#(I thought it was funny to add

[versasfanficwastedump]

Dad Things that I am positive Bruce Wayne does:

watches random Facebook videos at top volume in the living room with no headphones

asks “Who?” after any of his kids mention a friend’s name. bonus points if that friend has been around for like ten years.

“I was talking to Wally and—“ “Who’s that.”

falls asleep watching tv but complains that he was “just resting his eyes” when someone changes the channel

“B, I’m hungry” “Hi, hungry” (classic)

asks “has your car always made that noise?” when riding in his child’s car. also frequently asks if they’ve gotten an oil change recently

calls kids by the wrong name

“Dami-Tim-Ace-JASON”

whines that he doesn’t want a cat in the house but is obsessed with Alfred the Cat and often found taking naps with her on his chest

can parallel park like a mf

tells the same stories over and over, each rendition slightly more exaggerated than the last

[ctrlzxoo]

kid ivan may be smaller than kid till, but what if ivan is the fastest kid in the garden

[quirkle2]

a labor of love about milk. there are other things too i guess

[edupiii]

based off this picture i stumbled across on Pinterest

[radiance1]

"Do any of you know a John Constantine?" Said the boy standing inside the summoning circle with a briefcase, stance casual, relaxed. "I've heard he works for the uh-" His eyes roam over the every person in the room, past the cultist standing in front of him, past the unconscious ones, before finally stopping on both Batman and Superman before snapping his fingers. "Right, the Justice League and I know those two are apart of it, so I'm assuming the other ones are also in or affiliated with them."

Slowly, a few of them turned to look at Constantine, who took the lull to light himself a smoke and then walked forwards, hands in his pockets until he stopped by the head cultist and barely batting an eye he uppercuts them, knocking them to the ground and reaching for his smoke with a hand. "That's me."

The boy's eyes roamed up and down Constantine's form with a single minded, unnatural focus that threatened to send a slight shiver down Constantine's back that he suppressed. This continued for about a minute, before an expression of disgusted disappointment crossed the boy's face.

Constantine raised an eyebrow. "Got a problem with me, kid?"

The boy grimaced, before reaching an arm forward all too quickly and pushing the briefcase into the warlock's chest. "I-It's for you." The boy sounded far too pained to utter such words, as if speaking to Constantine physically harmed him while averting his eyes.

Constantine grabbed hold of it with his other hand, looking down at the case. "This is...?"

"Open it and see." The boy said, stepping back to the farther end of the circle. "Now, if you excuse me. I shall take my leave."

With a flash, the boy left, and the circle quieted down from a bright glow back to just a drawn circle over the floor.

"Constantine-"

"I know Batsy, 'debrief first, open it later'. Don't need to tell me once." Constantine turned around, and over to the group of heroes, disregarding the unconscious body on the floor and walking over it.

===

"Sooo," Flash began. "Anyone wandering what's in the case?"

Batman glanced over at him, and Flash brought his hands up and shrugged. "Look, we were all wondering it."

"I wonder as well." Chimed in Wonder Woman with a smile.

Small murmurs of agreement rang through the table, and Batman looked stared at all for a good, long and hard minute, before moving his gaze over towards Constantine. Everyone else did so as well.

Constantine light another smoke, uncaring for Superman's small grimace, and placed the briefcase on the table and opened it.

Whatever the Justice League was expecting, it was not for an avalanche of letters to spill from the case, knocking Constantine and his chair over and slamming open the rest of the case.

From the ceiling rained letters, and Batman took a hold of one, staring at the expensive looking paper that glowed with a slight green shine, carefully and expertly sealed with a seal in the shape of a heart.

'From Vlad Masters, to John Constantine." It read.

"It seems our shifty warlock found himself an admirer." Wonder Woman's smile took on a more playful edge.

Below an ever growing pile of white of red, Constantine despaired over the loss of a perfectly good cigarette.

[phantom-0-writer]

prompt 02: tim’s birthday present

Tim sat in his empty house at the empty dining table. The table was actually quite large; it had enough seats to sit at least 15 people. But there was just Tim there. 

His parents had promised and sworn up and down that they would come back in time for his birthday. He had everything planned out. He picked out the birthday cake, put on the candles, decorated, ordered his parents' favorite foods, his parents' favorite movie for movie night, popcorn the likes. But that morning, just when Tim was double checking to make sure everything was ready for the most perfect birthday ever, his parents had called to tell him that something really important had come up, and they wouldn’t be able to make it. Tim figured it was better than last year, at least they called this time. 

