#'how can they hear me say those words//and still they dont believe me?'
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
dickarchivist · 2 days ago
Text
I've got you
Clone OC Banshee × GN-Reader
Word Count: 727
Prompt: "back hugs" from @littlemissmanga and "comfort fic for nonverbal reader" from @nika6q
Song: Get You The Moon by Kina (feat. Snøw)
Rating: PG, but as always Minors DNI 🔞
Contents and Warnings: hurt/comfort, light swearing, Banshee kicks a door down in the name of love.
Summary: It's been a long time since Banshee's been home, and the stress of life has you overwhelmed at the worst possible time: right when Banshee gets home.
Author's Notes: another Banshee POV!!! Some hurt/comfort this day. Sorry it's so short, and not at all what I've been saying I'd write next, but at least it's something.
Taglist: @returnofthepineapple @wizardofrozz @eclec-tech @dystopicjumpsuit @clonethirstingisreal @wings-and-beskar @multi-fan-dom-madness @starrylothcat @n0vqni @sev-on-kamino @mythical-illustrator @523rdrebel @littlemissmanga @atomickidsoul @moonwreckd
"Hey Ban~ Today is day 43 of our tragic separation, you're millions of miles away, and it's not fair. So today at work..."
"Day 55 of "No Banshee hugs for me". Seriously, when are you coming home? I miss you. Anyway, my Tooka came back from the vet today- oh right, I adopted a tooka kitten yesterday, I bet you can't guess what I named him-"
"Day 97, Rai told me you miss me. I just... I wish I could hear it from you. I know, I know it's not easy, I know you don't talk, I just-- I'd do anything to have you with me, just so I could understand that you miss me..."
"Day 122... I wish you'd come home..."
I've been listening to your recordings every day since I was deployed. All 132 of them. Every single day since we left, you sent me a diary of your day, stars I can't tell you how much I needed every single one of those. Running through battle fire, hearing you laugh about what "Banbino" was doing. I can't believe you named your tooka after me.
I've thought about you every second of the days. How your hair is tossed in the morning, how you scrunch your nose at how I make Caf... don't be mad, but I still haven't learned how to make it proper. The way your voice sounds and feels when you put my hands on your throat and chest, so I can feel every way you say you love me... I've thought about being with you again since the second I turned to leave 132 days ago.
So why am I stuck behind your front door? I can't even raise my hand to knock. Can't even enter the code to your flat... it's my number, you told me that so long ago now... I've been keeping track, I know it's your day off, I know you're just right behind this damn door so why can't I open it!? Come on Banshee! Open the door! Open the damn door, they're right on the other side, just open--
I... I heard that. Did you fall? Are you hurt? No, no don't be hurt I'm so bad at medical. C'mon, karkin' door open! Remind me to fix your locks, I'll replace them, I swear. Oh fuck, the hinges too, I uh... I kicked a little too hard, I think...
"Ban...?" You're crying... why... why are you crying?
When you hold your arms out to me, I dont even take a full step forward before you recoil and cover your face with a racking sob. I don't stop moving. I can't, you need me. I get to one knee behind you and gently rub your back, but it only makes you curl in on yourself more... what can I do for you?
Carefully I sit behind you, and collect you up in my arms, your back pressed to my chest. With my helmet off, I put my head on your shoulder, "I've got you, Cyare... I'm here."
You sound like me a moment, trying to talk, trying to force words. I shush you, leaning my head on yours and swaying softly. Eventually, you turn around, and bury your face in my neck. When I hum, you start to relax in my arms, and eventually, I can't help the little chuckle in my throat. You're snoring... Stars I love you.
It's another hour before you wake up. I moved us to your bed, and had since changed into the civvies you'd gotten me. Softer clothes, I figured you'd like it more than my hard armor...
"Banshee? You're... you're really home? I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry for-- I-I was just- I was so--" your blush when I press my lips to yours, it's so warm I could feel it on my own skin.
"I... it's okay, y-you don't ha-have to expl-pl-plain." Your eyes shine at the sound of my voice... I wish I could talk better, I'd speak for you all the time. "I've g-got you, Cyare."
You nod and set your head back on my chest. As I hum again, you join in, mumbling the words under your breath when you feel up to it. Take your time, Cyare. I know how hard it is to talk, I'm not going anywhere.
18 notes · View notes
skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
Text
Oh my god....Strollonso are so "The Boy With The Thorn in His Side" coded
7 notes · View notes
mostly-imagines · 2 months ago
Text
answering a question nobody asked: what are jason's love languages ranked?
giving:
5 ) gift giving is bottom tier for him. i just dont see how he could value that more than any of the above because of the way he grew up. like material things and money seem like something he’d reject more than anything to me. but he does still give you presents, of course. he’ll buy you flowers randomly and jewelry and little things he’d noticed you admiring. but i dont think he really does it as a method of expressing his love for you so much as just like a little nice thing to do for you. its not his preferred method of communication, at least.
4 ) a little lower on the list comes words of affirmation because i don’t think it comes as naturally to him. he’s a man of few words and those chosen are caked in sarcasm and dry in a way that attempts to push people away, even if he doesn’t mean to. i just think his words can be rough around the edges even if his meaning isn’t. when he can work through it though, his words are very gentle and genuine. not one for hyperbole but really truly means what he says. he hears that you’re insecure about how a dress looks on you and he’s telling you to ‘shut up, you look good.’ or you’re nervous and he’ll say “you’re fine, don’t worry about it.” to someone else’s ears it might sound dismissive but you know that not how he means it. there’s a lot of unsaid words with him that are more significant than whats coming out of his mouth. like i said though, only like level 10 acquaintances and you will ever know him well enough to decipher those secret meanings.
3 ) he tends to treat himself like a loner, pulling away from people like second nature, but after he met you he found himself wanting to be around you all the time. he’s not the best with words or romantic gestures so quality time is an easier way of reminding you he loves you. he likes just sitting with you and letting you ramble about your day—listening to your voice is a big part of his calming down process every night. but sitting in comfortable silence with you is probably his favorite. he doesn’t get that with a lot of people. silence—sure; comfortable—not so much. he loves the implied intimacy and trust of quietly cooking, napping together, or doing your own things in the same space.
2 ) physical touch is another big one for him. only unlockable after entering a relationship with him. he does it for a lot of reasons, common ones include: as a reminder that he’s there, to ease anxiety (yours or his own), as a sort of fidget, or if he’s feeling a little possessive. its honestly going to shock his family how much he initiates touch with you. he’ll shove them off of him when they try to hug him and is likely to throw hands if they get too touchy. so when they meet you for the first time and he’s squeezing your hand in his the whole night, shoulder to shoulder with you—they’re surprised, to say the least. as time goes on they start to notice that he looks borderline uncomfortable when he’s not touching you—like he doesn’t know what to do with his body. his favorite ways to touch you (non sexually) include: keeping you pressed back to his chest, having your leg hooked atop his when you’re sitting hanging out, hand on the back of your neck, and hands on your hips are a must.
1 ) jason's prime method of communication is through acts of service. he fully believes it’s his responsibility to take care of you and doing things for you comes very naturally to him anyways. he’s known to refuse to let you carry things, let you have the comfortable chair, give you the last of his snack, that kind of thing. he also wants to make your life easier as much as possible—he’ll insist on you telling him about things you need, especially things you aren’t able to do yourself. you never ever have to hire a guy to come look at anything broken in your apartment, jason’s got that shit under wraps. he’d honestly be a little hurt if you did. he’s got a wide array of skills under his belt, he can fix leaky pipes, install locks, build furniture, repair cars, you name it.
receiving:
5 ) he always appreciates getting gifts from you but it’s not necessarily his preferred way of receiving your love. gift giving and acts of service are bottom tier because they’re the only ones that he feels like are taking away from you. costing you money or energy, wasting it on him—he doesn’t want you to do that. he can’t feel loved by the gesture when he’s busy concerning himself with the idea that he’s putting you out for it. when you do give him gifts he likes it most when they’re little things, especially things that you made. make him a friendship bracelet, a simple painting, a fucking paper crane—he’ll love it. with things like that, it makes him really happy to see how excited you are to show him and that’s when he feels the love from you.
4 ) it’s always a little hit or miss with acts of service. he has a hard time accepting help, especially from you. he tends to feel like its his job to take care of you and if you have to help him, he’s doing something wrong. the best way to perform acts of service for him is through littler things. cooking his favorite dinner, checking up on how his stitches are healing, covering him up when its cold and he’s too busy/stubborn to go get a blanket. don’t make a whole thing about it, just do it and he’ll notice and he’ll be thinking about it for a while.
3 ) for the same reasons as mentioned earlier, he loves quality time with you. he prefers being on the receiving end of it though because he is a little insecure and absolutely loves when you go out of your way to spend time with him. tell him you want to be around him, tell him you miss him, tell him you’re happy he’s here. warning: he might cry.
2 ) you’ll notice this one because his breath will literally hitch. physical touch is one of the most prominent methods of affection in your relationship and he never gets used to it. the presence of just your head on his shoulder or your hand in his provides such a noticeable release of tension for him. he’s a huge huge fan of you tracing patterns anywhere on his skin, playing with his hair, and wrapping your arms around his middle so you can hold him close. climb on his lap unexpectedly and his heart will skip a few beats.
1 ) he won't ever admit it, but words of affirmation are his absolute biggest weakness. your boy has a praise kink, but i also think it's difficult for him to accept that so you have to be subtle about it and work up. it gets him really blushy and if you can manage to get him talking, he’s stammering. he can’t hold eye contact for shit when you call him pretty and it’s very amusing to you to see such a quick and drastic shift in his disposition. things that have straight up put him out of commission include: calling him “my pretty boy,” or “sweet boy,” “you always take such good care of me,” “you’re so strong,” “you’re the love of my life.” “i’m proud of you” will literally put him on his knees.
1K notes · View notes
mooooonnnzz · 3 months ago
Note
I saw your earlier post on Platonic fics and Im a sucker for them so here u go : father figure stanford headcannons maybe takes place after he comes back from the portal, reader is an adventurous spirit that works at the shack and maybe secretly helped stan get his brother back? Idk im just throwing things here lol
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
You Know I Love You Still
Stanford x daughter!reader
💗 stanford dad hc!!
💗 i literally saw the request it and started writing and got a lil carried away 😭 its like half story half hc? if that makes sense
💗 requests r so open rn! i def dont have any fav requests… (anything platonic or familial will be the first ones i write i LOVE those types of requests)
💗 the age of the reader is young like 16/17? ik that lowkey contradicts with the time line but wtv STANFORD DAD HC!!
💗 it’s a little bit of everything? like it’s not only just reader and stanford, the twins r also included in some scenarios and also stan
💗 a big happy family 😭
💗 fem reader gulp i completely didnt realize until i was done that i used she/her when referring to the reader
💗 next fic will use gender neutral pronouns I SWUEAR!!
💗2k words
💗 i apologize for rhe misspell and mistakes i didnt catch in advance
Working together with your Uncle Stan to build the portal to bring your dad back to the right dimension was tiresome. Nights were sleepless and many of them were spent in the underground lab, where you and Stan did everything possible to assemble the portal. Trying to keep such a secret away from the twins and Soos was unexpectedly hard. The knowledge of hiding someone so vital to you and to your Uncle Stan was weighing down on you and him. Then came the day where his awaited arrival was promised. You could barely sleep that night. You thought of so many different possibilities and scenarios of how you would greet him. Would he remember you? Did he ever miss you? Does he even love you?!
The next day came in like a tornado and before you knew it, you were protectively standing in front of the button; trying your absolute hardest to prevent the twins from pressing the button.
“Why do you guys want to stop the portal so badly!” You yelled over the loud swirling wind that emitted from the portal. “Because it’s dangerous!” Dipper retorted, using his arm to shield him from the debris whizzing past him. “G-Grunkle Stan isn’t who he says he is!” Dipper said, stepping closer to you.
“Whatever you guys saw or heard isn’t what you think it is! Please, you need to believe me.” You begged, your eyes brimming with tears. You’ve worked so hard to get this portal up and running and you weren’t going to let Dipper or anyone stop you from being able to see your dad.
Soos came up from behind and wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry, dude.” He picked you up and took you away from the button. “Soos, no!” You thrashed around his hold. You pound your fists against his arms, hoping it’ll loosen his grip on you but nothing you did worked. No matter how much you begged and fought against him, he didn’t budge. He just held you closer to him, muttering ‘I’m Sorry’ under his breath.
“This all stops now!” Dipper raised his hand, palm flattened out, ready to push the button when Stan appeared at the doorway. “Don’t touch that button!”
He’s hunched forward, hand leaning on the frame of the doorway as he pants. Relief washes over you upon seeing Stan. Silence fills the room for a minute and all you can hear is your heart hammer against your ribcage. Stan walks towards Dipper, beckoning him to not press the button.
“If you just let me explain—“ He’s cut off by his watch repeatedly beeping. Suddenly the ground begins to shake.
The portal powers up and the circle enlarges. The electricity spazzes and travels throughout the room, creating streaks of electrical power. Your feet lift off the ground and soon everyone’s floating up in the air. The wind is fierce and it’s whipping through every direction, pushing you towards the wall.
