#'first letter' words that i want starlight to hear

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Poems

main masterlist | supernatural masterlist

summary: dean searches your room when you’re missing, and the love letters he finds break his heart

pairing: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 1.9k (1.5k excluding poems) 

warnings: reader goes/is missing, language, 

author’s note: please don’t make fun of my “poetry”, i know it’s not good that’s why i don't write poems lol

“Hey Dean, I’m working a case near Wichita so I’ll probably be back home by the end of the week. See you soon, bye.”

“That’s the last I heard from her,” Dean told his brother after playing him the message you left. “It’s been over a week, I’m gettin’ worried here!”

“Do you know what kinda case she was working?” Sam asked, Dean shook his head. “Okay, well I’m sure she’s fine, Dean. Let’s call the hospitals around where she is and ask if she’s there.”

“You do that, I’m gonna head to Wichita,” Dean replied.

“I think we should call the hospitals first, Dean. She said she was near Wichita, she could be anywhere from here to there!”

Dean sighed but agreed with Sam’s plan.

**

The boys had no luck with any of the hospitals so they decided to head over to Wichita and look for you. They searched for a few days before heading back to the bunker, hoping you might be there waiting for them. You weren’t, of course, and that only made their worry grow.

You’d been missing for nearly two weeks!  

Dean thought there might be some kind of clue in your room and decided that searching it was next on his to-do list. Though he knew he was grasping at straws, he did it anyway.

Opening the door to your room, he smiled at the poster near your bed. It was the one he’d gotten you for Christmas last year. It was a kind of gag gift—it was his favorite band. (His real gift had been much more thoughtful.)

He began his search at your desk, digging through the mess of papers splayed out on the wood surface. His brows furrowed when he found one paper in particular. It looked like… a love poem?

The way your hair looks in the morning

The way your laugh adds life to moments boring

The way your breath hits my neck when you’re standing just behind me

Reaching over to grab something off the table

A lore book, of all things to be

And the way your eyes light up when you look into mine

I swear I almost see a hint of love

Behind those piercing starlights

Your lips on mine is what I need

Did you hear me? 

I said kiss me, you fool!

We’ve not got much time

In this line of life 

And I need you at my side.

Dean didn’t know if the poem would be considered “good” in the public eye, but he knew it made his heart clench. You were in love? But… with whom?

To him, the words were beautiful, and the thought that you wrote them about someone else broke his fucking heart. He knew there were no clues to your whereabouts in the next poem, but of course, he read it anyway.

I think of you when I drive and spot a classic car

I think of you when I eat a cheeseburger 

And I’ll turn it upside down when I’m missing you

I think of you when I hear a Zepplin song

And I turn the music up when I’m not with you

I think of you when I see anyone wear flannel

Or a leather jacket that’s clearly a size or two too big

And I love to think of you

It just makes sense to me

I love to picture you beside me

At night when I can’t sleep

Or when I get scared of what I’m facing

I think of what you would do

Day or night

Night, day, or noon 

I always think of you

Whoever this mystery person was, they were fucking lucky. Dean had never felt so jealous in his entire life. He always thought you two had a “will they won’t they” side to your relationship but at that moment he realized it was completely one-sided. The fun, flirty side to all your late-night conversations had just been friendly. Two friends playfully talking as if they both wanted to be more.

Of course Dean wanted to be more. Of course he knew he wanted to be with you. But now? Now he knew he’d either missed his chance or he simply never had one.

You were in love with someone that wasn’t him. And the love you’d been writing about wasn’t the kind someone gets over. It’s the kind that sticks—for life. The kind that people write songs about, the kind that people fight wars over, and the kind that makes people go crazy in the best way. 

He knew he’d found that love when he first fell for you, but it turned out you had found that love in someone else.

“Anything?” Sam asked, walking into your room.

“Uhm,” Dean cleared his throat, hoping his eyes didn’t look as cloudy as they felt. “No, nothing important. Just some love letters or something.” 

Sam furrowed his brows and picked up one of the poems off the desk, one that Dean had not read yet. As the taller Winchester read what you wrote his eyes grew wide, practically popping out of his head as his mouth fell open.

“Oh my fucking god!” Sam exclaimed. “Y/n’s in love with you?” He looked at his older brother in shock.

“Me? No, these poems are about whoever she’s been seeing recently, they aren’t about me. We’re just friends.”

“You haven’t read this one yet, have you?” Sam asked with a small smile before handing it over.

You asked me today; “what’s your favorite color?”

And I just shrugged; “I don’t know, blue?”

Cause how could I have said the truth?

The color I love most in the world

The color that brings me nothing but joy

In this sad, awful little life

Is the green and hazel of your eyes

The emerald diamonds that shine

When you look into the sun

The soft hazel that looks over at me

When we’re reading in the library

How can I tell you all of this 

When the question is so simple and plain

How do I go into such specific detail

About the color I’m in love with

Without freaking you out

Or scaring you away

Or making you laugh at me

Because I know your favorite color 

And I know it’s not the color of my eyes

“You…You think this is really about me?” Dean asked his little brother, hoping Sam was right.

“Dean in all my life I have never seen anyone but you eat a burger bun-side-down,” Sam chuckled a little having read one of the poems Dean had read earlier.

“Oh my god.” Dean furrowed his brows, looking back down at the paper in his hands. “We’ve gotta find her, Sammy, I gotta tell her!”

“Tell her that you went through her stuff while she was gone? Don’t think that’s the best idea.”

“No! Tell her I’m in love with her! Tell her that the color of her eyes is my favorite fucking color too! And every time her favorite band comes on the radio I turn it up, and every time I see a woman wearing her type of clothes I think about her. Tell her that all I do every waking moment of every day is wish I was with her, wish I was holding her in my arms so I could never let go.”

“I think you just told her.” Sam smiled, nodding to where you now stood at your door. Dean turned around quickly. Tears of joy stung your eyes as you looked at him and smiled.

“You love me?” you asked.

“More than anything,” Dean admitted as he hurried to you. He wrapped you in a tight hug, kissing your temple quickly before he tucked your head under his chin. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call, it’s a long story,” you mumbled. “When vampires ban together with twisted humans, they’re a lot harder to kill.”

“We were really worried about you,” Dean admitted. “Like…fucking terrified.”

“Is that why you decided to dig through my personal shit?” you asked. You were one hundred percent kidding, but Dean was still nervous.

“Yeah…sorry,” Sam cringe-clenched his teeth, “it was my fault.”

You and Dean pulled back from the hug, but you took his hand in yours as you narrowed your gaze at the younger hunter.

“I know your tell, Sammy,” you said. “But it’s sweet that you’re trying to cover for Dean.” 

“Yep, all Dean’s fault,” Sam admitted before heading for the door, giving his brother a pat on the shoulder on his way out. “Good luck.”

“Look, I didn’t mean to invade your privacy, I swear,” Dean told you quickly. “I was looking for something that might tell me where the hell you were.”

“How many did you read?” you asked.

“Three,” Dean sighed, still thinking you were pissed at him.

“So…you know, then? That I’m hopelessly in love with you? And you think I’d be mad at you for looking through my stuff?”

“I mean, I know you value your privacy.”

“Dean,” you started, putting a hand on his cheek and turning his face to look down at you, “would you please just fuckin’ kiss me already?”

He seemed almost surprised by your question but he quickly smiled as he bent down and kissed you. His one hand stayed clasped in yours while his other went to your waist and then trailed to your lower back. The hand you had on his cheek went to the upper back of his neck so you could tangle your fingers in his hair. The smiles on both of your faces only grew before you both pulled away.

“Wow, I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Dean mumbled before he let out a short, breathy laugh.

“Me too,” you replied. 

**

You’d been back home for a few days now and you had explained the whole missing situation to the brothers. You told them how the simple vampire hunt turned sour quickly when you realized the small-town’s sheriff was in on it and helped the vamps with making humans just disappear. They’d made you as a hunter instantly and held you hostage for a few days before you killed your way out. 

Dean never left your side so when he saw a new poem on your desk his brows furrowed. Curiosity got the better of him as he sat down to read it.

My god aren't I lucky

Now that you're holding me at night

And that first time we kissed in the doorway

I could’ve sworn I was kissing pure sunshine 

When your lips hit mine it was better

Then I could’ve ever imagined

And the love poems I've written became

Manifested words of affirmation

The butterflies in my stomach fluttered

And the blood rushed to my head

Think I could stay like this forever

Won't overthink it, I’ll just go and kiss you instead

“Well, well, well.” You came up behind him, and put your hands on his shoulders before you trailed them down and clasped them together over his chest, leaning your chin on his shoulder and kissing his cheek. “Look who’s digging through my shit again.” You smiled against his skin. He turned his head and placed a deep kiss on your lips.

“I’m not even sorry this time, because I think this might be the best thing I’ve ever read.”

“I love you,” you said and kissed him again.

“I love you so fuckin’ much,” he mumbled back.

[pinkcomputer]

Vocaloid songs that turn 10 in 2025

Outburst Dreamer Boys - rerulili feat. Kagamine Len (02.01.2015)

Packet Hero - MARETU feat. Hatsune Miku (09.01.2015)

MAWARU - Kikuo feat. Hatsune Miku (16.01.2015)

Kiwi - ATOLS feat. Hatsune Miku (30.01.2015)

The Portrait Glassred Drew - mothy feat. GUMI (31.01.2015)

Snow Fairy Story - 40mP feat. Hatsune Miku (31.01.2015)

Wholeheartedly - Umetora feat. DIVINE DIVA (03.02.2015)

LaLaLove - Umetora feat. DIVINE DIVA (03.02.2015)

chocolate box - dezzy feat. Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (05.02.2015)

Seven Crimes and Punishments - mothy feat. various (13.02.2015)

LOVE - Creep-P feat. Chika (13.02.2015)

Take Me!! - Yunosuke feat. Hatsune Miku (19.02.2015)

Fake Smile - Kairiki bear feat. Hatsune Miku (20.02.2015)

Daydream Sky Train - Orangestar feat. IA, Hatsune Miku (21.02.2015)

Star of Heaven - 3106。 feat. KAITO (25.02.2015)

Getting Faster and Faster - 40mP feat. Hatsune Miku (25.02.2015)

Red Thread - mikitoP feat. Hatsune Miku (27.02.2015)

Tonchinkan Feast - PinocchioP feat. Hatsune Miku (02.03.2015)

Goodbye Everyone - siinamota feat. GUMI (04.03.2015)

Quán Yù Tiānxià - Wugui, Aipi Xiong feat. Luo Tianyi (04.03.2015)

Crystalline - CircusP, Crusher feat. GUMI (06.03.2015)

Fräulein=Biblioteka - nyanyannya feat. MEIKO (11.03.2015)

Love Letter from Melancholy - Karasuya Sabou feat. Hatsune Miku (15.03.2015)

The Crying Woman - Steampianist, Tsus (21.03.2015)

Puzzle Girl - Toa feat. Hatsune Miku (25.03.2015)

Warning! - 40mP feat. galaco (27.03.2015)

Prisoner of Love and Desire - HitoshizukuP, yama△ feat. Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (27.03.2015)

Love Me If You Can - Umetora feat. DIVINE DIVA (28.03.2015)

Electrostatic Human - Kairiki bear feat. Hatsune Miku (31.03.2015)

Getting Higher and Higher - 40mP feat. Hatsune Miku (01.04.2015)

REVOLVER - Kanon69 feat. Megurine Luka (02.04.2015)

Goodbye, Ms. Flower Thief - mer feat. Hatsune Miku (03.04.2015)

CITRUS - Orangestar feat. IA, ONE (04.04.2015)

The Sleeping Princess - Nem feat. Kagamine Len, GUMI (10.04.2015)

Umitagari - MARETU feat. Hatsune Miku (02.05.2015)

Meru - n-buna feat. Hatsune Miku (11.05.2015)

ARTIFICIAL SKIN - PSGO-Z feat. Hatsune Miku (13.05.2015)

Synesthesia Ghost - Sasanomaly feat. Hatsune Miku (15.05.2015)

Mind Brand - MARETU feat. Hatsune Miku (29.05.2015)

Things I Want You to Hear - Sasanomaly feat. Hatsune Miku (01.06.2015)

GAME OVER - admk, KonranP feat. GUMI (08.06.2015)

B Who I Want 2 B - Namie Amuro, SOPHIE, Mitchie M feat. Hatsune Miku (10.06.2015)

Doctor=Funk Beat - nyanyannya feat. KAITO (12.06.2015)

Word Game - HitoshizukuP, yama△ feat. Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (18.06.2015)

Andromeda Andromeda - NayutalieN feat. Hatsune Miku (01.07.2015)

LOVE - Creep-P feat. CYBER DIVA (05.07.2015)

Suki Kirai - Hyurno feat. Hatsune Miku, Megurine Luka (06.07.2015)

Aira - n-buna feat. GUMI (08.07.2015)

Hand in Hand - kz feat. Hatsune Miku (08.07.2015)

Terminating the World - Neru feat. Kagamine Rin (14.07.2015)

Crappy Fantasy Days - PinocchioP feat. Hatsune Miku (17.07.2015)

Ghost Station - n-buna feat. SF-A2 miki (21.07.2015)

The First Train and Kafka - n-buna feat. Hatsune Miku (22.07.2015)

Little Scarlet Bad Girl - HachioujiP feat. Hatsune Miku (22.07.2015)

Tokyo Summer Session - HoneyWorks feat. GUMI, v flower (24.07.2015)

Into Starlight - KURIS, YUICHI NAKASE, KannazukiP feat. IA, ONE (29.07.2015)

Buraikku Jikorizer - JesusP feat. Kagamine Len (03.08.2015)

Rocket Cider - NayutalieN feat. Hatsune Miku (04.08.2015)

FPS - Neru feat. Kagamine Len (13.08.2015)

August Rainy - Harumaki Gohan feat. Hatsune Miku (14.08.2015)

Vocaloids Repeating Two Chords Only - GYARI feat. KAITO, Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (15.08.2015)

The Dream the Girl Doll Dreamed - HitoshizukuP, yama△ feat. Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (16.08.2015)

Last of Me - CircusP feat. Megurine Luka (17.08.2015)

Your Night Sky Patrol - Orangestar feat. IA (19.08.2015)

Scrumize, Scrumise - MARETU feat. Hatsune Miku (20.08.2015)

It’s Matsuri, Hey Come On! - PinocchioP feat. Hatsune Miku (26.08.2015)

Life of Beginnings - Orangestar feat. IA (29.08.2015)

Desktop Cinderella - HachioujiP feat. Hatsune Miku (30.08.2015)

My R - KurageP feat. Hatsune Miku (31.08.2015)

Beautiful Nightmare - HachioujiP feat. Megurine Luka (02.09.2015)

ANTI THE∞HOLiC - cosMo@BousouP feat. Megurine Luka, Kagamine Rin (02.09.2015)

Our Anniversary - Seikai feat. Hatsune Miku (09.09.2015)

Before I Was Born - MARETU feat. Hatsune Miku (17.09.2015)

TOKYO ZOMBIE LAND - JesusP feat. Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (21.09.2015)

Jailbreak - Neru feat. Kagamine Rin (30.09.2015)

Mistletoe ~The Tree of Reincarnation~ - HitoshizukuP, yama△ feat. Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (30.09.2015)

Re:birthed - HitoshizukuP, yama△ feat. Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (30.09.2015)

CATS RULE THE WORLD - daniwell feat. Hatsune Miku, Momone Momo (03.10.2015)

Perfect Life Form - NayutalieN feat. Hatsune Miku (06.10.2015)

Loop Memory - Yunosuke feat. Hatsune Miku (17.10.2015)

Paintër - halyosy feat. various (17.10.2015)

ALL IS MUSIC! - YZYX feat. Hatsune Miku (19.10.2015)

Amazing Magician - Mitchie M feat. Hatsune Miku (26.10.2015)

Underage - MARETU feat. Hatsune Miku (30.10.2015)

R.I.P. Sea of Gossip - cosMo@BousouP feat. GUMI (01.11.2015)

Brain Fluid Explosion Girl (2015Ver.) - rerulili feat. Hatsune Miku, GUMI (06.11.2015)

Blue Star - HachioujiP feat. Hatsune Miku (13.11.2015)

Flight Girl - NayutalieN feat. Hatsune Miku (14.11.2015)

Strato Stella - NayutalieN feat. Hatsune Miku (14.11.2015)

I Wish I Had a Shatterproof Heart - Ishifuro feat. IA, SF-A2 miki (24.11.2015)

Ten Thousand Stars - CircusP feat. Hatsune Miku (26.11.2015)

Zanim Zniknę //2015 remaster// - MarvyanakaP feat. Hatsune Miku (01.12.2015)

Muscles - MARETU feat. Hatsune Miku (11.12.2015)

Chanbara Johnny - DECO*27, KTG feat. Hatsune Miku (16.12.2015)

Hitotsu Me Ripper Satsujin Jiken - Shitoo feat. Hatsune Miku, v flower (22.12.2015)

Motivation is Dead - PinocchioP feat. Hatsune Miku (25.12.2015)

Rin Len Maid Factor - yogarasuP feat. Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len (27.12.2015)

[copperpaulie]

- I want to kiss your lips!

Please read!

Softie!Abby Anderson x fem!reader - Modern Au, Comedic, fluff

Word count: 1k

You and Abby now enter a serious relationship, after months of Abby courting you- it was all worth it the moment you held her hand and professed your hidden love for her under the fireworks on Christmas Eve, Abby was shocked to even hear that! And so, both of you spent the evening, fingers interlocking never wanting to drop her hand. Romantic, isn't it? after that, everything has been steady. Cuddling during romcoms, and dinner dates-- you both have already gone through the "meet with parents" stage! Your relationship with each other has been all but a breeze.

While you ponder at your desk, a question drops from your train of thought...

Both of you only kissed once! wtf! You abruptly leave your seat, mouth agape, and hurriedly count your fingers

'one... two...'

THREE FREAKING MONTHS!? AND NOT A SINGLE TOUCH ON THE LIP!?

You don't know whether to laugh or cry. Sure, you pecked each other's cheeks once, and she does forehead kisses sometimes, but nothing more than that! Sure, you could go with the flow and wait for the moment to bloom... but still, both of you should be glueing each other's lips by now!!

or... maybe you're being too needy, this is your first relationship after all. 'Am I being needy?'

maybe! ... I actually don't know, I'm only writing this.

You groan in frustration and plop yourself back down to your chair, and suddenly a knock was heard at your door.

"_? you there?"

Oh crap, you forgot Abby said she mentioned staying over your dorm on the weekend.

"Just... a minute!" You yell as you groom your hair, and put a bit of chapstick on before you open the door. You see her in her iconic braid, white polo shirt, and earth-green cargo pants. And all you put on the table are just pajamas... But unbeknownst to you, this made Abby's heart tingle.

"Sorry for making you wait! um... chores!"

Abby chuckles and ruffles your hair, her lips forming a smile as she stares at you, "You do remember that I'm coming over today, right?"

"Oh! AHAHAHAHA-" you burst out while repeatedly patting Abby's shoulder, "...no."

"Ah," Your sweetheart replies, her eyes almost drooping down before she lifts herself up. "Well, are you busy?"

"NO!"

You cough, "I mean, no... not busy, completely free even!"

She takes a while to process your expressions, which is... not so like you, and her state looks as if her tail droops down.

"I feel I'm bothering you..."

"No, no! You cry out, sorry- I was just pondering about something and got completely startled.", Your eyes pan over hers, "Are you... angry?"

Abby sighs and smiles gingerly. Leaning down at you, she places her love on your forehead and shakes her head, "Of course not, just wanted to make sure I wasn't hindering your plans."

A smile tugs your lips, and your hand extends as you reach for hers, inviting her inside.

"So, what's your game plan, Anderson?" She chuckles and raises the hand you held, her lips tenderly brushing on your knuckles, making your cheeks warm and flushed.

"I was thinking... we watch the new 'savage starlight' franchise."

Your eyes light up at the news, "There's a new movie!?"

"Yes! Abby chuckles, I bought it on my netfl*x account."

"Wow, look at you- so updated, and here I thought you were so focused on your studies." You say, a brow jerked up and your mouth tugged to a smirk. Abby looks up above, avoiding any gaze, "Um... I just stumbled upon it, I swear!"

You let out a hearty laugh and pinch her pale freckled cheeks. She closes her eyes in response. "Ow"

"That's what you deserve!"

☆-☆-☆-☆ "Uhm." Abby blurts, prolonging the letter m for at least 3 seconds. "Oh..!" You respond, your tone as if you're almost gonna burst out from laughing.

It seems like, Abby 'Let's watch the new franchise' Anderson bought the wrong movie, and now both of you are stuck on thinking about doing anything fun. "We can play... board games?" You say, patting yourself on the shoulder in your silly head. "Definitely, we should do that."

so you did, but playing 'Mon*poly' with only two people can start to get... draggy. Abby jumps, pointing at the board with her face completely lighting up. "You landed on my train station!"

"Oh come on! I'm absolutely broke!"

Abby slyly slips a "You could sell one of your properties to me" in her mouth, making you feel as if you just popped a vein. "Can I at least pay with a different method!?"

"You can kiss me."

oh.

oh...

oh!

"Sure" You smile, catching her a little off guard.

She leans slightly forward, and you do the same. Abby almost lands her lips on your cheek till you avoid it by looking just straight through her soul.

'huh?' Abby thinks to herself.

She attempts to place a peck on your forehead and you do the same thing again.

Another attempt on your right cheek, you face her, again.

'!?' This time, Abby's extremely confused.

"Do you... not want to kiss me?" She mutters, her eyes almost teary. "What!?" Your eyes widen in shock, your face flushing with embarrassment. "No," you attempt to defend yourself, although you already see tears streaming down Abby's face. "Am I disgusting...?"

It feels like your throat refuses to let out any sound, processing the most unbelievable view you have ever seen. Without a word, you express yourself through action, hand cupping her face, and leaning in to kiss her lips. Abby's eyes widen in surprise before she melts into the moment, kissing you back with a little intensity going on with it.

before you let the moment go too deep, you push her away, making a weird 'pop' sound.

You take in the features before you, and you laugh. "Abby, you look like a pufferfish right now."

"You too," She smiles gingerly, her palm landing in yours.

And you spend the rest of the moment, giggling. Lost in the touch of each other's warmth. <3

[jimblejamblewritings]

starlight moonlight sunlight — blurb seven

Title: Happy Fucking Holidays

Pairing: ex!Remus x reader, Remus x Sirius, eventual poly!Wolfstar x reader

Warnings: catching a partner cheating, angst, hurt no comfort

blurb series navigation here | previous blurb here

Everyone had started to retire for the night, thoroughly tired from James’ late night of baking cookies, gingerbread house competitions, Secret Santa and white elephant (because both were absolutely necessary according to him), and holiday movies. You left in the middle of the second movie, being the first to call it a night, but you weren’t tired. It was just a bit difficult to see everyone get presents from their family and you were left to do nothing but wonder if yours were safe. 

Remus came upstairs when he and Sirius were ready to finally have alone time. He stood in the threshold of your doorway until you came out of the bathroom. You went straight to him, giving him a hug and a peck on the lips. 

“Are you alright to go to bed?” 

“Yeah. I’m just missing everyone.” 

He hugged you a bit tighter. “I know it’s hard, dovey. But you’ll see them sooner than you know it.” 

“I hope they’re liking England.” 

“I bet they are living it up.” 

You smiled. He was right. It was best to think of them in happy and blissful situations. Bidding your boyfriend a goodnight, you grabbed the journal you bought from a shop in Hogsmeade and sat on the bed. You were still working on your book. That was something you wanted to finish, just for yourself. Even if the manuscript never got published or only sold two copies, you wanted to write it. A typewriter was an option but handwriting grounded you so you decided that you’d handwrite the first draft and type up everything else. Your head snapped up when you heard sharp pecking on the window. It was from an owl with a letter. 

In Sirius’ room, he and Remus were getting themselves ready to do anything but sleep. Tentatively, their hands were exploring each other in a way they hadn’t in months. Every other word that poured out of Remus’ mouth was a declaration of love or a statement about how much he missed his boyfriend. Sirius chuckled as he got up. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Why do you want to know, Lupin?” 

It was all of five seconds before Remus was off the bed and backing his boyfriend up against the wall. “You drive me crazy, you know.” 

The only thing Sirius could hear was his heart pounding in his ears, not the soft pounding of your sock covered feet as you came running towards the room with good news about getting a job at a bookstore. His lips crashed against Remus, moaning into his boyfriend’s mouth and pulling on his shirt to get the man as close to him as possible. Both men paused when multiple leaves hit their face. They looked up at the sudden cloud of petals that cascaded over them and then back at each other. 

Sirius’ eyebrows scrunched. “Where the fuck did that co—” 

“Rem?” 

They both froze at the sound of your voice and the door slamming shut behind you. Sirius just shook his head like he didn’t want to believe it was you. Slowly, Remus turned his head. You were, in fact, standing in their doorway. Tears began to stream down your face as you just stared at their half naked bodies still touching.

“What are you doing?” That was the only thing you could manage to say even though you knew what they were clearly doing. 

“Fuck,” Sirius muttered. 

Remus extended a hand. “Dovey, come here, please.” 

Feet moving on their own, you met Remus and then followed him to the bed. He and Sirius were sitting next to each other while you were across from them. 

“I know what this looks like and it isn’t exac—” 

“We’ve been together since you stopped writing to him because he thought you were broken up.” 

“Sirius!” 

“What?! You were taking too long and making it worse for her.” 

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you but you’ve been through so much that we wanted you to get settled here first and get well-adjusted to your new life. No one at school knows we’re together so we just kept hiding it. I wasn’t trying to hurt you… Dove, please say something.” 

The only thing that actually happened was another cloud of petals as you drew your knees up to your chest. Sirius moved closer to you, hugging you as best as he could. 

“He was going to tell you soon. We’re both sorry you found out this way.” 

Remus smiled at his boyfriend’s very gentle tone. Comforting people wasn’t an area of expertise for Sirius. He preferred to be left alone to wallow but apparently a lot of people weren’t like that. You must’ve been one of those people because you hadn’t pushed him away yet. 

You felt like an idiot in more ways than one. Up until recently, Sirius didn’t like you and Remus wasn’t as affectionate. It wasn’t like you didn’t notice but you hadn’t put together why exactly they were behaving that way, figuring it was just an adjustment period. 

“This is my fault,” you whispered. “I should’ve found a way to write to you.” 

“Y/N, no. You couldn’t help your circumstances. These things just happen sometimes.” 

