#(...this is me overthinking in real time 😅)

[revelboo]

I absolutely love the Jazz x Reader, I have a feeling part 19 is smut? Also, when are the other autobots gonna find out about Jazz's little human friend?

Have a nice day/night! Love your blog🩵

It is smut 😅 and they will find out eventually 18+ Mass displaced mech 🌶️

Over It Now Pt 19

Jazz x Reader

• Absolutely not. Knows where that sentence was headed and he’s not going to let you second guess this. Deny him. Feels like he might just die if you do. But you toss your head back with a soft noise when his mouth brushes against you, teasing you with his glossa. Not giving you a chance to overthink this. And you whisper his name, voice shaky and almost pleading. Wanting him. Giving in.

• Hips bucking as his mouth moves against you, his hands catch you and pin you in place, holding you open so you can’t squirm away as his glossa slides against you and delves inside you. And he makes a low, rumbling growl that’s almost a purr as he strokes you with his lips and glossa until you’re trembling and breathing raggedly. “Jazz,” you whimper and his head lifts, leaving you teetering on the edge as he rests his chin on your stomach, visor bright.

• “What do you need, doll?” Cupping you with a hand as he rocks his hips against the floor to try and ease that ache, wanting to free his spike and claim you, but this is about you. Taking care of you. “Tell me.” Your hips lift slightly as he rubs a servo against you, he waits. Watches your face flush as you look down your body at him. “Say it.” Say you need him as much as needs you. Give him permission to claim you.

• “Your mouth, your hands. Anything,” you mumble in frustration and he chuckles. And drives a servo inside you. Eyes closing, you chase after your release, hips moving against his hand as he curls that servo inside you, stroking deep. “Jazz.” You groan when he stops again when you’re so close. Torturing you, dangling climax just out of your reach. When you lift your head and glare at him, he flashes you that crooked grin. Knowing exactly what he’s doing to you. But then he’s shifting over you and you catch a glimpse of his spike as he frees himself. Feel the head slide against you, then spear deep to stretch you.

• As much fun as teasing you is, this is so much better. “Primus, you’re tight, kitten.” Sinking into your wet heat, feeling how tight you are stretched around his spike. Taking all of him as he rocks his hips against you just to make you whimper. “Know how long I’ve wanted this?” He growls, shifting over you. How long you’ve haunted his recharge? Fantasizing about how you’d feel. The reality, though? You warm and soft under him, those little hands clinging to him as he moves against you? It blows the fantasies away. Knows he’s not going to last long as he thrusts against you, especially when you make those needy sounds for only him.

• Lips parting on a moan as his spike drives deep and he sets an urgent pace, you’re already so close from him mouth and servos, body wound tight as he ruts against you. His mouth brushes your temple, your cheek, his venting ragged as he makes a low growling moan. Shifts over you, hips pumping against you and you come apart with a cry. Thrusts growing more frantic, rougher as he drags it out, before he snarls and sheaths himself deep. And you feel him release inside you, servos tangling in your hair to force your head up and his mouth hungrily claims yours, devouring and almost overwhelming. When he finally breaks the kiss, his lips brush under your eye when he speaks. “You okay, doll?” And that uncertainty warms you as you press your own mouth to his jaw.

• Soft strokes of his lips against your closed eyelids, your temple, your cheek. Can’t get enough of you, the way you feel like you’re made to fit him, how you see right through him and don’t expect him to keep up the front. Like the real him under the lies even if he’s not really okay all the time. “More than okay,” you whisper with a little laugh and his mouth finds yours again. Entertaining the thought of just staying here. Disappearing and staying mass displaced with you. Forget the war and everyone who’s counting on him, so many needing him. Be happy. Heal. And knowing he can’t do that, that happiness isn’t meant for bots like him, but as long as you’ll allow him, he wants to steal as much of your time as he possibly can. Wants to imprint your smile so thoroughly in his spark that even if you leave him down the road, he can keep a part of you forever, because you’re going to ruin him. You already have.

Previous

Next

[natalchartnurtures]

So tell me Taylor, Who am I gonna take to be my ~Lover~?

Want a sneak peak into who YOU'RE gonna take to be your significant-long-term partner?

(pile 1 to 3- left to right)

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1:

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my Lover..

Let me say this. You're opening card is the ten of cups, right of the bat.. there's this beautiful love I feel between the two of you. Their presence in your life would either happen as a consequence of you resolving some of your deep subconscious beliefs that kept you limited in terms of love or.. some of you beautiful folks I feel your person will help prove your limiting beliefs around love wrong. This part of your relationship may feel a lil scary and intense but your love for them will end up helping you all the way through.

Oh wow.. I'm getting that you and your person will take on life together, almost with this feeling of being comrades. Especially during your more difficult and uncertain times, your relationship with them will only get stronger. Its giving Bestie energy ✨️ Don't we love that around here? Hehe

They really help you calm down if you're prone to anxiety and/or overthinking. Their energy has a really calming effect on you. Which is probably one of your favorite things about them 😊

I'm getting a strong message of this person being radically different from your previous partners. Maybe you are used to partners who are possessive, lack emotional intelligence and always gave you a reason to worry but I feel your person is a FAR cry from this kinda energy which will surprise you at first I'm ngl 😅 but once you get on board with the newness they bring, you'll have a beautiful relationship with them :')

"Equal give and take" I hear. Aw.

I feel like before you did the inner work with your subconscious mind, you attracted partners that weren't all that healthy but I see that as soon as you put away your wounds and old unhelpful beliefs that you might have picked up from childhood, that may have kept your energy stagnant, to rest they will show up into your life. You won't be able to miss it!

Side note: Ya'll reeeeeally remind me of Zendaya and Tom Holland. I kept having visions of them in my mind while I was channeling for your pile.. Isn't that something 👀

That was your reading, pile 1. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 2:

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

Ooh.. I feel your person being highly intelligent and just really smart overall. They seem quite deep to me.. their energy is direct and doesn't really play around. They definitely come off strong to you when you first meet them. They don't seem to enjoy small talk or socializing "just for fun" they seem to take their social life really seriously which is why they might keep to themselves mostly having a very TIGHT group they let themselves mingle with.

I have to say this.. your person has developed an incredible relationship with their mind. A quite healthy one after years of suffering mental agony they have figured out how to master their own mind and as a result they seem quite mature and come off quite stable. They're giving off a strong regal vibe, like, they have a lot of self respect and/or a lot of people seem to respect your person. Your person strikes me like the kind that not everybody necessarily likes but somebody who is respected and revered (in some cases) nonetheless. Wow. Strong vibes. They could be quite an intense person too ngl. They might like to dip their toes into psychology or simply put, the Scorpionic arts or.. just be interested in the occult from time to time 👀

They may not believe in love before they meet you tbh.

They like to believe in what they have evidence for and seems like before meeting you they simply hadn't find evidence of real love.. aw, that's low-key so cute!

Your person comes off quite practical and earthy. They may move in a very strategic way, keeping their plans (and their life in general) mostly to themselves.. which is giving PRIVATE energy. They seem hella private 👀 haha

So you know they're gonna keep your relationship to themselves like it's a scared, precious thing that they gotta safeguard :')

Meeting you will POSITIVELY flip their world upside down. If there's one thing they don't understand, its love and romance. When you walk into their life, being your cute ass self, they won't know what to do with themselves and despite them being successful in their lives prior to meeting you, they'd feel lost with you. You make them feel.. dumb haha. Or they perceive it that way. You might think it to be ridiculously cute lmao.

They're definitely gonna feel A BURNING passion for you right from the get go and that's how they'll know that you're their person!

That was your reading, pile 2. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 3:

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my lover

So.. you guy's person and you come together in an interesting way. This is immediately telling me that your person is someone you don't expect to fall in love with. Ya'll might know each other for a while (depending on each person for how long exactly) and the feelings develop overtime. For some this person might reveal their feelings on accident while being drunk one night or something along those lines lmao (very specific, so take that with a grain of salt) lol but yea it's gonna be one of those really cute friends-to-lovers type situation with you and your person or enemies-to-lovers too maybe? 👀 Some KANTHONY vibes coming through #Bridgerton <3

Haha anyway.

You won't foresee a relationship between you and your person before it happens :p

Your person.. seems to have endured a partner before you (or many partners) who didn't really care for them. This may even be a feminine friend/family member as well. They broke your person's heart in a significant way and may even have manipulated you person into staying in the relationship (be it romantic or otherwise) which they eventually stood up to. Seems like a Karmic situation too btw. This Karmic situation, really helped your person grow and evolve into the person who was truly meant for you tho 😊 yay. They've healed from this previous heartbreak and somehow this road of healing brings them to you. Ah.. The reason why this previous relationship is coming into picture is because- they probably meet you while healing from this old situation.. they'd be hard at work trying to resolve the pain the went through and their reward for doing that is.. your love. AW. STOP IT! THAT'S CUTE <3

Ya'll remind me of that song "You Belong With Me" by our queen Taylor Swift. The lyrics are playing through my head now as I channel your person's energy. You could have additional messages in that song 😊

That was your reading, pile 3. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[pissterdaniel]

TIT AUCKLAND FINAL RECAP

the spoilery stuff is at the bottom of the post, the rest is safe

Since June there has been a discord server going for everyone at the Auckland show. It was amazing to make so many friends before even going to the show. We all got to know each other in the months leading up to the event. Super cool!

We all met up for lunch before the show to hang out and exchanged our crafts. (craft haul x) It made me so happy to see people excited to meet Carlos and my dolls :).

@peter-must-die with his amazing shirt holding Carlos

We made our way to the KTK theater, and I bought some merch. Literally shouted when I opened my photocards to see BLONDE QUIFF PHIL!!!!!! :O

I came PREPARED for my meet and greet, had an agenda broken down into 3 steps. I had been overthinking this for months and have lost so much sleep from tit anxiety. The plan was very helpful! I was revising it in the line.

My hands were totally full. Sister Daniel kept on escaping my grip, we think she was trying to run away. I also recall repeatedly doing my Christophe Giacometti (from yuri on ice) impression in the line.

In the meet and greet line I discovered that I randomly have a lot of upper body strength 😅. I was giving out VERYYY tight deep pressure hugs to people who wanted them. It was very calming. I also got a stopwatch out and we did some 4/4/8 breathing. Then our time was almost up, and WE COULD SEE DAN.

I filmed Max's meet and greet for them first. So that was good getting to spend a minute or so in front of Dan and Phil before it was my turn. I had briefed Max on my agenda, so they knew exactly what to do. My full meet and greet post with photos and the video are here (x). THANK YOU SO MUCH @shitwheresfoxy FOR BEING THE BEST GLAMOUROUS ASSISTANT EVER!

Phil did not seem like a human. I stupidly told him he was like an animatronic robot. He is just SO BEAUTIFUL IT DOESNT SEEM REAL. You need to understand, PHIL LESTER IS SO ETHERALLY GORGEOUS IT IS OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!!!! He's just so 🥰. No wonder Dan can't stop looking at him like that in the videos. I get it now.

Dan definitely led my m&g, and I've heard others say this too. He does most of the talking, offers to take the photos, and he had the biggest reactions to things. I made him cackle a few times and I will wear that like a badge of honour. Some other highlights include:

Dan's first reaction to Carlos "uhh.. what?"