Dipper yells at Mable to turn off the portal before it causes anymore damage. She tugs herself closer to the button using a stray cable and while she wraps herself around the neck holding up the button, Stan is begging her to listen to him and to not press the button. He’s soon tackled by Soos who pushes him away from Mable. They all fight with each other and you’re watching with a bated breath.
The portal pulses with power, sending you back first into the wall. Stan and Dipper bicker back and forth and Mable is torn with the decision of either believing her brother or her Grunkle. She lowers her hand, eyes closed and you're almost convinced she’s going to press the button when she lets go of the button. She floats up with her arms raised. “Grunkle Stan, I believe you.” She says.
“Mable, are you crazy?! We’re all gonna—!”
The world flashes white and you're immediately knocked out. You awaken to yourself plummeting face first down to the floor. You groan, pushing yourself up with one hand and the other wiping off the dust on your face. Looking around you can see your family scattered around the room, each of them slowly waking up from whatever happened and stumbling back to their feet.
Your head quickly whips towards the portal and your heart lurches into your throat upon seeing a figure step out of it. He stands still, staring straight ahead as he takes off his hood and goggles. And what hid behind them was your father.
After the initial shock of meeting the one behind the three books and the reveal of him being related to Stan was pushed aside, you presented yourself with the help of Stan. “H-Hi, Dad.” You awkwardly greet yourself.
His eyes stop on you and he freezes, eyes blown wide and mouth slightly ajar. He takes a minute to process the absurdity of the situation before he’s snapping back to consciousness. He blinks once, his mouth stuttering as he finds the right words to say. He then blinks again, stepping a cautious step towards you. Your name softly spills out of his mouth and your heart soars hearing your Dad finally utter your name again.
You take a step forward and then another and another until you’re face to face with him. Being closer to him allowed you to see how much he has aged since the last time you saw him. “Dad…” You whisper, throwing yourself into him.
A light wheeze escapes his mouth from the sudden impact of your body crashing on him. Once he recovers, his arms are quickly wrapped around you, hugging you with so much warmth and love you almost sobbed right then and there.
He snuggled his face against your hair, breathing in your familiar scent he missed so dearly while he was away. “We have so much to catch up on.” You say so quietly that he almost lost your words if it wasn’t for you being directly near his ear. He hums in affirmation, cherishing the long awaited reunion with his daughter.
“I feel like this is another part where one of us faints again.” Mable says in utter disbelief at the scene that unfolded in front of her. “Ohoh!” Soos laughed out. “I’m so on it, dudes.” As if on command his eyes roll to the back of his head and he faints flat on his back.
HEADCANON TIME!!
• You weren’t really expecting to talk to him much due to Stan wanting to talk to his brother, but after their fight, he came looking for you. When he found you, you were sitting on the couch that was outside on the porch. You were reading a book you recently purchased from the bookstore. Nose deep in your book, you failed to realize Ford standing beside you. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his trench coat. Quietly he asked, “Is there room for one more?”
• The night was spent with the two of you getting to know each other. From your favorite color to your favorite show, what food you like to eat and so on. Ford wanted to fully understand and know you as a person. He wanted to make up all the years he lost with you.
• The next day, you awoke to the smell of your favorite breakfast food being cooked. With haste you pushed your blanket off of you and slipped on your slippers and sped off into the kitchen where Ford was buttering the pan. He looked over to you and flashed you a smile. “I made you your favorite.” He said, motioning over to the table where he laid out your breakfast. “You didn’t have to do this.” You scratched your cheek, a small laugh of surprise leaving you. “I’m just doing what I always dreamed of doing.” He shoveled out his breakfast onto his plate using a spatula. “How’s the food, kiddo?” He asks, placing the pan and spatula on the dirty side of the sink. “Actually pretty good for someone who hasn't been in this dimension for over a decade!” You jest, taking another delicious bite from your breakfast. Ford jokingly rolled his eyes, ruffling your hair as he walked past you and sat down on his chair. “Already poking fun at me.” He said, shaking his head.
• Stanford knew he had to focus on his projects, he had so many things he left unfinished that he'd been dying to get his hands on the minute he stepped foot into his dimension. But he couldn’t seem to pull himself away from you. He loved seeing you interact with the twins, he loved watching how pieces of his personality shone through you. Like the way you’re so meticulous with where you put things, or how you were forever curious about the things around you, and even the abundance of questions you’d mutter to yourself as you discovered something new. That’s all of him right there, in front of him and he couldn’t grasp such a thought that you were his!
• He finds himself gazing upon baby photos Stan took of you when you were younger. Even if he’s angry at his twin currently, he’s forever grateful that he documented such beautiful memories in a scrapbook. “Y’know, I used to tell stories about you to her.” A shriek leaves Ford. He jumps forward, the scrapbook tumbling down his lap and onto the floor. “You idiot! Be careful.” Stan sneered, kneeling down to the floor to pick up the scrapbook. “Stanley!” Ford leans his head back, trying to regain his composure. “You scared me!” He says. “Yeah, yeah. I know.” Stan waves him off, grabbing the scrapbook and tucking it in between his arms. They stand in awkward silence, eyes darting around the place uneasily. “Did…” Ford starts, shattering the silence. “Did she like the stories you told of me?” Stan smiles fondly, nodding his head. “She loved them. She thought you were some stupid amazing superhero, no matter what I told her.” Ford furrowed his brows. “Wait, what do you mean by no matter what you told her?” Stan nervously laughed. “Hey, why don’t you keep looking at these photos! Wait here, look at this one. Haha! She’s trying to eat her toes, isn’t that adorable?” “Stanley.”
• Outings between the two of you were very common. He loved being tugged around the town of Gravity Falls by you as you pointed at various different shops and locations. You told him the reasons why you hated them or loved them, and some were tied to stories that happened within the summer. He seriously questioned how you and the twins survived so many times where you were just so close to death. The mall was a place where you and him resided the most. With the money he took from Stan, he paid for almost everything you wanted. Entering the shack with so many bags was a shock to everyone. “Woah! Did you buy the whole mall?” Mable jokes, grabbing one of the bags to help you with the load. “Basically,” you laughed, instructing Mable to rally Soos and Dipper to have a little haul of what you bought. Stan watched with a raised brow as you stumbled into the living room with Mable following closely behind. “Where did you get all the money to buy her all of that?” Stan asks. “Just stole some money from some hobo.” Ford said, walking into the living room to join in on the haul. Stan didn’t understand what he said and opened the cash register. When he saw all the money he had stored the day before gone, it all clicked.
• Adventures out in the woods is a must. Gathering the twins and your dad, all four of you venture out into the woods in hopes to find something new. “Why couldn’t Grunkle Stan tag along with us?” Mable asked as she kneeled down to pluck a flower from the dirt. “Because he’s being a wet towel.” Dipper muttered, scribbling down a rough drawing of the flower Mable was picking in a book you bought him. “So what kind of anomalies you three stumbled upon?” Ford questioned. You and the twins began to dump everything onto him, from when you started seeing them to when Dipper and Mable came. Ford couldn’t truly focus on what they were saying, mostly because it was a jumbled excited mess of words, but partially because he was astonished with the trio in front of him. They went through so much and yet they’re still so headstrong. He could definitely see a little bit of him in Dipper and Mable.
• Stan would find you and Ford fallen asleep on the couch or in his lab, all huddled up together and completely knocked out. Snores filled the room and he found it amusing that you and him both snores the same. Videos and photos were definitely taken by Mable.
• Ford would tell stories of his adventures in another dimension to you. Stemming from how he started from the ground up to him getting banned from many other dimensions for stealing parts. “You’re not so different from Uncle Stan,” You laughed, shaking your head. “What! It was only a few…hundred dimensions.”
• There’s times where you’d wake up in a cold sweat, afraid that your Dad finally coming back was just a painful dream your brain played on you. But when you would get ready to find him, you’d step on his stomach or back. “Ough!” Ford groaned out in pain. Being suddenly woken up from his sleep, he sat up, looking around confused. “What are you doing sleeping on the floor?” You sat back down on your bed, pulling the blankets over you. “Is there a problem with me sleeping on the floor?” Ford asks, looking at you with squinted eyes. “No, no.” You laid back down on your bed. “Go back to sleep. I’m better now,” You say, somewhat amused with Ford sleeping on the floor beside your bed. “Goodnight, I love you.” You brush your fingers playfully across his face to annoy him. He shoves your fingers away from his face, huffing out. “Goodnight,” He shuffles to his side, looking up to you with a small smile. “I love you more, kiddo.”
933 notes · View notes
katiascraft · 18 days ago
Text
"Tryna feel it like a compliment? It's feeling like the opposite" | LN4
Parings: Lando Norris x reader.
Summary: you go to a mutual friend's birthday party. You and Lando broke up a few months ago. He has a new girl and she looks nothing like you.
PART 2 -> "SUE ME"
Word count: +1,7k.
Now playing: "Opposite" by Sabrina Carpenter.
Warnings: angst. Not a native english speaker so there could be errors. Not proofread.
a/n: hey again :3 Dont forget to like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“Are you sure you’re ready to go y/n? We can stay otherwise. No pressure my love” your best friend said lovingly to you.
The both of you were invited to a friend’s birthday party. Both of you are already dressed up and beautiful. The thing was that Lando was also going to the party too. And that was nerve breaking for you.
You haven’t seen Lando in months. Exactly 5 months since you both decided to end the 2 year relationship you’ve built. It was the worst break up you’ve ever gone through. And you’re not even over him yet. And to be honest it was more his devotion than yours. That hurt like hell.
He said he didn’t love you anymore and there was no point in pushing something that was already off. You still have nightmares of him saying that. Nothing hurt you more than that moment. Those words. His lips said it. His eyes looked straight through you - seeing you breaking as each letter he pronounced.
You didn’t think you were ready to see him again. But at the same time you needed to see him. It was sort of a test you wanted to put yourself through. A self destructive one. You knew it was gonna be touchy but you also wished you could reconnect.
You nodded to your bestie. “I wanna go. If something goes wrong I’ll pay the taxi. Don’t worry” you said confidently. Even though you wanted to throw up already because of the anxiety you were feeling. Your friend giggled a little. She gave you a confidence hug.
“You look incredible. If I were Lando I would choke with my drink and die” she joked to make you laugh. You did a little. But hearing his name shattered you inside. She took your hand que got out of her house.
The Uber drove fastly to the party. It was a busy London night but the party was going to be on the outsides of the city. Which in this case didn't help getting that fast to the party. But it was what it was. The two of you paid the Uber in cash and got out of the car.
The first people receiving you both at the party were clearly already drunk. You don’t see Lando yet and that made you think that maybe he didn’t come. Just the thought of it made you feel calmer. You followed your friend to where George and Carmen, his girlfriend, were dancing with the group of friends. even Lewis Hamilton was there. You say hi to everyone with a big smile and hugged all of them. You were starting to feel happy that Lando didn’t come. Or at least you wanted to convince yourself of that.
You didn't remember how many hours have passed since you got to the party and started drinking. You were dancing in the middle of the dance floor with an unknown guy you met on the bar. Everything was fine until you saw right behind the guy what you didn’t expect nor you didn’t want to believe you saw.
It was Lando. With another girl. Kissing. Like crazy.
You felt your heart skip a bit. Even you felt breathless. You stopped dancing in shock processing the view you had.
Your heart was shattering every second that passed by looking at him with another girl.
She looked nothing like you. Blonde shiny hair. Flawless face with big lips. You just couldn’t take it.
All the times he said you were the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. He used to say that your looks didn’t compare to anyone. Yet there he was with the opposite of you. You felt so little in that room full of people. You thought the world was crumbling down while you saw him laughing with her. He even blushed nervously just how you made him feel back then.
You couldn’t move. You didn’t know how to continue your life properly. You were still so in love with him. He was the love of your life. You loved every single detail of him. You couldn’t stop dreaming of his eyes or about his laugh. You dream of being happily ever after with him. When you were together you thought you were end game. Nothing could break you. But then he stopped loving you.
He didn’t love you anymore.
Now he loves this girl.
Has he ever loved you? Did he tell the truth? Was he honest?
You woke from the trance because your friend came to rescue you with Carmen. They try to talk to you to check on you but in that instant you find Lando’s eyes looking straight to you. His smile disappeared when he saw you. And when that happened you just wanted to cry really bad. You tried to hold it together but you couldn’t. You couldn’t stare at him anymore. You couldn’t bear the pain you were feeling now.
You sprinted straight to the bathroom followed by your best friend and Carmen. You didn’t want to cause a scene but you couldn’t control your anxiety. You wanted to stop existen right there and then. You wanted to disappear. You felt ashamed.
How could you think he would love to be back with you? To the life you had together?
You were never the love of his life nor the woman of his dreams.
He looked happy, something you now know you couldn’t do.
Your friend tried to calm you down but you were just a waterfall of tears. Carmen tried to talk to you to make you feel better but you couldn’t listen. You just listen to all the negative thoughts that were eating you alive.
He stayed with you just to find someone who is the opposite to you. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was going on and on in your head making the scar grow bigger and bigger.
When you were back to reality you just hugged your best friend. You needed her. She knew all of your feelings. She has been there with you all along. Along with all of the pain you felt since Lando walked away. You have grieved your future self since then. You wanted a life with Lando. A life that now didn’t exist and would never exist.
After a few minutes you could calm yourself down. Carmen and your friend fixed your makeup and tried to make you feel better. But you just wanted to go home.
