#((and then people Percieve It it's nuts to me))

[tiresomespaceplant]

perfectly normal work place comedy (nothing of note happens)

[ballad-of-the-lamb]

Thy Ballad, I have a question for thee. What inspired you to make the designs for the cat and the lamb? I've not really seen many who puts the lamb as a more muscular force, while having the cat more of a stick figure that looks like he can't compare to the lambs lift

i like big bitches

[monstriiss]

.

[sigmxnd]

okay poll is saying yes so im going for it (this is gonna get very rambly and might not all connect or be coherent but oh well)

i've realized i love taking my favorite characters and putting a bunch of the same hcs to them cause i like making my favorites more like me

i know why this happens, its cause im silly and i look at these characters and my brain just goes "i like that" and then i just ARYARAYAEAGA4AYA and get rabies, but also like a lot of the time i look at these characters that more often than not i see myself in them

these stupid dumb dirt eating rebellious evil losers just exist and i see stuff happen to them for the plot and i just go "i see you. i know you. you're just like me fr" but they aren't real so they don't know i understand them but yknow

but at the same time its always an internal battle cause i percieve other people's opinions and hcs all the time, but at the same time i'm so utterly terrified of sharing most of my stuff and my own hcs that i'm not confident in for fear of being percieved and having someone else think I'M weird. and yeah i am weird but i don't wanna be seen as like. bad weird

i just recently shared that i hc mike and zeke as being autistic, cause as a peer reviewed autistic i find it extremely comforting and it makes me super happy to think of them like that, but like they're not the only ones i think of that way. it's pretty much all of them that i think of that way, which makes sense, but idk it makes me feel a lil weird

ik i can do whatever i want (within reason) but it feels almost strange to do all this when i currently don't even have access to the rest of the td seasons AND there's not a lot of hc differences between them, and it feels cringe or something idk

but anyway i love making jokes about how i am absolutely INFATUATED😍✨️‼️ with both duncan and scott and i hate courtney with such a burning seething passion. she was so mean to both of them, i can fix them (or also make them worse. i could do that for funzies)

tl;dr: I'M CRAZY I'M OFF THE WALLS I'M NUTS I'M BONKERS I'M SILLY I'M GOOFY I'M WACKY I'M SO UTTERLY GOOBERISH (i'm scared to talk about all of my hcs for my favorites out of fear of people looking at me with their EYES, and probably something else. sorry guys my own post doesn't even make sense to me)

sigmund silly sessions will happen again, this was fun to just vomit my thoughts

[thanotaphobia]

IM REAL!!! I’ve been following u since forever 😗 I’m just weird and don’t post anything so DONT MIND ME

Also, I totally get writer’s burnout. I just conquered mine and am back on the grind of writing (I don’t write fics tho cause I’m not familiar enough with the fandom). Anyways, regardless of ur updates (or lack there’d) I’m sticking to the end because despite not writing fics, you have inspired me to write in general. I’m so old, I was here when you first started writing cataclysm (but I just started following ur tumblr lol). In fact, ur cataclysm story inspired me to write my own. It’s called ‘The Lady on the Crescent.’ It’s no where near the same plot as urs, but ur Cataclysm story gave me the idea to add a religious twist to it.

So really, thank you. This was suppose to be a reply to tell u I’m in fact not a bot but… yeah. Thank you for writing.

OH DOPE REAL PERSON NICE

ahhhhh thank you dude!!! thats nuts lmao i was just talking to my gf about this but i always forget people like. percieve me. so cool to think ur still hanging around :)))

i have NO idea when ill be posting that scifi fic but!!!! it is in the works for sure. <3 and i hope ur work is going well !!!!! it sounds so cool and im glad i could inspire you!!!!!! thank you!!!!!

[rocket-candy-heart]

Hiding in my room because my partner's sister is downstairs and I'm wearing an outfit that I'm not comfortable with people I'm not close to seeing me in but also I won't change because the weather is hot and I don't want to be uncomfortable so. Hiding!

[oh-youprettythings]

x

[theogygiaisland]

He's the Sweetest He's the Meanest That's Just the Way it Goes (Meow Meow Meow)

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake,Cassandra Cain, Damian Wayne

Warnings: Teen (13+)

Categories: Crack, Fluff

Words: 2,000 words

Read on: AO3

So, Bruce had a very valid reason for the tail.

Very valid.

Very pain in the ass.

--

Prompt: BruKitten | Jason Todd returns home | < 2000 words

So, he had a very valid reason for the tail.

Yes, very valid indeed. It came from a very displeased magician and a very arrogant Hal Jordan and a very well timed spell and a very idiotic Bruce.

Very justifiable.

Very pain in the ass.

