#'NOT as lovely as the paint job in the lobby done by our very own-'

[stedebonnit]

Ed and Stede aggressively complimenting each other in front of guests to the point where it makes their guests uncomfortable because they're basically just yelling at each other about who is better at innkeeping, like if you agree

[serafiel-jacobs]

His Favorite (Fanfic)

Angst One Shot about Geppetto's favorite Puppet💛

“Giuseppe Geppetto, it’s an honor for me to interview the father of all puppets”

Geppetto would have rather not done this interview, yet here he is, representing the Workshop Union, as it is his duty as the director, “Please, that’s quite the title, you can call me Geppetto if you like”

“Well Mr. Geppetto, there is no denying the success you and your puppets have, I suppose you are excited about the showcase of the Grand Exhibition”

“Yes… it has been on my mind”

It seems now that enough time has passed where people no longer give their condolences once they see him, why should they? He should have moved on by now.

“Wonderful, I’ve been informed that not just newer models will be involved but a showcase of previous ones, a brief history of their creation so to speak”

That was his idea, Venigni suggested they should focus on their new technology, he is not fond of the puppets that were created before the Grand Covenant, however, he worked hard to make all of those models, old and new, “That is correct, all puppets ever created will have their spotlight”

“I am quite curious, and I believe I speak for a lot of people when I ask this… which is your favorite puppet? What is your greatest creation?”

—-

Geppetto looked at the boy, standing still in front of him, quietly, he never spoke unless spoken to, how long had he been standing there waiting for him to say something?

“Oh please forgive me, I was just consumed in some old memories”

The boy nods, saying how he just came back from the Grand Exhibition, telling him about what the alchemists were scheming. Geppetto knew he should have never trusted them, it’s all their fault this happened, spreading that damned disease, it’s their fault he…

Geppetto takes a deep breath, composing himself, “This must be devastating for Antonia, you should keep her company in these hard times”

Again, the boy nods, so dutiful, so obedient towards him. He is almost out of the door when Geppetto calls for him again, how foolish of him, he almost forgot. Opening one of the drawers in his desk and standing up, the two of them now in front of each other.

“I have a gift for you”

Geppetto smiles, revealing a necklace that has a small quartz as its decoration, not a real one of course, those are too valuable to waste on a necklace, rather one he made himself out of the limited tools he has instead. Gently putting it around his neck, the boy smiling widely at him.

“Do you like it?”

He nods enthusiastically, he loves it and makes his feelings well known to his father.

“A precious gift to someone who is very precious to me,” Geppetto played with his hair, everything was well, everything should have been perfect.

Yet something in the back of his mind bothered him.

“… You wouldn’t give this to anyone else would you?”

The boy shakes his head, it’s a special gift from his father, and he would never give it away to anyone else.

“That’s good,” Geppetto breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you, for always being such a good boy to me”

Geppetto extended his arms, at first the boy was a little confused until he realized his father was going to hug him, so ecstatic that he forgot to manage his force, being a little too forceful with his father as they hugged each other, apologizing immediately, making Geppetto laugh.

“It’s okay, I’m happy you think so fondly of me,” Geppetto looked at him, no, he looked behind him, at that painting, “Soon, the two of us will be the family we were always meant to be”

—-

Geppetto took a deep breath, stepping inside Hotel Krat, blood splattered across the entrance, he sighed, something for him to clean up later. Slowly walking into the front lobby, his age makes it so he has a harder time these days, feeling how the puppets had their gaze on him, staring directly and intensely, he paid them no mind. It was a rushed job, he can polish them up later once he has the proper tools, for now, he has other priorities.

Upstairs, he enters the room, having no time to say anything before Carlo almost tackles him with a hug, ecstatic to his father again.

“Carlo, I’m so happy to see you too,” Geppetto smiled, looking at his son, wiping some blood out of his face, “What happened this time?”

“Some people came,” Carlo smiled back at him, “I didn’t like them, they didn’t want to play with me”

Not the first time this happens, it looks like he is going to have to make some adjustments to the security system of the Hotel. He should have done that when he deactivated the stargazer, but it doesn’t matter now, he won’t let anyone else enter, they could hurt his precious son. This is for Carlo’s sake too, so far he hasn’t tried to sneak out, yet Geppetto worries he might do so one of these days, he is a good boy just… a little mischievous from time to time, and he cannot allow that.

“Son, you have your toys to play downstairs with, you don’t need more playmates,” Geppetto played with his hair, “But if you are feeling lonely, I can build you more”

Carlo pointed at the chair on the opposite side of the room, “I want that one!”

Geppetto turned to look at it, on the floor was the box, opened, and on that chair…

“It’s going to be difficult Carlo,” Geppetto’s voice was gentle trying not to upset him, “He needs a heart, one like yours”

“Can’t I give him half of mine?” Carlo pouted.

“No, sweetheart that’s not how it works,” Geppetto touched Carlo’s chest, his gray and decayed skin made it almost feel numb. His fingers began to glow, the mechanism working as intended. It’s all looking good, his heart is stable, there are no issues, there shouldn’t be any issues, yet does this constantly, as a father, he needs to be sure.

Taking his palm away, Carlo cries out in pain, Geppetto comforting him, saying how everything is going to be alright, that soon, they can be the family they were always meant to be.

“Father-”

“Carlo, it’s getting late, I don’t want you staying up for too long,” Geppetto’s voice was now firm, “You know it’s time for you to go to bed”

Carlo pouted again, he didn’t want to go to bed, but now his chest hurts really badly. It always hurts when father does that, it’s for his own good, that’s what his father says. Because his heart is special, no one else has a heart like his, Carlo knows his father is right because each time someone comes here, he takes theirs away, and none of them have his kind of heart.

“I’ll be there in a moment, there is something I need to do first”

Carlo nodded, quickly leaving the room. Once again, Geppetto took a deep breath, making his way towards the chair, he really needs to find a way for Carlo to stop snooping around his belongings. He carries the boy in his arms and carefully sets him inside the box, his eyes closed looking as if he was sleeping, the boy had asked him before what sleeping felt like.

Geppetto touched his face gently, he is still wearing that necklace, making him smile, he never took it off, he never let anything bad happen to it, he wore it when he gave him the heart and he is still wearing it now.

Geppetto put his hands on the box ready to close it, his thoughts consuming him and making him stop. Thoughts about the alchemists, about the frenzy, how Carlo died, thoughts about the past…

“… which is your favorite puppet? What is your greatest creation?”

“Thank you, for always being such a good boy to me,” Geppetto couldn’t stop smiling now that he knew his answer, whispering the boy’s name one last time before sealing the box shut, not to be opened ever again.

[scintillating-galaxias]

dream

this story is about freefall and overkill, two neutral bounty hunters who needed to make a living during the war while simultaneously not being forced apart through the various means of either ‘side.’ they aren’t the best at their job, and it was tough scraping enough together, but some weeks after they finally manage it, the two bump into an old friend of theirs, who was thought to have perished in the bombing that destroyed old gygax...

(@exchangeyourexperience so i heard you liked adina writing,, i dug up and polished an older piece for you, though it’s more centered around a couple other ocs of mine. still, adina plays a large part, and i feel it does a good job at summarizing the sort of effect she has on people :,)) (also oh No the tag broke, sorry if you see this twice ;0;)

3.7k, OC / OC, rough take on an idw continuity.

x

“Babe!” Freefall hollered. “Come check this out!”

Overkill glanced up from the holoboard advertising a new sweets shop that had opened up a couple blocks down to the sight of Freefall waving her arm unnecessarily enthusiastically—she was taller than a majority of the startled mechs around her, Overkill could see her just fine, seriously—and pointed at a quaint little building. She wandered over, taking Freefall’s hand in hers. And then she blinked when she saw what was sitting pretty in the display window.

“Conjunx ritus designs?” she said, slightly incredulous. Then she grinned. “Aw, Freefall, are you trying to tell me something?”

The blue of Freefall’s visor deepened into a familiar, embarrassed hue. “I—No, I wasn’t trying to—C’mooon, that’s not fair, I just wanted to show you it! You already know I wanna make you my conjunx. My connie. My wittle junxy-wunxy—”

“That’s enough out of you,” Overkill said, dutifully ignoring the pinkening of her own white faceplates. Freefall merely laughed. “Slagger,” she muttered fondly.

“I just wanna look inside,” Freefall continued after a very mature appearance of her tongue from her mouth. “Y’know, to consider our options. I’m not proposing right now or anything, I wouldn’t surprise you like that—.”

“I know, I know, I was messing with you. You just want to be ready when the time’s finally right.”

Freefall huffed a puff of steam from her vents. “Damn right I do! We’re gonna have a slagging great ritus, and we’re gonna have it done right.” She dropped a firm kiss on her crown and started tugging her towards the entryway, opening the door and dramatically sweeping her arm to gesture for her to pass first. Overkill chuffed with a smile and did so, Freefall quickly following her in.

A quiet chime gently played overhead as the doors slid shut behind them. The inside was just as picturesque as the outside, with its tasteful decorations and its light creams and pastel pinks. Overkill almost felt like she should apologize to the receptionist and step out to take a quick shower at the least. A little bit off from the small lobby was a much larger open, round room. Stuck to the walls were dozens of samples of metal plates etched and painted with a variety of intricate designs and colors. They were organized into neat columns by city, and there were five tiers of them from what Overkill could see to account for mechs of different heights.

Overkill and Freefall looped their arms together again and stepped in further. The receptionist, a small mech with a teal and gold-accented paint job, glanced up from a small stack of datapad on the desk.

“Hello,” he said warmly. “Do you have an appointment with us today?”

“Nah, we’re just checking it out for now,” said Freefall. The clerk nodded politely.

“Of course, go ahead. I’m sure you’ll find something you enjoy. If you have any questions, the artist of these lovely pieces will be out shortly.”

“Alright, thank you.”

Wings twitching excitedly, Freefall strode for the round room, visor glittering away as she made a beeline for the section of wall dedicated to Simfur. Overkill followed a bit more slowly, taking in

“Oh, wow, look at these!” Freefall whispered in her best mockery of ‘quiet.’ “You’d look amazing in this!”

“You think so?” Overkill murmured, smoothing a hand down Freefall’s back to keep her fluttering wings from clocking an attendant over the head.

“Frag yeah! The gold’s like… I dunno, it just works with you! Gold ‘nd pink look good, gold nd’ brown, and white, it all looks good!”

A pleased flush darkened Overkill’s cheeks. But as she went to answer, a soft, warm voice called from behind her, “Hello there!”

Overkill paused. A memory flickered in the back of her processor, an old light that sputtered with age. Frowning, she turned around to the plod of heavy footsteps approaching from behind her. “Are you two lovelies finding anything you like…” The mech, a massive rose-gold tank, stopped in her tracks. Then her eyes spiraled out to the size of dinner plates. “Freefall? Overkill?”

“‘Dina?” Overkill gasped.

Adina squealed and threw her arms open. Overkill only barely managed to stop herself from leaping straight into her—she noticed the cane looped over her wrist at the last second and instead rushed straight into Adina’s waist.

“I thought you were dead!” she whisper-shrieked, clinging to Adina with everything she had. “Gygax—I didn’t know if—” Adina sank carefully to her knees and shifted Overkill over to pull her tight against her thick neck. Overkill shrilled delightedly, burrowing her face in to hide her tears.

“Starlight, am I dreaming? Starlight, are you real?”

“Yes, oh my God—!”

“You would’ve slapped me silly, I couldn’t stop crying—Oh, who am I kidding, I still cried for ages afterward—”

Adina sniffled, and then clung to Overkill all over again. Wave after wave of pure relief and joy washed over her, doubled by Freefall’s own bewildered, overjoyed blubbering. Adina hurriedly shifted Overkill to her other arm then, before leaning forward to wrap the other tightly around Freefall.

“I haven’t forgotten you, Freefall, sweetspark, my goodness, it’s so good to see you!”

“We wanted to come look for ya,” Freefall explained shakily as she looped her arms around Adina’s waist and buried her face into Adina’s chest so closely, it was as though she were trying to hide beneath her pink armor. “We really did, ‘Dina, but all we cared about after Gygax blew was getting the hell out of dodge. By the time we even remembered everyone else—you, Tango’s crew, you know—we were already getting trained up by the Autobots. We didn’t even know where to start looking.”

“I don’t blame you one bit,” murmured Adina, bumping her cheek against the top of Freefall’s head and giving her a tiny kiss on the crown of her head. God, Adina’s hugs were just as heavenly as ever, just the perfect amount of squish and closeness without it being suffocating, and there was her hand cupping the back of Overkill’s head, pressing her close. They stayed like that for a long few moments, whispering and clutching each other as though they might vanish if they did not.

Primus, was this a dream? But, Adina’s armor did not pass through her fingers, she did not awaken clung tightly to Freefall—

Thank you, she thought mindlessly to whatever stupid thing above them sat back with its ridiculous opera glasses to watch the shitshow fly, thank you for sparing her, too.

Eventually, Adina shuddered in another breath before patting them both “Come, come. We must catch up. I don’t have any appointments until this evening, so we won’t be interrupted. Though—ah—my spark certainly isn’t what it used to be, so I can’t be up late.”

Adina’s earlier desperate question echoed as Overkill and Freefall got to their feet. Was this a dream? Watching the slow sway and drift of her gauzy shawl fluttering behind her, the steady and slow way she seemed to glide through the halls with her cane regally and dutifully at her side. Overkill’s visor furrowed in thought as Adina swept the two of them behind a small curtain to go to her office. It could have almost been chalked up to memory’s error. The Adina she knew two million years ago moved with springs in her feet, animated gestures, bubbling smiles. While grace suited Adina as perfectly as her paint, Overkill had to wonder—What happened?

Adina tapped in a short code to a door on the right and motioned them inside her office. Quaintly decorated in light colors like the rest of the place, cozily filled with organic plants and a variety of art pieces. A series of tablets with schedules and what appeared to be commissions lay neatly stacked on her desk. She gestured to a couple of comfortable-looking chairs before reaching behind her desk and pulling the chair behind it around to the front.

“I’ll get us some drinks,” she said with a sunny smile as she opened a cabinet in the wall and pulled down a jar of shiny silver metal. “Freefall, do you still like zinc flakes?”

“Aw, you remember!” Freefall said jovially.

Adina chuckled. “Of course,” she said. “You regularly poured three containers of zinc into your energon because you liked the way it ‘thickened it up.’ How could I forget that?”

Overkill feigned a gag. “I wish I could forget about it. She still does it.”

“Aw, you love it.”

“And you, Overkill, still a fan of Siebenaler?”

“You have that here?” she gasped, transgressions against Freefall immediately forgotten. “I haven’t been able to get my hands on any in eons!”

“It was a gift from one of my clients. Odd one, that one is,” Adina mused.

“Oh?” Overkill curled her fists under her chin with a coy smile. “Someone holds you in high regard if they’re willing to go out of the way for it.”

Adina laughed again, but it took a noticeably bitter note—sharp, compared to her usual sweet timbre. The warm, bubbling pool of her field rapidly cooled. “It’s nothing like that,” she said, meeting neither of their gazes as she poured their drinks. “I’m not seeking out anyone at the moment, anyway.”

Freefall grunted. “Where’s Bravo anyway? I haven’t seen him around.”

Crunch.

The pieces of the cube in Adina’s hands tinkled to the ground. Dread twisted Overkill’s tubes into a crumpled scrap ball. Not Adina. Anyone but Adina.

“Oh,” said Freefall, shoulders hunching. “I’m… Sorry, I didn’t realize. Erm.”

“You’re forgiven. You didn’t know,” Adina murmured as she rapidly shuttered her eyes. She gently set down her bottle of energon. “He… We didn’t break our bond or anything. Primus, no. I love him more than I love life itself. He was killed during the siege. A Decepticon recruiter tried to coerce us into joining, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter who did it, does it?” She burst out a shivery vent. “I couldn’t protect him. I tried to, I really did, but I—I failed.” She thumbed some spot over her chest, and the grip on her cane grew tighter. “I paid quite the price.”

Overkill scooted over and leaned her body against Adina’s arm, while Freefall tucked herself up against Adina’s other side. Adina fell silent, and they sat there for a long few moments, waiting for the cold to thaw just the slightest before speaking again.

“I don’t think he’d blame you,” Overkill said softly. Blame was a very difficult concept to grasp these days. It wore a variety of names and could switch forms at the same time it took a spark to pulse. But with her? With Adina? Blame could never take her soft, rosen chassis.

Freefall hummed. “Yeah. I’m real sorry, ‘Dina.”

“It’s… Not fine, of course, I miss him every day, but”—Adina straightened and handed them both their drinks—“I can’t keep identifying with his passing.”

“You’re a strong mech,” said Overkill. “You’ll figure out how to carry that weight someday.”

“Thank you.” Adina wiped her eyes and let a short huff. They sat there quietly for a few more moments until Adina drew in a wobbly breath. “Today’s meant to be a happy day,” she said, shaking her head with a roll of her shoulders. “You’re here! We have plenty of time to mourn him properly another time. I’d first like a chance to be nosy, if you’ll grant me it.”

“Go for it,” Freefall said into her cube as she threw her head back to swallow it down.

Adina neatly slid a coaster beneath Freefall’s cube a second before it made contact with her table. “You two came in here together, of course,” she prompted. Overkill ducked her head and smiled into her glass.

Freefall smacked her lips. “Yeup.”

“And you were looking at my conjunx ritus etchings?” Her cannon was slowly rising up out of her backpack again to peep over her head like a nosy neighbor craning their head over the fence. So she still hadn’t chased away that particular giveaway to her poker-face. Cute.

“Those’re yours? Hot damn. Anyway, uh, yeah, we were.”

Adina’s watery gaze turned wide. “Does that mean you two…?”

“Hitched our trailers and hit the road?” Freefall snorted. “Naw, not yet. But soon.”

“I mean this in the kindest, most loving way possible, but—” Adina politely laced her hands together and gave them both a strained smile. “It’s been millions of years! How have you two still managed to avoid the question?”

“We were going to before the war,” explained Overkill as she took a far more modest sip from her glass. The Siebenaler sat perfectly glossy on her tongue, just the right mix of tangy and sweet. It’s like she was backstage accepting free handouts all over again. “Mm, that’s good,” she muttered, lifting the cube to peer approvingly at the liquid swirling within. “Anyway, obviously we didn’t get around to it in time, and neither of us wanted to have a super private, low-budget event in the middle of the war. But we do really want something special to celebrate when we can put down our guns for good. So we decided to wait until the war was finally done before getting around to anything.”

“I admire your patience,” said Adina. “I suppose you two ended up staying with the Autobots, then?”

“Nah, we’re neutral now. We just”—Overkill kicked her in the shin—“Ow! Um. Filled in for either side. Sometimes. But we’re done with that too, now.”

Adina’s gaze narrowed. Overkill took a long draw from her cube.

“We’ve all had to do things we’d rather not do,” she said. Her tone never changed from that slow, steady sweetness, but Overkill couldn’t help the guilty worms squirming in her fuel tank. Adina… sounded like she knew, somehow. How dirty they’d gotten their hands. And now here they were, tracking their mud and filth into her quiet, clean space. They weren’t fit for the presence of someone like Adina anymore. “But I digress. You’re keeping busy in the meantime?”

“Traveling, mostly,” said Overkill, leaping on the conversation change like a scraplet to a dying mech. The air slowly cleared as they chatted, from that awful, dense brine to something light and airy. Soon, it was like they hadn’t even spent the last couple million years apart. God, she’s missed this. Neither her nor Freefall had a lot of close friends due to the nature of their work, and that meant they saw a whole lot of each other. That was fine, of course, but it didn’t stop being able to talk to new people in new ways from being any less refreshing.

So she sat back and soaked it in, swirling her cube and listening to the sound of Adina’s breathy laugh as Freefall recounted one of the more bizarre things they’d seen off-planet. Adina had been a sculptor before everything went to the Pits. She’d never stopped creating, but after her injury, labor and standing for days on end like that simply wasn’t possible anymore. So she’d turned to smaller works—her conjunx ritus designs. And on top of that, to Overkill’s surprise, massage work.

“There’s enough discomfort and misery going around,” explained Adina. “I might as well find some way to lighten that load, however little or temporary. Besides, you know I like working with my hands. It seemed reasonable to me.”

Hours slipped by like that, passing stories around the same one does a cup of energon, until a ping from Adina’s computer had her standing up out of surprise.

“My, I hadn’t realized how much time had passed,” she said with a frown. “I hate to cut this short, but I’m afraid I simply cannot keep my energy up as long as I used to.”

“It’s no problem,” said Overkill as she and Freefall stood. “Don’t worry about it, we can hang out some other time. Grab a bite or something.”

“I’d like that. I’m not scheduled for anything in a couple of days, so. I suppose your comm-line changed? I couldn’t reach you when I first tried.”

“Yeah, we had to change ours a few times. I’ll just send our new ones over.” She does so, and it brings her an absolutely bizarre amount of joy to see that read receipt under Adina’s designation again. She’d tried before, but given up after hundreds of tries. Adina wouldn’t have been able to respond if she was in a coma, of course, but how was she supposed to know? “So we’ll be seeing you around?” “Absolutely!” Adina swept them both into another hug. “Ohh, it was so good to see you both again! Stay safe out there, won’t you?” “No promises,” chortled Freefall. Adina pursed her lips. “Alright, alright. Promise we’ll try.”

“Thank you.” Adina released them and followed them towards the door, where she leaned out as the pair of them made their way back down the hall. “Come back anytime! Friends and family get a discount,” she added with a twinkle in her golden eyes. “You’re considered both.” “Shucks,” said Freefall, bashful.

“We’ll take you up on that,” Overkill called over her shoulder as she looped her arm through Freefall’s. “See ya around!”

“Tah tah, my dears!”

Freefall shimmied a little as they walked back out of the parlor, bell chiming cheerily behind them. “‘My dears.’ I like it when she calls me that. It feels nice.”

“Me, too.” Overkill sighed and bumped her head against Freefall’s arm. “Primus. I’m just—I’m glad she made it.”

“Same,” murmured Freefall. “‘S nice to know at least someone made it.”

Overkill glanced up at Freefall’s souring face. “Thinking about your team again?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah. Now that I know she’s—well, not okay, but alive, all it does is make me wonder evenmore. I just… I hate not knowing.”

“I know, babe. Maybe once we’re settled down, we can try getting some leads on them.”

Freefall’s jaw tightened. “I—I thought about that. Still am, thinking about that, to be honest, but I don’t… I don’t want to wreck what we finally have. It took so long. And I know I’m probably not gonna like what I find.”

Overkill worried her lip. She knew, of course, what Freefall meant. Millions of years of scraping together what they had, having bank accounts randomly closed, emergency visits to the medics, accidents, the horrific inflation of the average Cybertronian credit to just about everywhere else in the galaxy—saving up for a home had nearly killed them both. But…

 “You need the closure. And it’s not a bounty we’re collecting. It won’t be half as dangerous. Now that the war’s done, there’s been a ton of time to get the names and a headcount of everyone who died.” She nudged her shoulder. “And given how anal Panzer is about getting his labels in place,” she added, “it’s happening fast. I bet we’ll barely even have to head off-planet. We’ll just be breaking our backs over in an archive for days on end.”

That got a short laugh out of her. “I guess.”

“Freefall.”

Freefall’s wings sank in a silent sigh. She faced Freefall with a sad, restrained hope swimming in her gaze. “…You’re sure?”

“Of course. You deserve to know what happened to them so you can either celebrate, or grieve, properly. You can’t stay in limbo forever.”

Finally, Freefall broke into a broad grin. “I love you so damn much,” she said, yanking Overkill into a tight hug and planting a kiss firmly on her head. “I got dinner tonight. We’ll get lunch with ‘Dina, get settled in and then… I guess we head out again.”

“We never were very good at staying in one place,” Overkill smiled. “Adina’s right though. “We really need to get a move on.”

“Think she’ll do our ritus designs for us?”

“Well, now that I know she’s around and in the business, I don’t want anyone else.”

“Same. They were damn gorgeous. When d’ya think she picked those up?”

“I’m not sure, but I’m glad we’re in agreement.” Overkill leaned her head back to let the light of New Gygax touch her smile. “Let’s get home.”

“Home,” Freefall hummed. “Haven’t been able to use that word in a minute now.”

“And it’s all ours to use.” Overkill kissed Freefall on the cheek and laced her arm through hers. “Let’s not wear it out. Shall we?”

“We shall,” said Freefall. “We shall.”

[cryinginthebackseat]

you’ve got more poison than sugar - part ii

part i    part iii  AO3 

Fandom: Call Of Duty

Pairing: Russell Adler x Bell

Words: 2.918

Warnings: some mild sexual content and swearings, like usual

Author’s note: okay, i know this one's a little short but i promise there'll be more coming on the next chapter, i promise.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The first time Bell showed her face at Langley, it was two weeks after the program. She wore beige, a ruffled high-neck blouse that made her hazel eyes, like charred nut shells, hard and just about indestructible, popped.

She stood at the lobby, regarding the place like she’d waltzed into a wrong banquet hall, the band played in the background, chandeliers dripping like arctic icicles, the bar drenched in opulent gold.

She didn’t belong here.

But Adler met her there, anyway, Hudson in tow.

“Have I ever done something to him?” Bell asked after the rather short-lived meeting, squinting at the vacant spot Hudson left them. She’d yielded very few words. When she did, it’d been all business, crisp, so it surprised him now to hear her uttering something with more than 2 syllables.

“What do you mean?”

“Have I deliberately done something to piss him off?” she elaborated, quieter, but the glower remained.

Adler carefully studied her behind his tinted shades. It still troubled him to a degree that he couldn’t read her. Like she locked herself off. They say eyes are the window to the soul, but thus far, he saw nothing. Fuck the poets.

“No. At least, not as far as I can tell,” he grits out, curious to see where she was heading with the conversation. “Why?”

Bell hummed, but seemingly unconvinced. A beat, then: “He doesn’t seem to like me that much.”

You don’t belong here, he thought and his face went cagier, back stiffer, but no doubt intrigued. Very much so by this mysteriously curious creature.

Perceptive and diamond-sharp intelligent, he pondered. They might have secured the bag after all.

“It's not you. That’s just as warm and fuzzy you’ll see Hudson with everyone, trust me,” he uttered, hoping that she bought the fib. She did. At least, he thought so. “Come on, Bell, we’ve got a job to do.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Adler finds her outside the garage the next night, smoking alone, reading in secret. The ground is still wet from the rain, straggling cloud wisps and every artery of this place fucking freezes his bones. Bell ditches her gloves inside, but has her coat on, the collar popped up like antennae.

"You aren't cold?" he asks when she doesn’t notice him. Too engrossed in her own bubble. She does look better, though. Park is right about that one at least.

"I'm good," she answers without looking up. "Am I needed for something inside?"

"No, just thought I could use some fresh air."

He’s studying her, raking her from head to toe. Suddenly, he doesn’t care if she would notice him. Then he steps closer, standing next to her, lifting his cigarette to his mouth.

“What are you reading?”

There’s something about this secret element to her that has him on his toes. Everything about her is curious- frustratingly curious, careful, as Bell rolls her neck to meet him. In the low light, she looks quite new, he learns. And his eyes beg for him to linger.  

“Amerika. Kafka,” she says. “Have you read it?”

A subtle shake of his head and, “No.” While Bell nods, silent, like she doesn't know what else to say to him. “Should I? Give it a read?” Adler adds, just to keep the conversation going.

She shrugs, a cloud of smoke escaping her nostrils. “I can’t say that Kafka is ever a favorite of mine, but he really is sui generis. And Amerika is probably the most approachable of all his works? It’s funny too.”

“I never thought I’d hear Kafka and funny in the same sentence.”

“Yeah, well, it’s very subtle. And if only you can understand his nightmarish sense of humor, that is,” she explains, shrugging again, like she’s embarrassed. “I don’t know, maybe you’ll like it.”

Frankly, he hates Kafka. He hates his vatic, dead-eye vision of the world; that acute sense of hopelessness clinging onto his main protagonists like vines, but Adler finds himself nodding, anyway.

“Sure, lend me your copy once you're done with it." If she’s surprised by his answer, she does not tell her. But Adler thinks she’s smiling though- just the barest quirk of her lips, but it’s enough for him to know that she appreciates the gesture.

A brief, unmapped silence ensues.

"I'm sorry, by the way."

Adler arches an eyebrow at her. "For what?"

Bell slots a bookmark into the book, closes it, frowns at it.

"For yesterday. I, uh… I feel like I was being insolent to you.”

He looks sidelong at Bell and tries to read her. Her expression is raw and open, a painting visible through a small tear in the paper. For some reason, that catches him by surprise.

“You already apologized, you know?” Adler teases lamely.

“I know, but still it was uncalled for and very unprofessional of me. You’re my CO, not some random BND agent I’m forced to work with. I shouldn’t have said that," she mumbles softly and sighs, world-weary, heavy, sounding like a woman twice her age. "It will not happen again. I promise you."

"Hey, consider it water under the bridge, kid. You’re in a rather rough place right now, I wouldn’t hold it against you,” he tells her, fond. “What matters is you’re alright. We can’t catch Perseus if you’re green around the gills.”

Her eyes meet his. He meets her back.

“Thank you.” And Bell rotates her body to face him. Mussed brunette hair and sharp cheekbones, mouth kinked up in sympathy as she says, “Is this what you have to put up with all these years?"

He summons a smirk. "With you? More or less."

And then the woman does the unexpected; Bell laughs. She fucking laughs. Delicate sounding, like a tinkling glass, petals wrapped in satin, moonbeams through frosted windows. It dies, too soon to his liking. Adler privately lets the sound of her laughter replays in his head, as if trying to pocket it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It’s only after Ukraine when he discovers that she smells different. That wintry floral smell of hers that he’s accustomed to is commingling with something else.

But now-

Now, there's music in the air.

Sims does this sometimes, bringing his Zenith Trans-Oceanic, or as he would call it the Tranny, to the safehouse and they would tune in to international radio stations. Cream's Sunshine Of Your Love is playing- or more specifically, their song is 5 seconds away from being cut off abruptly by the DJ. The song reminds him of Vietnam, regrettably. The root of all madness.

“Next up, is my favorite ever track-to-track transition on an album. This is Pink Floyd’s Brain Damage and-”

Adler stops whatever it is he’s scribbling. He sits up, ramrod straight.

“Mind switching to another station?” he asks suddenly, glances up at Sims quickly who, as Adler suspected, is giving him a rather odd look.

“Why?”

"I've always hated Pink Floyd." Only because he’s out of reason. Only because he can feel Bell’s confused stare, searing into his temple. Only because it’s the only way of escaping this. "Change it, please."

Sims opens his mouth. The unspoken: how about that time in Denver?

The telling jerk of Adler’s lips warns him not to ask.

The other man clamps his mouth shut, seemingly gets the message and switches to a different station. He never brings his radio again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Frank Woods is exactly how Adler saw him last time- or since Hue City, that is: tigerish and intimidating- a kick in the head voice, a hurricane in the shape of a man and he is making his way to him right now.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?”

"So talk."

Woods shakes his head. "Not here."

Adler looks at him at last now, curiosity creeping over him. He then stubs his cigarette, nods once and leads them both to his office.

Once they’re inside, he locks the door, secures the blinds.

“What is it?” Adler takes a seat behind his desk. Woods remains standing. He paces around the room, a hand on his bearded chin.

“What the fuck is going on with your girl?”

Adler doesn’t know which one is worse, the fact that Woods manages to sniff out something going on with Bell or that he just addresses her as his girl. Either way, it's bad. Either way, Adler should have expected the former issue. Woods is astute as he is dangerous. There's a reason why the CIA gave the green light for Mason and Hudson to save him in Da Nang all those years ago, after all.

"What about her?" Adler asks, even-toned, giving nothing away. Even though he is in the ‘need to know’ column regarding Bell’s brainwashing, this is something Adler initially wishes he could keep under wraps.

“Don’t bullshit me, Adler. She has that look on her face- I see it in her eyes. The exact same look Mason has been wearing since ‘Nam,” Woods tells him, point-blank, never being the one to settle for niceties. After Hudson, Adler thinks he simply can’t tolerate the agency anymore.

“I saw it all, remember? Had a fucking front row seat to his relapse and shit, so don’t tell me she’s alright. Not when it looks like she could snap out of it any moment.” Woods has his hands on the table and looks at him dead-on. “Tell me I’m right. Tell me there is something wrong with her.”

He regards the other man coolly. Woods is no longer asking. Adler is out of move.

“You're right,” he answers simply, eventually, tipping his king over on its side, stopping the clock. "Did you talk to Hudson regarding this?"

"Since when did I report to Agent stick-up-his-ass? Fuck no. That's why I came straight to you.” Woods heaves a heavy sigh, like he’s the one with all these burdens. “Now, what the hell’s wrong with her?”

“She’s suffering from brain damage."

“Shit. All that ‘cause of MK-Ultra?”

“One of the few factors that caused it, yes.”

His mouth goes flat. "How bad is it?”

“Bad. We’re trying to minimize for any collateral as we speak, at least until we finally get our hands on Perseus. But she… she might not make it.” Adler leans back in his chair, like his body feels heavy all of the sudden.

Woods nods. Uncharacteristically silent, looking strangely contemplative, sympathetic even. That should be categorized as an oddity itself, Woods and him, two proud Americans, Vietnam veterans and she’s just another red, another blood they would indubitably sacrifice for their country and they’re sympathizing with her? Yet something deep inside Adler, something resonates like the throat of a storm, sinks its teeth into him, confounds him, every time he thinks of her.

Woods crosses his arms over his chest, glances at the door, as if someone might knock anytime soon, then back to him.

"So, what's the plan?" He quickly adds, "if things go south, what are you gonna do?"

"It won't come to that. She'll come through, I know it," Adler counters, suddenly defensive. Whatever the use of his tone indicates, Woods ignores it.

"You sure about that?”

"Are you doubting me?” Adler spits out a retort. A quiet fury grasps him tight, but he forces himself to keep under a tight lid.

Woods holds his hands up in mock surrender.

"Look, I’m just saying, that woman is a loose cannon- you can’t be too careful."

"We have everything under control, Woods. And this is the least of your worry right now."

"Alright, okay. If you say you and Park have her contained already, then fine. I trust you,” he says and heads for the door.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Woods says again. He’s facing the door, back to him. “Whatever happens, keep Mason in the dark about any of this."

“Of course. He isn’t on a need to know basis from the very start, you know that.”

"Good. ‘cause the less he knows the better." Woods pauses like he's constructing an entire sentence in his head. He peers over his shoulder. "I mean it. He’s been through enough. I don’t know which ground you crawled up from, but up here, some people implement this kind of civility to other people.”

The words sting, yet Adler stares back at him, seemingly unfazed. "What, you’re saying that I’m simply heartless?”

“Nah,” Woods says, satirical and sardonic. “You’re just Adler.” And with that, he’s gone.

1976

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was eight o'clock on a mid-September evening and Adler found himself coming home to an empty house.

His wife had already left a week prior, crossing the country with a self-proclaimed film critic she'd met at the premiere of The Shining last summer, but Adler didn't know that yet.

He went to the kitchen. Dropped his suitcase, pulled off his coat and scarf. He reeked of cigarettes, cheap air freshener and jet fuel- air travel is simply sickening, in terms of its cost and smell- and in a desperate need of a hot bath.

"Honey?" He switched the lights on. She wasn't here. So Adler headed upstairs, to their room where they would rest their bones every night for the past 15 years. The door was slightly ajar. He expected to see her sleeping from under the duvet, hair splaying all over the pillow.

What he found was a folded note on his bedside table. He stared at it, his heart at his throat, fearing the worst, the unimaginable. He picked the letter and unfolded it.

Forgive me.

Russell,

Live or die, but don't poison everything .

His head did pirouette. So, this was it. This was what it felt like, he thought.

Not heartbreak, not sadness. But a collapse of the world- his world and all he could do was watch from the sidelines.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

1981

Adler stares at the words now, sleeves rolled up, anatomical heart. The paper is fading, wrinkled and it smells like smoke and decay and tears, capped with something akin to regret.

It has his name on it, begins with it, and ends with an apology, written in cursive. Like microscopic snakes dancing around his peripheral vision, hissing in his ears.

Live or die, but don't poison everything.

No one likes to be told that they are sick, but Russell Adler has learned to acknowledge it, embrace it, weaponize it. Her words mean zero shit to him now. You can't condemn someone to the depths of hell when it's the only place he's known all his life.

So, he takes the letter for the last time, remembering how the ink used to smudge his calloused fingers, crumples it up, that satisfying crunch dins in his palm, and tosses it into the fireplace.

The paper crackles. Good fucking riddance. It really takes all this time for him to grow the guts, apparently, and he just stares and stares as the fire begins to engulf everything, wiping away his past failure.

He promises he would never fail again, at anything. No matter what the cost, failure is never going to be an option.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Bell arrives at the garage with frantic eyes, a half-burnt cigarette between her lips and uncharacteristically late. Color peppering her cheeks- red, like an apple bitten into.

“I’m sorry, I overslept,” is her excuse, but she’s looking at the room strangely, he thinks, almost like she’s seeking a particular face.

When she makes her way to her desk, when she whizzes past him by the board and her planet is entering his orbit for the first time in the morning, Adler, as if by accident or by design, inhales deeply.

His breath snags.

She smells like someone else.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

(Someone fucked her last night)

The telephone rings in the distance.

“Sims. Yeah, sure, let me get him. Hold on.” He puts the call on hold. “Doc, you might wanna take this one.”

(Someone was in her bed; beside her, above her, under her. Inside her. He imagines her fingers digging into the mattress as they rolled her onto her stomach, mouth trailing down the ladder of her spine. Their breaths intermingled in the seraphic glow of her hotel room)

Adler mechanically crosses the room and picks the receiver.

“Adler.”

(If he herds her away from prying eyes and pushes down the collar of her shirt, would he see the evidence there, taunting him? If he kisses her, would he taste them instead of her? )

"Perhaps," he says over the phone, his face hard. "But my decision is final. I'm sending Woods and Mason to Yamantau. They'll leave in a few days."

(Did they make her come?)

"Of course. Why do you think I chose them for this mission?"

(If she made them?)

“Most likely, but we're prepared for this- you know we are," Adler says, customer service polite, an old recording on a playback. "Right. Well, that concludes the matter then. Yeah, you have a wonderful day to yourself.”

Adler hangs up the telephone. Breathes out a sigh. He pinches the bridge of his nose for a few good seconds, before remembering that he has an audience.

"Oof. Sounds rough," comments Sims, dark eyes slanting in concern.

(Maybe she likes that, rough. Teeth biting the back of her shoulder, that sweet juxtaposition of pain and pleasure coursing through their veins, his hand curling around her throat from behind as she pants and mewls like-)

(But this isn’t about him. Never about him)

"That's one way to put it."

Someone else fucked her. It shouldn't leave an acrid taste in his mouth, but it does.

[p-artsypants]

I’ll Handle This (14)

In Which Lila Meets an Eldritch Abomination

Ao3 | FF.net

Lila never came back to class. No one saw her after school, and all messages of “what the heck was that?” to her were ignored. So Plagg was slightly confused when it came to the contract not working. He did worry that she was just gathering her sources for another attack. What was she planning? A lawsuit? It wouldn’t be unlike her. 

“What’s going on?” Marinette asked, as they walked to the bakery. “I thought you fulfilled the last condition?” 

“The powers of destruction come with a small sense of omniscience. I can’t predict the future or even consciously see what’s going on, but I can usually tell when something bad is going to happen, and what it’s going to be.” 

“So what’s up?” 

“Not sure. My powers are drastically weakened while I’m in Adrien’s body. The Miraculous can probably tell something is wrong. My guess is that Lila is plotting revenge.” 

Adrien looked up from Marinette’s purse. “Should we be worried?” 

“You don’t worry about a thing. Guaranteed that she’s out for my blood. I’ll be able to handle whatever she throws at me.” 

“Even if it’s a lawsuit?” Marinette asked. 

“Well...Gabriel can hire a good lawyer. Besides, her mom doesn’t trust her. Why would she enable Lila’s lawsuit?” 

“Maybe not a lawsuit then. But I think she’s going to reach out for help now.” 

“No. I don’t think so. Lila is very much a ‘if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself’ type. I’m sure she’s coming up with something.” 

At this point, they reached the bakery, and Plagg bid them farewell. 

“Are you sure I can stay?” Asked Adrien, sounding far too optimistic. 

