#( I love them sm right now they have my whole heart ❤️ )
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harryssyndrome · 2 days ago
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Kiwi baby! | h.s 🥝
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Summery: Harry’s wife surprises him during Kiwi with the best news ever.
Word count: 3.2k || Masterlist 🍉🍓❤️
The gif and the ai image are both mine! Don’t you dare steal it! I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO USE EITHER OF THEM OR STEAL MY WORK!!!
On a kind note, I hope you enjoy reading!!! I love this one-shot sm <333 I couldn’t wait to write it the whole night ever since I got the idea. This is probably my most favorite piece of work ever. I guess I’ll make this a part of ‘Our Little World: Documentary series’. REQUEST ARE OPEN! 🌊
Posted on: November 24th, 2024. (IST)
Tag-list: @angeldavis777 @fruity-harry || TAGLIST OPEN 💌
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The evening sky above the stadium was painted in deep shades of purple, and the crowd beneath it surged with energy, every soul gathered to see him perform. Harry Styles was in his element, bathed in bright lights, his smile as wide as the stage itself, his voice carrying through the open air. The music was loud, vibrant, and electric—Kiwi blasting through the speakers as Harry moved across the stage, every step laced with the confidence and excitement that only live performances could stir.
His outfit tonight was nothing short of breathtaking—a red and black Gucci harlequin-patterned suit that shimmered under the lights, accentuating his every movement. The slickness of his hair, now a little longer than usual, fell just enough to brush his forehead as he swung his body to the rhythm of the song. Fans were ecstatic, their voices harmonizing with his in perfect unity, shouting the words to Kiwi as if their very existence depended on it.
The crowd threw water at him, a playful and typical reaction to the intense heat of the show. Harry, ever the entertainer, caught one of the bottles and used it to douse them back with a mischievous grin. The energy was alive in a way only concerts could make him feel. He laughed along with his fans, feeling that familiar thrill that had kept him addicted to this life—the adoration of strangers, the pulse of the music, and the sheer joy of performing.
But amidst the buzz of lights, the sweat dripping from his skin, and the joy in the air, there was a quiet thought that kept tugging at him. YN. His wife. She wasn’t in the VIP stand like usual. He could always rely on her to be there, her smile always radiating at him from the crowd, her presence a constant comfort. But tonight, the spot where she always stood was empty. The concern he tried to shake off kept creeping into his mind, distracting him in the back of his head, even as his heart continued to race with excitement from the show.
He couldn’t help but glance over to the section where she usually sat, hoping to catch a glimpse of her face, knowing it would soothe the small, gnawing worry he felt. But the space remained empty.
His foot tapped the beat of the song beneath him, trying to focus on the crowd once more. He tossed the water bottle at the fans, his fingers brushing the cold plastic. The adrenaline kept him high, kept him in the moment, but his gaze drifted again.
Where was she?
YN had been a little quieter than usual in the past few days. He hadn’t pushed for any answers, but now he found himself wondering if something was wrong. Maybe she was feeling unwell. Maybe she just wanted to have a quiet night in. Still, the thought of not seeing her there tonight gnawed at him.
His voice still rang out with the words of the song, but his mind was divided between the stage and the empty stand. He kept looking—one eye on the crowd, the other scanning for her. And just as his next verse was coming up, he saw it.
There she was.
Right in the front row—so close to the barricade, she was almost on the stage.
His breath caught in his throat.
She wasn’t in the VIP section. No, she was right there. In the heart of the crowd. The waves of people parted like the Red Sea for her, and there she stood—holding a sign. Her figure illuminated by the stage lights, her long hair falling in waves over her shoulders, a look of pure joy and love in her eyes.
For a moment, everything else fell away—the music, the fans, the lights—all of it was distant. Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of her. The sign she held was simple, but to him, it was everything.
“I’m having your baby” it read, scrawled across a bright poster board in bold, handwritten letters.
He froze. His heart nearly stopped.
She’s pregnant.
He blinked, thinking he must be imagining it, but no—she was smiling at him now, holding up the sign for him to see, her eyes locked on his. There was no mistaking it. YN—his wife—was carrying their baby.
Harry’s pulse raced as the flood of emotions hit him. His heart thudded against his chest like it wanted to burst free. The happiness, the disbelief, the excitement—it all rushed through him like a tidal wave, and for a moment, the world seemed to tilt beneath his feet.
He had wanted this. He had dreamed of this. Of being a father. Of having a child with YN. They had talked about it before, casually, in quiet moments after dinner, while walking through the park, in bed at night. But it had never been a “right now” kind of conversation. They had agreed that when it happened, it happened. And now… it had happened.
Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and his throat tightened. The emotions, overwhelming and beautiful, blurred his vision, but all he could do was stand there on the stage, dumbstruck by the sight of his wife, her belly now holding the future they had always dreamed of.
In a rush of pure joy, Harry stumbled forward, intent on reaching her, to hold her, to kiss her, to tell her how much he loved her. But as he took a step toward her, he didn’t see the puddle of water gathering at the edge of the stage, a result of the fans tossing their bottles earlier.
And then, it happened.
His foot slipped.
There was a split second of disbelief before Harry lost his footing completely, crashing down to the stage in an ungraceful heap. The crowd gasped collectively, their moment of joy paused in shock. But Harry, ever the professional, couldn’t help but laugh at himself. His laughter echoed through the microphone as he quickly scrambled to his feet, dusting himself off.
“Bloody hell,” he muttered, still chuckling as he shook off the fall. The fans laughed along with him, the tension breaking as they cheered even louder, impressed by his quick recovery. Harry took a deep breath, regaining his balance and composure. He grabbed the microphone again, still laughing, and gave the crowd a playful wink.
“You okay, Harry?” someone from the crew called out, teasing him from the side.
“Yeah, I’m good! Just a little slippery, that’s all!” Harry replied, still grinning.
His gaze immediately returned to YN. She was still standing at the barricade, her sign still held high, her face alight with joy, her smile as radiant as the sun. It was in that moment that Harry realized he couldn’t wait any longer. The song was still playing behind him, the familiar rhythm pulsing through his body, but he couldn’t focus on the lyrics anymore. Not with the overwhelming emotions flooding his heart.
He took a step forward, slowly walking toward the edge of the stage, his eyes still locked on YN, who was holding his gaze with the same intensity. With each step, his heart pounded harder in his chest.
And before he even knew it, his knees buckled beneath him, and Harry collapsed to the stage once more, but this time, it was with pure emotion.
He covered his face with his hands, unable to contain the tears that had begun to fall freely down his cheeks. After a few moments, Harry wiped his eyes, clearing the tears away as he stood up once more. His voice was thick with emotion when he spoke into the mic, his words trembling with happiness:
“My wife is having my baby!” he shouted, his voice trembling. “It’s all my business!”
The crowd erupted in pure, ecstatic noise, the roar of the fans filling the stadium as Harry remained on his knees, the overwhelming weight of the moment too much to bear. His chest was heaving, his body shaking as the reality of the news consumed him.
“Is that real?” a fan shouted.
“Yes, it’s real!” Harry replied, laughing through his tears. “I’m going to be a dad! A dad!” He repeated the words as if he needed to hear them again, the joy overwhelming every part of him.
The fans roared in approval, the noise a chaotic symphony of celebration. But Harry didn’t care about any of that now. He didn’t care about the performance or the crowd or the cameras recording every moment. All he could think about was YN.
His mind was consumed by thoughts of the future—the life they would build together, the family they would raise. He quickly stood to his feet, wiping his eyes, and glanced once more at YN.
Without another moment’s hesitation, Harry dropped the mic to the stage and sprinted toward the barricade, his heart pounding with anticipation.
Harry could feel the heat of the stage lights burning against his skin, but they didn’t matter. The noise of the crowd was deafening, but it was like a distant hum. His heart was the loudest thing he could hear, thrumming in his chest, pumping through his veins with an almost frantic rhythm. His legs carried him toward YN like they had a mind of their own. He was driven by a force he couldn’t describe, propelled by the overwhelming joy of the moment.
Fans parted for him as he made his way to the front of the stage, their cheers rising to a fever pitch as they realized what was happening. Harry didn’t hear their excitement—he only heard the steady beat of his heart, louder now than the music, than anything else in the world.
YN. His wife. The love of his life. The mother of his child.
As he approached the barricades, YN’s smile never wavered. She was grinning from ear to ear, her eyes shining with excitement, her hand placed lovingly over her flat belly. As soon as Harry reached her, he lifted her into his arms, spinning her around in a joyous embrace, laughing like a child. The crowd cheered even louder, their love for Harry and YN growing with every passing second.
She had always known that he wanted this more than anything. They both had. But now it was real. She was carrying their baby, and everything about their lives was about to change.
“YNN…” Harry’s voice caught in his throat as he reached her. He placed her back on the ground, eyes never leaving hers. She was glowing—absolutely radiant in the soft light of the stage, and he couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh as his arms reached out to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. The crowd cheered louder, but Harry only had eyes for YN, holding her close, feeling the warmth of her body against his.
“I love you,” Harry whispered into her ear, his voice thick with emotion. “I love you so much. I can’t believe we’re going to be parents.”
YN pulled back slightly to look at him, her hand resting on his chest, feeling the erratic beat of his heart under her fingers. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, her smile wide and full of joy, matching his own. “I know. I can’t believe it either,” she whispered, voice trembling just slightly. “I wanted to tell you in the cutest way possible, but you’ve already made it the most unforgettable moment of my life.”
Harry’s breath caught again, a lump forming in his throat as he looked down at her belly, still so small but already holding the life they had created together. His hands rested gently on her sides as he crouched down slightly, his eyes never leaving her. He placed his lips softly on her stomach, his kiss a promise—a vow. The fans around them cheered again, but this time, it was just background noise to Harry.
“I’m going to be the best dad for you,” Harry muttered against her belly, his voice filled with awe. “I promise.”
YN’s fingers threaded through his hair as she smiled down at him, her heart swelling with love. “I know you will be. I’ve always known,” she whispered, her voice full of faith and affection.
“You’re going to be the best dad our baby could ever ask for.”
As Harry pulled back from the kiss, he stood to his full height and stared at YN, his hands still resting on her waist, his expression filled with wonder. His lips curled into a grin, and he couldn’t resist pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before meeting her eyes once more.
“I can’t believe I’m going to be a dad,” he repeated, his voice thick with emotion, as if the words didn’t fully make sense to him yet. But the more he said them, the more real it became. “You and me. We’re going to have a little baby.”
YN’s eyes sparkled, the tears now freely falling down her cheeks. She looked at him with a mix of love, gratitude, and joy. She reached up to touch his face, her thumb brushing gently against the stubble on his jaw. “It’s happening, Harry,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s happening.”
Harry smiled wider, and without thinking, he reached down, cupping her face with both hands. He kissed her then—slow, gentle, tender—a kiss that held all of his joy, his love, his gratitude, his hope for their future. This was more than a kiss; it was a promise, a symbol of everything they were about to become. Harry pulled away slowly, his forehead resting against hers as they both tried to catch their breath.
“I can’t wait,” Harry murmured, his lips still grazing hers as he spoke. “I can’t wait to hold our baby. To be there for you. For everything.”
The love in his voice was enough to make YN’s heart swell to bursting. He kissed her again, softer this time, and then looked back at the crowd.
Harry wrapped her in a tight hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around again as he laughed.
“I love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
YN laughed, her fingers threading through his damp curls. “I love you too. Always.”
Harry set her down gently, his hands never leaving her as he looked into her eyes. “You’re my everything, YNN. You and this baby—you’re everything.”
Tears slid down YN’s cheeks, and she nodded, her heart full. “And you’re ours.”
Harry dropped to his knees once more, pressing his lips to her stomach in a gesture so tender it made YN’s breath catch.
“Thank you for making my life so much beautiful,” he murmured, his voice trembling. “I’ll love this baby with everything I’ve got. And I’ll love you even more.”
YN’s hands rested on his shoulders, her fingers squeezing gently. “You already are, Harry.”
The evening continued around them, but for Harry and YN, time seemed to slow. The music had become a distant hum, the chatter of the fans a soft murmur in the background. All that mattered was each other.
As they stood at the barricades, Harry reached up to take YN’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. He leaned in once more, pressing a kiss to her lips, soft and slow, as if savoring every moment, every sensation. His heart felt full to bursting. He had everything he had ever wanted—YN, their love, and now, the promise of their baby.
He felt as if his entire life had led up to this point—this single, beautiful moment. The rush of emotions from earlier hadn’t yet subsided, but now there was a calmness in him, a peace. He smiled as he looked down at YN’s hand in his, then back into her eyes.
“I know we’ve been through so much already,” Harry said quietly, his voice full of emotion. “But I feel like the best part of our journey is just beginning.”
YN nodded, her smile soft and full of love. “I feel the same way.”
Harry squeezed her hand once more, then stepped back slightly, turning his attention back to the crowd. “I’m going to be a dad,” he said out loud, his voice full of awe and happiness. He turned to face the audience, the microphone still lying on the stage. “Everyone, this is the best moment of my life,” he said, his voice carrying the emotion of the words. “My wife, YN, is having my baby.”
The moment was surreal. The fans were still screaming, the cameras still rolling, but none of it mattered. For Harry, nothing would ever top this moment. It wasn’t just another performance or another stage—it was the night his greatest dream began to come true.
As they stood there together, the crowd began to chant, “Baby Styles! Baby Styles!”
Harry threw his head back in laughter, turning to wave at the audience. “You lot are mad!” he called out, but his face said it all—he was over the moon.
The crowd continued on cheering wildly, but Harry’s focus was on the woman in front of him. She was glowing, every inch of her radiating love and joy, and he couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest man alive.
He leaned in to kiss her once more, this time a gentle, loving kiss on her lips. He felt everything he had ever hoped for in that kiss—his future, his family, and the love of his life, all wrapped up in one perfect moment.
As the kiss ended, he pulled back, his forehead resting against hers. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
“I love you too,” YN whispered back.
They stood there for a moment longer, the world around them continuing on, but nothing mattered now but each other, and the new life they were about to bring into the world. Together.
The fans’ cheers faded into the background as Harry held YN’s hand tightly, the two of them standing side by side, facing the future with all the love and hope that their hearts could hold.
Harry stood up and kissed her again, his heart still racing, his mind still in a daze, but in the best way possible. His dream of being a dad was coming true, and no matter what came next, he knew he had everything he ever needed right here, in this moment. He knew one thing for sure: their love was only just beginning
And with that, Harry Styles was no longer just a rock star on stage—he was going to be a dad, and that was the greatest role he’d ever play.
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julie-jcyful · 2 years ago
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‘ can i hold your hand? ’ [ Vallie ]
Love Based Prompts || Accepting [ @tearsofstarsdrops ]
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" • • • • "
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" Well...I Mean...I-I-If you want to...S-Sure Thing, Vallie ♥️ "
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xxchumanixx · 4 months ago
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I know it says requests closed, ok? But i'll leave this here until you take requests ❤️
also i looove your work sm
can you do one with tim bradford x fem!reader with a lot of angst, hurt to comfort something bad? like the reader gets hurt, kidnapped something very bad outside work.
the reader is lucy's best friend and tim's gf, maybe the reader being a rookie at the same time as lucy
and the reader gets in some trouble and it becomes progressively worse but she didn't say anything to anyone bc she's a cop and think she can handle it?
but in the end it's like really bad and tim is desperate looking for her, and his world crushes when he finds her?
something similar to 2x11 (that ep broke me into pieces and the scene with tim and lucy buried my heart right in hell) but his desperation is waay worse bc it's about the reader and he loves her
lots of love ❤️
Breaking Point
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Tim Bradford x fem!reader
Warnings/Tags: a lot of angst, hurt, mentions of blood, fluff
Word count: tba
Authors note: Hello love, omg it's been soo long I'm soooo sorry! This is not proofread yet, but I hope you'll like it! Love you!
Also, don't know if anyone else has that problem, but every time I make something fat or cursive, it changes the whole text after a few seconds. This happened after an update, and it's SO annoying!
OMG
Anyways, enjoy!
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Listen, I know what you might think now.
Okay, maybe I don't. But to get captured and tortured wasn't your intention when this started.
Hell, of course it wasn't.
But you couldn't have predicted this either.
Neither could you have predicted how an encounter with a certain gangster would end - with you doing whatever he says.
At least he had the decency to only let you make his wrongdoings disappear.
It all went good.
That was, until one day you said no to him. It took him ten hours of his patience to kidnap and torture you, leave you for every cop to see what a shitty job you had done for this city.
And to your fellow colleagues.
You had only graded p2, together with Lucy and John. Lucy and you were best friends; it had instantly clicked once you started your training together.
You had been the first to know about her and John, had helped her through the heartbreak and all that had followed.
She, in turn, was the first to know about you and Tim.
You had started dating when you were still a rookie - luckily not his, or else it would have made everything a lot more complicated.
So, when everything seemed to go perfect, it had to come some shit along the way. It just couldn't have stayed perfect, could it?
This shit was named Luis El Ferno.
A wealthy son of an even wealthier mafia family that had a thing for speeding and collecting tickets. Along with other things that piled up in his file.
And as luck had it, he sought you out to be the perfect candidate for blackmailing. So when the first picture of your almost naked form landed in your mail, you had the shock of your life.
The photo was paired with a letter, saying if you didn't do as he said, he'd ruin your career. And not only that.
He'd ruin you completely.
So you complied, hoping to handle this on your own. Tim was clueless, as was the rest of them all.
Things soon took turns, though, getting worse the more time passed. Then, when he wanted you to do more than just cleaning up his mess, you said no.
You told yourself it was for the better.
You were a cop after all. You could handle this, right?
Big mistake.
When he found out he couldn't threaten you with the photos anymore, at least not enough for you to give in, he let his men kidnap you.
They punched you and used you as their personal boxing bag. They didn't stop when you were pleading, and they didn't stop when you fell silent.
They only stopped when there was nothing left to beat.
And when you closed your eyes, you had never been more grateful for the comfort of nothingness.
----
"You have to be kidding me!" Lucy laughed, leaning back on the sofa. "No way! Tell me you're lying!"
You laughed with her, shaking your head. "I wish I was." you said. "It was so embarrassing! For a moment, I thought he'd let me walk back to the station!"
She laughed louder, biting her lip.
"I would have loved to see that!" she said. "I can imagine the look on Tim's face so clearly!"
You shook your head, smiling. "Yeah, you should have seen the way he tried to keep his cool." you told her. "The poor lady excused herself so many times that her puke was already dry when she finally was in the car."
Lucy doubled over with laughter, the glass in her hand shaking threateningly. "Oh my god!" she breathed out, wiping at her eyes. "Damn, I need that body cam material!"
Eyes widening, you shook your head. "God, no!"
She laughed even more at your shocked expression, wiping at her eyes once more. Oh, she would somehow get that footage, she was sure of that.
It was a night with your bestie, a tradition that had developed early in your training as a rookie. You would sit together, drink cocktails, and do whatever you wanted.
Painting your nails, watching sappy movies, or simply talking.
It was something you never would have missed out on. So, when you didn't show up that day and Lucy didn't get a message from you saying that you wouldn't make it, either, she started to get worried.
She knew you better than most people did, so she knew something must be wrong. Calling Tim, her fingers danced over the rim of her glass, nerves piling up.
"Hey, do you know where Y/N is?" she asked when he picked up, not wasting any time.
Tim frowned on the other end of the line. "I thought she would be with you?" he gave back, eyes scanning the living room.
Your things weren't there, so you must have been on your way to Lucy, right?
"Well, she isn't here, and she didn't text me." Lucy responded, causing Tim's frown to deepen. You were reliable, you wouldn't just cancel plans without telling her.
Let alone disappear.
"I haven't heard from her since this morning." Tim admitted, biting his cheek. "I mean, we had an argument, but still, she would at least text."
Lucy sighed, nodding to herself.
"I'm worried, Tim." she admitted. "If she didn't text any of us, nor show up..." She bit down on her finger, trying to get rid of the horrible thoughts swarming her mind.
Tim swallowed heavily. He already felt guilty for not checking up on you earlier, and the fact that they didn't know where you were, made it even worse.
"I'm heading to the station." he decided, getting up with the phone still pressed to his ear. Lucy nodded on the other end. "Okay, I'll meet you there."
He knew better than to argue with her. She'd do anything for the people she loved.
----
"Okay, one last chance." he whispered into your ear, causing you to shiver in disgust. His breath reeked of whiskey, his shirt of cigarettes. "I really don't want to rearrange that pretty face of yours."
You swallowed heavily but didn't budge. He wouldn't get you to let a corpse disappear.
Never.
He tutted, shaking his head disapprovingly. "And here I thought we were friends." he mused, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.
You jerked your head away from him, glaring up at him. "We're not friends, Luis." you told him angrily. He scoffed, the back of his hand connecting with your cheek with a harsh slap.
Your head whipped to the side, skin aflame.
Tears pricked in your eyes, but your anger only intensified.
"Do you really think you're in command here?" he seethed, harshly grabbing your chin to make you look at him, fingers digging into your burning flesh. "Dont forget who you're dealing with!"
You spit in his face in response.
Another big mistake.
You really should have listened to your mother never to get involved with such people.
Mothers always were right, weren't they?
Luis face became progressively darker, turning redder. He roared, and his fist made contact with your gut, knocking the wind out of you.
