#((asian parents are always a piece of work))

[roscvcins]

bein an adult is sometimes feelin like i need to move the fuck out again :/

[seireiteihellbutterfly]

Secure in your Lap

ft Nanami Kento

a/n: I can't believe I finally wrote thisI So this was inspired by this ask from @sitarawrites. It was supposed to be a cute fluffy fic, but somehow devolved into this angsty piece, so idk. Although I wrote this fic with a desi/asian reader in mind, I think anyone with a difficult relationship with their parents can relate to this, and I hope it comes across that way.

Rating: 13+, nothing explicit or sexual

Warnings: difficult family dynamics, mentions of familial trauma, guilt, manipulation

Pairing: Nanami Kento x female reader

Summary: A phone call from reader's mother results in her remembering all the reasons she's grateful for her now fiance.

Word Count: 2343

Nanami masterlist

It’s never a good day when your mother calls. Sometimes you wonder why you put up with it and allow her to test your boundaries, despite setting a schedule that you would not be calling her except for Tuesday and Friday nights.

Even the hour spent on those nights are tedious at best. They never make you feel better; it's all for her. It makes her feel better. And despite the fact that you have graciously made this time for her, she never seems to appreciate it. In fact, most of these conversations are one-sided. You’ll have your headphones in, while she chatters away, as you try to focus on other tasks, like folding laundry, or tidying up the general clutter that always accumulates in the living room, throwing in the occasional ‘uhm hm’ every few minutes so that she knows you’re still on the line.

You’ve learned to tune out most of the conversation because very little of it is ever relevant to you. Unless you hear a few key words such as ‘dad’ or ‘finances’ or ‘house’ you don’t really pay attention to the conversation at all. Because you know how most of these conversations go. They start with her talking about her day, complaining about her job. Then she complains about your dad, despite knowing you’ve heard it all before. Then it devolves into blaming other people for circumstances she’s in right now based on events that happened long ago. 

When all of these topics are exhausted, she gets to her juiciest arsenal; you. Oh, the things she has to say about you, about how you were such a wonderful child, sweet and obedient and how you suddenly became this rough woman who she doesn’t know how to talk to anymore. Or how you’ve stopped visiting of late, that you’re never home for the holidays, and that she blames your boyfriend for this. Then it’s criticism of your life choices, starting with how you moved in with your boyfriend while unmarried, the fact that he’s not from the same ethnic background as you, or the fact that she blames your ‘attitude’ on him because he defends you from her each time. 

Today it was about how you could do so much better than him, and you finally snap. 

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

There’s a moment of silence, then with uncontained glee, she says, “Oh, I’m sorry. Well relationships sometimes don’t work out, it’s ok-”

“Because he asked me to marry him.” You finish bluntly, cutting her off. “He’s not my boyfriend anymore because he’s my fiance.” You wait for the bomb to drop.

“Oh.” Your mother’s voice sounds tight, like it’s been stretched taut between pins on a tacking board. “And when did this happen?”

“He proposed last Sunday.”

“And I’m finding out just now. You really must hate me…”

“Don’t do that,” You warn, keeping your voice deadly calm. You knew if you raised it or gave any signs that her words had affected you, it would give her a rush of satisfaction. “Either you’re happy for us or you’re not. Now which is it?”

“Well, it hardly matters now does it? Although I supposed I should be grateful you’re marrying him after all this time. There’s nasty gossip back in our community…so at least you’ve spared me from the embarrassing idea that you wouldn’t marry a man you’ve been living with like an unprincipled woman.”

“How lovely,” you said through gritted teeth. “Be sure to tell the community I have zero fucks to give them as well.”

“Language…I raised such a proper girl, when did you start saying filth like this?”

“I have to go mom. Your behavior will determine if you’re invited to the wedding or not.”

“You are the type to exclude your mother from your own wedding.I’ve known that for years. So it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise. Anyway, talk to you later…Friday night now?”

She disconnects the call and you sit there in disbelief, heart racing. Every time you stand up for yourself, you know it should feel like a victory but somehow, she manages to even steal that from you. You sigh and rest your head against the back of the car seat.

You had just driven home after a long day’s work and decided that it would be easier to talk to your mom in the car and finish it off since you didn’t want to detract from the peace you feel at home. You feel tears prick the back of your eyes and your throat feels like it’s closing in on itself. 

Why did you let her in on your life? There’s a strange sense of loyalty to her despite her abuse of you. Because despite everything, there are certain things she did which she wouldn’t have done if she hadn’t loved you. Putting you through your degrees, both bachelor’s and master’s. Letting you live at your parent’s house for free when you were in between jobs. Letting you borrow their car to get to job interviews. There’s signs of love there but why did it have to come attached with this emotionally manipulative price tag?

You let yourself cry for a short while, then hold up your left hand to admire the engagement ring your now fiance had picked out. A watery smile breaks out over your face as you look at it. You feel vain when you allow yourself to do this, but you can’t help it. You weren’t really looking at it for it’s monetary value, but more so for what it symbolized; the peace and balance he brought to your life, the maturity your own parents lacked while raising you, and the security that it didn’t matter if you made a bad choice, he’d never make you feel worse about it.

Wiping away your tears, you turn off the car and quickly look at yourself in the mirror. Thankfully your makeup hadn’t smudged much and you could chalk up the tiredness in your eyes as lack of sleep. You take a deep breath before getting out and entering your home. Your fiance was unloading takeout containers from a bag as you entered. He looks up and smiles warmly at you.

“Thought I heard you in the driveway,” he says as he comes over to embrace you, his arms enveloping you with affection. Nanami presses a kiss to your forehead then pulls you in closer, tucking your head under his chin.

You let yourself rest against the warmth of his broad chest, the comfortingly familiar feel of his body relief to the turmoil inside your chest. Resting your cheek on his chest, you close your eyes and breathe in deeply. 

“Y/n? Are you all right?”

Nanami always notices. There’s never a single moment when he’s out of touch with your feelings. He’s learned all the lines in your face, the way your different facial muscles contract or relax depending on how you're feeling. He notices the tension in your shoulders, the slight drop in energy in your step as you walk through the door. Nanami always notices. 

You slowly shake your head no. The flurry of feelings inside you, the hurt, the disappointment, the inability to cut off your mom for good, the overwhelming feeling of being inadequate, a disappointment, churn inside you to the point that you feel like you may never come out of this cyclone feeling like a winner. It’s so complex that you’re not even sure where to begin or how to put it into words. Your thoughts and feelings tangle like a ball of string, knotting into a mess of strands that are impossible to separate. 

“Kento.”

“Yes my love?” His hands run soothingly over your back. 

“I need your lap.”

That was all you could say at the moment. The complexity of everything was too much to bear. Over the years his lap has become a safe space for you. A quiet, designated spot where you could feel everything you wanted to, without any judgment. 

Nanami nodded wordlessly, gently taking your hand and leading you to the couch, sitting down and pulling you on top of his lap. Your feet wrap around his lower back, wedged between the sofa cushions and his body while your head rests on his chest, listening to his breathing and you try to match yours to his, a calming technique you’ve learned over the years.

His large hands play with your hair, stroking it, cupping the back of your head and gently pressing kisses to your forehead. He’s learned over the years that lap sessions meant you were in a state of distress and that it wasn’t his place to force you to talk. You would talk when you’re ready, if at all. 

“Mom?” he asks softly, his voice fluttering through the top of your hair. You merely nod, the thought of explaining it too difficult to even form words. A deep hum of understanding echoes from his chest and you close your eyes at the comforting sound.

Everything about him screamed security. You remember one time breaking a cup while making your morning coffee, the distinct crack of shattering porcelain filling the kitchen. You had flinched, waiting for the tirade of blame and accusations of clumsiness to come at you, only to see Nanami rushing over to you, concern etched all over his face.

“Are you all right? You didn’t get cut?” His words had brought you to tears, that his primary thought had been you and your safety, instead of a very replaceable coffee cup. No one yelling at you for making a mess in the kitchen, or muttering under their breath that you had wasted a usable mug. Nanami had, in a befuddled state, watched as you came to his side, wrapping your arms around him. It wasn’t until 2 weeks after the incident had happened that you had told him what that moment meant to you. 

And now here you were, again, allowing your mom to rob you of the happiness you had worked so hard to build. You're amazed at the patience Nanami has with you, at the way he always reassures you, never letting you forget your worth. That you're more than just your parents’ child. That you are a whole human being on your own, that has the right to live your life without their interference. 

“I don't think I want my parents at our wedding.” The words fall out of your mouth. There's lingering guilt but deep down, you knew it was for the best. 

Nanami adjusts himself on the couch and leans back against the cushions. Most of the time, he leaves handling your parents up to you, despite how much it bothers him that they ruin your mood every time. But there's understanding in his eyes. 

“Not even your dad? I thought you wanted him to give you away.”

“My dad’s an enabler. He'll never come if I don't invite my mom. Besides,” you inhale deeply and continue, “The only person worthy of giving me away is myself.” You gaze into his warm brown eyes, feeling proud that you had come this far. This would be your achievement today. That you were able to say these words and believe them. 

“That’s so very true sweetheart.” He gives you a reassuring squeeze. “Look at you, remembering your affirmations.”

Although it’s not much, you still feel yourself glowing at his praise. Growth on your end. “Besides, if they got involved, they’d hijack all the planning, blow it up into a grand ceremony even though that’s not what we want. It’s just easier without them.”

“Anything you want.” He brushes his lips against your hair.

“No, not anything I want. It’s your wedding too. I’d be ok if you wanted a ceremony. I imagine there’s lots of people you’d want to invite. I just won’t be inviting anyone from my side. Except for my best friend.”

He grasps your chin between his fingers and with sincerity asks you, “How did you imagine it?”

You consider this for a second. Previously, you had imagined the typical traditional wedding that people of your background were expected to have. But the image has been fading lately, and now, unburdened from your parents’ expectations, your mind immediately creates a picture.

“I want to do it at the beach. Just…no expectations, no one grumbling about how we skimped on decorations or other unnecessary things like flowers. I want…to walk down towards you on the sand, barefoot. Feel the ocean breeze on my face. There’s a small group of guests. Very minimalistic.”

He looks like he’s considering it for a moment but his expression doesn’t show signs of objection. “We could do that. Small wedding, intimate ceremony.”

“Really?” You look at him with love in your eyes.

“Really. I think all the people I want to invite would easily fit into this setting.”

You lean forward and wrap your arms around him tightly. There were simply no words to express how grateful you are for him, for his presence in your life. That you could actually be a family, just the two of you.  You lean back to take in all of him, just sitting serenely on the couch, in this shared space the both of you called home now. 

“Thank you, Kento.” You say quietly. You know it’s unnecessary, that his love is so very unconditional, no emotional price tags attached. “I know I’m not the easiest to love sometimes.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” He draws you tightly to his chest. “It’s so easy to love you. Because every small thing you do is filled with love and consideration. Thoughtfulness. Emotion. And that’s enough. You don’t have to be more than that.”

Your heart swells as you hear his words, the only person to ever really understand just how much you needed to know those things. 