“Please. If you were with me, I’d just have to listen to you wax poetic about how much you love Marinette, and how much you miss her, and how badly you want to kiss her.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Am I wrong?” 

Adrien hid his face in her neck, embarrassed. 

“I know him well. I’ll catch you later, Pigtails.” He gave a salute and headed back to the mansion. 

Many things crossed Plagg’s mind, most of which were cheese related. He thought about what he was going to have for dinner. He thought about how Gabriel and Emilie were doing, and if that was being resolved as well as he was hoping. 

But he didn’t expect someone to grab his wrist and yank him into an alleyway. 

His arm was yanked behind his back, and a sharp blade pressed to his throat. 

“Shut up and don’t move.” A female voice commanded. 

Plagg mulled over the sound for a second before asking, “Lila?” 

“I said don’t move!” She shrieked. Her hold on him was tight, but she was trembling. “I’m going to kill you! It’s the only way...” 

“Only way what?” He asked calmly. 

“To pay you back for what you did! You took everything from me! My mom, my job, the class...I have nothing now!” 

“I think you’re being a little dramatic.” 

“I am not!” She howled. The gravel in her voice really accentuated the insanity in her tone. She had clearly snapped. “My kingdom has toppled, and I have to start all over again! Everything was so perfect! I even had you wrapped around my finger...and then you had to go and show your true colors! You’ll pay for this!” 

Plagg very easily twisted out of her hold and away from the knife, but didn’t try to disarm her. She had a pocket knife, with a blade that could still do some damage, despite it being rather small. 

“Okay, that’s enough of this. You’re still in school. Most of your peers don’t even have jobs. Kids have rocky relationships with their parents all the time. All that stuff you ‘lost’? You can get it back, and probably better than ever if you’re genuine and honest.” 

She sneered at him. “That’s all well and good for some people, but I don’t want relationships. I want pure, unwavering dedication. And I had it! Our classmates were willing to do everything for me! But you and Marinette—!” 

“Marinette had nothing to do with this.” 

“I know she did! You didn’t just go from being a pushover to whatever this is for no reason! She put you up to this! She’s turned you on me!” 

Plagg tilted his head up so he could look down at her over his nose. “Is that what you think? That someone as sweet as Marinette is capable of convincing me to play friendly with you to purposely piss you off?” 

Lila’s face fell. “You mean...that was all an act?” 

“Every bit. I hate your guts Lila. I’m glad your so-called kingdom has come crashing down. You didn’t deserve it anyway.” 

She screamed at him and waved the knife in his face. “Give me one good reason not to slice your face right now! That would ruin your life, wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t have daddy’s approval with a big ugly scar on your face, would you?” 

Plagg watched the knife passively. “You wouldn’t hurt me. You’re a coward. You wouldn’t get your hands dirty.” 

“Try me!” She shouted, the blade poking his cheek. 

He hummed. “I have to ask myself, ‘what would the real Adrien have done?’ And the answer is probably to grovel and cry...but honestly, I don’t care much for that option.” 

Confusion took over her face. “What do you mean, the real Adrien? You are Adrien.” 

He closed his eyes, and reached up to take off his sunglasses. “Lila, Lila, Lila...Adrien hasn’t inhabited this body in a long, long time.” He opened his eyes, and they resembled Chat Noir’s. Not just with slit pupils, but with acid green sclera too. 

“What...?” She stared at him. 

The paint on the wall next to him started to peel. “I saw what you were doing, and I allowed it, because I don’t care about petty mortal squabbles.” The pavement under their feet cracked, and the cracks grew out and away from him. “But you continued to involve me in your plans, and I don’t like to be manipulated.” 

Totally full of fear and hyped up on adrenaline, Lila punched the knife into Plagg’s shoulder. 

He didn’t even flinch. He just took the blade out and ran a hand over the wound, sealing it. Then he held the knife up in front of her face, letting her watch as the metal melted in his hand. 

She backed away from him, hitting the wall behind her, paint still peeling. “What are you? What the hell are you?! Some kind of demon?!” 

His eyes flashed with a glowing green, and more cracks danced up the side of the building. From deep within the darkness, tiny black tendrils of shadow emerged and made their presence known. From each corner of the alley, from the window sills, from the rooftops, black cats peered around and yowled lowly. The calls filled the space with awful, droning songs. 

“Demon? No.” He chuckled. “Bitch, I’m a god.” 

At this, Lila started crying. She looked frantically from side to side, looking for a way out. A way to escape from this nightmare. “What are you going to do to me?!” She wailed. 

“I haven’t decided yet. Depends on if I want you alive or not. I’m leaning on the not right now.” 

“Oh god!” She dropped on her knees in front of him. “Please forgive me! Please! I’m so sorry!” 

“You’re sorry now, now when it’s too late. And only for your own sake. Selfish witch.” 

“Please don’t kill me! I’ll make it up to you! I’ll...I’ll do whatever you want! You know I can be very convincing! I’ll serve you and do whatever you want! Get you whatever you need!” 

He laughed. “With what? Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m Adrien Agreste, one of the most famous people in Paris, if not all of France. And you have no credit anywhere. That’s why you pulled a knife on me, remember?” 

She was on her hands and knees. “Please? Please just give me some time!” 

“One week.” He smirked. 

She looked at him with hope. 

“One week, to run and hide, and then I’m coming after you. If you leave Paris, you’ll probably be safe. But if I ever see you again. You’re dead.” 

She looked like a ghost, she had gone so white. She just stared with the biggest eyes as the shadows started to disappear.

“Get along now, dear. You’ve got some packing to do.” He stepped aside, and gestured to the alley’s opening for her. 

Lila staggered to her feet and took off running, and he could hear her sobbing all the while. 

The ring finally, blessedly beeped. One minute to get home before they switched back. 

Oh god, only one minute! 

He too ran out of the alleyway, much less frantic. 

—

About an hour later, Adrien awoke on a hard floor. Last he remembered, he was with Marinette, watching a movie while laying in her chest. He must have fallen asleep, but why was he on the floor? 

He blinked awake, seeing the lobby of the mansion. He was lying on the cold marble floor. 

And Plagg was sitting in front of him, in his Kwami body, and eating some Camembert. 

“Wakey wakey Sleeping Beauty!” He sang. 

“Plagg!” Adrien shot up. “You’re you! And I’m—“ he held out his hands and looked at his fingers. “I’m me! Look! I have fingers! And toes!” As he stretched, he pulled the muscle in his shoulder and curled in. “Ow! What the heck is wrong with my shoulder?” 

“Oh sorry, Lila stabbed you.” 

“She what?! Oh my god do I need to go to the hospital?!” 

“Eh, probably not. I’m not a healer like Tikki, but I can cauterize the wound at least. So you won’t get infected or bleed to death. Maybe see a doctor if it keeps hurting in a month.” 

“Wow, great. Thanks,” he couldn’t help but laugh. “What did you do? Why did she stab you—me?” 

“I don’t know. Mad about outing herself I guess. I scared her into thinking your body is possessed by an eldritch god. Which was true about an hour ago. And sorry, by the way, the transfer is always so much harder on you than me.” 

“No apologies necessary, buddy! You’re a lifesaver!” He grabbed the little creature and pressed a dozen kisses to his bulbous head. 

“Ew! Gross! Stop! Stop!” Plagg giggled. Then he shouted, “Alright! ENOUGH!” and tore away from Adrien. “Geez, smother me, why don’t ya?” 

“Sorry, I just…you really fixed everything.” 

“For the most part.” Plagg added. “Relationships take cultivation to reap the benefits from.”

“What, now you’re onto farm analogies?”

“FARM WISDOM!” Plagg sang. “But yes, essentially. You and Marinette have a great beginning. Just keep communicating, and encourage her to be honest and open with you. You and your father need some serious help. I’m glad he confessed about the whole Hawkmoth thing, but you both need to get some serious therapy. Once he comes back with your mom, I hope things will be better.”

“I know they will be. Mom was really good about making sure we communicated. And dad was a happier person when she was around.”

Plagg nodded, knowingly. “But you should still put in effort, as you have been doing. It won’t work if you just assume things are going to be better because your mom is back.”

“Oh, I see.” 

“And finally, Lila. I’m pretty sure she’s out of the picture now. However, there will be more Lila’s in the future. You’re a celebrity, and there will always be people that will try to take advantage of you. You can be nice, but don’t put up with it.”

“Should I annoy them with my extensive knowledge of Skyrim?”

“Save that as a last resort.” 

“Will you help me?” 

Plagg screwed up his face as he went back to his wheel of cheese. “My help comes in two forms; vague analogies and full body possession.” 

“Guess I’ll have to get better at understanding analogies, huh?”

The kwami smiled, then added. “But you don’t have to come just to me for help. You have a pretty extensive support network now. You can talk to Nino, Marinette, your parents…you’re not on your own anymore, kid.” 

Adrien sat up a little straighter at that. “Wow…you’re right! I have so many people I can confide in now! This is great!” 

“And just maybe…you should check in on Marinette? Once we transferred back, I woke up in her room and left without a word. She’s probably worried.” 

“Noted! Plagg, claws out!” 

“I just got out of your stinky body~!” He shouted as he was absorbed into the ring. 

Adrien started running. He knew his end goal was the bakery, but for now, he was just excited to be in his own skin again. He could eat whatever he wanted! He didn’t need to stay cramped in a bag all day! He could shower! 

And HE COULD KISS MARINETTE! 

Why the hell was he wasting time!? 

He turned about and rushed to the bakery, making a dizzying amount of leaps and turns. Then he collided with her balcony, his landings being a little rusty. 

“Plagg?” Marinette asked, as she opened the door. “What’s going on? Why did Adrien leave so suddenly? Hey—you’ve got your normal suit on!” 

In a pounce, he was on her, lifting her out of the window by the waist and up into his arms. “Oh My Lady…” He whispered. 

“Adrien?”

He smashed his lips to hers, tired of waiting. Tired of holding back his affections. Tired of not physically being with her. He kissed her face, her cheeks, her chin, any swath of skin he could find. It wasn’t good kissing, by any means, but it was her, them, together. 

“Adrien!” She giggled. “Calm down!”

“No!” Kiss. “I’m too—“ Kiss. “—Excited to—“ Kiss. “—Stop!” 

She let him kiss her silly, until he was huffing and puffing. 

“Are you good?”

“For a few minutes, I think.” 

“Then can you put me down?” She chuckled. He was still holding her by the waist, and she was dangling through the skylight. 

“Oh! I’m sorry, my love.” He let her down into her room, onto her bed, and then released his transformation. 

“Blegh!” Plagg gagged. “I purposefully avoided kissing her while I was in your body, and you STILL made me experience it! Betrayal!” 

“Oh calm down, Plagg. I’m sure it won’t be the last time.” 

Plagg groaned anyway and zipped off to find Tikki. 

“Would you like to come in?”

“Please!” He slid in through the window and tackled her down into the mattress, cuddling up to her chest. “It was nice laying on you when I was two inches tall, but this is way better.” He squeezed her waist and kissed her collarbone. 

“So what happened? You and I were watching a movie, and then you just got up and left without a word!”

“That was Plagg! Last I knew, I was on your chest still. Apparently, he scared Lila right out of Paris and then made a mad dash for home. He made it to the lobby before he collapsed.” 

“He scared her out of Paris?” 

“That’s what he said.” 

She raked her fingers through his hair, her nails scratching along his scalp. He immediately melted into her and started purring. “Ohhh yes, my lady. I could get used to this.” 

“It was nice having you with me all the time, but I still missed you. It wasn’t the same talking to Plagg’s body. I love you, after all. All of you.”

“I love you too, My Lady.” 

She stopped petting him for a minute. “You’re not going to keep wearing terrible outfits, are you?”

“God no.” 

—

The next day, Adrien was brought to school by car. He wore a white shirt, black t-shirt, jeans, and his orange sneakers…and no sunglasses. Upon exiting the car, he spotted his friends talking. 

“NINOOOOOOOO!!!” He shouted as he sprinted. 

Nino only had seconds to brace himself before Adrien launched himself into his arms, wrapping his legs around his waist. “I missed you!”

“Dude you’re back!?”

“In the flesh!” He got down. “Thank you, by the way, for everything you did.” 

“It was nothing! Anything for my dawg,” and he added with a whisper, “and little dude.” 

Plagg peered out and gave him a wink. 

Marinette spoke up. “Why don’t I get a morning greeting like that?”

He kissed her sweetly. “Next time I see you, I’ll leap on you like a majestic monkey.” 

Alya squealed. “Is it official then?! I knew I saw you guys making goo-goo eyes at each other! But every time I mentioned it, Marinette said it was nothing!” 

“Yes Alya, we’re officially dating now.” Marinette wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned against his chest. In return, he rubbed her shoulders and leaned his head against hers. Now that she had gotten a taste of being close to him, she never wanted it to stop. Even if it was obnoxious to everyone around her, she was home. 

“Hey, has Lila been talking to anybody since yesterday?” Alya winced. “I mean, that whole thing was totally bonkers. I just wanted to get some answers.” 

“Yeah, no. She’s super gone. She stabbed me, so she left Paris.” 

The collective paling of faces made him realize he left out some details. 

“SHE WHAT!?” 

“I got better.”

--

This is officially the end! Thank you for reading!!

[vintagedolan]

mixtape | track nine

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

Eden arrived in New York in the biggest coat she could find in a store in Los Angeles, which came equipped with a furry hood and enough stuffing in it to make her resemble the michelin man when she climbed into the car. 

She leaned back against the headrest of the seat with a sigh, an iced coffee in each hand. Her eyes closed for a minute, like she was trying to find her inner peace, and then she sat up and passed a cup to Indy in the driver’s seat.

“Vanilla, oatmilk right?”

“Always,” Indy laughed, taking a sip before putting it in the cupholder. “So uh, I love you and all, but are you finally gonna tell me why you changed your flight and made it so much earlier?”

“Drive to your place, and I’ll explain.”

Eden waited until she got out of the majority of the traffic.

“So, I had my original ticket and I was just gonna rent a car and show up, you know this, we planned it. But then I had the brilliant idea to come early and kidnap you,” she grinned, sipping her coffee.

“You’re kidnapping me?”

“Kinda. Well, reverse kidnapping I guess cause I’m forcing you to host me. You told the boys you were Christmas shopping like I said right? So you’re clear for a few hours?”

“Yeah.”

“Well good, cause we’re having a girls moment, because you need me.”

“I need you?” Indy laughed. She could never imagine possessing the confidence that Eden manifested every day, but she hoped one day she could have a fraction of it. 

“Yeah, because you’re surrounded by Dolan twins, not Dolan twins girlfriends. And I’m sure neither of them have shut the fuck up about everything going on, right?”

Indy sighed, which Eden took as a yes. The two had been talking more and more, but especially since the absolute blow up on social media. Eden had been the first one to text her that day with a simple message.

Been there, I know how much it sucks but it’ll pass. Call me later when you’re up for it

Indy hadn’t called. She didn’t want to be a burden, didn’t want Eden to think she was weak. Instead she’d gone onto Eden’s instagram, tried to see how she handled things, and from the first few scrolls on her feed it was blatantly obvious that she didn’t give a shit. Just a few weeks prior she’d posted a picture of her and Ethan in the mirror dressed up for a date, his hand fully grabbing her ass with the caption miss you bby. Indy scrolled the comments, blood boiling at some of the shit people said to her. She wondered if she’d ever get to the point where she could even stand to reopen her own instagram, much less post with reckless abandon. 

“We love men who think they know what it’s like to be a woman,” she teased, shaking her head as they continued down the road. “They’ve got such a protection complex, both of them, but Gray especially. Don’t get me wrong, I love it most of the time. Actually, it’s kinda hot. But holy shit does it get annoying when they underestimate you.”

Indy had experienced it first hand in the last week, and she couldn’t disagree. It was like she was on lockdown. Gone were the days of Grayson meeting her in the lobby of the building, or waiting for her outside of Jets. When he came to her apartment he was in sunglasses and a beanie, sometimes even a scarf pulled up over his mouth in an attempt to hide from any cameras he couldn’t see. He relaxed marginally when he got inside, but the only time he really seemed to catch his breath was when the sun set and they were tangled in each other’s arms, or when they were off the interstate on the back roads to Jersey. His shoulders would sink a bit, and his grip on her hand would relax when they took the exit. Something about the trees, still coated in snow, made him feel safer, made him feel like he could protect her somehow. 

It felt like a breath of fresh air to walk into her lobby with someone by her side. There were no cameras, but Eden wouldn’t have cared even if there was. She held her hand and walked in as if she’d done it a thousand times, though she had to wait for Indy to hit the right elevator button. 

When they got inside the apartment, Eden plopped herself down on the couch with a smile and patted the cushion beside her. 

“Alright, spill. Give me all the details, how’s it been going?”

Indy started to talk, and then she couldn’t stop. It spilled out of her like water, every single thing that had happened since her graduation date. Eden listened intently to each detail, from the way they’d changed their walking path to the hospital to the fact that he was looking into a new paint job for the truck to make it less recognizable. 

“And he’s just so paranoid, and I mean I guess I am too in a way, cause I like my privacy too. But it’s like he thinks I’ll die if a picture of me gets out or something, like damn, I’m a little sensitive sometimes but I’m not that fucking fragile.”

“You should have seen Ethan when the pregnancy rumors started for me. One big lunch at Monty’s later and all of a sudden I’m 3 months pregnant and I don’t know which twin’s it is,” she rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee through her straw with a smile.

“No fucking way.”

“I thought he was going to actually murder the dude from Hollywood Fix for that one. We burned through two Relax candles that week. Wild.”

“Jesus christ.”

“But hey, you already got the engagement rumor out of the way, so pregnancy is probably next. To be safe though, never even look in the window of a wedding dress store, and definitely don’t go to the baby section anywhere.”

Eden said it all so casually, as if making sure to avert your eyes from a wedding dress in a window was a totally normal thing to do. Indiana’s breathing picked up at her words, afraid that somehow she’d accidentally start a rumor about herself that would come back to bite Grayson.

“Isn’t that exhausting though? Being worried about that shit all the time?”

“You get used to it, and you adapt. Like the topaz ring for Lisa. That’s from Ethan and Grayson together, but they decided to send Gray in because if Ethan got spotted in a ring shop there would be an article about our secret wedding on DailyMail next week. Of course, that plan didn’t work out for Gray so well either, as we now know. Why the fuck he didn’t think about that is beyond me, but whatever,” she laughed. 

“No one was supposed to know about me,” Indy said, and her words didn’t resonate until they hung in the air. Was that what it was? The sudden shift in him being so damn worried about someone possibly seeing them together? It made her palms sweaty and she rubbed them on her pants before she spoke again.

“When did Ethan get over it?”

Eden scoffed. “He’s not over it. Still makes him want to lose his mind when someone says some shit about me. He broke a knuckle last year punching a wall cause a news outlet got pictures of me in a bikini while we were in Hawaii and said I’d gained weight.”

“That’s… absolutely fucked Eden, I’m fucking sorry.”

“I put it on my instagram story and laughed it off.” She shrugged her shoulders, as most women do when they have to accept unsolicited opinions from strangers. But something about the confidence she exuded when she said it made Indy believe that, somehow, she really had just brushed it off for the most part. 

“Is it hard to do that? Laugh it off?”

“Sometimes.” She sat up, getting more serious as she looked at Indiana. “But here’s the thing babes. Someone is sitting in an office somewhere, probably in their little house, with a bunch of clutter on their desk writing shitty articles about me. Meanwhile, I’m living in a nice ass house in LA with my hot ass boyfriend who bought me that bikini and took me to Hawaii. So who's actually winning?

“People talk shit about you when they wish they were you, that’s just how the world works. It’s shit, but once you accept that it changes your perspective on a lot of things. I mean honestly Indy, who gives a fuck what dolantea with 7 a’s the end has to say on instagram when you have Grayson fucking Dolan in your bed every night?” She raised her eyebrows, happy to see the smile she got out of Indy. “And if you ever tell him I said that I’ll put Nair in your shampoo.”

“My lips are sealed,” Indy teased, suddenly filled with a boost of confidence. “You have a very interesting perspective on the world Eden, I like it.”

“Coming from the college grad, I take that as a major compliment.”

“Believe me, there’s plenty of dumb people with college degrees. Doesn’t mean much at the end of the day.”

“But it gets you into a career that means something,” she mused. “I mean, being a doctor is a big deal, you’ll help a lot of people.”

Indy chewed on her lip. Every intrusive thought she’d had in the last few days that didn’t revolve around Twitter had to do with her imagining herself as a doctor, but it always faded into something else. It was her at a patient’s bedside, her helping them get to their feet, her sending them home with their family. Things that nurses did, not doctors. 

“Yeah. I hope so,” was all she could say. 

“That wasn’t very Indy of you.”

She quirked an eyebrow at Eden and waited for an explanation.

“You always keep a convo going, and you let that one drop, which means you probably don’t want to talk about it. But I’ll listen if you want to get it off your chest.”

“I don’t know… it’s just. The more I think about it, the more I realize that maybe being a doctor isn’t exactly what I thought it would be.”

“Oh. Well, then don’t be a doctor.”

It was Indy’s turn to scoff. “It’s not that simple Eden.”

“Isn’t it though?”

Indiana couldn’t come up with an answer. So instead, after the silence became too much, she deflected, making Eden walk her through the plans for the day.

A few hours later, once they’d gotten ready, they headed out to Jersey for the early birthday surprise, which Lisa was in on. She had ordered a massive vegan cake from one of the bakeries in New York that Indy picked up on the way, making Eden hold it for the majority of the ride. But when they got to the start of the driveway, she pulled over and had her counterpart climb into the trunk of the SUV, sticking a shiny blue gift bow on top of her head while she held one hand on the cake box to keep it steady.

Grayson appeared on the porch at the sound of the gravel crunching, cocking his head to the side when he noticed that Indy was backing in. He jogged up to the window when she put it in park, waiting for her to roll it down so he could lean in to kiss her. She hummed and smiled at him.

“Happy Birthday.”

“It’d be happier if you were out here,” he mused, leaning back to pull on the door handle, frowning when he realized it was still locked. 

“Go get Ethan for me, tell him I need help getting the cake out of the trunk.”

Grayson turned to do as she asked before he did a double-take at the very cake shaped box in the passenger seat.

“But…”

Indy repeated her sentence with a tight smile, but he still just frowned.

“Is that not the cake? Mom let it slip that she ordered one, I can just get it, cause Ethan is grumpy.”

“BITCH JUST GO GET HIM.”

Eden’s yell was so loud that Grayson jumped, putting a protective hand on Indy’s shoulder, though he didn’t know what he was protecting her from until he peeked into the car.

“Oh thank god,” he laughed at the sight of her, half hidden by the back row of seats. “He’s been moping for like three days!”

“Oh believe me, I know. Now go get him, I’m getting a fucking leg cramp back here.” 

Gray grinned, already feeling his brother’s happiness somehow as he bounded into the house, yelling incessantly until Ethan finally came trudging down the stairs, muttering profanities as he stepped out into the New Jersey cold.

“Bro, be nice, Indy worked really hard to make this birthday nice for both of us, even if Eden couldn’t be here. Just help me carry the cake,” Grayson said, doing his best to keep his voice steady.

Ethan took a deep breath and nodded.

“Dee, open the trunk babe!” Gray called, having to turn away to hide his grin. But he looked back quickly, not wanting to miss his brother’s face when the door lifted and revealed his girlfriend, sitting adorably with a bow on her head. 

Ethan just stared for a moment, mouth hanging open so wide that it made Indy laugh as she watched in the rear view mirror.

“You little shit!” He finally said, closing the distance and pulling her into his arms and out of the car, spinning her around for a moment before peppering kisses all over her face. It was like he couldn’t let go. Every time he went to pull back he caught sight of her face again and pulled her back against him until they were both shivering out in the cold, wind whipping at their exposed hands and ankles.

Grayson helped Indy out of the car, warming her lips with a welcoming kiss before they moved to unpack the car, letting the lovebirds have their moment. Lisa greeted her as soon as she made it in the door and sat the gifts down, her hair smelling like she’d just put on hairspray. Eden and Ethan trailed in moments later hand in hand, with Ethan yelling about how Li had been in on it the whole time.

In terms of birthdays, it was a chilled out evening. The twins birthday used to be a huge event, full of laughter and excitement. Now, there was a blanket over the scene, a silent understanding that one person was missing from the table - one who should have been a year older just a few days prior. But they made the most of their time together, eating the cake first gathered around the table before moving into the living room and starting on presents. 

Grayson kept a hand on Indy’s knee unless he was unwrapping, looking over at her with a warm smile any time that he could. Lisa’s gifts were first - new sweaters, Ethan’s red and Grayson’s green, a bottle of shampoo each, specific to their hair texture. They gave each other such an incredulous look that Eden and Indy couldn’t help but laugh, only growing louder when Lisa leaned over to smack their heads lightly. They got individual gifts too - a new helmet for Ethan for his longboarding trips and a nice drill that Grayson had asked for. They both stood up to kiss her cheek in thanks before they settled back down to open gifts.

Indy was let in on the tradition that Ethan always opened first because he was older, and she was more than happy to lean on Grayson and watch his brother open his gifts. He started with Eden’s, eyebrows shooting up when he pulled out an odd arrangement of things. A bottle of sparkling cider, sunscreen and a pair of swim trunks that were adorned with a pattern made of a picture of Gizmo. He checked the bag for anything else before looking back at Eden and waiting.

“Read the bottle.”

He held it up to his face, reading aloud. “Passionfruit Cider. Made and bottled on Maui. Oh shit. Oh SHIT! Are we going back to Maui?”

“We’re going in March cause that’s the only time when I could put two weeks together where we both don’t have work.”

Indy sunk down even further despite already being on the floor while they celebrated. She looked at the tiny box she’d brought for him, wanting to reach out and hide it behind her back.  

She didn’t get the chance to, because Ethan had already grabbed it, reading the tag. 

“Indiana you didn’t need to get me anything,” he said, and his sincerity made her feel a fraction better.

“Well, it’s no trip to Hawaii, so don’t get too excited. And your mom helped.”

He unwrapped the box carefully, opening the lid and staring down for a moment. 

“It’s a key,” he murmured, reaching in and pulling out the necklace, a silver key which sat on a matching chain horizontally.

“It’s a copy of the key to your house here, but as a necklace. I know you really miss home while you’re gone, and you wear necklaces sometimes, so I thought I could make you a little reminder.”

“You made this?” He looked up at you with wide eyes.

“Yeah! It’s not much, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it's perfect Inds. Seriously, I love it, thank you so much.” 

Indy blushed anyways, not really believing his words but trying to accept them as he leaned over to hug her, grateful for the change of subject when it was announced that it was Grayson’s turn. 

He started with Eden’s, smiling wide at the tool belt that he pulled out, yelling when he realized it was customized with his name on the side.

“You can use that to build that side table you keep telling me you’re gonna make me,” Eden teased, which devolved into a moment of playful bickering. Indy used the time to line up the boxes in the right order, biting her lip when she handed him the first one.

“That’s way too many gifts,” Grayson said, frowning at her a bit.

“It’s really just one, it’s like a - well they go together - just, just open it.”

He did as she asked, pulling the paper off and unboxing the first one.

“A fucking nutcracker! Fuck yes!” He yelled, starting to look at it a bit closer. “Wait. WAIT. Is this Cudi?” 

“What!?” Ethan piped up before Indy could even answer.

“Bro it looks like Man On The Moon End of The Day cover, look at the fucking colors, and the moon.” He pointed to specific parts on the body of the doll, showing his brother who leaned over his shoulder.

“Open the next one,” Indy laughed, passing him the box.

He was quicker with that one, yelling so loud that Gizmo started to yell in the kitchen as he recognized the album art from Man On The Moon II, all tans, blacks and stars. 

“Holy fucking shit these are so fucking cool! Give me the next one, holy fuck.”

Indy passed them along, laughing when each reaction was just as dramatic as the first. The Indicudi was Indy’s favorite, with the mixture of reds and oranges. The collection started to take shape as he sat them out next to one another, adding the simplistic Satellite Flight nutcracker next, followed by the neutrals of Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven. Passion Pain and Demon Slayin’ matched well with the bright colors of Man On The Moon III, and Grayson was so excited by the end of the six that he had to stand up and run a lap before he came back and pulled Indy to her feet. 

“You like them?”

“You got me Cudi’s discography in fucking nutcracker form. I fucking love it, and I fucking love you.” He kissed her like no one was in the room, her heartbeat so loud in her ears that she didn’t even hear Lisa’s ‘awe’ from behind them.  

“I love you too,” she murmured against him, letting him hold her for a minute before he dropped back down to his knees to look at the collection, dissecting every detail like a six year old with a brand new toy. 

Ethan was just as enthralled, and she wished she could be as chilled out as Eden seemed as she sat and watched them. But instead, she was running numbers in her head, trying to calculate how much a trip to Maui for two would cost with airfare and lodging put together. 

She’d thought she’d gone overboard with the $300 collection of nutcrackers. For her, it was anyways - she’d timed her showers for two weeks and left them lukewarm in an attempt to save some money on her utility bill to justify it. Her mind spun for a moment as she thought about the little stack of Christmas presents hidden under her bed. A sweater for Lisa, a roll of film for Charlie to go with the new camera Dev was buying her. Fuzzy socks and a candle each for Eden and Cam that she’d found on a good sale. The thought of them sitting next to big extravagant gifts she was sure would arrive on the 25th made her deflate, so much that Grayson sensed it enough to pull himself away from his new toys.

“Hey, where’d you go?”

“I’m here,” she said, giving him a smile that didn’t make it to her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was have him worried about her on a day that was supposed to be about him. He returned one in hopes it would lighten her mood, but he knew not to push it. In fact, he didn’t bring it up until they were back at Indy’s apartment, in their pajamas after eating extra cake that Lisa had sent home with them. 

“Did you have a good birthday?” Indy asked, tracing H-A-P-P-Y-B-D-A-Y on his chest.

“I did. Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah! Yeah, it was good. But today was for you, it doesn’t really matter what kind of day I had.”

“It always matters what kind of day you had,” he countered. “You seemed kinda upset when we were giving presents.” 

“Oh, yeah, it was no big deal. I just didn’t feel like I got you guys enough stuff. 21 is a big birthday.”

He leaned back enough so he could see her face, frowning down at her. 

“First off, it’s only a big birthday because you can drink, which doesn’t matter to me. Second, you gave us both more than enough, I have no idea why you think that.”

“Eden got Ethan a trip to fucking Maui.”

“And?”

“I got him a key. On a chain.” 

“Which is probably the most thoughtful gift he’s gotten in a really long time.” 

“It cost $20.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you can buy people whatever you want.”

“We’re just in different life stages,” he said. “You’ll be making bank once you’re out of school, you just have to get to that point. And even then, it doesn’t matter what you buy people for gifts. They only care that you’re there with them.”

Indy resisted the urge to repeat her words back to him again. She didn’t really expect him to understand where she was coming from.

“Yeah, I hope so.” She ran her hands down over his ribs under the covers, smiling when she felt him sigh under her. “By the time I pay off my loans Ethan and Eden will probably have three kids, you’ll have to spot us for all the baby shower presents.”

It was Grayson’s turn to fall quiet. He could see it - see Indy in a little pink sundress out in their LA backyard, celebrating a new baby on the way, talking with Eden and Lisa, helping Adele organize tables. And he wanted it. But he held her in his arms and thought about all that would come for her before that time came, and his heart tightened in his chest when he realized that he wouldn’t be there to see it.

“Tell me about school.”

She sat up a bit, running her hands through his hair.

“That’s what you wanna do with the last hour of your birthday? Hear about school?” 

“Yeah. Just wanna hear you talking to me,” he said, ignoring the tightness in his throat. 

She did as he asked, talked about the classes she had left and what order she’d have to take them in, the application process, the in’s and out’s of medical school as he tried to memorize every inflection of her voice, her laugh, and the feeling of her pressed up against him. 

When they woke up, it seemed that the holiday season had fully taken hold overnight. Suddenly, the days were flying by in blurs of Christmas lights and shopping. The pair were together 24/7, attached at the hip every moment that they could get away with. When Grayson was recording the podcast, Indy was just out of sight on the floor listening. While Indy was clearing out her laptop from the semester, Grayson was sitting behind her on the bed braiding her hair. Before they knew it they were trying to fit Bekah’s presents, and the cookies they made for the nurses into an already packed backseat of the truck on Christmas Eve.

A blanket of snow still rested in the city, muffling the city sounds it seemed as they drove. They were bundled up enough that Grayson wasn’t worried about them being recognized in the short walk to the hospital, and they shed their layers once they were inside the warm walls. They took the elevator, not minding the slow climb up to Bekah’s floor. But when they got to the desk to sign in, the nurses looked weary. Indy chucked it up to having to work the holiday and hoped that the cookies would lift their spirits when she left them on the counter. 

Bekah’s room had a small tree in the corner, covered in colorful lights and generic silver and red ornaments that were identical to those in every other room of the hospital. Bekah hardly reacted when she saw the duo enter in, though she tried. She sat up as much as she could but ended up back flat on her bed. 

“Hey Beks, hold on, let me help.” Indy rushed over to her side, fumbling for the buttons to raise the back of her bed up so she could sit up and see the room. Grayson held up her stack of presents with his biggest smile, the one Indy loved where he would clench his teeth. Bekah lit up, grinning wide at the two of them. Her skin was pale, and they could tell that she’d lost weight, but her smile was just the same. 

“Earrings, you double as Santa on the weekends or something? They already give the sick kids pity presents, you didn’t have to go so hard.” 

“These are from Indy actually,” Grayson said. Indy bit her tongue. She’d picked them out, but Grayson had footed the bill.

“They’re from both of us,” she corrected. “You feel good enough to open them now?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.” 

And she was good. But she wasn’t great. Just unwrapping the boxes seemed to zap out the small energy store she had left. Indy wished she’d had the foresight to package them in bags instead of boxes, make it a bit easier for her to open. But the excitement was enough for her to make it through opening the new Christmas blanket, which was covered in cats and dogs in festive sweaters, a Harry Styles crewneck and new fuzzy socks. The last box was an Among Us shirt, with a little purple crewmate peeking out of the pocket - Bekah was notorious for how many hours she spent playing (Gray and Indy would sometimes hop on and play a few games with her when they weren’t there). 

“You guys are the best,” she said, letting the pile of presents rest on her bed. She yawned, so hard she leaned back and her beanie slipped off her smooth head. Grayson watched as she reached for it and winced, and suddenly he was watching his dad there in the bed, trying to get to his phone on the bedside table, wincing in pain. His breath caught in his chest and he blinked hard, trying to come back to reality.

And then Bekah closed her eyes, and laid perfectly still. It was quiet in the room for a moment, and a wave of nausea rose in Grayson, so strong that he raised his hand up to his mouth.

“Beks?” He choked out.

“She’s okay, she’s okay.” Indy rushed to reassurances. “Look, look at her monitor.”

The blips on the heart monitor line meant much more to Indy than they did to Grayson, but he recognized them enough to catch his breath.

“Sometimes, when someone is exhausted like that, they lapse in consciousness for a little while. It’s a defense mechanism, she’s okay.”

“For a second I thought - fuck,” he huffed, running his hand over his face. Indy moved beside him, taking his hand in hers and kissing his knuckles one by one.

“What the fuck.”

They both turned to the bed, where Bekah’s eyes were open again. But they were unfamiliar somehow, none of that usual Bekah charm that warmed the dark pools of brown in sight. 

“Bekah-” Indy tried, but she was cut off.

“You two are dating? Seriously? What is this, community service date night?”

“Beks-” Grayson spoke up.

“I never ask for much, but fuck you two. Fuck you.”

“Bekah, hey.” Indy took a step towards her bed, and Bekah recoiled.

“I try. I try really fucking hard not to think about how fucked up and shitty my life is. I’m 15, and I’m dying. I’m never gonna go back to school. No prom, no graduation, no wedding. Not even a fucking boyfriend before I die and everyone forgets me. The least you could do is not rub it in my fucking face.” 

“Bekah, you can’t think like that. You’re gonna get better, you’re gonna get all those things,” Grayson said, blinking through the tears that had formed without warning in his eyes. They fell down his cheeks in uneven droplets, hot and unfamiliar. 

“Yeah? Just like Emma was gonna get better right? Well, her funeral was last week. She’s never going to play hide and seek again, much less anything else. What about Damion from my last radiation rotation hmm? God was gonna come down and heal him too right? Then why is he dead, huh? Where’s God in all this? Where’s my fucking happy ending? I’m gonna get the inside of a box, that’s what I’m gonna get, and no one will fucking admit it because I’m a kid, and I’m supposed to be here longer than this! I’m supposed to have more time! I’m supposed to get to do stupid shit in college, and grow up, and find my person but no. I’m never going to get those things, so fuck you both for throwing it in my face.”

“Bekah-” Indy’s voice broke on the word.

“Get out. Both of you, out.”

“Bekah please.”

“OUT!”

Her yell was loud enough to alert a passing nurse in the hallway, and she stepped inside.

“You two need to step out of the room please.”

The sobs didn’t take hold until they were in the hallway. They ripped out of Indy without warning or grace, and Grayson did all he could to hold her pieces together as she started to shatter. 

“Shhh, Dee, hey, it’s okay, let’s go outside,” Grayson tried to comfort her through his own tears, leading her towards the doors.

A hand caught his shoulder and he turned his head to see Jessica in her scrubs, coming out of another patient’s room.

“What did she say?”

Indy perked up from where her face had been buried. 

“What did Bekah say?” She asked again

“She’s agitated, talking about how her life is being cut short, how she’s dying. She told us to leave.”

Jessica sighed, looking down at her shoes. 

“We’re on our last resort. A final round of chemo and radiation. If this doesn’t work, we’re out of options. And it’s going to be brutal, it’s spread to her brain. You’ll have to be patient with her, she’s probably going to go through some personality shifts. She’ll be more emotional, more irritable. Sometimes she might be disoriented. This type of cancer, when it’s in the brain, it’s unpredictable. One minute she could be fine, the next she could be completely unrecognizable. Give her a few days, wait until after the holidays when everything is back to routine, and give it another try okay? Hopefully it’s better when things are a bit more normal.”

“Yeah,” Indy sniffled. Jessica put a hand on her shoulder.

“Indiana her face lights up when you two walk in that room. She talks about you guys non stop when you aren’t here. She’ll come around from whatever it was, okay? Just give her some time. We’ll be here to take care of her, don’t you worry.”

Indy wasn’t sure why, but she pulled Jessica into a hug. The woman was surprised, but she reciprocated anyways with a squeeze. 

“Sweet girl. It’ll be okay,” she murmured, which only made the tears flow even more when she let go. 

Indiana transferred from one set of arms to the other, back into Grayson’s strong grip which only loosened when he pressed the button for the doors. When they made it to the ocean hallway, it all hit at once, and her legs gave out. She caught herself on the support bars as Grayson lowered her to the ground. They came in waves that she couldn’t control, not for want of trying. 

“I’m s-s-sorry,” she stuttered, trying to force air into her lungs. Someone down the hall pulled a door closed quietly. 

“It’s okay, hey, it’s okay. Breathe baby, just breathe,” Grayson murmured, running his thumbs under her eyes to try and wipe her mascara, which was running down her red cheeks in dark streaks. He waited until she was able to take a few solid breaths before he spoke again. 

“C’mon, let’s go to Jersey. I’ll take you to Jersey.” 

She put most of her weight on him while they took the stairs out into the cold streets. It had begun to snow again, and the cold only added to the stinging in her eyes as he led her to the truck. She wondered in that moment how many times he’d had to hold her together, and her stomach twisted in guilt for a moment at the thought. Even still, she huddled into Grayson until he opened her door for her, immediately moving over as close to him as she could, pushing the middle console up to make it a bench seat and scooting to the middle when he climbed in.

His Dad had once told him it was important to be a confident one handed driver - you never knew what you’d have to hold in your passenger seat, he’d said. At the time, he was referring to the four large pizzas that ended up leaving a permanent grease mark in his jeep seat. But Grayson was thankful for the advice as he maneuvered the car out of the spot and out of the parking garage with an arm still around his girl.

The roads were quiet, and he questioned it until he remembered that it was in fact Christmas Eve. He slowed down when they got to the Jersey neighborhoods, looked at all the lights, all the families he could see in the windows, huddled around their bright trees. He could remember those nights like they were yesterday, him and Ethan sneaking to the top of the stairs to try to catch a glimpse at the big man with the red sack. When they were five they’d seen him and ran to wake their sister. They’d all watched in amazement as he placed presents under the tree and ate the cookies they’d left.