So much for the gut feeling.
"Maybe I should teach you a lesson." Luis grumbled, shaking his hand. "You little slut are stepping out of line, and I really don't like that!"
You swallowed, knowing what this man was capable of doing.
Or let do.
He whistled, smirking at you. Two men entered the large room that could have worked as bouncers - ex-military if you'd had to guess.
Luis turned his attention to the men, speaking extra loud so you wouldn't miss his words.
"This little whore needs to be taught a lesson." he told them. "Or two. She's dancing out of line, and I can't have that. Vladimir-" he turned to one of them and your blood ran cold.
Russians.
"You said your wrist ached, right? Maybe a little punching will help?"
Vladimir, the bigger of the too, chuckled darkly. "When did it not?"
His knuckles cracked, and your eyes closed, silently praying Tim would find you before it was too late.
----
"I want every available cop in this station." Tim spoke as Grey entered the on call room. His brows knitted at Tim's words, clearing his throat.
"Bradford, what is going on?" he wanted to know, all eyes on them. "Y/N is missing." Tim explained, thumbs hooked into his waistband, so his fingers wouldn't fumble with everything they got hold of.
Grey's brows knitted further before he nodded. "Are you sure she's missing?" he asked. Tim nodded, eyes downcast. "Yes, sir."
Grey hummed, clearing his throat again. "Okay." he said, swallowing. "Where was she last seen?"
They started to form a plan, checking your last locations. Your phone hadn't been responsive yet, not being able to be tracked.
They were checking out possible locations on a map, as Tim's phone suddenly rang with a message, then another. He fished for his phone, hoping it was you.
His hopes were heard.
Without further checking the message, he clicked on it, mind working overtime.
Then, his blood ran cold, and everything suddenly came crashing to a halt.
The message consisted of a photo and a text.
A photo of you, battered and bruised, blood staining your body and clothes. They were torn, your head hanging low.
Under the photo, the message read: "Your officer, Y/N Y/L/N, has done a very shitty job. Only fair for her to pay the price for it."
Tim could feel all eyes on him, the room suddenly eerily silent. His fingers trembled, his whole body trembled.
He could hear Grey distantly, asking him what happened. He could feel his hand on his shoulder, turning him towards him, but everything seemed to be in a blur.
Grey's gaze fell to the phone, and his heart stopped. "Oh god." he mumbled, a lump forming in his throat.
Lucy stepped forward, heart hammering nervously in her chest. Whatever it was, it wasn't good. "What happened?" she wanted to know, repeating Grey's words.
Neither of them reacted for a second, glued to the spot, eyes on the phone. Moments later, it clattered to the floor as Tim stumbled backward. Lucy took the opportunity to grab it, turning the display towards her.
She wished she hadn't.
Her breath got stuck in her throat at what she saw. She read the text a few times, mind running haywire. Her hands shook, and she had to place the phone down, or otherwise it would have fallen for a second time.
They could only hope you weren't as dead as you looked.
----
It was ugly.
First you found it strange, then funny that they were counting the amount of times they punched you.
They must have been paid for punches.
After the tenth punch, you fell silent. You had pleaded for them to stop only moments earlier, as they took turns in punching and slapping you.
Neither of them cared for your feeble attempts. It only seemed to spur them on.
Every part of your body ached by now, your numb mind telling you to be grateful that they weren't doing other things to you.
It felt like you'd been hit by a truck numerous times.
You weeped as a blow to your stomach knocked any remaining air from your lungs.
That was all you could muster now.
A small weep.
Your head felt like it was wrapped in clouds, vision blurry, and slowly fading. Your hope of getting out of this alive withering by the second.
How were they supposed to find you? How should they track you when Luis took your phone, most likely destroying it?
A punch in your face made your head spin, as everything seemed to blur together, dark spots obscuring your vision further.
And as you thought all hope was lost, you slowly sank into the comfort of unconsciousness.
----
Time seemed to tick in slow motion.
Tim couldn't keep still, he had to move, trying to match his racing heart.
The fear he felt cut deep, like a knife. It bored its way into his heart, infecting it with its poison. He had only felt such fear twice before - once when his ex-wife left him overnight, and the second time when Lucy was buried alive.
But it didn't compare to the fear he felt now. It seemed tenfold.
Grey had to calm him multiple times, or else he would have stormed out there, searching every building for you.
He would have done everything for you.
After what felt like an eternity to Tim, they were able to track the location where the photo of you was taken.
The photo that was glued to the back of his eyelids, not letting him think of anything else.
He felt guilty, an ugly feeling that crept into his very being, infiltrating all of his nerves, his bones, and very fibers.
It was the worst feeling of them all.
He blamed himself - blamed himself for accusing you of having secrets eatlier that day.
That he was right he didn't know then.
But he'd seen your change in demeanor, the way you would pull away from him.
It hurt him so much that he caused an argument.
One he was deeply regretting now.
He had to remind himself to pay attention, to wait for the signal to enter the warehouse they located you in.
How cliché.
When Grey gave the signal, Tim's heart stumbled before it doubled its speed.
Time to move.
They walked forward in formation before splitting, getting ready to bust the door open and head inside, facing whatever might lurk behind the heavy metal door.
When the door was opened, he was the first to enter the large room, eyes quickly scanning his surroundings, gun drawn, as he flinched at the sight.
Tim believed his heart had stopped.
If he hadn't been standing upright, he'd thought he'd died - even though that could have changed any second, as he stumbled towards you.
He couldn't tell if you were still breathing, your body hanging limp in the chair in the middle of the warehouse. Your face was bruised - badly, blood wherever his eyes reached.
They stung, tears threatening to push through. But he did his best to keep himself together, even though the gasp Angela let out as she saw you, didn't make it any easier for him.
Falling down on his knees in front of you, he let his gun clatter to the floor, fingers carefully brushing away the hair that was stuck to your bloody face. With trembling fingers, he tried to feel for a pulse, heart stopping when he didn't immediately find one.
He could feel the others stare at him, waiting for an answer.
"Come on!" he mumbled to himself, feeling again as goosebumps covered his skin.
There - it was weak, but it was there.
"She's alive." he managed to get out, knowing that the ambulance was already on the way. Relief flooded him, even though it was short-lived.
You seemed like you would give out any moment.
Nyla walked behind you, carefully cutting the rope that was binding you to the chair - the only thing keeping you upright, as you fell forward and into Tim's arms.
His body shook, but he did his best to suppress it.
He had to be strong for the both of you now.
He cradled you in his arms, biting his lip until it bled, all to keep the tears at bay. Praying to whatever gods may be above to let you survive this.
Losing you would have been too much. It'd have destroyed him irrevocably.
He could hear sirens, swallowing against the lump in his throat that seemed to get bigger as time slowly passed.
He could feel the stares, knew they were asking themselves what you must have done to deserve this.
Hell, he asked himself the same question.
And, most importantly, who did this to you.
Whoever it was wouldn't get far once Tim would have his hands on them.
He barely noticed when the paramedics almost had to pry you from his hands, getting you ready for transport.
He was in the back of the ambulance even before they had carried you in.
His numb fingers dug into his pockets, catching onto something. They gripped hold of it, turning the small object over in his hand, thumb brushing over the velvet.
A ring.
He had meant to give it to you, having noticed how much you had seemed to like it when you first saw it.
Now he wondered if he'd ever have the chance to give it to you.
Once you were settled, they took off, the look on Lucy's face surely going to haunt him for weeks to come.
It mirrored his own emotions perfectly.
Fear, helplessness.
Something he didn't feel often.
----
Steady, rhythmic beating was what brought you back.
An awful sound, yet it was the proof of life.
Your body felt heavy, mind dizzy. Your mouth was dry and you were sure you must have died and went straight to hell.
Blinking your eyes open, they were met by dim light, stars shining on the other side of the big window.
You swallowed, trying to get rid of the dryness. As your eyes slowly took in your surroundings, landing on Tim whose head lay on your bed, sleeping peacefully, it all came crushing back.
Tears flooded your eyes, soon the dam breaking. They ran over your face in hot streaks, your bruised skin stinging.
Hands shaking, you brought one of it up to his head, softly brushing through his hair as a sob spilled over your lips.
What you had done was nowhere excusable. They would fire you once they knew what exactly you had done.
You were sure of it.
Tim stirred, disturbed in his sleep. His eyes blinked open, and once they fell on you, he was wide awake, sitting upright.
He scooted closer with his chair, hands gripping your own. Seeing you cry broke his heart.
"It's okay." he shooed, thumbs brushing over the back of your hands before he brought one up, carefully wiping at your tear streaked face. "It's okay, you're safe now."
Your head shook almost automatically, tears and sobs intensifying. "No." you croaked out, sight blurry, and his brows furrowed. "No, it's not okay."
Your head fell back into the cushion, biting your lip as you shook it again.
"What happened?" Tim voiced the question he'd asked himself so many times. "Who did this to you?"
At first, you didn't answer, gaze fixed on the ceiling. When he was about to ask again, your mouth slowly opened.
"I fucked up." you managed to get past your split lips. "I fucked everything up."
Tim had to swallow, doing his best to stay patient. Whatever you did must have been so bad, that it resulted in this.
Clearing your throat, you took a deep breath. "Luis El Ferno." you said his name, blinking rapidly to will away another wave of tears.
The name vaguely rang a bell in Tim's head. He must have been someone they arrested before.
"After we arrested him a few months back, he-" you cut yourself off, fingers cramping around his. "He started to blackmail me with photos someone took of me... naked."
Tim's heart stuttered to a painful halt, eyes widening. Every single thought in his mind came to a stop as your words slowly sank in.
Blackmailed.
Photos of you.
Naked.
He swallowed heavily, that ugly feeling of guilt intensifying.
He should have noticed.
"He wanted me to erase things from his file." you continued, ripping him from his vile thoughts. "And when he asked of me to let a corpse disappear, I said no. Big mistake."
Despite the situation, you managed a humorless, dry laugh, but Tim wasn't in the mood for laughing.
No, he was far closer to breaking something.
Or someone.
"He let his guards 'teach me a lesson', as he said it. To show everyone what a shitty job I did. And he was right."
Tim's gaze snapped back to yours, having been glued to the blanket before. The chair made a nasty sound on the linoleum as he brought it ever closer.
Now he knew what you'd been hiding the past few months.
He would have done the same.
His head shook unbeknownst to him, and he wished he could take you into his arms, hold you close to shield you from all the horror in the world.
But you could barely move, your survival a sole miracle.
He brought your hand to his lips, unable to find the words to assure you everything would be fine.
He knew it wouldn't.
"I'm so sorry." you croaked out, biting your swollen lip as more tears fell. "I know I should have told you, but I was so scared. He said he'd end me if I told someone."
Tim swallowed again, bile rising in his throat at the thought.
Oh, how badly he wanted to have a chat with this man.
Though chat might not be the right word.
He took a deep breath to calm himself. Then his fingers dug into his pocket, taking out the small, velvety box.
He turned it over in his hand before slowly opening it, taking the ring out. It glittered in the dim light, reflecting it.
Your eyes widened at the sight, recognizing it. You had admired it through the jeweler's window, knowing you'd never buy it, because it was way too expensive.
Seeing it now, crushed your heart.
He bad bought it for you.
Tim wiped at his nose before he took your hand, slowly putting the ring onto your finger. It fit perfectly.
Then his fingers encircled yours, holding them tight as he swallowed.
"We'll do this together." he said, looking up at you. "Whatever might come, we'll do it together. I'll fight Grey on it if need be, but you won't leave the LAPD."
Fresh tears gathered in your eyes, blurring your sight. The love you felt for this man was indescribable. And you could only hope you hadn't lost him with what you'd done.
"I love you." he spoke, licking his lip. It tasted salty, and he noticed that a tear of his own had managed to spill. "I promise you I'll be there whenever you need me. We can do this, whatever may come. You and I."
You sobbed, overwhelmed by his words. "I love you, too." you managed to say, not sure how you deserved him. "But I don't know how we'll do that."
He bit his lip, and for the first time since you had been missing, he smiled. It was a small one, but it was a smile nonetheless.
"Let me handle that."
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Tag List
@newobsessionweekly @laheysfilm @dhundhchrih @augustvandyne @rookietrek @nachofriess @dtftheavengers @wonderland2425
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redbullgirly · 10 months ago
Note
Hi, how are you? I saw your requests are open so can you please write a social media au where charles leclerc is dating a singer similar to Taylor and Travis's relationship and just the internet reactions to it the rest is up to you, thank you 🫶🏻
sabrina carpenter as face claims if you're okay with it
HEART ON TOUR [CL16 smau]
Charles Leclerc x singer!reader
Masterlist
Summary: Everybody wants to attend Y/N's world tour and that clearly includes the Ferrari star driver, Charles Leclerc. Though when at a concert, he doesn't get the chance to speak with the famous singer and ask her out, and then gets asked about it in an interview, he isn't shy to admit what his intentions were. Maybe that'll bring Y/N's attention to him... and it definitely will bring the fan's attention. Soon enough, rumors about the couple dating start running around.
Warnings: I worked on this for like 8 hours straight so it's very much possible there are some mistakes or spelling errors I didn't even notice after all that time XD.
Author's Note: Here you go Anon, hope you'll like it! I used Sabrina Carpenter as face claim because let's be honest, she has great photos for this type of social media au and is a singer as well. I made this more like a story of how Y/N and Charles started dating and the fans reaction to that and also somehow tried to replicate Taylor's and Travis' way of meeting, some events and timelines, but to match it with Formula 1 world. Thanks for the request and enjoy! :)
yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by arianagrande, charles_leclerc, blakelively and 7,230,197 others
yourusername It's always great to be home, even if you're on a world tour!🇺🇸 Thank you LA for having me, singing in the rain with me and creating special atmosphere I'll remember my whole life!❤️‍🔥 And now Rio de Janeiro is waiting as the next stop of my Heart On Tour!✨🎤
view all 15,492 comments
user1 NO ONE looks that good in the rain except her
arianagrande perfect💋
liked by the author
user2 the concert was so good y'all don't understand now I can't live without knowing I'll see her sing again 😭💔
user3 MOTHER IS MOTHERING
user4 Real angel right here 🤍
taylorswift Nothing screams girl power more than you honey!❤️‍🔥
yourusername thx sm taylor!!! you're literally my biggest inspo ever, love youu 🥰
user5 I love how they're fighting for the most successful and profitable tour ever but still support each other!
user6 omg stop it this is so sweet🥹
user7 The tabloids that constantly try to pit them against each other should be embarrassed XD
user8 STOOOOP NOT MY TWO PARENTS INTERACTING!!!
user9 taylor swift & y/n y/l/n... the best celebrity duo ever😻
user10 ur literally the people‘s pop princess
charles_leclerc Great concert!😍
user11 ARIANA WHAT R U DOING HERE
user12 lol user11 the fact that Ariana herself is under this post as well 😭
user13 not charles trying to shoot his shot with your queen
user14 Why is my fav f1 driver randomly commenting under Y/N's post?!🤠
user15 waiiittt does this mean he's been at the concert???
user16 omg NO WAYYYY🫢
user17 guys I think he was trying to flirt w her and you kinda ruined it💀
liked by charles_leclerc
user17 what the hell-
user18 you left a whole country speechless💗
user19 More like the whole world!!!
spotify WOW 🤩
user20 I wanna be Y/N so baaad
victoriassecret If you ever retire from singing, come and be our angel!💘
user21 so who's here just to first handedly look at charle's sus comment? admit it🤨
user22 meeee
user23 I thought I'm the only one 😭
user24 well when you put it like that user21...
user25 I wish I could repost comments on ig 😃
user26 🫢🫢
user27 Yeah me too guys
user28 honestly i'm not even ashamed🤷‍♀️
user29 Models are lucky you’re not a model
user30 FR
user31 BRASIL IS WAITING FOR YOU 🇧🇷❤️
user32 i seriously dont get the hype she has 🖕
user33 Then go away lol
user34 I can sense the formula one side of twitter is going to eat this upppp
user35 It's so funny how the crazy fan girls can get hyped over one comment... like be fr yn is a world famous singer ofc charles knows about her and can be her fan 🙄
user36 yeah plus I think she said herself she knows him too and is f1 fan bc she watched it with her dad or smth
user37 OMG they're each other's fans?!🥺 Idgaf about being crazy fan girly if it means we'll get this romance story!!!
user38 UR STYLIST DESERVES A RAISE 'CAUSE DAAAMN😘
user39 maybe i'm broke now but this concert was worth the money
twitter
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interview with Charles
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twitter
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instagram direct messages between Y/N and Charles
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charles_leclerc posted on instagram
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liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, yourusername, shawnmendes and 2,590,231 others
charles_leclerc Good days off. ❤️
view all 4,385 comments
user1 no way a woman made it to his babygirl filter instagram feed😧
user2 it's not a woman anymore... it's THE woman
user3 Uhmm...who is that girl?? In the second picture??
user4 I have a feeling that it's Y/N Y/L/N 🤭
user4 No way oh my god?!
user5 calm down guys it isn't confirmed or anything😑
carlossainz55 You are giving everybody a headache mate
liked by the author and yourusername
user6 you tell him carlito!!!!!
user7 OMG look at who liked his comment😃
user8 WAKE UP NEW PHOTOS OF CHARLES DROPPED 🗣🗣
user9 ehm charlie honey... who is that???🧐
user10 Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/NNNN
user11 Manifesting in real life lmao
user12 whats hapeningggggg
user13 he isn't single anymore 💔💔
user14 but it's y/n ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
user15 I hope so 😔❤️‍🩹
user16 What a way to start my day
user17 i literally spat out my morning coffee
user18 this is such a random soft launch help😭
user19 You see, I know that blonde hair from somewhere... 😏
user20 DAMN
user21 sorry not sorry but that's clearly y/n in the third pic🤷‍♀️
user22 💯💯💯🥇🏆
scuderiaferrari Let's rock the next Grand Prix!❤️‍🔥
liked by the author
charles_leclerc ❤️‍🔥
user23 ADMIN TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW RN
user24 interesting choice of emoji that's associated with y/n and the heart on tour 🥸🥸
user23 SUS
user24 Hard smash
user25 i love that even while soft launching he can't let go of the aesthetic filter he uses for his whole ig💀
joris__trouche lol true
user25 ohhh hi joris😭
user26 Idk who she is and tbh idgaf 'cause she's hooot 🥵😩
twitter
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yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by charlec_leclerc, f1, emilia_clarke, pascale.leclerc.355 and 8,016,555 others
tagged: scuderiaferrari
yourusername cruising down the street in my red car, feeling the wind whisper secrets, oh so far. 💄🎸🏎
view all 19,120 comments
user1 i never knew i needed ferrari coded y/n to live till we got her 😩
yourusername me neither babes
user1 oh my god what does that meeaaannn???!!!
user2 pop princess is living the dream so happy for you and all of your success
scuderiaferrari Everybody is a Ferrari fan ❤️
yourusername ofc!!🫡
user3 Yes we are... just pls stop giving us depression
user4 ohhh the caption screams NEW SONG
user5 right?! it's giving ✨lyrics✨
user6 let's pray for a release soon
user7 🙏🙏🙏
charles_leclerc Red suits you ❤️
liked by the author
user8 omg
yourusername wonder why ❤️
user8 OMG
user9 i dont want to be delusional... but c'mmon they gotta be dating
user10 THIS FEEL LIKE A HISTORICAL MOMENT YALL🤭
user11 ...so we're not talking about how the gp ended (or started) for charles, right?🥲
user12 idk what you're talking about🥲
user13 formation lap? naaaah it didn't happen🥲
user14 um so like you’re actually perfect
spotify you are GLOWING 🤩
user15 mommy- sorry... mommy-sorry... MOTHER
lilymhe my girl crush strikes again
liked by the author
user16 she's just like us xd
user17 I can't blame you Lily😌
user18 PLS I'M BEGGING YOU TELL US IF UR DATING CHARLES OR NOT
user19 Yall think she's real?😍
user20 congrats on dating our babygirl driver y/n!
user20 (delulu is the solulu if you're wondering)
user21 Does Charles' mom in the likes mean something??🤔
user22 i bet he talks about y/n at home 😏
user23 you two are making me too obsessed with this couple that isn't even couple and their family relationships
user22 isn't couple YET!
user24 That's the thinking I like user22 😂
user25 ICONIC❤️‍🔥
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yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by maxverstappen1, sophiet, charles_leclerc, kellypiquet and 11,920,374 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername secret's out i guess... love u with my whole heart and i'll be forever glad you went to my concert!💝
speaking of music, he's also my muse y'all so be prepared for new album coming soon 😚
view all 20,199 comments
user1 AAGGHAHGDGADGASDHJGAD
user2 only acceptable reaction
user1 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M MORE EXCITED ABOUT THEM DATING OR Y/N MAKING NEW ALBUM TBH
user2 again, only acceptable reaction
charles_leclerc Proud of you mi amor!😘
liked by the author
yourusername and i'm proud of you too honey 🥹🫶
user3 they're so sweet I caaaaan't
user4 FINALLY!!!! big congrats to you both
arthur_leclerc How did he even get you to date him?😆
yourusername let's say your big bro can be charming when he wants to... 😌
arthur_leclerc Okay NO NEED for details😅
yourusername xdd
user5 MY ROMAN EMPIRE
user6 everybody's roman empire im afraid😍
user7 how can you both be so damn hot?!
carlossainz55 Does this mean free tickets? 😏
yourusername we'll se about that
landonorris pls y/n
danielricciardo hiiii y/n
alex_albon think of my gf y/n
yourusername okay okay you convinced me
maxverstappen1 I bet it was Alex's comment that convinced you
yourusername ...no need to expose me like that max emilian ☹️
user8 they're the IT couple
user9 Look at how cute Charlie looks in the 5th photo🥰
user10 OMG YEEES
user11 hey am I the only one who's instagram is glitching and not working???
user12 loool Y/N and Charles broke the internet😭
user13 Yeah and they took it too literally 'cause my ig is acting weird as well 💀
user15 look at my fav couple 😻
user16 I hope she'll bring him luck in the next f1 season
scuderiaferrari Everybody is an Y/N fan ❤️
liked by the author
charles_leclerc 🫡
user17 FACTS!!!
user18 mommy and daddy right there
user19 idgaf about her and Charles THE QUEEN IS WORKING ON MORE SONGS YEEEES
f1 Welcome to the family Y/N! 🫶
liked by the author and charles_leclerc
user20 she's the best wag ever 💕
user21 THE MOMENT I WAITED FOR IS HERE
user22 I'm looking at the third photo respectfully 🤭
user23 i love this soft side of Charles omg🥺
user24 righttt? he should post photos like this as well, its better than those professional ones on his profile
user25 Totally agree with this
user26 my jaw dropped but I'm happy about it
user27 idk but charles & y/n definitely won my heart
user28 😍😍
user29 NEW ALBUUUUM
user30 Y/N Y/L/N you'll be forever famous!❤️‍🔥
BONUS
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Enchanted Wheels by Y/N Y/L/N (lyrics):
Cruising down the street in my red car,
Feeling the wind whisper secrets, oh so far.
