#((which is that both sides are simply trying to make a place for themselves and neither side's existence invalidates or harms the other))

[ilikeyoshi]

hardest thing about Controversies is you'll almost always have two sides, each full of reasonable people with compelling and frankly not even conflicting opinions—but most of what each side knows about the other is their insane subset of totally deranged idiots who want to burn everything indiscriminately.

[prokopetz]

In recent posts I've complained that a lot of tabletop RPGs which toss around the term "fiction first" don't actually understand what it means, and I've been asked to expand on that complaint. So:

In my experience, there are two ways that game texts which want to position themselves as "fiction first" trip themselves up, one obvious and one subtle.

The first and more obvious pitfall is treating "fiction first" as an abstract ideology. They're using "fiction first" as a synonym for "story over rules" in a way that calls back to the role-playing-versus-roll-playing discourse of the early 2000s. The trouble is, now as then, nobody can usefully explain what "story over rules" actually entails. At best, they land on a definition of "fiction first" that talks about the GM's right to ignore the rules to better serve the story, which is no kind of definition at all – it's just putting a funny hat on the Rule Zero fallacy and trying to pass it off as some sort of totalising ideology of play.

A more useful way of defining "fiction first" play is to think of it not in terms of whether you engage with the rules at all, but in terms of when they're invoked: specifically, as a question of order of operations.

Suppose, for example, that you're playing Dungeons & Dragons, and you pick up the dice and say "I attack the dragon". Some critics would claim that no actual narrative has been established – that this is simply a bare invocation of game mechanics – but in fact we can infer a great deal: your character is going to approach the dragon, navigating any inclement terrain which lies between them, and attempt to kill the dragon using the weapon they're holding in their hand. The rules are so tightly bound to a particular set of narrative circumstances that simply invoking those rules lets us work backwards to determine what the context and stakes must be for that invocation of the rules to be sensical; this, broadly speaking, is what "rules first" looks like.

Conversely, let's say that your game of Dungeons & Dragons has confronted you with a pit blocking your path, and you want to make an Athletics check to cross it. At this point the GM is probably going to stop you and say, hold up, tell us what that looks like. Are you trying to jump across it? Are you trying to climb down one wall of the pit and up the other? Are you trying to tie a rope to the halfling and toss them to the other side? In other words, before you can pick up the dice, you need to have a little sidebar with the GM to hash out what the narrative context is, and to negotiate what can be achieved and what's at stake if you mess it up; this, broadly, is what "fiction first" looks like.

At this point I know some people are thinking "wait, hold on – both of those examples were from Dungeons & Dragons; are you saying that Dungeons & Dragons is both a rules-first game and a fiction-first game?" And yeah, I am. That's the second, more subtle place where game texts that talk about "fiction first" go astray: they talk about it as though being "fiction first" or "rules first" is something which is inherent to game systems as a whole.

This is not in fact true: being "fiction first" or "rules first" is something which describes particular invocations of the rules. In practice, only very simple games spend all of their time in one mode or the other; most will switch back and forth at need. Generally, most "traditional" RPGs (i.e., the direct descendants of Dungeons & Dragons and its various imitators) tend to operate in rules-first mode in combat and fiction-first mode out of it, though this is a simplification – when and how such mode-switching occurs can be quite complex.

Like any other design pattern, "fiction first" mechanics are a tool that's well suited for some jobs, and ill suited for others. Sometimes your rules are fine-grained enough that having an explicit negotiation and stakes-setting phase would just be adding extra steps. Sometimes you're using the outputs of the rules a narrative prompt, and having to pin the context down ahead of time would defeat the purpose. Fortunately, you don't have to commit yourself to one approach or the other; as long as your text is clear about how you're assuming a given set of rules toys will be used, you can switch modes as need dictates. However, you're not going to be capable of that kind of transparency if you're thinking in terms of "this a Fiction First™ game".

(Incidentally, this is why it can be hard to talk about "fiction first" with OSR fans if you're being dogmatic about fiction-first framing being an immutable feature of particular games. Since traditional RPGs tend to observe the above-described rules-first-in-combat, fiction-first-out-of-combat division, and OSR games tend to treat actually getting into a fight as a strategic failure state, a lot of OSR games spend most of their time in fiction-first mode. If you go up to an OSR fan and insist that D&D-style games can never be fiction-first, then attempt to define "fiction first" for them and proceed to describe how they usually play, they'll quite justifiably conclude that you have your head up your ass!)

[bitchimasnake-sss]

I need a part 2 to ‘meddle about’😩 I loveee your writing

i was literally about to go sleep rn but made a conscious decision to ignore the needs of my body to write horny filth <3

☆ into you!

part 02 to meddle about! // in which the younger itoshi loses all inhibitions. //

synopsis: who knew being involved with itoshi rin would be such a headache? now, about 10,000 km away from home, you realize that you're stuck with him in barcelona. as distances between you two grow greater, the only thing that brings you closer is an... aphrodisiac?! pairing: afab!reader x itoshi rin [aged up.] wc: 5.5k cw: NOT PROOFREAD. WRITTEN CAUSE I LOVE DESPERATE MEN. MDNI. includes: A LOTTT OF PLOTTT!! dom-ish!reader x bottom!rin. one-room only trope (hehehehehhe), aphrodisiac, guided handjob, praise (m!receiving), overstimulation (m!receiving), rin cries so, i guess dacryphilia(?). they're both gonna piss you off and you're gonna love it. guess starring: rin's COMMUNICATION ISSUES 🗣️🔊 m.list

it took you exactly 45 mins sitting next to rin itoshi in a closed-off airplane to decide that either he was the dumbest man alive or he needed a guided lesson to understand social cues. or maybe, just maybe, he was such an entitled prick that he could just simply ignore a fuming woman next to him for forty-five minutes straight without as much as a worry-line on his pristine forehead.

you had huffed and huffed, and then huffed some more by the time rin finally asked you a question. the question? "are you cold or something?"

"no?" your eyebrows bunched at his question. could he not see the blanket you had draped over your lap as you had cozied in the seat he had paid for?

"then why are you making so much noise?"

"oh?" you scoffed, "if it is this hard to be seated next to me, then please get off on the next layover and catch a flight back home."

his answer came before you could even finish, "no, i'm good."

and then again, the cycle of silence repeated itself by dragging itself along it's sickening pattern. rin flipped through a magazine, locked in as if there was nothing more enticing to him than the history of airplanes and their mechanism, all while you fumed in your seat.

it's not like you wanted to talk to rin itoshi or something!

it's just the principle of the situation that pissed you off beyond belief! here you two were, sitting next to each-other in a metal contraception that was hovering several hundred feet above ground to land you in another continent — a process that was going to take several hours. there was absolute silence — most people dozing off, reading or watching a movie by themselves while enjoying the finer things in life like champagne and caviar.

if there was any place in earth to sort out miscommunications, then this was probably the top of that list! and yet, that raven-haired man lost himself in the world of airplane mechanics. like, what even?!

again, it's not like you wanted rin itoshi to apologize to you or something!

it's just shouldn't he atleast bother after trying so hard that day? i mean, it's not like you missed the way his hands felt or the expensive, well-curated fragrance of his car whenever he picked you up or dropped you, or whatever lopsided, half-baked smile he gave you every once in a while. no, it was the principle of the situation that was bothering you!

you sighed and rin gave you a side-eye without even turning an inch to face you. he cleared his throat, another question at the tip of his stupid — albeit, very skilled — tongue, "do you want to drink?"

"no." you spit out, almost impressed at how good he was at being wrong, "obviously not." actually, right now, with a headache next to you, some wine sounded delightful. "actually— i mean, wine sounds nice."

rin pushed the button to call the airstaff and you let go of any of your restraints. you turned towards him, body leaning into his physical space as if you needed to examine him up-close for brain damage, "do you really not know what's bothering me?"

"no." rin admitted seriously and your eyebrows furrowed at how sincere he sounded. you repeated, "you don't?"

he shrugged and you found yourself muttering, "seriously? you don't?"

"no," he turned his face to look at you and deadpanned, "either tell me what's wrong or shut up and go to sleep."

the audacity! here you were trying to communicate with him while he thought you should 'go to sleep'??? he should go to hell!

"fine." you clenched you jaw, turning around to wait for your wine in peace. under your breath, you muttered, "sae would probably never act like this."

"what was that?"

you turned to the pro-player, eyes narrowed and tongue venomous, "i cannot wait to see sae play in real life."

"thanks to me, yes." rin shrugged, "and his play isn't that impressive. the media just happens to make any lukewarm bullshit look good on tele."

"th-thanks to you?!" you spluttered, still not moving on from the first half of his statement, "i'm sorry but did i not refuse to come and you begged me—"

"—beg is a strong word."

"you begged me to come, rin itoshi." you bit back and rin turned to you with his own eyes narrowed, "i didn't beg you, i just didn't want you to think i took advantage of you."

"you literally, literally left me laying on the couch while you ran off to the bathroom for god-knows-what reasons!" you ranted, leaning in till your noses were inches apart and you two were all up in each other's business, "and then, next morning you left me all alone in your stupid penthouse—"

"i left you a text and food?" now it was rin's turn to act confuse. he inched forward daringly and the tips of your noses collided. eyes against yours in a heated dance, he hissed, "and i drew you a bath which you never even took."

"hah?" you scoffed, not pulling back lest he thinks he has won the competition against you, "that explains leaving me after we were done?"

"i rushed to the bathroom bec—" and then for the first time in his adult life, rin itoshi froze. because, tell me, how in god's name was he supposed to admit that just one look at your flushed, post-orgasm face had him spilling into his sweats as if puberty had hit him yesterday? just one split-second look away from your pretty pussy to your ruined face was enough for his to lose all physical restraint over his well-trained body? how could he let you see that, or even hear about it? it was embarrassing. worse, it was ego-threatening.

how was rin itoshi supposed to admit that he couldn't help but feel all types of things whenever you were around?

so, instead, he bit his tongue and made up an excuse — a bad one, but an excuse nonetheless, "i rushed because i remembered something."

"in the bathroom?" you repeated slowly and he nodded, hoping that the warmth of his cheeks wasn't on display.

"i— remembered that i needed to take a shower."

"immediately afterwards?"

"yes, sweat makes me feel gross." he nodded again, averting his gaze from you, "it's just one of those things."

"oh my god, you're such a fucking prick!" now, maybe those aren't the words you should be saying to the man who was paying for your flight to see your favourite player but he did just admit that he left you alone to take a stupid shower.

you two were only interrupted by the air-hostess bringing you a much-needed glass of wine. for the next nine hours till your next layover, you didn't even bother glancing at rin itoshi's stupid face.

but as you sat in silence, you realized that the upcoming days were going to be nice, atleast. you had planned an entire cozy itinerary without rin itoshi to meddle in your business, infact. the plan was simple: were going to land the next evening, and would probably stay-in that night to recover from the jet lag. the next morning you planned to visit some local areas, cafes, and such. and the third day was sae's match. then, you'd catch the flight home! fun!

so, you took in a deep breath, reminding yourself that it was only a matter of hours before you could get rid of rin. until then, all you had to do was ignore him. correct!

it was only after you had landed in barcelona that you interacted with rin — not too much though, only to thank him for the tickets and to avail you a taxi since he claimed he knew enough spanish to get around.

"what?" the pro-player cocked an eyebrow, dialing some number on his phone, "we're going to the hotel together, why do you need another taxi?"

"you paid for my hotel room?" your eyes widened, your grip on reality seemingly slipping as you realized that rin itoshi probably wouldn't book some cheap, 3rd-class hotel.

"yes?" he answered just as nonchalantly before answering the phone and sprouting out some spanish.

and there go your cozy vacation plans down the drain!

"you—" you were tongue-tied, so catastrophically shocked that you weren't even sure of what was happening and what wasn't, "why would you do that?!"

"well?" rin covered his phone half-heartedly, looking at you as if you were the one who had gone mad, "did you think i would just bring you here and leave you as it is?"

you stepped closer to him, voice hushed so as to not cause a scene at the airport, "i don't need more favours that you. i told you that."

"don't worry." rin muted the call with a quick swipe, "i am not gonna ask for any favours in return. this one's on me..." you almost missed the next few words, "cause i've been a prick lately."

you're not quite sure how it happened or why, but here you stood at the reception of a seven-star hotel while rin held a heated discussion with the staff in a foreign language.

many minutes passed by, following which the pro-player finally came walking back to you. his face fell, "they're saying they only have one room free."

"what?"

"i swear i booked two. i'm not playing around with you." you heard a mild panic in his otherwise cool tone and you held a palm up, "it's good — a sign from the universe! i should probably go, anyways. i'll find an accommadati—"

"no." rin was fierce. his face dipped lower, hot breath fanning across your face as he repeated, "you're not doing anything stupid like that. if anyone has to go, i will. you stay here."

"rin." you tried to argue but the receptionist called rin back for some reason. the next time rin came back to you, he was sickeningly pale.

"what did they say? someone has to go, right. i will—"

"—uh," the man looked at the polished marble underneath, his lower lashes so prominent as he closed his eyes, "they actually, kinda upgraded us to a honeymoon suite."

huh? honestly, this wasn't the weirdest thing that had happened to you this month. what's next? you're gonna go to the room and find a stack of condoms and a invitation for you two to fuc—

"—k me." you spoke aloud as soon as you entered the room. not only was it thrice the size of your studio apartment, and had a private pool in the balcony, but on the bed lay a stack of condoms, chocolates, cliche rose petals and an classy envelope with MR. AND MRS. ITOSHI printed on it.

rin picked the card up, opened it up and immediately went beet-red. you wouldn't be surprised if the card read "have a good time fucking!"

"i- i'll take the couch." rin stuffed the card deep into the pocket of his pants, ignoring the climbing warmth that painted his pale face uncharacteristically scarlet, "you take the bed."

"don't be ridiculous. i'm not taking the bed."

"there's no point arguing." he averted his gaze skillfully, hoping that the pink dusting his cheeks was not visible to you, "i... i'll take the couch. meanwhile, you can go wash up."

well, to be fair even the couches here looked better than your home couch but again, it was about the principle of the situation!

barcelona, day 01. evening.

truly, there was no point arguing with the rin itoshi because now, here you were ten minutes later, clearing the bed and throwing the chocolates and flavoured condoms in the side-drawer, never to be used by you two.

once done, you laid your clothes out and made your way to the shower. your footsteps were soft pitter-patters against the delicate rug and rin glanced back from the couch.

"shower?" he asked, and you nodded. at your curt answer, he pressed his lips into a thin line, "if you need something, call my name. i'll come."

you had slipped in the bathroom with nothing more than a soft nod to acknowledge him because... let's be real, why would you need him while showering? he could rest assured that there would no shenanigans happening on your end.

but now as the soft, luxurious soapsuds lapped against your skin so gently, the warm water of the tub slowly growing cold and leaving you devoid of any warmth in it's wake, you considered calling rin in.

closing your eyes, a dark, familiar curtain fell in front of your eyes and you tipped your head upwards. chewing on your bottom lip, you were divided whether the deal you and rin had once struck up still stood? and in that case, did you owe him something since he was responsible for your accommodation for the next three days here. but then again, he did act like a prick and maybe it was his way of making it up to you. but then again, he didn't act as much of a prick to repent by keeping you in a fucking seven-star residence.

you brought your hands over your face, the skin growing colder ever so slowly under the cruel stretch of time you were subjecting yourself to. then, some sort of peace washed over you. you dragged your hands down your skin, looking at the wooden door to the bathroom.

something clicked.

maybe, maybe this decision wasn't for you to take? maybe rin itoshi was the one who was supposed to decide if he wanted you or not?

"rin!" you called out, finally.

the doorknob turned almost immediately and you half-heartedly wondered if he had been standing at the edge, waiting for the echo of his name past your lips. of course not. but it was fun to imagine that rin itoshi wanted you so desperately.

on the other side, rin had been standing at the doorstep, listening to the soft cascades and waves of water as you took your sweet time in there. okay, maybe it was a bit pathetic for a pro-player like him to stand at the edge of a door waiting to be summoned but it's not like you'd ever know, right? right?

but as soon as he heard the shout of his name, his fingers found the cold metal and he stepped inside — and there you were. you had drawn up a flimsy towel to cover up your soaking body, soapsuds still clinging helplessly onto your legs as you stood at the edge of the humongous bathtub.

"ye-yeah?" rin commanded his attention to focus on the bathtub and not you. because if he looked at your soaked skin and hair, your perked buds against the soft fabric of the towel and the slightly rosy tint of your cheeks — rin was convinced he would either go insane from the idea or never having you again or do something that'll break the promise of being strangers.

"i, uh—" your gaze ran it's course from him to the vacant bathtub. a lone sweat droplet traveled down the ridge of your spine and you blamed the hotness of the enclosed bathroom for it. voice unsure, you asked, "i wanted to heat the water up. it got cold, so..."

"uhm," rin swallowed, brushing past you to look at the array of smaller buttons at the edge of the bathtub.

"this one." he pointed to a button which had hot written on it. "just press it till the temperature is to your liking."

"oh?" you leaned in, staring at the button next to him, "right." a nervous laugh rang out in that closed, hot room, "i don-don't know how in the world did i miss that."

rin turned around, avoiding to look at you, "s'okay."

you were so close that he could smell the fragrance of the expensive bath gel on your skin. the smell went straight to his head, intoxicating him and making him stutter in his usually confident demeanor. he wondered if he reached out and played with the wet strands of your hair, will you push his hand back or slap him?

but rin itoshi wasn't looking for the answer to that question, so he just asked, "anything else?"

you shook your head with a soft no.

"okay, then." rin took hurried step towards the door, never once looking back to you, "and hurry up, i- uh, i gotta wash up too."

