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#'death approaches' yippee!
nordicbananas · 27 days
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would you mayhaps be interested in individual pov zagreis facts or group facts
yes yes yes both ummm ummmm individual pov and then group facts please :D
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ok yeah now seems like a good time for me to get sloshed off my ass ans watch slasher movies
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clownsnake · 1 year
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reading because internet. The linguistic hyperfixation is winninnnnnngggg. ..hey did the tag limit get shorter or do I need to chill on the ranting ?
Edit: ironically all of my typos in the tags were unintentional haha
#going post#i wonder what a book with this level of research and care would look like now#the awareness of internet writing having entirely different goals from both informal speech and formal writing would be amazing to see#applied to our increasing propensity for typos#MY theory is that intentional typos (tge whay fuckign forgor etc) being used more led to a normalization of actual accidental#typos#bc now theyre funnier And convey a casual..ness. that just seems very approachable#but i will also try so fix typos when im writing more analytically or covering a serious/important topic#for the same reason i drop my other tone/personality conveying methods when covering such topics#like certain reactions: *dies to death* CRIES. YELLING N SHIDDING N FARTING. slay.#emitting words or adding unnecessary spae between a word and a punctuation mark.. . !!#and prhases. yippee! teehee.#n exageratting the severity of my tone by using bigger words for things. 'complicated machinery' instead of computer#tho i usually will keep shortening methods even when im being more serious. i think its to convey an approachanle vibe?#idk#anyway im only on chapter two but i hope that even in *checks publishing date* 2019 mcculloch got to trying to find out what the Goal of#internet writing is#if not just to convey tone or to communicate info more effectively#bc My thoughts are that its primary function is to convey personality.#call me homestuck brainpoisoned but REALLY#people pick n choose their lil... writing acts of rebellion out of an aesthetic judgement and not just 2 ~fit in~ or whatever#in the same way that an artist picks up different methods for drawing different things#to develop a style. its eclectic as hell and just kind of chosen based on personal preference#for how you want to convey your SELF. your YOU.#meanwhile ytp fans and millenials who Just Cant are on different fucking planets#anyway i hvae to stop writing now. but real quick#dont like some of the audio book pronunciations and when she voice acted teens texts. couldnt even understand what she was saying#and her pronunciation of a cat stepping on a key board was NOT long enough.#say the letters d and f a fee times out loud in between the gibberish to convey how much this cat has stepped on those keys#fffffffffffffffgkdjjfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is way different visually n emotionally from fffghhjhhhhjjd
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ankle-beez · 8 months
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Sometimes I have to be reminded that non-Sonic fans most likely see us as insane for being excited about the death of a little girl
it's funnier to say "yippee we're gonna see the little girl get shot!" than to say "shadow's backstory is one of the most beloved parts of the entire franchise and to see it being taken seriously and not shied away from reaffirms the new approach of embracing the lore of the series and taking it seriously again"
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carlyraejepsans · 5 months
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Do you have a timeline for when you believe the humans fell underground (including Chara + Frisk)?
Well not necessarily anything specific. just a few things that mark some VERY wide margings for what i have in mind
Chara fell in 201X, as per the calendar with the circled date.
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This was after the Dreemurrs (and thus monsterkind in tow) already left Home to explore the rest of the mountain and settled in New Home. This is deduced by the wall writings in Waterfall, which bemoan the underground's inaccessibility, saying there's no way a human could ever make its way down there.
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So New Home already existed (or was soon going to be founded, if the plaques were written while the monsters were still exploring) before any human had fallen into the Underground at all.
However! The childhood room in Home is referred to as Asriel's room in both the game files and in the art book (the screenshot is from the Home segment of the book)
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Which would mean Asriel was born close enough in time to the monsters' banishment to be alive when they migrated further into the caverns (and to already have personal interests, like astronomy), and that he was likely snooping around his previous home in the RUINs by chance when he found Chara.
I think Chara spent a LOT of time with the Dreemurrs... but less so chronologically. They likely had reset powers like all humans who fall into the Underground as a consequence of their high DT (from the Undertale Legends of Localization book):
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(I actually think this was the intended implication with their inappropriately light approach to death and pain, ie: laughing in that one videotape about making Asgore sick), so I like to think that, while they obviously stuck around for a long time, they techincally were only with the Dreemurrs for 1, maybe 2 linear years. Which would explain why they seem... hesitant to call them their child/sibling. From their perspective, it was too soon for those words at the time. Either that or Chara was uncomfortable with familiar terms for whatever reason. I tend to ping-pong between the two.
Chara dies and so does Asriel -> Asgore cringe comp -> Toriel bails.... And then bam, the next humans start falling down.
l think the entire affair took centuries in total. Surely a lot of time, enough for most commonplace monsters to have no idea what a human looks like
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At LEAST one century, that is, but that is the barest minimum. There's this one line in the date with Sans at MTT resort when he's talking about his first meeting with Toriel:
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Now I'm not saying Sans is aware of what's going on or that this makes incanon sense, but knowing UT's propensity for tragically poetic irony, this feels like one of those occasions.
I in my personal chronology, the humans fell either 1 or 2 per century, putting Toriel's exile between 300 and 600 years long.
The order? uhhhhh. dw about it
Thus, Frisk falls down in 2X15. Monsters are freed, everyone is happy. Yay yayay ^_^ yippee. The End.
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nightlyrequiem · 12 days
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FEED ME HYPER-FEMME READER X VALERIA!!! GIMMIE IT!!! GRAHHHH!!
then, imagine a little yippee critter foaming at the mouth. Thats me.
okay, but, in all seriousness, i absolutely NEED Valeria x like, fem, bimbo-esque, PINK!PINK!PINK reader!!!! Im going absolutely feral omg... imagine dolling urself up for this woman ... im found dead xp
-🪼
Nothing would make me happier than putting on makeup while Valeria watches, I think. I love hyperfeminity! I'm incredibly partial to skirts, dresses, and pink myself. I actually painted my nails pink last night :3
Also I don’t condone the purchasing of real fur, faux fur all the way!
Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Established Relationship
Nightshade and Peonies
You're lying on your side in your big soft bed. A satin nightgown draped over your body and leaving very few little to the imagination. Baby pink covers surround you, the soft glow from your lamps making them look peachy. Your eyes track Valeria's movements as she slowly approaches you with a box in hand. she kneels and sets it on the bed before you. A humble offering to her deity. you sit up and try to hide the giddy excitement inside of you. You're trying to appear calm and mildly disinterested but the slight curl at the corner of Valeria's lips tells you she knows what you're feeling anyway. You sat up too quickly to keep the illusion of feeling casual.
You grab the edge of the lid and lift. You can't hold back the happy smile at the sight of soft beige fur folded up neatly inside. You've been dropping hints for weeks. You carefully lift the coat out from the box and hold it up to see it in its full glory.
"Oh, Valeria, it's gorgeous!" You gush. Imagining all the outfits you can make with this. Mexico isn't the most ideal environment to own a fur coat in, but you will look so divine that it doesn't matter if you'll sweat yourself to death.
"That's the one you've been wanting?" She hums. Resting her head in her palm.
"Yes." You nod. Quivering with excitement.
You fold it back up with care and place it back into the box. You push it to the side; you'll be keeping the box too. It's a pretty off-white colour that will look so nice in your closet. You lean back in bed and finally give Valeria permission to join you. She crawls onto the bed and hovers over you. Her gaze shifting behind you.
"You have too many pillows." She remarks. Looking at the silk clad pillows, the throw pillows, the two fluffy heart shaped pillows. All arranged with a careful precision.
"I think I need more." You reply playfully.
"Yeah?" Valeria grins. leaning down to press a kiss against your lips. "I'll be your pillow." You're filled to the brim with so much dopamine and oxytocin that you don't know what to do with it. So, you move your head and bite down into her shoulder, making her flinch.
You sit up and push her onto her back.
"So, what are we going to do tomorrow?" You ask. Stradling her stomach. Valeria trails her fingers over the smooth material of your nightgown.
"I think we should go to dinner tomorrow." She replies. "I want you to wear that little pink dress."
"Which pink dress?" You ask. Valeria needs to be more specific because you own quite a few pink dresses.
"The really light pink one... the backless one." She clarifies. You smile. Valeria could never keep her eyes or hands off of you whenever you wore that dress. Tight, lowcut, and short with subtle ruffling at the bottom.
Valeria looks so pretty laying there with her hair sprawled out. it makes you want to bite her again. You're excited by the idea of going out to eat too. Valeria is always taking you on little dates but you're never not excited. You'd show as much enthusiasm for rock climbing as you would for slow dancing. You'd doll yourself up in a pink outfit, put on makeup, and enjoy your time with Valeria.
"The backless one." You repeat. An outfit is forming in your head. You're also thinking of what colour you should paint your nails. Pink is an obvious choice but there's many shades to choose from. You could also do white. Or a sultry cherry red. You zone out as you think critically. You have this delicious white tiara that would look so cute with the dress. Shiny white platform heels would match with the tiara.
Then you remember the coat. You scrap the tiara idea and decide to wear the coat with it. But what heels should you wear?
"Hey." Valeria says. Grabbing your jaw. "What's going on inside that head of yours, hm?" Her hand is warm and comforting.
"I'm thinking of what to wear with the dress, I want to wear my new coat, but I don't know what heels to wear with it." You explain. You have a pair of pink heels that are the same shade as the dress, but you aren't sure if that will throw off the balance.
Valeria gently pulls your face down to give you a short kiss.
"You're thinking too hard." She murmurs. "What about those cheetah print ones?" You consider it. The fur coat isn't an animal pattern. The cheetah shoes would not match at all.
"No, those don't go with it at all." You sigh.
"Oh, my poor baby." Valeria coos. "Your life is so hard; I can't imagine having to find the strength to match your shoes to your top." You playfully swat her shoulder.
"This is serious, I need to look good." You huff.
"You'll look good no matter what." She says. Making you lay down next to her. "You'll figure it out, don't stress yourself."
You sat at your little white vanity the next night, carefully applying a rosy, pink lipstick. Your makeup is almost finished, glittery eyeshadow peeks out from your eyelids. Valeria is laying back in your bed behind you, you can see her watching in the reflection of the mirror. You'd think she'd look out of place among the baby pink sheets if you didn't already know she had matching ones at home. Valeria once told you that she loves watching you get ready. To her, watching you doll yourself up is an act of intimacy in itself. A dainty necklace decorates your throat, the small white jewel glinting from just above your amplified cleavage. You dab a little concealer around your lips to clean them up a bit then stand. You turn and give Valeria a little spin, showing off for her. You decided to forgo the coat. A decision you didn't make lightly.
She gives you a little wolf-whistle and you grin in return. practically glowing with pleasure.
"Beautiful." She speaks.
"You say that every time." You reply, still grinning. she gently grabs your hand and kisses your palm.
"And I mean it every time." She pushes up off the bed.
She walks towards your closet and retrieves the pink heels that match your dress perfectly. You glance at the coat longingly. You'll wear it the next time you go out, you silently vow. Valeria chivalrously puts on the heals for you. Holding your ankles with care, thumb running over the little gold ankle bracelet. You stand, a few inches taller than her though neither of you mind and eagerly stride around the room. Putting all the things you need into your tiny little bedazzled handbag. Lipstick and lip-gloss, mascara, and a small compact mirror. You grab Valeria's hand and drag her outside. forcing her to keep up with your energetic stride.
The restaurant is in the next town over. You sit in the passenger seat, looking out of place inside the dark interior. Although little touches of you are placed around the car. A tube of lipstick is in the glovebox. A little handmade pink and gold charm dangles from the rear-view mirror. She has a hand on your thigh while she drives. 
The restaurant is nice and lowkey. Hanging paper lanterns provide a welcoming, dim glow. Your exaggerated feminine appearance garners a few looks but nobody comes up to bother you. She pulls out your chair for you and you sit down, looking around and taking in the place. It isn't all that modern inside. The tables and chairs are old, there aren't any TVs on the walls. It's a charming little establishment. You and Valeria order your food and wait. Speaking to each other in low, engaged voices. You excitedly ramble about clothing and makeup and colour theory. About all the ways to style animal prints and different patterns. Valeria listens with rapt attention. Adoring you in such a passionate state.
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thebusytypewriter · 9 months
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hello hello congrats on the followers!! for the event could i request a long kamukura x reader fic where he’s basically baby duck imprinted on reader? i imagine that after being locked in a cell and mistreated by hopes peak even an iota of basic human kindness has him clinging
YIPPEE I've been brainrotting about this one for AGES I'm so sorry for the wait anon!! I'm also sorry that you were probably expecting fluff with this and while there is some, uhhhh........... angstnohappyendOKAYENJOYBYE--
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No, I’m not falling for you
So please have mercy on me
The night of the Tragedy—the first one—you were there. That was something Izuru Kamukura didn’t expect.
You weren’t exactly there, not in the classroom where it all went down; things would’ve been much different if you were. No, you were some Reserve Course student who’d found their way just outside of the Main Course gates past curfew.
In fact, it was well past that point, nearly midnight by then. Enoshima had yet to return from her place in the security office, Ikusaba likely with her. This left Kamukura alone outside to ponder what had just transpired.
