced by her usual detached, slightly exasperated expression as she leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Lauren,” she said, her voice edged with a mix of wariness and familiarity. “Not that long. Maybe a year?”

You tensed, responding instinctively. “A year’s a long time when you’re left wondering.”

The words hung in the air, and the silence that followed was thick, charged. You could feel Victoria’s eyes on you, not just as Helene but as herself, watching you, assessing you.

You let a slow smile spread across your face, the kind that was both playful and just a bit dangerous. You crossed the room, closing the space between you until you were just close enough to lean down slightly, your gaze intent.

“What, I can’t just stop by for a friendly visit?” Lauren’s voice was light, teasing, but there was an unmistakable intensity in her eyes that made Helene shift, visibly uncomfortable yet rooted to the spot.

Helene rolled her eyes, but her hands, you noticed, clenched slightly on the arms of her chair. “Last I checked, we weren’t exactly on friendly terms.”

Your smile softened, and you tilted your head, a touch of vulnerability breaking through. “Maybe that’s something I wanted to change.”

For a long, charged moment, you held each other’s gaze, a silent conversation happening in the space between you. Helene’s jaw tightened as she looked away, a hint of pain flashing across her face.

But Lauren wasn’t one to let go that easily. She stepped closer, until she was close enough to reach out, to touch, though she didn’t. Her presence was all-consuming, and you could feel your own pulse quicken, blurring the line between yourself and Lauren.

“Come on, Helene,” Lauren murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know I hurt you. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about you… that I haven’t missed this.” She let the words hang, raw and intimate, before adding softly,

“Missed you.”

Helene’s cool facade cracked just slightly, a flash of pain and frustration in her eyes as she stood up staring back up at Lauren, her composure barely holding. “You don’t get to say that. Not after all this time.”

The line struck something deep within you as she spoke it, feeling Helene’s hurt and resentment like a living thing. But Lauren your character, ever defiant, only leaned in closer, her hand coming up to brace against the wall beside Helene, effectively trapping her.

“Tell me you don’t feel the same,” Lauren challenged, her voice a low, urgent whisper. The tension in the room thickened, and you felt the weight of Victoria’s gaze, a spark of something intense and undeniable in her eyes.

Helene hesitated, her resolve wavering, her breath catching as her gaze flickered from Lauren’s eyes to her lips, the charged air between them pulsing with all the words left unspoken. But just as the moment seemed poised to tip over into something more, the director called, “Cut!”

You snapped back to yourself, blinking as you released the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. Your heart raced, your skin tingling from the lingering tension of the scene. You let your arm drop from the wall, stepping back to give Victoria space.

Victoria straightened, her expression unreadable as she adjusted her jacket, her gaze sweeping the set before finally settling on you. There was a flicker of something in her eyes—something that looked almost like… admiration? Or was it something else?

“That was intense,” you said, trying to keep your tone light as you offered a small, slightly self-conscious smile.

Victoria nodded, a faint smile playing at the edges of her lips. “You have a way of bringing out the worst in Lauren,” she replied, her tone laced with irony but also something warmer, softer. “It’s… refreshing.”

You laughed, a little relieved but also thrown off by the words. “Well, she’s complicated. Keeps me on my toes.”

Victoria tilted her head, studying you for a moment. “Complicated is good. Makes it more interesting.”

The look you exchanged held a spark, something you couldn’t quite name but was beginning to recognize more and more each time your eyes met. It was as if you were both playing a game, one where the rules were unspoken, yet unmistakably understood.

Before you could say anything else, your director clapped his hands, calling everyone’s attention for a quick break before the next setup. You caught one last look from Victoria before she turned away, feeling the remnants of the scene still thrumming in your veins.

As you headed back to your trailer, your mind swirled with a mix of emotions—excitement, nerves, and the undeniable pull you felt whenever you and Victoria shared the screen. You’d always thought the hardest part of acting was embodying someone else’s feelings, but now, for the first time, you wondered if maybe the hardest part was keeping your own at bay.

You rubbed your temples, fatigue and excitement mingling as you gathered your things in your trailer. The day had been intense, the charged energy between you and Victoria in that last scene still humming under your skin. Just as you were about to head out, you swung the door open—and nearly collided with Victoria, who stood in front of the trailer with her hand mid-air, ready to knock.

“Oh!” you stammered, stepping back in surprise. “I didn’t expect—”

She chuckled, lowering her hand. “Neither did I, apparently.” There was a slight pause as you stood there, your heart beating just a bit faster, the exhaustion from the day melting away in her presence.

“I was actually going to suggest grabbing a drink. Somewhere quiet to unwind after…” She gestured vaguely, but you knew exactly what she meant.

You blinked, caught off guard but strangely thrilled. “A drink sounds… perfect,” you said, a smile slowly spreading across your face.

You ended up at a dimly lit, tucked-away bar, the kind of place you would never have noticed on your own. Victoria seemed to know it well, however, leading you inside with the ease of someone who valued privacy.

You settled into a booth near the back, ordering drinks and sinking into the quiet atmosphere. For the first time all day, you were free of the cameras, the lines, the lingering tension of your roles. Here, you were just you and Victoria, sharing a drink like two colleagues winding down after work.

“So,” she began, raising an eyebrow over her glass. “How was your first day of intense romantic drama?”

You laughed, taking a sip of your drink. “I have to say, it was… exhilarating. But definitely a bit intimidating.” you glanced at her, a little more openly than you might have dared earlier. “You make it seem so effortless. I keep wondering if I’m doing it right.”

“Trust me, you’re doing it right.” Victoria leaned forward, her expression earnest. “Acting isn’t about ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ anyway. It’s about trusting yourself. You get lost in the moment, and… well, you did that today.”

You felt your cheeks warm, feeling simultaneously grateful and a little self-conscious under her gaze. “Thanks. Coming from you, that actually means a lot.”

You fell into an easy rhythm, talking about the movie, then drifting into lighter topics—the absurdity of long filming days, the occasional mishaps on set. Victoria shared a story about an elaborate costume mishap during a period drama that left her frantically trying to fix her dress just seconds before a big shot. You laughed so hard you nearly spilled your drink.

“Is this your secret weapon?” you asked with a grin. “Getting everyone to laugh so they forget their lines?”

“Ah, you’ve caught me,” she replied, a playful glint in her eye. “It’s all part of my master plan. Throw them off just enough so I can look that much better.”

You chuckled, and then, in a moment of pure spontaneity, you blurted, “Well, I don’t have your number. So if you ever need a partner in crime… or just someone to grab a drink with…”

Victoria’s eyebrows rose, a hint of mischief in her smile. “Is that your idea of subtle? Or is that just how you are with women?”

You felt your cheeks go warm again, though you grinned, refusing to back down. “Maybe a bit of both.”

She held your gaze for a beat longer than necessary before reaching for her phone. She tapped a few times, and your phone buzzed in your bag. “There. Now you have my number,” she said, her tone playful, yet her eyes held a trace of something deeper. “Just… don’t go spreading it around. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Oh, wouldn’t dream of it,” you replied, matching her teasing tone.

You finished your drinks, lingering for a few more quiet moments before you finally decided to head home. Outside the bar, you shared a quick, almost shy goodbye, both of you staying just a bit longer than needed. You watched as she disappeared down the street, a strange blend of exhilaration and confusion swirling inside you.

When you finally returned to your small apartment, you lied awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling. The day’s events replayed in your mind, your thoughts wandering from your intense scene to the quiet, easy comfort of the bar. Every moment with her felt like an uncharted path you were just beginning to explore.

A smile crept onto your face as you thought of her teasing remarks, her gaze, the effortless way she seemed to fill every space she entered. You couldn’t quite pin down what was happening between you, only that something had started, and you were more than ready to see where it would lead.

