#( i just loved this prompt tbh i found many great songs doing this )

[manysmallhands]

Top 10 Albums of 2023!

This was all supposed to work out differently. As i recall from the now long distant past, my original plan was to do a countdown where i put up one post a day throughout December. However, I got Covid on December 1st and that plan immediately became lame and useless. After that, my assumption was basically that i wouldn't be able to do any of this, but i got better more quickly than i'd anticipated and found myself working on these reviews in bits as the month has gone on. So, having rushed through all the the song blurbs that i wanted to do, here i am on New Year's Eve with a more or less finished Top 10 albums to put up.

The only problem is that there are ten quite lengthy reviews here and the vibe is already pretty tl:dr. But tbh that's fine: there really is only my girlfriend who ever reads everything (and i believe her, trust is what love is all about after all) so for anyone looking at this and thinking blimey, that's a lot of text, my advice is: you don't have to read any of it. Just look at the albums, scan thru to see if it sounds like something you might like and give one or two of them a listen if that looks like the case. The words are really just to keep me occupied but i'd like to hope that someone likes some of the records.

I said yesterday that i would reveal what the best one is and so I am now delivering on that important promise. The best one is Scarlet by Doja Cat. Anyone who follows me on whatever platform already knows that the best one is Scarlet by Doja Cat. Don't make me say it again.

Barbie - The Album

Few people have seemed much interested in the Barbie soundtrack, other than the punters who kept it atop the compilations chart for four months. I, as ever, channel the spirit of the populous. The sound is basically 80s synth pop updated for a modern audience  - the likes of Haim and Ava Max slot in predictably well - but its the extra dimensions created by how the artists interact with the film that provide some of its more interesting aspects. Sam Smith’s Man I Am reflects a surprisingly LGBTQ Ken despite protestations (certainly its "I'm not gay bro, but..." T-shirt is prompting a lot of questions already answered by the shirt), while Billie Eilish dwelling on life as a manufactured product makes for interesting and uncomfortable parallels in What Was I Made For. Mark Ronson’s plasticky production suits its subject to a tee, further cementing the conceptual unity of the project.

Star turns abound throughout the album as A-listers like Dua Lipa and Lizzo bring their best games alongside some terrific and unlikely downcard cameos. What Was I Made For? and Dance The Night were both deserved #1s, but the pacey pop punk of GAYLE’s Butterflies and Dominic Fike’s breezy, hook laden Hey Blondie are as much highlights as any of the bigger names here. Special mention should be made for Ryan Gosling’s I’m Just Ken, a blockbuster 70s rock number that, whilst puncturing the wider stylistic template, is batshit and hilarious enough to more than justify its place as well as netting him a surprise hit too. The quality lapses once or twice (Tame Impala in particular are bloody awful) but by the time Ava fires the final laser I’m generally happy to go back and start all over again. With banger after banger here, my verdict is in: the Barbie soundtrack is *Charli voice* HOT!

Claire Rosinkranz - Just Because

While this has been a year that I’ve gotten more fully into pop, it took a while for me to find many new albums that I’ve been interested in. This may partly be to do with me clinging to an idea that LPs ought to be substantial beyond having good hooks and charm. In truth, all I needed to do was revert to my indiepop training, where bands have never knowingly been fussed about having any great weightiness. But even so, it took Just Because to make it clear to me that no, you really don’t need any grand vision at all: a high number of great if frothy pop songs will do just fine. It’s a record which bounces from banger to banger in an endearingly sunny style, with each tune so catchy that their lightness becomes a strength rather than a weakness.

Rosinkranz’s voice seems to mark her out as one of the many Billie clones who populate the current pop scene but her musical ambitions are both simpler and more instantly engaging. Not yet 20, her songs have an element of schoolyard whispers which add a welcome silliness here and there, but she also plays with the intensity of youthful emotions to make them a little heartrending even as she goofs off. Highlights include Dreamer, a break up song where the vocal makes it clear that she’s far from as done as she says she is, and Wes Anderson, which offers some sombre advice but packages it in a song so sweet that you’d never know. But in spite of all this it makes no end of year lists (well, maybe just the one), being merely a lovable set of songs that are very hard to forget. Need it be more? I don't believe so.

Doja Cat - Scarlet

Mired in discourse throughout the year, Doja Cat still found time to make a chart topping single (Paint The Town Red) that took the world by storm and a cracking album which, sadly, did not. Scarlet was in my opinion the better of the two: largely ditching the afrobeat pop of Planet Her, Doja staked her claim as an old skool rapper and brought it off pretty well, mixing hard rhyming with her more scattershot pop delivery and sounding entirely comfortable wherever she landed. While flitting musically between modern RnB and neo-soul grooves, her subject matter was largely taken up by how much she hated her fans, a bold strategy that found her shedding support even as blistering tracks like Fuck The Girls shaped up as some of my favourites of the year.

Whilst I’ve found myself uncomfortable with both the company that she keeps and the views which she may or may not subscribe to (i feel safe in saying that she's a right wing edgelord but i suspect that’s the least of it), Scarlet is such a good album that I’ve found myself, if not making excuses for her, then at least deftly navigating around my distaste in order to keep listening to it. While Agora Hills often reminded me how serious she is about her scumbag of a boyfriend, it’s still a song that can submerge me in its beauty entirely; while some of the complaints from her online audience are less easily dismissed than others, it’s more comfortable just to think about the morons calling her a devil worshiper, especially when she mocks them so wickedly on the elegant Skull And Bones. Am I the problem? Maybe I am: it’s a place I often find myself in with hip hop, where faves are frequently problematic and exceptions beg to be made. As such, I can not wholeheartedly recommend this record to people who might want to take a principled stand against some of her bullshit. I can only say that, as a musical talent, there was no one better all year.

Lana Del Rey - Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Boulevard?

After 2021’s fairly middling brace of albums, Did You Know That There’s A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd always felt like it was going to be a return to form and this time the faithful were not disappointed. It was another epic and sprawling record which unfolded like a cross between The Bible and a 50s musical. While changeable in style, ranging from hammy country ballads to trap beats and beyond, the thing that springs to mind most often is the Great American Songbook, as Lana takes the melodramatic grandeur of those standards and soaks them in her own messy and complicated worldview. This draws in family, romance, the future, her relationship with religion and how it all scrappily fits together, ranging widely and wildly across 75 extraordinary minutes.

Much of the album feels like it’s being broadcast from a kind of dreamworld, although one that overlays with reality neatly enough. Lana’s dismissive “if you want some basic bitch go to the Beverly Centre and find her” line undercuts the mood on the otherwise lush and evocative Sweet but the impact is hilarious rather than jarring, a perfect marriage of the strange and mundane. In contrast, the brooding A&W initially brings that realism to a far more uncomfortable level, before goofing off wonderfully in the second half in a way that only Lana ever really dares to do. Much of the record feels like it's creating its own language, as key phrases (“let the light in”, “when you know, you know”) are repeated and musical themes come back around in strange modulations. All in all, while perhaps less satisfying as a pop record than Norman Fucking Rockwell, Did You Know… feels like her most complete statement on a personal level yet, whilst still working well within the broader world that she’s spent over a decade constructing.

Mitski - The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We

Despite liking the odd song or two, I have until now been largely immune to Mitski over the full length of an album. But The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We has a much more organic sound than I’m used to hearing from her, well adrift from the polished guitar rock of her big 10s records. Instead, it takes many of its cues from classic folk and country, occasionally lush and expansive, often determinedly sombre but always at a distance from the areas where she’s generally been at home. Opener Bug Like An Angel is a brooding scene setter, where Mitski unveils the terse and grumpy presence we will grow familiar with over the next half hour. The main elements of the album are already in place - the spare instrumentation; Mitski’s extraordinary voice, hard and intransigent but still full of yearning; the occasional, overwhelming interjections from the wings. It all creates a distinctive atmosphere, extremely intense but intimate too: we’re allowed into Mitski’s world but there’s a lot to take in.

Lyrically, the songs are both heavily allusive and extremely personal, like hearing ancient parables told by the characters from the story. Surprise hit My Love Mine All Mine seems to sit apart as a relatively standard love song but a closer listen reveals deeper layers; the placing of her love as something independent from its object makes it feel more of a piece with the album’s other enigmas. At a time where Mitski seemed to be cooling on being a rock star, The Land Is Inhospitable adds a new twist to her long musical journey, seemingly presenting a more intimate portrait while in fact retaining most of her essential mystery. As an album, it really is quite something: what that is I’m less certain of but I like it regardless.

Olivia Rodrigo - Guts

Tho I wouldn't have called myself a hater (I don’t think I would have been bothered enough), I don't really like Olivia’s all conquering debut Sour, which I thought a bit too one-note and overpopulated with slushy ballads. But by the time Guts came around I was open to listening again, drawn in by its excellent singles and primed for a different experience. Vampire, the best of them and more or less of this year, was a fantastic example of taking something that Olivia is clearly very accomplished at (the grand piano lament) and then, rather than running that into the ground, instead using it as a springboard for an entirely different idea. Get Him Back and Bad Idea Right hark back to earlier guitar based tracks like Brutal, but on Guts they form a much more substantive part of the album, cementing its brand of addictive pop grunge and working up a much goofier version of her messy teen persona.

Elsewhere, the ballads did in fact return. Some have speculated that this may have been a bad idea (right?) but for me they’ve been growers, particularly the likes of Lacy and The Grudge, where Olivia explores the bitterness of youth and uses it to tear holes in the people who’ve wronged her. But if I’m honest, it’s the rockers that I’m usually waiting for: whether the new wave pastiche of Love Is Embarrassing or autumnal Cure homage Pretty Isn’t Pretty, each one feels like a mini-revelation and it’s the style that I hope she leans on most in the future.

Palehound - Eye On The Bat 

Palehound have been around for a while now and every so often I’ve given their records a try and haven't really managed to connect with them properly. Eye on the Bat has been the first exception, though whether that's because it’s any better than the others or I just made more of an effort with it I don’t know. Its template is certainly well worn in the indie world - country rock with varying degrees of aggression or melodic sweetness - but there’s still a lot here that grabs my attention, especially in the charming indie pop of the title track and the heart-rending melancholy of Route 22.

But the thing that caught my ear the most was Ellen Kempner’s disarming honesty, with much of the album spent documenting what sounds like a deeply messy break up. Whether she’s bitterly picking through the fall out on Independence Day or remembering some hilariously embarrassing bedroom scene on opener Good Sex, Eye On The Bat's almost diaristic view is mesmerising throughout, making you warm to Kempner even as she works thru some of her own worst traits. And aside from anything else, her understanding of relationships underlines her strengths as a lyricist, as she dissects their complexities with wit, sympathy and occasional anger to capture all the stuff that transcends whatever we were hoping for in the first place.

Poppy - Zig

After the wild ride that commenced with 2020’s extraordinary pop/metal mash up I Disagree, Poppy has journeyed thru indie rock, goth and punk to wind up back where she started, only not quite. Zig may represent a return to pop - indeed it’s produced by Weeknd affiliate Ali Payami - but it’s one that’s filtered thru all of the places she stopped off along the way.

The crepuscular grind of Church Outfit and Knockoff sound like more danceable versions of the I Disagree sound, while the crunching title track suggests that she can still go as hard as ever. But there are nods to a lighter side here as well, particularly in the strong trio that wind up the album: The Attic recasts her sound in a euphoric drum n bass clatter whilst closer Prove It kicks up a remarkable blend of manic hyperpop and gentle electro-balladry, whilst still working in the rich emotional palette that she’s developed in recent years.

In one sense this is a huge departure from the frenetic punk of last year’s Stagger EP but the vibes here stake out territory that you’d still find oddly familiar. Some of the gothy ballads are less immediate than other songs but nothing on Zig is boring, just varying refinements on her ever evolving musical journey. The critics were split, occasionally rattled and sometimes just plain baffled, but that’s only to be expected by now. Poppy follows her own plan and rarely sticks to the same tune: in truth it’s a privilege just to be a witness to the chaos.

Sweeping Promises - Good Living Is Coming For You

One thing that I find missing in a lot of modern guitar based music is snappy songs with good catchy hooks. While Sweeping Promises appear to place their focus elsewhere - their high concept sound is best understood as someone broadcasting direct from 1979 through a wristwatch speaker - their second album still finds time to deliver fully on the tunes. Good Living Is Coming To You is steeped in bubblegum melodies and memorable choruses, with songs that become earworms before you’ve even registered how catchy they are. 

More than anything, it's dominated by Lira Mondal’s imperious vocals: whether it’s in the cascading harmonies of Throw Of The Dice, the fierce yells and hisses that close out the title track or her sweet voiced switch-outs on Ideal No, her character springs out of every song in a way that few singers ever really manage to impose. While you might think that the post punk era has been mined to death by now, Sweeping Promises drag new life into it by going back further: their sound may be heavily rooted in a specific moment but the elements of songcraft often have more in common with 60s girl group classics than gnarled art rockers. Ten bangers and no filler: Good Living Is Coming For You is everything I wanted from it and more.

Wednesday - Rat Saw God

While the queasy vibes of 2021’s Twin Plagues are still high in the mix here, it was the welcome injection of melody on Wednesday's third album that managed to alert the media. That lightness was more apparent in Karly Hartzman's lyrics than you might notice on a passing listen too: though often praised for her grimly amusing takes on middle American backwaters, the key to them was her deceptively soft touch, casting a sympathetic eye over grisly scenes even as she retained their gnarlier undertones.

Single Chosen To Deserve, with its crunching chorus and heartwarming romantic turnaround, feels like the designated big moment from the record but in reality Rat Saw God has an embarrassment of riches. Quarry in particular, with its Waterloo Sunset-esque signature and matter-of-fact dissection of grim local gossip, is an almost pop version of the most haunting aspects of Hartzman's craft, while the washed out bounce of closer TV in the Gas Pump pitches a lonelier scene in a similarly gorgeous manner.

