#(I have no idea what tag to use for this series sorry)
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Miscommunication
Rodimus x Human Reader, Drift x Ratchet x Human Reader
Summary: After Rodimus tried looping you into something you really weren't into, you sought out your other partners to complain about his reveal of character.
Word Count: 1,128
AN: NSFW suggestive talk, no outright smut. Also hi this is my first tf writing soooo lmk what your thoughts are, i love comments. I'm already working on a reader insert series and wanted to start with a few one off bits. Enjoy! tagging valveplug just in case.
Drift looked up when you entered the medbay, his greeting dying on his glossa as his field just PINGED with the waves of displeasure coming off you.
âJeez⌠what's got you all wound up, huh?â He straightened his backstuts as he stood up more from the desk he leaned over, messing with Ratchet temporarily set aside.
You hissed a rush of words under your breath as you strutted in, something that he couldn't TELL what was said but he understood it wasn't very polite. Even the older medic bot lifted his head to address you.
âI only managed to make out Rodimus in all that. What did our oh so brilliant captain do to piss you off?â
 âI thought this whole time we were leading up to something⌠fun. But it turns out I misread every step. He thinks he's BETTER than me.â
âHe's the captain, he is better than you.â
You whipped your head around to glare at Ratchet. âBetter enough that I deserve to clean the dirt off his kibble with my tongue?? Because I feel that's pretty fucking degrading.â
Both bots stilled, and the medic's âWait, what-â was interrupted by Drift stalling briefly and talking over him. âThat doesn't sound at ALL like something Roddy would say.â
âI thought so, too.â You huffed before your attitude melted into something a bit sadder. âI mean⌠I've been flirting with him for so long, and he's been receptive towards it. You even told me he said he likes me. So I don't know where this came fromâŚâÂ
Groaning, you put your face in your hands, and idly Ratchet patted your back while working (and half listening).Â
âI didn't even think that would be a thing with you guys, making someone tongue-polish your like, plating and stuff.â
âThat sounds like something Megatron would have had Starscream do back in the day,â Ratchet groused, making Drift mock gagging.
âI'm going to purge my tank, don't make me think about those two like that.â A shudder wracked the ex âcon's frame. âEugh. No it's not really a thing with us. IsâŚis it a human thing?â
âAhâŚâ The question made you pause to think. âNot⌠really? I mean, kind of. It's usually an extremely exaggerated form of punishment from someone who wants to uh⌠show superiority while demeaning the other. Though it's shoes or boots for us, not armor spikes. The idea is to polish the dirtiest article of clothing with their tongue - or glossa - so they feel... sub-human. Though there's always exceptions, and some people are into that kinda thing as like, a kink? But it's really notâŚwhat I'm looking for.â You wince.
âŚ.Ratchet paused his comforting as he listened, before turning to look you over. âHold on, back up. Armor spikes⌠kid, what did Rodimus say to you?â
Drift leaned over the autobot's shoulder, studying you closely. The samurai looked both confusedâŚand disbelieving.
Alright, fine then.
âHe said âYâknow⌠Maybe you can put that glossa of yours to use and⌠clean my spikes with it.ââ They let out a grumble. âI didn't peg him for the degrading typeâŚâ
The two mechs went oddly quiet and still.
âSpikes⌠plural?â Drift pressed.
You thought back more, mulling the memory over, of the captain of the Lost Light leering down at you with that heated smirk and his thumb on your cheekâŚand shook your head.
âNo, sorry. Just spike.â
âPFFT-â
You looked up to see Drift looking away, one of his servos clamped over his intake as he cackled. His limbs shook and he held onto Ratchet to steady himself. The medic was looking away, face buried in his hands. His shoulders shook.
He was also laughing at you.
âWhat. WHAT! HEY?? HELLO!!â
âKidâŚKid, Sp..spike is another term we have for plug.â Ratchet mumbled out. Still laughing. Very much laughing at you. His words caused Drift to wheeze and bend over, his vents stuttering as he cackled.
âHe was asking you to interface finally and you totally missed it..!! Oh Primus help me, what did you say? What did you say, tell me. Please, it has to be good.â
Your face got warm as you thought of the fact that you had finally gotten Rodimus interested enough he would make a bold pass. Your face was hot when you realized you had totally missed his signals. Your face was practically on fire when it clicked just how badly you fumbled the whole interaction.
âI⌠I said Ew, no thanks. And came here-â
âTHAAAAHAHAATS THE WORST THING YOU C-COOOHOULD HAVE SAID!!! AAAHAHAGHA OH PRIMUS-â
âFrag me, kid you did not-â
There was no saving you. Both mechs were now openly laughing at your misery. Your face buried in your hands you mumbled out a weak âHow was I supposed to know!â that only made Drift start losing it all over again.
After some time (Ten. Minutes.) the two much larger beings had settled, Ratchet returning to his work and chuckling on occasion while DriftâŚpestered you over your absolute dropping of the ball.
âI can't believe this. I'm almost scared to flirt with you now because you may not get it!â
âDriiiiiftâŚ!â You whined, the cheeky samurai squeezing your hips. âLet me go, I want to jettison myself out of the airlock.â
âNot a chance!! I mean I want to make sure if I tell you I wanna have you eat my valve from the back that you aren't going to mistake it for me, say, threatening to mug you or something.â
Your face was bright red. âDrift!!â
âOr, oh man, if I tell you I want to slot my plug between your thighs, maybe you'll think I'm wanting you to-â
âRATCHET! DRIFT IS BULLYING ME AGAIN!â Complaining loudly, you squirmed in Drift's hold while eyeing his Conjux, displeased and humiliated and hoping the medic would scold him or something.
Ratchet barely spared you a glance with his optics as he continued his inventory count. He was literally busy and not paying attention to you two.
âBetween words from attractive mechs, manhandling, and something almost too big to go in, you enjoy being bullied, and all of us here are very aware of it,â drawled the grouch's response.
You stared at him, mouth dropped open in shock and WORSE embarrassment at how he called your bullshit out. All while Drift began cackling all over again.
â
You stared up at the habisuite door, staring at the imposing metal barrier of captain Rodimus Prime's personal chambers. Your stomach twisted in knots nervously, your palms somewhat sweaty as you raised a fist and knocked hard, twice. Mentally, you prepared your apology as you heard shuffling and the soft clank of pedes across a metal floor.
God, you hoped the mech thought stupid was hot.
#transformers x human#transformers x reader#drift x reader#ratchet x reader#rodimus x reader#valveplug#tf x human#tf x reader#reader insert
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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" âł "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin charlie#charlie magne#hazbin edit#requested#hazbin hotel pilot#that's entertainment#charlie#my gifs#god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice#specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to#there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant#the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced#gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out#how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like#''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL#see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical
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LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD || HACKEARNEY + ALTERNATE UNIVERSES [1/?]
A girl walks into the woods, and a wolf walks out.
The village has a tradition: a girl is chosen as a sacrifice to the Wolf. The Huntsman leads the Chosen into the woods and keeps vigil at the entrance.Â
The girl does not come back. The Wolf stays away.
This is how it has always beenâuntil now.
#hackearney#travis hackett#laura kearney#the quarry#travis x laura#hackearney AU gifseries#a concept series for AUs i may never write lmao#idk how many i'll actually make since i'm fairly limited with what i can use for travis lol#but i have a very tentative idea for a historical one at least#at some point#anyway you can interpret the gifs and the caption however you wish but it was inspired partly by for the wolf by hannah whitten#and obviously diverges quite a bit from the original fairytale but i think you can spin it multiple ways#i've always loved the idea of red as both the girl and the wolf; and wanted to keep laura's wolf transformation in#(which she does! in that music video! but the makeup was a lil too cheesy lol but i actually loved that video lmao)#this started out as a ~no plot just vibes~ thing but then i went on a little mini worldbuilding spiral for this#maybe i'll make a post about it. maybe i'll write it at some point?? who knows#which. these tags are already too long so i won't get into it lmao but! sources!#1&2: mariah scary and the ghoulish cauldrons 'werewolf valentine' MV#4: red riding hood (2011)#sorry the quality is not great on these gifs i did my best#sometimes i make things#wait sorry 3: the trailer for red light bc i couldnât think of another gif to use for him lol
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Thinking about how Bodies (2023) uses "representation" in such an intentional way. Every one of the four protagonists has an aspect about them which heavily affects how they relate to the era they live in. And how all four of them are police despite or even because of that.
Hillinghead. Gay in the Victorian era. He's defensive enough about it that he actively tries to arrest Henry when he finds incriminating photographs that display Henry's own sexuality. Hillinghead can't afford to let anything like that slip because what if it reflects back on him? Reflects back on his family, who he does care for dearly. He joined the police to hide and he plays the part for years until he realises what he may have missed out on.
Karl. Jewish in the 1940s. Changes the name he goes by to a name that sounds more stereotypically English, not because it's something he wants to be called, but so that he blends in. He hasn't been to the synagogue in years but he still knows where it is and he still returns there when he's not sure where else he can go. He's personable, but ultimately, not particularly trusting. And yet, he bonds with Esther almost immediately - a shared background goes a long way.
Shahara. Muslim in the 2020s. Is heavily aware of how race and perceived religion make a situation more dangerous when the police are involved. Is strong-armed by superiors into trying to approach Muslim witnesses because "only she is in the position to" and they know that she ultimately wants to help. She can't afford to refuse when she knows the consequences if she doesn't.
Iris. Disabled in the 2050s. This is a time where it's implied the world has largely left aside conflict relating to sexuality or religion. But despite mobility aids being available in her time, they're only available to those who "contribute". She has internalised the idea that she must sacrifice her autonomy to the state in order to live a life similar to an abled person, and that she must be thankful for this opportunity. Her brother had the same choice as her though, and he chose differently.
#I sincerely doubt this is a particularly original take because the show itself seems pretty intentional about it and I'm several months late#but eh I wanted to get my own thoughts before I went to go see what everyone else thought#bodies#bodies 2023#kinda also wanted to go into their chara arcs more but thought I'd keep this fairly non-spoilery#oh. and also like. this show is the opposite of copaganda. I kinda wish 2020s and 2050s were able to go more into it but#the prevalence of the surveillance state was so easily felt in both of those times. sth sth london one of the most surveilled cities#bodies netflix#(I have no idea what tag to use for this series sorry)
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if i don't play the glitched attraction right now i will die
#sorry fur thinking it's the best f.naf game when it's just a series of escape rooms using pre-existing assets. do u still think i'm hot /j#f.naf FAN game is what i Meant to type but i ran out of characters in the tag oops#it has all three of my corpse rabbit guys what do you EXPECT#i want to play it and try to break it <3 spiff and backseat are bad influences on me /jjj#ive already encountered One (1) game-breaking glitch but i don't remember How i did it JDNJDNSKASMO#I WANNA TRY TO REPLICATE IT THO#i just have no idea How To and also it's possible it got patched bc they're actually super diligent abt the glitches#for a game called glitched attraction it has very few glitches JDNFNSNDNANS#idk im rambling now waiting fur it to download#i should also get breakfast i guess#but my house is Dark and my roommates are at Work and there are Ghosts here#talking.txt
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do you believe me now? | 8
it's the morning after. spencer reid suspects youâre left with some doubts after losing your virginity to him. he has to figure out whyâwhich is hard when you're keeping secrets.
series masterlist
this series is 18+ warnings/tags: fem!reader, blood related to losing virginity (dramatized for the drama duh), super vague allusions to the BAU being hungover, mild blasphemy if anyone even cares, pondering god bc am I really a fanfic writer if I donât get a little religious w it, emily AND hotch are here and nobody knows why pls don't pay attention to that bc we are imagining like season 11/12 spencer and I'm inconsistent w who is unit chief in this series apparently, spencer slut lore, spencer emotional wounds lore, Spencer is a traumatic situationship survivor a/n: DADDYS HOMEEEEE (me and dybmn not spencer) anyway missed these little guys and am happy to be writing for them again!! idk what my upload schedule will becoming back to this but pls lmk what u think of this part, I have no idea how you will respond but I'm being brave and ily
Friday morning Spencer comes into the office fifteen minutes late (he tried his best), in yesterdayâs suit (everything in his go-bag had been too wrinkled), hair messy (no doubt from your fingers), coffee cold (heâs exhausted) and overall, in an excellent mood.
The rest of the team isnât faring quite as wellâSpencer gathers they stayed at the bar celebrating Derekâs birthday a lot later than he had. It shows through sallow skin and dark circles and the grimaces he receives on the way to his desk that are probably supposed to approximate good morningâs.Â
Honestly, he doesnât mind the dull moodâhe doesnât need the teasing and the prying questions that would be sure to come if his co-workers were at peak performance and were able to put together his unusually perky demeanor and disheveled appearance. At least Prentiss doesnât appear to be paying him any mind. Sheâs always the one who can read him like an open book and has no shame in doing so aloud. Echoes from years of, âso who was the lucky girl, last night, Reid?â Still ring through his mind and itâs like he can feel her finger prodding at his side.Â
The Emily of it all makes him smile, though the rest of the memory leaves a metal tang in his mouth. Back in those days, there were sometimes a lot of girls, but even then he was consciously aware he wasnât necessarily doing something he enjoyed. He spent a lot of time, actually, staring at his bedroom ceiling, psychoanalyzing himself. Repetition compulsion. The insatiable desire to repeat or reenact emotionally painful experiences. Maybe he thought if he could teach himself to subsist off of emotionless hookups, he could in some way heal from his experience with Elle. Though, heâs hesitant to think of it now as healingâitâs not like he didnât know what he was doing when a few nights after she said I donât feel the same Iâm sorry he opened up his front door for her. Itâs not like he didnât know what he was doing every time after that. So, maybe heal isnât the right word, when one doesnât have the right to be injured. Or when the injuries are, in a manner of speaking, self-inflicted. At the very least he could tell himself that this time around, meaningless sex was a choice he was making for himself. Spencer hates when things just happen to him.Â
But youâyouâre different. You were a complete surprise. At first, a cute and unexpected complication. After a few painful and short-lived attempts at real relationships, Spencer decided he was simply not to be trusted with emotional intimacy of any kind, including that which inevitably develops from physical intimacy, and would resign himself to a life of celibacy. He tried not to like you, but you were just so damn likable. Magnetic, to use a trite and perfectly honest turn of phrase. All that to say: he doesnât regret you at all. There is no filter of putrid shame or anguish over his memories of last night.Â
Just you. Perfect. Starlit. Glowing softly around the edges like youâre not even real.Â
I love you I love you I love you. A hymn with no melody. You, always reminding him exactly why he is decidedly not a man of faith. At least, not in the typical sense of the word.Â
How God became the idol and not Mary is lost on him. Thatâs why, Spencer supposes, tapping an eraser on his desk, marriage and sex were forbidden for so many ecclesiastics. After all, if they knew what it was to love a woman, specifically to love you, he doubts theyâd feel like spending much time in the pulpit. Love. Humans had that long before they had any gods. Itâs primeval. Itâs the most natural manifestation of devotion and worship. It will always have come first. Isnât it a better kind of religion when a man realizes he can kneel in front of a woman rather than an altar?
A heavy hand falling on his shoulder jolts him from his theological musingsâwhich are in all practicality useless. Whatâs that saying about blasphemous thinking on the FBIâs dime? Right. There isnât one.Â
âIâm scared to ask,â Morgan says as Spencer jumps slightly in his chair.Â
âWhat?â He mumbles, looking up from the document heâd only sort of been reading.
Morgan just looks at him, strong brows furrowed and a ditch between them, angles his head and glances to the side as if Spencer is missing the obvious. He almost follows Derekâs eye-line. When that doesnât work, Derek just says your name. Like your status is somehow in question.Â
âDid you two work things out, or not? It looked pretty bad when you guys were leaving last night.â
People often misunderstand an eidetic memory. Itâs not like things canât slip his mindâSpencer can actually be quite forgetful. Itâs made worse by the fact that last night at the bar feels like months ago. For a moment, he has no idea what Derek is referring to.Â
âOh. Oh! Right, weâright. Yeah, we, uhâwe worked it out.â Before Derek has a chance to read his face, no doubt as incriminating as his fumbled speech and an ill-timed throat clearing, he turns back to his paperwork. âThanks for keeping an eye on her at the bar. I appreciate that.â
Itâs quiet for a moment, and Spencerâs lips twist as he can feel the incoming inappropriate comment.Â
âIs that the same suit you were wearing last night?â Morgan quips, his wide grin audible. Spencer can practically hear the cartoon gleam of his friendâs bleached teeth.Â
âNo.â
âYou dog.â Derek is still smiling as he claps Spencerâs shoulder again. âWhat did you say to her that worked so well?â
Spencer clears his throat again and tries to look extremely involved in logging onto his computer, speaking quickly as if heâs beyond disinterested and canât wait for the exchange to be over.Â
âI donât know what youâre talking about. Iâm actually trying to work so if you wouldnât mind going back to your desk that would be great.âÂ
âUh-huh. Iâll let you work. But I see you, pretty boy.â
Spencer tries not to blush like a teenager as he refuses to look up.Â
Naturally the rest of the day is a slow descent into dread and madness as all those good feelings with which Spencer had started his morning begin to harden into something much worse, chilled by your lack of response to the text he sent you earlier. Which was essentially a rehashing of the note he left on your bedside table.Â
Maybe it was too much. It shouldâve been one or the other, but not both. Heâs overwhelmed you.Â
Okay, so maybe this is what religion is for. A last ditch effort when you canât talk to your girlfriend so you have to try talking to God.Â
But Spencer knows you, and he knows something is wrong. You wouldnât just ice him out so blatantly if everything was okay. He catches himself glancing up toward Hotchâs window to see if the blinds are drawn, and considers faking an illness to get out of work early and go check on you. But he powers through the remaining hour and a half that he is obligated to stay at work, he bounces a pencil between his fingers, drums at his desk, and gets nothing else done. As soon as 4:59 rolls around, heâs out.Â
Spencer can hear shuffling on the other side of your door as he stands in the hallway. A pot clatters. The walls hum with the rush of water through the pipes to your sink. He knocks, relieved that youâre okay and at the same time struggling with that weight on his chestâsomething cold that leans over his shoulders and whispers into his earâso she just didnât want to talk to you.Â
Suddenly all sound from inside your unit ceases. For a few long seconds, Spencerâs confusion only grows exponentially.Â
âWho is it?â You finally call, voice wavering. Also odd. Usually you just open the door.Â
âUm⌠Spencer?â
âAs in my boyfriend Spencer?â
He frowns, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly as he tries to decipher your sudden paranoia. âI hope so?â
The click and jingle of several locks precipitates your much-anticipated reveal.Â
âCome in,â you say breathlessly, more harried than usual and not giving him the tender greeting heâs selfishly become accustomed toâbarely even giving him a second to look at you. But he steps inside, watching on in concern as you do up every single lockâthe one on the knob, the deadbolt, even the chain. Is this really all because of his little comment last night about anyone being able to get in? He certainly hopes not. He didnât mean to terrify you.Â
When you finally turn, he takes stock of your appearance. Big hoodie, pajama pants patterned in little hearts. Hair pulled back hastily. Your skin is sort of dull where you normally glow. But youâre beautiful, like always. It always aches just a little bit to look at you. Spencerâs always been like that. Going breathless at a particularly good piece of art or pretty girl. Like yourself. Mostly you.Â
You quickly turn to hurry back into the kitchen. âI was trying to make dinner, Iââ
âHold on,â he interrupts, stopping you with a hand on your stomach that is so non-demanding itâs really mostly a suggestion. He tries to clear his head, though you make it hard. âYou didnât talk to me all day. Not that you have to, but⌠I was worried.â
You glance at the floor and mumble, âI lost my phone,â with so much embarrassment he believes youâre telling the truth. âDid you, umâdid you text me?â
Insecurity. Spencer knows well what it looks like on you. He softens. You werenât ignoring himâbut youâd been left in a vulnerable state without any ability to contact him or anyone. That couldnât have been comfortable.Â
âOf course I did.â He pauses to observe you. Still anxious. Still prepared to run at any second. Something, and heâs not sure what, did a number on you today. Maybe itâs sheer exhaustion, maybe it was the anxiety of not having your phone. But he has to figure out what it is so he can undo it. âWhat? Whatâs wrong?â
He watches your breathing pauseâwatches your eyes gloss over with tears and a frown contort your features. Oh, god. Heâs done something terribly wrong. Itâs been thirty seconds and heâs done something wrong.Â
âCan we sit down? I donât feel very good.â
âYeah. Yeah, we can. Whatever you need.â
You cast a baleful look at him and now he has to wonder what that means. Spencer sets his bag on a pulled out dining chair and follows you to the couch where you settle on opposite sidesâyouâre curled up in the far corner, hugging a pillow to your chest with your legs folded in front of you. Spencerâs heart is beating fast. He doesnât know whatâs going on with you and he canât figure it out just by looking and you donât seem eager to tell him.Â
Heâs exhausted all his typical ways of collecting information, and now heâs at a loss.Â
Eventually, the anxiety comes bubbling up.Â
âPlease talk to me,â he pleads. And you do. Almost instantly, like he stepped on some sort of landmine.Â
âI know itâs my own fault for not having my phone on me and not being able to see your texts, but it really sucks that I had to find out from my creepy neighbor that you snuck out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye.â
The whiplash is so strong itâs almost a broken neck. Spencer reels, frowning deeply as he tries to process your impromptu speech, the sudden confrontation. What creepy neighbor?
