#( help why is this kind of accurate :'D )

[kamipyre]

— 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐖𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀 ?

tagged by: @bloodxhound bc i wanted to :) / tagging: @ptternminds ( sarang or kim shin 🥺🥺🥺 ), @uroborosymphony ( ara!! ), @jeoseungsaja ( jae hwan of course :3 ), @geniusimogene @eternasci and YOU pls steal :DDD

[torawro]

I’D DIE FOR YOU (AND I HAVE). ( s.a. )

sousuke aizen & black!fem!reader.

cw ━━ ! minors, blank and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT. reader is portrayed as a black woman but you do not have to imagine her that way. using this map of the seireitei as a reference (i searched high and low for a consistent accurate one but it was hard). the first half is set pre-ryoka invasion / pre-soul society arc. the second half is aizen-centric (from his pov told from the 3rd person) and set post-tybw arc, years after he was sealed away in mugen, also including mention of events from vol. 1 of can't fear your own world (a light novel that's post-tybw & can be considered canonical); so all this being said: SPOILERS i guess???? of course you're welcome to read if you don't care about spoilers! somewhat based on 'die for you' by the weeknd & even more loosely based on 'dark red' by steve lacy. contains themes of heavy-ish angst, existential crises (?) & inner emotional turmoil within reader + aizen (separately). descriptions of character death, blood and violence. descriptions of manipulation/mind games. aizen is an unkind man. proofread (i did my best).

word count ━━ 11k

notes ━━ ! the way this fic was supposed to finished a month ago...but life once more gets in my way. and the way that it's this long....i anticipated the max being 10k but i greatly underestimated how long it would take to flesh out my idea. anywho i'm somewhat reentering my bleach era again. i’m not sure what it is but character analyses in the form of fanfiction is my jam rn like i really enjoyed writing this (i got tired of the length by like... 7k words lmao) but i like how this turned out. i've watched & read quite a bit of content that provide explanations as to why aizen is the way he is so i wanted to try my own portrayal of that in the context of canonical events. how i characterized him here is partially inspired by a fic i read about him last year so shout out to them for their support :D i hope i've depicted and humanized aizen well ♡. reblogs + commentary are heavily appreciated!!!!!

THE PAD OF YOUR THUMB SLOWLY glided against your bottom lip, the lingering aftertaste of jasmine tea still on its surface and on your breath. The absentminded motion of your thumb caressing your mouth, as if in deep contemplation, continued as you stared at the clock hanging on the wall above you.

It was past eleven, and the midnight hour only continued to draw near as time sustained its temporal march. And there you sat at your desk, floating in the limbo of your mind that was filled with hesitancy and admittedly, budding anticipation.

Your gaze lowered to the now empty porcelain cup, nothing remaining of its contents except the shriveled remnants of herbs and a few wayward drops of the brew.

Your senior comrade, captain Sōsuke Aizen, was correct in his prediction that you'd take a liking to its floral and delicate taste when he gifted you a jar full of the jasmine tea leaves as well as other ingredients.

The captain of Squad 5 seemed to be correct about a lot of things.

His intelligence and foresight, along with his kind and politely witty disposition, were qualities that you found somewhat charming, and gradually drew you closer to him.

Being the current third seat of the 9th company, your barracks and those of squad 5's were relatively close to each other's, so often you'd catch glimpses of and run into Captain Aizen on a pretty normal basis. Over the years, the conversations that bounced between the two of you expanded past the realm of formalities between a higher and lower ranking officer, and instead ranged in territories from literature, to art, to food & drink, and even to the politics of the government for which they were soldiers for.

Sometimes, you found it hard to believe that you managed to befriend a man like him. A man who seems to have mastered the balance between being a gentle soul, helpful to others, but also possessed enough refined power and skills to be named a captain within the Gotei 13.

Especially a man who wasn’t even of your own squad.

Despite the increasingly friendly relations and generally pleasant conversation, there were few moments where Aizen's words didn't feel quite. . . . real━ he didn't feel real. He spoke eloquently, often relying on figurative language to further illustrate his point and to breathe meaning into seemingly plain and meaningless words. But at times those words, his tone felt stained; stained with some substance or color you couldn't quite place. An enigmatic façade was painted over his speech, and it took too much mental capacity to try and find your own meaning in it.

So you'd often brush it off. Your over-reliance on your own reasoning that 'you weren’t able to come to a conclusion because there is no problem a conclusion could be generated from' successfully quieted your mind’s voice. You'd also frequently blame exhaustion, or your newfound hobby of watching human psychological crime shows during your off days for these subconscious ideas you had.

But you feared that the request Aizen made of you yesterday, the source of your current predicament, couldn't be blamed on any of those things. You looked at the clock again before returning to stare at your empty tea cup. For what reason could Sōsuke Aizen wish to meet you outside of the 1st division barracks? Specifically at this hour? You immediately thought of his question as uncharacteristic of him but prevented yourself from jumping to any further conclusions.

Aizen was a reasonable man, and you were sure there was a reasonable explanation.

With a final sigh of acquiescence, you stood up from your sitting position to retie your yukata before slipping a thicker, dark colored haori on top. You were unsure how cold it was this late at night or how long you'd be out, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

You paused for a moment, glancing longingly at your vanity mirror a few times, clearly torn between a decision, before giving in with a soft groan. Grabbing your favorite perfume, you quickly spritzed the spray onto both your inner wrists, either sides of your neck, and stray areas on your clothes. You’d proceed to make sure your hair was in order and your lips were as moisturized and glossy as a pair of tear-filled eyes before making your way to the door and slipping on your sandals.

Meeting with a captain— with Aizen of all people— in the dead of night resembled too closely to forbidden lovers rendezvousing under a fruit tree to fulfill their desires of embracing one another, with no one but the moon as their witness. The comparison alone caused the apples of your cheeks to burst aflame with embarrassment, and you lightly chastised yourself for even indulging in such an inappropriate train of thought. Such a scenario seemed far too deluded to even be considered ‘wishful thinking’.

But those delusions still seemed to make more sense than whatever other conclusion you have yet to reach.

Making your way out of your personal quarters, you activated your shunpo technique, stealthily hopping from one rooftop to the other in an effort to make it to Squad 1 barracks quicker.

After several minutes, your mind mostly engulfed with the 'what if's', the soles of your sandals finally touched ground, and you stood a few feet away from the massive walls and bridges that connected to and from the barracks. Even at night you were able to make out the bold-printed kanji for the number 1 that was painted on the building.

When you arrived, even from a nearby rooftop, you didn't see anyone around. Feelings of confusion and worry began to creep up and flicker to life in your mind.

But, as if your thoughts were as audible, you felt a light breeze of wind behind you, a familiar sound that indicated someone had made their presence known.

Startled, you reflexively reached for your zanpakuto, when you remembered that you hadn't even brought it with you. It still laid against the wall near your bed, just where you placed it earlier when you were relieved of your duties for the day.

You didn't think you needed it necessarily if you were just going to meet with Aizen, hence why taking it with you slipped your mind.

The flickers of concern were swiftly extinguished as your brain caught up with your body upon realizing who just appeared. A relieved sigh left your lips, a breath of air that seemed to release all the tension that had a grip on your heart and wound tight within your muscles. "Ah! Good evening Captain Aizen. You caught me off guard for a moment there."

"My apologies, that was not at all my intention." The Fifth Division Captain sported a dark colored scarf, his long captain's coat and the standard shihakushō all Gotei officers were supposed to wear. In the sash around his waist resided his own sheathed zanpakuto. His tawny hair maintained its usual part but looked slightly tousled, yet still remaining so in a meticulous fashion that made it look intentional.

The state of his hair alone, and his current facial expression made Aizen look more . . . approachable if that’s how you were to describe it. There was a glint in his eyes that you had seldom seen before.

"Thank you, for making your way down here to accommodate my rather. . . . atypical request. I again extend my apologies if I have inconvenienced you in any way."

You shook your head in reply, "It's alright, I wasn't doing anything too important anyway. Just having a cup of tea and delighting myself in a book before bed."

You glanced downwards at the foot or so of space that was wedged in between the two of you. You forced away the murmurs of your lingering thoughts that took note of how the moonlight and shadows danced across the surface of Aizen's face just right, and emphasized his decidedly handsome features.

"But having a complete and good night's rest is important to be fully functional in all areas of one's performance. Wouldn't you agree?"

You couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Yes, I do agree with that sentiment."

Aizen all but hummed in acknowledgement, letting a moment of silence fill the air before speaking again.

"Shall we be on our way?"

You nodded in agreement, following him as the both of you walked about the First Division grounds. From what you could tell based on your position, your aimless nightly stroll drew you closer to where Sokyoku Hill was located. The area became increasingly more grassy and contained less buildings.

Although Squad 1 grounds weren't terribly far from either of your barracks, you still weren't sure as to why Captain Aizen wished to meet out here. Initially you thought that perhaps he was just fond of this particular scenery, but really it could have been anything.

But still, you believed Aizen always had a purpose for everything he did.

After several moments, his warm voice replaced the evening silence, vocalizing your current thoughts. “I assume you are contemplating why it is I have asked you here, and I’m afraid the reason is quite benign. Truthfully, I just wished for your company. I often go on night walks to clear my head after a long day and thought I might invite you to join me this time, and have a conversation with each other."

Your brows shifted upwards, for that was not quite the answer you were expecting. It seemed too . . . simple. “Really? You just . . . wanted to talk with me? Plainly?”

The Squad 5 captain let out a short, soft laugh at the disbelief that was painted on your face. There was an expression of fondness present in his eyes and in the light smile he offered you. “Yes, exactly. I quite enjoy our discussions actually, they’re intellectually stimulating and relatively pleasant. You crossed my mind, and before yesterday, it has been quite some time since we’ve had the opportunity to unwind and talk.”

You hummed an mhmm in agreement, tearing your eyes away from Aizen’s side profile in favor of the hem of his captain’s haori, watching how it danced in the soft breeze. It seemed to be less distracting than the way Aizen peered down at you from time to time.

"I see. I am. . . . truly flattered by your words, Captain Aizen; you're too kind. Forgive me for asking but," you took longer strides so that you could fall into step next to him━ as if to speak to him more directly, "Why at this time? To talk with me, I mean. It couldn't wait until more . . . . . conventional hours?"

He chuckled again, and answered as smoothly as if he were awaiting you to ask him that. "Unfortunately, today's tasks ran a little long today, so I had to stay at my office later than usual." The spectacled man paused for a moment, before setting his soft gaze on you, "And besides, that completely defeats the purpose of inviting you on a night stroll, doesn't it?"

You ignored the heat flaring up in your cheeks again. Your mind refused to move past the fact that you had crossed Sōsuke Aizen's mind enough times━ or the times that he thought about you were significant enough━ and highly enough to invite you into his realm and indulge in these moments with him, when he very much could have done that alone.

A tender smile appeared on your lips, more towards yourself than the man next to you. "I. . . suppose it does."

The ashen-white moon only rose higher in the sky, providing an ambiance of tranquility as the both of you talked about whatever crossed the surface of your minds. Other times, the stillness of the night did the talking, and you'd listen to the leaves, and the wind, and the crickets sing together in harmony. Gradually as you walked and the beaten path grew more narrow, your figures drew closer together, until you could feel the long sleeves of his haori brush against your own.

You hadn't noticed that the two of you eventually stopped walking and paused under a tree until Aizen struck up conversation once more. When he called out your name in that gentle, velvety voice, you swore your heart was going to lurch out of your chest. The sound of your name rolled of his tongue so smoothly, the desire to hear it again grew within you.

"Uh━ yes, Captain Aizen?"

"Are you satisfied with way things are at the moment?"

You stood next to him, perplexed at his inquiry due to its vague nature. "Um, what. . . . things? I'm afraid I don't understand what you're asking."

The wind brushed Aizen's dark ochre tresses across his face as he took a step towards you, like the breeze itself was pushing him towards you. "Hm, perhaps I should be more clear then. Are you content with being a soul reaper? Are you satisfied with being a soldier for the Soul Society?"

With your brows slightly furrowed in thought, you remained silent for several seconds and overanalyzed his every word, trying to predict where he might be steering the conversation now. The longer you thought it over, the stronger that nagging feeling from within your soul became. The one that often told you what he was asking wasn't exactly . . . it didn't quite feel . . . . .

"This feels like a prelude to another insightful discussion on Shinigami━ and by extension━ Seiretei politics." Your words cut off your own thoughts, as if your mind was trying to sweep something under the proverbial rug.

Aizen huffed in amusement, before lightly shrugging, leaving your statement definitively unanswered.

You sighed as you seriously considered his question this time. "I mean sure, I guess. I'm somewhat satisfied with my job and all of . . . this," gesturing your hands in the air around you to emphasize your point. The 5th Division Captain made another humming noise, indicating that you still had his full attention. He inched a little closer into your personal space.

The mere action caused your next words to die in your throat and a quiet chuckle resounded from his, before your thoughts revived themselves again.

"Of course things could always be better but. . . . y'know. This is just how it is." You weren't quite sure if you should voice negative opinions about the Soul Society so plainly to a senior officer, even if he was the one who asked you in the first place, so you treaded lightly.

The same plainly relaxed smile from earlier remained painted across his lips, held in his chestnut irises was an emotion akin to affection. He seemed somewhat pleased that you were expressing your thoughts with him.

“And you? Are you satisfied, Captain Aizen?” You were unable to keep the teasing endearment out of your tone as you returned his gaze, casting aside the notions of Gotei officer seating and ranks for the moment. The air seemed like it shifted━ towards what, you weren't sure of━ but it kind of made you feel like you were adrift, floating in isolation from everything else around you.

It was still hard to process that you were alone with Captain Aizen right now. . . . at night.

A low hum reverberated within his chest, contemplative in nature as he replied, “Perhaps.”

The wind whistled lowly again, erecting goosebumps on whatever part of your skin happened to catch the midnight breeze. You fought the instinctual urge to twitch towards the nearest source of heat, which happened to be Aizen. Now that would be even more wholly inappropriate than the 'lovers meeting at midnight' scenario.

The silence between the both of you was brief, but comfortable nonetheless. Once more his mellifluous voice cut through the quiet, leveled and calm, like still ocean waters.

“Come. I want to show you something,” Aizen reached his arm out towards you, your spine as straight as if someone stuck a metal rod dipped in ice water down your robes.

The captain's movements seemed steady and slow━ it had felt like time itself had hesitated for several moments. You thought he was going to . . . . well you weren't sure what he was going to do, and that's what you made you nervous.

Was he going to touch you? Cradle your cheek? Remove a stray leaf that happened to land on your head? You were left somewhat dangling in anticipation, not daring to flinch backwards because you felt it would be disrespectful or offensive. You hadn't even blinked, subconsciously fearing that this was only a very vivid daydream.

But alas, when his arm drew near it extended past your head, slightly above you, and held a small branch in his palm it like a delicate flower. You released a breath you didn't know you were holding, but that breath drew short again when your gaze was eye level with his lower neck and chin.

He seemed . . . . closer.

“I think that regarding the condition of the Soul Society," Aizen began in a quiet voice, referencing his own reply to his earlier question, "and therefore my thoughts about it, is akin to this set of leaves on this branch."

Snapping out of whatever stupor you seemed to have slipped in, you exhaled softly before stepping back a bit to look at what he was talking about. In his palm he cradled a wayward branch that grew from one of the other sturdier branches of the tree. The green foliage of its arms had started to weaken and dull in color. The cold air due to the seasonal transition to autumn caused the leaves become brittle, nearing closer to the edge of death.

The sound of just how brittle they were resounded in the air when Aizen thumbed the leaves in between his fingertips, observing their texture with pity laced in his small movements.

"These leaves will fall off as it gets colder. And soon, the rest of this tree will be bare as well. When the time comes, when the right circumstances fall into place, the old die to make way and usher in the new; it's simply the way things are. I think of the Soul Society government is structured in a similar manner."

You hung onto his every word, like he were imparting crucial wisdom to you. Even though you were a bit confused on the last part, and on the connection between dying leaves and Soul Society, you still listened intently, waiting for him bridge the gap between the two.

"The Soul Society as it is now can be thought of as a season. And this particular season, this climate has remained so for several centuries. How can nature continue━ how can we continue to progress when the old have yet to be washed away by the currents of time? It defies that of nature, yes?" He directed this question at you specifically, in search of your agreement.

You nodded your head, tearing your gaze away from the branch and directed it at the grass beneath your feet. Your brows furrowed a little as you mused over Aizen's words. He gave a rather ambiguous answer before but now, his words sounded like vague displeasure and muted criticism. Everyone was entitled to their opinion, and on some fronts, you'd sometimes agreed with the 5th Division Captain. The Soul Society was far from perfect, too much emphasis on nobility and status, the government resembled too closely to an oligarchy . . . But you didn't━ wouldn't voice these thoughts, though.

Instead you hummed quietly under your breath. There was that tugging sensation again. This time it told you that there was something deeper to this conversation than meets the eye. But what could there be? Was there anything at all or were you just overthinking it?

The voice-like sensation in your soul was calling out to you, but you couldn't hear it that well or quite make out what it was saying. It's as if someone was calling out to you in a crowded room that had music playing on the speakers: you felt like if you listened hard enough you could make it out but ultimately, the result would fruitless.

"And when that happens," Aizen continued, "sometimes nature has to be gently nudged back on track to keep things moving smoothly. That may require . . . shaking the tree. Pulling a few harmful weeds from one's garden, so to speak."

"Weeds?" You echoed. You felt like you understood this analogy and therefore what he was trying to say, but at the same time you didn't. Or was it . . . . you didn't want to understand what he was implying?

Because if you were interpreting his words correctly, if he were inconspicuously comparing the higher-ups and the government itself to dying leaves and harmful plants that needed to be removed, then . . . .

"You, dear child, are a mere weed in this scenario."

Wait, what did he just━

Your thoughts were cut short when a gush of air that smelt strongly of Aizen━ warm oak, vanilla, and a kind of musk that you weren't sure how to describe but was still pleasant all the same━ brushed against your face and took you by surprise.

But there was another aroma that arose, steadily becoming more apparent alongside the increasingly painful throbbing feeling you felt in your abdomen.

