#''oh'' [ugly duckling realization that there is something wrong with you] | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

teklarn · 3 years ago

Note

hi, this is my first ever ask so I'm not sure I'm doing this correctly, if that's the case I'm sorry; I don't know how tumblr works just yet >:')

would it be possible for you to write something about bakugo, pining incredibly hard for fem!reader and initially hating how strongly he feels about her? because they're not even friends, they only exchange few words occasionally and she doesn't even glance at his way whereas he slowly finds himself unable to divert his eyes from her during classes? shes always with damn deku and his friends and doesn't even seem interested in him at all but his heart can't ignore the way she looks at him proudly whenever they spar together, the way she sends him small confident smiles as they fight each other with all they have; so he thinks that maybe, maybe he might have a chance. basically bakugo liking reader so much he's completely lost in self-hatred because he always thought feelings were for weak romantics and not great people like him, but everytime he sees reader doing some badass things (again, like sparring with him and basically matching his skills etc...) he's reminded of how badly he likes reader? but when he finally accepts he's fallen for reader, after ignoring and trying to forget about how she makes him feel, he masters up the courage to confess? and it's a very clumsy confession because he's awkward and has no idea how to deal with those feelings? and he tries so hard to make reader realise he's never been more serious than now? and reader is startled and speechless before rejecting him? and at that point he's just completely humiliated, so he nods and walks away.

it might be a little dramatic but I've always been into unrequited love and one-sided pining. thank you, its okay if you don't want to write about this, i'll understand <33

𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader (my hero academia)

reblogs are greatly appreciated!

a/n: AHHHHH this is so cute <33 honestly this is super exciting for me and this ask made me so happy, lovey. i’m fairly new to tumblr, i’m usually just a reader but i wanted to migrate here from wattpad so this made me so happy. here u are my love <33 i hope this lives up to what u wanted !! :)) a bit lengthy, but i had a lot of fun writing it !!!

summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you.

genre: fluffy, fluffier than the clouds istg, however the clouds are sprinking a little teeny weeny droplet of angst.

warnings: cursing (bakugou, duhh), one-sided pining (on bakugou’s part) second hand embarrassment (on bakugou’s part bc we can all agree he’s a complete idiot when it comes to trying to get someone’s attention), just bakugou being a jackass, i gave the reader a quirk

word count: 3,859

(pls excuse any typos or mistakes, i edited to the best of my ability but i miss some things sometimes !)

- - -

part 2 is here my loves <3

brutal. it was utterly ruthless. he couldn’t focus, couldn’t think right. his hands were already exceptionally sweaty, but gosh when he saw your damn face, he was ready to explode. literally.

what the hell was it about you? was it your stupid smile? or the way you just seemed to carry every battle on your back? was it all the undeniably sweet things you do for others ‘just because’?

it made him angry that he thought about you, but gosh he couldn’t wait to see you every day.

just like any other day, bakugou found himself staring at the large door to the classroom, awaiting the moment you would bounce into his day, skirt shifting around your legs, bag slung loosely around your shoulders.

his leg was bouncing eagerly.

bakugou didn’t know when the feelings came. his cheeks just started flaring up all of a sudden and one day you just looked...different. you hadn’t done anything different to yourself. it was just him. not that he would ever admit that, to you or anybody else.

you were insufferable. you were stupid and obnoxious and so...so damn...

“y/n! come look at this!”

you’d come walking into class just as expected, and as soon as you did, that stupid nerd had called you over.

it didn’t help that deku sat right behind him, either. the two of you had recently gotten closer. bakugou noticed it last month when he yelled at the two of you to shut up about all might and get to work. he’d turned around to find you leaning over deku, hands resting on his shoulders while you peered at his phone.

“sorry, bakugou,” you’d said, barely acknowledging him. you had waved him off like an annoying fly. is that all you were to him? some nuisance that got in the way of your oh-so-entertaining conversations with deku?

all he heard nearly every day was your chipper voice talking to deku. always, “oh my gosh, midoriya, did you see the fight edgeshot was in last night?” or “midoriya! i have something to add to our quirk analysis book!”

that was the one that took the cake. you two dorks shared a notebook, occasionally passed between one another, and filled it with junk about quirks and pro heroes. but no matter how much he tried to tune you out, no matter how he tried to zone off and think about something else, you were always there. it made him want to vomit how much he thought about you.

you were doing an adorable shuffle over to midoriya’s desk and leaned over the table as you usually did while he angled his phone your way. “did you see this hero report?”

deku let you slip the phone out of his grasp to get a better look.

“no,” you breathed. “was this just recent?”

“yeah,” deku said, taking the phone back. “last night.”

“holy—”

“can you guys shut up over there?” bakugou said, his voice quaking.

“sorry, kacchan.” deku scrolled through the article.

dammit, bakugou thought. “i wasn’t talking to you, nerd. i was talking to shitface over here.” he jerked his head towards you. his eyes flared in anger when he saw you were looking down at your phone, now focused in on the article yourself. “i was talking to you, asshat!”

your eyes flicked up to his. you looked around for a moment before slowly pointing to yourself as if to say, “me?”

his face scrunched. “yeah, you. you’re so damn loud.” gosh, he hated how his voice was cracking, how he could feel his ears and cheeks lighting up in a swollen, cherry red. his stomach flipped.

she’s looking at you, gosh i’m sweating. i’m going to throw up. she’s so gorgeous. what the hell? they’re ugly as shit, i don’t think anything of them.

his eyes bore into yours.

“did you...need something?”

your voice broke his trance.

“kacchan, are you okay? you dozed off there for a second. you look like you’re burning up.”

bakugou looked to deku who was currently stretching out of his seat, arm extended. he pressed the back of his hand to bakugou’s forehead. “you’re really warm, kacchan. should we call recovery girl?”

it took him a moment to realize what was happening. his vision got blurry every time he was with you. bakugou smacked deku’s hand away. “i’m fine!” his voice lifted at the end, cracking. “i’m not sick. don’t you think i’d take better care of myself?”

“i don’t doubt you take good care of yourself, kacchan, but everyone gets sick once in a while. there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“i never get sick!” besides, if i got sick, i wouldn’t want you to be the one taking care of me.

he was still pissed. he was always in a bad mood, however, more so right now because you’d gone straight back to your phone and that stupid hero article that was supposedly so damn interesting.

soon enough, the bell rang, and you were seated at your desk. it was jirou’s old spot, however, after much convincing, you two had switched spots so you could be closer to deku. just a few months of getting close to the idiot and you two are suddenly best friends. jirou hadn’t minded one tiny bit, claiming she needed a break from how loud that section of the room was.

late as always, aizawa came trudging into your room. thankfully, his entire body wasn’t obscured by a yellow sleeping bag that smelled of something unwashed and coffee and gasoline. (for some reason, aizawa’s clothes always smelled of it.)

“lucky for you,” he began while shuffling papers on his desk, “all of you are doing training for these first periods.”

the class cheered in perfect unison, followed by their individual chatter. you had erupted with glee along with them, and bakugou was sure he felt his heart clench and then explode. just a tiny bit. but he shoved the feeling down just as quickly as it had come up.

“go out to the field and wait for further instructions. don’t make a sound in the halls otherwise, i’ll expel all of you.”

this shut everyone up in almost a second, the sound draining out just as water does. the first years trailed out into the hall, single-file mimicking the positions baby ducklings would take when following their mother.

bakugou found himself walking faster when he saw you take up your spot in the line, hoping to land his spot right behind you.

unfortunately, this idiot who considered himself bakugou’s friend tugged him back. “bakugou!” a familiar voice rasped.

“shitty hair, let go of me.”

“hey man, chill out. wanna partner up if we’re doing training in pairs?”

bakugou glanced at the line, the spot that should have been reserved for him now taken up by sato.

bakugou tugged his sleeve from kirishima’s hand. “whatever,” he snapped.

“sounds good!” kirishima flashed him a toothy grin and a thumbs-up. the bubbly feeling in bakugou’s chest died down as he stood behind sato, the overwhelming scent of sugar filling his nose, various candies that would go straight to your arteries.

“you smell like ass, damn,” bakugou remarked, squeezing his nostrils together.

luckily, sato was tall enough to not hear the insult, as he towered over bakugou by just another head. the line began moving like a sloppy train down to the change rooms.

bakugou scoffed as he listened to your giggle. he should be making you laugh.

“you’ll be given partners randomly from this box.” aizawa held up a familiar red box. “inside are all your names. i’ll select one, then that person will come up and pick another name from the box. that will be your assigned partner for today. as soon as you have your assigned partner, i want you guys to get straight to work.”

denki raised a hand, speaking before being called on. “sensei, why are we getting random partners? we’re always allowed to choose.”

“in the real world, you’re going to come across different villains every day. you’ll never improve your skills or your quirks if you keep fighting the same person.”

denki sighed, slumping back.

dammit, bakugou thought, gritting his teeth together. there wasn’t any way he wanted to be partners with you. it’s obvious he’d win the fight in the first few seconds.

yes! exactly right! bakugou internally grinned. his fluctuating feelings had finally soothed themselves. you were just another extra, and he had no room for you in his head.

aizawa took a moment to fiddle with the slips of paper inside the box. soon enough, he pulled out a name. “todoroki.”

todoroki walked up, digging his hand into the box when aizawa held it out for him. he pulled out a name, delicately unraveling the slip. “uraraka, you’re my partner.” he deadpanned.

the brunette grinned. “great!”

the two found their own spot on the field, and the class’s attention was once again diverted to their grouchy teacher as he pulled out another name.

“bakugou.”

bakugou strutted up without a worry in his mind. he pulled a name to find...

“y/n,” he said, voice a low growl. instead of the annoying fluttering in his chest, his eyes met yours, and they were filled with a different, new ferocity. he crumpled the paper in one hand, letting it twirl to the ground.

you looked at him, unsmiling. your eyes gave away nothing, and to bakugou’s knowledge, all you saw in him was another opponent.

it took him a moment to realize you had both locked eyes for about a minute. perhaps the two of you would have stayed as you were if aizawa hadn’t snapped at the two of you to get moving as yaomomo’s name was called.

bakugou was on his way to the back of the field, you followed close behind. while there was plenty of room still, he chose a secluded area. while it was still open enough to view everything going on so nobody got hurt, it was often nobody chose to train here. for whatever reason, you weren’t sure.

“wait up, bakugou,” you said. after a bit, you caught up to him.

“if you can’t keep up, then...” then what? he looked at you from the side of his eye. “then don’t keep up...” gosh, here came the embarrassing, disgusting feeling of redness in his cheeks.

you laughed. “what?”

“shut up.”

“you’re an idiot, bakugou.”

“i said shut the hell up!”

“what, so you can call me shitface in front of the entire class but you get all pissed when i call you an idiot?”

so you had heard him!

he tongued his cheek, curling his hands around an invisible ball, explosions sparking in the centers of his palms. “don’t expect me to hold back, dumbass.”

“i wouldn’t dream of it.”

gosh he loved that about you.

bakugou caught his thought in the air.

ahem...gosh he hated that about you.

you both charged in at the same time. his cry was louder than yours, but you struck first.

he admired your quirk. while he’d overhead you explaining all the drawbacks it had, it was strong, and you were strong because you knew how to control it.

purple arrows flew from your arms, going in your desired directions. if you lost focus for one moment, they’d vanish and weaken. if you focused too hard or long, you’d be plagued by a splitting headache.

he’d spent too much time obsessing over your strengths and weaknesses.

your arrows were weightless, however they were solid objects capable of carrying any mass, any thing, and worked as extensions of your body.

the violet arrow had shot out at him, twisting around his right gauntlet and crushing inwards. it’d snaked around him without him noticing, slithering along his back.

bakugou struggled to get the air-light arrow off his wrist, but it was no use. he glared back, only to see your focused, furrowed brows. he’d expected to see your cocky ass smiling. it was nice to see you weren’t.

that was one thing that had also caught his eye. you never underestimate your opponent, but you never underestimate yourself, either.

you conjured a larger arrow. it snaked around your right arm as you hurled bakugou into the air, releasing your grasp on him. you shot your other arrow into the air, and it raced into the sky.

it swerved. bakugou’s eyes went wide as the tip of the arrow came down on his chest. if they weren’t intangible things, he would have been bleeding out.

another drawback: the arrows, while they could solidify, they couldn’t do any actual damage. you had to use your surroundings to inflict harm on your opponent.

he coughed out as the arrow shot him into the ground. he hadn’t even touched you, and here he was, vulnerable and so...so...

you stood over him, hands on your hips.

vulnerable and so lost in that adorable, winning smile.

“get away from me, idiot,” he grunted and turned onto his side, his back crying out in pain.

“i think i won this fight, bakugou,” you chirped, rocking on your heels.

“don’t get arrogant, shithead. you won’t be winning against me anymore.”

you grinned, arrows shooting out behind your back.

the dorms were exceptionally quiet. you were typing away in the common room, bakugou on the couch reading. everyone was off doing something else. it was the weekend, luckily. he’d expected you to go bounding out with everyone else, however you’d stayed back, claiming you had some homework to catch up on.

bakugou being classic bakugou had stayed back. he was excited to have the dorm to himself, but your dumbass was stuck here with him. couldn’t you have done your typing in your room?

you were so aggressive on that poor keyboard.

“oi, quiet down with your shit typing.”

you barely grunted in response.

“don’t ignore me.”

“i heard you, mom.”

“the hell did you call me?”

no response. only your aggressive typing is a bit less aggressive.

“i can still hear it,” bakugou remarked, eyes fixed on your back.

“‘kay,” you said. your typing slowed a tad, and your pressure on the keys lessened.

it was quiet now. bakugou should go back to his book. he shouldn’t still be looking for a reason to talk to you.

the pages crinkled in his fingers. he bit his tongue, keeping his snarky comments in.

“you’re a fucking idiot, you know that? doing your damn homework. it’s due tomorrow.”

you turned, pursing your lips. “and how would you know what i’m working on? are you stalking me?”

“i- what? no. you’re such an idiot, of course i’m not—”

“i’m messing with you,” you breathed, face un-moving.

“o-oh,” bakugou stuttered out. he blinked awkwardly.

“gosh, what’s gotten your panties in a twist?”

“you’re annoying.”

“you’re a jackass.” you returned to your work. bakugou settled with reading in his room. reading consisted of jumping onto his bed just as the stereotypical high school girl would in an eighties movie. he buried his face in his pillow, face burning bright red. he cursed you for making him feel this way, and hated himself even more for how much he enjoyed it.

the next day came swiftly. you’d left early to go train with midoriya. there were many improvements needed to be made, but you weren’t doing too bad.

you propelled yourself forwards with an arrow, and your green-haired friend shot back, lightning flickering around his body.

landing back on the ground, you panted and swiped the sweat from your brow. from the corner of your eye, you could make out both kirishima and bakugou coming to the training grounds.

bakugou stopped in his tracks, frowning at the sight of you.

it was evident he hated you a bit more than everyone else. he was always making his annoying comments, he was always snubbing you. you saw no reason to talk to him, so you didn’t. either way, even if you tried, he would still get angry for no reason.

it’d taken you quite some time to get used to his obnoxious attitude. tuning him out had been the best course of action, in your opinion.

the way you and midoriya had bonded was through bakugou, in a way. the first day of school, bakugou had snapped at you for tripping over your laces and nearly crashing into him. later that day, midoriya had stepped up and apologized for his old friend’s actions.

you two had never been too close until now. the recent incidents going on with the league of villains had snagged your attention, and it seemed you were the only person who didn’t mind listening to him ramble on about heroes.

you were just as passionate and just as dorky, but midoriya could talk your ear off. you never minded, and he always took the hint when you didn’t want to listen.

you brought your leg up, twirling in the air with ease and watched your heel collide with midoriya’s face. he grunted, stumbling back.

you were about to charge in again when a hand landed on your shoulder, big and rough. you turned to see bakugou standing behind you, a scowl on his face.

“fight me again,” he demanded.

“excuse me?”

“don’t act like you didn’t hear me.”

“i’m in the middle of fighting midoriya right now.”

“so?”

“so if you think that i’m just going to ditch my friend because you want to fight, i won’t.”

“you’re being stubborn.”

“i’m being reasonable. back off.”

“y/n?” midoriya rubbed his jaw—right where you had struck him. “what’s going on?” he jogged up to you and bakugou.

“he wants to fight me in the middle of our fight. it’s nothing serious. don’t worry about it, midoriya. let’s just ignore him.”

bakugou made a sound someone would only make if they were choking. “the hell did you just say?”

“we’re ignoring you!” you waved him off and placed your hand on midoriya’s shoulder, wandering away.

it was new to him, not getting what he wanted. and what he wanted right now was to be around you. again, it wasn’t like he would ever admit that to himself.

“dude? you good? i thought you went off to fight y/n. i was so ready to cheer you on, dude,” kirishima’s chipper voice piped in. “she’s not fighting with you? why not?”

“the dumbass was just probably scared of getting her ass beat by me.”

“dude...that sounds really weird.”