[5sospenguinqueen]

Matchmaking Brothers - Arthur Leclerc x Gasly! Reader

Summary: Having known each other since they were kids, Yn and Arthur only spent time together when their families rallied together for the sake of their older brothers. Recently, fans have noticed that they’re spending more time together than ever before. 

Warnings: None? Maybe swearing

Requested: Yes by @1800-love-me . asked for gasly reader and brothers best friend arthur. sorry but this is only a short one

Faceclaim: Madison Beer

F1 Masterlist

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yn_gasly posted a new story 

arthur_leclerc replied don’t be like that  → you know you love having me → yn_gasly you ate all my crisps, begged me to order pizza and then cried because i “let you eat all that crap”  → arthur_leclerc but did you i make you laugh? → yn_gasly at your expense, yes → arthur_leclerc you’re meaner than when we were 12 → yn_gasly and you haven’t changed 

charles_leclerc replied don’t be like that, little gasly  → you know you miss us when we’re travelling  → yn_gasly what’s there to miss? → the bickering over racing? the sweaty socks left everywhere? competing over who can eat their pasta faster?  → charles_leclerc don’t deflect. i know you miss arthur → yn_gasly now i really don’t miss you 

francisca.cgomes replied send me that pic of pierre please

alexandrasaintmleux replied i’ll buy you a big glass of wine tomorrow 

pierregasley replied i hate you → i wish i’d smothered you with a pillow when we were kids → yn_gasly i wish you’d get out of my apartment

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yn_gasly just posted

liked by jackdoohan, estebanocon and others

yn_gasly come to alpine, he said. it’ll be fun, he said. now i’m alone whilst he gets ready for quali and kiks has abandoned me also 

1,980 comments

arthur_leclerc come to ferrari, it’s more fun

→ pierregasly don’t you dare

→ alexandrasaintmleux we have leo

→ yn_gasly on my way! 

→ user1 was it leo or arthur who convinced you?

francisca.cgomes i didn’t abandon you! i had to pee! 

→ yn_gasly i was left alone! 

user2 i don’t know how any one could leave her alone when she looks that good 

pierregasly i’m sorry that i have a job?

→ yn_gasly you should be. i have to suffer every race weekend because of you 

→ user3 we all saw how tense she was during q3

→ user4 but also the way you jumped when you realised he was into q3

jackdoohan i promise i won’t let you be alone next year 

→ yn_gasly and this is why you’re my favourite alpine driver 

→ estebanocon i haven’t left yet, you know :(

→ yn_gasly you’re my second favourite, estie 

→ pierregasly pierre erasure

→ user5 oo doohan’s got moves. arthur better look out 

user6 can the test/reserve drivers of f1 fight? ‘cause yn is so fine

arthur_leclerc just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, olliebearman and others

arthur_leclerc a stressful weekend that ended so well. what a special moment, couldn't be more proud 

1,699 comments

yn_gasly a huge congrats to charlie 🤍 so proud of you! i know you’ve dreamed of this day since we were kids. can’t wait to celebrate with you later 

→ charles_leclerc merci, little gasly ❤️

user7 can’t believe arthur managed to sneak in yn on a post dedicated to charles

→ user8 family friends my ass

→ user9 tbf she looked so good today 

→ user10 face card never declines liked by arthur_leclerc 

alexandrasaintmleux who’s that cutie in the last slide 

→ yn_gasly date me please

→ charles_leclerc whoa, when i said i wanted you to join the family, i didn’t mean by stealing my girlfriend 

user11 anyone else suspicious about his weekend "ending well" and then a pic of yn? 

→ yn_gasly his brother finally won monaco, babe. please go outside and touch grass. i just looked hot today 

→ user12 imagine getting called out by the queen herself

pierregasly why are you posting my sister’s cleavage, little leclerc?

→ yn_gasly why are you such an embarrassment 

→ arthur_leclerc i feel sorry for any man that dates you if he’s what they have to put up with 

→ jackdoohan i’d be happy to volunteer?

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pierregasly just posted

liked by francisca.cgomes, alpinef1team and others

pierregasly the gasly’s and the leclerc’s 

3,310 comments

charles_leclerc my favourite french family 

→ yn_gasly i thought you were your favourite french family 

→ charles_leclerc i know where you live 🔪

arthur_leclerc why does everyone else get a nice photo and i get the one where yn is trying to tackle me into the harbour?

→ pierregasly i thought it was cute! 

→ user1 and we agree. now tell us they’re dating

alexandrasaintmleux 💕

user2 you can tell yn and arthur are the little siblings ‘cause neither of them got a face shot 

→ yn_ln apparently we’re not as attractive as the others

→ arthur_leclerc i disagree 

francisca.cgomes okay but me and alex look hot

user3 love how kika and alex are counted as the gasly’s and the leclerc’s

→ yn_gasly of course they are. they’re family 

→ user4 and which one do you count as part of? 😏

user5 yn and arthur look a little closer than friends ngl 

→ user6 no because the way that they’ve been closer than the two confirmed couples 

→ user7 they’re literally clinging to each other 

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arthur_leclerc just posted

liked by scuderiaferrari, alpinef1team and others

arthur_leclerc grazie monza for some unforgettable memories 

2,009 comments

user8 if this isn’t confirmation that they’re together, i don’t know what is 

user9 she’s been converted? damn, he must be good in bed

user10 omg yn featuring in another grand prix post! 

user11 dick so good she forgot she was french

→ user12 ya’ll are unhinged but i can’t deny that this screams that they’re a couple

→ pierregasly i can’t believe i just had to read that 

charles_leclerc loving every outfit in this. nice to see all the family support 

→ pierregasly back off. she’s still my sister 

→ charles_leclerc for now 

→ user13 ???

yn_ln everyone calm down. we’re literally in the land of ferrari. it would be criminal not to support them

→ user14 but you’re french, not italian? 

→ scuderiaferrari you can’t fight the forza ferrari sempre 

pierregasly traîtresse! 

→ yn_ln well, i’m always abandoned in alpine. they treat me good in ferrari

→ alpinef1team we’re sorry. please come back to us. we’ll do better

→ francisca.cgomes please come back. i miss you yn

→ yn_ln oh yeah you all want me now

→ arthur_leclerc i’ve always wanted you

yn_gasly just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and others

yn_gasly okay, guys. i did wear red for him

2,910 comments

charles_leclerc and i thought it was for me :( 

user1 arthur kind of confirmed this already with his post and saying he always wanted you 

→ user2 shush, we’re getting a glimpse into their relationship. don’t ruin it

arthur_leclerc and you look amazing in it ❤️

→ yn_ln almost as good as you do 

→ charles_leclerc but no one looks as good as i do 

→ alexandrasaintmleux just let them flirt, mon amour  

user3 the height difference between them is killing me

pierregasly you better tell him to keep his hands where i can see them

→ yn_ln you were the biggest advocate for us getting together

→ charles_leclerc no, that was me

→ pierregasly yeah until i realised he would be putting his hands on my baby sister! 

jackdoohan i guess i lost 

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

requests are open!

i am currently away but coming soon; mark webber smau, lewis baby angst part 2 and a franco smau

tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25

[fanficsbysteve]

The Best for the Both of Them

This will be my first foray into writing fanfiction in a long long time so please be kind. Constructive Criticism is always welcome. Hate Mail is not. I also haven't used Tumblr in awhile so if anyone has any suggestions on how I can make my posts better or easier for you all to read, please let me know.

