#'no i dont want to talk' like fuck you honestly
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dealer!chris n innocent!bff!reader who eventually have sex ...
☆ . . . chris is so so sweet <3 gently coaxes you into believing that it's okay. that it wont ruin your guys' friendship at all, even though he knows once he hits he'll want to come right back. he'll be damned if he lets his best friend go fuck some other guy.
☆ . . . chris ends up taking your virginity when hes high. you were slightly tipsy from a few drinks, crawling all over his lap and giggling like some puppy. he couldn't exactly help the hard-on he got, y'know? hes a man. you couldnt blame him.
☆ . . . the two of you were just talking, truthfully. after chris had finally managed to get you to loosen up a little you were so smiley and squirmy, accidentally rubbing against his cock without even realizing. tipsy giggles left your lips every second he said something, his mind feeling all fuzzy and not quite there.
☆ . . . the topic of sex came up. chris isnt sure how, or why. "you've never been fucked?" "no..? s'that a problem?." "no, no.. jus', you're missin' out." chris is chuckling and staring at you like he wants to devour you, and you completely miss it. "m'parents always told me to wait until marriage" and he nearly starts cooing at you with how adorable you sound, tugging you closer as his hands cup your cheeks.
☆ . . . fast forward and he's lazily grinding up against you with his hands planted firmly on your hips to help you roll them against his clothed dick. "ohh, i know.. feels good? huh?" the prettiest little whines are sounding from your lips that have been bitten raw, eyes glancing down to where you repeatedly hump against your best friend. "chris..." his name sounds so good in that whiny tone, said in a low mewl as you grasp at his shoulders.
☆ . . . you dont know fully why you feel like this, all hot and eager for chris to continue helping you rut against him. then again, it isn't all sunshines and rainbows for him either. chris is fighting back the urge to bust in his pants, holding you close and letting your body move slowly on its own.
☆ . . . soon enough, he's breathing heavy as his cock strains against his jeans. staring at your nervous face as you tug your panties down and he has to stop himself from grabbing you and sitting you down on his dick until his tip hits your cervix. he knows it'll hurt. and chris just happens to be so kind to his best friend, he's letting you sit down in his lap with both of your legs thrown across his.
☆ . . . your head leans back, his chin resting on top of your head as he sinks his middle finger into your cunt. "fuck, oh.. look at you. s'cute, baby" "chris.." you just sound so pathetic to him, as he hushed you gently. his other hand is wrapped around your stomach, holding you close and keeping your thrashing to a minimum.
☆ . . . your gasp turns into a moan when chris eases another finger in, the squelching sound of your own cunt echoing in your ears—making heat spread up your neck to your face. it just feels so... weird. your hips twitched gently and yoh didn't miss the chuckle that sounded from your best friends mouth, his free hand sliding up gently to squeeze at your tits.
☆ . . . when you start shifting around more and your hand grabs at chris' wrist to try and slow the sensations down, he knows you're close. a soft hush comes from him as he continues with his ministrations, ignoring the way you whine and cry about how you feel weird. "jus' let it happen. s'not a bad thing, baby.. c'mon, cum for me. theere you go" the wave of pleasure that washes over you is almost heavenly, your body tensing then going slack a few seconds after, lips parted in heavy gasps of air.
☆ . . . you think you would be done honestly, until chris is tapping the side of your hip with two of his fingers. "up, c'mon. gotta help me now" and when you shakily lift yourself up from his lap, you hear the sound of a belt buckle and fabric being slid off skin. chris' hands are looping around your stomach gently to pull you back—ordering you gently to close your eyes. "trust me, i got you. you trust me, right?"
☆ . . . of course you trust chris.. which is why your eyes fall shut—letting the brunette pull you back and sink you down slowly onto his dick. except your eyes fly open the second his tip is nudging into your entrance, a shaky gasp falling from you as your hands grip at his wrists. "chris.. that—that hurts, y'know." except he ignores you, clicking his tongue in his mouth and slowly sinking you down further. maybe he should've stretched you out a little more, but god, he was so hard to the point it hurt.
☆ . . . once chris is fully sheathed inside you, he lets you adjust for as long as you need. he knows he's big, and he knows you've never had sex. you were gulping in big gasps of air like you were dying, even though it was fine... chris' hands rub comfortingly up and down your sides, rolling his eyes at how dramatic you were. "s'kay kid.. stop doin' that," "no, i feel full..."
