#'Oh why are they not understanding this and that' might have as well given them rocket science come on
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Going to be tutoring a kid that was initially thinking about studying with my grandma, saved him fr you are so lucky you do not even know boy 🙏
#faksyan talks#every time she does a retelling of how she goes about it I keep thinking holy shit I lucked out so much as a child#I would not have comprehended any of it that is not a suitable way of working with kids#'Oh why are they not understanding this and that' might have as well given them rocket science come on
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Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.
So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.
#yes the animation is phenominal and honestly i would have stopped watching after the first episode without it#MAPPA creates some beautiful art like just gorgeous#but the constant force-feeding of every minor character's backstory was hellish for me#had me rolling my eyes every time they did it (every three seconds)#the vast majority of characters are unlikable or bland or dead#often all of the above#choso is the only character i actively liked?? like i understand him i reallu do#i liked mahito? he's a freak so that's a given#i liked that one old guy with the weird still frames power#uhhh i like sukuna's weird obsession with ripoff sasuke#edit i member: i liked megumi he deserved better#oh i also REALLY liked nanamin or whatever his name was (it's been a while)#i think yuuji's suicide mission that he didn't think through is super interesting#alright heres my most controversial take of all#i don't care at ALL abt gojo. he's so mid there's like a million characters exactly like him#and he's UGLY why do people say he's attractive bro is UGLY A HELL#the intros are baller tho i sat through them every episode no skipping that shit#gorgeous animation as i'd expect from this studio#like! there's so many little drops of things that i liked about this show! which is why it pissed me off so much every time they did boring#ass exposition dumps on characters that are gonna die in five seconds. or worse-they are gonna live and continue to bore me to tears#and when i tell you i physically couldn't read the manga because of how fucking BORING it is#i got caught up and was like 'okay ill read the manga i kinda like what's currently happening n ive made it this far might as well keep goi#g' nah man i couldn't even read a whole chapter. jjk is king of exposition dumps#i do think the powers and how if you tell your opponent what it is it gets stronger is rad#and it drives me insane because i know they know how to drip-feed information about a character! and when they do that they do it SO WELL!!#but they just force feed you all this information the rest of the time like BRO ITS TOO MUCH SLOW DOWN AND JUST LET THE CHARACTERS DO THEIR#THING AND IT WILL BE MORE SATISFYING#anyways not tagging this because i don't wanna put hate in the main tags#just like. if you see this please explain to me what im missing PLEASE i want to like this show SO bad
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places where the audio distorts
image ids under the cut
tmagp 4:
tmagp 5:
tmagp 7:
tmagp 8:
the audio distorts when people lie.
I imagine this knowledge will come in handy later.
[id: ALICE: This is not something you go poking around in. Not if you want to keep your job… or your neck. SAM: (a little amused) Okay, okay! I get it. Consider me scared straight. "Consider me scared straight" is highlighted. end id]
[id: LENA: Now, while I understand your concerns, you need to understand that Colin has held the IT Manager position for some time without incident, and although he is somewhat… frustrated with his current assignment, he can request help from the central IT team at any time. I am certain that should he find his responsibilities unmanageable, he will request assistance. Or resign, of course. Either way, the problem will resolve itself. "Or resign, of course" is highlighted. end id]
[id: CELIA: Is there any way to look up specific files? ALICE: Like what? CELIA: Oh, I don’t know. Every case about… being buried alive, or meat, or… whatever. ALICE: Well, there’s a search bar, but it doesn’t actually do anything. You’d have to dig through them all manually. (suspicious) – Why do you ask? CELIA: Just figuring it all out. Ah well, I guess I’ll need to find Bigfoot on my own time. "Just figuring it all out" is highlighted. end id]
[id: GERTRUDE: I see. Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think Gerry can help you – GERRY: (casually) Yeah, I barely remember any of it. "I don’t think Gerry can help you" is highlighted. end id]
[id: GERRY: Oh yeah, but I was pretty young. I remember filling in a bunch of forms and questionnaires, then some old men asking me questions about what books I liked to read, who did I look up to, that kind of thing. And then I left. SAM: (disappointed) That’s all? GERRY: Yeah, afraid so. Other than just sitting around with a bunch of other kids in a room that smelled like old books. "Yeah, afraid so" is highlighted. end id]
[id: CELIA: I’m trying to look into… Weird physics stuff: time travel, other dimensions, teleportation, all that good stuff. Freddy doesn’t really do searches, so you could keep an eye out and let me know if any come up in your cases? SAM: Uh, sounds a bit sci-fi compared to our usuals. What’s this for? (amused breath) You’re not doing research for that podcast you were on, are you? CELIA: (surprised) You know about that? SAM: I might have given you a quick Google. CELIA: Then… yeah. I’m doing a favor for Georgie. "yeah. I’m doing a favor for Georgie" is highlighted. end id]
#tmagp#The Magnus Protocol#tmagp theories#tmagp spoilers#original#most of these are relatively easy to clock as lies regardless#which makes sense. they need to be for us to notice the pattern and apply it later#but it does tell us for sure that Colin can't quit#or maybe he can but he won't be able to work anywhere else like Teddy?#in any case he (and possibly the rest?) can't quit in a meaningful way#if you find any I missed please let me know!!#why is this happening? who knows! Beholding thing maybe?
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Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)
DC x Pjo
Part 11
______________________________
"Okay, I can't take it anymore, why the hell does everyone get gloomy every time we're at the manor? Everyone seems fine at duty?" Duke places his cutlery down, his tone nervous yet determined to find out what's wrong with his family
He noticed.
Of course he did, after he lost his whole life, he was given to Bruce, and he loved them, they loved him too, they were kind, understanding, and they were all he needed after everything
That wasn't the same for them, They were empty, only rare moments where they relish in happy moments
Did he ruin it? Did he do something? Or was the feeling of never truly being accepted is just because he's new? Does a certain test have to happen?
Worst part, Duke can't even complain, they showered him with love, and he tried too, he plans activities, though they always comply it doesn't help, he feels as if there's this void he can't seem to fill
What can he do to make his family well?
Is this because of that child?
(Name) Wayne?
He couldn't meet (Name), for they were already gone, when he first met Batman, when he first met the family, he didn't see anything wrong, no grieving, he thought it was odd, but it has been a year, no... Bruce would never forget a child, let alone his
Would he?
Then he saw, Duke thought he would try to make his family feel better, by asking questions about (Name), maybe recalling happy memories about that child would cheer them up
But they couldn't speak, Tim who is usually chatty would quiet down and keep to himself, Steph who would never make Duke feel lonely stepped away when asked
He saw no pictures, he heard no stories, He noticed no child.
His family, his new family couldn't have neglected and god forbid forgot a child?
The same one who took him in?
The same one he found peace with?
He knew the answer was right In front of him, Bruce often, though he cares about his kids, Duke knows Bruce is more of Batman than Bruce, And Batman loves his duty more than his kids
He knew the entire family put each other on second, Dick with the titans, Tim with young justice, Oracle with Birds of prey, this family puts family on second, but it doesn't mean they don't care
It sometimes makes Duke wonder if he'll find people that will push him to put the Wayne's second
Could it be, that everyone was so engrossed in their own lives, in their duty, their second make shift family, that they forgot about the first? that they forgot someone needed them, (Name) needed them
He knows they failed, and he's scared they might fail him too
Duke inhales and exhales, his eyes straight to Bruce "How long are you going to let your guilt eat you? You made a choice to pick your duty over your kid, so stand by it" he says
Duke knows they hurt someone, The Waynes hurt someone very vulnerable, but he can't bring himself to hate his family, they're the only one he has
Duke can't wait for the time he meets another family, maybe then he can let go of the Waynes
______________________________
"oh fuck we are so in trouble" you yell as a bunch of hippocampi swim further and further away from the camp
The harpies screech, and Mr. D- looks disappointed, as he's being held back by Hermes, you begin to think what would happen if Hermes lets go of his grip on Mr. D's arm
Percy shuts his eyes tight as he hugs his hippocampus "Thank you dad..." He whispered
Poseidon sending the hippocampi meant his father believed in him, that his father believed that he should be the one to save camp
And it made Percy believe he was enough, that he was strong
Despite the negligence Percy and the rest of the camp suffered, small moments that make the Gods show they care is enough for them
It made you wonder if your father had done the same, if he ignores you for months but pops in to check on you from time to time
Would you have stayed?
Would that have been enough for you?
Seeing as you hold on to the fact Aphrodite called you her favorite, you fear that you would have
______________________________
Duke knows the people he loves did something wrong, but because he loves them he can't bring himself to hate them, he waits to love another person more than he loves his family to leave
@ghostdoodlen @ratchetprime211 @delias-stuff @sadslasher13 @ellaprime7 @wpdarlingpan @mountvesuvu @chinxinsomnia @nathaly36 @vanessa-boo @bat1212 @ceramic-raven @sweetconnoisseurgardener @dhanyasri @bella-wolf100 @shortnsweetsposts @roseapov @d3sperate-enuf @d3kstar
#percy jackson#dc universe#dcu#percy jackon and the olympians#percy pjo#yandere#yandere platonic#yandere batfam#warmyanderepjoxdc#yandere batman#yandere tim drake#yandere jason todd#yandere dick grayson#yandere duke thomas#yandere damian wayne#yandere stephanie brown#yandere barbara gordon#yandere cassandra cain#yandere bruce wayne
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Tech Support
Alexia Putellas & Putellas!Reader (Jana Fernández x Putellas!Reader)
Word Count: 1.2k
[WOSO Masterlist]
“So I am… supposed to click this?”
Alexia’s hand is swatted away at record speed before she can make contact with the screen.
“No, this one.”
Who would’ve thought. Captain of the country. Legend of your club. The La Reina may be feared by players worldwide, but even she could be beaten by something as simple as a new phone.
The two of you have been at this for a couple hours now.
When your sister first slid the box across the table at you, your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. You didn’t even have time to thank Alexia before she crushed your dreams right then and there. What you first thought was a present for you turned out to be a resigned plea for help.
As the resident tech genius you were high in demand. Last week it was setting up your mami’s tablet. Yesterday it was fixing Olga’s laptop. And today it seems to be Alexia’s turn.
Though now that you think about it, “genius” may be a stretch. It’s not until the third time you stop yourself from throwing Alexia’s phone at her that she lets it slip that Alba was actually her first call for help. It’s no surprise to hear that your middle sister was quick to refuse, given that the last time she helped Alexia set up a phone resulted in heated words and staunch refusal to speak to one another for two weeks.
Given that she’s your club captain the loss in communication is something you can’t risk, but you’ve always thought of yourself as gifted when it comes to technology. If you could teach your mami how to use facebook without spamming her personal page with posts about you and your sisters, surely helping Alexia transfer her data and set up a new phone would not be too hard of a challenge.
Oh how you’re wrong.
Though you’re only eight years younger than Alexia, she still manages to struggle as if she’s well into her nineties.
Ask if she’s backed up her data? Might as well have told her to recite the first fifteen digits of pi.
Ask if she’s taken note of the apps she needs to redownload? Might as well have asked if she knew the secret to happiness.
Tell her to grant certain apps permissions to her phone? Might as well have told her you were transferring to Real Madrid.
Ask her to re-sign back into her multitude of accounts? Might as well have asked her to transfer to Real Madrid.
If you had known just how teeth pulling this would be, you would have left Olga to deal with Alexia herself.
Despite your clear and well-informed instructions of what to click where, which settings to enable or disable, Alexia kept bulldozing through your words, thinking she knew better.
Spoiler, she did not.
Jana’s already been by to give you some words of encouragement, but after the fifth time you quietly asked if she could make up an excuse to drag you out, she hunkered down on a nearby couch with Olga. The two of them, traitors at heart, are having a blast watching some trashy reality tv show while you struggle away with Alexia.
At this point you’re one more question away from factory resetting Alexia’s new phone, but a promise from Olga to buy you lunch and a burning desire to prove to Alba that you’re a better teacher than she is leaves you clinging to the last piece of sanity you have.
After what seems like an eternity, Alexia finally sits back from where she’s been hunched over your shoulder, poking and prodding at her phone.
“I still don’t understand why I have to set up a passcode when I could just use my fingerprint to unlock everything.”
The only word capable of describing Alexia at this moment in time is brooding. Arms crossed, face drawn in a frown, your thirty-year-old sister is brooding over your insistence at setting a passcode.
You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “What if you’re at training and you need Mapi to pull up something from your phone while your hands are busy?”
Alexia huffs, smile on her face as she thinks she’s got you. “Simple, I would never trust Maria with my phone!”
“Ale!” you groan. “That’s not the point.”
She’s not wrong. The last person to mistakenly trust the blonde haired woman with their unlocked phone received the device back with fifteen added stories to their instagram account. Though that was on the tamer side of what the defender was capable of, no one’s really let her borrow their phone since.
You catch Jana’s twinkling eyes over the back of the couch as she shares a giggle with Olga.
“Okay, what if I get hurt on the pitch and you’re too busy consoling me? I’m sure Jana would appreciate being able to use your phone to call mami to let her know I’ve been hurt.”
Alexia rolls her eyes. “First, Jana already has mami’s phone number. Pretty sure she likes your girlfriend more than the both of us.”
The number of times Eli has called you just to ask if Jana would be coming over for a family dinner would be insulting if you weren’t smitten with the idea of your girlfriend having fit right into your own family. Though the two of you haven’t officially been together long, years of friendship meant Eli was more than delighted when she found out the two of you were together. It also meant she was quick to catch Jana up on any and all family events she was hosting.
“Also, that’s not a problem because mami never misses one of our games so she’d already be there!”
It’s almost as if Olga can see the steam coming out of your ears. She’s quick to walk over, rubbing you back apologetically before throwing an arm around Alexia’s shoulder.
“Would you please set one for me, amor? Sometimes I misplace my phone and yours is closer.”
It’s maddening the way Alexia instantly starts nodding like a lovesick puppy. She plucks the phone right out of your hands, swiping until she can get to the right screen.
From over Alexia’s shoulder Olga gives you a wink.
With her girlfriend wrapped tightly around her, you take your cue to exit.
Jana opens her arms wide and you enter willingly. The older girl chuckles when you instantly bury your face against her stomach, arms tightening around her legs.
“I wanna go home,” you grumble, ignoring the way you can feel the vibrations of Jana’s laughter.
“Don’t you wanna stay for lunch?”
As much as you loathe the hours wasted on Alexia, the promise of free sushi did sound pretty good. All you have in your fridge is some leftover pasta from the night before, and you’re never one to pass up free food.
“Hermanita, what’s this I’m seeing about unlocking my phone with my face?”
You stiffen.
On second thought, leftovers didn’t sound too bad.
#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#jana fernandez x reader#jana fernandez imagine#woso x reader#woso imagine#Ace writes
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Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly
Previous - Part 8 - Next
"Hahaha! I still can't believe you drank mouthwash!"
You were all sitting on the floor in a circle, sharing some food from that day's supplies and playing cards while chatting.
You laughed while holding your stomach as you fell to the ground, making the man roll his eyes at your exaggerated reaction.
Swansea: "I thought you were never going to wake up, I needed something to endure this crap without you around trying to fix things."
"Aaaw! You worried about me!"
Swansea: "Of course! Careless captain!"
"You broke your sober years for me."
Swansea: "That doesn't count!"
Anya: "Well, it contained quite a bit of ethanol, so..." She mentioned with a chuckle.
Swansea: "If I say it doesn't count, it's because it doesn't count!"
Daisuke: "Hey! Who took my chicken-flavored noodles?? I was saving them!"
Anya: "Oh- were they yours? I'm sorry."
"You can have mine, they're shrimp flavor."
You extended your package to him, and after pouting, he accepted the change.
They were a month away from reaching the station, enjoying some time together, now they felt they could rest and enjoy since it seemed like things were going to be alright.
"I'll go see Curly."
You mentioned getting up ready to go to the infirmary.
As you walked through the hallways, you could hear several knocks coming from a door, and you approached to look through the armored glass in it.
You saw Jimmy's face appear on the other side, an angry look.
