#( i love love love alice and i want nothing but good things support womens rights and their insanity too )

[polarnoid]

7. How do they physically engage with other people, inanimate objects, and their environment? What causes the differences between these? (for Alice!)

so this is interesting because alice goes through stages, she behaves rather normal around people, she tends to go unnoticed unless she's KNOWN then she tends to retreat into herself, make herself small, when angry it's the only time she opens up, broadens her stance. she's volatile, but if not engaged she is the type to sit and pull her legs closer, to herself, she is not a tactile person, she won't hold hands or invade anyone's space because she doesn't like touch, and it would be interesting to think what would be an ocassion where she would touch someone and allow herself to be touched. she's vocal about this, and tends to say it very offhandedly, politely still. but she isn't one not to push her way out of a situation.

with objects, she is the complete opposite, she touches things holds onto them, it has to do with the fact that she lost everything in a fire, and she hasn't had many things that are hers. the things that she carries, she is always holding. she doesn't hoard but if the object in question is special to her they get a name. and it feels like friends, sometimes they have some sort of wonderland connection. the one object she has grown very attached to is her book, basically where she draws and writes down information that help her distinguish what is "real life" and not her mind space. it's very arts and crafts. she personalizes things also, in modern verses this means stickers and drawing and it's very much a journal. in wonderland, her weapons also have become one of the closest physical connections she has made while fixing it up, the vorpal blade especially. it feels like it BELONGS to her. it's a little interesting how well she has become at wielding it and having it in her hand has become some sort of a companionship stemming from touch.

when it comes to her enviorment, she is infinitely curious, she will read information that could be posted places, conmemorations of statues, posters and informations on street signs, but she is hesitant to touch, unless it is a place that she goes to often. it helps her settle the fact that she is real too.

All this things and behaviors stem from her feeling NOT REAL and not being able to recognize what is real or what if part of her mindspace. shifting between these realities have her act a certain way. not to mention that from ages 8 to like 20 her interactions with people, especially physical interactions have been very cold and medical, it takes her a while for her to allow even the thought of being touched, which makes her be reserved when it comes to physical connections. it's a little sad, but definitely something interesting to explore.

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

Can you write a post with ur thoughts about the line "What have I done but what was expected of me? Forever upholding the kingdom, the family, the law" cause alicent is the biggest hypocrite to me

Oh yeah this scene is where Alicent's true character shines through the most. She takes a situation where her son has sustained a traumatic injury and has been caught spouting treason and turns it into an opportunity to attack Rhaenyra and her family. Her hatred of Rhaenyra and desire to undermine her overshadows everything else.

Alicent disrespects the Velaryons at least twice in the scene, more than that it's in their own keep on the day of their daughter's funeral. This makes no political sense, as it just distances the Velaryons, one of the most powerful houses at this time. All she sees is how disparaging Laenor, Lucerys, and by extension Corlys, is a way to attack Rhaenyra.

Aemond has just been maimed, in part due to the constant of treason she teaches him (granted she doesn't actually know what happened during the fight). However, the main target of her anger and hatred is Rhaenyra, not Lucerys who wielded the knife, or Viserys who doesn't seem to care enough. She reveals her true motivation when she says her "iconic" line.

Alicent reveals her true reason for hating Rhaenyra and her family. Rhaenyra refuses to be bound by Westerosi traditions and isn't being punished enough for it. Rhaenyra being named heir is a break from tradition (not law as some TG stans claim). Rhaenyra has had premarital and extramarital sex and hasn't been disinherited or executed for it. Rhaenyra has had sons who aren't her husband's yet they are still declared legitimate.

Alicent is a woman who has been harmed by the patriarchy, but instead of directing her anger at the institution that hurt her, she instead focuses it on women who refuses to be used like she was. Alicent wants the women around her to suffer like she did. That's why she hates that Rhaenyra didn't force herself and Laenor to have sex despite neither wanting it. That's why she wants Rhaenyra to sacrifice everything for Aegon's claim.

This bitterness and hatred is Alicent's core motivation, tainting even things that are supposed to be good. Alicent's love for her children is corrupted by her desire to put Rhaenyra "in her place", hence why she hurts each of them in her pursuit.

Anon, you are very much correct, Alicent is a massive hypocrite. To her the Faith, Westerosi law, and the good of the realm mean basically nothing. Her only priority is upholding the patriarchy and ensuring Rhaenyra suffers at least as much as she did.

Alicent preaches honor and decency, protecting the realm, protecting her children, and following the law while she disregards and trapples each of them. She supports and protects murderers and rapists, where's the honor or decency in that? She causes a war to put an incompetent drunk on the throne, killing thousands of innocent people and burning a massive chunk of the land. She sentences each of her children to death with her actions. And finally, she commits treason again and again, which is obviously breaking the law.

Rhaenyra is right, we know all we need to about Alicent once this scene is over. She's nothing more than a bitter and vengeful hypocrite who wants to tear Rhaenyra down because she rebels against the system.

[silverystrings]

whether for good or ill

i think that there is so much tension and hatred towards house of the dragon and has been since the beginning, that hating on the writers and everyone involved has become too much. i just don’t think that sara and ryan are d&d. d&d and everyone involved in game of thrones were arrogants and misogynists and thought that they were better. i mean by the end they didn’t give a fuck that much.

but with ryan and sara, i think they aren’t those arrogants and misogynists despite the contrary beliefs. i think they geniunely enjoy the world and they tried a different approach. they are the not like the other girls. jk jk unless..

no but this particular history was difficult to do either way. we are talking about the targaryens; the incest made them mad blood purist “perception” of the audience//general/local audience. and they do start with “they are their own enemy/downfall”. so i don’t think they have forgotten that. they have “themes”. and yes they have tried to do a character arc for everyone in big and small ways. and yes hbo crossing two other episodes probably damaged this second season a lot. i mean season 1 was also like this until the last two episodes where shit it’s at its peak. and the second season probably could have ended up too in that way.

as some reactor said, it felt like in this finale everyone kind of found themselves, even more setting up to do for season three.

daemon in the finale of season 1 wasn’t really loyal to rhaenyra in the complete sense. the way he was looking at her at visenya’s funeral, the clashing in the council, the choking, the way he said “dreams didn’t make us kings, dragons did” ????????? and the scene in the second season with rhaenyra, the way she says my throne, and he throws it in her face what he thought all along, that viserys chose her because of daemon.. and then he goes to harrenhal alone, tries to be a king, gets haunted by all these “dreams” and finally understands and supports Rhaenyra fully, that she is the rightful queen, and the part they play in the greater story. we know that season 3 and potentially 4 are just deaths after deaths. and as a lot have predicted, they probably will be estranged again. but it won’t be for the throne, for the heir, for this thing that has been between them since the beginning of the show. it will be because of his daughters. (laena;have you looked after our girls)

alicent—i don’t think the writers did nothing with her. i mean they love liv and what she brings to the table and alicent. they never wouldn’t have a plan for her character. she is a character that is the only one who survives and dies the last. as i said i don’t define her character as her being a mother. in fact that’s why ryan and sara are better at bringing something different. constantly in game of thrones we have all the women or the contraversial ones like cersei or catelyn but especially cersei: have being a mother define her character. “your love for your children is the only redeeming quality. if it wasn’t for my kids i would have thrown myself off the red keep a long time ago.” there are so many scenes and quotes about cersei and her loving her children and doing everything for her children. and yes that’s great. but in the books, she wants to rule for herself because her time has come, and she doesn’t want tommen to rule or learn or anything. yes she cares deeply and is constantly concerned for their well being. but still in the show it was very exaggerated. because they loved cersei but the audience didn’t. so her one quality was her motherhood. and that’s great. but as i said sara and ryan don’t make motherhood their only quality. alicent is a child bride and she has a veeeery complicated relationship with her kids. and her crowning aegon is definitely moreso because her and otto truly believed in keeping the peace of the realm. having a female heir, war was gonna follow. so that’s why alicent did it. yes the viserys part it’s oopsies but i mean dreams and tragedy are a targaryen thing and not far fetched. so she did that. and she completely lost. and by the end she sees that this isn’t “right” and wanting war to end. she is at last herself. she did what she was supposed to do, the mission of her life, and now she is free. i am so curious to how her arc is gonna go from now. is she gonna go and meet up with daeron? maybe she will try to put him on the throne when the people turn against rhaenyra and she thinks he is the best of them?!?! i know people think her story was over in s1. i think those are very misogynistic fans. alicent isn’t a villain and it’s not gonna be one. the writers have said this since the beginning. and i for one love that. she is the most normal character in the whole show. i said what i said. otto for making her be a child bride was the worst. the targaryens and rhaenyra and daemon were always gonna be a problem for her. and she making male heirs was always gonna be a problem for them. she is free. is she gonna be like arya? idk.

rhaenyra— ooof. i think this season was her finally getting assurance that she is the “chosen” one for the prophecy and that she is the heir, not because viserys spurns daemon. and i think as daemon finally understands the dreams importance, rhaenyra also understands the dragons’s importance. i mean they completely turn the tide for her in this season. and i know how much criticized rhaenyra’s and alicent’s relationship is. but alicent coming to her at last and essentially confirming and wanting her to take the throne it’s like the last thing to come full circle. her father truly believed on her and not because of daemon, daemon finally accepts that she is the heir too and is firmly done with the “pursuit” of it. and alicent, her best friend, the mother of viserys’s other kids, her enemy, her best friend, finally “supports her”. it was a rollercoaster it’s true. but she came on top. and i think now she will not be stoping herself in blooding her hands or doing necessary things for keeping herself on that throne. i think others have done thinkpieces on how she was like sacrificing the people to claim the dragons. all those scenes. and how she will truly believe that she is that one for the prophecy and will do anything now. i think dragons dying is gonna be her weakness just as how she started to feeling powerful with the dragons. i have seen theories of fisherman lucerys. and this is exactly the type of thing that sara and ryan could do. we won’t even know what started the war in the first place. luke dying is sad, but not defining. i know it sounds crazy. but even if he died or not, the war was always gonna get ugly.

i think these are the big characters of the show. and others are all also in personal journeys. rhaena finally having a dragon and being “useful”, criston accepting his faults (i mean alicent’s brother questioned him in front of everyone, pissing in his honour as a knight, the thing he was obsessed with, almost killed himself over, killed joffrey over, is now accepting his faults and accepting his death, he fought in wars before but wanted something more for his name, and he lost all of it to the dragons. he is defeated in every sense. his only arc is fighting as he was before the kingsguard. we have helaena who again isn’t defined only by a tragedy as sick as b&cheese. she still touches jahaera after. she is a dragon dreamer. and i don’t want her to just kill herself because of sadness. i know that we criticize the show for the grief and how quickly it’s over. i do agree too. but again i m not gonna define them by it. helaena speaking to daemon and aemond knowing how their fates are intertwined or rather their deaths. why did they do this? i guess helaena never being heard for her dreams and she now herself reaches out at the end to speak her “wisdom” and is actually listened and believed by both of them. it’s some sort of progress. but doesn’t she see herself is the question? possibly the same day too?!? hmm. aegon and aemond. i think everyone has said a lot abt them. tragedy is always gonna be present in this show. shakespearean tragedy. and also everyone is grey. we see the tragedy of both of them bc they never were suited for the throne. and that power.. absolute power as otto says.. especially in this family period and in this war.. it was gonna be poisonous..

idk i get all the complaints.. but as i said i could never treat them as d&d. especially for the female characters. they are actual characters. and yes i was mad too, at the “women peace and men bad bc war”.. but that is present in the book too. it’s the women who bind the wounds. and i did want to see mother playing this game for her son, rhaenyra wanting the throne for herself and being vengeful. and i think we will see that. but in different ways. not in obvious ways, in caricature like ways. and men did want war and were thirsting for war. so much peace that the last “war” was with maegor. so everyone jumped at the chance to write songs for them without knowing the cost of war especially with dragons. this isn’t a theme only in hotd but in asoiaf too.

i think they and the adaptation has flaws.. but i can’t call all of it shit or soulless. it was always gonna be a hard story to do. especially in the pov of the targaryens. they are their own downfall and so are the dragons. that’s how it’s gonna end hotd and same with every adaptation.

i m almost excited for a knight of the seven kingdoms, but man not for aegon the conqueror one. i genuinely think we don’t need it. and everything post dance is so much more interesting so i won’t be mad at those adaptations. but again grrm is never finishing those books. and so sometimes the question does arise of what’s even the point of these adaptations. i guess we just can enjoy them but even that is a crime. however picking the story where all the dragons die isn’t a bad idea for a show. especially with the events of asoiaf and game of thrones. it’s just that the “heroes” are not obviously targaryens and so it’s kind of hard and depressive to enjoy them. idk idk idk and just thinking abt the years its gonna take to make these other seasons it’s insane. insane for the fandoms and not normal people obviously 😭

[misanocircuit]

[pic & Italian-English translation by me! :) in pink it's Vale speaking]

The 125 champion from Brno to the Gazzetta's telephone

Valentino's women

"You're handsome, do you have a girlfriend? What kind of underwear do you wear? Don't cut your hair!"

·

Many teenager girls wanted to talk to Rossi, asking him some risqué questions. "Want to see me up close? At the Monza Rally or at the Motor Show". Unveiled many curiosities: "My new baby brother has evicted me out of my bed: now I sleep on the sofa". "I've bought the lucky-charm turtle at the supermarket".

The supporters worried for the post-victory hangover. "I'm fine but I had to celebrate, no?". About the future: "I would have stayed in 125 but Aprilia has insisted. In 250 it will be hard to do the same but at least I will be able to sleep more in the morning". And there's who confesses that Rossifumi's joy has been damped by Lady Diana's death and Biaggi.

·

Valentino is tired and sleepy. The journey from Brno to the Gazzetta's telephone was long and full of insomnia. He faces the telephone with a certain amount of skepticism. But it's the fans, especially many wild young girls, who immediately wake him up.

It's Giulia Vivian, 13 y.o., from Vicenza, to start.

"Valentino, is it really you? Oh mother, what an emotion", little excitement yelps can be heard in the background.

"But, how many of you are there?".

"Four. I'll pass you Alice who's 16".

