#'child its 4am go to sleep'
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..... feeling a little called out here, ngl
#gegege no kitarou#gegege no kitaro#medama oyaji#eyeball dad#gegege no ge#sdfgdfghsfgds just. incredible moment yesterday#eyeball dad reaching through the screen like#'child its 4am go to sleep'#'child stop watching a 60yo anime at 4am'#keeping the need to watch genazo at bay#by watching various kitarou things#i really like the voices and music#of the original '68 anime#for some reason i expected the episodes to be shorter#idk why. cool that that was standardized so early#idk i just think its interesting#i also watched some hakaba kitarou and Boy
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headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again
#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something#asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao#so then he hates hospitals with a passion#my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so#headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao#im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao#it just made draco that little bit more protective#lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands#this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child#he has sick child energy lmfao#he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently#just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally#breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days#let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast#but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system#got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling#scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha#timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE#(he absolutely was not fine)#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#draco malfoy#hpcc#scorbus#this is so many tags im so sorry
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I AM!! PUTTING GENUINE EFFORT INTO GETTING A HEALTHIER SLEEP SCHEDULE!! 🎉🎉🎉 *crowd cheering.mp3*
#YAY ME#NO MORE GOING TO SLEEP AT 4AM AND WAKING UP AT 6AM ON SCHOOL NIGHTS BABYYY#THE FACT THAT I AM PUTTING ACTUAL AND CONSCIOUS EFFORT INTO THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY AMAZING FOR A STUBBORN BASTARD SUCH AS MYSELF#AYYYYYY#the only problem is that my body got used to living with only 2 hours of sleep and won't!! let me get tired at reasonable times!!!#i am SO AWAKE at 3am it's kinda bad....#Its not even insomnia- its the ✨️ unmedicated crippling executive dysfunction ✨️#my post#just wanted to share this because i felt very proud of myself for it!! it's very silly and childish but I AM a child- shaddup#silly chatters
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Armand's podcast chiarobscuro on obscure art history is just him speaking in a monotone for 1 hour about 1 page of 1 illuminated manuscript nd it's coincidentally number 1 trending on pods because people use it as a sleep aid. but then sometimes in the middle of it he'll say something incredibly disturbing and a cult (haha.) following starts claiming there are hidden subliminals in it which are allegations Armand never acknowledges and which people on twitter roast but reality shifters on tik tok get increasingly into. Daniels podcast by/line is beat out consistently by pod save America which is totally fine and not contributing to his alcoholism or his divorce or his psychosexual obsession with armand. he won't listen to armands podcast as a point of principle except for when he puts it on to fall asleep and then gets weirdly turned on and then pavlovs himself into arousal every time he hears armands voice. one sided psychological torture. Armand's cult (haha.) following continues to grow until lestat's podcast lestat (self-titled) filed in culture & the arts blows up and usurps him even though its an hour and a half one-man monologue about quite genuinely nothing at all, though worryingly often, his mother. and Louis? well Louis isnt privy to any of this because he has a child to raise and zones out whenever lestat starts talking about renting out a bigger recording studio for his podcast so that he can have guests on and invest in sound equipment FOR CLAUDIAS FUTURE, OF COURSE. her college fund Louis! the dividends will go toward her college fund. ahaha. what is the definition of this: dividends. Louis gets curious and listens to lestats podcast but gets distracted by recommended for you: chiarobscuro, finds it interesting enough that he doesn't fall asleep, and mentions it offhandedly to lestat after telling him lestat (self-titled) is cute. lestat is distracted by the high of being told Louis likes his podcast but wakes up in the middle of the night sitting straight up in bed when he remembers Louis said "chiarobscuro" in passing at precisely 7:46am this morning. lestat who has armand in his phone represented by the 🕴🏼emoji from college (Louis doesnt know he knows him, lestat has never once mentioned him) calls him from the bathroom at 4am and demands he immediately end his podcasting career. armand who of course answered at 4am counters that they meet in a neutral location to discuss terms. at 5am lestat and armand meet at a park. lestat rages, scaring off several sunrise joggers and their dogs. armand allows this to happen in silence and then says look across the pond. at which point lestat does and sees a bedraggled 50 year old white man plodding along with bodega coffee. you needn't worry about your Louis, says armand. I have a different project. I have been implanting subliminal messages in my podcasts in order to lure Molloy into my thrall. lestat, grudgingly impressed, concedes and stops to get coffee for the family before going back home. Louis and claudia are delighted by the impromptu breakfast and lestat is offered a special shower time reward. before disrobing, and working quickly, he hacks Louis' phone (passcode claudia's birthday) and in a fit of true selfless sacrifice deletes not just Louis' subscription to chiarobscuro, but his podcast app as a whole--damning his own podcast to never again be heard by Louis but removing armand permanently from their lives forever. he joins Louis in the shower, stunned by his own genius. perhaps he will have that worm molloy on his show in order to thwart armands plans. lestat 2 armand 0. it's almost enough to ease the burn of armand telling lestat in their audio production class in college that he's too dumb to start a podcast
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⊹ ࣪ ˖ SAVED NUMBERS
summary: you’re not the only one trying to keep it together (conversations over the phone) based off this scene from summer strike. characters: alhaitham, kinich, childe notes: fluff, teasing, mention of anxiety in kinich’s, wc: 1.3k
alhaitham
A sudden pattern of musical chimes sliced through the silence of the dark bedroom.
Automatically, a cathartic groan and yawn escape from your mouth as you blindly manoeuvred your hand across your nightstand, finally seizing the source of the irritating noise. A tap of your finger revealed the time and responsible caller.
“Is he crazy?” you abruptly sat up, roughly rubbing your eyes as if it there were some kind of mistake. “It’s 4am, for goodness sake.” Nevertheless, your finger swiped to answer the call, sinking yourself back into the warmth of the thick blankets and pillows and holding the phone close to your ear.
“Do you know what time it is?” you drawled, switching your attention from the ceiling to the phone.
“I couldn’t sleep,” came a breathy reply, those three words fluctuating in audibility. A faint hint of laughter. “But to answer your question, yes I do. It’s 4:06am.”
His voice is tender and doused in fatigue, a rare state to find the illustrious scribe. Gentle rustling of a comforter and indistinct breaths over the line. How close was he holding the phone? As if instinctual, you raise a hand against your lips to suppress any traces of nervousness and regulate the rapid beating echoing in your chest.
“You haven’t fallen asleep yet, have you?” he asked albeit suddenly, the sounds of movement halting.
You turned over and pulled the blanket to signify your consciousness, clearing your throat. “No,” then smiling as you added, “does my absence go as far as to completely disturb your precious sleep?”
Despite the cool emptiness of the night, the momentous distance that separated you both felt unimportant and forgotten. “You’re so bold.” Imperceptible traces of adoration intertwining within his voice, “but you’ve never been wrong when it comes to me.”
kinich
The scent of salt and sweet fruit juice swept through the open window of your rented cabin, sweeping the sheer curtains that adorned the wooden sides in graceful arches. Beyond the intricate frames stretched the breathtaking vastness of a tired sky, dwindling from its vibrant hues to a soothing navy blue, the prelude to a serene night blessed with stars. Faraway music and laughter echoed through the rolling hills of the People of the Springs, their infectious celebrations spilling through the evening, washing away any last remnants of worry or doubt that were previously clawing in your guts. It felt strange, almost eerie, somehow. Everything that once seemed so big and important felt so small and trivial against the quiet sanctuary where thoughts could gather by choice. This fragile feeling of saturated peace was always depicted as something temporary, and perhaps it was, but its value always lasted infinitely.
You take a step back and turn yourself to survey the cabin, leaning your hands against the windowsill. A coastal design with a minimal palette of blues and greys. Warm lamps scattered from the corners of the room to the ceilings of the ensuite. Puffy armchairs and beige bohemian couches around the edges of the bed, generously sized and cocooned by thick blankets and billowy pillows.
From beneath one of the blankets, a faint light emits through the fabric, simultaneous with the constant vibrating. The contact name elicits a soft smile, wasting no time to slide your finger to answer the call.
“I thought you’d forget,” you admitted, sinking yourself into the plush mattress. You laid on your back, an outstretched arm over your head as another held the phone.
“I’m offended that you thought so,” came his lofty reply. He was always so casual with his way of speaking. Blunt in some eyes, but equally endearing.
“I don’t have much time before Ajaw comes back,” and as if sensing your confusion, he adds, “I sent him on an… impromptu and urgent mission.”
His earnestness, so refreshing in the midst of such a quiet evening, brought forth a fit of laughter that resonated in your chest, and spread through the form of euphoria into your veins, warm and delicately precious. “It’s not late yet. Did you trick Ajaw into completing your commissions for you?”
His response was a half-hearted ‘hmm’. If this was a video call, you’re 99% sure that it would be accompanied by an even more half-hearted shrug. A moment to close his eyes, too.
