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sleeping-on-cracking-ice · 4 years ago

Note

pls do part two of “you're everything you once hated” 🥺

Alright! I originally wasn’t going to do a Part 2 of this but a few people have asked so here you go! 😙

You’re Everything You Once Hated | Suguru Niragi

PART 1 | PART 2

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

{Main Masterlist}

Character(s): Niragi (ft. OC, Ann, Tatta, Hatter, Kuina)

Summary: You attempt to escape Niragi to replenish your visa by yourself, but he catches you and makes sure you won’t do it again

Warnings: (okay here we go) blood, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, obsessive themes, suggestive themes, graphic violence/torture, needles, being held hostage, deranged behaviour, reader is traumatised, implications of a panic attack, dehumanisation (kind of?), mention of amputation, mention of suicide, guns, knives, reader sees a corpse, minor character death

Word Count: 4.6k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: this is quite heavy and messed up, so I recommend people under 15 don’t read this

The young man leant against the large building, holding a small rose in his sweaty palms as he waited for you to arrive from your after school class. He winced as the thorns slightly caught on his olive skin. He sighed and craned his neck back to rest on the wall behind him. No matter how much he attempted to distract himself, the rate his heart was beating kept bringing the nausea to his stomach.

The sky was painted a soft mix of orange and pink as the sun began to fall asleep below the horizon. Valentine’s Day couldn’t have created a more romantic atmosphere for Niragi, he couldn’t mess it up now or he would let cupid down himself.

“What the hell am I even doing?” he questioned himself, wiping his brow with the back of his wrist. “She probably doesn’t even see me this way. We’ve been best friends for years, if she felt something she would’ve told me by now, right?”

He was stressing himself out, continuing the doubt whether his idea was good or not. He was considering dropping the rose and just walking away, being too afraid of the reality that he had been in love with you for years and had never been able to voice it. He felt embarrassed about himself, making his head fill with insecurities and doubts.

His phone vibrating in his pocket pulled him from his thoughts. Niragi reached into his blazer and pulled out his device, noticing a text from you.

‘I’m on my way,’ it read.

He heard your footsteps around the corner and straightened himself up, letting out a sigh to relieve tension. He knew there was no going back now, so he had no choice but to go ahead with his confession.

Just as he was about to turn the corner to meet you, he noticed a male voice that echoed yours, making him freeze in his tracks. He kept himself pushed against the wall, trying to listen to what you were saying.

“I mean, movies are cheap at the moment. Do you want to go see one together?” Niragi heard the boy say. His heart sank at the males words and his hand holding the rose fell from his chest to drooping towards the ground.

Your voice, that was all too familiar to Niragi, answered him. “Sure! I’m busy this afternoon, but I’m free this weekend on Saturday.”

Saturday. Niragi frowned. You and him always went to the park together every Saturday to have a picnic together. You wouldn’t forget about that, would you?

His disappointment turned into anger suddenly. The exhilarating emotions filled his mind and heart so quickly, it took him off guard. As his hand twitched slightly, he shook his head to remove the thoughts from his head.

“Okay, I’ll send you a text later to talk about times and stuff,” the boy said. Niragi’s curiosity got the best of him and he peeked his head around the side of the building to catch a glance of who you were with. He wished he didn’t.

It was one of the young kids that picked on him in Science class, which you weren’t in. Niragi felt betrayed, but tried to reassure himself that you just didn’t know what this guy was really like.

“Bye Y/N,” the boy muttered shyly, making Niragi fume at his fake behaviour. ‘He obviously is just trying to get in her pants,’ Niragi thought to himself, jaw clenching in annoyance at your blindness.

The boy leaned close to you and left a soft kiss on your forehead making you smile and wave happily as he walked away. As soon as he disappeared up the stairs a few metres up, Niragi leant back so you couldn’t see him.

He felt tears building in his eyes, so he quickly wiped them away before you found him. He jumped as he saw you turn the corner, hiding the rose he held behind his back.

“Hey Niragi!” you exclaimed, having the same gorgeous smile that you always conveyed around him. Usually the small action would make him melt into the ground. But at that moment, he didn’t think anything you did could make him feel better.

“You okay?” you asked, leaning close to his face with your eyebrows raised. His heart beat picked up, noticing how your lips were only a few inches away from his. He turned his face to the side, hiding his blush. “Yeah, I’m just tired,” he lied through his teeth.

As he kept up his innocent façade, small droplets of blood slowly drizzled down his wrist from the tight fist enveloping the thorned rose. His confined anger flowed through the blood that spilled from the cuts in his palm, but he didn’t feel a pinch of pain through his tensed muscles.

Perhaps one day, the world would give him another chance to show his love for you.

***************

You woke with a start as someone busted through the door of the room, looking around in a panic at who would enter so suddenly. Your eyes widened as you caught sight of Niragi, stumbling into the room with his usual sniper rifle slung over his shoulder.

“Sorry love, did I wake you?”

You stayed silent, sitting up properly and watching his movements closely. You didn’t trust a single thing he did or said, so you still remained on high alert whenever he was in this room alone with you, despite the fact you had been sharing the room with him for three days.

“You getting hungry? I brought some food up last night for you while you were asleep,” he said, placing his rifle on a small table. You watched as it collided with the wooden surface, flinching at the loud noise.

You hadn’t been able to leave the room since your injury. You had been shot in the foot by an overly sensitive militant woman who you weren’t even sure was still alive after the beating Niragi gave her in front of you. His behaviour during that time alone was enough to you terrified, especially the fact that it is impossible to run from him now.

But the lack of movement on your foot has proven to help and you have noticed the bullet wound healing quite well. The ointment and bandages you apply regularly on it (no help from Niragi) has been working perfectly, and you were praying for the moment you could move your stuff back to your own room and escape Niragi’s unpredictable and psychotic behaviour around you.

As if he read your mind, Niragi spoke up. “How’s your foot? Is it getting better?”

The sweet tone in his voice was so contradictory to his intentions. You hated the fact that he thought you fell for his fake façade. To be honest, he probably knew you didn’t believe him, but continued with it to keep you on your toes.

You glared at him through the top of your eyelids, keeping your head low in suspicion. As Niragi sighed from your unresponsive behaviour, he strutted over towards the bed that you were laying on. You panicked and used your arms to push yourself away from him, being terrified of his presence alone. Spending only a few days with him was enough to make you realise how despicable of a human being he actually was.

“Shh, calm down. It’s just me,” he attempted to calm you.

You froze as he sat on the bed nearby your legs. A pained expression grew on your face as he slowly lifted your injured foot to place it gently on his lap, running his hand carefully over the bandage you had applied before going to sleep.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, glancing up at you. You shook your head no, watching as he smirked slightly and turned back to it.

“I’m going to have a look at it,” he demanded, beginning to unravel the bandage on your foot.

You remained still, watching as he was unusually careful. It made your adrenaline run rapid, not knowing when he was going to suddenly snap.

As he pulled the final layer off your foot, relief filled you when you saw that it was still fine. The injury had turned into a small hole in the top of your foot, no blood or redness in sight. Maybe perhaps you could walk again soon, and be able to replenish your visa that was due to end in a few days.

Unfortunately, Niragi wasn’t as happy about this knowledge, and he intended to do something about it.

“Hmm,” he hummed in thought, leaning over to the night stand and picking up a small unwashed needle that he had kept there. It was left there by Ann a few days ago, as she had to come to the room to stitch up a cut that Niragi had obtained during a game.

Your eyes widened at the sight of him holding the needle close to your bullet wound. “W-Wait, Niragi,” you stuttered, nervous about his intentions. “What are you doing?”

Niragi glanced up at you, a devilish smirk painted across his face. His expression made your stomach churn and you attempted to pull your leg from his grip. Your heart rate picked up and you began to panic when he refused to let go.

“Don’t worry, this won’t hurt much. Just... try not to scream.”

Just as you were about to protest, Niragi pinned your foot onto his lap and pushed the tip of the needle as hard as he could into your bullet wound, making you let out a silent scream and thrash in his hold.

You screamed and screamed and screamed, a horrific pain continuously shot through your foot to your leg. You swore at some point it felt like he was cutting your foot off.

“NIRAGI!” you wailed. “STOP! PLEASE!”

You begged and begged through your cries of pain. After what felt like a century, Niragi pulled the needle out of your foot slowly and placed his hand over the wound to attempt to stop the bleeding. You were now lying on your back, sobbing lightly into the sheets and given up.

You felt Niragi caress your face with the back on his hand lightly. “My little princess needs to stay here, where I can keep her safe. You can’t leave. There’s horrible monsters at The Beach and I would hate for you to fall prey to one of them.”

You felt like screaming at him. How could he be so blind, so ignorant. He was the monster, and he failed to realise it.

He placed your leg off his lap, making you let out a small cry. Niragi crawled further up the bed next to you and sat on the sheets. You were facing away from him, not even daring to turn to look at him. You could hear him unbuttoning his checkered shirt, seeing it fly over your frame and land on the floor. A shiver made its way up your spine as Niragi’s hot breath hit the nape of your neck and his warm limbs snaked around your torso. He placed his hands underneath your shirt and softly caressed the skin of your stomach whilst nipping at the skin on your neck.

“You’re so pretty. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you over these years.”

His words sounded so loving, so sweet. But your reaction was the opposite of what he wanted. A slow, sorrowful tear traveled down your face and you began shaking in his embrace in fear of having him so close. You wanted to close your eyes and wake up back home, back in your own bed with your family’s hushed conversations spread throughout the house. This wasn’t home, this was absolute hell.

“Why are you shaking? Are you cold?” your tormentor asked. He removed his hands from underneath your shirt and pulled on your shoulders to make you turn over to face him. You kept your eyes shut tight, refusing to submit to his demands.

He pulled you close once again and placed his hand on the back of your head to push your face into his bare chest. Niragi’s usual smell of blood and metal filled your nostrils, making you grimace against him.

You continued to shake, not being able to control your movements. Niragi sighed, tucking his chin on the top of your head and nuzzling into your hair, taking a breath of the all too familiar scent of the shampoo you’ve always used for your hair. How you managed to find the exact one in the Borderland was beyond his understanding.

The smell made him feel at home. The comfort he found in you was too strong for him to handle, making him become deranged at the thought of you being back in his arms. It scared him, how much he actually depended on you to keep him happy.

And while he continued to hold you close and smile happily at the feeling of your soft breath against his chest, he failed to notice the continuous flow of tears that cascaded down your face and the shaking of your hands that gripped the top of your own thighs violently, trying to realise the tension of the adrenaline in your veins.

************

You had had enough.

Niragi did nothing but put you through absolute torture and trauma no matter how much you attempted to reason with his psychotic self. Bruises littered your body from his usual violence, committing to the awful promise that he was going to make sure you couldn’t leave the room.

You were imprisoned. It felt as if you were trapped in a cage that had the easiest lock in the world to pick, only you didn’t have hands to unlock it.

So two days after the needle incident, you decided you were going to escape, even if it killed you.

You had to replenish your visa, considering it ended the next night. You feared that Niragi would just leave you to die, not caring about your visa, so you had to take it upon yourself.

You may have had an infected bullet wound and a nearly crushed spirit, but you weren’t going to let this be your end. You had to at least try.

*************

“Oi, I’m leaving now,”

You shifted your eyes from your hands resting in your lap to the tall, deranged man who stood at the door of your room. He had his usual black and white buttoned shirt on, charcoal hair tied up at the top to keep it out of his face and his relaxed hand tucked into the pockets of his dark jeans. You almost felt disappointed. How could such a handsome man be wasted by such a horrific mentality.

He carried his loaded sniper rifle in his arm, fiddling with the trigger as he awaited an answer from you.

You nodded your head and turned back to your hands, twiddling your thumbs nervously. You stayed frozen as you heard his footsteps make their way over to you.

Niragi lifted your chin with a harsh grip to your jaw and smashed his lips onto yours. You closed your eyes tightly in discomfort, feeling his desperate lips bite over yours hungrily. It made you feel sick to your stomach.

He pulled away, your lips connected by a string of saliva, making him chuckle. “I’ll be back kitten. Maybe I’ll bring you back a present,” he suggested, raising his eyebrows.

You nodded once again. You knew what he meant. Perhaps an amputated hand of one of your friends? Or the eye of a seeker/hunter to remind you of the “monsters” he’s hiding you from? At this point, you were desensitised to it.

The feeling on his lips on your head brought you from your thoughts. He softly stroked his hand through your hair, tucking slightly on the ends, making you wince.

“Stay here, and don’t answer the door if someone knocks.”

And with that, he left. You stayed completely still for a few minutes, waiting in case he decided to come back just to torment you further.

After you were sure he was completely gone, you shifted to the edge of the bed and swung your legs over the edge to stand up. You had practised walking around the room on your injured foot for the past few days when Niragi wasn’t there, so you had grown used to the random aches that shot up your leg from your bullet wound while walking.

You waddled to the door, slowly swinging it open and grabbing the small knife that sat on the table nearby. You had to have some kind of weapon in case something was to happen.

As you stepped outside, a few people were still making their way down the halls towards the lobby. You noticed a young man that you had somewhat befriended when you first arrived at The Beach named Tatta. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you, a smile growing on his face.

“Y/N! Where have you been?!” he exclaimed excitedly, running to you and throwing his arms around you in a playful embrace. You grimaced at his loud voice, being afraid of a certain someone potentially hearing him say your name.

“Hey Tatta,” you said back, giving him a right hug. You swore you felt like you could’ve cried in his arms from how deprived you were from normal human interaction without the fear of being assaulted.

“Are you coming to the games tonight?” he asked, pulling back from the hug and keeping a hand on your shoulder. You nodded. “Can I stick with you?” you asked with hope in your eyes. Tatta smiled and hit your arm lightly. “Of course! I’d feel better going with someone I knew.”

You agreed and began walking down the hall towards the lobby together in a comfortable. Tatta failed to notice you being more cautious, checking around corners before you turned and whipping your head around to glance behind you every now and then.

************

Just your luck, a ten of spades. You swore the world just wanted you dead. At that point, you had become used to the never-ending bullshit that was thrown your way.

You clawed your way to the table that held the card. Holding the single piece of cardboard between your fingers had never felt more satisfying. You slid down against the wall near the registration area, limbs shaking from the muscle strain you faced during the game. Tatta knelt in front of you, rubbing your knee in an attempt to comfort you, but nothing he could do would make you feel better.

Back at The Beach, you sat in the lobby on one of the leather couches, rubbing your foot to try and ease the aching pain coming from your wound. You had heard when you arrived back that the executives had called a meeting, so you weren’t too worried about running into Niragi.

You closed your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, rolling your head back to rest against the couch. Moments like that were complete bliss. For a moment, you were able to forget your current situation.

A sudden hand on your shoulder ripped you from your meditation, and you turned your head to see none other than Kuina with a red face and heavily breathing from running. “Hey Y/N,” she started. You sat up and turned around fully to face you.

“The executives want you in the meeting. They heard you collected a high number card and they need you to deliver it.”

Your heart dropped at her words, realising what was coming for you. You had to walk into that meeting room, where Niragi stood. He was going to find out about your little adventure you had without him knowing. Adrenaline filled your senses from the thought of what he was going to do to you.

You slowly stood up, wiping your sweaty hands on your shorts and checking your card was still in the front pocket. You gulped heavily and nodded to Kuina. “Okay, I’ll head there now.”

Every step towards the meeting room was another towards hell. The more stairs you climbed, the more nausea filled your stomach, the more thoughts filled your head. You were seriously just considering throwing yourself off the roof of the hotel, as that seemed like a better option than facing Niragi.

You arrived in front of the double doors, freezing in your path. You don’t know how long you stood there, sighing shakily and attempting to crack your knuckles to relieve tension. But still, as you lifted your hand to push on the large wooden door, your arm shook like a leaf.

You trudged in, hearing the room fall silent at your entry. You refused to look up from the ground, keeping your widened eyes locked to the carpeted ground until you reached the end of the table.

“Ah, Y/N. Finally! Care to show your card?” you heard Hatter ask. You glanced up and caught sight of all the executives gathered around the table on chairs. One of which was of course Niragi.

You locked eyes with the psychotic man, and your stomach dropped when you saw the scowl on his face. He was staring directly into your soul, eyes hardened with anger and unforgiveness. If looks could kill, you would’ve been on the floor dead before you even made it to the table.

You focused on the task at hand and pulled the card from your pocket, placing the somewhat damaged ten of spades on the table. Hatter reached over and held it close to his face to examine it as everyone watched. Well, everyone except Niragi, who held his piercing gaze on you. You swore you could feel him burning holes through your skin.

“Hmm,” Hatter hummed in approval. “Thank you very much Y/N, that will be all,” he said, making a shooing movement towards you.

You nodded and thanked him before quickly walking out of the room. As soon as you stepped out, you broke into a sprint towards you and Niragi’s shared room.

You had to leave the room before the meeting finished. You feared the absolute worse.

When you arrived at the room, you ripped open the door and scrambled inside, groaning at the pain your foot was in. You didn’t have a choice, you had to hurry.

You made your way to the large closet, immediately reaching for the top shelf to pull down the miniature machine gun that Niragi stored up there as a spare. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to know about it, but you managed to spot him tucking it underneath the clothes at some point.

As you were shuffling around the cupboard trying to find some bullets desperately, annoyed and stressed sighs and gasps leaving your mouth, you froze when the sound of the door opening hit your ears. Immediately assuming the worst, you grabbed the door of the cupboard and closed yourself inside, attempting to enveloped yourself in the piles of clothes and resources.

The keyhole in the door of the cupboard allowed you to have a small space to look through. You closed one eye and glanced through the hole, spotting Niragi placing his sniper rifle on the bed and untying his hair, running his hands through it in stress.

You didn’t dare even breath, keeping all your limbs tucked close so you didn’t knock over anything. You were so afraid that Niragi would even hear the sound of your heart beating, as it was as loud as a drum in your own ears.

You grimaced as a sudden putrid smell filled your nose. The smell of fresh flesh that you were all too familiar with from living in the Borderland. You turned around in the cupboard and moved to the side so the light of the keyhole would at least somewhat illuminate the small space. The sight in front of you was enough to make you throw up.

There sat Tatta (or at least, Tatta’s remains), empty eyed and leaning against the back of the cupboard. Bullet holes littered his once kind face, probably counting eight at least. You covered your mouth in horror, letting out a loud cry at the sight, pushing your legs against the ground to scramble away from your dead friend.

Once again, just like the other day during the needle incident, you screamed and screamed and screamed. You fell backwards out of the closet, curling into a small ball and screeching into your palm in horror at the now clearer sight of your friend’s corpse.

Everything was crumbling around you. Your voice was being ripped to shreds at the back of your throat. Your mind was falling apart, not being able to handle the traumatising events that you’ve faced, breaking and tearing itself apart. Your body was broken. Bruises and scars scattered your frame like an artwork, each one holding a connected traumatic event.

Niragi sat on the bed, watching as you screamed on the ground over by the corner of the room, tears sliding down his tanned cheeks.

What had happened to you? Why did you change so much in these few years?

Niragi slowly stood and made his way over to your shaking frame, hooking his arms underneath your shoulders and knees to lift you bridle style. He smiled sadly down at your shivering frame, not being able to control your rapid movements.

“Aw baby, you’re a mess,” he cried, a sob escaping his mouth halfway through his sentence.

He brought you back over to the bed, crawling on his knees to the centre of the mattress and crossing his legs to lay you in his lap with your head tucked into the crook of his elbow.

He brushed your hair with his fingers, trying to ease your breathing as you kept your eyes tightly shut in fear. “I tried to warn you. Look what happened,” he chuckled through his tears, motioning his head over towards the cupboard. “Do you like your present? I saw you walking with him on your way back to the hotel and thought it would be perfect. Why don’t you like it?”

You opened your eyes and looked up at him with fear all written all over your face. You didn’t dare move from his embrace, being too afraid.

Niragi smiled as he caught sight of your glistening eyes, reaching a hand up and stroking his thumb along your cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he breathed out, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

You brought your shaking hands up and rubbed your face before finally speaking up. “I want to go home,” you desperately whispered, turning your head and pressing your face against Niragi’s clothed chest. He watched as you brought your hand up and gripped the material of his shirt in your fist tightly, conveying anger and stress through your grip.

“You are home kitten,” he states, rubbing his cheek against your head. “I’m your home. I always have been.”

He wasn’t lying to you, and that was the pill that was hard to swallow. Niragi had been your source of comfort for so long, and for once in your life, it felt foreign to lay in his arms and to look into his night eyes.

Oh how weird it felt to look at something that conveyed such sweetness, such delicacy and such empathy, only for it to be utterly ruined by its environment.

You’d like to think that it wasn’t either of your faults. But in the end, it doesn’t depend on the environment, it depends on how you react to it.

Neither of you were perfect, but you were both incredibly different. It never would’ve worked between the two of you, and being in the Borderland did nothing but strengthen that fact. In the end, your differences would either tear you apart from each other emotionally, or you would tear each other apart limb from limb.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I’m back to finishing off the fanfic requests that have been sent to me because I finished all the prompt scenarios. I won’t be doing another part to this because I honestly struggled for so long trying to figure out a plot for this one 😭 But anyway thanks so much for your patience. I’ll be uploading these fanfics as quick as I can! ❤❤

Small addition to this fanfic talking about Niragi’s motives and intentions

#alice in borderland #alice in borderland imagines #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland one shots #alice in borderland scenarios #alice in borderland x reader #aib #aib imagines #aib imagine #aib one shots #aib scenarios #aib x reader #niragi #suguru niragi #niragi imagines #niragi imagine #niragi one shots #niragi scenarios #niragi x reader

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cheekygreenty · 3 years ago

Text

Little Witch - Part 5

The Darkling x Reader

2 days had passed and you mainly spent them sulking and training in your room. You had been in a weird mood ever since your talk with Aleksander. You barely left your chambers, only to check on your keftas and grab food to eat. The atmosphere of the palace indicted that the Darkling had left the palace for a couple days, your suspicions confirmed by the fabrikator working on your kefta who seemed to love a good gossip. You had thought that maybe Aleksander was ignoring you, but the news made you relieved.

At this particular moment, you decided that wasting away in your room was pointless. You made your way to the gardens to take a refreshing walk. The grounds of the palace had changed unlike the inside of it. There was more greenery, even in the dead of winter. Your cape trailed behind you soaking in the melted snow on the path. Although you've been alone for the better part of 2 days, you barely had time to think about anything other than the usual. Your thoughts are constantly whirling with ideas on how to control your powers, how to make yourself more powerful.

Your life has always been a struggle of power due to never having anybody try to teach you those things, you doubted anybody could. There was barely any of your kind, and those that were like you would probably never know it. You had a long life ahead of you, you knew you weren't a mortal, not the true definition of it anyway. The more small science you could practice, the more life you had in you. You may have looked like a normal 23-year-old, but you had a hefty 176 years of life behind you. You seen many army’s crumble and Kings die.

You looked ahead of you and saw Baghra's hut. You never liked her and she was never fond of you. Thankfully, Aleksander never cared for her opinion. You debated going in and surprising her. What would she do? Beat me with the stick for coming back. You understood why she told you to stay away. She was protecting her son. She is still Aleksander's mother after all.

The door flung open and a black-haired girl rushed out, gripping her arm and on the verge of tears. This wasn't a rare occurrence. Baghra was ruthless. She slammed the door and huffed. You had never seen the kefta color combination. Summoner blue and gold? Saints. It's her. The Sun Summoner.

'Are you alright?' You found yourself asking.

She looked at you and sighed

'I will be if I never have to go back there'

You chuckled.

