#((firstly as haunting as i remember it being but also i was jumping up and down bc oh my goddd that could have been rei))

[primordyalsoul]

i absolutely adore talking about/thinking about Rei learning how to love, and through her relationships with others finding fulfillment and joy in life and the world around her, even if it is all temporary for her.

But GOD. thinking about her learning to hate.

[zeondraws]

Fellas, year is almost overrrr and it feels kinda surreal what I went through to reach this point.

I may feel nauseous rn but...! Today was a good day, my friends family and other relatives of her came today. I showed them my budgie too, he may be getting blind but people were able to hold him on their hands.

I haven't felt such joy in a while, I don't know how to put it. I remember the first years when I stayed at my friend's place around Christmas or so. It was fun but I was still dealing with other stuff that stressed me out. Especially last december was extremely stressful for me.. I mentioned it in another post? I think?

I unpacked some presents I got today. There was one special present in it, where I still can't believe of owning it.

!!! SWTD themed Christmas Jumper! Like?? Wow!! Still bewildered that one got sent to me, I mean this game is so much fun and I'm so darn obsessed analysing every detail of it whenever I can.

I literally played through it again on my PlayStation, I usually don't play such games multiple times but this one? It just hit me the moment I saw a Let's play of it. The first one I saw was from IGP, I really enjoyed him playing it, even tho Rennick JUMPSCARED me the first time I saw that scene.

First few times playing this game I got nightmares from Gibbo or my heart was racing while I ran away from Rennick. I don't know why, Gibbo's sentences haunted me so much. The pain in his voice was unbearable. (Same with O'Conner)

Trots still gives me the creeps, like he just has that aura on him. However, jumping over Trots is also very funny. And Muir's level I can now play in my sleep. I think 1/3 of my hours shown on steam is just me messing with Muir. It's currently at 154 hours played.

And Roper... my beloved *shakes my fists* poor wee man. He did nothing wrooonggggg. Sobs loudly. Foaming at the mouth and hoping there is more lore of him in the artbook. The wait will soon be over. I'm so excited.

But... I just wanna say thank you again to the devs and publishers for this awesome game. It very much helped me be able to get through the day for months. Considering it came out when I was still in a bad work environment, constantly getting bullied. I kept rewatching Playthroughs to stay calm.

I think I related to Caz a lot too, even if everything was basically falling apart around him, he kept going. Ofc he sadly couldn't get a happy ending in the end. But I just try to remember to keep going. Even if I needed to endure my old job for a bit longer, until my new job started.

It bring me so much joy being able to learn more about the gaming industry and the programs used to make such games. And ofc datamining the game and looking at every little detail. May it be the smallest thing such as a file called "CazYeet" or finding an entire unused level that was scrapped. Or even Muir's hit by prop sounds! My eyes WIDENED when I heard them.

I sometimes check artstation on multiple occasions, just to see if something new popped up. And whenever it does, I do a little mental happy dance.

(Petition to make an april fools update where the hit by prop sounds are enabled/JOKE)

Maybe one day I can finally switch over to the entertainment industry, but I need to teach myself so much first. I still wanna go to art school so badlyyyyy. I can already see I won't feel ready enough until I'm 30 or so. Although I'm going to be 23 in 2 days- I still have to practice so many skillsets ajshajsjaksnaksnksks *explodes* but I shall avoid spiralling in my thoughts.

I think I appreciate games so much more now, I still want to try out a bunch of them. But I firstly have to work on some swtd related projects. I'm definitely planning on making a big analysis video next year, which sounds terrifying, I need to practice talking in recordings first. ;a; But I can't forget to visit events too, I need to try out so much stuff;;;;

Okay before I ramble on endlessly... Just, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

@thechineseroom-brighton @wearesecretmode

I hope it's okay if I tag, I know I talk like a river at times, but since I'm a very emotional human being I usually like sharing my thoughts.

I wish the the fandom and devs a Merry Christmas and a great start to the New Year. May everyone heal from past wounds and form new positive memories.

Have this drawing of my OC Kirsten holding bird Roper in his arms.

[raccoonfallsharder]

Hey there! This is hickey anon. Firstly I want to say I hope you're doing well, that I'm thoroughly enjoying Windows Across the Galaxy - and I was the one who sent the ask about Jolie and the Holiday Special. What you wrote was GREAT, so thank you. 😊 Secondly, I just wanted to ask you: how do you think Rocket would be with an anxious reader or S/O? Truthfully I've been struggling a LOT with anxiety, self-doubt and panic attacks as of late, and it hasn't been fun. This doesn't have to be anything big or specific (I don't want to make you write too much!), just like, your headcanon or your two cents.

hickey-nonnie! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ thank you for the ask that inspired that little bit of winterfluff. it was so much fun to write, and i am SO glad you enjoyed it. and - oof. i am also so sorry you having a rough time right now, little dove. i want only good things for you. i know (firsthand) that these thoughts & feelings can be so overwhelming and exhausting to live with. they take so much energy and can leave so little bandwidth to manage anything else as well as we wish we could.

i think rocket knows all that too - in great personal detail, as a matter of fact. by the time he knows you well enough to develop any kind of real relationship with you, you've almost certainly found him in a state of panic before. an intrusive memory or flashback, or the aftermath of a haunted dream. i imagine that maybe the first time, you'd gotten up to get a drink of water late at night - restless because you'd had this cranky new trashmouthed houseguest from outer space. you'd nearly jumped out of your skin when you'd seen the feral glow of crimson eyes, reflecting back at you like red coins in the darkness. rocket probably hadn't said anything - maybe hadn't been able to, you'd realized later - but it had only taken a dozen thudding heartbeats and ragged breaths to figure out who those eyes belonged to. you'd walked toward him slowly in the darkness, carefully. he'd probably been shivering, and trying not to show it.

i'm not sure what you would have done. maybe you would have gotten him some water, or made him some tea. brought out some extra blankets and sat with him, keeping your breath slow and even. i don't think rocket would have been able to acknowledge your presence when you were both still so new to each other - but he would have taken the tea.

and he would have remembered.

he would have carved it onto his goddamn heart, probably, because no-one has really been with him in the moment like that since counterearth. the guardians all mean well but let's face it, none of them are particularly good at offering comfort in cases like this. mantis is the most emotionally intelligent by far and she has all the nuance of a sledgehammer.

in any case, it opens a door, and rocket starts cracking jokes with you, teasing you, being obnoxious and real with you. and so, months later - when your own anxiety crests and swells and you are having a hard time remembering that you are good, that the world is hard, that you are doing the best you can with what you have in any given moment and that you deserve grace and compassion and kindness - in those moments, rocket reaches back into his memory and he pulls up every gift you've ever given him, and he pays it back as well as he can.

he's not the best at knowing how to provide comfort and support - though he is better at it than he thinks - but he knows he can try to do for you what you've done for him, because he's replayed it in his head a thousand times.

panic attacks have him sitting with you on the floor. you're not dying, sweetheart - it just feels like you are. he paces his breath so you can try to match it. when the shaking in your hands eases enough that he trusts you not to spill on yourself, he brings you a cup of tea - presses your hands around it so the warm glow of it licks against your palms and says, feel that, kid? focus on that. he has you breathe it in, makes you try to describe what it smells like.

he distracts you with your own senses, and it grounds you.

and of course he acts like it's not a big deal. don't get sappy, he tells you when you try to thank him later. an' i'll deny it if you say anything to quill.

he lets you talk when you want to, and lets you be quiet when you don't. he doesn't know what to say back - or maybe he does, but he won't try for fear of fucking up 'cause after all, he's got his own emotionalistic issues - but he listens when you say whatever's on your mind. when you tell him about your doubts, and your fears, and your self-recriminations. he probably hates that they exist - because he knows that you are kind, warm, friendly; he knows how you support the people around you, how caring you are to others. he knows you're smart - smarter than him, in some ways - and that you deserve everything good in the whole frickin' galaxy. and he hates that your doubts and anxieties haunt you like this.

but he just shares the space with you, and he tells you that it's okay that you don't believe in yourself right now, 'cause he believes in you enough for the both of you.

and he learns other tricks, too - things that have nothing to do with what you'd inadvertently taught him when you'd come to his side in the darkness so long ago. sometimes, when he can see your brain spiraling out like a frantic little galaxy, spinning itself faster and faster on its axis, he bullies you onto the nearest soft surface - so far that's included the sofa, an armchair, the bed, wherever; once, a soft pile of pillows he'd yanked onto the floor. and he just climbs himself right on top of you and sits or lays there: a perfectly warm triple-weighted blanket, anchoring you to whatever surface he's decided to put you on, forcing you into stillness and quiet for as long as he thinks you need. sometimes he pets your hair thoughtfully while the two of you sit or lay there - other times he purrs like a cat, luring you into drowsiness. you probably fall asleep at least half the time.

and it's not like he doesn't get anything out of it. after the first couple of times he'd done it, he starts to crave the closeness anyway, though he wouldn't tell you that. but he doesn't act like it's an inconvenience or a chore either.

it's just a thing he does to his help out his favorite terran.

it's just a thing he does because you take care of each other.

sweet hickey-nonnie ♡ please know i am rooting for you. i am wishing for healing and comfort for you, for quietness in your heart and mind, for stillness when you need it. for patience and kindness for yourself, and trust in yourself, and support from the people around you. ♡♡♡

[femme-enby]

Just reblogged a post & rambled like hell in the tags, vaguely mentioning my haunt AU… and then I remembered:

I visited my ppl last night, the folks who switched over to the winter holiday event… and good lord. While I might have to step away from being a haunt actor for a while, I will never abandon them folks.

Basically: all the drama that I mentioned that happened during MY haunt season?

From the brief bits I got to hear from my ppl… expectedly, it’s been worse.

Imagine: you work the haunt event. There’s drama. There’s serious issues. Management sucks. Too many monsters, not enough costumes. The guests are horrendous.

BUT!!! When you get pissed- you can

A) utilize it! Jump! Run! Scream! Let it out baby!!!

B) find one of the many dark and foggy corners, take a breather (or a hit off your vape… or 10.) and get back to it.

At the winter event? No such luck.

Firstly- while during the haunt event you’re nearly ALWAYS hot… during the winter event you’re either both hot and cold, or freezing. Nothing else.

Secondly- you cannot do shit w those negative feelings. There is no utilizing it. There are no dark and foggy corners. You don’t have earplugs.

You’re expected to be smiling, peppy, on 100 the whole time, in character, serving these snot filled guests (literal, the coughing and such is horrendous) and dealin w the drama & shortcomings of management all on your own, with a SMILE! Happy smile! Not murderous smile!

In the past we’ve had plenty of elves, at least the SINGLE season I participated… this season? Not nearly enough. Why? Hired as many monsters as they could for the haunt event, blew the budget. And tf did that get us? A ton of folks w no idea as to what is going on, how to be a haunt actor, management w little to no idea about anything haunt related or experience, and still not enough costumes. Sending up to seven folks to break from a single team at a time (in the past it’s usually been 2-3) so many being minors… and god the drama.

And I don’t even know the actual drama yet of the winter event, but it’s the fact that I was (happily!!! I was ecstatic to help! I love those poor lil employees with my whole heart!) given little quests by at least 2 of the ppl, one gave me 2 themself, bc they truly had no other option. I ended up assigning myself a quest bc I saw ANOTHER person absolutely FIGHTING for their life at one station, looked like a scene out of the walking dead, to the point where I couldn’t even check in with them. Literally tripping over themself trying to get everything done.

Like??? Look, some places that do seasonal events probably got this shit on LOCK. Know exactly what needs to be done, exactly what should be prioritized, handle shit fabulously, blah blah blah.

But god DAMN. No walkies, no management, not enough workers… only option is to call security but ONLY if something truly CANNOT be handled by the basic employees… and security is a damn joke anyway, which we all know FROM HAUNT.

“Dude, you bitch and moan soooo much, tf do you know?”

Valid! I don’t know shit about the numbers. I don’t know shit about what upper upper management is demanding or how you go about negotiating if you even can- which, you should be able to bc yeah yeah they got all the numbers but you HAVE to factor in the ACTUAL FUCKING HUMANS.

That being said?

Let’s start at seemingly the root of all evil, scheduling and planning.

These events, and everything that MUST come before the events, should be planned out to the best of whoever’s ability, THE YEAR BEFORE. When 2024 haunt season starts, they should be planning 2025. They need to be tracking costumes in total, costumes per area, min number of needed monsters for each area, and tracking costume malfunctions, how many ppl struggle to get costumes actually FOR the area that FIT, how many had to be pieces pulled from OTHER areas to make a fitting costume.

They also need to be thinking: most folks who do this year after year likely have some sort of main job… jobs typically want at LEAST a month’s notice for time off requests. Haunt is an evening/nightshift job, that starts at EARLIEST mid afternoonish, but we allow folks to have an availability as late as evening, so these folks likely have either a dayshift job that keeps them away in the mornings, or a nightshift job which means they’re ASLEEP in the mornings. We probably should keep events relating to this within the hours this job would take place.

Then, they HAVE to have ACTUAL auditions. Go in person, the whole circuit of working w a pre-set character & making up your own. Test vocal range, body language range, any fun/weird talents relating to either? This job can be stressful and potentially dangerous although we do everything to keep it safe, we are still scaring people & folks come w no idea/care for their natural reaction towards a perceived threat… do you feel you can adapt to that? They pass, cool next phase.

Ofc training will have to come after a decent amount of folks pass the auditions, that way you have time for auditions AND for those who get a call back to get time off work to attend training.

IMO? If haunt season starts in September, auditions need to start may/june. Folks need to be told starting in February/april, with actual dates to schedule their audition. Training should start in July/august, w the option to tentatively schedule that early, w the knowledge that if they don’t get formal offer that they will be removed from the scheduled training obvi.

Already you’ve significantly increased the chances of hiring quality actors over quantity, and the chances of having enough costumes in a range of sizes has increased.

Security has to go through event SPECIFIC training. They NEED to understand that while we need guests to have a good time, it cannot be at the expense of the actors, bc w/o quality actors the event will suck and ppl won’t be repeat customers.

Boom, you’ve saved money on hiring, and in the long run on costumes too, plus you’re READY for the season come end of august, instead of scrambling in early September. This money can now go to the winter event, where you DO need quantity over quality bc in the end it’s damn near identical to any other service job except you wear a goofy lil outfit, and THAT is what the training should be focused on. The employees are not lil magical creatures of happiness and love. They’re the best at putting on that customer service smile and voice and grittin their teeth till break time.

As for the winter event specifically- shorter time for specialty shows where employees and management are pulled from their posts, min. Of 2 employees per location, at least 1 walkie left during this time, w 2 managers set to roam each half of the establishment for quicker response times when called. Hell, leave $20 tracphones w a set amount of minutes, w the two (SET) roaming manger’s numbers put in. Sticky note w that nights manager written next to the phone, instructions to send “help @ ____” if walkies that can span an entire amusement park are too pricey (why tf a a walkie is like $100 idfk either)

Boom. Haunt is quality, both in skill & appearance. Winter event is staffed & safe.

“Bro, become a manager” if it was a fulltime, all year position, I would have. There’s a reason why there’s never any openings for the office positions. Them shits are easy, reliable paycheck, minimal risk to self. (In-fucking-sane that they get paid near double but okay. Not that they should make less, just that the poor bastards actually risking their mental & physical well-being should be paid more.)

As it is, that’s why I likely won’t be back as a creature for a hot min… the pay is meh, they don’t give ample time to flex my schedule to meet their needs, they don’t schedule prep shit at a time that makes sense (one weeks notice for a ‘required’ attendance? I LOOK jobless bc my main job pays like shit, not bc I am actually jobless) & that I could make work WITH my job on days I work, it’s roughly 2mo out of my year of bending over backwards for folks that clearly could not care less, and I need money to survive.