Dan's crab hands in our selfie

Dan talking to my camera whilst I fetched something from Max

Their first reaction to my dolls

Phil waving and saying bye to me

BONUS 1 MINUTE AND 39 MINUTE VIDEO OF PHIL HOLDING CARLOS, THIS MEANS THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO ME

I am slightly embarrassed about how excited I got, I went a bit nuts. Told them Carlos was "the love of my life" 🤦. Was completely hyper after the m&g, had major zoomies and couldn't calm down. That's when we caught up with the silver VIP people from the server.

@totally-srs-all-the-time made this STUNNING bedsheet cape and wanted to put it on me to have mega bed sheet titfit. Only when she held it up to me, I thought she was wanting to use it as a weighted blanket to calm me. So I lay on the floor 😂, she still put it on me and got this pic.

Met the phiwi backpack too!!!

I recorded our preshow and put it on youtube (x). Can't believe Olly's figure skating question was answered! That was wickedly cool. There is a very small group of us who got SUPER into ice skating these past couple of months. So to have our niche acknowledged by Dan himself was PHENOMENAL.

We all danced to HOTOGO, @einsteinfrizz 's amazing video from the balcony can be found here (x)

And then it was time for the show.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

I took notes during intermission and after the show of what I remembered.

Our conspiracies were:

Toilet, Clothes, Bus, and Vegas

"They share clothes." Went on about how their nipples touch the same cloth and did weird nipply gestures.

Lawyer Dan banned Australia, wrote erotic fanfiction about Gollum, and went to jail for killing phil. (Phil then said "hopefully he was not a CEO" and everyone CHEERED SO LOUDLY FOR AGES. They were both caught off guard by the big audience reaction, and it seemed like Dan was genuinely surprised/shocked that Phil said that.

Linguist Phil's favourite word was 'perky nana', he liked to help old ladies cum, and had a secret collection of lesbians.

Phil's 1 minute improv was on stationary. He thought the person said penis, but he changed it to pens, and then decided to change it to stationary. He told a story of how he had a cola scented gel pen and would fill in an entire page and just sniff it.

Early on in the show Phil thought he swallowed a fly and started choking. He then yelled for a "minion" to fetch him water. Dan was taken back by this and it was about a minute before a crew member walked on with his water bottle.

(I'm sensing this show is a lot of Phil saying off-script random shit and dan being shocked by him. Which honestly checks out.)

"Jesus but more shippable" IM SORRY WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY DAN

Phil said reject modernity embrace tradition correctly.

They still think the phanniversary was "last month."

Everyone yelling "gay" together in unison was so healing.

Phil messed up the song lyric again and said "I got the tattoo" instead of "you"

SISTER DANIEL HOLY FUCK WHERE DO I BEGIN. I was in the 4th row on the left side which is where she stood. I knew all the spoilers going into it BUT NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME. I screamed at the top of my lungs when I first saw her come out. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF GETTING TO SEE HER IN PERSON I WILL NEVER TAKE THAT FOR GRANTED. She is so AAAH. Religious, eye-opening experiences were certainly had. AND SHE WAS IN DOC MARTENS. I'm never gonna be able to put into words how feral she made me.

I would say that I was very familiar with the show content before I got there. But in reality, everything was 100x weirder than I thought it would be. I mean that in the best way possible!!! Dnp were OFF. THE. RAILS. They were still the same people you see in the videos, but uncut and UNLEASHED.

AND THEN THERE WAS THE FACT THAT I WENT HOME WITH AN ACTUAL PROP?!?!?!

At the end of the show, I rushed to the front of the stage to steal the confetti. (I'm a hoe for collecting show confetti, I did the same thing at WAD).

Whilst I was collecting confetti and taking pics of Carlos, one of the stagehands came out a few times, handing out the Australian props to random people standing at the stage.

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!! Here are some close-up photos I took of Obi Wan, and a video of what he can do (x). I walked into TIT with a Sister Daniel and Father Philip doll, and I came out of TIT with Phobi Phan Phenobi.

I also got one of the role model or no-le model cards, it is blank on the other side apart from their signature.

I also got to get up and close with other people's props. I even got to play Max's ukulele. I played the TIT song and I can tell you first hand that that thing was VERY out of tune. I know Dan was only fake playing it, but at least tune it first 😂.

The day after, a big group of us went to Auckland Zoo! Man that was a lot of fun. We signed TABINOFs, and I got a bunchhhh of pics of Phobi Wan, my photo dump is here (x). @spanielt0wel also got a doll, so I made sure to get some photos with them together.

The post-tit depression is REALLLLLL. I miss being surrounded by like minded people. It was so easy to unmask and just be completely myself. I have never felt more like me than when I was surrounded by all the queer, neurodivergent phannies. This was the happiest I've felt in years. So thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who came to talk to me, and to all the friends I've made through the discord 💙.

Now I am back home and terrible influencing up my room cause I never want to forget this amazing experience.

The box frame was inspired by this one

The posters I got signed are looking GOOOOOD. Also Phobi Wan looks so silly sitting with my monster high dolls. I'm gonna treasure him forever. HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also thank you to everyone who voted on my poll you've convinced me that #4 is the way to go and I shall be ordering that flag soon.

THANK YOU TIT AUCKLAND

[mj0702]

For @tasha95 ... I hope it meets your expectations 😅 I got a little carried away 😅😅

“Bitsy I love you... I REALLY love you but this is ridiculous” Keira said one evening after training as you two were driving back to her home

“What?” you said absently as you looked up from your phone

“The situation between you and Ona” the blonde clarified

“There is no situation” you grumbled getting back on your phone

“There is... I don't know what happened and you know I'll never push you to tell me but I have eyes and the way Ona always looks over at you and you avoiding her like the pest is a dead give away that there is a situation” Keira said as she stopped at a red light

“There is no situation” you answered

“Bitsy” the blonde said softly

“I let a fan comment get the better of me and said some.. not so nice things” you mumbled

“What did the fan said that YOU of all people let it get to you?” Keira asked her hand finding your knee to calm you down

“They asked me if Lucy and Ona where a thing since Lstans wedding or before... you know.. back in Manchester” you mumbled getting even more ashamed

“Oh Bitsy... you started to overthink didn't you?” the blonde sighed

“Yeah... I called them hypocrites” you said looking down on your hands

“Why?” Keira asked confused

“Lucy was so upset about G and I and I really thought they started before....” you left the rest of the sentence open

“... you thought Lucy cheated on me with Ona?” Keira said confused and shocked

“Kinda... yeah” you mumbled

“And that would make Ona a hypocrite how?” the blonde started do push the answer out of you a little bit

“Don't know.... I was just so mad” you said honestly

“I DO understand where you're coming from Bits... and you know I'm always in your corner but you probably hurt Ona.. I know you didn't have it easy in the past but you need to suck it up and apologize” Keira said seriously her hand still on your knee squeezing it lightly

“I know.... I REALLY know... I just don't know HOW” you said your voice a little desperate

“Ona is very forgiving you know... pull her aside and apologize – a real honest apology and I can promise you she'll forget about it” the blonde smiled encouraging “... but you hurt her”

“I know... I feel very bad about it” you mumbled embarrassed

“Good.. you are an amazing person Bitsy – just show Ona” Keira smiled as she pulled into the driveway

That was one week ago. You still haven't apologized. Simply due to the fact that every time you talked some courage into yourself and you were on the way towards Ona to finally apologize someone called her, talked to her or swept her away for some media. So you retorted to you last resort which brought you to the current situation – slumped down against Lucys front door waiting for the familiar black Cupra to pull up. You were waiting now for two hours now and there was still no one in sight. Your phone nearly dead from all the texting with your girlfriend you were down to count the pedals of the roses in the small front yard. Finally there was a car coming down the street and you got some hope that it was Lucy but you soon realized that it wasn't. So you kept on waiting – you told Keira where you were so she wouldn't freak out but right now you wished for nothing more than someone familiar next to you. The sun began to set about 20 minutes ago and it started to get dark really quickly. You were tired – so so tired. Since you were back in Barcelona – and after you kind of worked through your trauma about your ACL and the realisation that you'll never ever play professional football again – you started to kick the ball around more often. Mostly with Mapí, Pina and Patri who never said a single word about how broken you looked. Even tho the three took it lightly with you it costed you a lot of Energy to keep up with them. The first time they saw you again when Lucy brought you back from Munich, your girlfriend right next to you not letting you out of her sight for a single second – they where shocked but never ever said a word about it and just accepted everything you were willing to give freely.

So you pulled the Barcelona Jacket you got from Alexia - in a small moment between the two of you – tighter around you and got a little more “comfortable” against the door. You didn't plan to fall asleep but eventually you did. That's how Lucy and Ona found you about one and a half hours later when they finally made their way home – having stopped for some dinner spontaneously on the way and then taking a little walk at the beach.

“Bubs? Hey Bubs” Lucy said softly and started to shake you lightly so she wouldn't startle you

“Hm??” you grunted lowly not really waking up

“Come on Bubs... it's getting cold here... let's get you inside” your sister said lovingly as she picked you up like you weight nothing

“Can't... need to wait for Ona.... need to pologize” you mumbled still three quarter asleep not realizing that Ona was right next to Lucy

“It's okay Bubs” Lucy mumbled into your hair holding you tightly against her while Ona unlocked the door “You can apologise tomorrow”

“No...” you whined as you drifted off to sleep again “... trying for a week now... always someone stealing her”

“She'll be right here when you wake up Bubs” your sister said as she carefully laid you down on “your” bed before leaving the room letting the door a small bit open so you wouldn't feel trapped if you'd wake up later

“She doesn't need to apologise” Ona said immediately as Lucy came back into the living room “I know she didn't mean it”

“She needs to... for her own sake... I saw how she tried the whole week to try and come over to talk to you” Lucy said as she opened a bottle of wine since they had a day off tomorrow

“When?” Ona asked confused not noticing how you struggled to find a way to talk to her “I kept an eye on her but every time I looked she was either deep in conversation or with the Trio of Trouble”

“Mhm...” your sister confirmed while passing a glass to her girlfriend “... and every time she looked over you were either in conversation or got stolen away for media – it drove me crazy to watch the two of you looking past each other for a week”

“Why didn't you say anything?” the spaniard said confused

“Not my place....” Lucy shrugged her shoulders “... that's something between her and you”

“Morning” you mumbled once you dragged yourself into the kitchen

“Bon dia Bebita” Ona said softly reaching you a cup of coffee

“I want to apologise” you mumbled lowly after you took a small sip of coffee

“No need Bebita...” the blonde started but you interrupted her immediately

“... yes need... what I did and say wasn't okay... not at all... Lucy and Keira always told me not to listen to fans or media... I don't know why this comment got to me the way it did.... maybe because Lucy was so... shitty about G and I... I don't know... but you had nothing to do with it... I'm sorry Ona... I'm sorry I pulled you into the shit I made up in my head” you said honestly but you couldn't bring yourself to look into her eyes

“Look at me...” Ona said firmly and you thought you really fucked up and your mind started to go a million miles an hour about how you just destroyed either the relationship between Lucy and Ona or even worse for you – the relationship between your sister and you

“... Bebita... I really appreciate your apology – I do...” the spaniard started softly “... but there is no need. I know how certain comments can hurt – especially if they're made to get a reaction out of you... and I followed some pages online and not one of them posted anything about Lucys and mine relationship other than the usual – so you didn't let that comment get to you until you were out of the situation and that's worth more than every apology... at least to me... you didn't comment on it you left and you didn't bring Lucy or I in a situation where we had to think about a plan to do “damage control”... you showed me that you accept me and our relationship... and that's the biggest gift you could give me”

[symptomsofdeceit]

What’s it like to make out with Nalis? Just imagine randomly during a chat at work the player is like “I want to make out with you, can I?” and is not joking, and if he agrees immediately starts kissing him. 😀

This isn’t explicit but it’s a bit suggestive so it’s under a cut to be safe! Also warning this is a very long answer 😅 it’s almost like 3 mini fanfics

It depends!

