#'you save everyone but who saves you?' or smth along those lines

[general-cyno]

one of my favorite things about wano is that it has a whole bunch of zoro protecting luffy bits. from their reunion all the way to the start of the raid and during their confrontation with kaido + big mom

zoro protecting luffy always has a special spot for me ngl. luffy's the strongest in the crew and he's normally the one facing the most dangerous enemies, taking on the biggest risks and such. although luffy has definitely gotten help from/been saved by other straw hats and non-crew characters before, throughout the manga zoro's been shown consistently worrying about his safety and jumping in to save him whenever it's needed. he's usually the one to notice and signal to the others when luffy's genuinely in danger too (and luffy in turn has done the same for zoro). points at thriller bark again one of zoro's most impactful moments in the story is about protecting luffy, even.

but luffy does worry about him too! he's shown reacting to zoro getting hurt the few times it happens in his presence:

plus - after zoro momentarily stops kaido and big mom's conquest of the sea (taking the brunt of it by himself/redirecting it? the panels are a bit confusing to me but otherwise luffy and the rest would've looked injured from that particular blast imo), which leaves him pretty wounded as law later points out, luffy's already angrily going after kaido

I love this arc.

[toaber]

I'm going to rant about random genloss theories and shit ok

Let's start with ranboo. His first memory is the cabin right? But that's back when hetch was dying. In a bts thing he said that their memories came back when the mask was flashing. The mask didn't start flashing in ep 3 until they were in the box. It lit up the second hetch appeared in the doorframe to drag them into the box room. I think they gave him his memories back so they'd remember their entire past and beg for us to kill them. I think they would have rathered us kill them because that'd be easier on them. And by them I mean showfall media. And hear me out. We didn't have a choice in it at all. We've already seen that they can bring people back to life. Charlie came back multiple times and said himself that "I can die as many times as I want" (or smth along those lines) in ep 1. It just keeps repeating over and over and showfall can bring them back as many times as they want. Remember the showfall media employee that ranboo killed? That's their job in the show. Every time this happens, every time the hero goes through to save the day, that one in particular gets killed. Why do I say that? That one bleeds wires okay. While we're at it there's another smaller theory I have about security. Security has been rebuilt so many times and has progressively become worse and worse and worse because yk that's what generation loss means, the loss in detail or quality over time. Like if you took a picture of something on a phone, took a picture of that picture, took a picture of that picture, and so on. The quality will drop. That's generation loss. (In case you reading this didn't already know that lol) Anyway security has been rebuilt so many times that it has become a wire monster without much structure. Plus, Ranboo said during the genloss panel at vidcon that there was pieces of flesh in security. That implies that they were once human, but have been rebuilt progressively worse over such a long period of time that the humanity left in them has become nothing but little bits. That showfall media employee has much of it's humanity left, but it bled wires, meaning it has been rebuilt at least a few times before. Another thing is that we don't see anybody but Ranboo and Hetch bleed. Ethan's blood was shown sure, but he wasn't in the frame so how can we really know it's his. Anything could be props for the show. (If we saw anybody else bleed please remind me in the comments btw) I feel like this might be Ranboo's first show. As for Hetch, I'd love to believe he's a good guy, and I kind of do. I just think he's just like the Puzzler probably was. Likely from whatever reality Ranboo was from, just taken and forced to be part of the show. The reason the Puzzler wasn't revived was because he wasn't necessary for the rest of the show. Anybody who wasn't revived was likely revived after the fact with their memories wiped. Speaking of wiped memories, I never got back to that thing I was saying about Ranboo and their memories. I believe that they gave him his memories so that he'd beg for death so they wouldn't have to drag him away and kill him later. The choice was nothing but an illusion. Ranboo was destined to make it to the end, inevitably die and have his memories wiped in the process, and then start all over again. I feel like this was Ranboo's first show. They seem the most aware, the most awake, the most human. Everyone else feels a little robotic. As if they're reading from a script. I feel like this may be Sneeg's second or third show, I think Charlie's been in it for a while, and I think the Puzzler and the one's trapped by him in ep 2 have been there the longest. And remember, as cute as Squiggles may be, he's not on our side. The little man was FUMING when Ranboo broke out of the electric chair. He is nothing but a little bit of comedic relief put there by showfall to keep us company. I also feel like we may be just as imprisoned by showfall as the others. We aren't the ones showfall is entertaining. We're forced to stand behind a one way mirror and watch as our heroes fail again and again and again.

To make us feel worse about it, we're given the illusion of choice. 10,000 chance that we chose the right key and we did? Yeah right Jerma. All those times we had to choose where they went next? He still would have ended up doing the same things no matter what in different orders. Tipping over Charlie's grandma's ashes? What would that have done to change the overall storyline, really. Change a few dialogues? Wow how interesting. Our choice does not matter. Ranboo and the others are stuck in this infinite loop of illusions, fake choices, death, and most importantly of all, entertainment. Hetch said his job is to find people "from your world" to be the puppets of showfall's show. I feel as though the hero of this show wasn't always Ranboo. It could have once been Sneeg, or Charlie, or maybe even WAYYY back it could have been security. As time progresses, people's roles change. Except Hetch. His one role is to find people for the show. I think Hetch may have been one of the first that showfall found for their show. He finds people, tests them, and puts them to work for the viewer's entertainment. Kind of. I mean he's not really the one putting them to work, that's the founder. Kill the founder yk? Remember that? That's the only way to stop the loop. He's the one dragging this on and on and on. The "kill button"? Yeah that didn't do anything, really. He was supposed to make it to the button. Everything happened just as planned, just as it was scripted. I think that the only way for them to break out is for us to get out of where we are trapped and go stop them. Break them free of showfall's control. We're the variety. We make decisions that don't affect the overall outcome of the show and that simply change trivial parts of the entertainment. Forced to sit and decide on things that won't change the outcome. Unless we stop making the decisions they give to us and instead breaking free from the pointless clicking and deciding, nothing will change. The choices they provide us won't change the outcome. To change the outcome, we'd have to make our own choices. For the sake of our heroes and all the heroes that will come to be, break free the actors and kill the founder.

[a-bombyx-mori]

poking around on spotify earlier and saw that ghost hit 1 mil monthly listeners,,, holy shit!! and their work has been a constant in my life for about 7 years now holy fuck.

gets me thinking about their impact and stuff. still have mixed emotions about everything because they sure did get good and bad attention while they were online. it's gotta be satisfying to see so many people enjoy your art and music and for them to even pay for it. then there's all the problems that come with any fanbase or online presence in general. and I've been here a while so here's just a few things that stand out to me about. everything? things I've thought about a bit?

(this became a long reflection ramble thing whoops.)

I've never really had other songs or writing at all describe the weird mental shit I've been through. yep, it's probably dumb, but ghost and pals songs helped me identity my problems. they became a source of catharsis when I was in fucking middle school and still are to this day. hell, evolve was the first thing that got me thinking I had been in a horrible relationship (along with twisted love ofc). aoapp was a reflection of my anxious attachment for a long time. I wouldn't have been able to make personal progress the past few years without analyzing songs too much.

and don't get me started on their drawings,, their artstyle has always been so charming in its own way. for a long time I tried to emulate their techniques so I could be an artist too. AND THEIR PV EDITING?? mgnghfh full course meal. I still set stills as backgrounds every so often. the fucking colorbars picture was my email background for years until google decided to stop loading it sometime last year.

I still admire them so much.

but there's also things they did that feel off. like I'll never get over how the new chattering was supposed to be a joke. you can't go and make a polished banger showing off your improvement and then say "yeah lol I only did this cause my friend joked about doing it so I said bet." or smth along those lines. (ghost said they remade it cause creep-p joked about it. in a tweet I think? gotta find it.) at that point, it also becomes a slight against your fans. you can't act like everything you make is (essentially) worthless without unintentionally shaming those who enjoy it. it's like that one mirror reflection picture thing.

the whole deletion of specific songs/most of their old discography is also it's own complex beast. ideally, an artist should be in control of when their art is displayed, but you give up that agency when using the internet. hell, there's mirrors of my old Instagram pages, and I'm nowhere near ghost's notoriety. thats the nature of the internet. shit is saved and copied and reuploaded all the time. the only way you can prevent that is by not uploading it at all or going through copyright law/terms of use/etc.

when I first started listening to ghost, they had their old work in an unlisted playlist. cool. then another channel I believe? then later on there was no official way of getting them so ofc people reuploaded them. was that the best thing to do? nope. but people enjoy their old songs and wanted access to them. and not everyone has a local back-up of music cause they're afraid it'll become inaccessible lost media.

them deleting most of their music vids is similar. this happened around like 2018ish? people started reuploading their current songs because. guess what. they weren't officially avaliable. people were thanking translators and such who had the pvs on their channel because they had access to it again. I believe something like this happened a second time but I don't remember for sure.

THIS DOESN'T EXCUSE ANY OF THE PATREON LEAKS BTW. those were paywalled benefits so that's a fundamental breach of privacy (and site rules, I'm p sure).

also less serious thing but they set up a premiere at the end of 2019 for a new song or whatever and it turned out to be a fucking joke too. just like a dr phil picture or smth. only upset at that cause back then I'd get the biggest fucking adrenaline rush whenever they were about to release something. then again I was also depressed as hell so that's an old me problem imo.

there's probably other drama or whatever I'm completely forgetting about, but probably for the better. in the end it's all about the art we're here for in the first place, and the artist behind it. I hope they're doing well after detaching from social media.

uh. long essay thing over now. I think

[suffarustuffaru]

Vincent for the asky thing! He's my lil blorbo

SORRY ANON FOR TAKING SO LONG WITH FHIS ASK it got lost in my drafts oops. and also again another disclaimer—i still havent gotten to reading the ex novels but i will someday i promise 😭😭 and i do not have the attention span to read 100% of arc 7 rn but i will do my best with what i know about vincent <3 ty for trusting me with ur blorbo 👍

Sexuality Headcanon: 🏳️‍🌈👍 gay. 100%.

Gender Headcanon: ok so i do know that like hes been crossdressing since he was younger to save his life and thats why hes so like chill with crossdressing and ALSO LIKE i like the idea that hes just Super Chill with playing with his gender presentation more and he likes doing it a bit!! and like will do traditionally feminine stuff??? makeup?????? idk smth along these lines. gender nonconforming king.