Rated: PG? WC: 4863

___________________________________________________________

 “I’ll see you around Buck”, Tommy stood for a second before he walked to the door and out of Evan’s loft. His mind was reeling from what he just did. Evan had been the best thing to ever happen to him, and he had just ended it. Did he do the right thing? He kept walking eventually coming to his truck. He got in and looked up at the windows to Evan’s loft. He saw his now ex-boyfriend standing there looking out at him.

                “This is the best thing for both of us,” he told himself as he started the truck up and drove off towards his house, “It was never meant to last anyways. I’m his first not his last” he just kept telling himself that as a means of justifying it to himself. He felt tears start to well up in his eyes as he drove towards his house. He didn’t want to do that. Evan was the sweetest and most caring person he had ever known. But he couldn’t handle the heartbreak if he decided that Tommy wasn’t enough for him. Yes that was an incredibly Biphobic mentality to have, and he knew it, but your brain is never logical when it comes to your emotions and your potential for heartbreak.

                He pulled into his driveway and turned off his truck. Sitting in his truck he let the tears start to roll down his cheeks. Sobs racked his body as he just let out all the sadness that he was feeling over what he had done. He desperately wanted to take out his phone and call Evan and say he was sorry. Say he didn’t mean it. Beg him for forgiveness. But he knew he couldn’t do that. No this was how it had to be.

                After about 10 minutes of the ugliest crying, he had ever done in his life, he composed himself, got out of his truck and head inside his house. It was going to be a long night, and he knew it. This was the best for the both of them.

***

                Tommy took a couple days off work so he could just get all his crying out. His work best friend, Jessica, had come by a couple times during that time to check in on him and see how he was doing. She reported to him that he always looked like shit and that he needed to pull himself together. She really didn’t get it though did she. She had been with her husband for as long as he knew her.

                After the third day, Tommy again pulled himself together and compartmentalize all his emotions like he had grown accustomed to all those many years ago. Looking around his house he found so many things that reminded him of Evan. Some of his clothes that he had left behind after a night over, a toothbrush, some different knickknacks that he bought for Tommy to keep in his apartment to remind him. Sighing, Tommy picked up a box and started to place all of Evan’s items into it. He kept the pictures. And a hoodie. He may have broken up with Evan, but he didn’t want to forget about him completely. He was a big part of his life for the past 6 months. Everything else went into this box.

                He spent the better part of a day trying to decide the best way to get these items back to Evan. He didn’t feel ready to see Evan again so going to the loft to drop them off was probably not in the cards. Maybe Eddie or Chim could get them to him. Though not sure if that was going to be easy either. They were both closer to Evan than they were to him. Wouldn’t hurt to try anyways.

                Tommy took out his phone and shot a quick text message off to Eddie. He didn’t expect anything back right away, but little did he know, “You fucked up bud” was all he got back at first.

“Don’t you think I thought this through,” he responded back.

“Doesn’t mean you didn’t fuck up” Eddie wrote back.

“I have a bunch of Evan’s stuff that he left at my place that needs to get back to him,” Tommy wrote quickly, “And I don’t think either of us wants to see each other right now.”

“I spent the past 3 days with a very drunk Evan pining over you hard,” Eddie replied, “You have no idea how badly this is affecting him.”

“He doesn’t know how this is affecting me either,” Tommy sent back, “Can I leave his stuff with you, and you give it to him?”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Eddie wrote back, “But I think the two of you need to talk this out. Sometime before my liver gives out.”

                Tommy sighed and took the box to his Truck, meaning to head towards Eddie’s house. At least Eddie was still talking to him, which was a good sign. He hadn’t fucked things up with the entire 118 at least. He drove about an hour to get to Eddie’s house. Seeing Evan’s Jeep parked out front, Tommy drove right past the front of Eddie’s house and parked a ways up the street so that he wouldn’t be noticed. God, he needed to mature up, but he really didn’t want to see Evan right now. He had just gotten himself to stop crying and he knew that if he saw him it would start the tears up again.

                Tommy slowly walked up towards Eddie’s house, navigating like some weird stalker up the sidewalk and deposited the box outside the door to Eddie’s house. He snapped a quick picture of the box and Eddie’s door and hurried down the walkway, sending a picture of the box to Eddie with a quick message of “I can’t see him yet. The box is outside your door.”

                Tommy drove back to his place, hyperventilating a little bit over what could have happened. He needed to stay strong. This was the best for the both of them.

***

                It had been a month since he ended things with Evan. Work kept him busy so that was beneficial for him. He could throw himself into work and forget everything. He did tend to avoid using the mouth static because it reminded him of Evan. His captain was probably very appreciative of that.

                Tommy had taken to using Tinder to see if he could get someone to date again. He did miss the companionship that Evan gave. Someone to hold at night. Problem was that he was trying to pick a fish from the sea that was Gay LA. The amount of people that just wanted to have sex with him far outweighed the people looking for a nice date.

                He did find the rare gentlemen not looking for a quick fuck which was nice. Tommy wasn’t ready to dip his toes back into THAT market just yet. Besides if he wanted that he would have been on Grindr, not Tinder. Men were just horndogs no matter where they were.

                Tommy swiped right on a handsome man that he saw and got the “Match” signal, so he started messaging this person. He was 5’6, fit, brown hair, blue eyes, worked as a nurse at one of the local hospitals. Tommy decided to go on a date with this guy. Have a nice dinner and a movie. That was his typical first date. Had it been that before Evan and will continue to be that after. He just needed to figure out a restaurant.

                The night of the date came, and Tommy met this new guy at the restaurant. His name was Bryant, and he was closer to Tommy’s age than Evan had been. He wouldn’t admit it in person, but he felt a little bad when he and Evan were together since there was such a large age gap.

                Bryant had chosen a nice Vietnamese restaurant to meet up at, and Tommy would be picking the movie. They ordered their dishes after sitting and waited. Tommy looked around the room a bit, taking in his surroundings. It was a nice place, he thought, and then a thought he didn’t want to have came up ‘Evan would really like this. He likes to try all kinds of new food.’

                He had to stop himself. He was drifting off into thinking of Evan and that wouldn’t have ended well. Bryant was talking and Tommy hadn’t heard a thing he said in his revelry. God he was the worst person to go on a date with right now. His thoughts constantly running back to Evan like some kind of sick masochist. No, he wouldn’t let that man keep such a vice grip on his heart. This was the best of the both of them.

***

                It had been 6 months since he had broken up with Evan. He had managed to match with about 10 very nice gentlemen in that time, and failed to go on a second date with about 6 of them. Why was he so bad at this? It was never this bad with Evan. Not even remotely. They always got along and always had things to talk about.

                Sitting down at the coffee shop, a handsome Latin man sitting across from him, Tommy sipped at his drink while half listening to the man talking about his life. He was interested, really he was. He just couldn’t make his mind focus. It kept going back to thoughts of Evan.

                The bell above the door rang as someone came in again. They were sitting near to the door, so Tommy had a bird’s eye view of the people walking in. And what he saw made his heart clench in his chest. Walking in through that doorway was Evan. He was there with a very beautiful blonde woman. God, he looked amazing still. Hopefully he didn’t see Tommy.

                Quickly looking away, Tommy hoped against all hope that Evan didn’t notice him. He didn’t want to create a scene or end things badly on this date. His date seemed to notice as he asked what was going on?

                “Ex-boyfriend just walked in,” Tommy replied. His breathing had slightly deepened after Evan walked into the shop, so he suggested that they take their drinks and go for a walk.

                He couldn’t be in the same room with Evan. It was too hard to see him. He did look happy though. Walking out of the coffee shop, his date heading out before him, he glanced back hoping, while also not hoping, to catch a glimpse of Evan again. Looking right at him, his blue eyes trying to hide a sadness that he could match was Evan. God how he missed that man. He turned back around and left the coffee shop, not wanting to feel the pain that his heart was currently feeling. This was the best for the both of them.