“But if I had written…”

Sirius grabbed your face in both of his hands. “Then you would’ve been in danger. Remus is right. It isn’t your fault. Okay?” 

“I guess.” 

The two men looked at each other. Maybe that was the best they were going to get for now. Sirius smiled at you. 

“Atta girl, dollface. You probably don’t want to talk right now but would it make you feel better to do so? We can watch a movie first, do something to break the tension then talk?” 

You nodded. “I think I’d like a movie first.” 

“Let’s do that then. Do you want to watch one here, the living room, or your room?” 

You looked around, unsure. Sirius kept picking spiky succulent leaves from your hair as they popped up until there was a significantly large pile between him and his boyfriend. Remus looked down at the pile. How exactly did you make the plants appear out of nowhere? And was there a finite amount you could make? Because it was kind of concerning how many plants were littering Sirius’ room. 

“Let’s just watch something up here. Then we won’t have to cast anything to not disturb anyone.” He decided for everyone before you turned into a wilted bush. 

“Okay.” 

They waited for you to get yourself comfortable before moving to configure themselves around you until you were sandwiched in between them. It felt like rubbing salt in the wound if they cuddled up. Sirius handed you a pillow to hug while Remus put on a movie. This wasn’t how any of this was supposed to go. Remus’ speech was supposed to be perfect and tear-saving. You were very quiet to the point where Remus couldn’t even hear you breathing. Something he definitely should be able to hear so close to you. His heart shattered when you jumped at the hand placed on your shoulder. 

“It’s okay to cry, dov— Y/N.” 

The use of your name alone did actually make you start crying again. You really weren’t sure what was happening in the movie. It wasn’t exactly easy to see through tears. 

“Do you want to turn the movie off?” 

You shook your head, not ready to talk but not wanting to drag this into the next few days. Remus looked over your head when Sirius began moving. He set down his pillow and blanket. 

“Do you want anything to drink or eat?” 

“Um, just whatever you bring.” 

“Okay. Ba— Moony, do you want anything?” 

“Just some of the leftovers and tea.” 

“Got it. Be right back.” 

Without thinking, Sirius leaned over and pecked Remus on the lips. He turned to you and did the same, pulling away before you really registered what happened. His eyes went wide as he looked from you to Remus multiple times. You were frozen in place the moment you actually registered what he did. 

“Babe,” Sirius squeaked. “Come with me to the kitchen, please.” 

You watched Remus scramble off the bed and follow his boyfriend. Despite the door slamming behind them, you could still hear Sirius repeating either “Merlin” or “shit” over and over again. They could spend an hour in the kitchen for all you cared — you needed a very long moment to yourself to process whatever just happened. How dare he kiss you, even if it was accidentally. Still. How dare he. And why did you keep thinking about it? Planting your face into the pillow, very aware now how much it smelled like Sirius, you screamed before falling backwards and attempting to smother yourself with a pillow.

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[imtryingbuck]

Seven

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n L/n becomes Queen of Astoria not that she wanted to. Prince James of Winterfeld meets her and falls in love.

Word count: 2,337

Warnings: angst. fluff. small mention of being barren. pretty much it.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

A year had passed since Y/n fought to the death with Jon and won, she now wore a large scar going across her chest. Some nights she would be woken up plagued by nightmares, they would be either be from her childhood or from the fight, some nights she would sleep peacefully.

Tonight though she couldn’t find sleep no matter how much she tossed and turned, the moon was still high up in the sky as she curled up on the couch rereading the neatly handwritten letter that she had received earlier that day. A giddy feeling tingled her whole body which she didn’t really like having, as she read the words ‘I cannot wait to see you again, my mad woman’. 

Choosing to leave her chambers - startling her guards in the process, they walked down the empty corridors, nearly at the ballroom that was already set up for later that day Y/n stopped dead in her tracks at hearing two very familiar voices. Her guards wanted to laugh at seeing her pressing her body up against the wall and popping her head around the corner, what they couldn’t see was her jaw dropping open and eyes going wide. Carlson and Larissa. Carlson and Larissa kissing. Carlson and Larissa kissing and both blushing violently. Sneaky little devils she thought to herself.

Choosing to leave them in peace she made her way to the Royal courtyard in hopes to find some solace, yet finding her mother already sat at one of the benches.

“You cannot startle me my starlight” her mother says suddenly, Y/n sighed at her failed attempts to creep up on her mother.

“How did you know?”

“You are my daughter.” She smiled up to her oldest and patted the seat next to her. “You should be asleep my dear.”

“Sleep did not want me tonight, you should be asleep too.”

“Same. Did you know that two nights after you were born I brought you out here, the sky was bright by the light of the stars. Your eyes had so much wonder behind them and they were so bright, and that is why I call you starlight.”

“Really?”

“Yes, my tiny little babe wrapped up in the blanket your grandmother made, you was so fussy and sleep did not find you so I brought you out here, the moment your eyes found the stars you settled.” Holding her daughters hand as she looked up at the night sky. “Your eyes held so much wonder and the way they shined? It was that moment you became my starlight.”

“Was… was you mad? That I was a girl and not a boy?” She questioned.

“I did not care, just as long as you were healthy and that you was finally in my arms.”

“Did father at least pretend that he loved me?”

Her mother sits in silence trying to find the right words, she knew her late husband loved all his children, he just had a very hard time in showing it. “He loved you Y/n, he… he was not a great father was he? And I am sorry for that. A seer had promised your father that he would have so many sons and each time a babe was born from either me or your stepmother a daughter was born and he did not like it.”

“But you have to admit that he did not love me the same way he loved my sisters.”

A sigh falls from her plumbs lips, squeezing Y/n’s hand. “He was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of you, for you. My starlight, you was the only person who never backed down to him. The only person who did not bow down to him, the only one that ever dared question him. A woman in our world not submitting to a man? It is not heard of, and those that have… it does not end well.”

“All I ever wanted was for him to love me, to tell me he was proud of me. It was all I ever wanted.”

“He was. He was so proud of you, when you all returned home after your first battle he told me late at night that he had never seen his own men take down the enemy the way you did, I heard it in his voice as he told me everything, darling he was proud of you and I know that he would be proud of you now if he was still here.”

“Mama?” Her mothers heart ached at hearing that name come from her, it had been such a long time since Y/n called her that. “Are you proud of me?”

“Of course I am! You have done such goodness for your people, you have helped your people. You are already the best queen to ever exist.”

Silence overtook mother and daughter as they both watch as the stars continue sparkling in the darkness. Both wanting to say so much more but didn’t want to disturb the silence. Both wanting things to be better and easier for the other.

As the sun began to make its appearance, Y/n looked at her mother and smiled shyly. “Prince James has told me he will be arriving today.”

“Yes? How do you feel?”

“I… I am excited to see him again.”

“I need to tell you something. Your father lied about you being barren, he lied about it to control you. The very same way he kept telling you that if you left-“

“He would kill Carlson and his father.” Y/n interrupts. It was the only time her father managed to get her to listen to him, once she had tried to convince both Carl and Carlson to leave the kingdom in hopes to save both of them because she knew herself that there was only so much pushing she could take from her father and she knew that she would try and escape again. She didn’t want her best friend’s blood on her hands.

“It does not matter anymore”

“Of course it does!”

“No man would want to marry me-“

“James does”

“He is a fool then.”

“Why is he?”

“Because… I do not know. But he needs to find a wife-“

“He found a wife a year ago when he came to our home. He found it in you. Do you like him?”

“I do. Whenever his letters arrive they make me giggle and smile.”

“So what are you afraid off?”

“I do not want a man to treat me as if the only thing I am good for is breeding. I do not want a man to control me and I wish to be an equal. I do not want a man take my heart just to hurt it.”

“You do not wish to be like me or your stepmother.” There was no malicious intent behind her words just an observation.

“I am sorry.”

“No. Do not apologise. My darling, not all men will be like your father I promise. Please do not give up a chance at happiness, give James a chance.” Bringing their intertwined hands to her lips, she presses a kiss to her daughter’s knuckles before standing and stretching, bidding Y/n goodbye she leaves. “Only you know what is best for you however my child.”

Leaving Y/n alone with her thoughts, she sat there thinking about her father and all his lies, thinking about James - Bucky as he kept reminding her in his letters. The moment she laid eyes on him during their fight in the circle her first thoughts were that he was attractive, very handsome and through the two weeks that him and his parents were there he spent pretty much every day with her, he and Carlson were the first people over the railing to grab her as soon as her knees start to buckle after her fight with Jon, he spent as much time as he could with her as she was being treated and resting.

In the year that they had been writing to each other Y/n had to admit that she had grew an attachment to the man but with her father’s lies she was scared of failing Bucky.

The whole castle was busy with people rushing around making sure everything was perfect for the occasion. Y/n’s eyes were currently bulging out of her eye sockets as her handmaiden pulled and tied the corset she was wearing, Larissa giggled as Y/n stuck her tongue out at her.

“Are you excited for tonight my Grace?”

“I am ready for bed already.” Her handmaiden left to fetch something, bringing in a box once she came back. “Leave us please. Larissa, this is yours.”

“Sorry?”

“Inside the box, it is for you. For tonight.”

Moving closer to the large box Larissa opened the lid, a gasp falling from her lips at what she was seeing. “I-I cannot accept this my Grace.”

“You can and you will. Please go and try it on.” Y/n smiled at her, watching her friend take the beautiful dress out of the box slowly and carefully.

A knock came from the door, Carlson coming in, his eyebrow raising as he stood there watching Y/n sway her dress. “What are you doing?”

“Bored.”

“Right… are you alright?”

“I am, are you?”

“I am well. Tonight will be…” his words trail off as Larissa steps around the partition.

“Carls close your mouth or you will catch flies. Darling you look-“

“Beautiful.” Carlson cuts Y/n off. His cheeks instantly going bright red.

“Beautiful indeed. Carlson can you please stop staring at my Lady in waiting like she is a piece of meat?”

“L-Lady in waiting? My Grace?”

“Yes, you have served me well in the past year, you have been here since you were what? Fourteen?”

“Yes my Grace.”

“You are now eighteen, and I want you as my Lady. Your new chambers are already being set up as we speak. And most importantly, Larissa you are my friend.”

“Thank you. Thank you my Queen.”

“There is no need to thank me. Please could you leave me and Carlson alone, I will get a guard to take you to your new room.”

Larissa bows and leaves, Carlson’s eyes following her as she walks away and through the door, he didn’t even bat an eye at hearing his friend chuckle behind him.

“You love her?”

“Yes. Wait…” turning to face Y/n his eyes squinted at her grinning face.

“You want to marry her?”

“I-I would love too.”

“You have my blessing as your Queen and bestest friend in the whole world to marry her.” She smiles at him, patting him on his shoulder. “You hurt her, I will end your life.”

Y/n sat in her room with her mother and sisters as they all handed her their gifts for her birthday when Larissa came in she had a small smile on her face, telling Y/n that Carlson wanted to speak to her privately.

“He can come here?”

“He wishes to give you your gift privately my Grace. He is in the royal courtyard.”

“Ah fine, sorry mama.”

“It is fine my starlight. Best not keep Carlson waiting, you know how he gets.”

“Grumpy” all of her sisters say in unison making Y/n giggle and nod in agreement.

Standing and giving her sisters a hug she didn’t see the sly smiles shared between her mother and Larissa. Her guards and Larissa walked behind her as she made her way down to where Carlson was waiting, when she gets there she sees him leaning against the stone column with his hands clasped in front of him.

“This gift best be amazing Calrs.”

“I think it will be.” He gives her a kiss to her cheek and takes Larissa’s hand and leaving, leaving a very confused Y/n behind.

“What the-“

“I have missed you my mad woman.” A voice came from behind her.

“Bucky? B-but they did not tell me you had arrived?”

“I sent a letter to Carlson and asked him to keep quiet about my arrival.”

“Well I am glad you are here.”

“And I have a gift for you.” Moving to one of the benches where a small box laid he picked it up and handed it to her. “Happiest of birthdays to you my Grace.”

“Thank you my Prince.” Opening the lid after removing the neatly placed bow, her heart thumped in her chest. A gorgeous necklace with a wolf’s head as the pendant, its eyes were bright blue stones that instantly reminded her of Bucky’s own eyes. “Oh Bucky it is beautiful! Thank you.”

“You are very welcome my Queen-“

“Y/n, please just call me Y/n. C-can you put it on me please?” Nodding, he takes the necklace out of the box gently, his fingers brushed against the bare skin of her back causing both of them to shiver. “Thank you.”

“I am called the white wolf by the people in my kingdom and… well it is a wolf.” He points to the pendant.

“I love it.” 

Looking down at the woman that had not left his mind from the moment he met her, the woman’s whose letters he had spent so much time rereading over and over again until he got the next one from her, the woman who seemed to have gotten more and more beautiful as the days went by without him seeing her, all he wanted to do was kiss her. 

“Bucky?”

“Yes?”

“You… you said you want to kiss me.” She blushed, a shy smile on her lips as she looked up at him.

“I would love nothing more than to do that.” His confession had her heart beating faster than it did whenever she went to the battlefield.

“C-Can you?”

Bucky doesn’t reply instead he brings his hand slowly up to her face, his other hand holding hers as he dips his head and slowly presses his lips against hers. It’s slow. It’s passionate. It was magical. It was just as perfect as she had imagined.

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Tags: @sapphirebarnes | @sebastians-love | @sidraaaaaaaaa | @mrsnikstan | @barnesxstan | @hi172826 | @alexdarkacademia | @supraveng | @baw1066

[gloriousbouquetlove]

Far Cry Cradle

After the events of the war started by Lucis Kingdom, only those humans who helped defeat the silver owls were allowed to stay in the Briar Kingdom.

But after 400 years a peace treaty has finally been signed between the Briar Kingdom and the neighboring countries. A truly important moment that marked fairies and humans alike.

And it was a really stressful time for the Draconia family, especially for Levan, the kingdom's current king and minister of peace. The poor man was locked in his office for several weeks signing papers and sending letters to all the neighboring kingdoms. His wife and son had to forcibly drag him out to take a break.

It was also difficult for Lilia, after all she was the right hand of Queen Meleanor Draconia, and had to be by her side at all times. And he had to endure his queen's outbursts of anger when a neighboring kingdom imposed somewhat inopportune conditions.

But finally everyone could take a well-deserved rest.

Lilia went to her home, a small cabin far from the capital, which she built with her partner several years ago. He already wanted to arrive, to finally be able to lie down in his bed and fall asleep embraced with his beloved wife and his dear...

“¡BUA, BUA!”

That cry could be heard outside the cabin, a cry that I knew very well and that I missed a lot, with the whole treaty thing. Lilia hardly had time to spend with her family. But now he's going to fix that.

Without wasting any more time, the fairy flew to the window of the room he shared with his beloved and was able to see his wife and his little son.

Leia stood next to the crib, worryingly rocking the baby back and forth.

"What's wrong Silver, are you hungry?... No, maybe it's your diaper?... Also, did you lose your blanket?... No, here it is, my sweet Silver, what do you need?"

“Maybe a lullaby would help.”

Both the woman and the baby were surprised to hear that familiar voice.

“Lilia, you came back”

“Hello my love, I see that you have some problems putting our little one to sleep.”

“Yes, it's been like this these days and I don't know why…”

“Baba…Baba”

The little boy stretched out his little hands towards his father while a cute little smile formed on his face.

“Oh how cute, apparently he's very happy to see you.”

“Khee hee, I see it”

Lilia approached Leia and extended her arms, she understood what she wanted, and carefully placed Silver in her father's arms.

The baby was very happy, babbling incoherent words while playing with his father's long hair.

But it was already too late, so without further ado the fairy began to sing:

A warm cradle

Starlight and joy

My eyes are watching over you still,

let’s be together

With no fear,

even if we wake from this dream

Sleep, sleep,

my beloved child

In dreams,

I pray you would be guided

to walk toward the light

When the song came to an end, the little one was already asleep, being careful not to wake the baby, Lilia placed him in his crib.

A warmth filled the fairy's heart when she saw how her son slept, he looked so cute and fragile, but every day the little boy grew more and he knew that in the future he would become someone strong and independent who would protect his loved ones.

The feeling of being hugged from behind took him out of his thoughts, his beloved rested her head on his shoulder and also watched as his baby slept.

“He really missed you.”

“I missed him too, I missed them both.”

The fairy turned around and looked the human in the eyes.

“I love you beast”

No matter how many times she heard those words, they always made her heart jump for joy.

“I love you too Lilia”

Without saying another word, Leia sealed her lips with Lilia's, and they melted into the kiss.

Lilia was finally home.

(I'm sorry if you don't understand, English is not my first language).

[cthoniian]

my darling andi, (@selestiials )

i think this time apart may be the worst idea he’s had yet.  the world is bigger than we ever imagined, the people more varied than we’d even fathomed in our childish dreams and visions. i do not mind traveling, i do not think i even mind most of the isolation. i have my shadows. but i miss you. but that is not the point of this letter, though i have no doubt that i will say it dozens of times within it. 

the shadows are louder here, at first i thought it merely a trick of my mind. the lack of otherworldly noises amplifying the whispers i always hear. nuala and cerridwen are weaker as we approach our destination. i am free to write it here as i will send them with this letter to you, and i know they will had it to no others. we approach the prison. i do not know why the shadows are both drawn and wither here. but there are louder voices that seek to entice, they whisper of worlds apart, of queens of fire and starlight. and i do not think it is my ears they shout to. but the world at large. the beings in this prison. 

the least corporeal of shadows are better able to tie themselves to me, i think the essence of the living shadows — like the twins — makes it easier for these infinite beings to interfere. even i do not feel entirely whole as i make camp across the water from this damnable island.  i do not fear it andromeda, i simply, dread it. as if doom has settled and reached into my mind and soul and found the weaknesses and the darknesses and made them come alive. 

i have even willingly built up a blazing fire, i do not mind the cracking of the logs compared to the echoing silence that is not empty but full of so much i am not wise enough to garner. my high lord will want to know these things, let us pray to the mother that i am able to find better words to convey to him these things. i should have sought more answers, there are whispers, of a being. subsisting off of blood alone, with hair like inked midnight and lips the color of blood. she escaped here the voices say. but i do not know if the voices are my shadows, these ghosts, or the prisoners within who seek to reach me and corrupt me. 

but i am protected from such corruption. the braid you put in my hair is still there. and yes i’ve bathed several times, i just let it stay in regardless. and the charm you gave me for my siphons is doing the trick. i’ve not had to drain the siphons as often, perhaps your advice to fill more and leave them behind was not as absurd as i’d made it seem. but i was loathe to leave them there where they might be taken. 

be safe for me while i’m gone?  listen to your brother.  let cassian braid your hair and remember he can create as well as destroy.  make rhysand laugh.  take him to the cabin at the first snow. i can feel the snows building, the air is heavy with it. keep the twins with you? for my sake as well as theirs. 

and my mother and the manor will be fine, there is no need to venture into spring territories while things are so tense within the family. the spring court, it is not choosing the eldest, according to what i can learn it will be the youngest. and he has not been trained to rule or to wield it. nor does he possess the wisdom that you have despite being the youngest sibling. 

well i suppose i should end this, the reports i send to your father demand more extensive reports and less rambling about my feelings. though i cannot help but be ruled by my feelings now. i am lost without you. 

yours,

azriel

[loosesodamarble]

Ooooo for the ship ask game (just take your time answering, I couldn’t decide between two ships 😆!)! 3, 13, 15, and 50 for Dawn x Caelum and Ezio x Kai please 🥺💕?

The answers to your questions have finally arrived!

Going to put the answers under a "read more" since there's a lot. Whoops!

..........

Caelum x Dawn (or the StarLight ship as I like to call them)

3. What was their first impression of each other?

First off, the two were practically raised together. While House Faust and House Roulacase aren't next door neighbors, since the parents (Josele, Nacht, Finral, and Mallory, another friend's oc) are all very friendly with each other, there would certainly be plenty of play dates growing up. So they both have this understanding that the other has just always been there.

But the pair's proper introduction to each other was then they were around five. Caelum awkwardly tried to be a gentleman, bowing and almost kissing her hand. He chickened out of the kiss because he felt shy that day. He was sweet and friendly but also a little shy in a cute way. Also, Cal was just a cute boy. Dawn was smitten from that day onward.

As for Caelum, he immediately took note of how bright Dawn was. She eagerly introduced herself, didn't shy away from talking with adults, and was just so energetic. Dawn was charming to Caelum though he wasn't immediately crushing. He was simply... drawn to her.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

If they're ever apart, it's letter and communication devices for them.

Dawn actually prefers letters because then she can keep the messages that Caelum has sent her. She can reread all the kind and encouraging words he's give her.

Caelum likes making calls more because aaahhhhh! He loves the sound of Dawn's voice so so much! She sounds like a singing angel to him! And he wants to make her laugh and hear her laugh and kajhdgiaushrt!

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

"Torisetsu" (translated at "instruction manual") by Kana Nishino.

It's a song about a girl explaining to her new partner how to treat her once they're in a relationship. There's a lot of "instructions" for the relationship in the song and it's a bit cheeky too.

This song reminds me of Dawn and Caelum because I imagine it being a sort of conversation once they get together. This is because of how they were prior to getting together. Caelum was basically afraid of romance and didn't even flirt. And so Dawn is asking Cal to be super doting and romantic with her once they're a couple. Of course she'll be equally devoted but she's taking Cal aside and telling him to please, please be so romantic.

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?

I mean once Dawn and Caelum hold hands for the first time as an official couple, they are practically glued to each other. Dawn and Caelum have known each other their whole lives, have seen the best and worst of each other through those times. Thankfully, they've never hurt each other intentionally and in any cases where they did each other wrong unintentionally, they apologized and forgave each other.

For Dawn, she's loved Caelum from the very start and after loving him for her whole life, she cannot really bring herself to stop loving him or let him go after finally getting together with him.

For Caelum, he always liked and admired Dawn but realized his feelings way later. And after spending so long in the dark about his own feelings, he wants to hold onto Dawn for the rest of his life.

They just... don't want to be apart after getting together... Babies...

.....

Kai'ichi x Ezio

3. What was their first impression of each other?

Most likely, Ezio's first impression of Kai'ichi would be that Kai is loud and reckless, much like his uncle Sukehiro. And well, that's what Kai is like. But when Ezio looks a little closer, he'll find that Kai has no sense of social decorum and might even take pity on how poorly Kai manages himself.

Kai'ichi, meanwhile, at first sees Ezio as an ordinary, fun-loving guy but not much else. He didn't expect much from a person who chatted aimlessly and flirted with multiple people. He didn't expect Ezio to be so brave on the battlefield and encouraging to those who struggle to socialize.

I'm sure they both would surprise each other with their unexpected sides.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

If they're forced apart and Ezio can't simply teleport to Kai'ichi, they'd likely keep contact through communication devices. Kai'ichi likes to do the real-time conversations and chat about their daily lives or vent things. He wants to know things as soon as they happen but it comes with a downside that is Ezio complains, Kai'ichi can only get angry that he can't be there to help Ezio.

But if they can't even communicate via devices, Kai'ichi will wait it out, distracting himself from longing by intensely training. Thinking about things he can't do a thing about tends to frustrate Kai. Poor boy.

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

"Accidentally in Love" by Counting Crows. Because, quite honestly, we stumbled upon making this ship. It was purely by accident that the two of us went "actually wait, there's potential with these two..."

But also, once Ezio is in love, he's deep in it. And Kai'ichi would be just as into it because he doesn't do anything halfheartedly. Kai's thoughts are "I didn't mean to fall in love but I'm not some coward who will run away from these feelings!"

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?

I could see a scenario where Kai'ichi and Ezio would break up, mostly over Kai's desire to stay in Hino to become a member of the Ryuzen Seven and eventually the shogun. If Ezio is determined to stay in Clover and they decided not to try a long distance relationship, then they'd split up.

And honestly, Kai'ichi might take it a little better. But not by much...

Ezio would definitely cry a lot more than Kai'ichi would. He'd need his parents and friends to wipe his tears and bring his mood back up. And he might try to bury his heartbreak by flirting around afterwards.

Kai'ichi hides his sorrow better but he'd be in a funk with training and fighting because he'd struggle to figure out how something he put so much passion into could just fail... He'd cry less only because he's so lost about how things fell apart...

[kaylierosewriter]

This is my latest version of the query letter for The StarHawk, a 100,000 word SciFantasy novel crossing genres between fantasy and the stars. I’d love your thoughts and suggestions!

Dear xxxx,

Aboard the spaceship StarHawk, an elite student of the mystical Way of the Charis is about to discover that her prestigious peacekeeping Order harbors dark secrets. When Lyrae becomes plagued by visions of intergalactic war, she uncovers truths buried deep in the Order of Libra's history—truths that reveal a threat capable of destroying both past and future. As the visions intensify, Lyrae finds herself transformed from the Order's most promising acolyte to an unwitting pawn in their machinations. All she’d wanted was to live up to the Order’s expectations. But now she must decide: remain loyal to the institution that raised her or trust the terrifying prophecies that could tear it all apart.

THE STARHAWK - THE ORDER OF LIBRA is a 100,000-word fantasy novel that weaves mystical elements into a space-faring setting. Drawing readers into a universe where prophecy meets starlight, it will appeal to fans of THE UNMAKING OF JUNE FARROW's prophetic journey and THE STARLESS CROWN's sweeping cosmic scale. While the novel stands complete, it opens the door to future adventures in this vast universe.

As a published poet with works including "Reflecting the Sky" (Silver Bow Publishing, 2022) and pieces featured in the "Circular Whispers" anthology, I bring a lyrical sensibility to my prose. My storytelling has been shaped by a lifetime of immersion in fantasy, particularly the character-rich worlds of Tolkien, David Eddings, and Terry Brooks.

Having grown up immersed in both classic fantasy and the Star Wars universe, my storytelling draws from the character-rich worlds of Tolkien and Brooks while embracing the space opera mastery of Timothy Zahn's novels. This dual influence has helped shape THE STARHAWK into a unique blend of mystical fantasy and interstellar adventure. Given your interest in science fiction that pushes boundaries while honoring its roots, I believe this project would be a strong fit for your list. As requested in your submission guidelines, I've included the Prologue and first three chapters along with this letter and synopsis.