“I’m enough.” You whisper softly, still on his lap, resting comfortably in his embrace. You rest your head on his shoulder, eyes closing.

I’m enough…

all banners and dividers by @cafekitsune

[atinystraynstay]

Different Sides - Kim Seokjin

Synopsis: To Seokjin, the world was his to claim. He could care less about the differences that were meant to keep people separated or the physical miles that made the distance. Especially when it comes to you, he was ready to give your relationship his all.

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader

Genre: Fluffffff, strangers to lovers high-key missing Seokjin hours 💜

Word Count: 2.5k

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Kim Seokjin has always been curious about the world around him. He believed everywhere told a story. And instead of reading about it, he wanted to just experience it for himself.

While Jin was exploring the world outside of Korea, he knew that he always had to find Korean food wherever he goes. Whether it was at a restaurant or finding ingredients at home, he was determined to get a little piece of home wherever he goes. On this particular trip, he wondered into an Asian grocery store. He never knew places like this existed, but he was overjoyed.

That afternoon, you found yourself venturing to the Asian grocery store. You were inspired by a video you saw online of a person making a stew, which you figured would be perfect for a cold, rainy night.

With a list of ingredients typed onto your phone, you began to stroll through the aisles for everything you needed. You were pretty confident looking through the produce aisles. Potatoes, onions, green chili. Where you struggled is one you got to the spices.

You frequently glanced between the English typed on your phone with the Hangul on the printed labels. Maybe you could just grab what looked like it was used in the video? But the problem was also that many of the ingredients looked alike. Your eyes glanced around you to see if an employee could help you but there was no one in sight.

Jin was around though. He wanted to make naengmyeon, a craving he had since he landed in the United States. He was able to pick up most of the ingredients pretty easily, but he was having a hard time locating the actual noodle packets for it.

That's when he spotted you. You were staring up at the expansive shelves of spices, eyes bouncing around. He took note of the freckles that decorates your cheeks and the few moles that kissed your jawline. Your eyebrows were slightly scrunched which he found adorable.

Slowly, as to not startle you, he made his way over to you. His packet of ingredients rested on his forearm.

"You seem like you might need some help? May I?"

Jin silently thanked his parents and the universe for allowing him to study abroad when he was in his youth. He had gotten pretty good at being able to read English. He was just trying to work on speaking it without additional assistance, especially since he was traveling on his own. You looked up, relief washing over your face. Jin was mesmerized by the color of your eyes. He couldn't quite describing them but he found them enchanting. They were such a unique color, almost as if it was a color made just for you. He noticed your eyebrows relaxed as you eased down from your tiptoes.

"Please? I thought I was doing a good job at writing all the ingredients down, but I forgot about the part of the bottles being in a different language."

He chuckled lightly at you. Not because he was amused by your struggle, but he just found your adorable. He also loved that you thought you had to justify yourself to him, but there was no need. It was fate by the universe for you two to cross paths like this.

Jin held out his free hand, motioning for your phone. He gladly took your device and began to scroll through. He was able to easily pick up the exact spices you needed. It also worked out in his favor seeing as he could easily reach them from his height. With ease, he grabbed the remaining spices you needed before setting them down in your basket. "You know, there is one thing you're missing from your list." To your surprise, you raised an eyebrow. You figured that this stranger must know what they are talking about. Just eyeing his own basket, he seemed to know his way around the kitchen, so surely he could put two and two together to figure out what you were making. "What am I missing? Is there a secret ingredient to make it better?" You laughed. "Yeah, you're missing my number. Every good meal needs good company."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You weren't the type of person to invite someone over spontaneously, let alone someone you just met a few hours ago. Yet, there was something about Jin that was different. After the interaction at the grocery store, you craved being around him.

Your eyes bounced around your studio apartment. You wanted to make sure everything was set up appropriately. Was it too casual? You had floor lamps on rather than the harsh overhead light in the main part of the room. There also were three candles of different heights lit on your kitchen table. Was it too romantic?

All the ingredients were laid out on the kitchen island, ready to be prepared. Jin insisted that you two cook together. "I just want to make sure you do it correctly," he teased you in the grocery store. If it meant that you could to spend time with him, you weren't complaining.

Knock knock knock

"Shit," you murmured underneath your breath. You didn't get the chance to second-guess yourself. Your heart pounding almost to the same beat at Jin knocking on the door. How could a stranger make you so nervous so easily?

"Coming! Just give me a second," you called out. You walked over towards the front of your apartment while your hands got busy at smoothing out your clothes. You wore a pair of ripped jeans and a grey sweatshirt with the hands rolled up to the elbows since you two were cooking. You had your hair half pulled back by a claw clip, showing off the gold earrings you might've stolen from your sibling.

Before you answered the door, you looked at your reflection in the mirror. You made sure your makeup, while light, was not smudged. You gave yourself a quick smile, wanting to make sure you had nothing stuck in your teeth. Your hands were trembling with excitement.

Satisfied with your appearance, you walked fully to the door. You unlocked the top lock before opening it up. You gasped softly to be presented first with a bouquet of flowers, Jin smiling sheepishly.

"Really hope you're not allergic," he joked. You giggled before shaking your head, gladly taking the flowers into your arms. "Not trying to take this date to the hospital."

"I'm sure you could even make a trip to the hospital fun," you teased. You stepped aside to allow Jin into your apartment. He smiled as he crossed the threshold, watching as he shrugged off the jacket he was wearing. Holy fuck. His back and shoulder muscles are impressive.

Seokjin could feel his eyes on him, causing him to smirk. He glanced over at you from over his shoulder. "Like what you see?" As if to make things worse, he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows now that jacket has been discarded. You just couldn't take your eyes off of him, and he knew that.

Your cheeks quickly gained a red hue. You wanted to apologize, not wanting to be rude. However, hearing his laughter as he proceeded to head towards your kitchen gave you some relief. While at the same time, your stomach was warm and fuzzy from hearing him. He really was something.

"Are you coming, sweet girl? Every great chef needs their sous-chef."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Making dinner quickly became the thing you two did. Whether it was for one another or together, the two of you were always in the kitchen. It was your favorite way of showing your love to someone. Jin was just content to be wherever you were.

That day in the grocery store turned into your first date of many. Throughout Jin's visit to America, he made frequent visits to your apartment with bags filled with groceries. Your apartment became filled with delicious smells, infectious laughter, and the sound of you two making out.

You couldn't believe how quickly things have escalated between the two of you. Yet, it felt like you two have known each other this whole time. He understood you in ways nobody else has even tried to comprehend before. And you were so curious about him - from his wit to his kind heart.

The months of Jin's stay were quickly dwindling down to a few weeks. And now, there were only a few days.

Everyone said the two of you would never work out. Your friends were concerned that the distance would be too much for you two to endure. Your parents were not the biggest fans of him considering they only had met him once.

Yet, their voices were all white noise to you. The only person that mattered when it came to your relationship was Kim Seokjin. Every day, he made it his mission to make it known how committed he was to you. He knew long distance relationships could be a source of anxiety, especially when it comes to unknowns.

There was nothing more that he was certain about than how he feels about you. The two of you met when Seokjin was on a solo trip. Since studying abroad in his youth, he was fascinated with the world around him. That is why he was so inspired to take up English, so he could be more connected with the world.

At the moment, you were both lying on your couch. Jin's back was against the arm of the couch, so you could rest comfortably against his back. One of his arms was wrapped around your body, keeping you close. Your other hand was playing with his free hand. You were comparing your hand sizes, seeing as he was much larger than your own. You would spread your fingers and he would mimick, adding to your amusement. In reality, it was serving as a distraction from what you really wanted to do.

"Alright, I've known you for about two months now. Something is going on in that pretty little head of yours,'' Jin commented.

He lifted his head off of your chin, so he could look at you properly. You often got quiet when you had something on your mind, something that you were going back and forth about confessing. Your eyebrows would furrow the slightest bit. You always thought you were slick about it, but he could see right through you.

"Come on, talk to me."

Jin offered a gentle smile. He was ready to listen to whatever was troubling your mind. You felt so comfortable around him.

"What are we doing, Jin?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head in confusion. "Right now, we're laying on your couch. We might cook, or if you want to just order in, you can show me your favorite restaurant. I won't get jealous because know I'm your favorite chef though," he smirked.

Normally, his humor helped lift the mood but not this time. Not when there were so many scenarios playing out in your mind at this exact moment.

"No, I mean, what are we doing? What is this between us?"

Jin sat up a bit straighter, but he didn't loosen his hold on you. His smirk did disappear though and furrowed eyebrows. He was providing all the space possible to allow you to elaborate.

Sure, he's thought about it. He was also curious as to what you two were heading toward, or what you could call yourselves. He's never felt a connection as intensely as whatever it is you two had. But he was aware that time was no longer on their side, and it was time to explore what life was outside of the bubble you two created.

If only he could freeze time before it all burst.

"Y/n, angel, I'm not sure."

You frowned at his words, trying your best not to fall apart in front of him. It could have just been a summer romance to him, nothing more and nothing less. You couldn't help but get your hopes up though.

"We have something special," he reaffirmed. "And I know that things are going to be different once I head back to Korea. I guess I'm not sure where things are heading because everyone has tried telling us that it's not going to work between you and I. But I want to prove them wrong." "So why don't we? Why don't we give it a try? Who says that it has to end the moment we say goodbye at the airport?" "What if instead of 'goodbye', we just say 'see you later'?" He offered.

If there was one thing about Kim Seokjin, he was a determined man. Whatever he wanted, he practically got.

However, Jin was skilled at making sure you never felt pressured to say yes to him. He was just happy to be in the same room as you. But, little did he know, it was so easy to say yes to him. You'd say a million times as long as it brought that charming smile of his.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two years later

"I don't thnk anyone in this room would have thought we'd be here today," your best friend spoke into the microphone.

You couldn't help but groan a bit in embarrassment, turning your head to hide in Jin's shoulder. His laughter rumbled from his chest, vibrating throughout you which made your heart flutter with excitement. He had such an effect over you.

His lips gently pressed to your head, an arm around your petite body. He couldn't help himself but run his finger over the white lace that covered your body. He just loved the feeling of the material underneath his fingertips.

What he loved more was the fact it was you sitting beside you. You wore a gorgeous white dress that looked custom-made for him. Truthfully, you could have walked down the aisle in a sack and he'd still be mesmerized by you.

"Seriously though. Their love story is one that you read about in romance novels, the ones where everything good happens. But they proved that impossible can be possible."

You lifted your head off of Jin's shoulder to look up at him. Every struggle was worth it knowing he was yours forever and always. After trying to battle canceled flights, time differences, and missed calls - you two made it. You defied the odds to get to this moment where you two are officially Mr. and Mrs. Kim Seokjin.

"I love you, Mrs. Kim,' he whispered. "And I love you, my handsome Mr. Kim," you giggled.

He grinned wide before pressing his lips to yours lingeringly. You lost count of how many times he kissed you tonight, but he just couldn't get enough of the feeling of it. The way your lips felt against his, how soft they were - how each kiss felt like the first kiss.

He was devoted to you and you were devoted him. Now, you just proved everyone wrong with what you two knew this whole time.

