#( you woke him up guys ; you did this )
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thinking about this right now
#nettsy rambling#nsr#struggling for words rn because i woke up like 45 minutes ago but are you guys seeing the parallel here#thinking about how both west and eve said these things during their frenzied/angered(?) rants#in which they both tear down zuke in a perhaps unsuccessful attempt at making them feel better about themselves/'greater' than him#and therefore undeserving of his [defiance] ...#(as in. disappearing and suddenly having formed Bunk Bed Junction after everything they did together#and 'stealing my friends AND my girl' in west's case)#[for the record 'defiance' is probably NOT the word but it's the closest thing to what i'm attempting to convey here]#anyways#... all of which i think was really just Zuke growing and developing as His Own person. separate from both eve and his brother#who i'm assuming were the Main forces in his life during his college career#*scratches head*#hiding this in the tags because idk well i articulated it#but you get what i mean right
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man i love open endings. the fact that thanks to yuuji there might indeed be the next time sukuna talks about in case some idiot decides to eat a finger again. and we need fics where yuuji is that idiot
#hiding this in the tags but i think jjk and mha kinda conveyed the same concept#i haven’t mentioned it because sukuita always steals 100% of my attention but gojo’s moment was great too! as i said i think gege stayed#true to his characters till the end and i’ve always thought gojo coming back to life was absolute bs not because i didn’t want him back but#because it would completely ruin what was trying to be told through his story. he carried out the destiny he was doomed to carry out and#gege even specified this for us and /why/ it’s going to be different for yuuji#it can also be found in the way gojo and sukuna fought vs yuuji and sukuna#and it’s rly similar to horikoshi’s concept of the new generation reaching out to the villains and trying to understand them & /that/ is#what ‘the greatest hero’ truly means#ok now i’m digressing because gojo was more about himself and the title he was stuck with but it’s all so similar you know#which brings me to my point (finally)#the fact that the villains always ‘loses’ in the end. and i’m thinking that letting them live would be such a risky direction to take bc#it’s so easy to make it either corny or unrealistic. if the whole thing is about succeeding in reaching out then it’s going to happen at the#very last. and realistically it’s going to be too late. they’re going to be too far gone and it sucks but that’s how it is#shoto can discuss soba with touya but he’s still slowly dying. you know#so the best we can hope for is that the battle the villain fought at least leaves a mark and they sure did#something something the bad guy changing the good guy as much as he changed him#so yeah um maybe i am making sense maybe i am not but i woke up this morning and kinda went insane because it dawned on me that yuuji gave#sukuna another chance to life taking himself out of the equation#UGH. CIGARETTE EMOJI#speaking of which i’ve been (im)patiently waiting for olasketches and cruyuu’s reactions#my fave people on tumblr are genuinely the first people i think about after something good happens#my post
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had a dream last night that rt put out a new rvb restoration trailer and it had all these references to how tucker didn’t want to be the meta and was suffering inside the suit
also for some reason the fans didn’t believe it was actually tucker in the suit so they did a face reveal only it was excellent and everyone loved it
and then tucker STABBED CAROLINA THROUGH THE CHEST WITH HIS SWORD
#apollo im begging you don’t make this true#it was horrible tucker was like screaming and was very conscious of the fact that he was hurting his friends and did not want to#like esigma was controlling his actions but not his reactions#and no one wanted to hurt him bc he was also their friend and so they didn’t know what to do#guys it was Not Cool#i honestly woke up thinking that the face reveal happened#rvb
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y'all are lucky it's an emerald kick i'm on right now and not an oras one because i get weird and feral about how characters in oras are aware of the narrative they're in and react differently to it depending on which game you're playing
