#(OK LITERALLY I'M NOT EXPECTING MUCH)
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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THE EYHM COLLECTION GROWS!!!! managed to make some space without having to move too much so they can all be together!!
(i made the smaller ones into stickers bc i'm running out of picture frames!! hope that's ok!)
THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE WHO'S GIFTED THESE TO ME THOUGH!!! I'M CALLING ALL OF YOU OUT HERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!! ❤❤❤❤❤
*sharp inhale* @eskariolis-con-salsa @oddpizza @woobab @the-little-knight @moon9931 @misdreavusplush @noodletime @witch-tower-au !!!!!!!
hope you all have a good holiday season!! love you all! *MWAH*
#don't worry about the fish tanks they'll keep the kitties company! there's literally almost nowhere else good to put these lmao#but!! i think they look good there at least!! AND IN GENERAL THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD THANK YOU#BUT NOW AFTER THIS I REALLY NEED TO FIND MORE SPOTS IF I GET MORE EYHMS BECAUSE THERE'S NO SPACE LEFT THERE!#....maybe i can move some of the pokemon posters i have by my bed lol. they're just kinda. there rn.#but yeah!! i never expected people to like this cat this much and i'm kinda freaking out!!! but thank you again so much!!#i'll say it 1000 times if i have to!!!!!!#eyhm stuff#gift eyhms#basically ALL of the gift eyhms i've gotten lmao. there's a couple that're in progress but they'll hopefully join the others soon-ish!#quick side ramble! i've got a couple more drawing things planned this year but they might take a couple days because Chrimbo and all!#but there's a couple pizza tower things/gifts and. maybe finally my About Me post? gotta figure out how i'm gonna make that heh#OK I'VE BEEN TALKING TOO LONG SORRY BUT I'M JUST SO HAPPY ABOUT THESE AAAHHHHHHH
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do yall have a member that you pull an astronomical amount of 😭 holy shit i don't collect pcs cause i don't have the time to and like only trade with friends but istg if someone goes through my collection they're going to think i collect jake and only him yall i shit you not i got all the romance untold albums with my friends (we were dying paying but its fine i love to support the boys 😤) and tell me how tf i pulled full sets of jake including his post card, ring, AND target exclusive in inceptio and arcanum not to mention his engene ver 💀 my friends and i were dying cause there was no way like what are the odds 😭 lmao sunghoon literally never comes to me and i only get him through my friends who pull him like mans does not like me rip but i just felt like coming on and telling yall cause this was insane and i felt like someone was playing a prank on me
#it's fine cause i love jake 🫶#literally love everyone so much in enhypen i never care who i pull cause i'm happy with everyone#ok but this also happens to me with soobin#every comeback i expect atleast one or two soobin's#no complaints tho 🤭#sunghoon love me pls :)#BUT THE PHOTOCARDS FOR THIS ALBUM ARE INSANE
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Ride 711: A new bike!!
Pag 1
5: Retired from the first years' race:
Rokudai Renta
Pag 3
1: Alright, okay
This is good
4: Watching the first years' race on Minegayama was exciting as always
“Will they be okay riding a a bike like that?”, I think stuff like that
5: Two years ago it was Onoda with his city bike..... and this year it was Rokudai especially
Since his was a cross-bike “remodeled as a road bike”
6: Here
Pag 5
1: A week after the first years' race. Early morning
Sohoku high school's bicycle racing team morning practice
2: Waaaaa
Pag 6
1: Re.... real road bikes are so amazing, teh....!!
2: Waaaaa
3: This is amazing, Kinaka-kun!!
It moves forward and forward amazingly!!
4: Shut up! You're saying “waaaa” and “aaaaah” too much
Aaaaaah, I'm sorry, teh!
Ah, I said it again, the
5: Well
It's a new bike.... and a “road” bike, I know the feeling of riding a new one for the first time!!
Pag 7
2: Good grief, Rokudai
You're so lame, until when are you going to wear your middle school jersey
Ah- Kinaka-kun
You have time today after school?