“whatever, shitty hair. let’s go.”

the clock ticked. his ears were on fire. again.

gosh, it was happening again. it was all you. his face scrunched up, his voice would surely crack if someone were to ask him what was wrong.

bakugou was once again stuffing his face in his pillow, hiding his expression from no one. why did you have to go train with that shitty nerd? why were you always around deku? deku, of all people. what did he have? why was he so great?

bakugou was a man of many insecurities, but losing to deku? that was possibly his biggest fear.

perhaps he wasn’t the nicest, or the most soft person out there. bakugou could admit that, at least. but he was smarter than deku. he was stronger and he was better and people liked him more. right?

what was so...amazing about deku?

it was often bakugou would find himself obsessing over little, insignificant things such as these.

you were what he was thinking of most of the time. just yesterday, he’d gotten a test returned. he was expecting an eighty at the lowest, but more so expecting a high ninety. it’d come back exactly sixty percent.

sixty. percent.

bakugou vividly remembered staring at your face. he also remembered not being able to focus because of it. his grades were dropping because of you.

you were the only person to be able to do this to him.

his heart grew quiet, but the pounding of his didn’t cease. he lifted his head.

“alright, fine,” he said aloud. “you win, y/n. you win.”

he settled with getting over his feelings the way he’d read them in his collection of romance manga.

bakugou left his room and knocked on your door. (he was banging on it, but it was his nice way of knocking.)

you answered, looking around awkwardly. “yes?”

his hands shook. how was this supposed to go? sure, he’d seen it in romance movies and read it in books but it was always easy to tell whether the guy would get the girl or not.

in this instance, bakugou was clueless. for once in his life, he was clueless. you stood, tapping your foot with a hand on your hip, waiting expectantly for him to tell you why he was here.

“um.” he scratched behind his neck. “you uh- i uh...i’m sorry i called you a, um...a shitface.”

“okay? is that it?”

what? come on! it was already unlike him to apologize. what else did you want from him?

“did you...i’ve been thinking, maybe? maybe we could..train together as...friends?”

“...what?”

gosh dammit, as friends?

“whatever, um...the uh...” oh gosh, what did the boys do in all the books he’d read? right! bakugou stretched out his arm, resting his forearm on the door, leaning to the side.

although he didn’t, really, because like the clumsy jackass he was, bakugou missed completely and nearly toppled to the floor.

this earned a snicker from you.

his stomach flipped and churned, and bakugou found himself unable to reach your eyes. “uh, would you maybe..? okay, um. do you want to go on a date with me? you absolute fucking dumbass.”

your eyes flew wide. “...what?”

“no, that’s not what i— i mean i didn’t mean the last part. um, i meant the first part. the first two parts. the part where i was asking you if you wanted to go on a date with me and then before that when i said maybe because it’s still a maybe until you say yes. or...or no because that’s an option too.”

he swallowed.

you resisted the urge to mock him, just a little bit. “um, bakugou, listen.”

he leaned closer. “yes?”

“it’s going to be a no. i’m sorry, but i’m just not interested in you like that.”

it took him a moment to register everything. his shoulders sagged. gosh that was brutal.

“oh, alright.”

“yeah, uh, sorry about that.” you offered him a weak smile, still a bit shocked yourself. he did his best to return it, and when you closed the door, his face was ready to explode.

it was so damn difficult to deal with these feelings, but maybe it was better this way. knowing where you stood on your end, he knew he wouldn’t miss out on anything.

perhaps it was alright to admire from afar. things could happen in the future, right?

right now, he’d just wait. for a long, long time. bakugou pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. maybe it was alright to not have you right now. perhaps he could better himself for you. just for you.

333 notes · View notes

dodo-begone · 4 years ago

Text

Ugly Fuckling

Pairing: Yandere!Xisuma x Reader

Request: mmm for requests: some soft yandere shit with any character, maybe??

Word count: 3.9K

Warning: yandere, cursing, depression (?), Anxiety (?), angst (to comfort), dissociation

Part 2 for this is Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

If this EVER looks funky/glitched (which it def is now) I have this up properly on Ao3.

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The shopping district made you uneasy. Life just seemed to course through the area. Even without anyone actually being there to give it the energy. It was cramped though; everything was practically on top of each other. Yet it gave such a homey feeling. Like everybody who made the buildings actually liked each other; they all were a representation of how everyone was different but still similar to a family. Standing in front of all of the shops made you feel intimidated. Small, insignificant, inadequate.

You start your journey through the district, looking and giving every build the attention it deserved. It was all in an attempt to imbed everything into your memory. After all, you wouldn’t be around for much longer. Someone like you, who was so alien to the server, shouldn’t just try and worm their way into such an amazing community like this. Especially when they have nothing to offer for said community.

You hadn’t realized where you were walking until you stood in front of Grian’s barge. It was so gorgeous and well made. Grian told you how it began as a small little boat build and progressively grew to the giant floating market it is today. The story was awe inspiring; like an ugly duckling, it grew into something majestic after starting at such humble beginnings. Yet it did little to lift your spirits now. Yeah the barge started as a simple build, but it was still beautiful in its tiny state. And Grian had the talent and skill to make ginormous and intricate builds. You had neither of those abilities.

Slowly you made your way closer to the barge. At the entrance there were numerous posters all bunched together on a post. All for the mayoral campaign. They were so cute, each having a unique look. Representing their mayors very well. But Scar’s. Oh Scar’s was just elite. It was a plain wooden sign; a small but even more unique technique when compared to the others. Nothing beat some good ole fashioned petitioning. You let out a small giggle at the sight of Scar’s sign next to the others. It seemed very out of place. Seemed like a solid representation of you with the hermits. And at the same time it reminded you so much of the Dream smp.

The Dream smp… your old home. Calling the dream smp home feels wrong; you barely felt safe there, but you knew that you were wanted there. Even if just a few actually cared about you, loved you. You fit in so much better there. Your horrendous builds could easily blend in with the others or better yet, stand out amongst the surrounding disasters to look semi-decent. Yes there were actual beautiful builds, just like any other server, but they were few and far between. Those builds were under constant threat of being griefed or destroyed, just like all of the others. Yet everybody seemed mostly okay with it. They would be upset when it would be destroyed, like any normal person would. But they only had two options when presented with the rubble; pick up the fragments and rebuild from the ground up or forever abandon what was once a masterpiece.

With the hermits, there was order there. The chaos was controlled, which was an odd concept to you. Chaos on the Dream smp ran rampant, destroying anything in its path. And there even seemed to be a “type” of person that was deemed a “hermit”. Thought it was hard to pick out something that everybody had in common. But you knew one thing; you didn’t fit the description of a hermit.

On the Dream smp, everything was always on the brink of destruction and very tense. Things could change on the flip of a dime. Nothing was guaranteed. And yet you still wanted to go back there. To feel wanted, important, enough, to be validated. To be so much more than you were with the hermits. With the hermits, you were only an imposter; everything they said to or about you was a lie. Had to be a lie. Why else would you be like this super kinda and incredible person? The person they were describing wasn't even you. It was a whole different person, how could they not see that?!

Leaning against the outerwall of the barge, you slowly slide to the ground. You start a panoramic view from your new position. It only made you feel worse; you felt detached from your body. Like you were watching a movie of you and your life from an outsider’s view. But you had control of your body and could still kinda see through your eyes, which made it feel even weirder. So more like you were walking through a movie that you weren’t made for; a real person wandering the domain of a cartoon show.

A shaky breath breaks it way through your lips. Trails of tears soon start to trickle down your face, slightly obscuring the view you had. Suddenly the world becomes too big yet too small. Much duller, less important. Everything became too much yet not enough all at the same time. Soon the feeling overwhelmed you so much that you broke down into a sobbing mess. The wanted to hide your face in your hands and knees hung over you like a tsunami wave, but you knew you shouldn’t. These were your last moments and views of the hermitcraft server. Even if you couldn’t see clearly anymore. Any view was better than no view. You tried to muffle your cries; do anything to stay silent and unseen. Nobody really wanted to deal with a crying person. They just felt obligated to.

God you were such a burden on all of the hermits. You could barely support yourself with your shitty little farm. Barely any food was produced. And the hermits kept giving you stuff: ores, food, weapons, armour, just about anything you could think of. Golden carrots, golden apples, elytras, diamonds and netherite were the gifts that made you feel the worst. These were such wonderful, valuable, and useful items. Nobody would give them out for free, even to a friend. Especially as often as they did.

So you’d set out on a journey to figure out who’d gifted you stuff and return it immediately. First you just left them in a chest with a book or sign explaining that you didn’t want to accept their gift. It felt wrong that they were giving them such nice stuff. They’d always bring it back to you though. It burned your heart. Both from how sweet the gesture was and the physical pain you felt taking it from them. After a few cycles of this, people started to stop telling you who gave you that new item of yours. Even when you begged them for answers.

You had to turn to more drastic measures. Every gift you got was soon carefully investigated for any sign of who could’ve given it to you. There wasn't a way to easily get an answer from the other hermits. They had gotten suspicious of your past tactics, so you had to change your approach.

So you went with the closest guess. Even if they weren’t the one to give it to you, you’d give it to them. When the “gifter” left their base, you’d swiftly sneak in and start to put the items back in their storage. Many of them had chest monsters, so it was easier to put the items in their chests. After all, they wouldn’t really notice more items in the giant mess of items they already had. Then there were the ones with organized sorting systems. You’d search for their proper homes and place them in there. Since these people usually had big storage facilities, it wouldn't be hard to hide a few other items in there. What were the odds that they’d notice that they had a little more of an item than they last remember?

Aw who were you kidding, they’d obviously notice a whole inventory’s worth of golden carrots in their chests. But you deluded yourself into believing that your attempts worked. Believing a beautiful life was much easier and felt better than facing the less-than enjoyable truth.

When you finally calmed down enough, you went over your mental plan again. It had to be absolutely perfect. With no flaws or kinks. This couldn’t fail. Every attempt before had ended in fucking failure. You’d look so bad to the hermits if you failed in leaving again. Why did you still care about what they thought of you? That’s such a silly thing to still care about.

Each plan before had one step that’d always thwarted your leave; you always said goodbye to somebody. At first it started with a big group of hermits, but with each attempt the group got smaller and smaller.

When you’d go to say your goodbyes, the hermit you were talking to would get upset. They’d begged you to stay. Or they’d ask you to help them on this one last project. And then another hermit would ask, and then another. Until you were helping a hermit as soon as you finished a project. You were almost never alone for a while. Slowly the thought of leaving would be pushed further and further back into your mind. Until it was practically gone; only echoes of it would remain to haunt you at night. This was a continuous cycle, and you wanted it to end.

This time you weren’t going to get stopped. Having fewer people in the plan makes it easier to leave. That meant nobody was going to get an in-person goodbye. Everybody had an individual letter addressed to them from you and one for the entire server. It was better this way. They wouldn’t have the chance to stop you.

You don’t know how much time passed, nor did you really care. God you wanted to stay here so bad, yet you couldn’t. This wasn’t where you belonged. You weren’t meant to be here.

With a heavy sign, you hauled yourself off the ground and made your way to the edge of the server. Every moment was precious now, so you decided to dawdle as much as you could. Nobody was going to stop you, so you had time. After all, nobody was going to be finding the letters anytime soon.

To savor every last second on the server, you traversed by boat and foot. Yes you’d miss the elytras, but you wanted to travel the old fashioned way. The way you were used to doing it. Elytras weren’t on the Dream smp, so you needed to start getting used to not having them again.

It felt like seconds before you were at the edge. A few blinks and bam! You were at your final destination on the Hermitcraft server. It was now or never. All you had to do was take a few steps over and you would be back on the Dream smp. Yet your feet refused to move. Why weren’t they moving? This was for the greater good. Yes you wouldn’t be happy there immediately, but you’d grow used to it again.

You started to take deep breaths, trying to hype yourself up to take the final steps. It was like three steps, come on. You can do it. The trip here was longer and harder than this. Don’t let something this small ruins all the work you’ve done. God it was like you were like a walking failure. You couldn’t even finish something you started, something you wanted done. A small part of you whispered, begged you to say with the hermits. But it was soon covered by a much louder part of the mind, telling you that this was the best thing you could do for everyone. Come on, they wouldn’t miss you at all. With one final breath, you took a step forward.

“What’re you doing?” a voice seemed to yell. God it was so quiet. Why was it so quiet? Literally any noise was too loud now.

You stopped. Oh no, did you take too long getting here? Man you really should’ve used that elytra instead. Would’ve made this trip so much easier and faster.

Slowly you turn around to see who interrupted you. And low and behold, it’s Xisuma. He was a little ways away from you, which you were thankful for. It was surprising to see him so far away from the server though. Did he find the notes. Shit, fuck, no no no-. You really hope he hadn’t found them.

“I’m just looking around” a nervous shell of your voice answers. It sounded so empty, like the wind could easily blow it away with just a single gentle gust. You desperately look over where Xisuma’s face would be in hopes of finding out what he was feeling or thinking. That mask of his blocked it, so it was futile. But you had to know what he thought about you now. Was he disappointed? Did he hate you? Especially for how you tried to leave?

“This far out,” he spreads his arms out, gesturing to the world around y’all. It was practically deserted. There was only an island, and you two were standing on it. Ocean covered the world to the horizon. Logically you knew you had no reason to be out here other than to leave. You knew Xisuma knew as well. He had to. He was the admin, after all.

“Uh,” you frantically look around, hoping to find anything to help you get out of this tense situation. You hated this. Hated confrontation. This was a reason you left the Dream smp. “Yeah I wanted a good sight for the uh- for the sunset. Yes, the sunset! It’s so pretty when you’re so far from the mainland. Away from all the buildings that could obstruct the view.”

It took a second for your words to finally hit you, and when they did it felt like a slap to the face. “I’m not saying the builds are bad,” you desperately backpedal, trying to change the possible interpretation of your words. “I mean they’re very big. Big and pretty! Yes, very pretty! But they block the skyline so easily and the sunset and sunrise are just hidden by them. And sometimes the light pollution really gets in the way of stargazing- I’m rambling aren’t I? I’m sorry.”

You stared at Xisuma, wishing for him to give you any sign as to what he was thinking. But the black visor thwarted you attempts again; his face was unviewable with his helmet on.

Wait how could you have been so self absorbed to not notice what Xisuma is wearing. He adorned a little bee/wasp (you had a hard time telling the difference at the moment) themed outfit. It was like a whole bodysuit. And he had a little bee/wasp helmet too! Oh my gosh it was the little bee outfit he owned! The one you really liked! He was actually wearing it? The outfit you said looked really good on him? No, wait. He might just like it as well. That’s probably why he’s wearing it. Stupid, remember you’re not special. Especially to anyone. Why can’t you get that through your thick brain?

Xisuma must have seen the emotional trip you just went on. It must’ve been obvious, right? Written all over your face?

“You’re not wrong,” Xisuma starts. “The builds can be rather disruptive of a good view of the sunset or sunrise. But if you wanted a good viewing spot, you could’ve just asked me. I wouldn’t have minded showing you one.”

“That would’ve been such a stupid thing to ask,” you sniffle, barely having the strength to look him in the eyes. Well, where his eyes should be. “Going up to an admin and saying ‘I can’t see the sunrise or sunset well. Can you show me a good viewing spot’ isn’t exactly something you ask an admin. Usually it’s something along the lines of ‘hey this player took my stuff’ or ‘I’m stuck in a hole and need help.’”

Silence smothers the two of you. Your words were heavy. Made your mouth dry too. Wow is it hot out or just you? It’s really fucking hot out here.

“Again,” Xisuma breaks the silence,” I wouldn’t have minded at all. I’m here for you. For the hermits. And I’m here to help. Why do you think my help wouldn’t extend to you?”

You ponder over his question. Now that he states it like that, how can you just make up a stupid excuse? The care he showed in his explanation made you feel warm and fuzzy. Even if it wasn’t a lot. It made you feel special. Just for that moment. He doesn’t deserve a sucky lie. He deserved the truth. You owed it to him. Then you’ll stop being a bother to him and leave. Right… leave.

“Because I’m not a hermit, Xisuma,” you murmur, hugging yourself for comfort. “I don’t think I ever was. Or ever will be, for that matter.”

“And why not,” Xisuma prods, taking a step towards you. “You are a hermit. You’re on the hermit server and you have been for quite a while now. Everyone loves you. They love you so much. I love you so much.”

That question hurts you. It hurts you so much and yet you have no reason for it to hurt you this much. The statement was false and you knew it. So it shouldn’t hold this much power over you. He’s wrong and you know it. But how do you break it to him?

Yeah, break the news to him. The only thing breaking is you. Xisuma’s mask, which you had once adored, scared you. Intimidated you and made you feel inadequate. The more you looked, the worse you felt.