“Poor Ajaw,” you jested, leaning to your side. “Out doing his master’s work while he handles other things he deems more important.”
“This is more important,” Kinich replies thoughtfully. “I wanted to say I love you before you went to sleep.”
For a fleeting moment, you’re completely suspended in silence, as if time momentarily halted. Did you hear that right? Of course you did; it wasn’t anything shocking. He was probably teasing you, provoking a reaction, like usual.
“The sun is still setting; what made you think I’d sleep this early?” You were nosy now, curiosity piqued at what he had to reason. I wanted to say I love you. It chanted like a spell, casting you into a dazed and smiling mess. I wanted to say I love you.
“The People of the Springs pride themselves on their bustling atmosphere. You’re not the type to miss out on that. Knowing you, you’ve probably exhausted yourself and are lying in bed as we speak.”
Bingo, bingo, and bingo.
childe
Only three more hours…
Boredom and exhaustion rippled through your body as you cupped your face in your hands, leaning absentmindedly over the front counter of the Northland Bank. Ornamental decorations occasionally twinkled when someone would enter, lazily drifting for a few seconds before falling back right into place, mirroring your state quite accurately. Each person was greeted in the same, uniform way. You’d briskly straighten with a polished smile, brightly posing a list of questions everyone would be asked before slouching back down once you successfully redirected them to an appropriate staff member.
“It would probably be dark by the time I’m out,” you mumbled with a ghost of a pout at the door, gazing half-heartedly at the tinted panels lined near the ceiling. Spotting a loose pen on the floor, you bent to retrieve it when the sound of a phone ringing from a cupboard caught your attention.
Answering personal calls while on the job was a strict regulation that was generally prohibited. Even so, you pondered, folding your arms and sneaking sideways peeks at the entries to empty hallways, so painfully desolate that even it too seemed opposed to any opportunity for distraction, those heedless and sickeningly pompous higher-ups would never dream of working on a Saturday afternoon, more or less care if a forgettable receptionist were to be caught on the phone.
“Hello?” you answered flatly, clearly disinterested in who the caller was from the way you didn’t bother to check the contact name before holding the phone close to your ear. Indistinct sounds of metal clashing and dull thuds echoed in response, and oddly, the bubbling of rushing water.
“Hello?” you repeated once again, a bit more forcefully in case the recipient couldn’t hear over the bizarre assortment of noises. A new round of agitation flushed through your body at the callers purposeful disregard, heat clambering up your face. Within the second you seriously contemplated hanging up, a panting voice emerged, and with it, a fervent series of persistent coughing and choking.
“Hey, don’t hang..up,” the voice, weak but evenly enthusiastic. “Sorry about that, I called, then a random army of treasure hoarders started attacking me from nowhere, and I had to-“
“Is this who I think it is?” Pausing in disbelief from amazement, you felt surges of every possible emotion colliding against each other in nauseating rounds inside your head. Hearing his voice so close by your ear whilst being surrounded by the bleakest of places felt like a taste of something divinely transcendental.
“Who else?” a breathless laugh came from the person on the other line. “I know…you told me to not call you unless it was an emergency, but hey, i’ve got your attention now, and I’d like to savour that for as long as I can.”
#genshin fluff#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#alhaitham x reader#kinich x reader#kinich x you#childe x reader#anya writes ᝰ.ᐟ
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Tommy Shelby- The Truth Always Comes Out
9 months ago YN YLN did something that she wasn’t proud of, she was drunk and she’d had an argument with her husband. So she ran to a man who she could always trust, a man who she’d secretly always loved even if he didn’t love her back, a man she had known her whole life. His name. Tommy Shelby. The night in question started off as him comforting her, but the more whisky that was drank the more bold the pair got landing YN in he best friends bed. She had cheated on her husband.
Weeks later YN had started to feel unwell, she went to the doctors who confirmed she was pregnant. Now YN knew that it could not be her husband’s because their sex life had been nonexistent, it was Tommy’s baby, she knew for sure.
YN had kept her pregnancy a secret for 9 months, it wasn’t to hard since her husband had been away for the remainder part of her pregnancy which is when she really popped.
12th September
The day was a gloomy one, rain had set in and YN had started off the day with a dull ache in her lower back. Ignoring it YN had carried on the day as normal. The dull ache through the day had progressively gotten worse to the point that in the early hours of the morning YN knew that she was in fact in labour. Crying out in pain she manages to get to her phone and call the closest person to her, Ada
“Come on come on” she brags hearing the rings then finally the sweet, tired voice of Ada comes through
“Hello?”
“Ada” YNs voice squeaks laced in pain
“YN is that you? what’s wrong why are you phoning me me at.. 4am?”
“Ada I need your help. Please I can… ahhhh” water trickles down her legs “Ada I’m having a baby, I need your help. Please” she cries into the phone
“Ok I’m coming” with that YN puts the phone down and waddles to her living room waiting for the Shelby sister to arrive. Each contraction hit her harder than the last.
In no time at all Ada bursts through YN’s front door to find her covered in sweat and tears
“Ada”
“It’s ok YN I’m here, ok we’re going to do this together ok?” YN only nods her head slightly unable to speak as another contraction hits “let’s take a look shall we?” Ada checks between YNs legs gasping “this babies coming now YN I can see its head. You need to push when you have another contraction ok?”
“Ada i can’t do this”
“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice. Now come on YN”
Who know how long YN had been in labour for, at least 20 hours or more, but after 10 minutes of pushing YN held a newborn boy in her arms
“Why isn’t Richard here if you were so close to having a baby?” Ada asks tidying up “wait did you know you were pregnant?”
“Oh Ada” YNs eyes glass over with tears
“YN what is it what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know what to do, he’s not Richard’s” YN cries finally telling someone about her awful actions
“What do you mean he’s not… did you sleep with someone else?” YN sadly nods her head “when? who?”
“We haven’t been doing well for a while, he had spoken about a divorce and in my family your disowned. We got in an argument one night and I… shit Ada I went to see Tommy”
“This is my brothers child!” Ada shouts causing the newborn babe to start crying “sorry” she says softly looking at the baby being rocked in YNs arms “why didn’t you tell someone? Have you hidden this pregnancy the whole time?” YN nods her head
“I couldn’t say anything because what would I haven been seen as? I cheated on my husband. I couldn’t pretend that the baby was his because we haven’t slept with each other for over a year. He still wants a divorce that’s why he’s in America away from me”
“Oh YN, come here” Ada’s placed her arm over her friends shoulders in an act to try and comfort her “first of all he left you, you might still be officially married but I think your relationship ended the night he wanted a divorce. Do you love him?”
“Richard? At one point yes but not for a long time”
“I wasn’t talking about Richard” Ada gives YN a small smile
“Tommy? Oh errm I… I’ve… I guess I…”
“I think I know the answer. You can’t hide his child from him YN, you’ve got to tell him”
“I’ve hidden my pregnancy from him, he’ll hate me”
“Trust me he won’t. Now let me have cuddles with my nephew and you get some sleep” Ada takes the baby in her arms before helping YN get comfortable in her bed “I’ll stay here as long as you need me to. I’ll come with you to see Tommy if you want”
“Thank you Ada, truly”
#peaky blinders#peaky blinders reader#peaky blinders x reader#tommy shelby x y/n#tommy shelby x you#tommy shelby x oc#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby imagine#tommy shelby
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Mommy's good boy
(a mini-sequel to Mommy's milk )
cw: mommy kink, sub konig, tit play, praise kink, oral, very smutty
After that little encounter between you and König finding out he is turned on by lactating from your tits along with a mommy kink, He's been more on edge lately to do it again which today was his lucky day. since he would be coming home from overseas from a mission.
You had sent your child over to your parent's house for a couple days since they really wanted the chance to see their grandbaby and spoil them, your mother had given you a smirk knowing why you wanted to drop off the kid with her and you were just straight up honest, you wanted to spend time with König for a couple of days. your mom said nothing and kissed your cheek making sure you had fun with him.
So here you were it was past 2am nothing out of the ordinary since he always came back late. Soon hours passed as it slowly rolled to 4am You had texted König but he wasn't answering, it was probably due to no service over there you didn't blame him. After all, you guys had a week together without a screaming baby interrupting both of you. you got up from the couch making your way to bed you removed your robe placing it on a chair close to the vanity. climbing onto the bed you pulled the sheets over your body slowly drifting away to sleep.
Half an hour later König walks through the door, turning on the lights of the living room he sets his belongings down carefully making sure he doesn't wake you or his kid up. walking to the kitchen König sees saw the large plate of food wrapped in plastic wrap to protect it and one light on in the kitchen. You always made sure that König had a plate of food waiting for him to come home at a decent time. He heated up what he needed and shoveled all of it in his mouth as quietly as he could.
He could feel his chest rumbling from the moaning. After feeding his stomach, he took a shower, allowing the dirt and grime, dirt, and blood from his body. When he stepped out of the shower, he patched up the minor cuts and scrapes he got throughout his mission.
