#(BUT THIS IS AN INTERESTING CHOICE UHHH???)
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It’s really kinda sad painful and interesting that the Captain’s death is one of the few where we don’t see him become a ghost. We almost expect it but the final shot of that scene is just him laying lifeless on the floor (and I suppose there there’s some mirroring between his and Kitty’s death, especially through the cinematography). How horrific must that have been when he did become a ghost? To be able to see Havers and trying to reach out to him, trying to get through to him only for Havers to never know he was still there, alone. Having to listen to all the nasty comments made by the other officers. To watch Havers leave the house for a second time, unable to get his attention or say goodbye.
#I find it interesting and very sad that Kitty and the Cap are just shown lying there completely lifeless#and we EXPECT them to become ghosts like with Humphrey Julian or Thomas#but they both just lie there#even the cinematography with the placement of Eleanor and Havers and the overhead camera just…#these both hit me so hard#especially considering their almost father-daughter relationship later on#I just have alot of feelings about this choice#I’m kind of tired and in some pain so my head is woozy#no idea if I’m making any sense but that choice really struck me#bbc ghosts#bbc ghosts spoilers#i might elaborate#but I haven’t stopped thinking about it tbh#I wanna go into more depth about Kitty and the Cap’s deaths as mirrors but uhhh brain is slow and stupid rn
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It's tattoo day guys!!! I'm in the shop rn waiting to finally get my Autobot insignia tat!!! So excited ✨🥰
#the guy was like interesting color choice#im like YEAH UMM BASED ON MY FAVORITE CHARACTER UHHH#bout to become the realest ultra Magnus stan
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If you come into the tags of any of my posts hating on Tristamp I will execute you on the spot with no mercy
#Ok maybe jk#Kinda#BUT WHY???#I've seen some interesting criticism and takes#BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO DUNK ON MY PRECIOUS CHILD#FUCK OFF#I LOVE ALL OF THE THREE PISTOLS#I'm AGGRESSIVELY PRO-TRISTAMP#I MAY NOT AGREE WITH EVERYTHING THEY'VE DONE#(Elendira mostly I'm so sad she's not a canon trans human but I'll see where it goes I GUESS)#(She literally had the least development of any of the Gung Ho Guns in the manga and it pissed me off)#(BUT THIS IS AN INTERESTING CHOICE UHHH???)#BUT I STILL APPRECIATE AND LOVE TRISTAMP#IT INTRODUCED ME TO THIS FRANCHISE#GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!!#Yadda yadda
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i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)
#just thinking about this wip again………… mmmm….. not super confident in my older ao3 fics but the premise for this one was like. i think i#ended up brainstorming it with a friend or two and then i was like wait holy shit howd this play out. and then i took about two weeks to#write ch1? :o#and then i like. REALLY got into revolutionary girl utena after finishing ch1 so like that def bled into um. the themes.#just. thimking…….. bc ive had so many ideas to explore like. themes regarding gender and misogyny and Choice and destiny and queerness and#all sorts of things….. bc rezero Touches on them and is even Detailed on them sometimes and id Love to go in depth. but im also a bit#nervous to bc 1. writing fic is….. so much work sometimes fr and i am but a lazy writer and 2. the slight anxiety of what if i get flamed#o.o wild to think about…..#like. i have ideas for emilia fics that are. definitely darker maybe a bit controversial but i will go off the walls with writing for the#sake of answering the questions of. can this be done. and is it possible to narratively critique canon and fandom treatment of emilia. that#sort of thing.#not that im the best writer ever akdbdnd but i do like darker fiction sometimes. and i also like being meta about things in fiction. and i#also like writing to get out a tiny bit of salt. etc etc.#i tried to write these kinds of thinngs with my atm sole emilia centric fic that i wrote. uhhh more than a year ago? and i would love to try#again one day bc ive def improved and changed as a writer since then. u know what i mean?? :o#just like. rezero and queerness is very interesting to me.#suffaru post#saving this on the blog bc i talked Too Much about my writing process here HAH#my writing process being: HOW FAR CAN I TAKE THIS IDEA AND HOW OFF THE WALLS CAN IT GET????#in reality tho im really just a massive nerd whos gone down a massive rabbit hole of writing anime fanfic. 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏#if you actually read all these tags big thank you HAH
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Oh shit the quencies
#tbh nothing bad happened but three of this years' uhhh. interesting choices of mine just came together?? without any input of me??#not like. premeditated or anything it just happened. but still#it is very funny
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temporarily back with one post. i am not ready to fully come back.
all the stuff you need to know about the future of this blog are in the tags.