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

• If you have NOT gotten ending 3, so Nalis has never thought about kissing before:

When you first ask he’d agree, almost out of habit because he always likes trying new things with you. He wouldn’t have had time to genuinely think about it yet though. When you kiss him he’d blush a lot and make a pathetic uncharacteristic sound between a whine/moan/gasp. He would then suddenly excuse himself because he “forgot something he needs to do”.

He’d find somewhere private ASAP - still blushing and feeling very out of control of his emotions. If your kiss was more intimate / your body was pressed against him, he’d also be extremely hard and end up with a nose bleed (idc if it’s unrealistic, it’s fun and I’m cursing him with nose bleeds when aroused. I need to add that to his current kissing scene too).

You wouldn’t see him for the rest of the day, he’d text some excuse about work being busy. If you’re the type to overthink he’d also send a “btw thanks for always being a good friend!” message in an attempt to make sure you don’t think he’s mad at you 💀

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

• If you have gotten ending 3:

Nalis would start blushing when you ask this. Up until now you’ve only really seen him blush when he admits you’re a good friend/important to him, and that’s always felt very innocent and genuine. If you’re perceptive you might be able to tell that it feels a little different here.

Nalis would probably reply with something teasing like “Oh~? You want to kiss me? Have you… thought about kissing me before?” while trying to at least partially hide the excitement in his voice. He’d feel really conflicted between really wanting to kiss you again (especially now that you want to and know it’s him), but also feeling anxious because of how he can’t control these emotions.

If it’s too soon after ending 3, Nalis would probably end up pretending to get a work call and using an excuse to push this off until later. He’s just not sure about how to handle having feelings + desires that are above his control yet.

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

I’m including this as a fun little bonus:

• If, for some insane reason, after ending 3 you have another encounter with “Thaumo shapeshifted to look like Nalis” and asks to kiss him:

Nalis would start laughing in a pretty unhinged way. He’d sound like a weird mix between mocking and sweet and ask “Really, girlie/buddy? You want to kiss me again?” He’d quickly walk closer to you and pin you against the closest wall.

He’d be very insistent on asking why, trying to figure out if you want to kiss him because you think he’s Thaumo, or if it’s because he looks like Nalis.

Either way, after asking that he’d kiss you. It would be more possessive and aggressive while he’s struggling with all his emotions. He’d also break the kiss to ask if you wished he was “the real Nalis”. By the end of it he’d be very turned on and his nose would be bleeding, and he’d be feeling very unstable depending on your answers.

(Nalis is willing to do more when you think he’s Thaumo because then there’s no risk of you losing trust in Nalis)

[diazsdimples]

🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️ 🕵️‍♂️♾️ (This one already has a chokehold on me)

30 sentences of the most niche AU I've created 😅 + another 9 for the infinity symbol.

He comes to a stop in the foyer, his eyes straying to the large grandfather clock ticking away merrily in the corner. It’s 4 o’clock now, meaning his parents’ dinner party begins in 2 hours, and there’s still another 7 until he’s due to meet the contact. Leaning against the banister of the grand marble staircase, Buck ponders his instructions. Look for the beginning of new life. That line in particular confuses Buck. Bryant Park hasn’t had new trees planted since the Fuhrer visited in the late 40’s, and unless Josephine Shaw Lowell had something to do with obstetrics, he’s completely at a loss. Life can begin in many different ways, but he struggles to connect it with the location. There’s a large stretch of lawn behind the fountain, sweeping up to the steps of the public library. Maybe new life could equate to new ideas, that one might get from reading a book? Buck shakes his head, trying to clear his mind. He’s overthinking it and he need to catch himself before he spirals and panics. There can be no room for error tonight. He turns on his heel to make his way to the library, eager to find something to take him out of his head for a moment, when a loud tut from behind him stops him in his tracks. With the familiar sinking feeling of dread, Buck turns to face his father. “Your mother is hosting a dinner party with some of the most influential members of the Nazi party in 2 hours, and you’re not even dressed yet? What have you been doing?” Buck bites his lip before he says something stupid like “committing the highest form of treason by conspiring to overthrow the Fuhrer and drive the Nazis from out country.” Instead, he takes a deep breath through his nose, pulling his face into a neutral expression. He won’t give his father a reason to be angry with him. “Reading a book Maddie sent me,” he replies coolly. His father rolls his eyes and adjusts one of the shining golden domes on the sleeve of his crisp uniform. Buck has always hated the way he insists on strutting around in that godforsaken uniform every day, looking like a prized peacock with his medals and shiny buttons. “The Reich doesn’t like men who have the heads in books, Evan. They’re of no use to us.” His tone drips with disapproval, but Buck is too accustomed to it for there to be any real effect on him. “I’m sorry to be such a disappointment, Father,” he replies stiffly. “I’ll make sure I don’t disgrace you in front of your – ah – friends.” His father narrows his eyes but says nothing more, dismissing Buck with a jerked nod of his head. Buck takes the stairs two at a time and makes a beeline for his room. He slams the solid oak door and leans against it, breathing heavily. Maddie. Mentioning his sister to his father had made his gut twist with guilt. She won’t know what happened to him when the news of his disappearance reaches her. His parents likely won’t do much other than the expected reports with the police. They won’t search for him like they would have done if it were Daniel. Maddie forever think she’s lost another baby brother. He can’t do that to her. Running a hand through his hair, Buck crosses the room in 2 long strides and throws himself at his desk, rummaging through the drawers for a piece of paper and a fountain pen. He reaches for the battered copy of Charlotte’s Web, their favourite book as children, and thumbs through until he reaches the cipher at the very back, before he begins to write.

Tagging @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 @spotsandsocks and @steadfastsaturnsrings for potential interest

[cuephrase]

2024 Writing Review

tagged in this by @androxys, tysm!!

number of stories posted to ao3: four- three drabbles, one one-shot and one multi-chap fic

word counted posted for last year: 37, 886!! that's so much for me, crazy (both 2022 and 2023 were around 7k, for comparison)

fandoms i wrote for: batman - all media types, babyyyy. two of the drabbles were very comic specific so i have batman (comics) and nightwing (comics) tagged. wait. lmao that was wrong, i've edited it now, was supposed to be batgirl (comics) someone help me oh my god

pairings: we've got two hits for Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, then Cassandra Cain & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Everyone, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, and Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne

so, bc that's giving me a headache, five Dick tags, four Tim tags, four Bruce tags, four Jason tags, and one Cass tag. all but three of those are one fic tho lmao.

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads: penance, far and away. that fic got (is getting?) so much more love than i could have imagined or hoped for. absolutely mind-blowing fr

work i’m most proud of (and why): okay so this is a tie between penance and plea for two completely opposite reasons! penance is the first multichap fic i've ever completed and that's a huge milestone for me. plea i'm really proud of bc it's only 100 words but i feel like i managed to accomplish absolutely everything i wanted to and it's sooooooo satisfying to me.

work i’m least proud of (and why): hmmmmm. maybe inventory? it was supposed to be fluff and i corrupted it. so that frustrates me when i think about it even though the finished product isn't bad.

share or describe a favorite review you received: oh gosh ummmmm. help. i really loved every comment letting me know they'd cried real tears bc i am Evil. but if i had to choose one comment, i think this one has stuck with me the most (some parts blocked out bc Spoilers)

the fic has an ending spoiler now that it's complete, but when i was posting it i hadn't totally nailed the ending down. that apprehension meant so much to me, that willingness to follow the story- i could be reading into it idk, but i really value the trust that early readers had because, quite frankly, i don't think i had earned it. i also loved that they both couldn't decide what to think about tim and that they liked it- what i was portraying is messy and complicated and i think there's a really fine line there between stuff being ooc or frustrating or exhausting or dissatisfying with that kind of thing, so it was super !!!!! to have successfully walked that line for them!

but my favorite part of this comment is easily "the power of love is truly an ugly and beautiful thing...made me appreciate life". i don't really write romances, but the power of love is one of those things i end up wrestling with thematically a lot because it's just so captivating and it's one of those things i feel like i can't ever find the words for actually, i need you to just feel it and they felt it and- yeah. just yeah. and then writing/storytelling is something i use to help me appreciate life so overall just 🥹😭🫶 x1000

a time when writing was really, really hard: after i finished penance, rip. i got psyched out by all the positive attention and couldn't write 😅. there were plenty of times this year where i just wasn't trying to write so like i guess that was hard, but being paralyzed by overthinking when i had plenty of ideas and wanted to write Sucked. it's okay, i talked to my therapist finger guns

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: slight penance spoilers lol, but in ch 3, the dick and tim hug surprised me. not that it happened, bc i knew it was going to, but i just had the image of the scene, yk, not like. how it would truly feel to be in dick's headspace in that moment. and omg. it just attacked me. i couldn't stop crying it was so frustrating. i'd pause to collect myself, come back and just nope. the scene is actually shorter than i originally envisioned bc i physically couldn't smh

a favourite excerpt of your writing: oh gosh. um um ummmmmm i really like this bit from ch 1 of penance-

this moment was just incredibly fun for so many reasons, not least of which is that i got to break tim for the first time 😇

how did you grow as a writer last year: i learned that i can, in fact, start and finish something that isn't a one shot. idk if my writing has improved on a technical level at all? but, despite it being a bit of a one step forward, two steps back thing at times, i do think i gained some confidence in my ability to write and that'll be really nice in the long run if i can, yk. take the steps forward without going back.

how do you hope to grow this year: by writing more. i want to actually write things instead of daydreaming and maybe getting down like twenty words and then never looking at it again. at my most ambitious, i build a habit.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): oh shoot. i got so much support from so many people i almost don't know where to start. i am so beyond grateful to everyone who has supported me, and i'm going to single out @a-canceled-stamp, @canonicallyshort, and @koraesrambles for enabling the crap out of me. love you guys sm!!!! (that extends to everyone not just those three ofc!!)

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: the grieving process haha.

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: oh gosh ummmmmm. follow your gut. forget about audience, and rules, and whatever- if you know the story you want to tell, tell that story. just get it out. it deserves to be told.

any projects you’re looking to start (or finish) this year: the sequel to penance. my jason fic, my dick fic. i don't want to get ahead of myself or anything, but i hope i've got a handful of fics to look back on next year!!

no pressure tagging @sunflowersandink, @goldenraeofsun, @fleur-de-violette, @byrambles, and @elegitre (plus everyone already tagged)!!

[vividiana]

Questions from Fanfic/Author Ask Game!!

5, 9, 13, 15, 23, 27, and 30!!!

thank you so much Emma, I love to yap about my writing 😭❤️ (the questions are from this post if anyone would like to participate!)

