#( out of character ) local himbo speaking !

[d4ngerous-shadowbanned]

Today marks my 1 year on HRT!!! ♥ Made it this far, here's to many more!

[highlordofkrypton]

ACOTAR headcanons // (au) cassian

I feel like I need to put a disclaimer before my favs on here block me for being a cassian!girlie, BUT I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS I SWEAR 😂😂😂 PLS LOVE ME ANYWAY I HAVE THE BRAINWORMS RN BEAR WITH ME

That said, I don't think I have much Cassian content to post aside from this (until Cassian week).

Anyway, this is in regards to my au!cassian, also known as Wildflowers!Cassian (my canon-divergent prequel fic), also ALSO known as Mathian (mathi!cassian -- shout out to @wingsdippedingold for the name I love it, I'm adopting it his full name is Cassian Mathian the first of his name, general of the night court, etc etc.).

The Tamlin x Cassian besties brainworms have taken a hold of me so, I've stopped fighting it.

ABOUT MATHI'S CASSIAN

uses 'bro' way too much.

imagines the mating bond to be something akin (but not as good) as having the perfect gym bro who spots you and supports you when you're trying to hit a PR

mental health adage: pain without gains is a no-no. it means that you should not be suffering pointlessly, and will encourage you to address ur problems so you can have MENTAL GAINS too.

values truth and justice, would fight his own people for doing the wrong thing; case in point, he was horrified at Rhys' misuse of his daemati abilities.

would never sleep with Mor because he knew Azriel liked her -- that's wrong bro. he would try to find a different way out, maybe 1v1 eris in a fallmart parking lot if it came down to it. i also feel like he's the type of character to make sure that someone's first time is really, really special. he would pull out all the stops to make his partner feel comfortable.

his favourite greeting @ tamlin is a headbutt or tackle. there is no reality where they don't end up wrestling, it's very embarassing to rhys and lucien as the local 'himbo' handlers.

i believe the proper characterization for cassian to be the himbo trifecta: kind, handsome and a lil bit dumb.

10/10 would save kittens from trees, also 10/10 would mistake a tasmanian devil for a cat that needs to be saved and gets scratched the hell out of him

vegetarian ally, he actually tried to start going vegan to support tamlin -- at least, when they're together -- but the unanimous consensus was that for the sake of prythian and its inhabitants, no one should suffer those bean/tofu farts (you might think this is a joke, but i will NOT expand on my tofu experience thanks) and he also thinks being vegetarian is beans only so like guys he's TRYING

it's very important to me that cassian is gray romantic or demi-romantic; i like to imagine that he feels very deeply, which is why he hides it with is silliness, and with his upbringing, it's not very easy to open up his world to anyone. idk, cassian sleeping around doesn't particularly speak to me. take this with a grain of salt, i haven't explored this side of him enough to be definitive.

rhys and azriel are his brothers, tamlin is his best friend in the whole world. rhys and tamlin killing each other's parents and the subsequent rift would have broken his heart, he would have sad puppied the rest of the series if I had any say in it.

i think if not for his bargain w/ rhys, he would have absolutely reached out for tamlin for help when Rhys disappeared (spoilers for my sequel mb???)

he is a super senshi at heart -- sailor mars, specifically, is his fav. he sees himself in her OK.

cassian is short, esp for a fae he's like 5'7"-5'10" at best and its great bc we love a short king

plays pranks on Tamlin the most bc Rhys is a smartass, Azriel is a knowitall, Mor and Lucien just don't believe him, he's scared of Amren and Tamlin always listens

i'm anti-bond in general, so i wouldn't mate him with anyone, but if the vibes are there, the vibes are there.

cassian is the first person outside Tamlin's family to help him do his hair

i think people underestimate the comedic value of cassian toting people around under his arms as a legit travel method. oh, someone isn't showing up? send cassian, he will fetch them for u

cassian did impersonate tamlin for a day in his court bc tamlin/cassian had a bet with everyone else that they AREN'T the same person and they are very, very, very different -- nobody noticed the switch, they just thought tamlin was having a very silly day. cassian even chatted up the local wildlife which... is very tamlin. the only things that did notice were the Green (flora magic) that were very 🙄🙄🙄 at cassian

is anti-tithe bc he doesn't know what it means; he suggested everyone donate a part of their earnings so that they can have a very big savings account to pay for things that affect the collectivity of the court, he is also taking NO NOTES on his brilliant idea nONE

tamlin will never say it, but cassian's birthday gifts are his fav (they r usually really ugly matching shirts with something really dumb on them)

I'll probably expand on this list if I have ideas, but I feel like this gives a decent framework to the type of character when ✨I✨ am referring to him. As a person, I do not live in the canon universe, and I have decided to make a personalized blorbo out of Cassian.

This is also the energy I bring my twitter memes 😂

[tetsunabouquet]

KNB X Shadowhunterverse: Headcanon

A/N: I was hit with this thought ages ago, considering KNB and Shadowhunters are the fandoms I am writing long fics for, that I wanted to create some crossover content. I will hereby start with what kind of species and role each KNB character would have if they were part of the Shadowhunterverse!

-Kuroko would be certainly be a vampire. Because vampires don't make any sound when they move and Kuroko has his habit of being so unnoticed even whilst he should be making noises like footsteps, Kuroko being a vampire would be a perfect match up. He wouldn't be a clan leader, but would be the clan leader's advisor and right hand man. -Riko would be a battle instructor at the Shadowhunter Academy once she grows up. Her skills at determining a person's physical abilities would make for a great instructor especially if in this universe she also learnt about different weapons and their respective techniques which I could see Riko do. -Momoi is a battle instructor at an Institute. Considering Momoi has some similar skills to Riko in terms of assesment but her character revolves around her loyalty to others, I think she'd be sticking close to her friends and training their kids. -Aomine is also a Shadowhunter and Momoi's parabatai. You Aomomoi shippers cannot convince me otherwise. They've been best friends almost since their diapers, they are just like Simon and Clary to me. -Akashi is vampire clan leader, there is no doubt about it. Thanks to his human life of having been the richest of nobles that even the King owned his father money, Akashi naturally adapted to being a vampire. He is an ancient one like Camille, but unlike her he doesn't dabble in foolish deals that could get him in trouble with the Shadowhunters and stopped speaking with her long before her death. -Hanamiya is a corrupt Shadowhunter and I see him being in charge of an Institute. Being the head of authority in his region, he can do whatever he wants in the shadows with only his fellow corrupt Shadowhunters knowing what his plans are. Considering he didn't even care if Kiyoshi could get fatally hurt in a basketball game, I think in a worl like the Shadowhunterverse he would have anyone killed that could lead him to riches and treasures. -Kise is the child of a woman from the long lost Herondale bloodline and a Japanese man. Look at him and tell me he wouldn't be related to Jace in this AU. I DARE YOU. -Midorima is a warlock. Perhaps its the green and his crankiness, but he gives me Ragnor vibes sometimes. Plus, needing his Lucky item or else he gets into fatal situations could easily be the result of a curse cast on him by another warlock he couldn't get along with. -Nebuya would be a werewolf. I mean, what other species would the guy who's the Hercules of basketball be? He's by no means the alpha of the pack, he doesn't has enough brains for it but he's well beloved by his pack for being the dark mirror of a himbo. -Speaking of his mirror himbo, Kiyoshi is arguably the biggest himbo of the Clave. Remember the match against Hanamiya and tell me that he's not a Shadowhunter on the side of justice in this AU. He's the one of the best local fighters of his Institute, make no mistake about that! -Kotaro is part of the Wild Hunt. Now here my reasoning out: 1. His nickname is the Lightning Beast and in folklore the Wild Hunt used to ride thunderstorms. 2. Considering he is one of the most athletic KNB characters I think he would be a great fighter in the Shadowhunterverse. 3. he has WILD instincts. 4. Imagine Kotaro with Fey speech, now wouldn't that be an extremely fun character?

[sasquach-scratches]

Ruben LaCroix

He/Him Breton Mid 30's

Citizenship: Daggerfall Covenant

Class: Sorcerer Weapon Skills: Two Handed, Destruction Staff Armor Skills: Heavy, Light Crafting Skills: Jeweler

Former Lion Guard turned vagabond. A braggart and philanderer, he was ultimately discharged for the catastrophic failure of an investigation on the Bloodthorn Cult.

Though he's able to look and act the part of a dashing knight when wooing squires, he often can't measure up against threats greater than wild beasts or local bandits. He keeps moving to avoid having to face such threats and further sully his reputation.

He was eventually taken under Jo'zira's wing to hone his Sorcerer skills. Soon after, he discovered he had a knack for delicate metalwork. Jo'zira and his friends supported him in mastering the trade, if only to keep him out of trouble.

Did you know there's no clear references of ESO's tattoos out there? So I had to draw it all by hand? At least this one's fairly simple

Anyways, speaking of fairly simple, I didn't think i'd get to making profiles for Ruben so soon given how he's less of a character in his own right than he is an...accessory? Unfortunately one thing led to another while I was doing some studies.

This is one of three characters that started life as mere bank mules back when I had many more things to store away (like rare fish you could actually use on another character to gain credit for fishing it up)

Eventually I turned him into a crafting slave and since he had an Actual name (unlike one of those 3) he became a full-fledged if underdeveloped character.

Also I just wanted a himbo character in this game and also to play around with a Stamina Sorc

Also, fun fact! He was actually a recreation of a potential character I had planned for TES VI back when I actually cared. So I guess it's good he found a new home lol

A better look at his armor configuration (5 Heavy Breton 3, 2 Light Breton 4)

Some old art for completion's sake

...

Subject Name: Ruben LaCroix

Shadow-World of Origin: DC-001

Cause of Death: Consumed in a vulgar and macabre underground stage show

Reconstruction was a success! The base for the physical form was sculpted from common clay, and though I had qualms at first it seems to have taken well to what few remains were left of the subject. (Or rather...found! Can Bloodthorn zombies digest their food?)