Monaco lights, they dance in the night,
As I search for a love that feels so right.
In this city so bright, I'm lost in the haze,
But I know deep inside, I'll find my soul's maze.
I'm chasing dreams, like chasing the moon,
In this journey, I'll find my love soon.
Enchanted wheels taking me away,
Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.
In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,
Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.
Driving through the streets, past midnight's hour,
Looking for heartbeats that give me the power.
In every stranger's eyes, I see fleeting sparks,
But I won't settle for less, only love from the heart.
Monaco's captivating, but love's the real deal,
I won't let go until my heart can finally heal.
The city's alive with endless possibilities,
Somewhere out here, there's a love meant for me.
Enchanted wheels taking me away,
Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.
In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,
Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.
I've been searching high and low,
Through the crowds, I hope you'll show.
I believe in fate, destiny's plan,
Perhaps you're just one turn away, my soul's lifeline.
Enchanted wheels taking me away,
Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.
In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,
Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.
With every passing mile, my hope grows stronger,
In this journey for love, I won't wait any longer.
Enchanted wheels, lead me to my greatest win,
In Monaco, I'll find my soulmate, love from within.
THE END
Author's Note: Wow, this took m longer than expected (and the worst part was finding that one picture that somehow matches Charles' instagram filter), but I'm really satisfied with the result. Hope you liked this social media au and once again, I'll be grateful for likes, comments, reblogs, follows and every other way of showing your support. Also a little disclaimer: I didn't write the whole song, just a part of it and then helped myself with AI because I'm not really good in songwriting. Though I'm still curious if you liked the bonus, so let me know. Good night! :)
760 notes · View notes
ghost-in-the-hall · 1 year ago
Text
Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part IV
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Happy Halloween everyone!! I'm so happy I get to share this all with you today, I was really hoping to get out an update for Halloween 😂😂 I hope you all enjoy, I love reading everyone's comments, thank you so much!! If you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know!!
WARNINGS: None, a fluffy evening with III
Thank you as always to @spookyghostjelly for beta reading, you're amazing and I love you so much ❤️❤️❤️
Part III - Part V
My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You stuck close to II's side as you made your way up to the front of the store. Who you assumed was IV peeked out behind III's shoulder, the taller man ushering him to the front. "He's very excited to meet you, he's just a bit nervous." II chuckles. "He has a tendency to get a bit worked up but I promise he's very nice." You step closer to him, a shy smile on your face. He bends down slightly, bringing his face a lot closer to yours as you lock eyes. His gaze was a lot softer than the others but still gave you that same warm feeling in your chest as he studied you.
"It's nice to finally meet you." He smiles, a cheerful tone in his voice. "You guys were right, she is really pretty." What followed IV's statement was a mix of throats being cleared, eyes being averted, and Vessel quickly trying to change the subject.
"I see the two of you got a lot done already, what else do you need help with?" You giggle at their flustered states.
"It's nice to meet you too, IV. Everything just needs to be put away, III's been a very big help." He straightens up proudly at your compliment. You sat on the counter, the four of them rotating to keep you company while the others worked.
"I told you, you just take it easy tonight. We'll handle it." Vessel chuckles as you complain for what must have been the millionth time about how you should be helping.
"Well if you all insist on doing this at least let me cook you dinner." You counter.
"Maybe I'll take you up on that." He smirks slightly before going to help the others. Noticing you were alone prompted IV to jog over.
"Do you mind if I sit with you?" He asks sweetly. You move over, patting the spot next to you. He hops up with ease, even sitting down he still towered over you. "Your store's very organized." He comments, looking out to the other three as they worked, his heels bumping off the counter as he swung his feet slightly.
"Thank you, I try to run a neat ship." You giggle.
"I'm sorry if calling you pretty earlier made you uncomfortable." He shoots you an apologetic and almost bashful expression.
"It's okay." You smile, nudging his shoulder slightly. "I'm happy you finally came by, now I've officially met the whole crew." You joke causing IV to laugh. The four of them finished up quickly, before you knew it you found yourself smiling at the whirlwind of energy that filled your apartment.
"You need any help?" III asks as he leans against the counter.
"You've done more than enough, just relax." The two of you exchange a soft smile. "Also, thank you for fixing me up earlier." You return your focus to what you were cooking, hoping III wouldn't notice your slightly flustered appearance.
"No problem. How's the hand?" He asks as he holds out his own, wanting to examine it himself.
"Barely even feel it." Your breath freezes in your lungs as his fingers ghost over your skin. You glance up at him through your lashes. His blue eyes focused intently on the bandage he was readjusting. His gaze slowly trails up your arm to your face, your heart beginning to hammer in your chest.
"You have something just," he points to the spot on his own face. You attempt to wipe it away a couple times before he chuckles. "Would it be alright if I got it?" You nod. III's warm hand cupped your cheek, his thumb slowly dragged across your skin. "There… beautiful." You couldn't help but blush, your expression causing III to breathe out a laugh as his eyes crinkle in a smile. You jumped slightly as the timer on the stove went off. III reluctantly pulled his hand away, you trailed after his touch, already missing the warmth he provided. "I'll let them know the food's done." He says before disappearing into the other room. It was nice having company for once. Instead of you having dinner alone, your dining room was filled with excited conversations and loud laughter. As you cleaned up that night you almost didn't want them to leave.
"Thank you for having all of us for dinner, that was very sweet of you." Vessel says kindly.
"It's the least I could do after all the work you guys did today." You smile.
"We're happy to help. You've been nothing but kind since I met you. If there's anyone we'd want to help, it would be you." 
"This apartment hasn't been this lively in a long time," you muse with a hum. "It was a really nice change." 
"Well… I have a feeling that this," he vaguely motions to your apartment. "Is going to be happening a lot more often." He laughs as he starts to head out of the kitchen. 
"Vessel?" He pauses. "Did you ever figure out why you think we were fated to meet each other?"
He shakes his head with a small smirk, "no, but I'm starting to get a pretty good idea." You trailed behind him as he re-enters your living room, the hushed whispers of the other three coming to a halt immediately. Vessel eyes them all with a knowing expression. "Alright, we should probably get out of your way. (Y/N), I will see you tomorrow." He bows his head slightly as he heads for the door. II and IV both say their goodbyes and follow him outside, leaving you alone with III.
"I'll be right down." He calls after them. III towered over you in the doorway, looking down at you with intoxicatingly beautiful blue eyes. He leans down to bring him almost face level with you, his forearm resting against the wall as he leaned in close. "Can I take you somewhere tomorrow night? Just you and me?" Despite how confident he was coming off you could hear the slight nervous tremor in his voice.
"What did you have in mind?" Excitement radiates off of him at your response.
"There's a drive-in I saw the other night, it looks like they have some sort of monster movie marathon tomorrow night… I think we'd have fun." You hear II call for him from outside.
“I’d love to go.” His hand slips into yours, tugging you the slightest bit closer. His thumb ran over your knuckles as his gaze trapped you in place.
“Goodnight, doll.” He smiles before suddenly pulling away. “Quit your yelling, I’m coming!” He calls down the stairs to an annoyed II. You couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off your face as you watched them drive away. You grew nervous as the end of your shift ticked closer. Vessel and III slipped into the store right before closing as usual, III giving you a casual wink but not saying a single word. As they both stood at the counter his eyes kept meeting yours, a flustered smile finding its way to your face. The bell rings as Vessel exits the store, III quickly leaning in to whisper something to you. “I’ll be back in about an hour.” He says with a smile before hurrying out after Vessel. You wrapped your jacket tightly around you as you stood outside in the brisk night air. His truck rumbled up in front of you, he immediately jumped out to greet you.
“Hey III.” He sweeps you into a tight hug.
“You ready?” He asks excitedly. You nod in response, he takes your hand as he opens the passenger door of the truck for you, helping you inside. The worn leather seat shook in time with the truck's engine, the cab lit up in a soft yellow glow from the radio. III slid into the driver's seat, his eyes flashing to you as a soft smile lit up his features. He noticed you rubbing your arms, still looking perfectly content despite the weather.
“I brought a blanket in case you get cold, the heat in the truck doesn’t work that well, but I promise I’ll keep you warm.” He chuckles, your cheeks immediately growing warm at the statement. He fiddled with the temperature in the truck for a moment, nothing really changing before he gave up. He groans in annoyance, pausing to think of a solution. He looks over at you, eyes trailing over your much smaller form. He holds one side of his jacket open, beckoning you closer with his free hand. You slid closer to him, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he pulled you into his warmth. "There, how's that?"
"This is fine." You stutter out, trying your best to hide your flustered state. You found yourself relaxing into him, his thumb rubbing your shoulder languidly, both of your eyes trained on the road ahead of you as you wound through the collage of vibrantly colored leaves. "Thank you for asking me to come with you." You suddenly pipe up. 
"Thank you for coming with me." He responds softly. "I was honestly a bit worried to ask you."
"What? Why?" You ask in a tone of disbelief, a small laugh lacing its way into your words as you slowly start to relax.
"Some random man in a mask comes up and asks you to spend time alone with him-"
"Well you're not some random man in a mask, III." You cut him off, both of you sharing a laugh. You lean your head on his shoulder, "besides, I enjoy your company… it's just nice to have someone that I want to spend time with, I guess." You glance up at him with a coy smile.
"Well if it's any consolation, I think you're pretty great and I want to spend time with you too." You giggle as you feel him nudge your side. You pulled into the drive-in, the teenager in charge of admission was too interested in their cellphone to pay much mind to the man in the mask before them.
"You're all set, man." They wave the two of you through as they take the cash, not bothering to look up from the screen. You pulled in to find the lot nearly empty, a few cars sporadically parked as far away from each other as possible.
"Lucky us, we get a private showing." You say in a giddy tone.
"I'm sorry I can't go get you popcorn, Vessel already didn't want me coming to somewhere so public as it is." You were about to assure him that it was fine, if anything you could always run over to the concession stand to get the snacks, but III never gave you the chance. "Excuse me, doll." He leans over your lap to retrieve something from the floor, his face hovering centimeters from yours, you pressed yourself back into the seat. You weren't uncomfortable being this close to him, but the warmth from his body, the smell of his cologne, you were having trouble thinking. He grabs a backpack from the floor of the truck, setting it in his lap before pulling out various snacks you had witnessed him purchase earlier in the day from your store. You can't help but smile as he lines up each kind on the dashboard. "I wasn't sure what kind of candy you liked so I grabbed a few different ones."
"You're so sweet, thank you." Your eyes meet his, making you feel like all the air has been sucked from your lungs.
"I just wanted to make sure you had a good time." He explains softly. He reaches out, carefully taking your hand in his. 
"How could I not? I'm here with you." The night was perfectly still around you. The faint crackling of the truck's old radio and the slight chill from its sputtering heater were lost to you at the moment. The only thing that mattered in your mind was III; how warm his hand felt wrapped around yours, how your heart fluttered in your chest as his attention dropped to your lips. His head dipped slightly, his warm breath pushing through the mask to fan over your skin, his fingers nervously fidgeting with the edge of the black fabric. You squeezed his hand, letting him know that, whatever was about to happen here, you welcomed it. He hooked a finger into his mask, beginning to pull it away from his face when the speakers suddenly blared to life, startling you apart. Your hand pulled away from his, folding then neatly in your lap as both of you stared straight ahead at the screen. "I'm sorry-"
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make things weird-"
"You didn't." Both of you fell silent at your reassurance.
"Can I still hold you? It's nice having you close." He admits bashfully. You nod, leaning into his side. He rests his cheek on the top of your head, his arm sliding back around your shoulders. The two of you sat completely engrossed through every movie; holding his hand in yours as the intense music swelled, giggling at the cheesy yet adorable special effects of 1930's cinema, the evening culminating with you struggling to stay awake as you cuddled into III's chest on the ride home. You sat up and stretched with a groan as you pulled around the back of the store. III's gaze darted anywhere besides you as he fidgeted with his seatbelt. "I had a really nice night with you." He smiles.
"I did too." Your hand slips into his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Maybe, next time, I can plan something." His eyes finally meet yours.
"Next time?" You could hear the excitement laced in his tone. "Yeah, that sounds great." The two of you sat there for a little while longer, neither of you knowing what to say, his thumb rubbing gently over your knuckles.
"I should probably head in." You say reluctantly. "Goodnight, III."
"Goodnight, (Y/N)." He responds. As you go to get out he gives your hand one final squeeze, bringing your attention back to him. "Wait, can you… this is going to sound really strange, but can you close your eyes?" You nod, keeping your hand in his as you allow your eyes to slide shut. You heard the soft shuffling of fabric before a warm pair of lips pressed themselves to your cheek. The kiss was very brief, you barely had time to process what had happened before it was over. But, it still managed to leave you feeling so warm. A flustered giggle fell from your lips as you finally registered the kiss, squeezing III's hand. "You can open them." You turn to find him smiling under his mask, memorizing the adorable expression on your face. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight." You let your eyes wander over his face one last time before getting out of the truck. You jogged up the stairs, fighting with your keys for a moment before managing to unlock the door. You wave down to him as he pulls away. You lean against the door with a sigh as it shuts behind you, absolutely giddy over the fact you could still feel III's lips lingering in your skin. Thinking of the night with him your mind wandered back to the time you had spent with II, the soft glances and hushed conversations that caused your heart to thrum with anticipation. How you currently found a spark between you and both of these men. Groaning, you card your hands through your hair as you shuffle deeper into your apartment. There was nothing you could do but wait to see what tomorrow would bring.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag List: @spookyghostjelly @herripinkle @thepoisonedchalice @saturnhas82moons @wingsofeternitysstuff @creamwhxre @itsyagirl-snowflake @themultiverseofmars @bookishpenguino @m0cha-bunny @coreofpleasure @madsthenightowl @dangerkitten1705 @rainy-darling @shad0wcast @amara-among-the-stars @venuswinnyix @dontpercieve-me-pls @mustluvecho @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe @jumpcauseimfroggy (I think that's everyone, if I missed you, you'd like to be added, or you're one of the few who's @'s didn't work {I can't figure out why that happened} please let me know!)
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manikas-whims · 2 months ago
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Xavier — Floral Blessing 🔖 | thoughts
THIS HAS BECOME ONE OF MY FAVORITE XAVIER 5 STAR CARDS, ALONG WITH PRECIOUS BONFIRE AND 21 DAYS.
I love fluff and romance. And this card was all about that growing intimacy and expression of feelings.
AND I LOVE THE CALLBACKS IN THIS CARD. THERE'S JUST SO MANY 🥺 THAT CONNECT TO XAVIER'S LORE, AND ADD TO IT.
i made a separate post about them, you can see HERE if you want
⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️
This whole moment where Xavier places his hand over MC's in order to teach her calligraphy is so sweet and intimate.
Every other flower goddess was third wheeling so bad 😭
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XAVIER ALWAYS HOLDS A POSITION OF AUTHORITY, NO MATTER THE ERA.
And the way he got adopted by this rich, mansion owner merely due to his calligraphy skills??? He really is good at anything he tries 😌✨
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The way MC doesn't want anyone to misunderstand her (as Flower Goddess) relationship with the Young Master.
Meanwhile Xavier does not give a fuck 😂 boldly claiming she holds a special place in his heart 🥹
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Xavier saying “guess everyone knows now” whilst cheekily leaning against the wall is so teen boyish of him 🤭
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Xavier and MC attending classes together is such a sweet callback to Xavier's 3rd Anecdote where Him and MC on Philos attend classes together 🥹
He may not be as good as Rafayel but I would love to have Xavier's doodles of me 🫶
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I love these moments of casual intimacy ♡ sprinkled throughout this card.
the act of MC anxiously grabbing Xavier's arm, and Xavier taking her hand in his own reflect on how far they've come in terms of their relationship in our present timeline.. it's almost as if they're together (in a relationship).
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XAVIER WILL NOT MISS ANY OPPORTUNITY 🤭
He sees an opening (the sour tasting flower cake) and attacks, immediately sneaking a kiss 🤭
And he's so chill about it too. I love him sm y'all ♡
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THEIR CONVERSATION ABOUT HOMESICKNESS
I love that though not directly but he admits that his home is far in the distance..
BUT!
For Xavier home is also about a sense of belonging and here he clearly states that MC being by his side is enough i.e. MC IS HIS HOME 😭❤️
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Xavier laying his head in MC's lap and MC gently massaging his forehead.. THEY'RE SO MARRIED!
The casual domesticity and intimacy in this card means everything to me 😩🤌
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Another moment I really loved was MC's hair getting tangled in the hairpin and Xavier helping untangle it..
See it's really these simple gestures that are treated as ordinary but are actually the foundation of a beautiful relationship. And I love that this card was just a treasure trove of these tiny moments 🥺
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MC being at peace whilst dancing because she knows that amongst the crowd, there's someone whose eyes are only on her (and no other flower goddess)
THAT'S A LOYAL MAN. A MAN COMPLETELY SMITTEN BY HIS GIRL 😌
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Finally they go to make wishes together!
Xavier lifting us up in his arms is like a cherry on top after all those casually intimate moments throughout this card..😩🤌
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And we know what happens here 🤭
Idk..if I were in MC's place, then his hand on the back of my thigh would've sent shivers.. I'd be ticklish and flustered, trying to hold my breath
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the way his face is bent so close, probably his warm breath tickling her skin 😩
He definitely thought about lowering his lips and planting a kiss right on that spot..
But resisted the urge and pulled away at the last moment 🤭
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Now when it's time to reward the Gem (protocore), I love how Xavier gently unties MC's mask and his eyes just never waver from her's 🥺
From Xavier's 3rd Anecdote
When the Shooting Stars fall
“According to the First Law of Cosmic Attraction, when a person unwittingly looks at someone, there's a 98.8% chance it's because he's looking at you too.”
And we can see how significant it is for Xavier that we hold him with as much regard in our eyes, as does he to us 🥺
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And of course..
It's been hammered into our minds over and over, with every card..that the most important thing for Xavier is his time spent together with MC. And the way MC lights up his world..he wants to return that..he wants to be equally (if not more) significant in MC's life..
Thus, the card ends with these beautiful words from Xavier, about him wanting to be our sanctuary, our safe haven until the end of time 🥺
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cal-flakes · 1 year ago
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hiii could you do something with rafe and a beach day please? love ur fics sm ❤️❤️❤️
thank you lovely <3 i am living for these fluff concepts, KEEP EM COMIN xxxx
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╰┈➤ beach day with soft!rafe hc’s
warnings: a tad nsfw if you squint, fluff overload
: ̗̀➛ rafe was like an excited puppy when y/n finally told him what she wanted to do for her birthday this year.
: ̗̀➛ she wanted to spend the full day at the beach.
: ̗̀➛ why? he had no idea, but if that was all she wanted to do he was going to make sure it was the best day ever.
: ̗̀➛ he’d wake her up at first light, having planned out the whole day.
: ̗̀➛ “hey birthday girl, time to get up..”
: ̗̀➛ “baby, it’s three in the morning..”
: ̗̀➛ “yeah, we’re going to see the sunrise, come on..”
: ̗̀➛ and while she got up and got dressed, he’d pack the car.
: ̗̀➛ he’d make sure to bring everything they would need to spend the day at the beach.
: ̗̀➛ a cooler for snacks and drinks, a disposable barbecue, fire wood, blankets, towels, changes of clothes, one of his hoodies because he knew she preferred his.
: ̗̀➛ and lastly, a birthday cake, made specially for her.
: ̗̀➛ when he told her he’d planned every second of the day, he really meant it.