Quickly going on to check his child the crib was empty, panic set in he quickly and quietly dashed to your shared room with him, finding you asleep he sighed in relief as he saw you there but was still confused about why his kid is not there, sure only you would hold these answers.
he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt along with removing his mask to sleep in before heading to bed. He smiled at you sleeping peacefully, wrapped up in all the covers from the stomach down. you were in a tank top, exposing your beautiful skin. Konig crawled into bed and stared at you for a while. His eyes trailed from the top of your body down to her hip which was covered. He placed a small kiss on your forehead before his attention was drawn to the necklace around their neck. It was of a Heart with its initials on the belly of the heart.
It was small enough not to worry him too much when she fell asleep with it on. Then his eyes trailed more to your breast. It was slightly cold in the room, making your nipples peek through the fabric of the tank top. For some reason, tonight, his mind became fuzzy with the stress of everything. His one goal was to wrap his lips around the nipple to softly suckle until his mind went blank. Keeping his eyes on your face to make sure you were still fast asleep.
All of today's dark, echoing thoughts vanish in the background and allow his mind to suckle on your breast mindlessly. His eyes focused on her breathing, watching for any signs and movement, and he cuddled close to her head, his head under her chin. All you did to move was wrap an arm around him, still sleeping.
“This is wrong. This is bad, like really bad she is going to hate you !” his mind screamed.
He wrapped his arm around your, pressing his body as close to you as possible. you still didn’t move. Using the tip of his finger, he grazed the top of the tank top, carefully pulling it down far enough to reveal your nipple. your skin was soft under his touch, your breast large and filled with milk enough for him to cup with both hands comfortable with still spillage between his fingers. It looked so comforting yet arousing, but his lack of erection signaled it to move.
Slowly he wrapped his lips around the nipple, not moving. When he felt your body stiffen in his arms, he tried to pull away. But your hand cupped the back of his head, keeping him in place. your breathing was not heavy, just slow and calm.
He took a tiny suck, waiting for her reaction, but none came. His eyes looked for your facial response, but it was still as peaceful. König began to suckle, not daring to move his hands, his eyes trained on your reaction, but still nothing. When he felt comfortable, he moved his arm to pull the blanket around your body, covering his shoulders and suckling until he fell asleep. For the first time in a few weeks, he slept with no nightmares.
roughly a couple of minutes after Konig fell asleep you woke up. There was a sharp tug on your nipple that jarred you fully awake. Not moving, out of fear of making whatever is sucking on her upset, you kept your hands where they were. you looked down to see Konig’s mouth around your nipple, sleeping peacefully. He still suckled in his sleep, but it wasn’t in a sexual way.
When König wanted to arouse you sexually, he would suckle on her neck, leaving hickeys, and his hands would trail to her core. This time was different. The suckling was soft, and your skin was tickled by his peaceful breathing.
He looked cute as you moved to stroke his head softly. You felt no desire to remove him from your breast. Your hand stroked his hair, watching for a moment as he rested before she too felt tired again. With one kiss on your forehead, you fell asleep as you were nursing your Husband.
Neither of you would wake up until noon. The haze of König was gone when he woke up. He blinked, surprised to see your breast instead of your hair or pillow, his mouth busy with the hardened nipple in his mouth. He pulled away slowly, nervous about what he had done while you began to wake up. König tucked your breast back into your tank top, praying that she would fall asleep, but his wrist was caught. your eyes blinked at him, watching his eyes build up with anxious tears, causing you to sit up and take his face in your hands.
"König its okay just breathe."
He shook his head, nearly shrinking into himself as he began to mumble out an apology.
“Konig, I’m not angry. I want you to look at me.”
Konig looked up, struggling to fight back his tears as he sniffled softly.
“Thank you” you kissed his forehead. “Let’s just talk about what happened and then take it from there.”
“Okay,” he reached himself forward while hugging her tightly.
You both sat there, cuddled close together before any of you began to talk. He spoke of how shitty the mission was and how he just wanted to feel protected for once—seeing your nipples poking made him want nothing more but to be lost in your chest. He apologized for touching your without permission and swore never to do it again.
you shook your head and kissed his forehead, saying you didn't mind. König always loved the fact you were to nurse him even though you already had a kid which was a lot to tend to but you always made time for him. and now it was his turn to be taken care of. She can remember the first time. When they began to make love during their honeymoon, it was an experience.
They both had highly long stairs, going for roughly four rounds until you were both exhausted. you both were also animistic in a way. Groans and moans and aggressive skin slapping filled the room as it shifted from lovemaking to fucking. In the first round, they worship each other, König more than you. He was between your legs, overwhelmed by the scent of her core, but he kept his eyes locked on hers.
“Ask me,” you ordered softly, already knowing what he was thinking of.
“Please let me lick you m….”
“Say it,” she said, reaching her hand down to stroke his bottom lip.
“Please let me lick your pussy, Mommy, please,” Konig begged as he caught your thumb in his mouth, sucking slowly.
“Lick mommy’s pussy, baby,” she moved her hand behind his head, pushing him at her core.
Praise fell from your mouth, encouraging his mouth to work overtime, forcing you to climax. He spelled both of their full names with his tongue, barely able to finish his last name before you came into his mouth. He swallowed every drop, encouraged by your head pets.
“That’s it, baby, don’t waste a drop.” you panted as he moved to push your legs back.
The air tickles your wet folds causing you to laugh and soon turn to moan as his heavy tongue lap you up. Konig could never answer how little it turned him on to have himself sucked off, but each time you attempted, he would whimper and tell her no that he just wanted to focus on pleasuring you. When he pulled up to look at you, his lips were puffy and dripping with spit and your juices. He lapped his tongue over his lips and moved forward to nuzzle his nose against yours.
"B-better... then last time m-mommy"
“So much better, baby boy. You are such a good boy,” the kisses sloppily, both of yours arms wrapped around each other.
Soon Konig was on top of her, slipping on the condom and squirting lube on his cock. you pumped him slowly, spreading it while you moved to bite his lip. When he pierced your body, you both screamed in each other's mouths in pleasure, tangled in each other as König thrust inside you. His thumb stayed on your clit, rubbing small slow circles as he began to pick up his thrusting. you moaned and screamed as he thrust inside of you, blabbing about how he was a good boy for you.
“Oh fuck Koni….your such a good boy….your mommy's good boy,” then he snapped.
He buried his face in your neck, moving his hands to clutch your thighs as he snapped deeper inside of you. He moves his knees up, keeping your legs high enough to pound you as he moved one hand to cover your screaming mouth, not needing another noise complaint.
“Fuck !” he growled in your neck repeatedly while pounding into you.
After the last three strokes, he came inside the condom, pushing himself balls deep inside of you. He panted shakily, his voice whispering Mommy until he emptied all of himself. He trusted himself a few more times, not caring for his sensitivity, wanting to wring out your orgasm. you came, shakily gripping his hair to pull him back to kiss him.
“Fuck Konig fuck that felt good,” you giggled while kissing his face.
His eyes were hazed over again, this time out of exhaustion, before nuzzling into her neck. you kissed his forehead, waiting for him to release his tight grip on your waist. When the shaky panting stopped, he pulled away and curled onto his side. He slipped the condom off, carefully tying it off before tossing it in the trash can beside the bed. He rolled over, looking at you, reaching for you with a soft whimper.
“Cuddle me,” he whispered, his voice turning softer.
“You wanna cuddle?” you said, mirroring his tone with a smile.
“Yeah,” he nodded, his eyes big with want.
Wrapped your arms around him, you carefully pulled him to his chest, his lip wrapped around your nipple, and suckled until his breathing slowed. When the both of you calmed down, neither moved to remove away and clean up.
“Mommy missed you baby,” you said, playing with his hair.
#cod mw2#mw2 smut#konig smut#konig x you#cod konig#konig x reader#konig cod#mw2 konig#mw2#mwii smut#cod smut#konig modern warfare#konig call of duty#mw2 spoilers
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One Night Stand Pt2 (e.o)
Part 2 was requested hope you enjoy it 😊
Lizzie x G!P reader
the one night stand one shots are also 2 of my favourites haha
Y/ns POV:
It's been 3 month since I've found out I'm going to be a mom and honestly I'm so fucking excited I've been there for lizzie day and night she was hesitant at first but I assured her I wanted to be there even if it was something stupid like Mcdonalds cravings at 4am and she's had alot of them but I honestly don't mind its my fault she has the crazy cravings and honestly the look on her face when i turn up with her food is priceless shes so fucking adorable, I'm currently on my way to pick her up we have a 3 month scan or check up I'm not 100% sure I pull up outside her house and climb out of the car and head to the front door knocking after a few minutes a glowing lizzie opens the door with a smile "y/n heyyy right on time" she beams me a smile as she leans in to hug me "lizzie hey you look amazing, pregnancy looks amazing on you" I tease hugging her tight "shut up I'm in this position partly because of you" I giggle and take her hand "well gorgeous it takes 2 to tango you wanted me desperately remember " I smirk teasing her playfully, i open her door as we head to the doctors office chatting and laughing "you know I can't wait to find out what we're having so I can spoil my little Prince or princess" I say with a smile and she looks at me with a strange look it looks like she's admiring me "you're gonna be a great mom you've been nothing but supportive towards me and i appreciate you" she smiles placing her hand on my hand "I told you at the start I wanted to be here for you and our baby" I lift her hand and place a gently kiss on it as I park and we head into the doctors office.
