#((-and admittedly i still do-))
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"The problem is people don't read classics anymore"
No I think the problem is people don't read WIDELY. The ONLY ya and/or fantasy romance crowd is just as insufferable as the ONLY classics crowd or the ONLY litfic crowd or the ONLY nonfiction crowd and vice versa.
You gotta get some variety in there my guys
#admittedly I personally do not care for most litfic#but I still dip my little toesies back in once and a while
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Unsolved Mysteries.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Spoilers: It was Wei Wuxian the whole time!#Once again this one was on the chopping block but I saved it for just a better comic flow.#Admittedly I do have a critique of the pacing here. Namely that we really should have ended the flashback when WWX fell.#And then gone back to present time for a bit - or even go to a different flashback.#The sense of time passing isn't as strong as it *could* be.#We get *told* three months pass and that they've been looking for WWX. But to the audience it's been...15 min.#Less than seven minutes if you count the flute playing.#This guy when through a whole aesthetic and persona shift in less time than it takes to walk through a corn field.#Guy who listened to less than half an emo album and dyed all his clothes black. And jorted all his jeans.#Timeskips can be sudden and work out just fine! I personally feel like this one would be stronger with better pacing.#Feel free to disagree with me!#In case anyone is wondering why JC and LWJ are still holding hands: 1) Haunted house episode.#2) I needed to practice drawing hand holding at some point. Might as well get the rough and sloppy ones out with these two.
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how am i meant to ha wahoo yippee through life in these conditions
#vu talks shit#in this past week i have#gone to urgent care without insurance#paid about half my bills#been reminded that i still owe someone another near 200 for a trip i leave for in TWO DAYS#AND i paid for a rental space for something that i am ADMITTEDLY VERY HAPPY ABOUT BUT STILL SO BROKE NOW#and i have done ZERO grocery shopping#and im not sure i have the money to do grocery shopping right now#but im scared to look at my bank account after shelling out nearly 1k on everything else#AND i have to take my cat back to the vet soon cause she's starting to have asthma attacks again#i need to put everything new in my shop and put shit up for pre order cause i got charms im working on#but mAn i just#cannot afford the distractions rn#vent#AAAAAAAAAAUGH#i didnt wanna put that but i am stressing in the tags now
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The number of times I reach for, "I'll make a complicated baking project!!!!" because I know it'll take time and concentration (i.e., I can't focus on anything beyond the mechanical for a bit) and comes with a positive output that people who aren't me appreciate (i.e., desserts) makes me think I need other coping mechanisms.....and also that I might somehow understand those people who work out a lot.
#working out sounds terrible and I don't want to but counterpoint: I cannot keep making cookies.#I went through 4 lbs of butter today. that's....so much butter.#I don't even want to eat them! I have virtually no sweet tooth!#I just want something repetitive and mechanical that I can do while my higher brain functions take a lunch break.#(admittedly I am making christmas cookies they're going to go in my freezer for a few weeks#it's not SO ridiculous. but still ridiculous.)#no love sincerer than the love of food
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more clothing (featuring Mafuyu and Haruka)
#two things that bug me:#One: the match up. Previous duos were reasonable and in unit. But...I think Mafuyu and Haruka never interacted in a meaningful manner#I can reason it with them being both seawings..which makes sens but it's such a stupid compromise ong#Second: I initally wanted to go with my usual two designs but this time I noticed that they actually matched quite well so ig it's 1.5#nitpicks aside: more trying things out. I was a bit unsure how to tackle seawing clothes since cloth wouldn't be handy underwater...#but then I thought “But what about making cloth that resemble radiolaria?” and threw all reason away I suppose#It's fancy but not fully it...the armor was fun though. i don't fully think the shoulderplates are that well executed but still it's good i#I do think I'll do art like those without the clothing though#It helps portray bodyshapes better like how Mafuyu's bulkier than Haruka. Or how Shizuku is more roundet than Shiho#...but admittedly I think that's just me subconciously convincing myself to make updated refsheets...#but they are not only refsheets but also my silly little dress-up-game for when I'm bored (always)#art#my art#doodle#project sekai#prsk#hatsune miku colorful stage#wof#wings of fire#haruka kiritani#mafuyu asahina#prsk wof au