This is not to forget that Wedneday can still rock extremely hard when they want to, especially on the brutal 8 minute Bull Believer, an ambitious multipart epic that ends with Hartzman screaming “FINISH HIM!!!” repeatedly over the chaotic finale. But while Rat Saw God brought this kind of sawtoothed sound back to widespread acclaim, its real trick was how it sugared the pill just enough to get it past even the most determinedly sweet tooth.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

tagged by @howdydowdy <3 thankss!! i also don't watch a tonne of shows but i do watch a lot of films so i'm gonna do a combo of the two lol

8 shows/films to get to know me

borstal boy (2000(?) film) - watching this as a teen Changed me tbh... it also definitely gave me one of my first glimpses of a bisexual character on screen... also danny dyer plays a gay sailor in this i mean??? what more could you want lol (also feel like this film is equal parts depressing and hopeful which is my ideal kinda film lol)

the simpsons - i watched this religiously as a kid (every night at 6pm on channel 4 lol) so much so that my family makes jokes that everything i know i know from the simpsons lol...

would i lie to you? (uk panel show) - i feel like this show really explains a lot of my style of humour (i've literally nearly pissed myself whilst watching this show at times lol), plus i've had a crush on david mitchell for years which like no that isn't relevant to this list but i'm including it anyway... one of my fav clips is 'lee mack's keys' (give it a search on youtube it's hilar lol)

watership down (1970s animated film, i also love the book too btw) - the animation style of the very first part of this film has literally never left me, it's like ingrained onto my brain as the most incredible thing ever! the rest of the film is also amazing, albeit brutal at times which definitely fucked me up as a kid... esp that evil rabbit (wormwort?), pretty sure i was terrified of him lol

hook (1990s film (yes i know i could look up the exact date but i'm not gonna cos i'm lazy)) - this is one of the films that i know so many quotes from & me and my family use them to each other all the time lol (you're doing it peter! RUFIO RUFIO RU FI OHHHHH you're. afraid. you're. going. to. get. sucked. out. stop acting like a child!! i am a child!? RUN HOME JACK RUN HOME JACK wait...HOME RUN JACK HOME RUN JACK don't stop me smee don't stop me stop me smee stop me ... you get the picture lol) robin william's films just have a special place in my heart and this is one of the best imo

gayle (youtube comedy series) - it's embarrassing how much i think about this series & i literally rewatch it at least once every year so... i feel like that says a lot about me... idk WHAT exactly it says but it is.. it's a lot lol

i'm a cyborg but that's ok (2008(??) film) - if you asked me what my favourite park chanwook film is, you'd probs guess i'd pick the handmaiden, but you'd be so so so wrong, because THIS film is an absolute masterpiece that hasn't left me since my sister showed it to me like 10 years ago lol... it's about mental illness and stigma and grief and love and also rain (the singer) yodels in it whilst flying through the air it's great

labyrinth (1986 film (hey i actually remembered the date lol!) - i'm been thinking for ages what final thing to include and realised it had been staring me in the face: labyrinth, literally my favourite film of all time lol! it's equal amounts comedic, creepy, emotional, plus david bowie is there in ALL his glory (some may say too much glory but i'd tell them to shut their goddamn mouths lol)! the songs are amazing, the ballroom scene literally shaped who i am now.. it's a film about adolescence, siblings, it's about friendship and found family, it's about growing up but also keeping your childhood close at heart, should you need it... it's also about david bowie's bul- *gunshot*

that's all folks! i did try and not just include stuff that i'm nostalgic about, but unfortunately nostalgia is my middle name so most of these are things i've connected to for a very long time...

tagging (no pressure to actually do it ofc, the original prompt is 8 shows i think but you can essentially change it to 8 anything in my book lol): @dollopheadsandclotpoles @wovesaxe @micamicster @platypusplayhere @sylvasa @asoftspotforangels @zelvuska

[strapinandstraponyourstrapons]

apologies in advance:

sooooooooooo this prompted me to go ahead and make a thiam playlist and an honest to god graph with each song and my headcanons about them, which i have un-graphed and put below. in my defence, i had other tasks i didnt want to do so my adhd/thiam brain rot went brrrrrrr

its not in any particular order except the first three songs. the first two are from thiam moments in the show and the third is from the fandom. the rest are just me projecting thiam onto a bunch of the songs i listen to regularly because i’m literally thinking about these two idiots all the time and it’s fine i’ll get therapy one day. also feel free to ignore, like, all of this. i know absolutely nobody cares except me but like i physically could not restrain myself from doing this.

unless anyone does care, in which case please tell me your thiam songs  and headcanons because i love this shit sm!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/23lQqA3OtZen4Zsoxwq8vG?si=3e9830ed2f7b4999

Wildest Ones - Zayde Wolf

from the scene where theo reverses into the ghost rider :)

Nobody Knows (feat. WYNNE) - Autograf

that conversation in theo’s truck after the zoo. as far as i’m concerned this is THE thiam song.

The Great War - Taylor Swift

i have seen sooooooo many ts songs associated with thiam in this fandom bc… you’re all mentally well cisgendered straight people, obviously (sarcasm)

anyway have seen multiple posts about this particular song being thiam and i agree.

Blackened and Bruised - Nakhane

omg this song is so THEM to me i almost don’t have words i just… ugh. the first verse to me is like theo wanting at first to dismiss the things about liam that keep carving his heart open and leaving him vulnerable, but he can’t. he loves liam and his emotions that theo should find stupid and just a weakness to manipulate. he can’t help but want to protect liam from the dangers of the world, and from himself, so that he won’t end up like theo.

~i thought i said keep it far away from me, don’t get it closer, keep it far away from me. tell me your fears young man, so we can laugh at them, like me laughing at the growl of a raging pup~

and for liam, he’s surprised when he looks at theo and begins to see the boy that the dread doctors did their best to kill. the truly good boy they corrupted, that taught them how to do it with mason.

~i never thought i’d find what i found in you. amongst the warring crowds you saw me too. and now i know i love what they hated in you. we’ll get it back, what they took from you~

Chimera - HANA

other than bc of the name, this is one of my favourite songs ever and i had to include it. i feel like this song is about an enemy hurting liam and theo being like “honey, you’ve got a big storm comin :D”

~the things i could do, if you only knew, you’d pray that i cut you loose~

Play Destroy - Poppy and Grimes

listening to this song i got an image in my head of theo and liam going to the dread doctors’ old lab (i think they make their way around to all the places the dread doctors have ever been that theo knows about tbh) and just going bonkers with baseball bats and crowbars and their claws. the rest of the puppy pack probably comes sometimes too to let off steam and get to feel like stupid teenagers hanging out and destroying property. for liam it helps with the anger sometimes and for theo it’s one of the more lighthearted ways he can face some of his traumatic past

~this is how we play it, this is how we play destroy~

Getaway Ride - Ramona Lisa

partially due to airplanes and the way they freakin zoomed outta beacon hills (and later the motel in idaho) like they were being pursued, but also these boys’ love story has so much to do with that big blue compensation truck <3

~no talking, baby, just the slam of the doors of our getaway ride~

Slip Away - Perfume Genius

not only a song about gay love but about ignoring what everyone else has to say about it, which may be necessary when your boyfriend is a reformed murderer

~they’ll never break the shape we take~

Bullet With Butterfly Wings - The Smashing Pumpkins

my headcanon is that theo sets the chorus as liam’s ringtone to be a little shit, and when liam finds out he protests that he is very much not a rat.

~despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage~

Wolves - Garbage

honestly we’re lucky i only snuck one garbage song on here. when i listen to this one i think of liam as the first verse and theo as the second, while they’re still at a stage where all they can do is take their anger out on each other, but tbh the entire thing could also be theo having the emotional range of a teaspoon

~i was busy picking up the pieces of my broken heart, i stand accused and maybe on reflection got a little cruel~

SELF-SABOTAGE - Waterparks

this is straight up just theo not knowing how to do feelings or let himself have anything nice

~i’ll destroy chances to be better than i was before you and me… what the fuck is wrong with me?~

Soft Universe - AURORA

couldn’t be a playlist of mine without several aurora songs. this one is about thiam hiding in their own safe, soft little world in each others’ company

~chaos came, we laid our head down on the feather cotton bed, you find a heart and catch your breath, let the universe go red~

Ocean of Tears - Caroline Polachek

it also couldn’t be a playlist of mine without several cp songs. i think this one is about knowing they’re going to fall in love, even though it will take time before it becomes easy for either of them

~this is gonna be torture, before it’s sublime, does that make it crazy?~

Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears

they scream this in the truck with the windows down at some point. i don’t have a good reason why, this song just contains the serotonin and i need that in my life

~help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever~

Boys Do Cry - Piff Marti

this one kinda goes on the puppy pack playlist i made in tandem with this one but i fully know for a fact that mason holds the the aux in theo’s truck hostage to play this on multiple occasions and sends the link in their dms or the puppy pack chat whenever he feels it’s relevant, so much that theo just looks at the link and rolls his eyes bc he knows. i mean what are friends for if not to bully you into looking after yourself. like “your mental health is an actual joke fam go to therapy. ily, drink water” kinda thing.

~if you cry because you sad you ain’t no bitch, you a bitch if you let it eat you up til the point it get lethal and cause you let it build up you done took it out on your people, especially ones that treat you with love~

Awoken - Glaze

god this song is just classic reformed villain angst and i love it to death. there’s really nothing to be said except that this song is l i t e r a l l y theo. literally.

~i’ve stoked the fire, seen more pain than you can know, the tears of the broken have washed away my soul, pushed by desire to change the way my stream will flow, now i’ve awoken and i’m taking back control~

Weregild - Grimes

this song lyrically makes about as much sense as any early grimes songs and summed up is kinda just like “imma getchu” but look it mentions werewolves and i vibe with it. it makes me imagine theo teaching liam to full shift and them going on runs in the preserve at night.

~werewolves, werewolves, skies will brighten~

Bloom For Me - Pearly Drops

honestly this song is so euphoric i just want to bless more ppl with it but anyway this song is liam knowing when theo is covering up his emotions and liam being the only person theo can’t hide from or lie to

~there is a cord winding around your core, the more you fight the more that you will choke~

Billions - Caroline Polachek

BOOM i told you caroline would make another appearance (technically this is her third bc ramona lisa is a pseudonym but shhhhhhh). this song is just sexy and theo is definitely psycho, priceless, and good in a crisis.

~salty flavour, lies like a sailor, but he loves like a painter~

Gentle Earthquakes - AURORA

apparently this portion of the playlist is just “they fuck” but ummm look. anyway i only realised from hearing aurora talk about it explicitly that this song is literally about orgasms because its so gorgeous and sweet. it simply has to go here because i’ve read some truly wholesome smut scenes in this fandom when i never expected to. and i just think its neat :) 

~twisted body parts moving synchronised, watching lightning strike in my lover’s eyes, all the flowers grow to a luscious field, all connecting love becomes a human shield~

Violence - Grimes, i_o

aaaand grimes is back, fight me about it. this song is about begging someone to do violence on you which like… nuff said.

~you wanna make me bad, pay me back, and i like it like that, said i like it like that~

does anyone have any thiam playlists/songs?

[fmdsooaharchive]

CHO SOOAH — PLAYLIST #12 & SELF-PARA #22 (CURATED PLAYLIST)

SUMMARY: Sooah hasn't touched a puzzle in ages, and since the opportunity was given to her, she decides to use that one hour of her day to do something she used to do with her family.  WC: 510

( LINK TO THE PLAYLIST )

Chega de Saudade - João Gilberto

Self-portrait 자화상 - Hwang Puha

Listen to this song - Kassy

Juliette - Standing Egg

Home - Bruno Major

Manhattan - Sara Bareilles

Dandelion (full ver.) - OOHYO

You Matter To Me (feat. Jason Mraz) - Sara Bereilles

Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop - Daniela Andrade

Lovely - The Brilliance

I Will - Imaginary Future

Cor De Marte - ANAVITÓRIA

YOUR SONG (With Lee Jin A, Jung Seung Hwan, Kwon Jin Ah) - Sam Kim

Moon River - JJ Heller

Maybe a Love Song - Nataly Dawn

Fine Line - Harry Styles

Sooah thinks it’s a little bit weird to do things and not interact with the camera directly. Maybe that’s all because she was so used to being active when people started recording her, so the opposite is very strange for her. It’s not a bad change, though. She thinks it’s nice that they are doing something like this, so different from the standard, but in the beginning, she was especially aware of all the cameras surrounding her.

She’s not a person of many talents and, because this was supposed to be, theoretically, a low-budget activity, Sooah came up with the first thing that came to her head and suggested putting together a jigsaw puzzle. The apartment they rented for the one hour of filming was nice and had big windows that showed the Han River just perfectly.

A bowl of fruits at hand, a cup of orange juice, and a hundred-piece puzzle placed right in front of her should be enough to fill up the hour-long video they had to work on. Despite having done this before, she felt glad that the staff didn’t overestimate her abilities in this and gave her a fairly small one to work on.

She did it just like her father had taught her when she was little. Work on the outer pieces first and then focus on the inside. “It’ll be easier that way,” it’s what he used to tell her when they had enough time to work on projects like this. The thought made her heart warm despite her missing her family. At least she could have this hour to think of them and reminisce what they used to do together. No one would have to know what’s going on in her mind after all.

Every piece that she placed in the right spot caused her to smile. She felt comfortable, or at least comfortable enough to sit on the floor and forget for a moment that she was being recorded. Scowls of concentration that she was certain no one had ever seen on camera before and Sooah biting the nail of her little finger when she couldn’t seem to find the right way to approach a part of the puzzle. She occasionally stopped to eat a grape or drink more of her juice. At some point past the half an hour mark, Sooah just laid back on the floor, staring at the ceiling as she listened to the song playing and let that sink in.

She doesn’t know if people realize how music is a constant company to most people and how it follows them even without realizing it.

An hour flies by way too quickly to her liking. Her puzzle might be complete, but there are still fruits waiting for her in the bowl, and there’s probably one finger left of her juice. But her playlist is over, and it’s time to finish it.

Sooah pops a grape in her mouth and hugs her legs close to her body as she looks out of the window. The sun just started setting.

[sunlightandsuffering]

Prompt : they are both famous and secretly dating.

tbh I don't know what this is or if it makes any sense at all, so sorry anon for butchering ur prompt, but I'm a basic bitch and I like my drake, so like this is gonna be pain bcuz my favourite song on the new album is just pain and I can't stop thinking about a fucked up celebs relationship to it, just ANGST AND PAIN!! 😭😭 but those lyrics hit, can't believe I wrote a song fic ugh circa Tumblr 2015 jfc I'mma write a happier ending to this in another prompt 😂 bc someone else asked for the same thing.

