#(THERE'S MORE I WANTED TO ADD BUT THEN WE'RE GETTING INTO)

[toothfa-1-ry]

WON'T YOU HOLD ME, CONSOLE ME ?

You don't expect your boyfriend to hold you or console you when you find out your pregnant, but you also didnt expect him to leave you without a trace either

Has no correlation to the other preg!reader fic i posted !!

GENRE: angst

PAIRING: Choi su-bong x preg!reader

"Fuck" thanos groans with his head thrown back, his hands covering his face while he steps away from you

Your hold around your stomach tightens as you don't look up, keeping your gaze at the ground

"I thought you were on that shitty pill?" Thanos glanced at you before letting out a prolonged sigh

"You know that it doesn't mean a hundred percent protection" you argue, eyebrows furrowing slightly "it's not my fault! You were the one who-"

"I know geez!"

"Then why are you getting so agitated!"

"Because" thanos spluttered "because this is a kid we're talking about"

You pause, not being able to think of anything to say back, instead retreating your eyes back at your stomach

"And it's my fucking kid. Mine" thanos points at himself in the chest

"Is that why your mad?" You hate the way your voice trembles "because it's your kid and not some random bastards on the street?"

"Watch your mouth" thanos snarls "you know it's not like that, do you want me to say that it is?"

"Ah fuck" your voice a few ratios higher than it usually was, you could feel the lump in your throat forming

Thanos sighs again, his eyes softening as he glances your face and your stomach

"Aish your fucking kidding me man, your the one who started arguing first" he grumbles annoyed, but approaches you with his arms open anyways

You push against his hold at first, anger still flaring inside of you but you end up giving in pretty fast, so desperately wanting to be held

"Are the pregnancy symptoms already kicking in?" Thanos asked while pulling your head to rest in his shoulders "what a pain" muttering under his breath

"You asshole" you sob while your hands ball into a fist

"Hey your carrying the asshole's kid, i don't think your one to speak" thanos adds in quickly, frowning "Don't make this harder than it already is"

Despite Thanos holding you in his arms, you hit him with your balled fist, your face streaming with tears

"Hey stop" thanos frowns "stop before I seriously get mad" he grips your hand "im not mad right now, but if you don't stop i will"

You sniffle softly, your head laying on his chest as his eyebrows are still furrowed with concern over the recent news of your pregnancy

"What are we gonna do?" You ask amidst sniffles

Thanos allows you to lean against him, staring at the wall of the cramped room the both of you lived in

"I dont know" he mutters "we could go to the hospital? Try for a..." his voice trails off. You knew what he was referring to

This just makes your sniffles louden even more causing him to inwardly groan, he never knew how to handle emotions as such, most of the time just shutting up and holding you or something along that line but that didn't seem to be the brightest thing to do and even Thanos knew that

"Su-bong" you whisper, your hands snaking around his waist, pressing yourself closer towards him as if to shield yourself

Thanos winces softly when he hears you call his real name, he always winces when he hears his real name.

He let's out a rough grunt of acknowledgement "What?"

"I don't think I want a abortion"

"Well fuck baby, we can't afford it either way. It was stupid of me to suggest" he lazily responds, while resting his face above your head

"We can't afford to raise it too" you murmer causing Thanos to shift uncomfortably

"I know" he snorts "fuck"

"So what will we do?"

Thanos hears the imploring tone of your voice. Most of the time he was the one asking you that question. In your relationship you were the one who took on the role of the logical one, but here you were, asking Thanos something that you both didn't know the answer to

"I'll-" thanos breathed "I'll figure something out"

You look up at him, moving your face away from his chest, your eyes pleading

"You sure you want the kid?" You ask him

"Your already pregnant anyways, i can't do anything about it"

"This isn't a joke" you retort loudly

"Your the one who said you don't want an abortion!" Thanos also raises his voice

"We can't afford it anyways you idiot!"

"Well damn, it's like i didn't just fucking say that like 5 seconds ago" he thundered which immediately cause you to tear up again

Thanos tilts his head down, pressing his lips into a tight straight line, regretting his actions almost immediately

"Hey" his voice rough and deep as he called out to you "look at me"

He purses his lips when he sees you still refusing to face him, your hands hiding your face

"Hey" he says more softly as he moves your hand away from your face "im sorry okay, cmon just look at me"

Thanos leans his head against yours while he clasps his hand around yours

"I'll figure something out" he raspily breathed out "I'll get a day job, fuck it baby, I'll get 2 day jobs"

You had no strength to talk back, choosing to silently nod

Thanos kisses your forehead while he wipes your tears away

"I said I'll figure something out, so stop your damn crying okay?" He says playfully, in an attempt to stop you from crying

You nodd slowly, causing him to smile tightly

he kneels down, facing your stomach "im sure the baby wouldn't want to hear his mom cry huh?" He announces as if though he was talking to the baby

He looks up to your face to see your face, trying to make you laugh or smile or anything at all

"You better not be a shit ass kid" thanos pokes your stomach softly "cause of you, your mom's hormones are going wild already"

"Asshole" you breathed with a laugh "im crying cause of you, fucking prick"

Thanos grins as he looks up to you, standing up he grabs your hand

"I swear" he picks your hands up, placing a soft kiss "ill figure something out for the three of us"

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

Finding a job was hard

Especially as a retired rapper who basically got fucking conned by some asshole on the internet

Fucking bitch

Thanos stays up awake, leaning against the wall of the trashy one room so called apartment that you both lived in.

He inhales his cyan blue vape while eyeing the cigarette burn marks that painted the wall

His head thuds against the dirty peeling wallpaper, while you layed asleep on the floor across him, only a thin blanket covering your body

A soft smile graces his features when he notices the slight swell of your stomach

That's his kid right there, that's the mother of his child right there

Thanos couldn't afford to marry your right now, he wishes he could.

Fucking hell, he couldn't even afford a shitty ring let alone a ring that you actually deserved, he'd marry you with a plastic bottle seal if he could but he knew that you deserved more,

Damn, you deserve so much better than him, so much more than what he could give you

The kid in your stomach deserved better too. His kid

Thanos's smile fades away, leaving behind a grimace when he notices that the blanket doesn't fully cover your body, noticing the colour far beyond faded and the material already thinning out

He immediately unzips his jacket, going forward to place it above your body. It was the least that he could do

Suddenly, a piece of paper falls out of the pocket, he notices it as the card from the strange man earlier

Just thinking about it pissed him off, he recieved more slaps than money

Holding the card in his hand, he turns it over, mouthing the number behind the card, he swallows nervously unlike him while contemplating whether it was worth calling

Slowly typing in the digits in his phone he places his device on his ear, holding his breath as the phone rings

Once, twice, the phone continues to ring, thrice, now going four times

Thanos sighs, bringing the phone down, ready to press cancel when suddenly

"In order to sign up to play the game, please submit your name and date of birth"

Thanos breathes sharply, his finger wavering above the cancel button while your sleeping figure which remained unaware of what raced through your boyfriend's head

"Fuck" thanos curses, he glances at you

Thanos's hands trembled as he filled in his details, his pupils dilated, his mouth dried.

He knew what you'd say if you were awake, scolding him for being so naive and believing but you didn't meet that strange man in the grey suit did you?

He bites his lips when he reads the address and time of where he was suppose to go, noticing that the last date of entering the so called games was the current date

"I wont be gone for long" he mutters softly as he stands up, placing a kiss on your cheek before heading towards the door

He puts his old shoes on, the only branded ones he had left from back in his rapper days, the one who had picked for him, the only pair he didn't sell

He slips outside quietly, before sparring you one last glance

"Wait for me, just for a little bit" he whispered with a faint smile though it didnt quite didn't reach his eyes

He glances from your face to your stomach "your dad will be back with shit ton of money, i'll make sure you both live well"

He pauses before closing the door, contemplating for a minute, it felt so wrong to leave just like that,

He didn't want to go, it felt like the wrong thing to do but he steps out of the house anyway

"Take care of your mom when I'm gone"

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

The next morning, you wake up warmer than you usually do, but you can't ignore the ever so persistent pounding of your heart

Your heart feels heavier than usual too

Noticing your boyfriend's jacket wrapped around you, you slowly wake up, looking for him

You look for him for the entire day,

it soon turns into 2 days and 2 days soon turn into 2 weeks

The bruise you recieved earlier that day after being chased down the street by some debt collectors begun to sting.

They didn't care whether you were pregnant or not, they just wanted the money you had borrowed from them back

And then that's when it hits you

When your standing on top cold floor of, with only your boyfriend's jacket left as a reminder of him,

He left.

He left without saying anything, without leaving even a single trace, he left not even with a single goodbye

He left you.

Your hand trails to your stomach.

He left the both of you

You sink down, legs giving out as your body trembles, you lie on the wilting cot that served as a place of comfort, sobbing, shrieking, crying his name out

Screaming anything that would have send him running towards you,

But no one comes.

Unbeknownst to you, at the very same time you fall on the ground, thanos's cold body is lifted up from the cold bathroom floor and packed into black coloured coffin

His eyes still wide open, his entire body covered in his own blood

When the guards strip his clothes away, they find something in his pocket

A plastic ring

it couldn't have been worth much, maybe from a kids toy, it left the guards puzzled

What would a person like Thanos be doing with a plastic ring in his pocket?

Perhaps you would understand it better

After all, he held you, consoled you. That prick even left you without a single trace

[building-made-of-paper]

Story time!

My mother loves poker. She played all throughout college and grad school and sometimes goes to poker nights with friends. Nothing crazy high stakes (though she's played with people who make a living off of it) but she does believe that if you're not betting something it's not worth playing. As you might guess, she's more than a little bit competitive.

She has always wanted my sister and I to play poker, and has taught us various different flavors of poker over the years. And in a move that I believe stems from that same desire, she has a tradition of gifting each of us a deck of cards for one of the nights of Channukah. She also snuck decks of cards into our luggage when we moved off to college. She's convinced that if poker is god, then she is the messiah and we are the chosen people.

This year, because Channukah was later than usual, both my sister and I were home to receive our deck of cards and somehow she convinced us that this meant we needed to play poker. ("It's a life skill!" "What if all your friends are starting a poker group?") What she didn't realize was that in one of the decks she had bought the two jokers were the 12 of spades and the 16 of diamonds.

We play for a bit with a couple other decks (partially so my sister can relearn a few different types of poker), and eventually I add the third deck into the mix and volunteer to prepare it between rounds. I shuffle the deck, making sure to force the cards to be near the top of the deck (one side effect of growing up with many many decks of cards is you learn some card tricks, or at least the basics.)

My mother is the dealer that round. We're all dealt cards. Nobody flinches. My sister and I know what's happening, my parents do not. We bet. I do not have great cards. I stay in because if I pull this off I want to still be in play. Out comes the flop. The opening card is the 12 of spades. The other two cards are not face cards, so after much confusion we decide that it must be a stylistic choice. We agree to play it as a queen. We bet again. I am losing money at this point, but that's okay. I'm in it for the bit, not the money.

We turn the river. It's the queen of diamonds. My parents are baffled. No reasonable person would make a stylistic choice such that one queen is a face card and the other is a 12, right? Well, given the store we got these from (which also sells a Magic Flying Butterfly, a bowl made of guitar strings, and many other oddities) the stylistic choices are likely to be confusing.

Over the course of the rest of the game we manage to reveal all four queens. And we also have the 12 of spades. At this point the pot is ruled dead and everyone gets their money back (thank goodness, I would have lost handily), and laughs are had all around. Eventually the deck was searched through and the 16 of diamonds was discovered, to everyone's great amusement.