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Those wacky skeletons ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Sans#Papyrus#Handplates#You can tell because of Sans' gloves lol#Getting-used-to-them-again doodles as well as just expressing Feeling <3 Happy towards them! Want them to be happy too!#It might seem silly for these - how many sets in now? - to still be getting used to drawing them again lol but it's because they're adults!#Their clothes and the way they hold themselves - but also especially Sans lol I dunno why I have such difficulty with him at times#He's got a cute face and I still find myself like ????how your face#Other than that tho it's just silliness hehe ♪ My favourite lads :D#I feel the need to make the distinction: I do actually have different favourites based on the AU lol#Like for example in classic I still love Flowey just a tiiiiiny bit more than Papyrus but it really is constantly neck and neck#Whereas in Handplates it's no competition even a little bit lol - Papyrus is just my Very Favourite#But Gaster is my favourite Handplates-specific character since he's unique to the AU! It gets a bit in the weeds lol#Sans isn't far behind at all of course the trio are very important! The duo even moreso imo#Going back to gloves tho I did carry over one of my quirks from my original UT doodles about Papyrus' gloves lol#I initially envisioned them as combination mitten-gloves with a free index finger and all the rest together#I still rather like the design! But it is admittedly not Handplates accurate lol#The occasional dip into self-indulgence who me? Lol#Sleeping on each other is important to me as well!! It is such a favourite hehe#Honestly I just imagined Papyrus getting so exhausted that he fell asleep in the snow lol poor lad#Sans teleported in but it's also funny to imagine him just walking up like ''you good? yeah he's fine'' *flop* haha#Silly lads <3 Do love 'em ♪
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playing with cells again 💜💛
#original#artists on tumblr#oc#original character#ai oc#robot oc#aster#aldebaran (aster)#CaelOS#admittedly this IS still a much faster style than full rendering#even if im literally sketching like a 3d mesh around the character to understand the form a little better#i still don't know what im doing though lol. if not with the shadow placement then how to make it a little more fun to look at#right now it's just a lot of airbrushing
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the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.
(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)
is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.
(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)
on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.
#eliot#eliot spencer#orig#further discussion in further tags#I'm being perhaps a little critical and there are other ways to read eg the fragile masculinity moments#but I Do think they were intended this way and largely come across this way#I'm quite happy playing with a fanon eliot who's better at this shit is the thing? it feels faithful enough to the original.#but this is something I'm chewing over in a rewatch and it's interesting so far#the fact that he pretty consistently respects women doesn't stop him from treating men and women differently y'know?#the fact that his bantering with hardison expresses affection and gets quite soft over time#doesn't stop him from pushing hardison away on a semi-regular basis. often physically.#the fact that the fandom unanimously decided he's an utter gentleman in matters of dating#doesn't quite negate the time he physically stopped aimee from getting away when he wanted to talk to her#though that's one I might disregard because it's so early and I think they hadn't quite figured out the characters then#and it was admittedly a brief moment followed by very consensual happenings#perhaps. honestly. eliot may be reflecting the attitudes of the show here.#which were very progressive for the time and are still startling on several fronts now but also showing definite signs of age#arguably fanon eliot (as I understand him) is eliot adjusted for inflation. as it were.#there's a lot going on here I'm having a normal amount of thoughts about it I'm. stopping now
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Save me king gojo and his loyal knight geto that have crazy gay sex with an awful power dynamic
no wait,,, i know the allure of king!gojo + knight!geto is strong but,,, consider religious-leader!geto,,, just consider it,,,
he's a holy man, devoted to his faith above all else, and so effortlessly charming that he's risen to the highest possible station within the church and to the side of the young, often careless king. he's known for being charming and even-tempered, if a bit curt when it comes to the tedium and frivolity of royal court, but he never acts in a way that would be considered unbefitting of either a man of his status or such shining example of his faith. he's cherished by both nobility and common people for his ability to keep the young king in-line and out of trouble, and no one has to know what kind of lustful thoughts run through his mind whenever he crosses paths with his beloved king's adorable little maid, what positions he imagines you in as he chants his prayers and clutches his roseries, what vile things he imagines doing to you whenever the king lets you out of his sight, whenever he catches you looking at him with more fear than reverence. it's a good thing he's a man of such impeccable reputation. that way, if you do every scrounge up the courage to tell anyone what he whispered in your ear after forcing you into his own personal confessional booth, there's not a chance in the world they'll believe you <3
((he and gojo also still having crazy gay sex with an awful power dynamic but that's happening separately.))