"That seems already a bit too much".

"Listen Valentino, we would like to know when you're coming here to visit us".

"I just think never. I'll go to Bologna's Motor Show, we could meet there".

"Alright, we are all going to be there with the flags and we will paint our face with your colours".

"Maybe also naked?".

"Naked? We'll see, we love you, you have a beautiful voice".

A rousing 16 y.o. whose name we are going to omitt (you'll immediately understand why...) calls from the Brescia area.

"I was about to give up. I've been trying from an hour and my father wanted me to hang up".

"Such a pain in the ass!" [literally "ball-breaker"; editor's note].

"You're right, but I can't say him that. Is it true that you will race the Monza Rally?".

"Yes, in November, let the ball-breaker bring you there".

"If he doesn't bring me, he'll see".

"Come on the first day, because on the second day I don't know if I still will be in the race".

Then the topic switches on underwear.

"I have a curiosity: what do you usually wear, slips or boxers?".

"What a question... Usually slips. And you?" .

"It depends, on Thursdays I don't wear them".

"Damn!!! Now that I think about it, the rally starts exactly on Thursday".

Francesca Testori, 15 y.o., from Como, is embarrassed.

"Sorry, I'm excited. Although we know eachother: I'm the girl who has come to your house. But you were sleeping".

"Sorry what? I don't know anything about it...".

"Yes, your mother opened the door for me and she told me you were sleeping: you know, I was on holidays in that area. Your mother is kind".

"Yes of course, such a bummer! I sleep too much".

"Listen, I want to know from you how things are with Biaggi, I've heard a lot of stuff".

"I don't like him ("me too", underlines Francesca) but I don't have any problem with him. I simply am not his supporter. Then the "bastard" journalists have exaggerated things, but we did nothing to avoid it. I don't like him... Also sexually".

"I'm Martina...".

"Colombari?".

"No, Pegoraro, I'm calling from Treviso and I'm 13. I've watched you...".

"Have I been good?".

"Yes, and how are you?" .

"I have a bit of a sore throat".

"It's been half an hour that I've been trying to call: when I heard the phone line was free I felt like if I was fainting. How is Luca doing (the baby brother that mom Stefania has recently gave birth to; Ed.)?".

"He's starting to bother. He used to eat and sleep, now he cries. And then he sleeps in my bed, while I had to move on the sofa. When he was born he weighted 4,2 kilos, he was 1,20 tall and was 42 shoe size. But he's nice".

"I've been in Tavullia two weeks ago, because I was on holidays in the area".

She hesitates.

"Sorry, my belly is trembling for the emotion".

"Don't say it, here there are all of Gazzetta's journalists, like the director and deputy director. Let's do it like this, give me your phone number and I'm going to call you".

From Como calls Giuliana Mossi, 15 y.o.: her start is languid, Valentino immediately becomes attentive.

"You know, I'm friend with Francesca, the girl who came to your house but couldn't see you and so did I...".

"Don't tell me that also this time I was sleeping because otherwise I need to shoot myself".

"No, you weren't there, you were testing at the Mugello circuit".

"Ah, then it's fine. But I bet that you've talked to my mother, nice eh? They all say this, my mom is so cool".

"I wanted to know why you chose the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle as a lucky-charm".

"When I used to race minibikes I saw one on the helmet of another rider. I liked it and I went to the Coop to buy one".

"You're so beautiful, Valentino, sooner or later I'll come by to see you in Tavullia".

"I'm waiting for you".

Another tender call.

"I'm Erica Messena, I'm 17 and I call from Brescia. Do you remember when we have met eachother? You were with Capirossi at Quelli che il calcio [an Italian sport TV show; editor's note], I took you a picture and I wanted to send it to you. I've got the address: I did everything I could to track you down, I even called the Carabinieri [Italian police force; editor's note]".

To Lorenza Gabioli, 16 y.o. from Modena, Valentino entrust the result of a lightning-quick referendum:

"How about I cut my hair?".

"I'm sorry, like this you're stupendous, especially with the pigtail".

"Thanks for the advice".

Anyway there's a shocking news coming: super short hair and breathtaking colour. All to be seen, in Barcelona.

·

[top right text translation]

The car dealer friend

"Try not to change"

Among the many phonecalls suddenly an imperious voice can be heard from the other side of the phone:

"Here is Tosi Moto from Rimini: you're a monster [it's a compliment; editor's note], many congratulations".

Valentino immediately recognises who's speaking:

"Thanks, Otello".

"No, you're the one who's special — replies the friend, a car dealer who is highly committed in the smaller categories and who has met the new champion when he was a child —. You have a lot of supporters. On Sunday in Misano, for the first final of the Sport Production: we were cheering like crazy just for you. We were 76 people inside a garage in front of the TV. It was 10 minutes before the race and nobody was getting prepared: another while and even the start would have been postponed".

"Keep going like this — adds Otello — and you'll have everyone by your side, because you really represent the sportsmen, the ones who go to race on Sundays to have fun. I've been knowing you since you were a child and I know how many things you could do, how far you could arrive because you got your head straight. The important thing is that you don't let anyone mislead you. Woes".

[gulnarsultan]

I have a question, would Yandere platonic Rhaenyra become the Queen or it would be Aegon or Modern Reader? Because well Aegon doesn’t want to be the King, and since Otto wants Modern Reader to become the Queen, he would probably suggest that to Viserys. Otto would also tell Alicent that Modern Reader would be better than Rhaenyra, saying “Think about it Alicent, the world started to prosper and became more peaceful thanks to Y/N. Many women and children survived thanks to her, as well as Laena Velaryon, many schools and orphanages were built. We have better roads, we have better medicine and rivalry between houses getting less, and almost stopped, also Greyjoys started to get better since Y/N told them about new ways for them to prosper and now we opened new lands and we have many trading routes, thanks to Greyjoys. Even Dorne starts to cooperate and later join us.”

Yandere Alicent answers “Y/N made a lot of things for Seven Kingdoms.”

Yandere platonic Otto: Yes, exactly. She was working a lot to make Seven Kingdoms prosperous. Folks and nobles love and respect her, not to mention how many families sent gifts to thank her for saving women and children in their families. And Great Houses respect her and support her. Do you see what she’s done for everyone? She even let Aemond to claim a bigger dragon and taught maesters with medicine and science. And what did Rhaenyra do?

Alicent stays silent.

Yandere platonic Otto: Nothing. She did nothing. If it wasn’t Y/N we wouldn’t have achieved everything what we have now. Especially the world gets prosperous thanks to her.

Yandere platonic Alicent: But Y/N doesn’t want to be the Queen. She doesn’t mind Rhaenyra becoming a Queen. She also said she has problems with health, mostly with her eyes. She has a bad eyesight without glasses.

Yandere platonic Otto: Yes, everyone knows that, but no one dares to touch or even break her glasses. Everyone knows what would happen if they did. If Modern Reader becomes the Queen, the world would become much better. I’m not talking about how many letters of betrothals I have received, and I declined them. Because I don’t want Y/N to leave us, especially when we need her. So I have a suggestion, when Viserys dies, we will crown Y/N.

Yandere platonic Alicent: Father, you- it’s not right, and what would happen if Viserys claim Rhaenyra as an heir?

Yandere platonic Otto: I doubt that. Many people knows what Y/N did for everyone, gaining a title Y/N The Great.

So yeah what do you think about. Even if Rhaenyra becomes a Queen, Modern Reader would continue solving problems and help, I think.

You wrote great. Y/N did a lot of good for Westeros. Even more than Conquerors will be mentioned in the history books. Thanks to Y/N, they don't force Aegon to become King. However, the greens do not want Rhaenyra to be Queen. Even after Rhaenyra ascends the throne, she will continue her Y/N quests. As long as Y/N lives, he will strive for the well-being of the people of Westeros and the Royal family.

[drakaripykiros130ac]

RANT: How exactly are the writers biased towards Rhaenyra and the Blacks?

This has just got to stop. Greenies are embarrassing themselves.

On the one hand, they say that Rhaenyra is clearly sooooo bad (for who knows what reason. Disliking her as a person is not a good reason. I can give you a list to touch the floor of crimes committed by the greens this season. Rhaenyra has literally done nothing so far. That’s right, she really is a victim.)

On the other, they say that Rhaenyra is portrayed better by the writers on the show, and it is not fair (boo hoo).

Aha, so you admit that Rhaenyra is clearly better than the greens…you just don’t like the idea. Boo hoo.

So, which is it? Contradictory much?

I seriously believe that the people who support the greens have certain issues in relation to privileged people, such as Rhaenyra.

Guess what? Rhaenyra was born a Princess, she is privileged and that is not her fault. If you are jealous of her, that is your problem.

Getting away with things? What exactly has she gotten away with? Are we beating the same old horse concerning her first three children? Just stop, seriously. Let’s see what you would have done in her situation.

The greens, on the other hand, my God, they outright killed sooooo many people and they have irredeemable assholes in their group. Not to mention that the Hightowers have been plotting to steal the throne from the Targaryens since the beginning. And now I am supposed to feel sorry for usurpers? Did I miss something? They brought it on themselves.

Alicent Hightower, a bitch certain people love to portray as the Virgin Mary, is a hateful and jealous shrew because she is low-born and didn’t have privileges, like Rhaenyra did. Boo hoo! Life isn’t fair, sweetheart. If you want someone to blame, how about your power hungry, manipulative snake of a father? Are we all to start civil wars when we are married to old men who can’t give us an orgasm?

I would have sympathized with her, if she had acted a whole lot differently. She is a low-born young woman who was pushed and also seduced her way in the highest position of power for a woman at the time (queen consort). She should have been thanking the Gods for her undeserved luck. There were many better young women who didn’t have such good fortune. Yea, it was her father who forced her, bla bla bla. Fine. I’ll give her that.

But if I were in her position, I would have acted with dignity and been quiet as a mouse, not intent on causing trouble left and right. Because she doesn’t deserve what was given to her. She never did. She wasn’t a mouse. She decided to abuse her power, as if she has always been entitled to it. She wasn’t. As much as she wants, she will never be Rhaenyra. She spent all her time sticking her nose in Rhaenyra’s business when she should have been teaching her pride and joy not to rape servant girls and act his age. Rhaenyra’s children are just as much Targaryen by blood as the Hightower spawns, but unlike them, they are well-educated and show kindness. That’s because Rhaenyra didn’t give a damn about Alicent’s life and spent her valuable time caring for and educating her children.

So, by putting all cards on the table, this was never about honor and decency for Alicent. She wanted to stick it to Rhaenyra and take away her throne because she is jealous of her, for having love, for having solutions to her problems, for not being stuck in a position she can’t get out of, for having more freedom than her. She should just admit that this is what it’s all about. She was close to admitting it when she snapped and attacked Rhaenyra in episode 7 (showing her true colors).

Hatred and jealousy towards a former friend, whom she screwed over when she started seeing her father behind her back.

Male over female monarch on the Iron Throne is a tradition and followed due to precedent. It is not stipulated in any law!

By royal decree, Jaehaerys named Viserys his heir because the Lords wanted it. He wasn’t forced to listen to them. But he did, because he wanted to avoid upsetting them (the coward).

By royal decree, Viserys named Rhaenyra his heir. A King’s decree is law, even if it doesn’t correspond with tradition. Rhaenyra was set to inherit the throne. It is hers by royal decree. Period!

You know how the situation would have looked like in modern times? Picture this:

Your best friend, whom you have known your entire life, starts to secretly see your rich father behind your back after your mother passes away (I don’t give a damn that it wasn’t her decision. She chooses not to tell you.). Then, your father springs on you that he will marry her. After your father dies, your former-best friend and her gold-digging family take away your inheritance for themselves. Would you still be rooting for them?

Bottom line:

Stop whining about how the writers make Rhaenyra look good. The book is very subjective and inaccurate. GRRM himself said to pay attention to the show, not the book. The show indicates what parts of the book are false and which aren’t.

Also, need I remind you that the greens are given a pass on screen on all the crimes they committed up until now? You don’t see me whining about how unfair that is, because in the book they didn’t kill people “accidentally”.

This is GRRM’s story and he is involved in the production. If he decides that the Blacks are the anti-heroes and the Greens are the anti-villains, that’s just how it is, and no amount of your “critical thinking” is going to change that.

In case you haven’t noticed, GRRM does not treat usurpers too nicely. He wipes out their entire line, because that is a little something called justice.

1. Maegor

2. Aegon II

3. Robert Baratheon

That is exactly what is going to happen to Aegon Hightower and his mother will have a front row seat.

Alicent Hightower is a clear example that hatred and jealousy doesn’t get you far in this world. You need to mind your own damn business and if she and Otto would have done so (and not tried to usurp the throne from the rightful ruling House) they wouldn’t have had such horrific (and totally deserving) fates.

There are no good and bad sides here, sure. However:

The Blacks: anti-heroes

The Greens: anti-villains

So, who you root for is your business but stop trying to make it easier for yourself to root for someone you shouldn’t be rooting for by blaming the writers. It’s your decision. Live with it!

[d4t-webserial]

D4T: Page 5 (Lu POV)

go here for more info on d4t

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On one of the rare instances that Lu told Alice about his life he mentioned the school he was going to, to which she excitedly told him she lives in the same city. This is awful, no matter how much he’s become a man, part of him will always be that transbian who wants to uhaul after the first date (and even more so fall hopelessly in love with your friend who’ll never like you back ;-;). Even the moment after this information came about she suggested they hang out, he brushed it off with a simple “hehe maybe later” but knew he couldn’t resist for long, he was under no circumstance going to being to able to deny his only close friend (and an upsettingly pretty one too) the opportunity to hang. 

Looking up at his ceiling he thinks about how over it is, when they meet she’s gonna realize how lame he is, and even if she’s fine with that he’ll be completely unable to hide his infatuation with her (he’s surprised he was even able to so far), and then she’ll be grossed out and not want anything to do with him. Life is hell. After a lot of pestering he agreed to hangout, at first she wanted to do it at her house (which is horrifying! what if he was a murderer, or a rapist!) but he convinced her to instead hang at a small restaurant near where she lived. He unfortunately couldn’t get her to untell him her address, but what can you do? 

