#((might think on other games and series I like. fit this idiot in there some how))

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Love's a Game, Wanna Play?

I'll Write Your Name Chapter 1

Roy Kent x Latina!Popstar!Reader

2.9k words

Warnings: Language, mentions of drinking/partying, Roy being kind of pathetic for Keeley

A/N: Ahh I'm so excited for this series! I was inspired while watching the Eras movie and it just kind of spiraled from there. I am so, so excited to share this with you ❤️

As always, @agentstarkid is an absolute angel for letting me yammer about this thing nonstop!

The tabloid headlines screamed up at me from my publicist’s office coffee table, all about how Everett, my idiot boyfriend- ex-boyfriend now- had punched out some guy in a club. And in every photo, there I was behind Ev, holding two drinks and laughing. Granted, one of those drinks was his. And the laughter was because in my drunken state, I genuinely thought Everett and the other guy were just goofing around. But none of that mattered when people had magazines to sell.

“Babe,” Lanie, my publicist, was saying from her spot next to me on the couch. “We need a serious image makeover.”

“I already broke up with Everett for continuing to be the world’s biggest jackass,” I reminded her as I grabbed some M&M’s from the coffee table. “Not sure what else there is to do.”

April, my personal assistant, picked up one of the magazines and began to flip through it. “It’s not just Everett,” she started slowly, opening up to the article all about mine and Ev’s ‘wild night’ at the club. “It’s you. You party, you go out with guy after guy, this Twitter thing with, well, you know…” She shrugged. “You’re getting something of a reputation, love.”

I sighed and popped another candy into my mouth. “I bet Ev’s people aren’t having this conversation with him right now,” I grumbled childishly.

“Because everyone already knows he’s garbage,” Lanie snorted. “This is exactly the kind of behavior they expect from him. But you-” She grasped my hand, her face full of affection. “-you are amazing. You’re a great writer and performer, and you’re a role model. So what the hell you were doing with that rat, no one could ever understand.”

“Hmmph.” I slouched further onto the couch, pretending that she wasn’t completely correct about Everett being scummy. He was cute, in that skinny, pale, undernourished, unshowered way rock stars tended to be. He was famous and had a commanding stage presence with a swagger he really hadn’t earned. And he was always ready to have a good time. But he wasn’t exactly sweet. Or sensitive, unless someone was criticizing his art. Or really all that intelligent, although he liked to talk like he was.

April cleared her throat. “Lanie and I think we might… need some outside help.”

I narrowed my eyes, always suspicious when these two were in cahoots without me. “What kind of outside help?”

“Keeley Jones,” Lanie said simply, pulling out her phone. “Has her own firm. I’ve worked with her before. The woman’s a bit… quirky. But she’s brilliant, babes.” She showed me a picture of a woman I was sure I’d seen before. “We’ll meet with her the day after tomorrow to talk strategy.”

“She’s a fan,” April added in that helpful voice of hers. “She loves your music.”

I studied the picture carefully. “Keeley Jones,” I murmured. “She’s a model, right? Or was, I assume?” Before either woman could respond, it clicked. “Oh shit,” I hissed. “She’s one of those poor women who got her photos and videos leaked last year, isn’t she?”

“She was,” Lanie confirmed. “So, she completely understands how ruthless and, frankly, unfair the press can be to a woman. It’s one of the reasons I think she’ll be a good fit. She’s pretty passionate about defending women from unfair treatment.”

“Well,” I sighed, leaning back, “guess we can hear her out, see what she has in mind.”

Lanie cleared her throat, glancing at April, who looked just as anxious. “Actually,” my publicist said slowly, “we already know what she has in mind.”

~

Keeley sat in Roy’s chair, feet casually up on his desk, scrolling absently on her phone while she waited for the gaffer to come in from the pitch.

“Oh. Uh, hi Keeley.” Roy Kent stood stiffly in the doorway, the way he often stood when he saw his ex-girlfriend. Fuck, she looked pretty today, in a stupidly fluffy pink sweater and ridiculously high heeled boots. Keeley always looked pretty.

Either Keeley didn’t notice the way his eyes softened at the sight of her, or she chose to ignore it. “Hey there, Roy-o!” she greeted, swinging her feet off his desk and sitting up straight. “D’you have a minute?”

For Keeley? Roy had all the minutes in the fucking world. To an extent, she knew that; he did come stumbling to her house with Jamie Tartt, begging her to choose between them, after all. And she cherished Roy, she really did. He treated her better than anyone else ever had. But she also knew that the way he loved her wasn’t the way she loved him or was even the way she wanted to be loved.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t use his softness for her to her advantage every now and then.

“I’ve got a proposition for you,” she started slowly as Roy leaned on his desk, not growling at her to get out of his chair like he would to anyone else. “See, I’ve got this client, and she needs some help in the PR department.”

Roy smirked. “She wanted the best, so she came to Keeley fucking Jones for help?”

Keeley shrugged off his praise. “Well, kind of. Her people came to me for a consultation. I know her publicist, she’s fabulous, they’re just a bit at a loss right now.”

“Can I ask who it is?” Roy vaguely recognized the name Keeley responded with. “That fucking pop star, right? With all the boyfriends?”

“Pop phenomenon, you mean,” Keeley snorted. “She’s only one of the biggest names in the world.”

Like Roy gave a fuck about some pop princess. “If she’s so big, why does she need PR help?

Keeley sighed. “She’s got some bad press right now. Her gross boyfriend- ex-boyfriend now, thankfully- got into a fight at a club, sent the guy to hospital. And somehow, this is her fault. Not to mention that this actress that she used to hang out with is all over Twitter badmouthing her, saying she’s trying to steal her boyfriend. She’s just… got a lot going on at the moment.”

“Fucking trainwreck,” Roy mumbled, starting to wonder where the fuck he came into play.

“She’s really not,” Keeley insisted. “Her publicist- Lanie- says she’s actually really great. Very kind and intelligent. She just goes out a lot and apparently has shit choice in company.” She lit up. “That’s where I need you, Roy.”

I need you, Roy. Those four words had Roy sitting up taller, smirking a little as he gazed at that pretty face. “And what, exactly, do you need me for?”

Keeley bit her lip. “D’you know what a ‘publicity stunt’ is?”

~

I drained the last of my giant coffee cup as I approached the elevator, sighing when I realized it had not made my tequila-caused headache disappear. While I’d promised Lanie I wouldn’t be going out for a bit, she’d never said anything about me having people over. Just a dozen of my closest friends, laughing in my living room and losing track of shots. Definitely what I needed to take my mind off the headlines, but probably not the best idea before an early-morning breakfast meeting at KBPR.

“You need to press the button.”

“Excuse me?” I turned in the direction of the voice- the growl, really- that pulled me out of my thoughts.

The bearded man let out an exaggerated sigh, rolling his brown eyes. “You need to press the fucking button,” he repeated slowly, as if to a toddler, “if you want to call the lift.”

Behind my oversized sunglasses, I narrowed my eyes at him, ignoring my initial observation that he was pretty damn cute. “Are you really implying that I don’t know how to use an elevator?” I scoffed.

He reached around me, completely invading my personal space, and hit the button in question. “Well, you’re standing here just fucking staring,” he grumbled. “So, either you’re a fucking zombie, or you don’t know how to use a lift. Either way, you’re making me fucking late.”

With a scowl, I turned to face the doors, desperate for them to open- although less desperate to get into the enclosed space with this man. As soon as the elevator dinged, I stepped inside the still opening doors, smashing the floor number Lanie had texted me and settling myself into a corner with crossed arms. The man stepped on after me and reached for the buttons, but stopped, thumb hovering over the number I had just hit. With a small hmmph, he slouched in the opposite corner, mirroring my closed-off body language.

It was a silent ride, filled with scowls and impatient huffs from both of us. I tried to remember the last time someone was so snide to me; it definitely didn’t happen often, at least not away from the safe anonymity of the internet.

When the elevator got to our floor, the man glared at me, a grunt urging me to step out first. I gave a hum of acknowledgement, matching his curt tone and refusing to give him the satisfaction of eye contact.

What a dick.

Unfortunately, that dick was about two steps behind me as I walked down the hall to the KBPR office. I tried to ignore the heavy sounds of his footsteps and focus on the insane idea this supposedly brilliant PR expert had come up with.

That PR expert smiled at me when I approached, sticking her hand out. “I’m Keeley Jones,” she chirped, her professional tone and handshake contrasting with her bright pink dress and sparkly shoes. “It is so nice to meet you!” Her eyes shifted behind me. “And I assume you already met Roy in the lift!”

Oh no. Oh hell no. There was no way this was the guy, this scowling, rude, son of a-

“Can we start this meeting?” the man- Roy- grumbled as he approached. “I’ve only got like an hour. I left Beard in charge of training, so the team’s probably in the fucking sewer again.”

“Come on in,” Keeley Jones hummed, gesturing for us to follow her. We walked through the bright office, following her into what I assumed was her personal office, one as brightly lit and colorful as her.

Lanie was already on the plush couch, scrolling on her phone. She raised her eyebrows when she saw me. “What’s up with the sunglasses? Not hungover, are we?” Her bored tone was annoyingly familiar.

I rolled my eyes and plopped down on the couch next to her, removing the shades. “Didn’t want to be recognized on my way into a public relations office,” I muttered, tucking them into my purse. “Figured that would defeat the purpose of this whole operation.”

Keeley Jones smiled at me, an admittedly lovely, friendly smile, as she took a seat behind her desk; Roy hovered nearby. “She’s a smart one, Lanie, just like you said.” She looked up at Roy. “You two got acquainted on the lift, then?” When he simply grunted in reply, she turned back to me. “Now, I understand if you think this idea is crazy,” she started slowly. “And it kind of is. But believe me when I say, it’s been done, and I’ve seen it work.” She cleared her throat. “Celebrities fake-date all the time. To promote projects, to deflect bad press, to hide secrets. So you wouldn’t be the first ones to do this, trust me.” She gestured towards Roy. “And I think Roy here is perfect for you. He’s older and more mature than your previous boyfriends, so none of that party-boy stuff. He’s dated plenty of celebrities- including myself- so he knows what comes with the territory. Absolute football legend, so I think you’re suitably matched in terms of fame. And he’s pretty damn private these days.” Her smile softened. “And if I’m being candid, he’s probably the best guy I know. He’s so protective and trustworthy. He’ll have your back.”

“What’s in it for him?” I couldn’t help the way I narrowed my eyes at the brooding man; he returned the glare in kind.

“He could use the press too,” Keeley chuckled, gazing up at him. “I love you, Roy, but you’re not the most poised with the media.” She turned back to me as he rolled his eyes, something close to affection on his face this time. “He could use some of your charm and charisma to bolster his own reputation with the papers.” She nodded firmly. “It’s a match made in heaven. Or KBPR.”

Lanie nudged me. “What d’you think babes?”

I thought it was insane. Fake dating to get the press off my back? There were so many ways this thing could backfire. Not to mention the fact that my potential fake boyfriend was already on my nerves, with his probably permanent scowl and annoyed eyes.

But, as my mind wandered to the headlines I’d passed at the newsstands on my way to this meeting, I knew that I had to at least try.

“Yeah,” I murmured with a shrug. “Let’s do it.”

~

Roy only vaguely heard her agree to the plan. He was too busy trying not to smile at Keeley’s praise; that he was mature, a legend, protective, and trustworthy. As ridiculous as he thought this whole publicity stunt business was, he was willing to give it a shot- for Keeley.

“Well, since we’re all onboard,” Keeley hummed, pulling out her tablet. “All that’s left to do is sign NDAs and plan your little romance.” She glanced at the calendar on her desk. “I’ve got a meet-cute in mind, actually. You’re friends with Dani Rojas, right?”

Roy blinked as the pop princess nodded, showing enthusiasm for the first time since he found her in front of the lift. “Dani? Oh, I love Dani! He’s such a sweetheart.”

“Oi.” Roy frowned at Keeley. “If they already know each other, why didn’t you ask Rojas to do this shit? The press like him a hell of a lot more than they like me.”

A snort came from the couch. “Don’t think his girlfriends would like him adding another woman to their relationship, even if it’s just pretend.”

Keeley nodded. “Exactly. And again, you’ve got this steady older guy thing going on, Roy. You manage a professional football team, you coach your niece, you sit at home and read. You’re very domestic, and I think she needs to be seen that way.” She grinned. “Dani doesn’t exactly have that same reputation. But he does provide you two with a connection.” She turned her attention back to her visitors. “Here’s what I’m thinking: you get Dani to invite you to a Richmond game and go out with the team afterwards. Win or lose, those guys pretty much always do something after a match. And that’s where you two can meet and connect.” She leaned back comfortably, looking every bit like the boss she was. “Then we’ll get you two seen together, get you to a few more matches, get Roy to a show, make some cryptic social media posts. Soft launch. Then we’ll do your debut as a couple, have you attend events on each other’s arms, gush about each other online and in interviews. Maybe you write Roy a song, maybe you go on holiday together, that kind of thing.” She flipped through the planner on her desk. “All in all, I’m thinking four to six months, then you can end things amicably and stay friends.”

“Six months?” Roy carped. “Keeley, you didn’t mention-”

“That’s a respectable period of time,” the ex-model interrupted. “Long enough for you two to get attention, be believable as a serious couple, and to get everyone to forget about these headlines.” She shook her head at Roy. “What, you thought you’d go on one date and that would be it? Come on, Roy. It took at least three weeks for us to start making headlines together. You know this takes time.”

Roy’s voice went low. “Keeley-”

Keeley stood and grabbed Roy’s arm; he wondered if she could feel that same little surge of energy at the contact. “Will you ladies give us one moment?” She dragged Roy out of the office, out of earshot. “Come on, Roy,” she huffed, letting go of him. “You said you could do this.”

“That was before I met her,” Roy grumbled, folding his arms and missing her touch. “This isn’t gonna work. No one’s going to believe us. We’ve barely met, and already she’s a right fucking nightmare-”

“You’re not exactly my daydream either, Kent.”

Roy whipped around. She stood in the doorway, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed. She walked over and gazed up at him with nothing but determination on her face.

“Listen,” she started. “I get it. This is stupid. The press is stupid. I think Keeley and Lanie are insane for this scheme, and I don’t really believe it’s going to work, if I’m being honest.” She looked at Keeley. “No offense, Miss Jones.” She turned her eyes back to Roy. “But this whole fame thing is an absolute fucking game. And apparently we both need help playing it.” She stuck her hand out. “I’m in if you are.”

A slow sigh escaped Roy’s lips. He really could use the positive exposure. Despite his growing comfort in front of the cameras, he still had years- decades- of shit press to make up for. And the Greyhounds could always use whatever positive publicity they could get. It’d be good for the club, and Roy would do just about anything for the club.

And he’d do absolutely anything for Keeley.

All it took was one glance over at that face, the face he missed waking up to, and he was done for. “Fine,” he huffed, shaking the popstar’s hand. “I’m fucking in.”

Taglist: @infinetlyforgotten @ladygrey03 @book-of-roses @thatonedogwithablog @misshall14 @wibblywobblyvampywolfystuff @akornsworld @itswhateveripromise @purecinnamonextract @oceanncurrent @dearvoidgoodnight @hopefulromances

[niuniente]

Hi Niu! I wanted to stop by and let you know that I binged all of DHD last night and this morning. It's FANTASTIC and I'm a bit mad at myself for having slept on this for so long. I've been reading the updates you post here off and on and I *finally* took the plunge and read everything. I love it I love it I love it! You are phenomenal 💖💖💖💖💖

Welcome to read DHD! I'm genuinely so glad and happy you've enjoyed it (I binged it myself recently, too - I need to reread what I have done occasionally not to miss anything).

Good thing for arriving a bit later than others to any series is that there's lot to watch/see/listen and you can indulge yourself as much as you like :D

I do have other comics which you might also enjoy.

FUZZY is completed and tells a story of a seer Irene and a solid black monster called Fuzzy. It was very liked and got on Webtoon's front page as recommended series. READ FUZZY

Demon Sanctuary has been in a hiatus for a long time but I do genuinely want to finish it - even if it took me 20 years. It tells a story of a priest Furmann, who rehabilitates demons instead of exorcising them. One of his demons is a little girl's ghost-demon Suzie, who screams at flowers. READ DEMON SANCTUARY

I'd also like to serialize these three poly-flatmate-idiots at some point with 4 panel style but I have not made any big decisions yet. I have their comics on Tumblr now, tagged as #flatmates (needs a proper name)

Ironically speaking I know how Demon Sanctuary ends and I just need to draw it but I haven't gotten to do it...

Second ironic thing is that there's also another comic which I have had in mind for 7-8 years by now. I know the characters (Poju and Siri, series has no name), I know the story, I pretty much have it all thought from beginning to its end. Again, I don't know when (or how!) this story will come out. I somehow have a hunch that some other form than a comic would fit it really well. A book, perhaps? A game?

NOT TO MENTION that there's also ANOTHER comic idea I've been thinking for a few years now and doodled the characters a bit. It would be about a demon who is VERY proud of being able to manipulate anyone - until he meets a woman who doesn't react to him in anyway. Kind of the same idea as in Lucifer series, but a comedy.