#sunrise thoughts#after i thought a lot i made multiple choices#i am still going to post about dsmp#i am still going to post about cwilbur#dsmp has been my biggest special interest ever#and i cannot move on from cwilbur in a day or week#i obviously won't talk about the cc anymore duh and to me the cc and c are extremely disconnected from each other#i will do all my screaming and kicking and nasty emotional stuff in private#i got fucking blasted by the consequences of forming a parasocial relationship!! ouagh!!!!#if you're uncomfortable following me for my dsmp posting you can obviously unfollow me i completely understand<3#i will be tagging everything with my usual tags and you can filter them all you want if you decide to stay for other things! and uh—#i am so proud of shelby for speaking about something so terrifying and painful and i wish them the absolute best#i hope they will find a wonderful support system and get all the help they need and want and recover in a good safe environment.#(now back to blog related things haha!!)#i will try to be more multi fandom#you will still see from me a lot of minecraft smp silliness!!!#uhhh i'm talking qsmp life series and hermitcraft stuff!! (i'm gonna check season 10 very soon!)#as for non related minecraft things uhhh idk yet!!!#(btw don't expect me to reblog posts about the situation because the subject itself is so fucking uncomfortable for me)#(i am myself a victim of abuse [very different type but yeagh] + i am a mess atm for many different reasons)#(remember to always believe victims and such. [you probably heard the whole talk from people who are so much better at words than me#so i won't repeat things in a badly worded way]#anyway#(i am so sorry that this whole thing is messily written and in a bad order i am writing everything at like past 4 am)#(and i really really don't want to go back and rewrite tags in the right order)#(but yeah. erm.)#this is all you will hear from me for a while#take care everyone
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love how the message of season 4 was that you have to have extremely good grades and have gone to parties to be able to successfully adjust to university
#nhie s4 spoilers#nhie s4#nhie#never have i ever#nhie critical#if you had mediocre grades or were too uptight might as well not even bother going since you're apparently fucked#like. devi ben and fab all got into an ivy and seemed to be enjoying university and doing well right away#meanwhile we have eleanor who gets 1 rejection and gives up on furthering her education entirely (why didn't she think about film school??)#and paxton who worked So Hard to get into college only to immediately drop out just because his roommate was shitty#& blair who was an excellent student but partied too hard and failed out and tried to keep it a secret because it was 'kind of humiliating'#like. blair mentioned that she was burnt out but then it was almost immediately reframed as her having been 'too perfect' in high school#the only character who never planned to go to college was trent who was so bad at school he had to repeat his senior year#why weren't there any students who had done well at high school yet struggled academically even though they were genuinely trying?#or students who hadn't done super well in high school but then thrived in university when they had more freedom to choose their classes#where were the top students who didn't get into their first choice school? or knew that they didn't want to go to college at all?#obviously the show couldn't cover every possible permutation of how people decide whether to go to college and then how they adjust to it#but it's uhhh not great that the 3 'smartest' main characters were admitted into ivies and immediately thrived at university#while the 3 who struggled with school or prioritized non-academic interests either didn't try to go to college or gave up extremely fast#the show has always had moments where characters will be elitist but it seemed much more prominent & tied into the narrative this season#my post#my meta#tag ramble
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so, here's a question.
and i want to preface this by saying i'm not doing this yet, just considering the possibility since my circumstances have changed from a couple years ago, and i've had a lot of fun with the requests i've gotten to do for people recently.
if i were to open commissions, strictly in the style of the sketch requests i've done, would people be interested? they'd be cheap--i'm thinking $20 flat per character with one revision (or two, depending on how minor it is), monochrome but with a choice of color by the commissioner, and wouldn't have to just be canon characters. i like drawing ocs, too (provided of course they have a reference).
all of the above would be to keep myself from getting overwhelmed, and balance my ability to work quickly and turn out work i'm satisfied with, and i'd only work on one at a time.
something to consider--again, not happening for a while if it does, maybe won't happen at all. just trying to gauge interest since i have a ton of new followers.
