#(( it's beyond good and evil how tired i am all day ))

[hochmvt]

guys, jetlag + work (five weeks left at this job, i could rage for 13h straight and i'm back for like 2 days) has me in a chokehold. let's just say my sleeping schedule is as fucked as isaiah's. i'll tend to the first threads on the weekend. <3

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Jin "Jiji" Enjoji relationship headcanons

warnings: fem!reader, spoilers beyond the Cursed House arc, OOC, tooth-rotting fluff.

Special thanks to @miaurieee for beta-reading this draft before I posted it :3 I am caught up with the Dandadan manga series up to Volume 10, which somehow I was able to acquire over the Christmas break by nothing short of a miracle given to how my local bookstore keeps running out of stock 😅 So if you don’t want to be spoiled, it’s probably not a good idea to venture any further.

For those who have chosen to stay, I hope you’ll enjoy these headcanons~!

Although he is a flirty and weird-ass drama queen by nature, Jiji is the sweetest guy that a girl would love to have as a boyfriend. Not only is he charismatic, funny, easygoing, he is also loyal. Once he knows he has found that special someone, he is in it for the long haul. And he knows that it’s you because…well, he’s got great instincts! :3

He would definitely walk you to and from school.

Do you want a drink from the school cafeteria? No problem! Just give him a few and he’ll be right back~! He might seem a little flighty, but Jiji has a really good memory. Remember how he knew Momo preferred Pompy even when it’s been years since he’s seen her? Yeah, he’ll have your likes and dislikes memorized in no time.

Dates with Jiji would be spontaneous; ranging between cozy and quiet, like window-shopping around the city and then grab something at the coffee shop, adrenaline-pumping like playing against each other at the local arcade to see who can win the most tickets or going on all the rides at the amusement park, it’s honestly the luck of the draw. But please don’t feel obligated to do everything in one day just to make him happy, okay? If you’re feeling tired and want to go home or if you’re hungry, he’ll totally understand.

Communication and honesty are important foundations in your relationship, so bottling everything up inside is not a good idea and might cause Jiji to second-guess himself or think he’s doing something wrong.

Now, in regard to the whole Evil Eye scenario: he will insist that you stay away from the Ayase residence until the exorcism is completed. He has a mountain yokai inside of his body, and it was his own fault for inviting him inside. The last thing he wants is something to happen to you and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. This would happen if you two started dating right after he transferred schools or continued dating until he left town for the city after his parents’ hospitalization.

Flash forward to Okarun making a deal with the Evil Eye and fighting the yokai on Tuesdays after school, with the cursed underwear being safely kept at Manjiro’s shrine. Once he knows that the Evil Eye will not break his promise, especially after accidentally transforming a few times at home, Jiji will feel a little more at ease being around you. Just don’t go around splashing anything cold on him, just in case. Room temperature is fine. His chi training is paying off, so in the unlikely event that it does happen, he can revert the transformation and go back to normal. He might be a little tired afterwards, though.

If you two weren’t already together prior to the Evil Eye situation, Jiji would definitely be falling head over heels for you as time passed. He would see you as someone who is amazing in their own way, even if you had some glaring flaws and were a bit of a weirdo too :3 Brownie points if the Evil Eye actually doesn’t call you a turd and is semi-well-behaved when he’s around you at school or in public.

Treat this eccentric dude right, and your relationship will definitely be one heck of a rollercoaster ride that will be full of firsts, maybe some scary things, but he’ll be by your side through it all.

Taglist: @bdudette @hoodiepandaninja16 @napbatata @karai-frost @kazudare @myduality @shidousprincess @sleep-all-day-everyday @taesy-miranda-lee @osarumi @satorousgf @cherie-soup @skwunkler @melodiblues @anonymity-222 @cumbersome-robes @zero-in-kyoto @h0undd0gzw0rld @decay-1 @justamegafan @minnie-1-3 @bumblebeebutter @theofficialfem @sadprimrose @bigbodycity @daniiixoxo @silentbreathss @skelletonscloset @mira-belcul18 @thatstrangesheep @thewindigo

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[gay-jesus-probably]

Let me just preface this by saying everyone is allowed to have their own opinions, TOTK is a really fun game, and I'm glad that other people have been able to enjoy the story as well.

...But I'm being dead serious with my complaints about the narrative being 100% imperialist propaganda. And I'm getting really tired of people replying to those posts by saying it can't be imperialist propaganda, because imperialism is bad and the game says that Hyrule is the good guys.

Like, guys. That's not the argument you think it is. Yes, I am aware that the game tells us Ganondorf is a flat, one dimensional character with no ambitions, interests or motivations beyond destroying the entire world for the hell of it, and also it's totally not racist because he's green, not brown like literally every other member of his race. Unfortunately literally all of these things are kind of the entire goddamn problem.

See, the thing is, everyone trying to make these arguments is accepting the game at face value. Hyrule is the perfect and almighty nation chosen by the demigod Zonai, and whose royal family has the right to rule due to their divine heritage. The other races exist to serve the glory of Hyrule, and they're happy to do it. Ganondorf is pure evil and must be stopped at any costs.

But that's not how anything works. The story informing me that Hyrule is the ultimate good that has done nothing wrong is the whole goddamn reason why I don't trust Hyrule at all. There's always more of a reason than that. And the game fucking suggests there was more going on! Ganondorf mentions Rauru has repeatedly 'invited' the Gerudo to become Rauru's subjects, and let's be clear here, it doesn't matter how peaceful those 'invitations' were, when the guy who owns every single magical nuclear missile in the world repeatedly demands you surrender to him, there's always going to be an implied threat of 'do it or get magically nuked'. Just that power difference alone shows us exactly why Ganon would feel threatened enough to invade. It's because Rauru was holding a gun to his head, and Ganon was expected to just trust that he'd never pull the trigger.

And yes, even if it wasn't intentional Hyrule was always threatening to wipe out the other nations, considering the entire royal family walked around openly wearing their magical nukes as cute accessories. If they couldn't be safely hidden away, there wouldn't be four other secret stones sitting untouched in a vault until the last second.

But that's never acknowledged. Of course Hyrule is the only nation with the right to the secret stones; even if other races get to touch them, they can only have them if they swear eternal blind loyalty and servitude to the glory of King Rauru and Princess Zelda. Ganon wanting to have one magical nuclear bomb out of a stockpile of eight of them is proof that he's dangerous and evil. I mean my god, what if he just walked around all day wearing a magical nuke and using its power for his own benefit, that would be terrifying. It's only okay when Hylian royalty does it.

And you can't argue that Ganon betrayed his own people, considering we don't get to know fucking anything about his relationship with his people. He's shows as the leader of the Gerudo, we're told he's a hero to his people, he has soldiers that loyally follow him into battle... and then oh nevermind, they all hate him and will spend eternity trying to atone for sharing a race with him. How did the entire race do a complete 180 in the span of at most a few months? Who cares, what's important is that now they accept they exist to serve Hyrule so they get to be the good guys now and we don't need to know why they were following Ganondorf, or why they stopped following him.

Basically my point is that yeah, I fucking know how the game insists everything went down. That's the entire reason I think it's imperialist propaganda, because the entire story feels like Hylian propaganda to conceal and justify some horrific atrocities that caused all of this. I literally do not believe that I'm getting the story through reliable narrators, especially considering that the only people allowed to actually tell me the story are all the characters that have the most reasons to be heavily biased in favour of Hyrule.

When the game shows me protagonists that have a massive amount of power and control over the entire world, then says the bad guy doesn't like that system just because he's evil, and literally nothing and nobody in the game says anything to oppose that take, I have some questions about what the fuck the story isn't telling me. And I'd really appreciate it if people would stop trying to argue with me just by telling me to stop asking those questions.

[gg-neptune]

Bad Day

A night with Sev after a bad day. Hope you like it. :) Sorry for grammar errors (I love this pic)

Pairing: Severus x Reader

Words: 0.7k

Warings: None

It had been a long day for the both of you

Severus has had multiple students' potions go wrong leaving his classroom a mess and the poor man tired beyond belief

And you had so many disrespectful students you couldn't even recall them all as you thought back about the day that had just occurred

Not to mention a student had managed to somehow set one of your curtains on fire, meaning you now needed a new curtain

Without even thinking as soon as the last student left your classroom you gathered your belongings and headed to Severus’s chambers promptly locking the door behind you leaving a note to those that had detention to wait till tomorrow or something

You didn’t really care what they did at this point you just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep

As you were walking to Sev’s chambers in the dungeons you passed his classroom which was already locked

When you arrived, you decided to at least be polite and knock on his door

“What do you- oh. Hello there.”

You pushed past him ignoring his snappy tone before he realized it was you

You forced the door closed before you wrapped your arms around him clinging to him as if you let go, he wouldn't be there anymore

It took a while before you let go but when you finally did you took notice of the tired expression on his face

“Bad day,” you asked tucking some of his raven hair behind his ear

He simply shook his head before leaning down to give you a gentle kiss

���Me too”

Both of you were still in your teaching robes and after decided to not go to the Great Hall for dinner you both just took a quick shower together

It wasn't your room, so you didn’t have any of your clothes, so you were forced to wear his

Not that you minded

You grabbed the giant blanket off the side of his couch and draped it over yourself curling into a ball savoring it’s warmth as he observed you

“Comfy?”

“No.”

He gave you a questioning look until you reached your arms out inviting him to join you and of course not being able to say no to you he did

His big arms wrapped around you tightly as you settled against his chest one hand pressing against his chest and the other going up to cup his face

“As I am enjoying this, if I stay here any longer, I will not get up,” Severus said gently into your hair. His tone was sad almost like he regretted it.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“You need to eat, love.”

You groaned in displeasure not wanting to let you of your human body pillow

“I know. I’m so evil. What do you want to eat?”

“I’m not hungry,” you claim as you cling to him tighter refusing to let him get up. Even if it was for a good reason.

“Hmmm. Ok.”

Suddenly his arms tighten around you, and he hoists you up carrying you with him to his mini kitchen.

You simply accept this change instead of trying to fight something you know you’ll lose and snuggle closer to the man.

“I’ve got some uh… chicken wings?”

“You eat chicken wings?”

“No, I don't know why they're here. I did not buy these.”

You giggle slightly as you look at the box of frozen chicken wings.

“How about we just tell Dumbledore your unwell and I need to take care of you, and I get some food from the Great Hall for us?”

The man just stared at you still holding you in his arms. 

“Or not.”

Eventually he decided to just go steal food from the Great Hall. He returns with two plates full of food.

“Thank you Sev.”

“‘Course.”

You sit down on the floor and eat at the coffee table in his living room

Once you are both satisfied you store whatever is left over and resume your place on the couch

He seems much happier since he’s been with you tonight

You know you are

You gently ran your thumb over his soft skin as he hummed in content as he tried to relax a bit 

His arms felt safe and secure as if it was the safest place in the world

For you it probably was

You mindlessly began to play with his dark hair 

Until you heard a soft snore

You turned your attention to his face only to notice he had fallen asleep

Gently you wrapped your arms around him falling asleep as well grateful to have him by your side

[itsmewillful]

I will Always Find You

Main Masterlist

Character Masterlist:

(Vox x fem!reader)

Word Count: 5782 (i got too carried away)

Outline: You, the wife of the infamous media overlord Vox, falls from Heaven and you find yourself in a chaotic new world. You meet the Hazbin Hotel crew, but most of all, you met him. Your long lost love.