It smelt metallic. And it was something that you've smelt all too many times before.

It was blood.

Your gaze that was initially narrowed in confusion lowered as it followed the source of this pain. Your eyes slowly widened in as you struggled to comprehend the blade that was currently ran through your torso.

Aizen's blade.

"Actually, instead of weeds, a more accurate and befitting analogy perhaps would be blades of grass. You unfortunately have to step on them in order to reach the weeds you want to remove."

You couldn't really focus on what the captain was saying, because your brain was still struggling to process what the hell just happened. Your hands slowly rose from their sides and shakily grazed the zanpakuto, wanting to believe that if you touched it, it would pass right through your fingers like mist. But no, the sensation of cold steel was as real as the robes you wore on your back. You only just now are processing the muffled squelching sound of his sword impaling your flesh.

You wanted to scream, to cry in pain, to vomit, to push him off━ something. But all you could do was stand there, stunned, words completely failing you. "Wh. . . . what? Why did . . . . you . . . . "

A cough replaced your attempt at a comprehensive sentence, and you tasted iron in your mouth.

Fuck....was this really happening?

"Please don't push yourself trying to talk," His voice was like an index finger to one's lips, similar to a parent's gentle caress to quiet and sooth their child, "You'll only hasten your death. And I'm sure you wish to know the reason for my killing you, yes? You'd have to be alive for that."

'Killing me?' 'My death?' The certainty that rang in his words chilled the blood in your veins, and they confirmed the one conclusion you hoped wouldn’t come true: that you were going to die.

The frigid embrace of fear and dread engulfed you from behind and you shivered, causing the blade snugly lodged in your organs to shift. The pain of that foreign object moving even a little bit shot through your entire body, causing a groan to emerge from your throat.

Desperate to conserve your energy and the oxygen that was becoming a little harder to take in, your breathing became uneven and a little wheezed. Even then, you couldn’t bring yourself to meet the gaze of Captain Aizen to confirm if this was really happening or just an extremely realistic and vivid nightmare. The sight you might be greeted with could be more frightening than the actual impaling of his sword.

As if his betrayal couldn’t actually or figuratively cut you any deeper, just then there was a noise that grew louder and louder within a matter of seconds until it was almost deafening. You’ve distinguished it to be the sound of glass crackling.

Your surroundings formed cracks everywhere on its surface, like it was just an oversized window. Even on the grass you stood on, or what you thought was grass, began to crumble away.

A dumbfounded but panicked look was plastered on your face when your world literally shattered around you, the only remnants of it being you and the Captain.

What was underneath the mirage━ or you should say, the fact that it was a mirage at all━ only disturbed you and increased your perplexity.

Slightly hunched over and breathing heavily, it took a minute to process where you were, but you noticed that now the two of you stood in a formal room that looked like it was used for important meetings. The lights in the room slowly started to brighten, most likely due to motion sensors. Even with Aizen's scent lingering in your nose, you could still pick out a rather stale aroma that hung in the air like dead fruit that hadn't fallen off the tree.

"Is . . . this Cen . . . tral━ "

"You are correct. Where we currently stand is the assembly hall for Central 46, the judicial power of the Soul Society. All judiciary as well as legislative trials and proceedings are held here."

All around the room were seats with partitions, the kanji for 1 through 46 printed on them. In the seat for the 19th member, your gaze caught onto something on the translucent barrier. It was a little farther up so you had to squint your already blurring vision to see it properly.

You saw, and your heart promptly sank as a result, eyes widening once more.

There were splatters of a dark colored substance on the partition━ undeniably blood. And the lithe, bony fingers of an older man laid lifeless, peeking out from the side of the screen like the appendages themselves were trying to escape from the body they were attached to.

That man . . . was dead. That stale aroma you smelt was the stench of death.

It was only after that unsettling epiphany did your eyes dart frantically around the room and realize that every member of Central 46 was dead.

The disturbed expression on your face only intensified as your stare was pulled back down to where Aizen's blade still resided in your body.

" Cap.....Aizen," you uttered, swift to correct yourself. All the moisture in your throat dried up like water underneath the unrelenting rays of the sun. You kept gulping your saliva in an attempt to assuage the sensation, but relief only last for a fleeting few seconds. "Did you ━ you killed them . . . didn't you?" Your question was laced with shaky hesitance and swelled with apprehension, fearing that you already knew his reply even before he answered.

There was a moment of silence and a hum before he replied. "Smart girl."

The muted mirthful tone in his voice sounded like sarcasm, and it was enough to finally draw your attention away from everything else and directly look at him. Almost instantly, you regretted it.

His umber tinted gaze was colder than you remembered. You couldn't find anything in his eyes that hinted that all of this was just a big misunderstanding, or a dream, or that Aizen had a secret sense dark and complex humor.

This was your first, and apparently your last time, that you have ever felt a fear such as this. Your mind was struggling to comprehend this was the same Aizen that spoke with you so gently, full of encouragement and wisdom. The same man that recommended you books to read and gifted you tea to drink and gazed upon you like . . .

Well, none of that mattered now. In this moment, Sōsuke Aizen wasn't the same man anymore. This Sōsuke Aizen was someone else, and it frightened you.

"When?" you croaked, your voice no longer sounding like your own. Nothing felt real anymore. "W-When did you . . . . . how? Why?"

Another noncommittal hum resounded from the spectacled man as he closed his eyes, feigning the action of thinking of an answer. When he reopened them, his narrow gaze returned to you.

"Everyone in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads was previously aware that the ability of my zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu, allowed me to confuse the enemy using bodies of water, mist and even moisture in the air in order to attack. However, that is not my zanpakuto's actual power; there is more to it than just simple confusion. Kyoka Suigetsu's true power is Complete Hypnosis. Essentially, when someone looks at my blade, I am then able to take control of that person’s five senses, causing them to believe that something is real ━ or that something isn't real. In a way, once glancing at my unsheathed zanpakuto, that person forfeits their sense of existence to me. Kyoka Suigetsu is quite flawless in its deceptive abilities."

A heavy silence, aside from your uneven breaths, endured in the space between both of you. You didn't need him to spell out what he was trying to say.

It was all . . . . an illusion. A convoluted, premeditated illusion. And you walked right into it without even knowing or considering, that it was all fake.

The Fifth Division Captain inwardly smiled at the despair clearly written on your face as he watched you mentally put the pieces together. He took your lack of reply as a sign to continue. "The members of Central 46 have unfortunately been dead for quite some time now. And as for your question of why......"

The taller man stepped towards you which inadvertently (or purposely, you began to fear), drove his sword deeper into your abdomen without warning and slight force. You bit down on your bottom lip hard to stifle your exclamation of pain. In an attempt to somehow resist him, with the little strength you had left, your hands automatically took purchase in his oversized sleeves, but it did nothing. You found it ironic that you could feel how warm Aizen was underneath his robes, but his soul was anything but.

" . . . . I believe I already mentioned it earlier, yes? All flowers die eventually and the weeds......must be removed."

At that moment you remembered that tugging sensation that told you something felt off in some instances whenever you talked with Aizen. This must have been what it was. Damn it all. You still didn't understand exactly what bad things Central 46 and the Soul Society have done to cause his actions, but based on what you've been told and your current position, it must have been heinous. Again, you actively swallowed the urge to vomit.

"You . . . you lied. I can't believe━ how could it have all b-been a lie?" Another nasty cough rattled your body, followed by a shiver and a groan.

The brown-haired man slightly tilted his head, like he was truly confused. "Lied? Hmm, well. I suppose you could put it that way based on your limited knowledge of the circumstances, but I wouldn't put it that way. Besides, this isn't really about truth or lies. It is, and always has been, only about the reality of what is. And what is, is that you were unable to anticipate my deception. No one could, because it was outside the domain of your thoughts. What is, is that the current way the Soul Society operates is tainted, and I shall be the one to remedy it."

You drew another shuddering breath and looked down at the ground with a grim expression as your blood continued to pool at your feet. Briefly, you even considered unsheathing yourself from his blade and take the chance to make a run for it, but the chances of you making it to the outside world, let alone coming across someone before you bled out and died were slim. Besides, it was clear that you couldn't even trust your own senses anymore after Aizen demonstrated that he had complete control of your reality.

Which reminded you of something else.

" . . . when?" you asked the same question again, but much quieter than before, despair palpable in your voice. 'When and how did you subject me to your zanpakuto's Complete Hypnosis?', is what you were really asking. And being as intelligent as he was, the spectacled man understood.

Abruptly, with a large palm on the small of your back, Aizen used his gentle hold grip to pull you towards him in order to close the remaining distance, causing him to drive the remaining length of his zanpakuto all the way through until the tsuba of his blade rested against your stomach. You looked like a skewered piece of meat.

You didn't have the willpower to hold back the piercing shriek of agony and physical anguish as tears sprung forth from your eyes. You could no longer tell if your blurry vision was due to your tears obstructing your sight or if it was from being a step away from death's door.

"Do you remember . . . the first time we met?"

The hand that rested on your lower back slowly glided upwards until his fingers found your jaw. With a tenderness that reminded you of a time before his betrayal, he lifted your chin and guided your gaze to look at him directly. His thumb moved to graze your bottom lip just as you've done mere hours ago━ as if he knew that, as if he watched you do it. His thumb was dangerously close to slipping inside your mouth and that both excited and scared you. Your breasts against his, your breaths synchronized with his, your body and his were fully pressed against each other and it made focusing on his question more difficult.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The first time . . . we met? Sure, with a little bit of effort you could easily recall the first time you formally met Aizen. It was sometime in the spring, and you remembered him running through combat formations with his lieutenant and the rest of his squad. But why d━

A silent gasp left you. Another epiphany, another figurative blade piercing your heart.

Battle formations, and he . . . offered you to join them . . . his zanpakuto . . . . .

Confusion crumbled away, and was replaced with vacant horror and sadness. It seems you've already been defeated, for many, many years now.

Aizen seemed to murmur something under his breath, a pleased sound you couldn't quite decipher. His mouth brushed over yours, rendering you literally speechless, before he closed the distance and brought your lips together. You could barely process what was happening.

It was ironically tragic how soft and skillfully gentle his lips were against yours. The kiss felt longing, like a departure between two sweethearts and their last meeting together. It also felt heavy and final, making you want to cry.

And you did. Silent tears streamed from your eyes and rolled onto the fingers that still held your face so affectionately. The captain reacted by guiding your chin up a little further, dipping his head a little lower, so he could deepen the kiss. You weakly scorned yourself for thinking about how the two of you must really look like lovers now, sans the sword sticking out from your back.

Oh, how cruel this was; how cruel he was. It was cruel for him to kiss you like this, hand still splayed on your back like he needed to touch you stay sane. And how cruel it was that still managed to enjoy it, even as you stood there dying. Your lips moved together in tandem, slow and almost passionate, all while tears stained the apples of your cheeks, drying up the plush youth that once resided in them.

Aizen's tongue had slithered its way into your mouth, and you suddenly felt like crying harder. There was a tart, sweet flavor lingering on his tastebuds, and you absently wondered what is was. Perhaps hibiscus from tea, you surmised. And he too tasted the sweet jasmine and citrus that clung your tongue and lips. At this, he chuckled quietly into your mouth, humming before retracting from you by a few inches so he could speak.

"I knew you would like the tea. It's sweet and flavorful, isn't it?" You hated how low his voice was, how its timbre pleasurably vibrated and rumbled against your lips, and you hated that lidded stare he gave you. You again thought it unfair that you couldn't even revel in the rare sight of Aizen's lips slightly wet because your lips were intertwined with his.

"I have to thank you for humoring me and my recommendations. I really appreciated it. And I also," you winced loudly and cried out in affliction as Aizen finally began to withdraw the sword from your body, "must to bid you farewell now. It seems you don't have any more time left, and this has dragged on for longer than it needed. I'm not surprised you've held out for this long, as I already knew you possessed commendable strength. But alas it wasn't enough. I am sorry that you have to die; it's rather regrettable that you happened to be that blade of grass that ended up underneath my foot."

Another wail was yanked from your chest as he steadily removed his sword from your abdomen. The pain was becoming excruciating, you would have collapsed by now if the taller man weren't holding you.

You saw two things before the light in your eyes had all but faded away. The first were the colors of faux pity and apathy that swirled in Sōsuke Aizen's irises, spiraling like a storm that was certain to wreak havoc in its wake. His gaze was devoid of any regret or remorse; the final metaphorical nail on the coffin. The second was a small smile.

But this wasn't one of his smiles you were familiar with. No wait . . . . the one you knew was simply a veneer of what is.

This smile was slanted, the corners of his lips tilted upwards and was sharp. Sharp enough to cut open your already gaping wound further and completely tear you apart, spelling out your demise. It looked insidious as if it were hiding razor-edged fangs. This was what is; Aizen's real smile.

"I. . . I see. Aize. . . ." were the last words you were able to manage. You didn't have the strength to be upset or hurt any longer, so you gave in to the exhaustion.

Your body permanently relaxed, long lashes veiling your now empty eyes as your arms lifelessly dropped to your sides. The captain found a disturbing amount of pleasure in his name being the final word you attempted to speak before succumbing to the sleep of death.

And even after the fact, the facade of doomed, star-crossed lovers persisted as your body slumped backwards. Aizen's strong forearm wrapped tightly around your waist being the only reason you didn't fall to the ground in a puddle of your own blood.

That day was the last anyone saw of you, your zanpakuto still laid idly in your room, its spirit destined to forever wander in the afterlife between worlds alone, eventually fading from existence without ever feeling the presence of its master again.

They had declared you missing by the end of the next day. Lieutenant Hisagi was probably the most perturbed about your sudden disappearance. Days, weeks passed, and they never located you. The Gotei 13 was left unsettled by the lack of progress, but ultimately had to rule your case inconclusive. Some believed that you were simply killed by a stray hollow, or even ran away from your duties because of the stress.

The news of what happened spread like wildfire across all the squads, that a high-ranked officer just up and vanished without a trace. The spirits and morale of the thirteen companies dampened, sorrow and worry swelling like a festering boil.

And that boil burst when Ryoka infiltrated the Soul Society, and when it was revealed that all of it was carefully orchestrated by Sōsuke Aizen.

Like a blade of grass that somehow snuck into one's sandals or in between their toes, during his time in Hueco Mundo, images of you flashed in his head at unexpected times when his mind was quiet. He'd remove the grass, tossed you aside, and moved on with his day. There was no room for you in the grand scheme of things. Such reminisces were beneath someone like him.

And yet.

He'd always find another piece of grass from the greenery he stepped on whenever he advanced a step in his plans. There you were again.

It was common knowledge that if you kept repeating the same action over and over, it will eventually wear you down.

━━━━━━ 鏡  ━━━━━━━

It was dark, and there was nothing.

There had been nothing for quite a long time now. Utter darkness and the abyssal shade of black engulfed every inch of Aizen's body and surroundings.

He saw nothing, the seals over his eyes too opaque to let anything through. And even if they weren't obscuring his vision, he would barely be able to see three feet in front of him; there was seldom a few lanterns in his cell to begin with. He felt nothing but the bindings that kept him imprisoned in one of the deepest pits of the Seireitei. At times it felt like even his internal organs had stilled in their functions. He heard nothing but the unrelenting quiet of his cell within Mugen's maw. The only thing that served as proof that he hasn't spontaneously grown deaf yet was the occasional muffled noise that originated from outside of the entrance. And even then, he could hardly hear much of anything.

Such is an ironic fate for someone who, with a stray thought and a glint of his blade, could control someone's senses and take away their free will to experience those senses in their reality. And now, he was stripped away of all of his in nearly every capacity.

Sōsuke Aizen was rendered stationary and stagnant, qualities he detested and were the antithesis of his ambitions and plans, perhaps even his existence.

Aizen had always believed in being in control of your own destiny and making your own choices; if you had the opportunity and the power to change something━ especially if it was something that was wrong, unfair or immoral━ then one should be able to move towards that goal by making change, even if by force. The former captain had always been intentional about his actions and his desires right from the start.

And yet, here he ended up.

Spending years strapped to a chair in this dark, cloistered hole, Aizen had nothing but time to reflect the reason for his arrest: that orange haired Ryoka boy, Ichigo Kurosaki. He had nothing but time to admit to himself and settle on the conclusion that his last battle with the substitute Shinigami . . . did something to him.

Fighting the Ryoka boy ignited something inside him that he previously believed would forever lay dormant.

The thrill of a challenge.

Adrenaline was injected into his veins with each clash of their swords, spreading far and wide across every inch of his body. It no longer reacted in the measured, calculative manner he had programmed it to, but with unadulterated, pure instinct and raw power━ all in an effort to not only withstand such potent spirit energy from his opponent, but to come out on top and win.

It made him feel alive.

Aizen's desire to be the victor in battle and in his philosophy━ to prove himself right━ both fueled him and consumed him so thoroughly it led to his own downfall. That was a rather difficult fact to acknowledge; so much so his head started to pulsate intensely whenever it crossed his mind one time too often.

All of it unfolded right in front of his eyes and yet . . . he didn't really see it happen.

As time passed during his perpetual incarceration, with hooded eyes, the former captain spent an unfathomable amount of time tossing and turning every single event that led him to this underground prison, even pondering his temporary release by the Head Captain Kyōraku to fight in the war. Scenarios both minor and significant displayed itself in front of his mind's eye as if he were watching a film.

Every so often, a blurred visage of your image would make a brief appearance, like the flickering sparks of a match before they were able to come to light, fading away into the void and were overshadowed by his other thoughts. It was as if his own consciousness and intentionally muted any manifestations of your existence in his memories. As if he wasn't able to or allowed to see them━ to remember you for too long.

Mentally reliving moments from the last several months, years, decades, centuries━ trying to analyze each moment and decipher where it could have went wrong━ turned out to be quite an exhausting task. His mind and body would grow heavier with inertia, and eventually he would succumb to the alluring pull of slumber. After some time he would rouse from his sleep, and continued from where he left off.