Moral of the story? Manipulate other people wants and needs so that you can always stay committed to the bit. Or just like have fun, I guess. Yeah maybe don't do that first thing.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Desiring Defiance | Kim Taehyung | One Shot | Teaser

Summary: Taehyung as a Mafia Lord takes care of his own, but when his priority becomes you, imagine his surprise...and delight when he figures out you want nothing to do with him. Pairing: f!reader x Mafia Lord Taehyung (Contract Marriage) (Taehyung's pov) Word Count: TBD Warnings: Smut, Explicit Language, Weapons, Drugs, Violence etc. (I haven't finished it so I'll add more warnings when the full fic comes out) A/N: I wanted to get this out to see if there's any interest in this story since I usually write fics for Jungkook but I'll be writing it regardless. Just wanted to have an opportunity to get a taglist going if possible p.s. This is my first Mafia fic and it's barely edited so pls have mercy on me 🥲 Requested by and anon 💜

"I've scheduled the jet for your birthday and have alerted the local staff to be ready for your arrival" my assistant relays, my men and I having a leisurely meeting and therefore feeling comfortable sharing in front of them since they're usually a part of those plans.

"You should book this new stripper I found while we're there. I've heard that she leaves her patrons thoroughly…satisfied" one of them says, wiping his nose off after inhaling a line of a white powder that we all know leads to no good.

I wave him off, knowing if I let him run his mouth the suggestions will go from crude to vulgar if left unchecked.

"No stripper?" one of the guys chimes in, feeling as though he got a toy he was entitled to taken away from him.

"You guys aren't coming this year" I say after telling my assistant we'll discuss this matter later.

"What do you mean we're not coming?" another chimes in, looking utterly betrayed. "I have other plans in mind this year" I inform, loosening my tie, it suddenly feeling a little too tight.

"Who are you going with if not us?" another asks, the notion completely ridiculous from their self centered viewpoint.

"My wife" I say, pulling out my phone to check her location, seeing that she's still at the office when she was supposed to be home an hour ago making me sigh and stand up, the group raising to their feet as a sign respect.

"You mean the woman you paid to marry you?" one of them mumbles, making a bold statement leaving me chuckling darkly while shaking my head, my pace slow but deliberate as I walk up to him, resting my hand on his shoulder before drawing my gun seconds later and placing the barrel against his temple.

The cold steel on his skin makes him shudder, the implications of what just one single pull of it's trigger could do to his life. His very well being dancing in the palm of my hand, oh so tempting to snuff out but I show some restraint and press the gun a little harder against his temple making him lean over, trying to get away from the no doubt painful pressure.

All the rest of my men are frozen in place, knowing better than to intervene, knowing that any sign of fear or questioning of my judgement could result in the intent to kill being pointed towards them.

"I suggest you watch your fucking mouth when you talk about my wife" I growl and he nods, apologizing profusely, sinking further and further down onto the floor, practically shaking with fear and when I cock the gun I can see the way his body tenses up in restraint, holding back the wince he no doubt wants to let out.

I stand there for a while, debating whether or not I should make an example out of him in the most extreme way possible.

I ultimately decide to withdraw my gun, placing it back on my person, fixing my suit jacket and running my fingers through my hair, letting out a sigh.

"Take him out back" I say and turn to walk away, leaving his pleas for mercy to fall of deaf ears.

He should know better. They all should know better than to question me or my judgement. Leaving me turning back to address the rest of the group once the guilty party is taken away, his wails for mercy soon being exchanged for wails of pain, muffled by the door now separating us.

"My business with my wife is none of any of your concern. Plus, it's not like many of you remember the reason we go abroad at the end of the year anyways, so there's no need for you to be included" I say and they all turn their eyes down disappointed but not surprised that this was cemented as a result of one man's sin.

"Make sure there aren't any loose ends I need to tie up while I'm gone…or when I get back" I say giving a pointed look to all of them, resulting in a unanimous sound of intent to do as they're told.

"Clean up my office. I don't want to see a single crumb or anything out of place when I get back" I say looking at one man in particular that has been crunching on a bag of chips since I walked in leaving him closing and setting it aside.

I leave with a unison farewell from all as I head to my car that's been pulled around front, waiting for me.

"Where to sir?" my driver Andrew asks once I get in the back seat, the only one I let speak freely in front of me. "My wife's office" I say leaving him humming. "You don't approve?" I ask, cocking my brow at him through the rear view mirror but he finds no fear in it.

"She's requested not to be disturbed until she's called for a ride home" he relays leaving me sighing, debating on whether or not I should respect her wishes. She's always so stubborn when it comes to work and does everything she can to keep my claws from sinking into it.

I don't feel like listening tonight though, especially not after what happened.

I want to see her. I need to see her.

"Sir?" he asks, trying to see if I've changed my mind given the new information. "My wife's office" I repeat and sit back, knowing I'm making the wrong choice but I won't let anyone keep me from getting what I want.