Fucking Fans

I'm still working on me

Eren stands at the Met Gala, holding Mikasa by the waist, giving a cramped smile for photos and keeping her close. People call their names and cameras flash and his beloved blinks, hiding her face into his shoulder as the lights overwhelm her.

He looks down at her lovingly as some jackass reporter yells about a cheating rumour and her pretty face pinches up. Eren is quick to comfort her with his touch, both hands gripping her waist reassuringly as he decides it's time for them to go inside.

"Come on Miki," he kisses her forehead and she nods, accepting. Neither of them wants to think about those rumours, the damage and the pain they bring up is too much and it's all his fault, he knows, but he can't undo it.

The guilt eats at him and she holds his hand tighter, the despair takes him and she cuddles him at night.

They're together now but sometimes Eren wonders just how it happened, how he came back from falling so far. How she took him back when he fucked up so massively.

And I'm coming back better for you

The day he shows up on her door step again is the day of the biggest awards show of the season, the one he knows she's going to kill and probably sweep several categories. Just because she's that amazing. He finds her where he expects, in her apartment, the address Armin gave him, doing her own hair and makeup, humble Mikasa just like always, ironing out her own dress. He shows up in a suit with as many white roses as he can fit into a bouquet and ready to leave if she still hates him, which she has every right to.

But he's been through months of therapy, gave Armin control of his bank account, and check himself into rehab thrice, every time he was even inching closer to relapse.

He's not fixed, but he's better, marginally, and he wants her to know it, know he still loves her at the very least.

She opens the door, beautiful even without makeup, and wearing a white slip and her pretty red mouth parts in shock.

All he can do is hold out his roses as tears leave his eyes at seeing her for the first time in months.

Most times it was my selfishness and your helplessness that I took advantage of

It was so easy with Mikasa, she was so devoted to him. So loving and sweet, always there for him.

She'd wait up, let him do what he wanted, never wanting to stifle or control him. Too afraid their tenuous relationship would crack and they'd break up.

A part of him blames her for it, for being so willing to let him do what he wanted. She'd been passive, unsure how to insert herself, had minimal complaints, letting him ruin his life party by party, late night after late night, drugs and alcohol all of it.

But he knows he can never hold her accountable for his own actions, and the day she's finally done with his bullshit is both the best and worst day of his life. She finally says no, and it begins his path to fixing himself. Because hitting rock bottom is losing the most important thing in his life, and that's Mikasa.

You sit in the house and I be out and I know you're worried, up

The problem with her passivity is he knows it's not passivity at all, she just doesn't know what to do, how to fix him. Eren has always had a temper, and she's known him for a long time, knows he'll lash out and behave worse if provoked. So she'd reacted as best she could, leaving rehab pamphlets out, asking him to stay in and watch movies, bake with her, anything other than going out to party.

But he'd stumble home every night and see her asleep on the couch, waiting. Always there to pick him up instead of a cab, not wanting the paparazzi to get a hold of him, she was always there.

And you try and block it out

They lived in a bubble, they pretended it didn't happen. They didn't acknowledge when he was too hungover to shoot the next morning. She'd brew him coffee, get him through the day, flush his drug stash when they checked, both his saving grace and biggest enabler.

Even when he's kissing her for more than just an on-screen kiss, lips drinking her in like a man starved, and the next morning she finds new girls in his bed, she keeps quiet.

They're a mess, but every time she dutifully kicks the girls out and drags him to the shower.

I'm so sorry for letting you down

When he'd first become famous, he hadn't known what to do with himself. He'd been scouted for how many movies, tv-shows, underwear commercials, brand deals. It was a whirlwind as Hollywood found their new boy wonder, handsome, smart and a nice boy.

His best friend, and female love interest in their debut movie, Mikasa, who had followed him to Hollywood on nothing more than a whim, was equally bombarded with fame and fortune. They'd always been close, always best friends, but never quite more, no matter how much they both obviously wanted it. It never progressed beyond a few acted kisses.

Still, they got an apartment together, and Eren had thought it was the start of something great, he was living the dream. Rich and famous with his best friend, the girl he'd secretly loved since he was young.

He'd been content just to stay up late and watch movies with her before work, to visit her on set and bring her donuts. They were Hollywood's shining stars, two kids sickeningly sweet in love even though they weren't officially dating, they were as good as.

At the advice of his agent, he'd started doing more, started picking up a few other gigs on the side, modelling, but he kept it small, he didn't want to overwhelm himself, and he still wanted time for Mikasa.

It had gone well, they'd taken fame okay, and Eren had been proud, neither of them had a sex-scandal or a pregnancy scare yet. They'd even been inching towards finally being something more than just friends, a few heated looks, some on-stage kisses to finally get the ball rolling.

Then Mikasa had been cast in an upcoming romance movie and her love interest hadn't been Eren, it had been Jean.

That had been the start of his spiral.

He'd never meant for it to get so far out of control, how many movies he started doing, how many promotions. Meanwhile Mikasa, smart, brilliant Mikasa stuck with smaller projects and only ever one at a time, preferring to keep close to their apartment. He was all she had, and she was all he wanted.

Nights when I just needed to hold somebody

He misses her, lays in bed awake at night thinking about her, how long it’s been, when was the last time he saw the curve of her face in person and not in a washed-out picture on a magazine. Girls in and out of his apartment, trying to fill the empty void inside him, and nothing works, nothing ever works. Because he’d fucked it up, said he didn’t need her, told her he could do it on his own, fame wouldn’t take him. Called each other names, every one in the book, screaming matches over stupid shit, if he should take that job, what she was doing with Jean, how she was eating, if she was eating enough.

The toxicity was palpable in their apartment until finally Mikasa just left and he broke.

Feeling overwhelmed, should've told somebody

Fame takes him like a drug addiction, actually it comes with a drug addiction, heroine, cocaine, molly, all of it. In trying to ditch his Hollywood’s sweetheart, good boy image he diverts his life so radically he doesn’t know if he can ever get back to where he was. He loses weight, barely gets by, he doesn’t even understand how he’s still getting booked, but people want him even more now that he’s Hollywood’s bad boy. Meanwhile Mikasa is disgraced now that he’s ‘thrown her away’ even though it was the other way around. Last he heard she lived in a little apartment on the upper east side, leaves only to work, and to fly up to see their families. He hasn’t seen his parents in months, doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to see the look in their eyes when they realize how skinny he’s gotten, how his body lacks muscle, skin barely clinging to bone, gaunt and lifeless.

He needs help, but he’s spiraling, he’s committed and no matter how many times Armin tries to get him into rehab, he never goes. What’s the point Mikasa is gone, he’s not getting her back, all he has now is the money, the drugs, and the women.

Picturin' it's me sending chills through your body

He hears she’s dating Jean now and somehow, he gets worse.

Every fear he’d ever had comes to life and he gets angry, his temper coming back full force. The past few months he’d barely been getting by, not really living, but his rage awakens him. She’d told him no, that they weren’t dating, never so much as kissed outside of work. What a fucking lie.

How many girls he takes home that month he doesn’t know, how many paparazzi photos of women leaving his apartment, how he dreams it’s Mikasa under him, not some rando.

He sees her on the cover of some magazine, walking innocently with Jean and it sends him into even more of a rage, but under it all he wishes it was him, doesn’t matter that they were never official, that it only happened a few times, he wants her back. But Eren’s never been good at navigating his emotions, so he clings to his rage like a lifeline.

I just probably should've chilled 'til I saw you

When they ask about her in interviews, he doesn’t answer. Not until that once, when he lets it slip and he watches Armin wilt in real time from behind the camera as he spits the words, “I think it’s obvious, she’s with Jean now isn’t she, right after she was with me, figure it out yourself.”

The insinuation is lethal, cruel, mean and he knows it’s not true, but he says it anyway. He knows she didn't do it, but still the coincidence hurts too much, the very thought that there might have been something romantic going on with them before makes him want to throw up.

The interviewer looks shocked before he brightens up at the tidbit of information, like a vulture picking apart the last pieces of his heart, massacring it further, but Eren doesn’t mind the pain anymore. It fuels his rage and that’s all he has these days.

How am I supposed to get to know somebody?

When the rage wears off months later and Mikasa has done nothing, no comment on his interviews, no appearances, no angry texts, just silence, he becomes numb. Then the sadness sets in, because losing her romantically isn’t even the worst part, he doesn’t even have his best friend anymore, he’s lost her too.

She’s become a recluse, a hermit, he hasn’t even seen her with Jean on the magazine covers lately. Distantly he knows it’s because their movie is finished filming, and she was probably never dating him in the first place.

He goes to awards shows in hopes of at least catching a glimpse but she’s gone into hiding, there’s rumours she’s back in their hometown, but he’d never visit, not with the disgrace he’s become. He tries to date seriously, tries to talk to other actresses, but it’s all so vacant, disingenuous. All they want him for is his image, there’s nothing real about these women anymore, everything is fake, plastic right down to their boobs. Nothing like Mikasa, who was pure to her core, even in the face of her fame.

If we broke it off then you know it wasn't painless

He'd cried for weeks after she'd ended it, despite it being entirely his fault.

Armin had cancelled all his engagements and Eren hadn't left the apartment, curling himself up on her empty mattress, her room a barren wasteland.

He'd only eaten when Armin forced him too, and only come out of his hibernation after his mother had called to yell, Armin holding the phone right in his ear, the first time he'd spoken to her in forever.

If she got a watch then you know it's not a stainless

He’s got money, but it means nothing. Mikasa has money too, it doesn’t even matter. What has it all been for? He doesn’t even know anymore. All he’s gotten from his acting career is trust issues, more money than he knows what do with and the loss of his best friend and the only girl he’s ever loved.

It’s all a blur now, he acts, he models, he does PR. Armin makes him a schedule and he follows it. They meet with his nutritionist and his personal trainer, and he starts working out again, eating real food, not just smoking, and drinking coffee to supress his appetite.

Armin is the only reason he’s still a functioning human being as Eren hits rock bottom. The only one left to try and push him out.

I was out here fucking fans, I was shameless

He knows he fucked up, it’s why he starts therapy.

The shit he’d done, high off his own fame and arrogance, it’s messed up and he he knows it now. All the girls, all the money and the drugs, ignoring Mikasa’s concerns, dragging her down with him.

He doesn’t blame her now, he knows none of it was fair, she was justified in leaving. They were toxic, their half on, half off relationship, how he'd commit to the drugs but never her.

He can still remember the first time he kissed her, really kissed her, Eren and Mikasa not two characters on screen. It was after their first awards show for their movie, he’d been so excited, so delightfully sober, he couldn’t help himself, she’d been so pretty in her white dress, he’d leaned down before he could stop himself. The first night they’d had sex, her moans, her soft cries of pleasure, nothing had ever measured up since.

It had been bliss, for about a month or so and then they’d really been discovered, and it had all been shot to hell.

All the fans, all the women throwing themselves at him, his eyes couldn’t help but wander despite Mikasa always being the most radiant in the room. He had her love, he’d had everything, but that insidious voice in the back of his head had wondered. Thought the grass was greener on the other side, wanting to explore fame at the same time they’d finally started their relationship.

You was at the crib reading stories that they sent you

They’d kept it casual at Eren’s insistence and Mikasa’s heartbreak, his rock had been willing to allow it for him, for the chance to finally explore their relationship. But he could see how much it hurt her, the tabloids were the worst part, every day a new cover, another apartment he’d leave, another hookup in the parking lot. And he could barely justify it to himself, why he did it, why he continued to do it? He had everything he could ever want in Mikasa, the girl he’d loved since forever, finally in the palm of his hand, willing to give herself wholly to him.

And yet fame had called him more, and the people he was hanging out with only encouraged it, the famous lifestyle, drugs, sex and rock and roll.

Everyone was doing it, so why shouldn’t he?

Most of that was bullshit but some of it I did do

The rumours spiralled out of control after a while, there was nothing he could do, it was over, they had too much on him.

He'd been telling himself lies that maybe she was with Jean on the side, that she had the same opportunities as him, she could go out and sleep around too.

As if Mikasa would ever even consider it.

He’d finally given into being exclusive, seeing the toll it was taking on Mikasa, after Armin smacked him upside the head and told him he was going to lose her if he didn’t get his shit together. Eren had finally realized how irreversibly he was fucking up his relationship, but by then, it had been too late.

When they finally started truly dating, monogamy and all, it had been far, far too late. The backlog of photos the paparazzi had was ridiculous, any opportunity they got to demonize him they took.

He and Mikasa been casual at the time of all the photos, sure, but anyone would buckle under the weight of constant articles about their significant other cheating. Eren became the villain in his own story, and Hollywood loved it, ‘Bad Boy Eren Yeager Ditches Mikasa Ackerman’. He still remembers the headline, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, she’d come home, dropped the offending magazine on the coffee table and hidden in her room for the rest of the night. He’d slept outside her door, and the next morning he’d been woken by her stepping over him to leave, bags packed.

It was sad, they’d never even officially dated to the public, they hadn’t gotten to that point. She’d wanted to reveal it at some awards show by taking him as her date, thanking him in her speech, her boyfriend, Eren Yeager. Overnight the paparazzi had singlehandedly broken them up for shit he hadn’t even done.

He had no one but himself to blame.

Hard for me to justify the women I was into

Looking back, he can’t say why he did it or what the purpose of all the models that looked eerily like her were for. Maybe he was trying to fill the empty space in his heart, maybe he felt neglected by her friendship with Jean and how obvious the man’s feeling for her were, but for one reason or another, he’d slept his way through about half of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and award shows were awkward these days. Meeting the eyes of all the talented women he’d hooked up with in such a professional setting was uncomfortable at best.

How many more did he not even remember, to high off drugs and alcohol and his own ego?

Especially when the whole entire world wished they had you

He’d seen it in how Jean looked at her the first time they’d walked the red carpet as promotion for their movie. The tall man was a b-list actor and he’d been invited to the pre-screening, and he’d watched Mikasa the entire night. His gaze wasn’t moved by Eren’s arm wrapped protectively around her waist or his chin resting on her head, nor the possessive hand on her thigh.

They hadn’t even been fooling around back then, but he couldn’t help himself, he didn’t want Jean’s eyes on her. She was also Mikasa Ackerman, and the whole world thought she was just as beautiful and amazing and perfect as he did.