#pepe silvia meme dot png#listen. listen. if you're playing alpha sapphire then you're the antagonist in archie's story.#if you're playing omega ruby maxie's the antagonist in your story and he leans into the role with glee.#(also he's much friendlier than people give him credit for. he has a whole monologue in seafloor cavern about how#happy he is to see you even though he knows you're about to fuck up his plans#and archie does NOT have equivalent dialogue in alpha sapphire he just gets right into kicking your ass)#(i'm so normal about maxie you guys)#when zinnia asks if you've ever had to hold back your grief... if you answer ''no'' she LAUGHS#and says ''don't you know you're supposed to agree? and then we can share a touching moment of pain?''#i'm also totally normal about zinnia#god#''don't you know you're supposed to agree'' fucked me up so bad and all i did was read about it on bulbapedia#there's no place like hoenn#<- resurrecting this old tag#edited to add: ALSO ''s/he's the hero. right?''#GOD I LOVE ZINNIA#broke: zinnia did nothing wrong. woke: zinnia did everything wrong while speedrunning the five stages of grief
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He’s my little meow meow, my darling, my bbygirl (Patreon)
#Doodles#Commander Peepers#I'm soooooo normal about him you guys <3 So normal! <3 <3#*Looking back over the other Little Guys I've collected* Hmmmmmmm Evil Xisuma and Spamton and Sableye and Rick Diggins#I think there might be a theme here#Just casually making Venn Diagrams in my head - Evil X has the red/black - Spamton is trans - Sableye has Gremlin energy - Rick is too tired#And those are just the ones I can think of lol - if you look I did the same stretchy pose with EX when I was still drawing him lol#The Stretch Pose is how you can tell if I like a character lol - they stretchin'? I am infatuated <3#I mean I'm normal I'm totally normal lol#Also had to give him a bbygrl pose - I for the life of me cannot find it again but the reference is very strong in my mind's eye!#Not that I couldn't go for another one at some point lol ♪#Ugh the middle one lol - so that Word of God I mentioned in passing about female Watchdogs#I read it in passing as just a basic research of ''Oh here's what The Original Creator has to say alright neat''#Except that it Immediately made me itchy and I was like ''What. What brain this is not that big of a deal what are you doing''#And I was like ''No I'm being silly about this - just because I don't agree doesn't mean it's a big deal lol''#Except then I had stress dreams and woke up Weird the next day and the last time that happened I left a fandom#And the time before that I wrote 4 consecutive pages of 20-something panels in like 18 hours of consciousness - I have normal reactions lol#But I opted instead to vent to smol about it and she agreed with me so basically I'm just saying I'm correct lol /s#Personally Peepers doesn't strike me as misogynistic - he's very much an Equal Opportunity villain in my eyes!#And yeah I considered a lot of different angles around it but like - based on the text of WOY I just don't buy it#If it's not in the show it doesn't count! For all we know there might not even be any female Watchdogs! Lol#Would also lead to the equally-to-Spamton interesting question of How Does Trans Work in that kind of situation#I've definitely not already put a lot of thought into it don't look at me lol#Don't ask me to write an essay about both of those things I'll do it and where will that leave us lol#ANYway lol ♪ He's still the absolute funnest to draw in distress and discomfort <3 And kneeling! He makes me want to practice :D#I always feel like I can try again and do better! >:3c
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So did you guys, Charmer specifically, murder the baby Titans? You remind me of the villain from that one game I used to play. The guy disguised himself (or maybe in your case, had people disguise themselves to do your bidding) as someone trustworthy and approachable then led the kids to a room where he brutally killed them. Did you do something similar, Charmer? Or had "followers" do it for you?
The Charmer: I think you're glossing over the part where you played a game where you played a person who would kill children? Willingly?? What would the purpose of this as a game even be? Is there some functional benefit to brutally murdering children in this game, that cannot be achieved by any other means? You also aren't being clear about whether real children died to play this game.