***

                It had been three days since Tommy saw Evan at the coffee shop. Things had fizzled out again with the latest in a long line of dates he had gone on. Honestly, it was getting a little depressing for him. But he kept on trying. Maybe one day someone will click with him.

                His phone buzzed and he absently picked it up without looking to see who the message was from and opened it. His heart skipped a beat when he looked at it. It was from Evan and just said one word “Hey”.

                Tommy was freaking out a bit. He hadn’t expected this to happen. He had taken a break and wanted Evan to experience his life now. He would have done the same had he been the first for a gay man. It wasn’t fair to tie someone down into a relationship if they hadn’t fully experienced life to its fullest.

                “Hey,” Tommy replied back, “Saw you at the coffee shop a few days ago. You look good”

                Tommy stared at the screen at the Typing bubble showed up on his phone. It was agonizing waiting to hear back. One minute. Two minutes. Was he writing the next great American novel over there?

                “It was nice to see you as well,” was the reply. Eight words? It took him that long to write eight words? The typing bubble showed up again, “Can we meet up? I have some things I need to talk to you about.”

                Tommy stared at his phone. Could he do this? It had been 6 months. Surely things had settled between them enough that they could have a cordial meet up right? “I could do that. Do you know a place?”

                “Let’s get pizza for old times sake,” Evan replied. Tommy felt his heart beat a little harder in his chest, “You know the place. Did you want me to pick you up or meet you there?”

                Tommy stared at the phone. While he would have loved to go there together, he knew that he couldn’t. Not easily anyways. 6 months they had been apart but every thought in his mind was about Evan. He had never had a relationship with anyone, quite like the one he had with Evan. There was something about it, “I can meet you there. 8 pm? Know a day?”

                “Can we meet tonight?” Tommy’s heart fluttered in his chest. Did he dare accept?

                While his brain was overthinking every situation that could come of this, his heart took control of his hands and he typed back, “That can work. I’ll see you there.”

                “See you there,” was the reply. Tommy put his phone down and let out a breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding. This could go so many ways. Picking up his phone again and looking at the time, Tommy had about 3 hours to get ready. The Pizza place that Buck wanted to go to wasn’t too far from where Tommy lived. Maybe a 30 minute drive. It gave him time to look his best. They may be broken up, but Tommy definitely didn’t want Evan to see him look a mess.

                He went about getting ready and he felt his heart fill with joy a little bit. He also started to have second thoughts on the breakup. Was this the best for the both of them?

***

                Tommy walked up to the entrance to the restaurant at just before 8 pm. He was trying not to hyperventilate about what was about to happen. He stopped at the door and stood for a second, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down before he walked in.

                He could see Evan sitting at a table off to the right of the entrance. Tommy had a little bit of a chuckle. His brain was not thinking in perfect thoughts right now, but he just loved the idea of him picking a table slightly to the right of centre when the last happy conversation they had was about the Kinsey Scale and how Tommy was a solid 6.

                He walked over and sat in the chair across from Evan, “Hey” he said. It was his general greeting for everyone.

                “Hey,” Evan looked up to him, a light of what looked like happiness hiding in his eyes, “Thank you for coming”

                “I didn’t have anything planned for tonight,” Tommy smiled but his eyes just kept taking in this man sitting in front of him. God he was beautiful, “Your text caught me by surprise though. Can’t say I was expecting it, but it was a nice surprise.”

                “Yeah, well when I saw you at the coffee shop, I knew I had to reach out,” Evan smiled and looked down at his hands, “It just took me 3 days to send that first message. I kept psyching myself out and telling myself not to and that you hated me and that you didn’t want to hear from me”

                “I could never hate you Ev…Buck,” Tommy quickly changed the name he called him. He had been thinking of his as Evan for so long that he had forgotten that friends call him Buck, “I was the one who broke it off with you. If anything, you should be hating me.”

                Tommy saw Evan deflate a bit when he changed the name he called him. But what was he supposed to do? They were broken up. And as much as Tommy wished it, they weren’t going to get back together. Tommy had messed that up already with what he said when they broke up. The best he could hope for is salvage and become friends and just watch from the outside and be supportive while Evan found someone new.

                “I could never hate you either Tommy,” He whispered. He was still looking down. Tommy reached across the table and gently put a couple fingers underneath Evans chin and lifted his head so they could look each other in the eye. Tommy was a little shocked to see the barest hint of what could only be tears in Evans eyes.

                Tommy coughed quickly, “Anyways should we order something? I want to hear all about your life since the last time we saw each other.”

                Tommy picked up his menu and used it to hide his face a bit. The tears and look of sadness on Evan’s face was going to get to him if he didn’t compose himself. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

                They eventually ordered a pizza to share and some drinks, “So the woman I saw you at the coffee shop was very pretty. Did things go well?”

                Evan was a little taken aback by that statement, “You think she’s pretty? I thought you were a 6 on the Kinsey Scale?”

                “Just because I can notice when someone is attractive doesn’t mean that I want to immediately have sex with them,” Tommy chuckled. That broke the downer mood that had been soaking the two of them since the moment he sat down. Evan chuckled as well, “Society has its standards of beauty in men, women, and anyone in between. These are drilled into us from an early age. You ask a straight man who the most attractive man to them is, and I can almost guarantee you that they will give you one of the Chrises or one of the Ryan’s”

                Evan smiled at that, “Chrises and Ryan’s?” This man was clueless sometimes. Tommy smiled at him. This man could find a substack about some 200 year old cowboy but he knew nothing about the Kinsey Scale or the Chrises and Ryans.

                “Well first you have the easy ones, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Pratt. They have all been in Marvel movies, so everyone knows about them. Then you toss in Chris Pine, and you have the Chrises. Chris Pine is the odd one out as he hasn’t been in Marvel, and he has what some people call an Odd Attractiveness. The other Chrises are conventionally attractive,” Tommy took a sip of his drink before he continued, “Then you have the Ryan’s. Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling. Both very attractive men in their own rights and both very famous for various different reasons.”

                “I never thought of it that way,” Evan replied, “I always thought that just because you were straight or gay you didn’t really notice the other gender.”

                “Well, you have much to learn my Baby Bi,” Tommy chuckled, “You didn’t answer my question though. How did things go with the blonde at the coffee shop? Don’t think you can change the subject by claiming your naivety in things around the LGBT+ world.”

                Evan smiled and it melted Tommy’s heart, it was good to see him like this, “It went OK. We aren’t planning anything else though. Seeing you at the shop put me in a bit of a mood.”

                “I’m sorry about that,” Tommy replied, “She looked like she was your type. Well, I think. I don’t really know your type when it comes to women.”

                “I don’t really have a type when it comes to anyone really,” Evan explained, “I just find certain people attractive and decide then and there if I want to date them. She was pretty but not what I was looking for I guess.”

                “Well, that sucks,” Tommy replied, “I haven’t had much luck either. Nothing clicks I guess.”

                “Its hard to find something like what we had,” Evan replied. He sounded sad again. Tommy didn’t know how to make him happy again right now, so he just took a bite of his pizza on his plate.

                They ate in silence, Tommy sneaking glances at Evan, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He thinks he got caught at least once and quickly started looking off into the restaurant, trying to hide what he was doing. This was truly one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen. He was a fool for letting this go.

                After they finished their pizza, it was time for dessert. Evan ordered a tiramisu, and Tommy ordered his usual Spumoni. What could he say, it was his favorite. And when you know you like something, you always go back to it.

                While Tommy was thinking to himself, he caught sight of a spoon reaching across the table and taking a piece out of his dessert, “Hey!”