A ship I have with said character: VINCENT/CHISHA 10000%. like theyre one of those pairings where its like. platonic or not they WERE super close like. insanely close. but also if u read into it as being Gay it also makes So Much Sense. like?? yes ok @ottosuwuen has that hc that vincent learned makeup or something from chisha (who clearly wears eye makeup 24/7) and like. urhgh gh the image of them doing each others makeup. OK but canonically speaking vincent/chishas relationship makes me soft. LIKE YES its partially the ottosuba shipper in me bc the obvious parallels are obvious but sometimes i just really like two mansplain manipulate malewife manwhores okay. and like the way chisha does ALL OF THIS (*insert chishas bonkers plan here*) TO SAVE VINCENTS LIFE……….. and the way they met being like vincent deciding to hire chisha wkfndn…. like……… they bend over backwards for each other i feel. theres something so sweet about it and like that Intense Loyalty there….. oh to be chisha and be loyal to your emperor Like This….. and then of course the tragedy. vincent grieving chisha broke my heart :(( their relationship just really intrigues me. its so heartfelt with a clear beginning and end and it ends so SADLY but chisha did all that to save vincent!!! chisha would want vincent to move on and be happy!!! chisha and vincents relationship didnt end happy necessarily bc chishas gone :(( but their love mattered okay it matters so much to me. and vincent. and its just crazy to me how chisha can Perfectly Imitate vincent like it shows how deep their connection was. along with of course chisha doing All Of That, as ive said.

A BROTP I have with said character: subaru and vincent + vincent and prisca/priscilla 1000%. like as for subaru and vincent like. the development of their relationship over time is really interesting to me. like they foil so well—they embody these different morals and ideals and vincent really emphasizes like cunning and ruthlessness and how you just cant be a hero or save everyone or solve things bloodlessly. and then subaru tries to do shit like his bloodless siege plan and that DID work. like i think the direction for them seems to be to have moderation with these two ideals? bc of course….. subaru cant be a hero. sometimes you cant save everyone. thats just being realistic. and on the other hand, by arc 8 vincents gone and REQUESTED the emilia camps help. which is a MONUMENTAL step given vollachias viewpoints on strength and weakness and of course the fact that vincents the emperor. like i just think subaru and vincents relationship and development together has been super fascinating. vincents not mean about natsumi (unlike rem or al…) bc why would he? crossdressing has saved his life. and vincent Has learned to trust a bit and turn to others for help by arc 8 which is super interesting i think. that and well. vincent and chishas relationship and their End to it (chisha dying :<<) got subaru thinking about how sad he’d be if otto died which…… well ig vincent and subaru gonna foil some more if otto dies 😭😭😭😭😭 LMAO… but yeah anyway i love the way vincent and subaru really emphasize and symbolize the whole themes and Contrasting Ideals of the vollachia saga. it seems like theyre set up to learn from each other some more :o

AND OF COURSE vincent and prisca. i dont know much yet but <3 like they were close!!!! they cared for each other!!!! he took the time and effort to make a plan for her to fake her death and make her new identity as priscilla!! LIKE he didnt have the heart to kill her….. in an all out fight to the death brawl with his gazillion other siblings for the throne…. like that means so much. im very interested in reading their interactions sometime <3

A NOTP I have with said character: i will probs find notps im more passionate about once i like. actually read more rezero. but like the big notp rn is like. vincent/priscilla aofndndnd PLEASE. THEYRE SIBLINGS.

A random headcanon: like okay theres the makeup headcanon but also in general i like the idea of chisha also doing vincents hair when hes crossdressing and stuff. bc chisha has Long Hair so he must know some things right?? i just love the quiet intimacy of it all……. and like u could have like. u know those moments in period dramas where the assistant to royalty is helping them dress…… yeah yeah pls i need it to happen with chisha/vincent.

General Opinion over said character: im gonna be so honest rn pls dont kill me………. but tbh for a moment when i learned the arc title for arc 8 was vincent vollachia i wanted to throw hands at first. like that was my gut reaction. not because i hate vincent but like it was me just going “URHJFGHH THE TITLE DOESNT MATCH THE OTHER ARC TITLES UNTIL THIS POINT….. NOOOO…. IT DOESNT MATCH…..” like you have arc 5 for example and its called the stars that shape history or something. and its like yeah snazzy title, fits how arc 5 revolves around such a large cast of like the main players for the royal selection. arc 7 is called land of the wolves and yep makes sense. snazzy. fits pretty well. AND THEN YOU GO TO ARC 8. AND ITS CALLED. VINCENT VOLLACHIA. A WHOLE ARC NAMED AFTER A CHARACTER??? IM SORRY BUT I STILL THINK IT DOESNT MATCH WITH THE OTHER ARC TITLES…. SORRY VINCENT BUT LIKE……. UR AN AWESOME DUDE BUT………. IT COULDVE STILL BEEN A FUN TITLE THAT REFERENCED U BUT NO ITS JUST UR NAME…… SORRY MAN BUT I JUST THINK…….

otherwise like. i was mostly neutral on vincent for a while—like ive always thought he was interesting but mostly i was only neutral bc i was more distracted but whatever the fuck my blorbo subaru has going on in arc 7 aodndnd yeah i was just distracted HAH. well that and arc 7 WAS my intro to vincent (and literally everything going on with vollachias politics) so like i didnt have much interest for most of the ex novels until i got to arc 7 and suddenly gained a bunch of side character blorbos along the way. and like admittedly arc 7 is. i feel like its chaotic which—ok yeah obviously its chaotic but i always felt like arc 5 was like more tightly knit with it? like more purposeful, and it was easier for me to get invested in everyone there bc royal selection stuff has been established since the beginning and the main storys been in/around lugunica…. until arc 7. for me it was like jarring at first. especially since like. littol old me with my lack of ex novel knowledge at the time was left floundering a bit bc WOAH VOLLACHIA THINGS ALL AT ONCE…. NEW CHARACTERS…. ANOTHER NEW CHARACTER… NEW CHARACTER NUMBER 1000… and tbh i was like. it felt so sudden all at once to me so i found it hard to be super invested in SO MANY PEOPLE all at once HAH. which i get was like. it was pretty understandable to have so many people. but it took me a WHILE to get warmed up to the vollachia drama for these reasons wkdndn so yes i warmed up to vincent even more over time <33 i think the final nail in the coffin for me caring about him was like. seeing his facade crack after he gets beat up by subaru in arc 8 and he just. Cracks. and he collapses to his knees and sobs over losing chisha and its such a human moment—like i think its easy to forget vincent is still human (ESPECIALLY when vollachia loathes weakness so much!!) bc he’ll do shit like only blinking one eye at a time bc Understandable Paranoia from being Vollachia’s Emperor and he’ll be like ruthless and cunning but like in that moment hes just. crying over losing his dearest friend bc said friend made this elaborate plan to sacrifice himself to save vincent. and when vincent just asked “why did you leave me?”…… like that survivor’s guilt and distress and despair and grief is so universal and understandable…. so YEAH HAH i really softened up some more to vincent bc like i said. its such a human moment and that moment with him and subaru is like tjis big step in vincents development. its fascinating!! im interested to see what happens next in arc 8 and im interested to learn more about him <3 i took a while to get used to the vollachia drama but now i am Very intrigued. and also i know way more lore now compared to when arc 7 first started so yayy!!!!! everyday i become even more of a nerd for rezero. 😭😭 im coming for those ex novels someday. like i said.

also his names are badass ngl. vincent abellux…. vincent vollachia….. now those are names i imagine an emperor would have HAH. good stuff.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Which OC can lift Thor’s hammer ?

Thanks for the ask! Tbh I‘m not sure if anyone truly could? The one with the best chances might be Violet. Though at the current point in time, it’s more of a "Captain America lifting it slightly"- moment. Red might’ve been fully able in the past, but not anymore. And it definitely ain’t any of the others lol

Also here’s a mythology fun fact as well as reasonings/rambles:

Mythology fun fact! That whole worthiness Spiel most people think about when talking about Thor‘s hammer isn’t actually a thing in the stories, instead it can be wielded by anyone but it’s just so fully packed with calamity-juice it‘d instantly disintegrate anyone who‘s not as op (even within mythology canon) as Thor is

As for why those two oc’s:

Violet might have a "Captain America lifting it slightly"- moment, due to having some traits that check out, but aren’t fully there yet, and might actually fully lift it at the climax of/post-[character arc I‘ll totally write someday that’s currently smth along the lines of growing into the duties needed to do but without conforming to the shackles that were attached to it, and being more than just a means to an end]. But the problem is that the "right“ thing to do might not always be the ideal one, and there’s enough situations that just don’t have any, the greater good isn’t always the greatest good, which might lead to being unworthy again.

Meanwhile Red‘s backstory is being the paragon hero trope, which basically fits perfectly, but her present story‘s the struggle from everyone else only seeing her as said trope, and not seeing or wanting the person behind it. Causing a conflict between wanting to be worth their faith, but also hating what it means, leading Red to see herself as unworthy of that faith a bit. So, despite seemingly being the obvious choice, I don’t think she’d actually be able to properly lift it, due to that doubt. Should that inner conflict get resolved, then totally, though.

Mage, Deniz and Yel ain’t gonna happen. Yel runs away from problems (literally), Deniz is very much a "you reap what you sow“ type of person who also puts his own survival first, and Mage is prone to backstabbing and angry breakdowns when cornered. The first and latter‘s also got at least a bit of a drive to protect things deemed important to him despite them, but absolutely not enough to overshadow the other things in any way. With Deniz, there’s not even a despite. Putting himself in total danger just to save his necklace and miscalculated, completely getting f-ed? Should’ve just planned better, that’s absolutely on him.

That being said I do have 2 deities on the sidelines (who’re in desperate need of a redesign lol) So there’s always the mythological version to drop back to. But for the regular Marvel version…what even makes someone able to lift that hammer? It sure as heck isn’t personality since Thor had no problem being a prick before the first movie and Fortnithor was still deemed worthy too, plus for the comics there‘s 298 worthy people listed on the marvel wiki and a lot of them are either alternative Thors, regular people, straight up evil, otherwise questionable, and like 7 Lokis? Closest thing to an actual answer was "striving to be and doing good for others, not your own glory“ and "being worth of all the faith others put in you“ (which doesn’t check out with anything else, but when was the last time continuity ever really mattered in comics XD). It’s that second one that drove a bit of the choices above.