☆ . . . when chris was finally able to move without you throwing a fit over how much it hurt or something, he's thrusting up gently and cursing under his breath. you've turned around just so you could hide your head in his shoulder if needed, and you do—burying your head into the crook of his neck and letting his hair tickle your skin.
☆ . . . chris isn't sure how long it's been but when you squeeze around him he knows you're cumming without you having to say it, and he almost busts his own load right then and there. biting down on his lower lip, he urges you off him when he's sure your orgasm had washed over you—shoving your shoulders down to get you on your knees between his legs.
☆ . . . chris knows you aren't on birth control or anything, so he opts for a quick lesson teaching you how to bob your head up and down his length until he cums over your pretty lil' face. surprisingly, for someone who's never sucked dick before, you were damn good at it. fitting whatever you could in your mouth and then wrapping your hands around whatever else was left, just like chris had told you.
☆ . . . he isn't the best at aftercare. you guys took a shower and he seemed so awkward, because normally the girl he just banged would be out the door in a few minutes. but you're his best friend, so he just pats the bed and you two watch a movie or something. cuddling always felt too intimate for him, never been one to initiate it or entertain it.
☆ . . . you don't complain much. sure, it would've been nice. well, it would've been really nice, but you were a little too scared to ask chris to hold you like you guys were dating. were you two dating now? probably not. you've never really seen chris with the same girl for more than three days straight, and he's told you a bunch how he hates labels. huh. so why is that pit of longing still stuck in your chest?
—
ur girl wrote this with a vicious nosebleed. i lowk need to write for matt more so some stuff for him is comin soon hopefully !!! after i finish all the reqs i got tho
@conspiracy-ash @sturniolosfavkayleigh @lvrsturniolo @st7rnioioss @meatballlover10 @ashlishes @ferdzom @55sturn @chriseatingmeoutin4k @unknvhx
©eph3merall 2024
#ᶻz eph3merall#ೀ dealer!chris#ೀ innocent!bff!reader#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo drabble#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#the sturniolo triplets#the sturniolos#sturniolo triplets#sturniolos#sturniolo smut
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hi hello so for any people curious bout the dream beef i am talking about im gon chronicle it all here in a hopefully fully contextual way for both longterm weirdos and new people who dont know bout my parasocial beef w dream. ill try to keep my biases out of it somewhat but anyways,
this began with a podcast Tommyinnit and Jack Manifold have together in which they had philza as a guest. Episode 9 is currently behind a paywall on their patreon but they have a youtube channel where they post them publically as well. Not sure if they make all their episodes public eventually or not but i digress.
Twitter user _constel_ has posted 5 clips from the podcast in question that contain their discussion about dream. I have downloaded the videos but tumblr doesnt want me to put them in this post so i will try and sum up each clip as I go.
Clip 1: Phil starts talking about how once the dsmp was done people would joke about how their 'contracts' would be over and they would be allowed to talk about things behind the scenes. philza mentions the infamous philza tweet in response to dream.
for context, the main discussion is around this exchange from around february 2021, where dream 'jokingly' argues that he is responsible to tommy's high viewership on youtube:
Most of it the tweets are deleted by both parties but it was very much a whole thing. Phil has apparently joked about revealing the context of his reply 'when he retires' (mentioned clip 1).
Jack Manifold had apparently been in a call with tommyinnit when the exchange was happening and recalls tommy being extremely stressed. The context philza gives is that he was texted by tommy to look at the thread while he was going on a walk and tommy was panicking over if dream was genuine (mentioned clip 2). Philza says "I'll find out if he's fucking joking' and that he essentially vibe checked dream. Tommy also states that after the twitter exchange he legitimately wrote in his diary to never be rude to dream: "never be horrible to dream. It's not worth it. It makes me too sad". Additionally jack manifold establishes that he hated dream from the beginning, they hate each other, and that, although he acknowledges dream aided him through the dream smp, he hates how dream 'takes ownership of other people and their accomplishments because he was a guiding hand' (mentioned clip 3).
Jack manifold mentions that tommy was 16 during this exchange and philza additionally says it was out of line (Clip 4). Philza more openly talks about there being 'reds flag after red flags' with dream in clip 5.
