#'if i call it a social construct that means i can ignore it'

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

we need to take away "is a social construct" because it's just not useful anymore

everything is a social construct, once upon a time we would call these things "customs" or "traditions" or "laws," and this is just how humans behave

[sweetpascal]

𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 — 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞

gif by: @pedropcl

pairing: perv!stepdad!joel x fem!reader

summary: your thoughts are now consumed by joel. you cannot function properly without him nearby.

warnings: MINORS DNI. BIG AGE GAP [18/52], dumbification, toxic attachments, joel is SO fucking manipulative, aftercare (very late), cuddle fingeriinnggg, slow making out, finger sucking, pussy pronouns, joel "just the tip" miller, bare pussy grinding, spit as lube cause he's a nasty man, joel is also a scary man

wc: 6.7k

notes: my depraved baddies, we're getting closer and closer to the enddddd. also, virginity is a social construct. i understand that someone can still "lose their virginity" from fingering, BUT THIS IS FICTION. IGNORE IT. AND ENJOY IT. PLEASE. 🥺🥺🥺

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There has never been a time in your life when you felt truly alone. You always had your close group of friends, with whom you spent time nearly every other day, having a great time. You also had social media to keep you busy during times of boredom. Regretting not making the most of those two makes you feel foolish. That's all you'll ever be; a foolish little girl. Joel was right. You're nothing without him. You need him. You need his guidance to navigate the harsh realities of the world. Losing your only two means of escape is forcing you to face revelations you're not ready for. You're not prepared for adulthood, not just yet. At this moment, you feel utterly alone.

Minutes pass as you shuffle on your feet behind Joel, gazing at the back of his head while he sits at the kitchen table. He was considerate enough to leave your door unlocked, granting you the liberty to wander around the house, yet ensuring the front and back doors remained closed and locked. "Can't trust you going out alone anymore," he had said to you earlier today. His reasoning was fair. You had acted recklessly, and now you're facing the consequences. You don't hold Joel responsible. You never did blame him for his decisions. If only you had heeded his advice from the beginning. Be a good girl.

"Uh, Daddy?" You softly call out to him, your voice meek and quiet like a little mouse. Joel barely turns his head, motioning with his finger for you to come closer. With shaky steps, you stand between his spread legs.

Joel's gaze lifts to meet yours, his hair disheveled from constantly running his fingers through it. A sense of satisfaction swells in his chest as he notices your nervousness around him. You struggle to maintain eye contact and can't help but flinch whenever his hand moves abruptly.

"You should be getting down on your knees when you address Daddy, babydoll. It's the only polite thing to do, don't you think?" He tuts at you softly, raising his brows expectantly. He just realized that he hasn't provided his girl with a list of rules to follow. Considering your innocent and unaware nature, he thinks that assigning such a significant task might be too overwhelming for you to handle all at once.

With wide eyes, you scramble to your knees in front of him, your hands placed on the ground between your knees. The positioning accidentally causes the straps of your dress to slide down your shoulders, just barely exposing your chest to Joel's predatory eyes.

"Attagirl," he murmurs, the backs of his knuckles lovingly stroking your jaw, his thumb just barely pressing into one of the finger shaped bruises. "Now, what did you want to ask me, sweetheart?"

The intensity of Joel's gaze makes the question die on your lips. His fingers continue to stroke your jaw gently, their warmth coaxing you into a state of calm. The anxieties that once troubled you are fading away, leaving only the desire to please him, to heed his words, to fulfill his wishes. Joel. Joel. Joel.

He can see your eyes go unfocused the more he keeps his hand connected to your bruised skin. A sick smirk plays on his lips. Seeing you immediately submit to him so easily excites him. To have you down on your knees before him, eyes wide and glassy, lips parted. There's a part of him that wonders why he loves this, this power he holds. Joel is a depraved man, one that feeds into that sick monster hidden beneath him. He never acted this way with your mom. He never even spanks her, let alone gets her to submit in such a way that makes him feel like a god.

The second your body started developing into the womanly figure you have now is what had caught his attention early on. Maybe it's because you looked so much like her in her teenage years, or because you're just so fucking innocent and pure. Either way, his attraction for your mom had long since faded away, and you were the next best thing he wanted to take and destroy.

"Sweetheart," he calls out, gently shaking your shoulder to recapture your attention. "Is there something you want to tell me?" His voice, coupled with the gesture, brings you back to the moment.

With a frantic blink, you refocus your eyes on Joel. He nods, signaling for you to speak, the slight twitch in his jaw betraying his growing impatience. As you shuffle on your knees, your backside presses into the heel of your feet. You attempt to conceal your grimace, yet the intense pain swiftly radiates. Tears gather in your eyes as the burning sensation and fuzziness become overpowering.

Sniffling softly, you say, "I-I was just w-wondering if... if you can, um, make my behind feel a little better?" The question was shy, and you didn't even want to look at him, for you think he's going to reject you.

Joel's grin broadens at the sight of the soft, dejected expression on your face, and as your shoulders slump and your head hangs low, you brace for his scolding for having asked him to do such a task. You deserve to feel the pain of last night's punishment. You don't deserve Joel's gentle hands massaging the sore spots, kissing and whispering sweet praises in your ears. You weren't a good girl, and you don't blame him for not treating you as such.

His voice was so sweet and cooing. "Yeah? You want Daddy to make the pain go away?" His thumb swipes across your bottom lip, your little pink tip just barely poking out to rub across the pad.

The saltiness of his skin has your mouth salivating. You suck his thumb further between your lip, jerking your head to a weak nod as you hum affirmatively. Joel hums as well, only deep in thought as he weighs his options. He could keep on with his heinous punishments, forcing you to plead for him to stop--it's such a dangerous game to play. Alternatively, he might be kind today and pamper you, lavishing you with affection that you feel you don't deserve, which could further endear him to your impressionable mind. As he looks into your eyes and sees the way you're gazing up at him, his thumb firmly tucked between those lips and your silky little tongue swirling around the tip, he chooses the latter.

"Get your butt upstairs and lie on your tummy while Daddy grabs a few things, okay, babydoll?"

The soft breeze of your ceiling fan emitted a chill throughout your body, albeit a pleasant one. Goosebumps erupted on your skin, almost soothing the heat radiating from your bruised backside. Lying on your stomach, you wait patiently, straining your ears for any sign of Joel, but silence is all that meets you. The anticipation of his arrival has you swallowing hard against your pillow. It's as if he's moving quietly and slowly on purpose, prolonging the moment to heighten your sense of anticipation.

This was how he played his sick games. He was the cat, and you were the mouse. He loves being the predator and you, his prey. And for some obscene reason, you love it too.

A small creak at the doorway made you tense for a moment, but you relaxed upon seeing Joel standing there, his large frame filling the doorway. In his hands were two things: a white cloth rag of some kind and a bottle of lotion. You shiver delightfully, knowing that in just a few minutes he was going to be taking care of you in the way you needed.

"Ain't you a peach," he grins and steps inside, using his foot to fully shut the door, officially trapping the both of you inside. Joel's grin widens when he sees just how marked your backside is, the welts swollen and skin broken, large bruises that are all types of hues of blue and purple. "Hmm... Now, that's what I like to see."

You don't respond, opting to stay silent as you curiously observe him from over your shoulder. He pats your hip with the back of his hand, wordlessly telling you to scoot over. Once you do so, Joel unbuttons his shirt, completely removing the offending clothing from his body and tossing it aside. His chest and stomach were now fully exposed.

In the light, with a clear mind, you finally have the chance to take in every inch of Joel. His skin was so tan, it almost blended between caramel and bronze. Dots of hair speckled his chest, a mix of dark brown and gray. Then, there's hair around his belly button before it trails down to disappear under the waistband of his jeans, the hair getting darker and thicker. His skin is a canvas of freckles and old scars, each one a silent story that tempts your curiosity. Questions about their origins linger on the tip of your tongue, yet they remain unasked, perhaps to be explored if alone time with him arises once more.

"Your head is in the clouds again, babydoll," Joel teases, his voice holding a light-heartedness to it, immediately easing your nerves. At the sound of your quiet giggle that you muffle in your pillow, he gets comfortable between your thighs, gently coaxing them to spread wider to accommodate his large size. "There we go," he whispers under his breath.

The hot rag in his hand is gently laid over your backside, the fabric big enough to cover both cheeks. The sudden feeling made you flinch and whine unpleasantly, one foot gently kicking to try to distract you from the pain. Joel hushes you softly, one of his hands sweetly rubbing up and down the back of your thighs.

"Just relax, babydoll," his voice was so soft and comforting. "Let Daddy take care of your pretty self." He applies light pressure to the hot rag, further soothing the sensitive, enflamed skin. Another whisper comes from above, a little less pained and a lot more relieved. "That feel good, baby?"

You let out a drowsy hum as you succumb to the sensation. There was a liquid heat pooling all around your lower half as the pain from your backside gradually melts into a dull ache. Joel glances down between your thighs, your pussy lips spreading open, labia and clit on display for him to see. There's a shine covering your untouched hole. The pearly slick, slowly, slowly, slowly sliding out of your hole and trailing down to cover your clit. There's a small flutter as your pussy clenches, just briefly. An ache in Joel's jaw and his mouth salivating reminds him that now is not the time to act on his impulse. As much as he wants to bury his face between those thighs, he knows he has to make sure that you're going to be working properly before he has his fun again.

When the rag gets cold, he removes it from your backside. The cold air bites into your skin, the sudden shock taking you by surprise. The sensation of pin pricks across your exposed skin causes you to squirm. Joel is aware that it's painful once more. Your soft whimpers of discomfort prompt a quiet chuckle from him.

He grabs the bottle of lotions and squirts a generous amount into the palm of his hand. "Just a second, babydoll," he tells you softly, coaxing you to lay flat on your tummy again. You wait for a few seconds, and then you feel it.

There's a gooey warmth that covers both of your cheeks. It makes your eyes flutter shut. Then, Joel's hands start to massage your tender flesh, gently rubbing and smoothing out the aches. The pressure was so good, and the weight of his hands on your ass allowed your brain to slowly turn into mush.

He continues massaging your cheeks, even going as far as to "accidentally" swipe his thumb against your puckered hole. The action caused you to jolt and gasp, the sound of his laughter making your cheeks warm. When the ache was now dulled into a pleasant numbness, you stretched out your limbs like a little kitty in the sunlight, a soft hum vibrating into the pillow. You look over your shoulder and watch as Joel wipes his hands clean with the damp rag he had used. Seeing his bare chest has you biting down on your bottom lip.

"Uh... Daddy?" There was hesitation in the way you spoke. The idea occurred to you the second Joel had removed his shirt. The sight of your stepdad in your bedroom, clad in just his jeans, touching you in such a way was exciting. Warmth pooled in your stomach, a certain liquid heat that was hard to ignore.

Joel gazes at you with expectation, his eyebrows lifted as he catches the hesitant expression on your face. It seems like you're eager to ask him something, yet you're apprehensive about his reaction. Before this ambiguous relationship began, you'd always rush over to him, words spilling out rapidly to pose questions without a second thought. He was charmed by it. Your eyes sparkled with innocent curiosity, hanging on his every word, which he thought was incredibly cute. However, given his recent behavior, you've become more cautious about your inquiries, wanting to ensure they're significant.

"Can... Can we kiss, like how we did last time?"

The surprise on his face made you giggle. He wasn't expecting you to ask for something like that, let alone think of the naughty stuff he's already done with you at the beginning of the week. Joel clears his throat and trails his eyes over your nude backside, zeroing in on your bare pussy, almost screaming for him to touch and lick up. When he looks back up at you from where you lay against the pillow, your bottom lip tucked underneath your top teeth and your messy hair, he finds himself nodding.

When he props himself up against your pillows, you immediately clamber onto his chest, one leg resting between his legs while your other is propped up and slung over his hip. With your head resting comfortably on his shoulder, Joel rests one arm behind your back, curling it to cup your jaw from behind. Your heart is facing as you get close to his face. Eyes half-lidded and lips parted, you're the one that makes the first move.

When your lips meet, it's like stars bursting behind your eyelids. So soft, so inviting. Joel's lips are as addictive as an expensive drug. You crave their touch every second, every minute, every day.

His tongue enters your mouth and you're quick to eagerly suck it between your lips. He groans huskily and pulls his tongue away before messily kissing you. The hand that rests on your hip slowly trails down and around the back of your thigh before the tips of his fingers rest along your labia. Then, he starts rubbing up and down, further spreading the wetness that leaks out of your empty pussy. He touches everywhere. Your swollen clit, puffy labia, bare pussy lips, and your fluttering hole are left untouched.

You're nibbling on his bottom lip, eagerly shoving your tongue sloppily into his tongue. Joel groans at the taste of your mixed saliva. To have you in his arms like this, naked and so very vulnerable, it was driving him fucking insane. Your hips are shifting and bucking towards his hand, but each time his fingers rub deeper, he pulls them away. When he also pulls his lips from yours, you chase them with a desperate whimper.