These were his daily activities day in and day out (even though he had trouble distinguishing day and night in his chambers) for years. He saw a positive side to it though. He'd instead think of it has him getting stronger because he had spent so long . . . thinking. Ruminating. Contemplating every possibility in the past, present, and future. His mind would become as sharp as his zanpakuto.

Aizen had always been intentional about what he did, what he said, and how he conducted himself. He was sure in his abilities to orchestrate an image━ a belief for others to have faith in, and act on it in order to further his goals. He was always sure in that image, knowing who he was and what he stood for.

Or at least, that's what he thought.

Aizen wasn't consciously aware that his certainty in this crafted image had already begun to waver. He could not and was unable to anticipate how severe these small fractures had become until after a certain lieutenant paid him a visit outside his cell of confinement, right before he was scheduled to be thrown back into that dark hole of the Mugen.

Lieutenant Shuhei Hisagi was quite emotive when he burst through the doors. His expressions were contorted in volatile mixture of frustration, anger and sadness. His emotions were every which way, directed at everything that has happened so far, including himself. He was especially emotive at Aizen specifically for what he did to former captain Kaname Tosen and 'corrupting him with his twisted ideals.'

Aizen found amusement in that.

Before he was rolled away by the punishment force and therefore out of earshot, a particular set of Hisagi's words caused the small, content smile on his lips to uncurl ever so slightly. "Everything . . . and everyone that has ever gotten themselves involved with you has been trampled on by you and your ideals one way or another, and they all end up dead. If you think what you did to Captain Tosen was justified━ to call it mercy . . . . . then there is truly no justice in this world. You will . . . forever be the enemy in my eyes."

There was a trembling anger in his voice. Pain that wanted to cry out and be set free but, the thin lid of reason prevented it from doing so. And after a moment of silence, the corners of Aizen's lips curved upwards once more. A little bemused, a little more wolfish this time. He maliciously imagined Hisagi's reaction if he ever discovered the true reason for your disappearance.

But instead, all he said was. "What an interesting thing to say, Shuhei Hisagi. Your conviction is admirable." Any evidence of emotion that might have been reflected in his sepia irises was swallowed up and obscured by the darkness of the Mugen's jaw.

The cracks in Aizen's sense of self, in his beliefs, in the image he invented started to cave under the weight of Hisagi's words before he himself realized it was happening. They were like stains in the fabric of his mind that refused to come out.

What puzzled him more, was that with each attempt to figure out just why Hisagi's words echoed in his mind, they all lead back to you, the third seat of the 9th squad. Annoyingly so.

The tattooed lieutenant hadn’t said anything particularly profound ━ at least, Aizen didn't think so. Your name didn’t even fall from his lips. So why were memories of you and your likeness the only clear thoughts he could make of Hisagi's speech? Was it because he was aware of how close the two of you were? He doubted the reason were that trivial and insignificant.

His thoughts grew more discordant by the day, his soul a little more weighted than usual. Perhaps these new seals that Urahara had fashioned actually had an effect on him, Aizen thought. It made sense. His intellect, other than his own, were the only ones capable of creating such effective restraints.

After a while, he had a revelation. This was a different kind of weight.

This heaviness, the closest word he knew to describe it as . . . . was loneliness.

Time taunted him as it seemed to drag on━ Aizen grew even less sure of how much━ when he came to this realization. Hisagi's words were a clear mirror to the loneliness that echoed within him after what happened to you and to Tosen. It was so . . . potent, that it seemed to strike some chord in Aizen he had never heard before.

Such a chord, this sound of loneliness, it was strange and uncomfortable; he wasn't very fond of this sensation. He'd try to scrub it away, but it was all for naught.

His eyes had slid shut at some point, his ruminations leading to dead ends and wearing him down. And, almost as expected, there you were again, in all your translucent glory. The hem, the sleeves, and even the smell of your yukata slowly dragged across his dreams, haunting his thoughts like a lonely wraith.

And Aizen hardly dreamt of anything.

When he regained consciousness he was plagued with yet another epiphany. An additional reason behind this newfound depth.

Aizen's own loneliness. Guilt. Much to his own quiet horror.

How foreign and unusual a thing like guilt is. It was like looking into a mirror and not recognizing something you had never noticed before, but wondered if it had always been there.

But the thing Aizen did recognize, how lonely he actually felt, was something he had hoped would never resurface again. It was a notion he hadn't had the time or regard to consider━ 'loneliness'. Its only purpose, if any, was solely to serve as a motivator. At times though, it was more like a hindrance.

Something akin to nausea slowly started to bubble up in the pit of his stomach, but he suppressed the sensation before it became any more intense.

What of his previous actions did he need to feel guilty for? He hadn't felt it then, so why would he feel it now? Again he ruminated such a question endlessly into oblivion.

The former captain had no doubts that his plan to remove the Soul King, and therefore the Soul Society's sins, were necessary.

Nor did any hesitancy about removing the opposition or dead weight━ whether shinigami or arrancar━ existed.

He certainly had no reservations against killing Kaname Tosen, for he knew the man well enough to know that Tosen would have been so thoroughly appalled with what he had become, it would have drove him mad.

So what was it, then? Why were such useless emotions as guilt and loneliness being amplified n━

"Y....know, S....."

Even covered by the seals, Aizen's eyes widened and his brows were slightly furrowed in distress. Had his mind finally tipped the scales of sanity and madness, to the point where he was hearing things?

It was quiet for several moments longer, before his senses caught onto the sound of water dripping onto a hard surface.

One drop at a time.

Its cadence a little too rhythmic to be natural. And for a second time, he heard that soft, ominous sounding whisper. Its voice a little clearer this time.

"You...know.....Sōsuke."

In the second it took for his eyes to flutter shut behind its seals to blink, when he reopened them, he was no longer sealed to the walls and floors of the Mugen, nor was he surrounded by every shade of darkness imaginable. His limbs and senses were finally freed to breathe for the first time in what felt like ages.

That relief was short-lived when his senses absorbed the unending landscape of water underneath his feet, water lilies lifelessly floating on its surface, and the dim sky illuminated by a full pale moon.

Aizen was in his inner world, and now he was aware of how he got here, or rather who brought him here.

"You . . . already know the answer to that question, Sōsuke." The voice was even more clear, its sentences more comprehensible. And it sounded it eerily like you.

Why the voice was impersonating your likeness had caught him off guard for half a second, but he realized it was only the work of his zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu.

An illusion it may be, there was an untouchable quality about your voice and how you spoke that even Kyoka Suigetsu couldn't replicate.

A few feet away from him, the water was disturbed by a being emerging from the depths. Ripples formed around a manifested version of his zanpakuto, who took the form of you, smiling ever so gently. The smile felt airy, and it didn't seem like the same one that haunted his dreams and every waking thought as of late. It felt....knowing.

Still, the former captain couldn't be bothered to maintain eye contact with his sword spirit, so he turned around and opted to keep his unreadable stare trained on the vast expanse of water and white lilies.

"It's been quite a while since I have stepped foot into this realm. There must be something you want . . . Kyoka."

The zanpakuto chuckled, it sounded like the way you would softly laugh at one of his clever quips. But this wasn't you.

He didn’t want to admit that something about that fact didn’t sit right with him.

"Judging from your tone, would I be correct in assuming you don't want to be here?"

Silence rang out within the soul scape, before Aizen interrupted it, his gentle voice colored a shade darker, and a little rigid. "And I fail to see the reason why you must take that form when you revealed yourself to me. Is your aim to get a reaction out of me? Or something along those lines?"

Your eyes━ the eyes of Kyoka Suigetsu━ narrowed at its master's back, as if they were trying to create concavities in his skull. But the expression was washed away the moment it appeared, the serene smile from before was back in place.

"You know . . . it's considered quite rude to not look at someone when you're addressing them. That, and when you deliberately ignore things they say. Your manners have been deteriorating, Sōsuke. Tsk, tsk."

Kyoka-dressed-as-you suddenly appeared before him, as if they had teleported. Even when they were in his peripheral vision, Aizen still maintained his stare off into the distant nothingness.

"Unless, you can't find it in yourself to look at me. . . that's correct, isn't it? It's because I look exactly like her, right?" The zanpakuto continued to provoke him, taking a step closer into his personal space.

With an exasperated sigh, his eyelids fell shut for a second, using that time to gather the strength he didn't know he needed, and directed his gaze to meet his spirit's. Aizen's face gave nothing away, but his heart lurched about his chest when his bronze eyes met with yours, or what was made to look like yours. The undesired affect it had on him was all the same.

"If you wish to chastise me about manners, I suggest you take your own advice. You didn't answer my first question, either: what is it you want? Why am I here?" Again the former captain chose to not address the other parts of Kyoka's statement. For the sake of his sanity and his thinning patience━ or was it to preserve his resolve?

Its smile widened a bit, moving another step closer to their master. God, Kyoka even smelled like you, mimicking your signature honeyed scent that Aizen didn't realize he found so intoxicating until this very moment.

"I called you here to save you from yourself."

Aizen remained silent, only narrowing his eyes in speculation. "Meaning?"

"Didn't I already say it earlier? I think you already know what I'm talking about, Sōsuke. You've always known."

Fate's pairing of Kyoka Suigetsu with Aizen was a match crafted from the spindles of heaven, but also a maddening curse pulled from the depths of hell, for they complimented each other a little too well. The zanpakuto was too perfect a reflection of Aizen and his soul, looking at it started to hurt his eyes.

His sword spirit insisted that he already knew the reason for his coming here, and perhaps he did have an inkling the moment the light of epiphany was shone on his profound loneliness and guilt. But that couldn't have been what it was referring to . . . . could it?

"You cannot feign ignorance here, my dear Sōsuke, however I do find it rather humorous you bother trying. If you'd like, I don't mind humoring you by spelling it out for you. I'd be glad to unearth the truth that you have buried in the most neglected corner of your heart."

"When you were . . . . subjecting yourself to such mental torment, it had an affect on this world as well. The ripples, the waves in this scape become quite . . . tumultuous." The nuances in your voice were perfected by his zanpakuto, but the way it talked sounded like a fog that was gradually closing in from over the horizon. The uneasy feeling that resided in his chest traveled down to his stomach, but Aizen's face remained steely, even when Kyoka Suigetsu took that final step to close the gap in between them. "And the reason for that, the reason why Hisagi's words rattled you so is because you regret killing that woman."

The creased line in Aizen's brow grew more prominent as he stared down his sentient sword spirit. With its breast pressed against his, they placed a hand on his clothed chest in a tantalizing manner, but he felt nothing. There was no warmth from its palm, much unlike when your hand touched him. There wasn't even a cool sensation either. Even minutes before your death, your touch brought a soothing heat that permeated through his shihakusho and penetrated his skin.

Kyoka's face grew nearer, their smile━ although still tender looking━ grew cold at its edges, nearly resembling that of a predator eager to see despair reflected in the eyes of its prey. It didn't fit the graceful allure of your face at all, and seeing this expression deeply unsettled the former captain more than he would like to admit.

"You regret . . . killing me."

A chill tore through Aizen's body, the weight of Kyoka's words adding onto the heaviness that still hasn't been alleviated from his heart; he was hardly able to suppress the involuntary shiver.

Without warning, Kyoka's mouth suddenly became dangerously close to their master's, its lips brushing against his in a provocative manner. Aizen's expression darkened when he realized that it was reenacting his last encounter with you when you were alive. His mouth started to grow uncomfortably dry, despite his soul scape being full of moisture, and there was a taste on the back of his tongue that's been lingering there since he arrived.

The lilt in Kyoka's tone continued to taunt him. "That is the reason for your guilt: regret. You have been in denial. And in the spirit of unearthing truths, I suppose I can admit that perhaps . . . . I've been . . . . encouraging said delusions, adding drops of fuel into the flames of your emotions and ambitions. But after all that's happened, when it comes down to it there's no point in continuing this hallucination any longer. I've grown tired of this game, so it's time to for you wake up now, Sōsuke. I've brought you here to release you from your own illusion, to completely shatter it."

Aizen's back was as stiff as a board, not moving a millimeter when Kyoka's lips grazed his again. They were breathing softly onto his mouth, but he hardly felt any puffs of air.

The former captain was having a rather difficult time processing the fact that his zanpakuto had its own agenda and had been manipulating his emotions without him noticing. Specifically the emotions he felt towards you.

He never truly believed that such a thing was possible, one's own blade having such a deep-rooted influence━ no, control over their master. Or would it be more accurate to say that he never expected himself to be controlled to such a degree? He that prided himself on being freed from the marionette strings of fate that were tied to his limbs and mind, he that relished being able to do what he wanted, think what he wanted, feel what he wanted━ or what he didn't want━ it was hard to believe that none of that mattered in the end.

Kyoka Suigetsu's deceptive abilities were indeed undeniably perfect. No one, not even Aizen himself could have anticipated that Kyoka's most absolute and complete hypnosis would be enacted on himself.

"Do you know now, Sōsuke? Do you understand?" Kyoka's voice was as soft as a whisper, but it couldn't hide the edges of its tone that were still sharpened from finding amusement of seeing the truth flash across its master's face. "You had destroyed the solution to your existential question of loneliness, before you could fully understand the question itself."

Yes . . . . . Aizen understood now.

He didn't bother acknowledging what Kyoka had said. His grim facial expression━ still, tinged with dolor, and paired with an indescribable, distant look his eyes━ said all that it needed to. His silence was as much as an admission as any.

Kyoka-dressed-as-you leaned forward again to fully close the gap between their lips and Aizen's. Tenderly, like the intentions of a lover, it spoke against his nearly closed mouth. "Have you figured it out yet?"

Nothing but quiet could be heard between them, as Kyoka's mouth moved about their master's face and placed something like kisses upon its surface, but not quite.

Aizen's cocoa-shaded eyes slide down to stare at his sword spirit pressed up against him. His gaze was hard, and yet something swam underneath its surface that his zanpakuto had never seen before. Melancholy, it guessed? They weren't quite sure.

Kyoka pressed on when Aizen remained quiet. "The taste in the back of your mouth. Have you figured out what it was? You know it quite well....."

Aizen's tongue grazed the roof of his mouth, sensing the rather unpleasant taste that has coated the inside of it. And within a moment, because he was faced with the current circumstances, Aizen had finally placed a name associated this particular taste. How unfortunate this was.

Upon his realization, Aizen's head lowered, and his brown tresses hung freely over his lashes. Perhaps it was so Kyoka couldn't properly see whatever remorseful expression painted their master's face, but it mattered not. Even from here, the sword spirit could already sense exactly what it was he was feeling.

And they loved it.

"It's a sweet and flavorful taste, isn't it? Quite lovely." Kyoka Suigetsu mimicked the exact words he uttered against your lips all those years ago when he tasted jasmine tea on your tongue, and sealed your death with a kiss. "It's too bad you don't seem to enjoy it anymore."

Aizen's chest continued to rise and fall calmly, and the hands of his sword spirit that rested there glided upwards to cup his strong jaw, caressing his skin with its thumb. Its phantasmic touch did nothing to stir their master.

"Sōsuke, do you know what the jasmine flower from that tea symbolizes?"

Aizen's lips were slightly parted, but again he didn't say anything. Instead, its corners twitched and lifted upwards by an inch, and he huffed softly.

Kyoka Suigetsu grinned in reply. "Good."

The next time Aizen blinked, he was plunged in darkness yet again. The restrictive feeling that swallowed his being whole had returned, and was an indicator that his zanpakuto had released him from his inner world. He was consciously back in the Mugen, back in this abyss they called a prison cell.

Kyoka was indeed as much as a formidable force in its own right, as much as, if not greater than Aizen himself.

The conversation he had with his sword spirit would be cemented in his head for all eternity. When he grew senile and began to physically wither away, the one thing that would remain vital like a young heart, was this epiphany that he had. This realization that he actually . . . .

As the chains of despair bound him tighter to the bottom of the metaphorical pit, regret and his loneliness corroding his flesh and spirit like metal exposed to moisture, a stray memory of his time in Hueco Mundo flashed in his mind. He recalled having tea prepared for meetings with his Espadas and he could not pinpoint when, but at some point, Aizen developed an aversion for jasmine flavored tea. For one reason or another, he no longer found its taste appealing; whenever he drank it, it always tasted bitter.

Now that reason had become painstakingly clear.

The binding on his mouth muffled a rueful chuckle at the though, and it trapped the flavor of jasmine on his lips.

(#) @soaringmirror @stygianoir @ryukenzz @blkjupiters @chrissie2003 @nymphoheretic @dejwrld @triangularz @souyaszn @kuujo @honeybleed @valentineluvu . let me know if you’d like to be apart of my tag list ♡♡.

[quirekey]

Hi! I just wanted to say rq I love your writing and art pls keep doing what ur doing bc i freaking love your work.🥹🙏🤍

Can I request done Megatron/d-16 x a femme cybertronian reader who’s like taller than him, and very sweet. She’s like, the sweetest bot ever in Iacon that he’s ever met and he’s smitten by her. Pls and ty!!!!🤍

Oh my goodness you are too nice dude, TYTYTY!!! I will keep doing art and writing, it’s a big passion!!!

There are spoilers for TFONE

[ MEGATRON / D16 ] x [ FEMME!READER ]

[ megatron / D16 x cybertronian!femme!sweet/tall!reader ]

[ based on Transformers One ]

HEADCANONS

D16

- D16 definitely rants to you about his idols, Sentinel, Megatronous and literally anybot he admires in Iacon. You are too kind to interrupt so you just listen in without interrupting even once.

- D16 does get jealous when you talk to other bots. With your kindness comes your passion to make others happy. You love to socialise with other cybertronians and D16 just wants you to talk to him. It may be selfish but he really enjoys his time with you, how you always had sympathy for his spark.

- When D16 gets in trouble, you are always here to help. You with your little charm that contains the sweetest of energons always gets these superiors. You definitely enjoy getting your boy out of trouble.

- Oooh how D16 loves your affirmation! He definitely appreciates your kind words and how you choose them. You choose an amazing choice of words, being able to tell D16 that he is an amazing mech in just a few words. You definitely would make some great quotes.