The gruesome deaths of the thirteen Ultimate students replayed over and over within his perfect memory, everything from gunshot to impaling to chainsaw. He’d expected each and every one of them to turn away from Enoshima’s “motives,” since innocent lives logically outweighed petty hearsay, no matter how damaging it would be.
Such intense emotion on their faces when first attacks were made… He couldn’t understand it.
Wind whistled past his stony face as he strolled, the force tossing around his hair in every direction. Even if he had the capacity to care about it, he wouldn’t. There were far more pressing things to worry about.
The sound of rubber soles on stone alerted him to an approaching individual, so Kamukura swiftly moved behind one of the few trees lining the outer wall and watched.
You were far out of dress code for a Reserve Course student, but he figured that you didn’t care with it being after hours. A large hoodie covered you, engulfing your upper half in the softest fabric he’d ever seen, and your yoga pants were just as large and cozy-looking. The only thing that indicated you as part of the Reserve Course was the student ID faintly peeking out from under your collar.
He could see the bags under your eyes from his place a dozen feet away, and the slouch in your walk alerted his health-related talents of your likely insomnia.
“Hello?” you called out, almost timidly, not too soft to go unheard but not too loud to alert any remaining security. “I was just out for a walk when I, um, heard you. I know it’s late, I just want to make sure you’re okay. It’s not a good idea to leave Main Course grounds after dark, okay?”
Kamukura faintly wondered if you’d ever had a chance of being an Ultimate regarding empathy or safety. It would suit you.
“I go here,” you continued, “so don’t worry, I just want to help.”
His nail lightly scratched at the tree’s bark in contemplation. Two abnormal events in the same night… Perhaps he couldn’t let that go.
Letting his definitive steps announce his presence, Kamukura stepped out and into the dull light of the street lamps. He said nothing and simply blinked at you.
You inhaled sharply, clearly startled as you caught sight of him. There was only a brief moment of panic in your eyes before it switched over to concern, your gaze locking on something just below his own, slightly to his right. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
Ah. In the excitement of your arrival, he’d forgotten about the bullet graze wound across his cheek. He raised a hand and felt around the area, unsurprised to find it mostly still wet with blood. “And why would you be concerned about me? You’ll get nothing in return.”
“Nothing in…?” Your brow pinched further, now from both concern and confusion. “Dude, you’re bleeding. Like a lot. Like you might need stitches.”
“No. I’ll apply some disinfectant shortly, and it’ll heal just fine. You should be more concerned with your own safety, being out this late at night, instead of fussing over a stranger.”
“I-I’m not fussing,” you argued, cheeks now puffing out in your annoyance.
You reminded him of a chipmunk.
Cute.
Something in him halted at the thought before reassuring himself that it was simply fact. There were no opinions within him. You were being kind to him, that was all. It was… unfamiliar.
Unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.
“Oh!” Your voice pulled him from his thoughts. “How rude of me. I didn’t even introduce myself.” With a statement of your name—something he already knew from observing your student ID—you extended a hand while asking for his own.
In a handful of milliseconds, he considered what to tell you. He could tell you nothing and walk away, leaving you out of the insanity but leaving this odd new itch behind. He could tell you Kamukura, but there were far too many things attached to that name on Hope’s Peak campus. You were Reserve Course, not stupid. 
“Call me Izuru,” he stated. “For your safety, I’ll leave it at that.”
Your eyebrows shot up to your hairline. “Ah… okay? Nice to meet you then, Izuru.”
“You as well.”
“Aaaand your reason for being out here…?”
“Nightly walk.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but you didn’t need to know that. “I was in the process of returning to my quarters when you appeared. I am in no danger, I assure you.”
You nodded, hesitant but understanding. “Gotcha. Well… just be careful, okay? There are some real weirdos out here at night.”
The irony of your statement almost made him laugh. Almost. “I understand, thank you. Would you like an escort back to the Reserve Course dormitory?”
“Oh, uh, no thanks. Pepper spray’s got my back.”
“If you insist. Good night, then.” Kamukura gave the slightest of bows before turning to reenter the Main Course grounds and rendezvous with Enoshima. Your return of the phrase met his ears, but he continued on.
He tried not to feel your gaze boring into his back as he did so.
He tried not to look back when he heard your footsteps retreat.
Izuru Kamukura failed for the first and second time that night.
‘Cause it’s not romantic, I swear
I’m not gasping for air
After moving from one underground bunker to another, Kamukura quickly found himself to be once again bored out of his mind. The only thing that kept his attention, that lingered in his mind, was you.
He’d never seen your face among the rioters from newsfeed alone, leading him to the conclusion that you were abstaining from it all. You were safe, presumably. Given how kind you were to him when you met, he decided that you deserved it—the safety from Despair. Someone like you needed to be protected.
And yet, he still thought about what it would be like for you to stay in that bunker with him. Kamukura wasn’t alone there, of course not; among its occupants was Enoshima, Ikusaba, Mitarai, and the nurse that was dragged in—Tsumiki. Of these, Enoshima was the only one who engaged in conversation with him, as one-sided as it was, and as annoying as she was.
Despite himself, despite his programming, Kamukura missed you.
He knew that Enoshima had noticed his change of demeanor after that night. He knew that she’d look into what happened, badgering him until she inevitably gave up.
What he didn’t know was how invested she’d be in the situation.
In the midst of his purusing old documents within the bunker, he was met with the sound of Enoshima’s delighted hum growing closer… then farther. It was odd. There weren’t many rooms in the bunker, and there were even fewer rooms that Junko Enoshima herself would enter. If they were dirty, she sent Ikusaba in. If they were hazardous, she sent Tsumiki in.
So where was she going?
Damn it, his interest was piqued.
Cautiously and quietly, Kamukura followed the Ultimate Despair down a corridor he’d never seen her traverse before. She hummed the whole way, a slight bounce in her step, before stopping at a closed iron door. It had a small square window at head level, but that seemed to be the only way one could see in or out of the room. Enoshima slid the massive bar lock out of place and pushed her way inside, letting the door close behind her.
He stalked up to the solid barrier and peered through the window, careful not to let more of himself show than what was unavoidable. As Kamukura’s gaze settled on the pigtailed frame he’d watched enter, her voice met his ears.
“Just checkin’ on ya, sweetheart! Can’t have you dying on me just yet, right? You just got here!”
Then, a second voice followed hers, one that made his blood run cold.
“I-I think you’ve got the wrong person,” you stammered, teeth audibly clacking together in the cold concrete room. “I don’t know who you are, I don’t know why you brought me here, I haven’t done anything wrong—”
“Of course not, silly!” Enoshima strode forward in faux contemplation, manicured hands clasped behind her back. “Consider this a… witness care program. We take care of our witnesses!”
With the Despair’s movement, Kamukura was able to get a full view of you. You were still in your pajamas, just a tank top and fuzzy pants, implying that you’d been abducted either in your room or within the dorm in general. Your feet were bare and pale—borderline blue—against the gray floor. (He understood then why you were shivering.) From that angle, he was able to notice your hands wrenched behind your back as you sat by a pole, and he deduced that Enoshima—or maybe Ikusaba—had tied you to said pole to restrict movement. How cliche.
“Witness care?” You blinked, fluorescent light sparkling in your eyes. “So you’re protecting me then?”
“Well, aren’t you just a little ray of hope?” Enoshima reached out and pitched your cheek with enthusiasm. “Cutie pie! I could just eat you up!” Her grin dropped abruptly, and Kamukura saw a few little beads of blood spring up on your skin where she held you. “…And then I would immediately vomit. Your gross little rainbows and sparkles make me sick, y’hear me? What the hell does a god like Kamukura see in a worthless Reserve Course chump?”
Your brow furrowed. “I’m sorry, who’s… Kamukura? Like, the founder of Hope’s Peak?”
“No, silly,” she snorted. “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. The one you met a few days ago. What exactly did he say his name was?”
He watched your mouth open to answer, then slowly close as you appeared to connect the dots she’d presented. Your response came out quiet and disbelieving. “…Izuru.”
Enoshima’s free hand flew up in mocking celebration. “Give the kid a prize! This might come as a shock to you—who am I kidding, it so will—but the Izuru Kamukura you talked to is a lab experiment gone horrifically right. He’s a god among men, the Ultimate Hope. And that makes it all the more confusing as to why he’s chosen to latch onto you of all people. Kinda silly if you ask me.”
Much to his odd delight, all traces of fear left your face at the statement, and you snarled at her. “Well if you admire him so much, then why does it sound to me like you’re doubting his judgment? I’ll be sure to let him know when I see him next. Whose word will he believe—mine or yours?”
Enoshima’s hand ripped away as she recoiled. “Ugh! God, you’d get along really well with the know-it-all detective in my class. Keep holding your head up like that, and you’re ten times more likely to get smacked by a bat. It’s just statistics!”
The twitch of your brow betrayed your returning terror.
“Anyway,” she drew out, “I wouldn’t get comfy, m’kay? Even though you’re here as a present for my beloved Kamukura, I still have an agenda. Maybe look up the phrase ‘take care of’ in the dictionary! Oh, wait, you can’t do that here. Hm! Your problem, not mine.”
Kamukura ducked out of the window just as Enoshima turned, forgoing the remainder of the conversation to preserve his assumed innocence. In his brisk return down the hallway, he felt an odd tingling sensation rising from the midst of his throat all the way to his skull. It reminded him of an ant colony, one that disturbed the neutrality within him.
He then noticed how tense his brow had been the entire time. How clenched his fists were. How much he itched to burst through the door and rescue your kind self from Despair incarnate.
Some Ultimate Psychologist within him ticked off some boxes and raised a finger to share the new discovery, but he ignored it.
He had to.
The Ultimate Hope did not get attached.
I want you to be here, but please don’t come near
‘Cause even though I’m pretty sure my head’s exploding
I’m not ready for hand holding
Kamukura was attached.
Within the couple of weeks between his discovery of your presence—when he was sure that Enoshima and Ikusaba weren’t in the bunker, and Mitarai and Tsumiki were stationed in the former’s workspace—he often found himself visiting you.
The first time he made an appearance and explained what he could, he’d been expecting your immediate response.
“So you’ll let me go?”
He shook his head. “As much as I am of the mind that you should be given your freedom, there is a strong chance Enoshima may just hunt you down again and kill you. A far from ideal outcome, wouldn’t you agree?”
You did, and he was relieved.
…What?
Ah, yes. That was the recurring problem around you; Kamukura found himself feeling things. At first, he was convinced that he could become desensitized by visiting you more. It only made things worse. He got to know you then, all your hobbies and quirks and everything that made you unique in his eyes.
Not to mention your kindness. God, all the harsh interactions with immoral scientist after immoral scientist made him realize how truly important you were.
You invaded all of his waking thoughts, and Kamukura expected that he was doing a good job at hiding it.
He was created to have perfect judgment.
It’s not love, I swear
“Oh, Kamukura darling! I have a surprise for you!”
He let himself sigh as he turned from his absentminded file browsing to meet Enoshima’s wide grin. “I have no interest in your presents.” Not to mention he already knew to whom she was referring.
The grin flipped on a dime to a childish pout. “You don’t have to be so mean about it! And here I thought you’d actually like this one.”
“If you’re going to pester me about this surprise regardless, then I suppose I have little choice. Get on with it.”
Enoshima immediately perked up again, much like a dog whose master said the word ‘treat’ aloud. (What a hellish dog the Ultimate Despair would make, Kamukura thought to himself. He’d have to tell you that one later.) “Okie dokie! You’re gonna love it.”
“Doubtful. I am incapable of love.”
Incapability, the Ultimate Dictionary part of him said, is another word for inability, which is the lack of ability to do something. Denial is an unwillingness to accept that something is true.
He stubbornly shoved the thought away and followed behind the bouncing girl.
Love clouds even the most objectively perfect judgment.
They continued on to a section of the bunker that Kamukura was slightly less familiar with, as it was usually occupied by the other inhabitants, and he wasn’t one to socialize with them. (He wasn’t one to socialize with Enoshima, either, but she forced it upon him.) At some time, he’d heard the sounds of panic and stress echoing from that same direction, but it was her business, not his. It appeared that it was about to be his business, though.
Enoshima led him into an offshoot of the main hallway, her deranged humming increasing as they moved. It was never a good sign when she was so pleased.
The distorted music he’d listened to her perfect met his ears, laced with the edited screams of Ultimate students. Why was she playing the Despair-inducing video? Was there a “guest” he wasn’t aware of?
…Wait.
There would be.
If he wasn’t already aware of them.
“You’ve been so pressed over the battle of Hope and Despair, and I wanted to help you along—” Enoshima pushed a door open, and the sounds became clearer— “so you get to see Despair in action!”
A dim concrete room greeted the two of them, bathed only in the flashing lights and red glow of her video. In the center, a single chair sat askew with what appeared to be leather straps dangling from its arms and legs. The quick inspection with his Ultimate Analyst talent revealed a lack of tears in the leather outside of the usual signs of torture—fraying and scuffing. The occupant didn’t escape their containment, but they were released.
