#'in spite of everything i've done' like END ME

[raayllum]

even Callum and Rayla having their moments of trust in 6x05 ("That's crazy Rayla, look at it" "I know it in my heart, you have to trust me" and his nod/support) and even from previous seasons ("It means I trust her, unconditionally") versus Soren and Viren's relationship breakdown ultimately coming down to feeling Unsafe and the lying, and Soren mandating (for his own safety now even though Viren has changed) that "Everything you're saying to me is just some kind of lie! I'm not going to let you manipulate me again!"

[theereina]

Big Mama Pt. 10 | You're Supposed To Know

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC

Wordcount: +2K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, no smut (alluding to sexual situations), heavily dialogue-centered, angst, verbal argument

Synopsis: When an argument between Terry and Havana sends them into a spiral, love is the last thing on their minds. Terry’s inability to see the situation through Havana’s POV becomes the single catalyst for a bomb that's ready to self-destruct.

Now, Terry must come to terms with the fact that this may be the end, and it’s all his fault. In a moment of desperation, Terry returns home and seeks advice from his parents. His parents give him raw and unfiltered guidance that shakes Terry to his core.

“Will Terry’s indiscretions ruin everything he and ‘Vana have built, and is forgiveness even an option?”

Big Mama Pt. 1 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 2 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 3 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 4 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 5 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 6 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 7 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 8 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 9 => 🦋

*Masterlist: 🔥🔥🔥

“’Vana, don't you walk away from me!” Terry yelled behind me as I stormed out of the bedroom.

“No, fuck this! I'm going home! You’re acting like I'm the problem!” I yelled back. I continued to walk into the living room without slowing my pace.

I was on fire. My mind was going 100 miles a minute, and nothing was going to calm me down. I didn't want to talk anymore. Terry's lack of understanding could only be tolerated for so long. He was letting his pride get in the way.

“Come here!” Terry said, grabbing my arm.

“Let me fuckin' go! I'm not doin' this anymore. I'm sick of explainin’ myself!” I yelled as I snatched my arm from Terry.

“Aight, ‘Vana. Calm yo’ ass down. We've been at this all day, and I'm tired. What the hell are you still mad for?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

What was I still mad for? Terry couldn't be this dumb or naïve.

“What am I still mad for? What kinda dumbass question is that? You don't see what you did wrong?” I asked, stepping closer to him.

“Watch it! You gettin’ beside yourself, mama. Keep it civil,” Terry said, eyeing me. His chest rose and fell rapidly.

Anger was the only emotion present in the room as hues of red dominated our auras. Red was all we had the capacity to see at this point. Our eyes veiled in our pursuit of blood. Lacking empathy and compassion in every word we spewed out of spite. There were no white flags in our future.

We were no longer seeking a resolution, instead, we were now struggling to declare a winner. Who was right? Who was wrong? Who did this? Who did that?

Ears were no longer listening as we were too focused on responding. Quick, sharp tongues leave no room for gentleness. Battling it out like two wordsmiths who hate each other, finding value in inflicting pain with the same lips we used to express the deepest depths of love.

Unknowingly, we both wanted it to stop, but that meant someone had to lose. Unfortunately, I was stubborn, and so was he. Neither set of lips yielded long enough for a reprieve. This was nothing more than a senseless act of immaturity. Both of us were unaware of just how fierce and passionate the other could be when we felt unheard or misunderstood.

“Civil? Keep it civil?! You can't be that dumb, Terry? You don't see nothin' wrong with what you did… Better yet, what you didn't do?” I asked, poking him in the chest.

“Don't do that!” Terry said as he lightly grabbed my hand. “Just stop it, ‘Vana! Use your fuckin' words and talk!” he said, putting my hand by my side.

“Don't fuckin' touch me! You obviously don't care! I've talked all damn day. I've used my words. I've cried. I've… I've… I'm done!” I said, turning on my heels.

“What did I just say?! Stop walkin’ away and talk!” he yelled again.

My movements stopped. I was beyond exhausted. We had repeated the same conversation over and over. Each time getting an even worse result. This fight would not end tonight or maybe ever.

With a heavy heart, I decided for both of us.

At this moment, I would rather walk away than continue to fight. Even if I felt like I was right, we were too far gone. There was probably no coming back from this. Trust was gone. Communication was broken. Feelings were hurt. Lines were crossed. Too much was said, and too much was left uncertain. My heart was damaged. Maybe, I wasn't built for this.

“I'm not repeating myself again! If you think you're right, fine. Fuck it. I don't care anymore. There's nothing more for me to say when you're supposed to know…. Hell… How don't you know?” I said, opening the front door.

I walked out the door, half expecting Terry to stop me. When he didn't follow me, it only reinforced my decision.

After all of that, I was forfeiting this battle.

I conceded. He won.

“Son, tell me what happened?” Rochelle, Terry's mother asked earnestly. She leaned over and kissed Terry's head, hoping to comfort him.

One thing Ms. Rochelle didn't play about was her baby boy Terry. She had yet to meet Havana, so this was a bit of a problem, considering her baby had shown up teary-eyed and distraught over a girl she had never met.

“She found out about what happened between me and Taylor. I was gonna tell her at first, but then I didn't see the need to. It ended right there. It ain't like I kept communicatin’ with her,” Terry said, leaning back in his seat on the couch.

“What you mean by that? What happened wit’ you and Taylor? Mae Ann told me Taylor said she saw you a few days ago. Is that it, or is there more to this story?” Rochelle said, rubbing Terry's back.

“I mean… yes and no,” Terry shrugged.

“Son, spit it out,” she said, rolling her eyes. She could see straight through Terry. He was trying his hardest to repress his feelings, but Rochelle knew Terry was at war inside his head. What she didn't know was that Terry’s internal monologue was growing more chaotic by the second.

“I met up with Taylor after she texted me. She asked me to go with her to Eli’s grave. I mean, we were together when he died. So, I felt like maybe she just needed a friend. So I went—,” Terry said.

“Terrence Richmond! I'm starting to see why this woman was pissed off. You met up with your ex, and didn't think to tell her that? Even if nothing happened, that leaves way too much up for interpretation. Use your brain, baby!” Rochelle said, crossing her arms.

“Well, I didn't want her to get mad at me or get the wrong idea,” Terry said, sinking into the couch.

“And how did that work out, huh?” she said, leaning up to grab Terry's face and forcing him to look at her. “Look at me,” she continued.

“I just thought it would be best if she didn't know. I know ‘Vana. She woulda tried to kill Taylor. Hell, she'd probably woulda tried to kill me, too!” Terry exclaimed. Pausing to gather his thoughts, Terry tried to figure out the best way to tell his mother the rest of the story. “To be honest, Mama, that ain't even the worst part. Taylor kissed me, and… uh… tried to… uh… touch… y’know,” Terry said, nodding towards his groin.

“Unh unh! Terrence, did you at least stop the girl?” she asked loudly. The more her son talked the more she understood Havana’s sentiment. She would wring his father's neck if he didn't tell her about something like this.

“Yes, of course I did. We were in my truck which made it worse. I pushed her off and held her back as best I could, but I was driving. Plus, she kept tryin', so I dropped her off at Julie's. I promise, Mama. Nothing happened. I just honestly didn't know what to do after that,” Terry said, letting his face fall into his hands.

“Nothing happened, my ass! So, you mean to tell me that you let this girl kiss and touch all over you, then expected your girlfriend to be okay with it? Wait a damn minute… I thought you said you didn't tell her,” Rochelle said, knitting her eyebrows together.

“I didn't… She did,” Terry mumbled under his breath.

“Who did? Who is she? What are y—. Terrence! I know damn well you didn't let Talyor tell her first. Come on, honey. This ain't right, and you know it. You should've known this wasn't gonna end well,” she said, popping Terry upside his head.

“Rochelle!” Terry’s father, Franklin, yelled as he entered the room.

“Go ‘head. Tell your father about the mess you done got yourself into. Franky, you gotta hear this,” Rochelle said, shifting in her seat.

Franklin sat in his recliner, facing Terry. “Boy! Talk! Ain't no sense in hangin’ ya' head,” he said, leaning up to get Terry's attention.

Terry sat in silence for a moment. He started the story over, telling it from beginning to end. The more he talked, the more he realized how disappointed his parents looked and the worse he felt. It was becoming more evident to him that he fucked up. Havana had every right to be mad.

“Chelle, can you give us a minute? I think this might be one of those conversations, baby,” Franklin said, rising from the recliner.

“Alright. Please, talk some sense into this boy,” Rochelle said, standing.

Franklin approached Terry's mother kissing her on the cheek. Rochelle left the room and left the two men alone. Franklin knew that this was a conversation that needed a Father's touch. His mother could only understand to a certain extent.

“Son, listen. Before I even start speaking, do you even know what you did wrong?” he asked as he sat back in his recliner.

“Yes. I just… I just didn't think it was that serious. I never wanted to hurt ‘Vana. I love her too much. I thought I was protecting her,” Terry said, looking at his father.

Franklin stared at his son. The look on Terry's face was all too familiar. This was the face of a man who knew he messed up but didn't know if he could fix his mistake. He knew his son well enough to see that whoever this girl was she had Terry's heart— all of it.

“That’s a start. At least, you know you were wrong. Listen to me, son. When it comes to women…., or better yet, when it comes to love, omission is lyin’. It doesn't matter what your intentions were. You let another woman tell your woman something she didn't know about. What makes it worse is that Taylor ain't some random woman, she’s a woman you gotta past wit’. That’s gonna immediately throw some doubt in there no matter how much she trusts you. I can only imagine how Taylor spun that story. So, of course, her initial thoughts are gonna be all over the place. She’s gonna question why you weren't the one to tell her, and if nothing happened, why'd you hide it? You left too much unanswered, son. Then, you let another woman answer for you,” Franklin said. He could see the wheels turning in Terry’s head.

“I know, Dad. It’s just that I don't even think she wants to see me, let alone talk. ‘Vana was more than pissed. She looked hurt. I shoulda followed her. I shouldn't have let her leave. She was right there—,” Terry said, sniffling.

“Son, what I'm about to say is gonna hit you like a shot of whiskey with no chaser. Stop thinking like a man and think like a lover. Don't you dare call that woman tryin' to talk over no phone. Go find her, and let her know how you feel. Meet her wherever she's at, pour yo’ heart, hit yo’ knees. Do whateva you need to get yo’ woman. But before you go over there, you gotta come to terms with something. She don't have to listen, and she for damn sure don't have to forgive ya’. All you can do is let her know how you feel. Hell, show her how you feel. You want that girl bad enough; you won't give a damn about how you look in that moment. Look at me, Terrence! When you get done, her heart should be full, and yours should be empty. Do you understand me?!”

A/N: Remember, I'm open to critiques. I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by ME (theereina). Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

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[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin: Episode 1 Breakdown

(Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

Thank you Lauren LeFranc, Mike Marino, Colin Farrell and Matt Reeves, we owe you the world for this, good God. It's finally here everyone and I've decided I'm gonna give each episode it's own post/breakdown of thoughts, because hahaha holy shit you guys this is beyond what I even dreamed of, and we're gonna be covering this for a while I think. I've worked out enough madness about this out of my system by talking with friends and I can't seem to be able to work on anything else till I get this done, so let's do it.

Bottom line: This isn't even just a must-watch if you like the Penguin or if you like The Batman, this is something I'd recommend to just about anyone in a heartbeat, something I can point to when people ask "why do you like The Penguin so much" and, instead of the elaborate nerd ramble that usually turns them off, I can just tell them to watch this. A friend of mine (who already loves Batman and digs the Penguin quite a bit) even told me as much, that he's starting to get why I love the character so much, and truly, is there a better feeling than this? Well, there is, and it's watching the show. Let's dig into this first episode:

Right upfront I'm gonna say that this doesn't really seem to be the Sopranos rip-off that people have been calling it before release, although there are definitely Sopranos comparisons to make here. I've spent the past months finally watching The Sopranos in order to get the comparison and definitely want to talk about those comparisons after I finish it (and this show ends). This thing aims to stand on it's own legs as a crime show and it's smashing out of the gate with an extremely promising first episode.

So this just casually opens with the reveal that all along, there was a second rich Gotham the whole time that was completely unaffected by everything we saw in the movie, already throwing a great twist on the events of that movie, and further reinforcing how fucking full of shit The Riddler was. All we saw Batman and the others deal with in the movie was just affecting the poorer parts of the city. All Eddie did was drown rats, and make life worse for the people already in the bottom, while never even getting close to targeting the systemic rot that ruined his life. He retains ideological worshippers in subways obsessed with the corruption of the city without doing anything to actually improve it, and because of him, the streets of Gotham are waterlogged shitholes while the rich Falcone suburbs are doing just fine, peachy even.

I said a while back that, in spite of having about 6 scenes/10 minutes of Penguin runtime, The Batman managed to squeeze impeccably controlled Penguin Trademark Scenes, and this show opens with the last one they didn't get to then: Penguin killing someone for making fun of him. In the movie, he tries doing that with Falcone and is beaten to the punch, so here he gets to actually do it to disastrous consequences.