'She's always been a wretched bitch'

She looks back at the hut as if fearing Baghra would hear.

'It's fine, she wouldn't care anyway, I'm Y/N'

'Alina, but I feel like you already knew that'

'Saints, You know me so well already' you jested.

'Are you a Grisha? You're not wearing a kefta'

'I am, but I like my keftas to be very specific, takes a while to make them' You had started walking and the girl followed much to your surprise, probably curious about you. You slowly walked through the gardens.

'What do you do?'

'All sorts of things' You teased but changed the subject 'How are you settling in?'

'Well apart from the fact that I can't bring a sliver of light to me or that I'm forced to eat herring, I'm peachy'

You couldn't help but laugh. You liked her.

'If it's any consolation, I hate the herring too. I much rather pastries for breakfast, no?' She smiled in agreement.

'The trick to summoning is to not let anything get in its way. No emotions, no memories, It needs a clear, controlled path. Think of it like a carriage. You need a road with no obstructions but you also need reigns on the horse to pull it back, stop when you want it to stop'

You tried to explain it simply. You struggled with this when you lost all your abilities too. It was both tiring and painful to get it all back under control.

'I know, but it's not as easy as it sounds.' She looked down at her palm.

'I completely understand Alina. I truly do.'

You sympathized with her. At first, when you heard the rumor of Sankta Alina, all that came to mind was that you could take some of her gift; you were greedy. But now, you felt bad for her. She had so much to live up to yet she could barely produce a ray of light. Moreover, you had a feeling Aleksander had already weaved a plan to use her against her own will and morals. It's what he did, and he was damn good at it too.

'I think I have to go now, combat training awaits.' She mumbled as two summoners approached us. 'I'll see you!'

'Bye Alina'

You watched as she left. You noticed she was missing that spring in her step that the rest of the Grisha here have. You cared for the girl already. You couldn't help it. At one point you too were in charge of the Grisha in the Palace and always made sure they were happy and taken care of. Alina was lacking something, you were sure of it.

*****

Later that day, upon your arrival to your room from the library, you noticed boxes, many boxes. This could only mean one thing: your keftas finally arrived. You let a shriek of excitement out as you unwrapped each individual one and laid it out. Saints! you were in love.

They were all yours and only yours. You made sure of it. You looked at the black keftas and stopped. You had certainly gotten ahead of yourself while requesting those. You were miles away from the power of the shadows and your key to them was somewhere in Kribirsk tending to his Second-Army. You cursed yourself. They were the prettiest ones too. You sighed and tucked them away in the wardrobe for another time. Pity. They'll have to wait.

You tried some on and decided right then and there. It's time. It's time to stop hiding away in your room and moping. You had a life to live and powers to show off. Your old title was waiting to be filled, Second in Command of the Second Army, Deputy General Y/L/N.

Opening the doors wide, you waltzed your way to the halls where rumors and whispers spread, already knowing your chair had been put in its place and was silently pleading to be sat in once again.

Click here to see some of the keftas that I couldn't include in the text'

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Part 6

@xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @0-artemis

#alexander morozova #alexander #alina starkov #shadow and bone #the darkling #the darkling x reader #imagine #fanfic #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #netflix #series #one shots #grisha #kefta #shadow summoner #little palace

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thefirsttree · 3 years ago

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A personal update + my next game

OK, time to do this. I’ve been meaning to do a big DAVID WEHLE™ update for a while now and explain why I haven’t released a new game yet, but you know how life gets in the way. Especially when life is a quarantine hellscape, you have three beautiful, amazing, exhausting kids to raise, a spouse’s job you support, a viral YouTube channel that turns your brain to mush, a thousand emails waiting in your inbox since your game is free on the Epic Games Store (with an impressive number of redemptions too! … meaning lots of emails and customer support issues), etc., etc. What also contributes to my lack of updates is because… I just don’t really like posting online. Fascinating correlation, I know!

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a venting/ranting blog post (well, maybe a bit), because my life is seriously AMAZING and INSANELY BLESSED and LUCKY. I can’t believe how many dreams keep coming true, so much so that I feel I don’t deserve it and I really pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes… but I did want to at least be honest, because I owe that to myself.

Wow, where do I even begin? Well, how about we start with the reason I’m even a full-time indie game dev now: The First Tree. This small hobby project I worked on at night morphed into this gargantuan beast (or fox) that took over my life the past 5 years. Which is great! I’m living the dream! And yet, I really didn’t expect it to do as well as it did. At its core, my game is a slow-paced, sad walking simulator (ahem, I prefer the term “exploration game,” but you know what I mean) that somehow seemed to launch at the right time to the right audience. It resonated deeply with some of you, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I still get emails almost daily how my game changed their lives in some formative way. I’m beyond honored.

However, with that spotlight came criticism and demands from the ever-present, insatiable internet. I would randomly be surfing the gamedev subreddit trying to decompress, and I would see a comment by some rando saying how much I didn’t deserve my success, and how it was all one huge lucky fluke. And I believed them!

And to add to it, some devs considered me an indie marketing “guru”, which I was uncomfortable with. I worked hard to market my game every week, and after my GDC talk, people assumed marketing was my passion; the reason I got up every morning. Just to clarify… NO, I don’t like marketing, and I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like asking people for money and wishlists. But I did what was necessary because I was passionate about telling stories, and I wanted to give my story a fighting chance to be seen on the crowded pages of Steam.

So now, you’re probably wondering “well then David, why did you make fancy YouTube videos showing off your success? Not very modest if you ask me.” This honestly could be a long blog post all on its own, because my experience of putting myself in the spotlight and becoming a “content creator” is… complicated. It was an unusual step for me, especially since I never even showed my face online (as a game developer) until my GDC talk.

First off, I always wanted to teach and start a YouTube channel. I love video editing, especially since I’ve been doing it longer than making games! It’s a huge passion of mine. And teaching people who didn’t know they could make and finish games was a huge motivator (and it’s been so rewarding already). But the second reason is, I was scared. I was self-employed, and I was riding the success of a “huge lucky fluke” that would probably not happen again. I wanted to make sure I could provide for my amazing family, and give them food and health insurance and security in these tumultuous times. I was turning my lifelong passions and hobbies into a business, and it wasn’t as simple of a mental transition as I thought.

So, I went all in on YouTube and the accompanying online course called Game Dev Unlocked. I spent years editing the scripts and videos, and polishing them to a shine. At first, no one watched my videos, no one was buying… and in the blink of an eye, the YouTube algorithm picked up my main autobiographical video (“How Making Indie Games Changed My Life”), and I started getting 5,000 subscribers a day. Right now, I’m at 150,000 subs, which is still hard for me to believe. I always had a dream of earning 100k subs on YouTube, so I was pretty happy with the whole thing. Sales were OK, but mostly people didn’t want to buy the course. Then the emails came in…

Something you should know about me: I am a textbook “people pleaser,” and if someone asks for my help, I take it very seriously. If someone is mad at me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all I can think about, and it ruins my day. So, taking an onslaught of people begging for help and multiplying that by an impossible amount of people for my brain to truly comprehend thanks to the internet… and let’s just say it wasn’t a healthy mix.

I received thousands of emails from people who were begging me for some kind of reassurance that everything would be OK. That their dreams would come true too. And I wanted to help every single one of them. I went from a nobody working on a game for fun to becoming a spokesperson for the indie game dream. I couldn’t even get a shake from the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru without someone recognizing me and asking for game dev advice. And it didn’t stop there… I would get emails from suicidal kids asking for help, teenagers from Afghanistan asking me to get them out of their country, and on one occasion I received an email from a hopeful game developer in a war-torn country who had just experienced a bomb blowing up their neighboring village. His friends were dead, and he was hoping he could finish a game before he died too, and he needed my help. How do you say no to something like that? Didn’t I owe it to everyone because I was lucky with my hit game and I needed to “pay it forward”? (Something people constantly reminded me of)

And then to top it off, after you’ve given everything you’ve got to other people in need… you get hate mail in your inbox. You spend the whole day serving your children and strangers on the internet, then when the kids are finally asleep, you hit the bed to relax and take a look at your phone to decompress, and you randomly come across an angry gamer in your Twitter mentions telling you your game they got for free sucks, and that you took away a potentially great game from them and that your apology isn’t good enough.

Long story short, I went to a mental therapist for the first time in my life. I was broken trying to care for two toddlers and a new baby in a pandemic (which is very, very hard), taking care of my course students who gave me their hard-earned money and demanded results, and the countless people begging for help on the internet. I was this introverted, internet-lurker trying to take on the weight of the world. I was so tired and hurt that no one cared about me and my needs… only what I could do for them.

Quitting my day job and making this hobby my full-time job has stirred up… mixed emotions. This statement may disturb some of you, but I was definitely 100% happier when I had a full-time job and I was working on my game at night. I missed working with the amazing team at The VOID, working on Star Wars… back when the success of my game was this abstract thing I could only daydream about. Mostly, I was making my game for me with no outside expectations to pay the bills or satisfy the ever-demanding internet, and that brought me a lot of joy.

It’s not all doom and gloom though! I’m actually very happy now and in the best shape I’ve been since the pandemic started. I’ve had to confront my weaknesses and personality quirks, but I’m a better person for it (and I’m sure these issues would’ve come out eventually). I hired an awesome community manager for Game Dev Unlocked who is helping SO MUCH with the emails, I can’t even tell you the mental burden it alleviates. I even leased a co-working office to help separate work from my home, and that’s been a huge help too. I’ve decided to work with my old friends from The VOID on a cool, new VR experience. It will take me away from my projects a bit, but I’m ecstatic to work with a great team again (and not manage anything, whew).

These are all things I would’ve never guessed I needed, because I thought I knew myself pretty well… turns out I didn’t.

The reality is: running a business is HARD. Running it solo is even harder. You have to remember, I was burnt out on The First Tree well into the Steam release in 2017, but I kept working on it for 4 more years due to my fears of failing again and not earning enough money for my family.

So, I was wrestling with the age-old concept of commercialism and art. There was this dichotomy of doing whatever I wanted and being true to my vision (what most people assume the indie dev dream is like), and doing only what customers wanted to buy. This is something that has killed me with YouTube… in one specific instance, I was super excited to make the exact video I wanted to make. I loved every part of its creation, and I thought it had a message that would inspire everyone. I lovingly edited it over several weeks, posted it, and excitedly waited for the stats… and it was by far my worst performing video.

This is not a new problem. Even the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo was a commission forced upon him by the very violent Pope Julius II. My wife and I regularly talk about the fine balance between artistic integrity and commercialism, a problem she is very familiar with as an artist who constantly needs to balance what she wants to make with what the customer wants to hang up in their home.

For The First Tree, I was lucky. It was pretty much what I wanted to make (I had to compromise a lot of things of course), and it turned out millions of people wanted it too. Recently, I thought the safe business decision would be to do it all over again, so I started work on a spiritual successor to The First Tree (an idea that I may revisit one day since I do love the story idea). But that isn’t happening anytime soon. Trust me when I say I am now currently burnt out on animal exploration games.

So that realization left me with a question: what do I do next?

I’ve decided I need to make a game that I want to make, for me. It will be a bit different and I’m almost certain most fans of The First Tree will not love it… but it’s an idea that gets me super excited. It’s an idea that could help me fall in love with game development again.

A few more details: this game will be story-driven, first-person, and will use the Unreal Engine. That means development is gonna be slow going, because I have to learn a whole new tool. The “smart business” decision would be to make something quickly in Unity which I’m already familiar with… but I want to do this for me, and UE5 looks like a lot of fun. I’m also shooting for an early-ish release date so I avoid burn out and I keep the game short: I want to release it in Fall 2022, but knowing game development, it will probably take longer.

With the help of my therapist, I’ve also concluded that I’ve been too accessible on the internet and that my self-worth isn’t determined by the amount of people I try to help online. Of course, I love helping people and seeing them succeed, but I need to step back and focus on my family and myself. I will delete my social media apps on my phone (I will still post big updates occasionally) and stop responding to most emails, tweets, DMs, etc. It’s not that I’m ungrateful… in fact, if I don’t say thank you or at least acknowledge the incredibly nice people who share a sweet message about my game or want to tell me how I inspire them (still hard for me to believe, lol), I feel a ton of guilt… but I need to let that go. Please know I’m extremely grateful to all the fans who follow my work, so even if I don’t thank you directly, I truly mean it: thank you.

I will still post and stream occasionally on YouTube when I want to (and I still do live Q&A’s for my GDU students). The online course sales will help support my family as I work on a potentially risky game idea (and my new job will help alleviate the risk too). I’m gonna try one more marketing experiment and sell a mini-course soon (and add an Unreal section), and after that I’m done working on it. A gigantic thank you to the people who bought my course and are part of the amazing community, it has helped me and my family tremendously, and it’s inspiring seeing the games you make!

I’m a bit worried about the whole thing since this new game idea could flop, which could definitely affect my family. But a sappy, high-school yearbook quote is coming to mind… I think it applies here: “A ship in harbor is safe—but that is not what ships are built for.”

Thanks for reading,

David

#gamedev #indie games #the first tree

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deaththesyd · 3 years ago

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To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 3, Trapped

Finally done! I think I got a little carried away with the length, but I just couldn't stop writing! Hope y'all enjoy the final chapter! Also, per request @mytanuki-kun

Summary: Trapped in her domain, taking on what was left to fester.

The day he had been dreading finally arrived, and he was forced back into her proximity with no place to hide. He still tried though, but when that didn’t work and she approached him, signaling him out of the group, there was simply no way to excuse himself without merely delaying the inevitable. He had been acting a coward, but was he really willing to risk running away? Causing a scene in front of his fellow Akatsuki members? He looked away from her only to meet the daring eyes of his partner, Itachi, who surely knew that he had been contemplating an excuse that would keep the wrath he could feel rolling off her in waves from unleashing upon him. Another moment of weakness and he turned away, and was caught off guard by the side glance he received from Hidan of all people. Kisame was trapped, and the woman in front of him was growing impatient with his lack of a timely response. He had no choice but to face the consequences of his actions.

Following her nervously to her room, he was both thankful to be out of the spotlight and wished to be as far away from her as possible. Staying away from her had felt like hell, yet stepping into her room and watching as she furiously slammed the door closed, he felt as though he had found a fate much worse. Wanting to look away, save himself the torment of watching her, but still yearning to take any scrap of attention she could give won out easily. Running a frantic hand through her hair, she was unable to stand still, her normal fidgeting increased under the stress of her emotions, she began to pace in front of him, quietly fuming and gathering her thoughts. The moment of silence didn’t last long enough in his opinion. “What the hell is up with you?” She spoke loudly, obviously not expecting a response. “At first, I just thought maybe you needed space, that you were tired or something! But then a month goes by and you’re ‘busy’ on a mission! What a load of bull!”

Kisame remembered when he had requested that she be placed with another pair while he and Itachi traveled, the excuse had seemed reasonable enough. It seemed as though she hadn’t bought it.

“And now that you’re here, you’re absolutely silent! Nothing to say?” She growled, the accusation sounded more like she was daring him to say anything, rather than an opportunity to give an explanation. “Of course you don’t, just like you haven’t for the past few months!” The pent-up anger was unleashed, and all he could do was stand awkwardly, gritting his teeth and wishing he wasn’t the one who caused all of this to happen in the first place. Even when she was venting her anger at him, pacing back and forth frantically, she was the one who made his heart ache with longing. “I thought we were friends! I thou-”

“We were!” He broke in, but he realized his mistake when she paused in her movements and turned to look at him helplessly before her anger masked the pain.

“Were?” She shrieked, “What the he-”

“Are! I meant are!” He cut her off to correct his mistake,” God, Woman, obviously, I didn’t-”

“Guess I’m just an irrational woman then,” she hissed, cutting him off in return.

Glaring down at her, his frustration was met with a fiery challenge that came from her own gaze.

But she turned away first, most likely to hide the tears that had collected along her waterline. He was glad she had turned away at that moment because seeing her cry because of him twisted his expression in a way he couldn’t hide. When she spoke again, if he hadn't seen her tears before, he would have known she was crying by the slight waver in her voice. “If we’re friends, why have you been avoiding me?” It sounded like she was trying to sound angry, but all he could hear was her defeated tone and the way she struggled to steady her voice.

“I haven’t, I was busy with a mission,” he tried to dig into the lie, but he already knew it was a lost cause.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” She muttered, still cowering away, still trying to hide the tears that blurred her vision.

She wasn’t, he knew that, yet he kept his mouth shut.

“Am I just annoying?” She tried, pausing a breath to wait for a response, when he still didn’t say anything she continued, “Am I too emotional? Too hard to put up with, too needy? I’m not fun enough, or maybe I’m too loud, quiet? Am I too soft? So weak you can’t stand to be around me anymore?” Her emotion-filled voice rose with every new insecurity she listed and it didn’t seem like she was going to stop anytime soon. “You always have to take care of me, I’m sure it gets old, right? Spending your earnings on extra food, clothes, and supplies. Needing to break so often because a useless civilian like me can't keep walking day and night on a mission like a super-strong ninja like you. Giving up your own comfort so that I’m warm, throwing yourself in front of harm's way because I wouldn’t be able to survive even the wimpiest jutsu, wasting your energy on reassuring me that things are fine even when you’re fighting, it’s all too much and it’s all my fault.” Somewhere along the line, it seemed as though she wasn’t mad at him anymore, and the guilt hit full force when she turned to blaming herself.

“That’s not it,” he managed to say through gritted teeth, and she finally looked at him, angry tears running down her face. He could hear the scraping in his mouth from the amount of pressure he applied as he used all his strength to keep his face guarded and impassive.

“Then what is it about me that made you leave!?” She yelled, and he didn’t think about the words that came out in response.

“I can’t have you!” He yelled back, and suddenly the electric air that had crackled around them since the yelling had begun was no longer present. What had her tears dragged from him?

Raising his voice at her had been his last intention, right next to confessing his feelings, and he regretted it as she stepped back and pressed back against the door looking up at him in shocked bewilderment. The mix of her eyes on him, and his embarrassment at his loss of control made him feel like a pit opened in his stomach, and heat rushed up his neck as if to choke him. Right at that moment, he wished it would. Scaring her away wasn’t what he planned on doing, but for a second he feared that was what he had done. The initial shock wore off quickly though, and against the backdrop of tear tracks still fresh and glistening, her eyes became determined.

Pushing off from her spot against the door she took only a small step forward, but he stepped away, fearing what the look in her eyes meant. His whole life he had been a predator, but caught in her gaze he felt unsure if he was really the one to fear. Again she moved closer, and in response, he did the opposite. “What do you mean by that?” She asked quietly, once again closing the distance, and pushing him further away. “What do you mean you ‘can’t have me’?” She pressed, voice firm, her tone no longer angry. He wanted her to go back to being angry, that was better than the shame he felt now. He felt cornered, and when he ran out of space for retreat, the backs of his knees bent, forcing him to sit on her bed. Even with him sitting, she was just barely taller than him, yet he felt so small as she seemed to leer over him, blocking his exit. “Kisame,” she urged expectantly, “Tell me.”

He couldn’t break eye contact, not under this pressure, and the red puffy skin around her eyes was what made him give in. He had already said the worst thing possible, there was nothing else he could add to make her more disgusted. But was she really that disgusted if she could stand to be so close? The tiniest bit of hope managed to worm itself into his thoughts, and he couldn’t squash it when she looked at him so patiently. A lump had formed in his throat without him noticing and he gulped it down before he answered. “I can’t-” he started, then rethought, “I mean-” he struggled, not knowing how to tell her she was an unobtainable beauty for a murderous monster like him, that he was a subhuman beast that couldn’t ever hope to have her held in his arms, that she was meant for someone that was normal, and better looking, that he had spent the entirety of his life knowing that he was unlovable and that he was stupid enough to fall for her anyway. There were so many words that could have worked, but he couldn’t string together a complete sentence under the stifling atmosphere. The smallest part of him hoped she would give up on getting him to say anything, that she would give him some pity, but the rest of him felt this moment was a worthy punishment for the stupid desire he still had to hold her heart as she already did his.

So focussed on his sputtering attempts at supplying an answer, he jolted when her hand cupped his cheek, and he froze when she gently brushed her thumb along a gill slit. His eyes probably bugged out of his head in disbelief, but her own was glossed over in pensive thought. He didn’t dare move, and his head should have been spinning with thoughts, but instead, it was blank, nothing but the gentle warmth of her touching his face seemed to register. She spoke slowly, not meeting his questioning eyes, her thumb still rubbing back and forth along his cheek, “This was all because…” She focussed on him again, and he had no clue how he hadn’t seen the tears starting once again, “You have feelings for me?” Absolutely dumbfounded, he couldn’t speak, focussed on her teary gaze, he simply nodded. And then he was knocked backward.

It happened so fast, it took him a moment to process it all. The first thing he felt was the wet that seeped through his shirt, followed by the warmth of the sobbing woman shoving herself into him, fisting fabric as she buried her sobs into his chest. Another moment of half laying on her bed with her sprawled on top of him and he felt his arms wrap around her, gently, unsure if he should, if he was allowed, but she didn’t protest, and he felt too greedy to restrain himself. They lay there for what seemed like forever, but he still couldn’t find any words that were worth saying, and she was preoccupied with drenching his shirt. What possessed him, he had no clue, but one arm slid up her back and a hand began to comb through her hair carefully. She didn’t protest, and he momentarily noted that it was the only time she hadn’t when he touched her hair. It was soft, the tangles that caught on his fingers pulled apart without resistance, and if he focused, he could faintly smell the scent of her shampoo. It was nice, the sweet fragrance fit her. He felt creepy sniffing her hair like an animal, so he turned his head away from the tempting smell. The longer he played with her hair, the more her crying died down, until she stopped. The silence continued, only broken by her deep breaths as she tried to regain some composure. His hand still resting on her back began to rub firm circles in a way that felt natural. Once again, she either didn’t mind, or she simply lacked the energy to stop him, but once he started he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Especially not when the grip on his shirt lessened and she relaxed her tense muscles.

“You’re so stupid,” she muttered, and it hurt, but it felt right to finally hear her rejection. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to stop his greedy hands from taking what they could. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t have you’?” She laughed humorlessly, and he was confused, didn’t she know? Ripping his hands away the moment they were met with resistance, he looked at her as she pressed up from her position on his chest. “You already have me,” she said, her voice gentle and reassuring, as she moved to hover over him, repositioning herself, before lowering herself to press her lips to his. Kisame had been kissed before, he wasn’t completely inexperienced, but the soft press of her lips to his was enough to make him forget to respond, and by the time he caught up with what had happened, they were gone. Caught off guard once again, he hadn’t closed his eyes, and he saw her eyes flutter open as she put space between them again, shifting her weight to tuck her hair behind her ear as she leaned over him, stunning him with the affection clear in her adoring gaze. “You’ve had me this whole time.”

It felt so unreal, all of his actions couldn’t have been his, yet who else’s could they have been? Greedy hands pulled her down, needy mouth pressed against hers, eliciting sighs that he wasn’t ready to accept were caused by him, running his hand through her silky locks again, taking advantage of the high chance that this would never happen again. But it did, they had to come up for air, but almost immediately she was panting against his lips, trying to force her tongue in between his sharp teeth, and how could he deny her? One of her hands tugged on his hair, while the other was too busy supporting her to join, an issue he fixed by pulling her into the center of his chest. Her technique was rusty, but the longer their kiss held, the more easily she could pull groans from him, her now free hand cupping his jaw for a better angle. What brought him back into reality was the heat that was beginning to gather in his groin, and he wasn’t about to push his luck. Holding her back caused her to whine, but she instead shifted her attention to his neck, peppering it with fluttery kisses, they tickled and he felt her shake as a laugh rumbled through his chest.