“It’s okay, Bruce.” Clark says, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Bruce wants to grunt at him, a quick ‘I’m-too-tired-of-this-bullshit’ to his ‘You-should’ve-let-me-have-Jordan-get-hit’ teammate. He really did try for it. But what releases past his teeth is a frustrated breath that sounded so much like released gas from a pressurized container.

Clark blinks, once, twice, eyebrows becoming one with his hairline.

“Did you just hiss at me?”

Bruce does the not-grunt again, tail flicking in irritated twists. Clark laughs.

Bruce definitely does not like this. Damn you, universe, just damn you.

“Go home Bruce,�� the alien decides to say, before Bruce’s inner zen decides that no, it does not want to be cooperative, thank you for asking Bruce. “We’ll contact you again when we get a hold of Z or Constantine, alright?”

Right.

How could he forget about the magic users going dark? Probably between being a totally normal hero to a normal hero with cat ears.

Selina would definitely think this hilarious. He should probably avoid her before she puts a bell on him or something– actually he should avoid everyone outside the very absurd JLA mission before they do something horrifyingly imprudent.

Since he is Batman, what he needs now is a two-step plan involving a quick getaway from everyone that begins with a sprint to the Batmobile and a tactical retreat from the world at large because Batman cannot be seen with cat ears by the Gotham criminal scene and Bruce can never be found out with a tail by anyone. At all.

He puts a pin on the thought. Sorry Selina.

“You should be good– I’ve already told Nightwing about the situation and he says he’s got Gotham covered while you’re…uhm…while you’re out of commission.”

Bruce does a very un-Batman wrinkle of his nose.

Fuck. Right.

There’s also his children.

The absolute menaces.

Okay. Fine. Clark just mentioned telling Dick, and if it was just Dick, he didn’t have to worry, because Dick wasn’t a tattle tale and he could keep a secret, right? He knows Dick is a private person, the only people he would tell were probably immediate family, right?

Right. An immediate family of six– maybe even ten depending on the day.

Double fuck.

No, not thinking about it. He’s not going to think about it. This is totally fine. Think of the plan, Batman, the two-step foolproof plan. Inner zen, Bruce, find your inner zen. Do not scratch the alien and his meddling, Bruce. Do. Not.

Clark and his shit eating grin leads him to the Zeta tube. Bruce applauds himself for not finding out if he has claws on his kryptonian friend. Good job, Batman!

The pristine walls of the JLA warps around him into the familiar jagged rock of the cave, but before he can skitter off into the safety of his well thought out tactical retreat, he’s greeted with an unfamiliar red dot on the ground that just drives him nuts.

“Quit it, Dick.”

“You’re no fun B!”

Dick drops from his perch on the uneven bars with a laser pointer and Bruce in his ‘holy-shit-don’t-percieve-me’ state tries to talk himself out of augmenting his two-step plan into a three-step-ploy that starts with incapacitating his eldest.

Instead, he continues marching on, like a good soldier.

“Hey, Bruce, where are you going?”

Rather than acknowledging the innate need to growl (because he’s a father, dammit, irritating as Dick may be) he marches past his son and into the elevated platform of the Batmobile, hoping for a quick getaway where he can spend his next few weeks in relative cat peace.

That’s if his stupid finger-scanning car lock mechanism cooperates with him, dammit!

The window opens, the dark tint sliding halfway.

“I think you’ve gone slow with age, Father. Even Drake predicted you’d be using the Batmobile as your getaway car.”

Bruce does his not-grunt at his youngest. Damian’s already got that mischievous look in his eyes that he gets when he’s planning on doing something he knows Bruce wouldn’t like and Dick purposefully encouraged.

It absolutely raises the hairs on the back of Bruce’s neck.

Rather, he turns around, back down the platform stairs, carefully dodging a giggling man-child that is Dick Grayson and starts in revising his plans; because by now he thinks his plan should instead involve mind altering drugs for Dick and Damian and all he has to do now is make his way to the key rack hoping to at least find reprieve in–

SNAP!

“Steph will not believe this.”

–reprieve in– fuck! The universe really hates him, huh.

“Don’t even look for the keys B, Dick mentioned you’d try to use the cycles out of town, and I could not, under good conscience, let Gotham see Batman with anime cat ears on those things. Sorry, B.” Tim says, as he adjusts his camera some more.

Believe him when he says he adores his kids, and loves it when they continue on hobbies that aren’t their nightlife, but this is just rude!

Ruder than when they scrapbooked all those Brucie headlines last Christmas.

“If you could just look at the camera and say ‘Nya!’, please I’ve got Babs pay me a 20 for one–”

SNAP!

Bruce groans, totally and 100% achieving the very human reaction because the universe totally and 100% hates him and Tim is totally and 100% unapologetic with every picture he takes.

They’re literally billionaires!

Again: rude!