OKAY thats honestly a vague description and theres a LOT more so watch the clips if u want. Heres another tweet 'summarizing' it as well. But anyways this of course had people talking about dream again, some people (accidentally?) acting like this is about dream smp lore, and a lot of people concerned about how tommy was afraid to upset dream and would blame himself when dream picked fights with him.
Dream's response on dreamwastaken was to tweet about how he appreciated everyone who was on the server dispite differences, as well as a zip file to download the dsmp server/world file.
Worth noting there is a limitation on how many people can download the file within 24 hours so now people are only getting an error message when trying to access it which is fucking funny. On his private he also tweeted "love and appreciate you guys <3 very happy to be uploading again :) hope to keep it rolling" (Im not cropping out the reply its funny)
Thats all hes said so far, I havent seen tommy or jack manifold talking about it either. technically it isnt outright in response to their podcast but obviously everyone is taking it as such.
final stuff/my thoughts: dream has obviously had a tendency to kinda 'take credit' for 'making' the streamers who were on the dsmp and its notable that in his tweet he still acts like his server was the reason for people's fame and relationships. Saying 'a group of creators most of which would never have collaborated under any other circumstance got together and made something really cool' is just his thinly veiled way of still taking credit for tommy's fame and the relationships he and others have made and its moronic. Not to mention dsmp was very much NOT the server that got these specific people together, i mean techno and phil met through minecraft mondays, tommy and jack manifold met both of them through smp earth i believe. Even if the dsmp wasnt a thing they probably would have collaborated with other members through mcc eventually. the idea that the dsmp was what brought them together and a bunch of minecraft clowns would 'never have collaborated under any other circumstance' is stupid.
anyways sorry this is long as shit. im going to pray dream doesnt let this go for at least 3 to 5 business days as per usual
#fuckit im tagging things#dsmp#dream smp#jack manifold#tommyinnit#philza#dream hate#spent way too much time on this.#if more happens ill add it in rbs. might try n post the clips seperately too#philza says some goodass shit
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Thoughts on okarun possessive fucking? Like someone eyes you up and he just cant have that!!! Ahhh imagine him totally going turbo and dragging you someone private ❤️
aged up! turbo! okarun and possessive sex
he doesn’t necessarily get the whole possession thing in relationships.
its like, why do that when you already have someone, you know? you should be able to trust your partner, knowing that they wouldnt do that to you.. its just morale and respect. he honestly just didnt get it, he would feel bad if he just yanked you from everything and everyone and growled a ‘your mine.’
but, that all goes away when you basically talk to some dude in the final year with you guys, knowing he’s popular and.. basically sluts himself out. he didnt understand why women liked him, he was obviously a walking red flag! and the fact that he’s talking to you.. it starts a rage within him, no, not that. more of like a selfishness to him. it just happens, turbo granny’s powers kicking on and him just walking away from it. not like anyone can see his whole appearance becoming demonic.
that all went out the damn window by time you both went home, he locks all the doors, and drug you upstairs just to hog tie you. it was a sloppy job, how the fuck people were able to perfect shibari was beyond him.
“okar—“
nope, he puts his hand over your mouth, grabbing your hips and pushing himself deeper, deeper, deeper until he knew he was in your stomach. (hypothetical, men cannot get that deep.. but shit, it feels like it.) “do ya think he couldve gotten like this with you?” yeah, he was livid.. him pulling out damn near the tip and he slams back in. your whines go into his palm, soon after moving it and tilting your head up to look at him. “do you think he could have you bent over and fucked?”
you struggle to say the words he wants to hear, but he can understand what youre trying to say. “no.. i pr—omise..”
“you know why that is?” he asks, tossing his glasses to the side and getting into your ear. “because this pussy is mine, yeah?” he knows the answer, the amount of times he could sit next to you and slip a finger inside just reeaallyy quick. “you, are fuckin mine. not that loser.”
you nod, your eyes screwing shut and face curling up because god, were you so close. it all comes to a halt, your demonic boyfriend stopping and just looking expecting to you. “please.. please dont do this now, im so close baby—“
“are you mine only, or are you two timin’ me?” he asks, hearing your promise of belonging only to him. of course hes satisfied, but hes also a annoying shit. “huh? cant hear ya fer som reason..” he mumbles, putting all his body weight into his thrusts until your squeals of orgasm buzz in his ears. “huh, can hear you now.. must be goin’ deaf or somethin, man.”