Speaking of, Kamukura’s gaze fell upon a figure settled on the floor, head pressed against their knees. It was reminiscent of a traditional Japanese deep bow—zarei, that is—but they were tense, shaking. Their hands dug into their hair and pulled against their scalp in this panicked manner, and that wasn’t even the part that set him off.
This figure, the victim of Junko Enoshima’s Despair-inducing video, was you.
“Turn it off.”
“Eh?”
His fist closed around Enoshima’s throat and tugged her close in an instant, dragging a garbled noise of surprise from her. “Turn the video off, or I will do it myself.”
Her eyes were wide at this new display, one he himself was quite unsure about, and she burst out in startled laughter. “Woooow! Okay, Mr. Assertive! It’s done the job anyway. This was mostly just for theatrics and funsies, to give a little pizzazz to your present—Hey, are you even listening?”
Kamukura was not. Oh, how he thought about bashing in her head at that moment. It would be quick and effortless on his part, ultimately ridding the world of her sick plan. But Enoshima wasn’t his priority; he was already crossing the floor toward your crumpled form, an uncharacteristically-loud heartbeat pounding in his ears. Odds of your being unharmed were slim, to say the least, and only dropping every second you didn’t move, but he called upon his Ultimate Luck to combat them.
Pristine black dress pants rubbed against the concrete as he settled on his knees next to you. Kamukura’s hand hovered over your back while he debated on the best course of action. What would he do if you were lost? Could he bring himself to hand you over to Enoshima, or would he go directly against her to repair a broken mind? Was it even possible for him to do such a thing?
Might still be in shock, he reminded himself. It was entirely possible that Enoshima had been bluffing. You were fine.
You had to be.
He let his hand run over your spine once. Twice. You remained, head pressed to your knees, though you shuddered at the touch.
Just ahead, the Despair-inducing video clicked off. Finally. He shot a glare at Enoshima and, by virtue of her sudden appearance, Ikusaba. Additionally, Tsumiki appeared to be peeking in from the doorway, and her twisted smile did nothing to calm his anxieties.
…Anxieties? The Ultimate Psychologist in his head once again raised a finger to say I told you so, but he ignored it.
Kamukura called for you, quietly at first. When he received no answer, he tried again, louder.
Something finally spilled from your lips, unintelligible and hushed. He wondered for a moment if what he felt at the sound was hope, but it quickly snapped away as your garbled noises continued and then transitioned into an objectively worse sound.
You were laughing.
No, you were crying.
It was both. You were hysterical.
Finally, finally, you sat up, and the “no signal” screen previously playing that maddening video kept your face under an eerie red light. The color illuminated the teartracks down your cheeks, and his heart clenched. Your gaze met his, and it sank.
Those kind eyes, the ones that made him feel warm, feel anything… were hazy and unfocused. The smile that set off the butterflies in his stomach, however few they were, twisted with insanity.
Tainted.
She’d broken you.
You. The one good thing in this spiraling world.
Kamukura cupped your cheek as you giggled something about his expression. He didn’t care to listen. He ran through the possible ways of repairing your mind and found that the list was both shorter and less possible than he’d initially thought. Human beings are fragile creatures, he reminded himself. You can’t hold one too tightly, or else it’ll hurt more when they break.
Perhaps this wasn’t what Enoshima had meant by seeing her work in action, but it got the point across.
His tears fell alongside yours.
It might be closer to Despair . . .
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moeitsu · 2 months
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The Tie Which Linked My Soul To Thee
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Ch 18 - To Hear the Distant Church Bells Chime
Summary: The gang finds a new hideout at Shady Belle, just outside the heart of the new modern America. With Jack still missing, Kate and Arthur must work together to find him. Amidst the tension, Arthur confides in Kate about his deepest regrets.
Ao3  Wattpad Masterlist - All Chapters   Previous Chapter /
A/N: 9.5k words yippee! Not gonna lie gang, I'm really proud of this one. So many feels. So many emotions. Little disclaimer, when I talk about Arthurs past, I am not following the canon events. I've changed the details to suit the story. Anyways, I'm so glad to be able to share this and not make you wait another two months (oopsie)
Tag List: @photo1030 @ariacherie @thatweirdcatlady @ultraporcelainpig @marygillisapologist @eternalsams @lunawolfclaw 
**please let me know if you would like to be tagged in future chapters!
StoryTags: Widowed, Original Character(s), High-Honor!Arthur Morgan, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Arthur Morgan Deserves Happiness, Chubby!Arthur Morgan, Canon Divergence, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Eventual Smut, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Emotional Sex, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort,Touch-Starved, Sexual Tension, Friends to Lovers, Child Loss, Infant Death, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Torture, Blood and Violence, Survivor Guilt, Aftermath of Torture, Caretaking, Injury Recovery, Period-Typical Racism, Anxiety, Self-Hatred, Night Terrors, Emotional Constipation, Self-Doubt, Men Crying, Bathing/Washing, Sweet/Hot, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff
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As the sun began to set, casting long shadows over the dense swamps of Lemoyne, the gang found themselves approaching their new hideout—Shady Belle. The journey had been grueling, filled with the constant threat of pursuit and the weight of recent tragedies. They had to pack quickly, and unfortunately had to leave things behind in the rush. Now, as they rode up to the dilapidated manor, a sense of uneasy relief washed over them. Physical and mental exhaustion settled into their bones as they took in the site of their new “home”.
Shady Belle was a far cry from the relative peace of Clemens Point. The old plantation house stood partially reclaimed by the swamp, its once-grand façade now crumbling and overgrown with ivy. The windows were shattered, and the wooden walls were rotting, giving the manor an eerie, haunted appearance. A thick fog clung to the ground, swirling around their horses' hooves as they approached. Even as the moon began its ascent, the sun retiring after another long day, the humidity clung to the air like thistles. The dry fever of western Lemoyne was replaced with a sweltering sticky heat from the southern swamps. 
The surrounding grounds were equally foreboding. Gnarled trees twisted upwards, their branches draped with Spanish moss that hung like ghostly curtains. The stagnant water of the nearby bayou reflected the deepening twilight, and the air was thick with the hum of insects and the distant croaking of frogs. It was a place that seemed to whisper of long-forgotten secrets and unseen dangers lurking just beyond the shadows. The cover over the bayou would keep them hidden, but the single path leading to the manor meant it would be difficult to escape if they were ambushed. 
Arthur and John were waiting for the gang upon their arrival. Having cleared out the space per Dutch's commands. It was a quick, bloody battle. The old manor had been claimed by squatters and drunks. Homeless people just looking for a roof over their head and a place to rest. There was no time for negotiation, and so they opened fire. They had just cleared the last of the bodies as the sound of hooves and wagons approached them. 
“Welcome to my humble abode!” Arthur called out with a hint of mockery and sarcasm. “If you can ignore the corpses and the alligators. It's practically paradise.” 
Dutch dismounted and surveyed the scene, his keen eyes scanning for any immediate threats. He motioned for the others to spread out and park the wagons by the front. Approaching Arthur and John with a confident smile, “nice work boys.” He turned back towards the chuck wagon, “Ms. Grimshaw, Mr. Pearson,” he addressed. “Work your magic if you’d please.” The two dismounted from the wagon with a nod and began unloading supplies. 
Dutch strode up the creaking steps to the front porch. The door hung loosely on its hinges, and with a firm push, he swung it open, revealing the dim interior. Dust motes danced in the fading light, and the musty smell of decay permeated the air. The once-opulent hallways were now lined with peeling wallpaper and broken furniture, evidence of years of neglect and abandonment.
Inside, the gang fanned out to explore their new home. Javier and Bill took to the upper floors, their footsteps echoing through the empty corridors. Lenny and Charles headed towards the back of the house, checking the kitchens and servant quarters. Meanwhile, Arthur and John remained outside to help unload their wagons. 
Kate lingered near the entrance, her eyes drawn to the remnants of what was once a grand chandelier, now shattered and strewn across the floor. She felt a shiver run down her spine, the oppressive atmosphere of the place seeping into her bones. Sadie stood beside her, brows knitted together with uncertainty.
“This place gives me the creeps,” Sadie whispered, her voice carrying a hint of doubt.
Kate nodded, “It’s not ideal, but it’ll have to do. At least we’re out of danger, for now.” 
As the gang settled in, Dutch gathered them in the main courtyard around a broken and withered fountain. “This ain’t much, but it’s ours for the time being,” he said, his voice echoing from the front steps. “We’ll make do. We always have.”
Arthur glanced around the group, noting the weary expressions and the unspoken fears. Shady Belle might provide them with temporary refuge, but the looming threat of Bronte and Jack, and the relentless pursuit of the Pinkertons weighed heavily on them all. His eyes found Kate’s amongst the crowd, she was watching him instead of paying attention to Dutch. Arthur was relieved that she didn’t leave, regretting his previous words to her almost as soon as he said them. But his duty and his ego stopped him from turning around and apologizing right then and there. He desperately needed to talk to her, he had let his anger and anxiety take hold of him. As the crowd began to disperse he was ready to approach her, when he heard his name called from the small dock jutting out into the water. It was John. 
Arthur sighed, Jack was still their top priority. His time with Kate would have to wait for another day. As he left the scene he noticed Ms. Grimshaw handed her a crate, she would be occupied with her own tasks anyhow. 
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“This is crazy, right? Tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this whole thing is crazy,” John sputtered, pacing the rotting wooden dock as Arthur approached.
The small wooden fishing bench called his name, and Arthur sat down with a weary sigh. He felt so tired, so drained, and so old. The years of running were catching up to him. “It’s gonna be alright, John.”
“We should be going after Jack!” John exclaimed, his voice laced with frustration.
“We will. As soon as everyone is safe and settled in. We need to be careful. Milton is coming back, and he’ll bring an army with him,” Arthur explained. “Jack will be alright. We’re no use to him dead.”
John sighed, defeated, and took the seat next to Arthur. He pulled out a cigarette and lit the match with the tip of his boot. After a long drag, he passed the burning tobacco to his elder brother. “I don't even know what to think anymore.”
Arthur nodded and accepted the cigarette, taking a slow drag and letting the smoke pool around them in a cloud. “I know, but we gotta be smart about this.”
John scoffed. “Smart? Are you joking? We stirred up so much trouble and drew ‘em right to us again! How many people have we killed in the past week?”
Arthur ran a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of their actions. “Far too many, I reckon.”
“I’m tired of Dutch’s games, Hosea’s too. ‘Master con men’ my ass. They’re getting old and running out of ideas. Why should we suffer for it?” John said bitterly.
“Watch your mouth, Marston,” Arthur shot him a warning glare. “They thought those families were sitting on gold. I don’t know what else to tell you. Things don’t always work out—”
“Yeah, they thought there was money,” John interrupted. “Ain’t this always about money? And yet we never seem to have any!”
Arthur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as John stood up abruptly. “Jack’s gone. Sean’s dead, Mac, Davey, Jenny. All of this death, and for what?”
John was beginning to sound like Kate, and Arthur understood why she had joined him on their revenge mission. “We can’t change what’s done. We can only move on.”
“We need to start learning from our mistakes. We need to leave,” John said with confidence. “After we get Jack. My family, you, and Kate. We high tail.”
“We’ve had a rocky run, but it ain’t all bad. Dutch has a plan—” Arthur tried to make his brother see reason and logic. Running away wasn't going to be easy on their own, and they had the whole gang to take care of.
“This whole plan is a goddamn mess! Dutch keeps gettin’ us into worse trouble! You nearly died because he was too ignorant to see he was being set up.”
Arthur rose from his seat and pointed an accusatory finger at his brother. “And I hear you decided to take care of that little problem. Maybe if you hadn’t left, Jack wouldn’t be gone!” John swallowed and narrowed his gaze.
“You could have gotten yourself killed, Marston. Or worse. You keep this up, and you’ll never make it out alive.” Arthur shoved past him, intending to leave with those words.
He had heard enough. The situation gnawed at him. John and Kate were right, and he knew it, but he couldn’t bring himself to go against Dutch. He had to have faith that things would work out, that he would see them through this. Dutch had always taken care of them, since the day he found them when they were children.
“I know Kate broke your promise,” John said slowly. Arthur stopped in his tracks. “I asked her to. And she fought unlike any woman I’ve seen before.” A moment of silence passed between them, sweat running down Arthur’s neck and tickling his spine.
“I don’t know what she sees in you, Morgan, but she loves you something fierce,” John said finally.
Red. Arthur’s vision went red. Images of a woman long gone flashed before his eyes, letters of love burning in a fire. Memories of his past mingled with his present, the pain and guilt intermingling in a relentless assault on his senses.
He whirled around and shoved John back harshly, nearly pushing him into the water. “You don’t know a goddamn thing about Kate!” he shouted, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions.
John’s eyes darkened, but he held his ground. “I know you're terrified she’ll end up like Eliza,” he said, adding salt to the wound he knew he was reopening.
“You have the chance to do this differently, Arthur. Think about that.” This time John was the one to push past Arthur, making his way back into the bustling camp as everyone continued to unpack.
Arthur took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. Grief and regret flooded over him, each memory of Eliza and Isaac tearing at his heart. He longed for Kate’s comfort, her presence more than anything. Her words always filled him with reassurance, grounding him in a way nothing else could. She might be the only woman who truly understood him. And yet he knew he couldn’t face her now, not after what he said. And all the words that still remained unsaid, the truth about Eliza and Isaac.