: ̗̀➛ once he’d finished packing, he headed upstairs to collect her.
: ̗̀➛ “c’mon angel, let me carry you to the car”
: ̗̀➛ he carried his sleepy princess to his range rover, making sure she was comfortable and buckled in safely.
: ̗̀➛ the half hour drive to the beach went by quickly as she dozed off in the passenger side.
: ̗̀➛ rafe chose a small beach on the island, one where they wouldn’t be bothered too much.
: ̗̀➛ putting his car in park, he peppered kisses over her face as she stirred awake.
: ̗̀➛ “birthday celebrations start now pretty girl, c’mon”
: ̗̀➛ he chuckled as she stumbled out of the car in a sleepy daze.
: ̗̀➛ early mornings were quite chilly in kildare, so she’d opted for a pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie over the top of her bikini.
: ̗̀➛ he held her hand graciously as she followed closely behind him, careful not to fall.
: ̗̀➛ she settled on top of a towel while rafe set everything up around them, leaving a few pieces in the car that they wouldn’t need until later.
: ̗̀➛ he’d even brought pillows, and while she adored his thoughtfulness, she dreaded having to get the sound out of them once they got home.
: ̗̀➛ finally situated, they cuddled on top of the towels and blankets, watching the stars as the waves crashed further down the beach.
: ̗̀➛ instead of watching the sunrise, he chose to watch her instead, his heart fluttering as the bright gleam reflected in her eyes.
: ̗̀➛ “what are you looking at?”
: ̗̀➛ “you”
: ̗̀➛ once the sun had claimed it’s spot in the sky, the heat began to settle over the outerbanks, resulting in y/n frantically removing her comfy clothes.
: ̗̀➛ “oh my god, too hot! too hot! m’gonna die”
: ̗̀➛ rafe eyed the pink bikini she’d chosen for the day, observing how it hugged and complimented her curves.
: ̗̀➛ “do you have a boner?”
: ̗̀➛ “angel, i always have a boner when im with you..”
: ̗̀➛ around eleven, the sun had reached its peak, provoking y/n to apply the sun cream rafe had brought.
: ̗̀➛ “here, let me do it princess”
: ̗̀➛ “rafe, im a big girl, i can do it myself”
: ̗̀➛ “shh, todays your special day, you’re not lifting a finger”
: ̗̀➛ y/n moaned slightly as rafe straddled her bum, massaging her back.
: ̗̀➛ “baby, if you don’t stop that im going to fuck you right here..”
: ̗̀➛ lots of beach sex.
: ̗̀➛ after a while of sunbathing and reading, the pair decided to go for a swim.
: ̗̀➛ y/n tied her hair back as she waded through the light waves, enjoying the warmth of the water.
: ̗̀➛ rafe dove in immediately, thrashing about like a child.
: ̗̀➛ y/n looked around, frantic, when rafe disappeared beneath the surface.
: ̗̀➛ shrieking as he suddenly pulled her under by her legs.
: ̗̀➛ “you’re an asshole, you know that right?”
: ̗̀➛ “yeah…but you love it”
: ̗̀➛ making out in the ocean was a must.
: ̗̀➛ “you know, there’s nobody here yet..” she whispered suggestively.
: ̗̀➛ rafe didn’t even need to respond, immediately pulling her bikini bottoms aside.
: ̗̀➛ they spent the whole day like that, in and out of the sea, sunbathing, reading, eating.
: ̗̀➛ by nightfall, they’d watch the sunset together, y/n inbetween rafe’s legs, resting against him.
: ̗̀➛ “i’ve had the best day, thank you rafe”
: ̗̀➛ “anything for you angel”
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stepswowdsen · 1 month ago
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【KagePro】 KuroEne 🖤💙💗
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I have too much power. I'm unstoppable 💥💥💥
Choose your favourite version of XX/6 🖤💙🐍🐇🫶
Ty to Feila for giving me the idea~ 💗
I think the first one looks the best in terms of positioning (how the images crop and fit in the frame)
I love the Playing Card chibi arts (so I originally did it with them), but it doesn't fill up the frames unfortunately. So I also did it with other arts too
Not right now ofc but I really wanna make plushie designs of them and my other top fave ships one day...
I have the video versions for all of these, but Tumblr doesn't let me upload more than one video per post
So I just uploaded the GIF versions.
Rambles
F: Imagine this GIF but XanLena
Me: Omg this would be so cute to do with XanLena…
F: You close the locket, they kith :3
F: LMAO DO IT
Me: THAT'S A GOOD IDEA OMG. I should do it with KuroEne's other official arts as well
F: LMAOAO YYEESS
...
Me: So tempted to do this with my ships
Put the meow meow mf on one side and their S/O on the other and then BOOM when the heart locket closes, they kiss!!!
(This was Feila's idea)
C: You should hahjtsh
Me: I'M A GENIUS
C: LOL
Me: KuroEne Kiss
Based on your ideas with XanLena earlier
F: THEY DID IT
THEY KISSED
THEY HITFHDHDH
Me: I felt :) the whole time while making these… I love them sm
Now all I gotta do is make these with other arts of KuroEne, XanLena, JuAli, IdaTatsu, and LimGuda. We need multiple versions of these for each of them
F: You definitely got an addiction but I support it 🔥
...
Feila suggested to make the GIF with XanLena, my KHR AU yume (Canon/OC) ship of XanLena (Xanxus/Selena) ❤️💜
So I took the opportunity to make them for my faves! I'll be posting the ones with XanLena, JuAli, IdaTatsu, and LimGuda separately!
Could you imagine plushies of them. Goddd I seriously need to make plushies of them in the future...
I want to have dolls of my fave ships one day where you can dress them up, so I can dress them in custom clothes and change their outfits from time to time :3
It'd be sooo cute for my OTPs to share a scarf together (if possible)
The best part about being able to draw for me is that I can fuel my fave chara/ship shenanigans 🤸 Yayyy!
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Me making my KuroEne plushies kiss like barbie dolls 😚💘
And the same for my other ships!
#kagepro#kagerou project#kuroha#enomoto takane#takane enomoto#ene#saeru#me ga saeru hebi#saeru hebi#black konoha#dark konoha#kuroene#saeene#kuroha x ene#saeru x ene#dark konoha x ene#black konoha x ene#Not right now obviously but I wanna design plushies for KuroEne and my fave ships one day. I love them all dearly#Because I was thinking that I would love to have physical merch of them. I'll make my faves kiss like barbie dolls ✌️💗#I would LOOOVE to dress them up and sit them next to each other... That's a huge dream of mine#I think KuroEne should be on the easier end of my fave ships since their designs are rather simple and less detailed in comparison?#I'm not used to drawing chibi compared to how I usually draw but I'll do anything for my faves don't underestimate me. I'm dedicated#I also wanna doodle some scenes from my KuroEne AU Route where MaryEne team up against Saeru. This Route has such a fun setup#So I wanna draw some snippets from it eventually. Ofc I'd love to draw more but my yapping outpaces my drawing speed unfortunately#That's why I do rambles/dialogue scripts. So I can remember my ideas and hope to draw them later when I get the time#This Route is super long so I haven't gotten the chance to sort all my dialogue scripts for it yet. My posts are archives of my Notion docs#I have some art concepts simmering in my head like KuroEne wearing Viet clothes cuz seeing my faves in traditional clothes makes me <3#And then a ball themed art where Kuroha drapes a black veil over the both of them and Ene wears a dress with a cage skirt aesthetic
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jayladfanpage · 2 months ago
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Thank you so much for your insights, they are lovely and so so helpful, sending so many many hearts to you. you are absolutely lovely, this is an emoticon of me holding those hearts.
❤️❤️❤️╰⁠(⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠´⁠꒳⁠`⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠) <{for u!}
I think I'll have to also pick what Robin Jason I am portraying since I'm very partial to Barr's run. Is it early Robin Jay? Is it 14-15 and his life is tumbling, he's more disillusioned than ever and 'secure' (don't know if that's the right word, basically more prone) enough to lash out to him. As you said, early post-crisis Jason has such deep trust in Bruce. How he got into Bruce's car just after the whole Ma gunn's plotline, and the 'Robin? Robin.' panel! That inherent trust in Bruce is so important. And the deconstruction of it and Bruce's adherence to a legal system + institutionalised justice is also so imp for a older Robin Jason.
Still. He'll trust him so much. That's important.
Thank you sm for your comments!! again!! RH is still a headache for me I think due to lack of reading haha. Lost Days + UTRH + Countdown to final Crisis are my current basis and I think I might be a little soft in my interpretation of him. Also! You're so right about the moral compass thing! I am now thinking morso on the lines of 'his morality is not dictated by a dogma but just whatever feelings he has.' so it's like more arbitrary than Bruce's impartial code and embedded in relationships, societal standings, his view of the world etc etc
I don't think that's ever changed even since childhood but his execution of it is currently also affected by grief, immense pain and so much more. Which doesn't make him wrong, but it doesn't make him right.
But yeah! I think I do go a little softer in my interpretation of 'Mr. 8 heads in a dufflebag' to a certain extent, I'm really happy I realised that! I'd love to make him more rounded with the atrocities he commits haha. He's a bleeding open wound! A flood of emotions! He's so open about it, he takes the lump in his throat and throws it into the fire for everyone to witness! I have to acknowledge that! He thinks he's right! Thank you for all those comments! Feel free to add anything more! Thank you so much for your suggestions and time!
— ヾ⁠(⁠*⁠’⁠O⁠’⁠*⁠)⁠/
Thank you for all the hearts!! I will treasure them :)
If you want to base your Robin mostly on Barr's run, I'd recommend going younger? Barr and Starlin were writing Robin Jason at pretty much the same time, but Starlin's feels older and heavier than Barr's run. So if you're going for sweet baby Jay i'd wager like 13 is a good age (which would be exactly 10 years in the past for Red Hood Jason! He's canonically 23 right now!) But older Jaybin would be more angst forward, and Red Hood would see all the things 15yo Jaybin is doing that will eventually lead to all the horrible things that happen to him. Up to what you want to achieve, really!
That thing about Jason's morality being based on his feelings is PERFECT! He's a deeply, deeply emotional person, and absolutely cannot view real life without the rose-colored glasses of his trauma and what he thinks is righteous anger.
You are very kind and it was/is a delight to help you!!! I would love to read the finished fic whenever you do post it (you're not forced to send it to me of course, I'm just saying this because I adore time travel AUs)
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aliveinacoffin · 1 year ago
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HII I LOVE YOUR FICS ❤️ CAN I REQUEST A PART 2 OF “MY OWN MIRROR” IF YOU CAN. THANK YOU 🫶
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My Own Mirror
Pt 2 of this fic, since I love feeding y'all. AND TY SM AWW
TW: Mentioned past child abuse, mentioned past brief descriptions of domestic violence
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There was another long stretch of silence, just as unbearable as the first if not more painful.
Shouta's tired eyes scanned the balcony, his eyes traveling from the weed to the makeshift roof. He shook his head, muttering to himself how the top was prohibited as well. He seemed deeply uncomfortable, the whole situation was something so out of his depth that even being here was painful.
"Do you even wonder? Do you even care?" Her voice was still wet, the waterworks still coming down her face, just at a considerably slower pace.
Shouta looked back at her, the young girl in front of him, with a sense of sadness and pity she'd never seen on him before.
"All the time. I...regret....not coming back for you, all those years ago, even now. I can't bear to look at you without being angry at myself." He admitted, head low and hands shaking.
Suddenly, a sense of realization hit the younger Aizawa like a ton of bricks. This whole time, Shouta was angry at himself and took it out on her instead of mourning the loss of his family. It made it more painful when both of them realized when they took into account that they both were just carbon copies of their late mother.
They both shared the same sharp nose as her, the same slightly curly jet-black hair, and the same hooded and dark eyes. Hell, even your erasing quirks came from her side of the family. Her quirk was that anyone who was within 20 feet of her would have their abilities damped, and when it was activated, low and behold, her eyes would glow.
"I'm sorry that I was never there. Father just...made it so impossible to even share the same room as him. I've regretted every moment that I left you behind with that man. I thought that now you were coming back to me was some sort of divine punishment. I've been the hardest on you because I couldn't bare to watch you fail too." Shouta's voice was tense, strained as he tried to hold back his own tears. He quickly brought a hand to his mouth, pulling down the skin of his face as he tried to will away his tears.
"All I ever wanted was to be with you. I always looked up to you, you escaped, and you made a better life for yourself like no one else in our family had." She admitted, a true admission of feelings from the depths of her heart. Her stance was still aggressive, feet spread apart and shoulders hunched as she protected her stomach. The more this painful conversation went on, the more her stomach ached. A trait from her fathers.
"I'm so sorry, you've had to suffer so long alone." Shouta looked away, pain etched into the very creases of his face.
Her teeth clenched as agony wracked her entire body, and she too avoided eye contact, not able to bare the look of vulnerability on her older brother's face.
"I-I.. don't have to..anymore now though, r-right?" Her voice cracked.
Shouta looked up at her once more, a sad surprise written on his face. His eyebrows furrowed down, and a sad frown pulled on his mouth. "N-no. No. Not anymore." He rested his arms uncomfortably at his side, and suddenly she rushed into his arms. His younger sister hugging onto his stiff form so tightly it almost hurt.
He relaxed in her hold and brought an arm to gently cradle her back.
___________________________________________
The afternoon was shining brightly, the sun setting made everything glow in an orange hue. The sounds of birds cawing and children laughing and chattering were heard all around U.A., a common thing for the high school.
Two people walked side by side with one another. An outsider might assume it was the result of a weird quirk, the people at U.A. thought it was a man and his daughter, but very few people knew the truth.
"So what does it mean again?" The younger sister asked black thick hair in a messy ponytail. Her long hair had been cut to a comfortable pixie cut, she had never really liked it long. Her once lanky form had been filling out slowly with her time at U.A. now that she had access to a proper diet and constant exercise.
The older brother sighed, tired eyes rolling once more. His hair was shoulder-length with a messy sort of fringe. "I have a foster parent certificate. I can house children in need of homes, and it shows I have the qualifications to do so. I can also adopt children of my own. But for our situation, I am merely acting as your temporary guardian until you turn of age." Shouta Aizawa sighed, turning to look at the younger Aizawa.
"Finally! Jesus, it took them long enough." She huffed, the same hooded eyes looking back at him. Her arms crossed over her strong chest. That was one thing that was different between them, while Aizawa was lean and quick, his younger sister was more built and stocky. Like their parents were.
"It's a long legal process with the necessary precautions. It would be foolish to just allow anyone with this license." He said, stating the facts per usual.
"Okay yeah sure, but it didn't have to take so damn long." She muttered angrily, lips forming a pout.
They walked to the teacher's dorm, and she awkwardly waved at all her mentors lounging around in the safe space. Some were caught off guard and scrambled to do something productive, while others just lazily waved at her back.
___________________________________________
"This is..kinda sad." The little Aizawa admitted, wandering around the older Aizawa's dorm. She immediately went to snooping and started rummaging around his few belongings.
"I didn't bring you here to judge me. My decorating is fine the way it is. No need to over-clutter my living space." He murmured grumpily, going over to the open kitchen to start a pot of coffee.
"Sureee. So, do I have to live with you now that you're my legal guardian?" She asked, her voice giving way to nothing of how she truly felt about that.
Since the two had started to build a relationship together, there were many bumps in the road. The biggest and foremost was their personalities. The older Aizawa acted like their late mother, her emotional unavailability and neglect are what shaped his apathetic nature and rather tired attitude. Whilst the other had grown up with their angry and headstrong father, his anger and physical abuse turned into her stubborn pride and unmovable nature.
Though that proved to be difficult to navigate at first, it soon turned into their own song and dance. Almost reminiscent of how their parents were with one another. But instead of screaming matches that turned to physical violence, they turn to angrily stare each other down.
"You don't have to if you don't want to." Shouta said, wary of what her response will be.
The youngest turned around, a determined grin on her face. "Guess I'll have to move all my stuff in here before the weekend ends, huh?" Her hands were on her hips, proud of her revelation.
He sighed and shook his head in mock disappointment, but a smile found its way to his lips. "If that's what you want." Shouta turned around to pour himself a cup of coffee.
"I see you smiling asshole!" His sister laughed, joy filling her teasing voice.
___________________________________________
Tag list :>: @hitokor
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itsbinghebitch · 1 year ago
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I was trying not to get involved in everything going on right now but after reading your last post I just felt I had to say something. Firstly you seem like a really mature and thoughtful person which is such a breath of fresh air in online spaces in general. The way you're handling the situation is really admirable and your words really resonated with me. I'm relatively new to this fandom (I watched KPTS after the shitshow in January) and, after learning what happened, I've done my best to keep my distance from the cast and BOC and just focus on the story and characters. Based on what I'd read about the case I was willing to give Build the benefit of the doubt but the recent leaked messages make that nearly impossible which is also preventing me from enjoying the series which I've come to love. What makes it worse is that I'm an artist who loves VegasPete and, just like you, every time I try to make art with them, I keep thinking about all the awful comments Build made about Bible and it feels plain wrong to draw them together. Even for someone like me who's not emotionally attached to the actors it's really hard to separate them from the characters and it's making my fandom experience pretty miserable. I have very complicated feelings about the whole ordeal - on one hand as a queer person like you I'm tired of people's homophobia and bigotry being swept under the rug, but on the other hand I've seen first hand what an abusive relationship can do to a person so I can't help but feel some compassion for him too. I truly hope he can reflect on his mistakes and heal and grow as a person. Maybe I'm just too old for celebrity culture and drama but I do feel the need to be able to discuss issues like this one in a calm and level headed manner instead of falling victim to black and white thinking and turning things into a witch hunt. Sorry for the rant and feel free to ignore this message, your post just really resonated with me and I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the matter. I hope you have a lovely day/night ❤️
thank u sm for this message.... i really appreciate you taking the time to write about your experience and i'm glad you felt like you could share ❤️
there isn't a clear-cut answer to the whole debacle. whoever tries to sell you one is a scammer or is speaking out of an emotionally clouded place (as i was last week lol).
taking a look back at everything, i think it's important to acknowledge:
1. multiple things can be true at once: you can feel hurt by build's comments and still feel sympathy for his predicament.
2. you should be able to discuss these things without feeling like you'll get, idk. fandom black points. or get blocked by everyone who thinks differently than you (which happened to me), or even hounded and hacked by people to the point of getting your blog shut down (which happened to blramblings).
3. it's really fucking hard to be a fandom creator in these circumstances. i'm really sorry to hear your art has been impacted. especially in the case of vegaspete, i tend to believe there was an "aura" inextricably linking biblebuild as actors to who they were representing on screen. no one but biblebuild could've been vegaspete for me. it was their contrasting facial features, it was in their on-screen rapport and chemistry for me. their choices in portraying the characters, the behind-the-scene interviews... that aura mesmerized me for an entire year literally. and it's not only fine to admit that the situation complicates your fandom art, it should be an *active conversation* we have as fandom creators. because let me tell you, i don't write fic on top of my insane job out of the goodness of my heart. it's because of that spark of joy i feel, that stepping out of the regular day to day. the moment that joy isn't there anymore, it becomes labor. and let me tell you one thing i DON'T do. it's FREE LABOR corporations fuck me on the daily already so why would i let them do it as a hobby too
so yeah thanks so much for sharing your thoughts <3 i rly rly appreciate it and sending you lots of good vibes. who knows what the future holds in store for us etc. etc. but we out here!!!
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anxious-witch · 1 year ago
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we still can't send asks from sideblogs? okay then
I just came here to say yes hello hi, I used to not care for soulmate fics and only got into them a year or two ago through a soulmate fic in another band fandom that also ripped my heart right out for many tens of thousands of words, and now here I am, feeling like a crushed bug in a useless class, ready to take a nap on the table or floor at 9:30 because I'd had the Inertia tab open for weeks now but always put it off because it was so long already and I didn't have time for it, and said yesterday night when I already should have gone to sleep "I'll just read the first chapter to get into it and then go to sleep" and idk how much later I have suddenly finished the whole fic and went through the full spectrum of human emotions while Jan slowly learns that maybe maybe he can let Nace in and he can talk to his friends about his soulmate troubles and they'll listen and be there for him even if they might metaphorically whack him over the head and tell him he's being a dick, and he's also going to therapy to work towards a better happier life with his friends and Nace as his friend and his soulmate and his boyfriend 🥰🥰🥰🥰
anyway I love so many things in each chapter, I hope I'll have time during the christmas break to go scream in the comments about each chapter and have my heart crushed and rebuilt in each chapter again ❤✨💖🥰🥺🌈
Apparently so, but dw, I also saw your reblog so I do know who you are 🤗
Funnily enough, I used to have a very similar view on soulmate au few years back, until a really good friend of mine didn't write the most heartbreaking soulmate au ever, and it was the best fanfic I read. After that I became kinda obsessed too, so it's nice to know I am participating in the cycle now 😂
Felt you sm about putting off a fic and then once you pick it up just reading it in one breath. I am honored my fic was one of those for you, that's a huge compliment.
I love writing through characters who go through the transformation, even if they only needed to realize they just need to let people care about them instead of pushing them away. For Jan, in this fic that isn't easy, so I'm really glad that roller-coaster of emotions is something that one can feel while reading.