3: Let's go to a bicycles shop
Uh-
5: Waaa!
This one?
And this one is nice too, right?
What do you think, Kinaka-kun!!
6: Ahh... maybe the right one is better
Surprisingly, he has good taste....
7: Ahh.... after
8: then
Pag 8
1: That time..... at the beginning..... when I made fun of you for being a manager and all that
For that
2: I'm sorry
3: I mean-that's... I thought you might still be worrying about that
Well... that and, you, too
4: During the first years' race a week ago, I saw firsthand your riding, and on the summit's finish line
5: I lost
7: I acknowledge it!! That's!! You're amazing!!
Pag 9
1: Saying always “that's” and “that” when speaking is bland, teh
Whaaaa!? You!! I'm apologizing honestly!!
2: I was joking, teh, I was joking, teh
Sorry
3: Thank you, teh
4: I don't get praised much, so.... I felt awkward.... teh
6: If Kinaka-kun hadn't been there, I wouldn't have worked that hard, teh
7: Ah ah ah, is that so? Really?
Yeah!!
Pag 10
1: That color suits you!!
He's in a good mood now
2: Take the socks of the same color, that'd be cool
Eh, really!!
3: Let's keep going, how much money do you have!?
I have plenty, teh!! 200 yen!!
He can only buy the socks....
4: More importantly, Rokudai. You-
I'll bring him there again
5: You'll stay in the bicycle club, right?
Huh!? Yeah, that's right
That's!! And you're aiming for the top, right!?
Uhm... ah... of co....
6: Then that bike of yours won't do
Pag 11
1: Huh
2: Bicycles races are for a specific type of bikes
And that's road-bikes
3: Your bike was originally a cross-bike for city riding, “remodeled as a road bike”
I don't hate that kind of things, but
The transmission forcibly attached to the handles installed in the dowel hole for the basket
4: A heavy frame that prioritize robustness, and a thin clank
5: Like that, in time of need, you can't fight!!
6: That's... uhm
Next time, I want to race you without any machine handicap!!
7: Race….. !?
8: Against..... me...?
Yeah
Pag 12
1: This time, I'll win officially!!
Pag 13
1: What's up with them.... those two
Are so fast!!
They passed us!!
2: Let's pass them, Rokudai!!
Today's practice is to catch up with Kaburagi-san and the other second years who are ahead of us!!
Pag 14
1: Which one of us will catch up first!!
It's a race!!
2: Yeah!! Teh!!
Pag 15
2: With my skills and stamina, I can't catch up
I can only cling to him with everything I have, teh
As expected....
3: As expected, Kinaka-kun is strong, teh
This year's first years' race.....
Pag 16
1: He's not the “winner” of the first years' race for nothing, teh!!
The first years are getting closer
They're coming, Issa, seriously
Pag 17
3: First years' race results:
First place: Kinaka Tsugunao
4: And also, Kinaka-kun
Pag 18
1: Kinaka-kun is kind
2: He came to talk to me after the first years' race
3: He became kinder to me in class, too
You forgot your eraser!? Here, I'll lend you mine!! Good grief
Ahh.... than you, teh
6: He started to worry about me
7: Maybe
He could feel that I was getting restless
Ah
Pag 19
4: The day after the first years' race
5: Officially
7: ….. are you sure?