Warning(s): Canon typical violence, language, etcetera.

A/N: Heyy guys, I totally was not gone for an entire year. . .but, I'm done with High School now so I will probably start posting a little bit more often. . .*no promises though. my memory is absolute garbage*

Also, why am I obsessed with a TV?

Story below the cut:

Heaven.

The place all virtuous and 'perfect' people ascend to after living the life every good person is meant.

You don't even know how you got here. You always thought that you would go to Hell. (Not to put it lightly) Perhaps it was because you were widowed at a rather young age. Perhaps it was because you were murdered by your late husband's arch rival. Or maybe, it was a bit of all.

Your life on earth wasn't bad per se. In fact, you had a very happy life. You got married at the fruitful age of 20, to your best friend, and lived in a very comfortable home. Your husband, Vincent Holland, was a big-time news reporter in your hometown.

But, why was it in Heaven that almost all your memories regarding Vincent were blurry? As if someone with significant power was preventing you from reminiscing on your past life?

You could barely remember his face; his award winning smile. His sapphire blue eyes, and his dark hair.

You hated this.

You couldn't even remember how long ago you died.

Hell, you couldn't even remember how you died. Just that you were murdered one day and your body was left to rot in a random alley.

A hand waving in front of your face interrupted your sad train of thoughts, and your attention immediately shifted back to your friend. Or acquaintance, you weren't exactly sure where your friendship status lay.

"You alright there, partner?"

You sighed slowly and nodded your head in affirmation. You weren't sure if you were doing it to convince them that you were okay, or yourself.

"I'm alright, Kai, just a bit tired ," you mumbled pathetically. Kai was a very beautiful shark-like angel. You met them some time ago and instantly clicked with one another. But, Kai was one of those people that had a tendency of gossiping with their girlfriend Molly. And you were never comfortable sharing anything beyond your life in Heaven.

Which was a pity because you were sure if you shared it, you wouldn't feel so fucking stressed out.

The shark angel let out a small laugh and gently patted your head.

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say m'lady. You know if there's anything bothering you, you could always talk to me or Molly, right?"

You again nodded your head, even though you probably would never take up the offer.

"Hey you guys! How are you both doing?"

Speak of the devil and he shalt appear.

"Hey Molly! I see you're finally off of work?"

"Yup! And I brought a treat for you both!" Molly said in a sing-song tone of voice. Kai smiled with a nearly evil-like grin and made grabby hands at their girlfriend.

"Gimme, I can smell the baked goods!"

You chuckled at Kai's antics and stood up from the chair you were sitting in. Kai raised a brow at you and you motioned with your hand that you were going to get another drink. You picked up your now empty whisky bottle and began to head over to the bar where you and Kai find yourselves frequently whenever you both have had a long day at work.

The bartender, Mr Smiles (as Molly so lovingly named him) greeted you with a very drunken smirk when you arrived at your favourite destination.

"Hello there, Mrs. Holland. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

You rolled your eyes and sat down on one of the barstools, placing your cup down and sliding it over to the bartender.

"Another, please." you said simply. Mr. Smiles blinked at you before grabbing your cup and pouring more of the golden liquid into it.

"The 'Another' for the lady." he said cheekily, to which you giggled. You snatched the cup up from the table and practically downed the strong liquid and forced back a gag when it burned your throat. The bartender chuckled at your silliness and leaned over the bar so you could hear each other better over the loud chatter of the Cloud Nine bar. (You and Kai always found the name of the bar to be hilarious)

"So, you never drink this much unless you have something to spill. Need to talk about something sweetheart?" he asked with a patient tone of voice.

You sighed dramatically and leaned back against your chair, deep in thought.

"I just. . ." you trailed off in thought before sighing again in annoyance at your capability of explaining your biggest problem.

"You just?" he tried to urge you to continue, but was rudely interrupted when a flock of angels came bursting into the room.

"His Holiness, Archangel Michael needs to discuss important matters in Town Square. Everyone present is required to make an audience immediately."

Murmurs began to fill the room in confusion of the sudden announcement. You raised your brow at the bartender, quietly asking him if he knew what all the commotion was about. He shrugged before continuing on with putting the remaining glasses away.

"Hey, partner, we need to head out to Town Square." Kai said, putting a webbed hand onto your shoulder. You nodded and stood up, following close behind your two buddies. Molly, like always, had a small hop to her step as if she was always happy and excited about things. Her partner smiled at her giddiness and soon began to also skip along with her.

Oh, how much you missed being able to have someone to be close with. And once again, your thoughts began to turn back to your late husband, Vincent.

You missed him so much.

And you were fully aware that your beloved Vincent was in Hell. The place you were also sure to go to when you kicked the bucket. But alas, here you are, in the city of silver and gold.

You stopped abruptly when you reached Town Square and noticed how big of a crowd was already there. Thousands of angels and souls alike, all stood cramped up around a huge balcony that belonged to Archangel Palace.

The chatter began to quiet down when the all-loved Archangel Michael stepped up to the balcony and waved to the crowd to silence their speech.

Kai bent over to you and whispered about how interesting things were going to get. You didn't respond, but instead gasped when a photo got projected onto the side of one of the Palace's huge spires. It was a really bloody scene: demonic-like creatures were sprawled all over the ground, torn to shreds from what you could tell. What made you feel faint, however, was the carcuses of angels. What the fuck were angels doing in Hell?

It seemed that a lot of other people were questioning the same exact thing, and Michael, once again announced order from the crowd and the only sound remaining were the hushed whispers.

"It has come to my knowledge that a secret organisation has been founded without my permission. Adam, the first man, and Sera, have been discovered sending down angels every year to kill them." He stopped mid explanation and waved his hand over to an angel that stood close to him. A scroll was placed into Michael's hands, and he unscrolled it and began to read whatever was written onto it.

"According to the words of Sera: Hell has become too overpopulated, and a risk of war could arise. Exterminations have been a necessity, and is, therefore required to keep balance between Good, and Evil." Michael immediately crumpled up the scroll, and threw it back at the poor angel that was beside him to catch.

"This is all tyranny, of course. Me and the Council did not agree to such lunacy, which is why, we are going to have a public vote as to whether or not Sera should be ex-communicated from Heaven."

A loud gasp came from the crowd.

Especially from Molly, who also seemed to begin to tear up.

"That means she'll be thrown to Hell!" she choked back a sob in surprise. Kai patted their girlfriends back to try and sooth her large and soft heart.

You, however, were enraged from the idea of angels going down and killing people. Your beloved Vincent was down there. What if he was killed?!

And like always, your spiral of thoughts was interrupted when Michael began to speak again.

"Just to be absolutely clear, this is never to be discussed with anyone ever again. After the vote is casted, anyone caught discussing this topic will immediately be casted from Paradise, and into the pits of Hell for treachery. I cannot be clear enough."

Murmurs filled the Square as everyone agreed to Michael's proposal.

"Great! Well, everyone better head off to vote now! Have a great day everyone." And like that, he vanished in a cloud of golden smoke.

You didn't realise your jaw was hanging open until Kai mentioned that you looked like a venus-fly trap waiting for a bug to land in your mouth. You clamped it shut instantly and glared at them.

"Chill! It was just supposed to be a joke!" They huffed in faux offence. Molly giggled at her partner's antics, and gently rubbed her fingers in between Kai's fins that decorated their body.

"Calm down, love. We need to head to a voting booth so we can cast votes. I know what I'm voting for."

"Yeah, I can't believe such a thing was happening behind our backs! Who knows how long it has been going on?"

Molly sighed and rubbed her fuzzy face for comfort.

"I don't know, but I hope it wasn't for too long. I believe some of my family is down there."

"Yikes, that's tough. I'm sorry for that." Kai said with sympathy laced in their voice.

You blinked back tears that were forming in your eyes. You would not cry over the possibility that your Vincent was double-dead.

You were strong.

+++

You sighed heavily when you arrived at your small apartment later that evening.

"What a rotten day," you mumbled to yourself. As if on command, your pet land-shark Vark came running into the foyer. You smiled instantly and picked up the little creature and began to pet him between his eyes.

You and Vincent loved sharks. It was a shared passion you both had that made you best friends instantly. When you first got married, you both always joked of getting a shark and naming it Vark.

Well, you had the shark, just not Vincent.

You were thinking about him again, and it was making you feel bad once more.

Why couldn't you remember some things? Who or what was making you forget?

You placed Vark back onto the ground, who of course, whined with the lack of affection from your part. You stepped over the land-shark and headed over to your balcony, that had a perfect view of the Embassy of Heaven. The place you go to whenever you have questions regarding the after-life and anything else.

Maybe there you would find answers.

With a new destination in mind, you grabbed Vark's leash and hooked him up to it. Vark began to wag his tail (well, his fin) in excitement about where you would be taking him. You smiled again at your pet's adorable-ness and began to head back outside once more.

The streets of Heaven were very peaceful. Just about no soul was out and about. It made sense since it was rather late. Around eleven o'clock actually.

Soon, the golden pillars of the Embassy came into view, and you let out a sigh when you realised it was still open. You approached the heavy double doors and swallowed back a scream when they opened up automatically. Vark found it hilarious however, when you just about died a second time from a mini heart attack.

You huffed at your shark and headed inside the golden-themed building and found that it was practically empty. I mean-duh it was empty, it was basically in the middle of the night.

A Cherub, from the looks of it, approached you and gave you a rather judgmental look over.

"Honey, I'm sorry to say this but no pets are allowed." the Cherub said with an irritating tone of voice.

You stared at the flying goat-creature and rolled your eyes.

"Vark, is a service pet. I am afraid you can't throw him out." you lied with a fake smile. One thing that Vincent taught you to do well, was fake things. You were especially good at putting on a fake show. One of the things that, once again, surprised you that Heaven looked over.

Wasn't lying a big sin?

The Cherub interrupted your thoughts when she cleared her throat rather obnoxiously.

"Alright honey. Whatever you say. To what do I owe the pleasure of assisting you with this evening?"

"Oh, well. . .I am not so sure how to explain it." you answered truthfully; slightly cringing at your lack of effort of just telling her.

The Cherub pulled out a clipboard from thin air you assumed (since she most certainly wasn't holding one earlier) and began to scribble something onto it.

"Well, Mr. Heart will be able to assist you with whatever, 'complicated' issue you have got going on." She handed you a piece of paper that had practically illegible handwriting on it, and pointed to a corridor that led to a couple of office rooms.

"Hope you find what you need, honey. Good night." and like that, she sauntered off to what you assumed to be her office. What a weird person, you thought with a click of your tongue.

You began your tread to Mr. Heart's office, and stopped when you reached the door. You lifted your hand to knock but stopped when the door was flung open and a rather energetic angel stepped out of the room.

"Hey there! You must be one of the 'poor souls' Chili sent to me! Come on in!" he moved aside and held a hand out for you to shake, to which he practically tore off yours when he shook it rather rigorously.

"The name is Heart! What's yours m'lady?"

You mumbled your name back and he let out a very loud laugh.