You raised one eyebrow at his expression.
"Do you need anything?"
Jimmy: "Get me out of this damn room!"
"I can't do that, you deserve to be locked up, like the animal you are. And Swansea should have already given you your rations, so you have nothing to complain about."
He hit the glass, making it resonate, but you couldn't help but smile at his anger, then continued on your way.
Upon entering the nursery, you saw Curly breathing heavily; you could tell he needed his painkillers.
You immediately looked for them to give them as you had been doing lately.
"You know... Everyone is much more relaxed now, we have hope."
You sat beside him, gently touching his cheek, not wanting to cause him pain or discomfort.
"Everything will be fixed soon... I promise... You're going to be fine... And maybe it's not so bad that they're going to fire us... Damn it, they're not even going to pay us the full amount for the work... But at least we'll be home."
You smiled leaning back in the chair until you noticed Curly's gaze on you.
"Listen! Maybe it can't be fixed—this whole thing" you gestured to all of his body and face "But let's try to fix it as much as possible, okay?"
You didn't understand why he started making sounds until you realized they were sobs.
"Oh no... No, no, no, darling listen, we are a team, we always were one and we will continue to be, okay?"
You saw how he raised what was left of his arms in pain, in an attempt to touch your face while sobbing, it hurted you so much not to be able to understand him.
At bedtime, you knocked on Anya's room door, and she let you in.
"I wanted to ask you... Did something happen while I was asleep?"
Anya: "Well... You were by Curly's side the whole time, we needed you in the nursery, and I stayed by your side... I was afraid that Jimmy might do something to you."
"I see..."
You sighed as you looked at her face, she gave you a somewhat tired smile.
"Can I sleep with you tonight? Please"
Anya: "Of course - it will be like a girls' sleepover."
They both settled into her bed, tucked themselves in, and talked for a few minutes until Anya fell deeply asleep on your shoulder.
While you were staring at the ceiling thinking that...
At some point, she had to sleep.
#mouthwash#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing#mouthwashing x reader#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#captain curly#captain curly x reader#mouthwashing curly#do it for them mouthwashing
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The Prince Regent
aemond x sister smut
A/N: I haven't given yall smut in so long :( pls forgive me
WARNINGS: smut!, incest, murder (bye bye aegon)
WORD COUNT: 1,475 words
You feel ill when your brothers come back from battle. Your husband, Aegon is a step away from death and Aemond is… different. It all unnerves you.
You spend hours visiting your husband on his sickbed but there’s only so much you can take before you have to retire to your own chambers. You hated Aegon sometimes but you truly never wanted such a thing to befall him. You miss when he was healthy.
“Sister.” You don’t think you even heard Aemond knock before he’s in your room.
Your eyes well with tears when you see him, knowing it’s okay to break a little when in the presence of your dearest brother. “Aemond…” you let out in a whimper.
His face softens as he immediately makes his way over to you, pulling you into his strong arms. “It’s just all so awful.” You say.
“Oh my poor, dōna riña.” He murmurs into your hair, rubbing circles on your back. You’re such a fragile little thing. Aegon was terrible to you. Your twin can hardly understand why you’re so upset that he’s bedridden.
“I just… don’t want my children to grow up without their father. They’ve already lost their brother. They don’t understand why he won’t come to play with them anymore. There’s no way for me to explain it to them… I don’t know how to help them.”
“Aegon was a shit father anyhow.” He comments.
“Aemond.” You give him a scolding look through your tears.
“You can’t say I’m being untruthful. Besides, I can care for and love your children better than he ever could.”
“You are so careful with them. I am appreciative of it of course.” You murmur, feeling comforted by your brother’s gentle touch. “But you shouldn’t speak so unkindly of our King while he lies on what might be his deathbed.”
“If it is his deathbed, then I am the king.” Aemond responds.
“Would it not be Jaehaera as queen?” You question. Should it not be your daughter who would rule next?
“It would be difficult to have a girl heading our cause when Rhaenyra is also a woman. Besides, i’ve been named Prince Regent. I’m the king in all but name… and all kings need a queen.” He gives you a look that you can’t quite place.
“I am sure the Baratheon girl will be ever so pleased when she is informed of her rise in status.” You murmur.
“I won’t have dark haired, Baratheon mutts as my heirs.”
“Then who shall you marry? One of Vaemond’s granddaughters perhaps? I don’t think a Velaryon is worth breaking such a beneficial betrothal.” You don’t see it yet. You haven’t caught on to what his words mean, his treasonous words.
“I shan't break my engagement for some woman I care not for... I’ll break it for you.”
Your jaw drops. “Aemond, that is absurd.”
“I will quell their anger by arranging a match with Daeron. A third son is as good as a second.”
“You know that isn’t what i’m shocked by.”
“Are you truly shocked?” He tilts your chin up so you have no choice but to look him in the eyes. “I know it is I that you desire, not Aegon.”
“Aegon is my husband.” You protest.
“Aegon is a useless cunt who will be dead soon.” Aemond says firmly. “And when he’s dead, i’ll be king.”
“He might yet live and if he does, i’ll still be his wife. I won’t be an adulterer.” You push away from your brother, creating an appropriate distance.
“I would never make such a woman of you. All I ask is that you answer my one question. If Aegon were dead, would you choose to marry me?”
There’s a long pause as you think about your answer. It would be treasonous to respond truthfully… but it is Aemond asking the question. You can’t lie to your beloved brother.
“I would.”
There’s a certain glint in his eye when you give him your answer. He leaves the room without saying anything else.
Over the next few hours, you try your hardest not to overthink. The way Aemond phrased the question, the way he looked at you after you answered, it was unnerving. You know your brother wants nothing more than to take care of you but he could never harm Aegon, could he?
Your question was answered by morning. Aegon is dead.
It wasn’t Aemond. You tell yourself, repeating it for a week. You only left your room when it was time for the funeral. You don’t speak to anyone, especially not him. Tonight, you don’t sleep, trying to distract yourself with what most would call silly feminine interests.
“Sister?” You look up from your needlework to see him standing there, stoically in the middle of your room.
“The hour is late, Aemond.” You say, confused by his presence and more than nervous by it.
“I know. You should be sleeping. I thought you would be sleeping.”
“I couldn’t find my rest.” You whisper.
“Why?”
He knows why.
“It was by your hand, was it not?”
“I hardly know of what you speak.” He brushes you off.
“I am no fool.”
“I know you aren’t. That is why you’ll never say it aloud.”
“Is that a threat?” You ask and there's a visible pang of hurt shown on his visage.
“I would never do anything to harm you.” He states firmly, getting closer and taking the needlework out of your hands so he may hold them instead.
“But you would covet your brother’s wife as he lies on his deathbed. He has been cold for but a week; have you already come to claim me?”
“You desire to be claimed by me.” He states, irritated by your current disdain for him.
“I desire a good man by my side.”
“Then why do you think of me when Aegon fucks you?” Aemond grabs your wrists, pulling you closer to him. You gasp. He’s never spoken to you like this before.
“Aemond…” You breathe out, appalled.
“You toil with this decision so i’ll make it for you.” His right hand slides down to your waist and he pulls you flush against him. “We will consummate tonight.”
He kisses you with rough passion, stealing your breath from your lips. Your brother has waited too long for this and will not wait a second longer. He pushes you back until you reach the bed, the two of you falling atop it.
“I will have you now, my wife… my beautiful bride.”
“This is… we can’t.”
“The King can do as he pleases.”
He wastes no time, reaching his hand up your skirts until he finds your small clothes. He rubs gently through the fabric, smirking as he feels the wetness before he pulls the garment down.
“Be gentle, Aemond.” It was never a request you would make of Aegon. Such a sentiment would do you no good with a man who takes pleasure in pain.
“Of course, my dōna riña but by the end of the night, my babe will be in your belly.”
You gaze up at him as he unbuckles his trousers, such a sweet nymphet was wasted on a bastard like Aegon.
You wince as his cock splits your tight cunt and he marvels at the grimace. He must be much more well endowed than the dead king to warrant such a response.
“Shh, I'm sorry. I know it hurts. Poor sweet angel.” He lets you adjust to him, wanting you to enjoy the times you will lie together just as he does.
When he no longer sees pain strewn across your face, he begins to thrust. A little choked gasp leaves your throat as he does; you never expected to enjoy such a feeling.
“Hmm, you like that?” He taunts, beginning to pick up to a pace that you can’t handle.
“Oh, it’s too fast.” You whimper, but he doesn’t slow. Your big brother knows what you can take. Besides, there’s a bit of sadism in every Targaryen man.
He begins to pound into you, relishing each moan his baby sister makes. It’s sick, but nothing brings him more pleasure than knowing he will be a better husband than Aegon in every way possible.
Aemond hooks one of your legs over his shoulder and the new angle lets him get even deeper inside you.
“Gods, you’re just sucking me in.” He wanted so desperately to last longer as he begins to furiously rub your pearl but the way you squeeze around him makes it hard.
His hips stutter but he knows you’re close too as you begin to spasm around him. He digs himself into you with one final thrust before painting your walls white with his seed.
“We will have the wedding this week, my darling. I’ll wait no longer for you.”
comment to be added to the taglist
#aemond targaryen#aemond smut#aemond targaryen smut#aemond#aemond targaryen x reader#hotd#hotd smut#hotd season 2
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SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH
genre. fluff. warnings. eric's yapping abt furry stuff 😟 reader hates on furries. slight make out. not proofread pairing. eric x fem!reader. wc. 951. request. no. a/n. @hursheys i hope this fulfills your eric delusions ☝️ i kinda hate the ending but whatever we're gonna roll with it. net. @deoboyznet
“So then he was like ‘well that’s totally furry behaviour’, and, obviously, I took offense to that. Cause, like, hello that’s absurd! I’m not a furry. I just bark occasionally—”
You were all too familiar with Eric’s chronic insomnia. Much like a toddler, if he didn’t do enough during the day to exhaust his endless energy, he could easily stay up all night with no sense of time or how tired other people (you) were. You closed your eyes, still half-listening to your boyfriend’s rambling, although you had lost the context of it a long time ago. If you were lucky, you might even be able to fall asleep to his yapping…
As if.
“So I was like, ‘dude, I have a girlfriend, why would you even suggest that’!? They went without me— good riddance— and I blocked them too, so there’s no need to worry. Maybe this is what Kevin meant when he warned me to stop hanging out with random people I meet on the streets. But, I met you on the streets too, so I can’t trust anything Kevin says anymore. Imagine if I hadn’t stopped to get your number at the crosswalk? My life would be so boring now!” Eric continued animatedly, drumming his fingers against the pillow that rested in his lap, picking out the rhythm to one of The Boyz’s songs.
“And I might actually be able to get some sleep…” You interjected with a tired whisper, rolling on your side to face your boyfriend. You opened your eyes with a pointed glare, and Eric’s let out a small “oh”.
“Right. Sorry, baby. You should sleep.” He said quickly, plopping down next to you and planting a quick kiss to your forehead. He was quiet for around 3 minutes, before you heard a small whisper close to your face.
“You don’t ever regret taking my number, do you?” You opened one eye to find Eric staring at you, his eyes wide like a puppy’s.
“No, I don’t regret it.” You said truthfully, a yawn coming in at the end of your response. Eric smiled slightly, his brain telling him that he should let you finally sleep, but it seemed his mouth had other ideas.
“What if I was a furry? Would you still date me?” You had to hold back a laugh at the question, assuming that it was a reference to his earlier rambling. Although you couldn’t recall how the full conversation had gone, you were pretty sure that even if you did, it wouldn’t help you understand Eric’s brain.
“Who said you weren’t already?” You asked sarcastically, earning a pout from the boy that was almost impossible to resist kissing.
“What if instead of talking to you I just barked in response?”
You raised an eyebrow at him, silently judging his train of thought that was getting increasingly more unhinged with every minute that went by. You being extremely tired didn’t help with your patience for his incessant questions. You loved your boyfriend, you really did. But sometimes you just wanted him to shut up and let you sleep.
“What if instead of walking—”
Eric thankfully was not able to finish his sentence, which you could only assume had something to do with crawling on all fours or galloping around like a pony, because you had finally given in to your thoughts and shut up his rambling with your lips. He was shocked at first, frozen in place from your sudden movement. But kissing you was as natural as breathing to him, so he quickly found his rhythm, pulling you closer by your waist and kissing you deeply.
“Was that a yes?” Came Eric’s first words when you broke off for air.
“If you mean breaking up if you became a furry, then definitely yes. Now shut your pretty mouth.” You stated clearly before crashing your lips onto his again, giving him no opportunity to protest.
It was surprising how easy it was to get lost in the kiss even when you were exhausted. With Eric eagerly leading, it was simple enough to just let him do most of the work. You tangled your fingers in his blonde hair as he squeezed your waist, letting his tongue slip past your lips gently.
It seemed your kissing idea worked wonders to exhaust your boyfriend’s energy, as when he broke it off and fell back onto the pillow, he wrapped you up in his arms and let his eyes fall close. You could feel his heart racing, your ear resting over his chest. His cheeks were flushed a pretty pink colour and his lips slightly swollen from the prolonged kiss. As his heartbeat slowed to a regular speed, you naturally matched your breathing with it, and the repetition lulled you to sleep quickly.
Eric held you tightly in his arms, listening to your steady breathing. He was tired, but his mind still raced with thoughts. Rather than meaningless questions he loved to throw at you, they all shifted to thoughts of you. He didn’t deserve your patience at the best of times, and was forever thankful that you truly loved him for himself.
He knew he could be overbearing and exhausting at times, but he tried his best to balance it with the soft romantic moments that you and him both loved. You were quite similar to each other, the more Eric thought about. Although you were definitely more subdued, which balanced his exuberant energy quite well.
He sniffed, not having realized until now that his eyes had welled up with tears from his thoughts. He sheepishly blinked them away and held you a little closer in his arms, falling into his dreamland with you.
↳ the boyz taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @blossominghunnie,, @cosmicwintr,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,,
@lecheugo,, @seunghancore,, @heavenfilm,, @recordsfilm,, @bananabubble,,
@talking-saxy,, @cupidslovearrows,, @hursheys,, @gong-fourz
#fics ❀˖°#deoboyznet#eric#eric sohn#eric x reader#eric sohn x reader#the boyz#the boyz x reader#tbz#tbz x reader#eric fic#the boyz fic#tbz fic#eric fluff#the boyz fluff#tbz fluff#tbz imagines#the boyz imagines#eric imagines#kpop imagines#tbz eric#the boyz eric#the boyz fanfic#tbz fanfic#the boyz kpop
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ooooo “Making the other person a Spotify playlist with songs that remind them of their relationship and growth” for Lando???
thank you for requesting! hope you like this one <3
lando norris x reader, 1.3k, request something from here!
There aren’t many times you can get Lando all to yourself. His job comes with many responsibilities, as does your own. You understand the time and hard work it takes to do what he does day after day, week after week, and you like to think the two of you have found a way to balance it all. Dinners together whenever you can, texting and calling between meetings; you even have a shared calendar on your phones to keep track of your hectic schedules.
Racing takes precedence on most weekends, of course. Some of them you’re able to attend, but lately things have been getting busy at your workplace nowadays, which means you’ve been working weekends too. Weekdays are slim pickings as well, with all of the traveling and training and things you have to get done as well.
With all that’s been happening lately, you haven’t been able to spend nearly enough time with Lando. Late evenings at work, long training days—everything seems like it’s been piling up until the only time you really get to spend with each other on days that he’s home is right before bed. And even then, it isn’t long before one of you inevitably falls asleep first.
Which is why when you miraculously find yourself and Lando with a totally empty schedule today, free of any work related commitments for either of you, you’re over the moon. He suggests a day trip up the coast, just the two of you and the open road. Honestly, you don’t even care where you go, you just want to be with him.
You’d think he’d be sick of driving given what he does for a living, but he just presses a kiss to your temple, saying that driving with you is something he’d never tire of.