There was nobody else for you but Kim Seokjin.

[neuroticbookworm]

Another Thai BL, another Asian parent-child conflict that enrages the audience and yet, is extremely nuanced. I’m gonna try and speak on it as an Asian kid who grew up in the East, but currently lives in the West, carrying complicated feelings on the Asian parenting I received.

I’m seeing a good discourse in the tags from @lurkingshan, @respectthepetty, @bengiyo, @heretherebedork and @williamrikers, among others, on the hypocrisy of a dad who hit his son in anger and is now lecturing him on the importance of controlling one’s actions when angry. I agree with everyone that the dad is being a hypocritical piece of shit. But I do not think that this is a failure in the writing of the show. Quite the opposite, actually. Because of how Ten responds and acts in the face of this hypocrisy.

Ten comes across as belligerent and confrontational in every interaction he has had with his dad, but it is never uncalled for, and he never seeks it out himself. He tries to stay out of his dad and his stepmom/his dad’s girlfriend’s way as much as possible, and only responds in a defensive manner when provoked. And in today’s episode, he even kept himself open enough in the conversation with his dad, despite his anger, to concede and accept a very good point when raised. Ten understands his dad’s hypocrisy but refuses to stoop to the same level of pettiness because he knows being a good partner and a good friend is more important than being right. This is a mark of excellent writing, in my opinion. The main character is fiercely loyal to his partner and his friends and does not let his baggage with his dad cloud his course of action.

I also see calls for an apology from the dad already brewing in the fandom. And I understand the instinct to want that. It is always so satisfying when mistreated children finally get the apology that’s been long overdue. But it’s rarely this simple in an Asian household. Times are changing faster than most people can in a lifetime, and there are systemic, cultural flaws in how an Asian society understands and teaches parenting. And if we factor in the social, economic, religious lines that heavily influence how an Asian person forms their social circle, it would’ve left these parents with little to no peers who can tell them what they’re doing is wrong. Parents striking their kids is clearly considered evil nowadays, but only a few years ago, it would’ve been a perfectly acceptable response to control a bratty child, on and off screen (and it still is in some Asian cultures).

Now, NONE of what I said above is an excuse to write off the behavior of Ten’s dad as acceptable, just because it’s very Asian. As an Asian who grew up in the East, the demand for an apology does not particularly resonate with me, because Ten and his dad both know that their problems are not gonna go away as soon as Ten’s dad apologizes. Because:

If Ten starts demanding an apology for every shitty thing his dad has ever done, where should he stop? Should he demand an apology for the time his dad probably struck him as a kid when he was trying to get him to memorize multiplication tables, as is wont of every Asian parent ever (it is such an ubiquitous experience to Asian kids everywhere that there are reels with millions of views on IG, referencing this experience. Does this mean every Asian parent is evil and must be put on trial by their kids? Holy moly, think of all the money therapists would make if every Asian kid in the world decided to call out their parents on their shit. Entire economies would crumble to dust from the sudden disruption in cashflow.)

Is an apology going to comfort Ten? Asian parenting warps the sense of self of both the parents and the kids, because of the levels of abject sacrifice involved in it. It is extremely possible that Ten’s dad had worked day and night to provide well for his family, for his son, before Ten’s mom fell ill. It’s the same choice he made for his wife, but in this case, it paid off, because now Ten is financially well taken care of, and he is privileged enough to pursue a career in medicine. If Ten demands an apology from his dad for not being there when his mom was dying, do we know for sure that when he gets that apology, his mind won’t conflate the sacrifices his dad made for him, thus making him feel guilty for forcing someone who clearly cared about him enough to work hard for him, into defeat (look at this rich soup of Asian parenting misery, yum yum yum. I know it’s delicious because I’m paying my therapist weekly to make the broth less spicy).

The dialogue in the show whenever Ten’s mom is brought up and discussed is always very carefully worded:

Not “because you did not act”, but “because you took so long to act”. Looks like Ten’s dad made a choice that ultimately did not pay off. He cared, and he wanted to do something to save his wife, but whatever he chose to do ultimately did not help. And now she is dead and he has managed to not help and comfort his wife in her final days AND unwittingly traumatize his son with his absence. The show has painted this storyline with enough nuance that I don’t believe we are meant to read Ten’s dad as a simple villain, but rather a father who does care but has made some serious mistakes. This situation is so emotionally complicated and realistically, it’s gonna take years for both of them to find a middle ground. Ten is gonna have to grow up and make a few mistakes of his own in life to develop proper empathy for his dad, and that’s gonna put a couple things into perspective for him (I’m not saying Ten is bound to make mistakes because he is bad. He is going to because shit happens in life and human beings always do better in hindsight than in the moment). And the dad is gonna have to grow old and let his aging body humble him a little and shrink his ego enough to see that he had failed his son by not being emotionally available to deal with their trauma, together.

I’ve been watching Kim’s Convenience, a Canadian sitcom that follows a Korean-Canadian family and their shenanigans. I’m only on S04E02, but there is a father-son conflict at the centre of this show that is still not directly addressed by both the dad and the son. It’s been years (almost a decade, I think) since the son has been driven out of his home by his dad for a dumb mistake he made as a teen. And the way the show works on it is so infuriating, because it is so Asian. It is rarely addressed aloud in the presence of the dad or the son, lest it leads to anger and screaming and storming off. The path to reconciliation is built with mom calling her son for help to fix something in their home because his dad is too stubborn to ask for it. With the son visiting the hospital when the dad had to undergo surgery, and having their first real conversation in years which the dad forgets after waking up from the influence of pain drugs. With the daughter’s old phone passed down to the dad with her brother’s number on it, which leads to them texting each other. It is all extra frustrating for me because I’m extremely straightforward in my conversations with my parents. I do not like ambiguous endings to verbal conflicts because they are a ticking time bomb and I do not have the capacity to forget its existence and let it tick away in the background. But, I understand it when my friends, and Asian characters in TV shows, don’t want to force things out in the open if it can be swept under the rug for the time being, because peace of mind in Asian households is fleeting and you would be wise to take what you get.

Good TV shows can best serve their audience when they serve their characters, and stay true to the experiences of the people they are trying to represent. My teen ass was regularly shocked, appalled and intrigued by the sexual liberation promised by Western media I consumed while I was in school and college. I was surrounded by a sexually repressed society that was convinced that the only moral way to enjoy pleasure was after marriage with your partner. And very predictably, this means a lot of dead bedrooms, unhappy marriages and kids growing up with no real understanding of what romantic love looks like. I would’ve never had the courage to move my entire life to the West, if the Western media I watched had not represented its people in all their messy, horny glory, albeit with a rose-tinted lens on gender, race and sexuality.

Some Asian parents in media need to fall at the feet of their children and apologize. I remember being absolutely fucking enraged while @lurkingshan and I watched Double Savage at the behest of our friend @waitmyturtles, and in the finale, Korn was the one who fell at the feet of his absolute piece of shit of a dad to apologize for FUCKING NOTHING. And after Shan and I were done surviving that show, I remember telling my friends that most Asian media does not have strong writing whenever Asian children need to defy their shitty parents and come to terms with their destructive parenting, because chances are, most Asian creators would not have successfully done it. Hence, intergenerational trauma (gasp! It’s all connected!).

So. I would never demand to see Ten’s dad apologize to him to consider Cooking Crush a successful show, because that is not the cultural context this story operates in. Would I enjoy it if he does? Hell yes. Would I be mad if he does not? No, because Ten is proving him wrong time and again, and that’s a constant reminder from the narrative of who is in the right.

[nepentheisms]

Trimax Volume 8 has one of my favorite Vash quotes in it.

"Only the victims of violence can truly describe its essence."

Really, this whole exchange with Knives that happens in the first chapter of this volume sounds very Buddhist in its language. I'll do my best to parse out some of the concepts I think are at play here, but I should make it clear that I do not have as extensive a personal history with Buddhism as I do with Christianity. I was raised Christian growing up, but my experience as a Chinese-American kid with immigrant parents meant a lot of early childhood exposure to works of fiction with Buddhist themes (think Journey to the West). Also, because we lived in an area with a sizeable population of east and southeast asian immigrants, I developed a surface level familiarity with Buddhist iconography and terminology thanks to friends who were raised Buddhist and regular encounters with Buddhist artwork in local businesses. The rest of my knowledge comes from informal self-study. If anyone out there has more relevant experience in this field, feel free to correct me if I get anything wrong.

Here we go: LONG POST AHEAD

What first caught my attention was Knives' word choice - "I was enlightened." I'm curious what word in the Japanese text was translated as "enlightened" here. A lot of foundational Buddhist literature was written in Sanskrit, and the Sanskrit word that is often translated into English as "enlightenment" is bodhi. This word carries connotations of waking up and coming into awareness and knowledge. In Japanese, the words I've seen for this concept are satori and kenshō.

According to Thomas Cleary, who translated many pieces of Zen Buddhist literature throughout his career, kenshō is the "Zen insight into the essence of one's own being," and satori is "complete kenshō" (1) . Kenshō is written using the Chinese characters 見 (jiàn) which means "see" and 性 (xìng) which means "nature" or "character." This is of particular interest for the above panels, because Knives is saying his pain "revealed [his] true self," and he wants humans to likewise look within to confront the reality of what they are.

Now, at this point in the story, it's pretty clear that Knives' ideas about both who he is and the nature of humanity as a whole are flawed. He's insisting that he has attained enlightenment - some transcendent insight into reality - but from a Buddhist perspective, he's very far off the mark because his mindset was skewed from the start. In fact, Vash gives a keen diagnosis of how Knives is going wrong when he says "We've suffered, but you bottled it up, keeping yourself from feeling the pain and never finding the true source of it." Vash's point is that after obtaining the knowledge of humanity's capacity for evil, Knives only sought to avoid further pain at all cost instead of seeking a deeper understanding of how he's been hurt. The conclusion Knives drew was "the fundamental nature of humans is that they are a threat to me, and they are my inferiors. If they cause pain to me, it is because of their inherent evil, and the only way I can eliminate the potential for suffering is by killing them all." But contrary to Knives' perspective, the path out of suffering in the enlightened Buddhist perspective isn't through forcibly imposing your will on the rest of world until you've destroyed everything that could hurt you.

Instead, Buddhism considers dukkha (suffering) the first of the Four Noble Truths and emphasizes that we should accept the reality that as finite beings in a world constantly in flux, unpleasant emotions and experiences will always find us. There always will be elements outside of our control, but we don't have to allow the hurt they cause to create persistent negative states of being. What we need to do is to not run away from suffering but to understand the cause of it (find "the true source of it" as Vash says) and develop an awareness of how it arises within us - this is the second Noble Truth, called samudhaya. In Buddhism, the origin of suffering is linked to desire and attachment, and Buddhist philosophy posits that by following the fourth Noble Truth, known as the Noble Eightfold Path, the practitioner can experience the third Noble Truth, nirodha (cessation of the desires giving rise to suffering).

