#((I feel like my voice/writing style for her is just different then my other muses

[beauthief]

I forgot how much I liked my voice/writing style for Haru specifically

[coeurify]

repost the period vampire ellie fic!

middle of the night,, vamp!ellie

a/n: this is a repost from early this year so excuse any change in writing style!

warnings: vampire!ellie. period sex. oral!r receiving fingering!r receiving. sort of a dreamy, less modern vibe. if u aren’t into it.. just don’t read it.

˚✦　.　　. 　  ˚　.　 . ✦　˚　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

Some times--Most times, you only saw her at night. When darkness enveloped the small town you called home, when the stars rocked the sleepy eyed humans to sleep and the moon hummed the lullaby that quieted the crickets outside, she came.

Only then did you ever hear the distinct creaking of the splitting wood on your window panes being pressed up. Only then did the white of your sheer curtains move with more than the wind, the grip of the air nothing compared to the long hand that often wrapped around the fabric and pushed it open. When the moon was the only light filtering into your room, you saw the green of her eyes.

Tonight was no different, despite one little issue. Often, the woman who visited you under the cover of midnight would arrive to your eyes closed in sleep. She would press a hand to your warm cheek before waking you, greeted by your sleepy excitement each time.

This time, you had not been able to sleep. A heat had taken over your body, tight in your stomach with a pain you would compare to that of claws gnawing at your insides. Sweat beaded between your brows with every swift turn under your uncomfortable sheets, lip tugged between your frustrated teeth to stop any whines of discomfort. That had been what your favorite visitor heard as her shaking palms found the wood of your window. Your pained grunts floated through her buzzing ears as she quietly made her way into your room, auburn hair messy behind her ears as her figure became visible, head tilted as she looked across the room to your heated body.

“El,” you whined, wiping your forehead with a hand, not at all concerned about her chosen point of entry. “Go away.”

Ellie’s gaze softened, a scoff sounding from behind your squeezed shut eyes. “Go away?” she mused, her voice much closer now.

The split second your eyes had been closed, Ellie had somehow silently made it to your bedside. You don't question it, you never do.

When a girl like Ellie sports small fangs and a taste for blood, her speed is the last thing you think to question.

“I don't feel well, don’t want you here.” you add, mouth pulled into pout as you look up at the freckled face of Ellie.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, bunny? Instead of shooing me away,” Ellie requests, sitting on the edge of your bed. Her cold hand finds your sweaty arm, sighing. “You’re burning up.”

Your neck tickles with heat as Ellie questions your current state, and you fall wordless. Somehow, it was more embarrassing to admit to your vampire visitor that you were starting your period than to simply tell her to leave. Obviously however, Ellie was not taking the second option as a valid answer.

“I started my period, nothing is helpin’ the cramps,” you explain softly, pressing your hand into the sheets of your bed to try and sit, to maybe find some sort of relief to the growing tension in your stomach. But the other set of hands is faster.

“Lay down,” Ellie insists, glancing down at you. You can almost see the cogs of her brain turning behind the evergreen in her eyes, a sort of fogginess settling over the color.

“Let me help you,” she eventually says.

“What? I told you nothi-”

Ellie presses her lips together to hush you, one wandering hand finding the dip of your hip, blunt nail tracing the goosebump coated flesh there. Sometimes she liked being so cold, simply because she enjoyed seeing how you reacted to it. If she was damned for what she was, she may as well use some of it to her advantage.

“What are you doing?” You couldn't help the shiver that followed her movements.

Suddenly your mouth feels dry, tongue unable to wet the plump fat of your lip. The scratching in your throat finds no comfort when you swallow, only further irritating your vocal chords. A choked noise finds the heavy bedroom air as fingers tug at your cotton shorts.

“Helping you,” Ellie repeats, her own mouth much more wet than yours. Even in the dim light of the moon you can see the glistening dew on her parted lips. Usually the look she currently wears is saved only for when her pearly teeth find the sensitive and already scarred skin of your neck. Not for.. this.

Your hands immediately slap to your heated cheeks. “Oh my god Ellie, no fucking way.”

The vampire, who had now moved below you on the bed, hums in disagreement to your little show of kicking feet, a hand too strong to be that of a human halting all movements.

“We always have fun when I come over,” The freckles of her face disappear as she glances down, fully pulling down your shorts.

“Not when I’m on my period,” you hiss quietly, the words feeling cracked and embarrassed as they leave your mouth. You could deny the growing arousal in your belly simply by how *mortified* you felt. Even with the churning feeling of deeply settled embarrassment, you make no further moves to stop Ellie. Not as the shorts fall to the floor with a dull thump.

“It’ll help,” Ellie soothes, the near frigid temperature of her hand calming the heat that rises on the skin of your legs. “Haven’t you heard things like this help with cramps?”

The words that are spoken almost teasingly fall upon deaf ears as her wet lips press right above your knee. “Please,” the auburn haired girl whispers, sounding a lot more breathy than before. “Please, let me taste you. Let me make you feel better. ”

Ellie had a tendency to become a little less cold, figuratively at least, when she found her body nestled between your own. The unwavering voice you had grown oh so accustomed to always slid into a more mushy sounding version whenever it got intimate. Today, it seemed even worse. The words dripped with the sweet sounds of neediness, a sound that tasted sweet on your tongue, which swiped nervously over your dry lips.

“El..” Another kiss pressed further up the flesh of your warm thigh broke any following denial. “Fuck..” your chin wobbles, almost too embarrassed to actually say your following words, “Yea. Please help.”

You were sure if you believed something was watching down on you from the sky, it was with horror. Some people may call what Ellie was doing sinful. The angels in the clouds would shrilly gasp as fingers wrapped around your panties and tugged them and everything else from your bottom half, tossing them into the growing pile of clothes. Her shirt came next, the simple white cloth acted as something to watch as it pulled off of her chest, likely to avoid any mess. Some may call the sight of her dipping down again, green eyes looking up at your quivering lip, sinful. Maybe it was, surely the mewl you made when her lips found the heated flesh of your inner thigh was. But if you had to describe it, that wasn't the word you would use. You may even swear it was heavenly.

“Relax,” Ellie drawled, spreading your thighs further apart, despite the slight tremble to them. “I’ve got you, don't worry,” her voice soothed you enough to tilt your head back against the pillow, squeezing your eyes closed. The embarrassment simmered low in your belly, even more so when you could feel the arousal that dripped from you, which your vampire visitor had no problem pointing out. “So wet for me,” she groaned, lips still refusing to find home anywhere other than your thighs. Teeth sharper than your own nipped at the skin there, bucking your hips up. “You want this, don’t you?”

It was an obvious request for another confirmation of what was to come, but your chest felt too tight to reply, no air finding your lungs the moment her breath hovered over your pulsing core. “Tell me you want it,” she requests again, voice dipping into a softer territory again, searching for your approval. Her resolve was cracking however, jaw clicking as she tried her best not to dive straight into where she craved to be.

“I do,” you whine, eyes still closed as you answered, words met with the quick and overwhelming feeling of her tongue pressing flat against your wet center. You couldn’t think too hard about the fact she was doing this right now, not when the sharp gasp had come from two mouths instead of one, a quick call of, “Fuck,” from only you this time followed. Ellie had no words, not as her tongue made another long stripe up your pussy, going much slower than you liked. It led one small roll of your hips down into her, a sign for what you searched for.

It resulted in a hand gripping your hip, pressing you further down into the mattress, ceasing any attempt to control the movements. Her mouth pressed further into you, licking at the same excruciatingly slow pace, seemingly taking her time to enjoy the taste she found between your thighs. “El,” you gasp, eyes fluttering open to glance down at her. However her eyes were closed, another press further into you came, her nose bumping your clit as she licked into you. The rush it brings is almost enough to completely paint over the lingering cramping in your stomach.

The dizzying mixture of pain and pleasure seeps into your bones, making you feel too heavy to do much else than move a hand to find Eliie’s hair, fingers tangling between the auburn strands. You tried again to guide her movements, but she was much stronger than you, paying little mind to the shaky hand that tugged at her locks.

“Taste so fuckin..” she sucked in a breath, unable to keep from dipping back into your folds, humming. “So fuckin’ good,” she finishes, words reverberating against your throbbing core. It had you trying to squirm, held down by the stone light weight of Ellie’s grip. The deeper she licked, the more you fought against her. Your body ached the do something.. anything to find comfort in the overwhelming feeling of her still slow pace. The fingers in her hair tugged again, finding a low groan in response.

The air of the room had already been heavy on your feverish skin, but now it was nearing a state of unbearably humid. Every time Ellie’s tongue made a particularly aimed movement you felt another round of fire straight in the mess that was your clenching core. It all felt so heightened, so much better. The sticky feeling on your skin did not slow either of you down, and you had little care for the sweat beading on your flesh. Not when your favorite girl’s lips were doing such mind numbing things to you.

Had you told your past self, even that of just an hour ago, that you would have allowed it to happen.. They would have laughed in your heated face. The past version of you would have sworn up and down, prayed up to the mysterious sky, that this would never happen. But now- now you have no room for denial or regret. Your mind was becoming too cloudy to house thoughts of shame, questions of if this was right. Because it felt right. The slick sound of Ellie’s mouth against you sounded right, as did your little huffs and puffs that you couldn't hide. The cramps had subsided in tandem with the tightening band in you. But you needed more, and you were gone past a point of being embarrassed to ask for it.

“I need..” you try to speak, but Ellie’s lips wrapping around your clit is the cause of the death of the forming words. A jolt of your hips is one finally strong enough to rupture the heavy hold of the vampire’s hand. Your lame attempt at a command did not go unheard by Ellie, who for the first time since this began, pulled herself away from your cunt. Her eyes darted up, looking to meet your own. But you were far too focused on something else. Her lips were glassy with your wetness, which she licked without a second thought. But the usual clear sheen that you had been no stranger to seeing on her face was more of a rosy color, a stark reminder of the reason this had begun in the first place. The slight tint of red smeared onto her chin, across the corners of her mouth, and it was oh so addicting to see. You felt no lingering shame, no shiver of disgust. Instead it made you feel even more desperate to have her against you again, but first you had to listen to her speaking. “Need what, babe?”

The urge to simply shove her face right back into your cunt flipped through the pages of scenarios in your head, but the moonlight that painted the side of your lover’s face, illuminating the red paintbrush stroke of you, had you a little too separate to risk such a bratty action.