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Kaylie Chamberlain (writing as Kaylie Rose)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

KAIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I FEEL SOOOOOOOOOOOOO INSANE I FEEL LIKE I’M ABOUT TO EXPLODE I FEEL LIKE WEEPING………………. this fic fully took me out i’m literally bursting at the SEAMS w love for this man I ADORED THIS FIC TO THE MOON AND BACK!!!! and i adore ur sugu so much it makes me look silly…

we’re just gonna get right into it bc i suck at verbalizing my love for fics unless i do it like this PJDKDB this got long !! obv !!! it’s my love letter to u and sugu <333 AND THIS FIC OFC i rlly do mean it when i say this was lifechanging … it’s midnight rn and i’m sleepy but i want u to know i shed real tears over this fic . Actual tears. i sniffled under my blanket when sugu and reader were talking in the bathtub. ur sugu feels so real and human and he’s so lovely WE’LL GET TO THAT SOON THOUGH here’s a drink and a snack for u while u read 🍵🍰 i hope u like matcha !! if not have some coffee ☕️ with honey 🍯 ok atp i think i just like using the food emojis PHDJFJ 😭😭

the first time you kiss suguru’s knuckles, he falters.

WHAT A WAYYYYY TO BEGIN UR FIC immediately i was like ….. yeahhh this is gonna break me. AND THE KNUCKLE KISS THE KNUCKLE KISSSSS KAIRO OUR BRAINS ARE SMOOCHING isn’t it just perfect for sugu … giving or receiving ….. no but knuckle kisses are a favorite of mine they’re just so full of devotion so pure in a way … love how often they appeared in the fic and how soft they make him 🥺🥺

his mesmerizing gaze is directed at you, molten gold eyes inquisitive. irrevocably fond.

MOLTEN GOLD EYESSSS i LOVE the way u describe his eyes throughout this fic kairo…. u really make me imagine them all artsy and golden he’s sooo mesmerizing

your thumb gingerly caresses his ring finger (the one that holds a devout vow of eternal love), your featherlight touch raising wonderful shivers across his body. with the utmost care, you delicately, as if he’s made out of precious china, brush your supple glossed lips against his fingers, relishing in the coolness of his promise ring that encases both his aquamarine birthstone & your own. 

I LOVEEEEE UR DESCRIPTIONS I LOVE UR IMAGERY (<- will be repeating this often i think BUT I MEAN IT OK) and ohhhhh my fucking god kairo….. one thing abt ur sugu is that he is a SAP and that’s canon to me. u Get him. HE’S SUCHHHH A ROMANTIC THE PROMISE RINGS W UR BIRTHSTONES????? ack i’m just . the way every single he does has a thought behind it… a sentiment….. he’s the sweetest ever :(((

suguru’s amber eyes widen significantly, soft black eyelashes fluttering like raven wings against the tan of his cheek that’s blushed with a hue of raspberry red. mouth slightly ajar in surprise, his silver lip ring glints like starlight in the sunset daze of the evening, while his pierced tongue is pressed against his own cheek to stop himself from becoming a bumbling, stuttering mess. 

IMMEDIATELY I HAVE TO MENTION UR DESCRIPTIONS AND IMAGERY AGAIN BC WOWWWWWW kairo i truly do adore ur writing….. it blows my MIND that this is ur first real fic like u are so talented. it makes me sick to my stomach actually. i need to give u the nobel prize in literature these words of praise wont do …. 😞😞😞 AND AHEHWHDHHDHFHDHFHFH THE TONGUE PIERCINGGGGGGGG THE ARI/KAIRO HIVEMIND IS SO REAL i love. ur sugu. not just the mental descriptions but the physical too. like the piercings…. the tattoos…. sigh. he’s so sexy it makes me angry. and the way he gets shyyyy 🥺🥺🥺 he’s a baby . our baby.

if he speaks — he wholeheartedly believes all that’ll tumble out of his lips will be unabashedly fervent divulgances of: “i love you. i love you. i love you.” 

WAHHHHHH HE’S SO SWEETT i love this line sm :((( smth abt it just hits me so hard he rlly is overflowing with love !!!! it just spills out !!!!!

adoration blooms out of his ribcage like a meadow of daffodils, sweetness enveloping around his heart, soft ivory petals and sage green tendrils wrapping themselves delicately over his bones. he reckons that if you couldn’t hear his heartbeat hammering out of his chest before, you definitely can now.

THISSSSS DESCRIPTION KAIRO R U TRYING TO HAVE ME HOSPITALIZED 😭😭😭😭 this is so downright STUNNING i can’t handle it at all…… not even a little bit…… had to take a breather after this literally nothing gets me as weak as flower imagery + ribcage imagery and when they’re COMBINED?? i feel ill. i feel like a sheet of paper abt to be blown away into the sunset.

no but this was genuinely so so pretty kairo i LOVE the way u write (<- will be repeating this a lot but again; only bc it’s true)

unbelievably charmed, he can’t help the giggle that spills its way out through his mouth like honey, a syrupy-sweet sounding little thing. his shaky fingers cover his rosy lips slightly as he laughs bashfully. he’s a bit shy because of it, but you don’t think a sound has ever been so melodious to your ears. you’d get down on one knee to kiss his knuckles reverently as many times as he wants just to hear his laughter over and over and over again.  the way you see it, it’s as if you were put on this earth to devote yourself to him. 

AWWWW DID THAT MAKE U GIGGLE BABYGIRL <33333333333 HE’S SOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING CUTE KAIRO I DROPPED DOWN TO MY KNEES?????? HE GIGGLED 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and the way u describe it too…. syrupy-sweet….. rosy lips…… shaky fingers covering them…. this gave me such immense cuteness aggression like i need to pounce on him i need to kiss him silly i need it so bad it aches

AND READER ;;;;; they’re so devoted i love the direction u took with them they rlly do feel like his knight in shining armor…. they’re both so smitten and protective and nurturing and it makes me soo :((( so emotional. i think sugu is the most devoted man alive so to be w someone who returns that treatment!!! …….. they could fix him idc

“well, aren’t you just so sweet.” suguru can’t help the coo that escapes his cherry red lips when you look up at him with your precious doe eyes, “my pretty little baby.”  he softly pinches your cheek, admiring the soft plush. he cradles your cheek with the same hand, & carefully smoothes down your hair that’s been strewn around a bit by the evening wind with the other. suguru pats your head in a nurturing manner in the process, another fond coo escaping him when he sees you preen at the attention he gives you, affectionately watching you revel in the flattering treatment.

part 1 of me genuinely fucking collapsing over this fic while giggling and kicking my feet KAIROOOOOO U CANT DO THIS TO ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 U CANTTTTTTTT I’M SO……… this genuinely made me melt into a puddle MY PRETTY LITTLE BABY… THE HEADPATS….. MY WEAKNESSES i started purring i won’t lie. humans can’t purr but i rlly did. aaaaa and the way reader just melts….. 🥺🥺 they’re the cutest little guy ever and sugu just loves babying them sm… they’re my everything……….

his golden eyes that are now an onyx, dilated with desire, flit to your mouth. his thumb outlines your pretty lips that are begging to be devoured by his own. his right hand moves to cradle the back of your head, tilting your face up so he can comfortably take control. long, slender fingers splay across your hair, bringing you closer to him, slightly tugging the strands to hear and feel you gasp against his mouth. he presses his left hand against the small of your back, coaxing you further into his body, fusing you both together. not wanting to be even a millimeter apart. he just can’t get enough of you. 

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i have no words just know i am on my hands and knees worshipping ur writing + this made me DIZZY like phewwwwww i’m so down bad it’s embarrassing. this is canon to me btw sugu 100% kisses just like this like he’s so intense in a way but also so soft?? def the type to kiss u until ur brain is all fuzzy and he has to cradle u so so softly or else u’ll just crumble into a pile of mush ….

sigh . i Need him 😔😔😔

you zig-zag around the counter, making sure you pick up the purse that suguru got for you on your previous anniversary, an acrylic charm of your favorite anime character clinking against the metal fastenings. (another gift that suguru got you, begrudgingly he might admit, because who the hell is that toji fushiguro guy anyways…) 

SO CUTEEEE i love how this fic is just BRIMMING w gifts!!!! things u get sugu, things he got u, things haibara and nanami got him, things u get satoru .. etc etc etc. there were so many mentions of things being given and it’s just so :((( this fic is just dripping w love and care …. it means sm to meee

ALSOOOOO THE TOJI CHARM PDHKFVFKFJF OH I KNOW HE WAS FUMING …… silly little man getting jealous over a hot anime guy…. reader only has eyes for u dummy !! (idk abt kairo though i think ur gonna have to fight toji for her attention sugu 😔😔😔 …)

“FORGOT SOMETHING, I ALMOST DIED.” you rush back to him, big goofy smile on your face. “baby… you’re heaving.” suguru covers his mouth, trying not to giggle out loud at how out of breath you are just by running a few feet. you’re so fucking cute.

THEIR DYNAMIC IS SOOOOO FUCKING SWEET i firmly sincerely believe that sugu belongs with a silly reader . it just makes sense to me. he’s sooo smitten w them!!! ur his silly little goose !!! <33

he turns to face you, watching how engrossed you are in your phone, tapping away incessantly. wanting your full attention, his fingers grab your chin gently to force you to look him. he jokingly purrs, “if you took me here to kill me, i’ll have you know… sitting on my face would be much easier. much more preferred.” 

my knees buckled THE . the grabbing ur face…. to get ur attention.,,.. CANONNNNNN IT’S SOOOO SUGU I DIED and don’t get me started on the sitting on his face. stupid silly man it wasn’t even his own joke smh ……….. i did melt into a puddle though u wrote him a lil too suave 😵‍💫😵‍💫

you stare at him blankly. “okay, you’ve hung out with me waaaay too much because i literally said that pick-up line to you last week and now you’re blatantly stealing it… like a THIEF. and also? you drove us here. who the hell is gonna drive me back if you’re dead?” his brows furrow and he pouts, annoyed that you didn’t fall into his arms and blush because of his (your) raunchy words. he turns away from you and opens his door to leave, brattily huffing out a, “hmph.” 

AAAAAAAAA THEY REALLY ARE JUST…. i adore their dynamic i doooooo READER IS SO SILLY i love the implication that they were just like . ”if u wanna kill me pls sit on my face king <333” they’re so real actually AND WAHHH SUGU BEING ALL GRUMPY 😭😭 he’s such a brat it’s TRUE and we don’t talk abt it enough….

the cream of his sweater and the contrast of his cascading ink-black hair entrances you, the silver hairpin you got him during a couple’s trip to kyoto in the top of his bun. the dangling deep violet amethyst gem glints in the moonlight, making him look even prettier. he turns his head to the left, from here you can’t see his eyebrow piercing or his lip piercing since they’re both on the right side of his face, but you do see his eyebrow slit — a scar which you’ve softly traced over many times. his side profile allures you effortlessly, the angular bridge of his nose and the soft cupid’s bow of his lip offering up a beautiful contrast that is suguru: graceful yet strong.

needed to mention this i don’t have anything to say except just . how beautiful it is….. how in awe i am of u and ur writing …….. like i can visualize him so clearly and he’s so gorgeous it makes me feel sick it rlly isn’t fair 😞😞😞…. all the piercings…. save me kairo i’m abt to crumble……

he sits up and picks up the tonkatsu sandwich, handing you the bigger half. “but seriously, how’d you find this place?” you take the smaller half from his grasp instead, switching with him. taking a bite, you hum happily. 

AAAAAA THESE SMALL DETAILS ALWAYS GET ME he offers u the bigger half but u take the smaller one 🥺🥺🥺 i feel like just these two lines depict their dynamic so well. they’re always always looking out for each other :(((

if you’re being honest with yourself, the best thing to experience in your life is getting to see suguru act genuinely excited. his eagerness to discover new things is infectious, and the man before you is the real suguru: dorky, eclectic, passionate. 

AND THIS 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 kairo u understand him….. u Get it…….. i can’t not see him as a huge dork like that’s just what he is. he can act mysterious and suave and cool all he wants but we know the truth!! he’s a lil nerdy dork and it’s the most charming thing abt him <3333 reader’s love for him is also so palpable here …. they love all sides of him so dearly ☹️☹️☹️

“plus, it’s really hot when you’re all stern and tellin’ me off. what’s my incentive to listen to every word you say if i can get you scoldin’ me instead?” you tilt your head against your hand, grin wide, teeth bared. the masochist in you wants him to scold you even further. 

SOOOOOOO FUCKING REAL THEY’RE SO ME i need sugu to scold me i think it would fix me entirely

you shrug. “if you do it like a hot stern professor, then sure.” you both shake on it. he rolls his eyes playfully, trying to stop the smile that threatens to creep up on his face. “ugh. fine. be quiet and come over here.” he picks you up underneath your thighs and puts you in between his legs. your back pressed against his warm, sturdy chest. he kisses you on the head, appreciative of your indulgence of him. 

AGAIN SO REAL SO VERY REAL professor sugu…, the way i love u so……,, AND AAAA PULLING U INTO HIS LAP TO TELL U ABT THE STARS <333 he’s the ideal man genuinely

“you’re the light of my life, you illuminate my life, you’re the sole star and center of my universe, blah blah blah… so i figured… ya know…!” you gesticulate wildly, and in the moonlight suguru can see the slight blush on your cheeks. your eyes looking everywhere else but his own. you’re shy. 

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 THEY’RE SHYYYYYY THIS WAS JUST SO SO SWEET…. the gesture is so thoughtful too i don’t blame sugu for going a lil feral tbh

you scratch the back of your head, trying to save face. you quickly backtrack, “i know it’s a bit cheesy and honestly, technically, this was probably a scam, but i figured it was the thought that counts and–”

PHDIFJFJFJJD READER’S DIALOGUE GOT SO MANY GIGGLES OUT OF ME i support their maybe possibly a scam gift giving tendencies <333

suguru’s seductive low-lidded gaze is locked on you, parts of his bangs wisped across his face from the momentum of pouncing on you. he’s breathing heavily, and you can feel his rapid heartbeat hammering against yours, his nipple piercings slightly poking into your chest. a rosy blush spreads itself on his cheeks like a strawberry jam, and you don’t think any view could compare to the one you’re blessed to see now. 

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫K😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 KA 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 KAIR 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 KAIROOOOOO U CAN’T…… JUST CASUALLY MENTION THE NIP PIERCINGS………….,.,,, 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I’M ALREADY ON THE FLOOR PLS LET ME BREATHE FOR A SECOND ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

(also <33 ur descriptions <3333 yeah. need this man on top of me asap preferably suffocating me w his giant tiddies WHO SAID THAT)

pulling away once more, and peering deep into his amber orbs, you think that his eyes carry the most beautiful stars. a milky way of ochre and obsidian. 

ari/kairo hivemind so real i think i have a sugu wip somewhere comparing his eyes to the milky way too….. AAAA IT’S SUCH A LOVELY DESCRIPTION i cried

bright amber eyes which often have a gentle look in them have turned into a dull ochre, obsidian pupils overtaking his irises. they’re still gentle because he’s looking at you… but if you’re being honest with yourself, his eyes remind you a bit of a black hole right now. vacant of light. 

☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ this part fucked me uppppppp i can’t lie it hurts so luch to imagine sugu that way but it’s also such a real and important aspect of his character!!! and it shows reader’s devotion so so clearly. they’re there for him no matter what!! and he would do the same for them!!!

and ofc i need to mention ur writing again i just loveeee how u portray his eyes in this and how they can go from gold to gray like it’s so… telling and so pretty and so heartwrenching :(((((

hey king can you do me a favor what’s up buttercup

THE TEXTS W SATORU PSHFODJFJJFID THEY’RE SO REALLLLL personally i think any readers paired w sugu or toru HAVE to be besties w the other one like it just makes sense…. i love the friendship between all three of them in this !!! toru loves both reader and sugu sm and they love him right back <333

(sometimes you think that satoru really was an angel put onto earth.) (but then you think that he was probably cast out of heaven for being a little shit.)

PHDIFJFJHFUF REALLLLLLLL our angel boy <333 infuriating and teasing and oh so sweet <3333

he kisses your temple gently. you plant a soft kiss his against knuckles. you think your eyes deceive you see a semblance of a twinkle in his eyes. “love you baby. i’ll bring you back somethin’.” he rasps out softly. 

☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️i sniffled. he’s physically incapable of not being tender when he’s with them…. and the way he makes sure to let them know he loves them even in such a miserable state… the way he’s thinking of them and tending to them hhhhhh i love him sm 💔💔💔

satoru arrives, wearing a crisp white button up and black tinted glasses, his snowy white hair shining like starlight thanks to the sunbeams that hit him. he hugs suguru gently, placing a soft kiss against his temples.

THE KISS TO HIS TEMPLES 💔💔💔💔 stsg my angels on this earth

you get a can of sprite, his preferred soda, out from the fridge and put it on the counter. you decide to place an order for takeout from suguru’s favorite local spot, one that sells cold zaru soba noodles, his favorite food. you place another order at his favorite bakery for matcha crepes, his most loved dessert. the zaru soba will come within an hour and a half, but the dessert will come sooner so you also order a flower delivery too — a cute little surprise which will come within the same amount of time as the crepes. you figure that you’ll also do the same for satoru, a little thank-you present for when he comes back to his own apartment. you order a bouquet of narcissus & holly for him, internally hoping that he likes it. you also order all of his favorite desserts from his favorite bakery! knowing that he will happily fill himself up on raspberry macarons, strawberry cake, vanilla mochi, chocolate donuts, & zunda cream kikufuku to his heart’s desire.

I LOVED THIS SO MUCH reader is so so caring and devoted like they’re just overflowing w affection!!! just like sugu!!!! reading this made me so so happy aaaaa ….., all their favorites!!! :(((( sniffle sniffle they’re the cutest ever …. made me hungry too 💔

in his hand are a bunch of shopping bags from stores that satoru dragged him to — clothes from your favorite stores, accessories & bags that you most wear, shoes that you need, books & knick knacks that you like — all for you. he bought a few for himself of course, but he mainly wanted to spoil you. he can’t help the small smile that creeps up on his face when he thinks about how excited you’ll be to see the gifts he got you.

GOSHHHHH THEY’RE BOTH SO SMITTEN I CAN’T STAND THEM he got a bunch of gifts just for u…. 😔😔😔😔 and he’s so excited to see ur reaction…, just like reader is for him……. their love is so pure

he knows from the bottom of his heart that you’d never judge him or make him feel small for feeling the way he felt, he just feels so bad that he couldn’t even muster up the energy to greet you the way you deserved to be greeted. to kiss you. to hug you. to have a delicious dinner together and snuggle with you. but no. after a long trip you had to come home and be worried for him. have the apartment be in disarray, have to see him be in disarray. fuck, you were worried enough to call up satoru. he swears to himself that he’s gonna make it up to you. he swears that–

☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ our caring selfless little guy this made me melt bc he’s just sooooo in love and he feels so guilty and he’s always just wired towards tending to ur every need….. to loving u….. but he deserves that treatment just as much!!! stupid silly sugu!!!!!!!!! >:c

a fresh smell envelopes his sinuses. he swallows the lump in his throat. did you smell the single cigarette he smoked? it seems like you aired out the whole apartment. in front of him is a beautiful sunset that waves at him from outside. a sunray beam kisses his cheeks. suguru blinks and feels something wet trailing down his face… it tastes salty on his lips. but feels so warm and sweet. 

WAHHHHHH ANOTHER BREATHTAKING DESCRIPTION this one made me sosososo soft…… just so vibrant so warm so sweet!!!! i literally saw it unfold in my brain anime style LMAO like the warm lighting!!! the tears!!! i’ve been watching too much haikyuu smh i pictured it just like an emotional hq scene….. just so gorgeous and tender

“for me?” he rasps, a teasing tilt to his voice.  ”always. everything and anything i do will always be for you.” you say it seriously. genuinely. to you, it’s a vow. an oath. 

READER IS SOOOOOOOOOOO DEVOTED IT ACHES this is exactly what sugu deserves!!!! and the vow… the oath….. u alr know how i feel abt those this made me a lil insane

he fears that if he speaks any louder than a whisper, the love that overcomes him will drown his airways. he rasps out a small, “yeah.” always. anything and everything you do will always be right for me. 

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and this …. the way their thoughts overlap sm……. they will always be so so devoted to each other’s happiness :(((((

from this angle, you can also see your name that he tattooed behind his ear. smiling to yourself, you sit behind him, ready to begin the pamper session. 

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 KAIRO? STOP MENTIONING THESE THINGS IN PASSING DO U WANT ME TO DIE BE HONEST ohhhhhh he WOULD get ur name tattooed wouldnt he….. and i would simply fall to my knees and weep HE IS A SAP AND I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING

he’d never stop you or scold you however, he thinks it’s hilarious and an endearing trait of yours. when he washes your hair he makes sure to be as soft and careful as possible, almost lulling you to sleep. when you wash his hair however, it’s like you’re turbowashing a pickup truck.

LOVEEEEEE THIS DYNAMIC THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE gentle bf x manhandling gf…….. the only dynamic ever…………

it’s just that his parents were angry that their picture-perfect little boy wanted to spread his wings… see a world that had more to offer than quiet dinner table meals filled with tension and pointed jabs at one another guised as “caring advice.” 

AAAHHHHHH KAIRO WE HAVE SM TO TALK ABT……….. i just feel like our views of sugu overlap so much and it makes me SO so happy !!!! like the whole thing abt his parents …. i think it’s one of the most important and interesting aspects of suguru’s character…. bc we literally don’t know shit abt suguru’s family we just know that he killed them. and i feel like a lot of fan interpretations i’ve seen depict his family as loving and supportive WHICH IS VALID and makes his choice to kill them heartwrenching in a different kind of way but !!! personally i just can’t see it like that.

i think his relation to his family was strained at best and that’s definitely the case for almost every sorcerer born into a non-sorcerer family….. one of my personal hcs when it comes to sugu is that his lying personality formed when he was very young, because of his ability to see curses :(( i can just picture him telling his parents and being terrified only to have them scold him for it…. because who would take that kind of talk seriously? and that reaction resulting in him just kind of… shutting himself off from the the world. not really trusting anyone to understand him.

obv those r just my thoughts on canon sugu but i LOVE the way u depict his family and their dynamic here bc it’s literally exactly how i picture it too!!! not entirely loveless, but strained. suffocating. a cold kind of household where he can’t be himself :(( it just makes sm sense in my head u just described his feelings abt it so so well!!! i did in fact cry LMAO it resonated w me so deeply!!!

then one day, months later, suguru kissed a pretty boy. he can’t quite remember his name anymore, just that his lips were soft and his eyes were kind. suguru’s parents found out. his dad was surprisingly fine with it… he just assumed it was a phase, he went through the same thing as his son did when he was his age. his mother however… she just acted like it never happened the next morning. as if it wasn’t just a part of who he is. 

SUGURUUUUUU MY QUEER ICON <3333333 this is so canon to me but also his dad’s reaction….. 💀💀 my favorite flavor of conservative father is the one who’s so deep in the closet it’s turned into a casket like … ”he went through the same thing when he was his age”……. ohhhh dad i have some news for u……….

and his mother’s reaction …. yeahhh. kairo me and u are holding hands so tight rn. i picture his father as being very cold, very strict, very controlling, while his mother is loving but in a very conditional way. and her reaction here hurts the most because she isn’t lashing out, she’s just . acting like it didn’t even happen !! i feel like those reactions are the most deadly when it comes to queer kids :((

a kiss against his scalp breaks him out of his reverie. right… he was here with you. he doesn’t have to spiral or worry anymore. you’re here. with him.  you’re here, you’re here, you’re here. 

THIS IS THE PART WHERE I CRIEDDDDDD OK IT JUST GOT TO ME i am so weak for ….. found family……….. characters finding a home of their own after growing up in a broken one…..,., sugu finding all the comfort he needs in his beloved angel :(( a person that he chose himself!!! who loves him and makes him feel safe!!!! sighhhh they mean the world to me they do…..

he shudders softly, taking your hand, holding it tight within his grasp. anger laces his next words, “they also said it’s time i get into a ‘real relationship’. whatever the fuck that means.” you giggle. you know that his parents aren’t too fond of you. you’re not exactly of the same… class or status as them. at least that’s what suguru’s mother told him. he huffs out a single dry laugh, “i’m glad you’re giggling about it because i nearly popped a fucking blood vessel screaming into my phone when they said that shit.” “my protector.” you coo to him. a light blush tinges his cheeks. always. 

AAAAAAAA I ADORED THIS PART SO SM IT’S SO FUNNY AND SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭 sugu is just soooooooo angry and protective i love the idea that this particular comment got to him the most bc he can handle abuse towards himself but to his beloved?????? yeahhhhh no . papabear sugu coming out INSTANTLY. and reader just thinks it’s funny ohhhh their dynamic kairo 💔💔💔 my protector…. always………. i collapsed my head hit the concrete etc etc THEY PROTECT EACH OTHER SO EFFORTLESSLY SO FERVENTLY protective sugu just gets me so weak…..

suguru’s heart and sobs only calmed down when he thought of you. his beloved. his angel. his reason to be. he hugged your pillow a bit tighter that night, imagining it was you. 

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i cried . his reason to be…. ohhhh baby boy angel boy sweet little donut of mine he’s just so so cute. hugging the pillow pretending it was u :(((((( sniffle …

voice a bit shaky, he laughs, “sorry for getting you all wet. i know how much you hate drenched clothes.” “you apologizing for getting me wet? now that’s a first.” you purr playfully, glad to see him in better spirits. a loud laugh bellows out from suguru, deep within his gut. he kisses your lips preciously, and sits back down in the water, urging you to continue. 

THEIR BANTER AND FLIRTING IS SO SILLY AND SWEET AND COMFORTING this scene made me so happy it’s insane……… the loud laugh!!! i bet reader felt soooooo proud <33333 and the wet hug awwwwwww he just needed to hug them so bad 🥺🥺 they’re so cute .

for once in his whole entire life, suguru doesn’t think he can bear to look you in the eye. your adoration is so unbelievably intense, it feels like it’ll burn a hole inside his heart. does he deserve so much goodness in his life? 

THEY’RE THE SAMEEEEEE they’re so devoted it burns a little …. AND YES U DO SILLY LITTLE DUMBASS u deserve all of it and more 😔😔😔😔

he clears his throat. “okay, c’mon. i’m starving. i wanna watch that stupid anime and shit talk that hot guy you like on screen while we snuggle.”  “he’s the best character, suguru!” you huff indignantly. clearly he can’t be talking about thee toji fushiguro???