With the way Knives currently is, this cessation is something that'll be out of reach for him even if he succeeds in his goals, because he hasn't reckoned with the fear and need for control that is motivating him. He can't complete the path to enlightenment, because his view of the path is obscured by self-delusion. Knives constantly acts as though his goals and feelings are the only ones that matter, but suppose he does realize his vision and kill every human being on the planet. What then? Isn't he effectively alone since there is no one else around that he considers his equal? And where does all the hate that he has purposely cultivated for over a century go? It's doubtful that he'd be able to let go of his attachment to such emotions so easily.

(1): The Thomas Cleary book I'm referencing is Kensho: The Heart of Zen

[manns-cape]

zürich is one of the most beautiful cities that i've ever been in, but so many people here suffer from this weird, 21st century crypto-antisemitism, and i really tire of it.

i'm in a *troupe from russia*, but people here always ask me where i'm "really from." i say russia, and it's then, "but originally, where are you from." ..... the answer is russia. "where are your parents from, though?" ........................ russia. (or, i guess if we want to be pedantic, the ussr?) the game could go on for every generation of my family-- the answer is russia.

obviously you don't want to alienate colleagues though, so after a couple rounds of "i'm literally, originally from russia," i do end up telling people that i'm circassian. no one ever knows what that is, but they look it up on wikipedia, find out that most are muslim, and then everything neatly fits into their head. problem solved. i'm a strange asian looking kind of arab.

i have gotten so many strange remarks where white, european, typically swiss people pepper "habibi" or "yallah" into their conversations with me. and i get these weird kind of, winking, remarks about israel/palestine. last week, i mentioned a director who this theatre should consider working with. they had never heard of him, they literally just heard the last name (which is very popular even in europe among jewish people), and they all agreed "we don't like working with zionists." i said something about "i don't think he's ever publicly spoken about his position on israel" and someone said "exactly." ...

our team was hired to put out a piece. apparently, we would not be here creating this piece, were it not that kirill's familial is uncommon and not easily clockable as jewish. i dropped the point bc kirill would be absolutely furious if we did all this work and lost the contract, just because *i* got pissy (let alone, over a type of discrimination that i'm not even personally experiencing)

i went to work today and even *more* people seem to know that i'm muslim than people who ever asked that i'm circassian. people keep trying to glorify fucking yahya sinwar to me. i can not emphasize enough my utter disgust for radical Islam. i can not emphasize enough my utter disgust for the terrorism that those groups do.

troupes gossip, but i can not express how irritated i am by the concept of them all talking about news of the day or whatever this morning, and them being all these generic white swiss people... and personally glorifying sinwar and talking with each other like "we know a muslim! we should all cheer her up today, by glorifying a violent, filthy terrorist to her! tell her that we all support a violent extremist who destroyed his own people and was singularly fixated on eliminating all jews! she'll appreciate the solidarity!"

they pick up the weirdest muslim shit, i don't know if it's from twitter. i do know that things like praising this disgusting man for having a "martyr's death" isn't exactly native to swiss culture and they learned it from somewhere. and now they're just saying this to random muslims as though they're ~in on the secret~ and this makes us part of a secret club of people who think Islamic extremism is actually pretty cool and leftist

i mean whatever, it's not as though i can't change the conversation. i do wave off the remarks. but people keep making them to me in this sneaky, happy kind of way, like they genuinely think they're saying these things to me *for my benefit*.

they think that supporting sinwar is something that *i secretly believe* and they're just using their relative privilege to express desires that i'm not "allowed" to say out loud or something. i am so tired of the projection that these people do, of imagining that i have these utterly violent desires, and how happy they are to express that to me.

[diiwata]

i absolutely loved reading your response! you brought up such good points that are so important to consider! i was wondering if you would be willing to elaborate on how you think culture will impact clemensia’s future (and maybe how it affected her/her families reaction to the snake bite?) thank you!

hello lils!!! eek, I hope my answer will suffice. sorry for the delay, it takes a while for me to piece my words together 🫢 this is mostly based on book!clemmie with the movie!clemmie casting, but I think some of these things can be applied to movie!clemmie

to me, clemmie is a ticking time bomb. the reputation, compliance, family, and mental health stigma are all factors that play into her life. my interpretation of her future is under the cut!

I see the snake bite as a fuse. the thing that makes clemmie disillusioned to everything she's ever believed. working hard leads to success, but in a world as unfair as panem, it's a lot more complex than that. respect authority, and don't take seniority lightly. that's what we've always been taught. it's ingrained in our heads. so, for her to put her trust in an authority figure (gaul) only to have that trust betrayed is the fuse.

reputation (not the way I grew up, at least) is very important. I can imagine that her family would do everything to maintain this secret, even going as far as working with gaul. "we don't want any trouble," i can hear them say. i mean, clemmie must've gotten her try-hard and people-pleasing attitude from someone. of course, she also doesn't want any trouble. she doesn't want to cause conflict. i can see her wanting the same as them. it's all she's ever known, after all. so, she complies.

mental health is also heavily stigmatized in asian cultures, so the continuous act of maintaining appearances would definitely have a toll on her. however, compliance is the only thing she knows. it's also the only thing her family knows. she is expected to not only keep up appearances for herself, but also for her family. the dynasty they've built. the reputation they accumulated by simply being polite. "the dovecotes are so likeable and loyal!"

she'd probably find comfort in the stability her job in the government offers. have a family, work with coriolanus, and feel a bit of weight lifted off her shoulders when dr. gaul dies. however... clemmie is STILL a bomb with a lot of unpacked trauma and no way of healthily navigating her feelings. it's ingrained in our heads that family is the only one you should trust. so, if they say you don't need mental health help, then they're probably right. your parents are older, anyway.

it gets too much for her. the secrets, the inside jobs, the assassinations, the corruption of panem. clemmie doesn't even trust the therapist coriolanus refers her, too. what if someone was listening, and she was next?! no. keep doing what you're doing. don't let change get in the way of your comfort.

her disillusionment might make her want to join the rebellion, but she is just so, so, so comfortable where she is right now. joining would mean turning away from everything her family built. she has no identity outside of that, so if it all collapses, and she was the reason, then who the hell even IS clemensia dovecote? the passive girl that never had an opinion for herself?

I believe that if she joined the rebellion, a part of her would hesitate, she'd accidentally let something slip, and coriolanus deals with her. she'd have to be really, really strong in her belief of the cause to commit. she'd have to be absolutely SURE in the cause's victory. if she didn't join the rebellion, then she'd likely end up being part of the execution of capitol officials. all that work for nothing.

and yeah! that's my depressing interpretation of her! a part of me wants to believe that the snake bite led to her switching sides, but who knows what suzanne has in mind for her!

[powergayser]

"home"

personal essay on ideas of home from a diaspora desi living in the U.S.

while reading “white spaces and brown traveling bodies: a project of re-working otherness��� by roksana badruddoja, i began thinking of ideas of home, and what they mean to me. a portion of this paper, published in 2006, focuses on “home,” and what it means to various south asian women. the paper also discusses race and ethnicity within the context of the united states, and how these desi women are situated within it. i myself have done lots of thinking and writing on these subjects, but i have never fleshed out my ideas of “home.” 

there are many unique struggles and situations that come with growing up in a diaspora. my parents are from india. i was born in ohio. i have lived in ohio my entire life. i have gone to india many times with my mother to visit her family. my father’s family moved to america when he was eight years old, and they still live here. 

throughout my life, i have constantly been asked, “where are you from?”

people are curious. they see me, they see that i am not white, but i am also not black. in america, race is constructed on a black-white binary. those of us who exist outside of the binary have a difficult time situating ourselves within this country. others have a difficult time figuring out where to place us as well, hence the age old question, where are you from?

this question seems so innocent, but it is loaded with racism, otherness, and the idea that we do not belong here. 

when i am in a good mood, i will say that i was born in ohio, but my parents are from india. if i am not, then i simply say “ohio,” and hope that they will leave it. but sometimes, i am asked, “but where are you really from?”

what they want to know is my ethnicity, but they don’t have a way to ask that question. in these situations, i usually turn the question back around, or i flat-out say that this is ridiculous. 

perhaps this is why the idea of “home” has always confused me. from a young age, the white children and adults around me insisted that i could not be american like them, that i was something else, and i did not belong here. eventually, i stopped saying i was american. it is not a label i feel a connection to, and apparently i do not get to decide what i am, so i stopped using it to appease those around me. 

as a child, i mainly listened to bollywood, watched indian films, and hung out with my local indian community outside of school. i went to a predominantly white private school, and i did not connect very well with the children there. my mother also did not connect with any of the parents, so i rarely spent time with people at school outside of school. i did not participate in american culture very much, and did not consume american media outside of disney channel and cartoons. people made fun of me for this, or they acted as though i had committed some grave sin by not listening to taylor swift (i still wouldn’t listen to her if you paid me a million dollars). to this day, there are still many iconic pieces of american media that i have not consumed, and it still stings when people go “really? you haven’t seen that?” 

my local indian community didn’t help with this. the majority of the kids i spent time with primarily consumed american media, and had very little interest in film and music of india. 

i’m also neurodivergent, and i ended up being transgender and queer as well. as i got older, i began to drift from the indian community. i no longer keep up with any of the children i grew up with. i fear that i am too different now. most of them are pursuing careers as doctors and engineers, and i’m struggling to finish college and get my humanities degree. 

alienation was something i felt everywhere: at school, with my family, and in my indian community. i never had a solid group of friends, i never had “my people,” and i could not find my way in the world i inhabited. as an adult who moved out of his parents’ house, it has become easier, but not by much.

when i went to india in december, and informed my partner that i had arrived at my family’s house, she said “welcome home.” 

what is “home?” where is “home?” is it a tangible place that i can exist in? is it a person? or more of an abstract concept? 

in india, perhaps i do feel more at “home.” i am surrounded by a family that loves me, despite not quite understanding me and my ways (they still don’t know i’m not cisgendered anymore, and i am too afraid to tell them). i am surrounded by people who look like me. they aren’t disgusted with me for using my hands to eat. they do not question my love for indian film and music– if anything, they are delighted that i care. they do not ask me, “where are you from?” 

india feels good. but india is not home. there are so many things i love about india, but it is not home, it is a vacation. it is a trip i make with my mother, because my grandmother was bound to the house for the last 20 years of her life, and we used to go to see her. in india, i do not have a schedule, i do not have responsibilities, there is nothing for me to do there but relax, read books, and play games. 

i get bored after a while. i get restless. i become depressed and anxious. there are parts of myself that i cannot share with my family. i cannot go anywhere by myself in india. i do not know enough hindi, telugu, or marathi to get around. if i speak english, with my strange midwest-american accent, it will give me away. i do my best to keep my mouth shut when we are going around the markets and sari shops. 

these days, i see many desis online commenting on the way diaspora desis live. they claim that we are not one of them. we stumble over our words trying to speak our parents’ languages. we don’t always enjoy foods that are traditional in our cultures. we dress differently. we participate in the culture of where we grew up, rather than the culture of south asia. and so, desis from south asia like to say that we are “whitewashed,” that we have forgotten our roots, that this is a decision that we made. it’s not like there is pressure to follow the hegemonic culture and internalize it. it’s not like there are consequences when you don’t follow it. no, no one ever made fun of me for bringing indian food to school, or wearing bindis, or bangles, or my traditional clothing. 

it’s not like i, a diaspora desi living in america, have ever had any struggles at all regarding my identity as the child of immigrants and my place in american society. 

we did not ask to be born here. we did not ask to be born at all. 

america is not home, india is not home, and the shitty townhouse i moved into with my ex is not home, either. what is home? where is it? 

will i ever find it? 