âIâŚÂ didnât. I went to grab my stuff from the car around one, but I came right back. I left at 7:30. You donât remember me saying goodbye?â
Your brow furrows, and your eyes dart over the design on the rug like youâre watching memories go by. He sees it in your eyes when you recall some hazy image of him holding your face, kissing your cheek more times than was necessary and whispering sweet things against your lips before he had to go. You shrink into the couch, clearly struggling under the combined weight of relief and embarrassment.Â
âI forgot. I thought⌠he saidâŚâ
A moment passes and itâs clear youâve abandoned the sentence. Spencer is concerned about this shadowy male figure who put malicious untruths into your head. He slides his hand under yours and twines your fingers together. Finally, finally you meet his gaze.Â
âSomeone made you believe I left without saying goodbye.â
And he almost wishes you werenât looking at him as more tears pool before falling down your cheeks. You nod, and donât make a sound.Â
âNo, honey. I didnât do that. Iâm sorry thatâs what youâve been thinking all day.â
âI was worried that you⌠or that I wasnâtâŚâ
His chest aches. Youâd woken up alone, no recollection of his goodbye, and without the comfort of even a text.Â
âYou didnât see my note?â
The way you look at him then is heartbreaking. Eyes wide and wet and sad, lip trembling.Â
âYou left a note?â
Murphyâs Law. Anything that can go wrong, will.Â
It mustâve fallen off the bedside table, or maybe he just hadnât positioned it obviously enough.Â
A lost phone, a missed note, and not even a memory of his departure. While none of these things are verifiably Spencerâs fault, he feels so, so guilty.Â
âI did,â Spencer says gently, scooting closer and pulling you into him, head pressed to his shoulder as you try not to cry, and he rubs your back slowly.Â
Your sulky words are muffled by his shirt. âI didnât see it. What did it say?â
âA lot of very nice things about you,â he whispers. Spencer thought maybe he could get away with giving you all the sincere compliments you canât accept face to face through a note you could read while he wasnât around. That way you couldnât refute them or stop him. It was a good plan.Â
He feels the sigh of relief leaving your body against his neck.Â
âI didnât know.â
âI know. Iâm sorry. Thatâs not⌠I shouldâve just stayed. This is my fault.â
You keep your cheek pressed to his shoulder as you speak.Â
âItâs not. You have a job. A really important job. You canât just call out whenever I want you around.â
Logically he knows youâre right, but he doesnât always think logically around you.Â
âI couldâve made it work. I couldâve come in late, or the team couldâve called me if there was a case, which there wasnâtââ
âSpencer, itâs okay. Itâs not your fault. Donât worry about it.â
He pulls back slightly, frowning at your tone. You do look relieved, much less plagued than youâd been when he arrived minutes ago, but something heavy still weighs you down. The burden of it darkens your eyes and dulls your expression. When he cups your cheek, you glance up at him, and then away once more.Â
He speaks softly. âIs that all you wanted to tell me?âÂ
Again he earns a moment of your eye contact, but itâs fleeting. He watches the words spin around your head as you try to figure out what to do with themâand then choose to remain silent.Â
There is in fact something youâre keeping from him.Â
Spencer hates to use work tactics on you, but he doesnât speak either, hoping that youâll feel compelled to fill the silence with the truth. Knowing how youâre not entirely comfortable with quiet.Â
And you try, lips parting and the sound delayed as you wrestle with something you clearly donât know how to talk about.Â
âI⌠my neighbor,â you say, frowning like you donât quite know why youâre speaking. âThe one who told me he saw you leaving in the middle of the night. He alsoâhe saidâŚâ
Spencer brushes hair away from your cheek with a thumb, stroking the high point in gentle passes as your words taper off. Now that heâs thinking about it, he did encounter a man in a dumpy robe standing in the courtyard and smoking a cigarette when he left you tangled in sheets and dozing contentedly to get his bag from the car. In fact, they rode back up to your floor in the elevator in mostly awkward silence. Spencer was sure his outfit told a storyâshirt untucked and hastily buttoned only partway, no belt, shoes barely tied, duffel slung over his shoulderâhe wasnât really expecting to run into anyone at such an hour, to be honest, but he hadnât particularly cared what this man thought of him, so it didnât cross his mind again.
Now he remembers.Â
Long night, huh? I remember those days.Â
It was an inappropriate comment, but given his job heâs used to ignoring those. Mostly his mind had been preoccupied with the idea of returning to you, who gave him such a warm and sleepy welcome when he climbed carefully back into your arms several minutes later that it was like heâd never known anyone else at all.Â
Now he resents that he hadnât said anything, he hates the idea that you spoke to this man and he said something to upset you and Spencer wasnât there. Usually he tries not a judge a book by its cover (metaphorically, of course) but heâs been around enough bad men to know when heâs looking at one. Last night he hadnât even been cognizant enough to realize they got off on the same floor.Â
âWhat did he say, angel?â Spencer whispers, incapable of being anything but soft with you at the moment. Even though he senses something a lot like a tide of preemptive anger rising in his chest, painted over with layers of anxiety and guilt. He shouldâve found a way to stay with you this morning.Â
You sniffle and let your head fall again, forehead resting against his collar. Instinctively his hand slides to the back of your neck and even at the awkward angle he finds a way to press his lips to yours hair. âCan we talk about it later? I donât feel good.â
If itâs making you this uncomfortable, Spencer really wants to know what passed between you and this neighbor. In fact, heâd be willing to bet a lot of your strange behavior this evening stems from something that occurred which you donât feel comfortable telling him yet. But he manages to bite back anymore questions. He doesnât want to make you feel interrogated.Â
âYeah, you mentioned that,â he says eventually, kindly, hand tracing down the length of your back and up again. âWhy donât you feel good?â
He doesnât miss the way you reach up to discreetly wipe your cheek. But he wonât make you talk about anything you donât want to talk about until youâre ready, and it seems like youâre already having a rough day. Which is not what he wanted. This is so far from what he wanted for you. Heâs cursing himself for how he handled this whole situation.Â
âUm, I just⌠I donât know. I feel⌠bad. Iâm sorry Iâm being so weird.â
âYouâre not being weird, honey. You had a hard day. Youâre having a normal reaction to an abnormal set of circumstances.â
You sit up, sniffing and wiping your tears like you can just make the whole thing go away.Â
âNo, I am. I am. Itâs all okay now, right? So I donât know why I feel like this. I donât know whatâs wrong with me.â
He watches helplessly. âNothing is wrong with you. Weâve⌠itâs been a big couple of days. Mostly good, but I think youâre probably really tired. Emotionally and physically.âÂ
You bury your face in your hands and nod silently. He still feels like heâs shooting in the dark, but youâre not entirely comforted yet, and itâs killing him.Â
âWhatever youâre feeling is okay. If this is⌠about last night, or this morning, or something entirely differentâregardless of what itâs about, youâre not going to be⌠in trouble with me if youâre having complicated feelings. And you can talk to me. But it doesnât have to be right now. We donât have to figure it out all at once, okay?â
You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, and for a moment, his words sink into silence. When you do raise your head, nodding, the evidence of your discomfort is all over your faceâreddened eyes, cheeks polished with wiped tears. But you take a deep breath and try to project whatever it is you think he wants to see.Â
The back of your hand is soft under his thumb as he sweeps it, as if he could draw forth more information that way. People speak when theyâre ready.
âIs there anything I can do?â He tries, all ramped brow and soft spoken.Â
Youâre looking at where heâs tracing swirls on your hand as you swallow and blink the last of your tears away.Â
âUm⌠you can say no, butâdo you think it would be okay for you to maybe stay again tonight?â
Spencer sucks in a breath, painfully aware that heâs about to let you down.Â
âI⌠I havenât been home in a week. Iâve been wearing this suit for two days straight and I donât think I would want to share a bed with me again until I shower.â He watches you wilt and lifts a hand to stroke your hair. âBut I do want to spend time with you⌠do you maybe want to come stay with me instead? No pressureââ
âOkay. Yes. Is that okay?â
Spencerâs brow knits. You seem even more enthused about the idea of going to his apartment, like now that the opportunity has presented itself you canât wait to get out. Maybe you have some sort of black mold problem.Â
âOf course. Do you wanna grab a few things and then we can go?â
âUmâI also havenât showered today. Do you mind waiting?â
âSure. Or you could use mine. With supervision, this time.â
Spencer is attempting to make a joke about your unplanned (and unmoderated) stay at his apartment last week after he leftâbut looking at your face now heâs wondering if he touched a nerve.Â
âLike⌠one at a time? OrâŚâ
He thought maybe youâd be more comfortable around him after last nightâand itâs not like he hadnât seen you naked before then, either.
âDo you wanna do it one at a time?â He asks gently.Â
Thereâs this sparkly sort of longing in your eyes that heâs seen before, but you tamp it down like always. Youâre so cautious. About everything. Even the things youâre curious about. Itâs sweet and a little sad.Â
âIâve never⌠showered with anyone.â
The corner of Spencerâs mouth twitches as he pushes hair over your shoulder. âI know. You donât have to. We could save like 100 gallons of water depending on how long your showers typically last, butââ
âSpencerââ
âSorry, sorryâI didnâtâI didnât mean it like that. Iâm not trying to pressure you. You absolutely can take your own shower. You can go first so you get the hot water.â
âNo,â you laugh, and itâs like a sparkling cloud of gold has settled around you, fractals bouncing off the shine of your cheeks and eyesâthe sound of your laughter, the look of it, is such beautiful relief he canât believe how good it feels, but it fades from you quickly. âIt sounds⌠I think I want to, I just⌠I donât wanna, likeâŚÂ do⌠anything.â
For a split second your veiled language mystifies him and then he realizes what youâre trying to say without saying. Something has changed since yesterday, when you brazenly referred to it as fucking, and today, when you canât even say sex. Heâs gotten as far as it being something your creepy neighbor said. Maybe. He needs to know what.Â
But thatâs not the topic at hand.Â
âWe donât have to. I didnât mean to imply that we would do anything like that. I donât expect anything from you.â
You swallow.Â
âOkay. I wasnât sure.â
About what?
He says your name. No response.Â
âCan you look at me, please?â
It takes you a moment, and your head raises like you might need some oil in your hinges, but eventually you manage. Spencer hopes the way heâs rubbing your leg is comforting.Â
âYou know Iâm never, ever going to make you do anything you donât want to do, right?â
To his horror, your answer isnât an immediate and resounding yes. Instead you look back down and cover his hand with your own, fiddling nervously with his fingers.Â
Eventually, you reply, âYeah⌠I know. I just thought⌠Iâm not sure. Maybe itâs supposed to be different now.â
âIt doesnât have to be. Nothing has to be different. Weâre still doing everything on your schedule, okay? And as for the next few days, at leastâI think it might be a good idea to take sex off the table altogether.â
Your eyes narrow and you hesitate. âWhy?â
âBecause I donât want you worrying about it. And I donât think it would feel good for you right now. I think there are things we need to talk about, but⌠weâve probably tried enough for a while, hm?â
You give him a shy nod and hum your agreement. For a moment he lets his hand linger on your leg and then pulls it back.Â
âOkay. Do you want my help packing a bag, or should I wait out here?â
âYou can wait. It should only take a minute.â You pause, halfway up to look pensive. âUm, Spencerâdo you think it would be okay if maybe I⌠if I stayed tonight and tomorrow? I justâI wanna get out of here, for a bit.â
He frowns but doesnât hesitate. âOf course. Can I ask why?â
âItâs justâŚÂ suffocating sometimes,â you call as you turn and hurry down the hallway to the bedroom. âFeels like my neighbors are on top of me, like theyâre⌠breathing down my neck, half the time.â
Sure, bigger apartments existâbut itâs not like youâre in a studio. And youâve never mentioned feeling that way before. That bad feeling is starting to come backâlike youâre not telling him something he needs to know. But is it worse to let you deal with it yourself until youâre ready to talk or to force it from you?
A few minutes later you return, a duffel of your own over your shoulder and full to bursting.Â
âSo Iâm an idiot. My phone was literally in the pocket of my jeans on the floor.â You drop the bag as you bend down by the door to pull on your favorite slippers. âOhâI think I forgot my charger, can you grab it? Itâs by my bed.â
Spencer of course obliges, and is secretly pleased to be in your room again, in the light this time, so he can see better. Itâs sweet. The pictures on the walls, the plants and the knickknacks and the sticky notes scrawled with messy reminders on every surface and the sweater hanging over the back of a chairâthe one youâd been wearing at the cafe all those months agoâit all feels so you. He wonders why the two of you donât spend more time here.Â
He lets himself linger for only a minute before remembering his task, but as he reaches down to unplug your charger, whatever dopey smile heâd been wearing evaporates. The sheets have been stripped from your bed, and he can see whyâthereâs a striking stain of dried blood, and several surrounding dots, soaked into the mattress. Not much, but enough to make him feel horrendously guilty. He cringes, imagining what it mustâve been like to wake up all alone to nothing but your own blood. Poor girl. Of course heâd noticed some, last night when he was doing his best at cleaning you up, but it had been dark, and he was exhausted, and he hadnât done enough.Â
âWhereâd your sheets go, baby?â He asks once back by the front door with his own bag on his shoulder, setting a gentle hand on your lower back and holding out your charger for you. You jump slightly, and he makes circles on your back, wishing there was something he could do to settle you.Â
âOh! Theyâthey got ruined. I threw them out. Itâs fine. I have others.â
So you didnât have enough energy this morning to walk a few feet to your shower, but stripping your bed, getting dressed, and walking down to the trash chute at the end of the hall had been top of your priority list.Â
You swallow as he undoes the locks and holds the door open for you, and pretend like youâre not doing surveillance to either side as you stand in the hallway, locking your door again like you canât get out of here fast enough.Â
Spencer casts a sidelong glance at you and wonders if youâre intentionally avoiding eye contact. He tries not to think like a profiler. He tries not to assign meaning to your actions, but he canât help it. He canât not notice.Â
He canât not worry.Â
And he canât not wonder what youâre not telling him.Â
-
part nine
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds smut#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfic
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đđđđ đ
đđđđđ đđđđđđđ, đđđ đđđ â
a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !
â OUR STARS : Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !
â REQUESTED BY : none
ââ WARNINGS : none
ࡠPIXIE'S NOTE ! : heya pookies I know it's been a while đđť but here I am creating another series to pay off the days I wasn't posting so much ââ forgive me my pookies đđťââď¸đ¨ we have holiday break so I'm going to grind a lot đ
NANAMI KENTO, as your husband !
⢠Nanami is the perfect standard for male wife, argue with the wall ââ this man knows how to cook, clean his home, does his own laundry, and mostly basic life skills that most men barely know which is pretty much a big turn on.
Nanami who always supports your decision as long as it doesn't have any bad effects in your life, he respects you a lot to whatever you do in your life ââ he thinks that just because you are married it doesn't mean he have full possession on you, though sometimes when you asked for his opinions about your decisions in such situations he isn't shy of what he thinks.
Nanami the type of husband who will always do small and big things for you even though you can do it yourself ââ carrying groceries for you, helping you in the kitchen, sending you to your work, helps you clean the house, and goes to the mall with you.
; he surprisingly took the shopping bags form your hands gently "your hands will get numb, this is pretty heavy." he says with his usual tone as he looks at you softly, you can't help but to smile in his small little gestures and gosh it's making her heart melt.
"thank you, kento." you say as you gave him a big smile and pressed a kiss on his cheeks making him grin.
Nanami who is being a worrywart when you don't reply quickly when you're out with your friends late night ââ
; kento | sent a message.
10:24 pm
kento : just got home love â¤ď¸
kento : what time are you going home?
11:04 pm
kento : love, tell me when you're going home I'll pick you up â¤ď¸
kento : is everything going alright?
kento : kind of worried, hope you respond soon đ
11:07 pm
kento : please reach out to me when you can so I can pick you up âşď¸
kento : I'm worried đ˘
you : love I'm fine sorry, we we're drinking just a tiny bit đ
you : you can pick me up now đđťââď¸đ¨
Nanami the type of husband to use cringe emojis but you appreciate it anyways, he barely use his phone or try to use emojis ââ headcanon : he learned using emojis from yuji or gojo đđť you find it silly and cute anyways.
Nanami who's phone is always filled with your photos and some sceneries with you in it ââ he doesn't like taking photos of himself that much though, he loves taking photos of you and look through it when he's not busy or when he misses you and he's at work.
Nanami when he learned how to use Instagram and he can't stop posting you ââ Gojo probably tried influencing him to use social media once and he was like no??? not until one time you took a photo of him during one of your dates and you asked him, "hey can I post this?" and of course he said yes and after that you kept posting him at some times which led him to the idea of posting you as well since he thinks you deserve it too.
; nanami.kento1990
tagged : @y/n.igcom | â¤ď¸
itaaa.yuji and 13 others liked this post.
gojosatoru | he knows how to use Instagram đŚ ???
gojosatoru | WHO TAUGHT YOU âď¸
itaaa.yuji | first post !!
nobaraaaa | parents đđť
Nanami who is nervous to talk about the future he wants with you â not totally nervous it's more like when you talked about kids you wanted soon with him he will always be like, "sure I also thought about that." with his usual tone but deep inside talking about it was his hyper fixation and he can't stop thinking about it.
Nanami who never in his life forget about giving you flowers in small or big occasions ââ
; "happy mother's day." he says softly with a grin in his face as he hands you a bouquet of your favourite flowers, "kento, I'm not a mother yet." you laugh as you take the bouquet from him, admiring the flowers for a second. He never fails to make you feel happy, "maybe soon?" he chuckles then makes his way to give you a hug. "sure." you laughed and happily hugged him back tightly, exchanging I love you.
Nanami who never left by your side especially when you are not okay, he will leave his work for a day or even weeks if you really need him by your side ââ he will never get tired of comforting you; if you need a shoulder to cry on? He's there. He can stay all day in bed with you to make you feel better ââ take you out in a vacation if that's what you really need or probably do every house chores just to make you rest.
â REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!