Instead, he does a little not-exactly-run (because he is the feared Dark Knight, and he’s committed to the brand, okay?) towards the cave stairs hoping to get into the garage so he can at least take his BMW out of the menaces that are his children–

–and gets stopped by Cass’ big wide eyes looking at him like it’s her birthday already–

–-which, with Cass, is still an absolute threat. The last birthday she had had involved him bailing his kids out of the county jail in Nebraska, an adopted flamingo, and a broken nose (not in that specific order).

He backs away quicker than he can imagine and up on top of the holding cells, which is a feat in itself because not even Cass can scale this one.

“Aww, look how cute he is!”

“Shut up Dick, I’m concentrating on the aperture settings–”

“No one cares Drake! Grayson hand me the mouse toy, I have to test something–”

Bruce is tired, he’s sore, he’s got a new appendage that’s irritating his buttcheeks and he’s got uncooperating ears that’s always turning to where Cass is cooing at him and Tim is flicking through the settings of his camera in quick irritating ticks! ticks! ticks!

So sue him when the first thing he says when the motorcycle comes in loud and hot with–

“Fuck.”

Jason.

“Jesus old man, Dickie wasn’t kidding around when he told you you’ve gone kitty.”

At least it wasn’t Stephanie. His kids are menaces, but Stephanie holds the title for a reason.

“I have not gone kitty.” Bruce snarls, trying not to sound whiney because that never translated well with Jason, but he’s irritated and at least he’s trying god dammit.

Jason takes it in stride, eyeing the way Bruce’s tail puffs out in agitation. “Wow, someone’s a cranky cat.”

“Cute.” Cass says helpfully.

“Eh, not so much.” Jason tells her. “Although I don’t know why I imagined his cat-sona more Persian than Calico.”

“I am not a cranky cat.” He says a little bit offended because he’s a goddamn Bat and of the human variety, thank you very much. Again: sue him for being irate. He can afford great lawyers and he earned the goddamn right.

“Alright, alright, we had our fun and games.” Dick says, putting the laser pointer into the back pocket of his jeans and pushing Tim’s camera away. “You can come down now, B.”

Tempting. Exhaustion and adrenaline is battling for dominance in his head but surprisingly, he’s cool about that. Way to go Batman.

It does help that he’s definitely very cool about the way he’s away from his children too.

Bruce replies with a not-grunt.

“Down, please?” Cass says, making grabby hands to her father, eyes deceptively innocent. Almost too innocent. Bruce gives her a not-grunt too.

“Father, this is unbecoming.” Damian says, as if he did not hide Alfred(the cat)’s toy behind him.

Tim even slings his camera around. “We’re done now, we promise.”

They all get not-grunts.

Bruce watches as Dick turns to Jason, communicating in head tilts and half shrugs, which is half endearing because– c’mon this is Jason they’re talking about and Bruce didn’t know his eldest sons communicated, much less to this degree– and half concerning because Jason’s eyes flashed a bit too green for his liking–

“Alright, fine!” Jason says, throwing his hands up in the air and catching them into a fold over his chest. He clears his throat, “B, please put Dickie out of his misery and stop being a drama queen.”

Bruce blinks.

He also gives Jason a not-grunt.

“Whelp, I’ve always been a dog person anyways.” Jason gives a two finger salute. “It’s been fun, see you losers never.”

“Jason…” Dick says.

“What?!”

The older man sighs. “Please? Just like what we talked about.”

“What– no way!”

“Please little brother?”

Bruce’s brain stops.

Because Dick hasn’t called Jason that since– since–

“Fine!” Jason huffs, stomping his foot like how he did when he was 13 and Robin, and he was told he couldn’t read his book– the Tempest– until he gets over his concussion, and the brows that made a caterpillar on his face were the same brows that Bruce found endearing in this little spitfire of a boy he called a so–

He turns towards Bruce, hands clenched at the side. “Please, dad?”

He doesn’t miss Dick’s soft whisper ‘that’s my little brother’. He does miss Tim handing Cass a 20 dollar bill.

Bruce felt a furball in his throat which is goddamn weird because he didn’t even lick himself clean, but it’s there, because this is Jason, so Bruce tries. “Jay–?”

“Yeah, well, it was to come sooner or later, wasn’t it.” Jason says, looking at his feet and looking smaller than he is, kicking imaginary stones like Robin did when he was embarrassed and conflicted.

Bruce couldn’t help it really. He pounces.

“Wait– No– God Bruce– Wait dad!”

Too late. Bruce is on him, crushing and hugging and brimming with joy his tail straight up with a rumble in his chest and he’s grasping at his son–

“God dad, are you purring!?”

Bruce doesn’t dignify that with a reply, focusing instead on squishing his instincts to lick his child clean because he’s happy but he’s not that much of a cat.

Yet. Not that much of a cat yet.

It is a struggle and oh so goddamn weird, but he didn’t care.

