#(...this is me overthinking in real time 😅)

[jxmis]

Lose You To Love Me

Pairings: Yu Jimin / Karina x Reader

Summary: Everything changed between Y/N and Jimin after Milan Fashion Week. Months later, Y/N, now in New York, releases their first song, an emotional track that reveals their heartbreak, making Jimin realize her mistake too late.

Warning(s): heavy angst, toxic behavior, male being is mentioned

A/N: sorry in advance 😭 I also still suck at summarizing 😅 header photo is not my best work… did it during work cuz i was bored 😆 and look at me not disappearing again after i post a fic 🤭

Inspired by Lose You To Love Me by Selena Gomez ❤️‍🩹

The night air in New York carried a sharp chill, but Y/N barely noticed. Their fingers hovered over the play button on their phone, hesitating. The song was finished. Every lyric bled from the pain Jimin had left behind.

The world had already moved on.

Aespa’s Karina and Actor Lee Jae-Wook reportedly engaged?

The headline was everywhere. But Y/N wasn’t sure if they’d ever move on.

Not when they could still remember how it all fell apart.

5 MONTHS AGO

“This is a big opportunity, baby.” Jimin’s voice crackled through the speaker, excitement laced in every word. ��Milan Fashion Week. I’ll be sitting front row next to designers, actors—people who could open doors for me.”

Y/N smiled, despite the uneasy feeling curling in their gut. “I’m happy for you, babe. I just…” They hesitated. “I wish I could come with you.”

“I wish you could too.” A beat of silence. “We’ll celebrate when I’m back, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jimin left the next morning.

And when she returned, something between them had changed.

At first, it was subtle. The late-night texts that used to be filled with love were now short and mechanical. The phone calls grew shorter, her voice distant.

“You’ve been quiet lately,” Y/N said one evening as they sat across from each other in Jimin’s room.

Jimin barely looked up from her phone. “Just busy.”

“It’s not just that.” Y/N swallowed hard. “Did something happen in Milan?”

Jimin tensed, but her answer was smooth. “Nothing happened. You’re overthinking.”

But Y/N could see the cracks forming. The way Jimin’s mind was elsewhere. How she flinched when Y/N reached for her hand.

➽───────

A few days later, the final blow came.

“I don’t think this is working anymore.” Jimin’s voice was quiet, but her words rang louder than anything Y/N had ever heard.

Y/N blinked. “What?”

Jimin exhaled, rubbing her temples. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I just… I don’t feel the same way anymore.”

“Since when?” Y/N’s voice cracked. “Since Milan?”

Jimin hesitated. That was all the confirmation Y/N needed.

“I thought we were okay,” Y/N whispered. “I thought we were forever.”

Jimin looked away. “I’m sorry.”

And just like that, everything they had built crumbled.

It only took a few days. A blurry photo surfaced—Jimin and Jaewook leaving a restaurant together, his hand resting on her lower back.

Y/N stared at the screen, numb. The articles speculated, fans theorized, but nothing was confirmed.

Not yet.

But two months later, Dispatch made sure the whole world knew. Sharing evidence that couldn’t be mistaken as another one of Dispatch’s fake news. It’s too real to deny.

Aespa’s Karina and Actor Lee Jae-Wook: Korea’s New Power Couple

Y/N felt sick. Seeing all the pictures with dates and timestamps. Anonymous workers giving details of what was supposed to be private date nights between Jimin and Jaewook. All of it were exposed.

Jimin had replaced them. After two months. And this time, there was no coming back.

➽───────

Aeri knocked on Y/N’s apartment door the day after the Dispatch article dropped.

“Checking to see if I’m still breathing?” Y/N joked, stepping aside to let Aeri in.

Aeri sighed, sitting on the couch. “Something like that.”

“Thanks Gi.. I’m good don’t worry.” But Aeri doesn’t buy it. Skipping the common “Are you okay?” or “How are you?” questions with these type of situations. Why would she ask questions she already knew the answer to. Knowing your answers would also be bullshit anyways.

Aeri hesitated before asking, “So… what now? What’s next for you?”

Y/N leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “A label in New York reached out. They want me as a producer.”

Aeri’s eyes widened. “Holy shit! Wait, that means you’re moving?” With this, Aeri looked around Y/N’s apartment. Finally noticing how empty it looks. Boxes filled with Y/N’s belongings in the corner of the living room.

You chuckle but your eyes filled with sadness. “Yeah.. they’ve actually been offering me this opportunity for a while now. I just always declined it because…”

“Of Jimin,” Aeri says finishing Y/N’s sentence.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah. There’s nothing left for me in Korea. Nothing keeping me here.” They exhaled, the weight of their words settling in. “I think it’s time to start over—to finally put myself first. I really thought… we could fix this. That she just needed time and space. But I guess I was wrong. I should’ve known better instead of waiting around like an idiot.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Aeri cut in. “No one saw this coming. Not even me or the girls. I love Jimin but.. she’s the idiot for not realizing what a huge mistake she’s making by letting you go.”

Y/N let out a bittersweet chuckle, shaking your head in response. You appreciate Aeri’s attempts to cheer you up, even if the pain still lingers.

Aeri studies them for a long moment before nodding. “Then go kill it over there. Make her regret everything.”

Y/N wiped away the tears that had slipped down their cheeks, then mustered up a smirk. “Oh, don’t worry—I will.”

➽───────

PRESENT DAY

Aeri, Ningning, and Minjeong sat silently in the studio as Y/N’s voice poured through the speakers.

I gave my all and they all know it

Then you tore me down and now it’s showing…

Jimin’s betrayal was woven into every note. Y/N had turned their pain into something tangible, something undeniable.

When the song was released, the world listened.

And so did Jimin.

Jimin wasn’t sure what she had expected when she pressed play. But the moment she heard Y/N’s voice, she felt her heart crack.

You promised the world and I fell for it.

I put you first and you adored it.

The lyrics were a knife to the gut.

She had promised Y/N forever. And then she had thrown it all away.

Tears blurred her vision. She had told herself that her feelings for Jaewook were real. That she had made the right choice.

But why did she feel so empty?

I needed to lose you to find me…

The chorus crashed over her like a wave, every lyric cutting deeper than the last.

Y/N had written about them. About her.

Jimin squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears came anyway. The memories hit her like a storm—Y/N’s laughter echoing in their apartment, the way they’d dance in the kitchen at midnight, the way Y/N would whisper Jimin like it was the only name that mattered.

And then, the fights. The distance. The heartbreak.

Jimin sucked in a shaky breath.

She had let Y/N go.

And now, they had let her go too. This was Y/N’s closure. But Jimin couldn’t help but try and fix things.

➽───────

Meanwhile, you’re in your studio in NYC when your phone buzzes. You smile seeing it’s from Aeri.

[GA AERI 🤡]: The song—damn, Y/N. It was raw. More importantly… the biggest plot twist of the century! I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this voice of yours all these years?! Who knew the Y/N Y/L/N could sing?!?!

Y/N laughs, feeling a mix of pride and amusement.

[Y/N/N]: Thank you, thank you… means a lot coming from Aespa’s Giselle 😆!! I guess I just needed the right motivation to finally show this side of me. But now I get why you get so emotional, that look on your face like you’re on cloud nine whenever you talk about writing your own music.

[GA AERI 🤡]: So what I’m hearing is that I inspired you to make your own music? 😏 You’re so welcome! 😉 I expect to be credited!!!

You roll your eyes, but can’t contain the small chuckle that escapes your lips.

[Y/N/N]: Shut up 😒 It feels nice, actually singing the music rather than just being behind the scenes, you know what I mean? There’s something freeing about it. It’s like finally owning my story, not just creating it for someone else.

[GA AERI 🤡]: In all seriousness… Ning, Mindoongie and I are so proud and happy for you. 🥹 Is it too soon to ask for a visit from the Y/N Y/L/N? We miss you…

[Y/N/N]: I miss you guys too. I’ll see.

[Y/N/N]: No promises tho.

[GA AERI 🤡]: I see, too big for us now huh big shots 🙄

You laugh, shaking your head at Aeri’s antics. You can’t help but miss the japanese girl and the other two clowns.

➽───────

Weeks passed after the song dropped, and Jimin finally found the courage to call.

Y/N didn’t pick up.

Not a second later, her phone buzzed—a message from Y/N.

She opened it, heart pounding.

[Y/N/N ❤️]: Goodbye, Karina.

That was it. Short and simple. Y/N’s message loud and clear. No baby. No babe. No love. Not even Jimin.

Never again.

Seeing Karina sent a chill down her spine. Y/N had never, ever called her Karina before. It felt strange, like the distance between them had solidified in that one word, a reminder of everything that had changed. Yet Jimin knows she deserves it.

And now, far too late, she had realized she lost the one person who had truly loved her.

Y/N looked out at the New York skyline, breathing in the fresh air of a new beginning. For the first time in a long while, they felt at peace—no longer defined by Yu Jimin or their past. It was their own story now.

This was only the start.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝ ⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝ ⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──

The end.

[revelboo]

I absolutely love the Jazz x Reader, I have a feeling part 19 is smut? Also, when are the other autobots gonna find out about Jazz's little human friend?

Have a nice day/night! Love your blog🩵

It is smut 😅 and they will find out eventually 18+ Mass displaced mech 🌶️

Over It Now Pt 19

Jazz x Reader

• Absolutely not. Knows where that sentence was headed and he’s not going to let you second guess this. Deny him. Feels like he might just die if you do. But you toss your head back with a soft noise when his mouth brushes against you, teasing you with his glossa. Not giving you a chance to overthink this. And you whisper his name, voice shaky and almost pleading. Wanting him. Giving in.

• Hips bucking as his mouth moves against you, his hands catch you and pin you in place, holding you open so you can’t squirm away as his glossa slides against you and delves inside you. And he makes a low, rumbling growl that’s almost a purr as he strokes you with his lips and glossa until you’re trembling and breathing raggedly. “Jazz,” you whimper and his head lifts, leaving you teetering on the edge as he rests his chin on your stomach, visor bright.

• “What do you need, doll?” Cupping you with a hand as he rocks his hips against the floor to try and ease that ache, wanting to free his spike and claim you, but this is about you. Taking care of you. “Tell me.” Your hips lift slightly as he rubs a servo against you, he waits. Watches your face flush as you look down your body at him. “Say it.” Say you need him as much as needs you. Give him permission to claim you.

• “Your mouth, your hands. Anything,” you mumble in frustration and he chuckles. And drives a servo inside you. Eyes closing, you chase after your release, hips moving against his hand as he curls that servo inside you, stroking deep. “Jazz.” You groan when he stops again when you’re so close. Torturing you, dangling climax just out of your reach. When you lift your head and glare at him, he flashes you that crooked grin. Knowing exactly what he’s doing to you. But then he’s shifting over you and you catch a glimpse of his spike as he frees himself. Feel the head slide against you, then spear deep to stretch you.

• As much fun as teasing you is, this is so much better. “Primus, you’re tight, kitten.” Sinking into your wet heat, feeling how tight you are stretched around his spike. Taking all of him as he rocks his hips against you just to make you whimper. “Know how long I’ve wanted this?” He growls, shifting over you. How long you’ve haunted his recharge? Fantasizing about how you’d feel. The reality, though? You warm and soft under him, those little hands clinging to him as he moves against you? It blows the fantasies away. Knows he’s not going to last long as he thrusts against you, especially when you make those needy sounds for only him.

• Lips parting on a moan as his spike drives deep and he sets an urgent pace, you’re already so close from him mouth and servos, body wound tight as he ruts against you. His mouth brushes your temple, your cheek, his venting ragged as he makes a low growling moan. Shifts over you, hips pumping against you and you come apart with a cry. Thrusts growing more frantic, rougher as he drags it out, before he snarls and sheaths himself deep. And you feel him release inside you, servos tangling in your hair to force your head up and his mouth hungrily claims yours, devouring and almost overwhelming. When he finally breaks the kiss, his lips brush under your eye when he speaks. “You okay, doll?” And that uncertainty warms you as you press your own mouth to his jaw.

• Soft strokes of his lips against your closed eyelids, your temple, your cheek. Can’t get enough of you, the way you feel like you’re made to fit him, how you see right through him and don’t expect him to keep up the front. Like the real him under the lies even if he’s not really okay all the time. “More than okay,” you whisper with a little laugh and his mouth finds yours again. Entertaining the thought of just staying here. Disappearing and staying mass displaced with you. Forget the war and everyone who’s counting on him, so many needing him. Be happy. Heal. And knowing he can’t do that, that happiness isn’t meant for bots like him, but as long as you’ll allow him, he wants to steal as much of your time as he possibly can. Wants to imprint your smile so thoroughly in his spark that even if you leave him down the road, he can keep a part of you forever, because you’re going to ruin him. You already have.