Basically: the place I work the seasonal gig at is, in fact, dog shit and worse every year. The best year was my first and it all went downhill. The employees are left to play supervisor w none of the power & no one backs them up when they “handle” shit like they were TOLD to do, so even when I can’t be a haunt actor, I will still be a guest, and I’ll be a god damn angel to them, a pigeon messenger, a doctor, a manager, security, idc. Whatever they need me to be, I will be, bc no one else is doing it.

[yeongwvnhi]

ᴸᵒᵛᵉ ᴬᵍᵃⁱⁿ

Pairing - Baekhyun x fem reader -> exes to lovers | Genre - Angst, fluff | warnings - none | taglist - @twancingyunhoe @trashlord-007 @tiddy-boys | synopsis - when Baekhyun and you broke things off a year ago, it felt alright, but you came to the painful realization that nobody could ever replace him or love you like he did | word count - 2.1k | thanks to @tiddy-boys for beta-reading ♡

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It's days like these, rain hitting the window in harsh taps and angry wind blowing, when the nostalgia hits the hardest. After all, you were always one to dwell on the past. It's just what you do. 

Every day felt the same after the two of you broke things off. You don't even remember why exactly you even ended it in the first place. The pain still sits deep, coming to haunt you when you least expect it. 

Rainy days like those just trigger the nostalgia, the memories and bygone feelings. 

It's 12pm when you check your phone, yet you're still laying in bed. The lack of motivation due to this sudden wave of sadness is something you're not experiencing for the first time. 

And it's killing you slowly. These feelings are eating you up from the inside out. 

Without even realizing, tears are running down your cheeks in even, salty streams. 

"Why am I even crying…" You mumble and lift your arm to cover your face, trying to make it stop. "God, I'm so pathetic" 

You try to manage to stop your tears, wrist harshly rubbing your eyes. After a minute or so, you succeed in stopping them. 

instead pick up your phone, unlocking it and opening Instagram. 

One peek won't hurt, right…? 

His name at the top of your searches seems to be mocking you as you hover your finger above it. Should you really do it? What if he found someone new and his profile is filled with couple pictures? Or what if he feels nothing and is glad to be alone? What if, what if, what if…

"Fuck it" you hiss and tap on his username, his profile popping up after a brief second of loading the page. 

He… hasn't posted anything for a few months, his last post being from October last year. 

Oh for fucks sake… is this a good sign or not? It could mean he's been seeing someone new, but it could also mean he's just been living his life like usual. 

So many possibilities, yet no resolution seems to be in sight. 

"This is so annoying, oh my gooood" You groan and smack your head into your pillow, laying sprawled out like a star with an annoyed pout on your face. 

"It's been a god damn year," You grumble, "why do I still feel like this?" 

The sound of your fist hitting the mattress of your bed is dull, not the way you wanted it to sound. "I hate this, UGHH" The frustration in your voice is for sure loud and clear, accentuated well by the 'ugh'. 

This whole situation is stressing you out. "I need a shower.." You mumble, absent-minded, as you fling the covers back and swing your legs over the edge of your bed. 

—

Despite the gloomy weather, you decided to take a walk outside. The rain still hasn't let up, droplets of it occasionally hitting your face. 

"Why is it so cold today? It's already spring…" You mumble quietly to yourself, eyes strictly trained on the path in front of your feet and head held low. 

You're so lost in your thoughts, you don't see the person headed your way. 

And apparently, the person doesn't seem to notice you as well. So your shoulders collide and you stumble, umbrella falling out of your hand and fast quick steps to regain your balance. 

"I'm so sorry! Are you al-" The man rushes to apologize, but his words get stuck in his throat as he takes in who he just, quite literally, stumbled into. 

Rain has hit you mercilessly, soaking you from head to toe within seconds as you stand there, paralyzed. "Baek…Baekhyun?" 

His eyes are wide and mouth slightly open in shock as he doesn't know what to say or do. 

He hasn't seen or talked to you in at least nine or ten months for sure. What is he even supposed to say? "Yeah… it's- it's surely been a while" he dumbly answers. "Ah! Your umbrella!" Baekhyun rushes to pick it up and hold it over your figure. 

But the damage is already done. 

You're shivering, dripping with water but still you've a tiny smile on your lips at the sight of him. 

You delicately take hold of the handle, fingers gently enclosing around the man's hand. 

He doesn't move to let go, just standing there and staring into your eyes. "I-" 

You cut him off by mistake with a sneeze, the cold creeping in deep. It feels like your bones might freeze, grasp around both Baekhyun's hand and the handle of your umbrella tightening, muscles contracting to desperately stay warm. "S-Sorry for interrupting you" You say, teeth clattering and eyes averting. 

"No no don't worry about it!" He insists, "but we should get you home, your hand is cold as ice, Y/N" 

"Ah… you're right" You nod and he flashes you a warm smile. 

"Do you still live in the same apartment or did you move?" Baekhyun asks, back to being concerned about your wellbeing now. 

"I- I still live in the same place" You reply, your free hand holding onto your jacket for warmth, but in vain. 

"That's too far away, my place is way closer" He objects and gently pulls you along, "come on, let's get you freshened up before you really get sick" 

You only manage an awkward nod and let him lead you along, a surprisingly pleasant silence engulfing you two. 

—

Baekhyun unlocks the door to his apartment and firstly puts both of your umbrellas away, taking off his wet shoes in the process and you follow along. 

"Come on, I'll show you the bathroom" He says and you tag after him. 

He opens the door, turns on the light and quickly pulls out two towels for you. "You can just use my shampoo, I don't have anything suitable here for you, sor-" 

"Thank you" you break his rambling. "You wouldn't need to do this, so thank you" 

Baekhyun smiles softly, although his eyes tell a different story. "I'll bring you some clothes in a bit, okay?" 

"Mhm" you nod and give him a curt bow before he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. 

You waste no time in stepping out of your soaked clothes and into the shower. 

You set the water to a nice warm temperature and rinse off the cold first, feeling relieved. 

Then there's a knock. "Hey Y/N, I'm putting some clothes on top of the washing machine for you now" he announces before opening the door, doing as he said and then leaving just as quickly as he came. 

"Still the considerate guy he always was…" You mumble with a sad smile, old memories coming back to haunt your mind with sweet images of the two of you. Him always knocking before he'd enter a room you would be in to announce himself. 

You loved that about him, he was always mindful of others and you're happy to see it hasn't changed at all. 

—

You finished quickly and put on the clothes he gave you. Some boxers and a way too big on you, black shirt. You dried your hair as best as you could with the towel he gave you and made sure you don't look like a lion by patting down your hair a bit. 

"Baekhyun?" You timidly call out after opening the door a bit. 

"Yeah?" He replies and you hear his footsteps approach. "What is it?" 

"Uhm- Where to put my wet clothes?" You ask. 

"Oh- Hold on, I'll put them in the washing machine" He says with big eyes and opens the machine for you to put them in. "I'll dry them after they're washed so you can change back, alright?" 

You nod quickly and thank him quietly. He opens the machine and you put your clothes inside, him doing the rest. 

"So, uh-" 

"Do you want some water?" He quickly asks, ears flaring red as he avoids your eyes. 

"Sure" you squeak back and follow him into the kitchen. He gets a glass out of a cupboard and fills it with water before handing it to you. 

You nip at the liquid as Baekhyun leans against the countertop adjacent to you, eyes taking in your figure. 

He missed seeing you in his clothes, you always looked so good in them. He just missed you in general. 

The reason why the two of you broke up a year ago? 

Baekhyun remembers it all too well. 

It was a work related thing actually. The two of you worked in different shifts and barely saw each other, yet alone had time for any couple stuff. 

Free days? Spent alone or arguing about never seeing each other. 

And at one point you had said to just break up. In that moment Baekhyun felt like he was hit by lightning, body stiff and eyes wide. He couldn't believe what he heard. Baekhyun felt anxiety cursing through his veins as his brain processed your words.

You had told him that you wouldn't hate him, but that your situation at that time just didn't allow any dating. The two of you never had hard feelings about the outcome, but it was hard to suddenly go back to being alone. 

And now you're here, in his apartment, wearing his clothes and smelling just like him. He can't believe this is happening. 

"Uhm, so" You speak up after setting the glass down on the other counter behind you. Your hands come up to grab the surface besides your waist and you avoid the man's eyes. 

"Yes?" Baekhyun can't help the hopeful hint in his voice as he urges you to continue your thoughts. 

"How has life been for you?" 

A chuckle escaped his lips at your question, shoulders jumping up and down in the process before he answered. "It's been rather boring but nice, if you get what I mean? I found a different job and work from home now" 

You nod quietly, "I've also found a new job and my shifts are less hectic" 

"Have you… found someone new?" 

You halt at his inquiry, gears in your mind temporarily stopping and he seems to take the lacking answer the wrong way. A frown pulls at his normally friendly and soft expression, making him look grumpy and bothered. "I see" 

"No, no! I- I haven't found anyone!" You quickly say, "I just… I couldn't move on" 

His expression changes to a sad smile, although he's kind of glad you're still somehow his. "Me neither" 

You scoff lightly, a cheeky smirk suddenly on your face. "No wonder, nobody could put up with your annoying ass anyway" 

"Hey!" He exclaims in shock. 

"I'm joking, I'm joking!" You insist, holding your stomach and laughing. "You're bearable most of the time" 

"That doesn't make it any better!" Baekhyun whines and you laugh out loud, hand flying up to cover your mouth. 

"Still the cocky little girl you've always been" He fires back and you snort. 

"Like you're one to talk" You roll your eyes at him and he exhales through his nose. 

His hands grab you by the collar of his shirt you're wearing and unexpectedly pull you into him. You squeal, hands shooting up to brace against his broad chest and you look up to be met by his cocky smile. "You never knew when to stop, no change at all there" he playfully nags. 

"Shut up" You weakly fight back. 

Baekhyun chuckles and you feel the rumble drumming against the palms of your hands. "How come you haven't moved on?" 

You lower your head, hands fumbling with his shirt. "Well… I came to the conclusion that just nobody could replace you. Nobody could love me like you did…" You mumble against his chest and Baekhyun feels a smile creeping up on his face. 

"I felt the same" He whispers back and his arms move to pull you into him more by your waist. 

After hearing that, you look back up at him with big eyes. "Really?" 

He nods and flashes you a bright smile. "Even though we fought a lot and barely had time for each other, I never stopped loving you" 

"Shut up" You almost whimper and move your hands to pull him closer by the back of his neck, lips meeting in the middle. 

Baekhyun's eyes almost fell out of their sockets before he came to his senses. 

One of his hands found its place on the back of your head as he moved his lips against yours with fervor. He greedily breathes you in, not wanting this to end as moves his mouth against yours. 

You shiver when his tongue meets yours and that's when you draw the line… for now. 

He chases after you for a second and you chuckle, dazed eyes meeting yours. "Slow down tiger" you say and peck the corner of his mouth. 

"Okay, okay" He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, "will you let me love you again?" 

"You bet" 

[fndmxreader]

fandom: harry potter. pairing:  remus lupin x reader | the reader simps for lupin because isn’t that all what we do daily ?  summary:   connected to the self indulgent series where the reader is a slytherin muggle born witch working alongside the teachers at hogwarts.   note: this series will bounce around a lot involving timelines, but a lot of them don’t really have a coherent story line anyway.  movie setting:  prisoner of askaban.  pov:   she/her pronouns.

you were looking off into the distance in a daze, end of pen in mouth as your writings came to a halt and instead getting caught up in thoughts.  your summer hadn’t been great,  if you were being completely honest :  your muggle friends were getting on your case regarding being missing for a year,  you knew at some point you had to pick : the wizarding world or the muggle one,   living two lives was absolutely exhausting,  living them meant being two types of people - like one example,  you had accidentally used a levitating spell to put a cup back and last minute your friend walked in, smashing on the floor as your hand flinched down to your side.

“ what was that crash ? “  “ i put the mug too close to the counter, “ you had laughed nervously, quickly walking towards the glass to pick it up “ it fell off as a result ”  “you’re clumsiness is going to be the death of you “    

that was only one of the close calls,  there were far too many to keep track of,  including dropping hints to the wizarding world in conversation, only to stutter and try and say you were referencing a bizarre indie movie from overseas. at this point you were trying to pick would it be even possible to choose a side ?  it seemed impossible just to pick one over the other,  especially knowing that no matter what route you take it would result in an empty, hollow feeling left inside of chest.    you’re not sure who you could go to for guidance,  you weren’t familiar with any muggle borns your own age,  and talking to a pureblood or half blood would go in vein,  the latter would understand to some degree,  but ultimately it’s not the same and with it being so complicated,  listening to people who barely got it would be a waste of time and only twist the knife in gut. 

 “ everyone,  i would like to introduce you to remus jo - “     that was all you really heard dumbledore say before ears blocked out the world like static,  everything beyond the screaming in your head made everything else seem like a distant hum with no tune,  a crackle of a tv that can’t quite catch signal.  your pen tapped against your bottom lip,  perching against it as you eyebrows knitted together in deep thought.   

maybe professor dumbledore could help,  he wouldn’t get it but maybe he could shred some light on the situation ? he was always good at that. 

“ miss l/n - “

perhaps it’s all just being blown out of proportion,  work leave would surely be something the muggles would understand that.  even if they are after photos, work gossip and other details - 

“ y/n “  between the firmness and the sudden block of your view as the men stepped into eyesight causes you to flinch,  reeling away from nothing in panic as you try and grasped your surroundings once more,   blinking up in a rapid succession that causes concern to flash on the two men’s faces.  it takes a moment to register where you were,  the surroundings,  what the hell was going on in general... 

“ huh ? “  your tongue pokes out to roll against your bottom lip,  eyes wide as you stared up at dumbledore,  only for sight to break away from the one your most familiar with to the new guy...    you won’t lie to yourself,  you weren’t ready for seeing someone like him,  especially in your state.  his eyes were beaming with life,  amusement dancing behind dark hues as a faint smile tugged at lips,  hands pushed far into pockets as eye contact seemed to lock,  your lips part to say something,  anything but much like before your brain seemed to short circuit,  this time for an entirely and much more embarrassing reason,  “ huh ? “ you repeated again,  cheeks coming to life with colour as you kept looking at the new guy.

“ this is professor lupin, y/n.   the new defence against the dark arts teacher - “  speaking slower now,  and you’re rather grateful for the approach because you really needed things to stop going by so quickly,  the whole world seemed to flash in front of you at lightening speed.

“ oh “ a pause,  then it really began to register “ OH ! “  it was the most beautiful example of a pin drop ever to grace hogwarts’ walls  (  yes,  dumbledore will be thinking about it years to come  )   -  you jump up rather clumsily and hold your hand out to the man  “ hi,  sorry  -  i was just ... never mind,  hi  ! “ you repeated again,  the embarrassment settling deep within bones,  making itself at home in the creases of mind that would take weeks to weave out.  but regardless of the mocking in head, you do your best to not feed it and give it anymore attention... at least for the time being.   lupins much bigger hand wraps around yours,  a firm but gentle grasp as he finally takes the moment to speak himself. 

“ that’s quite alright,  i can tell that we disturbed you.  in fact i believe we should be the ones apologising, however professor dumbledore here insisted on the introduction - “ it came easily,  between tone of his voice and the warmth of his hand, you’ve never felt safer, it was like being in a warm hug beside the fire on the night of winter;   you mentally slap yourself for acting like a teenager towards a complete stranger.   your eyes however, narrow towards dumbledore,  in a way blaming you own pathetic display on him.  a faint smile on his lips as he made up some excuse to leave the pair of you alone,  not at all hiding the way his eyes twinkled with amusement at the scene that played out. 

your hand flexed around remus’,  far too busy sending daggers at dumbledore walking away than the fact you were still holding the older man hostage,  not helping the murmured   “ ugh,  he can be such an arse sometimes - “ 

“ i believe that’s apart of the charm “ remus chimed,  your eyes moving back to his as you smiled up at him once more,  less tense than what your face was previously  “ um,   miss l/n ?  your hand - “ 

“ oh, fuck, sorry - “   instantly your arms folded across your chest,  the blush only darkening your cheeks “ i promise i’m not this socially inept,  well,  at least to this extent - “ 

“ oh,  don’t fret.  i’ve met much worse people,  i myself tend to panic in social situations.  they’re not my forte “   you shoulders relax,  though you can’t help but note that he seemed surprisingly at ease even with the confession. your eyes dance around the staff room,  much to your own relief they seemed to be back to focusing on their own work. 