Cass must’ve been watching because she elbows her way into the hug under Bruce’s arm, dragging a Tim to be squished in the pile as well. And where there’s a cuddle pile, Dick Grayson surely follows because the next moment Bruce’s tail is squashed and Damian’s frame is tucked into the circle as another pair of arms encircles everyone.

Bruce is happy, as he falls to his knees and dragging his children with him because the adrenaline he felt just a second ago? Total freaking loser. He’s exhausted.

But that’s okay, his son, his Jason is here, together with his Dick and his Damian and his Tim and his Cass and her pointy elbows, and someone’s knee in his side, and a too tight grip of a hug–

And Bruce's family’s here, and his ‘goddamn-I’m-home-and-contented-and-my-menace-children-are-too’ purr can be heard echoing through the cave.

[gothmods]

People who blame vegans for the existance of pleather drive me a bit nuts because for one they are ignoring the heart of the issue (capitalism) but also vegans are only a small portion of consumers and almost everyone owns clothing made from synthetic materials.

Like literally why are you pointing the finger at random people and not the companies who use pleather and synthetic fabrics due to their cheapness to produce and then sell them to consumers either by making them the only thing people can afford or through predatory marketing that convinces people to buy products in order to follow trends or to be percieved a certain way.

Anyways for people looking to buy leather but who cant afford it or are concerned about animal welfare in industrial farming i would recommend hunting on the secondhand market. If you arent too concerned with style you can get stuff pretty cheaply. Fabrics like denim are pretty sturdy but for things like shoes real leather is the way to go i would say since almost all the alternatives are plastic based.

But yeah its maddening when people act like a problem with the way we consume things can be fixed without abolishing capitalism...

[dachi-chan25]

Haven't done this in a while but I had the time so why not?

1.- Pizza Girl by Kyoung Jean Frazier

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I really did like it, reminded me a lot of "Convinience store woman". Like clearly our protagonist needed thrapy ASAP to help her deal with her dad's death, her pregnancy, her attraction to women and hell just for existing as an Asian woman in the USA, but I liked how messy and obsesive she was and how the author allowed her to be fucked up and take bad decisions, I love to see female characters simply exist, it's also a pretty short read so I definitely recommend it.

2.-The Authentics by Abdi Nazemian

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Daría is a persian teen who is really involved in her cultural background and feels that the most important thing one can be is authentic, so that's the name she and her friends take for their clique. But everything comes crashing down on her when she discovers she is adopted, and soon follows an identity crisis. I loved it so much, it felt pretty realistic, like Daría could be self absorbed and unlikeable at times, but who wasn't as a teen? And we get such beautiful heartwarming moments between Daría and her family and friends. Totally recommend it.

3.- The Mall by Megan McCafferty

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Cassie has her life completely mapped out but nothing goes quite as planned, first she gets mononucleosis and after she gets better gets dumped and fired almost simultaneously. Determined not to let it get the best of her, Cassie gets a brand new job, reconnects with an old friend and even finds a hidden treasure. This one is so much fun, all the 90s references and the growth Cassie goes through is amazing, honeslty i would love to see this as a Netflix movie.

4.- Luster by Raven Leilani

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This book was hard, Edie is a very raw character, at first she seems flippant even when describing disturbing facts about her past or details about her relationship with a much older man she seems to be talking about something that happened to someone else all this to cope dealing with her solitude, her trauma, her self hate. And gosh it was so intresting to see her interact with Rebecca and Akila, especially Akila as Edie finds kinship in this young girl not only cuz they are both black but because they are both lost and afraid.

5.- Lakewood by Megan Giddings

🌟🌟🌟

Lena decides to participate on a financially compensated medical experiment so her mom can get proper medical care and to lessen their debts after her Grandmother's death.

So I had many mixed feelings about this, on one hand I liked that we are adressing how sistematical racism has permited experiments on black people with no consequences at all and how it has been happening for decades, but there were certain parts of the book that I couldn't enjoy as much because they were very trippy like I get we are on Lena's mind as things are becoming muddled up because of the medications and all those mind games and the words they have her memorize and repeat but all of it took me a bit away from the story. Still I do recommend it just be aware there is quite a bit of body horror in this so if you are sqeamish better skip it.

6.-The Voting Booth - Brandy Colbert

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Marva and Duke meet on election day as she helps him find the precint he is registered on.

This is very enjoyable, the story is very straightforward, and it insists on our right and responsability to vote even if we feel our vote alone can't possibly change all the injustice we see in the world. And also the romance was cute and developed slowly as Marva and Duke are just knowing each other. Really cute and quick read.

7.- Such a fun age - Kiley Reid

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Emira works as a babysitter for the Chamberleins' . She loves her little charge Briar, although she feels preassured to seek a 'real job' by her friends and by her own economic troubles. Emira soon finds herself in the middle of a tug of war between her boss Alix who tries to befriend her, and Kelley the guy she is dating.