"Why, Mrs. Holland! Quite the pleasure to be meeting you!" 

You nodded your head and held back a gasp when he pulled you by the hand into the office.

"So, tell me what has troubled you enough to venture here so late in the night?"

You opened your mouth to begin speaking, but clamped it down when you couldn't find the right words to say. Damn it, you were nervous. You couldn't, however, pinpoint if it was from the very very close proximity of the Angel, or the lack of knowledge of how to explain your memories being jumbled up.

You could begin by telling the angel to take a few hundred steps back.

"Sorry, but um, could you step back a bit?" You asked with a shaky breath. The Angel smiled with pearly white teeth, but didn't seem to move an inch.

"I can't hear you clearly if I am too far back. It is best if I stay here." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. (or Heaven)

You nodded, even though you doubt that was the truth. You mentally noted to never come back here again once you're down getting some answers.

"So, I have a question." You began.

"Everyone that comes here has questions. But I can't exactly be sure that your question is legal to answer or not."

Your eyes widened in curiosity. Some questions could be illegal to ask? Flashbacks from today's event clouded your thoughts, but you immediately shook them away. A traitor is how you would be viewed if you discussed with anyone about today. And you would be quite foolish to bring it up with an official member of the Council.

"So, you were saying, Mrs. Holland?"

"Why am I not able to remember some things about my life on Earth?" You may as well pull off the bandage and stop dancing around the bush in fear of being judged. Your worries worsened when the Angel's eyes seemed to darken a little.

"Whatever do you mean, darling? What memories?"

"That is the whole point! I know that I can't remember some things! I just don't know what." frustration was very clear in your voice at this point.

Mr. Heart laughed wholeheartedly as if your 'situation' was the funniest thing anyone has ever told him.

"Well my dear, no need to get all fierce with me! I only want to assist you. And it seems that you are treading on very dangerous waters. I would watch out if I were you."

You swear your eyes became fire. How dare he act as if your troubles were something scandalous! Vark began to lick your leg as an attempt to calm you down, which worked for a moment until the 'ever lovable' Mr. Heart reached a hand out and began to rub your shoulders as if he had any right to touch you.

Vark, being the wonderful pet he is, noticed this and bit his leg. The angel howled in pain and kicked your beloved baby and he began to wail in pain. At this point, all you saw was red as you lunged onto the man and began to beat him up with what some people would call a 'mother's fiery.'

Some raised voices from outside of the office eventually joined the chaos of the room, and you were dragged off the very-much battered up Mr. Heart. Well, Mr. Heartless to you.

"Mrs. Holland! How dare you strike a Seraphim! That is considered treachery to the Hierarchy of the Council!" the same Cherub from earlier screeched at you in a high-pitched tone.

"Well I'll be damned! He touched me without consent and kicked my pet! I was defending myself-"

"You lie! One sin after another! How could you!?" you felt yourself being picked up from two service angels, and being dragged to another room, your shark following you right behind.

"Where are you taking me?" You shouted, attempting to pull off the two angels that were holding you roughly.

"We're not taking you anywhere. You are going to be sent somewhere." the Cherub said with a malicious tone of voice. You bit back a sob when the words processed in your head.

They were going to send you to Hell

You eventually approached a door that read 'Employees Only' and met a room that had an arch that took up the entire floor.

The portal to Hell. The place they were going to toss you into for something utterly stupid. How hypocritical of them. Heaven, the place of love and peace? My ass!

The Cherub flew over to a panel on the side of the wall, and loud sirens were heard throughout the room. Hell, you bet the entire 'cloud kingdom' could hear the loud blaring the room was making.

A red coloured portal began to appear on the ground within the structure of the arch. You gulped and felt tears begin to dwell in your eyes.

This was it.

Good-bye Heaven. Good-bye Kai and Molly.

You could hear Vark wailing from the loud noises and you attempted at twisting around to look at him. Your last attempt at begging for your shark's mercy was cut off when you were tossed into the portal.

You fell for a moment.

Then everything went dark.

+++

What awoke you from your 'dreamless sleep' was the feeling of something wet being dragged across your face. You moaned in pain when everything came crashing down on you. Literally.

Your back hurts, your head hurts, hell, even your face hurts.

You opened your eyes and noticed your beloved land-shark was on top of you, licking your face. You didn't feel anything but pure joy at that moment when you realised your shark wasn't going to be left all alone up in Heaven.

"My baby! I thought I wouldn't see you again!" you cried aloud and clutched the shark tightly against your chest. Vark seemed to love the attention and began to get all giddy from your loving embrace.

You pulled away from him after a few minutes, and began to observe the scenery around you. You appeared to be in some sort of alleyway, noting that there was garbage and other things that you didn't care to find out what it was exactly. You stood up slowly, and nearly fell back to the ground when you felt your knees shake.

Damn, you fell hard.

(Not as hard as you fell for Vincent though)

Vark noticed that you were in pain, and began to lick you again as a way of comforting you. You smiled softly and patted his smooth head in reassurance that you would be alright. Vark got the memo, and jumped from your arms. You attempted to stand again, and lent against the wall for support.

"Vark, I need you to do me a small favour." You said with a small voice. Vark wagged his fin and his tongue poked out of his mouth in anticipation for what your next words would be.

"Can you go up ahead and see if there is anyone that can help me? I don't think I'm going to be able to get around."

Vark tilted his head to the side in slight confusion to your words, to which you sighed heavily.

"I'm hurt Vark. I need help." You said a bit more simply. Vark recognised the phrase from when you trained him years ago, and immediately ran around the corner of the alleyway in search of some suitable help.

Who are you kidding? This is Hell. Why would anyone want to help? You sighed and placed your fingers on the bridge of your nose to attempt to relieve some stress that was building up.

What a rotten day.

+++

Minutes turned into hours, and you began to grow weary that something had happened to Vark. That is until you heard the familiar pat pat of Vark's fins.

You looked up from the corner you were hiding in, and noticed a very tall demoness was approaching you with Vark and-was that Molly?

"Oh my gosh! Are you alright?!" The demoness exclaimed with pure worry in her tone. You smiled weakly and shook your head.

"No, I-I'm sorry if I'm a bit of an inconvenience. You see, I was kinda kicked out of Heaven? And I'm injured from falling. . ." You babbled on. Maybe you hit your head harder than you thought.

The demoness held a sympathetic gaze in her eyes, and she looked over to her companion who was observing you as if you were an anomaly.

"Wait, you're from Heaven?"

You nodded your head, and the fellow seemed to get all smiley. Why? Who knows.

"That's crazy toots! Ya know, my sister is up there, I wonder if you eveh got to meet 'er."

You shrugged nonchalantly.

"I didn't meet much folk up there. I'm not much for socialising."

The spider-like dude nodded his head in understanding.

"'Tis fine, we are all different. Anyway, the name is Angel Dust, and this is her majesty Charlie." He pointed to himself then waved one of his other arms to the blonde demoness, who you now know as Charlie.

She was beaming with complete and utter joy. Why do they both smile so much when they are in the fiery pits of inferno?

"You need to come back with us and tell us EVERYTHING! You could be so helpful for my hotel!" Charlie began, but then immediately stopped once she noticed you were very much lost.

"I'm so sorry for being so direct with you! I'm Charlie, as Angel said. I should've asked if you wanted our help first. I mean, of course you want my help! I mean, do you?" She awkwardly trailed off when she noticed that you were staring at her as if she had grown another head.

Hotel? What does she mean by that?

"What she is trying to ask is if you needed a place to stay?" Angel asked, brushing his hands through his hair (was it hair?) and smoothing it over. His hair (it was definitely not hair but you didn't know what else to call it.) reminded you of Molly, and your heart ached at the thought of Kai and Molly going to your apartment and not finding you there.

You felt tears welled up in your eyes, but you tried hard to not look like you were about to burst into a puddle of sadness and utter hopelessness.

Charlie noticed this, however, and she crouched down to your height and engulfed you with the warmest hug you've ever received in a long time. You felt the dam break, and immediately you began to sob. At this point, you don't even know what you are crying over.

Maybe it's for everything that has happened over the past-decade?

Decades?

You were not entirely sure at this point honestly.

You both eventually entangled each other from the hug, and she offered you a hand to help you up. You took it gratefully, and stood up slowly to prevent yourself from falling back over. Charlie smiled at you softly, to which you grinned back.

"Alright now, are we headin’' back to the Hotel?" Angel asked with a hint of impatience in his voice. Charlie nodded her head, but looked back at you to make sure that is what you wanted. You properly smiled that time, and they both took the answer as 'yes'.

+++

The hotel was nothing like how you imagined. You learned on the trip there that the hotel was a place where sinners dwelled to try and redeem themselves to earn salvation.

That was the most wholesome thing you thought you would ever hear in Hell. There's hope for you yet.

You were currently in the lounge of the hotel, where a lot of 'group activities' took place on a daily basis. You and Vark were on top of a very comfortable couch that was tucked away in a corner. You were honestly so comfy, that you felt yourself dozing off. Until you heard a voice that made you want to rip your ears off.

"Why, hello! I didn't know our beloved Charlie had once again found another unfortunate soul to try out her silly project!"

The man's voice sounded muffled, almost as if he was speaking through some sort of antique microphone from ages ago. You made eye-contact with the looming figure, and noticed he reassembled a deer in a strange and unique way.

Who the Hell was this man? And why is he so-red?

As if he could read your mind, he shoved his hand in your face to shake and practically announced to the hotel who he was.

"The name is Alastor! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!" You smile you returned was weak but you still shook his hand, and sighed when you realised he wasn't about to break your hand like the other guy. Mr. Heart or whatever his name was.

That stupid prick. You were mad at him again.

"No need to frown, dear! Smile some more! You're never fully dressed without one!"

This Alastor was starting to get on your nerves. And he seemed to be a staff member of the place, which only meant you would be seeing him a lot. That is if you stayed. Also, his own smile was slightly unnerving. . .not to mention kind of creepy.

"Alastor! Leave the poor girl alone." you heard Charlie call from another part of the lounge. Alastor rolled his eyes before he turned hot on his heels to argue back that he was simply 'introducing' himself.

Whatever, you didn't really care.

You stood up from the couch, Vark following closely, and began to sneak away from the chaos of the Hotel. You eventually found yourself on the sidewalks of the busy street of some part of town.

One thing you noted was how many bright neon lights decorated the sides of buildings and billboards. Vark seemed to be lost in the flashing colours and noises of the advertisements playing on TV's.

There were so many TV's. Which triggered a long lost memory that you never remembered from your time in Heaven.

It was a year or so after you and Vincent got married. He had just landed a job as a news reporter for a small company that was local to your hometown. You were aware that he loved all the new technology that was being released too quickly to follow up on. But you never expected him to one day bring back an extremely expensive TV for your living room.

"Vincent! What on Earth did you get this time?"

He rolled his eyes and rolled a portable box TV into the kitchen for you to examine.

"I got us a TV. It's especially for you so you can watch me when I'm on the afternoon news." He said with a cheeky smile. You chuckled at his antics and headed over to him to give him a hug.

"You're such an attention seeker, and you're also adorable."

He only laughed at that, and hugged you back just as tightly as you.

"Only for you doll, only for you."

The memory faded, and it left you standing idiotically in the middle of the sidewalk. That was new, and not to mention, so heartwarming.