READER IS THE REALEST AS ALWAYS sugu being jealous of ur favorite fictional character is still so real to me like he’s such a little loser ….. do we think he would put on the compression shirt + sweatpants combo just to get u to drool over him instead of toji yes or yes

he knows you so well, he muses to himself. he knows how your breath hitches after he nuzzles his lips against the curve of your neck, that the skin is sensitive there, but not as sensitive as your right ear. he knows that because of the way your knees buckle as he whispers soft romances to you, intense shivers overtaking your body. he makes sure that his arm is always wrapped tender yet firmly around your waist when that happens, trapping you against his unyielding body. he knows what makes you tick. on the rare occasion that you allow your emotions to overcome you, he knows how to comfort you. he leaves you alone for a few moments so you’re able to gather your thoughts & assess your bearings, and then he invites you into his warm embrace. he lets you lay your head in his lap as he strokes your hair gingerly, easing your soul with both honest and kind words. adorning your face with soft kisses and even softer caresses. a cocoon of protection.

part 182337 of ari completely fucking losing it over this fic giggling and kicking my feet these descriptions absolutely floored me they are SO palpably fond and knowing and gentle n just :(( to be known is to be loved … etc etc……. a cocoon of protection :((((((( papabear sugu. <3

he sighs to himself. he trusts you. he loves you. he knows you’re not doing anything heinous. but… why won’t you tell him what’s bothering you? don’t you trust him to fix whatever is wrong? it eats away at his mind & soul that you think you have to hide whatever it is that’s taking you from him. don’t you know that he’d drop anything for you? that’s what being in love is for, right? 

I LOVEEEEEEE UR SUGU SM I TRULY DO he just wants to fix anything that’s wrong … wants u to depend on him so badly …….. wants to make u happy always always always 💔💔💔 i can imagine him being soooo frustrated when u don’t allow him to help like i think that’s the one thing that he just can’t stand. he needs u to need him :((( needs to soothe u or else he spirals </3

his eyes peer at you from the couch, studying you. he calls out to you softly, “angel. can we talk, please?”   a statement posed as a question. he knows this. you know this. you answer regardless.   “sure.”   you walk towards him, intentionally adding a lackadaisical swagger to your steps. to fool him. you know it won’t, he knows it won’t. but suguru isn’t anything if a man who doesn’t indulge his beloved. he pats the seat next to him on the couch. inviting. as if he’s giving you a choice, even though you know you have none at the moment. “sit next to me, my love.” his smile is taut like a string, amber eyes shut closed so you don’t bear witness to the tears that threaten to spill. 

u alr know how i feel abt this whole entire scene but WOWWWWWW i melted so many times. MY LOVE…………. ohhhhh the sugu 🤝 my love combo truly is lethal. AND ANGELLLLL 💔💔💔 his softness is so vivid here too!!!!

suguru chastises himself, thoroughly. of course you wouldn’t want to speak to someone like him.   always the overthinker. always the nagging negative nancy. always the manic-depressive.  sometimes suguru fears that he acts more like a father to you rather than a boyfriend. that he’s a bit suffocating. too intense. very overbearing.  a warm hand engulfs both of your small, cold ones. he hopes that it comes off as sweet, as caring. because he himself is sweet and caring.   at least he hopes he comes off like that. 

U ALREADY KNOWWWWWW HOW INSANE THIS MADE ME (just apply this comment to every upcoming line from this scene too) HE’S SOOO FATHERCODED SO MOTHERCODED just so nurturing to the point that maybe it’s a lil intense sometimes :((( and wahhhh u depicted his overthinking habits so so well…….. he’s trying so hard to be good for u!!! to be what u need!!!! :< and he’s doing so well but he can’t rlly see it…

“is everything alright, sweetheart?” a soft whisper. he speaks placatingly to you like you’re a newborn fawn and any loud noises or large movements will make you jolt and run away. “i feel like… you’ve been avoiding me recently. and…” he takes a deep breath. “listen, i don’t know if it’s something i did, but you need to tell me, okay? you have to tell me so i can make it better.” he thinks he sounds nurturing. kind. paternal.  he also thinks he sounds so fucking condescending. 

i melted into a wholeee puddle one thing that always gets me weak is when sugu treats his reader like they’re fragile ….. it just gets me so soft AND HE’S SOOOO DEVOTED SO CARING IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY he just wants to make it better!!!! he has to make it better!!!!!!! :(( his overthinking is soooo clear here too….., he knows there’s a fine line between nurturing and condescending and he wants so badly not to cross it :(((( he’s just so naturally paternal like he truly is… motherly men my beloveds <3333 but it hurts to see him be so hard on himself !!

he gulps, swallowing the fireball in his throat. god, he really doesn’t want to be like… him. having a majority of his features is enough, he does not want to inherit that man’s personality. 

SUGU AND HIS DADDY ISSUES MEAN THE WORLD TO MEEEEE this feels so canon too….. U AREN’T LIKE HIM AT ALLLL SUGU UR THE SWEETEST GUY IN THE WORLD :((((( sniffle…. he overthinks sm but he really is so wonderful…….

“don’t look at it in front of me! okay, bye!” you quickly sprint into your room, not wanting to be in the room when suguru looks at such a personalized present. blinking, he grabs his reading glasses from the coffee table, and opens the book, flipping through each page carefully. 

BAHAHSHAJ READER IS SO REAL FOR THIS i’m like that too 😭😭😭 AND KAIROOOOOOO HERE WE GO AGAIN I JUST CANT CATCH A BREAK IN THIS HOUSE SMH sugu w …. reading glasses ……… 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i genuinely started breathing so heavily he’s so sexy it pains me

photobooth pictures, polaroids, kodak film pictures, movie ticketes from your dates, admission tickets from amusement parks he’s taken you to, and multiple candids of both him and you - many of which he hasn’t seen. 

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 this was just the sweetest thing.,. i KNOW it meant sm to sugu too like u just get him kairo….. he’s a sentimentalist!!! he WOULDDD cry i know he would it’s canon …. sugu is a crier to me i think he falters sm when he’s faced with a love that’s so tender and warm :(((

he sniffs loudly and tries to wipe his face the best he can. he tenderly calls out your name, beckoning you over to him, and you get up out of your shared bedroom to pad softly into his open arms. “my love.” he stands up and walks over to you midway. he hugs you so tightly while pressing your head against his beating heart, his arms protectively enveloping you. the space between you two is nonexistent, and suguru surmises that he wouldn’t have it any other way. conveying his thankfulness and love to you, he sweetly says, “my sweet, sweet girl.” a soft kiss pressed against your hair, “my heart beats for you, forever and always.” from anyone else it’d sound cheesy, but from suguru… you know he means it from the depths of his soul. “my little dove.” he coos so fondly, sweet candied sugar dripping from every syllable. he holds your face in his gentle hands, openly divulging his admiration for you, “you’re so precious to me, you know that? i love you. i love you. i love you.” a tender kiss pressed against your soft lips between each proclivity of adoration. 

^ my live reaction KAIROOOOOO I GENUINELY MWLTED i know ive said that like 50 times so far BUT THIS TIME I RLLY RLLY MEAN IT like it was just…… attack after attack…….. hitting every single one of my weak spots…… this scene made me feel so SOFT i thought i was gonna turn into jelly :(( the soft beckoning !!!! the tears and coos and kisses !!! MY LOVE ……. MY SWEET GIRL ???????????? UR SO CRUEEEEELLLLL THAT’S MY GREATEST WEAKNESS MY BREATH HITCHED pls don’t get me started on my little dove….. pls dont ………. the fondness of it all .. i cried i need him so BAD it’s not funny anymore 😞😞😞😞😞

if you asked suguru to describe you in three words, he’d say you were: devoted. loyal. loving.  he has four more of his own on the tip of his tongue that he’ll say to you when he musters up the courage. with a soft kiss upon the ring on your knuckles, and an even softer smile upon his lips, he lovingly breathes out, “私はあなたを永遠に愛します”

AAANNNDDDD THE FINALEEEE WOW WOW WOW I CRIED this was the perfect way to end it….. the devotion and loyalty and love !!!!! KISSING UR RINGGGGGGG i knowwww he wants to marry u so bad it makes him look silly AND THE WORDS :((( i hope google translate didn’t butcher it lmao BUT AAAAAAAAA i’ll love you forever…………… hhhh. just encompasses their love so well :(( it’s just so steadfast and so soft . and the promise of marriage……. sigjhhh they’re just so SMITTEN it makes me so emotional!!!! i rlly do adore their dynamic to the moon and back 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAAAAAA KAIRO THIS WAS JUST SUCH A TREAT……. i rlly hope u can feel alllll the love i have for this fic and u and sugu from these reactions!!!!! so many parts of this made me feel so emotional and it was just written so so well and thoughtfully……. ur characterization and imagery and everything is just so perfect !!!! :(((( this is also one of the tastiest sugu depictions i’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing (<- is still thinking abt the nip piercings PHDKFJFJFJ) u just wrote him in such a lovely way that feels so canon to me!!!!!

hhhhhh i’m just soo in awe of u always ………….. tysm for writing this and blessing sugu nation 🙏🙏 i will be thinking of this fic and ur sugu always and forever ILYYYYYY <333

black is the color of my true love’s hair

♡ your devotion to suguru is second to none - you would do anything for your beloved! bonded by true love, loyalty, & utter admiration, these are a few moments where suguru has been unbelievably thankful for you & smitten by your acts of love & service! (a story from my suguru geto: valentine’s day fic list!)

a/n: belated birthday fic for my beloved husband suguru geto <3 the title of the fic is based on a rendition of the song “black is the colour” by celtic woman! imo it’s the most loving & devotional song i’ve ever heard so i wanted to do a story based on those themes with my favorite black-haired man <3 MY true love <3 p.s. this is my first time ever writing an actual fic & it got a bit long because i got carried away so please bear w me! i hope you enjoy and happy valentine’s day! <3 MWAH!

- f!reader, no curses au, reader is short/blushes/has hair that can be ran through with fingers! slightly suggestive, cursing, mentions of depression/anxiety/self-destructive behaviors. but i promise this is a soft, fluffy fic! it’ll make sense when you read it! dividers are from @saradika! w.c: ~ 11.5k

it’s a simple action, really.

you tilt your head slightly to the right and lift your face up to gaze adoringly at him through your lashes, a mirthful twinkle dancing in your eyes. a soft smirk coupled with a light blush adorns your angelic features, a precious look, which suguru has come to be utterly enchanted by due to the loving action that follows immediately after.

you catch him off guard the first time you do it.

the first time you kiss suguru’s knuckles, he falters.

it’s the way that you do it. naturally & effortlessly, as if it’s like second nature, that causes suguru to stop in his tracks and dedicate all of his attention to you.

his mesmerizing gaze is directed at you, molten gold eyes inquisitive. irrevocably fond.

he attentively watches as you softly grab his large warm hand in your small cold one. his hands are slightly rough yet supple due to his religious use of the honey-almond handcream you bought him earlier in the week.

he notices, rather than intertwining your fingers with his own and holding them, you smoothly bring his hand up to your face, wrapping your digits loosely around the perimeter of his long slender fingers.

your thumb gingerly caresses his ring finger (the one that holds a devout vow of eternal love), your featherlight touch raising wonderful shivers across his body. with the utmost care, you delicately, as if he’s made out of precious china, brush your supple glossed lips against his fingers, relishing in the coolness of his promise ring that encases both his aquamarine birthstone & your own.

your low-lidded enamored eyes never leave his affectionately curious ones — both of you preciously holding the other ones gaze. eyes locked in a staring contest of love.

utterly content with his undivided attention, you gently press a soft kiss to his knuckles.

a sign of affection.

an act, a promise, of complete & utter devotion.

his pierced eyebrow raises slightly due to the suaveness of your actions. he tries to gather his bearings, his brain fuzzy with your actions — did you actually just do that?

suguru’s amber eyes widen significantly, soft black eyelashes fluttering like raven wings against the tan of his cheek that’s blushed with a hue of raspberry red. mouth slightly ajar in surprise, his silver lip ring glints like starlight in the sunset daze of the evening, while his pierced tongue is pressed against his own cheek to stop himself from becoming a bumbling, stuttering mess.

if he speaks — he wholeheartedly believes all that’ll tumble out of his lips will be unabashedly fervent divulgances of: “i love you. i love you. i love you.”

adoration blooms out of his ribcage like a meadow of daffodils, sweetness enveloping around his heart, soft ivory petals and sage green tendrils wrapping themselves delicately over his bones. he reckons that if you couldn’t hear his heartbeat hammering out of his chest before, you definitely can now.

it’s almost as if his brain is in clouds of cotton candy, his mind in a sweet haze of shock, love, & affection. he finds himself whispering airily, “why’d you do that?”

tenderly stroking away silky strands of ink-black hair that wisp around his ethereal face, the fond smile you grace him with is saccharine sweet, “i felt like it.”

unbelievably charmed, he can’t help the giggle that spills its way out through his mouth like honey, a syrupy-sweet sounding little thing. his shaky fingers cover his rosy lips slightly as he laughs bashfully. he’s a bit shy because of it, but you don’t think a sound has ever been so melodious to your ears. you’d get down on one knee to kiss his knuckles reverently as many times as he wants just to hear his laughter over and over and over again.

the way you see it, it’s as if you were put on this earth to devote yourself to him.

like a loyal knight kisses the ring on the hand of their king with the utmost veneration, you’d do the same. without question, worshipping the ground whereupon he stands like a faithful follower would do to a cult leader. you figure in all of the other multiverses, you’re ultimately doing the same thing as what you’re doing in this one: loving him — devoutly. earnestly. passionately.

if the look of ardent rapture on your face is anything to go by, suguru might faint with the rush of pure love & endearment that flows like nectar throughout his veins.

he feels his blush bloom over his warm face which rushes towards the tips of his pierced ears, a clear sign of you flustering him.

wanting to gain back some semblance of control of the situation, he puts on a poker face, a gentleness in his eyes & a fondness in his smile still shining through. his black-nail polished thumb grazes your soft wind-chilled cheek. a beacon of warmth. a caress of admiration accompanied with a well-maintained façade of smoothness. a comforting touch for the both of you.

“well, aren’t you just so sweet.” suguru can’t help the coo that escapes his cherry red lips when you look up at him with your precious doe eyes, “my pretty little baby.”

he softly pinches your cheek, admiring the soft plush. he cradles your cheek with the same hand, & carefully smoothes down your hair that’s been strewn around a bit by the evening wind with the other. suguru pats your head in a nurturing manner in the process, another fond coo escaping him when he sees you preen at the attention he gives you, affectionately watching you revel in the flattering treatment.

your eyes widen with joy, always keening with any praise he showers you with. “i’d like to think so! now come on sugu, your pretty little baby has a lil surprise for you!” you playfully wink at him, your smile beaming like sunshine.

your warm eyes map his stunning features reverently, memorizing his elegant visage. drinking in his otherworldly beauty. as if you could never get enough.

while you openly admire him, suguru does the same to you. he doesn’t think that he’s ever been this enamored by a human being before. you’re the center of his universe, and he can’t imagine his life without you. all he can see in this moment is: you. his intense gaze holds yours as he captures both of your cheeks in his warm gentle hands, enveloping himself in your space. the perfume he bought you for your birthday invades his senses, clouding his mind in a welcomed haze.

all he can think of at the moment is: you. you. you.

all he can repeat in his mind is: mine. mine. mine.

his eyes gleam with a newfound sense of desire, wanting to show you exactly what you mean to him. what you do to him.

his golden eyes that are now an onyx, dilated with desire, flit to your mouth. his thumb outlines your pretty lips that are begging to be devoured by his own. his right hand moves to cradle the back of your head, tilting your face up so he can comfortably take control. long, slender fingers splay across your hair, bringing you closer to him, slightly tugging the strands to hear and feel you gasp against his mouth. he presses his left hand against the small of your back, coaxing you further into his body, fusing you both together. not wanting to be even a millimeter apart. he just can’t get enough of you.

it’s like a magnetic gravitational pull when he presses a soft, sensual kiss against your glossy lips. the cold metal ball in his pierced tongue explores the wet cavern of your mouth, and he can’t help but moan softly into you, relishing in your warmth.

he prays to the stars above, hoping that he can convey his sincere love, desire, & admiration for you like this. he breathes life into you and you do the same to him. kissing you with such vigor & passion, he feels like melding your lips & souls together wouldn’t be enough. he burns with a hunger to become one with you. he pleads to the universe that the intensity of his desire and yearning is relayed to you — that you crave it, crave him as much as he craves you.

with the way he’s ravenously kissing you, and how you’re excitedly kissing him back, it seems like you certainly received the message.

suguru thinks it’s a little bit funny, but very much endearing, when you run around the living room like a bumbling fawn.

you zig-zag around the counter, making sure you pick up the purse that suguru got for you on your previous anniversary, an acrylic charm of your favorite anime character clinking against the metal fastenings. (another gift that suguru got you, begrudgingly he might admit, because who the hell is that toji fushiguro guy anyways…)

you double check that all the contents you need are inside: phone, charger, lip gloss, mini perfume, credit cards — AH! you run back to your room like a panther, not wanting to forget the most important thing you need for tonight!

he can’t help himself but laugh at your frazzled antics. “baby, you can calm down! we’re going on a picnic, it’s almost impossible for us to be late!” suguru admires your punctuality, he thinks it’s sweet how you never want to keep him waiting.

“FORGOT SOMETHING, I ALMOST DIED.” you rush back to him, big goofy smile on your face.

“baby… you’re heaving.” suguru covers his mouth, trying not to giggle out loud at how out of breath you are just by running a few feet. you’re so fucking cute.

“damn…” you huff out, hands on your knees, trying to get a deep breath in. “don’t call me out like that.”

he can’t help the laugh that bellows out of him, “sorry angel, now let’s go!” he places his large hands against your back, ushering you out the door quickly, “you still haven’t told me where we’re going.”

walking you towards his black mercedes, he opens the passenger side for you. with both hands on your hips, you remind him that, “it’s a SURPISE!”

after around 45 minutes of both of you jamming out to your playlist in the car, poking his cheek while childishly asking “are we there yet?” just to annoy him for fun, and ultimately being a proper passenger princess who tells him to “just trust me!” when he asks where you two are going, you both arrive to your destination.

and the sight that he sees, enthralls him. he whistles, beguiled by the view. from here, he can see how pretty and bright the stars are, it almost looks like they’re twinkling a “hello!” at the both of you. suguru thinks to himself, a picnic here at night? he’s unbelievably mesmerized at how your brain works sometimes.

he turns to face you, watching how engrossed you are in your phone, tapping away incessantly. wanting your full attention, his fingers grab your chin gently to force you to look him. he jokingly purrs, “if you took me here to kill me, i’ll have you know… sitting on my face would be much easier. much more preferred.”

you raise your eyebrow questioningly.

“because… it’s dark and we’re in random clearing.”

you stare at him blankly. “okay, you’ve hung out with me waaaay too much because i literally said that pick-up line to you last week and now you’re blatantly stealing it… like a THIEF. and also? you drove us here. who the hell is gonna drive me back if you’re dead?”

his brows furrow and he pouts, annoyed that you didn’t fall into his arms and blush because of his (your) raunchy words. he turns away from you and opens his door to leave, brattily huffing out a, “hmph. shut up, dumbass.” with his head held up high in the air, he struts away pompously to the trunk, opening and closing it loudly. a picnic basket with food you both made together in one hand, and a soft quilt of constellations made by haibara & nanami for suguru’s previous birthday in the other.

how fitting.

you loudly snicker to yourself while getting out of the car, amused by your boyfriend’s spoiled antics. while suguru is front of you admiring the view and trying to find a spot to set up, you admire the view in front of you. whistling out a, “damn…” suguru scoffs at your flirty behavior and gives you the finger. you send an air kiss back, and he playfully swats it away.

when he turns away again, you smile to yourself dreamily. taking out your phone, you click a quick candid of him against the night sky, admiring at how he looks like a painting.

the cream of his sweater and the contrast of his cascading ink-black hair entrances you, the silver hairpin you got him during a couple’s trip to kyoto in the top of his bun. the dangling deep violet amethyst gem glints in the moonlight, making him look even prettier. he turns his head to the left, from here you can’t see his eyebrow piercing or his lip piercing since they’re both on the right side of his face, but you do see his eyebrow slit — a scar which you’ve softly traced over many times. his side profile allures you effortlessly, the angular bridge of his nose and the soft cupid’s bow of his lip offering up a beautiful contrast that is suguru: graceful yet strong.

shaking your head slightly, you break out of your trance.

you go back to the task at hand, opening your notes app and ticking off the word at the top of your list.

stargazing. ✔️

you remember suguru mentioned it in passing one day when you were both in the beginning stages of your relationship. it was on his date bucket-list ever since he could remember, and of course you wanted to be the one who would take him!

you guide him over to a little meadow overlooking the city. surrounding you both are beautiful moonflowers, their sweetness enveloping your sinuses. the air is cool and crisp, and in the distance you hear the faint chirps & buzzing of hummingbirds along with the faint caws of ravens. you’re proud of yourself that you were able to find a place this picturesque. (even to this day, you still have an urge to impress suguru in any way that you can.)

both of you sit on the quilt suguru sets down, the homemade cloth providing an extra layer of cushioning that you feel atop the softness of the grass.

you’re upon the hill clearing, close enough to the city that you can comfortably drive back while still seeing a few citylights from where you are, but far away enough that the light pollution wouldn’t interfere with the date you had planned.

“it’s pretty.” suguru glances at the view, praising you while taking out the tonkatsu sandwiches, pasta salad, & chocolate covered strawberries from your picnic wicker-basket. you pick up a bag of chips and start munching on it while he lays down on his back propped up on his elbows, opening up a banana milk to sip on.

“i’m glad you like it,” your words are muffled in between loud crunches and fast chewing, “i was worried we’d be attacked by a mountain lion or a swarm of bees or some shit.” you say honestly.

he blinks. “i wasn’t worried about that. but i am now.” he takes another sip of his banana milk in case it’s his last.

he sits up and picks up the tonkatsu sandwich, handing you the bigger half. “but seriously, how’d you find this place?”

you take the smaller half from his grasp instead, switching with him. taking a bite, you hum happily. suguru is such a good cook. he smiles at you fondly and you answer him, “i was searching up good places to look at the stars. out of all the pictures and reviews, this was the prettiest one.”

you look up at him and swear that you see an actual twinkle in his eyes.

“stargazing?” he pushes his bangs back behind his ear, leaning into your face. loudly repeating, “STARGAZING???” nose pressed against yours, an excitedly manic look in his eyes.

he throws his head back and waves his arms in the air, lamenting, “i should’ve bought a fucking telescope!”

he directs his gaze back towards you, pointing his finger at you accusingly while demanding, “we are coming here again in the future, okay? i’ll bring all of my astronomy gear: a telescope, binoculars, a constellation book, and oooooh! maybe i’ll also bring…” you unintentionally tune him out, looking at him adoringly with stars in your eyes.

this is what you wanted to see.

if you’re being honest with yourself, the best thing to experience in your life is getting to see suguru act genuinely excited. his eagerness to discover new things is infectious, and the man before you is the real suguru: dorky, eclectic, passionate.

the graceful, poised, & elegant man you see when he meets new people and the air of sultriness & suaveness he has when he takes you on fancy dates are utterly enchanting & beguiling, but you think that suguru you see before you now — the excitable nerd, is the most beautiful.

he flicks your forehead, breaking you out of your reverie. “have you been listening to a word i’ve been saying?” he scolds you while pinching your cheek extra hard.

“yeah, you want a telescope so you can look at the stars. also, you look really pretty… the stars ain’t got nothin’ on you.” you rest your chin in your hand, smirking at him, reveling in the blush that paints his cheeks. it was just the cold wind!, he’d tell you later while playfully smacking you upside the head.

you continue, “plus, it’s really hot when you’re all stern and tellin’ me off. what’s my incentive to listen to every word you say if i can get you scoldin’ me instead?” you tilt your head against your hand, grin wide, teeth bared. the masochist in you wants him to scold you even further.

he crosses his arms at you, muscles bulging out of his cream cableknit sweater. your eyes drink up the adonis right in front of you, mentally undressing him. “instead of hitting on me, how about i explain all of the constellations to you in extreme detail?” he purrs to you while biting his lip. he flips his hair over his shoulder, sultrily looking at you. you see right through him of course, knowing that he’s appeasing to your attraction to him just so he can ramble about ursa major, ursa minor, & the big dipper.

frankly. it works.

he holds his hand out to you. a truce.

you shrug. “if you do it like a hot stern professor, then sure.” you both shake on it.

he rolls his eyes playfully, trying to stop the smile that threatens to creep up on his face. “ugh. fine. be quiet and come over here.” he picks you up underneath your thighs and puts you in between his legs. your back pressed against his warm, sturdy chest. he kisses you on the head, appreciative of your indulgence of him.

you giggle cutely and move yourself down, laying your head in his lap while he softly plays with your hair. his lovesick gaze, fond smile, & warm thighs envelope your body, filling your senses with suguru. he leans down and presses a soft kiss against your forehead, an addicting contrast of his cold lip ring & warm soft lips electrifying your skin.

he pops a single chocolate-covered strawberry in your mouth, and you playfully nip his finger. he traces your lips softly and starts playfully lecturing you about the constellations that grace the night sky.

he excitedly points at a cluster of three bright stars, “and that is orion’s belt!”

you point at a bright star in the night sky a few lightyears away from it, grin unbelievably wide.

“i think you might be missing one, babe. and you call yourself the modern-day galileo. heh.” you playfully tease him.

suguru rolls his eyes, “okay first of all, i have never called myself that. second of all — excuse me?” his scoff is slightly haughty, & he can’t help the indignant laugh that escapes out of him. “alright, since you know so much — enlighten me then, what’s that one called?”

“hmm… i believe it’s sugurugeto-020390.”

suguru’s eyes widen ridiculously like flying saucers.

“what?”

you push yourself out of his grasp to pull out a certificate from your purse and hand it to him. you sit next to him cross-legged, gauging his reaction.