I appreciate every comment so if you do decide to make them about parts you liked the best, that will definitely make me happy but this comment already means so much. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know you liked my fic ❤️
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zhongrin · 1 year ago
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Happy birthday Rin aaaaaa <33 I don't know you for long but in this short time you've always been nice to me and so friendly!! Also so sweet 💞💞 I really enjoy talking about our selfships with you!! And I really ship Meitham and Zhongrin - cuz of that I gifted ya 2 drabbles hehe <33 hope ya like them! Have a great day ahead and I hope you get everything you wished for! Hoping the next year's of yours will go smoothly and healthy!! ❤️
Now;; cuz of ya response from mawh ask - frfr like;; you always seem so nice on them <33 and then you even were an anon of me like fodhsndkdhjeke that was so cute doshwjkk 💞💞
Yes totally Rin hehe, do you play Obey me! too by any chance?
Dw Rin I give him enough kisses~
Just kidding. My heart belongs to Baizhu only. ❤️
Heh a bit too smitten even maybe fkebsiebnw (help it is?? I thought it's kinda annoying 🥹) LMAO RIN, so what day is it today?
*Zhongli standing in the distance with a proud smile on his face.* I think I can already explain it by myself hehe
Tbh I hate alcohol LMAO and my tolerance is pretty shit, I get drunk easily hehe oopsie (so Zhonglis alcohol tolerance is high?)
So ya don't have any children planned in your selfships?🤸💞 You already call him daddy - make him a real one Rin smh
OFC IT DOES RIN OFMG LIKE?? SITTING ON THE LAP OF SUCH A HANDSOME MAN?? RKDBSKIRBEJSIEHSBNSOFO BARKBARKWOOFWOOFAWOOGA I mean-
Awwww yes, do it again <33 and record it hehe
I once read that dogs can sense if someone is scared of them but idk if that's true but omfg;; your dog was so friendly then <333
I am sure the both of them will decide for you just right Rin, hehe <33 (help fkdhjsis but your selfships are so cute I can't dosbjsisns)
*dies* (it's great but kfmg omfg sidbsjjdbejs sometimes when Baizhu feels a bit chaotic he calls me "my future wife" and I and I and I lose it I really lose it I really lose it I really- *faints*)
Yes cuz of that I asked! Although you, ofc, can do your AU with your hubby's like they don't have a fanclub if ya want to 🥰
Alright alright no pressure <33 and omfg, my bestie would say 'Diluc' now, cuz she used to ship me with him and IDK WHY, but she enjoys it sm seeing Diluc as Baizhus competition
But if you would ask me, nawh. We don't have anyone who wants to destroy our relationship<33
aahhhhh thank you vi 💕 i enjoy talking about our selfships so much too!! you've been super friendly and welcoming and really indulging in my zhongrin and meitham selfship agenda, and i can't ever thank you enough!!!
truly a 'shared one braincell' moment 😭 i'm so amused bc it synced up so well like the same day i decided to haunt your inbox you decided to drop into mine THIS IS DESTINY I TELL YOU XD
i did actually! i used to! i love the lore and the characters but the game got too grindy for my taste and the lessons just got harder and harder and i got burnt out so i stopped playing oomph i think you probably can guess who i like lol-
yes yes (who said it's annoying??? i will kindly,.... persuade them to change their mind-) today is..... baivi day! i feel like terrorizing- i mean bullying- i mean lovingly indulge you with a very loving baizhu bot in the server <3
ok fine you win please carry me now-
SAME OMG VI WE CAN STICK TOGETHER AT PARTIES THEN literally i drank one small glass of apple cider one time and i got so sleepy i just crawled to bed and conked out. my family was so confused where i went (it was a new years party at home with the whole family kind of thing) (and yes, the dragon is a tank, the most he could get tipsy but never drunk drunk hlsdjfklsdf)
as of now not really! but perhaps one day with zhongli..... hehehe .......... yk what maybe i will. maybe i should start asking him to-
sitting on his lap, maybe with his hand on your thigh, or around your waist? either way you'll be pulled close onto his chest, his long hair slightly tickling your skin as baizhu's distinct scent along with some herbs surround you, making you feel right at home.... maybe even with his lips close to your ear, murmuring profound declarations of love? <3
i am so tempted to draw blushy!haitham now hsldkjflksdjf
she wassss i miss her ;w;
that they will hehe (I COULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOURS PLS)
*notes down in clipboard* uh huh uh huh continue ;)
that is true.... perhaps not on this teahouse!au but on a parallel universe mayhaps pantalone and zhongli are silently playing 4d chess trying to win my heart hsldkfjslkdf
omg you know what would be super funny. it's a third party scenario who wants to separate you but it's bc of wholesome reasons. imagine being kaveh's younger sister and wanting to romance al haitham. wheeze. kaveh would be like "WHY HIM PLEASE NO YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER" lmao
love triangles are just a cute lil concept in fics bc omg??? two guys??? fighting over lil old me?? instant ego boost fr
diluc and baizhu huh... it's extra funny to me bc their elements don't match at all helphsldkfjsd
ah ok good good *quietly stashes vortex vanquisher back to its display*
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applesfallingfromblondehair · 4 months ago
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Sooo many thoughts about the baby gays!
Ross and Matty are getting. It. On!! If this would’ve happened 2 chapters ago I would’ve been screaming and kicking my feet but now I couldn’t help but feel bad for matty even during this part. Bc it’s so obvious that Matty’s obsessed with Ross, with the whole jealousy thing too! (Why is jealous Matty kinda 🫦😂) and when he was going on about beginners luck and lots of googling my heart broke a little 🥲
Back to my team now: Poor George 🥺🥺🥺 I feel sm for him :(( It better really be pens fault that his family knows 👀👀 I feel like in vulnerable moments I’m always reminded that he’s the youngest of them after all.
And I’m SO torn about the whole love triangle thing because at this point every single one of them has made a mistake and has been untruthful to some extent but Ross mistake still feels like the biggest one to me. Matty feels bad solely for hanging out with George (even when it’s an emergency) and even thought about whether he should tell Ross what was going on between him and George in the past, which is kinda “unnecessary”. While Ross is going about having first time experiences with someone else. He’s also still hanging out with Jack ��
And the thing is, everything with matty and George is like a rebound because they’ve got history so Mattys still hanging onto the past and slips into smth unresolved (which is still a mistake but not completely out of the blue randomly picking someone else for the fun of it)
Ross on the other hand had matty and got off with someone new he wasn’t even interested in in the beginning and has no emotional connection to
sooo.. still team George, still rooting for gatty and absolutely terrified of the next chapter! It’s MESSY. It’s not about guessing IF hearts get broken anymore but who’s gets broken first 🫠
Matty IS obsessed with his big bf and he's super jealous of the absolute wrong person (or is he 👁️👁️ I promise you'll find out) 😭 and you're right there is something about him being jealous that is very 🌚
I also feel for George, he is the baby amongst them and needs to be protected at all costs!! it's a shitty situation and in many ways even worse than Ross's, but isn't he lucky to have a supportive best friend who just can't think before he speaks and immediately offers him a place to stay... 👀
In Ross's defense I'd like to say he is also very vulnerable and confused and discovering sex and being (somewhat) out and exploring at the moment, and I don't think it's 100% fair to say he picked Jack just for fun, they do have an emotional connection even if Jack did very much engineer a lot of what is happening between them. So yeah, grey area there I'd say 🥲
I'll put you down as firmly team George then 🫡
They're very messy, all in all. Sorry about the cliffhanger, I promise I'll deliver on it very soon and thank you so much for sending this in ❤️
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anakin-pilled · 1 year ago
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OMG I CANT BELIEVE IM AT THE LAST CHAPTER ): I AM SO SAD (even though im still gonna go reread the archer next HAAHAH) but i love illicit affairs so much it is so special and well written and you are so special and illicit affairs is literally a work of love and you can tell with how much effort you put into the story!! you were so dedicated to this story and you are dedicated to everything you write. this series was so unexpeting because i did not expect to find a masterpiece, like this is a REAL story with real, profound lessons and i think that's the hallmark of any great writer--their ability to leave lessons with the readers. i love the ending it is so cute and im so happy that neteyam and atan get to be FINALLY be happy (at least for now...lol). AND IM SO EXCITED SO LETS GET INTO IT, i hope my reblogs make your Monday morning a little bit more special ❤️ also did not realize this chapter was 14k words this is a fucking behemoth. might i add i literally do not proof read any of this so if you ever need me to elaborate on something please let me know hehehe and i just realized i reblogged this to my main ooops
...Max and Norm bring in an extra large bed, like the ones made for Avatars and add it to the room next to your own bed, and he slept there, reaching over to hold you hand at all times. 
Teyam is NEVERRR gonna leave Atan's side now like ever poor babies i just know both of them are traumatized
As if death brought forth epiphanies that made you want to live, to heal.
I wonder why it is that humans are conditioned to wait for the worst to happen before deciding they want otherwise. If you know more on that, feel free to elaborate but its more a hypothetical question I have ahah
“Shouldn’t you be with your mate?”
HE DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER!!!!
And I’m also not going to be the woman who steals a man from another, or who endorses whatever the hell this is. I need to make sure you are serious about this, about us.
But like, is it really stealing if Neteyam's heart always belonged to Atan? Their engagement was more of a formality than anything else. I mean, respect to Atan for being mature, but she is in noooo way the other woman like ever. ITS ALWAYS BEEN HER
We’ve been inseparable since birth, and no matter what happened, you deserved to know, you all deserved to know. You deserved to say goodbye. I am sorry I took that from you.” 
I love this growth in Atan, she really is such a dynamic character that is constantly growing and improving and she is never stagnant and i love her sm
“I am sorry for leaving. Sorry for not talking to you about how I felt, sorry about giving up on you."
YEAH THATS RIGHT NETEYAM APOLOGIZE TO HER!!!!!!
Even without the Avatar, there was only one woman in this whole world I would ever belong to, and I would have been happy spending my whole life in this lab, if it meant doing it with you.
Neteyam x human!reader is always going to do it for me. Like the dutiful son, Omaticaya prince, mighty warrior abandoning all (well..maybe not all) of the his commitment to be with a SKY DEMON??? there is nothing better and that is literally love right there. and it wasn't a trope that i was a huge fan of at first, but now? i eat that shit up every single day
You will never have to do this alone again.” 
THATS ALL ATAN WANTS 😭😭
“She told me she did the same things I did. That she had been sad, so very sad, ever since my father died, the kind of sad that never goes away, the kind of sad I am.”
THIS LINE MAKES ME CRY because on a subconscious level, I feel like a lot of people know exactly what Atan meant when she said "the kind of sad that never goes away" and ngl it really made me sit and think about my own issues and sadness and it was just another relatable moment in the story that hit too close to home ahahah\
“We forgive you. We’re just happy you’re still here. We love you, we want you to know that you’ll always be able to talk to us. You’ll always have us. We’re a family. Sullys stick together.” 
I love the relationship between Atan and the rest of the Sully family so much; each relationship is so meaningful and special and I cant wait to see their relationships grow even more the The Archer
An image of you and Neteyam, in a crib, his body much larger than yours even as tiny infants, but you were holding hands, sleeping peacefully next to each other.
There are so many types of love out there, but to have a love that goes as back as infancy is so special and unique and if anyone has that, they should cherish it and hold it close to their hearts
The caption, blurred and blotched from dried tear stains, read “the love of my life, the light in all the darkness”.
Just how Neteyam and Atan are to each other ): Atan literally thought the same thing about Neteyam in the opening of this chap
But it’s also worth living. Because you can learn to take from it, too. You can learn to heal, and love and live, and replace whatever it took in time with even better fitted pieces. But in order to do that, you have to live, my love. 
I feel like her whole video to Atan is a culmination of everything that Atan has learned and I get the vibe that these are lessons you have learned through life too and you are so kind for sharing it with us ❤️
“WE FUCKING DID IT, ACE!” 
WOOOOOOO!!!!!!! VIRUS: 1 0,ATAN: 1
I want to do this your way. I want to be mated to you the Na’vi way. Then we can do whatever you want, however you want. Deal?”
I always love when authors stop the main characters from making tseheylu before going through the proper steps because something about it just so romantic and classy?? like yeah who wouldn't want to be courted??? but also it just shows a true understanding and Na'vi mating culture, which I think is important to understand in x human! reader/OC fics. plus Atan truly respects the Omticaya way so i love that she is the one to stop Neteyam, despite being the human and him the Na'vi
“Thank you, dad.” You were comforted at the thought that, although he died on this foreign planet alone, he was loved, and now, he will be mourned. 
I cannot wait to get into The Archer so we can talk about Atan's dead because I think he is such an interesting character and I love his inclusion
“How about we say it was a team effort?” You laughed together and you kissed her forehead.
Atan always giving Kiri forehead kisses awww
...his twin flame
THE TWIN FLAME BRUISE LITERALLY PAINTED ATAN BLUE TOO AHAHAHAH
This was a moment none of them thought they’d get to see, that you never expected to experience, and Neteyam said a silent prayer to Eywa, thanking her for bringing the love of his life back to him, and into the clan. 
IM SO HAPPY FOR ALL OF THEM I COULD CRYYYY THEY ARE THE BEST FAMILY!!!!! the IT family!!!
He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 
THIS IS THE 3RD TIME THIS QUOTE APPEARS I BELIEVE AND IM GONNA LOVE IT EVERY SINGLE TIME
“I am yours, Neteyam. I have always been yours. I will always be yours. It’s you and me, forever.
THE MOMENT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR LADIES AND GENTLE THIS IS WHERE ALL THE BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS LED US TO!!!
How passionate and adventurous he was, how masculine and possessive of what was his he was, how wild and untamed a streak he hid under the well-behaved and poised demeanour.
HES THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS LORRRDDD I WANT HIM SO FUCKING BAD
You wanted to laugh, but couldn’t do anything but mewl in agonising ecstasy as he hit a spot that immediately made you see stars and you rode out your first orgasm, crying into the crook of his neck. 
and they didnt even fuck omggggg....i think i would come too. honestly I've had intense make out sessions that have made me feel this way so like ITS COMPLETELY POSSIBLE
The shit I want to do to you, Atan, will make Eywa regret ever making this tree part of the mating ritual.” 
Oh hes a naughty boy hehehehhehe i would have bust another nut at hearing this
...pushing his tongue deep within you, like your pussy held the potion for eternal life and he wanted to live in you forever.
YOU ARE SO FUCKIGN EROTIC DNFENFONRENRE IHAVE COMPLETELY MISSED THESE DETAILS BEFORE AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT???
“Look at you. Look at how you give in to me, it makes me fucking crazy.”
I would 100% be the easiest lady ever if Neteyam was real 😭 like just one look and that's all i would need to go feral
He collapsed on top of you with a thud, still buried deep in you, and you couldn’t help laugh exhilaratingly at his reaction, at what just happened, at the fact his was all real, not just an out-of-reach fantasy. 
That was delectable, tysm pookie xx
Although I’ll find it hard ever being a productive member of this clan again going forward.”
SAME ATAN SAME
Your eyes widened at Mo’at’s words, at the consent not only to join the clan, this family, but to do so as Neteyam’s mate, as the future spiritual leader of the Omaticaya. 
AND WE ALL JUMPED AND CHEERED
It’s never been that it’s not you. It’s just that it can’t be anyone else. My whole life, it was always going to be just him.”
I love the phrasing of Atan's words because it shows she truly understands Lo'ak and his insecurities and tries to comfort him by explaining that it is not him that's at fault.
Not because you think I’m the woman you want to grow old with, but because you’re scared that no one else will see you the way I do.
I know we all love Neteyam and i hate that James did him so dirty because his character had so much potential and it's basically the fandom that has made him this 3d character that is more than a plot point for Lo'aks development. With that being said, i love Lo'aks character so much because he really is this complex character plagued with insecurity and grief and i am so excited to see how he will be in the next movie and I hope James does Lo'ak right because there is so much to tap into.
You were flushed and a little disheveled from earlier, purple marks all over your body, but it didn’t matter.
HEHEHEHEHHE those cheeky bastards...i mean they HAD to try at least one time right??? it would have been a missed opprtunity
This body is the only one he’s known you as for 18 years. He’s spent so may days and nights with you, with this small person who had so much in her, so much beauty and intelligence, so much hurt and pain, so much personality, so much fierceness and grit and so much care and empathy, he didn’t know where it could all fit in such a tiny body.
I think its such interesting whenever we have a female character who has done a soul transfer to her Avatar body because you are essentially saying goodbye to the one body you've known your entire life. Do you grieve it, or do you rejoice at the new opportunity? Do both? And though Atan's avatar does look like her, how could it compare to her human body, the one that they have known for 18 years? Like there are only pros to the avatar body and Atan is still the same person in heart, mind, and soul. But internally, how would one digest the fact that they're going back to the body they were born in? Do you think one would lose sense of themselves because of their new body? How do you deal with the fact that your new is yours, while also not being yours at the same time? Maybe I'm thinking too deep into it but i think these are legit questions we should be wondering about ahaha I know I would grieve my body and it would be a period of adjustment. I feel like this is something that I would like to see more authors get into because I think it would be really cool to see this aspect of it.
You turned around and fixed your gaze on your mate, the love of your life, the one that made it all bearable, and when met with his dazzling warm smile and his touch that set your soul ablaze, you couldn’t help be excited at the adventures that lay ahead of you, that you will always brave together
WAHHH IM SO SAD WE ARE AT THE END ): it was such a great ending to illicit affairs like i seriously love it so much joiewjngnjkfnngkldnfklnglkndnglns I had so much fun rereading and going through the entire roller coaster again <3 it brings me memories to a few months ago when i was so invested and blissfully happy reading neteyam fanfics without a care in the world and it was such a great experience to be able to leave all my worries behind and escape into this little fantasy world and i can never thank you enough ): I guess technically this isn't goodbye because I still want to go through The Archer and WOWWWW okay that one will definitely take my longer because it is jam-packed with plot and action and drama and *evil laughter*
“Captain Barlowe, due to your outstanding military record and previous acquiescence with this project, you have been chosen as one of the select few to carry out a special op on Pandora. You will be briefed shortly, but right now we have to make sure everything is in order.” 
You're a little shit HAHAHAHAH this obviously isn't a shocker but when I first read this i was like NOOOOO POOR ATAN SHES GONNA BE TRAUMATIZED AGAIN 😭
OKAY NOW BOOM IMMA REBLOG EVERYTHING NOW BYEEEEEEEE *scurries away like a mischievous mouse**
Illicit Affairs | Chapter X: Invisible String
Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX
Synopsis: Back from the dead, you have to heal in order to be able to move on and be forever part of the people. You and Neteyam finally find each other, giving in to desires you've both had for years.
Warnings: SMUT (18+ minors DNI!!!), some angst, fluff, all the feels, so many feels, the end
Word Count: 14,7k words (i need to be stopped)
A/N: The last chapter of Ilicit Affairs is finally here!! It took me a lot longer than I thought to finish this, but that's because this chapter is longer than my first like 5 chapters combined. I don't know what happened hahahah. I'm so excited to share this with you, the conclusion and culmination of this whole story. I hope you find it a satisfying pay-off, and I'd love to hear allll of your thoughts. Honestly, replies and asks make my life and I cry a little bit every time someone interacts with my content. I hope you have enjoyed this journey, and make sure you read til the end for a (hopefully pleasant) surprise ;)
As always, thank you to everyone who asked to be tagged, I love you all sm!! Ok enjoy byeee x
“Isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me? A string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold tied me to you”
Neteyam stood in the room that he knew so well now, he had memorised its cracks in the white walls, and he was holding your hand, slowly tracing the now-fading yellow bruises along your arm. He looked at the tube that was going into the nook of your elbow and followed his eyes along it, until it reached a little clear pouch with a liquid that was dripping slowly all the way into your body. You were talking animatedly with Kiri, Norm and Max, looking over a bunch of plants displayed on a table in front you. It was incredible to see you, you looked like a completely different person than you were a few days ago. As soon as you woke up, you asked for the treatment you worked on and got working, and your symptoms improved massively. You were still sick, and the virus was still there, not to mention the damage it had already done couldn’t be reversed, it had to be treated on day at a time. Norm said your lungs were getting better and your heart was too, but your kidneys, he thought they were called, still not cleared your blood properly, so you were still stuck in bed with a big tube coming out of your neck where it removed your blood and another tube where it returned it back to your body. Neteyam did not understand how any of this worked, but whatever science it took, he was grateful for. He did not leave your sight in this time, refusing to be parted with you for even more than a few minutes at a time. Jake helped Max and Norm bring in an extra large bed, like the ones made for Avatars and add it to the room next to your own bed, and he slept there, reaching over to hold you hand at all times. 
There was so much between you that was still unsolved, still eating at his insides, but he did not want to overwhelm you or pain you in any way while in this state, so he was satisfied to just be near you and listen to your heavy breathing while you slept, and be comforted by the sound of the ECG machine letting him know you were still there, that your heart was still beating and it wasn’t stopping anytime soon. 
