#(But Three is 99% sure it's One)
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I just realized that Fennec Shand has met only Hunter and Wrecker.
By telling Crosshair to stay on Pabu with Omega, Hunter wasn't just pushing his brother towards rest and recovery but also protecting him from any more potential enemies.
#if Tech and Echo had still been with the Batch I'm pretty sure he would've made them stay too#his squad (aliit) is his priority above everything and everyone else#plus he knows Crosshair has probably been through hell and back even if the sniper won't admit it#Hunter's pretty much decided that they've all been through enough#the only reasons he lets Wrecker tag along is because#a. Hunter's a man ruled by logic and practicality. He knows he can't take on Shand alone even if he would rather do so#b. the past three months he's only had Wrecker at his side. He knows Wrecker's strengths and limits even better#c. Wrecker's the only one he can decide with certainty ready for a mission#Shand is an unknown variable and Hunter refuses to give her as little foothold against them as he can manage#tbb#the bad batch#clone force 99#sw tbb#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#fennec shand
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Gerzlaem
Three beasts for the price of one! The first thing I noticed is the entry says there's three types of gerzlaem but only describes two. What is the third kind? The Goldilocks gerzlaem, with wavy fur, medium height, and moderate danger? I have to know.
Next step was thinking of some real animals to pull from. While some of the description feels clearly feline (long tail, paws, carnivore) it also gave me goat vibes (roams mountains, nimble (these are also cat traits, I don't know why I kept thinking of goats)). I settled on two local animals, the mountain goat and the mountain lion (aka cougar, puma, etc).
I'm really charmed by mountain goats in summer with their fleece half peeled of. I decided that the three kinds of gerzlaem are the same animal in different seasons.
The text is lyrics from "We Do It Different on the West Coast" by The Mountain Goats. I could explain my reasoning, but I don't think it'll help.
#gerzlaem#maniculum bestiaryposting#artist: me :)#I have a guess but I'm really not sure#I'm 99% certain it's some kind of cat#but what kind?#I do recognize the bit about being dead for three days and revived by the father's breath tho#So maybe they just had a very different idea of the animal#Because the one I'm thinking of is *not* solitary
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etsy REALLY does not want me to buy a vash button
#they cancelled my order TWICE#the last three things ive bought on etsy have been vash but no this one is fraud ig#im 99% sure its bc ive changed addresses multiple times in a relatively short period#which like. for ME that's not bc i have a tenuous living situation it was just college housing being what it is#but like. kinda fucked up if that's grounds for etsy to fuck with your account lmao
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finally gathered the strength to lower the dose of one of my meds that i want to quit and oh god am i anxious today after taking three quarters of my usual dose,,, wish me luck or something, this is just day one
#i hope if i survive day one its gonna get easier but who knows#im 99% sure the anxiety is just nocebo effecy#cause ive read so many horror stories of people quitting these meds and having a horrible time#and i went down 25% instead of 10% which would be ideal#but i just cannot split this tiny pill into 10 chunks#and we don't have liquid version of them anywhere#this is still a slow taper like im planning to stay on this dose for three weeks#but I'm still scared#mostly of it giving me gastrointestinal symptoms cause my emetophobia is Bad#so yeah. we'll see how it goes#so far im just more anxious and thats it
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But there is no Coach store here! How am I supposed to know if the bags I thrifted for, like, an absolute max of $8 each are authentic?!
#Before you ask yes I have googled#Extensively#I have quite a large collection of bags most of which I am 99% sure are real#I got a 1991 Coach City Bag for literally like $4#Condition your leather people!#It didn't look like much because it was dirty and dry but now it looks wow!#There are three specific ones I am just absolutely stuck on#I have googled all the things#I do not want to pay $20 each to authenticate#I THINK one is real and the other two are fake#And I can't match the serial number on the real one because it's a 70s/80s bag
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similar to the greentext stuff - i was visiting with my neighbors and their grandkids were around, and I said to this eight year old, "Hey, you wanna know something cool? I was playing the game when the Endermen came out." and his eyes went wide, like this kid looked like i told him i landed on the moon. His grandma thought it was really funny, and she said she has no idea what i'm talking about, but her grandbabies do, and that's incredible to her.