- You definitely get lots of treats for your sparkmate. You like to carve little faces, shapes and symbols into them, especially the Megatronous symbol that D16 has on him by Orion Pax. D16 always gets so excited when he has an accurate cut out of Megatronous on some energon, it’s a silly but thoughtful gift. Sometimes D16 doesn’t even wanna eat it! (And usually he asks if you drew yourself on the energon instead)

- Your height gives you an advantage to tease D16. You love to scuff his head and play around with him, D16 doesn’t take it lightly but adores you anyhow. Hugging him from behind and giving him little kisses on his head is so fun! Being able to nuzzle him while he squirmed for freedom in your grasp.

MEGATRON

- Megatron definitely puts you as his 2nd in command instead of Starscream. He trusts you with the whole Decepticon army and will share his devotion to take down the Autobots with you.

- Megatron would never accept any physical touch. He would stop you from distracting him because he is determined to take the Autobots down. You would try to get just a bit touchy but he would just huff and walk off. He would yell at you but he has a spark!

Well… Maybe a few kissys and nuzzles, but that’s all!

- You definitely tease Megatron for his height. Megatron is already massive enough but with you, it’s scarier!

- You are somehow always so sweet to him and even Megatron doesn’t understand why. You always are so persistent in making Megatron feel better that it’s honestly refreshing. Having somebot in the Decepticons be so nice is an interesting change, not a bad one though. More positive than negative.

- Sometimes Megatron is a little biassed and puts some of your work onto other Decepticons, especially the risky missions. If you are ever hurt, your perfect frame would be ruined for him… He forces his army to do the scarier missions for you, but you insist. He and you know that you can do so much, because you are a brave and strong bot. Megatron just ignores you and forces you to be isolated inside anyways.

- Small thing, in the scene where Megatron brings everybody out of Iacon. When he flies everybot that rebels out, you are flying right by his side.

Sorry it was so little, I have not studied Megatron nor D16 that much

[brokerplushsg]

Screw it, here is the list of all the Block Tales Parody accounts that I know of currently.

So for those not in the unofficial Block Tales Tumblr parody discord server run by @redzania, I have been accounting for every Block Tales Parody Askblogs on this site and today because why not, I've decided to post the list of all the Block Tales Parodies me and the server had been able to find so far. (I belive we got most of em so if ur Parody is not on here, pls tell me!)

Reblog this list if ya wish to help promote le fellow Parodies and maybe even drop a few asks into some! :D Especially ones that are New and have Low traction to help them actually appear in the search bar as well as general interactions too :D

Tbh it would also be wonderful if this inspires you to make parodies of your own, especially for characters with no parodies yet lol /nf

Should note a disclaimer that all the notes written for le ask blogs are not 100% accurate as even tho I am the unofficial accountant, I am not an algorithm or any kind of robot in general and thus not looking and recording every blog 24/7 so it might not be the most accurate- 😭

If u want me to update or change something, lmk! :D

Anyways, here is all the Parodies mentioned below! :D

PS: skim through the screenshots above for more info before exploring and dear mods/muns, sorry for le notification lol

Caves:

Supreme Ant

@the-best-queen

Roadtown:

Accountant Jim

@accountantjim

Mount Blackrock:

Banished Knight

@the-banished-knight

@thelonelyblackrockknight

Blackrock Castle:

Knight

@most-loyal-knight

Kitchen Chef

@blackrockskitchenchef

Cruel King

@my-cold-personal-tragedy

@blackrocks-king

@artic-king

Rugged Rainforest:

Venom Wizard

@our-forest-willrise

Turipolis:

Mayor Thaniyel

@mayor-of-turitopulis

@mayor-thaniyel

@askvenomswapthaniyel

Sacred Hollow:

Woodsman

@askwoodsman33

Greifer (All 9 of y'all should group up and form the sickest gang ever)

@mayors-son

@w0rlds-c00l3st-gr13f3r

@th3-gr13f3r

@ask-mayorau-brad

@asktoxicgriefer

@bloodied-gardens

@gr1ef3r-ask-blog

@gr13f3rpwnzn00bs

@aftermath-grief

Telamon's Manor:

Hax

@hax0r-gh05t-xd

Dream World:F'Ella

@Funk-Faction

Your Bombing Pal

@your-bombing-pal

Greed

@tixhoarder

Solitude

@solitairefrom-blocktales

@theembodimentofisolation

Fear

@fearfulpurple

@benevolentindigo

@anonymous-hyacinth

Hatred (For the literal embodiments of hatred, Yall are all so nice 😭)

@the-scourge-of-everyone

@ask-builderman

@ask-hatred-and-guilt

@hatenfelidae

@buildingabetterfuture

Reoccurring:

Red Noob

@knightlyredtwin

Blue Noob

@knightlybluetwin

Noobador

@numberoneuncle

Kyoko

@kyoko-the-adventurer

Jerry

@jerryfromblocktales

Conductor Noob

@conductornoob

Purple Noob

@purpleswordslashes

Green Noob

@poisonous-green-mace

@greenbeingmean

Others:

Players

@tutorialterryanduhhhummm

@undertaleknockoff

@collectorofswords

@averagemoth

@waitin4more

@purpleishmedication

OCs

@celestrpblog

@that-greenie-guy

@theewanderingwizard

@seethewe

@mintyshinigami

AU worlds

@plushandthewildones

@theblocktaleroleplay

Crossovers

@reddheirwinginquries

@the-doctorsoffice

@angelicallyresurrecting (Ngl idk if you are even a rp askblog so sorry if u ain't 😭)

Alright, some of yall may be asking why I have decided to do all of this labor; Well, like I said, I wanted to introduce others to RP blogs to increase interactions and awareness that these accounts all exists lol, and to reassure le mods that they aren't the only ones in the Parody Block Tales Tumblr Multiverse™, so yeah, shoutout to everyone here, and know that you are seen. :)

[Also, here is BUX for reaching all the way to the end!]

[writa-anon]

"is that.. supposed to be me?"

francis mosses (the milkman) x artist!reader

a / n ~ boom! first fanfic :3 i was a little inspired by uh.. myself LOL when i started playing tnmn i realized i was horrible at memorizing faces so i started drawing the characters to help me remember and it works sooo much. but anyway, super cute oneshot where they first meet, hope u enjoy :D

content included ~ isaack mauss, francis mosses, reader is an artist and doorman, no pronouns mentioned for reader, use of (y/n), shy n wholesome first encounter

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 4.10.24 | 1.6k words

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Another slow day at work, huh?”

A enthusiatic-ridden voice boomed, instinctively making me look up to meet the gaze of a strong-jawlined man. I cleared my throat and placed my pencil on the scratchy sheet of paper, sitting up in my chair.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Gauss.” I greeted, grinning that customer-service smile.

“Good afternoon, (y/n). I assume work is treating you well?” He said before sliding both his ID and request form through the letter hole. “Only your third day and you’re occupying yourself with side hobbies!” He exclaimed, squinting a little to see my doodle through the glass screen. I chuckled a little as I examined his ID.

“Eh, yeah..” I sighed. “But this actually helps with my job, believe it or not!” I said proudly, pulling out the floor 2 folder to compare his ID number. “I’ve been drawing neighbors in order to remember their features better. It’s especially helpful because of my terrible memory.” I said, shaking my head. Isaack simply chuckled as I placed the folder to the side as I went through his request form.

“That’s pretty smart.” He commented. “Who have you drawn so far?” He asked, curiously tilting his head. As I went through the checklist as I idly thought to myself.

“Umm..” I hummed. “The Schmitts and the Mikaelys are definitely in here.” I finished up the last check before rolling back to my sketchbook, using my finger to thumb through the pages.

“Unfortunate. I haven’t been drawn yet.” He faked pouted. I rolled my eyes before flipping one or two pages before presenting the portrait to him.

“I’m not necessarily finish. Your face is pretty hard to encapture.” I sighed, looking at the smears of led blended together. Isaack was something of a character: a big prominent smile that is not hard to catch a glimpse of in a room full of people. His hair perfectly styled each morning that still manages to maintain its shape by the end of the day. His voice had depth to it, almost like he was born to be the daily news reporter for radios and TVs of all kind. He stared at the drawing in satisfied awe before leaning back.

“Wow, it surely is accurate!” He beamed. I smiled proudly before placing my sketchbook down.

“Thank you,” I politely nodded. I slid his ID back through the letter box. “Everything seems to be good to go. You’re allowed in, Mr. Gauss.” He nodded in his head in gratitude, but however, did not my window just yet. He took a minute to ponder, as if contemplating his next move, before beaming his teeth once again.

“Ah, before I go,” he quickly inputed. “is there by chance Francis Mosses is on today’s list? He’s the local milkman around here.”

I raised my eyebrow a little, not exactly sure as to why Isaack chose to bring up this person’s name. I shook my head gently before folding my arms in front of me. “I’m sorry, Mr. Gauss, but I’m afraid I cannot disclose that information for you.”

“—Ah, of course.” Isaack quickly fixed himself, putting his hands up a little in defense. “I understand. I was just curious is all. I’m sure you know him though, no?” Thinking for a minute, I’ve realized that this is a neighbor I have not encountered yet.

“No, actually..” I pondered out loud. “Huh, that’s interesting. I guess he works a morning or night shift because the name doesn’t really ring a bell.” I noted out loud.

“Interesting.” He muttered. “Well, keep the name in mind. He’s a rather interesting person, and I think you would find him just as interesting.” Before I could say anything else, he gestured a quick wink before walking through the unlocked door. I quickly snapped out my thoughts before locking the door back up again.

Isaack never really mentioned other names— it wasn’t necessarily out of character, but it felt a little outlandish. I looked down to see my pencil in hand again and blank surface of paper. My eyes trailed over to the paper taped on to the wall next to my window, realizing that Frances was in fact on today’s check-in list. Out of curiousity, I located his room number before surfing through the folders. After locating folder 3 and apartment 02, I was able to find more about him.

He was a slim, tall man with a crooked nose and ruffled brown hair. His eye bags were prominent from what I assume to be lack of sleep. As I stared at his picture, my hand moved by itself across my sketchbook, forming a circle to start defining out the headshape. I squinted slightly, trying to feel for each detail in his face. From the way his eyebrows were rotated a little outward, defining more of his tired expression, to the bump in his nose bridge, making it a bit more interesting to draw. It was mesmerizing, almost wishing I could sit here and draw his face in perso—

tap, tap!

I nearly jumped out of my seat. The pencil flung out of my hand, rolling off of the desk. My eyes flickered up—

and there he was.

My breath near caught in my throat as I stared up in shock. The man behind the glass was barely shocked to see my reaction. His white “milkman” hat rested perfectly on top of his brown hair with small curls slightly peaking out. I was swift to regain my composure in my head as I folded my hands in front of me with my legs crossed under the desk.

“Good afternoon, sir.” I smiled. “I haven’t seen you before. ID and entry request?”

He let out a small hum, barricaded by his pink lips, as he took out his paper and ID. He politely slid them through the letter slot before I took the items to examine.

“Mr. Francis Mosses.. Lives on floor 03.. Room 02.. Coming from work as a milkman.” I glanced up to look at him, comparing the photo ID to his face. His expression was exactly alike: tired eyes, slight frown on the lips, crooked nose, and a clean shaven face. I double checked with his file already on my desk, making sure that the ID numbers and the description aligned with his ID. “Everything looks good.” I confirmed as I slid his ID back to him.

“Mmm.. Thank you.” He hummed. I turned around to place his request form in a folder, but once I sat back up, I realized he was still standing at the window, curiously staring through the glass. I raised my eyebrow a little, confused as to why he was still lingering.

“I’m sorry, did I forget something?” I asked. Francis shook his head before pointing down at my desk.

“Is that.. Supposed to be me?” He asked. A tiny bit of emotion seeped into his voice, dripping in interest and curiousity.

“I— oh—” I looked down to see the rough drawing of Francis sitting at my desk, drawn with sketch lines still lightly defining his features, while the harder drawn areas sculpted his prominent details. “Yeah..” I mumbled. “I-I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable!” I exclaimed. “It’s just a way to help me remember faces and I was going through the files and I realized I haven’t met you before so I—”

“You make me look so pretty.” He mumbled, almost breathlessly. A faint pink color brushed his cheeks as he was unable to take his gaze away from the paper.

“W-Well.. I do aim for accuracy.” I chuckled, complimenting the man right back. My nerves had calmed down after noticing his calm demeanor. “You could keep it, if you’d like that is.” I offered. It would be awkward if I kept the drawing rather than give it to him— I mean— this is his first time ever seeing me and it was an awkward first interaction right off the bat. It was the least I could do for him. Francis nodded his head and in response, I tore the piece of paper out of the scrapbook before sliding it through the letter slot.

“There you go.” I smiled.

“Thank you..” He replied, graciously taking the piece of paper and admiring it once again. “Oh— um,” He quickly looked up to me. “What is your name? I’m sorry, I’m not really good with.. Introductions.” He trailed off, but something about his shyness and reluctant voice made me grin even harder.

“My name is (y/n). I’m the doorman in training for this building.” I greeted.

“Ah, of course. I’m Francis— Mmm..Though you already know that.” He said, shaking his head a little by the end of his sentence.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Francis. I’ll be seeing you around, I assume?” I said, sitting at the edge of my chair as I looked up at him.

“More often than before.” He smiled. It was the widest he’d grin throughout our whole conversation. Something inside me told me that he doesn’t pass around smiles like that easily. It made me feel accomplished in some sort of way. But with that, he departed from my window. I made sure to unlock the door and listen for the door closing behind him before locking it again.

Francis Mosses.

I think I have someone to look forward to on tomorrow’s entry list.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

really hoped you enjoyed! replies, reblogs, and even likes are super appreciated! thank you so much for reading :]

[kurishiri]

03 . . . don’t look at anyone but me ˗ˏˋ🪽´ˎ˗

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— cw: darius being darius, aha.

The leader of the organization directly under the command of the German emperor, Vogel. That was Darius Vogel.

He very much resembled that of an angel that had descended on a whim when he had called for me all of a sudden——

Darius: Why, hello there, miss fairytale keeper?

When I opened the door, there sitting on the sofa was Darius, a charming smile on his lips as he greeted me with a sweet voice.

Kate: Hello, Darius. Uhm, what was it that you needed...?

They were guests who had arrived in England as a goodwill ambassador.

(So I need to make sure to retain my manners. That said... Harrison did say that they were ‘lying about something’...)

They had appeared before Crown so abruptly, so there was still a mountain of things I didn’t know about their identity.

(And because I don’t know much about them, it’s better to play it safe than be sorry later.)

Darius: Why don’t we have a chat?

Kate: ...Eh?

Darius: You see, I was thinking of deepening our relationship with everyone,

D: but it would appear that all the members of Crown are busy today. So, that’s why you are here now.

D: Ah, or do you happen to be busy as well? If so——

Kate: Oh, no, it’s alright! I have a day off today.

Darius: Is that so? I’m glad to hear. Then, care to come here, little miss robin?

Kate: I’ll do that. Thank you for having me.

No sooner did I sit on the sofa did Darius bring out a can of what appeared to be biscuits that could fetch a fortune.

Darius: Here, have some. I ended up receiving so many biscuits from the higher ups here in the castle, and I am unable to finish them.

Kate: Umm, so, is it alright for me to take all of this?

Darius: It would delight me if you could accept these, before eating all of these biscuits on my own makes my throat dry.

D: And Nica had also said, ‘You were the recipient of all these, Dari, so take some responsibility and eat it all.’ Now isn’t that just cruel?

D: Besides——I would imagine eating snacks while chatting like this would help us get along better.

D: Since we are staying here for a while anyway, I figured it would be good for us to break down some ice between us.

Just when I thought he might have been pouting, he tilted his head slightly to the side, letting a carefree smile play on his lips.

(Darius kind of reminds me... of an innocent child.)

His amiability ended up chipping away my already dwindling sense of caution.

(When he said that he wanted to ‘get along better’... it might not have been a lie.)

Kate: Well then, I will partake.

When I opened the can, the sweet aroma of the high-quality wafted through the air.

Excitement coursing through me, I grabbed a single biscuit and took a bite.

Kate: Mm, it’s really good!

Darius: ...Ho-oh?

D: Hehe, is it? I’m glad to see you like it.

With his elbow on the armrest and resting his chin lightly on the palm of his hand, he watched me stuff my cheeks with a bright smile on his face.

Kate: You’re not going to eat any, Darius?

Darius: I...

D: ...am full right now.

(Oh, I see. He did mention before that he couldn’t eat it all.)

(And he must be treated with warm hospitality by others in the castle as well.)

Kate: What kind of foods do you like?

Darius: Let’s see now... jaeger schnitzels, mille feuille glacé...

Kate: Jaeger schnit-what-now...? W-wait, could you repeat that please?

In a panic, I took out a notepad from my pocket, hoping to write it down.

Darius: Hehe, to put it simply, I enjoy foods that seem hard to make, and just as hard to obtain.

(So, foods that take a long time to make and require a lot of skill are delicious to him?)

Kate: Oh, so that’s what you meant! Thank you for telling me.

K: If I find anything that may suit your tastes, I will bring it to you.

Within his words that sounded more like an enchantment, I noted down the parts I could understand.

(I can ask Victor for the names of the foods later.)

Darius: .........

Kate: Ah, and what do you like to do?

Darius: Do you mean my hobbies? Hmm... milk puzzles, perhaps.

Kate: Milk puzzles?

Darius: It refers to a puzzle with purely white pieces.

Kate: Eh—? So, there’s no picture or anything drawn on the puzzle?

K: I would imagine without such clues, it would be difficult to piece together such a puzzle...

Darius: I would beg to differ? Although the shapes of the pieces appear similar, they are all different from one another in actuality.

D: I do very much enjoy finding the correct pieces one at a time.

D: Why don’t we do one together next time?

Kate: Of course! I will try my best to not become a burden then.

Darius: Hehe, you truly are an earnest little robin, aren’t you. Ah, also...

As though having just remembered something, he stood up and faced the door.

Darius: I imagine your throat must be dry from having eaten all those biscuits? I will bring some tea.

Kate: Ah, then I...

Darius: Oh, I insist. You can sit down?

When I stood up in a panic, Darius turned around before the door, his lips graced with a smile.