20 minutes later her name gets called "Elizabeth Olsen " the nurse yells and we stand up to head inside I take her hand to reassure her as we walk into the office "hey doc" I smile as I sit on the chair and lizzie lays on the bed "so you guys excited to find out what your having" she smiles bright and I nod excitedly "so excited I squeeze lizzies hand" the doctor does her thing and looks over at me "so are you guys together " she bites her lip as I look at lizzie confused then at the doctor "um no were not together but I plan on being there for her and our baby, why" she smirks as she looks at lizzie then back at me "well can I have your number I'd love to take you out for dinner and a few drinks" I feel a little awkward and rub my neck as lizzie looks at me with disgust "you can go out with her with you want y/n" she says with a hint of sadness to her voice I look at the doctor "I'm sorry I'm not really looking to date or hook up with anyone at the moment Elizabeth and our unborn child are my only priority for the foreseeable I'm sorry" she looks disappointed and then smiles "no I understand by the way you guys are having a baby girl " I smile and look at lizzie as she smiles "Holy shit were having a baby girl" my eyes start to water as the tears flow and I lean down to hug lizzie.
after i dropped lizzie home i went home to relax and look into buying stuff for my daughter im currently looking at cribs as my phone dings grabbing my attention as i grab it a smile appears on my face as i see lizzies name on the screen
Lizzie: Hey thank you for being there today it meant alot youre an amazing human being and the doctor would have been lucky to get a date with you x
Me: My priority isn't to date someone at the moment you and our baby are my priority maybe in a year or 2 when we get everything sorted and know what we're doing with our daughter but until I know my baby is going to have a stable routine dating can wait 🤷🏼♀️ also why arnt you asleep lizzie it's almost 1am
I send the text and smile moving the laptop onto the couch as my phone dings again
Lizze: Well me and our daughter are lucky to have someone who's willing to put us first before some skank, and I um I can't sleep I have cravings I really want Mcdonalds and tacos
I giggle and put my clothes on grabbing my car keys and phone heading straight to my car without replying to her text I go to Mcdonalds and get her the normal cravings she's gross she dips the nuggets into the strawberry milkshake but it's cute after Mcdonalds I head to get tacos and drive to her house I get there roughly 15 minutes after she text me, I knock and step back waiting after a few minutes lizzie opens the door and instantly smiles wide "y/n omg what are you doing here" I pull the bags from behind my back and smirk "delivery for my baby mama"
I walk inside as she wraps her arms around me "god your fucking amazing and perfect thank you " we go sit on the couch and eat in comfortable silence I can't help but steal glances she's fucking beautiful "y/n..." she whispers looking at me "what's up gorgeous you ok" she gets closer to me and rubs my arm "I need something else that I don't want from anyone else except you" I look at her confused "and what would that be Elizabeth " she bites her lip and climbs on top of my lap straddling me, I bite my lip as I take in what's happening "I need you inside me im so horny y/n and I want you I've tried to hold back for so long but I need you" I place my hands on her waist and lean in placing a gentle kiss on her neck as she let's out a content sigh and holds my hair "please I need you no teasing I'm to horny" with that I pick her up holding her by the ass and head upstairs to her bedroom I'm not gonna lie I'm so horny too I've not slept with anyone since lizzie and doing it alone isn't the same "such a needy little slut for my cock huh" she moans and nods as I smirk and place her on the bed gently as I start to take my clothes off and she does the same till we're both naked she lays back looking at me longingly biting her lip "fuck lizzie you looks so fucking gorgeous you're perfect " I take in her body as I step forward "Holy shit look at those tits" I say with a grin they're huge "well someone decided to knock me up now they're twice as big" she giggles as she plays with my nipples earing a moan, I lean down and kiss her as my dick rubs against her soaking wet cunt fuck she's dripping "your needy little cunt is dripping baby" I whisper into her ear as her nails dig into my shoulders "I think about you when I touch myself when I need to cum I think about your dick deep inside me" I let out a groan and slide my dick inside her slowly as she gasps digging her nails in more "fuckk I forgot how big you actually where y/n" her moans are music to my ears I start thrusting slowly looking deep into her eyes and smirk "shit should we use a condom don't want to risk getting you pregnant " we both laugh as I kiss her perfect lips thrusting a little faster as moans into my mouth "uhhh yes right there y/n right fucking there" I pick up my pace making sure to hit the spot that drives her wild over and over I feel the knot in my stomach as lizzie cums all over my cock panting breathing heavily "fuck baby give me one more"
I moan as I lean my head against hers and pick up my pace chasing my own high "so fucking tight for me lizzie" I moan fucking her a little faster as her tits bounce like mad "all for you baby my pussy is yours no one will ever pleasure me like you" I bite my lip as her walls tighten around my cock and she creams all over me again her moans and screams are enough to send me over the edge I thrust a few more times as I cum deep inside her cunt "fuckkkk lizzie" I moan as I go to slide out and she whimpers "no y/n no please keep it in I wanna cuddle with you with your dick inside me i wanna feel your body close to mine i wanna feel close to you" i feel my dick twitch and get hard again as she moans at the feeling of my dick growing inside her, I lay on my side pulling her close to me with my dick still buried inside her and place a kiss on her shoulder "you know I think it would make more sense if you lived here instead of always travelling especially at crazy times of the night when youre always bringing my craving meals" she whispers running her fingers up and down my arm as I hold her "the only problem with that is I'd fall even deeper inlove with you" I whisper as she turns and looks at me "then its going to be perfect because I'm inlove with you too the way you're always there for me putting me and our baby first I couldn't help but fall inlove with you y/n" I smile and hold her closer "god I love you lizzie and if your being serious I'd love to move in plus gotta make sure you have my dick on call 24/7 " i joke as we both giggle and spend the next hour talking until she falls asleep in my arms.
AN: let me know your thoughts I've basically left this little story open for more chapters if that's what anyone wants haha requestes are open sorry I didn't post yesterday 😅 but I'll have a few for yall today word count is almost 1.7k (damn this having to repost is time consuming bruh) 😂
#elizabeth olsen#lizzie olsen#marvel mcu#fanfic#mcu fanfiction#oneshot#smut#wattpad#lizzieislife94x#mcu#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff imagine#wanda x reader#mommy wanda#wandavision#wanda x you#wanda marvel#wanda mcu#wanda maximommy#wanda smut
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Part 3 of feral mc but with Belphie being released from the attic. Just imagine Belphie trying to kill mc and they just bite him. Not even Barbatos could handle the child so I highly doubt Belphie could either lol.
Feral Child Mc (part three)
MC Gets Betrayed & Bombastically Side Eyed Their Way To Beating A Bitch.
A/N: I like my writing to be nothing short of silly goofy, i also wrote this at like 4am two weeks ago and was so surprised to see it in my drafts. Did i proof read it? No.
Enjoy anyways💕
Now, you have been a menace since you've arrived
Only truly unstoppable by Diavolo, Lucifer and Barbatos on a good day
Today
Was not one of those days
No
Not at all
You see
Late in the night after being very snuggly tucked in
And then duck taped to the bed
And then your pajamas stapled to the bed
And then tied to the bed
In their defense
Not a single brother has gotten a single decent night of sleep
Not since Mammon awoke one night to see your little face peeking out from the vents
You screamed at him and launched from the darkness, stealing his sun glasses before scrumbling deep into the walls
no one has ever heard Mammon scream so loudly
Needless to say they were pretty fucking done with your scrumbling
Besides, they tied Satan to the bed and look at him! A totally chill and normal member of society :D
Anyways you were built different and managed to escape
You had to check on your little friend in the attic after all, it had been a few days
Upon going in, you glared at eachother for exactly three minutes and fourteen seconds
Before he started the whole sweet act on you
"Awh hey, you can let me out now right? You can do that? Whose a good little human?"
Offense taken
You werent a dog
though you wont lie and say you havent growled back at Cerberus before...
No you know what
Who does this man think he is?
You are a child with 6 of the deadliest pacts in the world!
...
...
...
Wait a second
Who thought that was a good idea
Genuinely
You are feral
A monster
The other students at RAD cower before you
You made the Angel's cry
YOU CHOKED BARBATOS WITH A SHOE LACE
WHO IN THE 7 CIRCLES OF HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A PACT WITH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE
well whatever it's not like this is gonna come back and bite you
But you werent gonna release the bitch from his kennel
Not without a price
Mammon would be so so proud of you!