oh that's fun lmao, when minecraft & that update's existed for more than your whole life, and yknow being that young and like Next Year fr is this huge time scale away, a couple of years is a quarter of your life thus far and like maybe nigh half of the part of your life you actually have longterm memories for....i was checking out this dev's blog's archives about a:tdd's release in 2010 & in one entry they compared the implicitly Roughly concurrent release of Minecraft and i was like hey whoah. forever primarily being a game i've Heard Of more than any more direct exposure so i had no precise sense of [before minecraft release] [after minecraft release] Year 0 there but it's like for sure back in thee day when minecraft was a new thing, huh
#add in that [i also basically Heard Of mass effect but that's a game series w/a 2010 median which i had Any knowledge abt already]#so i have that reference point for a still like [niche video for When You've Played These Games For Sure] there but then like#if you were ten or even 5 yrs younger at the time you May Well Be much more at sea as your starting point there#(but i mean not that much; i didn't know a ton. reread those wikipedia plot summaries myself)#enderman came out? happy pride#shoutout to this one time i crossed paths w/this kid who was at the time probably like late middle school early high school age#who started talking abt pokemon like Clearly A Big Interest and i'm like my only Direct experience is playing pokemon go but i know Some#stuff b/c i was 5 in '99 when it was first making that huge splash lol. can make Some remarks....but also just Listening Attentively To You#Monologue like uh huh go off....i sure remember like the Sense of a couple yr's sagacity like being 9 i think reading a book abt 6th or 7th#graders (i.e. two or three yrs older) like My God They Must Be So Mature....#and like ofc when skimming passages as an adult it's like omg l'enfants. Both Perspectives Being Accurate respectively lol#my vintage experiences like i've def saved things on the floppy discs of [save icons imagery]. have heard the dialup tones organically....#but also; say; Home Computers That You Didn't Really Need To Know Much Abt Computers To Use were forever an everyday thing for me#having been born mid '90s....vs like in the '80s being nicher but also like. the programs to amateur code not being As Complex either#like [working on cars] of yore vs more modernly lmao....plus ofc in their designs; opening up a desktop Tower vs what? a tablet??#ppl my age who had more substantial Online Access earlier than i did maybe having at least picked up some html; which i did not lol#also didn't have too much Gamer Experience ever; what i did largely desktop then laptop pc wasd+mouse style....#didn't have a smartphone till maybe 5 yrs after they were starting to become more commonplace#vs that again to an 8 yr old of today [commonplacer smartphones] is your whole life basically too. i remember when we flipped those phones.#(i do fr lol. did have one of those first for a good while.)#granpa granpa....mh being fourteen yrs old meaning like the Teen Fans of Today were probably not watching it as it aired lol#whereas i Was that teen fan of those yesteryears. and all my stories for it like fuckin uhhhhhh [crickets chirping] [studio audience laugh]#though You Don't Need The Fans like mh is a long movie ppl can newly discover Whenever that holds up; plus it has bonus lore#mostly what i could even Possibly bring is just the particularly nicher older bonus lore. but like grandpa simpson (the simpsons) for sure#which is to say: humorously irrelevant & perhaps somewhat cantankerous#whilest i'm vaguely aware there may have also been that minecraft resurgence (esp through streaming?) from 2020 on....#but evidently Like Mh something that continually revives / takes on New Fans / Participants#for sure i might well be playing some tf2 myself if i had the technical capability (i would have the poor personal ability i always did lol#real games of yore but it never gets old also. though i know Of Late there was a bot problem / just neglected maintenance? that get fixed?#These Have Been The Tag Tangents. maxed out thirty tags i know that's right
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happy birthday to the incredible paul bellini!!! may this be the best bellini day ever
(picture on the left is from the first mouth congress concert i went to last december and picture on the right is from my first ever zoom with paul bellini which is going to be exactly a year ago in a few weeks. so surreal how far our friendship has come since then, he's genuinely like family now)
#uncle paul <3#i should make a ''top ten paul bellini moments'' thing some day. the chia pet story is number one#but also shoutout to literally the first thing he ever said to me on that zoom#i was like ''just so you know i'm feeling a little starstruck right now'' and he was deadpan like ''you'll get over it in 5 minutes.'''#and i did <3. but just because i'm not starstruck doesn't mean i've ever stopped being excited that he knows who i am#also i'm like 99% sure that i reminded the kith instagram to make a bellini post today lmao. i posted this exact thing on instagram#and the kith account liked it and then 5 minutes later posted happy birthday paul bellini like i'm out here reminding people it's bellinida#last thing. this is not a post about scott but can i just take a moment to appreciate how far my friendship with scott has come#just looking at the pics of us together???#like the one on the left here. that's the first time i ever met scott so obviously he wasn't as familiar with me as paul#so he's just kind of posing doesn't look as excited (plus he was tired it was like 3 a.m. that's fine)#but look at the ''family photo'' i took with all three of my guys in june??? (the one where he's directly next to me)#he looks SO HAPPY by then it's such a difference! like over the course of those months he did get to know me better#and now any time i'm in town it's a whole Event with everyone trying to get their jess-time lmao#as i was falling asleep last night i was thinking about how different that new year's eve trip would be if i went up this year vs last year#just bc everyone knows me a lot better#and it just makes me so happy. character development all around
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Month 9, day 11
Happy American Day of Terrorism, I'm sorry we've made it the rest of the planet's problem.
In happier news, I finished the shading on Knell's right-hand wings! :D
#the great artscapade of 2023#art#my art#forspoken#forspoken fan art#forspoken oc#forspoken original character#oc: knell#in less happy news one of my workmates had covid last week ):#and I was also sick all last week#luckily my covid test came back negative but I just took an at-home test today *after* I'm mostly over whatever gunk I had#so idk how accurate that is#but also like whatever I had hit all the halmark symptoms of strep and also I'm 99% sure that Covid doesn't cause tonsilitis either#so I'm almost certain I had strep#should have gotten tested and meds for that but oh look hindsight is three years ago and it SUCKED
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I’m fully losing itttttt.
I now have what’s sure to be a raging headache and my chest hurtsss. Because I had the audacity to put the baked oatmeal in the freezer and then shower.