#nanami kento#nanami kento x reader#jjk nanami#nanami angst#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#jujutsu nanami#nanami smut#nanami kento angst#nanami kento smut#jujutsu kaisen smau#jjk smau#gojo x reader#choso x reader#geto x reader#jjk men#toji fushiguro#aoi todo
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â§.* #BABYVERSTAPPEN
synopsis: Max accidentally leaks the news of your pregnancy during an interview and he breaks the internet
before you continue- I loveee this # series so much!! if you enjoy then pls reblog and follow :)
â§.* the interview
â
â
â§.* Y/Nâs reaction
You hear the front door creak open, and your heart skips a beat. Glancing up from your phone, you see Max walk in with a cautious smile, holding a tub of your favourite ice cream like a peace offering. The house feels unusually quiet, a stark contrast to the bustling energy youâre used to when Max comes home.
âHey, love,â Max says, trying to sound cheerful despite the tension in the air. âI brought your favourite ice cream.â
You look at him, your eyes narrowing slightly. âOh, so now youâre trying to bribe me with ice cream?â
Max winces at your tone, setting the ice cream down on the coffee table. âI thought it might help smooth things over.â
You sigh, putting your phone aside. âMax, do you have any idea how many messages Iâve gotten today? Everyone knows now. Everyone.â
âI know, and Iâm really sorry,â Max replies earnestly, stepping closer to you. âIt just slipped out. I was excited, and I didnât thinkââ
âThatâs the problem, Max. You didnât think,â you cut in, crossing your arms and stepping back from him. âThis was supposed to be our special moment. Our announcement.â
Max reaches out for your hand, his expression pleading. You pull away, your disappointment palpable.
âYouâre in the dog house tonight, Verstappen.â
âCome on, Y/N, donât be like that,â Max urges, his eyes reflecting genuine regret. âI know I messed up, but I didnât mean to. I just couldnât help talking about how happy I am.â
Your resolve wavers for a moment, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. âItâs not just about the announcement, Max. Itâs about our privacy, our moment. You know how much this meant to me.â
âI do,â Max murmurs softly. âAnd Iâll make it up to you. I promise.â
You shake your head, though your expression softens just a bit. âYou better. But tonight, youâre sleeping on the sofa.â
Max nods solemnly, accepting his fate. âAlright, the sofa it is. But can we at least share the ice cream?â
You hesitate, then roll your eyes in resignation. âFine. But just the ice cream. Youâre still in trouble.â
Max smiles gratefully, relieved that youâre willing to share even this small moment with him. He retrieves two spoons from the kitchen and settles on the sofa beside you, careful to maintain a respectful distance, the mood swings were strong today. You sit together in silence, eating the ice cream slowly, each lost in your own thoughts.
As you near the bottom of the tub, Max suddenly has an idea. âHey, Y/N?â
You look at him, a spoonful of ice cream paused halfway to your mouth. âWhat?â
âI know I ruined our announcement, and I feel terrible about it,â Max begins earnestly. âBut how about thisâyou can be the one to announce the sex of the baby. However you want, whenever you want. Itâs your moment.â
Your gaze softens as you consider his suggestion. âI like that idea. But youâre still sleeping on the sofa tonight.â
Max chuckles softly. âFair enough. But at least weâre getting somewhere, right?â
You lean in and kiss his cheek gently. âYeah, we are. Thanks, Max. This means a lot to me.â
â
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend, landonorris and 1,357,147 others
yourusername guess the secrets out! (thanks max) baby verstappen we canât wait to meet you đ
tagged: @/maxverstappen1
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yourbestfriend congrats!! so happy for the two of you â¤ď¸
âł yourbestfriend canât wait to spoil her
âł yourusername thank you darling! đ
user1 hey, atleast max let you announce the sex đ
user2 congratulations!! youâre going to be the best parents đĽł
maxverstappen1 so excited â¤ď¸
user3 is max in the dog house? đ
âł yourusername yep.
â
â
â§.* the boys reactions
â Formula One Star Max Verstappen Accidentally Reveals Wife Y/N Y/L/Nâs Pregnancy During Interview
By: Sasha, Rumour Radar
In a hilariously unexpected turn of events, Formula One champion Max Verstappen has found himself at the centre of a viral moment after inadvertently revealing his wife Y/N Y/L/Nâs pregnancy during a live interview. The impromptu announcement has taken the motorsport and influencer communities by storm, and Y/N later added her own delightful twist to the news.
The Accidental Reveal
The incident unfolded during a press conference following Verstappenâs practice session. When asked about his expectations and what he was looking forward to in the new season, Verstappen, with his characteristic charm and ease, responded, âAnd for the baby to come too, the next seasonâs going to be busy.â The interviewer, catching the slip, pressed further, âDid you say baby?â
Max, realising his gaffe, was momentarily speechless. His face turned a shade of crimson as he stammered, âUh, I meanâŚuh, no? Y/N is going to kill me.â This candid and unscripted moment sent ripples of excitement through the audience and quickly became the talk of the paddock.
Social Media Explosion
As soon as the clip aired, social media ignited. Fans, fellow racers, and celebrities alike flooded platforms like Twitter and Instagram with reactions, congratulations, and plenty of memes. The hashtag #VerstappenBaby soared to the top of the trending lists, making it clear that the news had captured everyoneâs attention.
Fans and media outlets were abuzz with the news. In a move that was as swift as it was sweet, Y/N took to Instagram to confirm the delightful news. She posted a picture of a cake with pink filling and an ultrasound picture, accompanied by the caption, âGuess the secretâs out! (Thanks Max) Baby Verstappen, we canât wait to meet you đ.â
Maxâs unintentional reveal and Y/Nâs charming confirmation on social media endeared the couple even more to their legion of fans. Verstappen, known for his fierce competitiveness and composed demeanour on the track, showed a softer, more relatable side that resonated with many. His initial reaction, followed by Y/Nâs sweet Instagram post, painted a picture of a couple who are navigating the journey to parenthood with humour and grace.
Messages of support
The Verstappen household, already bustling with the excitement of the F1 season, is now set for even more joy with the impending arrival of their baby girl. The couple, who have been private about their journey to parenthood, seemed to embrace the unexpected reveal with good humour. Max later took to social media, joking, âLesson learnt! Next time, I'll leave the announcements to Y/N.â
As the F1 season progresses, Max Verstappen will have more than just his racing commitments to look forward to. The prospect of becoming a father has added a new dimension to his life, bringing a balance between his high-octane career and his personal life. This blend of professional and personal excitement has further endeared him to fans who now feel even more connected to his journey.
Despite the unplanned nature of the announcement, Max and Y/N have embraced the outpouring of support. A close friend of the couple shared, âMax and Y/N are over the moon about the baby. It wasnât how they planned to share the news, but theyâre thrilled with the love and support theyâve received and now laugh over the accidental reveal.â
Maxâs teammates and rivals have also expressed their congratulations. Lewis Hamilton, Verstappenâs long-time competitor, commented on Y/Nâs post, âHuge congrats to both of you! Youâll be the best parents!â Daniel Ricciardo, known for his playful camaraderie with Verstappen, added, âCanât wait to meet Baby Verstappen! Sheâs going to be a little racer for sure.â
The new season
The unplanned revelation has certainly added a fresh layer of excitement to the season. Media outlets have been buzzing with speculation about how the impending fatherhood will impact Verstappenâs performance on the track. Analysts suggest that the new family milestone might provide him with an extra boost of motivation and focus.
For now, the spotlight remains on the happy news of Baby Verstappen. The coupleâs playful and endearing approach to this new chapter in their lives has won them even more admiration and affection from their fans. As the countdown to their baby girlâs arrival begins, Max and Y/N are set to experience a whirlwind of emotions, balancing the thrills of Formula 1 with the joys of parenthood.
In the grandstands, on social media, and in the hearts of their supporters, Max and Y/N Verstappen are celebrated not just as a racing power couple but also as soon-to-be parents. The racing world waits with bated breath for more updates, eagerly anticipating the arrival of the newest member of the Verstappen family.
Stay tuned to Rumour Radar for the latest updates on this unfolding story and more celebrity gossip.
â
#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one smau#f1 smau#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen drabble#max verstappen social media au
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Chapter One: News Crashing
Poly!TaskForce 141 x Omega!Reader
The Omega Pack Plan Masterlist
Summary: A change in procedure around base causes you to spiral as your world comes crashing down. There's only one way out of this and it starts with telling the truth.
Words: 4.4k
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anxiety, Existentialism, Misogyny, Dismissive Attitudes, Angst, Rage
Mentions of: Medication,
A/N: Honestly, I'd been inspired by a few series (Standard Emergency Protocol and Pantry Solutions) I've read those and it caused me to want to write my own ABO COD AU, so I started this as a sort of funny fic awhile ago. I'm haven't entirely plotted out the whole story, but I have some ideas for the first few chapters. I was finally inspired to finish and post it because @cringeycookies liked the snippet I posted in a wip tag game. So thanks to everyone who inspired me, and a special thank you to @penelopepine for helping me with the dialogue and Price's reaction as I try to begin writing for them.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am," the nurse responds, "we're no longer authorized to refill suppressants of any kinds for any purpose." With a push of the empty orange pill bottle back across the counter in your direction, she offers you an ugly forced smile.
"Is there really nothing we can do?!" You complain incredulously, "Nothing at all? What am I supposed to do with this?!" Taking the emptied bottle into your hands, you stare at the nurse with widened eyes and a wild look.
"There is no 'we'..." she rolls her eyes in response, focus returning to the papers before her. "But if you insist, you can always bring it up with your CO, or the Base Commander." She scribbles something out on the page, but you can hardly focus when your world is virtually crumbling apart around you. "Now if you don't mind, some of us actually have work to do around here."
Still stunned, you can't help the way your breathing picks up as your heart begins to race. About a month ago now there was a base-wide meeting where they'd finally cracked down and implemented a new program the government is trying out: OPP. The Omega Pack Plan. While it's uncommon for Omegas to even be recruited into the military to begin with, such a thing does exist. Regardless, the Base Commander gathered everyone in the Auditorium for a presentation to talk about the new program and how the army would implement it into the troops. Luckily, considering you're on an elite Task Force, it doesn't apply to you. At least... it didn't.
"What the hell is this?!" You yell, tossing the orange bottle in his direction.
He'd heard the stomps all the way down the hall and smelled you coming, so he's neither surprised by your appearance, nor startled by the toss of the bottle. John swiftly catches it in his hand as he looks up at you. "What?" He inquires, finally glancing down to examine what he's caught. "A pill bottle?"
"Captain, it's empty! They won't refill it- I can-"
A groan tumbles past his lips as he drags a hand down his beard. "Look, Panther-" referring to you by your callsign, interesting move. "There's nothing I can do, it's over my head now. I wish I could do something, but I can't." Sitting back in his leather chair, Price places the bottle on the desk; a faint rap of the plastic hitting the wood is the only sound between you momentarily before you hurriedly shut the door.
Panic begins to flood your system as you're not sure how to handle this. It's your turn to freak out. You know how this goes, you know the story now; ever since they'd implemented and dispersed the Omegas into the troops, they'd started implementing them into the Task Forces, and now they have to do so with the One Four One. Fingers curling in and out of shapes as you try to process your next move, you speak before you can even begin to plan what you're going to tell him.
"I- I'm- I..." You're pacing his office now, the heavy gaze of your Captain upon you as you try to prevent yourself from hyperventilating. The thing is, you're usually good with pressure- really good. It's your job to be good. It's just... this is different. This is your life, your livelihood at stake, the livelihood of all your future generations to come.
A sigh resounds throughout the office before you hear the low timbre of his voice. "Dove," he calls out with a gentle tone, "I want you to take a deep breath for me. Alright?" With the calm and even sound of your Captain's voice and the assured look on his face, you comply. Exhaling the last of your breath, you close your eyes and focus in on the deep intake of air through your nose. With the parting of your lips you slowly release it before giving yourself a moment.
When you open your eyes he gestures to the seat before his desk, though you know he won't take offense if you decline. Hesitant, one hand finds its way to the other, wrapping around your arm as you listen to him speak. "Now, can you explain what has you in this state? I assure you that there's nothing that can't be dealt with." You want to trust him, you know him--John Price--your Captain. He's always had your back, always made sure you felt comfortable in the Taskforce, always made an effort to check on you after things got rough.
You nod. Licking your lips, you search his blue eyes as you tentatively take the seat across him.
"Whatever it is, we'll deal with it, alright? I can guarantee you that unless you're trying to tell me you're an Omega, nothing you say is going to shock me that warrants the amount of panic you're putting yourself through," Price chuckles. He's obviously joking, trying to break the tension with humor. Lips drawn upward into a small smile, the Captain stares at you expectantly.
"What if I am?" You whisper, eyes unable to tear from his visage as you try and gauge his reaction. Unexpectedly, silence fills the space between you and feels deafening in the small space. The growing comfort of his office these couple of months now feels like a cage you're forced to stay in, under watch, as you stare down your superior on the brink of a battle to the death. And that's what you do. His blue eyes bore into yours, skeptically shifting between your left and right as he seems to try and get a read on you.
All of the sudden you jump at the smack of his hands hitting the desk in front of him. He laughs at you.
He's laughing at you.
And you're sitting there with your guts spilled out, dread eating away at the pit in your stomach... and he's laughing. It feels like forever is passing you by as you stare at him in shock, this moment between the two of you frozen in time as nothing else persists.
"I understand what this was now," Price explains, still chuckling to himself as he shakes his head. There's a warm smile on his face that feels eerie considering the dire context of the situation at hand. "You got me! I fully believed you for a second there, too."
Eyebrows furrowing in dark realization, you can't help but stare at him wildly. "Wha-" You begin to question him and his line of thinking, but he cuts you off.
"This was all a prank, right? The bottle, the hysterics- you really outdid yourself, Sergeant." Leaning back in his chair, he props his ankle up on his other knee. "Because let me tell you, this was good. Better than anything Soap's cooked up in awhile. Did you come up with it yourself?" There's a cheeky grin on his lips. "Ah, I know you did."
Lips opening and closing like a fish out of water, you sit in the armchair across from him pale with a dazed look across your face. He doesn't actually think that this was...
"Well, with your little triumph in your pocket, I say we get back to work, yeah? I've got some new leads from MI6 that've just popped in." With that, the man stands from his desk and rounds it. "Garrick should be back around Tea. I'll see you in the Command Station then," he informs you. It's then that he passes by, a genial clap on your shoulder while he's at it.
Left stunned in silence, you can't help but grit your teeth, consequentially pronouncing your jaw as anger ebbs through your bloodstream. Breath getting heavier, you can't help but loathe the meeting tonight. Your Captain might be satisfied with the conversation, but all you feel is discouraged. He's abandoned you, left you alone in his office with a humiliating sense of betrayal and shattered trust. Almost like you hadn't just told him your biggest secret at all.
Punching the standard heavy punching bag hanging in front of you, you grunt, ignoring the pain that gnaws at your knuckles underneath the reusable hand wraps. Sweat builds on your brow as you continue to unleash your pent up anger on the gymâs equipment. How could he?! When had you ever pulled anything even similar to this? Never! And the fact that youâve only been on the team for a handful of months only exacerbates the abandonment youâre feeling right now. Heâs your Captain! Regardless of your feelings or the situation at hand, isnât he supposed to be there for you? Heâd promised from the get go to help you with whatever you need, and now the one time you go to him for aid it backfires in your face and leaves you without any sort of solution going forward aside from straight up telling the whole team the flat out truth, and God forbid! You canât even begin to fathom how thatâd go.
A pent up and frustrated yell almost akin to something of a growl emanates from you as you tear into another round of swift jabs and punches. Regardless of the situation at hand, youâve been trying to build up your upper bodyâs strength and letting out the anger youâd accumulated over this morningâs events seemed like a perfect opportunity to let loose.
The stretches and treadmill routine didnât take a lot out of you, but the weights, and now the punching bag definitely is starting to take its toll. Sweat beads at your forehead in rivulets that drip down the sides of your neck, down your scalp past your neck and between your shoulder blades. Tank top soaked in sweat, you breathe hard as your heart pumps rapidly in your chest. You wouldâve wound up here at some point or another tonight, but the Captainâs discourteous response certainly led to an earlier workout time.
While others sparsely litter the gymâs floor, you pay them no mind and vice versa. Itâs not uncommon for soldiers to be found blowing off steam or aiming to beat their highest reps on the weights. Yet, this gym is reserved for higher standing members of the Force, the gym on the far side of the base where there are less people, offices, and considering the regular army men train in the bigger gym closer to their quarters, itâs mostly other higher ranked officers in here.
âCaptainâs lookinâ for ya,â Markowski, another Sergeant that youâd come to befriend on base announces from the doorway, having poked his head in after leaving a few minutes earlier. He belongs to a different Task Force.
A groan tumbles out of you as you realize itâs already that time. Just as the door clicks shut, your phone chimes loudly with the alarm youâd set earlier going off. A few quick swipes of your fingers, you turn the alarm off and unlock the device, seeing a number of messages flood your notifications.
Kyle: You hear theyâve bumped up the timeline? đŻ
Johnny: â https://Tiktok/Shattered.Rat567 â Had me rollinâ đ¤Łđđť Gotta check it, Bonnie
Simon: You coming to the meeting or not? đ¤¨
Johnny: Where r u? Youâre usually first here đ Capâs getting peeved, watch out
Not looking forward to the inevitable mess of a meeting before you, you donât bother rushing to join the men. With a wash of your face in the womenâs locker room, a speedy bathroom break, and a grab of the items youâd brought with you, youâre heading for the Command Station.
With the time Price set the meeting, you won't get to eat dinner till afterward. You'd be lying if you said you weren't annoyed by this entire situation, your agitation from neglecting your hunger earlier has certainly come to bite you in the backside.
While you donât have time to respond to their texts, having set the alarm with only enough time to get back to your teamâs Command âstationâ albeit more like your headquarters before heading out. Speed-walking through the orderly halls with a haste perfectly common around here, you navigate with a well practiced knowledge. Though youâve only been here coming up on six months soon, youâre well acquainted with this part of the base.
Rounding the corner, youâre in the hall, close. Yet, the worry of being late lingers in the back of your mind and adds another layer of annoyance on top of your residual anger buried deep down from this morningâs situation. Youâd inevitably come up with your solution. Itâs not one you like⌠but itâs the only logical option. Another turn and youâre striding into the big garage-like room.
âNice of you to finally join us, Sergeant,â Price calls out to you. Lifting his eyes from the map laid out across your station's table, he glares in your direction.
âWhat took you so long?â Soap snaps, his brows slightly furrowed as he stares at you from the opposite side of the table, hands lazily wrapped around his vestâs straps.
A look at your watch tells you that youâre not even late, the meeting doesnât officially start for another minute! But you are usually waiting on them. Heâs got you there.
âYeah, youâre usually the first one here. Itâs not like you,â Gaz whispers under his breath as you sidle up alongside Ghost, Gaz standing diagonal to you right beside Price at the head of the table.
âFocus,â Ghost orders the men, his hands tucked in his hoodieâs pocket. You donât fail to notice the way he subtly takes a step further away from you as soon as they start talking again. Price goes back to talking plans as Gaz is questioning the circumstances of the information the Captain had acquired earlier when heâd had to leave the office.
âWhich is exactly why-â
A heavy exhale on your behalf leaves the men frozen as their eyes drift back to you. âDo you have something youâd like to say, Panther?â The Captain questions. Jaw clenched, you tear your eyes from the map theyâd settled on.
âWeâve got a big problem,â you announce, cutting off the Captain as you finally raise your gaze to meet Priceâs slightly widened blue eyes.
âWell, if you see something that needs changinâ then letâs hear it,â he responds. A âhmphâ follows as he crosses his arms over his chest and sits his weight back onto his heels.
âItâs not about the op,â you correct him. Tilting your head side to side you attempt to crack the kinks in your neck while standing a little straighter to appear more engaged and serious.