"Patience, babydoll," he mutters, glancing down at the pleasure-drunk expression on your face. "Let Daddy have some fun." Joel continues smearing your wetness all over. The messy sounds of your slick being rubbed with his long, thick fingers has you blushing fiercely with embarrassment--embarrassed at the fact that he's touching you like this, probably in the same way he's touched your mom in the past. It's so dirty and naughty.

Your hand gently pets at his scruffy jaw, lashes fluttering so prettily like a butterfly's wings. Lips parted, you slowly and gently kissed him again. This kiss, however, was a lot different than the others. There was a tenderness that Joel got lost in. It made his heart skip a beat, like actually skip a beat. You're so sure he can feel your heart racing as well. Languid kissing was now your favorite thing with him. The soft, wet smacking sounds of your lips connecting and disconnecting has you whimpering delicately.

Joel's fingers now focus on your fluttering pussy hole, slick dripping out non-stop, further adding to the stickiness on his finger pads. The hand holding your jaw from behind your head tightens to pull you away.

"I'm goin' to put a finger inside, okay, baby? Daddy's goin' to make that little pussy feel so good," he whispers needily against your wet lips. When you protest, he shushes you and kisses your lips repeatedly. "Be quiet while Daddy has his fun."

Very carefully, he pushes his middle finger inside your pussy, shushing you again when you let out a squeak and try to pull your hips away. Joel's fingers follow your movements, only deepening each time you try to move. He slowly fucks his fingers inside your pussy, the tight, wet heat making his dick thicken in his jeans. The sloppy sounds of your slick, coupled with your weak whimpers has him growling lowly. He retracts his finger and goes back to rubbing your pussy in up-and-down movements again, only this time he's paying more attention to your needy clit.

"Tha' feel good, honey?" He murmurs sweetly against your lips, kissing you once, twice, three times before glancing down at you. With a shaky nod, you tell him in that pretty voice yes, yes, feels s'good. "Mhm."

Your hips are barely grinding against his thick bulge as if they have a mind of their own. There's a neediness in the way you mouth at his neck, your tongue and teeth mapping every inch that you can reach. With your focus now on something else, Joel takes this opportunity to move his hand from your weeping cunt and bring it between your bodies to slyly unbutton and unzip his jeans. He slowly pulls them down, leaning his head back down to capture your lips in another syrupy slow kiss. His cock springs out of his jeans and rests above the waistband of his boxers.

You're not paying attention to what he's doing--so focused on his lips, his warm skin, his chest, his tongue, his scent, just Joel. Daddy. Daddy.

With your attention on his mouth, Joel blindly grips the base of his cock and brings the tip to your opening. He glides the engorged tip up and around your fluttering hole, tapping it lewdly and crudely against it as wet smacking sounds filling the air. Your eyes fly open, and your body seizes as you grab onto his burly forearm.

"Daddy, no! I'm not ready yet!" You practically cry out, eyes wide and frazzled as you frantically shake your head. You've seen the size of Joel. The man is packing. He's fucking massive. And you know you're not ready to take all of him. You can't imagine the pain of being split open by something so long and so thick.

Joel hushes you sweetly, removing his hand from his thick base to tenderly grab a hold of your hip again. "Jus' grind tha' pussy on Daddy for a little bit, baby. Ssshh... you can do tha' for me, right?" His hips start to slowly grind his dick between your pussy lips, your labia spreading open and your clit catching his frenulum. "You wanna be a good girl for me, right? You wanna be punished again, babydoll? Hm? That what you want?"

Feeble whimpers leave your swollen lips at the thought of Joel further punishing you, beating your backside black and blue again. Resting back onto his chest, you shyly wiggle your hips until the position is comfortable enough for you to grind your hips forward and back. Joel grins and cups the back of your thigh to lift it higher on his waist. The feeling of his cock, now covered in your wetness and gliding easily between your pussy lips, has you feeling so tingly and warm down there. It was a new sensation. Getting to feel the thick vein that stretches from the base all the way to his tip was surreal.

"It... It feels... good," you whisper against his scruffy jaw, lips parted next to his chin to let out heavy breaths as the warmth spreads. "I-I like it."

Joel's deep chuckle reached your ears. "Daddy knows best, babydoll," he tells you, his hips grinding a little harder, so his tip nudges the hood of your clit to fully expose the sensitive nerve. "Daddy knows what's good for you, honey." His hand tightens on your jaw, fingers squeezing your cheeks to part your lips. "You're jus' my little girl that don't know any better, ain't you? Hm? Are you my dumb babygirl?"

The kiss he gives you is filthy. Your hushed whines are muffled as his tongue fights against yours. The liquid heat burns bigger and stronger, spreading all throughout your lower half, down to the tips of your toes and back up again. Your cunt is fluttering wildly. You feel the same sensation as when Joel ate your pussy. He knows it's going to happen. He can tell in the way your whines get more high-pitched and your hips stutter against his wet cock.

When he pulls away, you chase after him again, one hand desperately grabbing the back of his neck to pull him back down. No, no, no, please, don't go, don't leave me. Eyes filled with tears, you weakly beg him, "Da-Daddy, p-please don't... d-don't stop."

As Joel pulls away, the panic clear as day in your eyes has his heart thudding faster. Oh, you poor girl. So desperate to keep him close by. It was an adorable sight, seeing your eyes filled with thick tears as you beg him, over and over again to please, don't leave me. But he hushes you softly, gripping your jaw tighter and pressing into the bruises. His free hand comes up to his lips where he spits a thick wad of saliva in his palm. His hand goes back down between your bodies to coat his cock in his spit, some of it dripping down his heavy balls.

"Can I put the tip inside your little pussy, baby?" Joel breathlessly asks against your swollen lips, pressing a tender kiss before repeating the question again. "Can Daddy put the tip inside? Hm?"

He grinds his cock up and down your pussy again, the added slickness of his spit creating this disgusting, sopping noise. You start protesting as he notches his thick tip at your wet entrance. Grabbing at his forearm once again, you try your best to keep him from pushing it inside.

Shaking your head frantically, you tell him again, weakly, "I-I'm not ready yet, Daddy!"

Joel shuts you up by biting down roughly on your bottom lip, breaking the skin and licking away the blood that dots the pink flesh. With your blood on his tongue, that only fuels the animalistic need within him to fucking split you open.

"It's just the tip, babydoll," he tells you again, his voice deep, gravelly, wrecked. "You can take it, honey. C'mon. You can... take it." Ignoring your crying protests, he slowly pushed his hips up to slide his tip inside your pussy for the first time. He groans heavily against your mouth, sucking your bloody bottom lip between his own and licking the redness away. "Fuuuuuck."

The burn was nearly excruciating. Having something so thick and wide inside your virgin pussy has your breath catching in your throat. To know that Joel wants to put every single inch of himself deep inside is terrifying. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. No, no, no.

"See? It ain't so bad, huh?" Joel's grin is sick and wide as he feels your hole fluttering wildly around his tip. He gently starts to push his hips in and out, slowly fucking his tip into your cunt. "She's jus' suckin' me right in, ain't she? Fuuuck, baby. She's jus' drivin' me fuckin' crazy." His accent was getting gradually thicker and almost incoherent. His heart is racing over a hundred beats per minute under your shaky palm.

You're trying to breathe in and out deeply to not focus on the uncomfortable pain. The stretch was slowly setting to a numbness. The tip of Joel's cock keeps pressing against a spot beneath your pubic bone, giving you the feeling of tingles but more intense. Joel's smile gets much wider when your body relaxes against his chest, your nose pressing into his neck beneath his ear to let out hushed moans that you're trying so hard to keep silent.

"There we go," he hums deeply. "She jus' needed time to get used to Daddy's dick, hm?" The way he's talking to you and referencing your pussy has you melting into a puddle. It's all so intense and overwhelming--you never want it to end. "Jus' you wait 'til Daddy gets so deep inside of her." He accentuated the word by nudging just an inch deeper inside your pussy, forcing a choked groan from your drooling lips.

Joel's hand is still curled around the base, just below his tip. He can feel the coil tightening in the pit of his stomach as his balls draw tighter. He's panting heavily against your forehead, the slick noises just adding to the liquid heat spreading along his large body. Fuck, he was going to cum just like this, his tip lodged inside his stepdaughter's tight, virgin cunt. A sick, old man he is--defiling his wife's daughter and enjoying the depravity. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Fuck," Joel growls, his nostrils flaring, jaw clenching, and teeth baring as he grips his base tightly and yanks his hips away. He slots his cock between your ass cheeks and strokes his hand up and down hastily, your bruised cheeks jiggling from his fist meeting the flesh repeatedly. The sight has his toes curling. The drowsy whimper you release in his ear and the fucking scent of your pussy that he can smell all the way up from where he lay has his cock throbbing. "Daddy's cummin', babydoll. Oh, f-fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuck."

His cum shoots out from between your ass cheeks, thick ropes of white painting your bruises and cute little back dimples, even going so far to reach up your spine and almost landing in your hair. He just won't stop cumming. It's going and going. Joel's entire body is trembling as he jerks the tip, forcing out the last few dribbles of his cum onto your puckered hole.

You felt his spend splattering across your skin, and you wiggle impatiently in his hold, wishing you could've seen it with your own eyes if you weren't so tucked against his neck. Joel lets out a heavy, shaky breath. His beautifully hooked nose brushes against yours, coaxing you to lift your head.

He brings his cum-covered fingers to your lips, the tips rubbing lovingly across the bottom. Maintaining eye contact, you part them and let Joel slowly push his fingers into your mouth. The taste of his cum on your tongue was unlike anything you've ever tasted. It was a masculine, heavy taste, which perfectly accentuates who Joel Miller is. Your eyes flutter shut as you eagerly bring in a third finger, your lips stretched wide around his thick fingers.

"Attagirl," Joel huskily mumbles. "Jus' like that."

You and Joel have fallen into a steady routine. There's an unspoken agreement of where your place is. He can shoot you a specific look and you immediately know what he's trying to say. Joel's an easy man to read, at least to you. There have been many instances where you overheard him and your mom arguing about him being so closed off. But with you, he's so natural at showing you multiple sides of him. You don't mind, really.

As evening falls, Joel is at the stove preparing dinner for both of you. Although it's not your preferred meal, his word is final--what he says, goes. You've learned not to refuse what he's offered so far. Standing near him, you observe his actions with keen interest. Joel often glances back to ensure you're there. You trail behind him, following his every step without question, much like a lost puppy would. Even when he steps into the bathroom, you find yourself waiting right outside the door for him to emerge. It was a weird feeling; a fear you never knew you had within you when it came to your stepdad. You feel as though if he leaves for just a split second, he's never going to come back. And you'll be here lost, alone.

"Dinner time, sweetheart," Joel declares, snapping you out of your daydream. As you dash to the table, he halts you with a hand on your arm. "Whoa, slow down there, speed racer." Chagrined by his gentle chiding, you offer a subdued apology.

As Joel takes a seat at the table, you attempt to follow suit, but he loudly tuts and extends a hand to halt you. Grasping your plate, he sets it down beside his feet. His expression leaves no space for objections. Similar to the previous day, you are left without utensils to eat with. Wordlessly, you get down onto your knees and wait for him to tell you when it's okay to start eating. Joel starts eating his meal pathetically slowly. He's doing it on purpose--you know he's doing it on purpose. He loves making you squirm. He loves to draw it out longer than it's supposed to--just an added perk to his game.

When your stomach starts grumbling loudly, you look up at him with wide, pleading eyes. Joel barely casts you a glance. He keeps eating his meal, even going as far as to hum loudly as the savoring flavors explode on his tongue. When he has just a few bites left, knowing that your food is now cold, he looks down and gives you a single nod.

Immediately, you bow your head to your plate and begin to hastily mop up your meal. It's untidy and careless, yet it doesn't bother you. You're uncertain when Joel might surprise you again, preventing or restricting your eating. As you take each bite, you watch for a sign from him to cease. Looking up, you notice his focus is solely on his own meal, methodically chewing. Sensing your gaze, he commands without glancing your way, "Eat your damn food before I take it away." With a strained whimper, you comply.

Silence stretches through the air as you both eat. You refrain from mentioning to Joel that your stomach is cramping from eating too quickly, not wanting to seem ungrateful for the meal he prepared with care. When he looks at you, he notices the gradual slowing of your jaw as you struggle to swallow. It's becoming apparent to him that feeding you just once a day is taking its toll.

Suddenly, a series of knocks sounded at the door—five urgent, frantic raps. Panic gripped you, shoulders tightening and jaw clenching as you exchanged a fearful glance with Joel. His brows knitted together, and he quickly wiped his hands and mouth with the napkin.

He points down at you, "You stay right here, and don't make a peep. Understood?"

