#'dad dropped me off why...'
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#;; fop chatter#LOOKIT how cozy this looks#the field lab one is 100% where you'd find addi in the kinglor forest randomly just 'girl howd u get here??'#'dad dropped me off why...'#this is what the inside of hells gate looks like no u cannot change mym ind
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i need content of codywan that just started working together like the first few months where their dynamic is cody barely resisting the urge to strangle his general and obi wan being like. already fucking head over heels for him.
like cody was expecting someone highly impressive based on his records so he obviously is excited to work with him cause his batchmates already met him on kamino and genosis and they all liked him which was, looking back, probably a prank on codys sanity and his bastard gremlin vode were absulately dying laughing at him. anyway so he obviously has high expectations and then this slutty "hello there" mf turns up with no self-preservation whatsoever, a feral demon child of a padawan, half the republic tailing him for every bullshit imaginable and beef with EVERY SINGLE SITH EVER???? WHICH HE SOLVES BY ???? FUCKING FLIRTING WITH THEM????? so you can imagine codys not having a great time.
meanwhile, obi wan daydreams about cody constantly. draws up their wedding invitations before even meeting him. praises him every opportunity he gets. kicks his feet and giggles about codys sarcastic comments ABOUT HIM while being in a room with CODY. stops talking in the middle of his sentence when he spots cody across the room and waves at him with the biggest smile possible. sets up regular sparring practices with the vode just so he MIGHT have an opportunity to be close to cody. labels the time when cody accidentally fell on him because of an explosion and touched his lips for 0.00001 milliseconds as their first kiss and gossips about it to quinlan. calls bant regularly to update her on everything cody does ever. buys every kind of tea and caf he can afford as an excuse to talk to cody and go into his courters. flirts with cody 24/7 and blushes tomato red when cody smirks at him and thinks about it so much he constantly walks into walls and tables and chairs and shinies and. breaks a table after cody stubs his toe into it. passes the fuck out when cody carries him this one (1) time, not bc of blood loss or anything simply too much attraction. constantly searches the force for codys signature even when they're not in the same system. calls him disgustingly sappy petnames in every other sentence. corners all of codys batchmates and asks thousands of questions about cody bc he cannot get them out of the man for the life of him and yes, wolffe, he absulately will die without knowing codys favorite color what kind of question is that. cody smiles once a month and obi wan thanks him everytime. cody hands him back his lightsaber for the first time and he proposes, loudly, cody ignores him completely and walks away. convinces anakin and ahsoka to drop "subtle" hints that he would be a good husband.
and everyone around them is having the time of their life watching codys right eye twitch whenever he's in a room with kenobi long enough while the man himself doesn't take his eyes off the commander during the entire 4 hour meeting and blushes everytime cody looks at him without a fail. cody barely refrains from throwing his datapad at his general when he suggests some self-sacrificing bullshit again.
it's truly like:
obi wan, beaming and eyes possibly gleaming with adoration: hello there, cody. how are you today?
cody, grinding his teeth together: fine, sir. wanted to talk to you about this report cause it's seems to be mistaken. surely, you're not thinking of blowing yourself up just so that TWO man, who are not even in any immediate danger whatsoever, can escape. right?
obi wan, brightening even further bc he loves their daily "banter": oh but of course, my dear, they're valuable men and anyway, i promised anakin he'd get to use the explosives this time.
cody, right eye starting to twitch horribly: right, of course, stupid of me to ask. one more thing, general, you wouldn't decommission me for anything i do, would you, sir ?
obi wan: what– darling, of course not. why would you–
cody: alright then [punches obi wan then walks away]
obi wan:
obi wan: i'm so in love with that man.
it's said that to this day obi wan still giggles in the most inappropriate times about that punch because cody was SO HANDSOME YOU DONT GET IT MACE THE LIGHT HIT HIM JUST RIGHT AND–
anyway codys hatred lasts till obi wan saves rex by putting himself in danger and when they get back, both bruised and bloody but amazingly alive and obi wan smiles at him like he always does with rex draped across his scarred shoulder, something in cody just settles and thinks. oh. oh. so this is what bly was talking about.