#ask blog#ask the archivists#asks are open#toh the archivists#the owl house#toh#toh oc#the archivists#id in alt text#the fact I woke up this fucking morning to someone comparing him to WILLIAM AFTON#the way I screamed#unfortunately she's a bit too cool toned to be some sort of purple guy#her answer does give insight to why he did it though#he believed there was a functional benefit to doing so that couldn't be achieved any other way#also she KNOWS better than to admit to doing any of that#but I absolutely had to answer this so everyone who follows me is forced to see this comparison#video games are not guaranteed to exist on every planet so he might not immediately think of one when you say 'game'
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awesome. ive had Nightmares two nights in a row now
#my whole family was murdered except for my brother who managed to escape#i was dead. i was very much shot in the face and killed#i also nesrly escaped but one of the guys saw me and asked if i wanted it to be painless.#i said 'just do it from here please. please dont make me come to you.'#and then pov switched to following my brother.and i eventually realized it was me following him#i just remember thinking i have to watch over him. i have to make sure he stays alive. i have to make sure he doesnt kill himself.#then i remember my body being.. semi autopsied ? people after the murder were looking over my body. at my teeth and gums. my hands.#i was concious as this was happening. i was rhinking how i cant just 'wake up' right now#but i eventually did when they went to look at the rest of my family's bodies. and i guess i left to find my brother for Real#i met a kid at a seven eleven who was talking about raggedy ann dolls to me. i like. wasnt all bloody and Bullet Holed anymore#but i remember thinking'why isnt she scared of all the blood on me'#i kinda woke up after that#idk. its early 1 am now. that sucked. goodnight for real.#first one was just my dad being a dickhead and disrespecting 1 my time and 2 my physical boundaries Sitting too close to me and guilting me#over ‘making him feel bad’ over both those things#dream journal
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vash w this hairstyle is literally so cute.. .. wolfwood matchies or smt T__T
#litearlly dont talk 2 me i saw the knives panel again and smashed everuthing inmy room and set myself on fire#am i wrong 4 thinking that he shouldve had a little more time.am i wrong for thinking this guy.having lived in terrible fear#his whole life 4 what he thought could happen 2 him. to his brother. DID happen 2 his sister#should be able 2 experience some happiness and comfort for once#like yeah the guy killed hundreds of thousands SUREE ok.AND??? let the guy breathe a little#BAHAHA no i think i do still agree w the ultimate ending of him using the last of his energy 2 generate that apple tree#its sweet and i do like the sentiment it was just. Too.soon after it was literally right after#and im like coughing and hacking and wishing.that he and vash couldve spent those few months living (somewhat) peacefully#and secluded.before everything that happened#i guess there is a bittersweet tinge to knives dying before vash woke up / could say gbye but idk.i just grieve 4 this guy#even if a clean redemption isnt like#feasible in a sense U KNOW!!!!!!! but then again i dont think. satisfying endings have to be clean cut and perfect#like he doesnt have to be redeemed i think. not everyone needs Redemption as it exists in its current form#&& i do think that even after all he did.comma.he wasnt entirely wrong?like you cant rly blame him 4 rejecting coexistence#based on the way plants have historically been treated (assuming he also telepathized with exploited plants after the great fall)#though not to say that his decisions/methodology is right ykwim#and i know yeaa yeaa there was a lot of hypocrisy in how he used the other plants 2 amass power#ok this is literally getting too convoluted there r so many conditional aspects to this but long story short i do thnk he deserved.#a little something at the end;______; even if just 4 me to see art of them together post-final arc .#< me dragging my knuckles in the sand w open wounds or smth#sry vash post turned into knives sadblogging EHAHEHA but its like the nature of this^ guys life anyways LMAO#trigun spoilers#trigun maximum#trigun#vash
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Interview. Interview. Oh Another interview. Interview. Interview. Guess what's next? An interview that a manager is like "Today at 2pm sound good?" which I took bc yeah, it was good...
I'm tired.
Now will ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY Call Me Back???