It took a lot of back and forth, but he promised 12 firecrackers, a new plushie, and a trip to the candy store
Hell yea candy
Open up oh magic lock
Oh he fucking kicked you across the room
Well that's not fucking candy
Lying prick
So this fucking incel loser started ranting about something or other
To be honest you didnt care
In fact you decided he didnt get a monologue
You were pissed off
You freed him
Were you the embodiment of capitalism while doing so?
Maybe
But that doesnt mean he can just hit you
Like
You have such a cute face
He's just mad that you're the baby of the family now
And that thought gave you a great idea!!
"I'm telling Lucifer"
Would have been your final words
Had you not been
Well
You.
Next thing you know he's chasing you down the stairs, grabbing you and choking you out
Which
Not gonna lie
Was a bitch move
So you kicked him square in the jaw and started screaming, just like papa lucifer taught
Stranger danger kids
Dont release strange men from the attic in exchange for candy
It's not worth it and they are lying
So obviously you pissed off what's his name
You're pretty sure its bitch boy
Anyways so you pissed off bitch boy and he started trying to stab you with a chair leg
Which was like
So rude
And the others were like bro stop
Except more panicked you're pretty sure but you werent a crybaby bitch like this loser so you know
You had to go for the knees
You slid around him, kicked him in the back of the knees
This wasnt your first rodeo
Apparently
Because you climbed on the demonic cow and grabbed the horns man
You were holding on for dear life before you just bit into his head
Like
I dont think he even knew what to do at that point
You ruined his WHOLE SPEECH
THEN FOR SOME REASON YOU GOT MAD AT HIM
gee I wonder why
THEN HIS BROTHERS SHOWED UP
THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE HOW IT WENT AT ALL
PRICK
Recounting this tale now, a few months later, you'd like to think that he was just being the most frfr brother out of everyone
You two had to be torn apart like a pair of summer popsicles
You were kicking and screaming
He was kicking and screaming
Mammon was kicking and screaming, somehow his leg got caught in between you two
It was a warzone
The hallway was destroyed
Multiple bedrooms? Just gone
The brothers?
So
So tired...
None of that fake shit
Deep down you know you would've won though
You still call him bitch boy💕
#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me imagines#obey me scenarios#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me solomon#obey me asmodeus#obey me belphegor#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me beelzebub#obey me luke#obey me simeon#obey me feral mc
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small things to stop doing in your fics
(or any kind of writing, but i live on ao3. we begin with flat-out crimes and then slowly start moving into things that just bug me personally but aren’t wrong)
epithets. if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a thousand times. you should only be using epithets for characters whose names we do not know. they can also be used VERY rarely to break up the repetition of names/pronouns or to emphasize characters’ relationships/viewpoints, ie “his boyfriend” or “the asshole.”
writing out accents. please stop. you can include a couple of small things, like “somethin’” or “ya” (for “you”), but even keep that to a minimum. specific turns of phrase/references go way farther imo to establish a character’s culture/background/etc. a little goes a long way, and doing it repeatedly can make sentences hard to parse. this also! applies! to children and babytalk! have you ever listened to a child speak? toddlers can enunciate pretty well!
not enough commas. put commas before names and titles. it’s not “Hey John” or “I’m on it captain,” it’s “Hey, John” and “I’m on it, captain.” also, put them after discourse markers/interjections such as “well,” “so,” and “now.” you should be writing “So, how are the kids?” not “So how are the kids?” even if your character is speaking quickly, you still want the commas because of grammar. it can occasionally be acceptable to omit them if you want to indicate extreme excitement/panic/anger/etc, but use it sparingly.
too many commas. i’m a comma fiend like the rest of you so i’m guilty here too, but we gotta at least stop with the comma splices. commas split and independent and dependent clause, meaning that one part of the sentence cannot grammatically stand alone. if all parts are complete sentences on their own, that’s a comma splice. try splitting it into two sentences, using a semicolon, or rewriting. this is usually fine in dialogue, though, that’s just how people talk.
also, using a lot of commas to denote panic is something i used to be HUGELY guilty of and now i hate it. instead of, “I, I, I don’t, I don’t know,” you can try, “I-I…I don’t—I don’t know!” probably not that much punctuation that close together, but for the sake of example. emdashes and ellipses, my beloveds 🫶
roleplay speak. i don’t know what else to succinctly call this? i’m referring to the tendency to be redundant and over-explain, especially in dialogue. it’s a phenomenon i see constantly in rp circles, usually because of post length requirements (and i have little issue with it there, it’s just the culture). things like:
“Surprise!” Adam shouted, popping out from behind the door.
“Oh my god!” Scott screamed, having been completely startled and not expecting Adam to be home yet.
yeah, we can guess that Scott is startled, right? because of the screaming? and clearly if Adam is surprising Scott it stands to reason his presence is unexpected? why are we stating this twice?
i believe this also comes from the mistaken idea that every line of dialogue needs a tag attached, which is….horrible. you can let the dialogue exist on its own sometimes, friends. you can also include an action beat without a tag. like above, i could have just said “Adam popped out from behind the door” and omitted the shouting altogether. we can assume he is being loud because that’s usually how people do surprises. anyway. moving on.
condescending to readers. this isn’t so much about writing as it is author’s notes and the like, and “condescending” may be a strong word, but i’m trying to be succinct. at any rate, please stop telling your audience to not read your fic? “do not read if sensitive to [blank]” or “if you have [disorder] skip this fic!” is a horrible way to trigger warn. people know their own boundaries. tell them what the work actually contains and let them self-select.
i also find “rest stop/check-in” type notes condescending, like “if you are reading this between the hours of 10pm-4am, go to sleep” and “STOP! have you eaten/drank/walked around in the past few hours? go do that!” again, we know ourselves. i’m not your kid, don’t tell me what to do. i don’t mind a polite, casual little “thanks for reading, remember to drink water and take your meds, bye” note, though.
the others in this category? i will straight up not read the fic over that on some days. ESPECIALLY because, in my experience, the people who are most intense about warning for every little thing are the ones with the mildest fics, and that’s not what i’m here for.
complaining about your own wrong tags. this is, admittedly, such a nitpick, and it definitely is more common in certain communities than others. but as longtime followers may know, i’m a bit obsessed with ao3’s tagging system and it drives me BONKERS when people use the wrong tags and follow it with “not actually but there’s no tag for xyz.” here’s the thing: you can still look at all the works that have ANY tag, just the non-canonized ones can’t be filtered on. and the best way to get a tag canonized is, guess what, to USE it! imagine that. also, if you’re using the wrong tag, you’re just going to clog the filter results and get people who don’t actually want to read your fic. just stop.
#writing advice#fanfiction#wren writes#writeblr#this has been in my drafts for a while getting things added to it as i come across them#i think it’s good now#feel free to add your own grievances as long as they’re small#last addition was the commas bc i just dnf’d a fic for having like no commas ever#why is every character talking at warp speed i cant focus#also yes i’m a hypocrite bc you can probably find at least most of these in my fics. ik i have the rp speak one very recently. but thats bc#its a rp turned fic and i’m lazy about editing#i dont mind it in that case i think rp fics are fun its when its clearly Not a rp fic that i get annoyed by it
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VARIOUS // middle of the night
you text your significant other in the middle of the night.
literallt just pure crack
wanderer, kaeya, childe, diluc, ayato
CHILDE
YOU - hi pookie snookie dookie lookie 😋
CHILDE - i- uhhh… love, you do realise it’s 2am? 😨
YOU - yeah, and?
CHILDE - why are you up?
YOU - I could ask you the same question 😋😋
CHILDE - stopp why do u always know how to shut me upppp 😭😭
YOU - it’s part of dating me lololol
CHILDE - well… i was thinkifn of ur birthday and what i should do
YOU - …my birthday’s in 3 months-
CHILDE - i- um- i like to be prepared! anyways, why r u up?
YOU - i was thinking...
CHILDE - DONT LEAVE ME HANGINGGG
YOU - i was thinking of you ;)
KAEYA
YOU - hey male elsa my bbg ;)
KAEYA - ...snowflake, it's 1am.
YOU - soo?
KAEYA - go to sleep
YOU - nty :)
KAEYA - do you want to find me at your window telling you to sleep at 1am?
YOU - ...it was a mistake telling you my address.
KAEYA - but you still love me <3
DILUC
YOU - hi love~
DILUC - you are in the other room right now. i will walk into your room and force you to sleep because it is currently 4am and not sleeping is not healthy.
YOU - but whyyyyyyy?
DILUC - you're gonna be tired the whole day. do you want that?
YOU - but we aren't going anywhere! it's going to be sunday!!
DILUC - i will personally arrange a dinner with many guests at 5pm just so you will sleep to look your best.
YOU - no thanks~
diluc walks into your room to see you still on your phone. he silently steps in front of you and glares at you.
"go to sleep."