You missed Vincent. A lot. And you were aware you kept thinking about him. Must be because your memories are no longer blocked.

Vark began to bark at an advertisement when you noticed a man with a TV for a head appeared on one of the TV's close to you. He was talking about some sort of security system, but you didn't care. What you did care about was how familiar his grin was to you.

That wasn't a coincidence, was it?

Vark distracted you from your thoughts when he began to run away when the scent of seafood wafted through the air. You out called after him and began to spring after the shark.

How does an animal run so fast with fins?

You once again got lost in your thoughts and didn't notice that you and your runaway shark were headed towards a huge crowd that was forming in front of a building nearby. Vark, being so small, ran in between the demons of all sizes and continued on his way. You were about to do the same until you ran into someone and knocked yourself and the stranger down.

"Woah! Careful where you're running off to!"

"I am so sorry!" You squealed when you realised that you had unintentionally caused a scene. You had landed completely on top of a random person; in front of a huge crowd; and it was the same man with the TV head.

Ah, what luck you had. Your thoughts were cut off when the TV headed man began to look you up and down, which made you very...uncomfortable? But his gaze felt familiar, as if instinct was telling you you knew this strange man.

"I feel like I've seen you before, do I know you?" He began, but you cut him off when you scrambled to your feet when you noticed Vark returned to you with some fish in his mouth. Or what you assumed was fish.

"Vark! You are in so much trouble!" You announced, bending over to pick up the mischievous land-shark that has caused oh-so-many problems with you today.

You heard people around you murmur, to which you raised your brow to, but decided to ignore. You turned back around to again apologise to the man you so rudely knocked over, but found him staring at you as if you had hung the stars in the sky.

What was his deal?

You heard him mumble your name, which definitely made you jump a bit.

"What was that?"

He rushed over to you instantly and immediately grabbed your arm and pulled you into the building the crowd was forming around, completely ignoring all the commotion that began to arise outside.

You both eventually reached a secluded corridor, and you found yourself standing in close proximity with the man.

Who even is he? And what the fuck gave him the right to drag you around like a doll?

He called your name again, and you felt his hands gently cup your cheeks. You met his artificial gaze, and you all but gasped when it all finally clicked.

Vincent Holland. Your long lost and beloved husband.

"V-Vincent?" You stammered, completely bewildered that you had somehow found him in a city with millions of people. Maybe luck was truly on your side finally.

"H-how?" You started, but got cut off when a pair of digital lips met yours in a sweet kiss. Your eyes widened in shock: you were kissing a TV. But this was also your husband. (Who had a screen for a head somehow…)

You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, humming softly when he began to bite and suck at your lips. You pulled away, however, when Vark began to cry from the lack of your attention.

"Vark! Stop it!" you scolded him. Vincent chuckled at the interaction to which you raised a brow.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing. I also have a land-shark named Vark." he stated as if it were the most obvious thing. Your eyes widened in disbelief.

"Are you being serious?"

"Yes, doll. I got him as soon as I found out you could have one. And I named him Vark because, well, we always joked about it."

You smiled so sweetly at this. You and Vincent coincidently having a pet shark and naming them the same was just too heartwarming to you. You pulled him back into another kiss, to which Vincent welcomed whole-heartedly.

You pulled away after a minute when your lungs burned for air, and noticed Vincent was staring at you adoringly.

"What is it?" You asked.

"I thought I would never see you again. You don't know how much I've missed you. I looked for you everywhere as soon as I was able to to it safely. Even though it didn't happen as fast as I wanted, I knew I would always find you." he whispered. He kissed your head gently, which you leaned into slightly.

You felt your heart ache a little, when you realised that he probably didn't get to live in an oblivious bliss to your absence. A perk of living in Heaven, you supposed, was the lack of memory of anything that could make you wish the fiery pits of Inferno.

"Me too Vincent, me too. I'm so glad that I found you again." you placed your forehead against his (screen), and shared a loving embrace.

You and your beloved Vincent, was once again, united. 

i finally looked over it, and part one of the prologue is up. if there is any mistakes i didnt catch, feel free to let me know!

also, i love vark. he carries this story ngl.

But I still will because this story felt very. . .rushed. even though it's so DAMN LONG HOLY SHIT.

-will

[godisasimp]

Let's talk about Honkai Impact 3rd for a bit, yeah ?

I need to let go of it, scream into the void, because I can't stay polite about it, I started being rude in community servers about it.

Greetings,

I am a +960 days long player of the game Honkai Impact 3rd, I started during the Theater of Domination story arc and more precisely, during the Phantom of the Theater patch and the release of the valkyrie Stygian NYX.

But more importantly, I am a very so very tired player that also happens to be frustrated and angry at the treatment, or mistreatement, of a game I once held so dear to my heart.

I discovered Honkai Impact 3rd half a year after Genshin Impact's launch through an ad playing the Befall cutscene and immediately fell in love with the character I would later discover is called "Herrscher of the Void".

I don't remember most of my early days, but one of the things I do remember is getting my first S-rank valkyrie... The one who made me discover that game : Herrscher of the Void.

And ever since then I've been playing daily rarely missing a day, let alone more than that. I was eager to progress and eager to get new valkyries.

But unfortunately things changed.

The hill that keeps going down.

It all started with the release of Elysian Realm chapter story arc, a side story about Mei's time in World Serpent, at least it seemed so. It was a cute, Visual Novel styled story about a group of heroes from the previous era, an era mentioned in Mangas and the story that was shrouded in mysteries ; a cool side story to finally show us how the previous era was, to accompany the new game mode.

The gamemode was, and still is, very fun to play, with a lot of unique builds and play styles, it was a refreshing experience to not get burned out of Abyss and Memorial Arena, it kept improving overtime adding more and more characters ; the only major negative thing I could say about it was when mihoyo "fixed" the Mobius Signets who, very early on, allowed players an infinitely increasing buffs and made reaching the integer limit (aka going in the negatives) doable and easy, and also allowed anyone to clear the floors regardless of gear and level.

The story bits we're cute and gave life to the otherwise empty lobby, as you could randomly trigger conversation between characters and it really felt like you were walking in on a conversation that had started while you weren't here.

The Mobius plotline was wonderfully done, it wasn't a secret that she was evil, she was upfront about it and while she mash have tried to look cute in front of Mei at first, she never kept the act for long merely using it as a way of annoying her. The subplot of all of that was Elysia, the character that spoke and helped the most often, she was hiding her past and acting as the underlying mystery one may not notice at first.

A mystery who's resolutions unfortunately started Honkai Impact 3rd's worst, and still ongoing, era.

I've already said my fair share of thoughts about Elysium Everlasting, but for the sake of the post, I shall once again repeat my thoughts.

Following in Kolosten footsteps (and maybe through the influence of Genshin Impact), not good ones, Elysium Everlasting was "open world", as "open world" as Honkai Impact 3rd could get, this was not a welcomed choice by most of the fanbase, as a mobile game Honkai Impact 3rd has always told it's story through a Visual Novel style of story telling with minimal amount of walking around for the players, the stages being mainly used to fight enemies and bosses in ; the only other "open worlds" were in the same named category, all fully optional and merely just mihoyo testing the concept. Elysium Everlasting was the 2nd main story "open world" and my experience with is was beyond terrible, at the time I was using a pre-made low end computer that could barely handle Elysium Everlasting's scene, I experienced lags, textures not loading at all, freezes and crashes all throughout my playthrough of the chapter, something that worsen with Moon Arc, this experience made me frustrated already but the writing didn't make it worth it.

Elysium Everlasting's story was the worst one mihoyo ever wrote, it was a complete 180° from Elysian Realm, the new characters introduced did not get the luxury of the bits and pieces of randomly triggered conversations to expend their characters and unfortunately felt flatter than the first half. And they also suffered from the poor writing of the part, but at least they had no previously established character that got ruined and destroyed, same couldn't be said about the previously introduced characters, and the one who suffered most from it : was Elysia.

- Elysia : From beloved to beloathed

I've talked a lot about this character but I shall detail my history and experience with her one last time.

I have in my head created two distinct versions of Elysia : Elysian Realm and Elysium Everlasting. Simply because her character is so different between the two halves it is almost like we have two Elysias.

I will talk about ER!Elysia first because she is the one I like ; in the first half of the arc Elysia was presented as a very friendly character, borderline too friendly, and suffocating and pushing boundaries to the extreme for her own sake, a character that claimed to just be a normal girl... And she was just that, a girl that was happy, sad and angry, a girl that had insecurities about her group and the distance between her and the others, a character that lied to get her way and stole just for her amusement, she was normal, she had flaws and character, characters around her felt all sorts of ways towards her. That was who is she was, a normal girl with a past she wouldn't talk about.

And I very much liked that character, coupled with a design I really liked and she quickly became a favorite of mine in the chapter.

But then she went through what could only describe as a character assassination when Elysium Everlasting began.

Elysia who was a character who was allowed to have flaws was stripped of them, who was allowed to feel things beyond happiness was stripped of that, she was stripped of everything until all that was left is a flawless, perfect and unhatable "character". She became a character not allowed to feel even an ounce of sadness, even while walking to her own execution and death, a character no one was allowed to dislike her, all characters that previously called her a "traitor" and showed dislike towards suddenly flipped on their head praising her. Including Mei who was weary and not so attached to her.

The Flamechasers became what can only be discribed as an Elysia worshipping cult, who's only purpose was to sing praises to Elysia and nothing else.

With my small talk about Elysia done, let's go back to the overall story.

The story now lacking a threat had to create one from thin air, one that wasn't hinted at previously and so the Herrscher of Corruption fell into the story. And not even it was free from joining the Elysia worshipping cult the entire arc was.

After deleting Elysia, the Herrscher of Corruption also became infatuated with Elysia and decided to become her and leave the Elysian Realm to spread the gospel, if I had to guess.

I will say that the Herrscher of Corruption was a fitting enemy, an entity who's power revolves around data, set free in a realm entirely made of data is sure to create a dangerous foe.

Yet, despite being deleted from the Elysian Realm, Elysia came back and was used as a Deus-ex-machima type of character to finally defeat the final enemy, the finale wasn't a group effort it was just Elysia.

And just like that, Elysia deleted the Elysian Realm after being brought back through the sacrifice of others, she sacrificed herself and unfortunately this changed Mei's character, from hating self sacrifices and joining the enemy's organization solely to stop Kiana from sacrificing herself, to a character who is fine with self sacrifices all of the sudden.

And that characterization of Mei is one of the reasons Moon Arc was so terrible.

As I mentioned earlier, Moon Arc was yet another "open world" but even worse as it was scaled up, the lags worsen, I could barely play the chapter as I kept freezing, and so the frustration of Elysium Everlasting not only kept going but increased and made my experience of what is the final chapter of the original trio's story absolutely horrendous. And just like Elysium Everlasting, the story did not make me struggling to even launch the chapter worth it and I was about to give up on multiple occasions.

Moon Arc was a mess of retcons awful decisions.

