#( she did her best and thats all i can say!!!
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Febuwhump Day 2: Holding Back Tears
pairings: gen
summary: a story about y/n, Redbull’s new second driver, told in non-sequential order
a/n: I love febuwhump and have participated before for other fandoms but this is a first for me — attempting to compete it via smau only. Hopefully I can write a complete story eventually and I will be posting it on its own masterlist in the correct order to read but it’ll be written based on the febuwhump prompt list! @febuwhump
a/n2: based on the 2024 year; sorry checo but you got replaced earlier!
y/n_rb
liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, oscarpiastri, and 2,112,001 others
tagged: redbullracing
y/n_rb: not necessarily the fp1 we wanted to see but damn does this track have hands. (ps drinks and pizza have already been ordered for my poor engineers — love ya guys!)
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user1: girl you should be a dancer 💃 — you spun so gracefully
↳y/n_rb: very demure. very mindful. very cutesy
↳y/n_rb: you know what wasn’t mindful or demure?
↳user2: that gravel pit?
↳y/n_rb: that gravel pit!
maxverstappen1: You’ll come back stronger tomorrow!
↳y/n_rb: I’ll come back with my fightin’ hands
↳maxverstappen1: …sure.
↳y/n_rb: how are you so chronically offline?
↳maxverstappen1: I have a life.
↳y/n_rb: just say you hate me and move one
↳user3: damn girl — fighting both the track and the teammate…
↳y/n_rb: not very demure or mindful…
oscarpiastri: skill issue I guess
↳y/n_rb: I am in your wall pastry boy
↳oscarpiastri: you are very rat like I guess…
↳y/n_rb: 🔪🔪🔪🔪
↳oscarpiastri: 😱😱😱
↳redbullracing: no threatening other drivers please! Page number 83
↳user4: free my girl! She did everything you’re saying but it’s funny af
↳y/n_rb: I like you!
redbullracing: the engineers say thank you!
↳y/n_rb: I say thank you!
redbullracing
liked by maxverstappen1, y/n_rb, lewishamilton, and 2,834,924 others
tagged: y/n_rb, maxverstappen1
redbullracing: and that’s how you do it! That’s a 1-2 for our drivers with y/n_rb getting her maiden win here in Saudi Arabia!
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user5: THATS OUR GIRL!!
user6: woohoo!!! What a terrific race!
maxverstappen1: Fantastic race today y/n!
↳y/n_rb: THANK YOU!!!
charles_leclerc: Félicitations!
↳y/n_rb: thank you better French man!!
↳charles_leclerc: I AM NOT FRENCH! I AM MONÉGASQUE!
↳y/n_rb: that’s not what arthur_leclerc says…
pierregasly: great race today y/n!
↳y/n_rb: did anyone hear anything? Cause it sounded like someone who HATES WOMEN IS TALKING TO ME
↳pierregasly: I DONT HATE WOMEN. STOP SAYING THAT I DO
↳pierregasly: francisca.cgomes some help here?
↳francisca.cgomes: wow…I didn’t know you thought this way Pierre…
↳pierregasly: not you too…
↳y/n_rb: 🤭🤭🤭
↳user7: looks like someone holds a grudge…
↳y/n_rb: looks like 2 different people need to choke on an 🍎… pierregasly user7
↳redbullracing: Page number 83!!
↳y/n_rb: 🥹🥹🥹
y/n_rb
liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and 1,224,924 others
y/n_rb: MAMA I DID IT!! FIRST RACE AND I WON!! PODIUM WITH LEWIS AND MAX!!! WOOHOO 🥳
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user8: are you crying right now?
↳y/n_rb: holding back the tears as I type
↳user8: demurely? Mindfully?
↳y/n_rb: tbh desperately
↳user8: 😂😂
lewishamilton: Congratulations y/n!
↳y/n_rb: oh my god thank you so much sir Lewis Hamilton! And again I’m so sorry for nearly bowling into you!
↳user9: who is this polite young lady and where is the feral driver I follow?
↳y/n_rb: listen when it’s sir Lewis Hamilton you better believe I’m on my best behavior
↳user9: understandable. Carry on
oscarpiastri: congrats you gremlin!