#autumn.personal#commissions#sketch commissions#oc commissions#if you missed it a couple months ago. i originally opened commissions back in 2020 to get money to get out of a bad situation#and it uhhh did not go well for my mental health or anybody involved#but: i have a stable job now that's low stress. i live by myself#have no toxic relationships and haven't spoken to those people for a year now#and i realized with requests i still really love drawing things for people.#i want to offer more... customization? options? in the vein of sketch requests because#those are requests. yknow that's artist's choice. it's just whatever my brain comes up with when prompted#and comms are where you get to get personal and that's fun for me and others#anyway. just some thoughts. IF this happens it'll be at least another month#and based on interest
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Ah I wanted to rant more headcanons abt neon and her gear as a type of insulators for her powers even tho it’s not that deep
#txt#again I’m so sad in canon art where she’s hanging around with agents#she just has the insulators on her face and the ones on her arms are gone#it just downplays her powers even tho it’s been pointed out how she can quite literally power a whole city#I like to hc she needs more of her gear on her#when I drew that one neon compile art I drew her with those bronze loooking bracelets that’s a part of her gloves#as another means for her to supress her currents#AND NO I have no science backed up for this accessory choice I just wanted an excuse to symbolize them looking like cuffs#her power and restraints are a prison but a needed one!!!#I just think it would be so interesting to explore how neon is taught by BOTH reyna and sage#one who thrives on letting her power flow while with someone with sage who has a fine control of hers#somethin somethin poetic the controlled flow of a strong stream#it’s so damn important to me cause her taking one over the other’s teachings can rlly carry how neon not only sees or values her powers#but how she chooses to use it too#with great power comes great responsibility and all that shit#GRRR NEON CHARACTER STUDY WHEN GRRRR NEON GRRRRR#I want video game characters from not so story centric games to have more DEPTH#it’s like apex all over again I read too into shit#it’s a competitive multiplayer game first and a story with good narrative and depth uhhh 5th or 10th
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society if they let me write danganronpa.........
#trying so so SO hard to repress the ole hyperfixation here bc its cringe. it is.#objectively speaking. game sucks. writers suck. fans suck. wish I hadn't spent ~600 hours and like $60 on it bc it ended up a letdown#however. i spent like years playing and talking abt and analyzing the games so ofc they still matter to me a little#and i think the base concept of the games is actually really fucking fun and there was a lot of potential to fuse a like#campy ace attorney style detective game with some over the top gory horror#and to an extent they achieved that- the executions are genuinely great imo at least in dr1 & v3. and the stylistic choices are pretty fun#but everything else.... eh. i think the first game is genuinely decent like a 7/10 all round#way downhill from there. v3 is weird bc its like. everything dialed up to 11. at times its genius and meta but sometimes its also just bad.#uhhh basically. am going back to an old interest HARD and finding it difficult to talk about anything else so sorry to my mutuals who have#to scroll past the inevitable long analysis posts#it won't be all korekiyo this time i prommy
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i'm kinda upset that Dragon age veilguard doesn't even import world states so I think I'll save up for Baldur's gate 3 instead
#i could probably look past everything i don't really vibe with in regards to the game#but the fact they don't import all the silly little choices from THREE games is kind of a gut punch#i dont CARE they didn't really matter!!!#they mattered to me!!!#and i thought they mattered to the game too ://////#so now i'm kinda like... eh#i'm interested in *my* dragon age world#not a cookie cutter fantasy world#i know realistically most the choices wouldn't even matter but they could have.... we waited for 10 years....... they really could have#i think#and the fact I'm more keen to start a new franchise that seems to represent OG Dragon age better#than i am to play the sequel to a beloved series i sunk DAYS into just to romance the different companions.... kind of a bummer#also my ass didn't spend hours in DAO save editor and the keep and finetuning my PERFECT world state only for them to go uhhh no thanks#anyway#vent
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having access to money & having a brain that likes to hyperfixate are two things that should not exist within the same person
#damien.txt#and yet here i am#currently hyperfixating on ensemble stars. doing everything i can to not flood my followers with enstars content bc. man.#uhhh but i spent.......... $40.......... on........... pasha cards.......#which. what a choice. i feel like by the time they come in they're not going to spark joy like they are rn but sjkfhgsjkf#alas. it is done. and now we live with the consequences#like having 40 less dollars in my bank account#tangent here for a second but hang on#so i recently got this corkboard thing for my wall bc i transferred rooms in my apartment & wanted new decor#and my room generally speaking has a sort of. nature dark academia look.#like it's mostly browns & greens with a very sort of academic vibe to a lot of the decor#but. for the corkboard. what im thinking is maybe it should become my like. expressions of 'cringe'.#bc as much as like. dark academia & nature & books are aesthetics i vibe with and things i like.#i also have other interests! a lot of them! namely things that are considered very cringe by an outside audience though lol#but i think i would like things about that in my room. so i think im going to make that board the dedicated space for like#postcards and drawings and. well. pasha cards that are my more 'cringe' interests#bc cringe culture is dead even though ive said cringe like 4 times in these tags <3#okay thanks for reading i will maybe get back to fob posting on the regular soon if my brain decides to be normal once classes start lol
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helloooo!! My request is kinda small, but can I request TFP decepticons reactions to a fem reader with a tiger alt mode?? (Colors are just white and black) she’s aggressive, but also gentle to ones she trusts and loves. Hope you don’t mind adding slight romance in it😓 Ty!<33
Reader with a tiger alt mode + the decepticons
Oh my god i love this😭🫶 btw there will not be anything about starscream except him hatin' predaking and reader :D since they're both like animals. Hope you enjoy!!