Previous

Next

[natalchartnurtures]

So tell me Taylor, Who am I gonna take to be my ~Lover~?

Want a sneak peak into who YOU'RE gonna take to be your significant-long-term partner?

(pile 1 to 3- left to right)

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1:

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my Lover..

Let me say this. You're opening card is the ten of cups, right of the bat.. there's this beautiful love I feel between the two of you. Their presence in your life would either happen as a consequence of you resolving some of your deep subconscious beliefs that kept you limited in terms of love or.. some of you beautiful folks I feel your person will help prove your limiting beliefs around love wrong. This part of your relationship may feel a lil scary and intense but your love for them will end up helping you all the way through.

Oh wow.. I'm getting that you and your person will take on life together, almost with this feeling of being comrades. Especially during your more difficult and uncertain times, your relationship with them will only get stronger. Its giving Bestie energy ✨️ Don't we love that around here? Hehe

They really help you calm down if you're prone to anxiety and/or overthinking. Their energy has a really calming effect on you. Which is probably one of your favorite things about them 😊

I'm getting a strong message of this person being radically different from your previous partners. Maybe you are used to partners who are possessive, lack emotional intelligence and always gave you a reason to worry but I feel your person is a FAR cry from this kinda energy which will surprise you at first I'm ngl 😅 but once you get on board with the newness they bring, you'll have a beautiful relationship with them :')

"Equal give and take" I hear. Aw.

I feel like before you did the inner work with your subconscious mind, you attracted partners that weren't all that healthy but I see that as soon as you put away your wounds and old unhelpful beliefs that you might have picked up from childhood, that may have kept your energy stagnant, to rest they will show up into your life. You won't be able to miss it!

Side note: Ya'll reeeeeally remind me of Zendaya and Tom Holland. I kept having visions of them in my mind while I was channeling for your pile.. Isn't that something 👀

That was your reading, pile 1. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 2:

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

Ooh.. I feel your person being highly intelligent and just really smart overall. They seem quite deep to me.. their energy is direct and doesn't really play around. They definitely come off strong to you when you first meet them. They don't seem to enjoy small talk or socializing "just for fun" they seem to take their social life really seriously which is why they might keep to themselves mostly having a very TIGHT group they let themselves mingle with.

I have to say this.. your person has developed an incredible relationship with their mind. A quite healthy one after years of suffering mental agony they have figured out how to master their own mind and as a result they seem quite mature and come off quite stable. They're giving off a strong regal vibe, like, they have a lot of self respect and/or a lot of people seem to respect your person. Your person strikes me like the kind that not everybody necessarily likes but somebody who is respected and revered (in some cases) nonetheless. Wow. Strong vibes. They could be quite an intense person too ngl. They might like to dip their toes into psychology or simply put, the Scorpionic arts or.. just be interested in the occult from time to time 👀

They may not believe in love before they meet you tbh.

They like to believe in what they have evidence for and seems like before meeting you they simply hadn't find evidence of real love.. aw, that's low-key so cute!

Your person comes off quite practical and earthy. They may move in a very strategic way, keeping their plans (and their life in general) mostly to themselves.. which is giving PRIVATE energy. They seem hella private 👀 haha

So you know they're gonna keep your relationship to themselves like it's a scared, precious thing that they gotta safeguard :')

Meeting you will POSITIVELY flip their world upside down. If there's one thing they don't understand, its love and romance. When you walk into their life, being your cute ass self, they won't know what to do with themselves and despite them being successful in their lives prior to meeting you, they'd feel lost with you. You make them feel.. dumb haha. Or they perceive it that way. You might think it to be ridiculously cute lmao.

They're definitely gonna feel A BURNING passion for you right from the get go and that's how they'll know that you're their person!

That was your reading, pile 2. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 3:

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my lover

So.. you guy's person and you come together in an interesting way. This is immediately telling me that your person is someone you don't expect to fall in love with. Ya'll might know each other for a while (depending on each person for how long exactly) and the feelings develop overtime. For some this person might reveal their feelings on accident while being drunk one night or something along those lines lmao (very specific, so take that with a grain of salt) lol but yea it's gonna be one of those really cute friends-to-lovers type situation with you and your person or enemies-to-lovers too maybe? 👀 Some KANTHONY vibes coming through #Bridgerton <3

Haha anyway.

You won't foresee a relationship between you and your person before it happens :p

Your person.. seems to have endured a partner before you (or many partners) who didn't really care for them. This may even be a feminine friend/family member as well. They broke your person's heart in a significant way and may even have manipulated you person into staying in the relationship (be it romantic or otherwise) which they eventually stood up to. Seems like a Karmic situation too btw. This Karmic situation, really helped your person grow and evolve into the person who was truly meant for you tho 😊 yay. They've healed from this previous heartbreak and somehow this road of healing brings them to you. Ah.. The reason why this previous relationship is coming into picture is because- they probably meet you while healing from this old situation.. they'd be hard at work trying to resolve the pain the went through and their reward for doing that is.. your love. AW. STOP IT! THAT'S CUTE <3

Ya'll remind me of that song "You Belong With Me" by our queen Taylor Swift. The lyrics are playing through my head now as I channel your person's energy. You could have additional messages in that song 😊

That was your reading, pile 3. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[pissterdaniel]

TIT AUCKLAND FINAL RECAP

the spoilery stuff is at the bottom of the post, the rest is safe

Since June there has been a discord server going for everyone at the Auckland show. It was amazing to make so many friends before even going to the show. We all got to know each other in the months leading up to the event. Super cool!

We all met up for lunch before the show to hang out and exchanged our crafts. (craft haul x) It made me so happy to see people excited to meet Carlos and my dolls :).

@peter-must-die with his amazing shirt holding Carlos

We made our way to the KTK theater, and I bought some merch. Literally shouted when I opened my photocards to see BLONDE QUIFF PHIL!!!!!! :O

I came PREPARED for my meet and greet, had an agenda broken down into 3 steps. I had been overthinking this for months and have lost so much sleep from tit anxiety. The plan was very helpful! I was revising it in the line.

My hands were totally full. Sister Daniel kept on escaping my grip, we think she was trying to run away. I also recall repeatedly doing my Christophe Giacometti (from yuri on ice) impression in the line.

In the meet and greet line I discovered that I randomly have a lot of upper body strength 😅. I was giving out VERYYY tight deep pressure hugs to people who wanted them. It was very calming. I also got a stopwatch out and we did some 4/4/8 breathing. Then our time was almost up, and WE COULD SEE DAN.

I filmed Max's meet and greet for them first. So that was good getting to spend a minute or so in front of Dan and Phil before it was my turn. I had briefed Max on my agenda, so they knew exactly what to do. My full meet and greet post with photos and the video are here (x). THANK YOU SO MUCH @shitwheresfoxy FOR BEING THE BEST GLAMOUROUS ASSISTANT EVER!

Phil did not seem like a human. I stupidly told him he was like an animatronic robot. He is just SO BEAUTIFUL IT DOESNT SEEM REAL. You need to understand, PHIL LESTER IS SO ETHERALLY GORGEOUS IT IS OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!!!! He's just so 🥰. No wonder Dan can't stop looking at him like that in the videos. I get it now.

Dan definitely led my m&g, and I've heard others say this too. He does most of the talking, offers to take the photos, and he had the biggest reactions to things. I made him cackle a few times and I will wear that like a badge of honour. Some other highlights include:

Dan's first reaction to Carlos "uhh.. what?"

Dan's crab hands in our selfie

Dan talking to my camera whilst I fetched something from Max

Their first reaction to my dolls

Phil waving and saying bye to me

BONUS 1 MINUTE AND 39 MINUTE VIDEO OF PHIL HOLDING CARLOS, THIS MEANS THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO ME

I am slightly embarrassed about how excited I got, I went a bit nuts. Told them Carlos was "the love of my life" 🤦. Was completely hyper after the m&g, had major zoomies and couldn't calm down. That's when we caught up with the silver VIP people from the server.

@totally-srs-all-the-time made this STUNNING bedsheet cape and wanted to put it on me to have mega bed sheet titfit. Only when she held it up to me, I thought she was wanting to use it as a weighted blanket to calm me. So I lay on the floor 😂, she still put it on me and got this pic.

Met the phiwi backpack too!!!

I recorded our preshow and put it on youtube (x). Can't believe Olly's figure skating question was answered! That was wickedly cool. There is a very small group of us who got SUPER into ice skating these past couple of months. So to have our niche acknowledged by Dan himself was PHENOMENAL.

We all danced to HOTOGO, @einsteinfrizz 's amazing video from the balcony can be found here (x)

And then it was time for the show.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

I took notes during intermission and after the show of what I remembered.

Our conspiracies were:

Toilet, Clothes, Bus, and Vegas

"They share clothes." Went on about how their nipples touch the same cloth and did weird nipply gestures.

Lawyer Dan banned Australia, wrote erotic fanfiction about Gollum, and went to jail for killing phil. (Phil then said "hopefully he was not a CEO" and everyone CHEERED SO LOUDLY FOR AGES. They were both caught off guard by the big audience reaction, and it seemed like Dan was genuinely surprised/shocked that Phil said that.

Linguist Phil's favourite word was 'perky nana', he liked to help old ladies cum, and had a secret collection of lesbians.

Phil's 1 minute improv was on stationary. He thought the person said penis, but he changed it to pens, and then decided to change it to stationary. He told a story of how he had a cola scented gel pen and would fill in an entire page and just sniff it.

Early on in the show Phil thought he swallowed a fly and started choking. He then yelled for a "minion" to fetch him water. Dan was taken back by this and it was about a minute before a crew member walked on with his water bottle.

(I'm sensing this show is a lot of Phil saying off-script random shit and dan being shocked by him. Which honestly checks out.)

"Jesus but more shippable" IM SORRY WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY DAN

Phil said reject modernity embrace tradition correctly.

They still think the phanniversary was "last month."

Everyone yelling "gay" together in unison was so healing.

Phil messed up the song lyric again and said "I got the tattoo" instead of "you"

SISTER DANIEL HOLY FUCK WHERE DO I BEGIN. I was in the 4th row on the left side which is where she stood. I knew all the spoilers going into it BUT NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME. I screamed at the top of my lungs when I first saw her come out. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF GETTING TO SEE HER IN PERSON I WILL NEVER TAKE THAT FOR GRANTED. She is so AAAH. Religious, eye-opening experiences were certainly had. AND SHE WAS IN DOC MARTENS. I'm never gonna be able to put into words how feral she made me.

I would say that I was very familiar with the show content before I got there. But in reality, everything was 100x weirder than I thought it would be. I mean that in the best way possible!!! Dnp were OFF. THE. RAILS. They were still the same people you see in the videos, but uncut and UNLEASHED.

AND THEN THERE WAS THE FACT THAT I WENT HOME WITH AN ACTUAL PROP?!?!?!

At the end of the show, I rushed to the front of the stage to steal the confetti. (I'm a hoe for collecting show confetti, I did the same thing at WAD).

Whilst I was collecting confetti and taking pics of Carlos, one of the stagehands came out a few times, handing out the Australian props to random people standing at the stage.

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!! Here are some close-up photos I took of Obi Wan, and a video of what he can do (x). I walked into TIT with a Sister Daniel and Father Philip doll, and I came out of TIT with Phobi Phan Phenobi.

I also got one of the role model or no-le model cards, it is blank on the other side apart from their signature.

I also got to get up and close with other people's props. I even got to play Max's ukulele. I played the TIT song and I can tell you first hand that that thing was VERY out of tune. I know Dan was only fake playing it, but at least tune it first 😂.

The day after, a big group of us went to Auckland Zoo! Man that was a lot of fun. We signed TABINOFs, and I got a bunchhhh of pics of Phobi Wan, my photo dump is here (x). @spanielt0wel also got a doll, so I made sure to get some photos with them together.

The post-tit depression is REALLLLLL. I miss being surrounded by like minded people. It was so easy to unmask and just be completely myself. I have never felt more like me than when I was surrounded by all the queer, neurodivergent phannies. This was the happiest I've felt in years. So thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who came to talk to me, and to all the friends I've made through the discord 💙.

Now I am back home and terrible influencing up my room cause I never want to forget this amazing experience.

The box frame was inspired by this one

The posters I got signed are looking GOOOOOD. Also Phobi Wan looks so silly sitting with my monster high dolls. I'm gonna treasure him forever. HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also thank you to everyone who voted on my poll you've convinced me that #4 is the way to go and I shall be ordering that flag soon.

THANK YOU TIT AUCKLAND

[creatingblackcharacters]

100% real genuine question:

Should relationships be different in fiction with Black characters? I have always heard to treat characters as people first and then whatever (race, sexuality, gender, disability, etc etc) second.