“trust me, i wish i could get a better name for it, but it turns out there’s a lot of suguru geto’s in the world.”

pausing for a moment, you want to make sure that your boyfriend knows that he’s the only suguru geto on your mind.

giving him bedroom eyes, you purr, “none like you of course.”

he blinks. “what?”

your face falls comically, and you pout, “that bright star in the sky is yours.” you point at it haphazardly. “you’re the light of my life, you illuminate my life, you’re the sole star and center of my universe, blah blah blah… so i figured… ya know…!” you gesticulate wildly, and in the moonlight suguru can see the slight blush on your cheeks. your eyes looking everywhere else but his own.

you’re shy.

he can feel the sinus pressure building up against his nose and the tears glaze over his eyes.

you scratch the back of your head, trying to save face. you quickly backtrack, “i know it’s a bit cheesy and honestly, technically, this was probably a scam, but i figured it was the thought that counts and–”

“shut up.”

you look up at him in a state of shock, “HAH???”

he grabs your cheeks, his silver rings cool against your face, and smashes his lips against your own, teeth slightly knocking against yours. in his excitement, he pushes you down and straddles you, pinning you down to the grass — his body a comforting weight on top of you. he kisses you breathlessly, moaning loudly in your mouth. you can both taste the fruitiness of the strawberry on each others tongues, your own being pressed softly against his piercing. you pull away softly, needing to take a breath.

and the sight above you is one you don’t think you’ll ever want to forget.

suguru’s seductive low-lidded gaze is locked on you, parts of his bangs wisped across his face from the momentum of pouncing on you. he’s breathing heavily, and you can feel his rapid heartbeat hammering against yours, his nipple piercings slightly poking into your chest. a rosy blush spreads itself on his cheeks like a strawberry jam, and you don’t think any view could compare to the one you’re blessed to see now.

his lips are red and glossy, aching to kiss you again. you nod softly, begging him to continue. he slots his lips back with your own, tracing your bottom lip with his tongue before he bites down sensually, groaning loudly when he hears you whimper. he curls an arm underneath your body while kissing you passionately, bringing you closer to him, enveloping you into his space. all you can think about in this moment is: suguru. suguru. suguru.

pulling away once more, and peering deep into his amber orbs, you think that his eyes carry the most beautiful stars. a milky way of ochre and obsidian.

never casting your fond gaze aside, you intertwine your hand with his, bringing it to your lips, kissing each knuckle fervently.

his alluring gaze follows your devoted actions. butterflies brush their wings together inside his stomach, the flutter erupting throughout his whole entire being. he thinks that in the moonlight, underneath the canopy of stars that…

you are the most brightest.

the most beautiful.

the most meaningful.

“honey! i’m hoooooooome!”

you feel unbelievably ecstatic that you can finally get to see your dear boyfriend after two weeks of being apart!

you already have the whole day planned out, perhaps you two can get takeout from your favorite local restaurant and watch anime together! you giggle happily to yourself while thinking about how you both can snuggle and have a cozy day in.

you take your shoes, coat, & purse off by yourself, wondering if suguru is out. usually by the time you’re at the door, suguru is already there welcoming you back with a massive kiss and a “missed you baby.” softly whispered in your ear, especially if you go on a long trip…

hmm, that’s a bit odd.

now that you’re looking around…

the apartment is in complete disarray.

it looks like a tornado blew through the whole place.

you shuffle in further… and dirty dishes are piled in the sink, overflowing dangerously. suguru’s clothes, random knick knacks, and pillows are strewn about as if he threw them all in a fit of rage. crumbs litter the carpet and you see what looks to be dirt tracks on the floorboards. the laundry is stacked high and the air is stuffy, it seems like no windows were opened in the time that you were away.

worriedly, you run into your shared bedroom.

suguru is there, thank god safe & sound, but what you see breaks your heart.

he’s laid face down, the left side of his cheek smooshed into the pillow, black tear tracks staining the fabric… he must’ve cried on a day when he went out? the bedroom is filled with dirty clothes on the floor, and you’re pained to smell the stench of cigarettes in the air. it’s light… maybe he only smoked one… but the fact that he felt the need to smoke at all, shattered your soul.

especially considering he quit ages ago when he started dating you.

you walk towards him lightly, not wanting to scare him off. his eyes are open and he looks at you… but he’s not really looking at you.

“you alright there, precious?” you softly whisper.

a perfunctory question. you know he’s not. he knows he’s not. but you know he’s in no state to answer any questions that you have.

“mhm.” he hums quietly. lethargic, not even having the willpower to answer with anything but a light rasp.

you brush back his bangs, and he shudders. his hair is greasy, oil-black hair clumping together in some places, matted in others. his lips are slightly chapped, a bit bloodied no doubt from his habit of biting his lip when he’s anxious. his fingernails are no stranger to the same action, stubbed and jagged down to the nailbed, his black nail polish chipped. bright amber eyes which often have a gentle look in them have turned into a dull ochre, obsidian pupils overtaking his irises.

they’re still gentle because he’s looking at you… but if you’re being honest with yourself, his eyes remind you a bit of a black hole right now.

vacant of light.

you press a soft kiss against his forehead and leave the room momentarily, thinking to yourself if anything can be done about this situation.

you decide to shoot satoru a quick text, seeing if he can help you out a bit with what you want to do.

you breathe out a sigh of relief, a small smile gracing your face. you can always count on satoru. the man may be silly and eclectic, but at the core of his being, he’s someone who will always take care of and look out for his friends. he’s the type of person to drop anything to help those that he loves and adores.

(sometimes you think that satoru really was an angel put onto earth.) (but then you think that he was probably cast out of heaven for being a little shit.) (regardless, you still fucking love him for it.)

you walk back into the room, and lay your head against your pillow that is next to suguru’s. (it smells like him… he must’ve hugged it while you were away.)

cradling his cheek, you quietly say, “satoru’s also back from his business trip babe, he’ll be coming in about 10 minutes. how about you get a bit of sunshine with him, hmm?” he blinks slowly, nodding softly.

you hold his hand to help him up out from the bed, but he shoos you away, admonishing you slightly, “i can do it myself.”

you nod and leave him to it, mentally preparing yourself for the behemoth cleaning task ahead when he leaves.

suguru pads slowly into the bathroom and puts his hair up in a high ponytail with a hairtie he stole from you, not wanting to deal with it. he washes his face and gets a wet rag to pat down his body and underarms, not having the energy to shower. putting on a random black sweatshirt, he douses himself in your favorite cologne of his. he puts on your strawberry lip balm while popping a piece of mint gum in his mouth. with a tired sigh, he exits the bathroom, dragging his feet to where you are at the door.

he kisses your temple gently. you plant a soft kiss his against knuckles. you think your eyes deceive you see a semblance of a twinkle in his eyes. “love you baby. i’ll bring you back somethin’.” he rasps out softly.

even in his darkest times, even when his mind is playing tricks on him, he’s still thinking of you. wanting to take care of you. desiring to show his affections towards you in any way that he can.

you simply want to return the favor.

satoru arrives, wearing a crisp white button up and black tinted glasses, his snowy white hair shining like starlight thanks to the sunbeams that hit him. he hugs suguru gently, placing a soft kiss against his temples. suguru, dressed in all black just nods his head lightly at him. he’s not really interested in going out but knows that you two will force him regardless, reminding him that getting sunshine and looking at different scenery is important.

as they get into the car and back out of the driveway, suguru waves lightly at you, eyes tired yet gentle. satoru winks at you, proud & thankful that suguru has someone that cares so deeply for his mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.

waving them both a goodbye, you go back inside and put on your cleaning playlist, ready to get started.

the first thing you do is open up the blinds and windows, wanting to air out the stuffiness that had built up over the past two weeks. considering the fact that suguru got a tinge paler and his undereyes looked sunken, you don’t think he got even a single beam of sunshine or any semblance of fresh air in the time that you were away.

padding over to the kitchen, you begin by doing the dishes. wearing your matching baby blue dishgloves, you get to work. it seems like suguru got anxious by seeing all the dishes piled up and started using some paper plates, which would explain the overflowing trash as well. the dishes are caked with food, but soften a bit by dousing them in water along with spritzing a powerwash grease-lifting spray. you sigh happily, glad that this will make it easier. after washing, drying, and putting away the dishes, you turn your attention to the kitchen surfaces.

you wipe down the counter and dining table in circular motions with a lemon-verbena spray, disposing of any old particles of food and random dust that lay upon the surfaces. already in your cleaning mode, you start to feel a little bit more energized.

opening up the refrigerator, you see that it’s been practically untouched. unfortunately, you gag when you smell rotting veggies and fruits, promptly rushing to your kitchen cabinet to get your trash bag to toss any old food away. you mentally remind yourself to get groceries in the morning, maybe if suguru is feeling a bit better after today you both can go together!

walking into the living room, you get your cleaning towel to beat the dust out of all the furniture. usually you & suguru both start with the bedrooms, but this time you figure you’d start with the living room as it’s in a bit of a better shape than the bedroom.

after you finish beating the living hell out of your cushions, you get to swiffering, mopping, and vacuuming — humming and singing loudly to suguru’s favorite songs on your shared cleaning playlist.

you go into the bedroom and start by gathering all of the clothes on the floor and the ones in the hamper to put inside the washing machine. you look around and do the same with the bedsheets and pillow cases, rubbing the eyeliner out of suguru’s pillowcase with some makeup remover first.

cleaning out all of the drawers, you make sure to throw away any random trash and only keep what’s necessary. clutter bothers both you and suguru, so you do your best to try and minimize that. you pick up empty bottles off the nightstand and throw them away. at least he drank a bit of water.

turning your attention to your bookcase, you wipe down the multitude of pictures of you & suguru that he put in frames.

there’s a few of both of you smiling after going on cute dates — suguru’s grin unbelievably wide while flipping off the camera and holding you close to his chest as you laugh loudly. there’s ones of you gazing at him adoringly, your love for him seeping out of the picture. there’s others of him looking at you — a soft fondness in his eyes, an even softer smile gracing his lips, his affectionate gaze tuning out anyone and anything else that isn’t you. both framed and pinned to the wall are multiple candids you two took of one another when the other wasn’t looking or paying attention, bursts of love immortalized in random moments of time.

you tell yourself that the sniffle you do is just because of the dust.

clearing your throat slightly, you look around proudly. you’re done!

you spray each room with a cotton spray, inhaling the fresh linen scent happily. you light up a teakwood candle that suguru bought a few weeks ago in the living room and put a sandalwood diffuser in the bathroom, freshening up the place. you take a well-deserved shower, feeling properly clean and accomplished.

by the time you’re done, it’s around 5:30 P.M in the evening and satoru texts you that they’re on their way and will be back home in approximately 30 minutes.

you get a can of sprite, his preferred soda, out from the fridge and put it on the counter. you decide to place an order for takeout from suguru’s favorite local spot, one that sells cold zaru soba noodles, his favorite food. you place another order at his favorite bakery for matcha crepes, his most loved dessert. the zaru soba will come within an hour and a half, but the dessert will come sooner so you also order a flower delivery too — a cute little surprise which will come within the same amount of time as the crepes.

you figure that you’ll also do the same for satoru, a little thank-you present for when he comes back to his own apartment. you order a bouquet of narcissus & holly for him, internally hoping that he likes it. you also order all of his favorite desserts from his favorite bakery! knowing that he will happily fill himself up on raspberry macarons, strawberry cake, vanilla mochi, chocolate donuts, & zunda cream kikufuku to his heart’s desire.

walking back into the bathroom, you get the most important part of your night started.

suguru finds his heart a bit lighter when he comes back to your shared home. he didn’t want to admit it to satoru… but he actually had a fun time eating, shopping, and listening to his hilarious stories about his shitty business trip. he’d be lying though if he said that he wasn’t most excited to see you after a long, eventful day.

in his hand are a bunch of shopping bags from stores that satoru dragged him to — clothes from your favorite stores, accessories & bags that you most wear, shoes that you need, books & knick knacks that you like — all for you. he bought a few for himself of course, but he mainly wanted to spoil you. he can’t help the small smile that creeps up on his face when he thinks about how excited you’ll be to see the gifts he got you.

thinking back on it, the guilt and shame he felt in his heart when you first saw him earlier today ate him up. he didn’t even know why he was feeling the way he was feeling so strongly. it was coincidence that it coincided with your trip, and he made sure that he would sound fun and happy over text as to not worry you. it wasn’t until a few days from when you were actually set to arrive that he didn’t even have the energy to talk or text you.

hell, he didn’t even have the energy to keep the apartment tidy or keep himself in check either. another pang of guilt hits him like a freight truck. he concludes that he’ll give you a spa day so he can clean everything up, not wanting you to worry about the mess he made.

he knows from the bottom of his heart that you’d never judge him or make him feel small for feeling the way he felt, he just feels so bad that he couldn’t even muster up the energy to greet you the way you deserved to be greeted. to kiss you. to hug you. to have a delicious dinner together and snuggle with you.

but no. after a long trip you had to come home and be worried for him. have the apartment be in disarray, have to see him be in disarray. fuck, you were worried enough to call up satoru.

he swears to himself that he’s gonna make it up to you. he swears that–

oh?

what?

suguru’s eyes widen, hands weakly dropping his shopping bags on the floor.

the entire apartment, top to bottom, is spotless.

dishes done and put away. dining table clean. living room tidy. is that… a bouquet of daffodils, his birth flower, on the counter? he also sees the bag from his favorite bakery right next to it too…

he walks around, astonished, at how you’ve made the apartment look brand new.

he reaches the bedroom and sees that the bed is made. his clothes have been clean, dried, and put up in hangers inside his closet. the nightstand, dresser, and bookcase all spotless and wiped free of dust.

a fresh smell envelopes his sinuses. he swallows the lump in his throat. did you smell the single cigarette he smoked? it seems like you aired out the whole apartment. in front of him is a beautiful sunset that waves at him from outside. a sunray beam kisses his cheeks. suguru blinks and feels something wet trailing down his face… it tastes salty on his lips. but feels so warm and sweet.

“suguru?” your angelic voice calls to him.

he turns around and sees you. fresh and clean, a beacon of warmth and illumination. a light blush dusting your cheeks no doubt from all of the hard work you’ve done.

“i ran you a bath. you up for it?” you tilt your head cutely at him, a silent plea in your eyes for him to agree.

feeling like his voice will betray him if he speaks, he nods softly. grabbing his hand, you take him to your shared bathroom, also totally spotless. your hands are soft and small in his, warm for once, because of you taking a hot shower and checking the temperature of the water for suguru’s bath. a sandalwood scent envelopes his nose, no doubt from the diffuser you put inside. he sees the romantic candles and rose petals around the bathtub and he can’t help the smile that overtakes his face.

“for me?” he rasps, a teasing tilt to his voice.

“always. everything and anything i do will always be for you.” you say it seriously. genuinely.

to you, it’s a vow. an oath.

his eyes widen slightly, but he closes them momentarily, not wanting any more tears to spill. he crinkles his eyes and smiles at you softly.

“you joining me?” he undresses, taking off his sweatshirt and t-shirt. showcasing his tan skin, toned abs, & muscles. his nipple piercings & belly button piercing are on full display and he giggles lightly as you ogle at his body, watching your eyes trace his numerous tattoos & piercings, absolutely mesmerized.

“maybe next time,” you smirk, a playful twinkle in your eyes. “figured i could do a little pamper session, is that alright with you?” you ask him caringly, wanting to make sure that he’s comfortable with it first & foremost.

he fears that if he speaks any louder than a whisper, the love that overcomes him will drown his airways. he rasps out a small, “yeah.”

always. anything and everything you do will always be right for me.

he gets into the bath and you try to not let your eyes trail down, instead focusing your gaze on his dragon tattoo that encompasses his entire back along with the mythological japanese creatures that trail up his arms and ribcage like tapestry. you see one of your favorites, a black and white beta fish upon his ribs, submerged underneath the water he’s in.

from this angle, you can also see your name that he tattooed behind his ear. smiling to yourself, you sit behind him, ready to begin the pamper session.

his sloshes the rose petals around with his fingers. the water is warm, is his first thought. i wish you were in here with me, is his second.

your fingers stroke his hair softly, lulling him into a false sense of security, and then you get to work, vigorously rubbing in his lavender shampoo. he can’t help the laugh that escapes him. for some reason anytime you two would take baths or take showers together, you would always wash his scalp aggressively. “this is how i wash my hair sugu! what’s a little run through gonna do? we gotta keep clean!” did clean mean damn near ripping out his hair follicles? possibly.

he’d never stop you or scold you however, he thinks it’s hilarious and an endearing trait of yours. when he washes your hair he makes sure to be as soft and careful as possible, almost lulling you to sleep. when you wash his hair however, it’s like you’re turbowashing a pickup truck. he figures this time he’ll give you a pass (he always does) considering that he doesn’t think he’s washed his hair in around a week and a half.

“gonna rinse now, okay?” he hums quietly, closing his eyes.

this almost feels like a purification process to him.

you lather shampoo in his hair once again wanting to do a double cleanse, this time a bit more softly. you massage his scalp, and he tips his head back. you start from the crown of his head, working in circular motions, using your fingertips. then you go to the roots of his hair, pressing and lathering, pressing and lathering, pressing and lathering.

you push his head forward slightly so you can clean the back of his head too, massaging the pressure points in his scalp. you were always a good masseuse, therefore a deep sigh escapes him, tension leaving his body by the second. (this might be the first time in two weeks where he’s been able to breathe comfortably.) you run your fingers throughout the clean strands of his hair, humming a little tune to yourself.

“they called me.” your hands still for second, but resume back to carefully twisting the water out his silky black hair. you stay quiet, knowing that when suguru speaks he prefers to get it all out there first.

“must’ve been like, what, two days after you left?” a humorless laugh escapes him. “they always know when to fuck up my mood. i swear.”

he sighs tiredly. “they went on a whole spiel about how i need to come back home and find a ‘real job’ as a hotshot lawyer or some fancy businessman, as if i don’t run my own tattoo parlor. as if i’m not also a real fucking businessman. like, do they think i don’t make any money? that i can’t comfortably take care of us both?” he rolls his eyes, getting annoyed again just thinking about how long the same repeated conversation had gone on.

suguru’s family is relatively well-off. he’s genuinely thankful that both him & satoru never had to worry about how to put food on the table or be worried about not being able to spoil the people that they loved.

it’s just that his parents were angry that their picture-perfect little boy wanted to spread his wings… see a world that had more to offer than quiet dinner table meals filled with tension and pointed jabs at one another guised as “caring advice.”

their image of suguru started to get distorted when he first showed up on their doorstep with his gauges. an act of rebellion. he could’ve worn small simple diamond studs but he wanted to make an impression: i’m my own person. even as a 13 year old boy, i can make this decision on my own. he remembers the way his father said he looked foolish. how his mother held her hand over her heart, in shock that her little baby boy had tainted himself in such a manner. what would others say?

suguru remembers looking in the mirror after the whole fiasco & thinking: god… they’d say i look so fucking cool.

then it started with sneaking out to go on late night drives with satoru, shoko, nanami, & haibara. they’d jam out to random songs on the radio, get slurpees & snacks, and sit in satoru’s car just talking about life and their future for hours. suguru still remembers the way his bangs wisped across his face, the crisp night air purifying his soul, the stars in the sky illuminating the landscape. the world seemed bigger those days and the gang were enjoying their teenage years. enjoying their youth.

he remembers coming home, his father waiting for him on the couch, pointing to the seat next to him, forcing suguru to sit down. his father’s arms crossed, black turtleneck making his muscles bulge slightly out of his sweater, his specs on the bridge of his nose making him look so serious. suguru found it easy to make eye contact with everyone in the world, but with his father he couldn’t help but look away sometimes… so he redirected his gaze to the tiny delicate beauty mark near his fathers right eye. a small little thing that made his father look a bit more… prettier. nicer. less daunting.

“where were you?” the timbre of his father’s voice rattled his bones. he muttered those three words quietly, but it still shattered suguru’s eardrums regardless.

“out. with my friends.”

he scoffs. “some friends they are.” a deep resounding ring of utter disappointment comes from his father’s words.

suguru sneers at the man, pissed that he would even think to disrespect suguru’s choice of friends like that. “yeah, they’re the best.” not an ounce of sarcasm lacing his words. his own mood dampened, nevertheless.

he recalls stomping all the way upstairs and slamming the door with all his might. sitting on his bed and resting his head against the window pane, eyes looking up at the same stars he saw when hanging out with his friends.

the stars seemed so far away from suguru’s room.

the world looked so big. suguru felt so small.

then one day, months later, suguru kissed a pretty boy. he can’t quite remember his name anymore, just that his lips were soft and his eyes were kind. suguru’s parents found out. his dad was surprisingly fine with it… he just assumed it was a phase, he went through the same thing as his son did when he was his age. his mother however… she just acted like it never happened the next morning. as if it wasn’t just a part of who he is.

his parents thought he was rebelling for the sake of rebellion. in actuality, it was suguru’s true self coming out. he was just getting more comfortable in his own skin. he was tired of being the picture perfect beauty who always was demanded of being polite, poised, & graceful. it was always too easy for him to put on a fake smile and manipulate others into doing what he wanted for the sake of his family’s reputation, it’s what he was taught. being at that house, it felt like he was kept on a tight leash, restricted from living his life. he felt caged like a bird…

but he just wanted to be free.

all he wanted was to just truly be himself in this world.

a kiss against his scalp breaks him out of his reverie.

right… he was here with you. he doesn’t have to spiral or worry anymore. you’re here. with him.

you’re here, you’re here, you’re here.

he shudders softly, taking your hand, holding it tight within his grasp. anger laces his next words, “they also said it’s time i get into a ‘real relationship’. whatever the fuck that means.”

you giggle. you know that his parents aren’t too fond of you. you’re not exactly of the same… class or status as them. at least that’s what suguru’s mother told him.

he huffs out a single dry laugh, “i’m glad you’re giggling about it because i nearly popped a fucking blood vessel screaming into my phone when they said that shit.”

“my protector.” you coo to him.

a light blush tinges his cheeks. always.

he presses a kiss against your palm. “i think it just made me… spiral a bit, y’know? reminded me of when i was kid and they made every little decision for me. i mean i’m a fucking adult now — i can decide what i do, who i wanna be, and who i want to be with.”

so when he got that phone-call from them on that day he was supposed to go to some rock concert… he did the one thing he promised himself he’d never do again. he lit a cigarette, and cried his eyes out into his pillow.

while sobbing, he remembered when he was in his early twenties and he’d sleep around with anyone and everyone, smoke blunts & cigarettes, go bar-hopping… do everything the picture-perfect pretty boy would never be allowed to do under his parents roof. his family just made him so miserable that he would do anything to not think of them.

he heard your voice in his head, reminding him, that instead of continuing on that self-destructive streak, he got his shit together. art & drawing was always his safe haven, so he found himself an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlor, getting a job as a piercer and ultimately working his way up to being a tattooist. he owns his own place now — all his hard work & effort paid off.

his mind travels back to you. his true love.

ever since the moment he met you, he was mesmerized by your beauty, your personality, and your loving words & actions.

suguru’s heart and sobs only calmed down when he thought of you. his beloved. his angel. his reason to be. he hugged your pillow a bit tighter that night, imagining it was you.

“i’m proud of you, you know.” you say it so genuinely that it tugs on his heartstrings, making his heart skip a beat.

“you’ve been through a lot of shit with your parents, but at the end of the day, you chose to follow what your heart desired — not whatever they wanted. you’re successful in what you do and you made the right decision. it doesn’t matter what the hell they say, because they don’t know the effort and time it took you to get where you are.” you say it so passionately, that suguru believes every word that comes out of your mouth. his heart racing, thankful that somebody fucking understands him.

“you’re kind. you’re caring. you’re so unbelievably loving. you’re always looking out for others and helping anyone that needs it… you’re a good fucking person, suguru. i hope you know that and realize that. it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, you are good. what you do is good. who you are is good. it’s an honor to be able to love you and be with you. i hope you know that.”

for the first time in a while, suguru turns around and really looks at you. the way you bare your soul to him so effortlessly, the way you smile so sweetly at him, the way you make him feel like he’s your one true love.

“i’m so thankful for you. i love you… and i want to be with you, too. always.” his voice breaks a little, overcome with emotion.

suguru hugs you tightly, neither of you caring about the wetness on your clothes. suguru puts his entire spectrum of feelings towards you into the hug — an apology, a thank you, and a proclamation of love.

voice a bit shaky, he laughs, “sorry for getting you all wet. i know how much you hate drenched clothes.”

“you apologizing for getting me wet? now that’s a first.” you purr playfully, glad to see him in better spirits.

a loud laugh bellows out from suguru, deep within his gut. he kisses your lips preciously, and sits back down in the water, urging you to continue.

the mood now is far lighter. the air thick with a sweet steam.

you rinse his hair and gently put his lavender conditioner through his hair. massaging it in, running your fingers through his silky smooth strands. you put his hair up in a clip for a few minutes to let the product soak in. he washes it out himself while you start the shower, making sure you put in his favorite honey-almond bodywash. he gives you a silly yet oddly sultry show when he lathers himself and he promptly comes out, steaming and refreshed. you help him do his skincare routine, softly rubbing each and every product into his skin. he towels off and sits down, hairbrush in his hand, looking at you.

“here, let’s do this first.” you blow dry his hair, taking your time and allowing suguru to lull his head back onto your front, the soft black tresses of your beloved’s hair feeling much more revitalized in your fingers. you then brush his hair, gently, carefully. the entire time, you notice that suguru’s eyes are closed and he’s smiling to himself. you kiss him on the top of his head, and he turns to kiss you back. eyes closed, his lips puckered…

but just then, the doorbell rings.

“OOH! perfect timing!” you scurry off. you leave a pouting suguru who huffs out a little “hmph.” annoyed that whoever was at the door took a very well-deserved kiss away from him.

he patters softly to the kitchen where you’re setting out cold zaru soba noodles for him along with a can of sprite and matcha crepes. all of his favorites.

you hold a bouquet of flowers. daffodils.

“for you.” you curtsy, a mirthful twinkle in your eyes. he graciously accepts them from you, a shy smile and light flush across his cheeks.

“thank you.”

kissing his knuckles you whisper, “anything for you.”

for once in his whole entire life, suguru doesn’t think he can bear to look you in the eye. your adoration is so unbelievably intense, it feels like it’ll burn a hole inside his heart. does he deserve so much goodness in his life?

“you deserve more than what i can give you. i’ll spend my whole life making sure you realize that, suguru.” you say to him honestly. “if you’ll allow me of course.”

he kisses you on the lips softly, hoping that you can feel how thankful and lucky he is that he has you. “likewise.”

he clears his throat. “okay, c’mon. i’m starving. i wanna watch that stupid anime and shit talk that hot guy you like on screen while we snuggle.”

“he’s the best character, suguru!” you huff indignantly. clearly he can’t be talking about thee toji fushiguro???