Not even her.

~~~~

Please let me know what you think and comment or click the link to join the taglist <3

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater Taglist continued in the comments 💜

[adamsrcnan]

honestly i think it's a little redundant to write any think pieces on what jean's endgame ship will be. it's going to be jerejean whether you like it or not. that's the story nora is writing. she said it herself when she announced it. this story is a love story but it's also a story about jean and his journey to recovery (and just because jeremy is the future love interest that doesn't diminish the importance kevin has on jean's life either. jean's feelings for kevin are very much still there but so is the betrayal and hurt of him leaving him in the nest. it's a very convoluted relationship of which we still don't know much about. only what jean has told us, so far. as the man who believes his feelings have not been reciprocated to the same degree, mind you. like, we still have two more books to go, one with more scenes with kevin in them where we will learn more.).

as for jeremy...lmao. have we not been talking about how little we know of him since the book dropped? and now all of a sudden people are claiming to know everything about him and decided he's no good? based on one book? and for some reason because he isn't handling his new traumatised teammate perfectly like a professional with a psychology degree he's somehow not right for jean? since when has anyone in this universe been perfect? or dealt with trauma professionally and perfectly?

do i think it's right that jeremy crossed some boundaries to get some answers about jean's past? no. do i think it's right that he overshared jean's truths to his friends without his permission? fuck no. but we're dealing with a whole different group of people here, most of which have not been traumatised to the level the foxes had been. who are not used to dealing with people like jean. jeremy has his own issues yet to be revealed, he clearly has problems standing up to his family (as seen with his sister), though he has no issue captaining his team (as seen with lucas) and it's suspect that he also doesn't think himself to be as great of a person as everyone else does given the sad look on his face when jean tells him he could never be anyone's villain. so idk why anyone thinks they know anything about him when he's so cagey in his own pov. and nowhere in that, may i add, has he ever implied he wants to "fix" jean. he wants to help him. he wants to give him reasons to enjoy his life now that he can i.e making him take that silly ceramics class for Fun. and given jean has had his whole life centred around exy (which he doesn't even enjoy anymore) i think it's actually very smart and helpful to get him doing things that "don't matter" so that he can learn from it and learn that he can actually live outside exy. that he can make mistakes and be imperfect at something and that's Okay.

at this moment in time in canon, kevin doesn't have that kind of mindset and it's probably because he was allowed the freedom to already pursue an interest outside of exy - his love of history. like are we missing the detail that he begged tetsuji to let him take that as his major and he actually allowed it? kevin, though still has a long way to go, still has something outside of exy he can hold onto and switch off from. jean doesn't have that and jeremy just so happens to come along and give him the option and for some reason that seems to get ignored. i think it's actually one of the most important things about their relationship so far. jeremy still makes all the accommodations jean needs - setting him up with class partners, taking him for a run when he needs to get out of his head, buying a bed to sleep in the room with him. but he also pushes back and insists jean try something to break him out of his unhealthy relationship with exy.

also, hello, jean literally admits to himself it's a Lie when he tells jeremy he doesn't want him to look if it's too much for him to deal with when jean is attacked by grayson. and jeremy refuses to look away. something everyone around jean has done since he was born, probably.

"Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” “I do not want you to look.” It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it..."

jean appreciates when jeremy is so very obviously attracted to jean and openly staring, but doesn't press and removes himself from the situation if he thinks he may come on too strong.

"Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth. He needed to see the easy way Jeremy ceded Jean’s space to him. Jean couldn’t remember the last time someone allowed him any boundaries, and the feeling was as novel as it was addicting."

hello???? that is literally jean himself telling us jeremy just allowed him a boundary. how does that get looked over?

also he's content enough with jeremy in his space that he feels safe enough to almost drift off

"In the quiet he could hear Jeremy breathing, and it was almost as comforting as the heat of another body this close to his. It thawed the parts of him the sun hadn’t reached despite soaking up its glare all day. Jean closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift far away. [...] This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could."

mind you right after this jeremy presses that jean should have his own space and jean insists jeremy share with him and get his own bed. and let's not forget the obvious flirting that has jeremy immediately backtracking and telling jean to let him know if he ever makes him uncomfortable.

ALSO THIS

“Stop asking,” Jean said. “You only think you want these answers.”

jean may find it annoying and unfavourable that jeremy keeps pressing but idk i infer this to be more of jean not knowing how to handle someone actually giving a fuck about what was done to him when he was so used to everyone turning a blind eye.

finally (bc this is getting long) jeremy pushes himself into jean's space when he hugs him, and jean doesn't hug him back but he doesn't push him away either and jeremy is the one who has to wait for jean to let go of his shirt so he can move away.

"Jeremy heard the dismissal in it, but he waited for Jean to let go of his shirt before leaving the room."

i have made a post about this before but jean craves attention and affection, he wants to be loved and to be frank he fucking deserves it more than anyone else does.

i'll finish the post with one last line from jeremy's pov...

"...it wasn't his place to interfere with Jean's trauma or his healing."

jeremy isn't perfect, he's not meant to be.

[slaaverin]

I'm in my bed crying over jikook again.

The thing is, I don't even have the proper words to express what I'm feeling.

It's all so..God I don't know. Improbable? Crazy? It's crazy.

You have two humans that have the most pure souls, with impossible high-stakes lives, that somehow found each other and also found the most beautiful love I have ever witnessed in my 32 years of life.

The probability of this happening is almost zero. It shows there are really bigger and smarter things than little us at play in life.

They went through so much, and so much more than any of us will ever be able to imagine, yet they remained pure at heart, with their love growing ever stronger and more potent by the day.

They let us in on everything, and showed us the true depth of their feelings openly (but even so, it's written all over their faces).

They simply care, a lot. The little things, the trips, the quiet moments, all of it, they really do care. It's not for show. It's real.

It's like we're getting a glimpse of something that doesn't belong to us at all. Yet, they are generous enough to let us experience it vicariously through them. Isn't it an act of love on their part? They don't have to do it. It's not even smart or safe or reasonable for them to do it. But they do anyway. Maybe because they wouldn't be able to help it, even if they wanted to?

How weird it is that our love for them is that strong? We've never even met them. Yet we feel for them something more unconditional than what we feel for some people we've actually met. How strange, don't you think? So we cheer on and support and we feel it all. We care too.

And I can't explain how witnessing jikook's love has been wonderful, how it has filled my heart with an immense amount of joy and reverence and beauty. It is a mystery.

Somehow I feel it's not even about them, even if it is, obviously so. It's simply that love. Isn't something most of us miss? Long, crave for? Wish for everybody.

If all the people would be in love like Jimin & Jungkook are, there would be no wars in the world anymore. It would be completely different.

The lack of love produces incredible darkness, and it's only love that can fix everything.

So I think that's why I cherish their love so much. It is so very precious, so very important, in ways they might not even understand. The fact they have such an audience being exposed to their love, feeling all the feelings, it helps the world heal a tiny little.

It's not a small thing. It matters.

If we can all fill our little corner of the universe with that type of love, we would've won all the battles, done what we came here for, and call it a day.

They've gifted us the incredible gift of are you sure, where their love was quiet and peaceful and certain. They've given us the gcf. And Letter. And then there was Rosebowl, and MMA, and Black Swan. A thousand moments. Again and again they've showed us.

Now they are enlisted together, and I think that there's nothing more to add. Nothing to prove. Nothing to show. It is self-evident and we can only smile and be happy for them.

What an incredible journey it has been, full of laughs, of crying. So many tears (of joy).

When they will come out of military, we can say that a chapter of their life will close, and another one will open. Hopefully a even happier one than the one before.

So yeah I've decided to make a rather big edit about it, this first chapter, those 10 years of love.

(And you're not ready with some of the music I chose, it makes you feel ALL THE THINGS, prepare tissues)

Sorry for this post that is going nowhere.

Sometimes I simply need to scream my love for jikook. They truly deserve it.

Aren't they wonderful? Yes. Yes.

Take care lovely jikookers 💜

[treefey]

I like this! But! I wish they had just made it explicitly Eowyn narrating rather than Miranda Otto doing her best Galadriel. I didn't really like the narration except for the prologue and epilogue parts (sorry). I also hate that they open with the Rings theme-- we'll get to my imaginary better alternative later

If they were gonna reference LOTR, I think a frame story where explicitly Eowyn is telling the WOTR story would be perf. She's telling the story to her kids, maybe they're sick à la Princess Bride. Which would also be perfect because she's a healer. We don't even need visuals; honestly it would probably be great without it because the audience could feel like we're the kids. And who doesn't want to feel like you're in a boring post-war Gondor with the best parents tucking you in and telling you a very bloody bedtime story? Also it would shut up the conspiracy theorists who think media is pushing women to not want kids, not that we need to bend to those people

I love the opening over the map, so open over a map of Gondor with the Gondor theme. And then have Eowyn talk about how she is gonna tell a story of her people, maybe that she knows we want to hear about the war of the ring, or Merry & Pippin's homeland, or one of their dad's ranger adventures, but instead she's gonna tell us a little known tale of the Rohirrim, a tale of adventure and loss and the human spirit. A time when the shieldmaidens' banner hung proudly in Meduseld. Then pan over to Rohan and say the story takes place during the first line of Rohan, x years before Theoden reigned. Idk, maybe it's cheesy, but the right lines could make it soo cozy and focus the story a little bit more.

Maybe there's kids in the voiceover, maybe not. Depends on just how much cheese we want. And how much you think the audience would believe that we could have a very maternal storyteller who is also so unfazed by blood she'd tell her kids this story. (I mean, she probably has had her hands up to her elbows inside people when there's a farm injury or a breech baby, so I'm not surprised we get a bit more gore than LOTR)

There's other things I would do to focus the story around the war more, give it more a three-act structure. But specifically in regards to doing a frame story rather than regular narration, I wouldn't do any more Eowyn voiceovers until the end. Or if we did wanna do the whole Princess Bride version, have a kid ask why Gondor didn't help out and have her or Faramir answer what was going on in Gondor at that time (would be funny if Faramir started answering and Eowyn interrupts and says it's time for a Rohan story right now, and the two kingdoms weren't always as close as close as they are now, let's get back to the story). But back to the end, I like the "that's how the first line ended and second line started." We could add more, like the throne passed from uncle to nephew as it did later. And remember whenever you feel alone or scared, that not only does the blood of Helm Hammerhand flow in your veins, but also the blood of his daughter who protected her people by wit and by sword. And even though most accounts have forgotten her name, we're all still here because of Hera's bravery.

I'm obsessed, actually, like parts of the story that reflect Eowyn's (and Eomer's but mostly Eowyn's) story from LotR sort of in an "each stanza rhymes" kind of way until it occurs to you that Miranda Otto is narrating with this sort of implication that it's Eowyn herself telling the story and reading it through her own experiences plus the fact that it's mostly a behind the scenes sort of story and all the great deeds were attributed to other people (Hera isn't even named in the appendices) alongside the explicit statement that Hera isn't remembered in any of the songs, making this something Eowyn either heard passed down in a non-traditional way, reconstructed from historical evidence she found herself, or possibly learned about from Gandalf, which loops back around into Eowyn's own complex with regards of all the great deeds being done by the men and not remembered for great deeds in songs -- and like okay maybe I'm reading too much into it but I'm obsessed okay

[sunnyie-eve]

52 | Tattoo

Series: Unexpected

Paring: Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Tara knows secret, fans being annoying

| MASTERLIST |

"Should we prank Dani?" Matt asks Nick and Chris while they were live on Twitch, "Like do something to her room?"

Chris looks down at his phone to see Dani texting him, who was at Tara's place watching them, "Oh Dani says... If any of us go into her room... She will..." Chris reads the texts.

"Of course she's watching us right now." Matt looks at Nick.

"But she said she will kill us if we pass through her doorway." Chris finishes reading the text, "Her room is off limits. If we don't listen to her, we're gonna regret it big big big time. So she says listen to her." He tells the two.

"Don't worry Dani." Nick smiles, "I'll listen to you. I stay out of your room when you're home. Unlike these two, mainly Matt."

Chris looks down at his phone and it was Dani telling him that the food he asked for was arriving, "I'll be right back." Chris leaves to go get his food.

As Matt tries to read chat he laughs saying he thinks he needs glasses while Nick reads so too, "Dani was in a Loony Tunes photoshoot."

"Lola Bunny." Matt says making Nick look at him, "What?"

"Stop."

"What? That's who she was in that shoot." Matt says then goes back to reading chat and they start talking about tattoos, "Matt, tattoo tour."

