he didnt say no.
he said
i love you, you are my favorite person in the whole world, we are literally in hell being chased by something worst than a demon, i dont have time to think what my feelings for you mean, i will figure it out if we get out of hell.
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Following the chilling conclusion of All That's Left's first season, Mac and Layla and their friends find themselves scattered across a divided Los Angeles a year after their successful return to town. Matrix Corp has taken control— "With humanity's best interest in mind"— but with our protagonists' knowledge of Opportunity's destruction and Houston's unexpected fall, they know better than to trust the corporation and its near military-sized security force.
Closed district gates separate them from one another and a new threat lurks just outside the city's walls— but resistance is on the rise, and it is only a matter of time before truth comes out.
[SEASON ONE HERE]
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners
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so i completed my first ever fan binding, everything from start to finish - barring writing the fic myself - and i wanted to share the results!!
the fic is the certain things we lack by @deanpendragon on ao3 (it’s an incredible fic, if you haven’t read it already, you really really really should!!)
if anyone wants to bind their own copy using the typeset i made, i’ve put a fully formatted and print-ready pdf along with some instructions for how to go about fan binding (and links to people who can explain the process better than i can) on my google drive!
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i love you characters who know exactly who they are, monstrous parts and all. monstrous parts and nothing else. i love you characters who embrace it fully and wholly, who are happy and at peace with who they are and have no intention to ever change their ways or interest in becoming a better version of themselves. i love you characters who've painstakingly perfected being monsters, and so they'd know they're already the best version of themselves. characters who've weaponized their monstrous parts to get every single thing they want out of life, and who are unashamed and unapologetic and proud and bold about it.
i love you characters perfectly self-aware of their monstrous parts who gleefully look straight back at the rightfully deserved and earned scorn, judgment and condemnation thrown their ways with wide grins that's all teeth. characters who say "you're right, i am a monster. and you should try to stop me. but can you?" and it's a threat. i love you characters who won't stand for anyone telling them they don't get to have love and happiness because of their monstrous parts. characters who'll stop at nothing to take hold of love and happiness of their own in spite of the world telling them they don't get to have those things, and who don't care to become even more irredeemable than they already are along the way. i love you monstrous characters who hold tightly onto the broken and bleeding forms of the love and happiness they took for themselves with no intention to ever let go of them even if it means they shatter in their hands. characters who'd rather they shatter in their hands before ever letting go of them, and who made sure to first break them and make them bleed so they could fit within their hands to begin with. i love you characters who don't think it makes it any less meaningful or worthy, and who would do it all over again and even worse if need be because how else can a monster even love anyway but with sharp teeth and claws and your blood and tears warm on their lips and tongue?
i love you characters whose monstrous parts are their oldest and most loyal and trustworthy companions. characters who find comfort in their monstrous parts and are ruthlessly and mercilessly protective of them. i love you characters who can't even fathom who they could possibly be other than monsters, and yet have this gaping, bottomless pit of loneliness and yearning for something they couldn't possibly know the name of. i love you characters who've been monsters for as long as they've had that gaping and bottomless pit inside them as far as they can remember.
i love you monstrous characters who've never imagined they could ever be loved back for the monsters they are, but then they are. monstrous characters who've never imagined the broken and bleeding forms of the love and happiness within their hands could choose and want to stay right there anyway, but then they do. i love you characters who suddenly have to confront and grapple with the idea that maybe they can be something else other than monsters once they're loved. i love you monstrous characters who're loved anyway, monstrous parts and all. monstrous parts and nothing else. i love you monstrous characters loved for being monsters first and foremost, monstrous characters loved because they're monsters, and not in spite of it.
i love you characters who know no amount of love given to them will ever change the fact they're monsters. i love you characters being loved anyway with a love that doesn't ask or want or expect them to become any less monstrous for it, but they want to try to change for it anyway. i love you monstrous characters who are loved and whose nature won't change for it, but maybe their ways can. i love you characters who try to make their monstrous parts a little less sharp and jagged and deadly, a little less often bloody and a little more merciful and kind out of being loved as they are anyway. i love you monstrous characters learning to let go of the broken and bleeding forms of the love and happiness within their hands, and having their whole world turned upside down when they choose to stay anyway. i love you monstrous characters being made completely undone not by the forgiveness for the broken and bleeding parts, but by the acceptance of them.
i love you characters who are monsters and loved anyway and who don't become any less of monsters for it, but so what of it? after all when is a monster not a monster? when there's no changing of their nature, and yet they try to not give in to it anyway just because they were born with sharp teeth and claws and a craving for blood that'd make it so easy to.
i love you monstrous characters who are loved and don't become any less of monsters for it, but who still keep being loved anyway.
i love you monstrous characters resolving to try to become more human even knowing they'll never really succeed at it because they still keep being loved anyway.
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there's something really tragic about how the whole dreamer trilogy kicks off because Declan wants to look for his birth mother
the catalyst for the whole series is that, in the holding pattern that is their life, Declan breaks first
and it's because he still doesn't feel like he belongs or is wanted in his own family, even in peace times, even when he and Ronan have laid down their weapons and made some effort to patch things up
for once, he wants something for himself, and he takes the initiative to get it, and it all snowballs and backfires so horribly that when he gets to the end of the line and Matthew is dead and Ronan is dying and the world is ending and his mother doesn't even want him, he can only look back and say that it's all his own fault
and there's no one left to tell him he's wrong
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I gotta get back into my new Age of Calamity file (been knitting and playing our second Tears file all the time), 'cause I am still soooo far away from unlocking Kohga and I need to get himmmm again. I mean I could just go in my old file and have him kill some vicious lynels to get my fix or something but. No I want to rebuild My Best Guy and see if I can possibly make him even more Best.
But. I mean.
That would be pretty hard.
(I accept the challenge but I gotta be patient and get through the 'let's destroy the Yiga Clan woohoo!' parts first astfglaslkfjsldfkj. I mean not that I hate those missions, I love fighting Sooga and Kohga as I have said before, and I adore the cutscenes involving them. But I wanna play as them even more, they're just so fun. Also I got sosososo lucky with Kohga's weapon drops last time so hopefully I will again this time too so I can make him an even better Demon Carver. If that's even. Possible. I will do my best! Glory to Master Kohga etcetc!)
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