âAnd itâs more important than this? What weâre doinâ right now?â Soap questions, his hands dropping to rest on the table as he looms over it, eyeing you with frustration obvious in his irises.
âWhat is it?â Gaz asks, a quirk of his eyebrow garnering your attention for a split-second. Heâs genuinely asking, and there doesnât seem to be a hostility in his scent as he turns his attention to you. Then thereâs Ghost, who you donât even need to look at to feel his heavy gaze on you, waiting expectantly.
âActually, it is,â you argue with Soap, anger beginning to boil in your belly, the frustration and angst having been left to simmer all afternoon. âI canât believe you didnât take me seriously when I came to you earlier,â you turn your anger on Price. He looks taken aback by the outburst, something youâre not known for.
âDove,â he calls calmly, hands out in an attempt to pacify.
âDonât-â you bark, starting to raise your voice without realizing it. âI came to you in confidance! Trusting you when you said youâd be there to help me if I ever needed it! How could you?â Gritting your teeth, you donât realize how hard youâre breathing as your chest heaves with anger.
âWoah, woah-â Gaz sputters, âWhat-â holding his hands out to try and diffuse the argument.
âI let myself be vulnerable-â You continue to shout.
âIsnât this something that shoul-â Soap attempts to dissuade, backing down as he puts his hands out.
â-and tell you the truth, and-â youâre lunging for him across the table. Youâre held back by a massive hand on your shoulder. âYou laugh in my face?! What the fuck is wrong with you?â
You're suddenly pulled back, off your feet, and shoved into a metal chair that'd been nearby. Your Lieutenant is hovering over you, his cold eyes now tinged with a spark of anger as they bore into you scrutinizingly. There's the sound of commotion behind him, multiple voices overlapping, yet you can't see anything with that utter giant in front of you!
âDoes anyone wanna explain what the bloody hell is goinâ on here?â Ghost snaps. It's only then when the man steps aside that you can see where everyone is. With both of you in your respective corners, you simply glare at the Captain from over your crossed arms out in front of you.
âAre you bleedinâ kidding me, ya Scally?â Price grunts as he shrugs Gazâ hand off his shoulder. âYouâre still on about it! When w-"
"That doesn't explain what happened, Cap," Gaz interrupts, stopping him from going off and getting them nowhere.
He groans, running a hand over his face once more before composing himself. Everyone waits for an explanationâyou tooâheâd been the first to speak, and youâre curious to hear what he comes up with. âShe came into my office, bloody cryinâ, tossing me a pill bottle, muttering about, saying sheâs a-â
You donât dare let him finish, not wanting him to be the one to finally say it, exposing your truth to the team. "Omega. Iâm an Omega, â you finish his sentence. While youâre scared to meet their faces, you take a deep breath and force yourself to do so.
"Christ," Price curses, fingers coming up to pinch the skin between his brows as he hangs his head.
Ghost's stoicism is nothing unordinary, and in fact, is somewhat a comfort considering you'd expected nothing less from him.
Gaz looks stunned for a moment, eyes flitting about the otherâs faces before the serious look on his face morphs. Lips slowly drawing upward, you shouldnât be surprised when he starts laughing. "Yeah right," Garrick teases, "and I'm actually the Prime Minister."
Yet, it's not just him. The uproarious laughter from your right only adds fuel to the already burning flame as the two other Sergeants laugh like idiots. All as if it's some poor joke with no consequences to anyone's life, and yet... it's the truth. At the end of the day, it doesn't change anything. At the end of the day, your life is still in jeopardy and they're treating it like some joke. Unable to form any sort of retort, you simply blink; stuck in a stupor raw, stung, and with a dumb look on your face.
Soap, rounding the table slaps Gaz on the back, his face flushed red from laughing so hard. "Yer makin' my stomach hurt. God," he eggs the other on between his dying chuckles and attempting to catch his breath.
"You're really just gonna stand there and laugh?!" You finally burst. Anger surely must be coming off your scent in waves, but you don't care. Standing from the chair, you don't flinch as Ghost swipes his arm out in front of you in case you were going for the Captain again. There will be no physical altercation on his watch.
"She already pulled this on me earlier, mind you, and now what? You're trying to pull it over on the lads' too, eh?" Price goads you.
"And I was telling the truth! You're the one who said I was joking," you point out. The volume of your voice is lost on you, partially blinded by the fury bleeding out.
"I suppose you never did admit to it being a prank," Price reasons, fingers grazing his beard as he runs them over it repeatedly in thought. "But how do you expect us to believe that when you clearly smell of a Beta?"
"Even on the battlefield, after everything we've been through-" Gaz starts.
"After yer all sweaty from a workout, too. I think we'd notice, Pan," Johnny argues, illuminating a legitimate point of consideration.
"Oh please," you mutter quietly to yourself. Shaking your head, you can't believe they're really all being this daft right now. "Like you have heard of those Scent Spritzers.â
There are various perfumes on the market specifically designed to alter oneâs scent. Most use it smell like an Alpha when theyâre not, or an Omega when theyâre wanting to seduce an Alpha when going out. But Omegas posing as Betas was rarely heard of. Youâre more than sure it happens more frequently than people know of, they just havenât been caught. And in your line of work? Itâs scarce. People are thoroughly vetted, but⌠youâd been on suppressants for a long, long time. And a Beta perfume only perfected your hiding.
âDid you forget weâre Alphas, love? Weâd be able to smell you across the room if you were,â Gaz taunts. Thereâs a puff of his chest that makes his cockiness even more annoying than usual.
"You really want to be an Omega? Dumb yourself down to some weak fragile thing?â Johnny jokes, nudging Gazâ arm as he shakes his head.
âA doll who can get whoever she wants? Want to be nothing more than good for knockin' up and popping out pups?â Gaz adds on.
âAre you serious right now?â You test, seething under your skin as your hands ball up into fists. âHow could you say that?!â
âItâs what people say,â Ghost comments.
âNobody would want that and youâre out here lying about it,â Johnny pokes.
âWeâre only trying to point out the flaws in your little rouse, Pan,â Gaz says, a smile lighting up his features as he crosses his arms over his chest.
"And what if I was lying, hm? Would that change anything you just said to me? How you feel about Omegas?" You scoff.
âThis isnât about your designation,â Price finally speaks. Fingers still weaved into his beard, his blue eyes lift to meet yours. âI see what this is about now, but there's nothin' to worry about, Dove.â Your Captain takes on a softer tone and all of the sudden you feel yourself start to get emotional as a twinge of sadness, of the hurt bleeding through upon understanding makes you feel seen.
âI know it's intimidating, the thought of having your first unmedicated heat, but we have medics here. It's natural. Heats, ruts, we all have them. And, hey... at least you're not an Omega, right?" Whatever relief youâd momentarily experienced sinks back down in your gut with the speed of a rollercoaster drop. Itâs as silent as a stakeout, the only sound being peopleâs breathing. And the lack of yours.
It takes a moment to gather yourself, everyoneâs eyes on you with the serious topic change. While sex and the downsides to a designation are something discussed with the boys, youâd often been left out. And to your comfort. "You know what? I canât do this,â you retort. Backing from the group, you toss your hands up. âI guess you'll just have to wait and see," you bite back. With a whip of your hair over your shoulder, you head for the door.
The room is silent once more as everyone gawks. Youâd never reacted in such a manner, had an outburst like that⌠this is⌠certainly different, and something theyâre not at all used to.
âItâs because they took away her suppressants today,â Price explains. It might not have been something the group should be privileged to know. A private matter, really⌠but with the way you acted? He felt the men deserve an explanation, at least.
âThat makes sense,â Gaz responds quietly, eyes still on the door youâd gone through.
âThatâs no excuse,â Johnny counters, arms crossing over his chest with a scowl on his lips.
"Well... that went better than I thought,â Ghost comments with a shrug. âBack to the plan? We can fill her in later.â
#read tags for content warnings#topp#the omega pack plan#my writing#my series#poly 141 x reader#poly!task force 141 x reader#poly!taskforce 141 x reader#poly!taskforce 141 x omega!reader#alpha!141 x omega!reader#abo cod au#cod reader insert#cod men x reader#alpha!johnny soap mactavish x omega!reader#apex alpha!simon ghost riley x omega!reader#alpha!captain john price x omega!reader#alpha!kyle gaz garrick x omega!reader#simon ghost riley x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#captain john price x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#ghost x reader#gaz x reader#john price x reader
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Adam x third spouse part 3 Iâm begging pookie â¤ď¸
like a time skip to when Charlie appeared and proposed the idea
Benifit of the doubt Pt.4
Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader
Warnings: General Adam TWâs, a little bit sad for a moment but itâs ok. Gn! Reader! honestly thatâs about it I think?? Wow this is the first time itâs been this short in this series.
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.
Request Box: Open
Word Count: 4617~
A/n: So⌠itâs been almost 2 months⌠whoops. In all seriousness though Iâm sorry itâs been so long. Iâve just not been in the mood to write and a lot of stuff has been happening (which is finally over) and Iâm glad I could finally post this. I was also, if Iâm honest, nervous to post this, cause Iâm not sure if everyoneâs ready for the direction of the story. But I have made it clear that I wanted to do a time skip to the show at somepoint and decided to do it now! If you enjoy this, please let me know cause Iâm really nervous about (Not my words of affirmation love language coming out-) ALSO to the requester, I know you said part 3, but I used it for part 4. I got your request as I was making part 3 soooo my bad. Hope you donât mind tho <3 this will be the last part before the angsty finale (and maybe an epilogue)
Reblogs are always appreciated!
Anyways this was NOT beta read unfortunately, I tried to get as many errors out during the writing process so hopefully itâs fine. Also, thereâs probably some words I might have wanted to italicize or make bold that arenât, but Iâm too tired to care honestly.
Tags: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily @hcneyiced @v3r41ynn @ghostdoodlen @nxptvne-13 @ximenavc-che @edgyfluff @ericityyy @diffidentphantom @faimmm @slasher-whore69 @1-randomized @ozzersauce @fanlovedlt @alientee (if I forgot someone or you want to be added just tell me !!)
Days turned to weeks, to months, to years. Until eventually an eon had passed. An entirety filled to the brim with an indescribable happiness and love, threatening to spill over at any given moment. You loved Adam and Adam loved you.
To say it was all happiness would be a lie, there were some moments of sadness and pain, but all relationships were like that, even ones that lasted for eternity. You both always bounced back, apologize and moved on with a stronger bond than before. And you loved every second of it.
A lot has changed in these last few eons. Adam formed a band and is now the most popular guitarist in all of heaven. You both made new friends, some got into heaven while others were made there. Emily was one of these people to you, she looked up to you for being older than her. Youâve existed for almost all of human existence so, of course sheâd look up to you.
Adam had also made new friends, his band members, some officials in heaven, but someone heâs grown close to recently was Lute. You're really happy about his friendship with Lute. She seems like a strong and loyal friend, someone that can keep him grounded while still encouraging him to be more himself. Overall, you really liked her.
How they became friends though is something⌠less tasteful for you. All the way back when Heaven and Hell had their first meeting on what to do with the surplus of sinners in hell causing an uprising. Neither side came to an agreement in the end, you do feel partially to blame for that, but you still stand by what you did.
You never returned to any of the follow up meetings
But Adam did, surprisingly to you. In the end, you were called to talk with Sera and Adam. You were told of the agreement between Heaven and Hell, about the yearly âcleanseâ that Adam and his âExorcistsâ would have to commit. At first you were shocked, sure, you didnât have the best experience with sinners and especially with the rulers of hell, but was death really necessary? You didnât know what to say, and Adam clearly saw this.
âBabe, you alright?â He puts his hand on your shoulder rubbing his thumb in circles. You place your hand on his.
âYeah itâs just a lot to take in. Are we sure it has to be done⌠that way?â
Sera looked down in pain âtheyâre⌠uprising and are becoming to much of a threat to heaven.â
You sighed as Adam took you in his arms. Adam was fully aware that you donât share the same sentiment towards sinners as he does. His hatred towards the unholy souls down in hell was brought about by events that you simply cannot understand. Which he is thankful for, he never would want you to experience what he did.
âIf there isnât anything else we can do then⌠I guess we have no choice. But I donât want to⌠kill anyone, even if they are sinners.â
Adam holds you closer âYou wonât have to,â you smile at him, the now familiar flickering of his LED mask meeting your gaze before softly frown âyou ok?â
You nod, âyeah, justâŚI wish there was another way.â
-
That was it. Adam would take his exorcists down to hell to kill as many sinners as they could each year. Adam knew you didnât want him to talk about it , he kept it as separate as he could from your life. You did have to attend meetings regarding it, as one of the very few people to know about it, that was your duty.
You were fine with having that part of the job. You weren't sure if you could kill someone, sinner or not. So, for the countless years to follow, you played your part with every new extermination, attending meetings to deal with the repercussions of each cleanse.
Adam would also have to attend the occasional meeting. Which is exactly what today was. Sera had called you both in to talk.
âThank you both for coming. I have to inform you that you will be attending a meeting tomorrow.â
Adam groaned âWhat! Again? This is like the 4th fuckinâ one this week! Ugh fine! Where is it this time? halo city? Cherub towneâ Adamâs voice mocked the locations youâve both been sent to countless times with a high pitched voice. Even you have to admit that the meetings could drag a bit.
Sera's face turned into a slight grimace as she looks away from you both, she sighs and continues âThe meeting will be in⌠hell.â
âWhat!â Both your voices raise in shock
âSera, you know I donât want to go down there again!â
âWhy canât you just send the other fucking dipshits who know about-â Adam crossed his arms defiantly
âStop,â Sera raises her hand toward you both âno one wants to go there, and I know you both especially donât.â She pauses âBut you both are the only available angels who know of the cleanse that aren't busy. Please⌠I understand your disdain but heavenâs business comes first.â
âWho are we even gonna be talking to -Wait a damn minute- Donât fucking tell me we have to talk to him.â
âI'm sorryâŚâ You all sat in silence for a moment before Sera begins to speak again, âBut you both wonât have to worry about physically being there, we have prepared holograms for you, so neither of you would be in any danger.â
âI'll have an Angel escort you to the âmeetingâ room tomorrow, please, get some rest. Iâm sure you both have had a long day.â
With that, you and Adam went home, you were definitely not feeling well about the meeting, but the fact you wouldnât actually be there calms your nerves a bit. You had to be a little honest with yourself, hell wasnât really the issue for you, it was more so the people. Lucifer for one, that made you feel uneasy.
The next morning, you and Adam got ready, you had to motivate him a little. He was clearly not excited for this meeting like you. The entire way there he held you close, even though nothing could have hurt you it made him feel better knowing how close you were.
On the way there, you also got Adam some ribs, his favorite. You thought it would help his nerves a bit. Turns out, Lute was the one Sera assigned to escort you both there. That also made you both a little calmer knowing a mutual friend would be there.
The three of you waited in the âmeetingâ room for a while, about an hour. At first you thought the meeting might had been canceled or moved and you just weren't told. But then, Lute walked up to you both.
âSir! The Seraphim has told me to inform you that thereâs been a change in plans!â
âWhat? The fucks that mean?â Adam said stuffing a rib into his LED mouth
âLucifer wonât be attending the meeting, instead⌠his Daughter will be here in his stead.â Luteâs mask showed a continuous frown and stern expression as she spoke.
âDaughter?â Your voice shook a little. This was news to you, as long as youâve existed you had never heard he had a daughter while in hell. You look over to Adam to see His LED eyes were wide in shock but his mask turned into a smile as he sighed.
âPhew boy, we sure dodged a big ass bullet, huh Sweetcheeks?â He laughed as his arm pulled you closer. The whole thing caused you to join in. Suddenly your nerves felt a lot better than before.
âWhen should she be arriving, Lute?â
âWithin the hour.â
-
Adam scarfed down another plate of ribs as you all wait for the âprincess of hellâ to arrive. The entire time you just had to wonder what kind of person sheâd be. The daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. The more you thought about it, the more bizarre it seemed.
But suddenly your thoughts were interrupted by the sliding doors opening to the meeting room and a girl steps in, asking if anyone is there.
âShe canât see us?â
âYeah, Sera gave me a long ass lector on how this stuff works before we got here. Letâs see hereâŚâ Adam pushes a button causing a click to sound out as he says âSup!â
The girl jumps back and falls to the floor, shocked by Adamâs sudden appearance in the room. She introduces herself as Charlie. Adam offers her to shake his hand, only for it to go through.
âHa! I fuckinâ got you! Did you fucking see that? Good shit.â
You let out a slight laugh, as you sit and watch the meeting happen. Well, you say âmeetingâ but nothing about it seemed very professional. Adam for the last hour (you honestly wasnât sure at this point) had been talking about the most random of things.
You or Lute occasionally shakening your head yes or no while listening to him, while Charlie seemed quite tired already. Not that you could blame her, people who werenât used to Adamâs banter definitely werenât cut out for it. But You love every word that comes out of his mouth.
Eventually Adam decides that itâs time to get into what you all came here for. Pulling out a bunch of papers, Charlie begins explaining her solution to hellâs overpopulation. You were only really half listening at first, at least before she mentioned that her solution could stop the extermination which peaked your interest.
She explains her âHazbin Hotelâ and its purpose to rehabilitate sinners, you wanted to hear more of it but Adam cut her off.
The meeting didnât really go that well, At least for Charlie. But the whole thing left quite the impression on you. The idea of ending the extermination was stuck in your head for so long, and now you had someone who had an alternative.
âAdam, are you sure that it couldnât have worked?â
Adam looks at you in surprise âWhat? Do you think that shitshow could have actually worked?â He laughed as he placed a hand on your back. âDonât even pay it any mind, alright Babe?â
âI know, itâs just⌠you know I don't like the extermination. So another way to lessen the population of hell should at least be looked into.â Your voice was soft enough to barely hear.
Adamâs gaze softened but he didnât say another word, only wrapping his wing around you pulling you closer. You lean towards him, snuggling into his soft robe. No matter how much you wanted to ignore it, you couldnât. You needed to do something, anything.
So that night, after Adam fell asleep, you asked to talk with Sera. Leaving a note for Adam saying you went to buy something just in case he woke up.
âWhat is troubling you?â Seraâs voice was clear and concise.
You looked toward the ground, your nerves feeling tighter than ever, as you struggled with how to put your words together. âYou're aware of all that happened in the meeting with Luciferâs Daughter, right?â
Sera nods her head âof course, all meetings are documented about as they happen.â She tilts her head slightly âWhat about it?â
âWell!â You steel yourself before continuing âI would like permission to observe Charlie Morningstarâs âHazbin Hotelââ
Seraâs eyes widen, breaking her calm demeanor before giving a firm âNoâ
âBut-â
âItâs too dangerous for you to be there, Adam wouldnât want that anywaysâ
âHe would listen if it was an order from you!â Your eyes felt watery but you continued âPlease Sera⌠I know you donât want the extermination to continue. Just let me do this!â
Sera looked away from you, her feelings evident on her face, any mask now down. âJust a little moreâ you thought
âSera, I promise you, Iâll be careful! We donât even have to fully support them yet, just let me observe them. It would be devastating if so many souls parish if we failed to seek all options!â You beg
Sera sighed, shakingly ââŚIâll see what I can do.â
Your eyes gleamed up at the tall woman âSera, thank you, thank you!â You wanted to hug her but out of courtesy, you advised against it.
Sera tells you that she canât guarantee anything but she will try as she sends you home to rest.
-
A few days past after that and you havenât heard anything from Sera. It was a little worrying and felt like a bad sign to you. That was, until you were informed by Sera that your request was accepted!