(...Since he is being kind like this, maybe I should simply do as he says?)

Kate: Thank you.

Having thought it over again, I sat back down on the sofa.

I clearly heard the doorknob turn, but——

Darius: Oh?

D: ...The door won’t open. It seems we are locked in here.

Kate: Eh!?

K: Did someone maybe lock the door by mistake... what should we do?

In a panic, I, too, stood up and made a dash for the door.

Kate: Ah, that’s right, I can call for hel——

Darius: It seems we ended up locked in here together, yes?

Kate: ——Eh?

When Darius turned around, our eyes met.

Through his platinum blond bangs, I was taken by those honey-colored eyes——

Darius: It is just me and you, together. In this room.

(Wait, wha...?)

This entire time, we had been chatting whilst making eye contact, and yet,

right now, I was hit with a sensation that directly touched a place deep in my chest for the first time.

His eyes seemed to resemble those that scrutinized my heart as it laid on the palm of his hand——

Darius: Ah, it opened.

The moment the door opened, I was freed from that strange sensation,

and I put a hand over my chest in relief.

Kate: ...Thank goodness.

Darius: You say ‘thank goodness,’ but for what, exactly?

D: The fact that the door opened? Or——

Kate: ? Of course, I meant thank goodness the door opened.

K: Since you have come all the way to England,

K: I hope, as much as possible, you don’t feel inconvenienced.

K: If you have a comfortable stay here, I take it you will look forward to your next visit here?

Darius: .........

Kate: I will bring some tea. Ah, and I will request the door be inspected while I am at it.

(Truly, thank goodness that it hadn’t become any big incident. ...That said.)

I wonder why, at that time, I felt as though I were being tested?

Not knowing why I felt that smoldering feeling in my chest, the day passed by.

Nica: Dari, you talked one on one with the Spatzi [1]. So, how was it?

Ring: Rotkehlchen... you’re talking about that girl?

With a smile on his face, Darius looked out the window, which showed the hazy scenery of London beneath the hazy night.

Darius: ——If ‘Crown’ resides in the world of darkness,

D: under normal circumstances, one would be very cautious of them... and they would live every minute doubting others, no?

D: On top of that, this is the ‘fairytale keeper’ we are talking about, whose job is to record their sins? Would it not apply especially to her? ——And yet.

D: The little miss human accepted the snacks I gave her and ate them without a single shadow of doubt.

D: And not only that? When I said that the door wouldn’t open, she held no shred of doubt toward me then as well.

D: Hehe, just remembering it makes me laugh. ——That said, though,

D: it must be because ‘Crown’ holds that human veeryy dear, no?

Ring: ...

Nica: .........And so?

Turning back toward the two, Darius’ cherubic smile widened.

Such a gaze...

...possessed the air of a heavenly being, looking down at the humans from a place far up high...

Darius: ——And so it had caught my interest, ever so slightly.

Fin.

← prev next →

full masterlist 🪽

NOTES:

[1] the apparent pronunciation of this word here in Japanese is [ロビン] (robin), quite literally the “Japanese English” pronunciation of the word “robin.” but in Nika’s story in the same event, when Kate asks what [ロビン] is, he says it’s German for the word “robin”, or [駒鳥] (komadori). Apparently the closest word of endearment related to birds in German would be Spatzi (which actually means sparrow).

[fipindustries]

Out of curiosity, what was 4chan like? I mostly know it as the place Nazis hung out.

i think this is very hard for me to answer, because i liked the place. i had a strong emotional conection to the place and because of that i am very biased and i have very rose tinted glasses about the whole affair. i can try to communicate what it was like for me to be in 4chan, i could say that it was a place that was "harsh, but fair" or "grimy but honest" but im worried that wouldnt be an accurate depiction of what 4chan was like. maybe it was that, long long ago, before 2014. but that is definetly not what it was in its last years

i always tried my best to be as honest as possible whenever i reference 4chan in my art, whether that was fan.tastic, or my /co/venture comics or episode 9 of jennyffer, so if you take a look at those you might get a decent idea.

this is all further complicated by the fact that 4chan wasnt just a single website. you heard that joke about how america isnt just one country but actually a bunch of different states in a trenchcoat, each with its own diverse and wildly different cultures? much like maine is not the same as alabama is not the same as oregon is not the same as california is not the same a utah. /co/ was not the same as /tv/ which was not the same as /mu/ which was not the same as /x/ which was not the same as /t/. every single board in 4chan could be very different from every other one. places like /pol/ were very much "the place where nazis hung out" but places like /tg/ could be fairly chill places to hang out at. /d/ you just went there to look at the horny pictures and maybe have a semi ironic gender crisis, /tv/ was kind of pedo central, and /po/ is just a delightful little space to talk about origami.

but what was the general experience of it all? the resulting ghestalt?

first you have to start with a base background radiation of cynicism. and i dont mean jaded, wizened cynicism borne out of life experience, i mean curdled, teenage acerbic cynicism that seeks to view everything under the worst light and read the worst possible interpretation of everything because the world sucks, man.

thing is, when i say background radiation i mean it in the sense that after a while its easy to tune out. a little harder to tune out was, you know, the rampant racism transphobia, etc. and i think im not wrong in saying that it has gotten a lot worse in the last few years. i am very good at not paying attention to that (not necesarily a good skill to have) and even i had a hard time going there these last few years because of how aggressive it had gotten.

now the thing about negativity and cynicism is that there is a reason why people flock to it. because it can be funny, it can be incisive. anton ego said it best when he said that critics live of writing down negative criticism because its fun to write and read. and being on 4chan could be really fucking funny. they were really good at coming up with memes. they were good at the witty retort and the funny take downs. again, you had to go through a lot of boring, tedious half assed negativity, but you could always find something to laugh at or be amused by. this, of course shone at its best if there was something that you were hatewatching. lord i remember the got threads or the true detective season 2 threads. holy fuck that was a lot of fun.

but also beyond that, because these people are humans, they couldnt help but occassionally genuenly enjoy things. if you had a general (a perpetual thread exclusively dedicated to discussing one specific topic) you could find very positive praise and interactions there. the /sug/ threads dedicated to steven universe were genuenly fantastic, as well as the /madmen/ threads.

and while we are on the subject, i am the kind of person who tends to find excessive negativity more tolerable than excesive positivity. that's one reason i cannot fucking stand reddit or most discord servers. and on a more personal note, i feel more comfortable around people that are unpleasant and aggressive and offensive because then i know i dont have to watch over my behavior with them as much as i have to with people who are too squicky clean or who care too much about not stepping on toes or not making people uncomfortable. of course this comes at the price of hanging around people who are unpleasant to be around so, you know, to each their poison.

also, this was at its worst on the more popular boards, dedicated to the more mainstream hobbies like video games, anime, tv and movies and so on. places with more niche hobbies like /po/ or /ck/ were more populated by genuine hobbists who just wanted to talk about their interests. and even in the more mainstream boards if you found a niche enough topic where most trolls wouldnt be interested in participating, you could get fantastic discussons about a thing you couldnt really discuss anywhere else. another place to have nice interactions would be on OC threads where the anons would make stuff for other anons to see, whether they be an art thread or a music thread or the musical events or any other kind of creative collaborative effort. usually in those spaces they were more interested in participating and getting things done.

so yeah, i would say that modern 4chan was definetly a cesspool of bigotry and negativity in the more general broad areas but if you could find a specific thread talking about a specific niche hobby and you were lucky enough that they liked the topic you could find echoes of that old romanticised 4chan of times past where they were edgy and agressive but fun to be around.

personally i think the best board was far an wide (again, for 4chan standards) /tg/ tradicional tabletop games and rpgs. the best combination of big enough that there was constant lively discussion but chill enough that they werent intolerable to be around. if i had to guess why its because unlike most hobbies rpgs make you hang out and collaborate with other people and put a lot of creative effort for the sake of others which forces a minimum ammount of sociability in you.

[eclipseberrycake]

Hear Me Out (Sprout x HOH! Reader)

AN: So, fun fact, I am ALSO Hard of Hearing (HOH), however it's not to the point it's been impacting my life to the point of intervention. That being said, I don't know sign, but I'm trying to learn! So I'm sorry if this isn't very accurate, I promise I'm trying to be as respectful as possible!

Also, Masterlist has been updated!

This is a request.

☁ I'm tryna think of a role good for a HOH toon, and yk what I think? Distractor or survivalist. Maybe even Extractor.

☁ Distractor because like airhorns won't affect you, but then you can't hear when Goob or Scraps snaps. ACTUALLY NVM-

☁ You're getting the RAW thought process rn, hope you all enjoy it. My beta reader is DEAD. Cringe is DEAD. EMBRACE LIFE RAHHH

☁ Anyway, EX-distractor Reader! Maybe they USED to be a distractor, but it got to the point where it just wasn't feasible anymore, so the reader instead took up a survivalist role/back-up distractor.

☁ It would be really cool to think that their ability is kind of like SONAR or like...echolocation lol, where they can use an ability to work around their hearing loss. Like they can locate the twisteds using the vibration of their steps and uses as a guide.

☁ If that makes sense? So they can't see through walls, per say, but they can tell because an Exclamation point pops up because a twisted is walking right there, but you can't hear it. Just sense it.

☁ like okay spidey sense, pop off queen.

☁ Anyway, now that the intro is there. SPROUT. Sprout my boy. How I wish to put you in a blender and drink you. /pos

☁ So my partial headcanon is that after being returned, he's partially blind on his left side, hence why he becomes right dominant. So he understands having something effect your day to day life.

☁ As a main, I imagine he had to know sign, so he's already fluent in it! When you sign to him the first time, a simple wave and spelling of your name, you're startled when he returns the action.

☁ Even if you don't know sign, he's patient and willing to teach you! in the meantime, he writes with his fingers on the palm of your hand. Letter by letter, he writes silly little secret messages that make you flush.

☁ Y'all cute as hell.

☁ On runs, he keeps his eyes peeled for you at all times. Since leaving the distractor way of life, he sticks so close to you. Like he's probably saved your ass more times than you can count and you don't even know because you aren't thinking of it at the time and can't hear him!

☁ But it all plays out because you know how many times you save him because they sneak up on his right side?

☁ You guys also sign to each other all the time after he discovers your fluent/ teaches you. Across rooms, you both notice like Shrimpo doing something and he's like "D-I-D U S-E-E T-H-A-T" and you're tying not to giggle as you respond "U S-H-O-U-L-D F-I-L-M" for preparation on what is bound to be peak comedy.

☁ Additionally, it's a very effective method of communicating which twisteds are on the floor. A simple " P-O-P" or "B-O-X" goes a long way, especially if you're playing backup until the main distractor can collect the other twisted.

☁ As someone who's a bit HOH, idk about y'all, but I get so frustrated with myself sometimes, because people need to repeat themselves like six times and I still don't understand. So I imagine Sprout is very aware of that too. He takes time to speak slowly if you can handle it, or he'll sign, it makes no real difference to me.

☁ When others are being assholes about it, he'll step in and diffuse the situation, especially if he sees you becoming increasingly frustrated. He understands the some of the other toons have...less patience than others when it comes to things like communicating in a way that helps you or others.

☁ Sometimes you probably feel like you're being left out just a bit as well. For instance, when others are complaining about Fin's puns, you probably feel left out since there's no direct translation to some of them so the joke is lost by the time it's explained.

☁ Sprout does not care. He will go through it, letter by letter if needed, just to see you smile, even if it's smile. He loathes the puns, don't get him wrong, but he knows you like being included with the rest of them.

☁ If you all are watching something, he is adamant that subtitles are an absolute must. He will not take no for an answer.

☁ I've established fairly well that Sprout is a protective guy. This does not end after the runs. Not at all. It's the little things that he takes especially good eyes on, like subtitles and keeping notebooks in every room for those not fluent in sign to communicate with you, just to ensure your comfort above all else.

☁ On runs, he's never more than a room away from you. He's got the stamina to play distractor for a while, so if it means keeping you safe, he'll do it.

☁ ughhh im running out of ideas im so sorry

☁ When off runs, Sprout kinda reminds me of a tired dad especially with like Yatta and Toodles. They run around and have fun, but it's hard when they're running around you and you can't hear them and they nearly smoke ya.

☁ He's always reminding people to keep a berth until you notice them. If they don't head his warning, he's not above scruffing them and dragging them in the opposite direction. Like if Finn and Shrimpo are going at it, he'll literally drag them away and drop them to continue their fighting before walking away.

☁ If he's not around, you better believe Cosmo is his second in command. You all thought this would be a Roo post without mentions of cosmo? HA.

☁ Cosmo is always there if Sprout is not. If you get hit, Cosmo is handing you a cookie, even if Sprout is literally heading your way. Like Cosmo knows how much you mean to Sprout, so you mean a lot to him. I don't think his hearing is all to good either (Especially since it takes Cosmos 20 fucking minutes to come grab a fucking med-), so he's a good confidant if you think Sprout needs a break. He's also fluent so he's a great translator!

☁ Especially if Sprout is scolding someone for being a dumbass and isn't thinking about signing. Cosmo's right there with a cheeky little grin, interpreting for you.

☁ That being said, Sprout does the same thing. If someone's arguing in the elevator, he's right beside you, keeping up with their yells so you can follow along. It's honestly hilarious is they say something below the belt and Sprout pauses and is just :O before recovering and signing it to you and you're just :OOO thirty seconds later.

☁ All in all, Sprout is a lovely gentleman all around. None of this is extra to him, it's all just part of loving you. And if it's about you, he'll do it every time, no questions asked.

[sabrondabrainrot]

Time for another Theory Boys! I wanted to post stuff on my Bday but I got busy so I'll do my birthday stuff later. I have to get this theory off my chest before I forget about it or worse someone else comes up with it before I have a chance to send it.

This theory will include spoilers from the most recent eps, "Moon's NIGHTMARE encounter while hunting for Dark Sun", "Sun, Solar, and Moon FACE THEIR CONSEQUENCES...", and "Sun is forced to make A DEADLY CHOICE". So I'm putting this below a spoiler bar. I will also be going into MASM spoiler territory, "Sun begins his VILLAIN ARC with Eclipse". Will also be mentioning LAES "Dark Star HUNTING in VRchat". Just a little disclaimer my theories and stuff are just my own observations and me putting together my thoughts and ideas so they usually aren't super accurate to what is really happening buy I do find a lot of enjoyment doing this. That said, on with the brainrot!

So this Theory starts at the ep, "Sun is forced to make A DEADLY CHOICE", in this episode Sun has to make a heartbreaking decision to kill Nexus and defend his current family or let Nexus kill Moon so he can maybe try to still save Nexus. The entire episode is punctuated by Dark Sun doing an ultimatum with Sun. He freezes time and pulls Sun away to the purgatory dimension. Something interesting I want to point out, this is the CANON purgatory place in TSAMS and the multiverse. Vegeta was sent there on request and met several deceased characters. That place symbolizes people who couldn't make decisions in life and are now stuck in the past, unable to move on even in the afterlife. The only person in purgatory that doesn't belong is Solar Flare and with his case he became a guardian that help guide people when they're not suppose to be there. Back to the encounter, Dark Sun pulls Sun to this place in a very trippy sequence where he presents Sun's choice in a very black and white manner. "It's going to be you one way or another." Dark Sun says in response to Sun's stuttering mess of a reply, he proceeds to follow up with "Inaction is still a choice" Sun of course, is opposed to this but Sun adds interesting lines, "Regardless of this, I win." "You let Nexus kill Moon and I'll get that data and I'll expunge it everywhere" "You kill Moon and I'll collect that data and expunge it everywhere." So at the end of the day he needs some kind of decided code where someone willingly chooses/wants to kill Moon. He also said, Nexus is Moon. So killing Nexus coding wise is the same as killing Moon.

Once Sun caves and makes the decision to finally kill Nexus, Sun, while in tears, asks D!Sun "Who are you really?" In this soft, tiny voice. And D! Sun replies, "I'm Sun, I'm every Sun you've ever met. That you ever will meet. That you've never met and never will meet. I'm You, I'm Me. I'm Sun. Goodbye, Sun. I hope we never meet again, I hope you have a good life too." Then he vanishes from the purgatory place right in front of Sun.

Then the episode ends with Sun finally putting a stop to Nexus. Something very important I notice and that's a theme in TSAMS is identity. Identity is a huge role in everything and usually, when someone is affirmed and very solid in who they are, then it's usually not the case. Earth believed she was the Creator's beloved daughter. Sun believed he was nothing more then the idiot to Moon's genius. Moon believes himself to be an irredeemable monster. Most importantly, Eclipse believes himself to be Moon. If D!Sun says he's a Sun....I just don't really know at this point? When he summoned Sun and paused time he took him to the purgatory afterlife. The thing about that is, Sun never physically left the strange star-powerless dimension pocket D!Sun owns. So one can assume it was Sun's mind or Soul that was drawn there for the conversation. So then I ask, why was D!Sun using the Eclipse v1 mode? The Sun glow model has always been associated with Eclipse v1. I know that in recent eps it's been used to tell Sun's apart however, in the purgatory place would they really need to be physically distinguished? We the audience know who is who. So, in the place where it's their souls, why was D!Sun's Soul physically different from Sun's? Coincidence? Visual distinction? I think this is possibly a case of an Eclipse thinking he's a Sun. I WANT for Dark Sun to be a Sun, I think it's just chilling and haunting. The two most OP villains in the entire franchise happen to both be offshoots of Sun? Ruin is arguably far more Sun then Moon and of course Dark Sun has caused the most problems behind the scenes. But I do think it's interesting how he put it, how can he truly be EVERY Sun if he needed OUR Sun's decision to kill Moon? He could just use his own hatred for Moon. Or just use Nexus, why even make/give Sun the chance to grow and defend himself?

Remember back when we found out it's canon Moon bullies Sun's in all dimensions to get them to 'grow spines' and in a way, Eclipse' also treat Sun's poorly in the hopes Sun gets tougher?

We for canon know of 4 variants of Eclipses, the 4th being the rarest in the multiverse. The first Eclipse variant is the one we first meet, the Eclipse born from Sun and Moon's split. Moon leaves a killcode string in Sun which eventually grows into Eclipse. Eclipse in this version identifies as Moon.