“I’ll call an Uber. I need to go home. I can’t stay” I said to my friend and she nodded.
“Of course. Don’t wanna see you like this. Everything it’s going to be okay. I’ll call it” she said softly and stroked your hair.
You all got out of the bathroom and Carmen helped to pick your stuff up. Your friend was trying to get an Uber. You were so nervous to be out again at the party and seeing him again. So Carmen suggested you go outside while your friend finds an Uber who accepts to take you home. You agreed and went outside.
Out there you found a bench available so you sat there and started scrolling your Twitter on your phone. After a while you felt someone sitting next to you. When you looked up it was Lando. You felt terrible. He smiled a little.
“Hey… you okay?” He asked quietly. He looked nervous. You two were. The tension was high between you both. You feel uncomfortable. You’ve never felt like that with him around before. That made your heart break again. You swallow hard.
“Yeah…” you said shortly. He nodded looking around avoiding your sight. You breathe heavily. He licked his lips.
“You look beautiful” he said, finally looking at you. You just stared at the ground. Was he for real? He is with another girl looking so different and he has the audacity to call me beautiful? You felt angry. You were so hurt and he was making it worse.
You looked at him with no facial expressions. “How can you say that to me when you’re dating her?” The words left your mouth without thought. But you didn’t feel bad about it. His face showed how surprised he felt by your question. “Don’t look at me like that, Lando. What’s your intention coming here and calling me beautiful when you already have another girl and she looks the opposite to me? Go fuck yourself. You really don’t care about me. You never did. You wouldn’t be here if you would” you were furious. so hurt. You needed to scream at him but controlled your tone just because the situation it’s not where that should happen. His eyes went wide.
“Y/n I don’t know what you are talking about! Yes I’m dating another girl so? You are beautiful to me I just wanted to talk to you” he said defensively. You rolled your eyes and stood up in front of him.
“I hate you. You are dead to me. What do you want to know about me? That I’m miserable since you said you didn’t love me anymore so you can be proud of yourself for breaking my heart? Or you wanted to pretend ya never happened? Go fuck yourself. My friend was right about you. You’re a fucking player. I should’ve listened to them. So I wouldn’t be this fucking broken. Hope you’re happy Lando.” You said having enough of this. You felt very offended by his attempt of you didn’t know what. When you stormed out you bumped into his new girl and spilled her drink all over her shiny silver dress.
“Sorry not sorry” you said to her not caring a fuck about her or her dress or her night. He replaced you so easily. You were blinded by hatred and pain. She told you something but you didn’t hear. You took your best friend and got her out of the party too.
“What happened?” She asked worried, finally finding an Uber who accepted to pick you both up. You sigh so stressed. Adrenaline was pushing hard on your veins.
“Lando talked to me and I just told him to fuck off” you said even surprising yourself for doing such thing.
“Oh shit” your best friend said.
——————————————————————————————
I really wanted Lando to win COTA 😭. Franco was so good though - love him!!!
Hope you liked it 💌 if you ideas my inbox is open so leave your requests!
438 notes · View notes
poisonedprose · 1 year ago
Text
₊˚✧ happy trail — in which leon's happy trail drives you wild
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
leon kennedy x afab!reader
warnings: 0.9k words, smut, inspired by @ouchvns !! (this post), established relationship, pet names (baby, princess), curse words, oral (m), unprotected sex, p in v, soft dom!leon, slight degrading, choking (f), slight biting kink, (m having, f recieving), i dont caare how innactuate this is idc idc idc its rael to me🤤
masterlists
Tumblr media
You stir awake at the sound of your boyfriend getting ready for work. The sun was barely starting to rise and you had fallen asleep late last night. He was really gonna hear it this time. Well, that was until you rolled over and trailed your eyes over his shirtless body. 
"Did I wake you? I'm sorry." He sounds sincere as he struggles to put his belt through the loops of his pants. You watch as Leon fumbles with the belt but your eyes can't help but drift up ever so slightly. You roll your eyes and push your face into the pillow. Does he always have to be this hot? "What's got your panties in a twist this morning?" He chuckles lowly at your dramatic reaction. 
"Nothing." You mumble into the pillow. Leon laughs again and he's sure you're pouting into the pillow by now. "You can go back to sleep, you know." He's still oblivious to how much he’s turning you on. Moreover, how much his happy trail is turning you on. You roll onto your back again, deciding you needed air. He looks over at you, his belt finally around his hips, but still unbuckled.
His eyes roll over your body. Those shorts didn't look so short on you last night before bed. His eyes trail down to the comforter that was now half on the floor from your little temper tantrum. He walks over and picks it up, throwing it on the side that he should be sleeping in right now. You catch a glimpse of his unbuckled belt and it only makes your mind hazy with dirty thoughts. 
 "Do you have to be at work soon?" Your mouth says faster than your brain can think. "Not for another hour and a half. Why?" He responds calmly, totally unaware of what he was in for. "Do you have time for a quickie?" You bite your lip as you ask the question, and a smile appears on your face trying to sweeten the deal. His eyes go wide for a second as he processes what you're saying. "Right now?" He can't believe that you woke up this horny. (You didn't. It was his fault for being shirtless.)
You nod, hoping he'll say yes. As you wait for his answer your eyes can't help but drift from his face to his happy trail. "Come here." You smile happily and quickly crawl over to him. You waste no time unzipping his pants, pulling out his cock with record time. He lets out a laugh mixed with a moan when you eagerly take him in your mouth. He doesn't know what's gotten you so worked up but he doesn't complain. 
He places his hand on your head, pushing you just a little deeper on his cock. "Mmm, fuck baby." He moans as you run your tongue on the underside of his dick. Drool collects at the corner of your mouth as you suck him off like he's your favorite lollipop. Spoiler alert; he is. Your hands run over his happy trail, and suddenly it makes so much more sense to him. "God, you're such a slut for me. I love it."
You pull off his cock with a pop, a smile on your face as you look up at him. He had so many things he wanted to say to you. Many of them were teases for how happily you took his cock down your throat or how enticed you were by his happy trail. But he was so caught up in lust, he couldn't bring himself to say any of them. "All fours, please." He commands and you obey, your shorts riding up more than they should. 
He slides your shorts and underwear down in one fell swoop. "So pretty." He mumbles as he leaves soft kisses on your ass before lining himself up with your entrance. He slides his cock into your tight pussy, groaning lustfully and he wraps a hand loosely around your throat and pushes you against his chest as he pounds into your cunt.
Jumbled up words mixed with whimpers fall from your lips. His cock is fucking so deep inside of you, and his hand around your throat just fits like a necklace. "Mmm, so pretty, baby. Your pussy was made just f'r me." He moans into your ear, his voice deep, sexy, and full of need, just how you like it. "Takin' it s'good, yeah?" He chucked against your jaw, leaving rushes kisses.
Your jumbled words and whimpers soon turn to Leon's name. "Leon, Leon, oh fuck, Leon!" Your voice is so loud, he can't help but let your words ring through his ears. "Does it feel good, baby?" You can feel his cocky smirk on your jaw but you nod anyway. 
You can tell he's close as his moans turn into whines. "Gonna fill y'up. Gonna fill your pretty pussy with my cum." He whines into your ear. "Is that okay, baby?" He asks sweetly compared to what he said moments ago. "Please. Please cum in me!" His fingers meet your clit, rubbing pleasurable circles with ease.
"How could I say no to my beautiful princess?" He sinks his teeth into your shoulder as he cums. He continues to fuck into you and rub your clit until you cum. Practically screaming his name loud enough for his neighbors to hear as you do. He catches his breath before he pulls out, letting you fall back to your position on all fours. 
He watches as his cum drips out of you, pride swelling his chest. "Now, I don't want to go to work. Look what you did." He groans as he fingers his cum back into you. "Then stay." You wiggle your ass tauntingly and he can't see it but he just knows your smirking. "You're such a bad girl. I love it." He chuckles as he pulls his belt off. 
Tumblr media
‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎┊ㅤㅤ💋 ㅤㅤ ゚ㅤㅤ ┊‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎
1K notes · View notes
im-am-not-a-weenie · 10 months ago
Text
🍓period comfort
This is self indulgent 😃.
Reader is AFAB and I will be using she/her pronouns
shout out to all the girlies who don't like taking medicine and just power through it the cramps.
hinting at period sex with astarion, yknow how it is
spelling errors <3
see end for a/n
Gale, Astarion, halsin,
🍓Gale
you felt like shit. utter shit. if you didn't believe in the gods now you did because you've been praying for them to end your suffering hours ago. you were curled up in a ball in the corner of your tent
"Love, are you in here?'' your pity party was interrupted by your darling boyfriend Gale.
you let out a grunt to signal that you were in fact under the heap of blankets in the corner, you could hear a faint chuckle and footsteps nearing you
Gale crouched down and his knees gave a loud pop which made you smile a bit. "are you ok?" he asked gently. you shook your head under the blankets. "can I see you please?" his voice soft and words kind
with a huff you peaked out through the blankets. "there she is" Feeling his hand tuck a piece of your hair away you looked up. "what seems to be the matter?"
"I'm dying" you groaned. he immediately removed all your blankets and began scanning your body for injuries. "what's hurt, are you ok. you should tell me when you get hurt. or at least see Shadowheart or Halsin-." he rambles on
grabbing his worried hand and bringing it up for a kiss getting him to stop his ramble. " I'm fine gale, is just my period" That got him to stop, "oh" his face flushed, and just looked at you for a few seconds
"Why didn't you say that" he left the tent. before you could even get up to check on him he was back with a small basket filled with different plants food and canteens
you made a face of disbelief "Where did you get all of that on such short notice" The only answer you received was "I'm a wizard" he started to pile the blankets back on you but this time joining you in the pile
"eat this" he gave you a purple looking plant "it'll help your cramps " he said gently, you just shook your head. "cmon it'll make you feel better" he prompted." "I know," you said with a shrug and just snuggled into him
"Dont want icky medicine" he wrapped his arms around you pulling you close "Then what do you want" his hand started to play with your hair. "you" he let out a soft chuckle "That I can do"
you lay there in comfortable silence before Gale interrupted it. "you know I will make you eat that later right." you giggled "I'd like to see you try Wizard Boy."
spoiler alert, you ate the plant
🍓Astarion
let's be honest. he could care less (lies). astarion is one of those people who passively aggressively takes care of you
in a similar fashion you were in your tent curled up on the floor before astarion rudely barged in. "what are you still doing in bed." he asked dryly. you just groaned.
rolling his eyes he walked over and nudged you with his foot "Get up." looking up at him with a baffled expression you just stared at him "Did you just kick me?"
he scoffed "Darling I nudged you, you'll see kicking if you stay in bed any longer" he threatened with a smirk. "fuck off astarion i don't have to deal-" you cut yourself off with a groan as you doubled over and clutching your abdomen.
"stop being dramatic. it's not my fault you stayed up with Karlch and Wyll all night. you gave yourself the hangover now deal with it- why does it smell like blood in here." he looked confused and looked back down to you noticing how you clutching your lower stomach. it took a minute but finally, he connected the dots.
he sighed sitting on the ground and pulled you into his lap. "oh my poor dear." it was one of those rare occasions where his voice was soft and genuine
his hand trailed down and rested on your lower stomach. "does it hurt right here?" he asked softly as his other hand played with your hair. after answering with a simple nod he started to softly massage there trying to relieve some pressure.
"y'know," he said with a mischievous smile "you smell delicious right now. Gasping you hit him playfully "astarion." he giggled and held you tight against him. "come now dear we both know it wouldn't be the first time" he pressed a kiss on the top of your head
rolling your eyes fondly you giggled with him. "maybe later when I'm not feeling like I'm being stab." "of course darling, just think of it like an extra meal for me" that earned him another playful hit.
🍓Halsin
walking. sooooooooooo much walking, when will we stop walking. you think to yourself, you and your companions have been walking for almost the whole day, and for what. to look for a stupid necklace for a stupid-
"my heart are you alright" Internal monologue was interrupted by your mountain of a boyfriend Halsin. "No, I'm alright" quickly dismissing his worry. you didn't really want to do this quest but you knew the sooner you got it done the sooner you could make camp
he looked unsure but nodded making sure to slow his strides to walk with you. you felt his hand grasp yours. everything was fine until it wasn't, you felt a sharp pain in your uterus. you inhaled a deep breath and stopped moving, closing your eyes and trying to collect yourself
halsin stopped to observe you "Are....are you sure you're feeling well?" you felt a hand on your shoulder. your eyes met his, you gave him a reassuring smile "It's just cramps bear, I'll survive"
he looked at you worried "You started your cycle?" it made you laugh a tad. "no, not yet."