"o-okay?"

he shut the door behind him with a surprisingly loud thud! and now, you stood in the previously occupied bathroom with a confirmed answer: rin itoshi did not want you. like... at all.

that's what his cold demeanor had told you, atleast. he had not even bothered to give you a look that lasted more than a spilt-second and then promptly left as soon as he felt it fitting. you sunk back into the cold water, half-annoyed at yourself for calling him and half-annoyed at him for being so fucking closed-off.

for the rest of the day, you both had minimal contact. he didn't bother you with questions, and you didn't annoy him with answers. rin was busy on his laptop, attending team meetings and answering sponsors about his sudden getaway to spain while you just sat on the bed, doomscrolling the rest of the evening away. somehow, within your silences, you both had found a comfortable pattern to just be.

that was until dinner.

"you're not going to bed?" you tried to ask, patting the pillows to fluff them up to your liking.

"no," rin didn't bother looking back from where he sat on the couch. a glass of wine pinched between his fingers, a monotonous expression on his pretty face, "i have some work to finish up. are you? going to sleep... i mean?"

"yeah." you nodded and a silence fell across the room. within the thick fog of silence, you could almost tell apart the strumming of your own heart. moments turned eternal and you held your bated breath for some kind of acknowledgement from him. when none came, you spoke up again, "are you sure you'd be okay on the couch?"

"mhm. don't worry."

"okay then," you pursed your lips, laying down on the godawfully soft mattress, "see you tomorrow... goodnight."

"g'night." he finally breathed out and you're not quite sure when exactly you fell asleep on the silken sheets, but you were awoken by the sound of someone showering once the sky was bright and clear.

barcelona, day 02.

rin didn't say anything to you as he walked out of the shower with his hair wet, nor did you say anything to him as you got ready for a day of tourist activities. he told you he was gonna stay in, said he had sponsor meetings and you bid him goodbye as you went out to see the place around. the day passed by in a blur of tourist activities and kind strangers, away from rin itoshi.

when you came back, he didn't ask you formal questions about how your day was, and you didn't tell him polite answers. you two stayed stuck in your cycle of silence. that was all.

that was all until it was far too late into the night, at least.

you stepped out of the shower, far gone to care about his presence in the room. it was clear that he held no desire for you, so you waltzing out of steaming shower with nothing but a robe was probably child's play to him.

hair wet, face flushed, you found your gaze drifting to the couch only to notice the absence of rin. eyebrows marrying, your gaze scanned the entire room carefully — from the empty couch to the dark balcony to finally, the least probable place: your bed.

and surprisingly, that's where you found him; face flushed, palms sweaty and limbs shaking as he met your eyes. what?

"rin?" instinct took ahold of you, steps rushing to reach the man who looked clearly unwell. you brought a steady palm up to his forehead, checking his temperature. your eyes locked against his dilated ones, words shivering under the intensity, "d-did something happen?"

"i—" rin almost gasped as you put your palm on his neck next to check for the temperature. voice growing gruff, he looked away, "'m fine. i jus' kinda feel— i feel weird."

"weird?" your brows bunched as you trailed a soft palm up to his cheek, and rin shivered under you. "weird how?"

"i dunno." his voice seemed to turn hoarser, as if it had gotten harder to speak with each wayward touch you planted across his scorching skin, "i- i ate their stupid chocolates and—"

"—what?"

"the ones you put in the..." he pointed to the side-table, "there."

you rushed to the side-table, clumsy fingers pulling out the heart-shaped chocolates only to turn them around to read if they said something. and oh boy, was there something they said. aphro—

"—odisiac." you breathed out the word, shaky vision travelling back to the pro-player who seemed to grow tenser and tenser with each passing second.

"rin," you called out carefully, taking a step towards him, "how many of these did you have?"

"th-ree, no, four."

"seriously?!" your voice squeaked, body turning towards him fully to take notice of the sweat beading at his forehead, the sheen plastered across the bridge of his nose and the apples of his cheek, his labored breathing.

he pulled at the collar of his t-shirt, trying desperately to dissipate the heat that his body seemed to torture him with "i feel hot, and—" rubbing his palms down against his sweats, he looked up at you, utterly helpless. "—what's happening to me? i- don't—"

"it's okay, it's okay." you cut him off, "take off your shirt."

rin followed your command blindly. nimble fingers pinched the ends of his t-shirt only to pull it off himself as fast as he could. underneath the material, his chest was flushed red to match his face.

"d-does it feel any better?" and rin groaned at your stupid question, "no."

the man shifted his pelvis, trying to pull at the waistband of his sweats when your gaze finally traveled to the tent in his pants. he looked pained, eyes frenzied and breath stuttering as he tried to figure out a position where his aching dick didn't drive him insane.

you stepped closer, and closer, and closer till you were standing a mere inches away from him. a finger under his sharp jaw, you pulled his face upwards to meet yours. a slow breath, "rin."

and he almost whimpered at the way you held him still, "y-yeah?"

"let me help."

at his feverish nods, you sunk to your knees. practiced hands tugged at his waistband and he complied all-too-excitedly to lift his hips up and free his cock of this endless torture.

his muscles visibly relaxed at your slow breathing against his heated tip — reddened, it oozed pre out that cascaded down his shaft. rin threw his head back, wet hair sticking to his nape as you placed a carefully calculated kiss to the tip. your tongue carefully pressed against his slit as you sucked on the tip and rin all but combusted.

"a-ah," his deep voice pitched up, hips squirming as you toyed with him, "fuck, fuck fuuhck—"

your hand pulled his towards his cock and he looked down at you, confused, "what..?"

your eyes stayed locked against him as you placed his own hand on the bottom half of his erection, hollowed cheeks still sucking on the tip. your hand encompassing his own, you guided him to slowly stroke himself as you kept toying with his flushed tip.

"fuck-ing god." rin breathed and for once, he didn't avert his gaze from you. your heated hold over his hand prompted him to pump himself faster. and although, his own touch was familiar, the way you looked up at him — all doe-eyes and sinful kisses — made his thighs shake.

"god—" his voice choked, head thrown back and eyes clenching shut in an effort to not cry at the way your tongue played against his silt, how your hand squeezed his, urging him, begging him to go on.

you let go of his tip only to pull his face downwards to look at you, "look at me. stop fuckin' running away."

and this time, a whimper did escape him at your words. lips wobbling, eyebrows bunched and lashline heavy with unresolved tears — rin itoshi was fuckin' beautiful as he stared down at you.

you pressed another kiss to the tip and his hand sped up under your command until— splash! his toes curled, body leaning back as his voice shook with desperate moans, and thick, white ribbons of cum painted his hand and your lips in a wretched pearlish glow.

rin huffed, eyes blown wide at the view of his essence on your lips and the way you seemed to pursue his taste with your tongue— cleaning him up so carefully that it made him hard all over again. shit.

a sudden strong hold on your arms pulled you upto him and his jittery fingers pulled at the belt of your robe to have you all to himself. as he tried to undo the knot with his shaky fingers, you raked a hand through his wet hair, travelling backwards till your palm was cradling the back of his head ever-so-softly.

and then, you pulled at the base of his strands and rin whined in response. the lewd sounds accompanied the driveling of his hips into the cold air, and with each strained rut, more of his cum oozed down his abused cock.

"fuck, rin." it was your turn to whimper, now. eyes blown and face heated, you looked between the man and his erect, throbbing, filthy cock. who knew rin itoshi could be so fucking messy?

eyes clenched, lips agape and breath stolen — rin itoshi was rendered useless and you pushed him backwards into the bed before disrobing yourself.

your naked body climbing over his, you pumped his overstimulated cock with a languid pace, using his own essence as a lubricant for his own undoing.

"fuck." his eyes stayed clenched, forehead drawn into lines as his body responded to each one of your endlessly torturous acts. he gasped as you kissed his neck, his jawline and then, his shoulder.

"you're doin' so well, rin." your voice was soft against his heated skin, and you kissed his jaw again, sucking slow enough for him to lose his mind. then, you repeated, "so fucking well."

and that seemed to be rin itoshi's kryptonite.

words pitched, moans obscene and muscles spasming under your touch, rin came again. and again, and again, and fucking again as you kept toying with him.

now, you're weren't sure if it were only a few minutes since he first came or hours, but as you tugged at his sensitive cock with the sensual drags of your palm, rin actually cried out.

"n-no more." more tears welled up in his eyes, cheeks so deeply flushed as he begged you, "p-please, i can't. i can't."

"you can, baby." you cooed, pressing your thighs together as his desperate pleas went straight to your throbbing cunt. ignoring your own swiveling desire, you pushed the man who once stood so tall to his limits.

"no, no." his hips jerked as you continued to drag your hands along his cock. teeth biting down into his bottom lips, tears fell down the plane of his face. clammy palms clenched and unclenched the silken sheets below as rin barely tried to stop his steady decline into deliriousness, "ple-please. i really can't."

"fine." you purred, hands coming to a slow halt against his heated erection, "i'll stop."

and just as you pulled your hands back to yourself, rin's wet eyes widened. despite his aching bones and jelly-like muscles, the man lunged forward to catch your wrist in his fingers.

"no," he breathed, eyes watering at the sudden lack of skin-on-skin contact. he repeated, this time with a bit of force in his voice, "no."

leaning forward, you caught his kissbitten lips against yours. cutting the kiss short, your words were soft against his, "you want it?"

and he nodded again, tongue rendered useless with how heavy it felt in his mouth. you drew a careful hand up his heated thighs, and he trembled under your touch, "say it out loud for me."

"yes." rin shook his head.

your lips trailed down to his jaw, featherlike kisses across his heated skin as your hand sped up yet again in that cruel, familiar pattern. his orgasm built like a crescendo, peaking higher and higher till he was shooting blanks.

when he was all spent out, rin itoshi shuddered and slumped against your arms. breath uneven, hair matted, skin sweaty, fiery and dusted pink as it made contact against your skin.

he looked up at you, half-lidded gaze still haunted by remnants of tears that clung onto his lashes. as if on instinct, you pressed a kiss to his forehead, soothing the searing skin under with your soft act. rin closed his eyes at the closeness, a gasp at the tip of his tongue because all of it felt so foreign.

he wasn't in control of his body — his trusty muscles felt lead-like, head hammering as if his brain would break-though his cranium, and heart thumping out a rhythm that sounded awfully like chants of your name. it was clear, rin itoshi didn't quite feel like himself as you cradled him so softly in your arms.

"you okay?" you asked far too softly, half worried that the wind will catch your words before it reached him. but to your surprise, rin nodded.

"i'll clean you up." you muttered, peripheral vision dragging along the sheets to see what a mess you two had made. his thighs and abs were painted white similarly to your hand, the fluid dripped down to the expensive sheets and stained them. you nodded with resolve, "rest up, i'll be done soon. yeah?"

a heavy croak stopped you. rin looked up at you, voice heavy and eyes watery as if one misstep and he would find himself losing control, "don't go."

maybe it was the finality in his voice that confused you, or the fact that he wanted you around. eitherways, you refuted with a soft shake of your head, "i- i really should, we've made a mes—"

"—don't go."

and so, you didn't. you let your body slump against the bedframe, scorched back against the cool wood and rin rested his cheek against your stomach, his arms pressed against your waist in an innocent hug. you raked your fingers through his sweaty hair before trailing them downwards to massage his nape and weary shoulders. his breath slowed down under your delicate touches and soon enough, he was asleep.

your hands stayed kneading at his muscles, gaze locked in at the man and the shallow rise and fall of his chest. with each soft inhale, the deep blush slowly eased away from his face, leaving behind the same stoic man you had known for a few weeks.

in this silence, you were starkly aware of two routes this relationship arrangement may go: 1) the most probable one: once the pro-player came to his senses, he will regret this — all that came before this, all that may come after this, you — and go no-contact. 2) the least probable one: he'd sit down and have a conversation with you, and then you both could figure out where things would go from here.

knowing rin itoshi though, you mentally prepared yourself for never seeing him again once this trip was over. it wouldn't be hard, obviously. how long did you even know the man? a few weeks, give or take. why would you mourn his presence when you never even quite had him?

you closed your eyes, fingers still softly playing with his tresses. you knew what was to come, knew that this was probably the end of him and you (or whatever it was between him and you), knew that him and you were just a series of favours for favours. and yet, your heart sank as you stared at his face for a moment too long.

rin itoshi was driving you insane!!

but however perceptive you may be, or however properly you think you knew rin — you miscalculated.

because neither did the man take the route of leaving you, nor did he talk things out with you. instead, here you were pinned against the wall in the supply closet. the supply closet of the very same stadium sae itoshi was playing at while rin stared down at you.

"a favour for a favour." he husked, "let me pay you back for last night."

rin itoshi was driving you insane.

a/n: love how i make everything into a three-part series :/ anyways, hope this was a fun enough read. i love men who are so emotionally unwell that it is borderline hilarious. what does that say about me? idk, nor do i wanna find out :) tagging: @ionlyhearnct @mortallyshadysoul @mindfulsreposts @mikaru0 @slutforitoshi @keiitamaa @loonalockley @ouraniaslyre @froggie-zusya23 @levcn @mimi-in-heaven i hope this was satisfying <3

[chiliyue-archived]

Lipstick Smudges

Includes; Riddle Rosehearts, Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech, Malleus Draconia, Silver

Tags; slightly suggestive— but it's all sfw and a lot of smooches 😚

Gender Neutral Reader -> Reader does wear lipstick

Requested ! [Twst M.List] ♡

-

—Riddle Rosehearts

A death wish

If you wish to be berated about public appearances and whatnot, then this is is just the thing for you 😀

On the bright side, the red of the lipstick compliments his red hair and of course, the growing blush on his face

An innocent single kiss to his cheek, which quickly became less seemingly innocent in the form of a dozen pecks. Riddle lost all sense of control at the first kiss, your lips simply soft, gentle, and intoxicating. His chest was burning for oxygen, but he didn't want to pull away - not yet, just a couple more seconds, he reckoned. He was practically drowning in the overflowing feelings amongst the moment.

You pulled away, your face flushed from the heated moment, eyes half lidded as you attempted to catch your breath. Suddenly, your eyes widened, a fit of giggles following from you soon after. Riddle rosed a brow at that, his heart fluttering at the sound of your laughter. " What's so silly my rose?"

" Your face...!" You couldn't stop another chuckle from leaving you as you attempted to calm yourself. Perplexed, Riddle took a quick glance at the mirror perched at the side of his room. Low and behold, the great dorm warden of Heartslabyul— rendered a disheveled mess with flushed cheeks and... lipstick marks over his lips. If it was even possible, his face became many shades redder, placing the roses in the garden to shame.

To be honest, you couldn't tell if he was mad or simply surprised, perhaps a mixture of both knowing your boyfriend. As for the boyfriend himself, Riddle couldn't quite place a finger on what he was feeling. He should be angry, really, that if anyone witnessed him this state, it would truly be embarrassing. But it's wasn't that... bad. If anything, it just made his heart thump faster, and palms become fidgety.

But oh- if you thought you were off the hook, then you're horribly mistaken. But for now, he'll let it slide and perhaps get a couple more kisses from you.

-

—Azul Ashengrotto

He's already red at the thought of kissing and now having some very obvious red marking of your kissing(which wasn't really that intimate) ?! He feels like he may explode on the spot

To be honest, if you don't point it out him, he's not going to notice for a while until some poor soul garnered the courage to tell him

It was a goodbye kiss - a goodbye which left a bright red mark on the corner of his mouth. Azul was curious as to why everyone was giving him a lingering gaze, some looking away to chuckle to themselves. We're they teasing him? Did he have anything in his teeth, perhaps?

A quick glance to the mirror answered all those questions, and he was mortified. The first thing he did was seek you out and demand - no, he can't raise his voice at you- nicly question, what caused you to do something so... so scandalous! Why do this to his face? Were you trying to make him have a heart attack?

He was too dumbfounded to even wipe it off, contributing to a very amusing scene to play before your eyes; your boyfriend out of breath, face flushed terribly red and just a tiny bit of your lipstick sticking to his lips.

" Darling, look what you did to my face." He sputtered, his face flushing an embarrassed pink as he pointed to the innocent mark. You giggled slightly at his dramatic antics, earning you a dramatic gasp from his end.

" Sorry Azul, didn't mean to leave a mark."

" Everyone in the school saw, and no one considered telling me." He mumbled out dumbfounded.

"It's really not that bad." You attempted to soothe him, grabbing a tissue to wipe it off. You were surprised when he caught your wrist suddenly, the material just shy from his lips.

Oh?

" Now now, I never say I didn't like it. Just be more cautious, Angelfish. Otherwise, I'll never hear the end of it from the twins."

Oh.

-

—Jade Leech

Really it's you who gets more flustered than he does.

If anything, he looks rather unfazed by the mark. Makes matters worse by teasing you for it, chuckling lightly as you scrambled to save your dignity

"Oh Jade... I got some of my lipstick on your face, " you muttered rather sheepishly, pointing the vibrant red smudge against his mouth as you pulled away. Your lover merely rose a brow at that, for he was already fully aware that it's there! But it presented an opportunity to make a gentle tease at the situation, and given how you're becoming red, it was worth it.

"Oh?" He tilted his head, a smirk already playing on his lips as he examined myself. "Why it seems you have, my dear." He exclaimed with a faux dramatic sigh before giving off a light-hearted chuckle.

Really, Jade paid little mind to the mark - though painfully obvious in contrast to his blue hair. However, people are too afraid of him to make fun of him for it, and besides, he felt entranced by it some way. Marked by his lover in such an innocent and unintentional way? You're really pulling at his heartstrings.

He pointed to the smudge, the pigment rubbing against the corners of his mouth, then he pointed to the other side bare and lipstick-free. Before you could even reciprocate your confusion, Jade suddenly leaned forward, a puff of hot air tickling your cheek. Your gasp of surprise only acted to empathize that smirk of his whilst the pads of his gloved fingers brushed along your spine, ecliting goosebumps along the curves of your body.