"Give them one." Nick tells him, "You only have this one arm tattooed right?"

"Yeah, there's two I've never shown people."

"Which ones?" Nick leans in to hear him.

"I can show them." Matt laughs.

"Matching set?"

"No, I'm not showing that one off and I have to take my shirt off to do so." Matt explains.

"So you're showing only this one?" Nick looks at the tattoo, "I think they've seen it."

"No, they've tried too. They've almost seen it. They've taken guesses."

"I think they've seen it." Nick sticks to it so Matt shakes his heads.

"Nope, never seen it." Matt turns to try to show it off.

"Dani wants one similar." Nick says, as Matt has trouble showing it off.

"It's a gargoyle." Matt finally shows it, "And then the back of my shoulder has the matching set."

"Same spot as Dani." Nick adds.

"I'm not showing it off because I just don't want to. It's super meaningful to me." Matt explains to chat as Chris comes back.

"Did you show them the matching set?" He asks him.

"What are you about to eat?" Nick looks at his food.

"Dani order what I wanted." Chris shrugs, "But did you show the matching set off?" Chris asks again.

"No, I told chat I wasn't going to."

"Why?" Chris asks curious because Dani doesn't try to hide hers from being seen.

"Because I personally don't want to show it off. As I said, it's super meaningful to me. I will say that mine is the moon while Dani has the sun but I'm still not showing it off."

"I kind of get it since some people like to get matching tattoos with people they're fans of and yours is meaningful to you." Nick speaks up and they see some of the chat saying why is it so meaningful if it's just with a friend.

"It's just with a friend..." Matt reads and can't help but roll his eyes, "Not just any friend, guys. It's with Dani and she's family now. Plus she designed our tattoos so they are personal to us." Matt explains.

"She did? I didn't even know that." Chris was surprised and Nick was too.

"Yeah, that's why it's my favorite tattoo."

"Wow, more than our matching set." Nick plays around.

"Way more. The tattoo is like my baby that I'm protective of." Matt laughs, and Dani, who was still watching them laughs as well with Tara.

"Someone said matching tattoos is something to be serious about." Nick reads and rolls his eyes a bit as well. Yeah, that was true with most people but not   Matt and Dani.

"It is, that's exactly why we got them. Thank you for worrying. I know exactly what I was doing. It was my idea and she designed it."

Tara can't help but laugh muting the live for a second to look at Dani, "Why did he want to get a tattoo with you?"

"At the time he said he wanted to make our bond stronger and permanent so he came up with the idea of a matching tattoo." Dani explains to her then unmutes the live.

At the moment the topic slightly changed but she was still the main focus of chat. "Dani's a pick me." Nick reads, "I'm gonna start banning people like you. If I or any decent person sees hate towards Dani will ban who said it."

"Do you even know the definition of pick me?" Chris asks, "She has never seeking our attention. It's actually the opposite. We seek her attention." Chris laughs making the girls laugh as well.

"As we've said in the past... Dani isn't going anywhere so love her as well or leave. Because she's really not going anywhere at the moment and I don't plan on it either." Matt tells chat and Tara screams startling Dani.

"YOU GUYS ARE SECRETLY DATING!" Tara jumps up and down screaming. "That was such a dead giveaway to me. At the moment! He doesn't plan on it either! AHHHHH!"

Dani watches Tara run around the room happily, "Are you done yet?" Dani laughs at her.

"AND YOU AREN'T DENYING IT! AHHH YES!!!!" Tara rushes over grabbing her by the shoulders shaking her, "I'M SO HAPPY!"

Dani just laughs at her, "I can tell."

"How long? Tell me everything!"

"Late March, I slipped up and he asked me out. I told him that if maybe he asked me instead of Chris, my answer would've be different." Dani tells her and Tara screams.

"THREE MONTHS! Who all knows?"

"Marylou, Justin, Madison, and you now. I think we're getting to the point where me might tell certain people like Nick, Chris, Sam, my family, Jimmy, and their friend Nate. I just really don't want to tell Colby, you know." Dani turns off the live.

"Well, he's gonna have to get over it. I know he likes Matt but only dislikes him when you're around. Out of anyone, Matt is someone he doesn't have to worry about dating you. Matt is so sweet and truly cares for you."

"Honestly, I haven't spoken to Colby since our fight we had. And no, I don't want to get into it right now." Dani leans back on the couch.

"I'm sure once he sees you two as a couple it will finally hit him that Matt makes you happy and feel loved." Tara smiles, "Anything else you wanna tell me?" Tara gives her a look.

"Hey, knock it off." Dani laughs, "You don't need to know all the details of my relationship with especially private stuff."

"I know, I know." Tara laughs then types in chat hoping the guys will see it and they don't but fans let them know Tara said hi.

"I don't trust you Tara." Matt looks right into the camera so Dani texts him she knows as well now.

"Dani!" He shouts then leans closer to the camera, "What the hell?" He asks so she calls him.

"Oh look, she's calling." He shows the camera his phone and her poster for when she calls was her giving Trevor a kiss as they sat on his bed back home and her name also had a heart after it.

Most people wouldn't care about the picture but some had pointed out she was in his room, wearing his shirt, and tiny boyshorts.

"What do you want?" He answers the phone.

"Why are you yelling at me through a livestream?" She asks him and he laughs before putting her in speaker.

"Hi Dani, Hi Tara." Nick waves.

"HIIII!" Tara yells then sees some of the comments, "Guys, Dani's name in my phone also has a heart after her name. It's not a big deal." She adds leaning closer to Dani's phone to be heard.

"Look." Nick grabs his phone to show he also had a heart next to Dani's name as well, "It's nothing."

"Chat, even in my phone each brother has their favorite color heart next to their name." Dani ;ets them know, "Okay, I'm turning y'all off so we can watch a movie. Love you guys." Dani says then hangs up then turns off the live.

"Some fans are so annoying." Tara rolls her eyes.

"I know and you deal with a lot with you still being close friends with Jake."

[metis-iphigenia]

As someone who has been a fan of The Odyssey, being inside the Epic: The Musical fandom has been absolutely so amazing. Every Saga that has happened up to the Ithaca Saga was just so,,, great that I can't find words😭😭 Not only that it has been amazing to read other peoples interpretion of the Gods, Myths, Monsters and Heroes alike.

Anyway, I can't get over the Ithaca Saga and how beautiful every song sounds. So have some of my favourite moments in this Saga.

1- The Challenge

In the past Sagas, I have already been too in love with the violin playing whenever Penelope was mentioned etc, not only that I already knew the singer of Penelope had an amazing voice. BUT OH MY LOVE DID THE VOICE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD./pos

Sirens are real guys and she is one of them(real information)

I don't have a significant favourite part in this song because honestly Anna Lea's voice is so captivating that the entire song passes in a very fun way. Just a very beautiful, sorrowful song overall.

2- Hold Them Down

I already knew this song from the snippets released before but hearing it from Ayron's voice was a whole different experience. He was SO good. Again, the whole song was amazing.

"Can't you guys see we're being played? This is how they hold us down while the throne gets colder. Hold us down while we slowly age. Hold us down while the boy gets bolder. Where in the hell is our pride and our rage?"

One of my favourite moments in this song was this probably. While listening, I actually got the feeling that the suitors were fed up from waiting for Penelope to choose a king. I think Ayron did a wonderful job in not only singing a villainous song but also making us feel how entitled the suitors are actually are.

I especially loved the moment where Antinous gets hit with an arrow by Odysseus and him encouraging the others about their plan is cut off. I will admit, I did audibly laughed at that.

3- Odysseus

I literally can't think of words to describe the emotions I was feeling while listening to this song. I think this is my favourite song alongside of "Would You Fall in Love with Me Again".

The electric guitar playing in the start, again the symbol of him becoming a monster and leaving his humanity(the acoustic guitar) MAN I LOVED THIS SONG.

Him aiming for the torches just like Scylla has done was a great add to that too. Bunch of people has already pointed out this before but it can never be too many amiright? But yeah he really is using every trick in his domain just like Hermes told him to and I love it.

"Somewhere in the shadows lurks an agile, deadly foe..."

(...)

"He's using the darkness to hide his approaches!"

The image of Odysseus as Batman popped up in my head after these lines and I can't get it out😭(That au would be so amazing though, especially Talia as Penelope and Damian as Telemachus.)

"You don't think I know my own palace? I built it."

I was already smiling during this whole song and I screamed when he said this. like okay king you go slay I am right behind you

"Old king, our leader is dead. You've destroyed the serpent's head, now the rest of us are no longer a threat.

Old king, forgive us instead, so that no more blood is shed. Let's have open arms instead."

Well It is not a Saga if it doesn't have an "open arms" comeback I guess. Though I did cackle when Odysseus said "No" and killed the guy.

Honestly, deserved. I might be remembering it wrong but I think Eurymachus also asks for forgiveness in The Odyssey? Really glad Odysseus didn't grant it in The Odyssey and in The Epic because from what I remember in The Odyssey, Eurymachus was Antinous' right-hand man and just as bad as him. (Correct me if I am wrong please, It has been a while since the last time I read The Odyssey)

I have no idea who sings Eurymachus in Epic but this whole part was just enough for me to want to learn who it is.

TELEMACHUS' PART! Mico's voice is already beautiful to listen to and it became way more beautiful with the backround music. His own theme music, violin symbolising all that he has learned from his mother. Those sounds just went really well against eachother in my opinion.

"Brothers, we have company, and he's made a grave mistake."

The way this guy sang the sentence, especially "grave mistake" was so satisfying. Absolutely so satisfying I love it.

Also, I heard somewhere that the "Odysseus" repeating in the backround was how the name was pronounced and I love that detail. I loved whenever his name was said in the backround and it is also very interesting how every monsters song is named after them, just like this song.

The screams of the suitors after the whole slaughter is over was a really nice touch, I love it when Jorge adds screams into his songs.

The speech Odysseus gives is also worth to mention.

Mercy? Mercy? My mercy has long since drowned, It died to bring me home. And as long as you're around, my family's fate is left unknown.

You plotted to kill my son, you planned to rape my wife! All of you are going to die!

I also love how it doesn't beat it around the bush about what the suitors were planning to do to Penelope. It should be said as it is, they were planning to rape her which is so vile and awful. Which what made their deaths so satisfying exactly.

Overall, Odysseus was an amazing song. So amazing that I will be going insane about it to my friends for the next 2 months probably.

4- I Can't Help but Wonder

I was crying by the end of this song. Seeing them FINALLY reunite was so 😭😭😭 ALSO THEIR HUG. ☹️☹️☹️/pos

Oh my son, look how much you've grown. Oh my boy, the sweetest joy I've known. Twenty years ago I held you in my arms, how time has flown.

Used to say I'd make the storm clouds cry for you, used to say I'd capture wind and sky for you. Held you in my arms prepared to die for you, oh how times has flown.

Hi, so this should be illegal! All I want to say about this song is how emotional and beautiful it was. And I love how it reminded me of "Dear Theodosia" in Hamilton.

THE WARRIOR OF THE MIND COMEBACK. DEAD AND BURIED. I am not well after that ☹️☹️ Also Odysseus putting everything behind for his family,,, falls to knees with my hands ripping my hair... I am so happy for them.

5- Would You Fall in Love with Me Again?

Finally, we are onto the song that made me shit tears. The OdyPen reunion we all were waiting for just like they were.

THE VIOLIN IN THE START. It is so beautiful just like Penelope, I can't get over it.

Again, Anna Lea's voice make me want to just drop everything I have and listen to it until I start to lose the ability to hear. It is so amazing.

Love how whenever someone uses the word "Waiting" in the song, Its volume and impact raises more than the last one. I especially loved Penelope ending it with "for you." saying that it was him she was waiting for, not love itself because to her, he is her love. I don' know if that made sense but hope I was able to explain it.

The part where Penelope asks Odysseus to carry their wedding bed away from here was such a beautiful moment becasue Anna Lea just sang it very beautifully(as she does as always) It was so emotional and so beautiful.

How could you say this?

I had built that wedding bed with my blood and sweat, carved it into the olive tree where we first met. A symbol of my love everlasting...

Do you realize what you have asked me? The only way to move it is to it cut from its roots!

I just find their Tree Bed very sweet that is all. And a lot of people have pointed out how in The Odyssey, Penelope asked her husband this to prove to herself that this is her husband, while in Epic she asked this to prove to him that he is her husband. I find that change very sweet.

I will fall in love with you over and over again. I don’t care how, where, or when, no matter how long it’s been you're mine.

Don’t tell me you’re not the same person! You’re always my husband and I’ve been waiting, waiting.

The emotion in her voice OHHHH I AM NOT SURVIVING THIS SAGA.

Never getting over the fact that Epic The Musical ended with Odysseus and Penelope saying "I love you." to eachother. NEVER.

There are so much more things I want to say about this banger of a Saga. But for now, I will just congratulate them all on their beautiful voices(EVERY single person who sang in this musical has amazing voice, counting other Sagas too. Holy damn, y'all are amazing.)

The fandom has been an AWESOME one to be in too! Everyone is such amazing people and not only that all of you are very talented. So congratulations to every and each one of you who have done fanarts, fanfictions, animations, fan songs, analysis and so so much more about the Musical, all of you are amazing. <33

[universalzones]

"I'll get them on the horn as fast as I can." Twist may not be in service anymore, though he still kept in contact with a lot of his buddies which had really moved up the ladder. Enough to where the lemur was sure they could make something work for him. "Though I can't promise they won't try to send any of their own medical staff here to oversee things. Hopefully I can get an old friend who's more laxed and won't overstep." He knew that when it came to medics they weren't the biggest fan of someone stepping on what one would consider their turf.

Twist then turned his attention to one of the nurses. "I suppose a list of all civilians injured. If I know on thing that hasn't changed is them doing a double check on anyone they let through." The lemur didn't know much about The Restoration besides what he heard so doubts they'd attempt to sneak any members out as an injured civilian, though one can never be too careful.