CW: there's a few dirty jokes so beware!! XD
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Megatron
Finds you a good weapon in the battlefields ofc, but he does want you to be in best shape after every battle. Admires your strength to even defeat the last prime and almost eliminating him.
He rarely needs saving, but when you turned up, ripped optimus away from megatron, something lit up in him. The need of having you.
Talked to you after the whole battle and gave you best treatment he could with ordering knockout!!
The way you're actually gentle and caring didn't interest him before, but now he actually finds you slightly cute if he dares to admit it to himself.
Does like your choice of colour and style. Tigers do represent strength, courage and commanding respect! Like himself.
If he ever got the chance he would tell you he likes you and he will have you in his arms the rest of the day/night
Is really dominant in a relationship of course, but he knows how to be caring atleast.
If you insist of becoming his personal bodyguard he'd let you. Not because he's "weak", but so everyone knows not to challenge him even clearer.
Starscream yelling anything bad about you BANG He'll be getting treated by knockout soon enough. It was either you or Megatron but who cares, you both kick ass.
Any Autobot scum dare to hurt you? He WILL have their helm in under a week.
He actually loves you even if he doesn't say it :) You're on his good side with soundwave!
Soundwave
Does he care at first when he meets you? uhhh, no :) but when you start to check up on him while he works does make his spark a bit warm.
Stalks where you are going once he starts to take interest in you, but not in a creepy way ofc! He wants to know if you're safe or fragging somebot
Finds you pretty when he has time to look at you. Black and white is pretty old style, but fancied after all this time.
If you get injured in a battle he will make the autobots chase laserbeak and he'll comes and gets you back to the nemesis.
If you stay a lot in tiger form he gives you pets if you ask. He ain't that mean and can't say no to that face. (He can :))
He serves Megatron with huge loyalty so he's a busy bot, hope you can live with that. (just stay in the room with him and cuddle his pedes in tiger form)
If he he's busy any other way laserbeak will stay with you. Your little baby bird :)
He doesn't speak so he will just display hearts on his or any other monitor close to you <3
He's just a sweet quiet bot with speaking issues xD
Dreadwing
Treats you decently at first which is so cute. Since you're caring, sweet and follow rules well he thinks you're not that bad.
Once he sees you beat half of the autobot team, he wanted to stay on your good side ALL THE TIME.
Once he catches interest ohhoh, you will be smitten!
I imagine he's more of a gentleman so he would let you go through doors first and help you when needed.
Patrols together? Do you even have to ask :)
Admires your style and the way the black and white bring the best parts of your frame out.
If you're big as a tiger jus give him a ride to battle and just chuckle at autobots' faces.
Spends time with you much as possible, but serving Megatron is most likely higher priority to him than you.
HAND KISSES TO SHOW AFFECTION!!!!!!!!
Injured and need help? It's already taken care of since Dreadwing is in the battlefield with you.
Does say that he loves you multiple times in the week. (Maybe even in a day)
Doesn't like starscream, never did and doesn't now either since he's always trash talking you down.
"Stupid pest! You trashed the whole control room! Can you do anything good in this primus forsaken ship!?!? I might aswell rip you spa-"
"Whose the second in command, starscream? You better shut your intake and not speak a WORD of my love like that again!"
That would turn me on WHO SAID THAT?! NOT ME :)))
Loves you unconditionally and shows it much as he can <3
You kept his knife/sword after he got killed :((
Knockout
"IS THAT A BEAUTIFUL PAINTJOB I SEE?!" his first reaction of you be like :D But like actually he loves it.
That's what he liked in you at first only, but once he gets to see your sweet and caring personality...oh he's probably passing out.