“Shouldn’t we talk about this?” He asked, making her huff as she halted her affections to prop herself up on his chest to glare at him sternly.

“That can wait, first you have to deal with the consequences of your actions,” she instructed.

“And what might those be?” He asked, feeling uneasy at the threat in her words. She may return his feelings, but up to now, he had acted so unforgivably.

The evil smirk she attempted to pull off held only a fraction of a second before it softened and she pressed a gentle peck on his forehead, and another just above his brow, then along the side of his face, lips fluttering down till they met the corner of his own. “You just have to stay here while I smother you in my kisses,” she said before she began the cycle of kisses again along the other half of his face. A disbelieving breath of laughter left his gasping lips, it didn’t feel real at all, even as her lips trailed down to his collar and began to leave sloppy open-mouthed kisses on the sensitive skin, he had to be dreaming. His breath hitched as she found a sweet spot and she applied suction, swirling her tongue along what was sure to be a bruised purple later. The distraction that her promise had given him ended as her ministrations caused him to be reminded of a quickly rising issue.

Turning his head away from her he managed to sputter out a plea for her to stop. Reluctantly, she did, looking confusedly at him. “Too much?” She asked, trying to get him to meet her eyes, then more worriedly, “Was that not okay?”

Trying to reign in his breathing and slow his racing heart rate was taking more effort than it should’ve, but he forced himself to look at her, simultaneously appreciating the beauty that hovered above him, and cursing himself for making her think he didn’t want everything she could give. “Too much,” he confirmed, making her relax a tad bit, “It’s just a lot to handle all at once.” Giving him an understanding look she pressed off of him, moving to sit on the bed next to him. Feeling as though that was her taking his words as a cue to leave, he frantically sat up as well, ready to reach for her should she get up from the bed, but his fear of rejection was unfounded as she placed a calming hand just above his knee. Her warm touch grounded him and he forced himself to calm down. Funny as it was, the space she gave allowed him time to process what had happened without the near suffocating amount of feelings being fed into. Probably feeling similarly, she sighed in content, keeping her space, staying mostly quiet, but she never took her hand away from him as he took advantage of the pause in activity to think.

Now knowing his choice to try and save himself from the pain of being around her was one of the least helpful ways to handle his emotions, and that all along she had craved him in the same way, he felt like the biggest fool. Of course, he had noticed some of the more odd things she did around him, like how she seemed to be flustered by his touch, but he had always taken that as her disguising her disgust, not that the addictive warmth that lingered made her just as excited as him. The laugh he worked so hard to hear, the one that ripped snorts and unfeminine seal noises from her, the one that seemed to infect him with an unstoppable need to laugh as well, was music to his ears as his rough throaty chuckles were to hers. All the times he had caught her staring, it wasn’t because she had simply spaced out, nor was it because she was appreciating someone else’s looks, she had been admiring him. The anger and worry he gave her when he took a risk in battle were more than her fretting over him more because she thought he wasn’t strong enough, she chastised him because she couldn’t stand to see him get hurt while protecting her. Within only a few moments of collecting his thoughts and putting things together, it was so obvious now how his self-doubt had clouded his ability to see what was clear as day to everyone around him. She really had been transparent about her feelings this entire time, and he had simply waved them away, trapped in his self-pity.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Whipping her head to look at him, taken aback, she must not have understood what he was apologizing for. He didn’t let her worry a second longer, as he gently held her chin and lifted her lips to meet him for a soft kiss. It wasn’t long, only a few seconds, but this one eased her more than any of the ones before. Pulling away, he was gifted the sight of her eyelids slowly opening, revealing expectant eyes. Kisame hoped that was a common thing he was going to be able to see from now on. “I shouldn’t have run away from you like that, I was just…” He trailed off as he strained to admit the word he knew was right. Shifting closer, her other hand reached for the closest of his, encouraging him to continue. No matter what he said, she wasn’t going anywhere. Still ashamed, he finished, “A coward. Being around you always felt so bittersweet, it felt so good when you laughed at my jokes and fed into my antics, but knowing that I wasn’t worth anything more than someone to pass the time with to you was torture.”

Stupid as he felt confessing to her, she didn’t laugh, just leaned her head into his shoulder, squeezing affectionately his leg. He continued, needing to let her know why he had ever allowed himself to hurt her. “I’ve spent my life being nothing more than a monstrous weapon, even in a group like the Akatsuki, my appearance still stands out, and not in a good way.” Feeling her nuzzle into his arm, her way of showing her disagreement, he felt nothing but warm affection for her, thankful she was a rare outlier from the rest of the world. “Allowing myself to consider that I had a chance with someone as amazing as you hurt more every time I remembered just how much of a freak I am,” he chuckled when he heard her whine in response, but she didn’t interrupt further. “Eventually everything you did just made me upset that you couldn’t feel the same way, and I made up my mind to distance myself.” Getting his built-up feelings off his chest felt rather therapeutic. Having her pressed against him, entwining their hands made all of his pent-up worries ebb away.

“Promise that from now on you’ll talk to me instead of leaving me stressed and confused?” She pleaded when he stayed silent.

Leaning down to indulgently breathe in her scent as he pressed his lips to the top of her head, he promised.

Staying like that for a while, they simply took in everything that had happened in the quiet. At least that was what he was doing until she started giggling to herself. “What’s so funny?” He spoke into her hair, vibrating along with her cute laughter.

“Is that why you were so insistent that I stopped?” She said through her soft laughing. Startled, he pulled away and looked down at his lap, seeing the almost forgotten product of his earlier arousal outlined clearer than normal. Distracted by all the emotional stuff he hadn’t realized how obvious his need had become. Heat washed over his entire body in embarrassment as he sputtered an apology. Still giggling the whole time, his mortification only made her laugh harder. Despite his efforts to escape her hold, she pressed herself close once again, choking out apologies of her own. “It’s alright, I’m probably a mess down there too,” she admitted, making him choke on air, causing her to laugh even harder. The deepening blush that took over his face began to make him sweat, but he tried to relax. Clearly, she wasn’t upset. Recovering from her little giggling fit, she looked up at him shyly smiling. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, so I’m glad you stopped me,” she expressed, but with more confidence, she added, “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to eventually.”

Just when he thought his body temperature couldn’t be raised further. He chuckled though, “I wouldn’t mind if you never were, as long as I can hold you,” he swore sincerely, making her snort, “But I look forward to the day when you’d let me take care of the mess I’ve made.” He teased, making her squeal before laughing again, hiding her face against his arm. As cute as her reaction was, his arousal was becoming too distracting. “I should go take care of this though,” He said reluctantly, making her shove away from him, ushering him towards the door.

“Go do that, you know where to find me when you’re done anyway,” she said, using her now free hands to fix her hair. He couldn’t resist reaching back to muss it back up before he left, laughing at her upset whine.

If only he had known of the teasing he would get from his fellow Akatsuki members who had heard the heated conversation loud and clear through the thin walls, he would have stayed and delayed the inevitable. But even though he was relentlessly teased, especially after Hidan noticed the stirring in his pants, at least he had her to look forward to from now on.

#kisame #kisame x reader #kinda heated #not too mature tho #tiniest mention of #itachi #and #hidan #Changed the title cause I hated it

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amlovelies · 3 years ago

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are we there yet?

this is another one of those deleted prompts from January that I am just now filling. better late than never right? Sidestep days, post nanosurge hurt/comfort. some mild spoilers for the public demo

big thanks to everyone on discord for all your help and feedback with this 💜

12. things you said while you thought I was asleep from this prompt list

fandom: fhr pairing: Julia Ortega/f!sidestep (Cynthia Basri) rating: T mention of mental trauma, migraines, nosebleeds, and cursing words: 2.7k read on ao3

It’s not until you hear Ortega’s voice that you realize the pounding isn’t just your migraine, but rather her fists against your front door.

“Cynthia, I swear to God I will break this door down!”

Part of you just wants to try and call her bluff and roll back over, try to lose yourself to the state of semi-consciousness you’ve been floating in for God knows how long. The other part of you knows she’ll do it. There’s thunder in her voice; she’s reached the end of her patience. Breaking it down wouldn’t even phase her, and the last thing you need right now is to deal with that mess.

“Don’t you dare,” you try to yell, but your voice just cracks from lack of use and dehydration.

It’s too fucking bright outside, even with Ortega looming in your doorway blocking most of the light. She’s tense, brow furrowed and her lips turned down in a frown. You’re too tired for this. Too tired for whatever confrontation she wants. You don’t bother with a greeting; it’s not like you invited her here. Leaving the door open, you trudge back to your bed and bury your face in the pillow.

You hear her close the door as she walks into your small studio. “I guess this explains why you weren’t answering your phone.”

You peek up to see her kneeling next to the shattered device. You’d thrown it when it wouldn’t stop ringing. You had tried to turn it off, but the buttons were too small, too difficult to manipulate. You just needed the noise to end. There was already so much chaos in your head, bouncing and rebounding off the sides of your skull, pooling behind your eyes, settling between your teeth. You were so desperate for some semblance of peace.

Was that two days ago or three? You can’t remember. Time has stretched and blurred, too many days in pain. Too many days with your brain full to bursting. You’re no stranger to pain, no stranger to migraines, but it’s never been like this. The first few days you’d been able to keep going, to swallow the pills, to swallow the pain and keep moving. It’s not like your comfort had ever mattered, but the pain hadn’t stopped. Two weeks now and you are tired, so tired.

“Somebody wouldn’t quit calling,” you say with a glare which just bounces off her. “I’m not dead, so you can quit worrying and go home.” The words slur on your tongue. It’s difficult to make it move the way you want to, but you get your point across just the same.

“Like hell I will.” Stubborn. “I’m not leaving you here like this.” So damn stubborn and arrogant. What does she think she can do to fix this?

“Please, just leave me the fuck alone, Julia.” It’s hard to keep your eyes open. Crystals dance in the edges making everything blur and twist.

“Not a chance.” You feel the bed dip as she sits down next to you and places a soothing hand on your forehead.

You whimper at the contact. The press of her hand alleviating some of the throbbing in your temple, making it a little more bearable. After a few minutes she gets up, and you groan at the loss of her touch. You almost call her back, ask her not to leave, not to stop touching you, but that would be too much. You can hear her rummaging around the apartment. You should probably care, probably worry about the invasion of privacy, but it’s too much effort.

Besides, you are the most incriminating thing she could find.

When she comes back to sit on the bed, she gives you a choice: the hospital or the ranch. She’s already packed your bag, and her mouth is a firm line. There’s no way out of this. She is more than capable of carrying you out of here against your will.

You take the lesser evil. Not that you are thrilled by the thought of spending hours in the car, not with the havoc the migraine has wrecked on your ability to keep any food down. When was the last time you ate anything besides dry toast? If you get sick in her car it’ll serve her right for meddling.

By some miracle the traffic isn’t terrible. Ortega is driving fast, reckless, but that’s Ortega. Los Diablos disappears behind you and the relief is immense. The roar of too many souls in too little space fades away. You can still feel the drivers around you. Blips of impressions, emotions, frustrations, occasionally the lyrics of a favorite song, but they’re gone too fast to stick, too fast to hurt. They can’t touch you.

Ortega helps too. The static nothing of her thoughts like a cool compress to your fevered brain. A maze to get lost in, to try and shut everything away. Not that you’d ever tell her that. It would just give her another reason to stick around every time you get hurt.

Shields had been your first lesson. The most important thing in a telepath’s arsenal, it’s too easy to be overwhelmed otherwise, to lose yourself in the howling around you. So many thoughts and feelings and emotions. Shields were your savior.

Your shields are gone.

Maybe the nanovores devoured them. A small price to pay when you compare it to the flesh missing from Ortega’s arm, to so many people just gone, to so much loss. What was your sanity in the face of that?

Maybe you are broken. It’s never taken you this long to recover before. It’s never been so hard to get your shields back. You’re not sure how much more of this you can take. She’ll force you to the hospital if this continues much longer, and you won’t be able to run. Even at your best she’s always been faster and stronger than you. Right now, you doubt you could dodge a single blow, doubt that you could throw a punch or misdirect a mind.

It’s not like the doctors could do anything for you anyway. Not the ones in Los Diablos at least. There were other doctors, specialists who loved nothing more than taking you apart and seeing what made you tick, how to make it better, how to make it stronger. What would they think about what you had done?

How would they try to use you because of it?

It’s too easy to remember. Too easy to remember rough hands and cold instruments. Fluorescent lights reflecting on exposed tattoos as you ran the drill again, again, again. Failure was not an option. Especially not when she was watching.

Your mouth tastes like copper and it’s too familiar.

“Jesus, Cyn,” Ortega’s voice breaks through your thoughts, “your nose.”

Fuck. Looking down you can see where the blood has already dripped onto your flannel.

Shields don’t just protect you from what’s outside. There are things inside you thought you’d locked away too.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t bleed on your seat.” You’d meant the words to bite, to set her at ease, but you just sound exhausted. Weak. She keeps glancing over at you, her brow wrinkled.

The shirt is already fucked; you might as well use the sleeve to sop up the mess. You’re almost grateful for the nose bleed. It’s better than the memories you were lost in. There’s pain and then there’s pain. “I’m fine. Just keep your eyes on the road, idiot.”

A huff, but she turns her attention back to the highway.

Good.

“I thought you said the nosebleeds had stopped.” Her voice is tight and you can see the tension where her hand grips the gear shift. Sparks dancing over knuckles.

“I did,” you say as you let your head rest against the window. It feels cool against your forehead and you sigh in relief. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s better than it was.” It is. The first few days after the nanosurge, it felt like the nosebleeds were happening every couple of hours.

Minutes pass in silence, and for a moment you think that maybe she’ll just let it go. That hope is dashed as you feel the car begin to slow down. You’re still an hour at least from the ranch. Still climbing the grapevine up into the mountains. You haven’t even reached the toll roads that sprung up to replace the damaged five following the big one. Not that Ortega would have to pay, the shiny Rangers decal on her windshield a free pass almost anywhere in the FEZ. You’re nowhere near the central valley, and you feel a stab of fear at the thought that maybe she’s changed her mind. Maybe she is taking away your choice, and she’ll turn the car around and drive you to the hospital.

Should you bail out now? Run while she least expects it? The hillsides are sparse and desolate following last season’s wildfires. The twisted layers and striations of the rocks are a stark reminder of the violent potential of the land. There’s nowhere to hide. Nowhere that she couldn’t find you, couldn’t catch you. Still, it would be better to die of exposure or thirst in the mountains than to return to that place.

“What are you doing?” you ask, trying to hide the panic in your voice.

She doesn’t answer as she brings the car to a stop off the side of the road and gets out. Not turning around then. You breathe a sigh of relief as you hear her rummaging around in the trunk, a thud accompanied by a soft curse, and then she is pulling open your door. You repeat your question.

“Do you expect me to just ignore it? Just keep driving like everything is fine?” she asks as she opens a bottle of water and begins to dampen a napkin with it.

“Yes? It’s not like you’ve never seen me with a bloody nose before. Fuck, you’ve given me one.”

She shushes you before pushing your hand out of the way and gently dabbing under your nose with the wet napkin. “That’s training. It’s different.”

“Not really,” you say with a shrug. “Blood is blood.”

“At least it’s stopped,” she says with a frown as she finishes wiping away the evidence.

“See I told you it’s nothing to worry about, idiot.”

Her hand cups your face, eyes staring into yours and you can’t bear it. You have to look away. You’ve helped bandage her up more than once, plugged in her mods, wrapped her cracked ribs, but you’ve rarely let her return the favor. Always dancing away from her hands, finding a way to slip away in the crowd before she can pull you to the medical tent. Too many secrets too easily revealed that way.

There’s nothing for her to stitch or wrap or heal now, just you and your broken brain and blood on your shirt, but she is here, so present. Her thumb is rubbing along your cheek, along your scar, her hand so often finding its way there.

A kiss to your forehead, her lips lingering as if she could have any effect on the damage underneath the surface.

You don’t argue when she tells you to drink some water. Swallow the pill she offers you. It’ll be stronger than anything you have access to. You’re thankful for the clean shirt she offers you. The last thing you need is to give Tía Elena another reason to worry and fuss after you. Julia leans against the hood of the car as you light up a cigarette. Just one, and then you are pulling back onto the road.

Maybe it’s the nicotine, or the painkiller, or just being away from the city, but you can feel the pressure behind your eyes lifting.

You drift in and out of consciousness. Ortega chats with herself, a running commentary of complaints, about paperwork and the media team. The stupid outfits they wanted her to wear for a photo shoot. Never comfortable with silence, she always wants to fill the space with words or actions. Can’t pace when she’s in the car, so words it is.

You don’t really sleep, not really. Just drift in and out. There’s a lot less traffic on the roads this far from the city center, and it’s peaceful. Your head still feels tight, unpleasant, but the painkillers Ortega gave you were no joke. Guess she wasn’t kidding about the Ranger’s health plan being second to none.

“Cyn?” your name draws your focus, but you’re too tired to respond. “Are you asleep?” A pause as she waits for you to respond, and when you don’t, she keeps talking anyway. “Still wish you’d let me take you to the hospital. Stubborn idiot.” A soft chuckle, and she continues, “I know, I know, pot kettle but still, at least I let the doctors look me over before I ignore their advice.”

She keeps talking, her voice quieter than before, barely a whisper in the empty air of the car. “I hate it, you know--” she takes a deep breath and her voice is brittle when she begins speaking again-- “watching you slink off after a fight. Not knowing how badly you’ve been hurt.”

It’s nothing she hasn’t said before, but usually with shouted words and frustrated huffs, not whatever this is. If you didn’t know better, you’d say she sounds fearful, or maybe that’s just you. Fearful of where Julia might be going with this. She stops speaking, but you can hear her fingers tapping against the wheel, as if continuing the conversation in her own head.

You want to pretend to wake up, to save yourself from her concern, but you feel frozen. It’s like listening from underwater. The combination of the lingering pain and exhaustion and the numbing effect of the painkillers keeps you submerged, unable to surface.

“I worry about you. I just wish . . .” her voice trails off. ”I guess that doesn’t really matter.”

Her fingers keep tapping against the wheel. You wish you hadn’t told her to turn off the radio. Her singing would be preferable to the anxiety you’re feeling now.

You don’t want to know what else she might say. You desperately want to hear what else she might say.

“Cynthia, I—" Her voice cracks and it feels like a blow, quick and painful in your chest — “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” There’s a desperate edge to her voice which you don’t understand. You’re the one who almost lost her, not the other way around. Why else would you shatter yourself, except to save her?

For a moment you had thought she was going to say something else. You should be relieved. Relieved that she didn’t say it.

You’re being fucking stupid. Drugged and stupid and wishing for things you can’t have. It’s always been an unsteady thing, this spark between the two of you. She’d push and you’d pull away. She’d give up, and go out.

Photos in the tabloids screaming out at you from the newsstands.

Who has Charge been seen with now? What sharp jawed man has had his arm around her waist?

She never denied it, and why should she?

You said it yourself. It was just fun.

There’s a tightness in your chest making it difficult to breath.

It doesn’t matter how much you want to hear those words. It doesn’t matter how much you wish you could reveal the truth to her. You belong hidden. In the darkness. Any attempt to expose you to the light will leave you shriveled and burned away. Exposed for the fraud that you are.

You jump in surprise as fingers tuck a strand of hair gently behind your ear

“Sorry,” she says as she pulls her hand back. She gives a small embarrassed laugh as she rubs the back of her neck and adds, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Whatever,” you grumble and avoid looking at her. Reaching forward you turn on the radio. It takes a minute or two to find a station, but once you do you settle back into your seat in relief. The noise is a much more controllable pain. “Are we there yet?”

“Not quite.”

#fhr #fallen hero #julia ortega #chargestep #lovelieswrites #if: fhr #fhr ortega #ship: you’ll be her ruin #oc: Cynthia basri #fic: cynthia basri #ship: chargestep #the deleted prompts

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soulmate-game · 4 years ago

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Prompt: “How did you- No, nevermind, I don't want to know, plausible deniability and all that" with... hmmmm.... Dick? Yeah, with Dick!

Real quick, I think a few of you misunderstood. When I say 3-from-1, I mean I am taking your single quote and pairing, and using it in all three prompts, not just one. Maybe this first one will help explain. Here are parts 1 and 2, since I think I’ve gone long enough without giving you guys content. I’m still working on the last part for this prompt, but it should be done soon!

— Part 1: The Romantic One (so Dickinette)

Tom and Sabine had decided that maybe a break from Paris was in order. Nobody could tell if it was the maniac turning random citizens into superpowered villains every other day, the fact that their daughter had come home with a few bruises that suggested extreme escalation on the side of her school bullies, or how they had caught said daughter asleep against her mannequin— standing up and drooling all over her expensive fabric.

Paris was clearly not a healthy place for Marinette at the moment, and a nice month-long vacation to Jump City was just what they needed. It was similar enough, with its villains and heroes, that they wouldn’t get too whiplashed by the long change in scenery. But it was also a lot safer than Paris was at the moment, and without nearly as many frequent large-scale villain attacks that ended with half the city in ruins as other places (looking at you, Gotham and Metropolis). The lack of villains that took advantage of civilian emotions was a plus.

Marinette, for one, was extremely grateful for the change. Sure, she still had to teleport back to Paris whenever an Akuma showed up, but Jump City was so much easier to relax in. And the ability to see the city’s heroes just walking around in full costume during the day, just relaxing, was an unexpectedly nice thing to experience. Marinette, as it turned out, happened to have a similar taste for places to hang out.

Now, she never spoke to them. She tended to just smile at the sight of them and go back to her own business— she knew how annoying it could be when people always invaded someone’s personal life just because they were well known. So when she saw them every now and then at the best arcade in town, or at one of the few vegan-friendly restaurants she liked? It brightened her day a bit, and she was pleasantly relaxed for quite a while afterwards. It was like, despite never actually approaching them, she was still among friends for once. People who understood everything she had gone through over the past several years since donning the Ladybug miraculous.

So yeah, she was enjoying her time in Jump City. So much so that her parents extended the trip indefinitely, and went through all the necessary paperwork to open a second location for their bakery in the city. They liked it there too.

That led to Marinette standing in line inside of the bank, right after getting all her own paperwork to attend school in Jump City in order. She was already exhausted from all the waiting and general boredom that followed doing anything official in America, and it was already past sunset to boot. The last thing she wanted was to be around when a villain attacked. The bank was already about to close and she didn’t know if they’d call her up in time for her to do what she needed to do.

And what happens? A blue-skinned magician with clear insanity and far too much of a resemblance to an Akuma to give her any sort of comfort comes bursting in and robbing the place. Marinette could only sigh, taking out her phone and informing her parents about the change in plans with all the ease of someone who was far too used to these kinds of things to be healthy. Luckily, the Teen Titans burst in only a few seconds later— must have been on a stake out, she thought.

Marinette put her phone away, deciding just to watch everyone in action. It was almost surreal, seeing such a large team fighting with such fluidity and lack of arguing. They seemed like such a perfect team, it made her envious. Only Chat was a good partner anymore, Marinette dreaded the days she had to find another temporary holder because nobody was a safe choice anymore. But the Teen Titans? They were a beautiful sight to behold.

That is, until Mumbo set his sights on her. The only civilian who wasn’t currently restrained, panicked, or hiding. Marinette blinked.

Oh, she thought. I must have been so tired I forgot to react to anything again.