And so you give in. “Because I’m not one of you. I’d never be one of you. No matter what I did, it’d never amount to what everyone else can do! Grian can make magnificent builds, Scar can landscape like a god, and Mumbo can make literally anything and everything out of redstone. Everybody has something that they’re good at, something they specialize in. And me,” your voice cracks. You drop to the ground on your knees, curling into yourself. “I can’t do anything. I can’t build, can’t farm and I can’t even do simple redstone. I’m a literal dunce. I’ll never be able to do anything right. I’ll never be enough, especially on a server like this with so many incredible people like you. And everyone is so nice. I don’t deserve this kindness. I’m a horrible person. And-and I just don’t belong here. It’d be better if a burden like me is gone, out of your hair. It’d be better if I went back to the Dream smp. Where I can’t be a burden to anybody here.” You finally break down. Sobs shook your body and any words that came out after that were unintelligible.

Suddenly there’s a presence near you, giving you a hug. You flinch, but know it’s Xisuma. Who else could it be? He was the only one here with you. He lets go of you slowly, but you quickly latch onto him and hide in the crook of his neck. You really wanted some comfort. You wanted Xisuma’s hugs. You didn’t want to be left alone.

He goes back to gently holding you, quietly telling you that everything was going to be okay. And other things. Everything just went in one ear and out the other. But he’s giving you soft and steady backrubs. You snuggle closer to him. God this was like a whole comfort package! It just made you want to cry harder. And he just stays there! Letting you cry on him. He’s so nice to little ole you.

Soon you tuckered yourself out from crying. You’re so tired, but you’re still crying. Sadness just courses through you. But you’re so tired. Slowly your sobs turn to sniffle and you try to bring him even closer to you.

“Feel any better,” he tries his best to look at you after your sniffles are all that’re coming out of you. It’s really hard to look at someone so close to you.

You nod against him, too tired to answer verbally. Plus your voice probably sounds terrible and wouldn’t be able to handle answering anyways.

He picks you up, holding you close to him and walks away from the border. You’re so thankful that Xisuma is carrying you. It makes you feel so loved. And your body was so weak after your breakdown.

Soon you two are on a boat, heading back to the rest of the hermits. He’s rowing y’all home. You cuddle into him, wanting as much physical contact as you can get. You’re so tired, but you don’t want to sleep just yet. But you still doze off anyways. As you do though, Xisuma starts to talk to you.

“Thank you for staying with us. With me. I really appreciate that. I love you, remember that. I’ll tell you that a million times if I have to. I’d tell you daily, hourly. Whatever you want. Just don’t leave, please. I love you so much. It’d hurt if you left. If I lost you. But it also hurts to see you in so much pain. Oh I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you sooner. I should've seen the signs. But I’m here. I’ll help you. I love you so much. I’ll stay with you as long as you’re with me. I’d follow you to the end and back.”

You can’t exactly hear what he’s saying, but it must be really nice. The tone of it is so comforting. Wait hold up. Weren’t you doing something. Struggling to stay awake, you mind scrambles for an answer. The border. Yes, the border! You were there. But for what? You couldn’t remember anymore. But was it important if you forgot? Oh who cares, you got Xisuma with you! You were home! That’s all that mattered.

As you finally start to drift off, you mutter an ‘i love you’ to him, finally falling into a well deserved slumber.

#tw: yandere #dodo writing #mcyt x reader #tw: cursing #tw: depression #tw: anxiety #tw: dissociation #tw: angst #hermitcraft x reader #xisuma x reader #yandere #yandere xisuma #c: xisuma #hermitship

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magic-and-moonlit-wings · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 55: Movie Night

Lots of quotes from the movie Lilo & Stitch ahead! Fewer quotes, but some, from Trolls and Frozen.

Bold italics are trollish, ~tildes~ indicate goblin.

Content warnings for this chapter: Swearing. Here we reach the story's first F-bomb.

Also, there is some talk between characters about the harshness of life in the Darklands, how Changelings are treated by the Gumm-Gumms, and mentions of cannibalism.

This was supposed to be a light-happy chapter that got feels-y at the end, but then it went and got all dark on me.

Oh, also-also, (Not) Enrique finds out Claire flirted with Jim a while ago and misinterprets what exactly happened between them, but that gets cleared up fast.

Becoming The Mask

Once again, Javier and Ophelia Nuñez were out for the evening, leaving Claire in charge of Enrique. Claire had gotten permission to invite "some friends" over to watch movies. Jim and Toby arrived to find Mary and Darci already there – Jim suspected, like the time he'd 'babysat', that Claire had purposefully asked him to arrive after she knew her parents would be gone.

They set up piles of cushions and blankets on the floor between the couch and the TV. Jim propped the Amulet up on the coffee table they'd pushed to one side. Maybe some of the ghost Trollhunters would be interested in human movies.

"Finally get your fill of the touchy-feelies?" Enrique teased Jim, seeing how they were all seated separately. Jim snorted.

"Not hardly." He pulled the smaller Changeling in for a hug. "Humans just have different rules about casual touching, is all. Freezing to death's not really a concern in this climate."

"Wait, what?" said Toby, dropping the pillow he'd been holding. Jim looked up to see all the humans staring at him.

"Darklands thing," said Enrique easily. "Gets cold there."

"We'd sleep in piles," Jim explained. "I had a bit of a reputation for being … clingy."

"If you weren't good at finding food and soft stuff, we'd never've put up with ya." Enrique proved himself a liar by climbing onto Jim's shoulders instead of jumping back to the floor. He fluffed the hair on Jim's scalp. "Jimmy-boy got his first nickname for that."

"Shut up," said Jim playfully. "Anyway, humans get weird about touching around puberty. I can still hug Mom whenever I want, but Toby gets embarrassed if I hug him around other people, and Claire, Mary, and Darci haven't given me permission to touch them casually yet."

"… Did you … want permission?" asked Claire. "You, kinda, said you were uncomfortable with that, I thought."

"No, it was more wondering if you were flirting with me that felt weird," Jim assured her. "After that conversation I felt like it'd be awkward to bring up that I was open to hugging and such."

Jim thought he felt Enrique growl, to quietly to properly hear. His hand, still in Jim's hair, changed position so the tips of Enrique's claws were on Jim's scalp.

"When exactly did this happen?" Enrique asked.

"Claire kissed Jim on the cheek on his birthday and then Jim said he wasn't interested in dating her," said Mary.

"Also that I realized she might not have meant it in a flirty way and if I was misinterpreting things she could ignore what I was saying," Jim added. The claws retreated.

Claire looked away. "So what movie did we want to start with?"

"Lilo & Stitch!" exclaimed Darci, looking through the shelves. "I haven't watched this in forever!"

"That's a good one." Jim tilted his head to get Enrique back in his peripheral vision. "Enrique, have you seen it yet?"

"… Yeah."

"Isn't that the one that always makes you cry?" asked Toby.

"It's beautiful. Of course I cry."

Stitch was a constructed 'abomination', who shapeshifted to blend in, and his adopted family found out what he truly was and still wanted him. How could Jim be expected to keep his composure in the face of that?

"So, quick question," said Jim. "Is talking during the movie a crime, or is commentary what makes it a group activity?"

"Commentary," said all three girls together.

"Okay, good." Jim and Toby usually talked during movies, unless one or both of them were seeing it for the first time. Sometimes even then.

+=+

"Not guilty! My experiments are only theoretical, and completely within legal boundaries."

"We believe you actually created something."

"Created something? Ha! But that would be irresponsible, and, unethical. I would never, ever – make more than one."

"What is that monstrosity?"

"Monstrosity?! What you see before you is the first of a new species!"

"You have to wonder if she and Merlin ever had a talk like this," Enrique muttered in Jim's ear. Jim snickered.

"And as for that abomination … it is the flawed product of a deranged mind. It has no place among us."

Jim stopped laughing and cringed. He loved this movie a lot, but some of it stung.

+=+

"A quiet capture would require an understanding of 626 that we do not possess! Who, then, Mr Pleakley, would you send for his extraction?"

"… Does he have a brother? Close grandmother, perhaps?"

"Fun fact," said Darci, "in early drafts Stitch was a career criminal and Jumba was an old accomplice."

"Friendly cousin? Neighbour with a beard?"

+=+

"Surely the teacher won't notice I was late if he doesn't see me come in!" Claire narrated sarcastically.

+=+

"I'm sorry, Scrump!" Mary wailed, as Lilo ran back to retrieve the doll she'd angrily thrown aside.

+=+

"Let me illuminate to you the precarious situation in which you have found yourself. I am the one they call when things go wrong. And things have indeed gone wrong."

"As a cook, that kitchen horrifies me," said Jim.

+=+

"If you promise not to fight anymore, I promise not to yell at you – except on special occasions."

"Tuesdays and bank holidays would be good."

The entire group cracked up.

"How does kid Lilo's age even know what a bank holiday is?" said Claire. "I don't even know what a bank holiday is!"

"Maybe she saw it printed on a calendar?" said Toby.

+=+

A raindrop fell on Stitch's head. He fired his ray gun into the sky. It started raining, hard.

"Oh, no, I broke the sky!" Darci cried.

+=+

"Does it have to be this dog?"

"He survived getting hit by a truck, how much more sturdy and not-gonna-die do you want?" asked Jim.

"Yes. He's good. I can tell."

+=+

"I'm sorry I bit you. And pulled your hair. And punched you in the face."

Mary nudged Claire. "Remind you of anyone?"

Like sunflowers, everyone else popped up and turned towards them.

Claire blushed. "We got into a fight in first grade and for like two days we decided we didn't want to be friends anymore, then our moms made us say sorry."

"He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe."

"It's weird they get in trouble for everything but this," commented Enrique. "Human grown ups might not believe a dog stole a trike, but wouldn't they think Lilo did it? She's fought the other kid before."

"It's nice to live on an island with no large cities."

+=+

"It's not an angel, Lilo, I don't even think it's a dog!"

"Isn't that the rolling thing Draal can do?" said Toby.

"Yeah, more or less," said Jim. "I mean, I don't think Draal bites his feet – but maybe that's the trick."

"At least with those stick legs you've got," said Enrique. He curled into a ball and rolled in a circle around the group. "Face it, you're out of proportion for this move."

+=+

"626 was designed to be a monster. But now, there is nothing to destroy. You see, I never gave him a greater purpose. What must it be like, to have nothing? Not even memories to visit, in the middle of the night?"

"Now, this next bit I don't care for," said Jim. "The Ugly Duckling is a messed-up story."

"What've you got against The Ugly Duckling?" asked Mary.

"The blatant segregationist propaganda? 'A swan will never fit in with ducks and everyone is better off sticking with their own kind'. You don't even have to read it as a race metaphor. Between that and The Little Mermaid, I thought for while that Hans Christian Anderson was a Changeling writing cautionary tales about why we shouldn't get attached to humans."

"… Was he?" asked Claire.

"Probably not. I couldn't find any real evidence and the rest of his work doesn't match the pattern."

"Counterpoint," said Darci. "The Ugly Duckling is pro-integration. Everyone thought he was an ugly duckling because they didn't know what swans look like. If he'd grown up with ducks and swans around, they could've judged him for what he was instead of what he couldn't measure up to, and he might've had a happy childhood instead of only finding a community that accepted him as an adult."

Jim considered this, and nodded. "I guess I can see that, too."

+=+

"Heard you lost your job."

"Well, uh, actually, I just quit. That job. Because, you know, the hours are just not conducive to the challenges of raising a child –"

"Nani, no!" Jim begged. "I know almost nothing about Social Services but I'm pretty sure choosing to leave your only source of income looks worse to them than just losing it!"

"Thus far you have been adrift in the sheltered harbour of my patience; but I cannot ignore you being jobless. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly."

"And next time I see this dog, I expect it to be a model citizen. Capiche?"

"Uh … yes?"

"New job. Model citizen. Good day."

+=+

"So, we saw Cobra on the beach after all the tourists got scared off … D'you think he was just standing there watching them the whole time?" Mary wondered out loud after the surfing sequence.

+=+

"Until we meet again …"

Lilo was about to tell Stitch about her parents. Without thinking, Jim grabbed the remote – on the coffee table, next to the amulet – to fast forward.

"What are you doing?" Darci cried. "This is one of the big emotional turning points of the film!"

Jim paused it. "Sorry. Uh … Tobes and I usually skip this scene."

"I think I can handle it," Toby assured Jim. To the girls and Enrique, he explained, "My parents died in a storm when I was two. A cruise ship, not a car accident. I got kind of upset the first time we watched this as kids, and, we got in the habit fast forwarding this part. I think I'm okay with it now."

"You're sure?" asked Jim.

"I'm sure."

"Okay …" He rewound to the point where he'd started fast forwarding.

"That's us before. It was rainy, and they went for a drive. What happened to yours?"

Jim watched Toby more than the movie for the next few minutes.

"I'll remember you, though. I remember everyone that leaves."

"Do you remember them?" Claire asked quietly.

"Only the stuff Nana tells me." Toby shrugged, and readjusted the cushions he'd propped up his arms on. "I've seen lots of pictures. A couple home movies."

+=+

"Don't run. Don't make me shoot you. You were expensive. Yes, yes, that's it, come quietly."

"I'm … waiting."

"For what?"

"Family."

"Ah. You don't have one. I made you."

"Maybe … I could –"

"You were built to destroy. You can never belong."

Jim blinked fast to keep the tears back. He sniffed, and pulled the blankets more tightly around him.

+=+

"Okay, talk! I know you had something to do with this, now where's Lilo? Talk! I know you can."

"Claire?" said Mary. "You okay?"

Jim looked over. Claire's jaw was clenched, and her hands were tight on the blanket, and her eyes were huge and fixed on the screen, and she was shaking.

"Ah … maybe the little sib getting snatched by otherworldly forces wasn't the best movie choice," Enrique said. He reached out like he was about to go to Claire, then pulled back his hand and hunkered down where he was.

"LILO! She's a little girl this big, she has black hair and brown eyes, and she hangs around with that THING!"

"I'm. Fine," Claire insisted.

"You're sure?"

"We can just fast forward."

"I said I'm fine!"

"Okay …"

Mary and Darci each scooted their blanket and cushion piles closer to Claire's, bracketing her on either side. Jim tactfully retreated to the Nuñezes kitchen to microwave a few more bags of popcorn. Enrique went with him. They could still hear the TV.

"What? After all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? Just like that?!"

"Ih."

"Fine."

"Fine? You're doing what he says?"

"Ah, he is very persuasive."

"Is it normal to feel bad for her?" Enrique asked.

"I think so? It's an awkward situation for both of you." Jim selected the white cheddar flavour. "But it's not like there's an alternative. You're not a polymorph. And really, the only reason she's upset is because she found out."

The Nuñezes had the same microwave as the Lakes. Jim didn't find the popcorn setting especially useful for this brand of popcorn – it tended to burn a third of the kernels– so he used the timer instead.

"I never apologized to you for that, did I?" Jim asked.

"It wasn't all your fault."

"Still, I'm sorry for my part in getting you caught."

The Changelings got back to the living room in time to see the unfortunate tourist lose his ice cream for the third time.

+=+

"Does Stitch have to go in the ship?"

"Yes."

"Can Stitch say goodbye?"

"… Yes."

Like he always did during this scene, Jim cried. He let himself do it this time.

+=+

"Wait, how is Little Mermaid a cautionary tale?" asked Enrique during the credits. The camera panned over a photo of Stitch reading to a flock of ducklings. "For getting attached, I mean. I thought the moral of that one was to control yer temper and be careful who you made deals with?"

"Sure, the Disney version," said Jim. "They adapted it to make a more dramatic, less depressing story. And give the characters names. In the older version, the sea witch is actually a neutral character. The terms of the mermaid's transformation are that she's traded her tongue for legs, but walking on land hurts, and she'll become fully human if the prince marries her, but if he marries anybody else, she'll die."

"That doesn't sound neutral."

"Wait for it. The prince gets engaged to a human princess, so the mermaid's older sisters trade their hair to the sea witch for a magic knife and a loophole; if the little mermaid kills the prince before the wedding, she can turn back into a mermaid and survive."

"Kay, I see it now."

"Except she doesn't go through with the kill, so she dies, and because she wasn't really human, she doesn't have a proper soul, so her spirit's not allowed to go to Heaven."

"… Whoa."

"I know, right?"

"I mean," Mary commented, "not murdering somebody is kind of a low bar for moral decency. It's not as if the prince owed her anything just because she was attracted to him."

"No, no, whether the prince deserved to die or not is irrelevant," said Jim. "The point is that the mermaid had a chance to, objectively, trade one life for another, and because she was attached to the particular person she'd have to kill, she didn't prioritize her own survival, and therefore suffered."

"Wouldn't the guilt of murder have caused suffering anyway?" Toby pointed out.

"Not if she wasn't attached," Jim insisted. How were they not getting this? "If she could've just cut the throat of any random human, she'd've been fine. The moral of the story is that caring about people causes pain. That's what makes it depressing."

"Do you like any fairy tales?" asked Darci.

"Sure. Just not most of Anderson's work."

"What should we watch next?" said Claire hospitably. "If we're on a 'sister movies' theme, I've got Frozen."

"Isn't that one also based on an Anderson fairy tale?" said Mary.