#admittedly i do not know enough about history to know what to call him#priest!geto? ponifex!geto?#is there a word for like#'pope but sexually chaged'?#maybe he can still just be a monk#but like#a hot monk#personal#anon ask
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after Story and Song, the non-Magnus members of the IPRE plus Carey and Killian start packing bags for their big group adventure of Killing Governor Kalen As Dead As Possible, and some of the people who aren't as desensitized as Merle and Taako are to Angus being at murder scenes express some apprehension about the eleven year old coming along for this one. Merle and Taako instead claim they don't want Angus to come because they think he'll snitch (Taako is exaggerating slightly to get a rise out of Angus, but no one can quite tell if Merle means it).
Angus assures them that of course he agrees this is a morally justified murder, and therefore not one to snitch about, but he really wants to come because even in all his years as a homicide detective, he almost never gets to watch murders be committed with his own two eyes! just think of the learning opportunity, sirs! it's not every day I get such an ethically defensible chance to study murdering techniques so up close and personal!
eventually Lucretia sits him down. she gently points out that due to the number of people involved, and those people's particular skillsets, Kalen is going to be murdered in a fashion that not one single person on Faerun has ever been murdered in before or ever will be murdered in again.
and sure enough, when Kalen is stabbed with eighteen knives, immolated in fire, shot full of enough crossbow bolts that they look like turkey feathers, suffocated in an impenetrable magical bubble, impaled by the divine spear of Della Reese, bitten in half by Dupree the Tyrannosaurus Rex, and run over by a literal spaceship all before being resurrected as a zombie to do it all over again... Angus has to agree. she had a point.
however, he does sit his assorted parents down afterwards, and gently asks if they've ever heard of an "alibi" or "reasonable doubt" in their lives. why were you so concerned about me snitching, sir? how was bringing the planar system's only spaceship not snitching on yourself?!
#taz#taz balance#taz balance spoilers#angus mcdonald#ipre#governor kalen#obviously in a universe where neither barry nor lucretia killed kalen long before the podcast#which admittedly i think one of them almost *certainly* did#(see the entire fic i wrote about barry doing it; or my fave of ise's ficlets where barry and luce call a truce to do it together)#but the alternative is still a fun space to play in
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the flowers for the wake were lovely, weren't they?
#SO. I FINALLY FINISHED SEASON 2.#the finale was fun. i liked it a lot more than s1's admittedly#now i'm ruminating on the finer details of kuroba's side of it...#in my head the skit / segment for it would be called kuroba's melancholy so i might start calling it that#i can't decide if they'd still be there when totoko's reading her letter at the funeral tho#like i feel like matsuyo and matsuzou would have invited them to stay but there's a part of me that thinks they'd politely refuse#they'd thank them but feel like they're interloping a bit. after all the rest of them have known the sextuplets for all their lives#they've only known them for around two years at that point so they think it'd be best for them to leave with the rest of the visitors#( they also don't know if they could handle sending them off to cremation. they've had to do that before w/ hibiki and it was rough )#also i kinda like the idea of kuroba running into homura after the wake and becoming acquainted with her#probably stumbles upon her crying in the park and offers her a handkerchief & a person to talk to...#gotta put my head in my hands and sit for a bit#also almost forgot to mention : the earrings they're wearing are kara's white day gift to them#they hadn't gotten the chance to wear them yet...#osmt#osomatsu-san oc#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#mj draws#tw implied death
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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
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The voices are loud and I am WEAK
#nebula rambles#gripping my FUCKING HEAD#i love fnaf sb. i do. i think besides the fucking. INSANE SHIT it canonizes and whips out#it has really cool concepts and actually are giving the animatronics and even the humans (all things considered)-#more personality and theyre so silly#but god. i still remember the confusion and like. befuddlement watching gameplay at last and i watched chaos#bring back the old concepts BRING BACK THE OLD LAYOUT BETTER COMPRESS YOUR GAME STEEL WOOL#and im. grips head.#hey guys im dbs' number one hater#you can hate on dbgt all you want that's. understandable#but GOD NOTHING WILL MAKE ME WANT TO EXPLODE THAN DBS#i know it's definitely for either nostalgia or to bring people back to familiarity whatever#but WHY do you have it take place BEFORE the final episode but AFTER the buu saga#why not just. make it the new gt#why not make an ACTUAL CANON for AFTER dbz???#cause with all the new shit coming in [multiple universes#the gods of destructions and their angels-#NO ONE FUCKING MENTION MAI TO ME IM SO FUCKING ANGRY BY HOW THEY HAVE THE PILAF GANG BUT ESPECIALLY MAI#do i still adore they made broly canon and rewrote him into such an interesting take?#yes#do i FUCKING LOVE the dbs super hero movie?#absolutely#but i cannot look away from the everything else it's attached to#admittedly im an anime watcher bc it's easier for me to digest but i have seen some stuff from the manga after super hero and#anyways this is. long. hi. i have visions i dont know if i'll ever act upon
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Two
For Xiantober Day Three: Conviction (of a sort)... in which the author temporarily forgets to focus on narrative agency or on Wei Wuxian, in favour of analysing relevant themes and characters that relate to Wei Wuxian. But he does get focus, and again, contextualising him is why i’m exploring these other things, so no harm done.