“I need more, El. Need to cum,” you manage to whine, one light push of her head to prove your point. Ellie dipped her head down again, pressing small kisses to your sticky inner thighs. “Just love taking my time with you,” she muttered, a few more pecks planted on you were a search for forgiveness, one you graciously accepted with a loud moan when the lips finally found your clit again.

Ellie seemed to take your beg to heart, the hand that held your hip slowly dipping between your thighs. Her searching fingers met just below her chin, one long digit sliding over your slit, teasing the weeping hole with a slight press. The air feels like it has been punched from your lungs when the finger sinks into you, just as evil as her mouth as it curls into you the exact moment her lips suck a little harder. You were sure she was looking to torture you with how slowly the finger pumped in and out, working and exploring around your walls that gripped around her so tightly.

You had always heard the mythical vampire was sadistic. Ellie had never been much of that, but with ever slow movement into your aching cunt, you began to believe the whispers. Your head turned lightly to stare at the open window, the stars that dipped in the night sky were surely spotlighting your body splayed out on the bed, the auburn haired vampire between your thighs was quite the show for all the celestial beings up in the night air, every single being held its breath and watched on, you were sure of it. You didn't blame the stars, or the moon, or whatever else may have their attention focused on this tantalizing sight. If you could, you would float right out of your body to watch on yourself.

Surely you looked a mess, chest heaving with the heat of the air, with the heat of Ellie. Your limbs shook just lightly, your fingers knotted your companions hair, the messy pile of clothes on the floor, the red that painted her cheeks. Surely it would make your cheek turn bashfully if you could see it. Maybe this was sinful. The little dip into your rushing thoughts is ended with the raspy tone of Ellie’s voice.

“Relax, bunny. Gotta relax for me,” Ellie cooed against you, a few more languid presses into your cunt causing you to finally loosen around her, coupled by the continuing ministrations from her mouth on your clit. Soone another finger joins the mix, the large fingers stretching you just right. She reaches spots that have you remembering the stars you had just seen behind the black of your squeezed shut eyes, a pathetic cry falling from your lips. This reaction only encourages her to continue, the pace of her suckles and thrusts into you speed up. It's harsher everytime she plunges into you, your hips moving lightly with the pure force.

“That’s my girl, there you go,” she compliments after a long moan, the words causing another clench around her fingers. You let out another string of incoherent whines and moans, grinding down into her messy face and fingers. Somewhere in the back of your mind you cursed yourself and Ellie for the certainly ruined bedspread under your ass, but it seems like the much smaller issue when you had *this* to focus on. You were nearing your peak, and it was no secret. Your grinds against Ellie became sloppy, ununiformed and more needy than before. No words could form on your tongue, only whimpers and unintelligible begs.

The vampire never lets up, curling her fingers, your walls clenching. her teeth grazed against your clit lightly enough to have you trembling, whining softly. She knows your body as well as you do, every small sign you were reaching the final moments before your world would explode. She knew what moves of her fingers would have your legs shaking, knew where to press, how hard to go. She was no stranger to making you cum, and she definitely was on the mission to make it happen now. Her free hand grips your thigh, pushing you even more impossibly open for her, fingers pressing into you harshly enough to draw another cry. She readjusts slightly, sinking even deeper into your folds. “C’mon,” Ellie whispers, the word slightly broken, shaky and pleading. Pleading as if she needed you to come as much as you did.

Maybe she did, because the moment your back arched, a near pornographic moan filling the heavy air, spilling out of the window and swirling against the peeping eyes of the stars and moon, she moaned with you. Her fingers still within you as you gushed around her, her lips still pressed to your clit. But as your thighs shook, she slid the fingers out and replaced them with her tongue again. The pink muscle flattened against your slit again like it had earlier, this time with no attempt at going slow.

If anything, she was ravenous. Every drop your pulsing center gifted her, she sucked down like she needed it, ignoring your desperate whines of overstimulation. You attempted lamely to press her head away with the hand still tangled in her scalp, but it was no use. The pleasure of her tongue was much too overwhelming to fight.

After a moment that felt like hours, she pulled away. Her tongue licked over her lips again, collecting the rosy colored cum from where it smudged there. Her eyes stayed on your own blinking irises as her fingers raised to her already messy lips. They were coated with the same mixture of red and clear shining wetness, and she sunk them into her mouth with a moan. The debautchary that took place in front of your eyes should have your stomach queasy, should have your legs closing and pressing far away from Ellie.

But of course it doesn't, instead you watch on with morbid curiosity, watching her tongue curl around her fingers, sucking the last bits of you, leaving a glistening layer of her own spit behind. She found no shame in this situation, no shame in drinking down evey single thing you would give her, so why should you?

“Fuck,” you breathe, eyes transfixed on the fingers as they fall from her lips and down to her lap, her eyes back on your own. She makes a move to crawl over you, arms locking you in from either side.

“Just got a taste of you bunny,” she mumbles, nudging her head into the crook of your neck.

Her lips pressed there, and this time you could feel her fangs under the plump fat of her lip. “Gonna let me have more?” she questioned.

Of course you would, of course you did. As you tilted your neck for her, the curtain to the side of you blew in the wind, and you closed your eyes.

“Yes.”

[rowanisawriter]

writer q&a

thanks for the tag @luvwich i love talking about myself lmao

tagging… @mashamorevvna @yourworsttotebag @swordbisexual no pressure

When did you start writing?

10 or 11 handwriting a three part series in notebooks lol i still remember the plot of my first book which was basically xmen AU. fic writing also started around that time

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

not really, my writing and my taste in reading usually align. even poetry which i read a lot of but don’t write, somehow still sneaks into my writing because i like making things read pretty

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

idk about fic but for published authors i like sally rooney and her character work, and i also love t. s. eliot’s rhythmic style in poetry, im always trying to emulate them

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

i have a toddler to the answer so this for now is my phone on the couch or in my bed in the middle of the night lmao. i’ve learned how to write under weird circumstances, but hopefully once she gives back some of the mental capacity she takes from me daily then i’ll sit at a table or something

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

can’t do it easily lol it comes to me in visions, usually after i read something or see a piece of art but if it’s not there it’s not there

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

i write a lot about religion… no that’s not surprising…. i also write a lot about love… that’s not surprising either lol

What is your reason for writing?

i like stories a lot, and i like being praised, so writing stories and having people read them checks two boxes for me lol

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

all comments are precious, but comments where people find something that i didn’t consciously put into a fic those are my favorite comments. i put a lot of myself into everything i write, sometimes i write things i don’t think about, when someone points it out it feels very personal (good)

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

hope i don’t come across as insane, i want to be aloof and interesting but then people find me on tumblr and learn the truth

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

hopefully emotion, i focus a lot on that instead of setting or plot most of the time so if i get emotion right then that’s good, as long as i can make someone feel something then they’re compelled to continue reading (conversely when i am reading something and don’t feel any emotional connection to the thing then i put it down)

How do you feel about your own writing?

i like it very much, it’s the exact thing i want to read, and it was a very long road getting here to my true voice and style. i reread my own work constantly i really like it

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

i can only write for myself, the motivation to write is only there if it’s something i want to write, even challenges and prompts i struggle with because there is some aspect of “this isn’t truly my idea” that i struggle with. i’ve written things that just aren’t popular (weird ship, quiet fandom, etc) but i wrote it anyway because i wanted to. obvs i want to be read otherwise i wouldn’t post online but i have a good audience now so usually no matter what i write it does get read anyway, so may as well just write what i want lol

[writing-for-soup]

✍ writer interview

tagged by @luvwich, read her interview for insight into how an evil genius works, and for insight into how an evil moron works, check out my answers below the cut 💕

When did you start writing?

I've written basically my entire life, like when I first learned to write I used to just copy fairytales word-for-word in my own notebooks. Then I always liked English the most at school, did my undergrad in English Literature and Creative Writing, and then did an MA in Creative Writing right after because I Wasn't Ready to be in the real world yet.

I used to write fanfic as a teen, then more or less forgot all about it until I played Cyberpunk 2077 in late 2023, had a mental breakdown (only partially related), and then couldn't get River fucking Ward out of my mind. Since then, it's kind of blossomed into it's own thing and this year I've written 138k+ words and it feels great.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I love a classic murder-mystery thriller, but I'm currently writing one of those and I have almost a full outline for another, and I think both will stand as original stories I might even seek to publish, so does that count?

I love a good sci-fi or fantasy series and I've never written anything like that, the level of world-building involved is so intimidating but when you read it done well it's sooooo good (see Margaret Atwood's MaddAddam trilogy or Chaos Walking by Patrick Ness).

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I feel like my style is distinguished, but I do always think about writers who hugely influence me when I'm writing. Margaret Atwood is the first to come to mind because I feel like her writing is so unique and compelling for me.

I'd be lying if I said I don't also regularly think: would @luvwich do this? Especially in the early days of my longfic. Reading her fic, Arpeggio, was so influential to me. My own fic has very much grown into its own creature now, but at the start, it was Arpeggio's voice I was listening to when writing.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

It's called my living room sofa, sometimes with a dog included. Usually in my pjs, with a cup of chai, and ideally some chocolate. If it's raining outside, I am completely in The Zone.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Seeing a handsome brown man. I'm not kidding, that's usually how it starts for me. If he's a secondary character who's kind of out of the way and also has a rock solid moral compass? It's already over for me.

If I'm ever lacking, talking to my friends @lily-alphonse and @totallyhumanexe is the easiest way to clear the block and get creative juices flowing. It's good to have such juicy, juicy friends ❤

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Is rampant horniness a theme? Is pure desperation a theme? I like writing couples who are so in love and crazy for each other because I think overwhelmingly eager consent is very sexy. This doesn't surprise me at all.

If sometimes my characters are bossy power bottoms or whimpering messes or incredibly blunt and mean...that also does not surprise me.

What is your reason for writing?

Ideas grow and bloom in my brain and if I don't get them out they'll take up all the space and leave no room for things like my PIN number and my partner's birthday etc.

Plus writing fuels so much joy in my life. It's good for my soul.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Like anyone, I post my writing partially because I want the gratification of a comment from someone. I'm always grateful to readers for their comments, no matter what they are.