[tianshiisdead]

People who are accused of sinophobia for accusing random Chinese diaspora with 0 connection to China of being a gov shill (in this case despite 23049685908 evidence to the contrary), and told this rhetoric is not only racist but has caused direct violence to the Chinese person recently: stop making this about you! this is about your GOV (goes on a tangent about what the gov which has nothing to do with OP is doing) WHICH MEANS YOUR POINT IS INVALID!

like you are just proving the diaspo's point... they've provided you the proof your accusations are unjustified... and now you're doubling down and starting to talk about the gov... which proves you conflate them with the gov they have 0 connection to and do not benefit from, as are actively facing racist violence tied to this. If you didn't think all Chinese = gov, then why would you continue bringing up gov actions after this Chinese diaspo proved they were not connected to it? What do they have to do with it? Why is this relevant at all, if you don't in fact support the conflation?

Finally, you can't get out of racism charges by saying they live in America, or that their people (not them) are also racist against yours, or that their parents' country holds economic power over yours. All POC can internalize racist rhetoric, racism is not a thing more inherent to some groups, it's a structural issue based on not only international power dynamics but local power dynamics as well, and those on different rungs of that ladder under the top level can and do internalize racist rhetoric against each other, and that is not justified through being on a lower rung *in general*. Spreading racist rhetoric online, in an anglophone space, means your rhetoric is simply going to be taken the way all faceless online anglophone rhetoric is and feed into irl racism in the west. Online, you are not limited by region but by language.

This isn't getting into how diaspora face more racism in their day-to-day lives, and how for some of the people targeted, we also face islamophobia and persecution/racism both abroad as diaspora and at home as minorities, as Muslims.

In this case *we are not more privileged than you in a way that is meaningful or manifests irl where this matters*, full stop. Privilege isn't an abstract that always manifests the same way, and intersectionality must be taken into account. Class, location, and relationship to the state you are living in, all of that matters, which is why different groups/ethnicities can have WILDLY differing levels of privilege in different regions. This applies to Asians in the West VS Asians who are the majority race at home, migrant workers and rich gentrifiers who are the same race and from the same country entering the same country, etc. Both historical colonialism and economic imperialism notwithstanding.

Also, weaponizing Japanese imperialism against a Korean through framing it as Easian colonialism vs SEA colonized, therefore conflating Easians (in this case Koreans) as the perpetrators, victimizing yourself vis a vis Korea, is fucking *vile*. Korea was arguably one of the most and longest brutalized, some of the main victims, the country pieced together their freedom after decades of colonial violence and suppression.

Downplaying and even mocking/denying colonialism and racism faced by other POC is racist no matter what. It feeds into violent rhetoric that affects us as diaspora IRL.

Finally, how hard is it to accept you've said something racist and move on, or changing your angle of attack at least? Doubling down is crazy. I've absolutely said unacceptable things before because I as a part of society have also internalized many racist ideas, we ALL do, that's how racism WORKS. And sometimes those things are against people who are more privileged than me! Who's gov or people have/are perpetuating this or that against mine! And I fix my thinking, retract my comment, and move tf on, because NONE of that justifies feeding into racism that oppresses them under the white supremacist world and societal order. Do you think I'm new to this, as an ethnic minority of a racialized group?

[britcision]

"other cultures have different ideas of freedom and duty" is this not still about the catgirl who very much wanted to leave but was prevented from doing so with an exploding slave collar?

Yeah, this is about the 10 year old that was bought from a freak show and kept trying to run away into the woods

So they put the exact same “don’t wander off” charm on her they put on the clan leader’s kid and trained her to be a ninja, and then when she was 17 and worked out how to break the charm they pretty much just shrugged it off and wished her well

(Note: buck fucking wild “don’t wander off” charm that makes a scary ghost lady chase you around with a knife until you go find the ninja who absolutely should not be a governess

No physical damage, but scary as shit and something that is actually worth calling the family out on)

People are real intent on calling it slavery because what actually happened was that she got bought by Eastern Islands Batman and put into service to his clan, to be trained along with a couple other girls he bought from similar parent free situations, and the young daughter of one of families who served the clan

Cuz y’see, to understand the concept of being in service, you have to understand that the feudal system is not in fact the modern West, and for a lot of people (3/4 of these girls in fact) being fed, trained, cared for, and given home and board was a pretty sweet deal and well worth deep and abiding loyalty

(And you get to be a ninja, also cool, and other exclusive things like an education and regular baths which were not available to common folks)

1/4 preferred actual freedom to do what she wanted when she wanted (our catgirl Izutsumi), so when they were convinced she wouldn’t actually immediately die or be stuffed back in another cage (breaking the curse), she got her wish

But the Asian man from the family they’re all in service to had a fight with our beloved autism creature Laios, and despite them coming out the other side still ride or die besties people have decided He Must Be Evil, so you get nuance-allergic takes like “HE PAID MONEY FOR HER THIS IS SLAVERY”

She was trained as a ninja and asked to help with chores like clearing snow off the roof in exchange for housing and food. Her only objection to staying was she didn’t like someone else picking what she ate day to day

To be fair though, the actual purpose of the curse was never addressed in the original source material (because it’s not particularly relevant), so a lot of people did get left with the idea that it would actually hurt or kill Izutsumi

It’s included in the Dungeon Guide, as is the nod that the curse is a fucking ridiculous thing to put on kids and an incredibly bad idea; this is why ninjas are not ideal governesses

There are so many things to rag on the Nakamoto family for. Refusing to understand that service to a feudal lord is not slavery just because it’s not what you were raised with is not one of them

The curse is, and much more personally satisfying to my mind, but people get real upset when you take their buzzwords away and it’s easier to cry “slavery!!!” than think for five minutes about another culture where you might be expected to have a duty to those who feed, shelter, train, and care for you

They didn’t let a marginalised preteen whose body had already been experimented on against her will run out into the woods alone, the greatest curtailment of freedom known to man

But for some reason admitting that they were missing key pieces of information and context is also a terribly difficult thing to do, so people would rather dig in and insist that understanding the concept of the feudal system is the same as supporting slavery

Not surprising on tumblr dot com, but always disappointing

For some people being wrong is terrifying and a personal attack that must be crushed

[alvoskia]

Were Ally and Jamie always meant to be Asian or was that something that became a thing organically or something that you (the author) found to be more fitting?

Looking back I think I was always writing an immigrant narrative through them, even though I wasn't thinking of it consciously — this is pretty early into the first book / series plans, but Ally was raised in the far west by the Wolf Children packs for Story-Plot-Backstory reasons, and only came to the (human) Citadel when she was around six. Jamie followed about a year later basically being a refugee from Kilvoskia. So you had two kids grappling with cultural diaspora and healing in addition to a newfound twin sister! Language barriers, missing pieces of a home you can't entirely go home to, building a new one, their accents being different from their friends', etc.

While they were originally white (and the blonde hair is a holdover, although now there's in-universe cultural/religious reasons for dyeing it) I realized in around 2017 that like... they probably should be characters of colour? This was also motivated from talks about Rogue One where the main team was all men of colour but they were still led by the one (1) white woman and I knew I didn't want that. There are also plenty of stories/texts where having the storyline belong to a non-white character can also elevate and groove better with the text in ways the original didn't have layers for, i.e. Annabeth being Black in the PJO tv show.

I also wanted to make sure that if I did change their race, it worked for their characterization / story beats and their parents without falling into stereotypes or anything like that. You never want to white wash character construction or you can get some really poor implications / outright racist storytelling (Voltron, I'm looking at you).

For example, I knew them being Indigenous (as Alvoskia and Kilvoskia both have multiple Indigenous peoples within them) was out, because while I was like that could work for Jamie's death powers, I felt like Ally (supposed to be having) Life/nature related powers would be toeing a line I wasn't comfortable walking for obvious reasons. We also eventually get some more background on their parents / family history that I wanted to keep in mind.

My partner is also Asian (Filipino) so I just kind of wrote towards 1) what isn't often seen in media for characters, 2) what could be subversive (Ally being the one who's behind in her group of friends), 3) what was already there allegory wise (Ally growing up around shapeshifters who are literally black-and-white for example and feeling like an outsider among them), and 4) what was gonna be validating for the Asian and mixed Asian people I know / resources online.

Upon making the decision I then leaned into certain aspects to flesh out further (the history of the city where their mother is from, treating their anger like a valid and scary thing because - especially shorter - Asian women's anger is either not allowed or not taken seriously) and do my homework. Now I can't imagine 'em any other way

[raging-violets]

you've always been the most important person in my life. + kiley?

A/N: Saw in this post, that you were feeling nostalgic and it kicked my ass into gear to get this one up. There is also a Rated M/Explicit version of this I'm working on as well! And despite where I cut it off with a read more, this is not an heavy angsty piece, it's a fluffy one!

-

Riley had been sitting through a more than boring business meeting—who the hell actually cared what countries brought in the most clicks on their social media pages?—when she got the phone call.

Thank God, she thought, twisting her features to make an exaggerated expression of apology before slipping out of the board room. She could practically feel the jealous glares of her brothers and sister as she escaped the tedium of the day to slip outside.

Riley glanced at the number that came up on the screen and sighed lightly. Not recognizing it, a bit of trepidation rolled through her stomach. Most people had anxiety about talking on the phone, that never bothered her. She loved talking on the phone, but when it was unknown numbers, it was what made an eyebrow quirk.

Especially after that time some more than exuberant fans had managed to sleuth their ways through the internet and leak her phone number. A few well-timed cease and desist letters and strongly worked police involvement had nipped that in the bud.

Now, unknown numbers gave her pause. But something in her gut told her to answer it.

“Hello?”

“I’m sorry, to bother you ma’am,” came the voice on the other end of the line. Riley’s hackles immediately started to rise. No one called her ma’am. Her cheeks started to flush, ready to take on whomever decided to grab her number once more. Especially when it continued with, “but is this… Riley…?” trailing off a second as if they were determining if they’d actually called her, “Oh, Riley Jackson?”

She sucked in a deep breath through her nose, working to keep her temper in check and focused on the tone of the voice speaking to her. It didn’t sound young enough to be a fan, but that’d tripped her up before.

“Speaking,” she replied flatly.

“This is Mason Lee, I’m calling from the Los Angeles Sports Center.” Riley’s eyebrows came together. “And you’re listed as the emergency contact for Kendall Knight, I’m afraid there’s been an incident.”

All at once, Riley felt the heat leave her face as concern took over. “Is he okay?”

“He’s had a nasty collision while on the ice, so if you could come in, we could discuss the extent of his injuries.”

Riley pressed her lips together. Logan had always been vocal about what certain words of injuries meant. Not to mention her own dreams of being a doctor…and all of the time she’d spent in doctor’s offices due to her injuries from Robert. If a doctor wanted to speak to someone in person, it either meant there was a serious injury or a serious run of recovery that was needed.