But reading that post about antiblackness in fandom one of the quotes said that the relationships were written as if they were white, which confused me.

Is it just saying that there were some moments that seemed inaccurate or racist because one of the characters was Black (like running fingers through hair, to name a minor one) or is there more?

Is it about how it reads to us because of the racist history irl?

I have several original stories containing Black characters and I've always tried to go out of my way to make them feel fully fleshed out and if I'm even slightly worried about one character feeling stereotypical, I try to fix it (and sometimes just add more characters that defy that stereotype. Like, one of my characters is a Black woman and as I developed her I decided she was a lesbian and leaned butch. After that I added feminine Black women, including lesbians, as well as nonBlack butches because I know the masculinization of Black people is a huge issue. Even though, this character is literally the only "masculine" Black woman, but not the first Black woman, I had written at the time, lol. )

I am probably overthinking and overexplaining. But now I am rethinking all of the relationships I have in my stories with Black characters in them. Diversity is really important to me and I hate to imagine myself contributing to racist views of Black characters...

(forgive me if I come across as a Whining White Woman™ I'm autistic so I genuinely want to know if I'm doing it wrong)

Well, if you haven't read my syllabus, I would highly suggest doing so! Because I could not possibly tell you everything you've potentially done based off of this ask 😅 but you might find some things that will help you narrow your scope in your own stories, and better your writing for the future.

When we say things like "they were written like a white person", it usually means that it's clear within the story that the character's Blackness, and therefore how they and their actions would be perceived both within and outside of the story, were not considered by the author. It's clear that the character was written to be white- which is what most people consider as the default- and then just made "Black" to fill in a box. I can tell when a character's Blackness matters to their identity, versus when I'm just reading a story with someone's blorbo with a bucket of brown paint.

Do you have Black readers? Black peers? Have you ever had any feedback about those characters- do you think perhaps asking a Black beta reader or sensitivity reader might assuage your concerns? You could always put up your fics on your page and ask directly! Be open to that feedback, though.

[mj0702]

For @tasha95 ... I hope it meets your expectations 😅 I got a little carried away 😅😅

“Bitsy I love you... I REALLY love you but this is ridiculous” Keira said one evening after training as you two were driving back to her home

“What?” you said absently as you looked up from your phone

“The situation between you and Ona” the blonde clarified

“There is no situation” you grumbled getting back on your phone

“There is... I don't know what happened and you know I'll never push you to tell me but I have eyes and the way Ona always looks over at you and you avoiding her like the pest is a dead give away that there is a situation” Keira said as she stopped at a red light

“There is no situation” you answered

“Bitsy” the blonde said softly

“I let a fan comment get the better of me and said some.. not so nice things” you mumbled

“What did the fan said that YOU of all people let it get to you?” Keira asked her hand finding your knee to calm you down

“They asked me if Lucy and Ona where a thing since Lstans wedding or before... you know.. back in Manchester” you mumbled getting even more ashamed

“Oh Bitsy... you started to overthink didn't you?” the blonde sighed

“Yeah... I called them hypocrites” you said looking down on your hands

“Why?” Keira asked confused

“Lucy was so upset about G and I and I really thought they started before....” you left the rest of the sentence open

“... you thought Lucy cheated on me with Ona?” Keira said confused and shocked

“Kinda... yeah” you mumbled

“And that would make Ona a hypocrite how?” the blonde started do push the answer out of you a little bit

“Don't know.... I was just so mad” you said honestly

“I DO understand where you're coming from Bits... and you know I'm always in your corner but you probably hurt Ona.. I know you didn't have it easy in the past but you need to suck it up and apologize” Keira said seriously her hand still on your knee squeezing it lightly

“I know.... I REALLY know... I just don't know HOW” you said your voice a little desperate

“Ona is very forgiving you know... pull her aside and apologize – a real honest apology and I can promise you she'll forget about it” the blonde smiled encouraging “... but you hurt her”

“I know... I feel very bad about it” you mumbled embarrassed

“Good.. you are an amazing person Bitsy – just show Ona” Keira smiled as she pulled into the driveway

That was one week ago. You still haven't apologized. Simply due to the fact that every time you talked some courage into yourself and you were on the way towards Ona to finally apologize someone called her, talked to her or swept her away for some media. So you retorted to you last resort which brought you to the current situation – slumped down against Lucys front door waiting for the familiar black Cupra to pull up. You were waiting now for two hours now and there was still no one in sight. Your phone nearly dead from all the texting with your girlfriend you were down to count the pedals of the roses in the small front yard. Finally there was a car coming down the street and you got some hope that it was Lucy but you soon realized that it wasn't. So you kept on waiting – you told Keira where you were so she wouldn't freak out but right now you wished for nothing more than someone familiar next to you. The sun began to set about 20 minutes ago and it started to get dark really quickly. You were tired – so so tired. Since you were back in Barcelona – and after you kind of worked through your trauma about your ACL and the realisation that you'll never ever play professional football again – you started to kick the ball around more often. Mostly with Mapí, Pina and Patri who never said a single word about how broken you looked. Even tho the three took it lightly with you it costed you a lot of Energy to keep up with them. The first time they saw you again when Lucy brought you back from Munich, your girlfriend right next to you not letting you out of her sight for a single second – they where shocked but never ever said a word about it and just accepted everything you were willing to give freely.

So you pulled the Barcelona Jacket you got from Alexia - in a small moment between the two of you – tighter around you and got a little more “comfortable” against the door. You didn't plan to fall asleep but eventually you did. That's how Lucy and Ona found you about one and a half hours later when they finally made their way home – having stopped for some dinner spontaneously on the way and then taking a little walk at the beach.

“Bubs? Hey Bubs” Lucy said softly and started to shake you lightly so she wouldn't startle you

“Hm??” you grunted lowly not really waking up

“Come on Bubs... it's getting cold here... let's get you inside” your sister said lovingly as she picked you up like you weight nothing

“Can't... need to wait for Ona.... need to pologize” you mumbled still three quarter asleep not realizing that Ona was right next to Lucy

“It's okay Bubs” Lucy mumbled into your hair holding you tightly against her while Ona unlocked the door “You can apologise tomorrow”

“No...” you whined as you drifted off to sleep again “... trying for a week now... always someone stealing her”

“She'll be right here when you wake up Bubs” your sister said as she carefully laid you down on “your” bed before leaving the room letting the door a small bit open so you wouldn't feel trapped if you'd wake up later

“She doesn't need to apologise” Ona said immediately as Lucy came back into the living room “I know she didn't mean it”

“She needs to... for her own sake... I saw how she tried the whole week to try and come over to talk to you” Lucy said as she opened a bottle of wine since they had a day off tomorrow

“When?” Ona asked confused not noticing how you struggled to find a way to talk to her “I kept an eye on her but every time I looked she was either deep in conversation or with the Trio of Trouble”

“Mhm...” your sister confirmed while passing a glass to her girlfriend “... and every time she looked over you were either in conversation or got stolen away for media – it drove me crazy to watch the two of you looking past each other for a week”

“Why didn't you say anything?” the spaniard said confused

“Not my place....” Lucy shrugged her shoulders “... that's something between her and you”

“Morning” you mumbled once you dragged yourself into the kitchen

“Bon dia Bebita” Ona said softly reaching you a cup of coffee

“I want to apologise” you mumbled lowly after you took a small sip of coffee

“No need Bebita...” the blonde started but you interrupted her immediately

“... yes need... what I did and say wasn't okay... not at all... Lucy and Keira always told me not to listen to fans or media... I don't know why this comment got to me the way it did.... maybe because Lucy was so... shitty about G and I... I don't know... but you had nothing to do with it... I'm sorry Ona... I'm sorry I pulled you into the shit I made up in my head” you said honestly but you couldn't bring yourself to look into her eyes

“Look at me...” Ona said firmly and you thought you really fucked up and your mind started to go a million miles an hour about how you just destroyed either the relationship between Lucy and Ona or even worse for you – the relationship between your sister and you

“... Bebita... I really appreciate your apology – I do...” the spaniard started softly “... but there is no need. I know how certain comments can hurt – especially if they're made to get a reaction out of you... and I followed some pages online and not one of them posted anything about Lucys and mine relationship other than the usual – so you didn't let that comment get to you until you were out of the situation and that's worth more than every apology... at least to me... you didn't comment on it you left and you didn't bring Lucy or I in a situation where we had to think about a plan to do “damage control”... you showed me that you accept me and our relationship... and that's the biggest gift you could give me”

[symptomsofdeceit]

What’s it like to make out with Nalis? Just imagine randomly during a chat at work the player is like “I want to make out with you, can I?” and is not joking, and if he agrees immediately starts kissing him. 😀

This isn’t explicit but it’s a bit suggestive so it’s under a cut to be safe! Also warning this is a very long answer 😅 it’s almost like 3 mini fanfics

It depends!

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

• If you have NOT gotten ending 3, so Nalis has never thought about kissing before:

When you first ask he’d agree, almost out of habit because he always likes trying new things with you. He wouldn’t have had time to genuinely think about it yet though. When you kiss him he’d blush a lot and make a pathetic uncharacteristic sound between a whine/moan/gasp. He would then suddenly excuse himself because he “forgot something he needs to do”.

He’d find somewhere private ASAP - still blushing and feeling very out of control of his emotions. If your kiss was more intimate / your body was pressed against him, he’d also be extremely hard and end up with a nose bleed (idc if it’s unrealistic, it’s fun and I’m cursing him with nose bleeds when aroused. I need to add that to his current kissing scene too).

You wouldn’t see him for the rest of the day, he’d text some excuse about work being busy. If you’re the type to overthink he’d also send a “btw thanks for always being a good friend!” message in an attempt to make sure you don’t think he’s mad at you 💀

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

• If you have gotten ending 3:

Nalis would start blushing when you ask this. Up until now you’ve only really seen him blush when he admits you’re a good friend/important to him, and that’s always felt very innocent and genuine. If you’re perceptive you might be able to tell that it feels a little different here.

Nalis would probably reply with something teasing like “Oh~? You want to kiss me? Have you… thought about kissing me before?” while trying to at least partially hide the excitement in his voice. He’d feel really conflicted between really wanting to kiss you again (especially now that you want to and know it’s him), but also feeling anxious because of how he can’t control these emotions.

If it’s too soon after ending 3, Nalis would probably end up pretending to get a work call and using an excuse to push this off until later. He’s just not sure about how to handle having feelings + desires that are above his control yet.

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

I’m including this as a fun little bonus:

• If, for some insane reason, after ending 3 you have another encounter with “Thaumo shapeshifted to look like Nalis” and asks to kiss him:

Nalis would start laughing in a pretty unhinged way. He’d sound like a weird mix between mocking and sweet and ask “Really, girlie/buddy? You want to kiss me again?” He’d quickly walk closer to you and pin you against the closest wall.

He’d be very insistent on asking why, trying to figure out if you want to kiss him because you think he’s Thaumo, or if it’s because he looks like Nalis.

Either way, after asking that he’d kiss you. It would be more possessive and aggressive while he’s struggling with all his emotions. He’d also break the kiss to ask if you wished he was “the real Nalis”. By the end of it he’d be very turned on and his nose would be bleeding, and he’d be feeling very unstable depending on your answers.

(Nalis is willing to do more when you think he’s Thaumo because then there’s no risk of you losing trust in Nalis)

[diazsdimples]

🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️♾️ (This one already has a chokehold on me)

30 sentences of the most niche AU I've created 😅 + another 9 for the infinity symbol.