#I need to lay down to get my hr below fucking 90 for more than 2 minutes#but my hair is wet from said shower and if I lay on it it’ll be fucked#on one hand I should probably talk to a doctor about this because it’s been plaguing me all week#I almost passed out because I bent over to get something from under the sink while making scones#but on the other hand I’m 99% sure I’ll just get told that the only problem I could possibly have is caused by being overweight#you know#because doctors suck and I’ve never once gotten a different diagnosis#like in college I was as fit as I’ve ever been and was hit with hard fatigue for a month straight and it was fucking with my life#I also just felt nauseous all the time and flipped hard between too hot and too cold in a static temp room#they called me a week later to tell me all my lab results were normal but that i likely just needed to lose weight#I spent 24/7 walking back and forth across campus and doing stairs because I was a double major#with three jobs and an actual social life#but yeah everything was totally normal and not concerning at all 🙄#i need a new personal tag#idk
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now my second cannabis plant got bud rot :( why can nothing ever be easy
#i already had to harvest one even though it was 1-2 weeks too early and cut out all the bad parts and water cured the rest#i want to make infused oil from them anyways but i wouldve liked to also just regularly dry & cure some for smoking for my sister#i still have three more plants who arent as far along in their flowering but i'm like 99% sure they will also get it at some point its so#humid outside and its so shitty to see these nice buds grow and then boom mold :(#personal
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once again devastated that I don't know how to make video games because my video game dreams are literally the coolest
#This one might be the most complicated game I've had so far tho#Like... Bc it's multiplayer and has no real ending#It's like Minecraft apocalypse edition ig#Like.. there is plot. But there's no other humans around unless you invite friends over#And like. Idk how to explain it? But you gather resources#You start with a boat and a basic fishing rod and your flute#And you actually don't have any songs for the flute in the beginning but you absolutely can learn them#By finding radios around the world#Also the world is made of like. Specific “levels”?#Like there's a city and some farmland and stuff#And. It's not that everything is flooded but you do get everywhere via boat#Which is why making sure your boat survives is very important bc you don't want to be stuck with evil possums and no way home#And then you like. Build your base in a specific “level” where a lot of the basic game lore can be found#And you can tame beasts from the overworld and stuff#And get upgrades to fish automatically to automate survival#And slowly you can begin to prosper#And then you go tread old ground and find more stuff now that you're not scared it'll kill you#Because so what if there's a drowned beast in the closet of upside down house you have your own beasts to beat it for you#My favorite part was actually arriving at the base of whoever was playing in my dream tho#Like bc they actually super upgraded the shack#So while it starts as a mostly decrepit fishing shack#With a fireplace to cook your catch so you don't starve and a bed#They got everything furnished nice and cleared to dead trees outside to get some farms going#And made a lot of the cool little structures like the ones that allow for beast breeding (so you get more beasts to fight for you)#And also remade all the walls so they're wood and glass#Also I love how they named their river beast martha that's lovely#Anyways though because the world is like 99% abandoned by humans? Apparently if you fix stuff up enough you get a reputation#And then the three alive humans come talk to you and tell you lore stuff#Like how big company was about to celebrate 181 years and had a break in happen that killed the ceo and his wife#(which you learn from their kid)
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I feel incredibly bitchy today y'all
#I also have a headache#probably cause I haven't drank enough water#I'm also just#Man I've got so many things I just wanna bitch about#I got a couple drinks for my birthday that have been in the fridge for three fucking days#And all of a sudden one of my roommates decides they're a problem#They've been in there for three days and you didn't say shit until today?#WTH?#And her whole thing is wanting to be told when we have drinks in the apartment and to keep them out of shared spaces#Which would be fair if she hadn't had drinks in our fridge before#At left I am 99% sure she has#Maybe they were just some weird-ass energy drinks#And maybe I'm just on edge today#But this just kinda seems like BS#And just talking to my partner about it?#Instead of#oh I don't know#FUCKING TALKING TO ME WHEN YOU SAW ME DRINKING THEM?#Just feels kinda passive aggressive idk#A friend also posted a snippet from a H*zb*n H*tel smut fic into the discord last night so that pissed me off#I have nothing but animosity towards that show for so so many reasons#I just#I'm fuckin tired man
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Kamala Harris just announced that her vice president will be Minnesota governor Tim Walz. Based on the coverage so far I'm really reassured by this decision.
The Washington Post did an obviously great job of making a prepared article for each option, considering how long an article they had up 7 minutes after the announcement.
((Okay technically it's not an official announcement yet it's "according to three people familiar with the pick, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss a decision that is not yet public." But listen. I am 99% sure this is a weather balloon. (Meaning: a deliberate leak to gauge reaction.) Because the sheer weakness or incompetence on the part of the Harris campaign that it would take for three people to all confirm that within a few hours hours of each other and the planned announcement it is massive.))
-via The Washington Post, August 6, 2024
Honestly this decision, from everything I've read and can tell, looks like it's brilliant politics.
Important Context: The vice president(ial candidates)'s job in an election is not to be similar to the president. The vice president's job on the ballot is very, very much specifically to be different from the president. Why? So they can cover each others' weaknesses. Especially regionally.
(Sidenote: I feel a bit ridiculous saying this. But genuinely if you want to get a stronger understanding of how US elections really work. Go watch seasons 6 and 7 of The West Wing. Genuinely, a lot of politicians have said - especially back in its day - that that was the most accurate depiction of an election they'd ever seen. Also specifically features an entire arc about a contested Democratic primary convention, so also very good if you're interested in understanding weird nominating convention shenanigans.)
From the article:
"Harris’s choice for a running mate was among the most closely watched decisions of her fledgling campaign, as she sought to bolster the ticket’s prospects for victory in November and rapidly find someone who could be a governing partner. In picking Walz, she has selected a seasoned politician with executive governing experience and signaled the importance of Midwestern battleground states such as Wisconsin and Michigan.
Walz’s foray into politics came later in life: He spent more than two decades as a public school teacher and football coach, and as a member of the Army National Guard, before running for Congress in his 40s. In 2006, he defeated a Republican to win Minnesota’s 1st Congressional District--a rural, conservative area--and won reelection five times before leaving Congress to run for governor.
Walz was first elected governor in 2018 and handily won reelection in 2022. Though little-known outside his state, Walz emerged publicly as one of the earliest names mentioned as a possible running mate for Harris, and in the ensuing days he made the rounds on television as an outspoken surrogate for the vice president...
“These are weird people on the other side. They want to take books away, they want to be in your exam room. … They are bad on foreign policy, they are bad on the environment, they certainly have no health care plan, and they keep talking about the middle-class,” Walz told MSNBC in July. “As I said, a robber baron real estate guy and a venture capitalist trying to tell us they understand who we are? They don’t know who we are.”
Walz also has faced criticism from Republicans that his policies as governor were too liberal, including legalizing recreational marijuana for adults, protecting abortion rights, expanding LGBTQ protections, implementing tuition-free college for low-income Minnesotans and providing free breakfast and lunch for schoolchildren in the state.
But many of those initiatives are broadly popular. Walz also signed an executive order removing the college-degree requirement for 75 percent of Minnesota’s state jobs, a move that garnered bipartisan support and that several other states have also adopted.
“What a monster. Kids are eating and having full bellies, so they can go learn, and women are making their own health-care decisions,” Walz said sarcastically in a July 28 interview with CNN when questioned whether such policies would be fodder for conservative attacks, later adding: “If that’s where they want to label me, I’m more than happy to take the [liberal] label.”