                Evan smiled as he placed the frozen dessert into his mouth. Tommy smiled a little. Picking up his spoon, Tommy reached across and took a scoop of Evans dessert. He got an indignant little squeak from Evan over that as he raised it to his mouth, “All’s fair in love and war Evan.”

                Tommy watched as Evan’s smile grew wider as he heard his name spoken out loud. Tommy didn’t realize that it was going to happen. He smiled a bit before taking the bite of Buck’s dessert.

                They back and forth stole each other’s desserts until there was nothing left on the plate, and they were giggling like two school boys who had seen something naughty, “I miss this,” Evan said with a sigh, “I miss you.”

                Tommy stopped giggling and looked directly at Evan. Had he heard what he thought he heard?

                “I miss seeing you come home after work, covered in soot. I miss standing in the kitchen cooking us dinner, you coming up behind me just to hold me. I miss waking up in your arms,” Evan continued, “I miss us.”

                “Evan,” Tommy tried to get him to stop. This was hurting him too much, but Evan lifted up a hand.

                “Let me finish,” Evan continued to talk, “We came here to talk about life so let me finish and then you can have your say,” He put his hand down and took a breath, “Over the past 6 months I admit that I did try dating new people. Men, women, I think I went out with a non-binary person once as well. And each and every one of those ended the same. Me alone in my loft. They always ended up the same because of one thing. They weren’t you. None of them were you. It took me a while to fully understand what happened between us.

                Tommy stared at Evan as he spoke. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes and he tried to stop them, but they just started to fall down his cheeks. He hadn’t wanted this. He just wanted to talk to Evan again. To be a part of his life again.

                “I realize now that I wanted the future with the idea I had of you. I wanted the idea I had of you move in with me in my Loft, which lets face it, was a ridiculous thing to say at the time,” Tommy noticed that Evan was essentially talking to his hands as they wrung a napkin in his hands, “And it took me talking to Maddie, Eddie, Josh, and basically everyone in the 118 to realize what I did to you. And to understand why you did what you did. You were scared. You were scared of being hurt and I understand that now. You didn’t want to be hurt so you hurt yourself and me in the process.”

                The tears were steadily going down Tommy’s cheeks at this point. He wasn’t a super emotional person. He worked in a life or death job. He saw people die all the time. He could compartmentalize everything. But right now, he was failing at that.

                “I tried to hate you at the start of it,” Evan still hadn’t looked up. Why wouldn’t he look at Tommy, “I tried really hard. But I couldn’t. You had just broken my heart, and I couldn’t hate you. It wasn’t until a month in when I was visiting Maddie at work, and the wise gay sage that is Josh was there and he gave me some words of wisdom, ‘You jumped ahead too far. You are currently seeing a future with who you think Tommy is. Not who Tommy actually is. And until you figure out which one you want to have a future with, you need to sit back and think about what it is you truly want. Do you want the idea of Tommy that you have? This unattainable statuesque Greek God of a man. Or do you want Tommy, the man who was engaged to a woman for 2 years, who had to survive the military at the height of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Tommy who is scarred beyond what you can see. And when you decide which, it is that you want, well the universe will bring you what you need.’ And then he just made a dramatic exit from the room.”

                Tommy chuckled a little while the tears kept flowing. He kept looking towards Evan, “Now I know that it was you who broke things off with me, in a not very classy fashion by the way,” Evan finally looked up from the napkin he had basically shredded into tiny pieces during his speech, “But I wanted to see if maybe, you wanted to try again? Try being together? It took me awhile to realize that I wanted the Tommy with all the scars that I never got a chance to learn about. The visible and invisible ones. You don’t need to answer right away. I can give you time to think about it. But I know that it is you that I want. You that I need in my life. You that I see a future with.”

                Tommy stood up, his eyes blurry at this point, walked around the table towards Evan, leaned down, placed his hand gently on Evan’s chin, and kissed him with as much love and passion as he could muster. He didn’t want this to stop. He couldn’t let this stop. Of course he wanted Evan back.

                The kiss ended and they were both breathless. The noise of the restaurant hadn’t died down so hopefully nobody was staring at their very obvious display, “Should I take that as a yes?” Evan was breathless and Tommy was as well. He nodded his head vigorously.

                Evan’s smile became the widest that Tommy had ever seen. He didn’t know how to take that. Evan grabbed him and pulled him in close, nuzzling his head into the crook of Tommy’s neck, “We should probably pay the bill and go I guess,” Tommy said eventually, enjoying holding Evan again. It had been too long, and he missed the gentle breathing.

                Tommy reluctantly let Evan go so they could pay their bill and head out, “House or Loft?” Evan asked as they walked out the door.

                “Huh?” Tommy was confused.

                “House or loft? If you think I’m going to spend tonight alone, you have another thing coming. So will we spend the night at the house or loft?” Evan explained.

                Tommy smiled, realizing that this was all his again. This perfect man, with his substacks, his belief in curses and his random spirals into insanity. This was all his again. Walking towards his truck, Tommy smiled and said, “House,” before getting in, “Though we’ll need to stop by your loft to grab some items for you for the morning after.”

                Tommy watched as Evan smiled. That smile always made him melt. Before he had met Evan, he was reserved. He had slowly started to come out of his shell a bit. To be more of the man that Evan had seen he could be. He still had worked to do before he was that person. But with Evan by his side, maybe he could be that person. Maybe the idea of Tommy that Evan had in the past could be the Tommy he gets in the future. Only time would tell at least.

Sitting on the drivers side of his truck, Evan on the passengers side, Tommy shifted his truck into gear and backed out of his parking stall. He felt a hand over top of his on the gear shift and smiled. This. This was what was best for the both of them.

***

And that's the end of that. Thank you all for reading. I wrote this because S8xE06 really irked me so I wanted to fix it somehow. Let me know what you think.

[legionofshaza]

In the shadows of home

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☆A Gwynriel fanfic for Azriel week Day 3☆

@azrielappreciationweek

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Azriel stood at the edge of the House of Wind, the night breeze threading through his dark hair. His wings, usually tucked in tight to his body, hung loosely behind him. The stars above Velaris were bright tonight, a canopy of light that made the city beneath them glow like a well-kept secret. It should have been peaceful, but inside, a storm raged.

Belonging. He had never truly known what it felt like. He’d been brought into the Night Court as a broken child, barely more than a weapon-in-the-making. His hands, scarred from years of torture in the Hewn City, still ached sometimes as if the shadows he commanded whispered memories of his past.

To the outside world, Azriel was a Spymaster, a shadow-cloaked figure of fear and control. But beneath that title was something far more fragile: a man who had never felt at home in his own skin.

The shadows that swirled around him now were a comfort, his ever-present companions. They murmured of secrets, of dangers lurking beyond the city, but they also offered something else. Solace. The knowledge that he wasn’t truly alone, even if it felt that way sometimes.

“Azriel.”

He didn’t need to turn to know it was Gwyn. Her presence was like a breath of fresh air, quiet yet unwavering. She had a knack for sneaking up on him, something that might have irritated anyone else. But for Azriel, it was a welcome distraction.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, coming to stand beside him, her gaze fixed on the city below.

He shook his head. “I don’t sleep much.”

Gwyn chuckled softly, a sound that made his chest tighten. “I’ve noticed.”

There was a long silence between them, the kind Azriel found strangely comfortable. Gwyn didn’t force conversation, didn’t pry into the depths of his thoughts unless he wanted to share. It was one of the many reasons he found himself drawn to her.

“I can feel it,” she said, her voice soft, as if she were afraid to shatter the stillness. “That restlessness inside you.”