But she was his. His best friend, love of his life, his everything

If only he’d treated her like it.

Probably made you want to hit the streets on everything

She doesn't take him to the awards show the night he comes begging, but she lets him inside her apartment. Lets him help her with her hair, something he's sorely missed. Something he's familiar with, been braiding her hair since they were kids.

He helps her put it up into a beautiful twist.

And when Jean knocks at her door to take her to the awards show he lets her go, kisses her cheek and tells her how much he loves her, how she's going to win it all and he'll be waiting her when she gets back.

And then she leaves, walks away with another man and Eren thinks he deserves it, it's his penance, how many times has she felt this same way, how many women has he been through?

Probably made you want to pour bleach on everything

He discovers not a single remnant of himself in her apartment, no pictures, no clothes she's borrowed. Even his old sweatshirt, her favourite one is gone. Hell, even their award for best-onscreen-kiss is gone.

He finds it all in a crumpled box under her bed and it's his own fault for snooping, their photo crumpled up and misshapen, riddled with water damage. Probably from her tears if he had to guess.

Probably made you want to kill me on everything

She comes home that night and Eren is surprised, he'd expected her to go to Jean's. Hadn't really believed she was going to come back. Had resigned himself to sleeping on the couch and waiting till tomorrow when she'd come home dishevelled and covered in hickeys and bruises, the kind good sex gives you. The kind he'd never really allowed himself to give her.

That's when she'd really broken and he'd been so fucking happy when she'd thrown her purse at him. No more of her her silent rage, her forced smiles. She'd kicked and screamed, cried in his arms only to hit him brutally with a pillow, chasing him to the end of the couch. Hands restraining his wrists, as she curses him out, tears running down her beautiful cheeks sparkling in the moonlight, she's a vengeful goddess and he deserves every second of her wrath.

She collapses on top of him in a heap of sobs and all he can do is hold her, hating himself just as much as he's sure she does.

Yeah, trust, I know that

He wakes the next morning with her weight in his arms, and he holds her like he never wants to let go.

He's lucky she's even here with him right now, that she didn't kick him out on the spot. That she even cares enough to still fight with him. He kisses her forehead softly, he knows.

Yeah I kinda hate this but whatever have angst 🤷🏻‍♀️

[thirstystarkey]

Bass Players 🦋 Rudy Pankow AU

Prompt: Y/N is forced by her best friends to attend the most desired underground rock band, against her will she goes. But what happens when she gets stuck with one of the band members? Will she discover the why they say bass players have the best fingers or will she just ignore him?

Warnings: mention of drugs and alcohol, sex, various kinks including choking, overstimulation, public sex, this is just another script for pornhub tbh

MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN, IF YOU WANT TO SEND ME ANY BLURB OR PROMPT ABOUT THIS TROPE (y/n x rockstar!rudy) IM MORE THAN WILLING TO DO IT, LOVE YOU ALL 🥰💞✨

01

It all started when her roommates, who were also Y/N’s best friends, decided it was a perfect idea to attend a sweaty dirty concert just to droll over some dumbasses with good voices and cute faces. Y/N wasn’t in the mood to be stuck all night in the middle of drunk young adults but it was too late now, since her friends had already dragged her to the venue, the least she could do now was to enjoy herself as much as she possible could.

That of course until something went wrong, Y/N got separated from her friends during the last two songs and with the crazy crowd it was nearly impossible to find them again so she decided she was more than done for today. Her feet hurted from being stepped on and her head was killing her beside she smelled like a mixture of her own perfume and smoke.

As Y/N walked away from the crowd she could still hear them scream for the other band in line who was almost ready to enter the stage. Honestly she had absolutely no idea where she was going but it didn’t stopped her from trying to escape.

Y/N found a dark corridor, lighted up with blue lights where a few poster and guitars where hanged up on the walls so she followed it, in hopes it would lead her to the main exit, but when she was just passing by the middle something hit her head with such force that she fell backwards into the ground.

“What the fuck.” That was the first thing that came out of her annoyed mouth, both brows frown together as her head spinned.

“Oh my god, oh no oh shit.” Y/N heard a male voice speak, in panic, assuming it was the cause of her fall but she couldn’t bother in opening her eyes.

Once Y/N opened her eyes and saw the famous bassist Rudy Pankow in front of her, her the first reaction was to roll her eyes. He had changed into a black tshirt and his hair was wet all over the place, probably he showered after his show. Which made her think, was she roaming for that long? The night couldn’t get worse.

“Are you okay?” He asked, kneeling in front of her. Y/N was supporting her body in her forearms. When she opened her mouth to speak Rudy panicked again and placed his hand over her mouth, in fear she would scream and bring attention to him. “Please don’t scream!” He begged in a yell whisper.

“Get your disgusting hands off my face, I’m not going to scream you conceited ass.” Y/N chided pushing him off of her.

“Feisty one I see.” Rudy looked at her, up and down but before he could say anything loud screams interrupted him.

Out of other option the bassist grabbed Y/N’s hands pulling her back on her feet as he entered a room, that a few seconds later Y/N recognized as the males bathroom. She was more than done with the situation, rage was visible on her pupils as the screams pierced her ears.

“Ugh, fuck me.” Y/N whispered to herself, banging her head in the wall. At least it didn’t smelled like piss.

“Let me at least buy you dinner first.” Rudy joked and Y/N glared at him.

“This isn’t funny.” The girl sighed very frustrated. “And can you please give me room to breath?” She added while she pushed him away.

“Oh I’m so sorry miss, I think I forgot we are in a bathroom stall, next time I’ll find us a luxurious suite.” Rudy ironized.

“You aren’t funny and I don’t give a single fuck about your crazy fans so I’m leaving.” Snorted Y/N unlocking the door from the bathroom stall.

“You can’t leave. If anyone sees you leave and I follow I’m fucking dead with rumors and questions about “this mystery girl” He said with a loud frustrated groan. “Do you want to be that mystery girl?”

“I wanna go back to my normal life, so if you excuse me, I’m leaving.”

The moment Y/N tried to step outside the other door opened up and three blonde girls walked in like they were looking for something, or better, they looked like they were looking for water in the middle of the dessert and by dessert it reads the band members.

Rudy quickly pulled Y/N back into the stall with him before the other girls could find them, this time trapping her between his muscly arms back against the door, their luck was that the doors were long enough that from that outside no one could tell how many people where inside, because even if Y/N thought that the other girls looked dumb as hell they sure knew how to count until 4.

Y/N tried to speak but again Rudy placed his hand over her mouth tightly, making her stay silent until it was safe, but this time it was different. Their bodies were pressed so firmly against each other that Y/N could feel all of his muscles against her body and her breasts where pressed against his chest and her legs were trapped between his.

They both glared at each other, madly, Rudy just wanted her to stay quiet but every atom in her wanted to scream from the top of her lungs about how he thought he was the shit, sure Y/N couldn’t deny he was hot and that having his hand so close to her throat did made her wonder about other things but still he was an arrogant piece of shit and she was beyond mad and worried about her friends and how she would get home.

She tried to speak but everything came muffled due to his hand so she decided to bite his fingers, he immediately moaned in pain waving his hand trying to ease the stinging pain.

“You can’t stay quiet can’t you?” He whispered, done with her, in Y/N’s ear as he watched the skin of her neck shiver.

“Fuck you.” Y/N said looking straight at his eyes.

As they could hear the girls talk perfectly about the band Y/N made disgusted faces at their comments, especially the ones about Rudy, which made him boil he just didn’t understood why she didn’t like him. Everyone did.

“You know what they say about bass players right? Oh my god I just wish he did the same to me, fucking ruin me.” One of the girls said as they walked to the exist, Y/N cheeks automatically turned red as she tried to play it off by sticking her tongue out as if she was vomiting.

When the girls finally left Rudy pressed her even more to the bathroom stall door, he looked down at her, taking in her beautiful features.

“Can I go now?” Y/N questioned tapping her toe. Talking with him so close to her was difficult.

“Why don’t you like me?” He ignored her question.

“Oh for fucks sakes.” Y/N whined pushing him off, he sat in he toilet waiting for an answer. “Look it’s not like I hate you or something, your band is kinda good but I don’t know you so I can’t like you nor be obsessed over someone I don’t know!” Y/N explained to him like Rudy was a little child as she maneuver her hands in the her frenetically.

“So what you’re saying is if you knew me you would be crazy about me?” He teased her.

“In your dreams rockstar.” Y/N rolled her eyes trying to to laugh while she turned on her back to unlock the door but to her surprise it didn’t do anything. “Oh no.” She cried out in a whisper. “The door is locked.” Y/N stated looking at him. Rudy stood up quickly and in one small step his body was already closer to hers.

“Yes smartass, you just unlock it.” He said, without a doubt. “Or maybe not.” Rudy added after doing the same thing she did.

Great. Now she was stuck in a bathroom stall with a famous bassist, a very good looking one.

“Do something!” She order looking over her shoulder to see his face, realizing her back as pressed against his chest and their mouths were millimeters apart.

“I will just call someone.” He said, looking at her plump lips.

“Do it then idiot.” Y/N rolled her eyes trying to avoid the obvious tension as she pushed his chest.

Rudy quickly dialed some random number and after a couple seconds someone picked up.

“Yo man, I need your help. Where are you guys?” Rudy asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Y/N was fast to realize that by the looks on his face he didn’t had good news. Rudy looked at her and sat down again while he placed his phone back into his pocket.

“We are fucked. Drew said it would take them about an hour to come get us out.” He explained.

“What am I going to do in an hour? This is totally torture.” Y/N ramble.

“I hope you know a lot do girls would kill to be in your position.” He said, getting up with arms crossed around his chest.

“And what is exactly my position?” Y/N placed one hand over her hip as she spoke.

“Well, you are here, stuck with me. All alone. In this small bathroom stall. I can imagine a lot of scenarios in my head.” Rudy spoke slowly, taking his time with every words to take in all of her little reactions while he with just two steps got closer to her face.

“And what those scenarios include?” Y/N decided to play along, now not leaning into the door she almost closed the space between them.

“They include you and I and much less clothing.” He whispered in the shell of her ear.

“You know what, for someone who has so many girls dropping to their feet you are pretty stupid.” Y/N whispered back into his ear, laughing.

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[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[bqstqnbruin]

No one told you life was gonna be this way

clap clap clap clap

Get it?

But here I am with that request that was sent in FOREVER AGO but I’m actually proud of this one. I haven’t been really happy with the stuff I’ve written in a while, but what are ya gonna do? This was requested from the fluff prompts, which I will still take (I think I still have one or two more currently ?) Sorry to the person who requested this the first time because for some reason the list shows up weird on my computer and the list only goes to 56 unless I’m on my phone but HERE WE ARE ANYWAY 

65. "So, we're just going to ignore the fact that you drunk-dialed me to tell me you love me?"

EDIT: so I really loved this one and noticed that no one has every reblogged it (probably because everyone hates the Bruins but Gryz deserves more attention TBH), so I edited it a bit, added stuff, rewrote parts, and here we are! 

Flashbacks are in italics!

________________________________

“How come you haven’t gone out on a date in a while?” your roommate, Emily, asks you, plopping down next to you on the couch for what would be another night inside watching Netflix, snacking on popcorn from Trader Joes, and drinking wine. 

“No guy has asked me out in a while?” you shrug, taking a large sip of your wine.

“Then why don’t you ask a guy out? You know plenty of single ones.” 

“I’m not interested in the ones that I know,” you say. She knows you’re lying. You’re well aware that you’re lying, but you’re not going to tell her that. Your entire friend group knew that you’ve had a crush on Matt pretty much since they day you met.

You were sitting in the dining hall at BU during your freshman year. You only knew Emily, but she had managed to make what seemed like millions of friends in the first two weeks, always surrounded by people while you watched from the outside. You were sitting there trying to keep up with the conversation they were having but not concentrating at all. 

“Hey, Gryz!” one of the guys yells, calling over to a babyface, blue eyed boy to come sit at the only available seat across from you. He sits down, giving you a small smile before you both turn your attention back to the conversation. There was something about him that you found yourself going back to looking at him, unable to hold the stare for more than a few seconds before turning back to whoever was talking so that he wouldn’t notice. 

Before Emily and her friends had joined you at the table, you were working on some stuff for class, a pencil and pen still laying there on the table. You absentmindedly pick up the pen, using it to push around the pencil. You weren’t sure how long you had been doing that on your own when all of a sudden another pencil is shot in your direction. You look up, the cute guy you had only known as Gryz smiling at you, pen in hand. 

“Shoot it back,” he eggs on. You shoot the pencil across the table, it landing right in his lap. 

“Oh, come on, Matt,” Vinay says, “You’re on the goddamn hockey team.” Everyone at the table laughs, Matt’s face turning red.

“Let’s do a tournament. We’re all sitting across from someone else,” you suggest. 

“I’m not going against you again,” Matt teases, making Alex get up and switch seats with him. He can’t help but smile as you explain the rules to everyone, scrambling to find enough writing utensils for everyone to play.

“First one to get it off the table five times is the winner. The loser of the last round owes the winner a favor of their choosing,” you finish, everyone going unnecessarily crazy. 

You were the one who invented the game just then, which surprisingly played to your advantage. You made it to the final round no problem. Your opponent: Matt. 

“You’re gonna win,” Matt groans, you just smiling as Emily cheers you on.

And you do. Matt had to buy you breakfast from the diner off campus every weekend for a month as his favor to you. The two of you went every weekend, and you wanted nothing more than for it to be a date each time. 

But you didn’t know if he wanted that, too. He seemed to be the only one who didn’t notice that you were absolutely smitten with him. Either that, or he didn’t really care. But regardless, you weren’t about to ask him out and find out that he only thought of you as a friend. And that’s probably why you don’t want to go on a date, you think to yourself. Part of you is still hoping that there’s something there between you and him. Why date other people when you can just wait for the person who’s right there and will never want to date you, right?

“What if I set you up with someone?” Emily suggests, earning what was probably an unnecessarily mean laugh to escape from your lips. 

“Yes, because we all know that’s going to end well.” Emily means well; she’s tried to set you up on blind dates before, but they normally end with you going home by yourself because you were too busy comparing the guy to Matt, or finding something wrong with them. It always came down to the same thing: they weren’t Matt. 

“Ok, fine. How about this weekend we go out and just have fun? You and me. If we find someone to like hookup with, consensually, then we go for it.” 