#dvorahasks#okarun x black! reader#turbo! okarun x black! reader#okarun x reader#okarun#ken takakura x black! reader#ken takakura x reader#dan da dan
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I. I. IM. I. HELLO?????????? HELLO. EXCUSE ME. HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. (<- POSITIVE)
oh yeah addendum to my tags in that poll, it makes more sense if i put it this way : he'd run that shit like the navy at FIRST, and be super wound up about keeping everything in check, but as his sanity starts slipping his plans do as well. you know when a deadline gets closer and closer and you start frantically using whatever the first thing you think of is, and then in hindsight youre like "why did i make that decision??" thats what i feel like it is. like... panic/anxiety clouds the mind and makes you do stupid things. same thing with overconfidence. euphoria. lust. desperation. et cetera. decisions made in a short time limit/relying on instinct and feeling are often not the best
#guh. ghouhh. VISCERAL REACTION FROM ME I ACCIDENTALLY CHOKED ON MY SPIT GOD SAVE ME#PACES IN CIRCLES. JUST GIVE ME A SECOND TO PROCESS THE HORRORS I JUST WENT THROUGH#I DONT WANNA SOUND LIKE IM EXAGGERATING OR BEING DRAMATIC BUT HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT.#GENUINELY GENUINELY ABSOLUTELY CHILLING (<- PUN UNINTENDED AND FRANKLY SHAMEFULLY MADE)#prev ->#Also sorry if this is grim kjsjjd hopefully it’s not too bad#<- end prev#I MEAN. THATS HOW INTERACTIONS WITH THE DEMON ARE I DONT THINK ITS OVERKILL#AND ANYWAYS GOD. GOD. ITS SO.#okay im trying to contain my excitement right now (despite what it seems) but man. dude. holy fuck.#i WOULD spend my entire time talking about how this is so well written and cool but also i need to restrain myself JSNXJSXN#“im trying to have a conversation with my friends” <- implication that the lion is intruding on chils subconscious there? at least i think#actually that makes a lot of sense considering laios' first meeting with the lion is his dream#also honestly how dare you (positive) include laios trying to touch his shoulder oh my god. lies on the floor.#it doesnt work... not this time... its too late...#bangs my head against a wall. IM SORRY IM JUST GONNA START YAPPING FOR 40 PAGES LIKE I USUALLY DO ON UR POSTS BUT LIKE#“you were never listening to me you were just granting subconcious desires indiscriminately” AGH man. reminds me of how someone pointed out#how the succubi likely take advantage of desires you dont want to confront...#the feeling the lion got rid of... shame? guilt? remorse? absolutely JARRING how empty it leaves him. like... that was the last thing#holding together his sanity. his ability to feel regret#also. yknow. extremely visceral the way the party all reach for the place the demon fed on him from. its well intentioned but god it really#feels like an invasion#NOT TO DODGE AROUND THE ACTUAL EATING SCENE BY THE WAY. ITS JUST SO. SO. THAT I. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT THAT WOULDNT BE#WAY TOO PERSONAL IS ALL.#man. MAN#anyways last note. “overindulgence would just cause me more trouble in the long run” AGHHH AGHHHH I LOVE YOU. PARALLELS BETWEEN THE LION AN#THE CHARACTERS. GOD. KEELS OVER. CURLS UP ON THE FLOOR.#except the demon has all the power here it can manipulate most of whatever variables it wants to without consequence#AGAIN I DONT WANNA SOUND OVER-FLATTERING IM JUST GENUINELY. look ok like i said. restraining rn despite what it looks like. this is so cool#guhhh grrrghughurrg eats my hand.
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literally i wish the worst on her shes such a bitch
#oops im rambling#i literally just wanted to apologize to her#but if i do talk to her im gonna be so nasty she'll wish she never met me#i really just should've fucking left it alone bc now youre treating me like a piece of shit for what#like what did I do to YOU that you cant even take 2 seconds out of your day to say '#'no i dont want to talk' like fuck you honestly#the fact that all i wanted to do was APOLOGIZE for something i honestly didnt need to apologize for#and youre gonna act like that?#yeah i hope youre miserable forever fucking loser
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Why have sex when u can watch blackhead removal videos
#u even get bad sex. which is when you want to throttle the neck of whoever’s doing said blackhead removal#someone in the comments section said all of us are watching this thinkijg move over and let me do it. and honestly. yeah#it’s hard to find good videos that either 1) dont cut out just before the satisfying part or 2) don’t take fucking FOREVER to do it#in the most cursed awful way possible#im very passionate about this. unfortunately I can’t just blurt this out like a water cooler conversation#but it’s fucking satisfyingggggg#I’m not a big fan of the squeezing but like if u use the tweezers JUST RIGHT and twirl it around and then PULL IT OUT. chills#if orgasms were real that’s what it would feel like#I feel like laios dunmeshi just talking about this#yapping
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Hello @silmarillisms ! Those are valid points so I will try to respond. Thank you for your response. Let me add more details to explain why I said what I said.