That’s how you end up here, sitting comfortably in the passenger seat of Lando’s Miura, fingers intertwined with his as he cruises down the coastline. Crystal clear water dotted with boats and even bluer skies on one side, beautiful scenery on the other, and the man you love sitting right next to you—what more could you ask for?
“Like what you see?” Lando’s teasing voice draws you out of your thoughts, and you refocus to see him still with his eyes on the winding highway ahead. But he’s grinning rather smugly, a grin that only grows bigger when you huff. “It’s alright, you can stare at me all you want. I know how sexy you think I am.”
“That’s bold. Maybe I’m admiring the view.”
“Yeah, and the view is called my carved-by-the-gods side profile.”
“Someone’s a tad self absorbed. You’re voted top three hottest drivers on the grid one time and you start getting a big head, hm?”
“I beat out Carlos, baby! Carlos fucking Sainz! You’ve seen the man, do you know how that makes me feel?”
“Is there something I should be worried about, Lan? Are you going to leave me for Carlos?”
Lando snorts, aiming a brief but still effective skeptically arched brow at you. “Please, if I was gonna leave you for Carlos, I would’ve done it already.”
“Oh, cheers. That’s reassuring.”
“Happy to help.”
“Can I play some music? I need to drown out the sound of your complete and utter betrayal.” You grumble, slouching in your seat with crossed arms. Lando laughs and nods, passing you his phone. He knows you’re just being fussy for the dramatics of it all.
You scroll through his Spotify playlists in search of something that looks interesting, but one in particular instantly catches your eye. Labeled “For my love” with an absurd amount of heart emojis after, you can’t help but feel like maybe, just perhaps this one might be for you. Or for Carlos, but you’re ninety percent sure it's you.
Next to you, Lando inhales sharply through his teeth like he’s just remembered something, hand shooting out blindly. “Fuck, wait, hang on—”
“Lando…” You say, only slightly teasing. All previous betrayal is instantly forgotten. You shift so his wiggling fingers can’t reach the phone, giggling a bit at the garbled noise that escapes from his mouth. He’s obviously figured out what you’ve just come across. “What’s this?”
“You weren’t supposed to see that,” He sighs, cheeks already flushing pink. “It was meant to be a surprise.”
“You made a playlist for me?”
“Well, yeah. It’s sort of embarrassing.” He mumbles, suddenly sounding bashful.
“Oh come on, don’t get all shy on me now.”
“Alright, fine! At first it was for me. Just songs I thought you’d like, and I’d listen to it all the times I was away and we couldn’t talk. Or if I was nervous before a race and started spiraling. And then…it just turned into songs that made me think about you. Made me think about us.”
“There’s hundreds of songs on here, how did you even—when did you even start making this?”
Lando swallows hard, knuckles flexing on the steering wheel.
“Honestly? The day we met. Call me a weirdo, but from the moment I saw you I knew you were it for me. Took both of us a while to get our shit together, but I never stopped believing it.” He says softly, hastening a glance over at you. He smiles and shrugs, reaching out to thread his fingers through yours once again. “And the songs…I dunno, they’re just my way of remembering how we got here. I meant to save it for our next big anniversary, but you’ve mucked it all up by being nosy, so now the cat’s out of the bag!”
“You’re so fucking cute, babe,” You coo, leaning across the center console to press a smattering of kisses to the side of his heated face. “You made a whole playlist for me and listened to it when you missed me? That’s the cutest thing anyone’s ever done, you sap.”
“Yeah, alright. You can shut up about it now,” He grumbles, but he still looks pleased. “Have a look through it. I think I’ve got some good ones on there.”
The more you scroll through the list of songs, the more you feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest. It mixes your music taste and his, and in a way, it feels very representative of not only who you are as individuals, but who you are with each other.
It reads like a letter to you, to your relationship. To who you were back then and who you are now, who you’ve grown into together.
There’s no doubt that in the years you’ve known each other, you’ve both changed. You’ve had good times and not so good ones too, but one thing that’s always remained is each other. From friendship, to teetering on something a little more, to finally finding love with one another, Lando has been the most unwavering constant in your life. You think that deep down, it was something you already knew, even from the first time you’d met him.
“I’m gonna fucking cry, Lando,” You whine, emotion seeping into your words.
“Why? Is it bad? Is it too much?” He looks worried, but he can’t exactly take his eyes off the road to see why you’ve had the reaction you did.
“No, no. It’s perfect.”
His shoulders sag in relief, and the smile returns to his face. “Oh. You like it?”
“I love it.” You lift your joined hands, pressing a kiss to his knuckles that has him positively beaming with adoration. It goes without saying, but you truly don’t think you could love a person any more than you love Lando. You don’t want to, because he’s it for you.
“You know what else?” He hums his piqued interest, likely expecting more praise. “Carlos can suck it. I got a playlist, what did he get? Absolutely nothing!”
“For fuck’s sake, I was kidding!”
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#requested!#lando norris#lando norris x reader#ln4 x reader#lando norris x fem!reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fic#lando norris one shot#lando norris fluff
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Translated ver of this post by @doby-mans
Translated by google
Another idea I had for a DC x DP crossover, remembering canonically that Danielle went off on her own to different parts of the world.
This time, Young Justice. Danielle becomes part of the team, and everyone assumes she's a Martian, given that she focuses more on her magical abilities and skills like camouflage and phasing through walls.
But one day, Miss Martian falls ill and can’t use her telepathic powers to keep the team connected during a mission. They all turn to Danielle. Despite the setback, the mission goes well—they recover a dangerous magical artifact, a box with strange inscriptions. Finally, someone speaks up:
Superboy: “Why didn’t you establish a psychic link during the mission?”
Danielle: “Because I don’t have telepathic powers?”
Superboy: “We all know you’re a Martian like Miss Martian, so…”
Danielle: “I’m not! None of you understand the true nature of my powers, and maybe you never will! You don’t know what it’s like to be me!”
Robin: “What is it we don’t understand? Being different? Having powers no one fully comprehends? Being a teenager with raging hormones?”
Danielle: “No! Being an artificially created clone made in a secret lab!”
Impulse: “Let’s see, Superboy, Red Arrow, Robin… and now Danielle. Am I forgetting anyone?”
Danielle: “Wait, what?”
Superboy: “You’re not the first in that situation here. So, Martian DNA?”
Danielle: “Worse… The true nature of my powers… ghost DNA.”
Zatanna: “If that’s true, then you’re exactly what we need. According to the box’s inscription, only a halfa can open it.”
Danielle: Attempts to open the box but her hand starts melting. “Ah! I can’t… My ghost powers aren’t stable. This hasn’t happened in years.”
Robin: “Too bad there’s no other halfa to open the box.”
Danielle: “Well… that’s not entirely true. Besides me, there are two others. One is a dangerous villain—my creator—who disappeared years ago. And the other…”
Zatanna: “What about the other?”
Danielle: “The other… well, he’s…”
The entire Justice League, Young Justice, and Batfamily, who were either present or on the comms: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE GHOST KING?!”
Danielle: “He’s the only other halfa left in this world, and he’s much stronger and more stable than I am. Do you want to open the box or not?”
Batman: “This could be important. Call him.”
Danielle: “I already did. I asked him to meet us here at the Gotham base.”
Nightwing: “We might have a problem. We were in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack when what looks like a flying boy froze her in seconds.”
Batman: “Froze her?”
Red Robin: “That’s not all. Joker, Penguin, and Two-Face were attacking on the same street, and the same boy let out some kind of super scream that knocked all of them unconscious, including their henchmen.”
Danielle: “Oh no… He’s mad.”
Robin: “Uh… The same boy just duplicated himself and locked every villain and criminal in the city inside what looks like a box made of his own energy.”
Danielle: “Oh no, he’s really mad.”
Danny: Appearing directly behind her. “Of course, I’m mad! I told you to call me the moment you became unstable! You know what could’ve happened!”
Danielle: “I know, I know, but you don’t have to worry. I haven’t needed an ectoplasm injection in years. Meditation usually works.”
Danny: “Have you been melting before?!”
Danielle: “Don’t be so overprotective. I called you for a different reason.”
Danny: “Don’t change the subject. Don’t make me ask Clockwork to keep an eye on you.”
Red Hood: “Clockwork?”
Danny: “The Ghost of Time.”
Batman: “We need help with this box.”
Danny: “And who’s this furry?”
Danielle: “That’s Batman, the hero of this city.”
Danny: “Well, terrible job. I’ve been here for two seconds, and I already had to clean up the mess. That box… it looks a bit like Pandora’s Box. Where did you get it?”
Wonder Woman: “But Pandora’s Box should be protected by…”
Danny: “Pandora herself. In my realm. Exactly.”
Danielle: “We recovered it during a team mission. Apparently, only a halfa can open it, but I couldn’t, and it destabilized me.”
Nightwing: “I don’t know what confuses me more: the box thing or how many powers this guy has.”
Danny: “That’s easy. I have classic ghost powers, including the ones I used around the city. But as King, I have access to ancient magical artifacts, like the Crown of Fire, which greatly amplifies ghost power. Along with the Ring of Rage, the power would be infinite, but I made a deal with the former king. He keeps the ring and his freedom as long as he doesn’t cause chaos. Then there’s Aragon’s Amulet, which basically gives dragon powers. There’s also the Ghost Key, which can literally open any door, whether in my world or this one…”
Danielle: “Is the list of magical objects really that long?”
Danny: “I was just missing the Reality Gems, which could change reality itself as we know it. But, of course, I already destroyed those…”
Batman: “The box is the priority.”
Danny: “Right. We shouldn’t open it. If it’s like Pandora’s Box, then whatever’s inside is very dangerous. But fine, if that’s what you want…” Opens the box and immediately both he and Danielle feel overwhelming discomfort. “I know this feeling. It’s… a Blood Blossom.”
#batifamilia#dc comics#young justice#justice league#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#dps fandom#danny is a little shit#dc x dp crossover#batfam#danny fenton#ghost king danny#dani phantom#dani joins young justice#blood blossoms#danny is the ghost king#ghost#ghosts in gotham#batman
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i'm reading a new interview tim downie gave about gale and it offers some of tim's own headcanons about gale, as well as tim's thoughts and insights on gale's character:
Nerds & Beyond: I like that you mentioned that the game is full of rounded characters because they are, they all have different aspects that make them feel real. I adore that Gale specifically is so serious and studious, but at the same time he has this really playful side — he often jokes about how he was a mischievous youth, he encourages other people like Arabella to do so, he understands when The Dark Urge first mentions their violent thoughts. There is a lot of nuance and depth there. But the quality that I love with Gale most is that obviously he is very ill when we first meet him – not that we know immediately – and he’s dealing with a lot of chronic pain. I find him incredibly selfless because he takes that day-to-day head on to help the party, which is an aspect I feel continues to show throughout the three acts. What’s your favorite quality of Gale’s, or what did you take away from him? Tim Downie: It’s so interesting hearing you say that, because I had so many different feedbacks about what people take from the character and sometimes things really surprise you. It’s interesting hearing that such and such has taken that particular aspect, because there are broad things like “He’s funny,” and that’s quite nice, that’s a nice trait, though not one you necessarily get to see that much. It’s so interesting hearing other people’s views about what they take from Gale. The idea of dealing with chronic pain I found really interesting and an interesting subplot to play, and that was the great thing about doing something like this is that it is so unbelievably nuanced. You have so many layers that just keep going and going and going, as much as we all contain multitudes within ourselves. We all deal with these things, but only certain things pop up to the surface at any given point. What did I take from Gale, though? I liked his studiousness. I would imagine that he was probably bullied as a kid for it, and he was probably a bit of a joker because he was bullied, and he uses that as a defense. But an even bigger defense for him is “I now know stuff that I didn’t before,” and that’s a power. It’s very similar to when you are being bullied and you’re the funny one – that’s your power, that’s your thing. “I may not be able to hurt you in a traditional sense, but I can say things that will make you feel pain,” which is a very different thing because you physically can’t go after them. That’s the wonderful thing about acting and this character as well is being able to explore all these things that you might not have, that you might have gone, “I’m not gonna look at that again, I don’t want to deal with that,” and then it brings it up again and it’s like, “Oh, this is actually quite cathartic,” to re-explore these these moments of sorrow and loss and how you deal with grief and things like that and heartbreak and how you get over that. It’s not all just tears, you do try and make a joke of it.
i really like that they are addressing the topic of gale's chronic pain. it's something that doesn't get addressed often, not even in the game itself.
i also found his answer as to why people might connect to gale very nice:
Nerds & Beyond: Gale is the most popular origin character to play as. What is it about him that you think allows so many different players to connect with him to the depths the fandom has? Tim Downie: I really don’t know. I think you’d have to ask the players that, ‘cause I don’t know, to be quite honest with you. He’s a wizard, and who wouldn’t want to be a wizard at the end of the day? I always say the difference between wizards and sorcerers is that sorcerers just pretend – they just assume they know what they’re doing, but a wizard has really learned this trade. And so there’s that kind of weight of knowledge and learning, which I would love to play as and be for a length of time. I think it’s also the frailties. I like characters, and a lot of people do I’m assuming, that have flaws, otherwise you’ve made them completely unapproachable. To be completely superhuman or completely extraordinary at something then removes the humanity from it because it becomes like, “Well, that’s never gonna happen.” But when there’s a flaw, when there’s, “Oh, I’ve got that wrong, too,” or like, “My knees hurt” as you say, or “I’ve got a bit of a headache. I really don’t want to do this,” “You’re really annoying me, this is very annoying, could you please hurry up?” or “Stop licking the damn thing,” it’s always those moments that are fun because it shows what we’re all thinking at that point, it removes it from almost archetype and stereotype and it becomes human in a way.
gale is approachable and likeable, has flaws, but is genuinely nice. i think that very much sums up his character.
this bit here made me laugh:
Nerds & Beyond: When you’re talking about those different layers in the humanity building, I think one of the most important aspects in this game is the more “background” or passive dialogue, so dialogue that is prompted in the world and not in the cut scenes. For instance — the first time I made Gale sneak he immediately complained about his knees, and it was such a real moment where he was just like, “Oh, don’t make me do this. This is not what I’m here for, I’ve got bad knees and I’m not made for this.” Did you have any of those background lines or moments that stick out as being particularly fun to craft? Tim Downie: I remember the first time I ever had to do waiting, I found it infinitely interesting in so many ways. The idea that I did actually just have to wait and just actually, “Hmm…” Those little things I find really funny because they’re probably the closest to me that the character ever gets. His waiting mannerisms are kind of very English – slightly annoyed and I’m not going to show it to you though because we’re all being very nice, but I’ll do it with a huff and a slightly sarcastic, “Well, that’s great. Another 20 minutes. That’s great.” Those kinds of sentiments I found wonderful and incredibly fun, and funny, to do.
if you want to read the whole interview for yourself, you can do so here!
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3#tim downie#ch: gale dekarios#actor: tim downie#vg: baldur's gate 3#series: baldur's gate#please keep in mind that this is not canon and just tim sharing his thoughts#i'd just like to add that as a general disclaimer
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two geniuses (a vacancy gone wrong)
enemies to lovers;; spencer reid x fem reader!
masterlist!
sypnosis;you get a couple of days off, so you decide to spend them on a california hotel. except things start to go wrong when you meet spencer there. and later on, when you find yourself with cuffs around your wrists. there might be a killer whose obsession revolves around you. and he seems to have focused on reid as well. heads will start to roll!
cw; +18 content! minors dni!, talk of murder, graphic scenes, weapons, blood, alcohol consumption, tension, lots of fighting and bickering, lots of tension, teasing, flirting, pool scene!!!!!, reader gets drunk and flirts with spencer, spencer gets jealous? over another guy, spencer is confused, sharing one bed!!, murder of a secondary character, stalking, towards reader, secret murder admirer obsessed with reader… angst, fluff and smut in upcoming chapters!!!
you took a deep breath, a smile making your soft lips curl as the salty air hit your skin along with the warmth of california.
hotch had given you and the team a couple of days to relax. the last couple of weeks had been very intense with cases and lots of jet flights. all of you deserved a little time to wind down.
and so you’d chosen to gift yourself a four day vacancy on a 5 star beach hotel.
you were enjoying the feeling of the sun tanning your skin, the company of a good book and the cold comforting feeling of a margarita going down your throat when you crashed against something solid, your liquor splashing itself down your chest, making your exposed —claded in bikini— skin sticky.
but that wasn’t the worst of the situation. it was who you’d crashed against.
