#( also can you believe all of her friends are fucking dead wow )
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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 4 months ago
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i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately
#art#i'll be yapping in the tags#its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually#ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear#“oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic#in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that#but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess#we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen#i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live#but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean#the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet#it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before#i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs#the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze#now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit)#but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of#im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it#because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment#i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes#i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then#i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead.#perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it#perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills#and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain#perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing#one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck#but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane#next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century#thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye#i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft
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urdreamgirls-dreamgirl · 2 years ago
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i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this.
kiss me once ‘cause you know i had a long night, kiss me twice ‘cause it’s gonna be all right, three times ‘cause i’ve waited my whole life
Steve’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He’s technically not supposed to have it on the floor, but it’s 9:30 on a Wednesday night and the store’s dead anyway.
Eddie 🎸👎: date’s a dud engage emergency protocol immediately 🚨🚨🚨
Steve rolls his eyes and clicks the little phone icon near Eddie’s name.
“Hello?” Eddie manages to sound both confused and concerned.
“Help, help,” Steve deadpans, leaning his elbows on the counter. “I’m having an emergency that only you can help me with.” Steve’s done this enough times in the three years they’ve lived together to know that Eddie can think up his own lie to tell his date.
“Oh my god, I’ll be right there, Steve.”
Steve’s not sure how Eddie manages to make it sound so convincing every time, but it’s enough that even Steve might start to believe it if he wasn’t the one calling.
Eddie hangs up without saying goodbye, probably to tell his date some exaggerated story about how Steve’s fallen in the shower or fell off a ladder. Somehow, all Eddie’s emergency scenarios involve Steve hurting himself in increasingly embarrassing ways.
By the time Steve’s got the store tidied and closed and walked the four blocks to their apartment, Robin and Eddie are already on the couch in the living room. Steve can hear them bickering over what to watch from the front hallway as he slips off his shoes and shrugs out of his jacket. He follows the sound of their voices to find them practically wrestling over the remote.
“Jesus, can’t leave you two alone for more than five minutes. You’re worse than the kids,” Steve says as he makes his way across the room and into the kitchen for a bag of chips. It wasn’t the healthiest dinner, but he was too exhausted to cook.
“There’s leftovers from the diner in the fridge,” Eddie calls out to him, not even missing a beat as he pries the remote from Robin’s white-knuckled grip.
“You took leftovers on a first date?” Robin asks him, appalled, as if it’s the most unheard of thing Eddie’s ever said.
Steve’s popping the styrofoam container into their tiny microwave as Eddie tells her, “It was a second date for your information.” He puts on an episode of Ghost Adventures without asking anyone’s input.
“Wow, someone made it past your rigorous first date interview? Shocker.” Robin crosses her arms and huffs in annoyance, because she was also going to put on Ghost Adventures but it’s the principle of the thing. You just don’t take a woman’s remote from her, under any circumstance.
“Hey, it’s imperative for me to suss out a potential partner’s commitment to the music gods,” Eddie says.
“‘Potential partners’?” Robin scoffs. “I thought you said you were in your slut era?”
“Well,” Eddie seems to lose his footing here. “I am. But I can’t be fucking anyone who listens to Tame Impala.”
“Steve listens to Tame Impala.”
Steve has made it back into the living room in time to see the blush rise on Eddie’s cheeks.
“Good thing I’m not fucking Steve then, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, good thing.” Even Steve can hear the eye roll in Robin’s voice.
Because the thing was…
Okay, so the thing is…
The long and short of it is that they’re not fucking.
But they’re also, like. Not not fucking.
It’s just that sometimes, after a horrible date or a stressful day or even just when they’re feeling incredibly horny, the apartment can feel kind of lonely, even with two roommates. So. They… do stuff. Together. No penetration, but. Yeah. Enough for it to be called ‘fucking,’ probably. At least Steve thinks so.
But they haven’t told Robin. They’re both pretty sure she suspects. She’s not a fucking idiot and Steve thinks someone living under the same roof as Steve and Eddie would have to be in order to be that oblivious. Steve’s pretty sure she’s been trying to get one or the other of them to confess, but they’ve held strong so far. It’s not that they were hiding it, exactly. It was just that, whenever this thing inevitably came to an end or imploded on them both, they didn’t want to have to explain it to anyone. At least that was what Steve was thinking, because it’s not like they actually talk about it.
Neither of them say anything else, so Steve makes an attempt to change the subject.
“So what did you tell your date this time?” He asks Eddie before shoveling a forkful of reheated pasta into his own mouth.
Eddie smirks. “I told him you cut off the tip of your finger with your crafting scissors while you were scrapbooking and then passed out from the sight of the blood and hit your head on the corner of the coffee table.”
Steve pauses with his fork halfway between the takeout container and his mouth.
“I thought these emergencies were supposed to be believable.”
“I’ve literally walked in on you scrapbooking multiple times, Stevie,” Eddie says it like he’s stating the obvious.
“I could never cut through my fingers with my crafting scissors.”
“Oh, that’s what you take issue with about that lame-ass scenario?” Robin scoffs again.
“There’s nothing wrong with scrapbooking,” Steve says defensively.
“Didn’t say there was,” Robin mutters, turning her attention back to the TV. “Can you guys shut up now? I’m trying to watch my stories.”
Steve rolls his eyes and shares a look with Eddie before doing as Robin says and shutting the fuck up. He drops down into the lone armchair to finish his leftover diner food, attention fixed on the television. He thinks he can feel it every time Eddie’s eyes dart over to look at him.
~*~
Later, after Eddie’s snuck into his bed around one a.m. and they’re laying there next to each other in the afterglow, Steve asks, “So the date really sucked?”
Eddie sighs. “I mean, he was nice and all, but there just wasn’t any, like… chemistry or whatever. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” Steve responds, his voice low. Steve hadn’t been on a date in months, hadn’t felt the usual impulse to flirt with strangers incessantly. Robin kept saying he was in a lull or a slump or something, but Steve does start to feel lonely sometimes, especially when Robin is out with her girlfriend and Eddie has a date and he’s left to his own devices in their shared apartment. Even though, more often than not lately, Eddie’s dates almost always end in “emergency protocol” and the two of them wind up tangled in Steve’s sheets. Steve can’t help but think that it’s only a matter of time before all of this comes to an end, before Eddie finds someone who’s perfect for him.
Someone who isn’t Steve.
~*~
Three days later, Steve and Eddie wake up to the blaring honk of Steve’s alarm, wrapped around each other. Steve can’t help but notice the way Eddie looks when he’s just woken up, soft and rumpled, hair a tangled mess on top of his head.
“Ugh, make it stop,” Eddie groans, scrubbing a hand down his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Steve slams his hand down on his alarm clock and flops back onto his pillows, even though he really should be getting up for work. He wraps a hand around the back of Eddie’s neck before dropping a kiss to his forehead and pulling him back to lie against his chest.
“Don’t wanna get up yet,” Steve mutters, eyes falling shut again. The blankets are warm and soft and the weight of Eddie on his chest is enough to have him drifting back into sleep.
Eddie doesn’t let him though. Instead, he plants his palm on Steve’s chest and pushes himself upright, making Steve groan in dissatisfaction.
“Gotta get up, dude,” Eddie tells him, yawning and climbing out from under the covers to pull on his discarded sleep pants. “Got, like, seven engines to fix today. Something about spring, man, everyone’s car starts to break down.” Eddie pulls his t-shirt over his head before opening Steve’s door and sticking his head out, making sure the coast is clear.
Eddie leaves the door slightly open and crosses back to Steve’s bed, planting a kiss on Steve’s cheek, like he just can’t help himself.
“Won’t get off until late and then I have a date, so keep your phone at the ready,” Eddie smiles when he says it and Steve wants to trace his dimples with his tongue.
“Coming home first?”
“Nah, just gonna shower at the gym next door,” Eddie stretches. “See ya later, Stevie.” And then he’s out the door and slipping quickly into his own room down the hall.
Steve doesn’t like the way Eddie’s bedroom door sounds as it clicks shut.
~*~
Steve has the early shift at the store, so when he gets home in the late afternoon with two bags of groceries, he’s got the apartment to himself. Robin’s spending her weekend off with Vickie and Eddie’s still at work before heading off to his date.
Steve puts his groceries away, makes himself an early dinner, and then positions himself in front of the TV. He puts his phone face up on the coffee table, so he’ll see it when Eddie texts him to get out of his date.
He gets lost in the Real Housewives of Wherever for hours before he remembers he’s supposed to be keeping an eye on his phone. He taps the screen and sees there are no notifications. That’s weird. It’s already well past nine; Eddie usually texts by now for a rescue.
Steve sits back on the couch, eyes on his phone where it sits on the coffee table in front of him. He watches it for a few long moments, willing it to ring.
It doesn’t.
~*~
Hours later, Steve wakes up to the front door slamming shut. His face feels plastered to the leather of their second-hand couch. He knows it’s Eddie coming through the door because he’s the only one of them that lets it slam when it closes.
Steve reaches for his phone, still on the coffee table where he’s left it. He taps the screen and sees that it’s already after two in the morning. Eddie comes into the living room and seems surprised to see him on the couch.
“You’re still up?” He asks, eyebrows pulling together.
“You didn’t call,” Steve tries to make it sound casual, but even he hears the accusation in his own voice.
“Uh yeah. No. He was, uh. Kinda cool, actually,” Eddie smiles to himself and it looks so soft and sweet in the dim light of TV. Steve feels his chest go hollow seeing it. He swallows.
“Well,” Steve clears his throat. “That’s great.”
“Wanna hang out?” Eddie asks. Steve’s not sure if he means hang out or hang out, but either way, Steve can’t bring himself to say yes.
“Nah.” He yawns. “Early shift tomorrow.” It’s a lie, but who can blame him?
Steve gets up off the couch and crosses the room before Eddie can say anything.
“Oh, sure,” Eddie mutters as Steve brushes past him on his way into the hallway. “Goodnight, Stevie.”
Steve feels his throat constrict, like he might cry if Eddie says anything else. He clears his throat again. “‘Night,” he returns, before he shuts his bedroom door behind him.
~*~
Steve stews in it for a couple of days. He’s annoyed and grumpy and even Robin starts avoiding him after he snaps at her one too many times for no reason. He’s avoiding Eddie, but he suspects that Eddie is also avoiding him.
Which is absurd. It’s not like Steve changed the rules. He’s not the one who changed their routine. Who went on a date with someone else and enjoyed it.
That thought gives Steve pause because that’s not what this is, is it? He’s aware that he’s not very good at keeping his emotions out of his sex life. He knows he gets too attached too soon. But Eddie is his friend. You’re supposed to have emotions for your friends. You’re supposed to hate everyone they date. You’re supposed to want to spend all your time with them. Right?
Fuck. Fuck. Steve is maybe out of his depth here.
By Tuesday night, he has no choice but to go to Robin.
“I fucked up,” he says without preamble, walking into her room without knocking and flopping face first onto her unmade bed. She just watches him from where she sits at her desk in front of her laptop. Eddie has a late night band practice after work, so they’ve got the place to themselves.
“Yeah, how?” She asks.
“I… am not sure. But I feel bad.” Steve is practically whining at this point.
“Can I tell you what I think without you getting mad at me?” Robin’s tone is cautious in a way that it hardly ever is with Steve.
“When do I ever get mad?” Steve scowls at her, the side of his face smooshed into her pillow so he can see her.