He comes to a stop in the foyer, his eyes straying to the large grandfather clock ticking away merrily in the corner. It’s 4 o’clock now, meaning his parents’ dinner party begins in 2 hours, and there’s still another 7 until he’s due to meet the contact. Leaning against the banister of the grand marble staircase, Buck ponders his instructions. Look for the beginning of new life. That line in particular confuses Buck. Bryant Park hasn’t had new trees planted since the Fuhrer visited in the late 40’s, and unless Josephine Shaw Lowell had something to do with obstetrics, he’s completely at a loss. Life can begin in many different ways, but he struggles to connect it with the location. There’s a large stretch of lawn behind the fountain, sweeping up to the steps of the public library. Maybe new life could equate to new ideas, that one might get from reading a book? Buck shakes his head, trying to clear his mind. He’s overthinking it and he need to catch himself before he spirals and panics. There can be no room for error tonight. He turns on his heel to make his way to the library, eager to find something to take him out of his head for a moment, when a loud tut from behind him stops him in his tracks. With the familiar sinking feeling of dread, Buck turns to face his father. “Your mother is hosting a dinner party with some of the most influential members of the Nazi party in 2 hours, and you’re not even dressed yet? What have you been doing?” Buck bites his lip before he says something stupid like “committing the highest form of treason by conspiring to overthrow the Fuhrer and drive the Nazis from out country.” Instead, he takes a deep breath through his nose, pulling his face into a neutral expression. He won’t give his father a reason to be angry with him. “Reading a book Maddie sent me,” he replies coolly. His father rolls his eyes and adjusts one of the shining golden domes on the sleeve of his crisp uniform. Buck has always hated the way he insists on strutting around in that godforsaken uniform every day, looking like a prized peacock with his medals and shiny buttons. “The Reich doesn’t like men who have the heads in books, Evan. They’re of no use to us.” His tone drips with disapproval, but Buck is too accustomed to it for there to be any real effect on him. “I’m sorry to be such a disappointment, Father,” he replies stiffly. “I’ll make sure I don’t disgrace you in front of your – ah – friends.” His father narrows his eyes but says nothing more, dismissing Buck with a jerked nod of his head. Buck takes the stairs two at a time and makes a beeline for his room. He slams the solid oak door and leans against it, breathing heavily. Maddie. Mentioning his sister to his father had made his gut twist with guilt. She won’t know what happened to him when the news of his disappearance reaches her. His parents likely won’t do much other than the expected reports with the police. They won’t search for him like they would have done if it were Daniel. Maddie forever think she’s lost another baby brother. He can’t do that to her. Running a hand through his hair, Buck crosses the room in 2 long strides and throws himself at his desk, rummaging through the drawers for a piece of paper and a fountain pen. He reaches for the battered copy of Charlotte’s Web, their favourite book as children, and thumbs through until he reaches the cipher at the very back, before he begins to write.

Tagging @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 @spotsandsocks and @steadfastsaturnsrings for potential interest

[cuephrase]

2024 Writing Review

tagged in this by @androxys, tysm!!

number of stories posted to ao3: four- three drabbles, one one-shot and one multi-chap fic

word counted posted for last year: 37, 886!! that's so much for me, crazy (both 2022 and 2023 were around 7k, for comparison)

fandoms i wrote for: batman - all media types, babyyyy. two of the drabbles were very comic specific so i have batman (comics) and nightwing (comics) tagged. wait. lmao that was wrong, i've edited it now, was supposed to be batgirl (comics) someone help me oh my god

pairings: we've got two hits for Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, then Cassandra Cain & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Everyone, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, and Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne

so, bc that's giving me a headache, five Dick tags, four Tim tags, four Bruce tags, four Jason tags, and one Cass tag. all but three of those are one fic tho lmao.

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads: penance, far and away. that fic got (is getting?) so much more love than i could have imagined or hoped for. absolutely mind-blowing fr

work i’m most proud of (and why): okay so this is a tie between penance and plea for two completely opposite reasons! penance is the first multichap fic i've ever completed and that's a huge milestone for me. plea i'm really proud of bc it's only 100 words but i feel like i managed to accomplish absolutely everything i wanted to and it's sooooooo satisfying to me.

work i’m least proud of (and why): hmmmmm. maybe inventory? it was supposed to be fluff and i corrupted it. so that frustrates me when i think about it even though the finished product isn't bad.

share or describe a favorite review you received: oh gosh ummmmm. help. i really loved every comment letting me know they'd cried real tears bc i am Evil. but if i had to choose one comment, i think this one has stuck with me the most (some parts blocked out bc Spoilers)

the fic has an ending spoiler now that it's complete, but when i was posting it i hadn't totally nailed the ending down. that apprehension meant so much to me, that willingness to follow the story- i could be reading into it idk, but i really value the trust that early readers had because, quite frankly, i don't think i had earned it. i also loved that they both couldn't decide what to think about tim and that they liked it- what i was portraying is messy and complicated and i think there's a really fine line there between stuff being ooc or frustrating or exhausting or dissatisfying with that kind of thing, so it was super !!!!! to have successfully walked that line for them!

but my favorite part of this comment is easily "the power of love is truly an ugly and beautiful thing...made me appreciate life". i don't really write romances, but the power of love is one of those things i end up wrestling with thematically a lot because it's just so captivating and it's one of those things i feel like i can't ever find the words for actually, i need you to just feel it and they felt it and- yeah. just yeah. and then writing/storytelling is something i use to help me appreciate life so overall just 🥹😭🫶 x1000

a time when writing was really, really hard: after i finished penance, rip. i got psyched out by all the positive attention and couldn't write 😅. there were plenty of times this year where i just wasn't trying to write so like i guess that was hard, but being paralyzed by overthinking when i had plenty of ideas and wanted to write Sucked. it's okay, i talked to my therapist finger guns

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: slight penance spoilers lol, but in ch 3, the dick and tim hug surprised me. not that it happened, bc i knew it was going to, but i just had the image of the scene, yk, not like. how it would truly feel to be in dick's headspace in that moment. and omg. it just attacked me. i couldn't stop crying it was so frustrating. i'd pause to collect myself, come back and just nope. the scene is actually shorter than i originally envisioned bc i physically couldn't smh

a favourite excerpt of your writing: oh gosh. um um ummmmmm i really like this bit from ch 1 of penance-

this moment was just incredibly fun for so many reasons, not least of which is that i got to break tim for the first time 😇

how did you grow as a writer last year: i learned that i can, in fact, start and finish something that isn't a one shot. idk if my writing has improved on a technical level at all? but, despite it being a bit of a one step forward, two steps back thing at times, i do think i gained some confidence in my ability to write and that'll be really nice in the long run if i can, yk. take the steps forward without going back.

how do you hope to grow this year: by writing more. i want to actually write things instead of daydreaming and maybe getting down like twenty words and then never looking at it again. at my most ambitious, i build a habit.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): oh shoot. i got so much support from so many people i almost don't know where to start. i am so beyond grateful to everyone who has supported me, and i'm going to single out @a-canceled-stamp, @canonicallyshort, and @koraesrambles for enabling the crap out of me. love you guys sm!!!! (that extends to everyone not just those three ofc!!)

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: the grieving process haha.

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: oh gosh ummmmmm. follow your gut. forget about audience, and rules, and whatever- if you know the story you want to tell, tell that story. just get it out. it deserves to be told.

any projects you’re looking to start (or finish) this year: the sequel to penance. my jason fic, my dick fic. i don't want to get ahead of myself or anything, but i hope i've got a handful of fics to look back on next year!!

no pressure tagging @sunflowersandink, @goldenraeofsun, @fleur-de-violette, @byrambles, and @elegitre (plus everyone already tagged)!!

[charlottesbookclub]

quality time – a 'time after time' bonus chapter (armitage hux x reader)

time after time masterlist – (this chapter is set after 'by design')

Summary: Armitage has an idea for how the two of you can spend your time together

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader; set pre-TFA; mention of injuries; mention of medications; let me know if I've missed anything!

Words: 5886

Author’s Note: okay so this is the last part of the little trilogy of scenes I've been posting! ☺️ there's some nervousness/embarrassment here, but really it's mostly fluff in the end! 🥰 it's been kinda fun but also a little bit of a challenge to re-situate myself back in this earlier moment of their relationship when both of them are still a little hesitant about things, but I hope it still feels true to that era of the story! 💕

also, I maybe should have mentioned this earlier, but my posting schedule has finally caught up with the backlog of things I have written, so this will be the last one to post on a "regular" schedule for a while; after this it will just be as I finish things, so I'm very sorry for that! ❤️‍🩹 also though, in classic writer fashion, I think because I've been writing so much lately (compared to what I've done in the past) I'm now like very conscious of my own writing and I've convinced myself that it's not as good as it was before and that I just keep saying the same things/using the same language over and over again, so I'm going to try to take some time and work on the ideas I have and write them in a way that I feel better about, if that makes sense? but I think (or at least I hope 😅) this is a fear that a lot of writers have, so I think I just need to work through this and get to a point where I feel more confident about my work again! anyway, all that to say that my posting will be less regular now, but I'm always super happy to answer asks and/or do blurbs and headcanon stuff while I'm working on longer pieces in the background! thank you all so much for sticking around and enjoying the story! 🥰🥰

By the time Armitage’s duties concluded the next cycle, he had come up with a way to make his hour with you even more enjoyable for both of you. He was absolutely adamant that you should feel engaged, and although you truly seemed to like watching him work, he wanted you to feel involved too. To that end, he entered your bedroom with not one, but two sets of design paper and an extra stylus. You greeted him with your sunbeam smile and he instantly felt lighter. Kriff, he loved getting to just be with you. 

He laid the supplies on the table before coming to perch on the edge of your bed. He had spent the last few hours working himself up to this. He so desperately wanted to, but he was equally terrified of doing it wrong. You watched him with soft eyes and a warm smile as he settled himself in front of you. With the was heat was gathering around his collar, he knew his cheeks were certainly quite red. 

In the garden, his actions had been propelled by what he felt in the moment. Now he feared he was far overthinking things. He tried to make himself take a deep breath, but was not particularly successful at it. Knowing his ability to produce words was mostly nonexistent, he reached a terrified hand that he was barely able to keep from trembling up to your cheek. You melted into his touch instantly, letting him cradle your face in his hand. He was beginning to feel quite faint.

Before he could either pass out or talk himself out of it, he leaned forward slowly, angling his lips to meet yours. You made a little sound of surprise that almost made him pull back, but before he could commit to the action, you had leaned in towards him as well, and suddenly your lips were on his. Now even more than before, Armitage was painfully aware that he had no idea what he was doing. This was only his second real kiss ever. He tried to just let his mouth mold against yours until the glorious sensation of kissing you made his thoughts so incoherent that he barely worried about what he was doing anymore, all that mattered was that he was kissing you.

Almost without thinking, he let his thumb trace lightly over the underside of your jaw, and his other hand found your waist, trying both to gently pull you closer and keep you steady so he didn’t accidentally jostle your injured leg. You let out the tiniest gasp as his fingers pressed lightly into the soft skin above your hip, and he was about to stop again until he felt your fingers lace through his hair, and any thought he had of pulling away from you was instantly dissolved. Armitage was certain there was no drink in the galaxy that could make him feel this blissfully intoxicated.

Eventually you had to pull back slightly to gasp for air, but you left your forehead pressed against his, your hands linked behind his neck as you worked to regulate your breathing. It wasn’t until after he had pulled away from you that he realized he needed air too, finding that he was just as breathless as you.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you said after your breaths were steadier. The teasing lilt in your voice and slight tilt of your head were utterly endearing. “I suppose I didn’t realize the full breadth of activities I could choose from for my hour with you,” you mused, fingers reaching up to brush back some of the strands of his hair that your hands had dislodged.

It took him a long moment to process your words, but when he finally understood your meaning, it took everything in him to not collapse on the spot. The thought of kissing you for an hour was truly making him feel close to blacking out. The idea that you would want to kiss him for an hour was only intensifying that sensation. 

“But I do truly want to watch you design too,” you added brightly, leaning back further so you could settle against the pillows. Armitage realized that probably meant he should stand, move to the chair, and prepare his materials, but it took him another long moment to clear his thoughts of spending a whole hour kissing you and to overcome the intense feeling of lightheadedness that those thoughts induced. When he finally felt steady enough, he passed one more adoring caress over your cheek – which you leaned into happily – before standing to ready the things he had brought.

As he pushed the table toward the bed and you moved so that you could see what was on it, you looked at him in slight confusion. On his side was the design he had begun yesterday, and on yours was a sheet of blank design paper. He sank into the chair.

“Are you planning to finish this one and start another?” you asked.

“No,” he responded, hoping you would be receptive to his idea, “that one’s for you.”

“Me?” you echoed in complete disbelief. “Armitage, I—I can’t design anything. I only ever took the one course and I don’t have… ideas for ships like you do. I wouldn’t even know where to start.” The nervousness in your voice was making him feel a little ill. Kriff, he didn’t want you to be nervous.

“You don’t need to design something,” he assured you quickly. “You can do anything: make a drawing or copy the shapes from one of your decorations or just make lines and spirals. I just—” He tightened his hand into a fist and looked away for a moment, gathering the words he wanted to say. “You can still watch me work, but I want— well, I would really like you to feel engaged in the process too.”

Stars, was that way too much? Designing things – especially with you there – brought him so much joy, and if he could offer you even a fraction of that, then he wanted to. But maybe it was foolish, or even self-centered of him to think that you would enjoy it too. But kriff, he didn’t know how else to tell you that he wanted to just do things with you, for you to have a nice time and be able to do something engaging and spend time together. Maybe he should have been more creative with his ideas, but designing things was one of the few things apart from being with you that he knew he truly enjoyed, so he would have had no idea what else to suggest. Kriff, he just wanted you to be happy, and this was the best way he could think of to show you that. But as usual, he found his attempt at expressing that to be awkward and halting. Why did he have to do everything in such a strange and faltering way? Stars, why couldn’t he just be natural at this? 