The best comments though, the ones that are the most impactful for me, usually reference specific lines in my work and elaborate on what it was about that part that they loved or that moved them.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

World's most brilliant, evil, stupid, amazing, lovable and intensely attractive person. A Woman For The People. A Girl's Girl. Soup.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I feel confident overall about my writing abilities. I think my dialogue is strong, and I think I'm good at getting into the psyche of my characters. I hope my greatest strength is making my writing consistently interesting.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I like it, I read it. I can feel how much it's improved in this last year alone and I can't wait to reflect again in another year and hopefully see greater strength and distinction 💪

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

To be totally honest, I mostly just think about me. Often, when I write, I'm filling the void of what I wanted to read that simply didn't exist yet.

I do sometimes include moments that I've noticed are popular in fics that have influenced mine, but even that is largely because I enjoyed those moments just as much as other readers, and so I wanted to see them in my own work as well.

[streetkid-named-desire]

uwu @luvwich tagged me for a writer interview (?!) so let's get to the navel gazing

i tag @wanderingaldecaldo and @medtech-mara

When did you start writing?

Since I was like 8. I'm not joking. When we were selling the condo after I'd moved out my mom and I pruned the "kid art" boxes together because she kept nearly everything creative we ever did. There was this assignment where we had to write our own version of the tortoise and the hare in second or third grade and it was honestly pretty witty. Like, it was still very much in the voice I still write with today.

Then in middle school I wrote vampire rescue stories (girl is mid-assault or nearly assaulted and near death, vampire rescues and has to tun her to save her life, she wakes up in a castle) but it was way more gory. I never finished one. As I got older I dabbled here and there but again, rarely finished something. I've written a variety of short fiction and you can read some of my stuff here.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Nooo. Even with movies I generally stick to horror and sci-fi which is also what I enjoy writing. Although, I do enjoy like literary fiction? Satire? Idk I really love Chuck Palahniuk and Doug Coupland.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don't think I've ever been compared to anyone, no. I know my style is influenced by Weird Al, John Scieszka, Chuck Palahniuk, Stephen King, Neal Stephenson, William Gibson. Probably some others but I can't think of their names.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

GOD either my phone in bed or at my desk. My desk is messy and there is a cat bed on it so the cats can be close to me without being fucking pests and walking over my keyboard. I bought a new desk in like June of last year when I first moved into me new place and I...still have not put it together.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Watching horror movies. Also just starting to write. I have to remember to trust and just write, just start writing.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I will say I was SO shooketh when I picked up A Streetkid Named Desire again, especially for how much of myself, my past, my experiences, my history I put into Bea and VG. Otherwise, recurring themes are cynical optimism, push and pull love, autism, kinda antiheroes, body horror, and complex characters. Not to toot my own horn on that last one.

What is your reason for writing?

I have to. I have to get this story out of my head. I play in my imagination. It's actually the only way I can really daydream, that's why I call it my imagination playground.

Mostly because it's part of who I am. I write. I'm a writer. That's all there is to it.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I have...so few comments. The best ones are about my characters and emotions. But any comment is motivating. Mostly because I'm just putting all this out there and it would be so nice for other people to read and share in this experience because it's not just a story it's kind of baring my soul.

I want someone to see me through my writing.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Eeeehhhhhsgghasgbdf I don't wanna think about being perceived. I think just a good author.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Snappy dialogue and character dynamics.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I feel very neutral until I re-read it on AO3 and go "damn, I really cooked." I kinda get excited when I am re-reading for the first time and it's actually good.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Completely and purely for myself. My story and characters are very close to me and I feel just compelled to tell it. I mostly let the characters decide as I write. I write for myself because it's fun and I like seeing the story in my imagination in my head. I want other people to enjoy my writing too but unfortunately I am not likely going to cater to readers lol

This is why I likely will only ever be self-published if I do publish an original story because I could not fathom or tolerate an editor wanting to cut certain things or make it more marketable or something. My writing is all a part of me and part of my soul and not staying true to that, not writing what I want or how I want is crushing.

[pinespittinink]

Hi! I'm a novice writer who is looking to improve. I recently saw your post about how writers need to read published books to hone their writing skills, and I was just wondering if you had any recommendations for books/authors that are very strong in their craftsmanship to read and study? 

I know I should be reading books similar to the stories I want to write, but I haven't finished a published book in years because of work and school. I'm not even sure I know what I like anymore, and I think that's evident in my writing because I can't commit to a single story idea. At this point, I don't know where to start but I know I want to get back into reading by starting with a book I can learn from.

Sorry if this seems like a silly ask, please don't feel obligated to respond. Have a good day!

Hi there! Welcome, this isn’t a silly question at all. If anything I was musing on it because everyone has different taste, so I wasn’t sure how to answer exactly, but I’ll just list some examples I can think of that I’ve really enjoyed! These all fall under the sff genre for the most part, as that’s my jam. Though I will say, for a craft perspective, Stephen King’s On Writing is really excellent.

Insofar as authors i can think of immediately who really have their craft and voice down pat, ones who come to mind are Katherine Arden, Ava Reid, Madeline Miller, Erin Morgenstern, Tamsyn Muir, and RF Kuang. All of these authors really decidedly know what they’re doing with the craft, at least in my opinion, and the results are extraordinary. I’m currently reading The Warm Hands of Ghosts, Katherine Arden’s most recent adult book since the Winternight Trilogy, and the research she put into the setting of WW1 is so evident throughout it, especially in the voice and colloquialisms. She also did a ton of research for the Winternight books, which is historical fantasy at its finest, while creating an authentic old fairytale feeling

Madeline Miller is another with excellent command of voice, the queen of Greek retellings with Circe and The Song of Achilles, which are really tremendous character studies. Ava Reid I personally adore for the nuance of her characters—Juniper & Thorn and The Wolf & the Woodsman feature tremendously human and flawed protagonists—their language seeps through their settings, their metaphors are divine, and A Study in Drowning, her YA debut, is thoroughly saturated with all its core themes.

Erin Morgenstern, of The Night Circus and The Starless Sea, is known for her prose and atmosphere, a prime Vibes™️ writer. The Starless Sea is a more experimental novel, though both of her books play with disjointed timelines and perspectives, which is fascinating; The Starless Sea concerning itself with storytelling specifically.

Tamsyn Muir, the author of The Locked Tomb series, has such a handle on her characters and plot that it’s actually insane. Talk about a masterclass in writing a large cast with defined personalities. The difference in voice between Gideon, Harrow, and Nona, is unbelievably fascinating, just for how starkly different the headspaces of these characters are compared to each other. The layering and reread value is immense.

RF Kuang is a chameleon writer, who changes her style to match the genre she’s writing (grimdark historical fantasy, dark academia historical fantasy, contemporary satire-turned-thriller). Babel feels like her magnum opus, a modern day classic that I cannot praise highly enough. A slow start, but halfway through shit hits the fan, and it does not stop from there.

Shout outs also to: Simon Jimenez with The Spear Cuts Through Water, epic fantasy that uses first, second, and third person, and is a miracle for it. A masterclass of storytelling. Roshani Chokshi with The Last Tale of the Flower Bride, which might as well be evil toxic sapphic adult Bridge to Terebithia, dripping with decadence. Emily Habeck with Shark Heart, a contemporary spec fic novel that studies grief and caring for loved ones through a lens of terminal illness in the guise of a genetic disorder that turns people into animals; it plays around with script structure sometimes, and made me sob. Cormac McCarthy with The Road; bleak and dismal and post-apocalyptic, and nameless man and boy, nearly poetic. Camilla Andrew @aninkwellofnectar with When the Stars Alight, a romantic fantasy that positively teems with lush intentional language and is also a fascinating look at third person omniscient.

For classics: A Wrinkle in Time, the Lord of the Rings, Wuthering Heights, Frankenstein, Lord of the Flies, The Great Gatsby, Lolita.

I don’t think you can go wrong with any of these books or authors, though at the end of the day, there’s something to be learned from any book you read, whether it’s a good lesson or something to be avoided. I’m also down to try to give other recs, if you’re looking for anything specific!

[take-me-to-valhalla]

Author Questionnaire Tag Game

Tagged by @ladyniniane! Thank you so much, it was very fun to do!

About me

When did you start writing?

I know exactly when and it’s a good story.

Sowhen I was 13 our Lit teacher wanted us to write a free-subject essay. I decided to write a short sci-fi story (it didn’t make the cut, but what matters is that it was the first time I was allowed to write on a free subject). Later in the year, he asked us to write an incipit for a book. I dug up this sci-fi short story, and I wrote a few more, thinking I was just getting ahead of the assignment...and then it dawned on me that I could write even if no one would tell me to do it. And I could write whatever I wanted.

It all started from there. In hindsight I think this teacher knew exactly what he was doing.

Are there genres/themes you enjoy reading different to the ones you write?

I read a bit of everything. Fiction, non-fiction, comics, fantasy, classics... The last book I read was A Moveable Feast, and it’s really far from what I write. I do it because I’m curious (and I feel like I’ve exhausted most of the great fantasy books...what a shame) and because it’s great to read great writing.

But I enjoy writing fantasy because it’s a way to explore fun stuff without being restrained by silly little things like « accuracy* » and « vampires don’t exist ».

* I say that and then will read 62105 books to see what people would eat for lunch in 1820.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

When I started writing, I wanted to write like Pratchett or Gaiman (...alas). Pratchett because it’s genius, Gaiman because I loved the way he said very good things in a very plain style (...maybe that’s why I loved A Movable Feast. I think I’ll read some more Hemingway) and that’s something that’s hard to achieve when you’re just a 15 years-old who just discovered how to tell stories.

Recently, Marguerite Yourcenar sucker-punched me with Memoirs of Hadrien. But I could never hope to reach her level D :

Now, I don’t want to emulate anyone. Finding my own voice is enough.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space?

I have a dedicated study/art room (perks of being a single homeowner) and on my desk are dictionaries, thesauruses, grammar books, etc. along with several notepads that help when I brainstorm. But I write wherever, be it at work, at the library, etc.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Listening to dedicated playlists. Walking. Driving. Fleshing my characters enough so that they can do stuff on their own and I just have to put them in situations.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I don’t think so. But maybe I wouldn’t write so much about old cities like Paris or London if I had actually lived there ?

Are there any recurring themes of your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Running from things, changing names and identities. Loss. Justice, in its many forms. The way it can become distorted, perverted. Magic shaped by beliefs and superstitions. Angry women (and sad men). Also sly feminism.

It’s been there ever since my first attempt at a novel when I was 14. It's a mystery, even to me.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favourite character?

Since I’m living in his head at the moment : Polidori.