Wow, where these keep coming from?! Not that I complain but I have only two hands, 24h per day and health issues (albeit slowly getting better).

But anyway, long story short; THANK YOU FOR READING DEATH-HEAD'S DEAL! If it's up to me I'll keep drawing comics until I croak or my osteoarthritis wins.

[georgieluz]

Julian!! I’ve missed you!! Sending a virtual hug and a few asks for the ask game!

❤️💛💚💙🖤🎤🎵📺🔐🧟‍♀️🍇💌🖇️🔍🪐🌚

I just realized… there’s a lot… haha sorry about that 😅 hope you’re doing well!

hiiii!! i missed you too!!! first of all, lemme return the virtual hug and then i'll get to answering!!

❤️ how tall are you?

5ft4. guess i'm joining george, johnny, frank and harry in the smol boys club

💛 what is your favourite feature on yourself?

maybe my hair? idk i feel like so many people talk about how lucky i am to have such thick fluffy hair that if i didn't choose that it would be the equivalent of cursing them and all of their families

💚 where are you from?

dwi'n dod o gymru!! actually it's fitting that the emoji is green because green and red are the welsh flag colours and i'm welsh!

💙 do you have any siblings?

just me, unfortunately

🖤 favourite hobbies outside of your blog?

archery! i used to be on my university team and we would shoot three times a week but i've graduated now and feel like i'm cheating on them whenever i shoot with my local team

🎤  have you been to a concert?

yes! i've been lucky enough to go to quite a few. some of my favourite artists that i've seen live are: my chemical romance, the libertines, epik high, vixx, kim hanbin and day6

🎵 favourite artists?

the libertines, the strokes, pulp, the cure, epik high, kim hanbin, onewe, hoppipolla, sunmi and woodz!

📺 last show you watched?

transatlantic (i'm still a wreck bc of these characters)

🔐 something no one would guess about you?

ohh this might be the toughest one bc i don't actually know how people see me so i wouldn't know what they would guess about me but maybe that i studied and competed in dance my whole life? (if you can guess what styles of dance i'll give you a prize)

🧟‍♀️ scariest thing that’s happened to you?

i don't wanna make this too heavy so i'll leave out the actual scariest things but the other week i may or may not have had an encounter with a ghost in my museum which is said to be haunted

🍇 a word your friends would use to describe you?

texted two of my friends and one replied "unnecessary" and the other said "an idiot of an enigma" so that went well lmao

💌 why did you start this blog?

because it had been so long since i had friends who loved band of brothers and i missed having an online community where i felt comfortable and happy and enjoyed engaging with people in

🖇️ what are your favorite asks to answer?

honestly i like all of them! i love interacting with people and so any asks are fun! writing asks, character discussions, get to know me asks, i'll take the lot of them!!

🔍 what character do you enjoy writing for the most?

lately it's been eddie jones!! every single idea i've had lately spawns around him and forms its own little solar system that revolves around his existence. i think it's bc i'm a little bit obsessed, but i also think the themes i enjoy writing most work very well with him so it's just the perfect match. but i also adore writing nix, he's my favourite hot mess and i love writing him. harry and tab are two i love writing who i didn't realise i loved writing until i saw the amount of times i'd written something focused on them when the work wasn't supposed to be anything massively to do with them lmao

🪐 favourite shows / series of all time?

ohhh another tough one, but i'm gonna have to say band of brothers, star trek, and lost, but succession is probably gonna end up being up there eventually but i need to give it a few years to settle before deciding. there are definitely others but they go in and out of order a lot and those are the three that always stay at the top no matter what

🌚 a show you’d tell people to stay away from?

honestly idk i think it's down to individual taste so if i knew someone didn't like a certain genre i could tell them to avoid shows based off of that but i usually don't tell people to stay away from a show unless there's something genuinely harmful in it

thank you so much for asking all of these!! it was fun to answer them and hopefully i haven't rambled on too long!!

for this ask game!

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle's Traffictober - Batch 2

More of my Traffictober one-shots are up on my AO3!

Full series - Find full list and tags here

Batch 1 Post - Traffictobers 1 to 7

Batch 2 Post - Traffictobers 8 to 14

Batch 3 Post - Traffictobers 15 to 21

Below are T-rated Traffic SMP fanfics (one-shots) of various lengths. Give them a whirl if you think you may enjoy:

8 - “Dog Biscuits” (Link) - The strained relationship between a dog man and a cookie moth, both of whom have been making alliances with other people.

Double Life - Sharing souls with BigB leaves Ren super itchy, so they cuddle up together while BigB rubs him with itch-relieving salve. They try to talk things through, but it looks like they might be needing Scott's Relationship Ranch after all.

9 - “Grian's Room” (Link) - If Scar weren't overtaken by the red life mindset, he'd probably be more concerned that he can't feel the softness of Grian's blankets.

3rd Life - Grian tries to shoo the very red (totally scary) Scar out of his room. Scar keeps touching Grian's blanket, in that early phase of 'trial and error'ing through the different sensations of being on red life. It's true what they say... Reds don't feel a thing unless it's the rush of a kill.

10 - “Canadian Idiot” (Link) - That one 'fic where a grumpy Joel gets a million platonic hickeys because Etho keeps aggroing on him

Double Life - Joel losing hearts keeps setting off Etho's fox hybrid aggro. They try to work it out, it goes very wrong, and Etho is very in his head and desperate to reel it in. Ft. bonus Bdubs and Impulse with their love heart crowns.

Also probably my favorite of the entire Traffictober series; I don't think we're gonna top this one <3

11 - “Get Your Fingers Burned” (Link) - Joel and Scar were once giggly friends. By noon, the boogeyman curse has them screaming and dueling above a lava pool.

Last Life - A dramatized retelling of the moment where Scar tried to get a boogeyman kill on his base partner Joel in Episode 2, not realizing Joel was the other boogeyman. Ft. bonus Firefly Hybrid Joel jealous of Scar's pecs, which a man with an exoskeleton will never get to have.

12 - “Like Newlyweds Do” (Link) - Bdubs, now soulbound to a man who's been walking around with 1/10th of his soul: "Dude you live like this??"

Double Life - Impulse comes clean about his chronic bed-sharing habits and he and Bdubs talk about what it means for Impulse to be simultaneously sharing souls with Bdubs and Skizz. Or... they try. Impulse keeps getting hung up on the whole unresolved betrayal arc from 3rd Life.

13 - “Scary Stories For Young Fox Hybrids” (Link) - [NW AU] - Skizz takes young Scar and Bdubs out on a Solo Skizz adventure to give their mom (Cleo) some space. They stumble across a wounded stranger in a game show studio.

Neighborhood Watch AU blends the roleplay and mechanics for the first 5 Life seasons into a single timeline. A battered Martyn, burned from his years in the Nether, is shocked to encounter "his" (soulmate's) kids in person for the first time.

14 - “Walking on Cluckshroom Shells” (Link) - Cleo lets themself into BigB's portal room with the spare key, looking for something they left when they and BigB broke up. Grian is there. He throws a little fit.

Double Life - Slice of life study on Grian and BigB's dating life in this world where time moves differently in the Between and Overworld dimensions and Grian bemoans the fact that it's time to go offline and he has to spend a month alone.

Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

[waspsinyouryard]

So I got tagged in an ask game thing by @hotleafbeverage and felt like participating, but I'm making my own post because the reblog chain of the post I was tagged in is REALLY long and I don't think my answers are interesting enough to justify scrolling through a bunch of other responses just to read them, you know?

1. Name?

I don't really have a preferred name, actually. You can call me Tumblr User waspsinyouryard, or some nickname of your own choosing based off of it. I don't really care

2. Pronouns and gender?

I am agender. As for my pronouns?

3. Sexuality?

I am aroace

4. Country?

I live in the United States of America

5. Top 5 fandoms?

I read through the Wings of Fire and (the first 4 arcs of) Warriors book series a bit ago and enjoyed them. Sometimes I still think about the occasional joke or point of discussion for them. I much more recently read through the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books and enjoyed them well enough, even if I have since lost interest at Mark of Athena in Heroes of Olympus. I also played through Rhythm Heaven Fever a bit ago and enjoyed it, as well as currently being in the process of finishing Rhythm Heaven DS.

I wouldn't really consider myself to be a part of The Fandom of any of these things, but I guess I have enjoyed them so I'm in the fandom by default?

6. What is your Most forbidden snack?

I feel like molten metal might be tasty

7. Would you pet a bug?

My hands are obviously too large to pet a bug-sized bug, but if any mad scientists are out taking their massive bugs on a walk then I just might.

8. Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class.

My oldest memory is being lowered on onto one of those diaper changing stations in a public bathroom by my mother. I don't remember anything before that. I don't remember anything after that for a good long while.

9. What does the color blue taste like?

I am not synesthetic enough to say anything more than the fact that sky blue probably tastes like yogurt.

10. What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?

Probably the most beautiful thing I have ever seen is the landscape in and around Yellowstone National Park.

11. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done?

In 2016ish I became one of those obnoxious internet atheists. I burned bridges because I was so desperate to debunk religion. I devoted so much of my time, energy, and personality into fighting against religion that even now, SEVEN YEARS LATER, there's still a massive hole in my personality that used to be filled with my all-consuming desire to prove that there are no gods.

12. Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say?

Probably the stupidest person I've seen is Kevin from the Reddit Kevin Story. As for IRL, I honestly can't say. If someone does something idiotic, I'm just like "ok that was stupid of them" and then I don't think about it anymore.

13. Hyperfixation song?

I don't really know what this means so here's a small assortment of songs I've been varying degrees of obsessed with in no particular order (featuring YouTube links):

Are you Coming Home, Love MOM (World of Goo Soundtrack)

Best of Times (World of Goo Soundtrack)

Cog in the Machine (World of Goo Soundtrack)

Jelly (World of Goo Soundtrack)

Years of Work (World of Goo Soundtrack)

The City (Little Inferno Soundtrack)

And bliss everywhere bliss (Everywhere, an empty bliss)

Equinox eyes will stop (Everywhere, an empty bliss)

Loss of want back there (Everywhere, an empty bliss)

Basically the entirety of stages 4, 5, and 6 of Everywhere at the End of Time

Kick the Cart! (Noita OST Vol. 2)

Looting the Rainforest (Noita OST Vol. 3)

Old Magician's Last Wish (Noita OST Vol. 3)

14. Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username?

There's no real reason why I chose the url I did, but I drew the PFP I did to fit with it.

15. Dream career as a child?

When I was a very young child, I wanted to be a cop. lol

16. Dream career as an adult?

I don't really dream of any type of labor specifically to be honest. Maybe if making mediocre posts to social media sites was a well-paying job..?

17. Thoughts on cilantro?

I don't actually have any thoughts on cilantro whatsoever. I have eaten it before but I still can't tell you if it tastes like soap or not to me.

18. Have you ever been banned from any location and if so, why?

I have not been banned from anywhere thus far

19. What is your cursed food combination?

Once upon a time I made a corn chip sandwich that was just a bunch of corn chips between two slices of bread. There are better ways of eating corn chips.

20. Trans rights?

Hell yeah!

Now I want to hear from

@anyone who wants to participate. I'm not tagging people because I don't know who I would tag and am scared of intruding even if I did

[selkymaiden]

so sorry again for the double ask but i feel inclined to ask for my other wife, mina.

how would mina’s relationship with each of the 🧩❓s that exist be like? who do you think she’d get on with like a house on fire 😏

Don't ever be sorry!!! Tbh they're good exercises to really think about these little idiots. Naomi you really be hittin' the good good 👌👨‍🍳 *chef's kiss*

Alright but let me say this is very hard because 🧩❓ is so... Ofc very vastly intelligent and I am not. LMAO. So it's like the author (me) is creating a character (Mina) who is very smart, or brilliant in her own way so I have to do my best in not making her look bad. Like fuck. All because I'm committed to the bit. Aka romancing fucking uhhhh puzzle face.

Because I have actually thought about the different iterations of him!

But oh my god It's so hard with comic book characters though, since theirs so many different ones. And in no way am I a 🧩❓ expert flakjwer same with 🐧 so I'm always worried what if someone see's this and they're all 🤬 but then I tell myself I'm old and I simply should not care and do what I want. Because all the rest of the old people do 😂😂😂😂

I'll start with BTAS though, as always, since I grew up with it! Oh! And I will say each Mina in each universe is for that universe, or she'd be changed a little to fit that 'Earth' as DC likes to call it. But BTAS 🧩❓ is a lot more tame, at least I think he is, compared to some of the others out there. I mean did he try to murder his old boss? Yes. But his old boss did fire him and not give him credit for everything he created so... You know... And if I pull in some of the uhhh New Animated Series and comics that go with this version of him. I think it could work. There's actually a great piece in the comics where 🧩❓ he admits he has a problem and states he needs to go back to Arkham himself. Here is an audio someone made of it, the post also has a link to the comic if you wanna read it! But it's just the self awareness and you know stop setting deathtraps Mina is obv going to be all 👀😊 Like you did it, baby! You're breaking the cycle! Because she wants to root for him and care for him and be partners! I'm so sorry I will just also say she is so cheesy! She'd love to be partners or rivals with another detective- As much as she sees the good she's doing in finding you know a missing person or helping someone out with a cheating scandal (for money) she wants to be better than anyone else that might be doing the case. So she kind of sees her job as a game and would love to have someone else to play the game with, and that to her is 🧩❓

Okay, let me just get Batman: Zero Year or Capullo 🧩❓ out of the way. It would never work. LMAO. Not in probably a million years. I myself like this version of him! But what he did is the most whack-ass shit and Mina would NOT be okay with it like ever. If he ever got out of Arkham Asylum she'd probably narc on him point blank, like lock that MF back up. I don't know if you've read Zero Year (is it part of N52? I don't know the new stuff sorry flkajwer) but he basically turned all of Gotham into an entire fucking jungle, like he destroyed everything and fucking ruined millions of lives. All for what? For what? Because only the smart should survive and shit like that??? Now if they met before he did all that when he was just a 'consultant' or strategist at Wayne Enterprises, she'd probably bang him! But it would not be a relationship and after he does what he does she'd just be... Kill this mf even if he's sexy in some insane manner. She'd probably be an antagonist to him on this Earth.

Batman 2022 ehhhhhhhhhh Imma be real, I almost barely remember him when I watched that movie. It's like my brain blocked him cuz I thought he was... I don't know. It was too realistic and I see 🧩❓more camp. But Mina in that universe again would just be 'Let's swat this man.' She'd probably be the person on his forums just heckling him and when he tries to find her IP or ANYTHING on this user (her) he can't. So it pisses him off. Basically, it would not work because she does not care for incel men. That's probably what she'd see him as. Or those people that worship or are fascinated and collect serial killer items. The only saving grace is if he had, again, self-awareness of what he was doing or acting. Because Mina in that universe would understand to change things... A lot of people in power would need to be taken out. Whether by assassination or some other means like spilling the truth. But the way he goes about it, it's just not it for her. Again she'd probably be an antagonist to him actually in that Earth.

THIS IS SO LONG ALREADY I'M SO SORRY!

UMMMMMMM SPEED RUN OTHERS!?

Young Justice - I think it would work because he's so... That version of him is so soft and goofy! Mina would probably, not be okay, but would defiantly harp on him to change professions but she wouldn't impede in what he does. Even if it's bad. Like super bad where the young justice league has taken him in before. She'd be a bystander and just the one that says: "I told you so." She's waiting for him to learn his lesson cuz how he's written is much lighter and she'd be smitten by his gappy teeth and lisp.

OH and Gotham!🧩❓ That would be interesting bc she'd probably have to watch out since 🐧 literally killed one of Ed's girlfriends. But if birb is occupied with snake then... Maybe? Again she'd be like 'lol you gotta stop killing people dude uhhhh' and would more likely want to be a rival or just outsmart him than be romantic. At first. I'm sure she'd get a crush but how Ed has been written after (accidentally) killing his first GF he's uhhhh a lil unhinged. As that whole show is but lakfjwerkl

There's like telltale!🧩❓, unburied, and uhhh omg just a lot of others and I'll be honest in most of those Earths she'd be an antagonist. She's not GCPD or a cop, but she is someone who's defiantly done cases and probably found out they were victims of his death traps. And she's just like 'wtf no!' and not be okay with it. Even if she's a bit of a hypocrite and is okay with other... murders... (her friend Sophie turning people to stone lfkajwer) But there's a line!

I saved the best for last because I love Akrham! 🧩❓ I have the most ideas for them. Well, several. Like there's a good ending and a bad ending just like a game, cuz it's fun! I will just say bad ending is probably the most likely that would happen, but bad ending is just them killing each other. And in the most mundane way, or annoying way he'd see it as. Because it would not be some elaborate death trap or puzzle that does him in, or just something complex. She shoots him. They might even shoot each other. And bleed out next to each other, very possession 1981 is how I picture it. tw blood and gore if you click links alfkjwelrk (I'm sorry I'm unwell 😔) It would be in a cool setting though! Probably in one of his lairs, or he's constructing a new death trap for Batman or even Wonder City! But good ending is always him eventually becoming a Detective, like other versions of him, so in a way, he does become redeemable. I mean originally this version of him started off working at the GCPD and wanting to expose the corruption in Gotham, he just went about it all... Bad. LMAO. Also, I love how the progression through the games you see how he goes from clean-cut to just total ratification. When Mina begins talking to him she's only seen photos of him, so when he worked GCPD and when he's in his nice green suits! but when they do get to meet in person PHEW she takes one look at his pathetic, skin and bones, wet little dumbass and is just 'I need to care for him' but also be mad bc you know he's annoying AF.