“ well,  you’re doing much better than me if that’s any help.  so,  you’re teaching dark arts -  ? “ then the conversation seemed to spark to life without much spluttering after that,  eventually both sitting on the couch and bonding over lessons;  including how you got your position in the first place,   your arm rested on the back of the furniture as your body turned fully to him,  the longer the pair of you were sat there,  the more they progressed beyond work and more into personal ones, about experiences outside of hogwarts and within the walls, not helping the fits of giggles that bubbled in your chest. 

“ being a slytherin comes with the natural title of ‘dark pranks,’  most of us tend to live up to the name.  people demonise us,  so we give them a reason to continue it.  that certainly doesn’t end at our humour, i think it shows more than ever in that aspect - “ you giggled again, head shaking  “ i remember my friends putting a real snake in one of the gryffindors bed covered in animals blood, the girl panicked for weeks  -  but they started it  ! “   

“ i must say being a gryffindor myself,  i feel like i should be offended on behalf of them.  then again,  my friends here were trouble makers as well.  their pranks could... “  wrist rolled in the air,  and while there’s a hint of pain twisting in features and a haunted look that seemed to cover bright eyes,  there was still a fondness in how he spoke  “ extremely, well and truly out of hand ? “

“ ahah  ! “  it’s like a triumph,  finger pointing at the others face   “ you can hide behind the fancy wording all you want, professor.  but you gryffindors can be just as over the top as the rest of us,  if not more so ! “  he knocks your hand away from his face playfully,  grin widening as mock offence does its best to take over features.

“ firstly,  you may call me remus,  second of all,  i will agree with nothing you say,  i would never stoop so low. “ 

your heart skipped a beat at the notion. 

“ you may call me y/n, only when you admit i’m right - “ 

a nice joke to push down the giddiness of calling him by his first name the short hours of knowing him. 

“ how very slytherin of you - “ 

“ how very gryffindor of you to point that out, remus “ 

the back and forth banter eventually came to a halt, as minutes ticked by it was time to go to the great hall for food and to sort out the new years. you and remus walked in a comfortable silence,  a lightness surrounding you both as it showed in your steps, and showed in the way his lips remained locked in a subtle smile.  you were left with one feeling...  finally, dumbledore hired someone worthwhile. you would also give him a hard time for that awkward bow that he did at dinner. 

[englandsgray]

Sherlolly Self-Interviews 2020

Well hi 👋

Ignoring the internal image of Gilderoy Lockheart smiling smugly while flashbulbs pop and saying ‘In my autobiography, Magical Me...’ 🙈😆 I shall take the opportunity of this lovely event to introduce myself as a writer of Sherlolly fanfiction on AO3...

I am English and somewhere over 30.  I watched the show as it aired, and lost my heart as quickly to Molly Hooper as to Sherlock Holmes.  The kiss is British television history.  Series 4 is my favourite.  Moriarty on the beach is life.  The Holmes brothers break my heart every time.

I am extremely lucky to have been provided some questions to answer here by @ohaine and @mybrainrots - huge, huge love and thanks to these two lovelies, and not just for this.  I admire you both so much as writers, and your support means the world to me ❤️ Thanks too, to @sherlollyappreciationweek!

Where did you begin to write, and have you written for other fandoms?  I wrote my first fanfic when I was eleven years old - a 100 page ramble about The Monkees.  Oh yes.  Then in 2018, I fell for the characters of the Disney Pixar film Cars and began writing and publishing.  So far so random!  Writing in this fandom sprang from binge-watching all four series of Sherlock during lockdown.  I remembered reading Louise Brealey talking about being disappointed Molly didn’t get chance to ‘roundly kick Sherlock’s arse’ and agreeing with her wholeheartedly.  That, over a few weeks, turned into my first fic - Who You Really Are.  

You’re a recent (and welcome!) arrival to the Sherlolly ship, and I was wondering if writing in an established, less active than it used to be fandom has been a challenge?   Thank you, firstly.  My experience of this fandom has been incredibly positive - the sense of welcome has been wonderful.  I will admit I was terrified posting the first fic - there are hundreds of times more stories posted daily in the Sherlock fandom as in the one I had some experience of.  But I needn’t have worried, it’s been a blast.  I will also admit, that it’s no small thing to be surrounded by such brilliant writing and the long-standing passion which goes with it.  But I find that inspiring in itself, and I’m very glad to be here - how supportive the fandom are makes me feel like I always have been!       

What’s your favourite place and way to write?  My aesthetic is Lin-Manuel Miranda in his in-law’s laundry room 🤣 I wrote my first ten-thousand words on the notes app on my phone before my other half told me to stop being ridiculous!  I switch between the laptop, my phone and longhand (I’m a sucker for a nice notepad and a Uni-Ball Eye) and, more often than not, not sat up properly at a table.   

Since you’ve (done something I’ve never managed successfully and) written a novella length fic... how did you organise/keep track of all the details and where you wanted the story to go?  Did you outline/plot in advance?  First of all - I would love to see a novella length fic from you @mybrainrots!  The final scene of Who You Really Are came to me very early on and I knew I wanted the fic to fit within TFP - a lot of it takes place in the timeframe of the final montage.  At first, it was going to be much more about Sherlock’s relationship with the ideas of sentiment and love (the phrase ‘I’m not sentimental about you, I love you,’ haunted me for a while) and I spent some time researching the psychology and playing with scenes from throughout the series - one of my favourites I didn’t go on to use was inspired by the final scene of THoB.  Using scenes from the canon gave an automatic structure, and I was always aiming for the final one I wrote early on - the two of them on the beach (everything is about the beach, with me!)  As I went along and started, inevitably, to slow down, I mapped out the chapters with a short note of what I wanted to be in each, then would add notes or phrases as they came to me - often emailed from my phone!  I had to force myself through a tricky section set in Baker Street at one point, but it came together in the end.  I did plot The Pathologist’s Skeletons on paper first, as I found with a casefic which remains a WIP, that I can get confused and lose focus when it comes to details and how to reveal them in a way which stays paced and interesting.  I’ll certainly do that from now on with longer stories and cases.  How did you keep up enthusiasm for the work?  I want to write an original novel, so I am forcing myself to work through the knotty bits and blocks as a learning experience.  Not everything is destined to be finished or finessed, of course, but I’m finding this process is building my confidence that I can overcome problems and slow periods.  I also find I know when I need some external inspiration - some of my favourite scenes have come to me while out walking the dog or sitting on the beach.  I’ve also been inspired by books or other series or things going on in the world, as we all are, and sometimes that’s pushed me on.  Plus, of course, I’m a newbie - I’m very much in the honeymoon period of my writing, even though I’ve loved Sherlock for ten years! (Ten years! Bonkers.) 

You’ve got a knack for writing Sherlock’s thoughts and capturing his voice.  That said, which character do you find easiest to write?  Which is the hardest?  Thank you so much.  I absolutely love writing Sherlock and Mycroft, and I’m sure that’s because they suit my somewhat over-the-top writing style!  I find Molly and her POV really difficult.  I want the scenes I write from her perspective to sound completely different to Sherlock, but that means writing in a style which doesn’t come as naturally to me.  I’m a long way off happy with that at the moment, but I’m enjoying the challenge.

Is there a scene or character that specifically inspired you to start writing Sherlolly?  The whole of TFP, but especially from the moment Sherlock arrives at Musgrave onwards.  I am desperate to see what a Sherlock Holmes who has been reacquainted with his own heart would look like.  I find his emotionality in those final scenes hugely compelling (Mycroft’s office is one of my favourite moments from across all four series) and, as I have always believed in him and Molly, I practically jumped up back in May after watching it and said ‘right, where’s my notebook?!’.

There’s a lovely peaceful, quiet feeling to your fic ‘We’re All Right At The Moment’.  Can you tell us what inspired it and if you’ve thought of doing the backstory that goes with it?  Thank you!  Like everyone, I would go back to January of this year and start again in a heartbeat, but I am hugely fortunate to be able to say that I have a lot to be grateful to the UK lockdowns for.  I might never have begun writing in this fandom otherwise, for one, and I have had a brilliant time so far and met some lovely people. Honestly, I don’t feel able to do any sort of justice in my writing to what has happened in the world in any broader sense than drawing on my own experiences of staying at home and enjoying my family.  This particular super-short fic sees Molly cutting Sherlock’s hair at home in Baker Street.  I wrote it in the evening after I had cut my other half’s hair and had been reminding myself that despite how horribly worried I was - and still am - about everything, we were all right in that moment, and to focus on that as much as possible.  I wanted to try to capture that, if for no reason other than to look back on this entire experience and remember something lovely, so I am so pleased to hear you felt the fic did that.  It was only after I finished it and reread it, that I realised it is ambiguous as to whether Molly is worried about Sherlock contracting the virus, or whether she is remembering him being treated for it... As I say, I don’t think I could write more about these extraordinary circumstances - perhaps it’s just too close at the moment - so I don’t plan on extending it.  But you know how it is, the plot bunnies hop where they will... 

Do you have a Sherlolly music playlist?  What are your top five favs from the list? Here’s a run down of (6 🙊) songs I have been getting emotional over in the last little while, leading my brain to assign their significance to my favourite couple...

Kissing You - Des’Ree - It’s so 90′s, it’s a bit cheesy, it’s oddly disturbing.  It helped me write A Request, Made Properly, and that gave me an excuse to have Sherlock kiss Molly in the snow.

How Long Will I Love You? - Ellie Goulding - part of the playlist, but also in remembrance of a friend who passed away recently.  Life is very short, love is forever.

High and Dry - Jamie Cullum - It’s made me emotional for a very long time.  The original is my partner’s version of choice, this is mine.  

Think About You - Delta Goodrem - Okay, this one isn’t emotional, and it’s not my usual vibe!  Blame the zoom exercise class I do!  But oh my goodness, it’s Molly.  Bless her.

Blinded By Your Grace (P.T.2. F.T. MNEK) - Stormzy - One of the best ever, I reckon.  Spent an awful lot of time thinking about angels and demons, grace and what it takes to save someone, while writing my latest - The Pathologist’s Skeletons.  This has been in my head most of the (blimmin’) time!

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding - I didn’t know I was a fan of Ellie until I wrote this list... I don’t subscribe to the theory that the love Molly wants or that which Sherlock has to offer is any lesser because it isn’t ‘normal’ or expected. I don’t think romantic entanglement would come easy to either of them. But it’s still love and it would be beautiful.

Thank you so much for reading.  Thanks and love to @ohaine and @mybrainrots. And thank you @sherlollyappreciationweek for the event and for everything you do ❤️

Feel like I should sign off with a quote from the show...

“You’re not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You’re a drama queen!” Dr John Watson (Moffat & Gatiss) 2014 😜

X

A fav fic of mine by @mybrainrots

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563193

A fav fic of mine by @ohaine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562904

My stuff:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglandsGray/works

[bisluthq]

*WARNING Domestic violence topic* Could you explain to me why seven could sound queer?, Like I can see how many Taylor songs can be interpreted in a queer way, but with seven I can't see it, like for me it's clearly about domestic violence and the only possible queer thing I can hear it's the closet part...but in this particular case I do not think it refers to sexuality but to literally hiding form your abusive parents. Sorry if this was asked before or if it's disrespectful to ask.

So firstly let me just say that victims of abuse who hear that in the song are so valid. And I’m not here to “take away” a song that speaks to that experience. If it brings you comfort and relief, that’s amazing.

Do I think Taylor meant it as a song about domestic violence or escaping from that? Honestly, no. Because she described herself in LPSS as longing for that time in her life and talked about how she misses being able to throw tantrums and feel more freely and without judgement; in her head she’s thinking about this period in her life very fondly. Now, this is one of those death of the author moments because if you’re an abuse survivor who found comfort in this you... shouldn’t care wtf Taylor meant by it, what matters is what it means to you. Same as how if betty speaks to your sapphic teenage love triangle, it shouldn’t matter that Taylor imagined James as a boy.

But yeah, so for Taylor it was not meant to be about abuse. It was about feeling stuff more freely. And let’s take a look and examine at why it feels so fucking gay to... like... basically every queer woman.

Please picture me

In the trees

I hit my peak at seven

Okay so Taylor is setting up a narrator - presumably herself. Especially in the context of her hyperconfessional marketing and the LPSS explanation we’re literally meant to picture Tay. But tbh that doesn’t matter so much - it could be any little girl. This little girl is “in the trees”... which isn’t really where little girls are supposed to be. In these very first lines Tay is setting up a little tomboy character.... and then she says “I hit my peak at seven” - ergo this rugrat period of abandon, where I was free to play in the trees, is “my peak”. It was the best time in “my” life.

Lots of people feel that, it’s not inherently gay, but for queer women - I don’t know about other shades of queer but suspect yes - childhood often represents even greater freedom than to hets because it’s before we felt deviant. There was nothing to compare ourselves to. Sure, we might’ve played families in het couples like heteronormativity is felt by children too, but that kind of thing was largely asexual and we didn’t know yet that other people felt differently about it all.

Like I only realized I was different in late middle school and I didn’t have the word for it for ages tbh. Like I just knew I didn’t get the fuss about boys. When I was a little kid? I didn’t know what the fuss was really. It was a kind of “peak” so yeah, I feel that in my bones.

Feet

In the swing

Over the creek

I was too scared to jump in, but I, I was high

In the sky

Here we have her playing, once again with reckless abandon - she’s standing on a swing (naughty!) and swinging high over a creek. But she’s slightly nervous. I relate to that too, it’s not a gay thought it’s a little kid thought I think - because while she’s enjoying her freedom and the chance to play, there’s an awareness of the risk. That’s a lot of childhood and what makes her such a greater songwriter is how she’s able to capture these feelings we’ve all had before, in this case the rumbunctious nature of free play paired with the cautious nervousness of knowing you can fall.

With Pennsylvania under me

I mean this simple makes it more autobiographical for her, like if we didn’t know her was her that was the me , now we really do.

Are there still beautiful things?

This is speaks to her nostalgia for this time period and serves to highlight how much she misses it. She wishes she was young and innocent and had that freedom of playing in the trees and above the creek and feeling like she’s flying just because she’s standing upright on the swing. This is meant to be her “peak”.

Sweet tea in the summer

Cross your heart, won't tell no other

The first line is setting up mood again, it’s innocence and suburbia and freedom and the hot days of summer vacation. The second is a common English phrase - for the ESL folks - that means “let’s keep a secret”. It’s extremely common for little girls especially to have secrets with each other. “You’re my best friend and I’ll tell you something I haven’t told anyone else before but cross your heart you won’t tell anyone else” is the kind of thing that has probably happened at a sleepover for every woman (gay or straight). So Tay’s whispering and telling secrets to her best friend aged seven in the heat of the summer and the neat rhymes kinda remind me of those clapping games you play as a kid.

And though I can't recall your face

I still got love for you

Again, I think this isn’t specific to gay kids necessarily - it’s that idea of having lifelong affection for your first best friend even when you don’t know where they are, can’t imagine them in adulthood, maybe can’t even remember their surname and frankly don’t really want to or care... but you still have warm feelings towards them.