But Marinette was also too tired to care much about first impressions, so the second Mumbo grabbed her arm and tried to use her as a hostage, she Reacted. The Teen Titans could only watch as Marinette jumped up and over Mumbo’s head, dragging his arm behind him in the process, before slamming her other fist into the small of his back and sending him onto his knees. As he tried to twist away, she kneed his wand out of his hand and twisted his other arm behind his back before he could cast another spell. Right before he could say some magic word and turn the tables on her, he was met with her head hitting the back of his and sending him unconscious immediately.

Problem handled, Marinette let go of him and backed off, dusting her hands off before letting loose a huge yawn.

She turned to leave when Cyborg’s hesitant voice Called out: “Uh, Ma’am? You should wait for the police. They’ll probably want your statement.”

Marinette blinked, and sighed as her shoulders dropped in dismay. “Oh yeah. I forgot I actually fought this time. Sorry,” she sighed again before adjusting her purse on her shoulder and obediently walking further inside the bank, leaning against the wall to wait. That was when Robin approached her, passing a few glances between her and the now-bound-up Mumbo.

"How did you- No, nevermind, I don't want to know, plausible deniability and all that,” he cut himself off mid-question, shaking his head. Marinette couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s nothing all that special, Monsieur Robin,” Marinette assured, still amused. “And I’ve seen you do far more impressive things, I’m hardly that good of a fighter. My Maman has a background in martial arts, her whole side of the family has a minor obsession with teaching the girls how to fight,” she admitted with a small shrug. “It’s how we bonded, growing up. Every weekend she’d spar with me and we’d spend the whole day just training, and my Papan would bring food in every now and then when he wanted us to take a break. We don’t do it as often now, my Maman says she’s getting a little too old to spar all the time, but I still practice on my own.”

The vigilante blinked, not knowing how to respond for a moment. It was then that Marinette noticed the entire team had been listening, the police having already arrived and taking Mumbo away in cuffs. She blushed a bit, coughing into her hand in embarrassment.

“A-Ah, well. I wouldn’t have interfered at all if I wasn’t so tired, I’m sorry if I got in your way,” she began to babble, the usual nerves that came with having so many eyes on her kicking in. “I tend to space out when I’m exhausted, and so I kinda forgot to react when Mumbo came in? I just spaced out, and I got distracted watching you guys fight so well, and then he tried to grab me and I just… kinda… reacted?” Her voice got faster and higher as she spoke, until she ended her babbling by making it sound like a question. “I promise I won’t make this habit or anything, it’s just been a long day!”

“You…” It was Beast Boy who spoke up, eyes wide. “Did that while you were exhausted?! Woah! I’ve never seen anyone other than Robin fight like that when they were tired!”

Marinette knew her face must have been completely red by then, because it felt like her head was on fire. “I-it’s really not a big deal!” She started waving her hands in Marinette Denial, shaking her head like crazy. “P-probably just a fluke or something! I’ll just give my statement and get out of your hair!” She didn’t wait for a response before fleeing to the police out of sheer humiliation, and giving them the world’s fastest statement. The Titans tried to get her attention as she left, but her face was still one giant, ripe tomato and she just speed walked right past them without a word.

She didn’t even notice that she was followed home, or that she had a team of heroes watching her for a while before they completed their background search and left back for their own home. Or that Robin cast a glance back at her apartment several times as they left, questions crossing his mind too fast to recall all of them.

It wasn’t until a week later that Marinette saw them again, this time when she was at the grocery store. She let her shoulders drop when she saw them talking to each other in the middle of a random aisle, debating over which brand of a product to buy. Once again, a small smile crossed over her lips and she walked on by, fully intent on leaving them be and enjoying the aura of calm that their presence always seemed to give her. It was as she was calmly debating over which kind of fruit would make the best filling for the danishes she wanted to make, that a hand tapped her shoulder. She hummed, tearing her eyes away from the blueberries and raspberries to turn around.

“Yes? Do you need—“ she cut herself off when she saw that the person who had tapped her shoulder was none other than Robin himself, with the rest of his team giving her friendly smiles over his shoulder. She blue screened for a moment before shaking her head, sending him a small, confused smile. “Is there something you need, Monsieur Robin?”

“As a matter of fact,” he ran a hand through his unfairly fluffy hair as he gave her a far too charming, lopsided grin. “I hope you don’t mind that I did some research on you and your family after we met last week—“ Marinette almost laughed when she saw how his teammates face-palmed behind him and quietly groaned about how much tact he lacked. “—and I realized why your movements seemed so familiar. Your mother wouldn’t happen to be from the Cheng family in Hong Kong, would she?”

Marinette immediately lost most of her embarrassment, snorting. “You’re the one who did my background check, you tell me,” she teased. The rest of the Titans seemed floored by the fact that she wasn’t at all annoyed, insulted, or creeped out. “But since you’re asking anyway, yes. The group of primarily female martial artists in Hong Kong, the Chengs, is run by my Aunt. Why?”

Robin’s smile grew. “Well, it just so happens that they have one of the only unique combat styles that my mentor— Batman, of course— was never able to learn.”

Marinette actually did laugh now, connecting the dots as to what he wanted to actually ask. “Ah, because they only accept male pupils if they are blood-relations, non? Let me guess,” she crossed her arms and popped one hip, giving him a smug little grin. “You want me to teach you?”

“We have the best training facilities you have ever seen,” he bribed, eyes practically shining at the prospect of training in a new style of combat.

“I don’t doubt it,” Marinette got a little dreamy eyed herself at the thought. “And Maman can’t spar with me anytime soon… why not? I’m not bound by the Cheng rules after all, nobody can get mad if I teach you. And it requires a lot of gymnastic ability, which you clearly already have. Just one question,” she turned, gesturing to the fruit behind her. “Do you prefer blueberry or raspberry? I’m trying out a new danish recipe and don’t know which to choose.”

She did not miss how, as she was walking out with a few new acquaintances by her side and a few cases of blueberries, Cyborg whispered to Beast Boy:

“I can’t believe Robin actually picked up a girl when he led with the ‘we did an extensive check on your family history’ schtick!”

—*—*—*—*—*

Slam! Marinette’s shin collided with Robin’s waist while they were both mid-air, sending the vigilante flying to the ground, tumbling until he could gain traction and stop himself. Marinette, on the other hand, landed on the padded floor of the training room nimbly.

“Not bad!” She praised. “You’re picking it all up really quickly!” Robin scoffed goodbye-naturedly, smirking as he stood up.

“If you didn’t restrict me to only using Cheng-style, I’d have won,” he boasted. Marinette’s eyes shone playfully at the challenge.

“Are you sure? I restricted myself to that style as well,” she teased. “It is the best way for you to learn, after all.”

As per usual, the rest of the Titans were nearby either doing their own training or snacking as they watched. Nobody left Marinette alone when she was at the Tower, which she understood. Apparently they had had someone betray them in the past, so she understood being cautious around her even if she had been teaching Robin twice a week for the past two months. Starfire floated up, flying over to tell them both about how much more exciting this spar had been than the last few, but the Tamaranean was interrupted when Marinette’s phone let out a loud alarm.

Being who they were, all the Titans stiffened and were immediately at alert. Marinette cursed softly, pulling out her phone to see—

“What’s an Akuma Alert?” Robin, ever the nosy idiot, asked. Marinette clenched her jaw. This was not good. It was only nine in the morning in Jump City, making it three in the morning back in Paris. Marinette had hoped he wouldn’t decide to have a late night attack when she was in Titan Tower and essentially trapped.

Marinette looked up from her phone, looking around as everyone’s gazes grew suspicious the longer she stayed silent. Until, finally, she sighed and silenced her phone. She began to speak even as she unzipped her purse to put it away.

“It’s an alert from Paris. I’m sorry, and I understand if you do not wish to see me after this, but I must go.”

“Go where? Paris?” Raven asked, sweeping up to stand next to Beat Boy. If this turned out to be another Terra situation, the boy would need support again. Terra had torn his heart out, and Beast Boy had finally allowed himself to like Marinette and get close to her as a friend. All of them had. “How?”

Marinette clenched her eyes shut, mourning the friendships she was sure she had just lost. Maybe she should stick to the opposite side of the city from then on, so they wouldn’t have to run into her again. With that plan in mind, she drew the magical pair of glasses out of her purse and put them on, making Kaalki materialize.

The Titans stiffened, and Marinette felt her heart shatter a little. But she still called on both of her transformations, and left to save Paris.

She did not go back to the Tower. When the battle was over, she just opened the returning portal straight to the alley outside her apartment and went back home to sob into her pillow. She couldn’t explain what was going on, wasn’t sure they would even want to listen. And she and Robin had been getting so close, too.

But Marinette would not stick around after keeping secrets. She was certain they hated her, anyway.

She went out of her way to avoid them, not even looking their way when they passed by her apartment— on purpose, she was sure. She did everything she could to avoid them. But one day, she couldn’t. She was in the middle of trying to lose them in the alleys on her way to go grocery shopping, when a wall of black cut her off, shadows moving to pile up dumpsters and block her escape. Marinette shrunk in on herself— so they were finally moving up to using their powers, huh?

She heard Starfire drop down to hover behind her next, then the sight of a green hawk landing on a balcony nearby gave away Beast Boy. Robin dropped down from a rooftop, and Cyborg pulled up in the T-Car to block the entrance of the alleyway.

“Marinette,” Robin started, but she shook her head and cut him off.

“Robin, I’m trying to stay out of you guys’s way. I get it, I kept secrets and that’s not cool, I’m not gonna interfere in your fights, you don’t have to worry about—“

“Friend Marinette, we are not angry,” Starfire spoke up, flying over to land next to her. She put a hand on Marinette’s shoulder. Her eyes widened, and the smaller girl gulped.

“You… aren't?”

“We hacked into Paris news and street cams after you left,” Cyborg admitted, crossing his arms before giving her a wide smile. “Why didn’t you just tell us you were one of Paris’s heroes? Did ya think we wouldn’t understand or something?” Marinette froze, and then her face grew red when realization set in.

“... Oh Kwami. I’m freaking out about heroes finding out my identity… as a hero…” she groaned as soon as she said it, her head falling into her hands as her friends laughed around her.

“Guess I don’t need that plausible deniability for the reasons I thought,” Robin joked, making Marinette glare at him.

“Don’t tease me, I’m too busy being mortified.”

“Too busy for me to offer you a room at the tower?” He asked, and Marinette looked up to berate him for continuing to tease her, only to stop and realize that his expression said he was completely serious. Her eyes widened in shock once again, and she opened and closed her mouth only for her voice to not work. Robin smiled, holding out one of his hands to her.

“Just for whenever you need a break. Judging by your reaction, your parents don’t know about Ladybug, right?” Marinettte winced at his words. She gave them a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of her neck.

“No, back when we lived in Paris it was way too risky for anyone to know, even them. And now that we’re in Jump City, it’s been so long that…” she shook her head. “I don’t think they’d take it well.”

“Because they don’t understand,” Raven guessed, earning a nod and a small smile from the Parisian girl.

“And that’s why we’re offering you a room,” Robin continued, crossing his arms and giving her a confident, relaxed smile. “A temporary one, for whenever you need to drop by and be around people who understand you a bit better. Now, everything outside of the bedroom itself will still heavily monitor you for a while, but—“

“That’s fine!” Marinette agreed easily, beaming happily. “I get it, trust isn’t something that is easy to earn especially when it’s already been broken before. But the offer itself is already extremely generous, thank you!” Marinette lunged forward, tackling Robin in a tight hug. He laughed, returning the embrace.

“Dogpile!” Beast Boy yelled, of course transforming into a giant Saint Bernard as he leapt to start a group hug. His huge, furry body slammed Marinette and Robin to the ground, making them groan in pain and annoyance before Starfire picked all three of them up and started her own crushing hug. Followed by Cyborg wrapping his hands around the pile of superhero on the opposite side, and Raven… just kinda floating over to slump on top of the ball of teenaged heroes in the laziest hug ever.

Marinette didn’t stop laughing until her sides hurt.

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette had become a constant presence at the Tower, and Ladybug had even become an occasional member of the Team. She was officially labeled as a reserve member of the Titans, since her duties in Paris came first. But she was fine with that. She didn’t want to draw Hawkmoth’s attention to Jump City after all, but the few and far-between appearances she made weren’t too odd. It had already been a year and a half of her new life in America, on one of the weekends where Marinette found herself sprawled against the couch scrolling through Instagram on her phone, that everything changed. She heard the elevator door open, and took only a second to narrow down who it could be.

First; Kori was visiting Tamaran and wouldn’t be back for at least another week. Victor was working on the T-car and probably wouldn’t come back up for a while. Rachel was meditating, as always, and Marinette could still feel the magic aura from the floor above that told her that she had not moved a muscle. Gar was taking a literal cat nap on the kitchen counter. Only Robin was unaccounted for, since he had gone to Gotham to visit Batman for some “top secret Bat business” and could come back at any moment.

Deduction done, Marinette felt herself smile unintentionally. Her and Robin had become immeasurably close, and she had been pining after him for almost— well, since she first started training him all that time ago. So she sat up, ready to go attack her best friend and major crush in a hug.

“Welcome ba— WHAT THE FUCK?!” Marinette tripped over thin air like she hardly did nowadays, floored by the sight in front of her. Robin was a stickler for his identity, though the rest of the Titans weren’t really. She had never seen him out of uniform, including mask, in the entire time she’d known him. Never heard his real name.

But here stood a boy her age, with extremely familiar fluffy hair and strong jaw. Who seemed extremely conflicted and distraught, in a black hoodie and sweatpants. It was the glimpse of red and yellow under the fully zipped-up hoodie and the slip of black fabric he held in one tightly curled fist that solidified exactly who this blue-eyed beauty was. Marinette swallowed, her throat suddenly dry.

Her yell had startled Garfield awake, who burst into his normal form and was staring at the scene equally wide- eyed. He made a few rapid gestures with his hands before choking out;

“I— I’m gonna… go see if Cy needs help,” before he scrambled away and into the elevator, flabbergasted. Robin didn’t say a word the whole time, just silently moving out of the way for the other boy.

Once Beast Boy was gone, the silence returned with stifling intensity. Marinette finally managed to clear her throat and get her thoughts in order.

“Are you okay?” She asked, because his well-being was more important than the fact that she was seeing his whole face for the first time. Because the fact that this was happening at all meant that something was probably very wrong. Just to make sure, she reached out with her Guardian abilities to read his aura— and yes, it was Robin. It couldn’t be anyone else.

But he didn’t look at all like their normally composed, erratic, confident leader. He looked like a young adult who had just had his world upturned and didn’t know how to manage it. He finally raised his eyes from the ground to meet her’s.

“... Batman got a new Robin… a while ago, apparently.”

Marinette sucked air through her teeth, grimacing. Yeah, that… that was a lot. “Come here,” she sat down and patted the couch next to her. “You clearly need to talk. We can even spar later if you want.”

He walked over, sighing and running a hand through his hair. “For once, I don’t think sparring will help. I mean yeah, I left Batman a long time ago because he wouldn’t take me seriously, but…”

Marinette understood. That was different than Batman giving his title to someone entirely new without even telling him. So she sat, and she listened as Robin explained all about his new adoptive brother, about the fight he had had with Bruce. Because apparently Batman was Bruce Wayne, but Marinette would shelve that headache for another day. At the end of it all, she hummed.

“Sounds like you need a new name then.”

“Mari,” Robin glared at her half heartedly. “That’s all you have to say? Really?”

“No,” she shrugged. “But I can’t keep calling you Robin, can I? But okay, you want me to be serious? It sounds like he was trying to do a good thing, getting Jason off the streets. Was he right to just give your moniker away with no warning? Of course not. But I don’t think he did it maliciously. If anything, I think this proves that Robin is a title for Batman’s sidekick to hold. And you’ve gotten way past that point in your life.”

“Well, for starters,” he said after a while. “My real name’s Dick.”

Marinette deadpanned at him, raising an eyebrow. “... I’m sorry, what?”

That got a snort out of him, and he smiled for the first time since he got back, running a hand through his hair again as he grinned at her. “Well, technically it’s Richard. Richard Grayson. But I prefer going by Dick.”

“Oh for the love of— good luck surviving Victor and Gar after you tell them that,” she warned, rubbing her temples at the mere thought of the chaos that was going to ensue. Rob— Dick— just laughed. But this time when he fell silent, Marinette didn’t immediately notice through her preemptive headache. But when she did, she looked up at him only to see him staring at her silently, an odd spark in his eyes. “What?”

“Well, if we’re admitting things and getting rid of secrets…” he started, leaning back a bit as his cheeks suddenly took on a pink tint. He cleared his throat, but met her eyes bravely. “I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while, Marinette. If, uh, if you want. To go out with me, I mean.”

Marinette sat there, out of order, for a moment as her brain refused to work. Dick panicked.

“I mean, I get it if you don’t. Dating in the team and all, probably not the smartest move ever. So I get it—“

“Shut up,” Marinette interrupted, her face entirely pink. “I just couldn’t talk for a sec. yes, Dick. A million times, yes I’ll go out with you. Holy crap how dare you catch me off guard like that you jerk,” she glared at him before the two of them broke, bursting into laughter and leaning on one another.

They had gone through a lot. If the others found them slumped against one another on the couch, asleep and still holding hands, well they deserved the rest after the day they’d had. Now whether or not they deserved the many photos that had been taken to be held as blackmail against them? That was up for debate.

—*—*—*—*—*

Part 2: The same prompt, but siblings this time

#maribat #ml x dc #mlb x dc #dickinette #3 from 1 challenge

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ushiwhore · 4 years ago

Text

Contentment pt.2

Tendou x Reader , Ushijima x Reader

Warnings: Curse Words. Angst -> Fluff.

Word Count: 6,828

Tendou isn’t an idiot, he can tell something has changed between you two. He can't pinpoint exactly what it is, but what he does know is that not having you around sucks. It also sucks to see you with someone else.

Read the first part: click me!

Getting over Tendou Satori was a tedious process. You couldn't hate him for not returning your feelings - that he was painfully unaware of - but you had to avoid him in order to allow yourself to focus on other things.

The first few weeks, it wasn't too hard to slip out of his sights and sneak off to your classroom or the library in order to avoid sitting with him, his girlfriend, and Wakatoshi.

You'd give some lame excuse as to why you couldn't stay long, and he'd nod, too focused on some story his girlfriend was telling them about the time she stole Y/N's crush and best friend away, something like that. Or well, that's all you heard whenever she opened her mouth.

It hurt seeing him disregard his bestest friend’s absences, preferring to give some girl who hesitated to enter a relationship with him more attention and care.

You wouldn't have hesitated, you dully noted as you walked off to your classroom, as had become routine.

It was today in particular that there was a change to said routine.

You sat at your desk, slowly eating your food due to lack of appetite. You were usually lost in thought, arguing with yourself on whether or not you should be avoiding Tendou like this. He was still your best friend after all, but you also needed time and space to heal. Heal from wounds he'd made unknowingly.

Your train of thought was interrupted when a tall figure took a seat at the desk beside yours. You looked up, a small smile melting onto your confused expression when you saw it was Wakatoshi.

"Toshi- Hi."

"Hi. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all- Did something happen?"

"I was getting kind of tired of listening to her talk about her personal problems."

You let out a small laugh at how blunt he was being. It was true. The girl tended to overshare. If you ever stayed for lunch, it sounded like she was reading out her autobiography.

"She just.. likes sharing stuff since she trusts us." You said softly, looking down at your food and picking at it. Your path to contentment meant supporting their relationship, and both of them individually.

"She can share it with Tendou then. Is it okay if we have lunch together from now on?"

You smiled at that, pleasantly surprised. "Of course, Toshi." As you watched him take out his own lunch, you let out a small sigh. "Sorry for making you pick."

His confused expression told you to continue, so you did. "Making you pick which friend you want to hang out with. Y'know, me or Satori. I just.. I want to support him, but I need to heal first. I promise you things will go back to normal once I know I've gotten over him for sure."

"It's fine. Plus, it's better to hang out with you. Satori's too focused on his girlfriend to pay me any attention."

As he should, you thought. He seemed to be a great boyfriend. Even if he wasn't your boyfriend.. he was still great. But then again - he should still pay attention to Toshi (and you). He shouldn’t have to pick between his lover and his friends. It was probably weird for Ushijima as well, not having Tendou around all the time. You understood how he felt, but decided not to voice any of this.

You both began to eat your food, enjoying the comfortable silence. The kind that eased your thoughts and allowed you to just breathe.

The silence would be broken here and there when you two would talk about your days or a particularly hard assignment a teacher had left. Or perhaps practice and the newest episode of the show you were watching. It all felt easier whenever Wakatoshi was around.

°•°•°•°•°

No matter how long it had been since the bathroom incident where you swear you had your awakening, it’s still so so so so difficult and exhausting.

Seeing him in the hallways or on your way to class was tough. It was tough cutting the conversation short. It was tough not talking to him about what happened on the latest episode of the show you two loved to watch on his couch/bed as you cuddled and ate snacks. Friendly cuddles, of course.

Sometimes, you'd find yourself thinking about how it felt whenever he'd have his arms wrapped around you, giving you the warmest cuddles. Whenever he let you borrow his sweaters because it was cold and he couldn't let his little Y/N get sick! Or whenever he would walk you to your dorm, hands intertwined and gently swinging back and forth. Study dates sessions where your eyelids would get too heavy and you’d rest your head on your textbook. Just for a few minutes, you’d say. And then you’d feel his fingers gently playing with your hair, massaging lightly and making you almost purr at the contact.

These thoughts were invasive, and they’d squeeze into your brain at the worst moments. Whether it was cold outside, you saw a couple walking down the street, or you saw him.

It all hurt so much. Your brain wouldn’t stop hurting you, no matter how hard you tried to forget. Sometimes, you’d be sitting at your desk, giving your phone the deadliest glare, waiting for the screen to light up with a message notification from him. But for a whole month, that message you yearned so badly never came.

Tendou’s absence in your day to day life was bittersweet. It was sweet since it meant that you didn’t have to see him or his girlfriend together, it meant allowing yourself to heal and get over him. However, it was also bitter since that man was your BEST FRIEND. He was such a huge part of your days. It felt weird not hanging out even for a few minutes.

He was happy though, if his social medias were anything to go by. She made him happy, and that’s all that mattered. A small sigh escaped past your lips as you scrolled past yet another post of them on their 5th date of the week. You scrolled back up after a few moments. Zooming in, you could see how genuinely happy he looked.

That’s the smile I love so much. She's putting that smile on his face. They are happy. Although it takes a few more moments to process, it still has a wonderful feeling settling on your chest. Contentment.

Seeing them together makes those thoughts go away. Makes you stop missing his embrace because.. it just feels wrong. To crave a man’s touch, especially one who does not belong to you. Seeing Tendou with someone else feels like a cold bucket of water thrown at you. It’s sobering. Makes moving on just a tiny little bit easier.

°•°•°•°•°

If you want to heal, don’t just stay cooped up in your room. Go out and get some fresh air, have fun.

That’s what Wakatoshi told you during one of your many shared lunches.

Ushijima was trying his best to squeeze you into his schedule, even if you were both often busy. He had practices, and you had work.

But whenever you two had a day off, you’d meet up and go see a movie, or go eat at this new restaurant you both wanted to try. Or just meet up to talk.

Not only did it help get your mind off Tendou Satori, but it was also quite fun to be around Wakatoshi.

“Why are you doing this?” You asked absentmindedly, and quite bluntly, as you watched him buy some snacks for you two.

“Why am I doing what?”

“Hanging out with me so much. Is it.. are you trying to help me get my mind off of him?”

