#( babysitting himself: he's doing it )
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Thinking about a bingqiu Dreamling AU where Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua are both bored deities, just sort of taking a brief sojourn through the mortal world to shoot the shit and see some interesting monster or other that Shen Yuan has heard about, when they come across a tea house and decide to take a break and do some people-watching instead.
Shen Yuan is well into something of a shut-in phase, which Shang Qinghua doesn't like, mostly because when Shen Yuan is in those phases he doesn't do particularly well either. Shen Yuan's a social butterfly, for however little he cares to actually acknowledge it about himself, and his critique of Shang Qinghua's literary masterpieces gets so much harsher when he's not getting enough enrichment.
So when they overhear one of the kitchen boys solemnly insisting that he is going to do everything in his power to never die, and Shen Yuan laments that the boy would probably regret such a wish if it came true, Shang Qinghua decides to bestow a rare bit of godly power onto this mortal and grant his wish.
He doesn't make him a god, of course, that wouldn't even be in his ability. At least, not without using up more time and effort than he's prepared to expend on this one random kid. But immortality on its own is not that difficult. The boy will still finish growing up, and will still be able to be harmed, to know hunger and pain and illness. It just won't ever kill him.
Shen Yuan sighs that it's a cruel thing to do to a mortal, especially one with such low odds of ever cultivating other skills to mitigate the potential torment of it all. But Shang Qinghua just shrugs and they place bets, that this boy will ask for the immortality to be revoked in a hundred years, or two hundred, or so on, or else he won't. Shen Qingqiu approaches the kitchen boy and flusters and bewilders him by telling him to meet him back here again in a hundred years time.
A hundred years later, the tea house is larger. The boy has grown to be a striking young man, who looks at Shen Yuan with wariness and something else, something almost like awe, as he asks what manner of creature he's made this bargain with. Shen Yuan assures him that he has no nefarious intentions, and instead asks Luo Binghe how the past century of his life has gone.
Horribly, at least at first. Binghe's mother had already died by the time they met, but afterwards he managed to earn enough money to travel to a nearby sect. Working in the tea house's kitchen was just a minor stopover along the way. Shen Yuan was wrong, it seems, about his odds of becoming a cultivator -- Luo Binghe earned entry as a disciple.
Yet, he had no success. The master who took him on was unaccountably cruel and mercurial, and Luo Binghe's attempts to cultivate failed. Looking back he sees now that there were many times when he should have died but didn't, but when it was all happening he just thought himself lucky. At least until an enemy sect attacked a cultivation conference, and he suffered mortal wounds that absolutely should have killed him (or anyone) but still didn't die. (No demon race or abyss in this AU, but there are still demonic and fantastical creatures.)
His cruel master, upon witnessing this, accused him of heretical practices and tried to kill him as well by flinging him off the edge of a gorge. The fall was terrible. Binghe lay at the bottom in a horrifying state, injured beyond reason and yet, still, he didn't die. Eventually his body recovered enough for him to drag himself out, and once he did the only thing on his mind was getting revenge. For the next several decades he managed to ingratiate himself to all manner of potential allies, forging alliances, accumulating blackmail, and convincing people that he had to be some powerful cultivator through his supernatural resilience, lack of visible aging, and a lot of bluffing. He got revenge on his old teacher, drove his first sect into ruin, and rose to prominence as a feared and respected leader of the cultivation world.
Shen Yuan listens with clear interest, asking plenty of questions and seemingly quite taken up with the story. At the conclusion, Luo Binghe admits that his actual cultivation is still mostly a matter of smoke and mirrors, and wonders if -- now that the hundred years have passed -- Shen Yuan means to strip his immortality from him.
Shen Yuan asks if Luo Binghe wants that. When Luo Binghe says no, he accepts the answer, and tells him to meet him back here again in another hundred years. Luo Binghe calls after him, but before he can ask anything more, Shen Yuan has disappeared again.
A hundred years later, Binghe arrives back at the tea house with an entourage befitting of an emperor. The tea house has also expanded. Luo Binghe orders a lavish feast from them, which everyone hastens to provide. He's spent the past several decades consolidating his power, forging alliances with key political players via several marriages, producing heirs, and crushing his enemies. As he brags about the state of his massive harem to Shen Yuan, the deity's eyes begin to glaze over. He doesn't seem impressed. He also doesn't seem to care much for the food, and eventually his attention is stolen away by a conversation at another table. The diners are discussing the exploits of a promising new poet and novelist. Try as he might, Luo Binghe fails to regain Shen Yuan's attention before the evening is done. Shen Yuan doesn't think it's a big deal -- after all, if Binghe is still riding on top of the world, he's probably not going to want his immortality gift revoked just yet!