“Ok, I think we need to start with how will we extract the proteins from these plants. I’ve not done protein extraction on plants, but I assume we can do some sort of chloroform or methanol precipitation? You and Grace used to work with plants a lot more than Max or I, so I think you would be the best at figuring it this out, no?” Neteyam looked at you with wide eyes, so perpetually impressed with your intelligence and drive, with how good you seemed to be at tackling any challenge. You were barely breathing properly, but here you were, trying to find a cure for this illness that almost took your life. The first full sentence you said after coming back to life was to Kiri, and he was a little jealous, but overall incredibly proud of you and your strength that felt like it could move mountains if you put all your might into it. Knowing you, he was sure this virus will be dead meat soon.
“Right, I can take care of the protein extraction, you can then run mass spectrometry on it and see what we’re working with. It’s going to be a lot of work, are you sure you don’t want us to take care of it? Until we figure out exactly which active ingredient in which one of these plants gets results, it’s nonstop. I don’t think you’re ready to be back to work yet.” 
“I can’t sit back and do nothing. We’ll see how I feel, worst case scenario I do all the analysis from the comfort of this bed, deal?” 
Norm was happy to hear that you weren’t being stubborn for once. Whatever happened to you when you died, you definitely seemed changed. As if death brought forth epiphanies that made you want to live, to heal. Neteyam was definitely not complaining. 
After a while, everyone cleared, and you and Neteyam were left by yourselves. You turned around to watch him, giving him a little grin. 
“You know you don’t have to stay here every minute of the day, right?”
“I disagree.” 
You laughed heartily, your breath getting caught in your throat when the action made your lungs hurt, and the laughter turned to wincing, much to Neteyam’s dismay. Eventually, the wincing turned to sighing, and you didn’t look at him as you spoke again.
“Shouldn’t you be with your mate?”
It was his turn to wince, and he realised you probably couldn’t avoid talking about your issues forever. 
“Do you really want to talk about this right now?”
“Neteyam… I won’t be the other woman. And I’m also not going to be the woman who steals a man from another, or who endorses whatever the hell this is. I need to make sure you are serious about this, about us. I might still not make the consciousness transfer. I need you to think about this, and if you do and you decide that it is me after all, then you need to talk to her. She deserves that, she deserves better than what she’s been getting. And I don’t want to be part of this until I know she is not being deceived or led on.”
“You are right. I will talk to her today, alright? But I’m not leaving you right now.” 
“Do you want to watch a movie?”
You could feel yourself getting stronger by the day. It was a struggle still, your lungs feeling like they were going to explode any time you took a deep breath in and your heart oscillating between going a million miles a minute to barely functioning in the span of a day, but you were getting there. The combination treatment was definitely doing its job, and your body was no longer on the brink of collapse. Some colour returned to your cheeks in time, and since you have been eating about 15 meals a day because of how worried everyone was, you were gaining weight back, which was further increasing your day-to-day quality of life. You got a lot of sleep in the last few days, probably more combined than in the past few months, and you felt rested, for the first time in a really long time. 
The first two days were the hardest, your body reeling from withdrawal on top of everything else you were experiencing. But you were feeling good today, and were trying to remain optimistic so as to not fall into old patterns. Having Neteyam next to you helped, your light in all the darkness, he refused to leave your sight, even in the face of more pressing matters.
The humans were closing in, you were told. The ships will be landing any day now, which only contributed to your slow recovery, as the anxiety was manifesting itself physically and hurting your progress. You felt stressed at the situation and more so at the thought that Neteyam wasn’t there, in the meetings and in practice, missing it all so he could stay with you. You hated it, worrying constantly and he wouldn’t hear it. 
“It’s only a couple of days, Atan. Stop worrying.” 
Today was the day they were going to remove the dialysis machine, which you were extremely excited about. You felt the need to walk, to stretch out your legs, to be back in the lab. You had a lot to do, a lot you had riding on this. You were trying not to think too hard on how you were doing everything in your power to further procrastinate healing, knowing that at some point you were going to have to deal with the trauma head on and open that damned drawer, that held all of your darkest memories, all of the things you spent your whole life pushing away. If you were going to be ready to heal, ready to move on, you had to do so with a clear conscience and a clean slate. You were adamant that you were going to find the cure for the virus and use it on yourself before you made a decision about the consciousness transfer. You had to be 100% sure of your choice, of your decision to leave this life behind forever, and you couldn’t do that if you viewed it as an escape from your current weak and disease-ridden body.
It took a while to be disconnected to the machine and get the tube out of your neck. From now on til you decide whether to go through with the transfer, you will have to do this for a few hours a day, which was a pain, but better than being bed ridden all day. 
You put your feet on the ground for the first time in days, and you forced yourself to stand slowly, and quickly realised it was a bad idea, and your knees immediately buckled under you. Neteyam caught you with both his hands under your arms, and effortlessly raised you until your feet were a few inches above ground. 
“Put me down! This is so embarrassing.” You groaned at your own impairment, and refused to give up, slowly starting to walk with shaky feeble steps. You felt both Norm and Neteyam hover over you, and although you were grateful for them, you wanted to scream at how upsetting it was making you having to be looked after like you were a baby taking her first steps. You guess, in some ways, you were. 
You eventually got to your room, which looked untouched, if a little dusty. You were happy to see it again, happy to take it all in. It was a bit surreal, the whole experience. You didn’t realise how much it was all going to matter, all the little things, until you were dead on a hospital bed, begging Eywa for another chance. Every wall, every creak on the floor, every book, it all hit you suddenly, and you had to sit down on the ground, your back against the bed frame, so as to not collapse under the weight of this whole endeavour. 
“Atan, are you alright?” Neteyam’s voice was laced with concern, and you tried to stop panting long enough to answer him.
“I’m fine, it’s just a lot.” 
He slowly sat down next to you, struggling to squeeze in the tight space between the bed and the desk. His knee was brushing up against the side of the thigh, and you felt heat spread from the touch through your entire body. He gently raised one hand to the side of your face, removing strands of hair that were falling on it and tucking them behind your ear. 
“Talk to me, Atan. I want to know, I want to help.”
You felt tears pool in your eyes, and you couldn’t look at him, couldn’t look anywhere but the ground as the words got lodged in your throat. This was going to be much harder than you thought. 
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Neteyam. I’m sorry that I almost died, that I did die, and that you had to witness it. I’m sorry for not telling you, I am sorry for not fighting harder, I am sorry for so many things.” Hot tears were falling on your arm laying in your lap and you struggled to find the words to speak. “I am still so mad at you, so mad that you left, so mad that you lied, so mad that you never told me how you felt about me, so mad about so many things,  but I shouldn’t have kept this from you. We’ve been inseparable since birth, and no matter what happened, you deserved to know, you all deserved to know. You deserved to say goodbye. I am sorry I took that from you.” 
You were both crying now, and he picked you up and placed in his lap with little visible effort, it was probably easier for him than carrying Tuk. You wrapped your arms around his neck and slid your legs around him to wrap around his back and you stood there, crying in the crook of his neck while he held you tightly, trying not to hurt you.
“I am sorry for leaving. Sorry for not talking to you about how I felt, sorry about giving up on you. I should have stayed and helped you heal, I should have been there for you to rely on instead of being yet another thing you had to deal with in this life. I am sorry about lying about Tiongli, I am sorry for not telling them all no from the beginning. Even without the Avatar, there was only one woman in this whole world I would ever belong to, and I would have been happy spending my whole life in this lab, if it meant doing it with you. I was scared, and I am sorry.” 
He removed your head slowly from the crook of his neck, and grasped the side of you face with one of his hands, thumb trailing over your lips, tracing them from your cupid’s bow to your lower lips, and you shuddered at the touch, deep desire pooling within you. 
“I love you so much. I have loved you my whole life, from the moment I was born, and I will love you until the moment I die. I am so sorry it took me so long to grow, but I am ready now. Whatever it is, I will brave it with you, and for you. You will never have to do this alone again.” 
You were sobbing now, unmoored at his confession that you have waited for your entire life. You were so overwhelmed by the love and affection you felt for this man, for the appreciation of knowing he was willing to hear the deepest, darkest parts of your soul and share in that pain willingly.
“I love you too. I missed you so much.”  
After crying it out on the crook of his neck, letting your human hands caress the soft blue skin of his back and chest while he held you, fingers running up and down your spine in a comforting motion, you eventually got up from his lap slowly, and crawled on all your fours to your messy old desk. You took a key that was taped to the underside of your chair, and, with a deep sigh and tired eyes, unlocked the bottom drawer of the desk. You took out just one thing. A bracelet. You smiled at the sight, and tightened it around your arm multiple times so it fit on your human form. You looked at Neteyam coyly, giving him a soft smile, and you saw his hand reaching for his own bracelet, with a gummy smile and tears in his eyes. 
Maybe you could do this after all. 
You eventually started working in the lab again, being a lot more careful about striking a balance between work and everything else in your life. You were still struggling to sleep, especially now that Norm and Max flushed every pill you had down the toilet, but you were trying your best. The best was when Neteyam slept over, and you just fell asleep flush against his bare body, whose warmth melted away all your nightmares and replaced them with much better, much lewder ones. You weren’t getting anywhere with your research, as Kiri found a lot of plants in the forest, and to do mass spectrometry and proteomics on so many proteins, and analysing them all was an impossible task in the time you had left. So in an afternoon, as you were hanging out with her, Lo’ak, Spider and Neteyam in the hub, guitar strumming in your hands, you had a lightbulb moment.
“Kiri, if you had to save one plant, just one on this whole planet, which one would it be?” Kiri was special. Whenever the rest of the kids argued over her heritage, making crude jokes about Grace and Norm, trying to figure out who her dad is, you always had a different hypothesis, that you never said out loud. Kiri was Eywa’s child, as much as Grace’s. She was the key to everything. Eywa was flowing through her, guiding her, and you believed she had a lot more up her sleeve than any of you knew, than even she knew. 
“Hmmm, that is a hard question.” She looked deep in thought for a long time, and eventually it’s like a huge epiphany was released from her mind. “Pamtseowll!!”
“The Cat Ear plant? Are you sure?” 
“I think so! I don’t know why that one, but that’s the only thing that came to mind, and when I thought about it, I just knew it was the right one! Why do you ask?”
You raised from the ground, placed the guitar on a bench next to you, and ran (more like walked at slightly increased velocity than normal) to her, kissing her forehead in a loud smooch. 
“I’ll let you know!! Wait here!!” 
You talked to Norm, telling him your hunch and asking him to treat a vial of the infected blood with the liquid extracted from the plant in question, that you already had in stock thanks to Kiri. It would take a while, but you were buzzing in excitement, feeling extremely positively about your idea and your new odds. You made it back to the hub where they were all waiting for you, and sat back on the ground, mischievously ignoring their curious glares. 
“Are you going to tell us what this was all about?” Spider said, rolling your eyes at your antics. 
“Nope.” 
They eventually dropped it, and you sat together, talking about everything and nothing, trying to ignore the looming doom of the ships slowly making their way to Pandora’s atmosphere, and the deadly consequences that would follow them.
You picked up the guitar again, deep in thought. Before you could help yourself, you found yourself speaking.
“I saw my mum.”
Everybody stopped and stared at you in shock. None of them said anything, and you swore you could hear a hairpin drop for sure in this big hall, or your heart pounding in your ears. 
“When I died…” you started cautiously, not even knowing why you started talking in the first place, but knowing it was too late to back off now. “…I woke up in this new place I have never seen before. Eventually, I realised I was on Earth, in my mum’s childhood home. There were pictures of her on the wall, with her parents, she looked young, and happy… and alive.” 
“Her house overlooked the ocean, and I went and sat on the beach and she came. Like it was nothing, she just came to me, and sat me down, and watched me cry on her shoulder until I thought I was running out of tears.”
This bit was easy enough to speak about, now came the real problem. You swallowed the big lump in your throat and continued. “She told me she did the same things I did. That she had been sad, so very sad, ever since my father died, the kind of sad that never goes away, the kind of sad I am.” You couldn’t look at them, preferring the look of your guitar that you were holding on to dear life as you spoke, and saw small tears crashing into the strings, splattering everywhere. “She said she didn’t try… to stay alive, to heal. Just like I didn’t. She said she had a choice, and she chose to die, because the hurt was too much for her to bear. She left me, orphaned me, put me through so much pain I’m still dealing with a decade later.”
You heard small gasps and sharp breath intakes and the new information, but couldn’t stop to acknowledge it, needing it out of your soul as soon as possible. “I was so hurt, so mad at her. That she left, that she didn’t fight harder to be in my life, that she left me with so many scars because of her selfishness. And then it dawned on me… that was me. I did that to you. To all of you. And I am sorry. I am so sorry.” 
They all slowly sat up from where they sat and gathered around you in a circle, and hugged you. 
“We forgive you. We’re just happy you’re still here. We love you, we want you to know that you’ll always be able to talk to us. You’ll always have us. We’re a family. Sullys stick together.” 
You felt each of these words deep within you, the forgiveness something you craved like air, and you realised how much it must have meant to your mum. You were happy you could do that for her. You were happy something good came out of all the misery. 
Later that day, all the Sully kids left, and you went to your room, carrying your guitar in your hands, and found yourself again, sitting on the ground, reaching for the bottom drawer key and unlocking it with shaky hands and muffled cries. It was time. You reached inside it for a photo album, with old school printed photos on it, and opened it. Your heart was hurting so badly you needed to place your hand on your hand to try to settle it, settle the pain and agony you felt. The first photo was a photo of you and your mum in the medical ward, holding you tightly against her chest, looking really tired with the caption “you had just been born a couple hours ago, how crazy is that?”. The second one -  a photo of you, as a tiny baby, only a few days old by the scribbling on it. Countless photos of you, in various stages of growth, in various positions, all captioned by your mother, who loved you more than anything else in this world and whose love was loud and clear in every one of these images. The tears kept falling off the laminated pages and onto your legs, and your anguished cries took over the music playing in the background. An image of you and Neteyam, in a crib, his body much larger than yours even as tiny infants, but you were holding hands, sleeping peacefully next to each other. An image of your mum with Neytiri and Jake, smiling widely for the camera. A photo of your mum in her Avatar body with all the Sully kids, her holding Tuk in her arms when she was just born. An image of her in the lab, mid laugh with a pipette gun in her hand - no one would ever have been able to tell how much hurt she was hiding underneath, how close she was to death. Finally, an image of her and your dad, taken by your dad, of them looking into each other’s eyes lovingly. The caption, blurred and blotched from dried tear stains, read “the love of my life, the light in all the darkness”. You closed the album panting, and brought it close to your heart, just holding on to it while you cried. 
You were spent by the end, but wanted to push through, needing to get this done all in one go. You removed another thing from the drawer, a camera, the gift Jake have you for your birthday. You eventually sat on your desk chair, and plugged it into your laptop. You clicked on the only file on it, and gasped at your mum’s face appearing on the screen, smiling while adjusting the camera to centre her face. She started speaking, and you clung to every word, making sure her voice and words will forever be imprinted on your mind.
“My child,
I know it’s been a while since you have since my face.” she says with a small laugh. 
“I’m making this tape for your 18th birthday, as this should be around the time when your Avatar is ready for you to use. I gave Norm and the rest of them notes and doodles and research and I think they can do it, my love. I think they can build you the ramps new life, one amongst the Na’vi. I am so excited for you, you have no idea. 
Happy birthday, bunny. You will forever be the best and brightest thing I will have ever achieved. I am more sorry than you will ever know that I don’t get to see you grow up, see the beautiful, intelligent, caring and loving person you already are blossom into so much more, but I want you to know, more than anything, that I have no regrets. 
I have lived my life exactly the way I wanted to. I have explored new worlds, I have contributed something good to the world, I have lived and I have loved deeply and unconditionally. I just hope you do, too. I hope this world doesn’t break you, my love. I hope it doesn’t snuff out your light, because in that case, I will have failed you, and I am so sorry. 
I know you are sad, and I know you have probably been sad for a while, and I know this life is emotionally abusive, and it takes and takes and takes until there’s nothing left. But it’s also worth living. Because you can learn to take from it, too. You can learn to heal, and love and live, and replace whatever it took in time with even better fitted pieces. But in order to do that, you have to live, my love. 
Even at 10, you have a tendency to keep sadness in, and don’t let it out. That’s something you got from me, and I’m sorry for that. I love that you got my eyes, and my addiction to music and my love for science and literature, but baby, I don’t want you to be like me in every way. You also have a tendency to isolate, and that, you also got from me. I’m hoping that will change in time, I’m hoping Neteyam, and Spider, and Lo’ak and Kiri, and eventually Tuk will be able to break through and allow their light to shine on the dark walls of this lab. But if not, I’m hoping this Avatar will. 
I want you to know that it’s alright to hurt, and it’s alright to be scared and wonder if the path you’ve taken is the correct one. We all wonder through this life scared and confused and a little alone. But it’s up to us to want to make a change and it’s worth it, baby. I know opening yourself up to hurt is scary and hard, but it will also allow to love, to love fully and deeply, to give yourself to others and have them give themselves to you. There’s beauty in this world and this life, but you need to be brave to experience it. 
Your dad and I love you very much. Enjoy this Avatar, and enjoy all that it can bring to your life. You are the brightest light of my life, and now it’s time for you to become another’s.”
You replayed the video until you were so spent, your eyes were closing painfully from the tiredness and hurt and tears. After that, you went to your bed, still clinging to the photo album, and fell asleep, to a song you hoped one day you’ll be strong enough to play yourself, but for now had to settle for the original. 
I should've asked you questions, I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me, should've kept every grocery store receipt Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me Watched as you signed your name Marjorie All your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me...
Norm came bursting through the door of your bedroom, waking you up in a panic. “What the fuck, Norm??”
“We did it.” He came to your bedroom and took you by the shoulders, shaking you. He screamed and jumped in the air.
“WE FUCKING DID IT, ACE!” 
You jumped from the bed onto your knees, so you were almost face to face.
“WHAT? ARE YOU FOR REAL?” 
“YES, OH MY GOD, YES!” 
You jumped on him and he caught you, and you just spun around in your tiny room, laughing and screaming at the beginning of your new life. 
Thank you, mum. For looking after me even after you’ve gone. Thank you.
You had to toil a bit with details, but by midday, you were ready to get the substance, now purified and diluted in appropriate medium for being inserted in a human body. You watched as Norm prepared, and held your breath as he injected it into your now healed veins. You didn’t know whether it would work, or how many doses you would need, this was all so new, it was kind of crazy you were willing to inject it in your body with so little information, but you trusted your mum, and you trusted Kiri, and you trusted Eywa. 
You felt good. So good, in fact, you knew exactly what you wanted to do. 
Neteyam was in the village, in a deep strategy meeting about how they were going to approach the upcoming threat looming over everybody. His mind was only half listening, the other half too busy with musings of you. What were you doing? Have you eaten? Did you take your treatment? He was worried about you after yesterday, and felt guilty he didn’t stick around for the night in case you needed him. He is pulled out of his train of thought when he hears a loud banshee scream, and everyone’s attention turns to the entrance of the tent, to which everyone rushes. When Neteyam makes his way outside, his mouth drops at the sight of you, beautiful and wild, free on top of your golden white ikran.
You were radiant, smiling widely at him while you removed your queue and your visors and brought your hand to your forehead and greeted everyone at the meeting. 
“Hey, kid.” The Sully patriarch came over and gave you a big hug, a conflicted look on his face. “Are you sure it’s ok for you to use your Avatar?” 
“We did it, Jake. We found the cure.”
His mother and father both gasped loudly at the news and hugged you tightly, and you held on to them with all your might, pouring all of your love and apologies into it. Neteyam was too stunned to say anything, pure bliss escaping his body in the form of silent tears, that he wiped immediately from his face - he was in a meeting with all the warriors, there couldn’t be tears. 
“I’m actually here to steal the future Olo’eyktan, if that’s ok with everyone. I will bring him back in one piece, I promise.”
“Fine, but don’t be too late. I don’t want to have to use the radio, am I making myself clear?”
“Yes, sir.” 
Neteyam saw you click your tongue towards where you were standing, and felt a ping of arousal at your sight, at your confident demeanour. You used to be such a wild girl before life got too much for you to bear. He hoped he’d get to see that in you again, just like he was now. His hands made their way to his mouth and formed a circle around it, and he screamed loudly for his ikran, which appeared quickly and landed next to yours. He connected the queue and both of you took flight at the same time. 
You flew like that for a while, and he was mystified at the experience. He has spent so much of his time riding with other people, flying as much a chore as a delight, but nothing that will ever be able to top this. You were screaming, fiercely and ferociously, doing barrel rolls in midair on your beautiful banshee, laughing loudly and urging her to almost bump into him, to which he gasped in mock annoyance and returned the favour. He followed you to the Hallelujah mountains, all the way to a cave on one of the floating rocks. It was beautiful, and he thought it would probably be breathtaking at night. You both landed, panting from the adventure, and made your ways to each other after petting your ikrans affectionately. 
His hands immediately found your face, holding you tightly to look deep into your eyes. Your eyes softened looking at him, and he could see himself in them, looking intense and troubled. 
“Did you really do it?” 
You raised you own hand and brushed an unwieldy braid from his face, gently tugging it behind his ear. He saw your tail swish enthusiastically. 
“We really did it.” 