âBut.â Sera stops you before you can celebrate âYou're only there to keep track of the progress and to make sure nothing is happening under our nosesâ You nod your head in understanding
âAlsoâŚâ she pauses âIf anything involving this hotel happens, you will have to take full responsibility, understood?â
You nod again âyes I understand. Have you⌠told Adam yet?â
She shakes her head
âOk⌠can you⌠not tell him it was my idea, please. I donât think heâd agree if he knew.â
Sera sighs before nodding her head âVery well, Iâll tell him after you leaveâ
âThank you.â
-
You return home, when you got back Adam was already gone, Sera must have already called him to the office. You dreaded when he got back. You didnât want to see him upset, it hurt you to know how worried he was for you.
A few hours later, Adam comes through the door in a panic. He stomps up to you and pulls you into a warm and intense embrace.
âDonât go down there. I need you here with meâ his voice hitches as his wings wrap around you both, curling you both into a warm and feathery ball.
âAdamâŚâ you paused, was this really the best thing to do? No, It had to be. If this goes well, not only will the extermination stop but Adam wouldnât have to go down to hell ever again.
âAdam, you know I canât go against Seraâs orders.â You kiss his cheek âand I wonât be gone forever, Iâm only supposed to be there till the next cleanse. Not to mention, Iâll always come back to see you.â
Adam grumbled a little âI know, I just⌠donât like you being in the same place that bastard is, and in his bratâs stupid hotel! â
You laugh softly âAdamâŚâ grabbing his hand, you put yours in it, showing off the gold ring on your finger âIâll never forget my promise. You know that, right?â
Adam looks at the ring, the gold wrapped around your finger with a perfectly snug fit. Everytime he looked at it was just a reminder of your love for him. That promise was something he could never forget. He slowly raises your hand to his LED mask, kissing the back of it. âOf course not.â
âGood. I promise Iâll be fine, ok?â
He nods. Hand in hand, you slowly lead you both to the bed. The both of you lay next to each other, your bodies linked together like knots. You slwoly remove his helmet from his head, laying it on the nightstand.
Your hands move up his body before landing on his face, cupping his cheeks before pulling him to a kiss before snuggling into his chest.
-
Finally it was Time for you to leave. Sera allowed you to create portals back to heaven in case anything happened and you were in need of assistance. Adam walked you to the front gate.
âOk, do you have everything? You didnât forget that fucking angelic dagger I had Lute get for you right-â
You shush him âAdam, I told you Iâll be fine!â
Heâs sighs âDamn it- I know that but just make sure to text me while your there ok-
You kiss him deeply âAdam. I know, youâve told me a hundred times.â You smile as you cup his face âI love youâ
He sighs âLove you too Sweetcheeksâ
With one final kiss, you give Adam a tight hug before waving goodbye as you went through the flaming portal. As you went through, you take a second to look at your surroundings. In front of you was a tall building. You take a few steps back to see LED lights of a sign flashing the words âHazbin Hotelâ
You let out a sigh of relief. You had been a tad bit worried youâd spawn somewhere random and youâd have to find the building yourself. But it seems heaven at least spared you of that.
The red skies of hell were quite different from the pristine blue ones of heaven. Even though you just got here, you could already hear the sounds of screams and explosions in the distance. How welcoming.
You steel yourself and with three hard knocks to the door, you wait for someone to open it. Muffled Scurrying sounds of footsteps approach the door before it creaks open revealing the young blond woman in the doorframe, Charlie Morningstar.
âHi! Iâm-â
The door is slammed shut, Before opening again
âBe not afraid-â
It shuts againâŚ
Well, this may be a bit harder than you initially anticipated. You go to knock again only for it to open once more. This time, the door doesnât close again, instead the girl mutters a quick âHiâ before going quiet.
âHello! I didnât mean to scare you!â You give a small laugh before continuing âI believe we met a couple days ago?â You bring your hand towards her for a shake, to which she reciprocates.
âDuring the meeting with.. Adam? Right?â She grimaced when she mentioned Adam, which you decided to ignore, you simply smiled and nodded. âbut I donât believe I caught your name?â
You tell her about yourself, about how your there to stay and monitor any progress the hotel may have. You made sure to pronounce âmay.â While you were hoping for this idea to show some kind of positive results, even you werenât sure if itâd would work.
âCharlie? whoâs at the door- WhatHolyShit-â a woman with a red X over her eye suddenly shouts in surprise. You look over at her, She looked very familiarâŚ
âWait, you are-â
âVaggie! Charlieâs sinner girlfriend! And you are?!â The woman known as Vaggie, highlighted the word sinner while performing a âbe quietâ gesture with her hand. Your eyes widen a little at the ex-Angel in front of you but you simply smile a nod âIâm Y/n, I donât believe weâve met, yes?â
Look, lying is the last thing youâd want to do as a citizen of heaven but you figured that it would be fine if it was to protect someone. Vaggie nodded, her face scrunched up in a tense look.
âYou feeling ok Vaggie? Youâre looking a little⌠red?â
âIâm fine! *ahem*, Hun, how about you give them a tour of the hotel.â
Charlie gasped âYes that's perfect, you may as well get acquainted with everyone if youâre going to be here more often!â
Charlie ran off, telling you âthis way! This way!â Over and over. Before you went to follow her, you leaned toward Vaggie and said a quick âRelax, I wonât tell anyone.â
She lets out a sigh before muttering âThank youâ
You both follow Charlie as she shows you the various rooms in the hotel before leading you back to the hotelâs lobby and lounge area.
âHey! Hello everyone!â Charlieâs voice picked up a little âIâd like to introduce you to our uh⌠new staff member?â You nod in agreement with the title. The room in front of you was shrouded in looks of both horror and amazement.
âWhat the hellâs an angel doinâ here?â A lanky spider demon spoke up first
âItâsss an ambush! seek Cover!!â The Snake demon shouted, seemingly grabbing an army helmet from thin air before taking a deep dive behind the couch.
âNo Pentious-â She sighs âtheyâre here to monitor the hotel! Heaven sent them to scout any potential progress the hotel will haveâ
âItâs nice to meet you allâ you look at the people in front of you, to say it was a colorful cast would be an understatement.
âThese two are our current tenants of the hotel! Angel dust and Sir Pentious!â
The snake slithered slowly from behind the couch up to you, while the Spider demon remained rested on the couch
âOh⌠*ahem* Excuse me dear! I am Sir. Pentious! Formally known as âthe Architect of destructionâ!â He laughs, a slight hiss sounding in his voice.
He offers a handshake which you accept. To which you immediately regret. â Slimeyâ you thought, before wiping your, now wet hand on your clothes.
The spider demon, who you now know as Angel Dust, just gives a wave with one of his 4 arms.
âAnd-â Charlie extends the word as she quickly walk to a bar by the entrance âthis is the recreational area, run by our Bartender, Husk!â
The winged bartender seemed entirely uninterested in your presence or even Charlieâs. The most you got was a small glance before he takes a swig of his alcohol and walks off.
âHeâs not the most⌠social guy in hellâ she awkwardly laughs before moving on to the next person. âAnd this is Nifty, our one and only maid at the hotel! Nifty say hi.â
The short woman scurried moved around you, her eye quickly looking at every every nook and cranny of you as she moved. She made numerous attempts to touch and grab various things on you, your clothes, wings, and eventually she tried to climb up you to get to your halo. Thatâs when you finally grabbed her in place âyou're a⌠fast one, huh? Nice to meet you!â
âAnd last but not least! This is Alastor, the hotelâs executive producer and our first -and only- overlord sponsor!â
Immediately, you could tell there was something off about Alastor. The entire aura he gave off was as if he was restraining something completely and utterly ungodly. The static that surrounded him was just one of many whispers you could hear from his soul.
âHello! Itâs quite a pleasure to meet someone of your⌠holy status!â He offers a hand to which you, hesitantly, shake. âAnd what do we owe the pleasure for your service?â
âTheyâre going to be here to keep track of the progress of the hotelâŚâ Charlie paused âyou know Iâm starting to sound like a broken record- here, itâs late, how about we all get some sleep and we can talk about it in the morning!â
âFine by me, I am waaay too sober to be having social interaction this lateâ Angel picks himself up and stretches âIâm gonna hit the hayâ
âHere Iâll show you to your room!â Charlie smiles âWe -obviously- didnât have time to make your own so I hope you donât mind using one of the guest roomsâ she laughs
She and Vaggie walks you to your new room before leaving you be, The room was nothing more than just your average hotel room. Of course it did have its differences, a multitude of⌠eyes seem to be on the wall, staring at you. Well, thatâs not the least alarming.
You place your stuff down and begin unpacking, you mostly just brought the basics. Clothes, hygiene stuff, your phone, and, most importantly, a framed photo of Adam.
You sat the photo on your nightstand, angling it just right so that it would always be visible to you. As you do so, you think about the memory the photo brings, you took it on one of the first dates you went on with Adam. It was a relatively tame date, you and Adam, having a picnic by a lake at night. You brought candles so you both werenât completely in the dark, and you just loved the way he looked, his golden eyes watching the water. The dim candle light illuminating his face with a warm golden shade. Adam hates photos of him with his mask off but⌠You just had to keep that moment in time forever.
*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*
Speak of the- well, you know the rest. The bright light from the phone comes with the notification sound displaying Adam in bold letters. You smile as you read his messages.
Dixkmaster69
Heyy Sweetcheeks, itâs been a bit since you left
You there??
Fucking answer
You let out a small laugh at Adamâs barrage of messages. Heâs not used to you being away from him for more than a day, huh? Not that you could blame him, this is honestly nothing compared to how you feel each year he has to do the extermination.
Sweetcheeks
Hey love
Everythingâs fine, Iâm ok.
Aside from not having you with me :â(
Dixkmaster69
Fucking finally
You know you donât have to do this
If I bitch enough to Sera I can get you back by tomorrow
Sweetcheeks
Please donât, Sera already has enough on her plate.
I promise Iâm going to be fine
Iâll be back before you know it.
Dixkmaster69
I know
This shit just worries me
Gonna miss hearing your sexy ass voice at night too ;)
You blush at the message before sighing. Whenever you or Adam approached a topic that made him uncomfortable, he would always try to change the subject to something that made him feel better. You knew why, Adamâs someone who rarely talked about his feelings, even after all these eons together that was something he hadnât changed. You knew exactly what he needed, even if he didnât explicitly tell you.
Sweetcheeks
I already miss yours too <3
Do you want to help me fall asleep with that heavenly voice of yours on the phone?
Dixkmaster69
Whatever you want Sweetcheeks <3
You smile when, almost immediately, Adam begins calling your phone. You click the lights off before You make your way in your new bed, not even bothering to change out of the clothes youâve been wearing. You grab the cover and pull it over you and tapping the answer button.
âSupâ
You yawn âHey handsome, I missed your voiceâ
You hear his voice hitch before he caused on âOf course you did, no one has a better voice than the dick master. But uh, yours is a close secondâ
Youâre let out a tired giggle, âsuch a charmer, you. Howâs your day been huh?â
âOh! donât even get me started on that- Lute took me to get some ribs to âcalm my nervesâ or some shit and they had me, ME, wait in line for like 15 minutes! The fucking audacity!â
You smile to yourself as Adam tells you about his day, the sound of his voice was like a sweet lullaby to your ears and you couldnât get enough of it. But eventuallyâŚ
âAnd then when I got home, I couldnât find my damn charger and it took me like 40 fuckinâ minutes to realize it was under our bed, do you have any idea of how it keeps getting there?â He waits for you to respond only to be met with silence. âUh bitch, Iâm talking to you.â
More silence⌠well no, actually if Adam focused on listening, he could hear the faint sound of your snoring from the phone. Adam sighs,âLong day, huh?â
Adam lays back in your shared bed, getting comfortable. He sets the phone beside him, plugging it in while keeping it on speaker. He yawns, âGoodnight Sweetheart, canât wait to see you againâ
Slowly, the soft sounds of both yours and Adamâs snores filled each others rooms, a distant, but intimate connection. Even in slumber, you couldnât stop thinking of your handsome and caring soulmate.
#Hazbin hotel#hazbin#Hazbin hotel x reader#Hazbin x reader#hazbin hotel x gn reader#hazbin hotel x male reader#hazbin hotel x female reader#hazbin x gn reader#hazbin x male reader#hazbin x female reader#Adam x reader#adam x gn reader#adam x male reader#Adam x female reader#Hazbin hotel Adam#hazbin adam#Hazbin hotel Adam x reader#Hazbin Adam x reader#Charlie Morningstar x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#x reader#x male reader#character x male reader#fanfic#character x reader#x female reader
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TITLE: How each of the members talks to you during sex
SUMMARY: blurbs on how each of the members talk to you/verbally treat you during sex!
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I wonât be able to regulate/monitor every potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with me, my work, or page whatsoever.
TAGS: smut, mentions of sexual intercourse, cumplay, breeding, humiliation, dirty talk, swearing, use of names such as good girl, baby girl, angel, slut bunny.
MASTERLIST
A/N: havenât done an OT8 piece in a while. Next work is âPlay Nightâ from my Play series! Really sorry for pedalling out content slower than usual, just been a busy gal as of late and also working on the rest of my promised parts to other works too. Those will be prioritised over the new ideas I have x
BANG CHAN
He is an absolute king at communicating. Chan will verbalise to you how he feels just about every step of the way when heâs hitting it in every position. Heâs letting you know how insane your pussy makes him feel, how good his body feels. At the same time, he is also the type of person to say things such as âdo you like it when I do that?â, âwhat about this way?â, âcan you feel that?â
Chan also has this thing he likes to do where he cums first, inside you of course, then focuses on making you orgasm next so that when he pulls out, he can see your pussy pulsate and try to squeeze out his seed. He'd plug your sensitive hole with a few of his fingers, stroking your creamy walls. Doing something like that will compel him to say something like 'look at this mess princess, need daddy to fuck it back into you?', 'that's it, don't wanna waste a single drop, right baby?'
MINHO
Youâre his personal wet, fuck toy and heâll see you as nothing else unless youâre making love. If thatâs the case, thereâs barely any talk except âI love youâsâ. Which is never a bad thing because the physicality speaks for itself. But if youâre not his love, youâre his whore, his little slut bunny that he rails and lets you know that you are one.
Heâll have a hand on your throat, leaning down into your ear which forces you to hear his every word. Minho also mock-moans you as almost a form of humiliation. Every time you scream out that youâre going to cum, heâll repeat your words in the same manner just to be a dick. But for some reason, itâs fucking hot.
CHANGBIN
A man of principle as we all know, and as a man of principle, he sticks to what he believes. And whatâs that exactly? He believes that you are his. So yes he can be quite possessive and is vocal about it in the bedroom, or, wherever it is that he decides to fuck your brains out.
Changbin is letting you know that your pussy is his, is for him, is for his taking. Heâll tell you that your tits are for him to suck on. Heâll tell you your body is for him to mark, that your ass is for him to grope, slap, and grab. Above all, Changbin will not fail to also tell you how beautiful you are with him. Possessive Binnie is a staple concept.
HYUNJIN
Almost similar to Chan in a way, Hyunjin will let you know how he feels. But similar to his artistic streak, he can actually be really descriptive with what goes on in bed despite his semi-soft personality that would wrongly suggest that he's shy. For example, he will tell you something along the lines of âkeep squeezing around me baby girlâ, âneed to fuck this pussy forever,' 'need to see you dripping with my cum.â
Lately, youâve noticed a spike in Hyunjinâs obsession with breeding and that has massively impacted the way that he talks to you. Ever since he heard and read up on the phenomenon of his newly acquired kink, he canât stop saying things to you like; âgonna be a good girl and have my kids, huh? Wanna breed this pretty pussy - fuck my bloodline into youâ - something unhinged like that.
JISUNG
Again, under the switch!Jisung agenda, depending on what way he leans for the night dictates how he talks to you in bed. If heâs subbing, and youâre fucking him? Oh, he is whining. Whining to you like a bitch in heat, telling you to spit in his mouth, how much he loves it when you fuck him, heâd tell you to go harder and faster until he passes out. Heâd shamelessly cry out âIâm gonna cum - youâre gonna make me fuckinâ cumâ repeatedly and without a care in the world.
When he tops, he has the same level of communication but with the opposite style of talk. Out of all of these guys, Jisung is up there with one of the filthiest mouths. Saying things to you like âlook at all this cream around your pussy, makes me want to fuck you with my tongue,â or, âIâll fucking make you cum as many times as I want, I need you spilling on these sheets you hear me?â He just becomes totally deranged because of you.
FELIX
Words of affirmation are just a top-tier love language of his just as much as physical affection. Felix will speak to you in the most loving manner possible when heâs doing the dirtiest of things to your body. Like fingering your wet, oversensitive pussy and breathing into your ear, how much he loves your dripping hole. How it only gets that wet for him.
Felix would be into a lot of fun activities in the bedroom but at your own sanity really. They're activities that could involve edging for more than an hour. Similarly, overstimulation as well that could last over an hour. In those instances, Felix is showering you with praise. Every orgasm or every time you try and hold off - 'my angel, look at how well you're going. So wet and perfect. Makes me want to just stop now and fuck you. You want that, don't you? Want to cum on my cock instead?"
SEUNGMIN
Seungminâs form of verbalisation is almost like some type of militarisation, like heâs handing out instructions to you as if itâs the army. In the bedroom, whenever thereâs edging, overstimulation, rope, handcuffs, toys, contraptions of sorts, chains, you name it, he will be telling you what to do and will say things like âhold your arms out so I can tie them,â âopen up that mouth nice and wideâ, âspread those legs for meâ, âmake sure you swallow everything I give youâ, and itâs always in a nonchalant, indifferent, and uncaring tone.Â
In a way, itâs reiterating that he calls the shots, and sometimes it feels like he's using your body - which is welcomed here and there. Other than that, Seungmin can say some pretty out there stuff too which makes you wonder where it all comes from. Such as âneed to keep fucking this pretty pussy of yours otherwise Iâll go crazyâ, ânot stopping until you squirt all over my cockâ, âthatâs it, fuck yourself on my dick until you cum.â
JEONGIN
Jeongin is a different breed of cattle when it comes to the way he speaks to you in the bedroom. Heâs the type of person to praise you first, then belittle you in the next second or the opposite way around. He is the first person to call you a 'whore' or a 'cock-driven slut' whenever you beg him to fuck you. Then once he does, he will call you his 'good girl', his 'sweet girl' for taking his cock so well <3
Jeongin can, for the most part, be a receiver - in the sense that he makes you do all the work just to punish you and not necessarily because you or he wants you to take control. That does happen every now and then, but whenever heâs receiving head or youâre riding him, heâs still the boss. Heâll still tell you to âride my cock fasterâ, egging you on by saying âI know you can do better than thatâ, âwhat? You want to cum? I think you can wait.â Heâd just be a menace tbh.
I strictly forbid and do not permit anyone or any user to copy, re-upload, translate, remake, or pass off any of my work here on Tumblr to any other social media platform whatsoever. Doing so will result in having your account suspended, deleted, taken down, and or permanently banned.