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic? there is a bunch, from perfumery basics to knife-throwing techniques, but the most recent one was how to eat escargot and also why people smell wine corks before drinking 😅 (this was for a chapter of my post-canon fic where Eve and Astarion go to a very fancy restaurant)

9. How did you get into writing fanfiction? 'twas November of 2023. I was towards the end of my redeemed Durge playthrough, I got to the finale of Durge's personal quest, and I just thought that the dialogue with the companions afterwards (especially romanced Astarion) was kind of lackluster/anticlimactic. so I had an idea for a scene that took place when they got back to the Elfsong Tavern that night, and how Astarion finally broke and let down the facade and went on this rambling monologue for how utterly scared he was for Durge that night and how it all shook him up. that has become the first chapter of my first ever fic "the blood on my hands (scares me to death.)" I just wanted to give my Durge some more closure, and then I became obsessed with her and Astarion’s dynamic. and now here we are, 14 months and 100k words later, and I have a whole series written about them ❤️

13. Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing? not really. I went to a liberal arts school in the US, so I was able to take a bunch of different classes outside my major (sociology,) and I ended up taking two creative writing courses: an intro class and then a class on creative non-fiction. I also worked as a writing tutor for two years during college and helped people with their writing, but that was mostly essays and research papers. that’s the extent of my "official" writing experience.

15. Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction? oh yes, I’m very vocal about it 😅 I’ve had a couple friends read my fics. also, my good friend beta reads everything and helps me brainstorm the stories. she has never played the game, but she’s an avid reader of fantasy romance books, so she is super on board. she’s the reason I decided to post my fics in the first place and she’s kept me going through high and lows (love you, Connie!)

also, my parents know about it 😅 I shared parts of my fics with them, but despite their interest, they couldn’t get through it because of the language barrier (I’m Polish.) they’re both very supportive, though, and keep asking me how it’s going. my dad says I should publish it and make some money off of it and I’ve tried to explain to him that that’s not how it works, but he is very insistent 😂

23. What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? I would love to write a fic from Lae'zel's pov. after Astarion she’s my favorite bg3 character. but I feel like before I do that, I should play the game as her, just to get more insight on her character. I have no idea when that will happen because after 700 hours I can’t stand to start act 1 yet again. but it will happen one day!! 27. Are any of your stories inspired by personal experience? I’ve talked a bit about this in some previous asks, but basically a lot of what inspires my fluffy comfort post-canon fic are my past experiences in relationships—especially the disappointments and unmet needs and in general how I wish things had gone differently ❤️ I'm also a very anxious and overthinking person and I've poured a lot of that into Eve's character. 30. Have you noticed your style change over time? I have only been writing fic for a year or so, but when I compare my first fic to what I’m writing now, I feel like I have more of a grasp on Eve and Astarion’s voices and the dialogue comes to me more naturally. I also feel like I write shorter and more dynamic paragraphs and the writing is overall wittier and more dialogue-focused, though that might just be the change in subject—I mostly write post-canon fluff now and I started with act 3 angst, so as we have moved away from The Horrors, the tone shifted along with the story.

[talshiargirlfriend]

This instalment of spy-ay-ay-ay ✨vibes✨ for @candiedsumire snowballed on me, so let me sell you on it real quick: family banter, chocolate, an impassioned speech, Vulcan jokes, only one bed, and a dose of mutual pining. 2.8K words to use 2 lines. Can you pick them out?

Thank you @deadheaddaisy for talking me off the ledge 🥰🥰🥰

also tagging @iamstartraveller776 for a reason which will be clear about 370-some words in 😅

Follows immediately from the previous post here

—

Maybe he had been overthinking because things certainly started off well enough. His parents met them on the walkway in front of the house with smiles. 

Trip stepped up to make introductions. “T’Pol, I’d like you to meet my parents Elaine Meyer and James Tucker. Mom, Dad, this is T’Pol.”

He had no time to second guess whether he should have included her rank or called her his girlfriend as immediately his parents each raised a hand in a pair of very passable Vulcan salutes. 

“Peace and long life,” Elaine said in choppy Vulcan while her husband stood beside her proudly.

“Live long and prosper,” T’Pol responded in kind. 

After a brief pause, Elaine continued in English, “Sorry, I don’t know much more than that. Welcome to our home, T’Pol. We’re very pleased to meet you.” 

T’Pol gracefully moved her hand down to shake first Trip’s mother’s hand and then his father’s. 

“Thank you for your hospitality. It is agreeable to meet you, Ms Meyer and Mr Tucker.” 

“Please, call me Elaine,” his mother spoke at the same time his father insisted, “It’s Jimmy, please!”

“Oh, you’re gonna have to work for that one, Dad. It took me months to get her to call me Trip.” 

His parents exchanged an amused glance and led the way into the house.

Trip decided to press his luck a little, “and we were on kissing terms by then, right sweetheart?” She didn’t roll her eyes, but it really looked like she wanted to and that was good enough for him. 

As they followed his parents through the front door she paused and gave him a quizzical look. 

“What?”

“Perhaps I have misapprehended the nature of your nickname,” she said in a hushed tone. “Your father is not named Charles?”

“Oh.” Trip had a brief flash of panic. If it hadn’t occurred to him to tell her this, what if he’d forgotten something important?

“Trip?” she prompted. 

“Nah, you’ve got it right. I’m the third Charles Tucker, but I’m named after my grandad and my uncle.”

Jimmy overheard that and added, “Our oldest son is named Bert after Lainey’s dad, but then my brother Charlie and his wife Maggie had three daughters in four years and decided they were done having kids—”

“My cousins Daisy, Aster, and Violet - you’ll meet them tomorrow,” Trip interjected. 

“So when this fella came along after that we decided he should carry on the family name.”

T’Pol looked between the two men. “I see.”

“That’s her ‘humans are strange and illogical’ face. I see that one a lot,” Trip joked. 

“Maybe that’s because you personally are strange and illogical, son,” his mama chimed in. 

Jimmy chuckled, and T’Pol’s lips twitched. 

“Ha. Ha. Isn’t it nice to be home,” Trip groused. 

Ignoring his put-upon tone, Elaine patted his cheek. “It’s real good to have you home, baby. Why don’t you two go put your things away and get settled, and then we’ll have dinner.” 

Jimmy led them upstairs. “You two are in here,” he said, pushing a bedroom door open.

And that’s when they saw the one large bed filling the space. They’d be able to walk around it fine, but his plan of sleeping on the floor was right out. 

“Oh wow, new bed,” Trip said weakly. 

His dad winked - actually freaking winked - at him and said, “With you kids getting older and starting to bring home spouses and kids, we thought this room needed an upgrade. I’ll see you two downstairs for dinner.” 

Once he had departed, Trip eyed T’Pol warily. “Looks like we’ll be sharing a bed.” 

She responded with typical Vulcan pragmatism. “Then there will be no reason for you to suffer back pain. Which side would you prefer?” 

He stared at her for a second before placing his bag down to claim his side. She was either completely unaffected by the thought of sharing a bed with him or she was enjoying his discomfort. Maybe both. 

After a moment T’Pol spoke without looking up from the personal items she was unpacking. “I was concerned my being Vulcan would cause you some difficulty with your family. I am pleased that doesn’t seem to be the case.” 

“Nah, I mean it’s definitely unusual, but they’ve always been pretty supportive of me finding my own way in the world. And what’s not to like about you? Plus Mom has Vulcan colleagues - friends, even, at the university. Hell, it sounded like Dad was on board before I even called. If anything, I’m more worried someone’ll make an embarrassing sex joke or ask when we’re getting married… but you’re trained to handle ‘offensive situations’ and I grew up with it.” He smirked. 

“I do not think my family would be as welcoming,” she said quietly. She sounded almost sad. 

“Well, it takes some people a little longer to come around. Our project and the joint missions to follow could really help with that. Are you close to your family?”

“Not particularly. My mother is often concerned about my erratic behavior,” T’Pol said drily. 

Trip looked at her suspiciously. “You’re not joking?”

She shook her head slightly in the negative.

“You’re a loose cannon? A Vulcan black sheep? My girl’s a rebel.” He looked at her salaciously, “T’Pol, that’s kinda hot.” 

She gave him a long-suffering look, but there was no longer a trace of sadness on her face as she followed him to dinner. 

Shortly after they all sat down at the table a blonde tornado blew in. “Sorry I’m late! Hi Mama! Daddy, is that the spicy pasta? It smells delicious! Oh, Trip! I’m so glad you made it!” 

She paused then and took a breath. 

“You must be T’Pol,” she continued in a much more dignified manner. “I’m Elizabeth Tucker, and I’m very pleased to meet you.” 

“It is agreeable to meet you, Ms Tucker.” 

Elizabeth’s ponytail swung wildly as she shook her head, “No, don’t get up on my account! I’m just gonna go wash up and I’ll be right back!”

“So that’s Lizzie,” Trip said into the silence that followed. 

“Takes after her mama,” Jimmy grinned. 

“And her brother,” T’Pol added almost inaudibly. 

Elaine and Trip shared a mock offended look and then she shrugged. “All my babies are brilliant and beautiful. I’m happy to take the credit.” 

Elizabeth returned, and dinner continued. They chatted about Lizzie’s new job, progress on the technology integration project, the fact that Trip’s mom and T’Pol’s mom worked in anthropology and cultural history respectively - small universe! - and Captain Jefferies’s excellent recovery among other topics. Trip found himself relaxing and enjoying himself. 

“T’Pol, I’m not sure how to ask this and I promise I intend no offense…” Elaine began.

Trip felt his stomach clench. So much for relaxing.

“You seem more … personable, I suppose, than most of my Vulcan colleagues. That could be personal preference or generational difference, and I don’t mean to imply that you’ve been too casual! Or that they’re too formal! I just … I don’t want you to feel like you have to try too hard with us. We want you to be comfortable here.” 

“There is no offense where none is taken. As Trip’s chosen partner, I do wish to make a favourable impression on you, and I appreciate your efforts to ensure my comfort,” T’Pol replied. “However, I believe what you have noticed is the result of my cultural training prior to joining the technology integration project. Captain Stenn impressed upon our team the logic of observing and adapting to certain human cultural norms, as he believed this would facilitate cooperation and yield more productive results.”

“Your cultural sensitivity training must’ve been a lot more interesting than ours. We pretty much got taught the ta’al and reminded not to talk with our mouths full,” Trip chuckled. 

“I don’t know, T’Pol,” Jimmy said with a twinkle in his eye. “Maybe you’re just a charmer. The handshake thing…?”

“Slick, right?” Trip exclaimed. “Like a choreographed dance move. I knew I was in trouble the minute I met her and she pulled that on me.” 

“Well, she’s certainly charmed Trip,” Lizzie added as she looked between her brother and his apparent partner in amusement. 

“Hey, I’ve charmed her, too,” Trip defended himself.

All eyes swivelled to T’Pol, who somewhat reluctantly confirmed, “He has made a positive impression.”

Trip shot her a cheeky grin, “and you think I’m funny, too.”

“I will allow you to persist in that belief because it makes you happy.”

“All right, fine,” Trip said over the laughter of his family. “If I’m gonna be mocked by all and sundry, I should at least get some dessert to console me.”

He looked at his mother hopefully, “Did I hear you mention cheesecake?”

“That’s for tomorrow, but I did make brownies — egg and dairy free.”

Lizzie clasped her hands together in delight and leaned toward T’Pol, “Mama only bakes for special occasions. Her brownies are so good!”

Trip stood up to clear away the dinner dishes and his mother followed suit.  T’Pol moved to join them, but he waved her off with a smile, “I’ve got it. I’ll see what tea they’ve got since you’re not big on coffee.”  

Once dessert was finished, T’Pol excused herself for evening meditation. 

A few minutes later Trip gestured vaguely, “I’m just gonna go check on T’Pol and see if she needs anything. Be right back.” 