Walz also spoke at a kickoff event in St. Paul for a Democratic canvassing effort, casting Trump as a “bully.”
“Don’t lift these guys up like they’re some kind of heroes. Everybody in this room knows--I know it as a teacher--a bully has no self-confidence. A bully has no strength. They have nothing,” Walz said at the event, sporting a camouflage hunting hat and T-shirt.
Walz has explained that he felt some Democrats’ practice of calling Trump an existential threat to democracy was giving him too much credit, which prompted his decision to denounce the GOP nominee instead as being “weird.”
“I do believe all those things are a real possibility, but it gives him way too much power," Walz said on CNN’s “State of the Union” regarding the Democrats’ rhetoric. “Listen to the guy. He’s talking about Hannibal Lecter, shocking sharks, and just whatever crazy thing pops into his mind.”
If Walz is elected vice president, under state law, Minnesota Lt. Gov. Peggy Flanagan (D) would assume the governorship for the rest of his term. Minnesota Senate president Bobby Joe Champion, a Democrat, would become lieutenant governor."
-via The Washington Post, August 6, 2024
--
This guy. Sounds like. fucking Moderate swing-state/rural/Midwestern/southern/"heartland"/working class white voter catnip. He sounds like he's also a very smart politician and strong campaigner. And he's apparently genuinely a good guy with a good record, too.
He sounds like he's going to do a really good job of appealing to voters in several of the big deal swing states without being from any of them specifically. Which means it doesn't feel like pandering to one of the states involved (and thereby spurning the others), which is also great.
(Also he was the one who started "weird" @ conservatives and I think we should take that seriously as a very good political instinct/move. Judging in large part by how it has so clearly hit an actual nerve with conservatives like so little else. Also hugely relevant: that post going around about how part of why conservatives are so upset about "weird" is because in the Midwest, "weird" specifically also implies anti-social or harmful behavior.)
Officially feeling more optimistic about Trump not winning in November
#tim walz#minnesota#united states#us politics#kamala harris#harris 2024#2024 elections#election 2024#us elections#american politics#2024 presidential election#vice president#2024 election#kamala 2024#shoutout here to the post that
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our apartment is quite expensive for its size and general quality and a good ⅓ of the price tag is because we have a Nest thermostat installed - not by choice, it came with the apartment. supposed to be a smart thermostat that saves us money on our electric bill
it's the stupidest thing in this got dam apartment and i'm including the cat who forgets about the window three seconds after she runs into it face first
it will only turn the heat on if it thinks there's people in the apartment, right? makes sense. apparently how it judges this is motion sensor
the SINGULAR motion detector is in the fucking DINING ROOM. every morning for the past two weeks we have woken up to a 55 degree apartment because us THERE IS ONLY ONE FUCKING MOTI0N DETECTOR IN THE WHOLE APARTMENT and the heat shuts off an hour after we go to bed
smart thermostat my ASS
#voxbox#and by 'quality' i mean this place is a dump with a veneer on it#there's holes in the floor under the carpet. there's ends of pipes sticking up from the floor under the carpet#we're 99% sure the kitchen shevles are scrap wood taken from the trash. they're 85% holes and 15% splinters#someone's prescription card was stuck to one of them and they just spray painted over it#y'know those little 'describe the state of move in so you can pretend you'll get your security deposit back' sheets they give you?#we ran out of room. it took two additional pieces of printer paper fron-and-back to describe everything already wrong when we moved in#and they only gave us three days to fill it out! we were still finding shit a month later!#wanna move out so baaaaaad
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so i was zooming into isol's interview photo because. yeah. i have to get that straight now for my silly little fic. i was only one off on how many people total were entering mok, by the way. i assumed eight. it's seemingly seven
but i noticed something
ACCIDENTAL TRANS FLAG, DEADASS?? IN THE CORNER REFLECTION
#not a quote#he IS just like me for real......... no way#man the real argument here though. that's rozzi beside him. 99% certain#which one's trans#i know both is an option but we can discuss all three options#like. they both have solid arguments on those fronts#rozzi's relatively tall and almost seems to perform toxic masculinity#and isol's. he's isol. surely you can see where i'm coming from#it's so vibes based. i literally felt this way before i had even an inkling of an idea about my transgenderness#the only things i can state to prove it at all are that he's short and has softer features on a lot of his skins#like yeah he's young and definitely malnourished but you gotta agree that it's a possible view
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Dinner & Diatribes
❝i knew it from the first look of mischief in your eye.❞
Summary: You both swiped right and suddenly you're standing in a stranger's kitchen while he makes you spaghetti.
Pairing: Modern Aegon Targaryen x Reader
Word Count: 5.2k
Author’s Note: this might be the most self-indulgent fic i've ever written, so fair warning. also, thank you tom, who inspired this by saying that dinner & diatribes would be aegon's hozier song. it's just true. anyways, this was really fun to write.
Warnings: language, recreational drug use, alcohol use, fluff, intense sexual situations (including: oral sex - female receiving, sexual intercourse - p in v), just two single people who are horny, more fluff, aegon being so cute that i couldn't stop smiling the whole time i was writing this.
It was precisely 9:39 PM on a Tuesday.
You were sitting cross-legged on your couch, nose deep in a fresh murder mystery that you had been working through for the last two days. There was a lit joint between your fingers that you were nursing, taking little hits so that it wouldn’t completely burn out, and on the cushion next to you, your phone softly vibrates and lights up; a familiar icon flashes across the screen and you can easily make out the words, “It’s a Match” from the corner of your eye.
It’d been a regular occurrence since you had downloaded that accursed app.
You’d been single for far too long, according to your best friend, though you hadn’t really noticed. The sweet silence of a solitary life was something that you had enjoyed for the most part. It wasn’t even like your online dating life had really taken off, either. You’d get matches but hardly anyone would reach out in any way that made you feel like they were serious. They wanted your Snapchat username, or they were in an ‘open’ relationship or asking for a threesome, and one guy even asked if you would send him pictures of your feet. Even some of the ones you thought were serious about taking you out- or even just hooking up- would end up ghosting you before anything actually happened.