He’d found the santa suit in a box in his dad’s closet when they went through his things after his funeral. 

“Does your family have any Christmas traditions?” He asked quietly, running his arm quickly over Indiana’s arm in a bid to keep her warm as he drove. The cool wind that was whipping the snow around seemed to be outrunning the heater in the truck. 

“We did. We would watch Elf the night before, cause it was mom’s favorite. We did the cookies, the stockings, all that stuff too. But we always had grilled cheese and soup for dinner too.”

“Grilled cheese and soup?”

“Yeah. That was mom’s idea too. She always said we could leave extra room for a good Christmas morning breakfast if we ate grilled cheese and soup. So we always ended up in the living room with our plates and bowls and Christmas PJs watching elf. Turns out, warm soup was always her trick to get us to go to sleep early. Made me and Charlie tired I guess. She told me it worked like a charm every time. What do the Dolan’s do?”

“Ours is more Christmas morning. We do the whole giant breakfast thing. We open stockings first, and Santa presents, then we do breakfast and then we do the rest of the presents. Used to drive us crazy when we were little, cause all the presents would just be waiting for us. But Mom said it was so we were grateful for our food too, cause it was a gift that we had it on our table at all.” 

“Li is a good mom,” Indy sighed, resting her cheek on his shoulder. Her eyes were tired, the kind where your eyelids feel like they weigh ten pounds a piece, but she fought with them and won, still awake when they made it to the house. She hopped out and moved to the backseat, but Grayson caught her.

“I’ll carry the stuff in. Go get cleaned up, take a hot shower and relax. Mom will be worried, she always knows when someone has been crying, it’s like a sixth fucking sense.” 

For once, Indy didn’t argue. Instead, she went in the house as quietly as she could, grateful that even Gizmo didn’t seem to note her arrival. She snuck up the stairs to Grayson’s closet, grabbing an old thick flannel and a sports bra that she’d left, plus some sweatpants, considering she’d left her bag in the truck.

She had never been so thankful for a shower. She lost track of how long she let the warm water wash over her head, closing her eyes and focusing on the feeling of the stream against her skin. It was peaceful, but surreal in a way. She thought about where she’d imagined herself on Christmas Eve night at the beginning of the year, and it looked so vastly different than where she was, on the cold tiles of a New Jersey shower with her boyfriend carrying in gifts downstairs. The thought of him waiting for her gave her enough motivation to get cleaned up, though she had to resort to using Grayson’s shampoo and bodywash, which was an unlabeled Wakeheart sample he’d been testing out it seemed. It smelled fresh, with a vanilla mixture that was reminiscent of Jet’s.

Indiana was in higher spirits when she sauntered down the stairs, and her heart swelled a few sizes when she heard a familiar song in the background - the title screen of Elf, waiting on the TV in the living room. She checked rooms until she found Grayson, standing in front of the stove with two pots and a skillet going. She didn’t have to ask. Instead, she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. 

He spun around, spatula in hand until they were chest to chest as he watched the stove over her head, holding her close to make sure she didn’t get burnt. He nuzzled into her wet hair, and then sniffed harder.

“You smell like me,” he noted.

“Had to use your stuff. I like that body wash though, which one is that?”

“Can’t remember. Let me see.” He reached around and caught her arm, smelling her skin.

“Ah. That’s Polis.” 

She looked up at him. 

“Polis? Like… Poland?”

He chuckled against her, flipping over a grilled cheese.

“Polis as in the end of Indianapolis. A smell that makes you seem put together and professional with a sweet note at the end. Vanilla. Like your lattes.”

As he often seemed to, he rendered her speechless enough that all she could do was press a kiss to his chest and wrap her arms around him, under his sweatshirt to trace on his back.

L-O-V-E-Y-O-U

He kissed the top of her head and stirred the soup. 

Ten minutes later and they were cozied up on a makeshift palette on the floor under a few blankets, with soup and sandwiches in hand. Grayson had made himself three vegan grilled cheese and tomato soup, and caved and given Indy the last can of chicken noodle in the cabinet because he knew it was her favorite even if it wasn’t vegan, though her grilled cheese was vegan as well. They watched Elf play, laughing and noting all the familiar NY scenery. Indy swore the man in the red jumpsuit had come into Jet’s before. They sipped their soup out of the bowl, and Indy listened to Grayson talk about the cinematography, trying to follow all that he was saying. 

Once the bowls and plates were sat aside, they found themselves wrapped in each other’s arms, and Nicole’s old trick seemed to work, considering Indy was asleep before the end credits. Grayson carried her upstairs and put her to bed before going back down to clean up.

Though he tried to get into bed without waking her up again, he didn’t quite manage it, his weight moving the mattress just enough for her to stir and open her eyes. 

“Sorry baby, it’s just me. You fell asleep.”

“Hmmm. C’mere,” she murmured, opening up her arms. He laughed, knowing that if he laid on her the way she was asking that he’d press all the air out of her lungs. Instead, he pulled her on top of him and slotted their legs together, revealing in the feeling of their skin pressed together. She was warm for once since she’d been under the covers, and he hoped his fingers weren’t cold as he began to trace patterns against her back. 

“I love you,” she hummed, tracing a swirl over his ribs lazily.

“I love you too.”

“Forever.”

“Hmm?” He asked.

“I’m going to love you forever. I can feel it. I’m yours forever Grayson Dolan, and don’t you forget it.”

He pressed a kiss to her head and felt her finger against his ribs. F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

“I’ll love you forever too Indy. Forever.”

The tears returned.

------------------------------------------

Grayson was the first up the next morning, after a restless night of sleep - or so he thought. Lisa was in the kitchen, watching the snow continue to fall outside. It coated the trees outside and muffled the woods in a blanket of white. Lisa turned to greet her son, and frowned. 

“Have you been crying?”

He hadn’t shed a tear since the night before, but he should have known she would know. A mother always does.

“Just some stuff with Bekah. She’s not doing well, and I feel bad cause I won’t see her again until next time we come visit after we leave.”

“You can always call, and she’ll have Indy. She’ll be okay love.” She stood and ruffled his hair as she passed, headed to pour him a cup of coffee.

“It’s not as good as Indy’s, but it’ll do,” she smiled, rubbing her hand over his shoulder. They sipped in silence for a moment as the world woke up.

“Do you remember the year Dad dressed up for Christmas? When we were five?”

“Oh yeah. That was your Poppy John’s idea, he did it for Sean when he was little. Said it made him believe in Santa for a few more years. Your dad wanted to keep you guys kids as long as he could, and he knew Cameron was going to figure it out sooner than later. He also knew you two would be spying. You tried it when you were four, but you both fell asleep on the stairs before you could see any action. He told you Santa must have carried you to bed when you woke up that morning.” 

“Holy shit, I remember that.” He paused for a moment, reflecting. “You all always went all out for us on the holidays, I never really thought about it. Thanks.”

Lisa smiled the warm smile that only mom’s could really give, and patted his hand on the table. “I just hope you’ll do the same for your kids one day. I know you will.” She paused for a moment, and then she smiled. “You remember what he told us, on that last Christmas? About what he was gonna do?”

Grayson could hear his father’s voice in his head for a moment, and it made his throat tight.

“Yeah. Said he’d give us white Christmases for the rest of our lives if he could.”

Lisa lifted her mug towards the windows.

“Merry Christmas Sean.” Her words hung in the air, and Grayson swallowed the lump in his throat, watching the snow fall. 

Eventually he went back to bed to coax Indy awake about an hour later, smiling at her bedhead when she rolled over.

“Merry Christmas Dee,” he said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. Her eyes widened a bit quicker than normal.

“It’s Christmas!”

“Yep,” Grayson laughed, brushing her hair out of her face. She caught his hand and pulled him down over top of her, the covers wedged between them as she kissed him.

“Merry Christmas,” she said against his lips, and he melted into her. He couldn’t think of how many Christmas morning’s he’d woke up wishing to have someone there with him. It brought a new kind of excitement that quieted his mind for the time being, and he happily scooped her up and sat her on her feet so they could go wake up the other duo of the house. 

By the time they convinced E squared to arise - which took jumping on the bed, a promise of lattes and the threat of cold water - Lisa was already halfway done with breakfast.

Grayson hadn’t exaggerated - there was a huge assortment of fruit, pastries and coffee to get everyone started. 

“Stockings first! Well, coffee, then stockings!” Lisa clapped her hands and passed out mugs. Indy channeled her Jet’s days to make the lattes quickly, funneling in behind everyone as they headed to the fireplace to grab their stockings.

She melted when she noticed the I. 

“Lisa, you didn’t need to do that.”

“Oh hush. Okay red E is Ethan, white E is Eden…” she trailed off as she passed them out, slightly confused when she watched Ethan reach underneath the tree to pull out a stocking for his mom that the boys had filled. 

Indy was let in on the stocking tradition when she opened it. Everyone got essentials - a new toothbrush, socks, chapstick, lotion. She also threw in each person’s favorite candy and a giftcard to a local ice cream shop in town with vegan options. Lisa’s stocking was more extravagant, with some of her favorite high-end hair products, a certificate for a free massage, and lots of bath bombs that were Wakeheart testers. She hugged her boys necks when they all stood up, up on her tiptoes so she could reach. Everyone funneled into the kitchen after that, the boys in charge of the vegan meat options while Indy and Eden helped with the biscuits and cinnamon rolls. They ate around a full table, laughing and telling stories of Christmas. Eden won the most interesting story with one about her holiday with her extended family back in the Philippines, in which they’d spent Christmas using buckets to get water out of the house from a monsoon that had made landfall, a rarity for that late in the year. 

Time seemed to fast forward as they moved to open presents. The boys spoiled Lisa, as they always did. A new iPhone, expensive tennis shoes to help her back while she worked. New signs for the garden beds that Grayson built and Ethan painted, a canvas print of the picture Charlie had taken from Thanksgiving. They saved the topaz ring for last, knowing it would make her cry. Her tears were enough to get Ethan’s eyes prickling - forever the mama’s boy, who just hugged her while she let it out, Grayson joining in a few moments later. She opened her sweater from Indy, complimenting the color, and a new set of Airpods from Eden, seeing that she’d lost her first set. 

They moved on to Eden next. She also got a new phone from Ethan, which she smacked his arm for buying considering she knew how expensive they were, ignoring the fact that her phone barely held 20 minutes of battery anymore. Grayson got her a new sketchbook with a set of top line pencils and markers for her to sketch out her work designs, and Indy bought her a pair of Nike’s that she’d had her eyes on. Lisa got her a gift card to her favorite restaurant in LA - a non vegan one that she proposed could be used on a girls date when Lisa came to visit.

Indy was next. She had always hated opening gifts in front of people but she swallowed her un-comfort and proceeded through the boxes. Lisa bought her a nice blow dryer, remembering that she’d complained about hers once and raved about the one that she let Indy borrow. Eden bought her a new outfit - it was a bit out of Indy’s comfort zone, with the patterned pants and bright top, but she hoped she’d be able to pull it off. Both Eden and Gray assured her that she could. Ethan bought her a print of the state of Indiana, laughing at the way she tried to pretend that she loved it. 

“Read the back.” 

She flipped it over, squinting to try to read his messy handwriting that told her to check behind the tree. Sure enough, she found a box with a stethoscope in it. Top of the line, one of the more expensive brands.

“Every doctor needs one of those things, at least that’s what google told me. It’s got your initials on it too, cause apparently people try to steal them.” 

He dismissed her claims that it was too much, and instead urged her to open Graysons gifts. The first was a speaker, because ‘Cudi needs to be played loud and well’, followed by a bag full of clothes. She pulled the first piece out and gasped.

“You bought me scrubs?”

“Yeah. I know you were stressed out about them being expensive, and I knew you’d use them. I bought five sets, I hope that’s enough. And I asked the nurses at Frazier what the best brand was, but if you don’t like those I have the receipt.” 

“I’m sure they’re perfect. Thank you bub, I love them.”

She knew that Grayson had held back, and she was appreciative, especially as they got closer to his gifts. Luckily, Ethan was born first and therefore got first dibs. He got a custom longboard from Eden that she’d designed with all his favorite things, including a thermal painting of a very scandalous picture of her on the bottom that she’s covered with a piece of paper so Lisa didn’t see. Grayson got him an envelope with three tattoo appointments that he’d managed to get with their favorite artist in LA, who was usually booked up for months in advance. Lisa bought him a new jacket and boots, while Indy bought him a pair of headphones designed for the inside of a helmet, so he could listen to music while he skated. 

Grayson was the last to go. Eden got him new sweatshirts since he ‘wore the same ones all the time’, while Lisa bought him a sweater and jacket. Ethan bought him extra organizers for his closet and a minimalistic nutcracker, though he admitted it didn’t stand a chance of taking the spot of one of the Cudi nutcrackers, which stood tall on the mantle. Finally, he opened his bag from Indy, smiling when he pulled out a few things. The first was a journal, made of recycled paper and bound in a dark green cover with his name on the front in gold. The next was a Jet’s gift card, a small inside joke between the two of them. The final one was a picture frame. It was simple, black with flecks of gold along the edges. Within it, the first picture they’d ever taken together, in the mirror of Indy’s room where half his body was covered in her writing, labeled muscles. 

“Can’t lie, I spent most of my budget on your birthday. But I have a matching picture to put on my shelf, so I figured you might like it.”

“I love it,” he reassured her, kissing her cheek quickly, a sweet moment before the bustle of clean up began. The afternoon flew by with movies playing in the background and the snow continuing to fall outside. The boys cleaned off the cars, and after sunset, they appeared with a duffle bag each and a mischievous look on their faces.

“C’mon, we’ve got one more gift to show you guys.” 

Lisa waved goodbye from the front porch as both couples climbed into the truck, the girls in the back.

“Do you know what this is about?” Eden whispered.

“No idea.”

So they waited patiently until they finally put the pieces together - it only clicked when Ethan got out and opened the gate.

The trail looked different from the seat of the truck. Partially because it had been cleared out, but mainly because they weren’t on the back of a quad, with the wind whipping in their faces.

Hidden away in the snow covered clearing, the tiny homes were covered in snow. The lights inside were glowing a warm yellow, inviting them in from the cold. Grayson parked halfway between the two, coming around to get the duffle bag before turning around, a sign for Indy to climb on his back.

She didn’t argue, considering he had the advantage of snow boots over her, and climbed on, hugging onto him tight as he trudged through the snow to the front door. He kicked the snow off his boots on the small front porch and then opened the door, the draft of warm air already enticing. 

The inside was more beautiful than Indy could have imagined it would have been. She remembered trying to visualize it when Grayson had explained where everything would be - it felt like years ago, that warm fall day. But the kitchen was exactly as he had said it would be, minimalistic with dark wood that looked black in the dim light and white cabinets. The stairs were beautifully done, and Indy found herself climbing to the loft to find the queen size bed that awaited them, with the triangular window that looked out over the trees. 

“This is incredible,” she mused, looking down over the balcony at him. He beamed up at her, taking her in. Her skin glowed in the warm light, her hair washed yellow in a beautiful tone as it hung around her shoulders. He found himself kicking off his shoes and climbing the stairs to meet her, abandoning his plan of giving her a full tour in favor of exploring her instead. 

She followed his movement like water in an ancient stream, cut out and formed just for her to flow along, and they ended up on the bed with her back against the soft mattress.

“Are we christening the house?” Her words were muffled by his lips, which were eager and hungry against hers, a feeble attempt to drown out his thoughts. He kissed her incessantly instead of answering, pressing all her buttons to make her melt for him. The heater was small and nestled downstairs, goosebumps rising in the cold air as they lost layer after layer, chasing the heat of each other.

He held her as close to him as he possibly could, blocked out the cold and the doubt as he bit onto her shoulder and rocked her in sync with his hips, watched her head fall back and his name sing from her lips as she came undone over and over again until she was putty in his hands. He came so hard he saw stars, slowing down with her still in his arms.

She was in such a daze that it took her a moment to come to her senses and remember that she needed to go downstairs to pee and get cleaned up. As soon as she was out of his sight, the realization of what he’d just done came crashing down on Grayson. The guilt crushed his lungs as he finally admitted to himself that he knew he was hurting Indy. He knew she deserved to know where his mind was at, where it had been ever since Ethan had brought it up. He’d been selfish, and cruel, and as he sat there naked he’d never felt more ashamed in his life. He scrambled to get his clothes back on before Indy came back up. 

She was still blissful, her legs a bit wobbly as she tried to navigate the unfamiliar stairs. But she frowned when she saw his winter coat. 

“Those aren’t pajamas.”

Grayson jumped at the sound of her voice.

“Yeah, uh, Ethan texted me, he said their heater isn’t working, asked me to come look at it.” 

“Oh. That sucks, you want me to come help? I can hold a flashlight or something,” she offered.

“No, no it’s cold, you just stay here and relax, I’ll be back. Might take a while, but I’ll be back.”

“No promises that I won’t be asleep,” she teased, climbing under the covers. “This bed is better than mine I think.”

“Get some rest, I’ll be back soon.” 

“Okay. I’ll save a spot for you. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He headed down the stairs, slipping his boots on as quickly as he could and choking back his sobs until he was out of the door. He trudged blindly across the yard, only guided by the lights from the windows, and he knocked on the door.

He couldn’t imagine what he looked like when Eden opened the door. But it was bad enough that she didn’t say a word. Instead, she simply turned and called for Ethan, who took one look at him and pulled on his coat, following him out into the snow towards the truck. 

Safe inside the cab and in the presence of his brother, Grayson fell to pieces. Ethan could only remember a handful of times that his brother had cried so hard, and he held him tight in his arms as best be could, shaking with him as the sobs ripped their way out of him. 

Ethan didn’t even attempt to talk, only to console as best he could until Grayson could finally breathe. He pulled the extra inhaler out of the glove box and made his brother take a few puffs when he started to wheeze, holding the canister up to his lips.

“Breathe Gray, c’mon, you’ve gotta breathe so you can talk to me. You gotta tell me what’s wrong so I can help. Hey, I’m right here, it’s me. You can tell me, it’s okay.” 

Grayson finally caught his breath enough to calm down, with his hands gripping onto Ethan’s jacket collar like his life depended on it.

“I’m gonna break her E. I’m gonna destroy her and it’s all my fault. I love her, fuck, I love her. What am I supposed to do?”

Ethan sucked in a long breath through his nose, looking over at Grayson’s house.

“You haven’t told her.” It wasn’t a question.

“I wanted to, I fucking can’t. Every time I think I can tell her I just think about what it’s gonna do to her. What it’s gonna do to me. I don’t know what the right thing is here E, you gotta tell me.”

“You know I can’t do that.” 

“Fuck that, you’re me, we’re each other, you know me better than I know me. Tell me what to do.” 

Ethan could barely see his brother’s face, but the little bit of light from the moon showed enough pain in his eyes to have Ethan’s stomach twisting. He put a hand on his brother’s shoulder and squeezed.

“You know what I’m gonna say.” 

Grayson’s breath hitched once, and then a new wave of sobs took over. He shook so hard that Ethan was convinced the entire cab was shaking with him. Ethan held him, willed himself to absorb some of the pain, as much as he could, anything to help. 

“If it’s the right thing why does it hurt this bad?”

“I don’t know Gray. I don’t know.” 

“I love her.”

“I know.”

“She loves me.”

“I know.”

“Then how is this the right thing?”

Ethan paused for a moment, holding steady on Grayson’s shoulders.

“What would dad say? If he was here with us, right now, what would he say?”

Grayson pressed into his eyes with the heel of his palms and sniffled.

“He’d say that it wasn’t fair. He’d be mad that I hadn’t told her yet, and he’d say that she’s a good person who shouldn’t have to give up on her dreams for mine. He’d tell me to do what’s best for her, I know that. God, FUCK!” He smacked the dashboard so hard that Ethan heard something crack. He wished there was a way that he could protect his brother in that moment more than anything. Usually, he could step up, take the heat, take the attention off him if he needed. It was one of the few times that he felt truly helpless.

“You don’t have to do it tonight. You still have a few days. Just think about what you want to say, and bring it up whenever you’re ready.”

“I’m never gonna be ready, Ethan. That’s the love of my life, and I’m just supposed to walk away? And what’s she gonna say, when she finds out I’ve been thinking about this for weeks, and I haven’t said shit, huh? She’s not gonna want anything to do with me. She’s not gonna love me anymore, Ethan, and I can’t live with that. I can’t.” His voice cracked, and Ethan’s heart cracked with it.

“If it’s meant to work out, it will somehow. We’ve always believed that.”

“How?” It was a plea more than a question.

“I don’t know Gray. I don’t know.” 

Grayson didn’t know how long they sat in silence. They didn’t need words, just the comfort of each other’s presence as he ran through line after line of what he was going to say. He had to do it then, there was no other option. He had to tell her as soon as he got back, or he was afraid that he never would. But every time he closed his eyes to think, his mind was flooded with her, a kaleidoscope of memories and moments that he couldn’t imagine not making more of. He thought of the way his soul ached every time she cried, and he couldn’t fathom how much worse it would be when he was the cause of it. 

He threw the door open without warning, stepping back out into the snow. It took Ethan a few steps to catch him, but when he did he pulled him into a hug, a real one, and pressed his face into his shoulder. 

“I love you bro. We’ll get through it. You’ll be okay.” 

Grayson always knew when his twin was lying, but he tried his best to believe it. The cold wind stung on his wet cheeks as he went back to the house, kicking off his boots. He took the stairs one at a time as slowly as he could, his panic growing with each one. 

When his foot cleared the final step, he saw her.

She was asleep, curled up under the covers in her New York sweatshirt, hands folded underneath her face. He just stared at her, tried to memorize every feature on her face.

He could have stood there for hours, but she stirred only a moment later. Her eyes peered open just enough for him to see the blue, and then they closed again, a small smile stretching across her lips.

“Come to bed baby. S’warm.” 

Every cell in his body screamed at him, tried to pull him back as he slid out of his coat, out of his flannel, stepped out of his pants. His brain called him every name in the book, told him he was pathetic, weak, manipulative.

But his heart beat just a bit slower at the thought of being in her arms, even if it was just for a moment, the familiar home he’d made for himself comforting enough to let him drown the rest out and climb under the covers and over to her, pulling her into his arms as he pressed his lips together and let his eyes fall closed.

[winterrose527]

have you done an Ella - museum curator, Robb - investor on a tour work??

Ummmm no I had not! And wow was this one cathartic to write. It came out way longer than expected because this is a subject near and dear to my heart...

Thank you for this prompt!!

***

She was so sick of this shit.

Over a year of it. Ever since the governor’s order in April 2020. Back then she’d almost believed it was just a blip, a couple of weeks. A vacation, almost.

But then the ban on gatherings. The shutdowns. Finally the masks.

Every museum in the country had shut its doors along with libraries, movie theaters, and every other place desperate parents could take their children on a rainy Saturday.

Theirs had been luckier than most. An endowment a few years prior, which had been earmarked but not mandated for an expansion had been used to keep the lights on and the staff fed - literally. Their programming had gone virtual and understandably attendance had dropped but not entirely – thanks to a few local artists that had generously donated their time for a last minute plug.

Ever since restrictions had lifted, the crowds had returned somewhat. A rainy spring and summer had helped, but they were nowhere near their ‘pre-pandemic’ levels (and with the Delta variant on the rise she wasn’t super comfortable with the term ‘post-pandemic’ to describe their current state of affairs).

She wouldn’t say that today though.

No, today everything would be rosy – not just the botanical gardens that abutted the museum and had been started in 1853 – no, 1854.

Not that she imagined the potential donor would be fact checking her but nevertheless there was no room for error. She needed to represent the museum well. Her colleagues were counting on her – not to mention the collection itself depended on her.

The board had decided at its most recent meeting if they didn’t get an influx of donations within this quarter they were going to sell off a few pieces from the collection.

There was nothing sadder to a museum than deaccessioning. The staff all loved and protected the collection, and they truly felt the impact they and it had on the community. Myrcella loved to walk through the galleries on Thursday afternoons to see the regulars who’d come to visit the paintings like old friends of theirs, stopping by to say hello to a Baroque oil here or an Impressionist watercolor there.

So if schmoozing yet another prospective donor was what it took to mean that Mr. Poole’s favorite still-life stayed put for his bi-weekly Wednesday morning visit, then she would schmooze. She would schmooze Sansa Stark like her life depended on it.

She knew Sansa Stark sort of. It was the sort of thing where pre-pandemic they had run into each other at half a dozen events every year and always had a lovely chat and discussed getting together and then never did. The North was a small world and they ran in similar circles. But they weren’t friends.

Still, she was her best bet. From the wealthiest and most philanthropic family in the North, of course she was.

And she had to deliver.

The board had all made it clear that they expected results, and it had been suggested that really Myrcella Baratheon shouldn’t have such a hard time finding donors. But all her usual suspects had come to her with their own sob stories full of please tell me you won’t shut your doors but without any promise of relief, and the people she knew down south – the sort that profited from the world being in such dire straits had no interest in a little regional museum. No matter how much she marketed it as a hidden jewel.

To them, there was little worth in a jewel hidden, and they had no interest in having their act of charity buried under the northern snows.

So Sansa Stark was it.

She smoothed her dress, chosen carefully for the occasion. Sansa was always impeccably dressed and favored ladylike, tailored dresses for daytime, just as Myrcella did. Today, which had turned out to be a gorgeous one, she’d chosen a pale blue scallop trim knit dress, her grandmother’s wristwatch her only accessory. Feminine but appropriate. More comfortable than the clingier dresses she only ever so occasionally wore when taking around a male potential benefactor.

“Good luck,” Gilly, their glum registrar said as she raised her wrist to her nose to make sure she could still smell the scented oil she’d spread there that morning.

“Thanks baby,” Myrcella sighed, “Lunch from that naughty salad place when I’m done? My treat?”

Gilly smiled at that, “My treat if you get her.”

“Oh, now the stakes are really high,” she teased and blew Gilly a kiss and walked through the halls.

She felt eyes on her as she went. It was a small, tight-knit team, and it made it all the harder every time she received a sheepish regret. If she couldn’t succeed, one of them might lose their job if the board couldn’t decide what to sell. Even if they could, depending on how long this lasted.

Game face, Baratheon.

She took a deep breath and then smiled for fifteen seconds. She let it drop, knowing that it would still be in her eyes when she walked outside and it felt a little more genuine when her heels clacked along the gorgeous marble floor.

Walking over to the security desk, the smile reappeared on her face.

“Morning Roddy,” she grinned.

“Good morning to you Miss Myrcella,” Rodrick greeted her, “You see the game last night?”

“You’ve known me for four years,” she noted, “When in all of that time have I ever seen the game?”

He chuckled, “There was that one time in 2018.”

“Oh no, I totally lied about that,” she assured him, shrugging, “I wanted you to think I was cool.” She then looked around the empty lobby, “No Miss Stark?”

He grimaced, “Not yet. Traffic is back though, folks still aren’t used to it.”

She nodded, picking at a non-existent thread on her dress and looked around. Her eyes narrowed in on something and she crossed the lobby and picked up a tiny scrap of paper, crumbling it in her hand and then walking back over and tossing it in the trash behind Roddy’s desk.

“I’ve been sitting here for two hours, didn’t see it,” he noted.

She smiled, “Well you’ve been doing less important things like making sure no one robs the place.”

He opened his mouth to say something to her but then his gaze was directed behind her, “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t open until 11 o’clock on Tuesdays.”

“I sort of have an appointment,” the man said.

She knew that voice. She’d heard it before. In a coat closet at Alys Karstark’s birthday party. At the next table over at a charity even in 2019. Deep, stubbornly Northern, as unyielding as Valyrian steel.

She felt her palms sweat and forced herself not to rub them on her dress, rubbing them together instead and then turning around with a bright smile.

“You’re not Sansa Stark,” she greeted him.

He grinned sheepishly, though she wasn’t sure this man had ever had occasion to be sheepish in his entire life, “Afraid not. Myrcella, right? We met at that thing – that um… save the…whatsits.”

She giggled, and she heard the sound echoing garishly on the marble, “I believe that evening we were saving the seals. Or the… tulips, maybe.”

His smile spread slowly across his face, a dimple marking its end like an exclamation point, “Well we did our part even if we can’t remember what it was, I’m Robb Stark.”

She liked that he introduced himself. He’d done so every time they’d met, as though he in no way expected her to remember him. Sansa had done it the first five or so. Must have been how they were raised.

On the other hand, she’d been raised to act as though someone was foolish for not knowing who she was, introducing herself had been something she’d had to learn when she moved north, like parallel parking and salting her stoop.

Her hand extended and his met it, taking hers in his larger one and shaking it firmly as he looked her in the eyes briefly and then her lips slightly longer before purposefully going back to her eyes, “Myrcella Baratheon, and I remember you, Mr. Stark.”

“Well if that were true you’d remember I prefer Robb,” he noted, releasing her hand.

She shrugged, leaning forward conspiratorially, “Old habits. Can I get you something to drink before we begin our tour?”

“No thank you, I’m fine,” he shook his head.

She nodded, “Well it’s beautiful out now, why don’t we start in the botanical gardens. There’s been a bumper crop this year, we recently had the Cerwyn wedding here, did you attend?”

He fell into step next to her and said, “No, I didn’t. I was meant to but they reduced it to just family.”

She nodded, “Right, seems to be happening quite a bit. Will you do the same for your wedding?”

He stopped walking briefly and before she could stop too he had started again, “No… uh, rather than reduce the guest list we decided not to have it at all. We called the engagement off in January.”

“I’m so sorry!” she internally stabbed herself in the throat, “I didn’t know.”

He shrugged, “The nice thing about there not being any events over the past year is that the press didn’t really get wind of it.” Then stopped abruptly, “Not that… it’s not like that makes up for the past year or anything.”

She laughed, “Don’t worry, I know what you meant. I am sorry though, about your engagement.”

“As am I,” he agreed, “But it’s for the best. We parted as friends. Had we gotten married, I’m not sure we could have done so, so I’m grateful for that, and for her.”

A gentleman.

So many men played the part. Opening doors, buying flowers. So few of them realized that manners mattered very little when they were offered without grace.

“That’s lovely,” she noted, pleased for once not to have to lie.

It was a gorgeous day, a perfect seventy-nine degrees and clear blue skies. As though they’d understood the importance of the occasion, the Phlox stood proudly in battle formation and the scent of honeysuckle surrounded them.

“Sansa wanted me to apologize for missing your meeting,” Robb noted.

“I hope nothing’s the matter?” she asked.

A grin overtook his face, “No nothing at all. She’s in labor.”

She smiled, grabbing his forearm briefly. They both looked down at her hand on it and she pulled it back as gingerly as she could.

“That’s wonderful,” she told him, “Her second, right?”

He nodded, “A girl. And I’ve convinced her out of the name Corona.”

She chuckled, “Oh come now, you could call her Corrie for short.”

“And her parents idiots for long,” he noted. Then told her, “They weren’t really going to call her Corona.”

She smiled, “And here I was about to tip off the press…”

He smirked, “Narrow miss, then.” He looked around, “So. Flowers.”

“Not just flowers,” she pointed out, “We have a community garden to the left and down that lane local beekeepers keep their hives.”

“My mistake,” he allowed with a close-lipped smile.

That smile annoyed her. It was the same one she’d heard in the voice of every southern donor she’d called when they’d offered her good luck with her little country museum.

It was the smile someone gave her when she’d already lost.

“Perhaps we should go inside,” she noted, “I can show you our contemporary wing which we’ve recently devoted to elevating female and underrepresented artists. Or perhaps that’s a bit too avant-garde for you. Would you like to see our hall of armor and weaponry? I believe we have a few pieces that your ancestors left on one battlefield or another.”

“I’m sorry,” he noted, rubbing his jaw, “I told Sansa we should just cancel this meeting but she insisted.”

“With all due respect, Mr. Stark –“

“Robb,” he corrected her.

“No, I’m addressing Mr. Stark right now,” she argued, all of the frustration and helplessness of the past few months bubbling up inside of her, “May I ask what exactly it is about this that you find amusing? Is it the painting that we’re going to have to sell so that it can end up in someone’s climate controlled storage unit and never looked at again? Or is it the leaky roof? Perhaps the pay cut we asked all senior employees to take? Or how about the summer interns who had gone through a rigorous hiring process only to be told we couldn’t take them on at all? I certainly hope it’s not the seniors who used to come here for their Saturday afternoon watercolor classes which we had to cancel because we didn’t have anything to pay the instructor even though it would have been the perfect activity for them because it is outdoors and safe. Or maybe it’s the after-school programs you find so laughable…”

“I’m not laughing,” he pointed out. “But you’ll forgive me if I take your righteousness with a grain of salt.”

“I’m not sure that I will, actually,” she argued.

“No?” he asked, “Well let’s talk about those seniors? Don’t you think that funding is better spent ensuring they have free and safe access to the vaccination that can actually save their lives? Or what about those kids? Sure, the after-school program is great, but how about providing computers to allow them to do remote learning? Now I’m sorry if you have to lose one of a thousand paintings in this place, but if money can be better spent giving people what they really need then I’m sorry – sell the damn thing.”

That was hard to argue with.

But not impossible.

“So you’ve drained your coffers?” she asked.

There was only room for one of them on the moral high ground and she’d always enjoyed the view.

His cheeks had turned blotchy in anger but they paled now, “Excuse me?”

“Are you in the red?” she asked, “Declaring bankruptcy? Let’s not go that far - Taking out loans? Leveraging assets?”

His jaw clenched, revealing a muscle in his left cheek that might have been attractive if she wasn’t about to rip his head off.

“No,” he noted, “But my family’s company and my family have given an exceptional amount this year already.”

“Well,” she pointed out, “It has been an exceptional year already.”

“Are you always this haughty with potential donors?” he asked, stepping ever so slightly closer to her.

A flash in her mind of his hand ghosting across the back of her neck as he secured her coat over her shoulders. That smell.

“Never,” she admitted, stepping ever so slightly towards him, “But you’re not a potential donor, are you? And tell me, is it really because you don’t think it’s worthwhile or because it doesn’t sound worthwhile?”

His face contorted in anger, “You think we’re giving so that people will write songs about us? We want this country back on its feet. We want to return to normal and if we can’t do that, we want to make sure to give people as comfortable an existence until it reverts on its own. Tell me, Miss Baratheon, can you actually find fault in that?”

She shook her head, “No, I can’t.” He looked surprised and she shrugged, “It’s a flawless argument. Just an incomplete one. Giving an exceptional amount right now isn’t enough. You have to give until it hurts, because you can. It is wonderful, exceptional, heroic, to be doing all that you have done so far. But what comes next? What comes after? What happens when the dust settles? When things open? When we get things under control? What happens when people are ready to return to what was before and none of it is left because it wasn’t deemed essential. Because it’s just flowers and amateur beekeepers and pretty watercolors? I understand that we are not on the top of the list and we shouldn’t be. But we should be on the list. We need to do more than survive, Robb. There are things apart from us that we need to endure. Things we need to protect.”

His mouth twitched at that.

“I’m sorry to say I don’t have time to see the armor,” he told her.

She felt the defeat trickle through her veins slowly.

She held out her hand, “Thank you for letting me rant at you.”

He shook it once again, narrowing his eyes at her, “Something tells me you’ve still got some left in the tank. I’d quite like to hear it. Have dinner with me tonight and convince me.”

It was happening to all of her girlfriends. After a year in isolation, their ability to detect a creep from a mile away had withered. She hadn’t thought that hers had too. He’d seemed like one of the good ones.

She pulled her hand away, “That’s not the way I do business, Mr. Stark.”

His eyes widened in horror, “No, that’s not what I meant. I don’t get to make these decisions.”

“You’re the CEO,” she pointed out.

“Yes I am but Sansa insisted on inserting a clause into her contract that she gets final say over any philanthropic decisions,” he sighed, “I literally am not even allowed to choose the location of a book drive.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at that, a tiny bit of hope bubbling inside of her, “So when you said you should have cancelled the meeting…”

“It’s because Sansa’s already decided that we will be giving a donation, she wanted to discuss the structure of it with you – you know whether you’d prefer a lump sum, or whether you want it in increments, if you wanted it to be public to inspire other donors or whether you wanted it to be private so that they couldn’t use it as an excuse not to give…” he waved his hand, “She’s better at the specifics and I’m sure she’ll be calling you in between contractions to fine tune them.”

She laughed, “Please tell her not to. A pledge is more than enough to take to my board, we can map out the nitty gritty whenever she or whomever will be replacing her in the interim has time.”

He nodded, “You’ll have them within the week.”

She was about to thank him but the words caught in her mouth, “So wait a second… did you just wind me up for the sake of it?”

He grinned, a chuckle present in his voice though it hadn’t yet broken, “I’d like to point out that it took very little to wind you up.”

She laughed, because he was right and admitted, “It’s been a tough year.”

He nodded, “For everyone. So, now that you know I have absolutely no control and can hold absolutely nothing over you… have dinner with me.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I enjoy arguing with you,” he told her, then grinned sheepishly, “And because I lied. Sansa told me that I could cancel the meeting and I insisted on coming because I wanted to see you. The bad thing about this year is that there were no events where I could have a chance of bumping into you…”

“Oh that’s the bad thing about this year?” she asked.

“Well,” he grinned, then did a scarily good impression of her, “Maybe it shouldn’t be at the top of the list, but it should be on the list.”

[louezem]

Saying Yes - Brothers

Summary:  Katniss and Peeta had a bitter break up years ago and went their separate ways. Katniss knows nothing of Peeta's life now, until a stunning blonde walks into the exclusive bridal salon were she works, to buy her a dress for her wedding - to Peeta Mellark.

Written for @promptsinpanem

Part 5 - Brothers

Eight Weeks Later...

Part 5 - Brothers 

Eight weeks later:

“Good evening, Mr Mellark, it’s nice to see you,” the doorman welcomed him with a tip of his head.

“Good evening,” Peeta returned the welcome. “I’m here to meet my brother for dinner but I need to go upstairs first. When he arrives can you send him to The Arena?  I’ll meet him at the bar.”

“Of course, Mr Mellark, I’ll let him know.”

Peeta strode through the hotel lobby, acknowledging staff members and guests alike with a nod or a smile before using his keycard to access a small private elevator that rose directly to the penthouse he’d shared with Glimmer.

It felt a little weird being back in this space.  He’d moved out of the hotel and into a very nice apartment a short distance away a couple of weeks earlier.  The views weren’t as spectacular and there was no room service or overnight dry cleaning at his new place, but he was enjoying having a space that was just his more than he’d expected.  He liked displaying his own art on the walls of his home and cooking in his own kitchen again.

He opened the sliding doors to the patio and stepped outside, glad that none of the Glimmer’s personal staff were around to observe him as he said a last goodbye to the place that he’d called home for quite a while.  He walked to the infinity balcony and leaned over admiring the view over the city and listening to the faint sounds of the crowds and the traffic far below.  He could feel the autumn chill in the air, the days getting noticeably shorter.  It was almost sunset, so he decided to stay and watch from this vantage point one last time.

The media attention had been pretty brutal in the weeks immediately following his and Glimmer’s break up, usually casting him in the role of a gold-digging gigolo who’d used Glimmer to further his career in her Grandfather’s chain of hotels and then broke her heart.   They didn’t let up until a couple of photos of Glimmer and her entourage of girlfriends started showing up on online as they partied their way across Europe.  When a photo of Glimmer dancing closely with the sovereign prince of some small European principality showed up on twitter the interest in Peeta finally began to fade.  He smiled to himself, knowing Glimmer most likely leaked the photo herself to draw the attention off him, if the winking emoji she’d text him around the same time was anything to go by.  But she’d never admit it to anyone else.

In the bedroom he gathered the last few personal documents and books he’d forgotten into a box and dropped his keycard in the drawer of the bedside table, switching off the lights on his way out.      

He felt sad that this chapter of his life was over but not heart-broken like he thought he was supposed to be.  He should be on his honeymoon in Europe right now, for god’s sake, but instead he was single again.  He kept waiting for some stronger emotion to hit him but the simple truth was, he was okay.  If anything, he was a little excited about the future and the new opportunities that were already presenting themselves.  It wasn’t like back when…

An image of a pretty dark-haired girl with tears running down her face came into his mind, immediately morphing into a more recent memory of a gorgeous woman with flashing silver eyes climbing into a taxi and driving away…

He shut down that train of thought quickly.   Dr Aurelius had said no good would come from letting his mind wander down those paths.  In the weeks since he’d bumped into her again, Katniss had made a reappearance in his dreams, costing him more than one night of sleep lost to restless tossing and turning.  So much so that he’d started painting in the small hours of the morning again.