Fucking adore that the inciting incident of the show is based on the fallout of Oswald killing someone for making fun of him. He pours his heart about the dream he lives his life for, his new boss makes fun of him for being an embarassment to their profession and then he does the most typical Penguin thing by killing him for it and laughing afterwards. And then he realizes how badly he fucked up, and then we get a fucking perfect titledrop with his musical theme, the exact moment we finish The Batman and enter The Penguin.

God it is so fucking cool how the make-up/lighting, the scar across his face, makes it look like he's got a genuine beak from certain angles, how they're able to achieve that effect without giving him a more literal beak for a nose. Everytime they talk about the character, Reeves and Farrell always emphasize how integral the make-up was to them figuring out what to do with Oz, how little they knew what to make of his six scenes until Marino created their monster and suddenly everything fell into place. Mike Marino fully deserves co-credit for the creation of Oz.

Pretty amusing that Victor, as designed to be Penguin's Robin, has exactly the same origin as Jason Todd, a poor street kid trying to steal the hubcaps off the Penguinmobile (I'm sure this bodes very well for his odds at survival), as is the way in which Oz goes on about his recruitment. He press-gangs this kid at gunpoint to help him bury a body arguing with himself and eventually the kid why shouldn't he just kill him to be safe, while trying to impress the kid with his car and air freshener and later that bullshit about "What, you think I hire any schmuck off the street?". From the tile drop onwards, he's doing everything on the fly while also spinning long-term plans set in motion as soon as he's on screen, he's taking this kid in out of sympathy and because he enjoys a power dynamic over someone weaker than him and because he very much needs someone to help him get stuff done. I'm extremely interested in exploring Penguin having a mentorship dynamic and I'm beyond curious as to what happens with Victor from this point onwards, but that poor kid is in for a terrible fucking time.

Found it very funny how much he half-asses the murder threat to Victor. Like it's his first time actually doing it and he's trying to be serious, but not too scary because he's already seeing himself in the poor kid with a stutter and wants the kid to think he's also a cool guy like he wants everyone to think he's a cool guy. I also think having Victor as the POV helps to sell moments like these, because it's still terrifying to him. Even as we follow their stories, these power players of Gotham are still big scary monsters to people caught in the dregs and Victor helps to reinforce that.

I enjoy Oz being friends with sex workers and drag queens off the street as much as I enjoy Oz being depicted as the kind of guy who deludes himself into thinking the prostitute he's with actually likes him, Lauren and Farrell launched into a bit about in on the podcast and I'm curious to see what's going on with him and Eve here.

Lots of perfect funny little character moments across the whole thing. Oz insulted by the idea of taking extra pickles off a poor kid's dirty mouth, but with zero hesitation whatsoever for picking jewelry off his boss' corpse. Dude is governed by principles even as he actively has to break them to survive.

"Technically it's plum." "He is the - or was the - new kingpin", "He's got nurse-like qualities." The show is not overtly trying to get you to find Penguin likeable as much as it wants you to find him engaging - making you think he's likeable is Colin Farrell's job and he's masterful at it, definitely a lot more matured within the character compared to the movie.

If there's anything in particular I'm thankful for regarding Gotham (well okay Gotham led directly to Telltale Penguin which was the basis for this one, so really I do have a lot more to be thankful with Gotham), it's the decision to give him a legit waddle via the broken foot, but the way they incorporate it here with the club foot does so much for him, so much as a modern day reinvention of The Penguin. Adds so much to why he's never been a serious candidate for mob leadership, why he kinda had to spend all his time in the Lounge, why he actually needs someone to help him run affairs, why he has such a gaping ego wound and is so murderously angry at people making fun of him / calling him a goddamn penguin, adds so much validation and so much darkness and nuance to Oswald's overwhelming anger and bitterness over how the world treats him (and so much power should he opt to reclaim it, in turn). It's the kind of thing that frankly feels like it should have always been part of the character, like what all the previous versions were itching closer to or trying to get at. Of course this is a guy gets called a penguin and he hates it badly enough to murder people over it, of course.

This gets to really highlight how differently Oz acts depending on who he's with. Traditionally, one of my favorite things about The Penguin, and one of the things that puts him above the other villains, is that, due to his position, he has to interact with a lot more people than the other Bat-villains. He has to manage a lot more relationships and dynamics, he has to play peacekeeper and puppetmaster. he's the only one in the United Underworld who's regularly interacting with and recruiting other villains to do business with. He's the guy who you pin stuff on like the Gangland Guardians, Team Penguin, doing betting pools with the Rogues taking cover in his Lounge while Joker War is happening, having to rig games to keep good standing with Maxie Zeus and Frenchy Blake in Batman Audio Adventures, and so on. So I greatly enjoy this beat here of him talking about how makes himself smaller before the Falcones, and that moment of him adjusting his outfit and practicing expressions in the mirror before meeting with them. How he contorts himself is present in all of his relationships, and retroactively adds to the way he carries himself in The Batman.

It seems that Oz is functionally regarded as the Paulie Walnuts of the Falcones: useful muscle, loyal for the most part and amusing to keep around, but largely an unstable self-serving dumb asskisser kept where he belongs, a liability if not kept on a short leash. I think the show does a good job of highlighting all the reasons why Oz has never been seriously regarded as a viable option for a boss, even putting aside his disability. He is a fundamentally embarassing person for these serious respectable criminals to be around and of course, the joke is ultimately on them..

Of course, there is only two people in the show who actually know what he's capable of, Francis Cobb and Sofia Falcone, said to be the central relationships defining the show moving forward. Both of them also a defining commonality with Oswald, being people who are looked down on and dehumanized, and characters who are underestimated until it's time to bear their fangs.

Extremely invested in where they're going with Sofia Falcone, Cristine Milioti's been killing it, and will in fact not stop killing it. What a perfect villain for Penguin they've set up with her, someone who has his Kryptonite: she does not underestimate him. Although we know in advance that Oz is going to live and be in the next movie, the question here isn't even so much who's going to win the gang war, and rather how much damage these two freaks will do to the city until Batman gets back. In many ways, Sofia represents the shape of things to come just as much as he does.

She is this embodiment of both the pristine unfathomable wealth and privilege and power that he both detests and strives for, as well as this brutal new breed of madness and violence attacking the streets that he has to survive against and make deals with (and is himself very much a part of, however he denies it). She is Falcone's legacy in every way that matters, both a Kingpin of Gotham whose existence creates the oppressive conditions under which a Batman or a Riddler are created, as well as the Arkham Rogue, the larger-than-life sadist with a tragic origin and a signature torture-murder method and an embarassing name for the papers.

Even the fact that she is The Hangman, and Carmine was defined around his penchant for brutally strangling women - regardless of whether or not she did the crimes that got her in Arkham, she's become this larger-than-life themed expression of a violent obsession in a way that sets her up as every bit the Batman villain that The Penguin is. The two champions of the two Gothams, duking it out in this new world The Batman and The Riddler made, The Penguin vs The Hangman.

I am so glad Lauren LeFranc made the call for binning Alberto in the first five minutes so the rest of the show can focus on Sofia and make a real character out of her in a way nobody's ever really done before, every step of the way so far LeFranc has been perfectly on the ball about where to take these characters and their conflict. And speaking of those,

I feel very confident in saying that this is the first time anyone's ever really had something worth doing with Oswald's mother as a character in her own right and not just a source of anguish for Penguin (Gotham was almost onto something with Gertrude, but not nearly enough). When it comes to Penguin origin stories, my favorite's always been the Pre-Crisis one, where he's poor and bullied but happy with his mom and birds until she dies and the government seizes everything he has, which doesn't necessarily involve her much. But here? Francine Cobb is a real character in what little time we get to know her, and what a character she is. We quickly understand the role she's playing in Oz's life, not just as his mom and person he loves and strives to protect, but the person who's sculpting him into the man he's going to become.

She is vulnerable and she does need meds and she's not quite all there, and Penguin's need to care for her is visible in other actions of his. But then they turn it around by showing how strong and demanding she is, how she is fiercely ambitious and pushing him to be something he would otherwise not be, how much she loves him and sees greatness in him. She knows he's a people pleaser, she knows how to push his buttons, and she wants him to be more, so of course he's going to be more, because he lives to please his mom.

Related to this is this absolute bullseye of a summation of The Penguin, that Lauren LeFranc delivered in the podcast: "Perhaps his greatest fear is that love is transactional. And that yet, everything he does, every decision he makes, is as if that's true. As if "love is transactional" is a truth he abides by". Oswald's conception of power is being loved and revered like Rex Calabrese, and the love he wants most in all the world is the one from his mother. So in turn this, and all extensions of it, drive him to greater and darker lengths.

He doesn't have that ambition quite down yet, it's his mom that does. She who's pushing him to take over the city and not just be a guy scraping by for survival. He's smart and ambitious and extremely good at slipping out of trouble, but she's pushing him to be the guy who will be taking the city by the horns because that's what he has to be for their sake. Her legacy to her son is nurturing him having that dog in him that will make him the supervillain who picks fights with Vengeance. She is the force that's turning Oswald into The Goddamn Penguin and I can't wait to see how she's developed.

Of course he reprimands Victor in that scene for lacking ambition, who do you think he gets it from?

Really love what they've done with Sal Maroni in here so far. I like adaptations that take these throwaway Batman backstory gangsters and make something out of them, in this case, with Clancy Brown lending his power and voice and reputation as The Grand Boss of Villainy to play the last Respectable Gangster of Gotham, this intimidating principled old tiger who's inversely proportional to how much of a petty and scummy piece of shit Carmine Falcone was. Extremely a guy I'd want to see playing a hand in the creation of Two-Face. Just as crucial is the fact that he is the one who gets the most effortlessly outplayed by Oz here, because this is The Penguin Show: no room for traditional or respectable gangsters anymore, their purpose is to be crapped all over by our wacko birdman.

There's a lot about this that re-contextualizes his behavior in The Batman and the one I'm gonna point out is: even though he can't be sure his plan didn't completely go to shit, he is still keeping his wits and not being terribly scared about being beaten up and tortured and staring down the scariest Falcone with a gun shoved in his throat. But he craps his pants at the sight of the Batmobile. He gets pain, he gets indignity, but he doesn't get Vengeance, what kind of sick freak would come up with the stuff that guy does. A gun in his mouth and Falcone torture is just Tuesday, but a car that wants to eat his soul is some psycho shit he's just not ready to deal with.

It is the delicious tasty fucking irony that Oswald thinks Vengeance is this weird freak who doesn't play or bend to any rules and is here to fuck up everything, just like the madman who flooded the city, and thinks of himself in turn as a justifiable guy standing for the respectable old-fashioned empathetic way of doing things, instead of the exact same thing that Riddler and Batman are. Only Sofia gets what he really is, the same thing as her, and that's why she is the arch-enemy / the biggest thing he's gotta defeat in life for now.

God, how fucking PERFECT it is that he gets caught and tortured because he, after stabbing out a man's eye and causing him to get run over by a schoolbus, stops to wave at the kids in that schoolbus while covered in blood. Just the Rex Calabrese of it all, the self-image, this guy who's both a mean nasty son of a bitch and also a real bleeding heart softie and in ways that ruin his life and allow him to slip and wriggle his way out of shit he has no right to, as demonstrated by the finale.

Thinking about Sofia chastizing Oz saying he thinks she is a toy to play with, while rattling off the ways in which she owns him and everything he has, all the ridiculous little accessories her daddy let him play him, and he in turn is a ridiculous little accessory for the family she is twisting until it breaks. Perfect fucking villain for him. Can't wait to see how badly these two are gonna burn Gotham.

I knew deep in my heart that all I wanted out of a Penguin show, the thing that I simply needed to have in it, was Penguin pulling a heist set-up in advance, and it fucking delivered. He doesn't even complain at Victor for being late, because if anything, getting captured and tortured while the car crashed was even better for him. No, he complains at Victor for not being sufficiently gruesome with the body. See, unlike other cowardly anti-hero reinventions of Bat-villains, the show never wants you to forget that Oz is a weird freak and a disgusting piece of shit, even if he is a very likeable and even aspirational one. Only by the most random stroke of fate it wasn't Victor that he fed to the wolves at that moment, that he sees himself in the kid isn't exactly ensuring that he's gonna make out of this in one piece.

Mr. Vengeance gets Nirvana, and Mr. Boniface gets Dolly Parton, perfect credits.

In conclusion: Out of everything they could have done following the thunderous success of The Batman and it's ensuing influence over the DCU, out of all the offers Reeves must have gotten to helm their new universe after delivering a megahit reinvention of their breadwinner blockbuster character, Matt Reeves went "Nah, I listened to my crew, and what we really want to do is 8 hours of television about the waddling freak who's in my movie for 10 minutes", and he and his crew deserve the world for that. I dreamed as a kid of getting to make a big Penguin story or show, a wild impossible idea that would never actually happen, and now it's here and it's better than anything I'd ever imagined.

I'm fit to burst with joy and riding a high of no longer having to hunt for scraps and washing away decades of put-downs for the character and enjoying a Penguin renaissance like one I never imagined happening. I am extremely not an unbiased reviewer here, this show rules and I've waited for it since I was a kid and it's here, drink it the fuck in cause it's only the beginning.

[theoncomingchaos]

Who loves Rook: Spite or Lucanis

I've been seeing a lot of discourse about this, and I just want to add my thoughts.