Tolkien did highly probably have ptsd after going through traumatic experiences of the war. We cannot know of course. That it was traumatizing is sure.
What Tolkien and nobody else knew in his times was how to heal PTSD which is what I meant by Tolkien did not know how trauma works.
Having it and getting rid of it is two different things. To get rid of my ptsd i had to use the first available manuals of the usa army that came out ten years ago. Before that there was no solution even though of course the doctors were trying a lot of things.
Your point of elves mental health is of course valid just as me not having any rights to tell how to write. I am not saying people have to write correctly ptsd treatment. Neither that elves work same as people.
Why was it important to state how mental health works and to have elves work same as humans from my perspective which you can happily ignore of course....and why in first place i wrote my first post:
People use art as help and I hear it daily from everyone around that: they think ptsd works like this and that, anxiety works like this and that, depression is cured by this and that.........and all of that circulates through chats, tv, social media and art and all of it is wrong. And gets people hurt very much and deeply. Because they did not get the right info.
And most of population works on examples they see around and big part of it is art.
I had no goal of criticizing anyones writting....I can see I tagged my post wrong so it sounded like "stop this and do what I just said or else I send a balrog" I am really sorry about that, I am going to change it to more informative.
What I meant was if you want to write correctly a person with ptsd then here have a very simplified version of how a ptsd usually works.
And hopefully many people who are victims of abuse or anything else will be on correct path to healing. Does the artist have a job to do this? Not at all. I wrote the post as information for writers not as rules. And I hoped more fanfiction with helpful info might appear.
I dunno who you met and what kind of traumatic experiences they had. And I of course dont talk about everybody. Thats why I tagged it as very simplified version. What I wrote is the usual way it goes for soldiers in dangerous situations which what was the first ops topic.....feeling of safety after years of war.
The manual I used on myself made by the usa army describes ptsd of soldiers going like this and is used on all ptsd soldiers victims which is why I wrote it as highly pissible for Elrond to have it the same.
Lastly mellon....I am really writting all of this to help people and I am sorry it trigered you. I understand when one simplifies things too much they sound like bullshit. Yes each person is different, each trauma is different and I am not a doctor. Thank you for writting your post and pointing out what I fucked up. I am sure I missed like half of it again so please if you feel like it do respond again. I hope sooner or later we all get both therapy and kind words we need to be happy and healthy just like Elrond. Honestly good for him.