#rosiewritesskz#skz smut#stray kids smut#ot8 skz smut#Ot8 Stray Kids smut#lee know smut#han jisung smut#bang chan smut#felix smut#hyunjin smut#i.n smut#changbin smut#seungmin smut
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she mumbled that i was peculiar
sukuna x reader summary: impressively, sukuna is still trying to find ways to deny his feelings for you. nevertheless, he keeps you safe from harm when a late night trip to the store doesn't go as planned. will seeing his violent nature for yourself change the way you feel about him? he seems to think so. w/c: 4.2k (oops) tags/warnings: angst to fluff. attempted kidnapping. canon typical violence. depictions of blood. reader throws up. reader is in shock for a bit. cursing. aged up!yuuji. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. *please mind the warnings for this chapter* a/n: i'm sorry this took so long! im ngl, i struggled quite a bit to write this chapter. i'm still unsure about the pacing, but here it is anyway. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! series masterlist // masterlist
it's not often that you go out for the evening, but tonight is one such occasion. you leave around seven, excited to meet nobara and maki for dinner.
when yuuji falls asleep a few hours later, sukuna doesn't take over right away. he spends a while in his domain, engaging in what some people might call sulking.
before long, however, he begins to feel restless and he tells himself it's because he's grown accustomed to his finite hours of freedom. of course, it has nothing to do with your absence.
so he assumes control of his vessel's body and pulls a short novel from your bookshelf. settling on the couch, his fingertips brush over the cover: the stranger by albert camus
it's the first time he's ever been alone in your apartment, a fact he's well aware of, and his eyes wander to the front door. it'd be all too easy to pull it open, to make his way downstairs and out onto the street.
how long would it last before yuuji regained control? are you nearby? would you get caught up in the havoc he'd doubtlessly wreak?
the thought makes him grimace. returning his focus to the book in his hands, time seems to pass by faster as he makes his way through the pages.
even so, he deems the narrative a bit boring. in his (what's the opposite of humble?) opinion, dead mothers and nagging girlfriends don't make for the most captivating story, so his mind begins to wander once he happens upon the quote:
"so why marry me, then?" she said. i explained to her that it didn't really matter and that if she wanted to, we could get married. besides, she was the one who was doing the asking and all i was saying was yes. then she pointed out that marriage was a serious thing. i said, "no." she stopped talking for a minute and looked at me without saying anything. then she spoke. she just wanted to know if i would have accepted the same proposal from another woman, with whom I was involved in the same way. i said, "sure." then she said she wondered if she loved me, and there was no way i could know about that. after another moment's silence, she mumbled that i was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might disgust her for the same reason.
sukuna thinks about youâ the woman who forced her way into his solitude.
although, what if it hadn't been you? what if the brat had been involved with another woman? would he have eventually taken an interest in her too?
are you really that special, or is he just going crazy inside the cage that is itadori yuuji? the latter is much more likely, right?
he supposes he prefers the idea of madness over... feelings for some human.
all of a sudden, your apartment door seems much more inviting. would it be so bad if he were to step through it? what did he really have to lose?
yeah, that's right. he'll get up any second now and act on every horrible impulse he's been repressing. any second now... any second...
he can't quite figure out why he's unable to bring his limbs to move, weighed down by some force that's beyond him.
it's at that moment the door clicks open and for a split second, he thinks it must be his sign to go, but then you come waltzing in.
"'kuna!" you greet in an excited manner, disrupting the peaceful quiet.
kicking off your shoes haphazardly, you make your way over to him and promptly drop yourself into his lap. it elicits a bout of unwelcome clarity for the king of curses.
no, he wouldn't have taken an interest in just anyone, that much becomes obvious. it wasn't through a medium as flawed as chance that he came to... tolerate you. you're much too annoying for that to be the case.
"hello???" you wave your hand in front of his face. "i'm home."
"i can see that."
"welcome home, darling," you say in a deep voice, a poor imitation of him. "i missed you so muchâ that's what you're supposed to say."
yeah, definitely too annoying.
"but i didn't miss you." one of his hands comes to rest on your thigh, a betrayal of his preceding assertion.
"you're sitting alone readingâ" you pause to inspect the book lying open beside him. "existential fiction about a nihilistic frenchman. of course you missed me."
he changes the topic rather swiftly. "you're drunk."
"i'm tipsy, at best." you roll your eyes. "can't i just be happy to see you?"
"you'd be the first."
"i don't mind making history."
you place a kiss on his lips, casual and affectionate in way that makes sukuna's body stiffen, and stand up.
"i need to get ready for bed, then we're gonna watch tv together because i missed youâ gosh, see how easy that was?"
you run off to the bathroom and his body doesn't fully relax until he hears the shower turn on.
the thought of missing someone is a strange notion to him, because it implies eagerness and desire. for as long as he cares to remember, those emotions have been reserved for proclivities much more sinister.
so he hadn't missed you. he just would have preferred it if you stayed home. that's all.
when you return to the living room around fifteen minutes later, you're wearing one of yuuji's shirts, and as far as sukuna can tell, very little otherwise.
making yourself comfortable on the floor between his legs, you pass a hair tie behind you. "can you braid my hair?"
he's watched you get ready for bed enough times that he's fairly certain he can manage it. taking the tie from you, he still asks "why can't you do it?"
"because i'm sleepy," you frown, reaching for the tv remote.
gathering your hair in his hands and carefully dividing it into sections, he sighs. "you require so much looking after."
"you're not going to die if you can't have cookies tonight." sukuna states dryly, glancing at the clock that reads eleven o'clock.
"please don't trivialize my struggle," you begin, pulling on your jacket. "i want miso butter cookiesâ my grandma's secret recipe."
most of what you need can be found in the kitchen, but a trip to the store is in order for a few final ingredients.
"my mistake," he huffs, rising to his feet. "how insensitive of me."
"oh, it's alright. just don't let it happen again."
"sure. i'll keep that in mind, princess." sliding the apartment door's chain lock off the track, he does little to hide the vexation in his tone.
just as he reaches for the handle, you stop him and wrap a scarf around his neck, forcing a hoodie into his hands. "put this on. you'll be cold."
he looks at you as if you're crazy. "i don't have to worry about things as insignificant as the weather."
"well, put it on anyway," you insist.
he decides that acquiescing will be easier than arguing for the next five minutes and slips the hoodie over head. when you both step out into the chilly air of night, there are still a decent number of people traveling the streets.
stopping at a crosswalk the next block over, you begin to prattle on about what you need to pick up and the different steps in your recipe. naturally, you completely miss it when the pedestrian sign turns green.
"come on," sukuna commands, his hand wrapping around your wrist and tugging you along with him. "i don't have all night."
you scoff. "to be fair, i didn't say you had to come with me."
"yeah well it's late. you shouldn't be out alone." there's a hint of exasperation in his voice, like he truly had no choice in the matter.
despite that, once you reach the other side of the street, his fingers slide down your palm and thread through yours.
you glance over at him and find he's looking off to the side, so you bite your lip to suppress your pleased smile. is he avoiding your gaze intentionally? you decide that bashfulness suits him better than you would have expected.
offering him a light squeeze of the hand, you hope it conveys your appreciation of his small display of affection.
"so, are you going to help me make the cookies?"
his lips press into a thin line. "as thrilling as that seems, i don't particularly have a penchant for baking."
"you think you'd humor me a little! you know, since i'm your only friend and all."
"if anyone else asked me such a ridiculous question, they wouldn't live to see tomorrow." you ponder whether he's joking and quickly decide that he isn't. "this is me humoring you."
"you're so mean to me."
"hardly."
"fine," you pout. "then you can't have any!"
"now, hold on." the threat does make him hesitate. you've come to learn that if there's one thing he loves as much as reading, it's food. "let's not be hasty."
you're approaching the store, the sliding doors just a few strides away.
"it's only fair! besides, you're not going to die if you can't have cookies," you throw his earlier words in his face.
he exhales deeply. "have i ever told you how irritating you are?"
"woah! now you're definitely not getting any, mister!"
"alright, alright," he groans as you step inside. "i'll help you bake your stupid cookies."
"perfect!" you exclaim as if you knew he'd give in eventually (you did). "then you can start by finding the miso paste while i get everything else!"
you scamper off before he can tell you not to order him around like some common servant. he's never even been grocery shopping, how the hell is he supposed to find anything in here?
wandering the aisles, he stews over how domestic this is. for god's sakeâ the king of curses, shopping for ingredients and making baked goods. what have you reduced him to?
just as he considers giving up, he spots the item he's looking for and grabs it so aggressively that it knocks a few packets of instant miso soup to the floor. wrinkling his nose in distaste for the entire experience, he sets off looking for you, though his efforts are to no avail.
he wonders where the hell you could have gone off to when a flickering light catches his eye, filling him with a strange sort of unease.
it's emanating from a narrow hallway tucked away in the back corner of the store. at the very edge of the hall, a phone with a familiar case is lying on the floor, the screen shattered.
his blood runs cold, a sensation that is fully unknown to him, and the miso paste slips from his fingers. he appears in the hallway the very next second and the sight that greets him ignites a furious hostility in the center of his beingâ heavy and consuming.
you're struggling against one man as he drags you out of the backdoor and into an alley. another man is holding the door open, urging his partner to hurry up.
the hand over your mouth keeps you from yelling, but you're unsure you would have been able to make a sound regardless.
one second you're cast into darkness, and the next, the light seems blinding. the flashing is unceasing and it makes your head hurt.
two limbs are wrapped around your torso, keeping you firmly in place, and your arms are trapped at your sides. you might be kicking your legs, but they may just be dragging along too. you really can't be sure.
there's a thrum of a heartbeat at your back. it's pace is unforgiving, the intensity mirroring that of your own. you've a vague concern that your heart may very well beat right out of your chest.
then there's an abrupt shift in the air and a sickening crack echoes through out the night. crumpling onto the concrete, you think it must have started raining before you realize that the droplets on your face are warm.
you wipe at your cheek and your fingers stain crimson, the color matching that of an increasingly large puddle seeping across the pavement beside you.
there's a heap lying a few feet away and you recognize that it's wearing clothes. it's a sight you struggle to make sense of.
needing to focus on something else, your eyes find sukuna and the expression he's wearing is fierce and unreserved. "tell me what you wanted with her."
you've never heard him speak in such a way. his tone is low, his cadence nothing short of threatening.
"s-s'kuna?" your own voice sounds foreign to you and it goes unheard by him.
he has your attacker pressed against the brick wall of the alley, both hands wrapped around his throat. he's too livid to realize the pressure on his windpipe is preventing him from answering.
sukuna throws him to the other side of the alleyway out of frustration, the man rolling onto his back and wheezing to appease his lungs.
"tell me!" sukuna commands again, louder this time. less collected.
the man scrambles away from his looming figure. "th-they sent us, told us they needed her for an important matter."
"who?"
"they'll kill me if i tell youâ"
sukuna crouches down, laughing dryly. "and what do you suppose i'm going to do?"
his eyes are almost unrecognizable to you. they're frenziedâ a few shades deeper than the scarlet you've grown so fond of.
"you'll k-kill me either way, so at least i'll die with honorâ"
"tch. useless." sukuna waves his hand, and you can hardly comprehend what happens right in front of you.
neat red lines appear across the man's body, then it ruptures into nothing at all. the only evidence that he was ever there in the first place is his blood.
the stench of which is perhaps the worst partâ intense, coppery, and hot. it makes your eyes water, and before you know it, you're hunched over and emptying the contents of your stomach onto the ground.
sukuna is at your side in an instant, pulling your hair away from your face, but while one of your hands is braced against the concrete, the other endeavors to push him away.
his body doesn't budge at the contact, but he takes a step back anyway in an attempt to respect your wishes.
your mind is a mess filled with racing thoughtsâ what the fuck? this cannot be happening. what the hell even happened in this first place? that man was there and then he wasn't.
inhaling sharply, you wipe at your mouth and shift to pull your knees to your chest.
"what..." you trail off, surveying the unutterable, incomprehensible scene before you. "what did you do?"
he doesn't respond, though his features noticeably soften. somewhere in the back of your mind, you know very well what he did, but you can't help repeating. "what did you do?"
"we need to leave." it's not that sukuna couldn't handle whoever might show up, but seeing as this is your reaction, he has no desire to. "if you let me touch you, i can take us home."
you take a moment to think about it, then nod wordlessly. as soon as his hand falls on your shoulder, you're met with that same sensation you felt the night gojo teleported you and yuuji home after one too many drinks.
though this time, the sick feeling in your stomach isn't caused by liquor. you don't stand up, you don't so much as move a muscle when you feel the surface beneath you shift from concrete to carpet.
sukuna breathes out your name, his uncertainty evidenced by the way he's shoved his hands into his pockets. meeting his eye, you reiterate the same inquiry once more. "what did you do?"
it's almost as if you want him to tell you that he didn't do anything. that the whole experience was some disturbing nightmare.
"those men would have hurt you."
"that doesn't mean they deserved to die." you choke on the final word.
"yesâ it does."
with that, silence hangs in the air like a suffocating miasma.
looking to your hands, you're reminded of the blood you've been spattered with. "i need to wash up."
you still don't move from your spot, too fixated on your flesh and the dreadful hue that it's been painted with. sukuna notices now that you're trembling.
he approaches you hesitantly before extending his hand. "let me help you."
you decline his offer, shying away from him. "i think you've done enough already."
god, the look in your eye is utterly despondent. he struggles to swallow the lump that forms in his throat.
his arm falls limply to his side and he looks across the room, your copy of the stranger earning his attention.
he's overcome with chagrin when he realizes that his concern brought about by camus' quote the other night was wholly misguided. he'd been focused on his own feelings, whether they were genuine or simply wrought by his isolation.
how foolish was he to ever question what you truly mean to him? with the anguish that's settled in his chest at the sight of your current state, the fact he ever doubted it makes him feel like a hopeless idiot.
had he any sense at all, the part that resonated with him would have beenâ
she mumbled that i was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might disgust her for the same reason.
disgust. is that what you're feeling now? he's certain it is.
it was just last week that he relayed the story of his past. you're the only person alive to know the truth of how his wickedness came to be, and you met him with unconditional sympathy and understanding.
you pulled him close and embraced him, but now that you've seen him for what he truly is...? you can barely stand to touch him and it's like a knife to his heart.
you're so fucking warmâ like the sun against his skin after weeks of endless rain.
and if you're the sun, surely he is the moonâ cold and barren on his own, but brilliant when in the presence of your light.
to be without that? to be without you? it's a prospect too terrible for him to bear. it makes his stomach twist miserably.
you're startled (as is he) when his form falls to the floor, his knees meeting the carpet with a dull thud. he calls out your name again, but this time, his voice cracks as he speaks. "please."
he doesn't have a clue what he's even asking for. a chance to explain? forgiveness? a way to turn back time?
you don't say anything, but you do shift your gaze to him. he knows that he needs to fix this, so he wracks his mind for the right words.
"i didn't enjoy killing those men." he's somewhat surprised to find he's telling the truth.
"you didn't?" your voice is so small and timid that he can hardly decipher your words.
"no. my only concern was to keep you safeâ to make sure they never put their hands on you ever again. all i felt was rage and... and... guilt. i should have never left you alone and it's my faultâ"
"stop," you interrupt him.
there are tears welling in your eyes, making it difficult for sukuna to breathe. he's positive you're going to tell him that his intentions were of little consequence and that you never want to see him ever again.
instead, you push yourself forward and collapse against his body, your own wracked with violent sobs. the reality of the situation is only just now hitting you. it'd been much easier to focus on what sukuna had done, rather than what almost happened to you.
"i was so scared, 'kuna."
and still, despite the way you're clinging to his shirt and burying your face in chest, he's under the impression that it's him you were afraid of.
"i'm sorry," he tells you earnestly. "i never meant to frighten you."
"n-not of you. those men." you're struggling to speak in between desperate gasps. "why did they do that? what did they want with me?"
"i don't know." though, he is going to find out.
sukuna is not a man well versed in comfort, so he's not entirely sure why he begins rocking you back and forth, but he does it anyway.
when you finally start to breathe a little easier, he mumbles into your hair, "come on. let's get you cleaned up."
he doesn't give you a chance to respond before he scoops you up in his arms and carries you to the bathroom. setting you down on the counter gently, he searches the linen closet for a cloth.
it's quiet, save for your intermittent sniffling, as he runs it under warm water and wrings it out. his free hand moves to rest against the side of your neck and he dabs at the blood on your face, rinsing the washcloth every now and then.
he tries his best not to show it, but sukuna is agonizing over what might be going through your mind.
do you still feel safe with him? have your feelings changed? do you still love him, even when you've been so harshly reminded what he's capable of?
when you speak for the first time your words are hoarse, barely above a whisper. "thank you for saving me, sukuna."
he thinks about telling you not to thank him, not when it shouldn't have happened in the first place. he left your side, an error in judgement he'll never forgive himself for.
he considers your mortalityâ your weaknessâ in relation to his feelings for you. he's always seen this exceptionally human quality as despicable.
but now? all it does is terrify him.
"in the past, i was only concerned with my own whims and desires." his hand moves to cradle your face, his thumb running over your cheekbone. "though after tonight... you have to know..."
it's clear that he's struggling. his eyebrows draw together and his mouth twitches as he ponders his next words.
"i care about you, angel." his voice is hushed when he adds, "very much."
your eyes widen briefly and you murmur his name, but your mind is still reeling from the events of the past twenty minutes and you can't think of anything more to say. you're emotionally exhausted in a way you would have never thought possible.
it's plain to him too, so he knows his next question is selfish, but he can't go on without knowing. "does what you saw tonight change things between us?"
the silence preceding your answer seems to stretch on forever.
"i thought it would," you confess eventually. it was as if you'd put up a wall in your mind separating sukuna the king of curses from sukuna the man you spend your evenings with.
and it's difficult to reconcile the fact that the hands you saw used to murder two men are the same hands that are caressing your face so delicately.
at some point, however, you realized that the only time you felt fear tonight was when you were without him. his arrival and ensuing actions inspired shock and apprehension, though in some twisted way, you knew it meant you were safe. "but it doesn't."
the next question tumbles from your lips thoughtlessly. "does that make me a bad person?"
he chuckles and some of the tension in the room dissipates. "i think i'm the last one on earth that can pass moral judgement on you."
he tucks your hair behind your ear and scans your face, relief coursing through his body when he sees you smile. in this moment, there isn't anything else in the world he would have asked for.
"i guess you're right."
and now, the hand over your mouth is your own, an attempt to stifle your tired giggles. the light of the bathroom is warm and steady. sukuna's hands rest atop your hips, his touch firm but comforting. while you can't feel your own heartbeat, you're positive it must be beating in time with his.
when you crawl into bed that night sukuna pulls you close, your back pressed to his bare chest. you're thankful for the softness of his demeanor, because you need it tonight more than ever.
he doesn't recede to his domain until yuuji wakes up the following morning. he's determined to keep an eye on you as you sleep, to watch the slow rise and fall of your chest with newfound gratitude.
he knows he needs to speak with the brat about what happened. someone is after you and while he hates to admit it, he knows he can't ensure your safety alone.
and he will keep you safe, no matter the cost.
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I guess your bio clearly states you write for Negan, but it doesn't explicitly state you write only for Negan. So I'm thinking I should just ask. Are you open to writing a dadsbsf!Rick and dadsbsf!Negan x reader fic, they have a rivalry and are always trying to one up eachother to get in the readers good graces, but little do they know you already want them (both) and you get them (both). Ik this isn't something you normally write and it's totally fine with multiple partners. But you're clearly a great writer and I just had to ask. It's totally fine you don't take this request or even ignore it. But if you were to write could do something with an age gap and a minx reader and mean Rick and Negan but only during steamy, but otherwise they sprinkle their lives on you.(Maybe this could be series or something it doesn't have to be oneshot and you could your time exploring the idea, idk why I'm so passionate about this lol)
Thanks, for hearing me out, believe me ik this a tall order. Again it's totally fine if you ignore this!!!