I might be totally wrong about this, but here we go. When Spite was put into Lucanis, he was still Determination. The fact that he changed throughout the torture, forced insertion, and imprisonment suggests to me that they have been put into a speedrun of a similar situation to Anders and Justice/Vengeance where they have started to meld. (As Anders put it, you wouldn't know where one begins and the other ends). Just like Anders and Vengeance, Lucanis and Spite can have separate consciousnesses and even disagree about things, but their core values have started to influence one another and become a part of one another- heightening certain aspects.

I think this melding is why we see some dialogues where Rook tells Lucanis that he sounds like Spite and similarly it's also the reason for the shared attraction- which I fully believe is coming originally from Lucanis.

I'll be honest my first time through I romanced Lucanis and was very disappointed. I didn't even see him and Neve ever flirt (she only ever encouraged us!) But still, it seemed to go from 0 to 60 with him. Now, I am on my second playthrough and I only just met him, but I am starting to see some really subtle looks and dialogues that suggest that Lucanis wasn't lying later when he said he was attracted to Rook from the beginning, but was afraid to really pursue anything or even acknowledge the possibility of being with them. With his fear of trusting people, ptsd from the prison, failed history in romance, and his new situation with Spite that he still hadn't worked out yet, he never thought anything would or could ever come of his feelings. We know Lucanis loves romance stories and likely longs for one of his own, but in such a situation it must have seemed truly impossible and terrifying to let someone else in. Especially someone you really care for and are starting to trust. So, he pushed it all down. Rook flirts? Maybe a small smile, but then quickly lock it all up with everything else he can't handle. Focus on work. Don't think about Spite, or Rook, or anything difficult.

However, if the melding has already happened as I suspect, then the feelings Spite is expressing are shared with (and likely sourced from) Lucanis, he's just better at expressing it directly- which makes sense for a spirit that was once Determination. When you first talk to Lucanis after the rescue, the thing Spite says about Rook changes accordingly to your tone, but to me the responses still sound like they come from Lucanis and are then echoed in Spite: "He doesn't want to hurt us." Even the "He's more fun than you" is something Lucanis seems to think about himself as he is fully aware that much of his life has not been his own and believes "all he knows is death."

Leading back to the main point, Lucanis's trust and interest in Rook would be heightened by Spite the way Anders' anger towards the templars was heightened. Even though they are finally free from the prison, their is a sense of constant suffering from still feeling trapped by fear, regret, and pain- Spite feels that suffering too. The elements of determination are still within him the same way justice is another side to vengeance. Both spite and vengeance are the results of failing to achieve their goals of Justice and Determination. Spite sees Rook as a way to free them from pain and restraint, a glowing and beautiful key to the prison door, and he is determined to do what needs to be done to solve the problem. That's why he doesn't hesitate. He has no fear. He wants to talk to Rook. He wants Rook to come in and free them.

After Rook has freed them, they become a source of comfort and safety, once they encourage Lucanis and Spite to find a way to cohabit comfortably, the two continue to meld, and the need to protect Rook, to love Rook, to keep them, is very deeply shared. Now, IF Spite was somehow removed or even somehow restored (Both of which I think are impossible) that would likely change. Determination outside of Lucanis would likely become more like Compassion. He would likely forget the horrors he experienced to return to his original purpose.

So, that leaves some final questions, particularly one Hawke helpfully asked Anders- Is Spite an unwilling party in the threesome?

That's up to everyone's own morality. While both Spite and Lucanis didn't have a choice to become like this, it is the situation they are in and the way they have to find a way to accept and live with because there really doesn't seem to be any real way to change it. Through their time together, Lucanis and Spite have influenced each other and grown into something new. Part of that is Spite also loving Rook. In that way, for those who are feeling (rightfully) underwhelmed by Lucanis's romance, Spite can almost be seen as a symbolic expression of Lucanis's love.

All that being said, I think there were some small things they could have done to make the romance more satisfying over all...but I'll save that for another post.

[lessi-lover]

the not so very well hidden II b.mead x v.miedema

summary: beth seeks help on how to manage with a newborn baby ★ the not so very well hidden II b.mead x v.mediema

beth and viv hadn't exactly tried to hide you away from anyone. it was just how it seemed to work out in the scheme of it all. with the amount of commitment it took to get through not one but two acl injuries, announcing you was the last thing on their minds. and so, you stayed in shadows away from the media.

beth didn't exactly know how comfortable she felt sharing her and viv's journey of adopting you a couple months past the first round of surgeries, and she definitely wasn't sure of the reactions that would spur if they did tell end up telling anyone.

on the other hand, viv wasn't at all bothered about telling people that they had decided to adopt a baby girl. she honestly enjoyed watching the attention you relished in by her friends and family, although she didn't think she'd get used to them showing up unannounced.

they had kept it tame, only introducing you to a couple of family members, then their cousins and aunts and uncles, and then finally a few close friends. it had all gone perfectly, you and your inherent bubbly nature entertained all of their friends to no end and nobody could stir away from your toothy grin and loud giggles.

it was only when photos of beth and viv walking around with a toddler surfaced on twitter that beth realised how much you would actually be exposed if they were to reveal you to the world.

she didn't like the thought of that.

she wanted to keep your smiley face and bright eyes away from the cruelness of social media. she wanted your first steps and your first words to be a private moment that would just be for her and viv, so they kept you a secret.

"what's on your mind beth?" steph, one of beth's closest friends asked. the two of them had been sitting on the porch, the both of them sipping their tea in silence as they watched the last of the sunset.

the australian had been worried about her friend for a few weeks now, the usually cheerful blonde always the one to make everyone else smile, but lately she just seemed so distracted and out of it from what steph knew of her best friend.

beth sighed, setting her cup down on the wooden table. "it's about y/n." she began, her voice warm even as she spoke so worriedly. "i've been thinking a lot about whether or not we should tell everyone about her."

steph nodded, understanding immediately what her friend was talking about, she had seen a few posts about the 'mystery baby' online but chose not to mention it in spite of comforting beth. "you and viv have done a great job keeping everything private. but why the sudden concern?"

"photos of us with y/n are all over twitter," beth admitted. "it just made me realise just how much exposure to the public she would get if we went public with the whole adoption. i don't want to expose my baby to the harshness of social media."

"viv's not as worried about it," beth continued, trying her best to explain how she felt in hopes her friend could offer the advice she usually would. "she enjoys seeing buttercup interact with our friends and family. but for me, it's different."

steph was on the edge of her seat, her hand moving to beth's knee as she saw a few stray tears escape beth's eyes, the tears dampening her top as she tried to muffle her cries.

"mum never got to meet her, and that still hurts. by the time i realised how sick she really was, the adoption was out of the question and i just wanted to be with my mum."

steph squeezed beth's hand, her expression softening from the one she sported just ten minutes ago, never having seen the fellow blonde so distraught and upset. "i can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you, beth. your mum would have loved y/n."

beth nodded with her lip between her teeth, tears welling up in her bright eyes. "i know she would have. she always wanted to see me happy and having a family of my own. it just feels like sharing buttercup with the world is letting go of something so personal, something my mum never got to be a part of no matter how hard she tried to stay with us."

steph took a deep breath, choosing her next few words carefully, she didn't want to mess anything up given how hard it must have been for beth to share this with her. "you know, sharing buttercup doesn’t mean losing those moments you have as a family. you and viv can still have those special memories, you can control what you want to share and what you keep just for yourselves."

beth nodded, appreciating steph's support even when she had just thrown this into her hands with no warning. "viv and i didn't exactly hide buttercup. it just sort of happened with how everything ended up coming together. two acl injuries and the adoption process.. it was overwhelming to say the least."

"you've both been through a lot," steph acknowledged beth's words, nodding along so the blonde knew she was listening. "how did the the introduction to your family go?"

"it was perfect. little one charmed everyone who came. they couldn't get enough of her actually," beth smiled fondly at the memory. we started with close family and then we moved on to our other friends and of course you."

"see, she is already loved by so many," steph pointed out, remembering how you giggled when you first saw her and reached your small hands out to grab her hand to pull her even closer than the aussie had already been. "maybe it's time to let the rest of the world know. on your terms, of course."

beth sighed, deep in thought. "i just want to keep the special things private. those moments are for us to enjoy."

"and they will be," steph assured the blonde. "no matter what, those moments will always belong to you and viv. nobody can make them any less special than they are to you. you can control how much you share with the world."

beth looked at steph, her eyes filled with gratitude. "thanks, steph. i needed to hear that."

"anytime, beth. whatever you decide, i'm here for you," steph said, giving her friend a reassuring smile.

[callme-holly]

Idk if you’ve done this but Dallas Winston x Pastors Daughter ? 👀👀

𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 [𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫]

a/n: I LOVED THIS OMG PLEASE MORE REQUESTS LIKE THIS. NO JOKE THIS IS MY NEW FAV FIC

Nobody has ever expected Dallas to end up with a girl like you, not at all. You were everything he wasn’t: you were sweet, gentle, and kind. You deserved someone more than a hoodlum from a bad background… And yet you never push him away, not even when he comes knocking at your window long after the sun has set, just like tonight.

He looks so incredibly out of place on your bed, his dirtied jeans and dark shirt a stark contrast to your soft, silken sheets. His blonde hair fans out across the pillow as he stretches back, and he looks almost angelic under the dim, honey-coloured glow of your lamp, which is impossible as Dallas Winston is anything but. 

He watches you carefully from across the room as you stand at your vanity, brushing out your curls as they fall around your face in a way that makes you look almost etheral. "Are you going to come join me, or what?" He grumbles, his gaze travelling down the length of your body, admiring the way your night gown  clings to your curves, the pure white of the fabric contrasting sweetly with everything else about you, still keeping that modest image about you.

“Just a moment,” you mutter, your eyes meeting his in the mirror, and he finds himself transfixed, unable to tear his eyes away. You look perfect, like something written by the angels and sent straight down from heaven,  all soft pink lips and   smooth skin. 

"There." You finally say once you've finished brushing out your hair, letting it fall down your back as you turn to walk towards him. He grins, shifting to make room for you, his arm winding around your waist as you settle on his chest, your hand smoothing over the side of his face.

"You know, you look fine. You don't have to spend so long putting yourself together."  His voice is rough and low in the quiet of the room, and he smells faintly of smoke and leather. You feel your heart flutter in your chest, like thousands of butterflies have been released, set free, and are now  flying in every direction.

"I've got church in the morning. I need to look  my best." Your fingers trail up the column of his neck, your eyes following the movement, and Dallas huffs a laugh, catching your wrist.

"Says who?"

"Says my father." You give him a knowing look, effectively cutting him off as he rolls his eyes, letting his head flop back once more.

"Oh please. If he knew true beauty, he'd let you go as you are now."  A smirk plays at his mouth, and his hands wander up your sides slowly before settling on your hips. He pulls you closer, your chest pressed flush against his, and your breath catches as his fingers trace the delicate shape of your hipbones. 

"Where's this coming from?" You ask suddenly, a lilt of teasing  in your voice. "What's gotten into you? You're never this sweet."

Dallas hums, pressing his lips to the side of your jaw, lingering for a moment as he speaks. "Just trying to charm my way into your perfect little household."  You laugh in spite of yourself, swatting his hand away before it continues exploring your body.

"You really can't help yourself, can you?"  

He shrugs, moving to kiss your neck. "Nope."  When he lifts his head again, Dallas gives you a smile, the corners of his lips quirking upwards. "Can I stay here tonight, or do you need to be at church early tomorrow?"  

You smile softly in return, your fingers combing through his hair absently. "You can stay. But you better be gone before my father wakes up. He'll go mad if he sees you." 

He nods, but his attention is elsewhere, drifting to the Bible on your bedside table. He reaches over and grabs it, mindful not to damage it, and you watch him with raised brows. 

"What're you doing?"

He doesn't answer you, merely opening to a random page and running his finger slowly along the words, something akin to wonder taking over his features. You've never seen him handle something with such care, and the last thing you'd ever expected was for him to show so much interest in your religion.

"You should come with us some time, you know..." you speak gently, not wanting to force anything onto him, knowing your attempts at inviting him to church are futile, and sure enough, he shakes his head, closing the book again and setting it back on your nightstand.

"Nah. Not my scene, angel." His tone is casual, and he lounges back once more, pulling you along with him. His hand trails up along your side,  tracing small circles on your skin, and you shudder beneath his touch. 

"It'd do you good, I think." You try,  giving him a hopeful look. He smiles, looking at you with that same expression he always wears whenever you're trying to convince him to join you , and you instantly know this conversation isn't going anywhere. 

He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips, lingering for a few seconds before pulling away. "Not my style."  His tone is firm, and you nod reluctantly, knowing he's right. Dallas Winston does not belong in a church. 

You rest your head on his chest, letting out a soft sigh and tracing little patterns into the fabric of his shirt. Your eyes grow heavy, content settling over you like a wave lapping at the shore, the steady rise and fall of his chest lulling you into a state of pure bliss and ease.

"I could get used to this," you mumble, and Dallas hums in response, a sound of agreement that fills you with a small sense of hope.

