#( things that bring him comfort with WY )

[guqinstrings]

In the official art of the book before Wei Ying becomes Yiling Laozu, he wears his hair in a ponytail. After his resurrection, he does so again. He only wears his hair in the “down kinda half pulled back” look as the Yiling Laozu. I wonder if the ponytail is like a familiar sense of comfort for Lan Zhan since he gets the more “WY” he doesn’t associate with his death. Since it’s quite clear, each time Wei Ying jokes about his death, it greatly upsets Lan Zhan. Talking about “stuffing his organs back inside his body” is one of the jokes that truly bothered him the most. The man spent thirteen years mourning his death, named Sizhui after the emotions he felt for Wei Ying since their teens, the bit of familiarity even something as small as his hair, is probably more reassuring than even he realizes.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Oct 6th

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1. Hello. I’m hoping you can help me find a fic. In it Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are poisoned at Jinlintai and fake their deaths. Their bodies are brought back to the ancestral hall at cloud recesses and they escape and live away from the cultivation world for many years. Theres two parts and in the second part the sect leaders come to their mountain thinking immortals live there and asking for help dealing with problems they can’t solve. (Ie The Lan sect is dealing with resentful ghost). Thanks!! @vegdawn

FOUND? To live with no regrets Series by Lyna_Mei (E, 96k, WIP, WangXian, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Angst, Self-Esteem Issues, Golden Core Reveal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Developing Relationship, non-consensual marriage, CQL-Verse, Case Fic, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Cultivation Sect Politics, Cultivation World Critical, Not JGY Friendly, Family Feels, Found Family, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian)

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2. hi this is for the fic finder! i’m looking for a fic i read which i’m pretty sure is completed. it should be wangxian, modern au, and i think wwx was living alone (maybe estranged from the jiangs?) and i think mo xuanyu and xue yang were kid brothers who lived in his building that came to hang out with him sometimes? and he was sorta like a big brother to them? this wasn’t a major plot point but it was definitely there. and a-yuan may or may not have been there, either living with wwx or the wens in the same building. does anyone know what this is?

FOUND? Visitations by Vir_Abelasan (M, 18k, WIP, WangXian, past XiYao, Modern AU, Corporate Espionage, Post-Divorce, Reconciliation, Father-Son Relationship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Custody Arrangements, Not a revenge fic, Past Abuse)

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3. Looking for a highly specific fic where WWX is forced to wear scantily clad armour that only covers his nipples and man-bits as a punishment by Madam Yu. Wangxian encounter each other in a night-hunt sort of thing, but its not set in the jianghu but an AU where its more fantasy magic with warlocks, that sort of thing? There is a specific scene where WWX has to go change the armor and it hurts alot and makes LWJ very sad and angry at madam yu?? GOSH HELP its been stuck in my head foreverr thank u

FOUND? 🔒 His Knight in Shining Armour by celerydragon (E, 23k, WangXian, dead dove do not eat, Curses, Sexual Abuse, Child Abuse, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Slut Shaming, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, yu furen sucks, protective lwj, Hurt/Comfort, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, mild dirty talk, Biting, Outdoor Sex)

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4. Hello, I am looking for an AO3 Fix it Fic where all the sects bring gifts to the Burial Mounds to compete showing who is the most generous. @hopefulbeardface-blog

FOUND? The Untamed: A Dinner to Remember by YenGirl (Not Rated, 33k, WangXian, XuanLi, post sunshot, Indulgent Fic, Feed WY & the Wen survivors, Some angst, Some humour, Dinner is about family and love, Some Fluff, Soft Boys, Manly Tears, JGS is still greedy, Possible OOC-ness, No hundred holes curse, Unreliable Narrator, accidental heroes, Some violence and gore in Chap 9, Redeemed JGY, Redeemed SS)

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5. HI!!!this is for a fic finder, it had madam yu as a super toxic parent idrm bt maybe she was also abusive, she sends wwx to this school owned by the lans and i think theres 2 divisions, 1 for the smart kids and one for the delinquents

the school is super weird and strict , lqr is especially mean to wwx and all the staff is aswell and they do horrible things to him and in the end i think lxc exposes his uncles school?? wwx and lzh get tg to.

Thankyou!! @jnxi839

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6. Hi! For FicFinder

The fic I'm looking for is canon divergence, I believe. I can't remember if it had time travel or not, but Wei Ying left the Jangs before the war. I think there was focus on his inventions. The only clear details I can remember are the Jins giving him multiple chests full of gold, and them sending him someone to his rooms in the night. The person gets caught in an array at the door. Also, there were two Lans assigned to help Wei Ying. Thanks in advance! @rens-shadow

FOUND? Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, WWX & WN &WQ, WWX & JYL, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, WWx does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Not JC Friendly, but he gets a happier ending than canon so don’t look here for bashing)

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7. Fic finder please!🙏

A wlw wangxian where LWJ was self conscious about her body bc LQR wasn’t really helpful when she was going through puberty and bought her too small bras and stuff and then she meets wwx, much later on who encourages her to wear what she likes and love her body. There’s a scene with them on the couch cuddling and idk how it ends bc ao3 went down and I lost my tab!! 😭😭😭

FOUND? your lips, my lips, apocalypse by lily_winterwood (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern, Fashion & Models, College/University, Lingerie, Burlesque, Rule 63, partial genderswap, Not Everyone is Cisswapped, Nonbinary Character, Trans Male Character, Female LWJ, Female WWX, Trans LXC, References to conservative Chinese family values, Mild Transphobia, Body Dysphoria, Self-Esteem Issues, Brief reference to eating disorders, Sexism, Pining, Filial Piety, Masturbation, Cunnilingus, Gender Changes)

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8. fic finder help! there is a modern fic where lan zhan and Wei ying are best friends and the fic starts off with Wei ying asking lan zhan to call off work to play hooky for the day. eventually we find out Wei ying quit his job (he's working with the jiangs). it was part of a series I think. @the-marathon-continues-nip

FOUND! in good time by magicianprince (T, 11k, WangXian, Slice of Life, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Modern AU, modern with cultivation (pretty background tho), lwj has a cat, and some unresolved feelings! oh boy, "in good time" by magicianprince [Podfic] by The_Grynne)

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9. Looking for a fic where lan xichen and possibly lan qiren? go into a meeting with the elders, who have been giving Wei wuxian a hard time, and they hand out lists of rules that the elders have each individually have broken @lonelyreverances-corner

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10. hi i have a request: i want to find fanfic which included older lan wangji (i think he was older by 7 years) who meets wei wuxian in yiling and it is their first meeting. he and lan xichen are twins and it is mostly focused on lwj visiting burial mounds and wy and lz have a sex not long after they meet first time. i think it counted from 20 to 30 (or 35) chapters and it also had 18+ fanarts

FOUND? Awaiting Your Return by Karmiya (E, 126k, WangXian, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, the opposite of slow burn, Found Family, Canon Divergence, Age Difference, discussions of wwx's canonical abusive childhood)

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11. Hi! I'm looking for a fic (I think it may be a series of fics) where Wei Wuxian was accused of spying on Lan Corp. I think this is one where Lan Wangji believes in him the entire time and leaves his family over the accusations. I don't remember if he served any time or not, but the truth comes out that he was innocent (thanks in part to NHS). WWX and LWJ live with Wens, started a company with them, and live in the same building with them.

FOUND?🔒 moonlight falls Series by RoseThorne (T, 19k, WangXian, Modern, Found Family, Corporate Espionage, Bunnies, Adoption, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, References to Depression, Anxiety, Blind Character, POV Third Person, POV WWX, Confrontations, Bad Parent LQR, Dissociation, Mental Health Issues, Anniversary, Food, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Emotional Constipation, Communication Failure, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC is Trying, WWX Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Sex, Food Sex, Friendship, Reconciliation, Psychological Trauma)

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12. hi! i am looking for a fic that is a juniors time-travel fix it. i know they go back in time to right before jin zixuan gets killed and save him, the juniors reveal that wangxian are married in the future, and then also there is a scene where jin zixuan and jiang yanli tell older jin ling that he is their son, too, even though baby jin ling is there. thank you so much! @whenstarsignite

FOUND! ❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

NOT FOUND! Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JL & JZX, LJY & LSZ, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Angst, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor)

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13. Hi! I'm looking for two fics. I think I initially saw B on this page, but I can't find it anywhere

A) A meteor crashed near college student WWX’s house, where he finds a shape-shifting bunny/toddler alien A-Yuan. LWJ is also a different kind of alien.

B) I think it takes place in a camp after defeating the Wen. JGY spikes the Lan's tea with alcohol. LWJ and WWX spend the night together, but by morning the Jiang siblings think it was noncon. Eventually JGY confesses that it was JGS's idea to serve alcohol.

13A)

FOUND! Lost and Found by diamondbruise (E, 52k, WangXian, Modern AU, Aliens, Slow Burn, Alien LWJ, Crack Treated Seriously, Soulmates, Kid Fic…..kind of, i use that tag very loosely, Masturbation, Rough Sex, canon typical cnc elements, Happy Ending)

13B)

FOUND! The Teapot Plot by ToxicAngel13 (M, 52k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Misunderstandings, Plots, protective Jiang siblings, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Idiots in Love, Damn Jins, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Pre-Burial Mounds, Potential for M-Preg, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Idiots Everywhere, LWJ ’s Biting Kink, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective WQ, JGS is his own warning, Protective JYL)

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14. hiya! for the fic finder, i'm struggling to find a fic i read a few months ago - not sure if it's been deleted or not. i am fairly certain it was an a/b/o au where wwx was carrying lwj's kid by the time he ended up in the burial mounds and basically he kept control of the spirits by asking the female ghosts to help him protect him unborn baby. wen qing also refused to take his golden core because of the baby and jiang cheng ended up with wen ning's core instead going into the sunshot campaign. the wen siblings and the wen remnants live in this au and help wwx raise his daughter after she's born. somewhere along the way wwx tells his siblings and lwj about his daughter too.

second fic i've been looking for, but not as much of a priority to me as the first one, all i remember about this one was lwj found out about wwx giving up his core almost immediately after it happened and wwx lets lwj help him sooner. one scene i remember was wwx and jiang cheng were arguing and jiang cheng uses zidian on wwx and mortally wounds him and stops wwx heart (i think?)

thank you for your help in advance! <3

14A)

FOUND! 🧡 Don’t Wanna Fall by nekojita (M, 111k, WangXian, Mpreg, A/B/O, Fix-it, Lots of pining, Angst with a happy ending, Canon Divergence, Child thief WN)

14B)

FOUND! these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, …eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sunshot Campaign)

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15. Hi! This is for fic finder. There are 2 fic that i want to read

A) It short fic. JYL and WWX likes to play the "xianxian is 3 years old". I dont remember how but NMJ knows and ask to join with NHS. JYL give them permission, thinking it was like a play between her and WWX. Then they (JYL and WWX) found out it was different. Between JYL and WWX is like a play pretend but between NMJ and NHS is different in a way that NHS transform into a 3 years old child

B) The story is between yunmeng trio and nie sibs. JGY wants to make the nies and jiangs enemy. He then found out that NHS didnt have a single blood of nie. In the discussion conference, he invite nhs blood aunt that thinking nhs deserve better than become the second young master of the nie and revealed that nhs is jfm child not the former nie's sect leader. I only remember that

Thanks

15A)

FOUND? Little by nirejseki (T, 3k, NHS & JC & WWX & NMJ, Age Regression/De-Aging, Non-Sexual Age Play, Misunderstandings)

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16. I'm hoping you guys can help me find a fic I vaguely remember. It was fox!wwx and I think he was in an arranged marriage to lwj, but before he left he cut off a tail and left it as a present for JC to find (I think) when he got back to Lotus Pier.

I think I've read #16, was the Jiangs doing a silk/cloth dyeing business and JYL was super sick, and Wei ying was conscripted to be part of the search for a mate for prince ? I'll try to find it if it is

FOUND! #16 reminds me of the deleted "Bleeding Bones, Aching Hearts " by scarletmoontears. Do you remember if Wei Ying was a war general of Yunmeng Jiang and was sent as a warprize to the Lans?

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17. Hi!! I'm looking for a fic. This is a Modern AU where WWX fakes his death (I think because of Madam Yu) and LWJ sends him voice and text messages during his grieving process. Everything changes when WWX accidentally answers one of those messages and LWJ finds out he's not dead. I don't recall more. Thank you so much for your help!! @fantasiacoral-blog

FOUND? Love Don’t Belong To Me by airinshaw (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern, Getting Together, Kissing, Intercrural Sex, Light Angst, Happy Ending, PTSD, Panic Attack, WWX’s canonical self-esteem issues, Canonical Child Abuse, not as dark as the tags imply, Past Relationships mention)

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18. Hello! This if for a fic finder

A) mo xuanyu is a ghost that stays with wwx i think he and wwx can both be concious in the body? Idrm much but it was wwx/mxy/lwj

B) this was a modern au lan jingyi came out to his parents or something like that and they gor abusive , jiangcheng ends up adopting jingyi or smth like that they tale him to a doctor too I remember jiangcheng and lan xichen were dating

18A)

FOUND? Serrated by InkSplatterM and MrMissMrsRandom (E, 194k, WangXianYu, Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Gore, Past Abuse, Canon Divergence, MXY Lives, spirit possession, 2/3 men are virgin idiots, WWX is an emotional dunce, MXY is gay and tired, LWJ finds his heart is very large, Discussions of Suicide, Suicide Attempt, victim self-blame, Panic Attacks, mentions of past sexual abuse, PTSD, Past Rape/Non-con, Masturbation, Voyeurism, Outdoor Sex, Exhibitionism, light cum play, Praise Kink, gentle dirty talk, D/s elements, Under-negotiated Kink, Dom MXY, Sub LWJ)

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19. Hello! I'm looking for a modern au fic wherein i think lwj and wwx are roommates. wwx is writing a paper on the effect of spanking on children and asks lwj to spank him to experience it firsthand. i think there's a couple of instances where wwx forgets to clear out the sink and stuff and gets spanked for it and then gets aftercare??? i think there's some dialogue that goes like "my hand. no french. over the couch" idk?? I cannot seem to find it

FOUND! "The Efficacy of Spanking on Behavioural Change" by redscudery (E, 15k, WangXian, SL/WWX, Platonic BDSM, Oblivious WWX, Spanking, we all know this is not platonic, With One Exception, Bisexual Disaster WWX, Light Dom/sub, not a single brain cell was consulted, Boys Kissing, Boys In Love, Getting Together, First Time, Lube Shenanigans, mild alcohol and marijuana use, Non-graphic vomiting, big bisexual awakenings r us, Love Confessions, Modern, Canada)

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20. Hi I would like to ask if you know the title of the story in ao3 that I read back then. It’s like burial mound setting, they made a village inside the Burial Mounds but it’s hidden in the rock and no one can enter but then they invited Lan Xichen in their home. Thank you have a nice day ahead!

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[aky-chaosgremlin]

I originally wrote this as a twitter thread, and I wanted to back it up here so I can rewrite it soon! hehe

Lan zhan (10) watches his Huan-ge (16) playing Sims 4. His two characters, Xichen and Mingjue, are in love! They kiss wiggle around in bed a little. The day Xichen is pregnant! That is how lz learns that kisses make babies.The next day at school wei ying kisses his cheek. 