He turned around, handing you a few snacks before shrugging. “I like hanging out with you. Thought we were having fun. But well, yeah, I am.”

A small blush creeped onto your cheeks as you took the snacks. “I like hanging out with you too.. but thank you Toshi. It really is working, and I’m.. I’m really thankful for your help.”

He smiled a bit at that, reaching over and softly patting your head. The simplest touch, yet it still had shivers running down your spine.

“I’m glad I could be of help. I just want to see you back to your cheerful self.”

“Thanks again, Toshi.” You didn’t hesitate to pull him in for a hug. He was so warm, and he made you feel so safe.

A small ‘oof’ escaped his lips from the sudden pull, pleasantly surprised by this. Though it took a few seconds, he still managed to hug back.

It’s a shame though. A real shame. Maybe if your face hadn’t been buried in his chest, you would’ve seen the prettiest blush take over his features.

°•°•°•°•°

“How are you feeling?”

His deep voice brought you back into reality. You two had been studying together in the library after classes since you both had the day off.

“Really good, actually. I’m finally understanding these problems. This much knowledge is making my head hurt though.”

“We should stop here for today then, since we’ve basically caught up on all assignments.” He paused after closing his textbook, “I wasn’t talking about the homework though.”

You tilted your head a bit, giving him a confused look as you put your books away as well before realizing what he meant. He was asking how you were feeling in regards to Tendou and the whole moving on thing. It made you feel warm inside, that he cared enough to check in and make sure you were okay.

It made you all mushy inside because you knew he wasn’t the best at talking about feelings/emotional things. He was getting out of his comfort zone for you.

“Oh - Well.. I’m feeling really good about that too, actually. All thanks to you, Toshi.” You gently nudged him with your arm as you stood up and put your backpack on.

“I’m glad you’re doing well, Y/N. You deserve happiness.”

His kind words always managed to make you get all emotional, because well - it was coming from the one and only Wakatoshi.

“You deserve happiness too, Toshi.” You said as you waited for him to stand as well. “How are you feeling?”

He stood, putting his backpack on before walking over to where you were. His lips curved into a tiny smile.

“I’m feeling really good too.”

It wasn’t hard, at all, to return the smile. You stood smiling at each other for a few more seconds before he finally lead the way over to your dorms.

It wasn’t unusual for him to walk you back to your dorm whenever he could. Those walks would usually include a lot of small talk or comforting silence.

This walk wasn't any different. When you two finally made it to your door, you turned to look at him. “Thanks again, Toshi. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You smiled before waving and unlocking your door.

“Ah, Y/N.” He called out, making you turn to look at him. “I was actually wondering.. or well. We have a game coming up. Would you perhaps want to come?”

Funny story, actually. Throughout your friendship with Tendou, you surprisingly hadn't gone to that many volleyball games. It was inconvenient, but your boss seemed to always have you scheduled whenever he had a game. Of course, you’d been to a few, but usually could never make it. You’d cheer for him all the way from work.

“When is it?”

“In two days.”

You simply nodded, “I’ll have to check my schedule.. but I’ll let you know, Toshi. Thank you for inviting me.”

After you closed the door, you immediately grabbed your phone and texted your manager. They were always giving you weird, rarely consistent schedules, so you never knew what to expect. However, you’d try your best to attend. Your screen lit up with the notification that told you you’d be busy in two days.

You frowned, but quickly replaced it with a witty smile. You’d try to convince them to give you the day off once you got to work tomorrow. After all, they weren’t irrational or assholes. They would be understanding, or so you hoped.

°•°•°•°•°

You never told Wakatoshi whether or not you’d be able to come to his game, mainly because you weren’t really sure.

However, it had taken just a tiny little bit of begging for them to give you the day off. You were a hard worker and they really did appreciate you, so giving you that day off didn't hurt them or their business nearly as much as you’d thought.

Now, you were walking into the gym where they’d be playing their match today. You felt quite excited, to be honest, since this was the first game of theirs you’d seen in a while. To no surprise, the crowd was huge, ranging from Shiratorizawa’s cheerleaders to the school’s band as well, along with a lot of students who were beaming with pride.

It was an atmosphere that hyped almost everyone up, except the team they were playing, of course. You imagined it would be quite intimidating to hear hundreds of people cheering for Shiratorizawa while trying to serve, or doing warmups.

Both teams were already doing their warm ups, so you focused on finding yourself a seat. It wasn’t long before your eyes landed on Tendou’s personal cheerleader. You flinched a bit as you heard her call out your name. You had secretly been hoping that you’d slip out of her sight and just get to sit elsewhere. That clearly wasn’t an option anymore.

A small sigh escaped your lips as you walked over to where she was sitting. You watched as she scoot over, patting the now empty space. You took a seat and gave her a small smile. “Hi.”

“Hi! I didn't know you were coming.” Your eyes immediately fell to the sweater she had on. Tendou’s.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t sure if I’d make it.” You said, unable to take your eyes off the sweater. She must’ve noticed because she gently pat the spot you were glaring staring at.

“Ah, Tendou gave it to me since I was cold. He's such a sweetheart. But well, it’s nice to have someone else to watch the game with.” She said with a small smile. You let out a small laugh and nodded in agreement. She was about to start talking when you heard a familiar voice approaching.

“Y/N????”

You couldn’t help but freeze. Of course he’d be here, he was in the team as well. You slowly turned to look at Tendou. His eyes were wide and he had the biggest smile on his face. It must be surprising to see your best friend at one of your games, you thought, especially after not talking to them for over a month.

“You actually came to one of my games? Awesome! You came to cheer me on, didn't you? How lucky am I?!” He let out a happy laugh, as he finally stood in front of the two of you. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

How does one explain that you were here because Ushijima had invited you, and not because you wanted to see Tendou. Without being rude, of course.

Before you had the chance to respond, Ushijima appeared behind him with a small smile.

“Y/N. You made it after all.”

You smiled back, “I did. Sorry for not telling you sooner. Thought it’d be nice to surprise you.”

A confused look took over Tendou’s face, but it didn’t take long for him to understand what was going on. You weren't there to see him. You’d come to see Wakatoshi.

As you smiled at Toshi, you could feel Tendou’s gaze burning a hole into you, and tried your best to ignore it, turning to him and giving him a small smile instead.

His gaze didn’t falter, but he did smile back. Ushijima gently pat his back, “Let’s get back to warm ups.”

He nodded, “It’s nice seeing you again, Y/N.” He said before giving his girlfriend’s hand a small squeeze and jogging after Ushijima. You bit at your lower lip, unable to stop thinking of the deadly gaze Tendou had been staring at you with. Was he upset? I mean - that would make sense. He probably felt like a clown since he had assumed you were there to see him. That made you let out a small laugh, basking in the fact that Tendou might feel the way you’ve felt for months! A clown, a whole circus.

Of course, it hurt seeing his confused expression replace his usually happy expressions, but it also made you feel better. It was bittersweet. It was a taste of his own medicine. It was--

“So.. you and Ushijima, eh?”

You blinked, staring at the girl that sat beside you. “What?”

“Oh, y’know. Are you guys a thing?”

Before you could even comment on that absurd thought - it was absurd because you hadn’t even thought of Toshi in that way - she was already speaking, basically thinking out loud.

“I mean, that would make a lot of sense.. you stop hanging out with us, and suddenly so does Ushijima? Aww, you two must be spending lunches together~ How cute.”

Your mouth kept opening and closing, unable to form a single word. She took your silence as a sign to keep talking.

“Also, you came to the game to watch and support him, eh? It’s like.. I’m Satori’s personal cheerleader and you’re Ushijima’s cheerleader!” She said with a huge smile on her face.

You.. dating Toshi? The thought had never crossed your mind. But now that the possibility had been presented to you, you knew you’d be thinking about it tonight as you lay in bed.

“I-I’m not..” you still couldn’t form a proper sentence. “We’re not..”

“It’s okay! I won’t tell Tendou.. I’m guessing that’s why you also stopped spending lunches with us? A secret relationship.. don’t want to hurt your best friend by dating one of your mutual friends. Your secret is safe with me. I get it!”

No you fucking don’t, you wish you could say that, but you were still too stunned to even speak. You cleared your throat, attempting to explain but she was already looking over at the court, cheering for Tendou Satori as the teams walked out and lined up.

He deserved that type of support, he deserved someone who could actually be out here for all his games. Not someone who would send little encouraging messages before their shift. Messages that probably did nothing to hype him up. No, he needed someone to be out here, screaming his name and cheering as loud as they could.

You closed your eyes for a few seconds, trying your best to stop these negative thoughts from affecting the rest of your night. Once you had opened your eyes, you looked for Toshi, wanting to shout out your own words of encouragements.

°•°•°•°•°

The match had been a rollercoaster of emotions. It hadn’t been the typical Shiratorizawa match, where they had crushed their opponent. They had actually put up a fight up until the very end. But their effort hadn’t paid off since Shiratorizawa took the win in the end anyway.

It had also been quite stressful since you could feel two different pair of eyes on you, and they both made you feel different emotions.

Whenever Wakatoshi’s eyes were on you, you’d smile and wave, trying your best to cheer him on. Your thoughts would always go back to the conversation with Tendou’s girlfriend. Whenever Tendou’s eyes were on you, you felt guilt and goosebumps, but also really giddy. It was all so confusing, and you felt so much happiness once the match finally ended.

When the crowds began to exit the building and it was okay for you to approach the team, you walked over to Ushijima and Tendou with his girlfriend.

“Congrats Satori!! You did amazing, baby!!” She happily wrapped her arms around him as she jumped up and down. You stared for a few seconds before his eyes met yours, making you look away.

“Congratulations, Toshi. It was so entertaining seeing you out there in your element, you did really good!” You smiled, before looking over at Tendou again, who still had his eyes on you, no longer hugging his girlfriend.

“..and Congrats to you too, Tendou. It was nice to finally see you out there again.”

He smiled softly at your words, opening his arms and pulling you into a quick hug.

There it was. The touch you had craved so much. You hugged back for a bit but pulled away soon after, smiling back at him before turning to Wakatoshi.

"Shall we head back to the dorms now?"

He gave you a small smile, nodding. The exhaustion was clear now that he was up close, but he still managed to look so pretty.

You broke away your gaze and walked outside with Wakatoshi, Tendou and his girlfriend following. As soon as you stepped outside, you couldn't help but shiver at the strong wind that hit all of you, welcoming you back to reality.

It was quite clear that you were cold, and Wakatoshi didn't hesitate to take off his sweater and drape it around you. The heat that rushed to your cheeks, along with his sweater, seemed to warm you up instantly.

Your eyes met Tendou's girlfriend's gaze, and she simply smiled, her eyes screaming I TOLD YOU SO, YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME.

That conversation had honestly messed you up. You were now hyper aware of everything Toshi did whenever he was around you. Any kind acts he did, such as this one, had you burning up at a concerning speed.

"Thank you, Toshi.." you said, looking down and gladly wrapping his sweater around you to take in all the warmth. It smelled like him too, and that oddly helped you calm down even more.

Throughout all of this, Tendou simply stood and stared, so confused as to when exactly you and Ushijima had gotten this close. Since when did you wear his sweaters? Since when did you ever go to volleyball games instead of going to work? Since when did Y/N and Ushijima ever talk like this? It was all too much to take in. Especially when you two excused yourself, and Ushijima was walking you to your dorm.

"Aren't they cute?" His girlfriend said with a soft hum as they both watched you walk away.

"Huh? Who?"

"Y/N and Ushijima, silly. Who else?"

"Oh."

"Ah. Walk me home, silly boy! It's getting cold."

It indeed was getting cold. He blamed the cold weather on the fact that his joints felt stiff, and he felt this random pain in his chest at the sight. He'd felt that pain earlier when he found out you weren't there to see him.

Had it really been that long since you two had talked? Had it been long enough for you to find a replacement for him? Ushijima, of all people?

You two were doing the things Tendou used to do with you. You would wear his sweater, you would make an effort to come to his games. That was something you two did. That was-

He felt a small hand intertwine with his and lead him away from the gym, and towards the girl dorms. Much to think about. He knew he had new material to overthink about tonight.

°•°•°•°•°

You were laying down on your bed with Wakatoshi's sweater wrapped around you, eyes closed as you thought about everything that had happened over the past month. Conversations you'd had with certain people.

Ushijima Wakatoshi. A sweetheart who had been there for you to comfort you and cheer you up while you cried over Tendou Satori. Your best friend who had a girlfriend and clearly did not return your feelings.

Ushijima Wakatoshi. A friend, that you were perhaps starting to see as more than just a friend. Screw Tendou's girlfriend for getting the stupid idea into your head in the first place. It had been a week since that conversation, yet you couldn't stop thinking about the What Ifs.

No matter how much you thought of Wakatoshi, you couldn't help but worry that this was a distraction in order to pretend you didn't have feelings for Tendou anymore. You were sure you did. A crush on Tendou Satori isn't something you get over so fast. But you perhaps also had feelings for Ushijima.

The thought alone made you blush and bury your face into his sweater, taking in the wonderful scent that was Ushijima Wakatoshi.

It took a few more outings for you to confirm your feelings for Wakatoshi. Ranging from having lunch or dinner with him, to spending time at each other's dorms and just doing domestic things together. It all reassured you that he wasn't a rebound and that you weren't using him to get over Tendou.

There was one last step to contentment. Not feeling bitterness, but rather happiness when seeing Tendou, with or without his girlfriend.

One day in particular, you watched as he walked her to her dorm, hand in hand, smiling happily with each other. There was a small smile on your lips at the sight. And the only emotion other than happiness was sadness. You missed Tendou. As your best friend. Not as a love interest. You missed your best friend.

You figured you'd get him back soon, since you had finally gotten over him, and now had your eyes set on someone else, Toshi.

Your heart began to beat just a little faster at the thought alone. But it began to beat faster at the thought of having Tendou back in your life as well. Everything is going to fall back into place. Soon.

°•°•°•°•°

Although you had been hit with yet another awakening moment, you still hadn't reached out to Tendou. And much to your dismay, neither had he. Which made it just a little bit easier to not feel guilty.

In regards to your newfound feelings towards Ushijima, you hadn't done anything about it, yet. You had been waiting for the right moment.

You were currently at his dorm, sat on his bed listening to him rant about how Goshiki had taken his desire to be like him a little too far. Apparently the first year had been trying to beat out Toshi's spikes, and ended up hurting himself in the process. You let out a small laugh as Toshi playfully rolled his eyes at the memory.

"The kid thinks you're perfect. Isn't it kind of flattering that he wants to be like you so much? You're his role model, Toshi." You hummed, quietly admiring as he seemed to be deep in thought.

"Well, it is flattering, but I don't want him to get hurt in the process. He can't be an ace if his wrist is sprained."

"You make a valid point, Toshi." You continued to quietly stare, and it didn't take long before his eyes were on you as well. He raised an eyebrow when you didn't look away, and you simply chuckled.

"What-? Do I have something on my face or..?"

He was gently patting around his mouth and cheeks, trying to feel around for anything.

The action made your lower your gaze to look at his lips. This didn't slip past him, but now he was painfully aware that the atmosphere was.. different.

It had been this way for a week or so, and it always sent shivers down his spine whenever things got too tense, unable to really do anything about it in fear of scaring you away.

You quietly stared at his lips, naturally a cute shade of pink. Once you tore your gaze away, you found him staring at you, gaze just as intense as your own. You gulped, suddenly starting to feel rather shy.

You sat up properly, now sitting directly in front of him. He didn't move away or anything, that was a good sign. You gently cupped his cheek, caressing it gently, another quick check for consent. It was now that you finally noticed the pretty blush that covered his cheeks. It was a sight you wished you got to see more often.

Maybe now you would.

With a bit of hesitation, you leaned in. It didn't take long for him to meet you halfway. Once you were actually kissing, it felt like a huge weight had been taken off your shoulders. It felt like finally letting out a breath you had been holding. His lips were soft, just slightly chapped, and the kiss was nice and slow. You were both trying to figure out what the other liked.

It wasn't long until you felt his hand on your waist, asking if he could bring you closer, which you gladly obliged with. The kiss slowly became more and more intense. You could feel the longing as he pressed against your lips with his own, maybe he did feel the same after all. No shit.

Kisses with Ushijima were soft, slow, yet passionate. They could also be intense, messy, and could cause a pool to form down there. They could also be interrupted by a tall redhead that wanted to ask his dormmate for some help with a certain friend. Wait what-?

You pulled away as soon as you heard the familiar voice, quietly trying to catch your breath, and trying not to freak the fuck out.

"Ushi I need- what the fuck?? Y/N???"

Toshi wiped at his lips and chin to seem more presentable, also looking over at you to make sure you were okay. You couldn't meet his gaze, extremely embarrassed and you couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I'm sorry, Satori. I should've locked the door." Toshi said, as if walking in on your friends making out was something that was completely normal and happened at least twice a week.

"I'm- since when the fuck were you guys a thing? Y/N what the fuck? Seriously? I-" he couldn't even form a proper sentence, too stunned by what he'd just seen. But most importantly, it hurt. It hurt so much and he didn't even know why. Though he might have an idea.. but it wasn't exactly pleasant.

".. I'll let you two talk?" Wakatoshi said as he stood, you hesitantly reached for his hand, not sure if you could face him yet, but his eyes gave you all the reassurance you needed, so you let go of his hand, watching as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaving you alone with Tendou.

Neither of you spoke at first, but it didn't take long for Tendou's curiosity to force him to speak. "Since when?"

"Since when what?"

"Since.. since when were you guys a thing?"

You didn't know. Since a few minutes ago, you supposed. "This is the first time I kiss him. I'm not sure.."

"Why have you been avoiding me?" His tone sounded so hurt, but you didn't dare to look up at him. You were hurting too. He hadn't reached out to you either.

"It's not like you tried to reach out to me either. I figured you were too busy with your girlfriend to want to interact with me."

"I could say the same thing about you. You're too busy kissing Toshi's ass to even talk to me. You think I don't see you avoid me in the hallways? Don't think I see you slipping away from my grasp, sneaking off to classrooms so you don't have to hang out with me?"

"Then if you saw it all happen, why the fuck didn't you do anything about it?"

You finally looked up, anger in your tone, but tears were threatening to spill and leaving a stinging sensation in your eyes. He seemed at a loss for words, and he hesitated before responding.

"I.. I don't know." He admitted, feeling his own eyes welling up with tears. "Fuck. I don't know, Y/N." His fists were clenched out of frustration. He didn't know why he was so angry, he knew he was at fault too. It wasn't just you.

"Me neither, Tendou." Your plain response made him fume even more.

"Why didn't you tell me you were into Ushijima? Why'd you have to distance yourself? I wouldn't have hated you for it. Why did you have to put our friendship at stake, Y/N? Do you know how long its been since I've had a proper fucking conversation with you?"

He was ranting at this point, breathless as he made accusation after accusation.

"I didn't like him before. This is all new to me, Tendou. I didn't mean to put our friendship at stake. I just couldn't fucking stand hanging out with you when.. when she was around."

Your response caught him off guard. He stared at you incredulously. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

It was embarrassing, having to admit your feelings, but you had already let it slip out.

"Y/N? What the hell?"

"I liked you, Tendou. When you asked me to help you get with her, I liked you. And it hurt so much, but it didn't matter that I was hurting because I knew if you got the girl, you'd be happy. That's all I wanted. But once you actually got the girl, it hurt too much. Watching you do with her what you did with me. Watching you kiss her and hold her hand. I couldn't stick around to watch it without slowly falling apart myself."

Letting it all out had you feeling like another weight was slowly being taken off you shoulders. He looked so confused, taken aback by the new revelation of your feelings, something that had been unknown to him for multiple months now.

Knowing you felt that way towards him made his chest hurt. It made him feel extreme guilt for making you play along. But it also made him love you even more, because you'd done all that just because you knew he'd be happy in the end.

He resonated heavily with how you felt, watching him do what you two used to do, but now with his girlfriend. He had felt that when he watched you and Ushijima slowly getting closer, and now actually sharing a kiss.

"That's why I distanced myself. Because if I didn't, I'd break, Tendou. It hurt so much. But.. I finally got better. I'm finally getting better. Wakatoshi was there for me, he taught me how to get over you and heal from my unrequited feelings."

"Y/N I'm so sorry."

"Let me finish Tendou.. please." He simply nodded, no longer able to hold back any of his tears as he listened to you talk. You weren't able to hold them back either.

"I used to find it difficult to see you with her, but now I feel genuine happiness. It makes me happy that you're happy with her. And.. I miss you, Tendou. Not as a love interest, but as my best friend. I miss you so fucking much."

A sob escaped your lips at the confession, you tried to stop but you couldn't. You had finally let it all out. You felt a strong pair of arms wrap around you, and you recognized that embrace to belong to your best friend.

You were both sobbing now as you held each other tightly. Both for different reasons. You were afraid of losing him because of everything you'd just confessed, which explained the tight grip you had on him. The tight grip he had on you could be explained as a fear of losing you too, or more like the realization that he'd lost you before he even had you.

His feelings for you, that he was painfully unaware of prior to a few weeks ago, had grown only to be crushed by the realization that he was too late. You had actually moved on now. He'd lost his chance with you, but it didn't have to all end. He missed you too. So much. And though he was sure he had romantic feelings towards you, he knew it also was heavily driven by jealousy and fear of losing you to Wakatoshi.

But a new revelation, the revelation that you didn't have to pick and neither did he, gave him hope for your friendship.

"I missed you too.. so much, Y/N. I'm so sorry for being such a shitty friend. Please forgive me. I love you so so so much. Please.." he sobbed quietly as he held you. You simply nodded, unable to speak without your voice shaking and being interrupted by sobs.

"I.. I forgive you, Satori. Please forgive me too? I could've definitely handled things better.."

He shook his head, hating the fact that you still felt guilty. "You did nothing wrong, Y/N. But I forgive you. As long as you forgive me, and you tell me that we'll be okay. That I won't lose you because of this."

"You won't ever lose me, Satori. You're stuck with me forever, remember?"

He smiled at that, eyes welling with tears all over again. "You're stuck with me forever too. You're not getting rid of me so easily."

That made you laugh as you hugged him even tighter. "I wasn't planning on it."

Your shoulders had been freed of any excess weight that had been putting you down over the past few months. You had finally reached Contentment. For real this time.

You were able to stare at Tendou and feel only platonic love for him. You were happy for him and his girlfriend, who clearly made him happy. You were happy with someone else now. Someone who had been there for you for the longest without you even realizing it. Someone who deserved the world and the stars, and you'd be willing to provide it for him.

You had your best friend back, you had told him the truth. There was no secrets or any grudges held towards each other. And you had a lover now.

Contentment. This is what it really felt like.

°•°•°•°•°

You were sat back at the lunch tables where this had all started. Ushijima at your side, and your best friend across from you with his girlfriend.

Happiness, is the only thing you felt as you leaned your head against Toshi's shoulder and laughed at a story Tendou was telling, his girlfriend adding in commentary here and there that only added to the humor of the whole story.

She was lovely, and so pleasant to be around. You figured it was your jealousy that had made her seem so unpleasant back then. But now all you felt was euphoria. You had everything you could've ever wanted.

You had Tendou back, you had a new friend that you could talk about almost anything with, and you had Toshi.

Your life was filled with the same jokes, the same hugs and nights where you'd binge watch multiple seasons at once, accompanied by your best friend and multiple snacks. Full of a happy Tendou that you got to support more often now.

Your life was filled with a familiar face in different classes, someone you could talk with about anything. Full of a supportive girlfriend, perfect for your best friend. It sucked that it had taken you so long to realize that.