Another hundred years go by. The tea house has returned to a more modest situation, the next time Shen Yuan sets foot in it. He waits an unusually long while for his guest to arrive, and when he does, he's almost stopped at the door by the tea house's servers. It's only when Shen Yuan bids them let him through that Luo Binghe is able to come to the table, almost collapsing against it and desperately falling onto the arrangement of snacks with obvious hunger.
Shen Yuan wonders if this, now, will be when the boy (no longer a boy) asks for the immortality to be revoked. Surprisingly, he finds himself resistant to the idea, even though it's also clear that the game has run too long. Maybe hundred year check-ins were too short? He doesn't like the implications of what's gone on, even if he's not really surprised about it either.
Between desperate mouthfuls of food, Luo Binghe explains that without mastering inedia, going hungry but never dying is a deeply unpleasant experience. Shen Yuan orders more food. Once Binghe has finally eaten his fill, he begins, haltingly, to explain his situation. His clothes are ragged, he is painfully thin, and his gaze is haunted.
Apparently, several of his wives conspired to assassinate him, despite his reputation as unkillable. Realizing that most poisons and such didn't kill him, but that he could still be incapacitated, they hatched a scheme to dose his food with a powerful sleeping agent, and then walled him up in a famous ancestral tomb. They went to great length to ensure that it was impossible to escape from. It took Binghe decades to do it anyway, digging away at the floors, and when he got out he found that his power base had collapsed. In-fighting and the incursion of his enemies had led to the deaths of all of his children, and what wives had survived had either fled or remarried. Not that he particularly wanted them back at that point, since the ones actually most loyal to him had also been killed early on after his own "death". His face marked him, to the eyes of his enemy, as a surviving descendant of himself. He was hunted down, chased across the continent and back again, until he managed to fall into enough obscurity that his pursuers abandoned the chase. Except that he has nothing, and any time he tries to regain something, he runs the risk of being hounded again. Those who might see some potential in him still remember the collapse of his recent "dynasty" and slam doors in his face, or else try and turn him over to those now in power in pursuit of a reward. Those who don't know that much see only a dirty beggar, and usually run him off on that basis instead.
Shen Yuan, almost hesitant, asks if Luo Binghe would like to have his immortality revoked.
Luo Binghe declines. How will he be able to take revenge on those who wronged him if he is dead? He has a hit list a mile long by now.
Which is definitely not the most noble of reasons to persist, but Shen Yuan finds himself reluctant to ask twice. Instead he orders more food, and then even reserves one of the traveler's rooms above the tea house for several days. By then the sky is turning grey, and Luo Binghe is losing his apparent battle with exhaustion. Shen Yuan presses the key into his hand, thinking it's probably not enough, but there are limits to how much gods are supposed to interfere and Shang Qinghua already stretched them to the breaking point with this entire scenario.
He leaves, not seeing the hand that reaches after him just before he is out of the door and gone.
Another hundred years pass. This time, Shen Yuan arrives to find Luo Binghe already waiting for him. He isn't surprised to see that Binghe's situation has visibly improved -- maybe he was keeping closer tabs on him, just a little bit, for this past while. If only to be sure he wouldn't have to warn the tea house workers to expect an unorthodox visitor again! But no, Binghe has been doing well enough for himself. No more harems or thrones, though. He dresses more like a well-off merchant now, deliberately posing as his own mortal descendant rather than as a great immortal cultivator. The food at the table looks far more delicious than usual too (Binghe commandeered the tea house's kitchen himself this time). As they chat, Shen Yuan is regaled with the exploits of Luo Binghe's travels and adventures, how even though he initially set out to claim revenge on those who overthrew him, by the time he was in a position to actually do so they had already died of the usual causes (time, illness, their own schemes backfiring, etc). Subsequently, only their children and grandchildren were left with the scraps of power they had obtained, and when one of those children employed Luo Binghe as a bodyguard, his initial plan to assassinate them eventually fell by the wayside. After all, the wrongdoings weren't actually theirs. From that point, Binghe was able to restore himself to a more comfortable life, joining his new employer on their travels until he had set aside enough earnings to take his leave before his youthful good-looks earned him suspicion. He then began investing in travel and trade, specifically cargo ships, because never spending too long in the same place or around the same people helped disguise his immortality. He had found that, at least for now, this served him better than playing the part of a cultivator. It also gave him time to try and actually repair his ruined cultivation base somewhat, and fighting pirates proved very diverting.