“Gee, I wonder.” Robin rolls her eyes. “You’ve been testy since Saturday, babe.”
Steve huffs but it’s not like he can deny it, exactly.
“Whatever, I’m in a bad mood,” he grumbles, picking at a thread on her comforter.
“Yeah, and why do you think that is?” Robin’s question sounds decidedly pointed.
“I dunno. Full moon or something. Something’s in retrograde, probably.”
Robin sighs. “Look, I’m going to say something to you and I want you to just listen and synthesize the information, okay? Just shut up.” Steve grunts and Robin clearly takes that for assent. “I think that you’re in love with Eddie.”
She says it so matter-of-factly that Steve sits straight up on her bed so he can look at her fully. His eyes dart to her open door. “What?” He practically spits out.
Robin rolls her eyes again. “Yeah, whatever. I know I’m not supposed to know about the… whatever you want to call it. But you guys aren’t exactly subtle. Or quiet.” Steve’s jaw falls open. “I know you’ve been fooling around for months. And you haven’t had to figure out your feelings for each other because you haven’t been dating at all and every date Eddie’s been on he’s sabotaged himself. And now he’s had a great date and you’re feeling threatened, obviously. You’re jealous, Steve.”
Steve just looks at her for a moment, before saying, “I actually hate you so much.” He looks back over toward her open door. “Did he say it was a great date?”
“Ugh, you’re pathetic.” Robin balls up a piece of paper and throws it at him, before turning serious. “Just tell him, Stevie. I’m pretty sure he’s into you just as much as you’re into him. You should see the way he stares at your ass when he thinks no one’s looking. It’s truly disgusting.”
Steve throws the ball of paper back at Robin, hitting her squarely in her forehead.
~*~
Steve locks himself in his room for the rest of the night, obsessing over what Robin has told him. He tosses and turns all night thinking about it. He’s vaguely aware of the door slamming as Eddie comes in from band practice around midnight and he thinks that maybe Eddie might linger just a little longer outside Steve’s door, but he doesn’t knock. Just pauses before he moves on to his own room.
Steve wakes up late the next morning. He has to rush through his morning routine and by the time he makes it to the kitchen for breakfast, both Robin and Eddie have left for the day. Luckily, Steve has a midday shift, so he has a bit of time before he has to leave for the store. He leans against the counter, spooning cereal into his mouth. As he places his dirty bowl and spoon in the sink to clean after work, his eyes get caught on the whiteboard they have hanging on the fridge.
Second date tonight, keep phone handy -E
Steve feels his heart start beating fast, almost erratically. His fingertips go numb. He licks his lips and leaves the kitchen, slipping on his shoes and jacket and leaving for work.
~*~
Steve comes home to an empty apartment. Robin has some study group and Eddie has his date. Steve can’t help but feel a little depressed as he walks through the door to nothing but quiet.
He makes himself dinner. He puts something on the television. He places his phone face-up on the coffee table, just in case.
It doesn’t light up with a notification until well after nine. It’s a phone call. From Eddie.
Steve fumbles his phone as he lunges to pick it up.
“Hey,” he says into his phone’s speaker. “Thought you had a date.”
“Yeah,” Steve can tell Eddie’s smiling, even though he can’t see him. “Was wondering if you had some kind of emergency to tell me about?”
“Um.” Steve is confused. This isn’t the normal script. He’s supposed to call Eddie. Not the other way around. “I don’t. Know? I mean. Yeah. I… need you?”
“On my way, Stevie.” And then he hangs up.
~*~
Steve’s paused the TV and is sitting on the living room couch in silence by the time he hears the door slam shut. He looks up as Eddie walks into the room.
“Hey,” Eddie greets him, voice low. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah, been… busy.” Steve inwardly cringes at how he sounds, knows it’s a lame excuse, because Eddie knows him. He knows why he hasn’t seen Steve.
“Right,” Eddie smirks. “So… can we talk?”
“Sure, whatever.” Steve tries to sound casual, thinks he misses it by about a mile.
Eddie sits in the armchair instead of next to Steve on the couch. Steve tries not to take it as an insult.
“I was on a really good date tonight, Stevie,” Eddie tells him, voice soft and slow, like he’s breaking bad news to Steve. Steve’s heart clenches in chest, hard and painful. He nods, eyes on everything but Eddie. “He was cool and funny and actually had good taste in music.” Steve’s not exactly sure he really needs to hear this. “But…”
Steve feels a small flutter of hope in the pit of his stomach. “But?” He prompts, still not looking at Eddie.
“But.” Steve can tell from his tone that Eddie’s smiling again, that same smile he’d heard on the phone. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About sitting here watching dumb reality shows with your arm around me. Waiting for your call even though I hadn’t texted you.”
Steve’s eyes snap to Eddie’s. He licks his lips. “What.” He doesn’t say it like a question.
“I wanted to be with you, Stevie. Always wanna be with you.” Eddie looks nervous now. He pulls at a rip in his jeans. “Do you… what do you think about that?”
“I, uh.” Steve’s mouth is suddenly dry, voice just a little hoarse. “I think it’s… good.”
“Good?” Eddie snorts. “You think it’s good? Gonna need a little more here, Steve.” Eddie still looks a little nervous, but his smile is starting to form again.
“Yeah, like. Really good.” Steve licks his lips again. “I always wanna be with you, too,” he adds softly.
“Yeah?” Eddie asks, and he sounds vulnerable in a way that Steve’s never really heard before. He’s fully smiling again, small and soft, like maybe he can’t believe his luck.
Steve smiles back at him. “Yeah.”
And then they don’t say anything at all. Eddie crosses the small space between them and tackles Steve back against the couch. Their lips meet, soft at first. Then Steve let’s out a moan, opens his mouth under Eddie’s and the kisses turn decidedly less soft and more horny.
~*~
The next morning, Steve’s phone dings on his bedside table. He reaches over to read the screen.
Queen Robbie✨💕: love that u guys have figured ur shit out, but can we work out a system or something? i heard u [redacted] and then [redacted] and also [redacted]
Steve smiles before dropping his phone back on his bedside table and turning over in his bed. He pulls a sleeping Eddie into his arms and drops a tiny kiss to the back of Eddie’s neck. Eddie lets out a sleepy little moan. Steve could get used to waking up like this every morning.
———
An anonymous benefactor gifted me with lyrics from “Paper Rings” and here is what I’ve done with them.
Just two things: 1. I have never seen Ghost Adventures, but I imagine it would be one of the only shows both Robin and Eddie could agree on and 2. I have never listened to Tame Impala, I know nothing abt the music (beyond the fact that it’s just one guy??? see, I am hip and cool, gen z), so this is not intentional slander, I promise!!! It’s just the first thing I thought of.
Oh ETA: I also know nothing abt cars or what mechanics do, I assume they sometimes fix engines.
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allamericansbitch · 7 months ago
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since y'all seemed to want this.... here's the live notes i took while listening to each song for the first time (bold are thoughts i had during later listens)
fortnight: 
‘i was a functioning alcohol till nobody noticed my new aesthetic’ what the fuck does that even mean…
love the fact she gave post the female collab treatment. don’t wanna hear what he has to say. 
they’re voices sound actually good together? 
some pockets of the melody are catchy
okay i don’t hate this 
ttpd:
her red flags are on fire in this song lol
this seems very half-cooked
also jacks weird mixing continues to plague us all
CHARLIE PUTH???? WHAT THE FUCK WHY HE HERE
tattooed golden retriever??? ……no way
my boy breaks all his favorite toys:
i blinked and it’s half over
this also is like… half cooked and didn’t need to be released tbh
i love the way she sings the second verse tho
down and:
the production does not match the vibe
did tpain produce this
i’m… kinda bored lol
like i have nothing to say this also didn’t need to be released tbh 
this grew on me a lot actually
so long london 
the production is so futuristic? 
oh im obsessed with how she sounds on this one
her talk-singing in the verses is great
honest lyrics without any clunky unnecessary metaphors! a win!!
the fast-paced verses with th slow chorus is really really cool
a favorite so far
daddy i love him
i can barely hear her? the bad mixing continues 
‘growing up precociously sometimes means not growing up at all’ oh yeah WE KNOW
is this…… is this about her dating matty and loving how people hate him… no fucking way she’s this stupid
SHE IS BEING THIS STUPID
‘it’s white noise’ yeah yeah that’s exactly how id describe him  
.... anyway y'all remember when fans really believed the little mermaid theory and this song was supposed to be about how 'joe stole her voice' lmaooo
we will pretend this one doesn't exist!
fresh out the slammer
are we getting another ‘i didn’t cheat technically’ song lol
what is this weird tempo change….
okay kinda catchy
it’s sounds exactly like you are in love at the end….. jack is really out of tricks
florida
‘my friends all smell like weed or little babies’ what the fuck is she even talking about anymore 
i’m sorry but i’m laughing at the phrase ‘fuck me up florida’
again the production sounds so detached from the vocals 
i honestly still have no idea how i feel about this one
guilt as sin
an real instrument?? wow crazy 
okay she’s kinda cute? catchy and fun, love the melody
i love when she goes up at the end of the vocal 
okay…. i don’t mind this one she’s catchy, a little too long and drawn out but cute
who’s afraid of little old me?
what is this production? it’s way too soft to be as threatening as they’re trying for 
why did jack push her vocals back so far when she’s supposed to scream…. that’s ruins the whole thing…. she’s supposed to be screaming and threatening….. not quiet and far away…. hello
this song is trying very hard to be threatening but it’s not... vigilante shit 2.0
‘you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum they raised me’…………… upper middle-class pennsylvania? 
‘i’m drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all say, that’ll  sue you if you step on my lawn’ okay bar?
the bridge was good but that’s about it.
i can fix him 
…………… not another matty song oh god
‘i can handle a dangerous man’…… im too stunned to speak this is so embarrassing 
wow taylor really is that girl who like ‘women supporting women’ and then dates/defends a racist bf…. a walking example of white feminism
intersectional feminism found dead.... twice....
loml
okay this is really nice? 
I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE SONG WHY DID SHE RUIN IT BY SAYING ‘MR STEAL YOUR GIRL’ 💀
if we ignore that one line we're good this is good. im refusing to let that line ruin such a good song
i can do it with a broken heart
‘bitch smile’ why are there so many cringey lyrics on this album lol
what is this song omg why do i kind of like it 
taylor please learn depressed isn’t a synonym for sad 
they recycled the mastermind production 
wait till taylor finds out most of the entire world is sad while they're doing their job and has to pretend they're not
smallest man who ever lived 
oh i think i like this?