Azriel didn’t respond immediately. He wasn’t sure how to. How could he explain a lifetime of feeling like he didn’t fit anywhere? That even with his brothers—Cassian and Rhys, the only family he’d ever known—there was a part of him that was always separate, always watching from the outside.

“I don’t… belong,” he admitted quietly, the words barely a whisper. It wasn’t something he’d ever said aloud before, not even to himself.

Gwyn’s brow furrowed as she turned to face him. “What makes you say that?”

Azriel’s shadows stirred, wrapping tighter around him as if to shield him from the vulnerability he’d just exposed. “I’m not like them. Cassian, Rhys—they were always meant to be part of something bigger. I was just a tool, something to be used and discarded.”

“Azriel,” Gwyn said, her voice firm now, but not unkind. “You’re not just a weapon. You’re more than that.”

He looked at her then, his hazel eyes meeting her steady gaze. She didn’t flinch, didn’t look away like so many others did. She held his gaze, her expression unwavering.

“You think you don’t belong because of what you’ve done, because of what you are,” she continued. “But none of that changes the fact that you do belong. Maybe not in the way you think, but you’re part of this court. You’re part of Rhys and Cassian’s family. And… you’re part of mine, too.”

Azriel’s heart gave a strange lurch at her words. Family. It was a concept he’d always struggled with, even though Rhys and Cassian had never treated him as anything less than a brother. And yet, hearing Gwyn say it, hearing the quiet certainty in her voice—it struck something deep inside him.

“How do you know?” he asked, his voice rougher than he intended. “How can you be sure?”

Gwyn smiled, and it was like a sunrise breaking through the clouds. “Because I know what it’s like to feel lost. To feel like you don’t have a place in the world. But I also know that you don’t have to belong to some grand destiny to matter. Sometimes, belonging is just… being with the people who make you feel like you’re enough.”

Azriel looked away, his jaw clenched as he struggled to swallow the knot of emotion in his throat. The words she spoke were so simple, yet they cut through him with the force of truth.

He had always been searching for a place to belong, a purpose that went beyond being a weapon in someone else’s war. But maybe Gwyn was right. Maybe belonging wasn’t about destiny or titles or being something more. Maybe it was about the quiet moments like this, standing on the edge of the world with someone who saw him for who he truly was—and didn’t turn away.

The shadows around him calmed, as if they too had found a measure of peace in her words. And for the first time in a long while, Azriel felt a flicker of something that had always been elusive to him.

Home.

He glanced at Gwyn, who was still gazing at the stars, her face lit by their soft glow. Without thinking, he reached out, his scarred hand brushing hers. She looked at him, surprised, but then her expression softened, and she laced her fingers with his.

“You belong here, Azriel,” she whispered. “With me.”

Azriel tightened his grip, grounding himself in the warmth of her touch. For the first time, he allowed himself to believe it.

In the shadows, he had found his place. But with Gwyn, he had found where he truly belonged.

⋇⋆✦ End✦⋆⋇　

[glader13]

Chasing Memories of You pt. 3

Miguel x Reader

Part 1

Part 2

“Lyla,” his voice slurred, “Play file zero.”

Lyla came to life, her frown deep as she saw Miguel surrounded by bottles. His eyes were hazy and drunken as he held a picture frame of you. Lyla wanted to say something but she knew that any word would spark an argument, with Miguel thinking that Lyla is trying to make him forget you. She pulled up file zero, which is multiple files of you and Miguel getting to know each other. They’re scattered, but each file shows a deeper connection between you two.

The first file begins to play and Miguel instantly recognizes your New York, seeing you fly in your black suit, the spider symbol in gold flashing in the sun. Your mentee, Gwen, was flying next to you in a red and black suit. It was here when he met you, answering the call of an anomaly in your universe. He viewed another one, instantly knowing which memory this was. You stormed into the medical area, to where Miguel was resting, insisting that he was acting reckless trying to save you, that he wasn’t thinking about his daughter, who needed him to be around. The argument was cut short when he pulled you into him, kissing you for the first time, breathing that he also needed you around.

Goosebumps then, but nothing now. He watched these files so many times, that all that they had created was a hole, numbing him. Taunting him of a reality that he’ll never have. As he drunkenly scrolled through the files, he came across one labeled as surprise. Even in his hazy mindset, he knew that he had never seen this before. He opened the file seeing more videos of you. He clicked on the first one, holding his breath as he saw you appear in front of him. He sat up, his mind gaining the clarity that it desperately searched for.

“Miggy, wait,” you mumble, pushing his mouth away, “I think I’m going to puke.”

He instantly got up, before walking you to the bathroom, asking you what you ate earlier. You told him the same as usual, but for the past few weeks, you’ve been avoiding greasy food, and eating more salads and bowl-type foods. Anything that you ate could set off your nausea, but at the same time, you wanted to eat everything.

“This has been happening a lot back to back recently,” Miguel said from the other side of the door, “It’s probably something that you’re eating.”

“Maybe the food in 2099 is made so poorly that if you aren’t used to it, it makes you sick,” you joked.

“Like your poisoned food is any better,” he said which caused you both to snicker.

You finally came out of the bathroom, telling him that you still felt the same. He kissed your forehead, asking if you wanted to sit on his balcony. You snuggled further into his hoodie as the two of you looked over Nueva York, the sounds of the city were peacefully quiet, as if a hush went through, and the neon hues washed you in warmth. You snuggled closer to Miguel, and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you further into his side. He softly kissed the side of your face, before trailing down to your neck. You could feel the worry fall off him and onto you. In between the kisses, you felt him stare as if he could see what was ailing you. He’s on eggshells, the funeral was just only months ago, and he hasn’t let you out of his sight. He frets over you about anything, trying to control every aspect to mitigate any possible consequences.

“I think you should see a doctor,” he says softly, “I want you to be healthy.”

“I am,” you kissed him, “But what if it’s not anything serious?”

“Then what would it be?” His question was fragile, threatening to break under a possible reality. You stayed quiet, not wanting to voice that possibility, especially when he was still trying to heal.

“Nothing, I’m fine Miggy,” you smiled, “Come on, let’s go back to bed.”

He should’ve known then, he should have picked up on the signs: the nausea, the pickiness of your appetite, the slight plumpness of your body. If he had known, if he wasn’t blinded by grief, he could have protected you, the both of you. He would have put you on fewer missions, and made you do more lab work, hell he would have taken your watch away so you wouldn’t be hurt by an anomaly. He saw another file, his hand moving faster than his mind, as he clicked the file. Watching memories of you compares to a dark paradise, filling him with poison that he knows stops him from healing.

“Lyla,” she appeared next to you in Miguel’s bathroom, “where’s Miguel?”

“At HQ,” she said, “Want me to get him?”

Your eyes widened as you quickly said no, your hand clutching around something that Lyla couldn’t make out. She appeared closer to your hand to see, but you moved whatever it was to your chest. You let the toilet cover down, sitting on it, hunched over, quiet. You tapped your foot on the ground, your mind a mess while your mouth was unemployed. You wanted to throw the damn thing away, the reality threatening to make your lunch come up. Two months, the funeral was two months ago and you’re … You shook your head, ignoring Lyla’s words about your heart rate. You softly rocked back and forth, before getting up and pacing around his bathroom. One hand still clutching the small, but very significant change of your life, as you bit the inside of your cheek. You didn’t catch your reflection in the mirror, not feeling brave enough to do so. You tasted the salt from your tears, as you slid to the floor, what if he hates you, resents you for a mutual, intimate action? What if he makes you get rid of it, makes you choose? What will happen then?

“How accurate are your tests?” You shakily breathed.