Tim stared down at the cake, the candles lit. He had heard online that people would make wishes on their birthday cake and blow it out. Tim thought that was a weird thing to do, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. 

What should he wish for? It would have to be something special that he doesn’t already have. Tim thought for a long moment, the candles bleeding into the frosting of the cake. 

A brother. 

Tim closed his eyes and put his hands together like he’s seen the other children to do in the cartoons. And Tim wished for a big brother. When he finally wished hard enough (whatever that meant) he opened his eyes and blew out what was left of the candles. 

Tim waited. What exactly was he supposed to do now? In the cartoons, everyone would celebrate and cheer and the birthday boy would open his presents. There wasn’t anyone to cheer for Tim, or any presents for him to open. 

Suddenly the house shook, and the loud sound of a crash sound came from the backyard. Quickly, Tim did the sensible thing and go check out what the noise was. That's what the characters always did in horror movies. 

In Tim’s backyard, there was what looked like a weird space ship that had crashed into his backyard. There wasn’t any fire or anything, but the spaceship looked pretty wrecked. Getting closer, Tim could vaguely make out that someone was inside the spaceship. Looking around, he saw what looked like maybe the handle. Tim couldn’t really tell. 

When Tim put his hand on it and tried to open it, something poked out mechanically and pricked his finger. He flinched back instinctively, caressing his finger tip.

“Recognized: Danny Fenton. System Override.” A robotic lady spoke. Who is Danny Fenton? As if to answer him, the space ship opened its hatch, and inside was an unconscious black haired teenager. “System Malfunctioning. Please Assis-” The robotic voice spoke again, before getting cut off as if the power had died. 

Suddenly, Tim remembered his wish. A big brother. 

This was Danny Fenton, and he was supposed to be Tim’s big brother

----

When Danny woke up, he found himself in a very soft plush something. Something that definitely wasn’t the Spector Speeder. Alarmed, he sat up quickly to find that he didn’t recognize where he was at all. He also didn’t recognize the weird kid that was staging at him from two feet away. 

“Hi, I’m Tim. Timothy Drake.” The boy introduced himself almost business like. 

“Uh, hi Tim.” Danny responded awkwardly. “You got any idea where I am?” Danny sat up properly, moving the blanket (?) off of him and turned to face the weird and kinda creepy kid. 

“You’re in Drake Manor. Which is where I live.” He answered again. 

“Ok…ay” Danny nodded thoughtfully. “Any idea how I got here?” Truthfully, Danny hadn’t really been expecting an answer, but he still got one. 

“Because I made a birthday wish to have a big brother.” He answered in the same way he had answered the other question, very matter-of-factly. 

“Ok- Wait. What?” Danny asked, doing a double take at Tim. 

“You’re supposed to be my big brother, right?” Tim was starting to look a little hesitant, and as weirded out as Danny felt he couldn’t help but feel bad about the whole situation. 

“Where are your parents, Tim?” 

“There not home, because they had really important things to do for work.” 

Danny nodded. “Do you know when they’ll be back?” 

Tim shook his head. “They were supposed to come back today, because it’s my birthday. But they said they couldn’t make it.” 

Well, shit. Didn’t that sound awfully like Danny’s birthdays before he had given up on his parents showing up. At least he had Jazz. This kid looked like he was alone. 

Not liking the silence, Tim started fidgeting again. “So, are you gonna be my brother, then?” 

And what was Danny supposed to say, No? Besides, if he was really causing problems being in this random universe, then Clockwork would figure it out. 

Bonus: 

Danny sat at Tim’s dinner table, the kid looking at him radiating in excitement, each with a plate of stupid expensive pasta in front of them. “You said your name was Tim, right?” Danny started thoughtfully. Tim nodded, drinking up everything Danny said. “Well, first course of action as you, big brother. I need to give you a nickname.” 

Tim’s eyes sparkled at the prospect. “Like what?”

Danny tapped his chin exaggeratedly, “Hm… Tim, Tim.” Turing the name around while he absentmindedly twirled his fork between his fingers, Danny wondered what he should come up with. Suddenly, in a misplaced strength, Danny’s fork flew out of his hand. 