Neteyam’s mouth immediately found yours, desperate for your touch, the feeling of relief washing over him and it was so intense this is the only way it could be manifested. He needed you, craved your touch, craved the closeness, craved to make up for all the time you two lost. You moaned into the kiss and deepened it, opening your mouth, inviting his tongue to meet yours and dance in the way that made you both weak in the knees. You put your hand on his chest and pushed him and it caught him off guard, because he tipped backwards and hit the ground with a painful thud. You smirked and raised an eyebrow, and he moaned at the sight. You immediately got on top of him, straddling his lap and pulling him by his chest piece until your lips met his again. Your hands went into his hair and his did the same, and you let out a wail when he pulled on it, making your head tilt backwards, giving him access to your neck that he attacked mercilessly, leaving trails of his presence all over you. You felt him, hard against your core that was dripping in arousal, and you thoughtlessly starting grinding against him, feeling your mind flooded with sensations you never wanted to let go of. 
“Neteyam, we can’t.” It hurt you saying these words, it was taking every ounce of self discipline you had, which at the moment was almost none. 
“Yes, we can. In fact, I think it would be irresponsible of us not to.” 
You laughed, smacking his chest playfully at his words. You brought your hand to his face and caressed it softly, and he closed his eyes in bliss. 
“I want to do this properly. I will be one of you soon, for the rest of my life. I want to do this your way. I want to be mated to you the Na’vi way. Then we can do whatever you want, however you want. Deal?” You raised an eyebrow at him, smiling mischievously.
“Only if you stop raising your eyebrow at me, otherwise I make no promises.” 
You laughed again, and laid next to him with your head on his chest, hoping this moment could last forever. 
“Hey, I have to do something, and it won’t be pleasant. I was going to go alone, but I’ve made a promise to not go about everything alone. So if your offer still stands, would you like to come with me?” 
You felt Neteyam’s hand stop caressing your hair like it had been for a while. He starts getting up, pushing your head off his chest slowly in the process. He looked serious, concerned, but he had a calming smile on, and when he took your hands in his and held them tightly, you knew you were gonna be ok. 
“Let’s go.” 
You got on your ikrans and flew back to the forest, feeling comforted by the knowledge he was there, next to you. You didn’t have to do this alone. You landed in the clearing next to the exo suit that belonged to you dad. Your heart was picking up pace from the sight, but it was time. It was time to work through it. 
You slid off Neyn’s back and made your way to the suit, running your hands over it to remove some of the vines and eventually reaching for the dash cam. It was probably long dead, but you had to try, especially after what your mum said. You fiddled with the screen for a while, and eventually, it turned on, making you jump out of your skin. 
In the view of the camera stood a man, tall and bald, wearing military clothing and reloading the guns that came with the suit. You’ve seen him before, in a photo in one of the jackets you found rummaging for clothes to wear. His name was Lyle Weinfleet. 
“Captain, I think if we go through this clearing, we should be closing in on the tree of souls in about 3 clicks.” 
“You’re right. But I don’t think we should do it.”
Lyle looked stunned, and he stopped whatever he was doing to turn around and look and your dad. “Barlowe, what are you talking about?” 
“This is wrong, Lyle. You know it, I know it, everyone here fucking knows it. And if you don’t, you’re even a bigger psychopath than I thought you were. We have to go back.”
“I’m not fucking going anywhere, Captain. These freaks are going to kill all of us if they get their way. Someone has to stop them.”
Your dad picked up his gun and pointed it at him. “Are you disobeying direct orders, lieutenant?” 
“You’re not my squad leader, Captain. And I have orders from above.” 
A fight ensued which eventually resulted in the destruction of both the exo suits. Your dad got out of the suit, and the last time the camera picked up was Weinfleet running at him with a knife. 
You lowered the screen and sat in silence for a long time. Neteyam’s hands were rubbing up and down your arms, and you felt his chest radiating heat on your back. You were happy to have him here, as the new influx of information was overwhelming enough to make you dizzy. Your dad didn’t attack on that fateful night 19 years ago. Everything you believed your entire life was false. 
“My dad was not a horrible person.” Neteyam said nothing and just stood by your side, allowing you to process everything at your own pace. 
“I hated him my whole life. I felt so much guilt at his actions, the murders I thought he committed plagued my mind for years and years. I was too scared to come to the village because I thought he was responsible for the decimation of your people.” 
“You came from him, you share his blood. There was no way he could have been that bad. Not with you as his daughter.” 
You scoffed lightly at his comment, but were so happy he was here. You took him by the hand and walked him to the body that was now only a pile of bones. You looked further in the clearing, and realised another set of bones was settled in the ground a few meters from your dad’s. Good, you thought. 
“I’d like to bury him, if that’s alright with you?” 
You gathered all the bones and walked to a tree whose roots were hanging partially above the ground, creating a little cove. Rays of light were hitting it, and you knew then it would be the perfect place. You placed his remains there, and gathered flowers and ornate twigs that had fallen on the ground, and decorated the little space as well as you could. 
“Thank you, dad.” You were comforted at the thought that, although he died on this foreign planet alone, he was loved, and now, he will be mourned. 
You made it back to the village together, walking and holding hands, trying to get your mind off all the epiphanies you have had to undergo in the past few days. Healing was hard work, you snickered to yourself. You made it to the tent you knew Jake and the rest of the warriors would be. 
“There you are. Was starting to get worried.”
“Ah, there’s nothing to be worried about, pops.” You laughed at Jake’s shocked expression and the way his eyes softened immediately as a response to your new nickname. 
He had to wipe that expression off his face. He was Olo’eyktan. He was Toruk Makto, this was not inspiring leadership. 
“Right. The humans will be here any day now. I think we will have to move our base of operations in the Hallelujah mountains, somewhere they can’t find us, where the flux is too strong for their equipment. It’s going to be a big ask, and a big adjustment, but it is necessary. You know the first place they will look is at the hub. And it won’t take long for them to find the village either.” 
What he was saying made sense, but it filled you with a sense of grief. This forest, that hub, those labs, this village, is all you’ve ever known. To have to leave it for an undetermined amount of time, maybe forever, was hurting your heart. You knew Neteyam felt the same, you knew they all felt the same. Jake was a marine, strong and adaptable, he was an incredible person to have around in a crisis. But he didn’t quite understand what it means to belong to only one place, to only know one reality that was going to be uprooted and taken from you. That takes time, time you didn’t have. 
“I think we should do the ceremony tonight. You have completed the Iknimaya, you are to be one of us now. It’s time, if you want it.” 
You peered up at him, in shock, but the beating of your heart was so loud because it was excited, it was happy. It’s time. You knew it in your heart it was right, this time. You belonged here. Your mum worked so hard for you to get to do this, she foresaw this 18 years ago. Your dad gave his life for yours, even without knowing it. You owed them this, owed them your life and this new one you were about to get.
“And tomorrow, we can do the transfer, if you are ready.”
By nightfall, you were ready. Your hair was freshly braided, in a pattern different to what the Na’vi wear, but you wanted it to be a mix of Na’vi and human braiding. You had all new clothes, and Kiri was in your tent, painting your body in white lines, as was the tradition. She looked radiant, happy and beautiful, like she always was.
“How are you feeling?
“Nervous.” 
“There’s nothing to be nervous about. You belong here, you always have, even when you were human. This is just formality at this point.”
“Kiri… I want to thank you. You saved my life. Your plants, your mind saved my life. I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t for you.”
“You saved your life. You asked me, you did the work, you found the cure. The Na’vi will be forever grateful to you, and Max and Norm, I hope you know that.”
“How about we say it was a team effort?” You laughed together and you kissed her forehead. You loved her so much, your sister for life.
Neteyam saw your body, adorning all new garbs, a golden frilly loincloth and green, violet and gold beaded top that hung from your neck to reveal a bare back that made Neteyam’s body beam with desire. Your left arm was decorated with a bracelet, the same bracelet he was wearing, the one that he gave to you when he was ten, that was now proudly shining on your person rather than hiding in a drawer, masking pain. You had bracelets around your ankles as well, that were softly clinking every time you took a step. Your hair was soft and braided in a pattern that was unlike the Na’vi ways, and it was fitting, Neteyam thought. You would never be only Na’vi - you were more, not quite human, not quite one of them, you were the most beautiful aspects of both and Neteyam felt his heart skip a beat at the sight, one which will never cease to take his breath away. You were his, forever. How did he get so lucky?
Almost as if you could hear him, you slowly turned around and he saw your eyes searching the crowd until they found him, and your face immediately broke out into a beaming smile, that slowly changed into a gaze filled with yearning and love….and lust. Neteyam gulped audibly at your expression, so intense it was making him crazed enough to almost consider taking you away right now, ceremony be damned, and coax screams out of you he would be sure anyone else would cower in shame at. But not you. You were his match, his twin flame, and he knew whatever he wanted to take from you, the screams, the pleasured pains, the moans and panted breaths, you would give willingly, and would take his in return, until you were both so spent you collapsed in aching bliss. 
He waited though, despite his progressively harder to ignore twitch, knowing he wouldn’t, couldn’t rob you of this moment, knowing the waiting and anticipation would be worth it in the end.
The ceremony was ethereal, magical, and he couldn’t help reminisce about his own, years and years ago. The people all stood around you, waiting for the Olo’eyktan to say the words that will make it official. Neteyam saw his father approach you, wearing all the garbs worthy of a chief of the Omatikaya, and placed both his arms on your shoulders, smiling proudly. You were a Sully now, for all intents and purposes, and his father looked at you the same way he looked at all his children. Neteyam’s heart swelled at the sight, taking in the familial interaction.
“Ngenga 'ite Omatikayaä luyu set. Na'viyä luyu hapxì. (You are now a daughter of the Omaticaya. You are part of The People.)”
Neteyam made his way by your side, and he watched as the rest of his family did the same. He placed both of his hands on your body, one over your heart, and the other on your back. His family did the same, and he noticed tears in everyone’s eyes, including yours and his own. This was a moment none of them thought they’d get to see, that you never expected to experience, and Neteyam said a silent prayer to Eywa, thanking her for bringing the love of his life back to him, and into the clan. 
After the celebration, you excused yourself from everyone, tired and dazed, as well as too impatient to wait for what you have wanted, needed for days, months, years. You found Neteyam casually talking to some friends, and you touched his back lightly, so lightly it was barely there. He shuddered minutely, and turned his body to face you. He took your breath away, always, but particularly today, in this light, under these circumstances, wearing his ornate clothes and that bracelet, the one that you would both wear for the rest of your lives. That one that meant forever. 
“Come.” He said, and he looked at you like you were a meal that he’s been starved from, that he was going to devour. You bit your lip in excitement and followed him.
You went for a swim in a tiny lake not too far from the village. You swam together like that for hours, kissing and touching each other under the water, just feeling him. The anticipation was building strongly, and as the last of the paint on your body dissipated, you left, with hurried steps, quickly making your way towards the Tree of Souls. 
Your entire body stalled at the sight. You have seen images of it, areal videos taken from drones and helicopters, you saw it all, and yet nothing could have prepared you for the beauty of this place, for its magnitude and significance. The air felt thick, charged with energy, and you could hear whispers all around you, soft, almost imperceptible, but they were there. Eywa was here, just like she was all around you, but here, you felt her stronger, almost palpably so. You made your way through the willow-like branches, seeing the purple hue illuminate your skin, and you just walked, taking it all in, touching it, experiencing it fully. You were so happy, it made you anxious. You’ve never felt happiness like this, and you were scared it wasn’t going to last, scared of knowing that the fall from such a high would break all of your bones, crush you forever. You felt Neteyam’s gaze on you, electrifying every inch of your body its gaze was touching. You could feel him, in your bones, you knew what he was feeling, what he was thinking. You shared a soul, you always have. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 
You looked at him and your breath hitched in your throat at the sight; he was the most gorgeous human you have ever seen. He was beautiful and angelic and looking at you like you were prey that he wanted to exert complete control over - and you didn’t mind. You wanted him so badly and you have waited for this for what feels like lifetimes. You knew looking at this man in front of you that you would allow him to ruin you, you would beg him to kill you softly, slowly drive out any ounce of sanity from your body orgasm by orgasm until there was nothing left of you but the echoes of moans you couldn’t help exhale. It was almost desperate, your need for him, and you heard your breath become laboured, panting with craving and ache. You saw him make his way towards you slowly, and stopped only when he was towering over you, and you had to bring your chin up to be able to look into his eyes. His hands immediately found your jaw, that he gripped tightly, making sure you weren’t going to look away from him, from that gaze that drove you mad and made you throb in pain, begging to be filled, craving sweet release. 
“You’re mine. I can’t believe you’re mine. I have waited for so long, I have dreamt about this for years. The one thing I have wanted more than life itself and you are here. You’re mine. Forever.” 
You were fully panting now, not even an ounce of shame on your features. You wanted him, you wanted him to know what he was doing to you. Wanted him to control you, to possess you, to take what was his, what has been his and will be his forever. 
“Say it. I need to hear you say it, Atan.” 
His grip on your jaw tightened, and you moaned, unable to stop yourself, not wanting to stop yourself. 
“I am yours, Neteyam. I have always been yours. I will always be yours. It’s you and me, forever.” 
It was his turn to moan, gaze turning animalistic now, in a way that you felt within you, deep within you, and you knew you were dripping wet now, knew he was going to love it, was going to revel in it, and you smirked at the thought. 
You saw him stop and reach back for his queue. You gasped silently at the sight, but smiled at the thought he wanted this, that after this, you would be his for life. You reached back for yours, and you both held them close to each other, just out of reach, looking deeply in each other’s eyes. 
“Do you trust me?” 
“You know I do. I trust you, Neteyam, do whatever you want to me. I’m yours to take, I’m yours.” 
“Forever?”
“Forever.” You joined the queues and nothing in the world could have ever prepared you for the overwhelming sensations and feelings, for the intense intimacy of feeling Neteyam’s deepest desires and emotions, for how deep his love and care for you actually ran, for how desperate he was to own you, to make you his. You felt his breathing and his heartbeat, and he felt yours and the desire you both felt exploded all around you. 
He aggressively smashed his lips into yours, both of you moaning at the contact, at the need that enveloped both your beings like the rushing water of the river you loved swimming in together. Your fingers immediately made their way into his hair, his beautiful hair that seemed to sometimes have a life of its own, and thinking of how hot you found it made you only more enthusiastic, gripping at it tightly and pulling on it. He smirked in the kiss, parting your lips enough to look at you with a mischievous grin that you loved more than you could put into words. You loved this man - you loved his kindness and compassion and sacrificial streak and patience, but you loved this side of him more, the side only you ever got to experience, that no one else knew about. How passionate and adventurous he was, how masculine and possessive of what was his he was, how wild and untamed a streak he hid under the well-behaved and poised demeanour. How well he matched you. Your twin flame. He placed both of his hands on you thighs, just underneath your ass, and lifted you effortlessly, and you instantly wrapped both your legs around him, never breaking the kiss, that was now just a mess of panted moans, lips and intertwined tongues. You felt your back hit a tree bark and you gasped, breaking the kiss and watching as the action left a trail of spit in between you. His mouth moved to your neck, that he sucked and licked until it was hurting, and he pushed you into the tree, trying to remove whatever space there still was in between you two. As he did so, you felt his chest and pelvis push aggressively into you, and you whined when you felt his dick brush up against you core, hard as a rock and hitting a spot that was making you lose your ability to see around you. He started moving his hips into yours, drawing circles into your pelvis and you matched him, desperate for release, desperate to want to give him your first of many orgasms of the night. You weren’t going to be satisfied until he made you cry in pain, in pleasure, until the line between them was blurred.
Neteyam saw your breathing quickened and he smirked in a way that only made further pleasure pool in your depths. “Coming already, my love? You wanted me that badly, huh?” 
“Dick.”
“You’ll get that later, too.” 
You wanted to laugh, but couldn’t do anything but mewl in agonising ecstasy as he hit a spot that immediately made you see stars and you rode out your first orgasm, crying into the crook of his neck. 
“Good girl.” He didn’t let you come down from you high, as he removed your body from the tree and placed you on the mossy, comfortable ground, and both his hands went on your knees, making sure you were keeping them apart, as soon as he could feel you wanting to close them to accommodate for your post-orgasm sensitivity. 
“No, Atan. You wanted this, remember? You have to keep your pretty legs spread for me.”
The entire world was spinning around you, a mess of purple, pink and white, as he traced his hands slowly, too slowly, painfully slowly up your thighs, until he reached your hips, where you loincloth was tightened, and you felt him make quick work of the knot, inhaling deeply as he took it off from you and saw you for the first time. 
“Fuck, Atan. I feel like I could come just from looking at you. Look at you, a fucking writhing mess and I haven’t done anything yet. Look at this,” he said as he place a hand in between your folds, removing the slick that was so abundant it was now dripping down your ass, “Look at how wet you are for me, and I haven’t even touched you yet. The shit I want to do to you, Atan, will make Eywa regret ever making this tree part of the mating ritual.” 
You saw him slowly lowering his head towards you legs, kissing and biting roughly up your thigh until you were screaming in pain. “Shh, Atan.” He drew circles in your thighs as he continued his onslaught to comfort you to some extent, except it was only lighting your skin on fire, only strengthening your need for that second release. 
“Fuck, Neteyam, please.” 
“Begging so soon, my love? What do you need?” 
“You. Your tongue, your fingers, anything. Fuck, please!” 
“Well, since you said please.” 
He smirked again, the asshole, and you felt him licking your pussy from your entrance to your clit, and at the moan he released as he did so, you convulsed so violently you needed a while to settle, still trying desperately to close your thighs to make the sensation more bearable. 
“Stop that, or I’ll stop. Do you want me to stop, my love?” He looked at you through hooded eyes and giving you a wild look that made you clench around nothing, and your hands found his head and you pushed him back into you, annoyed that he stopped, already upset at the thought that he wasn’t going to be doing this every minute for the rest of your life. If you had your way, he would. That’s all you would do. He laughed, but obliged, and continued his attack on your lips, messily kissing and licking, pushing his tongue deep within you, like your pussy held the potion for eternal life and he wanted to live in you forever.
“Fuck, Atan, you taste so good. So good, how am I ever supposed to stop, huh?” You started grinding your hips around him, moaning loudly and you saw him dry humping the ground, trying to get some of his own release. The primal animalistic action was enough to push you over the edge again, coming all over his tongue, that was still lapping at your insides, without any intention to stop. 
You tried to push him away, the feeling so overwhelming it was bordering painful, your clit so red and sensitive now it was glaring and obvious, but he didn’t relent. 
“Fuck, you are intoxicating. Come on, baby, I’m not nearly done. We’re not nearly done.” He pushed two fingers in you, which was incredibly easy with the amount of slick and cum you were continuously releasing. Although so sensitive, you immediately clenched around him, taking him in, and felt the familiar ache slowly building in you again. He pushed his fingers deeper, until his knuckles made contact with your folds, and you felt his thumb slowly, gently rubbing your throbbing clit as his fingers were hitting your g spot mercilessly. The stimulation was too much, and you felt yourself seeking yet another orgasm, bucking your hips wildly against his fingers. 
“That’s right, Atan. Let me see you come all over my fingers.” That’s all you needed to hear, and almost on command, you felt yourself coating his long digits with your cum. He removed his fingers from inside you and you cried out at the loss, but he didn’t care, too busy staring at his fingers, covered in the clear viscous liquid enveloping them. He brought both fingers to his mouth and he took them both in and sucked on them, and immediately kissed you, messily and forcefully, and you moaned at the vulgarity of it, and the taste of your own orgasms on his tongue, which was exploring your mouth like he had your folds earlier. You loved it, loved all of it, drunk on the feeling, on the connection you felt to this man that knew you, so well, so deeply, knew your body instinctually, like he touched you and had you all his life, and you squirmed when you realised that now you had a whole life to do this, every day, you would never have to live without this feeling again. 
“Do you feel how good you taste, Atan? Fuck. I will never get enough of this.”
With one swift motion, he removed your top from around your neck and took its place, squeezing your throat until you couldn’t breathe anymore, slowly choking you. You threw your head back and arched your back, eyes fluttering shut, just taking in this feeling, of being completely owned, completely in someone else’s control. It was exhilarating. 
“Look at you. Look at how you give in to me, it makes me fucking crazy.” He squeezed harder. “You drive me fucking crazy. I have dreamt about fucking you for so long. So many nights, having to stroke my cock imagining it was your mouth instead, you have no idea how badly I need you. How entirely and completely yours I am. You own me. My soul and my mind. It’s only fair I own your body.”
The hand that wasn’t around your throat went to his loincloth, that he removed skilfully, letting it drop to the ground around him. Your eyes fluttered open to take him in, his glorious body and that magnificent cock, that was even bigger that you ever dreamt, and you struggled to gulp in the position you were currently in. Your pussy clenched fully at the sight, and you were drooling now, saliva pooling around your mouth that you licked off like a kitty looking at her favourite meal. His fist wrapped around the girth of his cock and he started pumping himself, and you were close to being done again just at the sight, never in your life seeing anything more sensual, more erotic. You needed him inside of you now. 
“Fuck, please, Neteyam. I need you in me.”
“I know, Atan. I need to be in you. I need to feel you milking me, like the good girl I know you are.”
With a couple more strokes, he lined himself at your entrance and slowly, deliberately, agonisingly pushing in, one inch at a time, stretching you deliciously, fully until he bottommed out, and you could feel him hitting your cervix, you could see his bulge in your lower abdomen. It drove you to the point of madness. 
Your hand went to his ass, trying to push him even further in, despite not thinking it was actually possible for him to go anywhere else, but it was still not enough, never enough. 