“Oh,” you said softly, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts. He chanced a glance up at you then, only to find your expression to be exceptionally soft. “Armitage, that’s so thoughtful.”

Relief washed through him. You thought it was thoughtful. You understood what he was trying to say. His chest seized with adoration and gratitude that you had received his awkward attempt at expressing his affection for you with such generosity.

“You can stop at any time,” he assured you. “Or you don’t have to do anything with it at all.”

“Well, I haven’t tried it since I was probably eight,” you laughed lightly, “but maybe I’ll attempt to draw something. So long as you promise not to laugh at me.” Your eyes were sparkling when he met your gaze, and his heart stuttered in his chest.

“I would never,” he promised, absolutely meaning it. He would destroy every design he had ever created before making you feel ashamed of anything. It was a feeling he was only too familiar with, and he was determined that you wouldn’t experience it – especially not at his hands. You beamed back at him.

“Oh! And before we get started, I had another question that I wanted to ask,” you said, skimming your fingers lightly over the paper in front of you. “How do you know when you’re done designing on paper? When do you digitize your designs?”

Kriff, he still almost couldn’t believe that you were asking him genuine questions about this, that you were truly interested in his designs and his process. Everything in him felt warm and light as sparks of excitement burst to life in his body.

“Most of my experimental designs don’t make it off paper,” he admitted. It was a reality he had resigned himself to long ago. As much as he relished the process of designing these experimental ships, he understood that the resources and time needed to produce them and train personnel to use them would never be justifiable. But perhaps one day… “It’s not realistic to produce most of my personal designs. So I don’t spend the time to digitally render and model them.”

“Oh.” You seemed truly saddened by the idea that his ships never took flight from their paper hangars. “I’d fly your ships, realistic or not,” you told him, and suddenly he was sinking into the warm depth of your gaze, the incredible sweetness of your words soaking into his body and leaving a glowing light behind. It took him a moment to configure his response.

“I’d love for you to fly my ships. If I ever produce any of them, the first flight is yours.” Stars, the very idea of it was setting off fireworks within him, cascades of warmth and light trailing across his body.

“I’d like that,” you responded excitedly, seemingly as thrilled about the idea as he was. Kriff, he was getting lightheaded again.

With one more bright smile, you tentatively picked up your stylus and turned your focus to the paper in front of you. Armitage took that as his cue to do the same, not wanting to make you nervous by watching you. 

His eyes traced the lines he had completed the cycle before, recentering himself within the design and beginning to feel the ship under his fingers. The excitement he always felt when working on his designs bubbled up within him, and soon his stylus was flying over the page, building out the ideas he could envision so clearly in his mind. He could feel the gentle comfort of your presence so close to him, a sensation that only increased his happiness as warm sparks scattered throughout his body.

He was completing this first rough pass at his design when his datapad beeped. He set down his stylus and leaned back slightly to appraise his work. He felt it was one of the best he had worked up in a long time, a fact that he was glad to put down at least in part to your influence. Glancing up, he found you just laying aside your own stylus before you caught his gaze.

“That was fun,” you said, your words clearly infused with joy. “Stars, I haven’t done anything like that in so long.” Armitage was practically glowing, thrilled that you had enjoyed yourself – that was all he had wanted anyway.

“How did your designing go?” you asked eagerly.

“Quite well, I think,” he responded, lifting his work so that you could see. You leaned forward, eyes flicking attentively over the design. It was almost beyond his belief that he felt so comfortable – excited, even – to show his personal designs to someone else. But you made everything feel different – warm and light and wonderful.

“Even on paper, it looks fast,” you informed him, shooting him a brilliant smile. He was surprised you had seemed so self-conscious about your skills in decoding his work – you had instantly parsed the design’s main purpose, even from his messy, abbreviated draft work.  

“Yes – yes, precisely!” His words were giddier than usual, but he couldn’t resist his own enthusiastic response. “It’s meant to be very fast.” Stars, he would love it if you had the chance to fly it one day.

He set the design down then, consumed with curiosity as to what you had made. Your expression turned sheepish under his expectant gaze, and he was about to assure you that you didn’t have to show him – even though he really did want to see it – when you spun the paper so that he could look. 

He leaned closer, taking in what you had created. Clearly, you had opted for a drawing. The page was framed with trees that featured little animals clinging to the leafy branches. There were sketchy outlines of ships in both upper corners. In the center of the composition were two figures, and Armitage’s breathing threatened to stop entirely for a moment when he realized you had drawn you and him. You had rendered the two of you standing under the arch of leaves above, hands clasped together. He pressed a hand to his lips as his throat suddenly tightened. 

He was looking at a version of himself he had never seen. He typically didn’t spend much time staring into the mirror except to focus on his hair, and the image of himself that he was most familiar with was his official appearance as a general of the First Order: proud, reserved, well-ordered, stoic, commanding. His fingers hovered over the delicate lines you had used to render your depiction of him, his hand trembling slightly. You had drawn a few loose strands of hair framing his face and had even picked out some light freckles in barely-there marks of the stylus. He still had his signature upright posture, but you had made it seem almost inviting somehow, his arms open, one hand linked with yours, the other raised toward one of the animals in the trees. And he was smiling – just softly, but still. He was truly struggling to regulate his choppy breaths. He looked so different, much kinder, more welcoming – descriptors he had never associated with himself. But kriff, he wanted to be like that for you. Was that how you saw him? His eyes were beginning to tighten slightly at the corners.

Then he cast his eyes over the rest of the drawing, following the line of your interlinked hands. Your posture echoed his own: one hand clasped in his, the other raised up to an animal in the trees. Kriff, even in the sketchy white lines, you looked so happy to be there with him, your eyes meeting his as you smiled back at him. Was this how you felt when you were with him? Oh stars, he had hoped so, but he had such a hard time getting himself to truly believe it. But you had drawn it, the proof was sitting right there in front of him. He didn’t think he had ever seen anything so beautiful. 

He looked up then, desperately trying to compress the overwhelming rush of emotion he was experiencing into words, realizing he was suddenly very much at risk of crying over a drawing. He found you looking back at him with intense anxiety, your face already crumpled a little. His shock at your expression stopped any sentence he might have tried to form.

“Sorry,” you said as soon as you met his gaze, “I—I know it’s probably kind of… well, bad and—and maybe childish. You can—well, you can just throw it out after if you want to.”

Armitage instantly felt ill. How could you think it was bad or childish? Why would he ever want to throw it out? He fought through the rising tide of both nausea and unshed tears to try to express to you that your drawing was one of the most wonderful things he had ever seen.

“It’s beautiful.” It was a miracle the words left his mouth at all, but he pushed them through the tightness in his throat and the tears gathering behind his eyes. Your expression shifted into one of disbelief. He needed to say more. He clenched his hand into a fist beneath the table, using the pressure to force the words from his mouth.

“Can you tell me…” He needed to stop halfway through to attempt to clear his throat before continuing. “What we’re doing?” He gestured to the drawn images of you and him, holding hands in a forest and reaching up toward the trees.

“It’s… well, it’s kind of stupid, maybe,” you hedged, clearly still not believing his words.

“It’s not,” he insisted. Kriff, there was not a single thing about you or your drawing that was stupid. Realizing that his words were not as eloquent as he wished them to be, he reached across the table and took his hand in yours, hoping a gesture might convey what his mouth could not. You glanced down, watching his fingers fold around yours. When you looked back up at him, he thought he could see some of the embarrassment easing itself from your face. He swallowed, and the words came out strained, but at least he said them: “I promise it’s not.”

You searched his face for a moment, as though trying to measure the truth of his words, and he hoped that you found his absolute sincerity in his eyes. Then you took a deep breath, your gaze angling back to your drawing.

“We’re on my favorite planet where I was assigned for fieldwork,” you explained. “It was this jungle planet – not the one from the holofilm, a different one,” you clarified, a little smile creeping onto your face, no doubt at the memory of your first official date with him. His own memories of that cycle combined with the fact that you clearly remembered it just as fondly were spreading a golden glow within him.

“The trees there were huge. To be honest, before I was stationed there, I didn’t even know living things could getthat big,” you continued, a little awe in your voice as you recounted your memories of the planet. “And there were these little creatures that lived in them. They were mostly skittish of humans, but there was a preserve there where they were more used to people, and the conservators would let you feed them fruit if you came at the right time in the cycle. I only did it a couple times because I was usually on duty, but it was really fun the times I was able to go. So I just drew us doing that because it was one of my favorite little things I did while I was in the field, and I thought— well, I thought maybe it would be fun to do… with you. So I drew it. But maybe that’s too silly.” Your last sentence came out as barely a whisper, your worried eyes searching his as though trying to determine his reaction.

Armitage pressed his steepled fingers against his lips, squeezing his eyes closed for a moment as a sob threatened to escape his chest. You had drawn the two of you doing one of your favorite things. Kriff, you wanted him to be a part of that with you. You thought it would be fun to do that together, to share something that had brought you joy with him. Tears were beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes, his body no longer able to completely contain the emotion that was steadily rising within him. 

“It’s not silly,” he was finally able to assure you, even if he was certain you could probably hear the evidence of his tears in his voice. “I—kriff, I—I would love to do that with you.” The words were so choppy and inelegant as they staggered from his mouth, but they were precisely what he wanted to say. The worry melted from your face as a little smile began to tug at your lips. Thank the stars that you must have been able to hear the absolutely sincerity in his voice.

“What—um, what are the ships?” He cleared his throat again, regaining some control over his senses as he indicated to the little shapes in the upper corners.

“Oh!” You followed his gesture, your finger coming to land over one and then the other as you explained. “One of the things about the planet was that the transport shuttles I took always struggled with the atmosphere, so whenever I would have to leave and then return to the planetside base, there would be a lot of turbulence on the way in that would make me feel kind of queasy. And I thought – well, actually I know – that you could design a much better ship that wouldn’t have such an issue with entering the atmosphere. I wasn’t sure what it would look like, but that’s what that one represents. And the other one is your updated design for the Star Destroyer, even though I think I didn’t do it very accurately. But we still needed somewhere to live, and the field bases aren’t always the most comfortable, so we can live on the ship instead, since I’m sure it would be the best Star Destroyer ever.”

Armitage instantly lost the battle he was fighting against his tears. He pushed himself up from the table, needing to do something with the riot of emotion that was bursting to life inside of him. Everything in him felt so intensely soft that he ached with it. He pressed a hand to his mouth on instinct to try and stifle his sobs, trying and failing to blink back his tears.

“I—sorry,” you said quickly, immediately bringing his focus back to you even as his vision blurred. “I can take them out if you don’t want them there,” you murmured, already reaching for your stylus as though to efface them from the drawing.

“No, no, please don’t,” he entreated, the words jumping from his mouth as panic raced through him. You stopped your motion to reach for the stylus halfway, but your features were etched with confusion. Armitage was consumed with frustration at himself. Kriff, why couldn’t he just say the things that he meant? Now you thought he didn’t like what you had done when it was one of the sweetest things he had ever heard in his life. He pressed the heels of his hands to his closed eyes, partially trying to rub away the tears that had leaked onto his cheeks and partially willing himself to try to articulate the things he was feeling.

He dropped his hands away from his face then, committing to his course of action. He maneuvered the table aside so that he could sit on the side of your bed. You watched his actions, your eyes still widened slightly with confusion. Looking at you again, being so close to you, Armitage understood he was very much at risk of crying again. Stars, he was so in love with you.

Slowly, he lifted his still-shaking hands to cradle your cheeks. You leaned into his touch instantly, a small smile growing on your face. He repeated the words he wanted to say a few times in his head before taking a steadying breath and attempting to utter them aloud.

“Your drawing is perfect,” he told you at last. He couldn’t claim to know much about art, but he knew it was the most beautiful artwork he had ever seen. All of the paintings in the Dentelles’ gallery would only add to a fraction of what your drawing was worth to him. “And what you said about the ships, and about us…” He drew in a shuddering breath as the beginnings of tears pricked at his eyes again. “Was so thoughtful and I’m so… I’m so touched.” The word was a paltry one for what he truly wished to convey, but at least it was something.

Maybe you could hear the emotion trembling behind his words, because the expression on your face was all softness as you reached up to cup one of your hands around his where it was still pressed to your cheek. 

“You can have it, if you want,” you offered. A shy smile crept onto your face then. “I made it for you anyway,” you whispered. Armitage’s chest seized with delight at your words. You had made it for him.

“Thank you.” Again, the phrase was insufficient to convey the full depth of his feelings on the matter, but he hoped you understood what he meant nonetheless. 

As your expression brightened even further, Armitage sensed that you were beginning to realize that his reactions to your drawing were not a result of him disliking any part of it, but rather from the sudden emotion it ignited in him that he struggled to properly process and express. He allowed himself to relax slightly in relief.