He dropped his box of things off in his office downstairs and headed to the bar where he immediately spotted a head of blond wavy hair almost identical to his own.  

“Hey Rye,” he greeted his brother and slipped onto the barstool beside him, letting his eye run over the room.  Like everything in the hotel the restaurant exuded sheer luxury - from the long polished mahogany bar to the more private dining areas with deep seats upholstered in sumptuous dark blue velvet and tables set with the finest sterling silver cutlery and cut crystal glassware.  The only thing he didn’t personally care for were the large displays of snow white roses, but they were something of a trademark for the owner, Coriolanus Snow who insisted on them in all his hotels.

“Peeta.” Rye welcomed him with a pat to his shoulder and raised his finger to catch the attention of the bartender. “What are you drinking?”

“My usual please, Finch,” Peeta smiled at the bartender who came to serve him, a slender natural red-head with fox like features and pale eyes, “and whatever my brother wants.”

“A double on the rocks, and put it on his tab.” Rye winked and raised his glass.

Peeta chuckled and Finch gave them a closed lipped smile before scurrying off to get their drinks.

“This is some place,” Rye commented.  “It’s a far cry from the spit and sawdust of Abernathy’s bar, back home.”

“It is,” Peeta chuckled.  “Is the old man even still alive?”

“Sure is, and as surly as ever.  But enough of small town news, tell me how’ve you been,” Rye looked him up and down.  “We haven’t talked much in the last few weeks.  You don’t look too bad, all things considered.”

“Thanks, I’m doing okay,” Peeta lifted his drink and clinked it off his brother’s glass. “I’ve been busy with events here in the hotel and moving to my own place.  Next time you’re in town we should meet up my new apartment instead of the hotel.  I’ll cook you a steak.”

“It’s a deal,” Rye agreed. “I’ll bring the beer.  None of your fancy wines, thank you very much. You got a big TV?”

“I’ve got a regular TV and sports on cable,” Peeta laughed. “I prefer to use my walls for my paintings, not a huge flatscreen.”

“You can spare at least one wall for a decent 60 inch. The one in the suite we stayed in upstairs before the wedding was awesome.  We did you move out anyway, I thought you could live at the hotel for free as a perk of your job?”

“There is a private suite that comes with the package but with Glimmer due back in town soon I thought it was best to find my own place.   Better to keep a little healthy distance between us until things settle.” 

“Probably wise.” Rye agreed.  “Have you talked to her at all?” 

“Sure, a couple of times.  Honestly, we’re fine with each other.  I mean, yeah, it feels strange being a single guy again.  I miss her company and I miss sleeping beside someone at night.” He let out a small chuckle. “I even miss Caesar, but all things considered we’re good.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. Glimmer is a great girl,” Rye sipped his whiskey, a thoughtful look on his face.  “Stupid dog, though.  Give me a mutt over a pampered pooch any day of the week.”

“Hey Caesar is great.  He might be small and fluffy but he has the heart of a great dane,” Peeta chuckled.  “The little dogs always do.  Besides—” Peeta stopped. 

“Besides what?”

“I think Glimmer may have done the right thing by calling the wedding off.” Peeta confessed. He cleared his throat. It was the first time he’d admitted as much out loud to anyone.  “Moving out will make everything less awkward in the long run, when she starts to see someone new.  I don’t think she’ll be single for long.” 

“Does it bother you?  The thought of Glimmer with another guy?”  Rye was watching him.

Peeta knew if he tried to lie, his brother would see right through it.  No one knew him the way Rye did.  He considered his response carefully, as he’d asked himself the same question a million times.

“No.” He answered truthfully.  It was the first time he’d fully admitted it, even to himself, and with it came a sense of relief.  “It really doesn’t bother me and that’s that thing.  It should, shouldn’t it?  I mean, I should be turning green with jealousy at thought of Glimmer with someone else, but I’m not.  All I want is for her to be happy.”

“Hmm.  What about you? Have you had any thoughts about moving on yourself?”  Rye raised an eyebrow. 

Peeta shook his head.  “No.  Relationships are the last thing I’m thinking about right now, and maybe not for a long time.”

“Who said anything about relationships? You have needs. You’re a young reasonably good looking guy—”

“Gee, thanks!” Peeta laughed at the back handed compliment.

“—all I’m saying is the ladies love a guy like you, and there is nothing wrong with a little healthy no strings attached fun.  Or a lot of healthy no strings fun if you prefer.  How about Finch over there?  She a bit of a fox and she keeps looking at you like she sees something delicious she’d like to eat.”

“Delicious but toxic,” Peeta snorted, shaking his head.  “I don’t do casual hook-ups but if I did I’d never choose someone at work.  It would be unprofessional.”

“But dating the granddaughter of your employer wasn’t?”  Rye laughed out loud.

“That was different, I was working someplace else when I met Glimmer.”

“Okay fair point,” Rye conceded, tipping his head.  “But tell me why you just described yourself as toxic?  Don’t tell me you bought into all that bullshit the media accused you of.”

“No, but look how my last two relationships ended.  The love of my life cheated on me and broke my heart, then my next serious girlfriend dumped me on our wedding day.  Even if—"

“Wait.”  Slowly Rye rested his drink on the bar and turned to face his brother, all former joviality had left his face. “Peeta, do you still believe Katniss Everdeen is the love of your life?”

“That’s an odd question to ask,” Peeta frowned.

“Humour me.”

“Fine then, the answer is yes,” he gave a slight nod of his head. “Yes, I believe Katniss is the great love of my life.  Hopefully not the last love. But the great one.  I loved Glimmer but it wasn’t the same.   I don’t think I could ever love anyone again the way I loved Katniss.”

Rye let out a deep sigh and ran a shaking hand though his hair.  “I was afraid you were going to say that.”

Peeta’s frown deepened. “Rye, what’s wrong?  You’re acting weird.”

“Peeta, there is something I need to talk to you about.  It’s been playing on my mind for some time, since long before the wedding was cancelled, if I’m honest.”

“Okay.  This sounds ominous.  It’s nothing to do with your health is it?  Or Graham, or Mom? The business back home is doing okay? Because you know I can help with that if you need—”

“No, no – calm down, the business if fine, Mom and Graham are fine, or at least they were, last time I spoke to them.  By the way, Mom said to tell you how foolish you were for letting a prize like Glimmer slip through your fingers.”

Peeta rolled his eyes. He could care less what his mother thought of him or his life, not when she couldn't even bothered to come to his wedding.

“Stop deflecting Rye.  This isn’t the first time you’ve hinted you had something on your mind and you’re not usually the type to hold back, so whatever it is, spit it out.”

“I worried if I do you’ll punch me in the face.”

“Rye, so help me—”

“Look, let’s move over to a table.” Rye threw back what was left in his glass and nodded to the bartender for another.  “We might need a little more privacy for this conversation.”

Once the brothers were resettled in a quiet corner with fresh drinks in front of them Peeta sat back and waited.

“It’s about Katniss.” Rye began nervously.

“What about her?” Peeta frowned.

“It’s about what happened between her and Gale Hawthorne the night of Madge’s party.”

Peeta looked at him, his frown deepening.  That was not what he’d been expecting to come out of Rye’s mouth.

“I already know what happened Rye.  I don’t need to hear the sordid tale of how you caught my girlfriend making out with another guy again.”  His tone was dismissive.

“Peeta, did you ever wonder why Katniss gave up trying to contact you after you broke up with her?” Rye’s voice shook a little as he spoke. He was nervous.

Peeta met his brother’s worried gaze with a now stony one of his own.  “I reckoned she figured out it was pointless to keep trying.  You caught her red handed and she knew that I’d never forgive her. Cheating is a deal breaker for me.  She knew that.”

“Okay, that’s reasonable.  But did you ever stop and ask yourself why you didn’t see her around at school later on, when she had a full ride to go to Panem U?”

“Yeah, she had, for tuition.” Peeta nodded. “We’d planned to live in the dorms for freshman year, and if we could find roommates we liked to share expenses with us, we’d rent a place and live together off campus after that. For the first month or so after school started I did look out for her.  Fuck, every time I saw a girl with olive skin and dark hair I hoped it was Katniss.” Peeta grabbed the whiskey bottle Finch had left on the table, and tossed back a shot.  “But after a while I figured out she must have gone somewhere else.  I guess she decided she didn’t want to see me either.”   

Rye locked eyes with him. “Before I tell you this, I need you to know that I’m really sorry. I want you to keep that in your head and remember it when I’m finished.”

“Sorry for what?”  Peeta eyed him warily.  “You’re starting to freak me out now, Rye.”

“I fucked up and got it all wrong, Peeta.  Katniss didn’t cheat on you with Gale the night of Madge’s party.  Or any other night.”

Peeta sat deathly still, his face impassive, as he stared at his older brother. The only reaction he showed to the grenade his brother had just launched at him was the darkening of his eyes from blue to black.

“What the fuck are you saying to me, Rye?  You’d better explain what you just said.  Fast,” he growled.

“Okay hear me out.  I need to start at the beginning.” Rye put up a placating hand.  “You remember that I had a massive thing for Madge Undersee, right?  I even thought I might be in love with her, but she only had eyes for Gale Hawthorne.” 

“Sure, I remember.  You always had a thing for blondes.”

“Still do.” Rye laughed dryly, but with no humour.  “I ended up crashing Madge’s party that night with a couple of the guys I used to wrestle with back in High School.  Cato and Marvel.  It was already late when we got there and Katniss was there hanging out with Madge and Gale. They’d all had a few drinks and looked pretty comfortable with each other.  Katniss and Madge were dancing and Gale was watching them both.  I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Katniss and Gale were friends since they were kids,” Peeta interrupted. “Madge was her best friend in High School.  Off course they were friendly. The only reason I wasn’t at the party too was because I was due at the bakery the next morning at 4am to finish a wedding cake, so Katniss tagged along with Gale instead.”

“Anyway,” Rye continued. “As the night went on I drank more and I managed to corner Madge on her own in the kitchen away from her friends.  I asked her to go out on a date with me, begged her to give me a shot, but she turned me down flat. I kept trying to charm her until she got pissed off told me to leave her alone, that she liked someone else.”

“Let me guess, that someone was Gale?” Peeta asked.

“Yeah.” Rye confirmed with a nod. “So I backed off with my tail between my legs, grumbling all the while to the guys about what was so special about Gale that made him so popular with the ladies, and what had he got that I hadn’t got.  They laughed, saying he had quite a reputation with the ladies and he was well known for frequenting the slag heap with different girls, but lately he’d been there a lot with a certain Seam girl.  They were looking at Katniss when they said it.”

Peeta raised an eyebrow at this.

“Anyway, by then I was drunk and feeling pretty sorry for myself.  A little while later I decided to call it a night and left to walk home when I heard some rustling and caught sight of Gale back in the trees.  At first I thought he was taking a leak, but then I realised he was leaning up against a tree because he had a girl backed up against it.   This kinda made me see red because Madge was back at the house waiting for him to make his move and he was here, wasting time with another girl.”

“Katniss.” Peeta growled, downing another shot.  It might be ten years ago, but it still hurt.  

“Yes.” Rye nodded.  “It was Katniss.  I saw him bend down and kiss her, but she must have seen me because she shoved him away and came running after me and we argued.   She tried to say what I’d seen was nothing, that she’d only gone outside to check on Gale because he was drunk and he came onto her.  She swore she never invited it.”

He took a deep breath. 

“I was so angry I couldn’t think straight.  I yelled at Katniss to get the hell away from me and to stay the hell away from you and told her she wasn’t good enough for you.  Gale came over and tried to throw a punch at me for yelling at Katniss, but he was a drunk as I was and he missed and we both ended up on the ground.  Then his friend Thom and Madge came out of the house and broke it up.  Katniss was crying and Madge took her inside.”

“I know this part Rye.” Peeta’s icy voice cut across him abruptly.  “But you never said anything about her shoving him away before.  You made it sound like she was a willing participant, that she was all over him.”

“I know.  I know I did.” Rye threw his hands up in the air. “I thought she shoved him away because she saw me, but I only found out years later that I was wrong about all of it.  After what Cato and Marvel had told me about Gale and a Seam girl at the slag heap, I put two and two together and made five.”

“When did you find out you were wrong?”  Peeta spat out, his head spinning.  The repercussions of what Rye had done were huge.  The whole path of his – and Katniss – life had changed because of what Rye said he saw that night.

“Not until a few years later.  Believe it or not, it was Gale who confronted me.  He and Madge were engaged, and I had long moved on.  They came by the bakery to order a wedding cake.  While Madge was distracted talking flavours and buttercream with Dad, Gale asked could he have a word with me outside.”

“At first I thought he was going to bring up my old crush on Madge, but instead he started talking about that night. He basically said he wanted to clear the air and Katniss’ name, and he confirmed everything Katniss tried to tell me years before was all true.”

A heavy silence fell between the brothers and Peeta sat stiffly as his brain tried to process this new information.

“But if he had feelings for Madge, why was he trying to kiss Katniss that night? That makes no sense!” Peeta burst out. 

“I asked him the very same thing.  He said his feelings for Madge were new and he never expected a girl like her would look at a Seam guy like him, let alone date one.  He was confused by what the true nature of his feelings for Katniss were.  They’d been friends for so long and everyone including his  family told him they’d end up together eventually but then she started dating you and he was worried he’d missed his chance.  So when one presented itself, he took it. He said he had to do it.  Just once.”

“And the seam girl he’d been sneaking around with at the slag heap?”

“Leevy Collins.”

“I can’t believe I’m only hearing about this now,” Peeta muttered dropping his head into his hands. “You should have come to me with this when Gale first told you, Rye.”

“I know.” Rye shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  “Gale told me Katniss gave him hell afterwards.  He felt bad when he found out that you broke up with her. They didn’t speak for a long time, but Madge invited Katniss to the wedding hoping they could patch things up.  Gale told me I should try and encourage you to go as well.  He hinted that Katniss wasn’t seeing anyone.”

 “Wait, so Katniss and Gale didn’t speak again until Madge’s wedding?”  Peeta exclaimed.  “That was years later!”

“I guess so.  I don’t know all the details. Katniss and Prim moved away when Prim finished High School. I guess they moved to the city then.  I didn’t keep tabs on her.  After you left she wasn’t on my radar.  I heard her Mom had died—”

“Wait, what - Mrs Everdeen died?!?”  Peeta's head shot up in shock and he suddenly realised just how far he’d distanced himself from his home town if this news never reached him.

“Yeah, I think it was the winter after you left to go to school that I heard a rumour about Katniss’ Mom.  Talk around town was she was really sick.  By then Katniss was working double shifts in Sae’s diner but she got another job working evenings in Abernathy’s.  Mrs Everdeen died about a year later.  Cancer, I heard.”

So Katniss finished raising Prim alone. Peeta thought. She had no one.

Why didn’t you tell me any of this back then?” Peeta clenched his fists tightly. He’d had arguments with his brothers before but he couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever felt so angry with Rye and it hurt.  Rye was his big brother, the one he could depend on who always stood up for him and been there for him. Deflected their mother’s rage onto himself when she would beat up on Peeta too hard.  “You never said a word.”   

“I didn’t think it would make any difference.  You never mentioned Katniss again, I thought you had put it all behind you.  You were living this amazing life in the city, you’d a great job, travelling all over the world in private jets, you had a gorgeous, sexy girlfriend.  I thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie.” 

“You could have told me some things, Rye.  I would have liked to know.  I would have sent flowers to Mrs Everdeen’s funeral.  I liked Mrs Everdeen, she was troubled but she was kind to me.”

“I didn’t want to make things worse for you, Peeta.” Rye’s tone had taken on a slight edge of annoyance.  “Don’t you remember what you were like back then?  After you left home any time anyone tried to talk to you about Katniss, you snapped their heads off.  You made it very clear you didn’t want any information from back home, Everdeen related or otherwise.  So in the end it was best not to say anything.”

“I was hurting, Rye.  I was devastated and angry, thinking my girlfriend had cheated on me and lied to me.”

“I know Peeta, and I get that now. I’m sorry. I take full responsibility.” Rye looked away, his guilt and shame written all over his face.  

An uncomfortable silence settled between the brothers, neither knowing where to go from there.  Even through the haze of his own anger Peeta could see how deeply upset Rye was.

“No.” Peeta eventually broke the silence. “It’s not completely your fault Rye.  It’s mine too.  I should have trusted my girlfriend when she told me she loved me instead of believing the worst of her.  I should have listened to her version of events. Maybe if I didn’t always feel like I wasn’t good enough for someone like her to love, we could have resolved it.  I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, testing her feelings, hoping if I showed her how much I loved her she would be more demonstrative when it wasn’t in her nature.”

“Back at the hotel, the day before the wedding, she said…” Rye trailed of, shaking his head.

“Back at the hotel she said what, Rye?” Peeta prompted.  “Don't stop now!.”

“She asked me if you were happy.  She made me promise to take care of you, for her.”

Peeta swallowed deeply, tears stinging behind his eyes.  Even this tiny sign that she still cared for him was too much.  

“Is there anything else, I should know? Any more surprises?” he cleared his throat, almost unable to speak.

Rye nodded hesitantly.  “There is one more thing,” he said, obviously troubled. “I promise this is the last of it.”

“Go on.”

“Somehow Mom found out about what happened, I don’t know how. Maybe she overheard me talking to Dad. She threatened Mrs Everdeen with Child Protective Services if Katniss went to the same school as you.”   

“Jesus Christ.”  The tears behind Peeta’s eyes finally began to fall.  He knew the threat of CPS would have terrified Katniss.  She’d confided her fears about her mother’s mental health to him many times, and was worried about leaving Prim to go to school.  He knew, with absolute certainty, that his mother making such a threat would have been enough to stop Katniss leaving for school, even if they hadn’t broken up.  She would never risk her sister ending up in foster care.

“Peeta, are you okay?”  Rye put his hand on his shoulder but Peeta shook it off and stood up.

“After everything else, it’s too much.  I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all this new information Rye.  I think I need to talk to Dr Aurelius.”  Peeta wiped at his eyes and tried to compose himself, suddenly remembering where he was. 

“Everything you’ve told me tonight has turned everything I believed about Katniss upside down.  I spent years believing the worst of her and it burned a hole in my soul.   It changed me as a person.  Now I find out all this.  Our family destroyed her, Rye.  You, me, Mom.  We took away her chances.  I shouldn’t have let that happen, I was supposed to protect her, we protected each other.  I’m the one who let her down and needs her forgiveness, not the other way around.”

“For what it’s worth, even when you still believed the worst of her, you had already forgiven her.” Rye offered.  “You were ready to let go of the anger.  All it took was seeing her that day, on the steps of the hotel.”

“Maybe so.  But now I have more questions than I have answers.”  Peeta was so confused.  “This changes everything.”

“I think you should go find her and talk to her.  Get some closure.”

“Do you think she would she want to talk to me?” Peeta shook his head. “I didn’t just break up with her that day, I tore her apart, Rye.”  Peeta brought his hands up, rubbing his temples which were beginning to throb.   “I called her unforgivable names and told her to crawl back to the slag heap where she belonged.”  

“Peeta, you have to know how truly sorry I am.”  Rye’s voice shook with emotion. “I never meant to cause—"

Peeta put his hand up to stop him. “I know.  But what’s done is done.”  He pulled out his wallet, throwing a handful of notes on the table.  “I’m going to leave now.  I have a lot of thinking to do.”

He left the table and made his way across bar being careful to avoid catching the eye of any of the other diners.  On seeing him approach, Finch came straight over.

“Please see my brother’s room and tab are charged to my account,” he instructed smoothly.

“Of course, Mr Mellark.  Have a good evening, sir.”  With a smile she retreated to serve another customer.

“Peeta, wait.” As he turned he found Rye was standing closely behind him. “I’m worried.  We’re brothers.  All I ever wanted was what was best for you. Are we going to be okay?”

“I need some time, Rye.  I need to process how I feel about all this.  This… this was huge.  What happened that night changed the course of my life.”

“Fair enough.” His older brother watched with saddened eyes.  “I understand.  Please call me when you’re ready to talk.  I’ll be waiting.”

#Without looking back again, Peeta walked away.  He didn’t remember bidding goodnight to the doorman, or climbing into the cab that took him home.  He let himself into his apartment, chucking off his suit jacket and loosening his tie before heading straight to the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass.

Peeta flung himself onto his sofa, exhausted, his arm flung across his eyes as he tried to reconcile everything Rye had told him.  He felt like a steamroller had run over him.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Again and again it went around and around in his head.  How it must have hurt her when he’d taken Rye’s word over hers.  How betrayed and alone she must have felt.  A sob caught in his throat. 

“Katniss, I’m sorry, I should have believed you,” he spoke into the shadows of the empty room, feeling hot tears finally burning a path down his cheeks, whether from sorrow or shame he didn’t know.  “I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry,” he sobbed until he finally passed out.

READ on AO3

[originofjaehyun]

Interlude: No More Drama | Part 3 | Boom

Interlude: No More Drama Masterlist

Word count: 3,178

Warnings: None except for mentions of cigarette I guess

Part 3 | Boom

“It was rather good baby, the day you were standing there again like a picture.”

Prev • Next

Jaehyun’s used to girls flocking around him.

He never meant to boast about his look, but it would be a lie if he told people that he's not confident with it. His pale skin, combined with the defined jaw, decorated with a pair of brown eyes that could penetrate with just a look, he is chiseled to perfection. 

There are many times where he would go to clubs, either with a friend or with his clients, just to have the rest of the night pretending he’s having a good time when he’s not. He is sick with the same pattern, girls trying to steal his attention, trying their best to seducing them. He has witnessed more than a handful of women that wore something that could barely hold their breasts. 

Jaehyun hated these types of girls. But he would hold them just for the sake of temporary satisfactions. What is wrong with hookups, as long as both parties gave their consent? They would feel like they owned Jaehyun the next morning, texted him even when they were already back at their respective homes. But Jaehyun would never respond, seeking nothing more but just a one night stand.

Not until he saw you.

He was sitting right across you, so he had a full picture of how you look that night. You were pretending, just like him. He saw a glimpse of him in you. When you made eye contact with him, he thought you would be another girl that he would bring home for the night, expecting you to send back another flirtatious peek just like how other girls would. But no, he was just another indifferent person for you. You’re back, talking with your best friend and letting out the most genuine smile of the night.

Curious.

He thought as he continued to observe you. In the end, he saw his opportunity to find you, as you walked towards the balcony for a smoke. The moment Jaehyun’s lips touch yours, he feels like a bolt runs through his vines. His heart beats faster as the kiss becomes more intense. Your kisses feel like the first spring for Jaehyun.

Jaehyun woke up with the absence of your presence. So she left, he thought to himself. This is nothing new to Jeong Jaehyun. Every time he had those casual sex, there are times where his partner would just storm outside without even bothered to say goodbye. He’s used to it.

It’s a shame, he thought there’s something different... from you.

It just makes sense for him to flinch when you suddenly opened the door with two glasses of water on both hands.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” You said to him, apologetically. Worried that you’ve woken him up from his slumber because of the ruckus you’ve made.

You put the glasses on the side table, “I thought you’ll wake up feeling thirsty after… Uhm, last night.” You gulped, feeling slightly embarrassed as you remembered how he devoured you just a few hours ago.

“I’m sorry for barging your apartment, but you look so content in your sleep that I don’t want to wake you up. I promise I didn’t steal anything.”

Me, content? 

This is something new to Jaehyun. This is the first time he sleeps longer than his partner. Even when they left without trying to not wake him up, he would pretend that he’s still asleep, just for the sake of being polite.

He stared at you, scanning how you look, before letting out a soft hoarse simper.

“There’s nothing much in my place anyway, but I’m guessing you’ve taken a liking on my shirt?”

You blushed, “Well, I technically passed out last night, and you refused to let me go after the fourth round.”

“We left our clothing in the hallway, so I just grab whatever is lying here. I hope you don’t mind, here’s yours.” You passed the already-folded shirt and trousers to him. “Uhm, your boxer is in the middle. I left your coat at the coat hanger.”

He blinks repeatedly, without replying to your statement. Realizing he might still be collecting himself after being woken up, abruptly, you continued your speech.

“I’ll be gone before long. I hope you’re ok with me changing here, I don’t know where your bathroom is and I’ve been barging long enough.”

You’ve sensed that his gaze has become softer, eyes gleaming.

“Don’t change yet.” He finally talked to you. “Can you come here instead?”

He stretched out his arms, adorably asking for your presence. He pressed both of his lips together, acting spoiled and forcing the dimples to come out. After last night, he actually asked, rather than commanding. You let out a small chuckle, before falling on top of him, cuddling with each other.

You took a moment to enjoy the silence between you. The room only filled with the sound of your breathing, harmonizing with each other. He casually caressed your hair, tightening his hugs while making sure you’re still comfortable in between his arms. This man could be gentle too, so you thought, after seeing him being so beastly last night. He placed a kiss on your temple, then playfully snuffling himself onto your hair.

“I should get going.” You stopped him from tickling you further.

“As much as I enjoy this and it’s Saturday morning, I think I’m overstaying my welcome.”

“Who said so? I can do this all day.” He put his head on the crook of your neck, continued to act spoiled. “At least stay for breakfast? I can cook for you.”

“You’re good looking, smell nice, extremely experienced in bed and now you can cook? God seems a bit unfair when he created you, huh?” You scoffed at his statement, making him burst in laughter.

“But really, I have to turn down the offer. My best friend will start hunting for me if she knows I’m at a stranger’s house. But thank you for your kindness.”

You raise yourself up, ready to change back to the attire you wore last night. He then limped himself back to the bed, staring at the ceiling as you changed. 

“Can I see you again?” He’s now sitting down again, watching as you continued to wear your pants.

You zipped your trousers.

“Oh Jaehyun,” You walked towards him, picking up the phone you left at his side table. “You’re a charmer, you’d find plenty of women like me.”

You plant a kiss on his forehead, before striding your way to his apartment door.

–

“Do you have everything ready?”

You rolled your eyes before replying to the owner of the sweet voice. “Joy, this is the fifth time you’ve asked me and yes, I have everything.”

She sighed, “Well, it’s only natural for us to be nervous, right? After all, we are going to meet a representative from NCT Corp., big bucks, y’know?” She rubs her thumb with her index and middle fingers, acting like there’s a dollar bill in between. 

“Well, my dear friend, you’re in luck cause the creative director is coming with you. Besides, ever heard a rumor that our clients would prepare a signed document beforehand if they knew I’m coming?” You said while shrugging your shoulders.

“Fucking show off.” Joy rolled her eyes.

“Language, miss.”

She then clings your arm, acting spoiled – in case you would ask her to go home early; which is not a good sign. 

Both of you then proceed to enter the car, provided by the company that’s ready to drive you to the potential client’s office, NCT Corp., located at the heart of Seoul. It is a commercial property services firm, the biggest in South Korea. It has managed billions of square feet in property and facilities management and has done over thousands of leasing transactions. No wonder Joy breaks to sweat when she’s told that she’s going to be in this project with you when the client is in such caliber.

That’s not the case for you. You love the challenge and you love the thrill, when you’re faced with something that needs more than just a simple multiplication, your brain starts to work in wonders and you love that feeling. You love being in control of your job and you take pride in every work you’ve done.

You aligned at the lobby. It’s very modern and chic, but you know that the marbles that they used to decorate the floor would cost a fortune.

“Hi, how can I help you today?” The lady at the receptionist greeted you with a wide grin.

“Hi, I’m here to meet Mr. Seo? We’re scheduled to have a meeting at three.”

“OK Miss, may I have your ID card?”

You swiftly took your wallet and gave her your ID card.

“It’s [Y/N] [Y/L/N], from The Paper Plane.”

She then scans your ID card and flips open the ever-thick notes, filled with the black ink marking the company’s busy schedule. She stopped at one of the lines, before handing over two guest cards.

“Ms. [Y/N], we’ve confirmed your appointment today with Mr. Seo. All you need to do is to tap the card on the entry, and press the number 27 at the elevator.” She continues and pointing the direction of her right, showing you which way to go.

You grab both of the guest cards, handing one of the cards to Joy, “Thank you very much!”

She nods, “You’re welcome, I’ll inform Mr. Seo immediately that you’ve arrived. Have a good day!”

You’re trying your best not to let out a loud gasp when you reach the 10th floor. While the lobby downstairs was leaning towards the grandiose side, the current floor opts for a more humbled tone. The space was designed with a monochrome palette with wooden accents. The pillars were painted in black, but what impressed you the most was the wide panoramic window, showing off the breathtaking view the employees got to see every single day. You are then greeted with another person, this time a young man with curly brown hair, skin washed in a healthy tan. His eyes flicker at the sight of you.

“Are you Ms. [Y/L/N]?” He asked you and you nod.

“Great, I’m Donghyuck and I’m Mr. Seo’s current assistant. Please, follow me.” He said quickly, refusing to waste any more second. 

“Nice office, by the way.” Joy jumped into the conversation. 

Donghyuck chuckled, while he continued to lead his way, “Our Mr. Seo hated it when we’re constrained in the same view every day, thus the wide window.”

“You’d be surprised by how many times he forced us to brainstorm with him near the window. There’s a reason why I have my tan on, despite not taking any vacations.” He put his hand next to his mouth, being extra careful not to be caught by his boss talking about him. Both of you just laugh at his remark, making sure you stopped before Donghyuck knocks the door in front of you.

“Mr. Seo?” Donghyuck asked the person in question, being replied with a muted ‘yes’.

“The people from The Paper Plane are here.”

“Oh, please come in!”

Donghyuck enters the room, leaving the door open so that you ladies can enter after him. You didn’t make him wait for long, as you stride your way in. You’re then faced with a very tall man, a handsome chap. His eyes were the color of the earthy brown, glistening like an old copper penny. He greets you with a smile, showing you a dimple that is located on one of his cheekbones. 

“Hi, I’m [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. It’s great to finally meet you.”

“Pleasure is all mine. I’m Johnny Seo, Chief Marketing Officer for NCT Corp.” He said as he shook your hand, letting you smell his fragrance, noting the spicy and woody scent.

“I hope finding your way here was not difficult?” He continues as he made a gesture to let you and Joy sit on the couch at his office. 

“Not at all, Mr. Seo. There was a slight traffic jam at the corner of the street, probably because today is Friday. Otherwise, there’s no way we could miss such a beautiful office.”

A gum smile appears from his face, “Please, just call me Johnny. I might have the chief branded as my title, but I believe I’m too young for people to call me Mr. Seo all the time.”

“But you are an exception, Donghyuck, let’s try to make us look professional in front of these ladies, okay bud?” He then jokingly glared at the younger boy, causing him to hold his laughter. Both you and Joy are quick to realize that the person in front of you is definitely friendly, and kind for loosening up the atmosphere. He probably noticed how nervous Joy was.

“So, let’s get started, shall we? I booked my calendar for this, but surely I’m a busy person!”

You softly giggle, “Right, that is why I got you covered.” A brow raised from Johnny’s face, impressed with the amount of reference you brought with you.

–

“And that, finally concludes everything!”

A joyful squeal came from Joy’s mouth – no pun intended. You didn’t realize the sun was already set when you wrapped up your meeting.

“I know from the beginning I was right for choosing The Paper Plane.” Johnny smiles, followed by him stretching out his shoulder due to hours long of conversing with you. “Your portfolio impresses me, [Y/N], I’m looking forward to our project.”

You helped Joy, cleaning up the papers from the coffee table where you guys were pouring out your ideas. 

“Shit, it’s already this late?!”

“Hush, Joy!” You shrieked in panic, eyes wide open as a warning for Joy who just tragically cursed in front of their client. Thankfully Johnny signed the deal already. If not, there goes your hard work.

Johnny, as kind as he is, just laughs at it, “Please don’t mind me, it’s over our working hours anyway, so we’re allowed to be our personal self again.” He said as if he knows that you’re scared of offending him. “Regardless, is there anything wrong, Joy?”

It’s only because he is Johnny Seo and the charisma that he has that he could easily be casual with someone who just jammed hours-long meetings with him. Joy, glad that she ended up didn’t fuck this meeting, quickly grabbed her phone and texting someone before replying to Johnny. “I’m meeting my girlfriends tonight. We’ve planned this dinner since God-knows-when.”

“Wait, you got an appointment? And here I thought we always eat somewhere after our meetings! It’s our tradition, no?” You whined at the last minute change-of-plan, clearly unhappy with the sudden news.

Joy gasps as her eyes widens, “Oh no! I’m sorry I forgot to tell you!” She said as her eyes continue to move frantically, concerned because you would usually eat dinner with her and now the probability of you having your dinner alone is almost absolute.

Just when you’re about to say you’re going to order a delivery or something, Johnny cuts you off, “If you don’t mind, [Y/N], I’m meeting a friend tonight. You can join me for dinner if you want.”

“Oh, please don’t take it the wrong way,” worried that you might start to have a weird judgment about him. “The person in question is my long-time best friend. We’ve known each other for years and we’re constantly in touch. So a night without my friend whining and complaining about life would actually be a good idea.” 

You then look to Joy’s direction, telepathically asking for her advice. Her face said that you should go with it, but you’re still doubting.

“I’m sure my friend will like you,” he continues. “Also, I think your portfolio, combined with your personality will impress ‘em.”

“Well, uhm,”

It’s not that you hate meeting a new person, you’re just not sure how you could be comfortable by having dinner with a – if you dare to say so; a client that could secure your income for the rest of the quarter. Even so, the addition of his friend that you don’t even know what kind of high profile that person has tripled your worry.

“My treat?” Johnny looks at you, shoulders are now both ups, making it his last straw for you to come with him.

You finally laughed, “Oh dear, you surely know how to win someone’s heart.”

Johnny smirked from ear to ear, “Well, I trained for years. It’s only right for me to be able to do so.”

–

“You’re not treating me at Wolfgang’s.”

You stopped your step after you saw the restaurant sign. Wolfgang’s Steakhouse is a steakhouse that originally came from Park Avenue in Manhattan. Ever since it opened its chain restaurant in Seoul, it has been packed with celebrities and other VVIPs. You’re not the type of person who would be stingy with how you spend your money on food but definitely would think twice if you’re going to splurge that much money over a single meal.

Johnny then turned his way to you, before then a waiter opened the door for him.

“Well, consider it as a token of my apology for taking your time during the meeting, and for taking our time before making it for dinner. Besides, me and my friend are regulars at this restaurant. It’s always our go-to if we want to have a good meal. The steak’s awesome, the wine’s great, and the people here are relatively more, I would say, conservative in comparison to other places? So I can actually hear my partner talking, not some random gibberish from others.”

You just felt like you’re underdressed for Wolfgang’s. Not to the point where you’re ready to scoot your ass on a street-food stall at Myeong-dong (those are awesome, by the way), you’re glad that you still dressed properly to meet this client of yours. But you wished you’ve worn something fancier if you were to know your future patronage is going to treat you for an expensive meal.

But since you’re here and your stomach is clearly not on your side if you want to leave the place, you unconsciously follow behind Johnny’s tall figure, and even if you consider yourself not that petite, Johnny would still be able to hide your stature.

“My friend’s already here.” He said while looking at his phone. “He said he’s seated in our usual spot… Oh, there he is!” His eyes wide-opened at the sight of his friend.

So does yours.

“Jaehyun, buddy! Sorry I got caught in traffic!”

It’s been over a month since the night you left his apartment. He didn’t see you at first, no thanks to Johnny’s tall figure, but once he saw your face, his face perks up, you could’ve sworn you didn’t see his invisible tail wagging.

But whatever that has happened, you find yourself smiling without even realizing it, at the sight of him.

A/N: Sorry if this chapter was a bit too... slow in pace in comparison to the first two ones? At least this is how I envisioned Boom to be, just simply sweet. It was also hard to put the lyric into the chapter I literally squeezed my creative juice for this lols also im sorry the words are getting longer and longer by each chapter

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The First David Job

leverage 1.12

sophie organized the notecards for the intervention

- - - - -

Sophie: Drunk again?

Nate: Are we still unclear? I'm a functioning alcoholic, you know? And the trick is not to get hung up on the "alcoholic." But celebrate the "functioning" part of the sentence.

- - - - -

Nate: Yeah, I- I know all this.

Hardison: No, no, no. See, while you are well-versed in dead-guy art, I myself am not. My entire criminal career is based on technology built after 1981. So I am riveted. Quite so. Please, do go on.

- - - - -

Hardison: Man, am I glad I don't have to break in there. That is one sick security system.

Parker: What, with our tools? Give me three days of prep, it'd be like taking diamonds from the French national bank. That's like taking candy from a baby.

Hardison: I got it.

Parker: A very easy thing to do.

Hardison: Got...it

I love her

- - - - -

Parker: Oh, look, little buddy. (picks up fake statue) That's your new home!

Hardison: Can you please not play with the little naked man? Please.

Parker: I'm not. (sets the statue down)

- - - - -

Eliot: You guys--you know each other?

Ian: Of course. Maggie is Nate’s ex-wife.

Eliot (nervously): Oh.

eliot being completely RATTLED lmfao

- - - - -

Parker: Which conversation do you want to listen to?

Hardison: That's what stereo was invented for.

- - - - -

Hardison: Now, Nate, is Maggie a very good Art Inspector?

Nate: Yeah, she's the best.

Parker: No, no, no, we can't let your ex-wife anywhere near our little naked man!

parker: don’t talk to me or my naked son ever again

- - - - -

Hardison: No, no. Nate, we haven't done any prep. We don't have our tools.

Parker: You want me to break into a secure storage facility with whatever I can scrounge up at the buffet table?

Nate: Pretty much, yeah.

Parker: Cool. I think Sophie left some dresses in here. (turns to look through things)

Hardison: I'll go, too. I, uh, I got a white shirt. I can go wait staff.

(Parker takes off her shirt and Hardison looks the other way, turning the fake statue away from her as well)

hardison is a bashful lil respectful boy and we stan him for it

- - - - -

parker walking in in that amazing dress and everyone looking? good, it’s what she deserves (I’m gay)

- - - - -

Parker: Door's got a silent alarm. (to Sophie) You should hide. (to Hardison) We should pretend to make out.

Hardison: Make what?

(Parker grabs Hardison and they begin to kiss and she pushes the door open a little)

[Founder’s Reception]

(Nate and Eliot turn to look at the building as the sounds of making out come over the comms)

[Museum]

(Sophie goes around a corner out of sight)

Hardison: Let's talk about-- A little bit--

(Parker and Hardison continue to make out. Two guards approach and seem embarrassed. One clears his throat)

Guard: You, uh, bumped the door there. Sets the alarm off.

Hardison: You know what?

Parker: Oh.

Hardison: We, you know how it is.

Parker: Sorry.

(guards walk away and Sophie rejoins them)

Parker: Makeup. (takes makeup from Sophie) Come on. (goes through door)

Hardison: Can we talk about the pretending? That was nice.

(Sophie pushes him after Parker and returns to the party)

poor hardison’s heart must be beating wildly

- - - - -

Eliot: Which one of you did she kiss?

(Sophie sighs)

IMAGINE IF IT HAD GONE THE OTHER WAY THO

- - - - -

parker’s laser grid dodging skills are legendary + her delight when she stands up to see the first david !!!

also we stan a QUEEN who broke into a vault with only a glass of ice, a roll of aluminum foil, gum, and eyeshadow (and a fake makeout sesh)

- - - - -

Hardison: You did not just think about this on the way in from the van.

Parker: Some people do crosswords

- - - - -

Maggie: I-I just, I’m just trying to tell you that I still care.

Nate: No, I-I was –

Maggie: Care what happens to you, I mean. I've never stopped caring about you, Nate

maggie is such a genuinely good person and we love her for it

- - - - -

Parker: Ready?

(Hardison uses his phone to access remote system)

Parker: Come on, come on.

[Parking Lot]

(alarms begin to blare an all the cars)

[Security Control Room]

Guard 1: Hey, the vibration alarm just went off in the restoration room.

Guard 2: Wait. (points at monitor) Look. The car alarms all went off in the parking lot.

Guard 1: Little earthquakes.

Guard 2: Just another tremor.

that’s so smart tho???