“babe. he SUCKS.”

he knows you so well, he muses to himself.

he knows how your breath hitches after he nuzzles his lips against the curve of your neck, that the skin is sensitive there, but not as sensitive as your right ear. he knows that because of the way your knees buckle as he whispers soft romances to you, intense shivers overtaking your body. he makes sure that his arm is always wrapped tender yet firmly around your waist when that happens, trapping you against his unyielding body.

he knows what makes you tick. on the rare occasion that you allow your emotions to overcome you, he knows how to comfort you. he leaves you alone for a few moments so you’re able to gather your thoughts & assess your bearings, and then he invites you into his warm embrace. he lets you lay your head in his lap as he strokes your hair gingerly, easing your soul with both honest and kind words. adorning your face with soft kisses and even softer caresses. a cocoon of protection.

it seems like these days, however, he hasn’t had a proper grasp on you. you can’t hide a single thing from him, he knows that you would never willingly do so either.

it’s not like you want to anyways — not that you intend to, at least.

but it’s an aching feeling in his chest, nonetheless.

earlier in the week, you’d softly shut your bedroom door whenever you saw him, pretending as if you couldn’t see each other… as if he wasn’t there. it’s moments where he found you haphazardly digging for shit in your drawers, tucking whatever it was into your pockets and padding away softly to your room. you’d stay in there for hours, only coming out when he knocked on your door to tell you dinner was ready. he heard lots of rustling and you pretended as if you were just chilling in there, as if nothing was going on. sometimes when he knocked on your door to see what you were up to, all he heard back was an “i’m busy, baby! i’ll be out soon!” then it became even more odd, you’d quickly shut off your phone whenever he came into the room and would plaster a bright smile at him as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

he sighs to himself. he trusts you. he loves you. he knows you’re not doing anything heinous.

but… why won’t you tell him what’s bothering you? don’t you trust him to fix whatever is wrong? it eats away at his mind & soul that you think you have to hide whatever it is that’s taking you from him. don’t you know that he’d drop anything for you? that’s what being in love is for, right?

his eyes peer at you from the couch, studying you. he calls out to you softly, “angel. can we talk, please?”

a statement posed as a question. he knows this. you know this. you answer regardless.

“sure.”

you walk towards him, intentionally adding a lackadaisical swagger to your steps. to fool him. you know it won’t, he knows it won’t. but suguru isn’t anything if a man who doesn’t indulge his beloved.

he pats the seat next to him on the couch. inviting. as if he’s giving you a choice, even though you know you have none at the moment. “sit next to me, my love.” his smile is taut like a string, amber eyes shut closed so you don’t bear witness to the tears that threaten to spill.

he knows you’re hiding something.

he doesn’t like not being in the know.

is it something he did?

is it something you did but are too afraid to tell him?

since when were you afraid of him?

were you always–?

in the few seconds it takes you to sit down, a myriad of questions race through suguru’s head, creating a spiral of untamable negative thoughts. you would talk to him if something was wrong, right? you both have a healthy communication and always talk things over with each other… so what’s different now? do you not trust him?

suguru chastises himself, thoroughly.

of course you wouldn’t want to speak to someone like him.

always the overthinker. always the nagging negative nancy. always the manic-depressive.

sometimes suguru fears that he acts more like a father to you rather than a boyfriend.

that he’s a bit suffocating. too intense. very overbearing.

a warm hand engulfs both of your small, cold ones. he hopes that it comes off as sweet, as caring. because he himself is sweet and caring.

at least he hopes he comes off like that.

“is everything alright, sweetheart?” a soft whisper. he speaks placatingly to you like you’re a newborn fawn and any loud noises or large movements will make you jolt and run away. “i feel like… you’ve been avoiding me recently. and…” he takes a deep breath. “listen, i don’t know if it’s something i did, but you need to tell me, okay? you have to tell me so i can make it better.”

he thinks he sounds nurturing. kind. paternal.

he also thinks he sounds so fucking condescending.

he closes his eyes and a picture of a man darts across his eyelids like an overdeveloped photo.

strict, heavy-handed, cutthroat.

paternal and protective to a fault. a man who was always “right” even when he was wrong.

an “apathetic” man who bore a child who thought too much – felt too much.

a flash of a sophisticatedly handsome man with obsidian shoulder length hair, serious low-lidded eyes, and a firm closed mouth sears itself across suguru’s brain like a charred photograph.

he flings away the afterimage as quickly as it came. pretending as if he never even thought of it.

he gulps, swallowing the fireball in his throat. god, he really doesn’t want to be like… him. having a majority of his features is enough, he does not want to inherit that man’s personality.

suguru absentmindedly rubs the slit in his eyebrow, his grip unintentionally tightening on your hands. he releases moments after, not wanting to cause you any pain.

“everything is fine with me sugu, i promise you.” you reassure him. “it wasn’t my intention to avoid you or make you feel like you did anything wrong… i am so sorry if it came off like that.” you answer him honestly. your head is tilted to the side like a little puppy, brows furrowed, upset that you made him feel like you were trying to get away from him.

“no, no no no no no, baby it’s not your fault.” he quickly grabs your cheeks, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. he brings you against his chest, hugging you tightly. “don’t apologize honey, i’m sorry… i just got into my head a bit.” he quickly placates you and kisses the top of your head. you shouldn’t be the one to suffer because he started to anxiously overthink and spiral.

he looks at the time on his watch. it’s a few minutes past midnight. you both should go to sleep… maybe you can talk it over in bed or in the morning with clear heads.

you exhale softly, shaking your head faintly. you press a delicate kiss against the corner of his lips. telling him, “give me a sec.”, you walk over and into your room.

he nods and watches you saunter away, putting his head into his hands. god… him and his big mouth… he sighs, anxiety crawling up his throat once more. he really didn’t want to upset you or anything, he angrily tells himself to apologize to you when you get back.

hearing you shuffle closer to him, he lifts his head.

in your hands is a… huge book?

“i wanted to give you this tomorrow… well technically today, but i guess it doesn’t really matter.”

he tilts his head, confused. you present him with the thing you’ve been working so hard on.

you smile at him so softly, he thinks that his heart is about to burst. “happy birthday, suguru.”

birthday…? oh god, it is his birthday.

he gently takes the present from you… it’s a scrapbook.

“don’t look at it in front of me! okay, bye!” you quickly sprint into your room, not wanting to be in the room when suguru looks at such a personalized present.

blinking, he grabs his reading glasses from the coffee table, and opens the book, flipping through each page carefully.

photobooth pictures, polaroids, kodak film pictures, movie ticketes from your dates, admission tickets from amusement parks he’s taken you to, and multiple candids of both him and you - many of which he hasn’t seen.

one of them looks awfully familiar… did you take this the day you took him stargazing in the meadow? his fingers brush against his trembling lips, trying to stop himself from sobbing.

is this what you were doing?

he feels so stupid.

but god… does he feel so fucking loved.

you’ve immortalized every single moment of your relationship with him. nothing being too small for you to be excited about, carefully keeping everything.

he sees the little pressed flower of a daffodil enclosed in wax paper on one of the pages, probably from the first time you gave him a bouquet. the first time anyone has presented him with flowers without wanting anything in return. when asked about the occasion, you simply shrugged and said “just felt like it” & then quickly kissed his knuckles, zooming out of his apartment to run errands. he remembers how bashful he felt. how thankful he was. how loved that experience made him feel.

he moves his glasses upwards, wiping the tears across his lashline and the ones that stream down his face. he clears his throat slightly, and continues flipping the pages. you’ve drawn little doodles (things that he’s already planning to get tattooed on him simply because they came from you) and you’ve written beautiful, personal messages. encapsulating your adoration for suguru in the margins — genuine words filled with your love, devotion, and admiration for him.

he sniffs loudly and tries to wipe his face the best he can. he tenderly calls out your name, beckoning you over to him, and you get up out of your shared bedroom to pad softly into his open arms.

“my love.” he stands up and walks over to you midway. he hugs you so tightly while pressing your head against his beating heart, his arms protectively enveloping you. the space between you two is nonexistent, and suguru surmises that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

conveying his thankfulness and love to you, he sweetly says, “my sweet, sweet girl.” a soft kiss pressed against your hair, “my heart beats for you, forever and always.” from anyone else it’d sound cheesy, but from suguru… you know he means it from the depths of his soul.

“my little dove.” he coos so fondly, sweet candied sugar dripping from every syllable. he holds your face in his gentle hands, openly divulging his admiration for you, “you’re so precious to me, you know that? i love you. i love you. i love you.” a tender kiss pressed against your soft lips between each proclivity of adoration.

you smile graciously, thankful and relieved that he adores your present and that he especially adores you. you knew out of any of your presents that you were going to give him today, that this would be the most meaningful. suguru has always been the ultimate sentimentalist, and you wanted him to know that you care for him so deeply. that you love him. adore him. that your heart beats only for him. pushing back a black tendril of your true love’s hair behind his ear, you kiss him gently. both of your lips fitting together perfectly — like a lock & key.

you bring his knuckles upon your lips, preciously kissing his promise ring, ensuring to him that your love and devotion runs deep, deeper than anything in this world.

“i love you too. happy birthday, my love.” his hands are so gentle. his face is so sweet. suguru… your one true love.

if you asked suguru to describe you in three words, he’d say you were: devoted. loyal. loving.

he has four more of his own on the tip of his tongue that he’ll say to you when he musters up the courage.

with a soft kiss upon the ring on your knuckles, and an even softer smile upon his lips, he lovingly breathes out, “私はあなたを永遠に愛します”

[simplyclary]

My (Personal) Thoughts on Seasons of Shadowhunters

Note: These are my personal thoughts about Cassie's latest project. Feel free to comment and reply down below and share your thoughts as well.

Recently, one of my favorite authors Cassandra Clare announced a Kickstarter project and it's all about Shadowhunters. I was excited when she hinted at it on her IG stories and was even more excited (with a few mixed feelings) when I finally got the email about the project itself.

My thoughts on this entire project will be broken down into segments/parts (so it won't be long paragraphs without breakers) so if you wanna hear my thoughts, do continue.

Part 1: Secrets of Blackthorn Hall

To be honest with you all, I'm not excited about this one. Well, it could be because it's available online (and here on Tumblr) so maybe that contributed to my non-existent excitement for it. I will also admit that I did not read every single entry of SoBH, I only read like the ones I cared about (Tessa's letter to Sophie is one of them) and the others, I may or may not have skimmed.

Art-wise, the art is beautiful, no doubt. But still, I'm quite skeptical about this one so maybe when it eventually comes, I might change my mind.

Part 2: Careful of Books Novellas

I am honestly not the biggest fan of novellas. I mean, I do read them to further understand the characters of a certain story (I did read A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas even though it was just the characters having a domestic Winter Solstice).

With this one, I am partly excited, partly not. I have no idea why but the closer it comes, I may be persuaded to be excited about it. It will feature a character whose future is interesting (I can only guess who that is...) and of course, it is set in the Shadowhunter universe (which timeline, I have no idea.)

I got to admit, novellas are fun but like it's not as fun as full-length novels with higher stakes and whatnot so I guess that is also part of it but I'll just have to see where we go from here.

Part 3: Notable Shadowhunters

Now, this is more of a collectible than a book because this will most probably contain more photos than words, which I'm not complaining about. It's always good to have fanart of your favorite Shadowhunters characters. I used to want to own the illustrated book but over time, that feeling kind of went away. I am a practical gal most of the time and I just thought that these photos would be scattered online anyway so if I favored a specific character's card, I would just get it online and print it myself if I desire to.

I'm not sure whether I will purchase it when it comes but who knows, maybe with some convincing, I might be persuaded.

Part 4: Better In Black Short Stories

This is probably what I'm most excited for. I adore the first three short story collections (Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy, Ghosts from the Shadow Market and The Bane Chronicles) and this is probably not gonna be any different. I'm a romance lover by nature and to know that this might feature some of my favorite Shadowhunters couples makes me a little bit more excited. I mean, to be fair, I prefer some couples more than others but getting stories about the prominent couples are not out of the question for me.

I'm looking forward (and slightly hoping) to maybe seeing my favorite couples Simon and Izzy, Thomas and Alastair, Clary and Jace, and Magnus and Alec take the spotlight but I'm not opposed to the idea that other couples (Jem and Tessa, Julian and Emma, etc..) will also be featured since romance is a big aspect in the fantastical tales of the Shadowhunters. Plus, it's never seen before content, so that kind of adds to the hype.

I just need the Clace and Sizzy wedding plus Thomas and Alastair living together, if you get what I mean, okay?

Part 5: The Compass Rose Journal

I may or may not have screamed when I saw this in the email because as a fan of Thomas Lightwood, his compass rose is a sentimental symbol to me and to own a journal with that very symbol, oh, I can dream but I guess it's coming.

And for art to be included, uhm, yes please! Although I honestly thought it would just be like a notebook with like the compass rose etching on the cover but I guess I was wrong.

Conclusion

These are all my thoughts. I may have not worded it all well because I did mention in a previous post that I kind of drifted away from the Shadowhunters fandom for a while now but maybe with this upcoming content, my heart might go back to the shadows or stay in the sunshine where it currently resides. ;)

With that, I say, Hail and Farewell, Angels!

[rogesims]

Vacation

Two weeks after Flower Day, just a week before graduation, Willow got her scholarship letters. She was accepted in two! She's now considering leaving the Harris' garage and using the money to help her pay a small apartment for herself. 

Leo and Marcos were about to have their final exams, so they could barely see each other except in between classes.

"My family will make a trip together this weekend. Wanna come?", asked Leo.

 "Can't. My mom has some family stuff to sort out in another town and wants me along."

"I had an idea, but I need to wait for the pack release first. Did you know Summer 14th is Pride Day?"

Marcos was curious.

"Course I do! What's on your mind?"

"I heard San Sequoia has a great Pride Festival. My dad told me I can work with him and save money for the loading screens!"

"YES! I'm sure Dani will also love the idea. And Sid! And Ash! And Van! Let's invite everyone!"

Leo could barely listen to a word Mr. Morlind was saying... Soon classes would be over and he'd have a WHOLE week on vacation! He knew about someone else who would probably also love to hear about their Pride excursion.

Mols said she'd love it. Her mom wanted to go skiing but she'd rather die by Vlad.

"She made me organize Career Day for extra credit and I need some fresh air. Just so you know, I signed you up."

"Well", replied Leo, "if that means you're coming, I can find some fun in that!"

When they got home, both Moe and Leo had great news! Leo has been promoted to Speedrunner and Moe got to her branch selection. She got a unique opportunity and ended up on her path to stardom again! It seems like it doesn't matter the universe, Moe is destined to fame. 

The Harrises landed in Lani St. Taz! They're staying the weekend at the Saphire Shores Resort.

"Won't this be too expensive, mom?"

"Baby, don't be silly...This isn't a real hotel, they don't exist in the game! We won't pay a thing, this is just a spa."

A well-deserved vacation... Being a legacy family ain't easy! Since they didn't pay for the stay, the family enjoyed the premises before having dinner. 

It's dinner time, and the Harrises went to the best (the only) restaurant in Sulani!

"Thank you so much for this trip, guys! It's a great close to my High School Years!", said Willow.

"We're also celebrating Moe's promotion. She's famous now!" "

And Leo is ending his junior year!", Moe replied. "It's time you start thinking about your future, baby."

"To be honest, I don't know, mom. I've been working at the drama club, but Copperdale is too far away from Honeywood."

"We're not gonna live there forever, you know? Legacies are known for moving all around the SimNation."

"You should trust your gut, Leo. I'm sure the Watcher will find a way of helping your dreams come true." Leo didn't have all this blind faith.

"How can the Watcher know what to do, when I can't?"

"They made us cross universes to save the legacy. You'll be good!"

"I hope you're right, mom. I have just a few weeks left before my gen takes over."

"Watcher surely have something in store for you. Just keep on going through Live Mode and soon I know things will become clearer!"

After dinner, Leo vanished. Moe found him at a fishing spot nearby. "Can I sit here?" 

"What if I'm not a good heir as you both? You had a Starlight Boulevard star, for woohoock sake! I don't think I can top that."

"Leo... You don't have to be like us. You're good just the way you are and doing the things you want to do. Legacy gens are different."

"I acted, and I now work with social causes because that's what makes me happy; same with your dad and cooking", Moe reassured him.

"And what about the drama, and the interesting plots?"

"Oooh, 'The Drama'! Not every legacy will be as messy as a Swan or a Lacey. And that's ok."

Moe gave her big baby a loving hug.

"Whatever your story is, you'll be loved and there will always be someone who enjoys your path. I promise."

Next morning, after an... um... eventful night, Moe had news for the family. 

Breakfast by the sea, the perfect moment to break the news!

"Family, we're having a spare Harris! The first legacy infant is due to fall!"

"Another one, thank you!"

[officialrovix]

190304 N's Youtube Community Post Update | © achahakyeon (1, 2, 3)

[writing-fanics]

• ( Howl Pendragon x Fem!Reader ) •

(Waiting for a Love).... that never came (Part II)

Howl couldn’t believe his eyes, it was her standing there outside her shop selling healing remedies. Christopher her son who looked just like him, sitting on the lap of a man.

The man who comforted her and after a few months eventually, become her lover. He treated her so kindly, promised to never leave her and Christopher.

She’d move on..

Howl had met Sophie a year ago, and that was when he was his usual self still having the blonde hair. (Y/n) was his everything his lover he created a child with and left her without a word.

Abandoning her while she carried his child, and he never returned he didn’t come back to even break things off. He just up and left and she was alone, crying every night pleading for his return.

He never did and now she’d move on.

Her gaze shifted towards him and gave him a look of disgust, she’d waited a year for him to have only found another. He promised he’d marry her once their child was born, promised to be their first his son.

She glared at him her cold gaze like a dagger to the heart, and Christopher babbled as her new lover bounced him on his lap.

“Da-...” Christopher said, shoving his hand into the man’s mouth.

“Dada!”

He chuckled as the man, pulled his hand out of his mouth. He called him dada. Howl bit his lip and walked towards her nervously.

The man knew about Howl and already didn’t like him, since he was the man who left his lover while she bore his child.

“H-Hello, Y/n,” Howl said, he wanted to say starlight or call her his little bird but she knew she didn’t wanna hear it.

“Hm, Howl.” She said, coldly glaring at him.

“I’m sorry for leaving you the realization, of being a father was just so much I could-.”

She rolled her eyes she knew he was going to say something like this, okay fine getting scared of being a father that’s alright.

“You could’ve at least told me something, and I know you Howl that really isn’t the reason I can see it in your eyes it’s something else.”

He sighed, looking at his ex-lover who had her arms folded across his chest.

“I was scared, I wanted to protect you from the Witch. She would’ve hunted you down and I didn’t want that for you. To have our child be in danger.”

Her gaze softened and she looked at him, letting out a sigh she shook her head.

“But still no letter no nothing! Leaving me here while I’m carrying your child scared and alone! Wondering when your gonna come home.” She shouted, her lover taking Christopher inside the house.

“I needed you, and then when I finally see you again you have a new lover!”

“M-My wife,” He mumbled, and her eyes widened when she looked at him not just lover but wife.

“Wife..” She felt dizzy, hearing this the world was spinning she still had some feeling for Howl still trying to get over it.

“Howl...I don’t know if I could ever forgive you for what you did. Leaving me and your child without a letter, and promising to share your life with me. To only find another to marry.”

“I-I can’t, I understand you wanted to keep me safe. Our child our beautiful baby boy. But...A letter would’ve been nice.”

“Y/n I’m-..” He said, and she raised her hand to stop him from speaking.

“No... Please, go back to Sophie.” She said, to him shaking her head.

“You can visit Christopher, and I’ll even let you take him from time to time if you want. But even though your married now we’ve still have yet to break off our relationship officially.”

“And I’m going to be the one to do it, we’re done Howl”.

She turned around and was about to walk back inside her house, “I’ll let you have Christopher Saturday through Monday. We can adjust if needed, he needs his father.” She said, walking back inside.

Howl watched through the window as the man, kissed her on the forehead. And he looked down at the ground, realizing that leaving her was the biggest mistake of his life.

[thedeathofduty]

Welcome to thedeathofduty 💚

Hello! My name is [redacted-I don't know how else to start this], I'm 27 years old, and bisexual. I am an Alicent and Aemond girlie first and a human second.

If you need me to trigger tag anything, just let me know. However, I reserve the right to say no.

Tag list:

#mine- original posts

#aemond fic- take a guess

#faves- my favorite fanfics, art, etc.

My fics:

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

💚 Talisman | UnspecifiedHouse!F!Reader | Part One Part Two Part Three

You knew he loved you even if he never said those exact words aloud. It shined out of every inch of him like starlight. You had never needed to hear it until now.

💚 Little Doe | Baratheon!F!Reader | 18+

Would the Lannister boy make you feel as good? Would he take the same pleasure in granting your every wish and desire as Aemond did? You shook your head to try to regain your focus as your dress slowly slid off your body.

💚 Motion Sickness | Lannister!F!Reader | mentions of child abuse

Despite the distance that had separated you all this time, he had remained in a class of his own in your mind. You wanted to cling to the idea that somehow, in some way, he had felt the same.

Aemond Targaryen x OC

💚 The Center of Every Poem | Lannister!F!OC | multi-chapter

"I have loved you. I have had to deal with that." -Salma Deera, 'Letters from Medea'

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Eight-Part 1)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 11.5k (part 1)

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mentions of sex, oc struggles with her future, mentions of vibrator, mentions of cum eating, dirty talk, vaginal fingering, oral (female receiving), masturbation, swallowing

Notes: I am having to post this chapter in two parts, I am so sorry about that! But here it is!! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:) I LOVE talking with ya’ll!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @aclowe13 @bishuthot @271101 @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell @fairysunooo @taebae19

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous ---- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

September

“What about this one?” You hold up another birthday banner, showing Vanessa yet another option.

“Ugly.” She says.

This is the fourth fucking birthday banner you’ve shown her and she doesn’t approve of any of them. But you have to admit this one is a little ugly.

“Vanessa…” you groan out, getting very obviously frustrated.

“I like this one.” She points to a banner. The very first one you showed her.

“Seriously?” you grab the banner and place it in your cart. “Okay, we still have to pick up the cake at 3. And we need to make sure we have enough plates for everyone…oh! We also still have to pick up the bottles at the liquor store.”

“I can get the cake.” She replies smoothly.

“We can just go together?”

Today is Jungkook’s birthday and you and Vanessa have been (Kind of) texting throughout the last week trying to find a good day to meet up. The day happened to be today of all days, so you’re feeling quite rushed.

“Fine.” Vanessa picks at her cuticles, just standing here looking gorgeous.

You on the other hand…were not expecting this to be a fashion show! You’re in shorts and a t shirt while she wears a flowy green dress and sandals.

“I want to be the one to present his cake to him though,” Vanessa begins, her eyes never leaving her fingers, “I am his girlfriend after all.”

You hate that your chest tightens at her words, you hate how her words affect you like this, how she affects you like this. Just being in her presence alone makes your heart twist.

“Got it.” You place some birthday plates in the cart, “So…what did you get him for his birthday?” you try to make conversation.

“A cologne.”

“You know he’s sensitive to smells—”

“He likes this one.”

“Oh.”

“I know him better than you think y/n.” her smooth voice cuts you like a butcher knife.

You nod your head, not knowing what to say. Maybe she does. But like, you still know him better right? You got to, right?

“What about you?” Vanessa lifts her eyes to meet yours, her eyes are small and dark and inviting.

“Uh, to be honest…I’m meeting with Jimin after this so we can go shopping for his gifts. So, I don’t know yet but I have an idea.”

“And what’s your idea?” her eyes go back down to her nails that she keeps picking at.

“Friendship bracelets.” You state.

“Hm.” Vanessa pushes the cart forward and walks towards the isle with candles. “We still need nice candles for the cake.”

“Right.”

~~~~~~~

“It couldn’t have been that bad, babe.” Jimin holds up a plain black hoodie and nods approvingly. “Another one for his collection, what do you think?”

“Looks like something I’d steal, so yes.” You give him a quick thumbs up, “And it was bad dude. She’s so hard to talk to!”

“Yeah, I could see that.” Jimin stands in front of a full body length mirror and checks himself out, pushing his hair out of his face. “Forehead or no forehead, tonight?”

“Hmm, no forehead.”

“Forehead it is.”

“Wow, you never listen to me!”

Jimin chuckles wholeheartedly, shrugging his shoulders like he agrees with you.

“So, where are these bracelets you keep going on about?”

“That one weird shop buy the smoothie place has these cute bracelets with letters for names on them! I was thinking I could get him a black one with my initial on it and I would get myself one with his initial.”

“You guys are so…that’s cute I guess.” Jimin giggles, he holds up his wrist as if imagining himself with the bracelet. “I want one too!” he whines.

“Maybe for your birthday.” You wink. “Anyway, do you think Vanessa knows Jungkook better than me?”

Jimin stops walking to get a look at you, an expressions that reads: Are you serious? Plastered on his face.

“It’s a valid question.” You say.

“No one knows Jungkook like you honey.”

“Okay…Also, you’ll be meeting my friend Yoongi tonight!”

“The not date, date guy?” Jimin pouts, “I thought you weren’t going to lead him on…”

You scrunch up your face in confusion,

“I can have friends Jimin, I’m not leading him on!” you try to defend.

“If you say so. Just like, try to focus on one boy at a time, you know?” Jimin teases.

You two walk to the shop that sells the bracelets and go inside. You find the bracelets you’re looking for rather quickly, feeling nice and lucky. You grab them and go to pay, when you finish up at the register you notice a Jack Skellington key chain and add it on to Jungkook’s gifts. You always have trouble finding good gifts for people, okay? You take what you can get.

“Shit, it’s already 6. I still need to go home and get ready!”

~~~~~

Nick lets you and Vanessa use their place as the spot to celebrate, it’s bigger than your place and Vanessa agrees saying it’s bigger than hers as well. Nick and his bro that believes in aliens (You really got to learn his name but at this point you are too afraid to ask) are the only ones here as you and Vanessa set up.

“Bro AI is out to get us man—” Aaanndd you are tuning him out, you watch as Nick listens closely, nodding his head every few minutes and whispering ‘Bro’. You and Vanessa hang up decorations in silence, the sound of Nick and his bro chatting away filling the room.

“People should start arriving soon…” you try to make small talk with Vanessa, she only hums in response not even sparing you a glance.

“You look nice.” You try giving her a compliment, she turns her head to the side to look at you and a sly smile grows on her face.

“Do you have feelings for Jungkook?”

You immediately choke on your fucking spit, what the actual fuck? You try to compose yourself when you hear the front door opening. Thank God.

“It is I!” You know that voice. “Where is my Jungkookie?” You hear Jin entering the living room along with Namjoon and Hobi.

“Jimin should be bringing him in the next 30 or so minutes!” you yell out. Once Jin and the other two boys spot you they light up.

“y/n!!!” Jin hurries to your side and bring you in for a quick hug. “How are you?!”