‘you said normal girls were boring’ GIRL AND YOU DIDNT IMMEDIATELY GET UP AND LEAVE??? EWWWW??? she's not beating the pick-me allegations
'i just wanna know if rusting my sparking summer was the goal' okay love that line
i like this a lot
the alchemy
no….. no way this is real
i cannot
THE SPORTS METAPHORS WE JOKED SHED DO THAT AND SHE ACTUALLY DID IT OH NO 
touchdown ✅ teams ✅ benches ✅ winning streak ✅ the league ✅
she’s doing…… the worst thing ever this is so laughable 
the corny lyrics are on overload 
‘this time it’s heroine with an e’ didn’t she write folklore? i can’t remember 
that literally was an snl parody of a taylor song
clara bow
love how the guitar sounds… bet money this is an aaron track 
a stevie nicks reference!! a win!!!
i like this one a lot no cringey lyrics yet
nope never mind she name-dropped herself don’t like that
overall really liked it tho
the black dog
i think i like it?? this is kind of what i expected the album to be
okay for once the weird production choices kind of pay off
imgonnagetyouback
kinda catchy? 
she loves a fancy car getting wrecked line
the pre-choruses are the best part 
this would’ve been better without the jack of it all bc he loves a song that doesnt build to anything
this just comes down to personal preference: i don’t like her lighter vocals with jack’s heavy production (ie most of lover lol)
the albatross
a real instrument!!! production that matches taylor’s voice and is well mixed!!! aaron’s arrived!! 
i think it’s solid, has good writing and she sounds great. that's about it.
chloe or sam or…
took me a solid minute to have any semblance of a fuck to know what was going on but okay
okay i love this one
wayyyy more emotive than like… most of the original album
a lot of the 2nd version (or whatever this is lol) are way more emotive, maybe because her voice isnt drenched in reverb so we can actually hear her voice emote better
how did it end
this sounds like an old school adele song? 
i love this one too…. 
her being upset people wanna know what happened but then also feeding it while promoting the album oop 
i love the story of this one it's so refreshing
so high school
THE PRODUCTION is so good ugh aaron never fails 
the man here is a walking red flag girl and the lyrics are ~not it~ but the production is too pretty to hate it
fuck these lyrics are so bad lol
maybe if i disassociate hard enough i can ignore the lyrics and just listen to the production and vibe
give me a karaoke version of this song and we'd be so back
i hate it here
i mentioned disassociation and she made a whole song about it!!!! this one’s mine!!!! 
‘without all the racists’ GIRL HUH
WHAT WAS THE REASON
also... girl don’t act like we don’t know you’re fine with that lololololol
if i had a dime for every time i was liking a song to then have it slapped away because of a bad, out-of-pocket lyric…… 
thank you aimee
this isn’t grabbing my attention 
oh the bridge is interesting 
it’s meh 
i will never be thanking the people that bullied me thanks tho
i look in peoples windows 
what do you mean aaron didn’t produce this??? it’s well-made and has instruments? 
i love this one, again a really interesting and unique concept that's very refreshing to hear at this point when a lot of the songs feel repetitive
the prophecy
aaron guitar!!!! 
she’s nice i like her 
i've really grown to love how she sings this one, the melodies are cool.. however i feel like we've heard the same melody.. like on this exact album... where she upturns at the end of every line...
cassandra 
this seems very…. familiar… idk i feel like we’ve covered this (i mean there are 31 songs we’ve already covered everything lol)
this is such an aaron song, that's a classic 'the national' piano
i like her voice in this one tho, sounds good
peter
oh love i love this
now this? THIS feels the most like a taylor swift song
once again she’s at her best with a simple instrument and emotive simple lyrics
the piano reminds me of champagne problems
the bolter 
i like this! the chorus is so cute
oh i like that ending line a lot!
she’s cute, a little long and drawn out but cute
robin
i haven’t seen anyone talk about this one
welp…. i literally have no feelings toward this one but sounds pretty! 
the manuscript
oh this is soooooooo powerful 
i love this concept 
her ending the album on another introspective album that sums everything up a la dear reader yep yep!!
if you actually read of this ily 💗
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bloodibambiidoll · 1 year ago
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Purple Houses and Paranorman
(Single!Dad Eddie Munson x Single!Mom Reader)
Summary: Eddie asks you and Oliver to go to a special screening of Paranorman with him and Charlotte. WK: 3.9K
Series Masterlist My Masterlist
Warnings: Basically none, modern AU, mention of a dead family member (readers aunt), There’s like one second where Eddie is checking reader out and his thoughts get a little carried away, readers son has a speech delay, reader is implied to be alternative and have tattoos but I don’t talk about it much besides her outfits, fluff fluff and moreee fluff. But as always my blog is 18+MNDI
A/N: So I might have gotten a tiny bit carried away talking about the house, it wasn’t something I originally planned out but it kind of just came to me as I was writing, I’d like for them to all live there together eventually. I’m trying to make it a lil slow burn but I suck at that so hard so we will see how much longer I can go without making them kiss LOL. Also I said these were blurbs and this is almost 4K sooo Oopsie. As always my requests for these guys are open and feedback is greatly appreciated.💜💚
Your phone vibrated and the screen lit up, the contact reading “Eddie🎸🦇” you smiled to yourself before pushing the green accept button.
“Helloooo Edward, what can I do for you on this fine autumn morning?”
“Hey weirdo” He let out a laugh, one you’ve grown to find comfort in over these last few weeks. “What are you and Oli up to today? The theater is doing a special showing of Paranorman and I was wondering if you guys would wanna go with us later?”
“What’s in it for me?” You joked.
“Ummm you get to spend time with your bestfriend and do something Halloween related, which I know you love.”
“Bold of you to assume you’re my bestfriend.” You laughed, knowing he definitely had become the best friend you have but still wanting to fuck with him a little.
“Me? I’m talking about Charlotte, you are her new self proclaimed bestfriend and also you do her hair better than me, apparently. Can’t believe my own daughter likes you more than me.” He sighed dramatically and you could practically see him faux fainting.
“Awww I love her, she’s my new bestfriend too. Verdict is still out on her dad though.”
“WOW I can’t believe you would betray me like this, I thought you loved me.”
“Don’t worry, you’re better at playing monster than me apparently sooo I think we are even. What time do you want to go?”
“I guess we can call it even, for now. How about around two? Gives us a few hours to get the goblins fed and ready to go.”
Jokingly teasing each other had become the norm for you and Eddie, easily falling into flirty banter since the day you met.
“Okay, perfect.”
“Want to meet us there? Or I can come get you guys and we can ride together.”
Something you had noticed about Eddie is how perceptive he was. He picked up early on that you’d avoid going places you’d have to drive especially if you’d never been there before, which in those first few weeks was essentially everywhere. So he always offered to pick you and Oliver up whenever you all did something together.
“Could you pick us up? If that’s okay.”
“I wouldn’t have offered it if it wasn’t okay, babe.” Babe, was something he only started calling you recently but it made you giddy every time.
He was also constantly reassuring you that he didn’t mind helping you when you needed it. He knows how hard it is to do this alone so he was always offering to do anything to make things easier on you. Even if it was something as small as picking you and your son up for a movie. At first you declined his help every chance he offered, used to doing things alone, not wanting to burden him. But he’s told you over and over how he doesn’t mind, that it makes him happy to be able to help you.
So who could blame you if you had developed a not so small crush on him? You tried not to, but he was all kind gestures, big brown eyes and chunky jewelry. So how could you not? It’s not your fault it was like he was your dream come to life. You weren’t positive but you were pretty sure he felt the same. Hugs started lingering just a little longer than they should have, hands started brushing when you followed behind your rowdy children on evening walks, the cute little pet names he would always call you that made your stomach flip, the kisses on the cheek you had started giving each other.
So after you got Oli ready you gave him his tablet and spent a little extra time getting ready. You did your hair in your favorite style and added just a tiny bit more makeup than usual, both turned out perfect. But now you were standing in front of your open closet, staring at it like the perfect outfit was just going to jump out at you.
The October chill had set in throughout Hawkins, the days still sunny but the breeze cold, not quite bone chilling like in mid December, but cold enough that you needed some layers. You were also going to be sitting in a movie seat for two hours even if they were the reclining ones you didn’t want to spend that amount of time sitting in jeans.
After trying on several outfits, you ended up deciding on a black long sleeve skater dress, the neckline scooped just enough to make your boobs look nice. You layered some thigh high socks and leg warmers before pulling on your boots. You grabbed a plain zip-up just in case you got cold in the theater and gave yourself a once over in the mirror.
You couldn’t deny the fact that you looked good, and you hoped Eddie would think so too. He had never seen you this dolled up, usually wearing more comfortable clothes and simpler make-up.
You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach, a mixture of emotions going through you. Excitement to see Eddie was in the forefront, but the nervousness was lingering in the background. Are you reading things wrong? Is it smart to get involved with someone that your son has already started to form an attachment to? You took a deep breath, checking your hair one last time before shaking your head as if it would erase those feelings like an etch-a-sketch, willing yourself to enjoy something for once.
When you decided you were as ready as you’d ever be you got on Oliver’s shoes and jacket before grabbing your purse and taking him outside on the porch to wait on the swing. You smiled to yourself as you looked at the porch you spent many summers drinking lemonade with your aunt. The various wind chimes that hung moons and stars and zodiac symbols chime in the mid October breeze.
You loved this house, it belonged to your late aunt who left it to you in her will when she died. It was beautiful but eccentric, kind of like your aunt herself. It stuck out among the many suburban style houses in your neighborhood. It was a late 1800s Victorian style home, with beautiful arches and various types of windows, a wrap-around porch, and a beautiful backyard with a garden that your aunt cared for until the day she couldn’t anymore. You and Eddie had planted pumpkins back there with the kids in her honor, she’s the reason you love them so much after all. They were almost ready to be harvested and carved, a Halloween movie on in the background and the smell of pumpkin seeds baking in the oven.
But what really made the house stand out was that your aunt had it painted a deep purple color, the shutters and roof black, matching the porch. The door was black but it had a beautiful stained glass window in the middle of it, depicting the same kind of crescent moon and stars that dangled from the wind chimes. Inside there were four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living and family room that held a mixture of her old and your new furniture, and your favorite part, the kitchen. It had been updated since the house was built, but still held a vintage feel. Your aunt had the cabinets and drawers all painted the same purple as the outside of the house, wallpaper with those same moons and stars adorned the walls. The only modern thing about it being the fact that she had replaced all the appliances with shiny new ones.
It was a lot of space, too much for just you and Oliver. But you couldn’t bring yourself to sell it, some of your happiest memories were spent here. So you decided you’d take this opportunity and get the fresh start you’ve been needing. You didn’t have much keeping you back home anyways. You and your mom weren’t particularly close but when she found out your aunt left you everything, not just the house, but her money too, she was furious.
Now that you’ve settled you know it was the right choice. Oli started school and despite his struggles with communication he was thriving in class, you got a job at a local diner where you made pretty decent tips, you had this beautiful house, and last but not least you had Eddie and Charlotte.
A large smile stretched across Eddie’s face when he turned down your long driveway and saw you and your son sitting on the porch. He loves your house, he used to drive by it when he would deal to the rich kids in highschool and always admired it. But when you stood up his jaw actually dropped. He had never seen you in a dress before, you always looked beautiful but right now you were fucking radiant.
He got out of his SUV to help you get Oliver’s seat in and you were even more breathtaking up close.
“Wow. You look… wow.” Eddie shamelessly lets his eyes wander your form for a moment, his cheeks turning red when he reaches that little sliver of skin between your socks and your dress.
“Thanks, babe. You’re not so bad yourself, I guess.” You repeated his words from earlier back to him and he cackled.
“Ha ha veeerry funny, brat.” He stuck his tongue out at you.
“Reaaaal mature, nerd.”
“Hi Eddie!” Oli ran over to hug Eddie’s legs and smiled triumphantly, having recently gotten his new friend's name down.
“Hey little dude! How’s a going?” He gave your son a wide smile while he affectionately ruffled his hair.
“Where Char?” He tilted his head to the side, more concerned with where his friend was than answering Eddie’s question.
“She’s in the car buddy, you wanna to say hi to her while I get your seat in?”