Lz goes home bawling.

lz: im sorry uncle, a-zhan has shamed our family name 😭 you have raised a *whore*

lz, packing his bags, recalling uncle telling ge-ge off for sleeping around: uncle will throw me out, i KNOW it. 

lz will make wy take responsibility and raise the baby 😤 

Uncle: a-zhan you are not pregnant

lz: UNCLE IS REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY BABY 

Lwj decides that he’s going to run away. He grabs his bag with all the essentials��� tuzi, an extra pair of shorts, a water bottle and a granola bar— and runs down the street to wei yings house, still sniffling. 

Cangse ayi takes one look at him and sends him to play in the yard 

Lz drops his bag and runs outside, careful not to trip bc falling would hurt the baby. 

wy has somehow climbed on top of the playhouse and is roaring and banging on the roof. "all you puny humans will die! mwahahahaha!”

lz can’t believe wy is the dad, this baby will be a mess! 

wy sees lz standing at the base of the play structure and nearly topples over in his excitement.

wy: lz! come up here and help me destroy the humans!

lz: i cannot wy. the days of childhood are behind me now. 

wy: 😲 what?! lan zhaan nooo

lz: wy please come down. we must talk. 

wy scrambles down and they settle on the swingset for their talk.

lz: wei yang. i am pregnant

wy: 😲

lz: and you are the father

wy: *gasp* LAN ZHAN! 

lz really hopes wy won’t hate him now. His worries are eased when wy shouts, “dont worry lan zhan! am here!” 

lz is so relieved! He starts tearing up again.

lz: wei ying, I ran away from home. Uncle does not bless our union. he has shunned our baby!

wy, bless him, looks just as offended.

wy: your uncle is a meanie! It’s a good thing you ran away lz. I have a house for us right here! 

wy proposes to lz right then and there with a keyring he found in the sand, and promises they’d get married the very next day. 

“we need witnesses for a wedding lz. and if your uncle won’t help us then a-sang and a-cheng will help us at school! Our wedding will be the bestest!” 

wy works very hard to make his pregnant wife comfortable in their little house. He sneaks into his meimei’s room and steals her cooking utensils, and drags a beanbag from his own room to make lz a bed.

while wy works lz tells baby about its baba: "he’s a silly, but wy is good” 

a while later, cangse ayi comes out to offer them snacks. She calls up the boys in the play structure and all she can see is two heads popping out the window.

wy: hi mama! Welcome to our house! Lz is my wife and we’re having a baby! 

lz is very worried about what cangse ayi would say. Would wy’s family deny their baby too?

cssr: how lovely! you must be new to the neighbourhood. How nice to have such a young family next door. I brought you a welcome present.

she ruffles wy’s hair and tells them to have fun. 

lz is so relieved and so sad! how come his family won’t accept him 😭 uncle is so mean! perhaps a-huan would be more supportive. he will have to speak with him later.

later happens much sooner than expected when Uncle sends huan-ge to bring a-zhan back home… 

lh: a-zhan uncle said you ran away? what happened?

lz: gege, a-zhan is pregnant with wei sings baby and uncle won’t accept us 😭

lh: ...

lh: … 

lh: 😈

lh: oh my a-zhan how could this be?! what will you do now?! having a baby is so easy feat! 

lh: did you know you can never eat ice cream every again

lz: *sobbing*

lh: how did this even happy a-zhan?

lz: wei yimg kissed me

lh: oh no a kiss you say? its definitely twins. you’d better stat here a-zhan, uncle would never let this slide. 

lan huan going home that day: a-zhan refuses to come home! He looks like he’s run away for real… You must have hurt him deeply uncle what did you do?!

uncle:… w h a t? what did i do?!?! this boy 🙄 

Wy manages to calm lz down. “you can have all the ice cream after the baby is born lan zhan!” 

ice cream is lz's favouritest. How will he live without ice cream 😭

lz is calmer but still sniffling when jiang cheng climbs over the shared fence between his and wy’s yard to play 

jc, scoffing: why are you crying that’s so lame. You’re such a baby a-zhan

lz: *cries harder at mention of baby*

wy: HEY DONT BE MEAN TO MY WIFE DONT YOU KNOW HES PREGNANT AND HORMONAL

jc, whacking wy: you’re so stupid he’s not pregnant

wy: he is! he said so and lz never lies 

wy and jc proceed to tussle, getting covered in sand.

lz watching wy defend him: 🥺 maybe he will be a wonderful spouse after all!

yanli- jie eventually shows up and wrenches jc off of wy. Lz likes her very much for saving his husband. She’s much nicer than her dumb brother. 

when yanli hears of lan zhan’s predicament she fights down a smile and replies very seriously. “oh my a-zhan you’ve been through an ordeal indeed. Don’t worry, jiejie will support you. a-ying you must invite me to the baby shower okay?”

She leaves promising to bring presents… 

jyl secretly texting lh: your didi is so cute 🥰 and so very good at playing his role

lh, snickering to himself: indeed he is… will you help me set up a wedding for them? perhaps tonight?

jyl, delighted: of course! I will prepare the dolls! 

about an hour later, yanli and a-huan come back to wy’s yard.

wy has left his bride resting at home— he’s can’t exert himself, its bad for the baby!— and gone “out” with jc to “work” plucking dandelions

lz swooning on the beanbag like a maiden, waiting for wy’s return 

jyl: boys! come quick come quick its time to get married!

wy: but jiejie we’re getting married tomorrow!

lh: no time for that you must get married *now*

lz: gene but why?

lh: dont you know its illegal to have a baby without being married a-zhan? 

lz: 😰

lh: you must get married quickly or the cops will come take your babies away!

lz, panicking: my and wy’s babies 😖😭🥺

lz: but what about witnesses and uncle 

jyl: dont worry a-zhan! your uncle agreed to be there! So will all of our parents

lz: uncle approves? 

lan huan convinces him that of course, after cangse ayi explained convinced him, how could he not!

lh and jyl shepherd him into the jiang’s garden where a wedding is set up. The adults look eager and excited, and dolls making up the rest of the crowd. 

wy waits by the altar. 

Jyl hands him a little bouquet, and fixes a makeshift veil on his head and sends him marching down the aisle. jc plays a song on his guitar which people guess is an attempt at the wedding march— its much too out of tune to say for sure 

Lz is very nervous. He’s very lucky that he gets to marry his best friend at least. Imagine if it had to be that bully wx. yuck.

he looks to his uncle to confirm that he accepts and feels a weight lifted off of his shoulder when he nods. Phew. Uncle still loves him. 

The wedding begins. Jyl is their officiant and as she monologues about joining their souls together. Lh sits in the front row with his uncle and records everything.

They make their vows. Wy will make sure lz always has ice cream. Lz will never keep wy from climbing things. 

They exchange ring pops. 

And then jyl finally declares that it’s time for wy to kiss his bride.

The wedding that went off without a hitch so far starts to go completely wrong.

Wy leans in to kiss his fiancé, but lz pushes him away hard sending wy toppling to the ground. 

Their audience falls suddenly silent.

wy on the ground looks started, and peers up and lz in shock.

lz: will not kiss wei yimg. 

wy bursts into tears. 

wy: lan zhan wont kiss me! he doesnt love me!!

Wy is distraught. His tears devolve into big heaving gasps. 

Seeing wy cry makes lz starts crying again too.

He starts wailing: Nooooo a-zhan loves wei ying 😭😭

wy: then why won’t zhanzhan kiss me 😭 😭😭

lz: a-zhan doesn’t want to get pregnant again 😭 what if a-ying kisses me and the babies also get pregnant 😭😭😭😭 

The adults who were stunned into silence at the sudden breakdown finally spring into action. Well, most of them. 

Cangse ayi bursts into howling laughter. Wcz picks up wy and comforts him: “sometimes people just dont like being kissed a-ying. it doesn’t mean they dont love you” 

Lqr kneels with lz, completely mortified at the outbursts. Where on earth had he gotten such an idea in his head?!

He listens to lz’s rambles about how kisses would make him pregnant and huan-ge said that the FBI would arrest his babies. He’s sorry he’s a hussy and shamed shushu

Lqr was so going to punish lh when they get home. (Said culprit is quickly sobering up from his laughter when he catches lqr glaring at him)

lqr pulls lz into his lap and consoles him. He explains to lz that that’s not pregnancy works, turning red as he gives The Talk in public. 

meanwhile…

cssr: you little gremlin we talked about not kissing other people randomly what made you go and do that!?

wy, indignant: but mama! it wasn’t random! you said that we should show people that we love them with both words and actions and that’s why you kiss me! 

they get both boys calm eventually.

wy: im sorry for kissing you when you thought it would get you pregnant lz 🥺

lz: mn. I’m sorry for rejecting wy’s kiss. 🥺 I really love wy 🥺

wy: 😁 I LOVE U TOO LZ!

lz surprises wy by smacking a big kith on wy’s cheeks.

wy: eep 😳 

From then on the boys decide to kith each other on a daily basis. Their relationship evolves over the years from platonic baby kisses, to shy first kisses, to filthy making out. Without the looming threat of pregnancy scares they become extremely annoying with their PDA.

==FIN== 

If you made it this far: Thank you so much for followed along and supporting me along the way 🥺. This is the first thread that I’ve ever posted to completion. I didn’t expect it’d so much attention as it did; I am so grateful! Shout out @cwnsthicktighs for creating this with me 

Some extra scenes: In the original brainwork, the “wedding” happens the next day. Two things were meant to happen here: 1) lh goes homee after riling lz up, lqr tries to pick lz up himself. lqr: a-zhan, come home lz: no. wy is my family now wy, clueless: lz is family? YAY :D 

2. the next day at school wx tries to pick on lx bc he’s got a huge crush on him. lwj doesn’t like it one bit. wy, still protecting his pregnant wife, flies in to the rescue: "STAY AWAY FROM MY PREGNANT WIFE YOU HOMEWRECKER"

why does he know what a home wrecker is? 

Well, wcz is obsessed with soaps. Most days jfm also sneaks over to watch it with him, but he lives in fear of yzy finding out every day.

cssr writes down all of wcz’s favourite scenes so they can role-play them when wy is asleep 😉 

No one lets lz live this day down ever. They bring it up at every chance: “get pregnant lately lz?”

Years in the future, when wx get married, everyone brings The Pregnancy Incident during the toasts. Lz turns a brilliant red while wy falls out of his chair laughing. 

[pleasantspark]

I Can't Imagine A Future Without You (Oneshot) Jeice x Zarbon's Daughter! OC (Mikumi) Genre: Angst & Hurt/Comfort Tropes: Third Class Act Misunderstanding Warnings: Awful Australian Accent Incoming! AUs Utilized: Overhaul AU

Age 577.

Jeice found himself pondering. He was walking around deep in thought. He was... Debating something. He's been dating Mikumi, Zarbon's Daughter for years. And... He loved her. But when he was talking to her about their previous relationships. He found out that she was involved with Captain Ginyu, and that they had a child together but it passed.

Jeice normally wouldn't care, but... He couldn't help but feel insecure knowing his own leader was involved with his girlfriend in the past. Jeice... Did know. But it didn't bother him, before she said all this. And now, he felt like he wasn't good for her. Ginyu was his leader, he was his second in command and he valued him.

But why was he jealous? Mikumi loved him and only him... He knew what he had to do. So he steeled himself and walked to her room. Upon arriving he took a deep breath.

"Mikumi, we need ta talk." He said.

"About what?" Her angelic voice said, Jeice only felt more guilty about what he was about to say.

"About us… Fahkin' too right, mate." Jeice said, Mikumi frowned.

"What about us?" Mikumi asked once more.

"U-Um..." Jeice swallowed a lump he didn't even know was there.

Come on, Jeice. Ya can say it. Just tell hah ya want ta break up. Give hah the bloody, "it's not ya, it's me."

Jeice was struggling, he couldn't bring himself to... Well, speak. But seeing her face, he finally decided to do it. He took a deep breath.

"Well, I want to bre-" Before he can say it, a bright light engulfed the room and caused Jeice to shield his eyes, Mikumi did too, and when the light subsided, he saw a figure that looked similar to him, light red skin- though, his was dark red. Golden Eyes, White hair similar to his, he wore a ripped denim jacket that was black and had a dark red undershirt, ripped blue jeans with a brown belt and holster with a gun, and white socks with red and white sneakers.

This kid was a carbon copy of him, down to the look, and exception of eyes. Jeice blinked a bit and before he could speak the kid spoke up.

"I'm JJ, I am here to say, whatever you're going to say next is going to ruin things." The kid now known as JJ said.

"Wat ahah ya saying?" Jeice asked.

"I'm saying, don't do what you're about to do." JJ urges.

"Wy?" Jeice asked once more.

"Just don't. It'll effect the future." JJ said.

JJ Lebeau, was someone who spent most of his days cleaning up any messes in any timeline. Mostly ones interlinked with his personal life. He wasn't like his associate Trunks at all when it came to fixing the past and protecting everyone there. JJ wanted to ensure his spot in the multiverse he grew up in.

So mix in his job with his passion for his family and you get a cocktail of conflicts. JJ was supposed to work with other universe's as part of his job but he couldn't help it if he hears a call from a Universe that had an instance of his parents being at the verge of a breakup he'd go.

But currently this doesn't matter, the universe he went to WAS the universe where he was conceived in. If he didn't do anything to prevent them from breaking up. His existence would be nothing essentially.

By this time, you already are well aware that JJ is Jeice and Mikumi's son from the future. A fact that he kept from any iteration of his parents as per the rules of the Time Patrol Squad. Atleast with their branch of things.

Time Patrollers are often sent to fix "Timeline Issues" they aren't directly allowed to speak to the people who they are interacting with. While what he and his buddies do are fixing timelines that had been damaged during shenanigans. Think of Zamasu and Goku Black.

JJ was born as Jeice Junior. His mom and dad had named him that because according to his Dad, he was "special and your mom wanted to show how much she loved me." If he was a girl they would have named him Jeica. Although he remembered having a sister named Jeica...

His parents were very much in love which he found very sweet. But things got very ugly quick in the past. Apparently his parents were going to break up because his father- with his unresolved insecurities and jealousy issues- had found out that Ginyu, someone who JJ considered a family friend and Uncle was involved with his Mom in the past.

His father freaked out and instead of telling his mother about his insecurity was preparing to break up with her. JJ knew he has to do something and that's what he did.

Currently, Jeice was confused about the male in front of him. He just told him... About how he'd regret his decision. What does this stranger who looks suspiciously like him.

He began to believe there's something more to this kid then there is. And he turned to face Mikumi.

"Mikumi… We'll av this chat lader." Jeice said.

"No, we need to discuss this now, you don't simply just come in here and ask to talk about our relationship and not do anything!" Mikumi snaps.

Jeice winced, he felt like a bad boyfriend now.

"I… I look, i was garn ta ask ta break up-" Jeice starts.

"Why?"

"I said I was not liyyke I was garn ta do it!" Jeice argues.

"I need to fucking know why!" Mikumi snaps.

"It's because of Ginyu okay!" Jeice said.

Mikumi was shocked. "G-Ginyu? Why?" She asked.

"…It's… I don't know, I am fahkin' afraid that ya… Might leave me fawr him. I would nevah be as good as gold as him!" Jeice said, he was on the verge of tears.

"...Jeice, I... I would never leave you... Why are you saying all this?" Mikumi asked.

"Evah since ya tol' me about ya 'n ginyu's past… I was fahkin' afraid ya might leave me fawr my best cobber." Jeice sobs on the floor. Mikumi looked at Jeice worried and hugged him.