Binghe is midway through recounting his adventures with a gigantic sea monster, while Shen Yuan hangs on every word, when they're interrupted by the arrival of a brash young mistress, clearly wealthy and trained in cultivation. The young lady declares that there is a rumor that a fallen god and a demon meet in this tea house once a century, that they wield strange powers, etc etc, and she intends to interrogate them both with the assistance of her hired muscle and her own spiritual weapon, and discover the truth of the matter. Then she whips out, well, a whip!
Before Shen Yuan can deal with the matter, Luo Binghe is already on his feet, disarming the goons and breaking a few arms in the process. Shen Yuan is so distracted that he almost misses the whip aimed right for him, but before Binghe can catch the barbed weapon with his bare hand (wtf, Binghe, no) Shen Yuan deflects it with a wave of his fan, and then efficiently knocks the troublesome young lady unconscious. The hired muscle flees, Shen Yuan arranges for their assailant to be placed in a room upstairs until she regains consciousness, and he and Binghe resume their meal and conversation in relative peace.
Even though it's clear that Luo Binghe has not yet reached the end of his tolerance for life, Shen Yuan nevertheless finds himself strangely reluctant to part ways at the end of the night. Still, he does, because that's what is expected of him, gently denying Luo Binghe's suggestions that they find some other establishment to continue their conversation at. He also has to investigate these "rumors" that the young lady mentioned. It's probably nothing (Shang Qinghua has a loose tongue when he's drunk, and a lot of imaginative storytellers have frequented this tea house over the years) but he doesn't like being caught unawares like that. Heavenly politics are... complicated, it's best not to court unwanted attention in any capacity.
Another hundred years go by. This time, when they meet at the tea house, Luo Binghe asks Shen Yuan why he keeps it up. Why did he pick Binghe? What is he really after? When Shen Yuan fails to give any kind of clear answer, Luo Binghe shoots his shot and makes a (very obvious) move on him.
Shen Yuan, flustered, gets up and flees. Ignoring Luo Binghe's calls after him. It just doesn't make any sense! Why would Binghe do that?! He's a man who once had a harem of wives in the triple digits! Clearly he's not gay, so what was that all about? Was he just messing with him?! How dare he! Etc, etc.
Another century passes. Luo Binghe waits at the tea house, which has fallen onto hard times again. With the construction of some new roadways, travelers no longer pass through as often. Binghe listens, worried, to the proprietor's laments that this old place will probably not be around in another hundred years. He listens because he has no one else to speak to, because Shen Yuan has not shown up. Not that morning, not during the day, not come evening, and not now that it is closing time. Binghe nevertheless charms and bribes the proprietor to let him stay even after the place has shuttered.
It seems damning, of course. He pressed too hard and now his mysterious benefactor wants nothing more to do with him. Except, no, he refuses to accept that. He's still immortal. And he has gleaned enough of Shen Yuan's character by now that he thinks that even if he was rejected, he would be let down more clearly and gently than this. The more he thinks about it, the less willing Luo Binghe is to believe that he has been deliberately stood up (also, since the tenor of his confession was different from Hob Gadling's, he never delivered an ultimatum about what it might imply when they met up again).
Over the centuries, Luo Binghe has built up a few contacts with similarly strange and supernatural stories. Cultivators, sure, but also others, fortune tellers and people of strange ancestry, questionable abilities, those who have interacted with powerful beings of mysterious provenance. He makes his way to a certain gambling den, frequented often by such people, and while he flashes around enough money to draw curiosity, he collects information. Shen Yuan wasn't the only person who started paying more attention to the kinds of rumors surrounding the two of them after their confrontation with the young cultivator a couple centuries ago. And in fact, Luo Binghe has been spending many, many years trying to find out more about his mystery man. Though, too many potential deities and immortals fit his description for him to have ever conclusively figured much out.
This is how Binghe gets wind of a rumor that an eccentric occultist has somehow captured a god in his basement...
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain's self saving system#bingyuan#scum villain#long post#whoever the roderick burgess proxy is here he's got a big storm coming#going the classic dreamling fanfic route and having shen yuan get rescued instead of having to escape by himself#shang qinghua has definitely made other people immortal on various whims and impulses#he bestows his gift recklessly on a betrayed young prince at one point and the divine emperor is just like 'enough!'#'if you're doing to do this I'm going to make you babysit the results! you descend and work for that prince now!' so he's got his hands ful#dreamling might be the situation but shen yuan isn't much of a dream of the endless type#and luo binghe is nothing like hob gadling lol#'I want to live because I love life!' nope it's mostly about spite#the hardest part of this AU is imagining a universe where shen yuan would ignore luo binghe for long enough to let actual centuries pass
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In a another world, Peak of Combat has a plot that involves Time Travel Shenanigans which puts V in one of the Funniest Situations.