After around 15 minutes of waiting for her, Alice finally arrived. Lu, waiting for her outside asked… 

Lu: “do you always come this late?” 

Alice: “well i had to walk here”

she looks at him pointedly

Alice: “if you picked me up it would have been easier.”

he doesn’t make eye contact

Lu: “u-um yea i g-guess… i just,, it uh,, would’ve seemed a bit strange no?”

Alice: “whatever you say”

They walk in and order their food. Lu can’t help but notice that her outfit tho masc enough to throw off her parents, is still incredibly attractive (and also that it compliments… nothing, absolutely nothing,... he’s normal). She looks up at him with a small smirk as she drinks, her eyes are stunningly b- no no nonononono. Taking a deep breath in, Lu decides to engage in conversation, because tho he isn’t good at talking, it is something to keep his mind… where it needs to be. They talk about the food they had and what they liked or disliked about it, they talked about the things that they usually do, friendship, hobbies, life and so on. And in that Lu had a brilliant idea.

Lu: “so have you been talking to any guys”

she picks at her napkins

Alice: “...umm there’s one i’m kinda talking to”

(jackpot)

Lu: “that’s sick! are you into him?”

she sits more upright and looks intently at her food

Alice: “ye, but it’s complicated…”

(fuck)

Lu: “how so?”

.

.

.

Alice: “i don’t think i wanna talk about this, with you”

Lu: “me?”

she goes wide eyed like she misspoke and quickly tries to correct herself

Alice: “or like, right now”

Alice: “right now i just wanna chill”

Lu: “o-oh o-o-of course, s-s-ssorry for uhh,, bringing it up”

Maybe his idea wasn’t so brilliant. He wanted to hear her talk about some guy she was obsessed with, so that his “supportive friend” drive would beat out his “god i love women” drive, but instead he touched on a sore spot… “with him” why him? did she still think he liked her (well he did but he thought was doing a good job hiding it), is it just like a guy thing, like this is something you talk about with the girlfriends not your dude friends? It was probably that. They sit in silent awkwardness for a while since he is completely unable to navigate social situations like this. Eventually the conversation picks up again, and it’s like nothing happened. After an hour or so hanging out Alice asks if he wanted to come hang at hers, he again insisted they didn’t know each other well enough but…

Alice: “cmon! we can even watch your stupid shows together!”

.

.

.

Lu: “f-ffine… for a bit…”

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[faces-ofvenus]

Hello can I request hc for Aegon with pride ful fem Lannister who’s older than him but not too much. They fell in love with each other but later on she cannot tolerate him whoring around and having many bastards so she trying to break up with him but he won’t let her go and lock her up in kinglanding and marry with her in the end or something. Hope this idea not creep you lol, have a good day :)

nothing really scares me, since I know those damn Targaryens are all damn yanderes.

You like all Lannisters can be highly ambitious, so when it came to the proposal to marry a Targaryen, and not just anyone as King Viserys's first male son, it wasn't hard to say yes. What always left her with a foot behind is that combined with her ambition comes her lion pride, to find a man who really respects her and sees her as unique, just as with the biggest flaws her father still treated her mother as the most beautiful Lannister in the world. So you were skeptical of your fiancé's libertine behavior.

Aegon and his family sometimes had small get-togethers whether you were at King's Landing or he was at Casterly Rock, but oh the lip he had on never really won her over, they were determined to hate each other, their custom ones didn't match, but maybe that's what Aegon tried to be attracted to you, you were as ambitious as a man, as brave as you were, you managed to put you in your rightful place, at the same time you managed to be kind and loved by all. And for a while that was good, you set your rules, you wouldn't stop him from falling into your drinking bouts, but I could never betray you, you wouldn't accept bastard children, no matter how little guilt they would have, it was hard, and Aegon even seemed to deal with a lot. okay with that. But on the eve of your wedding, you could play games, women coming out of your room more and more, the fact that all the flirting and approaching the different women, between women of high houses, even the lowest, and with that came the news that you wanted to break up your marriage.

Aegon went into maybe a little despair, he was in love at least that's what he felt, but when he drank it got into his blood, everything got cloudy and he did things, he tried everything to justify, justify his betrayals and relapses, but you were just as mean, not believing, not accepting your gifts, apologies and promises, none of that when your pride was hurt, it just made the young Targaryen angry.

But he would have what he wanted, you were his, as they promised on a date night, he talked to your mother, begged might be the right word, and Alicent honestly didn't care much for you, and your house could provide them with great economic support, so it was not difficult to convince your father to go ahead with the marriage, you could walk freely around the castle, but you could hardly escape, since he wouldn't even let you out through the gates, Aegon said it was for your protection, but you knew that no, until your wedding day he always really tried to convince you, since marrying you wasn't enough, he wanted you all back, which would hardly happen with his ego and pride hurt, but in which he was willing, the reality is, was he willing to give up his single life? For the wedding took place, and you felt more trapped than ever, a lion in a prison of dragons, either you escape and die or you join them.

[kingcunny]

🔥 i need to know more about your alicent

absolutely! :)

women in westeros, specifically women and girls of high ranking houses do not own themselves, they are extensions of their house. their fathers political opportunities. otto is a very ambitious man and has groomed alicent into this exact role. she is an extension of house hightower, an extension of her father. she is his opportunity to rise through the ranks. and she envelops this role wholly. alicent is ambitious in her own right, but how much of that is herself and how much of that is otto? not even she could begin to separate those ideas.

so when otto suggests she marries the king. she jumps at the opportunity. maybe even sees it as a chance to finally gain some power for herself, to finally be out from under ottos control. to outrank him, in some way. even if she cant articulate that thought to even herself. or the desire behind it.

alicent was young when she came to court, viserys is 10 years older than her. she probably views him as another sort of father figure. projects her ideas of otto onto him. which helps, in a way. shes been her fathers pseudowife for so long, whats the difference in becoming this pseudofathers actual wife?

but she is still that culmination of all the grooming she was raised with. alicent wants power but does not believe she is capable of gaining that herself, she must find it through the men around her, her marriage, her children. thats how women gain power. so she marries the king, she gives him sons. her son will grow up to be king, and she will rule through him. THAT is how she will gain her power. and fulfill her duty to her father and house.

except then viserys fucks it all up. ruins her plans. even after giving him multiple sons, he refuses to fulfill his side of the unspoken pact and make them his heir. he does away with the rules and traditions that everyone has been following for hundreds of years, the traditions that got HIMSELF elected king. he keeps supporting rhaenyra as his heir. he refuses to even marry his daughter to her son. shes given him the one thing hes (supposedly) wanted all this time, the thing he killed his first wife trying to get. why wont he give her what she wants?

i think thats when all the projection and delusions of their marriage come crashing down. viserys isnt otto. he doesnt love her, he doesnt love their children. he has just been using her as a salve for his own fears of death. their marriage, their children, everything has been nothing but a plan B to him. a ‘just in case’ something happens to his preferred child, his chosen heir. all the years shes given him, all the pain shes put herself through for his benefit, is for nothing. she will gain nothing out of it. she will fail in her own goals and her duty to her family.

(to be fair, alicent also never loved viserys. not really. she was also using him for his position as king to try and get what she wants. but, from alicents pov, she does not owe him love. thats not part of her duty to her husband. her duty is to give him sons. in return for that however, he should at the very least love her and the children she gives him. see them as more than just spares.)

and, of course, alicent is ottos daughter. your children are extensions of yourself before they are their own people. they are your pawns to increase your standing. if they cant further your own goals then what good are they? if alicent fails its because her children have failed her. and now all they are are reminders of that failure, of time that couldve been better spent elsewhere. cause now shes stuck with them. and viserys.

but alicent cant take her anger out on viserys, hes still her husband and king, (and father in a way. just because you become aware of a delusion, doesnt mean it stops having control over you) so instead she takes it out on what she sees as the cause of all these problems - rhaenyra. viserys spoiled little daughter. his One True Love. the woman he would throw everyone else under a bus for.

this is why alicent suddenly turns on rhaenyra after they had been pretty close beforehand. theres not an actual date listed of when alicents mother dies, but i like thinking it happened before they all came to court. alicent knows how hard and lonely it is being a young girl without a mother, how dangerous it is being a young girl at court. and rhaenyras father is negligent and indulgent and distracted, in alicents eyes, wholly unfitted to be a father. so she reaches out to rhaenyra, to be that mother figure for her. to took after her and raise her. (and if she just happens to catch the kings attention at the same time. well two birds one stone.)

[daerklina]

the story of house of the dragon will never be about both teams being wrong. This will always be about patriarchy judging women by their genitals, denying women’s rights to rule, Dance of the Dragons is about the greens who stole the crown from rightful heir aka Rhaenyra because she doesn’t have a dick.

team green is the most deranged team and hightowers are the most deranged family in westeros. I mean…on their side we have a r@pist and usurper, a grown ass kinslayer having beef with 14 years old Lucerys, weirdo who’s personality is all around blood and cheese (sorry not sorry but it is the truth), hysterical religious fanatic and her father. They’re not as united as the Blacks and they would never be a good ruler, a r@pist who usurped the throne would be a death sentence to all women despite the fact hotd is already settled in middle ages and women’s position in society is so bad.

And Rhaenyra is the one who could bring stability to the realm and would improve the laws and would give more rights to women.

1) Alicent, on the contrary was always a person that thought women has some obligations, she always thought that using her religion to judge people is okay, she even forced Rhaenyra to pray once (it was shown in a tv series), removed all Targaryen banners from the palace in KL and put that damn star of the seven

this religion in question:

(also allows IN A LAW to beat women)

when Rhaenyra said that she’d rather serve as a knight she only laughed at it, like…gurl that’s ur friend, don’t you want to support her a little bit, no?

2) terrible slutshaming

at first otto stalked Rhaenyra, told that to viserys, of course with only goal — disinheritance of Rhaenyra so his shitball grandsons would be the new heirs. Then alicent yelled at her and actually forced Nyra to swear by the memory of her mother Aemma that Daemon never touched her, called her “spoiled” which is one of the most famous patriarchal terms to control women to make them a broodmares and sell them into a marriage. And people blaming her for lying to their beloved woman for trump are as disgusting as greens themselves.

Nyra was bullied and harassed for YEARS until she left with Daemon and her kids to dragonstone. greenies knew perfectly well that she had no one to protect her, Harwin couldn’t do that for obvious reasons, Daemon was in exile, Laenor was with Qarl + he also wouldn’t stand against queen and a hand of the king, Viserys was in no condition (that man’s flesh was literally ROTTING off his bones)

3) a egon? I have nothing really to say about him, he’s a r*pist and a child abuser who forced his own bastards in a child fight club just to entertain himself

4) aemond.

A grown ass man with a largest dragon beefing with a little kid with a small dragon.

And all of this over an eye, that Lucerys took from him and it wasn’t even his fault. aemond attacked Baela and Rhaena in the most violent way, threatened to kill Rhaenyra’s kids, insulted them, choked them, beaten them.

Luke should’ve taken both of his eyes in fact🤭

5) Daeron? who? does he even exist?

6) greens pretend too much that they’re morally superior but the most vile things that were made during the Dance were made by the greens. Alicent didn’t raise her kids at all and neither otto did. Of course it Viserys’ fault too but most of the time their kids were growing he was ill. aegon and aemond became fucking savages, not Luke and Jace as alicent told (over pig joke that was made by aegon btw). The only morally wrong thing the Blacks did was blood and cheese but still it was a revenge for Luke’s death and greens completely deserved it.

I hate green stans acting like a morally superior people, blaming Daemon for all sins when he only tried to protect his family and marry the woman he loved.

[travllingbunny]

They really cut Lady Stoneheart out of GOT. What if they do the same with Alys River? 😣

"They" were Benioff and Weiss. Who, fortunately, have nothing to do with House of the Dragon.

Ryan Condal is a huge fan of the books and makes everyone on the staff read both ASOAIF and F&B if they haven't (the opposite of what D&D were doing) and so far we have seen evidence that HotD isn't cutting any characters of note. (Even Ryam Redwyne was there.(

Aside from that, Alys was never in danger of being cut. She is 1) Aemond's love interest, 2) the main person he interacts throughout his Riverland arc and the only one he interacts throughout it (the only other notable character he would have interactions with is Criston Cole, and it can't all be about their dynamic - and then they part, too), 3) their relationship is one of the most interesting things about Aemond in the books and the only thing that can make him likable once he is in the Riverlands, and without it he gets no character development, 4) very interesting in her own right and a character who brings new perspectives as a lowborn bastard wet nurse, Old Gods worshipper, someone connected to Old Gods/weirdwood/Harrenhla/Isle of Faces magic, and 5) has her own storyline after his death, as a widow/Witch Queen ruling Harrenhal and defying the new regime during the regency.

The only way you could cut her would be if Aemond was made to be a side character once he goes to the Riverlands, or if the showrunners hated Aemond so much and wanted him to be a one-dimensional villain so they wanted to remove any romance he has and anything that might make him sympathetic. (Or maybe those imaginary showrunners would've rewritten Alys as someone he rapes after taking the castle and that would be it.) Or they would have to be completely disinterested in telling women's stories. I think there's no need to point out that this is definitely not the case with HotD.

She wouldn't even be cut if D&D were in charge. But they would, no doubt, take the most sexist possible interpretations of her, take every misogynistic rumor about her from Fire & Blood as accurate (they would completely miss the irony) and make her something like show!Melisandre 2.0 only worse. Also not something I think I should be at all afraid of with HotD, based on what they've done so far with the female characters and the things they have said about the portrayal of women in Fire & Blood.

The "Alys Rivers will be cut" speculation seems to be simply wishful thinking from people who ship fanon incest ships, got into them so much that they are starting to forget they are not canon, and were upset to learn about Aemond's canon love interest from the book. With possibly some support from the folks who are really upset that Alicent does, after all, have a confirmed living grandchild at the end of Fire & Blood, which doesn't fit with the "ha ha her bloodline is dead and this is what makes our side superior" narrative.