He willed the memories to leave, but they haunted him and pressed down on his soul like a heavy weight. He remembered Eliza’s gentle smile, the way she cradled Isaac in her arms, the hope that they had kindled together only to have it brutally extinguished. The regret of not being there, not protecting them, tore at him every day. The fear of losing Kate the same way gnawed at his heart, driving him to the brink of despair.
Arthur pulled out another cigarette, lighting it with a shaky hand. He sat back down on the rotting bench, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. The sound of cicadas and tree frogs filled the air, a stark contrast to the turmoil within him. He closed his eyes, trying to find some semblance of peace in the night sounds of their new hideout. But the pain, the fear, and the unspoken words lingered, wrapping around his heart like a vice, leaving him to grapple with his demons in the stillness of the night.
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Saint Denis was a world away from the rugged, untamed wilderness that the gang was used to. It was a bustling city, teeming with life and activity at all hours of the day and night. The streets were lined with tall, elegant buildings, their facades adorned with intricate ironwork and ornate detailing. Electric lamps illuminated the sidewalks, casting a warm glow that contrasted sharply with the cool, modernity of the city. The cobblestone streets were filled with carriages, horses, and pedestrians, all moving in a chaotic but oddly harmonious dance. The distant ring of the trolly cart could be heard as it made frequent stops at every main intersection. 
The air was thick with the scents of the city – the sweet aroma of freshly baked bread from the bakeries, the pungent smell of horse manure, and the ever-present tang of coal smoke from the factories. Street vendors hawked their wares, calling out to passersby with promises of the finest goods and the best prices. The sounds of the city were equally overwhelming – the clatter of hooves on cobblestones, the murmur of conversations, the clanging of streetcars, and the distant wail of a train whistle.
Kate had joined Arthur, Dutch, John, and Charles in their search for Angelo Bronte, the elusive figure who held the key to Jack’s whereabouts. Despite the fight they had, Arthur didn’t protest her presence. The tension between them was palpable, but there was an unspoken understanding that the mission at hand was more important than their personal grievances.
Dutch halted the group at the small central park in Saint Denis, the sprawling city looming around them with its grand architecture and bustling streets. The cacophony of voices and the distant hum of machinery filled the air. The scent of smoke and industry mingled with the aroma of street food vendors, creating a sensory overload that was both thrilling and overwhelming.
“Alright, we split up,” Dutch ordered, his eyes scanning the faces of his small posse. “We need to find Bronte’s whereabouts. Ask around, see if anyone knows anything. Be discreet, but don’t waste time.”
Kate nodded, her heart pounding with a mix of anxiety and determination. The city felt like a labyrinth, each turn leading to more questions and fewer answers. She glanced a look at Arthur, their eyes meeting briefly. She saw a flicker of concern in his gaze, before he nodded and left. 
Kate set off down a side street, the sound of her boots echoing on the cobblestones. The city was alive with activity, children laughing and playing, and people bustling about their daily lives. It was a stark contrast to the quiet desperation that had settled over their camp.
She approached various shops and vendors and asked about a man named Bronte. Most of them ignored her questions, opting to try and convince her to buy their goods. Some merchants gave her a weary look at the mention of his name, and informed her that they don’t want to get involved. Their demeanor suggested that this Bronte man was dangerous, and this mission may be bigger than they realized. 
As she walked, a distant sound caught her attention—church bells, their clear, melodic tones cutting through the noise of the city. Drawn by the sound, Kate followed the bells, winding her way through the streets until she reached a grand cathedral. Its towering spires reached towards the heavens, the stones adorned with intricate carvings and stained glass windows that glinted in the sunlight. It reminded her of the church back in Boston, the one her catholic mother would bring the whole family to for Sunday worship. It had been so long since Kate attended church, after her mother passed, her father never kept up with religion. 
The ringing bells announced the joining of two souls in marriage, their song filling the air with a sense of celebration and hope. Kate stood at the entrance, watching as the wedding party gathered on the steps. The bride, radiant in her white gown, and the groom, beaming with pride, were surrounded by family and friends, their laughter and joy a stark contrast to the sorrow in Kate’s heart.
She closed her eyes, the memories of her own wedding day flooding back. The scent of blooming flowers, the sound of her family’s laughter, and the feel of her husband’s hand in hers. She remembered the warmth of his embrace, the way he looked at her with so much love. But those days were long gone, stolen away by the harsh realities of life. Her family was gone, her husband and child lost to the world of chaos that seemed to follow her every step. She missed them all fiercely, the pain of their absence a constant ache in her heart.
Drawing in a deep breath, Kate squared her shoulders. She couldn’t afford to dwell on the past, not when there was so much at stake. The bells continued to ring, a reminder of what she had lost, but also a beacon of hope for what she could still protect.
As she rejoined the bustling streets of Saint Denis, she kept her ears open and her eyes sharp, ready to follow any lead that would bring them closer to Angelo Bronte and the answers they desperately needed.
Kate navigated through the narrow streets of Saint Denis, her eyes scanning the faces of passersby for any hint of familiarity or recognition. The city’s vibrant energy of the city was distracting but she remained focused on the task at hand. The distant sound of the church bells still echoed in her ears. 
As she turned down a side street, a sudden blur of comotion caught her attention. A young boy, no older than twelve, sprinted past her, nearly knocking her over. He clutched something tightly to his chest, his eyes wide with fear and determination.
"Hey!" Kate called out, but the boy didn’t stop. Moments later, Arthur came barreling down the street, his face a mix of frustration and urgency. He was limping slightly, favoring his uninjured ankle.
"You little shit!" he shouted, breathless, "I’ll kill you ya thieving bastard!" Arthur ran past Kate and darted down the alley after the young boy. 
Without a moment’s hesitation, Kate sprinted after the boy, her boots echoing in the narrow alley. She could hear Arthur’s labored breathing behind her, pushing through the pain to keep up. The boy was fast, weaving through the crowd with the agility of a street urchin well-versed in the art of escape. Kate spotted an alleyway ahead and made a split-second decision. She darted down the narrow passage, hoping to cut the boy off.
The alley was dimly lit and cluttered with discarded crates and barrels, but she navigated it with ease. As she emerged on the other side, she saw the boy racing towards her. He didn’t notice her until it was too late, running straight into her towering figure.
Kate gripped the boy's shoulders tightly, enough to warn him without causing harm. He looked up at her, eyes wide with shock and fear.
“I believe you took something that belongs to my friend,” she said calmly. “Hand it over. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Arthur finally caught up to them, breathing hard as he leaned against the stone archway when he saw Kate. “Goddamn rotten bastard,” he growled, pushing off the wall and approaching them.
The young boy looked back and stuttered, “I-I was only playing mister, I swear!” He threw the satchel to the ground at Arthur’s feet, trying to worm his way out of Kate’s grasp. He struggled as she tightened her hold.
“Please let me go Miss, I-I’m sorry!”
“Fuckin' right you’re sorry,” Arthur mumbled, picking up his things. “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill ya right here.” He spat.
Kate shot him a vehement look, and he turned his face shamefully. Checking his bag to make sure nothing was gone. 
Kate knelt down to the boy's level, her grip still holding his shoulders tightly. “What’s your name, kid?”
“J-Joey. My name’s Joey,” the boy sputtered.
Kate breathed and relaxed her grip, trying to show him she meant no harm. “It’s nice to meet you, Joey. Can you tell me where your family is?”
Joey shook his head, his voice trembling. “Don’t have one, Miss.”
Arthur’s eyes softened slightly, but his voice remained stern. “Then what the hell were you doin’ runnin’ around with my satchel?”
Joey hesitated, his eyes darting between Kate and Arthur. “I-I work for Mister Bronte. He said we could keep anything we stole. Said it’d make us rich.”
Kate exchanged a glance with Arthur, her heart pounding with relief and urgency. They finally had a lead. “Where does Bronte live, Joey?” she asked gently.
The boy’s eyes filled with fear, but Kate’s calming presence seemed to reassure him. “He’s got a big house by the water, right near the docks. Lots of men guardin' it.”
Kate sighed and released the boy. “You did good, Joey. Now get outta here and don’t let me catch you stealin’ again.”
Joey nodded quickly and took off down the alley, disappearing into the labyrinth of Saint Denis. Kate stood up and locked eyes with Arthur. It had been two days since Jack went missing, two days since their fight. There was a heavy, awkward silence between them, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air.
Arthur's eyes were filled with relief and something else—something she couldn't quite place. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words seemed to catch in his throat. Kate tried to form her own thoughts into words, but her mind was whirling with emotions. 
Finally, Arthur cleared his throat. Breaking the silence. “I left Charles near the market. He’s keepin' an eye out.”
Kate nodded, “right.” Her voice is steady despite the trouble within. “I’ll go roundup John and Dutch. We’ll meet at Bronte's manor.”
They stood there for a moment longer, neither knowing what else to say. The tension between them was palpable, but there was also a shared determination. They had a mission to complete, and Jack’s life depended on it.
Arthur gave her a brief, tight nod before turning and heading back towards the market. Kate watched him go, her heart aching with the desire to bridge the gap between them, but now was not the time.
With a deep breath, she turned and made her way through the bustling streets of Saint Denis. The city was alive with activity, the noise and chaos a stark contrast to the heavy silence that had hung between her and Arthur. She spotted John and Dutch near a corner store. 
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Charles had been a quiet, solid presence in Arthur’s life, a true friend and trusted companion. Despite having been with the gang for less than a year, Charles had quickly developed a meaningful friendship with Arthur, seeing the man beneath the tough outlaw exterior. As they rode side by side toward Bronte’s manor, Arthur couldn’t help but reflect on how much he valued Charles’ calm and steady demeanor. He was truly a good man if Arthur had anything to say about him. 
The city of Saint Denis gradually gave way to the more serene, albeit equally intimidating, waterside district where Bronte’s manor was located. The grandeur of the city was lost on Arthur; his mind was too occupied with worry and the mission at hand.
Charles glanced over at Arthur, sensing the conflict within him. “You alright, Arthur?” he asked, his voice low and steady, a grounding force.
Arthur let out a heavy sigh, his grip tightening on the reins. “I dunno, Charles. Feels like everything’s fallin’ apart.”
Charles nodded, his eyes thoughtful. “It’s been a rough few days. Jack’s missing, Sean’s death, the new hide out... it’s a lot to take in.”
Arthur looked ahead, his jaw clenched. “It’s more than that. Feels like everythin’ I do just makes things worse. Dutch’s plans, they’re not workin’. And then there’s Kate…”
Charles turned his gaze to Arthur, waiting patiently for him to continue.
“I told her not to go after Colm’s men. Made her promise,” Arthur continued, his voice tinged with regret. “But she did it anyway. And now I can’t stop thinkin’ about—” he hesitated for a breath. “I can’t protect her when she goes off like that.”
Charles nodded again, understanding the depth of Arthur’s pain. He wasn’t around when Arthur had lost his family, but he had heard the others talk about the burden he carried.
“Kate’s a strong woman. She’s been through a lot, just like you. She thought she was doin’ the right thing, even if it went against what you wanted.”
Arthur sighed, the weight of his past bearing down on him. “She promised me—”
“Stop. It’s not about her promise, I know you’re not as dense as all that.” Charles gave Arthur a moment to process what he said before he continued, treading lightly with his words. “You’ve gotta let go of your guilt, Arthur. It’s eating you alive.” He said softly.
“I love her, Charles,” Arthur’s voice trembled. His facade of strength was crumbling away with every moment.
“I love her so much it scares me. But my loyalty to the gang, it’s…it’s the closest thing I’ll ever have to a family again. Kate doesn’t deserve to get swept into this mess.”
Charles sighed deeply, understanding the strain Arthur was under. “Kate is smart, she understands the risks that come with this life. But she chose you, Arthur. She’s devoted herself to you. What she deserves is the truth.”
Arthur nodded, but the words still hurt to hear. He knew his friend was right. “Something big is coming, the law is breathin’ right down our necks. I’m putting her in danger, and I am so goddamn selfish because despite it all, I love her. And I can’t let her go.”
“It’s not selfish if she wants the same thing.” Charles said, as the grand manor came into view on the edge of the shoreline. The others had already dismounted and were waiting for them by the gate.
“Tell her the truth, Arthur. I have a feeling no matter what you say, she’s not going anywhere.”
Arthur and Charles rode up to the grand gates of Bronte's manor, the imposing structure casting long shadows in the afternoon sun. Dutch and John were already speaking to the guards, their voices low and tense. Charles took the reins of their horses, patting them gently to keep them calm. Arthur scanned the scene, his eyes immediately seeking out Kate.
He found her standing a little apart from the others, her gaze fixed on the manor with a determined look. Arthur approached her quietly, the weight of the past few days heavy on his shoulders. He stopped beside her, gazing up at the grand house. His presence was a silent reassurance.
“Kate,” Arthur murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
Kate turned to him, her eyes softening with concern. “Arthur,” she breathed. He looked down, searching her eyes, seeing trust and understanding shimmering within them. Arthur was sure of it.