Your braids like a pattern

Love you to the moon and to Saturn

So the friend is a girl. And here’s where the non wlw readers will have to work with me a little bit because as I’ve explained before a very common, enteral part of the queer female experience is obsession with other girls’ femininities. We notice things like hair and clothes and makeup on girls far more than straight girls seem to and waaay more than het guys do. A friend of mine who is v butch noticed like minor shit that any of us change in our appearance. Describing in detail a girl’s appearance feels - on a gut level - pretty gay. Now this isn’t a detailed description, but she links this physical trait - this pretty, braided hair her friend has - to loving her.

Now, she is a child in this story. This isn’t a sexual kind of thing in the child’s mind. She’s obviously not “in love” with her friend aged seven. But she is saying her deep, overwhelming love for her friend is inextricably linked - via rhyme scheme - to her feminine appearance.

This incredibly close, quasi homoerotic friendship is a near universal wlw experience and I’m sorry but it differs from straight girls’ close friendships because it’s... a lot. It is “love you to the moon and to Saturn” and obsessing over her clothes and hair and little habits.

And there’s no vocab for this, nothing to prepare you for it and nobody bats an eye because little girls are supposed to be friends with one another but like... you’re way overinvested and often that other girl isn’t and starts to drift away because she isn’t having this language free connection and it’s legit heartbreaking.

Passed down like folk songs

The love lasts so long

This childhood friendship becomes an anecdote, a moment of folkloric storytelling, but it never completely fades away and tapping into this first - not quite sexual but very sapphic - experience is super easy.

And I've been meaning to tell you

I think your house is haunted

Your dad is always mad and that must be why

And I think you should come live with

Me and we can be pirates

This sets up the narrative some people - I understand where y’all are coming from and I am here for it - hear of domestic abuse. The thing is, it’s not Tay’s character who is getting abused. Tay is a small child - and she’s envious of and nostalgic for that era of her life, when she thought that her best best best friend’s asshole dad was simply reacting to ghosts. It speaks to an innocence her character has which may not be shared by her friend, the girl with the braids.

But Tay is innocent and she says “come with me” and run away so we can be pirates together. Now, on a very basic and superficial pop culture level it’s worth noting Keira Knightley in POTC is pretty fundamental to any queer millennial woman’s sexual awakening. However, that’s not what Tay’s referencing here. She’s saying, at least on some level, let’s run away and be gender nonconforming. Again, she’s a small child. She doesn’t know why she wants that. But she doesn’t tell her friend “let’s run away and be princesses” - she wants to be a pirate. It links to the first scene in the song of her being a tomboy in the trees and on the swing, honestly. There were also a number of cross dressing female pirates, many of whom were gay back in the day so it’s a subtle nod to how a lot of childhood fantasies actually are rooted in possible historical fact.

But also come on, every queer girl wanted to be a pirate idk why really we just did. Like I say I can explain it as a desire not to conform to gender norms but it’s also just... another weirdly common fantasy that she’s tapping into.

Like idk this song is so fucking gay and it’s not trying to be but every line is just... felt in my bones. Like little me is seen by this song.

Then you won't have to cry

Or hide in the closet

This is obvi the line people go on about and look. The friend’s dad is clearly an asshole like that’s established. But the line has a double meaning. She’s saying if you run away with me to be a pirate on the high seas you won’t have to cry anymore and you won’t hide in the closet. It’s an innocent thought but it’s also a double meaning, right? You won’t be abused, you won’t be sad. And you’ll be with me out of the closet. It could’ve been “hide under the bed” or “behind the curtains”. But she picked closet. And that word gives this verse a second meaning, which is particularly palpable given as I say this is a very gay song from a thematic standpoint.

And just like a folk song

Our love will be passed on

Again, this is a deeeeep love. This is someone she wants to run away with. And she probably doesn’t know why, she probably doesn’t have the words. She’s a little kid. But this friend of hers is the person she wants to rescue and run away with and be together with even though she - Tay - is pretty content otherwise. In fact, she longs for this time in her life. It was full of beautiful things. And yet despite being happy, she was willing to drop it all for her little female friend she was clearly preoccupied with.

Please picture me

In the weeds

Before I learned civility

I used to scream

Ferociously

Any time I wanted

I, I

Again, this reiterates she is nostalgic for this time period. It was a good time in Taylor’s life. It was a time when she could be herself, before she had learned civility and what was expected from her by society. Which ties back to that thing I said right in the beginning, about how this first quasi sapphic friendship is cherished by queer women because we didn’t know it was weird. We hadn’t “learned civility” yet. We could scream, we could run around and climb trees, and we could ask our friends to run away with us not knowing those thoughts didn’t occur to them with the same intensity.

Sweet tea in the summer

Cross my heart, won't tell no other

And though I can't recall your face

I still got love for you

We’ve discussed this already. It’s still queer coded to me.

Pack your dolls and a sweater

We'll move to India forever

Passed down like folk songs

Our love lasts so long

So she’s once again cementing the fact that this is a little female friend with the dolls, and again suggests running away together and says even though none of that happened and she grew up and realized this... was actually a fairly specific experience not a universal universal one and she learned civility and heteronormativity but this foundational, pure, innocent gay love... will always remain in its complete innocuous harmlessness but immense power.

And so, yeah. This song is probably Taylor’s gayest shortly followed by Treacherous.

But if it means something else to you, I’m by no means taking it away. Anyone can enjoy her music in any way they like.

It’s just weird that most queer women feel their childhood selves are completely seen by this song if it was a complete accident 🤷🏻‍♀️

[sarcastic-space-gal]

Water Under The Bridge

Summary: Bones love life was rough in the past, and when he finds you he is afraid of messing it all up again. 

Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warning: None?

A/N: Hi everyone! I was listening to Adele’s song “Water Under The Bridge” (go listen to it if you haven’t already!) and instantly felt inspired, so here it is! Hope you enjoy it, feedback is always appreciated! Love you all xoxo.

His fingers typed quickly the patient’s information on the padd. There was complete silence in his studio besides the normal spaceship sounds and the small chattering outside in the Medbay.

His fingers started slowing down and ultimately came to a stop. Bones’ lifted his head from the pad and peered to the side, in an unknown direction, lost in thought. Minutes passed by until he finally regained his attention with a sigh and a small shake of his head, determined to finally finish what he was doing. But he couldn’t.

Every time he tried to not think about it, his mind would instantly drift away and he couldn’t do anything to stop it, making his job even harder to finish.

Out of frustration, he pushed the pad away then passed his hands down his face while he left a loud sigh. A soft knocking sound broke the silence in his studio.

“Doctor McCoy?”

Leaning back in his chair Bones sighed. “Come in”

Nurse Chapel entered with a small smile “I finished doing the inventory, you just have to sign this Doctor”

Without saying anything, Bones took the padd from the nurse’s hands and signed it quickly.

Noticing the frown on his face, the nurse asked softly “Are you ok Doctor McCoy?”

Even though she knew really well the Doctor’s temper and his grumpy demeanor, it was unusual even for him to be so serious and thoughtful. Not a sarcastic remark or small talks of some kind.

“Yes, yes… I’m fine” he dismissed her rapidly and went back to what he was doing.

Chapel gave him a sympathetic smile and exited quietly.

The day went by normally, but any task or stitches Bones would perform, his mind was never there for more then five minutes.  Nurse Chapel wasn’t the only one who noticed it, firstly his friend Kirk, and even Spock who commented that “The Doctor’s  moody demeanor was quite worse than usual”

Kirk at first ignored his first commander’s comment but he soon got a confirmation when it was time for lunch, and he was avoiding his annual physical, again.

This was the third time Kirk had rescheduled his appointment, but Bones knew him far too well, he knew he would never come down to Medbay of his own accord. Like every other year, he always had to force him or take him by surprise, injecting him with his hypos around the ship, in the most random occasions.

So when Kirk sat down to enjoy his meal next to Spock and saw Bones approaching his table with the most serious expression drawn on his face, he instantly thought it was there to take him away. However it didn’t happen. Bones sat down quietly, placed his tray on the table and started eating without acknowledging the fearful expression on Kirk’s face.

“Bones?”

Without even lifting his head the Doctor hummed lightly. “Mmmh?”

“I thought you were here to drag me down to Medbay”

“For what?”

Kirk was very confused at this point. Bones never ever forgot about those kind of things: something was really up to him.

“My annual physi-”

“Good morning Captain, sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to inform you that me and Mr Scott are working assiduously to repair the main reactor”

A silvery voice interrupted Kirk’s comment, making Bones’ heart skip a beat. For the first time in that conversation, his eyes darted up to meet your beautiful face.

“We should be able to reach warp speed in no more than few hours” you assured with a smile.

“Y/n! Alright, thank you. Why don’t you join us?” Kirk said pointing to the empty spot near him and Bones.

You looked briefly between the two men, instantly feeling uneasy but tried not to show it. Feeling Bones’ eyes on you, you excused yourself.

“Sorry Captain, I must go finish the reparations, Scotty is probably waiting for me” and with that you walked away, leaving Kirk speechless. The Captain immediately looked at his friend who was now sighing with his eyes down to the tray.

“Bones, what happened with Y/n?”

“Doctor, your expression and manner suggests an inner conflict”

“Spock your concern flutters me” Bones responded sarcastically.

The First Commander cocked his eyebrow.

“Come on Bones, what is it?”

I ruined everything. She is the light of my life, and I ruined everything he wanted to say. His heart ached.

“It’s nothing” he stood up, leaving his food almost untouched and his friend in total confusion. He was probably heading back to Medbay.

       ___________________________________________________

A loud knock made Bones almost jump in his seat. He was ready to shout at whoever knocked before seeing Kirk’s head popping out behind the door.

“Jim what the hell”

“May I?” he asked swinging a bottle of whiskey in his hand. A grunt from the Doctor was the answer as he entered placing the bottle down on his friend’s desk.

“I guess you are not here to enjoy a good whiskey Jim”

“You are right” he confirmed with a playful smile while pouring two glasses.

Bones took one and drank, the hot feeling of the alcohol calmed his nerves a bit.

“Listen, if you are here to talk about Y/n, I have nothing to say”

Kirk looked at him trying to ignore his stubbornness.

“Come on Bones, I know you. I can see there is something wrong. You are distracted, grumpier than usual. You didn’t try to chase me after I rescheduled three times my appointment. Even Spock noticed it.”

The Doctor continued looking at the glass in his hands, occasionally taking a sip from it, tasting the liquor.

Hearing no response from him, Jim urged “Spit it out” as he also took a sip of the drink.

Bones knew Jim too, he knew he would never give up before hearing what he had to say about the situation. Trying to find the right words to use, he placed down his glass.

“It’s just...” he sighed “I’m not the one for her”

Jim furrowed his eyebrows “What do you mean?”

“My love life has been a mess, the past sometimes still haunts me”

Kirk gave him a sympathetic smile.

“And then I found her...she is amazing, truly. I almost thought I could be happy again. But I’m not the one for her, she needs someone better than me, someone who’s not so messed up like me. So I tried to keep my distance but I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about her...”

Jim was surprised to say the least: seeing his friend like this was completely new for him. He knew that his past was haunting him but what he was saying about you made no sense. He was there when Bones first saw you and he could swear he had never seen his friend so fond of someone. The way he looked at you during meetings, while you talked. He was madly in love.

But so were you.

“Bones, I saw Y/n when she’s around you. She is in love.” his friend looked up to meet his eyes, hope drawn on his features.

“Keep her away can led only to suffering. For both of you.” he smiled. Bones simply nodded.

“You should talk to-”

A loud banging sound could be heard throughout all the ship. Jim and Bones instinctively put their hands around their armchair to maintain balance and not fall to the ground.

“What the hell was that?” the CMO shouted.

The computer beeped before Jim could respond.

“Bridge to Captain” Chekov’s voice.

“Kirk here. Mr. Chekov what is going on?”

“The main reactor Sir. It seems there was a radiation leakage down in engineer, there was an explosion Sir.”

Jim turned his head to his friend in utter surprise as Bones eyes widened in horror.

“Y/n” he whispered.

Without thinking about it twice he stood up in a second and sprinted outside Medbay, Jim right behind him.

              ___________________________________________________

“I don’t know lassie, you should talk to him”

Since Leonard and you met the first time, for you it was love at first sight. Deep down you knew, he it was the same for him: the way he looked at you, how he remembered small things that you liked, his attentions… But then in a blink of an eye he started avoiding you, he seemed almost scared. You couldn’t understand why.

“I know Scotty, I know. But he is avoiding me...” you sighed earning a raised eyebrow from Scotty.

“He probably doesn’t want to lose you too, his past is rough”

You looked down for a brief moment, then took the screwdriver and started tighten some parts.

“So avoiding people is the new way to get through it?”

Scotty was standing by your side, watching as you fixed the last circuits “I saw how he looks at you, everyone noticed it to be honest. He was less grumpier than usual with you by his side I have to tell you lassie”

The idea of being by his side made you smile a little. With a quick movement you stood up and met Scotty’s eyes.

“Done” you said rubbing away the dirt from your uniform.

“Nice work lass” he smiled “I can finish here, go talk to-”

Before he could say anything else, a loud sound surrounded both of them.

Then an explosion.

          ___________________________________________________

The corridors to engineer were teeming with nurses and other crew members called by Kirk in order to find the source of the explosion and to assist possible wounded shipmates.

When Jim and Bones arrived, some hurt ensigns were already been carried away, some others were only intoxicated by the smoke and were headed out the engineer room with a little help.

Bones looked around frenetically, you were nowhere to be seen.

“Spock report!”

“Captain, the explosion seemed to have damaged just some secondary valve, no damage to the warp core”

“That’s good” he left out a sigh of relief while following Bones with his eyes who was trying to find you “What about the crew?”

“Some wounded ensigns, no mortal injuries”

The smoke was thick, seeing what was inside the room was impossible. Bones patience was running thin when suddenly he heard some coughing coming from inside.

You and Scotty appeared with your hand clenched to your mouths, trying to prevent toxic inhalations.

“Y/n!”

Hearing your name made your head turn as you saw Bones approaching you quickly.

“Le-” you couldn’t finish because his strong arms encircled you.

“Are you ok? Are you hurt?” his hands traveled down to your forearms.

“I’m fine” you coughed.

“I’m fine too Doctor” said Scotty sarcastically.

You continued coughing and Bones urged “We need to go to Medbay”

         ___________________________________________________

Sitting on the biobed you could feel Bones’ breath on your neck as he examined your lungs. The beeping of the tricorder was the only sound in the room. You could hear all the voices and the frenetic footsteps outside, but you two were completely quiet. Just your sporadic cough waves.

It was you voice that broke the silence after few minutes.

“You know… If I'm not the one for you, you've gotta stop holding me the way you did before”

Bones heart started hammering again in his chest “I thought you were hurt, or worse”

He walked around the bed to stay in front of you.

“Sweetheart I...” he sighed placing down the tricorder. Luckily, you were completely fine.

You took courage and asked “Why are you avoiding me Leonard? Did I do something wrong?”

“No Y/n, you didn’t” he took your hands in his and gently rubbed soft circles. “I was afraid.”

Your eyebrows raised in perplexity. 

“The first time i saw your face i knew i was in love but i also knew that you needed someone better than me...”

“Don’t even say that” your grip in his hands tightened for an instant. 

“Len i know your past, i know what happened, but don’t let it bring you down. Just have hope... in us. Just don’t pretend that you don’t want me, please”

“The only thing i want is you Y/n, i can’t stay away from you, i can’t stop thinking about you and i don’t want to mess things up again, not with you, you are too importanto to me” your heart melted. 

“You won’t” you smiled. 

He couldn’t hold back a smile, full of happiness, happiness he thought he would never feel again in his life.  Standing up you looked into his eyes, meeting his steady glare. His hand slowly made its way to your face as he stroke away a strand of hair behind you ear. You heart faltered.

His free hands came up to cup your face along with the other. Your faces just few inches away. 