[nicofan57]

while i was watchjg i vaguely remembered him saying to zam (while the whole orbital cannon thing in s5 was going on) that he was not confident in his lore ability or something along those lines and like. i really hope he feels better about it now because he is good at it 😭 his pov of unstable is def my favorite i always feel a crazy rollercoaster of emotions watching it (spoilers under if u havent watched it yet)

its kind of refreshing that uu wemmbu puts his friends over himself over being the normal betrayer guy which we all are familiar with

i noticed it a lot in this episode (repeatedly telling egg to run from fights. not wanting to do anything to provoke zam while they had egg captured bc itd mean egg would die. risking his life to break egg out. agreeing to leave zam alone just to save manepear. many other examples) its also kind of bittersweet bc during the short time zam and wemmbu were actually cool with each other he did the same thing for zam (while they were getting the mace iirc)..! manepear also begging his former teammates to let wemmbu go bc he was nice to him was smth i smiled at too

which. all of that is what makes zams betrayal sooooo much worse. mutiny was doomed the moment wemmbu’s tongue slipped and he said they would be killing zam and spoke instead of mapicc and spoke. they were doomed the moment wemmbu said he’d never betray zam unless it benefit him directly (and when zam follows up with “i thought we had something special” he says thats what everyone thinks).

like even if he was Joking about it and he was genuinely trying to move away from that past of his on this server it jsut made zam paranoid because he does have an entire empire to lose, so it makes sense for him to keep his guard up! especially with a guy who is KNOWN for this.

and despite wemmbu putting in so much trust in him and being loyal (sacrificing the mace to save him like i mentioned, building a whole empire to guard an empty vault because zam asked him to, doubting egg for so long when he kept telling wemmbu that something wasnt right about flame trying to kill him and the vault they were guarding) zam turned on him like it was nothing. it looks like (to me at least) that wemmbu genuinely doesnt know what he did for zam to betray him bc even though he has a track record of it there wasnt one singular time after that conversation in the chamber where wemmbu signaled that he was going to betray. he did the complete opposite!!!

i also noticed that when zam talked to wemmbu after touring the blown up wempire he said he actually serves no threat to his empire so he wouldn’t kill him bc hes just that weak, he kept that belief until the very end. by that i mean like even after wemmbu blew up the empire w his orbital cannon and they were just fighting all by themselves he says multiple times he still doesn’t want to kill him. and i was like. well obviously at that point he knows he severely underestimated wemmbu. so why doesn’t he kill him now?

i guess they both still somewhat cared(?) (some kind of positive emotion at least) about each other in the end. i mean if they held completely negative beliefs about each other zam wouldn’t be hesitating and wemmbu would never say that they’re even after all that so that’s off the table. and since zam ended up apologizing i still think if they sat down and had a conversation their relationship would be fixed … which leads me to the end where clownpierce tells them to follow him i havent watched the parrot video that comes before this one but i know clown made a giant prison so if thats where hes taking them maybe they’ll get a chance to have that conversation there because they’re going to have to escape somehow. and if im wrong then idk! 🤷‍♀️

on a closing note if you ask me i personally dont believe wemmbu really wanted zam dead i think deep down he just wanted an explanation and maybe even an apology which he did get the latter .i hate mutiny duo (joke)

finished wemmbus new unstable video and. hough

[transpat]

pre-relationship pranpat and haq

the word 'haq (हक़)' in hindi doesn't have an exact eng counterpart and translates smth around the meanings of rights and entitlement. in context of relationships, we use it to describe the entitlement ppl we keep close are allowed over us. in our culture, with every bond we form and built, we owe those ppl certain rights over us. like our filial duty to our parents, supporting our siblings and relatives emotionally and/or financially, the loyalty to our friends. lovers and spouses are ppl given all the rights of a family member by choice and obv other stuff like touching u in ways others can't, sharing worries and secrets you wouldn't indulge others w, the permission to carry and lighten ur burdens.

that's why i wanted to talk about pran and pat before they began dating, when they didn't even consider each other friends. theoretically, these two don't owe each other shit, shouldn't be assuming any rights over each other. but pat continues to push into pran's room even when he's verbally told not to, and pran who bottles his feelings up from everyone else, wears his heart on his sleeve (literally) around pat. pran gives pat a glimpse into his every emotion, and pat catches them, stores it away to process later, when he uses it to channel the courage to knock on pran's door.

also. all of this starts in college. after they reach a truce and add each other's numbers. it's not there back when they were shy high schoolers, fighting in public and treading along the delicate beginnings of a friendship. back then, before their meager advances culminated into smth fruitful, it was snatched from them, ripped from their unsuspecting hands. it didn't turn their efforts null thou, doesn't return them to point zero. when they met again, they faltered and stumbled, but they make their way back to how things could have been back then. they found their way back to the path they were paving as kids.

their sense of entitlement isn't just smth they assume either. it's the haq they've willingly granted to the other. we see pran pushing pat out of his room repeatedly, but pat only walks in bc he knows if he was really unwelcome pran wouldn't open the door in the first place. bc like how pran never pushed him out of the room in his parents' house, pat is certain that once pran's fear of being discovered lessens (he doesn't know his interpretation is all wrong, that it was bc pran was in love w him and afraid for himself), he'll be welcome to stay as long as he wants. when he asks pran if he can stay the night, its bc he knows the answer might not be no. pran has a soft spot for him.

likewise, pran lashing out at him is bc he knows that unlike how it is w others, revealing his emotions to pat won't come at a price he can't afford. when he's under all the pressure of rebuilding the bus stop and saving his friends' academics careers, he smiles for his friends, assures them he's fine, he can manage. its only around pat he displays how deeply he's affected by this, lets pat see how he let him down, how much stress he's in bc of this. bc he knows pat listens, pat understands, pat wants to listen and understand. pat makes breathing easier.

in the beginning its just that. pran says they're not friends, but subconsciously hands pat every right of one. the teasing banter, the rude nicknames, the knowledge that he too wants to compete w pat in the freshy contest as badly as pat wants it. he helps him by texting his location religiously, and then when pat's friends screw up, he lets pat help him w the bus stop. here's where things get begin to get convoluted, where the lines begin to blur. letting pat sniff him, letting pat pull his head under his shirt, letting pat massage medicine onto his shoulder, cleaning pat's face for him, allowing pat to pet his head, asking him if he had dinner, asking him about his crush. obv like. none of these things r very platonic, and pran allowing these to occur isn't w platonic intentions either.

and that's bound to happen. ofc it will when pat's in love and only hasn't worked it out yet and pran's been harboring suppressed desires for years. in some ways, it's always been there, it was always hurtling towards this. the level of comfort they share w each other, how little reservation they hold towards touching the other, its as if they haven't been raised as enemies, but have grown into the only ppl who know each other so intimately.

i'm talking about these:

pran doesn't even flinch when pat's hand touches his thigh, and you could argue that's ohmnanon, but honestly it's v in character for them. pat puts his hand over pran's mouth, places it high up his thigh: pran allows it. pran tickles him, pins down on the bed: pat allows it. pran tackles him unnecessarily long during rugby matches, hauls him into hidden corridors? pat giggles about it. pat asks pran to feed him drinks, to let him stay the night? pran pretends its a hassle and readily indulges him.

pran understands what's happening. he watches it all unfold, how pat's entitlement over him grows, mushrooms, into pat constantly making boyfriend jokes, pat pushing his limits w pran in public, pat expressing his displeasure over having to pretend to be enemies, pat walking into pran's faculty w pran's shirt on. and pran lets it happen. he complains and groans about pat in his room but lets him stay, lets him have his breakfast, lets his nosy ass unlock his desktop. he draws the line at first, but always, always ends up letting pat cross it. like how at the music store he scoffs off pat's attempt to ask him about his relationship status, but in the privacy of his own room, discloses his mother and wai's dynamics when questioned, even though he finds it strange for pat to care (he misreads pat here, thinks its out of pat's desire for friendship that he wants to know more about pran, so he's happy to share).

i came to talk about this bc i was (again) rewatching bbs and now that its completed, the fight scene in ep5 hits a different way (again). pran shuts wai out (refusing to divulge the secrets of his and pat's dynamics, a direct contrast to how he freely talks about wai to pat) and sends him home, then turns and looks at pat like this:

he stood there, waiting for pat to look at him and then when pat did, he let all his disappointment and anger flood into his expression. and i saw this and thought wow, that's one of the loudest displays of haq he's expressed over pat until now. he knows what he's doing, he knows this is going to hurt pat and he does it w that exact intention. (also does anyone else think this kinda looks like an owner reprimanding their dog?) its not smth he would do w wai, or anyone else in his life. its smth only pat is allowed, only pat is allowed to see how profoundly disruptions upset him, only pat is allowed inside his head.

this scene makes it clear that the way pran and pat treat each other is no longer 'friendly'. here, we're explicitly shown the haq pran's granted his friends over him, and that doesn't extend to oversharing. yet, pat's allowed that. pran would never tell his friends if and when they hurt or frustrate him, but he's stopped hiding the same from pat when pat chased him to the new dorm insisting he should move instead. pat may be the one who crosses the line when helping pran out w the bus stop, but its pran who first muddles it by avoiding pat to express how mad he is. later again, its pran who dissolves that line completely by reaching across and asking pat if he's had dinner.

back to the fight scene: earlier, when pat waited out for him, told him to 'come here' in front of wai, that too was a display of haq, of the authority he felt over pran. and pran followed. pran obeyed, moved towards him, was only stopped by wai. that's why i said: none of the entitlement they feel towards the other is overstepping, they only exercise the rights they're certain they've been handed. when pat says 'come here', he's one hundred percent sure pran will. he knows he's different from wai, that he's special, that he's someone pran could choose over wai. and so its a petty move. its such a petty thing to use the secret privilege pran entrusted him w in a moment of drunken jealousy, and pat regrets it soon.

but pran's the one who upset the balance first. by playing that song. their song. where most of the haq they feel over each other is abstract, this is the one thing put in cement. that song is one rope fastening pat to pran's side - the other being the guitar - which he's been using to steadily climb the peak pran stands on. he'd expected pran to be waiting for him above, as eager to help him up as pat is to reach him. but pran played that song with others, with wai, and abandoned that post, uncaring if pat were to fall. and pat fell. he fell, fractured his bones, and would still plow past the sharp ache had it been pran alone. bc that pain dulls, disappears, in pran's presence. but faced with wai, with pran's hurtful pretenses, with pran prioritizing wai in that moment, his resentment overflows, pushes him to hurt pran in the same manner. 'that lousy song', he calls the very first song pran wrote, the song pran poured his heart and soul into, the song he's recently realized might have been about them. and he does it, he breaks pran. now, pran's got a shattered heart to match pat's splintered bones.

then, on the rooftop, pat asks him why he played the song. pran doesn't answer him, denies the haq in his demand. telling pran he didn't like it was another haq he'd assumed. and here, pran realizes they've come too far. here, pran knows there's no pretending this is normal or friendly anymore, bc wth they're not even friends. here, he knows if he lets this continue, pat will continue to treat him like a lover while telling him he likes some other girl. so here, pran tries to build a final iron wall, and asks pat smth he shouldn't be able to answer: 'why are you doing this to me? who are you assume those rights over me?' except pat's figured it out at last. his feelings, his love. so, he recognizes what pran's doing, panics, and blurts his truth. vomits out his feelings to try and soil the line pran's drawing.

yeah and then we saw how that went. well, after that, these vague figures of their haq finally come into sharp focus during ep 6. this was the ep everyone praised pat for his respect of boundaries, but that was really always there. pat is smart and perceptive, and pran is the subject he's spent his whole life studying. ofc he'd understand when pran means business and when he's bluffing. so when pran used to push pat put of his room, they both knew his efforts were half-hearted (ofc he'd want his crush in his room, no matter how afraid he is of losing control). although pat doesn't take him srsly at first, he does respect his decision in the end. now, when pran tells him he doesn't want to talk about their kiss, pat knows he's serious, so he immediately shifts the subject.

and last about their bet? even if before these two were subconsciously dancing around the boundaries of romance and friendship, with the bet on, there's no hiding behind denial anymore. still, this is a new territory they're trudging along. esp pat, who's new to the discovery of his own feelings, who doesn't know where pran is mentally, and doesn't know what he's allowed and what not.

pran realizes this soon enough the next morning, when pat uses that kindergarten technique of 'i won't give you my snacks unless you become my bf'. and pran - who's spend years fantasizing about this very thing, who has an idea of the depth of pat's feelings - demolishes the last wall. the finger-lick is pran telling pat where they stand now, both giving and assuming every haq of a lover. and he does it so confidently bc pat's already given him that haq the night before, when he didn't refute pran's accusation of harboring a crush on him.