He doesn't wait for an answer before forcefully pushing back his chair, the legs scraping loudly against the wooden floor. You wince and watch anxiously as he stomps over to the door and peers through the peephole.

Joel's jaw clenches upon recognizing the visitor. Muttering, "Son of a bitch," he pulls the door open, one hand gripping the doorknob while the other rests atop the doorframe. There on the porch stands your lanky guy friend, the one you visited the lake with. "Can I help you?" he asks, his tone sharp and unwelcoming.

Your friend shifts nervously, taken aback by Joel answering the door. He softly clears his throat, attempting to peer over Joel's shoulder, but Joel moves nearer to the doorway, narrowing the gap on his side.

"I was wondering if your stepdaughter is home?" he stammers, avoiding eye contact with Joel. "She hasn't been answering her phone, and our friends are really worried," he adds, while Joel feels a sense of satisfaction from the fear he perceives in the boy's demeanor.

"She's grounded," Joel says, his tone getting colder when the boy tries, yet again, to look over his shoulder. "Now, I suggest you turn your ass around and get the fuck off my porch."

Your friend's eyes widen, and he takes a staggered step back at Joel's violently dark tone. "The fuck is your problem, man?!"

From within the house, the volume of your friend's voice escalates, almost to a shout at Joel. You observe Joel's hand clench around the doorknob, and it's surprising that it remains intact under his grasp.

He can't understand what overtakes him; perhaps it's knowing you're mere feet away, or maybe it's because the kid has witnessed things about you he disapproves of. However, the only thing Joel is aware of is the white-hot rage engulfing him. You watch as he storms out and slams the door with such force that the vibration is felt on the ground where you kneel.

Outside, Joel's hands clench the collar of the boy's shirt, likely tearing the fabric with his sheer strength. He thrusts him against the porch post, almost splintering the wood and the boy's skull with the impact. Joel leans in, his shoulders rising and falling, emitting a low growl from his throat. The boy's whimpers are muffled as Joel's knuckles press into his windpipe.

"Listen to me, and you listen good," Joel leans in close, his voice low and dangerous. "If you so much as talk to her again, look at her, touch her, or even think about her, I'll have you wishin' you were never born." Your friend's toes are barely skimming the ground as Joel has him literally lifted up against the wooden post. His hands are frantically grabbing Joel's forearms, feet weakly kicking. The man doesn't budge--he only presses harder. "If you come back to my house to bother my girl one more time, I will fuckin' kill you." He gravely whispers the last threat and releases his hands, watching as your friend pathetically falls to the ground onto his hands and knees, coughing and gasping for air as he grabs his throat. "Now, go on. Get."

Joel remains on the porch, his fists clenched at his sides, shoulders rising and falling with each heavy breath. His gaze is fixed on your friend as he dashes away and fumbles into his meager Honda Civic. Even after the vehicle disappears down the road, Joel is motionless. The fury within him, burning in his chest and gut, has not subsided; it has only grown stronger.

Within the house, silence prevails. A single loud thump disrupts the quiet, followed by stillness. You pause for a moment, the sound of your own heartbeat the only noise. The urge to call out to Joel is strong, but the words are stuck in your throat. Anxiety creeps back into your chest, gnawing at your heart and corroding your veins. Did Joel leave? Where is he? Where did he go? Please, come back. Daddy, don't leave. Where are you? Please, please, come back. Don't leave me here alone. They're going to get me. Please. Oh, God. He's gone. He's never coming back.

White noise fills the cracks in Joel's mind. He sits on the porch swing hunched over, both elbows resting on his knees as he twiddles with his gold wedding band. His knee bounces up and down in quick succession. Someone had gotten too close to his home--to his special girl. The lanky fucking kid. Joel's hands clench into tight fists, just begging to slam them into your friend's face over and over until he's a mangled, unrecognizable pile of flesh and broken bones.

He's uncertain of the time he's spent out here; it might have been minutes or perhaps an hour. Time mattered little to him. His thoughts were consumed by you, his little girl. In his eyes, no one could match what he has provided for you, and he believes you would agree. Joel is confident in his knowledge, convinced that you belong to him. He sees himself as your destined protector, even if his hands were metaphorically elongated like a beast with monstrous nails ready to strike.

You belonged to Joel Miller, whether you knew it or not.

As the streetlights flicker on, he realizes it's time to head back inside. The neighborhood is winding down for the evening. A sudden memory jolts Joel; he had left you alone in the house. Leaping from his seat, he flings the door open, then slams it shut, securing both the bottom and top locks. Turning towards the kitchen, he freezes upon spotting you—a mere few feet away, curled up in a fetal position on the floor, whimpering and trembling.

"Babydoll," Joel tuts and carefully walks around you to bend down, tenderly pushing your hair from your face and catching sight of your tear-filled eyes. "Did I tell you to move? Hm?"

The sound of his voice was like a lifeline to your heart—his words were the breath you needed, and you felt as if you were at death's door. In a rush, you stood and threw your arms around his shoulders, almost toppling both of you to the ground. Tears streamed down your face, and sobs of distress were just barely restrained the moment his body pressed against yours.

Crying out to him, "Y-You left me! You l-left me a-alone! I thought... I thought you weren't coming back! The bad people were gonna t-take me away from you!" Trying to bury yourself deeper in his neck, you silently begged for Joel to take you somewhere, far away from here.

It was naive to believe you could manage alone. At your current age, it's only a matter of time before your mom discusses the prospect of moving out. Yet now, the mere idea of being apart from Joel triggers a wave of panic. How can you explain to your mom that without him, you feel incomplete? She might find it appalling. It wasn't difficult to keep your relationship with Joel a secret, but the threat of being pushed out of the house makes you wonder if it's worth it.

"I-I don't think I can do this anymore, Joel," you wept, sniffling and breathing heavily in his shoulder, fingers desperately grabbing at the fabric of his t-shirt to keep him close when he shifts an inch or two away. "I can't... I can't be away from you. I can't th-think, I can't function, I can't breathe w-without you, Daddy!"

There it was, the answer he's been waiting for. Hook, line, sinker. Joel has damaged you so severely to where you need to be around him or else you'll go crazy. This is what he was waiting for, fucking aching for. So young, so innocent, so pure. Now tainted by his predatory hands, bruised and marked by his false promises and sick fantasies. This is a dream come true. His wedding band almost burns through your skin as you feel the cold metal on your bare shoulder.

"Oh, my sweet babydoll," he coos in your ear, that honeyed tone of his easing your worries.

If only you understood his thoughts about you, his desires from you. Convincing your mind that this relationship is normal, making you believe that this is true love—you poor, poor girl.

Joel continues, his voice gradually turning dark as his hands tighten around your shoulders, nails digging crescents into your delicate skin, "This is just the beginning."

taglist:

@yesjazzywazzylove-blog ; @blueberrypancakesworld ; @heyhihello-4771 ; @codenamekitten ; @chamepagnessimo ; @idioticcatss ; @takochansugoi ; @zjasminelouvre3 ; @natalieispunk ; @koshkaj-blog ; @giowritess ; @beardropascal ; @pascaltesfaye ; @callmeafra ; @nexy00 ; @josephquinnswhore ; @baronessvonglitter ; @peelieblue ; @paanchusblog ; @b3bybunny ; @sugadolly ; @ktluvsmen ; @elliesr1fle ; @taeslarityy ; @yourgirljasmin444 ; @laloestoyvivo ; @aquanatalie ; @vickie5446 ; @cowboybootjoel ; @olicity-boo ; @ashleyfilm ; @withakindheartx ; @puduvallee ; @psychoenergy ; @chuutzuyu ; @cockykookiee

[pawberri]

thank you for all the posts you've made, your takes are always so refreshing to hear.

I want to know your thoughts (if it's okay with you, you can also totally ignore this) about all the "men hate" I see online. like I (poc transmasc non-passing) get it, there are genuine societal gender problems. transmisogyny does exist-women face more challenges than men do. but it genuinely hurts when women, especially trans women, think it's funny/quirky to call men trash or say they want all men dead or whatever. idk I just am hoping someone else understands, you know?

There's a lot of nuances to this question. First, I just want to caution against focusing too much on trans girls as the perpetrators of this. A lot of the asks I get from trans men seem to really fixate on trans women as the perpetrators of hard line gender essentialism. I really think trans girls are not the main people we should be focusing on here. If a trans woman is saying this stuff, take the time to analyze her ideology outside of that pithy comment and consider how much trauma and how little power she has in the world. That said, trans women are affected by this kind of ideology just like us, and they rarely have the power to wield it against others in the way cis people can. I know it hurts to feel isolated by your own community, but that kinda gets into my second point.

Part of dealing with this is learning an impulse progressive cishet dude have had to get used to over the decade. Sometimes, "men are trash" or even "kill all men" are not literal phrases. They are things women say when they're in the throes of trauma to vent their frustration. "Men are trash" in particular is generally pretty lighthearted and used to complain when you have a bad date or something. You have to get used to analyzing what someone actually means and airing on the side of empathy. You, as a man, are the one with some amount of systemic power over that woman, so you are the one who needs to prove you are dedicated to not being a misogynist. The same thing happens when my friends say they hate white people. I have to assume they don't hate me given that I'm their friend, but that I still have some of the negative traits of whiteness. I need to care enough to be a good friend by being anti-racist and checking myself on my behavior. I need to be willing to prioritize their comfort over mine. That includes not becoming this meme:

Now that that's established, there ARE times when "all men are evil and should die" is an actual ideology. It's an ideology that hurts tons of minority groups before it hurts the most powerful, but it's also not really great if we assume it only hurts cishet white guys. Following it to its logical conclusion, it just proposes a reversal of oppression dynamics. This gender essentialism is a key part of radical feminism, trans exclusionary or not, but it leaks out of that community to general feminism all the time.

As a young person on Tumblr and Twitter, this deeply affected me. I internalized the idea that you can "just be a girl." It was repeated by some trans girls, but also a LOT of TME people. It was framed as trans inclusive, but it's trans inclusive in the way "political lesbianism" is lesbian positive. It posits gender as a moral choice that is completely up to the individual and unrelated to biology. It's the lazy version of "gender is a social construct." I felt sick and disgusting for wanting to be a boy because tons of well-meaning friends of mine had made it clear that "being a boy" was a choice, and it was the wrong one. "Boy" was a social category that could and should eventually be eradicated. Trans women were conditionally supported because they, in theory, made this future possible. This didn't amount to actual support, of course. It was an ideology mostly spread by afab queer people that mostly benefited afab queer people. There were a few trans girls who spread it, maybe some due to genuinely believing in the ideology and some due to social pressure, but there were also a lot of people straight-up grifting as trans girls who used this thinking to feel powerful in a niche community of teens. Remember fucking Yandere Bitch Club???

At a certain point, I genuinely thought of being a man as an unambiguous moral failing, and I lashed out at out trans men because of it. I wanted to feel powerful, and here was a type of man in my community I could shame and exclude. I still feel bad for making a bunch of ~girls only~ stuff in HS that excluded the one out trans dude at our school, my friend, because he was just a ~binary man~ and leaving him with no friends and no community. I treated transphobia like it wasn't a real oppression on its own and, in doing so, perpetuated transphobia. It happens a lot.

I wasn't really able to accept that there was nuance to the concept of manhood until I read this article while struggling to accept my own gender:

This is a pretty seminal piece of writing. It has its flaws, of course, but the empathy and intersectionality it highlights was life-changing. It also shows that this kind of thinking is largely perpetuated by TME people and hurts trans women greatly.

Gender essentialism is a bad ideology, it's a transphobic, transmisogynist, racist, etc etc ideology. It's literally essential to patriarchy. But it's also very easy to repackage into leftism and easy to dogwhistle. As a result, it's natural to be hesitant when you see someone saying they hate all men, but you have to tread extremely lightly and actually care what they're attempting to express. Because, yeah, men as a social class still hold power over women. They still have reason to fear and hate men.

I'm writing a comic about this stuff, actually, so look out for it in the future..........