He just nodded, grabbing your hand and dragging you around to the other side of the car where Charlotte was, knowing he’s not supposed to walk down the driveway without holding hands.
Eddie couldn’t help but watch you walk away, internally groaning when he saw that same sliver of skin from the back. The dress is long enough to cover your ass, but not by much and he can’t help but imagine flipping the skirt of it up and-
“Eddie? Are you gonna put the seat in the car or are you just gonna stand there and ogle me?”
You couldn’t help but tease him when you turned around and he was just standing there holding the car seat with his mouth hanging open.
“Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah- yeah sorry.” His face turned beat red and he turned his back to put the seat in to try and hide it, but you saw it. At least you know he thinks you look cute, mission accomplished.
Once the kids were all buckled and ready to go you got in the passenger seat and flashed him a smile. He turned towards you and reached under your seat, his leather jacket covered arm going across your thighs where your dress rode up. You tried to act like your heart wasn’t beating a thousand miles a minute whenever you were this close to him, hopefully succeeding.
But Eddie caught the tiniest little squeak that came out of the back of your throat when he first touched you. Feeling satisfied with himself that he had any kind of affect on you because you made him feel like he was in highschool with a crush on a girl he didn’t have a chance with. But you were constantly showing him that maybe he did have a chance with you.
He pulled a bag from under your seat, plopping it in your lap.
“Me and the princess stopped at the dollar store and got your guys’ favorite candy. I figured since the movie theater candy is like crazy expensive we could get the candy before and get popcorn and drinks at the theater.” He said it so casually, like it wasn’t a big deal that he remembered you and your son’s favorite treats. But to you, it was. Every single time you saw him he gave you another reason to fall for him.
“Wow, thank you Eds. That’s really thoughtful of you.” You smiled at him sweetly, the kind of smile that made him feel like he was going to melt into a puddle in the driver's seat.
“Of course Darlin’ anything for my favorite dude and my favorite girl.” He smiled back at you, the kind of smile that reminds you of sunshine that you wanted to bottle up for a rainy day.
He put the car in reverse and of course he had to put his hand on the headrest of the passenger seat while he pulled out. You just wanted to tilt your head up and kiss his wrist where his jacket rode up. You wanted to be close to him so badly, you’ve been trying to find the courage to ask him to hang out, just the two of you but you keep psyching yourself out. You didn’t have anyone to watch Oli anyways and if he wanted that he never hinted at it. Always suggesting things for you to do with the kids. Which you love, having someone think of both of you the way Eddie does is something you’ve never really had. But what you wouldn’t give for just a few hours alone with him, no kids, just being yourselves. But maybe he didn’t want that?
Eddie glanced over at you as he turned onto your street, you were staring out the window, chewing your lip that way you always did when you were thinking hard about something. Usually something that was upsetting you, so he did what any good friend would do and reached across the center counsel to grab your hand.
You whipped your head around at the feeling of his larger hand engulfing yours.
“You okay?” He ran his thumb over the top of it before intertwining your fingers. He had never held your hand before, and you felt your insides grow warm at the feeling. His palm was surprisingly soft against yours, but his fingers were calloused from years of playing guitar and working on cars. The juxtaposition of rough and smooth was more soothing than you ever could’ve imagined.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Just got lost in thought for a second. Thank you for checking on me.”
You smiled at him sweetly, squeezing his hand in yours. Expecting him to let go after he knew you were alright but he just held on tighter. One hand on the wheel, the other in yours, hidden from the kids by the center console.
“DADDYYYYY! I want an icee, a blue oneeee!” Charlotte said in a sing-song voice.
“Okay baby, we can get a blue icee.” Eddie smiled at her in the rearview mirror and she clapped her hands in triumph.
“Oli, do you want an icee?” His eyes moved over to the other side of the backseat as he addressed your son.
“Yuuppp! Blueeee!” He said in the same sing song tone as his friend. He was always parroting her and saying things she said back to her and it warms your heart. He’s come so far with his communication skills since he started school and started spending so much time with Charlotte, you couldn’t be more proud of him.
Eddie held your hand up until he parked the car and took the keys out of the ignition. Squeezing it before placing a quick and sneaky kiss on the back of your hand, giving you one of those goofy smiles you love so much and exiting the car like he didn’t just make a bomb filled with butterflies go off in your stomach.
You got the kids out of their seats and walked into the movie theater, Charlotte and Oliver insisting on being in the middle so they could hold hands too. Eddie showed the guy at the ticket booth the barcode on his phone that had the tickets on it since he insisted on paying for everyone.
“Icee! Icee! Blue!” Oli jumped up and down as he pointed at the machine spinning the different colored slushy ice.
“Yeah baby, I’m gonna get you an Icee.” You chuckled at how cute his excitement was, letting him drag you toward the concession stand with Eddie and Charlotte in tow.
You ordered two small and two large blue Icees and a large popcorn. You go to pull your wallet out of your purse to pay since Eddie bought the tickets but you feel a large hand on yours, pushing it back down.
He already had his card out before you even open your purse, handing it to the woman behind the counter.
“Eddie… you paid for the tickets, it's the least I can do.”
“Nope. My treat.” A triumphant smile spread across his lips and he sent you a wink.
He always did this, paid for you, drove you, brought you little things he saw in the store that reminded him of you or Oli. It’s not like you didn��t have money, your aunt left you plenty of it and you had your job at the diner. But you knew Eddie did well for himself, he had told you some about his childhood, how he grew up with very little and he didn’t want his daughter to ever feel like he did as a kid. So after he finally graduated he and his uncle opened their own mechanic shop. It was fairly successful, their lower prices and more efficient work times drawing in and catering to the less wealthy people of Hawkins.
“Dada I have to go potty!” Charlotte tugged on Eddie’s hand, pouting toward the bathroom sign that was on the way to your designated theater.
“Alright sweets, let’s go potty. Oli and your bestie will go get our seats.”
She shook her head and pouted, looking at you with big round brown eyes, asking without verbalizing, something you’ve became an expert at understanding after having Oliver. Ever since you had all started going on outings together more often she had been asking you to take her to the bathroom. She had hardly ever gone in the girls room, always having to have her dad take her, so after you took her that first time, she always asked.
“Do you want me to take you potty honey?” You smiled at her sweetly, titling your head toward the bathroom.
“Yes! Please! I like going to the girl potty room!”
“Alright little dude, looks like it’s you and me with the snacks and the seats. They have lady business to attend to.” He grabbed the drink carrier from your hand, guiding Oli to walk in front of him into the bright colored double doors that led to dimly lit theater.
You stood outside the stall while Charlotte used the restroom, “standing guard” as she called it.
“Have you ever seen Paranorman before?” You asked her as you helped her wash her hands.
“No but my daddy said it’s a lot like Coraline and I love Coraline so I hope I will like this one too!” She smiled at you in the mirror.
“I’m sure you will, Oli loves it!” You helped her dry her hands before leading her out of the bathroom and into the theater to find the boys.
“Mommmmyyyy! Sit!” Oliver patted the seat on his left, signaling for you to sit down next to him. Charlotte sat to his right and to her right sat Eddie.
You knew you wouldn’t be able to sit by him before you even got here. But he felt like he was a world away with two reclining seats between you, it made you miss the old movie seats, at least then you’d be close enough to reach behind the kids to hold his hand over their heads. You missed his hand in yours the minute he let go, it still felt empty now even as you held the large cup filled with sugary blue slush in your hand.
The movie went as smoothly as it could’ve with two five year olds. You had to shush them both more than a few times and twenty minutes in, Oliver had to go to the bathroom, Eddie took him, he liked going in the boys bathroom just as much as Char liked going in the girls.
When it ended you corralled the kids back into the car, Eddie offering to drive through McDonald’s on the way to your house to get the kids happy meals and they cheered.
The ride was filled with small talk, jokes, and all four of you singing along to different songs on your playlist because Eddie even let you pick the music in his car. He never let anyone pick the music, it didn’t hurt that you had good taste.
When you were a few minutes from your house, just like before Eddie reached over to grab your hand. You took it instantly, intertwining your fingers and looking over at him with a shy smile.
“I had a lot of fun today, thanks for coming with us.” He glanced over at you at a stop sign, his smile sweet and his eyes filled with affection.
“I did too, thank you for inviting us. Next time I’m paying though.” You ran your thumb along his, the soft gesture contradicting the teasing tone in your voice.
“Yeah, we will see about that sweetheart.” He sent you a wink as he turned onto your street, giving your hand one last squeeze before getting out of the car to help you with the seat.
He got Oliver and his seat out of his car, you grabbed your son's hand and he held onto the car seat as he walked you a few feet to your door. He sits the seat down on the porch before turning to Oli and asking him for a high five, he happily obliged, even offering to bump knuckles with him in return.
“I really did have fun today, I love hanging out with you guys, it’s nice… to have someone else to do things with.” Eddie rocked on the balls of his feet with a bashful look on his face.
“It is nice, I’m glad we have you guys. I love spending time with you, both of you.” You were sure the smile on your face was lovesick and dopey but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. “The pumpkins are almost ready to harvest, would you guys want to come over and carve them next weekend? We can put a Halloween movie on, make some popcorn, make a whole thing of it.”
“I’d love that, and I’m sure she would too. It’s a date.” His eyes widen as he realizes his choice of words and you can tell he's about to correct himself so you cut him off.
“It’s a date.” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him into a hug that he immediately reciprocates, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist, his chin resting on the top of your head. You give him a final squeeze before pulling away and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.
“Goodnight Eddie, get home safe.”
He was beat red with a flustered look on his face, you had kissed him on the cheek a few times now, but something about this felt different, more intimate.
“Goodnight sweetheart, sleep tight little dude!!” He waved at Oli before giving your forearm a squeeze and walking back towards his car. You sigh as you watch him drive away, knowing you’ll be counting down the days until next weekend.
Taglist: @comic-harley @yujyujj @witchwolflea @ali-r3n @bmunson86 @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @sheneedsrocknroll92 @melodymunson
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chickentendrsanfries · 2 months ago
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Misia and Pampinea's relationship is so toxic but I think it's actually the best portrayal of a trauma bond I've ever seen portrayed in media (and I am referring to the actual definition of trauma bond, meaning "a bond formed between an abuser and their victim", not the common usage meaning "people who bond by experiencing the same traumatic event together")
Like you see Misia's love for Pampinea, and worse, you see why she loves Pampinea. Pampinea uses a very common but very underrepresented form of emotional manipulation to make herself look needy, pathetic, and dependent upon Misia's help. The audience genuinely believes the few moments when Pampinea acts loving and kind towards Misia, and I think sometimes Pampinea actually intends to be genuine, but using Misia is so second-nature at this point that she's, either consciously or subconsciously, always doing it.
Pampinea fluctuates constantly between being Misia's loving friend, holding her, stroking her hair, and then being distant and cruel to her, always with a soft, pitying voice and a smile, to punish and manipulate her into doing whatever Pampinea wants. She makes Misia genuinely believe she (Pampinea) needs, loves, and would be lost without Misia, that for Misia to exit this relationship would kill Pampinea, a person Misia loves. Nobody can take care of Pampinea like Misia can, least of all Pampinea herself. You can really see how emotionally dependant Misia is on Pampinea, especially after her girlfriend dies in the first episode. This story takes place during the fucking P L A G U E. Everyone is losing everyone they love constantly, and for a while Pampinea is all Misia has, to throw her love and energy into. You can see that her forming a relationship with Filomena is the first step to breaking free from this emotional dependence, but even that on it's own isn't enough.