“you must be fucking kidding me…” you muttered to yourself. what the hell was he doing here?
he seemed as surprised and pleased to see you as you were to see him. your name fell from his lips in a breath.
“fuck.” you swore, trying to get the drink out of your skin. “there goes my fucking drink.” you sighed.
“nice to see you too.” he scoffed, trying to not look down at your exposed body.
you rolled your eyes. “what the hell are you doing here, reid? came to make my life a misery even on vacancy?”
“you wish. i’m actually here for my vacancy as well. just my luck to bump into you.” he explained, seeming as uncomfortable for having shared traveling destination with you as you were.
you sighed. “look. you don’t like me, i don’t like you. so let’s just… pretend we don’t know each other, hm?” you offered. “just want a couple of days away from everything i know.”
he nodded. “yeah, okay.” and just as he accepted, someone else came to find you.
“hey… is everything alright?” your eyes met matt, a guy you’d met on the pool of the hotel. spencer frowned at the unknown face, by the way he talked to you and touched your shoulder he seemed close. maybe a fling?
“yeah, sorry to keep you waiting, just… my drink.” you smiled at him, and something about it made spencer’s stomach churn. he’d never seen you smile. well, you’d never smiled at him like that. but he should understand that. your relationship wasn’t the best.
“oh. don’t worry, i’ll get you another one, hm?” he said, and you nodded. “you two know each other?” he inquired, and just as spencer was about to explain that you worked together you stepped in and shook your head.
“no. i’ve never seen him before.” the man nodded, and you took his hand. “let’s go.”
spencer watched you walk away with matt, his irritation growing stronger. he clenched his jaw so hard it aches, trying to compose himself. he couldn't understand why he was feeling this way, but he knew he had to get a hold of his emotions.
deep down, something screamed at him something that he already knew, but he dismissed it as simple hatred for your presence on his well needed vacation.
it seemed to be that his holiday wasn’t off to a great start.
-
he should be able to look away. but he couldn’t.
the hotel club was pretty full, but once spencer spotted you dancing with matt on the dance floor he couldn’t take his eyes away from you. he couldn’t help the sourness washing over him, his heart tightening at the sight of someone else making you laugh. his hazel eyes follow your every move, his attention completely focused on you. he tries to think of quantum theories, trying to lighten up his mood but it doesn’t help.
over the last few weeks he’d tried to stop thinking about that night with lila. he’d never thought that the sight of a gun pointing to your head would scared him so badly, but it had terrified him.
his head had flown towards you. there was no more lila. just you. he could still remember your pissed off face when the unsub had caught you. if only you knew the truth…
he watched as matt put his hands on your hips, and with a thick gulp, faced the bar, ordering a strong drink in an attempt to drown out his thoughts.
spencer can't help but watch you and Matt from his seat at the bar. he can see you drinking heavily, downing drink after drink as you dance your mind away. he worries about the amount of alcohol running through your veins, and in the back of his mind he tries to ignore the fact that this man could possibly be a killer.
although his worries disappear when matt gets a call.
he seems worried, and with a quick chat he leaves you. you seem disappointed, and made your way out of the club.
…
next time he sees you, it’s when he’s going back to his room. you’re in the pool, fully dressed, floating and looking at the starry sky. you look like a painting, and he doesn’t realize he had been staring until you notice him.
“reiiiiid” you sung out his name. “what are you doing here?” you giggled, looking at him through hooded eyes.
“i should be asking that question. are you drunk?” he inquired. he looked good. with a white sheer shirt —which sleeves were rolled up his arms—, short linen cream pants and a pair of brown shoes. his hair fell on soft curls around his face. you wondered if they’d feel as silky as your mind made you believe.
“maybe… why?” you turned around, water spilling down your chest.
“you know how easy it is to drown while intoxicated?” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “alcohol increases the risk of drowning by impairing judgement, reducing coordination, and delaying reaction time.”
“yeah, yeah… always the same genius, huh? you don’t know how to have fun!” you exclaimed, rolling your eyes.
“i know how to have fun.” he retorted, a soft frown tugging from his perfect brows. something inside you tugged in the need to smooth it out with your fingertips.
you hummed, ignoring his words. “get in.”
“what?” he incredulously spat.
“the water feels amazing, spencer, grab a suit and get in.” you repeated, and he shook his head, his tone changing.
“i’m not gonna grab a suit or get in.”
“but why? we’re on vacation! isn’t that what people on vacation are supposed to do?”
“yeah well i’d prefer it if you didn’t die, not want gideon or hotch coming down on me for it .” he muttered, to what you once again were rolled your eyes. “can you get out of the pool? please?”
you groaned. “fine…”
you got under the water once again, swimming your way towards the edge of the pool and the profiler, who expectantly waited for you.
“can you at least help me get out?” you asked, offering him your hand, he sighed, slightly scrouching down to take your hand, struggling when you didn’t seem to be helping him to get out of the pool, rather, you seemed to be pulling from him.
“what are you…?”he tried, but before he knew it, the cold water was engulfing him, soaking his clothes and body.
once his head breached the edge of the water he heard your laughter, his honey hair all over his face as he pushed it back with his hands.
“ha, ha. very funny. laugh it up, y/n.”
“oh my god, you should have seen your face!!” you chuckled, hugging your stomach due to how hard you were laughing.
“god, i would drown you…” he sent you daggers with his eyes, muttering under his breath curses as he looked at his state.
“woah spence, that’s a weird kink you’ve got. thought about talking it with a therapist?” you mocked him, using his own words to stab him.
he let out a single dry chuckle “you’re real funny tonight, huh?”
“i always am funny, you’re just too stuck up to notice.” you shrugged your shoulders, nearing him. your eyes on his exposed chest, now that the sheer shirt had almost become invisible due to the water. you’d never expected him to look like that… his chest was formed, with great wide muscular shoulders and defined abs…
“stuck up?” he scoffed.
“you don’t relax. ever.” you nodded. “you never enjoy yourself.” you looked up at him as you stood on the pool. suddenly, he seemed so tall…
“yeah?” he inquired, his eyes on yours, his muscles tensing when your hands fell on his shoulders.
“yeah…”you bit down on your bottom lip. “just look at you, so worried i might drown. you’re so cute.”
spencer is caught off guard by your sudden comment, his expression softening for a moment. he feels a flutter in his stomach, but he quickly tries to push it aside.
"excuse me? what did you just say?"
he can't help but be taken aback by your sudden flirtatiousness, his heart rate picking up slightly as he processes your words.
“i said… that you’re cute spencer. didn’t know you cared so much about me.” you chuckled, your arms surrounding his neck.
his eyes widen, feeling a mixture of surprise and something else he can't quite identify. he can feel your body press against his, and his mind starts to race with conflicting emotions.
you’re warm. so warm… and your skin is soft.
his heart is pounding as he stares at you, his mind struggling to process what's happening. After a few moments of silence, he finally speaks.
"of course I care... i wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you."
“you’re just worried about hotch and gideon being pissed if i died.” you tease and spencer can't help but chuckle at your comment, shaking his head slightly. he's surprised by how playful you're being in this situation, but at the same time he feels a warmth spreading through his chest as he hears your words.
"yeah, I have a feeling they wouldn't be thrilled if I had let anything happen to you." he says softly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“hmm, your smile” you hum, looking at it.
he frowns, his lips tightening in a thin line.
"i didn't realize my smile was such a big deal," he says, a hint of a blush creeping up his cheeks.
“no, it’s just… i’ve never seen it before.” you mutter.
“i guess i don’t smile ever so often.”
“no. you don’t. you’re usually all frowns around me.” you chuckle.
“you and your awesome personality don’t help me smile.” you scoff.
“well it’s pretty…, your smile i mean.”
“you’re drunk.” he answers and you roll your eyes.
“i am. but i know a pretty boy when i see one, reid.”
spencer feels a heat rising to his cheeks as he hears your compliment. he's caught off guard by how casually you said it, like it's a simple fact. like statistics, like victimology. and it strikes him.
"you think I'm pretty?" he asks, his voice slightly teasing as he quirks an eyebrow.
you hum, pulling him closer and down into the now warm water.
“what are you doing?” he asks, frowning. confused. everything is confusing him.
“nothing…”your fingers dug on his wet locks, brushing them away from his face, his puppy hazel eyes digging into yours.
“you’re definitely doing something.” he whispered, trying his best to not let show the shiver that went down his spine when your nails scratched his nape.
“want me to stop?” you breathed out, almost choking when his hands held you by your waist, his fingers digging on your hips.
no.
spencer's heart races as he hears your question. he knows he should say yes, that he should step away and put some distance between you.
but instead he find himself leaning into your touch, his eyes locked onto yours. he feels like he’s the intoxicated one. like he’s drunk off of his mind. ‘cause somehow, this close distance with you doesn’t feel bad. quite the opposite. he likes it. and that scared him to death.
his voice a low, husky murmur. “we should get you to bed.” he advised, to what you smiled, falling into his chest.
“i’m not tired.” you breathed onto his neck, making his skin grow on goosebumps.
“god you’re absolutely gone, aren’t you? you’re gonna hate me so bad tomorrow…”
“probably…” you snickered.
you stare up at him, one of your hands on his chest as his hazel eyes shifting from your eyes to your lips. you bit down on your bottom one the moment your own eyes fell to his mouth, the image of lila kissing him weeks ago replaying in your mind. you wondered how it would feel like, how his lips would feel like, would they be soft? would they feel as plush as they look? how would he kiss you? would he be sweet? would he be rough and mean?
the two of you seemed to near the other, got closer, like two magnets being pulled to each other.
your breaths mingled, and his hold on your waist tightened. “we shouldn’t.” he muttered, his eyes slightly fluttering at the scratching on his scalp.
“why?” you inquired, tilting your head to the side to get closer. he seemed to be fighting with himself. internally. to push you away? to not devour you?
but deep inside, spencer knew the truth. he knew the reason for his hatred towards you. the murdering need to keep away from you, when all his body begged for was to keep you close. he wasn’t ready to accept it yet, though. he wasn’t ready to let himself know that he wanted you. and so he denied himself of the pleasure that would be holding you closer.
“‘cause you hate me, and you’re drunk. you probably won’t remember a thing tomorrow.” he explained. always the gentleman…
“does that mean you would kiss if i weren’t drunk?” you inquired him, catching the moment his breath hitched. his mouth fell open, unable to form words, and you smiled. devilishly. he should have seen it coming, but he was so entranced that by the time he had caught on you were already drowning him.
“got you!” you laughed, seeing the pissed of expression he sent you. he was seething. “god reid, didn’t know you had the hots for me!” you teasingly pinched him to what he groaned, taking you by your hips and getting you on his shoulder as if you weighted nothing, making you shriek as he walked towards the stairs out of the pool. he was gonna carry you to your room if he needed to.
“you’re getting in bed, now.” he spat, to what you couldn’t help but tease him one more time with a…
“in yours?”
-
“fuck! come on!” you cursed as the door locked you out once again. “it’s not fucking working!” you’ve been trying to get into your room for the last 5 minutes. it wasn’t working.
“here, let me try.” spencer offered you his hand, and you handed him your card, only for his try to be negated again. “there must be some kind of problem with the key.”
“i’ll guess i’ll have to go to reception and get it fixed.” you slurred, taking the key.
“that’s not gonna happen. it’s closed.” spencer sighed, to what you frowned.
“closed? why?”
“some technical problems with the computers, didn’t you see the sign this afternoon after lunch?” you groaned.
“and what am i supposed to do now? sleep on the corridor?” silence filled the space you two
share, until spencer’s lips parted.
“you could stay in my room.” he said. “i mean it’s only a few doors down. tomorrow morning you could get your key fixed. and i could lend you some clothes to change to, since you know, yours are soaked…” he started to ramble.
“share room with you? thought you would rather die.” he rolled his eyes.
“i mean it’s not exactly my dream, but i can’t leave you here all alone.” you cooed.
“what a gentleman. who knew you’d have it in you, huh?” he scoffed.
“i’m not doing it for you, i’m doing it for
gideon.” you hummed, watching him take out his key and start walking towards his door, guiding you and opening it for you.
his room was the same as yours; small, one bed, one bathroom. you hadn’t thought about the fact that you would have to share a bed with him. you smirked, wanting to tease him further. get on his nerves.
“you sure it’s not cause you want me in your bed, reid?” you laughed, and he looked at you.
“you get drunk and your IQ lowers, huh?” he retorted, grabbing a pair of new and untouched boxers, shorts and a shirt for you to change onto.
“i’m smarter than you.” you scoffed, legs wobbly.
he hummed, giving you the clothes. “here. change into this, i’ll put your wet clothes out to
dry so tomorrow- woah! what are you doing?!” he quickly covered his eyes, looking away as you started to pull from your tank top, getting rid of it. you looked at him as if he were dumb.
“changing?” he heard you unbuckling your shorts.
“well, there’s the bathroom for that!” he panicked, his cheeks warming up when he caught a glance at the exposed skin of your stomach and cleavage.
“you think i can make it there without falling? you have high hopes for me.” you slurred, laughing.
“god.” he quickly got a change of clothes and left for the restroom, his cheeks crimson red and his breathing heavy. it was easy to hate you, easier than actually thinking about what you really got out of him. how close you two stood in the pool, the look in your eyes, your teasing, your undressing… “get a hold of yourself, reid.”
remember. she’s a pain in the ass. she drives you crazy.
she drives you crazy, she drives you crazy, she drives you crazy…
once changed in his pajamas, he came out, finding you already changed and sitting on his bed.
“i already put the clothes to dry.” you muttered and he nodded.
he silently stared at you, at your still damp hair, clear skin, beautiful eyes… at your body clad in his clothes, at how big his white button shirt was on you, how it reached your thighs, how…
“aren’t you gonna get in?” you ask him, snapping him out of his mind. it wasn’t as if he was engraving the image into his eidetic memory…
“oh, yeah.” he quickly moved, surrounding the bed to get on the other side as you ruffled with the sheets, covering your exposed legs.
the two of you laid there in complete silence. he had his hands on his stomach. he laid like a mummy, what made you chuckle.
“well this is absolutely not awkward.” you muttered and he sighed.
“well excuse me for not being thrilled for having you in my bed.” you chuckled. “you’re not exactly my dream roommate.”
“you wish i were.” you retorted and he scoffed.
“oh yeah, totally. you caught me.” he sarcastically said and you laughed. “anyways, shouldn’t you be sleeping? by the time of alcohol you’ve ingested you should be passed out cold.”
“you underestimate me, reid.”
“i’ve noticed…” he muttered.
“i’ll let you sleep now, i know geniuses need their sleep hours to function properly. or at least men, but even with that they seem to
not really achieve it.” he chuckled.
“thanks?”
“you’re welcome, agent.”
“it’s doctor.” he corrected and you rolled your eyes, moving onto your side to give him your back.
“whatever. later.” you said your good nights and he hummed, moving just like you and closing his eyes.
ten minutes later the two of you were passed out.
-
it’s the next morning and your head is pounding as you wake up. reid is already up, reading on the room’s desk. of course. very of him.
memories or last night fill your mind and you curse. what the hell were you thinking? maybe you weren’t. you were drunk. that had to be it.
“well if it isn’t the sleeping beast.” he says and you groan, taking your temples.
“isn’t it supposed to be the sleeping beauty?” you inquire.
“i said what i said.” you roll your eyes. of course. “nice hangover right?”
“yeah and your voice surely doesn’t make it any better.” he chuckles, his eyes still on the pages.
“your clothes are dry, left them on the bed.” he announced, and that’s when you see them. you took them, muttering a ‘thanks’ before going to the bathroom and change in between curses and groans that only seemed to amuse more the genius on the other part of the room.