"Jeice... I would never leave you... I love you too much for that to be a thing." Mikumi said, wiping his tears away.

"I know, i just… Seein' ya get too close… I.. Can't help but think it." Jeice said.

"Because I was with Ginyu in the past doesn't mean I would go back with him. I... I love you and only you..." Mikumi said.

"…I… I know… I'm sawrry…" Jeice said.

"I love you, never forget this..." Mikumi said.

JJ looked at his "parents" and disappeared.

Mikumi looked to where JJ was and turned to face Jeice.

"Where did he go?" Mikumi asked.

"I don't know, but i reckon i found out wat he reminded me of." Jeice said.

"Who?"

"I reckon that's our son."

[capinejghafa]

Hey, I thought I'd add into the people telling you that you're completely right and you should say it about Inej/Kanej. This season gives the air of Kaz doing everything she's asking of him and her running away and acting like it's not on her own inability to deal with her trauma. Inej Fails Kaz at every turn this season when it comes to emotions. He lashes out after the Pekka thing because he was Worried, he specifically asked her there for Comfort and she didn’t show, he's rawest he's been since his brother died and irrational, and she just doesn't bother to fight back. She just tells him to eff off and leaves. Nina and Jesper tell her she's being just as dumb as he is and she decides Again, not to bother. Kaz does open up to her about his hallucination, a highly vulnerable thing for him to do, and she decides it's a great time to throw his words back in his face. And then adding the armor scene just comes off like, despite his trying, he will never be enough. Even in the book, though her reasoning is vaguely better, it still comes off as her saying, "your disability makes you not enough for me" and I don't know how I feel about that.

Hi! this is going to be a little bit of a tangent lol

I think it's very interesting the way book!Kanej is different from show!Kanej. Even as individual characters, they are altered to fit the show verse. Book!Kaz is very much closed off than he's show's counterpart... partly because in the book, he's a teen, and in the show, he's an adult. He's driven by revenge for sure, but he's also capable of more complex emotions because he's had to grow up alone in his environment. In the show, we don't know when he meets Jesper or Inej, but we know he's lonely. In the books, he meets them a few years after becoming part of the Dregs. Sure, book!Kaz didn't have friends, but he wasn't exactly alone alone (or not completely!).

Also, book!Kaz is actually bad at feelings because Leigh wrote him that way lol... a lot of his inner monologues are great to get the audience to be sympathetic with him, but he doesn't say what he means out loud... kind of. Like he tried to Inej how he feels before deciding to stay silent ("I will die unafraid..") And I think that's where the show had to find ways to get those thoughts into action. It's why we have Kaz be more open. In the books, it was fine... but it wouldn't have translated well for a general audience, you know?

I bring this up to say, show!Inej seems to have the problems that book!Kaz. Her problems are very internal. She's very much willing to say the problems she has with Kaz's plan or make comments regarding the crows' safety, but Inej struggles a lot with romantic feelings. It's not something that comes naturally to her. She didn't have it before the Menagerie (presumably not), and she's barely experiencing it now. With Jesper and Nina... and even Wy to that extent she doesn't have to worry about that. Hell, I'd even add Alina and Zoya to the mix. She doesn't have to double guess her choices, and they can just be her family (with Jesper) and her friends (Nina, Wy, Zoya), or her Saint (Alina). But with Kaz, she does. It's not that Inej is incapable of saying how she feels lol It's just that she is not comfortable if it's romantic.

So, it makes her actions regarding Kaz seem like a fail. It sort of feels like she's self sabotaging. Like come on, Inej you can't be upset at Kaz for being mad because you said you'd help take down his brother's "murder" and then walk in like nothing happen after you said you'd help destroy him... all awhile he's probably like idk if you're safe.

Or at least, if not self sabotaging, then something like kind of expecting him to forgive her because that's what the Crows do. Especially after he told her, "No Saint ever watched over me. Not like you have."

I don't think in the books it was necessarily supposed to be seen that way. I just think Inej is slightly more honest about her feelings there and unlike her show counterpart, Inej's biggest weakness was the company she keeps, the people she loves. So rather than have only parts of Kaz... I'm thinking more of his heart than physical. Or at least work towards that. I say slightly because there's a moment where Kaz said the famous "If I couldn't walk, I'd crawl you..." and Inej's face is very skeptical. Which makes sense because in her head she was fairly certain that Kaz wouldn't come for her, but I disgress.

tl;dr inej and kaz have to be accountable for their action, and idk talk to each other.

[jaimebluesq]

Struck by a plot bunny, don't know if I should let it die.

All righty...

"The Full MDZS". Yes, it's a "The Full Monty" parody.

Modern Day AU, NHS et al are in their 20s and most of them are just surviving and paying off their student loans (*glares at Jin Zixuan, who does NOT have to do this because daddy did it for him*). NHS and Mianmian have a night out and check out a Chippendale's/Magic Mike type strip show and come out feeling 'meh' about it - NHS criticizes the terrible choreography, Mianmian the 'sexy' dancing that isn't sexy at all, and both lament the lack of Asian dancers.

Mianmian: Ugh, it's like they believe all those stupid stereotypes about race and dick size

NHS: They obviously haven't heard Wei Ying wax poetic about Lan Zhan's dick.

They start talking about all the men they know in their circle that would be ten times hotter than the ones dancing in the show they just watched, and after NHS goes home, his brain begins to work. Because NHS does NOT like to work, and has been wishing he could find a way to make money without actually working so he could pay off those stupid student loans.

And then NHS comes up with the idea of gathering a bunch of his hot male friends together to do a strip show of their own - they'll make a fortune! Not only that, but he might finally get to ogle some of his favourite friends naked (save for a thong - that's the plan at this point of the story).

So of course he goes to Wei Ying first, who's easy to convince, which means Lan Zhan will be in as well because he'll cave the moment Wei Ying asks him to participate. Then:

Wei Ying: You do know who you need to ask, the ONE PERSON every single one of your friends has had a crush on since they day they met him - even the straight ones.

NHS: *groans* do I really have to ask Da-ge?

He does, and NMJ is reluctant, but eventually gives in if only in the hope that NHS might actually put work into the damn thing. **Of note, Trans!NMJ, thus far perfectly fine with stripping down to a thong figuring he has a couple of packers to choose from that will do the job.

Wei Ying then brings JC on board - way too easy, we all know how competitive JC is with Wei Ying, and NHS is over the moon at getting to see him strip down. NMJ shows up with LXC ready to join, to everyone's shock (possible awkwardness of LXC being NHS' ex? Dunno, maybe?). Then 2 last dancers are recruited - Xiao XingChen & Song Lan. That makes 7 dancers and NHS who's happily playing choreographer and sitting back to direct all the action while the others do the work.

Everyone: Where will we even do this thing?

NMJ: *coughs to get everyone's attention* I know a guy.

The guy is Meng Yao, who managed a strip club. NMJ calls in a favour to get the hall at a very low price, and so they have a plan.

Over the weeks, much shenanigans happen. They find out another event is happening to conflict with theirs and realize they need something bigger to draw an audience. NHS suggests and Wei Ying agrees that they should do away with the thongs and go full nude, and eventually the rest are convinced - all but NMJ who is absolutely adamant about not doing it. There will be a tender brotherly scene about NMJ's insecurities about going bottomless - he's comfortable enough with his physique, but his relationship with his genitals is *complicated*. They talk, NMJ eventually agrees to go along with it no matter how anxious he is. Other dancers express misgivings or hesitance at other times, and NHS is always the one talking them up and encouraging them.

So it's almost the date of the show, and two days before showtime, one of the dancers (prob XX or SL) gets into a minor accident - they're mostly fine, but they can't dance. The choreography was made specifically for 7 dancers and the group gather to try and figure out what to do. NHS laments the worst... and then Wei Ying puts his arm over his shoulder, gives him a shake, and then...

WY: You know... you know all the choreography too.

NHS: What?

JC: He's right. Hell, you're a better dancer than half of us!

NHS: What, me? No, no, you can't possibly mean-

Every remaining dancers goes about repeating NHS' words of encouragement back at him (how dare they?!), and he fights worse than ANY of them did. They want him to WORK? To strip with the rest of them, all of whom are hot and he's just NHS?

Well, the show must go on, so NHS gives in.

The show goes well and the boys not only make lots of money but they gain self-confidence and new perspective on themselves. The end.

Other than WangXian, other pairings (if any) are yet to be decided.

[thebuginyourwalls]

One Small Wrong: Chapter 1

Heya! This is the first part of a little fan project I'm writing inspired by the world created by @not-a-space-alien for their series "Watch Your Step". I'm writing it a little free-form at the moment so I'm not sure how long it will end up being, but I'm hoping to include plenty of hurt/comfort (aka you will all confront your traumas or so help me god) and a bit of an unseelie court flavour to the main hive of Pixies in this story.

Anyways, I'm also pretty new to the gt sphere so I'm a little nervous about posting still, but I've been wanting to get involved for a while so I'm finally putting myself out there. I hope you all enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. WYS has such wonderful worldbuilding which has been an honest joy to create ocs for.

________

Blackthorn rubbed her shoulders, breathing clouds into the chilly air. Luckily the snow hadn't come to the forest just yet, but if she had to guess it would arrive any day now. Already all the substantial prey were either moving on to greener pastures, preparing for hibernation, or dying off.

It made her restless.

Her wings buzzed with frustration as she paced up and down the tree branch. She had already double and triple checked her equipment, but Apple was nowhere to be found. What was holding him up?

An hour had passed before the sound of something fluttering up to the branch behind her stopped her pacing.

As expected it was him; Apple fidgeted anxiously with the frayed ends of his woven jacket, while on his back a sharpened flint knife in a carefully folded leaf caught the light on its edge. It seemed far too big for him, and he stood like he was worried he might cut himself on the exposed point.

"You're late," Blackthorn stated simply, frowning at him.

"S-Sorry," he straightened his posture slightly, "I was just saying goodbye to everyone. Just in case things...go wrong."

She scoffed, folding her arms.

"Nothing's going to go wrong," she turned away, marching back along the branch, "Come on. We're losing valuable darkness right now."

And indeed the sky was beginning to brighten with the slow rising of the sun. They had maybe a few hours before the first golden rays hit the treetops.

Apple jogged up beside her, pulling his hazel hair up into a small ponytail. Then he seemed to change his mind and pulled it down again, twisting the little loop of twine over and over in his fingers.

"But what if they find out? What then?" He asked.

Blackthorn rolled her eyes.

"They won't."

"But I can't hunt!" he whined, "Everyone knows it. They'll find out you helped, and then they'll exile us, and we'll have to find a new home. During winter! And-"

Blackthorn turned on her heel, grabbing Apple's shoulders roughly. He squeaked, dropping the loop of twine from his hands which disappeared into the tangle of bare tree branches below.

"Look. This is your first time bringing food back. You're nervous. I get it," she squeezed his shoulders, "But just because you've never caught anything before doesn't mean you can't. You're going to do fine. Nobody's going to be exiled."

He shut up in response to that, but pouted like he had more to say. She raised an eyebrow expectantly, and he squirmed under her gaze. Finally, he looked away from her and spoke.

"If you really think I can do it, then why are you doing this for me? It's not allowed. Why risk yourself if it's not because you think I'll fail?"

She winced at the question, knowing in her heart that it was true. He hadn't done well in most of their training up to this point, and being sent to catch his first prey in the colder months was almost the same as the hive telling him to go find a nice hole to die in.

She sighed and released his shoulders with a soft pat.

"I meant what I said. I don't think you'll be a bad hunter," she glanced up at the pale grey sky, black branches contrasting harshly against it.

"But autumn is a tough season to be sent on your first hunt. I...told them it was unfair, Mother didn't listen. She's been..."

She shrugged, shaking her head.

"I don't know. Mother's been Mother. She'll brighten up around springtime, and then there will be plenty for you to catch on your own. Just think of this as me giving you a little extra time."

Apple nodded, looking unconvinced, so Blackthorn tried a smile. She wasn't good at seeming enthusiastic, but Apple was someone who responded to the feelings of others. At ease when they were at ease, tense when they were tense. And Blackthorn was always tense. Even Hemlock, her ever dour mentor, had told her she needed to relax.

"Besides," she continued as brightly as possible, "I won't technically be killing anything for you, I'll just be trapping it."

That finally earned her a smile in return, and he nodded a little more enthusiastically. Good. He needed the confidence.

When she buzzed from the branch he followed quickly, not dragging his heels as he usually did. They flew from tree to tree, ducking from the sight of birds and sticking close to the trunks.

With the night quickly fading away they were becoming more and more at risk, and though a fight against a predator had never worried Blackthorn, she wasn't so sure about Apple.

He wasn't like her, with her spines and claws and sharp teeth. He was the spitting image of the aunt that had birthed him; bright olive skin and soft, silvery wings not fit for exhaustive flying. But even Aunt Hazel was large and strong. Apple was young and clumsy, and he was also going to be spending far more time outside of the hive than Hazel which put him at higher risk than her.

"Is it far?"

His question brought her out of her thoughts. She looked over her shoulder, noting how he was sticking close to her like a shadow. That was probably for the best.

"It's just down here," She fluttered down to the forest floor next to a dry thorn bush, her weight cracking the thin crust of frost that had formed on the leaf litter.

She waited until Apple had safely made it down before she pulled back the branches of the bush, revealing a small space wherein two Pixies could lie in wait quite comfortably. Her snare equipment was here too. Nothing too complicated; just enough to catch something like a mouse or a small bird. A believable first kill for someone like Apple.

"You wait there," she indicated to a smooth stone in the centre, gathering her tools into her arms, "I'll set this up and we'll wait until something gets snared, then you finish it off. Don't come out until I give the all-clear, understand?"

He nodded, though his antenna drooped a little in disappointment, and sat himself down on the stone. Despite his timidness she could tell there was an air of anticipation about him. The transition into a role in the hive was an important one; it solidified his right to live there, paying back the debt of his raising by the Aunts and other hive-mates.

She couldn't blame him for feeling guilty that he wasn't doing this by himself. But once he came back with an acceptable kill everything would be easier for them both; No more risk of exile for him, and no more worrying about his fate for her. He could earn his keep legitimately another time, when the weather was warm and prey was abundant.

----

It took her about an hour to set up and find bait for the snare. With all the animals already stocking away what they needed for the winter, it was remarkably difficult to find any food that wasn't too mouldy or small to be worth any creature's time.

Eventually she came away from her search with a handful of chestnuts, trying her best not to think too hard about her own empty stomach. Breakfast could come after helping Apple.

With the trap readied she returned to the bush, where Apple was sat with his chin in his hand, absently scratching random shapes into the dirt with a twig.

He looked up when she came in, immediately panicking a little and scuffing out the doodles with his foot. He straightened his posture, trying to look serious.

"Uhm, welcome back. Is it all set?"

"Mhm, now it's just a matter of time," she sat herself down, pulling her own flint knife from its sheath and beginning to sharpen its edge quietly.

Apple watched her with interest for a little while, but quickly grew bored when he realised she wasn't going to be making conversation. He picked himself up from the rock and went to peek through the thorn bush at the trap in the clearing, flickering his wings irritatedly.

"Are you sure we're not meant to be doing something? We really just sit here?"

Blackthorn lifted her knife to the light, inspecting her handiwork.

"Yep," she placed it in her sheath and smiled, amused at how little he had changed in all this time. Other than being a little taller, he was just the same as that impatient, adventurous hatchling she had been assigned to train so long ago.

"Just sit back down and make sure your knife is sharp. You'll need to use it soon."