Pag 20
1: Thank you for your help
Kai-chan and Kyou-chan quit the bicycles club
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal manga#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#yowamushi pedal translations#ride 711#!!!!!!!!!!! Why is Watanabe so good!!!!! making me care about a character in literally just a few pages!!!!!#Kinaka!!!! I'm sorry i ever said something bad about you!! You are kinda lame but you're also a good boy!!#it's so nice the way he acts with roku-chan????? like i was expecting him to keep being rude to him and then slowly become friends#but instead he's just nice?? in a tsundere way sure but still#and i love the implication that he started taking care of him a little bc roku-chan was struggling#after kei and kyou left the team#its????? such a simple relationship but watanabe has so much talent in writing beautifully even the simplest things#really just one chapter and i already can see all the potential these two have#i mean ofc roku chan by himself but now also kinaka and both of them as a team#i like the friendly rivalry they have now!!#and now i'm wondering if perhaps kinaka will be on the team after all????#like ok one of the two spots if rokudai's for sure#but the other one??? until last chapter i was pretty sure it was danchiku#but tbh you never know it might end up being kinaka after all#and theres always sugimoto mhhhh#i think danchiku is still the most probable but now i have my eyes on kinaka too#as i said- watanabe is a literl genius in writing and i am all here for him#its not easy to keep a sport manga exciting and interesting for more than 700 chapter but he sure can!!!
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jo the second he finds out masato's a little zesty
#not rgg#but if we try it can be#things kiryu would say if rgg allowed slurs#gona start a collection i got that kiryu You're Transgender? pic an now this#snap chats#i just needed an excuse to talk about this episode because HELP ME i didnt think this would be a theme in my fishermen jdrama#quick aside but its related the end theme for this show has literally no right to be so good oh my god.....#i'm gonna start episode 7 of First Penguin tomorrow probably since im gonna hang with my bro the rest of the night#but this episode (ep 6) is giving me a stroke#so for context. or just a lil background. tsutsumi's character in this is an old fisherman named hiro#and he's the most wish-washy bastard i ever seen in my life sometimes i want to strangle him#it's really funny though because he'll be so aggressive towards one thing but then the next after a lil convincing he's just Yeah Ok#funniest shit. anyways. Context Time#like ten minutes before this scene in the same episode he finds out his son's gay#WHICH. HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD CAUSE I DIDNT THINK THAT WOULD BE A THING#but anyway As Expected he has a fit over it because My Son This Is A Fisher Village Everyone Gonna Bully Your Ass#but then he talks with the female lead Iwasaki My Queen for like. five minutes and is pretty much over it a day later#and THEN THIS happens Another day later and. im sorry it had me laughing i dont know why#LIKE AGAIN IT'S BECAUSE HE'S SO WISHY WASHY BUT ALSO HE JUST STRAIGHT SOCKS A GUY#cause mate was saying slurs and all. his anti-homophobia arc we love to see it dude said Im No Longer Homophobic#ok bye we have pink pineapple and i wanna eat the pink fruit
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The autistic experience is sending off my CV to a potential employer and being annoyed that I have to ~sell myself~ while also feeling personally compelled to be ~truthful~ but not ~arrogant~ regarding my abilities while there are fuckers who outright lied their goddamn asses off in order to get into Congress and saw zero consequences for their actions
#just autistic things#autism#neurodivergence#I wish I could just lie like that.#well not really. kind of pride myself on being truthful actually...#I just wish that 'embellishing' your cv wasn't pretty much expected/demanded of jobseekers#and I wish I didn't have a complex about not coming off as arrogant bc people in the past have been mad about me#recognizing that I have actual measurable competencies and strengths#and now people are all 'know your worth' and I'm coming from a culture that literally demanded that I NEVER acknowledge my worth#ok maybe I need to calm down. I'm just venting bc I'm stressed about the job search.#careers#jobseeking#jobseekers#job stuff
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WHAT KIND OF WARMTH ARE YOU?
comfort jacket
ㅤyou're gentle, thoughtful in your kindness, and very careful when you're helping others. your warmth is obvious only to some— but to them, it is life-saving. you don't think of your warmth as much. really, it feels like the least you can do. but you are providing something that no one else can. there are people out there that will not be helped by reckless optimism. but you see love as a risk, and when you take it, you will heal others (and yourself) in ways you didn't see as possible. you do not believe that people are good. really, you don't believe that you are good. they can be. you have been. no one is better than you at offering warmth to people who are difficult to love. i am asking you to offer that same warmth to yourself. even when you think you don't deserve it. especially when you think you don't deserve it.