(Part One | Part Three | Full version on AO3)
It’s Not Just Optimism: Resentment and Self-Definition
Before we discuss the narrative again, let’s take a break to discuss one of my other favourite aspects of Wei Wuxian. We’ve seen how the narrative treats tragedy, and we’ll soon explore how it reflects Wei Wuxian’s views on tragedy. But what actually are these views?
Because the thing is – the narrative and plot can emphasise agency and choice all it likes, but focusing solely on that leaves out the character. And it’s Wei Wuxian’s character that deserves the credit for how he defines himself (…in-universe). If someone had gone through everything he had, who could blame them for being unable to keep going, unable to let go of resentment, unable to see anything that was still worth living for, to see any value in altruism?
(Also, I do have to emphasise this: you can have perfectly healthy coping mechanisms, but still get extremely traumatised. Everyone has a limit to what they can take, that limit differs, and that isn’t your fault. It just so happens that Wei Wuxian’s limit is extremely high (and even he reaches it when everything falls apart in such quick succession near the end of his first life!))
This isn’t something that’s ignored in MDZS. We see multiple characters who have gone through similar levels of suffering as Wei Wuxian, or even less suffering than him*, who do react in some of the ways mentioned above. Whether or not the narrative condemns them depends on if they hold onto resentment from their tragedies and use it to harm others – Xiao Xingchen and Qin Su, for example, aren’t condemned for their suicides (nor should they be, suicide/suicidal ideation isn’t anything anyone should be blamed for), because nobody was intentionally hurt as a result. But people like Xue Yang, who was treated cruelly and senselessly lost his finger, but went on to murder an entire clan as a result; or Jin Guangyao, who remembered the slights against him and his mother down to the exact wording of Jin Guangshan’s dismissal of her freedom, which may have justly hurt him but also unjustly lead him to both burn down a brothel and (separately) kill or imprison multiple innocent prostitutes; or Jiang Cheng, whose resentment for Wei Wuxian due to the latter’s actions lead him to harm many others after his death simply because they were similar**, are condemned.
Why mention this? Well, these different reactions show it isn’t just a quirk of the universe that people are more tolerant to pain – Wei Wuxian’s reactions are a deliberate choice on the part of MXTX, not a writing flaw stemming from misunderstanding the severity of trauma***. But more importantly, many of these characters deliberately foil Wei Wuxian, and so they can give us a good insight into what sets him apart from them (or rather, from the characters who aren’t completely broken by their pain, because that way we know it isn’t simply a difference in tolerance but rather one in attitude). And as I’ve discussed, this has to do with accepting events and letting them go, rather than holding onto resentment.
Part of this may come from differences in personality (though that’s never an excuse for hurting others) – but, though Jiang Yanli may claim Wei Wuxian was someone “born with a smiling look” (Chapter 24, EXR), there are two philosophies Wei Wuxian consciously holds onto that have to do with this attitude:
“Let the self judge the right and wrongs, let others decide whether to praise or blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on.” Chapter 75, EXR translation
“Remember the things others do for you, not the things you do for others. Only when people don't hold so much in their hearts would they finally feel free.” Chapter 113, EXR translation
And crucially, these ideas directly contrast the actions and mindsets of the antagonists above. All three focus on their ‘gains and losses’, with their suffering at the hands of others being a major motive to harm those others/those affiliated with those others (Xue Yang’s finger; the slights against Jin Guangyao and his mother due to the latter’s job; Wei Wuxian’s ‘betrayal’ and his role in Jiang Yanli’s death, as well as false blame on him for the deaths of Jiang Cheng’s parents, and Jiang Cheng’s inferiority complex). Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng are also very focused on their reputation, or in other words, on whether ‘others decide (…) to praise or blame’ them (according to Chapter 10 of the EXR translation, in what seems to be omniscient POV heading into Jiang Cheng’s, the latter ‘cared about maintaining his reputation above anything else’. Meanwhile, much of Jin Guangyao’s actions were taken to protect his reputation, including the brothel burning, as a part of the aim was to conceal which brothel he grew up in (Chapter 104)).