[asoulofatlantis]

I think I mentioned that yesterday, but Inferno couldn't sleep so he went right back to playing after like barely two hours of a break and he played for fucking 10 hours guys! Lots of sidequests happened so I hope we will finish this one quickly.

So we ended the last Stream shortly after Agnes confession. I did not mention that Van meet Nina after he brought Agnes to the station but she was so ominous with her words that I did not show it because I do not get what she wanted to tell Van, aside from that she hopes he sleeps well ^^' Now we are going back to Kevins group. Appearantly he is in search for the one who causes the desertification that is so bad in the east. His current coulprit is Professor Hamilton. She is a professor. Wears a lapcoat. And she is obviously having some secrets from us, so lets see were this might be going...

Stop saying "that person" as if we do not know who you are talking about. And its also bot like we haven't noticed anything shady about that woman either. So just say her name for gods sake, this isn't Harry Potter and sie is not Voldemort!

Thank you Swin, for bringing my words to that green haired idiot that calls himself a priest even tho there is nothing holy about him...

She is still dancing in a Table-Dance-Bar? And Kevin and Rufus are watching? What has become of the Trails series? We've been once so innocent...

So she wasn't exactly doing a... erotic kind of dance, even tho dressed in mostly underwear, but it was modest underwear I might add. After her show the real dancers come in and uh...

Halle says that Jack is NOT allowed to watch it XD

BTW... should we tell Ries about Kevin watching girls in not-so-modest underwear dancing on a pole? XD I feel like between Rean getting that cheek Kiss and Kevin sitting in a Table-Dance bar having their Girls back would be the funniest thing ever. HOWEVER... technically speaking nothing of that is likely going to happen again after... uh... you'll see that when we get there.

Hotsprings, hot baths, Saunas... what will be next? Ice baths? ^^' Seriously, the Trails-Saga has a huge fondness of stuff like that. At this point it wouldn't be a Trails-Game without it. (Although I think we didn't have any of it in Crossbell...)

XD I hope Nadia never changes. I seriously wasn't sure what to do with her back in Reverie. It felt like she was a rather annoying girl at first but then she showed her true face and I was simply amazed by her. Her character has so many different layers that fit so well with each other in the weirdest way possible that it is just so easy to like her. I mean, remember how she threatened to torture that one guy in Riveri? That was the same girl that fell asleep in Swins lap after complaining that she was soooo tired and the same girl that immediately took the role of a big sister for Lapis but also the same girl that used a trick to steal Milliums Arcus. She is lovely, but NEVER underestimate her.

Fateful encounter with a guy who doesn't know what he wants. She is not to be envied about that. PLUS... since this si not a Harem-Game, she is basically in the same position as Josette and Kloe and THAT is certainly not something you should envie her for.

Yes, Kevin got that right for once XD

Gee, the Girls bath is getting fuller by the minute XD

After that, we had a short trip to the Märchengarten... uh... Grim Garden and then we move on with Kevin trying to find out what the hell is going on with Hamiliton.

Running around doing sidequests and gatherin information for a while...

We meet a lot of people here. Mostly women tho interestingly.

Lapis is so cute that Ashen has to hug her XD

(Oh! Maxim is here as well, so I guess not only woman show up.)

Rufus just lied amazingly well to an AI-controlled talking computer. By saying that he lied "amazingly well" I mean that technically speaking nothing of what he said was a lie, even tho it somehow still was. It was... like he twisted the truth so it would sound nicer to the computer and that way he hid their dark intentions. This man is scary... but amazing.

I don't know what is more funny. The fact that Marielle is so innocently embarrassed or the fact that Rufus is covering Lapis eyes XD (Not to speak about Kevin enthusiasm. Gee... I feel bad for Ries.)

Okay, that scene was funny XD

Leave it to Trails to ease the tension in the weirdest way possible XD

I am enjoying that scene way too much XD

*achem* Back to more serious topics. It seems like hamilton used a lot of devices from ancient civilizations to make her Genesis-Copie-Mambo-Jambo work. Interesting.

[irikahkrios]

i need you guys to understand. i fucking LOVE the "robot is a person who fights to find their place in the world and be seen as alive" trope. i ADORE it. i think data from star trek is one of the greatest fictional characters of all time. i love edi's plotline in me3. i get upset when any droid in star wars dies. i still cry when i think about bicentennial man. i feel crazy at the thought that people might see me talk about my hatred of the geth and think that i hate fictional robots or something. as an autistic person i feel a ton of kinship with robot characters bc they're so often used as a metaphor for "person trying to understand social cues and fit in and be accepted in society."

the problem is that with the geth, bioware did NOT write a "these robots are people who want to be seen as alive" plot. they wrote a nonsensical plot twist/retcon after spending two and a half games establishing that the geth are a soulless robot army that attempted literal genocide against the quarians (arguably the most sympathetic species in the series), and are never portrayed as anything more than this. they're servants of the reapers. they're helping them to murder and/or reaperize every species in the galaxy. the writers actually had a really good opportunity to make us think of the geth as alive or sympathetic, with the geth unit you capture on the reaper iff mission in me2 and can keep on the normandy if you want. but they chose not to make it alive/sympathetic, you can talk to it and it's literally like talking to cleverbot or something. you never get the sense that there's any kind of sapience there.

there's no attempt to portray the geth as sapient or sympathetic until two-thirds of the way through me3, when the writers suddenly start beating you over the head with characters telling you that ohhh no the geth are ALIVE actually!! this unit has a soul or whatever the fuck!!! and retconning the events of the geth's attempted murder of all the quarians to try and make the geth seem like the sympathetic party. and it never feels like anything more than an attempt at some of that classic bioware Forced Gray Morality, where there's an obvious right side and wrong side but the writers bend over backwards to treat the situation as "morally gray" even when it so clearly isn't. it's so bizarre and out of place with everything in the games thus far that i find it impossible to actually take it seriously.

the end result is really more insulting than anything. it feels like the writers are going "ohh, you spent the last two games thinking the quarians were sympathetic? haha, don't you feel stupid now that This Unit Has A Soul?? you dumb idiot baby, the ACTUAL morally correct action is to help the robots MURDER the quarians! or make 'peace' to give the robots an opportunity to murder them later! you dipshit!" like it just feels like a cheap ass pull for the sake of subverting expectations. it feels insulting to my intelligence as a player, because to take it as canon you need to throw out everything the writers established up until that point. (and don't even get me STARTED on the fucking paragon/renegade points.)

the quarian/geth conflict could have actually been morally gray if they'd wanted it to be. make the situation a bit less black and white from the start, rather than portraying one side as wholly in the right and the other as wholly in the wrong and then suddenly switching them when they wanted to subvert players' expectations. make that "legion" geth unit an actual character, give it interesting things to say, make players form an attachment to it instead of having it just be a thing that stands on your ship and responds to questions with soulless answers like "there was a hole." make us truly feel that this was a conflict between two peoples, instead of the writers suddenly telling you to enable the robot apocalypse. i mean idk i think i'd still have some problems with it, i mean the geth still did all that horrible shit to the quarians. but if we'd gotten the sense at any point that the geth were sapient people, it would have felt more like the morally gray situation the writers were going for in me3 and less like the "oh haha the quarians are the Bad Guys now kill them kill them kill them" shit that they actually wrote in me3.

basically what i'm trying to say is that there's a universe out there where bioware actually put in the work from the first or second game, and actually wrote the geth in a way that made them come off as a group of sapient individuals instead of a soulless hive mind murderbot army trying to kill my shepard's best friend and her entire species. if we lived in that universe we wouldn't be having this conversation. but we don't, so we are.

[turtletaubwrites]

Numbers Game ~ Part 13

Not Known for my Patience

Pairings: Cross Guild x Fem!Reader

Numbers Game Masterlist

Word Count: 5318

Ao3 Link

Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link

Summary: You get to work on party planning, but your disagreement about the budget leads to some uncomfortable questions.

Author's Note: I am unwell. If it wasn’t allergy season, I’d roll down a hill, and lie in the grass for a while 😅

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Swearing, Smut, Established Relationship, Manipulation, Humiliation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Possessive Behavior, Teasing, Threats, Size Difference, Daddy Kink, Overstimulation, Hair-Pulling, Degradation, Unprotected Sex (stay safe out there), Bondage, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Gangbang, Brat Handling, Vaginal Fingering, PIV Sex, Creampie, Large Cock, Cunnilingus, Punishment, Orgasm Control, Multiple Orgasms, Dom Mihawk, Dom Crocodile, Switch(?) Buggy, Death Threats, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |

“If you’d listened to miss Y/N before, she might still be yours,” Crocodile scoffed, shoving Buggy into a chair at a small desk by the door, leaving him close, but not too close. “This is your one chance to prove you’re not a complete idiot. Don’t fuck it up.”

“You got it, boss,” Buggy chirped, sneaking a wink in your direction while you fought a smile.

“Here you are, darling,” Mihawk interrupted, setting your notebook in front of you, along with a transponder snail. “I trust that you’ll behave on your calls today? I’d hate to have to come up with some sort of punishment if you try to–”

“She won’t try anything, huh, sweetheart?” Crocodile rasped. Goosebumps crawled over your skin as the back of that golden hook lifted your chin, drawing your eyes to his. “You’re our girl now, right?”

“I am,” you agreed, breathless as the truth left your lips. He tugged on a bit of your hair, that look of ownership sending warmth through you. 

I’m theirs. 

Humming at the thought, you laid out your notes, and went to work.

~

“This event will be expensive,” you warned, adding to the list of items needed to throw a party fit for the pompous guests you knew too well. The guest list was small, but you knew it would grow as the clients you'd called today gossiped amongst their privileged circles, and you hadn't even made it through your list yet.

“I already sent Galdino to meet with the backer you secured. That should provide more than enough funding,” Mihawk noted, looking at you over the top of his book. 

“Besides, they’re not here for caviar,” Crocodile huffed from his desk on the other side of the large room, “they’re here to pay for murder. I think that’ll be enough of a thrill for them.”

You cleared your throat, scribbling on the corner of a page.

“Do you disagree?”

How did he get here so fast?

Mihawk laughed at the little yelp you let out when Crocodile pulled the list from your shaky hands. 

“They want a show,” Buggy’s head declared as it floated between you and the larger man, his jazz hands floating beside his face. He gave a quiet huff as Crocodile used the notebook to swat him away like a fly.

“I’ll listen to your recommendations, sweetheart. Tell me why you think I’m wrong.”

Mihawk joined him in front of your desk, the two of them towering over you while Buggy started pacing. 

I wonder if I’ll ever stop being afraid of them. I wonder if that’s why I want to stay.

Shaking off the fear, and the flush to your cheeks, you straightened before answering with a steady voice.

“I’ve known most of these people for years. They want thrills, but only if they’ll be safe, and only if it’ll be good for their bank accounts in the long run. We need to convince them that they’ll gain more than they give by funding us.” You couldn’t read the emotions behind their sharp-eyed stares, but you pulled yourself through.

“We need to sell the product, and we need to be desirable. If we don’t look just as wealthy as they are, they won’t think we’re worth the air we breathe, let alone their precious berry,” you ended on a sharp note, swallowing a scowl. 

Mihawk leaned over the desk, holding your jaw while he stared at the hint of a snarl on your lips.

“My sweet, little rabbit doesn't seem to think highly of her old clients. This entire plan relies on these wealthy contacts being loyal to you, Y/N. You didn’t exaggerate their trust in you, did you?”

“No, I didn’t,” you breathed, your jaw clenching beneath his fingers. “As long as I keep being useful to them, they’ll keep pretending they care about me.” 

Ice filled the room from the pressure of your words, nausea coiling in your stomach.

“I’m good at what I do,” you coughed, Mihawk's fingers letting you pull away while you took a breath. “They’ll listen to me, but we need to put on a show.”

“Good thing you’ve got the flashiest showman around,” Buggy crowed, floating pieces of him over your desk again, shielding you from the cold stares of the other men.

“Buzz off, clown,” Crocodile snapped, resting his hook on your desk with a low, metallic thunk. “Sweet girl, do you think we’re liars?”

“Wha– n-no. I didn’t–”

“Skittish, little rabbit,” Mihawk purred, shouldering past Buggy’s now solid form to trail a finger down your cheek. “Why would you ever need to worry? You have so many uses.”

“Don’t start with that shit, swordsman,” Crocodile growled, moving beside you to trap you between them. 

“Didn’t you hear that hatred on her tongue, sandman? Aren’t you curious if our little rabbit carries that same venom for us?”

Buggy’s frantic eyes found yours around Mihawk’s side, but your golden-eyed lover returned his fingers to your jaw, pressing in.

“Do you hate us for using you, darling?”

He released your face at Crocodile’s looming threat, but his predator’s gaze still held you frozen.

A large hand across your shoulder blades relaxed you for just a moment, until that deep voice warmed your neck.

“Answer him, sweetheart.”

“Of course she doesn’t hate you, she’s–” Buggy started, going silent at the vicious glare Mihawk sent his way. 

Tension grew with every second until you found your voice again.

“I don’t hate you. I want to be here,” you laughed, a strange joy moving through you as you shook yourself. “You threatened to kill me, but I still trust you more than I trust any of those leeches.”

Lightheadedness came in a wave, your body buzzing as you looked back and forth at their frightening faces.

Fuck. Why did I say all that? Why didn’t I keep it professional?

You let out a sigh of relief as Crocodile's hand rubbed up and down your spine, and Mihawk lifted your knuckles to his lips. That gentle kiss felt overpowering, and he hummed when a soft noise left your throat.

“I think that’s enough work for today, don’t you, Crocodile?”

“Why don’t we take our dinner in the banquet hall tonight,” he suggested, tapping his hook on a blank notepad on your desk. “You can show us how to prepare it for a party of leeches.”

“Or we could just enjoy all the new tables to fuck you on,” Mihawk laughed, pulling you out of the chair to carry you. 

They bickered about who would be going first along the way, laughing at Buggy’s attempt to claim a turn.

“Go order the food,” Crocodile snorted, gesturing down the hall. “Stop being a fucking nuisance, and you might get to watch.”

You directed them to the large dining hall, giggling as Mihawk laid you across the head table. The room was already set up well, a small stage at one end, the head table stretched along a connecting wall, and round tables scattered across the floor. Once you had a more complete RSVP list, you’d be able to make a decent seating chart.

You propped yourself up on an elbow, your brow creasing a bit as you thought of which guests would need to feel extra special, and be seated the closest to your lovers. 

“I’m amazed that little mind of yours can focus on work,” Mihawk teased, tapping his fingers against your forehead. You threw your head back with a moan as he snuck a hand up your skirt. He rubbed his knuckles over your clit through your panties, already damp from the feel of his skin while he’d carried you. “When this little cunt is always so fucking hungry.”

“Dinner is served,” Buggy interrupted your moan, crashing through the doors with a rolling cart of food, the sliver-domed covers glinting under the lights. The tray slammed into a chair as he stared between your spread legs, his hands flying to catch the wine bottle and glasses just in time.

“Too bad,” Mihawk sighed as he licked the taste of you off his fingers. “I was about to have dessert first.”

Too many conflicting feelings flowed through your mind while you ate in this opulent room, drifting you away from the conversation as visions of fake smiles and expensive clothes danced through the hall. 

Gloved fingers on your knee snapped you back.

Buggy made a show of eating the last few bites off his plate, not meeting your gaze as your lips parted from his risky touch. 

What are you doing?

So far your sweet clown had done nothing but try to protect you from these men, but now his fingers were teasing up your thigh under the table. 

You wanted to let him, your mind starting to race through every possibility, every reaction.

Mihawk snatched that wayward hand from your lap before you had a chance to think, and you yelped when he slammed it on the table. 

“We decide when our girl gets to play with her toys.”

“Right, of course,” Buggy squeaked, his ears going red while Mihawk crushed his hand against the wood. “Sorry, boss, I was just feeling handsy! Ha, w-won’t happen again!”

Buggy’s tense giggle at the word handsy tore a laugh from you, and he managed to steal his hand back while Mihawk stood, his chair scraping across the floor. 

“Time for dessert,” he threatened, wicked fingers pulling you up by your hair. He dragged you away from the plates before tossing you on the edge of the table. Taking a seat between your legs, he gripped your ankles while you panted, trying to gain your bearings.

But you couldn’t gain your bearings, Crocodile’s lips crashing onto yours taking you over. He sat beside you, a satisfied noise leaving his throat at your desperate reaching for him. 

“Since you’re feeling so handsy, why don’t you pin hers down?”

Buggy hesitated for a moment, but pulled up a chair on your other side before his floating hands pressed your wrists into the wooden table above your head. Even though this was exactly where you wanted to be, being restrained and surrounded on three sides had you resisting against his hold. 

“You look so pretty like this, sweetheart,” Crocodile purred, tracing the side of his hook along your struggling arms, the barest scrape of the sharp point making you gasp.