He’s an edgelord’s dream : a feared, skilled vampire assassin. But he recently had a very, very bad day, lost all he had, and gained a very, very inconvenient awareness of his former life. Ever since, he’s on an ongoing indentity crisis (the inside of his head sounds something like this, on loop)

He’s not a good character. Really not. He did horrible things and plans to do others. He has no soul and cannot feel genuine love. But he has to come up with a solution to his problems, and will maybe learn a few things along the way.

All in all, a complex, but compelling character to write, and I really want to see him through his character arc.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

I do like Dante, who is basically me-at-15-but-as-a-boy. He would be unsufferable, but I could forgive him. Raphaëlle would be nice to hang out with too, I think. We'd go to cafés and museums.

Which of your characters would you dislike most if you met them?

Characters I wrote to be unpleasant, like Losim, who is an unrepentant egoistical dick, and Matthias, who is not bad, just very irritating.

Tell me more about the process of coming up with your characters.

Either they come up when I need a certain character for the story – like the five runaways in the story I am writing – and I let the story flesh them out as I write…

Or they are characters I invented when I was 13 and who, Ship-of-Theseus-style, became something else entirely. (oh, Raphaëlle, how you’ve grown).

Oh, and sometimes it’s entirely unplanned. Like Sid. He started as a joke character drawn for a comic. And I decided to write him in the novels, and here he is now. Traumatized and deserving better.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Women are angry, men are sad.

More precisely, women are always fighting for something either big (fighting the unfair government for Armoni, fighthing patriarchy for Isadora) or small (fighting to prove she can do everything on her own for Raphaëlle), while men tend to have terrible lives that they will overcome. Hopefully.

Probably because I like writing angry women ? Even when they are angry about petty things.

A third category would be « bastards ». Because these are always so fun to write.

How do you picture your characters?

I can draw some of them (and I take full advantage of it) but sometimes it’s hard...like Lionel is supposed to be astonishingly-good-looking, but I’m not good enough to picture him right. Some of them have a pretty defined physique, while others not as much. The longer I write them, the more precise their features become.

My Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Because if I don’t write, I die.

More seriously, I don’t feel good when I’m not writing in a while. I have all these ideas and all these characters, and I really want to be able to tell their stories and share them with people.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Sometimes I get fanart. This is like straight up heroin for me.

But most of the time I am happy when I managed to really get a reaction. Like YES tell me how this scene was so sad and horrible and that it made you feel so bad, that means I did a GOOD JOB.

Writers are sadistic.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?

I want to be seen as a good writer who writes good stories with great characters.

And who sometimes draws funny yokoma-type comics to go along with the greater story.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I’ve been told that I have a good, professional writing style. I also feel I am good at tying different plots and timelines together (not as good as, say, Brandon Sanderson, but one step at a time)

How do you feel about your own writing?

I feel like I’ve come pretty far. I know I write well – though it took some time accepting it –, but I’m worried it might never be « good » or « marketable » enough for it to reach a lot of people. But that’s something I cannot control. The best thing I can do is continue writing.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

YES.

I often joke that I am my own fandom. So it wouldn’t change a thing for me, really.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I write for myself, so I write purely what I enjoy. I couldn’t ever be one of these writers who chain-write formulaic books that sell. Kudos to them, that sounds like a lot of work.

I don’t care about what’s popular or cool, I just want to have fun putting my homemade blorbos in situations.

I tag @searchingforakeythatdoesntexist, but if you see this and feel like answering it, feel free !

[reginrokkr]

Hello! If it is not too much to ask, would you be willing to share some of your favourite writers blogs?

Hello there, nonnie! Yes of course, I'm more than glad to share a few blogs that I love seeing on my dash. I must preface, however, that what might work for me might not work for you as I'm aware and it would feel wrong to me to just drop here blogs without offering at least something worth noting so you can have a more solid idea of what I enjoy about them or what I can highlight about them as to not go blindly, so excuse me if the post might be a bit on the longer side! It's also worth mentioning that I will keep it small so I can focus on those I've been mutuals with for a longer time. Now, without further ado here's a modest list:

@inavagrant & @starsdescent

I feel like it's appropriate to mention the two of them as a pair because, while individually they have their own fortes and specific particularities, it's great to read their novella-style interactions together and see how beautifully they weave solid relationships between their muses. As someone who sees that is more likely to see time skips in different muses' relationships rather than going through it and see their development up to the moment where they currently stand, I have to say that seeing them doing the opposite of that and putting care and patient in the way their muses develop together is a rare yet beautiful gem.

Furthermore, I have to say that @inavagrant makes great lore analyses and reasonable observations and @starsdescent has interesting insights of the characters they write and something I particularly appreciate and love is that common fandom perceptions of them that might not be as sensible are discarded and they have no fear in voicing it out and make it clear.

@scarletooyoroi

I've known Jace for years and I can say easily that it shows how much he loves the lore and how seamlessly he makes use of it for Thoma in ways that are adventurous, explorative but also sensible to his character. Let it to him to be the brains of how to introduce Thoma in a plethora of situations or other characters' lives that at first one wouldn't know how to make it happen and you'll receive great results. He's super friendly to talk with and it's great to see firsthand how he works to improve his writing each time.

@samyavastha

As with Jace, I have the pleasure to have known G for years also. While he's pretty busy with work and that restricts and limits his time to RP, the love he has for the characters he writes and the passion with which he not only interprets them but also learns about the game's lore and puts it together in his writing is simply mesmerizing. Rather than being someone who writes headcanons often, he lets his writing do the talk in order to see glimpses of the prism from which he sees Diluc and specially Al-Haitham now.

@ereipiia

I'd be lying if I said that I don't love Steph to bits. While she isn't too active, the writing she pulls when she does is worth the way. She has a beautiful way of writing poetically and there is no doubt the love she has for the muses she writes, be it writing them or actually doing breathtaking art of them and more. One thing I like about unique takes of the muses she writes is that you can tell them apart from others and she doesn't cater to what part of the fandom in general says, which can be biased for multiple reasons, tastes, etc. Despite this uniqueness, you can recognize the muses she writes as said muses.

@risingsol

Xue deserves her moment of spotlight for multiple reasons. Although we met when I moved to the Genshin fandom, these years with her have been great. She's really easy to talk with, reasonable and she has a special way of making people cherished in the fandom, it's a light of her own hard to find, truly. Although she also has a multimuse with a far lower activity, her love for Aether is astonishing. That feeling when someone makes you love a character from their writing is great to stumble upon and that's exactly what she does with him considering the hardships of writing a character like Aether (and Lumine too), the opinions everyone has about them, what have you. She stands her ground in her portrayal of Aether and be it smaller things that are easy and rapid-fire to respond to or longer and meaningful threads, she can pull both easily.

@maquiscursed

Charline and I have been mutuals for a significantly shorter time, but I have to say that she's a joy and I'm really happy that we crossed ways. She's really easy to talk with, kind and patient. The love she displays for her characters is obvious with every post and even tags she writes and she has great personal insights about Genshin's lore and her own characters. As I mentioned with a few before, she doesn't fear to vocalize when she isn't into some takes that the fandom in general might have about some of the muses she writes. Something I appreciate deeply is how easy it is to plot with her and exchange huge ass paragraphs back and forth of answers.

There are more blogs that I enjoy deeply being mutuals with that unfortunately I don't know what to say without making it a line short, as most of who I gushed about I have deeper ties with that I hardly have with anyone else with an exception (although that can change in the future, I'm sure), I will be referencing them here for you to peek into their blogs, nonnie:

@dilucisms / @aalberich ; @narvvhal ; @lumitris ; @hydroglia ; @goldenpeng ; @frozenambiguity ; @galactia ; @ninebow

[the-players-arcade]

I posted 55 times in 2022

32 posts created (58%)

23 posts reblogged (42%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@strikers-saloon

@noblevicartstudio08

@valorxdrive

@ycungmagick

@mcrged

I tagged 50 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#rp - 25 posts

#mors est semper: death - 16 posts

#theplayer(ooc) - 10 posts

#more than a weapon: faith - 9 posts

#strikers-saloon - 9 posts

#the player(ooc) - 5 posts

#valorxdrive - 5 posts

#art - 4 posts

#ask - 3 posts

#crabs - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#(and i don't fully have the confidence in writing a trans character cause i'm afraid i'll write them in a way that might upset people.)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

help there’s too many crabs oh god.

i clicked for 1,000 crabs i. really should’ve have I cant even see what i’m typing.

the website cannot handle this many crabs.

3 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#4

A Peek:

This is Faith. The new muse i’ve been working on. Like I said, i’m still not done with her Backstory, so the only thing available on her page right now is a Summary, and a link to some Extra Details I included.

Honestly I am excited about putting so much effort into her. I feel really good about this.

3 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

#3

“Ya know... I think I missed this look.”

(Commissioned from @noblevicartstudio08​ !)

3 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

#2

Oh shit, I forgot to upload this. Oops. I uh, tried drawing Death in the style of Faith: The Unholy Trinity. Sorry if it doesn’t look that good.

Edit: Decided to do a bit of a touchup with the picture to make it look better! I admit the more I look at it the more I realize I did a good job.

5 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Continued from Here! @valorxdrive

She tenses up slightly as that golden color lights up the area around her, looking for the source of it as the beam of light suddenly appears in front of her, the grip she had on her Keyblade tightening as she quickly pockets the small device she was holding. The aura was comforting, strengthening even, but she still felt slightly on edge. An old instinct, to be cautious of the Light.

And then she hears his voice, seeing the vague form of a person begin to show through the light as it diminished around him. Complimenting her for how well she fought. She watches as the light evaporates and he fully forms, first taking notice of his friendly demeanor, which manages to put her at ease, letting her Keyblade dissipate from her hand for now. He had certainly gotten across that he was different as well, in his own way. Though she couldn’t help but feel a bit surprised that he didn’t seem to react to the fact that she and the Heartless she fought looked similar to eachother.

“I uh, just happened to be in the neighborhood.” She replies, a hint of nervousness in her voice as she rests her hands in the pockets of her cloak. Truth was that it wasn’t just coincidence that she happened to be here to fight off Heartless. It might be easy for Sora to pick up on the fact she wasn’t telling him the truth, as she didn’t have a lot of experience with lying.

She can’t help but look around once more, making sure there weren’t any other Heartless in the vicinity. “...Your Heart’s like a lighthouse with how much Light is in it, by the way. I can sense it just by standing in front of you.” She admits, before turning to face him once more. “I’m Faith. Who are you?” She asks, offering a hand for him to shake.

