#in reality tho im really just a massive nerd whos gone down a massive rabbit hole of writing anime fanfic. 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

suffarustuffaru · 1 year ago

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i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)

#just thinking about this wip again………… mmmm….. not super confident in my older ao3 fics but the premise for this one was like. i think i #ended up brainstorming it with a friend or two and then i was like wait holy shit howd this play out. and then i took about two weeks to #write ch1? :o #and then i like. REALLY got into revolutionary girl utena after finishing ch1 so like that def bled into um. the themes.#just. thimking…….. bc ive had so many ideas to explore like. themes regarding gender and misogyny and Choice and destiny and queerness and #all sorts of things….. bc rezero Touches on them and is even Detailed on them sometimes and id Love to go in depth. but im also a bit #nervous to bc 1. writing fic is….. so much work sometimes fr and i am but a lazy writer and 2. the slight anxiety of what if i get flamed #o.o wild to think about…..#like. i have ideas for emilia fics that are. definitely darker maybe a bit controversial but i will go off the walls with writing for the #sake of answering the questions of. can this be done. and is it possible to narratively critique canon and fandom treatment of emilia. that #sort of thing.#not that im the best writer ever akdbdnd but i do like darker fiction sometimes. and i also like being meta about things in fiction. and i #also like writing to get out a tiny bit of salt. etc etc.#i tried to write these kinds of thinngs with my atm sole emilia centric fic that i wrote. uhhh more than a year ago? and i would love to try #again one day bc ive def improved and changed as a writer since then. u know what i mean?? :o #just like. rezero and queerness is very interesting to me.#suffaru post #saving this on the blog bc i talked Too Much about my writing process here HAH #my writing process being: HOW FAR CAN I TAKE THIS IDEA AND HOW OFF THE WALLS CAN IT GET????#in reality tho im really just a massive nerd whos gone down a massive rabbit hole of writing anime fanfic. 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏#if you actually read all these tags big thank you HAH

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