“He’s right, such a tasty little rabbit in our trap,” Mihawk agreed, speeding your pulse as he pulled your panties down your legs. He dropped them onto Buggy’s lap, bringing a whimper from those painted lips. “Try not to come in your little pillowcase this time, and you might get to do more than hold her down.”

Buggy met your gaze, the need in his darkened eyes making your breath hitch.

He’s never looked at me like this before.

Your lovely clown, the Warlord of the Sea that had rescued you from your boring life. He'd taken you to new highs, given you more pleasure than you’d ever known. Before they came, he had looked at you like he wanted to eat you, to take you, to keep you. 

But the look on his face when he watched these other men have their way with you was something else.

He fucking loves this.

Before you could smile at the thought, a wicked tongue dragged through your folds, circling around your clit before plunging inside you. You filled the air with Mihawk’s name as he devoured you, until Crocodile’s fingers muffled your moans, making you tear up while he smirked at your stuffed mouth.

“Do you mind? I prefer a little music with my meals.”

Mihawk smeared his face along your inner thigh, and you shivered at the feel of his wet facial hair teasing your skin. Crocodile huffed a laugh, but pulled his fingers out of your mouth. He lifted the fabric of your top, tearing more of the clothes that Buggy had bought for you into shreds before playing with your breasts.

So many sounds left your throat as they teased you, Buggy’s hands gripping hard while you writhed for them.

Predators toying with their prey. 

“Please,” you begged, earning a laugh vibrating through your core as Mihawk kept going. You were already twitching before his long fingers entered you, Crocodile’s hook tracing dangerously down the side of your body.

“Fuck, Mihawk, I’m so–”

“Close,” he taunted, pulling away from you. Crocodile gave a disgruntled noise, but followed suit, taking his hand away from your chest. He left his hook though, the point resting lightly below your ribs while he looked toward the man between your legs. 

“I think we were close to something earlier,” Mihawk continued, his fingers playing along your thighs while you squirmed with need. “Close to learning more about our precious numbers girl.”

The loss of that almost release had you whimpering, but his words fell over you like a weight. 

“She’s been good, hawk-eyes. Don’t be so mean,” Crocodile smiled, brushing a bit of hair from your face.

“You know I’m going to make her scream, but my curiosity has been piqued. I just have to know,” he threatened, pressing his fingers into you. You moaned when he found that spot, but he tortured you, the touch too slow for relief. “Tell me, darling. Why do you carry such contempt for these wealthy clients of yours? You told us that your life was boring, but you snarled like a beast. Did we take in a monster instead of a sweet, little rabbit?”

He attacked you then, his free hand on your clit while his fingers brought you close again. You couldn’t answer through desperate moans, and the sobs that followed as he cut you off again.

“Please, sir. Please,” you choked out, shaking with need.

“Why do you hate them, Y/N?”

Your name on Mihawk’s lips always seemed to wake you, and you tried to calm your breathing before struggling for an answer.

“They’re terrible people,” you gasped, faltering at Crocodile’s low chuckle. “They don’t care about anything besides staying rich, and impressing the same circle of vapid families with how much berry they can waste on stupid, pretentious bullshit. They’re so fucking obsessed with status, they’d throw someone to the wolves just for the slim chance of their inbred blood marrying into the Celestial Dragons.”

Your body had forgotten its need, seething as the words raged through you. These were thoughts you fought to ignore, useless, meaningless thoughts that could do nothing but piss you off.

Buggy released one of your wrists, cradling your cheek as his thumb gently stroked back and forth. You looked away from the confusion and concern in his eyes, embarrassment filling you like bile. 

As if he felt your shift, Mihawk lowered your legs, coming to sit on the table beside Crocodile, and you clamped your eyes shut against the force of their stares.

“I’m sorry–”

“Don’t be,” Crocodile rasped, rubbing his hand along your arm. “I’m glad my sweet girl has some fire in her.”

“I agree,” the swordsman interrupted as he laid his still-wet fingers on your side, “but this seems personal. Why do you hate them so much, pet. Tell the truth.”

“I just… I’ve been surrounded by these people for years. They trust me with their money, and their money comes with secrets. I see what they do with all the wealth I help them grow, and I see what they don’t do. But even with all that berry, and all that selfishness, they are still so fucking boring.”

A wicked laugh left your throat, and you found yourself smiling as you looked into three sets of eyes. You melted for them, letting the heat of your need for them pour from you.

“But you promised that I wouldn’t be bored with you,” your voice came out in a purr, and you relished as all three faces filled with hunger when you writhed for them. 

Mihawk jutted forward to pinch your pouting lip, something new and dangerous flashing in his eyes.

“Are you trying to manipulate us,” he dared, tilting his head as he scanned your face. “Did you already forget who owns you?”

“No,” you gasped, lifting your neck as he tugged your lip further.

“Mihawk, back–”

“Can you believe what a dirty slut your sweet girl is,” he taunted, his free hand tracing up your thigh while you held your breath. “She just tried to use her body to distract us. You really loved being called a whore, didn’t you?”

You fell back when he released your lip, moaning as he yanked your hips toward the edge of the table. Your legs dangled off the side, and you tried to slide off to stand until he ordered Buggy to pin your wrists down again. 

Buggy’s brows creased as he hesitated for a moment, a small line of worry etched into his face paint. Yet he obeyed, leaving you to glance up at Crocodile, imploring him for forgiveness that you weren’t sure you wanted. Your eyes fluttered closed when he leaned down, kissing your temple.

“It’s true, isn’t it,” he asked, his husky voice overwhelming you. The point of his hook ghosted across your chest, forcing you to slow your breathing. “I promised all you gotta do is tell me what you want, and I’ll take care of you, but you still don’t believe me? Manipulation is real fuckin' close to lying, brat.”

“P-please, I–”

“You’d better watch your fucking mouth,” he threatened, his hook pressing into the side of your neck. “You’re gonna take what we give you, and then you’re gonna tell us the truth. Don’t make me show you what I do to liars, girl.”

Nodding stretched your throat against that sharp point, so you whispered your compliance. He withdrew the threat as Mihawk’s evil laughter moved closer. 

“I’m not so forgiving,” the other man smirked as he lifted your legs over his shoulders. You barely had time to meet his golden eyes before he shoved his cock into you, laughing through your screams.

“Using your body against me,” Mihawk scoffed as he grabbed at your chest, pinching one of your nipples while he pounded into you. “I’ll show you what it means to be used, rabbit. You get to be a real whore tonight.”

The acoustics in the banquet hall were incredible, your screams of pleasure flying through the room as you came on his brutal cock.

“What a spoiled little cunt. I wonder how many rounds you can take? Would you still like a turn, clown?”

Buggy coughed, looking up from the sight of your pussy taking all that abuse.

“Wha–”

“Did you ever call her a slut? Did you ever fuck her like the desperate whore she is right now?”

“No, I…” 

“Mihawk–” Crocodile leaned in, pressing his hand down on your chest. The swordsman never stopped fucking you, and you had to fight to pay attention.

“She earned this, sandman, and I think we should give our toy a treat. He’s been so good at holding her down, and keeping his mouth shut while I ruin his pretty star’s pretty little cunt. Let me play. I know you’re enjoying it.”

“… Fine. Only because she deserves this punishment. You hear that, brat,” he rasped, grabbing your face to watch you wither under his silver glare. “You try something like this again, and I’ll let twisted hawkeye pick your punishment.”

He pushed away just as another orgasm was ripped from you, your body clenching around Mihawk’s while he dug his nails into your hips.

“Hardly a punishment. You’re nothing but a slutty little hole, aren’t you,” he jeered, rolling into you until your eyes rolled back. “Alright clown, if you still want to stick your dick into this comeslut, you need to follow my instructions. Do you still want to fuck her?”

Buggy looked down at you with wide eyes, and you couldn’t tell if he’d noticed your nod of consent as Mihawk slammed into you, but either way, he whispered, “yes.”

“Good toy,” Mihawk praised, his breath heavy as his thrusts started to stagger. “As soon as I’m done, you’re going to fuck my come into her. You’re going to call her a whore, and you’re going to fuck her like one. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” Buggy rasped, squeezing your wrists twice before taking his hands back to undress. Crocodile caught both of your hands in his. His eyebrow lifted just a tad, and you closed your eyes, knowing a smile would be on your lips if you weren’t making so many ungodly noises. 

Your safe word crossed your mind. All of your lovers knew it. 

But you weren’t even close to needing it. 

I’m such a slut.

You almost laughed to yourself, until you felt Mihawk start to twitch inside you.

“Look at my happy little whore. Just wait, darling. You’ll be crying soon enough,” he laughed before groaning, shoving his cock so fucking deep while he filled you. The heat of him made your eyes roll back, and you weren’t ready when they switched. 

Buggy’s needy moan arched your back. The feel of him sinking into your messy cunt after everything that had happened felt insane, electric. You met his gaze, his blown out eyes hardly human as he followed Mihawk’s lead, fucking into you like an animal. 

“Tell her what she is, toy,” Mihawk ordered softly, smirking at you over Buggy’s shoulder. 

“You’re…” Buggy started, his head tilting back as his breath sped through him. 

“You’d better not come before you tell her what a slut she is. And you’d better act like you mean it.”

Your sweet clown looked frantic as Mihawk’s dangerous fingers danced over his shoulders.

“You’re such a slut,” Buggy tried again, his soft voice making you moan. His bottom lip scraped through his teeth while he watched you react to him, and you cried out his name as he fucked you harder.

“You like this, don’t you,” he asked, voice gaining confidence with each word, with each thrust until you were screaming. “You like being a flashy little whore, huh? Like making me watch your pussy get fucking wrecked everyday?”

“Fuck, yes, Buggy, please.”

“Gods, Y/N, you feel so fucking good baby–…”

“She’s not good, she’s a dirty fucking hole to fill,” Mihawk growled, gripping Buggy’s hair while he whimpered. “Tell her what she is, and you can come inside her right now.”

“F-fuck, you’re a dirty slut. You filthy fucking whore. Fuck, I’m–”

That twitching, throbbing cock filled you and filled you, it felt like it just kept going. Just a few more of those desperate, overstimulated thrusts of his would have sent you over the edge again. You hadn’t even noticed when Mihawk took over pinning your wrists before Buggy was pulled away, and large, ringed fingers played in the mess he’d left.

Crocodile’s eyes burned into you as he scooped come out of your used cunt, rubbing it along his shaft before pressing the tip of him to your entrance. You squirmed away, stopping your movement too late.

“Get her on the floor, clown. I don’t wanna break the table giving this brat what she deserves.”

Your limbs were loose as the other man got you to the ground, spreading your legs for Crocodile as he lined himself up, grabbing your hip to hold you in place.

“This is nothing, sweetheart,” he threatened, bullying his massive cock into you, the other men’s come being forced out to make room. A satisfied hum vibrated through him at your pathetic little whimpers. “You need to know how fucking serious I am.”

“Okay,” you breathed, eyes stinging with tears as he shoved himself all the way in.

“If I ever find out you lied to me,” he growled, filling you again and again as he started thrusting, “you’re not gonna like the punishment you get. I don’t care how sweet, how pretty, or how fucking useful you are, you’re gonna be hurting. Do you understand me?”

“Y-yes,” you whined, the pain almost tipping to pleasure before he got mean, fucking you into the floor. 

“Yes, what, brat?”

“Daddy, yes da–”

“Fuck,” he moaned, drowned out by your screams. 

Crocodile didn’t stop, fucking you as your body shook, fucking you until your tongue hung loose, the hint of drool at the corner of your lips. 

“I’m gonna fill this bratty little pussy up, then you’re gonna be a good girl and tell the truth, because we can do this all night. Are you gonna be a good girl, or are we gonna have to keep taking turns ‘til your pretty little cunt starts crying?”

“I’ll be good, daddy. So good–”

“Mm, just like that. Fuck, you take my come so well…”

He filled you impossibly full, come spilling down the sides of his cock onto your already sticky thighs. Then he left you empty, but not cold, sliding down your body to press soft kisses to your neck and shoulder. 

“You really are smitten, aren’t you, Croc?”

Mihawk’s taunt sent tension through the larger man’s body, and you held your breath while those silver gray eyes poured over your features. 

“We’ve got a good girl here,” he countered, brushing hair from your face. “As long as she’s not a liar.”

“Yes, yes,” the swordsman tutted, “let’s get our girl cleaned up so she can tell us all about that hatred in her heart.”

The afterglow dwindled quickly at those words, but soon Mihawk was wrapping you in a tablecloth, lifting you into his arms. He hummed again when you let your head rest against his shoulder, tilting his face to leave a kiss on the top of your head. That little touch brought all your relaxation back, even from the frightening man that held you. 

Buggy snuck a quick kiss to your cheek while everyone got a turn under the hot water, and sleepiness hit you hard as Mihawk wrapped a towel around you. You’d watched him shave while the shower warmed up, and now you stood on the fluffy bath mat, swaying while you stared at him in the large mirror. Crocodile had left, and Buggy hovered near the door, but you were caught on the swordsman.

“What’s that?”

You stepped closer, but pulled your hand back before picking up the dark glass bottle he’d tilted into his palm. Those unreadable golden eyes flicked to you while he dragged his fingers over his jaw, spreading that incredible smelling liquid through his facial hair.

“You tell me, bloodhound,” he smirked, holding his palm in front of your face. 

“Fuck, that smells so good.”

“Of course it does,” he chuckled, “what do you think is in–”

“Play your sniffing game tomorrow,” Crocodile grumbled through the door. “If our girl doesn't tell us the truth, we're gonna have a second round, and I’d like to get some sleep tonight.”

“Better not make daddy angry,” Mihawk warned in a hushed voice, nibbling on your ear before pushing you toward the door. “Better not make me angry either, rabbit. You know I can read you like a book.”

Shivering, you moved past Buggy’s wide eyes, glad to have him there. Mihawk guided you to sit against the headboard while the three of them sat around the edges of the bed, surrounding you again.

Silence strangled you, and you were about to crawl out of your skin until they all started speaking at once. The others conceded, leaving Mihawk to lean forward, touching your ankle as he spoke. 

“Tell us the real reason why you hate your wealthy clients, hate wealthy people in general? There’s something personal, and we need to know before you invite a whole slew of them to our lovely home. Can’t have you poisoning all the people who might give us berry now, can we?”

“I’m sure I’m not the only person who thinks rich people are trash,” you laughed awkwardly, yelping as his long fingers dug into your skin. “I'm s-sorry, it's just a joke…”

“Answer the question,” Crocodile ordered. His voice was empty, leaving your mind to fill in the terrifying blanks of what he had in store for you if you failed him. 

“Okay, I’m sorry,” you sighed, covering your face with your hands while you tried to pull your thoughts together. You opened your eyes to catch Buggy’s soft, worried smile, and you knew his hands would be comforting you right now if he thought they’d allow it. 

“I grew up with money, alright,” you spilled out, sounding more annoyed than you’d meant to.

Dead silence was finally killed by Mihawk’s derisive laughter.

“No wonder she’s such a brat, Crocodile. We’ve got a spoiled, little rich girl on our hands.”

“Shut up!”

Clamping your hands over your mouth too late, your eyes darted between all of their shocked faces. Buggy’s head had lifted a couple of inches off his neck, as if the force of his eyebrows raising had pulled it into the air. You bit your lip hard to keep from releasing panicked laughter. Crocodile moved closer, mirroring Mihawk with his hand on your leg.

“Tell us why you’re angry,” he soothed, rubbing his thumb along your skin. “But you need to stop making us dig for it, sweetheart. I’m not known for my patience.”

Blinking away stupid tears before they could fall, you nodded, letting your head fall back against the headboard before trying to speak. When the words finally came, it was like an echo through an empty room, your eyes almost unfocused as you told the boring tale.

“Family was rich. I grew up in those circles with all the parties, and galas, and expectations. I didn’t like it then either. But my dad died…”

Emotion swelled through the emptiness, and you had to swallow it down to steady your voice again. One of Buggy’s hands flew to yours, and no one stopped you from holding it.

“We stopped being rich. All those friends and neighbors stopped seeing us as real people. Even the parts of my family that are still rich treated us… They wanted us to beg for their help. To roll over, and let them– Fuck!”

They were all frozen through your frustrated yell. Buggy’s hand floated anxiously at your side after you’d dropped it to throw your hands into the air, digging your nails into your palms as anger rocked you. 

Why am I doing this? I’m such a fucking idiot. 

Your scolding thoughts couldn’t stop the wave of rage as it pushed through you.

“I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about them. How badly are you gonna hurt me tonight if I don’t tell you anything else? Why don't I save you some time, because I will take a lot of punishment if we can just fucking drop it.”

The ringing in your ears seemed to last for hours until your labored breathing started to calm. Blue, gold, and silver eyes pierced through your body like vicious jewelry, clinging to your skin as you tried to disappear. You went unfocused again, staring vaguely toward the crown moulding as you awaited whatever pain they might inflict.

Almost at once, the three of them crawled forward, and you held your breath as they settled around you, their warm hands smoothing over your body. Mihawk and Crocodile brought their lips to your skin, Mihawk’s trailing down your neck while you twitched and whined. Crocodile kissed your temple before breathing along your ear.