6 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[pcm-vandermeer]

Writerly Questionaire

I was tagged by @winglesswriter. Thank you!! I'm not able to do every tag game but I'll give this one a try 💜

About Me

When did you first start writing ?

Back in primary school, at about 8 or 9 years. I wrote stories for our class newspaper as well as musical fanfiction (way before I knew what fanfic was haha!)

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Not much! But I do indulge in literary books and poetry once in a while and I'm sure I would have a hard time trying to do what those talented writers do.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

My writing style depends on what flavour the story has, e.g. I'm currently trying out an Austen novella with Austen-esque language. That said, English is not my first language, so I try to do nothing too fancy.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I used to write at our kitchen table, but now I have a desk! Yay! I don't think I could write outside my home, but I've never tried.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Reading, listening to music, and long walks with my dog when I have little else to think about.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Absolutely! I'm more comfortable writing smalltown horror or other desolated places than a big city setting.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Not sure, actually! Queerness and 'the other' often reoccur, as well as self-acceptance, but I write those things consciously. One thing that did surprise me that I now cannot unsee is that my MCs often feel like two sides of the same coin. If that's anything 👀

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

This week I'm obsessed with Dr Claire Rajan, the MC of one of my WIPs. She is such a deliciously deranged maniac, and I love her very much! She's beauty, she's grace, she'll kill you in your sleep (or something).

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Realistically, Christopher (human), because he's kind, respectful, and knows fun places to eat and hang out. I have a sci-fi hacker OC (human) who would be super cool to befriend in real life, too. But admittedly, Tobiathan (demon? monster? eldritch horror? unclear!) would be fun too -- both for conversation and scaring off people I don't like 😈

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Probably one of the side characters that I specifically designed to be dislikable, haha! In "Far Beyond The Moon", that'd definitely be Richard. I'd go insane if I had a co-worker like that in real life.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

I have a rather fanfic-y process of coming up with characters and stories, but it's usually, "Wouldn't it be cool if an X character fell in love with a Y character?" The vibes depend on the context. Wholesome beans Christopher and Gyth were my comforting fantasy during quarantine, while Claire and Satoko are more evil and nasty because I've created them in a spiteful mood, if that makes sense. From there, some characters grow and change while others don't. The prototypes of Christopher and Gyth, for example, are so different from their final forms that I'm 95% certain I could get away with publishing their story as an entirely separate book.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

They're all monstrous in one way or another.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc

As real people from my (Spongebob voice) imagination.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

To have something to read/indulge in that is almost entirely catered to my personal taste. Again, very fanfic-y. (Thanos voice) "Fine, I'll do it myself."

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Any comment for my writing is a good comment in my opinion (exceptions prove the rule). I'm especially proud when people say they felt really immersed in the story/setting.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

That's a hard question! Maybe as a fun queer horror writer ✨

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Another hard question!! I want to say 'likable characters', or 'chemistry', but I'm not sure haha!

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Though they didn't phrase it as my 'greatest writing strength', a few fanfic comments have pointed out pacing, which I'm proud of. Oh, and nothing's better than to read "this was sooo sweet" after you've set out to write some tooth-rotting fluff! Mission accomplished!

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

Not sure! I'm still learning. But looking back on the stuff I've written, like six years ago or so, I'd say I've already come a long way.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

I do write for myself first, so probably yes? But I wonder if I'd be busy simply trying to survive in that scenario 😂

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I mostly write for myself and hope that whatever I throw out there might find its audience. That said, I do think about what other people might like the most when I'm choosing which project to work on next. The self-publishing world can be cruel if you're not 'writing to market', which is why I'm relieved and happy whenever I see authors who write similar stories to me and thrive doing it!

I'm doing an open tag for this one! Thanks for reading!!

[h-a-unted]

💞💞💞 three for me?

send me a 💞  and i’ll tell you something I like about your portrayal !! 

FOR YOU? LOTS AND LOTS! I want to take Laura separately because the way I've grown attached to your portrayal for her is out of this world! I honestly don't know how you do it, but I mean when I say that you write her so accurately that I do feel like I hear her whenever I read your replies (and I get so excited for them). I love how you put your own headcanons for her and how they match and fit the universe so easily, they even connect well with my Travis and I'm so happy for it! You show just how strong Laura is ALONG with her vulnerabilities without disrupting what has been shown in the game and even EXPANDING on what we couldn't see. Like I am always so surprised to see your writing on her AND THE DEDICATION you have towards her (and the other girls!). I love her so dearly, you made me love her even more than I already did!

NOW I'm taking Kaylee separately too because I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU MADE HER SO ALIVE AND SO FITTING when the game gave us close to nothing about her. It makes me want to see more of her and actually miss her. The dynamic between her and Travis, how she saves him from his own darkness, how she is so kind -- just like how Travis described her, and also how lively she is, you've given her so much LIFE! Your portrayal is canon to me, she is super dear to me, you have no idea (and super dear to Travis, of course)! I'm glad you took her as muse because she needed development from someone who cares for their muses and that's you, definitely!

NEED I TELL YOU HOW MUCH I ADORE THE UNTIL DAWN GIRLS? How you touch upon Jessica's struggle after the events, how disturbed she is and quiet, the temperature headcanon, the dynamic you've been able to make between Emma and her? LIKE, COME ON, they aren't even from the same game and you've actually made me feel like Emma has always been there with her somehow! You've given so much care for Jessica and the way she's been scarred for life, I just want to hold her and give her all the love she deserves, just like you have. I know I've said this a lot but goodness I love how you care for your muses, it shows in your writing and headcanons for them, as well as the way you want to share them with us. Sam, too! How strong she tries to show herself and how she can break (without having to seem weak, just exhausted and human), I am over here wanting to develop even more and I never expected to want to know Sam as much because I thought they had given me enough in the game, but I was so wrong! Ashley, too! I am In need to see more of her, to have my muses share with her and get to know the sides of her we weren't able to see. I usually have this love-hate relationship with her because of some of the outcomes she has, but when it comes to your portrayal I cannot hate her at all and I find myself wanting to get to know her again with your style! BONUS! Let me talk about how good you are at writing Wednesday, too! It's the care you have, the love for your muses that shows with every little thing you write. You evoke her voice (and all the other's too) so excellently, I can imagine her saying every single thing and you have her quirks thought of down to a T. Never did I think I'd want to see Emma try to protect a camper and make a friendship with one of them, but like I am in need for more Wednesday and Emma and seeing Travis have a little terror of a "daughter" is giving me so much life, you have no idea! You are an excellent writer, you can understand characters so well that it shows, and it makes it so much fun.

BONUS BONUS the fact that you give me a chance to develop my own characters whenever you write. You consider your partner when writing, you give me a chance to see different outcomes for my characters and you deliver the same care you have to your own muses to them and I cannot be any more grateful than I am. You are amazing, your style is also so beautiful, with clear descriptions that are both pretty and straightforward. IN SUMMARY; GREAT STUFF, FIVE STARS.

I am mega lucky and this was really long just to say that you're excellent and I love EVERYTHING of your portrayal and writing!

[stylesharlow]

imagine being a singer and making a song like “favorite part” by mac miller & ariana with jack 🥺 manifesting that for myself

ahh my first ask! this is so cute & i love that song 🥺

-

(Y/N) and jack met at an award show, she is an r&b singer and he was attracted to the jazzy undertones that she liked to incorporate into her music. they soon started seeing each other exclusively, their chemistry and similar music styles made a collaboration seem match made.

"baby c'mere my producer put me on to this beat this morning." jack called her over to where he sat with his laptop on the couch, he pressed play and a velvety baseline mixed with distant saxophone and snare had them both shutting their eyes and letting the music fill the space.

"that's smooth, you gonna use it?" she could just imagine the directions his next project would go in if he started off with something this great.

jack shrugged his shoulders and suddenly looked shy, "was thinkin' we could do something together, jus you and me."

she kissed his cheek and without saying anything pressed play on his laptop and began performing light vocal riffs overtop the beat, jack looked at her work with complete adoration, there was nothing like seeing another artist in their element.

this was their process for the remainder of the afternoon, their beat playing in the background as they stood opposite one another in the living room with their phones out voice recording all the different ideas they each had. it was shaping into being a love song, jack and (Y/N) were both writing across from their muse, inspiration wasn't hard to find.

eventually they made their way back to the same couch and as she was mulling over her verse in her notes app, jack shut his laptop and gently grabbed her phone from her hands, it was growing increasingly more difficult to keep his attraction to her at bay.

before (Y/N) could protest, he leaned over her and started kissing down her neck, he could feel her pulse beneath his lips.

"love watchin' you sing to me, so pretty...my talented girl." (Y/N)'s face grew warm and her eyes fluttered closed as he continued to kiss every part of her neck.

-

they recorded the song together in the booth the following day and the chemistry was palpable. jack couldn't; take his eyes off of her, he questioned to himself if it was weird to want to have sex to a song you wrote, but ultimately decided it wasn't. his verse alone gave him all the ideas he needed for that later.

there was no denying this song was a dedication from one of them to the other, each verse was a love letter, and both of their fans couldn't wait to call it babymaking music when it finally came out.

jack also brought her to a few tour stops to help him perform it live, if they could get through it without falling into a fit of laughter at each other's dancing, he would even steal a few touches which drove his audience crazy.

a collaboration was definitely a match made.

-

i absolutely loved(!!!!) writing this, please don't hesitate to send in more requests :)

y'all have also been so sweet and i literally started this blog like 2 days ago, i'm having the best time. can't wait to write more! xx

[todoscript]

how he would ask you out

request: pls some headcanons of how the boys (shinsou/tamaki/shouto) would ask the girl they like out 🥺

characters: shinsou hitoshi, amajiki tamaki, todoroki shouto

genre: fluff

word count: 3.3k+ total, 900-1200 per character

tags: pining, confessions, fem!reader

author’s notes: sorry if this sounds rushed?? i can’t write 

copyright 2021 todoscript, all rights reserved. i do not allow my creations to be published or translated anywhere else.