Though it's unlikely the Azure Plasm will reject the soul at this stage, I want to give it another week of observation. At least to make sure the original bones found don't resume decaying.

Soon I will be able to start work on simulacra with little to no original remains.

[flutterclouds]

I already commented this on ao3, but I just wanted to put my thoughts here as well because I’m really liking where this story is heading. This was such a great first chapter! I hadn’t considered adding Pascal to CJ and Flick’s relationship, but I think it’s such a neat idea since they’re all interested in documenting and learning about different kinds of wildlife. I really love the overall atmosphere of this story. You really captured the vibes of a relaxing summer vacation where anything can happen and people can discover new things about themselves. Speaking of self-discovery, I really like how CJ is characterized here. He’s a young guy with subtle himbo vibes, but he’s still trying to figure himself out, and I think you really communicated that well. He may have completed a large chunk of college, but he’s unsure of what he specifically wants to do with his life. I feel like that ties really well into the main them of self-discovery.

Another part of this chapter I really liked was his relations with his parents and Cherry. It’s clear that his parents love him a lot even if they don’t understand him all the time. I think it’s really wholesome how CJ takes Cherry’s words about LGBTQ identity to heart and tries his best. Even if he messes up occasionally, his heart is in the right place. Speaking of LGBTQ identity, I also thought that CJ’s introduction to Pascal and Flick were really good. They both showed off both characters’ personalities really well, such as how Pascal was pretty chill but friendly throughout meeting CJ, and how Flick was mostly calm and collected, but showed he has a bit of a sense of humor. I feel like you did such a good job showing the beginnings of CJ’s friendship with both characters, and how there’s the spark of potential romance between the characters through their interactions. All in all, I really loved seeing CJ walk around the island and getting to meet some of the locals. I’m really interested to see where CJ’s relationships with Flick and Pascal lead during his vacation. I look forward to the next chapter.

Not at all related to Dreamwalker, but hey hi here’s the links to my one other fic I’m actively writing. Just finished the third chapter after like a year so GJKFDHG

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30377943/chapters/103077804

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14124890/3/Torn-between-land-and-sea

[wishing-well-writing]

Can we have Cookie Run five legendary heroes HCs please?

!GEN ANCIENTS HCs!

Written by: 🦷

Fandom: Cookie Run Series

Character(s): Pure Vanilla Cookie, White Lily Cookie, Hollyberry Cookie, Dark Cacao Cookie, Golden Cheese Cookie

Warnings: N/A

A/N: MOD 🦷 (ME) IS STUPID AND POSTED THIS EARLY PLEASE FORGIVE THIS FUCKIN IDIOT I'M SORRY AJXHAJDJ

let’s get crackalackin boyes

gonna start off with pronouns and sexualities because why not!

pure vanilla: he/they, i can see him as panromantic/pansexual, they have a lot of love (platonic AND romantic) for everyone, mostly white lily though :)

white lily: she/they/it, demiromantic/demisexual most likely... i can definitely see her as being aro/ace who is still interested/drawn towards the idea of a romantic relationship

golden cheese: she/they, butch lesbian vibes and unlike hollyberry the actual herbo of the group while hollyberry is himbo aligned (there’s a difference <3)

hollyberry: she/her, raging bisexual that’s himbo aligned, also very much full of love

dark cacao: he/him, demiromantic/demisexual with a preference for women

both golden cheese and hollyberry are pretty much somewhere on the butch scale tbh, hollyberry being like soft butch and golden cheese is Somewhere but she’s definitely there

also like golden cheese lies in the scale of “you’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?”

where everyone else falls is up to interpretation because they’re all stupid in their own ways

okay now to other headcanons, this is going to be a mess of things LMAO

they all definitely have lights (i.e. pure vanilla and the light of truth, hollyberry with the light of passion, etc etc) we just don’t know the others (yet)

holly has an amicable relationship with her light, cheese and cacao probably fall under the more business esque, and vanilla and lily srtraight up never tell their lights anything

post-light of truth vanilla doesn’t have a heart so to speak, just some ball of light that acts as a heart

they technically died in the prologue but they’re fine, they have the light of truth keeping em alive

and by that extent he’s somewhere along the veins of immortal, as compensation (not really) he gets cool glowing veins/cracks on his skin

also golden cheese is a whole bird lady send tweet

when princess and tiger lily were born the other ancients also gave little blessings to them (sleeping beauty style)

since hollyberry blessed them to always be together or somewhere along that vein

dark cacao blessed them to grow up strong (princess and tiger lily being absolute butch queens runs in the family but the sentiment was there LMAO)

pure vanilla and white lily are kinda fuckin' dead so they're irrelevant to this conversation WBZKBSXKJD

golden cheese's blessing was for them to be more prosperous

since we're going under the assumption that her kingdom is rather wealthy...

maybe in terms of trade... but that falls more under hollyberry kingdom considering all their boats and such

also just "Hey check out this cool shit I have!"

golden cheese kingdom 🤝 hollyberry kingdom "trading!!!"

gotta get them shineys for princess somehow

assuming that dark choco was born around the same time as princess and tiger lily, or maybe even a few years BEFORE them, they oughta know each other in the vaguest fashion

but that's a later thing (maybe)

dark cacao definitely wanted to show his friends his son

pride and joy so ya know, come meet the future heir (lol not)

the eventual fall of the dark cacao kingdom was devastating to say the least, alongside the fall of the other kingdoms (well, pure vanilla's that is, hollyberry kingdom is doing just fine and we don't know jackshit about golden cheese BEJZBDJFJD)

and to learn that it was dark cacao's own son rubbed more salt into that wound

anyways

white lily local hermit since she doesn't have a fuckin' kingdom

good for it tbh, good for it

she does well on her own anyways, and was mostly by pure vanilla's side, observing and helping and whatnot

she learned a lot from pure vanilla, they learned from each other! besties sharing ideas because they're both geniuses but also dumb shits

white lily also sorta just lived in the forest

had her own little hut, it's still there if you look around

however it is overgrown, covered in leaves, vines, and well... white lilies :]

there's also hints of the other ancients there

notably a photograph/painting of all of them, it's covered in dust and mildly yellowed

a few frames are shattered due to the newly formed dark enchantress destressing in that hut before abandoning it all together

but it seems like she couldn't destroy them outright...

they're hidden somewhere in there, under all those leaves and vines

[8-0-8]

Welcome to…Comparing Two Pieces of Media I Like And Seeing What They Have In Common Because I Want To

Let’s welcome our special guests…two major obsessions who got me through the pandemic and my senior year and still haunt my mind on a daily basis…Mystic Messenger and The Disastrous Life of Saiki K!

Let’s start shall we?

CW: slight mentions of incest, racism, and light spoilers

Breaks the fourth wall excessively

Its comedic elements are an important part of its identity as a piece of work

Pop culture references galore

While both are popular internationally and do make an effort to reach global audiences thru translations/dubs, their primary audience is still the country the piece is set in. No cultural norms that global audiences wouldn’t understand is explained bc youre just expected the get it. (To the point where so many non Korean mysme stans melt whenever the characters ask if they’ve eaten which is hilarious tbh) Foreigners are welcome, but they’re just not the main target audience

Speaking of which, there seems to be a large gap between local fans vs international ones? Like we barely interact

Both made in the mid 2010s

Cursed memes

International audiences primarily consist of queer Gen Z ppl…this is more of a thing w Saiki than mysme but both have it

Literally every character is queer coded, some are even canon

And then some are canon but not but are but not—

INFP w chunibyo tendencies has a very overbearing mother

INFP w emo tendencies is a fan fav…wonder why

Cults centered around fem long haired ENFJs

Evil Relative Alert…like multiple 😈

Listen to me. Saiki is jaehee. Jaehee is Saiki. I don’t make the rules

Like…super problematic but super progressive at the same time

Color/character themes! (The way I took this trope and ran w it in my own work istg)

Coffee

Both aim to poke fun at and address media tropes and parody/look deeper into them to a certain extent (this also heavily inspired me)

Pet robots as a sign of affection

“Being (Insert generally desired trait or job) seems great but it’s actually really shitty”

Aspec characters that don’t know what asexuality is

Hopeless lesbians

Chaotic bi/pan ppl

Lots of different lgbt headcanons within the fandom

Athletic Himbos

Lonely rich assholes who are kinda socially inept

“Hey guys did you know…I have a brother!”

Thirst traps but tbh that’s super universal

Disappointing racial stereotypes that add nothing to the plot (also sadly universal)

Reformed Ex Con guy hates Rich Guy bc of a hatred towards the elite and Strong Moral Principles (zen has the whole brother thing too but shhh)

No but fr kubokai = zensung and kuboyasu/saiko = zen/jumin idc idc

Evil Genius Brother Out To Get Other Genius Brother

Both reference death note lol

Lovesick Brunette With Bangs built to relate to the EveryGirl (saiki parodies this, mysme plays this straight)

Embraces tropes of their own genre but also puts a spin on them

Light Blue character is delicate and Artsy

Touches on the Bro/Sis con trope and ends up weirding both audiences and other characters out (mysme subdues this a lot more than saiki)

VAs are usually waaaay older than the characters but not always

VAs sing a lot of the OST songs w lyrics

The Hot, Confident Flirt Who Speaks Informally is actually one of the most sane characters

“You have the opportunity to enjoy something in life that I can’t so let me do some weird antics to ultimately help you”

Both have a special place in my heart and helped me both creatively and emotionally <3

Milfs

[vergess]

speaking of anime have you indulged in anything new youve enjoyed while away

I tried out that Hunter x Hunter thing, it's p cute. I like the White Hair Anime Boy(tm) that is Killua. Alas, shonen and shotacon both simply don't do it for me, so it's more of a "I watch my girlfriend watch it" deal.