WANDERER
YOU - hi loml my pookie bear my one and only
WANDERER - go to sleep. right now. i will literally hunt you down.
YOU - :o for once you didn't protest at the nicknames!! i'm screenshotting this!!
WANDERER - ...why must you be so irritating?
YOU - but you love meee~
WANDERER - i hate that i love you.
YOU - YOU ADMITTED ITTT SCREENSHOTTING AGAIN
WANDERER - just go to sleep. please? for me?
AYATO
YOU - ayatooooooo my loveeeeeee
AYATO - it's currently 3am. are you alright, my dear?
YOU - i'm not alright whenever i'm not with you :(
AYATO - you saw me just a few hours ago. however, if you wish, i can come to your room and stay there for the night.
YOU - NONO ITS ALRIGHT IM FINE I WAS JUST TRYING TO FLUSTER YOU
AYATO - oh? that's quite amusing. i'm usually the one that flusters you. however, i do know that you like a challenge.
YOU - nopeeee you never fluster me
AYATO - mhm, sure. then how about i take you out on a date tomorrow? then we'll see if you are indeed correct.
YOU - *CONFUSED SCREAMING*
A/N: screaming giggling blushing kicking my feet while writing this
also, @yelshin your bbg ayato is here
#genshin fanfic#genshin impact#genshin x reader#ayato x reader#chat fic#wanderer genshin#genshin#genshin spoilers#genshin childe#genshin ajax#genshin tartaglia#kaeya alberich#diluc
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Genshin and hsr characters as pinned messages (out of context) from discord servers with my friends: a shitpost
(uhhh cw some nsfw jokes and cuss words)
wriothesley: "i do not want an alpha transformation happening rn "
march to danheng: "my coquette lungs are better than your emo lungs"
hu tao: *ghostly voice* "oooooogly boogly why'd you skadoodly me?"
xiao, learning how to spell: "i lvove elmo music"
childe: "he is in my feet"
klee: "yeah my grandma's actually kim kardashian"
bronya to cocolia when she got sick as a kid: "Mother please carry me outside before to see the sky one last time before the consumption takes hold of my body and soul"
hu tao: " "weenis", said eerily"
bennett: "THE SANDWHICH TOOK ME OUT"
blade: "that link is longer than my plans for the future"
serval: "i pledge allegiance to the american bra"
itto: "i am in heat growls the summer has come and i am in heat growls"
zhongli: "*old man voice* when i was your age i fought kids"
stelle/caelus: "when i was my age i eated drywall"
fu xuan: "JING YUAN ILL SNIPPERS YOU UP IF YOU DONT STOP WITH THIS GOOBEROUS SHIT"
diluc, about venti: "i like to prentend he was a fever dream i came with at 4am"
fréminet, trying to speak french: "they said Lyney tu dumbass"
sampo: "I think Luka would beat up Luka while Luka watches. and then Luka would join in and beat the living daylight out of Luka"
silver wolf, about blade: "ppl with lactose intolerance boutta have their 2nd period ongomg"
kayea and rosaria: "we're a match made in the deep dark depths of the abyssal caves in fuck knows where"
jingliu: "am i.........one of those queers........."
yanquing: "shout-out to my home dawg Charles aka history teacher for dropping this wisdom on me"
shinobu: "itto if you say anything penis related you are banned"
ayaka as a kid: ""please take me to the garden so that way i can see the shining sun for the last time before my frail body decomposes with the disease known as ligma""
lyney: "imagine Neuvillette seeing a bunch of orphans blow up infront of him"
yoimiya: "are you really friends if you dont have matching vagina bracelets ??"
wriothesley: "My name is actually marlinus maximilianus Merlin guys"
caelus/stelle: " *bites your toes playfully* "
Pompom: "i eat gender for dinner"
xiao: "is life without endless pain and suffering only for it all to end leaving nothing but emptiness and all your suffering being just for the entertainment of the entity that we call god. an entity who is the real reason as to why we humans end up hurting others, for pain and suffereing is nothing but an endless spiral no matter how hard you try."
kafka, messing with blade: "do you like the gay foot"
yanfei: "YOU CANT LET IT GO LET IT GO YOUR WAY OUT OF A RESTRAINING ORDER"
kokomi: "DEMENTED DOLPHIN"
Furina: "they oui oui'd me"
shenhe: "the cld never bothered me anywa......."
kiara: "agressive meow"
ganyu: "are you a tree cause i wanna eat you"
dainsleif: "while youre kissing you bf or whatever ill be watching in the walls"
venti: "I FART ON PLANES"
scaramouche: "childe I will shave you bald"
itto: "perry plaptypussy"
seele, in response to hook's drawing: "10/10 Einstein could never"
razor, to bennett: "I WILL LICK YOU TO SLEEP"
sucrose, about to collect more bones: "*deranged loud breathing*"
kequing, to half of liyue: "SHUT UP COLOR WHEEL"
cyno: "genderfluid people's favorite song is liquid smooth"
kequing: "the feminine urge to beat up your coworkers with a stick"
dehya: "i piss on biphobes" kaveh: "but what if they have a piss kink..."
albedo: "he looks like a failed science project"
baizhu: "blowjob? nah, blownose"
silver wolf: "story time, honkai star rail made me leave my brother at a gas station and i do not regret SHIT"
blade: "if i end this year without killing myself its a miracle"
columbina: "btw dead bodies take less space if you bury them like theyre standing up"
zhongli: " *cracks back and walks away leaving a trail of dust behind"
@muachiro @geetkk @veimwah @etherific @zohakutenstan
#shitpost#silly hours#genshin impact#honkai star rail#gi#hsr#hu tao#baizhu#blade hsr#columbina#danslette#zhongli#morax#silver wolf#sw#albedo#albedo kreidprinz#kequing#dehya#kaveh#cyno#sucrose#razor#bennett#benny#seele hsr#hook#hsr seele#itto#arataki itto
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the no sex-ed virgin dream is great but also consider a dream who HAS had sex and DOES know how sex works but has just only had very very bad sex. its always been over in 10 minutes tops with very little foreplay and usually no aftercare at all. just plain missionary and everything.
so he gets with hob and hob, upon realizing that dream's had sex but he's never had good sex, makes it his mission to make up for all the lost time dream could've been getting fucked into the fifth dimension but instead just spent like...lying there awkwardly in the aftermath.
and from there it could either, 1., turn dream into an insatiable sex fiend (who we are all familiar with at this point) or 2., dream has no idea when to ask for sex. or how. so they only ever fuck when hob initiates, not for lack of wanting on dreams part at all, he's just not used to it. so then he ends up taking cold showers and going for walks and biting his lip until he bleeds to try to distract himself from the horniness because he's too awkward to ask hob to fuck him, and equally as awkward to ask hob to teach him how to ask for things. although he def did not consider that as a possibility because he's stupid
I loooove the bad sex trope. And like, Dream isn’t bad at sex, he’s just… slightly clueless. No one has ever helped him out, he’s only had awkward hookups with people who weren’t interested in his pleasure.
One night he’s talking to Hob and he’s like “I don’t understand what all the fuss is about, it’s over in five minutes and it’s messy and sometimes it hurts. And the orgasm really isn’t worth it, I might as well just masturbate.”
Hob is like “ohhh you sweet summer child you don’t know!!! No one has ever treated you right!!!” And of course his clever solution to that problem is to proposition Dream and make him change his mind about sex.
At first Dream lies there like a dead fish and Hob has to pull out all the stops to make him actually participate. They get there in the end, though, and Dream is the one topping for once (people always assumed he’d bottom and he just went along with it) and he slowly gets better at it over the course of the night until he has an epiphany around 4am when Hob rides him and talks dirty to him. Maybe sex is the best thing in the world actually.
Dream is now a horny disaster with a massive crush on Hob and a perpetual erection. He wants to ask Hob to fuck him so he can maybe enjoy bottoming for once. He employs some absolutely terrible seduction techniques which basically amount to getting naked in front of Hob and hoping for the best.
Fortunately Hob is like “oh god I need to finish what I started so Dream can have a functional sex life”. The only complication is that he’s in love with Dream. What could possibly go wrong? Many things - Dream is an insatiable sex fiend, Hob is a lovesick fool, and neither of them are getting any sleep for the foreseeable future.
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sentimental over you
summary: sometimes your fiancé's insomnia has its perks. namely that he'll let you sleep while your daughter and him have a little one on one time. rating: g, it's literally a baby on big daddy's chest. like what was i gonna do to it. pairing: big daddy elvis x female reader word count: 867 warnings: fluff. talk about elvis's insomnia. babies being babies and not sleeping like adults with nine to fives. it's tame, i'm being silly with these warnings. though there is unsafe sleeping practices in that a baby in any bed that isn't a crib for the first chunk of their life is technically speaking a no-no in the us now. author's note: literally blame this on the at least two times i saw someone come into- god i think it was daisy's and tam's inboxes mentioning elvis and babies and being adorable. i just wanted to write fluff and this has been in my head since i read those things. also i did mention curly hair in relation to the baby so know this is meant to be both for poc and non-poc readers.