#this came to me in a dream#anakin wrinkles his nose and asks himself why would his dad be in love w the most boring mf ever then witnesses that punch and fucking#cheers cause he finally understands yeah the guy is great he once threw an orange at his masters head and obi wan was so busy staring into#his eyes he forgot to deflect and it him fair and square on the forehead and he fell backwards off his chair and everyone turned to cody#shrugged and muttered 'bastard fucking deserved it he know what he did' and fucking walked away. anakin never been prouder of#having a ba'vodu in his LIFE#anyways the point of all of this is thag obi wan is down TREMENDOUSLY and codys is unimpressed af and i need to see that more in fics#codywan#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#clone wars#tcw#sw#star wars#gay#also YOU KNOW i had to add bly YOU KNOW OK I AM TRULY CONVINCED HE WAS THE FIRST CLONE TO FALL IN LOVE AND TALK ABT ROMANTIC LOVE AND ALL#THAT SHIT AND THE VODE BEING SKEPTICAL LIKE IDK MAN MAYBE U WERE DROPPED AS A TUBIE TF ARE U TALKING ABOUT AND BLY INSISTING THAT 'JUST#ASK CODY HE UNDERSTAND' AND CODY BEING ABSULATELY MORTIFIED LIKE 'NO I DO NOT IF HE TRIED ANYTHING ID PUNCH HIM RED COULDN'T STOP ME THIS#TIME I WOUMD SO DO IT DO NOT TEST ME'#yes im in love with cody what about it honestly
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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My family has such a special ability to stress me out so bad
#my mom had a minor foot surgery a weekish ago#shes fine but she cant drive herself#she asked me to take her to wallgreens#ok. my sister came for some reason. why ?? just to annoy me#my mom had to critique my driving#my sister is asking for coffee all covert like so as to not ask in front of me but is still obviously asking in front of me#they are talking so much its getting on my nerves. i said im gonna sit in the car for a minute before i go inside#my dad came out???#bc i texted him earlier that i wanted to watch dw#so he told me he's ready to watch it whenever i am#ok. why didnt he just text me#i opened the car door to talk to him#the fricking alarm went off#and i dropped the key under the seat#when i put the key in he was like you could've just turned it on you didn't need to start it#ok!!!!!!!!!#i want to scream!!!!!!!!!#and nothing even that bad happened!!!!!!!!#im still sitting in car . 🙂
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My life is a sitcom
#WHY did my solicitor (the one dealing with my dads estate) enagage with a 45 MINUTE CONVERSATION about the Israel/Gaza war 😭😭#he’s Jewish and felt very Strongly about Everything and i was like. uhm. well I hear you. I hear you.#but if I go on to disagree with you will you make me pay extra tax or summ 💀#I was literallly going In to drop off dads death certificate and suddenly I’m defending the right for Palestinian self-determination#like BRO CAN U NOT SEE IM CRYING. PLEASEEEEEE#also ya before anyone asks I have logged the time down so if he tries to bill me for it I will get that shit striked off. because be SERIOUS
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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester#Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
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look, my dad is not a perfect man and he's not faultless in how disfunctional my parent's marriage is but at the same time I've been watching my mom bully him my whole life and now that my man-hating oma is living there with them it's even worse because now they tag team to make him miserable and it makes me so fucking angry
#text post#don't reblog#my mom had to borrow our car to take her dad to an appointment bc he can't get in any of the other vehicles#so she came over to drop it off and then walked next door to my aunt's house so they could go to a concert#and my mom's sitting in my kitchen on the phone with my dad informing him that once again my oma hired someone#to come do major work at the house (this time trimming all the trees) and he's not allowed to get mad#and my dad is just quit on the other line and then asks 'they're not doing anything to the apple tree right?'#bc genuinely i know my dad is upset they're springing shit on him without asking for his input again#but i also know the thing that would send him over the edge is the apple tree bc he loves that thing#and my mom just starts SCREAMING at him on the phone and then hangs up before he can respond#and then she starts yelling about him to me#and I'm sitting here like 'why the FUCK do you and oma keep doing this shit to him?'#i would never fucking do that to my partner#and now my dad's gonna go home and he's not gonna have anything to do and he's gonna feel like shit all night alone