Your life was filled with a loving companion. Soft kisses, the warmest cuddles, the most attentive and caring boyfriend. Full of hand holding, sweaters, hugs, and support. You couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend. Wakatoshi was literally perfect.

Life was bliss.

It was obvious for Tendou that you were happy now. He watched as you laughed at his jokes, an overwhelming feeling of pride flowing through his chest. He watched with a small smile as Toshi gently cupped your cheeks and pressed the softest kiss onto your lips. Watched as your eyes fluttered shut and the blush invaded your cheeks. Watched as the electricity flowed through you, the attraction between you two quite obvious for anyone nearby.

He might have been late to realize his own feelings for you, but the only thing that mattered now was that you were happy with how everything had ended. And he was happy too. He had an amazing girlfriend, and two amazing best friends that were happy together.

Maybe in the next life, if there was any, he'd meet you again and he'd realize his feelings sooner. Maybe in the next life, he'd have an actual chance with you. But for now, in this life, he'd be happy just being your friend.

Contentment.

A state of contentment has finally been reached by both parties. This is what contentment really feels like.

A/N: Hello!! Okay first of all.. this is really long, I’m so sorry- I got carried away. Second of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the support I received in the first part. I didn't expect all that support (if any, really) SO thank you again <3 Third of all, it took me so long to put this out because I read this Tendou x reader fic and I felt so guilty because poor baby Tendou deserves love and I’m going out of my way to write angst?? It didn’t sit right with me. But here you go! I really hope everyone (especially those who asked for a part 2, I hope I didn’t disappoint) liked this! Thanks again for all the support.

Taglist: @missalienqueen (I’m SO sorry lmao I LIED about Tendou fluffy ending kinda </3 forgive me. @nim-rose !! These are the people who asked me personally to tag them, so if you’d like to be tagged next time, just let me know!

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phantomwarrior12 · 4 years ago

Text

Dire Need (Ch. 2)

Chapter 1 (Desperation)

When she opens her eyes, the sun is just beginning to creep through the shattered window. For a moment, she forgets where she is, but the firm chest against her cheek swiftly reminds her who she's with.

He's so much more comfortable than sleeping on the ground.

His arms are wound around her, cradling her close as his head is propped against hers. She doesn't dare move for fear of waking him, but some part of her longs to look up. He still has his helmet on, but it's...a comfort, of sorts, to see it above her. He's sleeping so soundly and she rues the moment she'll have to wake him - or perhaps her Ghost will do that for her.

He rams against her shoulder, pointed edge jabbing between her pauldron and chest plate.

"Rise and shine, Guardian! We need to go!"

"What's going on?" Lord Shaxx mumbles softly, slowly lifting his head from hers and she tries to hide her disappointment as she sits a little more upright, cuddling up against his chest, head tucked under his chin as his arms tighten around her and hold her close.

"We need to get going before the Cabal figure out we're hiding out here." Ghost advises.

She wishes he were wrong and she could stay curled up in her Titan's arms. He's so warm and for a moment, she forgets they're on the ground in an abandoned building without their Light - wait. He's still injured, isn't he?

He's still injured!

She jerks back quickly, startling Lord Shaxx as her eyes search his torso for any blood.

"Guardian, what's wrong?"

She gestures to his ribs in a panic, remembering his Ghost had mentioned there being something about cracked ribs. Why hadn't she remembered that last night? Surely that would be the first thing she'd recall before she slept on him. Oh Traveler, no. She might have made things worse.

"Settle down, my little Hunter." His hands firmly rest on either one of her shoulders to hold her in place, forcing her gaze to his features. "I'm alright. You didn't hurt me, Guardian. I promise."

She nods shakily, gaze darting back to his torso before leaning forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him as tightly as she dares. He locks a firm arm around her lower back, his other hand rubbing back and forth between her shoulder blades to soothe her.

She can't lose him.

It's as of he can hear what she's thinking because he gives her a squeeze, adjusting his head so his chin rests atop her shoulder, leaning his head against hers, "It will take more than a building to extinguish my Light, my little Hunter. I'm not going anywhere."

Her fingers ball into fists around the fur along the back of his neck, pressing just a bit closer to his frame as if to affirm that he better not.

"Well...we should probably go somewhere that isn't here." Ghost interjects awkwardly and his Guardian can't help her smile.

"He is right. Do you think you'll let me stand this time?" Shaxx teases the Young Wolf gently as she sits back on her heels.

If she weren't wearing her helmet, she'd give him a chiding look. But she settles for the lightest of punches - more so just pressing her fist against his shoulder with a fraction of a push - in response. She gets to her feet, picking her cloak up off of his lap and securing it in place before she offers him her hand.

"I am not made of glass. Next time, punch like you mean it." He chuckles, taking her hand and allows her to try and help him to his feet - the attempt is in vain. It is no small task to get a Titan up off the ground when they've been severely injured. She grips his hand tightly, trying to pull him up but when it has no effect and it's clear that Lord Shaxx lacks the physical capacity to get to his feet on his own. She moves to his side and kneels down, slinging his arm over her shoulders and grips his wrist tightly as her other arm locks around his waist.

"Perhaps you should just go get some help?" Shaxx suggests, concern building in his voice.

"There isn't any time," her Ghost argues. "Are you ready, Guardian?"

She nods solemnly as she glares straight ahead and braces herself.

"On three," Ghost supplies, more than aware that his Guardian would never leave Shaxx behind, even with the intent of returning. "One...two..three!"

The Young Wolf strains, her quads and calves burning and screaming in protest beneath the weight. She recalls a similar struggle to lift his unconscious frame inside this building the night before. Though, it's not as though she's doing it without any assistance this time. Shaxx is pushing up with his other arm, trying to engage any of his stiffened muscles until, at last, he's upright, leaning on her as he clutches at his ribcage with a soft cry of pain.

Her legs are trembling but she sets her jaw as she looks up at him.

"I'm alright. Just--"

"Take a moment," his Ghost orders firmly.

"We need to leave," Shaxx protests until the Young Wolf leans her head against his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

She nods, catching her breath from the exertion, fingers flexing and easing their hold on his frame for a fraction of a second. In truth, she's ready to collapse. She's so tired, everything feels wrong, so very wrong without her Light.

But she won't tell him that. He has enough to concern himself with - primarily staying alive and not succumbing to any injuries they've missed. Instead, she straightens up, tucking closer to his side to offer more support and guides him toward the door.

He falls silent, only the occasional grunt and huff coming from the towering Titan - the very same sounds she'd been begging for the night before. It's comforting, in a way. He's alive. He's right here. She listened to his heartbeat all night, clung to him as though he were life itself.

They'll be alright, so long as he stays alive.

The trek through the city ruins is long and feels as though it lasts an eternity. Lord Shaxx is in no condition to travel, but they don't have a choice. With the Young Wolf bracing his every step, the two Guardians' Ghosts are relegated to scouting duty. There are still Cabal patrols in the region and there is nothing stealthy about the way they're moving through the streets.

He needs to take a break, she knows that. He hasn't complained but his breathing has become increasingly labored. In all honesty, she could use a break herself, her own injuries aggravated from supporting the Titan. But they can't rest - not until they're outside the city, they'll be safe there...at least, it's what she tells herself.

So when they cross that final border, stepping through the gate of the crumbling walls, she almost smiles. They're in the clear, at least for a little while. Now, now they find somewhere to rest and she'll search for something for them to eat. She's a Hunter, after all. Scavenging for food comes with the territory.

She's jolted from her thoughts when Shaxx stumbles, lurching forward with enough force that he takes both of them down to their knees. He barely braces himself with a hand pressed firmly into earth as the other curls tightly around her pauldron.

Her knees scream in protest from the abrupt collision but she ignores it as she readjusts, looking over to him immediately. He'd tripped over a rock in his exhaustion, she doesn't blame him in the slightest but what does concern her is the fact he hasn't spoken since they fell. She readjusts her footing, one leg poised in a tucked position against her chest to give her some semblance of stability as she gingerly removes his hand from around her shoulders.

She shifts to sit in front of him, hands cupping the sides of his helmet as she carefully tilts his head up. His chest is heaving, his arms trembling as they struggle to keep him upright.

"I'm alright, Guardian," he manages after a moment, pulling away from her touch to sit back on his heels.

He's not alright. She can see the fabric along his side slowly staining a deep shade of crimson. She needs to get him to cover so she can dress his wounds or he won't last out here. Forcing down the unsettled burn in her chest, her gaze scans the area, finally settling on a cave further into the forest and she gestures toward it.

His eyes follow the movement and clearly, he catches on. "Just a bit further?" He sounds like he's trying to make a joke, though the strain in his voice eliminates any semblance of comedy. He sounds exhausted and in agony all at once. She's never heard his voice waver and crack like it does on that last word.

Oh, Shaxx...

She offers what she can for reassurance: a solitary nod and a subtle tilt to her head. He takes a deep, wavering breath before lifting his arm and she settles at his side once more.

There's an unspoken countdown before they're struggling to their feet. She can't keep doing this. She'll let him rest in the cave for tonight.

Night.

Her eyes lift to the sky and sure enough, the sun is setting. Moving through the city must have taken longer than she thought. They made good time once they were beyond the walls but it's still later than she'd like. More miles between them and the city would be ideal but there's no chance they'll make it much further than this cave in their current state.

Shaxx needs to rest. She needs to tend to his injuries. Hell, she needs to rest, but something tells her she'll be up most the night again. Either keeping watch or ensuring her Warlord doesn't stop breathing in the middle of the night.

It's better than the alternative.

Ghaul's words still echo through her mind, taunting and shattering her dreams. She can't linger on them and yet, it's all she can do. She should have been able to stop him. Zavala's champion. Cayde's favorite Guardian. Shaxx's...well, she won't get into what she is to him. For all the good it's done her, she couldn't protect the Traveler and she couldn't protect her Titan.

As she helps him settle against the wall of the cave, she can't quite help the pang of guilt that tears through her when he growls in pain. He has an uncanny capacity for sensing her emotions as she's cone to find out. Yet, it still startles her when his hand snaps upward, bunching up the material of her cloak along her shoulder within his fist as he lifts his head.

There are no words that slip off his tongue, just a steady, even gaze through visors. She almost feels as though she's being reprimanded before she gathers her wits and gently shifts from her crouched position to kneeling beside him.

She pats his hand on her shoulder and his grip eases, frame going slack against the wall behind him. She begins to remove his chest plate, laying it aside before detaching his pauldrons. If she's going to get to his injuries, she'll have to remove the entire upper portion of his armor and he's in no condition to assist her.

"I always imagined this would occur in a far different scenario," Shaxx mumbles, "You, removing my armor." A soft, raspy laugh slips past his lips and she smiles.

She nods her agreement, gently lifting his right hand, bracing the back of the appendage against her chest plate as she works at the straps holding the gauntlet in place. It all feels...intimate, almost. The way her fingers deftly work over the leather straps, the slow removal of the gauntlet with one hand as the other brushes tenderly along his sleeve, fingertips ghosting over fabric. She can feel his eyes on her as she sets it aside, her fingers entwine with his. Her eyes fixate on the point of contact, hands locked tightly around one another and she squeezes.

"It's alright," he reassures her, squeezing her hand back. It's not nearly as tightly as he usually does, his strength waning in the late hour. It's almost enough to make her forget about the reality of this situation, but the moment is fleeting and vanishing as she realizes she needs to dress his wound sooner than later.

She releases his hand, removing the other gauntlet before helping him work his shirt up over of his head. It's slow going, gingerly working fabric over aching muscles and lacerations - the horn on his helmet is the most difficult to maneuver. It'd be easier if he just took the damned thing off. She should check to see if he has a concussion at the very least but something tells her she won't be prying that metal bucket off his head anytime soon - not out here. He used to remove it, in the Tower. When the sun had set and she's curled up in his bed, he'd press in behind her. His forehead pressed against her shoulder as he held her close against him.

It occurs to her that she hasn't seen his face beyond moonlight. The most she'd make out were the ridges of scars along his torso.

She used to spend hours tracing along the scars. It was the quickest way to fall asleep in his embrace. Sometimes she'd wonder who was more tired - at the speed Shaxx fell asleep, she often assumed it was him.

Her eyes flit along the scars littering his chest and abdomen briefly - the stories he tells her flaring in the back of her mind. Battles alongside Iron Lords, Twilight’s Gap and victories that span lifetimes. He's told her some of them, enthralled her for hours as she'd sit and stare up at him with an awestruck grin behind her helmet in the Tower. He's a good storyteller - animated and loud...she wishes she could hear that same energy now. Instead, he's struggling to remain awake.

She can't think about that right now.

Her eyes dart to the injury along his side, taking in the extent of the damage. It doesn’t appear to be infected, thankfully. She leans back on her heels before tearing off a portion of her cloak, wadding it up and pressing it against the deep laceration. Lord Shaxx jerks with a violent inhalation and she flinches. His hand grips her wrist, harsher than before as he regains his ability to breathe.

She leans her helmet against his, waiting patiently for him to settle so she can continue. His grip on her wrist is desperate and pleading all at once. Some part of her longs to kiss him, if only to distract the Warlord from the agony singing along his nerves, through his veins. Instead, she pulls her free hand away from the makeshift bandage, resting it firmly on top of Shaxx’s curled around her wrist. His head lifts, shifting from her hand atop his to her visor. He understands all at once and his fingers ease their vice grip, allowing her to adjust the cloth against his side. She gingerly lifts his hand from her wrist and presses it against the bandage encouragingly.

He needs to hold it in place for this to work.

“I wonder, Guardian, when you’ll just tell me what you want me to do,” he snorts softly, holding the cloth in place.

She tilts her head in an almost playful manner before tearing off another few strips of her cloak.

“I’ll be sure to get you a new one when we regain the Tower,” Shaxx manages, staring at the material in her lap.

She waves him off in an almost dismissive manner before lifting herself up onto his lap. She presses one end of the makeshift bandages to his hand and he grips it, holding it in place so she can begin to wind it around his torso. The Young Wolf has never been one to shy away from close proximity, especially not when it comes to him, but this all feels odd. It’s never this unbalanced - him, half-dressed and her, fully armored. She supposes she can add this to the list of things that feel incredibly wrong after losing her Light.

That’s the other piece she misses in this dynamic. With the Light, she can sense him, feel him through it. Without it, there’s a void that’s disquieting, gnawing and aching all at once in her chest. She can feel him - physically, but not in the same way.

Ghaul will pay for this.

By the time she’s finished patching him up, Lord Shaxx has drifted off. She watches as his chest rises and falls, a welcome sight after last night’s...well, nightmare. She can see the physical rise and fall of his chest and that, more than anything, soothes her nerves.

He’s alive.

They’ll be alright.

As she moves to get to her feet, his hand snaps upward, catching hold of her forearm - he was asleep, wasn’t he?

“I need you, not to fight, Guardian - I need you to stay.”

She looks from his grip on her arm to his helmet. He sounds half-coherent, barely conscious. She needs to find supplies...but she cannot refuse him - not now, not ever. So, she sinks back down onto his lap, removing her cloak and draping it over his chest, tucking the frayed edge under his chin. And then she lays her head on his shoulder, cool metal resting cautiously against marred skin. It’s only then that his grip falters and his arms wrap around her feebly.

“Get some sleep,” he coaxes softly, gloved fingers digging into the fabric around her back plates and she presses closer. He must be cold or delirious by this point, but she’ll stay, ensure he rests easily and there are no complications. Ghost will keep watch, he always keeps watch.

So as Lord Shaxx's breathing evens out and his heartbeat thrums beneath her head, the Young Wolf closes her eyes. They’ve always slept the most in one another’s embrace, she only wishes he didn’t always insist on being her bed. It’s not good for his injuries, he should - his grip tightens, his helmet lulling to lean against hers and any reprimanding fades from her mind.

I suppose it’s alright...

She’ll find what they need in the morning, he can rest. It’ll be fine. So long as he’s alive, they’ll be fine.

Sleep well, my Titan.

—————————————

Chapter 3 (Evade)

Taglists are open! Send an ask/leave a comment to be added!

Forevers: @halo-2 @reaped-winnower @genken64 @sugarcoated44 @cayde-6 Shaxx's Guardians: @ataraxia101 @squirrel-stars @rain-wolf

#lord shaxx #shaxx x guardian #destiny shaxx #shaxx #the young wolf #destiny 2 #destiny #destiny hunter #destiny 2 hunter #destiny fanfiction #destiny fic #phantom writes

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merrumeru · 4 years ago

Text

Let me cheer you up even more: Graham!90 x reader

Words: 1870

Warning: nope, zero

The room was dark. The only light that could enter the room was the glow of the stars and of the tiny moon in the night sky. I was surrounded by silence as the last song on the vinyl record ended twenty minutes early. I had no desire or humor to get out of bed and change it. I focused on my slow and deep breathing. It was supposed to help me calm down, but it didn't work for me. My eyes were fixed on a distant point in the sky. I felt as if I was sinking into my anxiety. But I couldn't understand why. My life was going in quiet rhythm, I had a roof over my head and someone who cared for me. However, the thought of the future made me panic. Looking at friends who knew what they wanted to do in life, at Graham and his thriving career…I was stalled. I couldn't find a place for myself or this one thing that would be my passion. Graham always said that everything is fine with me, that I will somehow put my life in order. That he, my age, was also feeling lost. Still, the thought of working or continuing my studies scared my in the deep of heart. If I can't see my future myself, so does it even exist? I covered myself with the duvet. From head to toe, as if I was going to disappear. I promised Graham I would wait for him tonight. We'll watch a movie and eat something good. But suddenly I lost my desire for anything. I wanted to fall asleep and wake up in a much better mood. I suspected it was almost 10pm and Graham would be back from the band rehearsal soon.

I heard the key in the door twist. The hit of his backpack on the ground and the sound of shoes being taken off. „Love I’m back”. The mellow voice of Graham sounded so happy. But I was about to ruin it all. On the one hand, I wanted to tell him how hopeless I felt, on the other hand, I preferred not to put stress on him at home. I didn't want to be a sad part of his life, I was supposed to help and encourage him. Graham was more delicate than I was and much more concerned about everything. I didn’t want the negative emotions and stress which he felt through a lack of privacy and high expectations soaking into his heart also in our home. So I pretended to be asleep.

I heard him slowly approaching the bed. He probably didn't expect to find me sleeping. I heard his soft laugh. „Y/N why you always decide to miss the best fun. Okay. I'll put the food in the fridge and lie down too.”

„I’m awake”. I turned to face him. It was dark enough in the room that I could only see his silhouette.

„Did something happened?” I heard his voice suddenly turn serious. I knew that he suddenly felt tensed, as if I was about to say that some kind of disaster had happened. I was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. „You are sick? Did something unpleasant happen to you at university? Sorry to be late, but you didn't call so I thought everything …”

„No! No Graham, everything is ok. I’m just tired” I stopped in the middle of a sentence, a lump that appeared in my throat blocked all words. „You will be angry if we put our romantic evening in another evening, or day, or whatever?”

„Hey, who do you think I am. Of course it's not a problem baby.” I felt the bed on his side slowly bend under the weight of his body. Graham put his hand on my head and lightly stroked my hair. „I'm just worried. You've been sad for a while and I don't know how to help you.” I stretched my hand toward him and squeezed his hands tightly. „Your voice is so weak, yet your grip is still hard”.The moonlight illuminated his face and a shy smile. His thumb gently caressed the back of my hand.

„Nothing happens. I've just had bad days lately. You know, life is too much to handle for me sometimes.”

„You can always tell me about anything Y/N. I don't want you to feel lonely in difficult times.” Graham released my hand. He took off his hoodie and tossed it next to the bed. After a moment, he was lying next to me, pressing me tightly to his chest. „God, why are you so emotionally unavailable. Will you ever stop being a mystery to me?” He placed a few kisses on my hair. I put one leg on his hip and gripped his T-shirt tighter. I wanted to blend in with his skin.

„I love you so much Graham. I don't know how to express it all.” His heart was beating fast. He radiated a warmth that I missed so much. I could wear a hundred sweaters, be surrounded by several heaters while sitting on one of the sunny beaches, and nothing would warm my heart and hands more than his inner warmth.

„You don't have to show it or look for ways to express it. Just trust me and let me understand you.” His hand rested on my bare thigh, which I got on his hip.He used his finger to paint little circles. I brought my mouth close to his and kissed him softly. One sloppy stroke of the lips, but right after that a second time, much deeper and passionately.

He pulled me towards him so that I was suddenly on top of him. Our lips hardly detached.I felt hotter and hotter, as if all the accumulated emotions had suddenly burst forth and like a wave and found their way out. I felt dizzy, all my bad thoughts disappeared like clouds after the storm. Graham's hands got under my shirt and rested on my bare back. I opened my eyes and broke off the kiss. I straightened up, staring deeply into his eyes. Graham lowered his hands to my hips and gripped them tightly.

„You have such a handsome face, bastard. We both started laughing. „Handsome, talented… you are made to be star.” I pinched his cheek that he grimaced slightly, small lines forming on his nose.„And these crowds of female fans undressing you with their eyes.”

„I'm just looking for the eyes of one girl in this crowd. And I don't have to undress her with my sight. She does it by herself when we are at our home.” Graham straightened his glasses and rose to his elbows.”I just hope that she listen carefully to my words and will follow them. After all, with me, she doesn't have to be afraid of anything.”

He tucked a few locks of hair behind my ear and placed a hand against my cheek. My head rested on it. „Y/N just take it all easy. You are good enough at what you do right now. Life is not only about challenges. Sometimes there are occasions that come by themselves. Whatever it may be, I will try to be always by your side.” I wanted to cry and didn’t know if it was more of sadness or pure happiness and peace that overwhelmed me.

“When did you get so mature? Two years ago, you wouldn't have been giving me such deep advice, just trying to make me laugh or whatever. Where's my baby boy gone?” I smiled at the memories of the beginning of our relationship. Even though Graham is three years older than me, I have always had the tendency to mother him. His delicacy combined with shyness and frequent confusion made me place my whole heart in his hands. I loved watching him do what he loves and his hard work was paying off.

“You have a great influence on me. I doubt if I could mentally handle this without you.” Graham's eyes were on me as I got up from the bed.”Where are you going love?”

“You don't even know how much I feel like having tea.” I stretched gently because my whole body was asleep and put on his hoodie that was lying on the floor. ”I'll do one for you too. You can easily go take a shower. When I'll come back, let's stay in bed, we've been doing it much too rarely lately”.

Graham chuckled and get up without one word. Before I left the room,I looked out of the corner of my eye as he took off his shirt. I bit my lower lip. His body was lean, not very muscular. It pained me that he couldn't see how handsome he was. His broad-shouldered silhouette, bathed in the darkness of the night, made me want to approach him, hug him tightly and kiss his back. Graham turned to face me and tossed the shirt in his hand at me. „Don’t peek! You were supposed to make tea hmmm?”

„Oh c’mon mr.She Coxon. I won't give you back this shirt.”

„Just like my hoodie?” I saw him shift the weight from one leg to the other and cross his arms over his chest.

„What is this slander towards me, Coxon?” I stuck my tongue out at him and, without waiting for an answer, disappeared into the darkness of the hall.

When I returned with two cups, Graham was waiting for me. The room was lit now by a single lamp in the corner of the room. His hair was still wet, he was wearing sweatpants but still no shirt. The towel hung loosely around his neck. Graham flicked through the vinyl records, humming some tunes. Eventually he settled on one and put it in the adapter. I put the tea on the bedside table and lay down, trying to guess what music was about to start playing.