“Will you stay with Charles? Keep an eye on things, for me?” He had no idea what they were about to walk into, but if he could keep her safe from it, Arthur would damn well do it.
“Of course,” Kate answered immediately.
Arthur breathed a sigh of relief just as Dutch called his name. The heavy metal gates opened with a loud creaking sound, and before Arthur could turn away, Kate grabbed his hand.
“You be safe, ya hear?” she said sternly. “And you get that boy back, no matter what.” A small grin played on her lips.
“I’m countin’ on it, sweetheart,” he replied, bringing their conjoined hands to his face and kissing her knuckles.
His fierce, determined eyes locked on hers for a moment, before he broke away, rising to his duties. The simple gesture spoke volumes, a promise of protection and unwavering love.
As the gates closed with a loud bang behind them, Kate watched the three of them ascend the long white marble steps and enter the manor. She whispered a silent prayer to the wind for their safety, and Jack's return. 
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By some miracle, the illusive man, Angelo Bronte, had not harmed a single hair on Jack's head. Much to everyone's surprise, Mr. Bronte had fed him, clothed him, and even given him a room of his own, full of toys, books, and games that every child could only dream of. The ride back to Shady Belle was filled with a silent relief. It was a win by all means, for once in their lives the conflict did not end with bloodshed. And for that, everyone was grateful. 
Jack was home safe with his mother once again. Smothering him with kisses and checking every inch of his body for signs of harm. The young boy protested and whined, promising his Ma that he was fine. But as they sat around the fire, Abigail held her boy tightly in her lap. Resting her head against his, and promising never to let him out of her sight ever again. 
The gang decided to celebrate Jack's return, letting the tension of the past days melt away in the warmth of a roaring fire. Singing and dancing erupted around the flames, creating a tapestry of joy and camaraderie under the moonlit sky. The flickering firelight cast playful shadows, illuminating the faces of the outlaws who, for one night, could forget their troubles.
Kate mingled with the others, trying to shake off the weight of recent events. But her eyes kept drifting to the periphery, where she noticed Arthur standing at a distance, watching the festivities with a sorrowful expression. His silhouette was stark against the dark backdrop of the night, a silent guardian on the edge of the light. He stood alone, like a wolf banished from the pack. The only signs of life were the red glow of his cigarette, as he lifted it to lips every so often. 
She entertained the party for a while longer, joining in the songs and clapping along with the rhythm of the music. But when she looked back to where Arthur had been standing, he was gone. The empty space he left behind tugged at her heart, and she knew she had to find him. 
Excusing herself from the group, Kate made her way through the camp, the laughter and music fading behind her. She walked towards the dimly lit manor, her footsteps soft against the grass and gravel.
Instead of focussing on the dreadful state of their new home – the peeling walls, the rotting stairs and missing floorboards – she focused instead, on the flickering light of Arthur’s room. She paused for a moment outside the door, gathering her thoughts.
All was silent on the second floor, except for the gentle creaking of the door that stood between them. It was missing one of its hinges, and the knob was long gong, the wind rocked the wooden frame in a gentle dance. Kate knocked quietly. 
“Come in,” Arthur called. His voice sounded hoarse and tired.
Kate pushed the door open and stepped into the room. Arthur was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head bowed, lost in thought. The dim light from a single oil lantern cast a warm glow over his rugged features, highlighting the lines of weariness and worry etched into his face. He looked up as she entered, his eyes meeting hers with a mixture of surprise and something else—something deeper, more vulnerable.
She glanced around the room, noting how his things had been neatly unpacked by the others. A map lay sprawled across a large wooden crate, detailing their recent escapades and potential new routes. Old shelves were lined with gun ammo and other supplies. But it was the small china cabinet in the corner that drew her attention. Amongst the few items on display, there were two photographs. One was facing down.
Curiosity piqued, Kate picked up the photo and recognized the man in it – Arthur’s father. She placed it back down, hiding his old face in the darkness, and turned her attention back to Arthur.
“This place could use a woman’s touch,” she joked, trying to ease the tension in the air.
Arthur forced a chuckle, but his head hung low, elbows propped on his knees. He played with the frayed edges of his hat, a gesture Kate had come to recognize as one of his tell-tale signs when his mind was off in a darker place.
She sat down beside him, bumping her knee into his, trying to break through the heavy silence. She felt awkward, unsure what to say. Their emotions hung thick in the air, wrapping around them like a heavy blanket.
Arthur's eyes remained fixed on the worn brim of his hat, his voice low and rough. "You know," he began, "this old thing, it was my father's."
Kate glanced at him, her heart aching at the pain in his voice. She remained silent, giving him the space to continue. Arthur rarely spoke about his father, and she was curious about what had him in such sorrow.
“He died by the end of a rope when I was just a kid, but he lived longer than what was good for any of us,” Arthur sighed, flipping the old leather in his hands.
“He was an awful man. Hated me since the day I was born for bein’ another mouth to feed. Robbed everyone he could and spent all the money on booze. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the night he come home from a bar, reeking of rot-gut whiskey. He lost all his money in a game of poker, and took his anger out on my Ma. Blamed her for bein’ the reason we had no money. But I knew he did it because of me.”
Arthur blew a short huff out of his nose, shaking his head as if the memory of them was just a simple misunderstanding. “He took me that night, and I never saw Ma again.”
Kate gasped softly at what Arthur was insinuating. He had told her a few stories about his parents, but they were never painted in a good light. Arthur always said he didn't remember much about his mother. Her heart ached; he must have been so young to witness such violence.
Shifting his weight, the bed creaked softly. Subtly, almost unconsciously, he moved closer to Kate. Their shoulders brushing, Arthur's figure nearly leaned into her. “When I was old enough to be useful, he had me robbing folks ‘fore I could even feed myself. If I put up a fight, he would whoop my hide with some old leather chaps till I couldn’t walk.” Arthur breathed deeply; the memories still pained him.
“I tried to run away once, hid in some fellas' barn in the hay loft,” he chuckled bitterly. “Lyle nearly killed me when he found me. Told me if I ever thought ‘bout leaving again, he would put me in the ground with my mother.”
Kate couldn’t find the words to comfort him. It was too much to bear—the thought of Arthur, so young and innocent, being hurt in ways a child should never have to endure. To be raised without a mother, and a father who despised him. The abuse of power, as he was the only means of staying alive. Kate knew he had lived through hell. 
“Sometimes I wish they had put me up on that rope with him. Would’ve saved the world a lot of trouble,” he tossed the hat aside, landing on the ground with a soft whisper.
“Guess I ain’t too different from my old man.” Arthur sighed and leaned back against the wall behind his bed, looking defeated.
Kate gaped at him for a moment. How he could compare himself to such an evil man was beyond her. She looked between him and his hat, Lyle’s hat, and found herself wondering why he would keep such a thing—whether it was out of spite for his father or purely out of his own self-hatred. There was still so much about him she had yet to discover. So many scars that ran deeper than the ones Colm’s men had inflicted on him.
“I’ve met bad men. Truly evil men, Arthur,” Kate began, her voice gentle and reassuring. “But you are nothing like your father. That much I know is true.”
From the moment she said the words, she could tell Arthur wasn’t going to hear them. He had 36 years to make himself in his father’s image, on purpose or simply by his nature.
Arthur despised his father with a fervor that burned deep within him. Lyle Morgan had been a cruel, selfish man, leaving scars that never fully healed. Arthur’s childhood had been marred by violence and neglect, his father's shadow looming over every aspect of his life. The man had failed him in every conceivable way, shaping Arthur into the man he had become – a man who now felt he had no other choice but to follow in those very footsteps.
Kate had that determined look about her, like she could conquer the world if she willed it. Her unwavering strength was one of the many qualities Arthur had come to love about her. Kate was a good woman, and a loyal friend to her bones. It scared him how deeply he had fallen for her. His years with Mary felt lost to time, her decline at his proposal had hurt. But his heart had healed from rejection, and she remains alive. In the back of his mind, he knew the safest thing for her was to be far away from him. 
But now Kate is safe, Jack is home. The gang is out of trouble for the time being. But Arthur’s past regrets kept him locked in the dark. He often told the others that they can’t change the past, only move forward. But he found himself struggling to take his own advice. 
Arthur's eyes met hers, and she saw the trust and understanding shimmering within them. His gaze softened, yet the pain lingered. “I haven’t been completely honest with ya, darlin’,” Arthur finally spoke, his voice softening at the tone of endearment.
“Then tell me the truth. I’m here to listen,” Kate answered, trying to hide her restlessness. She was desperate to know what was eating him alive. It was obvious his pain ran deeper than her broken promise.
Arthur sighed and placed a hand on her thigh. Kate immediately placed her hand over his own. “Those stories I told you about Isaac, I… I wasn’t actually there for any of ‘em.” He said hesitantly. Kate nodded ever so slightly, encouraging him to continue.
In moments of introspection, Arthur felt the crushing weight of that legacy. His father had set him on this path, and despite his best efforts to forge a different future, Arthur found himself repeating the same cycle of failure and regret. His father had failed him, just as Arthur had failed his own son, Isaac. The boy had deserved a better life, a chance to grow up free from the violence and chaos that had defined Arthur’s world. Instead, Arthur’s own fears and inadequacies had sealed Isaac’s fate.
“After the kid was born, I didn’t want him raised with the gang. I didn’t want him ‘round that kinda trouble. So I put Eliza and her boy up in a cabin, not too far from where we was, but a safe distance. I promised her I would visit often, bringing her food and money. Whatever they needed.”
His fingers trembled slightly, and Kate gave them a squeeze. “As Isaac got older, he began askin’ about me, wantin’ to see me more. And… I don’t know. Guess I got scared. I was terrified he’d end up like me. Like my father. So I stopped visiting, and I never told Eliza why. She always wrote me letters, telling me stories about Isaac. But I never wrote her back, and then I lost every letter in Blackwater.”
He sighed deeply. Thinking about his first journal, the one he had carried with him for nearly a decade. All those memories, drawings, and letters were gone. Never to be graced by his eyes again. 
“The gang had a nasty run-in with the law. So we had to leave and stay hidden for a few months. When things died down, I was able to collect her letters from the post office. Eliza didn’t know if I was dead or alive and yet she begged me to come back, to visit Isaac, to send her money for food. In her last letter, she told me she had borrowed a small amount of money. They were desperate and out of options. I knew she didn’t have the means to pay them back.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “I was only days too late. Some bastard had killed both her and my son over ten dollars.” Arthur closed his eyes and pressed a fist to his mouth. “Because I was too goddamn afraid of failing, I was too afraid to raise my own kid. So, I sent them to an early grave.” 
Arthur felt a wave of shame wash over him at the memory. Knowing that he had ruined other families, just like his own. When he was sent to collect the gang's money that was loaned out. The thought of his own actions made him sick. How Kate had stuck with him after the mess at Downes ranch was a mystery to him. 
Kate's breath caught in her throat as Arthur's words settled into the quiet room. Her heart ached for him, the weight of his past sins and regrets pressing down on her own soul. She had always known there was darkness in him, but hearing it laid bare, raw and unfiltered, shattered her. She understood why her broken promise and Jack’s disappearance had ravaged his emotions. And she felt a deeper understanding of the giant that often consumed him. 
Arthur’s fear of failure was an all-pervasive, mind-numbing, greedy serpent coiled deep in his belly. Devouring his strength and will. It changed his world from one of fleeting curiosities and riveting mischief to a cold, airless box. Suffocating and relentless, it whispered of past mistakes and potential losses, dragging him into a quagmire of self-doubt. Each breath felt like a battle, every decision a gamble with impossible stakes. The weight of his regrets, and the haunting memories of those he failed to protect, gnawed at his soul. He feared that every step he took might lead to another disaster, another life lost. And yet, despite the paralyzing dread, he pushed forward, driven by a desperate hope that was as old as his weary soul. 
Kate pulled him closer, her arms wrapping around him tightly, as if her embrace could somehow shield him from the pain of his memories. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "But you didn't send them to their graves. You can't blame yourself for what happened. Life is cruel and unforgiving, no man can bear that kind of weight."
Arthur leaned into her embrace, his body trembling with the force of silent sobs. "But I do, Kate. I carry that shit with me deep in my chest. I failed them. I couldn’t protect my own family, and I’m terrified I’ll fail you too."
Kate pulled back slightly, cupping his face in her hands. "Arthur, look at me." His eyes met hers, filled with a deep sorrow that broke her heart. Dark blue eyes reflecting his desperate ache.
"You haven’t failed me. And I have faith that you never will. But I need you to trust me too. I need you to believe that I can handle myself, that I can be there for you just as much as you are for me."
Arthur shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. "I trust you. But the only way I can protect you is if I know you’re safe, if I know you’re not running off to find trouble without me at least knowing about it. I can’t bear the thought of losing you too. Not after everything."
Kate's heart swelled with love for the man before her, so strong and yet so vulnerable. Tears clung to her eyelashes, like shooting stars in the night sky. Threatening to fall down into their world.
She nodded, understanding the depth of his fear. "I promise, Arthur. I won’t run off without telling you first. But you have to promise me something too."