When he didn't move from his spot she huffed with annoyance and went to get up, but then all of a sudden he was pushing his way through into the open and she had to scramble to catch up.

"What are you doing?" She hissed after him, as he marched confidently into the clearing. Knifeless. Camoflagueless. Defenceless.

He was going to be the death of her, she swore it.

"I'm just checking it!" He called over his shoulder with a smile, "It'll only take a second!"

"There's nothing in it," she swept her arms in a wide gesture towards the snare, "You can see that from here!"

"Yeah, but...I don't know. Maybe you got the wrong bait or something? I just wanna look at--"

Snap.

The noise permeated the silence like a thunderclap, and was followed by more snapping of twigs and branches as something large moved through the woods towards them.

Blackthorn's eyes shot to Apple, who had frozen mid way between her and the snare, staring at the approaching shape in a state of shocked paralysis.

She willed her body to move, but her feet remained rooted to the spot for a second too long. The shape broke the treeline, and in an instant a fresh chill ran through her blood.

---

Blackthorn had heard many stories of humans. She had even seen a few from a distance.

None of it had prepared her to see one up close. They were much like Pixies superficially, but with just enough differences to hit an unsettling nerve. This one was wearing something on its head with a kind of shelf over its eyes, casting them in ominous shadow.

Most scary of all however was the sheer size of it. It towered over all the shorter shrubbery and plant life, crushing the frozen leaves and empty seed casings with each of its thunderous footsteps. It was a wonder to her how it had even managed to sneak up on them in the first place. In the back of her panicked mind Blackthorn cursed herself for being too focused on Apple's stupidity to actually listen for approaching dangers.

"Th-Thorn-"

Apple's voice snapped her out of it. His terrified face was now turned to her, ears flat and antenna flared with worry. He was right in the human's path; if he moved now it would certainly see him.

With a shaking hand she pressed a finger to her lips and slowly crouched low to the ground, glancing up quickly to the human. It didn't seem to have spotted them yet, but its gaze could turn downwards at any second.

She looked back to Apple, who had copied her stance but still stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the dark brown leaf litter. He had no chance. He would be seen.

Another heavy footfall made her flinch as the human stepped fully into the clearing, blinking its brown eyes against the rays of sunshine that were filtering through the sparse tree canopy

Blackthorn took a breath, trying to concentrate. She could feel her magic bubbling through her veins to her fingertips, like pins and needles.

In a last ditch effort she threw her hand out, casting a glamour over Apple just as it looked down. In an instant all the background noise of the forest seemed to bleed away into nothing as it stared directly at Apple.

Then it began to crouch, and for a terrifying moment Blackthorn thought that she had somehow messed up her spell and left her brother exposed to the view of this giant.

Its fingers moved towards him, and the olive green colour of Apple's skin changed to a sickly pale colour as the shadow cast over him. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands balled into little fists at his sides. Blackthorn reached for her knife instinctively, although part of her knew it was hopeless. He was done for.

Then, by some miracle, the human's hand passed over him, ignoring his presence as if he were nothing but another piece of debris.

Blackthorn could practically feel the wound spring of tension in her core loosen. But nonetheless she slowly drew her knife, not daring to even blink as she watched the human's hands carefully. One wrong move and she would jump to Apple's defence, not caring that it would certainly get her killed as well.

But instead it poked at the snare she had set up, humming curiously to itself.

In her effort to disguise Apple she had totally forgotten about that thing. Perhaps she had assumed the human wouldn't even notice an unnatural assortment of twine and sticks so far below it on the ground, but this one seemed to have an eye for detail.

It tilted its head and tugged gently on the stick that was driven deepest into the ground.

Apple began to curl himself into a little shaking ball. He had opened his eyes again (a mistake, for sure) and was now uncomfortably aware of how close he was to the looming form of the human.

Blackthorn wished desperately that she could offer him some comfort, and more importantly instruct him to stay still, lest the human's curiosity transfer to the strangely moving leaf below it.

Luckily it seemed to be preoccupied with the snare, uprooting all her hard work with ease as it stood back up to its full height. Blackthorn's heart sank as she watched her carefully constructed trap crumble to bits in its hands, and just as quickly as it had pulled it up to get a better look, the human discarded the remains with a dismissive shrug of its shoulders.

Then it moved forward, heavy boots mercifully missing Apple by a few inches as it stomped back into the undergrowth. Blackthorn released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding as she watched it go; Neither her nor Apple dared to make a move until they couldn't hear the movements of the human any longer.

Even then, Blackthorn waited until the silence gave way to birdsong and the skittering of small creatures in the brush before she left her spot. She flitted across the ground in a blink of an eye, dropping her knife down beside her as she knelt in the dirt over Apple.

As soon as she was near him he unleashed a terrified wail and threw his arms around her, immediately sobbing so hard that his whole body shook. He cried incoherently about how scary it had been, and how he was sure it saw him, or was going to crush him without even knowing.

Her mind felt numb and fuzzy, and so she could only hug him back and hush him gently in response.

Ahead of her she could see the broken snare, now indistinguishable from the other bits and pieces on the forest floor. Something about it sparked a flame of anger in her chest, the sharp spines along her skin beginning to bristle the more her dark thoughts fed it.

That stupid, oafish thing. Stomping around like it owned the place. Destroying her handiwork. Scaring her brother. Ruining their chances at a successful hunt.

And its presence only meant that there would be more. Humans were a social kind, or so she had heard. Where there was one, more would soon follow and chip away at territories until entire hives were forced to flee and find new homes.

Blackthorn thought of her own hive, and realised with a cold dread how many would be left behind in such a situation. She would be considered strong enough to go, but Apple... Not to mention all the little hatchlings too small to fly.

She narrowed her eyes at the darkness the human had disappeared into. She couldn't let that happen. Something had to be done to drive it off. Somebody had to take drastic action before more arrived and made their nests here.

"Apple," she said firmly, peeling away her brother who had gone from sobbing to merely sniffling weakly into her shoulder.

His face was puffy and tear stained, and when he looked up at her he seemed to flinch away just a little, caught off guard by the fierceness of her expression.

Despite his fear she didn't bother to put on a fake smile for him. Anyone could see from the way her spines bristled and her tough wings rattled against her back that she was angry.

"Y-Yes..?" He choked out, watching her warily but not yet wanting to step away from the embrace.

She looked at him seriously, hoping her scowl would be enough to keep him from arguing with her.

"You need to go back to the hive. Right now."

Not arguging seemed too much to wish for, as his face immediately went pallid with terror and his fingers clutched her arms even more tightly.

"No- Please! D-Don't leave! Don't make me go alone!" his face crumpled, and more tears welled in his eyes.

"I-I don't know what to do. I don't know how to hide like you--It'll see me and I'll lead it back to ever--everyone else-"

She shook her head and wrenched herself free from him. It hurt her to see him so afraid and desperate for comfort, but she couldn't afford to be soft on him now. Not when such a tangible danger loomed on the horizon.

"Don't be a child, Apple," she snapped, "It's headed away from us, you won't cross paths with it again if you go right home. I'm sure even you can manage that."

Her cruel words had hurt him, she could tell. His antenna lay flat against his head and he seemed ready to start sobbing again, but he didn't move away, only wringing his hands and fluttering his wings anxiously.

"But--But I don't have anything," he protested further, "They won't let me in."

Blackthorn wanted to yell at him. Tell him he was an idiot, and that if he was going to cry over every big predator he met then he really wasn't fit to be a hunter. Anything to get him to fly home quickly without her, but her resolve was slipping.

It had always been her weakness. She had all the skills of her seniors at the hive, but she lacked that coldness that granted them such clarity of mind. She wanted nothing more but to hold Apple's hand all the way back to the hive. Yet she knew that would only seal both their exiles.

Hemlock had already been suspicious when she had told him she was going hunting on the same day Apple was having his trial, but he could perhaps be convinced if they arrived separately. Getting back at the same time with the same story about a human in the territory was more than enough to prove she had interfered. And she wasn't going to return home first and risk leaving Apple outside by himself long enough to gather a mock search party--if Mother even agreed to send one at all.

No, it would have to be him. She could handle herself just fine out here.

"Tell them you saw a human," she answered finally, shoulders slumping as her tone softened, "Don't say that it spotted you, just that you saw one in the distance. That's more than enough reason to head straight back home. They can't blame you for following the rules."

Apple sniffled, shaking his head.

"But what about you..?"

"I'll be fine," she assured, "I'll follow it to make sure it doesn't start heading for the hive, and then I'll come back around sunset. That way it won't seem like we went hunting together."

That was merely a comforting lie. Blackthorn had no real sense of knowing when or if she would be back, but she couldn't dwell on how this might be their last conversation. It would be best to keep it short, and let her brother believe everything would work out alright.

Besides, the anger in her chest was only growing with each second. She had to do this. Even if she couldn't get the human to leave, she was going to make sure it never wanted to go anywhere near her kind again.

"Go," she took another step back, wings unfolding behind her, "Stick close to the trees and the shadows like I taught you, alright?"

Apple moved forward, as if to stop her, but she was much faster than he had ever been and fluttered out of his reach easily.

"Thorn, wait--"

"I'm serious, Apple. Go home. We can hunt together another time, just--let me handle this."

He shut his mouth, retracting his hand with a small, solemn nod. He walked slowly to the base of the tree that they had been hiding beside only to linger there for a moment longer. He gave a final glance over his shoulder at her like he was hoping she would change her mind at the last minute, but she simply crossed her arms at him.

"Don't fly too recklessly, and look out for spider webs," was all she said.

His whole body slumped dejectedly as he turned away from her, defeated. Then, in a flash of his silvery wings he was lost to the remaining shadows of the forest.

Blackthorn took a beat to be impressed by how his stealth had improved. When the vivid plants of spring and summer bloomed again, she was sure he would master the art.

"Right," she looked away, pushing Apple from her mind. From her vantage point on the ground she could more clearly see the path of destruction the human had waged on the poor withering shrubbery.

It seemed that something so big was incapable of moving gently, which made it all the more alarming that she hadn't noticed its approach the first time. She would have to be careful, stay out of its line of sight.

Crucially, she would have to know if it had a nest nearby. Some humans seemed to travel far beyond their territories for seemingly no reason, but if it was living here then she had to be sure it wasn't living with others. The idea of facing multiple humans was daunting indeed, so she would need all the information she could gather to act effectively.

She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Now that she was alone it was easier to slip into her instincts as a hunter, and this was to be her biggest quarry yet. But she was practised, and patient, and armed with the element of surprise.

In a strange sort of way, the idea of doing something so dangerous was a little thrilling. So much so that she couldn't keep a small, vicious smile from crossing her lips as she flew up to the tree canopy and began to tail the human's tracks.

[angstymdzsthoughts]

wow im loving this new ask layout.

it was post canon and wwx has been living with his husband and son in cr for a couple years now. jc is still somewhat reluctant to talk to him but he understands. jl comes by to nighthunt with his friends regularly. one unlucky day wwx had a mishap with resentful energy during a nighthunt accident and lsz died in the process.

everyone was heartbroken but wangxian were absolutely destroyed. they stayed in seclusion for months. wwx couldnt stand the guilt and had no face to see his son's friends and the other lans. even when lwj finally had to come out for sect duties wwx chose to stay in seclusion. he abandoned his regular cultivation and swore off demonic cultivation forever. in an effort to cheer up his husband, lwj persuaded him to go on a trip to worship the gods to pray for sizhui's death anniversary.

they came across a small temple, old and rickety and overgrown, and out of kindness they cleaned up and left a small offering. wwx just wanted his family back. lwj wanted a chance to start all over again. it suddenly stormed heavily that evening, so they had to take shelter in the temple for the night, taking caution to ask for permission from the resident god.

when they woke up, they were at the cloud recesses. lwj woke up in his old bedroom in a body that felt too small. wwx woke up startled in a guest bedroom in cr with jyl sitting by his bed.

"a-ying? did you have a nightmare?" wwx choked back a sob and just hugged his shijie for comfort. only then did he notice that he felt too small, and too soft. he looked down at his hands, then at his body. he was somehow a girl.

then jyl's presence in his room would make more sense. girls and boys dorms are separated in the cr. wangxian woke up as an alternate version of themselves with their original memories as well as the memories of their new body. lwj was still lan er gongzi. but in this body, she was just wei ying, a senior disciple of yunmeng jiang.

wangxian met each other again in class and wy took caution to not vex lqr too bad this time, lest he disapprove of their inevitably impending union. jc eyed lwj furiously when he approached wy after class to talk privately. it seemed that the two of them were the only ones reborn.

the first thing lwj did after that was ask his uncle to send a formal betrothal request to ymj for wy's hand. which to lqr was weird, but lz wouldnt budge. he thought lxc could still marry a more proper wife, so its fine.

they spent the rest of the year courting, lwj was in such a rush to marry wy. wy wasnt /actually/ jyl's little sister so it was no issue if she married first. meanwhile, jyl's betrothal was broken. this time by her own brother who punched jzx so hard he broke his nose. wangxian got married a year after they finished studying in gusu.

everyone was overjoyed when wy got pregnant. even mdm yu was happy for her. when their son was born, lwj recognized his soul to be their a-yuan, and wy cried her lungs out in joy. their little son had his old nose, lwj's nose, but now the rest of him look like them too. his hair was midnight black like lz's but with wy's playful curls. he had wy's ears and little constellation of moles on his skin. he even had lz's light eyes.

lqr wouldnt let go of his grandnephew that lan huan had to bargain with his uncle to be able to hold his nephew. after a-yuan could walk, they went to visit lotus pier. the toddler /adored/ jiang cheng, laughing and squealing loudly in his arms. he loved getting head pats by jyl and kept demanding attention from mdm yu by pulling on her skirt or hugging her leg and crawling into her lap. he wasnt so fond of jfm, however, only looking away in disinterest or reaching out his hands to his parents. for once jfm felt left out in his family.

wangxian wracked their brain trying to stop the sunshot campaign from happening, but wrh's power ran deeper than they thought and they could only postpone it, not prevent it completely. the wens attacked lotus pier first, burning it to the ground and killing jc's parents. the jiang siblings ran to cr, but it only served to bring the wen dogs sniffing at cr's door.

wy is talented in cultivation, but having sworn off resentful energy and having to protect the sect's children as well as her own, she could only do so much while her husband was taken to the nightless city.

lwj eventually managed to escape and jc with the help from qinghe nie managed to gather the survivors of his sect. they all went to war and the sun was finally shot. lwj came home to wy just in time to tell him they were expecting a daughter.

this time there was no yin hufu for jgs to fight over, just the remnants of the wen sect. knowing llj would abuse the war prisoners, lwj spoke up and ppl listened when he proposed the wen remnants go to qinghe for trials. civilians are left to themselves while criminals are sent to labor. the resouces belonging to the wen sect was distributed to other sects both big and small depending on how much casualty they suffered under wrh.

jzx fell in love with jyl during the war and got married as soon as it was over. jin ling was born not too long after a-yuan's little sister lan yuyan. together jyl and jzx forced llj to give out resources for jc to rebuild his sect.