His parents exchanged a knowing look. 

“Goodnight, son,” his dad called to his retreating back. 

Trip knocked on the bedroom door so he wouldn’t startle T’Pol. He’d seen how fast she could react to a threat and sneaking up on her was likely to get him pinned down with her arm against his throat and … Whoa, easy there.  He shook his head to clear it. 

“Come in.”

She sat on the end of the bed in her snug t-shirt and loose pants pajamas looking just slightly … spacey. 

“Hey, I don’t want to interrupt your quiet time. Just wanted to make sure you're ok.”

“I’m fine,” she answered too quickly. 

He narrowed his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Chocolate has a … mildly intoxicating effect on Vulcan physiology,” she answered grudgingly. 

Well, that was news to Trip! He grinned, “So you’re tipsy?”

She glared. “Slightly. I have been trained to act while under the influence of a variety of intoxicants and will continue to perform any necessary duties that may arise,” she assured him. 

She’d retreated into formality and couldn’t seem to settle on a focal point when looking at his face, so yeah, she was definitely a little drunk. 

“Of course. Never doubted you… you look a little wobbly though.”

“Your sister was very insistent that I share a second slice with her. I did not believe it would cause any difficulties. However, the effect was slightly more potent than I anticipated.” T’Pol sounded almost apologetic.

Trip winced, “Yeah, uh… Mom told me she accidentally added the cocoa twice and was really relieved the brownies still tasted all right.”

T’Pol tilted her head adorably. “Then it appears my initial judgment was sound. I simply failed to anticipate the… human element. I will not repeat that error.” 

“So, is there anything I can do? You need water or a cup of tea? Want me to get out of your hair? I can go sleep on the couch and say I was snoring—“

“No! That will not be necessary.”

“Ok, then what do you need?”

She looked so reluctant to answer it tugged at his heart. 

He sat down beside her. “Come on, T’Pol. You’ve done so much for me. Tell me how I can help you.”

“I have simply done my duty to the best of my abilities,” she deflected softly. 

He snorted. “Duty is getting the sensor and engine upgrades going. Watching my back is duty. Calming me down when Matt was rushed to the hospital? Watching silly movies with me? Coming here with me and charming the pants off my folks? Honey, we’re way past duty. Maybe you think you’re just really good at your job and maintaining cover - and you are - but you’re also … you’re really good at being my best friend. We’re in this together. And you and me? We make a hell of a team. So whatever you need right now, I’ve got you. Okay?”

She looked at him, emotion pooling in her dark expressive eyes until she blinked it away. Her brow creased like she was considering something. 

“Since we are in no immediate danger, the most sensible course of action would be to rest and allow my body to metabolise the toxins naturally.”

He nodded, and she continued, “Normally I would meditate to calm my mind before sleep, but the effects are making it difficult to achieve the desired state of mind. However, I believe listening to a familiar voice could provide a grounding effect.”

It took him a moment to hear the request in her words. “So, you want me to stay here and talk to you?” he checked. 

“If it is not an inconvenience.” 

“It’s not. But even if it was, I would gladly be inconvenienced if it made things easier for you.” A little embarrassed by his own vehemence, he stood abruptly. “Just gonna change and brush my teeth.”

When he returned she was sitting exactly as he’d left her, listing slightly to one side. 

“You sure you’re gonna be able to sleep next to a smelly human?” he teased. 

She made a show of sniffing the air in jest. Something indecipherable passed across her face. It wasn’t disgust, but whatever it was disappeared in a blink as she leaned back, gripping the bedcover tightly. 

“Your scent is not offensive to me, Trip.” 

Before he could work out how to respond to that, she’d moved up the bed and curled up on her side, closing her eyes. 

Trip followed suit and laid on his back with his hands tucked behind his head. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, “So is hitting the chocolate and shacking up with boys the kind of erratic behaviour your mom worries about?” 

T’Pol frowned slightly. “When word of our pairing reached Vulcan, she told me to expect a formal communique regarding the dissolution of my betrothal. She was not pleased.”

Trip was stunned. He really didn’t like the idea of causing problems for her. Or the idea of her having a fiancé, for that matter. 

“You’re engaged? he spluttered as he turned to face her fully. “Is this- am I causing you trouble?” 

She waved a hand in dismissal without even opening her eyes. “It is a formality. I was issued an ultimatum regarding my betrothal prior to accepting assignment on Earth.  I preferred a position on the integration team over marriage to Koss. Activation of my secondary assignment - our situation - simply makes me more undesirable. Thus the ‘greetings t’sai’ letter.”

His jaw dropped. “Was that a ‘Dear John’ joke?” he asked incredulously. 

She looked pleased with herself. 

“Well, I’m glad you think it’s funny! Geez, T’Pol. I thought I’d ruined your whole life!”

She didn’t quite snort. “Hardly.” After a moment she added, “I may be divulging too much information in my inebriated state.” 

“Not from my perspective, and you know I’ll keep your secrets, but we can talk about something else.” 

Trip settled onto his back again and rambled on with occasional replies from T’Pol. He talked about how glad he was to have met her, his opinions about the upcoming Vulcan-Starfleet mission, how he would improve the sensor installation prior to testing, and a rundown of the various family members she might meet at Lizzie’s graduation party the following day.  

After a quiet minute he thought she’d fallen asleep until she suddenly whispered his name rather intently. 

For a horrible second he thought she was going to tell him she needed to vomit. He turned on his side to face her. “Yeah?”

“You have a very interesting face,” she told him, staring at said face for a moment and raising her hand in his direction slightly before tucking it under her pillow and closing her eyes again. 

“Okaaaay,” he laughed. “Thanks, I guess?”

“I don’t think I’d get tired of looking at it,” she mumbled sleepily. 

By the time he could process the thought what does that mean? he realised she was actually asleep this time. 

He looked at her peaceful features, grateful she felt safe enough to let her guard down with him. After a moment he became aware he might be moving past friendly affection toward something like longing and turned away before he could reach creepy staring territory. 

He let the steady sound of her breathing behind him soothe him until he hit on another realisation: he’d been joking around with his dad before, but he might really be in trouble here. 

[kamiversee]

Kami, that first chapter was absolutely everything i could have wanted and more from an AU like this 🥹 the attention to detail in every aspect in order to set the scene was incredible! there was so much proper dating and the world building right off the bat, and especially when it came to the dialogue. you did a great job in using periodical vocabulary in a way that doesn’t sacrifice comprehension and still fits the tone of the trope!! i absolutely loooove period pieces and royal AU’s, so i’m geeking out about the fact that you’re making one for jjk that’s this inclusive 🫶

the reader has so much personality and relatability, it was so easy to immerse myself in this first chapter!! the way that we immediately start with the thirsting for Yaga (REAL. SO REAL. SOOOO FUCKING REAL I WANT THAT MAN SO BADLY.) was hilarious in its subtlety. the foreshadowing with Utahime’s silent attraction (and awakening?) for the reader was so cute and fun. also, the fact that our personal knight is Yuki? BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GAWDDDDD

also, the way i was absolutely floored during Naoya’s segment?? UGH. that man would be perfect if he didn’t speak. he’s too hot for his own good. i was definitely not expecting him to agree to the harem, and i was definitely not expecting us to agree to the marriage. i definitely thought we were going to deny the marriage and somehow seduce and build a harem of powerful allies to make preparations for war, but this route definitely makes more sense 😭😭 this is why you write and i don’t LMFAO

i’m so excited to see the next few chapters!! i can’t wait to see what details in the first chapter will eventually make their way into the plot. i’m already overthinking everything. i’m side-eyeing that necklace hard as fuck. it definitely could have just been a detail necessary for making the characters ogle at our tits, but let me be delusional about this.

also, “Prince S-“? PRINCE SATORU? FUCK, PLEEEEAAASE I NEED HIMMMMMM I NEED HIM SO BAD. i can’t wait to see how the plot will go in terms of involving all(?) of the nations you mentioned. especially that small but mighty Middom (wonderful naming, btw. didn’t feel unnatural or cringe, a common issue most period-fics have when it comes to world building). bravo, kami!! i’m so excited to see you back and so passionate over a new series!! us stressing Hiromi out is so hilarious and perfect. i can’t wait to put that big nose to use. UGH.

TFL Spring was iconic. i’m so ready for COS Winter(?) I hope you’re ready for my grueling analyses again 🥹

ALSO, SHOUTOUT TO MY BOY INO. YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP YET BUT YOU MADE IT TO THE PAIRING LIST. WE’RE SO BACK.

i need ino so fucking bad i could explode into a cloud of red mist rn i’m so excited for his chapter(s? hopeful)

-☃️

I’m so calm rn guys.

So uh, usual yappatron below..!

First off, HEYYY ☃️NONNIEE!! You were missed ml!

I’m elated to hear how well received that first chapter was. Soso happy I did this royal AU some justice because I definately had my worries! 😅 Honestly, I was worried some parts would feel cringe or too overdramatic but I’m glad to hear it wasn’t!!

This reader actually felt so refreshing to write. tfl!reader was always fighting for herself given the situation she was put in & mln!reader puts herself into certain situations that make life difficult so where CoS is concerned, I felt like a powerful, confident, and (mostly) collected reader was best! I tried not to lean too much into the fact that she’s just a princess & gave her as much personality as I could. 🥰

How you catch the foreshadowing so quickly, I’ll never know. CAN I GET TO THE THIRD CHAPTER AT LEAST BEFORE YOU CLOCK IT, GAH LEEE. (Im not complaining) 😭

There will be a not-so-subtle ongoing theme of feminism & its importance given the time period this all takes place in (I don’t have any specifics for it but wtv) so I felt it only natural to make Yuki the reader’s knight. (I need her to top me)

Naoya & the reader’s segment gave me mild flashbacks of Gojo & the reader in tfl. I love the bickering, the tension that lies beneath it all, the hate & vexation, UGHHHH. & the reader’s plan will be further explained in the next chapter so, any questions or confusion on it WILL be answered! 😚

PRINCE SATORU INDEEEDDDD UGGHHHHHH. He’s coming soon guys (literally, maybe?), y’all aren’t ready.

Idk if this helps but the plot kinda follows this adventuristic kinda theme..? I’d elaborate but uh.. spoilers. 💀

MIDDOM ACTUALLY HAS A FUNNY STORY TO IT TOO! So, I imagine the continent of this whole au being almost like a circle (?). There are five nations, the main four being the North, South, East, and West BUT, then like smack dab in the middle is this small place they call Middom! (Since it’s yk.. in the middle.. so I literally just did: kingdom + middle = middom)

& yes, hiromi will find himself stressed……. Pretty much all throughout the fic. 😭 I felt it was fitting for his character.

IM (clearly) BEYOND READY FOR YOUR EVERY ANALYSIS!! I literally had to take several breathers before responding to this bc it’s literally the first chapter & ur already back at it. Im. SO calm rn, I swear.

THE INO MENTION PLSSS, YOU ARE SURVIVING OFF OF LITERAL CRUMBS RN. 😭😭 I fear for the chapter he’s officially introduced or even mentioned.

With tht being saidd… ty for reading my yappathon. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

& Thank you sm for reading! 💗

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi,

I think my prior ask maybe got lost in the shuffle. I know you’ve been super busy so I understand. Hopefully this one makes it through 🤞🏼

Hmmmm so I guess Paige is taking her frustrations out on Angie because she feels like she could potentially be taking her spot on the team after her 1yr deal is up? Poor Angie. Why do I feel like the micro aggressions might not be over with? Curious to see what Azzi’s reaction will be to the news.