“What the fuck did you do now, Hockey-Head?”

“Ma’am?”

Riley chuckled to herself, not realizing she’d said her mental questions out loud. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 Riley quickly sent a text message to Ronan about leaving the rest of the meeting, and hurried to the sports complex.

When she arrived and was taken back to the medicine room, Riley twisted her fingers together. Her blood pressure rose with each step she took, breath coming up faster and faster. With every step she took, images of the time spent in hospitals and doctor’s offices flashed through her head. A broken arm here, a busted lip there, cuts, bruises, sprains, abrasions. All the ways one could be abused flew through her mind.

It'd been a few years since Robert had been removed as her foster parent and had been charged and sentenced, but the memories were always fresh. It was no wonder she’d frozen when taking the MCAT with Logan.

The terror she worked hard to hide must’ve been emblazoned across her face as she scanned the area because a Asian man wearing a grey polo with the complex’s name on the front strode toward her.

“Miss. Jackson?” He asked. “I’m Mason Lee.”

“You can call me, Riley, mate,” she said quickly. “Is Kendall okay?”

Mason Lee chuckled. “Kendall’s going to be okay. I just wanted you to be aware of what happened. Kendall was practicing on the ice and he got into an altercation with some other players out here. They went around a few times and went into the boards and they’ve received some injuries.”

Folding her arms, Riley jutted out her hip. “What was the bloody fight about?” She knew the answer before it was given, then nodded when Mason said, “From what I can understand, the other guys were giving him a hard time about being in a boyband and playing hockey…”

Mason smiled at the roll of her eyes. “He’s in good spirits, but he’s gotten a few injuries. He’ll need a lot of rest and he needs to stay off the ice for the next couple of weeks. He won’t be able to perform for the next couple of weeks as well.”

“Well, he’s sustained multiple injuries, but with plenty rest, and lots of pain killers, he’ll make full recovery in no time I’m sure,” Lance explained, lifting a weight off Merlin as he spoke, “he’s very lucky he came out of this with what he did, it could have been much worse.”

She nodded, still twisting her fingers together despite them being tucked out of site. The quicker she saw him, the quicker she’d be able to breathe.

“And as if it, we don’t tolerate fighting here so he’s banned from the complex for the same amount of time he’ll be in recovery.”

“I don’t expect he’ll dislike anything less,” Riley murmured. She ran a hand through her hair, briefly closing her eyes. When she opened them she asked, “Can I see him?”

“Absolutely, he’s been asking for you.”

They walked into the room Kendall was in and he immediately looked up and smiled when he saw Riley coming toward him despite the frustration and aggression that sagged his shoulders forward. He reached out a hand that Riley took and immediately wrapped him up in a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close to him.

She breathed in deeply, taking in the scent that was him and feeling him strong and study despite the bandages coating a wrist and his foot.

“Are you okay?”

It took a moment for Riley to realize Kendall was asking her the question, not her asking him.

“Yeah,” she replied, pulling back to look him in the eye. Her expression softened into a mixture of compassion and frustration; much like any girlfriend would have for a boyfriend who managed to hurt themselves. “Are you?”

Kendall smiled a sweet smile, bringing his hands down to grab hers. “You’re shaking,” he said.

She was trembling like a leaf. He knew she hated hospitals. And it wasn’t even a fucking hospital. “You called me here!”

“And you came,” Kendall replied, sounding like a proud little boy.

Riley rolled her eyes. She grasped Kendall’s face and kissed him. “I came,” she replied. “Of course I would. What happened?”

“I got into a fight.”

“I can see that!”

Kendall shot her a look, his face softening the moment their eyes met, and he sighed, shaking his head. “It was stupid, I was just skating around. And these guys started to hassle me about getting into the junior leagues and being in a boyband and…it was dumb.”

“Fucking right, boofhead,” Riley shot back. “Your leg’s broken!”

“It’s sprained,” he said, trying to placate her. “And so’s my wrist.” He kissed her again. “I’m fine, Ruby, I promise.”

Riley sighed, her shoulders slumping. “What’d your mum say?”

He looked at her. “She doesn’t know yet.”

Her eyebrows flew up at that, dark blue eyes widening. “She doesn’t know?”

“No, I only called you.”

Riley thought for a moment, thinking back to what Mason Lee had told her. Emergency contact… She took in a surprised breath through her nose, then studied her boyfriend. Her blonde, bandaged, boofheaded boyfriend.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he added quickly, taking her silence for anger. “Not on purpose, Riles, I swear I wouldn’t scare you like this on purpose.”

But she wasn’t thinking about that. Shek new he never would. No, she continued to roll the words Emergency Contact through her head, almost as if it were a mantra. “You didn’t call your mum?” she asked. Kendall shrugged. “You put me as your emergency contact, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Kendall looked her in the eye. “You’re the most important person in my life, Riles. You’ve always been the most important person in my life. If there’s anyone I want by my side with this hockey stuff, the good and the bad, it’s you.”

Riley smiled and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his, gently rubbed her nose against his. Ignored her want to make a comment about his nose poking out her eye, ignored her initial reaction to remind him that James would probably have something to say about that. Simply basked in the vulnerable moment with her boyfriend who she loved dearly, no matter how many stupid hockey injuries he would end up getting. He was about to go into the junior hockey league, it was probably going to happen more as time went on.

Time to get used to it.

“And if it didn’t hurt like hell to move right now,” his voice dropped to a low murmur. “I’d show you how important you are to me…”

“Fuck off,” she leaned back and pushed his head aside as he chuckled. She reached up and ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s get you back to the crib. I think you’ve had enough fun for today.”

After getting more care instructions from the facility’s medical team, Kendall and Riley went back to 2J, with Riley holding the door as he stubbornly worked his crutches through the lobby and up to the room. She motioned for him to sit on the couch before disappearing into the kitchen to get him some food.

She’d turned back around to find him stretched out on the couch, watching her carefully. “What?” She asked.

“Nothing, just…” Kendall smiled serenely, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She walked back over to him and leaned over, giving him a long kiss. “Especially because your call got me out of the most boring meeting I’ve ever sat through.”

“I’m so glad that both of us are getting something out of this.”

“What are you getting?”

“Time away from Gustavo.” Riley laughed at Kendall’s quick response. “And my own personal nurse.”

At that, Riley shook her head. She reached out for Kendall’s hand and hefted him to his feet before leading him toward the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” Kendall asked.

“I’m running you a bath,” Riley replied, her nose wrinkled, eyes flashing. “As much as I like it when you smell like sweat…you really smell gross.”

[a-dotrivenitupontop]

why you should vote for david brittlesbee in the @epicdivorcemantournament. a powerpoint presentation (tumblr post) by me:

•in just the pilot episode of mythic quest david gets excluded from company meetings, has his assistant abandon him for another guy and calls one of his workers ‘mom’

•he’s the boss at a video game company but the divorce fucked him up so badly no one accepts that he’s even a boss (this kinda shifts in s3 but eh. spoilers)

•oh yeah his parents also got divorced. so. y’know double whammy innit. just one divorce after another for this poor little meow meow

•“are we at your divorce trial right now? because i just watched a hot asian chick rip out your heart”

-brad bakshi, s1 e10

•my man CONSTANTLY uses divorce to project onto his workplace. whenever the main characters fight david always draws comparisons to his divorce (especially in s2)

•to score david a date the aforementioned brad had to train him to talk to women using a simulator called ‘divorcee dance party’

•he did score a date though. only he forgot her name and the relationship lasted like six episodes. the reason they broke up? he got down on TWO knees and BEGGED for marriage. slay queen

•also before using the dating sim david used pictures of his wedding day on his dating app profile. and a video of him reviewing bikes. that’s a crucial piece of information too

•his ex wife kicked him out of his own home forcing him to live in motherfucking cerritos (op in br*tish and has no idea what a cerritos is but assumes it’s something to describe as ‘motherfucking’)

•“you know who didn’t have trouble finding a man? your ex-wife”

-poppy li, s1 e2

•in an episode where each character got given a workplace animal personality thing david got wolf and spent the episode bragging about it. only he did the test the wrong way and turned to be a butterfly. this isn’t directly related to divorce but i do think it’s pathetic of david

•when two of his employees (amongst a couple others but they’re irreverent rn) quit to work at a new company in the basement david was so fucked up by this that he was implied to have almost attempted suicide. we stan a depression-ridden mess who would rather kill himself than lose his found family and relive the trauma of his divorce. heart emoticon

•anyways here’s a compilation of david being Pathetic for your entertainment

[sapphirefallschronicles]

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - chapter 7 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: Sy thinks about Livia and the time they spend together as teens.

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: None

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

I had kissed her once. It was when we were fourteen and were discussing first kisses. It was there and then I discovered Livia had never kissed before. Someone as beautiful and desired in our town by many kids at our school, I was sure she had kissed someone before.

However, that wasn’t the case.

Livia Darmandi had never kissed someone.

But after our first kiss and therefore hers, we never acknowledged it anymore. But here we were, sitting underneath the dark sky, filled with shining stars. Stargazing was something I would never voluntarily admit to anyone I enjoyed doing. However with Livia I didn’t hide my love for it. 

My parents were inside, Chris was at practice and Abigail was probably in her room, staring at the damn camera of hers that appeared to have grown against her hand. 

I preferred being outside anyways, but like everything else, it was nicer when I was in the presence of Livia. Already clothed in a thick sweater, she was still shivering as the night grew colder and like always, I would hand her my jacket.

‘Nights like this are my favorite,’ she whispered. ‘It’s the darkness, resembling the mind  and its darkest secrets, while there are also tiny stars, tiny silver linings of life.’ Livia turned to the side. ‘Don’t you think?’

‘Maybe,’ I mumbled, nowhere near as poetic as she was. ‘I just like to hope for a shooting star.’

‘And if you were to see one, what would you wish for?’

‘You,’ I said in a joking tone, though I meant it wholeheartedly.

‘Why would you wish for me? I’m already here.’

‘Yeah, but you forever. That you are gonna be my best friend forever.’

Livia smiled. ‘You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Caleb Syverson. I’m almost like endless weeds. Always there, even when you don’t want it.’

‘Bold of you to assume I would ever want to get rid of you.’

There was a long silence between us, but it was different than other times. When we first kissed, we hesitated, but because Livia said she didn’t want her first kiss to be with a random person, instead with someone she trusted, we overcame our hesitation.

And this silence, it felt like I went back in time. 

Back to that moment.

‘Kiss me, Liv.’ It left my lips before I even realized it, however Livia didn’t appear to be in shock. Maybe she felt the same thing I felt.

But nonetheless she shook her head. ‘I can’t,’ she whispered. ‘Sy, we’re friends and I always want to be your friend. Forever and ever. I can’t lose anyone so important over a kiss.’

‘Just one kiss,’ I said, my tone hoarse. 

She blinked her eyes, her beautiful dark eyes hiding all that despair behind them, never once letting me in completely. Only showing shatters and bits and pieces. And then she leaned over, pressing her soft lips on mine, her small and slender hand on my cheek. I held her close, as I never wanted to let go, never wanted to stop kissing her, but she pulled back way too quick. ‘Just one kiss.’