I doubt that any of them really believe it, because that would require believing that Condal and the rest of the writing staff are genuinely into the idea of Targaryen blood purity and are trying to promote it by eliminating every non-incestuous romantic relationship from the book, and that they value that over good and compelling TV. If they believe it really... they need a dose of reality. Maybe they think the showrunners will try to fanservice them, but they forget that the general viewership is not the same as the "blood purity" incest-obsessed Targ stans on Twitter.

[therealvinelle]

I've always wondered this, but what do you think the Cullen's political viewpoints would be, given their individual backgrounds? if vampires don't change after they turn, then surely they would all be extremely racist (especially Jasper). would this not come up at some point? they aren't like the Volturi because the Volturi are too old to care, but the Cullens are young enough that they have been brought up with opinions on stuff like sexism, racism, homophobia and the like.

Oh fuck.

You get an early answer because otherwise I'll just chicken out and delete this one, pretend I never saw it.

UMMM.

Since I'm guessing you meant American political viewpoints, we need a disclaimer. I am not American, and not too knowledgeable about your politics. Not just in the sense that I don't follow the day-to-day drama, but as I am not an American citizen there are several things I don't know, can't know because I've never lived in your country and therefore can't know what the effects of living in a country ruled by American policies is like. What I do know is based off of the news in the foreign section, social media (by which I mean tumblr posts), and Trevor Noah's Daily Show.

I am an outsider looking in.

Which is really rather appropriate, since the Cullens are too.

The Cullens go to high school and college, Carlisle works, they pay taxes, they own real estate, and submerge themselves in American culture. Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella are young enough that this is in many ways their world, and apart from timeouts they've more or less spent their entire lives, human and vampire, integrated into American society.

Not fully integrated, mind you, they do what they need to to fit in and get to school or, in Carlisle’s case, to work. They go no further. No extra-curriculars for the kids, no book clubs for Esme, no game nights for Carlisle. They walk parallel to humans, not among us.

In addition to this they're obscenely rich, which puts them another thousand miles from the experiences of your average American. They won't deal with the health system, which means healthcare is a non-issue, they're not going to need welfare or other social programs, unemployment is another non-issue. Name your issue, and the Cullens don't have personal stake in it. Even the climate crisis won't be a problem for them the way it will for us.

What I'm trying to say is, American political issues are a concept to them, not a lived reality. Just like they are for me. So hey, you made a great choice of blog to ask.

I'll also add here that you say the Volturi are too old to care, and I agree- from an ancient's point of view, racism is a matter of "which ethnicity are we hating today?", and it all looks rather arbitrary after a while. Same with every other issue - after a while it all just blends together into "what are the humans fighting over today? Which Christian denomination is the correct one? Huh. Good for them, I guess."

I can't put it any better than this post did, really. The Volturi are real people, humans are nerds and tumblr having Loki discourse. Aro thinks it's delightful and knows entirely too much about Watergate (and let's be real, Loki discourse as well), but the point I wanted to get at is that politics really don't matter to vampires.

And I don't think they matter to the Cullens either.

So, moving on to the next point while regretting I didn't put headlines in this post, I'll just state that I don't think vampires' minds are frozen. Their brains are unable to develop further, and they can never forget anything, but... well, this isn't the post for that, but in order for this to be true of vampires they would barely be sentient. They would not be able to process new impressions, to learn new things, nor to have an independent thought process. Yes, we see vampires in-universe (namely, Edward, who romanticizes himself and vampires) believe they're frozen and can never change, but there is no indication that this is a widespread belief, or even true. Quite the contrary - Carlisle went from a preacher's son who wanted to burn all the demons to living in Demon Capital for decades and then becoming a doctor and making a whole family of demons. Clearly, the guy has had a change in attitude over the years. Jasper, in his years as a newborn army general, slowly grew disenchanted with his life and developed depression. James initially meant to kill Victoria and hunted her across the earth, then became fascinated and changed his mind about it.

Had these people been incapable of change, Carlisle would still be hating demons, Jasper would be in Maria's army, and James would still be hunting Victoria.

It goes to follow, then, that they are able to adapt to new things.

The question is, would they?

Here I finally answer your question.

So, we have these people who don't really have any kind of stake in politics, who keep up to date all the same (or are forcibly kept up to date because high school) and are generally opinionated people.

Where do they then fall, politically?

(And this is where you might want to stop reading, anon, because I'm about to eviscerate these people.)

Alice votes for whoever's gonna win. She also makes a fortune off of betting each election. Trump's 1 to 10 victory in 2016 was a great day to be Alice. MAGA!

The actual policies involved are completely irrelevant, she does this because it's fun. Election means she gets to throw parties. Color coded parties for the Republican and Democratic primaries, and US-themed parties for Election Night! (Foreigner moment right here: I at first wrote "Election wake" before realizing that's not what y'all murricans call it.)

Alice loves politics. Doesn't know the issues, but she sure loves politics.

Bella votes Democrat. She actually knows about the issues, and cares about them. This girl is a Democrat through and through.

Carlisle doesn't vote. I can't imagine it feels right. Outside of faked papers he's not a US citizen, this is meddling in human affairs that he knows don't concern him.

More, this guy has never lived in a democracy.

In life, Carlisle lived under an absolute monarchy that, upon civil war, became an absolute theocracy. From there he learned that vampires live under a total dictatorship.

For the first 150 years of his life, democracy was that funky thing the Athenians did in history books thousands of years ago, no more relevant to him than the Ancient Egyptian monarchy is to me. Then the Americans, and later other European countries started doing this.

Good for them.

There's this mistake often made by those who view history from a... for lack of a better term, a solipsistic standpoint. A belief that the present day is the culmination of all of history. “My society is the best society, the most reasonable society; all the others had it backwards. Thank god we’re living in this enlightened age!”

The faith in our current system of government is one such belief. We (pardon me if this doesn’t apply to everybody reading this post) have grown up in democracies, being told this is the ultimate form of rule, and perhaps that is true - but remember the kings who have told their subjects they had were divine and the best possible ruler based on that. Remember also that most modern democracies haven’t actually been democracies for very long at all, America is the longest standing at some 230 years (not long at all in the grand scope of things) and they have a fracturing two-party system to show for it.

Every society, ever, has been told they’re the greatest, and their system of government the most just. Democracy is only the latest hit.

This is relevant to Carlisle because he’s immortal and decidedly not modern. Democracy has not been installed in him the way it was the rest of the Cullens, Jasper included. To him- well, it’s just not his world. He has no stakes in our human politics, and as he is older than every current democracy and has seen quite a few of them fall, he’s not going to internalize the democratic form of rule the way a modern human has.

I think the concept of voting is foreign to him.

It requires a level of participation in human society that he’s simply not at. He does the bare minimum to appear human so he do the work he loves, but nothing more, and I find that telling.

As it is I think he'd be iffy about his family doing it. He won’t stop them, but in voting they’re... well it’s kind of cheating. They’re not really citizens, none of this will affect them, and by voting they’re drowning out the votes of real human voters. He does not approve.

Edward votes Democrat. He's... well he’s the kind of guy who will oil a girl’s bedroom window so he can more easily watch her sleep without being discovered, justifying it to himself as being okay because if she were to tell him to get lost he’d stop immediately. Same guy is so sure that he’d leave and never return again if she wanted him to, except this is the man who returned to Forks to hang around his singer, knowing there was a significant chance he might kill her. To say nothing of his Madonna/Whore complex, or of the fact that he tried to pimp out his wife twice, and was willing to forcibly abort her child.

This guy is very much in love with chivalry, with being an enlightened and feminist man who supports and respects women, while not understanding the entire point of feminism, which is female liberation.

He votes Democrat because he’s such an enlightened feminist who cares about women’s rights.

Emmett doesn’t care to vote, but if he has to he votes Republican. The guy is from the 1930′s, and has major would-be-the-uncle-who-cracks-racist-jokes-if-he-was-older vibes.

Esme doesn’t vote, that would require getting out of the house.

More, I just... can’t see it. I can’t see her being one to read up on politics and The Issues, period, but if she has to then I doubt she’d be able to decide.

Jasper doesn’t vote. Alice can have her fun, he does not care.

There’s also the whole can of worms regarding the last time he went to bat for American politics.

I imagine he stays out of this.

Renesmée doesn't vote. She has no stock in the human affairs. Who would she vote for, on what grounds? When Bella tries to pull her to the urns, she points out that she's three years old.

Rosalie, guys, I’m sorry, but that girl is definitely gonna vote Republican. Perhaps not right now as it’s become the Trump party of insanity, but the Mitt Romney type of Republicans? Oh yes.

And for the record, yes I imagine she does vote. To step back from politics would be another way she was relinquishing her humanity, and that’s not allowed to happen. So, yes, she goes to the urns, less for the sake of the politics involved and more because like this, she’s still a part of society in some way.

Now, onto why I think she’s Republican, I think it’s both fiscal and social.

This girl was the daughter of a banker who somehow profited off of the Depression, and who then became part of a family with no material needs that would soon become billionaires thanks to Alice. Poverty to Rosalie is a non-issue, as it is I imagine she views it as a much lesser issue than what she’s had to deal with. The humans can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, Rosalie’s infertility is forever.

Rosalie’s empathy is strongest when she’s able to project onto others, and she won’t be able to project onto the less fortunate at all.

Then there’s the fact that the Republican party is all about traditional family values, and pro-life.

Rosalie, a woman from the 1930′s who idolizes her human life and who‘d love nothing more than to get to live out this fantasy, is down for that. And as of Breaking Dawn she’s vocally pro-life, so there’s that.

This all being said I don’t think Rosalie cares to sit down and fully understand these politics she’s voting for, the possible impact they’ll have- that’s not important. What’s important is what voting does for her.

TL;DR: I bet anon regrets asking.

[wallwriterstuff]

When You’re Lost, I’ll Leave My Gaslight On ||Yandere!Alec Volturi x Female Reader||

A request by @tiger-khans-blog Part 1: Obsession  Part 3: These Violent Delights 

Warnings: Yandere!Alec, obsessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships and implied non-con later on. This is possibly one of the darkest fics I have ever written so please be aware if controlling behaviour, gaslighting etc. is triggering to you, do not read this fic. 

The following link will take you to a Citizen’s Advice Page that have resources regarding Domestic abuse and violence. They detail various organisations offering support, refuge and advice for both women and men in abusive situations, however these only apply to the UK.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/gender-violence/domestic-violence-and-abuse-getting-help/

I am from the UK and therefore am not sure about what resources may be available internationally, however I know many of you are from places outwith the UK. If you have any resources you know of that would be useful or helpful to add here then please do! You can reblog this post with link in or message me a link to have me edit it into the original. I will post this link and any that get added in all three parts of this fic that I post.

Words: 4,436 

Summary:  Alec’s actions earned him some time in the dungeons of Volterra, and he really seems to be trying his best to behave himself the second time around. However, as your relationship with him blossoms, you find yourself growing more and more insecure, unsure if things are really as they seem to be. Your descent into madness seems much slower than Alice’s fall down the rabbit hole. 

Bella didn’t even write to you. Nor did Alice or Edward, or Emmet or Jasper. Only Carlisle had bothered to contact you, expressing his deepest regret you had gotten tangled up in all of this and his promise to speak to Aro on your behalf. Carlisle’s efforts had granted you your own quarters on the opposite side of the castle, smaller and far less grand than the ones you had woken up in but entirely yours to decorate how you pleased; at least, that was what Felix and Demetri had decided. The silence from back home was bad enough but on top of that you had to come to terms with the fact you were now forced to live with vampires who had little to no respect for human life, one of which had a mental gift she had loved to use on you as punishment for turning her brother against her as she put it.

To say you were depressed would have been an understatement.

It felt beyond impossible to consider feeling anything remotely positive when nothing seemed to go right for you. The secretaries who brought you food were the only interaction you had for the first few days and they were mostly too afraid to stick around and talk to you after hearing you were Alec’s mate. You had been utterly and entirely alone. Unbeknownst to you, this was a test, one you failed miserably, and after they hadn’t seen hide nor hair of you by day 4 of your stay with them Felix and Demetri had taken it upon themselves to visit you. They were quite patient, letting you stay as far from them as you wanted while they invaded what had become your safe space, those unblinking red eyes taking in the sparse walls and boring, plain wood desk and doors. It was then that Felix had spoken up about decorating and Demetri has enthusiastically agreed this was a wonderful idea.

Felix, it turned out, was quite the talented artist. Looking at the brute you’d never imagined he could hold a pencil without snapping it in half, but he had drawn up the most beautiful sketches you could imagine as you told them what your bedroom back home had looked like, and how you had wanted to decorate it with your father. They had let you cry again at that point and looking back on it it was rather amusing to watch the two immortals – who physically had lacked the ability to tear up for over a millennia now – share a panic stricken look and throw tissues at you. By the end of the week, they had come back to your room with everything they would need for their DIY project and helped you start painting your room. You had been a little overwhelmed at their kindness, but both had waved it off as nothing and whenever they got the chance over the next week, they had helped you decorate.

You had shared music tastes, let Demetri try to interest you in poetry (even if he had failed dramatically) and even sat to watch a movie with them once while you had lunch. Still, it didn’t feel like home, just an escape from an abysmal reality.

“You know, he will be freed tomorrow.” Felix said quietly. You were in the middle of stringing up some fairy lights around the canopy of your bed when the news rendered you immobile. You barely remembered to breathe until Demetri very gently touched your waist and helped you down from your bed before you fell.

“I don’t want him to be.” You whispered, eyes ducking away from theirs. Alec had been their friend for far longer after all and the confession was cruel. Demetri sighed slightly.

“We have visited him once or twice, spoken to him. He truly does feel awful about what happened.” He promised you. It was very obvious on your face you didn’t believe him, and even if you did you were certain Alec’s behaviour was not normal, it didn’t eradicate your fear to know he wished it never happened when it seemed like he had had no control over it in the first place. If he couldn’t control it, it could very well happen again. Felix watched you carefully as you sat back against the headboard, curling your knees to your chest.

“Why…why was he like that? Is it – I mean could he…will he be like that again?” you swallowed, mouth a little dry as your heart fluttered in your chest. You felt sick, suddenly no longer curious about whatever dinner the new secretary might bring. Gianna had stopped showing up two days ago and you didn’t need to ask to know why. They shared a side long look, Felix going back to putting together the bookshelf you had repainted with him. It was a bit of a pattern, that Demetri handled your more sensitive questions – Felix just didn’t have the tact or patience for them.