Additionally, much of Jin Guangyao’s resentment stems from how others treat (‘blam[ing]’ him, insulting him), compared to how they treat others (‘prais[ing]’ them):
“But do you know what it was that made me lose hope completely? I’ll answer your first question now. It wasn’t that I’d never be worth a single hair on Jin ZiXuan or one of the holes in Jin ZiXun, it wasn’t that he took back Mo XuanYu, it wasn’t that he tried every possible way to make me a mere figurehead either. It was the truth he once told the maid beside me when he was out indulging himself again.” Chapter 105, EXR
Though the other points didn’t make him lose hope completely, the implication is that they did affect him too (as shown by how he speaks about them), with Jin Guangshan’s words about Meng Shi being the final straw. ‘Los[ing] hope’ here of course relates to holding onto resentment, as Jin Guangyao’s loss of hope is what led him to murder out of his hatred.
Finally, both Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng also hold resentment due to holding onto what they’ve done for others, or even onto who they themselves are, without being treated accordingly – and though it makes sense to be hurt by all these things and these reactions are valid, the pain from holding that in your heart and the danger from holding onto it is precisely why MDZS condemns it:
“Why is it that even if I face everyone with a smile, I might not even receive the lowest form of respect, while even though your father was extremely arrogant, people flocked to him? Could you tell me why we were born from the same person but your father could relax at home with the love of his life playing with his child, while I never even dared be alone for long with my wife, shivering out of fright at first glance of my son? And I was ordered to do such a thing by my father as if it was natural—to kill an extremely dangerous figure who could flip out and conjure up a bloody massacre with his corpses anytime! “Why is it that even though we were born on the same day, Jin GuangShan could host a grand banquet for one son, and watch with his own eyes how his subordinate kicked his other son down Koi Tower, from the first stair to the last!” Chapter 105, EXR
(He brings up his role in Wei Wuxian’s downfall due to this as well, in addition to creating any excuse he can to absolve himself of others’ blame – he’s being treated unjustly and hated for something he’s done, even though he was ordered to do that thing by his father and it made sense!)
Jiang Cheng, “Are you stupid? You only counted the time to return and not the time to go there? Let alone the fact that after I got there I had to lead people and search through the entire mountain for the old banyan tree, then dig open the hole that got blocked up by Wen Chao and his people, and rescue you within seven days. Where’s your gratitude?!” (…) He raised his voice, “You killed the Xuanwu of Slaughter together with Lan WangJi, bathing in blood! How great is that?! But what about me?!” He punched his fist into a pillar in the hall, clenching his teeth, “… I have also been running around for days, completely exhausted, with not one second of rest!” Chapter 56, EXR
(And, a bonus to show this being a part of Jiang Cheng’s mindset without stemming from being hurt by a specific event, even when he’s being encouraging:)
“So it seems that both of you killed it together. What’s yours is yours. Why would you give him all the credit?” Chapter 56, EXR
(This moment is a nice display of the contrast between Wei Wuxian’s and Jiang Cheng’s mindsets as well, with the former focusing on what Lan Wangji (‘others’) did for him instead of seeking credit for his role!)
To repeat – of course these feelings are understandable, and I’m not blaming them for feeling this way. What I am placing blame on is letting those feelings drive you to murder many innocent prostitutes, or to let this sense of a debt you’re owed (which is what the philosophy is actually warning away from, because if you hold onto what you do for others, the natural expectation is that they’re indebted to you and should do something for you as a result) turn into resentment towards someone for not acting the way you think they should, leading you to help murder them, even if your sister sacrificed herself specifically to save their life.
This is the danger of holding onto resentment. And are these actions not a choice? Would you, independent of MDZS, absolve someone of a crime because their ‘personality just leads them that way’?
The same is true for acting on these two philosophies, and letting resentment go. And it’s all the more impressive when someone has as much potential resentment to hold onto as Wei Wuxian does.