“It’s not supposed to be serious,” you could hear your friend’s words rattling around in your brain. You shake your head and focus once again on your book; they have a suspect, it’s the best friend! How fitting.
Once again, your phone lights up and vibrates. Not wanting to be distracted from the plot, you ignore your new match and get back to your mystery with anticipation; the best friend is about to confess. You go to take another hit of your joint and frown upon realizing it’s burnt out. As you move to grab your lighter, in comes another message, and another, and another. You stop what you’re doing and pick up your phone, swiping at the screen until you find the culprit. He’s known only as Aegon T, and according to the one sentence he has written on his profile, he has a dog. You swipe through his pictures- the dog is a golden retriever, the man looks like a golden retriever.
In the message thread, he’s basically talking to himself.
There’s four new messages waiting for you, while three little dots begin flashing at the bottom of the screen; disappearing and reappearing as you read what he’s already sent.
“So, I’m high.”
“And I am making spaghetti… and it’s really good.”
“At least I hope it’s really good, it could just be the weed…”
“I could use a taste-tester, if you’re up for it? I can’t pay you or anything, but it’s honest work 😏”
Aegon begins typing again and you watch the screen, a smirk on your lips. You are 99% sure that the spaghetti is truly an innuendo for what he really wants and have half a heart to just block him, but you watch as those little gray dots continue in the bottom left corner of the screen; he’s going back and forth with himself and you can’t help but find it oddly cute. Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you contemplate a witty response, but before you can even begin typing, he sends a fifth message.
“That was weird as fuck, right?”
Then a sixth.
“You probably don’t want to come over to some random guy’s house on a Tuesday.”
He finishes up with a seventh message.
“Unless you do…”
He almost sends an apology. After all, what's another message? He’s already fucked this whole thing up; not even giving himself a chance before he nose-dived. If he was being honest, he should just go ahead and delete his whole account; save you from secondhand embarrassment and save himself from repeating the same mistake again in the future. He sets the phone down on the kitchen counter and goes back to ripping bong hits to calm his nerves. Though, he’s unable to keep himself from checking his phone for a response; a response that likely wasn’t going to come and he’d spend the rest of his night feeling like a complete idiot.
Seven back-to-back messages should have screamed ‘red flag’, but you’re glancing at the clock as if you were seriously contemplating taking this stranger up on his offer. After all, you do have needs just as much as the next person. But, you’re wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts, your hair’s a mess, and you were covered in the crumbs of your munchie snacks. Meaning, you were nowhere close to being prepared for what was sure to happen between you and this random stoner offering you dinner.
Yet, you respond to him, “I could never turn down spaghetti”.
Aegon’s stirring the sauce when he gets your message. He’s instantly elated, thrusting a celebratory fist into the air. His fingers fly across the keyboard swiftly, sending another quick message, “Atta girl 🙃 My place is on the corner of 9th and 51st, above Jasper’s.”
“Be there soon,” you reply with haste.
It was apartment #4 and you made sure to text your friend the address, and given name of your potential murderer, and also share your location for her to keep an eye out. She says all you have to do is text her at any time if you need her to call and bail you out with a fake emergency. All she asks in return is for you to have fun and let her know if you are planning on spending the night- which was an idea that you weren’t opposed to, but it wasn’t something you were planning on.
You’re nervous as you stand outside of the door to his apartment, fist hovering for a moment. Now’s the time to make a fast exit- you haven’t met him, you could turn around right now and never meet him. You could wake up alive in the morning, safe in your own bed. Or, you can knock on the door and have what might be a really nice spaghetti dinner with a really nice guy. Hell, he could even be the love of your life and in fifty years you’ll both look back on this day and laugh about how you met on Tinder and how you were stupid enough to go to his house and not a public place.
Finally, you knock.
Aegon puts the lid back on his spaghetti sauce and shuffles into the living room. Sunfyre is on the couch with his ears perked; his tail’s wagging and he’s panting eagerly, waiting patiently to meet this new visitor. Aegon whispers over to him, “wish me luck,” and thinks to himself, please don’t be a catfish, please don’t be a catfish, please don’t be a catfish. He peers through the peephole when he approaches the door and there you are, a sigh of relief deflates his chest.
“Oh, thank God,” you can hear him say as the door swings open. His accent is surprisingly British. “You’re real.”
The very first thing that you notice are his eyes. They’re piercing; somehow blue and lavender at the same time– the color of a warm, summer sunrise and they’re crinkling at the edges as he smiles. He’s wearing a pair of dark gray sweats and a pale green hoodie, and the only word that comes to mind when you look at him is warmth. He’s somehow more attractive in person than he is in the pictures on his profile, which you didn’t think was possible, but he’s standing right in front of you and you can’t help but think to yourself, he doesn’t look like a murderer.
Then again, neither did Ted Bundy.
Aegon stands there for a moment, just staring at you, unable to do anything else. His words escape him, he can barely even breathe. You look exactly the same as your pictures; even without the makeup and even in the shitty, fluorescent overhead lights of the hallway. Even in a sweatshirt and pajama shorts, you’re stunning. He’s having a hard time believing that you actually showed up and he doesn’t realize that he’s been staring for much too long until you shrug back at him.
“Did you think I wasn’t?” You ask with creased brows and a lopsided smile.
The corners of his lips pull upwards as he looks at you, “I don’t know. You’re just so beautiful, I’m still not entirely convinced you aren’t some sort of hologram… or a robot.”
“Wow, you’re pretty smooth,” you say with a playful smirk, desperately trying to keep your composure— trying to play it cool, hoping that he hasn’t caught on to the fact that you’re secretly spiraling, because it took all of one smile and one compliment and you were done for. “But, I’ll have you know that flattery won’t work on me. I’m here for the spaghetti and the spaghetti alone.”