P.s idk why I added the photos I'm sorry đđđđ(them trying to mark their territory trying to make the other back off of you???)
dadsbsf! Negan x F! Reader x dadsbsf! Rick
summary Negan and Rick are over at your house, joining your dad for a game of poker. tags gambling, mentions of smoking and alcohol consumption, age gap (reader is college aged and Rick and Negan are kinda old...like late 40s early 50s?)
wc 2.3k
note i really liked this request and i hope i interpreted it correctly, if not, i sincerely apologize! just fyi, i plan on making this multiple parts, which is why there's no smut....YET! :P
*you are responsible for your own content consumption. if this is something you DO NOT like, simply DO NOT read or interact! :) *
She loves summer. It's more so what comes with it, rather than the season itself. Being back home from college and finally having her own space in her own room and her own bathroom with her own shower. Most of all, she loves the late nights in her backyard, swimming in the pool beneath the bright stars, cicadas buzzing and crickets chirping in the background.Â
Tonight's one of those nights. The dark, starry, cloudless sky accompanies her she floats on her back around the pool, enjoying the peace of the summer night. All she's missing is a nice midnight snack. The warm, humid nighttime air feels good against her wet skin as she climbs out the pool. She forgot to bring a towel with her when she came out earlier, but that doesn't matter since she's getting right back in anyway. Barefoot, she saunters across the soft grass to the sliding glass door that leads into her house.Â
"Honey, where's your towel? You're dripping all over the floor," her dad complains as soon as she steps inside. Feeling the freezing air conditioning on her wet body also has her wishing she brought a towel.Â
"Sorry, I forgot, but I..." She trails off, finally noticing that her dad isn't alone and that he's at the dining room table with his best friends, Rick and Negan, in the middle of a game of poker.Â
"Hi, Rick...Negan," she awkwardly greets, folding her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling naked in front of the two.Â
"I'll be right back, gonna go grab her a towel," her dad explains, excusing himself from the table.Â
"Late night swim?" Negan teases while shamelessly eyeing the freezing girl's half-naked body. Her face grows hot as she feels his hazel eyes undressing what little clothing she has on.Â
"Why don' you join us for a game?" Rick suggests with a pat to the seat beside him.Â
"But I dunno how to play." Despite this, she takes the seat anyway. Rick pulls the chair closer to him until he can't anymore.Â
"I'ma teach ya how." This earns a scoff from Negan.Â
"Doll, you don't want this fuckin' prick teachin' ya how to play poker."Â
"This comin' from the idiot who lost five hundred dollars last time we played," Rick fires back. Negan rolls his eyes and flips him the bird.Â
She bursts into a fit of giggles at their rivalry. "I think I'll stick with Rick. I don't have much money to lose."Â
Her dad finally comes back into the room, towel in hand. He tosses it at her and it lands over her head like a ghost costume.Â
"Hey!" she huffs as she fixes the towel properly around her shoulders. Her father just huffs a laugh at her plight.Â
"Rick's gonna teach me how to play poker," she tells her dad excitedly. He grimaces which earns a snicker from Negan.Â
"If ya want any chance at winnin', you'll have your ol' man to teach ya, but hey," he raises his hands in mock surrender before taking his seat.Â
âIâm stickin' with Rick.â Rick gives her a soft smile and places his large hand on her thigh. Shivers run down her spine, and sheâs sure itâs not from the air conditioning.Â
âYou can jusâ watch this game and weâll deal you into the next.â She nods in agreement and leans over Rickâs shoulder to look at his cards -a three of clubs and a three of spades-, ignoring the water droplets dripping from her hair onto his shirt, but he doesnât seem to mind either. She has no idea whatâs going on since she joined in mid-game, but by the looks of everyoneâs facesâŚshe still canât tell whatâs going. Her fatherâs face is blank and Neganâs has an air of mischief to it, but then again, it almost always does. Rick looks calm as his eyes move from his cards to the three that lie in the tableâs center.Â
âWhaâs goinâ on?â She whispers in his ear. He leans down to her level and explains to her that the three cards in the middle are the flop and that things are looking good for him. She nods and leans closer to get a better look. The three men all slide more chips into pile. Negan reveals another card next to the three, which Rick informs her is called the turn. They bet again and Negan reveals one last card - the river, Rick tells her- before they all reveal their hands.Â
âTwo pair,â her dad dejectedly reveals.Â
âThree of a kind,â comes Neganâs reveal.Â
âFull house,â Rick calls out smugly as he takes the pile of chips
âSee, I knew Rick was gonna win!â She cheers, causing the two other men to groan in annoyance. Rick squeezes her thigh, which doesnât go unnoticed by Negan whoâs glaring daggers at the blue eyed man.Â
âYou playinâ this round, hon?â Her dad asks, shuffling the cards. She happily agrees and deals her in.Â
âYa sure ya wanna stick with Rick? He was just fuckinâ lucky last round,â Negan bargains.Â
âLucky and four hundred dollars richer! Iâm stickinâ by him.â Rick flashes Negan the smuggest look ever before wrapping his arm around her, pulling her closer.Â
âGot my good luck charm right here.âÂ
âSee if you get so lucky this time âround,â her dad challenges as he deals out two cards to each player. She looks at her cards, still not fully sure on how to play. She slides in a chip alongside everyone else, which Rick explains is the ante. Her dad reveals the flop and she looks from it to her own cards, not knowing what plays she has, if any. She glances over at Rick whoâs immersed in his own cards.Â
âRick, what do I do?â She whispers.Â
âCâmere, Iâll help ya out,â he offers with a pat to his lap. She climbs onto his lap from her own chair, leaving her towel behind. Her dad doesnât bat an eye. Rick is one of his best friends, basically a brother to him, and in turn like family. At least thatâs the way he sees it, like a simple loving action between good family friends.Â
But Rick can hardly focus on either of their cards. Having her on his lap is distracting. Her plush ass sits directly on top of his crotch and he can feel himself getting hard as she shifts around to get comfortable. If she can feel it too, she doesnât move away or say anything. He rests his chin on her shoulder as he looks at her cards -an eight of diamonds and an eight of hearts- his beard prickling against her soft skin.Â
âSee that eight of spades on the table, youâre close to havinâ a four of a kind,â he whispers.Â
âIs that good?âÂ
âVery.â Nobodyâs looking, so he presses a quick kiss to her shoulder. She stifles a giggle at the ticklish sensation of his beard against her skin. They all bet again and the next card is revealed. She shifts around excitedly once she sees another eight on the table.
âKeep still, sweetheart,â Rick warns, growing harder in his pants. She doesnât say anything, but Rick can see her shoulders shake with more stifled laughter. Everyone places another bet before the river is revealed and they all show their hands.Â
âFull house,â Negan says as he reveals his cards.Â
âFlush,â her dad reveals.Â
âTwo pair,â Rick shows his hand.Â
âFour of a kind,â she apprehensively says, showing her own hand.Â
âMaybe she is some kinda goddamn good luck charm,â Negan grunts.Â
âDid I win?â She asks, noticing the proud but somehow simultaneously disappointed faces around the table.Â
âYou did, sweetheart, good job!â Rick says, hugging her from his position behind her. She gets up and presses a quick kiss to his cheek, dangerously close to his lips before skipping into the kitchen.Â
âThat was fun, but Iâma head back to the pool now.â Negan watches her struggle to reach a snack in one of the cabinets. She jumps a few times, her ass jiggling a bit each time she lands. He stands up and joins her in the kitchen, watching her pathetically try a few more times before standing behind her and effortlessly grabbing the bag of chips. He even opens it before handing them to her.Â
âT-thanks,â she says turning to face him and taking the bag. Her whole body feels like itâs on fire as she stares up at him. Heâs standing so close to her, basically pinning her against the counter. His tongue glides across his bottom lip as he hungrily eyes her up and down, eyes lingering on her tits that her bikini top could hardly contain.Â
âYouâre welcome.â She doesnât know what to say or even if she should say anything. Her eyes wander down to his strong arms that are folded across his chest, his tattoos on full display. She bites her lip when her eyes graze over the slight bulge in his pants. She canât tell if heâs hard or just big, but either way she desperately needs to take a dip in the pool to cool the heat building up inside of her.Â
âIâm gonna go back out now, bye!â She slips away from him and hurries out to the backyard before jumping into the pool.Â
â Ë・âŕ¨ŕ§Ëâ Ë・â
She had about thirty minutes alone until she hears the sliding glass door open. Out comes Rick in nothing but his swimming trunks and a beer in hand. He doesn't seem to see her as he makes his way to the hot tub. He gets in, letting out a sigh of relief as he feels the hot water relaxing his muscles. He rests his arms around the ledge and tilts his head back, relaxing and the sight is delicious. She climbs out the pool and carefully steps into the hot water beside Rick.Â
"Hey darlin'," Rick greets once she's sitting beside him.Â
"What're you still doin' here? Isn't it past midnight?" she asks.Â
"Me 'n Negan wanted the hot tub for a bit, but your old man's done for the night."Â
"Oh. Okay." She's looking at Rick in a way he can't decipher. Her eyes hungrily trail across his body as she scoots closer and suddenly, she's in Rick's lap like before.Â
"I can still sit here, right?"Â
"Of course," he reassures, his hands resting on her thighs, fidgeting with the waistband of her bikini bottoms. He rests his chin on her shoulder, just relaxing and enjoying the feeling of her against him.Â
The sliding glass door opens again, a jarring interruption to their peace. She flinches, scared one of her parents were about to come out and see her and Rick in a compromising position, but Rick, seeing that it's only Negan, holds her tighter. He joins them in the hot tub with a beer in hand and cigar between his lips. In nothing but his swim trunks, his hairy chest and tattoos are on full display, taking all of her attention away from Rick. If looks could kill, Negan would have murdered Rick with his hazel colored death glare. The tension in the hot tub is so thick, it's almost suffocating. Negan being there somehow makes her feel guilty for being so close to Rick, but leaving his lap isn't something she wants to do either.
"Hey, Negan," she says in a weak attempt to relieve the tension and kill the awkward silence.Â
"Hey doll," he takes a drag from the cigar before blowing out the smoke, "congrats on winnin' your very first poker game."Â
"Thanks...couldn'ta done it without Rick, really." She subconsciously leans further into Rick and he presses a few scratchy kisses to her shoulder and the back of her neck. Negan rolls his eyes at both her and Rick.Â
"C'mere," he commands with a come hither motion. She swallows nervously, looking from man to man. Rick can feel that she wants to get up so he unravels his arms from her waist so she can, which she does, albeit apprehensively. Even though he didn't tell her to, she sits on Negan's lap, her cunt right atop his growing boner, the only barriers between them being his swim trunks and her bikini bottoms. His beard tickles the side of her face as he leans down to whisper in her ear.
Rick watches the two with an intense gaze, almost as if he was daring Negan to try something with his girl. Negan's arms are around her now as he whispers something in her ear. Rick is sure he's just talking shit but jealousy still twinges in his chest.Â
"Anything that asshole thinks he can teach ya, I can do it better," Negan whispers. Rick sees her giggling and she turns her head to whisper something back to him.Â
"Yeah? Then why'd ya lose both games earlier?" she teases. He lets out a laugh which catches Rick's attention. His blue eyes glare daggers at Negan who only spares him a smug glance.Â
"Didn't wanna embarrass poor Rick over here by beating his ass in front of ya," he says loud enough for Rick to hear. His voice returns to a whisper. "As for the other game...you just got pretty damn lucky."Â
"Mmhmm sure," she replies sarcastically with an eye roll. She stands up and wades her way to the hot tub's stairs.Â
"G'nite y'all," she wishes them as she exits the tub.Â
"Goin' to bed already? Night's just started?" Negan complains, already missing having her on his lap.Â
"It's almost three in the mornin'," Rick comments looking at his watch. "Night, sweetheart!"Â
"See you both at the barbecue tomorrow!" She blows them both a kiss before skipping off toward the house. She can feel their gazes boring into her, particularly her ass as she does so.Â
#negan x reader#rick grimes x reader#negan x you#negan fanfiction#fanfic#jdm#jeffrey dean morgan#negan#negan smith#negan smith x reader#twd negan#the walking dead negan#negan x y/n#3rd person pov#the walking dead#rick grimes x you#rick grimes fanfiction#twd#rick grimes#rick grimes x y/n#twd fanfiction#andrew lincoln
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And Comes Dawn.
Pairing: sauron/halbrand x reader, more pairings in the future to be tagged
Summary: In all beings, there exists darkness. when the deciver finds one who seems to defy this, he becomes obsessed with finding it within her. and if he can't find it, he will ruin her himself.
Tags/Warnings: clichĂŠs abound, opposites attract, sauron being evil but also hot but also evil, no use of y/n. This is pretty barebones. There's not much to tag, I don't think.
Notes: there was a lot of interest in this when I made a post. This is not super duper long and a Lil choppy but I wanna see what people think. Lemme know if you like it. If I should continue it. I have a lot of ideas. It's all written and edited on my phone so I'm sorry if it looks bad or mistakes were made.
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The wind from the sea felt nice on his face. After so many years spent as nothing more than mud and slime, it was nice to feel. Feel anything. Freedom, independence, revenge. His plan to create order and heal the world would come to fruition. Being stuck on a ship with these men was worth that price. They were like bugs. If he wanted to, he could squash them and feel nothing. Though there was one who spoke to him kindly as a mentor would, and there was the ever so slight stirring of emotions he presumed were long dead. The old man was enough to make him question what it was he desired. Did he want to be good? Did he want a fresh start? What about his plans? The desire for order was there, the want to heal the world and bring peace, but would he get that through evil, through deceit and violence? Or could that be obtained another way? He continued to stare over the vast ocean as the wheels in his head turned, and he waged a war inside himself.
"It's beautiful, is it not?" A voice broke through the silence of the night.
He turned sharply, greeted by the image of a young woman. You were beautiful. He noticed it right away. Never had he looked at a human and thought they were beautiful. The thought was usually reserved for elves, but you were different. He could tell just by looking. You were soft, gentle, pure. There was a light to you that permeated all of your features.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. We have more food tonight than expected, and you had been on your own so long before finding us. I supposed you might be hungry." You held up a bowl for him, which he accepted with a nod.
"Thank you. I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Halbrand."
You smiled softly back at him, giving him your name and taking a few small steps towards him. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
He watched you. It was curious. Everyone here was gruff and rude, not wanting to help a stranger, yet you brought him a bowl of soup instead of keeping it for yourself. He watched as you looked up at the stars and how they were reflected back in your eyes. Humans didn't often intrigue him, but you did.
He leaned back against the railing of the boat with his arms crossed, but before he could speak to ask his question, you spoke.
"The stars are beautiful, aren't they? The light against the immense darkness. It reminds us that there is light in all things. Even in the darkest of times, there is hope."
"Your people were just slaughtered by orcs. You're on the run. Hope in the stars seems pretty useless." His eyes watched you with keen interest.
"Hope is never useless. Without it, all is lost." The earnestness in your voice further fueled his curiosity.
"And what do you hope for in times like this?"
"A new start. A place to start fresh..."
"Yes," he interrupted, "That is what all hope for, but what do you hope a new place or fresh start will do? What do you want from it?"
"I want a safe place to lay my head. I want to live without shame. I want fresh air and to grow my food and I want music and I want laughter. I want to drink tea with my friends. I want to love and feel the wind on my face. I want happiness. I want peace." You smiled and closed your eyes as you pictured this serene future.
He watched you, his brows furrowed. You were odd, but he wasn't sure if that was a bad thing as of yet.
"You have a lot of this hope. It's almost oozing out of you. I can almost taste it." He took a step towards you. "As if there is no evil out there."
"There is evil, yes, but there is good. Do we despair because there is evil or have hope because there is good? I do not think there is truly anything that is created evil. Evil is only when the good is taken from someone, and if you're able to take it, then it's able to be taken back." Your eyes had opened, and you looked up at him.
"I doubt you'd believe that if you knew the evil I'd done."
"Thousands of years ago, the people of the southlands sided with Morgoth. Our ancestors fought alongside the most evil being to ever exist. Most would say that the things our people did were deplorable and worthy of the worst shame. But I look upon my home, I look upon the people I have grown with, and I do not see evil. The people here, I am but a stranger to them. I have yet to meet most of them, but they took me in, as they did you. If my ancestors were evil, they could not have created such good."
âWhatever evil you did, it can be forgiven. You can do good, be good.â You moved closer to him, placing a gentle hand on his arm. The feeling brought a sense of warmth that he had not felt since before he joined Morgoth, when he went by a different name. His eyes traveled down to where your hand rested, and you dropped it back to your side. He'd found himself missing the feeling.
"Your ancestors did do evil, though. They did plenty of evil things. Just as I have."
"Did they do evil out of the desire to be evil? Or did they do evil to protect those they loved? Were they born that way, destined to be only evil? Were you made evil? Or was it thrust upon you in a moment of hopelessness? Does every being have the capability to do both good and evil?"
He was left stunned at what you said, it took longer than usual for him to come up with a response. He wet his lips, looking over the ocean for a moment before looking at you once more. Your hair was gently blowing in the breeze of the ocean and he found the sight captivating. His intuition told him you were telling the truth, that you believed the words you were saying with your whole being. How could that be? There had to be some darkness that motivated you, that tainted your soul.
Everyone had darkness.
His mind played over the interaction long after it had happened. He wanted to feel that warmth again. You were a puzzle, a mystery. He would not know peace until he figured out what darkness was inside you because surely there had to be something. It was one of the many things that plagued his mind late at night. He watched as you slept peacefully. You were rows and rows down from him, but he could zoom in on your form. He watched your chest rise and fall, the calm of your features. You were a mystery that he had to solve.
This was what was on his mind when the worm attacked. He needed to know you. Even now, he watched as you attempted to help an elderly woman stuck under a beam instead of rushing to safety yourself. He couldn't bring himself to save the old man, but his fingers wrapped around the relic, and as water rushed the ship, he lept over and shielded your body with his.
He couldn't let you die. He had to understand you, to know you, to find out what motivated you, he would find your inner darkness.
And if he couldn't, he'd ruin you instead.
next
#halbrand x reader#sauron x reader#halbrand x oc#sauron x oc#rings of power x reader#rings of power fanfiction#trop fanfiction#trop x reader#lotr x reader#lotr fanfic#lord of the rings x reader#lord of the rings fanfiction#///mine#And Comes Dawn.
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Hi I hope youâre well!! I just read the new chapter of the cat sitter and ugh I love that series so fucking much!! I was listening to a song and just knew you could create this.
So it a Max x reader smau where the reader is a mega pop star. Like Taylor Swift big and all eyes are on her. She gets invited to an F1 race by Redbull and joins their after party and gets to meet Max. Unfortunately Max is still dating K*lly. Reader is completely enamored by Max and writes break up with your girlfriend, Iâm bored literally released it the next week. Everyone is losing their fucking mind trying to figure out who it is. Max knows itâs about him and heâs playing it cool and breaks it off with K*lly and starts secretly dating reader. Reader drops an album full of love/spicy songs like Gorgeous, Lover, Dress, 34+35, Positions etc etc and fucking hard launches them. Thanks!! If this is way too long and convoluted feel free to ignore.
Canât wait to read more of your work because you absolutely body smau, itâs so good and the meme reaction pictures you use *chefs kiss*
break up with your girlfriend, iâm bored ⧠max verstappen
max verstappen x fem! singer! reader
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I LOVE THIS IDEA!! thank you @todaynotseen for your requestđ¤
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ynupdates guess who is spotted at the paddock! y/n is at the austin gp as red bullâs special guest đĽ°
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username SLAY đ§ââď¸
username canât wait to see her interactions with the drivers!
username iâm surprised that she even had the time to go to a race? i thought she was super busy with the tourđ
âł username i hope sheâs taking care of herselfđĽ˛
username THAT OUTFIT?!??! đđ
username im not saying that y/n is the most beautiful girl that has ever walked the earth but that is exactly what im saying đ¤ˇđťââď¸
username Hey @/redbullracing, how about inviting someone who actually gets F1 for a change? Iâm so sick of seeing a random celebrity who probably donât know a thing about racing
âł username uHM excuse me?!?? y/nâs brother has always been a big fan of f1 and she often goes with him to watch the racesđ
username maâam please get back to the studio, i need more musicđŠ
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yourusername my muse <3
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maxverstappen1 Loverđ
taylorswift đ
landonorris Max canât stop singing your songs đ
âł danielricciardo Yeah, itâs getting annoying
âł maxverstappen1 Ok, no signed CD for you guys
âł landonorris WHAT NO IM SORRY PLEASE DONT MY SISTER WILL KILL ME đ
brotherusername đŠđŠđŠ
âł yourusername couldnât do this without you big brođ
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pictures (c) to pinterest and instagram
#max verstappen#formula 1#f1#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen social media#max verstappen smau#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 one shot#f1 social media#f1 smau#archiverstappen
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do you believe me now? | 4
in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.