So much drama. This is a great example of what performative activism looks like, first Alix is completely nuts, from her obsession to be seen as this wonderful understanding girl boss activist and the down right creepy sense of entitlement to Emira's friendship and intimacy. Like it doesn't surprise me she chose to victimize herself instead of recognizing it had all been a misunderstanding. And even then she still wants to seem atractive to the man she feels victimized by. Girl no.

Kelley is the ultimate fake woke ally. Dude Robbie was wrong period, he had no business inviting people over to someone else's house no matter the color of his skin. You don't get to talk over Emira on matters of what a person of color should do or feel on certain situations. That said it was so funny when he and Alix called each other out for their fetishization of people of color and yet none of them actually gave a damn about what Emira thought/felt/percieved. They just wanted her stamp of approval so they could pat themselves in the back for being such good allies.

8.- The Life and (Medieval) times of Kit Sweetly by Jamie Pacton

🌟🌟

Kit is working as a serving wench at the Castle, medieval themed restaurant run by her uncle, though she really wants to be a Knight, not only cuz the better pay would help around the house but because she really admires Joan of Arc, problem is the Castle management doesn't allow for anyone who is not a cis male to be a knight. Kit is set on changing that.

Ok so I feel a bit lukewarm toward this. Kit in my opinion doesn't get much growth, it seems she just can do whatever and her friends have to be ok w it, her romance w her friend feels pulled out of nowhere like Jett at one point tells her he is not intrested in dating her and then he is ???, those GoT references killed me, I get it I watched the show and sometimes even enjoyed it but it's not representative of anything medieval and Kit was always talking about how much she liked the actual history of the medieval times so...

Also as much as this book was about feminism and how we should fight for equal job oportunities, it feels as though Kit only cared about medieval woman who fought physically and not on the badass medieval woman, like idk it feels as a rejection of tradicional feminity like even the girl playing the Princess is a jerk. But I did like some parts, like her decision to confront her asshole dad to help her mom and the girls training together.

9.-Cien años de soledad de Gabriel Garcia Marquez

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

En Macondo, una población Colombiana a un lado del río, vemos como una de sus familias fundadoras crece, se expande y cambia a través de cien años.

Me encanto, hace mucho tiempo que no leía una novela de realismo mágico que me provocará tantos sentimientos. Creo que todos los personajes reflejan aspectos de la humanidad tan diversos y complejos que sería inútil tratar de enlistarlos todos.

Ultimadamente siento que lo que condenó a la familia Buendia a cumplir las profecías de Melquiades fue sus propia naturaleza que ellos nunca tuvieron intención de pelear, siempre sucumbian a las locuras o pasiones que los inundarán sin mesura alguna o consideración por las consecuencias. Y creo que aún así lo prefiero pues es lo que hace a cada personaje por confuso que a veces llegue a ser la repetición de nombres (que para mi es el simbolismo de una naturaleza y destino continuos) único e intrigante. En verdad espero que se den la oportunidad de leer este libro por lo menos una vez en sus vidas.

10.-The Monsters of music by Rebecca F. Kenney

🌟🌟🌟

This is a gender-swaped modern retelling of the Phantom of the Opera.

It was creative to make Mel, our Phantom, a true magical creature, and the singing contest was also cool. Like don't get me wrong I did have fun reading this but it also felt pretty unpolished like most characters were teens on the contest and that kinda made me roll my eyes a bit, like unless it's the Voice Kids age ranges are quite ample on this kind of shows, also kinda clumsy the addition of the magical elements with the modern setting, Kiyo didn't make much of an impression with me even when Christine is my fave on the original book. Still if you are a Phan like me you might wanna check this one out.

11.- Anna K by Jenny Lee

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is a modern americanized ya retelling of Anna Karenina.

Not gonna lie this made me cry so much at the end. I really liked Anna and Vronski together so much, and I don't like the love at first sight trope, but here it felt so inevitable. Anna was so self contained until she met him and could truly explore being herself and they really loved each other so much. Also I liked the treatment of the side characters Kimmie and Dustin were well developed and I really enjoyed this one can't wait to get to the second book.

12.- Wonderland by Zoje Stage

🌟🌟🌟

It was ok, but I was actually a bit disappointed cuz I had such high expectations for it. Like for about half the book I was really into the atmospheric vibe the book pulls you into, but as we get the reveal it started to go down hill for me, and the ending left me feeling meh. But maybe it was just not my cup of tea.

13.-Home Before Dark by Riley Sager

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This book is so well crafted!!! I love how it goes back and forth between past and present , first it feels as if history is repeating itself, then as both narratives unfold we start to question and discovering things and the twist at the end was chillin and masterful, I truly and wholeheartedly recommend it.

14.- The Girl with the louding voice by Abi Daré

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Adunni, a teenage girl, flees from her husband to work as a maid in Lagos, though everything she has ever wanted is to study.