[shveris]

incorrect quotes collection, part 3

today i bring you: things that definitely happened in the canon (trust me i'm gege's pc)

part 1 part 2

megumi: any room can be a panic room if you’d just give me a fucking second

sukuna, during the heian period: i was born for politics. i have great hair and i love lying

noritoshi: poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses

miwa: this katana is actually a magic wand

momo: meet me in the inageya parking lot for a wizard duel

mai: *cocks gun* magic missile

kokichi: what the fuck is wrong with you people

yuuji: do you guys hear something?

sukuna: i hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up

satoru: what does 'take out' mean?

shoko: murder

haibara: dating

nanami: food

suguru: it can mean all three if you’re not a coward

shoko, on the phone with suguru: they’re in the kitchen again

satoru, in the background: “beat 3 eggs”… in what? hand to hand combat?

haibara, in the background: must be since nanami banned technique usage in the kitchen last thursday, remember?

suguru: gET THEM OUT OF THERE

megumi: goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out yuuji’s birthday invitations

maki: well, what are they supposed to say

megumi: “yuuji’s birthday”

panda: what do they say instead?

megumi: “yuuji's bi”

toge:

nobara: works out either way

sukuna: do you prefer gendered terms?

yuuji: i guess so

sukuna: fuck you

yuuji: where was the gendered term?

sukuna: in your mom

yuuji:

yuuji: my mom got dicked down by your twin which you ate in the womb

sukuna:

satoru: goodness me, it’s the perfect day for our hiking trip! bless mother nature

megumi, out of breath: mother nature is a WHORE

yuuji: what’s up guys? i’m back

megumi: what the- you can’t be here. you’re dead. i literally saw you die

sukuna: death is a social construct

satoru: died and came back as a cowboy, i call that reintarnation

nobara: wow, i don’t even get the joke but it sounds funny

megumi: that’s nOT. THE. FUCKING. POINT.

nobara: what the fuck yuuji, what are you doing here!?

yuuji: i missed you guys!

megumi: you just survived a car crash

nobara: the doctors said you have internal bleeding

yuuji: yeah, and? isn’t that where blood’s supposed to be?

megumi: i need to sit down…

these two are how yuuji's comeback should've went...

shoko: yeah, i'll smoke a joint tonight, but let's not get too crazy

*4 hours forward to shoko, suguru and satoru getting arrested for blocking the main road in large traffic cone costumes*

nobara: the only thing i'm guilty of is being gorgeous… and also assault with a hammer

satoru, on the night of the war delcaration: suguru, i’m sorry. i can’t keep seeing you anymore

suguru: no shit, you’re always wearing that blindfold

satoru: suguru… no…

nanami: gojo, we have a problem

satoru: what, the fire?

nanami: no, the- wait, what fire?

satoru: oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting

shoko: that was a joke. say ha

nanami: ha

shoko: now do it again

nanami: ha

shoko: congratulations, you are officially the life of the party

satoru: i would let you ruin my life

suguru: sorry, i’m busy ruining my own. you’ll have to wait

satoru, turning to suguru: my dick stopped breathing. it’s in desperate need of cpr

suguru: you’re in desperate need of a beating

shoko: or a lobotomy

suguru: both

shoko: if the beating is hard enough, it’ll count as a lobotomy

satoru: i always knew you guys were homophobic

satoru: none of those words are in the bible

shoko: psalm 119:105. “and jesus said unto his followers, should a manlet incel attempt to mansplain the blockchain to a girlboss, may she waste his time and yassify his blorbos”

suguru: he did not fucking say that

megumi: i taught my dog a new trick *throws ball* fetch!

dog: *just stands there*

noabara: he didn’t do it

megumi: that's because i taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself

suguru: i’d kill someone if you asked me to

satoru: i’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if i didn’t ask you to

megumi: if bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why did my dad sell me to the zen'in clan?

nobara: i thought i was going to have to yell at you, but now i think i should hug you

sukuna, on yuuji's cheek: the real secret to immortality? not dying. you want to be immortal? okay, that’s easy. just don’t die. that’s it. refuse to die. there you go.

yuuji: but how-

sukuna, ignoring him: “but how” you may ask. well, easy. just don’t do it. refuse to. say “no, fuck you”

nobara: i'm not creepy

nobara: i'm petty

nobara: there's a difference, ya know

waiter: what would you like?

yuuji: a milkshake with two straws

megumi: *blushes*

yuuji: *puts both straws in his mouth* watch how fast i can drink this!

haibara: ieri-san, is that my mug you’re drinking out of?

shoko: no, it’s mine

haibara: it… looks just like the one i have…

shoko: you don’t have one like this anymore

megumi: i'm a witch. i mixed some herbs and crystals together and now all my shikigami know the f-word

nobara: which one?

megumi: what do you mean?

nobara: there's more than one f-word

yuuji, entring the room: you talkin' 'bout faggots?

megumi: why would we talk about cigarettes?

sukuna: i'll offer you some friendly advice-

yuuji: i don't want your advice

sukuna: well, then consider it unfriendly advice

jjk manga ends in 30 days which means i'm gonna nap on the highway after that last chapter drops :muscle:

[lemonhemlock]

i get what you’re saying but i get what dany stans are saying too, what is the difference between dany taking back kl and sansa taking back winterfell? at the end of the day, monarchy sucks and none of these characters are truly "worthy"

I approached this topic more in-depth here and here.

The difference between Dany taking back King's Landing and Sansa taking back Winterfell lies in the construction of legitimacy. When engaging with medieval fantasy, rejecting its political framework and ignoring its limitations in absorbing more egalitarian ideology (and the socio-technological constraints that inform those political/philosophical limitations) is going to prove a fruitless pursuit. Westeros is roughly based on feudal Europe and has a recognizable European political thought inheritance and recognizable medieval technology and means, so I think it would be reasonable to employ political philosophy that could be plausibly applied during the period from which it takes inspiration.

~unnecessarily long essay no one asked for below~

In this regard, what makes for a "worthy" ruler in medieval times might differ with the passage of centuries, as socio-political practices transform. Which is why I feel like the validity of monarchy as a form of government was never truly under question in this setting, even though it has certainly been criticised and points have been made about social injustices arising from wealth disparities and the segregation of social spheres (I hesitate to call them social classes as I don't think the Westerosi have developed class consciousness yet).

I think that this is ultimately an element of disappointment for some readers, who are trying to project onto the text something that is not there, instead of switching to progressive fiction that addresses their concerns and presents alternative political systems. What I mean to say is that dismissing all types of monarchy as illegitimate is not useful within the text, as it renders all differences between the characters null & ignores the entire historical evolution of the concept of legitimacy. So you end up with takes like "it doesn't really matter who sits the throne". It matters very much to Martin, because that is the type of story he is trying to tell, that's... the entire point of the series. He is a boomer writing about dragons and knights in the 90s, not a transformative political thinker who is going to smack us with a new social order at the end of the series. That doesn't mean he can't critique the system or the characters' approaches to ruling. That's why he keeps killing the unfit kings & punishing those who rely on wanton brutality.

Coming back to the question, Dany's family was deposed, meaning that, legally-speaking, she doesn't have any "birthright" to the throne of Westeros anymore, no matter what she tells herself. Is deposition legal? John Locke certainly thought so in his Second Treatise of Government, chapters "Of Tyranny" and "Of The Dissolution of Government". Below we have Jean-Jacques Rousseau, "Discourse on Inequality":

OK, these are Enlightenment thinkers, but the concept was not new. The Magna Carta of 1215 certainly has a provision for this. That's medieval enough, I feel.

(Ralph V. Turner, "Magna Carta Through the Ages", Harlow, Pearson Longman, 2003 - the original article was too long lol but anyone can look it up for themselves).

Thomas Aquinas, "Summa Theologica", 1274:

etc.

You will find these ideas under the term "right of revolution".

Many medieval kings IRL have been deposed or lost their crown. Richard II, anyone? There's an entire play about it. So, yes, Robert Baratheon is the legal king of Westeros at the start of AGOT and Viserys / Daenerys simply are not. There is no birthright to speak of, that is just Dany's entitlement that goes unchecked and unquestioned.

Of course, crowns can be won back by the right of conquest, which is what Dany is trying to do. GRRM's plan for her seems to either be rejected by the people of King's Landing for whatever reason (a la Rhaenyra maybe) or for her to commit such an atrocity on the city in her attempt to seize it that it disqualifies her as a potential ruler because she breaks the normal rules of engagement to a horrifying degree (i.e. dragonflame). Dany's entire plan is questionable from the start, since she intends to mount an invasion on a people brutalised by several years of war already, on the onset of winter - essentially extra suffering. The conditions are there so that the Westerosi might not interpret her actions as liberation, but merely as another pretender to the throne, who is only after her personal betterment - basically no different from what they've seen before, so no reason to join her cause or believe in her propaganda. She will bring fire-breathing monsters, Dothraki and Unsullied warriors to their lands, whom they fear and for whom they have no kinship. They have no particular attachment to the old Targaryen kings either. In short, Dany's father was deposed and she will end up deposed herself because of her own actions (or never recognised in the first place). I'm not saying this because I have beef with Daenerys, she is not a real person who did me wrong, she is a fictional character the author is using to illustrate a political idea.

Whereas the people of the North maintain a very favourable view of the Starks and of Ned Stark in particular. They are seen as the legitimate rulers of the North and their replacements (the Boltons) are almost universally hated. The text is littered with "the North remembers" and "there must always be a Stark in Winterfell" and general Stark-fawning. The people of the North were very eager to name Ned Stark's son as their king. The people of the Night's Watch voted for Ned Stark's 15-year-old bastard as their leader. Ramsay Bolton pretends to marry Arya Stark to consolidate his legitimacy as the ruler of Winterfell and the North. Many other characters covet Sansa for the same reason. The Starks have not been deposed, unlike the Targaryens, they're just missing / presumed dead and Winterfell is up for grabs. None of our Northern characters think how lovely it would be if we had a Targaryen restauration. These things may seem like candy floss to the modern reader and they may not resonate, but they mattered a lot in the past. So when Sansa takes back Winterfell, it will be with the backing of the majority of the Northern population and with the help of the Knights of the Vale, who are seen as honourable and are of Andal descent, so will not be perceived as foreign invaders. No one in the North will be contemplating their right-to-revolution against the Starks, because they will be revolting alongside Sansa to free themselves from the abusive Bolton rule.

Sansa rebuilds Winterfell out of snow and thinks of it warmly as her home, feels kinship and connection with the place she grew up in, whereas Daenerys feels possessive over a land she's never seen and wants to take it with "fire and blood". True, these are not actions, not crimes for Dany and neither acts of benevolence for Sansa. They haven't done anything yet. But they are images. Framing. Hints. That's how literature works.

Could Dany be given a narrative of Westerosi restauration? Could GRRM write her as gaining popular support and as not breaking the social contract while installing herself back on the throne? Had only Book 1 been published, these questions would have had more validity. But after Book 5? Not when Martin frames her like that and literally kicks her out of the city she conquered.

[thechargrey]

Something bothering me after s3.e4. Zava's right, a lot. The first thing the guy says is that gender is a social construct! Hell yeah!

We all expected to hate him, expected him to be a Jaimie s1, and then he barges in to the scene saying all this stuff that we agree with. This episode where he talks about how we should name ourselves feels a bit "yes, king."

Except that it's not.

Zava does not ask Van Damme why he's Zoreaux because he wants Van Damme to look deeper, he does it because he was corrected by Van Damme on his name. Zava was wrong, and rather than admit that and move on Zava constructed a narrative in which he was right by using ideology that we already agree with.

It's a distraction technique. It's a massively toxic trait that is most often used by narcissists. It becomes impossible to argue with someone doing this, because you agree fundamentally with what they're saying, and the moment that you do you've fallen into a trap where the narcissist does not have to change their behavior or recognize their wrongs.

This particular situation is a small one, but it hints at something much bigger. The fact that Zava couldn't admit he was wrong over a more minor thing is a big red flag to me. Zava said what he said to protect his hero/idol status, and because he is the kind of man that cannot admit to his mistakes.

This also isn't the first time. His introduction is him sitting at Rebecca's desk. Which is clearly very creepy, but when he's called to answer to why he's there he distracts us by saying "gender is a construct." When he first speaks to Ted he simultaneously says the things all coaches want to hear and what he really means. "I am an empty vessel filled with gold. I am a rock, mold me." He's claiming he'll listen to Ted, but also very clearly saying that he will do what he wants in the end. He simultaneously says Will is the most important person and insults him by saying he's 11. We're used to himbo characters and seeing the best in people, but that just makes it all the easier to be taken in.

The writers are clearly using Zava to illustrate a new type of toxic male character we haven't yet seen on the show as of yet. And they're simultaneously demonstrating just how convincing narcissists are. They're so easy to like because they say the right things. Many of the fans of the show like Zava, and that's on purpose.

And the writers have also already told us exactly what Zava's going to do.

When Zava is first mentioned, Rebecca and Higgins talk about how he switches teams constantly. Now that we know Zava's character it's easy to connect the dots as to why that is. The moment people on the team wise up to who Zava actually is and stop hero worshiping him is the moment Zava skips town. He doesn't care what kind of situation that leaves his team in, because he's only ever been on a team of 1.

So what we'll see is that Zava will continue to use progressive words to prove himself right while being steadily more wrong and offensive. At some point that will cross a line where the team can no longer ignore it, and it will break the illusion of what Zava's been doing the whole time for both the team and the audience. Zava will immediately leave Richmond. And bc this is a tv show it will be at a moment where Richmond needs him the most.

[night-market-if]

Helloo, while I agree with you that Milo is also a victim, I also think that the other anons are also justified in feeling that way about him. I'm really sorry if I'm wrong, but the way you reply to other people's thoughts, about things that you don't have the same opinion on, feels like you're telling them that they are wrong to feel that way.