“You remember our discussion on the transformation process? How we are frozen at the stage of growth we are at when we turn?” he questioned, waiting for you to nod before continuing, “Alec was turned no older than you are now, just 16, you know yourself from growing up I’m sure what a volatile time that can be. It is not that Alec wishes to scare you, just that the violence of his feelings is something he will have to learn to control.”

“The violence of his feelings?” you asked warily. Demetri hummed, head tilting.

“We feel emotion far more intensely than you, little human. Our bodies are frozen but heightened, so that we might experience everything to the fullest extent and therefore miss out on nothing. Alec is essentially a teenager seeing the girl he has a rather potent crush on for the first time, the mate pull was both entirely unexpected and strong. He admitted himself he had no way of controlling his own actions but he has meditated and spoken to master Marcus for help since. He really does not wish to put you through that again.” Demetri assured you.

“You have to give the boy some reprieve, he wasn’t exactly having fun either. Alec prides himself on his self-control, your appearance tossed it right out of the window.” Felix pointed out. You hung your head, brows furrowed. It sounded an awful lot to you like they were defending the inexcusable behaviour. He’s just a boy, he couldn’t control it, it’s not his fault…well, it didn’t change the fact it had hurt you. It had traumatised you really, so much so that even when you replayed Demetri’s words in your head in an effort to help calm yourself you still found no sleep that night knowing Alec would be at your door tomorrow.

Except he wasn’t.

He didn’t come the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that, and you hated that you were beginning to wonder if he was ever coming at all. Was this a new, peculiar kind of torture? Making you wait for him? Every knock at the door made you jump the first day or two but after that you slowly began to unwind, your heavy heart coming to the conclusion he maybe wasn’t coming back, that he felt it better to stay away from you. You almost passed out when he finally did show up at your door, standing behind Demetri as still as stone and looking jut as perfect as any sculpture could. It really wasn’t fair the boy was so pretty. Demetri gave you a warm smile.

“Good evening Y/N, do you mind if we come in little human?” he asked. You hesitated. Did you want Alec in your safe space? Your room was your sanctuary, decorated how you liked with no trace of Alec inside it as of yet. He seemed to notice your hesitation and you were surprised to see just how much anguish it brought him.

“If you prefer, we could take a walk around the Gardens? Demetri says you haven’t left your room much.” Alec said. His voice was softer now, no longer did it have the rough edge to it it had held in the throne room. You swallowed thickly, slowly nodding your head, and moved to get your shoes from by the door. Alec inhaled sharply as the shirt you were wearing rode up slightly. His arms had left to sizable bruises on your torso and he had obviously seen them. You weren’t expecting him to look so torn up about it. Demetri glanced between you both, his eyes knowing.

“I would suggest a jumper, the evenings can be somewhat chillier.” He advised. You nodded, crossing to your closet. Once you were ready, you shut the door firmly behind you and stuck close to Demetri’s side, much to Alec’s obvious ire, but the boy kept himself in check with remarkable discipline that gave you hope he could maybe be better.

“How are you?” he asked, his voice strained. Your hair fell, covering your eyes until you pushed it back with a quick nod.

“I’m okay. How are you?” the small talk was entirely forced and thoroughly unpleasant, but Demetri stood firm between you two, absorbing it all. You were more than a little grateful.

“I have…been better,” Alec confessed, “Demetri explained the…difficulty, I’m having in being around you?” he asked. The strain in his voice was growing more obvious again now but one look from Demetri forced him to settle as you shuddered, memory flashing to the violent grip his arms had on you. If he noticed your hand subconsciously go to your bruised flesh, he didn’t comment on it.

“He told me you couldn’t control your feelings.” You said quietly. Alec huffed, eyes flashing with irritation.

“It’s as upsetting to me as it is to you, to think a mere human would make me so…so…” he trailed off, trying to choose the right word. You prompted him, curious to see what he would choose. “Obsessed.” He settled for the word with such a flat tone you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around yourself, mind reeling. It wasn’t a good word. It wasn’t your preferred word. Carlisle and Esme had been mates, hadn’t they? Rosalie and Emmett? Alice and Jasper? They had proven to you if nothing else that mates should be loving, kind. It was a relationship based on mutual attraction and desire, caring, not one person’s obsession with another. It was an unhealthy word.

“Why don’t you tell Alec of our trip to the market the other week?” Demetri hedged. He was clearly acting as chaperone today as you headed out into the fading sunlight. The Gardens of Castello Volterra were magnificent, kept tidy and neat and bursting with colour. A massive expanse of green dotted with vibrant hues of flowerbeds and glorious leafy sculptures in shapes you could recognise. Horses, chess pieces. Your answers were short, quiet, and Alec seemed to have moments he was incredibly open and vulnerable before he became a little more robotic, his control slipping when he found his emotions getting the best of him again. The amount of effort he put into his composure really astounded you, and by the time you were half-way around the Walled Garden you were actually starting to feel a little bit bad. Clearly your presence really did make him suffer.

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” He admitted finally, fists clenched at his sides. With a sharp exhale, Alec turned to you, ruby red eyes darkening as soon as they made contact with your own Y/E/C.

“Alec-“

“Y/N, I have tortured myself over the way I behaved towards you. I am truly sorry I ever laid a hand on you. I hope that as I work on controlling myself around you, you work on being able to forgive me for that.” Alec cut Demetri off, his body rigid with tension and eyes flickering to the very slight gap left between you and the tracker as you moved closer out of instinct to the person you trusted most out of the two of them. His nostrils flared, seemingly annoyed by it.

“I…can try. But you need to promise me Alec, promise me you won’t hurt me like that ever again.” You said. Truthfully you were intrigued by him. Demetri had told you you would also feel the mate pull eventually, though not as strongly as Alec did, and your curiosity to know more about the witch twin was the start of a very deep dark hole you were about to fall into. The air turned almost ominous, like that strange moment between hearing thunder and waiting to see if there would be lightning.

“I won’t make you promises I can’t keep.” Alec’s voice was all that was left of him, as he was gone by the time you blinked again. Demetri sighed slightly, though he tried to perk up his expression when he realised you were looking helplessly to him for answers.

“Well, that went rather well, do you not agree?” he asked. What had Alec meant? He had done so well today. Clearly he was getting the hang of controlling his emotions, he could be less of a threat. You had rather liked the sweeter side of Alec you had glimpsed today, the side that told you about how Jane had planted the peonies and had chased Felix quite literally out of the city when he accidentally trampled on them once, just to hear you laugh. You liked the side of Alec that had quietly complimented the way your hair reflected the dying light while you stood and admired another topiary.

A month passed this way before you finally felt comfortable enough to be around Alec on your own. He had really tried hard to become a better man for you and it showed. His smiles were more natural and he found it easier to relax in your presence, no more uptight Alec that left you wandering when he would snap. Felix and Demetri had continued to chaperone your dates for all that time until you finally asked one night if you might be allowed to be with Alec on your own for a little bit. Demetri had enthusiastically agreed, both Guards seemingly happy you were finally letting their friend have his chance. Alec seemed to sense your nerves when you appeared in the library, where you’d both agreed to meet for an hour to two to test the waters. He was more relaxed than you’d ever seen him, leaning back against the sofa with his eyes closed while he listened to some far-off birdsong you couldn’t hear, or so you imagined.

“I wasn’t sure you would come.” He admitted. You smiled slightly, pulling your sketchbook from your bag as you sat on the opposite sofa to him.

“I said I would,” You reminded him. Alec smiled slightly, head bobbing in agreement. “What are you reading?” you asked. Alec glanced to the book beside him.

“The Picture of Dorian Gray, though I confess myself bored of it. Wilde has never been my preferred author.” Alec answered, sitting up and eyeing your sketchbook with interest. You didn’t notice, too busy flipping through your pages to find the sketch you were working on now. The lines were already drawn, you had just wanted to finish your shading today.

“How is Jane?” you asked. You wanted to chase away the silence and figured it would be a nice way to maybe broach the topic that she had avoided you like the plague. Alec didn’t answer you and when you looked up to see why you saw his eyes fixated on your sketch, nothing but awe painting his face. You flushed a deep shade of red.

“Beautiful and talented, little human.” He breathed. You were fairly sure you weren’t supposed to hear, but it only made your blush darken. It was nothing worthy of a spot in the Louvre, just a sketch of the view from the fountain in the plaza looking down one of Volterra’s many alleyways. You tucked some hair behind your ear with a small smile.

“Thank you,” you said softly, “I started it the other day, when Demetri took me to that café I told you about? Where they do those really nice pastries?” As if a switch had been flipped Alec’s face shut off, all expression wiped away and an impassive mask replacing it. It had happened so fast you were unsure anything other than apathy had ever painted his face in the first place.

“Demetri takes you out often.” He noted. There was nothing his tone or his face to give away his feelings about that, but a strong sense of foreboding settled in your gut. You shut your sketchbook, knowing deep in your chest that the damage was already done. The atmosphere in the room had changed drastically, becoming charged and electric, like it was filled with current just waiting to frazzle and consume you whole.

“Yeah…it’s nice to get out of the castle, and it’s not like I’m a prison so why shouldn’t I see the city I’ve got to live in now?” you rambled ever so slightly, voice wavering a bit, but Alec’s expression changed so quickly you were sure he was trying to give you whiplash. With a laugh he nodded his head.

“Of course.” He made no further comment and you descended into silence again until it was time to leave, your sketchbook long abandoned and your eyes fixed on him, waiting for his mood to shift again. He was perfectly respectable in every other way however, his silence easy to brush off as nothing when he kissed your knuckles chivalrously after walking you back to your room. He still hadn’t set foot in it yet despite his obvious intrigue, waiting for you to invite him in personally. When the door closed behind you, you released a breath you didn’t know you had been holding. The whole evening had gone far better than expected even with the few minor road bumps. In fact, Alec’s mood seemed to do an entire 180 compared to how he had been when you first met. He was pleasant, charming even. That was where the problem started.

One night, he bought you flowers and a pastry from your favourite café, remembering the exact kind you liked and bringing it to your door so you could enjoy a walk with him in the Gardens once more, watching the stars come out. You’d passed Felix in the corridor and waved but the giant had hurried by as though he hadn’t seen you. A few days after that Alec had promised to take you out to the markets, but the weather had been too bright for him apparently even though you had argued it was overcast enough that the chances of him exposing himself were slim to none. He had come to your room with new sketching pencils that night, an apology gift to make it up to you, he said.

It had become a theme though, you noticed. Alec would promise to take you somewhere, and then he would find one way or another to weasel his way out of taking you out.

“I never promised you anything, I said we might, your imaging things.” He would dismiss it the same way every time and always follow up with a nice gesture that made you feel bad for questioning him on it. He really did feel guilty about you not getting to go out, didn’t he? It wasn’t just that though either, it was Demetri and Felix’s absence in your life that had grown concerning. You were conscious you hadn’t seen your friends for quite some time, Alec always claiming they were busy with guard duty or some other task, yet when you caught Demetri in the corridor once he had brushed you off with the enough regret in his eyes that it made you question Alec’s entire story.

“But they always found time to at least say hello to me before, so why-“

“Y/N, my love I don’t wish to upset you, but do you really think they were ever your friends?” Alec asked. You blinked, frowning in confusion.

“Of course they’re my friends! We decorated my room together and they helped us get to know each other. I just don’t get why they aren’t around anymore.” You huffed. Alec ran his hand down your arm gently, your skin tingling at the ice-cold contact. He had slowly started to incorporate physical affection into your relationship, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t thrilled with the little touches. It was a far cry from the rough embrace he had given you nearly two months ago.

“They were fulfilling a duty tesoro, you required a room and at the Masters request they built you one, and do you really think one little human can go unguarded in this place? They were your sentries, not your friends.” His expression was so sympathetic you wondered how you couldn’t not believe him, and he’d held you to him as you cried over their obvious betrayal. As weeks dragged into another month though your anxiety only grew, and it didn’t make sense. Things between you and Alec were really good. He had much more control now and he was affectionate and sweet, always giving you little gifts and making time in his day to see you even if no one else would, but something was just…wrong. You were sure you were going mad.

You wrote home frequently to the Cullen’s so they could pass letters on to Bella, but those letters sometimes went missing and despite being sure you wrote them, Alec assured you you hadn’t and he had never seen them materialise. As sweet as he was Alec always put down your clumsy little accidents to you being human to, laughing when you tripped into his arms or holding his breath as he cleaned up scrapes for you with that dreaded little saying of his.

“You’re only human Y/N.” he chuckled, as he carefully placed a band aid around the finger you had accidentally cut while cooking yourself dinner. You sighed dejectedly.

“I wish you’d stop saying that.” You admitted. It felt like you weren’t good enough. Your human needs were a bother to him, that much was clear. He always had to take time to make sure you had something to eat when he really just wanted to spend his free hours with you. Most of the time when he was free you were asleep and you could only imagine how boring it must be for him to have to spend so much time alone when you were across the castle, sleeping peacefully. Bathroom breaks were another thing that gave you almost nauseating anxiety now to, and you’d scrubbed your body pink on multiple occasions wondering if your personal hygiene was assaulting his nose or not after a day or two without showering.

You needed to clear your head, you decided, so a trip to your café was in order. Alec wouldn’t be able to take you you knew, not with the sun as bright as it was right then. It would fade quickly given the late time of year but you left a note just in case Alec wondered across your empty room. It felt good, to get fresh air and to sit in a window seat, watching the world go by without a care as sweet pastry melted in your mouth. You had brought a book with you to enjoy to, a fantasy world to escape to for a little bit before your old anxieties came crawling back in. Though your relationship with Alec was as yet undefined, you felt like you were to blame for that due to your inferior status. After all, what could you possible bring to a relationship with him that would make him want to call you his mate? You were only human after all.

“Now what are you doing here little human?” Demetri’s voice startled you so much you dropped your book to the tabletop with a gasp. Heart fluttering, you couldn’t help but laugh breathless, if only to ease the tension.