“My apologies,” Aegon says with a chuckle as he holds his hands up defensively. “Right this way, then.”
He steps to the side, allowing you to enter his apartment, and shuts the door behind you. It’s nice, clean, smells like fresh baked bread and tomato sauce. There’s niche artwork adorning the walls, he’s got candles burning, and there’s some lowkey, downtempo R&B playing softly in the background. He quickly moves past you and disappears into the kitchen, leaving you to follow him.
However, before you can take all of two steps into his apartment, a flash of golden fur is suddenly at your hip, pawing for attention. You drop down to a knee and happily accept any and all kisses from the pup. “Oh! Hi, what’s your name?”
Aegon sticks his head around the corner and says, “That is Sunfyre. In case you were wonderin’, he’s a very good judge of character and I will be consultin’ with him later where you’re concerned, fair warning.”
You roll your eyes and scratch behind Sunfyre’s ears, his tail thumps in approval.
“Would you like something to drink?” He continues and disappears back into the kitchen. “I’ve got wine and bottled water. Oh, and milk?” There’s a rustling in the kitchen before Aegon adds with a nervous chuckle, “scratch that, there is no milk.”
You politely excuse yourself from Sunfyre and step into the small dining room off of the kitchen.
There’s a grin on your lips, which you pursed so that he doesn’t think you’re laughing at him. Sunfyre joins the two of you and circles around his owner’s legs as Aegon empties an almost full half-gallon of milk down the drain. His kitchen is small but looks to be well used, which you appreciate. You know almost nothing about this man, other than his name- if ‘Aegon’ was even his real name- and the name of his dog, and yet here you were, standing in the threshold of his kitchen with a strange sense of comfortability as if you had been lifelong pals.
“Water is fine,” you tell him.
He produces a bottle of water from his fridge and tosses it over to you with ease and goes back to the stove. You step further into the kitchen, taking in your surroundings. The kitchen, like the living room, is covered in artwork and vintage decor- things you’d only find in some obscure thrift store or estate sale. On the refrigerator are a collection of magnets from different cities and countries, real touristy type shit. Some of them even had names on them; Alexander, Aaron, Alistair, Alan, Adolf.
Maybe these are the names of people he’s killed.
“You travel a lot?” You ask, trying to keep the conversation going.
“I try to,” he says from over his shoulder as he continues to stir the sauce. You can hear him set the lid back on the pot. “Most of those are from my sister, Helaena. She thinks it’s hilarious to give me magnets with random ‘A’ names since you’ll never find the name Aegon on any of those,” he says from behind you. He’s leaning against the counter with a half glass of wine. You quirk an eyebrow at him, not fully convinced. “She has a few from me that say Helen.”
“Is that her?” You ask, finger pointing to a pretty blonde in one of the many photographs he had pinned up.
He nods and takes a step closer to you. He’s so close that you can feel his warmth, smell his aftershave. The proximity causes you to blush and he smirks in response, leaning over your shoulder as he points to the other people in the pictures. “Those two are my little brothers, Aemond and Daeron,” he claims and then points to two women. “That’s my half-sister, Rhae, and next to her is my mother.”
“The redhead?” You ask surprised, given she didn’t look like she could be old enough to have four grown children. He nods and takes a step back, leaning against the counter with half-lidded eyes and a tipsy blush. “She looks like she could be your sister,” you say softly, turning back to glance at all of the faces; he seemed proud of his family, like they were very close.
You turn away from the fridge and lean against the counter at his side. It’s quiet for a moment, save for the music and the sound of boiling water where the noodles were cooking. You look at him and the corners of your lips can’t help but twist up into a shy smile, but you bite at the inside of your cheek out of nervous habit. He props himself up on his elbows, taking a sip of his wine, clearly comfortable with the silence.
“So,” you look up at him and his little smirk grows. “About the job…”
“Ah, yes,” he nods. “As I stated earlier, I won’t be able to pay you a monetary wage, but the position does come with a benefits package.”
“And what exactly would this benefits package include?” There’s an innocent flirtatiousness in your voice that only adds to the tension.
“Outside of the free gourmet meals that I would be providin’ to ya, which is obviously the most important part,” he smiles and steps to the side to grab a spoon from the drawer and holds it out to you. Your fingers softly close around his as you pluck the utensil from his grasp. He clears his throat to distract from the fact that he was visibly flustered from the slight touch. “There’s also unlimited cuddle sessions,” before he can finish, you shoot him a look. “With Sunfyre, of course! He’s the real boss ‘round here, after all.”
“Cuddling with the boss?” You quirk an eyebrow and look down at the golden retriever, his eyes round and gleaming; clearly waiting for a hand-out. “Sounds like a conflict of interest to me.”
“Well, if it’s a conflict of interest you’re worried about,” he counters quickly with a soft yet playful tone. “I s’pose we could renegotiate the terms of the agreement and you could have me instead.”
“I’m listening.”
“He might be better at cuddling for obvious reasons and he might be better lookin’,” Aegon continues. “But, I give better backrubs. I mean, I have thumbs and he don’t. You can’t give decent backrubs without thumbs, can you? Plus, he’s a sloppy kisser.”
“Oh, you’re really trying to sweeten the deal now, huh? Backrubs and kisses? I must admit, that is quite a compelling offer,” you muse. “It seems my decision hinders on whether or not you can actually cook, wouldn’t want to accept the position blindly, now would I?”
“Are ya doubtin’ my skills?” He asked playfully.
“No offense, but you possess the aura of someone who could fuck up a can of Spaghettios,” you tell him with a sincere smile. “So, forgive me if I don't get my hopes up.”