"Since you're the only medic here, I thought you'd like some help :)" You went to help Knockout with something and he didn't even ask? He must be in heaven/one with the all spark?? idfk
Imagine if you save his aft and his fabulous paintjob? He would give you big grin "So you do admire my paintjob, doll? I knew it ;)" Such a fragging dork he is
Go racing with him please!!! Your and Knockout's quality time is racing 100%
Oh and the drive-in theaters he mentioned in season 3! He takes you there for a "date" but doesn't say it is.
Just confessed a random day when you came to check up on him
"Helloooo Knockout, do you need any hel-" "I love you..." "I love you too dummy" *Smooch* Cute
Poor breakdown, now he's the third wheel :,) UNLESS POLYAMORY IS FINE WITH YOU ALL IS FINE ALL IS PERFECT <3<3<3<3
But when he dies you'll help Knockout with buffing :,( and support aswell.
The corniest couple of decepticons or any living cybertronian couples. Just cuteness everywhere nonethless!!!
Breakdown
He was intimated by you at first like he found Arachnid intimidating.
But once you show your sweet and caring side he lowers his walls. He also loves your style (And you already <3)
Talks about you to knockout and asks for advise since he's so clueless.
Seeing your strength in battle made his optics shaped like stars and he admired you for like a week after. He wants to challenge you, but holds his request back.
If your alternate form is a automobile...PLEASE GO FOR A DRIVE TOGETHER
He ain't got the balls to confess so ofc you made the first move
The big bot team in battles!! Go on and beat bulkheads aft and laugh together when you recall those fights back at nemesis (or when he's gone :(
POLYAMOROUS WOOOOOOO GET KNOCKOUT OVER HERE!!
Shows his love for you when there is not many bots around. (Professionalism!!) You're at work so behave!
Hugs, hugs, hugs and HUGS! He's a bigbuly bot so he gives good bear hugs <3
The only thing you have left of him is a pretty crystal he brought you before he died :((
Predaking
Another beast on nemesis? He makes sure you know who's stronger, mightier and loyal. But you managed to surprise him by actually being sweet once you get to know him.
Wants to protect you and if you both are in beast mode you WILL play fight
He might offer you a flight if you are nice enough to him
Fell in love with you when you bit Starscreams wing after he hit Predaking.
Most likely the deadliest duo on the ship unless Megatron joines too >:)
Autobots can go panic into a corner when you two show up on the battlefield :D It feels like a morning stretch to you two xD
You join Predaking if Shockwave decides to "borrow" him for a little bit and it makes his whole frame warm up.
Actually loves you show much and shows it even. SNUGGLES AND CUDDLING DURIN RECHARGE PLS
Wants to spend the future with you. And after the whole Megatron posessed by Unicron thing you both go and live on your own <3 Just him and you, no one else.
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AN: TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY WTF?!?!?! But here you go! Don't mind if the writing is a little scoodaddle, I wrote during the middle of the night and the next morning so it's what it is :)) Hope you like it and don't be afraid to request more!!!!<3333
#tfp megatron x reader#soundwave x reader#dreadwing x reader#knockout x reader#breakdown x reader#predaking x reader#tfp x reader
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I haven't said as much about electoral politics this year as I have in previous cycles, because I am exhausted like everyone else and have nothing new or helpful to add. That is still true, so caveat lector I guess lmao!!! Happy American Election Day Fellow Sufferers!!
I have been experiencing an internal backlash the last few years to my extremely Sorkinpilled D.C. private school upbringing -- my childhood spent as a kind of convent schoolgirl in the faith of The System Is Good If We All Participate, which of course has a uhhh let's say generously a minimal engagement with the ways in which many of us are by design shut out of participating. I don't think idealism is necessarily childish, but I think MY idealism certainly has childish qualities, an undergirding of 90s feel-goodism, of civic participation as a subtle ego stroke and of voting -- although I would never have consciously put it this way -- as a way to feel superior to people who don't vote.
Lately there has bubbled up in me a sludgy, adolescent fury at this whole stupid country that has made it very very hard to feel like I should do even the bare minimum. For these people? AMERICANS? The ones that not only want Donald Trump to be president but saw what happened the first time and were like, We love this, do it again but worse? Whatever, fuckos. "I hope you people get your dearest wish and it chews you to death slowly," I may have thought.
I have also thought: why is it so controversial to ask elected officials to stop funding a genocide? Why are we treating people who make that ask, who are watching the current administration directly fund death on a mass scale and objecting to that choice, as if they are being babies and just need to get over it? How are they supposed to get over it? Why is anybody over it?