“Demetri, god you scared the hell out of me.” You swallowed, not liking the way he was frowning at you.

“Well you can consider us even then.” He said, arms folding across his chest. You felt a lot like you were a child being scolded in that moment.

“What?” you asked.

“You heard me. You cannot just leave the castle Y/N, not without telling someone or at least leaving a note. There was an uproar when Alec found you gone, we thought something had happened to you.” He chided. Your frown deepened.

“But I did leave a note, I taped it to my door so Alec would see.” You protested. Demetri’s eyebrows rose.

“Not according to Alec. He found no note and I did not see anything resembling one when I came to your room to see what the fuss was about. Come on, you have had your fun. A harmless misunderstanding it may be but you will be in for a scolding from the Masters.” he sighed, holding a hand to help you out of your chair. Your stomach twisted. You were going to have to see the Masters because you’d gone out for coffee? How had Alec missed your note? You were sure you had left it on the door for him! You remembered the schluuuuck sound of sticky tape and everything as you taped it up!

“But Demetri, I swear I left a note.” You said, packing away your things as your good mood crumbled. Demetri was quiet for a moment.

“Perhaps you did and it was overlooked, either way you have scared us all enough for one day.” He took your bag from you like the gentleman he was, escorting you back to the castle. You were so sure you had left that note for Alec, as sure as you were about your own name, but what if you hadn’t? You resolved to steel your nerves for now, take your scolding and ensure you left one next time. Hell, next time you would even tell the secretary to go and tell Alec in the throne room just to be safe. You weren’t going to worry your mate like this again, it wasn’t going to become a pattern.

How wrong you were.

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter ten

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

*

The knock at the door made Chloe jolt. 

Aubrey was here, and Chloe was a nervous wreck. Even if Aubrey had shown nothing but support in the texts they had exchanged over the last couple of months, Chloe was bracing herself for judgment. It had become her default setting over the last couple of years, to always expect people to think the worst of her. 

It turned out Aubrey couldn’t make it for dinner that weekend and instead offered lunch on the following Monday, so Beca was currently at work. Meeting her alone made Chloe even more nervous; Beca had become her rock, her lifeline over the past couple of months, and someone Chloe actually trusted, and she would have been more comfortable with her being present. 

She wiped her hands on her apron and padded to the door, sucking in one last deep breath before pulling it open.  Her friend looked the same as Chloe remembered her, except for her hairstyle, which evolved into a neat bob and matched the lawyer persona well.

“Hey Chlo,” Aubrey greeted softly, eyes soft and smile shy. 

“Hi,” Chloe breathed out when she remembered she should say something, blinking. 

Before Chloe could step aside, Aubrey stepped forward and pulled Chloe into a loose hug. Chloe’s first reaction was to tense for a brief moment, eventually wrapping her arms around Aubrey’s back, in turn, her shoulders relaxing as she exhaled. 

“Thanks for having me over,” Aubrey said as she backed away.

Chloe nodded with a small smile and took a step back to let Aubrey through. “Come on in. I uh-- I made chicken pasta. Do you still like that?” 

Cooking had been one of the activities Chloe had rekindled with since finishing rehab. Following a recipe was a good distraction from her cravings. 

“I do. Sounds yummy.” 

“You-- you’ve been here before, I imagine?” Chloe asked as she shut and locked the door behind them, leading Aubrey to the main room.

Aubrey shrugged off her jacket. “A few times, yes. I think the last time was for Beca’s birthday last September.” 

Chloe nodded once more, then remembered her manners. “Can I offer you anything to drink?” She asked as she padded to the fridge. “We have water, flat or sparkling, coke and fanta.” 

“Sparkling water is good,” Aubrey said as she perched herself on a stool, resting her chin over her propped-up hand. “How’s it been living with Beca?” 

“Good,” Chloe replied as she reached for two water glasses in the cupboards, the water bottle in her other hand. “She’s been really amazing with trying to make me feel at home. It’s weird though because I can’t pay rent or groceries. I still feel like I’m taking advantage of her generosity.”

Aubrey hummed. “I get that. But you’re not. Beca wouldn’t offer all those things if she felt like you were taking advantage. And we all know you’re not. You’re getting back on your feet and could use all the help you can get, which I’m sure Beca is happy to give.” 

Chloe took a deep breath and nodded. She uncapped the bottle and poured some water into both drinks. 

“How have you been feeling otherwise?” Aubrey questioned then. 

Chloe shrugged, breaking eye-contact. “It’s been a real rollercoaster, to be honest. Somedays I feel fine, other days it feels like I’m drowning. If it weren’t for Beca’s support or--” The baby, which she had yet to tell Aubrey about. She swallowed, forcing herself to meet her friend’s gaze. “A few days before the end of rehab, I found out that I was pregnant.” 

Aubrey blinked twice in slow succession, much like Beca had done. “You are? I mean--” 

“I’m keeping it,” Chloe cleared up before Aubrey could attempt to reword her question. “I know it probably sounds crazy and irresponsible given my situation and who the father is, I--” 

“I think you’re going to make an amazing mom, Chlo,” Aubrey murmured before Chloe could finish. “And yes, your situation is tricky right now, but it won’t forever be that way. And the father might be a dick whose balls should be fed to wolves, but you and I both know that a  baby sharing your genes can’t be evil.” She tilted her head to the side. “Are you going to tell him?” 

Chloe froze. She hadn’t dared broach the subject with her therapist for fear of her telling a judge, and she didn’t know what she was allowed or not allowed to do. “Do I… have to? I mean, legally?”

Aubrey shook her head. “No, you don’t have any obligations to. The father’s name on the birth certificate can be left blank, and that means Marco will have no rights over the child.” 

Chloe nibbled on her bottom lip as she processed that information. “What if he finds out? Can he get custody?” 

“He’ll have to submit a petition to the court through a lawyer in order to have a DNA test done,” Aubrey explained. “After that, a judge decides if he has the right to have custody, but I really don’t see how he could, given his track record. I had a friend at the precinct look him up, and he’s been convicted several times for drug dealing and violence.” 

Relief swept over Chloe upon hearing that. The thought of Marco having any influence on that child gave her nightmares. “Okay. Good.” She cleared her throat when her brain caught up with the rest of Aubrey’s sentence. “I didn’t know he was a criminal.” But she wasn’t surprised, now. “I wouldn’t have-- he was really good to me at the beginning, and by the time his true personality surfaced, I had nowhere to go.” 

“He was toxic,” Aubrey said as she nodded. “A manipulator. He probably loved the hell out of you at first, bombarded you with sweet messages and calls and flattery? And little by little, the connection faded and you started to feel meaningless? Unworthy?” 

Chloe could only nod faintly, because Aubrey had just put into words what her relationship with Marco felt like, without Chloe telling her any of that stuff. 

“I come across so many people with the same profile in my job, and the victims, men or women, always blame themselves. But they shouldn’t. You shouldn’t.” 

Her therapist had already told Chloe that many times, but Chloe’s default thinking made it hard to grasp that. Being with Marco felt like chaos reigned in her head, her emotions, her body, her life, and he found a way to make her believe it was her own fault. 

Chloe mustered a soft smile, feeling more than ready to stop talking about that for now. “Should we eat?” 

The conversation thankfully transitioned to easier subjects. Chloe caught up on the last six years of Aubrey’s life, feeling a little lighter and more at ease around her friend now that it was clear Aubrey held no grudge or judgment towards Chloe for cutting her out of her life. They found themselves reminiscing about their college days, two hours zipping by without Chloe once thinking about her cravings. 

“I’m just a call away, alright?” Aubrey said as she slid her jacket back on. “And if you ever want to come to Boston for a weekend, I have two guest bedrooms.” 

A genuine smile spread across Chloe’s lips as she nodded. “I’d love that.” Chloe was the one to initiate the hug this time, letting it linger. “Thank you for coming down, Bree.”

Aubrey smiled back. “It was my pleasure. See you soon, Chloe.” 

Bean’s thirteen-week-check-up took place the following day. Chloe was set on having as many tests done as possible at this stage, with an NT scan to help assess the baby’s risk of having complications such as Down syndrome, other chromosomal abnormalities, and major congenital heart problems, as well as full blood work to rule out cystic fibrosis and Tay-Sachs.

Bean passed their scan with flying colors, much to her relief. The heartbeat was strong, and 

Bean’s features were unmistakably human this time around; Chloe could make out Bean’s head and their nose and the round belly and tiny feet.

She went home with three pictures, and Beca insisted one should go up on the fridge. 

The following month was punctuated with more therapy, NA meetings, and the visit to Oregon. Chloe felt more at home in Beca’s apartment with each passing day, though she tried her best to stay out of the way whenever Sarah was over. 

On the day of their departure, Chloe was beyond grateful Beca agreed to come with her, as telling her parents the truth felt incredibly daunting. 

They landed in Portland a little after four that Thursday, renting a car to drive the two hours to Newport, where Chloe’s childhood home was located. As Beca parked the car in her parents’ driveway, Chloe was rooted to her seat with nerves. 

Beca’s hand on her leg snapped her out of it. “Hey.” Chloe turned her head to the left, meeting Beca’s soft eyes. “Breathe. In and out.” 

Nodding, Chloe inhaled deeply through her nose and released the air through her mouth, closing her eyes. She reached for the door handle next and stepped out, swallowing thickly as she let her leaned legs carry her to the front door. She pressed the doorbell and stepped back, instinctively reaching for Beca’s hand. 

Her mom appeared on the other side a handful of seconds later, and she engulfed Chloe into a hug before Chloe could even utter anything. 

“Hi mom,” she croaked out, her eyes fluttering shut as she released Beca’s hand to hug her back tightly, basking into the instant comfort being in her mom’s arms brought her. 

Alice pulled away but kept Chloe at arms’ length, her gaze sweeping over her features. “It’s so good to see you, baby.” Her focus shifted to Beca, and she embraced her next, keeping it a bit shorter. They had met each other before when her parents flew to Atlanta for Chloe’s graduation. “Welcome to our home, Beca.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Beale.” 

Chloe’s mom glared playfully, tutting. “It’s Alice to you. Come on inside.” 

They stepped into the house, a smell Chloe knew well drifting from the kitchen: her dad’s famous lasagna, Chloe’s favorite. 

“Hey Chlobear,” her dad greeted as soon as they rounded the corner, smile bright and eyes sparkling as he sat in his electric wheelchair by the couch. 

Tears pricked behind Chloe’s eyes, and she crossed the distance between them, bending down to hug him. His working arm drifted up to snake around her back. “Hi, Dad,” she whispered, emotions trapping her voice in her throat. “I’m so happy to see you.” 

“Me too, sweetheart,” he murmured, his own voice wavering. “I made your favorite. Well, your mom made your favorite under my supervision, ‘cause she would have messed it up otherwise.” 

“Hey,” Chloe’s mom objected, drawing a chuckle from both Chloe and her dad. 

Chloe straightened, hitching her thumb over her shoulder. “You remember Beca, right?” 

“Of course I do,” Mike confirmed as he made his chair go forward, then extended his hand. “How are you, Beca?” 

“Hello Mr. Beale,” Beca greeted, shaking his head. “It’s nice to see you again.” 

“You, too. And it’s Mike. No Mr. Beale around this house.” 

Beca laughed, nodding. “Got it, Mike.” 

“I hope you guys are hungry, we’ve made enough food to last us until next month,” Mike commented as he moved towards the table. 

After freshening up, she and Beca sat at the table just as Alice pulled the lasagna out from the oven, then grabbed the salad and the wine bottle from the counter. 

“Wine, Beca?” She asked, holding up the bottle. 

“I’m good, thanks, though.” 

Chloe glanced at her. “You can have some if you want.” 

Beca shook her head, smiling softly as she unfolded her napkin and draped it across her lap. “I’m okay, I promise. Water’s fine.” 

Chloe caught her parents sharing a confused look over the exchange, and she cleared her throat, knowing it was probably best to get this over with. “Mom, you should probably sit down.” 

Concern creased a frown on Alice’s forehead as she set the bottle down and lowered herself next to Chloe’s dad. “What’s going on, Chloe?” 

Chloe took a deep breath, and she felt Beca’s hand cover her own under the table. She flipped hers over and wrapped her fingers around Beca’s, grateful for the grounding contact. “I um--” she swallowed, unable to figure out where to start even though she had practiced her speech countless times leading up to their visit. 

Shame and guilt rushed through her, digging their claws into her heart and lungs, making it harder to breathe. 

“Chloe,” her mother’s voice pierced through the buzzing in Chloe’s ears. Chloe looked up from her plate, finding soft eyes. “Whatever it is, you can tell us.”

Chloe closed her eyes and sucked in a sharp breath, forcing herself to own up to her situation by looking at her parents while she spoke. “I have a drug problem. Had. I’m--I’m in recovery. I got out of rehab a couple of months ago.” 

A heavy silence settled over the room as Mike and Alice processed the news. Chloe felt like bolting out of the house as she watched her dad swallow thickly, and her mom’s jaw-dropping. She felt a squeeze to her hand and remembered to breathe. 

“Oh Chloe,” her mom whispered and got up to sit in the vacant chair on the other side of Chloe, taking her other hand as she tilted her head to the side. “How long have you been struggling?” 

Chloe cleared her throat. “About five years. I never-- I never graduated from vet school. I dropped out.” 

Her father frowned, his mouth moving wordlessly for a few beats. “But-- the money you gave us for my treatment every month?” 

“I was a stripper,” Chloe admitted quietly. “That’s how I got introduced to cocaine. How I met Marco. How I... made so much money.” She was hit by an array of emotions -- shame, fear, and somehow, relief -- right then, and a sob burst out from her throat before she could reign it in. “I’m s-sorry I lied to you for so long.” She released Beca’s hand to cover her mouth, her body shaking as she crumbled under the weight of her feelings. 

She didn’t fight it when her mom pulled her into her arms, rubbing her back in slow circles and whispering reassuring words into her ear. “It’s okay, sweetie. Breathe. We love you. No matter what.” 

It took a few minutes for Chloe to be able to get her breathing under control, straightening when she did and taking the tissue Beca offered her. 