I wonder, after the Third Kinslaying, when was the first time Elrond felt truly, actually safe again
I just mean. like. no matter how kindly Maglor treated the twins, ultimately. no matter that there was love, later. from that day on, it's just, Elrond would know, all the way to his core, that he is small and defenseless and people who are bigger and stronger than him can come and tear his life apart and change it at their whim and he can do nothing but go along with it. and then by the time he is old enough to maybe have a shot at fending for himself... by then there's an ongoing war of apocalyptic proportions, that might wipe out even the strongest who still stand if the fortunes change even a bit. and he'd know it. there's nowhere that's really safe and no matter how strong and brave and skilled someone is they can only affect their own happiness and survival a little bit
by the time war of wrath ends it's decades since he last knew true safety, he's known practically all his life that the world is not safe and his life could be shattered to pieces at any moment with very little warning... even when the peace comes you don't just easily shake a lifetime of knowing that all the way to your core
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this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
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genuinely though if they continue venom without tom hardy, or without eddie brock, i will blow myself up and not in a good way
#like. you cannot do Venom without eddie brock! AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE ACTOR FOR VENOM WITHOUT DOING A UNIVERSE REDDT#*reset#also. you cannot fight knull without venom. YOU CANNOT FIGHT KNULL. WITHOUT VENOM#i think. god what i HOPE happens is that venom finds spiderman in the barman (the barman is. so important for some reason which. yknow)#and venomxnewhost finds spiderman. spiderman gets BLASTED into the SSU because?? who knows honestly#and along the way eddie brock is there and he and venom are reunited#i think the movie will end with either venom and eddie dying for REAL this time (together!) OR it will leave them#..happy? together? they say their goodbyes to spiderman (venom ((of course!)) takes the symbol) and they just. get to live#happily ever after#yknow?#the set-up for the next movie is there and by GOD do i hope they use it. PLEASE#please please PLEASE use it#i dont want them in secret wars i don't want them in the mcu i don't want them in another fucking movie that isn't about them#i want them. one last time. getting reunited. maybe... daring to share a kiss? or at least a forehead touch? yknow? and finally getting#their forever after#because you cannot have venom without eddie brock. and you can't have a new eddie brock without resetting the entire franchise#also the way tom goes from 😄 to 😐 when talking about the ending and back to 😄 when it's about any other part LMAO#anyway#sjonnie.text#venom 3#venom 3 spoilers
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sorry i need to be a hater for a minute. tim drake: robin is a plague upon this earth because it is late 2024 and i Still can't go into kon tags without seeing that stupid fucking blond bitch. enough
#rimi talks#i wanted to like tim/ber i wanted to like it sooo bad. unfortunately that is the worst comic i have EVER read.#i dont even have anything new to say about why tdr is bad bc i know ive said it all before#and trust me there is a fucking LOT to say about why tdr sucks shit#but every now and then some post just reminds me of how viscerally i hate that book#and then i sit here like the angy powerpuff girl pic from the ''no sweet poflo'' post.#megfitz really was like ''i HAVE to shipbait even while im already writing tim with my wattpad oc''#and so many of you people ate that shit up and asked for seconds.......... GET STANDARDS#then again im not sure if the people who can't shut up about kon being whiny abt tim/ber have even read tdr or if theyre just that annoying#because honestly tdr is a comic made for people who hate comics? so it could go either way
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It is not okay to speculate whether or not someone is suicidal. If they claim to be, you should 100% take that shit seriously and give them the benefit of the doubt.
That said, if someone is using their own suicidality as a weapon to gain sympathy, emotionally manipulate someone, or to push other people down, GENUINELY fuck that person. While it's not okay for us to doubt that statement just because they're weaponizing it, that also doesn't mean we need to ALLOW that manipulation to convince us of something.
If you feel the need to use your terrible mental health as a step-stool in a conversation to make your side more heard than the other, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself. And I am saying this as someone who ALSO has shit mental health and has been in the trenches with it before. I get it. I understand. But also STOP.
It's tempting to want to save your own ass over recognizing where you've gone wrong, but just a word of advise: recognizing where you've gone wrong WILL save your ass and give you better mental health and wisdom down the line.
However, emotionally manipulating people absolutely will not.
#suicide mention#tw sui ment#tw suicide#suicide tw#tw sui#tw sui talk#james somerton#k with all that out of the way i do wanna say that this is a response to james' apology#im honestly glad he deleted the vid and also that he's going to genuinely get into a better place#that is GOOD#i mean this genuinely i hope he gets better#but also the fact that he opened the video with an emotional guilt-trip is something i have just been wanting to talk about for a long time#it's manipulation 101#if you wanna tell your audience you're struggling with mental health that's one thing but not in a fucking apology video#and if you do need to mention it DONT MAKE IT THE VERY FIRST THING YOU SAY#that's such a shitty thing to do#what you need to do is apologize to everyone FIRST and say everything you need to say#and THEN bring that up#but even then i'd disclaim the shit out of it and make sure everyone knows it's not a guilt trip it's just true#but like. at the end of the day dragging your own mental health into an apology is a double-edged sword#tjhat really just depends on the situation#like i said i genuinely hope he gets better#but it's not just him doing this shit. i've seen like 3 cases of this shit in just the past few months#i guess james is just my excuse to finally say something about it