Damn tho, Hisoka X do X be X sneaky.

I took up My Hero Academia for a while as well, with similar results.

There's a K-ani I enjoyed! Flowering Heart . It's a magical girl show, very cutesy, very aimed at children under 8, and the most potent loli energies I've seen in decades.

The Eva 3+1 film came out like a month ago and it's so good. I felt more emotions watching 3+1 than I felt in an entire decade of MCU.

I recommend it A TON if you either enjoy Evangelion already, or you enjoy highly abstracted apologies for the failures of preceding generations including the way Millennials and below are blamed for the problems they caused even though none of us have the power to fix them, and the resulting total collapse of multiple systems both political and environmental going on around us globally.

Which, uh. Is a big ask for an anime movie! So well done on that!!!

"Bofuri: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense." is an insane fucking length of title, but honestly, appropriate to the insane fucking comedy of the show. I binged it in two days, and I recommend it heartily if you've ever enjoyed playing an MMO or D&D in that way. You know, the rules fuckery way.

The Shaman King remake rocked my world. Those of you who don't studiously keep a working record of my entire life in your brains may not be aware, but Mankin is the third fandom I ever wrote fanfiction for, and is the first one I ever finished a fic for. Well "a". Many. Shaman King is the reason I am here to day, sitting before you on this blue hell, making this rec list!

The remake? Stellar, magnificent, healed the scars left in me by the 4Kids translation that I didn't even know I had ("HOW, ZEKE???? H O W!!!!!")

My life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! is another long title that matches well the chipper spirit of the show. Have you ever thought to yourself, "wow, I love himbos so much, I just wish bimbos were allowed to have as positive a relationship with the other characters around them!" then this, my friend? This is the show for you.

The protagonist is the sweetest, happiest, and most fundamentally good person ever to be too stupid to fucking function, and everyone around her is utterly and completely in love with her. The men, the women, even the siscon wants to have a triad with her and his sister (who also wants to have the same triad)!

And, last but not least, I mean.

Listen.

You know I watched Interspecies Review. We all know I watched Interspecies Review.

It's a barely not pornographic 12 episode jaunt into the lives of some folks who write up reviews of local brothels in a fantasy setting full of all your favourite (and lesser known) fantasy beings. The sheer amount of fetishes served is mind boggling.

Also one of the characters is a hermaphrodite, which, as one myself, I am always here to see that. Crim the angel has RIGHTS by god!!!!

How would I not have watched it and fallen in love instantly?

[joeyhazell-art]

🍓 Tell me about the whole hbf crew.

Oh man there's so much I could say! I'll just stick with 1 fact per character, (of the 6 I've actually posted art of here 👀)

Aaron was a gymnast in his teens and was all set to get a scholarship to college off of it, until he decided he wanted a different career path than his parents had planned. He's also since gone no-contact with his family for reasons that may or may not be related.

Benji had selective mutism as a child, and while he recieved treatment for it, he still prefers to speak in sign language when he can. Aaron started learning it when they met and they often speak with a mix of asl together.

Dana aka "Zoomer" is a gym rat himbo, and the first time she walked into her local gym she sought out the biggest, strongest looking guy to train/spar with. Her powers are amplified by her physical ability, so she figured Benji would make a good partner since she thought he had a similar build to this one henchguy she fights regularly.

Chandra aka PlasmaGal is the youngest of 2, and she only just started getting along with her elder sister recently, after a childhood of intense sibling rivalry. Her sister stood by Chandra's side when arguing with their parents about college and they've been tentatively trying to maintain a good relationship since then.

Dr. Apocalypse immigrated to North America from Poland in the 80s and his disillusionment with the American dream played a part in his turn to supervillainy. He made a lot of his costume himself in these early days and personally designed the modern looks for himself and his hench-employees.

Apollo's powers are sun based, so supposedly the more skin exposed the more powerful he is. Whether or not that's true is unknown as people haven't noticed a big difference from his various costume changes. When asked directly Apollo avoids the question and jokes "I don't know, but my husband doesn't complain!"

[thenonbinarydetective]

The Flying Saucer Mystery

Hey do you like camping? Do you like aliens? Do you like treasure hunts? If you said yes to all three than this might be the game for you! @nancydrewnetwork

Inspired by The Flying Saucer Mystery(duh)

Mystery

Nancy and her friend’s all-expenses paid(by Carson Drew) camping trip is quickly derailed by rumors of strange encounters and long-lost treasure hidden deep in the Shawnee National Forest. Hopefully Nancy can solve the case before she gets abducted (and maybe she can have a fun vacation for once).

Friends

Ned Nickerson: Nancy’s boyfriend. Chemical Engineering major and star athlete at Emerson. This time he gets to help in person. His experience as a camp counselor and first aid will come in handy.

Bess Marvin: Longtime best friend and always reliable. She’s good at keeping the campers happy in tough times and knows more cutesy camp recipes than Pinterest. Actually, she might’ve stolen them all from Pinterest.

George Fayne: Other longtime best friend and outdoors enthusiast. She’s a useful friend to have both on the trail and for when your gadgets fail on you and you don’t know why. 

Burt Eddleton: Best friend of Ned. Biology major at Emerson who seemingly can’t choose what to focus on exactly. He knows a lot about both wildlife and plants. Pretty good athlete and pretty chill dude. Kind of a Himbo. Proud duck Dad (Don’t worry Sparkles is with a chickensitter).

Dave Evans: Other best friend of Ned. Archaeology major at Emerson. He knows a lot about artifacts or at least he’s mostly talking about artifacts because Bess gets freaked out by the skeletal side of his interests. Pretty chill guy also might play Wonderwall if presented with a guitar.

Suspects

Blake Wilkinson: Co-owner and head guide of Happy Trails Camping Company. She’s the trail guide helping the group get through this vacation. She seems nice enough but she is way too serious about her job. Well maybe not too serious. How else can you explain the buyout offer she’s hiding from Amani? What else could she be hiding?

Amani Wilkinson: Blake’s wife and other co-owner of Happy Trails Camping Company. She prefers nature over business. In fact, she doesn’t seem at all interested in the company (Does Blake know?). She’s happy enough to show you around the forest. Hopefully she doesn’t leave you all alone out there. Just kidding, she would never do that. Right?

Shay Hernandez: Assistant trail guide and aspiring park ranger. Or so he says. He claims to be a college student at a local university, but won’t say what his major is. That’s okay, maybe he’s still deciding. However, he talks a lot about science. Not just biology or even ecology like you might expect from someone who spends most of his time in the outdoors. He talks about computer science and robotics too. Is it just the sign of a budding scientific mind? Or is it a sign of something else?

Sonny Joon: Nancy knows Sonny’s here for the aliens, but does she really know him enough to say that’s the only reason why he’s there? Or is she in for another.....adventure with him? I’m sorry Sonny fans but it fits.

Soffi Ziririan: The only one of the campers (besides Sonny) that doesn’t know that much about the area. Again or so she says. She’s an avid hiker and outdoor enthusiast. She loves challenging herself with new challenges. Strangely, she didn’t give that much information to Blake or Amani when she signed up for the trip. She might just be a private person because that happens all the time... 

Kole Morse: He’s a local, so it’s strange for him to be going on a guided trail experience. He knows the forest like the back of his hand, so why is he here? He claims it’s just for fun, but no one knows for sure. One thing that is for sure is that Kole is a true environmentalists. He doesn’t believe in the aliens, he thinks all the sightings are fake and going to negatively affect the environment. He not too keen on “people who don’t truly understand the forest” being in the forest. Whatever that means. How far is he willing to go to protect what he refers to as ‘his forest’?

Joseph “Old Joe” Austin: Native American man from the local Shawnee tribe, One of the oldest residents from around Shawnee National Forest. He lives in a cabin with his brother Sam and his dog Trixie. He’s also a shoe-in for the friendliest resident of the forest award. He’s welcoming and kind to all the campers that come through. He says he’s given up on finding his father’s treasure. Or has he?

Samuel “Sam” Austin: Old Joe’s younger brother. Unlike his brother, he’s quiet and likes to keep to himself. Old Joe just says he’s shy. Really, Nancy figures out that he’s deaf. Luckily she remembers a bit of sign language and that online dictionary the Hardy Boys text is a great bonus. He’s actually trying to find his dad’s treasure again. Although he seems innocent enough, Nancy doesn’t know how far he’ll go to get his dad’s treasure.

Phone Friends

Frank and Joe Hardy: They were supposed to go on the trip with the group, but Frank broke his leg during their last mystery so Burt and Dave took their spots. They are super bummed. Luckily Nancy can call them so they can live vicariously through her.

Dagny Silva: There’s treasure, here’s Dagny. Not actually there because she has better more certain treasure to track down, but she owes it to Nancy to occasionally answer her phone.

Ranger Maia Chikovani: A ranger of the national forest, asked Nancy to figure out what’s going on. She believes in aliens, but is a bit more worried about the impact their UFO may have on the environment.

Locations

Forest Trails and Clearing: There pretty straightforward. Trees and plants and stuff. There’s quite a few different locations, but can all be summed up by this title. Nancy has a map to keep track.

River appears next to some of the trail but not all of them.

Old Joe’s Cabin: It’s where he lives with his brother and dog.

Swamp: Where the UFO has been spotted. Coincidentally, the treasure is rumored to be near this location

Treasure’s real location: It’s not actually near the swamp. This location is only revealed after Nancy figures it out.

Time

Day/Night cycle. Time keeps on moving so your week may be more than a week depending on how long it takes for you to solve it.

Transportation

Horseback riding: For longer distances along the trails

Walking: For shorter distances and areas that the horses cannot go. Also for like around the camp and stuff. Nancy’s not riding the horse for a week straight that would just be weird.