“You must have a lot of questions,” she murmured, licking her dry lips. She still had the baby bomb to drop, but one thing at a time. Thankfully she wasn’t showing that much yet, and her large hoodie kept her small bump concealed. 

“Thank you for telling us,” her father murmured, and Chloe saw him wipe a tear away when she looked up. “I can’t imagine how hard that must be, as for deciding to seek help.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t do it before. I was ashamed and lost and--” she shrugged. “I wasn’t myself.” 

“How are you feeling now?” Her mom asked softly, pushing Chloe’s hair behind her ear. “You said it’s been two months since rehab?” 

Chloe nodded, sniffling. “Ups and downs. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Beca. She’s the one who encouraged me to get help, who paid for rehab, continued paying for your treatment, and I’ve been staying at her place while I get back on my feet.” 

Both her parents’ focus shifted to Beca, gratitude swirling in their eyes. 

“She’s been incredibly strong and responsible,” Beca said, smiling softly. “Hasn’t missed a therapy session or NA meeting since getting out of rehab.” 

“And this Marco…” her dad trailed off in a questioning tone. 

“He’s out of my life. He wasn’t a good person, but I failed to realize that.” 

“More like he hid it well,” Beca corrected gently. Chloe met her eyes. “Remember what Aubrey and your therapist said about how you didn’t have to blame yourself for that?” 

Chloe nodded. “Right.” 

“Did he… hurt you?” Mike asked next, a tremor in his voice as he seemed to brace himself for the answer. 

“Not physically.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but Chloe didn’t think that slap was worth mentioning. “Just… emotionally. He knew how to get into my head, and the drugs didn’t help. They have this funny way of having you believe whatever it wants you to. Logic and reason no longer existed for me when I was at my lowest. I was ashamed of lying to you every time we spoke on the phone, but the paranoia over you not wanting to talk to me again if I told you was stronger.” 

She was sure her dad had a lot more questions and probably wondered if his treatment and their financial problems pushed Chloe into taking that job, but he remained silent, clearly mulling everything over. 

“We could tell you looked tired every time we called, but we never…” Alice trailed off, shaking her head as a few tears rolled down her cheeks when she blinked. “I’m so sorry.” 

“No,” Chloe croaked out, having feared this: her parents blaming themselves. Her heart felt incredibly heavy as she sandwiched her mom’s hand between her own, glancing at her dad briefly. “I don’t want you guys to feel guilty and think that you should have noticed. I hid it well, especially the first few years. Then it sort of derailed, that’s why I stopped visiting. Please don’t apologize.” 

“Did you take that job because you felt like you had to help us?” Her dad asked, just as Chloe had predicted. “With my treatment?” 

Chloe took a deep breath. “I took it because NYC was expensive and I was struggling a bit with rent. And when your health worsened, I asked for more shifts to help out.” She didn’t want to get into what she was asked to do for more money. She couldn’t. Her dad would be eaten away by guilt if he knew how much of a toll working in the VIP room took on her. The whole truth would hurt him more than a small lie. “It’s when I started doing drugs that everything fell apart. It’s not on you, dad. I promise.” 

Mike swallowed and ran his hand over his face as he visibly tried to keep a hold on his emotions. “You’re my daughter, you shouldn’t have had to provide for me, or to put yourself first.” 

“Dad, please,” Chloe whispered, feeling her throat shrinking. “I wanted to help. I just… made bad choices and met the wrong people. It’s not your fault.” Her eyes found her dad’s. “Please tell me you believe that?” 

Her father remained silent for a stretch as he stared at her. He eventually offered a faint nod, but Chloe wasn’t sure if he was being honest. 

Her mom reached up to wipe her tears away, sniffling. “What… what can we do to help you through your recovery?” 

“Being part of my support system, like you unknowingly have since I got out of rehab,” Chloe murmured with a small smile. “And dealing with more of my visits,” she added, knowing they would both be all for that.

“You are always welcome to move back here, Chlo. For as long as you want,” she offered. 

“I…” she cleared the rising lump in her throat as she briefly glanced down to her lap. “There’s something else that I need to tell you.” Another deep breath. “I’m four months pregnant. With Marco’s baby. But he’s not going to be involved. I’m going to raise them on my own.” 

There. Everything she was ready to share was out there in the open, and Chloe felt incredibly lighter, despite her heartbeat picking up as her parents once again fell silent. She really couldn’t blame them, after everything she had just dumped on them. 

“I know it’s a lot,” she added, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I know my decision to keep it might come across as strange, but I couldn’t get rid of it, and this baby is giving my life purpose again because I want to be a better person for them.” 

“I think you are incredibly brave,” Alice said after a little while, reaching out to catch a tear falling on Chloe’s cheek with the side of her pointer finger. “And I’m failing to find words to express how proud of you I am.” 

Chloe sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand as her gaze met her dad’s once more. She could tell he needed more time to work through everything, and maybe they could talk about it some more the next day, once he had slept over it. 

“That kid is going to be the most spoiled grandchild of all Newport,” he joked with a soft smile, his words loosening the nerves in Chloe’s stomach.

Chloe released a watery giggle. “I love you guys.” 

“We love you, too, Chlobear,” her dad murmured, and after embracing her mom tightly, Chloe stood up and rounded the table to hug her dad. 

They eventually dug into dinner, the conversation shifting to the baby, whether it was okay, what the risks there were, when was her due date... Her parents offered to turn the office into a nursery if Chloe wanted to move back in with them, to which Chloe answered that she would think about it. She had been concerned about how much the pregnancy and having a newborn baby around would affect Beca’s life and her relationship with Sarah, and this would be another alternative to which Chloe needed to give some serious thought. 

Chloe and Beca headed upstairs shortly after dinner, both feeling exhausted as their mind and body were three hours ahead. After showing Beca to the guest room, Chloe changed into her pajamas and washed up for bed, knocking on Beca’s door on her way back to her own bedroom. 

She pushed it open upon hearing a soft come in, finding Beca lying on top of the comforter, already changed in her sleeping wear. 

“You okay?” She asked, smiling as Chloe sat down on the edge of the mattress. “That went pretty well.” 

“Yeah, I…” she swallowed, shaking her head in leftover awe. “I have amazing parents. I didn’t think they would be so understanding.” 

“Of course they’re amazing. They raised you.” 

Chloe bowed her head as blush bloomed in her cheeks. She cleared her throat. “I think my dad is a bit shaken up and part of him feels to blame, but I’m hoping he and I can talk some more tomorrow.” 

Beca nodded. “Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.” 

Chloe let out a small sigh, and she reached out to squeeze Beca’s hand. “Thanks again for coming here with me.” 

“Not a problem. I’m hoping you’ll show me around the town at some point, take me to your favorite spots.” 

“We can definitely do that tomorrow,” Chloe agreed, her smile genuine. “Goodnight, Bec.” 

“Night Chloe. Night Bean.”

[tiny-smallest]

day one - pride

Rating: G Characters: Henry and Bendy Warnings: none Description: Henry reflects on the definition of labels and belonging in certain spaces.

Also on AO3!

---

WHO'S READY FOR THE INK DEMONTH 2021 I SURE ONCE AGAIN TOTALLY WAS YEP DEFINITELY NO LAST MINUTE ANYTHING HERE LET'S GO

Doing writing prompts again because this year has been A Lifetime and I just don't possess the ability to draw this time so let's go let's get stupid get weird enjoy the misadventures of a specific au of of Bendy and the Ink Machine where the toons are their own people in a world they still don't entirely understand and the people who love them who try to help them navigate it.

---

Henry was used to a surprising amount of things to interrupt his day first thing in the morning. Easily numbered in the hundreds. His children were toons; there was no end to the amount of crazy nonsense that they could get into when he was asleep, and that was disregarding the fact that Bendy usually slept until noon.

Sure, he was the Troublemaker In Chief. That did not mean the other two were paragons of holiness, no matter how much Alice tried glowing her halo at him while she and her brother gave him the saddest, biggest, shiniest puppy eyes. And that didn't even take into account how much trouble they could find, no mischief intended.

He'd seen smoldering breakfasts, pancakes on the ceiling, saran wrap around the kitchen archway, demonic rubber chicken noises from a saxophone that had a part replaced with the noisemaker from the novelty prank toy...

(He still didn't regret letting Boris chase Bendy for that one without intervening.)

With all that, being immediately accosted by three toons hanging off his legs the second he came down the stairs and all trying to talk to him at the same time did not magically get any easier to withstand.

"Whatever it is, it's a no until I get my coffee," he drawled as he attempted to walk with them hanging off him, the three of them dragged along with him. It was with quite some difficulty that he got to the kitchen counter.

"But Henry!" Bendy whined, "we only got a few hours to get ready if ya say yes! We need every second!"

"For what?" he yawned, pouring a cup from the machine.

"You don't know what day it is?" Alice was surprised enough to actually let go, and she dusted herself off like the lady she was before standing up.

Instantly something cold grabbed Henry's heart and squeezed. "Uh- no I...?"

Had he forgotten someone's birthday? No, it was summertime; Bendy was a winter 'birth' and Boris and Alice were spring and fall. An anniversary of some kind? Quick think what are you forgetting you useless-

"How!?" Bendy gaped at him from down below. "It's been all over the news fer weeks!"

Well okay now he was just thoroughly confused. "I um-"

"The parade, Henry!" Boris's tail was thumping gently against the floor; he was not trying one tiny ounce to hide his eagerness. "The parade that's today!"

"Parade-?" It took just one more nanosecond of thought before it clicked.

"Oh you mean the-!" And they wanted to go to it.

Well, he shouldn't be surprised. This would be the first parade they'd get to see, wouldn't it? And it was nice weather out. And it would be bursting with color, which the toons were darn near obsessed with.

He took a contemplative sip. They weren't human; god even knew if they had any sort of sexuality at all. Could they even feel that stuff? The urge to- do anything like that? Wouldn't that technically make them asexual? That was the word, right?

Well, human or not, that would solidly mean they belonged there. Queer was queer, regardless of species, right? Hell, even if they'd just started asking themselves those questions, or wanted to support the fans of theirs who fell under that giant umbrella, they were valid for being there.

"Sure, I can take you."

Both boys cheered, lifting their arms to do so and releasing his legs. He quickly took a step away from them, but their joy had them leaping to their feet anyway and he watched as they bounced around the kitchen, slowly draining his coffee and trying to curb his smile when he was actively drinking.

It was a hard task.

Their excited chatter melted pleasantly into the background as he took the time to drink and try to shake his brain awake the rest of the way awake like shaking out an old blanket to coax out the wrinkles. Their enthusiasm always made for the perfect background noise.

"What colors do you want?"

"I dunno! There's so many! I don' even know what label I fit in-"

"I saw you checkin' out that guy the other day don't think I didn't!" The wink and nudge from Bendy sent Boris blushing so hard the poor wolf's face turned nearly as black as his fur.

"I was hopin' you hadn't-"

They were all quick to consume breakfast, and Henry retreated upstairs after telling the toons to come get him when they wanted to leave.

He settled comfortably in the limitless, timeless space of art before reality came knocking with Bendy's distinctive tapping at the door, pulling Henry from the space inbetween something and nothing as he set his pen aside. "Come in, kiddo."

When Bendy stepped in with what was unmistakably a rainbow flag on his cheek and extra face paint he knew he was in for a time.

"Oh uh- what's that for-"

"For you!" Bendy said with a giant grin. "Who'd ya think?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah well- I uh-"

Bendy didn't slow down. "Anyway the others are about ready to go but they sent me up here to get your flag on while they finish up- now why they trusted me with the paint I got about as much an idea as you but hey I'm not gonna complain-"

"Aw that's- that's sweet kiddo but I sorta figured I'd just be-" How to say this. "Dropping you off...?"

Immediate confusion. "What? Why?"

"Uh well- I mean-" He fiddled with the pen- when had that ended up back in his hands? "You guys- you have a space there, you know? I'm not sure if I-"

There was now a puckered frown on the little devil's face. "Not sure if you what?"

"Well I mean- I don't exactly- belong, now do I?"

The frown multiplied its intensity by about five. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Aw jeez. He really did not want to discuss this with his kid, as much of an adult as Bendy was. For many reasons. "Uh well- you know-" He gestured, as if hoping that would somehow pluck the answer from the air and implant it in Bendy's brain without having to give voice to it, setting the pen down in the process so he’d stop playing with it. "I'm not exactly- I mean-"

"You like guys." Bendy's voice was so sure that Henry knew making any sort of denial was futile. And also kind of stupid. Why would he deny that to his own son? No of course he wouldn't.

"Well I mean- I married a woman, didn't I?" he finally blurted out.

Unimpressed blinking as he drew closer to stand beside the desk. "Yeah they got a word for that. Several actually. Most popular ones are bi and pan, so which colors is it gonna be?"

"No no I mean-" God he was probably blushing. His face definitely felt way too hot. "I uh- I mean I- I like guys, yes-" great brain thanks a ton totally needed that heart rate spiking why are you acting like that's scary this is our kid- "but I- I married a woman- I like women- more often?"

The blinking was now confused.

"Uh-" How to phrase this. "If- if we split it into a pie chart- it's probably like... thirty-seventy in favor of women?" He ran his fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck again. "I'm- not that I'm any great catch but like, if I was in any way qualified to be in the dating pool again, I'd be way more likely to end up with a lady."

The unimpressed look was back. "And?"

It was Henry's look to be surprised. "And- and that means that, you know- I'm not really-"

"You like guys."

"I- yeah?"

"And you're a guy."

"Kind of a given at this point."

"So you're a guy, and you like guys, and just also happen to like girls too. We got names for that." He gave Henry's shirt an appraising look. "Gotta say the bi colors would complement your clothes best. If you want pan colors I'm gonna have to ask you to change. As your official fashion consultant."

Henry snorted. "My what?"

"Listen Dad I love you but I ain't about to let you walk into that parade wearing like, a pineapple hawaiian shirt or nothin'."

Henry banged a fist lightly on the table and pointed at him. "Liar! You wore the exact same thing just the other day!"

"Yeah but that was to the beach, not a parade."

"Literally when have you ever cared about not being a fashion disaster."

"This time, when Alice'll actually kill me otherwise."

"... Okay you got me there."