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me
#i grew my hair out so i could twirl my hair while giggling about bald men#and also t.o.p of bigbang#and short men i see at the grocery store who honestly make me feel light-headed with raw and unbridled Want#but that's just a joke. i am. Lesbian#''no ur not'' I AM#anyway i used to be so ripped and hunky but now i am frail and sickly#what getting a job can do to a mf#thankfully i quit my job last week YIPPIIIEEEEEEE so now i will work towards becoming an absolute hunk again#wish me luck#ALSO#if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low#but in a new exciting way#anyway i used to be a gay man and then a stone butch dyke (as seen above) but now im practicing being a girl#it is very difficult but it is also fun. ive never been a girl before so it's a lot#anyway i bought two super cool sexy dresses yesterday for the first time ever in my life#sexy dresses meaning up to my neck and down to my feet and past my elbows. kind of like a wardrobe straight out of the handmaid's tale#from (to quote my friend) ''*The* old lady store'' thanks man. well i think theyre pretty and its v exciting bc ive never been a girl befor#anyway#who wants me#i still use the name emil online btw and i honestly always will i think it's just so me and also i do still answer to he/him dw#in a man way not in a he/him lesbian way#''he's LGBTQA+'' what. all at once?#yes.#i have mastered them all i have collected all the genders and all the sexualities and ive never been ''wrong''#it just keeps switching. which is fine. well im a girl now. in a detransitioning man way. who is insanely attracted to men#but you will have to tear this lesbian label out of my cold dead hands#''you can't call urself lesbian if u have sex w men'' well first of all fuck you and second of all i am celibate so you dont need to worry#''what the hell are you talking about'' nothing. now look how hot i am#im just joking around i hope that's fine w y'all
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I love finding really niche, super rare crackships with an immediatley interesting sounding premise bc my first thought is always "oh is this @ blackkatmagic ?"
Like. Multiple fandoms too. And then I'm always either mildly surprised when it's not or do a really smug little dance when I guessed right and it is
#idk if its appropriate to actually tag them fr in this so I wont (theyve said before they dont like being poked at by sticks with naruto)#im honestly talking ab their star wars stuff tho#i wont at them fr just in case bc I dont want to actually contribute to harassment#but FUCK the blackkat agenda is *so* real#im almost positive you guys have at least *seen* their stuff in the wild before even if u dont realize#birds rambles
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in all honesty, im feeling a bit burned out on totk, the more i think about it the more i dislike its story and lore, i dont know what to make of it it being so loved by everyone else makes me feel like theres something wrong about me :/ gonna try and take a step back from it all
#ganondoodles talks#i also feel kinda dumb#bc i feel like im both not reading as much into everything as smarter people can#but also am trying to look into it all too deep#like i know nintendy made the game with lots of love and care but i#i cant help but sometiems even feel outright insulted by some of the choices they made#like the continuity problems with botw#man i loved botw so much and i feel kinda stepped on for caring so much about it#is this whats it always like when a new thing for your hyperfixation releases?#its happened with multiple of my past interests...#if i wrote an more about it i just feel like im being hateful - which im not trying to be#i just feel like -fuck me for caring this much-#part of why i was hyped about totk was bc i thought theres gonna be lore and design stuff i can use for my fanworks#but honestly i feel like i dont want to use anything of it#i know usually when you feel like you are the only one feeling like that you are not#but still i feel like im the only one that thinks this game is so .... weirdly disconnected#...almost like spinoff dare i say#nothing fits together#..... i miss koga#everytime i met him i was filled with joy#:(
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Kai cenat is gonna play bloodborne im sorry but im gatekeeping
#nothing against the guy i appreciate his enthusiasm#yet this will draw some attention from the more... well! not so versed people#i dont know but frol all the souls games bloodborne feels like the one you gotta take more delicately#maybe its the lore or worldbuilding but honestly#i dont want to see new fans take us back to the gehrman discourse#neither with the doll or anything i hate when female characters get watered down to jack off material#and considering in bloodborne theres quite a lot of them that are wonderful ladies with their flaws im afraid they wont appreciate them#same with the males! especially if we are speaking of lets say laurence micolash etc all those guys#people sometimes refuse to put aside characters deeper lores in exchange of a shallow view#and honestlt even if NOT everyone will get into the lore it just feels like#if youre not gonna bother with the lore dont just go around talking smack ykwim#ughhhjhhhhhhhh#i just dont like the brainrot fans they got 3 jokes and none of them are funny#im fucking sick of sellen fj jokes they are repetitive#even worse when the fj jokes are under cosplayer vids like didnt we learn decorum#good lord sorry for the yap im a little pissed
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