#(<— I REMEMBER ABOUT THIS TAG WOW)
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hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???
i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)
#rambling#and idk but like if this incentivises you to do some stretches too then that's great! remember to be kind to yourself#but im mostly directing this at myself because i was thinkng about these things while doing a 15 min stretch routine and i feel silly#but silly is okay as long as i keep going#edit: haha wow this post blew up. im gonna tag it with a few things to maybe help me find it later if necessary#sisyphus#body maintenance#popular post
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i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good
#getou suguru#kaneki ken#abyss twin#i know there are others who im not thinking of rn#feel free to reblog with more examples#aphelion.txt#tropes#WAIT I REMEMBERED MORE#jaina proudmoore#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#phosphophyllite#i just spent like half an hour trying to find this on tv tropes but it must be. Too specific of a thing i have in mind bc#I just kept finding similar and related but too broad categories#despair event horizon. fallen hero. well intentioned extremist. etc etc etc#like specifically i'm talking about when the character's EMPATHY is the CRUX of the problem. sosooo crunchyjuicytasty#edit:#also just know that i am reading every tag on this post#and enthusiastically scribbling down the names i dont recognizr#so i can check out their series later#edit 2 wow this post blew up 🫡 godspeed fellow villain likers#the amount of people tagging this as 'me lmao' is concerning to me#wwx#how did i fucking forget this was also yllz era wwx
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like father like son
hes just toji but smol
#art#digital art#artblr#lotus drawdles#artists on tumblr#jjk fushiguro#jjk fanart#jjk#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jujutsu kaisen#megumi fushiguro#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#wow i was wondering why the tags looked so dry and then i remembered that its obligatory for me to rant here.#no wonder the tag process was so short last time... lmao i completely forgot#anyway expect more gojo megumi father son content because i love their dynamic#au where megumi grows up getting raised by gojo pls.#better yet make it satosugu and have him get two extra stepsisters#also the second image is probably the most fun ive ever had while drawing lmao#i love baby megumi hes so cute#present megumi is also very cute#blorbo#i want to squeesh his cheeks#sorry about gojo though idrk how to draw him lol#its not actually the first time ive drawn him. but it is the first time ive drawn him hair down#anyway bye bye. im thinking about opening commissions right now
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live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)
cast reveal and girls movie night 🔥
#i actually had the first three pages done for like. months now. and then i just forgot 🧍♂️#theres one more part to this but as to when ill finish that. haha#duck scribbles#minicomic tag#midoyuzu#and a bit of tomohaji on the side#doodles#enstars#midori takamine#hajime shino#yuzuru fushimi#tori himemiya#ibara saegusa#this is. a lot better quality than the first initial one amsdkjgshdgsmd i kindaa wanna redo it but its already a multiple part one i dont#think ill do that to myself rn akjdgskjwkjgjkd#its been 8 months i doubt anyone would remember the initial one but its ok u dont have to read it#i completely made up this manga and am now a little sad its not a thing that exists#i wish haruno was a real character i could post mangacaps of#thought too hard about it and there isnt any way to fit it into here but there is also a fourth character harunos childhood gyaru friend#also in love w her. she ends up having some sort of alliance with naoto but obviously its in vain too but its all chill#manga ends with haruno opening her dream cafe and asahi later joins her there after training a new team to take care of their old one#naoto becomes a regular there also w his new bf :] happy ending !!!#wow i have drawn Way too much lately. forgive me for such behavior ill probably be posting a lot less from here on out askjdgksjhgs#needed the food for when im away from my laptop for a week....#guess ill never get to finish that other lil comic i had planned for that sleepover drawing i made back during rarepair week </3#does anyone actually read these anyhow. i talk too much maybe
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Was.... was the ship Franky found after being hit by the sea train possibly the abandoned "Laboratory For Peace"??? Like, y'know, the MADS ship/headquarters?
Wait. That would... actually explain how Franky was able to run into such a strange ship. Completely devoid of people, yet full of technology and machinery that's almost never seen in the One Piece world. OK, damn. Incorporating that in my belief system.
Like, the design checks out, right? Look at the tall shape and the circular windows. Especially if you ignore the fact that this depiction of it seems to be intentionally "cutesy" and cartoony, since it's meant to evoke Lu Feld's propaganda about the true intentions of MADS.
#one piece#one piece meta#franky#cyborg franky#franky one piece#mads one piece#talltales#sorry I'm in a WCI to Egghead reread and seeing and remembering things is driving me insane#I know I talk a lot about MADS but that's because I've always had mad scientist brainrot and also they're the most bulliable villains in OP#which makes them interesting in a morbid 'wow they're terrible. I'm intrigued.' kinda way.#but also Franky. This is about him.#op meta tag
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He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.
— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)
+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):
#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#jason teague#lionel luthor#clark isn't in these scenes but they're still very much#clex#sv 4x21#sv 7x20#dcmultiverse#my gifs#'why can't you see what's right in front of your face lex?' god. god. godddd.#I think there's a really interesting discussion to be had (with many potential viewpoints)#re: to what extent lex actually knew the truth either consciously or subconsciously at any particular time#and how much he was just in denial about it (and why)#I'm not really prepared to have that discussion in these tags but like#let's face it - lex figured out that clark had powers all the way back in 1x12#just because clark convinced him he was wrong at the time doesn't mean he just forgot that whole thing#and yet it seemed like the more seasons went on and the more obvious the truth became#especially the fact that clark was so heavily tied to all the alien weirdness of smallville#the more lex seemed to (subconsciously?) push back against accepting or recognizing that truth#I mean that's literally what he's doing in the 4x21 scene with jason#so it's like he both desperately wanted to know clark's secret but also didn't want to know at all#and that's just SO interesting#I mean jesus the 7x20 scene is supposed to be peak evil lex and yet he STILL has to be pushed into accepting the truth#and he does so with his eyes glistening because yeah he wanted to know clark's secret once upon a time but he never wanted THIS#(remember when lex told jonathan in s1 that he just wanted clark to have a happy normal life bc clark was such a good person?#and then he's told in 7x20 that to save the world he has to KILL clark and take that life away from him hahaha [crying] it's fine I'm FINE)#wow I really said 'I'm not prepared to have this discussion' and then just. proceeded to have it anyway huh. lmao oops
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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I started doodling greek gods, it's over for me. I have to accept that I'm officially addicted to epic the musical
#doodle dump#epic the musical#athena#4 years.... 4 years only doodling random stfuff#now look at me drawing again#this one is only sketch BUT I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO WORK ON SOMETHING???#2019 dorothy is back lord have mercy on me#going back to drawing made me remember how much I hate painting#Im working on something that look almost exactly as I pictured BUT I CANT PAINT FOR SHIT#I just know the second i put some colors it will ruin the drawing#maybe I should turn all my works on coloring book typa shit so other people can paint for me lol#went in a long rant about something unrelated to the doodle aint that amazing#btw this is my first time drawing an owl and im actually proud#(also unrelated but GOD have i missed posting random shit and then going onto long rants on the tags)#back to epic the musical: sometimes I'll be listening to some song and just think “wow i could do a funny comic about this-”#LIKE HOW TF AM I BACK TO THIS?? ITS HAMILTON ALL OVER AGAIN I NEED REHAB CALL THE POLICE CALL THE CHURCH CALL MY THERAPIST
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i know i dont post anything to tumblr ever usually but uhhhthe autism has me by the throat? so. noncanon siffrin family!! first image has siffrin having a great ole breakdown after finding a drawing he did of him & his family (when he was like. 7 lol) in a glass bottle, second photo is of their younger sister, phoebe! color (and a shitpost) + more information on the family under the cut
so phoebe. dear darling girl. she's rock-paper type and is super into research and stuff! like a scientist but she can kick your ass. love her a lot. she's about 6 years younger than siffrin is!
also in the drawing that i didn't mention is siffrin and phoebe's parents, mama rhea (she/her, left, missing an eye!) and baba dione (they/them, right) i love these guys so much. yes all of them are named after saturn's moons, thank lati @cryptidlatias for them (siffrin's born name was janus. none of them remember that, though.)