SHINSOU HITOSHI

two years after his enrollment into the hero course, shinsou had finally came to terms with the feelings he’s been holding for you for quite some time now.

what began as just friendly encounters and kind gestures felt like something more to him. after all, you were one of the key people that led him to transition smoothly into the class, with your helpful demeanor and coming to his aid whenever he was stressed and troubled by the new environment.

you went out of your way to organize study sessions and small arrangements to mingle and get to know the other students better.

you reiterated to him that if he ever had any questions about anything, he could always come to you.

initially, shinsou thought he was being a burden—that he was just heavy baggage that tied you down.

however, you assured he was anything but, and stated that you were more than happy to help him, even going to say you enjoyed spending time and getting to learn more about him.

at your response, shinsou was appalled at how genuine you were.

appalled… but also very grateful.

eventually, there came a point when he realized there was no mistaking the affection he felt for you—not when he subconsciously noted every one of your habits and intricacies, able to tell whatever emotions were running through you at a simple glance, or when he would stop to admire the way you decided to style your hair differently or changed your look, thinking you seemed even more charming that day by the confidence you exude.

no, at that point, he’s sure it was painfully obvious. so obvious, in fact, that kaminari and mina had chosen to skip today’s group study session in favor of letting the two of you have your “alone time”. whatever that could mean.

shinsou had grimaced over their excuse of “being too busy that day” when you had told him the reasoning they gave you over text, despite knowing their next exam was only a couple days away. recalling just how nosy and enthusiastic they could get when involved in these kinds of affairs, he had an inkling of what exactly those two were planning. you, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to their schemes.

however, what did latch onto your mind was the thought of spending the day with only shinsou, in his very room, sitting across from each other with your textbooks open in front of you. though you should be more attentive to your studies, you couldn’t help the palpitations beating loudly in your chest and your wandering eyes that snuck glances at him after every question you answered.

unbeknownst to you, shinsou mirrored your actions all the same, reciprocating the flustered behavior, albeit a bit more subtly.

keep calm, hitoshi. why are you getting all worked up? he would say to himself, putting on his usual facade.

although he came off as relatively calm and collected on the outside, it’s difficult to keep his emotions in check when actions never lie.

that was especially true as he reached his hand out for the eraser you two were sharing between each other. with his eyes continuing to gander down at his notes, he hadn’t noticed that you were lunging for the same thing—not until your fingers had suddenly touched and you both pulled away at a speed equivalent to making contact with fire.

his stare unfaltering, shinsou was surprised to discern the embarrassed look on your face that immediately fixed itself as you rummaged through your pencil pouch. a second later, you pulled out another eraser, one that was notably smaller than the one you were sharing.

“um.. i’ll just use this,” you offered, and shinsou rubbed the back of his neck, the whole situation more awkward than it needed to be considering you never had any trouble sharing your supplies with each other before.

through some examination of your demeanor, shinsou had made a… bold enough claim, thinking that maybe—just maybe—you held the same kind of affections for him as he did for you.

it’s like he recalled earlier—actions never lie—and shinsou didn’t let the quiver of your lips or the intense concentration at your work to avoid meeting his gaze go past his head. that’s what spurred him to finally act on his desires.

without warning, he leaned forward on his seat to lay his hand over yours that caught your attention. you met his eyes, astonished to say the least, but more so concerned by how your eyes widened before you were about to open your mouth to ask him what was wrong.

the violet-haired male beats you to your words, voice resonating firmly, “y/n.”

you blinked. “y-yeah..?”

“i know this might be a bit late coming from me, but,” you could feel his hand tighten atop yours, “after exams, do you want to catch a movie together? just the two of us?”

shinsou fought the urge to look away, bashful at how he made his declaration for your time. the warmth surging under his skin was alleviated at the smile that slowly curled on your lips as you rotate your wrist, your palm touching his. the expression washing over your features told him you’ve been waiting for him to ask you this for a while now.

“i’d love to.”

AMAJIKI TAMAKI

ever a shy and introverted individual, tamaki has never had the heart to ask you out despite years of harboring a crush on you.

every time the thought had crossed his mind, he’d reason poorly with himself that you wouldn’t be interested in him in that way.

it didn’t help that his low self-esteem only deepened that thought that had now rooted itself in his brain.

at such a prestigious school like u.a., you were bound to find someone far more compelling than him—someone with guts, confidence, and great social skills. not a guy like him who conjures the image of potatoes at every anxiety-inducing encounter he comes across.

he was relieved enough to settle himself comfortably as just your friend—a title that allowed him to stay close and keep within your circle, all the while subjecting him to simply admiring you from afar.

but his eyes that held a hidden longing for more weren’t overlooked by a fellow student of his. or to be precise, the ever curious and free-spirited, hadou nejire.

always aware of his surroundings, it was hard not to notice that peculiar stare she’d aim at him during moments where he might’ve just finished speaking to you, or when you’d pass by and his head would naturally drift in your direction.

it was like she was picking apart every detail laid on him and it made tamaki absolutely restless.

tamaki’s suspicions and anxiety were later raised during one instance at the lunch table. he was at his usual seat next to his other big three companions, mirio and the aforementioned nejire, who was eyeing him with a gleam in her eye.

even with his self-consciousness, tamaki did his best not to pay any mind to the undesired attention and munched on his plate of takoyaki—the octopus nestled in the batter sure to come in handy later in training that day.

to his dismay, you passed by their table with your tray of food in hand, and nejire did not waste any time calling you over in that cheery tone of hers.

she invited you to sit down with them. you gave her invitation some thought before ultimately placing yourself in the free spot next to mirio, with nejire and tamaki already seated across from you.

the girl was all smiles and hums while tamaki was in a state of distress, both at his friend’s odd behavior, which was starting to spell trouble, to having you pulled into all of this. mirio was just being mirio, welcoming as always.

you greeted everyone at the table, making eye contact with mirio and nejire, but tamaki evaded your line of sight. he simply waved his reply without breaking away from his balls of takoyaki.

luckily for him, you didn’t give his lack of words much thought and started digging into your own lunch. it was then that nejire found it appropriate to start up a conversation.

“y’know, y/n, i’ve been meaning to ask you this, from one girl to another,” she mused, finger waving around playfully, “are you interested in anyone here?”

upon hearing her question, tamaki almost choked on his bonito flakes, his cheeks puffed and eyes blown. meanwhile, your chewing slowed as you gave your answer some thought.

“uh… well–”

“i’d say fujita from class d is quite the looker! think you’d be interested in them?”

after swallowing the food in his mouth, tamaki began to subconsciously listen in on the conversation. he paid close attention to your responses with bated breath, a small part of him anticipating your answer highly.

“fujita’s nice and all, but i don’t think we’d really get along as a couple.”

tamaki mentally sighed, relief evident all over his face. it was then that mirio had started fitting the pieces together after watching his close friend’s brow wrinkle throughout the entire exchange before finally relaxing at your words. crossing his eyes with nejire’s only confirmed his suspicions as the girl sent him a wink.

as a friend, mirio wasn’t about to let nejire’s operations fall flat. getting up from his seat, he motioned tamaki to come with him.

“i heard they have extra yakisoba bread right now! we should go check it out!” he said as a guise to give the other two time to themselves, free from tamaki’s prying ears.

unaware that mirio had caught on so quickly, tamaki didn’t object to tagging along with him. mostly because he thought of this as an opportunity to get some fresh air and calm his racing heart, finally feeling the effects of the blood rushing to his face.

with tamaki supposedly out of earshot, nejire was free to go about her questions however she wanted.

“okay then, if not fujita, then who? there has to be someone, right?” the girl scooted further in her seat out of pure curiosity. “tell me, is it perhaps someone in our class?”

it was your turn to be stricken by her boldness. you tried picking at your food, stuffing it into your mouth to avoid answering, but nejire’s tenacity outmatched you.

finishing your lunch, you opened your mouth to speak, “actually, the person i’m interested in is pretty close to you…”

nejire feigned ignorance, innocently placing a finger under her chin. “who? mirio?”

“ah no, it’s tamaki, alright?!” you ended up blurting, voice hushed but frantic.

bingo. hearing exactly what she wanted, nejire returned to her original position, a triumphant grin plastered on her lips. replaying what you said out loud in your head, you buried your warm face in your hands.

unbeknownst to you, tamaki had ended up hearing the whole exchange around the corner coming back to their table as mirio lightly snickered at his revelation of an expression.

the blond patted his shoulder. “go on then, you know what to do.” he threw tamaki an encouraging thumbs-up.

the boy gulped in response before inhaling a deep breath of air to prepare himself for what would arguably be the most important yet stress-inducing moment of his life so far.

noticing you getting up to discard your tray, tamaki—through a final push from mirio—went to make his move.

hearing him suddenly call out to you, you were caught off-guard. after admitting to your crush on tamaki to nejire, you felt your cheeks get hot just seeing his face right afterward.

“oh hey, did you get your hands on those yakisoba breads?” you scraped up a way to start the conversation.

“right... that… mirio managed to get the last one in the cafeteria,” he answered. then he brought his hand to rub his elbow, fidgeting in his spot as he found it difficult to look you in the eyes again.

“tamaki? something wrong? are you upset that he got the last yakisoba bread?”

he shook his head. “no, i… it’s just… i’ve been meaning to ask you this for a long time now, but never had the courage to say it to you because i didn’t think you ever liked me that way. but…” he finally mustered the determination to face you head-on. “would you go out with me, y/n?”

at first, you were speechless—absent of words as you relayed his request in your mind over and over again. then, your eyes softened, lips easing into a smile as you reached out for his hand.

“i thought you’d never ask.”

TODOROKI SHOUTO

it’s no surprise to many that when it came to asking someone out, todoroki didn’t exactly know the first thing to do.

mostly because he’s never asked anyone out to begin with.

you were the first person he’s ever felt these kinds of emotions for, and to be frank, he wasn’t sure what to make of everything that had been going through him when that root of infatuation had started to bloom inside him.

rather than sulk or contemplate on his thoughts for too long, he surmised it was best to simply come clean and ask for advice.

but when he confessed to what had been on his mind lately, he wasn’t expecting such a vigorous response from his friends.