- - - - -

Parker tosses the real David to Hardison who catches it)

Hardison: Wha-you-- Don't throw the David.

Parker: You caught it, didn't you?

Hardison: You're crazy

I would have had a HEART ATTACK

- - - - -

Maggie: Adam!

Eliot (turns): Uh, yeah?

(Eliot stops as Nate continues away)

Maggie: Let me give you my number.

Eliot: Great.

[Leverage HQ]

Eliot: I'm sorry your wife gave me her phone number.

Nate: Don't want to talk about it.

Eliot: I-It was only to coordinate where we were gonna go anyway.

Nate: Not talking about it.

hardison is enjoying it so much in the background dnjsjajsjsnnsnn

- - - - -

(Parker puts the statue on the table between them)

Parker: We just stole an $8 million statue on, like, our day off! (she shakes their shoulders happily)

SHES BABY

- - - - -

Pilot: Uh, work? W-what are you talking about?

Hardison: Spot inspection. FAA. Now, look, I want to see this plane's TCAS, VRSM, and 8.1 FM spacing in operation to make sure it's fully functional and in compliance with the new FAA regulations.

Pilot: New regulations?

(Hardison takes out a pen and writes on a clipboard)

Hardison: Pilot unaware of latest regulations.

Pilot: Oh, the new regulations. Of course. Please, come this way. I'll take you right up.

Hardison: Oh, no, no. It's cool, it's cool. I don't need to go up. Just taxi me around the building.

Pilot: Taxi? I thought you need to get up in the air.

Hardison (writes on clipboard): Uncomfortable with black authority figures.

Pilot: Sir, please don't write that.

Hardison: Oh, I will write a letter to your mama if I feel like it.

Pilot: This way, please. It's in order. I-I promise. This way. It's okay. (to copilot) FAA, he's a hard-ass.

(copilot tries to get bags)

Pilot: Screw the bags. Let's go!

this was really funny but also SUCH A GOOD WAY to con people

- - - - -

quinn’s hair did nothing for him in this episode. i said what i said.

- - - - -

(Sophie and Nate get into his car and leave while Quinn continues to take pictures from the open door of the hanger. Eliot walks up behind him)

Eliot: I'm gonna count to three.

(Quinn turns and hits Eliot hard, knocking him across the floor)

Eliot: Nate, we're blown. W—

Nate: Eliot, what’s--

(several feet away, Eliot’s earpiece is lying on the floor. Eliot tries to scramble away, but Quinn kicks him in the ribs, throwing him back, and kicks him several times more)

Quinn: That rib's broken.

(Eliot manages to get to his feet)

Quinn: He said you'd be tougher than this.

quinn: *is a really good fighter*

eliot: *surprised pikachu face*

ALSO the reason eliot was beat up so bad in the beginning was because he kept on trying to get back to his comm every chance he got INSTEAD of truly fighting back. his first priority was warning his team over his own personal safety and ugh we stan a man who cares about his family

- - - - -

,,, imagine you’re driving on a highway and see a chick jump off a bridge onto an armored car, pick its lock and then BREAK INTO said armored car ,,, wyd

- - - - -

poor hardison was ready to relax ,,, he got a soda and made himself some popcorn too

- - - - -

(Quinn and Eliot both stand hunched over, breathing hard)

Quinn: Why won't you go down?

(Eliot laughs, blood falling from his mouth to the floor. Quinn comes at him again, but Eliot catches him and knees him in the chest several times before pushing him away. Quinn falls to his hands and knees, gasping for air)

Eliot: Now that rib's broken.

(Eliot hits Quinn in the face hard, sending him to the floor. Holding his ribs, Eliot walks to the earpiece and puts it in)

payback is sweet

- - - - -

Sterling: Mr. Spencer?

(Quinn is still unconscious as Eliot walks out the hanger doors, breathing hard, limping and holding his ribs)

Eliot: Hey, Sterling. I got some dental work with your name on it. What do you say me and you hook up so I can give it to you?

- - - - -

Sophie: Sterling knows us. He knows how we think.

Nate: So we think like somebody else

THEY THINK LIKE THEIR KIDS

- - - - -

Nate: With a couple broken ribs and a concussion, I don't think Eliot can take out six guys.

(Eliot looks like he’d give it a try)

Nate: You know, but then I thought, "what would Hardison do?"

(Hardison looks at Nate in surprise)

(Eliot pulls out his phone and accesses the computer system, sending a high pitched whine into the comm. devices of the guards. They all bend over in pain. Eliot punches the one closest to him. Nate grabs Geary and slams his head down on the table. Hardison hits another guard in the face with his tied hands)

THAT MEANS ELIOT WAS ALSO THINKING LIKE HARDISON IF HE KNEW WHAT TO DO WITH THE PHONE AND WAS READY FOR IT

also YEET hardison is a badass but wbk

- - - - -

(Parker runs for Sophie. Sterling and his men run for Sophie and Parker. Parker reaches Sophie first and the dive from the roof, Sophie screaming and Parker laughing all the way down)

parker is the only character I’ve ever seen that can scream “yeehaw” and “yahoooooo” without it sounding ridiculous

- - - - -

(Eliot walks into the lobby, holding his ribs. He turns to yell over his shoulder)

Eliot: Hardison!

(Eliot follows Nate toward the door)

Hardison (breathing hard): Wait, Eliot. Eliot, come on.

(Eliot goes back inside)

Eliot: You've got to be kidding me, man.

(Eliot goes to help Hardison carry the painting out)

Hardison: Bring it out, come on.

Eliot: This is just weird.

Hardison: I painted this

okay so we all know that hardison actually hit a lot of cash in the painting but also, eliot actually goes back to help instead of just rolling his eyes and leaving hardison behind. eliot can get annoyed with him but he’d never leave him behind. not even on day one when hardison fell in the exploding building in the nigerian job. eliot was there for him then and he will be there for him for the rest of their lives.

ALSO I really hope eliot got his ribs checked out sometime soon after

- - - - -

Sterling: You're fired. Dust the whole place for fingerprints, okay? I want a forensic computer spec—

(the monitors come to life, showing Hardison’s face)

Hardison: Hey, Sterling. Get out of my house.

(display changes to a 30 second clock that begins to count down)

Sterling: Run. Run!

(all of the men run from the office, coming out onto the street)

Geary: Maybe he was bluffing.

(the entire floor of the building explodes, shooting fire)

Sterling: That's the funny thing about con men. They don't bluff.

- - - - -

the third “scattering scene” of the series

[softboywriting]

Healing Touch | Doctor Shawn AU

Summary: Starting a new job in a new town is hard, but meeting someone like Shawn is going to change all of that. You didn’t move to Twin Pines looking for love, in fact, you thought you were pretty happy with your fiance. But things change in the blink of an eye, everything is not as it seems and you and Shawn will need each other to heal. [fluff] [angst] [mentions of bad relationships] [doctor!shawn] [nurse!reader]

Word Count: 23k

|Masterlist In Bio|

The bright early morning sun shines off the snow outside your bedroom window. The room is aglow with soft yellow and orange light as it fills the nearly empty room and it's white walls. You lay there, staring at the ceiling and feeling nervous, excited, eager to start the day. You had arrived in Twin Pines yesterday night, having flown into the nearest city of Southgate. From there you took an hour long cab ride through the darkest highway across the middle of nowhere in the snow to small town of Twin Pines. Today is the start of a new adventure, a new life with a new job.

You run your hand over your mess of hair and sigh softly. It was hard sleeping without your fiance, Ben. He was still back home, looking for a job in Southgate here before he made the move with you. It wasn't ideal, and frankly you didn't understand why he needed to wait. There was plenty of money for the two of you to live on while he job searched. But Ben was stubborn and insisted on staying behind until he was sure of employment. You look at your phone and there's no missed messages. Ben must still be asleep.

You get up and go through your morning routine, breakfast, bathroom, and a shower before getting dressed in your pink scrubs and putting your coat on to head out to go to work. It's your first day and you had seen the small clinic on the way into town last night. It wasn't far from your place and you're grateful because you won't have a car until it arrives with all your stuff with the moving service.

The bell over the clinic door jingles as you step in. The small lobby is clean, modern and warm. The cozy tones of the waiting chairs and decor combined with the soft smell of vanilla is incredibly inviting. You look around for a receptionist, or even another nurse since they often did double duty in small places like this. “Hello?” You call softly, peeking into a door on your left. It's so quiet you wonder if anyone is truly there.  

“Hello!” A male voice cheers from down the hall behind the reception desk. A young man appears, about your age, maybe a year or two older, and as he gets closer you realize he is very attractive. Tall, dark wavy hair, brown eyes and a strong jawline with gorgeous defined features. He's dressed in fitted black slacks and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. You can't help but wonder why he's working in a doctors office and not on a runway or for a fashion magazine.

“Hi,” you raise your hand and wave awkwardly. “I'm supposed to meet with Doctor Mendes? I'm the new nurse.”

The man grins and comes around the desk to stand before you. He is so damn tall, like at least a foot taller than you. “You're looking at him. You can call me Shawn.” He holds his hand out and you take it. It's strong and warm as he shakes it in yours.

“You're a lot younger than I imagined.”

“Thank you.” He laughs and runs a hand through his hair, fluffing it and making it look even more like he just walked off a photoshoot. “Let me show you the place.”

An hour later and Shawn has given you the full tour of the small clinic. He showed you each room and where it's supplies were. He took you to the office and showed you the filing and his desk. He explained that he shares the clinic with an older man, Doctor James Hudson who's semi retired and works the weekends. Shawn gives you a run down on everything you needed to know. It seems nice and quiet. A complete change of pace from your last job.

______________________

“So, what made you want to move to the pines?” Shawn asks over lunch. He bought lunch from the diner down the street and brought it back for the two of you.

“Just needed a change of pace. My fiance and I have been looking to move out of our hometown for a while and my old job at a clinic there was going to be gone in a few months. The place was closing down and it was find a new job or be out of work. The offer here was great and housing was affordable in this area. I was excited to start a new job, a new adventure in my life.”

“Was?” Shawn asks over a bite of his sandwich. “You said “I was excited.” Are you not now?”

You shrug. “The town is a lot smaller than I thought it would be. I don't think Ben is going to like it here.”

“Ben is your fiance?” He asks and you nod. “I promise it's a nice place. It is definitely quiet but there is plenty to do. Is Ben not here now?”

“No.” You look at your phone and see a reply to your good morning text. “He's back home still. He wanted to get a job before moving up here.”

“In Twin Pines? Or just the city?”

“City. He does construction.”

Shawn nods and polishes off his lunch. “Well, I hope he gets here soon. You seem pretty down.”

You crack a little smile. “Gee thanks.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m just being observant. But really, I hope he gets here soon.”

_______________________

Your first two weeks pass in the blink of an eye. For a small town the clinic was fairly busy. You ended up meeting a lot of residents and they are all very friendly despite being ill or injured. Shawn is sweet, an absolute pleasure to work with. He's funny, smart, kind. He loves to teach you, to have you sit in with him if it's not too busy at the front. He says he wants you to be like his partner, to suggest things and give your input on diagnosis. It's wonderful and you really feel like he is doing a lot to make you feel included.  

It's Friday night, your fifteenth day in town and your stuff finally arrives. There had been some delay due to weather on the drive there. So for the two weeks you were sleeping on a fold out cot that the landlord lent you and living out of a suitcase.

Ben hasn't replied to you all day and you're exhausted. You had been texting him asking about how his job hunt was going. About how the moving company was finally arriving. How your lunch from the diner was really good and you think he'll like it. All that and he didn't say a single thing in return. You decide to call him but as soon as you do, the movers arrive.

Several hours later and your house is sort of put together. It's a haphazard mess of boxes and furniture placed in general spaces where they might belong. You're too tired to care about moving anything so you head to bed. You would call Ben in the morning.

________________________

Loud knocking wakes you from a deep sleep. It was lovely to have your own bed to sleep on again. You were finally getting some good rest and someone had to ruin it. You get up and put your blanket around your shoulders for extra warmth as you head to the front door.

“Hey,” Shawn says with a smile and a wave as you open the door. “Good morning.”

“Good morning? Can I help you?”

He chuckles. “Actually I came to help you. You said the movers were arriving yesterday and I figured since Dr. Hudson is at the clinic on the weekends, I could come help you out.”

You smile and get butterflies flutter in your stomach. Shawn was really this sweet of a guy. “Wow, thank you. You don't have to do that.”

Shawn shrugs. “I know how hard it is to move on your own. So can I come in?”

“Of course sure,” you hold the screen door open and he steps inside, thumping his boots against the door frame so he doesn't track in snow. “How'd you know which place was mine?”

“You said you moved into the townhomes up the street from the clinic. There was only one place for rent that wasn't anymore. I put two and two together.”

“Oh.” You run your hand over your messy sleep hair and laugh. “It's definitely a small town huh?”

Shawn nods and hangs his coat on the hooks beside the door and you can see he's dressed in dark jeans and a soft looking red flannel shirt that stretches with his toned back as he moves. He looks good. Damn good. You look away, chastising yourself because he was your coworker and you have a fiance. You should not be ogling this man.

“Let's get going yeah?”

“I need to get dressed first and have some food but make yourself comfortable. There's some books in the box by the TV stand.” You drop your blanket from your shoulders on to the couch and Shawn chuckles. “What?”

“Your pajamas have ducks on them.”

“Yeah? They're comfortable.”

“It's cute.” He leans against the back of the couch. “I'm used to seeing you in your scrubs. It's different is all.”

“Right,” you look down and pull your shirt out to look at it. “Thanks? I'm going to go get dressed now.”

“I'll be out here. Promise I won't snoop through any boxes.” Shawn laughs and you roll your eyes as you head to your room to get dressed.

_________________________

A few hours later and you're completely unpacked. Everything's in its place and Shawn even helped you rearrange your living room a little. The two of you find out you have a very similar taste in movies and music. Talking with Shawn is easy, natural and comfortable. You get so comfortable that when the two of you are done and collapsed on the couch together you ask his opinion on your situation with Ben.

“Do you think it's weird Ben hasn't been texting me or anything?”

“What do you mean? I see you on your phone at lunch all the time.”

“Usually I'm just texting him about my day. He doesn't reply back.” You stare at the ceiling, making little designs in your head out of the swirled paint. “I’m worried something has happened.”

“Something bad?”

“Yeah, but if that were the case his dad would call me. So I dunno, it's just weird.”

Shawn turns a bit to look at you and you tilt your head to the side to look at him. “Communication is really important. If he isn't talking to you, that sounds like something is wrong. Did you guys have an argument or something?”

“No, I can't think of anything. I'm just confused I guess. It's hard being here alone and not knowing anyone. I mean, I know you now obviously. But you know what I mean.”

“I do. I was new here once too. I totally understand the feeling.”

“When did you move here?”

“Almost a year ago. I finished up med school and after finalizing my divorce I packed up and left the city. James, Dr. Hudson, was looking to semi retire and I was looking for a fresh start.”

Your eyes widen. Shawn was so young. The word divorce throws you for a loop. “You were married? You're like what, twenty five?”

“Twenty seven, and yes I was married. It was,” he pauses, chuckles and shakes his head “it was a huge mistake. We were twenty one and stupid. She...uh...she left me for a guy almost twice my age.”

“Oh my God.” You lay your hand on his arm. “That's insane.”

“It was pretty shitty there for a while. We had been married for a year almost. The divorce took way longer than I would have liked, but that's because she moved to the other side of the country with her sugar daddy.” He rolls his eyes. “It's done now though. I made it through med school and got out of there. I got a fresh start here.”

“That’s great, I'm glad you came out okay. But y'know this story isn't really helping ease my anxiety about Ben.”

“Fuck. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to tell you that to insinuate that Ben is being shady like my ex or something.”

“Oh I know. But it is something I've considered, though I don't really think he would do anything like that. I've known him since I was sixteen. He is probably just busy.”

“Doesn't matter how long you know someone. I learned that lesson too. You should call him. If you're feeling uneasy, talk to him. I'll head out so you can call.” Shawn pushes up off the couch and goes for his coat. “Thanks for letting me help out. It was fun.”

“No, I should thank you. I would still be unpacking for days of you hadn't stopped by.”

“I'll see you on Monday.” He says as you hold the door open for him. “Oh, and about your question earlier.”

“Which one?”

“The one about printed scrubs. I don't mind if you wear them. I like the ones with the roses on them.” He smiles and steps down the porch, heading for his Jeep. “See you later!”

“Bye!” You wave and close the door. Was he flirting with you? Or was he just being genuinely complimentary? He knew about Ben. He knew he was your fiance. No. You're just reading into it.

________________________

You call Ben that evening and lay across your bed while the phone rings and rings. You're a little annoyed, considering it's too early for him to be in bed, but not too late, he could be out with friends. Finally on your third call he answers.

“Babe what's up?”

“What's up? I've been texting you for two days. What gives?”

“Hold on I can't hear you.” He goes quiet and you wait. “Okay, now I can hear. What'd you say?”

“I said I wanna know why you haven't been responding to my texts?”

“Oh shit, I'm sorry. I lost service for a few days. My bill didn't auto pay or something.”

You narrow your eyes at that bullshit. “So when was your phone turned back on?”

“It must have been just tonight. I hadn't checked it all day.” There is sounds of a couple people laughing loudly in the background. “I'm on the phone! Be quiet!”

“Where are you?”

“Dave’s party for his engagement. Him and Sarah are finally going to tie the knot.”

“Oh.” You are kind of annoyed. Why hadn't Sarah told you? The two of you were pretty good friends through Dave and Ben. “I didn't know.”

“Sarah must have forgotten to text you. Anyway, can I talk to you later? They're about to start beer pong and I have to be on Dave's team.”

Really? He was prioritizing beer pong over his fiance who he hasn't spoken to in days. “Yeah. Sure. Call me tomorrow.”

“No problem. Good night babe!”

You drop the phone and let it fall to the bed beside you. Something about all this felt wrong. Sarah would have told you about the engagement. Ben wouldn't have lost service because the bill is paid out of his credit card and you're on the same plan but pay with different accounts so you know if he lost service you would have too. He's lying and you're pissed.

__________________________

Monday you wear your rose printed scrubs to work. Shawn notices immediately and grins the moment you walk in the doors. He knows you're wearing them because he said he liked them and he's right. The day is busy, and for that you're grateful. It's not until lunch that you realize Ben hasn't replied to your texts again, even after the conversation you had Sunday afternoon when he called you back.

“What's wrong?” Shawn asks over the table you're sat together at in the diner.

“Nothing.” You set your phone on its face and smile at the waitress as she drops off your drinks. “It's fine.”

“No, come on. That face says not fine. Is it Ben?”

“Yeah...he's just...he's being weird. I called him on Saturday night after you left and he was at some party and then I talked to him Sunday too. Nothing he told me added up and I'm irritated.”

Shawn leans back and folds his arms over his chest. “What'd he say?”

“He said his phone was shut off and the party he was at was for our friends engagement. But I know the service was fine because we're on the same plan, and our friends didn't text me anything about the engagement. Then on Sunday I asked him about finding a job and he said he had been looking but there was no openings anywhere. But just Friday when Josh Hammond was in he said they are short handed at some construction site in the city and he didn't want to be late for work. I just don't know why Ben would be lying.”

“Did you check Facebook or anything to see of the engagement was legit?”

“Yeah,” you turn your phone over and bring up your Instagram. “That's another thing. I think Ben blocked me, and so did Sarah and Dave. I don't know what's going on.”

“That's is definitely a red flag. Have you call your friends?”

“No, I didn't want to seem like that crazy fiance who is untrusting of her partner.”

Shawn scoffs and rolls his eyes. “There's a fine line between paranoid and something actually going on and trust me, you're on the side with the signs pointing to some sketchy shit.” He leans forward and takes a drink. “If I were you, I'd go back home and try to get some more information while no one knows you're in town.”

“I...I'm scared though. What if Ben is cheating on me?”

“Then good riddance. I sincerely hope that isn't the case because you absolutely do not deserve to go through that kind of heartache. It's shitty. But you need to know what's going on.”

“But I need to be at work.”

“As your boss, I'm giving you time off to go take care of this. Find out what's going on so you can move forward with your life.”

You sigh and turn your phone off, putting it in your purse. The server arrives with your food and you smile at her in thanks. “I'll check into flights tomorrow.”

“Seriously. I hope it's nothing bad going on and he's just trying to surprise you or something. But either way, you need to know.”

“Right. Thanks by the way. For the time off and stuff.”

Shawn smiles around a bite of his burger and covers his mouth with his napkin. “You're welcome.”

__________________________

Unfortunately due to an impending snow storm, the next available flight out of the city won't be until next Monday. It's fine. You'd just have to go crazy with your thoughts while stuck in a blizzard in the middle of nowhere. It was really, really fine.

Wednesday. The snow starts in the early morning hours and by the time you wake up for work there is already four inches on the ground on top of the snow that was there already. The snow shows no signs of stopping and you can't even see across your backyard to the treeline a few yards away.

You check your phone when you get out of the shower to find Shawn has texted you that the clinic would be closed today. Wonderful. You wouldn't even have work to distract you now. Just perfect. You get dressed in some sweatpants and an old tee shirt since the only thing you'll be doing is binge watching TV and maybe cleaning the place a little.

A knock at your door shortly after you finish breakfast, a pop tart, half a pint of ice cream and two cups of coffee, makes you think that you've lost your mind. Surely no one was going to be out in the middle of the snow storm. It had to be the screen door rattling in the wind again.

The knock comes again and this time you look out the peephole to see who it is. All you see is a bulky scarf and some chin. You open the door and find Shawn bundled up to his eyeballs standing on your front porch.

“What in the hell are you doing?”

“Visiting.”

“At nine on a Wednesday morning during a blizzard?”

Shawn looks back at the snow falling heavily, whiting out the world as you know it. “Nah, this isn't a blizzard yet. Just heavy snow.”

“Either way! Why are you here? Don't you have a couch of your own to lay around on all day? Or some paperwork to go over?”

“Nope. See, there's this girl and she is going through a rough time right now. And I know she wants answers but this snow storm is making it kind of hard. So I thought maybe I should stop by and keep her from going insane.” He grins at you and you just cannot believe what a dork he is. “I'd really appreciate it if she let me in. I kind of walked across town to see her.”

“Oh my god, come on then,” you laugh as you hold the door open for him to step in.

Shawn sheds his layers slowly and you hang his coat and puffy black coveralls over a chair you drag to the entryway. He puts his hat and scarf on the hooks by your coat and he kicks his boots off on the shoe tray.

“You're ridiculous.” You shake your head, watching him do a little stretch. “You should have just stayed home. I'm fine.”

“Somehow I doubt that, and that's why I'm here.”

Hours later and you and Shawn have watched two movies, eaten a few bowls of popcorn, some sandwiches and a bag of cheese puffs between the two of you. It's well into the late afternoon and you're feeling tired, sluggish from the lazy day.

“How's your family like Ben?” Shawn asks just as you start to doze off.

“I thought we weren't supposed to be talking about him. You're supposed to distract me from that.”

“I know, it just, I dunno. You could have your parents check on him?”

You shake your head and laugh. “My parents would rather push him off a bridge than talk to him for any length of time.”

“That bad?”

“My parents always wanted better for me. That's what they say anyway. They don't think Ben is going anywhere in life. They think he parties too much and acts like he's eighteen.”

“Does he?”

“No? Well I guess sometimes? He's just having fun. It's not like he's not working, he just goes out on the weekends with friends.”

“Do you go with him?”

“Not usually. I'm not that into house parties and stuff anymore. I'm usually pretty tired from work and I have errands to run.”

Shawn shakes his head. “What do you and him do together?”

You're quiet. It wasn't until now that you realize you're not really sure what you and Ben have in common anymore. In college you would go to parties and drink and play games, but that was college. You can't remember the last time the two of you went out for dinner or just sat in and watched a movie like today. “I...don't know.”

“I'm not a like a relationship counselor or anything, but I think you guys need to reconnect. Maybe the distance isn't so bad for him because you weren't as close as you once were before you left? Have you wondered about breaking up? I'm not say you should, but I mean in the event that he wants to or if you do?”

You lean your head back and close your eyes. It's hard to think about. You and Ben have known each other since you were sixteen, been together for five years and engaged for almost one of them. But...this move, the new job, meeting Shawn, it's made you see the cracks. Ben never wanted to talk about a wedding, never wanted to plan beyond the ring. Why propose to someone and then not want to have a wedding? Then there's this whole game of phone tag and social media fallout. The cracks are getting wider and you're starting to see through them. Soon it's all going to fall apart.

“I think you're right.” You look over at Shawn and he raises his eyebrows. “I think we need to talk and find out where this is going. If he...if he loved me he would have moved and found a job here by now right?”  

“I can't say for sure and honestly I don't know.”

“If your fiance moved for a new job, would you go with them?”

“Yeah, but that's me. I have a job that can find work nearly anywhere.”

“Yeah...so does he.” You reach for the remote and turn up the volume. You're done talking about Ben. It's too much. You want to enjoy the rest of your snow day and forget the rest of the world.

__________________________

Friday. You called Ben before work. It's always you calling him. He never calls you first. You talked to him about your last few days, carefully omitting the fact you hung out with Shawn. It wasn't that you wanted to hide your friendship with Shawn, it's just you know how Ben is. He will get jealous and start comparing himself to Shawn. Now you think about it, maybe you should mention him and see how Ben reacts.

“What're you doing tonight, ducky?” Shawn asks, leaning against the front desk before his next appointment arrives, his biceps straining against the sleeves of his red button down. God he was fit.

“Ducky?” You raise your eyebrows.

“Your scrubs, they have baby ducks on them.” Shawn points to your top. “They're cute.”

You look down and smile. “They're my favorite pair. I love the little yellow ducklings.”

“They definitely are very adorable. So what're you doing after work?”

“Nothing. Probably laying on my couch and watching reruns of NCIS.”

“Want to hang out with me?”

“Sure.” You smile big. This would be the perfect opportunity to get a reaction from Ben and see what he thinks about Shawn. He still followed you on Snapchat so you could post a photo or something to your story. “What are you thinking?”

“There is a bar by the park that has really good food. Ever have fried pickles?”

“No? What the hell is that a thing?”

“You're gonna love it.” Shawn turns and you look up as your three o'clock appointment has arrived. “See you at closing time?”

You chuckle and roll your eyes. “Yes, but I have to go home an change before we go out.”

“Me too. Meet at my place? It's pretty close to where I want to take you. It's nothing fancy though, so don't get too dressed up.”

“It's not a date! I am not gonna get dressed up!”

“Yeah I know, but like the place is a bar and grill. Nothing fancy. Just...thought I'd warn you.”

“Maybe you just can't handle me being all dressed up.” He looks surprised and you wave him off. “I'm kidding. Nothing around here is fancy enough for me to get dressed up for so don't worry. I'll meet you at your place around five.”

__________________________

At just before five you find yourself walking up to Shawn's house and his garage is open. You'd only been by once before and it was to drop off a book you borrowed. In the garage there is a black and red sport bike. It's one of those expensive ones racers used. Not something you'd expect to see in the garage of a sweet friendly doctor.

Shawn steps out of the door to the house and waves at you. “Hey, you made it. Did you walk?”

“Yeah. I figured why waste the gas.”

“Ah, whatcha looking at?” He chuckles as he looks to where you're gawking at the bike. “My bike?”

“Yeah. You don't seem the type.”

“My dad and I rebuilt that a few years ago. He got it really cheap one summer for my birthday because I always wanted one. I used to go dirt bike racing when I was a teenager.” He lifts his sweater and shows your his lower stomach where there's a thin scar up his side. “Flipped over the handlebars when I was sixteen and the bike came down on me. That was a nasty accident.”

“Ohmygod, that’s horrible.” You run your fingers over the scar and he giggles, shirking away instinctively. “Oh sorry, does it hurt?”

“Tickles.” He grins and leads you to the doorway before putting in the code to close the door. “Maybe when the weather isn't too cold I'll take you for a ride.”

“Oh yeah? With a scar like that I'm not sure I want to ride with you.”

“Oh come on,” he laughs and unlocks his Jeep. “I'm a much better driver now.”

“Uh huh sure.”

A short while later you find yourself in a little booth at the bar Shawn mentioned. It's right across from the park and you sit by the windows to get a good view of the lit up trees lining the path that circled it. It's beautiful. Like twinkling stars had landed in the trees of this tiny town.

“You're flying out Monday right?”

You look away from the lights and stare at the man across from you. He has no business looking so attractive under the dim golden light of the lamp overhead. Everything about Shawn was gorgeous, from his eyes to his lips, his ears to his shoulders. Everything. It's hard not to feel something for him. “Yeah. Monday at noon.”

“Good.”

“Maybe I shouldn't go though. Maybe I should wait longer.”

Shawn picks up a mozzarella stick out of the basket of appetizers in front of the two of you. He had ordered the combo so you could try everything. “Don't get cold feet now. You need to know what's going on. You can't be stressed for much longer, it's not good for you. Trust me. I'm a doctor.”

You roll your eyes. “I'm just worried I'm paranoid.”

“You're not. Believe me, from a guy who's been cheated on and dumped, it's best to trust your gut. Don't make excuses for Ben.”

“But-”

“Ah!” Shawn shoves a fried pickle in your mouth and you make a noise of surprise and annoyance. “I'll drive you to the airport if I have to. You're going. That's that.”

You swallow your pickle and take a drink of water. God damn it was spicy. “Fine. I'm going.”

He smiles smugly then points out the window to a horse drawn carriage that's trimmed with Christmas lights. “Check it out. They have the horses out.”

Your eyes go wide. It's beautiful, like Cinderella's carriage but with blue and white lights. “Oh my God! I've always wanted to ride in one of those.” The horse trots on by with a family in the carriage that are looking at the tree lights and decorations around the park.

“Why don't we take a ride? It's like six dollars.”

“What? No, I mean, can we?”

Shawn dusts his hands off and laughs. “Of course we can. Let's finish up here and I'll take you to the place where they sell tickets. I think it's runs until nine so we got time.”

You sit back in your seat, grinning like a kid. Ever since you were little you had wanted to ride in one of those. There was one that used to run in town during Christmas time when you were in college but Ben never wanted to go on it. This was going to be perfect.

The carriage ride is everything you hoped and more. The wind settled down and it's a chilly crisp night. Shawn is sat beside you, arm over the seat behind you, taking it all in as you are. His body heat keeps you nice and warm.

“This is amazing. I'm just at a loss for words.” You snap a picture of some giant ornaments on the park lawn. “I've always wanted to feel like a princess on her way to the ball.”

“And you should get to.”

“It's childish though isn't it?”

“No. It's not childish to want to feel a certain way and it's definitely not childish to do something you've always wanted to do.”

You turn your phone and point it at him. He grins big and goofy for you. You snap the photo and he laughs. “You're fun y'know.”

“You are too.”

“Thank you. For everything, I don't know what I would have done without having you to talk to.”

“You're welcome, and I'm always here.”

The carriage comes to a stop and the two of you get ready to get out. There's a lady standing by the ticket booth who is one of the people who run the attraction. She waves as she comes to help you and Shawn down safely. “Would you like a picture together with the carriage?”

You look to Shawn and he shrugs, leaving it up to you. “Sure, I wanna remember my first carriage ride forever.”

You pass your phone over to the lady and she backs up to take the picture. Shawn steps closer and puts his arm around your shoulders. On the count of three you grin big and cheesy. The lady gives you back your phone and you look at the picture. Shawn is grinning just as big and dorky. It's a cute photo and you can't wait to post it to your Snapchat.

__________________________

Monday you head to the airport in the city. Shawn stopped by before he opened the clinic to wish you well. You're nervous. Nobody responded to your Snapchat story with you and Shawn and photos from the carriage. You're not sure if that's a good thing or not. But what makes you the most nervous is finding out the truth.

Two hours later and you're on a flight home. You're sick, throwing up from nerves in the plane's bathroom. This is horrible. You don't want to go home. You don't want to find out what's going on. The plane lands and you head straight to Ben's apartment. It was better to get this over with as soon as possible.

You take a cab to his place and ask them to wait. You're not sure why. You have a hunch he isn't there. You enter the door code and head up to his place.

“Hello?” A man asks, opening it and you realize it is not Ben. “Can I help you?”

“I’m sorry. I was looking for Ben Grayson. He used to live here?”

“Oh. Well, I just moved in two weeks ago. Sorry.”

“Right. I'm sorry for bothering you.”

“No problem. Hope you find him.” The guy shrugs and closes the door with a soft smile.

You turn and face the elevator doors and sigh. Ben moved. He moved and didn't tell you. Was he heading for Twin Pines? No. He's been out of this place for two weeks at least.

You head out and get in the cab, asking the driver to take you to Shirley's Diner. Ben's sister Megan worked the day shift there. She would know where he is. You don't particularly want to let anyone know you're in town but you aren't sure where else to look for Ben.

“Megan!” You call out as you take a seat at the vintage counter in the diner. The girl at the end of the counter turns and looks at you like she was seeing a ghost.  

“Holy crap, you came back?”

“Yeah, not permanently. I'm looking for Ben. He moved out of his apartment?”

“What do you want to talk to Ben about?”

“He's been acting weird and not answering calls and he still hasn't moved to Twin Pines. I wanted to find out if something was wrong.”

Megan leans in and drops her voice. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?”

“No? Why?”

“Because you and Ben broke up? When you left you called it quits. He said you didn't think he fit into this new chapter in your life.”

“What?!”

Megan shushes you. “Yeah, is that not true?”

“Megan. No. He's lying. I've been trying to get him to come up there with me. I've been calling and texting like every day and he hardly responds. He blocked me on Instagram and Facebook. So did Dave and Sarah.”

“Oh...shit. I knew it seemed weird, like, you guys were engaged.” Megan grabs her notepad and scribbles something down. “This is Ben's new address. But...”

“But what?”

“He might have company.”

“Oh you have to be kidding me.” Your stomach churns and you thank Megan as you make for the doors. The address on the paper isn't too far from the diner so you decide to walk, to rehearse what you're going to say to the lying cheating bastard.

Ben's car is on the side of the street and you debate going full Carrie Underwood on it before you see the security camera on the building. You made decent money, but not enough to get yourself out of the trouble that would put you in.

You put in the door code that Megan gave you with the address and sure enough you get in. Ben's apartment is on the first floor and you head straight for it, counting the doors as they pass until you get to number seven. Two sharp knocks on the door and you step to the side out of view of the peephole.

The door locks rattle and then the door opens. You step forward and watch as Ben's face goes white. You thought Megan looked like she had seen a ghost, Ben may as well have seen a zombie.

“Hey, new place huh?” You smile sarcastically. “Funny, I thought you couldn't afford a different place with your income alone.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh no Ben. The real question is what are you doing here?” You look around the hall which is nicer than his entire last apartment. “What are you doing in a new apartment on the west side of town? Why aren't you in Twin Pines with me?”

“Well, I just had to move because of the uh...the rent. So I moved in with a friend. I-I’m still trying to find work in Twin Pines. I told you that.”

You step forward and he holds on to the door for dear life. He's hiding something. “Right, right. Well I happen to know that in Southgate they're short on construction workers. Seems a man of your abilities would be able to benefit from that. Y'know, if you had actually looked into a job up there. But you haven't, have you?”

Ben rolls his eyes and you could just punch him square in the mouth. “I don't qualify for tho-”

“Oh cut the shit Ben! I know you lied to everyone that we broke up when I left. Your sister told me the whole fucking story.” You shove the door open and on the couch just beyond the entryway you see a blonde girl looking your way. “Yeah. Figured that one.”

“Listen I-”

You hold your hand up. “No. There is nothing you can say that will fix this. You cheated on me, and for God knows how long if you've moved in with her.” You slide the ring he gave you off your finger and throw it on the ground. “Take your ring.” You look to the girl on the couch. “I hope you're comfortable with knowing that he's been cheating on me, his now ex fiance, the entire time he's been with you. I hope you don't have to fake it as often as I did.”

Ben steps back and you head down the hall to the doors. He says something but you don't hear him over the blood rushing to your head. You don't stop walking until you get to a bus bench around the corner. It's then that everything comes crashing down around you and your emotions get the best of you. You crumple, body deflating as you sink heavily into the metal bench.

Your phone buzzes and you look at it, expecting it to be Ben trying to talk his way out if this. It's not. It's Shawn. He wants to know if you landed okay and if you've talked to Ben yet. You hit the call button and hold the phone up to your ear.

“Hey! Did you get my text? Did you land okay? How was the flight?”

You take a shaky breath that turns into a sob. “It's over. You were right, I was right.”

“Oh no. You've already seen him? What happened? Where are you? Are you okay?”

“H-he lied to everyone and said we b-broke up.” You wipe your nose and try to take a deep breath. “He's been seeing someone probably since before I left.”

“For fucks sake. I'm sorry. Are you okay? Physically are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. I'm just sitting here crying at a bus stop. I'm gonna c-come home.”

Shawn sighs heavily. “I should have gone with you. God you don't deserve to be alone right now.”

“I'm fine. I'm going to go to the airport and get a flight. I don't want to be here any longer.”

“Let me know when your plane leaves. I'll pick you up in Southgate.”

“Shawn, no. You have to work.”

“James comes in at four today for urgent care hours. I will be there.”

You look around take a deep breath again, trying to get your self calmed down. “I'll see you then.”

__________________________

The second you walk into the boarding terminal leading to the main concourse of the airport you see Shawn. He's heading straight for you, eyes trained on yours as he pushes past people.

“You came.” You smile weakly.

“Of course I did.” He wraps his arms around you and that's it. It's all over and you start crying. You grip his back and he holds your head to his shoulder as you shake.  “I know, I know. It's okay, let it out.”

“I hate him,” you sob. “I hate him more than anything.”

“He's a piece of shit. You don't deserve this.” Shawn pulls back to look down at you and wipes your cheeks. “No one deserves to be screwed over, but especially not you.”

“It hurts.”

“I know. Take it one day at a time, I promise it'll get better.”

“I just want to go home.”

“I can do that. Do you have luggage?”

You gesture to the bag on your back. “Just this. I didn't plan on staying.”

“Good.”

The two of you walk out to the parking area and you don't see his Jeep. You look around just in case but there's no car in sight.

“Where's your car?”

Shawn chuckles. “About that. The Jeep wouldn't start for some reason so it's sitting in the clinic parking lot.”

“How the hell did you-” That's when you see it. The sport bike from his garage. It's sitting a few parking stalls down from the walkway you're standing on. “You brought the bike?”

“I had to come get you.”

“Shawn, I would have called a cab. It's so cold, were going to freeze.”

Shawn shakes his head and grabs the helmet off the handle. “I promised you I'd be here. We'll be fine. Here, put this on.”

“And where's yours?” You pull it on and buckle under your chin.

“That is mine. I'll be fine. I promise I won't speed.” He climbs on and scoots forward for you to sit behind him. You get on and wrap your arms around his chest, pressing your head against his back. “Ready?”

“As ready as I'm gonna be.”

Shawn moves and the bike starts up, rumbling to life beneath you. He takes off slow, heading for the parking lot gates. Once he hits the highway it's all you can do to hold on to him and that's all you want to do. Hold on to Shawn and never let go.

__________________________

One month later

Picking yourself up is hard after having the world come crumbling down around you. The echoes of the fall out haunt you day in and day out as things remind you of him constantly. You want to make new memories, and you are, but it's hard. Cutting ties with everyone but your parents back home is the hardest thing you've ever done, but somehow it feels right. Maybe Ben was a little bit right in his lies. This is a new chapter in your life and he doesn't fit in. No one from back home did.

“So, uh, what're you doing this Saturday?”

You look up from the desk and leaning on the counter is none other than Luke Dempsey, the mechanic down the street. He was a fairly handsome guy and he knew it too. Tall, fit, sandy blond hair, somehow always a little tan even in the dead of winter.

“This Saturday?”

“Yup. Got plans?”

“Not really. It's not like I can leave town with the weather coming in.”

Luke grins big, teeth too white to be natural. “How bout you and I go out for dinner?”

You take a deep breath and relax your shoulders a bit. Were you ready for this? Yes. Yes you were. You cannot let Ben haunt you. It's over. It's time to move on and live in the now. “Sure, six okay?”

“Absolutely. I'll pick you up.”

You smile and nod, waving as he leaves the office. To your right you can see Shawn step out of a patient room and give you a questioning look. You shake your head and go back to your paperwork.

__________________________

“What're you doing this Saturday?”