I mean for fuck's sake, Pampinea offers Misia to mourn her dead girlfriend together, she does a whole little funeral with her and offers her support, friendship, and comfort as a noble to Misia, a lowly handmaiden, and you almost think "wow, maybe on some level she really does care about Misia" only to realize she only did it to coerce Misia into murdering someone, an act which traumatizes and wreaks psychological havoc on her already fragile mental state.
It's a portrayal of a kind of abuse that isn't often shown in media, which tends to lean towards the angle of "look at this stupid pathetic sad sack, their (always romantic, usually heterosexual) partner beats them up but they still think they love them because they're so manipulated into thinking they're worthless on their own, and I, the narrative, despite portraying this as a bad thing, am also unintentionally corroborating that by giving them no characterization beyond "Battered Victim in need of rescuing by Other (usually male romantic interest) Protagonist."" Misia has a character outside of her relationship to Pampinea, and more importantly you see why she loves her and why she stays. It's like she says, "Love isn't just one dimension. Love has long claws." Her love has ensnared her in Pampinea's grasp.
When I first watched it, I thought Misia murdering Pampinea was overkill and I was shocked and felt it out of character for her to have done that (especially considering how she did it, fucking WOOF) but upon reconsideration, it's a perfect culmination of everything we've seen of their relationship. Pampinea, for years, convinced Misia that she needed her, that she would die without her. So, when Misia finally decides to sever that relationship, it makes sense that she thinks Pampinea couldn't live without her, so she might as well kill her. Additionally, I think there's an implication that Misia would always be tethered to Pampinea if she were alive, that those claws were sunk so deep she could never guarantee her own emotional safety if Pampinea was around. Further, Pampinea at this point tried to make Misia burn an innocent woman to death in order to kidnap her child and lay claim to her estate, so for Misia to burn her to death instead is poetic in a way, a fitting end. And lastly, Pampinea used Misia's trust and love her whole life, and in her last action, Misia flips the script and uses Pampinea's love and trust to end her life.
"What would I ever do without you?"
"We'll never know, viscontessa."
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bluektw · 4 months ago
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CK S6 Part 1 Spoilers
I'M SO FUCKING PISSED.
ok, Keenry is still the best couple? Yes
But it was so out of character for him not go console her, like I'm sorry I would care more about my girlfriend than getting a headband. Other than that, he and Tory have probably the best set ups in this part.
I'm really pissed at Robby, but I do think that in part 2 maybe their promise will come back up, and they might support each other even in different dojos (Hard to believe, but it would be the best outcome) I also hope we finally see him going after Tory this time, S5 was only her pining, now is his turn
Tory Nichols they could never make hate you. You wanna fight in CK? go queen. I get why she's doing it, it's not healthy, will probably end bad for her again, but I do hope her going back has SOME payoff, please don't let her go back just to lose to Sam again. I'm thinking either her or Robby will be injured in the tournament, and I have seen theories she will jump back to MF but I don't know (and now I'm pretty sure Sam will win, and honestly I'll just have to make my peace with that).
Btw that flashback she had? ALL PAIN. I was crying. Also really sad no Brandon and that the first time we saw her mom she was dead. Can't she get a break? Like we know she's not the writers favorite, but come on?? You really gave her ALL a teenager shouldn't have to deal with in one episode.
Now hm... Why is Kwon so interesting? Can I have more of him? Why is he so angry with the world? is his family shitty? What happened for him to become like this? I need answers. (Manifesting him and Tory developing an ACTUAL friendship, I don't usually win but I hope I get this) (Also, three fucking revolutions in that move. THREE. How exactly is he going to lose? I don't know, but if the world didn't revolve around Miyagi Fang, my bets were on him to win)
Kreese... Holy fuck you know? Like wow, hallucination 10/10 loved that scene. And sure, it is for selfish reasons, but I still love that he felt something was missing without Tory. (Love this fucked up dynamic so fucking much)
How could they possibly make Chozen boring after episode 1? Why didn't we have more of him training students? One on one? I FUCKING WANTED HIM AND TORY TO HAVE A BOND.
Honestly Daniel, Johnny they could never make me like you, but not at least I'm more indifferent than disliking altogether. (I like Johnny a bit more than Daniel, not sure why)
Devon... Devon... I get why she did it, but come on? I really wanted Kenny to go. Also, the less Anthony in my screen the better, just let Kenny and Devon being friends and I'm good.
Sam and Miguel I have NEVER been more indifferent to your characters, arcs and whatever. How could they make them SO boring? I was almost skipping their scenes.
edit: Forgot to mention I did enjoy Sam and Tory dynamic an how they got over their shit, but now all is back to hell thank you Kreese.
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bokutosbiceps · 1 year ago
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Who do you think out of the Kengan cast are girl dads? Give your personal takes😝
okay okay okay okay. here are my personal takes + honestly they’re right so these are, in fact, law. i also included some kengan omega characters 😉
ps. the dudes that i left out, i believe, would not be a good father/i can't see them as a father or they would likely be closer to their son(s). for example, i can't really see gaolang as a father. he's a daddy, sure, + would be a top tier husband, but as a father i think he'd be super traditional + distant from his kids. raian, on the other hand, would likely see his kids only as "weapons" in the sense he wants to make them strong, but he'd also be closer w a son if he had a kid.
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tokita ohma is a girl dad. he’d be anything his daughter wants him to be + he loves her to absolute death. he’d kill for her. he’ll raise her to be the biggest girl boss in the world + he’s incredibly proud of her, no matter what she decides to do. he’s not really great at the advice + wisdom part, but he’s very comforting + supportive. 
narushima koga is a girl dad. he’s so afraid, though. he’s so afraid he’ll mess his daughter up or teach her the wrong things but his daughter loooooves him. he seriously can’t get away, not that he would want to though. they’re best friends + he adores her. would kill + die for her. also, her biggest hype man.
hatsumi sen is a girl dad. he knows how bad men can be + is suuuper protective of his little girl. he’s basically like her shadow, but not in a creepy way. if anyone messes with his daughter, they’re fucking dead. he’s also at the mercy of absolutely anything she wants. he spoils the absolute fuck outta her.
himuro ryo is a girl dad. he’s a girl dad in the way that he doesn’t really see the point of separation of the sexes + he believes that anything a guy can do, a girl can do just as well or even better. he will instill this confidence in his daughter + watch her take over the world. he’s her number one fan 🥺
jose kanzaki is a girl dad. kiind of like sekibayashi but to a much less degree. he’s the kinda girl dad that lets his daughter do absolutely whatever she wants + will back her 100%, especially if what she wants to do is in a male dominated field. he’s gonna help her bring down tHE FUCKING PATRIARCHY. 
KANOH AGITO IS A GIRL DAD. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. ABSOLUTELY WHATEVER HIS DAUGHTER WANTS HIM TO BE HE WILL TO THE ABSOLUTE BEST OF HIS ABILITY. FIND THIS MAN GIVING HIS DAUGHTER PIGGY BACK RIDES, SHOULDER RIDES, ETC ALL DAY EVERY DAY. HE WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO DO HER HAIR SO HE CAN BE USEFUL TO HER. HE WANTS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT SHE LIKES SO THEY CAN TALK EVEN MORE. HE WILL TRY HIS BEST TO GIVE HER ADVICE + HE WANTS TO SEE HER SUCCEED AT ANYTHING SHE PUTS HER MIND TO. ALSO. IF YOU MESS W HER YOU’RE GOING TO BE WIPED FROM EXISTENCE.
lihito is a girl dad. In a similar way to Sen, he knows how men can be + will be super protective of his daughter. BUT he’s kinda awkward around her. he sees are as such a precious little thing + is super scared of fucking it up. he loves her from afar though + is always always always there for her when she needs him.
mokichi robinson is a girl dad. need i say more?
muteba gizenga is a girl dad. he’s his daughter’s best fucking friend. they wreak havoc together. he teaches her everything he knows + is her biggest fucking fan. he’s a Grade A Dad.
SEKIBAYASHI JUN IS A FUCKING GIRL DAD. HE’S OUT HERE BEING THE BEST FRIEND, FATHER, TEACHER, IN THE WORLD. HE IS THE BEST DAD. HE’S SO WISE + SO CARING + SO PROTECTIVE. he’s never done a single thing wrong. i want him to be my father actually.
takayama minoru is a girl dad. he’s the sweetest w his daughter + she prefers him over everyone. so gentle + so kind. wow 🥺
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bengiyo · 4 months ago
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Love Sea Ep 7 Stray Thoughts
Last week, jealousy crept into the dynamic as Mut had to explain himself to Kom. Mom was understandably concerned that Mut had given up his connection to the sea to become a sugar baby in Bangkok. Both guys felt insecure about the dynamic, and wondered about their histories with their friends. We also met the most adorable teen in BL ever, who also knows way too much about her family trauma around the grandpa. I loved Mut telling Meena the truth about his relationship with Rak. I've only had Meena for a week, and I am going to be so upset when she's inevitably kidnapped (as @lurkingshan insists will happen). Meanwhile, Vie is pretending she has a dead grandma to get time with Mook? Idk. We left at Rak letting Mut face fuck him, which is a huge step forward in Rak prioritizing Mut's pleasure and showing trust in him.
I like starting here. Rak letting Mut worry about him and help with his anxieties about the dad by watching over Meena is excellent.
I almost expected Love Score to start playing.
Chapter 7: The Role of Drama Creators
Mook has had a crush on Vie for most of her life, or was this about the ideal love she's wanted?
Hate that Rak has a special phone we lock away to send money to the dad.
Yep, and that's why. He started shaking over the knowledge that his dad even saw a message from him.
Despite all the weird flirting I'm glad Vie helped Mook with her main job.
Oof, Mook used the nuclear option.
I'm glad Rak can turn on his charm for his readers.
Prin really tried it with Mut.
Oh lord this rude child is going to throw water on herself and blame Rak, I know it.
Prin is so pressed about Rak. It's embarrassing.
BossNouel cameo.
Wow, between this and Tokyo in April is, y'all should just assume every item is a microphone now.
Tongrak said, "Scurry along. You've lost."
Oh, I do like Tongrak using this moment on stage to say something nice to Mut.
You know Vie is a real friend because she's the one who gave him the pen, and is mad that she missed all the drama.
Next week Prin goes to grandpa? Why is she so pressed? It's annoying!
I enjoyed this episode a lot. I liked seeing Mut let Rak tell him how he wants him to be on his team, and Rak choosing to believe Mut about managing this situation. I also liked that the BN cameo was minor. This was a surprisingly chill episode, despite the trauma response we saw Rak have, and the cousin drama. They felt like a couple this week.
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niyabiblioteca · 1 year ago
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i hate your guts
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PAIRING: fem!reader x ex-reader!jeongin
WARNINGS: mentions of cheating, rough sex, slapping, spitting, name calling, crying, jeongin really doesn’t give a fuck about the her pleasure
you came to apologize, but after tonight, are you really sorry?
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“you’ve got a LOT of fucking nerve showing up here.”
you looked at jeongin from his doorstep: a place you never thought you’d be and a place he’d have hoped to never see you at again.
he was looking at you with the coldest gaze you could have ever imagined. his arms crossed, bulging out of his tank top. you tried to focus on why you were here, but damn did he make it hard.