tagged by:ㅤ@gnarledbite ♡♡
#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ dash meme.#was not expecting this one to hit as hard as it did omg#this is literally byan's warmth ok - selective and only given to some (usually those they can relate to in some way); not thought much of;#careful and at times surprisingly gentle; something they really need to extend to themself more than they do#like. that's it. nailed it.#god and the amount they heal once they actually let themself love is insane. the way they've even helped others to heal in the process...#i'm so feral over it. it destroys me in the best way possible i stg
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"i didn't want to talk in front of archie and the others .... as it turns out, peabody had a lot to say. the bounty on your pal Archie, it's not just on him. it's on anyone who's with him or is helping him. which means there is a target on your back now too jughead. it's the same if he goes back to riverdale. archie's dad, archie's friends, everyone is at risk. which is why you got to cut him loose."
"im not just gonna ditch archie, mom! he's my best friend."
here's how j/archie can still win
#no more gunshots you guys gotta hear me out on this now😭😭#im laughing so much but this is good scene . anyway !!!!!!!!!!!#archie tells veronica that hes not alone before he leaves (but doesn't mention jug 🧐) he repeats that fact actually. and then#him and jughead walk and walk for days and archie tells jughead to go back#that he can handle himself and jughead is like nah bro... ur literally going to get yourself killed. ANNNDDD jughead saves his life again.#untying him in that farm. keeping him from making a big mistake like killing hiram. ough literally always looking out for him smh#shows up in toledo with his mom . hoping & expecting them to be safe and penny finds him and penny says no one is safe with archie#AND HE STILL DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE HIM. as he should. W friend.#but fuck. Still. his own mom is telling him to get rid of archie and archie ALREADY FEELS FUCKING BAD that he got so many people involved#and that he's putting people in danger and causing them stress and grief and pain etc etc#also he's overhearing this conversation#literallt went on a road trip alone together subtracting the car. that's a fanfic trope right there ok sorry i had to say it#jughead didn't have to come with him. he could have given him supplies directions instructions and sent him on his merry way and stayed bac#in ri//verdale but he was worried ab him#it's true and real and i'm embarrassed that i typed all this about riv//er dale
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if i may complain for a bit about something that doesn't actually matter and can be easily avoided. god i hate fics that baby-fy chuuya
#yeah yeah i know just don't read them w/e. there's no tags to avoid these unfortunately 😐#it kinda feels like a fanon of fanon. it's so far removed from his canon self even if some core elements are there.#why write him like a 15 y/o even as an adult. and the thing is. even when he was 15 in canon he wasn't this childish. c'mon.#a lot of the most popular skk fics have him characterized like this and man I'm tired. look how they massacred my boy.#ok complaining session over. i feel like i sound kinda mean. sorry abt that.#it doesn't actually matter that much just a bit frustrating when it keeps happening when you're already a couple hundred words into a fic#edit: i lied I'm not done complaining i gotta turn this into a rant bc ppl misunderstanding my favorite character online is a crime.#childish was the wrong word for me to use ig it's more like. innocent.#girl. bestie. he has been part of criminal organizations quite literally since he remembers himself.#he is not some sweet uwu baby who's a bit of a tsundere or w/e. he's got genuine reasons to be angry yknow. he's been through shit#and he's not innocent? he's in the fucking mafia lol we literally see him kill like 20 people in 5 minutes at 15 y/o.#he's not naive either???? he may not be dazai levels of smart but he's still capable of figuring things out himself????#like he did figure out rimbaud's thing by himself. he's not stupid or slow. he wouldn't be a mafia executive otherwise.#and that's also the reason he can't be naive like... he is in constant danger after all#and idk watering down all this^ for aus is boring and turning him into practically an oc but it's even worse in canonverse#or literally any au where he suffers the same amount as he does in canon. bc then what's your excuse for watering him down.#it feels like forcing him into this very clear cut mold you see in every media when he is literally. not that.#no one in bsd is honestly that's part of its charm imo. they all subvert your expectations of their character archetypes#i think this is why it's making me so angry bc it doesn't feel like just misunderstanding the character but also the whole story. in a way.#am i going too far? perhaps. i dunno. i do feel less Dirty after letting out this frustration tho.#complaining session is now officially over okay. yes. sorry. i don't mean to offend anyone sorry if i sound mean at any point.