You give a heavy sigh, staring at your glass of wine. You don’t want to get with another guy. You were crushing hard on Matt, and you didn’t see yourself trying to go for anyone else until the crush was gone. “Fine, sure. It’s a date,” you say reluctantly, knowing that you really didn’t have a choice.

----------- 

“What are your plans for the weekend, Y/N?” Matt asks you, leaning against the counter in your kitchen. At least once every other week, you and Emily, Lydia and Jake, Vin and Alex, and Matt would rotate who would have the group over for dinner at one of the four apartments. This week was your and Em’s turn. Since she could really only make pasta, you were in the kitchen making burgers for everyone while Matt was helping you with whatever sides he could scrounge up from your cabinets. 

“Em and I are going out somewhere. She thinks I need to get out more.” You turn to him. He’s looking down at the cutting board, concentrating on the peppers he’s cutting. A single strand of hair falls in his face. You just want to brush it out of his face, him to look up at you with those blue eyes you loved, smile at you and -

No. No. You shake your head, turning back to the burgers before he can realize you were even looking at him. “Where are you headed to?” he asks, you not sure if he looked up.

“No clue, she just wants to go out so we can, like, hook up with someone,” you shrug, noticing that he stopped cutting the peppers. He was probably done chopping, anyway. If he was done, though, he would have asked what he could do next. It wasn’t like him to just stop. You take the last burger off the grill pan, and turn to him to see him just staring at the peppers, brow scrunched, almost looking upset. “Matt? Are you alright?”

 “Uh, yeah.” He clears his throat, throwing the peppers into the bowl for the salad you knew only the two of you would end up eating, anyway. “So, do you think you’re actually going to hook up with someone?” He was smiling, but there was something about the look in his eyes that made you think he wasn’t alright.

You chuckle, seeing the upset look in his eyes start to fade, “Probably not,” you shake your head, putting the burgers on buns, “You know me, I’m not into hooking up. Em just thinks I need a boyfriend so I don’t spend every night alone. She thinks my love life is D.O.A, just like in the Friends theme song.”

“What does D.O.A. even mean?”

“Dead on arrival. Basically my love life doesn’t exist.” Both of you laugh, Matt finally smiling with his eyes, “Which it does. Kind of. I mean, I’m interested in someone, so hooking up doesn’t seem that important when he’s around.” You stop for a minute, sort of shocked that you even admitted that you liked someone in the first place, much less admitted it to the guy you liked. 

He lets out another sigh, grabbing the bowls to bring to the living room where all your friends were, a smile on his face, that hurt look in his eyes reappearing. “Well, whoever that guy is, he’s really lucky.” 

------------------

“Oh. My. God!” Emily practically screams. She wouldn’t have to if the bar you went to wasn’t so loud, but when you tell her about what Matt said to you the other night, she started to lose it. Normally, she would just say you were reading into things too much, but hey, you were drunk. Everything was more interesting when you were drunk. 

“I know!” you scream back, mirroring Janice and Rachel. 

“What do you think that means?”

“I have no idea.” You take a long sip of the bottle of Corona that had only been in your hands for the last ten minutes. You end up finishing the bottle, swaying a little bit. Whoops. You were a little too drunk already, and the night was only just beginning. “I’ll be right back.” You had every intention of going to the bar and asking for water. But instead, you ended up in an outdoor area of the bar, one that was much quieter than inside, less crowded, more calm, almost soothing.

You take a deep breath, letting in fresh air. What would it be like if you told Matt you liked him? You can just picture telling him, even so much as pulling out your phone to find his contact. You could just hit the little call button next to his name. He would be asleep by now, seeing as he had practice tomorrow and a road trip. You would call him and leave him a message for him to find in the morning. You would say, “Hey, so, we’ve been acting weird around each other lately. Actually, we have been forever. And it might be drunk me talking, but it’s because I’m in love with you, and I have been. I’m not sure about what you’re feeling, but I know for me, it’s you. You. Ok, bye.” And then something great would happen the next morning, where he confesses his love to you, too. 

You always hoped that he would. The day he won the Beanpot, you thought he would. 

All the guys were celebrating, told to bring as many people as they wanted to the party, which, for some reason, you had to wear a dress for. You thought that Matt was going to invite the entire friend group: you all hung out together when ever you were free. You almost never saw one person from the group alone, but when you asked Emily why she wasn’t getting ready for the party Matt had invited you to, she had no idea what you were talking about. 

You show up at Matt’s place where you told him you were going to meet him. He was wearing a simple white button down, navy pants and brown shoes to complete the outfit. It was so simple, but, shit, that crush you had on him was driving you crazy looking at him. You could have sworn you heard him mutter something under his breath when he opened the door and saw you, when he took your hand to lead you inside to the rest of the guys who where there. He spent the entire night by your side, dancing, drinking, laughing.

“I didn’t tell you this before, but you look amazing,” he says, quiet enough for only you to hear while you were surrounded by the rest of his belligerently drunk teammates. 

You swallow hard, the alcohol and your crush making you swoon. “You look pretty great, too.” 

You should have just told him then and there. It would have made your senior year together much less distracting before he left to play for the Bruins anyway. 

But you didn’t do that, and you wouldn’t do that, now. There’s no way you have that sort of confidence to confess that you love one of your best friends. Nor would you do it because there’s the possibility of losing him instead. You put your phone away and head back inside to get that water and find Emily. 

There’s no way you could ever tell Matt that you like him. But what if you did?

-------------

“How much of last night do you actually remember?” Emily comes out of her room and into the kitchen, eyes barely open, hair a mess, makeup still on from last night, but now it was all smudged from having slept in it: the classic hungover look that the two of you tried desperately to avoid every time you went out, yet never did.

“I think we made out with some guys?” you say, not really sure. You knew you looked the same as here. All you needed was a good breakfast, which Matt should be coming over with once he got out of practice. 

“I remember a guy.” 

“Was his name Cory? Or Cody?” 

“Yours or mine?”

“Yes.” You both groan, really wishing you remembered what happened last night. You were sure that if you actually made out with the guys that nothing more happened besides that. No boys were present when you woke up, you remember coming home with only Em and no one else, unless she let someone in after. 

“I’m making coffee,” you say starting to get up. The room started spinning as you did, pretty much forcing you to sit back down. “I’m texting Matt to also bring coffee.”

‘Gotcha’

“I need water.” Emily whines, still not opening her eyes. Damn, you two really were dramatic. 

“You’re on your own for that. But get me some, too.” She manages to actually get up, coming back to your table with two glasses of water. Even the act of her putting the glass on the table a little too hard makes your head pound. You groan, downing the entire glass, putting your head down planning on staying there until Matt comes. 

When he knocks on the door, you groan again. “You’re getting that,” Emily says, refusing to lift her head up. 

You practically waddle over to the door, where Matt continues to keep pounding on it, each knock sending another throbbing pain through your head. You open the door, “There was no need to keep banging like that.”

“Well don’t you look beautiful.”

You turn to him, glaring, “Fuck you.” 

He laughs, bringing the food to the table, unpacking everything he got for the three of you; two black coffees, scrambled eggs for the three of you, bacon for him and Emily, chicken sausage for you, pancakes for him, waffles for Em, french toast for you, and the biggest container of home fries you’ve seen in a while that you knew would be split between you and Emily, even if Matt intended it to be for all three of you.

“This is the only reason we keep you around, you know,” Emily says, digging into the food.

“Yeah, we all know that’s true,” Matt says sarcastically, making eye contact with you as you pretty much scarf down the eggs. He has a smirk on his face like you should know what he’s talking about.

“What are you getting at?” you ask through mouthfuls. You were hungover, you didn’t need to be ladylike in front of him and Em. The expression on his face changes. His face is a mixture of confused and shocked like he’s surprised you don’t know whatever it is you’re supposed to know. 

“Uh, nothing.” He shakes his head, the strand of hair falling in his eyes as they turn from you to his food. 

The rest of the time is spent with you and Emily trying to piece together what happened last night. You had figured out: you got there, almost got denied entry because the bouncer thought your ID was fake. Then, you pretty much bee-lined your way to the bar where you both ordered two drinks to start off with, because the bar had a $10 minimum in order to use cards, and you had no cash. You started looking for guys to hook up with, seeing no one you liked. At one point you remember going outside, but you don’t remember what you did other than come back to find Emily with two guys. You were pretty sure they were the two guys you ended up making out with, but she seemed to disagree. She thought you two found two other guys to make out with, but then realized that was something she had talked about in the Uber ride home that was a hypothetical. You pretty much made out with the guys then left, not even remembering their names. You weren’t even sure you had asked them what their names were. But you didn’t care. You just needed to rehydrate yourselves and hope the remaining alcohol would be gone by later tonight.

Matt stayed quiet the entire time. He seemed off, but you had no idea why.

“Welp, that was good, but if you excuse me, I think I’m going to go pass out in my bed.” Emily gets up, leaving you alone with Matt.

He doesn’t say anything. There’s a weird tension in the room until you decide to cut it, “Gryz, what’s wrong?” 

He looks at you, upset. He takes in a breath before letting out, “So, we're just going to ignore the fact that you drunk-dialed me to tell me you love me?”

Your jaw drops. You remembered thinking about it, but you don’t actually remember going through with it. You thought it was just a drunken fantasy, that you would in theory tell him that you loved him. “I’m sorry, I did what?” 

“Do you not remember?” 

“No,” you admit. That part of the night was fuzzy. You remember going outside for air. You remember thinking about it. But you don’t remember doing it.

He just takes out his phone. “Do you want to hear the message you left me?” 

You don’t even know what words to say. You were scared of what the message said, but you just nodded your head anyway.

‘Hey, so, we’ve been acting weird around each other lately,’ your drunk voice from last night slurring through the speaker. It was the message you didn’t think you had sent, having no memory of actually dialing him in the first place. ‘Actually, we have been forever. And it might be drunk me talking, but it’s because I’m in love with you, and I have been. I’m not sure about what you’re feeling, but I know for me, it’s you. You. Ok, bye.’

You were mortified. You get up from the table, your hands on your face, “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter to yourself, starting to pace the kitchen. 

“Y/N-” Matt starts, getting up from the table to try to stop you from pacing. 

“No, it’s fine. If you want to leave I get it. I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I actually called you and told you that. What the fuck is wrong with me?” You can feel your friendship start to break now that you know what you did. How would he ever be friends with you knowing that you liked him? You could blame it on the alcohol. He heard you and Em talking about how drunk you guys got, it wouldn't be so unheard of that you were just calling people and saying things. “I was drunk. I didn’t mean it,” you lie to him.

“You didn’t?” He takes you by the arms, stopping you from pacing, pretty much forcing you to look him in the eye. He looks almost hurt that you said you were lying.

“Uh, yeah. What do you not want me to be?”

“Jesus, Y/N, I don’t know,” he says, letting go of you, starting to pace himself, running his hands through his hair. “You told me the other night that you had your eye on someone and part of me was hoping you were talking about me? But I didn’t even realize it until the other night when I remembered you were going out for the sole purpose of hooking up. How do you think I feel knowing that the girl I love doesn’t think I love her enough and has to go out and get someone else?”

It’s your turn to grab him by the arms to steady him. “And what about me? You’re in the National fucking Hockey League. You’re a professional athlete with this amazing life. You could get literally any girl you wanted, meanwhile I work at a job that I hate, that gives me enough money for me to have an extra ten dollars a month after I pay off all my bills and student loans. I can’t even get a guy to look at me unless Emily provokes it.” 

“You both love each other! Do something about it or shut up!” Emily yells from her room.

Emilys voice made both of you freeze. You had been too nervous to do something about it for all this time, were you about to change all of that now? 

You didn’t know who kissed who. You were probably still too hungover to even be able to tell, anyway. You didn’t even care. His lips moved with yours, his tongue swiping the bottom of your lip as you felt yourself start to smile that this was finally happening. You never thought that this would actually happen. 

[mego42]

For the WIP: timeline (I would love to see it! The Dean chapter was predictably great); Beth POV // 5+1; and/or tell me lies notes/outline, tell me lies snippets. Thank you!

THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME ANON (and also thaaank yooouuuu!!!! I am disturbingly pleased you enjoyed it, genuinely had no idea how people were gonna feel about that much dean)

dropping this under the cut bc mildest of spoilers but read more if you want to see the timeline in it’s freshly spreadsheeted (the doc version had lots of notes and spoilers so, no) and color coded glory bc apparently I’m really letting y’all in on what kind of nerd I am today.

am not currently accepting rebuttals or opinions on when anyone thinks canon 311 took place, the show doesn’t do linear time and most importantly, I do what I want.

V EXCITED ABOUT BETH POV TBH but I have a bunch of other stuff I have to finish first. like song. and my kinkmeme thing. and maybe a prompt fill I found the other day that’s like, 75% done. maybe even sex pollen depending on my mood, idk, they’re like, complete tonal opposites.

ANYWAY enjoy these tell me lies bits as a ty for asking.

the tell me lies notes/outline is mostly just me making notes while I reread the book on what events I want to use, what chapter they’d go in, whose pov would cover them (bc i thiiiiiiiink this would be alternating pov, idk, we’ll see how the overall breakdown comes out) and then my general notes on the backstory and themes I’m playing around with (the whole thing centers around identity and the perceptions we hang on to about ourselves and others)

I don’t have many snippets written but here’s one:

“Ahem!”

Beth breaks off mid-sentence and both of their heads swivel in unison. Beth knew who it was the moment she heard the faux cough—not only was the direction of the sound a dead giveaway, but she only knew one person who actually enunciated the ahem into a distinct word. 

Still, she can’t help sighing a bit when she sees the floral bow on top of the straw-hatted head barely able to peep over the fence into Beth’s yard. Mrs. Karpinski must’ve really wanted a good look, she’d brought out her kitchen stool. 

“Good afternoon Mrs. Karpinski,” Beth calls, sweet as pie. 

“Bethany,” Mrs. Karpinski gasped, wide eyes darting from Beth, to Rio, to the glass in Beth’s hand with the circular frenetic energy of a hummingbird trapped in a hampster ball. “Is that alcohol? In the middle of the afternoon?”

“My name’s not Bethany,” Beth mutters through gritted teeth. “Which you should know based on how much attention you pay to our household.”