“not funny!” you tell when you can practically hear his smile.
“it actually is. funnier than actually seeing you drown yesterday.” you roll your eyes, opening the door of his room to leave. he quickly stands, following you. “where are you going?”
you groan, your head hurting so bad it was almost like a migraine.
“why do you care?”
“well actually, hotch called and he told me to…” his words died in his mouth when the two of you came face to face with police officers.
“y/n y/l/n?” one of them inquired and you nodded, frowning when one of them harshly manhandled you and pushed you against the wall.
“hey! what the fuck? what are you doing?!” you tried to fought, but he was handcuffing you as the other agent recited your rights.
“you’re under custody for the murder of matthew jackson.”
“reid?” i looked at him with panic in my eyes. he was in shock.
“no, you must have it wrong. we’re fbi agents.” he tried to stop them but they were taking you away.
“yeah, and i’m mary poppins.” the agent scoffed.
“reid!” i yelled for him as they pulled you away.
“i’ll talk to hotch! i’ll find you!” he promised, and you only hoped he would keep it.
…
“i’m not talking until my teams gets here. deal with it.”
“we’ve already called them, they are on their way.”the officer disregarded your comment.
“only part of the body was found. now tell me.” the interrogator stared you down. “where’s. the. head.” you groaned.
“oh, i don’t know! i must have dropped it on my way here, come on!” you sarcastically said. he slammed his hands on the table to which you were cuffed up.
“where’s the head!?”
you slammed your hands back. “if you don’t shut up your head will be rolling next!!” you yelled back. you were irritated. your head was pounding, and now you were cuffed being interrogated for a crime you had not committed first thing in the morning! you hadn’t even had your coffee for gods sake. he gave you a glare. “look. i didn’t do shit. i’m not the killer.”
“we found the body in your room.”
“i wasn’t in my room yesterday. i left it at 6pm and spent the night out.”
“lies!”
“actually, it’s the truth.” your eyes met those hazel ones as spencer made his way into the interrogation room, being followed by hotch.
“doctor reid and agent hotchner. fbi.” they showed their badges. “you’re interrogating one of the members of my team about a crime she has no matter in.” you sighed in relief when you saw them, spencer making quick work of taking off his suit’s jacket to give it to you, since your tank top exposed you.
something about it made you feel calmer, safer. also surprised you. he wasn’t kind to you, at least not if that meant nothing in return. maybe last night events had changed something.
“if she doesn’t have an alibi i’m on the right to keep her here as long as i see fit.” the officer challenged the brunette man.
“she has an alibi. i can prove she wasn’t in his room on the time of the death.” reid said and the officer looked at him.
“oh yeah?”
“yeah. i can, because she spent the night with me…in my room.”
silence fell into the room, and you coughed, clearing your throat.
“now. will you release my agent?” hotch recomposed himself and the officer sighed shaking his head and taking the keys to your handcuffs out.
once released you got up from your seat, putting on spencer’s jacket to cover your semi-exposed chest. your holiday clothes were not the best to work on the field, even less to get arrested on.
“you okay?” hotch checked up on you, and you nodded, massaging your temple.
“yeah, besides the fact that if had you hadn’t shown up now we would have had a second case…” you joked, making him chuckle as you three get out of the interrogation room, meeting with the rest of the team.
derek whistles when he sees you. “well if it isn’t the hottest serial killer in the USA!” you flip him the bird. “nice to see you too sweetheart.”
“here.” jj handed you pain killers and a bottle
or water, what made you almost cry in relief.
“oh thank god, my head is about to split open.” you said while taking them, making quick work of swallowing a pair.
“agent hotchner, thank you for coming.” one of the detectives of the police station suddenly approached you and your group. “and these must be agent morgan, gideon, prentiss, jareau and doctor reid.” he offered them a handshake. “doctor reid, not agent. agent y/n was very specific about that when she asked for all of you.” spencer frowned, tilting his head with a confused but amused smile as he shook his hand. you rolled your eyes when his attention shifted towards you, seeing his eyebrows raise. “sorry for my agents’s actions. you know… protocol.”
“we understand it, sir. what can you tell us about the case?”
“ ‘doctor reid?’ “ he teased you, leaning onto you and you pushed him away.
“whatever reid, don’t think this means i like you. ‘cause i don’t.” he hummed, that fucking smirk still plastered on his face.
“we share bed one night and you’re already falling for me, y/n?” i scoff.
“you wish, reid. now wipe that smirk out of your face before i rip it off.” he chuckled.
“you sure you don’t wanna rip my head off instead?” he jokes and you give him a dirty look. “what? it’s funny.”
“excuse me?” all of you turn at the sound of an unknown voice. it’s a post man, holding a box in between his hands. “package for y/n y/l/n?” you frown. the whole team seemed to frown. how could somebody know you would be here?
“uhm yes, that’s me.” you stepped forward, and the post man nodded, taking out a digital pad.
“need you to sign this.” you nodded, approaching him, taking the box. it was heavy, ‘fragile’ printed on its sides. “a letter came with it.” he explained giving you the envelop as well. he took off just as fast as he got what he wanted, leaving you with it.
“what is it?” emily inquired and you shrugged, leaving it on a table of the office.
“no idea.” you answer while cutting the tape open. your heart falls to your stomach when you uncover what hid behind the cardboard. “oh god…” dead well known eyes stare right into your soul, a note written in blood calls your name. “it’s matt…” you feel like getting sick.
you step away and the team takes a look. “well, now we know where the head is…” morgan said, and jj gives him that look.
“yeah, seems like we have and admirer too…” gideon pointed out as spencer put on a pair of gloves and took the note. he recognized the victim as the boy you’d met at the hotel.
“‘loosing my head for you.’” he read out loud. “seems like it was written in blood too.”
“there’s also a cassette, guys.” emily points out, taking it out of the box, careful to not go near the bloody head. there’s a sticker on it, black ink that begs a ‘play me’. hotch takes it off the hand of the brunette and pulses the play button.
a distorted voice fills your ears. “i know… i know… you might don’t like this side about me, y/n. but i couldn’t stand still while that creep took glances at what belongs to me! you’ve gotta understand! i love you. i just want the best for you. to protect you…” his voice although unrecognizable seemed soft, as if a lover tried to make his other half understand the why behind this actions. “if you don’t believe me, take a look inside the letter that came with the box. see you soon, love.”
your eyes fell on the letter, your hands following suit, ripping it open, pictures falling from its inside and spreading themselves on top of the desk. it were pictures of you, in your bikini, in your room, changing clothes… you took them in between your fingers.
“he was stalking you?” emily inquired.
“seems like it.” morgan chirped in. “wait. is that spencer?” he stopped you, and you frowned, taking the picture. it was a photo of the two of you, him carrying you on his shoulder across the pool court and towards your room.
“there’s something written on the back…” you mutter, turning it around, ink scattered along the white. ‘WHO’S HE?’
“seems like the holidays are over.” hotch said, and you sighed.
definitely over.
-
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being seduced by stripper gojo
characters: gojo x fem reader warnings: 18+, smut, stripper, strip club, pole dancing, revealing outfits, lap dance, strip tease, dirty talk, dry humping
you have no idea what compelled you to come here, but there’s no denying that you’ve been stressed lately, and you need to let loose, at least for one night. the atmosphere is nice—all cool toned colours and dim lighting and music loud enough to drown out any thoughts of doubt you might have about spending the late evening hours at a strip club of all places. the most highly rated strip club, in fact, with the hottest men around. there’s bound to be someone who’s your type. or so you’ve been told.
these places are designed to be inviting, you know. but that doesn’t mean you’re immune to their tactics, enticing viewers into a world of sin. everywhere you look, there are attractive bodies flaunting around the room, guys with flirty smiles and skin showing and downright scandalous outfits, all giving you more attention than you’d normally get anywhere else.
admittedly, you’re already kind of turned on just from being in the midst of all this. maybe that makes you an easy target. maybe you don’t care. walking around, you let yourself enjoy everything there is to offer, and it doesn’t take much to learn that you’ve arrived just in time for something exciting that’s about to happen.
tonight, there seems to be only one topic of conversation: gojo satoru, one of the most highly requested dancers, is going to make an appearance. from what you’ve gathered so far, he’s supposedly very good at his job, and many people have been anticipating his show this whole week. and it’s scheduled to start in only a few minutes.
finding a seat for yourself, you join the crowd in waiting for the upcoming performance. because you’re curious now. all of the workers here have been extremely good-looking and know how to flirt with the audience, using their bodies to their advantage. what is it that sets satoru apart from the rest?
thankfully, you don’t have to wait long because the person who steps onto the stage next can only be satoru, given the cheers that immediately erupt into the air as soon as he walks into view. seeing him now, you can understand right away why he has such a well-known reputation among the regular patrons here.
satoru enters the stage wearing very little, which seems to be the norm among the dancers. there’s a black choker around his neck. his entire upper body is fully exposed, save for the two thick bands of suspenders that run down his chest, conveniently covering his nipples. lower, a pair of tight, tight underwear hangs off his hips, barely functioning to hide anything.
beside you, you hear people saying, holy fuck, he’s hot, and yeah. you wholeheartedly agree. if you’re being honest, satoru looks like someone who has stepped right out of your personal wet dream, someone you’re definitely going to dream about again in the future.
the music for his routine starts, a filthy beat that echoes deep in your bones. satoru begins to move, swaying his hips to the rhythm as he walks toward the audience, touching himself all over. feeling himself slowly, sensually. his hands run down his neck, fingers sprayed out as they drift down to his chest and stomach before finally stopping at his crotch.
he’s confident, smile so fucking cocky but undeniably hot at the same time. he knows he’s good. he’s got the audience right where he wants them as soon as he stepped out. there are dozens of people watching, but it feels like he’s looking straight at you when he swipes his tongue across his lips, biting down on the bottom lip suggestively.
and—oh. oh god. you squeeze your legs together, arousal shooting straight to your pussy. it’s getting increasingly uncomfortable to sit there, heat rushing south, as you anticipate what’s coming next.
but you can’t look away, either. satoru is now spreading his legs farther apart, thrusting his hips into nothing, but it’s somehow absolutely mesmerizing. he works his body with experience, in smooth rolls that show off all his muscles as they flex and contract. one hand runs through his hair while he looks out at the crowd with darkened eyes, and the other cups between his legs, teasing both himself and the viewers.
it riles up the audience, riles you up, because when satoru finally removes that hand, it becomes obvious that he’s at least half hard.
he walks over to the pole in the middle of the stage and hooks a leg around it, pressing his erection against the metal to grind against it a few times, seemingly getting himself off. his eyes are hooded, lips parted. it’s a display of rehearsed seduction and it fucking works because you’re fully captivated, eyes fixated solely on him.
eventually, satoru spins and turns around so that his back is against the pole. he sinks down in one fluid movement, knees spreading wide, leaning forward so that his back is arched as he raises his ass higher. every action he makes draws attention, the arousal tangible and thick in the air. when he shakes his hips, you can’t help but feel wetness gushing out of your pussy, wishing you were there in the place of the pole. wishing you could feel those sinful, gyrating hips touching you instead.
as the dance continues, you don’t know how much time passes. it could be only a few minutes or hours that you sit there, and all you’re capable of doing in the moment is follow satoru’s every movement, engraining the scene in front of you into your mind forever.
turning back around, satoru winks in your direction—you can’t be sure if it’s at you or someone beside you—but your body stills anyway, pussy aching with desire. you watch as satoru makes one final spin around the pole, slow enough to show off all angles of himself, before he drops to the ground again, hips thrusting out.
the routine ends with satoru basking in the cheers of the audience and you breathing heavily in your seat, so fucking turned on.
.
normally, this is when you would leave, but you still haven’t recovered from that performance, so you sit there a while longer. hoping that you’ll come back to your senses soon.
the music changes and other dancers fill the stage, but you’re not paying attention to any of that anymore. you gaze follows satoru as he disappears behind the left wing and reappears descending down the steps that lead to the main floor, where a group of his fans wait to greet him. they chat for a while and then satoru turns his head and somehow, through the crowd of people between the two of you, locks eyes directly with you.
satoru says a farewell to the group, something that has them squealing, and makes his way across the room, walking with purpose in your direction. not a second later, you find him right in front of you, the sudden proximity enough to make your whole body heat up.
glancing down at you, satoru says, “hey there, pretty girl.”
“um,” you reply intelligently. you blink and take a look around to make sure that he’s actually talking to you. “hi.”
running a hand down his chest, satoru sways his body lightly to the music and somehow manages to make it look natural. “did you enjoy the show?”
you nod, mouth suddenly dry. you’re still processing the fact that satoru is here, so close, talking to you. flirting and clearly interested in you, for whatever reason. it’s unexpected, but you’re definitely not complaining. “yeah, it was—good. you’re good.”
“just good?”
“no, i mean—” you pause, then blurt out, “you’re hot.”
a slow smile stretches across satoru’s face at that, and he takes a step forward, inviting himself onto your lap. his hips are lifted just enough that he’s not actually in contact, body making slow, lazy rolls. teasing. “what’s your name?”
you tell him, stammering, pulse beating a mile per minute. he’s so fucking close to you. he’s so sexy that you can hardly form a coherent sentence. choking back a moan, your hands grip the edge of your seat to refrain from doing something that you’ll regret later.
a series of increasingly filthy thoughts run through your head and in that moment, all you can think about is how you want to rip off satoru’s clothes, what he would look like fully naked. how it would feel to hold his cock, the weight of it in your hands. his cock sliding and grinding against your pussy—
fuck. you have to turn away and remind yourself to chill the hell out. to not fall so easily for the charms of the dancer whose job is to make you get worked up like this. but, well, there’s no denying that satoru is good at everything he does. and he’s hot, like you said. he looks even better up close than he did on stage. so when you feel a warm hand on your jaw, guiding your face back to the front, how could you ever resist?
“baby,” satoru says, lowering himself so that he’s properly seated on your lap now. in this position, you can feel his hard-on against your pussy, the bulge of his pants pressed right between your legs. you swallow thickly. “i’m going to get jealous if you keep turning away. look at me.”
your breath catches in your throat. it’s like satoru has you locked in a trance, the rest of the world disappearing around you because nothing else matters. you have nowhere left to look but at him, at the way sweat rolls down his abs, strong thighs caged around your legs.
“yeah, that’s it.” satoru moves his hips just slightly, but it’s enough to make you really feel him against your own body. jesus christ. “focus on me and how good i can make you feel.”
it’s not fully grinding, because he’s still teasing you more than anything, but the only thing separating the two of you is your own pants and the very thin fabric that satoru is wearing. if it weren’t for those, you would actually be fucking. the mere thought of it has you letting out an involuntary moan.
at the sound, satoru perks up and smirks, eyes darkening. he works his hips harder, applying more pressure, and your brain effectively short circuits. “mm, you’re wet, aren’t you? i bet your panties are soaked for me. so fucking turned on already. such a good girl.”
oh, you know. you don’t need satoru to tell you how far gone you are now, how your pussy is aching and throbbing within the confines of your pants. you’re almost embarrassed by the growing feeling of lust coursing through you, the want and desire you feel toward him. this is quite possibly the horniest you’ve ever been in your life, and you’re losing all sense of rationality embarrassingly fast.
“y-you—” you start before you have to stop because satoru lines up his cock directly with your pussy and ruts against you filthily, calculated. it makes you gasp, bucking up on instinct when he retreats. and fuck, you’re panting now, having been given a taste of the kind of pleasure satoru can provide you, and it only makes you want more.
“go on,” he encourages, far too amused. “what were you saying?”
eventually, with visible effort, you manage to choke out, “you’re—ah—you’re hard, too.”
“i am. all because of you, baby,” satoru says suggestively and impossibly inviting. his mouth moves to your ear to whisper, “how about we go somewhere quieter? just the two of us?”
a shudder runs down your spine, arousal swirling in the pit of your stomach. and you can tell exactly what he’s implying, knows that you should probably be a bit more cautious in these situations, but it’s hard to think logically when someone like satoru is this close to you. giving you an offer that you could never turn down. you don’t even realize that you’re nodding rather eagerly until you’re being pulled up from your seat, that enticing grin back on satoru’s face as he leads you away from the main stage.