#taks speaks#literally woke up to an email from a place that interviewed me two days ago saying i wasn't selected for an interview#like??? What???#YOU JUST INTERVIEWED ME#there's one of them that i'm hoping for bc it has the lovely 8-5 hours. not per shift. just being open#and it's a tourist trap#that has good health benefits and gets me into other tourist traps around town For Free +3 guests max#like hello. dad can visit. bring both sisters. we're going touristing#and sea world at 50% off which is pretty damn cool#i'm gonna start harassing them daily on the phone as of wednesday#if that gas station food prep job doesn't get back#which pays a touch more with a 10% discount on GAS#BUT they're the ones who sent that weird email this morning saying i didn't make it to the interview stage which um#why? what? you talked to me twice?#I'm QUALIFIED? It's the same damn job i previously had but for a gas station. i mean come on#ugh. my lowest quality options are part time at a busier and more annoying tourist trap#or *sighs* dominos.#at least dominos gets good tips tho#everyday for like. the last week has been interviews#except yesterday which tbh i slept most of it#i need a fuckin job dude. come on#i have also created a list of managers i would rather be interviewed by#at the bottom of the list is intimidating older woman. next is slightly younger than that woman who thinks i don't look local enough#somewhere in the middle is that really chill old lady who gave me advice about chafing in the heat. great lady#and top is black man in his 20s. very chill. easy to talk to. i've been interviewed by two and the first one was younger than me#and i intimidated him. bc i knew more about interviewing laws than he did. whoops. missed out on the job but he was nice#today's though? KNEW HIS SHIT. Perfect manager. I'd want to work for him. Chill. easy to talk to and understood the laws well#...just realized the bar is that low. wow.#sadly he's the dominos guy and that job is second to last on my preferred list#i have most definitely noticed that the person interviewing you sets the daily tone for the job
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Have you ever gotten so furiously spitting mad in a dream it wakes you up?
#apparently i will be extremely pissed off if someone interrupts a play based on my favorite book and tries to coopt it into nazi shit#which idk why they would even try to do that with catch 22 but let me tell you i was extremely pffended on joseph hellers behalf#my opening line was did you chucklefucks even read the book?#i mean the first line is the first time yossarian saw the cjaplan he fell deeply in love with him#anyway i woke up just incredibly pissed lol#the book is about the futility of war and how the glorification of it just leads to young men spilling their guts in the back of the plane#ughhhh anyway i dont even know where my brain could have dredged that whole situation up from#if dreams are supposed to be a way to help you process the events of the day#i fuckin worked 12 hours and nothing eventful happened except for making jokes about the guy who calls in every weekend calling in again#and how to get holiday pay je would have had to work today and he knew it so why does he keep calling in#i mean granted the weather was so good this weekend it was a shame we had to work but like. bitches need money#anyway#idk i dont have nightmares that often#but apparently i also have. idk what even to call this. ragemare?#fuck
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#i had such an odd dream#harry louis and zayn were there#they were crashing at my house for some reason????#louis and zayn in my old bedroom#and harry on another one#and at some point i had a doubt and i looked at my old bedroom wall to make sure my drawings of them weren't still on the walls#and harry asked me what's going on so I straight up told him “you guys used to be on my walls#eh you still are but I'd rather keep it down in my new bedroom“#and then we started talking about merch somehow and i was like you guys make way too expensive merch I'm broke#and i kid you not i went 'no but listen to me i have the perfect solution'#and i proceeded to say#if i buy merch from every single one of you it costs way too much BUT! if you guys get back together i just need to buy one LMAO#i said 1d reunion to Harry's face#sadly I didn't talk with louis or zayn they were there but there was always something in the way :(#and I don't remember but we had some kind of event for wich we dresses up#but i only remember that after harry was still in his white tux standing in my kitchen for a while either doing nothing or helping with smt#there were puppies around but seemed to be a separated thing#i never saw them interact#nor did i see harry louis and zayn interact#I'm still trying to make it all make sense#anyway sorry if you read all that#i just woke up
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Happy poetry month! In the spirit of the month, what's your favourite poem? I'm not an avid poetry reader but mine is We Only Want the Earth.
Ooooh I'll have to check that one out, I don't think I've read it!