('fine', he says. 'let's compete then.' instead of the outright way pran had denied his crush. bc never lying to his lover is the haq pat would give them, is what pat gives pran from here on. pran continues to lie bc he has yet to give pat the same regard.)

yeah and this is before they start dating. before pran's ready to jump into a relationship. but he's already given pat every right only a boyfriend would hold over him: calling him to his room to fix his printer, cooking his favorite dish for him, letting pat stay over whenever he wants (like how he'll always return every loving act, every courageous one pat's done for him). when pat makes that unreasonable demand of bringing nong nao over to his room, pran can't refuse him bc this is the haq he's given to pat.

asking someone for help or assistance is smth that requires a truckload of pran's spirit. but pat's someone who just wants to do things for him all the time, and when pran sees that requesting help from pat is also pleasing him, asking pat becomes easy. for someone who's had to shoulder responsibility for every other person in his life, its delightful. to be loved by someone who gets giddy about lifting his loads for him, who's contentment comes from making him happy. that's what makes the printer scene so significant, why pat's eyes shift when pran tells him he wants pat to do this for him. pran gifts him that knowing how important it is to him, later uses the same knowledge against him in that scene w wai (when he asks wai to unscrew his bottlecap for him).

most importantly, he lets pat see his every emotion now, presents him full transparency. we see him let pat in freely into his room, but that was a right pat already had - pran's only hesitation was bc of his feelings. but before where pat's rights extended barely to getting a glimpse of pran's hurt, after which he would be firmly pushed away, now pran allows him to see how upset he truly is, allows pat to alleviate his mood. like a lover would.

and now pat returns that favor, smth he's never done before. pat's never let pran see him hurt before, but now bc he, too, has granted pran every haq of a lover, when he's wounded or mad, he lets it show. after the wai-guitar thing, he waits for pran to return, shows pran every aching emotion that flits across his face, later allows pran a chance to appease him when he's called to the rooftop. although, then, he knew pran probably didn't know why he was so mad, so he's sure pran's calling him for smth he needs. going anyway is bc pran has that haq over him.

these two rooftop scenes also parallel each other. each time it was wai who drove a wedge btw them, not by simply existing, but by stealing a fragment of their lives pat firmly believed was theirs and theirs alone. the song was theirs and only pat had any haq over it, till wai came in. by keeping that guitar safe w him for years, pat assumed haq over it, which was again snatched away by wai. the first time, after wai's exited, it's pran who waits for pat to look at him, so pat can see how he's hurt him, before leaving him behind. this time, it's pat who waits for pran to return, shows him his pain then shuts him out. both times it's the rooftop pran turns to, first to get away, second to fix things. and both times pat arrives later, first to explain himself, next on pran's request.

the reason the whole guitar situation wasn't resolved explicitly onscreen was bc there was no need for it to. pat's hurt and upset came from his insecurities about his place in pran's life. he understands nonverbal implications enough to know he can do this and that w pran, bc these two know each other that well. but he's the kind of person that needs blunt, verbal confirmations about where he stands in someone's life. and that pran's attempted confession gives him. ik he's hurt pran tried to use smth so personal as a winning card against him, but he's also relieved, bc pran's disclosed he definitely wants pat to be his boyfriend. pran wants him. and that's what pat needed to know.

another thing done in ep 7 was how they finally gave us clear context to pranpat's dynamics. like we understand that pran doesn't fully mean it when he pushes pat out of his room, or that he'd be happy to let him stay if it wasn't at the risk of his feelings burgeoning, but it still seemed rude of pat to neglect his pleas and saunter past his protests. ep 7 showed us that sometimes when pran or pat verbally retracted the other's haq, they would contradict themselves louder w their actions.

like this:

and this:

a bit more on the former: its never been flashed boldly onscreen, just mixed in naturally, but food is pran's love language. food is a large part of our cultures honestly, and ensuring someone's stomach is full articulates ur love more blatantly than the words 'i love you'. so when in ep 4 pran asks pat if he's eaten, it is a huge leap. thanks to nanon's acting, with how nervous pran looked about it, everyone interpreted it as such.

then in ep 5, pran lets pat have his sandwich. and i'm positive it was meant for pat. handing it to pat himself, so pat would know he made it for him would literally be the same as saying 'i'm in love w you', so obv pran puts on a show. but he's been up for a while, he's eaten. this was for pat.

again in ep 7, where both of them kind of know pat's the one who'll likely give up (pat relenting first was always part of their dynamic), when he calls pat over and cooks for him, he's genuinely surprised pat didn't cave. later when he goes over to pat's room with food and drinks, you could argue he was planning to play the same game, but he'd cooked enough for both pat and pha; he didn't intend to take it back this time. also in the last scene, the curry must have been cooked by pran. what pran's saying in that first scene entails both cooking and feeding. cooking for pat (and pha) must have been smth he'd already been doing.

and the latter: pat here has already caved in, and then tells pran it's smth he'd do for his 'lover' as if he hasn't already forsaken the bet, as if its still on - just in case pran isn't ready yet (bc the bet itself was for pran to adjust). 'letting his lover win' and acts of services are pat's love languages, thou the former is entirely pran-orientated. ofc for someone so competitive, relenting willingly to someone else is a huge deal, thou this has already been part of their dynamic since the watch scene in their childhood (and pran is the only competition capable of driving him). first it was out of gratitude, then it was out of guilt; but somewhere in between a more concrete reason blossomed: love. (it was also partly bc of their parents' dynamics.)

yielding is one thing, going out of his way to fix things for pran is another. conceding was smth he'd always done for pran, long before he fell in love, and although he says 'lover' in that scene, he v specifically means pran. bc this is a haq reserved uniquely for pran (like how this rivalry is unique to them. he didn't have a frenzied rivalry w any other love interest, so who else would he eagerly relent to as an act of love). the latter was smth that resulted only from his romantic interest in the other. pat cutting a pick out of his id card for pran, pat going to extreme lengths to help pran w the bus stop, pat begging the prof to let them back into the competition bc he knows pran wanted badly to participate, pat keeping his guitar polished for 3 years, pat following him to a rural beachside surrounded by the enemy state, pat continuing the play despite fearing his father's wrath: all of it was bc he was that deeply in love.

this diff is enunciated best in the first 4 eps. where first pat was unwilling to back off from his fight w wai, he later forces his friends to delete that video and manipulates them into helping w the bus stop. where earlier pat was visibly reluctant about shifting even as he offered to switch dorms (bc this was more out of guilt than love), he later gives pran his earphones w/o ever planning on taking them back (more out love than guilt).

anyway there's no purpose to this lol. i just wanted to rant about pranpat and the haq they'd assumed over each other long before the began dating bc i thought it revealed a lot about where they subconsciously intended their relationship to head down. haq is smth given only to those who play a pivotal role in your life, a loved one, a cherished friend. it's the way we daily say 'i love you' without words, it's how we continuously express our gratitude. and it's not smth enemies or even strangers can hold. pran and pat were told not to befriend each other, but gave the other every haq of a friend at age ten. when they found a safe ground to nurture their budding friendship in the dorms (and a shorter period in high school), the flower it blossomed into was that of romantic love, and it didn't come to either as much of a shock. like they'd known it was already destined, like it made sense to them that this is where they were headed. what they said about about going from two ppl who couldn't be friends to two ppl who couldn't be just friends was true.

[crazykacey]

Okay so I wrote some sort of summary of the plot of Sera Myu Chronicle. I might have already forgotten some things and such and my grammar sucks cause it's super late so yeah AND SPOILERS!!! DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS

So the musical actually has its own plot and isn't just the previous musical made into a concert. It is kind of a pseudo sequel to the previous musical ir something. At the beginning Luna mentions something about an old evil returning, referring to Snow Kaguya, after that the 4 inners are talking about going to eat shaved ice(kakigori) at this new place and wondering where Usagi is, as she wanted to go the most. Chibiusa and Mamoru appear and they reveal that Usagi flunked another test and is forced to study by her mom (& Artemis). Then a totally not suspicious person called Ms. Frozen appears telling them that she's the inventor of the new famous shaved ice and is planning to hold an audition to cast people to be in a commercial advertising the shaved ice. And she heard the girls sing so she wants them to take part in the audition. Some songs are sang and Luna feels left out as she would like to sing as well but cannot do that since she isn't a human. "Ms. Frozen" appears and reveals her true identity to Luna and brainwashes her and turns her into her human form calling her Snow Luna. She is then ordered to capture the Silver Crystal or smth along those lines. Some songs are sang and later Snow Kaguya/Ms. Frozen and Mamoru have some sort of ab lid corner where they talk about Riona's (Mamoru's actor) past roles in Sera Myu and kinda fool around but at the same time when he answers each question, the Snow Dancers freeze a part of his body. (They had these badges that had ice"氷" written on and then just stuck them on) One of them actually hit Riona in the face accidentally with the badge which created a funny ad lib. After that Snow Kaguya attacks and tries to brainwash Mamoru which SURPRSINGLY doesn't work. After the Senshi realize what is truly happening, they go on the offensive only to realize that Snow Kaguya has brainwashed Luna. They start going back and forth with the Senshi trying to get Luna back to her senses and Snow Kaguya trying to keep Luna brainwashed. They eventually manage to save Luna and return her to her cat form and they reassure her that there are things that only she can do and all that nice stuff. They then realize that they left Artemis all alone when Usagi escaped her home and get all panicked and they sing a new song as they curtain closes.