#My Art#DMC V#dmc poc#Devil May Cry peak of Combat#I mean kind of? Kind of#Local man has to deal with teenage versions of all the people he knows including himself#Familiars having a great time watching V now have to babysit everyone for once#V's Personal Pear Wiggler#Also RIP to the shadow leash backpack and the Nightmare leash backpack for Dante and Vergil#They got to small in the pic#DMC Griffon#Dmc Shadow#Dmc Vergil#Dmc Dante#Dmc Lady#Dmc Nero#Nero and Lady do not need leashes because they also would like to figure out what the hell is going on#Vergil and Dante need leashes because as soon as they are in vicinity they just start fighting#anyway I am going to post peak of combat opinions at some point.#BUT PRIMARILY—I want to read a time travel fic#devil may cry art
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Prompt:
Dick Grayson has to juggle being in the spotlight again as Brucie Wayne’s son with his nightly vigilante activities. Easier said than done, when most days he has to struggle keeping his eyes open during the day.
But now? After Brucie’s most recent investing campaign that’s pissing a lot of people off? Yeah, Dick Grayson is once more in the top ten of most wanted on the both kidnappers’ and killers’ lists.
Thankfully there’s a new crime lord in town with a penchant for altruism.
And honestly, this is gonna benefit them both! Dick’s got the money to pay him and Hood’s got the manpower and brute strength to act as his bodyguard, not to mention the added benefit of helping the man turn Crime Alley into something… well, something with less crime! It’s a perfect plan!
Now Dick’s just gotta convince the Red Hood of that, too…
#Jason is torn between shooting dick and shooting himself#honestly wtF made the boy wonder think he’s interested in playing house with him?#goddammit#this is screwing up his plans already#Jason was scheduled for titans tower two hours ago#now he’s babysitting a tired vigilante#who still thinks hood is just an up and coming crime lord he can still turn to the good side or some shit#and now Jason also has to pretend like he’s got no idea that dick grayson is Nightwing#wait why is he doing this again???#bodyguard au#dick grayson#jason todd#batfamily#bruce wayne#batfam#robin#red hood#Nightwing#prompts#Dick Grayson and Jason Todd
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thinking about the Charlie's birthday stream. not the ending, no, we think about that too much. no I think about everything else:
the happiness, the joy, the warmth of it all for nearly two full hours
the lack of mob spawns that night because it’s Charlie's birthday and he has eggs with him. how intentional it is. how funny it is and how sad it makes me because its so considerate
thinking about Tallulah by Charlie's side the whole time, diligently leading him from item to item as his little "guardian angel". Charlie trying to be a good tio and falling a little short sometimes, accidentally leaving Tallulah behind when she crashes but still trying cause that’s his sobrina. how she has to actually hit him to get his attention and how bad she must feel but it's so fucking funny each time
(how can anyone blame him when he never gets to hang out with the eggs enough to know he should wait for her? Charlie had Juanaflippa for what- 10 days? and was practically shunned by several others and himself from interacting with other eggs after his action, which is understandable, but only for so long. can they not see how he plays with the eggs? hear how soft his voice gets around them? don't the other islanders understand?)
this is maybe the longest he's gotten to hang out with tallulah since he got his backpack. Wilbur is his best friend and this was the egg he left behind. He's still learning and Tallulah still loves him despite it. Two people missing someone dearly, yet they have each other even if it's hard to realize
thinking about "Maybe Tallulah, you were the gift. I think you're the gift, Tallulah."
thinking about Richas, his nephew because Charlie has Mike, an actual brother that is equally excited to see him time and time again. A nephew coming around with the slime head and slime balls, like a mini Charlie, who is decked out in a full ghillie suit. Charlie who plays with the egg, pretending to be a spooky monster and richas playing along and getting scared
thinking about Charlie not knowing how to use the ghillie suit properly so he's still clearly visible to the eggs, yet they act like he isn't for his sake. shepherding him around from place to place because charlie is a little clueless yeah (he's in exile, go easy on him), but they are patient and happy to "tag along" and let him lead
thinking about them all taking a picture with him in the school, charlie wanting one with both of them, something to remember the day by.