↳y/n_rb: listen here Aussie I know where you live and your mothers and sisters like me more
↳oscarpiastri: 🙄🙄
↳y/n_rb: nicolepiastri Oscar is bullying me!!
↳oscarpiastri: don’t bring my mom into this!
↳nicolepiastri: be nice Oscar! And y/n_rb dear come visit when in Australia! We’ll save you a seat at the dinner table!
↳y/n_rb: thank you mama Piastri!
↳oscarpiastri: mom!
Taglist
@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby @freyathehuntress @angelluv16 @nichmeddar @mxm47max @voidvannie @justaf1girl
#Febuwhump2025#febuwhumpday2#f1#f1 smau#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 instagram au#platonic grid#platonic grid x reader#platonic grid imagine#platonic grid instagram au#platonic grid smau#formula 1 smau#formula 1 social media au#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula 1#f1 fic#formula one#smau#platonic grid x y/n#platonic grid x you
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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OC !
#my characters#i missed her so much wowee#her name is katale and thats what she goes by EXCEPT her best friend (and ex boyfriend and boss) who gets to call her kitty#hes just like the all around best guy in her life and she loves him a whole lot#and even though they broke up they have a very loving friendship and shes like#oh i would absolutely kill for him and in fact i am VERY good at killing im honing my skills :3#and her family is actually just a bunch of criminals and the only reason the other guy gets involved#is bc he needs fast money to help his mom with hospital bills and so hes like hey my mom doesnt need to know how shes alive#and then he somehow becomes head honcho and is a rumored to be ruthless man#but hes just incredibly level headed and able to think his way up (and kills a few unpleasant family members for kitty)#and if shes running out and about you can even hear him say shit like#my wife left me i miss my wife#and everyone knows he means katale but no one knows how to react bc its clearly a joke (???) since they broke up#but no one is telling their boss to elaborate the wife situation#kitty however is the entire reason that she gets this lil puppy of an agent to not kill rudyard her dear boss#and somehow they adopt this grown man and also his really weird mentor who faked their death#but they love their puppy son boy agent man#and kitty is super happy to dote on the agent but even she has her lines like WHY DID YOU JUST HAND HIM A GUN#RUDYARD HE TRIED TO KILL YOU LIKE LAST MONTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING#and rudyard is just ??? can i NOT shove a gun into his hands now? what is that? a crime? really? gonna tell on me? a criminal? for crimes?#but genuinely it stresses her out bc she loves her adopted son but loves her best friend and eventually she realizes#ok puppy agent man is loyal to them but not a criminal thats ok#while rudyard is like ... passing him guns to try out as a bonding thing#but also he is fascinated with how good the agents aim is like hey kitty you should watch how far he can shoot perfectly#hey kitty remember all those dead underlings and how precise their kills were to make them not suffer this guy is really good#also for what its worth ruds mom is still alive! shes just in a nursing home now and he goes to visit her#kitty and rudyard have such a fun dynamic to me and both are murderers but its okay (its not)#also kitty likes anime and she has forced rud to watch anime with her and he just accepts his fate#bc it makes kitty happy to share so he will watch to make her happy even if he doesnt understand all the appeal
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i wanted this comic digitalized so bad that i used max's birthday as an excuse. :)
this is the true ending. if im insane enough ill show you the alternate ending though
bonus because i just. it just kinda peters out. longggg post yayyye
#adventure time#wizard city#together again#i realize if im all 'oh every wizard kids has to have their episode tagged' then i should be that stickler about mister death.#mr death#mr fox#blaine#digital#distant lands#long post#im gonna also throw in#suicide mention#because its not very obvious or serious but mr fox's brain did go there. sorry. and i guess thats technically the whole. hm. yeah okay. h.#larry#blaines mom#ALSO THERE. i cant. make her look right. to me. but shes. so much to me. i KNOW they have one. its so specific in my head that they do#they cannot be being raised solely by a posse of wizard guards. that cant be real.#'dont let them take you without saying goodbye to me blaine' - mom whose kid's best friend just got zilched with no warning. :| real great.#'you took my friend away' '(loading....) ohh. the old guy took him but i can figure it out. yeah. i know a lot of people one sec.'#i feel like there is more i should say. hm. but ok guess not! happy bday max. im scheduling this to post exactly on ur bday#this comic was mostly for me. but mr death is there and hes sweet. so i will post it on your bday.#au#idk if it needs an au tag but it’s getting one. i talk a lot in digital art pieces
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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these 3 make me so Sillay i cant think about them for too long lest i succumb to my little thoughts