He removed your hand and gathered both of them and pushed them above your head, pining them to the ground with enough force that you couldn’t move them anymore. 
“No, Atan. You don’t get to dictate this. We go at my speed.” And with those words, he started rutting into you brutally, giving you no time to adjust to him or to the pace. It was rough and wild and out of control, everything you have ever desired in your darkest, best fantasies. It was so dirty, so wrong it made your insides squirm in pleasure, in uninhibited bliss. 
He maintained his pace for so long it was enough to steal two more orgasms from you. You were on the verge of tears, now, so overstimulated you didn’t know if you were feeling pleasure or pain anymore, but you didn’t care, you wanted more, always more of this, more of him. 
“Fuck, Atan, I can feel you squeezing me again. You think you can give me one more?” You nodded weekly, trying to match his ruthless pace.
“I want to come in this pretty pussy. You want me to fill you up, Atan?” You could only moan at the words, unable to formulate any coherent thoughts or sentences, anymore. You were way past that. Your breath quickened rapidly and you knew you were really close, and he could feel you too.
“Yeah, that’s right baby, come all over my cock. I want to feel you come undone.” Those words were enough to rip another explosive orgasm out of you, and your clenching milked his cock dry, feeling thick spurts of cum fill you up, painting your pink walls white. 
He collapsed on top of you with a thud, still buried deep in you, and you couldn’t help laugh exhilaratingly at his reaction, at what just happened, at the fact his was all real, not just an out-of-reach fantasy. 
Eventually, he rolled from on top of you and stretched out an arm for you to cuddle up to him, which you did, feeling grateful for every moment, grateful for the intimacy. 
You were both still panting, still recuperating and you lay in his arms in peaceful bliss, trying to catch your breath. 
“Thank you.” You said playfully, drawing circles on his chest. 
“What for?”
“For being an even better lay than I always imagined you to be in my dreams. Although I’ll find it hard ever being a productive member of this clan again going forward.” 
He threw his head back and laughed, and the sound filled the forest and your heart, so relieved to be able to hear it again, so immensely grateful to get to experience these feelings in your life, that didn’t end prematurely no matter how many bad decisions you have made.
“You’re very welcome, Atan.” 
You peered up at him bashfully, and you knew then you did at least one thing right in this life. 
You fell asleep in his arms, and woke up in the link room, wide smile on your face. Max was waiting for you, and he returned your smile when he saw how happy you were.
“You look happy.” 
“It’s just been a good day.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet.” He looked at you playfully. “Do me and Norm have to give you the talk?”
“Shut up, Max. In a completely unrelated subject, though, can I have some birth control from the medical ward, please?” 
Your body was weak, and you needed a while to adjust to being back here after a whole day in your other body, soon to be your only body. You felt weightless, despite the pain, so happy and so in love. Your knees were weak from the memories, and you felt a bit empty at the lack of touch, craving him again, even though he’s taken so many orgasms from you, you knew you were going to be sore walking back to the village. 
You went looking for Norm, who was already waiting for you in the medical ward, ready to give you a new dose of the injection and take some blood to see how everything is looking. 
“It was a beautiful ceremony last night. Did you enjoy yourself?”
“Yeah, definitely did. It was incredible, I have never felt anything like it before.”
“Are you ready for tonight?”
“I think I am. I opened the drawer, little by little, Norm. I think it’s time. I am ready to take my place amongst the people, I am ready for my body to belong, I am ready to not have to worry that this virus will turn around and kill me at any point. My mum and dad both sacrificed so much for me to have a chance at a better life. You guys sacrificed so much. You’re like my guardian angels. I owe you so much, and I am so sorry about how I acted. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Will you still come by and hang out once in a while when you’re not busy riding your ikrans and being an overall badass?”
“Always, Norm. I am still me, I am still a scientist at heart, and I am still human. Maybe my body won’t be, but I will also have my mum and dad, you and Max, a whole history and heritage that I don’t want to rid myself of.” 
“Good. Then all’s forgiven, Ace. I am sorry too, for not telling you about Neteyam. It just didn’t feel like my secret to share.” 
“I understand.” You got up after he injected you with the treatment and hugged him tightly, grateful for this man who is your family just as much as your mum and the Sullys are. 
After resting, eating and taking a nap, you did your dialysis session for the day, and although loopy, you hopped in your Avatar body, still a couple of things you wanted to take care of before the transfer. 
To your surprise, you woke up in your tent, a small blanket covering you. You smiled, realising Neteyam must have carried you back in the morning. He even put your clothes back on. You blushed at the need that immediately overwhelmed your body, and tried to calm yourself as there were more pressing matters at hand. 
You made your way to the Sully tent, and heard Neytiri and Mo’at talking. Good, two of the people you were looking for. 
“Mai’te! How are you feeling?”
“I feel great, sa’nok (mother). Thank you for last night, it was beautiful.” Neytiri brought her hand to her mouth in slight shock at your new name for her. She was so happy, it all felt complete now, after all this time. 
You took her free hand in yours as well as one of Mo’at’s, and looked at them seriously, intently. 
“I want to ask for your permission for the transfer. I realise a lot of talk has happened, done when I was a human, when I was sick. But I am not sick anymore. I don’t want you to do it because you are worried I will die. I want to be sure, I want you to be sure, that you want me as a Na’vi forever. That you are comfortable with me becoming my Avatar for life. I will not do it, if you aren’t. This means so much for me, and I know I have been a coward, for so long, but I am ready now. I am standing here in front of you, and I am finally ready, to be one of the people, to be in this body, to be your daughter. I just hope I’m not too late.” 
They both looked at each other, and smiled, and looked back at you lovingly.
“Mai’te, we have waited for you all of our lives. You are the missing piece in this world, in our world. You brought forth a cure for an illness that has plagued the Na’vi for years and years. There is nothing we would love more than for you to be Na’vi. And there will be no better future Tsa’hik.” 
Your eyes widened at Mo’at’s words, at the consent not only to join the clan, this family, but to do so as Neteyam’s mate, as the future spiritual leader of the Omaticaya. 
“I won’t let you down.” You hugged both of them, tears in your eyes. 
You eventually made your way out of the tent and looked for the only other person you had to talk to before this was all done. Neytiri told you where he could be, so you looked there first. Sure enough, you found Lo’ak deep in thought up a tree, above everyone else, and you climbed easily and joined him. He was startled by you, but he composed himself quickly and gave you a look that you couldn’t quite place. You could tell he had conflicting feelings, happy on one hand to not have lost you in one way, sad that he did lose you in others. 
“Hey.” He was curt, and didn’t look at you, and a twinge of hurt settled in your chest. You had to make this right. 
“Hey, you. Scooch.” He moved slightly so you could fit with him on the branch, which was more than wide enough to accommodate both of you. 
“Lo’ak… please talk to me? I can’t stand the thought that you hate me. You’re my best friend. Please?” 
“Is it true?”
“Is what true?” 
“I saw you leaving with Neteyam last night, after the ceremony.”
You cringed a little, the thought of having this particular conversation with him close to unbearable.
“Yes, it’s true.” 
Pain flashed across his face and you saw a tear, just one small tear, fall down his face. You reached to wipe it off, but he beat you to it, so you awkwardly let your hand drop. 
“I’m sorry, Lo’ak. I’m so so sorry. But I have loved your brother my whole life. My whole life, ever since I was born, he was there. And I love you too, I love you so so much, but we wouldn’t be right together. You are the best guy in the world, and I am not even close to being worthy of you. Neteyam gets me. He gets the darkest side of me, he knows my darkest, worst secrets, he has been with me through some of my most traumatic moments. It’s never been that it’s not you. It’s just that it can’t be anyone else. My whole life, it was always going to be just him.”
“You are my best friend, and I will always be here for you. You will never lose me. You will never get rid of me. I found a season of Friends on my mum’s directory that I’m pretty sure we’ve never seen. I can’t do that with anyone else.”
“I know you are scared, and I think that’s why you asked me. Not because you think I’m the woman you want to grow old with, but because you’re scared that no one else will see you the way I do. And you’re wrong, Lo’ak. Everyone will see in time that you are the best person in the world. You are incredible. And so many girls will be falling at your feet soon, you will be angry at yourself for ever pining over someone like me. I know you are scared, but I am not going anywhere. Can you please forgive me?” 
He turned and looked at you for a long time, intensely searching your face, maybe for a sign that you were lying, or exaggerating, but he couldn’t find any, as he eventually dropped his gaze and smirked playfully. 
“Do you really think girls will be falling at my feet?” 
“Yes, I really really do. You are a catch, mister.” 
He rolled his eyes dramatically and let out an exasperated sigh.
“Well then, I have to forgive you.” You both laughed and your back pressed against the bark of the tree and you stretched your legs to sit in his lap. 
“Now, about that season of Friends…” 
You returned to your human form in the afternoon, and slowly started packing your life away, ready to relinquish this room, once your mothers, with deep sadness in your heart. You will all have to relocate from tomorrow, so you will probably not be back here except to help everyone else evacuate and move all the equipment. You’ll never be back here, you realised with a deep sigh. So many memories, so many bad ones, but so many good ones too, this place was your safe place, your little piece of heaven, despite all the hell you went through in it. As you packed all of your books and trinkets you collected in time, you found yourself tracing your fingers over every surface, trying to commit it to memory. The coffee stain on your desk that was made when Neteyam spilled your mug with his tail without meaning to. The scratches on one of the drawers from all the times you pulled on it with your finger, since the latch was a little broken and hard to open. The wear and tear from your ass print on the chair that you spent inordinate amounts of hours in, be it analysing data or watching shows, or reading with your feet carelessly stretched on the desk. You moved on to your bed, that you sat on, and you sighed at the thought of never being able to sleep on a bed again. You will miss the comfort of the mattress and the sheets, and the space to really spread out however much you wanted, looking like a little starfish every time Norm woke you up in the mornings and his subsequent laughter at your ridiculous poses. 
It took a while, but you were done about an hour before eclipse. Neteyam knocked on your door, with eyes slightly widened at the state of the now empty room. 
“I’ve never seen this place like this. It looks so barren without your touch.” 
You sighed and tugged at the insides of your mouth with your teeth. “Yeah, it does.”
“Any regrets?” You turned around to face him, giving him a small reassuring smile and taking his hand in yours, the size difference always a stark contrast compared to your Avatar body. 
“Never.” You eyed the bed playfully and raised an eyebrow, feigning timidity. “We still have some time… what could we possibly do to fill it, huh?” 
He looked at you, and you could tell he was turned on out of his mind, but also gave you a reserved look. “We can’t… not like this, I will hurt you.”
“I don’t think you realise you’re not making the point you think you are.”
He closed the door behind him with his tail and stalked towards you. “Fuck, you will be the death of me, Atan.” 
You made your way to the village a little after eclipse, and everyone was following you. All the humans, Norm and the other Avatars and Neteyam, who was carrying you on his back like you were his little backpack. You were flushed and a little disheveled from earlier, purple marks all over your body, but it didn’t matter. Your hours in this body were limited. In your back pocket of your shorts you had a box of birth control pills that Norm gave to you as you and Neteyam made it out of the room. You laughed at his reaction and yours, both of you awkward and embarrassed to have to address it whatsoever. You placed your head on Neteyam’s shoulder, peering up at the sky, like you used to do when you were little. The village was busy and roaring, everyone packing their lives up for the move tomorrow. People looked at you as you passed by, unfamiliar with your human form clinging to the future Olo’eyktan’s back. Jake and the rest of the family met you at the big bonfire. 
“Heads up, everyone. It’s time!” You smiled, and looked next to him on the ground, where your Avatar body lay motionless and you had to take a second to take this all thing in, the weight of what you were about to do hitting you full force. You started breathing in deep, shallow breaths, and you felt Neteyam’s hands running up and down your thigh in a calming motion. 
“You’ve got this. We’re all here for you.” You reached over and pecked his neck, in gratitude. 
Everybody in the village, all the Na’vi were making their ways through the forest towards Vitraya Ramunong - they would all partake in the ritual. Neteyam was nervous, out of his mind with worry and fear, although he didn’t want to impart that to you, so he carried you gently, trying to be strong, as he was sure your mind was also laced with concerns. What if you didn’t come back? Neteyam quickly pushed the thought out of his mind and cursed it for making him think about such things, making his heart constrict in his chest in pain at the mere thought. Of course you would make it. A part of him was also excited about the ritual. It would be the first time anyone under 19 would get to see it, to experience it, it was only the third time it would have ever been performed. It was a powerful ritual, hence why they needed everyone. 
The tree was as breathtaking as it always has been, and Neteyam had to inhale deeper to accommodate for the deep charge of the atmosphere, for the thickness of the air. He heard the ancestor’s voices, buzzing quietly all around him. As soon as you reached the natural platform on which the tree resided, Neteyam put you down next to his family and tried to not think of all the images flashing across his mind’s eye of all the unholy things you two did last night right in this spot. His grandma was giving out orders about where to place your Avatar. 
“Are you ready?” Said Mo’at, in her usual no-nonsense fashion.You gulped loudly, and Neteyam couldn’t help wince. Everybody was on the edge. 
“Yes, I think I am.” He saw you turn around to face him and the rest of the family, as well as Spider, Norm and Max. 
“This is it, I guess.” You grabbed his mother and youngest sister’s hands in yours, and squeezed, a small tear falling down your face. 
“I love you, guys. Thank you for everything all of you have done for me. I am so excited to join this clan and your family, forever.”
Neteyam watched as you lay on the ground, naked except for some leaves covering you. He was going to miss you, he realises. This body is the only one he’s known you as for 18 years. He’s spent so may days and nights with you, with this small person who had so much in her, so much beauty and intelligence, so much hurt and pain, so much personality, so much fierceness and grit and so much care and empathy, he didn’t know where it could all fit in such a tiny body. You’ve grown up together, a human and a Na’vi, learning so much from each other, adapting together to the world around you and to each other’s mind and soul. He was going to miss this body, the body he fell in love with, the toothy grin and wild eyes so unlike anything he’s ever seen, your beauty marks that he used to trace with his finger and eyes.. and mouth, as of a few hours ago. You were everything, and have always been regardless of your difference in species, and colour, and height. He mourned a little, he realised, for the you you’re leaving behind, but was also incredibly thrilled to have you as one of the people, as his mate, mother of his children, Tsa’hik, for the rest of his life. 
He hovered over you the whole ritual, unnerved at the way the tendrils were emerging from the ground and slowly enveloping you, until there was almost no bare skin left to see. His skin was covered in goosebumps at the experience, as the chorus of people asking Eywa to grant you life in a new body, undulating their bodies in unison, and his grandma’s words. It was unlike anything he’s every experienced. 
Tìng mikyun ayoheru rutxe, ma Nawma Sa'nok. (Hear us please, Great Mother)
Pori tireati, munge mì nga (Take this spirit into you)
Srung si poeru, ma Eywa (Eywa, help her)
Ulte tìng ayoer nì'eyng hu ngeyä ya (And breathe her back to us)
Srung si poeru, ma Eywa (Eywa, help her)
Tivìran po ayoekip (Let her walk among us)
Na Na'viyä hapxì! (As one of The People!)
Srung si poeru, ma Eywa (Eywa, help her)
Eventually, the ritual came to an end when Mo’at screamed for everybody to stop. Neteyam reached over to your face, and removed your mask, kissing your cheeks and your hands, and saying a quiet “I love you” before he moved on, anxiously waiting to see if you would open your eyes. He let out a panted breath as you did, smiling tiredly at the family who was now jumping on you, making you choke slightly. 
You laughed and his eyes found yours in the manic scene unfolding in front of him. You smiled lovingly and reached out a hand for him to grab. 
“Hi.” 
“Hi, Atan. It’s good to see you.”
You were sad as you were carrying your body, you tiny human body in your arms, and lowering it in the ground next to the Home Tree. You saw your family place a flower each in the little cove where you now lay, and you carefully redirected an Atokirina towards it, and watched as it landed on you, making its home in the little gap made by your foetal position. 
You will miss this body, and all the memories you made in it. You will miss looking in the mirror and seeing your mother’s eyes and hair, you will miss being able to play her guitar. This body, however tiny and weak, was your home for 18 years, and it has stood by you no matter how many times you treated it badly or betrayed it. It kept you alive in a world that could kill you in an instant, and you were sorry to have to leave it behind. 
“Thank you. Thank you, mum and dad, for giving me life and gifting me this body. Thank you for taking care of me, I know it wasn’t easy to keep up with this messy mind. Thank you.” 
You turned around and fixed your gaze on your mate, the love of your life, the one that made it all bearable, and when met with his dazzling warm smile and his touch that set your soul ablaze, you couldn’t help be excited at the adventures that lay ahead of you, that you will always brave together. 
-the end-
EPILOGUE
The man felt weak and dizzy, the entire room spinning and making him well nauseous. He didn’t know what was happening, what any of this was. He saw a bright light flashing across his eyes and he groaned in pain and annoyance at the way it was making his vision spotty. He grasped the hand of whoever it was that was doing this to him, and he was relieved when it stopped. It took him a long time to adjust to his surroundings, and was met with shock when realising he was in some sort of medical ward, surrounded by people in white coats. His gaze fixated on his hand, that was still wrapped around someone’s wrist, and couldn’t understand what he was seeing in front of him. Blue. A blue striped hand, that supposedly belonged to him. 
“Captain, Captain Barlowe, can you hear me? You’re ok, you’re just disorientated. It’s gonna take a while to settle your mind, so take you time.” 
He raised assertively from the bed he was laying on and made his way to the reflective windows all around him. He stood there, still, just taking it all in, finding it hard to understand, to process what was clearly displayed in front of the mirror. His body, in an Avatar. 
“Captain Barlowe, due to your outstanding military record and previous acquiescence with this project, you have been chosen as one of the select few to carry out a special op on Pandora. You will be briefed shortly, but right now we have to make sure everything is in order.” 
“I’ll be damned.” 
For everyone who’s made it this far, I am so excited to announce the sequel series, The Archer, that will tackle all of the events of the Way of Water x coming to you soon 💕💕
Tag list (thank you thank you thank you x): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties @mommyneytiri @ultimatebluff @elizarikaallen @yeosxxx @ssc7514 @lolcaca @jackiehollanderr @bunnyrose01 @therealbloom @neteyams-queue @r1dd1kulus @whore4neteyam
@kikookii @iliyoo @velvetskies @rebeccao03 @im-in-a-pansexual-panik
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red-elric · 2 years ago
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👀👀 tell me more abt iwaoidaisuga??
hehehehehehe okay so I’m still just barely thinking about this but heres some (disjointed) thoughts:
ive long held that iwa and daichi are college roomies their freshman year! I tend to see them and suga as going to sendai university (at least until iwa transfers to cali bc I’m still for sure on that) and its really. not a stretch to imagine them being gay together, esp since I think theyre both going thru their 'oh my god I’m gay' crises at the same time in early college
I’m also OBSESSED w gossip friends iwa and suga, and iwa dealing w oikawa moving to argentina has really sealed the college besties iwasuga deal for me.... suga fills the 'pretty gossipy nosy friend' shaped hole in iwas heart :,) and since iwa realized he was in love w oikawa right before oikawa moved away I think that maybe hes quick to act on it when he realizes hes feeling similarly towards suga 😳
suga I think has known he had a crush on daichi for a while by that time but kinda gives up by early college.... and daichi's new roomie is kinda hot uknow?? but daichi is also suddenly flirty too and oikawa (setter friends hehehe) keeps calling him to talk about feelings and its all such a mess 😭 he loves them all sm tho :,)
daichi's so overwhelmed by realizing he's gay and in love w suga and also finding iwa really hot that by the time he hangs out w oikawa and notices that he's actually gorgeous and hilarious he's like 'okay 🫣' akshdhdh like daichis going thru a lot but he's here for the ride
I dooo still love iwaoi taking wayyy too long to get their shit together.... I think that would tie in as iwa having like. a toonn of fun w daisuga and them basically being like 'hey were gonna date, ur welcome to join anytime' and iwa saying 'thanks, but I gotta work out shit w oikawa before anything else'
daisuga I think would be an independent thing by the end of college but theyre both v much like 'yeah iwa and oikawa are welcome any time here' lmao
oikawa i think is just. a whole mess ahdjdjdh like once he realizes he's crushing on iwa he pretty soon realizes hes kinda crushing on suga too and damn there were some weird feelings about daichi mixed in there too and is he just the type to crush on everyone now?? jesus. this is when brazil oihina happens (this time tho hinata tells him a) its okay to be gay AND b) its okay to be poly lmao)
I think when iwaoi get together (post oikawa retirement theyre so SLOW about it) they have some honeymoon time where its just them? but theyre both kinda like 'wow I like daisuga too and idk how to tell him' about it aksjsj theyre DUMB
daisuga solves this problem by bringing them on double dates and flirting w them both aggressively until theyre forced to admit their feelings :,) daichi feels very superior about his emotional intelligence when he absolutely shouldnt, iwaoi is a low low bar and he just BARELY beats them ajdhdjshdh
anyway I think they tear it up at the club!! slowly rotating them in my brain havent quite figured out everything about them yet but hehehehehehehe
@monstrsball giving u credit for some of this bc without ur iwasuga and oisuga energy I never wouldve gotten here ❤️
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