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sorry for Ranting On Main™️, I just need to get this out of my system, feel free to ignore
#would literally be sooo cool if my family could stop being patronizing/borderline condescending#treating me like a child is getting old very fucking quickly. my mom always jokes how glad I'll be once I [finally] move out and it's like.#''ok but what if it wasn't a joke'' (internally anyway)#telling me what to do & not do with MY money like I'm not a fully grown adult is so......#like yes I've made financially questionable decisions before. but never before fighting myself for DAYS on whether or not I really want it#stop treating me like I'm 5 challenge (impossible)#and also acting like I'm lazy just bc you don't see me doing uni stuff like.. idk I work my ass off for those grades but go off I guess...#even then. I'm allowed to take breaks. I'm allowed to lie down and nap when I have headaches that refuse to go away. I have FEELINGS man...#being ridiculed for expressing said feelings & being sensitive is really Not It either like newsflash all this does is make me hate u <3#I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg but#shit like this is a big part of why 1. I haven't come out to anyone irl & 2. I refuse to voice my 'neurodivergence theory' out loud#because I know I wouldn't get taken seriously!! I fucking KNOW it!! and it sucks!!!#tw toxic family#tw negativity#(trying to not fall into the mindset of ''but others have it so much worse''....)#I don't particularly expect/want pity from anyone btw. I'm just really frustrated and don't want to bottle it up anymore
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1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...
🧔🏻♂️ queerqueg Follow
the franklin expedition is dead as hell
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan
10,558 notes
👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all
#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh
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🎨 asherbrowndurand
Just painted this
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ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927
RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed
🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow
HERITAGE POST
📝 shakespearesforehead Follow
How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol
82,170 notes
🌄 loyalromantic Follow
poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/
#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect
6,884 notes
🎀 thefopdiaries Follow
I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling
📜 bartlebi-thescrivener
i think i hauve consumption
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🐋 whaler4life
They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME
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🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow
I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense
#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo
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🤵🏻♂️ byronicherotournament Follow
🙈 butchbronte Follow
Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep
🙈 butchbronte Follow
I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily
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👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon
#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting
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👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH
#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....
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⭐️ newamerican
Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol
#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure
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just tried biking all 13ish km of the road i live on right now since the weather is decently nice and funny enough
1. I've known this road since I was like 4
2. I've never seen the other half of it till today. im 27
and oh my GOD i was not expecting to be hit back to back with four steep as SHIT hills. Like I saw the first one and am like "Oh! What a nice little challenge, it's like the hill I bike up when I come home from town" and then RIGHT a couple feet after is ANOTHER and im tired but rev myself up like "I do it every day I can make it" and for a while it's all chill until i see the biggest hill of my LIFE going right down into a four-way pass and am like "oh my god"
Anyways I get pass that and there's an even bigger one right on the other side and knowing how dead it is, i decide to risk it and ZIP right through there but this bastard is so big and im so tired i have to hop off my bike like "yeah. im turning back after this" and i did 😭 i didn't make it y'all...... I had another 6km to go why is this road so fucking LONG