Of course, Wei Wuxian himself isn’t completely infallible – which further supports the idea that this isn’t just a natural, unalterable quirk, since we see him act contradictory to his usual self as well. But the narrative’s view of resentment in these moments doesn’t change. Importantly, the times he does let resentment drive what he’s doing, during the Sunshot Campaign and Nightless City (as well as him being quick to anger at Phoenix Mountain, etc), it isn’t presented as in the right**** — and though he still lets go of it quickly enough to protect a group related to the one that hurt him (people of the Wen sect, the cultivators who participated in the Siege), it doesn’t prevent the harm done during these times. Additionally, the times he metaphorically can’t control and reign in his resentment in the form of guidao – at Qiongqi Path and, again, at Nightless City – pain is caused to innocents (Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli). This is what his internal thoughts have to say when he comes across cultivators gossiping about him, shortly after Wen Qing and Wen Ning have sacrificed themselves:
No matter what he did, not a single good word would come out of these people’s mouths. When he won, others feared; when he lost, others rejoiced. Chapter 77, EXR
He’s hurt by other people praising and blaming him! Holding onto this philosophy isn’t automatic, that decision isn’t simply encoded within him somehow.
But that brings us to another relevant theme: that these characters aren’t infallible, because they’re not mythical creatures or concepts brought to life. Everyone is human.
However, although he thought that his heart was like a stone, in the end, he was still human, not some emotionless grass or plant. Chapter 8, EXR
OuYang ZiZhen, “HanGuang-Jun, why did Senior Wei collapse?” Lan WangJi, “Fatigue.” Lan JingYi was amazed, “I thought that Senior Wei would never get tired!” The other boys felt somewhat astonished as well. That the legendary YiLing Patriarch could collapse from fatigue from dealing with walking corpses—they all thought that the YiLing Patriarch should be able to settle them with just a snap of his fingers. However, Lan WangJi shook his head. He only said four words, “We are all human.” They were all human. How could a human be tireless? How could they stand forever? Chapter 84, EXR
Even with Wei Wuxian’s temperament, even with his attitude, he’s still human! Just as he’s not immune from being affected by harsh words to do with his past, just as he’s not immune from being affected by exhaustion, he’s not immune to being hurt by or angry at his circumstances. As we see in the Sunshot Campaign and at Nightless City, he’s not immune to dwelling on his misfortunes, to being driven by his hurt and anger and by resentment he holds onto (consciously! At Nightless City, Wei Wuxian deliberately accepts the curses thrown at him, because ‘anger was the only thing that could suppress the other feelings within his heart’ (Chapter 78)).
But nearly always, he chooses not to. The Wen remnants he saved were innocent, yes, and Wen Ning and Wen Qing helped him previously – but in his second life, he could’ve easily kept holding onto his resentment and left the cultivators who besieged him, who killed him and those under his protection, to die at the Second Siege. But he didn’t! He held true to his own philosophy, to judge the right and wrongs yourself independent of what others do, and saved them.
Because this is what’s important to him, because this is how he wishes to act in the present, and because he doesn’t let himself be defined by the tragedies he went through.
The donkey seemed as if it knew that he wasn’t in a great mood [due to others bringing up what happened in his past], and for once, it wasn’t being loud out of impatience. A moment of silence passed, and it turned around to leave. Wei WuXian sat by the stream, not responding at all. It turned around to look, throwing its hooves onto the ground, but Wei WuXian still paid no attention to it. The donkey had to come back sulkily, biting and tugging on the corner of Wei WuXian’s collar. He could choose to go, and he could choose to not go. Seeing that the donkey had [gone] as far as to use his mouth, Wei WuXian decided to follow him. Chapter 8, EXR*****
Immediately after this, he’ll continue investigating the puzzle of Dafan Mountain’s night hunt; he’ll come across a ghost, ask where it’s hurt and offer to take a look at it; he’ll rush off to save Jin Ling and the Lan juniors, figuring out the truth behind the dancing goddess and being the only one to do so. Just as it’s more important to the narrative, this – quick thinking, problem solving, compassion, doing the right thing, even seeking out excitement – is what Wei Wuxian finds more important about his own self, and what he chooses to focus on.
Some final questions to end things.