3zun still became sworn brothers and wangxian didnt exactly know when jgy got married, so he still married qin su. jgs had jgy kill nmj, and when jgy wont agree to spy on gusulan he had another one sent. lwj sent nmj a missive not to trust jgy with calming and avoided his death.

it took a couple years, but when jgs thought he was ready he even imprisoned jzx and his family in koi tower, depriving them of any communications and arrested disciples that are loyal to jzx.

llj was gearing up to war once again, this time against everyone else. jgs had, unbeknowst of everyone, gotten the note on core melting hand technique and had xue yang learn it.

wangxian reached out to nhs, trying to find a way to kill jgs. realizing that jgs was fully prepared to kill lxc, jgy turned his sights over to jzx, admitting his faults and teaming up to kill jgs. jgs had jzxun attack qinghe, but it was easily defended against. xue yang led the troop against cloud recesses.

xy aimed at the main lan family and injured a-yuan. in a desperate attempt to save his family, lwj jumped out and xy destroyed his golden core. meanwhile, he still sent spiritual energy towards saving his son. distracted by his victim, wy managed to cut xy's head off. back in llj, jgy along with jzxuan and jc attacked jgs's forces in koi tower. jc beheaded jgs and with that this new war was over.

thanks to lwj, lan yuan was fine and his injury was stabilized. however the destruction of lwj's golden core not only take away his cultivation but also mangled his meridians. wy could do nothing but weep with her daughter in her lap while lxc and lqr played healing for her husband.

lwj died in his sleep that night, finally exhaling his last painful breath while wy fell asleep from crying. his funeral along with those fallen during the attack was held a few days after. wy didnt look like herself in the mourning clothes she wore along with the children.

wy was inconsolable and kept apologizing the the children. especially a-yuan. fate had been so cruel on him that he couldnt grown up with two parents twice over. it seemed that in this life too he would be named sizhui. wy refused to move and kept sigil by lwj's coffin.

suddenly su minshan came out of nowhere and started yelling at her. calling her a jinx and an unlucky bitch that shouldve prevented her husband from dying. lqr yelled at him to leave. two and a half year old lan yuyan tried to shoo him away, punching at his knees. but the adult man just kicked the little girl away. jc couldnt stay silent anymore and wrapped zidian around sms's neck and pulled, making sure his neck broke when hitting the floor.

wy didnt say anything. she just took her crying daughter and left. after making sure lan yuyan is alright, wy locked herself in her room for 3 weeks. she didnt even open the door when her kids come knocking and begging.

it broke lxc's heart to see once again two children waiting on their mother's door. he asked jyl for help in persuading wy to come out. when they came in, wy looked like a ghost still in her white mourning robes with a whole head of white hair and her eyes so weary from weeping. she fainted soon after opening the door.

they checked on her only to find out she was 2 months pregnant. the tears start anew for wy and jyl asked lxc to take wy back to lotus pier so she can recuperate with her sworn siblings. lxc and lqr reluctantly agreed and wy came with jyl and jc back to lotus pier. jzxuan became the new sect leader and severely punished jgy along with his father's men while his wife and son stayed in yunmeng.

wy made a promise with lwj once to never let their children be orphans like they were. even if only for her kids, wy tried her best to get better. she stood out in her white mourning robes in lotus pier. wy was constantly surrounded by kids, all wanting her attention. she ate jyl food with the kids and watched jc teach her kids and jin ling how to swim. after a couple months, her dark hair came back and she got healthier. her second son lan shun was born in the middle of the hot yunmeng summer in lotus pier.

after lan shun turned 1, they came back to cloud recesses. wy had some time to accept her loss, but kept thinking abt lwj. after hearing from other lan disciples, lan yuan asked granduncle to teach him inquiry. the first time lwj responded to a-yuan's guqin strings, wy broke down on her knees. wy has been wearing lwj's headband on her forearm, so lwj attached parts of his soul in it. some of it went to bichen, which lan yuan inherited. some went to lan yuyan who inherited wangji guqin. lan shun never knew his father so he didnt want anything belonging to lwj.

for now, wy had to be content with inquires to lwj. for now they had to be content with waiting for each other on the other side.

.

[whichstoodonrockyshores]

Chapter Eighty-Four

(Gay)

If there’s one thing Wy hated about Enéas, it was his way of making him feel things. He always felt something when he wasn’t there. He had a lot of feelings about the breakup, but the main thing he felt was a sense of dread and the feeling of something being missing now. He needed Enéas back, and soon. What was he supposed to do without the other man? He was out driving around, looking for him in the closest town, knowing that he couldn’t have gone too far on the bike alone. He sighed, stopping at a flower shop. He needed to get a present, maybe Enéas would take him back.

“Hello, sir.” The lady behind the counter said.

“Hey.” He said, looking around for daffodils. They were easy to find. Wy bought a bouquet. The lady smiled at him.

“Is this for a special lady?” The woman asked as Wy handed her a crumpled up ten-dollar bill.

“No. This is for a special fella.” He said, not even thinking about it. The woman chuckled.

“Alright, sir. Have a good day now!” She said as Wy turned and left the building. He got back into the hotel and eventually, he ended up at the shittiest motel Wy had ever seen. He sighed, seeing the bike against the wall. He got out of the truck and walked inside with the flowers, and went to the front desk.

“Hey, did a big guy with a Brazilian accent come in here earlier?”

“Um… yeah. But why do you need to know?” The man behind the counter asked.

“His… mom died. And I heard he was stayin’ here so I thought I’d bring him flowers.” He explained. He felt a bit bad about lying, but at the same time, he didn’t really care. The man sighed and pointed down the hall.

“Third door on the left.” He said. Wy smiled and thanked the man, and took a deep breath as he approached the door. He knocked on it, and it took barely a second for Enéas to answer. His expression was completely shocked when he first saw Wy, but it soon contorted into seething anger. He almost slammed the door in his face, but Wy held the door open.

“Please, Enéas- just let me talk to you!” He exclaimed. “I brought flowers.” He said, holding up the bouquet. Enéas stopped and opened the door. He let him in, and sat down on the bed to hear whatever explanation Wy would give him. Wy sighed, and handed the flowers to Enéas.

“Why did you come?” Enéas asked.

“I… I wanted to come and say that I’m sorry.” Wy muttered. He sighed and sat down next to Enéas. “That I messed up with ya… and that you don’t gotta forgive me… but we can try again. If you want.”

Enéas just sat there, shocked for a moment. He looked down. “I don’t know, Wy. You’re mean. I don't know what made you so mean all of a sudden, you were so kind when we first got together.”

“... I don’t know either, Enéas. I haven’t been a good boyfriend to ya at all and I regret it. I promise that if we get back together I’ll be there. I’ll do better, I can stop smokin’ like the doctor asked…” He said, leaning on Enéas.

“You promise?”

“I do, okay? I’m lost without ya. Please, will you come back?”

Enéas hesitated. Would Wy keep this promise? He wanted to go back, but he still wasn’t completely sure if trusting Wy was the best idea. He loved Wy and wanted to trust him wholeheartedly, but… his track record wasn’t the best. Enéas lingered on it for a few more seconds, before saying:

“... okay. I’ll come back.” Wy perked up a bit, wrapping him in a hug. Enéas sighed, hugging him back, keeping him in a firm embrace. They just sat there, holding each other for a few minutes, before letting go. Wy slowly led him out of the motel, Enéas checked out, daffodils in hand. Wy loaded Enéas’ bike into the truck, and now they were really ready to go home.

“I love you,” Wy said, kissing Enéas on the cheek as he got into the car.

“I love you too,” Enéas said with a smile. Soon enough, they were home and about ready to pass out for the night. Wy talked with Cheyenne for a minute while Enéas climbed into bed and just sat there. He felt Wy’s arms wrap around him a few minutes later. A muttered ‘goodnight, I love you.’

Enéas didn’t respond. He was just laying there, not responding to anything. He felt the tears fill his eyes as he softly sobbed and cried. He wanted to go back home. At home, all he did was miss this, and now that he was here he just wanted to go back home. Manuel might be worried about him. He couldn’t call him either. He knew that his best friend would be mad if he found out he was back with Wy.

“Honey?”

He cried harder, as Wy pulled him closer. Everything was a mistake. Everything about this. He just let himself be held as he cried and cried, wanting nothing more than to be in a simpler situation. He held onto Wy, whose warm chubby body let him be comfortable. This was good. Calm down. He took a shaky deep breath and felt himself get laid back down as he and Wy finally both fell asleep.

[trassellynn]

Post series Wylan comforting Jesper during his bouts of restlessness/anxiety?

Hi Anon! Here we are, hope you’ll like it! WRITING TO FEEL BETTER  When he entered the house, Jesper rapidly and silently walked towards the staircase, hoping Wylan wouldn't have heard him. He didn't want to make him worry and he was terrible at lying about his feelings. Wy would have immediately noticed something was wrong with him. He had almost reached the first floor, when the redhead's voice called for him. "Hey, Jes!" The sharpshooter felt his own heart sink. He grabbed the handrail, closing his eyes and sighing. "Jes?" Jesper turned his head, trying to put a fake smile on: "Hey, Wy. How was your day?" "Good" the younger boy replied, slowly reaching him. "I received a letter from Nina and Matthias...  I waited for you to read it, but... are you okay?" "I..." an unpleasant lump started to torment the tall boy's throat.   "I need to stay alone, sorry..." He ran into his room (well... their room) and he laid face down on the bed, hiding his face on the mattress and letting a suffocate cry out, his hands clenching his thick, black curls. Those days had been horrible. And he tried, he tried to hide all his sadness and frustration, but his negative feelings eventually found a way to burst out. He thought it would have been a great idea, starting the university again, he thought he would have been able to handle studies, the training of his Grisha abilities and the business he and Wylan managed together. For the first period he actually did a very good job but, during the last weeks, he started to struggle. It was quite hard, to him, sitting for hours on a desk, trying to listen to the lesson while his mind was distracted by thousands, different stimuli and his thoughts were mostly about the training that was waiting for him in the afternoon. He followed the professor's words for the first, few minutes, and he ended up wondering what Fiona, his Materialki teacher, had prepared for him. And, after lesson, he felt guilty for having pay a little attention and his sense of guilt had soon started to affect his training. He kept on like these for days, until that afternoon, where he had an outburst and ended up arguing with Fiona. The woman was a very good teacher. She was a bit severe, but always just, and much more empathetic than she seemed. Jesper knew she was only there to help him and she didn't deserve his rage and frustration. I ruined everything, he thought. I ruined everything, as usual. I'm a disaster... “Jes...” The boy tried to wipe his tears, without changing his position. Wylan laid next to him, his hands rubbing the older boy's back. “Jes, what happened?” The Fabrikator sniffled: “I am a failure, okay? I am a pathetic, useless, incompetent being, that's what happens! I try, Wy, okay? I always try to do something good, but I always fail, I cannot help but disappoint everyone who cares about me! I am unable to follow a single lesson without getting lost in my thoughts. I am making messes during the training and I am a terrible student to Fiona! I bet she will kick me out of her class, after what I yelled her today! And she would be right! If I were her, I wouldn't loose my time with an ungrateful idiot! I... I...” He hid his face against Wylan's shoulder, bursting into tears. They hugged, laid on the bed, Wylan's hands gently caressing his hair and back. He let Jesper vent his tears and frustration for a while, then, he started talking him in a soft, gently manner. “It's a bad period, Jes... it can happen to anyone. It doesn't mean you're failing or disappointing anyone.” “Fiona was mad” the boy sobbed. “She's disappointed for sure...” “I'm sure Fiona believes in you. Like your father does. Like I do. Like my mother and our friends do. We all know the wonderful person you are, Jes. We cannot learn, if we never commit any mistake. And we wouldn't be humans. Hey, you know what? We can try a little trick Inej taught me: I'll bring you a copybook and a pencil and you'll write short letters to anyone you want. And in each letter, you will tell one or more of your painful thoughts, explaining what has happened, why do you feel like this and then adding a little positive thing. Meanwhile, I'll make you some tea.” Jesper rubbed his eyes with his hands, then, he sighed: “Okay.” It was quite easy writing the negative thoughts on the first part of the letters, while he struggles a lot trying to find a positive thing to add. Sitting at the dining table, Jesper soon filled several paper sheets. He wrote his first letter to his dad, saying how demotivate he felt about his studies, and he closed it with “But I'm happy we'll come to visit you next week.” He then wrote to Inej, to Fiona, to Kuwei, to Kaz, to Nina, to Matthias and, eventually, to Wylan. His boyfriend sat next to him, giving him gentle caresses, hugs and kisses every time Jes stopped to take a break and a tear ran down his cheek. Somehow, writing down his thoughts, imagining his beloved ones' encouraging answers and taking pleasurable sips of hot tea, he felt his anxiety fading and he struggled less to find something positive to write. “Inej, I'm happy you will come to Ketterdam next month. Fiona, I am happy because you taught me how to stop several bullets at once into mid air. Kuwei, I'm happy your training is going well. Kaz, I'm happy you finally admitted you miss Inej, last evening. Nina, I'm happy because tomorrow morning I'll eat waffles and I'll think of you. Matthias, I'm happy you and Nina are making progresses in you mission. Wy, I'm happy I have you by my side.” “Come here” he whispered, once he finished, patting on his own knees. “Come here, Wy.” Wylan sat on his lap, wrapping his arms around the Fabrikator's neck and rubbing their noses together. “Do you feel better?” “A bit” Jesper answered. “Maybe I would feel even better with this...” He gently kissed the redhead's soft lips, holding him closer, while Wylan cupped his face with his hands. “I love you...” “I love you too, Jes. And I know you will never fail me. We have each other and, every time we'll fall, we will be able to rise again together.” Jesper tried to add something, when the doorbell rang. He felt quite surprised, seeing a well built woman in her forties, on the threshold. “Fiona?” he said. The teacher gave him a polite nod: “Hi, Jes. I hope I'm not disturbing.” “Oh... no, I was... I was drinking some tea with Wylan and... do you want to come in?” “No, thanks, I have some commissions to do. But I thought about your difficulties at the university, when you have to sit at your desk and stay still for one or two hours. I knew a boy who had your same problem and he found useful having his hands busy during a lesson. That's why I brought you this.” She gave him a little, wooden cube, with little push-buttons on each face. “Let's try it and tell me if you find it useful too.” “Oh... thank you... I...” He sighed: “Fiona, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have behaved like that, this afternoon...” Fiona smiled, giving him a gentle pat on his shoulder: “It's okay. We all have bad moments. Take care. Hope tomorrow afternoon things will be better.” “Who was it?” Wylan asked, once Jesper came back to the diningr room. “It was Fiona” the sharpshooter answered, sitting next to his boyfriend. “She... she isn't mad at me... and she didn't kick me out of her class.” Wylan smiled, kissing his cheek: “See? She wouldn't lose her time with a failure. She knows you can do it.” Jesper gently caressed the younger boy's cheek, playing with Fiona's cube with the free hand. “So” he finally said. “Didn't Nina and Matthis write us? I can't wait to read some news from them...” *** A little note: The detail of the cube is a reference to one of my friends, who has Jesper as her favourite character and she identifies a lot with him.  And Fiona is a character she created. 

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Saw this on a Tumblr post and I'm intrigued. Do you know of any fanfic that has a line like this in? “lan wangji had fallen in love with all the enthusiasm of a child being forced to eat their vegetables” - the post seemed to indicate it might be a NHS pov or narrator fic. Any help would be lovely, thank you! @katonahottinroof

FOUND! An Elegant Solution by giraffeter (E, 205k, niewangxian, canon divergence, arranged marriage, friends to lovers, fix-it, everyone lives au, courtship, polyamory, smut) Chapter 14: Lanling Marriage of An Elegant Solution by giraffeter, and my apologies to the OP for quoting the line and not following up to your request for context until now lol. The full quote was "Wei Wuxian had fallen in love with Lan Wangji like a stone falling down a well, which would have been sweet (and kind of annoying) on its own except that Lan Wangji had clearly fallen in love with him too, with all the enthusiasm of a child being forced to eat his vegetables, and that was extremely funny."