"Wouldn't hurt to add the level of injury they have to make sure anyone with more severe injuries are taken with a bit more priority to make sure they're safely transferred." Twist was well aware that improper transfer with an injured could make the problem worse, cause new ones, or even end a life. "Might be good to find someone on this side ready to help keep people in order. Once people hear they get to leave some might try to rush and that'll be a whole different problem."

===========================================================

"G.U.N is here?! We're so screwed! Of all the people who's attention we didn't want to get G.U.N was at the very top of the list! Those guys are ruthless! No way we can survive being taken in by them!" Rough and Tumble may have caused problems, though it was always FAR below anything to get the attention of G.U.N. Getting on their list is a good way to find yourself in an early grave.

"Whoa, hold on bro. G.U.N may be here, though there's no way to know for sure if they're coming after us too. After all, we were in those outfits all this time. I mean, for all they know we aren't even here." Tumble was clearly the more level headed of the two, though even he was sweating quite a bit at the thought of getting put on G.U.Ns list for being a threat. From what the skunk knew they shot first and asked questions pretty much never.

Rough would take a few breaths as Tumble did have a point. "Yeah, that's a good point bro. Just, G.U.N isn't something I want either of us to deal with, ever." The skunk would rather take the fall and have Tumble go free then both be on G.U.N's bad side. Now that he was calm he could focus on Jewel's strange offer. "We still work for Clutch. I mean, I think we do. He didn't fire us, right?"

"Nah, he didn't fire us bro. Not like we can call him and ask him too since he was the one who usually called us. Typically from a burner phone." Despite Tumble clearing seeming to have more brains then Rough they both were still a bit dumb. "Never been arrested without getting fired. Kinda weird he hasn't called us angrily shouting we're fired."

Lanolin wasn't going to let the current situation get in the way of helping the people here at the infirmary. Especially with the short staff and, Getting some help would let Dawn take a break. She clearly needed it. She knew even she had limits and, even if she said she was fine she had a hunch that wasn't true.

" Then get in touch with them and see what can be worked out. I doubt altriss has time to stop caring for his patients to bother, but i'm sure Nurse Dawn can give you what ever you need. If we can get the civilians to safety then i'm willing to deal... there safety is more important then anything right now. "

Dawn gave Lanolin a nod as she eyed the old man, as she still didn't like him or his wife. but they did need help and the mouse had access to files, numbers, and anything else they might need. Plus she could keep an eye on the GUN soldiers and doctors that came in, just in case they were up to no good.

" I can give you what you need, Altriss is swamped right now... unlike me he can't just make copies of himself... he doesn't have time to stop but, i can cover it! guess i'll be earning that overtime pay... "

=============================================

Her carapace was cracked, it was the equivalent to a concussion for anyone else. But her shell acted as an extra layer of protection. It still hurt and made her feel dizzy and nauseated. Though she expected the worst from the Skunks, it seemed they just wanted to get out of this bad situation. Knowing Clutch he probably didn't give them any other choice. She just needed her world to stop spinning for half a second so she could move.

She opted to just relax but knew closing her eyes was probably a bad idea. She gingerly touched the crack and winced, but at least it wasn't to bad. With a bit of tape, and a bandage she was sure it would heal on its own. The real trouble here was just getting out of the rubble and somewhere safe.

" I had a feeling Clutch swindled you both... Vanilla told me she had a talk with you both. I didn't think it would be enough but ... she had faith in both of you "

She spoke in a softer tone, as she leaned against the one holding her to steady herself.

" I came to get you both out of that cell, before something bad happened. I guess i wasn't fast enough..."

She gave them both a glance and was coming to realize that they maybe weren't so bad. A Little rough around the edges, maybe they just needed a guiding hand and a chance to do the right thing. She'd see if that was true, if they meant what they said---and Vanilla seemed to think so.

" GUN has the place surrounded, isn't anywhere for you to run anymore. Isn't anywhere for any of us to run anymore... if we want to make it out of this Crisis... we need to work together. "

She sat herself up but had to lean against the skunk boy just to steady herself.

" So, How about you two just come work for me... until this is over, i'll consider you my personal body guards. I'm starting to think i could use a couple..."

[transfemme-shelterdog]

I genuinely thought my wife would remain the only trans woman i have ever met who dont think trans men are being insufferable brats when we attempt to talk about how we're treated for being the "dirty icky yucky oppressor" gender by other queer people and seen as a wannabe half-breed by cis people. im really, indescribably happy i've met another one. I cant thank you enough for talking about trans men and our struggles and not treating us all like some horrible insane collective of crybabies. thank you so much. thank you so so so fucking much. i know you get dozens of these but i am typing this through tears in my eyes. Thank you.

I want to add: I'm black. I cant articulate it well, but watching (mostly) white women parade around how much they're entitled to hate hate hate queer men and how we could never ever ever be socially ostracized/oppressed for our identities makes me scared when i know about who Emmett Till was. That mentality still exists within cis white women and it makes me TERRIFIED to interact with them. White women do have a sort of social power over black men and it is fucking terrifying to be exposed to IRL. Seeing white trans women latch onto that exact same power and ferociously defend their right to do so puts a level of fear and hurt in me that i also cant describe very well. I hope that makes sense, because i have experienced this dynamic with white women personally.

Hey man, glad you reached out to me, and thank you for sharing your experiences with me. As a trans white woman, I'm inclined to agree that it's mainly white women/transfems who are pulling this shit. It's really concerning seeing not only my fellow queer women, but also white people completely ignoring the oppression that trans men (especially POC) face globally. Like, in the US there's the upcoming administration that's gonna ban birth control, the loss of abortion rights already, and the bathroom/sports bills that affect all trans people, not to mention corrective rape in the Southern states. Then in other countries there's FGM and more corrective rape.

We should be working together, not pushing each other down to see who has it "worse", because we all face oppression in different ways.

I can only hope that we come together at some point, else we are truly fucked.

[michaelmilligan]

The Jonmartin manifesto no one asked for but needed to get out

So, I've not been in the tma fandom for long yet, having only listened to it for the first time a few months ago. But from browsing the Jonmartin (and teaholding and jmart) tag regularly, it seems to me like most jonmartin shippers fall into one of these two categories:

They would find each other in every universe; or

It's a miracle they even got together in this universe

(Obviously, that's an oversimplification, and people who express one view in one post can easily hold a different view at another time - these are fictional characters we're talking about after all, and headcanons don't need to be consistent and can even contradict each other. This is just the general vibe I got so far.)

Anyway, I wanted to add my own two cents on the topic, because while I understand where both of these views are coming from, I think neither of them is ultimately correct.

(Putting the rest under a read more - be warned that this is NOT a spoiler-free post, so if you haven't finished listening to TMA yet and you want a spoiler-free experience, you probably shouldn't read this.)

So, before we get to my own opinion, let's first look at where the two options I mentioned above come from, shall we?

"They would find each other in every universe"

Obviously, this view is highly romantic - star-crossed lovers, finding each other again and again. It is both a good foundational basis for AUs, and a ray of hope in the face of the tragedy that is the tma finale.

Of course, concerning the finale, this is a rather different take than concerning AUs (since it would mean the very same characters finding each other again in a different world, not fundamentally different characters, shaped by said other world, also finding each other). And maybe when people express this view, they mean more the finale fix-its than AUs, though I suspect that plenty of people mean both.

It's a nice, comforting thought. And don't we all need some comfort after the finale? Yes, we certainly do. (Except for the people who read only hurt without comfort and angst, I guess. You do you, and I'm glad you're having fun, but personally I do desperately need some comfort, lmao.)

Is this view supported by canon though?

Cynical minds would say no, and personally I'm more inclined to agree with them, though as I've said, for me the truth lies outside of those two rigid stances (somewhere in between, I suppose).

I don't see much in canon which points to Jon and Martin falling in love under any circumstances/in any universe, especially considering their... let's say difficult relationships at the start of the show. But of course we must also take into account the specific circumstances in canon (more on that below) and interpretations vary, and I do very much enjoy AUs, so I'm certainly not trying to throw shade if you're on this side of the 'divide'.

Mostly, I think there CAN be other circumstances in which those two get together, outside the canon ones. (I'm writing a canon-divergent jonmartin fic myself, lol.) Let's get into that while we look at the other view, shall we.

"It's a miracle they even got together in this one"

Ah, the Martin-approved stance. One could say 'well, they literally said it in canon' and be done with it. However, that would require us to believe that the opinions of the characters are always true and correct, which. Lmao. We only have to listen to season 2 of tma to know that this is very much not the case.

And even if S5 Martin is not S2 Jon at the height of his paranoia, he's still very much a man shaped by his own life and experiences. I'm sure he would call himself a realist, but he honestly seems more like a pessimist to me. Which is understandable, given his life, and his association with the Lonely, which has often been (in my opinion accurately) compared to depression.

The thing is, Jon did treat Martin horribly in S1, and then he admittedly treated everyone horribly in S2. It was only in the course of S3 that their relationship got more, let's say, equal, with Jon no longer thinking Martin would be 'contributing nothing but delays'. (And then of course we have S4, which I LOVE even though it hurts me deeply. Then again, that's the whole show. And, obviously, S5 my beloved.)

So. Jon seemed to hate Martin in S1, while Martin was arguably already in love with the man. (Arguably. We do know that he acted catty to Basira in S2, so it's reasonable to assume that he started liking him at some point in S1, or even before the show started.) Then a lot of traumatic things happened, and they got together.

This means it must be the traumatic things that made them compatible, right? Just like Martin says in S5?

Well, one could see it that way. Jon certainly changed over the seasons, coming off his high horse and such. (In S5, he arguably gets back on it quite a bit, but then he IS the Eye's specialest little princess in a world that's literally ruled by it. And also he is slowly losing his grip on his own humanity. But I digress.)

And I do think that the trauma channeled a lot of those changes - the first time we see Jon being actually emotionally open (something he still struggles with over all seasons, because people don't just change fundamentally that quickly) is during Prentiss' attack on the Institute. They're in a situation where they might reasonably die (they even expect it, because they don't know that Elias is just rubbing his greedy little paws as he waits for things to get worse before he saves them with the gas).

I do think that moment could have been a big turning point for Jon and Martin, if it hadn't been immediately followed with the discovery of Gertrude's body, and Jon's subsequent descent into paranoia. Jon opened up, and also saw that Martin was rather competent during the attack, which could have led to them becoming closer, respectively having at least something like a normal work relationship.

But then Jon got paranoid and interpreted everything he saw negatively, including Martin's competence, which was twisted in his mind to 'What if he's just been pretending to be incompetent and is actually an evil agent out to kill the archivist'.

(Big sigh.)

Anyway, before I lose myself in the red string as well: Yes, Jon seems to 'mellow' over the seasons, especially with regard to Martin, at the same time that he's going through terribly traumatic events.

But does that mean that it's actually the trauma that's changing him and his relationships? Partly, certainly, but I would argue that trauma doesn't make you nicer or kinder. It might make you realise some things, but that doesn't mean that you can't realise those things in other ways.

And does it means that they couldn't have come together if they had met under different circumstances? Also not necessarily! I would even argue that the specific circumstances they met under were detrimental to Jon's first impression of Martin. And yes, this goes beyond the dog story.

So let's try and dissect their relationship from the start.

A theory of... something like nuance, or whatever

The starting situation

(Yes, I did have to use a Supernatural gif, thank you for asking. No, I will not apologise. <3)

Alright. So let's start with what we actually know about Jon and Martin's first meeting. Obviously, there's the dog story, though as far as I know that's not 'canon' because it wasn't actually in the podcast. I still like it, and think it adds another reason to Jon's behaviour, though I don't necessarily think it's necessary, because Jon already had lots of other reasons to tell himself that Martin wasn't worth his time.

1.1. Jon has issues. More at 11.

First of all, we learn throughout the podcast that Jon doesn't actually have any qualifications to lead an archive. He's probably 29 when the show starts (in 2016, going by the fandom wiki stating that he was born in 1987, which is reasonable given everything we learn about his age).

So, he's 29 and suddenly appointed, after four years of working in one department, to become the head of a completely different department. He does not have a degree that would give him credentials for leading an archive, nor are we told that he has ever even worked in an archive. For all we know, and that he knows, he is woefully underqualified. (This is also, I think, highlighted in S2 when Jon threatens to resign, only to then be baffled by Elias saying that he would be difficult to replace. Elias means something completely different than his skill set as an archivist with a lower case 'a', presumably, but then Jon doesn't know that.)