.
the two of you go into a private room that’s small but well-furnished. the lighting is dim and seems to cast a spotlight on the sofa in the center of the room. music is still present here, but not as loud. unlike the main stage, you have no problem hearing satoru when he gives his next instructions.
“make yourself comfortable,” he tells you, and you go over to sit on the couch.
you can’t believe this is happening. there’s arousal thrumming inside you, veins running hot with the anticipation of what’s to come.
in front of you, satoru unclips his suspenders and tosses them aside. they didn’t hide much to begin with, but even still, you take the opportunity to drink in the sight of his fully naked chest. and god, does he have a nice body—strong arms, well-toned abs, hardened nipples. seriously the whole package in one insanely attractive person.
satoru walks closer toward you and doesn’t waste any time, sinking down to his knees in front of the couch. he pushes your legs apart and runs his hands up your trembling thighs.
“need some help with this?” he nods between your legs, the hint of a smirk dancing on his lips. a hand passes over your clothed pussy, lightly grazing against it, and the groan that escapes you is awful.
“please,” you breathe out. you hate that you sound so wrecked already.
it makes satoru grin as he leans forward, rising higher. “don’t worry, i’ll make you feel good. but there’s just one little rule that you have to keep in mind…” he trails off, pausing for suspense. his hands slip under your shirt, traveling up to squeeze your breasts outside your bra. at the same time, he whispers into your ear, “no touching.”
you gasp, arching forward. your mind goes blank for a second. fingers twitching, you have to physically stop yourself from reaching out, already coming close to breaking the only rule you’ve been given. arousal rushes through you at once, and you wonder, not for the first time, how it’s possible for satoru to know exactly what turns you on.
“fuck, s-satoru—”
“mm,” he hums, satisfied. “you look good like that. so fucking desperate for me.”
then he gets up, throws one leg on either side of you, effectively straddling you, and sits on your lap. he rocks his hips gently back and forth a few times before wrapping his arms around your neck. satoru is looking at you with hooded eyes, with pure lust and desire, and the intensity of his stare makes you feel wanted like you never have before.
jesus christ, you curse mentally. this is seduction perfected to an artform. there’s a beautiful, naked man giving you a lap dance and this has only just started but you’re already dripping in your pants.
you’re not prepared for when satoru brings your faces close, just mere centimeters apart. it knocks the breath out of you, heart beating wildly in your chest. satoru’s mouth is parted, your lips brushing, almost kissing but not quite. all it would take is for you to lift your head, chasing after him, giving in to the ever-growing desire to taste him. but his words from earlier echo as a warning in your mind: no touching.
“did you think you could break me that easily?” you ask, feigning composure. except it’s obvious just how affected you are by everything. you’re sure that satoru can feel your pussy throbbing helplessly in your pants now that you’re this close to each other.
“yes,” satoru says, confident. and you don’t even care that you’re being played so easily; your traitorous mind only thinks of pressing those smirking lips against your own. “i think i could. looks like i almost got you there, anyway.”
he ghosts his lips down your neck, almost kissing, almost tender, but never actually making contact. his warm breath follows, trailing down to your collarbones. and you want him, you want him so badly. you’ve never wanted a man more than you want satoru now, but you’re not allowed to do anything. it’s so fucking cruel.
in your seat, you shudder. your body reacts to his every action, and you’re sure that it’s only encouraging him. “f-fuck, no fair.”
“that’s right, baby,” satoru murmurs. “i could make you forget everything but me… where you are, how to think, the one rule you’re supposed to follow…”
swallowing hard, you have to grip your hands on the couch, knuckles turning white, to stop yourself from reaching out. you know that all of this will be over if you touch him, but it’s so, so tempting.
the worst part is that the rule doesn’t apply both ways. you’re not allowed to touch, but satoru can. and he takes full advantage of it, hands roaming all over like he’s starved for contact, under your shirt and up to your chest, snaking behind to unclip your bra. you gasp when you feel his bare hand groping your breasts, holding the weight of them in his palms, massaging them, playing with your nipples. he flicks at the sensitive nubs. his thumbs circle around them, pinching them with just the right amount of pressure between two fingers.
he does this until he draws out a low, guttural moan from you. the cocky grin is back on his face, and you hate that you’re playing right into his hands, but you can’t help it. he’s fucking good at what he does.
soon, he abandons your breasts, sliding his hands back down your sides to trace smooth circles on your inner thighs. he grazes over your pussy countless times but never applies any pressure, never fully gives you what you want. it’s not enough, and you can’t stop yourself from bucking your hips up to meet him.
and then—fuck, you think you’re going to lose your mind. satoru unzips your pants and pushes it down just far enough for the dampness of your panties to be exposed. you can’t even deny it: you’re so wet, so turned on. he runs a single finger over your panties, feeling your arousal, and you moan brokenly, thinking about having those long fingers inside you.
throughout all this, you wonder how you must look, so desperate and struggling to hold yourself back. you’re panting, chest heaving, entire body burning on fire. when satoru pulls away to get a better look at you, a charge of tension passes between you, so thick it’s almost suffocating.
“naughty girl,” he murmurs, still rubbing you over your panties. never giving you a chance to breathe. “you must be aching for it.”
you moan again and feel yourself getting even wetter, soaking the material further. “m-more, satoru, please—”
you’re not even sure what it is that you’re asking for, but satoru only grins before removing himself from your lap. a whimper escapes you and you almost beg him to stay, until you realize what it is that he’s doing.
a private show, just like the one he gave on stage earlier, but much more intimate and filthy. satoru doesn’t hold anything back, moving to the beat echoing in the background, performing body rolls one after another. and now that he’s standing in front of you, showing off his body, it’s obvious that he’s fully hard. there’s an impressive bulge between his legs, making his already tight underwear seem even tighter. the material stretches to accommodate his length, to the point where it looks like it could break at any moment.
your eyes follow his every move, every shift of his muscles, holding your breath and physically unable to look away. because satoru is thrusting his hips like he’s—like he’s actually fucking someone right then and there, letting out increasingly suggestive sounds, grunts and moans that will haunt you at night. and you so badly want to spread your legs and have him thrust into you instead.
and then—oh god. satoru hooks his fingers onto the waistband of his underwear, a thin strap that wraps around his pelvis, and begins to pull it down but pauses just as it’s about to slip over his cock. he’s watching you closely, eyes flickering back and forth between your face and your dripping pussy. and you know how eager you must seem, shamefully excited to see what the thin fabric conceals.
but satoru only smiles wickedly and removes his hands entirely, spinning away to the beat of the music. he twists and turns, goes back to thrusting his hips tantalizingly in the air. he runs his hands down his chest, then dips into his underwear again.
“i’m not supposed to take this off, you know,” satoru says, teasing it lower and lower. “but for you, i want to. i really want to.”
you swallow. “w-well—”
the waistband sinks lower, revealing more of his smooth skin. “you’d like that too, wouldn’t you?”
there’s no way you could lie in a situation like this, so you give up all sense of dignity and say, “fuck yes, yes, i—”
your pussy agrees vehemently, throbbing between your legs. you have to choke back a moan when you see the fabric catching and releasing at the head of satoru’s cock, the very tip of it poking out into view.
“i’m sure you do,” satoru hums.
he pulls it back up, playing innocently with the strap, and you swear you could die from the anticipation alone. this has to be the best strip tease you’ve ever gotten by far, but also the most frustrating. you’ve never wanted to rip the clothes off someone so fucking badly before.
but satoru isn’t done yet. he turns around so that his back is facing you and bends over before pulling his underwear all the way down in one go, revealing what little had been hidden by the satin, his ass on full display. then, all too quickly, it’s back up again and this time you do let out an unfiltered groan.
fuck, satoru is beyond skilled at getting you riled up, making your pussy so damn wet with arousal. and he knows it too. when he turns back to face you, the smile on his face is absolutely cruel and he starts to sway his hips again, in that hypnotic way that makes you want to beg him to fuck you already.
“shit, just—” you can’t help but let out a desperate whine. “take it off. please.”
satoru grins like he’s got you right where he wants you and winks. “since you asked so nicely.”
he finally begins to remove his underwear completely���except he goes slow, painfully and torturously slow, revealing one inch of his cock at a time. you’re on the edge of your seat. it feels like an eternity before the whole thing comes off and satoru steps out of it, tossing the last of his clothing somewhere to the side.
for a while, you can only stare. you’re entranced by the way his cock curves up to his abdomen, bobbing in the air, flushed and hard and demanding attention. you’re embarrassingly obvious in the way your eyes are fixated on it, wanting to trace the prominent vein on the underside. wanting to touch and taste it.
that’s when you notice—satoru isn’t just hard; he’s wet, too. beads of precum roll down his shaft, proof that all of this is turning him on as well, that it’s not only for show. a hand wraps around the cock, stroking a few times, and it takes a second for you to realize that he’s jerking himself off right in front of you. holy shit.
“well, what do you think?” satoru asks, twisting his hand and moaning. the tip of his cock is flushed red, now leaking more than before. “was it worth the wait?”
you nod, not trusting yourself to speak, and the noise that escapes you is not human. but it’s very, very appreciative. you feel your pussy pulsing hard between your legs, wanting so badly for satoru to touch you like how he’s touching himself.
what you don’t expect next is for him to let go entirely and drop down to the floor. smirking, he looks up at you from that position, at the growing wetness where your pussy is hidden behind your panties, and licks his lips. then, on all fours, satoru starts to crawl toward you with evident desire on his face until he’s kneeling right in front of you once again.
heart hammering away in your chest, you swallow thickly as a fresh wave of arousal washes over you. satoru runs his hands up your thighs, rising so that he’s sitting on your lap again, but still not quite close enough for your hips to touch.
he leans forward to lick your ear and you immediately shudder. in a low, seductive voice, he whispers, “i guess you can resist the temptation, after all; you haven’t touched me even once. good girl. do you see how fucking hard i am for you?”
the praise makes your head spin, and you let out a shaky breath, groaning. “s-satoru…”
“want to feel my cock on your pussy?”
that makes your pussy throb, very much into the offer. “fuck, please.”
so, satoru moves closer until you’re touching, his naked cock against your clothed pussy. your bodies pressed together. and then satoru rubs his cockhead up and down your pussy, sliding between your thighs, moving his hips in circular motions, grinding into you like he’s determined to take you apart. throughout it all, he’s watching you with an intensity that has your whole body burning under his gaze.
“does this feel good?” his breath is warm on your neck. “tell me.”
“a-ah—” the next time he fucks against you, you gasp, squirming in your seat. it takes everything you have to not buck up into the delicious friction and shamelessly rut against satoru until you come. “y-yeah, yeah, don’t stop.”
time seems to stretch indefinitely, and satoru takes his sweet time making slow, sensual rolls of his hips, unraveling you little by little. meanwhile, you’re trembling in place, whining and whimpering, pussy aching for release. it’s driving you fucking crazy, mind swimming with pleasure. you know that you’re probably not going to last much longer like this, and it feels like he’s been teasing you for hours.
satoru is getting off on this too, just as vocal, each thrust growing more and more frantic. his cock leaks onto you. and when he starts talking again, whispering directly into your ear, you lose all semblance of control and feel the arousal building inside you, threatening to tip you over the edge.
“you know,” satoru starts, punctuating his words with a filthy grind that has you moaning, “you caught my eye when i was on stage. i saw you watching me, so turned on… practically fucking me with your eyes. did you think you were being subtle, pretty girl?” he chuckles at your embarrassment. “i could tell that you wanted me. that you were—hah—lusting after my body. and i knew i had to have you all to myself.”
“f-fuck,” you moan, head falling back. you replay the memories of satoru dancing on stage in your head, how he had commanded the whole room, drawing everyone’s attention to the way he worked his body. the body that’s currently on top of you, straddling you and bringing you right to the edge without mercy.
“mm, and i could tell that you tried to resist it at first. but i love breaking down girls like you. i love the challenge. and look at you now, baby.” satoru slides one hand up your shirt to latch onto your nipple again, and the other hand to circle your clit through your panties. the combined stimulation makes you cry out, driving you to the brink of madness. “so wrecked for me. you want it so fucking bad, don’t you?”
the moan that escapes you is loud and needy and you’re basically begging at this point. you sneak a glance down at where you two connect, the sight satoru’s cock on your pussy so fucking lewd, and you think you’re going to come at any second now. “ngh—satoru—s-satoru—you’re gonna make me—”
“yeah,” satoru breathes out, voice raspy. he picks up the pace, rocking into you much harder than before. “yeah, bet you want me to put my cock in that tight little pussy of yours, huh? f-feel me throbbing inside you while i fuck you—hah—fuck you so hard and deep—”
“oh, my god,” you curse, panting under him. you’re a shaking mess, and you can’t stop yourself anymore; your hips rise to join satoru’s, meeting his every thrust. you can feel it; you’re right there, right there. your orgasm is hovering just on the periphery. “a-ah, fuck—i’m—i’m gonna—”
satoru hums in acknowledgement. he shifts his position a little, lifting a leg up to get a better angle, and continues grinding on you, daring you to let go. at the same time, his hand circles your clit even faster, sending tingles all throughout your body. “just like that, baby. imagine how good it would feel to have me thrusting inside you.”
pleasure rushes through you so fast it makes you dizzy. your pussy is pulsing and throbbing, so fucking wet that your panties are completely soiled by now, beyond saving. and you can’t hold back anymore, you’re going to come; you’re going to come right here in front of satoru, shamelessly, and you want it, you want it so bad—
“fuck, fuck, i can’t—w-wait, stop, i’m really—o-oh, i’m close—”
“wanna see you come for me,” satoru encourages, grinding even more deliberately against you, bringing you closer and closer to your climax with each calculated roll of his hips. “you’ll let me come too, right? be a g-good girl now, and let me come all over your panties.”
“god, yes, give it to me,” you moan, so incredibly turned on by the idea of satoru spilling on your panties, right over your throbbing pussy. it’s so fucking hot. your body is moving on instinct, and all you can think about is chasing after your release. “hah—hah—s-satoru—” you pant, shaking and writhing. “i can’t—can’t hold—ngh—gonna—"
and satoru’s mouth is right by your ear again when he says, “that’s it, baby. show me what that pretty face of yours looks like when you come.”
holy shit—hearing that, you don’t think you could hold back any longer even if you wanted to. with a strangled cry, you throw your head back on the couch, hips bucking up wildly and back arching into satoru. your thighs are trembling when you come, pussy pulsing, pulsing, pulsing and making a sticky mess of yourself. it’s all overwhelming and your chest heaves, only vaguely aware that satoru is coming, too.
he fucks you through your orgasm and his cock throbs hard before he’s moaning your name, hips stuttering and shooting out his release is spurts. his come splatters all over you, just like he said, white and thick and filthy on your stomach and panties. landing right over your clit, over your pussy. you moan again, sounding broken, fucked out. it’s a waste—you’d rather have his come inside you—but the erotic sight of it makes up for that.
satoru’s cock is still twitching, even a few seconds after you’ve both caught your breaths. he hovers over you, that perfect body—strong thighs and hard abs and those striking blue eyes, the intense look he gives you that makes him irresistible. god, you weren’t supposed to be this easy to seduce.
slowly, you inhale and reorient yourself, feeling the aftermath of your orgasm subsiding. your mind is still a bit hazy. when you meet satoru’s gaze, all you can say is, “fuck.”
“that good?” satoru asks, always so damn smug and full of himself. he runs a hand through his hair, smirking. “don’t miss my cock too much when i'm gone. next time, i just might consider fucking your pussy for real and giving you a taste of true pleasure.”
his fingers find your panties again, your swollen pussy, and rubs the area. you gasp, hips jerking. so sensitive, especially after your orgasm. and satoru knows, of course he knows; he did it on purpose. he loves being able to get a reaction out of you, controlling your body with a single touch.
you try to glare at him, but it’s weak. it hardly means anything after he gave you one of the best orgasms of your life, making you come so hard without even putting his cock in you. without even touching your pussy directly. it’s the kind of orgasm that you’ll replay in your mind when you’re alone at night and feeling pent up and horny, picturing him in your mind as you get yourself off.
next time. well, you think. you definitely hadn’t been planning to come back to the strip club after today, but now you suppose that it can’t hurt to make another visit if satoru is going to be there.