#violentine#twdg#the way these 3 entwine narratively....ough#trying to learn as much about minnie (and sophie) as i can theres not much its a lot of puzzle piecing#most of minnies character comes from her being clems foil#its hard to figure out what kind of person she truly was before being taken#i need to like write a breakdown or something she is so nebulous to me (oops i wrote the breakdown)#the minnie we see in the cells has Definitely been broken. but i think a lot of aspects about her personality arent all that changed#all of her actions come from fear so its warped her. but her motivations i think are still the same as they were. protect the ericson kids#part of me thinks she mightve agreed with marlons decision to give them up. sacrificing herself to keep tenn and the rest safe#like i wonder if thats something she would be strong enough to do but she also kills her sister so..she def has the ability to do hard stuf#but now she believes that the best way to keep them safe is to bring them to the delta. as long as you obey youll be fine..so they say...OR#shes a coward who murdered her twin sister to save herself and now she needs to justify her actions by bringing the others to the delta#maybe thats the change. her perception of saving the others has been warped. she saved herself by giving up#and is trying to force the others to do the same#clems 'you gave up minerva. i never will' pretty much exemplifies this idea#pre delta minnie was probably even more like clem than she already is. but vi's line about her not liking killing walkers stands out to me#like..was she afraid? i wouldnt think so. did she have some james-esque philosophy of them? ehh. was she just That Nice or whatever?#wouldnt hurt a fly? i can see it. the twins brought the kids a lot of joy and peace and it really impacted all of them when they 'died'#but we also know there existed Some level of tension in her and violets relationship so things werent Perfect. they never danced...#'couldnt stand to talk to people let alone play class president' to me sounds like minnie didnt like violets withdrawn attitude#and probably wanted her to step up more. be more active in the group. the animosity coming from her just not believing vi could change#minnie says she knows vi wouldve come for her if she knew what really happened so its not like she had Zero faith in her#im under the suspicion that violet graffitid the fishing shack. 'listen before its too late' makes me 👀 i think minnie wanted her to change#and instead vi withdrew out of guilt. blaming herself for their deaths...until clem showed up..minnies foil....#and clem DOES inspire change in violet. so much so she quickly slips into the empty leadership position. keeping them in line in the chaos#its too late to save minnie but she can still try to save the others.. saved vi agreeing with clems goals but taken vi agreeing with minnie#whoops i hit the 30 tags limit.........................#wip
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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
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hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .
#just blahs#not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3#just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone#and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that#without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended#bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself#gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me#and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok#this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself#aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong#and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week#jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person#and i know that they know i didnt mean it#and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of#and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person#i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok#its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw
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*a horrifying green mist forms around me as i remember therewill definitely be a new wave of people saying loser is an asshole*
#KSJDFHJSDFH SORY IM JUST LIKE i already IMMEDIATELY saw a thing saying losers a jerk bc of the new scenes. guys its gonna be so ok guys!#ppl just want loser to be evil so bad like. no girl just made dumb choices to follow her dreams THERE IS A DIFFERENCE#she was clearly upset when winner said they didnt want to do the movie . also eEVEN BEFORE THAT#DID WE FORGET HER LITTLE SPEECH BEFORE GETTING ELIMINATED#SHES NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JUST A BIT STOOPID OSMETIMES#loser justwanted to expand her horizons AS U CAN SEE bc of all the attention (SHE LOVES THE ATTENTION!) U COULD SEE HPW HAPPY SHE WAS!#and that singular crumb of a flashback we got too . clearly she hasnt had it the best always ! LET HER WIN OK#AND I KNOW THATS ALL WE GOT BUT CMON? CMON ! GIRLIE HAS PTSD#AND IN THE END WINNER STILL WISHES HER GOOD LUCK BC TGEY ARE HAPPY SHES DOING SO WELL! THEY ARENT MAD! they just miss her !!!#does this . make sense does it make sense#loser GET DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#tpot 10 spoilers#i like rambling did u know that! ill shut up niw KJDFHSJKDF
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so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.