Anyway all this means that I, a known chipper door-knocker and caller of congresspeople, have been pretty low-key this current cycle. I think that is OK. I don't want to make this a big dramatic confessional about how I didn't write enough postcards or whatever. We all get exhausted and this was my turn.
But it has also been an illuminating cycle in that it's made it clear to me how much at my big age I still want politics to make me feel good, and when they don't, I still have the urge to throw a lil tantrum about it! I can get very superior and intellectual about how right-wing operatives manipulate their voters emotionally WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING that I too have been manipulated, in my case into the feeling that nonparticipation is a kind of revolutionary act.* Just absolute "I threw it on the GROUND" logic happening inside my head. "Maybe if I don't vote I will be doing Quiet Quitting, which is uhhhhh anticapitalist." I'm not a part of your system!!!
Anyway, I am trying to have self-compassion about it, and one way for me to do that is to project my internal experience onto a theoretical reader. That would be you, my imaginary friend who clicked on this post for some reason even though you have already decided not to vote! I just want to tell you that I am more sympathetic to your point of view than I have ever been in my whole life, and I'm sorry I have historically been a glib, holier-than-thou asshole about it in ways that may actually have made you MORE resistant to civic participation.
And you're right: it doesn't make that big a difference whether I personally vote or not, or whether you do. But if there are hundreds of us, and I think there are, then each of those people individually do starts to matter.
I guess I would humbly request that you and I both pay attention to what people who need help are actually asking for. I would ask that we both notice who wins when we abdicate this single responsibility. I would remind us both that participating in the electoral process is not some kind of weird either-or with participating in decentralized community building and mutual aid, and the best people we know do both. Isn't it interesting that somehow, insidiously, without even consciously becoming aware of this belief, we have started to think that you can only do one or the other? Who is telling us that story? Who does it serve?
Anyway. I took the stupid 90 minute round trip to my polling place which was VERY hot for some reason and I stood in the stupid line and some babies waved at me and I cast my vote for Kamala Harris and I'm glad I did it in the same way I'm glad after I do the dishes or take a stupid shower. Doing work doesn't always feel like anything. I also saw a really wonderful small black and white dog that I thought was a cat on a leash. I would not have seen that dog if I hadn't gone to vote. So politics can still make you feel good!!!
*I mean all this analysis is cute and everything BUT ALSO i did switch antidepressants twice in the last year, an astonishingly grueling process that almost made me [affect the trout population]. Could these things be related? hmmmmmmm, don't understand the question, won't respond to it.
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lace-y 𐙚 (sam winchester x reader)
↳ synopsis: you were alone in the bunker with sam and having a movie night with him... while wearing a really pretty white, lace-y lingerie set and one of his oversized tees. what could go wrong!
↳word count: 2,221
↳ cw: nsfw (MINORS DNI!!), smut, fem/afab!reader, fingering, reader is e@ten out, little bit of praise (and this is my first time writing nsfw so maybe that should be its own warning!)
You pushed the door of the bunker open, letting the cold night air whip through your hair before stepping into the warmth and sighing with relief. Sam followed close behind you, closing and locking the door as you made your way down the stairs. You and him were coming back from a hunt alone, since Dean and Cas were busy with their own side mission. You didn’t mind at all- it gave you more solo time with your favorite person. As you reached the bottom of the stairwell, you tossed your bag and keys to the table, noting how your belongings nearly knocked over one of the beer bottles Dean left out. You made a mental note to clean up… tomorrow. You were too spent to do it tonight.
The two of you made your way to Sam’s room. You had your own room, of course- the bunker has, like, 84 of them after all- but you had agreed to watch some Netflix together after getting back as a little reward for your efforts. As you got into his room, you smiled. His room always felt so cozy. After he moved in, he slowly made himself at home… a couple books piled on his desk, a few posters from his favorite movies, and a whole lot of flannels on a rack that you liked to occasionally steal from. In all fairness, there’s no way he needs all of them. But there he was- shedding his Carhart jacket off just to reveal yet another flannel, this one a nice burgundy color. He threw the jacket onto a nearby armchair and watched as you did the same with yours, now in a long sleeve shirt and jeans. It wasn’t exactly the cutest outfit, but you couldn’t wear your cute outfits out on hunts where you needed to actually be able to bend over or get dirty. You did note some stains on your outfit, and you wanted nothing more then to change into something cleaner and comfier, but your PJs were all the way in your room…
“Hey Sam, do you have a shirt I could borrow?” You asked as he settled into bed, leaning against the bed frame.