Let's unpack this for a minute. Because I think this is a great opportunity.

I am not invalidating that anyone has an opinion. They are allowed to have an opinion. And, if they approached me like you just did, I would most likely respond to that opinion in a constructive way. But someone messaging me and just throwing out a random feeling they have that is negative, and then getting mad at me in return when I don't agree with them, is childish. I will not be apologizing for that because most of the people that are "angry" about something, come at me in a really negative context. And then when I state something differently (without attacking them even) they get irrationally upset. I mean, a prime example is me saying that Milo is also a victim. That there can be more than one victim. I then got a response saying I was the one flying off the handle. Following that was another response telling me that I am a hated author. That my game is terrible. That I am a bad person. I mean, think about that for a minute here. Does the response corelate with what I said? Does it warrant that? No.

People are always valid to have an opinion, but there are two things to say about it. Most of the time, the people coming at me, are internet trolls. Not actual readers. And I'm sorry, we were indoctrinated at a young age to "ignore the bullies" and I just don't think that is the right response. Because now we have a generation that ignored the bullies and they got way worse because no one had a social contract to call them out.

Two, the ones that are not trolls, are lacking a lot of media literacy. That is actually an extreme problem within our society. And, since I am the author, it is my job to offer what I was trying to say within my story. That may not align with someone's opinion. But me having my own opinion, does not warrant someone getting mad at me. I didn't get mad at them so why am I suddenly greeted with toxicity.

I get where you are coming from saying that people are allowed to have their own opinion. And I have stated over and over again that everyone is valid for it. I'm not even saying for someone to change their mind or go away. But, someone else's opinion does not invalidate my own. Just as my own does not invalidate theirs. And if someone feels like it does, and this is going to sound cruel, but it is not my responsibility to regulate that for them. That most likely stems from a personal standpoint. I am not responsible for someone being offended by what I have to say about my own story and my own fictional characters. You don't see me coming on here and crying out that someone on anon made me "feel bad". That's not a thing.

There is a difference between just saying something out loud and engaging in a conversation. Constructive criticism is where you offer a opinion, give why you are offering it, and then explain how it does or does not work for the narrative. Then, I can come back, ask questions, respond with what maybe I was intending, and figure out a better way to get what I was intending across.

Non constructive criticism is just coming to me as an anon, and saying they are angry and want to hurt someone. Or that they don't like something of my story without giving why.

To further some points. Milo is a triggering character. I knew this from the beginning. The things that he did is not for the faint of heart and speaks to betrayal. And a lot of people who have been in a situation where they feel betrayed, are going to respond negatively to that. But, that is on them. That is for them to work through and own. It is not the responsibility of my story to change because of that. And coming on to say that you hate a character and want to harm them. Or coming on to say that I'm a bad writer. Or even coming on to say that I'm hated on reddit (to which I say, isn't everyone?) is providing nothing to this community, world, or our author reader relationship. It is done solely with the intent to try and hurt someone because the reader themselves was hurt.

To end this, I am going to make this statement. Telling me it "feels" like I am telling someone they are wrong is based in a personal feeling towards a situation. It is not based in facts. It is not based in anything that I have said. And while everyone has a right to their opinion, just because I am an author and a content creator, does not mean I don't get to defend my story or my characters. If I was being racists, sexist, transphobic? All things to come at someone for. But because I wrote something that makes people angry and they don't want to continue going on a journey with the characters and would rather just block their minds to character growth? I can't do anything about that. If there is no conversation they want to engage in, if they simply want to come on and troll me, then they need to not be surprised when I treat them the same way they are treating me.

I hope this makes more sense and provides some understanding.

Zinnia

[rinbylin]

friendships as marital ties (and other notes on relational ties) in mlc

this is sort of a third installment in the series of meta on 'mlc as an exemplar of constructing queer narratives out of chinese ideological frameworks' (1. jianghu as queer space and 2. how it manifests in li xiangyi) - focusing on the nature of relationships in it. (which I've briefly mentioned in the first one and finally actually getting to it!!)

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I would like to first call attention to chinese ideological frameworks as a premise of queer reading in mlc. the goal of chinese philosophy is to explore the becoming of human, taking two broad paths of the (mainstream) secular vs. escaping the secular. (these two paths are not a strict dichotomy, and rather, are ever in flux and in conversation with each other.) as said by @markiafc too, chineseness is so much about the rigidity of structures, and in equal part, a desire to break out of them. thus, chinese ideological frameworks can very much offer a rich reading of queerness - that mlc, a story very deliberately structured based on chinese ideologies (more accurately, with good reasons for me to believe that it is as such), has managed to materialise.

if the conceptualisation of queerness is premised on a defiance against mainstream norms, then a reliable way to read queerness in chinese ideological frameworks can be to deconstruct it by the mainstream confucian frameworks.

in mlc, this is implicitly set up with its stage of wulin/martial jianghu. then it is further broken down by asking, hey wulin jianghu is still closely related to the hegemonic values and the mainstream structure of authority (historically, 侠 xia being politically involved says a lot about this), so what is the true meaning of jianghu? what does it then really take for jianghu to be a queer space offering comfort and freedom to those who have escaped to it - to be the space that allow the transcendence of rigid roles and labels? mlc took a step further to resist the proxy to mainstream values that wulin jianghu has become.

this is why there can be a very strong buddhism reading of mlc (suggested here, expounded in the A+++ meta by @markiafc here and here, and also what I've seen discussed by cnet as well), given that buddhism is one of the 'extra-secular' ideologies, alongside (philosophical) taoism. I've also touched on a taoist angle in this meta. both schools are articulated in different sets of languages, but ultimately convey a same ideal of what it means to be human and how to live well - that is, to resist the roles and labels defined by the norms.

so, back to confucian frameworks.

a lot can be discussed about mlc with it. but in the context of this meta about relationships in mlc, it's specifically drawing on how confucianism conceptualises social relationships with familial ties as a cornerstone, and how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self'.

as such, one of the things about mlc that has fascinated me is how deliberately it seems to ignore and reject the conventional familial ties (the kind by blood and marital ties). I've joked about how it is a miracle for me to love mlc as much as I do, as a prime dysfunctional family story enjoyer, despite none of its main characters struggling with any complicated feelings about their (biological) parents. but on closer examination, mlc is also making a comment on the model of familial-based relationships that dominates mainstream society - but through the absence of it.

with this, I want to talk about 1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties; and then 2) how it repurposes these ties in its own ways.

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the five relational ties in confucianism:

father and son 父子有亲 - (natural) affection between father and son

ruler and subject 君臣有义 - righteous relationship between ruler and subject

older and younger brothers 兄弟 (长幼有序) - this is actually about seniority within the family; the order between older vs younger family members

husband and wife 夫妇有别 - differentiation between husband and wife (demarcated by the 内外 spectrum of gendered inner-external spheres)

friends 朋友有信 - trust between friends

logically inferred, all these ties are hierarchical and familial-based except for the last one: friends. ruler-subject is sort of an extension of the natural familial ties, while friendship is the inverse space of 1-4 (ie. you fall back on 5 to define a social relationship outside of the familial sphere that cannot be qualified as 1-4). while all are premised on mutuality, it is only no. 5 that is defined by a sense of choice and equality.

on the surface, 1-4 don't quite exist in mlc in particularly meaningful ways to the narrative or are even outright overlooked, and friendship is the relational tie most valued by mlc. we can tell it's true just by looking at the most meaningful relationships in mlc of difanghua. but at the same time, it is more nuanced. we can take a closer look at how the story plays around with most of the ties as part of a broader queer narrative.

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1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties

mlc's rejection of mainstream relational ties can be best seen in fdb escaping from marriage. and it was not just any engagement with anybody but an engagement with the imperial family. he struggles with the prospect of being married to princess zhaoling, but generally, it's about the idea of complying to mainstream conventions and expectations that includes compulsory heterosexuality. all these point not only to a defiance against amatonormativity - the resistance of the traditional husband-wife tie, but also an irreverence for the ties of ruler-subject (the engagement being an imperial decree) and father-son (matters of marriage being sole decisions made by parents).

of course this is on top of how fdb's own biological father is a p-o-s, and the narrative gives fdb minimal struggles in this aspect, allowing him to sever this tie without looking back (I love it, yeap). along the same line is how lxy is an orphan, who came to gain important relationships that are built on natural compassion among people rather than innate, blood-based ties - even as llh. the sense of defiance from the narrative is especially stark to me considering that he could have a completely different familial-based life - as a son, brother, and ruler, if his biological family was still around. the narrative also deliberately treats his biological brother as a phantom, replaced with an older brother who he was bonded with neither by blood nor marital ties. on dfs's front, absolutely nothing is to be known about his biological family. his childhood history with the toxic patriarch of his life - who is not even his biological father - was afforded a clean break and closure.

we can keep going on, but that's pretty much the point.

ritualisation is one of the most important things of the confucianism school, especially to the honoring of these social relationships (and the officiating of social roles). the one ceremony/ritual we saw in mlc involving the main characters - or more accurately speaking, came closest to seeing - was the imminent wedding ceremony of dfs and jlq. even in that case, it was premised on non-mutuality with dfs being the unwilling, passive party. (fem-coded dfs? 25 marks.)

and that brings us to the next part.

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2) how mlc repurposes these ties

that particular wedding ceremony gets hijacked by dfs and lxy/llh, and gets turned into an important milestone in their relationship. they consummate - what is on text - their friendship after a long time being more enemies and rivals than friends. it is a clear establishment of the trust they have for each other. and here it is where I circle back to the subject of this post: friendships as marital ties.

in this article, as a part of a feminist, egalitarian reframing of confucianism, there is a proposal for spousal relationships to be reframed as a friendship tie. (this aligns with the interrelatedness of the five ties eg. the ruler-subject mirrors father-son dynamic, with the confucian belief that rulers have an obligation to their subjects alike parents to their own children.) by doing so, it removes the functional, gendered differentiation assigned to marital ties, and shifts it to something equal, and independent of gender. you exalt the value of trust between spouses, instead of basing marital relationships on gendered roles. as such, spouses become more like friends, and conversely, friends can also become more like spouses. (romance not a prerequisite. it has never been about romance anyway.)

given that mlc has repeatedly applied marital motifs to llh and dfs's characters in their joint narratives, this opens up a reading friendships as a marital tie. seeing marriage as a bridge for strangers to become family, marriage in mlc becomes a metaphor for the chosen commitment and mutual trust put in by strangers/friends (non-familial ties) into the becoming of family. the blurring of lines between marital ties and friendship encourages a genuine space of queer experience that goes beyond any pressure for strict labels - of sexuality, and relationships as romantic, sexual, etc etc.

(note: despite the borrowing of a feminist concept, I strongly hesitate to call mlc a feminist story. it's a whole discussion - or debate - on its own. nevertheless, it is definitely a gender-conscious story that lays foundation for a strong queer and egalitarian reading.)

-

it is to be noted that it is intended - and also beneficial to take the confucian framework of relational ties beyond face value. the framework offers what it believed to be the most fundamental social relationship dynamics, and sees room for extension and matching to other kinds of relationships (all if not, most). a relationship such as teacher-student, which is outside of the five ties stated, can also mirror the affection of father-son ties, albeit not in a literal and identical way.

speaking of which. fdb and lxy/llh.

indeed they're known by others to be good friends. fdb thinks they're good friends too - insists on it, and puts his best efforts in keeping it that way. but does it really go both ways? if it does not, then can it really still be friendship? my humble take is that, ultimately - weighing in with llh's perspective - this is a relationship that is not so much based on trust, and rather, based on an innate affection that is only unique to family. (in this case, not blood/marital-based but one that was chosen and built aka lxy's relationship with sgd.) in other words, less of a friendship, more of a familial one.

it is a lot clearer considering their relationship from llh's point of view: some brat you never wanted in your life came barging in, and whether he was going to bring any positive effect to your life was secondary to the tranquility - which you have carved for yourself in the past decade - that is so integral to your personhood. no way. but the moment you hear that he's family? well, that changes the game completely. even before learning about fdb being sgd's son (then beginning to take initiative in showing greater acceptance), it is apparent in llh that there was an instinctive resonance with fdb as his shixiong's nephew. (eg. he remarked to his shifu's grave about how alike fdb is to himself.) this is unlike with dfs whom he had taken a much longer time to build trust with. you do not apply trust - aka the quality of friendships - to family. family is something deeper, more instinctive than that. if fdb was never family, I find it hard to imagine given llh's personality, that he would have let some brazen, bratty stranger intrude for that long. (boy invited himself to llh's home, sat himself down eating the owner's dinner and nosing in his cooking abilities!!! ily bb but that was uncalled for 😭)

of course there are many more layers in their relationship. there is a substantial degree of their history as (unwitting) teacher-disciple: fdb is still healthy and alive all thanks to the existence of lxy as a spiritual teacher role model in his life, regardless it being one-sided or not. there is also indeed some part of friendship in it, especially from fdb's point of view. he sees llh as a kindred spirit who he could enjoy a life of freedom with for life. but llh never reciprocates. he knew this was short-lived. and so ultimately, the hierarchical layer of their relationship overpowers the equal one, where llh's treatment of fdb as a nephew/小辈 younger family member and a disciple is the one that sealed the fate of their relationship.