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now that I like have a car and love to drive my friends around and would rather spend the gas money than make them bus home esp at night it truly is insane to me that my mom made me bus back and forth between her and my dads house with all of my stuff in the evenings after school for Years. like she could have picked me up and dropped me off but as soon as I could ride the bus alone I had to take it with my big backpack and suitcase and get hit on by 40 year old men alone at dark bus stops at night. wild
#like she had a car and did not mind driving#at the time it was just sort of annoying but now that I look back as a person with a car I'm like. what the hell#by far not her worst act as my parent but sort of sums up her approach to raising children#for context my dad did not have a car for the majority of my teenage years#but when he did he picked me up And dropped me off#and like the amount of times I was sick and she still made me take the bus and got mad at me when I got home late cuz I felt so gross#wild! and she wondered why I moved out literally the Second I turned 18#ghost posts#text
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knowing my dad is transphobic and witnessing it are somehow two different experiences every time and they both are fucking shit
#he initiated the conversation#'did you hear what happened at the olympics?' directed right at me. and then he said some bullshit#and i argued with him but trying to say as little as possible bc i just wanted to get out of there and also he just#gave me money and i really needed him to not take it back#then he goes 'oh i forgot - you're a liberal' p mockingly#to which i said 'no im just a decent person'#and his response to that was 'same thing'#which WHAT a fucking SELF OWN#i literally cheered right there at the kitchen table and he was confused so i pointed out what he said like 'you just admitted you're not#decent person!' and then he of course tried to say he never said that and that i'm the only one who said it#suresuresuresuresure old ma#whatever you say#my mom was writing checks on the other side of the table and i could see her trying not to smile#i left soon after#i felt like crying at that point but idk why#it's not like this is a first or a surprise#today was going alright so far too#going to stop at walmart and then mail some letters for my dad#(he's shit but i'm not gonna refuse to drop off bills for a disabled man when he asks)#and then i'm going fucking home to finish up some work and then do fuck-all#maison speaks
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Was having so much fun replaying p3p that I forgot that this game is bad lol
#the klock keeps ticking#i gotta get my ranting gear on its happening again#just got to the part where its revealed that shadow experiments happened at the school 10 years prior#and yeah its as badly written as I remember lol#like first off it really is just kinda like ‘ah yes the kirijo group experimented on kids and created the dark hour and we’re being#recruited to clean up their mess’ and the only one who seems to care is yukari but then like#oooh she cant be mad after all cuz her dad was in on it or whatever#and my favorite fucking guy Ikutski is there with a smile like ah yes yes the fucked up shit ah well anyways lets keep fighting lol#and its like briefly mentioned so fucking casually that mitsurus family involved her in this shit and forced her to awaken to a persona#when she was like 8 and you know. now she has to act as a tool to clean up their mess#and it’s like hold up now. why arent we talking about this aaaaaaa just gonna drop that bomb and leave#my favorite fucking part though is like afterwards all the little scenes we get of the characters processing this information#none really seeming to care all that much about the fucked up part theyre just like ‘damn the dark hour is gonna end’#and we get some of that iconic p3 dialogue where characters just look into the camera and explain their trauma before walking away#akihiko just goes up to shinji to be like ‘hey lol remember that we’re both orphans and thats how we know each other and also my sister#anyway Keep Looking Forward™️ bye’ and then fuuka looks into the camera like#‘yes btw my parents have an inferiority complex and thats why they abuse me which is why i dont mind being manipulated’#like she just. says that its so funny this game was written by a toaster#its so frustrating cuz the conflict could be so interesting but they handle it soooo boring and ignore all the parts that shouldnt be#oh mitsuru dont worry ill write you a better game to be in#come to the fat lesbian party where we kill the kirijo group with hammers
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I love writing Found Family, and I'm ngl, it's kinda why I stopped posting a lot of DCA content.
I did that thing where I stared at the characters for too long and said, "y'know, that's good sibling/guardian material" and then obliterated myself.