Arthur looked at her, his expression filled with a mixture of hope and fear. "Anything, darlin’."
"Promise me that you’ll let me stand by your side, no matter what. That you won’t try to push me away to protect me. We’re in this together, Arthur. And I want to be with you, through everything."
Arthur's eyes softened, and he nodded slowly. "I promise I will try."
Kate smiled through her tears, "that’s all I ask." She leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. Full of comfort and compassion. 
Arthur pulled away from her lips and took a deep breath, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. "Kate,” he whispered. His blue eyes searched hers, wondering how such a woman was created for him.
“I love you,” he breathed, the words heavy with the weight of his emotions. "I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone."
Kate's heart soared at his confession, her eyes filling with tears once more. "I love you, Arthur.” Her voice breaks with the strength of her words. “More than you could imagine."
Arthur kissed her then, and it was like kissing a new man. A man who had shared the depths of his soul, bearing all of his broken and ugly parts. The kiss was slow and deliberate, every touch of their lips a promise of the love they had found in each other. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders, allowing the both of them to soar to new heights. As their lips moved together, the world outside ceased to exist, and in that moment, they were all that mattered.
The warmth of his hand on her cheek, the gentle pressure of his lips, and the soft whispers of their breaths intertwined, creating a cocoon of intimacy and connection. Kate felt the depth of his love in every touch, every caress, and she knew that despite the hardships they faced, they had found something truly worth fighting for, in each other.
━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━
Kate and Arthur sat together on the porch off his room, watching the full moon rise over the distant horizon. The night was calm, the air filled with the soft sounds of crickets and the gentle rustle of leaves. The flickering glow of lighting bugs danced across the night. The faint scent of blooming night orchid wafted through the air, mingling with the earthy smell of the surrounding bayou. A gentle breeze brushed against their skin, cool and refreshing.
Kate nestled comfortably in Arthur’s lap, her head resting against his chest. She could feel the steady, reassuring beat of his heart beneath her cheek, a rhythmic reminder of the man she loved. He smelled of tobacco, mixed with cedar and musk. A comforting and familiar scent. Her thumb brushed over the softness of his beard, savoring the quiet moments of peace they had carved out for themselves. She traced the lines of his jaw, feeling the strength and roughness of his skin, the evidence of a life hard-lived.
Arthur’s face was lit by a tender smile, his eyes reflecting the serene glow of the moon. The silver light cast soft shadows across his features, highlighting the creases and scars that told stories of battles fought and survived. He held her close, one arm wrapped securely around her waist, the other gently combing through her wind tousled hair. 
After a moment, he spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence. “I’m sorry, for what I said the other day,” he murmured, his deep voice soft and tinged with regret.
“Hmm?” Kate responded, her gaze shifting to meet his.
“Bout you leaving; how I wouldn’t stop you. I’m sorry I said that.” He clarified. 
Kate smiled tenderly. “You’re forgiven, Arthur. I knew you didn’t mean it,” she said, her voice gentle and soothing.
“Good. Cause you can bet if you try to leave me now, I’ll hog-tie ya and run away with you on the back of my horse,” he said with a playful grin, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Oh yeah? Is that a promise, cowboy?” she teased, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Arthur chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest. “Damn right it is.”
With that, Arthur pulled her closer, his lips attacking hers with playful, hungry kisses. He nipped gently at her lower lip, eliciting a soft giggle from Kate. His kisses trailed down her neck, each one filled with a mix of teasing affection and unspoken desire. Kate’s laughter mingled with the soft rustling of the night, her fingers tangling in his hair as he continued his assault of love, his touch igniting a warmth that spread through her entire being.
Kate sighed contentedly, her fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “I’m sorry too. For breaking your promise,” she said finally, composing herself and sitting up in his lap. “If it makes you feel any better, I found those boys who took you.”
Arthur’s expression grew serious, a flicker of surprise in his eyes. “I’d imagine you gave ‘em hell,” he spoke. “Still worries me that they saw your face though.”
Kate straightened herself and gave Arthur a serious look, “It’s not like we had time for introductions, besides, one of them already knew who I was. But they can’t hunt me from the grave, Arthur.” 
Arthur sighed and looked away from her for a moment, remembering the young O’Driscoll who had stolen his portrait of her. “Colm’s a dangerous man. I’m just worried he’ll use you against me. That’s all.”
Kate sank a little at his words, feeling guilt stir in her belly, “I understand.” 
As if sensing her regret, Arthur attempted to lighten her mood, “Oh, don’t give me that look sweetheart. Just invite me next time you’re making house calls and…” he hesitated, searching for the right words. “You didn’t have to do that for me, y’know.”
“I know,” she said softly. “Part of me was just being selfish,” she admitted, her voice tinged with a mix of guilt and embarrassment.
Arthur furrowed his brows in confusion and looked down at her, “Selfish ain’t quite the word I would use.”
Kate let out a breathy giggle, appreciating Arthur’s attempt to be sweet. Her heart throbbed at his recent confession, and she felt he deserved the truth behind her actions.
“It’s true. Ever since I lost my family I–” She suddenly felt a frog in her throat, and her face felt warm with oncoming tears. 
It was easy to talk about them, to talk about her grief with Arthur. To share memories of her loved ones was as simple as breathing. She could paint vivid pictures of her family's laughter, the warmth of their embrace, and the love that had once filled her life. It was a way to keep them alive in her heart, to ensure they were never truly gone. But what was hard was admitting how her strength and resolve were merely a facade, covering up the darker parts of her. The parts desperate to regain some semblance of control in her life.
Kate's past was marred by tragedy and loss. The day she lost her husband and child had shattered her world. She remembered the suffocating grief, the unbearable weight of their absence. But fate wasn’t satisfied with her loved ones, it took a piece of her as well the day she was taken prisoner. In the aftermath, she had vowed never to feel that powerless again. She built walls around her heart, armor made of determination and resolve. To the world, she appeared strong and unyielding, a woman who could handle anything thrown her way. But beneath that facade lay a deep-seated fear.
“I’m terrified of feeling powerless again,” she continued. Arthur listened closely to her every word. “Unable to save my loved ones or save myself.”
She paused, her voice catching as she fought to continue. “It’s like this relentless force driving me, this need to control everything around me. I’m afraid, Arthur. I’m afraid of losing you, afraid of losing everyone I care about.”
Arthur’s eyes softened with understanding, his hand gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. Kate took a deep breath, her fingers tracing the lines of Arthur’s face as if trying to memorize every detail.
“It’s been so hard on my own. I’ve spent so long pretending to be strong, convincing myself that if I can control things, I won’t get hurt again. But it’s exhausting, and it’s not real. The truth is I am not a strong woman, just a scared one.”
This need for control was consuming her. It left her anxious and restless, always on edge, always waiting for the next disaster. Kate's journey had been a solitary one. She had relied on herself for so long, she had forgotten how to lean on others. Her independence was both her strength and her weakness. It kept her moving forward, but it also kept her isolated. She had been so focused on surviving, on maintaining her semblance of control, that she had forgotten what it meant to truly live.
“No,” Arthur sat up abruptly and gripped her hands. “No, Kate, that is not true. You’re bein’ too hard on yourself.” His voice was firm but gentle, filled with a reassurance that made her lips tremble. Silent tears ran down her cheeks as she absorbed his words.
“Goddammit woman. I don’t ever want to hear you speak like that,” Arthur's voice was stern, like he was scolding a child, but it was laced with overwhelming support and love. “You can be both. You understand me? I’m scared too, darlin’. I promise you, I’m just as scared. But that don’t mean you ain’t strong. You’ve done so much for this gang, for me.”
Kate looked into his eyes, feeling the intensity of his conviction. Meeting Arthur had changed everything. He saw through her facade, saw the pain and fear she tried so hard to hide. With him, she didn't have to pretend. She could be vulnerable, could share the darkness that lurked within her. It was terrifying, but it was also liberating. For the first time in years, she felt like she could breathe.
Arthur's grip on her hands tightened as he continued, his voice a soft rumble. “The devil may have dealt you some nasty cards, but you faced that fire and you came out stronger. You’re one of the bravest people I know, Kate. When I look at you I am filled with pride knowing how brave and compassionate my woman is.”
Kate's tears flowed freely now, not from sadness, but from the relief of being understood, of being accepted for all that she was. She leaned into Arthur, resting her head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.
“I love you, Arthur Morgan.” Her voice felt tiny in his presence. Kate couldn’t find the words to express how much Arthur meant to her, but in her heart she knew he understood. 
Arthur squeezed her tight to his chest, resting his chin atop her head. “And I love you, Kate McCanon.”
As she sat with Arthur on the porch, the moon casting a gentle glow over them, Kate realized that she didn't have to face her fears alone. She didn't have to be in control all the time. She had Arthur by her side, and he had her by his. She could let go, if only a little, and trust that he would catch her if she fell.
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A/N: I know this chapter was super dialogue heavy. But tbh I just love writing conversations lmao. I particularly enjoyed the segment with John, he’s just a fun character to write. I was intending to end the chapter with Arthur’s confession about his father/son. But then i was like nah i really think Kate should open up about this too. It’s time to air out the dirty laundry, you know XD
Anyways. Big things coming my friends. If my little ADHD brain can work with me next chapter will be incredibly steamy. Lots of smut. It’s about damn time!! It’ll be a longer chapter, as there’s some other characters I’ve been neglecting for a while. And I’m also going to another wedding! So I’ll be gone for a few days, and I’ll be working on it when I get back.
Thanks for reading guys :)
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tubbytarchia · 3 months
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Jimmy wing and wing clipping headcanons because I don't think I've ever written it down on here but. You guys ought to know by now how insane I am about his canary wings as symbolism so here goes yippee
Sometimes I like to imagine Evo Jimmy with little chick wings, all white and fuzzy and stuff because that's adorable. But moreso I stick with the idea that his wings very suddenly sprouted in Third Life (the canary curse did start with traffic) which alarmed both him and Scott. Jimmy would have been somewhat excited but mostly nervous. Scott wouldn't have shown too much care until he realized how fast the wings kept growing, serving as an unpredictability. And Scott doesn't like unpredictability. He needs to be able to pave his path the way he sees fit to fulfill the tragic love story he seeks. And so he starts to clip them, to halt their growth and keep them from becoming encumbering, and it doesn't take much for Jimmy to just let him because it's for his own wellbeing - what Scott claims anyway
Without Scott in LL, he keeps clipping them on his own, but it's hard and he never quite gets used to it. He very much accidentally cuts into blood feathers too
By DL, his wings are pretty neglected and he ultimately asks Tango to clip them for him, however hesitant he is to let Tango in on it or to request such a task. Tango is horribly nervous of messing up but he's willing to do it for Jimmy's sake. Every step of the way he'd ask for assurance that he's doing this right and I'd like to imagine that it's in that process that Jimmy's forced to grapple with the fact that maybe he doesn't like his wings clipped. They stop before he can break down too much and neglect to bring it up again much - Jimmy doesn't, and Tango wants to respect that. So he just walks around with one partially clipped wing for awhile, new feathers eventually growing back and his wings start to get decently bigger again for awhile
Some people like to imagine that the avians have their wings bound etc for fairness in the games. I like to imagine that their wings get magically clipped for the duration of each game - Grian's do, but Jimmy's never do, because he wouldn't be able to take flight anyway. Grian doesn't realize though, and is often too preoccupied, but when he and Jimmy team up in LimL and he learns that Jimmy would clip them voluntarily, he's appalled. This further encourages Jimmy to ditch clipping and Grian, the proud Avian he is, can't help but dump a bunch of wing care advice on him. Jimmy decides to try and follow it, and maybe eventually even be able to fly. But he'd fall to his death by the end of it anyway
This puts a damper on his confidence, but nonetheless he keeps trying in SL. He practises for hours on end at the Big Dogs' diving pool, but he ends up pushing himself so hard that, though no longer clipped, his wings get neglected again and his feathers poke every which way from the prolonged and frustration induced practise. He might let Martyn try and preen them but Martyn wouldn't be much good at it
Welp that's it for traffic though, for now... Jimmy's wings as a represntation of his mental wellbeing whoag!!! The way he's happier in DL with Tango - lets his wings grow for the first time. And how much Scott tries to get at them - reinforced by seeing Jimmy cease to clip his wings. How Jimmy remains in a good space with LimL but gradually gets both a little more hostile and anguished with SL (eg taking enjoyment out of hitting Scott around, trying to push Martyn into lava and then running away from home thinking he can never go back now. Contrast to LimL for example where he and Joel voiced a similar sentiment together in relation to Grian when they failed to get a kill with their Enderpearl tactic, but there, he had Joel by his side). How he's gradually dismissive of Scott's approaches in LimL, very straightforwardly so in RL (as debatably canon as that is to me) and other non-traffic instances - he no longer clips his wings. But he's wings still aren't in great shape because he's not yet content with himself
I'm a firm believer that things need to get worse before they get better but. Eventually... Eventually his wings will be well cared for again and he'll stop pushing them and himself and it'll be reflective of Jimmy's growth... dreamy sigh... one day
I also like to imagine that his wings involuntarily curl around himself when he doesn't want to be perceived etc. Like um like when he had to dance in a maid outfit in SOS. cough. The trauma. I drew it once before too but eugh he'd apologize too, for his wings doing that. Because he's prone to apologizing when he's the one being hit around or having disservice done to him. He's started hitting people back a bit though... I hope he keeps doing it. Please Jimmy please start murdering people
Also I ultimately don't take the canary wings as an actual sign of the canary curse. That's just psychological horror he and others around him subject him to in my head lol. His wings resemble his unworthiness - why he's at the bottom of this cultural food chain. Not only are they useless, flightless, but also have that canary curse label put on them, keeping him reminded of his tendency to die first any time of day. When really, those wings are no burden even if he never gets to fly... Still, they'd be his... Still, they'd frame his figure like a sun following him everywhere he goes. The moment he can accept and love them despite this is the moment he accepts and loves himself, too
Im tired eepy. If there's typos or anything, oops. Love Jimmy always. Pray for my son
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sergeantwoods · 5 months
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soap needed some time - some time to rewind. after missions, depending on how they were, he'd feel... overwhelmed. mind reeling, going over everything that had happened. he needed his journal to write down what he felt, how he felt, what had happened, so that he wouldn't have to remember it after. it was nice.