Hmmm as for favorite poem, there's a few I throw out as my top poem with frequency, but here I've got to say The Bridge by C. Dale Young. I just adore its positivity and the way it isn't afraid to be in love with the small details of life. That's just a feeling I relate with so much in my life and the whole poem is SUCH a vibe. Think I called it my idea of the world's greatest love poem in an essay once (which is def A Claim which idk if I'd fully back up now but the vibes are there) because it isn't just a poem about being in love with someone, it's loving everything they do and everything around you and loving just the world as a whole and how you see it everyday. Its such a vibe fr
Just- THIS !!!! ^^^^^^
#i love the way the mind runs the path from bubbles to dandelions... ME TOO KING!!!!!!#he just gets it. imo#i had to make a poetry collection for class once (i ranked this guy no 4 actually rip mr young i failed you here)#but i titled it after this poem and did this beautiful sketch of like the gg bridge over the bay or whatever the fuck water source (ive only#been to the airport lmao idk the geography in sf with detail) with like dandelions and a bunch of stuff in colored pencil it was so pretty#ANYWAYS what a blast. what a poem what a life etc.#i mean honestly once you start a poem with “i love” youre already flying high. like sentiment of all time for real. me fucking too bro#<if i sound crazy here i do NOT regret it. it is 4am though here and i just woke up after like 3hrs sleep to get driven back to college#after coming home for easter so like. whatever the fuck i was saying. we vibe#answered#THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK!!!! and the boops mwah <3#i cant superboop anyone bc im on mobile but feel booped superly etc.#omg wait that make me think of superman... clark the man you are... ahdjahs sorry now i really sound kooky lmao <3#i would boop him though. v boopable. or id let lois do it. shed enjoy that#ALSO I GOT NEW EARBUDS SO IM LISTENING TO MUSIC FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AGES#so i dont have to listen to my dads audiobook. instead julieta venegas is currently getting me through it. ily babe
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Claps hands alright we’re doing this! So I started listening to magnus archives a few months ago and it really did things to my writing ideas, so now I’m gonna round some up and post ‘em.
I forget where/when I first saw a moth!jon but u know. He’s cute. So here is some moth!jon AU! Corruption Jon :Dc and archivist Sasha! ~1800 words.
Since he is a corruption avatar in this, there is (as expected) some possibly gross bug imagery, but not a lot of holes. And no worms! :D
______________
The flat is quiet.
Quieter than Sasha expected, and much neater too than she expected when they connected this one to "Filth." The lights are off and there's a faint dusty, sweet scent in the air as she cracks open the door, torch slicing through the dark.
It catches on motes of dust. She thinks she hears movement, a susurrus of rustling like fabric faint in the depths of the place but little else. She pushes the door further, feels it catch on the ragged old rug on the floor and watches moths flutter up, batter against her torch in little puffs of dust before they flutter away.
Part of her worries as she steps inside, as she closes the door behind herself - leaving just a crack in case she needs to get out fast.
This is too quiet for something of the powers. The flat should be more of a wreck, more… more miserably bloodstained, more disgusting and unnerving, but it looks, honestly, just a bit messy, a bit moth-eaten. The couch sags a bit wrong, but hell, she can't pretend she's never had one like it. There are shelves of books, their edges chewed and pages no doubt holey, there's even a mug left forgotten on the kitchen counter. It's all dim; lit only by what spills around heavy curtain edges and her own torch as she steps further in and - and hears that rustling again from the end of the hallway and heads straight for it.
More moths flutter up at her steps, and she is wary, she is. But the things just… flutter uselessly at her hands, their wings shedding dust and their fat abdomens plump and full, but hardly a threat before they fly - further inside.
Towards that faint rustling noise, towards the door at the end of the dim-lit hall that is just open enough to allow the frantic moths to flit inside. Writhing and wriggling at the crack between door and jamb just a moment before they vanish inside, but the movement… it makes Sasha swallow.
Something about the way the bulbous little things squirm before they pop through sets her stomach on edge. Too many of them; more than she thought, all struggling to squeeze into that door.
The crack writhes by the time she reaches it.
She can swear she hears them whine and click and screech in tiny voices above the din of their frantically fluttering wings.
She uses her torch to push the door open. Fast, loosing a cloud of moths from the stuffed crack that fall and flutter and scatter into the dim room before her.
The rustling has not gone quiet. Neither has the soft, whining song of flapping wings and voices she cannot place as she raises her torch high, fumbling for her pepper spray in her other hand. More of a comfort to herself than any real belief it would accomplish anything against something abnormal, but the room doesn’t… change. Nothing leaps out of the dim shadows, nothing comes ravening towards her with a horrid, dripping maw.