After that the special guests arrived which in this case were, Akiko Kosaka, ANZA, Hisano Akamine, Misako Iwana, Emi Kuriyama and Akiko Miyazawa. Surpringly there wasn't any talk show or anything, like in Ai no Sanctuary, which was kinda sad since they just performed their medley and... left. Well they did talk like a minute or so, ANZA mentioned that most of the people in the audience probably weren't even alive when they started Sera Myu and says that everyone was probably able to watch the old musicals later from video tapes and Youtube and that was when Kosaka-sensei stopped her and told her she can't say that. So I guess they are pretty much aware about the copyright mess with Banmyu lol )and iirc ANZA has mentioned the musicals being on Youtube on one of her and Kosaka-sensei's livestreams). And THEN they left. But while there was no talk show, in the pamphlet, there is a Q&A with all of the guests so I guess it was just a time management issue. After that the service numbers started and we were allowed to stand while cheering and I was at first literally the ONLY ONE who was standing XD after a while some girls behind me stood up, probably cause they couldn't see anything from behind me. The staff where just holding these signs saying that's okay to stand but everyone just ignored them. Kinda rude lol It was only when Moonlight Densetsu started when more people started standing and there were 6 songs in the service numbers so yeah. Also there was no curtain call rip

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[weasleypogues]

fight club (p.h.)

request: hii can i request smth angsty with pope ? maybe it could end well for both the reader and him but overall it’s just filled with angst and slow burn and tension ? ty xx

ofc lovieee!!! loving this pope recognition finally!! :)

this will be a two part becuause this was longer than i expected!!! part 2 here!!!

masterlist.

you literally felt like you could not sit still. anger was pulsating through your veins as you paced back and forth on the porch of the chateau. you also felt the piercing eyes of pope follow you back and forth as you struggled to form a cohesive sentence.

“it’s just- ugh! she can’t get away with this! she thinks because she’s a kook that i’ll be begging for her forigveness and shit like i’m a starving peasant just to save my reputation! i’m a fucking pogue, i don’t have a reputation to uphold!” you spat as your hands clenched together so hard you swear you were going to accidentally draw blood from your palms.

vanessa was a kook that you never had problems with when you were kids because you two had a friendship that was secretive and playful because of opposing groups. it wasn’t until middle school was when she ditched you, similar to kie and sarah’s relationship. thankfully for them, they sorted it out. however, vanessa was bitter and bitchy every chance she could get. 

“yes (y/n)! keep it fiesty! i wanna see you win a good cat fight.” jj egged you on.

“you’re gonna make yourself go crazy if you don’t just sit down.” pope spoke in a sterner tone than you would have expected. but as the rage filled you from vanessa, pope’s tone was not helping. you felt a tinge of hurt in your chest as he expressed his clear stress and annoyance with you. but you weren’t going to let it go that easily; not in this state.

“i’m fine just the way i am, thanks.” you responded just as passive-aggressively as he did. you literally had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes so you wouldn’t egg this on, because the last thing you needed was for pope of all people to be on your bad side. 

you heard him scoff from behind you and his footsteps faded away. you spun around so quickly, maybe even too quickly to play it cool, to just see a flash of him as he turned the corner. your eyes flashed to john b, kie, and jj who had expressions that were just as shocked as your own.

“what’s his problem?” you asked, expecting an answer real quick before you had to go investigate it yourself. your teeth grinded against each other and you felt your face and ears go hot. 

“he probably just doesn’t think this is worth it (y/n/n).” kiara stated, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and giving you a look that said don’t let it get to you. kiara shared a quick glance with john b and jj, which definitely did not go unnoticed by you.

“w-what was that? that little look you three shared?” you asked pointing your finger at them interchangeably and confused but angrily eager to find out. you raised your eyebrows, expecting another speedy answer as you finally turned towards jj who held his hands up in defense and bit his tongue. 

“cut pope some slack. you’ve been looking for trouble lately (y/n), it’s been keeping him on edge each time.” john b responded and slapped his hands on this thighs before getting up off the couch. you felt your cheeks get a little hot and your jaw drop slightly.

pope was trying to be protective of you. this was not a secret that you and pope were always flirty with each other but neither of you ever acted on it. both keeping the same sad mindset, if they wanted to, they would. everytime you talked about this with kiara and sarah at a girls’ night, they playfully judged you for thinking like that and tried to encourage you to just go for it. 

you took a deep inhale and relaxed your shoulders and face, feeling the tension ease up on your body. “she’s asking for it...look i don’t want to make pope upset or anything but vanessa can’t keep pulling this shit. she’s asking for her teeth to get knocked in.” you huffed out as you grabbed your backpack and phone to hop on your bike and head home. 

--

your grabbed your phone and backpack as you headed back outside to your bike. you didn’t even bother to text the rest of the group about catching a ride to tonights kegger because you were just a little fired up from earlier. they were your friends and if this were any other case, they would be backing you up. why is this time any different?

you’re recalling yourself getting ready. stud earrings because she can grab hold of hoops. your hair in two braids because there was less surface area for her to snatch onto. sneakers to make a run for it in case shit gets bad. 

what the rest of them don’t understand is that not only was vanessa mean, spoiled, and made your existence on the obx difficult, was that you had a bumpy past with her. more than just losing a friend. she made up a rumor based on fake ideas that she overheard her parents talking about. when she would run into you on the street with her other kook friends at the ripe age of 13, she would be a bystander as they spat insults your way. that always caused a strain in your friendship. 

until one day, she started the picking on first. she judged you on your family’s financial situation and said quote-by-quote “i heard her mom cheats on her dad with all of her little pogue friend’s dads. who knows, they could actually be related and we wouldn’t know. she’s a whore and i’m sure she’ll end up just like her.” tears still brim your eyes at that memory. you wouldn’t dare tell the rest of the pogues, whether it was out of embarassment or fear. it was best for them and their own minds that it was never brought up again. since then, it seems like constant torture from her. 

you pulled up on the beach and hopped off your bike as your tires were definitely not made for the sand. you laid it on a tree and made a b-line to the keg that john b was basically guarding. “thought we’d hear from you.” you heard kiara state as she sat on the sand and glanced up at you, squinting her eyes to keep the remaining sun from basically burning them.

“yeah well, just got a lot on my mind.” you responded. you didn’t want to be so abrupt with them but your blood was basically boiling with the idea of vanessa. john b stared between you and kiara and handed you a full red solo cup which you gladly took, taking a gulp.

“soooo...” jj started, throwing an arm around your shoulder, “cat fight tonight?” you felt a chuckle rise out of you as you playfully rolled your eyes.

“if you’re lucky enough, maybe you’ll get front row.” you joked, sending a smirk jj’s way and taking another gulp. you felt a presence behind you and turned to be faced with pope. his facial expression had clearly changed from what you saw from him last time. he looked almost guilty and concerned rather than aggravated. 

“come to snap at me again?” you said, turning towards the horizon on the water. looking into his eyes right now was difficult. maybe because it was the idea that you knew some part of you wanted to snap at him for him snapping at you earlier but you couldn’t make another enemy. not tonight. 

“about that...can i actually talk to you for a minute?” pope muttered, instincitvely cracking his knuckles, clearly scared to tread on water. you felt your shoulders relax and your facial muscles follow suit. placing your drink and backpack on the ground you followed a few paces behind him, closer to the sand where the tide was rolling in. although he didn’t stop, he wanted this to be a walk and talk situation. 

you strolled beside him, both of your hands slightly brushing against each other every now and then. while neither of you took initiative to grab the others’ hand, neither of you pulled your hands out of that pathway either. that connection and touch felt nice. it was reassuring that his snappiness, along with your own, was out of love and protection of each other. 

“you won’t be happy with what i’m about to say...” pope started, basically holding his breath.

“so why say it, pope? i know it sounds bad to say outloud but, why not just let me fight her? she has made my existence so unbearably difficult on this island and has slandered my name and countless others of those i love too much and for too long. i’m sick of being a pushover and letting her get away with it because of mommy and daddy’s money. im done!” you blurted out, letting more info out than you expected. “why does it bother you so much? if this was topper and john b going at it, or rafe and jj? which keep in mind, both have actually happened, i’m sure you would be more hesitant to stop them.”

your strolling came to a sudden halt as pope took a step directly in front of you, face to face. he looked longingly into your eyes, somewhat darting back and forth between your own eyes to search for an answer to his questions or even an answer to yours. 

“(y/n)! i can’t see you get hurt. i know how badly you want to do this and how much it means to you but in the end, what is it going to get you? an even worse reputation among kooks, bloody nose, and a black eye? is it worth it?” pope rambled drasticaly. 

“it is worth it! and i’m so thankful that you care about me and my well being and everything in between but this is something that i have to do. once and for all. i’m not putting myself and everyone i love through this torture anymore. and if that means beating the shit out of her and getting a bloody lip and battered up on the way, than so be it!” you responded, using your hands quite animatedly throughout the performance. the waves seemed like the loudest thing on earth as you awaited an answer from pope. he looked defeated and anxious, knowing that there was no getting through to you for this. 

“i-” pope started before cutting himself off, looking deafeated yet again. he ran his hands over his face in frustration and as he let his eyes shine over the tips of his fingers, they locked with yours. you felt stuck in place and in a trance for a split second before you felt a pair of hands on your waist and soon enough, you were lip locked with pope. 

instantly you pulled away, your heart feeling full and your legs feeling limp. your hands made their way to his jawline, slightly caressing his cheeks and neck as you pulled him back into the kiss, elongating it. 

he pulled away, shocked yet proud with himself. you could not help the small smile that made it’s way onto your face as your cheeks felt hot immediately. “i can’t believe i’m saying this but...fuck it. beat the shit out of vanessa.” 

the small smile grew as a laugh escaped your lips. you were quick to grab his hand as you both made your way back towards the kegger that was becoming a little more dense as the minutes passed. sarah, kiara, jj, and john b’s eyes were quick to fall on your interlocked hands with pope. both of you kept quiet, playing it nonchalantly. but you couldn’t help but notice pope’s look to john b and jj, all with smirks lined up on their faces.

part two out later!! :) 

[sour-n-salty-citrus]

Do you have any hopes for the season finale? I saw in another ask, you described the dynamic between rick and morty this season as "very weak, distant, and downright frankly boring" and I completely agree with you! I hope that, because this is most we'll see rick and morty interacting this season, it'll have at least a few moments of what makes their dynamic so interesting to watch.