#gu6chan's musings#like i always wear deodorant ofc but this is one of those times I'm REALLY like 'thank God I'm wearing deodorant' my face was RED#i should not have worn my sweater though 😭#literally just laying here ass naked in bed trying to muster the energy to put on a new set of clothes im kaput#lowkey reminds me of when i visited my father at the property i grew up in whenever i went to the US and like#no one lived within MILES of that place; but he never allowed me to walk down the road?? there was one REALLY long forest trail he did allow#me to walk a little ways down though and that was the only place outside the yard i was allowed to go so i spent ALL my time there when i#lived with him (as much as i could without him batting an eye at least lmao) and always wanted to see what the end of the trail led to#anyways flash forward to now; I'm visiting him and am like 'omg i should get to the end of the trail now. i bet i can reach it' and take my#leave. skip forward a fucking HOUR and I'm three forks in the road down and expected to be home like 20 minutes ago#finally i come across a solid Y branch (till then i was just talking the straightest path so i wouldn't get lost) and am like ok. how much#further does this go bc if it's far ill just turn back here. ladies and gentlemen if i kept going i wouldn't be out of there for another#hour and would have wound up in some bumfuck cemetery in the middle of the woods in a completely different town#i never even HEARD of this town before#needless to say I turned back for the day lmao
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Ok, the boss is no more! There were some super stressful moments but surprisingly we all survived o:
My animal companion got hit with disintegrate, but we had hero points to make him avoid it. I would cry actually, because disintegrate means no resurrection x_x
The war is prevented! At least this one, because Cayden's party is right at the center of a much bigger one just starting. Today we saved the country. Cayden is trying to not even save the whole world, just maybe slow the whole thing down and save as much people as possible...
#majek says shit#I have the diamond for a raise animal companion spell but it can only be used if you have a body and even then there are restrictions#and Kela wouldn't even know about it until after the fight because she got trapped between a wall of force and a stone golem?#or a stone Big Humanoid Fucker idk what that technically was but it would've killed me pretty fast#and it all was in an area of supernatural darkness emanating from the powergamer's character...#which interfered with so much of everyone else's actions and we even addressed it before the session that it's a bad idea to cast this#but its ok because HE will be able to see through it and HE won't be targeted easily:))))#he also almost ended the encounter in the first round of proper combat...#by using mechanics so outrageous but technically ambiguous enough that our GM can't deny them by using only RAW...#and he prefers to settle arguments by going as RAW as possible...#and it wasn't a problem until now when we have a player who exploits to an actually unbelievable extent#we shared our character sheets online yesterday and I finally saw his... still have no idea how the character works#because like half the stuff is custom and missing from the app#he has 9 AC in the app and allegedly 32 AC before buffs...#and the GM says the math checks out but 1. nobody saw that math besides him and 2. so far he trusted that player without too much questions#and only recently he actually realised he's been manipulated multiple times when me and some others started dismantling that players actions#I so hope this was the last session with that person#the worst thing is I think he's an ok guy when I'm not playing any kind of game with him#and I understand different people find enjoyment in different aspects of games - his being figuring out how far he can go with the rules#and there are whole groups of people who like to play like that and enjoy the challenge of making the most broken “build” possible#but the rest of the group are not that kind of people. maybe some like to have fun with researching what's possible#but it's never the purpose of the game and these things dont find their way into the actual game#I'm actually considering the possibility of just leaving the campaign if he stays there... I know I whine a lot in the tags#about different players that get on my nerves for various reasons. it sounds like I'm never happy about anything#but our group is big and we play together as a friend group in 4 different campaigns now (I'm in 3 of them)#and every one of these smaller groups has it's issues. sometimes it's the characters not matching and sometimes different expectations#or interpersonal stuff that can be worked out. this here is not a group composition issue because the powergaming attitude is everywhere#it's impossible to talk casually between sessions and confronting the guy leads to like actual temper tantrums#literally said “the fuck do I care if the party dies I'm not gonna be useful anymore” after the GM gave him feedback to maybe ease it up#he never says things like that when the gm or me are present but we still get info. he just can't be confronted by the gm like that
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i keep remembering i'll be going into emergency medicine and i am filled with both so much joy and so much fear. like.. woah dude.. i was not expecting to get this far. you mean i'm really gonna do that? you mean i am given the privilege to help people like that? you mean i am given the chance to be in a position to serve my community and the people around me in such a tangible way? you mean the kid i never got to be would be happy to see me now? like woah.. hey there.. let me sit down for a second that's a lot.