It’s a bedroom. The bed is really as far as the light peeking around the curtains lights, in thin, dusty stripes across worn rugs and a small pile of abandoned clothes.
“A-Ah.”
Sasha whips her torch towards the voice, and stills.
There is… there is something like a man there. Tucked in the corner, with all the moths frantically fluttering, scuttling towards it. She watches, stomach queasy, as the moths drill between the heavy folds of the blanket? The wrap? It has folded around itself. It reaches a hand out to a particularly fat straggler and cradles it in its palms like a treasure, bringing it up slowly, carefully, and opens thin, paled lips and lets the thing crawl straight into its mouth as Sasha gags.
It is almost worse then when it looks up.
Long, straggling hair that was probably rather nice once. Now it is loose and lank, black shot with grey and dust that hangs over… over his shoulders, over the thing he has cocooned himself within. His eyes are dark. Too dark.
There are no whites, she realizes, and cannot help but feel her fingers twinge around the pepper spray.
But he isn’t attacking. He is just looking at her, head cocked like a curious animal as the moths burrow back into the shelter he offers.
She can work with this. She sucks in a breath, wills her stomach to settle as she tells it it could really be so, so much worse, and points the torch further towards the floor. Good manners. Going out on a limb that he’s probably not too fond of bright light.
“Hello,” she says. The strange man stares at her. Hard enough she swears she can feel the tracks his eyes leave on her skin, but she only makes herself stand taller. He seems to like that. He laughs. Not maliciously.
It’s soft. Like cotton, like it’s been a long while since he’s used his voice, and the rasp sticks to it as he speaks and Sasha tries not to linger on where exactly that moth went.
“Hello, Archivist. Doing house calls?”
He’s smiling. And that’s what gets her.
His voice is soft and smooth like old silk and his smile stiff like he’s unused to using it, but something about him feels familiar. It’s there, just at the corner of her mind, and she knows she’s frowning deeply as she casts a line and tries to hook just why she feels like she knows this strange man, but then he laughs again and stands.
He rustles as he does. That… that thing wrapped around him doesn’t move the way it should, not like cloth, but she can’t immediately place that, either. Not until he walks a little closer and her torch light catches on it and it… shimmers.
Like moth wings. And Sasha sucks in a breath.
She can see it now. The patterns in the dusty brown, the oranges that circle white to make massive, partly hidden eyespots. The thick, dark veins supporting the overall structure, and she can’t help herself from blurting out, “Can you fly with those?”
The man shudders, that smile hung unmoving on his face as he brings a hand to his mouth and coughs against the static.
“Not well,” he answers into his hand, his too-dark eyes sparkling. He lets his hand drop back into the too-layered folds of his wings and shuffles a little closer; his wingtips drag across the floor, like a blanket wrapped around a child too small for it, and she can see now where his long, untied hair turns into something shorter. A ruff of fur at the back of his neck, across the back of his shoulders.
(Can see the moths wriggling down into the fur, settling there, an army of tiny, coal-black eyes staring out at her, glinting green when her torch light catches them.)
And then he stands still, that faint smile on his face, his dark eyes half-lidded in an expression she cannot place, and waits as that soft, soft distant song hums in the room.
Sasha exhales. This is more than she dared hope for. He’s talking. He’s non-aggressive.
“I,” she begins, wetting her tongue before plunging back into her words. “I was wondering if I could ask you some questions. About the ‘Filth.’ About you.”
He watches, and she feels emboldened.
(Her phone begins to ring as she steps closer to him, and she ignores it. It’s Elias. She knows.)
“We don’t have answers. And if you could tell me, tell us what you know? About… about what’s happening.”
Her phone stops ringing. It starts again. The man smiles wider and reaches out. Sasha can see that his hands are… strange. Plated like chitin, and the desire to grab his hand and investigate each delicately plated joint wars deeply with the uneasy reminder that there are probably moths crawling beneath, of statements that were far, far more explicit about what ‘Filth’ did to a person than this man showed.
His hand waves in front of her face for a moment and she starts, coming back to herself, as her phone angrily rings again.