Elvis would like to argue that both times he's had a child, first with Lisa, his Yisa and then with little Crystal, Lisa's lil Crys-Crys- he hadn't actually planned for them to come when they did. Lisa coming nine months to the day of his and Priscilla's wedding and yours- well yours right after you had just gotten engaged. You could have been married for when she was born but you had put your foot down, telling Elvis that under no uncertain terms were you going to be walking down the aisle with your belly as round as it was in a wedding dress.
You haven't gotten married yet and there's a nebulous promise from both of you to each other that once Crystal is sleeping through the night comfortably you'll get married. At the rate she was going, you and him would be an old married couple without the marriage part before she decided it was a cool thing to sleep. You've gotten used to waking up in the middle of the night and it used to be to feed her but nowadays it's just to have her look at you with eyes so blue you swear no part of your genes even entered the equation when it came to figuring out her eye color. Sometimes she's crying, other time she's just making noise but tonight- tonight you find yourself sleeping past your normal wake up time. Tonight you find that you sleep past the midnight hour, the witching hour for your daughter and into the early morning hours of 4AM. What wakes you up is the low murmur of your fiancé singing.
You blink slowly, your eyes trying to focus in the low light of the room. It takes you a minute or five to actually notice that it's not just him in the bed next to you, that there's a soft cooing noise being made on his chest. Crystal doesn't sleep with the both of you ever, unless she's sick and even then one of you is usually awake to make sure she's alright. Last you had checked when you put her to bed in her crib she was fine, there was no real reason for her to be making noises on Elvis's chest. Elvis is too engrossed in singing to your daughter to notice much of anything in relation to you waking up and hearing him sing a version of one of your favorite Ella Fitzgerald songs does bring you a bit of joy that you don't want to pop just yet by announcing your awake state. When he stops his hand moves to play with your daughter's hair, taking note of the curls starting to finally grow. The jury was still out on how tight they would be but you were hoping for a potential middle ground between your hair and Elvis's.
"Ya gonna go back t'sleep lil one? Gonna let Daddy put ya back in your crib all nice and comfy?" He whispers to her, almost trying to bargain with her like that was ever something that worked with babies. Crystal's answering whimper as he starts to shift in the bed to attempt to get up answers for him. "Gotcha, ain't gonna move from this spot I guess. Gonna have mama wake up t'you all curled up like a cat on me. How we gonna explain that t'her?"
You can't help the tiny giggle that escapes your lips at the last part before you see Elvis's head turn to look at you with Crystal's head following suit, blinking slowly. "Satnin. You supposed t'be sleepin'."
You hum, moving a little closer so that you can nuzzle noses with him and then with your daughter. "Was. Singing woke me up. She been up long?"
"Half 'n hour. She's gettin' drowsy. Gonna have her out like a light in no time." He says with all the confidence in the world. "Go back t'sleep. We'll be here in the mornin'."
You shake your head. "Sing us both to sleep? Maybe even yourself?"
Elvis looks at you and looks at your daughter- your daughter that both of you made together- and exhales. "Drive a hard bargain y'know that?" But he aquises nonetheless, moving his arm out so that you can scoot closer, and place your head near Crystal's on his chest and a soft kiss to her nose. Your arm drapes across his stomach, pulling him closer as you hear him start to sing again.
Crystal falls asleep first, a small yawn leaving her body before she burrows into Elvis's chest, turning it into a warm and comfy little pillow. You feel your eyes starting to droop soon after but then you hear a light snore coming from Elvis instead of singing. You glance up and a smile crosses your lips, he fell asleep mid-song. You follow soon after and the next time you wake up it's to the first rays of sunlight entering your room casting a light on your future husband and your daughter's face that makes your heart full to bursting.
Maybe a few more minutes of shuteye wouldn't hurt. After all, they'll be there in the morning- the later morning.
They were.
#elvis presley#elvis presley fanfic#elvis presley imagine#elvis presley fluff#elvis presley x reader#big daddy elvis#elvis presley x y/n#elvis presley x you#ally writes#i don't know what has come over me.#apologies for basically seeing that idea and being bitten by the urge to write this.#( i really just needed a fluff interlude to my life. )
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This idea has been stuck in my head for daysss anyway genshin men of your choice (bonus points if Tartaglia or Kaeya are included) with an s/o (gender neutral pls) who is alot like Kenny McCormick from South Park. If you don't know the show, he basically wears an oversized hood that covers most of his face except for his eyes and when he talks its mostly muffled but the only person who understands what she's saying are people like traveler and stuff. Anyway, daily reminder to stay hydrated <3
(More bonuses if you add their reaction when they finally see and hear reader without the hood.)
Help, this has been in my drafts for months 😭 I’m so sorry pookie here it is! Also I’m not sure to do hc or scenarios so I just did a little bit of both!
Also idk how to write for Kaeya, I honestly don’t remember his personality at all :(
Characters: Childe, Zhongli, Alhaitham X gender neutral reader
Warnings: Idk y/n without the hood or smth
CHILDE
— oh you just said ‘$;@:@:?#%>\&” ? Yeah no worries, he understood that.
— Childe likes to rest his hand or arm on top of your head, in this case, your hoodie at every chance possible.
— He doesn’t always understand what you’re saying so he sometimes depends on your body language as well.
— The first time he saw you without the hood was when you woke up at 4am to get some water and saw him there too.
Your throat had been itching for a while now, you had wanted to ignore it and go back to sleep but it’s now come to a point that the dryness was making you uncomfortable.
Rubbing your eyes in frustration, you got out of bed, not noticing the absence of your boyfriend next to you. Still partially tired, you ran your hand along the wall to turn the lights on.
Taking a cup, you were oblivious to the statue in the corner with his mouth slightly parted. Clearing his throat, you almost died on the spot of a jump scare.
“Well well, isn’t this a rare sight?” You looked at him in shock, taking your time to register his words.
Upon realising, you reached for the hood. “Oh no, it’s quite alright, I don’t mind seeing you like this ever so often!” With a few quick strides Childe was already standing next to you, stopping you from pulling the hood over your head.
Now it was your turn to clear your throat, “oh right, okay” you mumbled, turning back to your cup of water.
Childe tried his best to not look surprised upon hearing your actual voice and not the muffled responses he was used to.
“Like music to my ears, you should drop the hood more often.” Putting a hand under your chin, he tilted your head up to get a better look at your face.
ZHONGLI
— No, I don’t know why but I just feel like he already knew how you’d look and sound.
— Not that surprised and all, it’s not that big of a deal to him whether you choose to wear the hood or not.
— But!! Compared to when you are wearing the hood, he will definitely steal glances at you more often. Y’know, just a peek here and there.
— He’s fine with it either way, if you feel more comfortable with the hood he’s perfectly fine with that.
The two of you were taking a stroll through wuwang hill, enjoying the peace and quiet after a long week of work. It’s not unusual to come across monsters in Liyue, so when a group of anemo slimes bounced your way you were well prepared to take them out.
Though you were not prepared for the strong gust of wind from the big slime that blew your hood of. On top of that, you also lost your balance for a split second, falling back on your butt.
Zhongli made quick work of the rest, getting rid of them with an easy blow. Walking towards you, he extended a hand and pulled you up.
Still preoccupied with smoothening your clothes and getting rid of the dirt, Zhongli kept his gaze on your face the entire time.
You looked exactly like how he thought you would, maybe even better.
“Thanks, let’s get going now.” You made eye contact with him, a small smile on your face.
“What’s wrong? Why are you staring at me like that?”
Shaking his head, Zhongli acted as if everything was perfectly normal and continued walking in front of you. Well, that was until he heard you gasp.
Pulling the hood back over your head, you tightened it quickly, catching up to him.
“You know, you don’t always have to wear the hood. It must be stuffy and warm.”
Truth was, he just like seeing your face and hearing your voice.
ALHAITHAM
— Once again, kinda monotone and just like “oh so this is you without the hood, I see.”
— That’s it. Literally.
— He doesn’t care enough to say anything else. If you wear your hood, you wear your hood. If you don’t, you don’t.
— No reaction to anything, just ‘ok, cool’ attitude.
You fell asleep on your table while staying up late to work on a project. That’s how Alhaitham even saw you without the hood on.
He had spent the entire morning looking for you. He even went out of his way to ask his roommate about your whereabouts.
When alhaitham finally found you in your office, you were sleeping with stacks of paper surrounding you. A few of them even made its way onto the floor.
But whatever, it didn’t exactly faze him. He just tapped you a few times before you woke up in a panic.
“!! Huh, what?” You asked, confused.
“Nothing, just waking you up. Did you enjoy your nap?” Taking a piece of paper that had been plastered onto your cheek off, you suddenly realised what happened.
“Oh, I must’ve fallen asleep…” You sighed at the realisation.