if (blood-based) familial ties are irrelevant in jianghu, then the closest proxy to a father-son relationship in the martial world would be a teacher-disciple relationship. lxy and his shifu are a clear, indisputable example. for fdb and llh, their teacher-disciple tie is murkier and not consistently applied. they were also never ritualised as teacher-disciple, and thus are not teacher-disciple in any official capacity as far as confucian ideas are concerned. yet in crucial moments, it is invoked by llh as a card of authority over fdb to get out of sticky situations with fdb. and there was their final scene together: in a moment of sincerity, llh gives the approval to fdb as his disciple - then entrusting fdb with the secret manual of his techniques, up until his final letter in which fdb was recommended to dfs as a successor to his martial abilities.

in an imperial setting, this would have been the relationship of an emperor and his crown prince that straddles both ruler-subject and father-son ties aka a tag-team of disaster. the teacher has an obligation to nurture his disciple as a successor to himself, and love him like a son too. on the flipside, he holds the final power in their relationship - withholding knowledge and feelings from the younger one. they are only equals in a way a parent-child can be. they are only equals as much as the parent allows. and this is how fdb got left behind in the dust of llh's departure. he was the child treating his parent like a friend, supporting him emotionally and begging to be loved back the same way he loves his parent - but the parent had a lifetime way ahead of him and stayed out of his reach, physically and emotionally.

llh and fdb operate with the trapping of a friendship but have always been family in the core. llh had known that way before fdb did, just like everything else he had known and put out of fdb's reach. because. fdb did not have to know. fdb is different and will forge his own path. and that's a kind of love llh has for him that nobody understands (in fact not even fdb himself) - one that is on a different plane from friendships.

by repurposing the framework of relational ties, mlc showed that the essence of familial relationships aka its intimacy and closeness can be independent from biology and formalised rituals. and it is important to myself for stories to say that people can build close ties and deeply meaningful relationships even without being born or ritualised into any.

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then back to how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self' in confucian worldview: the roles you play in these relationships are intended to define you. there is no 'self' independent from it. while the concept of a social, relational self is fully rooted in reality, being locked into social roles can be a painful way to live - a way that llh has experienced as lxy the sigu sect leader. so, in order for lxy/llh to realise a sense of self that exists outside the norms, it inevitably points to another way that requires a cut from these relationships. that is then the buddhist (or taoist) answer of looking past attachments to the world such as the confucian idea of relationships defining your being. only with a dissolution of a sense of 'self', can there be true liberation.

[prideprejudce]

y'all are not heartless, y'all are envious, so envious that you feel happy when a billionaire dies because you know you won't ever get to have that money in your lifetime, you might say "poor but alive" but truth is, you don't know how much time you have left

it’s kind of interesting to me how wealth defenders assume that the reason the mass public dont like billionaires is because we are jealous of them - like we are only a couple of right decisions away from becoming billionaires ourselves but are too dumb or lazy to take the opportunity

but these same people also studiously ignore the social constructs that prevent you and me from accumulating anything close to that amount of money in our lifetime. these people are called the 1% for a reason - they do not want to distribute their wealth and use inequalities like racism, sexism, homophobia etc and all the like to put a ceiling over our heads while they sit above us. And no amount of hard work and intelligence gets you through that ceiling because that’s the way it’s built. plus that’s not even getting into topics like nepotism and how so many “self-made” billionaires come from a long line of wealth and have had more than a head start and loopholes to the top than anyone else in the general public

there is no such thing as a good billionaire. there is no way to accumulate that amount of money without stepping on the backs of other people. and to have such a hoard of wealth that is so beyond your means that you couldn’t spend it three lifetimes over but choosing to keep it to yourself anyway is a vile human being. i’m not jealous of the billionaires and want their money - i want to not live in a system anymore that sucks away all of the opportunities and resources away from the communities and funnel it to several people who use it to buy shit like…..idk… a ticket on a sardine can to the bottom of the ocean

[championfrolicfleece]

Pokémon Sword And Shield Mainly Leon and Hop Incorrect Quotes Part 1 + A Little Gloria & Postwickshipping.

Hop, after he and Gloria save Galar from Eternatus @ Leon: How in the name of Zacian are you still alive?

Leon: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

Alternatively-

Leon: What’s up? I’m back.

Hop: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead

Leon: Death is a social construct.

Alternatively, Alternatively + Gloria chiming in-

Hop: Leon! We thought you were dead!

Leon: No, just in a deep stupor.

Gloria: ...But you literally weren't breathing for like five minutes?!

Leon: It... was a very deep stupor.

Hop: This is a bad idea.

Leon: Then why are you coming along?

Hop: Someone has to get your injured butt back home.

Hop: Ow!

Leon: What’s wrong?

Hop: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.

Leon: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was ten.

Hop: Wasn't that when you first became Champion of Gal-... oh...

Hop: I think I need a hug...

Leon: Good thing I'm hug shaped!

**45 minutes later**

Hop: You... you can let go now.

Leon: No, I absolutely cannot.

Leon: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for fledgling trainers, like yourself.

Hop: That sounds like a challenge.

Leon: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.

Hop: ...That is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!

Leon: There is no challenge!

Hop, noticing Leon looks exhausted after coming home to visit: When's the last time you slept?

Leon: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Hop: A few- how many?!

Leon: Uh... **starts counting on fingers** I need more fingers...

Hop: What you need is sleep!

Hop: Have Gloria and I ever told you that you're the best, most amazing, person ever to exist?!

Leon: For the love of Arceus, I am not taking you two to Bob's Your Uncle. It’s 2am and it's all the way in Circhester! Also, what are you doing in my room? Don't you understand privacy?!

Gloria: Mean. >: (

Hop: Leon always accuses me of having a favorite but that’s not true.

Leon: That's a lie, their name is Gloria.

Hop: Nuh-uh! I love Gloria and all the not-Glorias equally.

**Hop and Leon having a rare Bro-fight**

Leon: You’re mean!

Hop: You’re meaner!

Leon: Yeah, well, you’re stupid too!

Hop: You’re stupider!

Leon: You’re a dumbbutt!

Hop: You’re a dumberbutt!

Leon: You think “dumberbutt” is a good insult!

Hop: Oh, flaaffysticks!

Leon: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fu- uhm the fluffing language!

Hop: Okay, truth or dare?

Leon: Truth

Hop: How many hours have you slept this week?

Leon: ...Dare

Hop: Go to bed.

Leon: I don’t like this game.

Leon: I'm bored, any suggestions?

Hop: Sleeping is nice.

Leon: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I’m deciding to ignore it.

Leon, in overprotective Big Bro Mode: You know what’s funny about Hop? They’re my Lil bro and best friend. So, if there's anyone who’d hurt them, then that someone that hurt Hop, well I’d... uh.... end their subscription to life... probably.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

So I didn't want to involve the people on this post in my shenanigans. Mostly because I don't want to see a dogpile, or because I don't want to deal with the ignorance that will come from the responses.

So this showed up on my dash

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And honestly I don't think they understand what's really going on. There are a lot of people living in a bubble and it kind of annoys me a bit.

People are not pissed that LGBT people exist. Contrary to popular belief. Nor are they mad that LGBT products exist. What they are mad about is that June has become, "Worship the LGBT or else" month. And while many don't think that's true, it very much is.

I've seen pride parade over the last 6+ years with HEAVY kink involvement IN PUBLIC in full view of kids. Also in full view of people who really don't want to see it. People who can't close their businesses. People who have appointments to keep at offices. Dick shaped lollipops. Near full nudity. What used to be SUPPOSEDLY a celebration of love is now a degenerate (and that's coming from me) fetish fest. More over, if you don't brandish your cult symbol, people get mad at you. And now a days threaten to destroy your livelihood.

(And before you continue reading. THIS MAY well ruffle some feathers. And while you may not agree with my sentiment, this post is not hateful. It's observations and ideas based on people I've talked to both in and out of the LGBT, things I've experienced in my own life, and stuff I've read up on over the years. And while I'm not as articulate as a used to be, it's written not in anger, but with the intention of explaining all of my thoughts. And while they may not get across the way I want, I mean no hate by them.)

Pride hasn't been about love in years. It's been about how degenerate and fetishy can we get in public until they start putting us in jail. Except we can't even do that anymore because protected classes get an absolute pass to break the laws now. And you might not see that but everyone else does.

What's more, what LGBT means now isn't what it used to mean. It's some weird amalgamation taking every sex based thing and non sex based thing and shoving it all under the same umbrella. Hell, most modern trans activists want to get rid of gay people. And no that's not some joke or conspiracy.

Consider this. A lot of modern "LGBT" people claim that gender is a social construct right? Ok and now they are trying to say there is no difference between men and women. In the biological sense. Now you have, "Lady dicks and man pussys" and what not. Except it's not a joke. And I'm not joking. I've been seeing a hard push from trans activists in the modern day, to claim that biological sex does not matter (to the point they want to be able to change their birth certificates), and that if you are a Female dating a male, so long as they SAY they are a woman you are still somehow a lesbian.

THEN you have the now famous Tim Pool clip where the guy from The Serfs claims that if a woman sleeps with an effeminate man, she's actually a lesbian. Or vice versa, if a man dates a non feminine woman, he's actually gay. I don't think most of you realize right now but modern activists are hell bent on erasing gay people. Gay in it's ACTUAL meaning. Which is sexual attraction to the same SEX. Not the same gender. Which both were interchangeable for years. Now it's a clusterfuck of what ever either side wants it to mean. And that's devastating for society. It's devastating for communication between people. And it's devastating for relationships.

Things are breaking down at the seams. People who have been gay their entire lives now have to contend with being called bigots by self righteous, narcissistic, young, dumb people trying to tell them THEY are the bigots. When arguably they had it much harder in society. Hell the middle east STILL gives you 2 options if you are gay. Transition so you are not a monster, or die. Because at least if you appear like the opposite sex you can't participate in your debauchery. That's how they view it. And activists in the west are doing the exact same in their own way. It's pretty fucking scary.

But to the original point. It's not just about Trans this, Gay that, Lesbian this, or anything. People are just tired of the celebrations. Because it's moved way past that into glorification. To a point that among the people that support it, they are deifying it. That's not exaggeration. You are now considered boring if you are straight. You are considered an evil racist monster if you are "cis". And don't get me started on the rant that is talking about that term. Kids are now being indoctrinated into being something other than straight and their own sex/gender. Because according to this hell site and others like it, "Straight people are so boring and stupid and violent and and and and and~" Fuck you.

You don't get to shit on straight people with impunity and then get upset when they say enough. You don't get to tell people that "every day is straight pride day" meanwhile smearing your privates in their faces for a full month. No criticism. No conversation. Just mindless worship. And don't tell me that's not what it is. That is fully what it is.

And before anyone decides to come at me telling me I'm transphobic or homophobic, Plenty of LGBT people agree with me. Some even have more extreme views on all of this than I do. Mine seems to be the very mild view on all of this considering.

But we don't need a pride month anymore in the US. The initial movement was about not just getting the right to marry, but being able to be seen as human just like everyone else.

Well guess what? It has not been like that since 2012. Now it's about, "Call me my pronouns or I'll cut your head off" and "If you don't celebrate pride then your a bigot, a monster, and a nazi", or, "I can't believe this old woman called me young lady, WTF, I'm clearly a man" or my personal favorite, "Kink needs to be in front of kids so they can grow up and understand good sex". Yeah. I've actually heard every one of these IN PERSON and wanted to call the cops on the last one. And fringe or not, these ARE the views being pushed to the forefront.

And more than that even. A school quite literally said, "Memorial day weekend? What's that? Pride month though. Let's dress all these kids in pride stuff and parade them around to prove how virtuous we are."

Yes this DID actually happen. A school opted to not recognize or celebrate our fallen, and instead opted into worship. Modern pride is a cult. I'm not sorry for saying it. Most of you pushed to see how far until it was too far. And now you WILL see people walk back acceptance of the LGBT as a whole. You waved your crotches in their faces for long enough and they've had it.

And that makes me pretty upset honestly. Because my LGBT friends may likely have to suffer through widespread discrimination again because you didn't understand how far is too far. And then when you were told how far too far was, you opted to take it further than that.