Your family would never agree with  this arrangement: you and him, the pastor's daughter and a criminal. But even if  they didn't approve, he knew, deep down, you wouldn't ever give up on him. Because your angel eyes saw the good in many devils... 

[sy-on-boy]

Some SxF Ch 108 thoughts! (a bit scattered)

(In response to Damian making fun of Anya holding hands with Yor) Anya really is a kind and empathetic character— earlier in the story she probably would be offended and maybe even hurt (esp after Ewen's comment that Yor's not her real mom), but now she feels comfortable enough to take off her mask and reassure Damian about something she fears (feeling unloved by parents). And this is coming after Anya read Melinda's mind and she literally thought "how I wish Damian would just go away!" (among other contradictory things).

Anya doesn't snark at Damian like she might usually do. The sparks show us she's reading his mind, and it's probably something like "my mom doesn't love me". I love the detail of Anya taking off her mask. To me, it feels like a direct parallel to the school dance when she told him she can read minds. Anya is hiding from everyone, but she lets it slip for Damian. Despite everything, she trusts him with her deepest secret. She puts it back on after the moment of vulnerability.

Damian is surprised and flustered that Anya knew what he was thinking. And Anya, instead of deflecting, tells him "believe me, I know." Damian clearly thinks of mind reading as a joke, which should be Anya's way out if she wants to keep it a secret, but it doesn't seem like she wants to hide it from Damian. Or she thinks it's more important to tell him than to keep her powers a secret.

"Take off that stupid mask already!" could mean for "just tell me the truth!" but Anya literally did. She took off the mask to tell Damian what she perceives as the truth (that Melinda loves him). She told him the truth before— she can read minds. And having Yor back Anya up makes Anya seem more "legit".

"Sy-on mom is being bullied too?" is such an innocent way for Anya to describe the psychological distress Melinda is in due to Donovan. She's concerned about Damian's family not getting along, because her own family is precious to her. And while (in the English translation) she uses the same term "bully" to describe what Damian does to her, Anya's facial expression tells us she knows it's a different and more severe ("grown up") form. Her and Damian are bickering kids, but Melinda is an adult dealing with adult stuff and is under great distress due to another adult. You can see it in her eyes. She's shaken by what she learns from reading Melinda's mind.

As for Anya's "This feeling... I think I've felt it before", I'm not sure what she's referring to, but it could be Melinda picking up Damian post bus hijacking, since she similarly cares for Damian in spite of Donovan. Melinda is strange to Anya, but at least she seems consistent in that she wants to care for Damian even though she can't really express it. So Anya decides to express it to Damian on Melinda's behalf.

Also, mention of telepathy. Either a set up for the Desmond family being involved in the experimentation done on Anya, or a red herring. I noticed Melinda's hand was on her ear when she mentioned telepathy, which reminds me of Melinda's earrings (note: jewellery/hair accessories are important in SxF— Loid and Fiona both wear WISE merch, Becky's hair clip is a bomb in reference to her family's business). I've never noticed if she wears a wedding ring, but this chapter she seems to only wear rings on the middle finger.

This chapter was delicious in a lot of ways. The melancholy felt by Loid and Anya, Melinda's whole deal, the ending gives us a lot of fun implications, tarot cards, possible foreshadowing with the telepathy/occult, ominous Grim Reaper/Yor parallels, follow up on "Anya tells Damian she can read minds", etc. I'm surprised by how packed this chapter is yet it leaves questions without answers that we likely won't know ("What feeling did Anya feel before?" "What did Damian secretly think?").

The gentleness of the Forger family stood out to me. Yor was very kind to Melinda and persuaded her to seek help. Anya was kind to Damian despite him insulting her. And while Loid has less screentime, the flashback to his childhood makes me think he genuinely had a fun time hanging out with the caretakers (while trying to get intel because he never stops working). He also stayed because Anya wanted to (and they got Anya that strange mask). Maybe it's intentional in a chapter about Melinda— as the two major families, the Forgers and Desmonds are heavily contrasted. Melinda seems genuinely fond of Yor, and it's due to Yor's own personality/sincere kindness/efforts that she unintentionally gave Loid one of his biggest opportunities (at least, we would assume so). Yor is the only one out of the Forgers who's clueless to Operation Strix, so she isn't trying to manipulate Melinda. Maybe that's why Melinda finds her refreshing. She was also seemingly amused/happy when Anya said Damian bullies her but she still wants to be friends with him. We know a lot of Damian's peers suck up to him, but Anya doesn't. She's not exactly honest, but at least she admits Damian's faults instead of blindly following him.

[beomiracles]

𝓦𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒' 𝓦𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

hii ! in spite of my account currently being shadow banned I still wanted to make a little wrapped of the year that was. (I've seen a lot of creators on here do it, though I'm not sure who started it so if you know of anyone I can credit for this please let me know)!

#serene adds ✎.. where to even start >.< ? in February of 2024 I started writing/or more like dumping my thoughts onto a doc and then posting them lol. I never in a million years excepted to finish the year with nearly 1.7k followers and so so much support. This year has allowed me to express myself creatively and explore the world of literature in ways that has both challenged and helped me grow immensely and I'm forever thankful!

𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 None of this would've ever been possible without you guys ! Your continued love and support for this little blog is what keeps me going and interacting with you guys never fails to make me smile <3 I love to be equally excited over the things I write with you guys, and you've never done me wrong in any way. I don't know how to ever express my gratitude towards you enough, but I do truly, love each and all of you <3

..and now for the wrapped !

𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝟑 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

THE REDEMPTION OF CHOI YEONJUN At 2085 notes trocyj is without a doubt my most popular fic of the year! Posted all the way back in July yet it still gets recognition almost everyday, I'm beyond amazed. You guys liked the concept just as much as me and I'm so excited for its long awaited sequel to be released soon!

NOONA'S ROOM With 1044 notes Noona's Room proudly takes second place, and I'm so happy with this fic! Definitely wasn't one I expected to blow up like it did but I'm forever thankful nonetheless. Brother's best friend trope is a classic :3

THIN WALLS Now this one took me by surprise.. Posted in literally February of 2024, Thin Walls is my second oldest work, ever. The writing is beyond poor and the parts are short. However I can't deny that there's a certain charm to the grammatical errors and the awkward story telling. It shows my growth in a beautiful way I think.

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐎𝐅 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

A MOMMY'S BOY

I think it goes without saying that this fic is beyond my favourite. I talk about it too much for it to go unnoticed. AMB is one of my most emotionally deep works and I think that the storyline flows in a perfect way. The characters are fleshed out to my liking, the smut is divine and ties the plot perfectly. The ending is my favourite ending to ever have written, the way the title ties into the story has me on the floor, in all, I love A Mommy's Boy and will continue to boast it for as long as I live.

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒 One thing about me is that when a fic sticks with me, it sticks. I have read so so many beautiful works this year, but the three that stood out the most to me would be the following:

Divnity for the Damned by @koqabear The storytelling of this fic is so compelling, it draws you in like no else, immersing you completely in the plot. I love the dream aspect of the fic (without spoiling too much) but it's such a niche yet important detail to the entirety of the fic that I feel most writers would just skip over. The ending catches you so off guard yet it's so completely perfect and makes so much sense that you wonder how you couldn't have seen it coming yourself. Perfect fucking fic, cries.

.3:13 a.m. (m) by @agustdiv1ne Onto my long vampire agenda. I've consumed every pixel of vampire!txt that I could possibly get my hands on. This I read back in march, but it's the one that has stuck with me throughout this year and that's why I feel it deserves this mention. The writing, the longing and the yearning. The way he literally cannot hold himself back, I am going to die on the vampire beomgyu hill and I shall do so with pride. This fic had everything I'm looking for.

(sort of) fucking annoying neighbour by @hyewka This fic. I love the idea of cocky Yeonjun being put in his place. There's just something so oddly satisfying about the whole build up of this, the growing tension, Yeonjun's cockiness but also his blatant obliviousness is fucking perfect. Then again, anything by rana I will absolutely devour like I was on death row being served my last meal.

𝐆𝐎𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 This year has been on my mind a lot, huge things are to come my way, like graduation! And while I'm nervous as shit for most of them, I can't help but feel a sense of excitement too! This year is going to be my year, and I have so many aspirations for it !

I want to finish Criminal Conscience! The series has been on my mind a lot recently and it's something I've been meaning to get around to for the later part of last year as well, I'm hoping that now can finally be the time!

I want to experiment with different au's, explore the depth of my writing skills.

I want to write something big.

And most importantly I wish to be happy and continue to thrive on this blog <3

2024 was amazing thanks to you guys and though I've had a lot of hardships outside of Tumblr, being on here always made me feel better. I'm wishing for an even better 2025 for all of us ! Love, Serene.

[leithillustration]

I’ve not done an end of year round up before, but here goes! Thank you @monbons and @iamamythologicalcreature for the tags, and @aristocratic-otter for the encouragement. Seeing everyone’s roundups has been really wholesome and enlightening. 

I often don’t give my successes much space for celebration as they tend to get drowned out by the noise of all my mental health difficulties, so this is an exercise in acknowledging the good things from 2024, as well as allowing space for the things I’ve struggled with (while trying not to sound too jaded and cynical 😅). This is a long one so everything is under the cut.

Landmarks: A few significant things

My border collie Simm turned 10

My godson turned 1

I lived with one of my best friends @hattedhedgehogfor 3 months during a time that otherwise would have been rubbish, but he made the whole summer a fun adventure

Inspired by Harry, I made a hand sewn Georgian shirt with ridiculous billowy sleeves. I’ve yet to find an occasion to wear it, but I hold out hope for 2025.

I played DragonAge for the first time (Inquisition) and was not normal about it. The above banner is my Inquisitor Dadron (named for his dad energy and likeness to Ron Swanson)

I started sharing my creative writing on Ao3 for the first time

Took more control over self care and my mental health

Achievements Unlocked: Heath Stuff

I love that some 2024 reviews share personal experiences living with health problems. It’s really validating to see that. It's so easy to forget other people struggle too, they just might not want to share that online. So before I get to the creative things I've done in 2024… watch me over share my health stuff??

Finished seeing my EMDR therapist First time in 4 years I’ve been without any kind of therapy and it’s terrifying but making me work on myself in a new way. Not sure I’m done with EMDR forever, or talking therapy, but I spent a year with a therapist I didn’t vibe with and it sort of added more issues to the pile, so I’m glad I left them.

Dumped GenderGP They replaced a load of their services (including doctors) with AI. After 2 years of treatment under them, I felt so betrayed and worthless. Thankfully I’ve still got a supply of testosterone for now.

Had a minor breakdown in July Work, house stuff, gender things and mental health all got the better of me in July. Things were incredibly bleak for a while there. Surviving is hard sometimes, but I am still here so taking that as a win.

Switched to a new NHS gender care waitlist Was 3 years into a possible 6-7 year wait for a London clinic. Now I am in year 1 of a possible 2-3 year wait for Nottingham. No idea if moving was a good call or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Got on a private gender care wait list for a top surgery referral Yeah, UK trans private health care also has huge wait lists. No idea how long this one is, but I’ve been on it since August and haven’t heard anything yet

Got an ADHD diagnosis!! I am classic ADD, go figure. Had to go private for this too (who needs savings, right?) but I’m now in my 4th week of ADHD meds. It’s been A Time but it’s giving me hope (a tenuous, vulnerable thing) that maybe things won’t always be this hard.

Self Employment: Life as an illustrator in 2024

Always a mixed bag, made all the more challenging by the above health stuff, AI, and the general state of the economy, but in spite of this I have done the following:

Sold work at 6 events Norwich Queer Fest, Harrogate Airecon, UK Games Expo, Norwich Pride, Birmingham MCM, Norwich QueerFestmas. I was filled with imposter syndrome for most of these events, and I’m always very fatigued after, but I know it is good to push myself out of my comfort zone sometimes and I do enjoy meeting likeminded people and seeing people engage with my work. I had some wonderful interactions and I’m so grateful to everyone who came to say hi.

Did 2 actual IRL paintings I hadn’t painted with acrylics at all since around 2020 when I got an iPad. This year I decided to check I can still paint by hand and turns out I’m still ok at it.

Exhibited at a local gallery I also hadn’t exhibited in galleries since around 2018, so taking part in a group exhibition with my new paintings felt like a fun (and scary) opportunity this year.

Storyboarded ‘Unravelled’ graphic novella Unravelled is a horror story about knitting, written by LP Mills. Storyboarding this was a challenge since it required a level of focus I struggle to maintain, but I’m so pleased I was able to do it.  Sadly the kickstarter (that would have paid myself and Mills to fully illustrate and print it) wasn’t successful this year, but we’re holding out hope for future funding.

Illustrated ‘Football Crumpets’ play Football Crumpets is a queer audio comedy written by Lucie Isle. I made a series of character designs and spot illustrations for to advertise the Kickstarter campaign. This campaign was successful and the comedy is now in the process of being recorded by Lucie and her diverse cast of voice actors.

Experienced the worst client of my life I won’t go into detail as this broke me, I lost someone I thought was a friend, and I’ve struggled to build up confidence since. But discussing the experience with fellow creatives made me realise almost everyone has had a client from hell at one point or another. Lessons learned: Always write up a contract in advance and question anything you’re not sure about. Don’t compromise on your work boundaries for friends.