.
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#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk men#jjk smut#jjk imagine#gojo satoru#gojo smut#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#naughtyjjk
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new girl
kika nazareth x reader
summary: you never wanted to be vulnerable until she came along
trope: grumpy (reader) x sunshine (kika)
on the pitch, you were ruthless.
you were never afraid to accept a challenge, or do a tackle. the rock-hard mentality of yours never wavered.
you were given the captain role at an early age for your childhood club team-- accepting huge responsibility and holding others accountable for their faults was something you weren't scared of doing.
when barcelona offered you a contract to play for the B-team at 15, you accepted it. you were a ruthless defender and having you means that an oppositions striker wouldn't have a chance to score on you.
now at 21, you've grown into a reliable, if somewhat grumpy, presence on the senior team. however, you were the best defender in the world.
your serious demeanor on and off the field is well-known, and while you're never outright mean-- with your actions showing your teammates that you have a high level of respect for them-- your reserved nature keeps you at a tiny distance from them.
its the 24/25 season and the coach assigns you, patri, and keira to show the new girls around the place.
keira chose to help ellie around, patri chose to be with ewa, so you were chosen to be with kika nazareth-- a forward coming from benfica.
after showing her around the pitch, the media rooms, where the lounge area was-- you ended up in the locker rooms with her.
"so here is our last stop! this is the locker room-- your locker will be next to mine," you say, pointing to the empty space beside the locker where your blue cleats sat.
"thank you! i'm so excited to be here and get started." kika beams, her enthusiasm almost tangible.
"welcome to the team. if you need anything, just ask me or any of the captains." you nod, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.
over the next few weeks, kika's sunshine personality shines even brighter.
she greets everyone each morning with a smile, always has a positive word, and is the first to offer help or encouragement.
you find yourself drawn to kika's warmth, wanting to keep yourself around the fellow 21 year old-- even if you don't fully understand why.
in training, you started to notice how kika gravitated towards you, asking for advice or just chatting.
initially, you respond with your usual reserved tone. you wanted to stay focused on the training so you were on top of your game for there next match-- but kika's persistence starts to break down your walls.
in the locker rooms one day, you were finished chatting to ingrid and mapi about their future plans. they were talking about going to visit Ingrids family in norway during a week-long break, which you said that it would be good for them.
kika noticed that you were finished with your conversation with the couple, so she placed her hand on your shoulder to grab your attention before anyone else could.
"y/n, are you doing anything after this?" kika asked.
you looked at her with a light smile before turning away to put your cleats in the locker, "no, why?"
"do you want to go grab a coffee?" kika asks, a little hesitant that you might reject her offer.
"sure, I guess. coffee sounds good." you say before standing up and headed towards the doors.
kika watched you with knitted eyes before you turned around at the door, "are you coming?" you smirked.
"oh- yes!" kika jumped up and followed you out the doors.
your post-practice coffee runs with kika become a routine.
kika starts to talk about her family, her dreams, and her love for the game right away-- while you listen.
after a few weeks, you start to slowly open up about your own experiences. the way that kika kept her full attention on you while you spoke was something that you silently appreciated.
"you know, I've been admiring how dedicated you are to the team. I used to see it from another teams perspective and go, "damn she's tough." but now I realize how much you love and care for us." kika says one evening.
your eyes twinkle at this. if you had to pinpoint it, maybe this was the moment where you started to fall for the portuguese. nobody has made an effort to compliment you in such an unique way.
"thank you, kika. you've been pretty amazing since you've gotten here. you are breath of fresh air that we've needed." you smile.
giving out verbal compliments weren't your thing, and kika seemed to notice that. you liked to express your liking for people through physical actions and gift giving. the portuguese's heart fluttered knowing that you're opening yours up for her.
another month goes by and its the beginning of 2025. the team begins to notice the change in you. you still maintain your serious persona, but with kika, you seem different—softer, happier.
the way you smile at kika, the way your eyes light up when kika enters the room, it becomes clear to everyone that there's something special between you two.
they're aware that they'll have to bring it up to you sometime, just to get clarification on your relationship with the girl, but they're content with observing for a bit.
during a particularly tough champions league match against PSG, you were frustrated.
after VAR cancelled a goal you scored due to a foul, and barcelona nearly conceding a goal thanks to an error from you-- you just wanted something good to happen for your team.
the score is 2-2, with the aggregate being 3-2 in favor of barcelona. you needed to make sure that psg didn't score, and you needed to create a chance for one of your forwards to score as well.
at the 60th minute, kika is subbed in for salma.
not even three minutes later, kika makes an impact.
aitana passed the ball back to you and you found kika up-top and on-side ready to receive a pass.
you shot the ball towards her and kika headed the ball behind the net, scoring the winning goal.
the team celebrates, but it's you who sprints to her first, lifting her up in a rare display of open joy.
"kika!!!" you screamed in joy as she holds you.
"what a great assist." kika says, focusing on you as the rest of the team joins for a group hug.
"don't give me all of the credit, you made a great header. ugh what a star!" you say.
the rest of the team is smiling in joy seeing the two of you. they're aware that your bond, emotionally, is passed the platonic stage-- but its a sight to see you so radiant and optimistic.
a week later, you invited kika over to your apartment. this is new, considering you never invited any of the barcelona girls over unless there was an event you were throwing.
kika and you were going to bake a few things while watching a new netflix show season that was released.
little did you know, kika was going to ask you something important.
"y/n, can I ask you something?" kika says, sitting down on your soft couch beside you.
you turn your head towards her, giving her a light smile as your eyes twinkled with a tiny bit of fear.
"of course, kika. what's on your mind?" you respond.
"do you ever think about... us? I mean, us being more than just friends?" she says, clenching her teeth together as she is nervous about a possible rejection.
"I do, actually. I've been every-night since the beginning of the season. kika, you're the first person who’s made me feel... alive in a long time." you look at her, the vulnerability in kika's eyes mirroring your own feelings.
kika reaches out, taking your hand in hers. "i feel the same way. you make me feel safe and loved."
"well, would me being your girlfriend make you feel more loved?" you squeeze her hand, a smile spreading across your face as you pull her body towards yours.
"yes it would, can I be your girlfriend?" kika smiles as her head rests inside of your neck.
its not the first time you've cuddled with kika like this, but it feels special now that she is your girlfriend.
"yes my love." you kiss the top of her head softly.
as a year goes by being with your girlfriend, you find yourself opening up more, your grumpiness tempered by kika's unwavering positivity.
kika, in turn, finds strength in your steady and strong presence, knowing she always has someone to lean on.
your teammates, patri claudia and cata in particular, often joke about how kika is the only one who can make you smile so effortlessly--but it's clear to everyone that your love has made you both better, on and off the field.
my master list is here if you want to read more fics <3
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it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?
first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.
one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.
this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.
oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.
basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.
but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!
at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.
just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.
#when i say i love helping people beat their fears about t this is what i mean. i will simply write a whole essay about it#some people might think it’s silly to answer a question like this so extensively#but i don’t think it is! i feel like this is a really common fear but also one i don’t see talked about much#maybe because it’s so common among cis guys that people don’t see it as a question to ask in trans spaces? idk#but i think we should talk about it more. especially when transphobes use it as a way to talk shit about t#ask answered#testosterone#hrt#ftm hrt#hair loss#trans men#transmascs
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A muted shade of green ✧ Chapter 2: He's not yours to keep
genre: more angst than fluff, but I swear fluff is coming up next!
word count: 5562
pairing: reader x spencer reid
description: you are trying to make sense of all this mess, but it's time to learn that, sometimes, things are just messy and chaotic and you have to learn to look for the silver linings.
a muted shade of green masterlist
previous chapter // next chapter
author's note: I am absolutely over the moon with the response I've gotten on this series and I'm really thankful for all the love and support <3 if you want to join the taglist for this series, please let me know in the comments!
You don’t usually dream.
Well, actually, if you tell Spencer that, he will say that you’re wrong– you do dream, you just don’t remember it. It’s common, not really recalling the scenes your brain conjure, Spencer would say; it can be due to a series of factors including high levels of stress and poor sleep. He would then tell you to stay home for a day, read a good book, and drink one of his fancy teas Penelope got for him a long time ago.
But the thing is, Spencer can’t really tell you any of it.
Not when you seem to be avoiding him even inside his own home.
It starts after you wake up still in his armchair, feeling exhausted and disgustingly sticky, you finally have a couple of moments to yourself. Spencer is still sleeping, and you’re actually surprised to see him stretched out on the couch– his tie is throw on his coffee table, the purple colour suddenly too bright in the dim apartment, but otherwise, still wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday. You don’t understand why he didn’t change into pyjamas, but then again, you don’t understand much of anything right now.
So you go through the facts.
One by one, you list them in your mind– and little by little it dawns on you just how bad this really is. It’s hard, conceptualising that this is reality; that you really do have a psychopath targeting you. It’s the kind of thing that you only saw in those TV shows you loved to binge on late night, the kind of thing you read on the newspaper, happening to other people, but never really you. Except, it is happening to you, and you are not sure what to do next. Do you just sit and wait for her to make a move? Do you continue to live your life normally? How? How are you supposed to ignore the fact that a, as Agent Hotchner had described her, ‘prolific serial killer’ might know who are?
“Oh my god,” You whisper to yourself, head falling in your hands. The watch on your wrist, an old, analogue thing your mom had given you before you left New York, is pointing to a time you would never have been awake before. 5:23 in the morning. The sun is not even up yet and you have hours before you have to open the store, but then again, you have to clean the mess that was left behind due to your rushed departure from it. You wince, disgusted at the thought of having to clean old vomit from the floor, and disgusted with the bitter taste it left behind. Right now, you are a shell of a human being and you need to get yourself back together.
You follow a familiar routine of recovery. It’s something you’ve done before and something you will surely have to do again, and it all starts with a simple list.
Firstly, you need to get up. You need to stretch your legs, throw them to the side, and stand. You need to walk, remind your self that you can still make your own path even if it’s only to the bathroom down the hall.
Then, you need to brush your teeth. The bitter taste stuck to your mouth makes you wince with memories that you want to bury.
Showering would be your third step, but this is not your home. This is not your space, and these are not your things.
A pettier side of you, one that is bothered and angry and irritated in a superficial level, wants to march back out to the living room, as loudly as you can, and shake Spencer away. You want to wake him up at the crack of dawn and make him share your torment, because in some level, even if you try to push against it, you blame him. Deep inside, you know that there is a big difference between the two– between blaming him and it being his fault. One is purposeful, conscious; it’s a decision you take and lay on his head. If you blame him, you commit yourself to hate him. The latter, however, is a fact. It’s irrefutable and immutable as the fact that you need air to live. It is his fault, but it was not his goal.
“He didn’t mean it, but it’s still his fault,” You whisper to yourself, pushing yourself off the sink to try and figure out his shower. It is his house, that’s a fact. But you also deserve a nice, warm shower, and that is another fact. He pushed you to come stay with him, so you need to also push yourself to feel comfortable in this space that feels so foreign to your senses. “He didn’t mean it, but it’s still his fault.”
The words become your mantra. He didn’t mean it, but it’s still his fault. Somewhere in you, you know you have what it takes to forgive, but you just don’t have what it’s needed to forget. By repeating those words, you allow your brain to slowly process this situation as what it is– something that happened because of him, but not by him. As much as you want someone to blame, someone to scream at, Spencer Reid just isn’t that person.
It takes you a moment to realise you don’t really have a towel or any of your products here, and using Spencer’s shampoo just feels… odd. Like an invasion of his space almost. “Oh thank god for you, Spencer,” You sighed, happy to see the pairing of shampoo and conditioner sitting perfectly on the corner. His hair had been one of the first things you noticed about him, all chestnut and shaggy and longish, but you are aware that not every man knows the basic of self-care. There is something about the way his smell takes over the bathroom, floating with the evaporation of the warm water hitting your skin, makes you smile. You feel closer to Spencer than you’ve ever been, and that is when your sense of danger hits. Your heart starts speeding, and your breathing is suddenly really shallow, and you’re trying to come out of the shower, to breathe in cold air, but all you get is humid mist and you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe at all, you can’t–
“Spencer!” You gasp, eyes wide in desperation once your legs feel like they might just give out. Scrambling to hold yourself up, your hands knock over some things in the counter, making more noise on top of the running shower. “SPENCER!”
“What? What? What– oh my god,” The door slams against the wall and back, almost hitting him on the side when he crouched down next to your naked, curled up body. It’s quite unnatural for you to witness, him jumping into action so fast, like he is trained to make these decisions in a split second. But then you remember that he actually is trained to make these quick choices– like grabbing the towel before anything else, covering you without a single quip about your nakedness; like sitting you up and putting your back against the wall; like turning off the shower and sitting back down right next to you, breathing deeply and loudly. It’s unconscious, how you let your breathing fall in line with his, and it takes a moment to realise he’s doing this on purpose. “Y/N, are you okay?”
“No,” You whisper, shaking from either the cold or the nerves or both. There are goosebumps all over your legs, the towel not covering you much from the top of your thighs down. “Spencer, I’m not okay. I’m… Until yesterday, you were just the adorable guy who shared my love for books. Y-You’d come into the store smiling and we’d talk and talk and– and now I have a serial killer possibly tracking me. How am I supposed to be okay? I’m so scared… oh god, I’m so scared, Spencer…” The one thing you are proud, amidst your utter embarrassment, is that you are not crying anymore. You still sound a bit rough, throat tired and hurting, and there is no energy left in you and he can hear that, you know he can, because when your voice echoes in the silent bathroom, kicking from wall to wall, you hear it too– the exhaustion and the numbness and the emptiness left behind.
“I-I’m still that guy,” He stutters, head falling down in shame but voice still twinged with something resembling hope. “I love books. I love talking to you about books, I love going to your store first thing in the morning. I’m still this guy, I just… I just happen to work for the FBI.”
“Yeah, but I… I think that after having my life turned upside down because of a serial killer who has a crush on you, I’m just not that same girl.”
That is the last time you talk to him that day.
—————————————
Actually, that was the last time you talked to him that entire week.
After he dropped you at the store that day and you were forced to face the embarrassing remnants of your lowest moment in life, moping old vomit from the floor, that feeling of turmoil in your chest died down. It settled. And it hardened.
He tried making conversation on the walk back to his, but you’re clearly not up for it, so his voice slowed down, getting lower and lower, until it stopped altogether. This time, you shower before bed and make a beeline to the armchair again, letting Spencer’s begs and pleas for you to sleep on the bed fall in deft ears.
For five days, you two don’t talk.
It’s a dance of chaos, how you step around each other at the apartment, and seeing him biting his words back or catching a glimpse of the bags under his eyes makes you feel guilty; of course it does. But you know that you can’t help him right now. Even if you were to forgive him, to force your mercy onto the situation, it wouldn’t be genuine. It would give him a false sense of relief while you’d forever be uncomfortable next to him, and you don’t want that. You don’t want to feel on edge next to Spencer, you don’t want to feel nauseous and scared when you’re with him. You want to talk about books and coffee and favourite places to order take out from. Instead, all you get to do is talk about her.
It would be a lie to say you don’t feel slightly jealous with the way that his mind seems to be so wrapped around Cat Adams. The imposed talking ban is hard on you both, that much you know, but the more Spencer let it happen, the more he let it stretch out and continue, the more you feel like maybe he doesn’t care that much. Maybe what is hard for him is the awkward tension trapped in his own apartment, rather than the pain of seeing each other so close yet not being able to laugh like you used to. And you know– you know how ridiculous your thought are, how childish you’re acting, but you can’t really blame yourself for being so on edge lately, not when your emotions are so zip and zapping through your body like thunder and lightening.