“What tests?” And with her question, you reveal the pregnancy test. Her quiet was deafening, sinking you further before she answered that it was accurate, the most it’s ever been. But to ease your worry, she did a bioscan of you, confirming that you are pregnant.

“Well,” she began slowly, “Congratulations, but how did this happen?” You shot her a look, which caused her to sigh, “I know how, but when?”

“It was when,” you began to search through your memories, peeling back the layers of your brain, to the moment when the two of you were alone, “I don’t know Lyla, I don’t know what to do, the one person that I need, I can’t tell.”

You cleaned your eyes, thinking of what to say to Miguel, imagining how he would react. Would you have to leave him, be alone with your child? Your mind could only imagine Miguel’s face twisted in disappointment, or even anger. He’s going to hate me, was the only thing that you could think despite your heart trying to tell you otherwise. You felt as if you were in a headlock, not knowing if you should go or trust Miguel.

“You are going to have to,” Lyla said, “You’re going to start showing.”

“I… I know, but Lyla, you can't tell him,” you cleaned your eyes, “Please.”

“Of course,” she smiled.

You finally felt some comfort in the silence before you spoke again, “Do you think I should surprise him, with dinner, or a party?”

“Party,” Lyla smiled, “And we can get a confetti gun filled with pink or blue confetti.”

You nodded, cautiously smiling, your mind filling with the possibilities of a new future. Finally, everything felt like it’ll be okay. A new beginning for you both.

Miguel turned it off, unable to look at your face, unable to bear looking at the hesitation on your face about telling him about your pregnancy. It’s unbearable with you being gone. He took another swig of his bottle, feeling another memory from his mind appear, rolling slowly like thunder approaching a city. He was able to figure the rest out, how you were going to break the news of your pregnancy, a surprise party. But that day will be forever stained with your blood, the loss of his second family. That day, that memory, always bubbles up, it can never be defeated by the alcohol, by how many villains he beats into a pulp, by each thought of seeking another just so his bed won’t be empty. It’s always there, chained to him. He can never seem to forget.

He stood at the door to your apartment, taking a shaky breath. He’s going here to think. To think of how to tell your family that you’re dead, that he failed to protect you. He leans his head against the door, trying to collect his breathing as more tears fall from broken eyes. He didn’t bother to clean his eyes or nose, which made everything hurt all the more. He was startled by pink and blue confetti, and voices yelling “congratulations”! Miguel took a step, looking around as he felt the urge to vomit. In silence, he took note of the various baby decorations, pink and blue streamers hanging from the ceiling and on the wall. The table had small sandwiches and chips with the dessert being small pink and blue cupcakes. He saw lettering decorating the wall, condadulations, Miggy!

The smiling faces were choking him, closing in on him. He felt his breathing become shallow and shorter as if he was exhaling every time he inhaled. He leaned against the door, struggling to look at faces, especially your parents, he couldn’t tell them that he failed his promise.

“Where’s my daughter?” your mother laughed, she was holding a cake, “She was supposed to come with you.”

Miguel began to take large breaths, as he couldn’t stop his tears, the inky hands of grief pulling him down. He sunk to the floor, holding himself feeling a sick realization that this was how you were going to break the news of your pregnancy. At a party, not in his arms, dying. He painfully tore his eyes away from the ground looking at your mother, and he was drowning again, this is how you would’ve looked, aging with beautiful and graceful features. She knelt in front of him, telling him to breathe, as he was barely aware of her cleaning his eyes with a napkin. He pushes her hand away, he doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment, not after ruining her life forever, “I’m sorry,” he choked, “I … I failed her. I’m sorry,” he repeats, holding your mother.

“Miguel,” your mother’s voice is still kind, though there was a worried edge in it, “Miguel, breathe okay. Whatever argument you two got in will work itself out, it’s just her pregnancy.”

Oh, he wishes it was an argument. That means that he’ll be able to have you back in a matter of moments, he’ll argue with you about anything if that means he’ll be able to hold you again. She said to relax again, telling him to breathe, and he finally gave in to the despair, “She’s dead. She … died in my arms. There was an attack … I couldn’t save her in time.”

Your mother’s face paled, all the light, all the life, drained from her face. Her body slouched, the only sound was the plastic plate hitting the floor. Miguel couldn’t say anything, but how could he? Who would want to be comforted by their child’s murderer? Your father filled the silence, stepping past his wife and pulling Miguel up by his shoulder. Your father’s face was the opposite, lit with a fury that can only be caused by grief. Miguel forced his eyes to stay on his face, as your father demanded what happened. As he demanded to know why he let you die. Your father repeated the same questions, each time getting closer and closer to Miguel. Miguel felt as if he was set on fire, feeling nothing but hopelessness. Nothing else mattered, all was obsolete. Your father repeated the same question, but to Miguel, it sounded distant, as if someone was yelling at him behind thick walls. Even if he heard the question, he couldn't care less, your father isn’t the only one who’s grieving. The world was spinning, yet shattering around Miguel, he was lost in a haze. The last kiss that you gave him, your lifeless body, crushed him. Two people died when you permanently closed your eyes, you and the man who he thought he could be. He was right there, on the edges of his fingertips. Ready to be everything that you wanted, that you needed. But your death makes being dead alluring. You made death look like mercy, a dark paradise.

Miguel’s focus on you was shattered when your father’s fist connected with his face. The shock caused him to fall over, his hand covered in red from his nose. Your father shook off your mother as he stepped over Miguel. “You should have stayed away from her,” your father sneered, “Then she would still be here. You should have taken her place. She should be here in front of us, not you.”

“You don’t think that I agree with you,” was all Miguel said.

Miguel and Gwen stayed outside the medical room as your parents grieved over you privately. He couldn’t do anything, he wanted this day to be over, he wanted to go back in time and correct this mistake. He wanted to be the hero that you always thought he was. But you were the hero, always saving him, and he hates you for it. If you didn’t save him, then you would be here, and that’s all that would matter to Miguel. When his memory fails him, will your love abide? Looking at you, he knows that he’ll love you for a long time. If his mind fails to remember, his body and his heart will remember.

“Is everything going to be okay?” Gwen asks him, her eyes begging for a sliver of hope, “Are we going to be okay?”

Miguel blinks away some more tears before he looks at her, and he breaks. She seems so small, holding herself against the wall. Her small, huddled frame reminded him of Gabi when she was upset. He would kneel in front of her, clean her eyes, and tell her that everything was okay. He found himself doing the same thing, slipping so easily into father mode. It wasn’t hard for him, as your mentee, Miguel and you were her second set of parents. Going to school events and even covering as her guardians so her parents won’t know about her slipping grades or missed classes.

“Hey,” he said, cleaning her eyes, “We’re going to be fine. We’re going to get through this together,” he hugged her, “I promise.”

Just as he did with Gabi, to make her less upset, he would lie. He kissed the top of her head, repeating another lie of comfort as he focused on your dead body. He wanted to say I don’t know if we’ll be okay, at least he knows that he’ll never be. Without you, the darkness eats him, he’s not himself, and he won’t be ever again. He’ll love you for a long time, he’ll miss you for a long time. A wound that he’ll never heal from.

And now, he’s forced to watch videos, these memories of you that he’s slowly tainting with the desperation of guilt. He can’t let go, and he won’t let go. He knows that you would want him to, but he won’t. He’s in a daze, and he needs you, but you’re so far away. Across a sea that he can’t cross … unless. In his room, the soft beeping of his watch caught his attention, he stared at it feeling something be planted. Thinking of all that it could do, thinking that it was how he met you. He thought of HQ, of all the Spiders there, how they all traveled by that watch. Would it be possible … if there are Spiders from different Earths, then … He got up, opening a portal to HQ. He can end this, end this feeling of being alone. He’ll have a chance to go home. To be closer to love.