#light's spot#characters are either Siblings™️ or Dads™️ in my head anymore#and like not in any suggestive way either#characters I think I find attractive just end up being characters that I would like to Be around#and trust and care about and give cheek smooches to#but not be in any romantically-affiliated relationship with#like Sun + Light in Constant Orbit?#they're besties#they're literally the friends that ppl think are dating but they're genuinely not#and if they did it'd just be weird#(as much as I joke about it I don't see them together for realsies)#and Outside Upgrades started as a Sun/Moon × Reader but AEB became a Eclipse × Reader cuz that Sun/Moon felt like they'd have a sibling#dynamic w/ the reader#which is why I stopped working on Outside upgrades cuz it felt weird#and this won't stop me from letting the shipping and found family exist in my head w/ two diverging paths#but I realize it's like a Thing w/ me and usually hinders my enjoyment of reader × character ships...#and it's a big part of why I stopped posting dca stuff#cuz a lot of the fandom is still simping (I love y'all for it btw♡) and I don't think my found family junk would make for#interesting posts/content lmao#so sorry y'all for dropping off the face of the earth w/ that#we're continuing Constant Orbit obviously#but idk when my other dca stuff will resurface if ever
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Just remembered another fucked up paint story (will put in tags because idk I like talking in tags more than actually in the post)
#so my friend works in a shop in which they do a lot of stuff with tools. and they’ve recently moved location so they didn’t have a tool#board or anything. so she’s there by herself this one day; it’s a quiet day (because they’ve just opened and no one knows they’re there)#and she’s like ‘i’ve got this giant plank of wood; i’m going to make a tool board i can mount on this wall’. so she gets it sized#how she wants it and idk.. cuts and sands it. don’t ask me i’m not good at carpentry. but then she’s like ‘i want to paint this black so th#tools will show up better and it’ll show up against the wall and look good’ so she finds some black acrylic paint in the shop#quickly she realises that the shit is watery as fuck and it will probably take 6-7 coats to be opaque and she’s like.. i don’t have that#kind of time. i work 7 hour shifts. i have to serve customers and fix stuff with my tools#so she calls up this 83 year old man that she randomly knows? i still don’t know how she met this man. not that it’s weird to know an 83#year old man but i still don’t know under what circumstances she met him or why they continue each other’s acquaintance. anyway.#she rings him and he’s like ‘i’ve got this black paint that was my granddad’s. it’s yours if it’s still functional as paint’#so she takes him up on that and he drives to the shop (no idea if this man has a license or can see or even should be driving btw)#and drops off this gigantic tin of pre-war black paint. she opens it and it’s rock solid. the brush doesn’t go in. she has to stab it with#a chisel. however once she does that; the paint underneath is like a dream. the texture is perfectly smooth and opaque in one coat#she finishes painting though and her hands and forearms are COVERED in the stuff. and it doesn’t wash off#by the time she came to see me and told me this story she’d showered three times and scrubbed her arms and most of it was still on there#i was like ‘you realise that you are going to die of lead poisoning from this pre civil war lead paint right?’ and she was like ‘yep’#‘but look at the tool board!’ ‘fuck the tool board does look great actually’ ‘right??’#so that’s the story of the fucked up paint. what made me a little crazy is that that century old paint dried faster than whatever paint my#dad gave me to paint that model bomb shelter. how does that shit make sense#it didn’t dry up in the can over the course of a hundred years but it dried on the board. explain#personal
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So I’m just not allowed to have single happy moment huh? Not even for a fucking second?