This broke my heart, as it reflects how people coming from rural backgrounds get taken advantage of in the City, like similar things happen here in Mexico, but also it made me glad to see Adunni fight and keep her spirit so no one could ever silence her.

15.- The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Immanuel does her very best to fit in Bethel, follow the scriptures and the Prophets words, but nothing seems to be enough to erase her mother's sin especially when the Darkwood seems to pull her in. As a plague starts to ravage Bethel, Immanuel has to face her past to save her people.

So frickin' good !!!! This story is great, mainly about the explotation of woman and young girls by people in power (in this case a church), the atmosphere is always tense, Ezra and Immanuel 's relationship is very well developed and one can really see how loyal they are to each other. A great option for horror fans.

[miekasa]

Yessss! I love that Armin is kinda nuts, but pretends to be an innocent uwu boy all the time. It's probably extra easy to do so since he's so adorable but lowkey he'd also like to watch the world burn and that really should bother me more than it does. 😂

He really is nuts omg... I don’t know that I think he’s pretending to be innocent I think it’s just easy to percieve him that way and I kind of actually feel like if you ever told him he comes across as innocent or even cute he’d be confused LOL his internal dialogue is probably not that he’s adorable, and I feel like he’d be surprised to hear people think he is.

He 100% is keeping the crazy under wraps but I don’t even know if it’s conscious which makes it scarier byeeeee he’s all collected until he has his moments of insanity and then you’re like whoah..... what the fuck....... I kinda like it tho LOLOL. So yeah he’s crazy and I am in love with him </2

[thebibliosphere]

I hope I'm not bothering, but could you explain MCAS? Google is telling me way too many different things and it's confusing me. I'm still dealing with chest pain off and on, and doctors don't know what's wrong except 1 who said it's probably chronic inflammation but I'm still not sure but I've given up dealing with them for now. I also don't know what foods to try that don't cause inflammation because I hate seafood and nuts and have issues with most fruits/veggies

No worries, there’s a reason it’s really hard to understand, and that’s cause most of the research only started happening within the last decade. I literally think they defined it as an immune disorder syndrome in 2010. I’ll put this under a cut cause it’ll get long. Also please don’t give up on pursuing doctors! If a doctor tells you you have chronic inflammation, then it’s time to run testing for inflammation markers and checking for autoimmune problems. Best of luck!

MCAS, or mast cell activation syndrome, is basically a dysfunction of the immune system where your mast cells, which are present in every part of the body, go wonky and start percieving everything as a threat. This is a problem because they regulate just about every vital aspect of cell function in the body, including cell regeneration, angiogenesis,fighting off pathogens and regulating your immune system, etc, etc. Most people think of it as the “anaphylaxis” illness (which is one of the more extreme symptoms), which is because histamine overload is one of the biggest and best-known triggers of mast cell degranulation. But it can also present as chronic pain without a known cause, affect neurological function, and has been shown to be present in connective tissue disorders (and also now some cancers too, according to Dr. Affrin, who is one of the major researchers trying to untangle all of this.).

When a person has a mast cell degranulation episode, these vital cells break down, releasing huge amounts of histamine (and other compounds) into the body at toxic levels, creating an acute inflammatory response. For some of us, like me, that turns into idiopathic anaphylaxis, or “anaphylaxis with no known cause”, which requires immediate emergency treatment. Others may not have it so severe but will experience things like severe pain, chronic hives, migraines, GI upsets, and many more symptoms which you can read more about here:

http://www.mastcelldisease.com/mcas-symptoms/

It’s basically endless at this point, the number of symptoms that have been linked to mast cell disorders.

It’s also, more recently, been proposed that MCAS is a sliding scale disorder, with things like histamine intolerance at one end, connective tissue disorders in the middle, and anaphylaxis and seizures on the other. Some folks don’t require medical treatment and are seemingly able to control it by regulating what they eat and their external irritants (pollen, dust, stress) while others require mast cell stabilizing medications and lifelong treatment.

If you want to read more, I have everything on my blog tagged as #MCAS or #life with MCAS, and I highly recommend reading through the above-linked website. Michelle Dellene has dedicated her life at this point to try to raise awareness about this syndrome. I hope that helps!

[its-sixxers]

Layers Meme: Carmen

tagged by @courier-sux! might do this for the gang tbh

tagging: if you like little things like this go nuts and blame me for it :D

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

Name: Carmen. Just Carmen.

Eye Color: Dark brown, gold highlights.

Hair Style/Color: Ash brown, thick and wavy.

Height: 5′8″

Clothing Style: Western, favors men’s jeans and jackets but likes patterned blouses. Practical with just a smidge of flair.

Best Physical Feature: If you ask her, she’d say her hair.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: Loss of agency, being caged, deathclaws, ghost people, sandstorms

Guilty Pleasure: Classical music.