"then why-" "Halsin my love, I get cramps before during, and after. I'm fine" you explained calmly. another painful wave washed over you. this time Halsin picked you up and started walking in the opposite direction of anyone else
"Not that I'm complaining but what are you doing?" you giggled at the sudden lift. no matter how big you were Halsin made you feel small, but in a good way
"I'm taking you to camp," he said simply and left no room for arguments 'if you are suffering I'd rather you suffer in my arms in our bedroll' he kissed the top of your head.
you felt safe and loved, the rhythm of Halsin's steps made you drift to sleep. when you awoke you were wrapped up tightly in Halsin's arms, your bodies tangled together you smiled and kissed Halsin's cheek before falling asleep again
hey. i did it i posted on time. anyway, i hope yall liked this! it was purely self-indulgent. also thank you for all the love of my last post! I've never gotten that many notes before. my inbox is open for requests. and i also can write for other characters bg3. <3
666 notes · View notes
chososdiscordkitten · 11 months ago
Text
Obsessive!Choso♡ pt3
Tumblr media
pt 2 here content: Choso refers to reader as his gf- other than that no use of pronouns. mention of reader wearing lipstick, obsessive crush to stalker arc :>
(a.n) this is slowly becoming a fic and I don't hate it. I felt lack of inspo last night and did a deep dive into what stalkers do- the red flags before they start the actual stalking lol
taglist: @flam3bird
Obsessive!Choso who almost felt his heart burst when he saw you wave hi at him when you walked into class. Smile on your lips as you walk down to your seat. Hearing your friend speak a little louder than a whisper while taking a practice test, seeing you look back at him and make a face almost asking him, ‘can you believe what she's saying?’ before turning around again, watching your friend lean in close to you and keep pestering you. His eyes watching you turn your phone on under your desk, ‘During a test? What are you thinking-’ he thought, mentally scolding you.
Obsessive!Choso who almost died when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, pulling it out and seeing that you had texted him. ‘can u hear her from all the way over there ?’ reading it and hearing your voice. The realization of, ‘you were thinking of me?’ making him slouch in his seat, feeling his heavily pieced ears start to warm. Staring at your text, looking down at you, noticing you had the conversation still open. ‘Are you waiting for me?’ he asked you in his mind. Quickly screenshotting the notification before opening it, ‘yeah, i can.’ he typed, sending it and seeing you turn your head and smile at him. Seeing you look down at your phone, his heart beating quickly when he saw the typing bubble show up. ‘she keeps asking me what the answers are’, smiling when he saw that your auto capitalization was off, another thing you two had in common. ‘is this not a practice test?’ he typed, thinking how crazy it is that he was talking to you. To you! Person of his dreams, everything he wanted in a partner. You. The person who always greets him with a warm smile, who's always nice to him.
Obsessive!Choso whose heart skipped a beat when he saw you move your shoulders, indicating that you were trying not to laugh. ‘I make you laugh?’ looking down at his phone and seeing you had texted again. ‘dont think she knows that’  you replied, putting your phone away and getting back to the paper in front of you. Making sure to remember to ask you why you're friends with someone like that. ‘You're not the same kind of person- or even on the same level mentally. So why would you be friends with someone who does nothing but bother you?’  Thinking he knew everything about your friendship with this person. 
Obsessive!Choso who went to the campus coffee shop, in hopes that maybe you'd be there. Knowing from your instagram stories that you usually came to pick up a coffee after one of your classes. Only this time you weren't here. Pulling out his trifold wallet before paying, looking to see he didn't have any cash, trying to find his card. “Pretty girlfriend.” the cashier said, breaking the awkward silence while looking at the photo of you in his wallet. “Sorry?” he asked, looking at them when he found the piece of plastic. “Your girlfriend-” they continued, eyes pointing at the picture. The sentence made him flustered, not paying attention that some people notice small things like that. Smile on his face as he mumbled a quiet ‘I know.’ before tapping his card onto the screen. 
Obsessive!Choso kept those few words in his mind whenever he caught a glimpse of his wallpaper. ‘My girlfriend.’ he'd think, smile on his lips when he would refer to you as that.
Obsessive!Choso saw a picture of your laptop and a notebook next to it in your story. Knowing you were home, knowing that you were waiting for him to text you, you had to be right? Opening the google doc on his computer, seeing that you were on it as well. A few minutes of him watching your cursor type a sentence and delete it. Before seeing a message from the upper right corner of his screen. A message from you, ‘Hey, I know it's late. But I hit a wall with this stupid project- could I call you?’ he read, eyes widening at how right he was. Clearing his throat at how forward you were being. Call? As in on the phone with you? 
Obsessive!Choso who almost choked when he heard your voice on the phone. Pressing the phone closely to his ear, closing his eyes with a smile when he heard you say- “Heyyyy”, not being able to find the words to say to you. A small ‘hi’ leaving his throat. Hearing you let out a small giggle before hearing you place your phone down. “So i'm on the doc- and I saw you were on it too-” you started, Choso pictured you. Sitting in front of your laptop, smile on your face while speaking. He could tell by just your voice that you were smiling, smiling while talking to him.
Obsessive!Choso who desperately wanted to record the conversation- well, more like record your voice. He wasn't the one speaking a whole lot. You had gotten used to filling the silences he left in the air, being able to tell that he wasn't much of a talker. But little did you know that he was thinking longer replies, but only thinking them. Smiling when he’d hear you ask a question. You started reading aloud what you had written- making sure it sounded right. Choso accidentally let out a low ‘Mhm’ while hearing you read, closing his eyes in regret when he heard you stop. “You sound so different on the phone-” you started, almost a whisper. He exhaled quietly in relief when he heard your fingers start to press onto the keys of your computer. The call didn't last longer than 20 minutes, you just wanted to ask him his opinion on if what you had so far sounded smart or not. But in his mind, the only real reason you called was to speak to him- to hear him. 
Obsessive!Choso who felt like he could die when you told him ‘thank you’ for his help. But when you mumbled a tired, “Goodnight Choso-” before you hung up, made his cheeks flush and his heart pound in his chest. The first time you had ever said his name. Immediate regret filling his gut when he remembered he didn't record it. But he would always remember it, always keep it close to his heart in memory. 
Obsessive!Choso was walking to the campus coffee shop after class. Seeing you speaking to some guy- probably one of the so called friends you choose to surround yourself with. Slowing his pace when he saw you slowly backing away from him- and nodding no at him. Seeing this guy, reach for your arm, speaking over you as he stepped closer. Even from a distance he could see your face look uncomfortable. At that moment, Choso didn't know what came over him. He walked over- more like storming over. His face full of anger, slapping a sweet smile onto it when he saw you look over at him. “I was just about to go find you.” Making sure to keep a sweet tinge in his tone when he spoke to you. Smile of relief on your face when you saw him. Dark eyeshadow and combat boots almost making you feel safe. A quiet ‘hey’ trailed from your lips, feeling the stranger's hand fall from your arm, taking a step back. “Me too, I wanted to bring up-” you started. Rambling about what the professor had taught today, noticing the guy back off before walking away. Seeing you exhale before looking at his face. “Thank you.” you whispered, looking down at your shoes. “A friend?” he asked, his tone deeper than before. Using the same tone he spoke to you while on the phone. “Absolutely not-” you smiled, looking back up at him. “Just some guy from my public speaking class. He's been bothering me since the first day.” You laughed, seeing him crack a small smile, his hands fidgeting with his rings. “Are you busy? I was just about to go grab a coffee-” you started, looking away from him in the direction of the same coffee shop he was going to.
Obsessive!Choso who thought; ‘Aren't you forward. Trying to spend more time with me?’ as he nodded no, “I'm not.” he replied, his hands in his pockets.
Obsessive!Choso who was convinced you were starting to feel the same way he did, even if it was only a week since they paired you together. I mean, who would ask someone if they wanted to have coffee with you? “Sorry if you had plans- or whatever.” you started, walking slowly next to him. “I didn't.” he mumbled, hearing his boots drag onto the concrete. “The least I could do is buy you a coffee!” you exclaimed, ‘No need to thank me- who else but me will protect you from all the horrible men in the world?’ Choso thought, looking over to see you, remembering all the people who have been broken by men who didn't love them. Knowing that you would never have to worry about those silly things with him. 
Obsessive!Choso who purposefully switched the two coffees you had paid for- in hopes he'd be able to share an indirect kiss with you. Knowing if he tried to pay, you'd see the picture of yourself he had in his wallet. Sitting down at one of the round tables, heavily ringed hands around the cup as he looked at you pick up his coffee. Making a face when the sour taste hits your tongue. “I think they switched our cups-” You smiled, pushing his cup towards him. Seeing him mutter a feigned ‘Oh’ as he gave you the correct cup. His eyes focused on the light print of lipstick you had left on the black lid. “I could get you a new one- I know some people are huge germaphobes.” You smiled, taking a sip from your cup to wash the bitter taste from your mouth. “There are worse things in the world than sharing a drink with someone.” He murmured, slouching in his seat, seeing you give him a sweet smile in return.
Obsessive!Choso who took one sip of his coffee, only to assure you that it was okay that you had drank from it. Who felt his knee start to bounce with anticipation when he felt the satiny feeling of your lipstick on his bottom lip. Hearing words falling from your mouth, but not listening to them. Thoughts of how technically that was your first kiss with him. Seeing your phone light up on the table, hearing you sigh loudly. And it continued to light up- repeatedly. “Jesus- this girl doesn’t know how to take a hint.” You exhaled, picking up your phone and typing something. ‘Must be the girl from class.’ he thought.
Obsessive!Choso whose lips moved before his brain could process what he was saying. “The girl from class?” he asked, seeing you look up at him and smile. “Yeah- she keeps trying to come over to my house for a sleepover.” You placed your phone down, “That girl is the epitome of peaked in highschool.” You mumbled, Choso finally found an opportunity to ask you. “Why are you friends with her?” he questioned, seeing you inhale at his words. “I chose this college to get away from all the bullies and all the pretentious people who would live the same boring suburban lives.” You started, “And to become myself- to find myself.” You mumbled, looking away from him. “Imagine my disappointment when I got here and it was full of superficial delta chi’s-” You laughed, seeing him return a smile to you. Humming in response to your words. “I was never good with confrontation- The idea makes me anxious and uneasy.” seeing him look at you with his head in his hand. Eyes half lidded while listening to you. His pointer finger tracing doodles onto the table. Liking the way you opened up to him, letting him get to know you. Being able to hear your unfiltered thoughts, not the bullshit you over thought before you posted on your story. 
Obsessive!Choso who paid close attention to what you were saying, hanging onto every word that fell from your lips. Feeling yourself cringe at how you just aired out your business to someone who was practically a stranger, not knowing why it was so easy to speak to him. Somehow never sensing any judgment or lack of interest in what you said. Feeling a wave of relief whenever you were able to speak to him- a real person who didn't care about people's opinions. “Honestly I don't know why I'm still friends with her- I've tried to sit in other seats, hoping she wouldn't sit next to me in that class anymore.” You spoke, finally answering his question. ‘I know. I watched you every time you moved seats.’ Choso replied to your words mentally. “I think the reason I'm failing that class- is that I can't focus on what is being taught because she's in my ear the entire time.” You smiled, easing up on the heavy topic. ‘Aha. I knew you were failing- just like me.’
Obsessive!Choso wanted to suggest that you to sit next to him, knowing your childish friend won't follow you if you did. “Failing?” he asked, eyes scanning your features. “Yeah, I was hoping this-” You sighed, “stupid project would help my grade at least a little.” Closing your eyes and leaning back into your chair. ‘Ask me. Ask me and I'm yours. Ask me to help you.’ he thought, fighting off his excitement when you looked at him. Lightbulb practically popped up above your head, “You're doing good in class, aren't you?”  you asked, smile on your lips as he nodded yes without thinking. “I know that we were only paired for this assignment- but would you be ok with helping me study?” You smiled, eyes so bright he swore he could see the universe in them. “Of course.” He smiled, seeing you exhale and look down at the table with a smile.
Obsessive!Choso who almost let out a small giggle when he saw your face flush. ‘Are you- blushing?’ he asked himself. The question you asked him didn't make him nervous. He understood most of what was being taught, but he didn't have the energy to physically write the essays, and besides- Choso preferred spending his free time thinking of you. Not of the stupid course work that he didn't need for real life. Trying to get to know you better through your social media. Dissecting every single photo you posted. Zooming into the background of your bedroom, seeing if he could find anything worth researching. A band poster, a shirt on the floor, a stranded bottle of nail polish he could buy so he would match with you- anything that would let him see you. The real you- not the person that you pretended to be with the fake friends you had. The person he saw a flicker of that day at the cafe. The person you came to this college to become.
-
pt 4 here
(PLS LET ME KNOW IF U WANNA BE TAGGED IN THE NEXT PART PLSSSS) omg thank god I posted this. I am alr writing pt 4 I don't CARE. this is my new passion, wrote this while listening to 'Such Small Hands- La Dispute' Choso thinks this is all fun and games, what happens when he sees I am crazier than he is ?
576 notes · View notes
holdmymetaphor · 6 days ago
Text
okay heres some things about houses childhood i think about
theres clearly a few dynamics here
-he hates his father, resents the abuse, recognizes that bad things were done to him
-probably when he was very young, he didnt understand why bad things happened to him, was not intentionally A Bad Kid
-because he surmised his dad was not his dad at 12 i assume the abuse started from a young age.