I love menace Tessa and Jana. Figured someone else was bound to catch on, those 2 couldn’t hide their heart eyes even if they wanted to. Jana saying “won’t somebody please think about the complications” made me laugh really good. I see what you did there lol.

Stephie and Paige are becoming my new favorite duo, I love their relationship so much. Stephie not wanting Paige to cook is so real. I feel like Paige’s cooking style would just be door dash. I can’t picture that woman cooking anything 😂 I loved the call back of how much Paige hates vegetables and anything healthy calling them “nasty green things”. I think about that episode all the time. It’s always surprising how terrible the diets of elite athletes are. Paige probably would just eat In N Out and Noodles and Company for every meal if she could. Food is just another example of how much of a ying n yang relationship Paige and Azzi have. Princess eats all this really tasty healthy food, and Paige would rather shovel Chick-fil-A down her throat while she runs around 😅

Ohhhhh Stephie inherited the petty gene from Azzi I see 😃 And she’s a master manipulator? Using Clemence was a stroke of evil genius really. I love jealous Azzi! Not Claudia calling out her mom 😂 Stephie using Claudia’s mom to make her point? Oh this kid is too smart for her own good.

Hmmmm so the conversation with Drew in the car, how long has Azzi been feeling doubt? Really curious to finally find out what happened with the break up, because Drew’s reaction to seeing Azzi again and seeing his sister get back with her, just holds a lot of bitterness. More so than what seems reasonable for the info we have received so far. Like obviously he doesn’t understand Azzi’s reasoning for the break up. Did Paige just not share the real reason? Was Azzi’s reason to Paige not fully clear? It doesn’t feel like he believes that Azzi did whatever she could to not hurt his sister and as a byproduct not hurt himself. Just seems like there might be some misunderstanding that’s been festering for years. Obviously he’s hurt that Azzi wasn’t around in his life anymore and that’s definitely part of it. I’m just waiting for the full curtain to be pulled back I guess you could say.

Can’t wait to be a fly on the wall for that super awkward dinner next chapter 😅

__📚

Hi lovie,

I fear it either didn't get through or it got buried under everything, sorry love <3

Yep! Trust her to never deal with her frustrations the right way lol.

They're so darn obvious, that it was only a matter of time before someone picked it up and really Jana needed someone else to commiserate with her.

I absolutely love writing Stephie and Paige so I love that y'all love them too! Paige's cooking style beyond doordash is making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches lmao but yeah she definitely drives Azzi a little insane when instead of helping get Stephie to eat her greens, she's out there gagging at them.

Evil genius Stephie fr fr

Azzi I think has always been a bit of an overthinker and especially when it comes to her relationship with Paige and it all sort of reaches a cumulative breaking point eventually. Drew doesn't know a lot about the breakup because it's something Paige never really wanted to talk about. But there's really a lot of things with Azzi that has Drew upset down to the fact that if she'd stayed, Paige would never have to have gone through her heartbreak, even if she wasn't really in love with her, with Olivia either. And ofc he feels like Azzi abandoned him too. But yeah a lot of things to be unpacked.

[runninriot]

20 Questions For Writers

i'm a little late because i took a break while on vacation but THANK YOU for the tag @ataliagold and @sidekick-hero 🖤

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

52

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

468,074 (written in 16 months, which is a personal achievement i'm actually quite proud of)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Steddie only for now because these boys still have me in a tight grip i can't get out of

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

thought i'd only look at the stats for the ones i wrote this year out of interest

Liberate Me

Worship Me

Sweet Thing

Tomorrow

You're A God (Be My Sinner)

5. Do you respond to comments?

always!! i appreciate everyone who's taking the time to comment on one of my fics so much. love these little interactions

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

it's 'happy endings always' in my house but the ending of Only Love could maybe count as angsty?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

it's hard to choose but Where The Sun Still Shines has one of my favourite happy endings

8. Do you get hate on fics?

people have always been very kind to me (thank you, people! 🖤)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes and any kind? since i started the The Best You Ever Tasted series i have tried not overthink it and not to limit myself anymore when it comes to writing smut and to just go for it. there's still more to explore 😏

10. Do you write crossovers?

apart from my first ever steddie fic Real Love Is Forever (ST×The Crow mash-up), i haven't written any crossovers yet

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i think/hope not?!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope. but i'd love it if that ever happened

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

no but i think it could be a fun experience although i'm not sure i'd want to burden anyone else with the chaos that is my writing process 😅

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie. don't know what it is exactly but i love them being in love and writing and reading about them makes me fucking happy

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Weight of the World. do i want to finish it? yes!!! will i ever? only the stars and moon know (it's been a year, man 😔)

16. What are your writing strengths?

people have said i'm good at writing dirty smut mixed with deep emotions which is a compliment i hold dear to my heart

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

ugh. plotting/outlining, just planning ahead in general. i always start my fics with a random sentence and just take it from there which has cost me some nerves in the past because i never know what i'll end up with

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

love when people do that. i think it can be a nice way for authors (like me) who aren't native english speakers to sprinkle bits and pieces of their own first language into their fics

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Steddie (any hand-written sins from my youth are well-hidden in old notebooks and will never see the light of day again)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

oh god, that one's hard because i love all my brain babies equally but

We Are The Lifeless Stars (Shining In The Dark) is the one that broke me most

Small Treasures To Keep is my favourite prompt inspired fic (kudos to all of those amazing people providing us with writing challenges and prompts, i love you guys!)

i absoluetely loved creating Vampire Steve's background story in Show Me What It's Like (To Live On The Other Side)

Unlovable is very special to me in many ways

and Monsoon and Harrsion was probably the silliest fic idea i ever had, inspired by Jemma who came up with the names. it was so fun to write and it still makes me laugh when i think of my google search history while writing that porn actors au 😆

that was fun!

feel free to ignore me if you've already done this or don't want to but i'd love to read your answers

@thisapplepielife @morningberriesao3 @steddieas-shegoes @thefreakandthehair @steddie-island 🖤

[lurkofyourlife]

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

i just know you’ll have a very thought out answer for this one.

🩷🩷🩷

Honestly I don’t xD but maybe I should??? I’m assuming this is a full genital and gender presentation swap and not just a biological sex markers or genitals-only change— but I may be overthinking x3

Knowing it’s from you, I now immediately would want to go subby male real quick (as if I would have much choice here; I am not a dominant persona and a change of genitals wouldn’t change that 😅), but the service top angle…

I mean I’d be such a whore tbh, cause it could never get traced back to me if it’s just for a day, so I would be the cutest fuckin nerd boy making whimper/moaning audios online— and out in the real world I would be complimenting girls in a very “I don’t actually want anything from this” kind of way. I would be the nicest boy because I would never see them again since it’s one day, and I’d want to be the type they’d compare every future interaction to, and it would only take focused concentration about doing it for 24 hours (realistically, like 8 hours of public time or less). So I could really just be That Nice Boy that brightens your day with no ulterior motive. Truly channeling sweet puppy energy as long as I can 🤞

If I had someone (*cough*) to play with… I mean god… unhinged feral service top energy. Fuck you til I’m overstimulated but still desperate to stay inside you energy. Touchy groping humping puppy, who gets rougher and rougher cause he can’t help it he just wants you so bad, stop squirming, just hold still so I can fuck you, I’m so sorry can you breathe? No this’ll just be a second, just hold still, I’m almost there- 😵‍💫

NSFW ask game, send me a number

[sunnyapollonjabrigidotter]

Here something i created on the magickal sea 😅

(I think Apollo would agree)

*** *** ***

Since a little child i wanted to see the sea

And first time i saw its vastness fell in love with it

And more and more each decade, as i grew...

There ive known an imense magickal force

A force that corrupted me, it taking away my innocence...

In the country i live there is no sea

People are poor, tho rich in soul

There are harder times so many different opinions rise: as to who shall be the leader,

what way should they go...

My country s little, but with lots of different tribes

Where they even come from? *sigh* ...

They come from people's ignorance

& confusions in big...

They came cs people were rather acustomed to argue with each other, rather than really listening to each other, setting points straight... how do you cure this blindness?

I became so frustrated that i wanted to run away... and what better place than to the magickal sea, with its shores...

I booked a plane ticket to the sunny country of my dreams, in which ancient whispers i found the part of me that called to be awakened, despite its christian predominant and living traditions...

Yeah, i see, there is magick in everything, call it as you want.. so i thought, but not everything attracts everyone... & ive been to church when little, and i realised its not really my place... then i became more curious in me, through seeking knowledge, not working for marks, but the feeling... so i probably was meant to await that sparkle, that magick no strict doctrine could wash away from my spirit... that, as guessed, will have to rise when my overthinking mind will stop... it has to stop... it's too tiring, after all, to think this much... & it's no real point in that... let the winds lead away the perturbing thoughts, & let the seas wash the body & give in more of that which it holds, the salt with its essences... "the salt of the world" s now that chorus resonating in my ears & trying to internalise & understand better...

So my footsteps took me now to there... barefoot, easy and happy... i almost forgot i cant swim, but reminded myself when i come to as far as my feet can touch the soil of the underwater...

But something happened in that magick of the sea, it felt like i was beginning to swim, tho to be able to i needed to leave something i wasnt yet ready to... too many blockages.. in me...

I came back to the shore telling myself, next time, ill try again... others can, why cant i? I thought, terrifyingly tho... i either swim, either die...

...

Next time as i came back, a month & 27 days has passed... i felt the calling to go... i took a big breath widened my arms, got in & then lifted my legs...

Is so uneasy to fall everytime & take that salty taste in, with whatever rests might be there...

Then i remember a song, a sweet melody was it called? tho i didnt understand much of it, other than that it could be of two that fell for each other, and as i fell for the sea, he sung probably of trust to her... nowadays when i think of that song i envision me hugged by the sea, as i was then, except my friend was in the picture, too... & she was more confident than me...

Leaving any thoughts away in a smile i squated again & pushed a leg backwards with the hands ahead, holding to my friend... saddly we werent able to make it, but i was dreaming of it since then...

Now i was thinking, what if the sea s really made, among other things, to really change one not just physically but esp mentally, in soul, even spiritually... cs as i said i had the blockage i thought i could get away but i guess i didnt know how... ig, not thinking but doing... or... how?

& what else??

Thought also now, that the song of the sea s not only slightly transforming, but changing one in all?. Maybe that's what happened to... Medusa? Remember? She was changed in a monster by Athena, but After she was raped by the King of the Seas, of the Poseidon...

and what if she was changed by the sea power, those like me know that's not okay to take myths ad literam... & it wasnt in a temple, or on a meadow, but in a sea... since the features Athena 'gifted her with' whatever you consider that a blessing or a curse were... was just a manifestation of what the ever-changing sea, starting with her essence, left her with...

- so Athena s not to be blamed of anything:

Some said she sent a blessing in disguise on her, but i think it was more, it was she, the union, the mission she had, of serving the temple of the goddess, ... s not just a mysoginistic trope (tho interpretation vary widely... )

P.s.: this inspo came after saw a necklace of Medusa - n asked the seller what her real meaning is, & those what it protects of?? cs thought, also mainly cs a saying i read of from dont remember which article, but which i recognised, namely that of "petrifying fear"

"Ofc, there was much more, than just the sea" ...