“jeongin, please. i just wanna talk. can i come in? it’s freezing.” you pleaded with him.
he scoffed at you “you really think i give a fuck about what you wanna say? you can leave right the fuck now” he was unfaltering. definitely expected as he’s always been stubborn.
“please. just hear me out.”
a few beats of silence went by before he sighed and quickly looked away before turning and walking away from the open door.
you guess that was his invitation inside.
you stepped into the all familiar house and closed the door behind you.
he stood a foot or two from the couch as he assumed the same position while looking at you impatiently.
“is it okay if i sit down?”
“just fucking spit it out.”
his harsh yet quiet tone shook you and made your heart ache as you sat down on the couch and swallowed the lump in your throat before beginning.
“i-i’m sorry, jeongin. i never meant to hurt you and i’ve been feeling so horrible about it ever since you found out.”
his eyes widen in disbelief. that’s what you came here to “talk” about?!
“you’re sorry? you really came here to apologize and give me that bullshit about never meaning to hurt me while you were fucking heeseung behing my back?!”
you started, “i- i just-“
he cut you off. “and you’ve been feeling horrible?! how do you think i felt?! you let me walk around our group of friends so clueless when the whole time you were humiliating me and breaking our fucking promise!”
you opened your mouth but stayed silent.
he dropped his arms to his sides in a hopeless manner.
“the whole time. everyone knew but me. you allowed everyone to act all innocent with me as if you all weren’t laughing at me behind closed doors.”
his voice started to break the more he spoke.
“i- i’m sorry. i just had to come tell you that. i couldn’t live with myself without at least saying that to you.”
that made him go back to his cold expression as he stared at you in disbelief.
“oh? so you just showed up at my door at fucking midnight to rid yourself of your own guilt?!” he chuckled coldly. “yeah well you can get the fuck out of my house. you fucking lying whore.”
as he pointed to the door you sat in shock couldn’t believe what he just said. and you also couldn’t believe that it turned you on so much.
“i said get out!” he marched around the coffee table to grab you up out of the seat by your arm. his grip on you was unforgiving. and god did it make you drip. you should feel so bad for this, but you can’t leave now. not without getting what you truly wanted.
“jeongin, no! please don’t! just let me stay just a little longer, please!” you pushed against his grip and you both sort of wrestled to the door until he had enough and slamming your against it.
“yeah? why should i? give me one good fucking reason why i should let a slut like you stay here!”
you placed your hands on his broad chest as you looked him dead in the eyes.
he knew that look.
that look that he once loved to see, but now he’s just taken back at it.
“oh wow. really. so that’s the reason you came. for sex?”
you wanted to say something in fake protest but every word died on your tongue.
“wow. you really are nothing but a liar and a whore. came all the way here to get your disgusting cheating cunt filled up. thought you could get me to pity you enough to do it, huh?”
you nodded because you really did and you felt like it was working. when you were dating he could never resist when you gave him that look. you smirked as you felt that his resolve was slipping.
“well too fucking bad. leave.” he started opening the door behind you.
your eyes widen as you grab his wrist from the doorknob in a panic.
“no! please, jeongin! i’m sorry for lying to you! please just one more time!”
you drop to your knees in front of him as you start running your hands up and down his thighs.
you can see his arousal so you know you got him there. the only thing now is to get him to stop being stubborn.
“god, you really are such a needy whore. what, heeseung couldn’t give it to you well enough? i assumed he was, given that you cheated on me with him.”
you shook your head.
he sat and watched you pathetically rub and grind against his legs like a bitch in heat before clenching his jaw and speaking up again.
“you really don’t deserve it, but how about this?”
he reaches down and grabs a fistful of your hair so violently you thought he was gonna rip it out.
he pulls you back up to your feet and stares at you coldly.
“i’ll fuck you. but only this once. exactly how you want it too. i’ll fuck you like i hate your fucking guts. then afterwards, you’re never gonna speak to me again. you’ll never show up on my doorstep ever again. you’ll go back to heeseung and let me forget you exist. deal?”
“deal.” you said without thinking with a smile on your face. the smile pissed off jeongin more.
“alright then. don’t think you’re getting fucked in a bed though. we both know you don’t deserve it.”
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“oh fuck! fuck me harder!”
you scream as you watch yourself in the mirror. the state that you are in right now after about 2 hours is beyond anything you thought jeongin’s soft self would be capable of.
your hair and makeup was a mess from tugging and crying and drooling. your mascara went from dripping down your face to being smudged across your eyes and cheeks and on the comforter that you were gripping for dear life.
it painted an ugly picture on your face. your eyes were bloodshot.
your body from the neck down was covered in red and purple bruises and hand prints from being smacked around and manhandled all night long. the pretty colors together made you feel even weaker than you already were.
finally you get to the man responsible. the man gripping at your hips with everything in him. you can see the bruises forming on your skin and the veins popping out of his arms and hands.
his thrusts were absolutely incredible with how hard and precise they were each time his pelvis met your ass. your clit was rubbed red and swollen from the constant attention it was receiving and it pulsed from the overwhelming feeling of your nth orgasm of the night.
you dropped your face onto the comforter as your eyes rolled the the back of your head as you felt yourself go dumber by the second. you had stopped fully moaning and screaming his name and now just let out little groans.
your resting state was interrupted immediately after jeongin flipped you over and smacked you across the face, thus leaving the final mark on you.
he reinserted his angry hard cock and grabbed your throat with one hand while his other worked the fuck out of your clit.
you started choking on your saliva and your own moans as your windpipe was being closed up more and more by the second.
you looked at him and saw nothing but focus and aggression on his sweaty face. it’s like he wasn’t even tired. he had built up this emotion for so long and was planning on taking it all out once and for all.
he let go of your throat and gripped your waist as he started fucking you at what felt like the speed of light. your body bounced vigorously with each collusions and your gaze turned from starry to pure white as your arousal sprayed out of you and onto him.
but then he pulled out. ruining your orgasm.
you screwed your eyes shut and whined while your hips chased his cock again, only to realize it wasn’t there.
you opened your eyes when you felt the same sting on your scalp from earlier as be pulled your face up and drove his cock down deep into your mouth while jerking and letting all his thick release slide down your throat.
he fucked your face some to ride out his orgasm before roughly pulling his cock out and smacking you with it before he let your hair go and watched you collapse onto the floor.
you had barely had a second to catch your breath before jeongin stood up.
surely he would help you some way. clean you off, offer you some of hir clothes, or at least get you off the floor.
but no. he stood and stared at your pathetic panting form without any remorse.
“now get the fuck out.”
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godDAMN this took a lot out of me.
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ghostsbimbo · 1 year ago
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the boys & hearing a song from your phone on shuffle a/n: nsfw songs ahead <3 ur welcome. tw: some songs contain heavy subjects such as rape.
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simon "ghost" riley - good lookin' by dixon dallas
He's bouncing off my booty cheeks, I love the way he rides I can hardly breathe when he's pumping deep inside I kiss him on his neck and then he kisses on my bussy Call him "Daddy" while I holler Man, that boy so damn good looking (looking, looking)
He has a thousand yard stare as you try to contain your laughter at the song. you love this song, and the artist in general. You originally found him when he was just doing rap, his name being iamjakehill. you completely embraced both the pop punk (ur pretty) project & the country project of his. and now, you're showing your lieutenant one of his very gay masterpieces, despite the artist being a very straight man.
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könig - dana dan by bloodywood
Not all men, yes, all men Need all men for what we're solvin' Can't be what it's been but we're evolvin' You see for yourself now get involved in Talking all in, do more, boy, it's a war Chainsaw to the dead weight, leave it raw Bloody galore as we clean out the core Yeah, we do it for her, so we kick in the door
he definitely looked up the lyrics, meaning behind the song, and translation as soon as it was over, and with that he found a new band to listen to. listen, the dude may basically be a war criminal [ they all fuckin are, lets admit it ] but he sure as hell would fucking destroy a rapist as soon as he had the opportunity. all of them would.
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john price - i threw glass at my friend's eyes and now I'm on probation by destroy boys
But fuck you! You're so old, dude! Like seriously, what do you think you're doing? Your hands are so big and you're so tall, wow! You know, I kinda wish I had let you do that one thing that one time But in retrospect, it would've been a bad idea 'cause You don't care about me like I care about you so I feel bad
man, this dude felt this song was a personal attack on him. yes, y'all had an age gap, but you needed to assure him he was perfectly fine, and you just liked the song because of trauma prior to meeting him. being a kid/teenager with unmonitered internet access really fucked you up, buddy.
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keegan p. russ - chokehold by sleep token [ cover by will ramos ]
So show me that which I cannot see Even if it hurts me Even if I can't sleep Oh, and though we act out of our holy duty to be constantly awake
to say he loved the dudes voice would be an understatement, and then to figure out it was a cover of a song and he heard the original? the man was offended you kept will ramos, his band lorna shore, and the band sleep token from him. his phone would end up being filled with both bands discography.
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kyle "gaz" garrick - to the hellfire by lorna shore
Accept this descent into the night Releasing your grasp to induce separation Plunged into the shadows Lost in sensation, we're free falling down into the everblack Can you feel it? These pins and needles
He got scared. He also wondered how you could understand what the guy was saying the whole time. He got VERY confused when the pig squeals started - confused enough to ask if they had a pig in studio. You laughed and explained that no, the vocalist that was screaming - Will - did it all himself. It then lead to you info dumping on the genre of music as a whole.
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johnny "soap" mactavish - pisces by JINJER
No promises I ever give Don't rely on me and I won't deceive The beginning or the end you can't tell When I wave my fin and shake my tail I grew in different normality With unblamable morality Hooks and nets are there for me But I'm skittish
The soft voice is what got to him, his eyes going wide when he heard the screaming. He didn't believe you at first when you told him the woman singing was also the one screaming, too. - "No fuckin' way is that a bonnie doin' that." - so you pulled up the song on youtube, and then also pulled up a few live videos of the band, too. He believed you after a few videos, and may have gotten a little jealous when you said she causes you to have a MAJOR gay panic. You also state you wish you had the same amount of talent as her, especially with the screaming.
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antianakin · 2 years ago
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I have such mixed feelings about the Clone Wars "Heroes on Both Sides" episode because I appreciate what it's TRYING to do with the idea of showing that the Separatist side has legitimate grievances and the Senators in it are/were good people who've just been duped into being on the side of a war that's literally enslaving people, but I also think it handles it incredibly badly.
Take Mina Bonteri, for example. We're SUPPOSED to like her and think she's this honorable woman who mentored Padme and is still Padme's friend, but she also thinks Dooku's somehow a good honorable person and will literally not hear a single word against him even though this person she's mentored could tell her that Dooku is the one who nearly executed her on Geonosis. Padme can literally speak to how those events in the Geonosis arena ACTUALLY WENT, but she can't because Mina refuses to hear anything bad about Dooku because she's apparently got a political boner for him or something I dunno.
And then her whole story of woe that's meant to show us how the Republic also sometimes commits atrocities boils down to "my husband worked at a lab and clones attacked and now he's dead" and I feel like my reaction is supposed to be "wow that's horrific that the clones attacked an innocent person" but knowing what I know about the Separatists and how they worked my reaction is actually "well what the fuck were they doing at that lab huh Mina? Did you even know your husband or was he a bitch who was coming up with some sort-of bio weapon to use against Republic civilians?" Because I don't believe for a SECOND that the clones would've just attacked a random lab for no obvious reason. That lab was up to some shit and they never tell us what it is because they want us to feel bad for Mina's loss, but I... don't. Because I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility for Mr. Bonteri to have been caught up in shady shit that Mina had no idea about.