“Will you sign it for me?” he asked then, reluctantly letting his hands fall away from your face as he shifted to angle the table back towards you. “I understand that it’s customary for artists to sign their works.” Your answering smile was filled with sunlight as you grasped the stylus and signed your name with a flourish in the bottom corner. 

“Now I believe you have work to do,” you informed him, a light teasing in your voice as you ensured he kept to your agreement. However, he could tell from the soft expression on your features that you wished you could spend more time with him.

“Right you are, Captain,” he acknowledged with a little duck of his head, his chest filling with warmth at the thought that you wanted to keep spending time together. He collected your drawing, already knowing exactly where he would put it. He could easily clear out the few things he had in the top central drawer of the desk in his main office. He could keep the treasured piece there, away from prying eyes, but where he could look at it whenever he wished – which would likely be frequently.

“Armitage,” you said as he was making to return to the main room. He turned to you instantly. “Can I see your designs again? The ones from last cycle?”

“Certainly,” he agreed immediately. He wasn’t certain why you would want to look at them again, but the very thought that you did was sending sparks of excitement racing through him. 

He walked briskly to the desk, placing your drawing on top as a reminder to take it with him when he left next cycle. He pulled open the drawer with his designs and withdrew the papers before returning to your room and placing them on the table next to you. You responded with a beaming smile.

“Can I get you anything else?” he asked, scanning the area to make sure everything you might need was within your reach. You looked around as well, seemingly searching for something in particular. 

“My puzzle box?” You voice lifted into a question as you glanced around again and couldn’t locate it. Armitage’s eyes flicked quickly around the space. You had had it when he left for his duties, so it couldn’t have gone that far. Then he saw it tucked away behind your empty nutritive beverage bottles, which reminded him that he should clear those out of your way too. It must have gotten moved when he had arranged the papers on the table earlier. 

He drew it out from behind the bottles, and you reacted with a little sigh of relief, holding out your hands for it. A shot of glowing warmth passed through him at your clear excitement. Then he recalled your reaction to first receiving the box and realized how closely it mirrored his own to seeing your drawing and hearing you talk about it. He couldn’t quite articulate what that idea meant, even to himself, but he knew it caused that same thought from last cycle to pass through him again: everything he felt for you, you felt for him as well. 

He felt a little unsteady then, trying to hide how his breath was suddenly stuttering in his chest as he eased the puzzle box into your waiting hands. You took it carefully, gracing him with a warm smile that wasn’t helping him to regulate his breathing. Barely stopping to think about his next movement, he leaned in and placed an adoring kiss on your temple. You sighed happily against the gentle press of his lips and he had to rest a hand lightly against the table as he pulled away, making sure he didn’t stagger.

“Good luck with your work!” You echoed your words from before, still smiling softly. Again, all he could muster for a response was a little duck of his head as he retreated back to the desk to begin his work.

When your lights dimmed, he stood immediately to ready your late cycle medications and spend as many more minutes with you as he could before the sedative effects of your painkillers kicked in. He reentered your room to find you clearly expecting him, smiling excitedly. The expression tugged a smile from his own lips as he came to sit on the edge of your bed once more. You held the puzzle box out for his inspection.

“I completed it!” you announced. Your joy was absolutely infectious. Armitage could feel his smile widen as he took the box and found that, indeed, you had gotten the metal ball all the way to the end of the track.

“Incredible work,” he congratulated you, and you beamed at his praise.

“Will you design me another one?” you asked eagerly. “Only if you have time of course,” you added quickly. Armitage’s heart was threatening to fly from his chest at the genuine excitement in your voice. Kriff, he would design you a thousand more if you wanted them.

“Happily,” he assured you. “But I’m afraid you’re not quite done with this one yet.” He tried his best to infuse a light teasing into his voice, a tone that was still somewhat unfamiliar to him. You tilted your head in an expression that he always adored, your face folded with confusion.

“But I got it to the other end,” you told him. “And I promise I didn’t cheat.”

“No, I know you didn’t,” he responded. “But…” His voice trailed off as his fingers found the lever to pop the drawer open and reveal the ball within. Then in one deft movement, he turned the drawer over and clicked it back closed, flipping the whole box as he did so. Your mouth popped open as you stared at the box for a long moment before taking it back from him, the brush of your fingers so warm and welcome against his. You were still looking at the box, and Armitage was about to explain what he had done, but you beat him to it.

“There’s a second, secret track that goes back the opposite way.” You flicked your eyes up to his, a mixture of disbelief and amusement in your gaze. He nodded in confirmation. You shook your head slightly.

“Un-kriffing-believable,” you murmured. “Stars, Armitage you’re so kriffing smart.”

Armitage suddenly needed to brace one of his hands against the mattress as heat rose into his cheeks and he started to feel a bit breathless. He swallowed and tried to recover himself enough to speak.

“So are you,” he insisted, “you figured the first track out incredibly quickly.” He had not made the puzzle particularly easy, and although he knew you were intelligent, you had still solved it even faster than he had predicted. A shy smile crept onto your face at his words.

“I’ll have to see if I can break my record with the second track,” you joked, already giving the box a little experimental tilt. “Is it easier or harder than the first one?”

“About the same.” 

You let out a thoughtful hum at his response, apprising the box one more time before setting it back on the table. Armitage rose to collect your medications.

“Are you coming to bed soon?” you asked when he had turned around to hand you the meds and some water. A list of the tasks he should probably complete was assembling itself in his head until it was blown apart by the hopeful look in your eyes. There wasn’t anything that was actually that vital to complete before next cycle, it was mostly just his usual habit of working ahead.

“Yes, I just need to wrap up a couple of things,” he assured you softly. Your answering look of absolute delight sent a humming warmth throughout his whole body.

“I’ll probably be out in a few minutes thanks to the meds,” you joked as you swallowed the last capsule, “so I’ll tell you to sleep well now.” Your face folded into a soft smile. His breath was uneven as it left his mouth.

“I hope you sleep well too,” he responded, only able to make the words come out as a whisper.

“I always sleep well when you’re here,” you murmured. 

Almost everything in Armitage was rendered momentarily nonfunctional. Before he could even think, his lips were pressed softly to yours and you let out the tiniest exclamation of surprise before melting easily into him, a little contented sigh easing its way from your mouth. It had never occurred to Armitage that he would ever be able to share this kind of domestic intimacy with anyone. He was used to sleepless rest periods where his most faithful companions were his datapad and a cup of caf, not to wishing someone peaceful sleep and sealing that wish with a kiss. The blissful reality of it was so foreign to everything that he had ever expected for himself, but also so utterly and completely beloved that it left him shaking slightly as he eventually pulled away from the gentle, tender kiss. Your smile was almost unimaginably soft as he stepped back slightly. 

“Now go finish your work,” you urged him after a moment, “so you can come to bed.”

He complied happily after pressing one more soft kiss to your forehead that elicited an irresistible, sleepy smile from you. He wrapped up his tasks as quickly as he could manage, taking one more adoring look at your drawing before positioning it so that he would be sure to remember it when he left for his duties next cycle.

As you had predicted, you were already sleeping peacefully when he slid beneath the covers beside you, a privilege that still ignited a warm hum within him that was so intense he thought sometimes he must be glowing with it. Trying to match his breathing to yours as he often did, he was able to coax himself to sleep. He dreamed of visiting a planet he had never seen, but you were there with him, hand happily clasped in his as he walked beneath giant trees with you, animals chattering in the branches above and the scent of ripe fruit all around.

[vividiana]

Questions from Fanfic/Author Ask Game!!

5, 9, 13, 15, 23, 27, and 30!!!

thank you so much Emma, I love to yap about my writing 😭❤️ (the questions are from this post if anyone would like to participate!)

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic? there is a bunch, from perfumery basics to knife-throwing techniques, but the most recent one was how to eat escargot and also why people smell wine corks before drinking 😅 (this was for a chapter of my post-canon fic where Eve and Astarion go to a very fancy restaurant)

9. How did you get into writing fanfiction? 'twas November of 2023. I was towards the end of my redeemed Durge playthrough, I got to the finale of Durge's personal quest, and I just thought that the dialogue with the companions afterwards (especially romanced Astarion) was kind of lackluster/anticlimactic. so I had an idea for a scene that took place when they got back to the Elfsong Tavern that night, and how Astarion finally broke and let down the facade and went on this rambling monologue for how utterly scared he was for Durge that night and how it all shook him up. that has become the first chapter of my first ever fic "the blood on my hands (scares me to death.)" I just wanted to give my Durge some more closure, and then I became obsessed with her and Astarion’s dynamic. and now here we are, 14 months and 100k words later, and I have a whole series written about them ❤️

13. Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing? not really. I went to a liberal arts school in the US, so I was able to take a bunch of different classes outside my major (sociology,) and I ended up taking two creative writing courses: an intro class and then a class on creative non-fiction. I also worked as a writing tutor for two years during college and helped people with their writing, but that was mostly essays and research papers. that’s the extent of my "official" writing experience.

15. Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction? oh yes, I’m very vocal about it 😅 I’ve had a couple friends read my fics. also, my good friend beta reads everything and helps me brainstorm the stories. she has never played the game, but she’s an avid reader of fantasy romance books, so she is super on board. she’s the reason I decided to post my fics in the first place and she’s kept me going through high and lows (love you, Connie!)

also, my parents know about it 😅 I shared parts of my fics with them, but despite their interest, they couldn’t get through it because of the language barrier (I’m Polish.) they’re both very supportive, though, and keep asking me how it’s going. my dad says I should publish it and make some money off of it and I’ve tried to explain to him that that’s not how it works, but he is very insistent 😂

23. What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? I would love to write a fic from Lae'zel's pov. after Astarion she’s my favorite bg3 character. but I feel like before I do that, I should play the game as her, just to get more insight on her character. I have no idea when that will happen because after 700 hours I can’t stand to start act 1 yet again. but it will happen one day!! 27. Are any of your stories inspired by personal experience? I’ve talked a bit about this in some previous asks, but basically a lot of what inspires my fluffy comfort post-canon fic are my past experiences in relationships—especially the disappointments and unmet needs and in general how I wish things had gone differently ❤️ I'm also a very anxious and overthinking person and I've poured a lot of that into Eve's character. 30. Have you noticed your style change over time? I have only been writing fic for a year or so, but when I compare my first fic to what I’m writing now, I feel like I have more of a grasp on Eve and Astarion’s voices and the dialogue comes to me more naturally. I also feel like I write shorter and more dynamic paragraphs and the writing is overall wittier and more dialogue-focused, though that might just be the change in subject—I mostly write post-canon fluff now and I started with act 3 angst, so as we have moved away from The Horrors, the tone shifted along with the story.

[talshiargirlfriend]

This instalment of spy-ay-ay-ay ✨vibes✨ for @candiedsumire snowballed on me, so let me sell you on it real quick: family banter, chocolate, an impassioned speech, Vulcan jokes, only one bed, and a dose of mutual pining. 2.8K words to use 2 lines. Can you pick them out?

Thank you @deadheaddaisy for talking me off the ledge 🥰🥰🥰

also tagging @iamstartraveller776 for a reason which will be clear about 370-some words in 😅

Follows immediately from the previous post here

—

Maybe he had been overthinking because things certainly started off well enough. His parents met them on the walkway in front of the house with smiles. 

Trip stepped up to make introductions. “T’Pol, I’d like you to meet my parents Elaine Meyer and James Tucker. Mom, Dad, this is T’Pol.”

He had no time to second guess whether he should have included her rank or called her his girlfriend as immediately his parents each raised a hand in a pair of very passable Vulcan salutes. 

“Peace and long life,” Elaine said in choppy Vulcan while her husband stood beside her proudly.

“Live long and prosper,” T’Pol responded in kind. 

After a brief pause, Elaine continued in English, “Sorry, I don’t know much more than that. Welcome to our home, T’Pol. We’re very pleased to meet you.” 

T’Pol gracefully moved her hand down to shake first Trip’s mother’s hand and then his father’s. 

“Thank you for your hospitality. It is agreeable to meet you, Ms Meyer and Mr Tucker.” 

“Please, call me Elaine,” his mother spoke at the same time his father insisted, “It’s Jimmy, please!”

“Oh, you’re gonna have to work for that one, Dad. It took me months to get her to call me Trip.” 

His parents exchanged an amused glance and led the way into the house.

Trip decided to press his luck a little, “and we were on kissing terms by then, right sweetheart?” She didn’t roll her eyes, but it really looked like she wanted to and that was good enough for him. 

As they followed his parents through the front door she paused and gave him a quizzical look. 

“What?”

“Perhaps I have misapprehended the nature of your nickname,” she said in a hushed tone. “Your father is not named Charles?”

“Oh.” Trip had a brief flash of panic. If it hadn’t occurred to him to tell her this, what if he’d forgotten something important?