Biggest Pet Peeve: People who can’t back up talk with action.

Ambition for the Future: Finding out what ‘home’ is - if she’s meant to have one.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: Has anything changed?

What They Think About the Most: Death.

What They Think About Before Bed: Usually how dead tired and eager for sleep she is. Sometimes she imagines arms around her. Whose arms they are varies.

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: She’d say her skill at shooting.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Single dates. Carmen enjoys peace and quiet and isn’t the type to open up in large groups. If people want to know her, they need to do so somewhere isolated.

To be Loved or Respected: Love hasn’t worked out for her and part of her still believes it makes people stupid. She’ll take respected.

Beauty or Brains: If she had to pick, brains - but heart is really what matters in her book.

Dogs or Cats: She likes both. Dogs, if forced to pick - due to their being better traveling companions.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: Everyone lies. Carmen makes a point of trying not to do it, and she stands out for it. Her bluntness is often percieved as cruel.

Believe in Yourself: When it comes to combat and general survival, yes. When it comes to her ability to find purpose - no.

Believe in Love: After everything - yes.

Want Someone: Yes. They’re out of her reach.

LAYER SIX: HAVE YOU EVER?

Been on Stage: Yes. Fortunately, she doesn’t remember.

Done Drugs: Same as above.

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: No. She wouldn’t know how, even if she wanted to.

LAYER SEVEN: WHAT’S THEIR…

Favourite colours: Gold, turquoise, brown, green.

Favourite animal: She’s pretty fond of bighorn, though she can’t explain why.

Favourite book: A collection of poetry by Keats - the title’s long since worn off.

Favourite game: Always a sucker for caravan. She’s tried to teach it to people in the Commonwealth, but it never really sticks.

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

DOB: Dec 15,  2257

How Old Will You Be: 24 during the events of New Vegas, 30 by the time she reaches the Commonwealth. 36 when she returns to the Mojave.

Age You Lost Your Virginity: 16.

Does Age Matter: Depending on context. Age gaps with a young partner spark her temper.  Once everyone’s roughly middle aged, she doesn’t care.

LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: the open sky.

I feel: tired.

I hide: less than I should.

I miss: them.

I wish: I could begin again.

[kakitysax]

Re-Reading Arc 2 of Wings of Fire has me once again wondering what a mind-reading classmate would be picking up from me on a daily basis.

Like:

“Every day I wake up. I go to school. I take one step closer to becoming naught but a pawn in the American Economy. I go home. I sleep. Is this all there is?”

“Stop talking stop talking stop talking I Swear on all that is Holy”

“Look, there’s the girl that bullied me in fourth grade. Haha I’m unequivocally better than her now. Look how pathetic she is. ...Did I really just think that? Am I wrong though? SHUT UP.”

“I think I would like to pretend to believe that I was an angel in a past life if it weren’t for the knowledge that if and when the heavenly host does come to earth I’d actually shit myself.”

“Sure thing, Zuckerberg. Everybody knows you’re a bottom.”

“Shut up about Animal Crossing I’m not talking about Animal Crossing I don’t even PLAY Animal Crossing I’m not telling them about Animal Crossing close your mouth right now I SWEAR-”

“Well if you define gender that way then people who remain unmarried virgins are nonbinary.”

“...................”

“His sister is his role model he’s definitely a closeted trans girl - STOP IT STOP IT YOU’RE REINFORCING THE BINARY”

“Did you know that myths about werewolves originated with the Beast of Gevaudan, a large man-eating animal that terrorized the French Countryside in the mid-1700s and was never caught? Why am I composing this in my head, they stopped talking about Cryptids two minutes ago and you decided not to say this out loud because it would make you look lame. Did you know that the myths about werewolves originated with the Beast of Gevaudan, a large man-eating animal that terrorized the French Countryside in the mid-1700s and was never caught? Why am I-”

“I really might be on to something with my theory of circumstantial trauma in neurodivergent youth as a result of atypical perceptions of reality, but I’d have to get a degree in psychology if I wanted to find out and I hate formal schooling...“

“Jellybean is a Sylph of Hope. OH MY FUCKING - Am I wrong though?”

“I need to switch out of existential mode, I think I’m short-circuiting.”

“Being a genius is fun and all but I really need somebody to check my hubris before I do something completely nuts. Like taking all my - YES LIKE TAKING ALL MY PILLS SHUT UP ABOUT THAT.”

“HIT OR MISS, I GUESS THEY NEVER MISS HUH”

“I think the Autistic brain kind of works like a grid. Like, when Allistic people try to percieve the conceptual equivalent of a circle, they just percieve a circle. But Autistic people have to try to fit it into a grid system, with a straight line in every box. And if you’re less intelligent or lower functioning you only have one square to work with, and it’s just a single straight line. And then it’s a range, you know, like if you have four boxes you can do a square, and the more boxes you have the closer it gets to looking like a circle, and I have like a shit ton of boxes so it almost looks like a circle but at the same time you can tell something’s off. But on the other hand, I’m better at telling what’s going on in each square. ...and all of my squares are memes and personality quizzes.”