#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS#youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao#i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol#to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting#she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3#anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel#THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now#telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this#so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly#turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly*#shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds...#but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that#also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to#so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings#gender into conversations that it does not belong in#'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks#she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america...#girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!!#i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine#ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘
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"Anakin/Obi Wan/Yoda/Padmé/Shmi is the most tragic character in Star Wars" you are WRONG actually. L3-37 HOWEVER.....
#blah#the fact that no one ever talks about her is so messed up actually#like she is everything to me actually and what they did to her is beyond horrid#'it was life or death' IM NOT SAYING THEY HAD ANOTHER OPTION IM SAYING IT WAS TERRIBLE#this is going to get like 2 notes but i dont care because im literally right#choices were made in her creation!!!!!! she is a revolutionary!!!!!!! she values freedom for all droids more than anything else including#her own life!!!!! no matter how you feel about it they had that one like about her and lando! there is some form of jumbled emotional#romantic thread between them in some direction! and then they took this character and killed her off before plugging what was left of her#into the falcon!!! and they framed that as a good thing!!!! a GOOD THING. can you believe that?!?!?!?!#they made a character whose greatest value was independence and choice and turned them into an object to be bought and traded and bartered#and sold for ETERNITY (pretty much) and framed that as a good thing.#'this way shell be with us forever' THAT ISNT WHAT SHE WANTS#and then. and then. bc it gets worse. this cycle of buying and trading begins with her best friend (and lets be honest man she likely loved)#betting her on a card game like an object#and this will never ever be addressed#it absolutely destroys me thats what it is#SHE DOESNT EVEN GET TO DIE!!!!!!#like sw wronged her so bad and literally no one cares in universe or out except for me like 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬#sw#solo: a star wars story#star wars#lando calrissian#L3 37
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man
#i went to go see my dad bc his mom died this morning. and he was like clearly having a hard time with it i think more so than he was really#letting on. and its weird bc i was telling erik how it feels like nowadays this is like. a different version of my dad like it really doesn#feel like the same person who traumatized me and my siblings growing up. that feels like a ghost almost idk. but he was talking to me abt#his mom who from the little bits ive gathered here and there i can assume she was pretty emotionally abusive to him. but he said.#'my mom definitely made a few mistakes with me. but i have to try to move on and live my life as best as i can'. god i felt like i was#looking in a mirror. he seemed so sad it was like he was trying to convince himself. and trying so hard not to be mad even though he has#every right to. but i guess at a certain point you do have to let it go. idk. i guess i never really see him be very vulnerable except when#it comes to the church. he did talk about the church as well he said that as much as she mistreated him hes grateful she gave him faith in#god and that he thinks thats the most important thing a parent can give their child. and i didnt rlly know what to say ig mostly i was just#letting him talk. but god. it was hard. i hope maybe this is like.his chance to let go of all the hurt from his childhood. that he gets to#finally grieve it along with her. idk.#i feel like my view of my father gets more complicated every year i get older. i just dont always know how to reckon with it.
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There was a post I saw about someone who mutually ghosted a guy after a date and kept matching with him and they're not interested but it's the longest "relationship" the person had been in at that point and I'm like. Karen would mutually ghost someone.
She doesn't really tell Brent/Right/Evelyn/Chris his name (he has a double first name, Patrick is not his last name) and just refers to him as "My Guy". Like "Ah damn, My Guy matched again. End my suffering." And when she tries to explain it to Right who does NOT understand how it's different, her logical answer is "it's my God given right to ghost a polite man!"
Also I just imagine her confiding in Paul about Rick and he's like "is his name Patrick" and she's like "kinda". And after that, Paul calls him "Pattycakes" cause he's never even seen the guy so why not give him a funny little nickname. He's allowed to do so at this point probably.