and he'd draw too, if he was feeling the urge to sketch something down.
and it was fucking gorgeous right now. they were in al mazrah, some in and out mission to gather intel. it was just the four of them, just soap, ghost, price and gaz. he (personally) liked those missions the most.
laswell set up this safehouse for them, just for the night, because tomorrow morning, exfil would come and pick them up. they each had their own rooms, small with a twin sized bed that was probably too small for any of them - but that was fine, soap probably wasn't going to sleep in a while. he'd go back to his room when he felt like it.
his gazed swept over the desert, the sun slowly sinking over the belt of amber sand in the distance. everything was lit in an ethereal orange glow, his already tan skin practically glowing. (he wasn't saying that to make himself feel pretty, no sir.)
he had his journal in one hand, pen twirling idly in his fingers of the other as he watched the sunset. he had written down everything in his journal about the mission, and now, with this view - he wanted to draw.
but - he felt as though he couldn't capture it. the otherworldly beauty couldn't be caught on paper. he had two pens - one thick, one thin - but that didn't matter really. the colors, the colors are what he wanted to draw.
fuckin' hell, he'd die for some pencils or markers even watercolor, but he isn't bringing any of that to a mission. that's bordering childish. it's nice to be childlike every once in a while, no?
he leaned back onto the roof, shutting his eyes and letting out a small breath. it's nice. pretty, and the weather is perfect. he'd stay here for the rest of his life, if he could.
the almost silent padding of feet approaching him made him open one eye to glance scornfully at the intruder. he immediately softened, though, seeing ghost.
leaning forward, soap patted the spot next to him, uncrossing his legs and letting them swing off the edge of the building. ghost came to stand beside soap, slowly crouching down to sit next to him.
they just sit there. quiet, excluding the shuffles of ghost shifting his weight around and soap sketching on paper.
soap pulls away from his paper, turning to stare at ghost.
the man was bathed in a tawny light, white mask basking in beige-ish cream sunlight. he turned to look at soap, tilting his head slightly as if asking, what's on your mind?
"did you know, after death the human brain lives on for seven minutes?" soap asked, quietly. his gaze slid away from ghosts, settling on focusing again on his paper before adding with a shrug, "to replay it's best memories,"
he felt ghost press closer to soap slightly, then murmured back, "yeah? that's cool to think about."
"aye."
it's quiet for a few seconds before soap continues.
"you'd be my seven minutes."
-
i saw something about this and i had to write it but ghoap
but yay, yippee, zoinks ,,,!!! the writings bad because i didnt care!!!
take some fucking ghoap you loser /j
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neathbound-fiends · 1 year
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My rough timeline of the major plot points for the Horticultural Show for people who didn't play it
It came to my attention from a friend being like "bestie WHAT is going on over there" that the fact that the plot moved so rapidly and had a lot of different moving pieces was hard to understand from just discussion and the dash, so here is my (rough) sequence of events for clarity and handy dandy purposes. If anyone else wants to correct something or add on, please do!
Garden festival (yay! Everyone spent the first day gardening and having fun!)
the opening ceremony happens, and during that Starved Men start attacking the City. no one is happy about this happening
we begged for help, and everyone said no :(
Sinning Jenny and the Admiralty actually end up helping (Jenny organizing volunteers for the relief effort like tending to the wounded and repairing damaged buildings, the Admiralty organizing volunteers for trying to drive the Starved Men out with violence)
this isn't working! at all! so we get sent to go look for clues about the Starved Men and how to actually defeat them and what they might want from us
we get a bunch of clues and now we can actually start hurting them and getting them to leave! everyone is excited about this part because it's the first time it feels like there's actually hope
we capture a few Starved Men that surrender, and who are the last ones in the City, and they're held prisoner in the brig on one of the ships while scholars try and figure out how to communicate with them
we can talk now! yippee! the Admiralty thinks these guys suck and doesn't wanna talk, Jenny wants to understand why. they tell us that it looks like the City is gonna be destroyed so they came down to try and make it Weird™️ in a way it'll survive this. there is also revealed to be another group of Starved Men who think it would be kinder to us to just murder us all instantly and are planning to flood London with sunlight. we are all distressed to hear this
we are now working on a two pronged approach: gather more allies to help fight with us and destroy the weapon (an oculus, which is basically a big sphere that's gonna have the light hit it and then it'll make the light go everywhere and burn everyone to death), and to actually FIND where they've got it. people get to take airships to the roof to look for the weapon, and you can take your ship and other things to other locations to recruit allies
we found it! now we have to destroy it. your player character goes with the group that's actually there to destroy it. other groups are running interference and trying to keep you safe to make it through
if you took too much damage, I guess you just land? I'm not sure, because I passed all my checks to not get smoked. I failed the check to destroy the oculus with the cannons, but even if you passed it, it doesn't actually destroy it, so you can't win. you either try and evade and land or you can crash your ship directly into it and the shaft of sunlight that will definitely permanently kill you
it doesn't! you get killed by the crash before you're killed by the sunlight, so you're good! everything worked out in the end!
the Boat Man confirms that London is not destroyed, which is handy because although it would be INCREDIBLY funny to have an event that ends the game completely and unexpectedly in concept, people would not like it if it actually happened. you get the option to either be relieved by this, pessimistic because what's the point if it'll probably happen again, or so outrageously overjoyed you start bellowing songs (and the Boat Man thinks you're so annoying he instantly clears your wounds so you go away)
you can plant stuff in a new community garden because Londoners decided to replant as a symbolic thing of moving forward! a Starved Man comes and you can either be like "fuck this guy, get out of here" and then destroy the flower he plants, or "come in friend and plant your thing" (I chose to let him plant the thing and then planted my own thing)
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purplemarshal · 6 months
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Easier to Cry
(An alternate version of The Power Inside Her ft. some CASEYTELLO yippee! Drable)
(837 words)
Third person P.O.V.
Donatello was dead.
Atoms scattered to who knows where, leaving nothing but a purple mask.
With rain soaking whomever was outside. One of those unfortunate souls was none other than Casey Jones, a teenager who is barely making it through highschool and had just watched as one of his best friends was murdered.
The temperature had dropped significantly but none of the teens felt it as they rapidly tore their way up the channel 6 tower, not caring about the possibility of damage to the building nor themselves.
Donnie was gone and so was April, Abandoning the sight to god knows where.
Casey was mortified, devastated and whatever other words one would use to describe someone in his situation. He couldn’t muster the courage to talk, his thoughts were muddled and overlapping in such a way that had only happened once before while watching as his mother couldn’t escape from the men who pierced her with rusty tools as she begged him to run away with his sister.
Casey stumbled a bit as he felt his breath get stuck in the same spot as his words, barely managing what shaky breaths did escape as he couldn’t control the whimper that his limited stability allowed. 
Donatello was dead.
He did nothing.
He can't do anything.
Bile rose as the moments of his friend's death replayed over and over in his mind, torchering the boy even more while a broken string of hardly held together words fell from his impossibly dry mouth in a pathetic attempt to calm down.
The other three turtles didn’t let Casey's breakdown go unnoticed however as his mumbles turned to screams of pleas and apologies to a god that the teen didn’t believe in.
Leo was the first to make an attempt to calm the mess of their friend.
“Casey, Case, breath man. It’ll be okay, don’t panic.”
The boy's sobs stopped as his throat raw from attempts of forgiveness that made sense to no one but him. Turning to hitching breaths and silent tears that fell with the rain. Leo started slowly approaching him, scared of the possibility of making it worse. 
“Hey, hey Case,” she said no louder than a whisper. “We’ll get through this, I promise nobody is mad at you, or anyone.”
Casey still didn’t look up as Leo pulled him into an embrace, showing what she said was true.
“First we need to get down from here and to-” The eldest turtle froze as her hand was becoming wet. Not from the storm but rather a warm and thicker liquid emerged from her friend's back.
“Okay, I’ll carry you, then we’ll find our friend okay?” She tried desperately to keep her calm so as to not worry anyone else, making the situation worse. The teen in her arms managed a small nod and gripped onto the turtle, ripping some of her skin from how tight and desperate his grasp was. 
The teens collapsed on the pavement in a moment of exhaustion, their adrenalyne returned when the sounds of clanging and talking washed over their ears, without hesitation they followed the noise to find April fighting some members of The Purple Dragons. 
(I really didn’t want to rewrite this whole “fight scene” so just watch it or imagine it, sorry)
Even with his half lidded, blurry eyes Casey admired the tallest of the turtles as they stood fairly frazzled at their current position. 
“Don,” he breathed, trying to get to them but the gash in his back made it practically impossible. “Mh-so sorry.” 
“Case? Casey!” The mutant stumbled, legs weak but the willpower to get to him kept them up until they fell in front of him, lifting his face and fairly roughly checking for any injuries before wrapping him in a tight hug.
“Blood? Are you bleeding?” They lifted their hand, revealing the sticky liquid.
“Hm? Oh, yeah.” With the situation Casey had forgotten about his gaping wound that he had earned while fighting a few of Shredder's infamous goons earlier that night, ignoring the pain and possible consequences to his actions in favor of everyone else's safety. 
Which he had failed to insure.
A muffled groan was audible as he shoved his face in the ladders neck, not wanting to neither make a noise but with how tired he was made him unable to stop it, nor be any farther away from Donnie. 
Donnie squinted as gravity seemed to hit them all at once, the universe recognising that Donatello was in fact not dead.
“Canwe stay like, mph, like this for a bitmore?” Casey slurred, struggling to stay awake. 
Donnie smiled softly, “Yeah, that’d be nice.”
Comfort set over the duo as they took in what they could of the moment before passing out in each other's embrace, a cliche that was both warming and concerning to the conscious of the group in fear of their impaired bodies and having to get them back to the lair in a way to not harm them more in the process.
A/N Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed, I wrote this during school today and I think you can tell LOL
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vriendenboekjes · 20 days
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What's your thesis about? I've been wondering
omg yippee now that it's over im finally happy to talk about it again. I'll try to keep it short and readable but basically it's a dramaturgical analysis of 2 puppetry performances in which both puppet characters die. One (A) due to suicide and the other (B) is a bit more ambiguous. I analyse how the performances emphasize the puppets' qualities as either object or character and how this influences the way their deaths are staged.
I did not keep this short At ALLLL so i added a readmore LOL
So i start by saying how puppets can often already signify death, as they are lifeless figures, brought to life, and then put to rest again. So death is a pretty relevant theme in puppetry. Since they are figures containing images of both life and death, people may be uncertain how to interpret them.
Then I explore how other authors have thought about the puppet's life and death, and explain that many think movement is key in establishing the puppet's life/liveliness, especially movement that implies an intention behind it. So the puppet can be seen as a lively character when it moves like a character.
In my analysis i use the concept of binocular vision that was used by phenomenologist Bert O. States to refer to the way the audience can see the actor and character simultaneously. I then (in the discussion with other authors) apply this to puppetry to say that the audience may see both object and character in the figure of the puppet.
Then i use Mori's essay The Uncanny Valley and relate this to the way the puppet's life and death may make the figure of the puppet anxiety-inducing, as it may be unclear how to interpret it. Mori also states that an object's movement will amplify the peaks and valleys in the graph. Other authors have stated that the way an object moves, rather than its appearance, creates the illusion of life. They then suggest that perceiving the puppet as a character would trump its uncanny or object characteristics.
Binocular vision is the inverse of that, where the uncertainty regarding the object’s status allows the spectator to enjoy the object, the puppet, for what it is. The uncanny is a concept that comes into play when the status of the object comes into question, when it is unclear whether the object is alive or dead, therefore, the uncanny comes into play when these themes are explored in puppetry.
In the analysis part, I analyse how the performances emphasize the puppet's qualities as object or character and how this influences how the puppets' deaths are staged.