“Uhhh yeah, they’re in the second drawer down, take whatever you want.” He smiled before pulling out his phone. You thanked him and went into his wooden dresser to find a shirt. He had a lot of plain white tees for layering, but when you dug a bit deeper you found some of his older stuff. You grinned when you landed on a gray Stanford shirt, and you pulled it out. Sam was tall enough where any of his shirts fit you like a dress. Without much thinking, you started tugging your own shirt off over your head right in front of him. Sam noticed it and tried not to stare- bless his heart, he really did try- but he couldn’t help but notice the lace white bra you had on. He felt his face heat up and he felt bad for staring, his eyes darting back to his phone as you pulled his oversized shirt over yourself and discarded your pants. After you were all adjusted, you climbed into the bed with him and grabbed the remote off the bedside table.
“What do you wanna watch?” You asked, already beginning to scroll through movies. You were sitting fairly close, curled up beside him with your thighs just inches away from touching his.
“Uhhh…” He trailed off, trying to compose himself.
“You’re never helpful with this, you know.” You rolled your eyes but smiled. You landed on some cheesy horror movie with a god-awful cover and clicked on it. You always found those types of horror movies ironic, given your job as a hunter. Some horribly CGI’d ghost haunting a B-list actress who runs away in heels and trips over herself like every seven seconds… sometimes it felt more like a parody movie.
“Interesting choice.” He quipped as the movie began. You laughed and looked over at him, your head resting against one of the propped up pillows.
“Hey, if you have a problem with it, then your indecisive ass can change it.” You said. He shook his head silently and leaned back a little bit more.
“No, it’s perfect.” He said. You smiled and returned your gaze to the TV as the camera slowly zoomed out on a dilapidated house in the middle of a forest. You both watched in silence, occasionally scoffing at the horrible effects and dialogue. As the movie went on, you both slowly got more comfortable. At some point, you adjusted and ended up with your right thigh touching his leg. He pretended to not notice, but when you lifted your arms to stretch about 20 minutes into the film, your (or rather, his) shirt rode up a bit and the slightest bit of lace peeked through on your inner thigh. Where there were endless comments and critiques from the two of you before, you noticed he started to go silent, and his eyes were glued to the TV like he would be stricken down on the spot if he dared to look away.
Your little comments went unnoticed, and you couldn’t help but wonder if something was wrong. After another 10 minutes of painful silence, you finally tugged on his arm a bit to get his attention.
His eyes flicked in your direction before returning back to the TV. “Yeah?”
“Is something up?” You asked, trying to get even a little bit of eye contact. He made a slight frown and shook his head, eyes still watching the shitty flick in front of him.
“M-m.” He hummed, hands moving to fidget with the hem of his comforter. You furrowed your brows and reached for the remote, pausing the movie.
“I don’t believe you.” You responded. He just kept staring straight, trying to think of something to say.
“Hey, can you look at me?” You asked, just a bit frustrated as he seemed to have an aversion to turning to face you.
He took a small breath before turning his head, eyes immediately darting to your bare thighs before dragging up to your face.
Oh. Oh.
“Oh uhm… Sorry.” You said sheepishly, now embarrassed. You tried to move your hand to pull the shirt down, but his hand caught yours. You looked up to him in confusion.
He held it there wordlessly, and you could see something change in his eyes. Where he was avoidant and cold before, there was a sort of glint in his pupils, and his attention couldn’t be further away from the TV now. You felt your face flush, and you bit the inside of your cheek, attempting to make the tension dissipate. You saw him glance at your cherry glossed lips, and you almost laughed because he obviously wanted to make a move but was stuck like a deer in headlights.
You moved in slowly until your lips connected, feeling him nearly jolt at the contact. You lingered there for a few seconds before pulling back.
“Is this okay?” You asked quietly, making sure he was comfortable. He nodded slowly, and this time he leaned forward, connecting your lips again. His hand that once had an iron grip on yours now moved to your cheek, holding you gently in place. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as his calloused hand moved across your jaw. You’re not sure why you decided to go with the white lace lingerie this morning, but you’re so grateful you did- it saved you from a whole lot more of silent pining. The kiss deepened, and as it got more passionate you slowly moved so that you were straddling his lap, never breaking your connection. His hand dropped from your face and as you pulled away you saw him go still, feeling him harden beneath you.