Before Danny could even say anything, “I’ll get you a new one!” Tim offered quickly. Getting up from his chair, his foot got tangled behind the leg of the chair and Tim fell quietly on the floor with an oof. 

Danny laughed at him. “You okay, Timbers?” He asked, getting up to check on the boy. 

“Yeah, I like Timbers.” Tim said, a bright smile on his face despite the blossoming bruise on his arm.

------------

table of contents

[dizzybevvie]

the girlroth agenda... it spreads (for @bread-squid-uwu)

[thegreatyin]

ffxiv as a whole is like a ghibli movie. not in the way people usually describe ghibli movies like they're just peaceful and cozy and light-hearted but like. in the way it's a post-apocalyptic world and an active apocalypse story on like a dozen different levels and it's also all about society rebuilding after the apocalypse never quite reclaiming what it used to be but making something new all the same. and also it's about how gay catboys are equivalent to nuclear missiles

[stinky-kiddd]

Bruhh when my wallmark gonna be like this... 💔

[karmicpunishment]

atsushi starts taking some college classes and meets some friends and one turns out to be one of kunikidas former students

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

this meme was made for him

[nihilmachina]

Out of control meme redraws strike again. This time with tragedy.

[itslilacokay]

told community id post this here later (its been about 10 hours)

[dromaeo-sauridae]

big cave post

you like caves? no? im showing you anyway. you hear cave and probably think of like, a video game cave. maybe a minecraft cave with axolotls? while i have my gripes with axolotls in caves, this is about the caves themselves. so here, lets get started:

number 1, lod cave in thailand. now, i could do a whole posts about JUST caves in thailand, but here's your first taste of caves from this area. this is a karst cave, formed by water trickling through soluble rock like limestone. it's what most of the caves on this list are going to be. it's one of the most common types of caves. if you've been inside a cave, it was probably a karst. very cool! i particularly enjoy the man shaped stalagmite in the middle (joke, thats just a real guy)

number 2, ellison's cave in georgia, usa. featuring a drop over a thousand feet deep, this one is pretty high on my bucket list. this is what's called a chute, formed by waterfalls cascading downwards. not recommended for people with a fear of heights! if you watch jacon geller, youve probably heard of this type of formation when he talked about krubera (not on this list, sadly)

number 3, mammoth cave in kentucky, usa. one i've been to! mammoth is the longest cave system in the ENTIRE world, that we know of. another one the jacob geller fans are familiar with. i would love to go back someday, pictures dont convey the magnitude of this place. they also used to host church services in here. well worth the visit

number 4, han son doong in vietnam. the LARGEST cave in the world! wait, didnt i already list that? nope, while mammoth is the longest and is massive in its own right, son doong trumps it by having a ceiling 660 feet (200 meters) high. it has stalagmites the size of skyscrapers. its one of the many caves in southeast asia to have its own rainforest system. a bit of a hike to get there, but another i desperately want to visit someday.

number 5, fingal's cave in scotland. though not record setting, its one youve probably seen before. or, maybe my perspective has been skewed as someone who looks at a LOT of caves. ive seen this exact picture more times than i can count. its a sea cave formed from our good friend columnar basalt. upon further research, apparently its also known for its natural acoustics. the more you know!

number 6, grotta azurra in capri. that photo isnt edited! only accessible by boat (and laying flat on your back to get through the entrance) this place looks ridiculously magical. i dont really have much to say about this one, i just think its really cool.

number 7, domica cave in slovakia. this one was brought to my attention by an anonymous asker (if youre still here hi) and i am in love with it. just an absolutely gorgeous cave with some of the most beautiful formations ive ever seen. just look at it! augh! the tiered pools arent something ive seen in any of the caves ive been to and theyre captivating. i love caves.

number 8, ending it off with a bang. here's the gloup.

[smeddiemunson]

Gareth notices first and as soon as Gareth has a thought he has to share it.

They’re at Hellfire (now hosted in Mike Wheeler’s armpit of a basement) having just finished a long combat when Eddie declares it time for a break and without any further preamble dashes up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and calling dibs on the main bathroom. 

The others are taking a bit longer to get to their break. They all stand like they’re in some kind of synchronised swimming competition and all reach up in unison to crack the various bones that need to, heaving out groans and mumbles about shitty chairs. 

“So,” Gareth says as he rubs his fingers in his eyes. “Eddie has a crush.” 

Jeff collapses back in his chair to burry his face in folded arms with a groan. “I can’t do this again, Gare-Bear.”