" Why don't you leave a couple more, my dear? Mark me as yours, hm?" It's safe to say that you were a little late to your class, your lips noticeably a little puffy and red.

-

—Malleus Draconia

Malleus, who doesn't really understand why you're making a big fuss about in the first place. It's just a small little mark, it can be easily wiped off with his sleeve.

He's intrigued by it; however, it wasn't something he can place his finger on but he stared at the smudge with some form of interest in his eyes

Tbh he's too busy kissing you to even pay attention or care 😗

Honestly, Malleus hardly even noticed or felt the texture of the pigment rub against his lips as he chased you for another kiss. He was too intoxicated in the moment, his chest heaving as he pulled another searing kiss that made the tips of his fingers go numb. It's only when you suddenly pulled away, your eyes widening slightly did he consider that something might have been wrong.

" Why are you staring at me like, my treasure?" He inquired with a tilt of his head, scenarios starting to run through his brain. You shyly pointed to his face, a faint red creeping on your cheeks from mild embarrassment. He hummed as his eyes quickly danced over to the nearest mirror, and there it was; a smudge of color against his face.

It was hard to read his expression within that moment, his brows were furrowing slightly but he remained stagnant in his motion. As you started to internally panic, Malleus let out a soft chuckle, his lips spreading in a small smile as he flickers his attention back to you.

" My love, it's just a little smudge. Don't be so concerned." He lightly chastised as his hands snaked around your waist and pulled you a little closer. " I truly pay little mind toward public appearances and if it came from you, then it certainly is worthy to be on my face."

His finger reached out to trail along your bottom lip, effectively accumulating a little more pigment on his fingernail. He chuckles at the reaction it eclicts from you as he leans in, lips brushing against your own. His voice is low as hushed whisper, sending shivers down your skin.

"However, let's conern ourselves with that later. Allow me to enrapture you in some more kisses."

-

—Silver

Literally does not care. He has no qualms with going to class with a smudged face of your lipstick. So what if they point and whisper? He really could hardly care

Really, he's too busy chasing after your lips to really concern himself over it. Why fuss over a small mark when he can kiss you breathless and maybe add a couple more of marks while he's at it?

Soft sighs were the only audible thing that registered in your brain as you felt your chest be knocked out of oxygen for the nth time. The only coherent feeling was Silver's lips on your own, swollen and blemished as he retreats for a quick intake of air before repeating the action. However, before he could lean in for another round of fervish kisses, you propped your hands on his shoulder, halting in him in place.

" Is something wrong?" He mumbled, hot breath pricking your cheek— it took all your willpower to not shudder, even as his fingers brushed along your upper arms. A couple more seconds of silence passed before you spoke; " I- I got some of my lipstick on your face." Your voice was barely audible and he had to strain his ears to hear.

He seemed to consider this for a moment, eyes flickering to the ground as he processed the words. His expression was unreable. You almost started to panic had it not been for the soothing circles he rubbed along your bare skin. Then, before you could ask, he leaned forward to press a chaste peck to your lips, followed by a:" I don't really care."

And with that, your cycle of kissing each other breathless until you're both heaving for air resumed and tenfolded with each passing second, touches becoming rough and impatient as you littered more smudges along Silver's face.

-

Anon, you didn't specify which fandom, so I went with twist. I hope that was okay ✿

[opiopal]

thinking about mams being a good boyfriend cuz I need it rn lol.

imagine being at a party at Lord Diavolo’s castle. It’s noisy and crowded, and every single person there seems so important, and mc just can’t seem to figure out if it’s ok to say hi or even look anyone in the eyes. Their outfit is… nice, but it’s uncomfortable in all the wrong places and they can’t help but feel a little insecure and intimidated by everything. They’re trying their hardest to stay by themselves, off to the side, but every single glance from anyone at all makes their face grow red in embarrassment. they start to fumble with their hands, pulling and picking at their nails and the dead skin around the area. It’s a bad and nasty habit and they know. but they had nothing else to fidget with to get their anxiety to go away, and they simply just can’t help it right now.

just then they feel a hand gently grab onto one of theirs and carefully pulls it away from them, of course they jump a little and then their head to see who’s grabbing them-only to be met with the familiar and handsome face of their boyfriend. he avoids eye contact for a moment to look around the room before turning to look at them, he looks calm but it’s obvious he knows very well how stressed they are right now. he scoots closer to them, intertwining their fingers as he gently squeezes their hand, he offers them the glass he was holding, which was really just some sort of fruit juice, it was obvious it wasn’t one of the multiple fancy alcoholic drinks that were being served, at least it didn’t taste like it was. Honestly it was hard to tell if it was something that was actually being offered by the multiple servants walking around with trays in hand. mc quickly chugs down the drink to get rid of the dry sensation in their mouth, they set it down on a near by table and simply scoots closer to their boyfriend, reaching over and grabbing his hand with both of theirs now as they press their forehead to his shoulder. Squeezing their eyes shut.

his free hand carefully yet firmly rubs against their back as he leans his head down and mumbles to them,

“do you want to go home?”

Mc nods,

“alright, then let’s go” ”but what if someone notices..?” “Well then they can go kick rocks. If you don’t wanna be here then you shouldn’t be forced to. I’d rather deal with my brother scoldin me for hours then you have to be here for another second, ya hear?”

Mc falls silent again before nodding, he moves his hand to the back of their neck and gently kisses their forehead, then wraps his arm around them to exit the ballroom without being noticed by anyone.(especially luci.)

back at the HOL they both decide that his room would be the best to hangout in for the time being, they both throw off their formal wear as soon as they possibly can, and as mc puts on something much more comfortable and less itchy, mams makes a run downstairs to the kitchen to get them some snacks. once they feel they’ve got everything they need, they both snuggle with each other, most likely with a movie playing on his projector in the background, though they clearly aren’t focused on it much. They both sat there in silence, mc had their head laid against his chest as his arms draped around them and his hands were slowly rubbing their back, mc closes their eyes and breaths in slowly,

“this is better.” ”i agree,” ”I love you,” ”i love you more,” ”that’s physically impossible by the way,”

They both giggle as mc turns their head to look at him, and they share a quick kiss before finally turning their attention to the movie.

[starlightkun]

❧ word count: 2.4k ❧ warnings: cursing, random old man makes reader uncomfy for 0.2 seconds (using real dialogue that a random old man said to me irl) ❧ genre: fluff, enemies to lovers (or are they…), secret dating, getting stuck on a ferris wheel together

“What are you doing?” You asked him through gritted teeth, making sure to whisper quiet enough that hopefully nobody else could hear you.

Sungchan yawned loudly, stretching out his arms until one was wrapped around your shoulders. “Gosh, just got tired all of a sudden.”

You were going to kill Shotaro. As soon as you got down from this Ferris Wheel.

A trip to a pop-up fair on the coast with all your friends had somehow turned into your worst nightmare. The line for the Ferris Wheel was long enough that you’d darted into the restroom while everyone else held your group’s place. Upon your return, though, it seemed that everybody had divided themselves into pairs, leaving you with the odd man out: Sungchan. After pleading with every single one of your friends to switch with you, you got six no’s in a row. Including, incredibly, Anton and Shotaro. You were going to kill Shotaro in particular, who had pulled you aside and suggested that maybe you and Sungchan could finally get over your long-running disdain for each other, because that confirmed your suspicions of this being intentional.

The Ferris Wheel getting stuck, however, you doubted your friends had anything to do with, unless they had bribed the college kid operating it while neither you nor Sungchan were looking.

So now you were perched at the top of a Ferris Wheel, all of your friends in the carts ahead of you, trying not to look at the boy next to you.

“Hey, Y/N, we want Sungchan to make it down in one piece, okay?” Shotaro called up to you.

“Do we?” Seunghan snickered from two cars in front of you.

“Okay, less than five pieces, how about that?”

“I’m going to kill you guys, you know that, right?” You snapped, leaning forward over the lap bar to try to look any of them in the face.

Your sudden jerking only succeeded in making your cart sway precariously, and you let out a squeal as you scrambled back in your seat to safety.

“You’re going to kill us both like that, Y/N,” Sungchan scoffed.

You didn’t respond, simply crossing your arms over your chest and looking in the opposite direction from him again, out to the ocean. From up here you could smell the salt on the seabreeze, hear the calls of seagulls down on the shoreline, and watch the waves as they rolled in. The rest of your friends had gone back to chatting among themselves, paying you and Sungchan no mind.

Which was when you felt the boy next to you slowly slide closer to you, until your sides were pressed up against each other.

“Beautiful view,” Sungchan murmured in your ear.

“What are you doing?” You asked him through gritted teeth, making sure to whisper quiet enough that hopefully nobody else could hear you.

He yawned loudly, stretching out his arms until one was wrapped around your shoulders. “Gosh, just got tired all of a sudden.”

“Wonbin and Sohee are right there.” You pointed to the two heads right by your feet. If they looked over their shoulders, you were sure they’d be able to at least see Sungchan’s change in position.

“And you and I are right here.” The cocky smile was audible in his voice. “Come on, you wouldn’t rob a guy of the perfect opportunity to kiss his girl at the top of the Ferris Wheel, would you?”

“Maybe I would.”

“Funny, what was it you said in the House of Mirrors? ‘No, not yet, just a little longer…’” You could feel the curl of his smirk against the shell of your ear as he kept his voice low. He was of course referring to earlier in the day when the two of you got “lost” in the House of Mirrors, letting your friends wander far ahead of you. You had yanked Sungchan into an out-of-the-way dead end, and came back out with sore lips.

“It was dark in there!” You hissed.

“Okay…” He sighed, his fingertips smoothing circles into the skin of your upper arm. “I guess you really do hate me…”

“Sorry, whose genius idea was it to not tell our friends?” You snorted. “You sure you don’t hate me and want to hide me?”

“Of course not.” He dropped kisses to the crown of your head, then your temple, your cheekbone, your cheek, and finally the corner of your mouth. “Want to keep you all to myself, baby.”

You finally turned enough to look over at Sungchan, perfectly aglow in the sun, and your worst fears came true. He just looked too good, you couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing his collar and crashing your lips together. He groaned immediately, a sound that you hoped was muffled by your mouth, as he simultaneously pushed you even further into the corner of the Ferris Wheel seat and pulled you closer by the arm he had around you.

Sungchan still tasted like the cotton candy he’d bought earlier, the sugary sweetness permeating the kiss more and more as his tongue sought out yours. You, meanwhile, had faint remnants of popcorn on your lips, turning it salty and sweet. Small whimpers slipped past your open mouth as he nibbled on your bottom lip, and one of your hands tangled in the hair at the back of his head, trying to ground yourself to something as it felt very much like you were going to float away at any moment.

You ignored the distant voices of your friends trying to play ‘I Spy’ or some word game or other. Using just a second to breathe, you pressed your lips to his again, taking kiss after kiss after kiss while you could.

Suddenly, the Ferris Wheel started again with a jerk, and you bit down on Sungchan’s lip in surprise. He cursed under his breath, pulling back and cradling his mouth, and you were left with a faint taste of metal. You pecked his cheek and whispered a final ‘sorry’ to him before he scooted back to his side. All of the other passengers had erupted into cheers at finally being free.

Back on the ground, your friends were all waiting for you and Sungchan, being the last two to get off. He was still nursing his wounded lip, tongue flicking over the swollen area habitually.

“Damn, Sungchan,” Seunghan whistled lowly and grabbed his chin, tilting his head this way and that to get a better look. “Y/N deck you in the mouth or something?”

“Why do you people always act like I’m going to kill him or something?” You huffed. “I’m not homicidal.”

“Maybe because you say ‘Sungchan, I’m going to kill you’ like ten times a day?” Sohee pointed out.

Sungchan knocked the other boy’s hand away. “I bit my lip when the ride started again. I’m fine.”

“Did you guys hear anything weird, by the way?” Eunseok asked, looking directly at you and Sungchan.

“No.” You said at the same time that Sungchan said, “Weird how?”

“We could hear somebody sucking faces like, the whole time. I think it was the couple behind you guys.” Eunseok and Seunghan had been in the cart ahead of Wonbin and Sohee.

“Yeah!” Sohee perked up. “I thought I heard something weird!”

“You two really didn’t hear anything?” Wonbin raised an eyebrow curiously.

“Yeah, it was like, nasty.” Sohee pretended to gag.

Your skin was on fire, and you tried to shrug and play it off as coolly as possible. “I don’t know, guys, I was trying to block out the experience, not eavesdrop on whoever may or may not have been making out behind me or whatever.”

“Ditto,” Sungchan coughed.

“The first time they agree on something,” Shotaro grumbled, shaking his head.

A little while later found you all perusing the area where various vendors were selling trinkets and cheesy souvenirs. The guys had gotten more food and were taking a break from rides so they could eat it. You were looking over a display of fridge magnets displaying the fair’s logo and many different mascot characters when you suddenly registered a presence walking towards you. Thinking that it was another patron of the booth trying to get by you, you pressed yourself further into the corner to get out of their way, but instead the man stopped right in front of you.

“Man, if I was thirty years younger…” He breathed out, lecherous stare clearly going up and down your body.

You let out a nervous chuckle, desperately looking around both for your easiest route of escape and for where exactly your friends were. Most of them were several booths down the row, engrossed in watching some other guy play a basketball shooting game. You couldn’t even spot Sungchan’s tall head over the crowd.

“Uhm, thank you, but I have a boyfriend,” you nodded and smiled awkwardly, trying to step out to the side of him to go around him, but he met your move to stay in front of you.

“Hey, we were just talking.”

“I said I have a boyfriend.”

“Then where is he? Shouldn’t have left a pretty thing like you alone.”

“I’m going back to my friends,” you told him, setting your jaw as you looked to duck out behind you instead.

The man’s patience was clearly wearing thin, too, as he growled, “I’m not done with you.”

Then, you finally spotted Sungchan emerging from right behind the man, pushing by him to stand next to you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders with no hesitation, offering you a smile despite the vein bulging in his neck, “Hey, baby, is there a problem here?”

“Who the fuck—”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” he snapped at the other guy, all kindness gone from his tone and features.

You shifted in place, gratefully pressing yourself into his side. You gulped and nodded, answering his question, “Yeah, I’m having trouble leaving.”

“Then let’s go. No reason why we shouldn’t be able to, right?” He was now glaring daggers at the older man.

“No, I don’t think so.”

Sungchan kept himself between you and the man as he practically shoved him out of the way for you two to leave, hurrying back into the crowd.

“I didn’t see him touch you, did he touch you?” He asked fervently, rubbing your arm.

“No, he didn’t, I just couldn’t leave,” you breathed out in relief at finally being out of there. Leaning your head against him affectionately, you added, “Thanks, Sungchan.”

“I shouldn’t have left you alone, I’m sorry.”

“I’m an adult.”

“Yeah but I’m your—”

“Y/N, oh my god!” Shotaro exclaimed as he and the others ran up to you two at that moment. “Are you okay?”

“We thought you were going to get like—” Eunseok made a slicing motion over his neck.

Wonbin smacked him on the arm. “Not helpful.”

“I’m fine, guys, thanks,” you reassured them with a tense smile.

“Good thing Sungchan is scary tall, huh?” Anton laughed.

“Speaking of—” Seunghan eyed Sungchan’s arm that was still around your shoulders. “You can uh, you can let go of Y/N now, Sungchan.”

“Yeah, the guy is gone,” Sohee confirmed, jumping up and down to see over the crowd. “You don’t have to pretend to be her boyfriend or whatever.”

“At this rate I’m pretty sure Y/N’s going to start screaming for help again,” Anton snickered.

Judging by the tight grip he had on you, you already knew that he wasn’t letting go of you anytime soon. You gazed up at him questioningly. He patted your shoulder, and that was the final reassurance you needed.

“Sungchan wasn’t pretending to be my boyfriend,” you admitted, bracing yourself for their reactions. “He is my boyfriend.”

Dead silence. They all blinked, and looked at you, and looked at each other, and looked at Sungchan, and looked at each other, and looked at you again.

“Wait, for real?” Eunseok asked.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Like, actually?” Wonbin double-checked.

“Yes.”

Seunghan looked you in the eye very seriously. “Y/N, blink twice if you need help.”

Sungchan rolled his eyes and held up both his palms where they were at on either side of you so they could see his hands. “I’m not holding her at gunpoint, jeez.”

“Seriously, guys,” you laughed. “We’re not messing with you.”

“So all the fighting… It was fake?” Shotaro rubbed his temples, presumably remembering all the times he’d felt the need to step in and break up your little arguments.

“Not really?” You half-answered. “I mean, we really do bicker like, all the time.”

“But not because we hate each other’s guts,” Sungchan added.

“Sorry.”

“Ha!” Eunseok fist-pumped victoriously, then pointed to everyone else. “Alright, pay up, bitches.”

They all started groaning and refusing loudly.

“Come on, don’t be sore losers.”

“No, you said they hated each other to cover up secret crushes on each other,” Anton argued. “You said nothing about a secret relationship.”

“Exactly!” Sohee agreed. “We don’t owe you shit!”

“Same difference!” Eunseok scoffed.

“Big difference!” Wonbin resisted.

Nudging Sungchan with your elbow, you then locked eyes with him, and immediately knew you had the same idea. Right as the two of you turned around and started walking off, however, the loud, accusatory voice of Shotaro called after you.

“Woah, woah, woah, where are you two going?” He was glaring at you with his hands on his hips, reminding you an awful lot of your mother.

“If you guys are just going to keep arguing, we’re going to the games.” You jabbed your thumb over your shoulder in the general direction of all the games.

“I’ve got to win my girl something, obviously,” Sungchan explained, smiling down at you.

You snorted. “If you even can.”

“That doesn’t sound like a girl who wants me to win her the huge cow Squishmallow she was totally eyeing earlier,” he teased, loudly kissing the top of your head several times in a row.

Eunseok gasped and pointed at you accusatorily. “Oh my god, it was you two sucking faces on the Ferris Wheel earlier! Wasn’t it?!”