Now let me cool the pot as it were. I'm not putting this on the LGBT people who've been nothing but good people, who just have been trying to live and enjoy their lives. And I don't want to see an overreaction to all of this. But the issue is not enough people smacked these activist types down. Their fringe views were allowed to flourish and be the dominate idea. And now we have people boycotting LGBT stuff aimed at kids, and parents are pissed. Kids are already confused enough growing up. Hormones, School, Friends, Parents, figuring out life, etc. It's a confusing time in their lives and they frankly don't need more stuff to be confused about. More over, they don't need to be focused on sexuality (which again is a concept based on SEX based attraction) at 10 y/o. Will they figure that stuff out? Yes. Do they need a LGBT teacher teaching them how to be gay? No.

Do they need books teaching them how to get on gay dating apps at 14 for anonymous hookups with gay men? ALSO no. Do they need to learn how to use butt-plugs at 13-14? FUCK no. Do they need to be taught in gay books how to give head to other boys? NO! THEY DON'T! Do they need drag queens, wearing thongs and a miniskirt twerking in their faces at 6? *cocks shotty*. And before I get the onslaught of, "That's not happening", yes it is. There's proof of it all over the US. Happening in more and more frequency. Including librarians suggesting books featuring explicit content to very young teens.

The final straw was kids. And when you told parents they were not allowed to defend their kids, parents said, "Excuse the fuck out of me". And now here we are. In a country were if you are LGBT and you rape someone, it's perfectly fine. And calling it out is actually bad. If you call out biological men, claiming to be trans so they they can rape women in prison an issue, THAT'S somehow calling all trans people rapist? If you point out that a gay man or a trans woman is grooming kids and or has sexually assaulted them, that SOMEHOW all gay men and trans women are predators?

No one said that. YOU said that. And your fighting tooth and nail to defend people who do those things, is a problem. And it's why people are fed up.

This is not and has never been about anti-LGBT sentiment. But it will become that if people who've done this stuff continue to be shielded. It will become that if normies get even more fed up with the cult like worship once a year of Pride. I don't want to see it become that. It will however, if things don't come down from a boil. Leave kids alone, call out groomers and predators, and stop featuring kink and fetish at pride parades. Put on a rainbow shirt hold hands with your S/O Hold up a sign saying "Love" and that's it. It's super simple. And for the love of all that is holy, stop shaming straight people. Because if you don't they WILL come to resent you. More than some already do.

And just to wrap things up. I don't want to see things get worse for LGBT people. What I do want to see is certain LGBT people stop acting like being LGBT is their entire personality. Because it's not just grating to me. It's grating to other LGBT people. And worst of all it's grating to normies. And they are the people you need to be worried about.

[dorianwolfforest]

So I was given this response by a dev about the AI thing who I have since blocked, primarily for what I'm about to talk about in this post.

I want to talk about your right to absolutely be critical, mean, negative and angry about star stable online if you want to, and why that in no way, shape, or form is "harassment".

There's this saying in bookworld, "no authors in review spaces, reviews are for readers". Its intention is to say that, no matter how much you as an author want to know how people are reacting to your book, you do not go chasing down reviews because they're not meant as a learning opportunity for you, they're meant to let others know more about your product. You do not watch videos reviewing your book. You do not read through your goodreads. You do not intentionally seek out the two or one star reviews. You are, however, encouraged to find a friend who can look through the reviews for you, find positive or constructive ones, and give them to you.

If you want to learn how to improve for your next book, you make use of the beta readers. You make use of the sensitivity readers. You make use of the editors. There is nothing a review can say that will help you, because the book the review belongs to has already been written.

In a similar vein, I do not believe developers should involve themselves in fandom spaces. Yes, I will be overjoyed at an Ismael tweet, because that is Ismael's own space. That's his world. That's his presence, he's allowed to exist online if he wants to and Ismael is still allowed to talk about SSO on his account like how authors are allowed to talk about their books, because he does not go chasing down sso neg about his own work, the server upkeep. I, as the "reviewer", do not go into his tweet replies and let him know how much I hate the most recent quests or how bad a horse breed is (much like how I, if I don't like a book, don't go on twitter and tag the author to tell them that their book sucks). I save that for my space, the reviewer space. SSOblr, in this instance.

In our own space, as reviewers, we are allowed to be critical and negative about the product we consume, because we understand that it's about the work, not the people behind it. In many instances, we don't even know who the person behind what we're critiquing is. There is also the assumption, the hope, that the person will never see it, because developers, like authors, shouldn't hunt down reviews of their work, and if they do find something that is critical, it should be a standard that they either ignore it, or read it but don't respond to it.

We've had a grown woman on this platform beef with and publicly call out a teenager for expressing the opinion that the quests she made weren't good, with the justification that the review was "hurtful". Plenty of reviews have the potential to be hurtful, it comes with the profession. That's why you don't read them. Even then, no one who expresses critical thoughts does so specifically to upset or hurt the person behind the work, far from it. That's why we stick to our tiny individual corners of the internet and don't chase you down to tell you our opinion.

Within Star Stable Entertainment, the friends an author might use to collect positive and constructive reviews are your support team (which, unfortunately, isn't all that great. Hooray for being told to overlook antisemitism) and social media accounts. All you need to know about how people react to you and your work should be filtered through them.

If the person who used AI art feels targeted and harassed, that is on them. We didn't know it was even one single person who did it, you as a company singled them out to us so that we'd stop blaming you as a whole. Furthermore we don't know who it is, we physically cannot harass them. Who do we tag? who do we send messages to in order to harass them? No one. They would need to go on SSOblr and look through the tag after a massive controversy caused by them, purposefully searching for outrage. That's not on us.

You are fully within your right to have public opinions about the content you consume, and if a developer oversteps the creator/reviewer boundary you are not the one who should be apologizing.

[rayday-mayday]

Just going to post this real quick to my blog to ward off a specific type of person rq: I don't support transid.

Never have and never will. Argue with a wall if you want to change my mind cuz you won't atp. I've tried to understand where yall are coming from, but can still find faults in your logic + ways you're genuinely harmful.

[ Rant under the cut about why I don't support transid. Fair warning: It's kind of really long ]

I don't care what justifications you have. If you genuinely feel dysphoria over not being abused, traumatized, disabled, a terrible person, or whatever else, then that's something you take up with a professional.

I am strictly anti-harm, anti-abuse, anti-violence, and just anything that causes harm to anyone at all. Even people I hate.

Transid inherently has a percentage of people in their community that want to transition, and considering that it has identities such as transnazi, transabuser, transgroomed, transPTSD, etc, I just can't support it.

You don't plan to "transition" yourself? Why aren't you calling out people who do? Just idly standing by when your community has a really harmful problem is also contributing to the problem. Your silence is a statement, especially if you're extremely active in a specific community.

Even if you don't support "transition" when it comes to harmful identities, where do you draw the line on what's harmful? I'd like to argue that transautistic is harmful. You cannot transition into being autistic. Full stop. Same with being ADHD, actually, but I won't get into that since I don't know much about ADHD personally.

But even if I don't know much about ADHD, what I can say is that both conditions are abnormalities in the way your brain functions and develops. And with that I mean the way it physically functions. You cannot wish your brain into developing at a different rate than an allistic, nor can you wish it into genuinely reacting differently to certain stimuli, or whatever other differences there are.

You also can't take any type of hormones/meds to change how your brain fundamentally develops, processes external stimuli, and/or processes the chemicals your brain is subjected to.

And just to prove that autistic brains in specific are different from allistic's: Here's a study just to prove my point.

That means that you cannot transition into being autistic no matter what, and attempting to do so will be nothing but pretend. And no, you can't liken this to transphobia. Gender is a social construct, unlike autism + your physical sex is malleable due to your physical sex being determines by what hormones your body produces and/or whatever genes you have (mutated or not.)

Then there's identities such as transnazi and transabuser or whatever. I don't care what dysphoria you have, you shouldn't have the want to harm people, and if you do then fucking seek support and professional help so you don't harm others.

Same goes for any type of transabused, transeatingdissorder, transPTSD or whatever else. Wanting to go through worse trauma is a normal reaction to having been through "mild" or ignored trauma, but actively identifying as having gone through "worse," or worse: actively trying to "transition" ( become more traumatized ) isn't okay, and only causes harm to yourself and others.

And no, bringing up BIID isn't valid either. Them having their limbs removed to cope with their dysphoria is a controversial stance/action even in professional spaces. Usually people with BIID get cognitive behavioral therapy, other types of therapy in general, or similar treatment. At most they'll suggest VR to live without having a limb, or suggest using things like crutches, but that's it.

Professional usually want to avoid a healthy limb being amputated, and similarly you shouldn't jump to "transitioning" if you struggle with any type of actual transid-related dysphoria.

There's also transrace, which I won't speak on too much since I'm very much white, but I can say that, in my humble opinion, it borders a little too close to blackface, yellowface, or whatever else. When it comes to POC wanting to transition into being white, maybe talk to a professional cuz there's most likely some trauma causing that urge.

And no, just because race is a social construct does not mean it falls under the same category as gender. Race is usually based off of physical characteristics that labels you as fx. black, asian, white, whatever.

While gender, on the other hand, is also based off of physical characteristics sometimes, but that isn't everything. Gender is more based on aesthetics you attribute to your identity, and includes abstract concepts such as certain colors (pink/blue fx.) being for girls/boys, glitter being seen as more feminine, while mud and that type of stuff is seen as more masculine etc. It also changes more drastically over time fx. men used to wear skirts/makeup/wigs a while back, but now those things are more so seen as feminine.

Even transage is problematic. Not because of predators or anything. While, yes, that is a problem, I have a different reasoning as to why I think it's problematic. And that's cuz it includes kids truly wanting to be treated as adults, and adults wanting to be treated truly as kids. Sure, adults can be treated as kids to some extent, but kids cannot be treated as adults, or as equals in general by adults, due to the fact that actually being 10, and feeling like you're 10 years old while being idfk 20, are two very different things.

Kids being treated as actual adults can lead to harm on their psyche, which they often cannot fully comprehend due to being younger. You know, since kids don't have enough life experience or impulse control to truly know what they're consenting to, what they're doing, etc.

This doesn't only apply to sexual activities and being in sexual communities, but also in regards to viewing violence, having adult responsibilities, etc.

Either way, If the plurality community, the agere community, and autistic community can understand this, then you should too. I'm mentioning autistic people due to the fact some autistic people are often seen, if not outright are, mentally less mature in some cases. But even then, we still shouldn't be outright treated as kids since we're still adults, and if we interact inappropriately with kids, then we shouldn't be excused either due to being "mentally younger."

Sorry if I was incoherent during this rant. I just wanted to shout into the void about my stance on this while also warding off transid people. Cuz honestly? Seeing people support transid frustrates me due to all the harmful things mentioned above.

[pvnktimez]

On speaking

Autonomy and control over selfhood, that's the dream, baby! Isn't it? Have you ever wondered who the first person to come up with words is? Why do we use the speech patterns and vocabulary that we do? What do the subtleties of our speaking habits reveal about our underlying perspectives and attitudes towards the world, ourselves, our fellow humans, and all the other organisms and spirits who share the world with us. For example, that we differentiate between humans as people and nonhumans as animals shows a lot about how we unconsciously separate ourselves from other living creatures, justly or otherwise. 

Noam Chomsky is a well known social theorist and political commentator who got a big name first for his work in linguistics. Language is everything - it defines perception - a powerful, magically artistic and diplomatic tool to influence ourselves and the world at large. Being able to speak at all is an amazing gift our ancestors have blessed us with - to understand language and use it intentionally is, in my view, the mark of a powerful craftsman. It is intangible, yet has the capability to bend, twist, and transform reality when handled with skill, for good or bad. 

Consider gender - not only have members of the trasngender community been doing groundbreaking philosophical linguistic work for the better part of a century by developing new language to expand our collective perception and acceptance of gender diversity, many languages have already been using gender neutral pronouns since inception! I started dipping my toes into Turkish on Duolingo this year and learned that they do not use gendered pronouns - he/she/it are all wrapped up into the singular 'o' and the plural 'onlar'. Elegant, no? 

Back to animals, the capacity for symbolic speech is a uniquely human trait. While many animals have the capacity for auditory/vocal communication, none exhibit the same capacity for "hierarchical syntactic structure" as humans have. This involves traits like symbolism, abstraction, and creative grammatical construction. While it is true that some nonhuman animals, such as some birds, dogs, and monkeys can mimic language (a process called "phonological syntax"), use tools to construct basic sentences to communicate needs (like those button pads with pre-recorded words such as "treat" or "walk"), or even learn sign language effectively, they notably lack the biological faculties which would allow for the complex, creative combining of vocabulary and syntax to organically generate new sentence structures, speech or otherwise. This field of study is called Comparative Linguistics - it deals with the material, biological circumstances that result in the variety of language capacities across different species (Bolhuis, et. al.).

In an interview on the podcast "Conversations with Tyler", Chomsky describes the spectacularity of language in humans as follows: 

"The fundamental property of human language is this unique capacity to create, unboundedly, many new thoughts in our minds, and even to be able to convey to others who have no access to our minds their innermost workings. Galileo himself thought the alphabet was the most spectacular of human inventions because it provided a means to carry out this miracle" (Cowan).