“I have a date.”

“What? With who?”

You look up from your salad and smile just a little. “Luke down at the auto shop.”

Shawn rolls his eyes and scoffs.

“What?”

“That guy is a tool. He's more interested in his hair and whitening his teeth than he is in a relationship. Why would you want to go out with him?”

You set your fork down and cross your arms, staring at Shawn across the table. “I thought you'd be excited I'm actually trying to move on from Ben.”

“I am, but not with that guy.”

“You got something you want to tell me?”

Shawn pushes his salad around in it's bowl, becoming very interested in his croutons suddenly. “I just don't think he's a good idea.”

“It's one date. If it's shit I won't pursue it.”

“Yeah, yeah you're right. I'm sorry.”

“What're you doing on Saturday?”

“Nothing, just wanted to see if you'd come over and watch a movie with me or something.”

“I'll have to take a raincheck.”

“Yeah,” he sighs softly and keeps eating.

You return to your lunch and there is a quiet tension between the two of you as you both finish your food in silence. You can't say you didn't expect some sort of reaction out of Shawn about the date. The two of you obviously have chemistry but you're not sure if you should date your boss, or was he just a coworker? Besides, you don't want to push boundaries.

__________________________

“So I got into working on cars because my grandpa used to take me to his shop all the time. I think it's because my mom couldn't afford a babysitter but it's cool. I learned a lot growing up.”

You smile and nod as Luke keeps prattling on about himself. Seriously the last hour has been the Luke Show. You haven't gotten a word in edgewise and it's goddamn annoying. The last time you spoke was to order, and even after you said you didn't want an appetizer, he ordered one. Then proceeded to ask why you didn't have any but no need for your response because he just kept talking.

You glance at the clock over the bar and roll your eyes. The two of you have been in this bar for an hour now. Yes. A bar. Luke's idea of a good date was taking you to O'Malley's Pub and getting you bar food and drinks made by a bartender who looks like they're eighteen. It's not going great.

“That's so funny right?”

“Hmm? Yeah.” You chuckle and sigh.

Luke tosses back the rest of his light beer, gotta watch those calories you know, and grabs his phone from his pocket. He actually answers a text. Sitting there in front of you. On a date. He texts someone and even laughs. That's the final straw.

“I think we should call it a night. I told Dr. Hudson I would help him with some paperwork tomorrow morning.” You grab your purse and slide out of the small booth.

Luke puts his hat on and lays a couple bills on the table for the tab. “Alright, I'll drive you home sweetheart.”

He could keep the pet names. You don't want to see him again if you could help it. The drive to your house is quick, it's not too far from the center of town. You slide out of his overly large truck and land in the pile of snow at the end of your driveway. He doesn't get out and help you, just leans over and says goodnight before driving off. Ugh. What a tool.

You walk up to your house and suddenly, right as you step on the porch, your feet go out from under you. One moment you're on you’re upright, the next you're on your back. A wave of nausea washes over you and you're dizzy for a moment before your head and butt begin to ache horribly. You lay there staring up at the darkened evening sky, lit up to a soft brown color from the snow reflecting back. It's cold and you feel like if you move you're going to throw up.

In your pocket your phone buzzes. You know you need to get up, that you cannot lay here. You have to check out your head and get some heat or something on your backside. Ever so slowly you reach into your pocket and get your phone, stomach revolting as your vision gets all fuzzy from the movement. You press around on the screen until you hear ringing and bring it up to your ear.

“Hello? Hello? Did you butt dial me?”

“Shawn, I fell. Can you come over?”

“What? At home?”

“I'm outside the house.”

“Oh my God. I'll be right there. Stay on the phone.”

You do as he says and after a few minutes, your butt going numb in the cold snow, you finally hear tires crunching in the snow nearby. Shawn's footsteps are unmistakable and he drops to his knees beside you, his beautiful face coming into view.

“Hey,” you smile and close your eyes. “There's ice on the steps.”

“Yeah no shit honey.” His hands go to your head and he carefully parts your hair, turning your head ever so slightly. “Are you dizzy?”

“I was. It's fading now. I didn't hit my head too hard. My body hurts though.”

Shawn slides his hands under your upper back and helps you sit up. “Your head looks okay. I'll still check for signs of a concussion. Let's get inside and I'll go over you.”

Minutes later you're stripped down to your underwear in your bedroom while Shawn looks over your back. He says there's scrapes from the cement where your lower back and butt hit. There will definitely be bruising. You feel like someone's beaten you with a baseball bat.

“I know you want to rest but I don't want to risk it. I am not seeing any signs of a serious concussion but I'd like you to stay up a while longer. I'll stay just in case.”

“Can you get me an ice pack from the freezer?”

“Of course.” Shawn gets up and goes to the kitchen.

“You were right by the way!” You shout as you put on a big tee shirt and some shorts with a little more effort than usual. “Luke is a total tool bag!”

“Oh yeah?” Shawn returns with the ice pack and you lay down with it on your back. He stretches out on the bed next to you and turns on your TV.

“Yeah. I should have gone home with you instead.”

“Hindsight is twenty twenty.”

“Sure is.” You lean your head on his shoulder and his puts his arm around your back. It's unmistakable, the way you both feel about each other. He knows you don't mean go home as in friends going to hang out at someone's house.

________________________

“How's your back?” Shawn asks from the exam room opposite your desk.

You look up and he is washing his hands in the little sink. It's been a week since you slipped and Shawn's kept a close eye on you. “It's okay. I've got a little achiness but nothing I can't manage.”

“I think I have a new prescription for you.” He walks out of the exam room and hands you a little slip of paper.

You unfold it and see it says TLC on it. “Shawn, really?”

“Yes.”

“I'm fine.”

He leans on the top of the desk, arms crossed as he stares down at you. “You need to rest. I'm serious. Doctor's orders.”

“And who's going to run check in and help get patients ready?”

“I'll get a temp or see if Rhonda will pick up a few extra days.”

“You know she only works weekends with Dr. Hudson.”

Shawn scrubs a hand over his face. “One day? Just one day of rest?”

“Are you asking or telling?”

“Depends. You wanna defy your doctor?”

“You're my doctor now huh?” You grin cheekily and he flushes at the flirtiness.

“You know what I mean. One day. Tomorrow. You're off.”

You sigh in defeat. He was right. You needed to just relax and lay down, take a hot bath and chill out. Straining your back every day wasn't helping at all. One day. You'd take just one day off...and the weekend. Dammit. That was his plan all along probably.

________________________

Sunday morning you wake up and feel much better than you have been. You took a few of the pain medication that Shawn prescribed you. Nothing too serious, just a higher dose of an advil equivalent than available over the counter. It's actually really nice to just lay in bed and not think about anything. No aches and pains. No thoughts of Ben. Nothing. Just the peaceful sound of your fan over head and the cardinals outside singing their morning song.

Christmas was coming fast and you didn't have anything for anyone. Not that you had many people to buy for anymore. Your plan was originally to have your parents fly out and visit you and Ben for the holiday. But that just didn't seem like a good idea now. You would just fly home and see them.

You look at your phone on your pillow and see Shawn's name pop up. He's texting, asking if you're up and if you want to go shopping with him in the city.

“Good morning,” you laugh as you hold the phone up to your ear. You'd much rather call Shawn than text. His voice was soothing and you quite liked when he talked, and even though you heard him talking forty hours a week, it never got old.

“Good morning to you too. Must be pretty cozy in that bed if you're still in it.”

“It's pretty warm. I've got a fuzzy blanket too. Jealous?”

Shawn laughs and you beam. “Oh definitely. So how are you feeling? Up to shopping in the city? I haven't gotten any presents yet and it's a week or so away from Christmas.”

“I'm doing a lot better. I guess my doctor was right. But shouldn't I be resting?”

“I bet your doctor knows a thing or two.” You grin at his sarcasm. Gods he was wonderful. “And I think I can convince him to let you go out.”

You laugh at his dorkiness. “I think I'm up for shopping. Funny thing is, I was just thinking about buying some stuff for my parents. I also need to look for some new snow boots, mine are pretty worn out.”

“I'll pick you up in half an hour?”

“Sure. See you then.”

Shawn brings you coffee when he shows up and he even put your favorite vanilla caramel creamer in it for you. He's the best. You sip on it while he drives toward Southgate and the two of you listen to the morning talk radio. It's a comfortable silence between you two, a sleepy and soft one as the trees whiz by with their snow covered branches. The roads have been cleared recently so the drive isn't so long, only half an hour or so.

The two of you head into the mall where Shawn has stopped and immediately you feel like you're back home, but in a good way. Being in a big city again felt strange almost.

“Anywhere you wanna go first?” You ask as Shawn strolls along the shiny tiled floor aimlessly beside you. He's in jeans and a sweater, and it's such a simple outfit but on him it's incredibly gorgeous.

“I thought about getting my mom some puzzles at the entertainment store. I'm sure they probably have a pretty good selection.”

“My mom loves puzzles too. We should definitely go there.”

As the two of you browse the game section at the big games and toys shop you can't help but wonder why Shawn hasn't shopped already. He didn't seem the type to put things off, and especially not something important like Christmas.

“I hate last minute shopping.”

Shawn looks up from the pile of board games he's looking at. “Yeah, me too. I don't usually do this sort of thing though.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I'm kind of hoping Christmas will just like...not happen?”

You chuckle and shake your head at him. “What does that even mean? You don't like Christmas?”

“Yes I like it.” He laughs. “It's just since my divorce and all the crap with my ex, my parents are always asking about my love life. Every year for the last five years I hear the same spiel. They're so worried they won't ever get more grandkids.”

“More?”

“My sister Aly, she's two years younger, she has a little daughter. But she said she doesn't want more kids after she had Grace. It was hell on her body.”

“Oh. Wow.”

Shawn waves it off. “She's okay and so is Grace. But my parents are just so invasive every Christmas. I'm tired y'know?”

You grab a puzzle with some cats on it and decide that it's definitely the best one you've seen. Your mother loves cats. “We could spend Christmas together? I'm sure the theater will be open and the chinese places here in the city?”

“I'd love to but my parents expect me. I can't not show up. You don't have plans?”

“I do but I don't? My original plan was to fly my parents here to see me and Ben. Now I think I'll just fly home and spend the holiday with them maybe.”

“Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.”

You shake your head, not wanting to dwell on Ben. “Yeah it's whatever. Come on, let's go check out the movie place and see what they’ve got on sale.”

________________________

“Hey Mendes!”  

Shawn turns around and a snowball you lob at him hits him square in the chest. The white compact snow explodes across his dark coat. “Really? A snowball fight?”

The last few days have been hectic at the office. Today was no exception. You scoop up your next projectile and he just stands there. “Yep. You need to chill out. Better duck.” You send your next one sailing and it whizzes past his head.

“Hey!”

“I said duck!”

Shawn scoops up some snow and his ball is much larger than yours. “You're gonna pay for that first one.”

“Am I? Or are you all talk?” You bounce a ball back and forth in your hands. “Gonna fight me?”

Shawn sends his flying and it explodes across your stomach. “You started this war!”

“And I'll win it!”

Shawn ducks behind his Jeep in the car lot in front of the now closed clinic. It had been a very long day, there were fifteen appointments since it was less than a week before Christmas and the clinic would be closed from Christmas Eve until the day after. Both of you were stressed to the max.

“No fair! I don't have shelter!”

“Maybe you should have driven to work!” Shawn shouts as a snowball comes for you over the hood of his Jeep. “You came unprepared!”

“Cheater! No shelter! Face me like a man!”

Shawn stands up and comes around the front, three balls in hand. “Like a man huh?”

“Yeah.” You smirk, throwing a ball and nailing him in the chest again. “Like a man.”

He strides towards you and you back up, he aims and hits you right in the leg. His next one hits your stomach and finally his last one gets you right in the forehead. The snow rains down in your eyes and on your face and you are stunned still.

“Oh shit. I didn't mean to hit your face.”

You wipe the melting snow off your face as Shawn quickly approaches mumbling apologies. He holds your head to check that you're okay. He doesn't pay attention to the ball in your hand or that it's suddenly going up the back of his coat.

“I win!” You whisper with a smirk.

Shawn shakes around, getting the snow out as it melts against his button up shirt. “You little shit!”

“I got your mind off work didn't I?” You stop him, grab the back of his coat and the snow falls out.

“You did.” He sighs. “Thank you. It was a shitty day and the holiday looming so near isn't helping either.”

“I know. You wanna come with me to Southgate? I have to pick up the bed frame I ordered the other day while we were at the mall.”

Shawn shakes his head. “I think I just want a nap and some dinner. Thank you though, and if you need help getting it out of your car let me know. I'll stop by tomorrow morning if you need me.”

“I should be good. I'll see you tomorrow.”

________________________

One moment you're singing along with the radio to some song you barely know and the next you are panicking. The steering wheel is jerking to the left as you slide down a hill and you can't control your car. You head straight for the barriers on the side of the road where a creek ran under a small bridge. You just miss the barriers and go into the snow heading for the treeline.

You don't remember the crash. You don't remember anything besides seeing the trees approaching rapidly and jerking the wheel to try and stop. When you open your eyes you are laying on the roof inside your car, a tree limb is through the window to your right.

“Fuck...fuck.” You wiggle your fingers and toes, tilt your head side to side. All basic function seems to be fine. You feel your chest and stomach, tender but no blood. Your neck hurts a little but it's not bad. Your body aches as you make a move to get up. Glass crunches under you and you maneuver yourself onto your hands and knees. The remains of your seatbelt hang in your face and you're not sure how you got out of it. It's very disorienting to be in a car this way.

You look around for your purse and find it under the tree limb that's coming through the windshield. It seems the car rolled on to the tree limb as it's pushed up through the overturned windshield. You fish out your phone with a shaky hand only to find you have no signal. Of course not. The stretch between Twin Pines and Southgate was nothing but forest and farmland and you were in the start of the valley.

You grab for the door handle and shove open the driver side door. You crawl out into the snow and collapse beside the car, vision becoming blurry and dark. Everything hurts. The only way you can describe it would be like you fell down a flight of stairs, which you did once as a kid. It's awful. Your face hurts too, like you've been sucker punched a few times. You lay there, opening your eyes and staring up at the cloudy sky overhead that threatens to bring snow at any time, thankful you're alive and trying to hold it together.

The only way you're going to get help was to get up the hill you came careening down in the car. To get there you'd have to get out of the ditch first and that sounded about as appealing as chewing your own leg off. But you have to do it. You push yourself up on your knees and use the car for leverage to bring yourself up. One look around the area and you know you're alone. There are no cars as far as the eye can see. Your car is completely fucked, even if it got towed you'd have to total it. That is the least of your worries right now though.

Ten exhausting minutes later you are at the top of the hill. You're frozen, hands red, face aching and wind burnt. Your body feels absolutely no better than it had before and your thighs are cold and tingly. You hit Shawn's name and call him first. You don't know why. Maybe because you know he can get there faster than the ambulance from Southgate. Maybe because you wanted to hear a familiar voice. Maybe because he was the only person who you needed in your life in general.

“Shawn,” you croak, voice foreign to your own ears. Your throat is dry and it hurts to talk from huffing and puffing in the crisp air. “I need you.”

“What? Where are you? Did you slip again?”

“No. My car went off the road. I'm by the bridge over the creek going to Southgate.”

“Are you okay?” his voice is panicked. “Have you called an ambulance? I'm on my way right now.”

“I hurt, but I don't think I'm too bad. I dunno.”

Keys jingle and you hear a car door close. “Call for an ambulance.”

“Shawn.”

“I'll be there shortly, as much as it kills me you have to hang up and-”

“Shawn!”

“What? What happened?”

“There's ice. Don't go too fast. Please be careful.”

“I will I promise. I'll be there as soon as I can. Hold on okay? I'm going to get you. I'm going to be there soon.”

“I'll be the crumpled heap by the road.”

“You're not making this any better y'know.”

You let out a little chuckle. This was no time to be laughing or making jokes but here you are. Coping you suppose.

“I'll see you soon. Are you warm enough? I'm going as fast as I can. I'll be there. I promise.”

“I'll be okay. Stop talking and driving before I have to come find you in a ditch too.”

“For fucks sake...Okay. Okay. I'm going to hang up now.”

As soon as you hang up on Shawn your phone flashes and the power goes off. Shit. You sink down into the snow and watch for Shawn's Jeep to approach. It'll be a while, you were about fifteen minutes out of town. The cold seeps into your skin and you shiver, body revolting against the contraction of muscles. You let out a cry, no longer able to hold back. Your strength has dwindled. Not even dry humor was going to help you now.

You look up at the sound of tires on gravel and you don't realize how long you've been spaced out but your hands hurt really bad, prickly and numb. Shawn is practically falling out of his Jeep to get to you. He runs across the snow, zero regard for the ice beneath it. You've never been happier to see him, or anyone, in your whole life.

“Oh honey,” he breaths, dropping to his knees beside you. “Look at me.” He gingerly guides your face up and he looks like he's about to cry.

“I didn't call for help.” You whisper, holding out your dead phone. “It died.”

Shawn pockets the phone and grabs your hands to warm them up. “Where's the car?” He looks around and back to you.

“Down the hill.” You point to where your car, a dark heap, lies against the tree trunks at the bottom of the hill past the creek. “I didn't have signal down there.”

Shawn's eyes widen. “Holy shit. You didn't say it rolled. You walked up here?” He helps you stand up and opens your coat. “I don't see any blood, how's your ribs? Your stomach? Are you coughing up blood or do you feel nauseous?”

“My ribs hurt. No blood, no nausea.” You lean against him for support and groan. “My body hurts.”

He wraps his arm around you and takes you to the Jeep. “I'm going to take you to the hospital. You could have internal damage. Were you wearing a seatbelt?”

“I was.” You let out a yelp as he helps you up into the passenger seat. “But when I came to I was on the roof.”

“You weren't belted in the car when it rolled?” He pulls the seat belt over your lap and latches it for you.

“I was, I just said that. I don't know how I got out of it.” You lean your head back and let your eyes close. You're tired. It hurts to breath and talk. Your head is on fire and you just can't deal with it anymore. “I just need to rest.”

“Honey, stay with me. Keep talking.”

“Tired.”

Shawn cups your face tenderly, careful not to be too rough as he forces you to look at him. “Keep talking to me. I know you're tired, but you have to stay awake. Remember? Concussions make you tired?”

“Fuck.” You tear up, eyes burning as you let your emotions get the best of you. “I'm scared Shawn. I don't want to pass out and not wake up or something.”

“I'd never let that happen.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead before closing the passenger door and going to the drivers side. He takes your hand after he gets out onto the road. “I need you to keep squeezing my hand so I know you're awake okay?”

“Yeah.” You squeeze and he rubs his thumb over your fingers. “I can do that.”

________________________

A while later you're walking through the doors of the emergency waiting room at the Southgate Memorial Hospital. Shawn gets you a wheelchair from the little cubby of them for injured patients and pushes you up to the desk. He discusses your situation with the nurse and they take you into triage for basic assessment.

Everything happens so quickly and you just do whatever Shawn and the nurse tells you to do. It's so strange, you feel like you're in fog. As if you're viewing yourself do things. You know how this works, you'll be taken to a room and the doctor will come in to see you. A nurse will check on your vitals again. You've been here, done this for three months in your training back home.

“Shawn?” You ask, looking over to where he's filling a cup at the sink. “Shawn?”

“Yes honey?” He asks, turning and taking your hand. “What's wrong? Do you need something?”

“You're a doctor.”

“Yes I am?” He tucks your hair back.

“You're my doctor. Why am I here?”

Shawn pets your hair back and you lean into his hand. “I think it's best for you right now. I'm too emotionally involved to treat you. But I'll be here.”

“Shawn, long time no see.” You look past Shawn to see a man in a white coat. “What brings you to my ER tonight?”

“Trevor. Good to see you. Well, not like this but, y'know.”

“I'm Dr. Collins,” Trevor introduces himself to you, hand on your shoulder. “Let's go over what happened.”

Four hours later and you're released. You're bruised and cut up just a little from the broken glass but overall okay. The fogginess has subsided and you feel more alert. Dr. Collins didn't find any signs of cracked ribs or internal bleeding. You're sent home with a prescription for pain medication and rest. You pass your car on the way and you feel a pang of sickness course through your stomach. Your car is destroyed. Just a hunk of metal now. That was a process you'd have to deal with later. Right now you're doing good just to deal with the reality that you could have died.

________________________

“You need to rest. Why are you out of bed?”

You startle and lean against the counter for support. Shawn gets up from your dining table to come meet you. You didn't know he stayed the night again. “It's Monday. I can go to work. I'm just bruised.”

“I won't have you in the clinic. I took today off so I can be here with you for the whole day.”

“Shawn! You can't just close the clinic!”

“I already spoke to James. He understands, and it's not closed. He's taking my hours for the day.”

“Why are you doing this?”

Shawn steps forward and holds your shoulders. “I care about you, a lot. You're my friend and you're all alone here. I cannot in good faith leave you by yourself after an accident like this. Have you talked to your parents yet?”

“No. I'll tell them later.”

“When you go home for Christmas and you're bruised all to hell?”

Tears prick your eyes and you look down. He was right. If you went home like this your parents would freak out. You don't even know if you should fly, and driving was obviously out of the question. “I guess I'll have to stay here for Christmas. I'll just tell them I'm snowed in.”

“You can come with me.”

You look up and Shawn brushes some hair off your face. He was always so gentle with you. “Go with you?”

“Yeah. Go with me to my parents house in Baytown. It's on the other side of Southgate. I'm sure they would love the company.”

“I can't do that.”

“You can. Please come with me, I'd really like to keep an eye on you.” He takes your hands and you squeeze gently. “Please?”

You look up at him and he looks so soft you can't say no. He has your whole heart and you're sure he must know it. “We'll see.”

________________________

Christmas Eve. Shawn's hand finds your thigh as you bounce your leg nervously in his passenger seat. You're almost to his parents house, it's in a small town outside of Southgate so the drive isn't much farther than going to the city. But you're anxious. It wasn't like you had a problem with meeting new people, your job required you to be pretty social. This was different though. It was Shawn's family. It felt like it had when Ben had taken you to meet his dad for the first time. But that was because you were dating and you were afraid his dad wouldn't like you. You and Shawn are not dating, so why is this a big deal? Why does it feel like you're about to meet some board of directors for judgement?

“Hey,” Shawn says softly and you tear your eyes off the road.

“Yeah?”

His thumb rubs gently against your jean covered leg. “Relax. My parents are super nice. My mom will love you, she loves company.”

“I don't know why I'm so nervous. Probably because my face is still bruised up and stuff. They're going to wonder what happened.”

“You’re fine. It's hardly visible. I promise no one will notice.”

“If you say so.” You put your hand over his and he turns it over so you can hold it. It's comfortable. Ever since the accident when he had you hold his to stay awake, you've found comfort in holding his hand. It feels warm, intimate, safe. It feels right.

The moment you arrive at his parents house, his mother runs out the door to meet him. She's all bundled up in a bright red sweater as she clamours through the snow down their lawn toward the Jeep. As soon as she sees you she stops, eyes going wide and she yells something back toward the house.

“That's my mom.” Shawn laughs and shuts off the car. “I didn’t really think about this before but she might think you're my girlfriend.”

“Oh.”

“It's okay, I'll explain the situation.”

“No.” You look over at him and he raises his eyebrows. “I'll be your girlfriend.”

“What? Are you serious? You mean just pretending right?”

“I think we both know that-”

“Shawnie! My baby!” His mother cheers as she pulls his door open and wraps her arms around him. “Who's this? You didn't say you were bringing anyone!”

Shawn turns and puts his arm around you. “This is my f-”

“Girlfriend.” You reach over, take his mom's hand and introduce yourself.

“I'm Holly, I'm so excited to meet you. Shawn hasn't had anyone over in ages. Not since his divorce. We worry about him.”

“Mom,” Shawn groans.

“I know I know. Thank you for coming.” Holly holds your hand between hers and looks you over. “And you're so beautiful! So lucky Shawn!”

“Mom.”

“Thank you.” You flush and look over to Shawn who's just as red. “I'm excited to be here.”

“Right! Come inside, it's cold out here. I've just got cinnamon rolls out of the oven.”

You meet Shawn's dad, Mike, and he is quiet but his demeanor shows just as much as excitement as Holly's. Shawn's sister is due to arrive tonight with her daughter and shortly after you're settled in, Holly says she has to go do some shopping before Aly gets there. Shawn says she's going to buy you presents, and you just roll your eyes.

“You want to be my girlfriend huh?” Shawn asks a while later when the two of you are settled down in his old bedroom that is now a guest room. His mom is still gone shopping and his dad is taking a nap in his chair. “I can't say it's not a little unexpected.”

“So you're telling me that you don't want to date me?”

“I didn't say that.”

“I think it's time we acknowledge that we're both really attracted to each other. It's more than just attraction really. You were the first person I called when I nearly died. That's something I don't even know if I would have called Ben first for. It takes a special kind of person to be the first one to be called in a time of crisis.”

Shawn steps toward the bed where you're sitting and puts his hand in your hair, thumb brushing over a small bruise on your forehead. “You're right, and I want to be that person. I want to be there for you all the time.”

“And I want you to be that person.”

You look up and he leans down, lips brushing yours, asking for permission. When you nod slightly, he presses more firmly. You fall back and he crawls over you, lips locked onto yours. Your hand goes to his hair and he growls playfully, biting and you moan softly. Kissing him is incredible, he tastes like honey chapstick and whatever he was drinking earlier. It's sweet, salty and very much like Shawn and you love it.

“Ben really fucked up,” he says, leaning up on one arm over you.

“He did?”

“Yeah. You're beautiful, and smart and unbelievably enticing.” He leans in and kisses you softly. “Can’t believe we waited so long.”

“Guess we had to sort some things out first.”

“Mmhmm, and I'm glad they're sorted now.”

________________________

Aly shows up a shortly after dinner is served. Shawn's mom had made a big salad and some rolls for every one. A light dinner before the Christmas feast tomorrow. Just when you thought you couldn't have any more feelings for Shawn, you're proven wrong. The moment Grace, Aly's daughter, runs into the house Shawn scoops her up and spins her around. He's amazing, playing with her hair and telling her a story about something that he saw at the mall. You definitely can't help thinking about having a child of your own with him.

Aly is surprised to see you. Your presence a shock to her as much as it had been his parents.

“How did you and Shawn meet?” Aly asks after introductions.

“Work. I'm a nurse in the clinic.” You look over at Shawn who's got Grace on his shoulders. “We kind of hit it off right away.”

“He needs someone good. He's been through a lot.”

“I have too. We understand each other, he's amazing. I'm so lucky to have met him.”

Aly smiles and folds her arms over her chest. “Which one of you said it first?”

“Hmm? Said what?”

Shawn wraps his arms around you and you melt back into him, heart fluttering at this new sort of contact. “What're you guys talking about over here?”

“You.” Aly smirks. “I was going to tell her all your nasty habits.”

“Oh please, I work with this woman every day. There's not much she doesn't know.”

Aly raises her eyebrows and you just smile at her, not sure what to say. He wasn't wrong. The two of you spent forty hours a week together and then often times a few hours after work.

“Fire mom!” Grace exclaims jumping up and down by the fireplace under the TV mount.

Mike is starting a fire in the fireplace and you wander over and curl up with Shawn on the couch as his mom turns on the TV. Aly and Grace sit opposite you, and his parents sit in their chairs. It's nice, and feels like home.

You feel bold, comfortable with Shawn's closeness. He has his hand on your thigh, rubbing up and down gently. Your hand eventually finds its way into the back of his hair and he leans back into your touch. It's something you've always wanted to do. His hair looked so soft and thick, you dreamed about running your hands through it. His eyes flutter closed as the TV plays a Harry Potter movie marathon. He's beautiful. He just relaxes completely and enjoys your hand gently scratching his scalp as his hand comes to a stop on your leg.

“I need something to drink.” Shawn murmurs after a few minutes, pulling away from your touch reluctantly. He gets up and heads for the kitchen. You scoot over into his warm spot and wrap up in the blanket the two of you were sharing. It smells like his cologne and you could just fall asleep right there curled up in that spot. That thought leads you to thinking about later in the evening. The two of you would be sharing a bed, like, actually sleeping together.

Shawn returns and hands you a cranberry sprite as he drops down into your old spot. “Your favorite right?” He wraps his arm around your shoulders and tucks his feet between yours on the foot rest.

“Mmhmm. I can't believe your parents have some.”

“I told Mom to pick it up for you.”

“You guys are gross.” Aly laughs and you roll your eyes. “Grossly cute.”

“Jealous?” Shawn asks, sipping his water bottle.

Aly just shakes her head and Grace gets up to grab a present from under the tree. “Mom! Can I open one tonight!?”

“Grace, it's not Christmas yet. How about we go see the lights?”

“Lights?”

“Remember the Christmas lights at the park? I think Santa's reindeer might be there too.”

Grace's eyes light up and she runs for her coat.

“You wanna go see the reindeer?” Shawn asks you softly. “They're really cool if you've never seen them.”

Aly gets up and says something to her dad as she helps Grace with her coat. Holly says she will go and both her and Mike get up to get their coats on. You are torn between staying in the house alone with Shawn and seeing reindeer. You know the two of you won't get much time together alone while you're here. Not that you wanted to do anything risque. It'd just be nice to be together for a few minutes without anyone around since this was still very new to you.

“You guys coming?!” Grace asks excitedly, grabbing at Shawn's arm and tugging him up. “Come see the reindeer! Come on Uncle Shawn!”

Holly scoops Grace up and puts her on her hip. “Let's let these two go at their own pace Grace. They'll show up.”

“Boo. Lame.”

Aly laughs from across the room as a breeze of crisp night air blows in through the front door. Everyone files out and leaves you and Shawn alone in the living room.

“Do you not want to go?” Shawn asks worriedly.

“We can go. I just wanted a moment.”

Shawn rubs your arm. “Are you feeling alright? You're not overwhelmed are you? We don't have to do this. I can take you home and we can go on like we never discussed being more than friends.”

“No, no. I'm fine. Let's go.”

“You're sure? Are you hurting? How's your ribs?” He reaches for your shirt and pulls it up a bit but you push his hand down.

“I'm fine. I'm just not used to this.”

“We'll take it one day at a time okay?”

You nod and he stands up and hauls you up against him. He eyes you skeptically, and you give him a curious look but he lets it pass as the two of you go to get your boots and coats on.

________________________

The park is huge and set up like a little Santa's workshop town. There are little elf statues everywhere, games kids can play, reindeer are in pens with their handlers and there is even a guy in a santa suit wandering around. It's adorable.

Shawn bumps your hand and you let him grab it, threading your fingers together. They way it feels to have Shawn's affection is unlike any other. Not even when you first started dating Ben did you feel this warm and safe. There was something about Shawn that was different in all the right ways.

“What did you want for Christmas as a kid?

You look up and Shawn is looking over at a reindeer as it passes with it's caretaker. “Uh, I dunno I guess.”

“There has to be something. A pony? A password journal? Barbie dream house?”

You laugh and he smiles at you tenderly. “Okay, yeah I wanted a Barbie dream house, but I also wanted the car. I remember asking for them for months.”

“Did you get them?”

“Yeah. My grandma got the car for me, but no dream house. It was the yellow Volkswagen Bug that comes with stickers to decorate it. I loved that thing.”

Shawn chuckles. “Sounds like me when I got my first guitar. I begged my parents for ages.”

“Oh yeah? You can play?”

“I could. I learned on YouTube. Classes weren't my thing so I just watched videos to figure out how to play songs I liked. It was fun, I don't know why I ever stopped.”

“What kind was it?”

“A fender, electric.”

“Ohmygod, I figured it would be one of those starter acoustic ones y'know?”

Shawn chuckles. “You'd think right? No, I had to have electric. I was dead set on it.” He pulls out his phone and shows you a picture of himself holding the guitar up and grinning. “Here I am, brace faced and ready to play.”

“Look at you! Ohmygod it's really pretty. I like the color of the body. Do you still have it?”

Shawn shakes his head. “No, I sold it when I went to college. Didn't get much for it, the body was pretty worn from years of use. I should get another one and see if I still remember how to play.”

“Maybe Santa will bring you one.”

“Oh yeah?”

You tug him by his hand toward the santa that is taking pictures with some teenagers by a giant present. The kids wave goodbye and you approach him. “Santa, do you take requests for gifts?”

“Of course young lady!”

“Really?” Shawn chuckles and you tug him closer.

“What's wrong young man? You don't believe in Santa Claus anymore?”

“I...uh...”

You cut him off and shake your head at the santa. “He's had a rough few years. I think he needs some reminding of the magic of Christmas.”

Santa laughs and lays his hand on Shawn's arm. “My boy, the magic of Christmas comes from the heart. You've got plenty of heart don't you?”

“Yes sir, I do.”

“And do you young lady?”

You nod.

“Christmas isn't about toys and lights and gifts. It's about love, and the two of you most certainly have that.”

You turn scarlet and so does Shawn. “Santa, we aren't that f-”

“You can't fool Santa! The two of you are made for each other! I know that look, it's the same one I had when I met Mrs. Claus. Now you had a request? What can I do for you?”

“N-nothing Santa. Thank you so much.” You smile politely and he walks off with a you're welcome and a cheeky smile.

“What the hell was that about?” Shawn laughs, looking at Santa round the corner of a game booth. “That was weird right?”

“Totally weird. I just wanted to goof around and ask him to bring you a guitar. That was just wild.”

Shawn looks up at little snowflakes that start to fall around you. He brushes a few out of your hair and lets his fingertips linger against your temple. “You look beautiful,” he murmurs to himself, eyes soft as he looks over your face.

“Thank you?”

“What?”

“You said I look beautiful?”

Shawn's cheeks flush bright red up to his ears. “I didn't say that out loud?”

“Yes you did.”

“Jesus Christ.”

You laugh and grab his hands in yours. “You're beautiful too.”

“I-”

“Are you gonna kiss?” You look down and see Grace standing beside the two of you. “Because gross.”

“Oh really? Kisses are gross?” Shawn teases, squatting down to her level.

“Yeah. Super gross.”

“Oh. I see. You mean kisses like this are gross!” He pulls her to him and kisses her cheek a bunch of times as she squeals and squirms against him.

“Ew! Uncle Shawn germs! Gross! Mom!”

Aly, Holly and Mike appear from around a tree nearby and Grace runs to her mom.

“There you are. We were wondering if you guys came,” Holly says as she leans into Mike's side. “We we're just about to go see if the carousel was still running before heading back home.”

“Sounds good,” Shawn says and puts his arm around your back as you follow the group toward the other side of the park.

“There's a carousel?”

“Yeah, they have Christmas themed animals to ride on and stuff. You'll love it.”

The carousel is still running for the next half an hour and you all buy tickets to ride. The usual circus animals you would see on a carousel are instead replaced with reindeer and santa sleighs of all different colors. Mike and Holly chose a sleigh while Grace picks a reindeer and Aly stands beside her. You and Shawn go for two reindeer side by side, Comet and Cupid are emblazoned on their saddles.  

“Please no running, walking, or changing of reindeer or sleighs while the ride is in action. All first time riders and children under six years of age must be accompanied by an adult at all times. I will announce when the ride is finished and when it is safe to exit. Thank you and have a great time.”

As the ride starts, you begin going up and down slowly to the tune of Christmas songs blasting on the speakers overhead. It feels like flying and it's absolutely incredible.

“I haven't done this since I was a kid!” Shawn laughs.

“I've never been on one before!”

“What?! How?!”

“Never came up!”

Shawn slides off his reindeer and crosses the gap to yours. As yours goes down he gets on the back and you’re sure that's not allowed but you're not sure if the reindeer will hold two people. Surprisingly it does, and keeps going up and down despite the extra weight. Shawn's arms wrap around your waist and he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“First time riders shouldn't ride alone. Didn't you hear the rules?”

“They also said don't get off the reindeer or walk around while the ride is going.”

Shawn chuckles softly. “That's so kids don't get hurt. Besides, I couldn't leave a first time rider all on her own. What if you fell off?”

“You're ridiculous.”

“Just a little bit.”

________________________

Everyone settles down for the night and Grace is put to bed as soon as you all get back to the house. The remainder of the evening everyone sits out on the enclosed back porch with the heater on, just talking about life. You're next to Shawn on the swinging bench and you're tired. The day has caught up with you finally. Shawn is discussing a case he saw come through the office with his dad and you just lay down, head on his lap, listening to the men talk quietly among each other. Shawn's voice, soothing and sweet, vibrates through his body and into your ears as you lean your head against his stomach.

You're not sure how long you are asleep, or if you ever were really asleep at all, when suddenly you hear someone else talking. It's Aly, her voice is nearby, closer than it was before.

“Shawnie is in love,” Aly says with a soft sigh.

A hand in your hair glides gently across your scalp and pulls away just to make another pass through, over and over. “Shut up Aly.”

“You are. You look at her the way you used to look at Alena. Actually, I think you hold back with her. You shouldn't do that, she should know how you feel.”

“Aly. Please, I don't need relationship advice from my baby sister.”

“I'm not that much younger don't call me a baby. But I'm right and you know it. You hate it and you know it.”

Shawn pushes the swing back and let's it swing forward, rocking the two of you gently. “You are, but shut up.”

“You're no fun.”

“I'm not. But don't tell her that.” His hand stills in your hair and he rubs his thumb across your eyebrow carefully. It's a strange but intensely intimate feeling. “She's too good for me.”

“Shawn no, don't think like that. I know Alena really fucked you up with what she did, but don't let that reflect on your future with her. You're better than that.”

You decide you've had enough eavesdropping because you're about to start crying. You move slightly, eyes opening to meet Shawn's staring down at you tenderly. The soft warm glow of the heater reflects off his eyes and makes them look even more like honey than ever before. You're absolutely in love with him.

“Hey, you were sleeping pretty good. Did we wake you?”

“No, just woke up.”

Shawn's hand moves in your hair and he lifts your head as you sit up. The world feels slow, like time has stopped for a few minutes and it's trying to catch up again. The deck is warm and toasty, only Aly remains with the two of you.

“Let's go to bed.” Shawn stands and you look up at him. You've got sleepy limbs that feel heavy and sluggish. Shawn steps forward and puts an arm around your back and one under your legs, lifting you up carefully. It makes your heart stop. “I gotcha.”

“I can walk,” you yawn and he just chuckles.

“This is more fun though.”

“I'm right,” Aly whispers teasingly as he passes into the house, and Shawn looks back with a glare.

Shawn sets you down gently on the bed and goes to close the door. “Do you want to sleep on the side with the wall or the open side?”

“Open side.” You sit up and grab your bag that has your pajamas in it.

“Perfect I like the wall side.” He walks toward you and pulls his sweater up over his head and for the first time you see him shirtless. It's like a punch to the gut. You knew he had to be fit, his arms and general figure gave that away. But to be as toned and straight up jacked as he is, you couldn't have guessed. “What are you staring at?” He laughs and leans over his bag to get a sleep shirt.

“You. All that,” you gesture up and down his body. “How?”

Shawn looks down at himself and chuckles. “I have a home gym. I've always worked out, it's a stress relief for me.”

“Well. GQ called they want to book you for a sexiest doctor of the year photoshoot.”

He laughs, full on belly laughs and walks over to you. “I'm glad you think so highly of me. You want me to sleep shirtless? I can.”

You nod.

“Okay, scoot over so I can get in.”

Shawn wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you back against him once you're both settled down. He kisses the back of your shoulder and you melt. The tenderness was too much. He felt so perfect against you, like you were made to fit the shape of his body.

“Is this okay?” He asks lowly, moving some of your hair out of his face. “I guess I just assumed you like to cuddle.”

“It's perfect. Ben never liked to cuddle much but I sleep best when I'm held.”

Shawn hums. “Alena didn't like being touched when she slept. It was hard because I'm very much a physical sleeper. What was Ben's problem?”

“He always said he got too hot.”

“Oh,” he noses your neck and you giggle. “We must be temperature compatible.”

“What's that?”

He chuckles. “Y'know, like you said, Ben was too hot. You and I must be the same temperature so we're comfortable being close. It's special.”

“Oh, yeah.” You press back against his chest and he puts his feet against yours. “Maybe it's because we were meant to be together.”

“I think so too. Now let's sleep, we don't want Santa to skip our house because we're awake.”