-house mentions ice baths and sleeping outside, but he also mentions his father not speaking to him for months at a time, which is interesting to me. when house tries to qualify the severity of abuse to eve he says "not as bad as your [trauma] if how your acting about it shows how bad it is." which to me is pretty noncommittal. was he doing that bc he was still kind of lying, trying to get info out of her? if not, it seems like house is actually unsure of how to qualify his own abuse, which would lead me to believe it was largely emotional and verbal. although i suspect that his father did physically abuse him at times, to me this exchange implies that house thinks the ice baths and sleeping outside were the worse of it (interestingly both acting on his whole body and ability to regulate temperature)
-at some point he acts out intentionally, instead of unintentionally, bc his father is Wrong and shouldnt be abusing house in these ways(the fact that the thing he wanted to hear from his father was "you were right, you did the right thing" 😭😭)
-this leads to worse and more cruel punishments, which house both detests and wants to avoid repeating. furthering his resentment, but reinforcing his fathers authority
- despite his knowledge that his father is wrong, his dad claims to do these acts out of love, to teach dicipline, to toughen him up. (in this way his struggle with god is really an allegory of his father: is it better he hates me (i deserve pain) or loves me (i dont deserve pain) when he does awful things to me? or is it better for him to not exist at all (things just happen, there is no deserving)?
-in my perspective, especially as house got older, into his teens, he was actually probably really "well behaved" finally smart enough to fake social cues and swallow his pride so that his father wouldnt hit him or what have you (which is why he regresses to a child often as an adult, because he was not allowed those things)
its interesting to me, to see how all of houses character is shaped around the shadow of his father. the parts where he is similar: rigid, principled, yell-y, and where he is intentionally different: encourages independent thinking, respects challenges to his authority (only when he has authority lmao that all falls apart when people take his power(read:agency) away, his biggest trigger)
and none of this even gets into his mother, blythe (a word which means both happiness and bland disintrest) which is a whole nother can of worms. the fact that at the funeral she said that "the war was over" (which implied that no matter how much house actually listened to his father, there was still a part of him that couldnt help but to point out the logical issues, and therefore continued abuse)
lastlly, she had said that john loved him. which i think house believes to be true. especially when he tries to talk to his dead father in season 6, he says "i think i focus on the wrong things," implying that he did want to find some peace with that relationship, and that he wanted his fathers love, despite it being illogical, painful and confusing.
that he was willing to look past the abuse was shocking to me, because house is right his father shouldnt of abused him. but it was coming from a place of love, however ill concieved.
this is as close as we get to house praying to god. to admit that the suffering of life cannot be defied or denied, and grasp for the love nestled in between all the pain, however flawed, wrong, or illogical.
in a lot of ways, his story is so much about houses struggle with the body, its agency, its disability, its doom. he literally becomes a doctor to grasp with this ideologically (at times paradoxically) instead of physics because his question isnt really about existance in general
its about why he exists in the broken, painful way he does. and at the end of it, he sets down his need for an answer, righteousness, and admits that despite it all, his body cant help but love. and that love is the death of him. the end of his suffering.
57 notes · View notes
harrystylesfan2686 · 11 months ago
Text
Ferryman
Pairing: Azriel x Archeron!Reader.
Summary: (I have no idea how to summarize this.)
Warnings: slight mention of suicide and hating oneself.
A/N: This is an idea i got after watching TVD and Legacies. For those who dont know, Ferryman is a psychopomp, the ferryman of the Greek underworld, also known as Hades. He carries the souls of those who have been given funeral rites across the rivers Acheron and Styx, which separate the worlds of the living and the dead. This definition is taken from wikipedia. I changed the legand a little bit. I hope you like this. 🫶
Masterlist
○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●
My life changed entirely after me and my sisters were forced in the world of fae.
Being thrown in a cauldron and turned into a powerful being can be dreadful after having heard all the stories about fae. Hearing how cruel they were to humankind sure was terrifying but after knowing what they looked like and how they acted, I have different thoughts.
The man male, my sister married is one of the most powerful lords of Prythian. One that is so sweet to two of my sisters and so rude to the other.
After we were all thrown into the cauldron, we all got different powers along with our immortal bodies. As we slowly discovered our powers, we got our names too. Elain got named a Seer, discovering her ability of supernatural insight. Nesta became The Death Lady, because of her silver flames.
And I?
I became the Ferryman.
The one who connects the living world and after life. The one who carries souls to their finale destination after death. The anchor guilding the lost souls.
Every fae that dies has to touch me in order to go to the after life. Now while they have a painless journey, I on the other hand, feel everything they did while dying. When they touch me, I feel thier pain, distress, sadness and everything that filled them in their last moments.
At first I was alright with it. But it got tiring very quickly. Then I started despised it. And now? I'm petrified.
I fear it so much, I'm starting to hate myself. I dread my every living moment, just fearing that I will see a soul lurking around and will have to send them to the other side. Feeling thier pain and going through it all over again.
Everyday exactly like the one before. See a soul, touch, feel, hurt, and do it again and again with no end in sight.
Can't you just handle it and get over yourself?
Nesta had hissed at me when I tried to share my feelings to her. Indeed, she was in pain too but she isn't the only person our father's death has effected. I wasn't there that day. At least they got to see father for one last time before he died. I didn't. I was held up in a tent, following Rhysands commands, saying it's too dangerous for me out there.
Her cruel words still roam my head everytime I try to feel sorry for myself. I can't communicate my feelings to anyone anymore.
Feyre forced me to reveal myself one day and couldn't do anything else as she, too, doesn't understand what I go through everyday. She told me that she'll see what she can do and try to help me but hasn't said or done anything else so I believe nothing can be done about this except to accept it just as what it is.
I just suffer in silence and not tell anyone.
-☆-
I take a sip from the wine bottle I stole from Rhysand's finest wine stock, and rest it between my spread legs, holding the bottle from it's neck. I look down at the mountains beyond me. My legs dangling off as I sit on the balcony edge.
It's starfall tonight.
And I'm sitting on a balcony of the only room I saw empty. It only views is mountains, lining up from The House Of Wind, of all sizes and shapes.
It's a beautiful site.
Stars in the dark sky, shining down on the mountains and forests that rest between them. I can see nothing but the hills and the beautiful start sky. It's so peaceful not being around strangers and just staying here, lost in the nature, drinking wine and just being with your own thoughts.
"What are you doing here alone?" A deep voice asks behind me. I don't turn to see who it is, already knowing it is the Spymaster.
"What does it seem like?" I take another sip of the wine. The sound of boats against the floor, walking towards me. His presence looms behind me, his shadows already wrapping around me. They seem to like me. Always surrounding me whenever we are near. I raise my free hand to play with one.
"You going to fall." He grunts.
"Nothing's going to happen. It's not like I can die." I chuckle at the irony, the sound doesn't seem real.
It's true. I truly cannot die. I'm the anchor, after all. If I die, nobody is going to get their haven after life. I tried a few months ago, when I finally decided I couldn't live in this much pain my entire life. It didn't work. I'm still standing. I did end up with a lot of injuries though.
I take another sip.
"I hope you know you can talk to me whenever you want. We can sit without talking too." He sits beside me. Dangling his feet off of the edge too.
I silently offer him the wine bottle. He silently accepts. We sit there for god knows how long, just quietly passing the wine around and looking out in the sky. Drinking and enjoying one another's company in silence. I feel good, comfortable around him.
Suddenly stars start to move. Skiping through the sky, shimmering glitter. Colors of all kinds fill the sky. I breath out. My lips tug up on thier own, curling into a small smile I can not contain.
"It's truly beautiful, isn't it." My eyes on the stars when I speak to Azriel.
"It truly is." He whispers.
I force my eyes to move to him, noticing he's not looking at the sky.
He's looking at me.
His eyes on my face, switching between my eyes and lips. I feel a rush to my cheeks. For a minute we don't move at all. Just looking at each other, drinking in how we look under the sparkling colourfull stars.
We smile at the same time and look away from one another.
For the first time in a while, my face holds a genuine smile.
○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●
334 notes · View notes
cowboy-robooty · 6 months ago
Note
PruPan (Prussia x Japan) For the grid
Tumblr media
I know who sent this. I can smell your prupan and self-ship wif japan from a mile away **heart eyes emoji** thank you for being the only mf who wants to hear my opinions. anyways so i thought about it and realized actually prussia and japans dynamic is the greatest thing ever. Because see i believe in cuck japan romantically FOREVER. i think japan has like best broship in the platonic dating style (if you experience that shit you know what i mean) with america and like hes emotionally fulfilled from that but also he desperately wants a boyfriend or girlfriend or oysterfriend just anyone to have that shoujo romance and tentacle freak sideways tango with. but the thing is that he literally always fails and is in one-sided crushes Forever and always and its always japan crying to his best bro america about his fail ass love life and america is like lol couldnt be me! but it's fine because he still has his best bro and like yknow... its like how family and friendship is two different things that are both need. like moral orel about the f words (family, faith, friends) but with b. bros, booty, and bazinga... like idubbbz! (as long as you have one of those you won't be lonely). but anyways see i believe japans biggest crush of all is on italy and obviously prussia has his huge ginormous crush on italy too but like i think that actually they are aware of eachothers crushes but dont care because they dont see eachother as threats at all bc theyre like "omg this dude is so cooked he aint even competition lol i feel bad for him" towards eachother.
Tumblr media
and i think its actually really funny because see prussia is a desperate motherfucker and honestly not hard to pull at all. like if you have sex with him hes the type who goes "uhmm youre my boyfriend now right?" or if you confess to him hell take your feelings genuinely seriously and think about it and 90% of the time end up saying YES!!! I LIKE YOU TOO!!!!!! and japan is also desperate but he would literally date anybody Except prussia. like it's like how italy will fuck anybody Except Prussia. LIke japan could potentially get together with anybody under the right circumstances except prussia lol even if they were trapped in alkatraz together for 18 years he would never be prussia's prison boyfriend he just doesnt have the capacity to love him. and its really funny because prussia is literally the only mf who has the capacity to feel romantic love towards japan in a twist of horrible fate because japan pissed off cupid in his past life and will never ever fucking win at romance. The only conceivable way is if he asked out prussia but prussia is the only mf he would rather die a virgin with while stranded on an island for 3000 years with than fuck and try to repopulate the planet with yaoi babies. so yeah they compell me a lot in this sense because this is fucking hilarious and amazing and I'd like for them to act pitying to eachother about their crushes on italy bc they're like "mhm mhm yeah you have a chance (lying)" even though they both strapped in the same jigsaw trap lawl. but I dont think i ship them because of what i said above. thank you for sending this though this was some really good shit to think about and i think ill draw them interacting more because this is an incredible discovery.... best discovery since alfred wagner and the tectonic plates !
75 notes · View notes
iravinirattu · 1 year ago
Text
ik im late but im playing through kaveh's hangout event and. the haikaveh brainrot is real
since these losers can't do it themselves i am here to offer my translation services ‼️
Tumblr media
al haitham you liar. we are in a library using our indoor voices you did NOT hear us.
and even if you did mr. "i hate small talk" why'd u walk over hmm?? hmm??
"dont mind if i ignore you, i've got my earphones in" <- applies to everyone except kaveh
Tumblr media
"okay now that i've gotten him distracted tell me what's wrong so i can discreetly fix it"
mans literally sent kaveh away to boost his confidence a bit + find out if he was okay.
"you annoted those books with such long and beautiful notes that eveyone hated lolol anyways check out those shelfs where there's a book with someone appreciating ur notes"
i can't get over how many exceptions al haitham makes for kaveh. he's not heartless and cruel in the way i often see him portrayed... but at the same time his entire demeanor is "i respect you as a person but won't go out of my way to do things for you unless it benefits me"
like he's one of the only characters who isn't super super close with the traveler, at least that's how i see it in the voicelines! he respects them as a friend, would consider doing things for them if they asked, but that's about it really!
but KAVEH. for someone who enjoys a peaceful life and has such a rational and efficient way of working it theoretically makes no sense for him to do all the things he does for kaveh.
like sure "maybe the cheering up kaveh is just to avoid having to deal with him drunk later", but that's too roundabout of a demeanor to be al haitham's style. plus, if he really didn't want to deal with a drunk kaveh, he could just kick him out.
but he doesn't because he cares, and kaveh does not understand that because he has created a vision of what he thinks al haitham is in his head, and in that vision he, kaveh, has no value so why would haitham have him around?? clearly he's got ulterior motives.
and they won't move further until kaveh lets go of that vision, and he can only do that if he truly realises his own worth, and until then haitham's gonna have to keep pushing him towards that from the shadows.
Tumblr media
"he overworks himself, it's not healthy. he forgets the practicality of his ideals when he starts something, thinking he can pull through it, but reality hits him halfway. he can keep his ideals, that's fine, but i wish he was a bit more realistic about them."
Tumblr media
"and despite all of the above, despite wanting to uphold his artistic integrity, he still puts everyone's needs before his own."
Tumblr media
"his approach is too contradictory, and hence people don't see his talent. there are those who's resolve is so brash they are seen as confident and unshakable; and yet he who is more talented than them all falls behind because he's so easy to take advantage of."
al haitham taught me two new words today lol
irascible - someone with a quick temper
paragon - something viewed as a standard
Tumblr media
"if he wants things to change he needs to find a balance between compromise and resolve. there is no way to please everyone, but instead of accepting this, he thinks he can nullify it if he takes all the burden instead."
kaveh's altruism stems from his own self-hatred, moreso than his desire to help others. and while doing a good deed puts a smile on his face, the melancholy guilt that trips him when he doesn't is far greater.