"Not really," said Jim. "The Snow Queen was more 'inspiration' than 'source material'. Elsa never kidnaps anyone, and they left out the broken enchanted mirror. Plus it's fun to see all the different ways humans think trolls are like."

"We also have the Trolls movie," said Claire. "I haven't watched it yet. My dad got it for Mom's birthday because she used to collect the dolls."

"I haven't seen that one yet, either," Darci commented.

"Should we?" said Mary. "Any other votes?"

"I'm game for whatever," said Toby. "This one's a musical, right? Those are always fun."

Jim squirmed.

He hadn't watched this movie despite his curiosity, after an online clip of the opening had explained the premise. Getting eaten alive was his greatest fear. Did he want to watch a movie about trolls narrowly avoiding being eaten? Did he want to explain why he didn't want to watch it?

While he debated, the movie got put in.

"Once upon a time, in a happy forest, in the happiest tree, lived the happiest creatures the world has ever known: the trolls. They loved nothing more than to sing, and dance, and hug, and dance and hug and sing and dance and sing and hug –"

Enrique started laughing.

Oh, shit, Jim hadn't warned him.

"Uh, Enrique –"

"Ssh! This is ridiculous. I mean, the huggy bit's kind of like you, but the rest of it – ha!"

"But then one day, the trolls were discovered by – a Bergen!"

"The trolls are gonna –"

"Ji-im! Spoilers!" Toby hissed.

"They were the most miserable creatures in all the land."

Jim grabbed Enrique and covered his eyes. The smaller Changeling yelped and squirmed. Jim switched forms so his fingers wouldn't bleed from the clawing.

Enrique got his eyes uncovered just in time to see the Bergen flick a troll into its mouth.

The onscreen troll's exclamation of "Oh my god!" was drowned out by Enrique's much more lurid cursing.

"What the –?" The girls and Toby all turned to stare. Claire pointed at Enrique accusingly. "I knew that didn't mean 'I'm sorry'!"

"The hell kinda movie is this?! Why would you watch this?!" He twisted to look at Jim, who let go of him rather than risk yanking his scruff by accident. "You knew?!"

"I saw a bit of it on the internet when it first came out. That's why I froze up when Claire suggested it."

That … that was the wrong thing to say. Enrique rounded on Claire. A techno-rock cover of In The Hall Of The Mountain King boomed from the movie soundtrack.

"Why in FUCK'S NAME would you think we'd WANT to watch trolls get EATEN? Is this some kind of threat?"

"How the fuck would it be a threat?" Claire shot back, stealing some cushions from Mary to prop herself up taller without getting out of her blanket cocoon.

"Most Changelings –" Jim started to say.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE ALMOST BEEN EATEN?" Enrique roared. "I DON'T! CAUSE IT'S A LOT!"

"We've all had close calls," Jim finished. "Nyarlagroths, Hellheetis, goblins if you catch them in the wrong mood, Gruesomes if you're already hurt, Stalklings, and it's a … popular threat from Gumm-Gumms."

"You forgot the sloorbeasts," said Enrique bitterly.

"Nobody's gotten lichen patches that bad." At least, they hadn't when Jim got out. "Have they?"

"Still counts."

"Uh, excuse me." Toby raised his hand. "I think I speak for us all when I say, what?"

"The Darklands are a hostile environment with predators and scavengers," explained Jim. "That's the other reason we slept in groups."

"Bigger targets, but we could have lookouts."

"Okay, that's its own kind of horrifying, but I was more reacting to the cannibalism?"

"Changelings don't count as real trolls," Enrique said sarcastically. "We're Impure."

He left out the part where they'd eaten their own dead. Jim didn't add it.

(It wasn't like they'd hunted each other for food. Sometimes a Changeling just died, somehow, in a way that didn't get them eaten by something else, and … well, food was scarce in the Darklands. They couldn't afford to be picky.

It also paid to keep watch over the sentry posts. Gunmar occasionally used the Decimaar Blade to post a sentry and then forgot to order them to rest and eat. Once they died, the average adult Gumm-Gumm was a meal for twenty Changelings, easily, if they could get to the body before the Gruesomes did.)

"Okay, we're switching to Frozen." Mary made the executive decision. "Wait," she said, while exchanging the disks. "If Changelings aren't trolls, how does Jim's adoption work?"

Because of course this was the perfect moment to tell Enrique about that, right in the middle of a squabble with his adopted sister.

"For one thing, most of Trollmarket still thinks I'm human." Jim switched back to human shape to illustrate the point.

"You got adopted?"

"AAARRRGGHH and Blinky thought I should have legal standing in Trollmarket outside of my job."

Enrique stared at him. Green diamond-shaped ears were pinned back. Buggy, slit-pupil eyes were wide and hurt.

"You get everything," he grumbled. "Two nicknames, and the goblins liked you, and you could always find food, and here you're the boss's favourite even when you're a traitor, and your human family still likes you, and now you get a troll family too? S'not fair."

"Hey, the goblins liked you, too." Jim was fully aware that wasn't much comfort compared to all the rest of it. "They gave you your nickname, remember?"

"They gave you one, too."

"Yeah, but you got yours first."

They probably weren't supposed to hear Darci when she muttered, "I feel like we're missing a lot of context."

"Shit," Claire muttered back. "Not Enrique told me a bit of the name part. They don't remember their names from before they were Changelings, and they don't get real names until they have Familiars, so they use nicknames instead. From each other or from goblins, he said."

"They don't get names?" Darci's voice went squeaky at the end of that.

"We're trying to come up with something other than 'Enrique' for him."

"You're trying," Enrique corrected. Darci squeaked again.

"Can we maybe circle back to the cannibalism thing?" said Toby. "That feels like the kind of trauma that should get unpacked at some point."

"I would rather leave it packed," said Jim.

"The way you blurted it out like that feels like you need to talk about it."

"Not all psychology is Freudian, Tobes."

"Do your parents still have baby name books from when they were picking Enrique's name?" Mary asked Claire. "Real Enrique, I mean."

"They didn't use one. He was named after our abuelo."

"Okay, so what about your other grandfather? What was his name?"

"Jose María." Defensively, "It's gender neutral in Spanish."

On the television screen, the movie menu finished another loop and started again.

"I tried spelling my name like it sounds, en are ee kay, but Claire said it spelled 'Nrek'. You get why I couldn't use that."

Jim laughed.

"What's funny?" asked Toby. "Is that an insult or something?"

"No, it's goblin, in English it means 'bottle'," Jim translated. "Or possibly 'container of food'." The only bottles he's seen them use held formula for the Familiars, and the word hadn't come up on the surface, so the distinction was unclear. "It's either a silly name or a really morbid one."

"Aaand we're back to the cannibalism."

"No we are not!"

"Na na na heyana, Hahiyaha naha …"

Either somebody had decided to start the movie, or the DVD had that feature where it automatically began playing if nothing was selected after a few loops of the menu.

The conversation went in circles a couple more times, then faded out.

+=+

"And who's the funky-looking donkey over there?"

"That's Sven."

"Uh-huh; and who's the reindeer?"

"… Sven."

"Oh, they're – ? Oh! Okay! Makes things easier for me."

"~Riot~," said Enrique.

"Huh?"

"My nickname. Before. It meant 'riot'."

What are you doing? Jim wanted to demand. Was Enrique just – just giving up on a real name?

"You can call me that for now. Till we work out a for-real one. Better than 'Not Enrique'."

Jim stuffed some burnt popcorn kernels into his mouth to keep from protesting. He couldn't undermine Enrique's – Riot's – chosen name, right in front of a bunch of humans, when he'd been arguing with them about how rude that was for weeks now.

"Oh. Okay." Claire half-smiled. "Riot."

Jim shut his eyes to hide the flaring glow.

+=+

Previous Chapter (Angor Rot gets treated much better, and more sensibly, than in canon, and is correspondingly less vengeful)

Table of Contents

Next Chapter (Featuring either Otto or Gatto)

A quick thank you to Taycin on AO3 for providing some name-gender context when this chapter first went up.

23 notes · View notes

iamyoursinblog · 4 years ago

Text

Hell girl

Pairing: Mark Tuan x Reader

Genre: fluff, smut

Word Count: 5,4 k

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LIST

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"Mom, why should I do this ?!" he practically yelled into the phone. “Okay, Mom. I understood. I'll call you later." He could hardly contain his anger, not wanting to quarrel with his mother. He hung up and threw the phone on the sofa, kicking it forcefully. From anger it seemed even the air in the hall was not enough.

“This is the first time I've seen you so angry after talking with your parents.” He heard Jaebeom laugh behind him and turned to him.

“Oh, hi, Jaebeom.” He was so confused that he didn't even notice when Jaebeom came in.

"Are you okay?" Jaebeom came closer squeezing his shoulder

“Almost” he sat down on the sofa, throwing his head back

"What happened?" Jaebeom asked anxiously, sitting down next to him.

“There is one, person...” he had to make every effort to restrain himself and choose the most neutral words in the description “she is the daughter of the best friends of my parents. Every time she appeared within a radius of half mile from me, my life turned to hell. She's a devil! And so this ... decided to come to Seoul. And my mother told her friends that I would meet her at the airport and spend her entire vacation with her. For some reason my family decided that I was a personal babysitter for this mad girl !!!” he was just seething with anger.

"Babysitter? She's that so young, how old is she? " Jaebeom laughed while watching him

“She's 5-6 years younger than me,” he shook his head.

“At 5-6? Well, she's not baby anymore, she's around 22. When was the last time you saw her?"

He looked at Jaebeom in disbelief. But really, you was 22. Only now did he realize that the last time he saw you ten years ago. For him you have remained an obnoxious child who spoils his life. He remembered how you beat him, without any physical training, on your first day of martial arts training in his studio, even though he had been in for a year and was older and stronger than you. After that, all his friends laughed at him for several more months. He shook his head, what's the difference how old you were, you hardly changed. “Moreover, if she’s already an adult, then I don’t understand why I should do this at all”

"If it worries you so much, do you want me to go instead of you and meet her, what does she look like?" Jaebeom smiled, clapping his knees

“I have no idea, I only remember her when she was 12. In addition, she will complain to her parents that I personally did not meet her, my mother will kill me after” he moaned, sliding to the floor, quietly and peacefully accepting his inevitable death. He got up off the floor picking up the phone from the couch. “I'll be back soon with this crazy girl, better hide the sharp objects just in case,” he said, heading out the door as Jaebeom bursts into laughter on the sofa.

... ... ...

He was leaning on the railing near the arrival gate. He raised his collar high and lowered the hat almost over his eyes, hoping that no one would recognize him. He looked at the time, your plane has already landed. “How long can she collect her luggage? Did she bring the whole house with her?" He doesn't stop muttering to himself as people keep walking past him. One girl caught his attention, a beauty in skinny jeans and a red jacket over a cropped top. Wow, he seems to fall in love from first sight, he chuckled above himself, unable to take his eyes off her. She walked in his direction, did she really recognize him, he hoped he would be able to persuade this girl not to post a photo in SNS at least until evening. Although he was glad that such a beauty immediately recognized him, despite the fact that dark glasses covered part of the girl's face, her beauty fascinated him and he could not take his eyes off. The girl came up to him and, without saying a word, took a selfie with him, that's stunned him a little, which made him just look at her while she typing something in the phone.

“Sorry, you couldn’t uploading our photo to SNS for at least a few hours later, I’m here not officially, I don’t want a bunch of fans to gather at the entrance.” He asked politely, hoping to negotiate with this girl. “Please, and I'll leave you an autograph and buy you coffee,” he smiled broadly, trying to get her attention. He realized that he secretly hoped that the girl would agree to drink coffee with him, giving him the opportunity to get to know her.

The girl dropped her sunglasses on the tip of her nose and looked down at him before meeting his gaze, "What are you talking about, moron?" the girl answered him in a cold tone, putting on her glasses again and throwing her black leather travel bag at him. The girl picked up the phone, answering the call, heading towards the exit, while he looked in complete shock at the heavy bag in his hands, not understanding what was happening. "Yes mom. Mark met me. Everything okay, so don't worry and stop calling me every five minutes. And I love you" you hung up the phone, turning again in his direction, while he came to himself from the fact that it is YOU! And how that ugly twelve-year-old duckling from his memory turned into this fatal beauty, into which he practically fell in love at first sight?! "Are we going to hang out here until nightfall? Of course I understand the place is cool and all that, but maybe we'll go already?" you said pointing to the exit

“Oh, yes,” he muttered, still unable to come from the shock. He silently trudged towards the car. You got into the car after you greeted his manager, and he continued to stand by the car hugging your bag. The manager walked over to him and took the bag, putting it in the trunk.

"Mark, are you okay?" the manager asked him when he didn't even move

"What? Yes, let's go" he got into the car. You took off your glasses and sat with your eyes closed, why were you so beautiful. He could not think about anything all the way staring at you.

"You're staring!" you said irritably without opening your eyes

He turned sharply forward, turning away from you. What's wrong with you, - he scolded himself mentally. After drove to the agency and taking your bag, he went to the elevator “Let's go. You will have to wait for me. I have a dance practice," he said, clicking on the desired floor.

You entered the practice room where Jaebeom was waiting for the others, who are clearly late. Jaebeom's eyes widened when he saw you. Yep, apparently he had the same reaction, he laugh at himself.

“Hi, you must be ________! I've heard a lot about you, nice to meet you” Jaebeom smiled broadly as he stood up from the couch.

You came closer to Jaebeom shaking his hand and smiling broadly, which made you look even more beautiful. "Hi, me too. Wow, oppa you're so handsome. Can I take a picture with you, I'm a fan of yours” you said sweetly, and his jaw dropped from what he just saw

"Oppa?" he stared at you

“Yes, he's oppa. Isn't that how girls call handsome guys like you?” You didn't take your eyes off Jaebeom, obviously flirting with him while taking a selfie.

Jaebeom laughed, nodding his head, “Well, as you say. I'll leave you, I need to call the others and find out where they are. See you later” Jaebeom smiled at you before heading for the exit.

You waved to him and when Jaebeom left, you called your mom “Hi Mom,” you said when she appeared on the screen. “We just arrived at Mark's dance practice. He's so cute and let me be with them. By the way, he already booked a hotel for me.” You came up to him hugging him “Tell his became so beautiful, it makes to want to take him in arms, no?” you slightly pinched his cheek, smiling broadly

“Hello, good to see you,” he said to your mom, listening to her gratitude for agreeing to take care of you. After you said goodbye, you hung up, shoving the phone back into your pocket.

“I didn't even think that you could be so nice. I thought bitchiness it was your only nature" he said, throwing your bag on the sofa. You turned in his direction returning your cold look, which you gave him before." What hotel? What were you talking about? "

"You didn't think I was going to waste my vacation on you, did you?" You asked raising an eyebrow. “I have my own business here, so let's not interfere with each other. Send me your schedule so that I know where you are if mom suddenly calls. Unfortunately, we will have to have dinner together several times in order to send joint photos to our parents. I will write when I can, when I'll be know my schedule” you continued to say adjusting your makeup while he looked at you in bewilderment “You at least react somehow, otherwise I’m as if talking to a statue” you looked at him in the mirror.

“Great, otherwise I was afraid that I would have to be a babysitter. Tell me your number, I'll send you the schedule. What will you be doing, I need to know in order to answer my parents if they ask" He was not sure he wanted to know for an answer or because he really wanted to know what you would be doing.

"It does not matter. They should think that I am dragging everywhere with you. If I had said that I came here for work, they would not have let me go. "

"Work? Do you know anything other than making life difficult for others?" He chuckled. You took your black stilettos out of your bag and changed your shoes, stuffing your sneakers in your bag. In heels, you looked even sexier. Damn, what is he thinking about?

"Did you come up with a joke yourself or did you find it on the Internet?" you looked at him. "Anyway, let's keep avoiding each other." You said pretendingly smiling “Bye“ you took your bag and went to the exit “Btw...” you stopped near the door, turned and looked at him “Your face is my style” you winked and went out the door, leaving him standing in the middle of the hall with open mouth.

“What a crazy...” he muttered and sat down on the sofa. After receiving the message, he pulled out his phone.

Thank you, sonny. I was afraid that you would send someone else for meet _______. I love you.

He continued to look at your joint photo from the airport, he did not even pay attention to the fact that he was smiling so broadly at that moment. You were smiling too, you seemed so happy and friendly in this photo. He caught himself smiling all this time while looking at your photo. He closed his eyes, leaning on back, as he expected, as soon as you appear next to him, you can say "bye" in his quiet life.

... ... ...

Thanks God, neither his parents nor yours were persistent. Five days passed, and they never called or wrote. As like you ... why all this time he couldn't stop thinking about you. He should have been glad that he didn't need to take care of you, but why then did he not feel it. He was interested in what you were doing, where you were and who you were with. You sent him your schedule, if he could call it that, it was a list of dates marked 'busy' and 'free'. He took out his phone and opened your message, you were free today. For today, his schedule is over and he may invite you to dinner, although it might be too weird. Or not ... you still need to spend time together.