You figuratively and literally bit your tongue, opting not to answer directly.

“I’m going to puke,” Sohee announced, covering his mouth.

“Anyway, you guys are welcome to find us whenever you’ve figured out your whole bet thing,” Sungchan offered, gesturing to all of them. “If it’s worth anything, I think Eunseok was sort of right.”

“And he totally owes us half his winnings,” you said, then gave them all a cheery wave. “Bye!”

As the two of you took off towards the games, the other six devolved into loud bickering again, mostly ganging up against Eunseok, with the occasional comment about Eunseok giving some of his money to you and Sungchan.

“That should keep them occupied for a good thirty minutes at least,” Sungchan sighed with content.

“Are we bad people?” You questioned.

“Maybe a little.”

“Thirty minutes should be enough for you to win me that cow, right?”

“As if you even need to ask, baby.”

⤷ blog masterlist

[motimatcha]

lust

hazbin hotel Adam x fem!reader smut: vaginal sex; unprotected sex; cum inside (creampie)

Adam is breathing heavily and both his and your chests are barely heaving. But Adam smiles, and you smile too; the hand that was squeezing your thigh a moment ago moves to Adam's gray hair to push the long strands back from his bangs — individual hairs still stuck to his sweaty forehead, but did not spoil the overall picture.

As his hand returned to its original, almost rightful place, the rhythmic thrusts were restored. Your eyes roll back on their own accord and your head falls back onto the soft pillows; With your hand you grab Adam’s hand so as not to simply move out of your place. You can feel how his muscles tense from your actions and your appearance, which excites him and makes him move his hips harder, changing your usual leisurely pace.

Adam grabs you with his other hand under your thigh, practically changing the angle of entry of his dick into your womb, causing the head of his dick to press on your pleasure point each time, and the shaft rubs against your clitoris, swollen with arousal. Your other hand lands on his toned stomach, either in a weak attempt to slow his movements, or to feel the movement of the muscle under your fingers. But all you can feel is the pleasure of friction both inside and out, and Adam's hot skin. His barely audible chuckle touches your ears as he leans over your body and kisses the valley between your breasts.

The movements become jerky, chaotic, even sweeping as Adam gets close to cumming. He never bothered to pull out of you to cum, and you never denied yourself the pleasure of feeling his cum inside you. There was something special about this that you both preferred not to talk about out loud, exchanging only lustful glances.

Adam flaps his wings several times as he comes, causing light objects on the nightstands and chest of drawers to fly to the floor. Your fingers, nails, scratch his stomach and arm, leaving wounds on his skin. Later they will definitely make themselves felt with itchy pain, but for now Adam only watches with admiration as golden droplets of blood appear on the wounds that appear and as his sperm flows out of your vagina, leaving a ring on his dick.

He removes his hand from your grip to lace your fingers together before settling down on his side next to you. Your eyes are closed and a blush appears on your cheeks; you try to catch your breath and after about a minute, when your breathing comes to relative calm, you open your eyes to turn your head towards Adam and meet his languid golden eyes. The kiss happens by itself: you just put your other hand on his cheek, Adam just gently almost purrs, and you just touch your lips to each other — the kiss is soft and tender, with an intimate and vulgar smack and a viscous string of saliva.

Adam pulls your hand so you can collapse onto his body and ride his cock. With one hand, the man touches your thigh, helping you to align yourself with the head of his erect dick, after which he moves higher, to your waist, to partially guide the process. Moans escape your swollen lips as you begin to move, and Adam feels like he’s ready to cum again right now, just from the sight of you riding his cock, but the desire to prolong the pleasure was as great as the sexual one. Adam tries to hold out for a long time, but you can tell just by one nervous squeeze of your waist with his fingers that this “long” will soon end and a new portion of his sperm will paint the walls of your womb white.

In pursuit of your own high, your free hand touches the clitoris, creating additional pressure and friction; Adam decides to leave it to you and begins to move his hips to meet you, practically driving his dick into your body. He rises sharply and, wrapping his arms around your body, sets an insanely fast pace that sends a hot tingling sensation through your body. Your wings shake nervously and point upward as you reach your climax and then collapse into your man's arms as he cums deep inside you.

Barely half a minute passes before you both fall back, Adam's back on the sweat-soaked mattress, you pressed against Adam's chest and stomach. His dick, which was still inside, gives you a pleasant feeling of fullness and oneness with him, and therefore you decide to lie in this position for now. You can clean up in five minutes tomorrow.

[nana-luvy]

. 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 (𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐨𝐫) .

warnings: angst, before TLT, violent!Luke, mention of reader being harmed (lightly), harsh language, basically a verbal fight

In which you can't recognize the one you love, locked on the other side of the door, anymore.

(i'm sorry it's very angsty but ummm... i had an idea. <3)

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

The air was fragrant and cool at camp, the nights starting to get warmer as the summer was coming closer, carrying the smell of blossoming strawberries and cedar wood. It was this kind of quiet night when you’d tuck yourself to sleep and fall into a deep slumber in no time, lulled by the sounds of the insects hiding in the wild grass. But tonight, Luke wasn’t in his cabin, he was in yours.

Your eyes fluttered open as you caught the noise of the door creaking open, a faint noise clear in the stillness of the empty cabin, all your half-siblings leaving for the year while you stayed at camp, knowing it was the only trusted place for you, the only warm place. Luke slipped inside, closing behind him softly, and you could see him stand there for a moment, the moonlight filtering through the window casting it's eerie glow on his features.

“Luke?” You asked, voice hoarse as you tried to wake up. “What-” But you didn’t get to finish your sentence as you heard his quiet sob, the faint light reflecting on the single tear rolling down his cheek.

“I couldn’t sleep…” Luke simply said, his voice, strained and brittle, cutting through the silence as he walked towards the bed. You immediately shifted on the mattress, making space on one side and opening the comforter. He quickly laid next to you, face buried in your neck and arms wrapped around your waist while you tucked him under the covers.

“The nightmares again ? Do you wanna talk about it…?” Your voice was soft but hesitant, knowing how sensitive he must've been in this moment.

It wasn’t the first time that he’d come in the middle of the night, tears staining his cheeks as he cuddled against you for comfort, but these past few weeks it had only seemed to intensify. And you couldn't help the worry that was bubbling in your chest when you’d hear him sniffling, vulnerable at your side, while you couldn't do more than just try to comfort him.

You brushed a few wild curls out of the side of his face, caressing his cheek softly as he hesitantly spoke, his strained voice muffled against your skin. “I… It’s getting worse…”

It was kind of a ritual now, for the both of you: when his dreams were becoming too dark, too unbearable, he’d come to you, day or night, and you’d help him get through it. At first, he’d hide the nightmares behind cocky smiles and flirty words, but as time passed by, the cracks in his walls deepened and he finally let you in.

But this night felt different, though.

Luke let out a shaky breath against your skin. “I can’t- I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to take it…” he admitted, the whisper of his voice tainted in helplessness, and it broke your heart.

“Do you wanna..tell me about it ? Let it out ?” you asked, trying to keep your voice soft and soothing through the worry that troubled your mind, combing your fingers through the boy’s curls fondly.

But his breathing was still shallow in the crook of your neck, feeling him tighten his hold on your waist as he spoke. “It’s him. It’s Kronos…”

“What.. what do you mean, Luke?”

“It’s… he’s- he’s speaking to me, talking to me in my dreams, bringing monsters with him and images of chaos, telling me things…”

You rested your head on his, trying to keep grounded, but your breath felt stuck in your throat. You’d heard stories, Kronos turning former campers mad, even cast down in Tartarus, getting in their mind and turning them against themselves… But they were stories, that’s all they were.

“It’s not real, Luke.” you said softly, turning his face to make him look back at you, pushing his curls away and resting a chaste kiss on his forehead. “He’s not here, it’s just a bad dream. I’m here.” you continued, cupping his cheek.

“It feels real, too real.” His voice cracked, his eyes watering. “It’s like… like he knows everything, everything I’ve ever thought, every doubt I’ve ever had. He’s showing me things, visions, showing me what it could be like if-”

“Luke.” Your tone was firmer, trying to stop his spiraling, his eyes covered in a veil of confusion. “Whatever he’s showing you, it’s not real, it’s a lie, you know it right ?”

Luke shook his head, like trying to banish the thought, furrowing his eyebrows as he answered. “But what if it’s not ? What if it was possible ? A world without them, without the Gods ? Kronos might be right, about how the Gods don’t care about us, how we’re just pawns..” His teeth were gritted harshly, pain and anger clouding his vision. “It’s always them first, their rules, their wars… They’ve proven it, over and over agai-” His voice broke in a low sob, a single tear rolling on the side of his face to land in his hair at the memories flooding his mind. “What about us…?”

You exhaled shakily, feeling his breathy words tugging at your heart like a mirror to the injustices you were reminded of everyday, yet trying to keep your voice steady and your mind out of the black waters that threatened to engulf you. “It’s not you talking, Luke… It’s him.”

He didn’t answer, instead closing his eyes and pulling you closer to rest his head on your chest, his hands gripping your shirt. “I’m scared..” he admitted in a breath, so soft the wind could’ve carried it away.

You could only hug him back, laying your head in his soft curls and breathing in his comforting smell. “I’m not going anywhere, Castellan, you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here, always.”

None of you said anything after that, only hearing the noises outside the cabin to lull you back to sleep. But as Luke’s breath steadied, your eyes stayed open, your expression grim and pained. Because you didn’t know if you could save him this time.

The following night didn’t hold the same calm as before, grey clouds covering the stars and darkening the atmosphere. Few birds were still singing, the insects had stopped buzzing… You felt uneasy, the feeling creeping up your back as you went to bed. But you realized it wasn’t just the weather that had changed, the stormy clouds finding echo in the eyes of Luke, standing once again at the foot of your bed. He had been distant all day, face pale and eyes rimmed with dark circles, and you couldn’t help the discomfort you felt.

You didn’t say anything when since he’d come in, only shifting on one side of the bed and opening the covers like you were used to, but he only sat at the edge, turning his back on you. And you didn’t have anything to ask, because you could feel it too: the storm brewing inside of him.

He was the one to break the silence.

“I’m done pretending.”

A look of hurt flashed in your gaze, not that he could see it, hearing his voice hoarse and.. cold, it made the blood beat at her temples. “Pretending ? What do you mean ? What is it, Luke ?” You sat straighter.

He swallowed hard, and you could see the tightening of his jaw from the side. “I’m done acting like I can ignore it, pretending like I can fight it. Kronos isn’t going to stop, and I’m tired of convincing myself he’s wrong in what he shows me.”

Your breath caught in your throat, carefully extending a hand to lay it on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Luke, calm down a second. This isn’t you, you don’t have to-”

“Except I do.” His tone was firm, cutting like a knife through your words. “He’s offering me everything I could ever want : power, control, a way to finally over overthrow the Gods and their dangerous games where they use us as they please. He’s giving me a chance to make them all pay.”

“Luke, stop, you can’t possibly-” As you spoke you tried to come closer, he shook your hand away, standing up in a swift movement, cutting you off in a gasp of surprise.

“I can make everything better, we can make it all better..” he replied, starting to pace the small space between your bed and the one next to it.

You stood up from the bed too, making a few steps in his direction until he stood right in front of you, looking down into your eyes, and you could almost see the storm raging behind his eyes. “What are you talking about…” you breathed out, almost confused as to how he could even be considering the idea. “You can’t just give up and join Kronos.”

“Why not ?” he asked, louder than intended. “Why can’t I ? I mean, you hate the Gods too, how can you not get it ? Kronos could mean the end of an era of pain and suffering, the end of those we despise so much. I hate them just as much as you, you even said it yourself, how it disgusts you the way they use us and discard us like we’re nothing to them. Now is our chance.” he stepped closer, taking your hand in his, “You said it yourself, we deserve more.”

You shook your head, eyebrows furrowing as your throat tightened. “I said that because I was angry, Luke. But it’s not the right way to change things, we can’t bring more chaos to banish another one. You can’t just wish to destroy everything that’s ever been to bring peace.” You squeezed his hand, hoping it’d bring him back to you.

But he only snapped, escaping your grasp. “You don’t get it !” His eyes widened at his own reaction, taking a deep breath before continuing. “It’s the only way. You should be on my side, you should want this… Think about it : if we take down the gods, we can do whatever we want. We can make the world ours. No more suffering. No more wars. Just us.”

“No, Luke.” you said, trying to sound firm and definitive through the tremble of your voice, the emotions taking over you as you felt like you were watching your boyfriend slowly go crazy. “It’s not as simple as Kronos is making you believe. If chaos is brought to the world, if you bring it, people will be hurt, caught in crossfire, people who have no part in this war, people who don’t deserve harm over a fight that’s not theirs to begin with.”

The boy ran a frustrated hand through his curls, messing them up further more, looking to the ground, before taking a step back. “You don’t understand ! Listen to me !” he spat. His eyes were wild now, dark, like all the amber in them that made it him had been swallowed by a black pit clouding his judgement, and his voice was only getting louder, his tone harsher. “They’ve always been the problem, the ones pulling the strings. They’ve been using us for their war games and petty squabbles for as long as anyone could remember, and they never cared about us in the littlest.” He gritted his teeth, trying to swallow the anger he could feel bubbling up his throat.

You took a step back, a wave of worry and fear washing over you at the sight of his knuckles, turning white from how tight he as clenching his fists. Was this in front of you a controlled version of his emotions? “Please, Luke. Think about this. Think about the people we know, the ones who have nothing to do with this fight. Think about your mom-”

But you didn’t get to finish your sentence.

“Don’t you fucking dare speak about my mother!” His voice thundered through the cabin, making you flinch. “Who the fuck are you to bring her up? You think you know so well, huh? Always wanting to have the last word, but what do you even know, in the end?”

You swallowed hard, backing up again, fearing the anger you saw consuming his will behind his eyes. You could see the struggle in them, the conflict raging, torn between the man you knew him to be, and the monster Kronos was starting to shape. “I”m just trying to help..” you whispered, all the voice you could muster as you looked down to your feet, feeling tears starting to blur your vision.

You flinched again when he shouted. “I don’t need your help! I don’t need you to try and save me, I need you to stand by me. To fight by my side and do what needs to be done, for all of us.”

His eyes were full of a craze you couldn’t see through at this point, and before you could react, his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, tugging you roughly towards him. “Come with me.” His voice was raw and desperate, demanding. “We could wake things better. Together.”

But the more he spoke, the harsher was his grip on you, and you gasped as a sharp pain shot through your arm, folding you forward with you head hanging low. “Luke!” you cried, trying to pull away but to no avail, his grip only tightening as his desperation bled into his every movement. “Stop, you’re hurting me!”

The boy’s face immediately twisted in confusion, in pain when he looked down at your wrist and in remorse when he hastily let go and saw the red mark on your skin. For the first time since the beginning of the night, you saw a flicker of realization in his eyes.

“I’m- I didn’t mean to-”

“No, Luke.” You cut him off, gritting your teeth, taking a step back as he tried to reach out again but stopped just short of touching you. Your voice broke, tears threatening to spill from your eyes with every word. “This isn’t you, you have to put yourself together, please. Come back to me…”

But when he didn’t move, only standing there with this crazed gaze in his eyes, you turned on your heels before a tear finally tumbled from your eyes, heading for the door. “I can’t do this. Not like this.” But behind the tremor in your voice, there was a determination Luke only understood too late, when he heard the clicking of the lock behind the door.

Another tear fell on his face, but it didn’t hold sadness this time, it was full of rage, his teeth gritting and his jaw clenching hard. And other tears followed, like a tangible version of the emotions bubbling inside him, forming a lump in his throat as he took careful steps towards the door. He shook the handle, seeing it was indeed locked, trapping him inside.

His voice was soft as he spoke, tentative, trying to hide the shake in it. “Love, why would you-”

“You’re in no state to have a conversation Luke. Not with me, not with anyone. I can��t-” You choked out a sob, trying to muffle it behind your hand. “I can’t just let you go like this.”

On the other side, you heard him collapse against the door, his sobs muffled but still raw. But what you couldn’t see was the frustration and rage filling his eyes along with the tears, his expression hardening through his pleads. “Please, love,” he begged, his voice barely audible through the wooden door, “we can talk about this.”

“No, we can’t, that’s what you don’t understand.” Your own voice was a breath you couldn’t be sure he’d heard.

“Please, open the door. I can’t- I didn’t mean to hurt you, believe me I- I’m sorry. Please just… open the door, sweetie.”

A shiver ran up your spine at his words, like spoken from another, the nickname sounding so familiar yet so foreign in this instant. You stayed silent, tears streaming down your face as each of his word went tugging at your heartstrings, and you knew you couldn’t do as he wanted, he’d only succeed in pulling you into his madness. And you couldn’t let him do that, not when it could hurt him, you, or anyone for that matter.

“Can we just forget about it?” he whispered. “Can we not fight anymore?”

Your heart shattered as you rested your head back against the door, cold wood against your back, only letting out a pained sigh: you wanted to let him out, you wanted to stop the nonsensical fight, but you just couldn’t. Because this time, you didn’t see a way to save him, not when the storm brewing inside of him had already started to destroy everything.

For a minute there was no talking, no words exchanged, only your ragged breathing and the rustle of Luke’s movements on the other side of the door to fill the heavy silent of the night. Your pulse raced at your temples, the weight of the fight still hanging in the air like a stormy cloud, ready to burst again.

“Babe..” His voice broke the silence, even as just a faint whisper. “Babe, please… Open the door.”

You could hear it, the sound of his forehead hitting the door to rest on it, his uneven breathing his quiet sobs and over everything — the anger, the pain filling the space between you two. You could almost feel it, the insidious, dark, suffocating kind of pain that was slowly consuming him. You closed your eyes tightly and held your breath, like shutting him out would make it easier, but it only made his voice the only thing you could focus on, and you truly didn’t know what could make it easier anymore.