Puzzles/Mini Games

Pitching a tent

Fishing

Building a fire

Cooking camp meals

Roasting marshmallows and making the perfect s’more

Mushroom picking: I’m enby I can’t not include mushrooms.

Decoding/Solving the clues Old Joe and Sam’s father left for them: This is a series of different puzzles, all at different times and with different purposes. They all fall under the same category so they’re being lumped. I imagine they would be a mixture of logic and clues that you find about the two brothers and around the forest itself.

Opening the treasure box: Simply one of those weirdly over-complicated puzzle boxes that everyone seems to have. You know the type.

Fixing the radio: The radio gets trashed with the rest of the camp and it’s up to Nancy to fix it

Lockpicking other campers’ locked private possesion: The usual

Flying the Spaceship: After Nancy and Ned get trapped in the spaceship, Nancy needs to figure out how to fly it before they crash!

Alien Dream World: Nancy and Ned are transported to an alien world by the spaceship. It’s so amazing it’s like a dream.

Finding Arrowheads: there’s a few old arrowheads scattered around. They’re old and don’t belong to anyone (at least not anymore). Mostly collected for fun.

Second Chances

Riding your horse into the swamp: Why?

Drown in the swamp: At least the water’s warm....it’s not worth it

Radio explodes: You shouldn’t have connected those wires

Crash the spaceship: Should’ve used the turn signal

Bear attack: like the alien attack but with bears

Alien attack: like the bear attack but with aliens

Setting yourself on fire: Stop, drop, and roll!

Ate the wrong mushroom: you clearly picked a toadstool, not a mushroom. (It’s a joke don’t get technical lol)

Additional Features/Notes

This is only loosely based off Shawnee National Forest. I cannot guarantee the presence of small swamps or aliens. Also the pictures and everything might not be perfectly accurate. It’s just aesthetic, it doesn’t have to take place in Shawnee. I just needed a name. It can change.

Communication is different with Sam than with the other characters due to the fact that he is deaf. He uses sign language (that is automatically translated). Nancy’s speech is silent for his conversations, she’s using sign language too but you can’t see her hands (because you’re not really supposed to talk when you’re using sign language. Also Sam only “speaks” to people who can also use sign language.

Speaking of communication, I know we all like our phone friends, but cell signal is unreliable on this trip. Nancy won’t always be able to get in touch with her contacts so she’ll have to rely on her in-person friends. This time they can be assigned to certain tasks as well as provide hints. Everyone has their own specialized hints that the other characters won’t know a thing about.

Just for the sake of clarification, most people in the area do know about the treasure left by Mr.Austin. Most people don’t believe in it anymore, some believe that it belongs to the brothers (if it does exist), and other think it’s finder’s keepers.

P.S. Sorry for breaking Frank’s leg but Joe gets hurt the twice as much as he does so it’s only fair that he sometimes it’s his fault that they can’t go camping. tbh with their mysteries they camp like once a week, they have nothing to complain about.

(Forest UFO Mini Art Print by vectordreams)

[d4ngerous-shadowbanned]

before I go nap I just want to put it out there that today dad gave me one of his rings and said "because you're going to be a boy, you can have this" and idk there's something about that which really??? hit home hard and meant the world to me. it's being accepted and being treated like a son. it meant.. a whole lot to me.

[sxmonsays]

[ CHWE VERNON, HE/HIM/HIS, CISMALE ]  —  [ SIMON HONG ]  is a child of  [ HADES ]  with the power of  [ SHADOW TRAVEL ] .  they were born in  [ 1998 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2010 ] .  with the change, they  [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ]  the  [ AMBASSADOR ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ ACTING AND MAINTAINING A SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE ]

well well well! it’s everyone’s favorite himbo aka simon hong and everyone’s favorite himbo mun aka me, kashia. pls enjoy fambam

name: simon hong

age: 22

pronouns: he/him/his

birthday: october 31st

track/job: ambassador & actor

sexuality: bisexual

ethnicity: half korean, half white

bio

the son of hades and a young korean woman who met the god randomly. she was a grad student when the god of the underworld met her inside of an old coffee shop. a conversation was sparked between them, a game of wits, lots of poking and probing at each other’s brains. if only his mother was aware that she was speaking with a god who knew more than her. a game of wit that lasted for a mere month before it turned into something more sexual. no love was involved, it was all just fun until the two learned that she was pregnant. truths were revealed, concern filled her eyes, hades apologized just before disappearing forever. nine months later, simon hong was born.

a child filled with nothing but goofy smiles and mischief. a plotting mind filled with pranks and lies ready if someone was to catch him. able to fool the masses except for his mother who would drag him by the ear in disappointment. a witty child who always wanted to play games, a trait that his mother remembered of his father. a man who simon learned about when he was ten, an appropriate age to tell him the truth and where he wouldn’t go around telling everyone about it. with her own eyes that were filled with nothing but honesty and worry, the young boy believed her with no hesitation. lies between family was not allowed in their household, a rule that was only for the two of them before a third individual entered their lives.

another woman, with beautiful pencil straight hair and light brown skin that wooed both him and his mother. the two older woman talked, went on dates, started going out before marrying each other just a week before simon’s birthday. a household with two moms, two women who loved him with their entire being and who he loved in return. of course, no secrets were kept between family as it was shared with his step-mother of his parenting. the woman didn’t believe them, thinking that they were toying with her before simon showed her.

it was when he was ten, few days before his mother revealed the truth, that he realized his ability. running away from a group of bullies and stepping into an ally with a dead end, he thought that it was over. he hid himself in a dark corner, hoping that they wouldn’t see him. to get away and to somewhere safe. he closed his eyes, as footsteps neared him, hoping that the boys wouldn’t find him. until it went silent, the sounds of cars was no more, just the sounds of his mother on the phone. he was back in his dark room, very much afraid and confused. he told his mother about the incident days later.

they lived happily together until his twelfth birthday. a monster appeared, planning on hurting simon when he was home alone. it was only because of a pair of demigods from NL that rescued him, taking him off to find his moms. to say goodbye of course as it wouldn’t be safe for him to stay with the pair. such a sad day for the hong family as simon was taken to NL, a safe haven that would train him. he learned how to fight against monsters, to have a better handle of his power, and more about his godly father.

NL talked about hades in a different way than what his mother used to say. the god of the underworld, one of the big threes, a literal king in his realm was supposed to be the same man who wooed his mother by talking about the human brain and other psychology shit that i can’t think of to fit the aesthetic of this bio uwu. honestly, it never changed how he thought about his dad, hades sounds like a cool dude which makes sense. a cool mom and a cool day, of course they would have the coolest son.

after graduating from NL, simon realized that being a hero wasn’t his thing. he wasn’t going to put himself out there to save everyone unless he needed to. no, he saw the arts as his way of being, specifically acting. it was with the tattoo that gave him a chance to act and not have monsters try to murder him. of course, it was all local theatre stuff and small classes, just to keep himself on the down low. but when NL revealed the whole demigod thing and forced them to come back? simon thought it was over for his acting career.

until he chose the ambassador track and baby realized that it wasn’t that bad after all. yeah, there’s the classes he gotta take (yuck) but being seen on TV? the interviews, people seeing his face, being famous? oh yeah, homie is ready and not at all complaining.

shadow travel

when he was younger, he couldn’t control this power aka he couldn’t control where he would end up. it took him some time at NL to get a hang of it. as long as a place that he has been to has some sort of dark space in it, he’ll be able to transport himself there. the further the distances, the longer it takes for him to travel. has recently learned how to do little portals in the same area where he can stick his arm or foot out to trip or hit someone. ONLY can be done in the same area.

because his power isn’t as physical as others, he focuses more on his quick wit and any small weapon that can be used for a sneak attack. he’s a boy that focuses more on getting out alive than going for a kill. he can leave that to the real heroes. HOWEVER, if he has to then he’ll put forth more effort into helping out.

wanted connections

best friend: give me someone who just knows simon and even as an ambassador, the main person who he talks to. obviously his go to person whenever he needs someone to rant to or to unload his problems on. ofc, this person can do the same to him uwu

TRIO TRIO TRIO: i’m a slut for trios, give me three best friends who are always there for each other. pls i want a sutton/kat/jane type of friendship uwu

ambassador buddies: for those amazing ambassadors out there, give me people who he hangs out with during their communication classes or stars in shows together

his debby downer uwu: someone who gets on him for constantly playing tricks, trying to con people, or being on his phone a lot. please just give me someone who nags him a lot thx

someone who just doesn’t like him: pls i love characters who have beef with each other, it’s my coping mechanism AGIAJGAI,

uwu 1, uwu 2, uwu 3, uwu 4, uwu 5 , uwu 6, uwu 7, uwu 8, uwu 9

[medicifm]

*  not  me  actually  writing  an  intro  the  night  before  like  i  always  mean  to  😳  hennyway  hey  biddies  ,  i'm  chloe  ,  im  in  the  snowy  part  of  pst  ,  &  i  use  she / her  pns  .  i’ve  been  . . . . . . .  scouring  the  tags  for  an  rp  like  this  so  im  so  excited  to  bring  this  newish  muse  of  mine  here  !   im  here to  do  the  honours  of  introducing  my  himbo - on - the outside , manipulative - shit - on - the - inside  . . .  oscar  🤡

(  twenty  three , cis  man , he / him  ) ✉ ― hey  babes , have  you  met  OSCAR  MEDICI ?  they’re  working  here  as  THE  HEAD  CHEF  AT  LORENZO’S ,  a  few  villas  down  from  where  you’re  staying  .  you  might  hear  them  singing  ALRIGHTY  APHRODITE  BY  PEACH  PIT  playing  from  their  villa  ,  it’s  their  favourite  song  .  yes  ,  they  hear  that  they  look  like  JACK  GILINSKY  a  lot  ,  actually  -  it’s  really  uncanny  .  their  friends  back  home  in  SYDNEY , AUSTRALIA  say  that  if  they  were  on  a  tv  show  ,  their  trope  would  be  THE  WOLF  IN  SHEEP’S  CLOTHING  ,  how  funny  is  that  ? ✎ chloe , 22 , she/her , pst