thinking about how charlie is clearly loved by the eggs, his huevos, and how he clearly loves them back and is trying to be better for them even if he struggles so much
thinking about Charlie Slimecicle on his birthday, for once happy after everything he's been through, Tallulah and Richarlyson by his side
just him, his sobrina, and his nephew on a little scavenger hunt under the stars while the rest of the server remains quiet and calm. asleep while they remain lively
just them
happy
#slimecicle#qsmp#qsmp tallulah#qsmp richarlyson#qsmp slimecicle#i am soooooooooooo normal about charlie and the eggs#let him be HAPPY PLEASE#it kills me time and time again how#the eggs clearly love him#but charlie doesn't love himself#i'm chewing on drywall over this#why did it have to end like it did#we were so close to having all the focus on Charlie and tallulah and richas for a couple of days#of charlie beginning to HEAL#even if just a little#all of his time with lullah and richas gets overshadowed by codeflippa and i hate it truly im sorry but i do#sorry this just bugs me to no end and it's why i started writing again in the first place#mad ramblings#ALSO THINKING ABOUT BAD LETTING HIM 'BABYSIT' WHILE HE STEPPED AWAY#GOD I MISS HIM INTERACTING WITH THE EGGS#LET HIM HAVE A FUN NO STAKES LITTLE MISSION WITH ALL OF THEM PLEASE NO ANGST#TALLULAH#THE ONLY PERSON TO GO OUT OF HER WAY TO GIVE CHARLIE A BIRTHDAY GIFT OF HER OWN VOLITION#THAT MAY HAVE DISAPPEARED WHEN THEY REMODELED HIS HOME FOR CHARLIES REAL 'GIFT' I HATE YOUUUUUUUU
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Dear Blitzø
Look baby, I know you care very deeply for your friends, daughter, and your (somewhat) boyfriend, you would do anything to help them, and you want to be there for them at all times. But…..FOR LUCIFER’S SAKE, STOP PUTTING YOUR LIFE IN DANGER, STOP TAKING CARE OF EVERYONE, GET THERAPY, AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR FUCKING SELF INSTEAD OF TAKING CARE OTHERS!!!!
Seriously it is time you started doing some self-care!!!!! Face your demons already and quit using your friends, daughter’s and your owl boyfriend’s problems as an excuse to avoid yours.
YOU ARE SELFISH FOR NOT BEING SELFISH!!! IT IS SO SELFISH OF YOU!!!!
Seriously Blitzø you are like the Princess Carolynn of HB. It is distrubing!!!!
Sincerely,
Everyone who is Blitzø stans including me. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
#helluva boss#stolas#helluva boss asmodeus#helluva millie#helluvaverse#blitzø#loona#fizzarolli#moxxie#I hope if M&M have a baby in the next season they will not ask Blitzø to babysit it.#He needs to do some self-care for himself first.#I wonder if they will point out he always takes care of others instead of himself.
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Peaceful night with the Bones Brothers! Wonders never cease!!!!!
#i do love them and they are great kids#bones the elder is writing ''minecraft books'' that are quite detailed and have storylines and illustrations on each page#i spelled chapter for him to put on the first page and he went back to it every time for the other pages#and i heard him mumbling to himself as he flipped ''e. wait i already did e. whoa slow down there''#and his brother just watched and asked questions the whole time#joys of babysitting
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a little pause on art for finals(they are all late) but boy has brain been braining
more specifically on dings' dynamic as asriel and chara's weird uncle bc that's just something i don't see a lot
#talking to the wall#i personally like to think dadster came up to be because these two warmed up the idea of children on his lonely heart#he used to babysit them occasionally#when they Fucking Died™ mf was absolutely destroyed. back to his lonely cave of mourning and no funny children#unless ☝️#but now we're getting into babybones territory we already have a lot of babybones content#and mad scientist playing god with DT yadda yadda you know the drill#asriel couldn't care less about the complicated sci-fi weird machine creepy shit he pulled off#in fact the guy gave him the creeps at first. made him cry once as a baby#but chara thought the guy was the coolest idiot. lab coat and super cool sci-fi shit?? you built WHAT??#So Cool. That's their idol. Also they get to sleep late and do dangerous nerd shit their parents would never let them otherwise#eventually asriel warms up because he's also into shenanigans (and doesn't want to feel left out so he starts trying to prove himself)#by acting like a smartass#fine i'll help but only to laugh when you go bald or something 🙄 (has the time of his life)#they went bald. now them and G are both eggheads#how delightful children are. he misses these two dearly#and then their parents proceed to divorce. is love even real anymore.#should i even tag this#oh well#undertale#gaster#asriel#chara#please nerd with me dont let me shout into the void#thank you
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Prompt: the archangelcule celebrating Jack's birthday 🙏
Lucifer runs himself ragged all week getting the party set up (and despite the fact that he’s done this for Jack every time he needs it since he came back into Michael’s life, it still leaves Michael surprised and wondering what happened to the boy who only knew how to bite the hand that fed when Michael abandoned him, when did he learn to be gentle and reliable, why did Michael waste all this time not seeing him?) to the point that he looks like he might fall asleep in front of the birthday cake before Raphael nudges him with their elbow, and he wakes up to sing.