#kitty.txt#xayvie's art#in stars and time#siffrin isat#not going to put too many tags bc i get a little self conscious (i don't know why i was gripped by the want to post these but its here!!)#but for real i really like these guys#rhea missing an eye is why i imagine siffrin is so indifferent about it#even if he doesnt remember it#rhea and dione sent the little bottle with the photo out with the hopes that maybe the person who they know must have been their child#would see it. you don't just forget an entire kid exists. especially not when their room is left the same#its really sad though. like wow its heartbreaking thinking about how sif lost his family and#his family lost siffrin in turn#but phoebe grown up acts a lot like both mirabelle and isabeau together. which is funny#there's a lot to unpack frankly but its fine. love these guys
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Scratch is Lillith Evidence
I've kind of accepted this as canon but I havent really seen anyone compile all the evidences so uh here for anyone curious
Kayne first references her in Part 20 which does reveal that Lillith exists in Malevolent:
In part 37, when John, Arthur and Oscar are exploring the barn, John sees a painting of a woman with pale skin and dark hair and seems to go into a kind of trance when he looks at her (which. Gestures. Lillith. Gestures. Succubus-y powers. Gestures)
Later when they open the gateway in Part 38, Scratch merges with a woman who looks exactly like the one in the painting and she's described as having "alabaster skin", aka world's most highly specific descriptor, which also happens to the same description used in the Lillith entry in the Malleus Monstorum for CoC seventh edition (BIG THANKS TO @/unsafewaters for sending the images to me)
And then in Intermezzo, Kayne directly mentions having a daughter and claims that she would "love" Arthur which could tie back to him being Her Favourite. Also I don't like using evidence that isn't in the source material but in the post season 4 QnA, when Harlan's reading out the notes he wrote for Intermezzo, one of the things he reads out is the daughter line, which implies it was important enough to mention (and wasn't just a throwaway joke)
And last but not least, Yorick mentions that Scratch/Owlexander/the entity watching them is close in power to Kayne which would make sense if he created her
Also earlier in the episode, Yorick implied Scratch may be working against Kayne specifically which does imply they have a pre existing relationship which would make sense if she was Lillith:
Extra evidence: In the fake Edward Willaim Allan's journal, he has an entry where talks about how, despite the fact he distrusts his "dream dweller" (who we know is Scratch pre fracturing), something about them still fills him with awe and he feels oddly seduces by them:
Which is likely Lillith using her powers to influence him and make him easier to manipulate (since it's heavily implied, if not basically explicitly stated, she was using him to open a gateway for her to enter the world)
Also! Semi unrelated but while I have your attention and talking about theories! I just wanna highlight a minor theory of mine that there's a high chance Kayne trapped Lillith in some kind of pocket dimension or prison of sorts because the prison line (from the second to last screenshot in this post) feels like foreshadowing and I find it odd that if she supposedly is close to him in power, she would need a humans help to travel through worlds (Also, she's framed as getting "freed" in part 38 when they do eventually open the gateway which leads to the question: free from what?) so that's something to consider
#TELL ME IF I MISSED ANYTHING GEN. I WILL ADD IT#lillith malevolent#lilith malevolent#malevolent#malevolent podcast#scratch malevolent#spoilers#????#BTW PROPS TO ME FOR SUCCESSFULLY HOLDING BACK THE URGE TO DERAIL THE WHOLE POST TO MAKE IY ABOUT PIPE DREAM 😭#<- every time i remember fake Edward Willaim Allan ks like. a real malevolent character (who canonically is implied to have been sedcued by#lillith) and not my little self indulgent guy who i made up and added to malevolent lore. i feel insane#<- I MEAN? I DO LIKE. MAKE SOME SHIT UP ABOUT HIM BUT LIKE?? I GET SURPRISED WJEN I REMEMBER OH SHIT. THEY JUST. CANONICALLY HAD A#RELATIONSHIP OF SORTS??? LIKE? SURE WE DONT KNOW IF IT WAS PLATONIC. PURELY TRANSACTIONAL . SEXUSL OR ROMANTIC. BUT THEY LIKE. CANONICALLY#HAD A SEMI RELEVANT DYNAMIC AND RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT LITERALLY LED TO HER GETTING FRACTURED. like wow thats canon i didng make that up#wdym my rarepair has plot relevance and is supported by the text (so far). i feel insane. OKAY ANYWAYS. WAY TO DERAIL THE POST IN MY TAGS 😭#txt#malevolent theory#<- forgot that one oops
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HELP! I've fallen down a Bering and Wells hole again and can't stop watching fanvids. I misssssss them!!! 😢
#I'm also thinking about a platonic Pete & Myka soulmate AU and all the bickering that would come with it#Like Pete trying to feel out what the rules are for him dating someone if she and him are soulmates#and Myka's like 'I literally never want to talk about who you have sex with ever'#“But-” / “NOPE! Just do whatever you want Pete!”#And then later as joke (but delivered completely seriously) she says she wants full approval of any serious relationship he has#And she'll be the one planning the proposal for him#(No no no! That's not happening.)#Actually! She might just play matchmaker for him too because she's not sure she can trust his judgement#... or his ability to make a good first impression.#“You wanted my input remember?” / “Not like that!”#And then even LATER when she meets Amanda for the first time she's like 'Wow that's your ex-wife? Man you really fucked up there."#“Yeah thanks for that Myka. That's very helpful.”#“No chance of winning her back?”#“Winning back my ex-wife who's about to be remarried? No I think that ship has sailed.”#“Yeah.... My ex girlfriend is a hologram now so at least this is a step up from that.”#“I never agreed to HG being your girlfriend.”#“.... Yeah but I wanted to.”#“.... Okay this is getting way too gloomy for a wedding day. We need to stuff ourselves with cake.”#Warehouse 13#Myka Bering#Pete Lattimer#Helena Wells#Bering and Wells#my fic#(I guess accidentally in the tags lol)#(idk I'm tired man. My head is all over the place today :P)