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18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses
(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!
âThree million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.â
Youâve lost count of how many stupid math questions youâve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think youâve finally stumped him.Â
âThat one is complicated.â
You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye.Â
âYou donât know.â
âI do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you arenât a math person.â
âBullshit!â You scoff, âyou donât know!â
âIt would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. Itâs a really big number.â
âOh, really big, huh?â you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. âUm⌠what numbers did I say?â
Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign.Â
You look at it.Â
And then you set your phone down.Â
âI was right, huh?â he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness.Â
Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder.Â
âI donât like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?â
Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside.Â
âThe e stands for exponent. Itâs to the power of ten.â
âEver heard of a rhetorical question?â
âYes, I have.â
Itâs hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes.Â
âYouâre annoying. Letâs do something else.â
You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, heâs still in his suit from workâheâd left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment.Â
He looks good. Almost too good.Â
âSomething like what?â he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek.Â
âSomething⌠naked?â
His grin widens and he shakes his head.Â
âMe naked or you naked?â
Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth.Â
âMm⌠why not both?â
âHm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?â
The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencerâs to kiss him.Â
âBecause youâre so smart, and you think itâs a great idea.â
He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.
âYou sound sure of yourself.â
âBecause I am!â You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. âIt doesnât make any sense for us to have not had sex. I donât care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.â
He grabs your wrist carefully.Â
âIt is not moral,â he scoffs. âWe havenât even talked about it yet.â
âReally? Because I feel like weâve talked about it a lot.âÂ
He begins to reply, but you realize you donât want to get into a debate over whether youâve technically talked about it yet. âI donât even care! If thatâs all thatâs standing in your way, then letâs talk about it. Right now.â
Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek.Â
âFine. But I have things to say youâre not going to like.â
âSo business as usual?â
He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best.Â
âI know you probably wonât see it this way, butâsex is different than everything else weâve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connectionâthatâs all true. Which is why, in my opinion, itâs incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because itâs so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust andâand⌠care about.â
A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.
Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. Youâll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesnât ache just a little in your whole body.Â
You cover his hand with your own.Â
âAre you going to break up with me anytime soon?â
Spencerâs eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion.Â
âWhat? No!â
âAre you going to cheat on me?â
âAbsolutely not, Iââ
âThen Iâm not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.â
âHoney, I just want you to be 100% sure that Iâm what you want.â
âOh my god,â you groan, flopping onto your back once more. âI have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I donât know how to be any surer.â
Itâs quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal youâd been anticipating doesnât comeâinstead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies.Â
âEvery time?â
ââŚyes, every time,â you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks.Â
âInteresting. And what is it that you think about exactly?â
You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way heâs sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know itâs a false pretense.Â
âUgh, I donât know! Donât make me answer that!â
âYou said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,â he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. âTell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.â
You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this.Â
âI⌠I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.â
Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy.Â
âIt might, sweetheart. Thatâs one of the reasons weâve held back. IâŚÂ really donât want to hurt you. I donât even know if I can.â
You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel.Â
âSometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.â
He kisses your palm.Â
âYouâll be okay. It doesnât hurt for everyone, and even if it does, youâre resilient.â
âExactly. So you have to get over yourself.â
Spencer laughs like he wasnât expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you. Â
âYeah. Yeah, maybe I do.â
Heâs smiling again as he leans down and kisses youâa slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him.Â
âPlease?â you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you.Â
âWhat is it that you think you want? You donât even know what youâre asking for.â
âTell me,â you beg, chasing his lips. âTell me what youâre going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.â
Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly.Â
âYou want to know what Iâd do to you?â
âYesââ you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesnât stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds.Â
âWell⌠we both know how anxious you get,â he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. âYouâre hard to get out of your head when youâre nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute youâre with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch youâso first I would touch you like Iâve touched you before. Iâd make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.â You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. âYouâre going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?â
As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no.Â
âI mean I need you relaxed and wet. Youâll excuse my crude language.â
You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on itâs almost painful.Â
âWhat are you gonna do after that?â
âWhat else is there to do but fuck you after that?â he breathes. âYou want me to tell you how Iâd fuck you?â
Something about it makes you whine salaciously. Youâve heard him curseâyouâve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when itâs low in your ear and youâre covertly undressing him and heâs pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly.Â
âYes, please.âÂ
He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting.Â
âI would have to take my time with you. Youâll be overwhelmed. I know you think you wonât, but you will. Iâm going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. Itâs going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.â
âWhy careful? I donât want that.â
He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine.Â
âYeah, you do. Youâre going to want me to be careful when Iâmââ he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. âRight here. Approximately.â
The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it.Â
âPlease donât make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I donât want it to be anyone else. I promise Iâm ready.â
Itâs silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. Heâs finally going to give you what youâve been begging for.Â
Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmeringâ
And then his phone rings.Â
You both freezeâhe melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present.Â
Heâs breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing.Â
âIâm sorry.â
Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.
âThis is Reid,â he says, lackluster.Â
If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is sayingâbut you donât bother listening. Itâs going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem.Â
âOkay. Iâll be there in an hour.â
He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfullyâtaking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest.Â
âI have to go right now,â he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place.Â
You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipperâthough all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand.Â
âI know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.â
He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair.Â
âI donât love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?â
You force a smile. Great. So youâll be spending the night in his bed after allâjust without him.Â
âSure. Thanks.â
âYeah.â
Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful.Â
Soon youâre walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front.Â
âIâm sorry,â he sighs again.Â
âSpencer, itâs fine. Itâs your job. You donât need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.â
âI know, but⌠itâs easier in theory than in practice.â
You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesnât quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and heâs missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you.Â
But itâs not their fault. You just want someone to blame.Â
Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you.Â
In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound itâs like a chemical reactionâeverywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It is a fever dream. Itâs every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul.Â
âSpencer?â
âHm?âÂ
Itâs nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin.Â
âIâŚâ
Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesnât change the fact that heâs about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential.Â
He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands.Â
âYou what?â He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuckâyou feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind.Â
âI forget.â
FUUUUUUCK.Â
Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake.Â
He knows.Â
He knows you didnât forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and heâs going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity.Â
Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like.Â
âWell, let me know if you remember.â
Itâs too gentle and at the same time he canât hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.
Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly theyâd interacted before.Â
You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bedâthough you donât really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.
But perhaps this is all an overreaction. Itâs not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anythingâit was bad timing, anyway. And why canât he say it? In fact, why hasnât he said it?Â
Maybe you have it all wrong.Â
Maybe he doesnât feel that way about you.Â
You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick.Â
24 hours go by.Â
24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartmentâit was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldnât call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadnât left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries youâd used up.Â
Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure.Â
Before you know it, itâs midnight, and youâre dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush youâd bought at the storeâmaybe this whole situation hadnât been entirely unwitting on your part.)
Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If itâs something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how youâre able to doze off.Â
Youâre almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern whoâs even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because youâre half asleep, you answer without checking.Â
âHello?â
Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep.Â
âShit, did I wake you?â
âSpence?â you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed.Â
â⌠yeah,â he chuckles. âDid you not check who was calling before you picked up?â
âI was asleep,â you pout. âKinda.â
âOkay. Go back to sleep, honey. Weâll talk tomorrow.â
You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone.Â
âNo! No, Iâm awake. Whatâs up? Why did you call?â
A longer stretch of silenceâyouâre too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadnât said.Â
âI just needed to hear your voice,â he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room.Â
âOh. Is everything okay?â
âAs much as it can be.â
âRight.â
More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you havenât had with Spencer in a while.Â
âIâm sorry⌠I donât really know what to say.â
âThatâs okay,â he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, âwhy donât you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if youâre too tired.â
âDonât ask me about my day,â you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs.Â
âWhat? Why?â
âBecause if I tell you youâre going to think Iâm super weird and youâre going to break up with me.â
Laughter tapers off into gentler tones.Â
âI already think youâre super weird. Itâs actually one of your most attractive qualities.â
Blood rushes to your cheeks.Â
âBut itâs like⌠borderline crazy.â
Immediately, he replies, âfor better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.â
âThank you for calling me crazy and super weird,â you grumble.Â
âI also called you attractive twice. Tell me.â
When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and itâs sort of raspy and low because itâs late and heâs been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his faceâyou imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphoneâyou have a very difficult time saying no.Â
âFine. Guess where I am right now.â
âUm, I would hope youâre in bed?â
You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly.Â
âGuess whose bed.â
Silence.Â
âWhat an interesting question.â That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. âIf itâs not mine or yours, weâre going to have issues.â
âBut if it is yours? Youâre not going to call the police on me?â
âWhy would I call the police? To tell them thereâs a pretty girl in my bed and I donât want her there?â
âTo tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages there.â
Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.
âIf you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.â The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. âButâyeah, donât invite anyone else in.â More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. âHaving people in my space makes me anxious.â
âBut not me?â Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencerâs reply is soft, as if heâs picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.
âNo, not you. You are always the exception.â
âGood,â you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. âBecause I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.â
Spencer groans.Â
âYouâre killing me.â
âWhat? What did I do!â
âDonât talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think youâre intentionally being a brat.â
âYou asked me about my day! Iâm just telling you what I did!â
But youâre also intentional teasing him for sure.  After a pause, he sighs in defeat.Â
âYouâre right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.â
âWell,â you begin, all too eager, âI had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, andââ
âOkay.â
âOkay what?â you frown.Â
âTell me what this is.â
âIâI donât know what you mean.â
Lying to a profiler is usually pointless.Â
âIâm not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.â
Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up.Â
âI donât know. I miss you.â
He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.  It changes the frequency youâre vibrating at. Itâs hypnotic.Â
âBut thatâs not really why youâre being intentionally provocative, is it?â
âNo,â you admit quietly. âIâm still upset you had to go last night.â
âSo youâre frustrated and youâre taking it out on me?â
Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like thatâŚ
âIâm not taking anything out on you.â
âI think you are. And I donât appreciate that, because Iâm on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?â
Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you donât understand.Â
âYour bed with me,â you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket.Â
âRight. So why donât you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?â
âI wasnât punishing you,â you mutter.Â
âNo? You werenât intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that Iâd have to think about what I canât have right now?â
âIââ
âBelieve me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I canât have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you canât say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts Iâve been having about you for seventeen hours.â
The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges.Â
âWhat⌠what thoughts?â
âNone that you need to concern yourself with.â
âYou canât just say something like that and then not tell me!â you insist. Heâs obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and itâs fair but it doesnât mean you have to like it.Â
âI can do whatever I want,â Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because heâs right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within youâa desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it.Â
âFine. Then so can I. And thereâs nothing you can do to stop me.â
âI wouldnât dream of it even if I could.â
âSpencer,â you warn. âIf you donât tell me what you were thinking Iâm gonnaââ you look around the room for ammo. âIâm gonna look through your nightstand!â
âGo ahead. Iâll warn you, itâs not very interesting.â
âSounds like what someone who has something hide would say,â you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer.Â
Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contentsâa small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, andâ
âSpencer Reid,â you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, âwhat are these?â
âI donât know. I canât see what youâre referring to.â
âTake a wild guess.â
âOh, I have one. But Iâd like to hear you say it.â
You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Wellâthey donât say karma is a bitch for nothing.Â
âWhat are you doing with a box of condoms?âÂ
He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you.Â
âThose are years old. Iâve used three since I bought them.â
âDonât tell me that,â you whine. âI donât wanna think about all the other women youâve seduced.â
âYou wanted them to be for you, huh?âÂ
You flush. Honestly you hadnât even thought about that.Â
âI⌠I donât know. I kind of just assumedâŚâ
Itâs silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadnât even considered protection when youâd imagined sleeping with him before.Â
âYou assumed what, honey?â he asks, voice soft.Â
âItâs dumb. I canât tell you.â
âYou can tell me anything. Iâm not going to think itâs dumb, I promise.â
You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest.Â
âWhenever I imagined it⌠we didnâtâŚÂ use anything.â
The words make you cringe even as youâre saying them. So does the quiet that follows.Â
âWhen you imagine us sleeping together, we donât use a condom?â
âAh!â The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. âYou didnât have to say it! You make me sound so weird!â
âItâs not weird,â he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, âI just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said⌠we would definitely use protection.â
âDo we have to?â
The quiet words take even you by surpriseâand they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts.Â
âWe really should, baby. Thatâs the kind of thing we need to take seriously.â
âBut youâre⌠youâre good, right?â
Thankfully he picks up on your meaning.Â
âI am. I wouldnât touch you if I werenât.â
âAnd Iâm good. So...â
âHm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?â
You groan in frustration.Â
âSpencer, Iâm being serious! There are ways to negate that.â
âHoney,â he murmurs, âI understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, butââ
âIâm telling you itâs already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.â
The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaksâto your surprise, his voice is low and humorous.Â
âThat is⌠good to know. But even soâIâm setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.â
âIs it such a bad thing that I just wannaâI wanna know what it feels like? You donât want that?â
âThatâs not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. Iâm just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.â
You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them.Â
âYou know what I was thinking about?â you ask. Spencer hums curiously. âI was thinking about when you let me, um⌠when you let me touch you how you touch me.â He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.
âWhen you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?â
âWhen Iâyeah,â you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. âAnd  how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like⌠inside me.â
He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like youâre not touching yourself just a little bit.Â
âYou want me to come inside you?â
âYeah,â you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice.Â
â
On the other side of the line, Spencer isnât doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and itâs only getting worse with each little noise you make that you donât seem to realize youâre making.Â
âReally? That would be very messy, baby. Iâm surprised thatâs what you want.â
âBut I really want it,â you breathe. Heâs not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or notâbut heâs here now.Â
âYeah? Is that why youâre touching yourself right now?â
You go silentâwhich is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, twoâ
ââM not.â
Now, he could explain how he knows thatâs a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesnât feel like explaining any of that.Â
âI know thatâs not true,â he murmurs. âYou know what? It wasnât fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I donât want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.â
You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers.Â
âWhere are you touching?â
âUmâover my clothes.â
Cute.Â
âGo under them for me. Tell me how it feels when youâre touching yourself like that.â
It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until youâre whispering, âfeels⌠it feels good. I wish you were here.â
He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base.Â
âI know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. Iâm right here.â
Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines whatâs happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut.Â
âI need them inside,â you whine, and he knows youâre referring to his fingersâthe ones currently stroking his own leaking cock.Â
âYou can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?â
âI am readyââ judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, youâve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. âSpence, it doesnât feel the same.â
âWeâre different sizes, honey. Your hands arenât as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.âÂ
He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower thirdâin other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reachâbut he refrains. Heâs not sure if thatâs good dirty talk.Â
âYou have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. Itâs going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?â
âOkay,â you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. Thereâs a quiet moment. âI canâtâI donât think I can râoh,â
The moan is so pretty Spencer canât help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump.Â
âDid you find it?â
âYeah,â you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. âOh my god.â
âBe gentle,â he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. âYouâre really sensitive there. If youâre not careful youâll make yourself sore.â
âI donât careâholy shitââ the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. âOh my god, Spencer,â in that same strained, high voice. ââM gonnaâah!â
He gets the general sentiment.Â
âWhat, baby? Youâre gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?â
âMhm!â
âYeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?â
âYes,â you cry.Â
âSee? You donât need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you canât stop squirming. I donât know how you think youâre going to take my cock.â
âSpencer!âÂ
He knows.Â
âCome, baby. Let me hear you.â
The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his ownâgrunting as he comes all over his fist.Â
âJesus,â he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. Heâs lightheaded and heâs created a mess and it all happened so quickly. âFuck,â he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel heâd dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. âYou conscious over there?â
âIâm conscious,â you slur, breathing heavily. âIâve never had an orgasm by myself before.â
âAre you proud of yourself?â Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure heâs otherwise clean. âYou should be. I am.â
Heâs barely kidding.Â
âIâll be proud when I can do it without your help,â you tease.Â
âBut Iâll always want to help you with that.â His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what heâd said. âSorry I was so vulgar.â
You laugh. He blushes even more.Â
âAre you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.â
âI donât know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and Iâm genuinely appalled.â
âWell, donât stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.â
âYeah, I think Iâm corrupting you. You probably shouldnât enjoy it.â
The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but heâs pretty sure his voice alone doesnât betray that and you canât sense it through the phone.Â
âOh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop Iâll be very upset.â
âWell god forbid you get upset,â he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason heâs suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide.Â
Or if it was something else. It could also be something else.Â
For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you.Â
â
A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, youâre mapping constellations in the texture of Spencerâs ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine heâs really here.Â
You think about what he saidâhis apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?
âSpencer?â you murmur.Â
âYeah?â
âCan I ask you a question?â
He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, âalways,â through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength.Â
âIf Penelope hadnât called, last night⌠were you going to have sex with me?âÂ
Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like heâs about to speakâand lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink.Â
âI donât know,â he finally admits, lamely. âThat wasnât my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.â
âBut why canât it be your plan?â Itâs an almost whine, pouty and childishâbut the next words are quiet and pained. âIs it something Iâm doing wrong?â
âNo, no! Itâs not you. Youâre perfect. Itâsâitâs complicated. Itâs a me thing.â
Such trite wordsâsuch a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know heâs capable of all the eloquence in the world. Itâs not you, itâs me. Itâs ridiculous.Â
âOkay. Let me simplify this for you,â you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. âI want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or weâre not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And Iâm not eternally patient, Reid.â
Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue.Â
âWatch your mouth,â he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. âWhen you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.â You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. âYou know what I want. Iâve been very clear with you about that. ButâŚâ
âButâŚ?â
Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared.Â
âButâbut to be completely honest⌠I worry that youâll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and Iâm not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and itâs incredibly intimate and I donât want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.â
The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing himâthat you could never, ever regret anything about himâone thing stands out.Â
âYou regret your first time?âÂ
Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell heâs not annoyed at you for asking so much as heâs flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does.Â
âYeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The personâshe didnâtâŚÂ like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasnât in love with meâor maybe she was, I donât knowâbut my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about meâthatâs fine. Itâs fine. I donât want you to feel bad if we donât feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, itâs different, IâI just donât want us to do something we canât undo because I donât want to relive that. And Iâm not saying it will never happen but I just donât want you to make this choice when⌠when right now, I think weâre in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I donât want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didnât understand. Iâm sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But Iâve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.â
Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the worldâs worst case of whiplash.Â
Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins.Â
What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesnât feel the same.Â
You want to scream bloody murder.Â
But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, âoh.â
Maybe thatâs worse.Â
Spencer doesnât reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence.Â
âI didnât realize youâŚâ
I didnât realize that you donât love me back.Â
I didnât realize I like you more than you like me.Â
I didnât realize youâd tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later.Â
If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesnât love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was.Â
âIâm sorry,â he lamely says again, like it could ever help.Â
More silence. Now you canât bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does.Â
âI realize how awkward this is. I really didnât mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when Iâgod, Iâm stupid. Iâm sorry. But can weâcan we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?â
Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why heâs not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?
What does one even wear to a breakup date?
âOkay,â you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like youâve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound.Â
Spencer sighs. Itâs a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more.Â
âOkay. Iâokay. Thank you. UmâIâll let you go back to sleep, now.â
âOkay,â you repeatâas if any of this were okay. But you canât keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if itâs not, youâre silly and dramatic and youâre just proving him right.Â
âGoodnight,â Spencer whispers, and you canât help but feeling that itâs the last time youâll ever hear those words from his mouth while youâre in his bed. And heâs not even fucking here.
So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because theyâll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here.Â
âGoodnight.â
-
part five
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