They sing quietly — loud noises hurt Jack’s ears, one of many little oddities, but they rearrange their lives around his needs: no vacuuming unless he’s out of the house and no yelling from room to room — while Jack looks like he’s about to jump right out of his seat with how much he wants to blow out the candles. Gabriel scoops him up in one arm after, lets Jack’s tiny hand curl around the handle of the (dull!) cake knife while his lays over it to guide him, and helps him to cut pieces for them all himself.
(birthday 3 sentence ficathon! come toss a prompt!)
#wah wahhhh thats their baby!!!!#idk why i stuck them in a human au it just felt right#also im giving jack the gift no one ever allows me to have: no one screaming happy birthday at my party while im visibly trying to escape#the noise. only quiet happy birthdays for jack.#me writing these three sentences creating lore for this world ill never return to but just so u know lucifer is newly sober and raphael was#the first one of his siblings he talked to again because they happened to see him at the park with jack. and raising a kid is expensive he#needed help even if he didn’t want to admit it. and jack is so small and sweet and raphael started slipping lucifer the funds he needed for#jack’s school. which turns into babysitting jack with gabriel’s help while lucifer finds a job. which michael DOES find out about#and after. a lot. of apologizing and begging. michael also gets to be a part of jack’s life. (which lucifer is actually really happy about#because he can visibly see michael’s life also improving with jack there. because michael will make accomodations for jack that he wont for#himself. jack doesnt like the bright flourescents? michael gets a light dimmer and suddenly he doesnt get migraines so much.)#anyway. they’re doing okay now <3 cute little fambly#ask#3 sentence fic#spn#jack kline#lucifer spn#michael spn#raphael spn#gabriel spn
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i know it shouldn’t bother me when people say that dad!gale enjoyers are ignoring gale’s characterization but i can’t help it. it’s not hating gale as a dad that gets me, it’s the idea that “one side” is right and the “other” is wrong. like did the idea that the lines where gale says he’s not father material were written specifically to go both ways simply not occur to some of you? that seems to be the logical conclusion and yet i keep seeing people (mind you, only anti-dad!gale people—not once have i seen a dad!gale enjoyer shame someone for not liking the idea) claim that there’s a correct interpretation! like what happened to live and let live? 😭
#personally i think it has less to do with him thinking he’d be a bad dad#and more that he literally has never thought about having kids bc he’d never found someone to settle down with#and then i also have him and my tav taking yenna back to waterdeep with them#bc gale does camp cooking and yenna says she’ll cook so i like to think they bonded over cooking dinners#and then in the fic gale’s fam runs a restaurant and yenna will go into that#and it’s simply the fact that it seems like a really good environment for yenna so gale’s like well.#we’re taking the kid with us and we’ll figure out the rest later! spontaneity can be good sometimes!#tbh if there’s a character i think would absolutely not want kids it would be astarion i think he’d have his fun babysitting and coming over#but i think he’d be better off—and happier—without them. free to explore himself unburdened.#rambling
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Closed starter - @minodalus
If there's one consistent thing about Floyd Lawton aside from the terrible personality, it's the fact he smokes like a chimney. As the van stops, he halfheartedly pulls the Deadshot mask off his face, shoving it into a pocket of the borrowed Arkham Asylum uniform he'd been given. "Alright. Everybody out, now," he speaks around the cigarette. Besides him, a half asleep Doctor Poison grumbles. Floyd being Floyd, he jabs her in the breast with a wrist-mounted gun. "You too, Princess. No time for beauty sleep. We've got a job to do." Unless she felt like getting her head or limbs blown off, that was. Not his problem, really. "Remember, once we get in we're supposed to blend in," he adds as he opens the van's side door, stepping out into the gloom of Gotham and the loading docks of Arkham. "That means you, Digger. Boomerbutt, you'll be going down to the medical ward with Maru as backup. Don't break anything. Nygma, you're with me. Saad, you...." he narrows his eyes as Copperhead hisses at him, then watches as he starts to scale the complex's back wall. "Yeah, just do whatever with everyone else, you creepy reptilian fuck. Waller's on comms, you know the deal. Keep an ear out." Floyd sighs audibly, pacing the grounds in an attempt to get his bad leg to stop cramping from the lack of blood flow and puffing on his cig. "Right. Let's get to it. Door should be open." Thankfully, the top half of the uniform is bulky, certainly bulky enough to hide the slimmer of his wrist guns as well as the Deadshot costume underneath. He looks damn near normal, even with the usual handlebar mustache.