*reacts to something with an overwhelmingly loud and sudden mental audio clip from a vine*

“You know, there’s this mentality going around of doubting everything that you’re told, but you’re never told to doubt the people telling you to doubt, or to doubt what you’ve personally decided is true. Everyone picks and chooses what they would like to be true, and then doesn’t doubt those things, because it’s what personally makes them happy. I could never trust in a finite human experience, even my own. I need something bigger than my own perceptions to believe in, you know? I need something that I can trust in without ever fully understanding, because if I were able to understand it then that would be a testament to the finiteness of it all. And the Bible seems pretty legit to me. It doesn’t matter if nobody can understand everything in there. I need something to trust. Something that doesn’t hinge on my personal likes and dislikes. But then everybody goes around saying that because they’re a Christian the Bible actively ENDORSES their personal likes and dislikes and then everything goes to shit.”

“I want a fucking donut. No. Two donuts. No. A half-dozen donuts. From Dunkin. One glazed. One powdered. One with Chocolate Frosting. Another one with Chocolate Frosting. One with Strawberry Frosting. Another glazed one. I wish I had some fucking money.”

“If Mom doesn’t make something yummy for dinner tonight then what’s even the point of being alive? Just suffering?”

“I want to hit myself in the forehead so bad right now just grip the table until it passes”

[workingonit-currently]

(Midnight)

Ted: Henry...you up?

Hidgens: *glancing up from his book* Yes Ted, I am awake.

Ted: Oh...good...

Hidgens: What's wrong Ted?

Ted: I can't sleep...

Hidgens: And you require my assistance?

Ted: Well...I just thought you were smart and that you'd be able to tell me how to get to sleep and I would be more relaxed and then fall asleep and...-

Hidgens: Ted. Listen...I can't help you get to sleep but I can tell you some relaxing things. Such as: No one truely knows you except for you. Our words are just vibrations in the air. Every single image we see is just light being recieved by our eyes. Every musical note is perfect for one thing or another. You're the only person like you, no one else was born at the same moment as you and has your voice or your mind as well. You would be percieved as inhumanly intelligent centuries ago. You could also be the one of the most beautiful people to someone, our bodies react differently to each oersons hormones. Every single dog was once a puppy. Blue eyes are anomolies and mutations but we've learned to celebrate and love them. Every single breath you take is re-energising your body and without thinking you're keeping yourself alive. You'll never know how others see the world and that's okay. You're not the only person who makes mistakes. Mistakes are called mistakes so we can try again, Mis(sed)-takes. Someone decided to name the thing squirrels eat 'nuts' and then another person decided to use it as a slang term. You are the master of something and many thing all at the same time. The fraze 'Jack of all trades, master of none' is actually incomplete, it should be, 'Jack of all trades, master of none. Though often times, better than master of one.'. Another full phrase is, 'Couriosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back'. You're ideas are unique in a way only you could have had them. You're the only person with your exact opionions. Everything you'll ever feel is just chemicals and energy. Bats are the only animal that can truely flight without the assistance of wind. Cowboys, Victorians, Pirates and Samuri were all arojnd togather at some point in history. Remember that moment when you use to go out and instantly run out to play in the snow in the mornings when you were a child. The first time you ever took a step was the moment you finally grew up. Remember your first day of real school, not the actual school day but just the getting dressed and morning before even going to school. Remember really believing your toys were alive. Any star we look at could have dissapeared thousands of years agon and the light from it wouldn't go out for us yet. Darkness is only the absense of the amount of light that makes us able to 'see'. Every idea someone has ever had started out as a tiny nugget. Someone went up to a chicken and tried to fight it. Early humans tried to eat stones. If we were able to see ducks above and below water as they swim we would see intense panic on their faces...It takes energy to breath so no one can rver say you do nothing with your life. You are breathing so you are living your life and they can't tell you otherwise. You are here and you are breathing, living and doing something useful in your life. Don't let anyone tell you breathing is not useful.

(Kickstarter or Youtube)

[captain-atom]

it sucks having purely social dysphoria like i hate being percieved as Not A Man by other people but like, i dont hate my body i just hate the disconnect between Cis Society or Cisciety and my own feelings and identity as a human person. when im lying down at home chillin no binder i dont hate myself or feel disgusted i just feel like Myself but being in society makes me wanna change and makes me wanna pass and like. i dont wanna feel like i have to pass to be myself lmfao. bt even from other trans men in irl spaces i get the Not Trans Enough treatment by some people just cus im happy with being myself and it sucks nuts