“Good, good.” You laugh, hugging him back.

“Good to see you y/n” Namjoon says with a soft smile and then you hear your named being shouted even though Hobi is a foot away from you.

“Long time no see!!!” He hugs you, shaking you around in his embrace. You can’t help but chuckle at your friend.

“Hi guys, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Would we miss our Jungkookie’s birthday? No way.” Jin says.

“Oh,” you turn around to see Vanessa just standing behind you, not saying anything just staring. “This is Vanessa. Jungkook’s—”

“We know!” Hobi says, “Jungkook has brought her to Jin’s. Nice to see you again Vanessa!”

Vanessa tilts her head and nods, her lips not even attempting to curve into a smile.

“You too.” She finally says.

This girl either has no manners or just does not know how to properly socialize? Maybe she gets anxiety being around too many people?

You feel your phone buzz.

Yoongs 7:14pm

Im outside

“Be right back guys, a friend of mine just got here.” You try talking over your group of friends. You head towards the front door, swinging it open to a Min Yoongi waiting patiently.

He smiles at you when he sees you, he holds up a bottle of wine and shakes it around a bit.

“For the party.” He says.

“Perfect, let’s pour us a glass right now!” you gesture him to enter the apartment.

You two walk into the kitchen, and you start searching for a wine bottle opener but can’t seem to find it.

“Hey Nick!” You yell out, hoping to get his attention, “Where’s the wine opener?”

Nick shuffles into the kitchen and gives you an expression that screams he has no idea.

“I know where it’s at.” Vanessa’s silky voice fills your ears as she enters the kitchen.

“Oh.” Of course she does. Why wouldn’t Vanessa know? She probably comes here more than you do…

“Thanks.” You finally say when she hands you the wine opener.

“Well, let’s open this baby up!” you turn to face Yoongi and he smiles at you.

“Hi Vanessa.” Yoongi waves at the girl and she hums in response, walking out of the kitchen.

“Sorry, she’s…” but you don’t know what to say. Also, why are you trying to excuse her?

You pour you and Yoongi a glass and gulp it down quickly, you finish your first glass in just seconds.

“I need another one.”

“What’s got you so stressed in a time of celebration?” Yoongi casually sips on his wine, one baby sip after the other.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“y/n…” his soft tone makes you feel comforted already and he hasn’t even said anything yet.

“I don’t know how to say it without sounding psychotic.” You admit, pouring yourself your second glass of wine.

“Try me.”

“I feel like I am competing…with…”

“With Vanessa?” He gladly finishes for you.

“Yeah, like…I don’t know, I feel like she’s trying to take my place. But my place isn’t ‘girlfriend’ so I don’t know what I’m freaking out about.”

Yoongi sets his glass down and studies you for a moment, you begin to feel antsy under his gaze.

“I’m obviously on your side,” Yoongi begins in a hushed voice, “But maybe she’s worried too?”

“I wish I knew if she felt worried, or felt like, anything. This girl is hard to crack!” you quietly say.

“Just try to enjoy the night, okay?” Yoongi smiles and you don’t even feel like smiling back but you do. Suddenly, you feel your phone going off.

Jungkook 7:32pm

Why is Jimin making me dress up? I thought it was just a couple of us? Why do I need to look nice, I’m tired from work

Jungkook 7:33pm

Seriously y/n…it’s just a couple of us, right?

y/n 7:35pm

omg yes Jungkook it’s nothing big I swear, he just wants you to look nice for pictures

Jungkook 7:36pm

I always look nice for pics lol

y/n 7:38pm

No comment

Jungkook 7:40pm

Don’t be fukin rude

` y/n 7:40pm

Can you guys hurry up?

Jungkook 7:44pm

Jimin is in the mirror deciding if he’s showing his forehead or not

y/n 7:45pm

classic Jimin

Jungkook 7:45pm

Classic Jimin

You stuff your phone in your back pocket and grab your glass of wine and begin sipping on it again. Yoongi eyes you up and smirks.

“That the birthday boy?”

“Hm? Oh, sorry…yes. He and Jimin should be here soon.” You watch as Yoongi nods his head and then you realize…”Oh my god, let me introduce you to the guys!” you set your glass down on the counter and reach for Yoongi’s hand and pull him towards the living room. Unfortunately for you, you miss the way Yoongi blushes at the contact.

“Guys, guys.” You interrupt the boys from their conversations, “This is my friend Yoongi…” you gesture towards the boy, “Yoongi, this is Jin…Namjoon, Hobi, and Nick and his pal, uh…” you blink at Alien Dude and he just grins at you, not realizing you don’t know his fucking name. “Yeah, anyway.” You decide to move on, “Jungkook and Jimin should be here soon—” Suddenly, there is soft knocking on the door. You raise a brow because who else could it be?

You walk towards the front door and look through the peep hole and much to your surprise you see Holly and Trina waiting outside the door. You’re quick to open it with a wide smile on your face.

“I thought you didn’t want to come?” You ask, your question directed towards Trina.

“I…” her eyes slide to Holly, “…Had a change of heart.” She huffs out quietly.

“You’re going to be civil?” you smirk at your friend and she rolls her eyes at you.

“She’s going to be more than civil.” Holly pipes up, “She’s going to be nice.”

“Hey we never agreed to that!” Trina crosses her arms over her chest, “But whatever.”

“Thanks for coming T.” your smirk transitions into a soft smile. This means a lot to you, that Trina is trying to accept Jungkook.

“Well? Are you going to let us in or what?”

“Right, right.” You move to the side and let the girls through. They step inside and make their way towards the boys.

“Oh? You must be Mister Oatmeal Raisin!” Trina grins towards Yoongi, who stands here chatting with Hobi.

“You’re…let me guess, Trina? And you must be Holly?” he nods at both girls, “I’ve heard a lot about you two.”

“I hope good things?” Trina teases.

“Only the best.” Yoongi raises his glass to her and she turns her head to smirk at you.

You watch as everyone gets along, talking, laughing and having a good time—all except Vanessa. She is sitting on the sofa on her phone, tapping away. She doesn’t even try to converse with any of Jungkook’s friends? Strange. You hate her, technically. But you can’t help but feel bad? Like, why does she isolate herself so much? Does she really just have some social anxiety or something? There’s got to be a reason for her odd behavior.

“Hey.” You say, sitting on the sofa next to her. “You okay?”

“Hm?” Vanessa doesn’t look up from her phone as she barely acknowledges you.

“Why don’t you come hang out with the rest of us?”

Vanessa tilts her head to get a look at you and she blinks at you repeatedly.

“Why?” she finally asks. “I’m only here for Jungkook.”

Okay, ouch.

“Oh...well—”

“You never answered my question from earlier,” Vanessas coy smile begins growing on her face. “How you feel about Jungkook.”

You feel your palms get sweaty when you process her words. How the hell do you respond to that?

“I—I…” Then the front door is opening and you hear Jimin obnoxiously announce their arrival, that he has the birthday boy.

You immediately jump to your feet and rush towards the entrance of the apartment to greet your friends.

“Too bad you can’t admit it, “ Vanessa whispers, her eyes going back to her phone, “I could help you too.”

“JUNGKOOKIE!!!” Jin opens his arms wide, “Come and embrace me! It’s your birthday gift.” Jungkook stumbles in the apartment with wide eyes as he searches the living room. His eyes find yours and he smiles. He shows you his bunny grin and you can’t help but smile back. He looks breathtaking, Jimin didn’t play around picking Jungkook’s outfit. Ripped black jeans, chunky boots, a plaid shirt with a leather jacket—he looks hot as hell. Vanessa is a lucky girl, you think bitterly to yourself.

Jungkook greets his friends one by one until he sees Yoongi walk from the kitchen into the living room. Yoongi has refilled his wine glass and stops just in front of Jungkook and bows his head in greeting. You rush to the two boys, joining them in this awkward encounter.

“Oh, I invited Yoongi.” You begin to explain, “You remember Yoongi, right?” you ask Jungkook.

“Of course…” Jungkook tries smiling but it’s tense and strained. At this, Yoongi smirks.

Yoongi steps closer to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder and he smiles at Jungkook.

“I’m y/n’s plus one tonight—or I guess her…date?”

“D-Date?” You and Jungkook both stutter out.

Yoongi brings you in closer, nice and snug against his shoulder as he chuckles.

“Something like that.”

Jungkook tries releasing a breath but finds it to be troublesome. He looks at you with an expression you cannot really decipher, but he doesn’t look all too pleased.

“That’s nice.” He finally says, scratching the back of his neck.

“What’s nice?” It’s a smooth and silky voice. Vanessa. “Happy birthday babe.” She joins your circle next to Jungkook and places a kiss on his cheek.

“Right…” you butt in, “Happy birthday Jungkook.” You smile, still in Yoongi’s arms.

“What do you want to do first?” Vanessa links arms with Jungkook and you feel your body go tense. You don’t want her to touch him.

“Eat.” Jungkook laughs, “I’m so hungry.”

“Well, we have pizza for everyone.” You say loudly, getting the rest of everyone’s attention.

“You say pizza? Hell yeah.” Trina walks towards you four with Holly following behind her.

“Oh hey Trina…” Jungkook says, not entirely too sure how to talk to the girl that hates him.

“Hey Jungkook,” she says quickly with a smile, “So where’s the pizza?”

Jungkook and you share a look of pleasant surprise. Trina? Being nice?

The rest of the boys follow and you all head inside the kitchen to snag a few slices of pizza from the pizzeria that Jungkook is fond of. Vanessa stays close to Jungkook’s side, not that you are surprised. But what is surprising you is that Yoongi has suddenly become slightly more affectionate with you?

Yoongi takes any chance he can get to touch you in some way, whether it be picking a piece of thread off your shirt, or placing a wild strand of hair behind your ear. He doesn’t really strike you as the type to be so openly affectionate…at least not the one to initiate it.

But can picking a piece of thread off your shirt really be counted as affectionate? Maybe he’s just trying to help. What you don’t know though…Jungkook has picked up on too. He has watched as Yoongi smiles at you and you smile back, he has watched as Yoongi subtlety touches your arm when he talks to you and how your hand finds his shoulder when you laugh.

Jungkook sits on his couch, chowing down on a slice of pizza as he glares at you and Yoongi. He doesn’t mean to glare but why is he here? This is a small get together between close friends. How close have you and Yoongi gotten?

“And then bro, I was like no fucking way bro.” Alien bro talks animatedly, his hands motioning all around the place.

Nick stuffs another slice of pizza in his mouth, nodding along to Alien bro’s story.

“That is fucking wild.” You hear Trina pitch in, “Like, did that really happen to you?”

“It may have been a dream, but let me tell you…” Alien bro closes his eyes, “I think it was real, like a memory.”

You internally laugh, because this dude has got some wild fucking stories and you don’t know how to take him seriously. But everyone seems to be enjoying it.

“Let’s do cake!” You hear Jimin yell out, “I have such a sweet tooth right now.”

At this you see Vanessa actually light up, like she has been waiting all night for someone to mention the cake. You two agreed she could present it to Jungkook, maybe that’s why she’s so visibly excited.

“I’ll go get it…” She speaks up, “I’ll be right back.” She says, facing Jungkook. Vanessa stands from her spot next to Jungkook on the couch and heads towards the kitchen.

A few minutes pass by when you hear your name being called. You get up and walk to the kitchen when you see Vanessa with the cake in her hands, the candles already lit up.

“Can you turn off the lights?” she asks, “And you can start the Birthday song.”

You nod your head, walking back into the living room to switch the lights off.

“Okay, ready Jungkook?” you smile at him and he rolls his eyes with a smirk.

“I guess.” He says, amusement laced in his voice.

“Happy birthday to you!” you begin singing, the rest of the gang joins in and the living room is soon being filled with the sound of everyone’s voices singing Jungkook a happy birthday. You pull out your phone and begin recording, Vanessa walks in with the cake and she keeps her face neutral. She doesn’t even sing, wow. You can’t help but kind of laugh, that’s so in character for her.

“Happy birthday dear Juuuungkoook, Happy birthday to you!” You all finish up and start whooping and hollering.

“Make a wish.” Vanessa sets the cake down in front of him and Jungkook nods his head. He takes a deep breath before his eyes find yours. You guys share a brief moment before he’s blowing out his candles.

“What did you wish for?!” Hobi asks, excitement filling the room as everyone agrees that they want to know.

“Secret.” He says, still looking at you.

“Here,” Vanessa nudges a perfectly wrapped box in Jungkook’s hands, “Present.”

“You didn’t have to Vanessa.” Jungkook grins at her but he’s already unwrapping his gift, he throws the wrapping paper to the floor and takes a look at the cologne box.

“This is so expensive!” he whines, “But thank you!” He looks at you for a moment when he awkwardly pecks Vanessas lips in front of everyone.

“My turn!” Jimin shouts, “My turn, my turn!” he stands up and walks by the front door where he left the gift. He picks up the bag and walks back into the living room, standing in front of Jungkook, handing him the bag.

“You’ll love it.” Jimin wiggles his brows at the boy.

Jungkook wiggles his brows back as he opens up the bag and pulls out a black hoodie.

“Fuck yeah.” Jungkook stands up to hug Jimin, “This one is so soft.”

The rest of the gang gives Jungkook a gift one by one until all eyes are on you. Suddenly, you feel super fucking shy and lame that you got matching bracelets.

“Uh, I haven’t gotten anything for you yet…” you lie. “But I will soon, promise.”

Jungkook’s bunny smile begins to fade as he processes your words,

“No worries, y/n.” he smiles again, “You don’t have to get me anything.”

“It’s just a little late, is all.” You shift awkwardly from one foot to another. You wish you weren’t such an idiot. You notice Jimin staring at you from across the room, he looks disappointed.

“What about the bracelets y/n?” Vanessa’s voice can be heard by everyone. She looks at you with a blank expression and you never wanted to strangle someone more.

“What bracelets?” Jungkook’s curiosity showing.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. They’re friendship bracelets. Such a sweet idea.” Vanessa smiles at you.

“You got me and you friendship bracelets?” Jungkook stands up and walks to you, he extends his right hand out and waits expectantly.

“Thanks Vanessa.” You deadpan.

“No problem.”

“It’s really nothing Jungkook…”

“I want the damn bracelet y/n.”

You stare at him for a moment, his big doe eyes making you feel like you must give in.

“okay, they’re in my bag…” you turn around and search for your purse. You notice Yoongi trying to hand it you and you smile at him gratefully.

“Here.” You hand him his bracelet and he inspects it, rolling it through his fingers.

“Your initial?” Jungkook clenches the bracelet in his fist and looks up at you.

“I fucking love it.” He brings the bracelet to his heart, “I will wear it every day.”

“I have one too…” you pull it from your bag and dangle in around.

“It has a J?” Jungkook bunny smile grows ten times as wide. He takes the bracelet from your fingers and chuckles at the two bracelets.

“I love it.”

“I’m glad you like it—”

“No, love it. I love…” Then he’s clearing his throat, remembering he is in a room full of people.

“Thank you.”

“Oh! There’s one more thing…” you pull out the key chain and you watch as Jungkook’s face lights up. Of course he is more excited about the key chain, you laugh.

“Fucking awesome!” Jungkook takes it from you, “I’ll put it on my keys!”

“That’s the idea,” you chuckle. “Anyway, let’s play games now.”

You and Jungkook stand at the front of the living room, in front of the T.V in battle mode.

“You’re going down Jeon.” You snicker at him, he only rolls his eyes at you as he readies himself.

“I’m just glad I’m not going against Jimin.” Jungkook shoots Jimin a look and Jimin winks.

You two have to chug an entire beer can, trying to beat the other.

“Honestly, same.” You admit, if anyone can down a drink in seconds—it’s Jimin.

Trina stands up and joins your side,

“Okay, are we ready everyone?”

Everyone begins cheering, the sound motivating you and making you feel excited.

“Okay. When I yell…BAM…you start drinking and don’t stop until that can is empty…got it?”

“Yes, we know how to chug a drink, Trina.”

“Damn girl, I was just sayin’.” Trina throws a hand on her hip, “Okay, 3…2…1…BAM!”

You and Jungkook scramble to start drinking, the chilly liquid making its way down your throats. The drink is cold and carbonated and you’re trying to ignore the way it sizzles, instead pretending it’s as smooth as water and you down it back.

“Jungkook is going to win!” Namjoon yells out, he has risen to his feet, the excitement too much.

“No, y/n is! Look how much her head it tilting back!” You hear Jin chime in.

Truth is, you aren’t really sure how much you’ve drank, or how much is left! You’re just wanting it to be over!

“Holy shit, they’re both so close!”

“Broooooooo”

And right as you’re about to finish your drink you hear the sound of a can being crushed right next to you. He won.

“WHAT’S UP…LOSER!” Jungkook shakes his empty, crushed can in your face as you finally finish your own drink.

“Okay, okay. Literally only let you win because it’s your birthday.” You snide playfully.

“Sure y/n, sure.” Jungkook grins down at you, his laughter bounces off the walls and you feel so whole when you hear the sound. He leans forward until his arms are wrapped around you in a quick yet loving hug.

“Whatever you got to say to yourself…loser.” He chuckles out, letting go of you.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Your pout is so cute, Jungkook thinks.

Yoongi stands up, his gummy smile lighting up the room as he approaches you two. He stands next to you and asks if you’re alright.

“You’ve already had so much to drink, I’m just making sure you can make it back to the sofa.” Yoongi’s shoulders shake as he laughs.

“She can handle herself.” You hear Jungkook say in a somewhat serious tone, “She knows how to drink.” He tries to say a little more lightly.

“But she doesn’t really have to do the penalty, right?” Yoongi asks.

“No, I definitely do.” You laugh out, “Where’s the shot, huh?”

Jungkook gives you a silly looking smirk as he heads towards the kitchen to fetch you that shot. He’s only gone for a moment when you realize he has returned with the liquid of fire.

“For you, princess.”

You roll your eyes at his little nick name he’s given you but you cannot help the blush that creeps on your cheeks…

“Please…please.” You pant, rolling your hips into his as you meet his desperate thrusts.

“Please what, princess?” he breathes out heavily, “Told you that when you’re with—” He begins fucking into you faster, “When you’re with me…to use your words.” His pace is bruising, causing you to choke on the air around you.

The little nick name causing you to remember something you have tied burying.

“I think you should take one too, since it is your birthday after all.” You tease.

“But I’m the winner…” Jungkook pouts, his bottom lip jutting out so far.

“Come on, I bet you won’t.” Jimin pipes in.

“Yeah dude.” You hear Nick say.

“FINE!” Jungkook throws his hands up in defeat, “But you have to go pour it for me.” He says, looking at you.

“Done deal, baby.”

“Pour me one too.” Vanessa walks up to you, her strap on her shoulder sliding down.

“Oh?” you ask, but you nod your head in approval and head towards the kitchen to pour two more shots.

You return with the shots, but feel your stomach drop when you see Jungkook and Vanessa laughing together, her hand laying on his chest, his arm wrapped around her waist.

“Oh!” Jungkook looks at you and smiles, “The shots!”

“Yeah…”

And then Min Yoongi is at your side with his own shot, he looks at you and gives you a sweet smile and eyes full of understanding.

“Let’s take them.” He says. His hand going to yours, he squeezes it tight and you feel yourself trying to breathe.

“Here you go.” You hand the two shots to Jungkook and Vanessa, they take them and you four look at one another before raising your glasses.

“Happy birthday, Jungkook.” You whisper, taking the shot.

Hours pass, and things are starting to wind down, you think. Jin, Namjoon and Hobi are at the front door saying their goodbyes and you feel your time is coming soon too.

“Us too.” Trina says, “Our uber is almost here.” Her and Holly gather their things and make their way out the door.

“Jimin, you coming with us?” Trina asks.

“Um, what about you y/n?” Jimin makes it to your side, his hand going to rub your shoulder.

“You guys go without me, I’m going to help clean up. Hostess duties!” You salute towards your friends and they giggle.

“Okay babe, I’ll see you soon?” Jimin goes in for a tight hug and you hug him back even tighter.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll help you clean up.” Yoongi offers, but you shake your head.

“No, I couldn’t ask that. Me and Vanessa got it. You go home too, it’s so late. I will come by to see you soon though.”

“Are you sure?” Yoongi asks as he catches Jungkook watching you two. “Well, if you insist y/n.” he inches towards you and to your surprise, you feel his lips leave a small kiss on your cheek. Yoongi smirks when he sees Jungkook react. Jungkook glares at the boy and Yoongi feels like hopefully he helped enough tonight.

“What was that for?” you feel yourself turn red.

“Nothing.” He whispers before he’s turning around and walking out of the door.

You are left here shocked and confused but you cannot help but smile at Yoongi’s small gesture. He really is too sweet.

“Well,” you turn around to face Jungkook and Vanessa, “Let’s clean up,” you say to Vanessa, “And then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Actually,” Vanessa curls her lips upwards, “I am feeling quite tired.” Her eyes find yours, “So maybe Jungkook can help you clean up.”

“You’re going home already?” Jungkook looks confused. He was probably expecting birthday sex or some shit.

“Mhm.” She breathes out easily, “See you later babe.” She leans over and pecks his cheek, you immediately twist your head to look away. Vanessa notices and she fucking smiles that sly ass smile. “See you later, y/n.”

And with that she is out of the apartment, leaving just you and Jungkook and Nick and Alien Bro.

“We will be out on the balcony smoking, if you guys want to join.” Nick offers to you, but you’re shaking your head no.

“Nah, you guys enjoy.” Jungkook says. Nick and Alien bro (You really got to learn this dudes name) are opening the back door and leaving you guys for the balcony.

“And then there was two.” Jungkook jokes, he chews on his lips as he watches you begin the cleaning up process. You get a large black trash bag and start throwing away the empty beer bottles and other trash around the living room and kitchen.

“Help me clean, birthday boy.”

Jungkook grins at you and starts helping, he’s gathering the shot glasses and setting them in the kitchen sink. You two work like this for around 10-15 minutes when the place is finally looking like his apartment again.

“Well, I guess that’s it.” You set the last trash bag in the kitchen, “You and Nick can take these out later, right?” “Yes, y/n. You did enough, I swear.” Jungkook smiles at you. “Hey, where’s your bracelet?” he dangles his wrist around, showing you his.

“Oh…” You dig around in your pockets until you finally find the piece of jewelry.

“Let me.” Jungkook stands closer to you, reaching his hand out, expecting you to hand over the bracelet. You place it in his hand and he grabs your wrist and clips the bracelet on.

“There.” He breathes out, “Never take it off.” He half jokes.

“You really like it?”

“I really love it.” Jungkook pulls you in for a hug, but he’s letting go much faster than you would like.

“Wanna chill for a bit?” He asks you, his hands still on your arms from your hug that you just shared.

“For a bit, sure.”

You two walk to the living room sofa and plop down, the long day finally catching up to you. It’s around 1 am now, you’ve been running around all day.

“So…” Jungkook looks at you with an unreadable expression, “What’s going on with you and this Yoongi guy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Was tonight like, a date for you two?”

“What? No?”

“Really? Could of fooled me and like, everyone else.”

“He was just joking…I think.” You groan into your hands, and laugh. “Why?”

“I was just wondering.” He turns to face forward, his face hardening as he thinks. “Is he going to be like, your boyfriend?”

“What?!” you choke on your spit, “Yoongi is my friend.”

“Does he know that?” Jungkook continues to look forward, “He was all over you.”

“He definitely was not all over me. Oh my god. What are you getting so crazy for?”

Crazy. That’s the word you use, but he knows you mean jealous. Jungkook sits here, biting on his bottom lip. He has to admit, he doesn’t like this ‘crazy’ feeling. He feels like he’s suffocating just remembering you with Yoongi tonight. He has no right to feel crazy or jealous. He has a girlfriend for fucks sake!

“I just hope he’s treating you right.”

“He’s just a friend Jungkook. But you know what? And if he was trying to date me?”

Jungkook feels his chest tighten, not liking the idea already.

“Then like I said, I hope he’s treating you right.” He says more softly, turning to look at you again.

“Did you enjoy your birthday?”

“It was nice, thank you.”

“What’s your favorite birthday in your life so far?”

Jungkook tilts his head as he thinks, rocking it side to side. He folds his arms behind his head and lets out a long breath.

“There’s two I can think of.” He says, “When I was 10 all I wanted to do was see one of those drive thru zoo things. But I wasn’t expecting much because I guess birthdays and holidays were stressful for my parents…” he takes a deep breath, “they always fought so much and so I didn’t think we would be doing anything for my birthday at all. But they for once, they got along this day. They took me to the zoo and I just remember being so on edge like something may go wrong…but it never did, it was a perfect day.”

“I bet 10 year old Jungkook was so cute.”

“I was the cutest!”

“And what’s the second?”

“Sophomore year of college.” He states quickly making you choke on air. Really? That birthday of all birthdays?

“Jungkook, there has to be a better one than that…” you begin, “We literally didn’t even do anything.”

It seemed everyone happened to become busy the day of Jungkook’s birthday, everyone except you. You and Jungkook spent the day just the two of you in his dorm room watching movies and playing video games. You didn’t even buy him a present, much too broke!

“That day meant a lot to me.” Jungkook explains, “You didn’t leave my side, no matter what.”

“Well, you were my best friend.”

“And now?” Jungkook turns his head to face you, “Am I your best friend now?”

“Jungkook…” you caress his thigh, “Of course.”

Jungkook throws his head back as he smiles that bunny smile and you can’t help but giggle.

“Were you worried?”