“Your phone?” the man asks, and Sasha doesn’t hesitate for a moment to shut the thing off.
(Elias. All three calls. If he doesn’t want her here, then she’s not leaving.)
“Well Archivist,” and she knows she is not missing the strange bitterness that clings to that word this time, knows there is something she is missing about him, “If you have that many questions, we should probably get a little more comfortable. I have a feeling that once I let you start, you’ll keep me well after dusk.”
And isn’t it bizarre? As he brushes past Sasha - both carefully and clearly telegraphing his movements so she only feels the barest touch of his wings as he heads back out into the hallway - she realizes she doesn’t feel afraid of this one. A little disgusted if she thinks about him too hard, yes, but there’s been no threat. No… no menace, no winding, evasive non-answers, just. Incredibly human remarks. It almost circles right back around from comforting to even worse than something as alien as the thing with the door. Michael.
But as the rustling moves away from her down the hallway, she can’t help but flash her torch around the bedroom. One last bit of nosiness.
An old, worn bed, rather like the couch. Shelves with books so moth-eaten they’ve gone to pieces. An open closet, filled with over-large sweaters and… She blinks. And oddly proper button ups, slacks.
And then… and then she turns her torch in one last semi-circle and catches upon a strange shine beneath the lumpy pillows.
Like polaroids.
The itch that there’s something she should know only grows when she spots them; growing from a thing at the edge of her thoughts to an all consuming need that drives her in fast steps across the dusty rug before she even catches herself. She fishes the pictures out with deft fingers and - and she thinks her heart stops in her chest.
She knows the people in the picture.
That long, dark hair shot with grey is distinctive - even set on a much more vibrant, lively face, and above a painfully crisp button up. He’s wearing glasses in the picture, and. A name tag.
She can’t read the name, but she’d recognize that emblem anywhere. Not that she needs to.
Because beside the stuffy librarian like man, his eyes green instead of black, stands… Tim. Tim, his shirt as loud as ever, his smile boisterous, and an arm slung affectionately around the man who couldn’t possibly be any more his opposite. And the same horrible name tag pinned to a pineapple-strewn lapel.
The man worked at the Magnus Institute.
He worked with Tim.
She knows his name now.
Jonathan Sims.
#tma#tma fanfic#moth jon#crowswritings#hides chatter in the tags#my tentative ideas for this were that it's actually a time travel AU#as well as (gasp) jon/tim#bc like i mean who is to say the time travel is actually time travel?#you may as well have been shoved thru the crack to another world entirely where the time flows differently#and in this world jon and tim were originally a lot closer#jon sims#sasha james#i remembered i needed to tag them anyway so just picture tim doing his best to flirt with this oblivious stick in the mud#and catching feelings along the way but the guy is just Oblivious#and then one day he vanishes bc future/alt world jon comes along and p much instantly gets eaten by another Fear#(i imagine corruption as the antithesis to the lonely thanks to my partner so he did feed himself to it in desperation tbh)#when he woke up in a world and more or less panicked not wanting the same thing to happen as before and was so so desperate not to be Alone#jazzhands#he didn't consider that this world was actually different in some ways and legit just thought it was time travel#so when he saw the pictures of him and tim he was deeply confused and panicked and guilty#ok final jazzhands#this is a short drabble#the full idea would be much more than a short drabble and i am not strong enough to do a 50k jon/tim AU#love to spin it around in my head tho
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finished reading the dr stone manga. ok
#ohhh my god#I'm so normal you guys have no idea#killing myself why was it so plot centered. it's so fucking good it got me crying real tears but#please the relationships are soooo well written please give them more depth nobody gaf about time machines#like every relationship here is so interesting and fucking good whether platonic or romantic they all love each other so much#GIVE THEM MORE TIME TOGETHER#ryusui and sai.... Dont talk to me#francois and ryusui ohhh man#the way francois' petrification scar resembles ryusuis finger snap#the way he's always snapping his fingers to call tjem#the way Francois was the only one who gaf about him when he was a kid#And appreciated all of his enthusiasm to reach his goals#the way ryusui has complete trust in them#the way the first thing he did when he woke up was calling them#and when Francois woke up the first thing they did was looking for ryusui#DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME#roscaposting
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i'm hurt 🥲