(Ok i started airing my grievances with this season, which ended up being... long, so skip this paragraph (starting at / / /) to get to my thoughts on the finale)

Oh gosh I remember that ask (I think-). And yeah, maybe I'm being a bit overly critical. I'll probably look back on this season with retrospect, and a kinder, fonder view. Ik androgynousblackbox (think thats right) made a great point about it being the season FOR rickorty shippers. And sure, I agree on some bits, like Rick acting all pissy and partying the way you would if your ex got with someone new in the planetina ep. Overall though, i think my problem lies in that I was enjoying more individual moments than episodes themselves, especially the middle three. For example- Amortycan Grickfitti. Like, I really liked the idea of the Ship getting on a crazy adventure with Summer and Morty (and Chutback). I like the idea of a Beth-Jerry-Rick adventure. But put together, it's just kinda... meh? You know? I liked the first half of the Thanksgiving special... but it kinda dragged on after that. I get that they want to give other characters (particularly female ones) more attention, which is completely understandable and i encourage it(!) but I can't help but find it underwhelming. Like, Summer in the voltron ep was like- girl how are you STILL vying for Rick's attention! He's the worst! Haven't we done this already? (I will say though I ADORE how far Beth has come, props to her for continuing to seeing through her dad's BS. I was worried the character would relapse into a more typical s1/s2 Beth, and I'm glad she didn't). Some of these plots, funnily enough, seem more fitting of the comics (they actually had a voltron parody already). Fun and entertaining for two or three-something issues, not so much a 22 minute episode. i think most of my complaints come from the dynamic between our titular characters- ok, I know I'm very biased (I mean you can see it), but I came to the show primarily for their relationship. It doesn't even feel drama-fueled, just that they kinda... can't be arsed. I'm torn because on the one hand, they're unhealthily codependent and this separation is probably a good thing, but on the other... it doesn't feel natural? I'm not sure if that's the right word- it's like, season 4 had them practically joint at the hip, but all that's suddenly flung out the window. It just kinda feels like this "i got better things to do" vibe from both of them and its strange. The only time they both got a solo adventure (I'm classifying "solo" as an adventure where they spent a significantly large portion of time together, without the other family members) was in the sperm ep and Thanksgiving ep. And, well, in the Thanksgiving ep Morty felt like a side character in his own show, and the sperm ep... um. Yeah. I don't think it's AS bad as people were saying, but I was cringing the whole time (the second hand embarrassment for Morty was so strong I had to turn off the episode multiple times and return to it. It's just like- godammit MORTY). And I think there's good reason those two seemed to be the most disliked episodes overall. They're the ones RaM spend the most time together and it's... meh. Meh? Meh. I don't mean to say the season overall is bad (it has loads of good points, and its amazing for Smith family as a whole) just that if we're talking specifically about the dynamic between these two? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a single episode from this season so far to use as an example of their relationship.

/ / /

There's one thing this season has been pretty good at, though. And it's showing us what happens when Rick is alone.

And that brings me to the finale.

"Who is Rick without Morty?"

Well... we already know the answer to that. Pathetic. Sad. Lonely.

This season has been phenomenal in humbling Rick. (And trust me I'm happy for it- every time someone beats the crap outta this shitty old man I'm like YES!!! IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES!). Ep 1 had his "nemesis" clearly besting him, ep 2 had Beth making constant digs (love her) and overall pointing out his extreme callousness and cruelty towards even himself(ves). Ep 3- when Morty shows interest in a girl and ditches him (like seriously it's not like he's moving out, chill) he immediately goes on a bender and develops a deep attachment to the first person he can (wearing yellow, funnily enough). Ep 4, he devotes himself to becoming an "honest man" for his new child, only for it to instantly be taken away from him. Ep 5 highlights how RICK is the asshole for making fun of and taking advantage of someone well-meaning and honest, if "simple", and how literally not cool that is. Ep 6 has his crazy rivalry with the president, and they both get smacked down a couple pegs for that. Ep 7 shows what happens when he allows himself to get carried away, and that he can end up driving everyone else away in the process (lucky they still wanted to save his ass when he needed them). And episode 8? Hooooo boy. Episode. 8. We see a direct parallel in Birdperson with Morty, and the whole "Rick and [insert] 100 years!" Rick has few people he cares about, arguably only one or two that he truly devotes himself to, but when he does, boy does he go HARD. We see younger Rick, optimistic, energetic, friendly and hopeful. And we see all of that crushed in minutes. Rick is desperate for a companion, someone to see the stars with. He needs someone there, someone he can trust and rely on to stay. Someone like Morty. So without Morty, who is Rick?

No one.

And the thing is, Morty doesn't need Rick anymore. Not like Rick needs him. In season 1, Morty was this bright-eyed kid who was new to the cosmos and the multiverse, who needed his grandpa there with him as they explored all these places together. But that's not him anymore. That's not them.

The promo has Morty using the portal gun to go somewhere w/o Rick's permission (i like to think it's boob world lol). It doesn't matter to me as much where he's going, as much as he's doing it alone. He doesn't just not need Rick there, he doesn't want him.

(Also correct me if im wrong but I've missed that sweet portal gun so much. I think the last ep was like- the first time this season we saw it).

Morty's response to Rick? "Replace me!". And wow. Wow. WOW. Morty doesn't give a FUCK! I think Rick thinks that because he's so smart, that he can offer so much, that Morty will come crawling back, and I don't think he will.

Hopes for the finale! Hmm. I mean, I definitely hope "evil" Morty makes a reappearance, haha. I think we all do tbh ;). I want to see some Morty development too, this season has been very Rick-centric (not that there's anything wrong with that!) so I wanna see what's in store for Our Boy. I really hope we get to see the Citadel again, and see the state it's in, but I doubt it. We know something super big is in store, it's just a question of what? Other hopes I have is some Summer + Beth action (please let them team up Im BEGGING) and Jerry too ahaha. I'd love if some other side characters made an appearance as well. Oh- I'm definitely expecting a dramatic cliffhanger at the end of the first half leading to the second half, with the kind of angsty music that leads into the credits (pls that shit is so good (OH WAIT imagine if it was like, for the damaged coda, but like- the chopin version or smth so it could be more subtle maybe bruhhhh)). Ok haha, maybe that's asking too much, the writers made it clear in the story train ep that they weren't gonna do that big dramatic showdown (... unless 👀). Oh, I'd also love some Premium Angst too, like someone getting kidnapped/nearly dying (like ACTUALLY nearly dying). These stakes better be so damn high I could spear a man on them! OH, also I remember androgynousblackbox (is that right? I hope it is) mentioned something along the lines that they could be driving Rick and Morty apart this season in order to have them come back together stronger than ever in an explosive finale, which, I'm strongly hoping for myself.

Thanks if you made it this far! If you have any thoughts on or hopes of your own for the finale please feel free to share! :D

[oneandonlysoftie]

Hi dear! I've seen you didn't talk much about Sadistic Beauty these days... What are your thoughts on ending and two side stories? Especially Wookying and Minho's one? Tbh I'm disappointed and disturbed :(

i had to step out of this story bc it was leaving me frustrated, irritated and disappointed not to mention very confused LOL. yep, im still fairly disappointed with where the author went with this. a major conflict that should or could have been in the main story was the whole drama including wookyung fighting with doona to get minho but it was swept under the rug only to return as some after thought as a side story (probably excluding doona).  there was such a great opportunity to finish it in the main story but the author decided that minho had to suffer all of the consequences and everyone else is going scot-free LOL. truly a shame. i wasnt surprised that doona was ending up with haesol, never was into them, still not into them. i have a certain distaste for characters like haesol, he’d be best described as a simp. and i absolutely loathe simps lol. there’s a fine line with being there for someone and being there in hopes that smth more might change, he def wants to date doona and saying that he’s okay with how things are and if they don’t date, is basically a blatant lie to himself. if that was the case, he wouldn’t let her string him along and use him for sex. the feelings he has for her will just be kept in the back, but it will most likely resurface in some way or another. in the long run, it’d hurt him and that’s just not worth the hassle. obv since the writer wanted them to happen, he’s prob gonna get what he wants lol. i def found the whole rivalry btw donna and wookyung in order to get to minho way more fascinating, and wished it was explored more. now, the only thing im happy with is gyerin is probably getting her happy ending with the new girl. she’s also the only one who went “fuck this” once she saw doona wasn’t going to reciprocate her feelings, and im rlly glad she did that. at first, i didnt think much of her, but now, seeing how the story went (lmao), im all for gyerin being happy. and as for wookyung and minho, im interested in how their story will unfold. but i feel so so bad for minho, he was a jerk and an asshole i wont deny that, but he didnt deserve all of the hate and harm he got and still is receiving according to the side story preview. wookyung is still a great and fascinating character, i do like characters like him, but how he was used was just not satisfying. and it seems like there might be a case of stockholm syndrome coming up where he might fall for wookyung. i just wish doona had smth to do with it before she parted ways or she could have helped minho, but yeah. *shrugs* this story left me confused as to what the author is doing, there is wasted potential and opportunities at every corner. the plot goes one way then goes another to end on a weird note. i also think the whole gl, bl stuff was more of a fanservice thing and that’s probably why it’s more of a disjointed story? as in, i feel like the gl and bl stuff should either have been more of a focus and woven into the story or it should have been entirely separate so the author wouldn’t have to shove many things at once and just focus on one or two pairing. one thing i might add for the story is that it felt as if it was trying to make us surprised, but the so called “twists” that happened just made it more confusing and those probably shouldn’t have been there as they don’t add much to the story narrative. back to gyerin, you can see that gyerin and the new girl can have their own separate story from the start (she didn’t have much to do with the primary conflict and could easily have a flashback to doona instead of the whole fanservice lol). the same goes for wookyung and minho as well, and it’d have been perfectly fine. at the end you basically see three pairings, the m/f, the f/f and the m/m. however, we dont even know if minho is into men? so i’m not sure how’s that gonna be considered BL? then again, every pairing could have been in the main story, but it’s not? for some reason??? it feels as if the author wanted their pairings without putting in the effort of making it into the main story, hence the side stories or they just wanted to make it separated without putting too many characters in it. obviously, for wookyung and minho, there’s no way doona wouldn’t have done smth if it was fully explored in the main story, and it might have changed the ending too. there’s multiple ways the story could have gone, but this one was the only conflict that was much more interesting imo, but it wasnt used that much.

gyerin didn’t really have much to do there other than be lesbian fanservice for doona (and the audience, writer and maybe the artist too?), and to be some kind of support for haesol. that’s about it, so i can understand why she’d not have a full blown romance in the main story, but seeing that she keeps reappearing, she still could have her side story integrated into it. lmao i don’t even kno if doona is bi/pan lol or if she just had sex bc she was drunk then did it just for pleasure without being interested in women at all.

EDIT: iirc doona did get aroused seeing gyerin uh doing stuff, so it could be possible that she is interested in women, but maybe only sexually? although i still could be wrong lol and it could just have been a moment of “I’m straight, but horny and u’ll do for now”. she could be in the closet too, who knows.

overall, sadistic beauty had some interesting conflict, some good characters (ill never like haesol lol), good art and the storytelling by this artist is well paced, but the execution and where the story went leaves a sour taste in my mouth. would i recommend this story? absolutely not. it is so frustrating, and for what? i wish i had saved myself this headache from the very start but the art and the fact that doona was a dom was what reeled me in. i only came back to it to see if the writer redeemed their story in some ways, but... well... you saw how that went.  i would follow the artist if i could, their art is beautiful. however, i cannot say the same for the writer. from my exp, it seems that many webtoons have good art, but the writing definitely leaves way more room for improvement. that said, i do hope ppl will learn that in order to make a great comic/webtoon/manga and so on, it is not only about pretty drawings. the story and writing should be up to par with the art. if not, it should be at least close to it. because the art might attract people, but if the story doesn’t resonate, if it doesn’t make much sense, then ppl are bound to leave and drop it. and what is a story, but pretty pictures and nothing substantial in it? nothing, but superficial beauty.