I'm free tonight and not even in a terrible mood, so I can sacrifice my evening and spend it with you.

It seemed to work out naturally, he laughed, rereading his sent message. He got a reply that made him practically growl.

I pass. There are more interesting plans.

An unbearable girl, he muttered, shoving the phone into his pocket.

"Everything okay?" asked Jaebeom, who was sitting next to him.

"Yes, everything is great. By the way, we are already free today and have not hung out together for a long time, besides, tomorrow is a day off. Shall we have a party? " he raised his voice to attract the attention of Jinyoung and Jackson, who were sitting in front.

Everyone made a noise, agreeing to his suggestions, discussing where to go. “How fortunate that we didn't wash off our makeup after the photoshoot. Maybe a club? " Jinyoung smiled broadly and everyone laughed.

"GREAT! A party!" clapped Jackson.

“It’s just worth changing. Unlike our faces, our clothes don't really fit the club.” He said while examining them, and everyone laughed again.

After three hours, they finally drove to the club. Turned out to "change clothe for the club" took longer than he could have imagined. They drove into the indoor club's underground parking lot, which was only allowed by invitation. It was the only place where celebrities could relax and have a good rest without worrying about going out in the morning millions of articles with incriminating photographs. All phones and other gadgets must be lefted at the guard at the entrance. They went inside behind the manager who escorted them to the table. Great, he thought, sitting down at the table. Their table was in a place where they could see everyone, but their no one saw. He looked around the hall sipping his drink while the others discussed everyone around.

“Wow who is this? Haven't seen her before" Jackson said, pointing to the middle of the dance floor. He and Jaebeom turned their heads and he froze wide-eyed when he saw you.

"Is it not a ..?" Jaebeom said with surprise

"Yeah, she is ..." he replied staring at the way you dance. What were you doing here? A thousand questions were spinning in his head.

"Do you know her?" asked Jinyoung, looking at you with interest too.

“Yes, we know” he and Jaebeom simultaneously answered

Some guy came up to you, beginning to dance next to you, obviously trying to meet you. He didn't even notice that his fists were tightening because of it. You smiled at the guy and turned away from him, you were clearly not interested in him. He couldn't deny that he was pleased with it. Unlike this guy who continued to persistently dance next to you and flirt, not wanting to accept your refusal. His jaw tightened and he got up abruptly from the table, heading to the dance floor, when this guy ran down your back and stopped his hand on your ass. He froze when a moment later you turned and twisted the guy's wrist, forcing him to kneel in front of you. He smiled broadly, continuing to walk towards you, apparently martial arts classes were not in vain. He came up to you and grabbed the guy by the collar with force, bringing him back to his feet.

"Are there no more shorter things in your wardrobe?" he asked, giving you a skeptical look.

You tilted your head to the side, looking at him in surprise "Do you really want to discuss the length of my dress now, daddy?!" you asked sarcastically. The way you called him daddy caused a wave of desire in his body. Stop, he was distracted, he kinda angry on you.

I'll be right back and we'll discuss your ‘more interesting plans’!” he said, pointing at you with his finger before dragging the jerk towards the guards. “Throw this garbage out of here, he was touching my friend, although she clearly refused him several times before,” he said when he saw a guard he knew. After the changes, this guy was escorted to the exit, and he returned to the dance floor. “We need to talk,” he said. taking your hand and dragging you towards the back exit, where the quiet zone was.

“Mark, let me go. Where are you dragging me?!" you kept trying to get out all the way. He closed the door behind him so that no one would disturb them when you entered the VIP room.

"What are you doing here and why do you look like this?"

"I look like?" you stared at him

"Like…"

"Like who?" you asked angrily, and you were right, your long-sleeved dress reached almost mid-thigh and was completely covered. But it hugged your beautiful figure, driving him crazy, wanting to run his hands along your curves.

“This dress is too short. What are you doing here? "He said the first thing that crossed his mind.

“You are not my older brother or parents to tell me where to be and how to dress” you shouted at him and you were right. But why was it so angry then that instead of having dinner with him, you chose to go to the club. Why now the only thing he could feel was excitement. "What's wrong with you ?!"

"Everything !!! Everything is wrong with me! Every time you appear in my life everything goes awry! ”

“Excuse me, what? Oh god damn sorry your fucking life is disturbed by my presence, Mr. Perfect Guy! ” you walked up to him poking your finger into his chest with every word.

"Shut up!" he screamed at you, no longer able to control his emotions

"Oh, no really ... let's hear how I destroyed your ..." He grabbed you, pressing you firmly against his body, closing your mouth with a kiss. It seemed that his brain was disabled because he absolutely did not understand what he was doing now. You tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his grip on your hair, deepening that killer kiss. Everything inside him turned upside down, plunging him into an all-destructive fire, not giving the slightest hope of salvation. He enjoyed too much, the sensation of your curves under his fingers, the sweet taste of your kiss, to think about the consequences.

He ran his hands down your back, squeezing your ass and pressing your body against his hard cock. You pushed him hard, causing him to lose his balance falling on the couch behind him. You left the room without even looking in his direction. He fell back on the couch, covering his face with his hands. “Congratulations, moron! You just ruined everything, "he growled, scolding himself. What was that all about. He thought he surprised himself more than you, in the moment he kissed you. How the thought that 'maybe he likes you' turned into a 'destructive passion', from which he could not control himself. But even more frightened him that if you had not pushed him away, he would not have been able to stop himself only with kisses. He pounded his fists hard on the couch before getting to his feet and headed towards exit.

"Have not seen _______?" he asked Jaebeom whom he bumped in the hallway.

“Oh, yes I saw her. She said goodbye, said that she was already leaving because tomorrow is a busy day. Weren't you together? It seems like you left together ... "Jaebeom looked at him in surprise

"Yes together. Well, I told you, she doesn't tell me anything except rudeness "he quickly changed the subject

“I don’t know, with me she’s always cute when we talk.” Jaebeom shrugged.

“That you only saw twice in total less than five minutes, of course she’s cute with you,” he laughed

"Not only when we meet, when we talk on the phone, too sweet"

"By phone?" his eyes widened

"Well yes. We exchanged numbers on the first day while we went down to the parking lot together. She told me to tell her how you are doing, because 'that angry ass, still won't write to her.'

“You seem to know more about her than I do. Maybe then you know what kind of job? " he could not hide that it made him angry

"Yes, she is a model, but her parents are against it, so I had to lie that she was going on vacation."

"I see you are almost the best friends!" he said through clenched teeth, and Jaebeom looked at him questioningly, “I don’t feel myself well, say goodbye to the guys for me. See you" he said as he walked past Jaebeom towards the exit.

He went outside breathing in the cool air. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he dialed your number "Where are you?" he asked when you answered.

"What is it to you?" you snorted into the phone

"Let's talk"

“ 'Let's talk' , or are you going to accuse me of all mortal sins again, and then you’ll kiss me?”

"Where are you?" his tone became calm and soft, least of all now he wanted to quarrel with you

"In a 7eleven a couple of blocks from the club," you answered by hanging up. When he reached the store, a wide smile lit up his face. You sat in a chair and dangled your legs with chopsticks in your mouth, waiting for the ramen to be ready. Now you looked like that the fidget he knew. Going into the store, he bought himself food and a few bottles of beer and after paid for everything, he went to you.

“Models have an interesting diet. Ramen, gimpab, kimchi and beer. Waaaaaa, and this is at one o'clock in the morning ... " he chuckled, putting his food next to yours, sitting down on a nearby chair.

"Who would say," you said took the chopsticks out of your mouth, examining his set. "When I'm angry, I always want spicy ramen," you said smiling broadly, stirring the noodles.

He laughed when you spat the noodles back out because you burned your tongue. "What a ninny" he said laughing. Tearing off your lid from the ramen, he made an envelope and stuck it into your hand. “Even children can eat ramen without burning their tongues. You take some noodles, put them in an envelope, blow on them and then eat them. " he brought chilled noodles to your mouth. “Eat” he said, placing a slice of kimchi on top.

"Yummy" you smiled, chewing on noodles and bouncing in your chair with happy. What a cutie, he thought, watching you.

He opened the beer and put it in front of you, swapping it with your closed “Here, drink”

“I could have opened it by myself,” you furrowed your eyebrows

“Yeah, that's why it's closed. Probably you almost broke all your nails while trying to open the can" he took your hands, turning towards him, examining your manicure.

You turned back and drank a sip of beer returned to the noodles "Did you come to watch on me or eat?" you said pointing to his food.

“Eat more slowly, otherwise your stomach will ache,” he smiled and you laughed

“From trying to fuck me, you went to worrying about my stomach. You never cease to amaze me today "you spoke so calmly about it that everything inside him turned into a tight knot

"I didn't try you ..." he couldn't even finish the sentence

“Okay. As you say" you got up and came to the bin throwing out the trash. "So what did you want to talk about?" You asked when you returned to your place.

“I ... About what happened in the club” he looked at his beer, unable to meet your gaze

“So...” you answered, and he stared at you in bewilderment, “What? It's you wanted to talk,” you raised the can of beer while taking a sip

"Don't you worries about that?" he asked you

“It pissed me off - yes, it worries me - not really. Does it worries you? "

"Yes, it worries me!" he looked at you with wide eyes

"Why?" you looked at him in surprise and leaned forward, getting too close “Mark, I'm not 12 years old. Even if you fucked me, it would have happened not because I could not resist you, but because I did not mind it" you whispered in his ear. “And here is my taxi” you got up from the chair pointing to the black car. “See you” you said and left, leaving him alone.

All he could do, was look at the leaving car. “Great talk,” he muttered, tossing untouched food and beer into the bin.

... ... ...

These few days he was more like a robot that does everything that is told to him. He stared out the window at the lights as his manager drove him home. The head was empty, or vice versa, there were so many thoughts in it that the brain stopped responding to them, simply mute it. Saying goodbye to the manager, he went into the house. You had the weekend ahead, maybe he should call you, he thought as he took the elevator to his floor. In all the case, you have to meet. He was staring at his door when he heard soft music playing from his apartment. Some of the guys came to visit without warning him, he thought, entering the code. His stomach rumbled with the smell of delicious food as he came in. "Whoever you are, I won't kill you just because of the delicious food," he said loudly, walking into the living room. He stopped when he saw you sitting on the couch. "What are you doing here?" he was completely taken aback by your presence, you were the last person he expected to see in his house.

“Is this your favorite question? Why do you keep asking it every time you see me? " you asked getting up from the couch. “I didn't know what you like, so I chose meat and wine” you went into the kitchen and turned off the oven, took out baked meat with vegetables and put it on the table.

"_______, what are you doing here?" he asked again because you ignored his question

"Preventing a zombie apocalypse?" you smiled while handing him a glass of wine

"What?" he frowned at the fact that he could not understand if he heard you correctly, "You just said zombie apocalypse?"

"Yes. Jaebeom said I turned you into a zombie. Since you are patient zero, you can still be saved. Probably. Judging by the symptoms and incoherent speech, you are doomed.” You went up to him, raised his hand and gave him a glass of wine, which he had not taken before.

"Really? Are we talking about zombies now? " he stares at you “I think I’m going crazy,” he muttered, drinking all the wine in one gulp. "Why are you here?" he stepped closer, placing the empty one on the table.

“Make a selfie for parents” you raised your phone and opened the camera. He pushed your hand away, causing your phone to fall to the floor.

“If you needed a photo, you would meet on somewhere alse, and not cook dinner with wine at my place!”

“You’re right,” you said with a malicious smile, brushing a lock of hair from his forehead. This angered him even more and he grabbed your hand with force, stopping you.

"Why are you here?" he screamed at you. He did not even understand how a moment later he found himself lying on his back with his hands pressed to the floor.

“Finish what you started” you said, digging into his lips.

His body reacted faster than his brain and he pressed your body against his, deepening the kiss. Rolling over, he was on top of you. He moaned as your legs wrapped around his waist, forcing him to rub his cock against your crotch. Pulling back for a moment, he tore his shirt violently, getting rid of it, not wanting to waste time for unbuttoning. Unbuttoning his jeans, he pulled them down to his hips. He lifted your skirt around your waist, ripping off your panties, pushing inside your pussy. He dug into your lips again, covering your mouth with a kiss as you screamed. He gripped your body tightly as you tried to pull away from him. He pushed hard at you all its length, causing your body to arched under him. He growled as you squeezed his dick hard. His head was spinning with pleasure, blurring the line between reality and ecstasy. He came out of you and pushed into you again with force. Your body relaxed with each deep thrust, making him want more and more pleasure. He pulled your blouse with force, getting rid of it, giving him access to your bare skin. He ran his tongue over your collarbone before biting it with his teeth. You hissed, digging your nails into his bare back. He abruptly left you and got to his feet, dragging you by the hand. He lifted you into his arms, pressing you against the wall again making a hard push into you. You hugged his shoulders tightly as he dug into your lips. This kiss was dizzying, revealing to you everything he felt now. Tenderness changed with passion and vice versa. It was crazy, he lost track of time.

It seemed to him that all eternity had passed, or maybe only five minutes. His moans mingled with yours as everything inside him raged, bringing him closer to orgasm. A wave of heat passed down his back, dropping down as you squeezed his dick hard, cumming hard. He wanted to hear as long as possible how you moan his name dissolving into your orgasm. His thrusts into you hardened, it seemed that something inside him snapped, releasing a wild beast that he was trying to hold back all this time. His fingers and teeth dug into your skin, leaving red marks on it. The more he fucked you, the more he wanted. His orgasm was like the horizon, which receded with each step towards it. Your body trembled violently in his hands with every thrust. He buried himself in your neck, hiding his smile. He growled loudly as he cum, filling you with sperm. The pleasure was almost painful, tearing everything inside him into small pieces. He continued to make shallow thrusts inside you, prolonging his pleasure, until he came to himself with intense pleasure. He put you on your feet, resting his hands on the wall and left a gentle kiss on your lips. He ran his hand over your body and laughed softly as you groaned while closing your eyes.

"Aren't you hungry?" you asked looking at the table with untouched food

“I'm terribly hungry. Let's continue?" he sank down and hugged your legs tightly, throwing you over his shoulder and heading for the bedroom.

"Oh my god ..." you moaned

"Sorry, babygirl, but he can hardly save you tonight" he slapped your ass and you giggled as he walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

... ... ...

“You know that you look like a maniac when you smile like that?” Jackson said as he sat down opposite him. “At first you walk like a zombie for several days, now you giggle almost every second. Tell me honestly, have you lost your mind?"

He laughed at Jackson's words, it must have looked like that from the side. “No, I'm completely fine. I was treated to a delicious dinner.” He smiled broadly recalling that night. Dinner was really delicious, even though you ate it in the morning. He threw his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes, remembering how you yelled at him, saying that now you have to take a bath of bb cream, because your whole body was in red marks from his fingers and teeth. I miss you, he thought to himself. He has not seen you for several days, and why in the last days you have had more work than him. He opened his eyes when sounded a phone notification. He took his phone out of his pocket and laughed as he read the message from you. Oh yes, this is what he wanted to hear now:

I'm not hungry. Let's have dinner?

_______________________

LIST

_______________________

#got7 #mark tuan x reader #mark tuan x you #mark tuan x y/n #mark tuan #mark tuan got7 #got7 mark tuan #got7 mark #got7 x reader #got7 x you #got7 x y/n #got7forever

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fyhyunah · 4 years ago

Text

HyunA and DAWN Talk About Their Five-Year Relationship On “My Ugly Duckling”

On the February 28 episode of SBS’s “My Ugly Duckling,” HyunA and DAWN appeared as guests!

The celebrity mothers on the show shared their warm admiration for the couple’s relationship. HyunA and DAWN have been dating since May 2016 and went public with their relationship in August 2018.

DAWN said, “When she calls me by my real name, I get chills. My real name is Kim Hyo Jong, but she usually calls me by a term of endearment or just ‘DAWN.’ If I do something wrong, though, she’ll call me by my real name. It’s scary to be called by your full name, but the final ‘Hyo Jong’ is really scary too.”

HyunA said, “I usually call him jagi [a term of endearment like ‘honey’ or ‘darling’], but if I catch him at something, I’ll call him ‘Hyo Jong.’ He catches on right away when I do that.” DAWN added, “I suddenly get a lot of thoughts in my head. I start to review everything I did since that morning.”

DAWN and HyunA were asked about their parents’ reactions to their relationship. HyunA admitted that DAWN might look like a surprising choice for her on the surface, but added, “My parents know how much he takes care of me. It took them some time to open up their hearts, but I also have that kind of vibe. We’re a good match.” DAWN added humorously, “There’s an upside. I can give off a bad first impression, so the more you get to know me, the more you realize, ‘Oh, he’s better than expected.'”

HyunA said, “My dad’s never acted tough in front of me, but there is something different. I didn’t know this, but apparently he takes [DAWN] aside to give him hints. I’ve never seen it myself.” DAWN said, “He gives me a lot of good advice. Now if I’m curious about something, I’ll ask him. Of course, because of the vibe I give off, he was very suspicious of me at first.”