She says it under her breath, but loud enough that Rio laughs softly and obviously the alcohol is the only reason the low, husky sound zips right through her before settling low and warm in her center. Great stuff, alcohol. 

my wip folder is a mess and a mystery to me as much as you but ask me about any that strike your fancy anyway

[riskeith]

happy weekend dearest!

other than the snow angels, i haven’t done much.,, just been cozying it up with coffee and blankets at home hehe. 30 degrees... amazing. ideal feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather. 😌 bc of global warming we’ve been having some great summers these past few years. it even gets to 30 degrees as well which was unheard of tbh.

you’re so cute for caring ilysm <3 and aaa! a walk! do you have any perticular place you enjoy walking to or does the winds guide you, hehe? EDITING A FIC... 👀 i’m looking respectfully...... 👀 wait did the event open up for you already? i tried to play it earlier today but it wasn’t there yet... the lost riches one right?

bennett is best boy i still can’t believe it either!!! he’s seriously the cutest he just makes me so happy. when i need to explore and run around i always run with him bc i love his lines so much. what a bebie. you should go for it there are still some days left! + he’s a four star so he’s easier to get. GUOBA IS SO FUNNY he’s just.... a little fucking bear i can’t stop laughing... tbh the little creatures like amber’s bunny too just 😭 have you seen those yt clips of them dancing? obsession..

i need to ask you this bc when i found out i lost my mind: did you know that the japanese va for razor is also the va for tsukishima (haikyuu) and shigaraki (bnha)???? insane!!! it made me consider switch to japanese dub tbh.. which dub do you use?

maybe i’ll send you a little part and you can read or something shdkdhskdjdjf help 😳 it’s not edited or anything so it might take a while plus i’m super into writing bnha these days so.... but hey if You have any prompts you want to read maybe i’ll write a drabble for you. i don’t mind at all! <33333 ask for anything!!

(FIC-COLLAB!!:!/$:)!:&//&/!$:’sidnd HELP.... omg what kind of fic would we write....?)

exactly! i think when you realize that there’s nothing keeping you there anymore that brings you joy, that’s when you need to step back. social media is a bit fucked up that way imo. like you want to be there to be informed and to have fun but it takes so much.. hm. also you always tell me this but i wanna tell you to that YOU are the reason i enjoy social media these days so.. thank you <3

you relate to bakugou and lance? that’s super hot of you.. 🥵 my wifey is a self assured, super intense and talented person.. couldn’t ask for better tbh. i think out of them both i’m pretty much like todoroki.. we’re super similar in so many ways now that i think about it shsjdhdhdj.. how about we just stay c.r and m.a our dynamic is perfect as is LMAO

DOUBLE VENTI! I’D LOOOOVE THAT FOR US. bow users are difficult indeed but venti is one of the easier bow users it feels like... idk watching others game play he doesn’t have as much pushback as say amber for example. 12K PRIMOGEMS..... babe you’re getting your xiao!!!!!! how long have you been saving? also i seriously don’t mind if it comes down to it hakshddkhd i can be your genshin sugar mommy... ;) imagine a c6 venti though that seems insane. literal insanity.

SPEAKING OF SHIPPING.... THE POST YOU POSTED... THEY STOLE OUR IDEA AND IT LOOKS SO CUTE AND ITS CHONGYUN AND XINGYUN WHICH IS EVEN BETTER... THEY LOOK SOOOOO CUTE TOGETHER I’M OBSESSEDDDDD!!!! <3333 dude idk how but we are doing that co-op date somehow i’m super inspired i want that for us so badly... (also i need to say smth... my love language is when people say ‘i thought of you when i...’ and the fact that you said that just hsjdfhjdjdksk shit)

actually you’re right.. the only way we’d get a sequel is if they did something with the mfe fighters.. like kinkade james veronica nadia and ina. idk how attractive that would be tho...

i’m a lady, my dearest *dips* no but my pronouns are she/her!! sorry i didn’t mention it before i thought i made it clear shsjsjdkdj. ty for asking tho ♥️ super sweet!

AAA!!!!!!!!!! EEE!! i’m super super excited. if it’s like,, too public and you don’t just wanna post it i might think about exposing myself or smth... if that would make you more comfy. no matter what you do i’m just gonna be here buzzing, *hinata voice* one more one more one more.

oh!! i listen to everything but kpop sjdjdkdhdk i did have a semi-phase around like 2014-19 ish but dropped it pretty hard . now i have no clue what goes on there anymore i mostly enjoy rnb indie n rap/hip.. my gay ass was considering making a little playlist or smth for u but i want to make it with songs You’d like so i might pull up my old kpop faves hehe..

guess chilling is out of the question then, heh. hope you slept well!! i’m gonna try to wake up earlier so we’ll have a chance to send more messages during the weekend perhaps... mwah!!

YOURS, m.a. <3

happy weekend!!!! hope you can ease up a bit since there’s no school hehe

“feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather” FHSKFHKSDF yes!! but it honestly sucks when it gets any hotter bc we don’t have central cooling in our house so rip... and my laptop fan goes crazy ahaha. 30 degrees being unheard of.. can’t relate! fsdfjs. have you guys had to adjust to those changing temperatures? rip climate change tho :’(

<333 i do!! i usually walk to the local park and then the streets around that.. omg speaking of... do you play pokemon go? DHAFKHSDKFHSKDFHKSDH i got back into it again recently ahaha. it’s for a free bakudeku zine!! hehehe it’s out at the end of jan so 👀

i just checked and the event is open !!!!!!!!! good luck hehe !

yup lost riches!! and the event opens at 4am server time, so since i’m in asia i get it earlier hehe which colour seelie are you gonna go for tho omg i was debating it with my friend last night.. i’m gonna pick gold!!

baby bennett!! that’s true but i can’t risk getting a 5 star otherwise my pity will reset for xiao fhdskfhskjfhkjshkfj next time :(((( but albedo /is/ super pretty and i see a lot of people saying they like him... NO !!! xiao only >:( no omg i don’t think i’ve seen those clips ? is it mmd where they like dance to other songs and stuff ahah

yes i did!!!! and the VA for diluc is giorno from jjba and kuroko from knb!! omg wait and venti’s VA is hinata did you know that? fun fact i guessed it was him when i first heard his voice LOL that’s my secret talent 😩 and i use japanese dub!! i’ve considered using chinese too bc i can understand it but i just like the japanese voice actors tbh and also i can excuse it as “listening practice” AHAH

yes pls!! sending something bnha is fine too, or legit anything else lmao i’m open arms over here~~ 🤗👐 and ooft... it’s hard thinking of prompts that’s why i always ask others HSDKFJHSDKFHSD but i’ll let you know if i think of something!!!

(no clue!!!! but we could each write from a character’s POV so hopefully it’s more consistent 🤪🤪 idk i have no clue how fic collabs work AHAHA)

yeahhh one of my mutuals said “social media is a curse” and honestly hard agree.. we’re all kinda trapped in a way LMAO. and no pls don’t thank me.. you’re the one who found me first 😩💘 ily..

FSDHKJFS pls you’re making me blush come on 😳😳 but yes i love that for us... m.a. x c.r. the only valid ship 😩

woooo!!!! yeah you’re probably right, like given the fact he’s a 5 star his mechanics are probably different.. i know that diluc’s charged attack is different to the other claymore users so! IM GETTING MY XIAO!!!! and hm i’ve been saving since the middle of zhongli banner! so december 10 ish around then? dragonspine was a blessing tbh i reckon i got sooo many primogems from that. FGJKSHFKJSDHFKSDHSHKJFH my genshin sugar mummy 🥵🥵 c6 venti unstoppable..

AHAHAHA YEAH THEY LOOK /SO/ CUTE TOGETHER!!! i wonder how they got so many of the images tho like they must’ve been so in sync?!?!? ugh that could be us but no cross-server co-op be playin’.. (fhdskjfhdskjfhs um!! noted for future reference 🤪)

omg them.. i always forget about them LMAOOOOOOOOO ugh. actually i wouldn’t be mad if we got a prequel of like when keith was in the garrison... or even when shiro was with adam... ugh so much they could’ve given us and they chose not to

*waggles eyebrows* well hello there, m’lady ;) and it’s fine fhdskjf i had some inklings but didn’t wanna assume ya know? ahah :p

no!! it’s all g, i’ve thought about posting it before anyway. like, just releasing all of my WIPs and letting people do what they want with them HAAHA. (i could also just put the link under a read more and less people would see it, so it’s no biggie!) fkdshfkjs the hinata impression omg precious <33

FJHFDSKJ awks ahah which groups were you into tho! if it’s not like scarring for you to think back to LOL. and oooo i like indie too! i think.. or is it alt? honestly i don’t even know, tbh my music taste is pretty diverse and a mess, i can usually listen to a lot of things. except slow songs i don’t really like those hfdskj. and i don’t like rap too much either FHSDKJS whenever my friend gives me a rec i’m just like “oh i liked the singing parts in that” FDSKJF. a playlist tho huh 😳🥺

and pls!! if the weekend is your only chance to sleep in then do it.. for me 😩 i’ve been legit waking up at 12pm these past few days FKJHSKDF idek why like i’m sleeping 10 hours?? yikes. but as always i shall be waiting for your response <3 💌

[clumsyclifford]

I'm totally fine with being tagged as shy anon. Makes it easier for me to find the responses. You're totally so cute!! These may come in three separate asks so in advanced I do apologise for that. Okie ahhh favorite songs youre making me choose between my kids. I love all atl songs, tops glitter and crimson, wus, chemistry, vampire shift. Shit load of 1D, wildflower which is a recent find btw. And uhhhh im sure I'm forgetting about a million others. I love oldies and classics though. Fav city is my city of LA, im 29 though I look 12 tbh. I'm like 5'2 not tall at all. And I'm about to have dinner right now so ill be back with the rest of your questions. But how's your night going. Let's not forget about you.

Shy anon back with part 2. I do drink tea. My favorite is chai vanilla. It smells so good and is very delicious. Whats your favorite tea? Are there any shows you're super into right now? Do you like desserts? Whats your least favorite food? Honestly wanted to tell you you were a saving grace when I found your jalex fics. I love how you write them and thank God you aren't like ones who write them just to say who bottoms and who tops. It prompted me to make a whole ass blog dedicated to reblogging them just so I wouldn't lose them. Anyway. You'll see im a pretty boring person.

sick then we will go with that until further notice!!!

CHEMISTRY alright anon that’s it you can be my new best friend holy SHIT so much FUCKING TASTE i FUCKING LOVE CHEMISTRY i will be committing violent crimes against all time low for not releasing it for me to stream honestly what the fuck

yeah!!! 1d!!!! love those bitches!!!! and wildflower, interesting!!!! a recent find, does that mean you don’t really listen to 5sos? ....do you want to? do you need a starting place? recs??? wildflower is a banger though i agree. great choice. oldies and classics are hit or miss for me but i like some classic rock !!!

oooooh LA!! never been. one day </3 when there’s. no pandemic and all </3

chai vanilla! have also never had that!! i mostly just drink english breakfast ya know builder’s tea proper english milk and sugar. if i can’t bring the bella to england then i will forcibly bring england to the bella

OH so funny you ask ! yes i am, speaking of bringing england to the bella, i am wholly obsessed with great british bake off. baking show. whatever. it has my entire heart. i tried to watch a different baking show today and it just. wasnt good in comparison. i dont ever want to watch another baking show that isnt gbbo. THOUGH i am also forever watchin antm (america’s next top model?? do people know the initials for it?? idk) with my wonderful roommate. we are about ??? five ish? six ?? episodes into cycle 20. that show satisfies my desire to watch really trashy reality TV, whereas i genuinely enjoy bake off and the relationships between the people on the show makes me SO SO happy like. mmmm comfort show. perfect for drinking tea and being happy and thinking about meg

well you know what. i do love desserts as in i have quite a sweet tooth and i eat a lot of chocolate/sweet things BUT i am also rather choosy about them? like i don’t like most cake, i DON’T like frosting at all. idk man! short answer: yes but no. hope this helps <3

LEAST favorite???? god i don’t know!!! there are so many good foods why would i waste brain space on the ones i hate??? ill tell you my favorite food which is mac and cheese

omg !!! well !!! please that’s very kind of you. an entire blog!! wow!!!! i’m glad you like them so much wow yay i!!! ah!!! thank you!!!!!!! you are a lovely wonderful person shy anon i like the vibes going on here

[writeforcarat]

First Date With SEVENTEEN

[Dongsaeng Line]

The8 A man of many interests, Minghao has A LOT of ideas for your first date. But since you want to take your time in getting to know every bit about him, you tell him that you don't mind trying all his ideas one date at a time, but right now, you really want to go on a photo walk with him. You are not that well-versed on photography, but you've seen Minghao's sample photos, which he ever so often posts on Weibo or Instagram, and you could easily tell that he's really got an eye for photography. His composition is great and he knows how to make the little details stand out in his pictures. You spend the day clicking photos around the city. The season changing from spring to summer also gave you colourful subjects to shoot. You've never gone on a photo walk before, but now that you did, you couldn't wait to go on another. Watching you pick up a newfound hobby charming to see for Minghao, and he was more than happy to help you with the basics of photography. Exhausted from all the walking, you take a break at a café (you go for an iced latte, while he opted for some hot tea). "I bet you took nice pictures," Minghao says, prompting you to hand over your camera to him. "They're not the best, but thanks for helping me. I learned a lot." The corners of Minghao's lips tug upwards, as he viewed some of the pictures you took. "How about you?" You ask him. "How are your pictures?" He slides his camera across the table towards you. "Well, since I chose the most beautiful subject around, all the pictures I took are perfect," he says with overflowing pride, to which you playfully roll your eyes (he can be adorably conceited sometimes). You turn his camera on and browse through one photo after another. There are dozens if not more than a hundred. Your eyebrows knit in confusion, and your lips part in an effort to say something. All of the pictures Minghao took... it was all you.  You look up to face him, and as though he has read your thoughts, he smirks and says, "Didn't I just say I chose the most beautiful subject?"