“I’m scared, Luke…” you said, the words slipping out of your mouth quicker than you could hold onto them. “You’re scaring me.”

On the other side of the door, the brunette’s breath hitched.

“I’m sorry I- I didn’t mean to scare you. I just… I don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t…” he trailed off, like the weight of his emotions had shattered him.

The last thing you wanted was to feel this distance between you two, on each side of the door, to hear him this way, to hear the desperation in his voice and know that the one person who made you feel home was being pulled into the darkness.

“Luke, just calm down, breath.” you said, your voice shaking, as you tried to follow your own instructions. “You have to think straight, get the control. He can’t make you do what you don’t want to do.”

“I’m trying,” he responded, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t… It’s too much. You don’t get it. You don’t understand how much it hurts, how much it—” He cut himself off with a jagged breath. Luke felt like his anger from earlier had been replaced with something quieter, more broken, and it almost felt worse. He was falling apart right there, on the other side of the door, like trying to claw his way out of himself but only falling deeper in what was taking over.

“I get it, Luke,” you said, your voice a little stronger this time, though it still cracked in a quiet sob. “I know you’re hurting. But this isn’t the way, you can’t just give in to him. You’re stronger than this.”

The boy’s answer shot quick and quiet, tinged in finality. “Maybe I’m not,” he started, sounding even more resigned and distant than before. “Maybe I’m not as strong as you think i am, maybe I’ve just been pretending to be someone I’m not for too long.”

Your hands clenched into fists at your sides as you slid down the wood panel, sitting on the cold door-step, tears still cascading down your cheeks and wetting your pajama shorts. “That’s not true. You’re so strong, Luke, believe me. If anyone can resist, it’s you, and you have to resist. Because I’m here for you, but I wont be able to stand by and watch you burn everything to the ground if you let Kronos get in your head.”

Your whole body shook at the sharp ‘pang’ sound when he slammed his fist on the other side of the door, all your senses back in alert as you kept your own fists clenched to keep yourself from trembling. “But i don’t want you to ‘stand by’, I want you to join me!” he shouted, the words cutting. “I don’t want you to stay out of this, I want you to come with me. We can do anything if we’re together, we can lead the rebellion and get our life back, if we work together. Take this step with me.”

His voice was hoarse and you could clearly the frustration, the fury, the brokenness all tangled up together in it.

“No.” You shook your head, dismissing any thought that might go his way. “No Luke, I won’t be part of that. Not like this. I won’t let you tear everything down just to build something out of chaos. Think about it, about everything we’ve worked for, about the people we know. We’ve all already lost so much, and you want to shake this fragile peace. You want to destroy everything, but that’s not the answer. It’s not.”

There was silence, for a moment, only the pounding of your heart in your chest to fill your ears, before you heard a soft scraping sound on the door — his nails dragging over the wood, desperate, like trying to claw at the door from frustration.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please, love, just open the door. I… I can’t breathe. I can’t think straight. I need you.” His voice cracked on the last word, and you felt your chest tighten.

You got up again, resting your forehead against the wood, along with your hand, spreading your palm over where you thought his was. “You’re not yourself, Luke, you know I can’t..”

“Can we..” he immediately continued. “Can we just..not fight anymore ?” To you his voice sounded so fragile, like glass shattering in slow motion in front of your eyes, and the thought of how he must’ve been feeling, torn between himself and this darkness that slowly ate at his resolve, had your tears pouring faster on the ground below you.

And you didn’t have it in you to answer. The silence stretched again, and you event thought you heard him walk away from the door, which would only make it clear that he had given up, and the idea twisted your guts.

But then, you heard a soft knock on the door from the inside.

“Babe..”

Another knock, softer, quieter.

“Please, I can’t loose you…” he whispered, his voice almost completely muffled by the door between you. “I can’t lose you, I’m sorry, so sorry... I don’t know what’s happening to me, I swear I never wanted to hurt you. Just… just please, can we forget about this? Can we just go back to how it was before?”

You took a deep breath in, your free hand hovering over the lock, the temptation undo it pulling at you. Any possible word you could speak was stuck in your throat, only soft sobs getting past your lips, and you were torn with doubt.

“Sweetheart, please…” he sighed softly, with an edge of urgency, and you couldn’t see the way he gripped the latch on the other side. “I can’t… I can’t do this without you. Just open the door, okay? I promise, I’m fine. I just need you.”

The sweetness laced in his voice almost had you, but the cold, empty-sounding promise, the fake calm the dripped from his words had a chill run up your spine. “I don’t think I should, Luke, understand m-”

“What do you mean you shouldn’t ?” His tone sharpened immediately, a hint of frustration, cutting through. “Don’t you trust me ? After everything we’ve done ? Everything we’ve been through ?”

You tried to control it, but your voice was trembling again, eyes shut tight to focus through the tears. “Luke… This isn’t you-”

“You keep saying this like it makes sense!” he finally snapped, slamming his fist on the door and you yelped, startled, taking a step back as a reflex. But luck wasn’t on your side: you stumbled back, tripping over yourself as you forgot you were on a small step, and fell back on the porch, twisting your ankle in the process. “What the hell does that even mean? You don’t know me, not really. If you did, you’d understand why this matters! You’d see why I have to do this, why we have to do this.”

“I do understand!” you cried out, the pain shooting at your ankle as you tried to smooth over the skin, like it’d help with the forming bruise. “And I fucking know you, that’s what terrifies me! Because now I see clearly how Kronos uses you, twisting you into this thing you’re n-”

“Kronos is not twisting me! He’s opening my eyes, he shows me the truth, about the gods, about this world, about everything. And you’d see it too, if you weren’t so blinded by your trust.”

You covered your mouth with your hand, bringing your legs closer and pressing your knees to your chest, and you could feel the anger bubbling inside of you, the feeling of this unfair words thrown at you burning in your mind. But you couldn’t be mad, because you knew it wasn’t him talking, it couldn’t be.

“Luke-” you choked out, immediately cut off.

“You think you’re so much better than me, yeah?” You could practically hear the venom dripping from his voice. “Sitting there, judging me from the other side of this door like you’re some kind of saint. You have no idea what I’ve been through, what I’ve sacrificed…”

You carefully pulled yourself up, wincing with each step taken towards the door. “I’m not judging you, I’d never-” Your voice cracked, a sob escaping the seal of your lips. “I’m trying to help you, please let’s just.. Let’s calm down, we can talk-”

“No!” He roared, hitting the stone wall at his side. “You know what, I don’t need you. But know that if you’re not with me, you’re choosing to be against me. No more talking now, no more lies. Just open this door, or I swear I’ll-” He stopped abruptly, and, for a moment there, the silence was deafening. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just… I need you, okay? I can’t do this without you.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, hand reaching to the wood of the door between you two, trying to ground yourself. Because as sweet as his words were, you could hear them clear as day: the manipulation, the sugarcoated words he knew you’d fall for, the weakened voice he was luring you in with. And it took all your resolve to not open the door and tell him you’d follow him anywhere. Your blood ran even colder at his next words, low and sharp as a blade.

“Don’t make me wait, babe. You don’t want to see what happens if you keep me out here.”

“Stop!” you shouted back, for the first time of the night that felt like eternity. “Do you even hear yourself? You’re throwing nonsense in your words, you’re contracting yourself, your speech i conflicted- Get a fucking hold, Luke! Hear what you say, you’d never say that, it’s just ideas he’s putting in your head. Just think, for the gods’ sake!” But you immediately regretted, leaning your forehead on the door with your hand clutching the handle. Knowing you couldn’t get yourself to open anyway.

There was a long pause, the air thick with tension. Then came the sound of something heavy hitting the door, a loud, bone-chilling thud that made you jump, eyes shut tightly again.

“Let me out!” he shouted from the other side, his voice raw and furious. “I said let me out!”

You slightly stumbled back, this time minding the step, your chest heaving as panic set in. He was relentless now, pounding on the door with a force that made it rattle in its frame.

“Luke, stop!” you screamed through the loud banging, pressing your hands to your ears to try and shut it all out: it was getting way too much for you to take in. The banging continued, each impact like a hammer to your heart. You could hear him on the other side, his breath ragged, his words slurred with anger and desperation.

You eventually came back closer, turning around to sink back against the wall next to the door, knees tucked to your chest with you hands still firmly pressed on your ears. “I’ll wait,’ you said softly, not knowing if you said it for you or for Luke, “I’ll wait until you’re back to your senses, Luke. I’m not leaving you, don’t worry…”

The banging slowed, the impacts growing weaker, but the tension in the air was still suffocating. You could hear him breathing on the other side, harsh and uneven, like a storm refusing to pass.

“You’ll see,” he muttered, his voice low and bitter. “You’ll see that I was right. And when you do, don’t come crawling back to me.”

You pressed your hands to your face, tears streaming freely now as his words echoed in your mind. This wasn’t him, and you could only hope he’d win the fight that was raging inside his mind.

You must’ve had fallen asleep at some point, because when you lifted your head, you saw the first rays of the sun hitting your eyes, painting its orange hues in the now perfectly clear sky, and the events of the night quickly came back to you. You quickly turned towards the door, reaching for the lock, moving your ankle and hissing in the process as a sharp pain shot through your leg.

“Shit, forgot about that one…”

Carefully, this time, you got up, unlocking the door before twisting the handle, opening the door. The light was filtering through the windows, the early morning atmosphere always your favorite as it cast this eerie glow inside the cabin, but what really caught your eye was the figure sat on the floor, head resting back against a hard wall: some of his dark curls were sticking to his dark forehead, his eyes were lined with dark circles, half open in what looked like a sleepy daze, and his arms rested limply over his knees, loosely drawn up. And you could only imagine you looked just as rough.

Luke’s eyes fluttered as you came into his field of vision, and for a moment there was silence, just staring at each other as neither of you found it in yourself to speak first. You could see now how his eyes, wild and taken over with madness hours ago, were now bloodshot, full an aching sorrow, their usually mischievous glint dulled.

“I…” His lips parted but the tightness in his throat only grew, and he dropped his gaze, ashamed. “I don’t.. don’t know what to say…” he only whispered, not daring to look back at you.

Your heart sank low in your chest at his tone, and you carefully took a few step closer, hissing as pain throbbed in your ankle, which immediately caught his attention. His eyes shot to your swollen ankle, then up your wrist, lined in a faint purple where he’d grabbed you earlier, panic and remorse etched on his face.

“Gods.. I did that.” His voice was breathy, weak, as he reached for your hand only to stop halfway, shuffling away from you a little. “I don’t know what- I hurt you.” Tears threatened to spill from his eyes, twinkling in the faint morning light. “I hurt you…”

“Luke, look at me.” you simply said, keeping him from spiraling as you took a seat next to him, laying back on the wall, your knees short of touching. “My ankle ? I’m just clumsy, okay ?” you lied, trying to ease his burden. “As for the rest… I need you to know it wasn’t you, okay ? Even if you remember, even if you feel like it was you, know it was Kronos. I would never blame you for what happened…”

And it was true, you could never have it in you to hold it against him, because in the end he had just been a puppet in someone else’s game, Kronos’ twisted game.

You reached for his hand, squeezing it between yours as you rested them on your knees, wanting him to really feel the sincerity of your words.

“But it was my hands.” His voice cracked, his emotions pouring in the tears that started slowly rolling on his cheeks, and you only wished you could kiss his troubles away like you did his tears, softly planting your lips on each pearl of salty water as one of your hands reached to cup his jaw. “I feel like a monster I- I didn’t mean to, I swear. I could never mean to hurt you…”

“And I believe you, Luke.” you whispered, voice trembling. “I know you were in there, fighting him, and now you’re here, not him, and you’re not hurting me. I’m not saying it didn’t happen, and you might have to work on it not happening again, for the sake of my wrist,” I continued, joking —though he did not take the joke, only growing gloomier, and my heart ached—, “but you can do this, I know it.”

A wry smile etched itself on the boy’s features, bitter laugh escaping his lips through the tears that had began to stop, and in this light, you’d never seen him look more exhausted. "I don’t know if I can fight him anymore," he admitted, his voice barely audible. "He’s… he’s always there. In my head. Whispering, pushing, pulling. I don’t even know where he ends and I begin anymore.”

You shifted closer, carefully resting your head on his shoulder, and, if he tensed at first, his body quickly relaxed, leaning back into yours. “Well, I am here to tell you, then. I want to help you, Luke, okay? I’m not leaving. We can figure this out, together.”

For a long time the two of you just stayed there, the warming rays of the sun filtering in the cabin, curls falling on your forehead when he laid his head upon yours. To you two it was more comforting than talking, somehow, sharing a moment and giving you both this feeling of belonging, even after a night you probably would never forget, like this soothing silence was a proof you could go through anything and remain like this, together.

Eventually, Luke shifted a little, gently brushing his cheek against your hair. “Do you think Chiron might be… able to help ?”

“I think it’s worth trying.” you whispered back, nuzzling his shoulder. “You’re not the first demigod to go through this, and he’s seen more of the worlds than we could ever fathom… Maybe he’ll even give you some wise centaur metaphor about life and balance ~”

And you couldn’t contain your smile at the sound of his small laugh, like a hug to your heart.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right…”

“More seriously, I’m sure he’ll listen to you, he’ll do the best he can to help.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes drifting back to the bruise on your wrist. His hand hovered near it, but he didn’t dare touch it. "I’m so sorry," he whispered, his voice breaking. "For everything.”

"I know," you said softly. "But it’s going to take more than apologies to fix this. You need to fight, Luke. Not just for me, but for yourself, okay ?” I pulled my head away, cupping one side of his face to look back at me. “It’s probably not gonna be easy, but it’s okay. And if you get lost trying to find your way back, I’ll get lost with you and we’ll make it out, I promise.” You finally said, eyes fluttering close and resting your forehead on his.

Hey people ~

Hope y'all enjoyed it, i do feel like i wrote the same thing in different fonts for most of the story but.... yeah... anyway-

Have a nice day lovess <3

[causenessus]

love notes

part 0.8. IF YOU'RE WILLING TO LISTEN

"home and i know,it's always different.i'm the one in love."

from genesis by grimes, left at osaka university, osaka

she’s slipping her phone into her pocket right as she sees them approaching. she smiles, waving excitedly towards both of them. omi is a few strides behind him but she sees them both return the gesture. 

“sorry we’re late,” suna says as they both approach, paper bags in hand. “we got held up buying you these.”

her breath catches in her throat when he pulls out a bundle of tulips wrapped in parchment paper from the bag and she gives him a hug in thanks, trying not to linger or overthink the contact. “don’t worry about it at all, we just opened like eight minutes ago so you guys aren’t late, and this totally makes up for it anyway. thank you so much, suna– rin.”

he smiles when she corrects herself. omi steps forward and reveals his own bouquet which she receives with thanks and hugs him as well, “congratulations. it looks like everything turned out well. how do you feel about it?”

there had been some portfolios she’d slaved over and still not been happy with the end result no matter what anyone told her, and he had been there in high school, staying awake late into the night, listening to her rant about it. “i like this one. a lot,” she answered truthfully. “and i hope you do, too. thank you for asking and coming tonight, omi! you’ve been my number one supporter since high school.”

she can see his smile through his mask and smiles just as wide when he ruffled her hair. “thank you for letting me support you. i’m glad i’ve been here since day one. you deserve this–all of this. remember me when you get famous.”

she laughs at his words, repositioning the flowers in her arms, “i should be saying that to you! you’re the upcoming professional volleyball player here.” he only scoffs at her, trying to keep humble but there’s no denying it. “i’m gonna put these flowers somewhere safe. in the meantime, you guys can wander around if you want. everything’s on the wall and kenma and akaashi’s exhibits are to the left if you want to check them out as well!”

omi nods and walks off and suna gives her another look before following after him. she's giving them time to look at her art before she comes back. she wants them to interpret the photos themselves, without anyone looking over their shoulders, telling them how to feel.

but this is suna’s first exhibit, and she can’t blame him for looking a little lost. all of her shows last year had lined up with days he had games and he’d been unable to come to any of them. he had always apologized for it but it never bothered her. if anything, she felt a little nervous now, letting him see such a raw side of her through her photos.

but at the same time, she didn’t really mind when it came to him. they had had intimate conversations before; he had even spent the end of last year with her when she was all alone at her apartment. he had assured her that he wouldn’t think any differently of her no matter what he saw, and she hoped that was true. she hoped that even if he saw the worst parts of her, he would still stick around.

she placed the flowers by her bag at a table she was sharing with akaashi and kenma. they had all dumped their things there to claim it as their own and had relaxed there for a little bit before the gallery had opened. akaashi was there now as well, screwing off the lid of a bottle.

“how’s it going?” she asked, making sure the flowers were stable and wouldn’t fall off the table.

“good,” he responded simply. “more people than i expected showed up, to be honest. but they seem to be liking everything a lot. is it going well for you?”

“of course they like everything! anyone who says they don’t like your work is lying,” she laughed and looked up at him. he only smiled and shook his head in response. “it’s been good for me, too. suna and omi just got here so they’ll probably come visit you soon.”

“good to know. i’m sure i’ll see sakusa, but not so much suna,” akaashi says, putting down his bottle.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” she raises her brows, unsure of what to make of his statement.

“he only came for you, i’d be surprised if he even left your side tonight,” he answers with a teasing grin.

she sighs, her face reflexively warming at the thought, “oh please. he’s still your guys’ friend too. i’m sure he’ll come by. and it’s not like he’s gonna stay for the whole three hours.”