#Mag reloaded - in-character#minodalus#[babysitting someone I know because he doesn't feel like doing anything by himself at the moment so this may be the only reply I get done]
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Sohei 🤝 Kazama: Bad dads
who even IS a good dad in this series like who even is a dad that we can all look at and go 'now THATS a good dad right there'
#snap chats#this is a trick question of course. i ALWAYS mean arakawa is number one peepaw in my heart#but fr like date / the florist / yuta's bitchass dad......#a good dad is hard to come by in this series...... and when we do he gets dumped in the fucking BAY GOD DAMMIT#see every time i want to call jo a good dad i hear my bestie come from the top rope with 'he put a baby in a locker'#CAUSE ITS AN AWKWARD MOMENT NOW INNIT. TERRIBLE start to fatherhood and being gone for five years is ALSO p rough#like its such a paradox because yes jo was there for near four decades for masato when he didnt have to#but he was also the reason why he had to be there for masato yk what i mean. also Thats His Kid#hes not a step dad he's the dad that came back with the milk ykwim#I THINK credit should be accredited when its due like at least he was ready to sacrifice the rest of his life to make up for his mistake#and its not like he thinks he'll ever be forgiven by. Whatever Entity decrees someone is forgiven or not#so its not like he'd even call himself a good dad ☠️☠️#so yk what. im gonna put him in the Ironically A Solid Dad corner#at least until rgg gives me the househusband special where jo gotta babysit masato for a day... yeah id pay for that#most of these tags are about jo what the fuck else is new. he stimulates my brain leave me alone#i dont wanna talk about kiryu being a dad i already know there's a sniper light on the back of my head#my point is rgg is gooddadphobic
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had a star wars themed dream. anyway
feemor getting a birthday cake from a smug crime boss 🤝 surana having some parents of a force-sensitive kid refuse to believe he is not a jedi and try to pawn their kid off on him 🤝 the temple guards having a mando who says their name is revan turn up to the front door
‘was not prepared to deal with this shit today’
#the crime boss was flaunting how she had the jedis guaest auarters on her planet bugged. also he came in 6th in a fencing tournament#which is damn good considering he way trying not to give himself away as a jedi during the festivities.#the second two are actually intertwined bc surana is working themself into a state over having taia and is already trying to figure out#how to get her to actual jedi in accordance with the familys wishes and evi is just like.well if theyre in danger lets just get the parents#also and take all of them to the temple so they can see it for themselves and make an informed decision and they wont be our problem#anyway also an old sith saber fell into feemors possession during this mission and heis having to babysit that until he can get it back to#the temple where it can be put in a vault lined with the equivalent of force-lead#i like when my dreams organically give me an update on what my ocs are doing. its like a postcard
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I still think about that spoofy comic where Pasha got turned into a child and everyone in Rykov family was babysitting him (mostly Yana and, ironically, Balor, who was constantly complaining about it). And there is this one moment that makes me wheeze, where it is Balor’s turn to take care of Pasha and Yana tells him not to make his sleepy time a trippy nightmare to which Balor defeatedly replies that it’s gonna be the most boring night of his life.
#it's just basically how their married life looks like aggshdjdk#now I can't help but imagine them as parents#with a girl named Eithne. something tells me that despite his dislike of kids in this comic he would still turn out to be a good father#mostly because such behaviour of his is mostly a facade#even though there is an implication that Balor doesn't like babysitting but neither does Yana and yet they still do it#in fact Balor is better than Alexei/Pes who almost let little Pasha kill himself by putting a fork into power socket#and that's ironic because we know that Balor greatly dislikes Pasha and is disgusted by his child version#and yet he holds on to his promise and makes his dreams normal and peaceful and not his trademark scary shit#demonslayer#бесобой#bubble comics
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i read the cutest reddit thread today where this 19 yo boy was “babysitting” his 15 yo little sister while his parents were away on vacation and she got this horrific period and needed to be taken to the ER.
and this sweet 19 yo boy was doing all he could to take care of her, giving her meds and water and then packing stuff up to go to the hospital once reddit was like “yeah if she’s soaking two tampons in an hour you should go” - but being only a little older than a child himself, he didn’t know what to pack, so he brought like three things, and one of them was SUNSCREEN.
lmao everyone on reddit was like “you’re a really good brother but sunscreen?? for the hospital??” lmao they are roasting him. also op’s sister changed his name in her phone to “spf” and their dad calls him “bananaboat” now. this guy is never living this down
(also his sister is ok and it turns out their family has some kind of genetic blood disorder)
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it's so fucked up how I want to buy so much fandom related stuff and clothes and I have like. 30 euros to my name and need to save up for Christmas
#guy when his own saving goals that he set up for himself are unrealistic as fuck.#I need to start babysitting I alr have a degree in it why do I never start#yelenaposts#mis mierdas
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I need you

Synopsis: Choso needs to fuck you despite the fact that you are Yuuji's babysitter.