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2. Hi! I'm looking for a canon divergence fic where the ending is LZ and WY is dual cultivating at the battlefield (not sex, just using their energy to purge out resentful energy from wy's body, guqin and flute) and this in turn results in wy developing a core - both their energies after joining together comes down powerfully to settle down in wy's body.

The ending para of the fic says about a long lost poem about lan an (? Or some other lan ancester) and his partner cultivating a new core through the same method wangxian did. It says no one knows this method.

Before this dual cultivation (not sex) wy suffers a memory loss and lan zhan calls out to him "wei ying" to tether/ground him and bring him back. It took a while for him to succeed. The fic was very angsty.

FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YLLZ WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn) what was described happened specifically the last 2 chapters Wwx didn't have memory lost tho, just an overwhelmingly resentful energy that he couldn't recognise anyone while using resentful energy but lwj was able to call and ground him back, lwj did some lwj things and  wwx ended up getting 'cleaned' with spiritual energy of his own. The fic ends with some lines from a book that was burned before.

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3. hello! its me again. I hope you can help me find this fic: wwx hides with the wens (leaving burial mounds, building his own sect) but its so hidden like i think lwj tried to go in there but its at the edge of a cliff(?) and he needs to overcome the heavy resentful energy before wwx's new village. i remember lxc is very worried that his brother cant do it and will die afterwards.

i also remember that there's a time that the cultivation world needs wwx's help bcos some demons or monster or idk appeared, like they need wwx to eliminate it. then there's one meeting scene, i think its in koi tower? they showoff some archery skills. song lan and xxc are both alive and lan yuan is also wei yuan, he's still using guqin, i think. i read it before but its not complete that time and i cant find it now. thankyouu in advancee. @httpskaixx

FOUND! 💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX survives, sect leader WWX, yiling wei sect au, slow burn, angst w/ happy ending, getting together, pining, love confessions, reunions, mind all the tags)

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4. hello! i’m looking for a fanfic where lwj is a single father at first—i can’t remember the specific details of how that came to be but a-yuan was a newborn iirc, and wwx meets lwj in a store i believe and he’s like “i know this is weird but my sister has been sending me pictures of your baby because i’ve been going through some shit” and they end up getting closer after that—and i also know that jyl and lwj were friends before he met wwx

FOUND! box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

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5. im sure i saw a post (that i cant find now sadly) about lwj encouraging a-yuan's friendship with the loud and rule-breaking jingyi because he wanted lsz to have that fun growing up, and not like his own childhood. do you know any fics or posts that mention that?

FOUND? Twitter thread by gaylittleyiibo the original tumblr post they're referring to is also linked there

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6. Hello I have a request but I am kind of new here. I can figure out how comment a request. I am terribly sorry if this is disturbing you. I read a fanfic once where lan qiren showed up to the burial mounds and decided to take wei ying as his personal  disciple. I thought J had it saved but I guess not. Eventually lan qiren gets punished by the discipline whip? Anyway I have been searching for days and any help you could give would be high appreciated. @autumnchild26-blog

Also if you know if any fic where wei ying takes the 33 lashes instead of lan zhan. I'd appreciate it. I hope you are enjoying the holidays and that you have a week. (This part put into a mood post)

FOUND? Discordant Rhapsody by nirejseki (T, 49k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, LQR has background trauma, LQR has current trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Protective LQR, protective lwj, Protective wwx, Cultivation World Politics, Lan sect politics, lqr centric, Whump, Angst)

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7. Heyo! Trying to find a fic where, during an investigation of mysterious happenings in a town, WWX and LWJ are under a curse where they can’t hear/see each other. It turns out the curse user was just some kid experimenting with spiritual energy, but it takes a while for the situation to clear up. Thank you! @solid-no-on-that-one​

FOUND! Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (T, 39k, wangxian, post-canon, case fic, curses, intimacy, getting together, romance, fluff, scars, non-verbal communication) 

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8. Hello, it’s my first time asking and also using tumblr, so I hope I don’t make any mistakes. The fic I’m looking for was Wei Wuxian-centric and a modern au. I think both him and LWJ went to the same uni, and I think they were in an orchestra? I think WWX’s aunt had dropped off baby Yuan at his doorstep and had him take care of him. I also remember a scene where he left Yuan at the uni’s nursery and he got sad idk. I’ve been searching everywhere for this fic so I hope you can help, thank you. :)

FOUND? The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby)

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9. Hello, I'm looking for a Wangxian fic that I'm pretty sure I have saved somewhere. It was a pretty short fic on ao3. From what I remember it was set in a dystopian future where magic was fading from the world. Wangxian knew each other but not well and they were not together. LWJ was a shifter, possibly a huli jing and could no longer shift into animal form. WWX had a workshop where he worked with androids and helps give LWJ his animal form back. It seemed like this was very dangerous for them.

For #9, this is super random but it caught my eye - this is almost the exact plot of a Ken Liu short story called "Good Hunting". I'm wondering if the fic in question was sort of a re-telling of that story with Wangxian as the characters? Maybe that gives this person an idea of tags or keywords to search - hope that helps someone track it down!

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10. Hello! I’m looking for 2 specific fics A) wwx is caught after the war and as punishment his lips are sewn shut because they think he can cultivate and survive. He almost dies from starvation at one point B) wwx plays a prank that changes the color of the tea and madam yu tries to drown and kill him, he ends up in the cloud recesses to recover and has trauma about lotuses. Thank you for your help ♥️ @plzloveme

10A)

FOUND! ❤️ whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 131k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Torture, WWX Lives, but basically no one else, Case Fic,   Cultivation Sect Politics, Past Abuse, WWX Whump, YL WWX, JL Needs a Hug, JL Tries, Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation, Past Character Death, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Alternating, Flashbacks, Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Depression, Not A Fix-It, Mouth Sewn Shut)

10B)

FOUND! 🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 43k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

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11. Howdy! I was looking for a vampire Lan Wanji fic where he refuses to have human blood. He's been an outcast from his clan and the towns people all fear him, and or are trying to kill him. Except for Wei Wuxian who's a traveling merchant of some kind. One night Lan Wanji goes out to hunt, and gets chased by humans. He ends up in a sink hole with an injured Wei Wuxian who ends up dying. But before he dies he kisses Lan Wanji, and cuts his tongue on the vampires fang. So Lan Wanji has to drink his blood. Wei Wuxian ends up turning into a vampire and living with Lan Wanji @crimson-gay-sought-flower

FOUND? Inevitable by Miss_TeaDDK (E, 14k, WangXian, Isolated/Trapped, Vampire, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Developing Relationship, Anxiety Attacks, Explicit Sexual Content, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining LWJ, Anxious LWJ, Gothic Armchair Romance, Running Away Together, Mild Blood, Making Love, Anal Sex, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

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12. i'm trying to find this fic where wwx is a system, and one of the alters is yiling laozu who is more of a protector. i think there was a scene with school protest? and there's also the wen siblings in the fic too. thanks!

FOUND! The Other Sides of Wei Ying by orphan_account (T, 14k, wangxian, modern, dissociative identity disorder, mental health issues, therapist LXC, slow burn, WWX has DID, past abuse, dark YZY, dark JWY, hurt/comfort, angst)

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13. Hello! To start off I want to say thank you to the mods for the hard work! I've been trying to find a fic for awhile. Im pretty sure it had multi chapters and was complete.

The main thing I remember is that it's about LWJ kinda having an idealized/rose-tinted version of WWX since it's been 13 years. So the when he returns in MXY body he finds himself surprisingly annoyed with WWX antics and flaws that he had forgotten.

The story doesn't diverge much from canon and is mainly about LWJ's perspective. Thank you! @sketch-a-doodle​

FOUND? 💙 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide)

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14. hello, for your next fic finder can i ask if anyone knows a fic where wangxian is in modern au but they're muzlims? like i know its so weird, but I can't have possibly imagine that. like I'm sure it exist but i just cant find it. its so specific and unusual sorreyy

FOUND? yeh ladka hai allah by teorusu (G, 18k, wangxian, modern, ABO, Islam, Islamic references, mating cycles/in heat, omega LWJ, alpha WWX, comfort, fluff, mischief, scenting, eid, ramadan)

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15. hi!! thank y'all for all the work you do!! im looking for a wangxian fic on ao3 where wei wuxian is taken to cloud recesses and is under the care of (married to????) lan wangji and for some reason wwx is going to get some punishment and before its done (starts??) lwj steps in and takes it for him and lxc has to drag wwx away?? thats the only scene i remember from it but i think the fic is pretty long. and im not sure but the punishment might have something to do with demonic cultivation but im not totally positive.

hi #15 here for most recent fic finder, i think my brain combined both fics into one and somehow its both the cage sun one AND the restraint one?? i read through both of them and they both fit my memory so found!!! but idk which one it was exactly lol probably both!!

not FOUND reminds me of a scene in a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (chapter 11) (M, 179k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage)

heyyoo i asked about the #15 one where wwx gets a punishment and its not that one :/ but im thinking more and im /think/ jgy might be in it too? and maybe hes the one who drags wwx away and not lxc?

FOUND! Rattling our cages and stealing the sun Series by danegen (E, 166k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, but like polite, Slow Burn, Pining while fucking, so much hair combing, wwx has a vagina, POV WWX, no yin iron or wars or plot really, Canon Era, POV Alternating, Sexism, Pregnancy, brief attempted sexual assault, still 98 percent fluff)

FOUND! Restraint and Realization by Winglesss (E, 12k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega wwx, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Arranged Marriage, Idiots in Love, Miscommunication, Supportive LXC, Explicit Sexual Content, Scenting, Fluff and Angst, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Lack of Communication) its a/b/o but wxx is going to get punished for cultivating but lwj takes it instead

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16. im looking for a fic and its driving me wild because i could have sworn i bookmarked it on ao3: cw for lack of consent, sort of? basically lwj and wwx are married but wwx thinks lwj doesn't like him and tries to seduce him, they have sex but its not good or what wwx wants and he passes out and lwj gets lxc to fix stuff?? they eventually talk it out, very angsty with a happy ending :)

NOT FOUND! A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, WangXian, NieLan, married wangxian, but there are some complications, because it’s marriage, Sex is complicated, Angst and Pining, Pining while fucking, Mature elements., Mutual Pining, HEA, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions, One True Pairing, Good Sibling JC, Good Parent YZY, Fluff and Angst, in that order, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Loves WWX)

FOUND! As It Should Be by kuro (M, 36k, wangxian, arranged marriage, slow burn, fluff & angst, miscommunication, dub con, accidental baby acquisation, siblings, running away, (from your problems), eventual fluff)

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17. Hey! This is an nsfw ask, if that's okay?

I'm looking for a modern fic with the following situation. Lan zhan is either an immortal or a mythical being, I'm not sure which. Wei ying is a human. Well, LZ has the ability to smell WY's arousal so to speak. Once LZ visits WY's apartment right after WY did the deed. WY upon opening the door after cleaning up is surprised to see LZ looking at him so weird. WY invites him inside and later finds LZ by the window opening it and letting the wind flow inside.

When they finally get together after a long time WY finds out about LZ's ability and then suddenly gets why LZ opened WY's window that time.

FOUND! Lost and Found by diamondbruise (E, 51k, WangXian, Modern AU, Aliens, Slow Burn, Alien LWJ, Crack Treated Seriously, Soulmates, Kid Fic, .....kind of, i use that tag very loosely, Masturbation, Rough Sex, canon typical cnc elements, Happy Ending) the described scene is in chapter two

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18. heyy, for your next fic finder can i ask if you might about a time travel(most probably) fic where LWJ quite literally dragged QHJ out of seclusion?

FOUND? Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed (T, 29k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nostalgia, Subtly Assertive LWJ, WWX Won't Back Down But Blushes Anyway, very mild angst, Angst with a Happy Ending) has a scene where lan zhan requests an audience with his father, tells him about what could happen in the future, and then his father comes out of seclusion

FOUND? Menace, to headache, to…nephew in law? by Nyatci (T, 5k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, LQR & QHJ, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, characters watching the series, LQR pov, good uncle LQR, cloud recesses study arc, crack treated seriously) For 18, well, it's not LWJ, but LQR was implied to have done that in this fic

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19. I was on Reddit and found this fanfic someone mentioned and I wanted to send it here to see if I could get any luck! “with WWX as Gordon Ramsay and LWJ as single dad who brings his son, reluctantly, to the kids cooking session. But he doesn't like WWX because on TV he's always mean and then later he sees how good he's with kids and stuff.”

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20. Hi! I’m looking for a fix-it series where LQR notices LWJ has a crush on WWX during the lesson period. He gives the the two of them tutoring lessons and the first part ends w WangXian making out in the library lol

The series ends w them married after fixing the Sunshot campaign and adopting LSZ

Some minor ships in the series are JYLxJZX, JWYxWQ, NHSxWN

Tysm for all your hard work in this fandom!

FOUND? Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

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[unforth]

Tell me more about prostitute x prostitute wangxian plsss *chin hands*

Oh man this story ate my entire brain for a while. @manhasetardis I got your request for this one too - here ya go!

WARNINGS FOR MENTIONS OF LWJ, LXC, AND WWX WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS. WARNING FOR PAST RAPE/NON-CON AND ATTEMPTED RAPE/NON-CON.

I've only actually written a few hundred words but basically the idea is, Lan Wangji is courtesan from a family of courtesans, famous, high end, and renowned for their beauty. Only the richest of the rich can afford to go to them. Lan Wangji exclusively tops in these interactions (and Lan Xichen exclusively bottoms) just because that's how they were trained - specializing ensures they can be as excellent as possible. (He tops for men and women and enbys). They live in an enclave, very beautiful and sumptuous (in a tasteful, restrained way), and one night while Lan Wangji is taking a twilight stroll around their private garden before starting work for the night, he hears a voice and realizes there's a ragged man sitting on the roof, grinning down at him and trying to initiate conversation. Lan Wangji is clearly above such riffraff, so he ignores him...but the man comes back the next night with dinner for two, and the night after that with alcohol, and the night after that with a full tea service, and without realizing how it's happened...Lan Wangji's resistance is worn away, and is interest is excited, and they start to have conversations...if it can be called a conversation when Wei Ying (as he learns the stranger is named) does all the talking (side note, LWJ uses Wangji as his professional name and WY uses Wuxian as his professional name). And once they get to know each other, Wei Ying has a strange request...would LWJ sleep with him? For free?

And to LWJ's surprise...he finds himself agreeing to do so.

It's a bit after they start having a sexual relationship (strictly sex, ~obviously~ no one is going to catch feels that would ~never~ happen) that Lan Wangji is out in the city serving as an escort and he runs into Wei Ying busking on the street. He's an excellent player, but beyond that, he overhears the other listeners refer to Wei Ying as Wuxian, and some pieces fall into place - because Wuxian is a well know street walker, famous for taking any and all comers (ba-dum-ching) that will pay him to kneel in a seedy alleyway. Except, Lan Wangji has been having sex with Wei Ying for months at this point and he is *absolutely* sure that no one else is tapping that. Further, Wei Ying has had panic attacks at least twice, once from regular sex, another time because dogs were barking...neither makes any sense if Wei Ying is routinely earning money from sex work. After this it also becomes clear - Wei Ying thought that Lan Wangji knew his identity all along and is surprised he didn't - and when Lan Wangji, with lots of care and feels, asks what the truth is and suggest that Wei Ying could stay at Cloud Recesses, Wei Ying interprets this as Lan Wangji prying and trying to control him (and/or is ashamed of him?) and stalks off in a huff.