“i’ve been thinking about asking y/n out.”

there was a layer of uncomfortable silence amongst the group before all hell eventually broke loose.

midoriya, uraraka, and iida immediately sprung from their seats in the common room, yelling “what?!” in unison. tsuyu and her frog-like mannerisms were more idle, but still surprised nonetheless.

todoroki was unfazed by their reactions, actually expecting it to go that way considering he’s never brought up any topics of that nature before. at the very least, he’s thankful he decided to say this when it was just the five of them. compared to what the whole class’s reaction would have been like, this was incredibly tame.

todoroki was used to always listening to what others had to say and never being the subject of the conversation when it came to dating.

but now things were different. he was openly admitting to them that he was regarding someone romantically. that he possibly sought a relationship with this someone—wanting to be committed to them and become the very best person he could be right next to them. to the four, this was coming completely out of left field.

after everyone simmered down and let the news sink in, the dual-haired boy resumed his thought,

“but i’m not sure how to do it.”

though the entirety of the group never had any experiences when it came to dating, they knew enough from media and pop culture to get an idea on how to help him. more than todoroki could imagine on his own anyway.

“i know! how about we go with the romantic and suave approach!” uraraka suggested. the rest asked her to elaborate.

“it’s simple! it starts by you leaving a note on her desk right before class, saying to meet you on the rooftop of the school! before the designated time, you should wait there for her with a bouquet of flowers, and then when she arrives, confess your feelings and ask her out!”

midoriya rubbed a finger against his cheek, skeptical. “i don’t think that sounds as simple as you’re making it out to be.”

tsuyu chimed in beside him. “those kinds of ideas usually only work well in books, ochako.”

pursing her lips, uraraka gave her plan a once-over, and realized it did seem a bit more involved and out of character than what todoroki was used to.

despite sharing a few more ideas with one another, they couldn’t narrow it down to any perfect one.

that was when iida clapped his hand, bringing everyone’s attention to him.

“alright, i think we’re starting to blow this whole ‘operation’ way out of proportion,” he said.

“if you’re honest about the way you feel about her and show it sincerely, i’m sure she’ll consider your feelings. you don’t have to do anything extravagant when it comes to asking someone out.”

listening throughout every word, todoroki nodded. meanwhile the other three were astonished that their class representative could be so whimsical when it came to romance, which in turn, iida was conflicted by. however, at the very least he was glad they could help out a friend. and so, todoroki went about his day with their discussion in mind.

he found that in many occurrences, whenever he crossed by you and thought of it as a chance to ask you out, there would always be someone to come in and take your time away. leaving him to stand there awkwardly before dismissing the fated question for later.

eventually, the sky dimmed and evening arrived, and by then, the whole class was already back at their dormitory and about to have dinner.

through some rather convenient circumstances, you two were actually assigned on kitchen duty that night.

“it’s been getting pretty cold lately so i was thinking we should cook up a hot pot for everyone.” you gave your idea to him as you pulled out some ingredients from the fridge, waiting for his reply, but it came a few seconds later than you were expecting.

“right. sounds like a good idea,” todoroki answered a tad late. upon realizing it was only going to be the two of you making dinner tonight, his mind was occupied by what he and his friends spoke about earlier.

that was when he started overthinking the situation and absentmindedly half-assed his work.

“todoroki, the cut on the tofu is slightly uneven.” you reviewed his cutting board. looking down, he saw the inconsistent slices of tofu limp in front of him. if bakugou were the executive chef for the evening, he would’ve had to hear an earful from him.

“sorry…” he apologized quietly, reaching out for another cube of tofu to cut.

“is everything okay? i know you’re still learning how to cook, but i’ve seen you show some significant improvement on your knife skills recently.” you voiced your concern for him.

the white and red-haired boy stared at the white bean curd while hearing your worried tone and couldn’t find it within himself to continue the task. it was now or never he thought. he laid the knife flat on the cutting board.

“actually, i wanted to ask you something.” he turned toward you. “do you… want to go out with me?”

nothing but the sound of the fire running on the stove could be heard in the kitchen. todoroki didn’t move his eyes away from you, watching you nearly drop the plate of siu choy and shiitake mushrooms out of shock as your mouth was hanging open.

when you caught onto your bearings, you let out a small laugh. “oh… i… wasn’t expecting that,” you admitted honestly, placing the ingredients on the counter safely.

the boy furrowed his brows. “is that a no?”

“n-no! i mean that isn’t my answer! i–” you fumbled with your words, cheeks warming up now that his confession had finally sunk in. in the meantime, todoroki found your reaction quite amusing. the corner of his lip quirked into a grin.

“what i mean to say is that yes, i’d love to go out with you.” you accepted the offer wholeheartedly. todoroki would be lying if his heart wasn’t throbbing from anticipation. he’s glad he’s able to rest and put that aside.

“now let’s continue making this hot pot together!” you cheered, smiling widely and he found comfort in your words before resuming slicing the tofu.

[moonstruckwytch]

musings on breakfast and maybe unrequited love, through the voice of draco malfoy

Harry,

Potter,

I want someone who will write me back every week, not just when they remember to. Someone who comes over for a standing movie night and we trade off who picks. Who teases me for my choices but I know doesn’t actually mind, because his choices are just as bad, as sentimental, as weird. Someone who fits in with my friends (you do. How did you make them like you so quickly?) Who joins us for dinner and game nights and beats us all at cards, without us even realizing he’s winning.

It’s weird that you’re away and didn’t tell me you were going. I don’t think I consciously expected that you would, but now that you haven’t I feel strangely about it. What happened that we went from good morning every morning to days of silence?

I bought myself chocolate muffins the other day, because I was craving chocolate cake. It didn’t work and two days later I caved and bought myself the cake too. Neither are very good. Poor substitutes for when what I really want is something baked by my mother. I think part of living alone is the realization that to treat yourself—kindly or otherwise—takes effort. I used to come home from school, and there would be banana chip muffins sitting on the counter, and because there were multiple people in the house, they would last at most a week, and then we’d wait for her to make them again. The right combination of time, and ingredients, and the desire to do something for her family. And now I live by myself and I don’t even eat bananas so there’s no reason to have any sitting, browning on the counter. And even if I were to bake a batch, they wouldn’t be as good, because I had been their inception and their creator and had known the whole process, rather than being surprised by this nice thing, just appearing on the counter, through the love of someone I love. And then they’d probably go rotten before I even got the chance to eat all of them anyway.

The expiry date on the muffins I bought was yesterday. There’s two left in the plastic shell. I pulled one out for breakfast today—at three pm, and you’re not allowed to judge me—and was hit with that intense chocolate scent that promises much more than it delivers.

I bite into the muffin and wonder what it would be like to sink my teeth into you.

Hopefully you’ll never read this.

– DLM

something very different from my usual style brought on by my own three-pm-chocolate-muffin-breakfast, and being in love with my best friend who might or might not love me back. unbetad.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Heartbreak Ave.

When they’re in love with you but you have feelings for a different member (Hyung line)

→ tags/warnings: SFW, angstyyyyy (like, I’m sorry but at the same time I wanted to write something sad), no, there’s not a happy ending really idk so read at your own heart’s risk, but like really. I was listening to “Manos de Tijera” while writing this so it’s a wee bit heartbreaking

→ a/n: I don’t really write reactions very often but this seemed fun when @sierra-fics​ brought it up! I actually have one of your suggestions in my drafts, just haven’t finished it up yet. Thanks for the push, though! I love exploring different styles!

read the maknae line version here!

Kim Seokjin

he’s not surprised

it’s probably the worst part for him, the fact that he’s not surprised when your eyes light up as Taehyung waltzes in the room. 

he had been in the middle of plucking up the courage to invite you to try out that new Thai restaurant you’d been chattering about when Tae walked in

and you tried - you really did - to pay attention to what Jin had been saying, but you faltered a bit as Tae greeted you warmly and plopped down beside Jin

and Jin just watched, not surprised. 

although what does surprise him is how much it hurts

that pain where your heart literally, physically hurts? it’s an exquisite pain, one that takes his breath away

and it doesn’t go away

it doesn’t fade

so he ends up in Namjoon’s studio later that night, and Namjoon knows to wait for him to open up

Jin just stares for a while, blankly at the wall

“Does Tae like her?”

Namjoon already knows who he’s referring to. He’s known about Jin’s helpless crush on you for ages, he knew before Jin himself figured it out

but it’s the way that Jin asks the question so softly, so carefully, that Namjoon realizes with a start that this is so much more than a crush

and Jin looks at him, misery clear in his eyes but also clear resolve visible  even as unshed tears glimmer 

“Would you really let her go?” Namjoon counters gently. Because he knows. He knows that if Tae got the green light, you'd be swept up in a matter of seconds.

and it’s the way that Jin stares down at his feet, and the tears begin rolling down his cheeks, that has Namjoon sick to his stomach

Jin nods, and when he speaks, his voice shakes but he sounds so earnest that it breaks Namjoon’s heart

“I’d do anything for her.”

no words are exchanged after that for a long, heart-wrenching moment. it’s just Jin, staring down at his feet and quietly sobbing, and Namjoon, pulling him into an embrace. 

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

it’s surprising to Jin, just how much that soft phrase cuts through him. It sounds so final. 

because at the end of the day, it’s the only solace that can be offered to him. 

he lost. 

he loved, and he lost.

Min Yoongi

you’re sitting beside him in his studio when the realization hits him like a freight train

sprawled sideways in your designated swivel chair while you stifle a yawn and rub your eyes, Yoongi wonders when he let his emotions get so out of hand

because you’re offering him a shy smile and asking him a question that he numbly answers, but on the inside he’s a total clueless mess

when did he fall in love with you?

it’s something that will haunt him long after you leave that night, rushing out when you get a call from Hobi

for the second time that night, he’s hit with another realization

he’s still reeling from the fact that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with you, so when you gasp and grin when your phone light up with a call, he falters

it’s like being doused with a bucket of ice water, the way you whisper, “oh, it’s Hobi!” and politely ask if you can take the call before rushing out into the hallway

“oh,” he mumbles to himself as the door closes. “it’s Hobi.”

and he laughs. 

quietly, darkly. he laughs to himself, at himself, whatever. 

because of course it’s Hobi. his best friend, his vitamin. you two deserve each other. of that much he’s certain. 

he doesn’t waste too much time feeling sorry for himself; he’s logical enough to see that you two are probably a better match. it’s nothing personal.

so why does he stay in his studio all night, ignoring any calls or messages sent his way?

he’s not sure when he fell asleep, but next thing he knows he’s sprawled out on his little couch and you’re gently shaking him awake

“Yoongo? Did you stay here last night?”

his eyes crack open at the sound of your voice, just enough to be met with your sweet smile

and he, in his half-asleep state, smiles back. he reaches one hand up to gently brush back a strand of your hair, and he swears you lean into his touch

and when you mumble something about Hobi bringing breakfast up, Yoongi is hit with the third realization in less that twenty-four hours.

it’s startlingly simple: 

he wants to cry. 

so he excuses himself to the bathroom, and cries. sets a five minute timer so nobody gets worried and comes looking for him, and allows himself that time to cry. 

then, with machine-like precision, he washes his face and puts some eyedrops in, and goes back out to pretend like everything is fine.

and whenever Jin or Taehyung bring up acting, Yoongi knows. He knows, deep down, that he’s the best actor of all. 

because he still loves you

and you will never know.