And of course then there's her son and the whole interaction he has with Ahsoka. Again, I understand the point of them saying that Ahsoka has only ever met "military commanders" on the Separatist side and not any of the actual Separatist civilians/senators, but the comparison being made is with Lux's experience with the JEDI, who are ALSO military commanders in this war. Ahsoka is judging the Separatists by the people they've PUT IN CHARGE of their side of the war and who are the ones actively causing atrocities. Ahsoka is judging the people who are her PEERS on the Separatist side. And while there is obviously merit to getting to know Separatists civilians, I don't think it counts the same as Lux saying he's never met a Jedi before and is now choosing to judge an entire culture when he's never met a single person from that culture until now.
The Onderon arc and the Gerreras do a WAY better job of getting this concept across, that there are literal REBELS on some of the Separatist planets who didn't choose to be Separatist and don't necessarily care for the Separatist government. Ahsoka (via Anakin) seeing every Separatist as an evil person simply due to being Separatist would have been incredibly paired with having to help out some Separatist rebels fight for their world because they KNOW what's going on, they're LIVING it, they just can't really do much about it due to lack of resources.
I love the idea of making sure the Separatist side is given a little nuance, that there IS an explanation as to why the Separatists seceded and became what they did and all, I just think it got handled SO SO BADLY and it makes me so sad/mad every time I think about that episode.
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hannahssimblr · 11 months ago
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“Give me your artist's perspective, do you like this colour?” Jen wriggles her toes and fixes a small patch with her nail varnish brush.
“It’s black. It’s not a colour.”
“Black is a colour.”
“It’s the absence of colour, it’s a shade.”
“Ugh, annoying.”
“You asked for an artist’s perspective.”
“I’m sorry I bleedin’ did.” She rolls her eyes and lies back on her towel. “I just wanted you to say that you like it. It’s about time you learned about what women really want.”
“Well, alright then, I like it.”
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She sniffs and pushes her sunglasses onto her face. They glint in the high sun. “I miss Michelle. She knows how to talk about girl things. You’re useless, you know that? She’d look at my toenails and she’d say, ‘wow, Jen, that’s a nice colour, it really suits you’ and I wouldn’t even have to ask her to do that.”
“Sorry for having a dick,” I say. “It sounds like it’s really hard for you to cope with.”
“Thanks for understanding.”
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“Have you heard from her recently?”
“Michelle? Yeah. She we were chatting on MSN the other day. She’s having fun in Malaysia, and it’s mad hot and all of her dad’s family are nice so far. And she saw a dead dog in a bag in the river.”
“Nice, thanks for the update.”
“Why don’t you message her?”
“Because I’m not close to Michelle like you are.”
“I wish you were, she’s important to me.”
“Obviously yes, I know that. We just get on each other's nerves.” She thinks I’m annoying, I think she’s annoying, we’d just never really work as friends. Jen knows this, so I don’t know why she keeps talking about it.
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She turns over to look at me, “Well I think you should give her a chance, because you have a lot in common actually, you’re both really good at drawing, and you’re both smart. Also you could really use some practice with being friends with girls, and I mean just friends, not friends that you eventually, you know, fuck.” She whispers that last word because it’s a scandalous thing to say. 
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“I don’t fuck.” I hiss back. “I wish you’d stop saying that, people might believe you.”
She snickers, “But you do!”
“No! As far as you’re concerned I've never done it. And I don't really feel like talking about this, it makes me feel weird.”
“Well okay, but when Shell comes back, and when we go back to Dublin you should make an effort with her, and you should use her as practice.”
I groan. “What do you mean?”
“See if you can not seduce a girl who’s close with you.”
“Stop it, I don’t seduce either”
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“The girls at school would disagree, you should hear how they talk about you in the changing rooms, it’s all ‘Jude did this, Jude said that, he touched my arm, oh he’s so fine, did you see his arse in those trousers?’ It’s actually disgusting.”
I squint at her, “My school uniform trousers?”
“I think so.”
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“I can’t help it if I pull them off. I pull everything off, actually. And I also can’t help it if the girls I make friends with eventually fall in love with me, I’m just naturally very sexy, so I get if you’re nervous about Michelle, because you never know what she might see in me…”
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Jen is laughing, “You’re ridiculous. It’s just that you have that slight hint of an American accent, and they go wild for you because they think you sound like someone from 90210.”
“Whatever, I make that work for me too.”
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“Well you know Siobhán in Ms Daly’s class? She says that you-”
“Okay, okay, I don’t want to know what she says,” I snap, with irritation that surprises even me, “I’m tired of talking about this now.”
Jen frowns, “Well sorry. Moody.”
“I just don’t want to know all of the weird things girls are saying about me to each other. Would you like it if you heard of yourself being, like, talked about like you’re not even a person and reduced to just body parts? I don’t think you would.”
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“Nobody talks about me like that, so yeah, actually, I wouldn’t mind it for once.”
“Well it feels bad. They all talk about me like I’m some conquest.”
“I’d rather be like that than like this.”
“Like what?”
She says nothing. 
“Like what, Jenny?”
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She crosses her arms crossly, “Never mind. Just ask yourself, if I was straight, do you think we’d still be friends?” 
Then I frown into her face. I don’t like this question or its abruptness. “Of course we would be. Why would you say that?”
“I’m just wondering, like, in an alternate universe whether things would have gotten complicated between us and then we’d have had to stop being friends out of awkwardness.”
“I don’t think that at all. I think we’d be friends no matter what.”
She chews on her lip anxiously. “Yeah but that proves my point. You think that because I’m not pretty.”
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“Come on, Jenny, you are pretty.”
“Uh! I’m not, and I’m also fat, so,”
“You’re not fat.”
She huffs, “Well, I am. It’s a fact. You don’t have to lie. I’ve heard it enough times at school by now to know that everyone thinks so.”
“I don’t know… this conversation is weird. I don’t know what you’re getting at.”
“Well… I don’t know either. You just didn’t get my point.”
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“Is there something about being friends with me that, like, makes you feel bad about yourself?” Now I am cold and horrible on the inside. If Jen believes, even in some small capacity, that our friendship exists only because I can’t or won’t date her, then I’m sick with myself. As if I would throw it all away for some lame chance at romance, when really, I’d be friends with Jen no matter what, and forever. No matter if she were straight, or thin or in some way differing in her appearance. I’m friends with her because she’s the best person I know and we are good for one another, not because I’ve merely settled for her. I wish I could communicate this effectively, but I know I can’t, because every time I try to say things like this to people it inevitably comes out wrong and I end up looking stupid.
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“I don’t know. It’s alright.” With hands that clutch at her arms she sniffs and looks sharply away from me, down the long strip of the beach where the land whittles down to a spit and tapers into the sea, “I wonder if I text Joe now will he be able to get something from his brother for me tonight. I’m starting to get so bored of being sober.”
My stomach tightens like a fist, “What do you mean? What do you want him to get?”
“I dunno, like something fun for later. Whatever he has.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” 
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“Uh!” She looks at me with mock incredulity, “Are you my da? I can do what I want, can’t I?”
“I suppose, but why? It’s just not predictable. You never know what kind of junk you’re going to get when you go to a guy like that.”
“I know but I like that about it,” she takes her phone out and starts texting, “It’s unpredictable. Russian Roulette, right?”
“Yeah… Fine. Whatever. Something like that.”
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iwritelmao · 2 months ago
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The Maximoffs
summary: Wanda begins her studies on research, history, and literature, while in true Maximoff fashion, bending the rules a bit. Additionally, her classic shut-in behavior must end... With Peter's help, of course.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5 Coming Soon)
Wanda sat in the library, hunched over a book, exactly how she’d been about six months prior in Queens NY, in the library of Fordham University. Only this one was much smaller, even in its non-relative impressive size. Wanda liked that though. There were no whispered conversations at the circulation desk, no study groups being a bit too loud in a far corner. It seemed in this school, you were either dead silent, or you weren’t the type of person to be in a library.
Of course, there were exceptions. Like when Scott barged in to call Jean out on importan X-Men business. Something about national security being in danger. Or when Hank and Raven flirted over engineering volumes. Or when the professor came to check on Wanda after her third hour of isolation.
“I see you’ve abandoned War and Peace.” He noted, though he didn’t seem upset.
Wanda looked up sheepishly from the book she was reading. “You have a first edition Wuthering Heights.”
“Yes, I believe I also have Jane Eyre lying around somewhere.” Charles Xavier smiled at the girl’s astonishment. “A great something or other of mine was a Brontë fan.”
“Wow…” Her voice was barely at a whisper.
“Do you like to read?”
“Kind of? I think most of the appeal is seeing where the books have been. Looking for signs of whoever read them before; names inside covers, library logs, notes in margins.”Wanda said enthusiastically, though still keeping her voice down. “It’s like you can look at someone else’s life, their reality, through the window of another reality entirely… that’s a special thing for those of us who can’t read minds.”
Charles nodded. “I can imagine.” He said. “Though what I can’t guess at… is why you dropped out of university.”
Wanda looked up from the book. “It’s a long story.”
“Wanda you’re a wonderful student, filled with more academic curiosity than I can begin to muster out of Scott, or Jean, or even Kurt.”
She tensed up. “I really just don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Would you rather talk to your father?”
She clenched her jaw then took a deep breath. “No. And he obviously wants nothing to do with me or Peter.”
“You can’t really believe that.”
“Professor, he knows. And I’m willing to bet he’s known for a while.”
Charles Xavier sat up just a bit straighter. “No, that’s… surely he would’ve said something.”
“Yeah, your guess at ‘what the fuck’ is as good as mine.” Wanda said softly. “Don’t believe me? Read his mind, or something.”
“I’m not going to- no, I believe you,” Charles said. “Whatever he knows or doesn’t know, Erik wants a family more than anything. There must be something keeping him from speaking out… there must be.”
Wanda got back to her room to find Peter sitting cross-legged on her bed, flipping through one of her books. He looked up briefly before turning his attention back to the book, silver hair shielding his eyes. "You wrote all over this thing."
"That thing is a history textbook, so yeah, I annotated it," Wanda said, dropping her bag at the foot of her bed and sitting next to her brother.
"On Bohemian Culture..." Peter read from the cover, then moved to the sticker on one of the bottom corners. "Rented copy... Weren't you supposed to give this back to Fordham?"
Wanda shrugged. "I wanted a souvenir. And it's actually really interesting."
"God, you're boring," Peter tossed the book aside. Wanda used her powers to catch it in mid-air then set it on her desk. "Make any friends yet?"
The girl looked confused. "Why?"
"You're kidding," Peter remarked with raised eyebrows. Wanda shrugged. "Okay, fine. I'm heading out on the town with Hank and Raven tonight, you should come."
"The teachers?"
"Unless you, a vaguely 20-something-year-old, wanna go hang out with the gaggle of eighteen-year-olds," Peter suggested sarcastically, referring to Jean, Jubilee, and Scott. (seriously what the fuck is the aging system in these movies? I'm choosing to believe that the Maximoff twins are both 23 cause I feel like it)
Wanda rolled her eyes. "Fair. But Hank and Raven are... well, I don't know. They're something. I feel like they'd just be babysitting us all night." She said. "Plus, what nightlife is there in Westchester, New York?"
Peter stood up. "Would you stop making excuses to exile yourself?"