Bendy grinned. "So, bi colors or pan colors! Or somethin' else? I think there's other ones too."

He opened his mouth, closed it again and then opened it. What the hell. "... Bi colors, I guess."

"Yesssssss I was hopin' you'd say that." He hopped over onto the table like he'd suddenly become a bunny.

"Oh you were, huh?"

"Listen, the pan folks got pretty colors, but I'm always a sucker for a sunset," he said as he pulled out the pallet he needed. Henry sighed and shook his head, the smile ruining his effort to look exasperated.

"Well. Sunset me then, I guess."

"You got it boss!" Bendy said in maybe the worst mafia minion accent known to mankind.

It was barely five minutes of Bendy painting lines carefully on his cheek before he whipped out a mirror.

"Tah-dah!"

Henry blinked at himself in the mirror. He tilted his head, something shifting inside his heart that he had no name for, no way to voice.

The once proud look on Bendy's face was swiftly dropping. "... I didn't mess it up, did I...?"

"No- no, no." Henry tilted his head. "I uh..."

Bendy's worried browlines screamed anxiety to him.

"... I guess I just look good in a sunset," he said quietly, seeing the little corner of his reflection's mouth turn up as if in some sort of hazy dream.

Better than I thought.

[teamhook]

The Perfect Man :: Birthday Fic

Hello all! This story was written for the lovely amazing @searchingwardrobes for her birthday.

Story beta-ed by @ultraluckycatnd

FFN

AO3

Killian finds his way back to Granny's. The encounter with the three men has left him even more curious about Emma. She must be a special lass to have the attention and affection of so many men. Either that, or she was a siren, or perhaps she has bewitched them.

Killian is a perceptive man and he has a feeling in his gut that something is off. He had considered asking the men about Emma, but they had their hands full with their own issues.

Emma and the girls had finished practicing at the Blanchards’. Mary Margaret had gotten a call from David and they were getting all lovey-dovey. Emma left so they could have privacy, because there were things she never wanted to know about her brother.

She sits down on an old swing just taking in the scenery. She is having so much fun being Leo. She feels free; she doesn't have to be herself. Sometimes, the pressure from her family gets to her. David is the golden son. He is perfect and once he marries MM, his approval rate will be even higher. David’s currently away completing his training to be a Deputy Sheriff. That was one of the reasons she had agreed to date Sheriff Humbert, but that had not worked out. She knows the good Sheriff still has hope that she will come to her senses and give him another chance, but that is very unlikely. She misses both of her brothers and she hates feeling jealous of her brother James. She is so much more like him than David. She hopes to someday flee the little town just as he had. Small town, big hell. Her brother had craved to go out and conquer the world, so he left them behind and occasionally checked in, mostly with David; it must be a twin thing.

Then her thoughts traveled to Jones. She still has no idea why she flaked the moment she met him and gave him a fake identity. Once she realized who he was and why he was in town, she should have come clean and confessed, but her embarrassment clouded her mind. That, and he has very pretty eyes and luscious lips. She had gotten distracted by his looks. She has met good-looking men before, but there is something different about him. Maybe it was the fact that he appears to be well-traveled and experienced. She looks down at her watch. Perhaps if she goes home and changes quickly, she can finally apologize to him for making him travel to Storybrooke because of her dumb luck.

Killian was about to get ready for bed. His time in Storybrooke was coming to an end soon. Part of him is saddened by the thought, and the other part is upset because it appears Emma Nolan will remain a mystery. That thought surprisingly makes his heart hurt. There’s a soft knock on his door, one he almost misses. He can't imagine who it could be. The only people that know of him in the small town are the Nolan siblings. He opens the door and the first thing he sees is the most vibrant green orbs he had ever laid his eyes on. Long blonde wavy hair, with a dimpled chin graced by a hesitant smile on red full lips. He has seen many beautiful women in his life, but this one renders him speechless.

"Hello, I'm Emma Nolan." She pauses for a second. "Leo, my brother, passed on your message. I'm sorry you had to travel so far because of my very idiotic lack of attention. I was supposed to send an invitation to your family, not to cause any trouble. I'm sorry about Miss Blue as well. She can be difficult, but she meant no harm."

Killian raises his hand to pause her ramblings. "Lass, I'm sure it was an accident. However, my brother lacks any sense of humor. He is very uptight and an overbearing arse. Would you like to come in?"

Emma looks behind him and blushes as she notices the bed is ready for him. "Oh, no thank you. I just wanted to apologize in person. Leo said you were very nice, and I’ve been busy with school, and I wanted to come by earlier. I did, but I kept missing you."

"It's no problem. I'm sorry we had missed each other." He scratches behind his ear. "I stopped by your home earlier to chat with your brother, but I was told he wasn't home."

"Oh, yeah, did you want me to let him know?" Emma asks.

"Well, I would love to see him before I leave."

"Are you leaving so soon?"

He smiles. "I will be departing the enchanting town of Storybrooke in a couple of days. I just wanted to thank him for being so helpful."

She nods. "I will let him know." She winces. "I hate to ask, but would you please reconsider not withdrawing the support your family offers the school in donations because of my fault? That would help me avoid Miss Blue's bad side," she says as she works her bottom lip nervously.

He laughs and shakes his head. "Emma, I didn't mean it. I was upset and my mum would roll in her grave. She loved the school and this town."

"Oh, thank you. I already get on Miss Blue's bad side enough. I didn't need another way for her to be on my case. Thanks again. I will let Leo know and I'll let you rest. Goodnight Mr. Jones," Emma says as she turns to leave.

"Love, you can call me Killian." His bright smile makes her heart flutter.

Killian's final days in the small town his mother had grown up and left behind are spent with Emma Nolan showing him around in her free time. He is mesmerized by the beautiful lass and her free spirit which reminds him of his long-lost mum.

The night before he is set to depart, they spend it talking in his room with some room service and a subtle wink from Ruby in Emma’s direction.

“May I ask you a question, lass?” Killian asks as he is taking a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich, one he got at her recommendation.

“Sure, and you can call me Emma. I mean, you had to travel so far because of my fault,” she answers with a smile as she takes a bite of her fish and chips.

“Why write the letter?” He looks at her with curiosity.

She sighs. “I was thinking of the ideal man for me and for a brief moment, I had found him, but he was away from me.” She looks at him and shrugs.

He scratches behind his ear. “You are a beautiful lass and are clearly not lacking suitors.”

Emma looked at him with a high brow and tilt of the head. “Suitors?”

“Oh yes, a few nights ago, I went to your home to find your brother but instead, met three men outside arguing over you.”

Emma blushes profusely. “Ohh! But to get back to your question, I have yet to find such a man. I want something that seems to be unrealistic. Look, I have a pretty good idea of who you met. Each of those men has a quality I want, but not one of them has them all.”

He nods. “Emma, what are you looking for?” he asks curiously.

“I want… a man that will put the extra effort for me; that he lets it show I’m worth fighting for. He will be my best friend. We would be kindred spirits, open books. He will be romantic and full of passion. He will be mature and knows what he wants, and he won’t play games. He will be an adventurer and fun.”

“There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want,” he says.

“What about you?” She asks because she’s curious, and perhaps a part of her is hoping she has some of the qualities he is looking for.

He looks away from her for a second. “To be honest, I hadn’t thought about it in quite some time. In my younger days, I wanted a lot of the same qualities you do.” He cringes as he realizes that Milah is nothing like what he had pictured himself with in his youth.

Emma notices the change in him. “What’s wrong?”

“I just realized how much my fiance lacks those qualities. Don’t misunderstand me, she is not a completely horrid person, but she is not always the easiest person to deal with.”

Emma’s heart sinks at his mention of the fiance. “Oh, I’m sure she isn’t that bad if she managed to get you.”

“To be honest, we fell into the engagement because it seemed like the logical next step in our relationship.”

“But you must love her?” Emma asks.

Their food is long forgotten.

“I just figured that true love wasn’t in the cards for me but--” He pauses for a second. “Perhaps we should change the subject.” He can’t let his mind wander into that territory.

Emma agrees and their conversation returns to Killian hearing stories shared by Ruth about Alice. They laugh at their mothers’ antics. Soon the night comes and their time together ends as they part reluctantly, both upset at the fact that they will most likely never see each other again. As a last attempt to keep a connection with Killian, Emma reminds him that he and his brother are invited to the annual play production. He smiles and nods.

After leaving Killian’s door, Emma sits down at the diner. She asks Granny for a hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon; she needs the little pick me up.

Ruby comes out of the kitchen with the cup for Emma and sits next to her. “Hey, stranger! So you have to tell me, how was he?”

Emma turns to Ruby confused. “Wait, what?”

“The hottie. You have been spending all your time with him for the last 48 hours or so and he is hot!” Ruby says as if it was the obvious conclusion.

“Nothing like that happened. Rubes, he is engaged.” Emma scoffs as she rolls her eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey. I know you like him.” Ruby scoots closer and hugs her friend.

Emma sighs. “I didn’t even tell him the truth about Leo . I wanted to, but he had been so nice to me already. I don’t know, I just didn’t want him to not want to spend time with me. Oh my God, Ruby I’m horrible!”

“Ems, you are not horrible. I think you might have met your match, though.”

“Okay, let’s say you are right. What does that mean for me? He is getting married. He is going home to her .” Emma puts her cup down and gets up to leave the diner.

Once Killian finally arrives back home, he explains to Liam that the letter they received was all a simple misunderstanding. Liam asks if it was all a simple misunderstanding, then why did he take so long to come back. Killian simply answers that he wanted the connection to their mother to last longer, which is something that Liam can completely understand.

Milah was a different story. She was not happy with his absence, and made him aware of it. As she talks about wedding plans and how grandiose the wedding is going to be, he can’t help but feel his stomach drop at the thought of spending the rest of his life with her.

Liam has noticed a change in his brother since coming back from Storybrooke several weeks ago; the way Killian cringes when Milah touches him, or tries to show any form of affection. So he decides to confront him about the change in behavior on a night when they are enjoying a night out together.

“Brother, may I ask you something?” Liam asks as they sit down to have a drink.

Killian smiles. “Aye, what is it?”

“Since your return, you have been acting strangely. You seem distant all the time, but it’s much worse when you are with Milah. I don’t know how she can be so oblivious,” Liam says.

“I’m not acting any different. Liam, I honestly don’t know what you are getting at,” Killian says defiantly.

“Brother, you might be able to lie to that strumpet you are to marry, but not to me. I know you and I know for a fact there’s something wrong, and I have a strong feeling it has to do with that letter and the lass that wrote it.” Liam states and sighs. “Remember that a man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets .”

Killian stares incredibly at his brother. “What are you saying?”

“Isn't it obvious? End your relationship with Milah and go after your girl!” Liam says smiling.

Killian doesn’t think twice and goes to face Milah.

The conversation consists of Milah yelling and throwing things at him once he said the words: It’s over. I just don’t love you.

In Storybrooke, Emma has talked to her suitors to let them know that there is no chance in them ever working out. She has decided that after school ended, she will take a break and travel. She didn’t need a man to be happy, and needs to get out of the small town.

On the day of the play, her nerves start to get the best of her. Part of her hopes for a miracle that perhaps Killian will take her up on her invitation.

Miss Blue has been pleasantly surprised at the creativity of the girls and after Emma had informed her that the Jones donation was going to continue, she calmed down.

On his flight back, Killian can't contain his excitement, but he feels a moment of panic and uncertainty. What if she doesn't feel the same? He has replayed their interactions over and over again in his mind since the engagement with Milah was called off. He is certain that Emma feels the same way towards him. Their conversation about their ideal mate makes him think she does. It’s a risk, but she is worth it. He will win her over no matter how long it takes.

Once his plane descends into Logan Airport, his nerves pick up again. He feels like a bloody schoolboy. He has decided to stay in Boston and then drive to Storybrooke the night of the play to surprise her. He has a feeling that if he were to stay at Granny's, his presence will not remain a secret for long.

He had been doing some shopping when he spotted the perfect dress for her. It was a pale pink dress with a bodice that would hug her curves and the neckline would give a tasteful, yet modest, view of what was hidden underneath. He just knows he has to get it for her.

The day of the play, he arrives a tad late in hopes to stay hidden in the shadows to properly surprise her. The production is in full swing and his eyes find his friend Leo and smiles fondly. It had been obvious that the school went to great lengths to provide an exceptional performance. After the final curtain, Killian finds his way backstage where a stunned Ruby greeted him with a wide smile.

"Hello, lass. I'm looking for--" Killian is interrupted by the girl.

"Oh, you're here! I know why you are here, just head to the last room in the hall." She smiles and winks at him.

Killian follows her instructions. He knocks softly and opens the door once he hears the familiar voice telling him to enter. He looks around and notices the stalls used to change outfits. He approaches the closed stall.

Killian starts talking, "I couldn't possibly miss this production."

Emma stops dressing on the other side of the stall, her heart beating so fast. Without thinking, she uses her Leo voice. "I'm happy you made it... There's something I should have told you before, but I was afraid--"

"There's nothing to fear," he says and she feels a box he pushed under the stall touch her feet. She picks it up and opens it, finding a dress inside.

Emma laughs. "You knew? All this time?"

Killian simply answers, "I'm a perceptive man, love. But the performance tonight confirmed my suspicions."

"Why aren’t you angry at me? I lied to you," Emma says as she looks at the dress. "And the dress?" she asks, biting her bottom lip.

"I figured you would tell me in time when you were ready. I hope it's not presumptuous of me to hope that perhaps you would like to go on a date with me?"

There’s a brief quiet moment when the stall opens, revealing Emma wearing the dress with a smile on her face.

“You look-” Killian says, speechless.

“I know,” Emma says with a smirk. “And I would love to go on a date with you, but what about your engagement?”

He nods. “I broke it off because this amazing lass wrote a letter that helped me find what I truly craved; true love.”

She closes the short distance between them and pulls him to her in a crashing kiss, one filled with the emotion his words caused to overflow from her heart.

In the end, Emma goes through with her plans of traveling. The difference is she does it with a man that loves her and makes her the happiest she has ever been. All by following in her future mother-in-law to be's footsteps, leaving Storybrooke behind for her new home.

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