Jung Hoseok

hobi has never been the most forthcoming with his emotions

he keeps them on lockdown

monitors them with military-like focus

so he knows the exact moment he begins developing feelings for you

(it’s when you brought Bang PD a bouquet for valentine’s day, just to make him blush)

and he knows the exact second when he fell in love

(it was when, after a grueling day at work, you silently walked through his door with his favorite goodies and left without a single word)

(you were wearing a yellow cardigan that day)

(he’s never looked at the color yellow the same way)

if he’s completely honest, he’s sometimes trying so hard to stay on top of his own feelings that he forgets to watch out for where your attention may be drifting

to be fair, you kept your own little crush on Jimin a secret

so when Hobi decides to get over himself and just shoot his shot, he decides he’s all in

and when you arrive at his apartment that night for a movie, you’re shocked to see a bouquet of yellow flowers in Hobi’s shaking hands

“hey” he breathes

you stare at the flowers, then at him

“hello...?” then, with a sinking felling, you point at the flowers. “are those for me?”

hobi smiles broadly. “yeah, they are.” and he hands them to you, allowing his fingers to brush up against yours 

it’s electrifying, that small touch

and again, he’s so focused on how electrifying it is that he misses the way you look like you might be sick

pale face, concerned expression

he misses it all, because he’s so nervous but so stupidly in love that he’s just barreling ahead.

gotta get this out of the way

ugh, feelings

and so when he leads you to sit with him out on the balcony, he takes a deep breath and looks at you with wonder in his eyes

and that’s when he notices the way you’re fiddling with your bracelet

not a problem, except for the fact that it’s the one he saw Jimin carefully choosing from an online collection

so when you keep fiddling with the bracelet and avoiding Hobi’s eye contact, he gets it

he takes a long look at all those emotions he keeps in check, and allows himself a moment of self-pity before reaching out and laying a hand atop your own

you immediately stop fidgeting and look at him with wide eyes. he can see with a pang how you’re trying to come up with the best way to let him down easy

so he does the job for you

“I just wanted to say thank you for the other day,” he says, forcing a light tone. “when you brought me those goodies after work. It really meant a lot.”

you blink, confused. “Oh. uh, you’re welcome.”

“and,” he drawls, a well-rehearsed smile clawing its way onto his face, “I wanted to snoop and get the inside scoop about Jiminie. I know he got you that bracelet. did he finally cave and confess to you?”

you look shocked, but you burst out into relieved laughter. “how did you know?”

he didn’t. “how could I not? he’s absolutely whipped.”

and you blush under the stars and begin to ramble, lost in your excitement and joy. 

and Hobi watches. smiling. supportive. laughing at the right spots and asking all the right questions. 

later, when you give him a tight hug and thank him for the fun night, he lets the words sting as you call him “such a great friend.” he lets them sting, relishing in the pain. 

he reminds you to take your flowers home, and you begrudgingly admit that they’re your favorite type of flower. 

he didn’t know. but that hurts, too. the fact that he got it right. 

Hobi never looks at the color yellow the same way again.

Kim Namjoon

he’s told you he loves you a million times now

every night, in every dream, he tells you how much he loves you

adores you with everything he is

you manage to find your way into his music, his musings, every piece of artwork he comes across

he's never been like this before

never, he’s sure of it

and everyone knows, except for you.

it becomes a strange game for the boys to play, dropping hints at every opportunity, laughing at your confused expression

Jungkook and Taehyung especially enjoy the chaos that they create, making Namjoon groan and grow embarrassed

but you have no idea

or are you just willfully ignorant?

all Namjoon knows is that he’s swimming in his feelings for you, completely lost and on the verge of drowning

but, oh, what a way to die

he’s never been able to stop himself when it comes to you

and he considers himself rather disciplined, but the way you make him feel he could throw caution to the wind and give it all up

so when you end up staying late one night at the apartment, the boys manage to convince you to stay

“there’s plenty of room” Jungkook muses, feigning deep thought. “besides, it’s too late for you to drive back tonight. just stay.”

and while Namjoon wants to kill them all for the way they offer up his bed to you, he thinks he might actually die when you reluctantly agree with a yawn

he knows he should offer to take the couch, but something stops him

it’s like he physically can’t

“I don’t mind sharing the bed” you state, squinting at him while wearing his basketball shorts and oversized t-shirt. 

you look adorable. he’s unsure of how he’s even functioning right now, to be honest. he’s melting.

“just keep your snoring in check, loser”

and he’s back to laughing, turning off the light and hopping into bed

you’re so far away

why are you so far away?

“hey” he whispers, the sound so loud in the quiet. the only other sound is the muffled voices of the other members, no doubt down in the kitchen gossiping about the events of the night

“hey yourself” you whisper back, turning to face him

he can see you in the moonlight, his eyes having adjusted just enough.

and he wants to kiss you so badly

so he smiles, heart leaping when you smile back

and he reaches out, gently tracing your jawline. 

you say nothing, heart thundering in your chest

because to be honest, you’re confused 

why is he looking at you like that?

but you don’t ask as Namjoon takes a deep breath, steadying himself before propping himself up on one elbow and looking down at you with an adoring expression

your eyes flutter closed as he brushes his thumb against your cheek, and he can feel your heartbeat racing

your reaction gives him all the courage he needs as he leans down, lips capturing your own in a long, sweet kiss

and he’s going out of his mind because he finally kissed you, didn’t he?! finally!! 

but those are your hands on his chest, and instead of pulling him in closer you’re gently pushing him away

“namjoon.”

he’s never hated his name so much.

“I’m so sorry- I- I thought that maybe-” he stutters, pulling himself upright as you do the same, and he launches out of bed, hands in his hair “I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“Namjoon.” you repeat, and he notices now how utterly distraught you look. 

because you’re still confused, but there’s one name rolling around in your head even as you can still taste namjoon on your lips. 

“I...” you shake your head, unsure of what to say. “It’s just...”

and he’s looking at you with big eyes, taking in every single word you say. and you want to take it all back, want to let him kiss you until you’re breathless, but your heart won’t let you. 

“Just what?” he asks quietly, afraid of the answer. so afraid

“...Jungkook.”

two syllables, and his world comes crashing down around him. 

namjoon is silent, avoiding your gaze as he grabs one of the pillows off of the bed and a spare blanket, heading toward the door. 

“I’ll sleep on the couch. I’m sorry.”

and he’s gone before you can utter another word. 

sure enough, the boys are still downstairs, and they all fall silent as Namjoon appears, throwing the pillow down on the couch. 

“Hyung!” Jungkook asks, scrambling over. “Hyung, what happened? What are you doing down here?”

Namjoon can’t bring himself to look at the maknae, not when he can still picture how it felt to kiss you. not when those few seconds of paradise are still on his lips. 

“Didn’t wanna wake her up with my snoring.”

because how could he ever be angry at the boy that looks at him like he’s his savior?

--

m.list || buy me an orange juice?

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[cornflowershade]

okay so I watched the Winchesters pilot (c’mon, it’s Jensen’s show. I had to, despite myself.) And considering I had negative zero expectations... I’ll say it was fairly okay. The pacing sucks (hopefully it’ll improve) but that could be because they had a ton of exposition to include. The filming and music are also nice. And it had a vibe it was going for, even if that wasn’t nailed all the way through the pilot. But yeah, pilots can be rough. BUT OOH I gotta add, Carlos is wonderful. (I’ll definitely keep watching for him.) Now as for the main characters..... John is actually great. I thought I’d be mad because he’s not Matt Cohen haha—and don’t get me wrong that would’ve been cool—but this worked. He’s written quite faithfully in personality to what we’ve previously seen of young John, and the acting is very good—he carried most of the episode. I’m also impressed his performance was so consistent, considering he was acting across a LITERAL BLOCK OF WOOD. Which brings me to the depressed part of my review, which is that Mary absolutely sucks. Not only is she written EXTREMELY out of character (falling more into a stereotypical “action girl” trap* rather than being her own person, who we’ve seen brought to the screen beautifully by two different actresses in the past), and not only does she look wrong (the hair. the makeup. the styling. I’m still crying over this), but she’s so annoying. Yes, not just cookie cutter, but actively annoying. And worst of all is that the acting for her is plain bad?? When she talks it’s like she’s reading off a script, without bothering to actually acknowledge that there’s other people around her in a scene. It’s like she’s walking around in an invisible box, and John and everyone else are on the other side of it. They may as well have green-screened her in. I wish she could be recast because Mary is the weakest part of the show, no question, and I’m happiest when she’s off-screen. Which makes me so sad to say. (Also side note, but this led to me musing that John and Carlos had five times as much chemistry as John and Mary did lol. Tell me I’m wrong. Two scenes and by the time they were in the back of the van I was like... okay yeah I’d ship that for fun.)

* @argentnoelle​ noted to me that it’s a bit like she’s acting in a different genre from the rest of the show. One part stock-cw-action-character and one part netflix-original-movie.

Also Latika is kinda stock and a bit over-acted. I kept going back and fourth on her. If they bother to improve her, I think that could be very possible. 

Ada on the other hand is already good imo. I like her and hope she will be recurring.

ANYWAY those are my feelings on it so far, and surprise, I will in fact keep watching. Yes, it’s kinda mediocre, but again? John and Carlos are both good characters, as is John’s mom by the way. Also I want to know how the canon-conflicting content will be explained away. (Probably something to do with angels? I think the magic box thing has to do with angels btw. It glowed blue, and for me that counts as evidence lol. Also speaking of effects, why do the demons have voice filters, that is such a bad choice. The visual effects are also kinda odd and not very spn.) But yeah it has just enough going for it that I’m gonna stick with it, especially because this is Jensen’s lil passion project. What can I say, it’s been 15 years and I wanna support the guy. 

*sigh* I’m gonna struggle sitting through more scenes of Mary, though. They did our girl SO dirty. In a show with generally good writing/characterization, and otherwise nice casting, I’m just so confused why Mary suffers from the exact opposite.