This means that Jon is in a highly stressful position, because he's trying to do a job he doesn't actually know how to do, while also trying not to let on that he doesn't know how to do it!

It doesn't help that Jon is also terribly scared of what all might be lurking in the shadows (or even in the light), as he himself admits during the Prentiss attack. He is extremely high-strung from day one, basically a wet chihuahua shaking in a slight breeze, while trying to seem like a strong bulldog.

We also know that Jon asked for two people to be his assistants: Tim and Sasha. They both worked in research, and Sasha also briefly worked in artefact storage, making them both qualified to help Jon with following up on statements. But I think more than their qualifications, Jon probably requested them because he knew and got along with them.

Imagine: Your boss tells you that he's promoting you into a position you're not qualified for and which you have no real clue how to do. Wouldn't you rather have people around you who you're already friendly with, and who are likely to cut you some slack if you're not perfect on day one? I know I would!

1.2. Elias is a little shit and I want to kill him with hammers (affectionately)

And then Elias transfers Martin.

I'm going off the dog story again, because again, I like it, and I think it does fit neatly into canon. If this story is to be believed, Elias neither asked nor did he tell Jon that he was giving him another assistant. He apparently simply told Martin 'you work at the archives now, congratulations' and then went back to his office to smile smugly to himself.

This is a VERY bad start for a working relationship, because not only does Martin come in unannounced, this also comes off as Elias not respecting Jon, or potentially even sending someone to report back to Elias (because Martin is the only one who doesn't have an established rapport with Jon).

Jon never verbalises this suspicion, so maybe this is too much interpretation on my part, but in any case it's cause for a lot of resentment on Jon's part, and since he can't exactly let it out on Elias (who is rarely there, anyway), he simply lets it out on Martin.

He finds reasons to do so, of course, insulting his work and all that. It's probably easy, especially in the beginning, because not unlike Jon, Martin doesn't have any qualifications to work in an archive! He worked at the library before, and we know that his degree is made up (which we can only assume Elias knows, considering he can know almost anything).

(I actually find the question on why Elias transferred Martin in the first place extremely interesting, and might get into that in another post. But this one is already too long, lmao.)

1.3. Martin is too nice, aka Jon has even more issues

This is mostly my personal headcanon, though I do feel it fits Jon's character - which is that he doesn't know how to deal with nice people.

Not kind people. Not friendly people. But nice people.

People who do things seemingly out of the mere goodness of their heart. Like bringing their mean boss tea when he never asked them to do that. Like being friendly even in the face of insults. Someone who constantly takes himself back in favour of other people and their opinions.

People like Martin is appearing to be. Appearing, because Martin isn't actually like that. He does have his opinions, and he could probably grumble up a storm in S1 about Jon, but Jon is his BOSS, and so he plays.

Martin also IS genuinely a nice person most of the time (when he's not on a revenge rampage, making his boyfriend murder people). He doesn't have to do nice things for Jon like bring him tea in S2. But he does. Because that's Martin's way of trying to reach out, to show other people that he means no harm (and that he can be useful).

(I also think that Jon's snappish behaviour, where Martin never quite knows what will set the man off, might remind him off his mum, but again I digress. :))

But I think Jon doesn't know how to deal with that, because even when he's not in the height of paranoia, he still suspects that people who are THAT nice (especially when they have no reason to be nice because he's being an arsehole to them) have a secret agenda. This is playing into what I said under 2 (the part that might be too much interpretation on my side lol), because if Jon suspects that Martin is reporting back to Elias, or is at least someone who would not be friendly if he found out that Jon doesn't know what he's doing, then he can't allow himself to relax around him, and he certainly can't allow himself to be lulled into false security (as Jon would think) around him.

Tl;dr on this point: I think Jon is wary of Martin's niceness because he thinks he might be fishing for gossip/anything he can use against Jon. And even if he isn't, Jon thinks he would be likely to use anything he learns against Jon, because they weren't friends to begin with, and Jon's behaviour has made them anything but that.

(We have to remember that this is the guy who says in S2 that he knows what it's like to 'lack the respect of one's peers', aka the kid who got bullied by at least one older kid, and likely had no or very few friends - plus he believes in the supernatural, which doesn't exactly lend itself well to getting academic respect.)

1.4. They were fucked from the start, your honour

Basically what the meme says, but yeah. The they were put in practically guaranteed that Jon would be wary of Martin, and that Martin would be trying extra hard to make friends with him, which in turn would make Jon even more wary/hostile.

And Elias made it worse, either knowingly or by negligence (not telling Jon about transferring Martin).

If we add the whole dog story to it... they were fucked. I do actually wonder if, assuming we take the dog story as canon, Elias actually somehow managed to set that up. Or whether he was at least cackling (sorry, smiling ever so silently, but smugly) in his office as it happened, or whenever he ended up knowing that it happened.

2. Yes, we've had one starting point, but what about second starting point?

As we have established above, the starting situation for Jon and Martin was... not ideal. So, would they have gotten together easily given a different starting point, like in a cute coffee shop AU?

Eh.

It's true that the specific situation they were in made it a lot harder for them to actually communicate and see each other as they are than it had to be. That doesn't mean that a different situation would have made it easy, though.

Their personalities still make it hard, though, as even without the added stress of a new job, Jon is still a little chihuahua shaking in the corner, who tries to make up for it by barking at everyone, and Martin is still the guy trying to approach him with treats and getting his hand bitten.

There are certainly specific situation that could make it easier, especially if Jon isn't scared as hell, and has maybe already learned that not everyone who does something nice for him wants to just pull on his strings. (Yes, I do think that the thing that makes Martin, according to Annabelle, suited for the Web, is the thing that put Jon on edge at the beginning. I don't know if this was intended at all, but it makes me cackle.)

The beauty of fanfic is that we can do whatever the hell we want. But I think the most fun thing an AU author can do is think 'What would have to happen, in this specific scenario, for these two to get over themselves and get together?'

Excursion: Martin, my beloved depressed blorbo who I am certainly not projecting on, haha

Because it IS both of them who need to get over themselves. Of course Jon's issues are the most obvious, and I've certainly expanded on them enough. But Martin also has a problem, and it's that he's constantly hiding his true feelings and opinions, especially anger and fear.

That makes sense, perhaps, in a workplace, though considering he's dealing with a walking, talking worm hive and a stalker boss... Let's just say it probably would have helped Tim, too, if Martin hadn't been so desperate to make everyone be friends again.

Because Martin is always TRYING to make everything better for everyone, but he's actually not helping anyone. Being nice to Jon and bringing him tea doesn't help battle his paranoia. And trying to tell Tim not to be so angry at Jon, and can't they all be friends, doesn't actually help Tim with his anger.

All Martin is essentially doing is making himself small and saying 'let's get along, pretty please' every now and then. I don't know if it would have helped if he had expressed his own fears and anger, and maybe Jon would have misconstrued that as well, too deep in his paranoia already. But at least Tim might have realised that he was not alone in all this. (His biggest problem, as he says in S2, is that he feels that no one has his back, which I think at least partly results from no one expressing the same anger, aka no one validating his feelings.)

Anyway! (Jon voice) Excursion ends.

3. (To the melody of 'What shall we do with the drunken sailor') What shall we do with these total idiots?

So, how ARE these two going to get together, if they're so woefully unequipped to deal with each other?

Well, first we need to give Martin a good helping of self-confidence. Then we need to kind of give Jon the same, since his problem ALSO is that he's unsure of himself, he just tries to make other people small to cover it up, instead of making himself small. (And isn't that a funny thing to do for someone who we know was bullied. To become a bully himself. Oh, the snake, biting its own tail...)

The easy answer is, of course: You can come up with your own version, get creative. <3

The more complex answer is: A lot of stuff, probably. Jon and Martin will certainly need time to get to know each other, and of course it depends on what situation you put them in to start. But there will be misunderstandings, and there will be hurt feelings, and I am going to soak it up all like a particularly slowburn-greedy sponge.

I feel like there are probably five million ways to get them together, and some might be cute and fluffy (if they go to therapy first, I guess, lol) and many will be full of tears. <3 (Jon voice) And I want to see them all on my desk by Friday! So get to it!

In all seriousness though, yeah, I think there's not one right way for them to get together (though canon did it well imo). But it's also a little more complex than we might give it credit to (very much including me).

4. So what now?

I don't know. I'm not your dad. Write a fic. Draw a picture. Put down your own thoughts on the matter. Or take a shower and clean up your room, young Padawan!

(Though actually, if you've read this post from start to finish in one session, what you should probably do is get up and stretch and get some water.)

And above all! And this is imperative.

Have a good day. <3

[notsobravetoaster]

Ok I wanted to do it for quite some time now

Those are all I could think about/saw people throw around. I could easily talk more in depth about each one, so if you're not sure what I mean, don't hesitate to ask. I can't add more answers, so if u have other theories or believe it's multiple reasons, feel free to share them in the tags 👇👇

Reblogs for a bigger sample size will be appreciated 🙏

[fanfictiongirlie]

Marvel: Unplanned Chapter Nineteen

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader (First person written though)

Description:

"It says...it says it's positive doll" His voice matching mine in a quiet shaky whisper.

"Fuck... I'm pregnant?"

"Yeah doll, you're pregnant"

"Fuck" I whisper.

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, smut

Chapter Words: 1,584

The phase didn't stop. A month later Jamie was still sleeping in mine and Bucky's room. She would cry and scream every time we even tried to put her to sleep in her own room. 

Bucky was getting increasingly frustrated with the situation. The lack of privacy and alone time was starting to wear thin on his patience. 

"Jamie, sweet girl, you have to sleep in your bed, this is mama and dada's bed" I sigh as I walk back and forth with Jamie, she clings to me, her small hands gripping my shirt firmly. 

"No" She whined "Stay with mama and dada"

"Why don't you wanna sleep in your own room? Like a big girl?" 

Jamie puffs out her cheeks, her little face a mixture of sadness and stubbornness. She clings tighter to me, her small body trembling ever so slightly. 

"Scary, dark...Want mama and dada"

"Oh darling" I whisper, stroking through her lovely brown locks. Bucky then walks into the rom, his expression a mix of frustration and concern. He walks over to us, sitting on the bed close to where I stood. 

"Any luck?" He asks. 

"We got you that nice night light, it's not dark anymore" I whisper. 

"Maybe it's not the dark that's scaring her" 

"What then?" I ask, sitting next to Bucky on the bed. He scratches the back of his head, thinking for a moment. He frowns, his brow furrowing as he tries to figure it out. 

"Maybe she's afraid of being alone...Or there are...monsters?" He started to say "Some small kids are scared of monsters right?"

"I hope not" I mumble, I then look down to Jamie, her blue eyes looking up at me. I smiled softly, her eyes were the same as Bucky's. "Jamie, what scares you in your room baby?"

"Scared" She mumbles. 

"Baby, there's no such thing as monsters, plus you're extra lucky...Wanna know why?" I ask her. Jamie looks up, her eyes wide and curious. A glimmer of hope appears in her teary eyes as she nods, her small hands loosening their grip on my shirt. 

"Because your mama and dada are superheroes" Bucky adds, a wide grin on his face. Jamie's expression goes from sad to wide-eye wonder. She looks at both me and Bucky with newfound awe, her fear momentarily replaced by fascination. 

"Mama...dada...superheroes?"

"That's right baby, we're superheroes!" I grin. 

"And you know what happens to monsters when they come near superheroes?" Bucky asks. 

"What dada?" Jamie asks, twisting her body to face Bucky. 

Bucky leans a little closer to Jamie, his voice dropping to a whisper, a hint of playful menace in his words. 

"They run away, Superheroes like mama and dada scare them away with our powers. No monsters would dare cross us" 

"Exactly baby girl" I add. 

Jamie looks between Bucky and me, her fear slowly fading, replaced with a sense of security. 

"No monsters, mama and dada scare them away"

"Precisely, so will you try  and sleep in your own room?" I ask her. She nods, her small hands clenching and unclenching my shirt as she thinks over the request. 

"Okay mama" 

"That's my girl", now give dada a kiss and I'll take you to bed" I smile. She pulls away from me, reaching out to Bucky. He takes her in his arm, holding her close, Jamie leaves a sloppy kiss on his cheek and he follows by peppering kisses all over her face, causing her to giggle. 

Once the giggle session was over I take Jamie again, walking her to her room. I laid her in her crib and read her story, staying with her until she falls asleep. I wait a few more moments, watching her sleep, stroking her hair from her face before leaving, confidant she was going to stay asleep. 

I turned away from her, only to see Bucky waiting by the door, leaning against the door frame, I jumped slightly, shaking my head I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his middle, his arm went around my shoulder, holding me tight. 

"Looks like she's out like a light" He whispers. 

"Think she'll stay?" I ask back. 

"I hope so, we need some alone time" He answers, we turn and leave Jamie's room and walk back to our own room. Bucky walks over to the bed first, flopping down, he lets out a weary sigh. 