#my characters#also i just think it would be so funny to have him walk into the bar when karen and the boys are all there#and she sees him and is like OH MY GOD ITS MY GUY AND HE HAS A WOMAN WITH HIM I have to go congratulate him#and she jumps out of the booth to go say hi to him and the rest of her group is staring with wide eyes because whomst#and then her shoulders drop and the guy looks nervous and then karen is just gesturing to her group#and she walks him over and is like hey this is my guy and his cousin i hate my life#and then introduces rick to her friends/coworkers in the worst way ever like.... so lackluster#thats right and hes gay and pining and possibly dating#thats brent and hes pining and possibly dating#thats chris and he might have a divorce on his track record (HEY!) but we still love him#and thats paul the disaster bisexual currently pining#she sighs then points to the bar and goes AND I GUESS ILL INCLUDE the pining hot bartender in the introductions#everyone meet rick and his cousin and rick is like oh ! paul! hes your best friend!#cause he KNOWS that name from their ONE DATE that they both pretend didn't happen#and paul is just sunshine and flowers and beaming like oh ?? OH ??? KAREN? BESTIE? MY BEST FRIEND?#and she blushes and glares at rick because DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A FACE THAT CAN HANDLE COMPLIMENTS YOU JERK look what you did to him#and rick is v sorry and feels bad about it cause hes really just some random polite guy and thats why it would never work#hes too nice for karen and she CRAVES the teasing THE BANTER THE LANGUAGE and no hes just nice bye#so he leaves with his cousin to get some drinks and walks back over after hes done#and stares at paul as he says wow the bartender really is pining like you said in response to karen and paul wants to melt into his seat#therefore karen will forgive her guy for telling paul he was her best friend (its true tho) bc he made paul embarrassed#and he smiles at her and says bye and she just nods and is like yup talk to you next time we match#and its never romantic its always platonic#they are always going to match but its NEVER going to go beyond friends#though they do become friends and hang out eventually!#yes you can tell i thought about this A LOT on the drive#oops i fell in love
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#mom says that the reason she didnt comfort me while i was having one of the biggest meltdowns of my life was cus i wouldnt tell her what was#wrong and i clearly was capable#like i hate to tell you but just because im technically capable doesnt mean i can communicate easily#im too upset to be able to communicate my thoughts to you about why im upset#she literally told me that its annoying when i cry and scream without telling her whats wrong#she said and i quote I could ask anyone in the world and all of them would be annoyed by this#she said if i just said Sorry i cant calm down i cant talk right now that would be fine like hello? is that not fucking obvious?#i said wouldnt this (being a more concerning thing) make you more sympathetic and she said no it just makes me more annoyed and this is the#normal response#she said even when normal people are throwing up and retching they can communicate whats wrong#that im just pretending to not be able to talk to her to manipulate her and that im being disrespectful by intentionally getting louder and#more disruptive#my parents are convinced i do things on purpose to guilt trip them all the time and i dont understand it because theyve known me for#my whole life and thats the most out of character thing i could ever possibly do but they wont even consider that im not doing that#i asked her why she didnt believe me when i said i wasnt manipulating her and she said I do believe you! when did i ever say i didnt#i dont understand. shes convinced that every normal person behaves like her#and the worst of it is i know shes trying her best and yet still refuses to acknowledge the fact that#I DONT FUCKING MAKE MYSELF MORE MISERABLE ON PURPOSE!#she doesnt seem to understand that overreaction can be conscious and still unavoidable#like yes its not like if i tried i absolutely couldnt calm down and talk to you#but thats not helpful! i dont WANT to try because i am screaming so hard that mythroat will be sore for an entire day!#because i am upset!#i am too upset to care that i can tecxhnically stop#i just dont understand why its so hard to believe im not manipulating her when im genuinely upset#i dont understand why she looks at me like a loose screw. something annoying but not something worth fixing#its always bad enough to warrant anger and never bad enough to warrant a solution#because im crazy but im fine and im not disabled at all
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thinking about hdb while holding my head in my hands and suffering