“We promised to take care of you, Y/N. Want us to take care of somebody for you?”

“Hm,” you asked, a headache forming from the onslaught of emotions. 

“You’re ours, little rabbit. If you'd like someone to die, all you have to do is point the way.”

“Just tell me who, sweetheart. Daddy’ll gut them for you.”

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you!!

a/n: I honestly thought we'd never get to the reader's back story what with all the fuckin' 😅

Tag List: @shewrites02 | @caniseethefourthsword | @hey-august | @chaoticqueen33 | @destinationmars | @novakitten0901 | @h0n3y-l3m0n05 | @dorky-birdie | @szired | @pinejayy | @laws-wife-things | @jadeddangel | @gingernut1314 | @urlocaltwink | @blue-rae18 | @bontensbabygirl |

Part 14

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |

[talkingpointsusa]

Michael Knowles argues that a Superbowl ad will convert secular liberals to Christianity because it speaks in "woke-ese" and tries to sell 20 dollar bottles of MAGA water

Ah, the face of a man who lost money by betting that the Superbowl would be violently overtaken by radical leftists (source; The Michael Knowles Show on Daily Wire)

Well, the griftosphere coverage of the Superbowl was surprisingly boring. Dave Rubin barely talked about it, Ben Shapiro rambled about how the Superbowl is proof that America is getting older, I don't think Matt Walsh talked about it at all, we just did Tim Pool so I'm not going to subject you guys to more of him that quickly, and Charlie Kirk interviewed three senators about how the commercials were too woke.

So where do I go to when I want an absolutely idiotic take on a current event? I check on Daily Wire third banana Michael Knowles!

00:00, Michael Knowles: "The Superbowl occurred, I am told, I don't know for certain. I actually attended a Superbowl party and still I did not catch even one second of the game, which is fine by me as I later discovered that the game began with one of the most offensive public displays around these days, the so-called black national anthem."

So, this is one of the main things that the griftosphere has been complaining about in the wake of the Superbowl and I figure now is as good a time as any to talk about the history of the black national anthem.

The actual name of the black national anthem is Lift Every Voice and Sing and it was written as a poem in the late 1800's by a man named James Weldon Johnson and put to music by his brother John Rosamond Johnson. The NAACP dubbed it the black national anthem in 1919. 1919 was actually more than a decade before the Star Spangled Banner became the national anthem of the United States. It has been a rallying cry for civil rights ever since and was even sung by crowds after the JFK assassination. So Michael acting like this anthem popped out of nowhere a couple years ago is ridiculous and ahistorical.

01:15, Michael Knowles: "But that song has increasingly come to be seen as an alternate national anthem. One of two national anthems because we now have two nations."

Or, this is a performance meant to provide an olive branch to the black community in the wake of a string of violent attacks against them, oftentimes being carried out by law enforcement.

I don't get why this is such a big deal. So they sang Lift Every Voice and Sing, what's the big deal? This is a complete non-issue in every conceivable way.

02:36, Michael Knowles: "I didn't watch the game at all while it was on."

Do you want a medal? I didn't either.

02:38, Michael Knowles: "I went back and watched some of the highlights. I watched Travis Kelce screaming at that poor elderly man, I watched the black national anthem or at least part of it, and I watched some of the ads."

There are two things you can always count on conservatives to throw a shit-fit about after the Superbowl; the national anthem and the ads. Now that we've got one out of the way, it's time to talk about Superbowl commercials.

Also, I love the implication that Michael was so horrified by the black national anthem that he had to turn it off before it was even finished. Keep in mind that it's not a particularly long performance clocking in at two minutes and thirty three seconds.

02:47, Michael Knowles: "And there was one ad above all that was extremely controversial and it elicited the most anger, the most loathing, the most rending and gnashing of teeth. It was an ad from a group called He Gets Us that was, well I'll just let you see it, you form your own conclusions."

Ok, so conservatives are really ticked about this ad from a Christian group called "He Gets Us" that depicted a series of images depicting certain people washing other peoples feet. The griftosphere is pissed because they feel like parts of the ad glorified things such as being gay.

While you might feel inclined to view this group as a well-meaning religious organization seeking to preach equality to the masses, don't be fooled. This ad is a trojan horse containing a group that is just as hateful as the things they pretend to be against. He Gets Us is funded by the Green family who have used the funds that they have acquired from their ownership of Hobby Lobby to fund anti-LGBTQ organizations. Their idea of "loving gay people" is to pressure them into revoking their sexuality. So, they are far from left-wing and deserve to be acknowledged as a hate group using sleazy marketing to trick people into viewing them as accepting.

I find the fact that these idiots are all pissed at this ad really hilarious because this group is super ideologically aligned with them. They want the same form of far-right Christian fascism as you guys do, they are just better at concealing it.

Anyway, Michael stunningly enough doesn't really mind this ad because he thinks that it's going to convert secular liberals to christianity.....yes really.

05:17, Michael Knowles: "I didn't totally hate this ad because it's in woke-ese. Because it's written in this woke language. Because the symbols and the signs and the whole language of the ad is for secular liberals."

"Woke-ese", does he even know what he's talking about? Was the Bible written in woke-ese? Because that's where the parable of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples came from.

I mean I kind of agree that this ad is trying to launder far-right ideology through an outward appearance of acceptance but I never said it did a good job of it. The ad was kind of cringeworthy and most people who I know on the left looked at it and rolled their eyes at how cheesy it was. Plus, when you Google this organization the info about the hate-groups that fund them comes right up.

06:27, Michael Knowles: "The conclusion that a lot of Christians are drawing is 'Well the ad is insinuating that if you protest abortion, your hateful. That the ad is insinuating that if you object to LGBTLMNOP style stuff that you are hateful.'"

Ding-ding-ding! You hit the nail on the head....well, not about the ad but about those things you mentioned being hateful!

06:41, Michael Knowles: "I'm not certain that that's what the ad is saying. I think the ad is reaching out to secular liberals who have an aversion to Christianity and to Jesus and to faith and is trying to speak their language."

They got lost in translation.

08:14, Michael Knowles: "Your orange haired lesbian cousin who hates her dad is not going to read the Summa Theologiae set that you did not buy her, ok."

As a guy who is friends with multiple lesbians, some of which have orange hair, I would like to make the statement that all of them are a thousand times cooler than Michael Knowles.

Also, the Summa Theologica? Yeah, that's some light reading that will help introduce young fence-sitters to Christianity. If your cousin refuses to read the Summa Theologica, maybe it's less about a hatred of Jesus and more about the fact that the Summa Theologica is a 3,025 page doorstopper that is a pretty complicated read.

08:27, Michael Knowles: "If an ad can get some secular liberal, and that's who these ads are for, for even one second to even consider our lord. To even maybe have some slight increase in affection for our lord, I'm fine with it."

Again, there is absolutely no way that a kind of corny ad that half the population made fun of is going to convert anybody. Especially when a google search for the organization reveals their more hateful funding.

09:32, Michael Knowles: "From what I can gather about this ad, the He Gets Us thing, it's funded by right-wing evangelicals. It's not totally clear but it sort of seems like that."

It seems pretty clear from what I've found but at least Michael seems directionally aware that these guys are on his team. That makes him at least slightly smarter than Matt Walsh. I still think it's super unlikely that this ad is going to convert anybody if only because of how ham-fisted it is.

Anyway, Michael plays an ad from Hallow which is one of the sponsors for his show. Definitely no conflict of interest there. Then he switches to his next topic....Trump's ad targeting Nikki Haley.

13:56, Michael Knowles: "The interesting thing about this ad is that it's against Nikki Haley. Trump is destroying Nikki Haley in all of the polls, why is he going after her in a Superbowl ad? These ads are very expensive."

So, Trump made a Superbowl ad attacking Nikki Haley for wanting to change social security rules.

I mainly view this as an act of pettiness on Trumps part, if anything, but lets see Michaels take.

14:07, Michael Knowles: "One, because anything can happen in politics. Especially when the liberal establishment is prosecuting you, trying to throw you in prison, I don't know they might try to kill him at some point."

Lets say Trump does go to jail or the left kills him like Michael has been saying for a while now (shockingly enough it hasn't happened yet), why exactly would an attack ad against Nikki Haley be the most reasonable course of action? If you're dead there's absolutely nothing you can do and in jail your capabilities are severely limited. This makes zero sense.

14:17, Michael Knowles: "He wants to make sure there's no even semi-viable challenge to him, so this was the kill shot."

If Trump is dead or in jail the options for other people to try and take his spot will open up really quickly. Again, this is a completely nonsensical argument based on nothing.

Anyway, here's Michael talking about how we have a "cultural problem".

14:44, Michael Knowles: "But you remember back in the day the Tea Party, the Paul Ryan types, broadly the conservative movement was all for entitlement reform. And the argument for it was 'we need to get our fiscal house in order before we deal with the social problems'. Some people even called for a social truce. Let's have a truce, lets put a pause on the social fights so we can stop the new red menace which is consisting of ink. And at the time it sounded like an ok idea. The problem was, we learned that you can't fix the fiscal problems without fixing the cultural one."

How are the two things related at all? The culture war nonsense that the right has been pushing is basically defined by such important issues as one beer can with a transwoman on it and commercials having too many minorities in them. It's all made up nonsense meant to distract from the real issues.

15:30, Michael Knowles: "Until you fix the border, until you fix the family, until you fix national sovereignty, until you fix basic social issues you're simply not gonna fix basic social issues."

Let's go through these one at a time;

1): I've talked about this so many times on this blog but the "border crisis" is basically a figment of far-right medias imagination. Also, the Republicans keep blocking legislation to make the border more secure. Also, since when did the border become a social issue? It seems pretty financial to me.

2): The family? Is the family broken now? This is probably a dogwhistle for a thousand different things ranging from gay marriage to surrogacy.

3): National sovereignty is even more confusing. Last I checked, the United States is still independent. I guess Michael thinks we're being governed by Britain again or something.

Note how these are either meaningless platitudes meant to inspire outrage or manufactured moral panics. If this is the best Michael has got to prove his point, it just ain't a good point.

16:16, Michael Knowles: "There are plenty of reasons to attack Trump and people will do it for all sorts of reasons. But one of the dumbest arguments I think is that Trump doesn't have a clear kind of Conservatism."

Oh yeah, that's an argument that people make all the time. Why just yesterday I was at the casino playing poker and the guy sitting across from me said "You know the problem with that Trump guy? He doesn't have a clear conservative ideology." I love how these guys just make up arguments for them to refute.

Trump does have a clear kind of conservatism. It starts with an "f" and ends with "ascism".

17:21, Michael Knowles: "Speaking of the presidential race, Democrats have had it with Joe Biden. That press conference I think was the nail in the coffin. They saw the special council report that Joe Biden is an amiable old man who is not fit to stand trial because he's so senile."

So, Joe Biden has recently been making a lot of gaffes which is a little concerning due to his age. You know who else has been making a lot of gaffes though? Donald Trump. For crying out loud, he called Viktor Orban "the leader of Turkey" and declared in one speech that Biden would lead the country into World War II while also saying that he was ahead of Obama in the 2024 polls. Strangely enough, you don't hear Michael Knowles talking about those missteps. The only way to argue this point honestly is saying that neither of these men have any business running due to their age.

That being said, the report that Michael is talking about is pretty partisan. Robert Hur was a Trump appointed U.S attorney. It's pretty clear that he's towing the Republican parties narrative line in his report.

I don't get the narrative in MAGA media about Biden by the way. He's a senile doddering old man who also somehow has the mental capacity to steal an election from Trump and cook up plots to replace the white population with migrants that will vote exclusively democrat. It's a complete and total narrative disconnect.

Anyway, Michael plays a clip from Bill Maher saying the Biden needs to go. I love how these guys all pretend that Bill Maher isn't one of them. They do the same thing with Tim Pool to a lesser extent. Notice how the only "leftist" they all seem to agree with consistently is Bill Maher. I wonder why that is?

18:55, Michael Knowles: "The Democrats realize that they are in a very bad situation. Even if they rig all the votes in all the different states, it's still gonna be tough."

I don't think Michael realizes what the term "rigging" means. See, when you rig an election that means that you have set it up so that you inevitably win.

Michael also plays a clip from CNN and then advertises one of the scamiest products I have ever seen.

20:50, Michael Knowles: "If the Democrats lose this election you know what we're gonna have a lot of? Woke Tears! That's why you've gotta check out Woke Tears water."

I normally skip over the parts where these guys try to hawk their shit because who gives a crap but I was intrigued by this product because it's so stupid. So, it's basically MAGA bottled water right and guess how much it costs? 8 dollars? Nope! 10 dollars? Yes....is what I would be saying if it didn't cost 20 freaking dollars for a six pack!

I know it says $18.95, but if you factor in tax it's $20.51. But hey at least the shipping's free! That totally makes up for the fact that you're paying 20 bucks for bottled water. For context on how absolutely insane this price is, here's the price of a six pack of Aquafina bottled water.

It's a totally insane price! I can't put myself in the headspace where I would pay 20 dollars for bottled water just so I could "own the libs". I know that all of these weird MAGA products like Black Rifle Coffee are complete scams but come on, at least try to avoid your grift being too transparent.

Also, if I was the Daily Wire I wouldn't be OK with this company ripping off my schtick. These guys ripped off your "Leftist Tears" tumblers and you're not only letting it slide but advertising for them?! I guess you can't argue with some cash. Come to think of it, how much does it cost to advertise on the Daily Wire? Is it possible that I could advertise my blog which is pretty focused on making fun of the Daily Wire on the Daily Wire? Could I force Matt Walsh to call himself a professional sociopath? Only time shall tell, back to Michael Knowles.

22:04, Michael Knowles: "There is a theory, you hear it in right-wing circles, 'Joe Biden is not really the president, who's really calling the shots?' I don't know, I'm sure he's neglecting whole swaths of the government but when he does assert something I think he gets it. I think Joe Biden, when he wants to be, is actually the president."

See what I mean? Joe Biden is a confused dementia patient but when he asserts himself he is actually the president and from the sounds of it is pretty dominant. These two narratives are completely incongruous with each other and Michael doesn't seem to understand that.

22:25, Michael Knowles: "If Joe Biden were not the president, he would not have been permitted to give that press conference."

Yeah, because the Democratic Party has a magic crystal ball that can predict when Biden is going to make a gaffe in a press conference. This is one of those statements that sounds really stupid if you think about it for more than 11 seconds.

Michael plays a clip of Karine Jean-Pierre addressing a question that Peter Doocy posed about Biden's mental state. Now it's time for Michael to talk about Mo'nique, would you believe that it's shockingly racist?

25:52, Michael Knowles: "Speaking of black women, talking about Karine Jean-Pierre not Joe Biden, speaking of black women-"

Golly, thanks for clearing that up. Carry on.

25:57, Michael Knowles: "Mo'nique just recently complained on some random podcast that she would be much more famous if she were a white woman."

Essentially, this was an appearance that Mo’nique made on a podcast called Club Shay Shay. It's less about being "famous" and more about money and payment.

The racial pay gap is quite a large problem. Black women are paid a third less than white men for the same task. Now, is somebody with a net worth of thirteen million the best representative of this issue? Not exactly. But what she does have is a platform and if her experiences can shed light on this issue, more power to her.

26:56, Michael Knowles: "I think she's basically half right. A lot of conservatives are going to jump down her throat here and say 'You're playing the race card and you're playing the victim and you're not really the victim and-' but she's probably right. If she were white she would appeal to the culture of more people."

He had me for about 2 seconds and then immediately lost me again.

27:19, Michael Knowles: "Her comedy has been specifically targeted at black culture and black people make up something like 12 to 14 percent of the country."

Naturally, white people cannot appreciate black comedy. No siree.

This is ridiculous. And she's also an actress. What about roles that she's cast in?

27:25, Michael Knowles: "America is a - was a white country."

"White people are the majority population in the US....wait, I also believe in the great replacement theory. WAS a white country guys!"

Also, define white country because America was an indigenous country first. Are minorities getting rights an erasure of America being a white country? Ascribing races to countries is just gross.

27:36, Michael Knowles: "So, yeah that's true. If you appeal to a minority population you're gonna be less famous than if you appealed to the majority of the population, that's true."

"Hey, I know you are being paid less than your white colleagues but have you ever considered being whiter?"

I don't see how Michael thinks that this argument is less racist than the alternative.

28:04, Michael Knowles: "But I think her concern is legitimate. She's saying there is this distinct culture within America that I appeal to but the culture that I appeal to and the majority culture are not synonymous and so that is just naturally restricting my growth potential. Yeah, that's true."

That's totally ridiculous. Again, is a black actress just automatically a part of "black culture" and walled out of white culture? If that is true, that's still racist.

28:41, Michael Knowles: "This is also why calls to radically change the demographics of the country will inevitably affect national culture. Now when we're talking about changing the demographics of the country we're actually not really talking about black and white anymore, we're talking about importing a lot of hispanic's into the country through an open border."

Only Michael Knowles could turn a segment about Mo'nique into a piece on the great replacement theory. Anyway, the Great Replacement Theory is a complete load of horseshit that isn't backed up by the data at all. Whenever I hear about the Great Replacement Theory, I just hear white paranoia.