Mingyu When Mingyu found out that you also enjoy cooking, he brought up the idea of a date in his kitchen. You loved the idea, of course, and decided to meet at a supermarket to get all the ingredients you need for your DIY dinner date. Even in his most comfortable clothes, Mingyu looked fine AF.  You'd never seen someone look so good just to get some grocery shopping done. Clad in a plain black shirt and jeans, with a baseball cap on, he got heads turning wherever you two went, and you felt quite proud to be by his side, as his date. Like, how could you be so lucky??? When you arrived at his flat, which was surprisingly neat albeit some misplaced objects here and there, you both went straight to the kitchen to get the cooking started. Things were really going well, until Mingyu's clumsy ass tipped a pot over, spilling pretty much all your dinner. He looked really apologetic, and while you said it's okay, he kept saying sorry (that poor puppy!). After cleaning up the mess, you decided to just have some ramyeon (whatever you learned from K-Dramas, it’s not THAT), while waiting for the kimchi rice you ordered from a restaurant in the neighbourhood. Just as he dropped you off, he apologised once again, though you cut him off as he continued to curse at his clumsiness. "Hey," you said softly to him. "I wouldn't have this first date any other way." And a smile lit up his face.

DK You and Seokmin had packed schedules and couldn't find an entirely free day that you can have to yourselves, so you agreed to keep him company during one of his visits to the orphanage. Seokmin had a dream of becoming a social worker when he was younger, and while it wasn't the career he decided to pursue having developed a deep interest in the music industry, he still tried to render some of his free time to causes he cared about. You found Seokmin at the orphanage surrounded by adorable children. He was reading them a story, complete with comical character voices and sound effects. He was also wearing a lopsided felt crown on his head and a cape that's loosely tied around his neck. When he saw you from the corner of his eye, he gestured his hand for you to come over. He dramatically introduced you to everyone as the fairest maiden in the land, making you blush. When one of the kids asked if you were a princess, he said, "No, she's a queen," giving you a playful wink, as he placed a crown that looked similar to his on your head. From there, you took over the roles of the female characters (from fairies to witches to damsels in distress) in the stories, as he delivered his best impression of kings, wizards, and knights—much to the children's amusement. As you put the kids to sleep for their afternoon nap, a little girl snuggled between you and Seokmin, asking if you two can be her mum and dad for the day. With a soft smile, Seokmin told her, "Sure, Princess," tucking her in with a plush blanket. You don't know much, but at that moment, you were certain that you couldn't love a man as much as you already loved Seokmin.  

Seungkwan You didn't plan it, so you'd be beyond thrilled to see each other wearing matching pastel outfits on your first proper date at an amusement park. Though you already knew it, this date just affirmed that, indeed, Seungkwan is one hilarious fluffball! He'd send you to fits of laughter, as you spend your day playing sideshow games, trying out rides, and indulging on classic carnival food. You just couldn't believe how he doesn't seem to run out of witty remarks to say, and on top of that, he also has his way with words sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach. He had decided to call you "dear," and the first time you heard it from him, you swore you could have melted!

Vernon Hansol is so chill, deciding on what to do on your first date became quite a problem for you because he's okay with anything you suggested. Like, dude, just pick one! Anyway, you ended up attending a music festival, which was a good excuse for him to wear his rather questionable fashion pieces, but tbh, you couldn't care less coz you're pretty weird yourself, too. You hopped from one concert to another, noticing how you enjoyed the same bands and genres of music. As the afternoon slipped into evening, you spread out a blanket on a grassy patch. He sat down and allowed you to recline against him, the back of your head resting on his chest. He gingerly wrapped his arms around you (a gesture of affection you didn't think he's capable of showing), as the temperature dipped and the band began to play a mellow tune. "Now, isn't this nice?" You let out a satisfied sigh in response, placing your hands on top of his. You couldn't see it, but you could tell that a smile was painted on Hansol's lips as he hugged you tighter.

Dino Oh, dear Lord. This guy is a firecracker! He loves attention, especially when he gets it from you. On your first date, he'd take you to a club. You are fun-loving yourself, so you didn't really mind the idea. You'd be clinking drinks over small conversations, but when his favourite song plays, you can bet that he'd take over the dance floor, breaking those moves he so badly wanted to show you. Holy shit, he's a great dancer. He knows it and he shows it. He basks in the cheers of the crowd surrounding him. But what you find extremely sexy, though, is how his eyes remain locked with yours and only yours the entire time. When the song ends, he flashes you a smile that makes your heart skip a beat. He scoots over to you, takes your hand, and leads you back to your table. "Did I do okay over there?" He'd ask you, and you'd be quick to answer him. "No, you were amazing."

I had so much fun coming up with these scenarios! You can read the hyung line’s version here. And if you have requests, feel free to let me know! 

[infinitebookwrms]

My Decade in Books

@brightbeautifulthings​ thank you for tagging me!! 💕💕

The rules: respond to the prompt “my decade in books” however you want, & then tag some ppl! I chose a book or series to define each year of the decade, some w/a little description. You can do that, or make up your own response

Okay so this is going to be pretty hard. I was going to do it by what book I read that year, but I didn’t track what books I read that far back. Instead, I’ll write about a book I read that was released that year, even though I most likely did not read it when it was released. Hopefully, I have a book for each year of the past decade!

2010 - So I tried to track this to see if I actually remembered what I read this year, and I was in my last year of elementary school, which is wiiiild, considering I’m in my third year of college now. I think I was reading a lot of different books about vampires during this time. Anyways, a book I read that was released this year was Linger by Maggie Stiefvater, which is the second book of The Wolves of Mercy Falls series. I remember I absolutely loooooved this trilogy, and the characters were pretty great, but I think if I decided to read this now, I wouldn’t get past the first book. 

2011 - One of my favorite books from this year was Abandon by Meg Cabot. I love retelling especially when they’re about mythology. Unfortunately, I didn’t finish this trilogy, and I have always wondered how it ended. Another favorite from this year was The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater, it got me out of one of my biggest reading slumps. Another one from this year, but one that I read rather recently is The Night Circus  by Erin Morgenstern; it wasn’t exactly what I expected, but definitely one I enjoyed reading.

2012 - It may not have been originally published this year, buuuut the version I read was, so maybe this is cheating, but oh well lol. One of my favorites ever, The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. Like I said, I love mythology related stories, and this one was no different. The characters, plot, and romance? All amazing. The ending was sad, and there were definitely some tears shed on my part, but it just made it all that much better. 

2013 - I started high school this year! I don’t think I was reading much during this time tbh, except for stories that I read that were assigned to me. Which ones those were, I can’t really remember, but of the few that I read I liked them all except for one. Enough of that though, a book released from this year that I read was The Ocean at the End of the Lane  by Neil Gaiman. The first book by Gaiman that I have ever read, and I was not disappointed, I was a bit creeped out though. 

2014 - Favorites from this year was To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han and A Thousand Pieces of You by Claudia Gray. Honestly, some of my favorite romance YA novels I have ever read. 

2015 - I can’t remember what I was reading during this year, but some books that were released this year that I found memorable were Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard and Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. I was a bit hesitant to read Red Queen, but my friend gave it to me as a birthday gift, and I’m very glad she did because it was amazing. Six of Crows is something I read not too long ago, I did find it a bit daunting but it was so well written that I hardly realized how long it was. 

2016- Again, I can’t remember what I read this year, and I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I probably wasn’t reading much. Most memorable from this year was Love and Gelato by Jenna Evans Welch. I read this after visiting Italy, and it made me like the book all that much more. 

2017 - I did read a lot more this year, than I had in the past few. One of my favorites from this year was Caraval by Stephanie Garber. I definitely felt the magic with this book. Another favorite was Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman. I had to branch out from Greek and Roman mythology at some point lol. Renegades by Marissa Meyer was also very memorable. 

2018 - I started my blog this year!! I started tracking what I read from this point on and  I was reading a lot more than I ever was. There were so many books from this year that I absolutely loved and a few of them are The Cruel Prince by Holly Black, Circe by Madeline Miller, and last but not least is If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio. 

2019 - I didn’t reach my reading goal from this year, but the books I did manage to read ones that I truly enjoyed. Most of the books I read this year, were actually released this year!! Some of my favorites were King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo, Storm and Fury by Jennifer L. Armentrout (I sincerely enjoyed all the Supernatural references), and Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan

I’m tagging @astaircaseofbooks @thgbookprincess @thebookfangirlstuff @backlogbooks @anaisreading and anyone else who wants to join in!

[rainymeadows]

I rewatched Eternal Diva and this time I took notes as I went through

Dive under the cut if you dare to experience my mad in-the-moment ramblings (warning for spoilers for pretty much the entire prequel trilogy)

-          Don Paolo’s voice sounds like what Papyrus’s voice probably should

-          Winter Layton is precious in that giant coat

-          Janice is so pretty omg an angel

-          Layton geeking out over the Detrogan is goddamn adorable

-          I love how everything is greyed out in Janice’s flashback

-          Suuuuuuuuper subtle indication that maybe “Janice” seeing how young this little girl was is what prompted her to find a way to put an end to this whole thing

-          Whether it’s a moped or the Laytonmobile, Emmy drives like crazy XD

-          Bitch you ain’t on Top Gear

-          God her big sister relationship with Luke is adorable tho

-          Aaaaaaaaaaaah Layton smiling at their banter dad’s so happy for his son

-          They did such a good job reusing the game’s music for this movie

-          The opera house looks so cool but so precarious – my first thought upon seeing it was “when is this thing going to sink”

-          I MEAN IT’S ON A CLIFF

-          Janice’s voice is so pretty TToTT

-          I like that they kept the Japanese vocals for her singing

-          SONG OF THE SEA-SHADOWING

-          I hate that Layton and Luke were the ONLY people to honestly applaud the performance. Everyone else is a DICK

-          First time I saw this dude, I thought “that’s a puppet, no ordinary person moves like that even in animation”

-          Once again, Layton putting a polite and gentlemanly spin on “fucked if I know, my dude”

-          Lol I love that even the people who didn’t applaud and thus apparently knew what they were in for weren’t down for dying

-          Fuking cowards

-          Layton is always DTF (down to fight)

-          GROSKY OF THE YARD

-          FUCK YES

-          This dude’s manliness is infectious

-          “Gee, I wonder who’s behind this-“ *Descole’s theme starts playing* “-oh well never mind”

-          Honestly who else but Descole would be this fucking extra tho

-          Gotta admit I love the twist of the opera house being a ship, I was totally expecting it to just go plunging into the ocean at a moment’s notice

-          Aaaaah the CG in this movie is really well done

-          Layton’s angry face is kinda ridiculous but I love it

-          I love that it’s pointed out like “where tf did all these sharks come from”

-          I prefer Cartoon Saloon’s Song of the Sea, but this one’s pretty too

-          Lol as if a MAN-EATING SHARK could keep down GROSKY OF THE YARD

-          I’m surprised he can see over the top of his chest hair

-          God, the detrogan is such a cool instrument and I really wish something like it existed irl

-          Ah, it’s only like fifteen sharks, Grosky will be fine

-          I love the air of mystery surrounding Oswald Whistler

-          Layton’s hat is made of 100% pure uncut husband material

-          AAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE HOW PUZZLES ARE USED IN THIS MOVIE IT’S SO GOOOOOOOD

-          I’m so glad they didn’t scrap it entirely coz I mean they’re so integral not only to the Layton games, but Layton himself

-          This music box tune kinda gives me Gravity Falls vibes tbh

-          I think the backing melody sounds pretty identical to the tune’s intro

-          I love that this movie actually lets us see inside Layton’s head and his thought process, it’s so much better than just having him put everything together seemingly offscreen

-          Tbh any puzzle where “the night sky” is the solution is bound to be a good puzzle

-          I just fucking love the implied MASSACRES in this movie

-          God Luke is so goddamn precious

-          Pffft pumpkin dude is so subtly duplicitous

-          Okay I have ot pause for a bit to rant about layton’s design because it’s SO GOOD. Warm colours make him seem welcoming and kinda comfy and the simple facial features, while a bit Ditto-esque, do combine nicely with his overall shape to scream “friend”. Professor Layton is friend shaped. And of course there’s the popped collar to show that he’s cool, the high collared shirt gives a scholarly vibe, his shoes which I stg are plimsolls show a practical side and of course the quintessential top hat shows that he’s a Gentleman first and foremost. Add the amazing voice to that and BOI I DIE

-          Although I can’t help imagining that gif with the teddy bear slapping eyebrows onto its face to look angry whenever he gets mad

-          Luke is not friend shaped. Luke is son shaped.

-          Precious bab shaped

-          Wpw a sea captain I would never have guessed other than the “sailor” accent and the fact that you’re wearing a sailor’s uniform

-          Ugh I love these quiet moments where things can sink in and characters can just talk to each other, I really wish more movieswould do this

-          I love that even if you don’t have a literal look at his thought processes, you can still see Layton THINKINg

-          Agh Amelia is SO CUTe this series is so good at designing beautiful women and cute girls while also making them look DISTINCT

-          I like that they hinted at her intelligence by having her solve the puzzles by herself

-          One advantage a film has over the games is that the visual novel format kinda limits the dialogue, coz it’s hard to convey one charafter talking over another

-          I really like the side characters. They’re simple, yes, but they don’t really need to be complex

-          I will admit that the limits of Layton’s simple facial features means it can be hard to tell who/what he’s looking at sometimes…

-          “that man” asked me to write an opera, huh

-          WHY DOES NOBODY ASK WHO

-          Fuck descole’s theme is SO GOOD

-          WHERE DOES HE GET THE FUNDING FOR ALL OF THIS THOUGH

-          And Grosky boards the ship just in time for it to blow up XD I love this dude

-          I can only imagine his gigantic pecs act as a flotation device

-          Layton preventing Luke from looking at the exploding ship THIS MAN IS SUCH A DAD HE’S SO GOOD

-          I love this scene with Emmy investigating because these parent’s appearances are just enough to make it ambiguous whether they’re Nina or Amelia’s parents

-          Seeing them all wrapped up in blankets is kinda cute tbh

-          LET. THEM. SLEEP.

-          I wonder what Layton uses to keep his hat on?