#i believe that yeah mom maybe no one is perfect but I believe that you are pushing your luck - paraphrasing tfb here but ugh#parents will literally say you can tell them anything and then shame you for not being perfect#like fuck you#its not even that bad of a mistake#I accidentally left my car keys at the theater but I’m getting them tomorrow#it’s just that I’ll have to be dropped off and picked up at school by my dad#which he’s done for fucking years so it’s not like an inconvenience#you’re just an asshole who likes it when people feel bad#I’m already stressed because of fucking everything and this happens and I figure it out and handle it#but you can’t leave it alone you have to shame me#when I was younger and forgot my phone in the airport bathroom because I had been distracted by my period starting#you yelled at me in the middle of the fucking airport in front of everyone and made me cry even more#and then you apologized because you knew i was already feeling awful about it without you yelling at me#why did you bother apologizing when you do the same exact thing every fucking time I mess up#I hope you go to hell
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It's 6:30 and I haven't slept at all, from what I recall, I've almost been awake for 24 hours. I can't keep doing this (have been like this for years) I need to see a doctor about my unhealthy sleeping at some point lmao (will not see a doctor)
#my new main doc is so sexist i cba with him#debating taking me off anti depressents because he believes i'm just an emotional woman#jokes on him I stopped taking them because they made me sick#he also didnt wanna diagnose me with BDD until my 'husband' verifed it#sure lemme just ask the non existing husband of mine to ask him to tell you i see myself warped#it's on my record i'm single btw meaning he just thinks I should be married#so if I go to him saying i have insomia he'll start claiming it's because i'm a girl#oh when i told him i'm not married he asked if he could speak to my dad#good luck!!!! my dad talks to nobody he's worst than me in social situations#sky rambles ♡#never forget the time I had an earache and a nurse asked me i was on my period and thats why I was crying#honestly fucking killing myself at this point man can't do shit#i've had bad ear pains since birth 😭 you can't make this shit up#i've had actually blood pouring out from my ears and still been told i'm exaggerating#can't wait to drop dead and i'll still be declared as alive because i'm a silly woman who is over the top#am I emotional??? yes#is that the cause of all my mental issues? i don't think so I think that's more physical verbal emotional and mental abuse but go off#i really REALLY shoukd be medicated but the sickness and weight gain which wouldnt go away was too much
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.
#told my mom about the Bombshell my dad dropped on me & my brother 16 years ago tonight#only for him to call us shortly after to be like Um You MUST Be Misremembering. I Have a Good Memory And I Would KNOW If I Told You That#but. he has a terrible memory. he has memory problems that he refuses to acknowledge and gets VERY defensive about but like#my brother was there and we’ve talked about it…it’s also True Information that nobody else has EVER mentioned to me#(one Allusion from my mom’s stepbrother but he made it clear he would not tell us anything we didn’t already know.#but that was my first Genuine Outside Confirmation and that was only in 2021 lol)#huge weight off my chest it was not something he should have handled the way he did and then i just had to Know#but he DID NOT FUCKING REMEMBER!!!!!!!!! one of the defining moments of my adolescence him turning around in the fucking driveway saying#you kids know that [redacted] right? that’s why i sold the business#and then getting out of the car. like that Changed Me#anyway now that my mom knows we know she’s going to finally give us the further information i have desperately wanted for uh#more than half my life lmao#god bless#i’ve been working up to telling her for a few months since i finally worked through my anger @ him but it just suddenly. Was Time#nerve wracking but then nobody could get mad at me because he DIDNT EVEN REMEMBER TELLING US!!!! it was about his memory problems instead!!#alhpd
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my dad: “you should come home earlier so you can spend time with your mother”
me, internally: why the fuck would I do that
#shhh sharkie#I’m specifically a) lying to him about where i’m spending the night tonight#and b) spending as little time at home tomorrow as I can before I come back to the city#I have zero desire to spend any quality time with either of my parents rn#I’m driving to nyc to spend the night with my person tonight and sleep over with them#and then finishing the drive to ct tomorrow to drop off the car and then amtrak the fuck out of there#he’s trying to guilt trip me into spending the night in ct instead of nyc but like why would I do that#yeah i’d love to have an uncomfortable evening with a group of passive aggressive people who judge me and my life#and watch a shitty movie i’ll hate and be judged for how many glasses of wine I have#definitely better than getting free drinks at a gourmet restaurant while i wait for my SO to finish up work#and then go smoke/drink and get lovingly railed within an inch of my life#definitely time with my parents is worth more than that 🙄#edit: coming back to this about a month later (2/2) and i kinda do wish i had arrived earlier to say hi to mom but still#more in that like. my parents have this preconceived notion that I hate them but that isn’t true#and i’d like as many opportunities as i can to disprove that#but also my mom is a self-centered narcissist and any slight against her is the worst crime in the world#so i’m okay missing her. but i did still want to see her.#or any of my siblings. it was just my dad and the pets.#which is great! i love how each of the dogs greet everyone#have to deal with Daisy first cause she needs to be Held and tell you she loves you#and then Dolly needs to lick all the moisturizer off your face and be a little potato#and Odie whines and patiently waits his turn but then he gets swaddled with affection#it’s a whole routine i love them all so much#and i miss my girl so much
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