Graham positioned himself between my legs so that his head rested on my stomach.I gently stroked his thick, still wet hair. "God, I don't know how I'll survive these two months without you Y / N”. His hands wrapped around my torso.”Fucking hell”.

“You can always lie like this with Damon.” Graham turned his head abruptly, his chin gently digging into my stomach.

“This is a bloody bad idea. Where do you get such strange ideas from”

“I am not the one who has a deep male friendship. Straight fact, baby. I watched a program once about people in the jungle and they did weird things ...” I ran my finger down his nose.

“What the fuck, I won't be in jungle, in fact we even won't be in village. We're not going to a survival camp.”

“You never know Graham. What if the plane will stuck on a desert island, or the bus will be unable to leave the forest?”

“Maybe let's not go that far. Let's go back to why I'm going to miss you, your body, your words and just being here.” Graham pulled himself to meet my lips.

“But the the-...”

“It won't get the legs and come out by itself. Let me cheer you up even more.”

#graham coxon #blur #blur fanfic #graham coxon x reader #graham coxon imagine #graham coxon fanfic #britpop #fanfic #90s

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fandomnetworks · 4 years ago

Text

HE’S WEIRD.

PART 1 PART 2

Summary: Your past comes to light and the uncomfortable truth seems to intrigue the DEA agents.

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: Violence and Cursing

Authors note: A lot more of the reader’s past in this part, I felt like it would be a great foundation for future parts. I promise there will be more Javi interactions in the next. Also if you haven’t read the first two parts I’d highly recommend you do!

Thanks my lovelies.

Were you fabricating lies straight through your teeth the night your so-called friend left that voicemail? Absolutely, and you hoped Peña did not call you out on your bluff. His quizzing eyes made your stomach hurl inside. Thankfully, he was too tired to be "dealing with you" and stopped asking questions. He headed out of your apartment once you assured him you wouldn't go out again, and if anything happened, you'd call him or Steve.

-----

It had been about two days from the time Peña last visited your apartment. Instead, in his place, Steve would see you at night; he was far nicer than Peña and would even bring you food that Connie made or food he bought for dinner. But tonight, you offered him freshly baked cookies you had spent nearly half of the morning looking for all the ingredients.

Taking a seat at the dinner table, both you and Steve had a coffee mug in your hands. He usually stayed about 10 minutes before leaving, and today was no different. "Javi told me some guy is bothering you?" He said in more of a question than a statement tone.

Something inside you stirred; you felt something but couldn't explain the feeling. Your cheeks became red, as you thought, what else did they talk about you when you weren't around. But you also felt terrible that you were lying to one of the few good people you've met since moving back to Colombia. But you weren't ready; you hadn't collected enough information yet to bring your plan to life and take that motherfucker down.

"Yeah, an old fling that didn't spark back up."

"You know, you should be careful with guys like that," Steve noted, eyeing your facial expressions, taking a sip of his drink.

If it hadn't been for the boost of adrenaline due to the two extra spoonfuls of coffee in your cup, you would have never reacted faster than Steve when your phone went off. His arm was just about to stretch out and pick the phone when your body lunged forward.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Lifting the phone from the receiver, you avoided all eye contact with him. You knew the look he was giving you, and between the man you knew was calling and Steve's attitude, you would have collapsed.

"Hello?"

"Mira, yo se donde vives, no me estes jugando con tus chingaderas." (Look, I know where you live, don't play your shit with me).

"Yes, hi, how are you?" You covered the speaker of the phone and whispered to Steve, "it's one of my college friends."

"How am I? Fucking mad, next time I see you, I'll make sure you pay for this."

"Lovely," A smile appeared on your face, "I'm glad to hear you're doing great. Hey, but listen, I have company; I'll call you back in an hour. Talk to you in a bit."

Even though your heart was beating a thousand times a minute, your facial expressions remained free. You tried comprehending that he said he knew where you lived. He, of course, could be bluffing and lying; it wouldn't be the first time. This only infuriated you and made you want to catch him so much more. He couldn't hold your life, your emotions for the rest of your life. But if you did nothing to stop him, he would continue to torture you and the rest of Colombia.

It wasn't much longer until Steve departed, telling you that Connie was probably wondering where he was.

---

Before your brother became president and before you had left for New York, your family was already in the spotlight. Your mom was a well-known doctor, and your dad was in politics himself. That meant people of high society always surrounded you. In one of the many parties hosted by your parents, you met a man named Santiago Matias.

At first, he was the kind of man to open doors for you, call you love names, buy you gifts, and take you out to eat often. His personality and his charm won you over. After a few weeks, you soon found him on one knee proposing to you.

The first red flag you should have noticed and ran in the opposite direction was how mysterious and quiet he was about his life. All you knew was that he was the child of one of your dad's close friend group.

You never thought that the ounce of cocaine in his pockets was just a sample he was giving out to people. He was a drug dealer.

If you had known the truth and the extent of his dealings, you would have never been associated with him. You would have never accepted his gifts and gestures if you knew the refined gifts of luxury were bought with narco money. You would have never fallen asleep in his arms and let his hands roam your body if you had known those hands had been used to take life. And you would have never kissed his lips knowing that his commands caused the death of dozens.

You took off the nearly $5,000 engagement ring and threw it at his face when you confronted him of his "work." You told him you never wanted to see him again, and you hoped he rotted in hell.

Now, you were out for revenge. You felt disgusted that you were once associated with him and needed to bring justice to all the people he ever harmed. When you were 17, the only thing you knew was that you wanted to be as far away as you could from him and that type of lifestyle. But after all these years, you were out for blood, and there was no stopping you.

He had connections to Pablo Escobar; if you could bring Santiago down, maybe just maybe you could bring a piece of information to the table and help bring Escobar down too. Santiago was a chesspiece to Escobar's game, and you were ready to destroy their empire and slaughter the world they created.

You might be "just the president's sister," the damsel in distress, but you had your own demons too.

---

The night was coming to an end, and the clock on your wall read 9:48 p.m. The phone rang for a total of 4 times, and you were sure he wasn't going to pick up; yet, the deep voice of your ex-fiancé sounded through the speaker.

The call only lasted 20 seconds. He only got in a hello before you responded, "6 p.m., you only no one else, at Chonche's." And you hung up before he could answer.

You would get as much information as you could from him at Chonche's restaurant. Once you were close to him, you'd bring him down.

6 p.m. would give you just enough time to meet up with him, extract as much as you could and be back home before Steve's regular visit at 8.

Easy right?

---

Wrong.

According to the leather watch on your left wrist, it was 5:58 p.m. as you entered the restaurant. The knife on your waist dug into your skin every time you took a step. It was a good reminder that you had it in case you needed it. You had tried covering your face and image by covering your body with black clothes and a dark baseball cap. The restaurant wasn't particularly a family-friendly one. Now that you thought about it, you had never seen a single child walk in here, especially not voluntarily.

In fact, every, every person in the restaurant, which was only about five people, including the bartender, was a drug dealer, narco, or a murderer. You laid your head low as you took a seat on a worn-out leather stool at the bar, far away from the men sitting at the back of the room.

Your heartbeat could be heard in your ear, the sweat accumulating around your forehead wasn't going unnoticed by the fabric of your cap. Why wasn't Santiago here? He was always on time, never a second early or late. Something was wrong. Did he set up a trap? Was this a mistake? Was he even coming?

The bartender came up and asked what drink he could get you, and you ordered your favorite beverage. Your leg began to bounce due to the anxiety you started to feel in your chest. Looking down at your watch, it read 6:02.

The front door swung wide open, the face of your ex-lover was nowhere, instead in his place was fucking Javier Peña. Quickly ducking your head, you were surprised it didn't snap.

Had he seen you? Your cheeks turned a light shade of red as the bartender walked up and handed you the alcoholic drink.

Looking back at the entrance where Peña once stood, a sigh of relief escaped your lips; he hadn't seen you.

But then you began to think. Why was Peña in a place like this? Was he a narco? Was his DEA position just a stunt? Was Peña a Santiago? Of course, he was; you only found dangerous men attractive. Your hindsight was absolute trash. Maybe he grabbed the drugs he collected during raids and resold the-

"What are you doing here?" Peña's voice whispered in your left ear as you turned the stool to look at him.

"Are you one of them?" You asked, hoping to hear the correct answer and not the one you were dreading.

"What? No. Have you been following me?" Solely by him towering over you, he started to get some stares from the men across the room.

"I should ask you the same question. I was here before you." You took a sip of your drink, trying to remain calm. If Santiago found you with a DEA agent, he would think you were setting him up and would leave.

Instead of taking a seat next to you, Peña placed a steel grip on your bicep, "Answer my question."

"Would you at least take a seat so they can stop looking at us?"

"No, we're leaving." He pulled you up from the stool.

"Let go of me."

Without answering you, he pushed you out of the restaurant. You let him. There was something wrong due to the lack of your ex's appearance.

Once outside, the two of you walked a few meters away from the restaurant; he pulled you to the side, looked around to see if anyone was watching, and asked, "What were you doing in there."

"I was meeting someone."

"Who?" he was clearly upset by the way he corned you against the wall, his face nearly inches away from yours. He was so close; you could smell the lingering scent of his cigarette fumes, the cologne on his neck, and could see the fine lines that made up his lips.

"San-"

The sound of a loud explosion to the left of you ended with the tear of tissue in your eardrum, making you lose most of your hearing. A fire came blazing from Chonche's windows. The glass from the windows shattered around the ground you had just walked on a few seconds ago. The windows of the businesses around the restaurant broke as well.

Peña instantly launched at you; he used himself as a shield to protect you from danger. The gun that was once inside the worn-out holster was now in his hands as he pointed it at anything that caught his attention.

The sounds of car anti-theft went off; sirens were blaring as paramedics and police officers began to make their way. The sound of wood burning tickled your ears, the crackle in any other situation would be soothing, but right now, it made Peña hyperaware of all the danger around you. In contrast, you could barely hear anything. Everything around you was going in slow motion except for Peña's lips when he turned to look at you. His lips were moving, but you heard jack squat. The way his mouth was opening wide with every word he said and his eyebrows knitting towards each other, you could conclude he was for sure yelling.

You nodded, not knowing what else to say or do.

Which only made him more enraged.

He pulled you out of immediate danger, his hands holding on to you as he pushed you towards his car. He was silent. And you were in no bit surprised. With the amount of adrenaline running through your system, the only thing going through your mind was how to breathe normally again and how to get your hearing back. His main priority was to get you inside his car and make sure no one was following.

Once inside, you asked, "Where are we going?"

He glanced at you quickly before looking back at the road, "Good, you can hear now. Who were you suppose to see?"

"Santiago Matias," You looked at him for a reaction but were somewhat surprised his face remained emotionless. "He's my ex-fiancé."

The worn-out, bruised knuckles on his hands turned white as the grip on the steering wheel became stronger. "You were engaged to him?" Now, the face of disgust was plastered on his tanned face. His words were said through gritted teeth. If you hadn't been paying close attention to his words, you wouldn't have heard him.

"I didn't know what he did when I first met him." You were about to tell Javier Peña about some of the worst times in your life, and you were afraid. You explained how you met, how he manipulated you after the honeymoon phase. What did you know about life at the age of 17? He was nearing 28 when you met him, and he used your naiveness against you. He was just starting his killer life, and as soon as you found out about his "work," you broke things off.

One day while you were walking around a local market buying some groceries, you reached to a vendor's stand. You went to pick up a couple of apples when the elderly lady working the stand caught your forearm. She lifted your wrist to her eyes and began to yell. She claimed that the bracelet you had belonged to her deceased daughter. You were immediately telling her that the bracelet was given to you for your six-month anniversary. She disagreed, pulling an old folded picture from her pocket. It had her daughter with the exact bracelet, down to the customized stones. She asked you to take it off, and you'd find the name Amalia engraved inside of it.

Your face became red; you knew that the name was on it. Of course, you did; you bragged about it to your friends. It was one of the most beautiful bracelets you'd seen. The word Amalia, you had assumed was a brand name. Never had it crossed your mind that it was a personal touch for a girl.

Santiago was known to give you gifts at all times of the week. He seemed like the kind of guy your dad would be proud of. Little did you know that as the elderly lady spoke about your fiancé, your relationship would soon begin to fall apart like a game of Jenga. Never in your worst nightmares did it ever cross your mind that the gifts he got you was bought with narco money or collected from deceased bodies. The woman told you that Santiago Matias had killed her family, including her 3-month-old grandson. The only reason that she was saved was because one of Matias' men knew her personally.

There and then, you took off the bracelet and handed it to the rightful owner. You didn't know what to say or do. Due to the man you were in love with, her whole family was gone. How many other families had he ruined? That very day, you broke off the wedding and told him you wished him a slow death. That you never wanted to see him again, and if he ever came near you again, you'd kill him yourself.

You left to get your bachelor's that very fall and seemed determined never to come back. However, as the short four years passed, and as you began to study to enter a masters program, you were pulled back home. The threat against your brother made him weary, and he wanted you close to home where he could protect you. That's how you ended up trading your comfy apartment with the hot neighbor to Colombia's small apartment. Thankfully the only thing that didn't change was the hot neighbor part.

Once you had finished explaining that time in your life, Peña made eye contact with you as the car came to a stop due to the traffic, "Why didn't you do anything?" The mood in the car shifted from frustration to confusion.

That was your worst regret of your entire life. Maybe if you had stopped him back then, he wouldn't have an empire today with the world's most famous narco. You felt uncomfortable under his harsh and intense gaze. The right words seemed to escape your lips as you tried forming the correct sentence. "I...I don't know. I didn't want to think that the man I was willing to marry could do such a thing."

You closed your eyes, not wanting to look at him, and took a deep breath. You had never told anyone the real story behind your first and probably only fiancé you'll ever have. Turning your head towards the window, you opened your eyes and looked at the passing cars as traffic began to lighten up. The only way you thought you could make things up was by bringing him down.

And apparently, Peña thought the same way, "Well, I don't know what to tell you Y/n." The car began to move, and so did the wheels of his brain as he began to plan out a solution.

"Listen," You turned to look at him, "I've been trying to set up a meeting with him for a while now. Today obviously didn't go as well as I had planned. But I'll try again. I can set up another meeting. It's the least I can do, right?"

He pulled into the base where Steve and Carrillo were, setting things up for tomorrow. Peña looked at you with a look of 'are-you-stupid.' "No what? He just tried killing you." He pulled into a parking spot.

"Exactly-" Both of you got out of the vehicle, walked towards the building; his long stride compared to yours made you trail behind him. "I-we can use that and-"

"No." He cut you off, just as Carrillo and Steve walked out of the building. You looked down at your watch; it read 7:02.

"Hey, where have you been?" Steve questioned Peña, quickly saying hi to you before pulling Peña to the side and updating him on the movement of their operation.

When Carrillo approached you, out of instinct, you gave him a quick hug. It had been a while since you had seen the handsome Colonel, and you did miss his snarky remarks. At first, he was tense but soon loosened up to your touch and hugged you back.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Peña staring at your interactions with Carrillo.

Small talk emerged. You asked him how he'd been and asked about the two soldiers who had stayed by your side all those weeks. In return, he asked if you were readjusting to the climate of Colombia. You also admitted you had missed him and invited him over to your apartment. (A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do)

But before he could ask you the purpose of your visit, you told him you had information about Santiago Matias. Which he instantly became intrigued. Once the Colonel caught on to Peña's lingering eyes, he asked you, "What's his problem?" The two of you fully turned to peer at him. Javier quickly glanced at Steve, pretending y'all hadn't caught him.

Brushing it off, you said, "I don't know, he's weird." A chuckle came out of Carrillo. He signaled for both men to follow him as the four of you made it inside the base.

---

Inside, you and Steve took a seat at a large table in Horacio's office, while he and Peña stood in front of you.

Quickly telling them the truth about your relationship with Santiago, you told them everything Peña had just heard and the explosion at the restaurant. In a heartbeat, you were getting a stern look from Carrillo and Steve telling you how stupid your plan was, asking you what the hell were you thinking.

"So what Peña and I were thinking was, I could bait him out by meeting up with him again."

"I didn-"

"What?" Steve yelled, looking at you and then at Peña, giving him a look of, are-you-serious.

"I did not agree to that," Peña stated, taking a seat on the table next to Steve. "We can use Y/n to..."

Fast forward an hour, countless coffee and whiskey refills, papers skewed around the table, and on the bulletin board, you had a phone to your ear. This time the room was full of soldiers and some higher uppers, which did not help your nerves. Carrillo, Murphy, and Peña sat around you, urgently and stressful waiting for Santiago to pick up.

After the second ring, you could hear your heart pounding in your ears. It felt so odd that the man you were willing to marry all those years back, now made you afraid.

Just as the third ring sounded through your ears, he picked up.

You motioned for Peña to start recording.

"Hello?"

"I'm alive, mi amor."

TAG LIST:

(Let me know if you want to be added!)

luvzoria smoke-and-sunset xletmetaste-yoursmilex youcancallmeaphrodite

Also sorry for any typos I’ve been editing and revising this for the past week and I have like 3 other versions of how this could have played out. ALSO I really want to incorporate a jealous Javi in the next chapter.

Again, thanks lovelies for taking a moment to read!

#javier peña x reader #javier pena x reader #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal x reader #narcos #narcos imagines #Steve murphy #horacio carrillo

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thebrownssociety · 3 years ago

Text

Across The Serververse, Chapter 10

Hey! thanks to @thatsalotoftoons and @shipping-queen-fay-blog [thank you for your nice comments, but the way] for following this story.

*Approximately 5 and a half hours later*

“There.” Marvin removed himself from the underside of Sam’s newly-fixed car, with an of someone reaching the end of his tether. “You will not find a more ready-to-go car than that, Yosemite.”

Wile.E closed the bonnet of the car and, handing a tool of some kind to Raodie, gave a thumbs up.

The others all hopped down/stood away from the bits of the car that they were working on, revealing the whole thing in it’s shiny, gold-painted glory to Sam.

It was beautiful, the pirate thought while staring at it in amazement. It had been good before, but now it was great! The two canon muzzles that stuck out the end of the car had been modified so they were now ready to hold anything and Wile.E had done something with the amount of stuff the car could hold so it was, in a word, better.

Sam smiled and ran his hands over the paintwork. “It’s as good as new.” He said, trying not to get to emotional. “I-I don’t know how ta thank ya all.”

“You know...” Pepe said, coming over to stand next to Sam and putting his hand on the car door in what could only be described as a seductive manner. “We technically still have ze time? You could probably still run ze race if you wanted...?”

Sam gave it serious consideration, but then shook his head reluctantly. “Nah. I ah couldn’t do that. Not when we’re missing several relatives. I mean...if it all ends up coming down to the last couple of hours ah don’t wanna be thinkin’ ‘if only I hadn’t run that race!’ Ya know wha’ ah mean? Besides. The track do darn go on forever. Nah, les leave it.”

Just at that exact moment day turned into night, as it tended to do. There were no sunsets or sunrises in the serververse [unless you lived in a live-action world, such as Harry Potter] the sun just went up and down without any warning.

With a cry of alarm Bugs signalled to Marvin and the Martian sped-walked towards him with a placating: “Do not worry yourself, my furry brother, I have a torch somewhere in my hammerspa-”

“What?” Bugs looked at him like he’d lost the plot. “Oi’m not scared of de dark, Marvin. Oi scurry me little hide through pitch-black tunnels most of the time, how can I be scared of de dark? No, I want ta plan wit’ ya where we’re going next as - and you may not have noticed this - IT’S DE MIDDLE OF DE NIGHT!”

Marvin's eyes narrowed and he put his hands on his hips. “I appreciate this is a stressful time for us all, Bugs, but if you would kindly refrain from shouting at me-”

“Who’s shouting?” Bugs yelled.

Marvin’s eyes narrowed even further so they were practically one eye and he said, with dignity. “I shall attribute your attitude to both your concern about our siblings and lack of sleep. Now-” Marvin began, his tone, bearing and general attitude reminding everyone why he was in charge of a planet and they were not. “-Listen to me and listen well. We are nearly out of both water and fuel. We forgot to bring food with us, although I am willing to take responsibility for that as it is my ship, and we now have a car to transport. So I propose we go back to Warner Brothers Central for 12 hours exactly. I shall stock the ship with supplies and fill it up with fuel, Sam can take his car somewhere it won’t be a nuisance and we can all get some rest. We’ll then head straight off and decide who to get next after we all have clearer minds.” There was a pause during which Marvin looked at Bugs like he was expecting a reply.

Bugs blinked back at him, trying to process what he’d just said. His head felt foggy. He ran a hand across his forehead and smiled in what he hoped was a nice smile and not a deranged one.

Marvin cleared his throat and said, slowly and clearly. “I propose we do that right this minute as - as you keep reminding us - time is off the essence. Is anyone against that plan?” He asked, looking round at the rest of the group.

If Bugs had been thinking clearly he’d have seen that everyone else was completely cool with Marvin’s idea, even Tweety who had been on edge for about the last 10 hours, seemed happy with it.

As he was not thinking clearly, however - far from it, he was tired, hungry, stressed and worried - Bugs said with the kind of ferocity you might expect from a wolf, should you ever meet one. “Okay, Oi get it. Ya want ta leave our family alone to fight for dere lives!” Voice rising, he spat. “Granny an’ Speedy are in ‘The Matrix’! Dey could be dead-!”

“Bugs!” Penelope cut in, with an urgent head nod at Tweety, who had gone ashen.

Not even noticing her Bugs steamrolled on. “-Or bein’ attacked or somethin’! Sentient A.I’s who knows what damage dey cahn do! An’ Porky and Daffy are in DC World! An Lola’s dere as well! Villains! Superhero’s! Oi mean sure-” Bugs rambled, his voice becoming progressively higher-pitched as his body also started to shake. “All de times we’ve been dere it’s been fine, bit who knows now? Acid vaults! Incineration rays! Plants! That...” Here Bugs struggled for a few seconds to find the words, then managed to grasp them. “...weird egg man...what was his name? - Humpty Dumpty! I mean-” At this point Bugs found himself unable to talk properly and made motions with his arms that, to him, represented sewing and to everyone else represented a nervous breakdown. “Oi mean...” He repeated. Slowing down now he looked at his family with wide eyes and a trembling frame, saying in a small voice. “...Oi don’t know what I mean.” Before bursting into tears.

There was a long pause while the others tried to remember the last time they saw Bugs cry. Genuinely cry I mean, not for a cartoon or the like. Quite a while ago now...

It was Penelope who finally got enough wits about her to go and actually comfort the rabbit. Making soothing noises and reassuring him that Daffy, Porky and Lola would probably be fine as would the rest of the family, she enveloped him in a hug.

One by one the other toons moved in and hugged Bugs as well. It took a while but eventually the rabbits breathing evened out and he started calming down. A little while longer and Bugs said, somewhat shakily. “Okay...Oi’m alright now. Jus’ lost me senses for a few minutes.”

“It’s perfectly logical.” Wile.E said, in what was meant to be a reassuring manner, but came across as lecturing. “This has been a stressful time and the human - or in your case - the rabbit mind can only deal with so much. After a short while-”

It was at this point that Roadie elbowed his twin and held up a sign that said. ‘I don’t think he needs a lecture, Wile.E.’

Wile.E, massaging his arm, saw this and muttered something agreeable.

“Marvin-” Bugs muttered, sounding exhausted. “-take over will ya? Oi don’t feel good.” And he sat down and put his head in his hands.