Had 3 character commissions Dramatically down from last year and I wonder how much is due to AI and no one having any money. Who knows! I love illustrating people’s OCs and Dnd characters, and the commissions I did get have been really fun. Two of them are in the banner above this section 👆

Snowbaz & Fandom Adventures

This is only the second year I’ve engaged with the lovely Snowbaz community and I am so glad I pushed myself to do it. I’ve made some wonderful friends and I’m sharing my writing publicly for the first time in years. I’ve not done much compared to most, but I’m trying to pace myself so I don’t burn out and stop enjoying it. I’m hoping to be healthier this year thanks to new meds, so with any luck I’ll be able to do a bit more than in 2024.

Snow On Ice (writer) (M, 3.8K words, chapter 1/12ish) For CORB 24 with concept and artwork by @iamamythologicalcreature is one of the first two fics I’ve ever shared on Ao3 and I’m loving every second of writing this!!

Boundless (writer) (T, 4.5K words, chapter 1/5) Also for CORB 24, this time with @cattocavo This one has taken a bit of a back seat as I’ve discovered the hard way that I can’t write two large fics at once (curse my limitations!!!) but I’m looking forward to getting back to this when I can, especially since Catto has already produced so much incredible artwork for it and it needs to be shared!!!

On Every Wall (artist) (E, 24K, chapters 2/2)written by @orange-peony for CORB 24. I love drawing these boys so much, dammit. It was so good working with Peony and seeing her story unfold based off my indulgent artwork (an edit of which is in the above banner). I wanted to draw so much more for this fic, but health and work got in the way.

Fics that have brought me comfort and joy:

I get through a lot of Ao3 fics, but wanted to give a shout out to the fics that have stayed with me long after reading them. I cannot get over the healing power of writing and how incredible it is that so many of us can find common ground in this way. 

Someone Wicked The first is @artsyunderstudy’s Someone Wicked (Snowbaz, E, Chapters). It wrecked me and then built me back up again in the best way possible. Seeing their artwork is always an inspiration too, and I have listened to their Something Wicked Playlist about a billion times. Like any well adjusted normal person, right??

Blame it on My Youth (Andreil AFTG, E, 1.5M words, Chapters 136/?) I still owe @yourficstheyglow a lengthy Ao3 comment on how much this fic has changed my life. It’s held my hand and encouraged me to look after myself better over the past 6 months in a way therapy never has. I vibed with their depiction of Neil SO HARD. His reluctance to engage with mediation and journalling is so relatable. Along with his frustration at people forever suggesting it to him, and then his irritation that it actually helps a bit. 😂 Reading about Neil shopping around for therapists, working on his communication and downloading self care apps (even though he hates it all every step of the way) has resulted in me printing out charts to help identify my emotions, making a spreadsheet of potential therapists to approach when I’m ready, journaling for the first time in yeeeears and getting a handle on my mental health in a way I never really have before. I even downloaded the stupid Finch app (after years of people suggesting it to me) because Neil did (I named by bird Neil). When I’ve felt lonely and sad, I’ve found reassurance and safety in Neil and Andrew being soft with each other, exploring their boundaries as Andrew works through his trauma from SA, stepping outside of their comfort zones, trusting each other and respecting each other’s limitations. 

Of Cats and Closed Doors (Fitzloved Rote, E, 785K words, Chapters 77/?) I’ve been dipping in and out of this fic by @tragediegh for a good 18 months now, if not longer. I am full of love for the Farseer Trilogy books and ate them up a few years ago. The Liveship Traders came next but then I got too in my head to ready the Tawny Man trilogy, since Fitz and the Fool are so dear to me I didn’t know how to handle them going through more trauma. I just want them to hug and kiss and be loved so badly!! Ellipsis provided a monumental dose of comfort and healing in this fic. It’s become my personal canon. Last year, thanks to this fic, I finally had the courage to start reading The Tawny Man trilogy. I’m on to book 2 now and although I am terrified, I know I can come back to Of Cats and Closed Doors to remind myself in Ellipsis’ universe everything turns out ok!

I think that'll do for 2024! Tags here are to say I appreciate you and thank you for chilling with me in the tumblrverse.

@youarenevertooold @iamamythologicalcreature @alexalexinii @cattocavo @that-disabled-princess

@orange-peony @cutestkilla @rimeswithpurple @larkral @best--dress

@scribble-tier @theimpossibledemon @artsyunderstudy @raenestee @thewholelemon

@nightimedreamersworld @itriednottothinkaboutit @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @angelsfalling16

@the-beard-of-edward-teach @monbons @katatsumuli

@aristocratic-otter @snowbazdaily @argumentativeantitheticalg @lovelyladzzzz @eremeldanin

[yandere-sins]

Yan-Poll #22

[Continuation of this poll]

You could tell by the way your captor was pacing that something was wrong, but you didn't know what.

Pulling your blanket over your head you heaved a deep sigh, counting down the seconds that he'd burst through the door demanding yet another stupid thing you didn't want to do. After the mental and physical torture that had been the previous day, you had chosen to pout and rest in bed all day long, even when your kidnapper left you for some hours. All the sleep and quiet had done you good, your rebellious nature giving in to a rare but much needed rest day.

You had yet to leave the bed, but all you wanted was to stop worrying about what he was thinking and focus on your daydreams that would eventually turn into real dreams as you drifted off into another nap. With your luck you'd probably be in another screaming match by the time he asked you to have dinner with him. You needed to preserve your energy for that and not for wondering what the fuck made him so restless.

"So..." you heard his voice from the doorway, making you heave yet another, this time loud and audible, sigh.

"What did you do all day?"

Throwing back the blanket you revealed your messy, unbothered self giving him the stink eye and he stared back bewildered.

"I stayed in bed. Drank some water. Slept. Fun times."

"That's all you did?" You nodded.

"You didn't get up and do... you know," he gestured wildly in the air, probably meaning something like 'try to escape' or 'ruined the furniture out of spite'.

"No. I just stayed in bed. I ate some snacks though, the ones you brought me."

"Well... did you enjoy it?"

"Sure? Got some rest, laid low for a day. Had my favorites snacks. Nothing to complain about."

"I see..."

Humming thoughtfully, your captor turned around, glancing briefly back at you before he walked to another room in the apartment. You watched him, confused, but eventually settled back into your soft pillow and closed your eyes, trying not to mind his weirdness too much.

The next time you awoke, the sun was setting, and a feeling of surprise washed over you as you realized he hadn't asked you for dinner. But as soon as your senses stabilized you heard the sizzling of food in a pan and the clinking of metal and cutlery from the kitchen. You decided it was the right time to get up and have some food, your captor looking up when he heard you come into the room.

He smiled, nodding towards the table. "Have a seat, I'm almost done," he invited and you did as you were told, taking the two glasses that were prepared on the counter with you to the table. Everything was already set and it wasn't long until he put down the hot pan with food on the table. He even went as far as to put give out the food to you, and you had to admit it looked and smelled amazing.

You two ate mostly in silence, which made it harder to ignore that your captor seemed to be nervous, tapping his finger on the table and bobbing his leg up and down. You caught him looking at you when you gave him an annoyed glance and he set down his fork, clearing his throat before leaning onto the table.

"So I..." he started, thinking about his words for a moment before continuing. "I've been thinking. This is probably the first time that you behaved well since you came here. And I came to the conclusion that you deserve to be rewarded for that."

Everything from "behaved well" to "came here" to "rewarded" made you cringe so hard, you lost all your appetite. But before you could spit it out and destroy the apparenty harmony he was feeling between you two, he gave you a choice that you didn't expect.

"What would you like?"

It felt like a trap. A truly, honest trap. Besides, if you said, "I want to leave without you," he'd probably not give you what you wanted. Was there even a point of telling him anything if he could very likely refuse your choice or even end up being angry and annoyed about you asking for things like your freedom or something to enable your escape or get help?

But then again, there were a lot of simple things you were missing too.

You missed going out to clear your head. Walk in a park or in a cafe. Have a look around a store and buy some clothes or books you wanted. Maybe if you asked him to take you on a date you'd have a chance to alert someone. And if not, you at least got some of the novelty back that you missed.

Or perhaps you should have asked him to let you cook again. Besides being able to access tools (although probably under supervision) that you could use to escape or threaten him, you'd also get to cook your favorite dishes again. Or perhaps he'd take you out grocery shopping where you could ask someone for help or at least get items into your temporary home that you could utilize or enjoy.

And what about the obvious choices like asking for a phone to 'play games' or at least utensils for your hobbies? Anything to make it more bareable to be hear. Anything to make him believe you were finally getting used to being with him and settling in so you could trick him into more and more?

That perhaps were also the reason why it would be a good idea to let him choose. See what he comes up with and pretend to be happy and thankful about it to keep him less alert and more at peace. You'd strike when he finally let all of his guard down, unable to do anything at that point.

This opportunity sounded like a trap, but it had the potential to become an advantage.

(Reasoning and discussions welcome! ♥)

[asktheritochampion]

Happy Yule, Master Revali.

We know you have a sweet-tooth, so Saki and I decided to bake a log cake and some hot pepper windmills. I managed to get some smooth cocoa paste from a traveller down in the Faron Region for you to make hot cocoa with. Apparently it’s made from a rare type of cacao bean that has a distinct fruity taste. Haven’t tried it myself but I think you’ll enjoy it with the pastries.

I also bought some ancient arrows from the Sheikah scientist in Hateno. He was pretty ecstatic when I managed to find the right materials. I thought they’d be useful if you ever encounter an enemy you don’t want to deal with. Just don’t point them at Link for any strange experiments.

We ended up getting a few eye paint containers from Swanphora as well. There’s purple, green, and yellow. I chose these ones specifically because they remind me of Saki, Tulin and I, so…I hope you’ll be reminded of us if you do use them.

Master Revali, you’ve proven yourself more than capable time and time again. In spite of your upbringing and the opposition you faced, you continue to persist through challenges with an unwavering spirit. Without a doubt, you are the best role model I could ever have. You’re known as the Pride of the Rito for a reason, after all.

Although you may not yet realize it, we already see you as part of our family. You’ve taught myself and Tulin a great number of things. You saved our lives and Rito Village countless times. I’ll admit, your words can be…unrestrained at times and I am more than willing to call you out, but your perseverance and genuine love for the people around you far out way your demeanour. I would be proud to call you my son with your consent, though we’ll still treat you as family even if you refused. Both you and Link are sons in my eyes.

Thank you Master Revali…for everything you’ve done, for us and the village. I’m forever grateful that you chose to be a part of our lives after you returned. I look forward to spending more time together in the upcoming year.

From,

Teba

Tch - that man is so soppy and emotional.

How dare he think I have any need for his pride, it's not like I care what he thinks. I don't care if I'm part of their silly little family or not, I've always been a lone wolf anyway, I don't need anyone, especially not someone to call me their son. I don't need anyones approval. Though I supose I don't care what he calls me - whatever, he can call me that if he wants I guess, it's none of my buisiness.

How ridiculous and unessessary. I supose I shall accept the thoughtful gifts though to be polite.

M-maybe I could drop in for - just for a bit to- help out with the yuletide cooking and decorating- just to be polite-maybe-

[whoopsiefuckindaisy]

❄️ Be There by @mission2feelike [179k]

Niall sits down dramatically, arms flopping to his side before he leans forward and looks right into Harry’s eyes. “So, your ex-boyfriend, who broke your heart four years ago, is coming to stay at your house for six weeks? And his daughter, your daughter, is coming to stay tonight?” Harry nods, worried if he speaks he’ll be yelled at again, but then Niall’s face softens, his ever-present smile is back and Harry hears him breathe out a small chuckle. “Okay, for the record, I think this is the worst idea you’ve ever had, but how can we help?"

or The one where their family has been torn apart and their hearts broken, but an accident, a snowstorm, cinnamon rolls, and the adorable Josie force Louis and Harry to finally face the truth, and each other.

❄️ When Least Expected by rearviewdreamer @all-these-larrythings [22k]

Drowning in a sea of emails and Zoom meetings in the living room, his lonely son falling more and more behind in his kitchen classroom, and crushing weight of the world being on house arrest for the foreseeable future, one fateful online interaction suddenly has everything looking up.

❄️ Nothing Else But Us Right Here by supernope [35k]

Louis sighs and gives himself a mental pep talk as he smooths his jumper down over his hips. He can do this. He can resist the draw of Harry Styles, because he is a responsible, mature adult, and as much as he wants to tangle his fingers in that mess of hair and map those ridiculous tattoos with his tongue, he does not want to get his daughter’s favorite teacher fired.

❄️ If My Heart Was A Compass, You'd Be North by @cheekiestcheeky , @heartsoftlouis [55k]

The one where punk Louis likes to think he’s not clumsy, but he suspects he’ll have to accept it when he falls face first into a relationship with a head full of curls and his tiny human.

❄️ My Heart Might Be Broken (But I Won't Be Broken Down by @elleseekeepdriv [46k]

A story about a couple falling in love and becoming a family, and then breaking up and dealing with a heartbroken daughter while surviving their own heartbreak. But at its core, a story about a couple fighting against biphobia, fighting for their love, and learning to accept each other while learning to accept themselves.