Tumblr media
"if they are his ideals then i have no right to say anything about them. but he hurts himself so much as a result of that and i wish he would love himself a bit more."
al haitham has a great deal of respect for kaveh, not just as a scholar but as a person. and it's hard watching someone like that dig their own grave, and there's nothing you can do but wait in the sidelines, because they won't believe anything you say.
al haitham is constantly bickering with kaveh to get him to feel a little, challenge his ideals, find a way to make them work without sacrificing himself in return.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"at this poing talking to him is no use, he's convinced himself that his life only has purpose if it's in the hands of others. all people face hardships in life, but he seems to believe he deserves all he gets and more"
and then after kaveh is back he gives him space to talk about things that make him happy, and more importantly, appreciate himself.
how to tell kaveh i want to listen to his silly lil rants without sounding like a sap - al haitham's brain, probably
Tumblr media
al haitham knowing all of kaveh's little buttons, and pressing the right ones after determining his mood, so he can show kaveh he loves him but still sound like a bitch.
"you did so well. i am so proud, and i hope you are proud of yourself too."
and sometimes he does click the wrong one, but then immediately goes back on it, becomes soft(er than usual), offers reassurance, changes the topic, and so on
we saw this in the parade of providence event, when kaveh got legitimately upset at one of haitham's remarks and he immediately went into I HAVE UPSET MY BF recovery mode.
and what i love the most in all this is KAVEH'S DUMBASS IS SO OBLIVIOUS TO THIS LMAOOO
but also it's sad because the reason he's oblivious is because he doesn't think he's worth being cared for like that.
haikaveh's whole vibe is "i love you, but i'd much rather you love yourself first" and "i'm your one and only, your only exception, the one you'd break all your rules for" and i love it.
324 notes · View notes
laecrowa · 1 year ago
Text
Ripples Of Revelation
Tumblr media
guys i made this in the span of like the first episode of the show cause i needed to get some info this is actually trash
english is not my first language please be nice 😔🙏
Living in Kyoto is a different experience, especially when you’re a women, and a women who doesn’t come from a wealth like a princess who is lucky enough to marry a man she wants or to be married off to a wealthier family. Or if your a lady who isn’t wealthy and isn’t married you find yourself working in a brothel, luckily i haven’t come across that point since my father is my chaperone for the city and I’m still young.
Kyoto is very big and is home to the Shindo Dojo, the place where men who want to become samurai can train. So they can brag to the villagers and act like they are better than most even tho most cannot hold the blade correctly. They sit atop their horses and look down on the others acting as if they are worth.
Most times i’m grateful they ignore me and sometimes I have the utmost displeasure of hearing them say such nonsense to me in hopes of courting me. My father will not let them as he believes that I should find a strong and comfortable living man that will help me settle down comfortable and in hopes that I won’t end in a brothel. As the Shindo Dojo is here theres also the Shindo house the “whore house” as my mother used to call it when i was younger.
As me and my father walk by the Shindo house i see a man being grabbed on by the ladies. He looked as if he wasn’t expecting to be met in that manor and they looked as if they have been insulted then they look impressed. I turn my attention to the small puppet show that sits next to the brothel, which was interrupted by a big man bursted thru and breaking the stand. he looks to the man with the large hat and then back at me causing the man in the large hat to look at me. Tilting my head slightly before moving on next to my father who also saw the scene he smiles before looking forward.
“what? what’s with that look?” I look at my father as he laughs slightly. “that boy, he seems different hmm i saw that look in your eye. You should try and find him later huh?” i stop in my steps and soon after he does as well and smiles while turning to look at me. “I have no clue or reason on why you think that. We had only locked eyes for a second there is no reason for me to think that in any way he is different and I will not be finding him later you are crazy.” he looks at me trying to find any flaw in my face or voice as i speak on the subject. He laughs and tells me to move on and to continue walking to sell.
After a while of selling my father pushes me along to find something near the Shindo Dojo, as i walk along closer to the gates i see the man in the large hat. I move myself along in hopes for him to not see me and follow him. Slowly creepy from behind him a good 20 paces behind and out of his sight he leave Kyoto. I think to myself whether i should follow or go back but i think back to what my father says, and what he didn’t say. He usually says something along the lines of how “that boy is trouble” or “dont get yourself wrapped up with men like those” but no he says that he’s different and i cannot help but agree sometimes is definitely different about this young man.
Was is the glasses? maybe the large hat or maybe it was the fact that you feel more attracted to him then any other man had made you feel to them in the whole village that you’ve been in for so long. Had that man with the large hat make you feel like every other man is stupid, surly not he hadn’t even say a word to you let alone look at you for more then 5 seconds. It’s completely silly but i find myself still walking out of the gates hoping that he won’t turn around and find me following him like a stalker. Would he kill me for even looking at him for to long?
As I continued to follow him I find myself going deeper into the woods I loose him for a moment. I curse at myself for looking away for a moment and not knowing what turn he had made, it’s dark and already hard to see with the trees in the way. I look around frantically and I hear water from a small lake.
I slowly walk to the river, he would have probably went by the river to clean himself off. I was correct i see his head sticking out the water and *snap* fuck, i walk out all the way and put my hands up in the air to show i mean no problems. He steps out the water completely naked with his sword out and my eyes wander around his body and…
Am i attracted to women?
96 notes · View notes
giddythekitty · 1 month ago
Text
Let’s talk about scripting for a moment.
Disclaimer: I’m not telling you what to script, this is something genuinely important. Btw it’s important for baby shifters especially.
So, as a baby shifter, or even an experienced shifter, we all have our DRs. We all script for them, wether it’s mental, digital, written down, etc.
Sometimes we see a new show or read a new book and we want to shift there, right? We make a backstory, a personality, a faceclaim, powers, friendships, whatever you want in there.
And this is why you need to think, and I mean really think about what you script.
Let me give an example, bacause it’s important to visualize and ask yourself if you want it:
I’ve deleted like 10 of my scripts and modified a few others for one simple reason—projection. And it wasn’t because I was bored or because I didn’t like them, it’s because I either didn’t actually want them, I made them too traumatizing, and/or wrote down my issues and view on this reality as a script.
Let’s go with something simple: wings and flight. And think about it really well. Did you get those wings or were you born with them? Did you learn how to fly, did you already know, or do you still don’t know how to fly and are yet to learn?
If you answer with “still dont know how to fly and are yet to learn”, let’s expand on that(even if you didn’t, please keep reading because it’s relevant).
Say this is the first one with wings and you genuinely want to learn. After that you can have other drs where you have wings and you’ll be fine, right? You learned it, so you know it. But if this is a reoccurring pattern, and you are still yet to fly in two or more drs, then it might just be how you feel. Trapped. After all, the saying goes “a flightless bird is a dead bird” or maybe “a flightless dragon is a dead dragon”. You might be feeling like you have no way out of this reality, like you’ll never shift, and so on.
So how do we fix that? Words of affirmation.
They are important for a reason. Remember, your 4D matters more than the 3D because your subconscious can’t feel or see or hear the same as you do. If you say you’re pretty, then you’re gorgeous or handsome or whatever is inbetween. If you say you can shift, you can shift. And the longer you repeat that to yourself, wether written down, said out loud or even in front of a mirror, your mindset will change. “Gaslight yourself till you believe it”, “It’s the law of assumption” they are all the same.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are the god of your own reality. What you say is true matters more than what others say. Your word is final, and no one will ever change that.
I have yet to see people adress this kind of important information about shifting, and I decided to do it myself.
Remember, shifting is a path of self-discovery. It takes your hand and gets you back on your feet, it gets you away from the edge of depression or anything else that’s negative or even self destructive. It gets you your confidence back, it boosts your self-esteem, because you are the key to your reality. Not dr, not cr, nor wr. Your reality. Your truth.
I am begging you, keep going. Don’t give up. Do not give up. Shifting came to you for a reason, and you are special. Not everyone can comprehend the reality of just how powerful they are, and here you are. And no matter how hard your life is, how hard you work to open your eyes there, I am proud of you. You deserve so much, and this reality has done you no justice. “If you want it done right, do it yourself”. So be your own savior, because you deserve to be happy.
Happy shifting
23 notes · View notes
fandxmslxt69 · 1 year ago
Text
Lesson Not Learnt
Loki Laufeyson x f!reader
Tumblr media
Warnings: Loki he's a warning. SMUT SMUT SMUT LIKE FILTHY SMUT. Swearing, a lot of sex, like a lot lot, um...oral (m and f receiving), praise a LOT of degradation (dont look at me like that) umm. Literally just. Smut okay disgusting filthy stuff
A/N: So this took well over a month to finish (wayyy more) and I don't know if I like it because its umm definitely a lot? TO BE FAIR I took like weeks worth of sexual frustration and dumped it all out here so :/ It in fact did go off script and I just..went a little crazy ngl. it's definitely a lot. But :D umm oh!! I'm gonna tag whoever seemed interested in the snippet I posted like a million years ago but PLEASE DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO READ <3
-Clem
Synopsis: Despite how many times Loki told you to behave yourself before this party, you couldn't help causing a little bit of trouble. (or, alternatively, friendly flirting with Matt causes Loki to flip out and fuck you to heaven and back)
Word count: 3.9k (omfg...)
MINORS DNI BEYOND THIS POINT
Tied to the bed, legs spread wide open.
Hours of merciless torture.
Or hours of endless pleasure and pain. 
Your mind spiralled with image after image, each worse than the last. You could barely focus on the task at hand, the actual setting up to the big finale. 
You knew it was wrong.
You knew how risky it was to tick him off. You knew it would only be your downfall. But Loki always made that punishment too sweet for you to stay away from. 
You stood at the bar, fingers tapping on your thigh. It was one of those big Avengers nights, tonight you were all treated to Tony’s nice collection of drinks, and a loud party. 
You had every intention of behaving for the night. You could still hear Loki’s whisper as his hands moved up your thighs and under your skirt, be good tonight, and maybe you’ll get a reward hm?
Your legs squeezed together at the memory. But you knew he knew that as soon as you walked downstairs you’d do everything not to behave like he asked. 
So there you were, shamelessly flirting with one of Natasha’s old friends- Matt.  He was attractive, no one could deny that, and he went along with you perfectly, every move well placed. They did always say he was too aware of his surroundings. 
He took a sip of his drink, smirking slightly. “I think everyone in this party can feel the jealousy oozing off of him,”  You shrugged. “Good. Means we’re doing it right, aren’t we?” “Hm. You know I came here with every intention not to die tonight,” You chuckled. “You won’t, he wouldn’t do that,” He raised an eyebrow. “Really?” You paused. “....Well.” “Mhm, I pro-” “Murdock.” Loki’s cold voice sliced right through the conversation. He looked collected, but you swore you saw a storm growing in those gorgeous eyes. You felt him move behind you, his body caging around your smaller frame, arm rested and leaning against the bar. 
You kept your eyes trained on your hands in your lap. 
“I believe this is my girlfriend you’re talking to, no?” “Laufeyson,” Matt took another drink. “What can I say, the conversation was interesting,” “And here I thought you were a respectable man,” Loki tsked. “But I must say, it did look very interesting.” He leaned down, lips grazing your ear. “Were you keeping Mr. Murdock quite entertained, pet?”  Your breath caught in your throat. “I-..um.” Matt hummed quietly, a laugh clearly starting to build up inside of him. “I think I’ll..be going now. Enjoy the rest of your night folks,” There was definitely something in his tone there. You threw a sharp glare at him as he walked away. 
It’s silent between you and Loki for a second, before he grabs you by the arm tightly, pulling you out of your seat. “Let’s go.” He said firmly. 
You frowned as he started walking, and with how tall and quick he was, you felt like you were going to trip and face-plant. “Slow down. Go where?” “We’re going before you get yourself into any more trouble,” He gritted out as you walked down the hallway.  You were heading to his room!! “Trouble?” You scoffed. “I wasn’t even in trouble,” 
Instantly, he pushed you against the wall, his hands planted on either side of your head, his body so close, his face was merely inches from yours, and the fury in his eyes sent shivers down your spine. “Oh? Is that so, pet?” He spat. “You think you aren’t in trouble? Not even after flirting so shamelessly with Murdock? Like a whore?” 
You inhaled sharply, feeling your thin panties start to soak from his words. “It…it was friendly flirting. I was just making conversation,”  “Don’t lie to me, darling. I know what friendly flirting looks like, and it was not that. You were getting nice and close, hm? Did you want him to know how much of a slut you are? Or were you just wanting to rile me up, hoping I’d swoop in to take you away and fuck you until you can’t even think anymore?”
You felt a blush creep up your body, his words shouldn’t be affecting you this much, but the way his voice dripped with anger and hints of lust, the way his grip tightened on your arm you were sure it might bruise. You felt pathetic, being so turned on by his words, it was marvellous how he’s studied you and memorised you so well he knows just what to say to get you in the right trap.  “No I-” Before you could finish your sentence, he finally takes you to his room, practically throwing you at the bed and slamming the door shut. He points to a chair in the room. “Sit.”  You sat up, the covers on the bed wrinkling under your touch. “What?” “Sit. Now. Are you too dumb to understand such simple commands? Will I need to repeat them as if I were talking to a dog?” 
You quickly scrambled up, rushing and taking a seat in the chair without further arguments. This was a new side you’d never seen of him. You could feel your heartbeat pick up as Loki watched you with darkened eyes. Your nerves felt like they were vibrating inside of you, you couldn’t sit still even if you tried, the excitement was too much. 