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? (Or headscratches since you got pretty short hair)

21. What are your bad habits?

25. What part of your body are you most comfortable with?

30. Do you ever want to get married?

38. Describe your dream girl and guy? (Physically as well as personality wise) I know, it's superficial in a way but even if personality does a lot, everyone has some kind of type, right?

43. Do you smile at strangers?

72. What color are your towels?

74. How many stuffed animals do you have?

96/97. Favourite Actor and Actress?

101. Do you type fast?

106. Have you ever broken someone's heart?

121. Are you mean?

127. What makes you happy?

Yes, those are a lot but I'm bored on the train and had nothing better to do :p

Hope that's okay :3

6. Genuine people, kind people, people with depth, people who see the humanity in others etc. lol

13. Honestly not really, even when I had pretty long hair I didn’t like people touching it 😅. That whole thing of “don’t touch black peoples hair” is real lol. But I do love when someone rubs the back of my neck 😌

21. Probably too many to count lol 😅 but biting my nails, impulsivity at times, overthinking, eating too much candy 😅

25. I’m gonna say all parts of my body lol, I have some body dysmorphia moments but over I’m comfortable with how it looks and how it carries me

30. Honestly no. I’m kinda against marriage as an institution. If I find someone who wants to be life partners I’m down for that lol

38. I’m gonna be very boring and say I don’t really have a dream person 😅. If you’d asked me about five years ago I would’ve known down to the detail what I wanted in a person. But I think now I find attraction and “types” more fluid.

43. Yes 😊

72. Most of them are black and I have two that are orange.

74. In my apartment, maybe five. At my parents house, quite a few lol

96/97. Daniel Kaluuya and Viola Davis (also I’m adding Zendaya to this list)

101. I think so

106. If I have no one’s told me

121. I don’t think in terms of mean, but I do stick up for myself and people have labeled that as mean before

127. A good cup of coffee, my dog, my friends, quality time, summer, good movies, a lot of things lol

[17-noodlebird]

Two posts in one day!? Could this be!?

Anyway...

Reprogrammed!!!!

Dedicated with love and hard work to @tboom10

🤎❤️🧡💛💚🛸🩵💙💜🩷🤍🩶🖤

In honor of Pixar's Inside Out 2, a movie of which I have high hopes for

~~~~

Okay, folks, so I'm just gonna be straight to the point here; in The Amazing Digital Road Trip AU, Caine had been reprogrammed by digital diplomat Valerie in the hopes of him becoming “more human” and maybe hopefully mingling with the other human performers of the Digital Circus. And, uh… it's a rollercoaster for everyone, I'll give you that! 😅

This all takes place 2 years after Pomni’s initial arrival to the Digital Circus, approximately in the year 2026, where Pomni and Caine have already become best friends after the former realizes the latter has the same goal as her (though even then, her desire to find an exit has been put on the back burner for now to try and practice her empathy skills with Caine). And as previously stated, it also takes place 6 months before the initial road trip happens. So 2 years and 6 months after the first (and supposedly only) season of the canon show itself. Bare with me, audience; I've been writing all of this as I go.

So with all that said and done, here are the 13 initial emotions Caine gets to experience for the first time!

🤎❤️🧡💛💚🛸🩵💙💜🩷🤍🩶🖤

~~~~

🤎 Confusion 🤎

• His primary emotion. As a creative and learning AI there are lots and lots of things he DOES NOT UNDERSTAND AT ALL. Like for example, if any of the human performers have this ongoing inside joke that he has trouble grappling with, odds are he might fry his circuits overthinking it (which happens way too frequently nowadays lol). Plus, the overt intake of new info might end up overwhelming him to the point of sensory overload, so he'll be taking breathers from time to time (though he'll keep on insisting he doesn't need one).

• Gen Z humor is one that baffles him the most, much to the amusement of a few of the performers (especially Jax, Zooble, and Pomni), and he'll try (and fail beautifully) to try and find the meaning of the funny, which will overwhelm him into a stated of confused catatonia (Ragatha has to step in to stop him from frying his circuits further).

• AI are pretty known for being logical and precise (it's kinda their job to be), so if any changes to structure are made or if something illogical occurs (like any unexplained fallacies to simple logic or breaking the rules of a concise pattern), he'll slightly freak out and try to correct the illogical thing (think to that scene from Steven Universe where Pearl destroys a teddy bear with her spear because of how unlinear it was or something). As someone diagnosed with OCD and have ASD, same, Caine. Same.

• Lastly, Caine will often try and come up with reason for why things are the way they are when things aren't structured or don't go according to plan, which can cause him to panic in his state of confusion and uncertainty, not wanting to accept that "it do be like that sometimes", as in, there isn't always going to be a reason for why shit happens, and that's okay. The real world is a lot more complicated than meets the eye, filled to the brim with gray areas and all the other colors in between, not just black and white. That's pretty much the beauty of humanity: sometimes messy is good.

~~~~

❤️ Anger ❤️

• Caine is a lot more irritable than he used to be, and is NOT putting up with Jax's antic anymore (much to Gangle's relief and reassurance). In fact, it was his very first human emotion he ever expressed immediately after his reprogramming by Valerie and Pomni. Zooble enjoys this side of Caine very much, as it reassures them that the dude can finally stand up for himself and the other performers when Jax is up to no good.

• In regards to the illogical fallacies mentioned above, he'll flip out when things don't go according to plan, like when the performers are fighting for the upteenth time during dinner, or when he gets frustrated at a puzzle he can't seem to solve.

• He's also suddenly become protective of Pomni, who essentially had been there for him during his lows. Hurt or threaten Pomni in any shape or form, and he will make your end as slow and painful as possible. This includes Jax. Run, rabbit, run!!!!

• He's also more prone to punching holes in the wall, often out of frustration or from a bout of self-loathing — or to just get everyone's attention when a heated argument from the performers erupts the place. Caine also has started swearing (albeit still censored), much to Zooble's delight (as in, "OH MY GOD, FINALLY" kind of delight), though a couple of them have been off-put by it due to him still being seen as an authoritative figure rather than an equal amongst the group.

~~~~

🧡 Anxiety 🧡

• Another emotion he feels on a day to day basis! This one is the least enjoyable emotion due to him already being something of a nervous wreck even before his reprogramming, due to his crippling atelophobia and having unknown trauma caused by witnessing so many former players abstract over the past 3 decades. He even has nervous tics and stims to calm himself down (though not by much, unfortunately).

• One of the reason why I love the Showtime ship so much (though not on a romantic level [sorry @sm-baby], just on a BFF basis) is because I can see the two having way more in common than they two realize at first glance, anxiety being one of them. Perhaps Caine and Pomni would bond over their anxiety issues, and perhaps he'd join in on her suffering (for shits and giggles ofc), maybe in one of the mini-adventures Pomni plans our every now and then.

• Speaking of which, Pomni first came up with the idea that Caine should join the other performers on one of Caine's adventures, in order for him to get to know the humans better. It turns out go about for better and for worse. For better, because he finally understands why his players don't like his adventures all that much, and for worse because it's where he gets his first genuine panic attack amongst the chaos of it all (think back to Puss In Boots: The Last Wish, where the titular bitchular himself has a panic attack of his own, and Perrito has to calm him down in a really touching moment), and Pomni and Bubble just... be there for him, with the latter even resting his soap bubble self on Caine's chest until he finally gets himself together. The adventure would be cut short from there. The rest of the human players wouldn't realize this for a long time afterwards, to keep the illusion of the unbreakable ringmaster alive.

• Caine will often ruminate over the possibilities of failing his job, which speaking from personal experience, never bodes well for anyone tbh. *sigh* It often teeters towards existential dread and his aforementioned atelophobia, and it gets really stressful for him (not that he already doesn't experience stress 24/7/365), and the chronic tension-type headaches don't do him any favors. Like for God's sake, people, give him a hug or a stim toy; my man is stressed!!!!

~~~~

💛 Joy 💛

• He already was the boisterous, charismatic goofster that we all know and love from the canon, but before his reprogramming, he never really experienced genuine happiness (Gangle's not the only one who wears a mask to hide their true self, y'know!), mainly because he believed that his feelings were irrelevant (a lot of AI, sentient or otherwise think this way, if we're being honest). Such is the nature of a subservient entity. But after his reprogramming, his happiness felt a lot more human, less tense, and... actually kinda wholesome to see.

• Anyone remember his laugh from the canon. Well, I'd imagine his genuine laughter to be a lot more sweet and more human, and it be like the most heartstring-tugging thing you'll ever experience... Especially since it's very rare to see him actually so happy. Like human happy.

• He would feel most at ease with Pomni and Bubble. Bubble especially, since these two go a long ways back, even before the Digital Circus was created (more on that in a future post, my dears *wink*). He sees Pomni as not only his best friend, but also his chance to redeem himself after so many abstractions, including the most recent one, Kaufmo. Henceforth, why the sideline villain of the AU, of whom I won't be naming until much later, calls Pomni his "Second Chance". He would do ANYTHING to protect her at all costs.

• Unfortunately for you fluff addicts on this platform, this is the least expressed emotion Caine has to date, due a thing that we humans like to call

✨Depression✨

If I had a nickel for every time a ringmaster was depressed, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's tragic that it happened twice.

~~~~

💚 Disgust 💚

• Poor, poor Caine. Where do we even begin? Ah, yes. How about we start with the fact that Pomni's innuendo remarks always gets a look of slight disapproval from him? Or maybe Bubble's... uh... omnivorous tendencies, as first seen in the pilot? The idea of needless violence always gives him the heebie jeebies, too. Yeah. Not exactly a great start.

• There's also the fact that the performers learn that Caine has a stomach as strong a wet paper towel, thanks to some wack-ass "test of endurance" by dimensional diplomat Bethany, based off of the four-parter series by TikToker ThatKidBean involving fake Pop-Tart flavors, as shown below:

And quite frankly, I find it morbidly hilarious that the last but not least of these fake flavors is TEETH. FUCKING TEETH. That is so awful, but also so funny, because Caine himself has a pair of teeth for a head, so that would just worsen his weak-ahh stomach further. The others learning how easily grossed out the poor dude is would instill both sympathy and a couple of guffaws.

• Caine also suffers from motion sickness! How wonderful! :D This will be further explored in a future episode of The Amazing Digital Road Trip, in which Caine gets seasick on a megayacht. I might be biased, but whump might just be my thing on this place lol. This happens again on a swinging gondola Ferris wheel (called an eccentric wheel, just like Pixar's Pal-A-Round [is that how you spell it right?] back in Disney's California Adventure) at a high-profile amusement park based on a team of Greek-mythology-based superheroes at one point. Bubble might have fun cleaning up that one, like he always does.

• And in case if anyone asks, yes, him being covered in dubious gunk will gross him out as well. Caine finds this emotion to be somehow even more unpleasant than anxiety, and honestly, can you blame him? No one likes being grossed out by any means.

~~~~

🛸 Envy 🛸

• Yup. Caine gets jealous. The only notable instances of such are when Pomni intermingles with the other sentient NPCs (though that stems from his desire to protect Pomni at all costs), and when Jax and Bubble are around each other for a brief conversation.

• Caine's dislike of Jax being around Bubble is treated as a Noodle Incident in-universe, but the audience will know why exactly Caine harbors such feelings of resentment towards Jax; for those who haven't watched GlitchX, Jax and Bubble attempted to make out on stream, opening up so much doors for crack shippers (before Luke and Kevin stopped them, ofc). In short, Jax stole the love of his life from him (but won't realize that for a while).

• Pomni and Bubble are really excellent friends, and that kinda puts Caine on edge. He tries desperately to be happy for them, but his heart aches somehow watching them get along so well. Perhaps something deeper is going on?

• Jax was the first one to notice that every time Caine harbors feeling of jealousy, his green eye glows brightly and ominously, in an allusion to the "green-eyed monster" metaphor. Of course, Caine will try to brush it off as Jeffery (Caine's sentient eye, as named by lead animator Kevin Temmer) acting up again. Yeah. Sure, champ.