“you’d be surprised what a person would do for someone they love,” akaashi says and then shrugs when she looks up at him in shock, as if he’s just said something completely normal. “didn’t you tell me you used to make him food for basically every game you went to for him? didn’t you take pictures for inarizaki just to be around him? well now he’s all the way here in the arts building to see you and i have to get back to my stand. bokuto’s waiting for me. i’m sure suna’s waiting for you, too.”

he leaves her after that, and she’s left staring at the flowers suna brought her. she can’t get akaashi’s words out of her head, and her heart won’t calm down. she tries to take a breath before walking back to her wall.

she sees omi just as she returns, and he gives her a nod, which roughly translates to he’ll talk to her later, but he glances back at suna and she knows he’s purposefully leaving them alone.

she comes up from behind, moving to stand beside him and follows his eyes to see the picture he’s looking at. it’s her favorite one of the bunch, the one she had posted last on her twitter, saving the best for last. she hadn’t even taken it recently, it was a picture from nearly a year ago that she had been saving for the right time. “what do you think?” she asks with a playful smile. “this is your first time seeing this side of my photography, right?”

he turns to face her, but his eyes stay staring at the photo for a second longer as if he can’t look away. “it’s stunning. i mean– i feel like i don’t even know what’s right to say, sorry,” he breaks eye contact with her to look down towards the floor and her laugh brings his attention back to her.

“you don’t have to apologize for complimenting me. there’s no right way to say it, but hearing those words from you means a lot. thank you, suna,” she tells him, trying to keep her tone friendly. if he wanted to question her words, he could, but she wasn’t brave enough to outright tell him anything.

“rin,” he corrects. when she looks at him, frowning in confusion, he clarifies, “you called me suna.”

“oh, right. sorry,” she apologizes sheepishly, and it’s her turn to look away. it feels too intimate to call him the name and it nearly gets caught in her throat everytime, but he keeps urging her to call him it and she doesn’t know what to make of that. “any questions you have about any of the pieces? you know how i am, i can go on for hours about anything photography related.”

he turns back to the work she initially found him looking at, “no. i mean, i think all of your pictures were great, and the titles really hit. isn’t finding a meaning for yourself part of the fun? haven’t you said that before?” she nods at his question, mumbling a small thank you. “i think if anything, i’m just confused by this one. it’s– it’s us. we took this picture together. last year. but you said the theme of this group is ‘home’ so it’s the only one i can’t figure out. how is this home?”

“oh,” she says, her mouth working faster than her mind. “that’s easy, well i guess for me–” even when he turns to look back at her, sharp yellow eyes looking into her own, it doesn’t stop her from saying the next few words. “it’s here because to me, you are home. all of the other pictures are mainly centered around childhood homes but the night we took that picture is when i really realized i had found a new home. a new place to belong.”

when he doesn’t respond, the realization of what she just said kicks in and she breaks eye contact, her stomach turning as she plays with her fingers nervously. “oh god– sorry. that probably sounded really weird. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or be sappy–”

“y/n,” he cuts her off, the knuckles of one of his fingers under her chin gently guiding her face up back to look at him before he seems to realize what he’s doing and drops his hand back to the side of his hip. “it wasn't sappy. i just didn’t expect you to say that,” he explains with a small smile, and this time she can’t look away. she feels like she’s only being pulled in farther to him. “can i ask you about the other pictures, too? i just want to know how you see them.”

“of course, i mean– if you’re willing to listen. just tell me to stop if you get bored,” she already feels like she’s rambling and she hasn’t even started talking. finally, she tears away her eyes to look at her own photos, deciding on which one to talk about first.

but he's still looking at her. there's nowhere else he wants to look; even in front of her own work, nothing is more beautiful than her.

“i’m willing. i’ll listen to all of it.”

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

suna thought it'd be funny when he was buying flowers with omi to be like "oh man these are kind of expensive and i'm broke. you think you can pay for mine too?"

omi just looked at him asking, "is she not worth everything to you? is she not worth the money to buy flowers for?"

suna immediately dropped the joke

NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE A SORT OF FLASHBACK ! i'll make that clear there as well but just so we're all on the same page <3

one more chapter of slight hurt/comfort and then we're silly again!!!

kenma continued to have a stare off with a girl across from him and would get all snarky whenever someone came to his display and not hers LMAO

hopefully the images i chose for y/n's exhibit are okay :) i had a theme going for them and they feel a little mismatched but to me every single one of them is important

omi hung out with akaashi and bokuto and then kenma before leaving. he texted y/n later about his thoughts and how well she did but he left to give suna and y/n time to themselves :)

suna stayed with her until closing

she didn't even realize how fast time was going. a lot of other people came to look at her pictures as well and many stayed to listen while she was explaining her thoughts behind each photo to suna

a lot of things went unsaid that night. suna wanted to say he felt the same way after y/n explained the picture of them together but thought that was too much

thank u guys as always for reading <3

taglist: @0moonii @iluvmang @bluebeanbee @wyrcan @oyasumeii @froyaoya @gyuijns @nbcvs @milkteade @eggyrocks @guitarstringed-scars @makkir0ll @mylahrins @cherrypieyourface @vivian-555 @sharkerino @r0seandth0rns @staileykout @lunavixia @thvvluvr @elliott0o0 @wolffmaiden @rockleeisbaeeee @toges-cough-syrup @cnnmairoll @ryeyeyer @hibernatinghamster @localgaytrainwreck @lemonocity @bows4life @sereniteav @madiexuberant @eclecticeggknightpsychic @phoenix-eclipses @sonicsolos @httpakkeiji @brkfclub @snail-squasher @starry-magicshop @cr4yolaas @kitnootkat @zzzlevislothzzz @iluv-ace @iluvaquaphor @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @applepi25 @twiishaa @girlkissersco @sleepystrwbrryy @encrypta

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

Thinking about kaveh’s newly found confidence in his relationship with alhaitham, in that he can openly talk about things with ease, such as seemingly mundane things such as his day, while previously personal information was not been shared between them due to their strained rapport and kaveh’s unease with how he fits into alhaitham’s life, such as kaveh going to the desert during the archon quest and not telling alhaitham. Previously viewing himself as a hindrance in alhaitham’s space, taking on all the household chores out of guilt, now kaveh actively takes up the space, both in the house and in alhaitham’s day.

Kaveh sits on the table in the living room because he feels comfortable in their living space, he feels comfortable to do so, as well as sharing wine, and snacks, because he knows alhaitham won’t reject him. they share their evenings together, kaveh buys coffee beans for the two to try together, kaveh buys wine for them to drink together at home, kaveh talks about things of interest in his day, which alhaitham shows active interest in – which is such a contrast to their previous rapport, in which kaveh avoided being upfront with alhaitham due to his perception of alhaitham as critical or judgemental and ultimately misunderstanding him

kaveh doesn’t think twice about picking up research on the temple of silence with alhaitham, despite how it mirrors their past thesis of king deshret and how it manifested in their differences pushing them apart, he openly offers to help alhaitham – in fact, he doesn’t even ask, he hears alhaitham’s unspoken request and responds to it in kind, agreeing to combine their efforts where they had previously rejected each other

when alhaitham excuses himself from the gathering at puspa’s café, saying that it’s him ‘done for the day’, kaveh follows this up with asking alhaitham if they should head to the house of daena before returning home. Kaveh is confident in his position as a priority in alhaitham’s life, whereas before, he couldn’t understand what alhaitham wanted from him, but here, kaveh understands that alhaitham simply wants kaveh’s presence – kaveh is assured enough in this to separate himself from alhaitham’s excuse to leave the gathering, he states ‘should we’, coupling himself with alhaitham, as he knows alhaitham won’t reject him – and alhaitham doesn’t reject him at all, in fact he shares the same mind as kaveh, stating ‘my thoughts exactly’ in the two leaving the company of the party, and heading home together. The two now have shared, aligned priorities – each other, and this is known between them

kaveh is all too aware of their differences, believing them to be mirror opposites, but, unlike alhaitham, he previously believed them to be ultimately misaligned – having opposing views to never intersect, whereas alhaitham believed that kaveh, as his mirror, was integral to the enhancement of his world and of his character. Now, kaveh has not only accepted himself as alhaitham’s mirror, seeing the benefit in the two of them finally working together once more, but also is comfortable with this, with this importance that he has in alhaitham’s life. rather than being guilt ridden about the burden he perceives he places on alhaitham, he accepts and enjoys alhaitham’s regard of him, as now this is an expressly mutual sentiment.

Kaveh is now confident in alhaitham’s esteem of him, his care, his intentions. he knows how tenuous their relationship was and the harm they caused each other, and he’s accepted this, and he’s moved on, alongside alhaitham, and together they’re building something familiar, and completely new, for themselves. Rather than rejecting alhaitham out of pride for his scholarly principles and any lingering hurt, he has accepted alhaitham, the other side of the mirror, and in this, he has accepted himself, and now, he can finally make steps to move on, to better himself, alongside alhaitham

[biocrafthero]

"I'd rather have you than three meals a day.": a thematic analysis

In February of 2024, a comic sprung up created by tumblr user Diesel (username rontra) based off of the Persona series. This comic, known under the title of "I'd rather have you than three meals a day." (which I will refer to as "failteacher yuri" for short), follows the story of two characters from the series: Isako Toriumi from Persona 3 and Sadayo Kawakami from Persona 5. These two characters find themselves entangled in each others' lives by complete happenstance, the comedic framing slowly revealing its fangs of intrigue and drama as more and more of both of their pasts come to light. Today, we will be discussing how the author explores themes of self-acceptance and facing one's past.

A small foreword...

As of the time I'm writing this, there are currently only 19 updates out so far of failteacher yuri, with a 20th on the way. I tried not to rush this analysis, but I also got really excited to write it! And also it's 4am!! So if I missed anything I am so so sorry...!!!

Next, I will be partially referring to characters in accordance with this chart, since this is important to the themes of the self in my opinion. Sometimes I don't specify. Bear with me a little please...

The True Self

There is the obvious point to start with, which is Toriumi accepting the fact that she is a lesbian. This is our beginning conflict in the story—quite literally in the very first page of the series—and it is the spark from which this story begins. As the story progresses, she grows more and more comfortable with her sexuality, trying more and more things with Becky.

The opening to #10 puts it quite well:

Toriumi is simply known by that when at work, a formal and polite guise. With her friends online, she's known under her username Y'ko. When fully alone, she is simply Isako. We meet her in the reverse order of this, knowing her first in a causal setting and graduating into higher grades of formality.

On Kawakami's side of things, we see that the idea of the persona is much more literal in the character of Becky. In a way, we meet her in the opposite way we need Isako, the difference between wearing the mask and having nothing to hide behind.

When she isn't under the guise of Becky and known formally at work as Kawakami, we simply are left with Sadayo. We meet her in this order, knowing her first with the mask on, watching it slowly slip as we begin to know more about her personal life.

These lines are neatly drawn for us and the characters at the start, the divide between these social masks cleanly cut. However, as time goes on and the relationship between the two deepen to new depths, the idea of the mask begins to mix with the true self, most notably in Kawakami's arc. As put nicely in #18...

Comparisons to the Satoshi Kon film Perfect Blue have already been made by others, and even though failteacher yuri is noticeably different from the psychological horror story that the film covers, there are those elements of self-identity and the "real you" that make the comparison extremely interesting.

In the comic, it begins to grow increasingly more unclear for our characters which persona they're exactly speaking to in the moment—which words are intended for which mask, both to leave the lips of and fall upon the ears of. Which "you" is the "real you" if they all begin to feel the same—if the lines begin to blur?

The Burden of our Histories

Kawakami is the clear example of the two to start this section out with. The main thing Kawakami is hiding from Toriumi has to do with why she needs all of the money she scrambles for in the first place, which is revealed to us in #17.

Kawakami has a secret to keep, and it's that she has been sending money to a former student's family, the student's name being Taiki. While in the comic it is unclear what may have happened to him, the usage of the word "forgive" implies that he had died, and that incident is either related to or has been blamed on Kawakami somehow.

The family demands money from her, more than her normal teacher's salary could possibly provide, so she turned to working at Victoria in order to make payments on time. With the tolls going up, though, who knows how long she can keep destroying herself...

But, of course, this isn't her only secret that she's kept. In #11, it's revealed that she took the Kanken at Level 1, the highest possible, and consequently the most difficult of all. At first, it's presented like it's an incredible feat, but this perception is shifted by Kawakami's own, believing it to have been something useless for the direction her life ended up going in.

The narration and informative boxes even begin to bend to the character's thoughts, becoming more and more unclear if the information the black boxes give in this update are objective or subjective, blurring the lines.

As much as Toriumi tries to hype up Kawakami and her accomplishments, the latter will simply never be able to see beyond her own self-perception.

Something that I also want to point out is how failteacher yuri utilizes onomatopoeia, creating a sense of pressure on our characters. It's almost comparable to the manga The Summer Hikaru Died, in which onomatopoeia is used to either create or alleviate tension in a scene, the sounds of the environments becoming almost deafening. The specific update from failteacher yuri I want to point towards is #18, which uses the sound of the rain in the background to create a barrier between Kawakami and Toriumi, with a side-by-side with a more recent update of The Summer Hikaru Died:

Kawakami isn't the only one keeping secrets, though. Toriumi, while much more subtle about it, is keeping a key part of her past hidden up her sleeve, and this has to do with the moon. Blink and you miss it, only overtly pointed out in update #13 and then much more quietly in #19, she continuously shows aversion to the moon, specifically the full one.

It's not like Kawakami hasn't caught on, either! During a small scene with Becky talking towards the audience at the start of #15 (the nefarious Becky is known to break the 4th wall), if you look closely, you can see that one of her notes reads "Scared of moon." I haven't played Persona 3 yet, so I can't give any fun lore insights, but what I do know is that the moon in that game is important and that Toriumi likely witnessed something she shouldn't have.

Additionally, there is also all of the stuff involving "A," which heavily has to do with Toriumi's arc of self-acceptance. Likely, something may have happened to "A" outside of Toriumi's control, and thus giving her a lot of complicated feelings about the subject. I personally don't expect a clear answer for what happened to "A," but it's still important to bring up.

Both parties are taking notice of where the other lets a part of their history slip, but neither have enough on them to be able to bring it up reasonably and not sound like they're taking crazy. Although, an inevitable tipping point is bound to be reached, especially with both of their troubles growing and growing. Something is bound to give.

How it comes together, in simple words...

Both Toriumi and Kawakami are dealing with very similar struggles, but they fight themselves tooth and nail on two different fronts, creating miscommunications and conflict between the two of them (and in some cases, outright lying). They are trying to navigate their increasingly dire presents all while their pasts haunt them, figuring things out and what they truly want from both themselves and each orher. What they want may not exactly be what they need, either, leading to further internal and external conflicts.

#13 succinctly states the ideas presented in the whole story so far, along with an amazing visual to boot:

(I can't fit it here, but I highly encourage checking out the tarot meanings from #13 as well, which are linked at the end up the update, which you can view here.)

To put it simply, to lie to yourself and to others means to sacrifice, from relationships to self-perception. The only way to break free is to let go, to be your true self and to accept and face your past. The only way out is through.

[bunji-enthusiast]

I don't know if anyone did this but think about it's an actual angle reader male and female and both are couple who com to find they're friends and help the toys they save the smiling critters and dogday and also trying to help Theodore because i still feel bad for him and btw love your writing

Angelic Demeanors

Note || your request was kind of wordy… I also kinda had to change it up a little. Hope this was okay <3

WC || 2,669

Sypnosis || There are all types of couples, but they certainly didn’t expect to find such a wonderful pair, earnest in helping but yet far off from asking for help themselves.

The pair of you and your girlfriend would be, what many would call, the perfect couple. It mostly only bothered you a little bit, as perfection in a sense is unattainable, perfection is non-existent in your opinion. Humans are alive, toys are alive, every single pair of the few are fine and there. Why try to go to lengths unachievable anyhow? Life was okay, it was peaceful. Then it all happened, how you and your girlfriend had quit the day before all your coworkers disappeared.

You genuinely felt so guilty for leaving the toys alone, your partner had expressed the same sentiment. It was in your nature of goodness as angels to express sadness and clear guilt out of an action one causes, even if it isn’t your fault. Emotional maturity was something you had difficulty in dealing with, whereas your girlfriend was better experienced with the concept. You didn’t know what to do, the guilt was simply eating away at you both. Though strange enough, a new emotion arose between the two of you one day.

A mysterious envelope in the mail, containing a VHS tape and a piece of parchment paper. How old, yet fitting for the age of its time. Your curiosity had peaked when your partner had read the paper, reading as it followed; ‘Everyone thinks the staff left 10 years ago. We’re still here, find the flower.’ How you best believe that you wanted to go back, all that guilt you two had worked over had finally gotten the best of you two.

Having finally come back to the old ruins of Playtime Co. your girlfriend was scared, timid at most. She didn’t entirely like how it all looked now, how lovely it used to be all those years ago. You reassured her it was fine, that you two had to power through in order to find your friends and toys that you had cared for before quitting (or otherwise fired, your memory was fuzzy). She wasn’t all that reassured despite your attempts, but had said you were right.

The hellhole of having to face Huggy was completely out of the ordinary, you didn’t want to kill him. Neither did she, but you had the unfortunate ability to be the one to kill him. Dropping that damned box on him which had caused the bridge to collapse and resulted in him falling, in earnest; the sounds clanging the way they did, and Huggy falling, had gotten a bit of a laugh out of you. To which your girlfriend had glared at you for, swatting the side of your arm and at that, you had quieted down. Now with opening the case, you were in for a real ride.

Poppy was finally released, in a sense – she had thanked you for. You weren’t sure what to make of this, but nothing in this factory was anything but normal anyway. Having side-eyed each other, you and your girlfriend sighed. You two had gone along for the ride which no doubt is going to be more harsh. 

Dealing with Mommy Long Legs was an absolute nightmare you never wanted to deal with, it seemed she was entirely against the Prototype anyway. You wished you could have convinced her to side with you, Poppy and your girlfriend. This whole place was an abundance of nightmares you never wanted to deal with, but by going back, you and your partner fully knew what you were both getting into. Certainly Playtime Co. had an abundance of mysteries even you were well unaware of.