If you saw Wei Wuxian, without any knowledge of what happened in MDZS, without any work done by the narrative structure or by knowledge of tropes – would you have expected the backstory he had? Would you expect his parents to have died when he was at an age where he could barely remember them? Would you expect him to have lived on the streets until he was nine years old, or to have been taken into an unjust and extremely volatile household, or to have (chosen to) lose the source of powers he was very proud of – shortly before he was thrown, now powerless, into the equivalent of hell for three months? Would you expect his first life to have ended because protecting innocents (knowingly) led to the entire world crusading against him, because their siege resulted in him being torn apart? Or would you not think of tragedy when it comes to this person who gleefully jokes and teases, who’s so smart and competent and knows it, who doesn’t focus on the negatives, who acts so confidently on his morals, who revels in life so much?
If you only saw Wei Wuxian’s backstory with no context of his character, would you expect him to remain this way?
And, if you saw Wei Wuxian’s actions in the present day, without knowing what tragedies happened in his past, would he feel like an incomplete character?
It’s impossible to answer, of course – even in the present day, you get information about his past.
But I’m inclined to say no.
(Part One | Part Three | Full version on AO3)
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*But again, let me emphasise – especially in real life, doing the trauma olympics is never good! As I said, everyone has limits, everyone’s limits differ, and just because one person can cope with something doesn’t mean another person can, even with the same mechanisms. And that shouldn’t lead to any judgement!
I say ‘especially in real life’ because in fiction, some characters’ experiences are often made similar or different to others’ in order to parallel or foil them – in which case comparison is often the point. But trauma olympics (‘this person suffered x amount so the other person should be able to take it!!’) is still bad, guys (especially since, as with MDZS, those parallels or foils are often there to explore the harm they do to others as a result, not simply how much trauma they can take).
**My thoughts on rumours here. Tl;dr, if Jin Ling (someone who’d want to defend him!) is saying he did (and that he “never let anyone go” – Chapter 24), if sources like Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui act as if this is the case (Chapter 10 – to defend, you could say personal feelings play a role, but Lan Wangji especially is someone who knows not to, and explicitly doesn’t, make judgements without conclusive evidence. Again, see my thoughts on rumours) – and if Jiang Cheng backs up this behaviour (eg by telling Jin Ling to kill every demonic cultivator he sees and feed them to his dogs in his introduction – Chapter 7), it’s probably not a simple unbased rumour. There’s enough evidence to support its veracity.
***However, do note that Wei Wuxian isn’t an outlier, either – Lan Wangji, Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui (once he learns of his heritage) are all examples of other characters who aren’t overcome or twisted by their pain, instead still aiming to make the world a better place. And this is Jin Ling’s whole arc, too!
****I delve a lot more deeply into this here!
*****The role this moment plays isn’t actually something I caught myself – it came from a post about a reread of MDZS’ earlier chapters. I can’t find it myself, but if anybody has the link, that would be great (so I can cite it)!
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Also, a shoutout to this incredible meta by @righteousinadversity – it’s what made me want to delve into this aspect two years ago! It’s still one of my favourite metas, and you enjoyed this, you’ll definitely enjoy that, too.
#yes i did gush a bit at the end but it’s *xiantober* it’s the wwx gushing month!#also re ‘antagonist’ and jc – i don’t want to get into discourse but there are two facts#1) an antagonist is someone who opposes or hinders the protagonists (regardless of their morality - eg L in death note is one)#2) jc is someone who does oppose and hinder the protagonists (capturing wwx in present day + being hostile to wangxian + besieging him in-#-his first life… and in his second life)#sure he isn’t one CONSISTENTLY (not throughout a lot of the flashbacks + during the second siege + in guanyin temple)#but that’s still a frequent role he PLAYS#regardless of how you think he should be presented or what you think he’s feeling – that’s the function his actions serve in the novel#anyway fic for day two will come but it’s still being worked on — i was in an analysis mood today so decided to do this first#mdzs meta#my meta#mdzs#wei wuxian#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc#jin guangyao#jiang cheng#(<- a little scared of this tag but he does feature a lot)#xiantober day 3#this does admittedly feel less focused than the previous part but maybe i’ll rewrite it later
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This was entirely tangential to this post from @utilitycaster which is why this is its own post, but the tags made me think about what feels most compelling about Liliana to me, and it's really because there's such an interesting approach to redemption in terms of the sunk cost fallacy to be had there.
There have been plenty of comparisons between Liliana and Essek, but I don't think they're really situations that can be compared. Essek had done one horrible thing (that was of relevence to the story; it is implied that he's taken other actions that he feels were wrong, but we don't know what those entail nor do the Nein care enough to ask, so per narrative convention, they do not matter for analysis) and was only still involved in it to the extent that he couldn't take it back, so to survive he had to continue covering his tracks. But he was also incentivized to otherwise act in alignment with the group that was not those on behalf of whom he had made terrible choices, because he was still living in the Dynasty, and as such wasn't actively perpetuating those actions beyond the cover up.