#it's been 8 years and i still dream of my best friend who i was in love with in high school#last night was way too much though#like i met him again and replayed all the memories we had.. like dancing around in the rain#and since it was raining i told him to dance with me again even though it felt different#i knew he didn't feel shit for me bc he rejected me back in hs too but when i started talking about another guy he did NOT like it#and he admitted it... questioned me about him and then we kissed ???#he told me to call him every now n then bc up until now it was always just him calling. like the jealousy was SO OBVIOUS#we kind of get together.. literally my 18 y/o's dream coming true like y'all i was SO IN LOVE WITH HIM LMAO#and then i ask him 'be honest did you feel something for me back in hs' and he just won't answer 🥲 keeps dodging the question...#suggests smth that sounds like a yes but then i woke up 😐#i just wanted to let this out... idk it's crazy to me that even after all those years i still think of him#like if he approached me today and asked me out i just KNOW i'd give in. even though it's been almost a decade. i would definitely give in#first loves.. especially unrequited ones... leave an impact fr#my dream sounded like a fic i'd like to come true but well that's not how life works#anyways i'm just sentimental lol tdl ??#personal
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One of those texts I kind of need to sit on before I decide how I'm going to word it.
I never know how to start these, but I always have an idea on what to say. Your opinion of me actually matters a lot & the implication that you believe that I lie to you or I'm not doing enough is kinda hurtful. It comes across to me like my effort is worthless to you & that what I want doesn't matter at all. I wouldn't bring it up if I didn't think you cared, and I know you're going through a lot and shouldn't have to worry about me, but I'm getting mixed signals that are really throwing me off. What do you want from me? Am I asking too much of you and you don't know how to tell me? I sincerely want to be there for you, regardless of what it looks like to get to that point, but if you don't want me there you can tell me! What you want matters just as much, if not more, to me. I'm not the kind of person to be hostile about things if they don't work out. I don't want to be another source of stress or negativity for you, and I don't want you to be afraid of being honest with me. I constantly question if you're just too nice to tell me you aren't interested anymore, and even if you are, I might need more reassurance than you can give me because I don't think I'm very worth it to anyone for anything. If you don't think I'm trying hard enough then tell me what I need to do to change that! I'm at the point of just not knowing what I bring to your life, if anything at all. You don't need to deal with me on top of everything else, so, I'm sorry for this. Even if you don't text me back I'll feel better once I get it out there. The only thing I've ever been afraid of is not communicating exactly how much I care about you & how much you mean to me - even if it doesn't matter to you, or you don't believe me. If there comes a day where we aren't in each other's lives anymore for whatever reason, I don't want either of us to question what could've been said or done differently or regret not doing more.
#I'm gonna sleep on this one. This could be a Monday night text. Or tomorrow#I'll refine this better. I think it's important to stress the whole Gemini factor here#REALLY mixed signals. If you want me to go just say it#I don't have time for the bait and switch yknow#I don't even think he's aware. Micheal said it pretty straight up and I know he's probably right#But I will be goddamned if I don't give it my best and most honest shot.#I think about Sean a lot sometimes and how much I miss him. It could make me cry#I never got the chance to tell him anything. To show him I made it#He will NEVER get here. He will always be stuck when and where and how he died and that fucking kills me#That pain and raw grief are what keep me going at this point.... he will never experience life after that moment in time#And I am so scared that the same thing will happen to my s/o and he will walk into it with eyes open#And I can't communicate that fear to him. That profound sadness. Watching a movie over and over and hate the ending#It's *hard*. How many times can I watch it happen? How many times will it keep happening? Take my fucking revolution or whatever#I woke up angry today and im committed to being empty and full of resentment I think#I just want to talk to Sean. He would say the same thing micheal did I bet.#God I really miss him huh. Crying and shit or whatever. I don't have time for this#Sean would laugh at me for crying over some hot guy who I am clearly the side girl to#Lmao I would laugh too. Yeah. Get it together.#It's just another relapse so relax sit back and take a deep breath......
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