It's a few nights later when one of the regulars - Wen Chao, all the Wens are regular patrons at Cloud Recesses (and Wen Qing is one of Lan Wangji's favorite partners, often they don't even have sex, they just talk) - storms out of an appointment with Lan Xichen, ranting and raving about the service. LWJ listens to the conversation in the hallway from his own room as Lan Qiren approaches the disgruntled customer...Wen Chao wanted *something* on the "nope" list...and finally he just goes "ptaw, fine, if you oh so distinguished Lans won't do what I want for money, I'll just go take it for free from that street whore Wuxian...a couple punches and he'll do anything I want, just like last time..." and needless to say Lan Wangji *fucking loses it* because Wei Ying is so precious and he would have beaten Wen Chao unconscious of his brother and uncle didn't stop him. He expects that to be that but it's hard to know since Wei Ying is still keeping away, and if Wen Chao raped him, that would explain at least some of the things he's noticed that didn't add up.

A few more nights later, he's got Wen Qing in his bed, but he can't focus. He keeps hearing dogs bark, and it reminds him of Wei Ying's fear of dogs, and he can't keep his mind on anything until finally Wen Qing is like "God I know I hate them those are Wen Chao's dogs they never stop barking like that" and Lan Wangji is out the door because he HAS to find Wei Ying. Wen Qing gathers her robes about her and follows and listens to his hasty explanation as they follow the sounds of barking and finally track them to a dead-end alley where Wen Chao and his dogs have cornered Wei Ying and are terrorizing him with the dogs in a clear precursor to doing far worse. Wen Qing deals with her cousin, and Lan Wangji helps Wei Ying, and there's a lot of comfort and talking and healing sex and he ends up convincing his uncle to bring Wei Ying in as a courtesan too and he and Lan Wangji are happily married (and still sex workers) and the only time Lan Wangji bottoms is for his Wei Ying, and the only time Wei Ying tops is for his Lan Wangji, and it's soft and gentle and too lovely for words.

This is probably waaaaaay more detail than you ever wanted but I seriously fucking love this idea and I've never actually written out the full outline, it's been living in my head since March, so here ya go. 😁😁😁

[deans-baby-momma]

Seeking Mercy-Chapter 9

A/N: This is the next to last chapter of Seeking Mercy. The epilogue to the Falling saga, Resolutions, will be posted on Monday, August 10. So in 7 days this story will be over. Just in time for my new one, Mommy’s (Not So) Good Girl to start on August 12. If you want tagged for the new story or any of my others, just send an ask HERE

A/N2: One warning, two words. Micheal!Dean.

“Y/N!” Sam’s voice frenzy as he screams through the phone. “Get the kids and get out! NOW!”

“What, why?” The panic and terror of her brother-in-law’s voice rushing through her.

“He said yes. The asshole said yes and let Micheal take over. Now we don’t know where he is or what he is up to. So take the kids and go to Bobby’s cabin in Whitefish.”

Y/N feels like ice water is pumping through her veins as she listens to Sam. Dean promised! He promised he wouldn’t do something stupid. But now here she is running around trying to pack up enough stuff for two babies and get away. Get out of town before Micheal finds her. God only knows what he would do to her or the kids, just to hurt the Winchesters.

Strapping Mavelin into her carseat and then placing the infant carrier into its base is difficult with the shaking Y/N is doing. She’s got to get her family to safety. The cabin is almost a whole day’s drive away and she knows she isn’t going to be able to do it, not with kids in tow.

As she finishes putting the last of the bags in the trunk of her Charger, she opens up the internet app on her phone and looks for hotels on the way. She slides in behind the wheel and inputs the coordinates for a hotel in Casper WY into the GPS. 

The Budget Inn is almost 9 hours away but she hopes it’s far enough for an overnight stop, praying Micheal doesn’t somehow track her and the kids down. 

Pulling out of the garage, Y/N watches as the Bunker gets smaller and smaller and then disappears in her rearview. ‘Life on the run with two kids under the age of 2,’ she thinks to herself. ‘Fun times ahead.’

A week. One whole week since she left the Bunker in a desperation to keep their children and herself safe. Seven days since Sam called and told her that her husband had welcomed in the archangel Micheal to try and save the world.

Damn him! Damn him to hell! He promised he wouldn’t do something rash. He swore to her he would stay cautious and not bow down to anything. He lied. He fucking lied! And now here she is, over a thousand miles away without any idea of what is going on back at home.

Thankfully Micheal has yet to try to seek her out. Y/N bought a prepaid cellphone as soon as she arrived and had destroyed her old one.  She texted Mary from the new number but has not heard hide nor hair from anyone. She wonders if they even got the text.

Maddox has just went down for the night; Mavelin has been out for hours when there is a knock on the cabin’s door. Grabbing her Glock from its hiding spot, she tiptoes to the front and looks out the window.

Standing at the door is her husband. Well, it’s her husband’s vessel anyway. This body is too rigid, standing too straight. Dean would never stand with his shoulders that stiff, what with the weight of the world on them for so long. 

And the outfit! Although her husband looks mighty fine in the stylish ensemble, it is an outdated look. A fashion popular back in the 1920s in England maybe, but in 2018 it is just antiquated.

“Y/N,” her husband’s voice calls out. “I know you are in there. Open up.”

Hearing his voice makes her heart ache. She hasn’t heard his voice for almost 2 weeks, with the last thing he said to her was that he loved her. Tears emerge out of nowhere and she steels herself. She isn’t going to cry. She isn’t going to let him see just how affected she is.

“What do you want, Micheal?” She asks as she props her back against the door frame, out of his view.

“Don’t worry darling. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk to you.”

“Why? I have nothing to do with anything. I have no dog in this fight.”

“Oh but you do,” Micheal says. “You hold the key to everything. Just let me in and we can discuss it.”

Hoping and praying that she is making the right decision and that Dean has enough of a hold on his conscience to keep their family safe, Y/N reaches out and unlocks the door. The tick of each tumbler clicking open seems amplified in the room.

Micheal sits in the chair and watches as Y/N paces back and forth. It’s unnerving to her how he is commandeering the room. Sitting there with his legs crossed at the knees, his arms bent and flat against the cushions on the chair, palms flat and unmoving. 

But the look on his face….the look he gives her everytime she chances a glance at him is daunting. He is complaisant and placating; a menacing smile gracing his lips. 

“What do you mean, I hold the key to everything? I haven’t hunted in over 2 years. I know almost nothing when it comes to what is going on. I’ve been busy raising mine and Dean’s children.”

“Ah-ah-ah,” Micheal tsked. “Don’t you mean Dean’s daughter and his nephew?” 

Y/N feels like she is going to puke! This fucking angel just confirmed her greatest fear. But instead of caving, she denies his claim.

“No, Dean is the father to both my kids.”

“Ah, yes. He plays the proud poppa card well. But we both, you and I, know that that little boy sleeping just in the next room-” Micheal nods his head toward where Maddox is sleeping. “-belongs to Adam, the son John hid.”

“No,” Y/N whispers as the tears she had for so long held in begin to make their way down her face. 

“Yes,” Micheal says. “The boy belongs to Adam. And now Dean knows it too. He’s awake in here you know. Yes, he is inside here-” he points to his head. “-listening, hearing our discussion. He now knows you lied all those months ago. And he also knows that it wasn’t just while he was injured.”

Y/N’s eyes snap to Micheal. “Ye-yes it was,” she defends herself but knows deep down it is no use. The angel knows already.

“Now Y/N why must you continue this charade. I have been watching you for a while now. I have seen it all. And now Dean has too. He has seen you and Adam going at it behind his back for months-MONTHS- before the accident. He has heard all the filthy words said between the two of you and how you wanted Adam to impregnate you. How you begged for his seed to load you up, to fill your womb.

“I have almost successfully broken Dean with that, but I do need your help to complete my mission,” Micheal says as he stands and approaches Y/N. “I need you to leave him. He already knows you’ve cheated, he already knows the youngest Winchester is not his son. So, leave him. Do not let anyone know where you are, where you end up. 

“Not Sam. Not Mary. Not Adam. Pick a place and go there, change your identity, your kids’ identities. I promise not to bother you. I need Dean broken and crushed to fulfill my destiny,” Micheal pauses and stares down at Y/N. “So what do you say, Y/N. Ready to become someone else?”

Two days later Y/N finds herself laying in bed at the cabin with Mavelin and Maddox by her side. She has cried all she can cry at this point. The proposition Micheal gave her tumbling through her mind. 

Leave Dean and become someone new, go someplace none of the Winchesters will be able to find or Dean dies. Micheal described in vivid detail how he would gradually and leisurely kill Dean and it almost broke her. 

The alternative was to wait out Sam and the rest of the family in hopes that they could figure out how to overtake Micheal and get him out of Dean and bring Dean back home in one piece.

Micheal’s taunts kept haunting her though. Did Dean know now? Did he know she lied? That Maddox wasn’t his son, although at the time she told him the baby was his, she hadn’t been  sure. Thanks to Micheal though, she now knows that Adam Milligan-Winchester did in fact impregnate her. 

But that was something that could be worked out, right? People raise other people’s kids all the time, right? So it isn’t that big of a deal that Adam fathered the boy Dean has been raising. 

Although, that aspect was resolvable, the fact that Dean also now knows that she and Adam had been going at it for longer than she portrayed was something she didn’t know could be fixed. That right there was a big FUCK YOU. Not only had she slept with his brother but she lied and let him assume that it was only while he was injured.

Dean, knowing that Y/N and Adam had been going at it behind his back, was going to be a hurdle she wasn’t sure she could clear.

It was just easier to disappear, right? Just fall off the face of the planet and let Dean move on. He’d find love again, she’s sure. Although it took a lot of hard work on her part to get him to open up, Y/N is confident Dean could find another woman to be loyal and true to him; possibly even give him more children. Kids that were truly his.

The idea of Dean with someone else, though, breaks her heart and Y/N starts sobbing into the pillow once again.

Another month passes before Y/N finally hears a ping from her cellphone. It’s a message from Mary.

Mary: We did it Y/N. We saved Dean. It is safe to come home.

That night, Y/N and the kids are on the road heading toward the Bunker when her formerly silent phone rings.

“Hello?”

“How far out are you?” It’s Dean’s voice and she can tell it is her husband, not the man who once enraptured his body. The tone and cadence of it is what she is used to.

“I’m in Bridgeport, so about 5 hours. Give or take,” she answers. “How are you?”

Instead of answering, Dean sighs through the phone. “I’ve arranged a place for you and the kids to live comfortably. It’s across town but we all worked together and have warded it against everything possible. You’ll be safe. I’ll send you the address. All I ask is that you allow me to see Mavelin.”

Y/N’s heart breaks in her chest as she hears his words. He doesn’t want her to come to the Bunker. He doesn’t want her anymore. The tears she thought she had all cried out came back with a vengeance; enough that Y/N had to pull over to compose herself.

“Dean, no. Please? Can we talk when I get back to the Bunker?”

There is silence on the other end and she takes the mobile device away to see that the call has  ended. He had hung up on her. While staring at the screen a text comes through.

 “134 Chestnut Street.”

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​​ @squirrelnotsam​​ @sandlee44​​  @internationalmusicteacher​​ @kricketc29​ @natura1phenomenon​​ @blacktithe7​​ @spnbaby-67​​ @travelingriversideblues-x​​  @keymology​​ @tftumblin​​ @markofdean79​​ @thevelvetseries​​ @deanwanddamons​​ @winchester-fantasies​ @akshi8278​ @michellethetvaddict​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid​ @hoboal87​ @atc74​ @maddiepants​ @delightfullykrispypeach​

[pollylynn]

Title: To the Quick WC: 1100

It’s not a lie that she's told him. It's nothing. That’s literally true. It’s a three-minute conversation with a guy she doesn't much like and whose validation she certainly doesn't need. It’s someone noticing that she's good at her job—that she is not about to be shut down by interference from higher-ups more concerned with saving face than seeing justice done. It really is nothing. 

Still, she nurses a bit more of her wine, even though she can hear the distant hiss of the shower and the indistinct rumble of whatever ridiculous show tune he is belting out tonight. She wants to join him. She will join him. She just . . . needs a minute, even though it's nothing. 

It is, at best, a moment’s fantasy, and it's not even about Stack. She spins the stem of her wine glass slowly between her fingers, letting her unfocused gaze follow the flames of the gas fire dancing in the swirling liquid. The image—gold flickering on garnet—gives something permission to surface in her mind. 

The search for her mother's killer is over. The struggle to bring him to justice is . . . a work in progress, at best—a lost cause at worst. The reason she became a cop is behind her, and she is more than her mother's case. She looks around this room she loves and sees the evidence that she is. She closes her eyes and listens close. She picks up a snatch of “Can’t Help Lovin’ That Man of Mine" in the exaggerated voice he calls his shower baritone and laughs to herself. 

Her heart is here—in this home, in an astonishingly perfect shower, if she can pry herself off the couch—and maybe she should do some thinking about where her career is going. Maybe that’s something that’s been at the edge of her mind ever since she pulled off that bluff with Bracken, ever since she clipped her badge back on after her suspension. Maybe it’s something she should be looking at head on, but the conversation with Stack is nothing. 

It’s not a lie she's told. It’s not even a secret she’s keeping. 

She swallows the last of her wine. She carries the glass to the sink and sees he's left the bottle uncorked on the kitchen counter. She takes the time to seal it up with the fancy gadget that pulls the air out of it. She straightens up a little, dithering until a sudden shift in the atmosphere stops her in her tracks. 

It’s the shower, the absence of its pleasant rhythm, and she startles, looking down at the open drawer of dishtowels she's been fussing with. Stalling, she realizes, and it doesn't make any sense that’s she’s . . . what? Stalling? Avoiding? 

It just doesn’t make sense. She shuts the drawer, harder than she needs to. She hurries across the living room and through the bedroom, stripping off her blazer as she goes, tossing it in the general direction of the bedside chair. She grabs hold of the hem of her turtleneck, tugging it awkwardly up and over her head as she barrels through the bathroom door. 

“Hey.” He seems to be surprised to see her—as if he hadn’t invited her to join him. 

“You’re done already," she says more snappishly than she intends to. 

There’s a puzzled look on his face as he meets her eyes in the mirror. She catches sight of herself in it. Her cheeks are flushed and she's decidedly disheveled, standing there in her bra and work pants, with her sweater pressed against her middle. She looks guilty of something. 

“I'm sorry. It’s just . . . it’s been a while.” He turns toward her with his hands out. “I figured you were just unwinding with your wine, but if you want, I’m happy to—“ 

"What's this?” She drops the sweater on vanity and snatches at his left hand before it closes around her wrist. There's a bright bloom of blood slashing right across the pad of his index finger. “Castle, what happened?" 

‘Warburg’s quad. Started bleeding again while I was soaping up, I guess” 

He shrugs it off, but he's giving her a sidelong look. Her reaction is strange. It's over the top, but she can't stop herself. She can't seem to find her wy to equilibrium. The realization pushes it even further away. 

“This looks deep.” She tugs him closer to the lights around the mirror. “You might need a stitch.” 