There are exceptions, though. In this case three exceptions, three moments in a day in which he brakes the ban, and you, for once, allow yourself some weakness.
“Good morning,” Is moment one. He says that every day, when he blinks himself awake on the couch. Ever since you’ve been there, a total of six days now, Spencer has slept on the couch, right next to the armchair you’ve claimed as your own. For these, you meet his eyes and nod, as if saying same to you.
Breakfast is quiet. He makes coffee and you make eggs, because despite you being there under forced circumstances, you are not going to be ungrateful and so you pay him back by getting groceries and cooking most meals. Which leads you to exception number two– the moment when he drops you at the bookstore.
You two walk there at 8 and he’s gone by 8:07, giving you enough time to mumble a “Be safe,” and give him his lunch for the day. He tried telling you that you didn’t have to cook for him, but you don’t really listen. As pathetic as it seems, this is the one way you’ve found to keep what you two had before, alive.
The third exception is the one that truly breaks your heart, again and again. It’s when he gets home, and he looks exhausted, and his hands fidget with the files he holds close to his chest. You are the first thing he looks for, and you almost melt at the way his shoulders visibly relax when he spots you– always ready for bed, always in the armchair. He stopped trying to come get you at the bookstore at night once you’ve agreed to let the officers walk you home. The spare key he added to your keychain should hold a bigger meaning than it does, though it feels like it does hold a bigger weight. A means to an end, you tell yourself every time you unlock his front door. This is just a means to an end. “Thank you,” he will then say, before he even moves to the kitchen to see whatever it was on the plate you had made and set in the microwave for him. “And good night.” By then, you’re already semi-asleep and you don’t really say anything.
You never thought you would miss these forbidden exceptions when they’re gone.
You know that travel is a big part of Spencer’s job, but with all that is going on, you never really considered the fact that he might need to leave for a few days. At least not until he calls you, right before you lock the store. The irregularity of it all has you scrambling to pick it up. “Spencer?” You barely whisper, voice cracking in half as little by little, you freeze up. The sensation is like ice running through your veins, burning it’s way to your heart until it makes it stop. “Spencer? Are you okay?”
“I’m okay,” He quickly answers, voice rushed in a way that makes you relax. He always talks fast and you find it incredibly endearing, even during these times apart. “I’m okay, it’s okay. I’m calling because we got a case.”
“Uh, okay?”
“Y/N, that means they need us in Ohio. Today.” He seems almost hesitant to tell you he needs to leave the state.
And you are as hesitant to accept it. “Oh,” You mumble, suddenly needing to making sure the officer assigned to you is still outside and ready to go. “Okay. Do… Do you need clothes or something?”
Spencer’s chuckle almost makes it all okay. Almost. “No, thank you. I just– I want you to be comfortable, okay? Feel free to sleep in my bed and do anything you want to do, I don’t mind! Feel at home! Just… be comfortable.”
For a second you nod, forgetting he can’t see you right now. “Okay. Thank you.”
“And Y/N?”
“Yeah?” You started biting your nails when you were twelve and middle school was kicking your ass. To this day, right now, you still bite them when you’re nervous.
“It’s good hearing your voice.”
Going home and knowing he won’t be there is not as comforting as you thought it could be. The two of you are not speaking and the constant walking on egg shells does get tiring, so you try to rationalise this as something that is just not that bad. Maybe Spencer going on his mysterious trips is not that bad anymore. Before, your curiosity was your downfall– you worried he had gotten sick or worse. However, you don’t think knowing the truth is much better. The nature of his job is incredibly dangerous, and you don’t even know much about it. Now, you still worry, that much hasn’t changed. What has changed, though, is that getting sick would be considered lucky. Right now, you worried about the ‘or worse’.
Your mom’s voice fills the empty space for a while. She texted you a couple of days ago and you just now got around to calling. “Sweetheart, how do we switch to video again? I want to see your face.” Alarm bells sound off in your mind and you immediately shut down the idea. “Sorry mom, I can’t right now. I’ll video call you tomorrow, okay? I’m cooking dinner right now.” Her worry is that of a mother, comforting like a blanket and familiar like a home. It is not, though, the worry you want.
For obvious reasons, you don’t tell her what’s going on, much rather preferring to tell her about the mundane things that keep you going. “And I sold out of the book!” You say, a short-lived excitement running through you. “It’s quite exciting, mom– since I opened the shop I have never sold out of anything! This is a first!”
“That’s amazing, sweetie!” She says, and you can’t help but wonder how Spencer would’ve reacted to the news if he was there. It’s only then that you realise you’re halfway through making him a plate for when he comes home, except he won’t be back until the case is complete and you gulp, too aware of the common noises you hear around you.
This is when you realise how much you miss you Spencer. And how much, even if unconsciously, he makes you feel comfortable and safe. You thought it was the apartment, but now, by yourself, laying on the armchair yet again, you feel vulnerable and exposed. Footsteps can be heard from time to time, neighbours getting home or leaving for the night, and every time, without a fault, you hold your breath and wait. Maybe the door will open and she will be there, or maybe it will be another delivery. God, it could be anything– a letter, flowers, another box. Knowing that Cat Adams had such easy access to Spencer’s apartment is enough to get you up and running to his room.
Green. The walls are green, muted and cozy, and you smile even when your eyes sting with tears. There is a hole in your heart right now and it’s Spencer shaped. “God,” You groan, rubbing your tears clean so aggressively that it hurts. “When did things get so fucked up?”
There’s no real answer to that, and you if you think any longer about this, your brain might just implode. For now, all you need is to sleep, but that won’t happen for a while; not with the way your heart speeds up at every crackle coming from his old, metal heather. Still, the chill air of Autumn seeps in through the walls, and you shiver. I want you to be comfortable, Spencer had said before leaving, and you might be crossing some boundaries right now, but you need him close to feel comfortable. You might not be able to get him, but the next best thing you have right now is one of his sweaters, and you have no qualms about opening his wardrobe and grabbing the first thing you find. Ironically enough, it’s an FBI Academy hoodie, though you can’t really imagine Spencer and all his formal glory in a hoodie. You put it on, nonetheless, shutting the door with your foot and just as you turn around, your eyes catch sight of something. Something big, and beige, and bone chilling.
The box.
In the heat of the moment, you simply thought he had throw it away. Hell, it would’ve made sense to throw it away! What the fuck was that box doing there…? With a shaky breath, you open the wardrobe door again, hoping, praying, that you were actually hallucinating and that what you saw was nothing but a shoe box or a bag. “God, please, be a bag, be a bag…” Safe to say, your words are in vain. “Fuck, Spencer, what is wrong with you?”
You’re shaking when you pull the box out of its hiding place, breathing shallow and fast. Reason escapes you as you quickly open it, not worried about how it was or even about putting it back in place; if it was up to you, this box would’ve been gone a long time ago. Clearly, it had not been up to you. “Oh my god, I’m going to be sick.”
Expectations are a tricky thing to deal with. When it comes to your life, you never expected anything big. You know your limitation better than anyone and the largest you’ve dreamt before was the store. You didn’t expect an FBI agent. You didn’t expect a serial killer. And you certainly didn’t expect a box full of sex toys. “What the…” You don’t want to touch them, not with your bare hands, but it looks like there are tens of toys in there, varying in shapes and sizes and colours. It makes you wonder… last he told you, her games are psychological and manipulative. From what you are seeing, though, this is incredibly physical. This is about touch and intimacy and… fuck. This is about connection. You don’t have to be a profiler to know that, not when you are so secretive about your own toys, hidden in the back of your besides drawer away from unwanted eyes. It’s a private thing, and only people you trusted, people you let into your life, knew about them.
Before you know what you’re doing, you rush to find your phone. It’s somewhere in the house, and you need to find it, you need to call him. “Pick up,” You whisper when you finally find it in the living room, under your favourite blanket on the chair. Even your fingers are shaking, vision a bit blurred from the adrenaline rushing through you– you feel like you’re in danger, and you don’t know what to do. “Spence, pick up, pick up, please pick up–“
“Hello?” You almost cry when you hear his raspy voice on the other side. It doesn’t make you feel any better to think that you might just have woken him up.
“Spencer,” You whine, embarrass with how needy you sound. The nice officer that brought you home is standing outside the door, and you could’ve gone to him– could’ve opened the door, asked him to stay inside, talk to him a little. Or you could’ve called Penelope. She had given you her number with promises that more often then not, she stayed behind to work from the BAU office. There is no place safer than my office, she had promised you, but how do you tell her that the problem is not your environment, it’s not where you are or what you’re doing… how do you tell her that the problem is you? She might not understand it so you don’t even dare try to explain it. You don’t dare to give her and the team this part of yourself too and you shut your mouth with a firm hand over your lips.
Memories of a life you left behind flash behind your eyes, and you whimper, hugging your knees to your chest while you hear him desperately calling for you. As far as you can, you kick that godforsaken box away from you. “Y/N?! Y/N, say something, please! Are you okay? Y/N!”
“I’m here,” You whisper, pushing your hair away from your face. “I’m here.’
“What’s going on?”
“Spencer, I–” A moment of regret and hesitation makes you pause. What can he even do all the way from Ohio? “I want to go home.”
You’re not his priority.
You’ll never be his priority.
There is no point to this.
“…did something happen?” This is the Spencer you know– voice soft and guarded– and for a second it feels like you two are getting to know each other all over again. “Did officer Kaper make you uncomfortable? I’ll ask for a change of guard, I’ll–“
“N-No,” You cut him off with a shaky exhale. Your head falls on your free hand, finger tangled with your messy hair, and you tug on it. Sharply, the tingly pain on your scalp grounds you for a second, brings you back to this situation you created. “No, Spence, no no no, I just want to go home, I need to go home, I–“
“Y/N, breathe,” He coaches you as gently as he can, voice stable and strong, everything you seem to be lacking. “You’re going to set yourself off in a panic again if you don’t breathe. You’re safe in my apartment, okay? I know it’s not the same as being home, I know, but you’re safe there!”
“You’re not here, Spence!”
There is a moment of silence for both of you. “You’re not here and you didn’t throw that fucking box away,” You whisper, keeping the moment something in between just the two of you. It’s enough that you are falling apart like this in front of Spencer, you don’t need officer Kaper bursting in the door to witness this too.
“You found the box,” He sighs. This is the first time you notice just how tired he sounds.
“I found the box,” You confirm, sniffling in a stubborn attempt to not start crying all over again.
“It’s evidence. I can’t throw it away, Y/N.”
“Why is it here?”
“I’ve been working on the case on my free time and it just made sense to keep it at home…”
“Spence, I want to go home. I don’t feel safe,” You admit, shaking your head. “I don’t feel safe here when you’re not here, Spence, I want to go home.”
“I thought you hated me.”
“Spencer…” He has a point, though, and you know it. This is the first time you two speak in days, the first time you experience this type of comfort again, but it’s still not enough. He’s still not here, next to you, watching over you. He’s still not with you. “Spencer, I’m sorry.”
“Silly girl, why are you apologising?” He asks, chuckling on the other side and you can picture him– you can see him shaking his head, hair falling around his pretty face like a perfect picture frame when his eyes, pure honey with specks of green, search for yours. Yeah… you can imagine it to perfection, almost like you are the one with eidetic memory. “This is all my fault. And I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Y/N and I’m trying to protect you, so I need you to stay there, okay? I need you to stay in my apartment, please.”
You don’t know what to tell him. Your eyes wander around the room, looking at all the details he left behind without even noticing. There is a copy of Dostoevsky on the bed side table. I hate Russian literature, you remember telling him once. He was in the shop, bringing you coffee, when you caught a glimpse of a book you certainly didn’t sell him. And I’m appalled you’ve been buying books somewhere else. The way he laughed then, like his biggest problem in the world was explaining to you that this had been a gift from a friend and that he would never betray your trust like this. What do you hate so much about it?, he had asked, leaning over the counter and into you, eager to debate this topic he loved so much. I hate that it’s all about suffering. Even the moments of realisation and self-improvement, they are all through suffering and misery. And of course he had a retort to that, fingers twitching with his enthusiasm. But it’s contextual, you see! Those were written in time of civil unrest and political chaos, and it makes sense to have characters and plot lines that revolve around suffering when that is all you know from the world around you. To this day, your answer paralyses you. I’m a believer in silver linings and happy endings. And not because I’m naive or ignorant, but because the world around me has made me believe that there must be something better out there. Isn’t that nicer?
“Y/N, please tell me you’ll stay there, I need you to stay there.”
His words almost escape you, but you catch them in the very last minute. It gives you a glimpse into a side of him he has yet to show you, and it absolutely shatters your heart in bits. I need you to stay there, he had said. Not you need to stay there, but I need you to stay there. Suddenly, you realise that this– all of this, the relocation, the involvement of the FBI, the dropping off and picking up– is not just for you.
“I’ll stay here,” Whispering with him like this helps. “I’ll stay. I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“Don’t be. I’m happy you called.”
“I’ll let you go back to sleep, but Spence?”
“Yeah?”
“Be safe. I need you back here.”
“I’ll be home in no time.”
For a second, you trust him. You trust everything will be okay, that you can make everything okay until he gets back, and then you’ll pass the responsibility onto him. For a second, you trust him, but you also trust yourself.
Everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
You fall asleep like this; wearing his hoodie and hugging your phone, nose buried on his pillow in hopes to dream of him. The sun wakes you up, and there are birds chirping at your window. Despite the heaviness you feel in you and dooming headache you know will settle soon, the romantic in you believes that today will be a good day. That today will be an okay day.
“Miss Y/L/N? It’s officer Kaper.”
The knock doesn’t scare you anymore. On days one through three it had you jumping on air, heart about to stop from how fast it was beating. Days four and five were easier, less scary and more anxious, waiting for the punctual 9AM knock. From day six onwards, it was a welcome start to your day, knowing that someone is looking after you.
You check the fisheye like Spencer told you to, and then you open the door only when you recognise the face on the other side. “Good morning, Officer,” You smile, nodding at him a bit stiffly. The two of you had been formally introduced by JJ, but it didn’t make this any less awkward for you. “Would you like some coffee?”
“Sure,” He nods, smiling as he comes inside with his usual stack of mail. Everyday, without fail, someone picks up your mail and brings it to Officer Kaper. “Here’s your mail for the day, ma’am.”
“How was the night shift?” It’s almost like a scripted conversation, these back and forth questions you throw at each other, and you’re finding that you hate this. You hate the stiff conversations and the self-imposed bans. But this is day two, and in just more two days, Spencer would be home. And you would talk to him, just like you used to before, just like you did over the phone. Nothing will change; you’re not going home any time soon and Cat Adams isn’t going to just magically disappear. It’s time to accept it and learn how to live with it, as hard as that sounds.
Sifting through your mail has to be your favourite part of the day. It’s normal, slightly boring, and a peek into the routine you used to have and love. No one ever sends you letters, so it’s just bills. “Water, electricity, marketing, marketing,” The coffee is brewing in the background and Officer Kaper is telling you about his daughter. She’s a tiny girl, just two and very, very shy, but apparently, she loves stories. “I might have a book for her,” You get distracted from the letters for a second, smiling at the kind officer. “I’ll bring it to you later tonight!”
When you look back again, it’s the one on top.
The envelope is white, like any other letter, and it has no thing in the back but your name and address scribbled in red, a big heart right next to it. “Uh, Officer, this is… this is weird.” You’ve been instructed to let someone know if you received anything unlabelled or unexpected. This letter is certainly unexpected. “It has no return address.”
“May I open it?” He asks and you nod. He opens it with a knife, pulling a small piece of paper inside. “Okay, it seems like a normal letter. There is no signature of any kind.”
“What does it say?” You’re nervous now, walking around Officer Kaper to read over his shoulder. “Oh my god.”
“Does this mean anything to you?”
Nodding, you’re dialling Spencer’s number already. “It means I’m fucked.”
On the table, laid a message you’d never forget.
He’s not yours to keep.
---------------------------------------
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