Communication fosters connection and empathy, so it makes sense that many people feel disconnected from animals because communication between different languages is damn hard. It seems to me that when one group of people who are already deficit in empathy (such as the white colonizers who founded the current American empire) meets another group who does not share the same language (such as the indigenous peoples of Turtle Island and abroad), grounds for dehumanization are very easy to justify, particularly so within the cultural context of religious superiority. I even see that within a common language, people still manage to ignore the conversational partners, whether in casual or professional settings, by refusing to listen and using language to dominate and self-affirm, therefore separating themselves from the harmonious community. 

I would also note that I believe the chronic lack of empathy we're observing is, at least partially, on account of numerous types of trauma and repression from systems such as white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, and religious extremism that modern science has barely begun to understand in the last century. We have a lot of healing to do, folks :) 

Moving onto the state and its monopoly on violence, it's well known that if someone can control the language a group of people use, they have control over that group's perception of reality and the consequent decisions made thereafter. George Orwell explores this theme in his notorious novel "1984". Even if you haven't read it, I trust the reader understands its premise primarily warns against government totalitarianism and censorship. I say this because I have not read it, but have listened to enough people talk about it that I feel like I get it. One notable comment I remember hearing went something along the lines of "1984 was not a prediction of the future, but a description of the author's present day environment", as is much of the sci-fi genre. We have to remember "1984" was published in 1949, not even a decade after WWII.

In the same interview mentioned above, Chomsky outlines more subtle ways the United States government has implemented this tactic. "Manufacturing Consent" may be one of his most well known books, written in 1988. This term was coined from Walter Lippman in the early 20th century, a member of Woodrow Wilson's propaganda committee. Despite campaigning on a platform for pacifism, Wilson decided the U.S. should enter WWI and was faced with changing public opinion from one of peace towards war to gain support for this decision. This is what the Committee of Public Information was charged with - dealing misinformation. Sound familiar?

Lippman developed the techniques to manufacture consent which “could control the public, shape opinion, completely turn them into, in this case, fanatic anti-German people who wanted to kill everything German. Can’t say frankfurter; you have to say hotdog. You have to change your name if you’re German to something else" (Cowan). This "new art in the practice of democracy" benefitted the private sector as well as the war by accusing labor unions of anti-patriotism. This rhetoric is remarkably similar to actions taken by the the House on Un-American Activities Committee, which was active from 1938 (eleven years before "1984" was published) until 1975. 

Chomsky explains that these tactics come from the liberal perspective that the public doesn't know what's good for them - we're dumby and should only be allowed to "spectate" public affairs, never to participate, so they lie to us to make think that everythings is fine <insert dog drinking coffee in a burning house meme>

Thanks, Dad. I'll just hang out underneath the bleachers doing fent while the forests burn down in the west and hurricanes ravage the east while telling myself that the economy is actually doing SO well. Here we wonder how misinformation has become such a huge issue today on the internet, the news, and media at large, but it doesn’t seem to be anything new. Rather, only recently is the public becoming increasingly aware of the nature of government deception as access to information and source checking becomes more widespread and accessible thanks to the internet itself. 

So now what? What do we do when we realize that our voice is not our own? That we've been told what to care about, what to talk about, so that powerful people can do terrifying things. I'm done sitting under the bleachers. In fact, I'd like to flip them on their side. There is no carrying on like usual anymore, not when social breakdown, environmental collapse, and nuclear war are on the line. Like every Jew before me, I ask, "How do we keep going?" 

If I've learned anything in my short, stupid life, it's that big change requires small, consistent actions. And to act effectively, we must maintain awareness. Awareness is so trendy right now - awareness in the media, the news! Spread awareness! Every other month is dedicated to spreading awareness about some major issue, be it black history or pride. But this is not the kind of awareness I'm talking about right now.

No, this is a linguistics column, and hopefully you come out of it thinking about things a little bit differently than when you started. I am talking about awareness over your speech - the kinds of language you use when you're making observations, judgements or demands. Do you use different speech patterns when talking to people of different backgrounds? Do you meet other people with a lot of resistance, countering anything they offer in conversation with "No", or "uhm, actually..."? Or maybe you people please, letting folks say whatever they want, even if it's harmful? 

This column will be a recurring segment where Underground readers can join me in exploring how we can harness speech to change the world. How can we programmatically create change with the world? It all starts with us, here and now. There's a lot of fear about the future and anger in our hearts, but holdfast readers, there's a whole world worth protecting in our hands. Take care out there, and tell your friends you love them. 

[dystxpiansims]

Hello! I don't like to do this, but I think it needs to be done.

If you heard about Equiliberty, you probably heard about Jocelyn Flores, or Moe, or 2thedoe, or whatever her names are. I really didn't want to make this post, but seeing how she made a whole blog just to talk trash about other servers and people who are "harassing" her after her other blogs got taken down, I feel I need to say something and let others know what they would be joining into.

First I'd like to make a pointer here; Natalia does not take their time to dedicate "talking shit" about Jocelyn or whatever she goes by now. She only posted what felt was necessary to let others know what is going on behind closed doors that Jocelyn wants to keep pushing away as nothing and act the victim. Yes, maybe some of us said some things in the past, but what Jocelyn is doing is not cool.

What's really sad is I thought Jocelyn was an amazing person, but after all the things I've seen, I take it back. Sure she can be cool when she's not showing her true colors, but she can't own up to what she's done and take responsibility, and instead says she apologizes and then makes an entire tumblr blog dedicated to shit talking others and calling any other sims 4 equine communities/servers "competition". Your server isn't the only one, ma'am. Which shows one of the posts she's made on it below:

Secondly; what you're doing IS making a drama post by keeping it going. If it truly bothered you, just ignore it and keep going on with your life than wasting your energy on making an entire blog to be nasty towards others? You made your point, you block them, you go on, not have your 'friends' stalk them to keep you up to date with what's happening and keep stirring the pot by adding to your hate blog. And you're not transphobic??

Uh, I hate to break it to you but this:

This is the definition of transphobic. How can you say you want to respect them, but you don't want to even call them by their pronouns? You OBVIOUSLY don't respect them enough if you refuse to call them what they go by. Calling them by their desired name is the bare minimum, but it don't mean you respect them.

This may be an opinion, but this is a HARMFUL one. There are no "two genders". If you believe in science, then obviously you're not studying it hard enough. Sex? There is at least six:

X – Roughly 1 in 2,000 to 1 in 5,000 people (Turner’s )

XX – Most common form of female

XXY – Roughly 1 in 500 to 1 in 1,000 people (Klinefelter)

XY – Most common form of male

XYY – Roughly 1 out of 1,000 people

XXXY – Roughly 1 in 18,000 to 1 in 50,000 births

"Sex refers to biological attributes that distinguish organisms as male, female, intersex and hermaphrodite. Gender is a social construct, encompassing various psychological and social characteristics that collectively define individuals as men, women, non-binary or trans, etc." So obviously you don't believe in science enough to actually do your research, I presume? Don't make an "opinion" if you've never done any research on this type of a topic.

Yes, this is how we will run our community by making sure the person that has hurt multiple people don't join back and cause more problems. If someone causes you trauma in your childhood and you finally get away, would you want them to just come back in your life? I don't think so. Somethings CAN be forgiven, but obviously this is a big thing that hurts a big community, and you can't even take responsibility and give a lame apology to actually apologize for hurting others, but instead just to cover your tracks and protect yourself, along with "clearing out people who don't feel serves the server any purpose anymore" and in the midst of your breakdown, you ban this person who didn't do ANYTHING except check their balance because you weren't happy at the time.

Oh, by the way, here's the thing that I was referring to with the competition and once again dragging another server down in this "quote unquote" not a drama post. No one is poaching members from the server, they're doing that on their own. They're not going to stay in a server with someone they don't feel comfortable with. But AI generated logos? I was there during the time and I don't remember any AI generated logos? I remember a conversation about AI generated images and Jocelyn not agreeing with banning them or not seeing anything wrong with it and not seeing the point in getting angry over it.

No one attacked the server, Jocelyn. Everything that's been said was towards you who has ruined the server for everyone, even to the point removing general because you couldn't handle being called out and instead was lashing out at the others and acting the victim in the chat, deleting anything that even mentioned it or asked a question. OH! And kicking someone out of the server for simply asking a question for you to clarify what you said.

Only server I've ever had to walk on eggshells and scared to interact on was in Equiliberty - but that was because of you, and that's why I left. I was scared to interact after your little meltdown because if someone said anything there was a possibility of getting banned for no reason. But these servers? They feel truly like home and not once has there been any problems, and they actually listen to the members when there's a suggestion made.

Anywho, onto yet another post she had made!

No one has made accounts just to harass you - it's more like you who has done that, huh? And useless tumblr posts? It's pretty useful to me to avoid someone like you who can't seem to let things go and keep it going and not even take responsibility of your actions.

Quite sad you won't even take in other peoples words when trying to tell you there isn't just "two genders". No one is making the LGBTQ+ more important than the "other factors" but we're tired of not being taken serious and being brushed aside as if we're nothing but garbage. Yes, we all matter equally, but to go out of your own way to downsize the importance of this is quite astonishing. To be going around saying "it's just my opinion" and very clearly saying you won't be calling someone by their pronouns because what YOU see isn't what they identify or feel like or even "pass" as but yet you still "respect" them really shows the type of person you are and to lie to cover your own ass too on top of it. Uh huh. I sure as all hell don't feel respected, you've lost all my respect for you.

Many people have posted straight from the source of where things were said and done, so you're right! Never assume! People know who you truly are now, ma'am.

And here she is with her saying her other accounts have been deleted and ofc this being her first post! Totally not drama posts, right?? RIGHT?? So, there's my proof of her verifying this whole blog is dedicated to harassing others and talking shit and trying to turn it around on the ones who tell and show the truth. Have a good life Jocelyn, but sooner or later, others who are sticking around you and protecting you will realize who you truly are.

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive childhoods can make us feel like we’re fundamentally unlovable, but also, like there’s maybe a chance that we will become lovable, but only if we do x and y and fix x and z in ourselves. We’re not allowed even to ask for any attention or acceptance until we do these exact steps, because if we do, we’ll just get reprimanded for not doing those steps.

And it can be really idiotic things, like, you have to look a certain way, you have to respond a certain way, you aren’t allowed to have any trauma or any symptoms or emotional wounds, you’re not supposed to be emotional or get upset, ever, or be justly angry when the situation calls for it, and you have to do everything perfectly on your first time, never get tired of being devalued, ignored, neglected and excluded, never think of yourself first, be exceptional at sensing everyone’s needs and fixing them, never have any needs of your own, never have opinions that clashes with someone else’s, each and every one of these does not describe a human being. None of this is a pre-requirement for being loved. If you can’t be any of this, that means you’re normal, you’re human, you’re incredibly lovable.

It goes beyond childhood as well; once you attempt to enter adulthood, you’ll easily get informed that you’ll be looked down upon (that translates to ‘unlovable’ to us) if you are not independent, extremely skilled, having a job, always fun to be around, in a relationship, into the same things everyone else is into, social, looking a certain way - you’ll get told that without these qualities, you’re low value, to be ignored and cast aside. It can make you feel like you’re not even allowed to be proud of yourself, you’re not allowed to even like yourself, for who you are! If feels again, like you’re fundamentally a failure and that everyone else must be right not to like you or want to be around you, because you’re ‘no good’ and ‘only a burden’.

But this also isn’t true. None of these qualities are a pre-requirement for being loved either. And I know this, because I know people who have none of these qualities, and they are loved. All of these things are based on a construct, and we do not love others based on how well they can fit to a construct, or based on how well they can obey us.

We love others because it’s in our nature as a social species. We like spending time around humans who are warm, who have kindness in their hearts, who pose no threat to us; who are capable of making us think, or making us laugh sometimes. We bond based on experiences together, situations we worked thru together, helping each other. We like sharing our happiness and grief alike, we like knowing there’s someone we can rely on when we’re lost, confused, or alone in our troubles. We also like seeing others being free to be who they are, we like spontaneous joy and passionate ideas, we like to be engaged and be filled with hope, or even just enjoy moments that would pass unnoticed if someone else didn’t point them out. We like knowing someone else’s opinions and perspectives, we like feeling like we’re alike. We like hearing stories. We like witnessing things together.

And none of this demands for any of the participants to have a certain skill, job, appearance, behaviour. Not for any of this do you need to be subservient, convenient, or perfect. You’ve been lied to. You’ve been good as you are, capable of bonding and being loved the whole time. There was nothing that needed to be fixed.

People are loved when they’re struggling. People are being loved when they’re sick, addicted, impoverished, demanding, imposing. People are even loved when they’re manipulative and abusive. So you are not unlovable. Convenience is not the key of love. You do not have to maximize how convenient you are to everyone in order to be loved. You are lacking in nothing.