Thanking alhaitham for waking you up, you quickly picked up the stray papers and arranged them neatly onto different stacks.
You would have expected him to leave by now, I mean he was a busy person after all. But by the time you were done tidying up, alhaitham was still standing at your doorway.
Giving him a questioning look, he simply gestured to your hood before leaving you in another state of panic.
#genshin impact#childe#childe x reader#zhongli#zhongli x reader#al haitham#al haitam x reader#gender neutral insert#x reader
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40 Years Old; Moved; Threats; Death of Dragoneer; About Filene, Me
[cw: Child Trafficking, Sex Crimes, Genocide, Nakba, Crimes against Humanity, War Crimes, Security, Panopticon, Child Abuse, Commercialized Control, Systemic Violence, Healthcare Violence, Systemic oppression, Death, Grief, Coercive Control, Stochastic Violence]
Bismillah, in the name of Allah'; If you're a minor, you need to ask an adult you trust to read this post instead.
Look no further than the death announcement of the person known as Dragoneer, and you'll find folk promptly celebrating due to one small scandal of virtue or another. None of this compares to the people Preyfar (aka Dragoneer) stood up to, folk who insulate and stop conversations about the Israeli Defense Force's Nakba continuing in Palestine, about the invasion and threats on Ukraine (Feb 4th) which threaten the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Plant to cause another Chernobyl Disaster as well as the people of Ukraine themselves. He fought those who will turn education about human and reproductive rights into sex crimes. People (like a former president) who have said "Jeffrey Epstein" is a good guy despite being at the center of an international child sex trafficking ring that coerced people in positions of power to becoming his assets and clients. And Dragoneer? He was a kind-hearted, jovial artist (to those who knew him) who was allowed to take over Alkora's FurAffinity project in 2007, as Alkora was already being targeted for scandal. Dragoneer worked internationally as a contractor prior to IMVU's purchase, and in the last ten years, he has fought to keep FurAffinity together despite his own impoverishment.
Dragoneer tried many ways to keep the site going. After FurAffinity was blocked from being paid by the major payment processors, after he changed the content permissions to be ethically and virtuously clean with regards to content and these payment authorizers' tightening rules, and after temporarily allowing IMVU to be in possession of the site's legal entity before Dragoneer purchased it anew, he was without health insurance in Virginia. Virginia, for those of you not aware, has regularly sued people on the USA-funded poverty healthcare option, Medicaid, under claims of bills that should not have been paid. Even though I was familiar with Dragoneer on a first-name basis as he was a long-term acquaintance and friend of mine, Twitter's purchase and gutting by Elon Musk left his reach and visibility erased. I had no idea Dragoneer, my friend, was suffering from a life threatening condition for months, and was repeatedly being failed and deferred by healthcare providers he saw. Of course he would be, when you know doctors also need to be paid by a healthcare system founded on austerity and punitive lawsuits against needy peoples. (This is compared to the President Donald administration getting paid to forcibly sterilize undocumented refugees and migrants. I don't have the link about my Medicaid claim right now.)
And so, Dragoneer died last night. I had found out at 4am, because my complex household needs means I was up at 1:30am. (You'd think merely 'being awake' can make praying the Salaat easier, but it doesn't even as a Queer, Trans, and 2022-recently Islamic Muslim.) I am so beside myself with grief, as I am aware my own father needs 24/7 healthcare and care work but can't afford it. He is the same age as the DoorDasher who humbly needed my help to provide our needed groceries (like toilet paper) that we 'financed' on the exploitative APR credit cards we need to get by. Even if my dad has pushed Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer back to its smallest this year, he still needs help to recover his memory. In my house, we are 24/7. So when followers show up with tags like "im_1nside_your_house", or when I am subject to a "Miscreant In the Middle" attack while at the laundromat, I am as ready as I can be on hours of sleep and gratitude from constant prayers.
He didn't need to die. My dad doesn't need to be nickle-and-dimed for healthcare. And people don't need to go broke paying for health insurance for themselves, their dogs, or the life of their land. If you're as angry about this farcical austerity--treating currency bills like they're invaluable and limited-edition collector's items only fit to be horded ala the Panama Papers--then I pray fellow furries like me and Dragoneer can still do something about it.
In his last tweets on TwXtter, you can still see Dragoneer fighting fascists. I'm no expert on fascism, so let me try to summarize it by the line: "Might makes right." This 'might' being people or organizations employing technology (ala "Djinn," "Egregores," or in this case, just corporate bodies and the 'thoughtforms' employees have) exploiting these massive systems of power to create a lie into reality by the fact their power enables it to happen. Why else can some of the most far-right Israelis feel like they're protecting their homeland, when it only exists in the dwindling darkness of ignorance a Hebrew-only state (no Yiddish allowed) birthed in children? This kind of dark enlightenment is still poisoning us today, even as it is one JD Vance advocates for.
And, today, someone from a popular UNDERTALE world record holder's Discord community found one of the other places I am also combating this international system of exploitation: VANtics. If you think I'm against lies being used to control children, which I am, look to your own television, or your YouTube Kids app. Therein, besides Elsagate and the USA's weak attempts to stop this via KOSA, you will find a surreal INTERNATIONAL normality. This normality has existed since before USAian Cigarette Marketing invented marketing: paid commercial advertisements.
VANtics is my hope to reveal that, not only do non-consentual airing of commercial publications exploit the children who might see them, they exploit the children cast within them. You can see Nickelodeon-network scandals regarding content that unnecessarily and unhealthily pushed child actors to pose for scenes that graphically held on their bodily features that were unnecessary to the plot. Am I using more words than a 14 year old might understand? No, as I was a very clever 14 year old who could not dispel the images, their realism, and the intimacy in their performances in these ads. Who could be OK participating like this in an ad for a large audience? Why would this piece of art be made to be aired when I would see it, to plausibly and intentionally shape my thoughts for a lifetime? It's called "Image Marketing" and executives are as aware of this as the Exxon executives were aware of the problems of climate change.
I had no idea this crossover would happen hours after Dragoneer's passing, and continue to expose the internet-wide exploration, presence, and communities I'm a part of. My act of boldly or humbly living my life as a visible trans* person since 2014 has required me to have faith in higher powers, all the way up to a single unifying Creator: as I've survived multiple attacks completely outside of this SansIsSleeping art project. These attacks aren't merely physical violence, but legal, social, economic, and bureaucratic. The fact I am here today is not just because of my faith in One transcendental Creator (Tahwid) keeping all of this order on Earth quietly operating despite chaos. It's because of people like my spouse. It's because of my children who lead and inspire me. It's because of the community members I've met who wonder why commodity fetishism is a normal and accepted marketing tactic for children. It's because of old friends who still continue to commune with me, and other friends who don't hesitate to help with money, or networking, or other aid. It's because of people like Mari who is also facing a similar healthcare and financial crisis like Dragoneer did. It's because of people like atax1a , aka Alex, who inspire me and teach me by xer own dictionary-like addressing of all the space xe hold. This is just like the Bo Burnham special "Inside," tackling this same topic (and the Outtakes which are great): my inside is outside now, and we're entering a world where "Everybody Knows." This even reminds me of the coercive/puppeteering blackmail-like control that I found suggested by lyrics within a music video composed by Toby Fox but I am soon courageous enough to finally witness. This is much like SnowGrave for me, which I had put off for months out of fear I would, again, be haunted ala the Genocide/Ecocidal ending of UNDERTALE. Does "No Mercy" even cut such a story of increasingly consolidated power choices?
I'm in my final days of work on the architecture of Slumberer Sentinels. I don't know if I will have a complete platform architecture drawn out before I begin, but this is another one of this era's "clarion call" attempts. Just like Tim Berners-Lee believes in a decentralized web rescuing us from this terrorism-technology panopticon, I believe a universal networked system state that Slumberer Sentinels can provide open-source would be an open book all of you can read and teach me from, as the next generation and current generation of experts.
Yes, I'm weird. But I understand consent enough now to refuse power being proof of consent. Perhaps might can create the lie of what is right, but informed/FRIES consent is mightier. Like my welcome new Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz says: it's weird to have this power and say these wrong, revisionist things about living beings. It's beyond weird, it's wrong to claim ability to divine who at our scale deserves to die and live. That's not our job, we need enough of us fools and all living beings alive long enough to learn an unforgettable lesson. We are already living in a time of Genocide, of Nakba.
What are YOU doing?
You're reading this? Thank you. Preyfar, may Ar Rahman Ar Raheem, the Most Gracious and Most Merciful be pleased, and peace be upon you.
Filene "Natalie" Taylor B August 7th, 2024
(v1: got most of the links in there, not all of them, such as a talk Cory Doctorow referred to where "AI" is actually considered Organizations, and their growing authoritarian control is the problem. I think the talk is like, "How did we mess up this bad?" or something)
#SansIsSleeping#Slumberer Sentinels#SlumbererSentinels#UNDERTALE#livestream#Filene Taylor#Dragoneer#FurAffinity#Furry
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