𝐢  .

pinterest  |  wanted  plots  |  

𝐢𝐢  .

name  :  oscar  gabriel  medici

age  :  twenty  three

dob  /  sign  :  december  4th  ,  1997  /  sagittarius  sun  ,  leo  moon  ,  libra  rising 

pob  :  sydney , australia

gender / pronouns  :  cis  man  &  he / him / his

career :  head  chef  at  lorenzo’s  ,  full - time  heathen  ,  professional  disappointment  for  mothers  everywhere  .

drinking / drugs / smoking :  yes / more  often  than  he’d  admit / never .  

religion  :  jewish  background  ,  currently  non - practicing .

physical  :  jack  gilinsky  fc ,  dark  brown / black  longish  curls  (  reference  )  ,  dark  brown  eyes  ,  canon  jack  g’s  tattoos  ,  no  piercings  ,  6′2″  ,  175  lbs  ,  lean  but  strong  .  tattoos  a  la  canon!jack  ,  pearly  white  smile  that  he  may  . . .  or  may  not  . . .   use  crest  3D  white  strips  weekly  to  maintain  .  lots  of  burns  &  scars  from  kitchen  mishaps  on  his  hands  &  arms  .

traits  :  hard - working  ,  flighty  ,  intelligent  ,  hedonistic  ,  charismatic  ,  intense  ,  volatile  ,  

other  :  speaks  weird  french  (  aussie  accent  tings  )  ,  tans  easily  but  wears  sunscreen  nonetheless  ,  works  hard  parties  harder  ,  can’t  read  a  lick  of  french  but  spends  a  lot  of  his  free  time  with  a  coffee  &  a  new  paperback  ,  has  a  bit  of  an  internal  vendetta  against  rich  people  (  for  no  real  reason  ,  he  just  doesn’t  like  most  of  them  )  ,  has  ins  with  a  bunch  the  local  farmers  &  visits  them  weekly  ,  pretends  he  isn’t  lowkey  addicted  to  nicotine  administered  via  a  puff  bar  ,  liquor  of  preference  is  tequila  or  red  wine  ,  drives  a  lil  vespa  around  town  for  the  gag  of  it  (  loves  seeing  it  haphazardly  parked  amongst  a  bunch  of  luxury  cars  )  ,  

character  inspo  :  jess  mariano  (  gilmore  girls  )  , gordon  ramsey  🤡 ,  patrick verona ( 10 things i hate about you ) , ferris bueller ( ferris bueller’s day off ) , han solo ( star wars ) .

𝐢𝐢𝐢  .

oscar’s  arrival  was  as  unwanted  to  his  parents  as  could  be  :  a  father  whose  tendencies  leaned  towards  alcoholism  &  abusing  whoever  was  in  arms  reach  ,  a  mother  whose  life  was  more  or  less  spent  at  the  nursing  home  she  worked  as  a  nurse  at  ,  evading  home  .  he  became  a  self - inflicted  loner  ,  preferring  to  do  literally  the  exact  opposite  of  what  was  expected  or  wanted  from  him  .  he  had  a  few  friends  he  ran  with  ,  but  watching  them  all  go  off  &  study  or  prepare  for  university  solidified  in  oscar’s  mind  that  the  non - traditional  route  was  for  him  .  growing  up  by  the  water  ,  oscar  always  felt  more  drawn  to  skip  school  &  head  to  the  beach  than  he  did  obeying  his  parents  wishes  .   

one  of  his  solaces  was  his  grandfather  ,  gabriel  ,  who  owned  an  italian  restaurant  in  a  beach  town  north  of  sydney  .  whenever  the  weather  was bad  &  oscar  felt  like  ditching  class  ,  he’d  head  over  to  his  nono’s  restaurant  where  his  ass  would  be  put  to  work  as  soon  as  he  set  eyes  on  the  restaurant  .  it  was  tough  work  ,  but  challenging  in  a  way  that  fanned  the  flames  in  oscar’s  heart  ,  rather  than  dimming  them  .  by  the  time  he was  a  teenager  he  was  working  in  the  restaurant  everyday  after  school  , an  agreement  between  him  &  his  grandfather  framed  on  the  back  wall  that  stated  that  as  long  as  oscar  kept  from  flunking  out  ,  he  was  allowed  to  spend  as  little  or  as  much  time  in  the  kitchen  as  he  pleased .  

his  absolute  defiance  of  anything  traditional  &  following  the  rules  made  him  unpopular  with  adults  ,  but  lowkey  cool  with  the  girls  .  by  the  time  he  was  sixteen  ,  he  was  losing  his  focus  on  the  restaurant  &  his  grades  &  spending  more  &  more  time  chasing  after  girls  .  his  nono  tried  to  get oscar  to  come  back  &  focus  ,  but  as  always  ,  anything  he’s  asked  to  do  quickly  becomes  the  thing  he’s  running  from  the  most  .

tw  :  death  ,  cancer  .  around  his  eighteenth  birthday  ,  his  grandfather  suddenly  fell  ill  with  a  rare  form  of  cancer  that  took  his  life  six  weeks  after  diagnosis  ,  which  rocked  oscar’s  world  .  he  felt  overwhelming  guilt  that  he  hadn’t  spent  more  time  with  his  grandfather  ,  which  manifested  itself  as  oscar  dropping  out  of  school  a  year  shy  of  graduation  to  commit  himself  fully  to  perfecting  his  grandfather’s  techniques  ,  learning  all  of  his  recipes  (  read  :  pouring  over  dozens  of  handwritten  cookbooks )  in  some  failed  attempt  to  get  back  some  time  with  him  .  oscar  hadn’t  been  close  with  his  parents  in  years  ,  more  or  less  seeing  them  as  wardens  of  a  prison  he  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  .  his  grandfather’s  will  left  him  the  deed  to  the  restaurant  ,  with  an  ask  that  oscar  would  promise  to  act  on  whatever  he  felt  called  towards  ,  rather  than  doing  what  others  expected  of  him  .  to  be  candid  ,  this  whole  situation  crushed  him  .

eventually  ,  he  decided  he’d  had  enough  of  the  stifling  community  he’d  grown  up  in  .  he  sold  the  restaurant  to  one  of  the  regulars  ,  a  wealthy  man  who  he’d  come  to  acknowledge  as  somewhat  of  an  uncle  ;  a  safe  pair  of  hands  who  would  treat  his grandfather’s  legacy  with  as  much  passion  &  respect  as  oscar  himself  would  .  so  he  packed  a  bag  ,  texted  his  mom  that  he  was  going  traveling  ,  &  got  on  a  flight  that  evening  .  he  traveled  all  around  -  first  through  central  america  ,  then  through  europe  ,  throughout  asia  &  africa  ,  &  spent  a  few  months  driving  a  van  across  the  continental  united  states  &  canada  for  fun  . 

eventually  ,  he  started  getting  low - ish  on  money  ,  &  decided  to  settle  in  one  of  his  favourite  places  he’d  visited  :  southern  france  .  he  arrived  in  early  2018  ,  taking  on  whatever  menial  tasks  he  could  while  learning  french  until  he  got  a  position  as  a  line  cook  in  an  italian  restaurant  .  a  few  years  later  ,  he’s  made  his  way  up  to  filling  the  head  chef  position  ,  an  honour  he  takes  with  pride  .  he’s  implemented  many  of  his  own  recipes  while  using  flavours  he’s  learned  from  his  travels  ,  with  ingredients  straight  from  local  farmers  .  he’s  earned  the  restaurant  a  two michelin  star  rating  ,  &  is  constantly  striving  for  more  to  get  that  last  star  (  both  for  his  own  ego  as  well  as  a  secret  debt  to  his  grandfather  )  .

𝐢𝐯  .

ok  but  that  vid  where  gordon  puts  two  pieces  of  bread  on  someone’s  head  &  calls  them  an  idiot  sandwich  ?  that’s  oscar  .  intense  as  fuck  in  the  kitchen  ,  &  best  nobody  catch  an  attitude  about  it  bc  he  will  not  hesitate  to  hand  them  their  ass  on  a  silver  platter  .

another  gordon  reference  :  you  know  how  he’s  the  spawn  of  satan with  adults  ,  but  the  sweetest  ,  most  helpul  guy  with  children  ?  that’s  oscar  with  his  staff  vs  people  he  wants  something  from  .  whether  its  to  sleep  with  them  (  usually  his  first  instinct  to  be  fair  )  ,  their  money  or  clout  ,  or  to  get  into  some  wild  adventure  some  random  resort  staff  wouldn’t  dream  of  getting  into  ,  he  can  turn  on  the  charm  whenever  needed  .

can  go  from  absolutely  demoralizing  someone  in  the  kitchen  to  stepping  out  into  the  lounge  to  schmooze  with  his  friends  or  cougars  who  leave  phat  tips  in  0.2  seconds  .  the  speed  at  which  his  mood  can  completely  180  is  one  of  the  seven  world  wonders  (  last  i  checked  )  .

his  love  language  is  absolutely  acts  of  service  .  catch  him  actually  falling  in  love  once  in  a  blue  moon  &  making  it  his  mission  to  cook  her  extravagant  meals  everyday  .  

the  wolf  in  sheep’s  clothing  label  epitomizes  his  nice  ,  helpful  ,  charismatic  exterior  ,  while  ulterior  motives  &  disdain  for  those  who  grew  up  with  more  money  than  he  did  lurk  beneath  the  surface  . 

he  can  be  MEAN  when  someone  fucks  him  over  or  pushes  him  farther  than  he  wants  -  isn’t  afraid  to  go  for  the  low  blows  or  send  someone  home  with  an  identity  crisis  if  it  protects  himself  .

lowkey  alcoholic  but  he’s  not  ready  for  that  conversation  yet  .  he  sees  it  more  as  perks  of  the  location  &  atmosphere  he’s  found  himself  in  .

also  lowkey  falls  in  love  HARD  ,  like  this  man  is  a  closeted  romantic  but  self - sabotages  all  potential  relationships  before  they  can  get  to  that  point  out  of  fear  he’ll  be  unable  to  live  life  of  his  own  volition  (  takes  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  to  know  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  🤡  )  .  has  probably  only  had  a  few  real  relationships  besides  flings  bc  he’s  afraid  .