Instead of listening, I leaned in again for just a short moment. Just to steal one more peck of her. She accepted the invitation and answered it with a deeper kiss. 

Don’t let go, Liv, I thought to myself. Please, whatever you do, don’t let go. 

At first she didn’t, her arm wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer to her. There were many things I wanted to tell her. Screw us being friends, I want to be your boyfriend and for you to be my girlfriend.

But I didn’t. And then she pulled back. ‘Friends,’ she told me, though she was probably most like telling herself. ‘We’re best friends, Sy. Forever.’

●・○・●・○・●

Working on the farm means that you’re always getting dirty, so there is no use in me investing in high quality clothes, when lumberjack blouses, simply shirts and jeans suffice. I am cleaning the stables, where we keep the horses among other animals. While we have a few horses, Regina continues to be my favorite. 

Regina was my mother’s horse. No matter how long it has been since mom passed away, I still miss her on a daily basis and spending my time around Regina helps me reconnect with memories I had with my mom. Regina is an older horse, so we barely use her to ride. She’s mostly a nice introduction, for when kids want to pet a horse but are a little afraid. Regina is calm, sweet and patient. 

‘Never walk behind a horse, otherwise you get rightfully kicked in the face,’ I hear a very familiar voice say from behind me. Livia never had a deep voice, but when she pretends, it sounds weird and a little funny. ‘If I remember correctly, those were your exact words.’

With a smirk I turn around. ‘You sure listened well and have the memory of an elephant and I mean that in the nicest way possible.’

‘I’m deeply touched.’ Livia looks casual, with a simple sweater, skinny jeans and boots. The other day, during our reconnecting time here on the ranch, she dressed up a little. Even wore green. I truly think green brings out her best features. She looks beautiful in green. She always looked put together, but seeing her casual like this, I like it. ‘Poop scooting?’

‘You are right.’

‘I’ll leave you to it then. A proper lady never touches animal feces,’ she jokes with a dignified voice. 

‘You came for Abigail?’

She shakes her head. ‘No, I came for you. It’s shocking to see how there is no queue here, desperate for one glance of Caleb Syverson.’

I’m not following. ‘What?’

‘Come on, I just got back from the store. Those gossipy old hags are still there. They recognized me and asked me if I knew whether or not the Syverson boy was dating.’ She smiles and adds: ‘Look at you, the bachelor of Sapphire Falls.’

I shrug, before I continue to clean up the stables. 

She leans in the doorway. ‘Don’t you want to settle down?’ Livia asks.

‘I’m in no rush.’ I look up to her and ask: ‘What about you?’

‘Well,’ she says, ‘it turns out, I absolutely suck at relationships. Can barely hold a relationship together, so… No settling down for me, I suppose.’

‘What was his name again?’

‘Ian. Big city boy.’

‘That’s where you went wrong, Liv. Those big city boys are no good.’ I try to make it sound like I’m joking and in reality I am, but this is about the guy who dumped Liv, multiple times. I feel I have the right to absolutely despise and loathe him. 

‘I know,’ she says in all seriousness. ‘I know that now. So, I shouldn’t expect ‘The Bachelor, Sapphire Falls’ edition anytime soon?’

‘Nah,’ I chuckle. ‘You know how I am with cameras.’

Livia nods. ‘I do. Promise me, before I head back to New York, we take a picture together. You and me.’

Part of me wishes she isn’t going back to New York, but knowing I can’t tell her that, I nod. ‘Of course.’

A second goes by, followed by another, before Livia clears her throat. ‘Now, hurry up with cleaning, so you and I can hang out.’

‘We can hang out here.’

She shakes her head. ‘Ew no, I’m part city girl now. This smell is absolutely appalling.’

[keeekii]

Kea Ki Jung

(So…Apparently…. I’m dramatic… Shibal)

~™ BASICS INFORMATION ¿~

~™ birth name ¿~

-Kea Ki Jung

~™ nicknames and meanings ¿~

-Keke

-Keki

~™ birthdate ¿~

15/.4.2004

~™ zodiac sign ¿~

Aries

~™ face claim ¿~:4uvrslatt

asian and black

~™ nationality ¿~

Setswana-Korean

~™languages spoken ¿~

↳ Setswana— 100%

↳ korean — 100%

↳ english — 95%

↳Mandarin—52%

~™ gender ¿~

Female

~™ pronouns ¿~

She/her

~™ sexuality ¿~

straight

~™ weight ¿~

59 kgs

~™ height ¿~

165cm

~™ blood type ¿~

AB-

~™ hair colour ¿~

Dark brown

~™ eye colour ¿~

Hazel brown

~™ CAREER INFORMATION ¿~

~™ occupation ¿~

Artist/Youtuber/Dance teacher

~™ future goals ¿~

To just live life and make one more person happy whether it be cause she helped them be confident and find their style or make home cooked food and maybe baking as well.

~™ business ¿~

She works for both parents in both fields,having designed her dads work attire and her and her mom made it,she works as a chief for her dads restaurant as well as she is a waitress for her dad as well.

~™ signature ¿~

Kea.JG

~™ social media ¿~

⇲ instagram ¿~

Keki_JG

⇲ TikTok ¿~

Stvrfire_lvy

⇲ twitter ¿~

KekiJG

⇲ youtube ¿~

Keki Jung

⇲ facebook ¿~ -

~™ stats ¿~

⃘ public speaking : 90/100%

⃘ intelligence : 92/100%

⃘ memory : 65/100%

⃘ endurance : 90/100%

⃘ strength : 89/100%

⃘ stability : 66/100%

⃘ consistency : 32/100%

⃘ flexibility : 95/100%

⃘ speed : 92/100%

⃘ stamina : 10p/100%

⃘ cooking skills : 94/100%

⃘ driving skills : 65/100%

~™color representation ¿~ light purple

~™ representative emoji ¿~ 🐻‍❄️(polar bear)

~™ catchphrase ¿~

Seis nigger

~™ career background ¿~

Growing up both in Southern Africa and South Korea,she loves to design clothes and just anything to do with clothes,most of the things she likes doing is cause she watched her parents and older brothers do it first,she was a little kid model for her mother.

~™ physical traits ¿~

She had freakles littering her face

She had one dimple on her rigth cheek.

~™ body modifications ¿~

Ear piecings on both ears

~™ habits/mannerisms ¿~

Gets lost yet knows how to navigate around without trying much, after getting lost so much it's just natural to find her way.

Way to facial expression, she can't control her expressions during conversations so many people take her for a stand off-is type of girl or a men's girl even if it's not her actual intentions though she gets irrated very easily.

Mimics people's actions unconsciously, she did it alot as a kid and in general never really cared about doing so, she copied anyone she likes being around or admires.

She snorts alot when she laughs.

She speaks in Amharic or uses South African slang a bit too much, unintentionally it just comes out.

~™ fashion style ¿~ Style(1)

~™ family ¿~

She belongs to a good family, not poor but definitely not rich, she has 4 older brothers one being her twin and 4 younger brothers, she is the only girl in the family, in her family there is no such thing as gender so fights can get physical between children, that how she got her confrontational tendencies from, her mom is the sweetest person she knows always willing to help her kids when they need it, but she is also scary, especially when mad, her dad is actually the most sweetest if it comes down to it, but he can be very strict especially coming from a super strict household himself, the family is very tight knit, everyone has each other's back no matter what, family is very important since they believe it's their day one's.

~™ mental health and conditions ¿~

Anger issues (quite often but it's mainly irration issues)

Anxiety (slight)

~™ allergies ¿~

Nuts(all types), pollen, bee stings

~™ TRIVIAL INFORMATION ¿~

~™ education ¿~

Growing up Kea fell under pressure to get good marks and be great at sports, her parents always said school years is what takes you forward, so she made sure she was able to get over 85 each term /semester, she soon got first place in her last year with an average of 90% on most grades, she liked sports the most especially dance and basketball, she was very social as well, she wasn't popular but she was known, she wasn't the nicest a lot of people didn't like her attitude or her smart mouth but she survived to be able to get a scholarship instead of her parents using money to on her.

~™ academic achievements ¿~

She got top of her grade her her final year, she joined the Gauteng team when she lived in South Africa for debating and basketball.

When she got to Korea she ranked first place in debating for her age division in her area, and made it to the south Korean gymnastics team and got gold for her ball and ribbon dances.

~™ likes ¿~

Pink Carnation flowers

Dimples

Sporta

Animals

Cooking/baking

Music

Dancing

Making drinks even if she doesn't drink most of them.

~™ dislikes ¿~

Nuts

Staying in one spot for to long

People touching her hair or her in general too much if she doesn't like or know them.

Disrespect

Overly sensitive people

Geography

Dry texters

~™ skills and hobbies ¿~

Dancing, she absolutely loves to dance no matter what genre of dance it is.

Playing the drums (she can play any other instrument very well, except the violen, she just ends up breaking them)

She loves baking and cooking especially for her family and loved ones, it's always nice making people their favorite things and they love it.

She has a good way of taking care of children, she is gentle yet is the exact same as herself too them.

~™ favorite subjects ¿~

English

Maths

Sotho

PE

Biology

Dramatic arts

~™ favorite genre ¿~

Thriller

Comedy

Agnst

~™ favorite colors ¿~

Dull and light purples

Black

White

~™ favorite number(s) ¿~

2,just cause it's the first even number and cause there is two of her(her twin brother)

~™ favorite season(s) ¿~

Winter and spring, she loves to build snow art and likes pushing her siblings in piles of leafs.

~™ favorite celebrities ¿~

Tyler the creator, Tupac Shakur, Kanye west, DJ Maphorisa, Cassper Nyovest, Kwesta, Black Coffee

~™ favorite characters ¿~

Princess Tiana (she loved the move princess and the frog cause she believed that if Tiana was a princess and could own a bakery so could she.

Jerry the mouse (she thought Jerry was adorable even if he was a menace)

~™ favorite movies ¿~

Princess and the frog, the notebook, adventure time, The Green Mile, Alien.

~™ favorite tv shows ¿~

The king of pigs, Vincenzo, strangers from hell, Weak hero class.

~™ her released songs: Name~2+2=Me

~™ favourite foods ¿~

Injera, berbere potatoes, veal dumplings(and alot of spicy things)

~™ favourite drinks ¿~

Stoney, soju, granadila flavored water

~™ role model(s) ¿~

TorrikuYonas Jung(her eldest brother)

~™motto ¿~ “If you fail then lol don't fail again"

~™ ideal type ¿~

She really isn't peaky, she has no type but they preferably have to be taller then her.

Someone who she can talk to freely and not feel restricted with how she can talk to them.

She likes when going out, so she would like to head out and do something even if it's a late night walk on a beach or in a park just the two of them eating ice cream.

~™ Extra INFORMATION¿~

She has two pets, one Doberman named Bo, she named him Bo after po from Kangfu panda, but po didn't math him so she named him Bo.She also has a pet rabbit named Thumper she named after Thumper from Bambi the movie.

She is a sucker for music, wether it be dancing, singing rapping or whatever, especially dancing.