HyunA shared that the couple sometimes goes to fortunetellers together and said, “We were told once that we had met and broken up in a previous life before getting together in this one.” DAWN said, “The funny thing was that the fortuneteller said that HyunA was a general in a previous life, whereas I was a famous gisaeng [courtesan].”

The couple were asked a common question on the show, which is about the “expiration period” of love. HyunA said, “I don’t think there is one. I think that the expiration date is ‘today.’ I believe that love renews itself every day. I love like every day could be the last.”

DAWN said, “I think that the ‘expiration date’ is not about love but about that heart-fluttering feeling. Anyone can feel their heart flutter for anyone, whether it’s someone you met in the past or might meet in the future. But love only expires when you give up on it. When the heart-fluttering period is over, you tend to get into more conflicts and sometimes get hurt. But as long as you believe that you want to be with this person in your heart, there is no ‘expiration date’ for love.”

#hyuna #kim hyuna #e:imnotcool #dawn #o:news #210228

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ahh-fxck · 4 years ago

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can i have some cute christmassy yenralt? maybe mistletoe kisses? with bonus ciri? :D :D <333

Ok, @geraltsays! *cracks knuckles* Here we go. I hope you like it!

Prompt for my 200 follower/100k words celebration

Geralt/Yennefer and Ciri, rating: PG (ish?) Please bear with any typos, I am posting this without beta.

The manor was quiet. Yennefer walked from room to room, turning out the lights as she went. It had been a long day, and she was ready for it to be over with at last. She paused in the kitchen, grabbing two glasses and a large bottle of hard cider in a bucket of ice. It clattered quietly in her hand as she lifted it, striding purposefully down the hall to the living room.

The living room was huge, with a plush white carpet everywhere except the fireplace, which had lovely slate tile in front of it. (The white carpet had turned out to be a mistake, but more on that in a moment.) A long, overstuffed leather couch faced it, and in the far corner by the window was one of the largest trees that Yennefer had ever seen stuffed into a house. She sniffed, walking over to place the bucket and glasses on the low table in front of the couch. Straightening, she stared thoughtfully into the fire.

The carpet had turned out to be a mistake for the same reason that there was now a giant tree in her bloody living room. Of course, she couldn’t have known that when she bought the manor. No, back then she was single, and parenthood had been the furthest thing from her mind.

A small noise behind her caused her to stir. She turned and broke out into an unguarded smile of sheer delight. Leaning against the doorjamb was a towering man with white hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. He was wearing a black t-shirt and black jeans, which were set off very charmingly by the glittery tiara on his head and the fluffy pink boa wound around his neck. There was something that looked suspiciously like a mustard-colored handprint smeared low on his shirt, and there were shadows under his eyes.

“Geralt,” she grinned. “You look like a troll ate you and spat you back up.”

Geralt grumbled under his breath, looking down at the mustard stain on his shirt. This motion caused the forgotten tiara on his head to fall. He cursed and caught it in a practiced motion, tossing it aside into a nearby box of toys.

Yennefer slipped around the side of the couch as he did so, slowly walking over to greet Geralt. It was his first year as a father to his adopted daughter Ciri, and it showed. Not only had he bought a tree so big she’d had to force him to cut part of it off before it even fit in the living room, he had stuffed the place full of presents. The fact that they were mostly from the dollar store made it more charming. At three, Ciri was just happy she got to tear paper. The present inside seemed to exist in her small mind as some sort of odd bonus.

“Is she in bed?”

“She’d better be,” Geralt sighed, starting to peel the boa off as well. “I just tucked her in for the third time.”

Yennefer reached out, pulling Geralt’s hand down before he can take the boa off. She hummed, amused. “Leave it. You look charming.”

“I look like I got tarred and feathered by Sailor Moon,” Geralt complained, but there’s no heat in it. He smiled as Yennefer stepped a little closer, nudging him off of the doorjamb.

“You look like a good father,” Yennefer said, walking him back another step. “It looks good on you.” She walked him back another step, then grabbed him by the boa and halted him.

“Perfect.” Eyeing him, she tightened her grip just a little more. Ever since he’d shown up on her doorstep with a toolbelt around his waist, she hadn’t been able to stop looking at him. He’d been there to replace wiring damaged by a squirrel, but their chemistry had been, dare to say, electric.

By the time he’d rolled off of her, she’d known that she was in love. She’d known it before his back had even hit the bed.

Now, he glanced over his shoulder as he saw her eyes begin to gleam. Up above his head he spotted a sprig of mistletoe. Over by the fire the ice shifted, causing the bottle to settle slightly. He glanced at it, then back at Yennefer. His eyebrow went up. “Yeah?”

“Mm,” Yennefer purred her agreement. “For good luck. Christmas is only two days, we’re going to need it.”

Geralt gave a low rumbling chuckle, pulling her close. “You’re not wrong.”

Yennefer wound the fingers of one hand into his shirt, using the boa to pull him down. “Less agreeing, more kissing,” she murmured teasingly. “Before Ciri wakes up again.”

“Hmm,” Geralt agreed, amber eyes sparking with humor. He studied her face for a little moment; a few heartbeats- less- drinking in her beauty. Then she yanked at the boa around his neck and pulled hard, forcing him down. He went with a willing chuckle, feeling his knees turn to water as Yennefer’s soft lips pressed against his own. The scent of lilac and gooseberries enfolded him and he swayed happily, his eyes fluttering closed. And when her tongue did a wicked little flicker, he felt a surge of heat roll through his body.

He was halfway through picking her up when he realized, too late, that the little noise he’d been hearing was not, in fact, snowmelt dripping off of the roof. It was little feet.

“EWWWWWW!”

Behind them was a wide-eyed toddler with white-blonde hair and emerald green eyes. She wore pajamas that matched the boa around Geralt’s neck, and she carried a little plush horse so worn that it was almost rags. She bit her finger and scowled at Geralt and Yennefer curiously. “Yuck?” she added, hopefully.

Geralt closed his eyes and sighed, carefully placing Yennefer back on the floor. Yennefer just laughed.

“What are you doing out of bed, little cub?” She pushed Geralt aside and gathered Ciri up, giving Geralt a moment to… compose himself. Giggling, she carefully turned with Ciri in her arms to look at the tree.

“Is Santa here yet?”

“Goodness ugly one, no! He’s not going to be here for two more days! You’ll keep him away by staying awake, didn’t you know?”

“I’m NOT ugly!” Ciri crowed. She knew this game.

“Yes you are! My pretty ugly one. My beautiful, ugly duckling.”

“I’m NOT a DUCKLING!” Ciri shouted. Yennefer began to tickle her as Geralt drifted over to join them, a tired smile on his face.

“Oh no? What are you then? Are you a frog?” she teased, her violet eyes alight with happiness as the toddler flailed her chubby limbs.

“No! I’m a PRINCESS!” Ciri shouted with laughter.

“That’s right,” Geralt sighed, coming up and enfolding both of them in his arms from behind. “Our beautiful princess.” He and Yennefer exchanged glances out of the corner of their eye- looks like the cider would have to wait, at least for one more bedtime story.

#yenralt #geralt x yennefer #ciri #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher fic #geraltsays

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osamusriceballs · 4 years ago

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Manager-chan's timeskip!life. Day 28.

Manager-chan’s timeskip!life. Day 28.

In every person’s life, there are meetings that change their fate. Guys, for me… is actually you.

Boys and manager’s parents talks about her childhood. Meanwhile manager deals with her business. She pulls out her phone and sees photo of Inarizaki volleyball club with her on her phone screen. It brings back memories.

I know, that you, guys, asked me about my life before moving to Japan. But I actually don’t have any special memories of that time. I think, all my “past” life was like this: I made new friends, got along well for a while, and, finally, got a lot of envy from them and stayed alone. One day I asked my mother about it, I still remember this moment:

- Mum, why does this always happen? - Look in the mirror! No one girl wants to be friends with someone, who is so good looking. - But I’m pretty ordinary… - No, (Name), you aren’t.

I can’t say that I was completely disappointed in people. But after I accidentally heard my friend say something like: “All (Name) does is fawn over guys. It makes me sick!”; I needed a rest, I felt that I’ve no strength to experienced this one more time. So I stopped trying to make friends and began to live a lonely, but rather quiet life. Until I moved to Japan.

I still remember my mother’s last words, which she said before I leaved them: - (Name), if you want to make a difference, find a group with only boys and no girls in Japan and be friends with them.

Then I thought it was nothing. But now I understand that she made sense. Those words really helped me on my first school day. On the day of the opening ceremony, I mindlessly hung out between the barkers who invited first-year students to clubs. I was lost in my thoughts, until I heard: “Oh, you’re so pretty! Please, become volleyball club manager!”. Then some guy shoved a volleyball club ad in my face and leaved. So the choice was made.

I found boys at volleyball club awkward and chaotic, but also cute and really nice. Most importantly, I felt that they’re really nice to me. And at moment when I realized that I wanted to stay with those boys forever. I started trying to be the best manager for them. I didn’t notice that volleyball became an important part of my life, and those boys became the most important people for me.

Guys, you, maybe, don’t realize it, but I love you more, than you can imagine. I always cooked for myself alone, but you cooked special for me. I always eat alone, but you eat with me. I always celebrate my birthday just with my parents, but you made birthday party for me and invited a lot of people. I always tried to hide my illnesses to avoid disturbing my parents, but you took care of me every day, when I was sick. I always dealt with bulling alone, but you protected me. I always cried alone, but you comforted me. I feel so happy every time I’m with you. Thank you.

Bonus. If I was drawing manga, I would make the last frame like this: Frame: manager hugs with boys at her place, when she comes home (from day 27). Line from author: “Don’t feel bad if you feel lonely or you’re single now. Maybe God looks at you and thinks: I keep this Golden Girl for those amazing boys”.

____________________

Wow-

I’m just- WOW.

Tilli, you’re really hittin’ me with all the feelings in the middle of the night. DON’T MAKE ME CRY AHHH-

You know what I like about this the most? This feels kind of like the story of the ugly duckling- she thought she was not good enough, that something was wrong with her, but it’s not her. She is perfect just the way she is, and she deserves to be recognized as the person she is, and that is what the Inarizaki boys do!

And this is also a positive message to everyone who reads this. Stop doubting yourself- you’re perfect, just the way you are.

I love your note at the end!

I’m just- wow <3

Tilli, you should definitely start a writing blog. Period. That’s what everyone thinks after reading this.

#daily dose of inarizaki #day 28 timeskip!#tilli 💖#submission

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aliyya-atta · 3 years ago

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Abandon

I opened my eyes; the only thing that I could see was darkness. I am unable to understand. It seems that I am in a state of obscurity. Oh! God, where am I? Where am I? The only thing there was visible darkness all around. It was like dungeon or a prison. It is so dark here. Am I kidnapped?. I called for help, but I could not split a word out. I realized that nobody could hear my voice. Suddenly, I realized that I was speaking in my head. I called for help several times, but nobody came. I am sacred. My throat was choking. I could listen to my eco. I tried to move my hands, but they were; fastened. (They were fettered with long metal chains). I couldn't breathe. Please let me out. Please! Let me out. I haven't done anything wrong. (round smiling face, almond eyes, button nose, and chubby cheeks). Tears were coming out. What did I do?. Did I do something wrong?. Why am I tied up? What did I do ?. I am not the one whom you are punishing. (I was saying this in a shrieking voice.) .

Who! Should I punish?. They are the ones who have destroyed my life. (An unpleasant and harsh voice came.).

Who are you?. Please! Show yourself. Why should I reveal myself? You could not get a glimpse of me because I am dark as a shadow. Like vampires, shadows like to be unknown. Why! I can't see you?. Cause I told you I am a shadow. I am the reflection of your fiction. (Sobbing sound was there.) . What? Why am I here ?. I haven't done anything wrong with you. I am innocent, please! Believe me. (I said in a sobbing sound ). You are an uninformed person!. You think you are innocent. (An arrogant shadow said in a loud voice). You fool, you think you have not done anything. You are just a useless person. (cold ).

Furthermore, you are right: Am I a useless person?. Not only that, but you are right; I am not capable of doing anything right. I always break things around me. (pain in her eyes). But it was not my choice. "If God asked me do I want to live in this world? "."Then my answer would be I have to live. This world is harsh and selfish. But, what took place I ended up here in this world. "(shrinking and painful voice, tears were rolling down).

Hahaha, what a pathetic thought. You are a coward person: You could not do anything well in your life. You will end up in this dark dungeon. Your parents and your friends are right: You are an ugly duckling. You are an imperfect person for this perfect world; MISS ALIYA! YOU ARE NOTHING. (He raised his voice ). "It is not your fantasy world. It is not your imaginary world. You think that all the things would happen according to your imagination. But let me tell you, your fantasy had made you a sick person. You always look like a dumb and unconfident person. That is why people consider you dumb; Because it is easy for them to snatch you. Do not blame everyone for your foolishness."

"I do not have any friends: I am the left one. I am a betrayed person, I am not ill. It does not mean that I am a sick person. Why shouldn't I blame them?. They bully me always. They always do a prank on me: They are rascals. They are the ones who stick bubble gum on my chair: They threw my books, they laugh at me. They make fun of me and joke about me."(Flashbacks with pain. A painful look on her face).

And who let them do this? You let them laugh at you. (Me, I did not let them do this.) Cause you do not have the tongue to stop them. Do not you have? But I forget (with a laugh). You could not say anything because you did not have the courage. You are a scary cat. And this world does not belong to the cowardly person. You have to fight like a warrior, or you can end up committing suicide. It always depends on you.

It does not depend upon me. I belong to a broken family: My parents do not have any time for me. They are always cruel to each other. They do not have any time. When I failed, they said, 'I cannot do anything.' They are both egoistic people. They have only time for fighting. If they listened to me, then those people would not bully me.

Hahaha, now you are blaming your parents. What! A shame. Now you do not have anybody to blame. Now you are blaming them. What a great idea of blaming?. I must say I am amused. Wow! What a great idea of blaming others. Why won't you blame yourself?. Why don't you say that you are a scared cat?. What! A shame.

Then you tell me what I can do. Why won't they stop? If they stop, then, I won't have anyone to blame. Then I wouldn't have to blame anyone. Then I wouldn't have to cry.

Hahaha, again your hallucination. O! You know what, you are the biggest enemy of yourself. Nobody can help you. He would be the biggest loser who tried to help you because you found yourself a pity. Stop mounting on people. Be the sailor of your ship. But you wouldn't understand. You love to be assisted by others. You love what people say about you; “That is a poor girl". You love to be a slave. You are a loser, and you will always be a loser. You know you should die. Miss aliya! Suicide. I think this is the best solution for all of your problems.

After saying that, he went out.

Maybe he is right. I should commit. That is not fair.

"The most painful fight in this world is with yourself."

We can fight with him.

Who are you?. I am your inner voice. I am here to help you. Before doing anything, please! Listen to me. It's a request. Please! For a few seconds, listen to me.

I know when a person breaks, what happens. I know that pain. I am in you and I know what's going inside. We are humans: we have to go through phases. We are meant to go through them. If you want to become a strong person, you have to go through them. I know it's hard, but you are an artist. Everybody is an artist of their life, just paint your life again. You know what, when a person draws an art, it's only black and white. But when he painted that art with different colors, it became magnificent. It becomes the image of your vision. You know what everyone has their favorite color, but I believe there are so many colors in this world. Then why do people choose one color as their favorite color You know what I believe every color is beautiful. Sometimes color describes your inner- self. Sometimes they reveal the mask of the other person. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. But thinking that suicide solves it, you are wrong. The thing is that solutions are everywhere. Just give yourself a second chance. Just be yourself. See the beauty in everyone. Some people can be ignored easily. Just don't listen to everyone. Just listen to yourself. Just see the beauty in every color. Then you won't hate anyone, if a person makes fun of you see his real color deep inside he was also broken, or see that his heart is darkened by his actions. . You can't change everyone. You can do at least one thing just ignore that person, and you feel relief. We are humans; we need a relief break. We are humans, we need a relief break. Pain makes you stronger. You can't feel true happiness until you face pain. I know it's hard, but look around every person in this world everyone has suffered through the pain. I know it's hard to get over it. But we are in this together. We can't live without each other. I am your inner voice. I will always guide you. Without me you are an animal; with me, you are a human. We all have emotions, but sometimes too much pain can't be described by words; there are no such words to describe them. We only cry. Just rub your eyes and listen to me paint your life again. When you are scared, just call me, I will be there. Start to ignore those fools because you are more talented. You are an artist. Be the artist of your own life.

When I was fifteen, I thought the same way you are thinking now. But the thing is that close your eyes and, "Paint your life again". It helps a lot. See the vision, then become the image of your vision. When you are lost then listen to it; it will help you. Fight with your negative thoughts. My child, they harm you; they want to kill you inside out. I am there to help you.