Warnings: Desperate sex, rough sex
Visual link: xxxxx
Choso thinks you are an angel.
Honestly.
He marvels at how you always help his family out by babysitting his little brother Yuji, even if it's late at night. Your kindness shines through in every action, and he can't help but notice how your eyes glow like an angel's, your skin seems so soft, and your voice carries a soothing, gentle tone. It's not just what you do; it's the way you do it, with such grace and beauty, that makes him believe you truly are a blessing to his family.
So that is why he must do this.
His touches are relentless, drawing you into his room the moment Yuuji is asleep. You can barely even get a word in before his bigger hands are under your shirt, exploring the warmth of your skin, a desperate longing evident in each caress. You want to tell him to slow down, to truly connect beyond the frantic urgency. But your words dissolve into breathless whispers as you meet his dark tired eyes that are practically begging for you, begging to be with you, begging to feel you.
"I like kissing you." He murmurs against your lips. "I like you. I like you so much, you are so pretty. I like and love you."
You let yourself fall into his touch and Choso captures your mouth with his, a deep, enveloping kiss that makes you moan and whine for more. As he gently removes your tank top and shorts, leaving you in your bra and underwear and he devotes attention to every inch of your skin, delivering tender nips, soft sucks, and gentle bites.
"Perfect." He mumbles under his breath, burying his nose into the crook of your neck to pepper the delicate skin with soft kisses. "Fuck, you are so perfect, baby."
Your mind grows fuzzy at his words and you let out a sharp gasp when you feel him pull the hem of your underwear down your legs.
"Jump," he commands softly, his voice a low rumble that reverberates through you. Without hesitation, you leap up and in one fluid motion, he lifts you up. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, securing you against him as he presses you against the wall. Your fingers find their way into his black hair tied up in buns long, tugging gently at the strands, anchoring yourself to him as his kisses deepen. You don't even notice that he has lowered his pants until you feel the hard pressure against your tight hole, making you instinctively squirm away.
"Stay still f'me ok baby?" Choso groans, peppering kisses along your jaw while he aligns himself with you. Without warning, he thrusts into you, the sudden friction and collision with your G-spot knocking the wind out of your lungs. It's as if every fiber of your being is tuned to this moment, each caress and sensation amplifying the pleasure that surges through you. You feel a soft shiver start at the base of your spine, traveling upward, making your skin tingle with exquisite delight. Ticklish pleasure courses through your veins and you immediately throw your head back against the wall as Choso thrusts into you.
"Hnghh, s-so good~~" You whine. It was dizzying, the grith of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, the euphoria of him fitting snuggly against walls with every thrust. The friction is incredible and it made pain quickly turn into pleasure. The tightness of your cunt has Choso gasping for breath, the grip on your hips almost bruising as he tries to keep himself from spilling inside of you right here and now.
"I can feel you baby, sh-shit, I can feel you doing it to me." Choso is not a whining man but here he is falling apart at the warmth of your cunt. God you were heaven, he thinks he would be eternally happy if he could just spend all his time inside of you, feeling you squeeze around him, smelling the intoxicating scent of your shampoo. He uses you like his personal cock sleeve, thrusting up into your warm cunt with such vigor that it shapes your insides and bruises your cervix until your entire body jolts with sensitivity.
For a moment, he slows down, leaning down to the space between you and letting a glob of thick spit drop onto your clit. He moves side to side, opening up your folds and rubbing your clit. You cry from the pleasure and Choso's Adam apple bobs as he groans as well.
He's close, and he knows you are too.
He is glaring at you with hooded eyes, watching the expressions of pleasure you make intently. Choso is caught in some sort of trance, like even though he is fucking you, he is powerless to you.
Your mind begins to drift, losing itself in the intensity of the experience of Choso fucking you. Time seems to blur, and the world around you fades, leaving only the profound connection between you and the pleasure you're immersed in. Each moment stretches and deepens, and you're carried away by the ebb and flow of sensations. Your body responds instinctively, arching off the wall and lifting your hips to meet Choso's thrusts, seeking more, craving the next wave of ecstasy. The pleasure builds and builds, a crescendo that fills you to the brim. It's a symphony of sensation, a dance of pure, unadulterated joy that leaves you breathless and yearning.
And then, in a glorious, breathtaking instant, it peaks. The world seems to explode in a kaleidoscope of bliss, and you are utterly consumed by it. Your heart races, your breath catches, and for a moment, you are weightless, suspended in a universe of pure pleasure.
Luckily for you, Choso is right there with you. His mind dips into a ocean of pleasure and before he can put a stop to it, he is spilling load upon loads of himself in you.
Damn it, he should've done this sooner.
#jjk smut#choso x reader#choso smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk links#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen headcanons
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