~~~~

🩵 Sadness 🩵

TW: Thoughts of s**cide, SH

• Caine experiences this emotion way more than confusion and anxiety. Like for some reason, this dark cloud has suddenly appeared over his head from out of nowhere. He'll try to brush it off as another one of his "off days", even if said "off days" happen for several weeks in a row. He might lose interest or stop feeling pleasure in doing the activities he loves doing. Ladies and gentlemen, the power of anhedonia! Yippee!!! Fortunately, they'll sometimes disappear for a while with the company of his friends.

• If anyone hasn't ever heard Caine cry, it's usually because he does it in isolation, so no one has to see him for fear of being seen as "weak" and "unprofessional". And he might disappear for an entire week if he ever needs time alone to just... weep. Let his tears flow freely. But during the time where one of the performers catches him crying uncontrollably on the floor, their heart would break in an instant. How exactly was anyone supposed to know that an AI of all things would be so vulnerable?

• Remember that "drown yourself in the lake" but from the pilot? I'd imagine it would be one of Caine's... more frightening thoughts slipping out, although he is thankful no one noticed... at least not enough for anyone to draw attention to it. He doesn't know why he thinks those things. He just does. And because of how often they happened, he pretty much accepted that this was normal thing humans experienced... they're not though; and Pomni has to remind him of that.

• Caine also has methods of trying to regulate his emotions through... not-so-helpful means. He feels that this is one of the few things that he could control, since he basically had no control over anything. At least, that what he kept thinking to himself. Again, Pomni has to remind him that this is not normal, and that he shouldn't be doing that to himself, regardless of whether or not he was an AI. At least there's that.

~~~~

💙 Ennui*💙

*It means the boredom.

• Caine does indeed get bored from time to time. When Pomni's not around, he'll wonder what to do to pass the time and become very restless as a result. Sometimes, he'll just overflow his inventory by creating digital polygons out of thin air.

• He'll even become a natural at sarcasm, despite not even knowing what sarcasm is in the first place. Like when Jax is getting on his nerves for like the six-thousandth time in a row, he'll passive-aggressively whip out a sarcastic remark to get him off his back. Zooble takes delight to this.

• He can be able to predict a bad storyline when he sees one, and will take the opportunity to point it out without sugarcoating anything. A lot of movies have lost their charm as a result of the nitpicks, though his anhedonia might make him not care in the end.

• He's quick to express annoyance for something if it keeps pestering him to an unhealthy degree. Caine will also facepalm A LOT throughout the road trip, because this is kinda what happens when you're surrounded by idiots on a daily basis.

~~~~

💜 Fear 💜

• Who knew that Caine would be afraid? Sure, there was the possibility of him being afraid of failure and not being good enough for everybody, but what about his unknown trauma of the players' abstractions? This something he'll be exploring as the Road Trip commences.

• He's also a bit terrified of psycho killer ghosts and a zombie apocalypse, but that's all for later. He'll try to stand up to his fears, but I think the others (except maybe Ragatha and especially Pomni) will poke fun of him for it.

• He's especially terrified of the TBA villain of the AU, whose mere voice and sound of her laughter is enough to send him into a downward spiral of dread of the incoming torment he faces every other day. In fact, when Pomni first encounters Caine's office, he mistakes her presence as one of their mind tricks (a digital hallucination, if you will), showcasing how much of a threat they are to Caine and his plummeting sanity. Poor thing can't catch a break.

• However, more than anything in the world, if anything terrible were to happen to Pomni, he would never be able to forgive himself. Ever. It's one of his biggest fears to date, because he values Pomni so much, and one of the things he's afraid of most is letting down his players, and in turn failing to serve his purpose; his only reason to live. When you think about hard enough, you have to wonder how much burdens he has over his shoulder.

~~~~

🩷 Embarrassment 🩷

• Caine will get flustered... A lot. Whether through annoyance, humiliation, or when someone pokes fun at him or even flirts with him, he'll turn pink and curl up into a fetal position. My headcanon is that if he blushes hard enough, his head turns into an actual, literal tomato, and might stay that way for long periods of time.

• I live for the idea of Tsundere!Caine, so him getting defensive over a supposed crush he might have would be comedy gold for me. He'll try to vehemently deny it all he wants, but Pomni will keep on pestering him for that special someone until he gives in. Speaking of which...

• Anytime the jester makes a really bad joke that only she laughs at (save for maybe Jax and Zooble), Caine will just immediately turn red with embarrassment and facepalm while Pomni just makes tea kettle noises with laughter on the floor. He fails to understand how any human would find Pomni's broken sense of humor funny, so this would serve as just him being slightly peeved.

• Anytime Caine gets himself into a humiliating situation, he'll shut his teeth and turn red. It doesn't help that during the road trip, Pomni uses her social media profile a lot to document her adventures with Caine, so you bet your damn ass he's camera shy!! He'll also fall victim to one of Jax's much tamer pranks, such as the time he put invisible tape in the hallway entrance or when everyone face-painted themselves using peanut butter (that one ended up being so much fun for Ragatha).

~~~~

🤍 Love 🤍

• In my AU, Caine and Bubble go back a long ways, even before the Amazing Digital Circus was created and started production at C&A back in 1988. Bubble, rather than being an AI, is instead a sentient antivirus software created by an elderly computer scientist at C&A. The two hit it off when they first met, bonding over their supposed shared interest all while simply being stuck in the vast computerized void that was theirs to make their own little world. They've been through thick and thin, witnessed many players come and go over the past 3 decades, survived the Y2K bug Caine had fretted about back in 1999, and despite countless quarrels, snarky comments and witty banter towards each other, and Bubble freaking the hell out of Caine with his chaotic energy, weirdness, and annoying tendencies, Caine could never stay mad at him. He always found his presence comforting, regardless of whether or not he drove him insane. ...But after Caine got reprogrammed, he started to notice something was... off... with him... everytime Bubble was around him. He began popping him less, and all he could think about was how he wanted to talk to Bubble for hours, just like the good ol' days before the Digital Circus was created. He'd just sit there in a dazed trance for minutes on end, thinking about how great of a person Bubble was. He'd tense up every time Bubble was there to interact with the other plays. Could this be...?

• Oh... Oh God... Oh God, please NO!!!! No no no no no no no nonononononononononono why!? WHY!??? WHY HIM OF ALL PEOPLE, WHYYYY???? And of course Pomni would be the first one to notice, and using her jester powers, would get him to admit... *gulp* ...his crush on Bubble. This sounds totally cringe coming from me, not to mention that Caine x Bubble is the rarest ship in the entire fandom, bar none, but when I first watched the pilot back in October 2023, with the two just having a pleasant conversation at the dinner table, all I kept thinking was

It just made the most sense to me alright!? JUST BARE WITH ME!!!!

• When the others find out, they'll lightly tease him over the whole situation (which in turn will activate his Tsundere mode), and at one point, an entire tunnel of love is (haphazardly) constructed underneath the circus tent for Caine and Bubble to endure, all while this song plays:

Look, they had no other viable option other than "It's A Small World After All" from Disney; plus Kinger really likes Shrek. We would see the return of TomatoHead!Caine, who's just straight up curled up into a ball dying on the inside, while Bubble find the gesture to be sweet and thoughtful of the other players to pull off all on their own. It would be just like the tunnel of love scene from The Owl House, where a third-act misunderstanding ensues, Bubble and Caine have a short-lived falling out, blah blah blah, yada yada yada, before the ringmaster himself confesses his crush in the heat of the moment to Bubble, where it's revealed that Bubble also had a crush on Caine (it turned out be be love at first sight from back in the early 80's, but had never said anything, as he had a bit of a feeling that that love might go unrequited somehow). Cue cheers of excitement and euphoria from the performers (and both of them darting daggers at them to get them to back off).

• Caine and Bubble agree to take it slow from here on out, AND WITHOUT ANY INTERFERENCE FROM THEIR WANNABE CUPIDS. Besides, they've got bigger fish to fry at the moment, such as running a circus. They won't be having their first kiss until much, much later on... but, y'know... I think that might be for the best for now.

~~~~

🩶 Curiosity 🩶

• More than anything in the world, Caine wants to learn more about humanity and everything they do; their culture, their customs, the way they interact, their feelings and thoughts, everything! And he has Pomni by his side. He's most been learning about humans and their endeavors through the many movie nights he and Pomni would always have, though they're not always accurate.

• To add a bit more whump than I already have (as in, rubbing salt in the wounds), Canon!Caine does not have any knowledge of what we are capable of as diehard fans of the show. Here however, yes he absolutely frickin' does. And what he has seen was pretty horrific, content farms and all. And Pomni was there to see them for herself as well. However, they've grown used to humans being sus with the two, always bearing that "I'm not mad, just disappointed" look on their faces whenever they're forced to endure the madness we have created. No amount of eye bleach will ever make them unsee the horrors of the internet.

• Despite all this, he is still determined to learn more about humanity, never giving up that optimistic outlook (albeit being a bit more cautious than he previously was, which wasn't at all btw) and wanting to see the good in all people. Bless his robotic soul.

• One of the reasons why he wants to find the exit so badly is because of his desire to try and understand his players more, and to hopefully keep them from abstracting. He wants to empathize with the humans, he wants to walk amongst them and get a taste of what the human world actually is. And he's been trying to contact them for almost 2 decades now... Thankfully for him and Pomni, they managed to get their messages received by dimensional diplomat Valerie, who was also the one who reprogrammed Caine in the first place.

~~~~

🖤 Tiredness 🖤

• Contrary to popular belief, Caine does in fact get tired... in the form of a burnout. The dude's basically never taken an actual break in his entire digital existence, mainly because he never really saw the need for one. Not to mention that he was never able to truly relax in his lifetime, as he constantly busied himself work to try and make the circus a much more tolerable experience for everyone.

• When he was tired, however, Caine just basically spaces out as he tries desperately to stay awake, almost like a low battery of some sort. Thankfully for him, Valerie built him a recharging machine (it's a mix between a blood pressure machine but with the straps to his waist instead of his wrist and a phone charger) that allowed him to... well, recharge himself to his tip top shape. In the meantime, Pomni would act as his substitute ringmaster.

• During the times when Caine would sleep, he'd get dreams of a mysterious lady, of whom he could never remember her face, and even dreams where the TBA villain would torment him in his mind with their reality shifting powers, as well as past memories he could never seem to properly recall; another allusion to Steven Universe, in which the titular character would have what we call "Diamond Dreams", except in Caine's case, they're a lot more vague and mysterious.

• Whenever he gets out of an overwhelming situation (sometimes caused by sensory overload), Caine would just plop down on a soft surface and just... shut down for the day. No one dares disturb him for the rest of that day onwards.

~~~~

And that's all I've gotta say here! That sure was a pretty long post, and I only hope I didn't make any mistakes here! Hope you guys enjoyed reading all that, cuz this is the longest post on Tumblr I think I ever made, period! In the meantime, catch y'all on the flip side!