He sighed then, and started carefully unbuttoning his shirt. You sat up straighter, leaning in. He stops midway, before discarding his suit jacket and taking a seat on the bed, scooting to the back and dramatically laying on his back. You frowned, not sure where this was going until he slipped a hand into his pants. You let out a quiet gasp, leaning in forward to get a better look. You could see the outlines of him slowly stroking himself, and you could feel arousal pooling between your thighs. You watched in full attention, your body getting up on its own, eager to go over and please him yourself. “Stay in the chair.” Loki spoke, his voice laced in pleasure. He shot you a glare, before adding, “And no touching yourself,” 
You felt something tighten in your lower stomach as you sat back down. “What? That’s not fair!” “Oh I think it’s very fair, darling. Especially after what you pulled downstairs,”  “That’s different!” You grumbled, yet still moved back to the chair.  “Mm…I don’t think it is,” He mumbled before getting lost in the moment, his hand moving faster under his pants as he leaned his head back and groaned. You felt like bursting into flames. He sounded so pretty and it was unfair that you weren’t pulling those noises from him yourself.  “Loki,” You started, digging your nails into your thigh. “Please take off your pants Loki- I wanna see,”  He groaned louder, his free hand gripping the sheets tightly. “I don’t know if you’ve been good enough for that,” You made a noise of protest. “Loki! Please, I asked nicely, didn't I?! I’m doing everything you’re asking!” He sighed, pulling his hand reluctantly out of his pants and quickly discarding his clothes before laying back down elegantly, naked and glorious. His hard cock stood to wide attention, the tip red and angry and so desperate for attention- attention you craved to give it. “Better, pet?” You nodded, eyes fixed on him. “Yeah…” You breathed out. You could see his lips curve into a smirk before his hand wrapped around his cock again, slowly gliding along it and pumping. He let out a shuddery breath, his eyes fluttering shut. You watched intently, your eyes never leaving his body for a second as you took in every detail, from the soft lines of his body to the small buck of his hips as he neared his climax. 
You squirmed in your seat, trying to keep your pathetic whimpers at bay. He just looked so goddamn gorgeous, the way he looked blissful and caught in the moment. You couldn’t stop the question tumbling from your mouth, “Are you thinking of me when you’re touching yourself like that?” 
He let out a near feral sound. “Fuck- yes. Always, you’re all I see. Every time, I just wish it was you on your knees, taking all of me in your mouth like a good slut. My good little slut.” 
Fuuuck.
You shifted in your place, squeezing your thighs tightly together. You were absolutely positive the panties you wore right now were going to be thrown in the garbage by the end of the night.  You whined. “Then let me help you! I’ll be a good slut, right? Please. I’ll be really good!”  He chuckled, pausing to move to the edge of the bed and sit. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes shadowed with lust. “Mm, I bet you would, wouldn’t you?” “Yes!” You got up quickly, eager to get closer to him. “I would be really-” He didn’t let you finish your sentence, because midway through he snapped his fingers and cast an illusion- an illusion of you. It sat on its knees right between his thighs, and wasted no time to lean in and take Loki in its mouth with an obscene amount of noise. Loki groaned loudly, throwing his head back in pleasure. 
You felt your mind just…shut down. You stood there in shock as you watched the scene unfold right before you. You stared, you couldn’t help it. It intrigued you, in a sense. Did he do this often? Whatever it was, the illusion was definitely professional with the way Loki was moaning. “Oh fuck-” You inched back slowly, sitting back down before your knees gave out. Everything ached. You ached to touch him, to feel him, to please him- you ached for his entire being to be pressed so close to you that you shared the same breath. 
He pulled the illusion’s hair, wasting no time to start fucking her throat harshly. It was cruel, what he was doing. He knew just how desperate you get to please him and he enjoyed watching you squirm too much. He lasts a few minutes before his hips halt as he hits his climax, floating in bliss. He looked angelic, to say the least, his face flushed as he let out a sigh of content. The illusion melted away instantly, and Loki shifted back properly onto the bed, a look of fake pity on his face. “Tsk, poor pet. Are you feeling lonely?” You nodded, trying to find a comfortable position to sit in. He tsked again. “Come here then,” You immediately shot to your feet, rushing over to his side without hesitation. “Sit, darling.” Not a request, not a question, simply a demand. An order, one you were more than happy to obey. You quickly took off your dress, slipped out of your soaked panties and bra. You got onto the bed, carefully hovering over him.  “Go ahead, darling,” He grabbed your waist tightly, letting you lower yourself onto him at your own pace. He knows you have limits, but the way you were dripping wet, it didn’t take long before he was flush inside of you. He ran a hand up along your thigh, humming as he watched you with a lustful gaze. “Such a good girl, hm? Think you deserve some fun now?”
You nodded, feeling the burn of the stretch fade into pleasure. He squeezed your hips gently, slowly helping you find a good starting pace. You should’ve been a little suspicious for letting you out of trouble so easily, but you couldn’t find the energy to care right now, you just needed more. You tried picking up your own pace, to ride him faster but naturally, Loki wasn’t done with you. He held you tightly in place, a pathetic look of sympathy on his face. “Oh no, I don’t think so,” “What?!” You punched his chest lightly. “Loki please-”  “No, darling. You don’t get to go around flirting with other people and expect me to be nice to you after. You should’ve known better,” “Lokiii,” You whined. “It was a joke! You know I didn’t mean it!” “But do I?” He thrust his hips up lazily. “A joke, hm? You wanted me to get upset?” You shook your head, trying to move your hips but his grip on you wasn’t letting up. “No, I don't believe that. I think you wanted this, didn’t you? You wanted me to get all angry so I could fuck you senseless? To play with you like the dumb toy you are?” He groaned, feeling you clench around him at his words. He couldn’t keep this self control act up. “Fuck- why don’t you show me how sorry you are, hm? You wanted to be a useless whore, show me how good you are then.” He loosened his grip on your hips, giving you the freedom to ride him. You quickly take control of the freedom, eager to feel the slow climb of pleasure, but all there was were few sparks that light and blow out almost immediately. You could feel frustration start to bubble up inside of you as Loki lazily thrust up into you every now and then. He was making no effort to help, and you felt ready to crawl out of your own skin.  “Loki,” You groaned. “It’s not working,” “So?” He looked infuriating, smirking up at you with blown out eyes and a light flush on his cheeks. What. An. Ass. “I need help! Please-” “Oh no,” he chuckled. “You can keep going,” You whined. “Loki! It’ll take ages, I’ll give up right now,” The sound he made was damn near a growl as his hands tightened on your hips. “You are in no position to make threats, pet. You misbehaved, now you deal with the consequences. Argue again and it’ll be much worse,”  You grumbled, but the threat sent a shiver through you. “Sir please,”  His grip suddenly turned bruising, his eyes wide in an almost feral need. “Oh? You’re using sir now, are you?” You nodded quickly, trying to build up to your high again. “Y-yeah...thought you liked it?” “You’re right,” He started as one of his hands drifted lower, flicking a teasing finger over your clit. You were so desperate the slight action alone ripped a moan out of you. “I do. But I also know you’re only saying it to look like a good girl,”  You choked out a cry, needing another touch so badly you’d start crying for it. Not that he’d have anything against the idea of you in tears for him… “I’m not! Loki p-please please I need you so bad please sir-” You blabbered.
He can’t resist you, he’s never been able to, so you supposed it was why he gave in so quickly. He snapped his hips up to meet yours, sending a shockwave of pleasure rippling through you. 
You moaned, digging your nails into his chest. “Th-thank you sir,” You managed to choke out. He makes a sound of disapproval as he holds you down in place, fucking into you at an unforgiving pace. You moaned loudly, feeling the knot of pleasure intensify in your stomach as he hit deeper and deeper. He took one hand off your waist, reaching in between your bodies and pressing down harshly on your clit. It didn’t take long for the pleasure to wash over you in mind blowing waves. “Loki! F-fuck Loki-” You moaned louder, breathing heavily as he pushed you through your high and pushed through his. You were sure that the people through the halls could hear from how loud Loki was, but he sounded so pretty, muttering sweet nothings to you, you couldn’t be bothered to care. He flipped you over, pinning your hands above your head with one hand as the other gripped your waist, his hips relentless as they smacked into you over and over again. 
You withered under him, tears welling up in your eyes from the intensity. You leaned up a little, pressing your lips tightly to his to drown out your cries. He eagerly kisses you back, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth. He pulled away after a bit to catch his breath, his lips with a light bruise on them. “You’re doing so well, princess. Such a good little whore,” He said before kissing you again, letting go of your wrists to wrap his hand around your throat. 
This was definitely your fucktoy moment.
He was just using as he pleased, taking and taking until he was satisfied. He picked you up and flipped you around, forcing you on your hands and knees. He’s still got one hand around your neck as the other one palms your ass as he continued to fuck you roughly. You had lost track of everything. Everything but the feel of his skin touching yours, his heavy ragged breathing, and how wonderful it felt to have him buried so deeply inside of you. All you could think of was how the pleasure was blending with a pain that was absolutely delicious. 
You could tell he was close from the way his thrusts started getting a little sloppy, and his breathing ragged as his hands roamed across your body, trailing messy kisses down your back. You moaned loudly, pressing yourself back against him as you felt the pit of your stomach tighten, the waves of pleasure crashing through you. Your arms wobble, threatening to give out from your exhaustion. He groaned as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, keeping you in place as he reached his own release, his hips stilling as he came with a shuddered gasp. He breathed heavily, pulling you from your hips to sit up and press your back against him. Your bodies were slick in sweat, chests heaving. You could feel your mind slowly grow hazy from the pleasure- it always happened with Loki. He knew how to work your body better than you could’ve ever thought possible, and only after a few rounds you felt your mind slip into the cloudy haze of pleasure and float in clouds of joy as he kept having his way. 
You had thought today might be different, perhaps he’d deny you that calming bliss- but it seemed just the excitement from his show earlier and this was enough to send you flying. 
He pressed wet kisses on your shoulder, his lips trailing up your neck as he sucked and bit lightly, leaving small love marks littered across your shoulders. 
“Loki-...” Your breath hitched when his lips kissed over your pulse. His tongue dragged over the skin loosely before he started sucking on the spot. You knew there’d be a dark bruise there in the morning. “Loki…” You started again but your words dissolved into a mumble of confusion and frankly, a bit of hurt when he lifted you off of him. You felt empty without him in you, and it was a feeling you did not enjoy. He laid you gently on the bed, leaving your legs spread open for him as he hovered over you. “Shhh,” He pressed a kiss to your jaw, another under your ear, one on your cheek, another messy and quick at the corner of your mouth. His messy hair tickled your face, but all of that was lost when you felt his finger slowly rubbing your clit. You gasped, your head falling back on his shoulder.  “Loki-” “Shhh, pet. I know you can give me another. You can, can’t you? Such a good girl, you’ll let me pull one more out of you, yes?” His skilled finger pressed on your bundle of nerves, sending an electric shock of pleasure coursing through your body. You moaned, torn between moving away from him or begging him for more.  You felt like you were going to explode- he was both too close and too far. You wanted more, but your body wanted to shy away from his touch, the sensitivity making your whole body tremble.  He lowered his face, kissing down your body as his fingers continued their work. His lips left soft kisses on your quivering thighs before starting to suck on your clit. A cry fell from your lips and your hands flew to fist his hair, tugging at it as the feel of his fingers and tongue became overwhelming. You couldn’t think of anything but the growing feeling of pleasure pooling at the pit of your stomach, and the god before you as he wasted no efforts to continue devouring you, the sinful squelching sounds making your brain go haywire. Your eyes pricked with tears, your pussy feeling too sensitive from his relentless attacks.  It’s pathetic how quickly you came again, and as he slowly worked you through your high, you knew for a fact you would not be able to do anything tomorrow but stay in bed and sleep.  You felt completely and utterly wasted and used and you felt a bit of relief trickle in when Loki finally pulled away from your aching cunt, a satisfied smile on his lips. 
He leaned in and kissed you, and you could taste yourself on his lips. You were both breathless when he pulled away, and if you had the energy you’d reach up and run a hand through his hair, working on detangling every strand. You hummed happily, feeling your mind drifting dangerously close to the edges of sleep. “Mm,” Loki kissed you again. “My precious girl. You did so good darling, let’s get you cleaned up, shall we? C’mon, up you go,”  You chuckled lightly, feeling your eyelids get heavy. “Loki-..I literally can’t even move my finger,”  He laughed, and you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. “Did I tire you out too much?” “Yes,” You mumbled. “I’m not getting up,” “Very well,” You felt the bed shift, and suddenly it felt cold without him near. “Loki come back,” You got no answer. You yawned, your eyes drifting open and close with every passing second.  When he did finally come back, you were but a step away from blissful rest. You heard him chuckle, and you frowned deeply but refused to open your eyes. 
“That tired, hm? Well, at least you learnt your lesson,” He got back in bed, carefully cleaning you up the best he could. With a snap of his fingers, the dirty bedsheets were replaced with fresh, warm new ones, and you almost wept in joy as your body melted completely into the mattress. You rolled yourself up in the blanket, burying your face in the pillow. “Lesson not learnt,” You yawned loudly. “Good night,” 
He laughed again, and what a blessed thing that it was the last sound you heard as you fell asleep, feeling his arms wrap around you and pull you into him. 