"Yeah we do" I smirk, crawling into the bed, pressing my body against his. Bucky slides his arm around my waist, pulling me closer against him. His touch was firm, yet gentle, a silent affirmation of his need for me. 

"Ever since Jamie started sleeping in our room, it's like we've forgotten what alone time is" He grumbles. 

"Tell me about it, I think I've forgotten your touch" I say with a slight giggle. Bucky chuckles, the sound low and deep in his throat. His hand trails up my side tracing the curve or my hip and waist. 

"Well, I guess I better remind you then" He says, and with a quick and fluid motion he rolls me onto my back, pinning me beneath him. A small unexpected moan left my lips as he did. 

"Please?" I begged. Bucky moved slightly, his lips finding their way to my neck, he trailed a line of kisses down to my collarbone. His touch was firm and possessive, as his lips nipped at my collarbone. 

"Fuck" I muttered "Skip foreplay, I need you now baby" I said, my voice sounding whiny and needy. Bucky looked back up at me, his eyes darkening at my words, a predatory look replacing the usual gentle gaze in his eyes. His hands gripped my hips tightly. 

"Patience, doll. I plan to savor this" His lips find their way back to my neck, his teeth nipping at my skin as his hands begin to roam over my body, his touch growing bolder and more urgent. 

"You evil teasing man" I say with a grin. 

I could feel Bucky smirk against my skin, his breath hot against my neck. He grins, his hand moved up to my chin, tilting my head slightly, so our eyes met. 

"You love it, don't deny it" He smirks. 

"I love you" I say, looking up into his eyes, feeling overwhelmed with my feelings for this man. His expression softens for a moment, a wave of tenderness passed through us. His grip on my chin loosens, his touch becoming more gentle as he caresses my jawline with his thumb. 

"I love you to, doll. More than anything"

He shoots me another smirk and moves down, his lips find my neck again, kissing lower travelling from my neck down to lift my shirt so I was left naked on my top half. He moves his fingers to toy with my nipples as his lips kiss along my lower abdomen. 

"Mmm baby" I moan softly. Bucky's hands move up, his fingers skimming over my skin, tracing a path from my hips to my stomach. His mouth follows, his lips marking a trail up my body, pressing kisses along my abdomen, up to my chest.

"You like that, doll?"

"Love it" I whimper back, his fingers finally dip into my pyjama trousers, his lips were on my neck again, as his fingers move down the folds of my pussy, I was wet, more than usual, due to how needy I felt. 

"You're so responsive" He whispers as he finally pushes two fingers into me "I love it"

"Bucky please, need you inside of me" I begged, moving my hips up against his fingers. His fingers felt great inside of me, but I needed more, something bigger. 

With a swift movement Bucky wiggles down pulling my pyjama trousers down, he makes quick hast to make to come a few times on his fingers and tongue a few times, before finally giving me exactly what I wanted. 

He pressed his thick cock into me, stretching me the way I liked. I held onto his shoulders tightly as he holds onto my hip as he thrusts into me. 

"It's been so long baby, not sure I'll last" He groans, his voice breaking into a whine. 

"Fuck, I don't care, just needed you, needed this, fuck I love you" I rambled. 

Bucky groans at me words, the sound guttural and filled with lust, his hips slammed into me hard, we both moaned loudly. He stopped for a moment, moving his fingers down to my clit, pressing circles into the bundle of nerves. 

My legs started to shake as I held them against Bucky's hips, he slowly moved in and out of me again, his cock hitting my g-spot perfectly, sending me into a surge of pleasure, it shaking through my body hard, as I close my eyes and slam a hand over my lips to muffle my moans. 

Bucky groaned loudly, pressing his head into the crook of my neck as his hips slammed into me, coming deep within me. We laid there gripping onto one another, our breath heavy and our chests rising and lowering in sync. 

"I'm sorry I didn't last longer" Bucky said, his voice muffled by my shoulder. 

"I don't mind baby" I say stroking his back gently "That was really good"

He finally moves, collapsing beside me, his arms wrapping around me, pulling me tight against him. 

"I missed this, missed being able to touch you like this, have you all to myself" He murmurs. 

"I missed you too darling"

Taglist:

@quinquinquincy @jaybbygrl @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @learisa @hi172826 @ravennablue @purplecolordeer @a-small-blue-nebula @buckitostan @knyaotjjkbiatch

[luvo27]

just so we're clear: the reason i used so many words to describe the steph &/ cass relationship in the fic that does not exist is because the theme of that nonexistent fic is about the wonderfully complex nature of aspec relationships and how language serves and also fails to accurately describe them and the way that the world can try to impose a type of relationship in an attempt to either understand or make more palatable what is not something that can be easily understood, and so boiling it down to steph/cass or queerplatonic steph/cass or steph&cass would go against what i'm trying to do, even if the fic in question literally does not even exist. so why am i still talking about this nonexistent fic?

this is an excuse to talk about my feelings regarding aromantic and asexual representation on ao3. (note that i say on ao3, and not in fandom in general because this is me talking about my specific personal experiences, which mostly take place through ao3)

BIG DISCLAIMER THAT I WENT BACK AND ADDED IN BECUASE THIS WENT OFF THE RAILS: this is based on PERSONAL EXPERIENCE and FILLED WITH MY BIASES and was written IN A HAZE. (that being said this is something i've thought a lot about over months if not years.)

that tiny disclaimer aside, it goes without saying that fandom as a whole is primarily motivated by shipping, and so fanfiction on ao3 is primarily focused on shipping as well. shout out to this one time i was in high school and reading fic and someone asked (with good intentions) what ship i was reading for, and when i answered none, they asked (again, with good intentions,) what the point of doing that was. this, as you might imagine, made me feel weird to say the least! anyways, go on ao3 and the majority of fandoms will have an m/m pairing in the top most written. go into a small number of fandoms, and an f/m or f/f ship will hold the top spot. (femslash in fandom is a completely different topic) how many fandoms have platonic relationships at the top?

anyways i got curious so working off the knowledge that i have i did some quick looks at a handful of different fandom tags. fandoms which had platonic relationships at the most popular that i expected: dream smp and teenage mutant ninja turtles (all media types). honestly i was a little surprised to see that platonic relationships were at the top for both batman (all media types) and batman (comics), and I was expecting umbrella academy to have a platonic relationship at the top, but it was actually Dave/Klaus! in dr who and related fandoms, there aren't any platonic tags that break the top 10. and ohoho, here's where we get into it: dimension 20's top written relationship was fig/ayda, followed by riz/fabian in second place.

luvo, why did you say here's where we get into it? well, i just talked about the way that fandom focuses on shipping over platonic relationships, but i'm here to talk about aro/ace characters! in ao3's advanced search, if you look for fics with 'asexual' in any category, there are as of 1/7/2025 a total of 67,515 works. looking up 'aromantic' in any category whittles it down to 26,845 works. out of the over 14 million works posted on ao3? (number pulled from wikipedia) these are small numbers, but IT GETS BETTER. if you click on the AROMANTIC TAG, the top written relationship in the AROMANTIC TAG is a SLASH SHIP. (Alastor/Vox, Hazbin Hotel at 533 works.) sort fics under the aromantic tag by kudos, and the first fic under the gen category instead of m/m or multi is the 6th work down, and overall, gen works account for 6,950 out of 18,413 works under the aromantic tag.

my point being, only a small number of fics written with platonic relationships add to aro/ace rep in fic, and following that, when aro/ace characters ARE represented, it seems to be...how do i put this...typically with a shipping lens?

let's take a step back. I want to ask the question of how many canonically aromantic and/or characters exist. just. exist. wikipedia has a decently respectable list of asexual characters in fiction, as well as a much shorter list of aromantic characters in fiction. quick disclaimer that some medias are not represented such as podcasts (jon magnus archives?) or ttrpg shows (riz gukgak?)

what i will point your attention to is: how many of these characters are made explicitly aromantic or asexual within the text of their media? answer: not a lot of them. the majority of these characters have their sexualities confirmed in behind the scenes type things, such as Victor's (Arcane) voice actor saying he's asexual in an interview, Lilith (Owl House) confirmed asexual? or aromantic? over a charity livestream and twitter, Max (Miraculous Ladybug) confirmed asexual in a tweet, etc etc. kudos to Todd and Yolanda (Bojack Horseman) for being confirmed asexual in the media they're portrayed in! these all taken from the asexual characters page, the trend follows in the page about aromantic characters: namely, that if characters are aro/ace, typically explicit confirmation of these identities takes place outside of the media they're portrayed in.

why is that important? because without an explicit confirmation, it makes it a lot easier for denial of these identities to occur. yes, maybe it was the intention of the creators, but look. once a story leaves the author's hands, it belongs to the audience and intentions often have little to no bearing. additionally, if you're reading this then you probably understand that people will also deny coding characters as being gay or bisexual without an explicit onscreen kiss or declaration or some such. and why is this important?

putting the pieces together: characters can be confirmed as allo lgbtq+ through physical acts portrayed explicitly in their stories. characters who are aro/ace, well. more often than not, they can't. they're relegated to being coded as such, and confirmation, no matter how strong the coding, can often be easily ignored or possibly never even heard of.

do not get me wrong, I GET IT. Characters exist in settings where they don't have the word aromantic, or maybe it wouldn't be in character for them to say it as such. I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. one of my most popular fics i've posted is about Riz Gukgak and his struggle with internalized aphobia. the words aromantic or asexual do not appear ONCE in the fic. In the sequel, A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHARACTER has to say the words, and RIZ NEVER ACTUALLY CONFIRMS HIS IDENTITY. I UNDERSTAND THE STRUGGLE.

let's continue down the riz gukgak train. here are the facts: a sizable number of fans of dimension 20's fantasy high would say that riz gukgak is heavily aro/ace coded, with scenes such as:

making up a fake partner ("Clearly you haven't been kissed yet." ... "Actually, I'm dating somebody in the Baronies." Fantasy High Sophomore Year, Sophomore Start, 1:26:55)

being told that he is afraid of his friends leaving him for romantic relationships, (“The years will go by, and everyone will find someone that matters more to them than you do.” - Fantasy High Sophomore Year: Fearful Symmetry, 46:24)

telling his dad that he doesn't want to have sex ("yeah, I don't know... it just isn't happening yet? Like, not even just the act is not happening yet, like me wanting to do it." "It's not happening?" "It's not happening yet. And my friends are all like, [whispered] super horny." - Fantasy High Sophomore year, My Green Heaven, taken from a conversation around the 33 minute arc)

additionally, in an adventuring party episode of a spinoff series, the seven, Brennan Lee Mulligan says that Riz is asexual. ("...in a scene, Murph's character lies about having a partner, like a romantic partner, because Riz is ace, is asexual." - Adventuring party, season six episode eleven at 31:22 )

with all the love to my friends over in the d20 fic server for hunting these quotes down for me. truly my life is made all the better by the d20 fic community in a way that i will never know how to describe

here are some more facts! late march of 2024, with the release of the episode Baron's Game, I was lurking around the fhjy tag on tumblr. given the nature of the internet, there was discourse about riz and his identity, or his lack thereof. apologies to my d20 friends reading this who i love a lot, my rendition of a summary of said discourse follows below:

"if he's only coded to be aro/ace, that doesn't make him actually so. Brennan Lee Mulligan isn't the person who plays Riz, and him saying that he's ace is in behind the scenes content for a different show. Additionally, he only says that Riz is asexual, not aromantic. And even if Riz is aroace, aroace people can still be in romantic and sexual relationships, or a queerplatonic one!"

"why does it seem like everyone is ignoring the fact that riz is aroace? Kristen Applebee's sexuality (lesbian) would never be erased to ship her with a guy, so why are so many people doing it to Riz? Writing Riz in queerplatonic relationships is inaccurate because he's shown to be uninterested in relationships resembling anything like romantic ones, it seems like people are only interested in writing queerplatonic relationships as an excuse to write aromantic characters in the ship dynamic they want to," etc, etc. you get the gist.

let's get something straight about my stance on what people can and can't do with fictional characters: you can do literally whatever you want forever. ship riz in a romantic and sexual relationship. don't. whatever. i do not care. i do not care. he's not real. he's a fake character. he is a character. he exists for the audience to do literally whatever they want with him forever. i'll argue for someone's right to ship this character in whatever way they want. if they go down i go down with them-

ahem. sorry. my overall stance on fan creation crept into this thing that's supposed to be about how aro/ace characters are represented in fandom. whoops.

no, but let's talk about that. so, my personal interpretation of riz gukgak is that he's aroace and both romantically and sexually repulsed. i'm fairly confident in saying that my interpretation is supported by canon. some of my friends interpret riz and fabian seacaster's relationship as a queerplatonic one and they write fic about it, and i've read some it it, and i enjoyed it a lot!! and their interpretation is also supported by canon!! some people will interpret riz as simply being a late bloomer! or demi! or whatever! and guess what!!!! this will also have basis in canon!!!! gasp. shock. it's almost like stories exist for a wide variety of people to interpret them however they want to and i'm back to my philosophy on how we interpret stories in general stay on task luvo this is already too long.

so. recap. there aren't a lot of aro/ace characters who exist. often, their sexualities are reliant on coding due to the nature of the identity, and confirmation if it exists is often found behind the scenes instead of in the media. relatively, there isn't a lot of aro/ace fic on ao3. within that aro/ace fic, there's often relationships tagged with the typically romantic and/or sexual slash.