“Right.” Marvin wasted no time. “Wile.E and Roadie put Bugs up and carry him back to the ship. It’s clear the poor rabbit’s suffering a nervous breakdown of some sort. We’ll do what I said. Hopefully sleep will restore everyone’s minds. Let’s not waste any time now, Wile.E, Roadie?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, watching all this from the monitors Pete smiled [as much as a blob can smile] and dreamed about what it would be like if he could be so lucky as to be one of the ‘Looney Tunes’. He didn’t see why it couldn’t work. HIs jelly-like body was practically made for squashing under anvils....

After indulging this fantasy for more than a few minutes Pete slapped himself and started checking the other monitors.

Elmer was still fine. No change there then. Still showing a resistance to Mama’s Yak Stew and the like, but that was understandable.

Gossamer and Witch Hazel...Pete zoomed in and grimaced a little. Interesting. Very interesting. Amazing how people will change when you give them a little power...

On the bright side the guards were reacting well to Hazel. Pete had been worried about that...

Granny and Speedy...Pete zoomed in just in time for a fighting scene. Pete winced...he’d never seen a handbag used quite like that before...

Lola...still good. She was certainly improving. All that training must be paying off.

And finally Daffy and Porky. Last time they’d been fine...

Pete zoomed in and - ah. How interesting. He leaned forward and linked his tentacles together. Really, he should have expected this. What was it Rhythm always said? There are ways round everything? How clever...

His last thoughts, before he stopped his monitoring for a few hours, was to wonder how the other toons would react to this?

10 notes · View notes

debbiechanclub · 4 years ago

Text

Best Two Out of Three, Part 25

BTOOT is back! @hotyeehawman and I would like to apologize for the unintentional three-month hiatus. But it was the holidays, and then life, and lack of motivation... but we’re back! And I hope you all are just as excited about it as we are 😁

But enough talking! Enjoy! And please give us notes and scream in our asks we would very much appreciate it.

Best Two Out of Three

Part: 25/26

Pairing: Kenny Omega x OFC and Cash Wheeler x OFC x Matt Jackson...? And Adam needs to start loving himself, okay.

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: Language; angst; alcohol use; blood

Catch up on previous parts here.

Tag squad: @freshlysqueezedmox @comeasyoudar @heelchampbucks @librathepheonix13 @gabbynorth98 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @exe-sadboi-exe

For a hazy, fleeting second when he first woke up, Adam didn’t remember what had happened the night before. But then his hotel room came into focus, the fog of sleep cleared, and it all came flooding back like a waking nightmare.

He didn’t know how long he’d laid in the middle of the ring after Kenny had let him collapse face-first onto the mat. Seconds that had felt like minutes. Minutes that had felt like hours. The people at ringside had remained painfully silent until he’d finally picked himself up on tired legs and they’d cheered, doing their best to encourage him. But he’d barely heard them as he’d trudged into the back, his hands noticeably emptier than they’d been at the start of the match.

And then, things had somehow gotten worse.

He’d expected to see Alex when he’d returned to the locker room. Hoped to see her. Hoped she would rush over and hug him and tell him something to make him feel anything. But she hadn’t been there. Orange had said he’d just missed her; she’d left and gone back to the hotel. Gone after Kenny. And when he heard that, Adam’s heart had suddenly felt just as empty as his hands.

He laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling, unsure what time it was. He didn’t care. He wanted to go home, but there was no point—he’d just have to turn right back around the day after tomorrow. Plus, he’d booked the hotel room through Thursday. He didn’t want to lose that money, too.

Knock-knock-knock.

He turned his head toward the door, slightly confused. Had someone actually knocked, or had he just imaged it? He started counting. One, two, three, four, five, six—

Knock-knock-knock again, louder that time. And then, Alex’s voice called through the door.

“Adam, it’s me. Please open up.”

He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see her; not really. He could guess how their conversation would go and he’d rather just avoid it. But he forced himself out of bed, pulled on a pair of sweats, and grabbed his glasses off the nightstand as he shuffled across the room to the door. She’d just started to knock again when he pulled it open. Alex stood on the other side, an anxious look on her face.

“Hey. Can I come in?”

Adam stared back at her in pensive silence. Part of him wanted to tell her no—but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. So, he settled for a smart-ass comment as he let her in instead. “Does Kenny know you’re here?”

A mixture of hurt and surprise flashed in her eyes. But he hardly cared. He was hurt, too. “Yes,” she sheepishly returned. “I wanted to come see how you’re doing.”

He scoffed to himself as he shut the door. “What, were you too busy last night?”

Her face fell. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Put me in the middle more than I already am.”

Adam bit down on his jaw. He wanted to tell her she’d put herself in the middle, but he knew that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t even true. She wasn’t the cause of these circumstances. He was.

She brought her hands in front of her to nervously pick at her nails. She looked down at them as she talked. “I’m sorry I didn’t come see you last night. But after Kenny left the arena I had to see where his head was at. And even though I’m not thrilled with how he handled it… you know this would have happened, eventually.”

His brow lowered. “I know what would have happened eventually? That Kenny would abandon me?”

“No,” she returned with a frustrated huff. “That you and him would lose the tag titles… split up. You and Kenny aren’t FTR or the Young Bucks; you’re not meant to be a tag team. You’re meant for other things—bigger things. And now you can go after them.”

Adam rolled his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood for platitudes. “Oh, so is that what he told you last night? That he wants to move on to bigger and better things?”

“Yes. Don’t you?”

The quickness and bluntness of her answer surprised him. It also put him on the defensive. “I don’t know, Alex, I haven’t really thought about it. I’m kind of still processing last night.”

He moved past her to sit down on the bed. She pivoted to face him. “Look, I hate to say this, but… it’s probably for the best.”

Another platitude. He rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious, Adam!” she proclaimed. “When was the last time you were actually happy tagging with Kenny? Or being in The Elite?”

“Do I look happy now?”

It was Alex who rolled her eyes that time. She was getting impatient with his attitude. He didn’t blame her. Deep down, he was waiting for the day he’d drive her away, too.

She looked back down at her hands. “No. But I think you will be, eventually.”

Adam glanced away. He didn’t have anything to say. He didn’t want to have this conversation.

Alex let out a sigh. “I guess I’ll go.”

She turned and started toward the door. Adam felt his chest constrict as he watched her walk away. “Wait.” She stopped and glanced back at him, her hand on the door handle. “Why’d you run after Kenny?”

He had a feeling he knew why, but he wanted to hear her say it. She looked down at the door handle, her brow knitted together. She was debating whether or not she should actually tell him, he knew she was. But, eventually, she looked back at him and said it.

“Because I’m in love with him, Adam.” And then she went out the door.

* * * * * * * * * *

Callie had hoped she would wake up with a clear head. But she hadn’t. In fact, she felt even more confused than she had the night before.

After Kenny had stormed out of the arena, she’d wanted nothing more than to go to Adam. But she wouldn’t let herself. He’d pushed her away just like he had everyone else. Why should she go running to him?

Because you care about him, her heart said. You still love him.

He wants Alex to take care of him, her head returned. Let her go pick him up off the mat.

“Screw this,” she’d stubbornly said as she’d stood from the locker room couch—right as Matt and Nick returned. And then, she’d gotten angry.

“Why didn’t you go with him?” she’d accosted. The look that Matt had given her was a cross between offense and confusion.

“Are you serious?”

“He just needs to cool off,” Nick had interjected before Callie could respond. He was clearly trying to keep the peace. But it was no use; Matt was already out of the blocks.

“Why would we go with him?”

“Why wouldn’t you go with him?” Callie fired back. “Isn’t that exactly what you want, to start over your little club without Adam?”

Matt’s brow lowered, darkening his eyes. “Callie, you don’t know—” but he cut himself off, running a frustrated hand over his face. And then he asked, “What do you care, anyway?”

Callie faltered then. She didn’t have an answer for him. She didn’t even have an answer for herself.

“I’m not dealing with this right now.” She stalked over to her bag and bent down to zip it up. Matt watched with parted lips as she stood and pulled it behind her to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to the hotel,” she said. And just like that she’d left. Matt had texted her since, but she’d left him on read. And as she rode the elevator down to the hotel lobby, she realized she still had absolutely no desire to talk to him. To even see him.

We rushed into things. She realized that now. She’d latched onto Matt because she was lonely and hurt and he’d given her the attention she’d so desperately craved from Adam. And now she was worried that it had all been nothing but an emotional mistake.

The elevator doors slid open, and she swiftly made her way to the breakfast buffet, praying she wouldn’t run into anyone. She would just get what she wanted and head back upstairs to eat in the privacy of her room—but before she could reach the plates, someone called her name.

“Callie!”

She winced and whirled around. Cash and Dax sat at a table across the restaurant, plates of food in front of them. Cash waved for her to come over. She hesitated, unsure if she should. But she didn’t want to be rude, so she walked toward them.

“Morning,” Cash greeted with a wide smile. She returned it as best she could.

“Morning, and congrats. Hell of a match last night.” She really meant it. As heartbreaking as the outcome of the match had been, FTR had been the better team last night. They’d won the tag titles fair and square.

“Thank you,” Dax nodded in gratitude. “I hope there’s no hard feelings over us beating your boy. Although, from what I understand y’all aren’t exactly a thing anymore.”

Callie noticed Cash give Dax a hard look out of the corner of her eye. But it didn’t bother her. She’d figured word had gotten around by now that she and Adam were no longer together. “No. We’re not,” she frankly returned. Dax just nodded and sipped his coffee.

“So are you moving back home to California, then?”

She looked back at Cash, caught off-guard by his question. Did he assume that because he knew she was from California, or because he knew she’d been staying with Matt? Either way, it didn’t matter. Because she wasn’t even sure that was what she wanted anymore.

“That was the plan… but I’m not sure how set I am on it now.”

He cocked his head in curiosity. “Why’s that?”

She avoided his gaze, running her finger sheepishly along the edge of the table just to give herself something to do with her hands. “It was a knee-jerk decision,” she admitted. “And after thinking about it… I’d honestly rather move here. Well, to Florida. Not necessarily Jacksonville.”

She looked back up at him. He nodded. “Well, if you’re considering Orlando, let me know. I’d be more than happy to show you around.”

The corners of her mouth turned up. “I am, actually. Thanks.” He nodded again, and Callie suddenly felt like she needed to change the subject. “So, I guess you guys are going to the Labor Day party tomorrow?”

They had to be—they’d be gone by now if they weren’t. Her suspicions were confirmed when Dax made an enthusiastic sound in his throat.

“Hell yeah, we are. What would an AEW party be without the AEW World Tag Team Champions?”

She playfully rolled her eyes. “Not letting it go to your heads, I see.”

“Are you going?” Cash asked.

She drew in a deep breath. “Yeah, despite better judgment,” she said with a wry laugh. “I’m not exactly popular around the locker room these days.”

“Us, either,” he returned. It made her smirk.

“Who cares?” Dax dismissed. “Stick with us. We’ll make sure you have a good time.”

Callie glanced at him, and then at Cash. Something about his eyes made her feel calm. They were so warm and brown. Genuine. She smiled.

“Okay. Maybe I will.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Callie arrived fashionably late to the Labor Day Party. She tried to tell herself it was just because she hadn’t been able to decide what to wear, but she knew that wasn’t it. Even with Cash and Dax’s encouragement the day before, she’d needed to drum up the courage to go. A glass of rosé at the hotel bar had gotten her in the Uber and through the doors of Daily’s Place, but she’d need another drink if she was going to hang around.

The din of music and voices greeted her as she walked into the party. She glanced around, looking for a friendly face, only to realize she was subconsciously looking for Adam. She chastised herself and tried to push the thought aside—but she stopped. Adam was nowhere to be seen. She scanned the room again, just to make sure; he always stuck out at things like this. But again, she didn’t spot him.

She did, however, spot Alex. She was on the opposite end of the room, a wide smile on her face as she stood tucked into Kenny’s side talking with Cody, Brandi, and Tony. She probably knows where Adam is, she thought. But she ignored it and made a beeline for the bar. She ordered her usual and pulled her phone out of her purse to text Cash. They’d exchanged numbers yesterday, and she hadn’t spotted him, either—

“Hey.”

Callie’s mouth went dry. She locked her phone before she looked up at Matt. “Hey.”

She expected him to look angry, hurt, annoyed, something. But it didn’t look like he felt any of those things. His face was an unreadable mask. The bartender set her cocktail on the bar top. She picked it up and took a long sip.

“Didn’t care to tell me you were coming?”

There was some emotion. Aggravation, with a bit of resentment around the edges. She had to swallow before she could answer. “You knew I would be here, Matt,” she breathed. “The whole roster is.”

“Adam isn’t.”

Callie went rigid. That was more than just a statement. It was an accusation. “So when you didn’t see either of us here you thought what? That we were off somewhere else together?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Matt’s jaw flexed and he glanced away, caught. “Look, I’m sorry, alright? But can you blame me? You haven’t said a word to me since you bit my head off Saturday, Callie.”

Her eyes hardened. “I didn’t bite your head off.”

He scoffed. “You kinda did.”

“Well, can you blame me?”

“Hey.”

Kenny cautiously cut in. Alex peered at them from around his shoulder. Callie let out a breath and took another drink.

“I don’t mean to interrupt… but Tony wants to talk to us about that thing.”

Matt put his hands on his hips. But he nodded. “Yeah, fine,” he said, and he stalked away without a second glance.

Kenny turned back to Alex. “I’ll let you know when we’re done and then we can get outta here.”

“Okay,” she nodded, and he pecked her lips and went after Matt, leaving Callie and Alex suddenly and awkwardly alone.

“I’m just here to get another drink,” Alex said as she stepped past her to the bar. Callie hesitated. She knew she should just walk away; but she couldn’t help herself.

“Hey… have you heard from Adam at all?”

Alex glanced at her over her shoulder. She didn’t answer right away. “Um, yeah. I asked him if he was coming today and he said he didn’t feel up to it. But that’s it.”

Callie frowned, but she wasn’t surprised. If she’d been in his position, she probably wouldn’t have come, either.

The bartender placed Alex’s drink in front of her, but she didn’t pick it up. It looked like she was turning something over in her head, weighing whether she should say it. Callie was about to tell her to just spit it out when she fixed her with a hard stare.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you and Matt, and honestly I don’t care. It’s none of my business. But if there’s any part of you that still cares about Adam, I’d suggest rebounding with someone else.”

And with that said, she grabbed her drink and walked away, leaving Callie standing there, a knot in the pit of her stomach.

* * * * * * * * * *

As soon as Alex left, Callie got a text from Cash. He was at the pool with Dax, Shawn, and Shawn’s wife, Peyton, and he told her she should come join them (I think you’ll like Peyton, you two remind me of each other, he added). When she arrived, she was surprised to see they were the only people there. Cash smiled at her from the water as she walked toward the loungers.

“It’s about time! Did you get lost on the way from the hotel?”

She smirked as she set down her things. “Oh, have you been waiting on me?” she asked, only to blush at how flirtatious it sounded. But if Cash noticed, he didn’t seem to mind.

“Well, you have good timing. We were just about to set up the volleyball net and play a game.”

She nodded as she sat down to take off her shoes. “That sounds f—”

Her words died in her throat when she looked up and saw Cash climb out of the pool. Water trailed down his body, rippling over his chest and abdomen toward the low-slung waistband of his swim trunks. Callie felt her mouth go dry again as she caught herself staring at the muscular definition of his shoulders and pecs. Had he always been that good-looking?

“We should do guys versus girls!” an Australian-accented voice pulled her out of her daze. She looked back in the pool and recognized the speaker as Peyton Royce. She had an excited grin on her face that Callie couldn’t help but return.

“Oh, they won’t stand a chance.”

Dax formally introduced them while Cash and Shawn set up the volleyball net across the shallow end of the pool, and Callie stripped down to her bikini and lowered herself into the water. As they were an uneven number, they decided it would be Callie and Peyton versus Cash and Shawn with Dax as the referee. But just before Peyton could serve the ball, four more people walked into the pool area.

Orange, Chuck, Trent, and Alex.

They all noticed each other at once. Dax muttered something under his breath. Alex came to an abrupt halt, causing Trent to run into her. Callie tensed and looked at Cash, who looked at Alex, who looked at Callie.

And Peyton waved at them. “Oh, perfect! We were just about to have a game of volleyball. Wanna join?”

Callie sank into the water. Perfect.

None of them said anything at first. The silence was awkward as Chuck glanced around at Orange, Trent, and Alex. He shrugged.

“That sounds like a terrible idea. Let’s do it.”

* * * * * * * * * *

When Alex had told Callie to rebound with someone other than Matt, she hadn’t meant Cash. She thought that went without saying. Still, she’d tried not to jump to conclusions when she’d walked into the pool area and seen them together. After all, they weren’t alone. They were just co-workers hanging out at a company event. That’s it.

But, even if it was completely innocent, it still rubbed Alex the wrong away. She expected Cash to stoop so low—he was a duplicitous prick—but she was shocked at Callie’s thoughtlessness. She was glad Adam wasn’t there to see his ex literally jumping around in the pool with the guy who’d stabbed him in the back and taken his title.

“Hnnh!” she let out a grunt as she sprung up and spiked the ball over the net. It landed with a smack against the surface of the water right in between Callie and Peyton. At least hitting the ball was a good outlet for her agitation.

“Damn, Alex, this ain’t for the title,” Dax remarked from the side of the pool. She glowered at him—but Chuck fired back before she could.

“What’s the score, Dax?”

Dax’s beady eyes turned hard. “Ten-eight.”

“Ten-eight who?”

“Ten-eight you.”

“Damn right, it is,” Chuck muttered. Alex bit back a smirk.

They all reset, and Shawn served the ball. Chuck easily bumped it back, but when Callie scrambled to hit it over the net, it flew straight up into the air instead. Cash rushed forward as it came back down and whacked it as hard as he could—sending it flying like a missile right at Alex. She didn’t even have time to pivot before it beaned her hard in the shoulder and careened off into the water.

“Shit!” she cursed.

“Point!” Dax loudly proclaimed.

“Really?!” Chuck shouted. “You have something smart to say about Alex spiking the ball but nothing about Cash hitting it as hard as he can right at her?”

“Come on, it wasn’t on purpose,” Cash defended. He looked at Alex through the net. “I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

Alex gripped her shoulder as she stared back at him. It stung from the impact of the wet volleyball and was throbbing already. There would undoubtedly be a nice bruise there tomorrow. However, to Cash’s credit, he seemed genuinely remorseful—but then she noticed Callie roll her eyes over his shoulder. She bit down on her jaw.

“I’m fine.”

He frowned, but she turned away and looked at Trent. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.

She nodded. “Serve the ball.”

She rolled her shoulder and turned back to face the net. Trent served the ball. It went right to Peyton and she hit it back over. Orange popped it up, and just like she had before, Alex spiked the ball to the other side.

Crack!

“FUCK!”

Except that time, it hit Callie right in the face.

Blood poured from her nose and dripped into the pool. Peyton told her to pinch her nostrils and tilt her head forward. Cash rushed to her side through the water. He glared daggers at Alex.

“What the fuck, Alex?”

She opened her mouth to say it was an accident, to assure them it was, but no sound came out. Her vocal cords were frozen.

“It was an accident,” Trent returned.

“Didn’t look like it from here,” Dax chirped.

“Oh, shut up,” Chuck groaned.

“It was an accident!” Alex finally blurted. She looked at Callie’s retreating back as Cash helped her toward the pool steps. “Callie, I’m sorry.”

But she didn’t acknowledge her at all, and then Cash whisked her away, holding a towel to her nose. Thankfully, Dax went with them.

“Well, I guess that’s the end of that,” Shawn awkwardly announced. Peyton shot him a chastising look, and then they exited the pool and left, too.

Alex stared in silence into the water. Her nose burned. She hadn’t meant for that to happen. She hadn’t meant for Callie to get hurt. She didn’t want it to be like this between them anymore. She wanted her friend back.

“Hey,” Trent waded over to her. She felt him put his hand on the small of her back underneath the water. “It was an accident,” he gently repeated. “She’ll be alright.”

Alex’s nose burned even more when he said that. “I’m gonna go see if Kenny’s ready to leave,” she said, and she didn’t wait for a response before she climbed out of the pool, grabbed her things, and left.

* * * * * * * * * *

Steam fogged Callie’s hotel bathroom mirror. She wiped it clean with her hand, frowning at her reflection. The volleyball had left her with not one, but two black eyes—the left was worse than the right. At least it hadn’t broken her nose. But, at this point, a broken nose would have been the least of her problems.

She didn’t think Alex had done it on purpose. She’d said it was an accident and she believed her, no matter how much Dax had tried to convince her otherwise while Doc Samson had examined her. Afterward, as she’d left Daily’s Place with FTR, Tony had asked her if she would be good to wrestle the mixed tag match on Dynamite. She’d almost told him no. Not because of her nose, but because she wasn’t even sure she wanted to wrestle Alex anymore, let alone with Matt. She wondered if he’d heard what happened yet. She was already bracing herself for his reaction.

She dried off from her shower and wrapped a towel around herself as she walked out of the bathroom. She pulled her phone off the charger, and when the screen lit up, she saw she had a text from Cash.

How’s the nose?

She sighed as she typed out her reply. The nose is fine, but the eyes not so much. I have twin shiners.

She tossed the phone on the bed and started to walk away to get dressed, but it pinged again and she looked back at the screen.

That’s alright, you’ll just look like a bad ass for your match.

Callie bit back a grin. She opened the text to write back, but those three dots appeared. Cash was typing again—and she didn’t expect his next message.

Are you up to get dinner? My treat.

Her gaze turned distant as she stared at the text, her thumbs hovering over the screen. She didn’t know what to make of his offer. Was it platonic? Did he feel sorry for her like he had when they’d gotten dinner last month? Or was it something more?

But it couldn’t be something more. It would be way too messy. Messier than Matt.

Then why did she want to say yes?

She shook her head of the thought as her fingers flew over the keyboard. Thanks, but I’ve already decided on room service and trash TV tonight. But I’ll take a rain check?

She bit her lip and hit send before she could stop herself. The three dots popped up near instantly.

I’m good with a rain check. How about tomorrow? I was actually gonna ask if you wanted me to show you around Orlando since you’re here.

Callie’s eyebrows arched. In trying to dodge a bullet, she’d only to given him more ammo. “Fuck.”

Knock-knock-knock.

She jumped at the sound of someone at her door. “One minute!” she called. She tossed her phone aside and hurried to get dressed, thankful for the interruption. But when she pulled open the door, her stomach dropped.

Matt. His brow furrowed with concern when he saw her. “Jesus, are you alright? I heard what happened at the party.”

“I’m fine,” she said. “Who told you?”

“Tony,” he answered. And then, “And when I asked where you were, he told me you left with FTR.”

Callie fidgeted with the door handle. “Yeah. They gave me a ride back to the hotel. I didn’t really feel like sticking around after getting hit in the face with a volleyball.”

A short, breathy laugh escaped Matt’s lips and he looked away down the hall. Callie’s brow furrowed. “Is that a problem?”

“What’s going on, Callie? I mean, just over a week ago you were in my bed, planning on moving back to California, and now you’re avoiding me.”

His eyes bore into hers. Hurt, angry, just like they’d been when he’d confronted her at the party. Callie had to look away. It gutted her to see it.

“You can’t even look at me.”

“I’m confused, okay?” she blurted. “This all happened way too fast.”

Her heart pounded in her ears and her chest constricted. She hadn’t wanted it to come out like that, but she felt backed into a corner. And if Matt had looked hurt before, he looked positively betrayed now.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, I guess it did.”

And with one final hard look he turned and left, and for the second time that day Callie was left alone and even more conflicted than she’d been before.

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