-          Lol Emmy pushing a fossil aside to look at the map

-          I can only assume, given that they set off from the White Cliffs of Dover, that this island is SOMEWHERE off the coast of mainland Europe in about the same region as Spain

-          Ugh I LOVE Emmy’s uppercrust accent, the fact that she sounds like such a refined lady is such a fun contrast to her literal arse-kicking

-          Also this is totally BBC news lol

-          I love the detail of the historian’s scrapbook being kinda hodgepodge with bits falling out

-          And I love the Ambrosia Seal being super detailed but the subtle incorporation of a sheet music design

-          Gotta admit I totally thought this little banquet was poisoned on my first watch

-          Lol I love that pumpkin guy just KEEPS POURING THE WINE

-          Ugh that beach looks SO PRETTY, I want to go there

-          Janice is totally crushing on Layton, pass it on

-          D’awwwwww luke trying to befriend ‘melina’ is SO CUTE this boy must be protected at all costs

-          Layton how did you hear what she was humming from all the way over there

-          Why do so many anime characters have inexplicable super senses

-          Those wolves’ eyeliner is on point lol

-          “I’m not built for running” lol mood

-          FUCKING HELL DESCOLE WHO IS FUNDING ALL YOUR SHIT

-          HOW MUCH DISPOSABLE INCOME DO YOU FUCKING HAVE

-          Admittedly on my first watch I wasn’t as familiar with descole’s theme, but I saw that castle and I just thought “it’s descole, only he can be that extra”

-          The twist of using the cages for personal protection rather than to trap the walls is simple, but so clever

-          I love that Mr Whistler was one of those accidentally trapped outside. Keeps suspicion off

-          And I love Layton saying “well that solved PART of our problem”

-          YOU SHUT UP LADY THE PROFESSOR IS AMAZING

-          And then he trips and falls lol that’s what you get for wearing old man shoes

-          “Even a good gentleman needs to get some exercise!” pfft

-          Oh hey, they found the starter house that Descole was using while he was building that castle. I wonder what texture pack he’s using?

-          And here Layton puts MacGuyver to shame in the most Ghibli way possible

-          I’d love to see someone try to build this thing XD someone call the Mythbusters

-          Bjut I adore how even LAYTON isn’t sure how this fucking thing works

-          Fucking NERD

-          Yeah, these filmmakers were TOTALLY influenced by Ghibli

-          This is so Castle In The Sky, it hurts

-          “Hang on tight! NOT TO THE PILOT!” – best line in the movie

-          You can’t escape it, Layton. You is a dad

-          DID YOU GUYS NOT SEE LAYTON LAPUTA-ING HIS WAY IN

-          It’s great how all those puzzles seem like they could be ripped straight out of the Layton games, complete with outside-the-box bizarre thinking required to solve em

-          I’m so proud of Luke for solving it!!!!! Such a good boy

-          RUDE

-          Yeah, just stand in the middle of the suspiciously empty room, I’m sure nothing will go wrong

-          That’s what you get for shoving Layton aside, bitches

-          Lol I guess luke could just step through the bars if his head was a bit smaller

-          DESCOLE HOLY FUCK YOU ARE THE KING OF EXTRA

-          “humble scientist” GOOD GRIEF WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT YOU DRAMA QUEEN

-          I love that Emmy can FLY A PLANE

-          Holy shit grosky there are better ways to signal for help

-          And LESS GROSS WAYS TO DRY YOURSELF OFF IN A PLANE

-          Yeah, see, you lost your knickers

-          Ugh, god. I adore this scene with Layton in Melina’s room. It’s so quiet, the soft evening lighting… aaaaaaaaaaah so peaceful, but you can still feel the tension in the air, especially after Melina comes in

-          Oh my god, Layton plays like an angel *swoon*

-          The lack of background music in this scene is what makes it so perfect, the tension is so REAL

-          Lol I love the historian just standing there like ‘welp there they go’

-          NOOOOOOOOO LUKE DON’T CRY

-          BIG SIS IS HERE

-          Oh fuck yes

-          EMMY I LOVE YOU

-          God she and grosky are so fantastic XD

-          WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE THAT EMMY

-          Somehow emmy gives me Michelle of the Resistance vibes

-          God, I kinda love it when you can tell Layton’s already put it all together and is just biding his time

-          AAAAAAAAAAH I love the subtle resemblance between Layton and what you can see of Descole’s face

-          In hindsight, that… stole? Is that what it is? The fur thing isprobably to hide his face shape because it most likely ups his resemblance to Layton

-          But he’s totally wearing black converse like the extra hipster nerd he is

-          God, I can’t even imagine the nightmare of having your memories overridden and personality suppressed

-          Aaaaaaaaaaaand here’s the summation. I love this part in pretty much every Layton thing

-          “Assisting you was the scientist, Jean Descole!” Descole: lol hi

-          LAYTON YOU ARE SUCH A DAD I LOVE YOU

-          Him being gentle with kids is so sweet

-          Also damn this backstory is a lot. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a loved one, but I’m not surprised a father would do anything he could to keep his daughter alive

-          “When did you realise I was involved” “ur an extra bitch who lives for drama, who else could it be”

-          That brief bit of Luke without his hat just makes him look even more BABY BOI MUST PROTECC

-          Okay real talk when did Janice get hold of the key

-          I’m guessing it was in the commotion when Mr Whistler grabbed Luke

-          SUCH A GOOD TWIST I LOVE IT

-          My heeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaart goddammit

-          In hindsight, the hint of Janice wearing Melina’s pendant was really subtle and clever

-          GODDAMMIT DESCOLE CAN YOU STOP BEING EXTRA FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS

-          It’s kinda cool that he’s an archaeologist too though. It really does run in the family.

-          The way Descole and Whistler’s schemes intertwined was really cool

-          Yeah, it just wouldn’t be Descole if there wasn’t some over-the-top machinery

-          YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MAGIC MUSIC THIS IS MY SHIT

-          When escaping from a crumbling castle, do be sure to grab your boy.

-          AAAAAAAAAGH THE SCENERY IN THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING GOOD

-          Good lord, there it is. Descole just can’t function unless he has some ridiculous Humongous Mecha at his command

-          This thing looks especially monstrous and I love it

-          I don’t think I’ve seen ANY faults in this movie’s animation, jesus Christ

-          Descole, did you learn nothing from the attempted excavation of Troy? It’s very possible that your efforts to unearth Ambrosia will be what destroys it!

-          Aaaaaaaagh this flying scene is intense as FUCK

-          Layton and Luke are SUCH A GOOD TEAM

-          WHAT IS THIS MUSIC I LOVE IT

-          Luke you are SUCH A GOOD BOY

-          Sorry but you’ll never be mob tho

-          Mob is perfection

-          JESUS CHRIST DESCOLE ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL A CHILD

-          I was about to ask where that explosion came from but then I realised it was probably a petrol-powered chainsaw

-          Layton who told you that you could look this goddamn epic

-          But I love that he’s taking on the sword-armed Descole with a PIPE

-          That footwork tho

-          Layton must be an amazing dancer

-          So cool that he’s patiently explaining why Descole was wrong

-          Sun, stars and sea. I feel like that’s a Dothraki term of endearment meant for oceanfairing

-          MORE MAGIC MUSIC I AM BLESSED

-          AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THIS IS THE FUCKING COOLEST

-          I’M SUCH A SLUT FOR MAGIC MUSIC GODDAMMIT AND THIS IS DOUBLE TEAMING ME WITH SINGING AND PIANO

-          I do enjoy that despite its emergence, Ambrosia is still partially submerged. Some movies would’ve had it rise from the sea completely

-          Lol at Descole losing his shit because SOMEONE ELSE found the answer

-          Yeah, bad idea attacking someone right on top of your humongous mecha’s control panel

-          “DESCOLE!” dude he’s fine you really think he’d die

-          I was going to ask why Emmy didn’t use her plane but she probably couldn’t get to it in time

-          Yeah, this is SO Ghibli. The gigantic industrialised machine self-destructing on the ruins of an ancient civilisation lost to nature

-          Noooooooooo don’t do this to me movie, nothing kills me like sad flashbacks

-          Ow my heart

-          This hurts

-          “I’m sorry, Father. I’ve only ever brought you grief and sadness, haven’t I” as someone who’s struggled with depression this is a whole-ass mood

-          NO THIS HURTS STOP IT

-          Also the lil detail of Whistler’s waistcoat being the same shade of purple as Melina/Janice’s dress

-          NOOO DON’T MAKE LUKE SAD

-          “I’m so glad all of you were my very last memory.” Damn that line hits hard

-          GIVE THE GIRL A HUG, LAYTON

-          I said a hug, not a hand on the shoulder, she needs a HUG

-          Seeing the destroyed detrogan really hammers it home, huh

-          It’s very kind of Grosky to let Whistler play one last time in memory of his daughter

-          When I got into the Layton series, I was no expecting to be hit so hard with the FEELS

-          “Do you know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”

-          GNU Ambrosia, I guess

-          Ugh it’s so PRETTY tho

-          Fucking sparkles and shit

-          D’awwwww, I love the image of Luke patching up the wolves, he’s so sweet

-          Knowing the truth about Emmy and seeing her being so happy with Layton and Luke makes it really painful :’(

-          The world needs more of Layton with a big, happy smile

-          Awww, Author Lady and Pumpkin Dude kept in touch

-          GROSKY GOT HIS UNDIES BACK

-          Ugh seeing Layton and Luke peacefully listening to that music is SO CUTE and SOFT

[sasakisniko]

I was tagged in this pick five of your favorite works and reflect on them thing weeks ago. So, I’m sorry, I know a few of you tagged me and I can’t remember who, but here it finally is! I only chose gifsets because, tbh, I’m far more secure in them than I am in my fics, though I think I’m improving.

1. I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we’re from the same star.

I made this for an event and, after having done a couple of “favorite relationship” ones and having picked Malex, I wanted to do something slightly different with it while still choosing them. So I settled on this idea, of finding all the different ways Michael has said he loves Alex or someone has said “someone you love” and he has clearly thought of Alex and putting those quotes over moments that illustrate them. Michael and Alex are a great example of never having to hear them say “I love you” directly for us to see it as clear as day and I wanted to show that with this gifset.

2. but god, just notice you’re looking at the sky

I saw this quote and knew I had to make it for Malex because it is them. Completely. They’re both so completely and irrevocably in love with each other. They’re both see each other as the best person in the universe, imo. But, because they can’t see that in themselves, I think they struggle to see how much they mean to each other. That last moment that I giffed is the perfect illustration of them both just not getting it. Michael is thinking Alex is leaving again because he’s not worth staying for (when Alex has left so many times to protect Michael). And Alex is panicking because Michael has been trying to leave the planet and he’s going to lose him right when he’s finally resolved the issue that made him keep leaving (and, imo, the only time Michael ever wants to stay is when Alex is there). They’re idiots in love who need to communicate and I hate them.

3. “Alex made me believe there was a place for me here.” 

Okay, so I saw this quote that I used for this gifset and thought immediately of teen Malex and that quote I used in the caption. I cried the entire time I made it. I don’t really know what to say about it other than that. They have broken me.

4. Are you scared of the dark? / Are you afraid they’ll break your heart? / Are you afraid you’ll lose yourself? 

I made this one for a Halloween event. And I didn’t really know what to do with the prompt until I googled the quote and found these lyrics. And I immediately thought of Alex. Carina has said he’s not afraid of anything and I don’t even remotely agree. I could probably write like 300 pages of meta on the subject of fear and Alex Manes. Alex is absolutely the bravest person on the show, yes, but that’s because he is so afraid. Of one thing in particular. He is absolutely terrified of losing Michael. He’s so scared of that, imo, that he has spent all of his adult life doing whatever it takes to keep Michael safe. And it was an absolute gift to watch him start to confront that fear and go after what he wants most. I love Alex Manes so much. *sobs*

5. I’ve only got myself to blame 

This song attacked me with the Alex Manes feels when the season was still airing and it hasn’t stopped. I think this is exactly how Alex feels. A big deal is made in fandom about how he keeps walking away and I feel like a certain segment of fandom wants to heap all the blame for them not working out on him, so I want to specify that this is not how I feel about it, just how I think Alex feels about it. And how I think he’ll feel about the bs love triangle. *sobs in Alex Manes some more*

I’m tagging anyone who hasn’t done this yet and wants to do it.

[marvels-writings]

I’m very curious as to how the process of writing these masterpieces goes. Honestly can you describe your typical writing experiences? Like how do you get in the zone of writing? How long does it usually take? How do you inspire your creativity (songs/ real life interactions/ prompts)? Also please know that I love you and your writing thank you for amazing work!

Oh, uh, well, this is a bit more complicated than you would’ve expected. But quick backstory, my parents don’t know about this blog (and i’d like to keep it that way) plus if they found out now they would kind of explode and never let me write again. So, i write whenever they aren’t near my room, and I’m playing music all the time, it helps to keep me from getting distracted. 

And about inspiration, most of the stuff i’ve posted are requests, there’s a few that are my original creativity. Those are based off of songs, prompts I’ve read before, and a few of my close friends. But mostly they are requests.

But anyway, this is so weird to explain. (i would also like everyone to keep in mind i’m trying my best to respond to this but i’m 14 and a self taught (except for school) writer))

So my ‘typical writing experience’ would usually start with like just me going into the massive google doc (i can share it but you would only have access to viewing, maybe commenting) where I every single one of the drabbles and series (in the order they were written (cause i’m kinda a control freak)). Then i decide what I’m in the mood to write, (i copied and pasted all of the requests and i have a to do list).

So like I get some really really long requests sometimes which I know will take forever so I don’t do those unless i have enough time to finish. I try to do as many series as i can but the experience is weirder to describe. 

Like i just sit there for a few seconds thinking of like 10 different ways the request could go and then decide the best way it could go. This is usually the angstiest yet happiest one i can write, which i think is the best. 

Writing them gets even weirder tbh.

So my brain is hella weird, it’s in like 50 places at once. Writing is basically unifying all of those voices in my head and putting them as one, onto words on a document. It’s one hell of a relief to be honest, it’s why i started this blog in the first place.

While I’m writing I just have the idea in my head as well as the character, so I’m constantly thinking, what would I do if I were them. which is easier than thinking what would they do bc you are a real person, so it’s easier to project a character onto yourself rather than just have a character if you know what I mean. 

All of them usually take anywhere from 15-30 minutes from when i start writing to posting. In the 15-30 minutes if I’m stressed out the drabble will be funnier and sarcastic, if I’m tired it won’t be too great, but anything else it should be normal. and i def would not call any of them masterpieces. 

Thank you so much for feedback and i hope this is what you wanted, plus I wouldn’t call them masterpieces but THANKS!!! love you anon! and idk if i should add a tag list to this