let's talk about aro/ace characters written in relationships of the romantic, sexual, and queerplatonic variety. mostly the queerplatonic variety. look, the thing is that sometimes it's easier to write a good story explicitly about being aro/ace if it's also a story about finding a queerplatonic relationship. sometimes it's easier to write a good story about being aro/ace if it's a story about finding a romantic and/or sexual relationship. writing the story comes down to the same reason so many aro/ace people struggle to find their identities in the first place: how do you find something that isn't there? sometimes, you do that by focusing on what is there.

let's keep going down this train. there aren't a lot of aro/ace characters. there are a hundred million different unique and complicated ways to have a romantic, sexual, queerplatonic, or straight up platonic relationship. Every single story written about aro/ace characters in relationships of any kind will resonate with someone, whether that's the person who wrote it, or someone who will read it. people write fic about characters in queerplatonic relationships that are exactly like what would generally be considered a conventional romantic relationship, and the only difference is that the characters refer to it as a queerplatonic relationship. thinking ungenerously, maybe this fic was written by an allo writer who just wanted to write a ship. The thing about fanfiction and its growing popularity, is that i would put money on the fact that this has happened, and at least one aspec reader stumbled upon it and their mind was blown and they felt seen.

the first fic i ever wrote with an aroace character tag was 1.8k words, posted over a year ago, and quite honestly i don't think it's very good. i wrote a second fic with the same character tagged as aroace again almost half a year ago, and again, not one of my personal favorites. but I got comments on those fics where someone felt seen, and were happy that they got to see this character be aroace, and were happy to see that this character got a happy ending, if a nontraditional one.

and remember when i brought up the slash fic under the aromantic tag? if you look under the tag Queerplatonic relationships, at the time i'm writing this there are 14,400 works. 5,941 of those are gen, the rest fall into m/m, f/f, m/f, multi, and other. the thing is, there isn't a signifier for queerplatonic relationships. a lot of the time to indicate one, authors on ao3 will use &, /, or a combination, or whatever. the fact of the matter is that the words romantic, platonic, and queerplatonic are doing so much work to carry such a wide variety of how a relationship is expressed, and even if there was a symbol to indicate queerplatonic relationships, (which there are in some places. the comic fan fiction author archive uses ~ to indicate qprs,) there are a hundred thousand different ways for qprs to look like.

um so. i started writing this like maybe 2 or 3 or more hours ago and i don't even know if i have or have ever had a point and this is extremely rambly and not organized in the slightest, but if i do have a point, it's something like:

there aren't a lot of aromantic characters. there aren't a lot of asexual characters. there aren't a lot of aro/ace coded characters. there definitely aren't enough to encompass the incomprehensible number of ways that people can experience or express their identities, and there are never going to be. the human experience is too wonderfully diverse for that, and it's too difficult to distill into the pitifully small vocabulary we have. my point might be to touch grass. by which i mean, don't like don't read, and remember that people are just that: people, with lives and worlds and perspectives of their own, and some of them you will never be able to understand, and sometimes you're not meant to understand them, and they are deserving of love regardless.

[mumuscae]

SPOILERS!!! SPOILERS!!!

Rant on Storytaco's bad writing of dark skinned characters. Specifically Sirius.

I wanna start this out with saying, I do not hate Sirius as a character. He's one of my favorites and I feel like he had wasted potential being in the hands of Storytaco. I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying Sirius as a character either! I believe however that we can enjoy media, and look at it from a critical lense. There are good things about his character and I enjoy a lot of how he was written lore wise!!! Otherwise I wouldn't be so violently obsessed with him since the age of 15 lol. But again. There are a combination of things that I can't really see as a coincidence.

If you have anything to add, or disagree with any of my points, please do not be afraid to say so! I wanna have an actual discussion about this. please I do not bite. I stand pretty firm on my points at this very moment, but I'm entirely willing to listen and change.

Uh. Apologies if my points come across poorly or if my writing is incoherent. There's a reason why I did bad in school lol.

My criticisms are below here. Have fun

Anyways.

Fuck Storytaco?

Uh. This is 100% inspired by recent discussion on the fandoms treatment of Sirius. But I'd like to discuss why this treatment is actively perpetuated by the developers of Arcana Twilight. Which is much more disturbing to think about when you consider their games are often marketed towards minors.(There are other issues with storytaco marketing towards minors too. Uh, idk if those are relevant for this post though. Maybe later cuz it's high key disturbing!!! 😃)

Sirius was written very inconsiderately. Like I know he's a villainous/morally gray character. However I feel like there needs to be a lot more tact when your only dark skinned character is written to be not a good person. Especially in comparison to the light skinned characters. I feel like they just applied every negative trait on earth to him, then turned around and went "jk guys! He's not actually bad. Hes like this cuz he's an orphan." 😭 Like some of these traits would be fine in their own if balanced out with other things, but there's so many combined together that I can't help but feel suspicious of their intentions and bias.

He's the most provocative out of all the love interests. He's consistently initiating suggestive situations, is labeled the "sexyman", and is constantly making innuendos. The game has a lot of fan service in general (even though it's rated E), but Sirius is disproportionately portrayed this way and is just constantly going "hehe sex 😁" Which making him the provocative one is both an issue with him being queer coded and dark skinned..double whammy 😟

He's the dangerous, unpredictable and violent one. He SHOT!!! SHOT the mc within the first few floors. And like. There wasn't even a good reason behind why they decided to write that in other than to make us think he's violent/dangerous/untrustworthy. There are times when it's portrayed that he can't even be trusted alone in a room with the mc, even prior to the villain arc. 😐

He's a pretty much a domestic terrorist.... 😐

He was a wanted criminal for half of the story. Idk if I need to explain what's wrong with that either 😐

He's potentially the only one killed off at the ending depending on your interpretation.

In the clan equivalent of Americans (cough. Guns + eagles + the lazy unlikable rebellious group that just gets into trouble) which is just. Silly. 😭😒

Again he's the "untrustworthy one that nobody wants to be around." This is a point constantly driven in by the characters he's surrounded with. they drill that into the viewers head so so so much.

He's the "party animal" of the group??? Which isn't really portrayed beyond him drinking a lot but was definitely advertised as such.

He's 100% queer coded you cannot convince me otherwise. Which. Now we're falling into queer coded poc villain territory. Double whammy again! Disney is that you?

Going off the queer coded point, he's falling into "predatory gay man" territory. Hes shipped with basically every man in the game by storytaco for promotional and bait reasons. But it's always displayed as Sirius making the other party uncomfortable and getting in their personal space. Making unwanted advances. Like... Y'all don't got a do that

Ok this is possibly nitpicky but deadass why'd they make him a basketball player in the highschool au thingy. He's a theater kid. Nothing about him reads as liking sports. Please do not wear dangly earrings while playing sports??? It bothers me so much 💀

Okay so the sassy, violent, deranged, perverted terrorist... is the only romance-able dark skinned man in the game. ??? NONONO just think about that for a good moment

HE HAS OTHER THINGS IN HIS CHARACTER. THERE ARE GOOD PARTS ABOUT HIS CHARACTER!!! I LOVE SIRIUS SO MUCH. HES VERY COMPLEX AND INTERESTING.. but this is such a horrible combination of very specific negative tropes that it's hard to ignore. Especially when thinking about how this game is advertised to minors who, more often than not, are easily subjected to subconscious bias in media and are easily influenced due to our lack of ability to critically analyze media we're haphazardly consuming. (Sorry fellow minors. As a senior minor aka 17 yo it's the hard truth y'all gotta accept. we've all been there and we've been influenced by media whether we're aware of it or not. I'm not mad at y'all or belittling. Keep having ur funsies with ur silly star men I'm not stopping you lol? This is legitimate concern and criticism towards a company that is promoting weird stereotypes to us)

And I don't think Sirius is just a one off weirdly written dark skinned character from Storytaco. Thuban (WHO IS GREEEEEY. Big issue on its own 😰😭) is depicted as lazy and rude.???? Like he has a single redeeming moment but again. Just reads as "domineering rowdy black man." Especially when you look at the whole great hero trio .. he's supposed to fall within the fantasy "Fighter" archetype with his big ass mace. Compared to Polaris who is like a Cleric and the Wizard/Ranger Schedar.

Also shout out to storytacos other grey men.....???????? I was only able to find four dark skinned men (not just tanned a bit) including Sirius when I went thru Storytacos game catalogue. Two of them are grey. 😐

Anyways Sirius was a huge motivating factor in why I wanted to make Extraterrestrial... Fucked up potential of a character. There are 100% biases showing through how he was written. These were all conscious decisions made on the writers part and I don't think it can be kept behind "he's a morally gray character who's going thru it" because there were so many good ways to show that and his grief without going to every. single. extreme.

--

[feilien]

 Sliding into Zane's lap was an odd sensation, to say the least. Casual intimacy had never really been in their cards. It had either been 'pretend we're just normal friends' or 'try to make as much use of the very limited time we have', very often ending up in heated make-out sessions. There'd rarely been anything in between. Even when at school they had to be careful, knowing damn well that there were eyes everywhere. So the last time he'd sat in someone's lap was probably when he'd been a toddler.

 But it didn't feel... bad. As a matter of fact, he quite enjoyed it, and he let out a quiet, content sigh as he reached up to bury his hand in Zane's hair yet again, playing with it as he took in the way he felt in this very moment. It was almost overwhelming, and yet, he didn't want it to ever end. It felt as though he had finally made it home after all those years, but was constantly on the brink of becoming homeless yet again. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated? Why couldn't he have just this one thing? Reputation be damned. He was already infamous for his deadliness, who the fuck cared if the heir was in love with a guy?

  "You sound more confident than I feel," he muttered, closing his eyes as he tried his best to keep his shudders at bay. Why did he have to be so damn sensitive? And how, exactly, was he supposed to focus on the conversation at hand? A very serious and important one, he might add. Zane should know better. 

 Trying his best to listen, Long Zhi got hung up on 'it could be ours'. He liked the sound of it. Much more than anything else he'd ever heard. But for a while he said nothing at all, and contemplated instead. Zane's proposal wouldn't be without risks, and huge ones at that. It could go wrong in so many ways, could get him in so much trouble, and not to mention the trouble Zane would be in if they were found out.

 But it was worth the risk, wasn't it?

 "I can make it work. But I can't just disappear for days on end without results. If time is what we want, I need to take care of business and quickly. Or else he'll grow suspicious. I can't— I can't afford to fail again. So if we want to make this work.. I'll need your help." Using his hand in Zane's hair, he gently pulled him back just enough so he could meet his gaze. "And I know I've been... Talking a big game, but... Let's take things slow, yeah? We never had the chance to." And I don't know how I'll react if we don't.

       A fluttering sensation sparked in Zane's chest, those implications making his own head spin with desire and longing. Things had certainly gotten heated between them more than once back then, but ... that had been the nervous and uncertain desire of teenagers. Now, they were adults who had some kind of idea what they were doing. Matt deserved to be overwhelmed with everything good Zane had to offer him. He offered a teasing hum of ageeement. ❝And if you want me to tie you to my bed post by then, that can be arranged ... ❞ He was joking, of course. Or was he?

       Each press of Matt's lips against his skin felt like a little electric shock that crackled throughout his entire body. Zane let his eyes fall shut as he tilted his head a little, giving Matt as much room as he desired, exhaling shakily. It took him a moment to focus on the other's words, but as he processed them, it left a painful twinge in his chest. Zane didn't want to imagine a world where this was all the time they would ever have — nor did he want to imagine that they'd be forever opposed. He understood that Zane's one experience wasn't enough for Matt to abandon the only life and family he'd ever known, even if part of him certainly wished it could be that easy.

       He would simply have to find something worse that Matt could not overlook, no matter how hard he tried. That would take a great deal of time and it would no doubt be dangerous beyond belief, but … it was the only way.

       ❝Come here,❞ Zane murmured, urging Matt to carefully slide into his lap. He just wanted him as close as they could possibly be. ❝ Careful, come on.❞ Once he helped Matt get settled, Zane wrapped his arms around his waist carefully, embracing him with a sigh, burying his face into the other's shoulder. He wished they could stay like this forever; safe, wrapped up in one another, basking in each other's warmth, the achingly familiar scent of Matt's cologne, along with the natural one that lingered underneath, encircling him. He pressed a kiss to the other's clothed shoulder.

       ❝I can't either — I won't.❞ Zane pulled back, but only far enough to press a soft kiss against the base of Matt's throat. He continued, pressing open mouthed kisses just above the collar of his shirt, trailing them up his neck. He considered saying exactly what he was thinking about their being opposed right now, but … Zane didn't want this tender moment that he'd been craving for so long to turn into an argument. Instead, he shifted his thoughts to solutions, even if they were temporary.

       ❝This place is the closest safe house I have to you now,❞ he began, his lips having reached just bellow Matt's ear where he softly grazed his teeth against the tender skin there. God, Zane just wanted to take him apart piece by piece. ❝It's far enough from the city, so … it could be ours for now, if you want. When you're off on a job, you need somewhere to stay … ❞ he shrugged. ❝Somewhere to start, at least.❞