You giggle and he tightens his arm around your middle, sighing softly into your hair. He's everything you've ever wanted in a partner and you find yourself drifting off quickly

________________________

Christmas morning. You wake up early, far earlier than you should. It's a little after five in the morning when you sit up and realize the bed is empty save for yourself. Shawn's side is warm to the touch, and the bedding still smells faintly like his cologne. The door opens and dim light from the hall night light pours through the open doorway.

“Hey,” Shawn whispers lowly as he closes the door behind him. “What're you up for?”

“I dunno.”

The bed sinks under his weight as he crawls into his spot against the wall. He runs his hand over your stomach mindlessly and you scoot closer to him. “I probably woke you when I got up.”

You close your eyes and let yourself get lost in his touch. “I was sleeping so hard, I can't remember the last time I had such a good sleep.”

He chuckles. “Do you want to sleep a little longer? I'm up for cuddling for a while or we can get up and make coffee if you want. I'm sure my parents will be up soon too.”

Cuddling is tempting, but sleepy morning cuddling and exploration could quickly lead to more. This wasn't the place to do more. “Yeah, let's get up. I'm not tired anymore.”

Shawn crawls over you and hauls you up out of bed by your outstretched hands. You pull on one of his sweaters out of his bag on the floor and he smiles big. “Already wearing my clothes?”

“Yes.” You wrap your arms around yourself and smile. “They're much better than mine.”

Shawn pulls on a tee shirt and kisses your cheek. “I suppose I'll let it pass since you're so cute.”

The two of you head for the kitchen and turn on the lights behind the sink only. It's a soft light that's easier on the eyes than the overhead ones.

“Excited for Christmas presents?”

“Kind of? I have no idea what your mom could have gotten me.”

“It'll be a good surprise then. But I think you'll probably like it.”

You jump up on the counter, legs dangling against the cool cabinets. “You know what it is then?”

“I do. She texted me to find out what you like.”

“And what do I like?”

Shawn flips the lid closed on the old coffee pot in the corner and steps over to you. He wedges himself between your legs and plants his hands on the counter on either sides of your thighs. “Well, you like me.”

“She got me another Shawn? I dunno if I could handle two.”

“Ha ha.” He says with a smirk and you grin like a cat at your own joke. “You're so funny.”

“Tell me what she got me.”

“Never. It's a surprise.”

You bring your hands up and cup Shawn's face, cradling it ever so gently between them. “Would you tell me for a kiss?”

“That's dirty. You're playing unfair.”

You drop your eyes and lick your lips, giving him a look that has him pressing against you. “Tell me Shawn.”

Shawn leans in and you tilt your head back against the upper cabinets to avoid a kiss even though you want nothing more than to kiss him for hours. There were terms to be agreed to right now. His mouth passes yours and he kisses down your jaw, driving you insane.

“Sh-shawn,” you tremble as his hands go to yours, his mouth still placing kisses along your jaw and neck. “You're the one playing dirty now.”

“You have no idea how dirty I can't can get.”

You let out a little moan as he bites your neck over your tender pulse point. He soothes the bite with his tongue and you grab his hair, making him growl against you. He slides his hand up your shirt and you know things are getting out of hand.

“Uncle Shawn!”

Your heart stops and you look past Shawn to see Grace standing on the opposite side of the kitchen in her pony pajamas.

“Yes Grace?” Shawn asks, still facing you as he slides his hand out from under your shirt.

“Is she okay? Did she get hurt?”

“I'm okay Grace.” You smile and Shawn drops his head on your shoulder before turning to face the child. “Shawn and I were just talking.”

Grace walks over and Shawn picks her up. “Mom always has me sit on the counter when I need a band aid because I scrape my knees a lot. Are you sure?”

“Yes honey she's just fine. Why are you awake?” Shawn asks, bouncing her on his hip. “What if Santa hasn't come yet?”

“But there's presents under the tree. He's been here.”

Shawn leans over a little to see into the living room. “Well, I guess we should wake up your mom and grandma and grandpa then huh?”  

“Yeah!” Grace wiggles out of Shawn's hold and runs for the back of the house to get everyone.

“Kids,” Shawn sighs softly with a smile.

You reach out and grab Shawn's arm, running your hand up over his shoulder. “Can we talk later?”

Shawn slides his arms around you and lifts you off the counter, holding you to his chest. “Can we talk now?” He nips at your jaw and kisses across your face to meet your lips.

“No, everyone will be out here soon. Later,” you giggle, turning your head away from his kisses.

“What? I can't kiss you?”

“Later.” You smile cheekily. “Maybe I'll let you kiss me elsewhere too. It depends on what you got me for Christmas.”

“You think I got you something?”

“I know you did. You weren't slick trying to sneak that package out of your backpack when we got here. I saw you.”

He hangs his head and smiles. “It was supposed to be from Santa.”

“It still will be. I have no idea which one it is, so I suppose I'll have to guess.”

“I think you'll know.”

An hour later and gift opening is in full swing. Holly and Mike are parked on the sofa with coffee mugs and piles of presents around them that they will open last. Grace opens first, then Aly, Shawn and you. You volunteered to go last but as the guest they wouldn't hear it.

“Your turn Uncle Shawn!” Grace says, bringing him a little box that's wrapped with white shiny paper. It's the one from you.

“Thank you Grace.” Shawn inspects it carefully, shaking it a bit and you elbow him. “What? Is it from you?”

You roll your eyes.

“Snuck one in did you? I wonder what it could be.”

“Open it last.”

Shawn smiles and sets it aside, asking Grace for a different gift. Six boxes later and Shawn has opened everything from the family. He has a new pair of pajamas, boxers, socks with french fries on them from Grace, a new set of kitchen knives, a variety pack of teas from around the world and a gift card that Aly wrapped in four boxes for the laughs. It was finally time for your gift and suddenly you're nervous. What if it wasn't good enough?

Shawn opens the package slowly and pulls the top off the small box. Inside is a black slim leather wallet that he pulls out and holds up. He turns it over in his hands and looks at you. “It's beautiful, I needed a new one.”

“Open it.”

He opens it and inside there is a little blue SM embroidered on the first pocket opposite the brand insignia on the other side. “Oh wow, this is custom?”

“Yeah. It's not much, but I thought it was nice, and I know you needed a new one.”

“It's perfect.” He leans over and pulls you into a hug. “Thank you so much.”

Grace walks over with three boxes and puts them next to you. “Your turn!”

You look around nervously and open the first box slowly. Inside is a pink desk organizer with a built in file holder and pen cup. It's super cute and you smile at Shawn but he shakes his head. Not his gift.

Shawn gets up and grabs fresh coffee while you open the next gift and you know it's not from him if he was leaving for a moment. The next gift is a pair of snow boots. They're brown with soft white fuzzy fur trim, just your size too.

“These are perfect!” You hold them up as Shawn walks in with two mugs.

“I hope they're the right size. Shawn couldn't remember your exact size so I got the bigger of the two.” Holly says with a smile.

“No they're perfect. Thank you so much Holly. I've needed some new ones for a while now.”

“Mines next,” Shawn says softly and hands you the box wrapped in plain white paper. “I didn't have Christmas paper at home.”

“It's wrapped at least.” You take a drink of your coffee and place it next to you before tearing into the paper. It's in a shirt box and you lift the lid off to reveal a pile of tissue paper and two smaller boxes nestled into it. You open the first box to find a pair of rose gold earrings that look like little roses.

“Shawn!”

“Keep opening.”

The next box is a tennis bracelet of the same rose gold color and it has charms on it of a rose, a little stethoscope, a heart and a ducky. Tears well up in the corners of your eyes and you look at him. “You didn't have to do this.”

“You deserve it.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, his hand over yours. “They’re beautiful.”

“You're beautiful. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

________________________

Shawn has been dying to talk to you all morning since the interrupted...conversation. He has been all over you too, hand on your back, arms around your waist, kissing your cheek when you hand him something he needed to make the breakfast bake. He is so affectionate you think you're going to combust. The gentleness of every action and synchronization as the two of you move about the cramped kitchen helping Holly make breakfast feels unlike anything you have ever experienced with anyone else.

You eye Shawn as he bounces along to the Christmas music Grace is playing from her Barbie boombox in the living room. He's so cute, loose wavy curls falling in his face as he scrambles a bowl of eggs. To spend every day with him like this would be a dream.

“You got something on your lip,” Shawn says, pointing at your face. “I think it's whip cream from your cocoa.”

You wipe at it with the back of your hand. “Did I get it?”

“Nope,” he chuckles, steps over to you and swipes it off your upper lip under your nose. “There you go.” He pops his finger in his mouth and you smile as he grins at you, eyes playful. You're absolutely gone for him.

“Can we talk now?” he asks as he turns and puts the breakfast bake in the oven.

“Is something wrong?” Holly asks, looking over from where she's putting on a new pot of coffee.

“No, of course not. We just started a conversation this morning that got cut off by presents.”

“Oh.”

Shawn wipes his hands on a towel and grabs your hand. “We'll be on the deck mom,” he says and she waves him off.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” He asks with a smug look as he flips on the heater.

“Us?”

“Us?” He grabs your hands and walks you toward the swinging bench. “Is this about earlier?”

“Do you think this is a little fast?”

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“No, but I'm afraid we're rushing into this.”

Shawn's eyes search yours in the silence that consumes the deck. Only a light wind breaks the quiet as it blows against the covering that surrounds the structure. There is laughter from inside but you don't look away from the hazel eyes begging you to stay. Not that you were going anywhere any time soon.

“I heard you last night,” you say quietly and Shawn's eyebrows furrow. “When I was asleep on your lap out here. You admitted that you love me to Aly.”

“I did,” he looks down, face falling, “and it's foolish of me. I should know better than to let my heart rush into things.”

You bite your lip then smile unabashedly. “I guess I'm a fool then too. If you're okay with this, then I'm okay. I just needed to know if you were alright.”

“I'm more than alright with it.” He cups your face and leans in. His lips meet yours and they're soft and warm. He tastes a bit like coffee and caramel from earlier. Your heart feels like it's coming out of your chest and you can't stop the tears that start to run down your cheeks. Crying during a kiss, how embarrassing. His thumbs wipe over your tears and he stops, forehead against yours as his eyes meet yours in a panic.

“Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?”

“No,” you smile and let out a little half sob. “I'm just so happy I can't stop it. I've never felt so safe and connected to someone before.”

“Gods you're perfect.” He wipes away a few more tears. “I think this feeling is what people mean when they talk about soulmates.”

________________________

After Christmas, things change dramatically. You and Shawn are officially together and you couldn't be happier. It feels like a dream as a month passes and the two of you spend every day together openly happy and affectionate. But the euphoria doesn't last forever. In fact, it can come crashing down in a matter of seconds when three words are uttered by the right person.

“Where's my husband?”

You look up from your desk in the clinic to see a tall, thin, dark haired woman about your age. She has a confused look on her face as she looks around behind you. “Ma'am? Can I help you?”

“Yes my husband works here. I'd like to speak with him.”

“Ma'am the only man here is Dr. Mendes and he isn't married. I think you've got the wrong office.”

“Yes! Shaw-”

“Can you restock room seven I just used all the-” Shawn freezes and you turn to look as him as he dries his hands on a wad of paper towels. “Alena.”

“Alena?”

The woman smiles and leans against the desk, arms folded on the top. “Shawn, you look amazing. How are you?”

Shawn let's out and nervous laugh and looks around as if he's not sure if he's really seeing this. “I'm just fine. What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.”

You stand up and put your hands on the desk to keep your composure. “You'll need to make an appointment then,” you say through gritted teeth.

“I need an appointment to talk to my-”

“Yes.” You snap and Alena stops talking. “You need an appointment to talk to your ex husband. This is a clinic and he has patients to tend to right now.”

“Shawn, can you spare a few minutes? It's important.” Alena begs, dismissing you as she looks to Shawn.

“No. I have work to do. You can make an appointment or leave.” Shawn says, stepping closer to you. “My nurse here can schedule you.”

Alena scoffs and pushes off the desk and heads for the door. “I’ll find you after work then I guess.”

The moment the door closes you take a deep breath breath and let it out slowly. “Why?”

“Why what honey?” Shawn asks, hand going to your arm and rubbing to ease the tension rolling off of you in waves. “I don't know why she's here.”

“I don't like it.”

“I never took you for the jealous type. You do know it's over with me and her, right?”

You cut him and glare and he raises his eyebrows. “She's up to something. No one cheats on their husband, divorces him and runs off with a sugar daddy to the west coast just to return and want to just talk years later.”

Shawn steps closer and puts his arms around you. “Easy now. I know you want to defend me, but you should know I have no interest in her or whatever she has to say to me.” He looks down at you, eyes on yours. “I'm with you. Don't forget that.”

“I know.” You soften a bit, letting your shoulders slump. “I know. I'm sorry.”

He kisses your temple. “Now, can you restock the paper towels in room seven? I need to go see Mr. Carter in room two.”

________________________

That evening you and Shawn leave together around five and head to the diner for dinner. It had become a Friday night tradition that the two of you went for dinner and drinks to end the week.

“So, what do you think Alena wants?”

“I don't know.” Shawn takes his coke from the waitress with a smile and takes a big drink. “I have nothing to say to her, and I don't want to hear anything she has to say to me.”

You nod. “I just know things ended bad and it wasn't a clean break on your part. I imagine seeing her must have triggered something in you after all this time.”

“It did. I thought I'd died and I was in hell. There is no scenario in my head where she would ever come back into my life and I would want her. I'm completely thrown for a loop right now.”

“You're not like... considering hearing her out? She was your wife and all. You have a history.”

Shawn reaches over the table and tips your chin up to look at him. “She was, and that's the past and it's completely over, mistakes made. I'm not a kid who thought he was in love anymore. I'm twenty seven and I'm absolutely in love with someone who couldn't hold a candle to her. I love you, and just you. Understand?”

“I understand.”

“Do you? Promise me you'll stop worrying and let me handle things with Alena.”

“I promise.” You hold your pinky finger out and he hooks it with his. “I will let you handle it.”

________________________

The weekend passes and you don't hear anything more about or from Alena. Somehow you can't help but wonder if she's playing some sort of mind games with Shawn. You hope he isn't texting her, or messaging her on Facebook or something. You find yourself worrying about it when you promised Shawn you wouldn't.  

Sunday morning you run to the store while Shawn goes to his sister's house to help her set up a playset for Grace that she got for Christmas. The clinic had run out of gauze and peroxide and the next shipment wasn't due until Monday afternoon. You round the corner to the health and beauty department and at the end of the isle you can see her. Alena.

You grab your gauze and peroxide before heading toward her as much as you don't want to. She is standing in front of the tampons that you need for your own stock at home. You take a deep breath and try to remain as anonymous as possible as you step in front of her for your item.

“You're Shawn's receptionist right?”

Fuck.

“Yeah, his nurse actually.”  You mumble as you drop the box of tampons into your hand basket.

“I don't like your attitude.”

You raise your eyebrows at that. “Excuse me?”

“Your attitude when I said I wanted to talk to Shawn on Friday. You're a pretty poor receptionist if you get that lippy with clients.”

You smile sickeningly sweet. “Well, see I'm not just Shawn's nurse, not receptionist, nurse. I'm his girlfriend. And when his cheating ex wife shows up demanding to see her husband, who is not her husband and hasn't been for oh, I dunno, five years now, saying she wants to talk to him, I get a little irritated. I'm sure you understand why I don't like you.”

“Oh, fucking his nurse? That's rich. You think you’re not just a bed warmer to him? How long have you been together? A few months?” Alena laughs and rolls her eyes at you. “Shawn and I have a very long history. We're basically soulmates, and I fucked up but he'll forgive me. Shawn's always forgiven me before, he loves me so much that the last five years will be like they never happened.”

“Shawn moved on.”

“Oh honey, you realize that you have no idea who he is right? Shawn and I have been together since we were sixteen years old. You think he's just going to forget all that? For some nurse?”

You grit your teeth and swallow thickly. “He isn't going to take you back. You should just leave.”

“He will. I know just how to get to him, to remind him of where he belongs. Start packing your bags now if you don't like it sweetheart. You're going to see a lot more of me around here.”

You swallow thickly. How do you respond to that? She was actually crazy. “You have a good day, Alena,” you smile and turn to walk away. She says something else but you don't hear her. This was some bullshit and you needed to let Shawn know what was going on before Alena got to him.

________________________

 “Am I a bed warmer?”

Shawn shifts in bed, pushing himself up off his stomach to look at you. “What?

“Am I a bed warmer? Just someone to pass the time until Alena came back.”

“Honey, what are you talking about? Of course you're not.” He sits up and brushes your hair back against the pillow. “I would never do that to anyone, and especially not you. I love you.”

You close your eyes and remain quiet as you hold back tears. He sounds so hurt that you would ask something like that. To be fair, you didn't think he would ever do that, but you couldn't help but want to know, to want reassurance.

“Talk to me. Where is this coming from?”

“I ran into Alena at the store and she-”

“You ran into her here in town?”

“Yeah.”

Shawn makes a disgusted noise. “She must really want something if she's staying in town. I have no idea what she-”

“She wants you. It's pretty clear.”

“No I got that, but I don't understand why. What did she say to you?”

You sigh and he lays down, arm around your middle, head on your shoulder. “She thinks I'm just a bed warmer and that you're her soulmate and you're going to magically forgive her for everything because you have a long history.”

“Absolutely not. I wouldn't forgive her for anything. What she did was disgusting and I don't care if we have known each other for one or one hundred years. I won't take her back under any circumstances. I've moved on and found happiness.” He kisses your neck tenderly. “I've found the love I've always wanted. If she wants to talk about soulmates, then she should start with you and I.”

You turn and he holds you against his chest as you press your face into his shoulder. He threads his finger into your hair and holds you close.

“I promise I'll take care of this situation. She's gone too far and upset you directly. I'll tell her to leave or I'm getting a restraining order.”

“You think that will work?”

“I'm sure it will.”

________________________

You and Shawn are in a room cleaning up after putting stitches in the hand of one of the bartenders from the place by the park. He had slammed a glass into the corner of the bar while turning too quickly. It broke in his hand and resulted with his coworker bringing him in frantically for a stitch job.

“Have you heard from Alena?” You ask as you put some gauze into a biohazard box on the wall.

“No. I'm not sure if I should be afraid or relived.”

“You're not considering anything are you?”

Shawn looks over at you from where he's getting down new alcohol wipes to replace the ones you used. “Like what?”

“Hearing her out.”

He chuckles but you don't find anything about the conversation funny. “You're worrying too much.”

“I would understand if you wanted to y'know. The two of you were married and stuff so-”

Shawn presses his finger to your lips and you look down at his hand. “Stop. I love you, and only you. I swear nothing she tries to say or do will get me to change my mind.”

“Are you sure about-”

“Hello?” A lady’s voice calls from beyond the patient room and you look to the doorway.

Shawn drops his finger from your lips closes his eyes, leaning against the counter as you exit the room to go greet the patient. It must be the three o'clock appointment arriving early.

“Hello, sorry I was just-”

“Hello.” Alena smiles as she turns and she is holding a toddler on her hip. A little boy who looks to be about three or four. “I have an appointment with Dr. Mendes at three? It's for my son, Dakota.”

You grit your teeth until they ache as you look down at the computer. Sure enough. Dakota Moore. “For Moore?”

“Yes. That's him.”

“I'll let Dr. Mendes know you're here. I'll see if he is willing to take an early appointment.” You turn and go down the hall to the room you just exited, closing the door behind you softly.

“What’s wrong?”

“She has a kid.”

“What? Who?”

“Alena.”

“What do you mean she has a kid?”

You cross your arms and let out a little laugh of disbelief. “Yeah. A kid, she has a kid. That's who the appointment is for. A fucking kid Shawn.”

“It's not mine.” Shawn leans on the counter with the sink, facing the cabinet above, knuckles white around the wood edges of the smooth top. “It can't be mine.”

“No, it can't be. The kid looks to be about three or four.” You step forward and lay your hand between his shoulder blades. “Shawn, breathe.”

“She’s going to say it's mine. I know her. This is her angle, this is what she wants. I could just skin  her.”

“Easy there big guy. Remember, there is a child here, and this is a professional setting. Keep your temper in check. Just go through with the appointment and see what she says.”

Shawn turns and your hand falls from his back. He kisses you gently, his hand on your cheek. “I'll be professional, but I may need my nurse's help today.”

“Of course, I'd be happy to assist you Doctor Mendes,” you smirk playfully.

“Why's it so hot when you say it?”

“Because you're hopelessly in love with me and I could say anything in that voice and you'd think it's hot.”

Shawn kisses you again and then goes to the door, inviting Alena and Dakota back to the room for their appointment.

Alena remains civil for the majority of the check up. Shawn has you type up symptoms and general information while she answers Shawn's questions and explains that she just wanted to bring Dakota in for a check up since it's been a while since his last one and his ear has been bothering him. It's not until Shawn has decided a diagnosis and is writing up a prescription for an ear infection medication that Alena decides to make her move.

“Y'know his dad used to get ear infections a lot. I wonder if it's hereditary.”

Shawn pauses his writing and you watch him close his eyes and take a deep breath. “Alena. I know what you're trying to insinuate.” He turns and hands her the prescription.

“Excuse me?”

“You're here because you want to convince me that Dakota is my son right?”

“He does look like you doesn't he?” She fluffs Dakota's dark mop of hair.

“No.”

“Well he should, because he is your son.”

Shawn sighs heavily. “Alena, stop. You know full well this child isn't mine.”

“But he is.”

“If he's my child I want a DNA test.”

Alena's jaw drops. “What...how could you even say that?”

You narrow your eyes at her from behind the computer. The lying little skeevie wench wasn't going to get away with this plan of hers.

“Either you prove to me that Dakota is my son, or you leave me alone. And don't you ever, say a word to my girlfriend again. You can speak to me, lie to me, whatever. But don't ever talk to her again.” Shawn crosses his arms and stares her down.

“I didn't say-”

Shawn raises his eyebrows. “I know you talked to her. She isn't like you, she communicates with me when something bothers her. Besides, if you're sure Dakota is mine, what are you worried about? I just want proof. I'm not sure how a three year old could be mine though when we've been split up for almost five years.”

Alena looks panicked, caught in her lies. Did she really think that you wouldn't tell Shawn about the supermarket run in? “I-I just wanted to get help with Dakota. I moved back to Southgate in hopes you would be there and if you were single I was going to see if you wanted to give it another shot.”

“Right. Well I'm not. So now you can leave Twin Pines and go back to Southgate. I'm not interested in seeing you or your son again. I have no business with you since he's not mine.”

“But Dakota needs a good primary physician and-”

Shawn holds his hand up. “There are plenty of physicians in Southgate.”

“But-”

“Alena. Stop. It's over. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. I have my own life here and I'm very happy. If you continue to interfere I'll take legal action.”

Dakota squeals and tosses a toy car across the room. Alena picks him up and stuffs the prescription Shawn wrote up in her pocket. “Have a nice life Shawn,” she spits as she leaves in a fit of anger.  

Shawn turns to you and he looks drained. “I told you I'd take care of it.”

“You sure did. Wow.” You stand and wrap your arms around him. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” He lets out a deep breath and lays his chin on your head. “That was hard, but I'm okay.”

________________________

Two days until Valentine's Day and you find yourself in a pawn shop in downtown Southgate. You want to get Shawn a guitar because it's been since Christmas that you've wanted to hear him play. The shop has a good selection of gently used ones and as you browse you can't help but think they just aren't what you're looking for. Until you see it. Sitting in the corner behind the counter there is one propped against its case. It looks kind of old, well used. It kind of looks like Shawn's old one.

“Can I see that?” You ask, pointing to the dark blue and red guitar on the floor.

“That? It needs some body work but I can cut you a deal.” The employee sets it on the counter for you and you look over the body. “We just got it in, someone traded with with some other stuff they were cleaning out. It's got a case and everything.”

“How much?”

“Hundred dollars? It's pretty beat up but the mechanics and setup is still good. A little TLC it'll be like new.”

You turn it over and on the base of the neck is carved initials. SM. It's Shawn's. There is absolutely no doubt about it. Giving Shawn a guitar for Valentine's Day was one thing, but to give him his first guitar back on Valentine's Day? He's going to cry. You pay the seller and take it in its case home. It would be perfect.

________________________

Valentine's Day. You're so ready to give Shawn his guitar. You've been antsy since you got it, thrilled with how perfect of a gift it is. You wake up and he isn't there. Strange. His side of the bed is cold. A moment of panic runs through you. No. This wasn't Ben. This was Shawn. He's probably just in the bathroom.

You get up and wander into the kitchen. No breakfast is made. You peek into the bathroom and it's a little steamy, condensation on the mirror. He showered. Where the hell was he? You go into the living room and sitting there is a big pink unmarked box. “Shawn?” You look around, expecting him to jump out. “Hello?”

You lift the box up and sitting there is a fully assembled Barbie dream house just like the one you wanted as a child. You can't help the grin that spreads across your face.

“You're up!” Shawn exclaims as he closes the front door behind him. “I figured you'd be asleep a while longer.”

“Shawn! You- I- how dare you upstage me!”

He laughs and sets down his bag from the grocery store. “I’m sorry?”

You turn and go to the hall closet. You grab the guitar case and bring it out. “You upstaged me! I got you this! And it was supposed to be this huge surprise because it's what we talked about at Christmas but you upstaged me.”

Shawn walks toward you and grabs the case with shaky hands. “Honey, you didn't have to do this.”

He looks at the case and you can tell, he has an idea of what's inside. “Oh my God.”

“Open it.”

“No...there's no way. You couldn't have gotten this.”

You grin big, pushing it at him. “Open it Shawn.”

He unclips the side latches and folds the top open to reveal his guitar. He falls to his knees and lays it down beside himself, lifting the guitar out and running his fingers over the strings. “How did you get it? How? I sold this ages ago!”

“I was shopping for one and found it in the pawn shop. I couldn't believe it either. It's like it was meant to be.”

Shawn stands. He's got tears in his eyes as he cups your jaw, and kisses you lovingly. “This is way better than a ring. I definitely didn't upstage you.”

“A ring?”

“You didn't...oh...fuck.”

You pull back and hold his shoulders. “What is going on? What ring?”

“You didn't open the elevator on the dream house did you?”

“No? You walked in right as I took the box off of it.” You circle the couch and kneel down in front of the house, pressing the elevator button. It chimes and the elevator stops at the top. Inside there is a little black box. “Shawn...Shawn no.”

“Open it.”

You grab the box and hold it against your chest. “I can't! I can't open it! No, no ,no!”

Shawn comes around and kneels down in front of you. He brushes your hair back and you look at him. “Open it please.”

You shake your head, biting back tears.

He reaches for it and prys it from your hands. He opens the top and reveals a beautiful gold ring with a diamond studded rose focal. It's easily the most incredible piece of jewelry you've ever seen and matches your Christmas gifts and favorite scrubs perfectly. “Will you marry me?”

“You can't be serious!”

“I am,” he laughs holding it out for you. “I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to marry you and have babies with you and be a family. I want to wake up to your beautiful face every single day and tell you I love you because you are the single most important person who has ever walked into my life. I know I've rushed into marriage before, and I know it bit me in the ass. But you and I have a bond like no other and I can't wait to make you happy every single day.”

You take the ring with shaky hands, plucking it from the box. “You're sure though, like for real?”

“Yes.”

The ring fits over your finger perfectly and you stare at it with a little smile. “Then yes, I'd love to marry you Shawn.”

Shawn surges forward and wraps his arms around you, knocking the two of you back on to the floor. “I Iove you.”

“I love you too.”

“I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Me neither. One day at a time right?”

He grin and kisses you softly. “One day at a time.”

End.

[theres-a-goldensky]

List of My Fic - 2020

Am I 17 days late? Why, yes. I am. But here is a list of all the fic I wrote in 2020, going chronologically, plus some superlatives as I look back on last year.

Total stories written: 18

Total words written: 100,130

SUPERLATIVES:

Favorite fic I wrote in 2020: Dream On (Win/Team)

Least favorite fic I wrote: Sorry A Thousand Times (Fighter/Tutor)

Story I think is the most underrated: Jumping Off the Deep End (Richie/Eddie)

Favorite moment that I wrote:  

“Fuck this,” Eddie said just as the elevator doors opened. He jumped in and pressed the button to close the doors again.

“Oh, no way,” Richie said and hopped in with him. When Eddie tried to get back out, Richie grabbed his suit jacket and held on. “Nope, not a chance.”

The others stood in the lobby staring at the two of them.

“Stanley, your friends,” Patty said as the doors slid shut.

“Believe me, honey, I know,” Stan answered.

- Fake it ‘Til You Make it

Favorite sex scene that I wrote: 

Kit’s first time giving a blowjob, By Myself With You

It turned out that watching Kit pace naked around his dorm room while he talked himself through giving Ming a blow job for the first time was so entertaining that actually getting his cock sucked was almost a secondary benefit.

Ming laid equally naked in the middle of Kit’s bed, his hands laced behind his head, and enjoyed the show. He could see his very smart boyfriend using his very big brain to come up with the best course of action. Knowing him the way he did, Ming had no doubt that when Kit said he’d done research, he meant both the fun porn type and the boring, informational type. Ming hoped there were flashcards involved.

Favorite pairing dynamic to write: Oblivious Meng Shao Fei and jealous, protective Tang Yi - I did some variation of that trope in all three of my HIStory3: Trapped fics.

Click through for a list of all 18 stories in 7 fandoms.

WAITING FOR A SIGN Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Explicit Length: 6100 words Summary: Richie got tall. And broad. He had these wide shoulders and big hands that he’d gesture with emphatically when making some dumb joke about fucking Eddie’s dead mother. At one point, he poured Eddie a finger of Jameson and when Eddie tried to wave it off, Richie took hold of his wrist with one hand and pressed the glass into Eddie’s open palm with the other.

Eddie took a long sip as he had two equally shocking and mortifying thoughts in quick succession. The first was I want his hand around my dick, followed by holy fuck, I’m in love with this dirty asshole.

FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT  Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Explicit  Length: ~21,000 words Summary: “Then that’s it? You staged some pictures and now it’s done?” Eddie asked. 

“I wish,” Richie sighed. “This was just a test balloon to see how it goes over. If people react well, then we’re gonna make it official.”

“Official?” Eddie said faintly.

“You know what I mean. An official fake relationship. Artificially in love in that grand Hollywood tradition.”

SORRY A THOUSAND TIMES

Fandom: Why R U? the series Pairing: Fighter/Tutor Rating: Explicit Length: 3200 words Summary: The ride down to the beach had been pleasant enough, even if Tutor’s heart twisted every time his two friends discreetly traded shy smiles during lulls in the conversation. But Tutor made his choice, and he would have to live with it from now on. Whenever it felt overwhelming, whenever Tutor felt his fingers itching to pick up his phone and text Fight to tell him everything, he reminded himself why he was doing this in the first place. Tutor knew how important family was, and he wouldn’t be able to stand it if he ruined Fight’s relationship with his father.

JUMPING OFF THE DEEP END

Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Teen Length: 7500 words Summary: He didn’t know what he expected to see when he barged into the room, but Eddie hooked up to a thousand beeping machines and smiling brightly at him wasn’t it. Richie skidded to a stop in the doorway, nearly causing a pile up behind him. His breath caught inside his chest at the sight of Eddie, his hair a riotous mess and his doe eyes wide and glassy. 

“Hey, guys,” Eddie said when he saw them. There was a nurse tinkering with one of the machines beside him.

They ignored her and huddled around Eddie’s bed. Richie stood near the back corner and drank in the sight of him. He squeezed his hands together and bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying. Again. Jesus.

DREAM ON SERIES

Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Explicit Length: 13,000 words over 3 stories Summary: “Team and Win, you’re in room 355,” Dean said.

Team rolled his eyes. “Why did I get stuck with you?” he hissed.

“Because I’m your senior, and you have to do what I say,” Win replied. Dream On Dream Team Dream Life

BY MYSELF WITH YOU

Fandom: 2Moons the series Pairing: Ming/Kit Rating: Explicit Length: 6100 words Summary: Oh, Kit,' Ming thought, hopelessly fond. This boy was going to ruin him.

THE MISSING PIECE

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing: Meng Shao Fei/Tang Yi Rating: Teen Length: 4000 words Summary: “Tang Yi, I thought you didn’t like Coke,” Shao Fei asked. He gestured with the bottle and took a long sip.

Tang Yi barely glanced up from his work. “I don’t,” he replied.

“Then why is your refrigerator full of it?” Shao Fei pressed. When Tang Yi didn’t respond, Shao Fei shook his head. “What a waste of money, to buy something that you won’t even drink. Good thing I’m here.”

WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing: Meng Shao Fei/Tang Yi and Jack/Zhao Zi Rating: Mature Length: 10,300 words Summary: “You’re finally getting your wish. I’m leaving you alone.” Shao Fei waved a finger in his face. “But don’t get too excited. I’ll be back in a couple of days.”

“You’re going to help them look for whoever’s murdered those men,” Tang Yi surmised.

“A serial killer here in New Taipei City,” Shao Fei said. “It’s my duty.”

“Your duty,” Tang Yi replied mockingly. “They’re using you as bait.”

YOU CAN’T PLAY A PLAYER

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Jin Guangyao/Nie Huaisang Rating: Explicit Length: 1800 words Summary: If it wasn’t about his own amusement or pleasure, Nie Huaisang had no interest in it. Politics flew right over his head, waved away by the fluttering of one of his ever-present painted fans. That suited Meng Yao perfectly, as did the fact that he was obviously a cut-sleeve.

IN VINO VERITAS

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Lan Wangji / Wei Wuxian Rating: Teen Length: 5000 words Summary: Time stopped. Everything stopped. Wei Wuxian’s heart stopped. Slowly, he turned around to face Nie Huaisang.

“Lan Zhan is betrothed?” he asked carefully. 

Nie Huaisang paused with the bottle halfway to his lips. “Yes?” he said, sounding confused. “You must know that. Lan Qiren negotiated it himself.”

WEI WUXIAN VS. THE FEARSOME SUPER PANDA!!

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Gen Rating: Gen Length: 1300 words Summary: Wei Wuxian faces his most dangerous foe yet - the fearsome super panda.

MY BEST FRIEND Fandom: HIStory2: Right or Wrong Pairing: gen, Yijie/Shengzhe, Yijie + Shengzhe + YoYo Rating: gen Length: ~1700 words Summary: Even after over two years, Shengzhe is still uncomfortable around other parents.

FIVE YEARS LATER, THE WAY THINGS SHOULD HAVE BEEN

Fandom: HIStory3: Make Our Days Count Pairing: Xiang Haoting/Yu Xigu Rating: Mature Length: ~3400 words Summary: Yu Xigu isn’t at lecture, and the undergrads are worried. 

Yu Xigu rubbed his nose with the back of his hand sheepishly - so cute! How is he so cute?! - and said, “I wanted to get some work done.”

“You’re sick,” the guy replied. He placed one giant hand on Yu Xigu’s forehead and the corners of his mouth turned down. “You’ve got a fever.”

THE WAY TO A MAN’S HEART

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing:  Tang Yi/Shao Fei (Jack/Zhao Zi) Rating: Teen Length: ~2000 words Summary: A new food truck moves in near the police station.

Tang Yi grabbed the bun and took a bite. It was incredible. “Well?” Shao Fei asked. Tang Yi shrugged and passed back the half-eaten bun. “It’s ok,” he lied.

MISPLACE MY HEART

Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Mature Length: ~4000 words Summary: Team turned back to face him, and Win curled both hands around either side of Team’s jaw, kissing him softly before pulling back and gazing at him with a small, satisfied grin.

“Hia,” Team began, just as Win said, “I’ve gotta go.”

Team closed his mouth on the rest of the words, swallowing them down along with his disappointment.

SO ANNOYING  Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Mature Length: ~9700 words Summary: Team deals with some very unwanted attention at a swim meet and some very wanted attention from Win. (TW: brief, non-graphic sexual harassment)

[getalittleclosey]

under 50k larry fic rec

hi! i’m becca and i read...so much fic. these rec lists are an accumulation of fic that i’ve read or reread and extra loved from 2016-now. there’s a wide range of stuff here and i think there’s definitely something for everyone!! i divided them up by length so you can check out all those categories below!

please make sure to read tags and warnings on all these fics!! the only things i think i can guarantee is that these are all larry, there’s no non-con, no age play, no eating disorders, no mentions of bg, they end happy, and they’re mostly aus. oh and they’re all on ao3 and some are locked so you’ll need an account! anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!!

under 5k

under 10k

under 25k

under 100k

100k+

☆ the beginning of everything by thedeathchamber 31k

“How do you take it?” Harry asked, pouring tea into a cup.

“Just a dash of milk, please,” Louis cast a look over the small table, filled to capacity. “They’re very fond of you.”

Harry ducked his head, grinning. “They’re trying to impress you.”

Louis smiled, shaking his head. “Why would they want to do that?” he asked as he took the cup Harry passed to him, their fingers brushing for an instant.

“Empathy,” Harry said under his breath.

--

A Belle Époque AU set (mostly) in Paris in which Harry is a struggling artist, in more ways than one, and Louis is a successful theatre critic and a failed writer, more or less.

☆ to kill the mess we’ve made by misandrogyny 43k

And when he's finally standing, Liam fussing over him, rubbing his hand at the red mark blooming on Harry's forehead, does Harry learn two things:

One, he wasn't actually hit that hard, and Tommo--or Louis, rather--is just as pretty when Harry is staring at him head-on and,

Two, Louis is the Adidas model he's going to be working with on today's photo shoot.

(or: AU where Harry and Louis are both models, and they decide being friends-with-benefits is a great idea. It isn't.)

☆ heart open, bloodstain on my sleeve by silkbombs (mulberrygrey) 36k

“I couldn’t help myself,” Harry admits, one hand coming to rub the back of his neck, “I stared at you for a good while before I finally got the guts to come up to you. You looked so pretty sitting there, with your little ankles and your pencil in your mouth, so enthralling… art in front of art.”

Louis’ not sure what to say, so he just kind of sits there, eyes bugging out as he stares at Harry.

“I mean, like you’re not an object!” Harry rushes out, babbling.

“I just, there’s something about you that’s so captivating, and maybe it’s the way your eyes are like a watercolor painting of the sea, or how delicate your hands look when you draw, but I just wanted to get to know you. It’s not like I pick up random boys at art museums usually, I swear. Not that I’m trying to pick you up! Unless you want to be…God, fuck I’m sorry this is so awkward now. I can go, um, if you want."

--- Or, the one where Harry's the long limbed, gangly, sweetheart who just happens be a high profile art thief who conducts heists for a living and Louis' the loud, pushy art student who just happens to steal his heart.

☆ a king beside you by stylinsoncity 26k

When the aliens invade, the last thing Louis expects is to fall in love.

☆ the boys of summer by afirethatcannotdie 45k

“I mean…we’re gonna have to sneak around anyway, yeah? Like, with that whole rules thing that I guess we’ve decided to ignore. Might make it a little more fun this way.”

AU. In which Louis is a reluctant sports coach, Harry's a fellow counselor who wears tiny yellow shorts, and camp rules say they're forbidden to date.

☆ don’t let the tide come and take me by kiwikero 29k

The aquarium in the lobby has been there as long as Louis can remember, and so has the merman inside. That is, until the day Louis loses his job and decides to set the creature free.

They set off on a road trip to the sea, learning to communicate more and more each day. Their destination is LA, but the closer they get and the more Louis gets to know the merman, the more he dreads having to say goodbye.

Or, the one where Louis decides to set a merman free and ends up finding his own freedom along the way.

☆ introduction to dynamics by juliusschmidt 29k

Louis Tomlinson is the outspoken omega in the 'Introduction to Dynamics' course Harry wishes he didn't have to take. He's nearly certain to present as a beta, after all. Things will be simple for him.

☆ saved tonight by objectlesson 31k

Harry is the world's most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis's biggest fan. Louis hasn't written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It's probably destiny.

☆ once upon a dream by objectlesson 27k

“M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay. ”

Harry shuts his eyes and opens his mouth, because he can’t fucking say no to Louis.

--

Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

☆ rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied 29k

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

☆ life was a song, you came along by rainbowninja167 38k

It's embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them. It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.

Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend's career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan's newest album. A modern retelling of Singin' in the Rain.

☆ learning to eat by photo41 29k

Celebrity chef Louis Tomlinson has a problem. He’s opening his first restaurant in 9 weeks, and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s ‘standoffish’ and ‘rude’ and ‘quick to temper’. Whatever. He ends up saddled with an annoying, happy-go lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. His tv presenter and pop star best friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting Julia Child?!