The reveal that the Will of Honkai was the AI Prometheus made no sense at all and was not hinted at throughout the story, the Will of Honkai was always a naturally shapeless and emotionless figure that never spoke and only answered through actions, it did not seek anything, even when taking the shape of whoever is communicating to it, it had no face, it was just Thing. Not human, not herrscher just a physical manifestation of the Honkai's will, as its name say. But then the reveal of it being Prometheus made no sense considering the previous actions the Will of Honkai, and suddenly makes everything illogical and weird, and makes us ask why Prometheus did what she did, such as protecting Sirin and answering Otto's questions.

Then came Misteln, the "Hare" of World Serpent, who supposedly existed after Cecilia died and during Bronya's mother pregnancy, which is an inconsistency that has yet to be cleared, as those two time do not lineup at all, another confusing part of her is her powers, which are stigmata related but she seems to be able to do whatever the writers need her to do.

Staying on World Serpent, Kevin and his plan made no sense and their overall actions, or lack thereof was weird, they were supposedly trying to stop the trio and yet they helped them, talked to them for hours, and Hare even helped Bronya reached the full potential of her Herrscher core ; the overall pacing of the story was slow and there was no sign of the supposed emergency the trio was against, it was like a walk in the parc, slow walking and taking the time to have exposure.

But the worst part of all of it, was the introduction of Ai Lambda Hyperion, she was introduced in an event, in that event the player, aka us, were a part of it, it was a cute event about repairing the game and saving Ai Lambda. It was all there was to it. Until she came into the main story and so did the player, so did we. And that ruined everything, now the entire Honkaiverse is supposedly real in our world ; it especially ruined the final fight against Kevin, instead of the trio pulling through and beating Kevin, we do which makes their victory underwhelming and not as earned as if they won on their own.

Part 1's story started of as a really good, with character interactions and good character development but slowly the interactions and development worsen and disappeared leaving only an empty husk of its former self. Part 1 had a lot of potential for an emotional ending, but all we got was a nothingburger ending where Kiana is just physically stuck on the Moon but everyone can still visit her, instead of a feeling of isolation as a consequence of her saving the world, there was nothing to worry about, everything was going to be happy go lucky as usual.

- Part 1.5 : a breath of fresh air that wouldn't last

This part, or half part, started off slow and uninteresting for me, but it was still refreshing to focus on a character often put on the sideline : Seele, it also brought back a character shown in the manga and a visual novel, Shigure Kira, which was unexpected but welcome, they were focusing on existing characters instead of creating new ones.

But the start and my interest in this part was slow, but then the character Vita was introduced, a mischievous and humorous character that is still mysterious, a very interesting character with a lot of personality.

The 2nd half of Salt Snow Holy City, was way better, we had an actual threat in the form of Sa and Vita, while also having a lot of interactions between characters that otherwise wouldn't interact a lot, especially Veliona and Sentience, those two were very fun to watch and listen.

And so was the arc with Moriarty and all the Vita's, my only problem with this entire half part was the reveal of Griseo, while it does make sense somewhat, and Su I was hoping they would let go of the Flamechasers all together and never bring them up, their arc was over and they were only characters in a separate side story, but they slowly became main characters.

The twist of Vita doing all she did to betray and eventually kill Sa just to gain the freedom she craved and could never get as a proxy was wonderfully done and a well deserved ending for such a character, and it felt deserved and earned, she used everyone to advance her plans forward, and only relied on the other characters help at the end, when the final blow needed to be dealt, Kiana had to do it for Vita, but other than that Vita is the one who made her plan, worked towards it for years and manipulated Sa ; it was her win, she deserved it.

All and all, this entire half part felt so refreshing and made me hopeful for the future of the story... But unfortunately this miracle was just that, a short lived miracle the last bit of good writing Honkai Impact 3rd had.

Part 2 has a rough start, introducing a lot of characters in quite a shot amount of time and so the early bit felt quite rushed, but it slowed down once all the characters were introduced and set in the story it was quite good, and the threat of Perception was well set and the conclusion felt right... Or what I thought was the conclusion.

The twist of everything being a simulation from Dreamseeker's perspective just ruined everything, all the efforts went to waste and the ending suddenly felt worthless, it was just one of countless simulations so it meant nothing, all the emotial weight this had was gone.

I do like the mystery of Senadina, to at least have a bigger mystery connecting everything somewhat, and Vita's return to the story is one I am very happy about, it almost made me believe in MiHoYo again but as always, these moments of brightness in the other wise dark place the story is at are nothing more than dimly lit candles just about to go out.

- Honkai Star Rail : the false collaboration

It all started with a miscellaneous announcement of a Honkai Impact 3rd collab with Honkai Star Rail, Hi3rd collabing with other MiHoYo games happened before and it was very good, so we would get a collab character and outfit and lovely and funny noncanon event to go with it, everything should have been nice, I was on the fence due to the very bad Promare collab but I was hopeful, it was a collaboration between coworkers, they couldn't mess this up. Except they did, the moment it was revealed that Sparkle and other Honkai Star Rail related things were not noncanon events but fully main story canon.

Sparkle's introduction just created a whole mess in the timeline, her arrival in the mars computer happens before Welt's and Void Archive's departure, years before A Post Honkai Odyssey happens, it introduces the Solar System as a, weirdly, unreachable (supposedly protected by the Cocoon of Finality) place for Aeons and yet Sparkle and a random Messenger found it, that Messenger also sparks a new power scaling debate as she qualified Kiana as a "emanator" like entity, the interaction was not hinted at all throughout Penacony or anything Sparkle related prior to the collab happening, so it all just feels like a last minute decision to connect the two games, that were already connected through Welt and Void Archive.

From my point of view, there is no collaboration between the two games, this entire "event" and announcements were just to announce that the games were officially and connected as happening in the same Universe ; unlike collab valkyries Sparkle is fully gacha, an S-rank with no free way of being obtained, all collab characters are SP and farmable so this is already a suspicious play on Mihoyo's, and due to this Sparkle will have banner reruns after her banner ends, unlike collab that are only available in their patch, her stigmatas will be craftable despite being themed around her... All these points lead to the only possible conclusion : Sparkle was never a collaboration valkyrie, she is just a normal and permanent part 2 valkyrie. So the whole "collab" thing can only be assumed to be a bait of some kind, a bait for a valkyrie that is mediocre at best. A bait to lure in more spenders. A bait for money.

And so we reached the current end for the story, a beautiful story that unfortunately went downhill and the few good moments only ever lead to further disappointment, for we saw what they were capable of writing and producing and yet we were just let down, we were letdown more and more for one simple reason : the fandom kept praising the story, I barely saw complaints anywhere outside of my circle of friends, despite it getting worse and so mihoyo got away with writing worse and worse and worse until now, where we are at a point where salvation and redemption are no longer an option.

The fandom will crucify people who dare criticize the story because in their eyes mihoyo employees are some kind of Godly writers, hating a part will get you harassed, saying you dislike a character, especially Elysia and anything surrounding her, will get you seen as a bad person, this fandom has built so many layers of toxic positivity that it actively damaged the product. Mihoyo are not the sole responsible for the mess that Honkai Impact 3rd is, we are also sharing that responsability, for never calling mihoyo out their bad story choices, because the fandom kept "crying at the heartfelt stories" and because someone saying they disliked a fandom favorite was something worth getting bullied for, we like to call out other mihoyo games' fanbases toxic but we are no different, we are just as toxic if not more.

You may have noticed how I started to leave out details more and more as we progressed, simple answer I just skipped the story, because it was burning me out, going through long yet boring and non consequential stories was making want to stop playing, and so while I previously held the story above the gameplay and PvE aspect of the game, in current time that order has switched, and i skip story after reading summaries from CN to prioritize gameplay.

I also did not talk about events at all, and again it's really simple : the events, especially Captainverse, are really charming and well written, which is a very odd contrast to the main story, i focus more on those than the main story and find myself enjoying them even more ; this was a post to mostly complain and since I had nothing to complain about the events' writing I simply never mentioned them.

At least this whole thing is just my view of the whole thing, my view of the fandom, my view and opinion. And I just wanted it out of my chest.

I may add a portion about the character design, but this problem has mostly dissappeared since Part 2 began, so I don't feel the need to talk about it in details anymore, mihoyo moved on from that and so shall I.

[cxhleel108]

LITG S8 Thots for this week: I love winning!

(Fusebox hasn’t proven me wrong often…damn near at all, but oh do I love when they do!)

• Ok but his body kinda tea I’ll give him that.

• Also do I spy a Libra tattoo??? LIBRA GANG STAND TF UP!!!♎️♎️♎️

• Luna really just want every man in here except her own like damn bitch just give Jin to me since you so open to change😭😭😭

• The spat being us disagreeing on one thing for maybe 30 seconds and then Oakley immediately apologizing to and worshipping me like ok girl, sure.

• Keep trying all y’all want I’m not turning on my man😑😑😑

• We not doing this again uh uh.

• But also…HOW DO WE GET OAKLEY IN THESE??? QUICKLY!

• The fact I was finna deny speaking to Hari and then he brings up that he has intel on my man ugh they know how weak I am help💔

• The intel in question being that he was gonna ask us to go exclusive. WOW! WHAT A SHOCKER!

• Theo what I have to say to you couldn’t take any more than 5 seconds. Stop wasting my time PLEASE!

• Oh yes I love when a man acts “playerfully”…

• It was so obvious that the letter was from our partner can we stop being fucking dumb?

• We didn’t emote enough after reading that letter. I needed my bitch to break out into tears while screaming or something!

• They are arguing over the letter omfggg the day that this villa knows peace, pigs will be flying.

• I busted out laughing at this cuz some of y’all were theorizing that Bea was his sister. Do you know how funny that would’ve been if she was😭

• Oh for christ’s sake can Luna shut the fuck UP? I’m so tired of her getting pressed at Jin being flirty with other bitches as if she don’t do the same exact shit. Ho mad cuz he says Bea might be hot but was just begging Hari to give her pussy a taper fade haircut, girl byeeeee!

• Theo finally manned up and admitted he wants me. Woohoo! Can we move on?

• Outfit time!

• Ngl I thought this was gonna look a whole lot more stupid but thankfully it doesn’t. Now as to why they made accompanying shoes that we couldn’t even put on is beyond me.

• Jin stfu😭😭😭

• IGNORE WHAT HARI AND I ARE DOING BAE IS BACK AAAAHHHHHH😝😝😝

• Yes use the good punani powers to distract him sis exactly!

• I’m seriously so glad I didn’t have to wait 20 episodes to see my bookie bear again like y’all don’t understandddd.

• He just got back and he already being messy helpskdmsmasnd.

• I know they ain’t actually shocked that I dropped the rope during tug of war…I already told y’all I am a one dick woman!

• Figures that Bea is the one that’s actually with my man, yet Luna is the one that’s making me wanna smack the shit outta her.

• Outfit time again!

• Say what you want but they are definitely killing the outfit game this season. Another bad bitch fit!

• The fact we can just tell Hari to shut the hell up so we can listen to the other date awww he really shoulda chose another girl to go after.

• Ok I fucks with you Bea! We love real bitches here💯💯💯

• And the fact Oakley recognizes that we would NEVER play those games oh when I tell you we fucking him real good tonight!

• God why am I so evil😭😭😭

• We actually get a private moment and they didn’t hoodwink us this time omg can we get fed like this more often?