But it was one thing for sure, your little allegiance as a group wanted any and all ways to stop the Prototype at all costs. To end the torment and madness for all the toys still alive and living, and to gain revenge for those lost. You believe those lost did not deserve what they went through, nor the living. This was a whole intricate trial of webs that had your head beginning to hurt. 

You reckon heaven was no longer a place for angels anymore, not one human has been found the longer you went through this place with your girlfriend. Lady luck was certainly already abetted, you and your girlfriend had been exhausted every minute you both had gone through this place.

Soon you all are certainly gonna see yourselves dead.

“Haha,” you let out a heavy breath, “maybe if I was a holier man, er ya know maybe God would actually lend us a hand.” You mention offhandedly, looking through the rubble left in the dusty airs of the permeating mist of iron. A more feminine tone chimed in, “You know well to not speak unkindly of him.” You sigh at her words, knowing she was right. You just were, to put it into better words, real peeved. No way in the seven rings of hell were you gonna admit that aloud to your girlfriend anyway, that would just be plain awkward and wrong to say. Or even to think of for that matter.

“Well let’s be honest here, darlin..” You begin, taking off another piece of rubble as you adjust the stance of your knees. “My wings are real withered in comparison to yours, pretty and angelic as they should be.” If that was blunt honesty, you always wondered why your girlfriend even decided to stay in a relationship with you anyway. 

Out of your views, she adorned a shocked expression on her face, caught off guard as to why you would self-deprecate in such a way. She began walking over to your side, suddenly catching you in her embrace as you felt the warmth of her hug seeping into your cold and bruised body. “If I were known to the high divines, I’d be privy to my love. You that love in particular,” A soft smile adorned her chapped lips, “Honestly, I wouldn’t have lasted long in health or entirety without your guidance.”

You chuckle, “I ain’t no righteous man, not that deserving of you or anything in particular.” The concurrent atmosphere had sunken into your willed and strong spirit, “Your fine and strong like any angel or human in the world.” She simply stayed quiet, squeezing your body close to her as she had allowed herself to embrace you a little longer. 

For a moment almost, you felt the feathery sensations crawling up your back, evenly spread. “Dear..” You spoke in a scolding tone, that cute smile of hers had turned into a mischievous grin. “Ah, don’t blame me! They act of their own free will.”

She held out a hand, interlocking her two most prominent fingers as a sign of honesty as you spoke in reply. 

“Uh-huh.” You looked at her with knowing eyes.

“Well, we don’t have nothin’ to lose anyway.” You mention, trying to get the two of you back on track to get where you need to go. 

When you arrived, Home Sweet Home appeared to have wooden floors and walls, and its rooms were filled with bunk beds. The beds all have Playtime Co. pillows and sheets with blue mattresses. Like other locations in Playcare, Home Sweet Home's walls and floor are covered in CatNap's claw marks and inscriptions. 

Inside there are multiple types of sleeping arrangements, both single/double bedrooms and large communal barracks on the upper floors. In the center of these barracks is a large Bobby BearHug statue which when powered will turn towards any person in line of sight. The location also features multiple secret doors leading to staff areas of the facility, these were normally off limits to kids. There is a large central foyer which acts as a central hub for the facility, along with laundry rooms in the basement. 

The walls of Home Sweet Home are decorated with many photographs of children, presumably those who were adopted out or sent off for processing as part of the Bigger Bodies Initiative. The facility has some form of security system that enters lockdown during the ‘night’ restricting movement between sections.

Oh this really brought back memories for you, the children here were vastly different, yet similar in nature. You wished that you could’ve done so much more beyond just caring for them, but neither you or your girlfriend were superiors at the time. Only just employee’s, real good ones too. The both of you had always remained stationed in Playcare, caring for the children and keeping an eye on the Playcare Attendants. CatNap especially, oh you felt for poor Ms. Harper. You’d never forget the distressed looks she had on her face, having even changed just a little after the interview you heard was quite strange and somewhat disastrous in specific circumstances. 

It felt really odd to you how you remembered the whole layout of Home Sweet Home for some reason, best to think on that later anyhow. You needed to turn on the generator and the likes, then plug it in. Then the next building you’d guess would be the Playhouse, the both of you had taken a look around in case any of you had gotten lost or separated from each other. 

You knew the Home Sweet Home building may as well have been a very creepy place, just not to the point that CatNap would make a few appearances as he so wished. Your girlfriend had a better time with it as you both had been hallucinating before, beret with guilt and bloody memories. You and your girlfriend had pulled through regardless, it was all strange and crazy. Children gone and missing, no doubt having been turned into living toys.

Sure you both were filled with guilt, but did CatNap really have to remind you of every little thing? CatNap needed to be stopped, and be stopped now, the way he had viewed the Prototype was insane. He would die like every other toy if he didn’t turn his views around, you wanted to save all your friends, and that was CatNap included too. 

Finally leaving the Home Sweet Home building, both of you had to stop and look at each other. Trying to make sense if what you both saw was real and the same thing, you tilt your head at her, “Did we?-” and at that she responded quickly, “Yeah.” Your head hung low, you sighed and began walking forward. “Let’s not sit around waiting for someone to kill us-”

You yelp as your vision flashed full of colors, your girlfriend looked up to see what happened – concern dressing her face. “Wha– Kissy?!” You groan, gripping her wrist, surprised how strong she was at holding you down. Another voice interjected, snapping you out of your panic.

“Stop! Stop!” Poppy exclaimed, trying to get Kissy to stop harming you as she held out her hands defensively as if she was trying to protect you physically. “They’re friends.” At Poppy’s words, Kissy seemed to have calmed down. Your girlfriend ran over to you as she realized that Kissy wasn’t an enemy, “You alright?” You groan once more, rubbing your shoulder and rolling it to pop a bone. “As okay as I can be, you?” You asked in reply, now dusting yourself off from making contact with the ground. 

She had reassured you she was fine, then you both were cut off as Poppy began talking. Saying that you two deserve at least some proper answers, and to actually turn the light back on. So that was what was done. It had also surprised you when she mentioned the Smiling Critters, all of them were hiding in the school. 

“Wait,” You held out your hand to intervene on her monologue, she paused waiting with what you had to say. “You mean to say we could’ve looked there first?” A clear angry tone was evident beneath your steady and usually calm one. Your girlfriend lended a hand, laying it on your shoulder as she nodded ‘no’ to not lose control of your temper. You sigh, leaning back on the rail as the elevator had made its way back down.

Poppy had a mournful look on her face, as if she were pitying you. Your girlfriend certainly hated that, Poppy sighed in return to your own earlier. “Yes, but we need you both! You kill Huggy,” You raise a brow as you notice that Kissy stopped rubbing her arm at the mention of Huggy. “You killed Mommy, I think we have a real chance here. To stop all the madness, this confusion… please.”

That was the last thing you heard come out of her mouth when you left the elevator, leaving them to their vices. You were glad Ollie was guiding the pair of you, but now you were just irritable, angry enough and nearly close to causing drama, any drama of the sorts. To say the least, she was concerned for you, deciding to mention the school. “Maybe we should check it first, before anything else?” Being as it may, you were in no room to argue with her. She was like your rock. 

Poppy was sure as hell right, they were all there after all. It was nice to be reunited with them all again, save for DogDay or CatNap. You were overwhelmed with the age-old nostalgia; Bobby Bearhug, Craftycorn, Hoppy Hopscotch, KickinChicken, PickyPiggy and Bubba Bubbaphant. 

They were real, your old friends were real. But you know DogDay, he wasn’t one to be giving up to CatNap so easily. So you left your girlfriend with the smiling critters, who promised you they would keep her safe and happy while you had gone. You didn’t want her wrapped up in whatever may happen next, who knows what you’d do if she died on you. 

The stupid miniature versions of the Plushtoys were insufferable! But it was relief that had washed over you when you finally escaped them, having turned on the playhouse generator, it was odd how the door led to a pool anyhow. You don’t remember a pool being here. You trudge on anyway, there wasn’t a whole lot left that could phase you at this point.

A wonderful thing was to be greeted with cells (sarcasm, heard of it?), colorful cells and a colorful hallway full of rubbish. You wished you could clean it up with a snap of your fingers, like anywhere else, but you couldn’t risk being found out if you are an angel. You had to pretend to remain human, unfortunately – you woulda had more freedom if you had a higher rank. But you just were a regular angel, nothing more. 

When you walked by a certain cell, a familiar voice rang in your mind. “You! Your poppy’s angel, come to save us..” He breathed out wearily, preparing to speak further when you had all of the sudden snatched his chest, the hand gripping onto him as he let out a yowl when you had held him tightly and close. “Why?”

Without missing a beat, you respond, “Everyone deserves to live, even you too.” You chuckle warmly in spite of all the tiny miniature smiling critters chasing you both. “Besides, dontcha wanna see all your friends again?” DogDay sputtered, letting out a gasp as he re-adjusted himself. He couldn’t believe this, no way was this true. 

“I have seen them all die, I thought they were dead.” he spoke with a hint of finality, still in disbelief at how you had suddenly taken him with you – throwing out a piece of information he had long let go of before. “Angel, you are speaking the truth?”

“Mmh-Hmph!” You let out a noise of agreement, continuing to make your way back to Home Sweet Home.

When you had finally made your back, all but your girlfriend were surprised. She had confidence in your abilities to survive, despite her habit of worrying about you. DogDay was amazed, finally being able to reunite with all the smiling critters, despite the fact everything was sort of mostly in chaos.

Now the last one to save in Playcare was CatNap.

[lonesome-sometimes]

your favourite centrefold

I was bored and wrote this with nasty cherry on repeat do not take any of this seriously anyway

you were aware of the types of men that came to drink in bars like this one at this time of night - more specifically the types of men you simply couldn’t stop coming back for.

matty healy x female reader

content warnings: unprotected sex, dom matty, semi-public sex, cheating, alcohol, face and pussy slapping, cum play, use of “sir” and daddy kink, degradation, manhandling, age gap, rough sex, thigh fucking, slut shaming (??)

minors do not interact!

you were aware of the types of men that came to drink in bars like this one at this time of night - more specifically the types of men you simply couldn’t stop coming back for.

you pull your dress up a little higher, leaving nothing to the imagination as you move further into the room knowing it all too well by now. asking the bartender for your usual poison of choice, you lean up against the dark wood searching for your weekly fill.

It was a tuesday night, nothing too special but you were bored and felt the need to start your weekend early. fortunately for you that meant the place was close to being empty while also meaning your task was much easier - especially when you see him.

you had never seen him before - you would remember every inch of him if you had. sitting at the bar nursing what seemed to be a whiskey was probably the hottest man you had ever seen in your life. the wife beater he was wearing hugged his shoulders and back so perfectly, showing off the number of tattoos covering his arms, as well as grey curls that were mostly slicked back. the few that refused to be tamed making home on his forehead instead.

he was perfect and you needed him.

you finish your drink as fast as possible before making your way towards him. you notice the cigarettes and lighter sitting next to his drink, as well as his open wallet with a picture of what seems to be him and his girlfriend? wife? making the situation so much more fun and him more attractive than you found him before. he finally notices you as you slide up next to him, bracketing him in between yourself and the wall. he gives you a quick glance over, the wetness between your legs pooling by the second as he seems somewhat unimpressed.

you take him in, noticing the light stubble dusting his cheeks while trying not to drown in his scent - a mix of faint cologne, cigarettes and what is definitely another woman’s perfume - before mustering up the courage to actually speak.

“hey.”

he actually fucking smirks at you, seeming to find the situation amusing as he takes a sip of his drink and sighs dramatically. “so, you’re the girl my mate george warned me about, hm?”

your eyes widen, not expecting that to come out of his mouth. endless faces began flowing through your mind until you remember the one he’s talking about. george. he had been both sweet and cruel when you needed him to be, tall and handsome and he had fucked you so, so well in the backseat of his car after you sucked his cock for him in the toilets. how could you forget about george?

If you ever went back in for a second helping, he would be the absolute top of your list. however you had made a promise to yourself when you first started this whole ordeal that you would never fuck the same man twice, and you were determined to keep it that way.

“I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re talking about?” you say sweetly, playing innocent and cocking your head to the side, twirling your curls around your fingertips which only had the man shaking his head in fake annoyance.

“unlucky for you, I don’t fuck pretty girls that whore themselves out in dive bars. take your act elsewhere, I’m not interested.”

well, that was new.

you pout, suddenly not liking the surprise of a challenge. usually you had the men that came here drooling after you, unable to resist the temptation of a sweet, young thing begging to be fucked by a much older man in such a degrading way. you swallow your pride, accepting the little game he’s started.

“who said anything about fucking? maybe I just wanted to talk to you. It seems like you are the one with an idea, sir.” you knew adding on the title at the end was asking for trouble but you didn’t really care at this point, again feeling defeated when he doesn’t even flinch. “If you’re offering though, I could be so very good for you. did george tell you how good I am at sucking cock?”

“I thought you didn’t know who that was? good girls don’t lie, princess. especially not to dirty, old men like me.” he warns, slowly losing his patience. you keep up this game of back and forth for a little longer, rubbing his shoulder and smiling coyly. you quickly learn that his name is Matty, going dumb when you eventually notice what is definitely a wedding ring shining proudly on his hand. you turn to batting your eyelashes and giggling a little too loudly just like you knew how instead in hopes it would do something, anything at this point. fuck, he was hot.

his grip on his glass tightens before he finishes the last of the liquor, slamming it down on the top and startling you out of your daydream in the process. he turns back to you, becoming increasingly annoyed as well as desperate the longer you stare back. “sweet, dumb thing. didn’t your daddy ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”

“no, you never taught me anything like that, daddy.”

that seems to be what sends him over the edge as he stands up, grabbing your wrist tightly as he pulls you outside. you couldn’t contain your giggles of excitement, high on the adrenaline from the alcohol and the fact that you had actually won and were promised an actual good fuck. he continues to drag you down the side of the building, crowding you up against the wall of the dimly lit alleyway that you had become far too familiar with.

he pushes the hem of your baby pink dress up your thighs, revealing the angelic white lace that barely covers your wetness. he slaps over your covered clit, holding your jaw firmly in place as he does so. “needy little girl, you think this is fun and games, don’t you? all I wanted was to come here for a little quiet drink, to get away from my annoying fucking wife, but here I am stuck putting girls like you in their place.”

you whine loudly as he pushes your panties down your legs, letting them gather down at your heels. you paint the perfect image of a whore and you wouldn’t have it any other way as long as he kept touching you. he roughly spins you around so your face is pressed up against the brick, melting against his hold when you finally hear the zip of his pants.

“what are you smiling at, huh? what’s got you so happy?” he spits, keeping your head in place as he begins to stroke his cock till he’s fully hard which doesn’t take long. you were a little disappointed that you weren’t going to get to see it or feel it on your tongue, but you couldn’t be too upset given the circumstances. you totally forgot he had asked you a question though until he’s slapping your face, cheek blooming under his blow as he demands an answer from you and fast.

you blink a couple times before the brain fog subsides for a second, allowing you to form a somewhat coherent sentence. “m just so happy you’re gonna fuck me, daddy. can’t wait to be full of your cock.” you answer sincerely, anticipating the feel of his length entering you at any second and pushing your ass out in hopes it’ll speed things up.

except it never comes.

Instead, you hear that dark chuckle from earlier come back from behind you. confused, you try and spread your legs but he forcefully closes them again, keeping a hand tightly on the small of your back and holdind you in place. you gasp when you eventually feel the head of his leaking cock press between the gap inbetween your thighs, a drop of precum falling and trickling down them as you realise what is actually happening.

“I thought I told you I wasn’t going to fuck you, or are you just too cock hungry to remember, darling? who knows where this slutty fucking pussy has been?” he reaches round and slaps your clit again, causing you to cry out at the harsh treatment. “that doesn’t mean you get to spend your time teasing me, getting me hard and aching without doing anything about it.” and with that, he pushes his cock directly between your thighs.

he groans loudly, going slow as he adjusts to the tightness of your legs squeezing his cock just right. you whimper as he picks up his pace, slowly realising you weren’t about to get a good fuck at all. you sick basterd.

he uses you like a sex doll, fucking your thighs fast and needily until you can sense he’s about to cum due to the fact he’s the most vocal he’s been the whole night. “such a fucking whore, yeah? letting me use you however I want? getting fucked in some back alley behind a dirty old bar. you should be so proud of yourself honey. I know I am, fuck.”

your cunt clenches at his words, wetness dripping down towards where his cock meets the plush of your thighs. when he feels himself getting close, he quickly pulls out from between them and paints his cum across the backs and the top of your ass, stroking himself though it while reaching around to grope at your tits through the thin material of your dress

when he’s done, he gathers his cum between his fingers and shoves them directly into your neglected cunt, pushing the cum deeper and deeper and almost getting you embarrassingly close to the edge. he then quickly pushes his digits past your pretty pink lips, letting you suck the taste of you both from them as the coolness of his wedding ring keeps pressing against your cheek. “here you go, baby. I’m so kind and thoughtful, how about you thank me for not using your cum dump hm? that’ll give you some time to tighten up before some other perverted, married man gets to fuck you.”

you smile, half dazed and exhausted as the pleasure in your core begins to subside and you’re able to think more clearly. you turn your head, giggling when you realise something that he doesn’t know. you sigh sweetly as you always do, giving him your best doe eyes before saying, “thank you for not fucking my cunt, daddy.”

he never actually fucked you, or even made you cum for that matter, meaning you never broke your only rule. as you lean down to pull up your panties and pull down your dress, you secretly hope that the married man with curly hair decides to come back very soon.

[adore-laur]

WINDS OF CHANGE

— here’s an update on dad harry & the fam <3 please reblog/comment, or i will haunt you

——

You've been dreading this day since March began.

Every time you passed the calendar on the refrigerator, you averted your eyes so you didn't see the specific date circled with the words "Lovebug's First Day" written inside it.