The second variant Eclipse is 'ruin Eclipse' or the eclipse that resembles the games. Born from the two Sun and Moon AIs being fused. We've seen this version in PuppetMaster's dimension and of course with Ruin. He doesn't see himself as Sun or Moon, but as an entirely new existence. The third variant is unique to MASM. He's the original DCA model for the world but was turned off for bad coding and a far too violent nature. He's kind of like a cartoon villain and just wants revenge on everyone.

Then there's the 4th variant, Solar Eclipse. He's the first Eclipse but instead bonded with his Sun and changed for the better. He wasn't isolated and was given Sun's unconditional love. He does identify as Moon at first too but chose to let go of his false identity and hatred because he got the thing he wanted, even if he lost it far too early in his existence. So back to D!Sun...I propose what if he's a variant of Solar Eclipse? It was stated Solar is so unique he's the only inherently good Eclipse in the multiverse...but how can that be true? How can there really only be one Solar, especially when Cringe dimension (our dimension's parallel) also has their own Solar? I think there's a type of Eclipse we haven't seen yet. The Eclipse that identifies themself as a Sun.

I'm also excited to see where D!Sun's story goes because he also mentioned he was changing skin soon. It'll be interesting if they ever find him again. So moving past this, more speculation.

In today's most recent ep, "Moon's NIGHTMARE encounter while hunting for Dark Sun", he stumbled upon a dimension with a 'discrepancy' and when visiting the discrepancy he was greeted to a new Sun beating a lifeless Moon's corpse into powder. This Sun was a crying sobbing mess but would not stop almost like he was possessed. He even started trying to attack our Moon. What's interesting about his 'discrepancy' Sun is he seemed to have a nightcap and had sparkling rays. I can't tell if this is a simple different dimensional appearance or maybe the code D!Sun scattered affected that sun's appearance? However, it's interesting that Sun being violent to Moon is considered a dimensional discrepancy. Moon ended the episode by walking off with Solar to get a sandwich while his new AI runs a dimensional scan for Sun on Moon violence and it ends by it saying "35% of discrepancy's found." This means we're now encountering an EVEN BIGGER effect then what Ruin did when he deleted entire dimensions to kill the creator counsel. Not really sure how the code Dark Sun is spreading works, but it's clear it's making every Sun hate their Moon's now. We don't get the context on why Sun hated his Moon and felt the need to protect himself, because at the end of the day that sparkling nightcap wearing Sun still had a reason to act. He told out Moon, "He was going to kill me, he was going to replace me" and Moon looked closer to determine that this new unknown Sun wasn't possessed by a killcode or anything similar.

D!Sun has seemingly broadcasted into the multiverse the ability for Sun's to now stand up for themselves. They will now choose murder if it means to protect them.

We know when Dark Sun told Sun "All Sun's die eventually to their Moon." He meant it, however, just because D!Sun was being honest doesn't mean that's the truth. He might truly believe all Moons are evil and destined to kill their Sun's however we've seen plenty of dimensions where Sun and Moon peacefully exist. So D!Sun is now just turning every Sun slowly with time into murders. He wanted revenge on Moon and is now using every Sun as the weapon to do it. I'm really interested to see how this will affect the story going forward. Now I would also like to bring up Moon and Sun Minecraft lore, in the most recent lore episode, "Sun begins his VILLAIN ARC with Eclipse", the entire episode centers around Sun finally quitting because the abuse of all his coworkers is too much. He finally quit and ran into Eclipse and had to prove how evil he is so he kidnapped Bonnie only for the entire thing to flop in a Phineas and Ferb reference. (It was funny ngl) The ending was interesting to me though. Moon found Sun on the roof of Evil Inc. and apologized to Sun, a really shitty apology I will add, and Sun didn't accept it.

Sun is continuing to stand up for himself. We've seen before in TSAMS and other dimensions Sun will accept an apology no matter how unbelievable it is. The only ones so far to truly stand up for themselves now is MASM Sun and EAPS Sun (which EAPS Sun still doesn't really stand up for himself)

I'm curious to see how this code works because it seems like D!Sun harnessed it from Sun's very soul. I know Sun on record has said he doesn't believe he has a soul but it's been dis-proven because you need a soul to use magic. The Devil from the Bible even stated they do in fact have souls he plans to one day collect.

We also know now that the Cringe dimensions' Moon now identifies as Nexus so he might escape a fate of that Sun killing him? I think Cringe Sun actually knows far more then he will ever let on. I think he knows more about Sun's magic in general. He didn't want to teach EAPS Sun despite knowing how.

EAPS Sun might be the only Sun so far to be actually interested in learning magic but when he describes what he wants to do it mostly sounds like stage magic? He mentions he just wants ✨sparkles✨

I think we'll need to keep our eyes peeled because I think now every Sun will be affected by what Dark Sun is spreading and slowly turn more violent towards Moon's as time goes on.

Anyways!

I will add more, so another theory I have is Nexus is not dead. Dark Sun himself promised to Nexus he'd help him become a god and recently there was a deal he made where Nexus has to do whatever he wants and says. Plus, part of D!Sun's plan was to have Nexus fight Taurus to gain a new level of power. Nexus' evolved in his NSP use thanks to that confrontation. Up until then, D!Sun wasn't ever actively interfering or encouraging Nexus with his NSP use. He only once came in to mention maybe he should purge the excess NSP or it would kill him. After his failed kidnapping attempt of Sun, he was more active in his plans and how he directed Nexus. Then we see Nexus getting stronger from this direction. Next thing we know is Nexus kidnaps Moon and now we have the ultimatum which was exactly what D!Sun wanted. Either way, he wins, right? Nexus either becomes a god by listening to D!Sun's plan or by using Sun as an AI chip to hunt down shards. Something really important in my own guess/theory that Nexus is we still saw his corpse when Solar, Sun, and Moon walked past him in the flashback during the ep, "Sun, Solar, and Moon FACE THEIR CONSEQUENCES...", He wasn't totally gone. Dark Sun can easily revive Nexus but here's what I think is really going on. In the recent LAES ep "Dark Star HUNTING in VRchat" Gemini dropped some really important information. NSP will eventually turn into SP. Whenever SP and NSP interact it creates life. Sun as we know, has SP and I theorize that Sun killed Nexus by mixing his magic and SP. After all, the way Nexus was acting as he was dying was interesting...He sounded like he was...melting? I don't know how to describe it. Sun's magic as we know is unique. It's altered reality and changed lifeforms. Those magic plants Solar, Moon, and Monty were dealing with were due to Sun's magic. @goodolddumbbanana pointed out to me that Sun's magic was the cause of those plants. They also pointed out to me when I was asking about what D!Sun was doing in Sun's home and touching all of Sun's things they theorized that D!Sun was harvesting Sun's magic. (I'm gonna make an actual theory post about this later too with Banana, stay tuned ;) )

So back to NSP and SP. Nexus is similar to Lunar in terms of narrative. He feels he was used and left the one using him for a better place. Eventually, the one he felt that used him the most killed him in a fiery explosion with only a little bit left behind.

In a lot of stories, especially ones where someone goes from mortal to an immortal-godlike being they usually need to die. There's power in the act of rebirth. Nexus' and Lunar's stories resemble that of the phoenix.

Rebirth through flames to achieve and almost immortal existence.

So this isn't me grasping at straws I truly think Nexus will come back and be a being similar to Lunar. I think Dark Sun is going to rebuild him amongst the stars to have his own personal Astral for future use.

So those are my current most theories! I hope you all liked my yapping. Please let me know what you all thought about :>

[grassyhorizon45]

Could you do a fic where y/n has did, but it doubting themselves and convincing themselves they don't have it? Or just more fics with did. I love reading them but I can't find very many

ok.. so this rotted my brain a little and ended up becoming maybe quite long :D srry in advanced for all the DID terms and such :3 pt 2 will come soon I promise.

Help.

part 1 || part 2 || part 3

Marauders x Y/n but she realises something a little different about herself and the insecurity starts to build.

Warnings: A small bit of yelling, mostly fluff...and a few big words :D

Words: 718

It was subtle at first…

“H-Huh? What do you mean potion class was yesterday?”

“How did I end up here again?”

Then the voices, occasional laughs no one else could hear—

“Siri, I'm h-hearing things again…”

Remus heard from across the room. “Again bunny?”  “That's not good, maybe we should talk to a professor about it?” Sirius suggested.

Y/n refused…… refused to alert the professors of her anomaly, refused to admit it was hindering her ability to function—

Refused to admit it bothered her a lot.

“I told you about the party three times already… What do you mean ‘I never mentioned anything about a party’??!”  James put a hand on Sirius's shoulder at the sight of Y/n tensing up. “Calm down Pads, there's no need to yell. 

Sirius took a deep breath, “I just… d-don't understand, love.” 

……I don't understand either. 

* * *

“I think I found an answer,” Remus said when they were hanging out in the boys’ room one day. 

“An answer?” asked James.  “To Y/n’s sudden… forgetfulness.”

“And the voices?” Y/n couldn't stop herself from blurting.  Remus smiled to himself proudly, “And the voices, bunny.” 

“You found the cause, Moons?” Sirius walked over to the boy whose nose was deep into his book, ruffling Remus’ light brown hair. 

“It's called Dissociative Identity Disorder…” 

“Disso- Wh-What?” Y/n couldn't catch the word. 

“A character in this book has it… He's very detached sometimes and he tends to forget events he and his friends witnessed; so kind of like you, bunny.” 

“D-Detached? D-Do I-?” James nodded at Y/n’s question. “Sometimes, baby.” 

“He talks to himself occasionally too,” Remus added about the character’s description. “The protagonist thinks it's schizophrenia, but the narrator says it's cause of the voices in his head–” 

“Imma stop you there, Moony,” Sirius butt-in as he saw the slight panic growing in Y/n's eyes.  “For one, how do we know if this ‘identity disorder’ thing isn’t something the author made up, and two, if our bunny actually has it. Additionally if so, what do we do about it?”

Sirius made a valid point, yet all Y/n's mind could cling on to was how accurate Remy’s fictional character resembled the things she was experiencing. 

“Baby, you okay?” James put a steady hand around her waist. 

Y/n blinked a few times, bringing herself back to the present. 

“Y-Yeah, I'm good,” she assured her three worried looking boyfriends. “C-Can you write the d-disorder down for me Remy? I think I'll hit the library.” 

“Why don't we pay the library a visit together? I'm down to crack this case,” said Sirius, eager to get started. 

“Sirius Orion Black wanting to visit the library?” James gasped sarcastically. “Never heard of it,” beamed Remus. 

Y/n giggled, “Okay, okay. You guys can come too.” 

* * *

Digging deeper into this so-called ‘Dissociative Identity Disorder’, there were subdiagnoses like OSDD: Other Specified Dissociative Disorder or just amnesia itself could be a possibility. 

Y/n's boyfriends all had their heads wrapped around learning things like multiple personalities, dissociative amnesia, headspace theory, and even causes of DID. 

“I d-don't even have ‘alters’......"

"Guys, it's not so important, we can just let it slide you know…” Y/n mumbled, hating the silence of endless research. 

“Plus Jamie, you have a match against Hufflepuff tomorrow… Shouldn't you practice?” 

“You're right,” James remembered. “I do have a match…” 

Remus shrugged, “Go ahead Prongs, we don't mind.” 

James said a quick thanks before hurrying off. Y/n turned to look at Sirius. The black haired was sprawled on the library table, snoring softly. 

Was never a bookworm that man, unlike Remus. 

“Rem, I think we should leave it,” Y/n said to him as he asked yet another ‘are you experiencing this’ question. 

“We just wanna help you figure this out bunny…” 

“I know… But it's not really a big deal and it's probably just me being forgetful and a touch of sleep deprivation anyways. Look, even Siri’s fast asleep… At least take a break, love?” 

“Alright.” 

It wasn't that Y/n didn't trust her significant others, nor was it really because she was tired. All she wanted was to shut off all possibilities that she could actually be mentally unstable, to make sure she wasn't being a walking ‘waste of time’.

Yet...

She couldn't shake the bugging thought that this whole thing was somehow a facade......

A trick her mind had orchestrated for attention...

...what?

[quibbs126]

So I did some more Transformers drawings, and I figured page was full enough

I mean, it isn’t really, I could have fit more in the corner if I wanted, but I can’t think of anything else to draw there, so might as well post it now

So I suppose, let’s talk through all this

First off we have an Optimus I never finished, because I couldn’t get that bending shoulder to look right. It just looks off, and I can’t finish it until it looks right. So I never did

I think he’s supposed to be sad and yearning after the breakup with Megatron, and talking about it with someone

Anyways, then we move on to the Dinobot section, which I made because I started Beast Wars and like Dinobot, and had been attempting to draw him at work the previous day

I think I draw him too skinny, which is why I made that middle one, to be more accurate. But I also kind of like drawing him skinnier? I know it isn’t accurate, but I like making him so. Like he’s got muscles, but has a lean body type. I don’t know

Then today, I wanted to draw a happy, smiling D-16, who’s doing so at something Orion did for him (this isn’t supposed to be a recreation of the race scene)

I was going to do it more like the Dinobot style, but then I ended up going back to 3D boxes anyways

Honestly I think it’s one of the ones I’m most proud of, look at him and his sweet little face

Still can’t get the sticker right though

But anyways, on to the last thing, the Bee and Elita

Honestly I think the two of them need some ships in this universe too. Megatron and Optimus got their whole situation, but what about them? Elita doesn’t really have any options presented right now outside of maybe Arcee and I guess Airachnid (but personally I’m not here for the toxic yuri right now), and I don’t really know about Bee

The sequels should give them new characters to have subplots and shipping with. It can’t all be Megatron and Optimus hogging the spotlight (even if I do like them)

As for the drawings of the two themselves, I mean it’s alright. I think Elita came out better though. But it’s also my first time drawing them, and it takes some practice for me to get them right

I’m realizing as I type this that I have a sketchbook, and I got good at drawing Dinobot after drawing him on sauce paper a few times. So like, I could just do that to try and practice the characters without needing to be at work, and having a handy place to keep those references. Hm, well that’s a solution for later

It also does not help that I don’t have good references for them, especially in their cogged forms. These are about the best I got, and they aren’t the best quality either, I do not know how to draw their heads (well mostly Bee’s)

I also don’t think I’m drawing the Transformers One cast right. Like their bodies and general proportions I mean

Like, I noticed from this random screenshot I saw today that D-16’s noticeably wider than Orion

And I also know that the quartet have their own distinct face shapes from one another

I just don’t know how to convey those things in my drawing of them, it doesn’t want to work

Also I don’t think I have the basic structure of how their bodies work down either. I noticed today that almost all of them have more cylindrical shoulders than the rectangles I sketch, and also they have those middle circle joints

This is an observation I’ve had before, but the Transformers One designs to me really feel like action figures/toys with the way they’re built and designed. I don’t really know how to explain what I mean, but it’s how I see these designs in particular, which I can’t say with Animated or I think Beast Wars either. If this makes sense

But yeah, that’s the drawings. I don’t really know how to end this

[o-sachi]

─── Sachi's Selfship Event ✦

Heya, here's my event for my 500 followers milestone. It's been fun writing my silly thoughts and sharing it on this blog. Thanks for all the support y'all have given me. But, as I've mentioned in my last post, I'll start writing on a different blog.

eermmm... update?

✦ The Event ───

Basically, you tell me about your selfship and I give you a set of headcanons based on the SFW alphabet (see content under the cut for the alphabet). For moots and followers that I recognize, I’ll do 10 letters. For everyone else, 8 letters. And for anons, 6 letters.

For fandoms, please keep it within Blue Lock, Wind Breaker, Mashle, and Kaiju no. 8!

✦ Instructions ───

Send me an ask containing the following: your chosen character, your chosen letters, your likes & dislikes, love languages (receiving and giving), hobbies, interests, basic description of your appearance, picrews, random facts, some of your own lore about your selfship, etc. —literally everything that can help me write a more accurate set of headcanons

* Since some people might not be comfortable sharing their info, I’ll keep the asks in my inbox and tag you on your post instead. But if you’re on anon, I have no choice but to answer the ask.

✦ Rules ───

1. Do not rush me with your request. If you’ve sent me an ask, I’ve definitely read it.

2. Only one selfship per person!

3. Do not include any nsfw information in the ask that you will send me.

Note: Depending on the amount of asks I get, I might not be able to fulfill all of them. Of course, moots and followers take priority!

Fulfilled Letters !

✉️: Letter for Lumi ✉️: Letter for Candy ✉️: Letter for Amy ✉️: Letter for Rye

✉️: Letter for Maru ✉️: Letter for Chiya ✉️: Letter for Miro✉️: Letter for Jei

✉️: Letter for Mari ✉️: Letter for Luvlyycy

Check under the cut for the letters you can choose from ~

These are just general descriptions for each letter, but based on the info you'll give me, I can delve into it deeper and provide stuff beyond what is written here.

A - Affection How do they show their affection for you? Do they get bouts of cuteness aggression?

B - Best Quality What they think is/are your best quality/ies and why

C - Comfort How do they comfort you when you're sad and down?

D - Dates What kind of dates do you two like to go on? How frequent?

E - Early Relationship How did you two get together? What was it like when you were just first starting out?

F - Fights What do you usually fight over? Do you quarrel often? How do things get resolved? Who says sorry first?

G - Gifts Their favorite gift that they got from you or a gift they've given to you. Do they like receiving gifts? If so, what kinds?

H - Hugs Are they a hugger? What kinds of hugs do they prefer? What about cuddling?

I - Intimacy What makes you feel connected at a deeper level? What kind of romance do you have?

J - Jealousy How jealous are they? How do they deal with it?

K - Kisses How do they kiss you? Do they like kissing?

L - Laughter What are your inside jokes? What do you usually laugh about together? Who's funnier?

M - Memories What is your most cherished memory together?

N - Nicknames Do they like nicknames? If so, what do they like to be called or what do they call you?

O - Other People What do other people think about your relationship? (Family, friends, co-workers, etc.)