Then he kissed you, passionately, intensely. You melted in that blissful moment.

Bones smiled when your lips parted “I promise. I won’t”

       ___________________________________________________

TAG LIST

@dyn-djarin​

@zizzlekwum​

@ivvitm1109​

[savagesbonergarage]

Tranquility | Kit Fisto x Reader

Word count: 2326

Warnings: Near-drowning, near-death experience, blood, brutal injury, CPR (or whatever this star wars equivalent would be), scars, fluff, super slow-burn, smut in later chapters

Summary: You often dream about the night you nearly lost your life at the maw of a karkarodon, however it isn’t the trauma that haunts you. Fortunately, fate presents an opportunity to reunite you with your savior face-to-face, and this time, you aren’t going to let him forget you.

(a/n: @hxldmxdxwn​ this is 4 u bby bc i know you’ll read it. :) i have a really bad habit of making established backstories for the reader so sorry if thats annoying. Second chapter will have the *chefs kiss* sexy times, so dont worry if this one isn’t doin it for ya - it’s comin)

Chapter 1 of  4?

It’s so cold.

The small speederboat that carried you across the waves was softly rocking, beginning to lull you to sleep. You had deflected the remaining power in the boat to the repulsorlift and scanners in order to conserve enough energy to make it back home once you had done all you could after a long day and night of sifting through the sea’s garbage. You had collected as much trash as your cargo floor could hold and managed to save thirteen different sea creatures from their mangled nooses, but you weren’t ready to call it a night yet.  

There’s always one more, I can save one more life.

And you were always right. The scanner in front of you beeped loudly, depicting what appeared to be a large turtle caught in an old electroshock net approaching on the screen. You rushed to action and honed in on the poor creature’s location, your vibroblade at the ready. Once you were close enough, you carefully pulled the turtle closer to the speeder and cut away all the suffocating bits of netting that trapped it.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, there...that’s better.”

As soon as it was freed from its entanglement, the turtle swam a quick delightful loop around the speeder before it returned to you and rested its head in your palm. You smiled, thanking it with some soft chin scratches. This is why you always went above and beyond doing what you do. You loved the seas and it’s creatures, and knowing that you were making a difference, even for only a handful of lifeforms, was worth it. You bid the turtle farewell as it returned to the depths, uttering a sigh of relief that was hastily followed by a yawn. If you were going to have the strength to do all this again the next morning, you needed to head out. 

The giant net you had saved the turtle from weighed far more than you anticipated. Once you had finally pulled it all from the water, the screen beeped a loud warning signaling cargo capacity was at its absolute maximum. 

“Well, looks like we’re going the old-fashioned way tonight.”

After the push of a button, the speederboat hit the surface of the water with a huge smack nearly sending you overboard. Repulsors were convenient for saving time, but your old speeder simply couldn’t handle the weight. Every night you contemplated getting a bigger and better one once you had earned enough credits, but for now you had to make due. You set the course for home and climbed into your seat, looking up at the stars. Your eyelids became heavier and heavier, and with the aid of the swaying waves, you drifted off to sleep.

***

There was a loud thud accompanied with the convulsion of the boat, which knocked you out of your seat and jolted you awake. Your forehead hit the hard durasteel control panel and you felt the hot blood trickle down your face. You held your hand beneath your nose and stumbled up onto your feet, groaning in pain, as you checked your surroundings. You weren’t sure how long you’d been napping, but the speederboat was stalled and you couldn’t see land in any direction. More importantly, there weren’t any obstructions nearby that your boat could have hit. You started to panic as you jumped over to your control panel and searched the area. Luckily, the shoreline was only about eight klicks to the southeast, but you still weren’t near as close as you should have been; especially considering the fact that your fuel reserves were gone. Completely empty.

“Oh, no…”

You did your best to keep calm and think rationally, trying to focus on how you were going to get home. You had some emergency rations on board, and there was likely something in the garbage pile that you could use to help row the speeder back to the docks. It would take a while, but you would get there eventually. Unfortunately the moment your panic dissipated, a giant red flash sped across the tracking screen. If you blinked you would have missed it. The air felt ominous and your gut was screaming at you to defend yourself. You pulled out your vibroblade and took a defensive stance, hoping, praying, that your instinct was wrong.

It wasn’t.

The monster shot up from the water and slammed directly into you, pinning and crushing you beneath its massive, heavy frame. It’s forearm was pushing against your neck, immobilizing you as a rumbling roar of a chuckle escaped it’s gargantuan jaw. Rows and rows of deadly sharp teeth flashed at you, filling you with dread. A karkarodon. It released its hold on you and stood up, laughing at the sight of your incapacitated state as you coughed and groaned.

“Finally. I’ve been hunting you for a while…”

He studied the substantial collection of trash on board and scoffed. You tried to ignore the pain and prop yourself up onto your elbows, just in time to watch the vile shark start throwing the piles of junk back into the water. You choked on your words many times before you finally got them out.

“S-stop! What do you think you’re doing?! Isn’t the sea your home?”

The karkarodon snarled and stomped back over to you, waving an accusatory webbed finger in your direction.

“Your actions are disrupting my meals, pathetic human! With the shallows obstructed with this, my prey are forced into the deep waters where I reside. My prey would swim directly into my jaws, until you encouraged them to return here.”

His words were meant to intimidate you, however you took them as a compliment. Your hard work was beginning to pay off after all, and you were saving more lives than you knew. You spoke through a hearty grin, blinking away blood and tears.

“Sounds like a personal problem.”

Before you could even react, his denticled leg collided with your ribs and launched you into a durasteel plate on the other side of the boat. Blood now coated your tongue with a metallic film, and your vision was beginning to fade. Was it really going to end like this? Your eyes danced across the floor, spotting your vibroblade that was thankfully just within reach.

Not yet. Not without a fight.

You pushed through the torment your body was suffering through sufficiently enough to grab hold of your weapon. After a handful of wheezes through gritted teeth, you willed yourself onto your feet and charged at the gilled bandit, catching him off guard with enough time to cleave your blade deep into his rhomboid with all your strength. 

With a resounding bellow you were knocked onto your backside by the seething karkarodon, who now gazed at you with rage-filled predatory eyes.

“That’s it, time to feast!”

Pain still shot through you from your attack and although your body couldn’t be willed to move, you had to move, somewhere, anywhere, soon, quickly, now. Move!

However, it was too late. It had all happened so rapidly. As you were preparing to fling yourself off the vessel, the beast shot at you with accelerated velocity and clamped his jagged maw deep into your flesh, encompassing the entirety of your shoulder and bicep, the crunch and popping of bone and muscle fermenting into every cell within you as you were both plunged into the sea. The water erupted in crimson plumes the further the teeth sank into you and the deeper you descended into the cold abyss. You could no longer determine which hurt was coming from where, and your breath had become lodged in your throat. 

So, this was it. You were going to die.

Strangely, you began to feel at peace. You relaxed every part of your being and gazed upward into the bursts of your own blood that gracefully danced up to the surface of the water. You pondered on the life you had lived, and prepared to accept your fate.

I only wish I could have done more…

Something dropped into the sea above you, creating a foamy eruption of bubbles as it dived directly into the swirling red. It was nearly impossible to tell what it was, as you began to fade in and out of consciousness. A rod of peridot light illuminated in front of the mysterious personage as it drew closer to you. Another monster? You couldn’t be sure; you were fading, and fading fast. The presence of this figure comforted you in a strange way you couldn’t explain, and as it swam nearer you could finally see that it wasn’t an it, but a he. His face, his body, his rippling tendrils entered your field of vision, and you couldn’t help but smile as you let go of everything. 

It all faded into blackness, and you were gone.

***

“Breathe. Please, breathe through me.”

A voice. It echoed in your mind as though it were yours, but it clearly belonged to someone else. There was a feeling, a desire, to focus solely on your breath. To remember how to breathe. Slowly, ever so slowly, sensations began to return to you. Firstly, pain. Maker, it was almost unbearable.

“It is alright. Keep breathing.”

The next sensation was pressure; you sensed varying pressures all over as you started to encapsulate your own body once again. More soreness and pain, but also warmth. You could feel...something. Where were your hands? Your eyes refused to open, but your skin was able to feel touch better than before. You willed your fingers to move, and there was another sensation - something was pressed against you, or someone, that was supporting you. You felt skin, so unlike your own, but so smooth and warm. 

“That’s it. Stay focused.”

There was something so soothing about this voice. It was so close, just who did it belong to? Another sensation overtook you - chill, the chill of the moving water. There was a stable pressure at the nape of your neck, around your waist, and...on your mouth. Something sparked, but you weren’t entirely sure what. You focused on your breathing again, and you clutched the warm body that was holding onto you. This was a person after all. A man, and his mouth was pressed against yours. You were breathing his air. You felt your body squirm a little as your face tensed with all the nerves that were hitting you.

“We’re almost there, just a little more.”

 The outline of his lips against yours became more prominent with each passing second. It seemed that the longer you felt this intense pain, the faster your mind was being restored. Curiosity began to overtake you now, and you had to see...slowly, you opened your eyes. Everything was blurry and distorted for a while, but you could see his silhouette. Your arms were wrapped around his neck, and your hands were clutching onto some of his numerous headtails. His eyes - you could finally see his eyes, mere inches from your own. You gazed into them, completely mesmerized by how somehow the entire galaxy was reflected in there, while they bore into yours in return. You felt the corners of his mouth extend into a smile.

“That’s a good girl.”

Water rushed around your ears as the both of you emerged your heads through the surface of the sea. He still clutched you tightly, but he moved his hand from your nape to your cheek as he broke your oral connection, allowing you to breathe for yourself. Naturally, you gasped and coughed, the sting of the pain from your endeavor engulfing your entire body in waves. Your nautolan hero kept you above water as he used the force to pull the edge of your speederboat to him and carefully lifted you into it. You rolled onto your back, still convulsing and shivering before he hopped over and held you with your back against his chest. He vigorously rubbed your good arm to conduct heat while he activated the comm on his free wrist to contact his astromech. 

You made the mistake of looking over at your shoulder; or at least what was left of it. The churned flesh was flayed into hanging bits, and you had lost so much blood that the exposed meat was nearly white. You instinctively used your good arm to grab the nautolan’s right hand and clutch it desperately, trying to think of whatever you could to distract from the pain. You had a thousand questions for him, but one more dire than the rest. You did your best to form a coherent sentence.

“N-name...w-what’s your-”

He carefully pulled you in even closer to his bare chest, enveloping you in as much warmth as possible. You felt the rumble in his throat as he answered you.

“I am Kit Fisto. Jedi Knight of the Republic.”

 The whir of a Republic transport sounded overhead, and Kit swiftly carried you in his arms over to the hatch. Your eyes never left his face - you wanted to remember it forever.

“Kit…”

He looked down at you and smiled handsomely with both his lips and his eyes, a Kit Fisto trademark that you would come to treasure for the rest of your life. You could hear the sound of clones clamoring around to get you ready to transfer to the med unit, and your lids became heavy again. You drank in Kit’s features until exhaustion overcame you and you slowly released his hand.

Thank you, Kit Fisto.

***

(Notes below the cut)

(Thanks so much for reading! Better yet, thank you for sticking through to the end :) I wanted to add some notes before I post chapter 2, since there are some things that might need clarifying. First, not super important but I thought it was neat: turtles are a thing in star wars canon, and nautolans were meant to be depicted living on the backs of giant turtles in the special features of the clone wars. I like to think that the reader saving the turtle is forshadowing her encounter(s) with Kit. :) Next, there’s the ‘breathing Kit’s air’ thing that without context totally seems weird, so I’ll try to clarify for those who haven’t read the Tides of Terror comic: (spoilers?) Kit is amphibious and can breathe both air and water, so when Aayla is underwater unable to hold her breath for much longer, Kit totally fucking kisses her in THE MOST SEXUALLY CHARGED IMAGE IN STAR WARS links their mouths and is able to breathe for both of them. :) Hope this helped some things make more sense! 

If you have any questions for me my asks are always open :) happy reading!)

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Hauntings

summary: Richie and Eddie's daughter has a nightmare with someone familiar in it.

Eddie hears his daughter walking towards their room before she even opens the door. Some planks of their floor creek once you step on them, and it never failed to wake either Eddie or Richie up. Jessie, short for Jessica, knows them by heart.

For some reason, she always has to get up during the night to go to the bathroom, and she’s perfected the art of doing it without waking her parents up. The fact that she doesn’t avoid the steps now, indicates to Eddie that she wants to wake them up, or at least that she wants to catch their attention. He hears Richie shuffle beside him, clearly having the same thoughts as he has.

Eddie props himself up against the headboard, tiredly wiping the sleep out of his eyes. Richie lets out a sigh, not annoyed, because god knows Richie could never be annoyed with their daughter, but out of drowsiness as he fights to wake up.

The door opens slightly, and Eddie sees an eye peeking in through the slit. Jessie searches the room, almost afraid to come in, until she makes eye contact with her dad. She had taken to calling Eddie dad and Richie papa, though sometimes she would joke around and call out both of those words, causing both Eddie and Richie to jump on the opportunity to help her with whatever she needed. When she notices Eddie sitting up in bed, she pushes against the door some more, the light from their hallway window streaming in.

The window is located next to a street light, and tonight after laying in a pitch black room, the light is almost blinding. Eddie has to squeeze his eyes shut, fighting the urge to get up and close the door. He doesn’t, because he needs to wake up some more, and if he closed the door he’s not sure how much longer he’ll be awake for. Now that it’s clear to Jessie that her parents are awake, she stumbles towards their bedside, tilting her arms in a way that indicates she want to be helped. She’s standing on the left side of the bed, which is Eddie’s side.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s Richie who’s neurotic about which side of the bed to sleep on. He won’t sleep on the left side of the bed, ever. Eddie pretends like he doesn’t know the reason, but in reality, he knows it’s because Richie wants to sleep closest to the door. That way, he could protect Eddie if needed. Although Eddie knows that he would die before he’d let anything happen to Richie, like hell trashmouth is going to protect him and not the other way around, but it makes Richie feel better, so Eddie doesn’t argue.  

Because Eddie still has his eyes closed, he misses the grabby hands of his daughter, it being roughly brought to his attention when Richie elbows him in the ribs. Not hard of course, Richie could never hurt Eddie. ‘Pick up our daughter’, Richie mumbles, finally pushing himself up and slotting against Eddie. ‘Don’t sass me,’ Eddie grumbles, but he obviously picks her up, throwing the blanket over her. It’s only then that notices that she’s crying.

‘What’s wrong sweetheart?’ He asks concerned. Richie has only just discovered that Jessie is crying himself, and he reaches over give her a kiss on the top of her head. ‘Daddy’, she wails, hiccupping with the force of her sobs. Richie and Eddie share a look of concern over her head. Eddie hugs her close to his chest, her tears failing against one of Richie’s old t-shirts he’s wearing.

Richie places a hand on her back, swiping softly up and down. Eddie worries for a second, scared that she’s going to make herself throw up, but he focuses on the issue at hand, and if she throws up he’ll deal with that later. ‘Did you have a bad dream?’ Richie suggests, still rubbing her back. Jessie nods erratically, but she doesn’t stop crying, nor does she pick up her head look at Eddie or Richie. Eddie can’t help but feel a little relieved, and he notices that Richie has the same look on his face. It may be awful, but Eddie was worried that she had actually gotten hurt, a dream was bad, but at least she wasn’t physically injured.

‘Alright, it’s okay buttercup come on.’ Eddie says, struggling to lift her head where it’s glued to his shoulder. She doesn’t budge. ‘Breath with papa come on, bug‘, Richie tries but fails again. ‘hey did I tell you my new jokes yet? I bet you haven’t. Do you want me to tell you?’