#inner-self #thoughts #self care #broken #words and actions hurts #bulling #victim blaming #depreesed #love yourself #lost #help yourself #listening to #pain

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xcertaindarkthingsx · 4 years ago

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chapter 1 - reunion

a/n: hi everyone :) this is my first time posting my writing on here and writing for star wars in general, i hope you like it! it’s going to be a series. feel free to leave any comments or constructive criticism, it’s greatly appreciated. if you’d prefer to read on ao3 you can do so here

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x oc (you can learn more about her here)

warnings: none for this chapter, i think. just some fluff and two people checking each other out haha

word count: 4.162k

tag list: @a-dorin if you’d like to be tagged, feel free to message me :)

Fingers fidgeted, twisting a lock of hair over and over again. Nerves began to creep up on the Jedi, but the steady rumble and thrum of the Republic cruiser helped keep them at bay.

“You’re nervous,” her companion, Cordé, stated. Seraphine turned to face her; their faces bathed in the soft, blue light of hyperspace. She was right of course, but there was no way in hell Seraphine was going to admit it.

“Am I?” she tried to play cheeky but the waver in her voice betrayed her. Kriff, she thought.

“I can’t imagine why; you haven’t any bad blood with anyone there. Unless,” Cordé paused, “this has something to do with a certain Jedi Master you left behind,” adding an arched brow and a smirk. Seraphine shot her best murderous glare towards her friend before wrapping herself tighter in her robes. An old habit from when she was a youngling.

“Oh, please,” she enunciated with an eyeroll. “It’s not that it’s just… I wonder how different ‘home’ will be now.” Home being the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, where she grew up.

For the past 4, almost 5 years, Seraphine had been on a long-term undercover mission on Kessel, a lawless planet in the outer rim territories. There, she met Cordé, and together they worked with locals and other Jedi stationed in nearby outposts to uncover and destroy an extensive trafficking ring. It was difficult, and they suffered great losses, but within 2 and a half years their mission was a success. Seraphine longed to return home, but instead decided to stay and deal with the fallout of their mission and further assist the victims.

That quickly came to an end after the events on Geonosis. When word broke out of the battle and upcoming war, a distress call was sent out to the far reaches of every system, warning every Jedi Temple of what was to come. Those who were able, or those originally from Coruscant, were to come as soon as possible to aid in the war effort.

Just a few days ago, Seraphine received her own transmission from Master Yoda and her old Master, Plo Koon. They urged her to come back home and bring any extra hands if possible. So, there they were, aboard a cruiser en route to Coruscant.

Seraphine’s mind wandered to what she had left behind all those years ago. Her friends— Aayla, Quinlan, Kit, Nejaa, Bant; her master and mentors. Not to mention little Anakin training as a Padawan, and his master— Obi-Wan Kenobi. Her closest friend, her partner in crime, and the most honorable man she knew. His old master, Qui-Gon, had been partially responsible for bringing her to the Temple as a child. They had grown up together on Coruscant; trained as Padawans, became Knighted within a few years of each other, and carried out plenty of adventurous missions before she left.

Her heart skipped at the thought of him. They had grown so close over time, and she realized too late that her feelings for him had turned into something forbidden, something they were sworn to deny.

It was no secret to Obi-Wan that Seraphine didn’t fully agree with the way the Jedi Code was conducted, especially when it came to casting aside emotions and preventing attachments. Her abilities within the Force made doing so very difficult. They had many spirited discussions with each other and their masters when they were younger. Obi-Wan did not find it amusing how much Qui-Gon and her agreed on such sentiments at the time.

Nevertheless, Seraphine never revealed how she felt about him. How could she? There was that whole situation with Satine, and more importantly— she knew what kind of man he was. While he had his disagreements with the Council at times, he was fiercely loyal to the Order. The probability of him reciprocating such intimate feelings for her just seemed impossible.

However, she knew how much he cared. Obi-Wan had always done well in preventing emotions from clouding his actions in important situations, but that didn’t mean he was callous. He was compassionate and cared deeply, and always made sure, in his own little way, to show it. They entrusted each other with their lives.

But Seraphine had grown weak and tired of burying herself away, so she did what she thought best: she ran away.

Confessing that she was leaving was difficult. While he tried to mask it, there was no denying the wave of hurt and disappointment that radiated from Obi-Wan. There was no doubt that if he knew how big a part he really played in her departure that it would hurt him even more. So when asked why, Seraphine held back, and he could tell. Her failure to tell the whole truth had left a bit of a ridge in their relationship.

They tried to keep in touch, but it became difficult when she went deep undercover, so their communications died out. Something sat heavy in Seraphine’s gut and chest, like a boulder, whenever she thought of him for too long. Guilt, her mind told her. What you’re feeling is guilt. It felt like she was losing a part of herself.

Being so far away, she worried constantly for his wellbeing. Regardless of how capable she knew he was. But something ensured that if anything were to happen, she would feel it.

By some twisted form of fate, a Force Bond had developed between them during a mission they had carried out just before she was Knighted. If one of them was in trouble, the other would know. Seraphine wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it wasn’t the most convenient thing to possess when trying to hide her true feelings. However, Master Plo’s teachings and training made reigning in her emotions doable. To her, the pros outweighed the cons. It was nice being able to reach out and feel Obi-Wan’s presence in the Force when she was missing him.

She always wondered if he did the same.

Foolishly, she thought time would subdue her feelings. She was wrong. All the kriffing training in the world couldn’t prepare her for being forced to face the very thing she’d been avoiding for years.

It’s not that Seraphine didn’t want to see him, but she didn’t know if she could handle his reaction to her return. Resentment? Would he even be on the platform when they landed? Insecurity seeded itself back into her mind, making her feel like the ugly duckling she always saw herself as when they were Padawans. Seraphine buried her body deeper into her robes, painfully conscious of herself. Doubts continued in her mind in a torturous cycle until Cordé interrupted.

“We’re about to make the drop out of hyperspace. We’re here, Seraphine.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Obi-Wan’s hands fidgeted with his forearm armor while he stood, waiting in the landing bay of the Jedi Temple. His heartbeat thrummed in his ears as he began to pace, one hand absentmindedly stroking his beard.

“You’re nervous,” Anakin pointed out to his former Master, amused. He’d never seen him act like this.

“I most certainly am not,” Obi-Wan insisted. He most certainly was, but there was no way in hell he was going to admit that to Anakin.

“Really, Master? Cause’ I haven’t felt you this tense since—”

“Oh, don’t start.”

Obi-Wan believed he had every right to be nervous. In a few moments he’d be seeing his oldest friend, his closest friend— Seraphine. They had grown up together, here at the Temple. And while she was 6 years his junior, they had trained closely as Initiates and Padawans together, and she became Knighted just a few years after him. She had been there for him during one of the most difficult times of their lives, when Qui-Gon had died.

They had been inseparable since they were younglings, so when she decided all those years ago to leave so abruptly, he couldn’t help but feel like he was losing a part of himself. But he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, let it show. He was aware there was more to why she left— their Force Bond had told him that much— but when he pressed her, she refused to disclose.

She had been his rock in taking care of Anakin, and he’d been fearful of what would happen when she left. It was difficult the first few months, and it didn’t help that his heart had suffered a blow as well. Obi-Wan recognized his hurt reaction as indication of feelings he was not supposed to have, so he told himself it was truly for the best. Though, it was hard to get his heart on board with his head.

They had tried to stay in touch when she had first left, but it quickly became difficult with their differing schedules, and almost impossible when she went deep undercover. He worried for her but knew that if something bad happened he would feel it. Once in a while, he would reach out in the Force just to feel a touch of her presence and make sure she was still there.

He wondered if she ever did the same.

News came around the Temple of her successful mission a few years later, and he remembered being incredibly proud. As quiet as she was, Seraphine was also the fiercest person he knew, and it showed in all her actions. Not only was he proud, he was excited. A successful mission meant she’d be coming home soon.

However, he was disappointed to find out she’d be staying out there for who knows how long, to clean up the fallout of the mission. Somehow that news hurt more than watching her leave, but he couldn’t be angry with her. Most people go in, get the job done, and leave without any regard for the long-term consequences of their actions. But Seraphine always took responsibility for her actions, good or bad. It was just the kind of person she was, and one of the many qualities he admired in her.

And now, he was finally getting what he’d been looking forward to all these years. With the war looming over them, they were in dire need of assistance from any Jedi they could spare. Not only that, he knew that her incredible skills would transfer over well to becoming a General for the Republic, and the Council knew it too. Just a few days ago, Master Yoda and Plo Koon had reached out to her directly to come home. He couldn’t bring himself to be in the briefing room when they called.

“Why is he nervous?” Ahsoka whispered loudly to Anakin, interrupting Obi-Wan’s reminiscing.

“Oh, for the last time, I’m not nervous,” Obi-Wan insisted. “It’s simply been a long time since I’ve seen her, she’s a dear friend.” He reminded himself to keep a reign on his emotions.

“I have some memories of her, but they’re a bit fuzzy. In bits and pieces,” Anakin murmured.

“You knew her too?” Ahsoka questioned, trying to get as much information about this mystery woman that seemed to have Obi-Wan on edge. Anakin nodded.

“She helped Obi-Wan take care of me when I first came to the Temple. We’d always train out in the back courtyards, under that big blossom tree,” Anakin paused and chuckled. “I’d sit and watch her sketch in her notebook, or she’d tell me all these crazy stories.”

The memory caused a burst of warmth in Obi-Wan’s chest; those days seemed so far away now. He’d already heard all her crazy myths, legends she had buried her nose in or remembered from her homeworld and recited as a child, but he loved to listen to her retell them to his young Padawan. His thoughts went to those very sketchbooks Anakin had mentioned, which were hidden away under his mattress, along with a small box of her belongings. She had given them to him as a sort of parting gift. A promise; something for him to hold onto until she came back.

“So, why did she leave?” Ahsoka probed further.

“She left for that Kessel trafficking mission a few years ago,” the older Jedi responded. The younger furrowed her brows, realizing it was something she’d learned in her classes.

“That was her?” Ahsoka was stunned. “We’ve talked about her in our studies, she’s amazing.”

Obi-Wan smiled to himself. “Yes, she is.”

Something about that mission sparked a faint memory in Ahsoka, something she’d read in an Archive file. “Wait, didn’t the same girl destroy that sect of Black Knights that emerged a long time ago?”

The memory of that mission left a sour taste in Obi-Wan’s mouth. He’d almost lost her that day. He opened his mouth to respond but was quickly interrupted by Commander Cody’s voice crackling on his commlink.

“General Kenobi, we’ve got an incoming ship from the east. Looks like they’re here.” Obi-Wan nodded at his Commander from across the platform, steeling his nerves as he watched the ship land.

He held his breath as the hatch opened, watching two figures emerge. Seraphine. He picked her out immediately as the one in front, knapsack hanging off her slight figure. The one trailing behind must have been her friend that Master Yoda mentioned. Obi-Wan urged himself to calm his emotions; stay cool and collected.

That silly notion completely disappeared upon seeing her walk down the platform.

Oh, Maker, she was beautiful, he thought. Just like she had been the day she left, but things were a bit different now. Her face had matured and while she always had a hardened demeanor, there was something else she wore on her face now. A sort of defiance in her brow that wasn’t there before.

Back then, Seraphine had buried herself in her Jedi robes like a security blanket. Always trying to make herself smaller, quieter. But now? Obi-Wan was in awe at how much taller she stood on that platform. Without even thinking, his eyes roved up and down her body. Her robes kept her somewhat obscured, but he could make out the new fabric underneath. It was still modest, but he never remembered seeing so much of her skin before, especially her legs. The thought made his face blaze and he quickly tried to think about anything else. She mirrored Anakin in her dark colored wardrobe— not a traditional Jedi look but then again, she was not a traditional Jedi.

He willed his eyes to shift their focus back to her face, noting how long her hair had grown. When she had left, it was still short and choppy from her Knighting, when she had impulsively cut it along with her Padawan braid. Now, it was long and flowing, like when they were younglings. A silver circlet sat at the top of her head, attached to a chain that weaved into her violet locks and made her look like an angel, her namesake.

Obi-Wan’s chest tightened as they got closer, and realized it was because he hadn’t taken a single breath since she stepped off the ship. Reminding himself to breathe, his eyes fell on the familiar swirl of tattoos on the edges of her face and down her neck. Others often found her markings too striking, too stark of a contrast on her skin and features, but Obi-Wan always thought it suited her perfectly.

He desperately tried to make out her expression, but her head was tilted towards Cody as she walked and talked. Her presence was immediately soothing to him, a pulse of comfort in the Force, but there was a cloud of uncertainty that hung in the air. Whether it was hers, or his own, he couldn’t tell. Would she even be happy to see him?

Those thoughts dissipated when Seraphine finally looked away from Cody. Obi-Wan watched as those golden brown eyes lit up and she broke into that wide, toothy smile of hers that always made him melt. It was a smile that rivaled even Master Fisto’s trademark grin.

His heart was in his throat, but he managed to smile back. In the blink of an eye, the space between them was erased and her arms had enveloped him in a hug that was too big for someone of her size. He stiffened on reflex, but quickly relaxed. Obi-Wan was never one for public displays of affection but for her he would make an exception.

“Obi-Wan,” she breathed into his ear, clutching him tight. Disbelief tinged her voice and the air around them, like she wasn’t sure if any of this was real. He clutched her just as hard, assuring her that it was. Her touch had stoked something in him, and he realized how long it’d been since he hugged another human being.

“Seraphine, my darling,” the term of endearment slipping out. Obi-Wan rarely called her that with so many people around, but frankly he was too happy to care. Gone were the days of having to reach out into the Force just to feel a taste of her presence. Now, he was almost overwhelmed by it. Their Bond seemed to swirl in harmony, sending waves of bliss and relief over them.

He didn’t mind. All that mattered to him was the fact that she was finally back home with him, where she belonged.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Seraphine’s stomach somersaulted as the ship dropped out of hyperspace and made its descent onto the landing platform. The nerves were overwhelming, but a tiny ball of excitement sat in her chest as well. She’d be seeing her best friend again.

The hatch of the ship opened with a hiss and she willed her legs to move forward, half aware of Cordé trailing behind. The two were greeted by a Commander Cody at the bottom before making their way towards the Temple entrance.

From afar, Seraphine could see a small group of people gathered that seemed to be waiting. She squinted, trying to make out any faces while making small talk with Cody. Her heart caught in her throat when she was close enough to see him. Obi-Wan.

Oh, still as handsome as the day I left him, she thought. He looked a bit different, but that familiar twinkle in his eyes let Seraphine know that it was still her best friend standing before her. Not to mention the signature smirk he so often wore. Smug bastard.

He had grown older, but not in a bad way. The smile lines that crinkled around his eyes made him look even more distinguished. His hair had grown out, accompanied by a well-groomed beard that suited him perfectly. Maker, that beard, she thought. Seraphine willed her mind to keep itself in check, but that kriffing beard was raising all sorts of sinful thoughts in her head. Thoughts she quickly shook away as her face began to heat up.

The traditional Jedi attire he usually wore included additions of battle armor that broadened his shoulders and heightened his build. Seraphine never thought she’d live to see the day where Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ever “peaceful negotiator”, donned an outfit for war but he looked good. It should be a damn crime to look that good.

The excitement in her chest was crushing and her feet surged forward on their own. A huge grin was plastered on her face as she threw her arms around him, whispering his name. She felt Obi-Wan stiffen for a split second, but his arms dropped and encircled her just as quick.

“Seraphine, my darling,” he whispered softly in her hair. A stronger flush rose on her cheeks at the sound of his nickname for her, and she was thankful he couldn’t see her face. She breathed in his scent and smiled. Still the same as before: warm, clean, with a hint of oak. Seraphine squeezed tighter, wanting to make sure it was really him standing in front of her. No more reaching out into the Force just to feel a faint taste of his presence. Now his signature shined brightly, blazing through their Bond. He was really here, and she was finally home.

The grin never left her face as she took a step back to look at him. Stormy blue eyes meeting hers and making her heart melt. A wave of relief washed over them, and neither was able to tell whose it was.

There was so much Seraphine wanted to say, but the right words just wouldn’t seem to form. Instead, she resorted to what she knew best with him— teasing. She playfully tapped the end of his beard with a small smirk.

“You look… different,” she said with a laugh, and thankfully he did too. “In a good way.” A smile spread across Obi-Wan’s face, along with that twinkle in his eye.

“I could say the same about you,” he countered, and Seraphine’s face betrayed her with another blush. The older Jedi thought it was endearing how easily flustered she was, even if she found it mortifying. He watched in amusement as she tried to force it down and cover it up with an eyeroll.

Remembering they weren’t alone, Seraphine turned to the man standing next to Obi-Wan. Her brows furrowed, trying to identify him. He seemed to enjoy watching her try and figure it out, judging from the mischievous smile on his face. Something about it made him look so familiar, almost like…

“Anakin?” Seraphine asked, dumbfounded. Anakin responded with an even bigger grin than hers before reaching out for his own hug. “Gods, I can’t believe it. You’re not a little kid anymore,” she mumbled, feeling bittersweet. He had completely grown up in her absence, his figure towering over hers. The thought was sobering. Seraphine felt like it was just yesterday she was wrapping him in blankets, acclimating him to the cold of Coruscant.