Aegon laughs and it’s a warm and infectious sound that fills the kitchen. It’s genuine, as is his perfect smile. You can’t seem to keep yourself from staring; eyes softly tracing every detail of his face– from his full, pink pout, to the scar above his right eyebrow, and the dimple of his chin– thinking to yourself that you’ve never seen a man more beautiful. His smile turns back into a smirk as he notices you staring at his lips and you look up to meet his eyes. There’s something about the way he looks at you that leaves you feeling vulnerable. His gaze softens as you look away, turning your attention back to the spaghetti sauce on the stove in front of you to distract yourself from the blush creeping up your neck.
There’s only one way this night ends.
It was obvious before you even left your house and it was certainly obvious now.
“Go on, then,” he prods, motioning to the pot on the stovetop.
His eyes are wide with anticipation as you dip into the simmering sauce, stirring it a few times before bringing the spoon to your lips. He’s nervous; it’s his mother’s recipe– one he’s spent years perfecting– but with his luck, you will most likely think it’s steaming garbage. Yet, he watches intently; holding his breath as your perfect lips curl to blow softly, cooling the sauce before you finally taste it.
The moment the spoon touches your tongue, you're determined to remain impartial. After all, you’ve had your fair share of disappointing meals from men who’ve claimed to be great cooks. Aegon certainly could be the very latest and you wouldn’t be at all surprised. So, you keep your expectations low, and try your hardest to remain stoic, but as the flavors begin to unfold, you can feel your resolve wavering.
It’s good. Better than most.
Reluctantly, you have to admit that this is the second-best sauce you’ve ever had, right after your grandmother’s. You glance up at Aegon, who’s watching you with a mix of anxiety and hope, and you can’t help but smile.
“I have to give it to you,” you say, your voice betraying a hint of admiration. “This is incredible. Almost as good as my grandmother’s.”
The relief and pride that spread across his face makes your heart flutter.
“Yeah?” He asks with a toothy grin.
“I’m still not completely convinced that you can actually cook, but you can– at the very least– make some top-notch spaghetti sauce,” you tell him as you place your spoon to the side.
“Top-notch, eh?” He asks playfully as he begins plating your meal. “I’ll take it.”
“Don’t let it get to your head,” you say to him with a laugh. “It’s just spaghetti sauce.”
“Just spaghetti sauce? Don’t let my mum hear you say that,” he says with a smirk, setting a full plate in front of you on the counter. “I guess I’ll just have to work extra hard on the next one.”
“Assuming there will be a next one,” you reply, tone dripping with playful sarcasm. “Though, you have set the bar pretty high tonight. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“Well,” he murmurs as he steps closer, his body brushing against yours as he reaches around you to grab a plate. His lips are hovering above the shell of your ear, his voice low and teasing, causing your cheeks to immediately flush as the heat between the two of you intensifies. “I’m nothing if not a perfectionist.”
For a split second you expect for him to lean in for a kiss. Your heart is simultaneously skipping beats and racing at the same time; your breath catching in your throat as he leans in— But then he smirks, grabbing the plate and taking a step backwards. He’s doing it on purpose, you realize; his proximity expertly calculated to keep you on edge. You look up at him with wide, sparkling eyes and he knows he’s got you right where he wants you. The soft blush of your cheeks has his blood pumping and sends a surge of adrenaline through him. He’s trying his absolute best to play it cool but the way you’re biting your lip and looking at him has him unraveling.
“Is that so?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. “What other skills do you have up your sleeve?”
His grin widens as he looks down at you, setting his empty plate to the side. His gaze, once again, drops to your lips. “I have a few tricks,” he says softly, his voice filled with promise. “But I doubt you’d believe me if I told you, so how about I just show you?”
“What?” You ask with a playful innocence. “Before dinner?”
“I’m not really in the mood for spaghetti anymore.”
“Oh?” Your smirk is only growing. “What are you in the mood for?”
Aegon says nothing, but a confident grin tugs at the corners of his lips as he rests his hands on your hips. He doesn’t hesitate to pull you in by the waist, until you’re pressed against him and his lips are on yours. The kiss is both gentle and urgent and a little bit awkward, as any first kiss should be. You felt like a teenager again, kissing a boy for the first time– butterflies in your stomach and all.
It takes no time at all for you to find your rhythm with him, and he deepens the kiss, pushing you up onto the kitchen counter to meet his height. Your arms naturally drape across his shoulders, your legs wrap around his middle. He’s completely taken over your mind, filling up every tiny space that he can fit into; the smell of his cologne, the scratch of his stubble against your skin, the feeling of his hands squeezing the flesh of your thighs– his fingertips teasing just underneath the hem of your shorts.
Breathless, he pulls away from you as he pulls your sweatshirt over your head. He stops for a moment to take in the sight of you; clad only in your bra and shorts, lips red and blotchy, swollen and full. You’re looking up at him from under your lashes, softly biting your bottom lip as you wait for him to continue. He gently lifts his hand up to your cheek and traces the curve of your cupid’s bow with his thumb, providing one last show of tenderness before he leans in to capture your lips in another searing kiss.
His touch is suddenly rushed; spreading a wildfire across your skin in the wake of his lips as he rips off the remainder of your clothes. It doesn’t take long at all before you’re sitting exposed on his kitchen counter in only a thong, blushing wildly and covering your face with your hands.
“No– no hiding,” he clicks his tongue and pulls your hands away from your face. “I want to see you.”
He whispers a string of profanities and compliments as his starving eyes roam your figure. Self-doubt creeps into your mind and you momentarily consider making a quick exit, convinced he won’t like what he sees, but the way he’s looking at you makes you feel desired in a way you haven’t felt in a long time.
Aegon’s gaze is electrifying and intense, drawing you in and silencing your negative thoughts instantly. His hands pull you in by the waist, sliding you to the edge of the counter as his lips work their way down your chin and neck; leaving a trail of red marks down to your chest. He hums, smirking as he takes one of your breasts in his mouth. His hand kneads the other, rolling your hardened nipple between two fingers. Your head falls back, lips parted slightly as you breathe out his name.