“So worried.” He continues to laugh, “You’re my best friend too.”

~~~~~

October

“I don’t know guys!” you whine, bringing the cup of coffee in for a sip. “Marketing…can someone even be passionate about that?”

“What did I say y/n? You’re so concerned if you’re passionate or not, why don’t you start off small—finding something you just like.” Yoongi offers his piece of advice but you groan.

“What do you think Tae?” you point your head in his direction, “Wait, I am asking one of the most passionate people I know.” You complain.

“I agree with Yoongi, y/n.” Taehyung says, he drinks his water in gulps.

“Of course, who wouldn’t agree with Yoongi?” You hit your head on the table a few times.

You three are seated in Yoongi’s record shop in the cozy corner of the store, discussing the burden of dreams.

“I mean, guys.” You begin, “I don’t want to be making cookies forever.”

“But I really like them.” Yoongi whispers.

“Me too,” Taehyung says as he shoves a sugar cookie down his throat. “So good.”

“Guys, you aren’t helping.”

“Honestly y/n…” Yoongi stands from his seat to get some more coffee, “Stop trying to force a dream to happen. It will come to you naturally, just trust in that.”

“You make it sound so easy.” You hand Taehyung another cookie and he takes it with a grin.

“So y/n…” Taehyung swallows down the last bits of the cookie before he’s turning to face you in his chair, “How was Jungkook’s birthday, I forgot to ask.”

“It went really well actually.”

“Why do you say ‘actually’?” Taehyung laughs, “Were you expecting it to go bad?”

“It’s not that…I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Is it because of Vanessa?” Yoongi comes back with two fresh coffees.

“Maybe.”

“That’s his girlfriend, right? I just don’t get it. Should we come up with an evil plan to break them up?” Taehyung snickers.

“Tae, chill.” You giggle.

“I’m joking but I am also totally serious.” He comments. “Anyway guys, I gotta head back to the museum. But same time next week?”

“You know it.” You blow on your hot coffee, waving him goodbye.

The last few weeks the three of you meet up for coffee (Tae usually brings his own drink of choice, says coffee is too bitter for him) and chit chat just like now. It’s an interesting group but you feel comfortable. After time has passed, forgiving and moving on from Taehyung’s crushing you has gotten easier and now you even find his friendship to be quite valuable. You guess they weren’t kidding when they say time heals all wounds.

“Are you two ever going to tell me what happened between you? You were so tense when he first started hanging out.” Yoongi says, observant as usual.

“I will. But another day,” you smile.

“No rush.” Yoongi drinks his coffee slowly, “Whenever you’re ready.”

“By the way, did it work?” Yoongi asks between sips.

You can’t help but raise your brows in question,

“Did what work?”

“Did Jungkook say anything? About being jealous?” He gives you a smirk.

“What are you talk—wait, were you purposely trying to be affectionate with me to see if Jungkook would get a rise out of it?” You ask, completely shocked. That seems almost out of character for Yoongi!

“I tried. I’m a little awkward being the first to show affection, “ he admits, “But for you, my friend, I was willing to try.” He gives you a shy smile and you feel your heart race.

“Yoongi—”

“You really don’t even have to answer because I know the truth. I could see it on his face, but I was curious if he said anything to you.”

You think back to Jungkook’s birthday and well…he technically did say something to you. He was being a little crazy (jealous) but you cannot understand why. Jungkook is your friend and not to mention he has a girlfriend.

“Sorry to disappoint Yoongs, but he did not.” You decide to say.

“Did you know you avoid all eye contact when you want to lie.” Yoongi takes another sip of his coffee, his sly smile telling you he knows the truth.

“Jeez, why do you pick up on things so quickly?!” you groan, “I can’t even tell one little nothing lie in front of you.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t try to lie to me then.” He laughs. “So what did he say?”

“He just—I don’t know. He just…wanted to know what was up with you basically.”

Yoongi opens his mouth to say ‘Ah’ and then continues to drink his coffee.

“He’s not going to be rude to you or anything!” you quickly say, “he’s just a little protective over me, is all.”

“Oh? That’s all?” Yoongi teases.

“Hey…” you set your cup down and fold your hands in your lap, “What makes you think Jungkook feels the same way?”

Yoongi breathes out slowly, his fingers tapping against his mug when he looks up at you and smiles.

“There’s an obvious tension between you two, “ he starts, “The way he looks at you. That honestly gave everything away. His eyes always find you, no matter what.” Yoongi quietly chuckles, “The way he’s threatened by me. He doesn’t even try to hide it.” Yoongi thinks for a moment, “And…you two, the way you are together…god, it’s like watching two people who are in a relationship but don’t know they’re in a relationship.”

“What—what do you mean by that?” you pry further. Curious about your own dynamic with Jungkook that maybe even you can’t see.

“I don’t know like, you guys act like boyfriend and girlfriend already!” he laughs, “That’s when I knew I didn’t stand a chance.”

“Yoongi…”

“It’s okay,” his gummy smile lights up his whole face, “being your friend has been so much more rewarding.”

You feel yourself smile at his words…although, you do feel bad. But keeping a friend like Yoongi around has been amazing. And maybe if you weren’t already in love with someone else…no, you shouldn’t even think that, that’s not fair.

“Thanks Yoongs.”

~~~~~~

“We need to talk.”

Jimin is shoving his way through Jungkook’s front door, his hair pushed back in frustration like his fingers have been running through it for hours.

“Jesus man, it’s like 8 in the fucking morning.” Jungkook’s low, groggy voice booms from his chest.

“This couldn’t wait. I have to be at work at 9 and I’ve been up all night with the same one thing on my mind.” Jimin takes off his shoes and makes his way to the couch.

“And what’s that?” Jungkook asks, clearly annoyed.

“You need to tell y/n how you feel.” Jimin decides to go with the straight forward approach, he does not have the time to beat around the bush today.

Jungkook closes the door and swings around to face Jimin,

“Huh?”

“Listen man, I’ve been racking my brain about it all fucking night. It’s got to be you. You have to do it, she won’t.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Grow the fucking balls, man!” Jimin sits back on the sofa, his head falling into the cushion.

“Look dude, I don’t know what you—”

“You’re in love with her, you have been since freshmen year. You guys fucked, I know. She didn’t talk to you for however long, I know that too. But come on man, it’s so clear how you both feel.”

Jungkook continues to stand here, not knowing what to say. Where is all this coming from?

“I have a girlfriend, Jimin.”

“Oh please, give me a fucking break.” Jimin stands up, walking towards Jungkook. “There is almost zero chemistry between you two. Like emotional chemistry…I don’t know what your sex life is like…” Jimin holds up a hand, “And I don’t want to know.”

“Wasn’t going to tell you anyway,” Jungkook pouts. “Listen, how can you be so sure y/n would even feel the same way?”

“Can’t you just fucking trust me?” Jimin yells out, exasperated.

“Did she say the words Jimin?” Jungkook becomes very serious, making Jimin shudder. “Did she tell you she has feelings for me?” his dark eyes pierce into Jimin’s.

Jimin looks down at the ground, feeling defeated.

“You know I can’t tell you that.” Jimin finally says, “You just have to have the courage man. Are you really going to go your whole life not telling her? Why torture yourself like that?”

Jungkook stands here feeling so lost, and fucking emotional. Like, he could god damn cry about it.

“Because,” Jungkook sniffles into his sleeve. “It’s guaranteed she would be in my life. I can’t risk losing her. I couldn’t handle that man…” Jungkook begins to choke up.

Jimin walks closer to Jungkook and pulls him in for a tight hug, Jungkook keeps his arms to his side.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Jimin whispers.

“I think though…that there will be a moment where you finally have the courage…”

“I don’t know.”

“You will, Jungkook. When the timing is right…but I don’t know when that is for you two.”

“I really do love her…” Jungkook allows a few tears to slip from his closed eyes into Jimin’s shoulder. “I’m so frustrated like, all the time.” He admits, “Seeing her, talking to her, I just want to tell her how I feel. I hate how hard I have to try just to stay in the zone of friendship. But you don’t understand the risk…” Jungkook leans back, pulling away from Jimin. “If she doesn’t feel the same, I could lose her.” His puffy eyes avoid Jimin. “Can I handle a loss like that again?”

“But she…” Jimin has to bite his tongue…seeing his two best friends like this hurts his heart beyond belief.

“Yeah, I understand.” Jimin decides to say, “But I think you might be surprised.”

Jungkook pulls his brows together, his face scrunching up and he scoffs.

“Maybe, but maybe not.”

“I’m sorry to bring this all on you so early in the morning…I’ve just been so worried about you two…” Jimin starts to put his shoes back on.

“Maybe you could stay until you really need to leave for work? You still go like 45 minutes, right?” Jungkook practically begs with sad, soft eyes.

“Sure.” Jimin takes his shoes back off and grabs a hold of Jungkook’s shoulder, “Let’s sit down for a while.”

The two boys head to the couch and take a seat, leaving little space between them. Jungkook needs the presence of another human being right now, he needs to feel real live warmth. Jimin wishes he could mend Jungkook’s cracked heart but he knows only you can do that. But Jimin can try his best. The two sit in comfortable silence, the only sound that can be heard is Jungkook’s light sniffling and Jimin humming a soft tune.

“It’s almost 9.” Jimin mentions regretfully.

“I know. Thanks for staying for a bit.”

“Of course.” Jimin rises from the couch, “You guys are my best friends but you two sure are fucking idiots.” He smiles and makes his way to leave.

~~~~~~

Bored. So fucking bored. Trina and Holly went out for dinner tonight and you were not invited! You kind of wonder what’s going on between them…but that’s a thought for another day, right now you are so fucking bored.

It’s Friday night and you don’t know what to do with yourself. Jimin has some party he’s going to tonight but you didn’t really feel like going so you rejected his invitation, Jin and the guy’s invited you over for a cookout but you said no because you didn’t feel like driving all the way to Jin’s place—you know, lazy.

And you haven’t heard from Jungkook all day so he’s probably tired from work or worse—with Vanessa. But would it hurt to try? To see what he’s up to?

y/n 9:04pm

hi

Jungkook 9:10pm

Hi

y/n 9:12pm

Whatcha up to tonight?

Jungkook 9:13pm

Nothing really, you?

y/n 9:13pm

nothing either…

y/n 9:13pm

Wanna have a movie night with some wine?

Jungkook 9:20pm

Sure:)

Jungkook 9:23pm

Lemme guess, I have to bring the wine

y/n 9:23pm

Bingo!

Jungkook 9:50pm

I’m almost there

Not even 5 minutes later you hear your door being knocked on, and you yell a ‘come in’. Jungkook pushes the door open and finds you sitting on the couch wrapped up in your favorite blanket. He shuts the door behind him, and walks to the kitchen for some wine glasses. You two only nod at one another in greeting, getting comfortable in each others presence.

“I brought 2 bottles,” Jungkook says, “One for you, one for me.”

“Wow, you’re so smart.” You smile up at him and his heart clenches in his chest. Your smile is so special, it’s so soft and so fucking pretty he almost cannot handle it.

“Y-Yeah.” He sets the glasses down on the table that sits in front of the sofa. “What movie do you have in mind?”

“You can choose.”

“Iron Man?” “No, not that.”

“Fine.” He pouts, “Let’s find something new on Netflix.”

An hour into some random drama, you find yourself getting sleepy.

“Wakey wakey.” You feel Jungkook’s breath on your ear, you open your eyes a little wider to prove your consciousness.

“I am awake…hey,” you suddenly get an idea, “Remember a little while ago you said you felt like our friendship kind of started over?”

“Hm? Yeah?”

“Would if we do?”

“I don’t get it?” Jungkook asks clearly confused.

“Let’s play a game! Of getting to know each other better. Everything out on the table.” You say with a pleased smile, obviously loving your own idea.

“hmmmmm…” Jungkook wraps his blanket closer around his body, “Sure.”

“Yay! I’ll pull out a list of questions from the internet.” You get your phone and google a list of questions. “You ready?” you say with a wink.

“I guess so.” He playfully shrugs his shoulders and shows you a small smile.

“Okay one…What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?”

“hmm…sleeping in, working out, playing video games, making videos, sleeping some more, hanging out with you.”

“Wow, honored.” You tease. “For me, it’s sleeping all day.”

“That’s it? That’s your whole answer?” Jungkook giggles.

“What type of music are into to?”

“y/n…” Jungkook whines, “You already know these answers…”

“We’re pretending we don’t!”

“Fine, I like almost all genres but I really prefer ballads.”

“I like music with meaningful lyrics,” you say.

“I agree.” Jungkook grins at you.

“Next…Do you have a favorite holiday. Why or why not?”

Jungkook nibbles on his lips as he thinks…is he honest?

“I use to hate holidays.” He admits softly, slightly slurring thanks to the wine, “But now it’s Christmas and New Year’s. And why? Both reasons are because of you.”

You feel your cheeks become warmer and probably pinker.

“Mine too.” You say quickly, “Next,” you are in a rush to change the subject. “Do you want a family of your own?”

“One day, yes. With the right person…”

“I’m the same.” You scroll through the questions, “If you had only one sense…hearing, touch, sight, etc, which would you want?”

“Touch. Imagine not being able to feel things?” Jungkook asks, he thinks about not being able to feel the soft touch of sheets on a bed, the feel of your hair between his fingers, your skin, your lips—wait, he needs to chill. “Yeah, touch.”

“Really? I would choose sight.” You say, “Who do you admire most in this world?”

“Mom.” Jungkook whispers, “She was so strong, she went through so much yet still found the strength to love me.”

“You.” Your hand finds Jungkook’s, you hold on to him softly, “My answer is you.”

“y/n…” Jungkook leans into your side, “Thank you.”

You clear you throat and continue scrolling through your phone, looking for the next question.

“If you found out today is your last day on Earth, what would you do?”

“Exactly what I’m doing right now.”

“Honestly? Me too.” You whisper, you feel your heart beginning to race as you and Jungkook admit that if it were your last day, you would spend it together. Somehow the thought almost seems romantic to you…that’s obviously your imagination but you can dream.

“What’s the last thing you do at night?”

Jungkook wiggles his brows at you and you hit his arm, laughing.

“Gross.” You giggle. “Something besides that.”

“What? You think it’s gross to mast—”

“Don’t!” you yell out laughing. “Don’t be gross.”

“Everyone does it y/n…I bet even you.” Jungkook voice goes low. “in fact, I have a question for you.” Jungkook scoots closer to you, “When was the last time you got yourself off?” your eyes go wide, “It’s not like you’re seeing anyone…unless you and Yoon—”

“No!” You begin to panic, “I’m not seeing anyone, you’re right.”

Jungkook releases a long breath and he smiles, “Thought so.” Then he’s scooting even closer to you.

“How do you touch yourself y/n?” He slurs out, “With your fingers only? Perhaps you use a vibrator?”

You push your head back in shock, there’s no way in hell Jungkook just asked you that? Is he drunk? Barely.

“Why do you want to know that?” you scoot a little closer to him too.

“Best friends know this type of stuff about each other all the time, don’t they?”

“Not really…but I’ll play. I use both.”

Jungkook raises a brow in amusement, he bites on his bottom lip as his smirks at you.

“You own a vibrator?” Jungkook chuckles darkly, “How come I didn’t know?”

“Why would I tell you that?”

“I bet Jimin knows.”

“Fine, he does.”

Jungkook narrows his eyes at you as he tries to hold in his slight laughter, his hand comes to his mouth and he chuckles into it.

“Thought so…when’s the last time you used it?”

“Last night before bed.”

“So, it’s the last thing you did at night?” Jungkook points his finger at you knowingly and you can’t help but laugh.

“Okay, I see where this is going. Fine, I get. We all masturbate. It’s completely normal and not gross and a totally valid answer for something you do before bed.” You throw your hands up as you giggle.

“Thank you.” Jungkook knees touch yours as he scoots just an inch closer, “But I wasn’t trying to make a point, I was genuinely curious about you.” He admits in a deep voice and you squeeze your thighs together, an action that does not go unnoticed by him. His eyes land to your lap and he chuckles. His voice is so low and inviting as he speaks, “Are you curious about me too?”

“What do you mean?”

“About when’s the last time I—”

“Fine, when’s the last time?” you ask lightly.

“Right before I came here.” He admits easily.

“Interesting.”

You and Jungkook stare at one another for what feels like at least an hour but in reality probably seconds. But his dark gaze is so raw and powerful, you find yourself leaning into his space.

“The last time I used my vibrator was yes, last night. But the last time I touched myself was tonight. Before you arrived.”

Jungkook nods his head in understanding, or maybe it’s approval? Either way he nods his head as a sly smile creeps on his lips.

“Can I ask you what you thought about?” Even Jungkook widens his eyes in surprise as he asks that. Where did that confidence come from? “Sorry that’s TMI.” He quickly rushes to say, not wanting to really hear your answer because he shouldn’t know what you fantasize about especially if he’s not in said fantasies.

You lean your head back and snicker. You wish you had the fucking courage to tell him the truth. Him. You thought about him.

In your fantasy his head was between your legs, licking you up and making you squirm. He would moan into your greedy cunt, basking in your juices. God, you can just picture it now. His mouth and nose covered in you, the shine on his face evidence of how well he’s eaten you. His fingers still buried inside you as he lifts his head up to smirk down at you, his hair a fucking mess from how much you have tugged on it.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t thinking about it right now and getting so heavily turned on. Your chest heaves just a little more than usual, and there’s an ache between your legs that you wish Jungkook would soothe. Your fantasy of him going down on you? You took that straight from your memories.

“Not going to say anything?” Jungkook leans in a little closer.

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“About…?”

“You.”

Jungkook’s eyes expand as he processes what you just say until—

“Wait, wait. That came out wrong.” Your hands scramble to hold on to his shoulders. “I mean, I was thinking about you. But not like that.” You lie. Because you have to lie.

“Oh…right, that makes sense.” Jungkook visibly deflates at your confession.

“Anyway, yeah. That’s a TMI for sure.” You laugh awkwardly and Jungkook leans back away from you.

“For sure.” Jungkook leans back on the sofa, “So, what’s the next question?”

“Ever had a threesome?” you ask from your own brain.

“You already know I have.”

“With two girls or with another guy…?”

“Two girls.”

“Would you ever with another guy?”

“Maybe if it’s with a girl that doesn’t mean something to me…but if it’s with someone I care about, probably not. I think I may be too possessive. Don’t wanna share.”

“Ah, I see.”

“What about you?”

“I would do both.” You admit. “Sounds like fun…”

“It is fun,” Jungkook laughs, “But there’s something special about just being with one person, if it’s special…”

“Have you ever had sex with someone special?”

“Yes.”

Oh. Jungkook’s never been in a serious relationship since you’ve known him so you weren’t expecting him to answer that with a yes…but he is with Vanessa now. So obviously…

“I see.”

“What’s the next question?”

“I’m looking up a new list. It’s kind of sexy, is that okay?”

“A list of dirty questions? I’m down.” Jungkook smirks and you feel the heat between your legs grow.

“Okay the first one is asking if you’re a virgin and I think the whole town knows the answer to that…”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!”

You laugh out, “Nothing, nothing.” Then continue scrolling, “Okay, opinion on shower sex?”

“Hmm, I’ve done, and I will do it again.”

“For me, it’s a little uncomfortable but I’ll do it,” you say, “boob or butt guy?”

“Fuck. Both of them, can I say both?” Jungkook pleads and you giggle.

“Sure, both.” Your eyes light up when you find the next question. “Oooh. What is your most embarrassing sex story?”

“Oh god…okay. When I was in high school I was getting head from this girl…”

“Uh huh…and then?”

“We got caught by our teacher and that’s a total mood killer right?”

“Right?”

“Well, when the teacher was scolding me I popped another boner. And I was wearing sweats so it was super obvious and she was trying so hard not to make it obvious. But I don’t know, my body betrayed me.”

“You got hard from getting scolded?”

“Apparently.”

You burst out into giggles, the story absolutely killing you. Who does that? Who pops a boner from getting scolded…by their fucking teacher?

“Your turn, your turn.”

“Okay…one time I was giving head…”

“Uh huh…and then?” he copies you.

“And I guess I swallowed his cum too fast because it shot out of my nose like milk.”

“What the fuck y/n.” Jungkook laughs out hysterically. “That’s so awesome.”

“It wasn’t awesome Jungkook, it was embarrassing.”

“Perspective.”

“In what world is someone’s perspective on this awesome?” “Mine.”

“Well, you’re fucking weird.

“Maybe so.” Jungkook continues to laugh, “What’s next?”

“Do you prefer to give or receive?”

“Who doesn’t love to receive? That’s obvious. But me? I am a giver, 100%”

And he’s right. Hence why you’re able to use the memory of him going down on you as good masturbation material.

“I see.”

“I think I am a giver too.” You look down at your phone, “But who doesn’t love to receive?”

“You do give nicely.” Jungkook whispers, “Anyway what’s the next one?”

“Do you like sexting?”

“Fucking love it. I love the dirty words and pictures.” He admits.

“Yeah, me too.”

What would it be like to be texting Jungkook throughout the work day, sending one another your dirtiest fantasies and pictures to go along with it.

“I’ll read the next one now…If I came home from work stressed, how you do you relax me?” your eyes go wide when you realize, “Wait, pretends it’s asking about someone else. So a girl you’re with comes home from work stressed, how do you relax her?”

Jungkook is quiet for a few moments, he chews on his bottom lip and breathes out heavily.

“How would I relax you? I mean, some girl?”

“Y-Yes.”

“First, I would kiss you breathless.”

“You mean her.”

“Right. I would kiss her lips over and over, taking off one article of clothing at a time, sit her down on the couch while I make my way into the kitchen…pour her a glass of her favorite wine and hand it to her. Then I would kiss down her body, telling her sweet words. How much I love her, how much I missed her today, how much she means to me. I will kiss down until I am taking off her pants along with her underwear…” “And then?” you breathe out.

“Kiss her sweet, soft skin…taste her. Taste how fucking good she tastes. Eat her out while she sips on her wine…”

“Oh nice.” You laugh a little.

“Make her come all over my tongue, getting her drunk on her orgasm.”

“And her wine.” You point out.

“Yes, both. After she comes, I will kiss back up her body and hold her.” Jungkook releases short breath after the other. “Make her feel wanted.”

“That does sound relaxing…”

“You like?”

“Yes.”

“Then maybe—”

“Next question is ‘What turns you on almost instantly?”

“Dirty talk.”

“I see.”

“What—”

“You have to answer too, remember?”

“My stomach being touched.” You admit. “How do you feel about toys?”

“Not against them, could be fun to try out.”

“I agree…how do you feel about blindfolds?”

“You answer first.” Jungkook says shyly.

“I’m into it.”

“Being blinded? Or blinding someone?”

“Both? Yes, both.”

“Fuck, me too.” He folds his arms behind him as he leans back further into the sofa.

“Both for you too?”

“Yes. It would be boring if I was only into one thing right?”

You laugh, “Yes, I think we think similarly.”

“Interesting.”

“Very.” You smile at him and he smirks, “Would you like to watch me touch myself?”

“Yes—”

“—Wait, like your partner, not me.” You both say at the same time.

“Oh, well yes.” Jungkook says again. “Watching your fingers travel down to your pussy, rubbing your clit…well, not you but you get my point.” He says, his breathing becoming heavy again.

“Oh. I would also like to watch you.”

“But not me.”

“Exactly.”

“Spit or swallow?”

“I like a girl who swallows.”

“I like to swallow most times and if I don’t swallow it’s because I’m letting the guy come on my face or my tits or—”

“God damn it, y/n.” Jungkook breathes out erratically. His hand goes to his crotch as he tries to hide his growing member.

“Rough or sensual?”

“Fuck. Both, definitely both.”

“I agree. Why not both all the time?” you squeeze your thighs together again as you watch Jungkook shift uncomfortably in his seat on the couch.

“Would you let me pleasure you as you drive? I mean, your partner. Sorry it’s just the way the questions read…”

“Yes. I would.”

“Seems a bit unsafe…but I would give it a try.” You say, “Do you like your hair to be pulled?” you ask with a smirk, already knowing the answer.

“Fucking love it.” He admits between heavy breaths, “But I like to pull hair too.” He winks.

“I do too, but I prefer being the one pulling.” You wink back. “Are you quiet during sex?”

“I—I don’t know…Am I?” Jungkook looks into your eyes, and you blank. Is he actually referring to the time you two had sex? Without him getting weird? “You aren’t the quietest.” You admit, “But it’s so fucking hot.”

“Well, you definitely aren’t quiet.” He says, “Can barely touch you and you’re already whimpering out.”

“Depends who the guy is.”

“Well, when it’s with me…sorry, I shouldn’t bring that up.”

“Right…” your fingers find their way into Jungkook’s hair, “But why not?”

“y/n…” he warns and you chuckle.

“What?” you decide to play innocent. “It was so long ago, Jungkook. We should be able to talk about it by now.”

But Jungkook can’t. Because although it’s almost been 4 years, it’s still so fresh for him. Not just the feeling of being inside you but the emotional shit he was feeling too.

“I’ll tell you one thing and one thing only about that night,” Jungkook decides to say, his hand goes to yours and gently places it back in your lap. “It felt so fucking good.” He whispers out and you feel all the heat in your body rush to your aching pussy.

“Oh.” You breathe out erratically. “I guess, I would have to agree.”

“Should we sleep soon?” Jungkook leans back as he asks you this.

“Don’t you want me to share one thing about that night?”

“…Sure.”

“You…felt so…good…inside me…” you say between deep breaths.

“You felt even better, y/n.”

It’s Saturday morning, and you find yourself waking up on the couch, a big blanket draped around your body and you can’t help but snuggle into it, not wanting to get up quite yet.

On the other side of the couch is a still sleeping Jungkook, his light snores filling your ears. You two didn’t even finish your wine last night, so you are waking up hang over free. The sun is shining today, it’s rays peeking through your window blinds and you want to throw the blanket over your head to hide yourself from the brightness but you decide to actually wake up and get up instead.

You throw the blanket off your body and on to Jungkook, who gratefully takes it and cuddles deeper into the covers. You stand up and head towards the bathroom to wash up, turning on a hot shower.

You wonder what you’ll be up to today, will you stay in? Go out? Hang with the girls? By the way, did they ever come home last night? You stop by Holly’s room to find it empty. Interesting, you guess they went to Trina’s.

The shower is ready for you so you slip in and let the warm water cascade over your tired body. You shampoo, condition and wash your body, when you hear insistent knowing on the bathroom door.

“y/n!!! I gotta pee!!” Jungkook’s worried voice is heard over the running water, “That’s it, I’m coming in okay?!”

And before you can respond, you hear the door being swung open and Jungkook lifting the toilet seat lid up and releasing himself. You fucking laugh. He literally says ‘Aaahhh’ for the same amount of time he is peeing.

“Fucking finally, I thought I was going to piss myself.” He says when he’s finishing up.

“Sorry.” You reply lamely. “Shower felt too good to leave.”

“Well, hurry up so we can go get something to eat. I’m so hungry!”

“Okay, okay.” And with that, Jungkook is leaving the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

You finish washing up, stepping out of the shower and drying off. You quickly leave the bathroom in just your towel to head to your bedroom. Thankfully, Jungkook is on the couch watching some show on Netflix—too busy to notice your half naked state.

You get dressed in a rush, not wanting Jungkook to wait much longer for you. You settle for some jeans and a cute yellow shirt.

“I like yellow on you.” Jungkook says when he sees you. “Pretty.”

You are sure your cheeks are turning a nice shade of red at his compliment but you cover them with your hands to hide yourself.

“Thanks JK.”