Gareth wrinkles his nose at the nickname, and mentally curses his mom for using it around his friends. They’ve never been able to let it go. 

“Wait, what?” Dustin asks. His head is bouncing between Gareth, Jeff, and Grant, eyes tracking over their faces to see if they’re just trying to fuck with him. As if Eddie’s love life wasn’t already tragic enough without the added fun of trying to bother some kids with it.

Grant nodded sagely. “Unfortunately, it only gets worse from here.” 

Mike, who had been half way towards the stairs, now joins in. “What gets worse? He’s being normal Eddie, or like, as normal as Eddie can get.” 

Gareth shares a long look with his bandmates, all seemingly coming to the same conclusion. These kids were here to stay, that much had become clear after the Spring Break/Eddie in a coma Saga, so they could be let in on a few Eddie secrets, not the big one, never the big one until Eddie told them. These were more secrets about Eddie that Eddie was completely unknowledgeable about. 

“You remember the bartender at The Three Brothers we spoke to to find out about the curse?” Gareth says, somehow becoming the voice for the older members of Hellfire. “Did you notice the way Eddie described him?”

“He talked a lot about his hair?” Will offered quietly. He was new to Hellfire so Gareth didn’t really know him, but just from the way Will played his cleric, he could tell that he was a damn sight more observant than his friends. 

“Exactly!” Gareth pointed. “That is Clue 1 in the ‘Eddie Munson Has a Crush’ textbook. He gets so hung up on that one thing that he likes the most about who he’s crushing on, get ready to hear a lot about the NPC’s hair. Clue 2 is that when he comes thundering down those stairs in a minute and realises we haven’t actually done anything with our break, he won’t be shitty about us taking extra time. He just gets nice outta nowehere.”

“Eddie always hates when he has to wait for us though!” 

Jeff finally pulled his head up from his arms. “Just watch, and it’s the one good thing that’s going to come from this crush, so make the most of it.” 

The four boys all gave each other looks that seemed to be conveying a whole conversation. They seemed to come to the same conclusion just as Eddie, as Jeff predicted, thundered down the stairs, skipping the last one so he could jump to the floor and theatrically clap his hands. 

“Who’s ready to get fucked up by what I have planned next?” He asked, not even noticing the way the rest of the boys hadn’t moved from their places stretching next to the table. 

“Sorry man. I still gotta go to the bathroom,” Lucas quickly said before Dustin could start grilling Eddie about his crush. 

Eddie shrugged with a smile. “No worries, Sinclair. You gotta go when you gotta go, right?” 

This was particularly offensive to Mike, who when he first joined Hellfire had been forced to squirm in his seat for over an hour while Eddie threatened to kill his PC off if Mike left the table to use the bathroom. He turned his gobsmacked expression to Gareth who could only raise his eyebrows in a kind of ‘told you so’ gesture. 

Lucas, to his credit, didn’t let on that he was also gobsmacked and rushed up the stairs. Will and Mike followed him quickly, stumbling out an excuse about getting more drinks. Eddie being amenable was seemingly still too new to let them make the most of it, the Corroded Coffin boys had at least been through this three notable times before.

“Get me a coke while you’re up there, please?” Eddie called out after them. He kicked up his feet to rest on the edge of the table, crossed at the ankles and rocked back onto the back two legs of his chair. He turned to the Corroded Coffin boys. “I’ve been thinking about arranging this song, not our usual style but I think it could sound totally metal if I did it right.” 

“What song?” Jeff asked carefully. 

Grant caught Dustin’s eye and mouthed ‘Clue 3′. Dustin nodded as if he were mentally taking notes, which if Gareth knew anything about the kid, he probably was. He took to the puzzles Eddie laid out for them with more gusto than anyone else. 

Eddie closed his eyes and brought his hands up in front of him as if he were tenderly cradling his warlock. His fingers worked over imaginary frets. “Dancing in the Dark. Springsteen.” 

“That’s Steve’s favourite song,” Dustin blurted out, clamping his hand over his mouth when Eddie’s fingers paused in the air. 

A slow smile spread over his face. “Is it?”

Gareth turned to his best friends to see the expression he wore mirrored two times over. 

Holy shit. 

Eddie was crushing on Steve Harrington. 

(part 2)

[magnus-glitch-archive]

Sure, doing God's work, but which one's? 👁