• Oooooo wait clock his tea bae! Cuz that actually don’t make no fucking sense like how you out of practice for 2 years and suddenly you pulling out romantic ass stories just cuz you meet one bad bitch on Love Island?

• Oh lord someone duct tape Luna mouth shut before she start another yap fest.

• To clarify, when I say “you both” I’m referring to Oakley and his donk. Sorry Hari!

• Mind you the stuff that’s supposedly gonna change my mind about him is finna be some shit like “Instead of buying you a box of chocolates, he said he was gonna get you a giant teddy bear and a bouquet of roses and carnations.” Like can y’all cut this shit out it do not be gagging us anymore😕

• Because of course as soon as y’all bring me my baby daddy back you take him away again…

• Welp, loyal girlies I guess it’s time for us to suffer for another 2+ weeks!

[gumnut-logic]

Sweetapple Slice 9

Alexander Sweetapple series

This isn't much because I'm tired and it's nearly midnight after a very long day, so don't expect much.

Inspired by the slightly evil @womble1 How dare they dangle a concept in front of me like that. Things like this happen - though honestly, I don't think it is as good as it could have been if I had half a brain, but eh, it be fic.

Sometime in the future, I hope you enjoy.

-o-o-o-

Alex walked across the room and opened the huge window, letting in the tropical breeze.

The scents of Tracy Island were heady and he found himself breathing in deep. It helped calm his heart.

A bird squawked somewhere nearby and the ocean hissed beyond the dense pōhutukawa trees.

“Thank you, love.”

Alex turned back to Virgil, sitting up in bed, still pale, but so much better than he had been.

His partner must have seen something in Alex’s expression, because he gestured with one hand for Alex to return to him.

Alex didn’t hesitate, crawling across the bed to carefully slide in beside him, avoiding the healing injury in Virgil’s left thigh. He tried to ignore the yellowing bruises and healing abrasions scattered across Virgil’s bare chest, still hesitant to touch, afraid he might hurt him.

Virgil being Virgil, grabbed him with his right arm and drew him in close, kissing his hair. “You’re not going to hurt me. Stop worrying.”

Alex grunted, not willing to admit how much Virgil’s sudden injury and following illness had scared him.

One day they were planning a relaxing dinner in Sydney, of all places. Planning to watch the sun go down over the Harbour Bridge. Then half way through the afternoon, John had called, his voice parched.

Thunderbird One hit Māhia at speed and Alex had been airborne, halfway to London before he could knock two neurons together.

He’d never been to London before.

He still hadn’t really. He’d only been to that hospital, that room, with his seriously ill lover surrounded by family, not knowing if he would ever see those beautiful chocolate eyes ever again.

Scott was a man possessed.

Virgil had mentioned his big brother’s passion for his family. Through Alex’s own terror, he saw the man go from the calm professional to the desperate big brother.

Their father did his best to see to the eldest, but whatever he tried never seemed to be enough.

As for Alex…the days were filled with fear.

“I’m getting better, love. Please stop thinking about it.” Virgil drew Alex’s head down to his shoulder, stroking his hair gently.

Alex leant up and kissed his jawline.

He, too, was shirtless and Virgil’s warmth, both physical and spiritual, seeped in through Alex’s skin.

“What do you want to do today?” They had recently finished breakfast. Alex was ever so happy to see Virgil’s appetite return. He truly was getting better.

“I was thinking of doing a little knitting. Two’s stocks are getting low.” Virgil shifted a little where he sat.

Alex frowned. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Another shift. “Could you do me a favour?”

Alex sat up. “Of course.”

“There’s a bag, green, in that cupboard, second shelf.”

Sliding off the bed once again, Alex did as Virgil asked and found the bag. It was obviously a knitting bag. Metal needles clicked together as he picked it up and several balls of yarn peeked up through its drawstring top. Alex brought it back to the bed. “You never mentioned you knit.”

A half-smile. “It’s a thing.” Out came scarlet needles and a bright gold yarn. “Bit of a tradition.”

As he was speaking, Virgil started expertly casting on stitches.

Alex crawled back onto the bed, ever fascinated by what his love was capable of. “You are so much.”

Virgil stopped mid-motion, frowning just a little. “In what way?”

“Every time I think I know all your interests, you pop up with another one, and to top it all off, you’re proficient in all of them.”

A snort. “You can talk.”

“Yes, I’m an engineer, but that is all I am, Virgil. You? You are an engineer, a bloody brilliant one, mind you. A musician, an artist, a rescue operative and medic. You are so talented and skilled in so many professions…how are you possible?”

An arched eyebrow was pointed in his direction. “You are most certainly much more than just an engineer, Alex.” He reached up and stroked Alex’s arm. “So much more.”

Alex gave him the side eye, ever sceptical. “So what are you making?”

Virgil stared at him a moment before giving in and looking down at the mess of gold yarn in his lap. “Fish for a fish.”

“You’re making goldfish for Gordon? Why?”

“Because this time I was the one who was injured.”

“What?”

Virgil sighed. “We have a thing.”

Alex waited.

And waited. “A thing?”

“Gordon was seriously injured once. He needed some…motivation. So I taught him to knit.”

Blink.

Virgil obviously took that as a question. “He told me it was my turn to make fish.”

This was obviously another one of those Tracy-things Alex was never quite going to understand. The five brothers were a very closely knit bunch, pun intended, and sometimes they did things that defied explanation.

And this was likely one of them.

Alex sighed and curled up beside Virgil, prepared to sit beside him no matter what the man wanted to do. The last week had been hell and he thought that he had lost the one he loved. If that man now wanted to knit random gold fish for his quirky brother, he could knit as much as he liked.

Alex was just happy to have him safe.

As Virgil began to hum, relaxing into what he was doing, Alex let himself smile.

It truly was a beautiful sound.

-o-o-o-

[lemon-whiskey]

‘The Tarnished Knight, Part One.’ — Ironwood’s Redemption Concept (Vol 9 spoilers)

Aka: A post in which I explore the theoretical of if James Ironwood was the extra person to fall with team RWBY, instead of Jaunie, into the ever after and how I think that would work. Biggggg post beyond the cut. My posts tag for this idea: [ #The Tarnished Knight RWBY au ]

(This is not a fanfic, just me babbling with a little hint of fanfic essence. Please feel free to reblog if you like it!)

How he gets there:

To kick things off, let’s toy with the idea that we change nothing up until Jaune is meant to fall. Winter manages to catch and pulls him to Vacuo, all that good sad stuff but now- why is James falling if he never entered the portals in the first place? Salem and Cinder, in their wonderfully evil manner, will be doing the dirty work here. “There will be nothing left of Atlas or it’s General, now.” Salem would croon, walking up to him and grabbing him by his neck, pulling his slowly dying form up into the air to meet her gaze. He’s barely strong enough to hold Due Process at his side, she wouldn’t be worried about it as she walks him over to the slowly dissolving portal. “Thank you for your help, James.” It would be a gracious taunt as she unceremoniously tosses him into the darkness, having him fall into the Ever After, let him have his moment of agony as he silently understands he’s been played a fool and he will die as one too.

How he doesn’t actually die, saved from the end of the volume and old age.

I will be using the ever after’s respawn to help us out here. James is certainly on the brink as he washes up on shore, it’s night time and there are stars while he slowly opens his eyes up, tired, tattered and broken. He thinks he’s already dead, the pain is confusing to him though, but the almost nothing of what ever this place is helps. A rabbit like creature sits on his chest for what’s left of his body warmth, it makes a ticking sound as it chews a clock fruit. Hazy eyes watch as it bites the side and the fruit rapidly turns back time, the rabbit and James watching silently as it does until the rabbit bites it again. Stopping the change, now landing on a violet and blue sunset over the ocean. James stares longingly, still in pain as he breathes out a death rattle, just loud enough to spook the creature. It takes its food and runs. The ground opens, and he’s taken to the blacksmith to be reborn in his and the tree’s image.

James never wanted to be what he ended up being, he sees the people he cared about and let down in his hopes and memories. He wanted to protect people, that’s why he was in the military, why he was a professor, why he agreed to be the last General’s protégé. He is reminded by the blacksmith that he let his fear and his enemies get to his mind, the stress and the unknown taunted and changed him. The loss of someone he thought was untouchable, lucky, safe. (I’m going with that James also had a virus here and was close with Clover which is why he really went off the deep end, bear with me.)

The blacksmith holds out his gun, he takes it and accepts to change himself, not entirely but enough to try again. She tells him to have faith in what he becomes, and that maybe some day he will have his chance to make things right once more.

If this is purgatory, he thinks to himself, I am grateful for its mercy.

Part 2: [HERE]

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 5/4

What am I feeling today?

I feel rather relaxed today but also guilty. There was a church event I wanted to attend early this morning but my brother and I had gone late to bed and this morning we were both really tired and he didn’t want to make the drive. I wish I was there, spending time with the kingdom but I’ll give myself grace. Either way, I’m looking forward to the rest of my day bc I’ll be heading to the rink twice and teaching ice skating which is always fun! I’m also grateful for how free my time has become now that I’ve finished my semester!

One last thing: I’m sorry I haven’t been posting much. It’s been selfish of me to keep my quiet times to myself when what I’ve been learning can be beneficial to other believers beyond me. I’ll try to be better about posting daily again!

Romans 7 NIV

(v. 4) “So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God.”

As disciples of Christ, we belong to Him now and everything that He commands of us rather than the laws of the world (that’s not to say to be rebellious on earth, rather to keep the Lord’s word as the priority).

(v. 14-17) “We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.”

In all honesty, I’m having a very hard understanding all this. I believe what Paul is trying to express is how people were before Christ. How they regarded the law and then the sin they felt bound to since they did not have their freedom in Jesus (as is stated earlier in Romans about being a new creation and no longer bound).

(v. 18-20) “For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

Again, I had a hard time understanding this so I went to commentary:

This knowledge of what it means to be out of Christ and under the law of Moses is imparted to us, not from the standpoint of the intellectual pagan, but from the viewpoint of the great Christian apostle who saw much more clearly than any unregenerated man could have seen it, just what an awful state of wretchedness and misery must ever pertain to the man who is unredeemed, who is not "in Christ." Apart from Jesus Christ, there is no way by which even the best intentioned of unregenerates could exist in any other state than the one depicted here. That wretchedness, truly considered, is the perfect description of every man who is out of Christ, whether or not he might be less or more aware of it; and it is also a description of the true state of every Christian who for any reason whatever failed to abide "in Christ." The interpretation which would make this marvelous description of every non-Christian to be a description of the true life in our blessed Lord partakes of the genius of the evil one himself, and it should be rejected out of hand. Think what a terrible description of humanity apart from the Saviour this passage presents. It is a picture of humanity unable to do what is approved and desired to be done, and at the same time a humanity condemned to the "practice" (yes, that is the word) of things which are acknowledged to be undesirable and reprehensible even by the victims themselves. If this is not a good description of our own sinful generation which has turned away from God to walk in their own foolish ways, where is there a better one?

(v. 21-25) “So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.”

I think what this is trying to say is that before being in Christ, a lot of us wanted to do the right thing but we were bound by our sinful nature because we still took it upon ourselves instead of submitting fully to Christ. Once we have given our life to Jesus, he delivers us from our binding to sin and we are dead to it (we are forgiven fully of our sins but that’s not to say that we don’t struggle, instead we must daily rely on God for the strength to overcome and resist the temptations of the devil).