Kitchen AU where Harry helps Louis re-learn how to eat. (METAPHORICALLY)

note: just to clarify this is NOT an eating disorder fic don’t worry

☆ runner on third by kikikryslee 40k

As Harry stood there, the other man turned around, and he knew he was correct in who he thought it was. “Louis?” he asked, still not quite believing it. Louis blinked. “Harry? Wh– what are you doing here?” “I work here,” Harry said. “What are you doing here?” “Um, I’m picking up my brother. The nurse called and said he was sick.” Harry felt like he was going to be sick. “Wait, Ernest is your brother? Since when do you have a brother?” “Since about seven years ago, I guess. Wait, how do you know Ernest?” “I’m his teacher.” “You’re his what?” Louis exclaimed. Harry gulped. This was going to be a long year. --- Or, the AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don't pick up where they left off.

note: there are four fics in this series that total to 60k

☆ roots by cherrystreet 43k

There aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. He’s spent the past couple of years on and off various stages, filled with screaming fans, all chanting his name, loud and adoring. He’s done countless interviews, some even on live, national television, never faltering over his words, answers meticulously planned out, smooth and steady. He’s signed countless autographs, taken just as many photos, and even when he sat in his label’s studio, waiting to see how high up on the charts his single made it, he didn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable. It’s all been unbelievably fun. No, there aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous.

Enter Louis Tomlinson.

☆ once upon a dream by thedeathchamber 33k

Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

aka. the Medium/Criminal Minds-inspired AU no one ever asked for.

note: there’s a 24k sequel for this!

☆ the melody you never heard by bananasandboots 30k

It's one last adventure. One last chance to be young and carefree. One final weekend before they take up their internships, their corporate positions, before they enter the real world, fresh out of university. Niall's his best mate. Liam's been there for him since they were lost, little freshmen, trying to find their ways through an overwhelming first year. Harry can't disappoint them, even if it means enduring four days with Louis.

Louis, who he does share a history with, a history he's never told anyone about, not even Niall, a history he hasn't brought up in three years because it's stupid and embarrassing and confusing.

Or, the one where Harry gets roped into a four-day camping trip with the boy who kissed him and never called back.

☆ born to make you happy by objectlesson 26k

Harry makes a quiet vow to himself that he will be the very best girlfriend Louis has ever had, even if he never actually gets to be Louis’s girlfriend.

note: i literally had to take a break and reread this cause i love it so much

☆ close to nowhere by angelichl 35k

“I will kill you in your sleep,” Louis threatened as he quickly stepped out of his jeans.

“I don’t think that would work very well baby, seeing as you talk to dead people all the time.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep and ignore your ghost. And don’t call me that.”

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

☆ adrenaline by reveries_passions 38k 

“Harry Styles,” Nameless Boy who now has a name says. Louis is too busy having an internal crisis to realize the boy has just introduced himself as Harry Styles. Harry Styles, only son of Des Styles, PhD, Dean of Harvard Medical School. Harry Styles, known by everyone and their grandmother. Harry Styles, star rower. Harry Styles, youngest enrolled student in graduate school at Harvard University. Oh my god, Louis thinks, mortified. I just slept with Harry Styles. As he reaches out tentatively to shake the boy’s hand, another thought hits him. Oh my god. Harry Styles is gay.

~

louis tomlinson, college dropout, up and coming dj, and gay activist, is the notorious owner of exclusive underground gay club, adrenaline.

harry styles, med student by day, partier by night, child prodigy and seemingly heterosexual son of harvard professors, is the youngest and arguably the smartest student at harvard medical school.

or: a one night stand wasn't supposed to become the greatest love story of the 21st century.

☆ bloodsport by tofiveohfive 40k

“You know how our next game is against the Cardinals, right? You remember how vicious those guys can get. I wanted us to come up with some plays, maybe work on a block from the left—”

Louis stops when he hears a chuckle.

He doesn’t think he’s said anything particularly funny, so he turns to Harry, waiting for an explanation.

“‘S funny, ‘s all.” Harry throws his finished bottle somewhere near the other discarded ones. “This is the first time you’re talking to me in eight months, and it’s still about football.”

☆ the haunting of louis tomlinson helloamhere 31k

“I'm not afraid of ghosts,” Louis said.

Every single magnet unstuck itself from the fridge and fell to the floor in a clattering cascade.

“I'm only a little afraid of ghosts,” Louis said.

*** OR: Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!

☆ can i not like you for a while? by larryshares 43k

louis tomlinson is awful. harry is just as difficult, and they're both terrible to each other. it makes being in the same acapella group together quite complicated.

☆ delight in masques by kassio 28k

Popstar Louis Tomlinson has been pulling one over on the mortals for years. In the five years since he put on a human illusion and tried out for the X Factor, none of them have realised that he’s one of the Fair Folk – a cat shapeshifter, to be precise – and he’d like to keep it that way.

When he returns to the X Factor as a guest judge, the last thing he expects is for some half-Siren fool to use magic on the judges. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what Harry Styles does. Now Louis has to track down some rogue changeling before he exposes them all. Even worse? Apparently, Harry doesn’t even know what he is.

(An urban fantasy adventure, set in the world of - but not crossing over with - the October Daye book series. No need to be familiar with those books; I just want to give credit where it's due on a lot of the worldbuilding.)

☆ no love like your love by rearviewdreamer 43k

When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.  

note: i love vegan harry styles

☆ for neither never nor ever by fairytalelights 29k

Then Harry looked down. A newspaper was on the steps in front of him, looking new, like it had only just gotten delivered but no one had bothered to carry it inside yet. That, in itself, wasn't unusual. The unusual thing was the headline, Chernobyl - Half a Year Later, and the date in the corner. 5th November 1986. He looked up to stare at the girl in the doorway one last time, before he did the only logical thing his body knew how to do in this situation. He bolted.

or, the one where Harry travels through time and has to come to terms with losing everything he's ever known. Louis might be the only thing that feels real.

☆ worth dying for by whoknows 45k

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Louis says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. In the center of the table, a set of three glossy photos stares up at him, mocking him.

“A security detail is non-negotiable, Louis, you know this,” his mum reminds him, tapping the middle photo with two fingers.

Louis doesn’t look back down at the pictures, gesturing towards them wildly, over-dramatically. “This is not a security detail!” he protests. “This is a lanky college student. In what world do you hire someone like this kid to protect me?”

☆ listen to your heart by lovelarry10 35k

Are you kidding me right now?

I… No? Louis frowned, feeling angry now. It wasn’t fair, he knew that, but at the same time, he couldn’t help his feelings. It felt like this had been brewing for weeks, and this was it. Give it a rest, Harry.

Why are you such a brat? Why can’t you just be happy for me for once?

You think I want to hear about you kissing James? Really, H? There’s things I just don’t need to know, okay? I’m your best mate, not your fucking relationship advisor…

*****

Louis has always been comfortable being Harry’s one and only. When Harry starts to branch out, Louis has a hard time letting him go.

Harry is very lucky to have someone who listens to what he has to say, despite the fact that he’s deaf. He’s finally feeling like he’s coming into himself, but Louis seems bothered by his newfound confidence.

☆ another day gettin’ into trouble by whoknows 26k

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.

In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?

Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.

Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.

☆ all the right moves by cherrystreet 32k

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

☆ play the odds by alivingfire 26k

Harry and Louis are best friends since childhood who, after a night of drinking, find themselves locked in a bet: first one to kiss the other a thousand times wins. Wins what? They don't know. Glory, Harry supposes. Bragging rights, though those don't do much in this economy. All Harry knows is that this is one bet he can finally win. What he doesn't expect, though, is what happens when he starts kissing his best friend on a daily basis.

Namely, he doesn't expect falling head over heels in love with his best friend.

Now all he has to do is make sure the bet never ends, so he never has to stop kissing Louis.

[sunflowersupremes]

You almost jumped out of your pants with joy to have a companion

“You had to flee from Gulet as fast as your horse could carry you because the girl you’d knocked up under the musicians’ podium had four sturdy brothers. They were looking for you all over town, threatening to geld you and cover you in pitch and sawdust. That’s why you hung onto me then.”

Author: SunflowerSupreme Prompt: Soulmate [Day 1] Verse: Book Triggers: None Rating: General Word Count: 1395 Summary: Dandelion and Geralt’s first meeting in the books

Read on AO3

@geraskierweek

Festivals weren’t something that Geralt usually frequented.

It wasn’t that he had anything against them, just that he found them a waste of time and coin when he had contracts to find and complete. But, since he’d been in the area, he couldn’t resist attending the fete where he might find something to eat (or a job, if he was very lucky).

Although there were no jobs to be had, Geralt had a hard time being too upset. He had enough coin to enjoy himself, wandering among the stalls and munching on a snack.

There was a singer on the musician’s podium, warbling on about soulmates and romance, strumming a lute. Geralt stopped and snorted, studying the man. He had shoulder-length blond hair that he had curled with irons and perched atop his head was a hat with an egret’s feather. Pairing that with his finely made clothes it was evident he wasn’t a local.

The Witcher supposed he must be looking at a bard who had come in for the festival. It was said that there was to be many famous musicians attending. With a snort and a shake of his head, Geralt wandered off in search of food.

There was plenty to be had, and he spent a decent amount of time wandering the stalls, picking up little treats here and there until he felt full. The townsfolk and festival-goers seemed happy enough to ignore him, for which he was grateful. Then he set about wandering the festival, keeping an ear out for anyone who might need a Witcher.

Geralt wrinkled his nose. Pitch tar, usually used for waterproofing on boats and buckets, had a very distinct odor, one that he was surprised to find in the middle of a town on festival day. Following his nose, he found two barns beside one another, with an alley between them. One was large and painted red, the other, slightly shorter and stained brown.

“There’s been a misunderstanding!” wailed a lyrical voice. “Oh please, I- I- oh!”

Geralt rounded the corner.

A rather bruised and familiar man was tied on the side of the smaller barn, his wrists trapped above his head. His shirt was rumbled and muddied, his curled blonde hair had fallen into disarray, framing an elfin face that was full of fear and streaked with tears. Geralt recognized him as the man who had been singing about soulmates and true love.

Four men stood in the alley with him, and while the captive was finely dressed, they were clearly from the local peasantry. They had two buckets of pitch, which explained the smell, and a bucket of sawdust.

The attackers had stripped the man of his pants, and two of them were trying to grab his legs, no doubt somehow involving the rather nasty shears that one of them was carrying. Thankfully for the poor man, his long shirt, with no pants to hold it, fell nearly to his knees.

The trapped man saw the Witcher first. “Help!” he sobbed, kicking his feet. “Help me, good sir!”

“What’s this?” Geralt asked curiously.

“This whoreson raped our sister!”

The bound man struggled. “I did no such thing!” he sobbed. “I shall confess that I bedded your sister, surely, but forced her? I, Dandelion, the great- oomph!” A punch to the stomach from one of his attackers silenced him.

“You intend to tar and feather him?” Geralt asked, glancing at the buckets. Although, perhaps ‘tar and sawdust’ would be more apt.

“Aye, Witcher,” said the man who’d landed the blow. “After we geld him, so he can’t knock up no more women.”

Dandelion - which might be the most amusing name Geralt had ever heard - lifted his head. “Please, my good men, I won’t trouble your town anymore-”

“Hit him again,” Geralt said softly, as one of the men made to strike the captive, “and I’ll cover you in your own pitch.”

“This doesn’t concern you, Witcher,” the man snarled.

Geralt raised an eyebrow.

Poor Dandelion was staring at him pleadingly, with wide cornflower blue eyes, full of fright. He supposed he could turn around and leave, but what then? They’d rip off the man’s balls (and his cock too, most likely) and cover him in scalding tar. He’d possibly die from the torment, and be horribly disfigured if he survived. And Geralt would be close enough to hear the screams. But what was his other option? Stabbing them?

“You’re right,” he said after a moment’s consideration. “But it will take me ten minutes to get out of earshot. If you start in on him sooner than that, I’ll come back and flog you all with my riding crop.”

The captive sniffled. “Oh, please!”

“You might gag him,” Geralt suggested. “Or the local constabulary might come investigating.”

Dandelion sobbed as a rope was forced into his mouth and Geralt turned and left him to the tormentors. But he doubled back, clamored onto the roof of the taller barn, and shimmed across the wooden shingles on his stomach. It was exactly what he’d planned, since he was incapable of leaving someone in such a sorry state.

He peered over the edge of the barn, where the four men were pacing impatiently, Dandelion still whimpering and tied to the wall. As he’d hoped, one of them carried the pitch into the larger barn, no doubt to keep it hot over a fire. Geralt surveyed them, studying the knots they’d tied Dandelion with. He took a rock he’d picked up and threw it, letting it bounce some distance away.

He’d learned to throw and disguise his voice to confused monsters, but it worked well enough on the men, who heard what seemed to be the arrival of curious parry goers. Two of them went out to investigate.

That left only one still in the alley with Dandelion.

Geralt watched as he stepped toward the captive, and snarled “Whore.” He kicked him between the legs and the bard yelped around his gag.

Geralt jumped down, landing behind the man, he caught him in the back of the head with a sharp blow from his elbow. Dandelion’s eyes widened at the sight of him. He used a knife to quickly saw through the ropes on his wrists, then grabbed him and drug him forward, grabbing what appeared to be the man’s pants from a pile on the ground.

“Put these on, and hurry.”

Dandelion stopped pulling at his gag, trying to remove it, and grabbed his pants instead, jerking them on quickly. Then he grabbed his boots, but before he could try to put them on, Geralt grabbed his hand and drug him away, shoving him ahead. “Run.”

Dandelion didn’t have to be told twice, and bolted back in the direction of town. Geralt checked to see that they weren’t being followed, then hurried after him. He caught up with him not far away, pulled the gag off, and then drug him to the inn, up the stairs, and into the room he’d rented.

“Oh!” Dandelion gasped, leaning against the door with a gasp. “I cannot thank you enough Sir- er Witcher?”

“Geralt of Rivia,” he said, pushing the man aside to bolt the door.

“I thought I was certainly done for!” the man said, sinking to the ground and shaking slightly. “Oh Sir Geralt-”

“Just Geralt.” He paused, then glanced down at the rather sorry man on the floor. “Are you well?”

“Me? Oh I’m wonderful! Far better than I expected to be, all things considered! I thought you meant to leave me to those men-”

“I had to get rid of them.”

“I see that now. It was brilliant, I tell you, simply brilliant!”

Geralt wasn’t certain what to say to that. “You can stay here for a few hours,” he said. “Compose yourself. I’ll stay in the lobby until-”

“Oh, no, that won’t be necessary!”

“I’m a Witcher,” Geralt reminded him. “People don’t want me in a small room with them, unless they’ve been paid to be there.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a mutant.”

Dandelion shrugged. “I’ll go if it pleases you, but- oh dear- do you suppose they’re looking for me?”

Geralt glanced out the window. “They are.”

Dandelion swore softly. “Well, Geralt,” he said suddenly. “Have you ever considered having a traveling companion? I have to leave rather more quickly than I’d anticipated, you see.”

[doctor-who-hears-a-horton]

Above Ground (Ten x Rose)

Rating: Teen

Summary: On Gallifrey, the humans who were born there are subjected to live below the surface in an underground society, separated from the Gallifreyans. School teacher Rose Tyler aims to change things, even if it costs her her own life.Prince Theta of Gallifrey has always thought there was more to the humans than meets the eye… And Rose Tyler proves him right.

Chapter 5/?

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Read it on AO3 here!

Dinner was just as fantastic as lunch, and Rose almost wondered if she was getting spoiled with the whole thing. Theta was an engaging dinner partner as well, asking her lots of questions about the underground.  He seemed very interested in her job with teaching the children.

“You must be quite knowledgeable, then,” he said, leaning forward.

“Yeah, I suppose,” Rose said, looking down. His eye contact was almost a bit too much for her- intense and unblinking.  “I have to take refresher courses every couple of years as well, just to make sure I’m teaching everything the way I’m supposed to.  There are mandates, and ways that everything is supposed to go.”

“I think it’s much the same for teachers here,” Theta said.  “There’s an order to everything on Gallifrey.”

“There’s an order to everything under Gallifrey as well,” Rose pointed out.  “There are so many rules.  So many things that we only know because everyone up here tells us how to live our lives.”

Theta’s face fell a little.  He seemed to take full responsibility for things Rassilon said, things that weren’t his fault.  The microexpressions on his face told Rose everything she needed to know about him without him saying anything at all.  

She was tired talking about it, though.  She felt like she’d said enough, told him enough, and she was curious.  She leaned forward over the table.  “So what’s this play we’re seeing?”

He beamed at her.  “It’s a classic.  Think of Earth’s Shakespeare, do you study Shakespeare.”

“It’s required.  Are we seeing a Shakespeare then?”

He shook his head, leaning back in his chair a little.  “No, it’s a traditional Gallifreyan play.  And I got us box seats.”

“On such short notice?” She furrowed her brows.  “Aren’t the tickets for plays sold in advance?”

He grinned at her, and she thought he looked a bit cocky, but it certainly wasn’t unwarranted.  “I’m the crown prince.” She felt a light blush color her cheeks, feeling a little stupid for not thinking about that sooner.  “Oh,” she said softly, letting herself laugh a little.  “If we’re up high, no one will see me then?”

“Probably not. Even if they do, it’s not that big of a deal.  People know better than to interrogate me about my company.”

Rose raised her eyebrows at him. “Oh?  You keep company with a lot of young women, then?”

She said it teasingly, but his eyes flicked around the room uncertainly.  “Um.  No, not a lot.  I suppose I was a bit wilder in my younger days though.”

“And how old are you?” Rose asked.  It seemed she couldn’t stop asking him questions.

“I’m five hundred and twelve,” he said, poking at his dinner and not looking at her.  “Is that alright?”

“Yeah.  I expected you’d be quite old,” she said.

“Oi!  I’m not old! I’m not even middle age.”

She giggled and tapped her temple. “I know.  I’ve studied you, remember?”

He smiled a little sheepishly at her.  “Oh, well.  I suppose I forgot.”

************

Rose was nervous going out at night, but Theta let her hold his arm, and gave her a gold chain to wear around her neck.  When she’d looked at him curiously, question in her eyes, he’d shrugged, and rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s… It’ll make you look a little fancier.  We don’t have time to get you any more new outfits.”

She smiled a little.  “I’m not asking you to.”

 “I know! I just wanted to make it clear.”

The theatre was in a part of the town she’d never been to before.They were close enough, Theta had explained, that they could walk.  The palace was at the center of a lot of the entertainment in the city.  And since it was dark, she didn’t really have to worry too much about people seeing her and asking her questions. But it seemed that the Gallifreyans were more worried about themselves than looking at the blonde girl hanging off the prince.  Though, with his muted robes, no one seemed to be looking at him either.  Rose glanced up at his face a few times as they walked, noting how sharp his eyes were.  He always seemed to be looking out for something to go wrong, and his jaw was clenched.  It was clear that this was something he’d done before, and worried about before. 

“Are there…” Rose cleared her throat.  “There was an assassination attempt, about two hundred years ago.  I’ve read about it, we teach it in the school.  Do you worry about that, still?”

He glanced down at her, surprised. “A bit, I suppose.  I’m concerned someone will try to kill me to get to Rassilon.  I think it’s a rational fear.” “Oh, no! I didn’t mean to suggest that it wasn’t.  You just looked on edge.”

“Mm. I don’t mean to be.  Not on your first night being out on a town!”  he turned a million watt smile on her and she couldn’t help but return it.

They entered a huge playhouse, and once they stepped over the threshold, Rose felt her jaw drop.  The building was disgustingly ornate, with gold and red dripping from almost everything, and it was beautiful.  Rose clutched Theta’s arm a little tighter, staring up at the paintings on the ceiling. 

“I’ve seen pictures,” she said softly.  “It’s nothing like the real thing.  Nothing at all.”

If she’d looked, she would’ve seen Theta regarding her with a fond glance.  He was living through her, in a way, seeing all the wonderful things he’d grown up around, but for the first time, again.  Rose’s fingernails dug into his arm through his robes as they moved through the lobby, pushing past other patrons.  A few people recognized Theta and stopped him, and he obliged every person who struck up a conversation with him.  For the most part, they ignored her.  A few of the women who talked to him glanced her way, disapprovingly, and she had sort of a feeling she knew what that was about.  Since he wasn’t introducing her though, they seemed to respect that he wasn’t going to tell them who she was. 

“Well, it’s been lovely chatting,” Theta beamed at the last woman, who had flirted a little incessently, “But, as much as I am a man of the people, we’ve got to get up to our box.”

He led her up a set of golden stairs to their box, off to the side to the right of the stage.  Rose watched all the people below, as they milled about and found their seats, chatting animatedly with one another.  She’d never seen so many people in one place before, even the school never got this full.  She placed her hands on the railing of the box and peered over the edge.  

“Your people really love you,” she said, watching one of the people she recognized from the lobby.

“I suppose,” Theta lifted his shoulder. “I’ve tried pretty hard to be a favorable prince.  Kindness is key.”

“I’ve read that Rassilon is… Harsh.”

“He is.  He means well, for the most part. He’s just a bit odd.”  Theta laughed a little.  “But, he practically raised me, so I probably understand him a lot better than anyone else who’s trying to decipher the things he says.”

Rose turned back to him.  “Despite everything, despite all the trouble he gives you, you still love him, huh?”

Theta lifted a shoulder and took a seat.  “I suppose.  Do you have any family, Rose?”

She sat next to him, marvelling at how comfortable the plush red chair was.  She shifted around a little bit, leaning back against the high backed chair.  “Well, yeah.  Just my mum, though.  My dad died when I was a baby, and my mom never remarried, so I don’t have any other siblings.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Mm.  It’s okay.  I never really knew him, so I can’t really miss him.”  She wasn’t looking at him, more looking out at the theatre and embracing how wonderful everything around her was.  She’d never been in a building so huge.  She tilted her head back, looking up at the ceiling.  It was painted, and looked incredibly old.  “Do you ever feel like the ceiling will just fall down on you?” “Ah… No, I can’t say I have.”

“Any building, in the underground.  It’s all connected, all solid.  So, I could just-” She reached up, mimicking fingertips brushing a ceiling.  “So i just… It makes me feel small.”

“Are you okay?” Theta turned his body towards her, a hand on her arm. “If you’re feeling overwhelmed, we can-”

“No,” Rose turned to look at him.  “I think it’s good to feel small.  Make yourself remember that you’re not the most important thing in the universe.”

“I think…”  He took a deep breath through his nose, glancing towards the crowd below them and then back at her.  “I think you’ve felt small your whole life.  You deserve to feel something else.”

Rose felt her own gaze soften, and she smiled a little. “That’s very kind of you to say. I’d like… I’d like to earn that feeling, though.”

“You risked your life to come up to the surface. You didn’t know what would happen.  What anyone who saw you would do. But you did it anyway.”  Theta seemed suddenly earnest, his grip tightening on her arm. “I think you have more of an adventurer’s spirit than I do.”

“You’ve had hundreds of years to travel, so I highly doubt that,” Rose laughed.  “I’d like to go off world someday, though.”

“You mentioned going back to Earth?”

“Yeah.  But there are other places to go too.  I just don’t know where home is yet.  I just know it’s not anything that’s down there.”

Theta opened his mouth to say something, but the lights went down and the curtains on the stage pulled back.  Rose’s attention wasn’t on him even a little anymore, as she looked away from him and leaned forward in her seat.  Theta smiled a little at her, and turned back to the stage as well.

It was a classic Gallifreyan play, and if it held some similarities to Hamlet, Rose didn’t say anything.  She was enraptured.  Reading the words on the page (and she had read this play, she had informed Theta excitedly) had nothing on seeing everything on the page.  It was beautiful.  The lighting, the glittering costumes…. Rose did feel overwhelmed then, but not enough to make her want to leave.  Instead it felt exhilarating, and she wanted more of it.  More culture, more experiences.  After seeing this, she knew that going back underground wouldn’t be an option.   

After the play was over, Rose had plenty of questions for Theta, and she quizzed him all the way back to the palace.  

“Amazing!  The way they do everything, they really bring the words to life.” She beamed up at him.  “Brilliant.  How do you not see these every night?”

He laughed.  “Believe me, it gets boring.”

“I can’t… I know it’s where I live, but I don’t want to go to the underground tomorrow.”  She felt herself sobering a little. 

He squeezed her arm.  “If I have anything to say about it, you won’t have to stay down there.”

By the time they got back to the palace, no one was about, and it was easy to sneak Rose back up to the guest room.  They’d ended up holding hands somewhere along the way, and Theta swung their arms between them, making her laugh a little.  She turned when they reached her door, looking back to grin up at him.

“Thank you,” Rose said softly.  “You didn’t have to do all this for me, tonight.”

“No, I didn’t,” Theta admitted. “I wanted to.”  His eyes softened, and the look confused Rose.  She’d never seen someone look at her that way.  She cocked her head to the side.  

“What is it?” She asked him.

“Nothing,” He shook his head, but didn’t let go of her hand.  “It’s just… All this time, I’ve imagined what the humans in the Underground were like and… You’ve surpassed every expectation I could’ve had.”

She blushed under his heavy gaze, uncertain on what the fluttering feeling in her stomach was.  “Well, you’ll meet a million just like me tomorrow.”

He lifted his other hand, and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I don’t think I’ll meet anyone else quite like you.”

She smiled up at him.  “That’s kind of you.”

“I mean it.”

Rose squeezed his hand and removed hers, bowing her head slightly.  “Goodnight then.  Wake me when we should get a move on.”

He took the cue, stepping back from her and offering a tight smile.  “Of course.  See you in the morning.” She disappeared into the door, leaning back on it as she closed it.  She had a lot to process before the morning.

[alter-me-away-from-public-eye]

Synopsis: Alex is Jared Padalecki’s cousin and bestfriend. She first meets Jensen Ackles when he came to Jared’s but lost contact with him after the break. But when the Supernatural cast went to Italy for a convention, they now have a second chance at a relationship.

Warnings: Slight smut, fluff

Part 6: First Date (Mostly Alex)

Jared

I woke up with somebody else's leg over my own. Looking at the clock on my bedside table without having to wake up Alex, and seeing that it was only 7 in the morning, I wanted to go back to sleep so bad. But when I closed my eyes, I felt the leg vanish over me and movement clear beside me. Slowly, I turned around to see Alex already sitting on the edge of the bed with her face staring at her phone screen.

"Why are up so early?" I asked.

"Jensen asked me out on a date." she whispered.

I knew. Jensen asked me first if he could ask her out on a date. Of course I said he could but only if she wanted to.

"I know. He told me"

"He did?" She frowned. "I suppose you told him to go for it, right?"

"Naturally. Why? What's wrong?"

She shifted unconsciously and turned to look at me. "I said yes but I'm not sure if I should have."

"What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "I guess I don't want to start something I know I couldn't finish."

This time, I sighed. Alex knows the struggle of dating a celebrity. And I have myself to blame for that. Of all the girls I've dated before, no one really stayed, mostly because of the schedule I had. If I ever dated someone from the industry, none lasted longer than a year. And Alex knows all about it. She thinks guys with my kind of job would do better with girls who doesn't work or go to school so the girl won't mind having to leave at the last minute or travel for a long time. But she also says having a girl like that would mean we have to work double to pay for everything.

"Long distance relationships do exist, Al." I tried telling her. "Like us."

"It's not the same. You're my cousin and I know even though we don't get to talk for a long time, you will always be there. And I don't have to worry about you cheating on me, duh." she rolled her eyes at me. "Not like it matters anyway. I won't let this get farther."

Knowing my cousin, nothing I say would change her mind. Instead, I'd just let her be and hope Jensen can actually get through her.

Alex

I have nothing to wear tonight.

Jensen will be picking me up in a few hours yet I'm still wearing sweats. I called up my mom if she'd like to go shopping but she said she had matters to attend. I have my other cousins in town that might come but I don't really want to bother them today especially since it looks like another thunderstorm is coming. Maybe Jensen will cancel the date, though.

As I was actually hoping for a cancelation, my phone buzzed.

Jensen: Wear something nice. Don't worry about the storm. It'll pass soon.

"Great." I mumbled to myself.

Not knowing a lot of people here, I called the only person I know I can bother as much as I like. My brother.

"Hey Max, wanna go shopping?"

"No."

"C'mon! My treat!" I bribed.

I heard a muffled sound over the phone, probably asking dad if he could go shopping with me. "Yeah sure, but I'm driving."

We got to the mall just in time as rain started pouring. It's only half past 11 so I still had hours left before the date. Max wanted to eat first, and being the best sister that I am, I let him choose where. We ended up eating at some italian restaurant, of all places. Max's taste buds are very italian, unlike mine. I still prefer good ol' grilled steak.

I can see a lot of girls eyeing my brother while he sat there not having a care in the world. I must say, between us siblings, Max got the better genes. He's more European than he is American. And he's tall too. 15 and already catching up with me. Mind you, I'm the tallest among my friends.

I dragged him inside a boutique I found that seemed alright. There weren't much people around so it was easy to look around. Even though Max hated shopping, I can always depend on his choices. I took out a few dresses to try and each one I had Max to judge. Two dresses out, I'm already trying on the third one. It was a simple backless black dress with a slit on one side that stops right on my thigh. It wasn't slutty but it's not completely innocent either, just the right amount.

I walked out from the changing room and Max nodded approvingly. I looked in the mirror and thought, for about half a second, that I looked like the kind if person I would totally have a girl crush on if I haven't really known myself. I changed back to my original clothes and paid for the dress. The saleslady recommended buying the black pair of heels it goes best with and I did. Satisfied, I left the store and looked for Max. He was already waiting for me by the railings.

"Do you want anything?" I asked.

"I might need new shoes." He smirked. I nodded and let him lead the way. We went inside a Nike store and his face instantly lit up. If there's one thing I know about my brother, it's his love for shoes and books. As he was out there choosing, I sat by one of the benches they had. I took out my phone and noticed I received an email.

To: Alex Lewis

Subject: Project

I'm sorry to bother you this holiday season, Ms. Lewis. The client wants a little alteration in the design. I'm sending you the details with this message and hope that you can find the time to look it over while you are at the America.

R. S.

I groaned. It was enough to think about a date with Jensen, but to add another work problem is a disaster. I decided to stay at one issue at a time and actually focus on tonight's event since it has been a while since I've been on a date.

Max came up to me a few minutes later with a pair of sneakers on hand. I gave him my card and told him to pay for it himself. He happily took it and walked away. At least someone is happy.

We got to the hotel around three in the afternoon. I still have to inform Jensen to pick me up at the hotel instead of Jared's house. As soon as I sent the message, I quickly went to shower. My body relaxes as the warm water hit my skin.

I stepped out of the shower smelling like strawberries and peach, dried my hair and body, and put on black lacy underwear. Then, I put on the dress effortlessly. Living in Milan, a fashion driven city, I learned to dress up. I applied a little make up and brushed my hair carefully. Just as I was about to be done, Max knocked and peeked a little through the open door.

"Some guy left this for you." He handed me a white box tied with a black ribbon.

"What guy?" I asked.

"The one at Jared's backyard. He called me down."

I opened the box and a beautiful silver necklace with a heart pendant surprised me. This is just what I need to complete the look! I slowly put it on me and without thinking, I touched the heart shaped pendant.

"He said he'll be waiting at the lobby." Max informed.

I nodded.

It took me about 10 minutes to reach the lobby. He was sitting at the couch wearing a black suit and tie. So formal. I didn't realize we were matching outfits. When he saw me, he immediately stood and walked towards me. I smiled at him and took the hand he offered.

"You look beautiful" he whispered.

"You don't look bad yourself" I giggled.

He led me to a black SUV and I got in. He walked over to the driver's seat and started the ignition. All my worries washed away by how beautiful the night was. No one would think it rained like hell earlier because tonight, the sky was as clear as it can be.

I don't know how long we've been driving but we stopped outside a rather small restaurant just outside town. Being the gentleman that he is, he opened the door for me and offered his hand. I gladly took it and let him lead me inside.

The restaurant was lit dimly but just enough for me to realize where we are. I thought it was a simple dinner but when I looked around, I saw the most beautiful paintings all over the room. We were guided by a host to our seats. There aren't a lot of people here tonight. It was just me, Jensen, and two other couples by the end of the room.

"This is wonderful." I said, a little too pleased.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Thanks for the necklace, by the way." I beamed, touching the pendant with my index and thumb.

"No problem. It looks perfect on you." I've never seen him smile so wide and bright like tonight. At that moment, all my fears seemed to disappear. Somehow I hoped this wouldn't be the last.

We ordered our food, had champagne, and talked a little about our day until the food arrived.

"By the way, I forgot to give you this the other day." He took out a cd from his jacket pocket and handed it to me.

I turned it over and squealed excitedly. He gave me a Panic! at the Disco album on our date! "I can't seem to stop thanking you tonight." I smiled.

"You don't have to. Having you here with me is more than enough"

Dinner came through smoothly. Jensen was so easy to talk to. He's funny, charming, and looking like a greek god clearly didn't help my plan to turn him down. I don't think I can ever turn him down.

He asked for the check and I offered to pay at least half of the bill but he wouldn't hear of it. When we got out, I thought we'd go directly to the car but he took my hand on his and guided me through the sidewalk. I felt the cold breeze on my back I started to shiver. He must have felt it because he let go of my hand and took his jacket off and put on me. I smiled as I felt the warmth and scent of his body still stuck inside the coat. He took my hand again and I was more than glad to accept. With courage, I intertwined my fingers with his. He seemed to be happy with it as he tightened his grip on my hand. We stopped at a park bench just a few blocks from the restaurant. We never said a word since we started walking but I wasn't complaining. We said more than we can without even talking.

"Thank you." I whispered.

He looked at me with the same wide and bright smile before slowly leaning closer to me. I was staring at his beautiful green eyes as he was getting closer. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips brush on mine for a second and then let go. I opened my eyes and saw those green eyes again, staring intently. Without a second thought, his lips were connected to mine once again, this time more passionately. He placed a hand on my cheek and another on my waist, pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck to do the same. I felt his tongue touch my lower lip and I parted my lips just enough to allow him enter. We were like that for a few minutes before needing to part and breathe.

"can we continue this over at my place?" he whispered. I felt shivers over my body at his voice. Not trusting my own, I nodded. We walked back to the restaurant with hands intertwined and hearts one.

The drive back to his house was longer than anticipated. I wasn't sure what to expect when we get there. I don't normally go sneaking around on the first date, much more sneak around with the kind of person I never expected to sneak around with.

The moment his front door closed, he had me pinned on the wall and kissed the italian out of me. His hands were on my waist, tightening. Mine were around his neck pulling him closer. I felt a bulge on my thigh and giggled through the kiss.

"Somebody's a little excited." I whispered on his ear as he left lingering kisses on my neck.

"What are you doing to me?" He whispered back, a moan escaping his lips when I grinded my hips over his hardening pants.

He took off his tie in a matter of seconds and led me to his room. I walked over to the bed and sat at the edge, removing my shoes. Slowly, I let one strap of my dress slip off revealing half of my chest to him. He was still standing by the door, leaning, with a huge plastered smile on his face and eyes filled with so much emotion.

With all the courage I could gather, I stood and I let my dress fall off me, leaving me in nothing but my black lacy panties.

"are you just gonna stand there gawking?" I whispered.

"I might." he responded, hands travelling to unbutton his black shirt and moving closer. His gesture towards the bed may as well be the unveiling of my heart. And the stripping of all my clothes. I could feel my legs getting weaker by the moment as the cool air brushed my naked torso. In attempt to keep my core controlled and not come at the view, I tightened my legs together. But the moan that escaped my mouth gave all of it up.

He ran his hand up and down my shoulder as he kissed the top of my head. .

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Yes."

He pushed me gently on the bed as I felt my back hit the soft mattress. He was hovering over me, shirtless, kissing and sucking on my jaw. I closed my eyes in pleasure and found my hands roaming over his back. He nibbled softly on my neck causing me to whimper. He smiled at himself and went further down to my breast. He sucked one nipple softly while a hand kneaded the other. We were both whimpering as I reached in between our bodies to unbutton his dress pants. His breathing hitched as I found his lips back on my own. I pushed his pants down and he wiggled to get it off him. I felt his covered hard cock rub against my covered wetness as his hands tightened around my waist.

He pulled away before slowly removing his boxers. His quivering member, hard and swollen, sprang free. I saw him smirk when I tried to cover a moan. He hovered back over me and kissed my forehead. His right hand travelled down slowly, leaving soft touches all over my body as he reached my stomach. Without warning, he pushed a hand inside my underwear causing me to moan loudly and yank his hair. He rubbed my clit softly as I try to close my legs.

"Keep them open." he whispered.

I obliged and arched my back as he rubbed harder. He brushed his fingers across my folds to gather the wetness and went to push a finger inside me. I moaned louder than I hoped as he added another finger and began pushing it in and out, curling them in the process. I felt my legs shake and my stomach fill as I was close to releasing. "Come for me" he said while nibbling on my ear. And so I did. I came on his hands, trembling.

He kissed me softly as he pulled my underwear down. He reached to grab a small packet on his night stand and tore it open.

He looked over me before kissing me again. "Tell me if you want to stop."

I nodded.

I felt his hand on my waist as I reached over his shoulders. He was looking intently at me trying to figure if I had second thoughts. I smiled at him and kissed his nose. He reached in between us and pumped his cock a few times before rubbing it along my slit. My breathing grew heavier by the time and I moaned quietly. He carefully aligned himself into my entrance and pushed inside slowly. I closed my eyes at the sudden feeling and wrapped my legs around him. He stayed motionless for about a minute before slowly pulling himself out. I gasped as he pushed back in. Pleasure went over me and I pulled him closer. He kissed my neck with so much passion as my hands went to grip on his hair. His pace increased, hitting my gspot repeatedly and by then, we were both a moaning mess.

"So perfect" he whispered and reached over to rub my clit.

I felt my release growing closer and closer, eyes still closed from all the pleasure.

"I'm gonna come" I moaned into his ear.

"Come for me, babe." I felt him twitch inside me and couldn't stop myself from coming all over his cock. I trembled under him and he continued to push and pull out, making sloppy noises as he did. His breathing hitched and his pace became more and more irregular. About two thrusts in, his cock twitched again and spilled his juices inside me. He thrusted a few more times to help both of us ride our highs before stopping. He staying inside of me for a few more minutes, green eyes scanning my face, and fingers brushing hair strands over my ear.

He pulled himself out and rolled next to me. He pulled me in towards his chest and kissed the top of my hair.

"You are amazing in every way." he said with full emotion.

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his hands run up and down my bare back. He pulled the covers over us with his free hand and pulled me closer as possible. His warmth was enough to help me sleep.

"Good night, J." I whispered.

"Good night, Alex."

Jensen

I woke up to the smell of strawberries washing over me, my arms around a beautiful girl curled next to my naked body. I can't help but smile thinking about last night. It wasn't just sex. No. It was more than that.

I gently brushed a finger over her cheek and her eyes flutter open.

"Good morning." she spoke, snuggling closer into me.

"Good morning." I said, leaning in for a quick peck on her forehead.

We stayed like that for a few minutes before she rolled off the bed and fished through her purse, looking for something. When she found what she's been looking for, she came climbing back to straddle on my chest, naked. I laughed when she brushed her leg on my side but before I can stop, she snapped a photo of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Making a memory." She answered, leaning in for a quick kiss.

I grabbed her waist and pulled her to the side as I rolled on top of her. She laughed. I found myself in awe at the movement of her lips and can't help but stare.

"Stop looking at me like that." She giggled.

"Like what?" I smirked.

"Like that." she pointed at me, giggling. I pushed myself into her, enough to be able to rest my head under her chin without crushing her with my weight. I felt her hand play with the hair at the back of my head and another rubbing circles on my back.

"As much as I want to stay, I really need to go." She whispered.

I can hear myself grunt. "Five minutes." I pleaded.

She sighed but nodded.

"Let me drive you home." I offered when we reached the front door.

"You don't have to. I called a cab." she replied, smiling.

I leaned for another kiss which she responded with enthusiasm. Her hair was tied in a messy pony tail, face washed fresh without any makeup, shoes in hand, and a borrowed shirt. But still, I can't seem to help myself think she's the most beautiful girl I've seen in the world.

"Call me when you get home." I said. She got in the cab and waved goodbye.

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