She dosent like seafood all to much.

She once took a baby bird from the streets and raised it only for it to be a pegion after it grew up so she kicked it out let it free.

She has a note book of memories and a jaw of memories from different times growing up she still keeps track even now.

She is a daddy girls, her father is sun(her mom is still sort of the favorite) .

She has been in multiple fights growing up with her siblings and people at school both verbally and physically.

She is sort of a smart mouth and will talk back and not back down unless proven with facts and receipts that she's wrong.

[richincolor]

[Images are the covers for Gloria Buenrostro is Not My Girlfriend, Permanent Record, and When You Wish Upon a Lantern]

On the Job

This week I visited a bookstore and there were young people skipping through the store making lively instagram posts while they were working. It struck me that they would be awesome characters in a young adult novel and I would totally read that. Here are a dozen titles that feature young people hard at work. Of course the list begins with a story that takes place in a bookstore.

This is All Your Fault by Aminah Mae Safi Feiwel & Friends

Rinn Olivera is finally going to tell her longtime crush AJ that she’s in love with him.

Daniella Korres writes poetry for her own account, but nobody knows it’s her.

Imogen Azar is just trying to make it through the day.

When Rinn, Daniella, and Imogen clock into work at Wild Nights Bookstore on the first day of summer, they’re expecting the hours to drift by the way they always do. Instead, they have to deal with the news that the bookstore is closing. Before the day is out, there’ll be shaved heads, a diva author, and a very large shipment of Air Jordans to contend with.

And it will take all three of them working together if they have any chance to save Wild Nights Bookstore.

The Boy in the Black Suit by Jason Reynolds Atheneum Books for Young Readers [K. Imani's Review]

Just when seventeen-year-old Matt thinks he can’t handle one more piece of terrible news, he meets a girl who’s dealt with a lot more—and who just might be able to clue him in on how to rise up when life keeps knocking him down—in this wry, gritty novel from the author of When I Was the Greatest.

Matt wears a black suit every day. No, not because his mom died—although she did, and it sucks. But he wears the suit for his gig at the local funeral home, which pays way better than the Cluck Bucket, and he needs the income since his dad can’t handle the bills (or anything, really) on his own. So while Dad’s snagging bottles of whiskey, Matt’s snagging fifteen bucks an hour. Not bad. But everything else? Not good. Then Matt meets Lovey. She’s got a crazy name, and she’s been through more crazy than he can imagine. Yet Lovey never cries. She’s tough. Really tough. Tough in the way Matt wishes he could be. Which is maybe why he’s drawn to her, and definitely why he can’t seem to shake her. Because there’s nothing more hopeful than finding a person who understands your loneliness—and who can maybe even help take it away.

When You Wish Upon a Lantern by Gloria Chao Viking

Liya and Kai had been best friends since they were little kids, but all that changed when a humiliating incident sparked The Biggest Misunderstanding Of All Time—and they haven’t spoken since.

Then Liya discovers her family’s wishing lantern store is struggling, and she decides to resume a tradition she had with her beloved late grandmother: secretly fulfilling the wishes people write on the lanterns they send into the sky. It may boost sales and save the store, but she can’t do it alone . . . and Kai is the only one who cares enough to help.

While working on their covert missions, Liya and Kai rekindle their friendship—and maybe more. But when their feuding families and their changing futures threaten to tear them apart again, can they find a way to make their own wishes come true?

Café Con Lychee by Emery Lee Quill Tree Books [Audrey's Review]

Sometimes bitter rivalries can brew something sweet

Theo Mori wants to escape. Leaving Vermont for college means getting away from working at his parents’ Asian American café and dealing with their archrivals’ hopeless son Gabi who’s lost the soccer team more games than Theo can count.

Gabi Moreno is miserably stuck in the closet. Forced to play soccer to hide his love for dance and iced out by Theo, the only openly gay guy at school, Gabi’s only reprieve is his parents’ Puerto Rican bakery and his plans to take over after graduation.

But the town’s new fusion café changes everything. Between the Mori’s struggling shop and the Moreno’s plan to sell their bakery in the face of the competition, both boys find their dreams in jeopardy. Then Theo has an idea—sell photo-worthy food covertly at school to offset their losses. When he sprains his wrist and Gabi gets roped in to help, they realize they need to work together to save their parents’ shops but will the new feelings rising between them be enough to send their future plans up in smoke?

Darius the Great Deserves Better (Darius The Great #2) by Adib Khorram Dial Books for Young Readers

In this companion to the award-winning Darius the Great Is Not Okay, Darius suddenly has it all: a boyfriend, an internship, a spot on the soccer team. It’s everything he’s ever wanted–but what if he deserves better?

Darius Kellner is having a bit of a year. Since his trip to Iran this past spring, a lot has changed. He’s getting along with his dad, and his best friend Sohrab is only a Skype call away. Between his first boyfriend, Landon, his varsity soccer practices, and his internship at his favorite tea shop, Darius is feeling pretty okay. Like he finally knows what it means to be Darius Kellner.

Then, of course, everything changes. Darius’s grandmothers are in town for a long visit while his dad is gone on business, and Darius isn’t sure whether they even like him. The internship isn’t what Darius thought it would be, and now he doesn’t know about turning tea into his career. He was sure he liked Landon, but when he starts hanging out with Chip–soccer teammate and best friend of Trent Bolger, epic bully–well, he’s just not so sure about Landon anymore, either.

Darius thought he knew exactly who he was and what he wanted, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe he deserves better.

K-pop Confidential by Stephan Lee Point [Crystal's Review]

Candace Park knows a lot about playing a role. For most of her life, she's been playing the role of the quiet Korean girl who takes all AP classes and plays a classical instrument, keeping her dreams of stardom-and her obsession with SLK, K-pop's top boyband-to herself. She doesn't see how a regular girl like her could possibly become one of those K-pop goddesses she sees on YouTube. Even though she can sing. Like, really sing.

So when Candace secretly enters a global audition held by SLK's music label, the last thing she expects is to actually get a coveted spot in their trainee program. And convincing her strict parents to let her to go is all but impossible ... although it's nothing compared to what comes next.

Under the strict supervision of her instructors at the label's headquarters in Seoul, Candace must perfect her performance skills to within an inch of her life, learn to speak Korean fluently, and navigate the complex hierarchies of her fellow trainees, all while following the strict rules of the industry. Rule number one? NO DATING, which becomes impossible to follow when she meets a dreamy boy trainee. And in the all-out battle to debut, Candace is in danger of planting herself in the middle of a scandal lighting up the K-pop fandom around the world.

If she doesn't have what it takes to become a perfect, hair-flipping K-pop idol, what will that mean for her family, who have sacrificed everything to give her the chance? And is a spot in the most hyped K-pop girl group of all time really worth risking her friendships, her future, and everything she believes in?

A Pho Love Story by Loan Le Simon Pulse

If Bao Nguyen had to describe himself, he’d say he was a rock. Steady and strong, but not particularly interesting. His grades are average, his social status unremarkable. He works at his parents’ pho restaurant, and even there, he is his parents’ fifth favorite employee. Not ideal.

If Linh Mai had to describe herself, she’d say she was a firecracker. Stable when unlit, but full of potential for joy and spark and fire. She loves art and dreams pursuing a career in it. The only problem? Her parents rely on her in ways they’re not willing to admit, including working practically full-time at her family’s pho restaurant.

For years, the Mais and the Nguyens have been at odds, having owned competing, neighboring phở restaurants. Bao and Linh, who’ve avoided each other for most of their lives, both suspect that the feud stems from feelings much deeper than friendly competition.

But then a chance encounter brings Linh and Bao together despite their best efforts and sparks fly, leading them both to wonder what took so long for them to connect. But then, of course, they immediately remember.

Can Linh and Bao find love in the midst of feuding families and complicated histories?

Permanent Record by Mary H.K. Choi Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers [Crystal's Review]

After a year of college, Pablo is working at his local twenty-four-hour deli, selling overpriced snacks to brownstone yuppies. He’s dodging calls from the student loan office and he has no idea what his next move is.

Leanna Smart’s life so far has been nothing but success. Age eight: Disney Mouseketeer; Age fifteen: first #1 single on the US pop chart; Age seventeen, *tenth* #1 single; and now, at Age nineteen…life is a queasy blur of private planes, weird hotel rooms, and strangers asking for selfies on the street.

When Leanna and Pab randomly meet at 4:00 a.m. in the middle of a snowstorm in Brooklyn, they both know they can’t be together forever. So, they keep things on the down-low and off Instagram for as long as they can. But it takes about three seconds before the world finds out…

The Way You Make Me Feel by Maurene Goo Farrar, Straus and Giroux [Jessica's Review]

Clara Shin lives for pranks and disruption. When she takes one joke too far, her dad sentences her to a summer working on his food truck, the KoBra, alongside her uptight classmate Rose Carver. Not the carefree summer Clara had imagined. But maybe Rose isn’t so bad. Maybe the boy named Hamlet (yes, Hamlet) crushing on her is pretty cute. Maybe Clara actually feels invested in her dad’s business. What if taking this summer seriously means that Clara has to leave her old self behind?

Symptoms of a Heartbreak by Sona Charaipotra Imprint [K. Iman's Review]

The youngest doctor in America, an Indian-American teen makes her rounds―and falls head over heels―in the contemporary romantic comedy Symptoms of a Heartbreak.

Fresh from med school, sixteen-year-old medical prodigy Saira arrives for her first day at her new job: treating children with cancer. She’s always had to balance family and friendships with her celebrity as the Girl Genius―but she’s never had to prove herself to skeptical adult co-workers while adjusting to real life-and-death stakes. And working in the same hospital as her mother certainly isn’t making things any easier.

But life gets complicated when Saira finds herself falling in love with a patient: a cute teen boy who’s been diagnosed with cancer. And when she risks her brand new career to try to improve his chances, it could cost her everything.

It turns out “heartbreak” is the one thing she still doesn’t know how to treat.

In her solo debut, Sona Charaipotra brings us a compelling #ownvoices protagonist who’s not afraid to chase what she wants. Symptoms of a Heartbreak goes from romantic comedy highs to tearjerker lows and is the ultimate cure-all for young adult readers needing an infusion of something heartfelt.

The Downstairs Girl by Stacey Lee G.P. Putnam’s Sons [Crystal's Review]

Atlanta, 1890: By day, seventeen-year-old Jo Kuan works as a lady’s maid for the cruel daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Atlanta. But by night, Jo moonlights as the pseudonymous author of a newspaper advice column for the genteel Southern lady, “Dear Miss Sweetie.” When her column becomes wildly popular, she uses the power of the pen to address some of society’s ills, but she’s not prepared for the backlash that follows when her column challenges fixed ideas about race and gender.

While her opponents clamor to uncover the secret identity of Miss Sweetie, a mysterious letter sets Jo off on a search for her own past and the parents who abandoned her as a baby. But when her efforts put her in the crosshairs of Atlanta’s most notorious criminal, Jo must decide whether she, a girl used to living in the shadows, is ready to step into the light. With prose that is witty, insightful, and at times heartbreaking, Stacey Lee masterfully crafts an extraordinary social drama set in the New South.