[borom1r]

Lawrence & Eric asks!! (btw, ty for sending me an ask too + I hope I can answer it soon,, energy low) but um!! honestly I cannot get enough of Eric/Lawrence interactions tbh, so like. what qas the first time one of them did smth for the other & they realized "oh, this is love"? bc I think you've talked abt it w other polycule members but I don't know if u have for these two. if you have tho: what are Lawrence & Eric's favourote things 2 do w Daniel & Diana? (alt. cld be like... th first time Eric infodumps 2 Adam <3) apologies if these have all been answered b4 also + I hope you feel better soon,,

bksdh thank u dude;; idk if ive answered these b4 but honestly m always happy 2 talk abt stuff multiple times hehe

+ ooohh umm i think. i did talk abt this b4 but i think for Eric it's definitely the time where like. hes talking to Lawrence abt his game and aaaaaaaall of the guilt that comes with it especially since. bc he failed he wasn't able to be there for Daniel through his recovery. and Lawrence hearing at and just shutting that line of thought down with: "If I had been in your position, I would have done exactly the same thing. I would've torn that monster apart if I thought it could save Diana." and just the weight of hearing calm, dignified Lawrence admit he would've attacked John, that he would've turned to violence and Eric isn't a monster for wanting to protect his child. bc Lawrence would've done the same. i think thats when it hits for Eric that like. yea, he loves this man.

as for Lawrence's side of things.. mm....

i dont think its anything rlly big as much as it's... one time, after an exhausting day, Eric surprises Lawrence w/ a mug of tea exactly how he likes it n just sits with him, and i think that quiet comfort n familiarity of "this person knows me well enough to know just what makes me feel better when im wiped out" where Lawrence is like. This Is Love. I Love Him. its not very grand or whatever but its also not smthn Lawrence really had before. <3

also as for their favorite things to do w/ Daniel n Diana! bsfkhskj really the answer is "whatever Daniel and Diana" want bc lets be. real those two have their dads wrapped around their little fingers. thankfully Daniel is a gr8 influence for Diana so they really don't get into trouble ever, and he's outgrown the puppy dog eyes phase. but DIANA? oh you can be sure if she ever turns on the puppy dog eyes its. Extremely hard for either Eric or Lawrence to say no lmao. for a serious answer i think the best time was at a mall along the lines of the Mall of America (for those who've never been/don't have anything similar nearby, it's a HUGE mall featuring tons of shops, restaurants, a surprisingly large indoor theme park including carnival-style games, an arcade, and a rope course; an aquarium, a mirror maze, mini golf, and a movie theater). they make a day of it and though they have to go slow (it's exhausting for all of them tbqh), they have a ton of fun.

Daniel's favorite was the aquarium (he was the only one who wanted to pet the stingrays in the touch pools lol), Lawrence smokes everyone at mini golf, Eric almost gets a concussion in the mirror maze. Eric + Daniel compete on the Ghost Blasters ride while Lawrence lets Diana go in the bouncy house (they rode most of the other rides together! Diana + Daniel sat on the very front of the log ride together), and Daniel gives Diana all their arcade tickets so she can get a stuffed animal (even though she already got like. 3 from actual stores bfshjkfbh). they get lunch at the rainforest cafe (Diana's choice!) n close out the day with a movie. they are all WIPED THE FUCK OUT by the time they get home but it was 100% worth it

+ OOFHSJD first time Eric infodumps to Adam!! i think we've both touched on it but i rlly do think the first thing he hyperfixates on is. rats + rodent care. (on somewhat of a sidenote i think he gets rlly into building toys for his rats. like mazes n shit! its all very impressive. William sews him rat hammocks and he just. ooofhsjdfk!!!!)

i think it's actually The Day they're going to get rats, like they've got the cage set up n all the supplies finally and Adam's coming with to the pet shop to pick out some rats and Eric is just! going off abt all the facts he's learned from reading care guides and doing research. n Adam's just smilin a little and listening while Eric goes off! n he's not gonna be like "omg yr infodumping!!" bc pointing it out is the Best way to get Eric to shut down but he is like. so happy tht Eric feels comfortable enough w/ Adam + passionate enough to infodump!! its a big deal when obvs its smthn Eric's been struggling with

[mrvltwimagines]

The Secret

PETER PARKER X READER

SUMMARY: You didn’t even know how to process your own emotions over the situation, what would Peter think?

WARNINGS: None really, a lil self doubt. a bit of angst, but ends fluffy!

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

REQUEST PROMPT: Would you do an angsty one, where reader finds out she's pregnant, and is afraid that peter will break up with her, so a she starts to ghost him, or smth like that, but when peter finds out, he's super happy and they make up - I did age him a bit so the characters are graduated out of high school!

You and Peter took great precaution when it came to having sex. Like any other eighteen year olds, you both weren’t ready to be parents. Especially considering it’s almost a nightly occurrence that Peter puts his life on the line for the sake of helping innocent civilians.

You have never, and you never would ask Peter to give up his crime fighting. You saw the peace and joy it brought him, even when he ends up with black eyes or other bruises scattered across his body. He found any pain that was planted on him was worth saving someone else from death or serious trauma. You would never want to take that away from him. In fact, it’s that selflessness that made you fall in love with him.

Even with all he’s been through, he always comes home to your guys’ shared apartment with a small smile and a kiss. The two of you dated throughout all of high school, before he even turned into “spider-man”

You guys have been through so much more than anyone knows, and the instant you two graduated you were quick to find a nice apartment in the middle of New York City to start your adventure off by yourselves. You loved everything about being in a relationship with Peter. While you sometimes wished he was there more often to fall asleep together, or even that he was there more than fifty percent of the time to wake up to, there wasn’t anything substantial that would ever make you want to leave him.

That was until the positive sign showed up on the pregnancy test you had just taken.

Your mind wracked through any and all of the times you and Peter had sex, and you can’t think of any time where you had forgotten to take your birth control. You had a set schedule every day, and taking your prescribed pills at the same time is a constant that you haven’t forgotten ever. 

Panic started to set in as you began to think about what this means. A literal human was going to be growing inside of you, and your boyfriend was a crime fighter that could die any day. You hated to think like that, but it was the truth. It was the icing on top that you both were so young. You were just about to start your first year of college, and Peter was about to start training with Tony at the Stark Tower. Things were falling together, just for this tiny plus sign to cause everything to fall apart.

What if he leaves you for this? You shook your head at the thought. You knew he wasn’t quite ready to have a kid, but he wasn’t heartless. But what if he gets angry at you? What if he asks you to get an abortion? You were stuck. You fully supported those who wanted to get abortions, not everyone is fit to be a mother, or has the right financial situation, or some people just don’t want to push a baby out of their vagina, but you’ve always dreamt of having your own kid. You’ve wanted to practice your own and better parenting techniques that you knew you naturally had from years of watching your parents do the wrong thing. You were conflicted between despising that you got pregnant, and feeling unbelievably grateful and happy that you were. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You still held the pregnancy test in your hands as you stared at your own wide eyes, unable to stop yourself from glancing down at your stomach as if you would even be showing yet. You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the front door open and Peter’s signature greeting yelled out to you. You quickly threw the pregnancy test in your makeup bag, zipping it up, and heading out of the bathroom to the kitchen where Peter was pouring himself a glass of water.

When he saw you, a smile popped on his face, and for a split second your mind was at ease. You loved Peter, no doubt about that, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he’ll still love you after this. You can’t help but wonder if the longer you wait to tell him, the more angry and upset he’ll get with you.

“Hello, love. How was your day?” he asks as he walks towards you, giving you a quick kiss. You swayed a bit and licked your lips that had become dry by the question, telling him your day was fine and that you hadn’t done anything that crazy. You technically weren’t lying. 

“How about you? Anything exciting? Are you going out tonight or are you staying home with me?” You ask, trying to turn the conversation away from yourself.

He went on for a bit, talking about what him and Stark had discussed about him starting to train with the Avengers. The thought of him becoming an even bigger, actual superhero freaked you out a bit. You knew the Avengers were constantly traveling, fighting larger scales of crime that terrorize huge cities versus the usual small crimes that Peter fights by himself locally. The fact that you were pregnant popped into your mind and you could feel yourself grow nauseous. He wouldn’t want this. Not when his life was picking up so much, there’s no way he would want a kid right now.

So you stayed quiet. Each day you woke up, you couldn’t tell whether you felt sick because of the pregnancy or because of this huge lie you were hiding from Peter, but either way, you hated this feeling.

On the fourth day of managing to keep conversation short without disturbing the peace between you and Peter, you had a doctors appointment to confirm whether you were actually pregnant. You didn’t doubt that you were, even though it was early on, you could feel it deep in your body that things were changing.

By the end of the appointment you felt numb. You were indeed pregnant, and hearing it come from a doctor with a “congratulations” after the announcement, you felt everything hit you. You were pregnant. At eighteen. You were pregnant and Peter didn’t know. You were pregnant and sad about it because you didn’t know where to go from here.

What do you do? Is it time to tell Peter? You cursed at yourself when you thought about leaving him just to spare him the pain and awkwardness of telling you that he wasn’t ready and that he didn’t want a kid. You didn’t realize you had started crying until you started to tune in on the looks people were giving you while you walked home. You probably looked crazy, but that was the least of your worries at the moment. 

You made a plan in your head to try and stray away from Peter. You knew it would be hard considering you live together, but he was gone a lot of nights and you knew it would be easier to leave him if necessary if he’s gotten used to functioning without you in every situation.

You thought you had been discreet about slowly pushing yourself away from him. Days went on where you would still hold conversation with him, but didn’t feel it was necessary to be in the same room with him all the time anymore. You didn’t cuddle close to him when you felt him get into bed, and most of the time he didn’t bother to pull you any closer to him. You were breaking your own heart, but it was for the better.

“Alright, are you going to tell me whats going on with you?” the question threw you off as you set a plate with dinner on it in front of Peter before turning back to leave the room.  

“What?” You knew exactly what he meant. If anything you felt a bit stupid trying to play it off.

“You’ve been distant. Did i do something to upset you? Because i promise i’m sorry for anything that might have. I’ve been wracking my brain but i can’t think of anything,” he frowned, gesturing with his hands indicating that he was lost in the entire situation. 

You dragged your teeth against your lip, the entire conversation making you uncomfortable. You had spent days planning everything out in your head, and you’ve thought about how to answer questions just like these, but right now all you want to yell out is that you were pregnant. You didn’t want to hide it anymore, but your mouth wouldn’t physically move for you to say the words. You knew that settling with a shrug of your shoulders wouldn’t be a good enough answer for him, and by the deep sigh that he let out while dropping his head a little to look down at his feet, you could tell he didn’t like that. As quickly as he did that, he began to stand up and walk towards you. Your heart rate picked up, but was lessened at the feeling of his arms wrapping around you. You habitually laid your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent and calming your nerves a bit. 

“I have something big to tell you, but i don’t know how you’ll react,” you whispered out. His hands started to slowly rub along your back, and he pulled away a bit to look down at you. His eyes were soft, and his touch was even softer as he moved his hands to each of your arms to hold you steady. 