She looked at him for a long time, trying to find more reasons to say no, stay in, and read. But she kept drawing up blanks. Her mind kept going back to that one question. Where exactly was one supposed to find good nightlife in Westchester?
Raven threw her head back laughing and Hank watched adoringly. The older man smiled, then took another swig from the bottle of wine he'd brought (apparently, beer didn't agree with his stomach). Raven and Peter shared a six-pack, while Wanda sat and watched with a lukewarm, unfinished hard cider in her hands. She wouldn't drink anything that wasn't sweet or fruity.
They sat around a bonfire in the woods. It had previously been populated by the K-12 students during the homecoming season, but now all that was left was long since scorched grass, and empty bottles littering the clearing.
It was nice, Wanda decided, to be so free with a small group of people. Hank had been hanging from the trees earlier. Raven, shifting from blue, to blonde, and back as it suited her comfort. Peter darted back to the Mansion more than once for more ice to put in the cooler. Wanda had refrained from using her powers much, maybe because she wasn't drunk enough. Maybe because she was too intoxicated to do so safely. After all, dangerous things could happen if one played with chaos magic, the very threads of reality, so carelessly.
"Wanda!" Raven called out. "Your turn."
"Oh, uh..." Wanda paused, considering the question they'd all gone around the fire answering. "Nowhere."
Hank tilted his head. "What do you mean, 'nowhere'?"
The young woman shifted in her seat. "I mean, I've never..."
Peter spit out his beer. "What?" He stared with wide eyes. "What about that one guy? What's his name? He took you to prom, and after, you went to his place and..."
"Watched Never Ending Story on VHS."
Raven set her drink down. "Let me get this straight... You're a twenty-three-year-old virgin?"
Wanda shrugged. "I guess. I mean I've never really felt that way about another person. Sure, I've wanted to date people before... maybe even kiss them, but anything past that..." She looked up from her hands to see the rest of the group staring. "Sorry, I know it's-"
"Natural," Raven said. "Whatever you feel, or don't feel, it's for a reason. It's okay."
Wanda looked at her with a smile. For a moment, the only sound was the crackling of the fire, until Peter took a worryingly long sip of beer and said. "My first kiss was a guy on the track team at the high school I went to."
All eyes went to Peter. His twin sister's eyes widened as her head snapped in his direction. "Not Oliver..."
"Yes, Oliver."
"I thought you hated Oliver."
"Oh, I did. Hated him all the way to third base."
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according2thelore · 4 months ago
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wait i have more to say. i saw someone else say that youre their favorite wincest writer and i just need to raise my hand and say ME TOO!!!!
i only VERY recently admitted to my best friend that i ship them and when i was reading house song i was going NUTS and i NEEDED to talk about it. so i ended up sending my friend a 10 minute long voice message going through the plot and how beautifully written it is and how its fucking me up!!!!!! im going crazy and shaking dean just SHOT HIS DAD!!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!! and my friend was like holy fuck that fic sounds crazy but in a good way and they dont ship it but i think they at least get it now lmfao because wow.
and deans guilt over the life he has given sam. an orphan living on a mattress with no money and just his fucked up older brother. goddamn. i want to hug dean. and sam thinking the worst that dean left him like dad. but then ultimately realizing there is literally NOTHING dean wouldnt do to reach him. its just so cathartic and OH THE FLASHBACK TO BABY SAM. ‘no boo boos?’ ARE YOU KIDDING ME? and then then the parallel because sam is covered in blood again and it ISNT HIS. NO BOO BOOS!!!!!!! but he is so so so hurt oh my goddddd
im sorry im so feral about you i just dont have the magical talent with words that you do. like deans admission and saying that the word falls out of his mouth like a dead body hits the ground????? how can i even attempt to match your beautiful fucking mind. ugh. i wont recover from this. your an inspiration for real. okay i will leave you alone now thank you for the brain worms
HELLO!!
GUH the hits keep COMING!!!!!!
i am giggling and kicking my feet that you explained my fic to a FRIEND HOLY SHIT!!!!! oh to hear this voice message lol <3
i had to read this ask series out loud to charlotte, who was also giggling and kicking her feet on my behalf.
i am so glad you found it believable! that was one of the biggest struggles for me, and i liked the boys' characterization in this one, so i'm so sososo happy that you did too!!!!!
i've never done this before, but i thought since you like it, you might find the planning process interesting! i don't do outlines for all of my fics, just the really hefty ones (the heaven fic, this one, and a few others), and i've found this helps me a lot! you can see some things that i've cut or changed. charlotte and i usually plan these out over face time, lol, and she was mostly asleep through this entire planning one (in her defense, she had been working all day). i hope you find it interesting!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i hope you don't think less of me now that you know i wrote that they "boink" 🙏 it was like two in the morning. also handwriting reveal? omg?
anon, i've said it before but i'll say it again--THANK YOU SO MUCH🥺🥺🥺🥺 uno reverse card as well bc folks like you encourage/inspire authors to keep writing!
i always love hearing which parts folks like best, and this fed me for months to come!!!!!!
and please feel welcome to come back and scream with me about these two any time the mood hits you, lol!
-lizzy BELIEVE IT OR NOT BECAUSE ANON IS TRYING TO MELT ME this is 2/3!!!!!!
(house song, the fic in question for anyone curious!)
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gyllenhaalstories · 5 months ago
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presumed innocent episode 3 word vomit <3
when rusty's face went 🥺 my heart went 💔
THE GLASSES THE CLOTHES THE GLASSES THE ASS THE GLASSES
the moment during which rusty fell in love. "carolyn has kindness" no she doesn't hope that helps.
the softness. the cuddliness. the nuzzling against her face. he is a soft man. i can't hate him anymore. oh my god poor rusty.
raymond i love you. if raymond has 0 fan i am dead and he's probably dead too he's so old. poor raymond. you need to learn how to make better friends. rusty is putting you on the highway to a heart attack.
CAROLYN IS A FUCKING CREEP. I HATE HER. I WILL NEVER SUPPORT YOU CAROLYN.
ass ass ass ass back back back back ass ass ass ass
mya is hot as fuck i'm so sorry i cannot act normal around her i love her already and usually that's a bad sign because characters i like are not good people
GLASSES glasses glasses glasses GLASSES
the judge calling nico 'delay guardia' is so funny yes miss judge <3
carolyn was never in love with rusty. you cannot fucking control falling in love with someone. that's creepy. how she pushed rusty back is so heartbreaking. she broke rusty's heart and yet he came back begging and obsessing over a chance at being with her. i just know he would have left his family to build one with carolyn and she would have abandoned him and their child without remorse.
fucking in missionary right on the spot on the carpet where she was tied up... rusty you will rust in jail you're so doomed
tommy........... tommy............ tommy you are hot. i hate you.
also tommy??? if peter and jake weren't brothers in law i'd fully believe in the theory i had since their first interaction that tommy was in love with rusty and he knew about the affair and he was extremely jealous that the affair was not with him. that will forever remain canon in my heart <3
lorraine is freaky like okayyy that was spicy i can only imagine her telling raymond that barbara is having an affair and raymond would die bye poor raymond
the bartender is hot if i didn't want barbara all to myself i'd allow it teehee
barbara losing her job is so NO I LOVE YOU I WILL CALL YOU MOMMY AND TAKE CARE OF YOU SO SO GOOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. the scene in the train bus tramway idk? oof that was so fucking hot. barbara is so beautiful. she is so pretty. she is so magnificent. rusty you are a dumb man.
i'm the worst person for whodunnit media, i fall into EVERY. SINGLE. TRAP. i thought it was carolyn's son. then KYLE? KYLE WHAT THE FUCK. could kyle have done it. was he just following his father around and found his car parked in front of carolyn's house. is this a kyle and barbara project. IS THE EMO SON IN ON IT. what the hell.
KYLE. KYLE WHAT THE FUCK KYLE. what the fuck was that. the theory daphne and i are thinking of makes so much sense and we're so right and we should be defending rusty in court like we are absolutely brilliant the world has never seen genius like ours @sizzlingcloudmentality
RUSTY I LOVE YOU YOU'RE SO PATHETIC BUT YOU'RE ALSO PATHETICALLY IN LOVE AND I LOVE YOU.
also the way i guessed SO MANY THINGS from this episode in a fic i'm writing right now (and started like last week) is actually wild. you guys will see when i post it but i guessed so many elements that it's actually trippy. wow i did that i'm so smart this is the smartest thing i've ever done. thank you presumed innocent for supporting my narrative <3
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morhido · 2 years ago
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Wait hang on i have a concept. Hunter going to lilith about his crush on willow.
Not for advice, mind you. All the adults in his life have this awfully nuanced view on romance and quite frankly they don't UNDERSTAND how fucking feral his hormones are going right now. Do grimwalkers even have hormones? He doesn't know but it sure feels like it!!!
And even steve, the youngest of the adults, is annoyingly cheesy about the whole thing, speaking as an experienced older brother. "Just be yourself"?? When the FUCK has that ever helped anyone????
Okay so. Lilith. She's 1) not too close to the situation, 2) far from likely to give him any sort of cheesy advice, and 3) GUARANTEED not to judge him for it (because there is no way in the nine circles of hell he is talking about it with gus, and while he loves luz and amity, their little fantasy romace brains mixed in with the fact that they're willow's best friends would almost certainly cloud their judgement, at least a little).
So it ends up with him and lilith at a table or smthn, hunter screaming about his stupid little teenage boy feelings and lilith sort of just humming and nodding along as she flips through a book. She's not there to help him in his inspiring coming of age story wherein he learns to be his best self and pursue his dreams in the form of a pretty girl. She's just there because she honestly thinks the poor kid might explode if he keeps it tucked away for any longer.
So he's sat opposite her and he's just like "TITAN. TITAN SHE'S SO COOL. And pretty. Did i mention she's pretty?? The prettiest. Hooooly fuck."
"Hm yes yes, eyes the colour of eucalyptus leaves and whatnot."
"RIGHT and like. Have i mentioned that i like her voice? Also so pretty. So cute."
"Ah yes, children are always just sooo adorable."
"NOT LIKE THAT CUTE. Like. Okay gus is cute in the same way flapjack is cute. Right. Like you wanna just. Ahh. Y'know. But THE CAPTAIN. CUTE LIKE. CUTE-CUTE."
"Wow."
"Y E AH"
"Okay. So your captain is... cute-cute. Go on."
"But she's also like INSANELY strong?? Like it should be ILLEGAL to be that pretty and also that strong. Not actually illegal though bc then i would have had to arrest her a long time ago. And that would have been sad."
"Mh, and we don't want that, do we?"
"I've gone my whole life without a SINGLE crush and now!! She has killed me. She has singlehandedly killed me. I'm dead, lilith. If you even care."
"Okay."
"And FL Y ER DER BY?? MAN i can't believe she managed to get me hooked on that sport. Like it's seriously so fun. Ha. I went from wanting almost nothing to do with her or that sport to talking about girls with my old colleague. ....well, singular girl. You're kinda just There. (Thank you for being here btw i /gen appreciate it)"
"Oh girls? I can talk about girls. Did you know edalyn once broke a wall of the house playing grudgby? Like. Not even just a window. The entire wall."
"I AM ABOUT TO BREAK!! LOVE HAS GIVEN ME VIOLENT TENDENCIES!!!!"
"One time to cope with her crush on raine eda sicced a griffon on them. Ah, young love. I assume."
"wh A t"
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