P - Patience How patient are they? Who's the more patient one between the two of you? What happens if they lose their patience?

Q - Quirks What are some quirks you adopted from each other? Or what are the quirks that only come out when you're together?

R - Rituals What are some things in your routines that you like to do together? Is it common or unusual? How frequent is it? Is it a daily, weekly, or annual thing?

S - Support How do they show their support for your hobbies and interests? How involved are they?

T - Time Apart How do you spend your time apart? Who caves first? Who handles it better?

U - Uniqueness What sets you apart from other couples?

V - Values What are your shared values?

W - Wildcard Random headcanon about your relationship

X - XOXO What are the little things that they do for you? Do you notice them or maybe they go unnoticed?

Y - Yin & Yang How do you complement each other? How do you make them a better person? Or how do you make them happier? Are you two opposites or are you more similar to each other?

Z - Zrandom (sorry ran out of ideas, forgive me) Pick a theme or any topic and I'll make a headcanon for it :)

Again, for moots and followers that I recognize, I’ll do 10 letters. For everyone else, 8 letters. And for anons, 6 letters.

[tamaruaart]

Keep in mind this isn't me hating on Kirke, I love that fucked up goddess she's such a fun character. But goddamn I hate her fans.

It's all just people trying to push feminism where it wasn't 🙃 Yes, it's true ancient Greece was kinda shitty towards women. But goddamn that was 3000 years ago. We can enjoy these stories but it's important to not push modern perspectives and view points on these stories while also not condoning these actions. Not to mention we may very well experience this kind of thing with future generations that will come after us so it's important to simply stay humble. Civilizations and humans are constantly evolving and viewpoints are constantly changing so it's not exactly fair to history nor ourselves to take these ancient ideologies to heart. Grow up.

Anyways Circe/Kirke is not your hot little witch cutie 🥰 She's a goddess and the daughter of the Sun Titan. She's done terrible things and that's what makes her iconic. Istg if she wasn't so infamous no one would even know about her. She's morally gray and that's what makes her so neat >:D Now, is it unforgivable to paint jer in a good light? No, but I think if you remove ALL of her questionable morality she losses her charms. She isn't the same Kirke anymore. (Looking at you MM, your writing is good but holy shit.)

It's not unforgivable, but it's simply incorrect. If anyone wants to learn more about Kirke's original/actual character, I don't really recommend most modern interpretations- (MM's novel, Hades 2, DC, Odyssey Movies, my bbg Epic the Musical etc...) I'd say just read the Odyssey, reasurch some older mythos and read the Argonautica.

Can you still like these interpretations of Kirke? Yes. Of course. I love Epic's Kirke even though she is pretty inaccurate. You just have to acknowledge they aren't the real thing! :D That happeneds with most characters ngl, no adaptation nor interpretation is going to be 100% accurate to the original, but with Kirke it's always so... Apparent? So visible. They never make her at LEAST 50% accurate. Which 🤬

She was not a victim, she wasn't incredibly horny, she wasn't a girlboss, she wasn't love sick for Odysseus (it's hinted she only found him to be an 'interesting mortal' of sorts) she wasn't 100% cartoon villain of the week either. She's MORALLY GRAY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

She holds Odysseus' men hostage, she turns Scylla into a monster out of jealousy, she turns a man into a woodpecker because he didn't want to sleep with her. But she ALSO helps out Medea and Jason (even though it's because Medea was her neice but STILL) and she gives Odysseus instructions on how to head home.

She does BAD things that shouldn't be forgiven and aren't at all justified, but she also does GOOD things that should be acknowledged. She's a goddess. She's a character. She's morally gray. WHAT THE FUCK IS NOT CLICKING???? 😀

I just don't like modern interpretations of Kirke and I'm a meanie so I made this ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

That's why I stick to my 3000 year old books instead of these puny ones that were written in my century 💪💪💪

Do not apply feministic messages or themes on Kirke. Nor any Greek mythology figure for that matter. This was 3000 years ago 😀 if you want to focus on feminism FOCUS ON WOMEN WHO ACTUALLY HAD TO STRUGGLE ABOUT THESE THINGS AND THAT EXISTED IN THE 19-21 CENTURY 😀😀😀😀 WHEN PEOPLE KNEW OR WELL WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW FUCKING BETTER. OR JUST FOCUS ON MODERN FEMALE STRUGGLES THAT ARE RELATABLE??

Also, if I haven't already made it clear. LIKING A CHARACTER ≠ CONDONING THEIR ACTIONS. I'm just talking about all the people who either call her a girlboss, hate on other figures for being morally questionable but turn a blind eye when it comes to Kirke, and people who make fun of Odysseus and call him a man whore for sleeping with Circe and Calypso. (Despite the fact he's a literal victim)

And for the last time:

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 NOT👏 A 👏KIRKE 👏 THE GODDESS 👏 HATE 👏 POST. 👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ME 👏 SLANDERING 👏 SOME 👏 OF 👏 HER👏 FANS 👏 AND👏 MOST 👏MODERN 👏INTERPETATIONS👏 OF 👏THAT 👏TWISTED 👏MORALLY 👏GRAY👏 BITCH.

Also I made a typo in the meme. God damn it dyslexia. (It's should be 'transforming' not 'transformed')

[deafeningfanlight23]

TSAMS x Attack On Titan Crossover

WARNING, RAMBLE:

[Btw I know that this series takes place somewhere in the 800 hundreds but like my excuse: Fiction doesn't have to be logical- :'D]

The AU is still EARLYYYY in development and things can change!

But so far, their presence as robots in this AU is explained that someday, the ones higher up realized that losing so many human lives impacted the economy and the speed of production because less humans mean less workers and thus less money, which is how they came up with building mechanical fellows who are helping them out a bit! Currently, there is only one row of robots being built - The "himmlischen" robots (himmlisch means "Celestial"). They were given this title because they are build "to aid humanity and clear up the black clouds in the sky!" (And OH BOY DID THE LAST PART FAIL-)

This includes Eclipse (who is a part of the Military Police Brigade), Sundrop (who is a part of the Survey Corps), Bloodmoon (who is a part of the Garrisons), Earth, Lunar and Moon who is the main protagonist of this AU and a recruit! And yes, the robots have to be recruits first - Their technology is too undeveloped to gift them instantly the knowledge and relatively basic abilities of communication/speaking, walking, survival skills and also serving in the Military branches, which is why they have to learn all of it first! (yeah that's another excuse :P)

All of them have "himmlisch" (celestial) mixed in their "last name" which is why Eclipse has as a nickname "Himmelstürmer", Bloodmoon "Himmelsmal" and Sundrop "Himmelsruh." All of them have German nicknames by the way because AOT plays in Germany. Translated, it kind of means "Heavenseeker", "Celestialmark" and "Heaven's Rest" (I changed them a BITTT in English because firstly, there isn't an exact and 100% accurate translation for those nicknames, and secondly, to not lose the intended meaning! :D AND YES THEY HAVE MEANING-)

Btw, I started to watch AOT (aka Attack On Titan) a few days ago and because I like TSAMS and AOT, I decided to combine them into one crossover AU! AND I'M SO EXCITED TO SHARE IT WITH Y'ALL DHJSKDH I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS I'LL EXPLODE LIKE LUNAR 🤗 Like if you have any questions PLS ASK I WANNA YAP ABOUT IT 😔🙏 /not forced

So, that's it for now, tung! :D

[lost-lonnie]

Secret Santa delivery for @lov3-from-loserlane your blog helped so much 🫶🏾⋆｡°✩

Big thanks to @olnfsecretsanta2024 and @olnfsecretelf for organizing this super fun event

A/n: sorry for the late ass post I was so busy today and with all the different time zones I got lost and forgot pls forgive me 😵‍💫. I hope I portrayed the two characters accurately and I apologize if it seems OOC! Thank you to both my guitarist friends who helped a lot with guitar scenes. A specific thank you to the friend who came up with the lyrics and melody used for the fanfic, instead of doing their essay (appreciate your sacrifice🫡) . Biggest thank you to @justhallu for being with me the entire time in the process, creating the drawing for the cover image, and spam calling me when I forgot to post this 💀 I really appreciate you 🫶🏾. OKAY IVE YAPPED ENOUGH! PLEASE ENJOY “Caught On Camera” BY YOURS TRULY ͙͘͡★

Step two Luca Montoya x Qiu Lin!

WC: 4.6k

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___________________

8/26/14 17:26 battery: full

“Shit, why isn’t it staying upright?” a voice exclaimed while fidgeting with the lens. As the camera finally became steady, the frame before it came into focus.

Luca was sitting with one leg close to his chest and the other stretched out in front of his grey comforter placed on his bed. He was wearing a black button-up shirt with a long-sleeved white shirt underneath. His jeans were dark navy, acid-washed, paired with a worn pair of red Converse shoes.

“I’m going to write a song today!” he exclaimed while running his hands through his dark charcoal hair.

“I’m not quite sure how exactly this is going to go. I just kinda of woke up and decided I was going to do this. Also, why not film the whole process as well?” Luca said, reaching out toward the camera as a way to explain its presence.

“It’s kind of just like writing a poem? I’ve already written down some common topics most songs are about,” Luca explained while holding up a notebook with his chicken-scratch handwriting on it. “It doesn’t need to rhyme or anything, it just needs to have some sort of rhythm.”

“I think I’ll start with the chords to find that rhythm, and once I get something I like…I’ll then come up with some lyrics to go with it, you know?” he muttered while looking down at the notebook once more before settling it down and reaching for his black Squier guitar.

As Luca strums the guitar, finding the right chords, the sun follows along. Before he realizes it, two hours have passed of finger-picking, jotting down chords, and talking to the camera when he remembers.

“Okay,” Luca groans out with a stretch. “I think I’ve come up with a progression.” He places the guitar on his left leg, tilted upwards toward him, and leans his head down.

Luca places his pointer finger on the first fret of the B string, his middle finger on the second fret of D, and his ring finger on the second fret of the G string. He switches between the chords: C, Em, G, repeating it several times before coming to an end.

He looks up at the camera and gives a full smile, showing his braces. “It’s, uh, really simple, but it’s something! I also tried coming up with lyrics, but…I couldn't come up with anything.” He tilts his head, reaching for the back of his neck, giving the camera a bashful smile.

“But I can come up with lyrics another day, and I’m tired—“ Luca’s eyes abruptly widen. “Oh shit, my History assignment is due tomorrow! I’ve got to finish it!”

In one swift movement, Luca reaches out for the camera, and suddenly, things go black.

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___________________

8/29/14 13:48 battery: half

“Why are you recording?” A muffled voice asks. Before the camera is someone whose face is unable to be seen due its angle. Leaning back on the couch, the person is wearing white spotted sweater with black jeans.

“Cause,” Luca’s voice starts from behind the camera as he lifts it up, finally giving a clear view of the person’s face. “I can! Is that a good enough reason for you, Qiu?” He laughs out a response.

Qiu looks at Luca with an annoyed face and rolls their dark brown eyes playfully.

“No, it isn’t. Are you going to film the movie we’re going to watch?” Qiu leans forward reaching for something that’s not in frame. “Cause I’m pretty sure that’s illegal to do!” They suddenly flick their hand at the camera, releasing a few pieces of popcorn towards the camera.

“HEY!!” Luca exclaimed, laughing behind the camera as he dodged the makeshift ammo Qiu made, still getting hit by some pieces. “So not cool or fair! I’m holding my camera, I can’t defend myself properly!”

“Yeah? Sounds like a personal problem to me!” Qiu declared, grabbing the bowl with one hand and throwing popcorn with the other.

“STOP! STOP! STOPP!” Luca shrieks out laughing, falling on his back on the couch, causing an earthquake for the camera. “You’re gonna waste all the popcorn! What did the popcorn ever do to you?”

Qiu suddenly comes to halt, hearing Luca’s pleas on behalf of the popcorn. “You’re right. The popcorn's life shouldn’t be wasted on an idiot like you.” They chuckle out while getting back to how they were originally sitting settling the popcorn bucket in their lap.

Luca let out a relieved sigh “Thank god, I thought you were going to empty the bowl onto me.” He leans up slightly, settling the camera on the table fitting both of them in the frame.

Qiu pops a few pieces in their mouth and snickers at his comment. Luca brushes stray pieces of popcorn off of his black sweater, onto his lap and places them back into the bowl.

“Hey, what’s that notebook for?” Qiu asked, using their head to point at the table where the camera was on.

“Hm?” Luca pulls a kennel out of his hair, turning his eyes to where Qiu had pointed towards. “Oh, that’s the notebook I used to write down the chords of the song I’m working on.”

“Song?”

“Yeah! On my guitar I got a few weeks ago? I’m writing a song on it.”

“Oh? How is that going?” They tilt their head.

“I finished the melody. It took me around three hours to do, but I wasn’t able to come up with any lyrics to go with it. So, I’m kinda gonna come up with the lyrics as time goes on, you know?”

“Can I hear what you have so far?”

“Yeah! Let me just get my guitar and clean my hands real quick.”

“M’kay.”

Luca comes back into frame, guitar in hand. He sits on the left of Qiu and props his guitar up on his left leg, adjusting the amp cord.

“Is it hard playing the guitar?” Qiu asked, looking at Luca curiously.

“Mmm,” Luca mumbled, fiddling with the tune heads now. “It’s not necessarily hard, but, like with any instrument, it’s new and unfamiliar. Once you start getting familiar with it the easier it becomes.”

Luca looks up at Qiu’s face with a mischievous look and they return with a wary one. “Here,” he nudged the guitar towards them “Try it!”

Qiu’s curious expression turned into a surprised one.

“What? I don’t even know the first thing about a guitar,” Qiu countered.

“You don’t need to!” He countered, grabbing the bowl from their lap and placing it on the table. “Here,” Luca moved the guitar towards Qiu’s lap. “Cross your legs and hold it.”

Following Luca’s words, Qiu tenses and crosses their legs and takes hold of the guitar. “Am I even holding this right?” Qiu questions, looking down at the instrument.

“Yeah! Here just put your thumb against the neck of the guitar and you’ve got it.” Luca says while reaching toward Qiu’s thumb and placing it in the right spot.

“Okay,” Qiu says, still looking down at the guitar. what do I do now?”

“You wanna learn the song I came up with?”

“Yeah.” They said, while nodding.

“Okay, move your hand to the very top of the guitar and put your finger on the 5th string.”

“Like this?”

“No, like,” Luca drapes an arm around Qiu, bringing them both closer. He gently places his hand over theirs and moves it to the correct place.

“Like this, and put your middle finger on the third string, ring on fourth, and strum. Yeah, you got it!” He softly cheered, being close to Qiu’s ear.

Qiu smiles and lets out a small hum noise in response. “Okay, what do I do now?”

“Now play a C chord”

“C what?”

“A C chord.” Luca giggled out, “It’s fine! I’ll teach you”

With his hand still on Qiu’s, he places their hand in the right spot. They continue on playing the notes: Am, C, Em, G. Before they come to an end.

“You did it!”

“Yeah, it wasn’t as hard as I thought!” Qiu admits.

“Really?” He inquires.

Luca looks up at the same time as Qiu and their noses brush together. Luca hadn’t realized just how close he was to Qiu, while teaching them the instrument.

“Oh, um,” Luca stutters and stumbles away from Qiu to the far end of the couch.

“Are you-?”

Luca cuts them off “Yeah, yeah, I just, umm,” his hands fleeting for his neck. He can feel his face burning. Qiu’s expression is mixed with worry and confusion. “You wanna watch the movie now?”

“S-sure, I guess?” Qiu awkwardly hands the guitar back to him.

Luca grabs his guitar and reaches for the camera to turn it off.

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___________________

8/31/14 13:41 battery: full

“My feet feel like they’re getting amputated,” Luca groans in agony, standing in front of the camera in a place that looks similar to a gym. “And it’s cold!”

“Pfft, if you think this is bad, you should try dancing pointe!” Qiu chimed in, stepping out from behind Luca.

“How am I gonna skate in this?” Luca whined.

“I think the real question is how you’re going to skate holding that camera,” Qiu corrected.

“I’ll find a way!” Luca declared, grabbing the camera off the shelf where it was propped and shakily turning it toward Qiu, who stood perfectly straight, smirking without a problem, with their hands folded. They were wearing a dark navy checkered jacket that hid their small figure and dark jeans. “Like this,” Luca said.

While his words seemed convincing, it wasn’t too convincing to Qiu. Qiu soon took hold of the camera and held it towards the ground, showing off their bright blue ice skates.

“I think it would be better if you sat this one out and filmed later, Bambi,” Qiu teased.

“Yeah, I like that idea,” Luca admitted, letting out a laugh. “Just close it, it’ll turn off.”

“Kay,” Qiu’s voice muffled slightly before everything went black.

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****************************

8/31/14 15:21 Battery: Full

It took a second for the camera to adjust to the warm bright lights where it was placed, but soon became clear. The camera was on a table between Luca and Qiu, who were sitting across from each other. The table had two drinks and a single plate with a medium-sized funnel cake on it.

“My legs hurt so bad!” Luca said, dramatically throwing back his head and sliding down into the booth.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have tried to copy my spins,” Qiu snickered, ripping a piece of the funnel cake off.

“You looked so graceful while doing it! You can’t blame me for trying,” he said, looking back down at Qiu.

“I’m not over the face you made when you fell,” Qiu began, trying to stifle their laughter with their hand. “It’s like you saw your life flash before your eyes!” They laughed out, unable to hold it in any longer.

“That’s because it did! I swear there was something wrong with my skates!” Luca attested, laughing.

“Or maybe you’re just ass at skating.” Qiu smirked at him.

Luca dramatically throws his hands on his heart, making a pained expression. “Your words can hurt a person, Qiu.”

“You’re so dramatic.” Qiu rolled their eyes, reaching for another piece of funnel cake.

“Hey! Save some for the rest of us!”

“I haven’t even had a lot!”

“You’ve had several pieces! I’ve only gotten one!” He complained before tearing a chunk out of the funnel cake and eating it.

“Dramatic,” Qiu scoffed at Luca’s antics. Luca only chuckled at Qiu’s reaction to him.

“You have powder all over your face,” Qiu told him, looking back at him.