[asocial-inkblot]

Just wanted to share about what one of my brothers was saying the day before.

Gonna have to paraphrase here:

So I found out recently that my brother is an "Azula wasn't sympathetic" fan; and that was his exact argument, whereas I, of course, argued the opposite. The problem was that I'm so used to and sick of hearing that same old tired argument(s) that I at times struggled to explain my viewpoint in a respectable way and ended up insulting him (first?). He insulted me too but that doesn't matter, I guess (also that's beside the point).

I realized after that we both made good points and told him as much, but I don't think I was able to convey to him what I was trying to get at. I now think the reason why he just couldn't understand where I was coming from originally (and still technically am) is that we truly were basing our arguments on two different worldviews and I believe it may be the same with other anti-Azulas (for lack of a better phrase).

His argument hinged on the idea that how you act is all you deserve to be seen as. That what someone does or how they present themself to the world, dictates how much sympathy he/she/they deserve.

Mine however, came from a place of understanding and the belief that who you can be and who you were kept from being, matter more than who you currently are, as it pertains to the deserving of sympathy.

He also argued that the general consensus of the fandom is proof enough, but we Azula fans know that the general population doesn't just get to decide how everyone views someone or something. Outliers matter too, especially large outliers like the Azula fandom (that appears to grow more and more everyday ✨⭐️).

Although I eventually agreed, for example, with his assertion that Ozai preferred Azula over Zuko because she was more "ruthless" (or less compassionate when they were young children, as I saw it). I still believe that my original point that he actually preferred her because she was the superior bender, was true as well. I argued that he used her for that reason. My brother however, I guess didn't pay attention to the word "used". Being used by a parent is damaging to a child's psyche and teaches them from a young age that they exist to satisfy others, and be tools for others' glory.

Perhaps more importantly—beyond the fact that I pointed out she was only 14, was indoctrinated almost from birth and that Ursa was NOT afraid of her but actually scolded her (due to thinking Azula was inappropriate and perhaps un-ladylike, not "evil")—I also had in mind that Ozai's favoring her was a point against her childhood, not for it. There are still people in the world that think Ozai's preference for Azula was something to envy when that couldn't be further from the truth. The fact that Ursa favored Zuko and Ozai favored Azula is one of the, if not the biggest examples of and reasons for why Azula deserved sympathy.

Children need love, appreciation, encouragement and safety. Not favoritism, egocentric-interest, manipulation and fear.

(There were other things said while my other brother watched that I angrily disagreed with and that I myself may have been wrong to say/came across as overemotional because of, but I'll stop here. At least, for now.)

Edit: Small rephrasing.

[not-terezi-pyrope]

I feel like I'm less engaged with broad scale social struggles these days, and it's because, well, I am. Don't get me wrong I still pay attention, have opinions, do what I can if small choices are available in the course of life. But there was a time where wanting to combat the world's evils was a major factor in my life planning, and now it's no longer that.

The fact is that it's just too much to grapple with, and I've realised at this point that I'm a small fry compared to the fires raging outside my bubble. I don't think that any impact I personally could have feels worth the damage it'd do to my mental health and psyche to throw myself into activism. Yes, I know that the efforts of many small fries make a movement, but I have to think from my perspective as one person who does value herself, weighing that heavily in comparison to the fraction I am of any group whole. My priorities these days are in securing a good life for myself and those I care about, as best as I can, within the domains I can more directly influence. Try to find happiness, income and a home for me and my boyfriend, sustain fulfilling connections and seek sources of joy.

Does this make me a worse person? A callous onlooker not doing enough to push back? Some people would say so. It certainly is a position that indicates privilege. But as I say, my actual potential impact as an individual is small enough that it doesn't cause me enough disquiet to change tack. Thinking small scale has helped me. It has made me feel less directly helpless.

And that's another reason I don't feel overly guilty - because I was forced into that position. Because the struggles of our current world - especially as a trans woman in the UK, and with shaky mental stability at the best of times - burned me once too many already. Confronted with almost apocalyptic inhumanity and lack of hope in the world at large, on so many fronts - I think I have a psyche that has to retreat from that to stay sane. To compartmentalise at least a little. To focus on my own life as things fall apart beyond my walls, and hope for better but not fight for it, because honestly I don't think my fight will really lead to things changing in any way that's tangible.

Maybe some people are the type who can fully take up that fight. I don't think I am. I'm just tired, and I think that it needs to be accepted that that's just the way some people are. Or if you hate me for it, that's fine. Hold that disdain, just please, if you respect my humanity, leave me be. I do feel guilty, some. Just not enough to overcome how tiring it felt to try to push back.

It may be a privilege, but honestly nobody should have to fight all their lives. It's not a fair default state.

I do my best, in a few small ways.

[nikrei]

December Comics Round-Up

We're hitting the DC Explosion, and then right after that, the DC Implosion!

Action Comics (444-479) (1975-1978)

We're getting into longer storylines, which is fun! And I'm also enjoying all the little mundane "day in the life" backup shorts, they're better snapshots of characterization than most of the main storylines.

Superman (284-322) (1975-1978)

Starting to exam the balance of Clark vs Superman, and it's tipping more towards even these days when before it was pretty firmly 1:9 Clark to Superman. I'm very much not a fan of rehabilitated villians falling back into old ways. There's pretty much never a good reason for it beyond "the writer thought it'd be cool to have this guy be evil again" and it really exemplifies the worst trait of comics: status quo is king. Any development can and will be deleted at any time. And guess what! That shitty story was exactly when Martin Pasko (my enemy) took over as the writer! And then he continues to pound out the stupidest stories like he's competing with Bob Haney (my enemy) for the title of "the worst. And now it's the end of 1977 and we are bringing back kryptonite into the world. I guess some writers got tired of not having an easy out.

Superman Family (175-187) (1976-1978)

Lucy Lane has showed back up, once again only in Jimmy's story. This time superman got to meet her and see what's up, but still we have no idea if Lois even knows she's alive, I'm chewing the drywall folks. Out of the collection of stories I'm enjoying Kara's and Krypto's the most, loving Krypto's time as a movie star complete with a romance with his costar (tho that seems pretty over now, rip Krypto one day I'm sure you'll be able to keep a girlfriend)

Black Lightning (1-6) (1977-1978)

Rereading this as a part of the superman mythos instead of a stand alone is pretty neat, and I agree with all the folks who wrote in asking about a Rose\Thorn cameo, that would be great (I do not remember if this happened or not). It was interesting to see Talia with ties in suicide slums thru Peter Gambi, the first time I read I was just excited to see her (still am) but wasn't thinking at all about her future activity in Metropolis.

1st Issue Special (13) (1977) | The Return of the New Gods (12-19) (1977-1978)

Between this run, Cosmic Odyssey, New Gods 89, and Mr Miracle 77 and 89, this run is the most Kirby-esque. It does a really good job of picking up that torch. I did forget how very thoroughly they killed Darkseid at the end of it, tho it certainly didn't stick.

Mister Miracle (19-25) (1977-1978)

Of the Steve's I absolutely prefer Gerber to Engelhardt. I just do not like Steve E. But Steve G introduced Ethos who is rad and wrote a Much better Barda, and I would have been interested to see where he went with Alianna. I had forgotten about Scott's sort of merging/becoming a motherbox, and I'm sad that it seems like future Mr Miracle authors also forgot about this because it was one of the neatest things to come out of this run.

Super-Team Family (1-15) (1975-1978)

I picked up this run as a team-up mag, not a reprint mag, and deffo Not a Challengers of the Unknown save Henry Kissinger from the bermuda triangle and pretend he's some sort of angel of peace and goodwill towards man. We get back to team-ups about halfway through, but I'm going to need dc to leave Jean Loring alone, they cannot fucking be trusted with her. The last issue is fun tho! New Gods and Flash team up! Once again Barry has been nerfed for the sake of a team up (these authors just do Not understand how fast he is) but not too terribly and it was still v enjoyable.

World's Finest Comics (228-246) (1975-1977)

It is sort of impressive how much I hate every part of issue 228's main story. Every. Little. Part. I meant to finish this up to 1978 by the end of the year but it's wild how Bob Haney (my enemy) saps my will to read comics. What even was the Kor-el storyline? It's turned into an anthology, so I do get to cleanse my palate with Green Arrow and Black Canary stories at least.

Superboy (207-235) (1975-1978)

I understand that the story's that they write will always reflect the values of the times, but does a universe set 1,000 years in the future have to have the exact same values? Its just unimaginative. Also bls save me from reverse racism stories. ...hey.. I think it's pretty messed up to send Infinity Man back to spinning thru the tortures Infinity of time that broke him in the first place. Just saying. This comic (all comics) has such an awfully punitive bent.

Karate Kid (1-15) (1976-1978)/Kamandi (58) (1978)

Not so much a fan of this one.... they nerfed Val, he's having trouble with basic stuff and its especiallyobvious reading it side by side the superboy/Legion title where he is his usual badass self, and i'm sorta annoyed that they axed his flightring in the first issue, and it's orientalist as hell, like. These villians. This art. Whats wrong with you?

Adventure Comics (438-455) (1975-1978)

Sad the the Spectre's run seems to have ended, happy that aquaman's has started! The 70s Spectre was sooo much fun he's just murdering everyone in increasingly creative ways (turned a guy into glass and shattered him, brought a guy's taxidermy bears to life to eat him, turned a guy into wood then took the time to slice him up at a table saw) 60s and 80s Spectre could never. Wrt aquaman, 444 confirms that both aqualad and aquababy are nameless, then as of 446 aquababy gets his name! Let's see how long he lasts. 452 and he's outta here! Aquababy down, and I'm gonna make sure that Arthur follows him, what a dipshit, and Aqualad still doesn't have a name. Aqualad's backup feels a little out of character for me, like, he learns a group of pacifists killed his father so he immediately decides to fuck up their whole town? Implied to be willing to kill them? That's not my boy. I was a little disappointed to go back to superboy in smallville stories, but the first one was tiny babs w superpowers! So everything is forgiven.

Flash GL backups (217-243) (1972-1976)/Green Lantern (90-100) (1976-1978)

Forgot that Green Lantern had a back up feature in Flash! So I went back and read all these! Fun to have Hal back in space, tho i did enjoy all of his green arrow team ups, and also yay, Itty's here!

Aquaman (57-63) (1977-1978)

This was just none stop let's beat on Arthur fest and I'm not gonna lie, he so deserved it but even i was feeling a bit bad for him at the end. Mera's adventure to try and save Arthur Jr was badass and heartbreaking, and it ended with the trip reunited, and Aqualad said he found his name but while he found his parents names (also Thar and Berra? Really? Compared to Arthur and Mera?) in his adventure backup he sure didn't find his. Also they never actually say what name he found sooo.....

The Brave and the Bold (117-132) (1975-1977)

Okay I'm gonna need Haney to stop writing about any indigenous person ever. For real. He needs to shut his mouth. Then issue 124 was the most bewildering 4th wall breaking, author insert issue I've read in a while. Deffo implied that the writers/artists are in the same universe but still controlling everything that happens around them.