"Wait, they might start treating me like I treat them? Unthinkable!"

Conclusion:

Michael Knowles is such a complete and utter clod and this episode is no different. I am kind of stunned that 20 dollar MAGA water exists and can't wait to see the uptick in Gen Z'ers converting to christianity after seeing some really awkward Superbowl ad from an organization funded by a hate group.

Cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

[1984tilforever]

Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty - so, back in December 2020, CD Projekt RED released Cyberpunk 2077 in a state that could be, very mildly, describe as "troubled." Still I, like so many others, played and enjoyed it just fine on the good old PS4, even as it indeed suffered from occassionally hideous frame rate, glitches and a tendency to just crash. It was like I was gaming on my old, shitty PC back in the 90! Anywyay, three years later we now have Cyberpunk 2077's first - and only - piece of DLC, not to mention in a slew of updates leading to Cyberpunk 2077 version... 2.1. Also, I'm playing it on the Xbox Series S now because the DLC is not available for the PS4. And just as well!

First off, the 2.1 update does smooth the game experience somewhat. For instance, the entire leveling system has been streamlined, with web of incremental boosts that was the perk system being tied to your main six stats and redesigned to fit different play styles. Meanwhile armour has been tied to your cyberware, rather than your gear, meaning you can dress your avatar as you see fit while worrying that you don't have enough cash and components through which to upgrade your, well, upgrades. It's neat! I also think the gunplay has been improved just a smidge - it's no Doom, but fun enough - and you can even mount weapons on cars! Too bad that the handling of most vehicles remains as slippery as ever, you'd think Night City's streets are coated with a layer of grease on a nightly basis. Anyway.

But heading to Phantom Liberty itself, what we have here is a tight narrative package that's accessible around one-third into the main campaign. It's mainly set in a new, walled-off area of NC dubbed Dog Town. There's some narrative guff about how it was occupied by a warlord during some conflict or another, but what you really need to know is that it's yet another chunk of luxury real estate that's now occupied by the poor and downtrodden. Dog Town feels smaller in terms of sheer size compared to NC's other districts, but it is definitely more dense, with makeshift scaffolding snaking around half-built tower blocks that you can fully clamber on and explore, should you feel like it. The streets are also much narrower, meaning that if you're to drive around then your best choice of vehicle is the hilariously tiny two-seater jeep a generous patron hands you early on in this new adventure.

And what an adventure! What we have here is some of CDPR's best in terms of both narrative and mission design, as the game smoothly shifts genre from pitch-black noir to espionage. There's a literally explosive opening that has you rescue the president of the NUSA from her crashed space plane, one of the toughest choices I've ever had to face in a videogame and, spoilers here, little chance for a happy ending. Good thing you can cheer yourself up with the sillier side missions that will have you do things such as help a pair of idiots convince a Brain Dance star to do a performance at their shop or impersonate a legendary Colombian assassin in order to affect Dog Town politics. It's all very good stuff, but...

...Too bad the game still has a hideous tendency to crash at all the inopportune moments, and there's a bug where the game gets stuck as it autosaves ahead of major scripted moments, necessitating your quitting and restarting. The frame rate might be massively improved and the visuals are generally very pretty, but the PC gaming during the 90s feeling remains as strong as ever.

[5amanthus]

For the ask game :) 😈🎶🎯

Ask game

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

I don't know if I've ever been playfully mean to readers 😂 I'm either genuine, or just mean (i.e hurting blorbos, added angst, killing characters).

It's not really playful, but probably the closest example I have is this one person was obsessed with Purple/Xander, literally the biggest bigot/not-in-the-fun-way asshole™️/just downright awful character I had in the earlier part of my series and they shit all over my massively diverse/queer/disabled/neurodivergent cast of characters because I refused to give him a redemption arc, so later on I ended up taking some of their direct quotes and putting it in some of his dialogue while he was being an idiot and then I got rid of him a few chapters later.

        "Perhaps you can give me some valuable insight then. Tell me about the crew."

        He paused upon realizing the other man was actually trying to talk to him, "Where do I even start? Cyan is an absolute snake, don't trust that one. 'They' will backstab you. Lime is gross and has made 'gay' his whole personality. Black is creepy and a dad. Red is really fucking weird. I thought Pumpkin would be cool, but I hate her too. Yellow is okay, I guess. The Captain doesn't take anything seriously and he should have been fired ages ago. Pink is the nervous one. Uuh, honestly everyone is so forgettable. It's so hard to keep up with everyone, they might as well just be a bunch of colours with vague personality traits."

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I'm always listening to music and I absolutely do while I write! I've got over 100 playlists and pretty well all of my characters have at least 1 song if not more.

These are two I've had on repeat a lot because this band is great for just a specific vibe I need for a current original WIP about a trans woman going into a cabin in the woods to discover herself and she ends up coming out with a trans monster girlfriend 😄

Also been listening to this one a bunch because it fits a possible WIP I have about two characters who love each other trying to find the other again and again even as their ripped apart while their realities constantly change around them, but I won't say more because it's going to be a big project that I'm still trying to figure out a format for. (Brain says show, but I don't really have access to those kinds of resources, so I might write it but I think it's going to be difficult to capture in a story.)

This one is always on repeat cause it's a major Fuchsia and Dijon song and I have so many feelings about them, but they're not showing up again for a while. I have a whole scene planned for this one though, and some art too.

And I've got a whole playlist for the Spot/Venom fanfic thing I'm working on, but these two songs I've been listening to a lot out of the whole playlist. I should probably slap the playlist down, maybe in the fic when its done.

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

I don't really have readers that comment their guesses usually? Also I'm terrible for just blabbing about stuff instead of writing it, so people either know what's going to happen, or they comment that they were surprised by things! Like this comment, I love it a lot :D

"This has to be my fav fic in your Crews series yet. For context, I have binge read up to this chapter over the last two days.

Cyan having an altered imposter parasite was a fall-off-my-seat plot twist. Whoa! That explained what they were freaking out about when they had to get scanned and I thought they couldn't get their gloves off, but they weren't able to temporarily get the parasite to leave their body (because it was protecting them from the spawn of Chartreuse, but Cyan didn't know at the time). I want to go into more, but this paragraph alone is too long already."

Or I did have someone really accurately read a scene/the hints I left, which was great!

"When she flinched away from his hand the first time he went to touch her, I wonder whether he thought he'd partly reverted back to impostor form and that was what scared her? It must've been confusing for him to see her flinch away from a normal hand and realise it had nothing to do with his nature as an Impostor.

When Fuchsia comes during the night shift, it becomes clear Dijon is bad at hiding not only his strangeness, but even his ability to see in the dark; I wonder whether Orchid knows he's an Impostor. If so, mentioning she'd kill Pantone if she had a chance might've been an indirect approval for Dijon to get rid of him."

And the only other closest one would probably be people accurately calling Black and Red as impostors in V-Crew, but I wasn't really trying to hide that one 😂

[alien-witch-fangs-rp]

Aster E. Aethelweard

Sexual orientation: demisexual biromantic

Pronouns: He/Him

Gender identity: Transmasc

Age: Varies, rarely younger than 19 nor ever older than few centuries

General height: 6'2

Hair: Usually White

Eyes: Red

Species: Varies depending on AU

Generally personality/details: hard headed, soft hearted. He can be very teasing in nature either out of affection or cruelty. He can be quite insecure and can be insensitive, tries not to be. Smart but an idiot. Too curious for his own good sometimes, other times just stubborn or anxious. Mostly stubborn.

Has a sensitive to spirit and malevolent entities.

Usually has a scar through his left eye, a nasty scar over the centre of his chest, and missing his right arm. Prosthetic replacement or not, depends in au. Sometimes has a cat named Hades or a dog named Memoona, rare occasions both

Always necrophobic

AUs:

General ones:

Earth Bound Nov, Classic: ((Novs are my own species, and I am taking time to write all the details)) he's a shapeshifter with a temper, he prefers/tries to be left alone. But, sometimes he gets too curious for himself and pokes around at anything. He vision isn't fantastic, using his power of plants to at least get an idea if he doesn't have an itch to draw near yet.

Blessed by the forest god

Techician: human, usually 19yrs sometimes 23yrs old, he's a bit more cocky to hide his insecurities. He's not very boisterous and his sense of danger is a little on the uncaring side when it's over his safety. Others he gives more of a shit over and will do his best to defend even at his own risk.

Forest Prince: Usually 19yrs to 25ish yrs old, he's reckless and trying to separate himself a bit from his kingdom. Mostly from his parents' choice in men for him, he loves his people and wants better for them.

After they pass, he pursues it more vigilantly.

Has the least scars, with only having the scar in the of his chest and sometimes the one through his eye. Vessel for the forest god

Day Walker: age varies greatly. Semi classic vampire, sometimes pure blood but daywalker or half breed. His safety means nothing, he's not quite reckless but he will risk himself. He hunts other vampires, has little interest in giving most of his kin kindness. Used to humans not liking him and doesn't really have vested interest in changing that.

Sea Witch: a tiger mershark of undetermined age, hot tempered as a self-defense thing. He doesn't like having people near him, will refuse to speak on occasions. He prefers to be by himself but will sometimes allow others into his life. For the most part he's just interested in doing his own thing and working on his craft.

He might help others if asked but it comes at a price.

Replacement: he's an android of a sort, doesn't obey the laws of robotics. He doesn't have a lot of memories besides little pieces of a human life that he can't fully tell if it was his. He just knows that nobody owns him and he will be pissed if someone tries. He is disobedient and prickly.

Death God: despite the title he does more than deal with death and spirits. He is of familial love, magic, and nature. He is more of a guardian and guide, quite gentle and somber. He is very compassionate and though he sees the world and the happenings in it, he has a draw to be among the living. Sometimes giving himself a mortal body out of that draw.

Side AUs:

Selkie!, cursed prince (3 storylines), Merc!, Khajiit, Werepanther, Phantom, Muted Tech, Coma Spirit Tech, Haunted Suit, Shuttlebound (nov), Homeworld (nov), Ghost Hunter, Witch, Forest Farm (maybe neko, depends), Cafe Neko, Researcher (scp or others), Naga (godly and regular naga), Zoroark, werewolf, etc. ((I'm a nightmare to myself, I will make more))

[getosubaru]

𝒷𝒶𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉

fushiguro toji x gn!reader

best friends to lovers drabble series; based on these prompts

wc: 1.7k whatthefuck

tw/notes: small text only for description; papaguro AU; toji drives a motorcycle i know this is my heart; canon typical violence; guns/gunfight/shootout; background character death; reader can shoot & play pool; alcohol and cigarettes; both reader and toji drink & smoke; excessive curse words; very suggestive; it's fluffier than it sounds i promise; no mentions of reader’s body/skin/hair/etc.

prompt: “agreeing to kiss each other just to see what it’s like”

Way out of his league and way too good for the shitty divebars he drags you into.

Toji is well-aware of how much you don’t fit next to him. You don’t seem to think the same way.

Some bloated, overconfident biker in a leather vest that’s bursting at the seams whistles low as he sidles up to the bar next to you. “Shit,

Fushiguro, how’d you land somethin’ that sweet?”

Frankly, he’s got no idea but he’s not about to let this asshole know that.

Toji shrugs, sipping his beer with no intent to answer him.

You, apparently, aren’t about to let it go.

“He’s got a huge dick and a better bike than that chop-shop piece of shit you call a vehicle,” you drawl.

Dumbass doesn’t like that nor does he like Toji snickering into his glass.

“Fuck you just say–“

The idiot’s head hits the bartop with a sickening crack before he falls to the floor unconscious. You finish your drink and signal the amused bartender for another like you hadn’t just cracked a man’s skull.

Dumbass’ friends drag him outside with murmured apologies to you both.

It’s not the first time someone’s made the mistake of thinking you don’t belong and it sure as hell won’t be the last.

Toji might be a little in love with the way all the other men in the bar take a step back when you approach the pool table. Just a hint of the violence roiling under your skin and they all roll over like puppies.

Too good for trash like him, but he recognizes your wrath because it mirrors his own.

He knows better than to play you for money yet you sucker him in every time.

“1,000 a game?” you toss out, pulling a cue from the rack.

Toji shrugs like that isn’t all the money he’s got to his name. “Sure, babe.”

That earns him a smack on the back of his calf from the end of your cue stick.

You sink one first, taking stripes with a grin. He misses his next shot when you bend over to relace your boot.

For fuck’s sake.

“Come on, old man,” you say around a grin. “If you go easy on me, I’m going to kick your ass.”

The embarrassing part is he’s not intentionally going easy on you. He’s trying his goddamn best but you’re the one who keeps leaning over the pool table in those fucking jeans.

Toji loses spectacularly, not even managing to sink half of his set.

“Fuck you,” he grumbles, fishing out the last few bills in his wallet and tossing them at you.

You beam despite his foul attitude. “Rerack and I’ll get us more drinks. On you, of course.”

He could have mentioned before the game started that he was flat broke. He could have told you after he lost. You might have let him keep his change.

Probably not, honestly. You’re just as ruthless as he is. There’s surely been times he’s shaken you down for everything in your wallet.

No honor among thieves and all that.

The whiskey is well and the beer is flat, but it burns going down all the same.

You chuck a lighter at his head after you get your own smoke going. “Am I taking more of your money or not?”

“I ain’t got nothing left for you to take, sunshine,” replies Toji. “Unless you finally wanna start betting something more interesting?”

“How many times I gotta tell you you’re not getting your hands on my underwear?”

Toji grins at the indignant expression on your face; you’re no more a saint than he is. “C’mon, you can admit your undying love for me.”

“Just hold your breath waiting, baby,” you coo before turning your attention to the table.

You break but nothing sinks.

“How about this,” starts Toji, effortlessly shooting the 4 into a pocket. “You win and I’ll install that stupid ass aftermarket exhaust in your bike.” When you glare at him suspiciously, he raises his hands. “Free of charge, I swear.”

“And if you win?” you ask as you line up your shot.

Toji takes the opportunity to shuck off his oil-stained mechanic’s shirt, leaving him in just his white wifebeater.

The tip of your cue glances off the ball and you curse darkly.

“Focus on winning and you won’t have to find out.”

Between the booze and the cigarettes, Toji manages to keep himself focused on the game and not on your ass. Still, you’re good. Better than he is, though neither of you need to say it.

Eventually, all that’s left on the table is the cue ball and the 8.

“Still not gonna tell me, asshole?” you jeer as you circle the table, looking for your shot.

Toji’s not looking at you; he’s watching a pair of cocksure idiots argue over something–money or women, he can’t be sure, but the hair on the back of his neck is sticking up.

“C’mere,” he orders you.

His tone is serious, flat. He doesn’t take is eyes off the men two tables over.

Toji gets you back into your jacket before he slips his shirt and leather bomber on.

Others are taking notice of the pair. Higashi, the bartender and a friend of Toji’s, pats the sidearm holstered at his waist. Misako and Haniko, a couple you’re close with, finish their drinks and head towards the door.

Misako gives Toji a hard look as she follows her wife, glancing pointedly at you.

Before he can do as she demands and get you the fuck out of the bar, shots ring out.

Toji slams you to the ground and drops on top of you, tipping the pool table over in the process to provide some cover.

You’re in sync with him, pulling the gun from his waistband and passing it over. Your own weapon is out before he can take the safety off of his.

“One fuckin’ night is too much to ask,” he spits out, peering over the edge of the table to survey the scene.

Higashi puts a bullet in the gut of one of the morons firing, but it doesn’t seem to slow the man down.

You’ve always been an excellent shot. Pool, guns, even throwing knives. While Toji finishes off the job Higashi started, your bullet meets its mark

right in the head of the second man.

Silence falls over the bar. The jukebox that usually croons out soft oldies has taken a couple hits, rendering it useless.

“Pay your tabs and get the fuck out,” barks Higashi. “If you can’t pay, then get rid of those fuckers and help me clean up.”

The bartender waves you both off when you start making Toji help. “Got enough free labor already, Fushiguro.”

Suits him just fine.

You follow Toji out of the bar, unfazed by the gunfight except for the adrenaline still sparking in your eyes. He says nothing when you grab the spare helmet at climb onto his bike. The routine is familiar, comfortable, worn into his muscles over the years by repeated exposure.

Your place is just up the street. You wouldn’t be getting onto his bike if you weren’t following him home.

The kids are asleep when he checks on them. Inugami, his much maligned babysitter, simply chuckles at the state of you two. “Rough night?” she asks, still cheery despite the late hour.

“Something like that,” you say with a shrug.

Inugami pats one wrinkled hand on your cheek and points threateningly at Toji. “Both of you get some sleep.”

Toji’s cramped house doesn’t have a guest room. Finding a place within his budget that had three bedrooms was hard enough. After so many years of working together and being friends, neither of you bother with the “I’ll sleep on the couch” song and dance.

His bed is big enough for both of you and if you wanted to sleep on your own, you would’ve gone back to your place.

It’s so domestic getting ready for bed with you. The second toothbrush in his bathroom is yours, as is the army of products you keep in the cabinet. You take one of his threadbare t-shirts and slip it on before climbing into your side of the bed.

Toji refuses to think about how comfortable this is.

Your soft breathing next to him pulls him towards unconsciousness, gentle as the tide and just as capable of drowning him.