❄️ Oh We're In Love, Aren't We by rearviewdreamer @all-these-larrythings [30k]

After sixteen wonderful years of friendship, it's hard to imagine any grand (and usually dumb) plans they haven't had or some type of mischief they haven't gotten into together. But, when Harry suddenly finds himself without a fiance and Louis just wants to help him feel okay again, they realize falling in love is one thing they haven't done, and that's about to change.

❄️ Sip It Slowly And Pay Attention by vintagehistories @adoredontour [12k]

It’s not that he doesn’t trust Louis, but. He doesn’t trust Louis’ taste. Louis has about the same track record with men that Harry does, if not quite as extensive.

or, harry is a guidance counselor, louis is an english teacher, and harry just wants to go on one successful date.

❄️ Play Pretend, Find A Friend? by @angelichl [40k]

When Louis sees his ex-boyfriend kissing a random girl at a party, he acts out of blind jealousy. He kisses the first guy he can find. It turns into a thing.

INSPIRED BY CLOUDS.

❄️ Fly Me To Places I've Never Been by @boosbabycakes28 [47k]

The one where Louis’ ex ends up sitting right behind him with his new girlfriend on his flight back to Los Angeles, and the beautiful stranger next to him has an unexpected idea to help him get through the next five hours.

❄️ See It Turning Red by @dinosaursmate [30k]

Prince Harry employs a male escort to accompany him to official functions to spite his father, King Edward, but Harry has a little trouble keeping his head.

❄️ Campus Creatures by @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf [25k]

It’s senior year for werewolf Louis Tomlinson and vampire Harry Styles, and as presidents of their respective fraternities, they’re determined to do it right.

Though what that means is anybody’s guess.

❄️ Break Open The Sky by @karamelised [20k]

Werewolf au. Harry might be a werewolf, but he still wants to experience Uni like everyone else. Turns out he learns a lot.

❄️ Night Changes by colourexplosion [40k]

Fuck, he loves Louis. Wait, of course he loves Louis. What’s not to love? He’s kind and he’s funny and he’s patient with Harry always and he’s always been there when Harry needed him. Well, not tonight, but Harry hadn’t specifically said to him that he needed him and whatever — okay. Of course he loves Louis. That doesn’t mean he’s in love with Louis.

But I am in love with Louis, he thinks, and curses as his shampoo runs into his eyes.

Or, Louis and Harry are soulmates. (With a twist.)

❄️ Help Me, Help You Find Love by haroldstylinson29 [23k]

The one where they all attend a university for supernaturals and Werewolf Frat president and resident heartthrob Harry approaches on campus matchmaker Louis to help him find love.

❄️ Reverse Psychology by heartbreakwthr [17k]

The one where Louis Tomlinson is an elementary school teacher that has visited the hospital twice a week for the past two months, and is hopelessly out of Harry’s league; Harry Styles is a child psychologist who can’t bring muster up the courage to introduce himself to the biggest crush he’s ever had; and somehow they work together to create the best Christmas party the hospital’s ever seen.

Total Fics Read: 15

[imageingrunge]

A needlessly thorough review of DATV so I can move on with my life:

WHAT I LIKED:

The story pacing flows better without all that open world slog from DAI I am not bombarded by 50 side quests that have no baring on anything other than rp flavor

The game is pretty, CC is nice

They gave you far more opportunities to flesh out your Rook's background than in DAI and da2 but it's not as fun has having a mini origin story from DAO

no fall damage and if u run out of a combat zone ur companions follow u too

Hossberg wetlands really remind me of dragon age awakenings and I like the way the blight looks there, it gave me a nice nostalgic feeling for the older games

WHAT I DID NOT LIKE (IN DETAIL)

Voice Acting & Dialogue

It is really hard to be invested in a game that feels the need to recap everything you just experienced from 5 minutes ago, (verging on insulting my intelligence) and the silliest part is while i do hate this I got so checked out after act 2 I needed the recap 

A lot of the dialogue and banter is just empty small talk and meaningless pleasantries that sucked the life out of me, had me longing for the days of hearing Ohgren's beer belches reverberate off the walls in the deep roads:

 Voice acting is really consistent, I hated it when you never knew how your inquisitor would sound in DAI sometimes too serious for a funny comment or like yelling at Cassandra and cullen over nothing - Rook is more consistent but it comes at a loss of personality every line is uttered in the same annoying tone that had me being like damn can he stfu already (da2 was ideal voice acting for me if they cant deliver that again just go back to a voiceless protagonist)

Me whenever my rook opened his mouth: i was getting violent on that skip button

The dialogue between rook and their companions holds it back from being enjoyable at all really- here's some examples:

Emmerich's personal quest in act 2: "I want to do this immortality rite it's a very high honor in my order but rook I might die in the process permanently, I am an orphan and afraid of dying" Rook: "You could die?!?! That's awful". In Origins you can have a conversation with Wynn about her inevitable death and respond in a manner similar to rook and Wynn teases you by saying "well i'm not going to live for ever dear" it made me smile and sad about not being able to really help her. Did not feel that way Emmerich though, Im so uninterested in him as a character my response and feelings are "old people die all the time" and then 'wait why the fuck haven't you done this immortality ritual yet instead dragging me over here to collect some flowers"

Companions & Romance

the flirt options aren't all that flirty, its just rook being nice, all the romance content seems behind a 'romance locked in' moment (that comes in so late in the game u already forgot who u were even flirting with at times) so you can't hop ur way from one bed to another before deciding on 'the forever one' (remember when I could ride the iron bull then break up and be with Cullen- I don't think that’s an option here)

The companions are all pretty forgettable, I did everyone's personal quest (with the exception of Taash tried to kill a dragon for them n failed so bad i just moved on) and forgot there was even an approval system with them or that I was supposed to pick choices for them. It felt like i was on a train going in one direction where it did not matter what I said or did to them they would be fine. It’s like I've lost and gained nothing by doing these quests. The deepest thing I learned about Emmerich is that he is a 50 yr old orphan scared of dying. And it makes me not care all that much about them beyond “I just need you to function enough to get me to the end of the game sure Taash embrace being Rivaini, yes Harding live peacefully w that Titan shit inside you idc… Lucanis..ahh what was ur issue again I forget”

I made Lucanis live peacefully with Spite (stuck as an abomination that's supposed to be as volatile as Anders & Justice) Let Emmerich become a lich and no one batted an eye. Everyone just heehee haw hawing over Emmerich's new skeleton form and I forget about spite a lot unless he comments on something i've killed. Was there supposed to be some moral quandary? to make Emmerich a lich I had to "kill off" Manfred... the walking skeleton who might as well have been a rock with a pair of googly eyes attached to him for all i care

I don’t want to help Bellara light funeral pyres in a puzzle game play style that isnt a deep message about death. I want Aveline's speech about reading her favorite book to her dying father after hawke lost thier mother.

For Neve's romance, it took the whole world falling part and everyone dying for her to kiss me for a 2 time and then pity fuck me and afterword she’s like I’m leaving don’t want to be too distracting. All these lines carry no weight like bad actors w no chemistry

jaw on the floor comparing this (first time I said "i love you" to neve)

to the first time I said it to cullen and how he treats u before the big battle

I get that she isn't lovey dovey but at 70 hrs in and 2 kisses it feels like she just dont love me </3

Combat - as a spellblade mage*

combat was this weird mix of sometimes fun sometimes a new and unique form of human torture (wydm press shift 4 times n hold down e then press V C and 2 IM ON A KEYBOARD!) Once u make it past level 20 u are immortal but ur enemies are sponges I dreaded every single dragon fight despite that being my favorite thing to do in DAI. Don't ever want to see another Ogre in my life they body me into corners that hitting space can't save me from.

At some point u just gotta run around the place a lot hoping ur companions can do the damage for you bc the mobs aren’t interested in them at all. i was spamming 2 n slamming on that E key hopping it would be over n done with already, If i wanted to play a flashy monster hunter game, well then id play tw3 at least that combat is fun.

Lore & Story building

At the end of Trespasser, I was under the impression that the conflict in DATV would revolve around solas amassing an army of elves all over Thedas to rebel against the Evanuris. He had a whole network of Spies working against the Inquisition and the Antaam, and planned to restore the elven people, upend their religious views, and try to tear down the veil as a way of atonement. So I was understanding of there only being 3 import choices ( 1- who you romanced, 2- Save or redeem Solas 3- Disband or Keep inquisition). But that's not the story we get; instead its this??

The veil jumpers are like engineering mages with no ties to Solas beyond being an elves. There is no religious struggle they just seem to accept that these Gods have always been evil and need to be stopped. Solas is just a one man army trapped in the fade off screen for like 70% of the game. Should I have just kept the inquisition around after all? The only mention I got was my disbanded inquisition choice was inky going "my name still carries weight in southern thedas" and it seemed like disbanding or keeping it would have an affect on how easy or hard it would be to stop Solas but no it really doesn't at all

“It doesn’t feel like a Dragon Age game”

A criticism I rarely take seriously because that can mean so many different things? Like what is it the atmosphere? The aesthetics? The “dArK fAnTasy” none of these things have ever stayed consistent in any dragon age game. And I’d say DA franchise lost its teeth/edge when dai rolled around it was pretty light in the world of dark fantasy

However…theyre kinda right this time around....

It doesn’t feel like a dragon age game because they removed a lot of the lore your were exposed to in the previous games to the point where this might as well be another game all together. (i am not even a lore nerd but i do need something there to feel like i am in a dragon age game)

Yes the city is named Minrathos you were are told of its cultural significance and history as the seat of the empire but looks like a shittier version of kirkwall (and I kept getting lost going around the map so I hated it even more for wasting my time) Honestly the city felt super high tech and out of place in a fantasy setting imo, I missed it when everyone lived in a wooden hovel in the middle of the woods.

There is no reason for the venatori to follow Elgarnan and ghilian'nan or for the Qunari either but it all gets hand waved away with "they offered us power"

Reading the Inquisitors letters made me feel like im in a spinoff game and the real story is happening somewhere else. And sad to like baby take me with you!! i want to save u from this nightmare

A lot of the factions are sanitized to the point of being boring Darvin's little 'we're warden we don't do blood magic that's just not right" baby I let the wardens sacrifice elves to Corphyeus 3 weeks ago :/

Qunari Culture

So the whole reason you were fighting the Antaam in DAI was because they believed you were in cahoots with Solas, who's whole plan to them is to sow chaos and disorder- that is a HUGE no no in the Qun so they see it as their sacred duty to stop you. The Qunari we meet in DATV mindless npc mooks who attack you not because your with Solas but because the Evil elven gos promised them uhh power n shit for stopping you. Like I know I did not just waste my time in DAI reading about how egalitarian the Qun is everyone is like a Hive, they depend on each other so selfishness is rooted out so wtf was going on in Treviso with these guys. A whole culture decimated down to being darkspawn mobs part 2

What made me never want to play another DA game ever again:

Everything you ever did in Orlais, Ferelden, Kirkwall is pointless. No matter what the last letter from the Inquistor is "yeah the blight reached the south Denerim is gone, ferelden is blighted beyond repair, we took back Skyhold but barely. The Venatori disposed of whoever you put in charge of Orlais and there's giant leviathans rising out the sea in Ostwick"  There is no conclusion to this it's just the state of the world now

I cant even pretend my non solas romanced Inky is happy and safe after all this? My hof and Alistar might as well be dead for all that it ever mattered. I get that the devs wanted a clean slate but did they have to burn my house down and salt the fields? It feels so spiteful and mean, like they wanted to make a whole separate game and tack on the "dragon age" title to it for money. If they're not interested in the lore or world building why should I? it made me fully checked out of the rest of the story. Like damn idgaf about elgar'nan and the other one give me back Redcliff

TLDR I dont know if i should be sad that I still care about this or glad its over either way im blocking all datv tags n moving on

[iamsurvivor666]

Our Youth (2024).

A few things that stuck with me and my ramblings about them:

● There are several points that hit a mark for me in Miseinen.

First would be the timeline (that I still haven't understood). Minase's narration takes place over the span of years – it is hinted in an episode that he was in his 2nd year of college at that point, but when the drama switches back to the present, he is in his final year.

● You never know the impact you have on somebody.

Minase hanging onto Hirukawa even after 5 years might come off as dramatic or fictional to some. But, this was the most realistic to me, if I have interpreted Minase Jin's character the right way.

In the beginning, he is partly guilty/pitiful regarding Hirukawa's condition – he initially doesn't listen and tells that he is heading back for class when Hirukawa asks his help to change his bandages; and stops in his tracks when he realizes how badly hurt he was.

Yet, he asks him to not speak to him at school. Which is in reality, a rude and cruel way to turn down someone. I have to give props to Hirukawa for putting up with it. But, that's what most of our parents have taught us – stay away from delinquent children or you, too, will be caught in the trap.

Minase and Hirukawa were from vastly different worlds – there is a scene where they walk into the classroom with their friends and the topics pretty much establish this.

Minase is lauded by everyone as the ‘special, intelligent’ type of kid. And he is quite content at being stuck in the safe zone with his two safe friends. Which is why Hirukawa barging into his life violently throws him off track.