“Kate,” he laughs, but there's the sidelong look again. “It’s fine.”

“It's bleeding.” Her voice bounces off the tiles, startling them both. She ducks her head. Her chin hits between her collar bones and she can feel the thudding of her heart against her ribs. “It’s . . .  not really bleeding any more.” 

“Not really." She drops his hand, but he catches hers. He tips his head to the side and bends down to catch her eye. “But if you’d like to do the honors with the Snoopy bandage, our organization is currently looking to hire a naughty nurse.” 

“Naughty.” She shakes her head. “That’s a shame. I only do stern.” 

He flashes a wide grin at her. She's managed to recalibrate. She's matched his tone and pressed down hard on the strange, rattling feeling the word hire wants to call up. 

“Well, stern might work.” He steps in close to her. “Especially with your skill set." 

“My skill set?” She arches an eyebrow and presses herself in to his body. She wriggles and makes a show of reaching far behind him for the band-aids, the antibiotic ointment, et cetera. “Oh, you haven't begun to see my skill set, yet.” 

It goes on like that. She turns the act of wrapping an honest-to-God snoopy band-aid around the tip of his finger into an act of foreplay. He plays the swooning patient. They work their way out of the bathroom and fall into bed, laughing, panting, pawing at one another. 

He falls immediately into sleep afterward, his left hand with the Snoopy band-aid resting comfortably on her hip. She lies awake a long time, feeling unsettled. Feeling stupidly anxious. 

“It’s nothing,” she murmurs. 

He stirs, soft as the words are. she strokes the hair back from his forehead and lulls him back to sleep. She lies awake, telling herself it's not a lie, it’s not a secret, and it isn’t. Her thumb brushes over the Snoopy band-aid, and something inside her clenches. Something inside her offers up the words for it—the conversation with Stack, the things she is not saying. 

It’s a wound. 

A/N: Castle has no regular band-aids. Ever. Hmmm.

images via homeofthenutty

[calmspas]

Top 5 Health Benefits of Sauna You Need to Know

Sauna or steam bathing is one of the most popular therapies to unwind oneself in a stress-free environment. This therapy originated in Finland and is now used in spas and homes worldwide. A sauna is a room heated to 70-100 degrees Celsius or 158° to 212° Fahrenheit that heats the user’s body and lets him/her sweat. Heavy sweating causes an increase in heart rate, and this brings about various health benefits. 2

Exceptionally few things can be more critical than taking quality care of your body and getting free from stress, exhaustion, and frustration with proper relaxation. Using high-quality sauna products procured from the best sauna seller in Sheridan, WY, will help you enjoy the luxury of sauna bathing in the comfort of your home. Be it getting relief from pain due to arthritis or sports injuries or gaining quality relaxation; a high-quality sauna product will provide you an array of invaluable health benefits. 

Whether you want to enjoy the luxury of dry heat or wet heat sessions and get quality spa-treatment at your home, an infrared sauna is all you need to experience the same. Check out the following health benefits of regular use of sauna, and you will fall in love with it to incorporate it into your lifestyle.

1. Relieves Stress and Pain

Installing a private sauna in your home will help you de-stress properly. Using a sauna frequently increases blood circulation leading to alleviating muscle soreness and joint pain from arthritis or any sports injury. You will be able to say goodbye to stress and tiredness and also muscular or neural pain. 

2. Reduce Cardiovascular Disease Risks

A sauna provides the same effect as a moderate exercise. As the body gets heated from sitting or lying on a sauna bench, the heart rate increases to cool down the body. The increased blood circulation reduces the risk of cardiac arrest or stroke, or other cardiovascular diseases. Although sauna should never replace a healthy exercise habit, it can supplement it and enable people to minimize the high risk of cardiovascular diseases.  

3. Helps People with Asthma to Get relief

Using a sauna may provide relief to people with Asthma as heat opens airways, reduces stress, and loosens phlegm. Spending 10-20 minutes in a sauna will help them get relief from cough, shortness of breathing, and chest pain.

4. Helps release Toxins from Your Body

People living a sedentary lifestyle engaged in white-collar jobs do not sweat actively regularly. A sauna bought from a quality sauna seller in Sheridan, WY, will help them sweat heavily, and this will flush toxins like lead, cadmium, and arsenic present deep in the skin. This makes you feel relaxed and enhances your overall health and well-being. 

5. Unwind with friends using a sauna and get health benefits  

You can choose to spend time with your friends in a sauna and get relaxation along with other health benefits. This will not only enhance your mood and get immense satisfaction but will also be more convenient.  

Considering the health benefits of sauna therapy, getting the same using quality sauna product will let you change your quality of life for the better. 

[chxxpers]

Purple Tainted Lillies : Prologue

Sometimes, when times are rough, people need something to fall back upon. Jacob (Hutt River) dedicated himself to that something, so much so it shaped his entire being. He focused on his virtues, and yet left his flaws open - easy to manipulate, and easy to control. 

Disclaimer: 1950′s AU with Hutt River, Australia, Wy and others. Mentions/allusions of alcoholism, homophobia (internalised and externalised,) Period/Location based racism, and religious thematics included. Nothing graphic is mentioned.  7s7v AU by @facadep. Brief mentions of @ask-deus-romano‘s character. 

Words: 2,230 

Chapter One: Absence

 The incense still lingered on his flesh, the pin pricks in his fingers still bled, and his body still hung heavy from exhaustion. It was unusual for Jacob to be wandering around town this late at night, where the only noise that accompanied his quiet footsteps came from Dave’s old pub and the nature that stalked the Australian Outback. He wouldn’t normally have hung around the church until so late, sister Claire always berated him for overworking himself, but he had confessions to make - and places to avoid. He’d rather be making tapestries than be elsewhere, under the careful guidance and soft spoken false assurances the clergy always offered. He’d rather help the nuns out with their risky maintenance, he wouldn’t forgive himself for any harm that came their way. He’d rather be amongst these women than anywhere else. He refused to go home.

 Going home meant running into his mother and listening to her subtle remarks about how much of a golden child he was - how much she relied on him, and yet how much she hated it. It meant having to quietly tuck Victoria into her small bed each night, set up in the broken down sunroom out the back, where she frequently feared what might get her one evening through the cracks, only protected in her sanctuary by a rusted lock and a single lamp. It meant entering the house, and meeting Jett with an almost drained brown bottle, and whilst he’d smile at Jacob in reassurance - it was nights like those that ruined the brotherly bond they had built between them. Going home meant facing the reality that the church hid away from him.

 Jacob had taken to sitting on the pub’s verandah steps on his way home, the only people still inhabiting the pub this late into the night being bushmen and tired shift workers. He’d remain there, undisturbed by all except for the barmaid when she snuck him a beer or two, maternally rubbing his shoulder in a way Jacob never experienced elsewhere. Going to the pub wasn’t for a night in, it wasn’t for the jesting nor the merriment that radiated throughout the bluestone building. It was for the moments where Jacob could pretend to be normal and welcomed.

 He couldn’t see the differences between him and the workers that always spent their nights in the pub - he couldn’t see the differences the whiter men could. He found peace with them, they couldn’t tell the difference between his tan and theirs, nor did they didn’t question why he could speak some of their language. His natural demeanor wasn’t portrayed as alien like it was amongst his community, but he found it rather common with these European outcasts - he could be comfortable with them. He was a new family member to add to their growing list.

 That was what Santino had claimed of him the prior week, his face still sweaty after running around after cattle all day, hands shaky and filthy, but the grubbiness of his appearance was easily overlooked in preference of the beautiful way he smiled. Santino was a statement piece at Dave’s pub, an attraction that brought more woman to the bar than ever before. His accent was thick, his eyes stunning, and his English barely legible - and Jacob loved listening to him ramble, as he always did every Saturday prior. The outback of Australia was interesting to the foreign teenager, just as much as Jacob was interested in him back.

 Santino carried himself with such positivity that it was increasingly infectious, no matter the gnawing fact that he was a man that stood for everything that Jacob didn’t. He was sin, but it was refreshing - it lightened up Jacob’s world a little bit every time they spoke, no matter that it found Jacob in confessional more often than not. It wasn’t the heavy shadow haunting himself, nor the sin that consumed his blood and created an ill name for the Smith family. It was light-hearted sin, a fictitious element Jacob couldn’t imagine himself ever bearing.

 The other two Vargas siblings weren’t as exciting, Jacob could begrudgingly admit. Feliciano was a soft-spoken young man, who acted more childish than Victoria would, and was almost always found with a little smudge of paint in his hair or on his clothes. A mess with feet, Santino had once referred to him, unable to keep in his bubbling laugh at the thought. Whilst Lovino was a stark contrast to the both of them, with uncannily bleached blonde hair and the scarred body of a veteran that whispered all the stories he himself would never speak of. No one really spoke to Lovino, although.

 “Sometimes I think he was replaced during the war…” Santino would jest openly - but his eyes spoke it all. The bleached hair, and the flamboyance of his bravado wasn’t normal according to him, but Jacob liked that about Lovino. He could appreciate a man who didn’t stick to the social normalities - who loved himself so thoroughly, no matter what his siblings thought of him. Jacob could only imagine what that freedom was like. What it would be like to embrace himself that way - and step outside of what this little town wanted of him.

 But that’d have to wait another day. The pub had a very distinct absence of the Vargas brothers, and the clock was ticking by. He could have used the foreign tales and extravagant exaggerations to fill in his time, but his procrastination had come to an end. Jacob took a sip of his final beer, and stood on his feet firmly - relaxation escaping and tension filling his limbs like poison. He gave his glass back to the barmaid, where she kissed him on the cheek and sent him off on his way, and he found himself plunged into darkness again.

 It wasn’t a long walk home, even shorter from the pub, but Jacob had taken his time. The crickets soothed him a little, and the moon dutifully reflected off the water of the lake nearby,  disguising the thick red sludge and overgrowth with an luminescent glow. An absolute disaster he couldn’t help but notice. Maybe others found it pretty, he knew Jett sure did, but Jacob found it scenically poor. On the outside it was gorgeous, and was romantic to the untrained eye, but the closer anyone got the more it lost its appeal. What was so attractive about a dirty, littered, and unkempt body of water? The moon was happy to love the lake, just as the lake was happy to be a centerpiece, no matter how pathetic it was. The very idea haunted Jacob every step home.

 “Jacob fucking Smith, where have you been?” Jett called, standing at the door - brown bottle in hand, and another fisting at his own tank-top. “It’s a quarter past midnight, and Baptiste was looking for you!”

  Of course . Jacob rolled his eyes, but smiled up to his brother all the same - if he avoided looking at the bottle, he could pretend his heart wasn’t beating rapidly, could pretend that Jett didn’t know exactly where he’d been. The thought that their French neighbour had taken the time out of his day to look for him was warming, and he knew - no matter how much Jett would deny it - that his older brother had been waiting up for him out of concern too and not duty. He had probably sat out in the overbearingly hot night, sweaty and sticky, just waiting for him to return home. It wasn’t safe for boys like him to be outside, no matter how many people claimed the world was different after the war. He was too much of everything he wished he was more of.

 He didn’t have his brothers broader nose, nor tanned skin. He wasn’t strong or sturdy, and he didn’t have his carefree, distinct smile. He was lucky to not have these things, Jett insisted, but Jacob didn’t feel it. He wanted everything Jett had, and more. Even if it meant he wasn’t safe, it meant he had a little piece of home with him everywhere - the home he wanted .

 “I’m sorry- I got side-tracked and-”

 “Just come here” Jett embraced Jacob in close, the strain between them finally easing away with each passing second. “You scared me and Vic, mate. Stop doing that.”

 With a firm pat on the back Jett led Jacob into their home, shutting and locking the door behind blindly, the only light in the room coming from a single lamp on by the couch. It never did feel very alive for a living room, how could it when the couches were second-hand and worn, the tables held up barely and mended with glue or tape, and mold decorating the poorly painted popcorn ceiling. How could it even be considered living when no one ever was home. “Hey Jett… Where’s Ma?”

 “At Nana’s, Baptiste stayed and made dinner though, c’mon…” Further into the small home was the forever cold kitchen - a relief on hot summer days, but an absolute nightmare for Jacob, who felt cold just from his tire and overall dread. The cool tiles seeped into his body as he sat down at the table, Jett meeting him with a creak of his chair, and a sigh deep from the depths of his chest. He couldn’t even touch the left over food, no matter how amazing Baptiste had surely prepared the meal, he was sure he’d bring it back up. It hurt too much to breath, let alone swallow, and it only made everything worse having Jett there, especially when his body displayed so explicitly that he was uncomfortable. With trembling hands he re-tied his hair back into the loose ponytail, the only object of freedom he seemed to have under this roof.  “Can we talk?”

 “Are we not?”

 Jett grunted dismissively, reaching over and placing a hand over Jacob’s wrist, thumb pressed against the webbing of his hand with a gentle, familiar stroke. “You’re killing yourself with all of this. God’s all loving is he not?”

 “Oh, Jett… could we not?” Could we not? Jacob always asked that question, desperate to escape these confrontations. Jett always acted like he knew what was best for him - he always did this! But the answers never changed, nor did their positions, nor opinions, nor did their relationship change. The frequency of these talks drove Jacob absolutely ballistic, especially when it always ended the same; somehow, Jacob would find himself cornered by his brother, his hand gently encased, and the stench of alcohol stained on their breaths. It was more often than not that tears tended to paint Jacob’s face. “You know I only-”

 “Every single thought you have won’t upset the thing up there, Jake. Not every lil’ fucken thing will put you in hell.”

 “It’s my comfort…” He whispered, unable to retract his hand from the others grip. He felt hollow - his brother always bore through him like this with only a sentence. “If there is a big man up there, isn’t it better to be safer than sorry? If there’s happiness after this life at least I’ll get it. I could be like Ma-”

Jett shook his head in disagreement, but didn’t say much more. He had drained his bottle, his eyes staring out into nothing, exhausted of this conversation already. The clock ticked on somewhere, enunciating the precious time they were wasting in silence. “You can be lost, and still believe you’re happy Jacob. If anyone’s going to hell, it’ll be me. I can’t repent for the things I’ve done-”

 He swallowed his tongue, and the rest of the sentence remained unspoken. It was silent, the only sound being a drip from somewhere in the house, and a quiet little creak of the floorboards under pressure. Nothing more needed to be said with an admission as such, and the two knew it so well by now.  

 Jacob didn’t look up when Jett moved, nor did he look at him when he went into the lounge, rummaging through whatever he was. His eyes stayed on his wrist, even when he felt Jett suddenly tease a hand through his hair, playing with it like he had when they were children and oblivious to the pain surrounding them, blind to the agony between them alone. He stroked his hair maternally, in a way Jacob had learnt to stroke Victoria’s himself before school every morning, filling in for the affection the little girl was missing, like Jett had done for him. It wasn’t fair on them, and Jett was growing to hate the very thought of Jacob’s ‘comfort’ - and the destruction it was causing his brother. He was beginning to hate this ‘saving grace,’ when it hurt his brother like this. Jacob knew his brother hated everything the church stood for, even when it was the only positive they had left.

 With a small shift of the hair tie, Jett placed something in Jacob’s hair, stabilising it delicately. “Don’t dwell on it too much, and go rest… love you kiddo.”

 Jett left in silence as Jacob removed the flower from his hair, gently stroking the soft petals of the pristine white lily that Baptiste had surely brought over earlier in the night for Victoria. The simple gesture of affection was enough to bring Jacob into little, stifled, hiccuped tears.