“What were you gonna do if I won?” you mumble in the dark. 

“Make you take Megumi to the zoo with me for his birthday.”

Your eyes are still closed, but you smile. “Liar.”

“Fuck no. You think I want to take a pack of 10 year olds to the zoo on my own?” He’s no more awake than you are and most of his words are slurred into his pillow.

You flick Toji on the forehead. “I was gonna do that anyway, idiot.”

True. Megumi would’ve thrown an unholy fit if his favorite person wasn’t there for his birthday. Kid likes you more than he likes his own father, but Toji doesn’t blame him.

He thinks you’re probably asleep now, the lines of your face softening as your breathing deepens. It’s safe enough to say it.

“I was gonna make you kiss me. Just to see.”

You aren’t asleep. You’re awake and shuffling into his arms and pressing your lips lightly against his. It’s chaste and so much softer than he imagined. There’s a gentleness in the way you kiss the scar marring one half of his mouth.

You kiss him like he’s loved for more than what his cursed body can accomplish.

Like he’s not something harsh and violent, made of cutting edges and the blood of others. Like you see the father he tries to be and the son he once was.

Your fingers cradle his face with care.

Toji stops hiding behind the hollows in his heart carved from others’ hands. He stops the ever-present fear of losing his partner, his best friend–

The love of his life. The other parent of his kids.

Jesus, how has he been so fucking stupid?

He kisses you again, murmuring words you already know, and lets himself drown in the feeling of being loved by you.

tagging: @moonchild-artemisdaughter @73sorcerer @bunnaccino @abberant-butler @sarchopathic​ @satorhime @xo2dee @muertasanta @actuallys8n @tricewithaz @lahvel <3

~get added to the taglist~

[mjolnir-steve]

Foolish

Frank Adler x fem!Reader

Word count: 5027 (oop)

Warnings: light drinking, very brief mention of suicide, some cursing, smut (18+ ONLY!!!), unprotected sex (m/f) ... Please let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Hi, y’all! Here’s my entry for @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817’s Shameless Hoes for Chris Challenge!!!! I haven’t written smut in a LONG time, so please be gentle with me LOL. Here’s what I got:

Frank Adler

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

Breeding / mutual pining 🥴

I’d like to dedicate this to @rodrikstark for always sharing the Frank Adler feels and @sparkledfirecracker for bullying me (with love) into finishing this. ❤️

If you like this fic, please comment and reblog!!! I hope you enjoy. :)

Fridays never seemed to come soon enough. You looked forward to the beginning of the weekend as much as the next person, but over the last few months, Friday nights took on new meaning for you. You moved to the trailer park a little less than a year ago, wanting to buy a small place of your own and start making a home for yourself. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t expensive, and it was only a ten-minute drive from your office where you’d just secured a promotion. Roberta, the manager, helped you make it feel like home right away, insisting on going with you to pick out paint samples and providing copies of menus for the best take-out in the area.

Before long, Roberta introduced you to the trailer park’s resident certified genius, Mary Adler. Mary and Roberta spent Saturday mornings with you when you were free, which unfortunately, was pretty much all the time. You played games, sang karaoke, and even let Mary’s one-eyed cat Fred come over. He took a liking to your swinging chair in the living room, and if Mary couldn’t find him at home, odds were he somehow squeezed through your window and ended up in that chair. 

Another two months had passed, though, before you met Mary’s uncle and guardian, Frank. You came to learn that Mary stayed with Roberta every Friday night because “Frank needs time to be an adult” and she was not allowed to come back to the house until noon on Saturdays. This information made you feel like Frank must be some kind of sad, perpetual fuckboy. You were right about the sad part, not so much about the latter. One morning while Mary played with your watercolors, Roberta let slip - ironically over a cup of tea - that Frank did have the occasional hookup, but usually, he drank himself sleepy on Friday nights and just needed the time to himself. He worked himself to the bone as a boat mechanic, often late into the night because it was too hot to do some jobs during the day. Frank took Mary in when she was just a baby after his sister, her mother, tragically committed suicide. He spent the majority of his scarce free time with Mary, so when Mary was still a toddler, Roberta offered the Friday night deal. Frank countered that he would do any repairs in the trailer park for free, but she refused to let him do that work without pay, saying he deserved to have a life, too. 

She also informed you that Frank was a former philosophy professor, single, and very attractive, especially if you were into the rugged thing. You rolled your eyes with an amused exhale and took another sip of your tea. You’d be lying if you said your interest wasn’t piqued. Mary then shouted over her shoulder, confirming that she’d been listening to your entire conversation, “Frank is great, but he’s a grump. Good luck cracking that egg.” You snorted, nearly spitting out your tea, and she went back to reading your color theory book to Fred.

With that, you heard a sharp rap at the door. You set your tea down on the kitchen table, curious who your visitor might be. You didn’t know anyone else in the trailer park, or in town, really. You opened the door, taking in the sight of possibly - no, definitely - the most handsome man you’d ever seen. You quickly guessed it was Frank, judging by the grease smeared on his quite large hands. His eyes, though tired, had the same bright look as Mary’s, and he had the most perfectly imperfect fluffy hair and overgrown stubble.

“Good morning,” he said with a sweet, closed-mouthed smile. “Is Mary here?”

You had to remind yourself to breathe. Stammering, you opened the door wider, gesturing inside. “Hi, y-yes. She is!” Why am I like this? “She’s just painting with Fred. Please, come in.” You moved aside so he could fit his broad shoulders through the doorframe and then held out your hand. “You must be Frank. I’m Y/N. Mary is just wonderful.” You smiled at him, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

He took your hand in both of his, gentler than you’d expected. “I’m sorry. Yes, I’m Frank. It’s great to meet you, finally.” He smiled wide for the first time and you were certain you’d pass out. Who LOOKS like this? “And thank you, she really is wonderful. I couldn’t do it without Roberta. She’s family.” He smiled and waved at Roberta, who was looking at you over the lip of her mug.

Mary didn’t even bother to turn around and face Frank. “What are you doing here, Frank? It’s only 11. I have a whole ‘nother hour with my friends.” You tried to keep your laugh quiet, covering your mouth with your hand and shaking your head.

“Well, excuse me for thinking you might like to go out on the boat with me this morning. I guess I’ll go by myself.”

Mary jumped up from the floor, scrambling to clean up your paints and books. “Can Y/N and Roberta come?”

Frank crouched down to meet Mary’s eyes. “Of course they can, if they’d like.” He looked back at you over his shoulder, trying to gauge your interest, then turning back to his niece. “But do you remember what I told you?”

You could see that Mary was making a conscious effort not to roll her eyes. “You told me that my adult friends have adult lives that include adult responsibilities, and they might not always be available to spend time with me.”

“And?” he looked at her expectantly.

“And I need to invite them to do things without assuming they will do them.” She couldn’t hold back her eye roll any longer, but she made sure not to let Frank see. “Roberta, Y/N, would you both like to join us on the boat today?”

You were amazed by the exchange taking place in front of you, able to see where some of Mary’s brains and tenacity came from. The conversation between the two flowed so easily, playful yet intelligent. It was clear that Frank treated Mary not as a child, but as a person, and you chided yourself internally for thinking that was kinda hot. 

Shaking yourself out of your mildly inappropriate thoughts, you responded. “I’d love to come, Mary.” You smiled at her, bending over to help her pick up the last of the paints from the floor. “Roberta?”

Roberta gave you a look and you just knew she planned this somehow. “I actually do have some of those adult responsibilities to handle today, but thank you for inviting me.” You sent a glare in her direction, quick but no less scathing. “Maybe next time.” She winked at you before washing out her mug and saying her goodbyes.

You spent the whole rest of the day and night with Frank and Mary, doing everything from building sandcastles to cooking dinner together. Mary eventually fell asleep in your lap as you were watching Oliver & Company, Frank’s favorite Disney film that had become Mary’s, too. “An underrated classic,” they told you in unison.

You helped Frank put Mary to bed, a task made easier after such a tiring day. “I guess I should get going.” You stood awkwardly in the small kitchen, unsure of yourself and painfully aware of how close your hand was to Frank’s resting on the counter.

“Yeah, I have a job early in the morning.” He looked down at his shoes, unable to look you in the eye, and you wondered if he hadn’t found your company as enjoyable as you’d found his.

“Listen, I don’t know if you’ve been to Ferg’s? The little bar down the road? I go every Friday night just to relax and have a few beers. Maybe you’d like to come with me next weekend?”

Is he asking me on a date? You could feel your heartbeat racing. The look on your face must not have matched the excitement you felt at the prospect of spending time alone with the dreamy, kind, sarcastic man in front of you. 

He felt like an idiot when you hesitated to answer. He clearly read everything wrong. He had to fix this. “It’s a good place to meet people, you know? I know you’re fairly new to the area, so if you’re looking for more local friends, it’s a good place to start.” He winced, hoping you couldn’t sense his embarrassment at thinking that you would want to go on a date with him.

You swallowed, trying not to let your disappointment show outwardly. Of course he’s not interested in me. Stupid. “Oh, yeah! That would be great, Frank. What time?”

Frank let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, relieved that you didn’t seem offended by his offer. “How’s 7? I’ll pick you up? We can walk over together.”

And that’s how Fridays came to mean so much to you. Almost every Friday for the last six months, Frank met you at your door and you walked to Ferg’s together. Frank told you it would be a good place to make new friends, but you paid no mind to the other patrons. You only had eyes for each other, yet neither of you could see it, even though Roberta pointed out (repeatedly) that neither of you had taken anyone else home in all that time.

The more time you spent with Frank, the more certain you were that God was real and your life was His favorite trainwreck reality TV series. Even if you could have customized a dream man Build-A-Bear style, Frank still would blow your creation out of the water. He was smart and funny, not to mention an adoring parent to Mary, to whom you grew more attached each day. He was kind and thoughtful, talented and hard-working. Although he was a grouch, as Mary would say, he always was sweet to you. He took a genuine interest in anything you had to say, whether you were venting about work or filling him on the latest episode of whatever show you were binging. He was ridiculously sexy without even trying. All those hours he spent doing manual labor in the sun did wonders for his physique. You’d only seen him completely shirtless on one occasion, and the image of him with sweat dripping down his chest was burned into your memory, fueling your late-night thots and causing you to break out your vibrator on what was now a regular basis.

Six months had come and gone in the blink of an eye, and you’d begun to accept that Frank didn’t want to be anything more than friends with you. You decided tonight was as good a night as any to talk to someone new, to start letting go of your unrequited feelings. 

You swapped out your usual jeans for a sundress, t-shirt bra for a push-up, and lip balm for lipstick. Putting your phone and some cash in a wristlet, you considered wearing your new strappy sandals. The walk to Ferg’s was about five minutes each way down a sandy road, though, and memories of the sticky floor inside aided your preferred pair of Converse in their victory for the night. 

Just as you finished tying your shoes, you heard a knock at the door. You adjusted your cleavage and fluffed your hair a final time with one last look in the mirror. Here goes.

Frank felt like he had the wind knocked out of him in the best possible way. He suddenly felt entirely underdressed in his aloha shirt, even though it was his go-to for nights out of the house. He’d never seen you dressed so nicely when you weren’t going to work. 

You were the kind of beautiful that didn’t require makeup. Your natural hair always framed your face perfectly, even if you didn’t think so. He thought you were adorable when you were concentrating on something, blowing your hair out of your face with a huff. Visions of your soft curves made their way into Frank’s dreams on more than one occasion. He had seen you in your swimsuit several times, sunbathing with Roberta and swimming with Mary at the beach. It wasn’t even all that revealing, but it accentuated your figure in ways that forced Frank into needing a cold shower or two. Above all, though, he admired your heart. You’d allowed Mary into your life without hesitation, spending time with her because you wanted to and allowing her to ask all those questions that Frank just wouldn’t be able to answer. It killed him that you didn’t see him the way he saw you, a perfect partner for him and a worthy maternal figure for Mary.

“Frank? You okay?” Your concerned voice shook him out of his thoughts, prompting him to close his mouth which apparently had opened wide in astonishment when you stood in the doorway.

“Yeah, um... You look…” He looked a little confused, his brow furrowed and lips pursed. “Why are you all dolled up? It’s only Ferg’s.” He wished he could’ve kicked himself in the teeth when your face fell at his question. He rubbed a hand over his face. “Shit. Let me try that again,” he nearly begged, running up to you to stop you from going back inside. “You look really nice, honey.” He ran his calloused hand up your forearm, but quickly returned it to his side when he realized what he’d done. “Is it a special occasion, though? Should I change?”

You gave him a watery smile, given that you were three seconds from slamming the door in his face and crying. “That’s better. Thank you.” You lightly pushed at his shoulder, trying and failing to ignore the electricity you felt at the contact. “No occasion, though. Just thought maybe it was about time I actually introduced myself to someone new.” 

You couldn’t quite read his reaction. Little did you know he was certain he just felt his heart physically crack in his chest. “What do you mean?”

The two of you started walking, the tension between you thickening the very air you breathed. “Well, when you first invited me to Ferg’s, you said maybe I’d get to know some other people in the area, right? But we’re always with each other. I’m sure you’re itching to talk to someone other than me. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“Ah. Gotcha.” Frank abruptly reverted to the quiet, distant state he usually occupied before he met you. He sped up a bit, walking ahead of you and desperately attempting to school his features before you caught up with him.

Frank practically ran to the restroom, not slowing down even to hold the door open for you. You took a deep breath and rolled your shoulders, relaxing before entering the bar. Normally, whoever made it first would order drinks for you both, but Frank made it painfully clear that he had no desire to be in your company tonight. You ordered your usual, an Angry Orchard with a shot of Fireball in a tall glass. The combination tasted like apple cider, but the burn in your throat was caused by liquor rather than heat. It was strong enough to get you buzzed, but not so strong that you’d be stumbling home. You swallowed half the glass in one gulp, wanting to feel the warmth in your veins boosting your confidence as quickly as possible.

“Y/N? How are you?” You turned around, eyes meeting those of Jamie, your coworker. He leaned in for a hug and you accepted somewhat reluctantly, having interacted with him only in passing.

“Hey! I’m all right. What’s up?” You smiled at him, taking another sip of your drink. Jamie was not very subtly staring at your chest. You weren’t crazy about him, but the attention felt nice, so you allowed it.

“Not much. Just happy it’s Friday, ya know?” He looked around for a moment before returning his attention to you. “You’re usually here with that mechanic dude, right?”

You stifled a laugh thinking about how Frank would react if he heard himself referred to as “dude” by this prick. “Yeah, he’s around somewhere. We’re just-“

“-Just friends?” he finished for you with a hopeful look.

You nodded in response, looking him up and down. He was no Frank, but you couldn’t deny he was handsome. It had been so long since you’d even been kissed, and though you hated to admit it, you were touch-starved. One night couldn’t hurt, could it?

Meanwhile, Frank was splashing his face with cool water. He couldn’t believe he’d fucked up so royally. He was sure you didn’t want him how he wanted you, and now he was sure it was too late to tell you how he really felt.

He knew from the moment he saw you that he’d never get you out of his head. Roberta had been talking you up to Frank for weeks, but he wanted no part of it, mumbling something about there being “a reason why no one used matchmakers anymore.” He had no choice but to make your acquaintance when he was looking for Mary, and he’d never been so happy that Roberta could say she told him so.

Later that day at the beach, Mary approached him while you were dozing on a towel in the sand. She sat on his lap and reached for his face, using her pointer fingers to turn the straight line of his mouth up into a smile. “Roberta says you have a ‘charming’ smile, Frank. We think you should use it more.” He chuckled quietly, careful not to disturb you, and pulled Mary in close, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. She grimaced at the feeling, dramatically wiping at her face until he let her go back to reading with Fred.

The sound of the jukebox starting up cut short his reverie. He had to get out there and explain himself. Frank dried his face and hands with a paper towel before smacking his cheeks and stretching his neck back and forth to each shoulder. 

Frank exited the restroom only to find some douchebag staring at your ass as you leaned over toward the bar. He saw red when the piece of shit held out his hand behind his back while his friend slipped a twenty-dollar bill into it, seemingly winning some sort of bet.

Jamie didn’t stand a chance when Frank stormed in between the two of you. “That’s IT,” he yelled, so intense he borderline bellowed. He threw whatever cash he had in his pocket on the bar to pay for your drinks before he pulled you outside, almost getting to your door while you fought against his grip. He only stopped when you spun your body around like something out of Dancing with the Stars and jumped in front of him, forcing him to catch you.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, what are y-”

“-What are YOU doing, Frank? What the fuck was that?” You put your feet back down on the ground but remained facing him, arms crossed over your chest.

He groaned in frustration, suddenly realizing he actually had no clue how to respond. “Fuck.”

You looked at him, tapping your foot in anticipation.

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.” He rubbed at his temples in the way he did when he felt a headache coming on.

“And how was he looking at me, Frank? What does it matter to you?”

“He was looking at you like you were a piece of meat and I… FUCK!”

You both turned when your neighbor opened his window. “Can you kids keep it down out here?”

You waved bashfully at the old man. “Sorry, Mr. Parker,” you said in unison.