“You know you can tell me anything,” he mumbled out while trying to keep eye contact with you. The second tears started to well up in your eyes, you were quick to avoid his eyes. You didn’t want to cry. You cursed yourself in your head. You had imagined the day you would announce your pregnancy to him so many times, but in those situations you were older and further in life and it would be a purely ecstatic moment. This was anything but that.

“I’m-” you paused, shaking your head a bit before looking back at him. You could tell he was growing frantic at seeing you stumble over your words by the crease in his forehead. You wanted to comfort him and tell him nothing was wrong, but until you got your words out and let him know, you couldn’t guarantee that nothing was actually wrong.

“I’m pregnant,” you squeaked out. You clamped your eyes shut for a split second before daring to look at his face. His hands tightened on your arms for a second before releasing you all together while he stood taller. His eyes grew wide and his mouth didn’t budge much, not giving you a definite answer on how he might be feeling. His hand moved up to his mouth, pinching his lip before nervously running it through his hair.

“And you’re positive?” he manages to ask. You felt your heart break a little at the question. You knew that you weren’t going to receive an extremely happy reaction, but you could feel both your self doubt and his doubt seeping into your body.

“Yeah, i went to the doctor about a week ago,” you mumbled out. This time you couldn’t stop the few tears that escaped from your eyes, turning your head to look anywhere but him while waiting for him to say something else. 

“hey,” his voice was gentle, but you still couldn’t get yourself to look at him. He could still very easily say anything but what you want to hear. He could be thinking of his escape plan and still sound like the sweetest person to exist.

“I think it’s great, y/n!” he continues. Your eyes grew wide as you finally pried them from the wall and back towards him. A gleaming smile covered his face, his eyes lighting up just as much, “If i know you, i know why you waited to tell me this news, but i can reassure you that i’m so fucking happy.”

This time your tears fell, but a smile began to form on your own face. You felt like an entire persons body weight had been lifted from your body. His hands found your own and pulled you closer to him, placing your arms to wrap around his neck. 

“I know we’re young and have so many things going on, but i can guarantee that we’ll be great parents. I can easily talk to Stark and he’ll be more lenient with me. I know you have college, but you can still do that while pregnant. Things will be fine, y/n. I need you to know that. I need you to know that i’m not going anywhere and that i’m ready to do this with you,” his words sent waves of comfort through your entire body, the stress of holding the secret in began to dissipate and excitement was starting to take over.

“You mean it?” you ask, still in disbelief that the secret was out and how confident and accepting Peter was being towards being told that he’s going to be a dad.

“Of course i mean it,” he chuckles. He leant down a bit to place a kiss on your lips, pulling you in even tighter, “We’re going to be parents, y/n! That’s crazy! But a good kind of crazy! You’re going to be such a good mom, and i’m going to be a dad!” he exclaims. A smile still covered his face and prompted your own to grow even wider. 

“You’re going to be the best dad, Peter. i’m so sorry for doubting everything and hesitating to tell you. I was just scared, this is huge!” 

“This is huge, but we’ll be fine! You have nothing to worry about anymore, i will be here with you for everything, alright? We’ll get through this and by the end of it we’ll have our own child. I love you,” he quips back. You nodded at his words, pulling him in for one last tight hug before separating yourself. 

The secret was out, and your world didn’t implode. You felt guilty over keeping it to yourself for the few weeks that you did, but now you knew things were going to be just fine. You had the love of your life still by your side, and now you could enjoy your pregnancy knowing things would be alright. You felt like you could breathe again, and your mind could finally wander to the exciting things that being pregnant brought like putting together a nursery and shopping for the baby. 

You couldn’t be more grateful that you ended up with someone like Peter. You knew the first day that you met him in freshman year that you two were meant to be, and this experience definitely solidified that belief.

[genshins1mpact]

okay so i know i mentioned on here before that i have a bunch of dreams when i sleep and how i had that cute one with xiao & mingxiao before right?? 👀

forgot to share it sooner bc life but anyway i had a funny/cute dream with diluc the other day (i'll try to add a read more bc this got a lil long but it doesn't always work on mobile so i'll try & fix it asap if so!) but yeah this kinda turned into a whole fic of its own lol,,

☆ the dream itself is here, under the cut! ☆

basically, to not have to explain all the lore about my oc/self insert and all that again, the tldr of it is that i landed on teyvat similar to traveler but didn't really have anywhere to go so after gaining his trust and becoming close, diluc sort of just takes me in and lets me work at the tavern + lets me stay in a spare room at the winery. so yeah we often walk to/from work together if he's working at angel's share that day, and i guess everyone just assumes we're dating?? ...except for me, that is, who still thought he was in love with jean (bc of the whole stormterror thing).

one night, kaeya's been hanging out in the tavern all night, venti's already left or passed out or smth, and then once things close up, diluc and i get ready to head off, but apparently this is the first time kaeya's seen us head off together/in the same direction, and immediately decides to start teasing. he's all "ooh look at the two lovebirds, you've moved in together already? how'd you ask her out, i didn't know you two were a thing, congrats bro so glad she likes you back" kinda stuff and then i just start laughing and telling him to knock it off, wouldn't want jean to overhear and misunderstand. and they're both just like ......wait what? and i'm all "oh cause diluc likes jean right? i thought the were like an Unspoken Thing yknow??" and both stare at me as if i've grown like 3 heads and started doing a one-(wo)man barber shop quartet. lightbulb goes off in kaeya's head that i don't know jack shit & we're not a thing (yet) and diluc is just thinking like "i can't believe you're literally this oblivious, holy shit". hence kaeya's teasing The Sequel, where he just starts complimenting my uniform and says i look like a cute little maid or whatever and diluc is silently fuming behind me. he mutters something along the lines of "how oblivious can you possibly be?" and all but throws his coat/jacket over me to try and cover me "bc it's cold" (yeah yeah sure, jealous much? haha), then asks me how i never noticed how he felt about me. so i'm there having an earth teyvat-shattering moment of revelation that it WASN'T jean he liked, and that he didn't do all those nice things for me bc i'm friends with her, but because he liked...me????

kaeya smugly walks off with a little "you're welcome", after a his shenanigans, and i'm still trying to process things bc i'd never seen diluc that way, always assuming he'd liked someone else so i never really looked at him that way. we kind of quietly resume our walk back "home" and im clutching his jacket close to me, then we both try to speak at the same time, he tries to ask for my response/reaction and i was trying to ask for some time. he's kind of confused and almost looks hurt, but agrees to give me some time to think, since i explained the whole "not seeing him in that light" and didn't want to answer on a whim. that i didn't want to mistake gratitude for all he's done for me for affection and stuff so he was like hey good point i wouldn't want you to feel like i forced you into this, and no you're not gonna get kicked out/fired if you don't like me back, it's okay. diluc mentions having to be away for 2 weeks cause of a work trip and that i can respond then.

in the meantime, a bunch happened like a trip to liyue with aether & paimon, a whole girls' talk over tea with jean & lisa over the situation, and got my own lil serenitea pot so i potentially had the option of moving out now if i wanted to. i decided to my day off from the tavern to go out on a little adventure, just journey around and test out the teapot home and all that jazz. ran into noelle and we hung out/trained for awhile together and invited her in for for a tea break and stuff, like it was just really cute and fun. but apparently diluc came back a few days early and was freaking out when i was nowhere to be found, no one had any idea where i was, and was just really concerned something might happen to me. then noelle arrives through the gates and overhears him asking lisa stuff and goes all "oh she's over by (idk where i was maybe that bit of land between mond & liyue?) and he thanks her for the info and runs off to find me. he finds the teapot (somehow) on some rock but doesn't see me and i come back out of my lil abode bc someone outside kept saying my name and then i felt the teapot shake (he'd picked it up). cue a dramatic reunion in the rain bc when isn't it pouring and trying to kill me in teyvat in true romcom fashion i guess.

diluc is all "do you have any idea how worried i was about you? all alone out here? any of the abyss mages could have hurt you or taken you away or-" just rambles on and meanwhile im having this sort of Oh You're Back and I Think I'm Feeling Things realization (absence makes the heart grow fonder lol). so there's just this kind of strong, desperate hug moment and everything's quiet, save for the pouring rain and faroff occasional lightning strike. and i whispered something along the lines of "i think i'm in love with you" and his eyes widen before responding smth like "i think i'm in love with you too" with a fond smile, the first genuine huge smile i've ever seen on him (pls picture him like in the manga and not his in game ._. face PLS-🤣). cue another romcom cliche reunion hug + kiss scene in the rain, in which we take shelter from the rain inside the serenitea pot bc of how bad the storm kept getting.

(aether has tubby but i have chummy, kinda looks like the teapot salesman, and i usually just call her chums.) so we're greeted by chums who kind of is like staring daggers at diluc bc i showed up with a guest unannounced, drenched, and we're holding hands. she's overprotective in a very Mom Friend kind of way but she just means well. we change into some baggy share clothes i have and then i scrambled up something to eat (since we can apparently cook & forge in our lil pot i love that so much-) anyway so we decide to get some rest bc it's late and have the Oh No There Was Only One Bed conundrum until we agree to just share and sleep on opposite sides bc nbd right? i turned in my sleep and essentially was hugging his back whilst asleep, and he just turned over at some point and hugged me too, and booooiiii was this fire boy WARM, he felt like a personal heater and after all that rain, i slept like a log. diluc woke up before me cause he's used to an earlier schedule and slips out quietly to speak to chummy, asking if she knew where the supplies were cause he wanted to surprise me with breakfast (and man can he cook! goodbye kfc, hello good hunter). chummy is still kind of not vibing with him, until he apologizes for "intruding" and explains everything that's happened, to which chums kind of softens up and realizes he's sweet and just wants to do something nice, not go around raiding the house. woke up alone and went to look for the source of the smell, and kinda just clung to him, making diluc blush. don't remember too much more after the cooking thing though besides going for a stroll around my teapot layout, meeting all the pets that chill there, and kinda just having a relaxing day off together. the winery staff was probably freaking out wondering where we were, but we were just kinda in our own world (literally?), enjoying the peace before returning to all the chaos that is teyvat. cutest damn dream ❤

[yikesharringrove]

how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.

(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕

The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.

He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.

“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.

The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.

“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.

“Billy Hargrove.”

“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.

They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.

“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.

The professor raised his eyebrow.

“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.

“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”

“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”

“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.

“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.

He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.

It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.

“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.

“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.

“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.

“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”

“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.

“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”

“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”

“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”

“When did you get into punk philosophy?”

“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”

Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.

“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.

“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”

“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.

“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”

“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.

“I think we could make something happen.”

They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.

There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.

“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.

Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.

Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.

He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.

“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.

“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”

“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.

“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”

“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”

“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.

Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.

“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.

“Why did you pick social work?”

“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”

“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.

“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”

“Can you, what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.

“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.

“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.

“So, was I right?”

“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.

“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.

“Yeah, I would really like that.”