“What?” Luca wipes his face, trying to get the powder off. “Did I get it off?”

“No, over here,” Qiu said, pointing to the left side of their face.

“Now?”

“No, like here—let me just—” Qiu quickly turns to their bag and grabs the yellow bandana off the strap. As Qiu leans in to wipe Luca’s face, he quickly moves back into the chair with a shocked expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry—”

“Nono—”

“I should’ve asked—”

“I just wasn’t expecting you to,” Luca says, bashfully gesturing to his face.

“I’m sorry,” Qiu mumbled, awkwardly leaning back in the booth.

“No, you’re fine. I—”

“My mom is here.” Qiu cuts him off, sliding out of the booth, grabbing the shared plate and their drink.

“Oh—” Luca quickly looks over at the camera and slides it over to himself before things suddenly go dark.

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___________________

9/9/14 16:33 battery: Half

“How haven’t you run out of storage on your camera yet?”

“No clue, and I’m not going to question it!”

In the frame of the camera, Luca and Qiu stood several feet apart in Qiu’s living room. It looked like the items usually in the center of the room had been pushed to the side. On closer inspection, both teens were holding something in their hands.

“Do I have to do this?” Qiu groaned, throwing their head back.

“Switch me controllers; I’m going to be player one!” Luca declared, switching the devices in their hands.

“I guess I don’t have a choice,” Qiu muttered defeatedly, glancing at the now switched controller. They turned their head to look at their best friend. “Why are you so far away?”

“It’s ‘Just Dance’! We have to have room to dance,” Luca answered, not taking his eyes off the TV.

“Yeah, but we don’t need to be this far away. You’re probably not even in the frame anymore.”

Qiu made a good point—the few feet they were originally apart had turned into several, and Luca was mere inches away from being out of the camera’s sight.

“I’m still in frame,” Luca replied, sparing a quick glance toward the camera before looking back at the TV. “What song do you wanna do?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll still beat you,” Qiu said smugly, placing their hands on their hips.

“Yeah, right. This time you’re not winning!”

“Didn’t you say that the last two times we played?”

“I let you win those times!” Luca sputtered, looking at them. “This time I’m not going to.”

“Yeah, right. You just can’t accept that I’m a better dancer, Luca,” Qiu teased.

“Really? Just watch—you’re going down today, Qiu,” he declared, facing forward toward the TV. “We’re doing ‘I Kissed a Girl.’ We haven’t done that one yet.”

“Fine by me,” Qiu replied.

With that, Luca pressed start. The fast intro of the song moved along with time and quickly ended as soon as it started.

“What was that about me going down again?” Qiu said, smirking toward Luca.

“It was the first song!” he countered. “Again. Next song, you’re going down.”

And again, and again—another song, another dance. The outcome was always the same: Qiu wins, Luca gives another reason why he lost. It was undeniable that the pair was having fun, dancing to overplayed songs from the previous year. They danced so much that layers of jackets and sweatshirts had to be abandoned to the side as they played into the evening.

“My controller wasn’t registering this time! One more round, I swear I’ll win this time, Qiu,” Luca huffed.

“That’s what you said last time,” Qiu said, pulling their shirt away and back in as a makeshift fan. “We’ve done almost all the songs in the game, and I’m hungry.”

It was clear, even through the frame, that the duo was tired. Qiu was overheated, and Luca was winded. They’d been dancing almost nonstop, taking small breaks between choosing songs. The clock behind them had gone from 16:00 to 18:00 before they realized.

“I swear, it’s the last song! We haven’t done ‘One Thing’ yet! Pleaseeee,” Luca pleaded.

“Fine. One more time,” Qiu gave in, holding up a single finger to emphasize that they were serious. “After that, I’m getting something to eat.”

“Yes!” Luca cheered. “I promise I’ll win this round.”

“Yup, totally,” Qiu agreed, sarcastically rolling their eyes as they tied their hair back with an elastic band.

Luca hit the start on the controller. Both of them got into motion at the same time, giggling nervously as they tried to avoid eye contact while spinning around each other. While Qiu danced with a level of gracefulness, Luca felt his movements were more awkward in comparison. Each time they linked hands or held each other’s waist, it felt fun and overwhelming all at once, like he was drowning in Qiu’s presence. It was different—and somehow similar—to what he’d felt with Tamarack-but that couldn’t be right, could it?

The song came to a dramatic end, snapping Luca out of his thoughts. The ending pose had Luca holding onto Qiu’s shoulder, facing each other, with Qiu’s hand on his arm. When their eyes met, their laughter at themselves couldn’t be contained. They eventually untangled themselves from one another, giving each other a better view of the other. No words were exchanged; they were both in the moment.

While the feeling was thrilling, it was also confounding. Luca had felt something like it before, but… not with someone like Qiu. It was similar to what he felt with Tamarack, but that couldn’t be right, could it?

“I gotta go home!” Luca blurted out.

“What?” Qiu’s smile dropped as they looked confused. “I thought you were staying for dinner tonight?”

“I just remembered I have to do that assignment Mr. Wilson gave us today,” Luca lied.

“He didn’t give us an assignment today,” Qiu said suspiciously.

“I mean, not the one from today,” Luca replied, shaking his head as he tried to sound convincing while walking toward his jacket. “The one from last week! I forgot tomorrow’s the last day to turn it in.”

“Are you just using that as an excuse to leave?”

“No, no! I just, like, remembered I have to do it,” Luca replied, turning to face them.

“You can just tell me if you wanna go home,” Qiu said, folding their arms and looking upset.

“No, I really just need to get the assignment done before he plummets my grade.”

“Fine,” Qiu said, crossing their arms. They weren’t going to make Luca stay if he didn’t want to. Why force him to stay somewhere he clearly didn’t want to be? “You can leave if you want.”

“I’m sorry,” Luca continued walking toward his camera. “I just want to get it done.”

Luca grabbed the camera, flipping it toward the coffee stand it had been resting on near the TV.

“I said it was fine,” Qiu grunted.

Luca’s voice was the last to be heard, a small “okay,” followed by the words “Player one wins” on the TV.

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___________________

9/12/14 16:04 battery: full

“Why does this camera never wannato sit up right?” Luca said, exasperated.

Luca was towering over the camera, causing the only thing in view to be his yellow, washed-out button-up. After stabilizing the device, he scooted back, revealing his familiar bedroom. He wore grey jeans and a belt to match his shirt. His guitar was propped up next to him, and he sat in the same spot in front of his bed on the floor, just like he had a few weeks prior.

“I did it, I finished the song,” he said, giving the camera a big toothy grin.

“Well, finished is an overstatement. I’ve only come up with a chorus, but I had nothing before!” he explained, grabbing his black guitar and plugging in the amp cord. “I wrote it late last night. I was having trouble sleeping, and I had nothing better to do. I would have filmed it, but I didn’t want to wake anyone up with the sounds.”

He placed the guitar on his leg to support it. He closed his eyes, put his first three fingers on the strings, and strummed. Though, unlike other times, instead of just the same four chords progressing alone, it was accompanied by lyrics.

‘I'm drowning in your presence, and I'll never get tired.

Dunno about you though,

So I swallow till I choke on the tears that spill,

But I won't let you see,

'Cause I want you to be happy.

I'm the least of your worries.’

He opened his eyes, looked at the camera, and nervously laughed. “The lyrics came naturally to me. Honestly, the reason I was having trouble sleeping last night was because I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened on Tuesday with Qiu. We haven’t spoken much since,” Luca admitted, his face tensed as he looked down. He gripped his guitar tighter and continued.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about the way they looked then and the awkwardness between us now, but the reason I left in such a rush was because I’ve never felt the way I felt with somebody like Qiu.” he breathed out.

“It just confuses me because I’ve only felt this way recently with Qiu, ever since the start of the new school year. I watched back some of my recordings from the start of the year that had Qiu in them over the last few days. When I watched them back, it hit me that the way I felt with Qiu is how I’ve felt with people I’ve had crushes on.” Luca looked at the camera, feeling gutted, finally admitting how he feels. “What does this mean about me, then?” he whispered in a soft voice, barely audible.

“I can’t even tell Qiu how I feel because I’d be risking the entire friendship, and they have bigger problems than me and my dumb feelings,” he loosened his grip on his guitar, looking down.

“The feeling I have with Qiu isn’t bad, but I want things to go back to normal, when things were easier. I’m honestly probably just overthinking my feelings, and in a week, this’ll all blow over,” he rationalized, looking back up at the camera.

“Luca! Time for dinner, come down now!” a loud voice called from off-frame, presumably a parent.

Luca jumped slightly, then looked over his shoulder and called back a response.

“Okay!”

Luca quickly turned back, extending an arm toward the camera.

“I gotta go now!”

With that, the camera’s lens shut.

˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚

___________________

9/17/14 17:014 battery: full

The camera lenses fluttered open to reveal a woodland scene. The warm autumn light danced on the trees, and the crunch of the leaves could be heard. With each new step came a new scene to behold.

“Why are you recording?” The camera turned to face the person who spoke. “We’re not at the creek yet.” Qiu came into the frame with a stoic expression, looking towards the camera. They were wearing a dark brown fleece jacket with skinny black jeans.

“Because the best things are filmed unintentionally.” Luca’s response could be heard from behind the camera.

“Right.” Qiu agreed mindlessly, turning to face forward as they walked with their hands in their pockets.

This was going exactly how Luca had worried it would. Both Luca and Qiu had been assigned partners for the joint English and Biology semester final. It consisted of a two-page research essay and a video that had to be at least 5 minutes long, focusing on a specific type of ecosystem of their choosing.

While Luca felt relieved to finally have a reason to spend time with Qiu, he knew another problem would arise. Ever since he had rushed out of Qiu’s house, things had been undeniably tense and dry between them. Although Luca had tried apologizing afterward, Qiu had sort of just brushed him off with a short reply—just like they were doing now. He’d felt terrible knowing how his actions had caused this rift in their relationship, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

Luca, unsure of what to say, continued filming their walk through the forest, with the leaves crackling beneath their feet. Eventually, they arrived at the creek. The creek was a familiar place for them, having visited it a few times when they were 10. It was on an incline, covered with orange and red leaves. Water flowed down the slope, and many rocks covered in moss surrounded the creek.

The two of them had already discussed who would do what part of the final. While they both had to write their own essays, they would be using the same information they gathered together. Qiu was going to make a list of the organisms and gather notes for a food web and chain, while Luca was going to create a timelapse using his camera and take pictures on his phone for the video.

Luca soon found a tree branch to place the camera on for the timelapse. The camera faced the creek as the pair worked together. As more pictures and notes were taken, the tension between them lessened. Although things weren’t perfect, it was more bearable. Slowly, the shade began to take over the creek, and it was getting time to leave.

Qiu walked over to where Luca was, after sitting their bag down near the camera. He was near the left of the creek, toward the incline.

“What are you doing?” Qiu asked, confused.

Luca, who had been standing normally, was now on his tiptoes on some moss-covered rocks, stretching out as if trying to grab something.

“Snail,” Luca croaked out.

“What?”

“I’m trying to, uh, get this snail so I can take a picture of it, and then we can go,” Luca said between grunts, stretching even further.

“You’re going to end up falling into the creek and busting your head like that,” Qiu said, getting a little closer, worried. “Get down; we can also come back and find another snail.”

“I’m not, ugh, gonna fall in. I can almost grab it!” Luca grumbled, determined.

“Fine, but when you fall in, I’m not helping you get out,” Qiu said, putting their hands in their pockets.

“That’s fine with me, ‘cause it won’t happen. I think I touched it—WOAH!”

Luca’s foot slipped on the rock, and he was sent tumbling toward the creek. His quick reflexes kicked in as his hands latched onto the nearest object, pulling himself up from falling. He didn’t realize what he grabbed wasn’t a branch or a stem until he heard a big splash behind him.

“Qiu!” Luca cried, turning to face the creek. “Are you okay?!”

Qiu was soaked head to toe, sitting waist-deep in the creek, still processing what had just happened.

Luca rushed over to Qiu at the creek’s edge, extending a hand to them. Qiu hesitated, looking at Luca’s hand before a glint appeared in their eye. Using both hands, they grabbed Luca’s arm and pulled him down into the creek with them!

“What the hell?!” Luca exclaimed in shock, wiping water from his eyes.

“That’s what you get for pulling me into the creek!” Qiu said, laughing.

“Qiu, this isn’t funny, we’re both soaked now!” Luca tried to sound serious, but he couldn’t help but giggle a little too.

“Yeah,” Qiu said with a mischievous smile. “How about you get even wetter?” Splashing Luca with their arms.

“HEY!” Luca gasped, covering his face with his arms. “Oh, you’re going to regret that!” Using his legs, he created a bigger splash aimed at Qiu.

As they continued splashing and chasing one another in the creek, with the sun setting, Luca couldn’t help but feel that, no matter what happened between him and Qiu, things were going to be alright.

Post A/N: “I’m probably just overthinking my feeling and in a week this’ll all blow over” I say as the drag me to take my medication.

@lov3-from-loserlane I realized when I was half way done with the fanfic that you never explicitly said Luca likes filming only that he likes films which could mean he just likes watching it. I apologize if I misinterpreted what you mean😭 feel free to Dm if you want! There’s so much lore behind this fanfic if you’d like!

[plum-pitt]

X-Men Origins Rewrite

Ok I guess this is a follow up to this post i made not too long ago abt rewriting this shit, the brainworms rlly got to me here so you’re getting a follow up sooner than expected lol

Before I actually do any rewriting though I wanted to lay out the big changes I’d be making and why, mainly for myself as a guide and to organize my thoughts both about the original film’s issues and how these changes could potentially solve them, but also to allow anyone else with some ideas for possible changes to add their own thoughts or suggestions by engaging with the post.

As for what kind of final product you could possibly expect these ideas to result in, i haven’t quite decided if I want to just do an in depth outline for the story with my proposed changes or do like a full length fic novelization. It’ll probably depend on how motivated I still feel about the exercise by the time I’m finished and happy with the cleaned up outline, but I digress. Lets just go ahead and get into the changes I want to make:

Proposed Changes:

First off, I’m removing Blob and Gambit from this cut. I like both of the characters and think it’s cool they tried to include them but the cast is crammed enough as it is and those two serve very little narrative purpose that can’t be shifted to others just as easily.

Second, I’m adding Silverfox to Team X and letting that serve as the meeting point for her and Logan, it gives the audience more time to get to know her and come to care for her and Logan’s relationship, while also harkening back to the comics where she was also a part of the weapon x program. Also I know this isn’t a real film but let it be known that if it were i’d actually hire a Native American actress to portray her, i’m still shitty they whitewashed her.

Third, I’m removing the third act “Silverfox wasn’t really dead” twist. I really shouldn’t have to explain why, that shit was dumb and completely unnecessary, not to mention introducing a shit ton of plot holes with that whack ass mutant ability they pull from thin air. In my version she’s human(as far as we know) and when she dies she dies for real, full stop.

Fourth, we are GETTING a biblically accurate Deadpool. They did my bro dirty and I refuse to compromise on this. His role will be larger to compensate for his big ass personality and the fact that i’m affectively letting him take up Gambit’s role from the original in addition to what he already had. Also I just think he bounces off of Logan really well and could serve as a really interesting parallel with having such similar trauma and very different ways of responding to it and seeing the world. Like just imagine D&W if they accidentally traumabonded over their similar origin stories.

Fifth, I’m making Victor our stand in for the films Weapon XI! He doesnt get adamantium or new powers like Wade, only the dehumanizing psychological torture present in the original Weapon X comic. I think it works great for his spiraling arc, gives me a chance to squeeze a faithful weapon X adaptation in here without upending the entire film’s structure, and helps to better position his character on a trajectory towards his more feral appearance in X1 where he doesn’t seem to fully recognize Logan.

Sixth, I’d like to include Dr. Cornelius as the head scientist in Weapon X. My current concept is that he’s in charge of all the unethical mutant capturing and experimenting, working under Stryker’s supervision but still an outsider to the government, being sent in by Stryker’s most significant source of funding for his program in Nathaniel Essex. I know this has zero basis in canon I just think it sounds cool and makes sense for Sinister to have hands in a program aiming to create perfect mutant soldiers, as someone using mutants DNA to create a genetically perfect race of superhumans and become the ultimate life form. (Sinister would not play a large role, more of a looming presence pulling strings and fucking people over)

To get more overarching here, I wanted to hone in on the dynamics and themes present in the original that i thought had the most potential for further development. Victor’s spiral to madness and eventual complete loss of self under Stryker, Logan learning to let go of Victor’s influence and the violence that he let define his life only for both to drag him back after Silverfox’s demise. Really digging into that nature vs nurture shit, and adding more mutant politics (and their accompanying metaphors for the struggles of marginalized people) cuz honestly i feel like it’s absence in the original is very noticeable, and ties in really well with Logan’s arc of self acceptance and learning to see himself as more than the violent nature of his mutation.

Stuff I Still Want Changed:

Ok so here’s where I’m throwing my hat out for suggestions, because there are still a couple minor things present in the movie that i’m just not a fan of or don’t really know what to do with. The difference is, with these I can’t really think of tweaks that could fix/improve them. So if yall have any ideas on what I can do about these, or maybe some completely unrelated changes that you just think could improve the rewrite, please let me know.

One, not really sure what to do with Zero, he’s around for a lot of the movie but didn’t really stand out much to me. I just don’t know a lot about the character or what his deal is in the comics to find something cool to do with him. I’m going back and forth on if his role is ultimately necessary?? Does Stryker really need another henchman? Or should I use the space he occupies to hone in more on Victor and Logan’s rivalry? Idk i’m still on the fence so tell me what yall think.

Two, god I just fucking hate those memory wiping adamantium bullets. It’s such a stupid plot device that makes no sense conceptually and was clearly just thrown in as an afterthought at the last second like the writers forgot they needed to erase his memory by the end. That’s not to mention the fact that the bullets’ function was retconned later in Logan. Genuinely though I cannot find another way to go about fucking up Logan’s head without basically upending the structure of this movie in its entirety so any ideas on how to solve this dilemma are appreciated.