You know those incidents in life with a few people that change the way you perceive stuff? That is what both of them were to each other.

● When Minase begins to understand that Hirukawa was somehow beginning to affect him both in his studies and emotions, he takes the initiative to step back. I'm 100% sure that the story would have ended right there, with a regretful 'what if?’ if Hirukawa, who is in tune with his emotions, hadn't stepped in and made a choice which even Minase couldn't say no to.

Minase lets the other party make the choices. May it be his parents, friends or Hirukawa. But, his no care facade comes with a consequence—people expect him to be okay with everything that's happening.

He is the perfect example of how you can be envied and surrounded by friends, yet be completely lonely.

He gets drunk twice for his friends; he agrees to study abroad and wants to fulfill his mother's dreams; he lets Hirukawa leave when he tells him that he wouldn't contact him anymore.

(But, really. What could he have done? Ask Haruki to not cut off their communication after he clearly went through a major incident which he wanted to forget?)

● There was a post on tumblr which described how the saddest part of the drama was not the parting, but the fact that even Hirukawa misunderstood Minase.

But, that's also what makes Our Youth really memorable to me.

Minase lost someone precious, but that doesn't stop him from achieving his goals. Hirukawa blended in as a part of his youth, a profound memory, whom he would cherish silently.

The same goes for Hirukawa – who is more vocal about his emotions. He quickly understands that Minase is not comfortable/familiar with the concept of liking someone after being ignored twice. His desperation at realizing that he indeed likes him far too much to let him go, and his drastic reaction to that was honestly, one of the scariest scenes I've seen to date.

He never speaks up about ‘liking’ to Minase, but he does test the waters before proceeding— episode 5 hints that Minase indeed has somehow begun to like him back, but he dismisses Hirukawa's attempt to get a reaction out of him, thus closing that chapter, too.

Minase relied more on his actions rather than words – to Hirukawa, his life would continue as normal in spite of everything that happened. He had his own friends, cram school and exams to study for. Hirukawa moving away would not affect the focused Minase,with a regular, albeit lonely, life.

From Minase's point of view, he was the one left behind.

● The Separation – I've heard the term noble idiocy being used. But, to be honest, Hirukawa needed to leave the place to gain some sort of normalcy back into his life. He had seen too much and living in that home and school where he would always suffer prejudice would do him no good.

He looked upto Minase and wanted to be someone worthy of his affections. This wouldn't have been possible if he was still stuck in the same place.

In a way, life continued on for Minase, too, in spite of his absence. The only problem was that he underestimated his importance in Minase's life/misunderstood Minase.

[quirkwizard]

Battle Report: A Retrospective on the Final War Arc

The Final War Arc is finally over. It's been a wild ride. And while I had my issues with it, I ultimately think was a good arc. I think it may go somewhere in the 7/10 to 8/10 range for my tier list of arcs. Who knows though. With all of that done though, I wanted to take a chance to look back on this arc and talk about what's transpired. Now, is this a little premature? Kind of. At the time of writing and posting this, the epilogue is still going on. The series has not ended and any of my complaints may be null and void after all of this is over. However, the arc is massive. It's eighty chapters long with dozens of plotlines and characters all mashing up against one another. I want to take the time out of focus on everything that has happened and leave the epilogue to it's own post.

And with that context, it is a lot to cover. Even if it's not the epilogue, it's still everything from chapter 343 to 423. So this post is going to be more disjointed, stream of conscious writing about my thoughts on specific parts of the arc that are worth talking about instead of doing some deep dive on the whole thing. Sure, I think the civilian stuff with Eri and everyone else in the bunker is nice in it's own way and I think how the pilots are used is hilarious, but that isn't enough for me to talk about. If you want me to discuss something in particular or expand on something here, I may talk about it later or add it to the post. With all of that being cleared up, my retrospective on the finale of the Final War Arc.

Shoto vs Dabi: This is the first fight of the arc, and we are definitely starting strong. I've already gushed about how much I enjoy this bit ever since it happened, so I will keep this brief. Of course, seeing Dabi back and all of his spiteful glory is great. Though, if we're being honest, the real start is Shoto and his new Super Move. The Phospher reveal is such a cool power-up for Shoto, and it works great in so many ways. It's a unique and clever way to counteract Dabi's firepower without just trying to overpower him. And it all leads to this beautiful and distinct art of flowing ice. It's so cool. And the best part is that it acts as the perfect cap to his character arc of trying to define himself, combining the two halves of himself into a combination that is completely his own. That's not even getting into the numerous references to phosphor, giving this even more depth.

All For One vs Endeavor: In spite of having a lot of focus, I don't have a lot to say about the forest fight. It's a lot of the same stuff as the Tomura fight, though not as egregious. I will say that I think Enji's bits in this arc are rather underrated. Having Enji fight All For One is a good way to wrap up that part of this character, finally growing past his own insecurities relating to Izuku and All Might while still achieving something that would make him worthy of being the top pro. The flashback about his father dying saving someone adds so much context to who Endeavor is as a person, and I'm really glad we got it. And having Endeavor burn away the past version of himself is such a cool image and a good moment for his character. Honestly, I think Enji continues his hot streak as one of the best written characters in this story.

Tomura vs Everyone: I didn't much care for this part. It felt very repetitive. Characters attack Tomura. It doesn't do anything. Tomura starts monologuing. Repeat. They couldn't do anything to Tomura, but as Hori has shown, he's reluctant to kill off named characters. It's why, despite getting ragdolled, none of them died. It didn't feel like the threat of death was looming over any of them, making this big battle feel relatively low-stakes. So we're stuck in this cycle of Tomura beating all of them up for dozens of chapters, only for neither side to really get anywhere. It feels like we're stalling. That Hori simply needed Izuku out of the picture to delay the final fight for him and Tomura. Which, sure, I get, but he could have at least made what was happening with Tomura more interesting. What's worse is that this is so much time spent with AFO Tomura. A character who isn't nearly as interesting as some of his parts and is a watered-down version of both.

Spinner's Assault: This is by far the worst part of the entire finale. Let's ignore the politics and message and how they may or may not apply to the real world. This mini-arc is focused on Koda, Shoji, and Spinner. All characters I like to varying degrees, but none feel like they have earned this kind of focus. The whole mutant discrimination plotline feels woefully underdeveloped, so having it be the center point of this part feels jarring. And saying it only happens outside the city is such a handwave. Not only does that make no sense, as bigotry can happen just as much, if not more, in metro areas, but it has little showing within the world. Hori, if you wanted to set this up, maybe you should have actually had some major focus on stories out of the city. So having so much time dedicated to it just feels wasteful and frustrating. I could go on a longer rant, but I will save it for another time.

Bakugou's "Death": What a waste. Come on now, did any of you really think Bakugou died here? Or would stay dead? And having his resurrection tied to his clustered sweat feels like a slap in the face of Edgeshot. The guy who reduced himself to a thin string just to save Bakugou's life. On that note, having Edgeshot be the one to save Bakugou feels… out of place. Edgeshot is a pretty minor character with no connection to Bakugou. Many figured that this sudden change would lead to some boost for Bakugou, but it didn't. So why Edgeshot? Why couldn't Best Jeanist be the one to do it, the one that is more important to both Bakugou and the audience? And this doesn't feel like a major change for Bakugou. If you have your character die and come, there should be some greater change to them or how they act, but it doesn't. At least, nothing as major as a death and resurrection should have. The biggest effect it has is on Tomura, bringing him out of the control of All For One, and Izuku, showing that he wouldn't lose control and break again. Once again, Bakugou's grievous injury is more important to the characters around him.

Rewound All For One: One of the more controversial parts of the arc. Is it a reach for Garaki to make the drug? Kind of. Is it annoying to still have All For One around? To a degree. Does it lead to some frustrating moments like All For One not unleashing his biggest area-clearing attack to start with when he knows he's on a time limit? Yes. However, I ultimately feel as though this does more good for the story than bad. By giving All For One this timer, it gives him a more definitive weakness to exploit and a ticking counter in the form of his body degenerating. And by keeping him around, it gives him a chance to go against Endeavor, Toshinori, and Bakugou. That way, they're completing their own arcs without feeling like any of their efforts are wasted or overstepping each other's time in the ring with All For One.

Dabi's Quirk: This is going to be a more personal annoyance, but I'm really frustrated with how Hori handled Dabi's Quirk. First off, him instantly using Shoto's technique against him is such nonsense. You're telling me that seeing it is enough for him to replicate it with no training?And him suddenly making ice for himself also makes zero sense. He hasn't shown anything like that before, and nothing about his power implies that he could. And don't tell me it's literally Rei's Quirks, but that makes even less sense. I could explain that as an evolution of his ice resistance, but that's more me trying to make sense of it. Could you justify it as being Shoto's sibling and their powers having similar mechanics and traits? Sure, but a lot of it comes across more as a convivence to keep Dabi's corpse moving. At least his design is cool.

Wasted Students: While the manga actually does a good job of distributing attention, there are some students that I feel were shafted. A special mention goes to Sero, Ojiro, and Sato, whom Hori pretty obviously just shoved together to get them out of the way. The ones I'm thinking about are Iida and Momo. Momo was one of the 1-A characters who had some arc, so having her be relegated to a living printer feels wasteful. However, I can at least forgive this a little. Her moment was during the PLF War, and her position makes sense. But shoot, Tenya was done dirty in this arc. He doesn't have any really cool moments of his own and very little in the way of character moments. I thought he was going to have something done with Stain, but no. Most of his time in this arc is spent supporting Shoto, quite literally in the case of the Ice Jet maneuver. Wait, why was he even fighting Dabi? Tenya himself admits he's a bad match for this, so why was he there? 

Shiketsu Students: This is one of the few moments in the arc that actually surprised me, and it's a welcome surprise at that. As someone who thought that the Shiketsu students were interesting but underdeveloped, it was cool seeing them act as reinforcements. What was even a better surprise was Camie's "Glamour" trick with the fake Hawks. That has got to be the funniest movement in this entire arc, bar none. Of the three, Inasa gets the most focus, and I think he does pretty well with it. While I do like his soft cap on his arc with the Todoroki's, reflecting his growth as well as their own, I really enjoy how much he just shuts All For One down this arc. All For One is trying to do these big speeches and one-liners, and Inasa is out here yelling him down like any other two-bit criminal. It's equal parts hilarious and awesome.

Tokoyami:  On the flip side of my statement about students, I think Tokoyami is really good in this arc. Tokoyami is one of the less prominent characters in terms of development and actual emotional moments to support him. The arc did a good job of giving him some kind of arc for his character. About how he sees his powers and how hard they are to control. And I'm going to be totally transparent here, I just think full-power Dark Shadow is really cool. There isn't anything deep or nuanced here. Seeing this giant shadow mecha loom over the whole battlefield and make All For One go pale is super sick. It's not just all action and character, either. He probably had one of the best reactions to anything ever in the whole series when illusion Hawks "died". So in spite of my issues with the other students, at least Tokoyami was done well.

The Big Three: Yeah, I didn't really care for what was happening with a lot of the Big Three. They ultimately fall into the same issues as everyone else in the UA Battle Zone that I talked about before. And while their massive railgun attack was cool on paper, it all amounted to nothing. It all feels like such pointless fluff to tide the user's over. It's not even like they have anything interesting going on character-wise, either. Mirio is easily the biggest victim of this. Ever since Mirio got his Quirk back, he hasn't really been given any chance to act outside of the costume or really be his own character. Seriously, the biggest moment he has is him acting as the butt of the joke in order to distract Tomura so Izuku can get in. Was there really no better way to do that? And as much as I want to remember him for other stuff he did, like yelling at Izuku, there really isn't anything else that sticks out.

Gearshift: Again, a more personal gripe, but one that bugs me a lot. I really don't like "Gearshift" as a power. Like "Fa Jin", it doesn't feel like it expands on any of Izuku's capabilities, only doubling down on what is already there. Unlike "Fa Jin", this had way more potential that went unused. Being able to alter the speed of an object or person is such an interesting concept. And for all of the hype surrounding it, it doesn't feel like it's used to its full potential. Really? We couldn't think of a better Quirk for him. Or at least come up with something more interesting for this one to do? All it's used for is to give a power boost to Izuku and make him go faster. The only time it's used to do anything else is when he uses it to speed up Bakugou. Why couldn't we get more stuff like that? Or at least maybe giving it a chance to interact with Izuku's other quirks for combinations?

Gigantomachia Battle: I like this well enough. As much as the reappearance of what's his face frustrates me, that's more of a carryover from my problems with Midnight's death and not the fault of this arc. It's a good follow-up for the brief arc with Mina and I like how much her new move ties into their growth with its name. Plus, it gave Shinso a cool moment that felt natural without stepping on anyone else's toes. I will say that I'm pretty confused at the sudden turn with Gigantomachia, who only really seems mournful over what All For One did once. And the one time he did, it seemed more regretful that someone as pathetic as Tomura was the successor. Otherwise, he just seemed like a loyal thug without much personality.