Each sound he elicits from you urges him on even further until he’s on one knee, looking up at you from his position with those pretty eyes. He runs a hand up the back of your calf, softly teasing you with his fingertips before tossing your leg over his shoulder. You knew where he was going, and yet, you were still surprised as he began placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of your thighs; shivering in anticipation as goosebumps formed on your skin.
“You’re so wet,” he says proudly, praising you.
His eyes are locked with yours as his fingers delicately smooth over your clothed clit. He hooks a finger around the dampened cotton and pulls your thong to the side, groaning at the sight of your perfect pussy. Without wasting another second, Aegon’s mouth is suddenly on you and your hands immediately find the back of his head; fingers curling into the roots of his silver hair.
You roll your hips against his tongue, cursing out as your legs begin to shake. He moans, face still buried deep in you and the vibrations have you writhing. Both of his arms are wrapped around your thighs now, holding you tight to him, not letting up for even a second. Then he stands, lifting you up onto his shoulders. You squeal in shock, holding onto him tightly, but he doesn’t stop; he continues to devour you as he blindly carries you towards his bedroom.
When his knees hit the side of his bed, he tosses you back onto the mattress.
You prop yourself up on your elbows and watch as he strips out of his clothes. . You can see the outline of his arousal; prominent and pressing firmly against the fabric of his sweats. You bite your lip at the sight and he smirks as he catches your stare. His movements are unhurried, giving you ample time to appreciate the sight before you. His hoodie and shirt come off first, then his sweats, and you can’t help but notice the way that his muscles flex with each motion. He’s not overly built, but there’s a solid strength in his frame that is evident in the way he moves.
Outside, headlights from passing cars cast streaks of light and shadows across the walls of his room. It’s quiet, the music in the other room has stopped playing and all you can hear is the sound of your own heart beating in your ears. You swallow thickly, encompassed by the tension of the moment as he crawls up the length of your body; placing tender kisses along your skin. His lips leave a trail of warmth, each touch igniting a spark that travels through your entire body.
When he reaches your face, he pauses, his breath mingling with yours as he hovers just inches away. The anticipation builds, thick and electric in the air between you. His lips find yours in a kiss that starts slow and tender but quickly deepens; fingers threading through your hair as he pulls you closer, his body pressing yours deeper into the plush mattress. Your hands explore his back, tracing the contours of his muscles, feeling the tension and strength beneath his skin and coming to rest on his shoulders; gripping tightly as he continues to worship your body with his mouth. Each kiss, each touch, is deliberate, heightening your senses and pulling you further into the moment.
You curse at the feeling of his girth against your entrance. Your hand moves up to the back of his neck, pulling him down to meet your lips as he presses slowly into you.
“Oh fuck,” he whimpers into the crook of your neck as his arms become weak.
He knows that he won’t last like this; it’s been a while and you feel way too good. He’s slow at first, wanting to steady himself and maintain control, but his rhythm picks up quickly; hips moving with an unrelenting rhythm, each thrust bringing you both closer to the edge. You can feel his muscles tense, his grip on you tightening as he buries his face in your neck. His moans are a mix of pleasure and desperation, and you can tell he’s fighting to hold back.
You tighten your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, feeling the overwhelming need to reach that peak together. His pace quickens, the tension in his body building to a breaking point. You feel the same pressure inside of you mounting before it’s suddenly crashing over you like a wave. He follows seconds later, a low groan escaping his lips as he spills into you. The intensity of the moment leaves you both breathless and clinging to each other, bathing in the afterglow.
“That was incredible,” he murmurs against your skin, head pressed to your chest as you stroke his hair softly. His eyes flutter shut as he listens to the sounds of your heartbeat.
You hum in agreement, smiling to yourself as you savor the peacefulness of the moment.
Suddenly, you’re joined by Sunfyre jumping up on the bed, his tail wagging enthusiastically. You smile at him and pat the empty space next to you, inviting him to join your cuddle session. He eagerly accepts the invitation, circling the bed a few times before snuggling up next to you. Aegon lifts his head and smiles, clearly pleased that you would be so open to having the dog in bed with you. He wraps his arm around both you and Sunfyre, pulling you closer.
“This is perfect,” he says softly, his voice filled with contentment as he lays his head back on your chest.
"So, about that job offer," you say playfully, your fingers tracing patterns along his skin. "I think I'll accept the position. When would you like for me to start?"
He lifts his head to look at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “How about tomorrow night at seven?”
Before you can respond, a distinct burning smell reaches your nose. Your brows furrow as you sniff the air. “Do you smell that?”
Aegon’s eyes widen in realization. “The spaghetti!”
He jumps up from the bed, pulling on his clothes quickly, and scrambles into the kitchen. You follow behind him, tossing one of his t-shirts over your head and meet him in the kitchen.
“I guess I forgot to turn off the burner,” Aegon looks disappointed but then chuckles, shaking his head. He looks at you with a glint in his eye and smirks. “Occupational hazard, I guess.”
“Oh, that sucks!” You laugh, playfully nudging him. “Is it too late to back out of the job now?”
“Way too late for that,” he says as he pulls you into a soft kiss, silencing any doubts immediately. “You’re mine now.”
“Mm,” you hum against his lips. “But I came here for the spaghetti.”
He chuckles and pulls back slightly. “Will you settle for pizza?”
“I’ll settle for anything, as long as it’s with you,” you say with a smile as you wrap your arms around his waist. “And as long as there’s extra cheese!”
#here have this a little early#lonely loser stoner baby boy ilysm#writing this made me so happy so i hope reading it has the same effect on you#aegon targaryen#aegon ii targaryen#modern aegon targaryen#modern aegon#modern aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen x you#aegon targaryen smut#aegon targaryen ii#aegon targaryen imagine#aegon targaryen x y/n#aegon ii targaryen x reader#aegon ii targaryen x you#aegon ii targaryen x y/n#aegon ii targaryen smut#aegon ii targaryen imagine#aegon x reader#aegon x you#aegon x y/n#aegon ii x reader#aegon ii x you#aegon ii x y/n
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