“Come inside, Frankie.” The nickname that typically made him roll his eyes at you never had sounded sweeter, now that its use confirmed you didn’t hate him for the scene he made. You both toed off your shoes at the door before you made your way into the living room, motioning for him to sit next to you on the couch when he tried to sit in the armchair across the room.

You leaned forward, pinching his chin between your thumb and forefinger. “Now what’s going on in that sun-damaged brain of yours?”

He let out a laugh so soft you almost missed it, but you were glad you didn’t. Sitting back against the arm of the couch, you pulled a pillow into your lap and hugged it, giving Frank your full attention.

Frank cleared his throat, doing his best to accept that it was now or never. “That guy was leering at you, and it pissed me off. You deserve better, Y/N.” He pried your fingers from where they were locked around the pillow to hold your hands in his.

“If you want to meet new people, that’s great. If you don’t want to be with me, that’s a little less great, but I’d understand. He didn’t even pay for your drinks. And I th-”

You covered his mouth with one of your hands, and he knitted his brows in confusion. “You’re making it sound like it’s an option to be with you.” You were in disbelief, side-eyeing him, waiting for Ashton Kutcher to announce that you were, in fact, being Punk’d. 

The corners of his mouth lifted into the soft smile he reserved for you. It was the same one he gave you whether you were on a tangent about how “Obsessed” by Mariah Carey is “the single greatest diss track of all time” or you were helping Mary put a harness and leash on Fred “just to see how he’d do” on a walk.

“For a distinguished professor, you’re kind of a dummy, Frank.” You took his face in your hands, thrilled to be feeling his stubble against your palms. Before he could talk back to you, you kissed him, unsure how you denied yourselves such a simple yet extraordinary pleasure for so long. It only took a moment for him to relax into it, his hands removing the pillow between you before finding your waist and pulling you almost into his lap.

You deepened the kiss, threading your fingers through his hair. He pulled away first, pressing his forehead to yours. “Seems like we’re both dummies, huh?” 

You were going to ask why pulled away until you looked down to see a considerable tent forming in the front of his jeans. You laughed as he pulled you into a tight hug, one arm wrapped around you while the other hand held your face against his neck.

You kissed the side of his neck softly before leaning back to look at him. “All this time? I thought you didn’t see me this way.” You held his face, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. “You asked me to go to Ferg’s and then said I could meet other people, so I thought that was it, you know?”

He covered your hands with his and pecked your lips softly. “Honey, I thought it was the other way around. I was trying to ask you out and you looked like you’d seen a ghost.” You giggled, spluttering a bit because tears had started falling at some point. He wiped your tears away before swiping his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down a bit. “We’re fools, aren’t we?”

You nodded slowly and Frank saw something wicked flash in your eyes before you took his thumb in your mouth, sucking lightly. “Jesus, honey.” His length hardened underneath you and you could feel the wetness beginning to pool in your panties, prompting you to grind down into his lap.

You released his thumb from your mouth, pressing your chest into his before kissing him again. “I think we’re only fools if we don’t take advantage of the rest of your adult time.” You removed your dress easily, returning your hands to Frank’s shoulders to push off his shirt.

He surged forward to kiss you again, working magic with his tongue against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he picked you up, walking you into the bedroom. Placing you on the bed carefully, he removed your bra and panties before pulling off his boxers and jeans in one go. You thought you wanted him before, but now that you could see everything he’d been hiding under his baggy clothes, you didn’t see how you could ever let him leave your bedroom.

The next few minutes were spent exploring each other’s mouths while Frank stretched you with his fingers. You didn’t think you’d ever been so wet in your life and thought you might pass out if you didn’t feel him inside you immediately. You gave his cock a few strokes before sliding his head through your folds, coating him in your slick.

“Waitwaitwait, honey. Do you have a condom?”

“You don’t need one if you don’t want one. It’s okay.”

He looked like you just gave him tomorrow’s winning lotto numbers, taking a deep breath to steady himself before he looked at you again. “Oh, God. Are you sure?”

“Mhm. I wanna feel you. Make me yours?”

“Anything you want, honey, but if you change your mind, just tell me, okay?” He lined himself up, seconds shy of entering you for the first time.

“I figured if you were gonna be possessive of me tonight, you might as well take it the whole nine, Frankie.” You laughed as he let out an exasperated sigh. “Seriously, though, I’m clean, I’m on the pill, and I’ve wanted you for a long time.” You reached up to scratch lightly through his chest hair.

“The only thing I wanna hear right now is you moaning for me.” He drove into you harshly, but waited a moment for you to adjust once he was seated to the hilt. “So damn wet and tight for me, honey. You’re so perfect, so beautiful.” He kissed you again before he began to move, slowly but surely making you lose your mind.

He dipped his head down to take one nipple in his mouth, then the other, effectively shutting you up and emptying all thoughts from your head. He nipped at the swell of your breast, soothing the bite with his tongue. “Fuck, Frank, please!”

“Please what, honey?” He picked up his pace, fucking into you so vigorously you moved up the bed. “Tell me what you need.”

“Make me cum, Frank. Please, baby, I need it. Need you,” you cried, leaning up to bite into his shoulder, stifling your moans.

“I wanna hear you, Y/N. I wanna hear those pretty moans while I’m making this perfect pussy cum for me.” The combination of his filthy words and the sight of him sucking on his own fingers before rubbing at your clit sent you over the edge, making you scream his name over and over again for what felt like forever and not long enough.

You could tell he was close, his hips stuttering and losing their rhythm. He began to pull out, unsure if you were willing to let him finish inside you, but knowing he was too close to wait for an answer.

You hooked your legs around his waist and pulled him close, pushing him back into you. “Fill me up, Frank. I wanna feel all of you. Please give it to me,” you whimpered. His release triggered another for you, chanting each other’s names surely loud enough for the neighbors to hear. 

He stayed inside you as you both came down from your shared high, gingerly flipping you over so he laid on his back with you on his chest. He kissed the top of your head, fingers fluttering up and down your sides. 

“What’s on your mind now, Frankie?” You looked up at him through your lashes, mildly terrified of the answer.

He looked down at you with the most adoration you’d ever seen, lifting your chin so your eyes met his in the moonlight. “That wasn’t too soon, was it? You mean so much to me and to Mary. I don’t wanna mess this up. I don’t ever wanna hurt you. You’re the best thing in my life besides Mary, you know that?”

You kissed his chest before looking back up at him, smiling. “First of all, I would argue that wasn’t soon enough.” He hissed as you clenched around his still softening cock inside you.

“You’re evil.”

Winking at him, you continued tracing patterns on his chest with your fingers. “Second, that all kinda sounds like you might be in love with me, Frank Adler.”

His hands stopped moving for a second before he responded. “Would you run away if I said I am?”

“Well, I wouldn’t run away. This is my house.” You thought your heart might explode in your chest.

“I didn’t even say it, but I take it back,” he huffed, throwing his arm over his eyes.

“What if I told you I felt the same way?”

He grinned, sitting up to kiss you feverishly on your cheeks, the tip of your nose, and finally your lips. You could feel him starting to harden again inside you, leading to round two of… well, you lost count.

You ate breakfast and showered together in time for Frank to return home before Mary did, agreeing to talk more later and to hold out on Roberta for a while.

Frank stood on your doorstep, leaning in to kiss you once more. All of a sudden, you heard a familiar meow and thanked God you were dressed and not in your robe.

“Frank, what are you doing here? I thought I’d come see Y/N since I’m not supposed to come home until noon.”

You bit your tongue to keep from cackling. Frank ran a hand over his face, his blissful bubble burst. He was getting you a hotel room next weekend.

[yjwhatif]

With the semi/cryptic confirmation of Ed and Barts relationship in the series I have a question:

Do you think everyone knows about them (in world) or do you think they’re keeping it secret from some?

It’s just a thought that’s been in my head recently. It is most likely fuelled by the whole drama of G&B not being able to depict a “specific character” (it’s definitely Bart) as gay. They’ve had to hide the relationship from their audience - because of ridiculous reasons - but there are still moments that bring up the question - Are they? Before the reveals from AskGreg, I kinda thought- well they are clearly not together yet, but perhaps they both have feelings for one another and are just waiting for the other to make the next move because they’re nervous idiots who don’t want to have read the situation wrong — all while their friends are like - seriously guys? just get together already. Kinda like they did in s1 with Wally and Artemis - and I guess early Supermartian as well - which I would have been okay with... though with the likelihood of there being at least another two year time skip you’d probably have missed the getting together moment - which would kinda suck. Anyway. With the information about the chances being they were supposed to clearly be in a relationship throughout S3 — which makes the whole structuring of ILLUSIONS just make sense — it’s got me viewing their moments with a whole new energy. Also, I saw this post by Greg —

And let me just clarify, I have no idea if this is actually referencing the Ed and Bart stuff, it might not be (probably isn't). This is purely me speculating.

My reading of this is they got told they couldn’t depict Bart as gay pretty late on and that specifically affected ILLUSIONS where they likely intended to confirm the relationship with that first shot - the kiss on the cheek moment. Even now that moment is just odd - because it’s there but it’s not - because technically there is no actual kiss… which I think is absolutely the point. It plants the seed without actually breaking any rules - all by keeping the momentum but removing the specific kiss frame. It’s the only moment that I feel is explicit in saying they are in a relationship - everything else you can just read into and imply there’s something - but they technically don’t confirm anything.

The whole thing is actually quite interesting - despite the reasoning for it being totally ridiculous. By keeping/showing what they did... People notice it. People talk about it. People reflect on it. More people talk about it. People writing. Make. Create. Discuss it. An entire audience is formed who want and support it. It’s a whole thing now because people noticed it and generated a positive response to it - and that was before all the AskGreg information. The whole reason YJ got a season 3 is because the fans fought to get it back. Enough people talked about it - and kept talking about it - to convince TPTB that the show should come back. Greg and Brandon know this. They know the power the fans have and maybe they hoped that power would help them again in freeing Bart from these ridiculous restrictions. #letbartoutofthecloset

Obviously, we can't know until S4 is released whether G&B got the permission to confirm Bart's sexuality the way they envisioned - but maybe the responses that came during the release of 3b were enough to convince TPTB that they were fighting a losing battle. But who knows, people in power can be very stubborn at times, so we will just have to see what we get. Fingers crossed they eased up though - and not just because of the Ed/Bart relationship (which I am obviously a fan of -- it's fine if not everyone is) - but because these restrictions on LGBTQ+ content shouldn't be a thing and need to stop -- there is just no validity in them.

Anyhow. despite their not being allowed to officially confirm the relationship, Greg's comment about Ed's having a boyfriend they can't name basically confirms the fact without technically breaking any rules again. Masterfully done Wiesman. With this, it implies the pair are in fact dating during S3 which brings us back to the original question... but who knows??

With the comments of Virgil during ILLUSIONS, it's easy to assume their friends do in fact know. They also seem to have no problem being close and interacting with one another whilst in the presence of others -- that is, except for one moment...

Ever since the first time I saw this episode (ELDER WISDOM) I have always found this moment strange - because Ed seems to get kinda awkward when Barry comes to check on Bart. (Or that's how I see it at least.) He realises Flash is standing there and immediately pulls his head down averting his gaze -- almost like he doesn't want to be seen by the elder. But why? Does Barry not know about the pair -- or maybe he doesn't know about Bart and Ed thinks their current closeness is too revealing -- who's to say Bart's even fully out to the world yet -- who's to say either of them are? We certainly don't since we weren't allowed to be shown. We can't know until we know - so until then we can play the speculation game while we wait.

Bart is certainly a bit of a secret keeper when it comes to being himself. I'm still convinced the Bart we see onscreen is merely his interpretation of what he thinks people expect from a speedster in this time. We saw 'real' Bart, he was snarky and cynical and nothing like the Bart we've had for the past two seasons. He said it himself - he's playing a character - and I don't think he knows how to break out of it - not while the possibility exists that it might hurt those he's grown to care about. Bart wants to be seen a certain way to avoid acknowledging the truth of the past - if people see him as happy and smiley, then no one will question him on things he doesn't want to talk about. The problem with that is you can't hide yourself forever - cracks begin to form and eventually, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. So who knows how comfortable Bart is revealing any of his true self to those he cares about. Maybe his relationship with Ed will be the thing that finally helps him find comfort in being himself, whilst also trusting others to still accept him as himself... and maybe getting him that bit of therapy he really needs.

This brings us to Eduardo… First, can I just say it made me so happy to see Greg’s confirmation of Ed being gay - though it is slightly annoying that he was robbed of his explicit onscreen reveal in S3 thanks to the drama with Bart. His whole relationship to his powers in S2 to S3 fits the representation of coming to terms with your sexuality/identity from a very negative point of view. Feeling like it’s something that needs fixing or needs to be “cured” - to then finding the light and freedom in accepting yourself for you. His growth between seasons is brilliant. He understands the hate and insecurity the teens are feeling because he felt it himself. He does all he can to help them because he never felt he got that help when he needed it - and no one deserves to feel worse for being who they are. Obviously, the things he talks about are framed in the context of dealing with/accepting the meta-gene - yet there are certain moments where it seems he’s saying more than that…

All of which got me wondering - why did Ed originally runaway? It certainly wasn’t because of the meta-abilities he did not yet have. All he’s ever said on the subject was he thought he wanted to be with his father - the man it seems he barely had a relationship with. No, I think Ed has been running from himself for a long time and his dad just happened to be an actual direction for him to aim for. The way he speaks about his wanting to be “cured” and “praying to get rid of his powers” suggests an upbringing around religion and traditional ideas of there being a ‘normal/proper’ way to be — while anything that doesn’t fit that way is treated as other or something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Maybe he ran to avoid being found out and run the risk of being ostracised by those he loved. Or maybe he was found out and leaving wasn’t entirely his choice*. If this was the case, I can certainly imagine him not wanting to come out to his dad for fear of his reaction and completely losing all chance of that father-son relationship they’re both trying so hard to keep. It can seem easier to live in secret than risk the reality of loss. So while the meta-gene likely wasn’t the main thing he was angry about in S2, it was able to become a physical thing he could blame and focus his anger on - without having to think about where his issues truly lied… Though with a bit of time it also became the thing he was comfortable conveying his feelings through...

“I’ve learned to accept, even love my meta-abilities”

I love this line so much and it’s all because of the delivery by Freddy Rodrigues. There is the slightest hint of a pause before he says “meta-abilities”, which gives the impression he was about to say something else before then remembering himself and who he was talking to. Then there’s the small inflecion he put on “love”, which makes it sound like it’s the first time he’s heard himself say the words out loud. I don’t hear him talking about the gene - I hear him talking about finally accepting himself - all of himself - for the first time in maybe ever and finally feeling happy because of it. I hear growth... From being the angry 14-year-old skater who just wanted to run away and escape any way he could. To the 16-year-old councillor/Outsider jumping straight into the danger to protect and inspire those who need it. Both he and Bart are such strong characters with so much more to be seen - especially when it comes to the insecurities which lie behind their masks. They both compliment each other pretty perfectly - both powers-wise and personality-wise - meaning while they try to hide themself from others, I don't think it'll take long for them to realise they can't hide from each other.

Anywho, that’s all the speculatary nonsense I’ve got for today. This turned into such a patchwork of vaguely linkable thoughts I’ve had which barely relate to the one I started with - but that is usually how it goes. Take it as you will…

Also, completely unrelated to YJ, but Bi Tim Drake now exists in dc canon which is really cool - seeing all of the joy it’s sparked has really given me something to smile about this week… There is hope after all. 🌈

— LB ⚡️☀️

* OK so here’s a little random snapshot into the chaos of my mind— as I was writing the Ed stuff I had a scene pop into my head of Ed finally -for whatever reason- having to tell his dad that he didn’t leave his abuelo’s home - he got kicked out. His dads confused about this and asks Why? What did you do? And Ed’s like Nothing… I didn’t do anything wrong… he just… found out something. So Seniors like Found out what Eduardo? And Ed’s getting really nervous now because he doesn’t want to say it - That I, um… I’m… Senior step a fraction closer as he picks up on Ed’s anxiety but remains an appropriate distance - Son? Then after a tensening silence he finally says it - sounding the most vulnerable he has ever been - I’m gay… The silence is there again, heavy and unnerving, neither saying a word. Ed can’t move as he’s lock in his elders unreadable glare. Expecting the worse his head drops to take in the floor - anything that isn’t the disappointment ahead - he feels the urge to disappear burning up inside him - consuming him. Then just as he’s about to escape he’s suddenly grounded by a steadying hand rooting itself on his shoulder. Tentatively he lifts his gaze to witness his father, there, with nothing but love and support in his eyes - Mijo. The clamping in his chest dissipates as all the tension escapes at once, along with the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Ed embraces his dad and the elder embraces his son. Together. A family.

Anyway. That’s probably a load of rubbish but hey my minds full of it… but basically I really want to see a tender moment between Ed and his dad. For whatever reason. Something where Ed’s in a vulnerable state and in need of some emotional support from his father - and without hesitation his father steps up - because that’s what we haven’t seen from them yet. It would perfectly portray the strength of their relationship as father and son - despite their previous struggles - and prove that Senior is willing to support his son no matter the situation as the father - not just the scientist. Its the final step in their healing journey and I wanna see it so bad!!