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revalink au where revali is the world's most stuck up coffee connoisseur. he owns 3 separate espresso machines, he can lecture about different brewing methods all day long, he only drinks coffee made with ethically sourced beans from high-end cafes
meanwhile link drinks the shittiest coffees known to man. either they're unfathomably sweet or they're a horrendous concoction of something like instant coffee powder in lukewarm water with a shot of vodka
so ofc they fall in love <3
#revali spends all his time lecturing link abt taking better care of his body and drinking actually good coffee#meanwhile link is pouring straight shots of celcius energy drinks into his coffee and mixing them with twizzlers#have u guys seen that one post about mixing candy with some energy drink and op got a heart attack#yeah that's link#anyways I think they would be cute together like this#yall this has been sitting in my drafts since FEBRUARY that's so embarrassing 😭😭#shoutout to users kapncrunch and what-a-fella who probably don't even remember but they helped me come up with this#revalink#revali#link#the legend of zelda#tloz#legend of zelda#loz#breath of the wild#botw#crow's revalinkverse#wow haven't used that tag in a while
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Forest walk
#On Monday we celebrated a friend's birthday and accidentally wandered into the forest part of the city (it was my and my friend idea hehe)#In addition to photos with each other I was able to take a couple of photos in the forest!#It wasn't the best weather for a b-day but it was still fun :D#you can also see we don't have snow and this is sad! I wanna snow :[#folli's photo#(<— I REMEMBER ABOUT THIS TAG WOW)#forest#photography#photo#trees#tree#nature#moss#times fly and I still don't know what tags to use for photos wow
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oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#‘ann werent you just pairing olivia with thar—‘ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigo’s way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his mother’s grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble he’ll insist upon bringing—#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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Something something about the Third Doctor and the fate of Tantalus. You're trapped in one place. Everything you want, that you once took for granted is right there in front of you, you can see it you can reach for it but you can never have it. You will never attain it on your own. Your fate is dependent on the mercy or cruelty of others and you hate it and you rage against it but you can’t do anything, your defiance is treated like nothing but a childish tantrum but you refuse to beg, you won’t get that desperate no matter how long you’re trapped here, no matter how low you’re brought down. You stand among humans and you look human but you’re not, you’re an animal in a cage with them and you’re the only one who can see the bars. Gnawing and hacking at them to no avail. And yet all you can do is wait and hope and try and fail in an endless loop until an outside force interferes to free you from your prison. The carrot and the stick. How does it feel to be on the receiving end?
#even when his exile is lifted and he gets his tardis back he still can’t get jamie and zoe back#he’ll never be able to#the doctor’s always lost companions but until that point they’d always chosen to leave#this was the first instance where he lost them#no not lost they were TAKEN from him#the doctor was ripped apart mentally and physically and emotionally#and he has to live with that#knowing that they’re living their lives without him as if nothing happened#(and even in jamie’s case he’s not sure considering Jamie was basically dropped into the middle of a battlefield)#only that he can never see them again#bc they won’t know him they won’t remember any of the adventures the fun the quiet moments spent together#he’s the only one who knows who remembers#and what he can’t bear more than anything is having them look at him with no recognition in their eyes#having them ask him who he is and not reacting in any way when he says “i’m the doctor”#not to mention how easily he was exiled and punished#he triumphed over daleks and cybermen and so many other creatures#but in the face of the time lords he was rendered helpless so easily#they trapped him took his tardis and his connection and his knowledge and his companions away and forced him to regenerate just like that#and now the time lords are aware of his existence and probably keeping an eye on him#in case they need him for anything (aka jobs to do for them)#reduced to a boy put in time out and then an errand boy#doctor who#classic who#third doctor#3rd doctor#my thoughts#wow that’s a lot of tags i’m sorry#i got carried away#i just can’t stop thinking about the tragedy of it all#in two’s ending and three’s beginning and their companions
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