“Trip?” she prompted. 

“Nah, you’ve got it right. I’m the third Charles Tucker, but I’m named after my grandad and my uncle.”

Jimmy overheard that and added, “Our oldest son is named Bert after Lainey’s dad, but then my brother Charlie and his wife Maggie had three daughters in four years and decided they were done having kids—”

“My cousins Daisy, Aster, and Violet - you’ll meet them tomorrow,” Trip interjected. 

“So when this fella came along after that we decided he should carry on the family name.”

T’Pol looked between the two men. “I see.”

“That’s her ‘humans are strange and illogical’ face. I see that one a lot,” Trip joked. 

“Maybe that’s because you personally are strange and illogical, son,” his mama chimed in. 

Jimmy chuckled, and T’Pol’s lips twitched. 

“Ha. Ha. Isn’t it nice to be home,” Trip groused. 

Ignoring his put-upon tone, Elaine patted his cheek. “It’s real good to have you home, baby. Why don’t you two go put your things away and get settled, and then we’ll have dinner.” 

Jimmy led them upstairs. “You two are in here,” he said, pushing a bedroom door open.

And that’s when they saw the one large bed filling the space. They’d be able to walk around it fine, but his plan of sleeping on the floor was right out. 

“Oh wow, new bed,” Trip said weakly. 

His dad winked - actually freaking winked - at him and said, “With you kids getting older and starting to bring home spouses and kids, we thought this room needed an upgrade. I’ll see you two downstairs for dinner.” 

Once he had departed, Trip eyed T’Pol warily. “Looks like we’ll be sharing a bed.” 

She responded with typical Vulcan pragmatism. “Then there will be no reason for you to suffer back pain. Which side would you prefer?” 

He stared at her for a second before placing his bag down to claim his side. She was either completely unaffected by the thought of sharing a bed with him or she was enjoying his discomfort. Maybe both. 

After a moment T’Pol spoke without looking up from the personal items she was unpacking. “I was concerned my being Vulcan would cause you some difficulty with your family. I am pleased that doesn’t seem to be the case.” 

“Nah, I mean it’s definitely unusual, but they’ve always been pretty supportive of me finding my own way in the world. And what’s not to like about you? Plus Mom has Vulcan colleagues - friends, even, at the university. Hell, it sounded like Dad was on board before I even called. If anything, I’m more worried someone’ll make an embarrassing sex joke or ask when we’re getting married… but you’re trained to handle ‘offensive situations’ and I grew up with it.” He smirked. 

“I do not think my family would be as welcoming,” she said quietly. She sounded almost sad. 

“Well, it takes some people a little longer to come around. Our project and the joint missions to follow could really help with that. Are you close to your family?”

“Not particularly. My mother is often concerned about my erratic behavior,” T’Pol said drily. 

Trip looked at her suspiciously. “You’re not joking?”

She shook her head slightly in the negative.

“You’re a loose cannon? A Vulcan black sheep? My girl’s a rebel.” He looked at her salaciously, “T’Pol, that’s kinda hot.” 

She gave him a long-suffering look, but there was no longer a trace of sadness on her face as she followed him to dinner. 

Shortly after they all sat down at the table a blonde tornado blew in. “Sorry I’m late! Hi Mama! Daddy, is that the spicy pasta? It smells delicious! Oh, Trip! I’m so glad you made it!” 

She paused then and took a breath. 

“You must be T’Pol,” she continued in a much more dignified manner. “I’m Elizabeth Tucker, and I’m very pleased to meet you.” 

“It is agreeable to meet you, Ms Tucker.” 

Elizabeth’s ponytail swung wildly as she shook her head, “No, don’t get up on my account! I’m just gonna go wash up and I’ll be right back!”

“So that’s Lizzie,” Trip said into the silence that followed. 

“Takes after her mama,” Jimmy grinned. 

“And her brother,” T’Pol added almost inaudibly. 

Elaine and Trip shared a mock offended look and then she shrugged. “All my babies are brilliant and beautiful. I’m happy to take the credit.” 

Elizabeth returned, and dinner continued. They chatted about Lizzie’s new job, progress on the technology integration project, the fact that Trip’s mom and T’Pol’s mom worked in anthropology and cultural history respectively - small universe! - and Captain Jefferies’s excellent recovery among other topics. Trip found himself relaxing and enjoying himself. 

“T’Pol, I’m not sure how to ask this and I promise I intend no offense…” Elaine began.

Trip felt his stomach clench. So much for relaxing.

“You seem more … personable, I suppose, than most of my Vulcan colleagues. That could be personal preference or generational difference, and I don’t mean to imply that you’ve been too casual! Or that they’re too formal! I just … I don’t want you to feel like you have to try too hard with us. We want you to be comfortable here.” 

“There is no offense where none is taken. As Trip’s chosen partner, I do wish to make a favourable impression on you, and I appreciate your efforts to ensure my comfort,” T’Pol replied. “However, I believe what you have noticed is the result of my cultural training prior to joining the technology integration project. Captain Stenn impressed upon our team the logic of observing and adapting to certain human cultural norms, as he believed this would facilitate cooperation and yield more productive results.”

“Your cultural sensitivity training must’ve been a lot more interesting than ours. We pretty much got taught the ta’al and reminded not to talk with our mouths full,” Trip chuckled. 

“I don’t know, T’Pol,” Jimmy said with a twinkle in his eye. “Maybe you’re just a charmer. The handshake thing…?”

“Slick, right?” Trip exclaimed. “Like a choreographed dance move. I knew I was in trouble the minute I met her and she pulled that on me.” 

“Well, she’s certainly charmed Trip,” Lizzie added as she looked between her brother and his apparent partner in amusement. 

“Hey, I’ve charmed her, too,” Trip defended himself.

All eyes swivelled to T’Pol, who somewhat reluctantly confirmed, “He has made a positive impression.”

Trip shot her a cheeky grin, “and you think I’m funny, too.”

“I will allow you to persist in that belief because it makes you happy.”

“All right, fine,” Trip said over the laughter of his family. “If I’m gonna be mocked by all and sundry, I should at least get some dessert to console me.”

He looked at his mother hopefully, “Did I hear you mention cheesecake?”

“That’s for tomorrow, but I did make brownies — egg and dairy free.”

Lizzie clasped her hands together in delight and leaned toward T’Pol, “Mama only bakes for special occasions. Her brownies are so good!”

Trip stood up to clear away the dinner dishes and his mother followed suit.  T’Pol moved to join them, but he waved her off with a smile, “I’ve got it. I’ll see what tea they’ve got since you’re not big on coffee.”  

Once dessert was finished, T’Pol excused herself for evening meditation. 

A few minutes later Trip gestured vaguely, “I’m just gonna go check on T’Pol and see if she needs anything. Be right back.” 

His parents exchanged a knowing look. 

“Goodnight, son,” his dad called to his retreating back. 

Trip knocked on the bedroom door so he wouldn’t startle T’Pol. He’d seen how fast she could react to a threat and sneaking up on her was likely to get him pinned down with her arm against his throat and … Whoa, easy there.  He shook his head to clear it. 

“Come in.”

She sat on the end of the bed in her snug t-shirt and loose pants pajamas looking just slightly … spacey. 

“Hey, I don’t want to interrupt your quiet time. Just wanted to make sure you're ok.”

“I’m fine,” she answered too quickly. 

He narrowed his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Chocolate has a … mildly intoxicating effect on Vulcan physiology,” she answered grudgingly. 

Well, that was news to Trip! He grinned, “So you’re tipsy?”

She glared. “Slightly. I have been trained to act while under the influence of a variety of intoxicants and will continue to perform any necessary duties that may arise,” she assured him. 

She’d retreated into formality and couldn’t seem to settle on a focal point when looking at his face, so yeah, she was definitely a little drunk. 

“Of course. Never doubted you… you look a little wobbly though.”

“Your sister was very insistent that I share a second slice with her. I did not believe it would cause any difficulties. However, the effect was slightly more potent than I anticipated.” T’Pol sounded almost apologetic.

Trip winced, “Yeah, uh… Mom told me she accidentally added the cocoa twice and was really relieved the brownies still tasted all right.”

T’Pol tilted her head adorably. “Then it appears my initial judgment was sound. I simply failed to anticipate the… human element. I will not repeat that error.” 

“So, is there anything I can do? You need water or a cup of tea? Want me to get out of your hair? I can go sleep on the couch and say I was snoring—“

“No! That will not be necessary.”

“Ok, then what do you need?”

She looked so reluctant to answer it tugged at his heart. 

He sat down beside her. “Come on, T’Pol. You’ve done so much for me. Tell me how I can help you.”

“I have simply done my duty to the best of my abilities,” she deflected softly. 

He snorted. “Duty is getting the sensor and engine upgrades going. Watching my back is duty. Calming me down when Matt was rushed to the hospital? Watching silly movies with me? Coming here with me and charming the pants off my folks? Honey, we’re way past duty. Maybe you think you’re just really good at your job and maintaining cover - and you are - but you’re also … you’re really good at being my best friend. We’re in this together. And you and me? We make a hell of a team. So whatever you need right now, I’ve got you. Okay?”

She looked at him, emotion pooling in her dark expressive eyes until she blinked it away. Her brow creased like she was considering something. 

“Since we are in no immediate danger, the most sensible course of action would be to rest and allow my body to metabolise the toxins naturally.”

He nodded, and she continued, “Normally I would meditate to calm my mind before sleep, but the effects are making it difficult to achieve the desired state of mind. However, I believe listening to a familiar voice could provide a grounding effect.”

It took him a moment to hear the request in her words. “So, you want me to stay here and talk to you?” he checked. 

“If it is not an inconvenience.” 

“It’s not. But even if it was, I would gladly be inconvenienced if it made things easier for you.” A little embarrassed by his own vehemence, he stood abruptly. “Just gonna change and brush my teeth.”

When he returned she was sitting exactly as he’d left her, listing slightly to one side. 

“You sure you’re gonna be able to sleep next to a smelly human?” he teased. 

She made a show of sniffing the air in jest. Something indecipherable passed across her face. It wasn’t disgust, but whatever it was disappeared in a blink as she leaned back, gripping the bedcover tightly. 

“Your scent is not offensive to me, Trip.” 

Before he could work out how to respond to that, she’d moved up the bed and curled up on her side, closing her eyes. 

Trip followed suit and laid on his back with his hands tucked behind his head. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, “So is hitting the chocolate and shacking up with boys the kind of erratic behaviour your mom worries about?” 

T’Pol frowned slightly. “When word of our pairing reached Vulcan, she told me to expect a formal communique regarding the dissolution of my betrothal. She was not pleased.”

Trip was stunned. He really didn’t like the idea of causing problems for her. Or the idea of her having a fiancé, for that matter. 

“You’re engaged? he spluttered as he turned to face her fully. “Is this- am I causing you trouble?” 

She waved a hand in dismissal without even opening her eyes. “It is a formality. I was issued an ultimatum regarding my betrothal prior to accepting assignment on Earth.  I preferred a position on the integration team over marriage to Koss. Activation of my secondary assignment - our situation - simply makes me more undesirable. Thus the ‘greetings t’sai’ letter.”

His jaw dropped. “Was that a ‘Dear John’ joke?” he asked incredulously. 

She looked pleased with herself. 

“Well, I’m glad you think it’s funny! Geez, T’Pol. I thought I’d ruined your whole life!”

She didn’t quite snort. “Hardly.” After a moment she added, “I may be divulging too much information in my inebriated state.” 

“Not from my perspective, and you know I’ll keep your secrets, but we can talk about something else.” 

Trip settled onto his back again and rambled on with occasional replies from T’Pol. He talked about how glad he was to have met her, his opinions about the upcoming Vulcan-Starfleet mission, how he would improve the sensor installation prior to testing, and a rundown of the various family members she might meet at Lizzie’s graduation party the following day.  

After a quiet minute he thought she’d fallen asleep until she suddenly whispered his name rather intently. 

For a horrible second he thought she was going to tell him she needed to vomit. He turned on his side to face her. “Yeah?”

“You have a very interesting face,” she told him, staring at said face for a moment and raising her hand in his direction slightly before tucking it under her pillow and closing her eyes again. 

“Okaaaay,” he laughed. “Thanks, I guess?”

“I don’t think I’d get tired of looking at it,” she mumbled sleepily. 

By the time he could process the thought what does that mean? he realised she was actually asleep this time. 

He looked at her peaceful features, grateful she felt safe enough to let her guard down with him. After a moment he became aware he might be moving past friendly affection toward something like longing and turned away before he could reach creepy staring territory. 

He let the steady sound of her breathing behind him soothe him until he hit on another realisation: he’d been joking around with his dad before, but he might really be in trouble here. 