Jessie usually isn’t allowed to watch Richie’s shows, because of all the sex jokes that Richie makes. It’s a rule that both Eddie and Richie, surprisingly, follow to a T. Eddie will videotape some jokes that she’s allowed to hear, and Richie will practice jokes on her and Jessie loves them. To be fair, she also laughed when she knocked her head against the sharp edge of their table, causing a gaping slice in her forehead, so Eddie doesn’t take her sense of humor all that serious.

She nods again, a small ‘yes please’, floating through the room. Richie smiles, proud of himself for thinking of it before trying to come up with a story to tell her. ‘Okay so me and you dad love swimming right. Even when we were kids. So this one time your dad and uncle Stan decide they don’t want to go swimming.’

Richie launches into a detailed story of the time when he and Stan went with the rest of the losers to the quarry, but decided that the water was too cold to actually swim.

Richie had complained for hours before finally grinning and backing off. Eddie knew and knows Richie well enough however to realize that he wasn’t just about to give up. Instead, when Stan let his guard down, he had been pushed over the cliff by Richie. While being shoved forward Richie had held on to Stan’s shorts, somehow ripping them off and letting Stan fall towards the water naked.

Eddie can’t help but laugh thinking about it now, Stan had been absolutely furious, and Richie was lucky stan hadn’t wanted to emerge from the water, or he would have died that day. They were 17 at the time, and it was the last time the losers ever hung out before leaving Derry. It makes the memory bittersweet.  He can feel Jessie laughing too, her small body shaking from giggles instead of sobs now.

She’s still sniffling, but at least she isn’t panicking so much anymore. Eddie tries again to lift her slowly, and this time she lets him. He smiles at her comfortingly, whipping the remaining tears of her cheeks. ‘Cute, cute, cute’, Richie coos, firstly pinching at his daughters cheeks before doing the same to Eddie.

‘Stop it’, Eddie grumbles at Richie. Jessie flashes them a huge grin. She has gotten used to the way her fathers are when they’re together. ‘Do you want to talk about it sweetheart?’ Eddie asks, not wanting to upset his daughter, but also wanting to get to the bottom of this. She shakes her head quickly, and she looks like she’s about to start crying again. Richie shushes her softly, shrugging when he and Eddie make eye contact. Eddie relents, the last thing he want is to make his daughter upset again.

‘Do you want to sleep with us?’, he asks instead.

‘Yes please’, Jessie says, already shuffling in the middle of the bed. Richie gniffels when she does, remembering a time where she would always come to wake them up when she needed to get up during the night. It had caused for a lot of close calls, and Eddie forcing Richie to stay on the opposite side of the bed. Now though they smile at each other, watching as Jessie gets comfortable. It takes her a while, she keeps writing around. It should be annoying, but Richie can’t find it anything but adoring. As Eddie glances to his alarm clock, he sees that the time is 3:10 pm. He’s going to have trouble waking up for his job tomorrow. He doesn’t care though, Jessie and Richie go first with everything, especially his sleep.

When jessie finally quiets down, and Richie and Eddie start to get comfortable; she suddenly shoots up again. She crawl over Eddie rushing out of the room. Eddie is about to go after her, confused by what was happening, she comes back. Her stuffed animal is clutched in her arms, a shy smile on her face. ‘I can’t forget about mister cuddle’, she muses, getting closer to the bed. Eddie smiles at her, every time he thinks that he can’t love her any more than he already does, she does something like this.

This time, it doesn’t take so long for her to lie down, and Richie pulls the blanket over her. ‘Goodnight young fellows’, Richie says in a horrible English accent. It causes Jessie and Eddie to laugh though, and that was all Richie was trying to do. The next five minutes are completely soundless, and Eddie is almost assured that Jessie is asleep, when she speaks up again.  ‘It was a clown’, she whispers, her hands toying with her stuffed animal.

Eddie freezes up, looking at Richie with wide eyes. His world seems to come crashing down. His silence lasts long enough to worry his daughter, who is staring up at him with curious eyes. Richie’s eyes are just as wide as his, and he’s not saying anything either. Eddie shakes his head firmly, convincing himself that she probably just saw a weird looking clown in a show. He tries his best to smile, but he’s sure it must look more grimace.

‘What happened, Jessie’? He asks, trying his best to keep his voice steady. Jessie shrugs, laying back down on the pillow. ‘He just talked to me. He gave me a red balloon.’ Richie’s eyes seem kind off wet, and he clenches both Jessie and Eddie closer. ‘He said that you and papa used to play with him, and he misses you. Then he tried to bite me.’ She yawns,  apparently she isn’t scared of her dream anymore.

Eddie and Richie however are both wide eyed and awake. Scared to pieces. ‘But it’s alright, because I pulled away fast enough.’ She holds her stuffed animal close to her mouth, getting saliva all of it. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll protect you.’ Richie promises, though he seems just as terrified as Eddie. Jessie falls asleep after that, but Eddie and Richie stay awake, stirring in their worries for their daughter, and in extend their life. In the dark, Eddie swears he sees two yellow eyes.

[kangaracha]

10, 11, 13, 15, 17, 22, 30, 33, 37, 40, 43, 51, 58, 86, 97, 108, 118, 122, 138, 143, 148, and 200

10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?

capital letters, most apostrophes and anything that isn’t on the first page of my phone’s symbols can get fucked, otherwise completely correct

  11. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why?

egypt or syria because i wrote an ac1 fanfic set in both places and did some research and now i’m insanely curious about the history and stuff in those regions and the countries around them but i will absolutely never be brave enough to go to either of those places.

13. Favorite food to pig out on?

chocolate but nothing is pigging out when i work it all off so

15. Disney or Nickelodeon?

disney, but that’s unfair on nickelodeon because i never had nickelodeon growing up

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?

house of earth and blood by sarah j maas. it’s not good like.........like technically i wouldn’t rate her writing super highly and the plot is like, a hot mess sometimes, and if you want anything but five pages of porn from the slowburn you’ll be left wanting, but it w a s highly enjoyable and i ran home from work for four days straight just to keep reading it and i am still thinking about it so yeah, i’d recommend it.

22. Last show you binge watched?

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i mean i’ve watched two episodes a day of the voice this week which is.......i mean listen, you people will be judging me like ‘ugh that’s not even binge watching’ but two 80 minute episodes when i have four hours of downtime a day is like, a lot for me.

otherwise i watched like four or five episodes in a row of miracle workers on stan a couple weeks ago and it was really good and daniel radcliffe is SUCH a WEIRDO and i desperately want to finish watching it but it’s 6pm and also it’s raining

30. Any styles of music you do not like?

like. screamo. um. really hard, loud rock y’know what i mean. and really boring repetitive stuff that doesn’t change the whole way through. i like a solid beat and a melody that grabs you in a headlock and won’t let you go.

33. Favorite emoji?

the like, the fingers pressed together like ‘perfect’ one. i’m not on my phone. i’ll put it here later.

37. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over again and enjoy just as much every time?

singing in the rain. the little prince on netflix. ummmmmmmmm. howl’s moving castle. like all of how to train your dragon. 

40. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?

ironically.

43. Name one celebrity you dislike.

justin bieber and this is hilarious cause two weeks ago i had a whole conversation with one of the girls from work while i was driving us home where we were just shitting on him.

to be fair i haven’t seen anything of him except his music in ages but just like. his lyrics are.....ugh uninspired. disgusting. why do you make me listen to this on the radio. and every time i do see him his attitude is just...........mmm no.

i came back just to add that the line ‘heart full of equity you’re an asset’ haunts me because like......firstly god what a line so romantic, also in my like, region of the world, we call people an asset like, you’re an idiot, you’re somethin’, oh my god you dumbass, y’know. you’re an asset. so every time i hear that line i just hear my mum in my head telling my brother he’s an asset for something dumb he’s done.

51. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?

can’t remember if it was me or my mother who did it and i’m not going to say no because the universe is watching and it will fuck me over

58. Favorite YouTube channel?

achievement hunter but also still skitscape even though he deleted all of his good videos, purely because there used to be this one half hour video of him just roaming around minecraft while his friend yelled at him for deleting footage and there was this thing in there like ‘this is an angry train. i’m on an angry train tony. there will be no stops on this ride’ and i still quote that to this day because i think i’m funny? like i can just hear the way he said it it’s still so funny to me fuck i miss that video

there was just something really cathartic about one friend being angry at another friend while also trying to crack jokes to replace the deleted video for half an hour okay

86. Phrase you say the most?

you tell me keeps

in real life it’s probably ‘fucking stop it’ or clicking/whistling noises and that’s specifically a horse girl thing

97. If you could take home any animal from the zoo, what animal would you take?

zebra

next

oh no wait maybe a tiger. or a giant turtle. or the cute fox things.

108. Biggest pet peeve?

honestly? wet leadropes. 

this is a horse-related peeve. for those confused.

i just....just......just imagine it is winter and you’re looking for a rope. you spot a rope hanging up on the rack. it’s a nice rope, it has not broken clips, it’s the kind of rope that won’t give you ropeburn when a horse inevitably rips it through your hands.

you grab the rope, and immediately your hands are damp and covered in sand grit and horse shit. i just............mmm.

118. Favorite fandom?

zombies, it’s small but good. but also like.......the atla fandom are absolutely killing it right now.

122. Favorite Disney song?

call to the wild. next.

138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised. 

the first one that comes to mind, mainly because i was thinking about it today, in 2016 my friend and i took our horses to a showjumping and dressage competition and the classes were like, 40 riders each, and it was the first time i’d ever competed in classes with more than 5 riders.

and she placed in both dressage classes and jumped clear in the jumping, and i placed like, 20th or some shit in both my dressage classes and i can’t remember what happened in the showjumping i think i was just slow as fuck but clear. anyway she knew she might place and i was pretty damn sure i was tenth or worse again, and i was in the middle of unsaddling my horse when they called the results.

and she placed third. and i placed fourth.

and i had to rush to resaddle my horse to present for my ribbon and like damn, best fourth place ever.

143. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head?

sweet but psycho can go fuck itself. what a shit song. get it the fuck off the radio.

148. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?

parks and rec

200. How long have you been on tumblr?  

who would fucking know what a boring last question

[rorykillmore]

ok haha relevant to ur field: top 10 tv episodes of all time?

i finally sat down and tried to do this and it’s taken me all of like, an entire evening, and i’m STILL not sure i haven’t forgotten something,

that being said i tried to the best of my ability, and also big disclaimer: some of my favorite shows are just straight up not on this list. determining my favorite shows overall would be MUCH different than determining my favorite individual, stand alone episodes of something. and with that being said...

(also i gave up trying to number-rank them. they are maybe like, ROUGHLY ranked, but i could flip flop a lot of them especially towards the middle so like, whatever)

lost - “the constant”

there are so many good, defining episodes of lost that it was kind of hard to pick one but... for me this was a good example i could think of that summed up the show at the height of like. how weird it could be and how emotional it could be. it also may be one of the best stand-alone episodes of the show objectively, i think. for those who are familiar but can’t remember, this is the one where desmond is kind of jumping around through time and the one with That phone call between him and penny at the end (which frankly should earn it a spot on this list by itself). okay i rewatched that and made myself cry so we’re off to a great fucking start!

hannibal - “mizumono”

mizumono is honestly one of the most like... perfect culminations of disaster i’ve ever seen. and i mean that in a good way!, but really, it brings seasons worth of tension to a head with near-flawless execution, it’s one of the most beautifully and artistically shot episodes of an already beautiful and artistic show, and the last fifteen minutes are like... kind of beyond description. i honestly have yet to see a season finale that’s as brutal to like, its ENTIRE MAIN CAST, and because of the impact it had at the time i felt like i had to put it on here. 

true detective - “form and void”

the first season of true detective as a whole was honestly incredibly influential to like... the modern tv landscape we have today and how highly regarded television as a whole has become. it’s really important and really worth seeing. the finale, “form and void”, is if i recall correctly perhaps a little divisive because of how the mystery ultimately ended up being solved (i won’t give spoilers) but it was beautiful and surreal and creepy and for me, just the right amount of satisfying. actually for me, i’m not gonna lie, it was... and still is, very important to me personally. specifically in regards to the culmination of rust cohle’s character arc and the hopeful, compassionate note it ended on. rust was essentially a deconstruction of the “bitter edgy nihilistic main character” trope, much of his characterization was about how that mentality just ate away at him, but he found this essential moment of peace in the end that just... still really stays with me.

alias - “pilot”

i had to include this because alias has, literally my favorite pilot episode to date. in general alias has a few episodes i considered putting on this list (the finale of season 2 also being one for... Reasons) but i just had to go with this one because it’s a fucking pilot. in the television industry, pilots are notoriously difficult to get right. there’s so much establishment and exposition that needs to happen all while making sure you hook your audience that it can be... really tough to pace it correctly, and i have never seen anyone fucking nail it like alias did. of everything i’ve put on this list i think this is probably the episode i’ve watched the most times. sydney bristow in that bright red wig. still iconic.

westworld - “the bicameral mind”

westworld season 1 almost felt like it could have... ended with that finale, period. i mean naturally it did not, but in some ways if you weren’t so attached to the characters and didn’t want to see how they’d evolve, you almost wouldn’t NEED more than the bleak (well, for humanity), inevitable note it ends on. there are so many gratifying answers to the questions the season spun, so much emotional catharsis and satisfaction in dolores’ awakening and self-realization and maeve making her first real, free choice in returning to the park... idk it’s a lot. and it’s executed wonderfully. there are tons of moments that never lose their impact no matter how many times i revisit them. not much more to say than that.

 buffy the vampire slayer - “restless”

possibly a controversial choice even among buffy fans? i remember at least at the time people were mad that such an unconventional episode was used to top off season 4. but let’s be real, season 4′s overarching plot was, not that great. for me, i never minded that it tied up early and that we had something really... different for the finale.

it also helps that i’m a huge sucker for like, surrealism, character studies, symbolism and significant imagery, foreshadowing, that kind of thing, and this episode is thick with ALL of that stuff. look i hate joss whedon but this was him at his best. restless is still... one of the most haunting things i’ve ever watched, and such a bold choice, and people are still dissecting it today and i’m like, “how did they manage to foreshadow some of this stuff this intricately this early in the show’s run’. i could probably go back and rewatch it easily even though i haven’t really delved into buffy in forever. “once more with feeling” also gets an honorable mention to being the best musical episode of a show to date.

black mirror - “nosedive”

okay i was really tempted to put uss callister on this list because i enjoyed that so immensely, it’s one of my favorite things ever, but uss callister is so... almost movie-like that it almost feels unfair to put it on this list with more traditionally structured television episodes. so apart from that, i have this inexplicable fucking soft spot for nosedive. i think about it all the time. it’s the black mirror episode i’ve rewatched the most. i’m not even sure if i can articulate why i love it so much except that... well, firstly it is another character study (with bryce dallas howard giving a wonderful and moving and vaguely unhinged performance), but also like. i think it is perhaps one of the most insightful episodes of black mirror overall. the point isn’t to be... bleak, necessarily, but its message is important. it’s less about ~the dangers of social media~ i think and more about how people relate to one another (or don’t, and how painful it can feel to not really emote or connect or find sincerity) and just, the social media app being a vehicle for that. stories about emotional suppression and catharsis always hit me hard. 

oh and since black mirror is an anthology series with all standalone episodes, you can watch this even if you’ve never dabbled in the show before! go see it if you haven’t!!