𝐯  .

check  out  my  wanted  plots  tag  listed  here  ,  as  well  as  my  pinterest  wanted  plots  board  here  .  here   are  some  other  suggestions  hehe  :

best  friend  /  ride  or  die  :  someone  who  knows  about  his  past  ,  keeps  him  grounded  when  he’s  lk  spiraling  &  wants  to  drop  everything  &  flee  to  some  far  flung  corner  of  the  earth  .

actual  relationship  :  it  was  fast - burn  with  deep  feelings  (  not  them  thinking  they’re  soulmates  after  dating  for  a  month  . . .  pete  &  ariana  type  beat  )  but  completely  unrealistic  .  they  have  their  own  life  ,  he’s  pretty  much  tied  to  the  restaurant  ,  not  to  mention  his  lack  of  sharing  anything  about  his  childhood / life  back  home  .  they  loved  &  cared  for  each  other  ,  but  crashed  &  burned  fairly  quickly  because  of  how  idealistic  it  was  .  they  can  either  be  on  bad  or  good  terms  now  .

hateship  with  sexual  tension  😈

summer  flings  !!

fake  boyfriend  :  he  shows  up  on  her  arm  to  her  family’s  events  where  she’s  expected  to  have  a  partner  .  it’s  not  a  real  relationship  ,  but  her  parents  don’t  need  to  know  that  .  he  plays  the  part  &  satisfies  her  parents  beyond  the  bare  minimum  ,  &  in  return  she  invites  him  to  parties  ,  takes  him  out  on  her  family’s  yacht  ,  etc  etc  .  we  luv  some  symbiosis  

i  can  always  use  more  fwbs  hehehe

squad  :  a  group  of  people  who  do  everything  together  ,  have  a  chaotic  group  chat  ,  have  nicknames  for  one  another  ,  are  utd  on  each  other’s  sex  lives  ,  party  all  night  then  show  up  to  brunch  hungover  together  .  

cat  &  mouse  :  someone  he’s  pursuing  who  isn’t  quite  giving  in  ,  &  vice  versa  .  maybe  it’s  been  going  on  a  few  years  ,  everytime  they’re  in  st  tropez  they  have  this  weird  lil  flirtationship  thing  goin  on  until  she  leaves  ,  they  forget  about  one  another  ,  then  pick  it  right  back  up  when  she  returns  .

confidant  :  preferably  someone  from  a  working  class  background  who  understands  his  plight  of  being  a  worker  amongst  people  who  expect  to  be  waited  on  .

enemies  :  they  don’t  like  his  attitude  ,  &  he  doesn’t  like  them  in  return  .  lots  of  eye  rolls  ,  shit  talking  ,  &  tension  between  their  mutual  friends  .

we’re  sleeping  together  but  we  shouldn’t  be  but  that’s  half  the  fun :  for  whatever  reason  they  became  friends  ,  starting  hooking  up  despite  it  not  being  a  good  idea  (  read  :  he’s  exes  with  one  of  her  friends  ,  her  parents  want  her  focused  on  career  ,  they’re  part  of  the  same  friend  group  ,  etc )  . . . but  now  they  can’t  stop  .  lots  of  stolen  glances  across  rooms  ,  squeezing  past  one  another  in  a  crowded  club  just  close  enough  for  a  quick  touch  to  the  back  ,  quietly  leaving  one  another’s  places  the  morning  after  &  playing  dumb  to  anyone  who  asks  . 

[captainpufferfish]

LIVE REACT LIVE REACT LIVE REACT

(this is my second time around watching this cuz first time I was screaming too much so eh but yeah)

i love the format already the art is amazing and adorable and I love it

ok I feel very called out with the you too thing

roman!!! virgil!!!!

oh no they angy

THE OLD JOKES IM-

ok ro virg lay off him

oh the Roman angst is kicking the fuck in

the chorus of liar I stg

"*insert Shakespeare here*" "what?" "cutie at 12 o'clock" I LOVE THAT

the amount of gay this episode radiates is me whenever im pining over a cute girl and I feel vERY ATTACKED

I love how the 'liar' goes from an accusation to just,,,, "I'm not interested." "liar."

"we don't know if they're not gay" me all the time because quarantine fucked with my gaydar

THE STICKER PIN SYSTEM AH YES IM WELL AWARE OF THIS

BUT THATS A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME

the "oh. my. god" is so on point

ok mr sand I see your primary goal for this video was just to call me out

the way Virgil can't sit up straight really resonates with my soul or some shit

I may kin virgil now just because of this ep

for some reason this virg has big pre aa vibes and I can't really explain why he just,,,,does, u feel?

the art style is a👏or 👏a👏ble

TEH NEWS REPORTER DESK IM FUCKING DYING

"oooooohhh"...."ooooh" just the transition from yay to nay is so great

"good points guys! I don't want me to be doing this either!" ladies and gentlemen the volume in this bus is astronomical

I'm very familiar with the five second rule

"gay,,gay,gay,,,HES GAY" no shit sherlock

speaking of sherlock where the FUCK is my smart son

"no man!" "uhm, it's ro-man. with an r." CATCH ME KINNING ROMAN'S HIMBO-NESS

better listen to Virgil he's an xxexpert

ROMANS "EASY TIGER" OH MY GOSBDHJWNS

"gay eyes?" "gay eyes" honey those barely work hate to break it to you but I have tried and tested with no good results.

"you were tESTING ME?" "oh no I wasn't testing you I was just panicking" same virgil same

"I hAte To RaIn On YoUr BlAcK PaRaDe, GerArd gAy-" solid reference 10/10

oh my god the stand up sit down thing

"youre making a mistake!" "if I am, I'll add it to the list!" roman, honey, no no no stop if you keep talking bad about yourself im gonna physically fight you

"I don't know, pLAaNT" LSHAJDNDHAG

THE PLAY ALONG THING IM GOING TO DIE OH MY GOD

THE TRASH CAN OH MY GOD THOMAS

this is so sad alexa play despacito

can we get some likes for this fallen soldier 😔

the bird metaphors oh my fucking god

"that's like cyber stalking, but in. real life!" "so,,,stalking" "...OH YOU'RE RIGHT!!" don't worry Virgil I too forget that the outside world exists it's okay

THE SPEAKING FROM THE HEART THING AAAAAAAA

JSHDJSBBSJDBSHSBJSBHA OH MY GOD NICOS FACE WHEN HE COMES OUT OF THE STALL IM DEAD I AM DECEASED

the terrified gay look that they all have is so my aesthetic

terrified gay™

"I was just running lines in the mirror" thomas oh my god why no stop please like dude fuck stop

NICO CAME BACK FUCK YEAH

"AAAAA WHAT" "HE WAS AFRIAD YOUD LEFT?" "HE FEARS THINGS TOO???" yeah virg I think everyone fears things

the sheer gay panic of Roman and Virgil yelling at thomathy to do different things at once is so strong i could feel it thru the screen

"ANACONDA! THOMAS, HE'S A NIKKI MINAJ FAN!!" wow

no he left nooooo

NO ROMAN DONT BE SAD STOP IT WHEN YOU'RE SAD IM SAD

again, I am but a humble Logan kinnie waiting for my smart boy, but also as a Roman kinnie I'm getting the fuel I need

you can bet I'm writing some Logan angst about this tho

VIRGIL YOU HAVE GAINED SO MUCH RESPECT FROM ME

YOUVE MOVED UP IN THE RANKS OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS GOOD JOB YOU LEVELLED UP

so proud that the purp man wasn't a bitch (virgil stans this is a JOKE please don't come for me)

i've only had nico for an hour but if anyone hurt him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself

BOYS ARE HAPY YES GOOD

I am respectfully fan-enbying very hard rn

SJZHSJSA THE BIN METAPHOR

the himbo energy of thomas accidentally outing himself as the one who ran into the bin is just me

hi yes mr sanders you stole my vibe give it back

ROMANS FACE WHEN THOMAS SAYS HE HAD A BRUISED EGO SWANSGKWW

"well let's not waste this one" hhhhhhh I want a girlfriend please and thank you

this has just become me making fun of c!Thomas's gay pining while gay pining

the chorus of "shut up" from red himbo and purp himbo makes me hapy

serotonin check

THE END BIT WITH LOWKEY PRINXIETY VIBES HAS ME SO SOFT

oh my god guys the prinxiety shippers are gonna go WILD I feel it in my bone marrow

"shut up emo" IM SO SOFT SKDHISNSD NO STOP IT THOMAS I WANT TO GO BACK TO BEING ANXIOUS AND FULL OF RAGE

roman's so happy when he says the old joke, I think to myself, momentarily forgetting that pof was a thing and that princey is still v sad

nice patreon promo

AAAAA THEYRE HERE

the happy flustered "oh my gods" make me happy because that's just me whenever I succeed at something

the screaming is just me after the wholesomefest that was this episode

OOOOOH V'S EYESHADOW IS PRETTY ANS SHINY AND PURPLE I LOVE

oh no I've claimed that I dislike virgil and now I'm going soft oh ew I'm going soft

I'm still angry at him for threatening my smart boy but he's better now

I need somewhere to direct my anger this is bad

ANYWAY

"huh! delete it now." ME EVERYTIME I TRY POSTING A FIC SKNXISBSHSA

oh no his eyeshadow went back to the void

I'm always up for some blackhole eyeshadow but the purp was pretty and shiny and crow brain went brrrrr

"yeah! join me, no thinking!" your local himbo, more at 9

"I'm gonna need you to shake your hands" my brain whenever anything good happens

"GAH, DEMON" Florida man thinks dog is demon, terrified every time it barks

"DONT TELL ME TO RELAX" me after this video

thanks for coming to my TedTalk

[yanderecandystore]

dude sheepy do u know abt corpse party? if theres rumors abt the delinquent school being haunted, imagine smth kind of like that in that school, but like with less gore. maybe even a ghost love interest. maybe!!! the reader is one of jacks goons and!! love triangle?? i gotta go

Let me throw in not only one, but two new characters in the mix because I'm a masochist.