[kamiversee]

Kami, that first chapter was absolutely everything i could have wanted and more from an AU like this 🥹 the attention to detail in every aspect in order to set the scene was incredible! there was so much proper dating and the world building right off the bat, and especially when it came to the dialogue. you did a great job in using periodical vocabulary in a way that doesn’t sacrifice comprehension and still fits the tone of the trope!! i absolutely loooove period pieces and royal AU’s, so i’m geeking out about the fact that you’re making one for jjk that’s this inclusive 🫶

the reader has so much personality and relatability, it was so easy to immerse myself in this first chapter!! the way that we immediately start with the thirsting for Yaga (REAL. SO REAL. SOOOO FUCKING REAL I WANT THAT MAN SO BADLY.) was hilarious in its subtlety. the foreshadowing with Utahime’s silent attraction (and awakening?) for the reader was so cute and fun. also, the fact that our personal knight is Yuki? BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GAWDDDDD

also, the way i was absolutely floored during Naoya’s segment?? UGH. that man would be perfect if he didn’t speak. he’s too hot for his own good. i was definitely not expecting him to agree to the harem, and i was definitely not expecting us to agree to the marriage. i definitely thought we were going to deny the marriage and somehow seduce and build a harem of powerful allies to make preparations for war, but this route definitely makes more sense 😭😭 this is why you write and i don’t LMFAO

i’m so excited to see the next few chapters!! i can’t wait to see what details in the first chapter will eventually make their way into the plot. i’m already overthinking everything. i’m side-eyeing that necklace hard as fuck. it definitely could have just been a detail necessary for making the characters ogle at our tits, but let me be delusional about this.

also, “Prince S-“? PRINCE SATORU? FUCK, PLEEEEAAASE I NEED HIMMMMMM I NEED HIM SO BAD. i can’t wait to see how the plot will go in terms of involving all(?) of the nations you mentioned. especially that small but mighty Middom (wonderful naming, btw. didn’t feel unnatural or cringe, a common issue most period-fics have when it comes to world building). bravo, kami!! i’m so excited to see you back and so passionate over a new series!! us stressing Hiromi out is so hilarious and perfect. i can’t wait to put that big nose to use. UGH.

TFL Spring was iconic. i’m so ready for COS Winter(?) I hope you’re ready for my grueling analyses again 🥹

ALSO, SHOUTOUT TO MY BOY INO. YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP YET BUT YOU MADE IT TO THE PAIRING LIST. WE’RE SO BACK.

i need ino so fucking bad i could explode into a cloud of red mist rn i’m so excited for his chapter(s? hopeful)

-☃️

I’m so calm rn guys.

So uh, usual yappatron below..!

First off, HEYYY ☃️NONNIEE!! You were missed ml!

I’m elated to hear how well received that first chapter was. Soso happy I did this royal AU some justice because I definately had my worries! 😅 Honestly, I was worried some parts would feel cringe or too overdramatic but I’m glad to hear it wasn’t!!

This reader actually felt so refreshing to write. tfl!reader was always fighting for herself given the situation she was put in & mln!reader puts herself into certain situations that make life difficult so where CoS is concerned, I felt like a powerful, confident, and (mostly) collected reader was best! I tried not to lean too much into the fact that she’s just a princess & gave her as much personality as I could. 🥰

How you catch the foreshadowing so quickly, I’ll never know. CAN I GET TO THE THIRD CHAPTER AT LEAST BEFORE YOU CLOCK IT, GAH LEEE. (Im not complaining) 😭

There will be a not-so-subtle ongoing theme of feminism & its importance given the time period this all takes place in (I don’t have any specifics for it but wtv) so I felt it only natural to make Yuki the reader’s knight. (I need her to top me)

Naoya & the reader’s segment gave me mild flashbacks of Gojo & the reader in tfl. I love the bickering, the tension that lies beneath it all, the hate & vexation, UGHHHH. & the reader’s plan will be further explained in the next chapter so, any questions or confusion on it WILL be answered! 😚

PRINCE SATORU INDEEEDDDD UGGHHHHHH. He’s coming soon guys (literally, maybe?), y’all aren’t ready.

Idk if this helps but the plot kinda follows this adventuristic kinda theme..? I’d elaborate but uh.. spoilers. 💀

MIDDOM ACTUALLY HAS A FUNNY STORY TO IT TOO! So, I imagine the continent of this whole au being almost like a circle (?). There are five nations, the main four being the North, South, East, and West BUT, then like smack dab in the middle is this small place they call Middom! (Since it’s yk.. in the middle.. so I literally just did: kingdom + middle = middom)

& yes, hiromi will find himself stressed……. Pretty much all throughout the fic. 😭 I felt it was fitting for his character.

IM (clearly) BEYOND READY FOR YOUR EVERY ANALYSIS!! I literally had to take several breathers before responding to this bc it’s literally the first chapter & ur already back at it. Im. SO calm rn, I swear.

THE INO MENTION PLSSS, YOU ARE SURVIVING OFF OF LITERAL CRUMBS RN. 😭😭 I fear for the chapter he’s officially introduced or even mentioned.

With tht being saidd… ty for reading my yappathon. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

& Thank you sm for reading! 💗

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi,

I think my prior ask maybe got lost in the shuffle. I know you’ve been super busy so I understand. Hopefully this one makes it through 🤞🏼

Hmmmm so I guess Paige is taking her frustrations out on Angie because she feels like she could potentially be taking her spot on the team after her 1yr deal is up? Poor Angie. Why do I feel like the micro aggressions might not be over with? Curious to see what Azzi’s reaction will be to the news.

I love menace Tessa and Jana. Figured someone else was bound to catch on, those 2 couldn’t hide their heart eyes even if they wanted to. Jana saying “won’t somebody please think about the complications” made me laugh really good. I see what you did there lol.

Stephie and Paige are becoming my new favorite duo, I love their relationship so much. Stephie not wanting Paige to cook is so real. I feel like Paige’s cooking style would just be door dash. I can’t picture that woman cooking anything 😂 I loved the call back of how much Paige hates vegetables and anything healthy calling them “nasty green things”. I think about that episode all the time. It’s always surprising how terrible the diets of elite athletes are. Paige probably would just eat In N Out and Noodles and Company for every meal if she could. Food is just another example of how much of a ying n yang relationship Paige and Azzi have. Princess eats all this really tasty healthy food, and Paige would rather shovel Chick-fil-A down her throat while she runs around 😅

Ohhhhh Stephie inherited the petty gene from Azzi I see 😃 And she’s a master manipulator? Using Clemence was a stroke of evil genius really. I love jealous Azzi! Not Claudia calling out her mom 😂 Stephie using Claudia’s mom to make her point? Oh this kid is too smart for her own good.

Hmmmm so the conversation with Drew in the car, how long has Azzi been feeling doubt? Really curious to finally find out what happened with the break up, because Drew’s reaction to seeing Azzi again and seeing his sister get back with her, just holds a lot of bitterness. More so than what seems reasonable for the info we have received so far. Like obviously he doesn’t understand Azzi’s reasoning for the break up. Did Paige just not share the real reason? Was Azzi’s reason to Paige not fully clear? It doesn’t feel like he believes that Azzi did whatever she could to not hurt his sister and as a byproduct not hurt himself. Just seems like there might be some misunderstanding that’s been festering for years. Obviously he’s hurt that Azzi wasn’t around in his life anymore and that’s definitely part of it. I’m just waiting for the full curtain to be pulled back I guess you could say.

Can’t wait to be a fly on the wall for that super awkward dinner next chapter 😅

__📚

Hi lovie,

I fear it either didn't get through or it got buried under everything, sorry love <3

Yep! Trust her to never deal with her frustrations the right way lol.

They're so darn obvious, that it was only a matter of time before someone picked it up and really Jana needed someone else to commiserate with her.

I absolutely love writing Stephie and Paige so I love that y'all love them too! Paige's cooking style beyond doordash is making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches lmao but yeah she definitely drives Azzi a little insane when instead of helping get Stephie to eat her greens, she's out there gagging at them.

Evil genius Stephie fr fr

Azzi I think has always been a bit of an overthinker and especially when it comes to her relationship with Paige and it all sort of reaches a cumulative breaking point eventually. Drew doesn't know a lot about the breakup because it's something Paige never really wanted to talk about. But there's really a lot of things with Azzi that has Drew upset down to the fact that if she'd stayed, Paige would never have to have gone through her heartbreak, even if she wasn't really in love with her, with Olivia either. And ofc he feels like Azzi abandoned him too. But yeah a lot of things to be unpacked.

[runninriot]

20 Questions For Writers

i'm a little late because i took a break while on vacation but THANK YOU for the tag @ataliagold and @sidekick-hero 🖤

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

52

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

468,074 (written in 16 months, which is a personal achievement i'm actually quite proud of)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Steddie only for now because these boys still have me in a tight grip i can't get out of

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

thought i'd only look at the stats for the ones i wrote this year out of interest

Liberate Me

Worship Me

Sweet Thing

Tomorrow

You're A God (Be My Sinner)

5. Do you respond to comments?

always!! i appreciate everyone who's taking the time to comment on one of my fics so much. love these little interactions

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

it's 'happy endings always' in my house but the ending of Only Love could maybe count as angsty?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

it's hard to choose but Where The Sun Still Shines has one of my favourite happy endings

8. Do you get hate on fics?

people have always been very kind to me (thank you, people! 🖤)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes and any kind? since i started the The Best You Ever Tasted series i have tried not overthink it and not to limit myself anymore when it comes to writing smut and to just go for it. there's still more to explore 😏

10. Do you write crossovers?

apart from my first ever steddie fic Real Love Is Forever (ST×The Crow mash-up), i haven't written any crossovers yet

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i think/hope not?!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope. but i'd love it if that ever happened

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

no but i think it could be a fun experience although i'm not sure i'd want to burden anyone else with the chaos that is my writing process 😅

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie. don't know what it is exactly but i love them being in love and writing and reading about them makes me fucking happy

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Weight of the World. do i want to finish it? yes!!! will i ever? only the stars and moon know (it's been a year, man 😔)

16. What are your writing strengths?

people have said i'm good at writing dirty smut mixed with deep emotions which is a compliment i hold dear to my heart

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

ugh. plotting/outlining, just planning ahead in general. i always start my fics with a random sentence and just take it from there which has cost me some nerves in the past because i never know what i'll end up with

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

love when people do that. i think it can be a nice way for authors (like me) who aren't native english speakers to sprinkle bits and pieces of their own first language into their fics

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Steddie (any hand-written sins from my youth are well-hidden in old notebooks and will never see the light of day again)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

oh god, that one's hard because i love all my brain babies equally but

We Are The Lifeless Stars (Shining In The Dark) is the one that broke me most

Small Treasures To Keep is my favourite prompt inspired fic (kudos to all of those amazing people providing us with writing challenges and prompts, i love you guys!)

i absoluetely loved creating Vampire Steve's background story in Show Me What It's Like (To Live On The Other Side)

Unlovable is very special to me in many ways

and Monsoon and Harrsion was probably the silliest fic idea i ever had, inspired by Jemma who came up with the names. it was so fun to write and it still makes me laugh when i think of my google search history while writing that porn actors au 😆

that was fun!

feel free to ignore me if you've already done this or don't want to but i'd love to read your answers

@thisapplepielife @morningberriesao3 @steddieas-shegoes @thefreakandthehair @steddie-island 🖤

[lurkofyourlife]

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

i just know you’ll have a very thought out answer for this one.

🩷🩷🩷

Honestly I don’t xD but maybe I should??? I’m assuming this is a full genital and gender presentation swap and not just a biological sex markers or genitals-only change— but I may be overthinking x3

Knowing it’s from you, I now immediately would want to go subby male real quick (as if I would have much choice here; I am not a dominant persona and a change of genitals wouldn’t change that 😅), but the service top angle…

I mean I’d be such a whore tbh, cause it could never get traced back to me if it’s just for a day, so I would be the cutest fuckin nerd boy making whimper/moaning audios online— and out in the real world I would be complimenting girls in a very “I don’t actually want anything from this” kind of way. I would be the nicest boy because I would never see them again since it’s one day, and I’d want to be the type they’d compare every future interaction to, and it would only take focused concentration about doing it for 24 hours (realistically, like 8 hours of public time or less). So I could really just be That Nice Boy that brightens your day with no ulterior motive. Truly channeling sweet puppy energy as long as I can 🤞

If I had someone (*cough*) to play with… I mean god… unhinged feral service top energy. Fuck you til I’m overstimulated but still desperate to stay inside you energy. Touchy groping humping puppy, who gets rougher and rougher cause he can’t help it he just wants you so bad, stop squirming, just hold still so I can fuck you, I’m so sorry can you breathe? No this’ll just be a second, just hold still, I’m almost there- 😵‍💫

NSFW ask game, send me a number