Despite how upset he might have been at your little joke, or how exhausted you felt, you both knew it wouldn’t be the last time you played dirty for his attention.
399 notes · View notes
eluxcastar · 2 years ago
Note
Hiiii I saw that your requests were open and I'd like to submit one where Pantalone, Capitano and Pierro have an s/o which has sleeping troubles, like insomnia or gets nightmares alot, these boys dont get anough love. Tyyyy 🥺🥺
Sweet dreams, darling
── ୨୧:pantalone, il capitano, pierro x reader (separate)
୨୧﹑synopsis :: some nights it's hard to fall asleep, no matter how much you try tossing and turning. sometimes they're already awake, or sometimes you accidentally wake them up but one way or another they've discovered this glaring issue.
୨୧﹑genre :: fluff
୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, uuhh other stuff, domestic fluff, use of petnames on pantalone and pierro's (darling, love), not at all proofread
୨୧﹑words :: 2866
you're so right dear anon they're so underrated, especially Pierro at least from what I've seen I love him tbh that man is hot (literally nobody will hear me out) (this is an extremely understandable phenomenon) sorry this is late I got busy taking care of my cat he's like a fifty year old man thinking he can still tussle with the younger cats
Tumblr media
─ ୨୧:pantalone
to be completely honest, he can't stand when you sleep like that. he stares at you from his side of the bed where you lay finally at peace, and can never quite bring himself to disturb you, but a part of him wishes that you would find a position that doesn't hurt your back so much to wake up in. he understands that that's difficult, though.
curled in on yourself in a tight ball like you're an overgrown house cat seems to be the other way you can hope to sleep lately, complaining that you're uncomfortable any other way through no fault of your own. in a perfect world he can pluck your little issue right out of existence, vanish it away to a dark corner to never again be found, letting you have the most blissful refreshing sleep you've ever had however this is not a perfect world and thus he is forced to watch you toss and turn through the night.
truly Pantalone has found at least one thing he can confidently say he finds himself to be abysmal at. he makes you a cup of tea before bed, though not an uncommon action. he hears this particular blend can help with sleeping troubles, expensive as it may be imported from Snezhnaya's polar opposite Natlan, requiring certain shipping conditions. it's hardly enough to inconvenience him however, recalling how he almost asked "Is that all?" like it was pocket change. it seems to at least relax you, and you enjoy the taste, so he continues to purchase it regularly.
he's found you sleep best when you lay by his side, pampered by those delicate hands that stroke your forehead and lull you to sleep if a little slowly. his affections are not nearly as slow as trying to do it alone, pulling you close until you're snug up against him, and his head tries to situate your head onto his chest. your struggles must lessen, and his arm around you has helped, he's seen so.
he cannot find another way to comfort you, almost nothing that money can buy besides medicine he keeps pestering a certain doctor to make, so he provides you with time, affection, gentle actions meant to soothe you as he strokes your forehead, rubs his thumb against your temple. all of this provided to you while you lay your head against his arm. tonight is slightly different as you lay your head on his chest attempting to find a comfortable spot while he reads a book to you which he thought you might enjoy.
Pantalone believes you to be paying the utmost attention, his arm around you holding the book open. that is until his forearm accidentally knocks your head turning a page, and his most profuse apologies are met with...silence?
"Darling?" he questions, wondering if you were hurt--he's not sure how that could happen with such a light bump--but he awkwardly lifts his head to find you don't move to get up as you might've if you thought he was getting up you're completely still. you couldn't possibly be... no, not a chance after all that effort and research a book put you to sleep? he either had the most boring taste or had accidentally stumbled upon the cure to your little conundrum.
the next morning Pantalone is well out of bed by the time you awake, a usual occurrence as he sits dressed for work with one last cup of tea piping hot at his side.
"Good morning." you say as you rub your eyes, noticing he's reading the book from last night.
he glances up from his book to flash a smile at you, "Good morning, darling." he says, unusually pleased for some reason-- seemingly also straight to the point as he asks "Are my book recommendations truly so boring they make you fall asleep or do you just like being read to sleep?"
"Oh, well..." now that you think about it, you don't actually recall anything from the book, only knowing that Pantalone was reading it to you. you can remember the way the words sounded, melding together in your head and hardly discernible into actual sentences. perhaps you did like being read to sleep. "I couldn't say how boring your books are, but maybe someone's a better reader than he thought~."
you lean down to kiss his cheek, promptly wandering off to get yourself a cup of that tea he made. perhaps he'll have to read to you more often...
 
─ ୨୧:capitano
you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night a lot lately, startled awake, disoriented and a little scared. tonight is no different as you awake to an expectedly empty bed, unsurprised when you see nothing there on the other side. there is no sign of Capitano yet, out on a mission somewhere just as he said he would be. you're not mad he's gone, just a little lonely, worrying that something would happen to him.
you climb out of bed and resort to your new coping mechanism. without the real Capitano, you simply must convince yourself he is there in some way. thus, you make your way to your shared closet and look for a shirt he wore semi-recently. you manage to find one he changes into when he gets home and wants to relax, softer than armour for you to lean on when you lay your head on his chest to drift off to sleep while he plays with your hair.
you're glad for something with a happier association, something which you can cling to even while he's gone. his shirt is a catalyst for that, carrying his scent, though you have nothing to hold in his absence, if maybe a pillow unfortunate enough to find itself cuddled up to your chest.
despite yourself you almost feel as if the roles have reversed, almost never the bigger of your pair, though you have always cuddled up to him, arms awkwardly wrapped around him.
you awake to another of his letters, seemingly his response to your telling him about your troubles falling asleep, laying awake restless and increasingly tired though still unable to find solace in a good night's rest. it is delivered personally to your hands by a fatuu as all of his letters have been, ensuring their safe travel to you, as well as ensuring there's someone's head to be had if they don't. in their other arm a large teddy bear is tucked away, though not immediately presented to you causing you to almost walk off.
"Ah-- This also arrived for you!" you spin yourself back around to meet the mask face of a fatuu holding a teddy bear out to you, almost a funny sight and you crack a smile. "Also from Lord Capitano." they add.
Uh...ok that's a little strange.
you take your new friend, soft and fuzzy, a bow tied around its neck sewn into the fabric. it's strangely cute, though you're not exactly sure how he was able to acquire such a thing from all the way out in Natlan. it couldn't have possibly been from there, at least you don't think so at a glance...
you reacquire the letter which had been placed down on the table, reading it over carefully. the further you read the more your smile grows, though unconsciously. you quickly uncover the origin of this bear that suddenly fell into your possession. it is from Natlan, from Capitano. his name is Cap. you just cannot fathom where he managed to pull such a creative name from. it has you giggling to yourself.
"Cap." you pick the bear up in your hands, holding it up to admire it, "Didn't he pick such a cute name out for you?" the longer you stare, though adorable, the more this bear seems to be missing something. he bears his name, his likeness if you consider that Capitano is really just a big soft teddy bear in strong armour-- ah right, this bear was missing something. though he is to be your new bed buddy, he lacks a certain...quality.
obviously you cannot dress him in armour. no, that's far too hard for you to lay your head on. however Capitano's much softer Fatui-issued fur-lined coat would make a cute little outfit for him. the first problem you find is that Capitano is currently in possession of said coat, the second is that despite the bear being on the larger side Capitano's coat would still be too large for him, possibly too bulky as well.
all in one Cap is providing you with solutions to your daytime boredom and your night-time troubles. sewing Cap a little coat would be just the perfect thing to fill your time.
a couple months and a late night of reports and paperwork and finally the trek home feels like bliss, walking the familiar path to the place that will finally again feel like home. Capitano doesn't dare leave headquarters without changing, not only for his own comfort after spending so long stuck in that armour and so that it's not so noisy when he arrives home and sneaks through the door.
the house is dark, expectedly so due to you likely not expecting him, it's only by the faint glow of golden light that emanates from your shared bedroom that he thinks for a moment you might still be awake.
ducking his head in reveals that to be false, you just must've fallen asleep with a candle lit again, though the sight easily makes up for that. as it turns out, Capitano found you the perfect gift, wrapped tightly in your arms, your cheek pressed into the fabric and your breathing steady and calm. he's about to turn away, deciding he'll come back to it once he's dealt with his things and is ready for bed, but something catches his eye—a tuft of black fur that tickles your face.
his face contorts in confusion, vividly recalling the bear's fur did not have a texture like that, but then it clicks when he realises the white next to your arm and the silhouette becomes clearer in his mind. you made him a jacket. he almost breaks down laughing over how ridiculously cute that is, but quickly covers his mouth so as to not wake you.
he's glad you like your little gift to cuddle in his stead.
 
─ ୨୧: pierro
working nights always go the same, as you've long retired for the night and gone to bed, Pierro remains awake managing his duties long into the night. coincidentally, this arrangement happens to work out well for you and your awful nightmares that will strike at any given moment.
you awake to an empty bed, guessing that it must be a busy night. it's not a bother, but you're not sure whether you'll be able to go back to sleep yet. you're a bit shaken from your dreams, needing to go and find Pierro to see what he's doing. you know he's only fulfilling bureaucratic duties, not in any actual danger, but you need to see him to ease your mind and know he's fine.
expectedly he's hunched over his desk, lost in his work as you suppose is usual at this hour. he doesn't immediately notice you, engrossed in the task at hand, but one creak of a floorboard as you make your way to him is enough for him to look up and find you at his side staring down at him.
"It happened again?" he breaks the silence already knowing why you're here, and you nod in response, a silent confirmation.
"It wasn't as bad as before, but..." you trail off for some reason, playing with your fingers trying to find the words to describe, "I don't know, I just thought-- I wanted to come see you because you weren't there." you finally get it out, though not quite as you intended. it's hard to communicate the feeling, like even though you knew nothing could've possibly happened something felt wrong.
you feel silly confessing it, like it was something wrong with you and yet he barely raises an eyebrow in protest or question of it.
"Even while you sleep, I still worry you." he says, his hand finding your waist to pull you closer.
"No, no it's not you." you try to say, trying to assure him that maybe if you were just stronger you wouldn't be so worried, your own mind to blame. "I knew what I was doing getting into this." you add.
he shuffles his chair back to make space between him and the desk, patting his thigh to usher you onto his lap, into his arms. you fit so perfectly, feel so safe, like you can melt into his body with the warmth he provides you. leaning your head against his shoulder, getting comfortable burying your face into the crook of his neck.
"Make yourself comfortable and go back to sleep, love." Pierro's hand settles on your head, holding you there, arm around you. vaguely in your ear you can make out a rhythmic thud, almost as if you hear his heart pumping in his chest. that's a nice sound. it's gentle enough it doesn't bother you, outs you at ease in fact as if a reminder he's there. you know he's there, but something about it just...helps.
"How much longer until you come to bed?" you ask, fully expecting him to give you the realistic answer that he doesn't know, and really he probably wouldn't.
he pauses, a deep breath following that you feel as Pierro's chest rises and falls once again, he then sets his pen aside, though mid sentence and clearly not even close to finished. Pierro once again shuffles his chair back, making enough space for his now free hand to come up beneath you to support you as he stands, bringing you with him now cradled in his arms.
he smiles down at you gently, and you're convinced he'd run a hand through your hair to tuck it away behind your ear if only his hand was free. you know he likes that, a little token of affection. "Let's go to bed now, and I'll finish this later." he says. you think you could've lived with sleeping in his lap for a night, though admittedly you like this arrangement a lot better.
you allow him to lay you back down, pulling the covers over you and leaving you to adjust them a bit while you wait, though when his back turns you shuffle your way over to the other side of the bed somehow hoping he won't notice you tucked up on his side. to your favour he doesn't for a while, though he's preoccupied with tugging his shirt over his head not exactly paying the most attention, not until he turns around does he notice a certain someone has taken over his spot.
"Oh? I didn't realise I was only getting this much bed. You don't leave very much room for me at all do you?" of course he'd play along when you make a face like you're trying not to giggle, though that promptly fails as he decides he's going to get you out by actually trying to fit, actually meaning he's about to sit on you and there's not a chance in hell the tiny sliver of bed is enough for anyone.
in seconds you're rolling over bursting out laughing to escape, though Pierro pulls you back kicking and squealing to kiss your cheek and try to settle you again before you rile yourself up. your antics are usually endearing, but seated on the edge of the bed having to turn himself to meet you halfway, he finds a little kiss on the lips is enough to get you back to your much calmer self.
"Do you want to sleep on my side?" he asks
"I want to listen to your heartbeat." you respond, leaning yourself forward in some attempt to-- rather uncomfortably-- press your head to his chest. "I like it."
"You can listen for as long as you like, as long as you calm down so you can go to sleep. It's late."
eventually he finds a spot in the middle of the bed, and you find that laying on him is far more comfortable, as well as ensuring that there's no way he can sneak off once you fall asleep to go back to his work. Pierro will be staying right where you hold him in place, head laying back on his chest where you can hear his heartbeat clearly. you were right, you do like it.
you are always afraid of losing him, you always have been, you don't think there will be a day when you're not. just as badly he is afraid of losing you, irrationally so as he has learned nothing is permanent. even peaceful moments like this can be reduced to ash in the blink of an eye, so he must cherish them. he must cherish you.
Pierro is more than happy to cuddle you this way if that's what you want, because really he wants it too.
Tumblr media
682 notes · View notes