Liliana on the other hand is acting with the Vanguard and has been furthering if not personally committing atrocities on their behalf for a number of years, continuing to the present. Like Essek, she believes her involvement in the cause to be a difficult choice that was made for noble reasons, and now can't see a way out. But she is also relieved to be told to stay, though at the point that they discuss her leaving, she is alone and outside the immediate range of contact or oversight from the Vanguard. It seems reasonable that she could disappear with a decent headstart, and perhaps become untraceable quickly enough to be safe from anyone following. With this context, returning to the Vanguard with the intention of feeding information to the opposition feels like the riskier choice, but crucially it is the devil she knows.
I actually liken this more to Cassandra de Rolo than Essek. Cassandra was manipulated against her brother by the Briarwoods, but this was also spurred by having watched Percy seemingly leave her for dead. There are legitimate reasons why the Briarwoods, as the people who rescued her and then kept her alive for many years, are the easier option in which to place her trust. She knows what she's getting from that vantage point and how to handle it. She doesn't inherently have faith that someone she only knew as a young and helpless child, who ran from the hardships she's faced, would have the strength or willingness to do what she has found necessary for survival.
I think that Liliana's actions are more willful, not least because she was not a child nor in mortal peril when she joined the Vanguard, but she sees herself as having made difficult choices when only faced with difficult options, and I do think they have been difficult. She didn't want to leave her family; she doesn't want to hurt the young Ruidusborn under her care; she is probably genuinely sorry that innocent people were considered a necessary sacrifice for what she sees as the greater good. It is psychologically taxing to feel as though one is always picking between bad options, which is a significant contributing factor for why people buy into a sunk cost for so long. And over time, those hard decisions become easier, because you know what to expect from the outcome. Though Liliana is well aware that she might be killed for a misstep among the Vanguard, she already knows how to act to maintain their favor, but how she might be received on Exandria by those fighting the Vanguard, even with the Hells vouching for her, is anyone's guess.
This is a very real reason why people remain in cults and struggle to push back against this kind of conditioning: because the decision to leave feels more immediately perilous than the decision to stay. (On a certain level making these kinds of choices and actions habitual is a fundamental basis behind a lot of military conditioning.) And if you are acting in the interests of your own survival, but that survival comes at the cost of that of countless others who have not, in fact, made any threat or harm against you to begin with, then is the nature of your survival morally defensible?
This analysis isn't a question of whether Liliana will commit to her role as double agent and turn fully against the Vanguard, or even which one of these is a "better" story; this is about what the story might say if she doesn't. Yes, she might commit to a different path than the one she's on and make an effort to redeem herself, but it is also a perfectly coherent and interesting story if she doesn't.
#sometimes it really feels like people just. pick a character name out of a hat#and then decide that that character must get what the person feels they deserve regardless of the rest of the existing text#instead of like... considering the text for the story that has already been told and what it might still say from that vantage point#cr meta#liliana temult#essek thelyss#cassandra de rolo#critical role#anyway do not know admittedly how coherent this is but I gotta finish up my work day so I'm posting it. yolo
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Congrats on your promotion (Patreon)
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Simon Petrikov#Fionna Campbell#Cake#Not only the adult in the situation but also her dad! Wow! Lol#When is this set? Don't worry about it lol#I mean when wouldn't it apply honestly haha#Constantly out of his/their depth: The Series#Meanwhile Fionna is just having a fun time :) I just want her and Cake to be happy <3#Drawing Fionna smiling is so nice she's so cute ♪#And admittedly drawing Simon stressed is also very fun lol poor thing#He just has so much fluff to pull on! Stress-scrunches his hands into his hair hehe#To be fair he's doing his best - he's rather competent for being a mild-mannered human!#He does about as well as could be expected and even above and beyond in places#Him calling out the Vampire King out of sheer dadly indignation? Beautiful#And he's still growing and learning :D Good for him#For now tho he gets to come to terms with that fact haha >:3c#How fun it is to be the one in control of your own destiny! How empowering and not at all stressful to be at the whims of the universe!#Ehh he's got a cosmic entity looking out for him he'll be fine#As long as he plays to her tune ♪
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