#my posts#i cant fully articulate this#idk if i have the time either#but. help. i will tag this with my organization tags. i may see this at some other time and maybe ill be able to so#disco elysium#hdb#im just thinking about him and martinaise harry and his childhood and the 15th indotribe thing and dora#how probably considering the type of friends he had and how they all ended..... they were probably all like him personality wise#like. im not saying they were bad people like harry was kind of an asshole but not fully#like they were all a bunch of teens in a bad situation trying to make the best of it however they can and well... didnt work out too well#but what i mean is that i think thats partially why he got that level of attached to dora? she didnt go through what he did#she had the money to not go through that she was stable she was a constant in his life that was pure and that wasnt always#going through something. a guide. harry went to her like a moth to a fire with pure devotion bc she was everything he never had#she probably also treated him different than what all his previous friends would have. i imagine her to be very gentle#and harry probably never got to know too much about people being soft so that was also. new. but somethign imposible to him#so i can see how he would love her like that to the point of basically worshipping her as god and how he would still love her#years after it went to shit even when he cant remember anything. it makes sense#i think they were engaged bc the wedding gown but idk if its said in game. but he loved her enough to want to marry her in a world#where real love isnt possible for him but only for new people in a new world he still wanted that with her even if it didnt work out#he holds to whatever he can of her as a lifeline and i. man. dude. yeah no i get him#idk how long they were together but it also doesnt matter bc of how harry is as a person#also of course at first it was all good. she was basically fixing him but he cant get fixed only with love in a world like that!#or with a life like his... it was always going to go down. and i. dude#... i am thinking about this as someone who still loves someone and we werent even dating like#i think if we dated and it went bad like. i think id be in a similar situation to harry tbh. i get him#yeah no yeah lmao i do think of this person also sort of as the only good thing in my life#and i am glad she did reject me when i confessed bc if i had fully lost her i dont know where id be? but also man its been 7 years#of the rejection and basically 10 of falling for her. i get harry so fucking badly on this one USHDGIUHUSG#ok in the end i did say what i had to say but in the tags i dont think ill make a proper post out of it#but i did write it in a way that wasnt articulated for a post so i think i was right making it like this lmao
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i usually dont comment on these kinds of things because they shouldnt be treated with the level of weird parasocial interest they tend to be on social media generally but. claire (lil tay) was so fucking young. it doesnt take knowing her personally to feel just how jarring and genuinely tragic her sudden death is. like shit. she was only 14. she didnt even get to live her own life. sorry if this is pointless and theres no call to action or anything here but. jesus.
#kibumblabs#cw death#havent looked too deep into it because im still conflicted over it feeling voyeuristic and disrespectful to do so or not but#from what i have heard it seems sketchy re: her brother and idk i dont want to accuse anyone of anything without proper basis especially#when that someone also passed away but. considering his history of controlling behavior over her image and how it put her in some#serious danger at worst - situations a child should not be in at best... if he did have any part in this i. well i dont know.#cant exactly say he needs to see justice considering its a bit late for that but. i dont know#depending on the circumstances one of her parents may need to answer to some neglect charges. but anyway it all feels so trivial when its#already too late.#you know what. what i think i can say for sure is that i hope she's properly remembered and honored for who she actually was and not as#'lil tay the worlds youngest flexer'. a persona her brother made up that put her in dangerous situation for the sake of clout. by no means#is the public entitled to anything but if anything more is put out there in memorium i hope its something#letting the world know who she was as a real teenage girl with her own interests and personality and favorite songs and teenage obsessions#she looked like such a sweet girl. i hope her friends and family who actually knew her are haunted as little as possible by her#bastardized image on the internet. i hope they– as well as anyone else really– can separate that character from the innocent young girl#who actually existed and who's life was cut so. so fucking short.#i know i said i didnt want to comment too much about this but idk man. it really got to me. maybe because its such a novel situation thats#never exactly happened before- the way her image was on in the internet and how this case will inevitably be treated on the internet#how young she was and how little say she had in how she'd be portrayed on line– much less now how she'd be REMEMBERED.#its disturbing. and deeply deeply tragic.#2009. she was born in 2009. fuck. thats just. wrong
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