ignore the essay i wrote in the tags. it's a night /humorous
#personal#<- might start tagging these. ok to rb/like/reply/etc it's mostly for me or filtering haha#going through a Lot right now#and. it's weird#i usually don't feel much. at all#my feelings have always been super duper diluted. especially positive ones.#anger is probably the Only feeling I've ever felt like. raw. burning. etc#hope is such a weird feeling#like. it's dull. but it's there#i don't think i have ever felt happy. like in a “my brain literally does not have the capacity for it” way#but i think this is the closest i have ever gotten#when i reflect on where i came vs where im going#its weird#you mean.. there's life after surviving??#nuts.#and it's like. weird. because i should be really really sad right now#for personal reasons#but it's like.#i don't know#it's weird#everything's kind of numb but not really in a bad way. per usual. but it feels like there's a glimmer of something different#you spend you're whole life in a dark tunnel waiting to see the light that you start to wonder if it's even real#if “light” is just some made up story. like the ones parents tell their kids to get them go ready easy at night#but you trudge forward despite for it. because if light is not real#then#well#maybe the concept of light itself is real enough as is#through the pursuit of happiness you will find happiness#sorry idk why im so. poetic tonight im kinda having a moment#tl;dr I've spent my whole life expecting to die imminently and I'm shocked to see that things can‚ do‚ and are getting better
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Me: *starting to feel slightly anxious about my fic*
My brain immediately:
#i talk#fic talk#IT'S A CONSTANT CYCLE#idk man I start feeling anxious that this fic isn't as shippy as people might expect then I'm like#''Ok but are you writing it for the public? No. You're writing it for you''#That being said I AM anxious that the premise of the fic isn't as much of a focal point as I intended it to be#agh#I take a long time to update things because I'm constantly reworking revising and tweaking things to be better#Always baffled at writers who can do weekly or even daily uploads. I could not do that#anyways regardless of anxiety at least this chapter features Ramon a lot and that's always a good thing#I literally just need to sit down and force myself to work on it rather than picking away at it like I have been doing
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If you think it's a personality trait or a good or even a neutral thing to hate children just fucking block me. You're pathetic and you don't even deserve for me to bother to argue with you. Enjoy your weird obsession with vilifying a group of people with next to no neurodevelopment or life experience I guess. The rest of us will be here having a real personality, a life, and being tolerable to be around.
i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.
#Put me in a room with literally a million crying babies before one childhater#I have sensory issues due to my autism and low empathy from ASPD yet I can still recognize they deserve kindness and grace while they learn#like I am the exact type of person people expect to be a childhater but nope I have basic human decency#it's not hard to be annoyed with the noise without being a complete douchebag#if you can't handle being annoyed without whining why the hell should they be expected to handle their first experiences suffering quietly?#Sit in the corner and think about how goddamn ridiculous you sound#because it is the overgrown version of the same tantrum you're complaining about if not worse#and the childfree crowd is not who I'm talking about here#it's ok to say I don't think I could handle having kids or even just not want them for any reason#but not wanting to raise a tiny human is a lot different than despising them in their entirety#little kids are some of the most understanding and gentle people I've had the pleasure of meeting#nothing like working in a preschool to restore your faith that humanity isn't all bad#we get corrupted somewhere along the way because those kids were so kind to literally everyone#I miss working there and if my disabilities ever become manageable to the point where I can work I would love to go back to it#childhaters will never understand the purity of a kid who struggles to focus on a book spending 10 mins to find the PERFECT rock to give yo#or how much time and effort and care they put into the art that childhaters call just scribbles#sorry to rant it just breaks my heart because enough interactions with childhaters can break kids' spirit and self esteem#and there's no explaining to them the concept of people who hate because they have nothing better to do in life#so they think they did something wrong or worse that they are just bad and deserve that treatment#mibingo addon#mibingo vent#vent in the tags
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