Jack my boy, I'm sorry, but you have some competition. Also no, Bucky isn't one of the "official characters" (as in, there won't be any requests available for him).

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Hidden, forgotten, and starving [Yandere!Delinquent x Goon!Reader x Yandere!Ghost boy x (Fuck, another possible Yandere!oc??)]:

(Non-binary reader btw)

You know, when your leader said something along the lines of "Meet me up in 9 p.m", you thought it was going to be something fun. Maybe you and the gang would be able to hangout without having to be on school grounds, or on a dark nasty alley.

But, nah, that was only wishful thinking.

Jack's type of fun is a little different from the normal person's type of fun. Is surprisingly really violent for someone who's is kinda small, and has such a pretty face.

Not, that you have noticed or anything.

Hell, one of these days he said he would burn a whole corporation and drag some rich family's name into the mud for, pissing him off? You guess?? He was ranting, so none of you actually payed attention.

Again, he may be a little short, but that anger in his soul is something no human can comprehend. Where were you? Oh yeah, he didn't call the gang to play some games and have fun, he had called y'all to beat the shit out of some other gang….

On school grounds…..

At night.

"- …. You know this isn't a good idea, right?"

You asked him if he was sure, but he didn't say anything. He was focused on only one goal.

Entering inside the school isn't really hard. If anything, is pretty easy, jump the horribly placed iron fence. Ya done. Welcome to Saint Bernard's School for Little Prodigies! Where everything sucks, and everyone is insane!

"- It isn't so bad! There are a lot of cool things hidden in this place… There are so many legends that graduated from this school!" Your fellow gang member and also local himbo sweetheart, Bucky, (is actually Benedict, but he doesn't really like that name), said it.

"- I don't think so…" You said honestly. You don't really think you, Bucky, Jack and the others are going to find anything special except dust and old shit. The only thing that will spice this night is this gang meet up or whatever.

"- Come on, it will be fun! We can search the school and find all type of old stuff!" You look at how excited he is, and although you love him dearly, you can't help but still have difficulty to enjoy this whole situation.

"- Bucky….. it's old stuff."

"- I know right! Can you go with me [Y/N]-"

"- Oh my God- Shut up!" Jack yelled. He was getting impatient with your whole conversation. He had only came here to show some girl gang that this school doesn't have any space for them. Not to see…. You and that imbecile talking about stupid shit.

When he yelled he did seem to mention it more towards Bucky than you. It's not that he doesn't like him, it's just that he-

"- [Y/N], come here!" Jack yelled again, calling you to get closer.

You go towards him, as he asks you to look around and see if you can see anyone. But no one seems to be near the school grounds, and you can't see any motorcycle girl's gang anywhere.

"- Why exactly are we going to fight them again?" You ask, tired more than usual of Jack's odd behavior. Or well, usual behavior.

"- …." Silence. He doesn't answer you, but his expressions changes a little. Fuck, why can't you just follow his lead without questioning everything.

…

No, he shouldn't have thought that, ever. Y'all are your own people, you don't need to hear him, he prefers when you guys decide for yourselves. Well mostly the other ones, when it comes to you, he has a hard time acknowledging how he doesn't like how you head in into danger without hearing him.

He never stops to actually think about this stuff, maybe today he just….. feel a little more on edge than usual.

After seeing that neither you or the rest will just drop the question, he answered.

"- …. Sigh. The leader of the other gang wants to be the new Little Miss Red." He said unbothered, while everyone had an extreme reaction, you were left wondering who the fuck was Little Miss Red.

Sounds like a anime villain, or something like that.

"- [Y/N]!! Y-you don't w-who Little, L-little-"

Bucky was trying to ask you so hard, but he couldn't stop stuttering with excitement and fear. Jack is having none of his dumb attitude today.

"- Speak up. Little Miss Red." He said, harshly. What is wrong with him today?

"- S-sorry Jack. Little Miss Red was the first student to form a gang and dominate the entire school!" He is excited to tell you everything he knows. He may be a little troublemaker, but is mostly because he really admires Lil Red and her story (even if most was left far away from public sight).

"- Oh, really?" You're not gonna lie, you wished you were sleeping at home. You wished you heard about this chick on another day. You can't be bothered right now. So what? Some girl wants to be the new Red? What do you have to do with it?

"- She wants to dominate the school, dumbass." Another one of your group said. Fuck that guy, you can't even remember his name, you're really tired.

"- If not the whole entire neighborhood around the school." Said Jack.

"- Well, I'm pretty sure they aren't coming, how about we just go home then-"

A loud noise came from inside the school. You guys could see a little bit of light coming from outside the windows.

"- Are they inside?" You ask.

"- We were supposed to meet outside." Jack responded.

….

Silence.

And then, of course, since you guys really needed an encouragement to get inside that hell place, all of you heard a disturbing, inhuman scream. And after that, a female voice calling for help.

"- …. We, are going in, or…?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like, this is a really, really dumb idea. Normally when someone hears a terrible noise and then a call for help, it only ends up being a terrible sign.

"- Going towards the monster, nice plan." You said sarcastically. It's not that you're afraid of monsters….. You just don't want to meet one, in person.

"- Monsters aren't real." Jack said.

"- … But if you really are scared, then come here."

"- Sure."

You walked closer to Jack, that was leading the way towards the corridors. His phone's flashlight being extremely useful.

Something is bugging his mind ever since you all entered school grounds. He feels like Bucky is getting a little too friendly with you, and although he shouldn't be mad about something so stupid, he can't stop thinking about this.

He needs to concentrate, but he can't stop worrying about Bucky losing his guard and you-

"- Hey, I think we should separate."

...

"- … What?"

He is being a dumbass.

"- Why though? What if we can't find each other?"

He only wants to ask you a simple question, but is such a stupid question. He needs everyone to go away so you two can talk.

"- Let's divide into two groups, I'll go with [Y/N], y'all can go upstairs and check it out."

"- But that's not even equally divided-"

"- I said, go upstairs-"

…

Again.

Another scream. That same female voice, it sounds so close, coming from the other hall.

But then another one, a male voice coming from…. Everywhere.

He sounds desperate, he says that someone should get him out.

"- Hello? Who's there?" Bucky asked.

"- You know, you shouldn't ask ghosts questions, they can start fucking stuff up man." One of the other members said.

"- Oh, but they sound in pain, shouldn't we help-"

"- Please… I don't want to stay here…" The male voice said. His voice is starting to crack, he is crying.

His voice is coming from somewhere really close.

"- Argh!" You all turned your backs to see a girl in leather jacket trying to crawl. She finally notice that she wasn't alone.

"- Help!-" Hands covered her mouth, her face, her arms, it started dragging her backwards.

You guys were going to follow her, when again.

"- Please, open this door…." You heard him, he was in agony. You couldn't leave him alone.

Jack and the others were following the girl, while you kept walking down the hallway. Following the voice.

You felt like you needed to help him. Desperately. He was going to die if you didn't. To you it felt like ages as you walked slowly to the janitor's closet.

Walking silently, trying to hear his pleads. He got louder and louder the more you came closer to his prison.

You found the janitor's closet. The door was shaking with the pounds of the boy.

"- GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT-"

You opened the door. It wasn't locked. It hadn't been locked since a long time.

You finally woke up from, whatever the hell happened to you just now. But you don't think you're a 100% fine, tho.

You can only hear a deafening silence. There is no one here. There is nothing here except for old paper on the ground.

You walked in, slowly, afraid that if you took a bad step you would suddenly fuck something up.

You kneeled down, looking at the documents in the ground. You, suddenly feel a little too eager to read them.

Maybe you're just feeling really curious.

There are old newspapers, all saying something about Saint Bernard's School for Little Prodigies. Some saying something about Little Miss Red, others about the school bad conditions and somehow involvement into the Amaryllis Academy's school foundation.

You found a couple of notes cut into pieces, some are not easy to read. Others are really simple and, although you would normally find really boring to read this kind of stuff, you have a odd feeling reading them.

It's two friends talking over paper messages. They seem to be in class and can't let the teacher know they're not paying attention. They talk about meeting after school, and having plans on a Saturday. It doesn't have a exact date on the paper, but you can see the paper is pretty old and dirty.

It sounds like a normal friendship. One of them even said:" I have something really important to tell you, but I can't really tell you in person since I'm really shy about this stuff. I'll tell you this Saturday, I promise."

You found old photos of students on the ground. Most are market with a red marker. Crosses all over their faces. But the are only two that you can see the face of.

A chubby black girl, big curly hair, wearing glasses. She is looking really awkward in this picture, as if she didn't want to take it. She is wearing the same blue jacket you're using right now.

The other one, however.

Is the same chubby black girl. Her hair has red streaks on it, and she isn't wearing the blue jacket, but rather a red vest, with fishnets under going from her shoulder, to her hands. You almost thought they weren't the same person, one looks shy and awkward, but somehow really sweet, the other one is straight up giving whoever was the cameraman the middle finger. Her faces says how done she is with everyone's bullshit.