Time ticked by in an unyielding manner. Like an apex predator lying in wait, it crept up on you and pounced, leaving you disoriented, helpless, and wounded. You couldn't mentally process the breakneck speed of reality sprinting straight at you. When you merely blinked in a daze, another month unfurled, leaving no chance to recover.

The day arrives with a strong western wind and a brilliantly bright sunrise that mocks your low spirits. You're awake before anyone else, which is rare. Sleep evaded you last night, your eyes rejecting the heaviness that always comes with sleeping in Harry's warm embrace. The restlessness was paired with a fierce ache clutching your heart and holding on tight until the early morning.

At almost four years old, your eldest daughter is attending preschool today. After being a stay-at-home mom since she was born, you're finally setting her free to grow somewhere new. It was always in the cards, considering you would like to get back to working part-time to help provide for the family. You love bonding with and nurturing both your girls, but you're eager to put your brain to use in a different environment. It's time to return to other identities besides being a mother and a wife.

You begin brewing coffee, then open the kitchen curtains to allow the sun to pour in. For some odd reason, the atmosphere feels different. It feels like your first day of school all over again, where there's that nostalgic zest in the air fused with an underlying fear of the unknown. It's impossible to describe lucidly, but its presence is strongly felt nonetheless.

Today will forever change your family's routine, and it will make you want to rip your hair out and also burst with pride. There's a tug-of-war match taking place in your heart right now. Your nerves feel frayed; anxiety's merciless hands are harshly plucking at the threads. It's like fighting a biological battle with no shield—your brain is futile against all the attacks.

The sound of the wooden stairs creaking dissolves your whirlwind thoughts. Harry appears, wearing a snug black sweater and athletic shorts. He yawns, the sparkling sunlight accentuating his face gorgeously—the neatly trimmed scruff on his jaw he kept throughout winter; the tired shape of his eyes; the wispy way his hair curls after his morning shower. It's a blessing to be able to see the serene side of him that just woke up and isn't burdened by stress.

"Hi, sweetheart," he says, taking the mug of black coffee you prepared for him and sipping with an appreciative hum. "Both kids are still asleep."

You simply nod, afraid that if you speak, your poise will crumble instantaneously. Your hands distract themselves by lighting the wick of a sandalwood-scented candle. A part of you falsely hopes the comforting aroma will calm you down, but you know nothing will break through the full-body anxiety you're currently experiencing.

"No cuddles in bed this morning?" Harry asks curiously, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. He smells like his sage and citrus body wash. "I missed you. Thought we'd have a little cry session before leaving."

Did he really have to mention the elephant in the room? You force your tears to save their arrival for later and say, "Sorry. I'm just trying to avoid crying as much as possible today."

His sigh is weighted with emotion as he sets his mug down and massages your shoulders. "I'm losing my composure already," he admits, laughing weakly.

At least he's in the same boat as you. Being a father has cracked him open in the best way possible—he's more softened than ever, and these parenting milestones always make him tenderhearted.

You rest your head against his chest and say, "This is harder than I thought it'd be." Every outcome you predicted involved an aching heart. Now, in the thick of it, you're defenseless.

"Remember our first night at home with her?" Harry asks, applying pressure with his thumbs to get rid of the muscle knots in your shoulder blades.

"Yeah. You woke me up because she had the hiccups."

He groans into your neck, almost like he's reliving the panicked moment. "I was so scared something was wrong."

You recall opening your eyes in the dead of night, the mellow lamplight illuminating Harry's troubled expression. Your baby, so small and precious in his arms, had harmless hiccups leaving her mouth. While you were half asleep, you reassured him by saying it was probably because she fed for too long. He agreed, yet still brought her to bed and gently rubbed her tummy until they were gone. You two were learning and tag-teaming through pure exhaustion. It was tough, but the rewards came in refreshing waves.

"Then she threw up on me," Harry adds, shaking his head fondly.

You turn around and slide your palms under his sweater, feeling the gloriously warm skin of his sculpted stomach. "Remember when she said her first word?"

He smiles reminiscently. "Mama."

"You started crying, if I'm not mistaken."

"Because she recognized you. It was special."

"Are you surprised she didn't say Dada first?"

"No, considering I talked about Mama all the time around her." His knuckle strokes under your chin. "Still do."

You hum thoughtfully, welcoming the pleasant memories that replay behind your closed eyelids. "Our girl is all grown up now. What are we going to do?"

Harry tilts your head to kiss the sensitive spot behind your ear. "You and I will be okay. It'll take time, but we'll eventually sink into this new normal."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Our love is steadfast, and nothing will ever change that." He hugs you in an all-consuming way—it's intimate and infuses you with safety, warmth, and a hopeful spark that everything will patch together the way it's supposed to.

——

When the preschool comes into view, you get slammed with immediate sadness.

You toured it with Harry months ago, ensuring it was where you wanted your daughter to be during the weekdays. The curriculum focuses on outdoor learning and is nestled in a safe neighborhood only ten minutes from the beach house. The teachers, classrooms, and overall energy of the place made you less anxious, but now it's back with a vengeance, eating away at your calm facade.

Kids linger outside the building, the sun shining on the blacktop that's scribbled with chalk drawings. A few participate in supervised hopscotch, while others twist their bodies nervously. A gated playground area is off to the left, with colorful swings, slides, and seesaws. To the right is a woodsy area with a large sandbox and flower beds. The stone pathway is decorated with little handprints that must have been dipped in paint. It's darling.

In the rearview mirror, you watch your daughter kick her legs in excitement and hug her tiny ladybug backpack, all ready to go. She woke up happy as a clam and impatiently scarfed down the big breakfast Harry had made her. After that, Harry braided her hair while sitting on the front porch, the March winds and briny air bringing the spring season with them. Pictures were taken, hearts were broken a bit more, and then you all were off to part ways.

Harry to the restaurant; you to your part-time job. No babies to look after, just an empty house waiting to be filled with love again.

Your youngest daughter, who's ten months old now, sleeps peacefully in the car seat. She's getting bigger every day, and it's a double whammy to see both of your children become more cognizant. You want to curse time for being such a thief.

She'll be dropped off at the nearby daycare center next, which will further twist the knife. It's possible for separation anxiety to occur, and while you can handle it, your baby girl's reaction will be a mystery. You sincerely hope the transition from home to somewhere unfamiliar will be smooth sailing.

Harry parks the car and looks over at you unwaveringly. "It's now or never," he whispers.

You draw in a deep breath, then exhale slowly. "Let's go."

Stepping out of the car, you open the back door and let your daughter hop out. You'd walk her to the door, but you want to stay near your youngest.

As she bounces with anticipation, you open her backpack and double-check that she has everything—her lunch box, a change of clothes, sunscreen, and the comfort blanket she's had since she was born. You zip it back up and then unhurriedly help her arms into the straps, trying to stall what happens next.

Harry, never the one to procrastinate, kicks things into gear by crouching and cradling her head. "You have the best day, all right? Be kind, make friends, and have fun. I'll be picking you up later."

"Can we eat ice cream after?" she asks, clasping her hands and standing on her tiptoes. "And play on the beach?"

He kisses her forehead. "We can do whatever you want, lovebug."

You can envision it now. Harry will bring the girls home, exhausted from work. He'll make dinner and wait for you, then you'll all sit at the kitchen table and attentively listen to her talk about her day in great detail. Then, as the sun sets, he'll entertain her by the shore until he insists on bedtime. Come tomorrow, he'll do it again with the same steadfast devotion because that's what good fathers do.

"We love you so much," you say, petting her braided hair.

"Love you," she replies distractedly, eagerly glancing at the front door. "I gotta go now, Mommy. Bye, Daddy."

She turns, ready to break free, but Harry stops her and says, "Not so fast, little lady. Give us some love to get through the day."

She shyly hugs him. She's growing out of her clingy tendencies and becoming more independent, and you can tell by Harry's sad smile that he recognizes it too. She briefly hugs your leg before running to the front door, where teachers are waiting with enthusiastic expressions and name tag stickers.

Harry slowly stands, never taking his eyes off her. He's more adjusted to not seeing her as much during the week than you, but you know the sentiment of her starting school still weighs heavy on his heart. After watching her disappear, he slings his arm around your shoulders and guides you to the car.

Inside is where you fall apart. The first cry that escapes has Harry blowing out an unsteady breath and embracing you. Against your neck, he sniffles, letting his piled-up emotions finally fall to pieces. He's not much of a crier, but when he does, it's a raw sight to see.

"Reservation for a cry session? Table for two?" he says humorously, rubbing your back and lightly scratching it.

"We're so lame," you whisper, gripping his sweater like a vice.

"God, I know. I even packed tissues." Harry takes an on-the-go pack out of his pocket, plucks two tissues out, and wipes both his and your tears with them.

"Eventually, we're going to have to do this again," you say. From the passenger seat, you peek at your baby girl and shoo away the thought—you still have more than enough time with her before she starts school.

Harry kisses your cheek. "One day at a time, honey."

Undoubtedly, this routine will get easier. It will become second nature, and you'll discover the exquisite simplicity of watching your children grow before leaving the nest and soaring through the sky.

They came into this world like a soft spring breeze, carrying seeds and dispersing them into your life. The roots emerged from under your home and flourished into a bountiful garden. Each day, there are new blossoms to admire and appreciate. And each day, you aim to help them thrive with support from Harry's sunshine.

Try as they might, the winds of change won't cause harm. Your family's roots are firm in the ground.

——

[daydreamcloudshiding]

#3 Astrology Observations

People with Venus conjunct Jupiter aspect in natal are such big hearted people. They have so much love to give, the kind to just love love. People are easily charmed by them

Sun-Moon squares in synastry create this competitive vibe between them, especially coming from the Sun person. The Sun person feels like the Moon is trying to overshadow them in some way, even if both are such nice people. The Moon person can feel that the Sun person is overbearing. With Sun-Moon opposites, they simply have difficulties in understanding each other. But with time, they can work it out. But with squares, the competitive vibe can be challenging

People with Venus conjunct Pluto aspect in natal are intense when in love because they believe that when it comes to love, there has to be pain and sacrifices. This doesn't always means that it's toxic, though. It's just means that they are willing to sacrifice for their love, regardless of what other people say

A lot of Scorpios that I've met really wanted that stable, loving, and deep connection in love but always go for those people with toxic tendencies. What this creates is trauma-bonding instead of that stable and deep emotional connections. An example for this would be they will date/marry someone that everyone knows (like it's so painfully obvious) that this person has several toxic ex or abusive relationships, so there's a pattern. They will date this person thinking that they are the one who can handle this person/a relationship with this person. I think that they often mistake intensity with depth, it's not the same so be careful with that

People with a lot of Taurus / 2nd house in their natal chart, careful to not get stuck in your comfort zone

You know how people always talk about how mysterious Scorpios are, how secretive they are? The developed ones are actually the most honest and straightforward people I know, even about their darkest feelings. They are not afraid to admit their own raw and albeit sometimes dark and embarrassing emotions like jealousy, anger, hate, shame, fear, etc. They own up to it, and see if they can make peace with it. If you're childish or somewhat afraid of your own shadow sides, you will not like Scorpios. But if you too can recognise this side of you, you will feel so inspired by them. Ultimately, Scorpios seek to overcome their own limitations. The undeveloped ones will sometimes project this shadow sides onto others and be so judgemental, perfectionistic. But the developed ones? They are so intuitive and have that power within themselves to overcome and make peace with their own weaknesses. Nothing can stop them, not even their own fears. They always rise like the phoenix. This is also may resonate with you if you have 8th house placement in your natal

Something about Scorpio's sister sign as well, which is Taurus, is that people seems to perceived them as greedy, while in my experience with them, it's not about greediness at all. It's about Taurus f*cking love their comfort zone so much that they will hold onto things, people, and places even if they are no longer serve them. The undeveloped ones hates uncertainty so much, while the developed ones will be the ones who is always grounded and stable in uncertain situations. Nothing can break them, they are so resilient. They are not afraid of change, not afraid of a little chaos. This also may resonate with you if you have 2nd house placement in your natal

Uranus in 10th house people have this unstable public image that's just kind of all over the place to be honest. This is my own personal experience with some of them, like one day they dressed very girly and the next time you see them dressed very boyish. They do good things to maintain "good" persona to the public like charity and very focused on their career (like they seem to always working, giving the impression like they are a good hard working person), but at the same time they have no proper plan for their career and they also cheat on their boyfriend or dated questionable people who most likely can or will ruin their public image. I have no idea what to think of them

Pisces MC in composite will make people think that the relationship is simply not making any sense. People will also think that the relationship is fake. There is a spiritual bond here, but mostly it's something that may evoke artistic tendencies. Like if you're an artist, you may only date them so that you can write songs or poetry about them. I'm not saying that it's shallow. But there's that vibe to it

In my experience, people with a lot of water in their chart can be so emotionally unavailable and prone to act selfishly. They get so easily overwhelmed by their own emotions that they may fail to recognise that others too have emotions, perhaps just as intense as theirs. Yes, they may be intuitive, but again and again, they fail to recognise other people's emotions

Again, my own experience, If you have Southnode-Mars synastry, for some reason the southnode person gets easily jealous of the Mars's accomplishment or confidence

A lot of people say how spiritual Pisceans are. In my own experience, it's Sagittarius and Libras who are so spiritual and open-minded. Pisces kind of reminds me a lot of Capricorn, but their approach and how they express themselves is more softer and somehow elusive; both Pisceans and Capricorns are skeptics. But they don't necessarily will express it. Pisces might not do it because they don't want to offend people, while Capricorn might not do it because they simply don't see this as something important. The thing is, if something somehow makes zero sense or give them the impression that it's a loss of their free will, they will not buy it. They actually dislike being perceived too. Pisceans will show this by being secretive or withdrawn, Capricorn by doing the exact opposite of what you tell them. If you tell a Pisces that they are artistic, spiritual, etc they will try to confuse you instead by show less of these characteristics in front of you, while Capricorn will just straight up tell you that they are the exact opposites or they will focus to do math, science, etc just to prove that you're wrong and can't tell them who they really are

The undeveloped side of the 12th house in Pisces people manifest as those who creepily morph into whoever the sleep with

My experiences with Pisces sun / Pisces dominant people is the more passive they are with you (always agree with you, follow whatever you want, etc) it's actually not because they like you or love you but the exact opposite of that, which is they either really dislike you and hate to use their energy to argue with you or they just afraid of you and see you as toxic. I noticed people thought that if a Pisces follow whatever you want that means that they like you or love you so much, it's not. They don't feel safe with you and it's only a matter of time before they leave you. These people are very passive and if they happen to have a lot of Aquarius/Sagittarius in their chart, they ghost people a lot because they have these avoidant tendencies

The sign in your 12th house also can manifest as your guilty pleasures. For example, if your 12th house is in Aries, Aries people might come into your life as these people who will give you the exact relationship that will make you question your morals. Like you know that it's wrong, but you can't help feeling attracted to them. They will show you your shadow-side as well. And even after they're gone, you can't ever really hate them because it's not a lie or illusions and the scary part is you know it. In fact, maybe the good-proper image that you have is instead the one thing that is a lie. This is an extreme example, but let's say you think of yourself as someone who is logical and always follows the rule, the 12th house sign will come into your life and show you that as it turns out, you hate the fact that you always have to follow the rule and be good. That there's something else underneath it all

[rotyoursoul]

The Zoldyck’s hire an in-home therapist as Illumi’s wife isn’t having an easy time adjusting to her new lifestyle. Supposedly, she’s allowed to open up as much as she desires. Let’s see where this journey goes.

TW: Yandere themes / (18+ Minors DNI)

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“What brings you both here today?”

“Please help me…” You croak to your only savior who’s seated just a coffee table across from you.

“Y/N.” Illumi warns placing a threatening hand laced with false adornment ontop of yours. His dead eyes move from the side of your face back to the therapists “My wife has been having a hard time adjusting to her new home.”

“Why do you think that is Y/N?”

Your mind quickly weaves from thought to thought, finally deducing that being truthful couldn’t get you in any worse of a situation than you already are.

“I just feel…. trapped.”

“You’ve been granted free reign of the entire estate.” Illumi flatly reminds.

“Mr. Zoldyck please allow your wife to finish her thought.”

“Alright.” They both look at you expectantly. You decide to try and ignore your husbands unblinking gaze and focus on the professional before you.

“I want to go beyond the estate. I miss the mall, flower shops, the market, other people….” You sigh “But Illumi believes I’ll try to escape while I’m out which makes absolutely no sense. Even if I did he’d be able to find me. I’d never really be free.”

She nods at you then turns her attention to your husband

“Illumi do you trust your wife’s word after hearing her thoughts?”

“No.” He sounds bored having already calculated these options long ago. “And as she’s stated, I’d quickly find her. Disciplinary action would ensue. Sleep deprivation, mild starvation, perhaps a needle etc….It’s just bothersome. I have missions to attend.”

Your mouth fell open. How could he admit that so easily?? Surely this went against some health workers code of ethics. The Zoldyck’s had to have been paying her SO well, that his confession didn’t matter.

The therapists expression remained solemn

“Mr. Zoldyck is it safe to say that you’re possessive over the ones you care about?”

“I suppose.”

“You care about me?!” You scoff

“Has that not been made clear?” Illumi questions earnestly

“Mrs. Zoldyck please consider the fact that he’s the one who requested I come here.”

“Oh God, you’re on his side!!” Tears begin to make themselves known as you slump down into the couch and lower into your sorrows.

“I’m not on one side or the other. I am simply here to unite you two.”

A moment of silence falls over the room. After a while, you shake your head in disbelief.

“Whatever just- how many more minutes do we have left?”

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A/N: HEY! This is my first time writing for Illumi and publishing so I’m not sure if I captured him correctly. Please let me know! There’s a lot of places this story can go as well. Feel free to give me suggestions. Thank you for reading 🖤