grey’s anatomy - “losing my religion”

so i knew i wanted to put a grey’s anatomy episode on this list but i wasn’t really sure... how to go about picking just one, because grey’s has so many iconic individual episodes that have really. permeated television culture at this point. i don’t know, how do you just pick one? but i went with losing my religion because 1) i do genuinely feel that it contains some of the shows best and most poignant and memorable to date, i mean, even like 13 years later people remember the culmination of the denny storyline,  and 2) i distinctly remember this being the point when i was watching the show for the first time that i really... consciously, vividly, felt myself falling in love with it and appreciating it for all that it was.this is really the point where you can’t write off grey’s anatomy as a one-dimensional quirky medical drama anymore no matter how hard you try. so it’s on here for nostalgic reasons too

also, this was the episode that launched “chasing cars” as the song that reduces literally everyone to tears, so there’s that,

ahs asylum - “madness ends”

for all the shit i’ll give ryan murphy, i truly still believe that ahs asylum was his masterpiece. it is perhaps the most sincere and tender and brutally real i’ve ever seen his work get. and madness ends will always be... one of my favorite season finales ever, and something i’ll always remember so fondly and emotionally. it also, and maybe this is an unconventional opinion, but it is also the most hopeful the show has ever felt to me. the most forgiving, the most kind. the closure it grants lana, kit, and jude, and even MARY EUNICE (wait was this the episode she died in? i think. i don’t remember) was just... i don’t know if you can get more satisfying than that. jessica lange’s performance in this episode specifically, and the ending of jude’s story, is something that’ll stay with me forever (there’s a reason that i consider jude to be one of my favorite characters, like, ever). i actually haven’t rewatched it in full, let alone this specific episode in so long but... yeah that shit stays with you

and last but incontestably not least... 

the leftovers - “international assassin” or “certified”

guess what! for the leftovers, i actually COULDN’T pick just one! and if there’s any show on this list that deserves two episodes... well,

“international assassin” is a lot of people’s favorite episode, from what i understand. at least, its usually the critics’ favorite episode. and it wins a lot of points with me for the same reasons “restless” does (it’s basically another instance of like, the show taking a break to do a completely different kind of surrealist episode) and it marked the first time the show really like. completely abandoned all pretense of reality and went all-out mysticism. and it fucking worked. everything about this episode is a masterpiece. to give you a basic premise if you’re not familiar, basically. the main character, kevin, has spent the entire season behind haunted by... either a ghost or a hallucination (you’re not sure at that point as an audience member, but kevin is leaning towards ghost) and is told by someone that in order to get rid of her. he essentially has to die, go to purgatory, and confront her. the end result is... something you couldn’t even imagine and i don’t think i could fully put into words, but as most things in the leftovers are, it ends up being startlingly insightful and compassionate and is 100% guaranteed to make you feel very deeply for a character that most people hated up until that point

“certified” isn’t as much as a standout but for me it is one of the most powerful episodes in an already incredibly powerful show. it’s essentially devoted to giving closure to one of the characters (who happened to be one of my favorites) and her longstanding pain and her struggles with being tied to realism in this world where you increasingly need to believe in something to survive. it’s hard to give much context beyond that but it is heartbreaking and wonderfully performed and i actually haven’t been able to revisit it many times since because it affected me so much

idk i could really put every episode of the leftovers on here, honestly. it is incredibly special.

[letsbitchyfestcollection]

You were a sixteen year-old high school student in Oklahoma when you wrote The Outsiders. Where did you get the idea for the story? I was actually fifteen when I first began it. It was the year I was sixteen and a junior in high school that I did the majority of the work (that year I made a D in creative writing). One day a friend of mine was walking home from school and these "nice" kids jumped out of a car and beat him up because they didn't like his being a greaser. This made me mad and I just went home and started pounding out a story about this boy who was beaten up while he was walking home from the movies--the beginning of The Outsiders. I was just something to let off steam. I didn't have any grand design. I just sat down and started writing it. I look back and I think it was totally written in my subconscious or something. S.E Hinton considering that nice kids usually not go around beating people up in real life so either your so called freind must of done samething that pissed of these so called nice kids and they attcaked your freind usually nice decent children don't just go around beating strangers up there must be more to this story about your freind being attcaked. Did you even witness this attcak or did you hear it as gossip around high school so without you being a witness to the events you don't know if your freind hasn't embellished facts maybe do same research before you strat writing a novel instead of just running of with your emotions. So was there a real-life Ponyboy? A real Johnny? Ponyboy's gang was inspired by a true-life gang, the members of which were very dear to me. Later, all the gang members I hung out with were sure they were in the book--but they aren't. I guess it's because these characters are really kind of universal without losing their individuality. Firstly a real greaser gangs wouldn't allow a girl to hang with them unless they were part of the gang themselves but maybe you got inspired by real greaser gangs just by observing them around the community so you base your charcters on real gresers but no of these real greasers are in the book so basically you as a writer could have made shit up and do you really thing real greasers would have been impressed with the way you were writing about them being cry babies and hugging one another and being melodramatic they properly laughed at you for writing them like this did you show your so called greasers freinds your writing i bet you didn't. How did you turn that inspiration for a story into such memorable characters? When I write, an interesting transformation takes place. I go from thinking about my narrator to being him. A lot of Ponyboy's thoughts are my thoughts. He's probably the closest I've come to putting myself into a character. He has a lot of freedom, true-blue friends, people he loves and who love him; the things that are important to him are the things that are important to me. I think Ponyboy and Soda and Darry come out better than the rest of them because they have their love for one another. So basically what your saying is that ponyboy is a self insert of yourself so you basically created a mary sue with your lead character well tell us samething we don't know boys are usually will have farmore freedom becouse it socially expectable unlike us girls who have to be protected from the world and we don't have as much freedom I should now I have an older brother who had way more free then me becouse he's 16 years old them myself and i was so caged in most of the time the backyard was my playground becouse it was safer then the park so you basically self inserted what you value instead of inserting samething diffrent in ponyboy like valuesin justice/freedom/honesty/intrgrity/ freedom of speech etc these far better values for teens to work towrads then I have amazing freinds sametimes your so called frinds are that amazing and can be increibly toxic. What were you like as a teenager? Were you a Greaser; a Soc? I was a tomboy--I played football, my close friends were guys. Fortunately, I was born without the need-to-belong gene, the gene that says you have to be in a little group to feel secure. I never wanted to be classified as anything, nor did I ever join anything for fear of losing my individuality. I didn't even realize that these guys, who were my good friends, were greasers until one day we were walking down the street and some guys came and yelled, "Greaser!" It's funny to look back at people you've know your whole life, to suddenly see them as everyone else sees them, with their slicked-back hair and cigarettes hanging out of their mouths and their black leather jackets, and respond, "My God, they're hoods." You knew them and they're not hoods, but they just look like hoods. I had friends on the rich side of town, too, and saw that they had their share of problems, also. so basically you were a loner and anti social and didn't want to get invloved in after school activities maybe becouse you didn't have any freinds. Nobody is born with a gene for belonging it the way your socalized within society/family/school etc didn't your mum drag you out of the bedroom and tell you you were going to be part of the family and you even said in an interview that your mother was abusive towards you maybe becouse you were anti social. And bullcrap you didn't know they were greasers. Did you really have freinds on the rich side of town even though you were a loner. I can tell you being at school with children who are assholes and i had toput up with there shit 5 days a week was enough i didn't want to hang out with these children after school as well or on the weekend or during school break either which was rather peaceful. How did you pursue getting The Outsiders published? When I wrote it I hadn't thought of getting it published. But at school one day I mentioned to a friend that I wrote, and her mother happened to write children's books. I gave her a copy of The Outsiders, and this woman showed it to a friend who had a New York agent. The agent liked it and sold it to the second publisher who read it. She has been my agent ever since. I received the contract from the publisher on graduation day! Well it seems like the novel didn't see an editor that why same of it doesn't sound beliverable and not providing any consequnces with your charcters it doesn't work like this in the real world. Firstly Ponyboy spiting at another person in same states it considered assult on a person then david drowning ponyboy he wouldn't have been charged under the law this is how stupid johnny is instead off holding bob off with the swith he had and try and get david to let pony go johnny had enough criminal motive enough to go after bob after bob attcaked him 4 months earlier if he had lived that would have been enough to convict the kid on murder instead of manslaughter becouse there is enough intent to cause injury or death. dally harbouring futatives running away from the law hrassing girls he would have been charged along with them and ponyboy wouldn't have gone to a boys home he would have been charged and been put in prison instead teenagers who have wagged school have been placed in jail man i wish authors who want to write about real life issues would go watch reasl documetries about teens in prison and see what they did to land up in there it doesn't take a lot to get into trouble and fuck your life up. What made you want to become a writer? The major influence on my writing has been my reading. When I was young, I read everything, including cereal boxes and coffee labels. Reading taught me sentence structure, paragraphing, how to build a chapter. Strangely enough, it never taught me spelling. I have always loved to write, almost as much as I love to read. I began goofing around with a typewriter when I was about twelve. I've always written about things that interest me, so my first years of writing (grades three through ten), I wrote about cowboys and horses. I wanted to be a cowboy and have a horse. Writing is easy for me because I never begain to write unless I have something to say. I'm a character writer. Some writers are plot writers...I have to begin with people. I always knew my characters, exactly what they look like, their birthdays, what they like for breakfast. It doesn't matter if these things appear in the book. I still have to know. I get ideas for characters from real people, but overall they are fictional; my characters exist only in my head. What books and authors inspire and influence you? Well, as an adult, I can pick out a lot of authors who have influenced me. My favorite authors are Jane Austen, Mary Renault, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Shirley Jackson. My favorite books are The Haunting of Hill House, Fire from Heaven, Emma, and Tender Is the Night. I like Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s novels, but not his short stories, and the other way around for J.D. Salinger. But people want to know your childhood influences, and I'll have to say just books in general. I loved to read, and as soon as I learned how I was reading everything I could get my hands on. I was a horse nut, and Peanuts the Pony was the first book I ever checked out of the library. I still remember that book. The act of reading was so pleasurable for me. For an introverted kid, it's a means of communication, because you interact with the author even if you aren't sitting there conversing with her. Why do you use your initials instead of your full name? My publisher was afraid that the reviewers would assume a girl couldn't write a book like The Outsiders. Later, when my books became popular, I found I liked the privacy of having a "public" name and a private one, so it has worked out fine. Why didn;t you just go with your name becouse people are assumping a male wrote this but they read the novel and they can tell that a chick wrote it instead I was reading sweet valley high and baby sitters club way before the outsiders and these novels were flying of the selve with teens becouse they could relate to them. When it was first published, the realism of The Outsiders shocked a lot of reviewers, but readers embraced the book. Did that surprise you? No, I was pleased that people were shocked when The Outsiders came out. One of my reasons for writing it was that I wanted something realistic to be written about teenagers. At that time realistic teenage fiction didn't exist. If you didn't want to read Mary Jane Goes to the Prom and you were through with horse books, there was nothing to read. I just wanted to write something that dealt with what I saw kids really doing. Why do you think the book has remained so popular through the years? Every teenager feels that adults have no idea what's going on. That's exactly the way I felt when I wrote The Outsiders. Even today, the concept of the in-group and the out-group remains the same. The kids say, "Okay, this is like the Preppies and the Punks," or whatever they call themselves. The uniforms change, and the names of the groups change, but kids really grasp how similar their situations are to Ponyboy's. Some portions were quoted from "The Outsiders Conference & Readers Meet Author" from University of Utah's Top of the News, November 1968; "S.E. Hinton:On Writing and Tex" in Notes from Delacorte Press, Winter 1979/Spring 1980; "S.E. Hinton on Becoming a Writer" from teachers@random; "The Insider Outsider" in Interview, July 1999; and "Autobiographical Sketch" from the Educational Paperback Association. Powered by

[saecris]

HEADCANON DUMP #7

a majority of these headcanons were written either pre or post volume three. so a lot of them have been debunked by canon info, but i wanted to save my speculations.

sixty one accommodate story about ren’s parents backing and participating in the oniyuri project. this is where they were planning to elope. you can still incorporate parts of the butterfly lovers in their story. because ren did not recognise oniyuri and has only heard of it, we can assume he’s never been there. this was just a plan that his parents discussed with him in secret. might have to spectate about ren possibly being from mistral. nora did not recognise the story. spectating about a kind of special grimm associated with this part of mistral. edit: looks like it was a nuckelavee edit: it is now after volume four, and a lot of the information has been rendered redundant. however: i. ren’s parent’s plans to elope to oniyuri has now been incorporated into his backstory. ii. they did invest a lot of time and money into the project, most of the money having come from what zhilan was saving.

sixty two include ren’s sensory abilities into the mana manipulation headcanon, about how he can sense not only his own but the aura of other individuals. seen in rwby volume four episode six: tipping point, able to sense danger in the form of tyrian approaching rnjr at incredible speeds. this kind of sensory ability was seen right before his fight with the king taijitus, all the way in volume one episode six: the emerald forest. but also write down your new headcanon involving his semblance having something to do with empathy, and his ability to sense auras, manipulating his own emotions as well as others, even at a distance. edit: ren’s semblance is solely empathy until that headcanon is also debunked.

sixty three the lunar cult, often referred to as ‶the lunar kingdom‶ is the source of a major religion practiced in the area of mistral surrounding kuroyuri, oniyuri, and shion. the cult itself protects a white haired witch with as of yet undeterminable powers, but the mountain in which they reside is considered haunted, forbidden, dangerous. there is no record of outsiders venturing in and coming out alive. the lunar religion celebrates the moon goddess, as well as the belief that human kind descended from the moon men. it’s effects on the surrounding region include grand festivals for the winter solstice to celebrate the longest night of the year. mistral is heavily in tune with nature, so referring to your sweetheart as some kind of natural element is common, ie. sky and sea, moon and stars.

sixty four prior to moving to kuroyuri ren lived in a compound with all the other members of the lie family, a network of beautiful traditional houses of both large and small stature, interconnected with bridges, walkways, gorgeous gardens, made of incredibly elaborate architecture. the property itself was miles long and covered a mountain range. the entrance of it was around a twenty minute walk from kuroyuri. when his family was attacked by bandits three years prior to the start of the series, a lot of the of compound burned down. lie cuifen (ren’s grandmother) who had previously not been very involved in the business transactions of their family, managed to reel in a lot of the investments they’d lost, and still remains incredibly wealthy to this day. ren’s mentor, feng (oc based on mushu lore), takes in students from time to time and trains them in the lie compound, which is being rebuilt. he has built a reputation of being an extremely selective but highly successful teacher, with all of his students passing their combat academy entrance exams with flying colours.

sixty five ren has good leadership qualifications, but his characteristics fall more into the ‘unwilling protagonist’ spectrum than anything noteworthy. i’m not that deluded in my admiration to currently admit that ren and nora’s roles in the show are anything more than minimal (ren’s background story functions more as a case study than anything else). this is more of a conclusion i’ve come to when speculating on traits commonly shown in mulan’s case. not necessarily in disney’s mulan, but most other versions of the story including the original ballad, she does end up assuming a commander’s position in the army after a few years of dedication. ren is shown to have an adaptive and versatile fighting style, using the elements around him in order to gain the advantage (this has even extended to using other character’s weapons as of volume four.) he’s also incredibly observant, so there isn’t any reason he wouldn’t be able to use another character’s abilities to further their lead. he’s good with organisation, tactics, strategy, and also has a strong sense of duty. he has very good instincts; holding jaune back from fighting tyrian, understanding the right time to strike, knowing what they need to do in order to survive. what i believe makes him a better follower than a leader in his team’s case is linked to his personality. ren is not personable, and the way he comes across in the beginning makes it seem like he views others more as tools than people. he does care for his teammates, but his instinct is to protect himself first, to survive. he works better on his own. he can follow orders to a t, and oftentimes needs instructions to function so he is at his most useful as a subordinate under someone he trusts.

sixty six ren is hypocritical. mostly he is live, and let live, but he will chastise those close to him about taking care of themselves and not getting hurt, but he will indulge in some of the most self destructive behaviour like alientating himself and smoking. during beacon days he constantly nagged nora and jaune about being healthy but he was constantly drinking soda, coffee, and energy drinks to keep himself awake. when he is a professional huntsman, while he understands that getting hurt is inevitable, he will ask his loved ones to put themselves above his own welfare, and then go behind their backs and sacrifice himself if he can. it’s honestly infuriating.