You like this girl. You guess this is the girl you heard about.

And the last thing you found. Was a cut article about, some student that was found dead out of nowhere on this school.

His body was inside this closet.

You didn't notice, but time suddenly stopped when you enter in the janitor's closet. It didn't stop literally, but you didn't felt like it was running normally.

On a moment you were seeing a girl being dragged by some hands, and now your reading some old creepy stuff.

Which reminded you-

"- [Y/N]! Where are you?" Jack asked, his voice was somewhere distant.

"- Wait, guys I'm here!"

You get up as fast as you can, but it didn't matter.

As soon as you return to reality after reading about your cursed school, you felt the sudden realization that they didn't see you going the other way. Hell, you didn't even help that girl that was being fucking dragged!

Before you can escape this terrible place, the door closes.

And it locks itself.

"- No, no, no, no, no, guys! Come on, I'm here, you idiots!"

You bang the door and scream as loud as you can. No one can hear you.

"- Goddammit."

You start packing, thinking they might leave you here if you don't do something. But before you can think of a way out, the realization of you not being the only one inside there, hits you really hard.

"- …. He-help!" You heard it. That same male voice from before. Closer than ever. He sounds like he is right behind you.

Yet his voice sounds hoarse. Timid, yet cold.

You turn around to look at your company, you see a student, just like you, curled up into a ball, holding his stomach. He is murmuring nonsense….

You try to get closer.

Hey, maybe he is lost…?

You can see he is a latino boy with long hair, tied as a low ponytail. He is shaking uncontrollably.

"- I'm- I'm so hungry. Please, let me go."

He managed to say out loud.

"- Hey, are you alright? I can help you, we just need to get out of this closet, I can buy you something, okay?"

What happened to this poor guy? He seems traumatized.

"- Pl-please!"

He stutters again. You came closer, putting your hand on his shoulder.

"- I'm going to help you, okay?"

You say.

He stopped shaking. He stopped talking. He stopped hyperventilating. He stopped breathing.

He is extremely cold.

Before you can react, you're pinned to the ground. The ghost boy on top of you, salivating like a mad man.

"- Hey! Get off!" You don't want to believe this guy is dead. Ghosts aren't real. Monsters aren't real, right??

He is breathing even faster than before. Like there isn't enough air on his lungs.

Believe it or not, he truly doesn't want to do this.

"- ….. I'm sorry." He apologized before biting your neck.

"- What?-Aaaaargh!-"

For a ghost guy, he does feel really real! It hurts a lot!! What is he a vampire or a ghost?

You're bleeding. He isn't trying to suck your blood, he is trying to tear your skin.

You can hear his stomach growling.

And you can also hear Jack searching for you. You manage to free yourself from the ghosts grip and move yourself away for a bit.

"- Jack? JACK! Help!- Argh, fuck! Get off!"

Only to have him try to tear your arm away. He isn't doing a good job at this though.

"- I'm sorry. I-I'm really sorry!" You look and see him crying.

"- Well, then let me-"

A unholy screech comes from you. He broke your arm, at first he didn't seem so strong, but after feeling him digging his fingers into your arm and rotating it, you can tell he really is trying to tear your arm away.

He could have done this quicker. But he didn't want to do this to begin with! He swears, he doesn't like doing this…

For your luck, your scream is heard. You can see the door shaking and hear Jack screaming for you on the other side.

Ghost boy got distracted by it. Usually, there isn't anyone at night. Actually, he is the whole reason there isn't any night classes.

Too many students and staff members suddenly going missing at night time.

It's good to meet new people. He used to think so. He misses having company.

He misses not endlessly consuming people to satisfy an endless hunger.

"- Jack!" You took advantage of the boy's distraction, and decided to get away from him. You kicked him, but your foot passed right through him.

You still managed to get away and reach the door. You looked back, thinking he was chasing you.

He wasn't. He didn't want to. He could, but he really didn't want to.

He only said his goodbye towards you, still apologizing for what happened.

You were too surprised by the boy's action, that you collided with Jack when he opened the door.

"- Ouch- Really? You missed me this much [Y/N]?"

You can't respond. You're hyperventilating like you just runned a marathon.

"- Hey, are you alright? I heard you screaming, are you hurt?"

You remember your arm was broken, and that's when you realize, it's really painful. Yet you can't really find the right words right now.

"- [Y/N]?!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack brought you home after the whole incident happened. Turns out the girl that was getting dragged was actually the leader of the gang you were supposed to fight off.

Janette, the girl's name, was "playing a little prank on everyone", cause you know, that's really funny when everyone is scared as hell.

The fight was still going to happen, but Jack couldn't care less about that or her, he only wanted take care of your broken arm. Janette didn't really complain, she didn't understand how the hell you managed to get your arm broken, but she didn't want to fight anyone that was already in disadvantage.

Although being someone that wanted to pick a fight with all of you, Janette helped you out with your broken arm and bleeding caused by the ghost boy.

She is apparently really talented when it comes to dealing with this stuff, you can tell she has been through a lot, looking at her scarred face.

She is really pretty for someone so build. Damn, that actually makes her more pretty though.

Oh, and about the ghost. No one fucking believes you. They all think you either were hallucinating or just "saw things because you were scared".

You tried to explain how you got hurt, but when you mentioned a ghost, absolutely no one understood what you were talking about.

Anyway, you had a long night. You need some rest. In the morning you'll explain what happened to everyone.

Even if you yourself can't tell what really went down while you were at school.

Your mind keeps re-telling you what the ghost had told you before you left.

"- I'm sorry. I was really hungry."

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[taylor-fartnerd]

My Friend's Reactions To Spamalot Characters Because Why Not:

@gransonmasaru : Isn't Spamalot the fanfics with "My Little Croissant" and "You Naughty Fox"

Me: We don't talk about that.

1. King Arthur:

Me: Okay, we're gonna start with Arthur, King of The Britons.

Gransonmasaru: Hot.

Gransonmasaru: OH! Not hot, nevermind. He looks like a pedophile- he looks like he touched my children.

2. Patsy

Me: We're gonna do Patsy next.

Gransonmasaru: He sounds like a Patsy hahahahh.

Me: You're not funny.

Gransonmasaru: Bow down to me, mud peasant. Why does he hang silverware over his neck? There's like a spoon and a bowl.

Me: I- THAT'S NOT A BOWL.

Gransonmasaru: He's the King's silverware holder.

3. Galahad

Gransonmasaru: He sounds like a Legally Blonde Character.

Me: Callahan?

Gransonmasaru: No he just sounds like a Legally Blonde Character.

Gransonmasaru: He looks like a mixture of Farquaad and Prince Charming.

Me: THAT'S FARQUAAD!

Gransonmasaru: He looks like if they were gay lovers and had a kid.

Me: I hate you.

Gransonmasaru: He looks like a himbo.

Me: He is.

4. Bedevere

Gransonmasaru: Sigh. He looks like he smokes weed. Not weed. OUID. Implying that he's french.

Me: He IS French.

Gransonmasaru: See I'm smart.

Me: Wait no he's not french.

Gransonmasaru: He looks like if Gargamel had a full head of hair.

Me: Oh my GOD.

Gransonmasaru: Looks like he speaks British. I mean-

Me: HE S P E A K S BRITISH.

Gransonmasaru: NO I MEANT HE LOOKS LIKE HE HAS AN ACCENT.

5. Robin

Gransonmasaru: A graceful man. That's it.

Me: That's it?

Gransonmasaru: That's it. His hair's pretty nice. He looks like if Gordon Ramsey was soft.

Me: I HATE THAT.

Gransonmasaru: If he wasn't a knight he'd own a restuarant.

Me: No he wouldn't.

Gransonmasaru: Yes he would and the chicken would be the logo.

6. Lancelot

Gransonmasaru: oh yeaahh.

Gransonmasaru: The chain makes him look a conehead.

Me: NOOOOOO.

Gransonmasaru: Um, hmm...I don't know what to say about this man. He probably like, he's that dude who's like "Hey, look at this!" And downs a redbull in 5 seconds. And you're not impressed. But extremely concerned.

Me: That. But instead of redbull, it's murder.

Gransonmasaru: Oh hey LOOK AT THIS. Murders ten people.

7. Prince Herbert

Gransonmasaru: What is with Christian Borle and playing gay characters?

Gransonmasaru: Local gay man watches in awe as wimpy loser tries to pull sword from stone.

Me: I love his face in the GIF.

Her, looking at Herbert's wedding dress: Is that his DRESS? Oh my god, I love him.

Me: He's like the best part of the show for me.

8. Lady of The Lake/Guinevere

Gransonmasaru: Her name is Cynthia and she'll ruin your life in a span of seconds.

Me: Her NAME is Guinevere.

Gransonmasaru: No her name is Cynthia and she's the type of girl if you piss off at parties she'll run into you and spill her drink on you. And then go "Ooopps.."

Me: Regina George.

Gransonmasaru: K. She looks like she'd be my aunt. She looks like she's related to me and I don't like it.

Me: She kinda does.

Gransonmasaru: She looks like a Queen though.

Me: She is, she's amazing.

9. The Swamp King.

Me: Here's the bitch.

Gransonmasaru: He looks like that dude from Harry Potter.

Me: HAGRID?

Gransonmasaru: He looks like Hargid.

Me: Hagrid doesn't deserve that.

9. French Guards

Gransonmasaru: I see Christian Borle peeking out there.

Me: THERE HE IS.

Gransonmasaru: They're the four dumbasses. They look like coneheads. They're related to Lancelot. Coneheads run in the family.

Me: NO.

Gransonmasaru: They look like the kind of people where their boss is like "Where's the food?" "About that, Boss. We kinda ate it."

Me: That's accurate.

Gransonmasaru: Christian Borle ate it.