Performance A, called Perenbomen Bloeien Wit (2020) [Pear Trees Bloom White], is about Gerson and his family who get into a car crash. Before the car crash, Gerson has been performed solely by a (human) performer, but after this, the puppet Gerson is introduced, which the performer must control. It's really interesting because more performances combine object theatre and disability. But not only performances, dutch writer Hanna Bervoets has a book called Welkom in het Rijk der Zieken (welcome to the empire of the ill) that's about a man with postviral fatigue who ends up in an alternate world where he literally has to drag his body around.
So in this performance, the figure of the puppet is used for its uncanny characteristics to signify Gerson's alienation from his disabled body.
The second performance (actually i used the video podcast), De Berg van de Angst (2020) [the mountain of the fear] is a ritual bunraku performance interspersed with a narrator. The performance is about a puppet who conquers her fear of death and then dies. In this part, I discuss how the puppet’s qualities as object and character do not overshadow, but rather strengthen one another, which contrasts with the idea that perceiving the puppet as a character inherently trumps perceiving it as an object.
Then in the conclusion, I reflect on the differences between the performances’ approaches to the puppet’s death and how the contradictory figure of the puppet may be a useful medium to discuss heavier subjects.
Let me quote myself HAHAHA
"Perhaps the puppet allows for a certain level of symbolism and can function as a more meaningful medium when exploring darker or more difficult themes than a performer would be. In this interplay between the object and the character it portrays, a space is created where the spectator may delight in the creation of the life of something non-living. The puppet is, after all, already a contradictory figure whose interpretation may be ambiguous, representing life and death and object and character. This could specifically make the puppet a useful figure to bring attention to more difficult subjects. And so puppetry can offer a place where the audience may see life and death in the puppet, where, however brief, both become real."
i realise this wasnt short but i hope ive at least stuck to readable. Thank you if you've read this far. This has been my project for like 2,5 years and it's kind of crazy that it's over but i'm also really glad to be done
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dtupdates-archive · 11 months
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♡—DREAM was active on DreamFanartAcc! He liked:
Happy birthday George!! 💙
happy birthday georgie 😢🫶 we love u more than words !!!
so many tests crop up but hey i m not too late this year! he literally inspires me to get through the difficult time in my life, he is the nicest person that i have ever seen! Happy birthday sunshine💙💙💙💙
sweet sixteen to our fav 72 year old man 🥰
goob day!
BIRTHDAY BOY🩵🥳🥳
Day 6 - IRL Stream all around the world
Happy Birthday George!!
birthday boy ( =
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE
the season of the pumpkin has passed, the time of gogy is upon us
YIPPEE
⭐️ 27!!! ⭐️
Pumpkin Farmers 🎃🌟
HAPPY OLD DAY GEORGE 🥳
happy birthday george!! 💙
Happy birthday @.GeorgeNotFound!
i forgive it all as it comes back to me
Happy birthday @.GeorgeNotFound🥳🥳‼️
dtealloween
The goat vs chimkin
*spongebob frown sound effect*
It’s George’s day! 🎂
IT’S HIS DAY !!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!!! 🥳💙
Happy birthday George🥳 I appreciate everything you do for us <3 la papaya
Happy Halloween! 👻 🎃
christmas season is approaching!!
family <3
happy halloween from your favourite ghosty friends 👻🩵💚🧡
They’re party pumpkins your honour 🎃~ Happy late birthday George <3
HAPPY (LATE) 16TH BDAY GEORGE 🩵
💋
“yo who put this shit on" me standing next to the speaker:
don’t you dare run away, chimkin!🐓
waaay out of his league
girl dinner
dnf core memory’s ☹️🫶
27th George birthday stream-Dream
I'm late but GEORGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY&HALLOWEEN!! I love u
Its name is chimkin if you even care ://
i got so incredibly happy from the newest video 😭😭 so have some rushed doodles i did just now [we are ignoring chimkin’s death i dont make the rules]
Happy birthday 🎉 (totally on time)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE !! 🪩☀️ its george day PARTY TIME
CHIMKIN COME BACK HERE!!
RUSHED BUT THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE JUSTICE FOR CHIMKIN
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my-little-loverboy · 7 months
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I had to restart his save since it got corrupted- which means it’s time for a new ref!!
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I’ve committed to the fact that this man dresses like an 80s dad in any modern au.
Tries very hard to read as the ideal paladin, good morals, strong sense of justice n what have you. He is unfortunately full of trauma and identity issues, fear of his god is a HUGE THING and breaking his oath accidentally is a perpetual anxiety too.
I’ve also decided he has the shittiest, patchy ass beard. Usually he’s clean shaven bc he doesn’t like having facial hair but he’s not quite adept enough with a dagger to shave with one and tries exactly once to shave (failing miserably, much to Astarion’s entertainment) before giving up until act 3 when he buys himself a new razor.
I really should draw him holding the blood of lathander more but that mf is agonizing to draw man there are, so many layers to it.
I finally remembered to draw his glasses on his ref, yippee.
I’m making him an actual dnd character sheet so I’ll probably attach that once it’s done
I’m side tracked I’m supposed to be talking about his lore huh
Whoops
Anyway, tw for abandoment (passing mention) emotional abuse, death (of a parent + en masse,) mental illness that’s being ignored, chronic pain and illness (also being ignored until he can’t)
His actual like- lore lore is below the break.
Born in the underdark, his mom fucked off with him bc the underdark isn’t a great place to live generally speaking, and she had the means. His dad decided last minute to stay in the underdark.
Taken in by the temple of lathander in elturel bc his mother was chronically ill and not expecting or able to be making this kind of journey on her own with a very small child. Ended up being moved from the temple to a hospital after it was determined that she probably wasn’t getting better.
Charlie ended up being mostly raised by the temple, went to school there and was taught how to read and write + basic math. But spent most of his free time working to pay for his mother’s (and soon his own) medication.
Turns out the of the myriad of issues his mother delt with (migraines, persistent nausea and dizziness, chronic joint issues) were genetic, so by time he hit puberty he was working his ass off to pay for it.
You may ask me “cake, didn’t that aggravate his joint issues?” Yes. Badly. He was not given any other options, the fact that they were alive at all was a godsend (I use the word godsend intentionally, he believes, strongly, that lathander is keeping him alive for some reason beyond his understanding, that is the root of his devotion.)
Did you order mommy issues? Hope so bc he has them in spades. You can only be hear your dying mom say she regrets saving you life as a literal toddler so many times before it starts fucking you up, and she said it (and other delightful(/sarc) things) plenty in the months leading up to when she died.
Shortly after her death, and suddenly needing to work way less (his medication was significantly cheaper than his mothers) he devoted himself to the temple, and was eventually approached bc some kids he went to school with to see if he wanted to join their little class thing. The temple liked to train their folks in groups of 4, in hopes of building strong teams should they choose to stay together.
He agreed, and found out that the temple would pay for his medication in exchange for dedicating himself fully to his training and his studies (and occasionally them using him as a scout, being small, naturally stealthy, and decently quick had its advantages.)
Took his oath with one of the other people he was trained alongside when he was 17, and they were collectively sent to continue their training at the nearby Fort Morninglord.
Things were solid, until he was sent along with a group of seniors to Baldurs Gate as a sort of test to see how he would do on a longer mission before officially joining the Order of the Aster.
He did well, all things considered. Unfortunately between him leaving and returning is when Fort Morninglord got eaten by the shadowfell for some reason. (That’s a canon event btw)
So, with all his friends presumably dead, maybe worse, and all his shit left inside a heavily guarded, very cursed fort. He did the reasonable thing, and fucked right off.
He ended up joining one of the seniors he went to Baldur’s Gate with in going to Waterdeep, while they didn’t particularly need another paladin. The temple of lathander in Waterdeep accepted them both until they were able to find stable employment.
Charlie mainly did small jobs for merchants, working as a guard for high value stuff, moving cargo on/off boats, mostly physical labour. It didn’t pay particularly well, but he could afford a little room above a tavern, and his medication.
That’s where he was, and how he lived for almost 130 years until he got wormed.
May or may not be blindly devoted to Lathander bc of… all that. literally any bad thing to occur to him is swiftly written off as a test of his faith, surprising to damn near everyone he is not one for converting people. (He definitely reads like he would though, it’s the theology special interest, there are few gods he won’t speak extensively on. He just defaults to lathander)
Fr though? Having trouble finding a god to worship? Ask him, he will give you an answer or more accurately- a list.
Yknow when you sprinkle random facts into your characters to make them less flat? Yeah my man collects maps, particularly outdated ones.
The only reason he’s not fucked post-worm is bc it fends off the worst of his usual symptoms. He has conflicted feelings about it (on one hand, being able to put honey in his coffee and not feel like his brain is exploding is nice, on the other, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.)
Post game he is left in a… state. He’s gotten used to life with less pain and is absolutely bedridden for a WHILE bc suddenly he’s being hit with his usual pain n symptoms but he’s not used to it anymore so it’s absolutely destroying him.
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retphienix · 11 months
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First reactions to this without actually sitting down to think of long term- or unintended- messaging attached is that this is rather interesting. I think I like this as a world building mess- there's nothing clean about this, and I kinda really like that.
It carries an undertone that oppressors can't be convinced and often must be confronted directly- in this case through subterfuge rather than conflict.
It goes without saying that "both sides"ing an oppressive enslaving colonizing monstrosity such as the first spawn Gek isn't- didn't- and would never have gotten us anywhere as they were marching forward no matter what.
As an "Empire" they were unstoppable. Not just "Military strength" wise- morally- via ideology- via culture. They were unchanging and for that matter- could not be changed by others.
The implication here is potentially that all Gek were simply predisposed to this line of reasoning and I'd argue that's. Complicated. And False.
Forgive me as I dig Too Deep for my own entertainment:
Because to paint it as an inevitability- to say "They were just evil" others the problem to a degree that takes responsibility and for that matter "fault" away from the discussion.
If you TRULY say "Gek are just like this" then you're saying Gek can't be another way- so it's not their fault they did a little bit of enslaving, whoopsy-daisy.
But I bring that up more because I don't think that's the intended messaging- I think that's a potential read brought on by how sudden a reveal this is- and I'd argue the finishing lines from the Gek kind of bring that mis-read down a touch (a good thing!).
I think it's more accurate to say the culture had built up its mythos to an unstoppable degree. Much like modern cultures (yippee -.- ), where they painted their history for eons, attached righteous patriotism towards their actions, and while not LITERALLY being incapable of being or feeling otherwise on an individual level- AS A WHOLE- AS A CULTURE- they had become immutably and stubbornly evil.
IE: An individual gek from the first spawn may have been sympathetic, but the whole could never be on their own. Their culture had run too hot for too long to allow a few tears from their victims to cool it off even slightly.
So it was not inevitable in the same way day and night are, it was inevitable in that a seed of evil was allowed to flourish for so long that nothing but direct and, in this case, intense action must fight back to allow anything other than that "inevitability".
Which is where we come to the Korvax's solution which in itself is fucking wild to think on.
In the simplest terms, they brain washed a generation and that broke the cycle of death and destruction.
And That's Kind Of Difficult To Confront.
Because brainwashing is, not great.
But sci-fi brainwashing isn't something we currently have to worry about- we have a much slower and dirtier approach in real life.
So I think the fact it's so blatantly comparable to brainwashing is kind of a weak spot to this narrative- but perhaps they wanted it to be kind of dirty, I genuinely don't know.
I feel like the intent was to be a sci-fi way of expressing their revolution taking a less direct route as their oppressor could not be confronted on the battlefield.
The fact that the brainwashing required many of the Korvax to sacrifice their lives in order to change the minds of the following generation makes it feel like the act is meant to be thought on symbolically rather than literally- less so that they "Brainwashed" and more so that "They 'fought' and died to enact change".
As I started with, I think it's merely meant to be a narrative tool to show that the oppressor had to be STOPPED- they would not stop themselves.
The chosen tool is muddy, and doesn't parallel great with real life if you apply it too directly- but I think the intent was less so as I mentioned (symbolically).
The intent is clearly focused on this being a revolution- on this being direct action against their oppressors- the tool's specificity should be moot as all revolutions are bloody and unclean- it's just that the tool they chose can unfortunately be thought on too closely and create some.... unkind or uncomfortable reads on the whole thing. Though, I guess revolutions aren't comfy subjects now are they?
IDK.
The final statement from the Gek does a lot for this though.
The First Spawn were unflinching in their resolve. The Gek would remain the evil empire they had been without this revolution- without this blood spilt.
They were incapable of changing without their course being altered; and the Gek of today only want to be happy and find it pitiable that their ancestors could not feel the way they feel today without "Help".
Every piece of Gek history I've found in-game thus far has followed how ruthless the First Spawn were- how lowly they thought of other races- and how incredibly disappointed they were in their children (which we now know why).
The First Spawn were in so many words, evil.
Greedy, forever expanding, resentful assholes- tag your favorite real life First-Spawn-stan and all that.
And the Gek of today are indeed different, and confronting why is painful for them, but focusing on the now they find their strives for happiness fulfilling.
It's interesting.
Also, interestingly enough, my character thinks on the simulation we placed Artemis' soul inside and claims it's a world run by arbitrary and unseen rules and follows with "How is life any different?" and that was neat. I know my ramble didn't emphasize this parallel well but ignore that- consider this a tangent- we focused on the simulation and how it's still a form of life and that was neat lol.
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