sixty seven ren’s noticeable improvement with physical affection was, of course, largely due to beacon’s influence. my characterisation has a lot of his personable attributes increase because of his interactions at beacon. my ren’s personal space issues are rooted deeply in the symbolism of connection. he is deathly afraid of someone getting close enough to him to hurt him when they betray him or when they inevitably leave, even if it’s through no fault of their own. surrendering to his occasional want to be touched means that he is building up some kind of relationship and he’s deathly afraid of that. he also just doesn’t like being touched unless absolutely necessary; he likes being aware about what people around him are doing, and being touched by people he doesn’t want to brings up memories he’d rather not bring up again. throughout the entirety of beacon ren has show distain for being touched, in the show and in rwby chibi as well. any light hearted pounce he’s seen to be visibly shocked by ( although i have noticed that the two times jaune’s touched him, ren has responded appropriately and in kind. the only other person he’s reacted to similarly was nora. ) if ren initiates physical touch with you, it means that he’s either treating some kind of wound for you, or you’re special to him. he touches mostly out of habit, and to reassure himself that you’re actually real.

sixty eight some characterisation notes that run alongside ren’s association with he chinese folklore god nezha are, firstly that nezha is a protection deity. ren is a huntsman, and it is inherently coded into their profession to protect those who cannot protect themselves. parts of the lore that are applicable to ren are some familiar thematics, which i can only guess were taken into consideration when ren was made ( just from the wind and fire blades thing ? that just seems like a big coincidence that wind and fire disks are nezha’s preferred weapon and ren’s preferred dust cartridges. ) there’s also the the theme that ren had to grow up far too quickly, while nezha was born into a fully grown boy already, then forced to wage war. the storms left in the wake of nezha’s sacrifice i associate with li’s sacrifice in kuroyuri, some of those being metaphorical and remaining in ren’s mind. then there is the continuous resurgence of being reborn, rebirth, reincarnation through the lotus themes, which appear repeatedly through my characterisation.

sixty nine it’s sort of a given why now, but ren hates horses. he hates the sound they make, and he hates anything similar to the nightmarish screams of the nuckelavee. hearing sound effects similar used to induce a state of panic but now only serves to trigger an extremely bad mood which won’t disperse for the rest of the day.

seventy i was thinking about ren’s capability to do single handstand pushups in chibi. basically all the feats that ren was capable of in rwby chibi, episode nine: “ren plays tag”. i couldn’t help but remember that he performed a similar movement in the season finale of volume four. in my other extended combat analysis of ren’s fighting style all evidence i gathered alluded to his legs being stronger, after all, ren’s agility has always been impeccable: he is seen to be able to reach incredibly high tree tops on single jumps alone, jumps that ruby and nora needed mechanised assistance to reach. but i neglected to talk about ren’s arm strength. ren utilises palm strikes, in grimm eclipse in succession, when attacking which is said to produce more energy than a regular punch with far less injury to the striker’s hand. the shock absorption required when this attack is being amplified with raw aura ( enough raw aura to burst open a king taijitu’s head ) must be immense. his main striking force when it comes to his regular slashing style also relies on the speed and strength of blade control, especially considering he does the most damage with the blades ( and very minimal damage with his bullets. ) there’s also the fact that he held back the taitiju’s fangs with his arms, the force field generated by aura would have helped when it came to stopping the fangs from sinking into him, but that he wasn’t blown away by a two tonne snake was also impressive. he held back the snake for a significant amount of time too, almost seven seconds on screen, possibly longer. i do know that he’s not getting fuckin’ k.o.’d during fights anymore, so he’s definitely gotten stronger, which is what i’m all about. okay, but that elegant flip thing he did at the beginning of volume four, chapter twelve: no safe haven is everything. not only was it a perfectly executed one handed handstand with a spiral flip, but he did it while armed as well. this boy is incredible. that kind of movement requires a lot of strength, and i’m finding that that���s just ren’s style, it’s flamboyant and beautiful, a lot of grace in power. i can’t even remember if there was a point to this hc anymore, i just wanted to talk about how some things in chibi are being alluded to in the show. and also there were a bunch of cretinous annoyances prior to volume three speaking about how weak ren is, and let me tell you, training next to him would give you so many confidence issues man. this boy is strong. not only that but his fighting prowess is spread out in multiple different ways. he has one of the most diverse fighting styles in rwby so shut the fuck up.

[travelsbeyondbehind]

Sarajevo is a rich mix of faiths and cultures with its citizens at the heart of so much of 20th century history including  the events which to World War 1, the fall of communism, the 1984 Olympics and the wars of the 1990s.  Because of this, I’ve been planning a trip to Sarajevo for about 6 years.  So, as a reward for finishing my PhD, my partner and I embarked on a road trip through Bosnia & Herzegovina, Montenegro and Croatia.  As with many holidays nowadays, the starting point for planning was the internet and researching other people’s experiences.  Google didn’t produce many guides for a road trip so here’s our itinerary.

Oysters & Chardonnay in Istanbul

Day 1: To Sarajevo: Manchester to Sarajevo: 2 Flights, airport to city centre 10km/30min drive.  Highlight: Oysters at Istanbul Airport

One of the first decisions UK travellers have to take is how to get to Sarajevo from the UK.  With no direct flights to Sarajevo, the options are routing via Vienna or, as we did, via Istanbul.  We broke the 12 hour journey with Oysters and Turkish Chardonnay at Istanbul airport which brought a tad of class to an otherwise uneventful journey.

The road in to central Sarajevo from the airport takes you down sniper alley where bullets came down on locals from the mountains during the city’s siege in the 1990s.  You also pass high rise blocks built for the 1984 Olympics, the Bosnia & Herzegovina parliament and then the Miljacka river with its famous bridges.

That evening, we walked around the centre encountering for the first time its mosques, coffee shops and the odd hipster bar – the rich mix of culture and history was evident from the outset.

Day 2: Sarajevo: City of Contrasts:  Sarajevo: No travel.  Highlight: Gallery 11/07/95

I opened the curtains to find a view that summarised much of what I had read about Sarajevo: a Mosque & church, mountains & water, ruins & men repairing a river bank. This is a city being (re)built around its multiple faiths, rich & beautiful natural resources and its industrious people.

Mountains &; River, Mosque & Church in Sarajevo

Sarajevo from Yellow Bastion

The day was spent exploring the city:

The East side with its lower wooden buildings, bazaars and mosques.  The West side with its stone, larger, almost Austrian buildings and churches.  Throughout, bullet marks and Sarajevo roses where mortar craters have been filled with red resin.

Gallery 11/07/95 which tells the story of Srebrenica massacre through photographs and a powerful audio tour (extra but well worth it).  At the end there was also a moving film about the Sarajevo siege which depicted children of all backgrounds playing together in a burnt out car even as bombs fell.  We both teared up.

Gazi Husrev-beg Mosque with its calm courtyard, simply decorated building and welcoming people.

The Yellow Bastion with its dramatic view over the city.  It’s reached by walking through Muslim Graveyards from the siege years when any parkland had to be taken over in order to bury the dead.

That evening, we discovered some of the local haunts: on the eastern side we enjoyed skater shop cum craft ale bar Board Room (1 Đulagina čikma) whilst in the west, the bar with the balloons (Ort at Sime Milutinovića Sarajlije 15) was a buzzing place to spend a couple of hours.

Day 3: Into the Mountains:  Sarajevo to Šćepan Polje (Montenegro border) via Olympic Bobsleigh & Tjentište, 157km/3hr30min drive.  Highlight: Mountain Roads / Beers overlooking Tara Canyon

Sarajevo Olympic Bobsleigh Track

Communist war memorial at Tjentiste

We left the city today and headed for the mountains on roads which seemed almost vertical for the first few miles.  We visited two concrete ruins: firstly the remains of the Olympic Bobsleigh track outside Sarajevo.  Then, after a windy drive in to the mountains the memorial at Tjentiste which remembers a military success by Tito in World War II.

Tara Canyon

The drive then became rougher with the road in pretty poor condition and (occasionally) filled with animals.  Eventually, we reached the border and crossed in to Montenegro.  A few metres later was our accommodation; sat on the banks of the upper Tara Canyon we fed on the views – as well as the local beers and food.

  Day 4: Canyons & Mountains: Šćepan Poljeto to Žabljak via Piva Canyon, Durmitor national park, Tara Gorge & Black Lake, 150km/3hr30min drive.  Highlight: Drive through Piva Canyon & Durmitor national park

Within minutes of leaving our accommodation we found ourselves in a spectacular canyon with cliffs, tunnels and running water.  We then headed in to the mountains and the Durmitor national park: beautiful valleys and awe-inspiring rock formations.  This two hour drive remains one of the highlights of the trip.

Piva River

Durmitor national park

Black Lake

The afternoon was filled with a zip line across the Tara Canyon (impressive if not that much of an adrenaline rush), a pleasant walk around the beautiful Black Lake and a visit to some stecci (ancient tomb stones).  The day ended in a remote cottage with a log fire, local wine and a view out across the valley.

Kotor Bay from Mausoleum of Petar II

Day 5: To the Coast:  Žabljak to Kotor via Locven Park, 203km/3hr30min drive.  Highlight: Mausoleum.  

We spent the day driving from North to South Montenegro, enjoying the autumnal colours, particularly in Lovcen National Park.  We stopped at the Mausoleum of Petar II Petrovic-Njegos which offered our first views of Kotor bay below.  We then took the Kotor Serpentine in to the town (ignore Googlemaps which tries to route you via Budvar!) which provided more views of the mountains and sea below.

Kotor was a little disappointing during the daylight hours but in the evening when the cruise ship crowds had left and the light made the unkempt parts seem a little romantic, we warmed to the place.  And the fine local wines helped a little, too.

Day 6: Mountains & Lakes:  Kotor to Dubrovnik via Herceg Novi & Perast, 92km/2hr drive.  Highlight: Perast / wine & cheese in Dubrovnik.  

Kotor Bay at Perast

Dubrovnik from above

Another day, another set of astonishing views.  Today we circled the lakes near Kotor and stopped to admire the views.  Perast is a lovely little town and worth some time; Herceg Novi is less so and could have been skipped.  We then crossed the border and headed to Dubrovnik; the coastal border between Montenegro and Croatia is one of the busier crossings so took a little time.  Very pretty but now very discovered with cruise ships & coaches filling the town as well as increasing the prices.  But we had two very pleasant moments: drinking Croatian fizz high above the city near the cable car station.  And sampling local wines and meets/cheeses in a little bar in town (Wine bar razonoda, Ul. od Puča 1).  Classy ways to pass time in a classy city.

Day 7: Beauty & Hurt:  Dubrovnik to Mostar via Kravica waterfalls &  Blagaj, 212km/3hr45min drive.  Highlights: Waterfalls / Bosniak side of Mostar.  

We headed north along the coast from Dubrovnik, picking up the A1 motorway to head in to Bosnia.  First stop, Kravica waterfalls which are spectacular and tranquil.  We crossed over to the other bank which was nearly deserted and offered us some time to read and relax.  From here we headed to tranquil Blagaj with its Tekija (monestry) and glowing water.

Kravica waterfalls

Mostar at sunset

We ended the day in Mostar: a fine example of Ottoman architecture.  The very centre has been rebuilt sensitively and is particularly good in evening when crowds left. The suburbs are growing and seemingly wealthier than when I visited 5 years ago.  But 25 years after war, destruction from bombing and snipers is still clear on Bosniak side just a road away from the famous bridge; possibly for legal reasons, certainly financial ones, the rebuilding has not started here.  And yet the church can afford to build a huge tower to show their presence and wealth. Reconciliation is clearly still ongoing.

Day 8: 1984 Revisited: Sarajevo via Konjic, Olympic Sky Jumps, Hotel Igman & Tunnel Museum, 165km/3hr drive.  Highlights: Ski Jumps & Hotel Igman.  

Konjic

We travelled deeper in to Bosnia, heading back to Sarajevo.  We stopped in the town of Konjic to admire another fine Ottoman bridge (rebuilt with funds from Turkey) but also spotted the remains of bombed mosques.  We then headed to the mountains behind Sarajevo to visit two 1984 Olympic sites which were then damaged 8 years later in the war. First, sky jumps and the medallists’ podium along with a chair lift, painted in Olympic colours, which happened to be working that day.  It felt a little unsteady but offered brilliant views of the country side.  There were still UN labels on some of the buildings from when they had been used in the war.   A mile or so down the road is the former Hotel Igman: a luxury Olympic hotel turned military HQ in under 10 years. Now a heartbreaking ruin.

Mount Igman: Ski Jumps & Lifts

Mount Igman: Hotel/Military HQ

We drove in to Sarajevo conscious of the pains which had been inflicted on the city.  We stopped at the Tunnel Museum which shows how the city tried to survive (and has a good audio guide using your own mobile – take your headphone).  We ended the day with drinks in the centre of this pretty city where the new businesses are an indication it is moving forward whilst remembering its past.

Day 9: Istanbul – Eventually: Sarajevo to Istanbul, city centre to airport 10km/30min drive, 1 flight.  Highlight: Discovering bars in streets around Mumhane Cd.  

Gelata

Today was meant to be a simple two hour flight and in central Sarajevo it was beautifully sunny.  But by the time we reached the airport, fog had set in and the flight was delayed by 3 hours.  On arrival in to Istanbul, we took a taxi in to the centre and explored on foot: firstly crossing the Golden Horn, the streets around Gelata and ending by discovering some trendy, hipster bars on Mumhane Cd.  It may have been a Tuesday night but it was buzzing like a Friday night in London.

Day 10: Mosques & Islam:  Istanbul: no travel.  Highlight: Watching worship at Blue & Suleymaniye Mosques.  

Day 10 was spent vising three impressive Mosques: firstly the huge Aya Sofia with its history as church, Mosque and national museum; watching people pray beneath the Blue Mosque’s colourful tiles; being welcomed in the peaceful Suleymaniye Mosque.  We briefly visited the Basilica Cistern which is an intriguing site.  We ended the day shopping in the Grand Bazaar before exploring the back streets of Istanbul: full of atmosphere with people talking, shopping, working & praying.

Aya Sofia

Blue Mosque

Hamami

Day 11: Happy Ending?  Istanbul: no travel.  Highlight: Hamami.  

An easy day with a trip on the Bosphorus using the local ferry for a 90 minute cruise followed by Mackerel sandwiches on the quay front.  And then a relaxing scrub in a Hamami with tea and soap leaving me clean for a final night in Istanbul.  We ate at Neolokal, in the SALT Galata building, with modern takes on traditional Turkish dishes and a good wine list topped off with a great view over the Golden Horn.

Day 12: Home Time:  Istanbul to Manchester: 1 flight. Highlight: making the plane! 

We took the tram out to the airport to see a little of the city.  It’s worth noting that the Istanbul tram and metro system has a similar system to London’s Oyster Card but that you can scan it multiple times so you only need one for a couple, passing the card back for the next person to use.  The metro was not a fast journey and security is tight to get in to the airport with baggage searched before being allowed to check-in and passports being checked 7 times before boarding the plane.  We made it with a few minutes to spare and home in a matter of ours.

Final Thoughts:  It was an excellent trip with natural beauty, cultural diversity and undiscovered gems.    The highlights remain as Sarajevo with its history and the stunning Piva Canyon & Durmitor national park.

12 days, 4 countries, 13 border posts, over 1000km driven, 4 flights, 1000 photos, 1 excellent travel companion: 1 brilliant road trip.

Map: https://goo.gl/maps/x9upKBnAAd12

  A 12 day itinerary from Sarajevo taking you to the best of the Balkans plus time in Istanbul. Sarajevo is a rich mix of faiths and cultures with its citizens at the heart of so much of 20th century history including  the events which to World War 1, the fall of communism, the 1984 Olympics and the wars of the 1990s.