He realized that he was only someone with you. That only you loved him naturally, and he needs you, he has always needed you. This time, he won’t leave you alone, you’re his sun and stars, the air that he breathes. He’ll never leave you alone again. On his screen, he ran multiple tests, screening each Earth for your DNA, and bio-scans, essentially screening for you. He was in a headlock, trapped by you. He thought that he was better than this, but grief, no desperation was stronger. Desperation to protect, to bring back something that has been lost. Miguel finally felt something break, no, not break, he felt something resolve, grow stronger.

He will have you in his arms again, he can start again. He will start again.

The screen started beeping, indicating a match. He zoomed in on that Earth, moving past the people, his eyes quickly moving over the faces of strangers. He did another scan, this time to pinpoint where you were, which was a TV studio. Miguel felt his heart in his lungs, he wasn’t even sure if he was breathing, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to see you in real time. He opened your location, and his breath was gone. He was gone, he fell to his knees, silent tears on his face, it felt like ages since he last looked upon your face. You were beauty beyond words, a force in the room. You were a goddess, dressed fittingly in white. He closed his eyes as he listened to you talk during your interview. He felt it all ending, his senseless grief, the hole in his heart was closing the more that he listened, swaying to your words as he was drunk.

He felt as if he was in church, on his knees in reverence and you were who he was praying to. When you would look into the camera, he felt your eyes, he felt your soul, and it was warm, feeling like home. He reached out, aiming to touch your face, only for his hand to go through the projection, your image briefly flickering. A bitter reminder of reality. At least he won’t be chasing memories of you anymore, closer to love, he found you again. And, in time, he’ll do more than monitor you as if you were a machine. He’ll join you, he won’t leave you alone anymore. That sea that separated the two of you disappeared.

“I’m coming home, my love,” he whispered to the projection, he whispered to you.

A/N: Writer’s block has me in a mf chokehold, I fear. Also, do people still read Miguel O’Hara fics???

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 2 – The One About the Likes

As you will soon figure out, I will be bouncing around from topic to topic. It will all be Lukola-related, of course, but the information and speculation I discuss may not be in any particular order. However, I will add in dates of reference to help organize your thoughts.

In my first post, I mentioned our three fan-types. Because this is only my second entry, I will touch on them again.

The Sincerely Ignorant are those that follow blindly. We all know a Sincerely Ignorant. If you’re the type of person who spirals uncontrollably at the hint of bad news, I’m sorry to tell you this, you’re likely a Sincerely Ignorant. But, don’t run! I want to help calm you the fuck down.

The Conscientiously Stupid are the people who push a narrative without considering other evidence being provided to them. We’re all Conscientiously Stupid from time to time, but this category – at least in my blog – is typically reserved for the Jakholes, the A-Holes, the Anti-Lukes, and now apparently the Anti-Nics. That’s not to say Lukolas are not also Conscientiously Stupid. We are human after all.

The Fact Finders are those that collect information and share it. They may speculate on it, but they do not manipulate it. We simply argue our case and provide the evidence in support of our arguments.

Now jumping into what I wanted to discuss today –

The likes.

The motherfucking likes on Instagram.

My disclaimer today: I am only discussing the likes between Nicola and Luke in this post; however, I will use a third party to put things into perspective. This is intentional. The “adjacent” (I hate that word, by the way) likes are a separate post all on their own – but I’ll summarize it for you because, on the surface (speculation aside), it’s quite black and white. Jake likes Nicola’s posts; Nicola likes Jake’s posts; Antonia likes Luke’s posts; Luke likes Antonia’s posts. Let the meltdowns begin.

Done?

Okay. Back to the likes between Nicola and Luke…

It’s the same old song and dance.

Every.

Single.

Time.

Nicola post to her grid.

Jake likes it within a small timeframe.

Luke – maybe he likes it, maybe he doesn’t.

The Conscientiously Stupid attack and the Sincerely Ignorant spiral. And the Fact Finders take a deep breath and prepare themselves to walk the Sincerely Ignorant back on board the USS Lukola. I’m mean, it’s exhausting for everyone.

Do Luke’s likes really matter? No, in most instances, they don’t.

Do Jake’s likes really matter? Same as above! No, in most instances, they don’t.

Let’s take Nicola’s BFF JVN for example. He usually likes Nicola’s posts, right? In fact, some days, he’s just as fast as Jake. And, what about Dylan Brady? Talk about a friend who puts an instant-like on Nicola’s posts! And, another thing – both JVN and Dylan have been known to repost Nicola’s stuff to their own stories. However, no one cares about that or considers any of these “side characters” because they’re not Luke or Jake. I get it. But, let’s consider a few things.

First, JVN has liked most of Nicola’s posts except for the “NY Rats” one [which I will not speculate about right now]. But, let’s use the “NY Rats” post as a reference point. Nicola posted that October 17. Did you know that JVN has posted 14 times on his own grid since then? And, did you know that Nicola has only liked two of those 14? Holy shit, they must despise each other, right? Or, is it more likely that (a) Nicola is busy or (b) so close to JVN she doesn’t feel the need to like every single one of his posts? Now, I want you to answer this question with all honesty: Based on this information, do you have any concerns about Nicola’s relationship with JVN? If you answered yes, why?

Now let’s consider this next part, which is in the same vein as the above. Did you know that Nicola has liked most of Luke’s grid posts? Did you know that out of the last 14 posts made by Nicola to her grid, Luke has only liked eight? That’s barely over half (but, hey, better than Nicola’s average with JVN!). If you go back even further, you’ll find this is Luke’s modus operandi. He doesn’t like every goddamn post Nicola throws up.  Even throughout the World Tour, he wasn’t liking all of Nicola’s posts. Did this bother you then? Is it possible Luke is (a) not that into social media, (b) busy, or (c) so close to Nicola he doesn’t feel the need to like every single one of her posts? Let me ask you the same question I asked above: Based on this information, do you have any concerns about Luke’s relationship with Nicola? If you answered yes, why?

Okay, I’m going to assume some people are bothered by this Luke-Like bit so let’s keep discussing it for a moment.

Did you know that since January 1, 2024, Nicola has made nine IG grid posts that relate to a political viewpoint? Did you know that Luke has only liked one of those nine posts? In fact, I was quite shocked that Luke liked Nicola’s October 15 post of her Time100 speech (if you haven’t watched her speech, it’s on her IG grid). In my opinion, Luke liking this post is far more significant than Luke liking, say, her third grid post about her Time cover. He’s seemingly agreeing with her political stance.

This was a change in modus operandi. A small change, indeed, but interesting.

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[finniestoncrane]

said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went “ok why do you think that is?” and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went “ok so maybe you aren’t good at friendship” and i. have never regretted spending £50 more in my life lol

[malachitezmeyka]

Ah yes, Magnificent Century, or as I like to call it – “Why the fuck are the most likely Ukrainian girl and the Crimean Tatar woman speaking Russian to each other, what were the writers smoking???”

[clown-eating-pig]

I love the idea that avatars of the spider are super unassuming and innocent in the way that they’re perceived. Like….something about the juxtaposition of spiders creating an immediate feeling of danger in most people compared to the people that represent them being perfectly adept at hiding that aspect of themselves.

[kavehater]

I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness

[yuribalisms]

Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I don’t know how to handle that

[story-book-sillies]

I’m really struggling right now (still crying a lot and just feeling sad in general) but I’m going to try to get to my inbox tomorrow. I’m hoping if I make this post, I’ll actually do it. I want to answer questions from the Halloween ask game I reblogged and stuff but we will see. I think it would make me feel better. Help me take my mind off of things for a while. There’s too much change right now… Need something fun to do.