It wasn’t that he was ravenous... but there was a sudden sense of desperation as he kissed you again on the lips, and you couldn’t help slowly grinding across his middle. He let out a soft groan before his lips slowly moved to your jaw, then your neck. That shy boy from just seconds ago was gone. You threw your head back a bit, giving him more access. He moved his lips all around your neck, occasionally sucking on your sensitive skin. You felt every sense heighten- his mouth marking your neck, the friction between your thin panties and thick denim, his rough fingers starting to pull at the material of your shirt…
Speaking of which, he lifted the shirt over your head, quickly breaking away from your neck to pull the fabric over your face. As he threw the shirt behind you, his eyes roamed over your body. He could finally see the full set of thin lace white lingerie adorned with small satin bows, the underwear riding up your sides as your legs straddled his. His racing thoughts stilled, and he just sat there looking at you like if he moved, he’d lose his perfect view. When you shifted forward a bit, his trance was broken, and the sensation caused him to immediately attach his lips back on to yours. Your small whimpers fueled his hunger, and he gently pushed forwards, sending you backwards so that your head was hitting the mattress behind you. He was now hovering over you, still kissing you and softly pulling at your glossy lips with his teeth. His lips moved slowly down your face, onto your neck where he kissed a few of his marks from earlier, across your chest between your cupped breasts, down your tummy and ghosting just above where your underwear covered you. You looked down to see his face just above your core, looking into your eyes with caution, silently asking for permission. Your short nod was all he needed, and he gently looped his fingers around the waistband and pulled the panties off and down your legs. You felt your heart race when he gently pushed your soft thighs apart, baring yourself in a way that might have felt embarrassing if he wasn’t practically drooling at the sight.
He ignored his urges and started slowly, kissing up your plush thigh. The sensation of him just inches away from where you needed him most, blended with his hot breath fanning over your sensitive skin was driving you crazy. You needed something, now.
“Sam..” You whimpered, voice shaking with anticipation.
“Yeah, sweetheart?” He looked up with lust-blown eyes, cheek resting on your left thigh.
“Please…” You begged weakly, squirming a bit.
You didn’t have to voice what you wanted. He smiled sweetly at you before moving to your core, gently pushing his tongue past your folds. You gasped and your hands clumsily fumbled around the sheets until they landed on the back of his head, fingers hooking into his soft hair. He lapped at your clit, and you wondered how the hell his brother got all the credit for being a “pussy magnet” when he was eating you out like a damn professional. His breath fanned over your hot, wet core, causing you to grip his chestnut hair tighter. He groaned, causing vibrations that only added to your intense pleasure.
“Fuck…” You hissed, hips slightly rolling. One of the hands that was currently holding your thighs apart slowly moved upward towards your waist in an attempt to keep you (relatively) in place. His tongue, slick with your arousal, was driving you crazy, and your soft moans and whimpers made him work even faster until you were nearing the edge.
Then you felt one of his hands trail up your thigh, and two long fingers gently prodded at your entrance. You gasped at the feeling as they gathered arousal and slipped effortlessly inside you, his tongue still working at your puffy clit. You were blissed out, softly moaning his name as he worked his impossibly long fingers in and out of you. Your breaths got short and your hips rutted up, and he knew you were close. He pulled his mouth off your core, but kept his fingers at a steady pace, looking up at you for the first time in a while as your hand dropped off the back of his head and onto his shoulder, gripping for dear life.
“That’s it pretty girl, I got you.” He praised, using his free hand to rub gentle circles into your waist. As his pace quickened, you whined his name and felt the pressure in your lower half snap, moaning as you climaxed. Your eyes shut closed, and your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath. He slowly pulled his fingers out as you were still coming down, and the hand that wasn’t coated in slick was reaching up to brush your hair out of your face.
“You okay hon?” He asked, climbing up to kiss you on the forehead. Your face was completely flush, and your hair was a bit of a mess from writhing around on the pillow. You looked up into his eyes and smiled at his gentleness, and you nodded slowly.
“Felt really good..” You mumbled, still somewhat incoherent as you recovered. He smiled back and kissed you gently.
“You look so cute in white, you know…”
↳ a/n: hiii! this is my first time writing nsfw so please be gentle w me :,) i have no idea what i'm doing even though my tumblr history would say otherwise... anyways i have a bit of free time between now and finals- send requests! thank u for reading lovelies <3
#sam winchester x y/n#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester#sam winchester smut#supernatural one shot#supernatural x reader#spn sam winchester#sam winchester suggestive#sam winchester one shot#supernatural
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