Todorokis vs Dabi: For the dramatic resolution of the Todoroki family storyline, I find myself having very little say about it. It's good. I really like seeing the feral, demented version of Dabi who is barely held together. Enji's lines about people watching him and taking responsibility become twisted with Dabi's view of him and his actions. I like the monologue Shoto gives as he's flying to stop Dabi. I guess my issue is that the rest of it doesn't stand out as much to me. And the actual resolution doesn't feel any different from the way Shoto fought him. It came across like the earlier fight with him was just there to keep him occupied so Enji could fight All For One and didn't serve any real purpose for the characters. That there needed to be this resolution for everyone else in the Todoroki family and for Dabi as well, but doing it like this lessens some of the punch. 

Uraraka vs Toga: One of my favorite parts of the arc. This entire section was such a dark horse for me, someone who didn't put a lot of stock in the Uraraka and Toga storyline. It shocked me how invested I was in the fight. Just seeing how hard Uraraka fights is so enthralling to watch, going through so much to help Toga. And this is one of the few points in the series where Awakenings work, with an Awakening that actually feels earned and relevant to the character at that. All because she wanted to help and connect with Toga in order to save her. And if Toga did die here, I wouldn't mind because I think it fits. She was able to live and die as her own person, making her own choices. All in all, it's a highlight of the arc and a great capstone for both of the characters.

Aoyama's Section: Why does Aoyama have so much focus on him? I don't dislike Aoyama, and I'm glad one of the more minor characters is getting attention in a way that feels relevant to who they are. I just don't think he really needed this much space to himself, having his own battlefield and major villain to fight, with little to no other focus on other characters. Having him stand up against All For One felt like more than enough of a final beat for his character arc. It was him acting in spite of his fears, facing down the scariest person in the entire series. Hagakure's presence bugs me here as well, since it just reeks of convivence. And man, giving out yet another Awakening? Were these not supposed to be rare? It's yet another example of an Awakening that barely feels any different from before and doesn't feel earned.

Toshinori Yagi vs All For One: Unlike a lot of fans, I wasn't as bothered by this part. On paper, Toshinori fighting All For One with a massive mecha suit kind of flies in the face of one of the core ideas of the series. That people without Quirks cannot be heroes. However, the story makes it clear that this is something that cannot stand up against All For One, requires all the resources of his decades of hero work, has decades of experience as the top hero, and he's only doing as well because he's fighting All For One because he's acting irrationally. My only reservation is that All Might is using parts inspired by the students. While I think these are cool, it seems like this is supposed to be his big moment as a teacher. And... I guess the story wants us to believe that. I don't know. It feels like Hori hasn't really put in enough work to have this be a satisfying payoff. He only really has two or so scenes involving the other students outside of Izuku. I believe he's a proper mentor to Izuku, sure, but as a real teacher for the whole class? Not really. Don't get me wrong, the idea and execution of it were fine, but the set-up needed more legwork.

Stain's "Moment": Yeah, this is something I can't forgive. Stain is such a major figure in My Hero Academia, both in and out of universe. He's the guy who changed the whole trajectory of the story and brought a whole new level of respect for the story. Hori brings him back to restore Toshinori's motivation and give them plans for All For One. And then he comes in for a big moment in the final fight. Only to be ragdolled, having accomplished nothing. There was no final moment of sacrifice, no heroic last stand. Just slapped aside and exploded. Not only does All For One's escaping feel like a mass convenience, just so happening to have a Quirk to push all the blood out of his body, but it's so disappointing for Stain. It feels like an afterthought. Like Hori remembered that Stain was around and threw him in to die. He doesn't even get a moment in the ghost realm. Come on, Hori. If you went through the trouble of having his Quirk stolen, why not do something more with it?

All For One's Backstory: Yeah, I still think this part of the story is hilarious. This is so over the top and dark that it comes full circle into being funny again. All For One's backstory feels like some edgy teenager fanfiction. Like he was born to a drug-addled mother, literally drained the life out of her to the point she died. He was nearly eaten by rats at birth, he was the real first Quirk user, he's been killing people since he was four years old. It was to the point that I thought All For One was lying about it to make himself seem cooler or more inhuman than he really was. But no, we're actually supposed to believe all of this and take it seriously. I really have to wonder what Hori was thinking with this. Is it supposed to show All For One as evil to the core? But doesn't that go against the idea that it's nurture over nature? Or maybe it's to show that the worst circumstances made the worst evil? Okay, then why is All For One so unapologetically evil, supposedly even before he was born?

Bakugou vs All For One: I find myself having very little to say about any of this. It's a big-ole fight scene with Bakugou and All For One. It doesn't feel like it really completes anything from Bakugou arc outside of his hang-up with All For One and All Might retiring. Yeah, I'm glad it got tied up and that Bakugou got to save Toshinori, but it hasn't felt all that relevant to his overall arc. Maybe I'm downplaying this a lot more than I should, but that's just how I see it. The only major hangup I have is with the whole "people wanting it bad enough changed the future for All Might." I chose to interpret this as more metaphorical than literal. Like everything that's motivating Bakugou is pushing him forward, or that all of the steps everyone took up to this point defied fate. Otherwise, we are getting into some stuff the series never talks about and never explains. At least this fight gave us the "Bakugou deals bonus damage to children" meme.

Dream Hawks: Okay, this isn't so much a real problem, but I feel like this is a big missed opportunity: why isn't Stain the one getting the vestiges to rebel? You know, the guy who had such focus and determination that he was able to ward off an entire squad of top heroes from attacking him with sheer force of will. The guy who ironically sparked a whole villain renaissance with his words about the rot at the core of the world of heroes. It'd give his death some purpose and give him one final amazing scene against All For One, giving him a chance to redeem himself after all the problems he caused the world with his dogma. Ironically, he'd be dying a hero and stopping one of the biggest threats to the world. But sure, give another scene to Hawks. It's not like he's been already been a heavy focus of the arc.

Izuku vs Tomura: We've been waiting for this fight for a while, and it did not disappoint me. Not only is the part where we finally get Tomura back, immediately making this fight far more enjoyable, but the fight itself is so cool. You can feel the struggle, exhaustion, and desperation in each of Izuku's panels. We get to see more of feral Izuku. Who doesn't want to see more of feral Izuku? What's better is that we actually get Izuku using some interesting strategies against Tomura, like pushing up the rocks to stop the spread of "Decay" while using it as cover to perform a counter attack. And having this be topped off with the sacrifice of "One For All" makes this all feel that much more harrowing of an experience, with Izuku piece and piece of himself just at a chance of victory. It's one of the few final fights of a series where I was actually worried about the main character.

Shared Dreamspace: This might just be my favorite moment in the whole arc. We get all the shared visions as our two protagonists begin to understand each other more. And for all of this talking, it never once tries to excuse Tomura for what he did. Even Tomura talks about how he doesn't regret what he's doing or why he's destroying everything. He's doing it all for himself and the League. And while Izuku can understand this, he can't condone it, and it doesn't excuse what Tomura did. It's a good way for both sides to get their points across in order to get some kind of resolution without feeling like it's breaking either of them. It's all about understanding and learning from each other, which is what this conflict has been all about. It's all so well done and pretty much exactly how I imagined a confrontation like this would go down between these two.

All For One's Return: Is it kind of frustrating that All For One has returned yet again? Sure. I can understand people getting sick and tired of him, now more than ever. However, I think it's explained well enough not to bother me, and ultimately, the only way for the story to have its cake and eat it as well. It's a clean way to remove Tomura from the story without having to dirty Izuku's hands. Tomura has made it pretty clear that he has zero intention of ever stopping, and redemption was not on the table for him. It also gives Izuku a final fight against All For One, who, while not as personal to Izuku, is the biggest evil in the series. On top of that, it fits with the idea of everyone coming together to be the greatest hero by getting their licks in on All For One. It's what the story has been pushing for the whole time: One For All fighting back against All For One.

Oboro, Aizawa, and Yamada: As much as I wanted to get excited about this part, it did feel woefully undercooked. Oboro's condition and Aizawa and Present Mic's reaction to it feel pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. They only get one chapter to hash things out, and it feels very rushed. Which is odd because it has some of the biggest impact on the arc itself, with Kurogiri teleporting everyone around and being the lynchpin in the two major paradigm shifts in the arc. It's Spinner's whole motivation for attacking the hospital, it removed Aizawa from the playing field at UA, and it ends up sending all of the doubles from the island to the fight in the forest. What we got was nice, especially Kurogiri saying he wants Tomura back when they are all fighting All For One, but sadly, it wasn't enough.

The Final Run-Up: Look, I am the biggest sucker for moments like this. Izuku is still standing in spite of losing both arms. Then everyone is coming out of the portals to the final fight, all firing out their attacks to go down. It's like Endgame, but actually thematically relevant to everyone coming together to beat the greatest threat to the world. And the part where all the good guys are helping the protagonist forward just so they can deliver that final blow. I can't help but feel hyped up as each of the other students and heroes fight back against All For One. We get All For One going out like a total punk. And we can share a final vision between Tomura and Izuku. I cannot say anything analytical or in-depth about this. I just think it hits all these different sweet spots in me while still ending things on a good note, and it brings me so much joy.

[erinoma9]

Problems with "The Search" Comic

Retconning Ursa's backstory

Some old lore about Ursa, before the comic came out.

Admittedly, this page conflates "royalty" with "nobility," which extends to Mai and Onji's page.

Contrast these excerpts to the Search. (SPOILERS AHEAD! And Long!)

"Born to Fire Nation royalty [nobility] and - raised as such."

Search! Ursa: Her family went into hiding after Roku's death. She grew up as a commoner in Hira'a - a small, remote 'backwater village' located on the far edge of the Fire Nation. Her father, Jinzuk worked as the town's magistrate, and her mother, Rina was a master herbalist. Her mother is the daughter of Avatar Roku and has his headpiece in her possession.

"She was the perfect match for Prince Ozai and soon became his wife"

Search! Ursa: Azulon and Ozai track down Avatar Roku's (supposedly remaining) descendants and possibly monitor them for months. They (forcibly) propose a union between Ursa and Ozai for eugenics purposes.

In a nutshell, her relation to Avatar Roku is enough to qualify her as the perfect match.

"There was a time when it probably wasn't such a bad marriage. I think they probably started okay. Certainly better than it ended up."

Search! Ursa: She didn't want to marry Ozai, she wanted to marry her one true love, Ikem but she didn't get much of a say. And come the wedding, Ozai drops a massive bombshell on her.

In short, it starts out as a bad marriage, to put it mildly.

Someone on TV tropes (Fridge Horror section. Be Warned!) posited that "started out okay" can mean anything. And that "okay" doesn't mean happy or willing.

To that I say, it's a massive stretch to claim this scene is equivalent to "started out okay." Okay is not another word for utterly miserable! Words similar to okay can range from alright, pleasant, acceptable or tolerable. So, "started out okay" and the conveniently ignored "better than it ended up" doesn't apply to the Search.

"She is a very sweet woman and a wonderful mother, but she is also very protective -- especially of her favorite child Zuko" ... "Ursa spent most of her time raising her children to be good Fire Nation citizens and the ideal royal family."

Search! Ursa: The comics intentionally or unintentionally avoid portraying Ursa as an imperialist but don't contradict that she taught Zuko and Azula Fire Nation Propaganda offscreen.

She didn't seem to care about being the "ideal royal" herself, privately at least.

For instance, she writes that infamous letter falsely citing Ikem as Zuko's father to spite Ozai among other reasons. Most damningly, she sees her life in the palace as "a life that [she] did not choose for herself," leading to the infamous memory wipe. Both examples have attracted critics, hence the "infamous" connotation, and arguably butcher her 'protective mother' characterisation.

Zuko Alone Ursa: Zuko. That's what moms are like. If you mess with their babies, humph, they're gonna bite you back! [Later on] Ursa: Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you. Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are. DoBS pt 2Ozai: My father, Fire Lord Azulon, had commanded me to do the unthinkable to you, my own son, and I was going to do it. Your mother found out and swore she would protect you at any cost. She knew I wanted the throne and she proposed a plan, a plan in which I would become Fire Lord and your life would be spared. [Later] Your mother did vicious, treasonous things that night. She knew the consequences and accepted them. For her treason, she was banished. "She (Ursa) kind of saved Zuko's life by doing something not very nice to Fire Lord Azulon" ~ Mike "Ursa mysteriously disappeared on the same night as Fire Lord Azulon's death. Some say that she was somehow involved in Fire Lord Azulon's death -- and that she did it to protect Zuko. But the truth is not known."

Search! Ursa: Despite these quotes stressing her role in Azulon's death and clearly implying that she murdered him, that role is given to Ozai. Instead, Search! Ursa merely makes the plan and a deadly poison, all because the writers didn't want her hands dirty.

Is it just me or is this scene so rushed? What happened to the "swore she would protect you at any cost" line?

Why does she assume she'll get to take her children, even though they are his heirs?

And then there's Ozai's response: he calls them, his collateral and has no problem referring to them as your children. He even threatens their lives, along with Ursa's, if she doesn’t keep her word.

Aside from how stupid it is for him to say that, it begs the question of why he didn't kill Ursa afterwards? He just lets her walk free when she's a loose end to him. Plot hole much!

So, Ursa's mum taught her how to make that poison - okay, in the vein of "what kind of mother forgets her children", what kind of mother teaches her daughter how to make an extremely deadly poison? Literally, no one talks about that!