Teen Titans (44-53) (1976-1978)

I've got mixed feelings about this run after the hiatus. Love Mal's tenure as the Hornblower, hate that it's so short with no explanation (he just "loses the horn??" Bullshit) V annoyed with how they handled aqualad (he's psychosomatically falling into comas because of his "inferiority complex" comparing himself to the other titans?? Bullshit) but I do enjoy the big three parter at the end that has just about every teen hero out there. Mostly, I can see why it got canceled again: it just meanders without any thought to what's going on, the stories aren't that interesting, and they randomly nerf characters all over the board.

The Phantom Stranger (35-41) (1975-1976)

Well at least we got Cassandra back for the last two issues. And it was fun to have a Deadman team up! Overall this definitely fell into the "too preachy" category in the later half. (I mean. Its the Phantom Stranger. His whole thing is preachy. But still, its more fun when he's hanging out with actual people like Cassandra (sorry Boston u don't count apparently))

Weird Western Tales (34-38) (1976-1977)

Whelp these last five issues of Jonah in Weird West were more of the same fun romp, and I will be excited to read him in his own mag in January!

Shazam! (17-35) (1975-1978)

The last couple of issues suddenly got a new artist who was all about the more modern 70s style rather than the traditional golden age that they were doing before. Very much enjoyed Freddy beating the shit out of captain nazi. Overall I'm honestly meh about the Marvels as a separate universe, I'm looking forward to what'll happen in new earth.

Ricard Dragon, Kung Fu Fighter (1-18) (1975-1977)

Woo-hoo Shiva's first appearance! Also Ben! (Sorry Richard ur a distant third) I'm really glad that there was never a hint of romance for Shiva, and everytime somebody ventured it she shut them down cold. And her love for really shitty puns, I liked that too. The whole thing was wildly Orientalist tho, like wow these authors do Not think there is a difference between China and Japan. Basically every minority gets the short end of the stick (sorry that u keep getting shot or grievous headwounds, Ben) but it is pretending to revere east Asian cultures so it's ridiculous that they don't actually know anything about them.

The Secret Society of Super-Villians (1-17) (1976-1978)

Finally an ensemble with a plan and a plot!! Its a little like a proto suicide squad if the squad had no one around to ride herd on them! And Darkseid is there! I enjoyed the first arc, but after Darkseid skipped town things got a little aimless. Lots of crossover activity with Super-Team then JSA then Freedom Fighters, and I know it got canceled and it's not their fault, but the last two unpublished issues are pretty much the Freedom Fighters show with nothing for the Secret Society.

Starfire (1-8) (1976-1977)

I will admit that i picked this up solely for the name of it. The first two issues are by Michelinie (one of my fave bronze age writers) and he sets up such a cool story! I think this Starfire and Kory would get along so well! Then some other asshole picks it up and it becomes 10x more uncomfortably sexual (nothing overt, SA just starts being a more prevalent trope) and all her lieutenants don't respect her and are only following her because they want to fuck her and are really gross about it.... why would they do this to me... the last issue had a new writer team and felt like it was gonna be fun but they deffo got unexpectedly canceled, so that's the last of her, rip.

Kobra (1-7) (1976-1977)

Oh God this motherfucker was written by Martin Pasko (my enemy) way to start on a bad note. I saw Kirby and got excited, but apparently this is right when he was leaving DC, so Pasko took it over and rewrote dialog and changed character designs. And another Jason B enters the ring! So far we have Jason Bard, Jason Blood, and now Jason Burr! Okay, it starts off retty good. The premise is pretty fun, and it's wild how the story beats follow Danny Temple's storyline in Robin 93 (not so surprising, given that he was supposed to get a run as Kid Kobra) but with like 500% less bio-essentialism. Like, we've got good twin\evil twin but it is strongly nurture over nature. Also I'm enjoying that good twin Jason just Does Not Like the cops, that's an unexpected dynamic. But then, of course, Martin Pasko (my enemy) starts off strong then flops when he has more than three issues to work with, i hate him what is this mess?? Double is so unnecessary! I mean I guess it's good to find out how Randu ended up blind, but at what cost?? Mel you did not deserve Pasko's bullshit I'm so sorry babe.

1st Issue Special (8) (1975)/The Warlord (1-10) (1976-1977)

I really like the combination of fantasy and sci-fi in Skartaris, but it does fall very much into the tropes and pitfalls of the time. Still pretty enjoyable, and I'm gonna have a good time reading it, I think.

Showcase (94-96) (1977)

New doom patrooool!! Love to meet Arani under different circumstances, wild that she fully did have a romance w Niles in this version. I can see why it didn't get extended, as it lost the "outsiders and weirdos" charm that the original had.

I did mean to get everything to 1978, but I ended up spending more time with friends and family than reading comics over the holidays (terrible I know)

[jorisjurgen]

13?

Worst blorbofication:

Chara Undertale because they make fandom actively insufferable. I don't even know where to begin, from the fact that I've received death threats for not liking the popular headcanon that Chara and Asriel were siblings, to acknowledging what Asriel said at the end of the game about them mistreating him and that it was really unlucky that he met them, how he wished he met Frisk instead, even if he still loves Chara despite that. (I've seen people claim that it's "insane" to imply a child could abuse another child, and like... I was NOT beaten violently every single day for eight years by other kids at school and developed CPTSD about it just to hear this opinion.)

Chara, a bitter child who, like many children in real life, acts violently and cruelly due to their life dealing them a bad hand. Who acts that way towards their only friend, who loved them unconditionally in his innocence. And being blinded to it by their hatred for humanity, hatred that is more powerful than desire their desire to live, they squandered it for a revenge plot of killing all humans. Then, them having to see what happened after they died by tagging along with Frisk as a ghost, how wrong they were about killing all of humanity because Frisk is nice, and what their ideas did to Asriel, and changing their mind, but it being far too late to change anything and redeem themself, because they're dead, and Asriel is changed beyond recognition, trapped in a body he hates, is far better storytelling than the popular headcanon, and at the very least, much closer to what happens in-game, with their presence largely being an implication. (And cough cough. Flowey is Asriel. Asriel is Flowey. And he was beaten to death and his body and mind were ruined by the trauma, physical and mental. He's physically disabled by his physical trauma, and he hates being disabled and having PTSD. I am tired of pretending otherwise or that "oogh flowey turns back into asriel and gets a happy ending and he's good, and can walk, and isn't mentally ill and evil anymore!" fanfiction don't annoy me.)

Or, like, that people saying they were "suicidal" when they fell, on accident, into a fucking hole, doesn't make me insane. When it's the first thing the player ever sees.

Unlike Frisk, who is implied to have come on purpose, either to actually end their life or because of something else, in their heart-to-heart with Asriel at the end of the game. Not that anyone cares.

I LOVE CHARA, WITH ALL MY HEART, but GOD I wish people loved them like I do. They're interesting, they're tragic, they fucked up so bad at such a young age, because of their skewed worldview and cruelty, and they will never get to apologize to Asriel or get better beyond whatever development might have happened in the pacifist route. Because they're dead.

And it makes me so sad that other people reduce them like that.

[buildarocketboys]

Frankenstein Chapters 9-14 @tumbleclub

Literally just gonna post the quotes I've highlighted this week without commentary (unless I really wanna put commentary) because I'm tired and there were a lot of chapters this week! So putting it under a cut:

Chapter 9:

When I thought of him I gnashed my teeth, my eyes became inflamed, and I ardently wished to extinguish that life which I had so thoughtlessly bestowed.

Before, I looked upon the accounts of vice and injustice that I read in books or heard from others as tales of ancient days or imaginary evils; at least they were remote and more familiar to reason than to the imagination; but now misery has come home, and men appear to me as monsters thirsting for each other’s blood.

I could not consent to the death of any human being, but certainly I should have thought such a creature unfit to remain in the society of men.

Chapter 10:

Why does man boast of sensibilities superior to those apparent in the brute; it only renders them more necessary beings. If our impulses were confined to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might be nearly free

The monster very much echoes a similar sentiment later, when he realises how wretched his situation is.

“I expected this reception,” said the dæmon. “All men hate the wretched; how, then, must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! Yet you, my creator, detest and spurn me, thy creature, to whom thou art bound by ties only dissoluble by the annihilation of one of us.

Remember that I am thy creature; I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.”

I do think the consistent Adam/original sin of knowledge are interesting...

Listen to my tale; when you have heard that, abandon or commiserate me, as you shall judge that I deserve. But hear me.

You accuse me of murder, and yet you would, with a satisfied conscience, destroy your own creature. Oh, praise the eternal justice of man!

I love how sassy the creature is here. Go off!

My heart was full, and I did not answer him, but as I proceeded, I weighed the various arguments that he had used and determined at least to listen to his tale. I was partly urged by curiosity, and compassion confirmed my resolution. I had hitherto supposed him to be the murderer of my brother, and I eagerly sought a confirmation or denial of this opinion. For the first time, also, I felt what the duties of a creator towards his creature were

Chapter 11:

I was a poor, helpless, miserable wretch; I knew, and could distinguish, nothing; but feeling pain invade me on all sides, I sat down and wept.

:(

I was delighted when I first discovered that a pleasant sound, which often saluted my ears, proceeded from the throats of the little winged animals who had often intercepted the light from my eyes.

Sometimes I wished to express my sensations in my own mode, but the uncouth and inarticulate sounds which broke from me frightened me into silence again.

How strange, I thought, that the same cause should produce such opposite effects!

When I found this, I resolved to quit the place that I had hitherto inhabited, to seek for one where the few wants I experienced would be more easily satisfied.

The whole village was roused; some fled, some attacked me, until, grievously bruised by stones and many other kinds of missile weapons

This kind of reminded me of everyone attacking and driving out Jean Valjean in Les Miserables.

He raised her and smiled with such kindness and affection that I felt sensations of a peculiar and overpowering nature; they were a mixture of pain and pleasure, such as I had never before experienced, either from hunger or cold, warmth or food; and I withdrew from the window, unable to bear these emotions.

Everything about the creature's story is so fucking heartbreaking

Chapter 12:

If such lovely creatures were miserable, it was less strange that I, an imperfect and solitary being, should be wretched. Yet why were these gentle beings unhappy?

Their nourishment consisted entirely of the vegetables of their garden and the milk of one cow, which gave very little during the winter, when its masters could scarcely procure food to support it.

Subsistence farming sucks :/

Chapter 13:

I heard of the slothful Asiatics, of the stupendous genius and mental activity of the Grecians, of the wars and wonderful virtue of the early Romans—of their subsequent degenerating—of the decline of that mighty empire, of chivalry, Christianity, and kings. I heard of the discovery of the American hemisphere and wept with Safie over the hapless fate of its original inhabitants.

Interesting examples of orientalism/racism against Asians vs at least sadness over colonialism of the native Americans

“Of what a strange nature is knowledge! It clings to the mind when it has once seized on it like a lichen on the rock. I wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling, but I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death—a state which I feared yet did not understand.

I had never yet seen a being resembling me or who claimed any intercourse with me. What was I?

Chapter 14:

He was tried and condemned to death. The injustice of his sentence was very flagrant; all Paris was indignant; and it was judged that his religion and wealth rather than the crime alleged against him had been the cause of his condemnation.

Parallel to Justine's condemnation?