“It’s good to see you again, Seraphine,” he punctuated with a tight squeeze. As she looked over his shoulder, she met the eyes of a young Togruta girl. She wondered why a Padawan would be here, but still gave a polite smile as she pulled back from Anakin.

“I don’t believe we’ve met yet, what’s your name?” Seraphine inquired, extending an arm out as a greeting. The girl seemed to be skeptical at first, but with a small nod from Anakin she took Seraphine’s hand.

“I’m Ahsoka Tano. I’m Master Skywalker’s Padawan,” she answered, pride clear in her voice. Seraphine tried to hide her surprise as she let go of her hand. While Anakin had been a very skilled and powerful student when she left, he was still wild and headstrong. The fact that he’d been Knighted, let alone given a Padwan, shocked her. I supposed if anyone could get a Padawan so early, it’d be the Chosen One, she thought.

“Seraphine Kharis, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh, I know,” Ahsoka replied, much to Seraphine’s confusion. “We’ve talked about the Kessel mission in our studies. Your work is looked up to by a lot of us.”

Seraphine tilted her head at her, a look of puzzlement on her face. They talked about us in their classes? “Well, it certainly wasn’t just me, I had a lot of help. Especially from her,” she assured, putting a hand on Cordé’s shoulder.

After everyone was introduced, the group made their way towards the inside of the Temple. Falling into stride with Obi-Wan, Seraphine leaned to his side to whisper.

“They gave him a Padawan already?”

“Hey!” Anakin interjected, shooting a glare my way. Obi-Wan chuckled.

“Oh, trust me. I expressed the same sentiment at first, but he seems to be doing alright so far,” Obi-Wan assured. Seraphine could only imagine his initial reaction but knew that he trusted Anakin. That didn’t stop her from teasing though.

“Right, I can tell from the number of new grays you’re sporting.”

Ahsoka’s mouth fell open in shock and laughter while Anakin snickered. Obi-Wan simply glared back, but Seraphine knew there was a small smile threatening to take over.

“It’s nice to know you haven’t lost your sense of humor while you were gone,” he countered.

“Never,” she smirked. Obi-Wan shook his head at her.

“Now, you two can drop your bags off in your rooms, but I’m afraid we’ll have to go straight into the briefing after. The Council is waiting, and you’ll be introduced to your clone divisions.”

Anakin and Ahsoka announced they’d be going ahead while Obi-Wan led the remaining duo to the main sleeping quarters. Seraphine was surprised to see that they had decided to give her old room back, with Cordé being given the one right across.

Seraphine peered into the old room, not sure what to expect. The quaint space she had spent almost her entire life in was void of any artifacts or trinkets that once branded it her own, but strangely still felt like home.

Some things never change.

They dropped off their things and made their way towards the briefing rooms.

#literally so nervous bc i've never posted my writing before but HERE WE GO #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x oc #obi wan kenobi fic #star wars #star wars oc #my oc #seraphine kharis #star wars fic #certaindark writing #my writing #always holding on to stars #star wars fanfiction

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tarteausuga · 4 years ago

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finally...

Chanyeol x reader; fluff, angst, trust issues; mentions of ex! Johnny

Your first real love was the one who hurt you the most. He was the one who opened up the iron gates of your heart and allowed you to be vulnerable in safety. He was the first boy who ever made you feel like you weren't the ugly duckling that all the other boys teased you for being. He held your hand through the darkest days but that was a dangerous power to give someone. To trust someone again seemed like a terrible feat that you didn't want to consider again.

It's been almost 10 years since you gave your heart to someone and they ran away with it, leaving you feeling empty. But you felt that you were recovering and in a much better place now after finding comfort in being alone. You could be happy with yourself and that's something you never thought you had to be but it was what you needed all along.

After strings of short term relationships that never seemed to fulfill you in ways that you wanted. After countless attempts at falling in love and opening yourself up, nothing seemed to feel as right as this moment where you are perfectly content with yourself. Despite this revelation, you still longed to share a life with someone though it was less a need to fill an empty space but a yearning to give your love to another person.

Things were slow with Chanyeol and you made sure of that. He had this fire inside him that you could feel which you both loved and feared. It made him incredibly affectionate with you but for some reason, you didn't want to let him in all at once, not yet.

Flashbacks of that first love you had would arise at times and cause you to push Chanyeol away. You wondered if you were still in love with Johnny despite being at peace with what happened.

Looking back, it was an innocent high school love but it felt more than that to you at the time. The feelings just seemed more complex than a simple young love but you figured that was just because he was the first boy to ever give you the time of day. If you're over him, why does it still hurt so bad to think about him? Why did you scroll over posts your friends make with him in a panic? Why do you get anxious over running into him when you go home to visit your old neighbourhood?

"You're lost in orbit again baby." Chanyeol said as the two of you laid on the floor of your living room. It was surprisingly comfortable and it was better than trying to fit your bodies on your tiny little sofa.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" You reply quietly. Your mind had wandered off again as you tried not to think about when Chanyeol would break up with you like everyone else before him has.

"I was just wondering what you wanted to do for dinner later." He chuckled as he drew circles into your arm with his thumb. "What are you thinking about?"

It's been 3 months with Chanyeol though you knew each other through acquaintances for a few extra months before you started dating. He always seemed to be on the same wavelength as you. Despite always conveying how much he wanted to be with you, he respected your need for space to take things slow. You adored that.

"Same as yesterday?" You said with a crooked smile.

"You're not tired of that?" He laughed.

"No, are you?"

"Not yet." He smiled as he pulled out his phone to make the order. "I'm glad you're weird like me and don't mind eating the same thing everyday."

"You're weird." You give him a peck on the cheek.

He didn't bring you down to Earth, he explored space with you.

---

Hey, I came across the song again and I thought of you. I hope you're doing well.

An audible gasp escaped your lips when you opened that message. It was a cover of one of your favourite songs. One that you would always play in Johnny's car when he gave you control of the stereo. The one the two of you would sing at the top of your lungs during those late night drives that you would both sneak out of the house for on school nights.

"Is everything okay?" Your coworker asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just forgot to do something." You smiled weakly at her. She shrugged and turned back to her computer as you tried to figure out what to respond with.

Do you tell Chanyeol? No, he's at work and he wouldn't really care. But he is the jealous type so he would get really upset. You've told him about Johnny but you always had to emphasize that you're over Johnny. But are you? But you feel like you're starting to really fall in love with Chanyeol.

You can't tell him. It would ruin everything.

---

"Something is bothering you, what's up?" Chanyeol says the moment he has his arms around you.

"What are you talking about?" You laugh nervously. You pull away from his embrace but he catches your wrists and turns you around. He's staring at you so intently like he always did when he was trying to read you. It was like his way of staring straight into your soul and opening you up whether you wanted to or not.

"What's wrong?" He asked again but his tone reminded you so much of Johnny when he asked you the same question. There was that underlying feeling of actually wanting to know what's bothering you. It wasn't trying to fix you or solve everything for you, it was an attempt to get you to share what was going on in your mind.

Tears welled up as everything came colliding into your mind. The guilt you feel for thinking of Johnny in this personal moment. The confusion of not knowing why he had suddenly been the occupant of your mind lately. The secondary guilt of not being able to reciprocate how Chanyeol felt about you. But most importantly, the realization that you were afraid of being vulnerable with someone again. The tears were overwhelming and they started to fall down your face.

Chanyeol pulled you against his chest as sobs found their way out of your lungs. He held you there silently as he rubbed his hands up and down your back, reminding you that he was there for you.

"I'm scared." You finally hiccuped when the crying subsided. Chanyeol had transported you to the sofa after your knees gave out from the painful sobbing, where he had you cradled in his lap.

"What are you scared of?" He said gently.

"I don't want to hurt you." You mumble.

"Why would you hurt me?"

"I hurt everyone around me. It's just what I do. I hurt people then they leave and I'm left all alone." You whine. "But I'm starting to feel things for you and you're so good to me I don't want to hurt you."

"Hey hey," he soothed you. "You're safe." Was all he said but that's all you need to hear. You're vulnerable but you're safe.

***

#exo scenarios #exo scenario #exo fluff #exo angst #chanyeol scenario #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol angst #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios

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bennybentacles · 4 years ago

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TUActober 2020: day 4- prophet

(prompt by @totallyevan )

i struggled so much with this and i hope yall know i reworte this like seven times bc i hate what i was writing.

|...|

it started with him just wanting to tell one person how the world ended. he just spoke to his savior of how the world got swallowed by the scorching heat and it quickly snowballed into something so big that it began to terrify him

it started with small questions, "what was the future like?" and he would speak of its color and tunes and the wonderful monuments that have been built, talking about it as if he is not sure if they really existed because the people could not know he's from the past. hes pretty sure it was said on back to the future or hot tub time machine.

then people started flocking in, asking for more thing like, "how would i change the world?" and Klaus would be left wondering on how could somebody change the world.

of course there are butterfly effects and paradoxes. he knows everything should stay the same but he also knows he already changed the timeline by stepping foot on it, what's one advice to just nudge the people to the right direction. "let the spirit come on through you" he had said

he knows he should've though of it better, should've made a huge speech about the wrong things he had seen but he's nothing more than a mortal who could only think of the present and nothing else. and can you blame him when my chemical romance wrote some good ass lyrics and it would be a crime to not spread their wise words in the sixties

the people brought his words well. too well, he might say even. people began praising him and his wise words, and at first he lived for every attention he got but it got too constricting, too much and he wants it to stop, just stop.

"did you see how the world end?" people began asking him and he wanted to sit down and tell them the tales of the end of the world. of how his stupid family brought the world to its knees amd burnt it alive. he wanted to scream that it was their fault why the world collapsed and why his brother was trapped in the wasteland for decade.

but he did not. instead he said something else. "the world, It goes, all troubles on a burning pile" ans he grins sharp at that.

he is not wrong. but he also quoted a song and it does not make sense in any means but the people still bought it, still gasped in fear and he fears how long he could hide behind this facàde

turns out he could do it for a very long time. he expected to be thrown out in a week, and then a month, and then half a year but now two years in, he is still living a comfortable life

well, as comfortable as it could be with hundreds of people breathing down his neck. "share us your wisdom oh wise prophet" they begged and he winced.

that had became a problem of his too, these people treating him like a god amongst men and he does not want it yet he can't wash it of him. like how he could not wash the blood of his hands that he still sees from time to time

"Some people hope, Some people pay" he finds it is easier to quote songs that was made in the future, having the work cut for him. Klaus knows it's bad, and stupid, and he'd get caught by someone in a few years but he needed this.

he needs to survive. he needs to live. and he does not want to die so he smiles and quote famous songs and he smiles even if his heart yearns to be free from the burden he has

"how should we go through my boy?" he was asked one night, with him exhausted beyond what he thought was humanly acceptable and he smiles softly as he stared at the high ceiling before him.

"let the wind take us to our destination" it might be a song lyric or a book quote or maybe Klaus is getting better at spouting bullshits. he really does not know and he hopes it sounds smart enough that he would not get thrown out on the streets because it would suck and Klaus is not sure if he could survive living in the streets in the sixties. he would die in days

"great. i'll have the car prepared. we'll leave tomorrow" to where? he wanted to ask but he felt the sandman slowly grab at him and he could only nod as he slept.

Klaus quickly realized that maybe he should've asked where they were going because he could only panic as he saw where the hell he was the moment he woke.

at first it was just LA, then they went to Massachusetts. "the salem thing?" he remembered asking Ben in hushed whisper, eyes wide as he saw how his brother nodded in affirmation.

then they went to to Virginia, and Wisconsin and the next thing he knows he's on a cruise spouting up song lyrics to hundreds of strangers. " all we do is sit in silence, waiting for a sign" he remembers screaming, his previous point long forgotten yet people only nodded in understanding and Klaus felt like jumping off the ship because these people are in too deep.

Klaus knows that the only way he could escape is if he vanishes into thin air, maybe go back to his past? present? future? honestly time travel is messy and we don't fuck with terrorists

"you need to calm down Klaus" Ben had said at one point, when he had go as far as sneak alcohol into his room and he sobbed suddenly. "i don't want to do this anymore" he had admitted as he cried and he saw Ben take a seat in front of him

"you put yourself into this position in the first place" Klaus felt as if he was slapped in the face. "i did not have a choice!" he screamed, and he saw Ben's lips form into a sneer and he braced himself for the harsh words that his brother would say because this happened way too many times. it happened back in the motel while he is having his chest burned off and it would happen now. classic Ben move

"you had the choice! you just chose to go this path Klaus" the thing is Ben is right. he is right. Klaus really dug his own grave in this one, maybe even carved out his own headstone with the way things are going bad so fast. "fuck you Ben" he managed to hiss out before he threw the bottle of vodka

he is going to leave. he hated this life, hated having people follow him behind like a bunch of ducklings. ugly blue ducklings.

he wanted peace, he wanted freedom, he wanted it now. it's been three years since he got dropped from the sky in a flash of blue ans Klaus wanted the peace once more.

so he ran. a prayer circle, he had said. it was a stupid plan. a rough plan. he did all of that with no help from Ben because Ben is an asshole and horses are loose in the hospital or whatever. they are both annoying and Klaus wanted to leave

so he did. he smiled as he gestured up, whistle leaving his lips and he quickly escaped, leaving his followers behind. still whispering a tune that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Klaus ran, leaving behind hundred of people who believed in him, listened to him spouting out lyrics that only he and Ben knew and had worshipped the ground he walked in. the experience was good while it lasted. but he's had enough. what he really wanted was back in Texas and he's about to go to him.

#the umbrella academy #tuactober 2020 #tuactober #klaus hargreeves #tua klaus #the idea of klaus quoting mcr is so hilarious to me

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bleufrost · 5 years ago

Text

Crawl Home to Her || A Ben Hanscom Series

Chapter Four: Not a Stranger

a/n: aaand we're back! let's see if I can get y'all back into this like im getting myself back into writing it (:

thank you all for being patient with me, if youre still here reading I love you so much.

masterlist

summary

rating: m for graphic depictions of violence, gore, and adult themes

The few feet between Ali and Ben feel like miles as her feet push her forward. Ali was refusing to bother with words, knowing exactly who this man was and how desperately she had waited for him all these years. His arms part instinctively, holding her to his chest as if it were the safest place in the universe and he was determined to protect her. Although years were spent apart, the feeling of being strangers was lost on both Ali and Ben; instead being replaced by the knowledge that they had not only grown up together, but had also been a saving grace for each other.

Ali’s breathing becomes unsteady as she feels Ben’s hand slide up to her neck. She isn’t afraid of him by any means, but the realization that somewhere in her life she forgot about him makes her uneasy; guilty in more ways than one. Tears spring to her eyes and a panic she has not felt since childhood comes upon her suddenly, causing Ben to pull back and look her over quickly in search of the cause of her distress.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I know I look different, but I swear I’m not a stranger.” Ben laughs nervously, trying to lighten the mood while also allowing her a moment to breathe. His hands never leave her, part of him unwilling in the event that she might slip away from him once more.

“I tried so hard for so long to remember you, but I never could. Ben, I forgot about you and I know that sounds awful but I swear I never meant to. You were always there, right at the edge of my mind, but I could never reach you. I’m so sorry.” Her voice shakes as she speaks and Ben has the overpowering need to hold her again and reassure her that everything was perfectly okay. So, that’s exactly what he does.

His thumbs brush across her cheeks, wiping away the tears that slipped past her eyes. “It’s not your fault, Ali. I’m sure Mike will explain everything, but from what I heard you aren’t the only one who’s had some missing pieces from their memory. It’s okay, we can catch up and everything will feel like we never spent a second apart.” Her breathing is still heavy, but a small smile finds its way upon her lips. He reciprocates and there is nothing he wants more than to kiss her in that moment, but he knows that he can't. She just admitted that she had forgotten everything for the longest time, throwing something like that on her now when she was just starting to get her life back was unfair and selfish. He had waited years, a little longer would be no problem at all.

“You ready to go in?” His voice was calm and patient, letting her know that she was allowed to take as much time as she needs. She was ready now though, something deep within her telling her that she could do anything now that the piece she was missing had been found. The pair begin to walk closer to the entrance, taking comfort in the close proximity of their bodies.

Standing right in front of the door was someone that they both had missed severely; even if Ali just now was remembering that she did. Ben reaches down, giving a reassuring squeeze to her hand and smiling toward the girl that had been his first official crush. “Is there a password or something?” Ali laughs beside him, Ben really was proving himself to be the master of throwing back phrases at people. It just further solidified what Ali already knew: they all meant something extraordinary to each other.

Recognition does not dawn on Beverly Marsh’s face as quickly as it did Ali’s. She turns and stares for a moment. “I’m sorry?” The wrapper crinkles in Ali’s hand as she tears it off and slowly pops the candy into her mouth. Beverly watches her and slowly, her face begins to change with a sense of recollection.

“New Kid?” His voice is hopeful as he says the nickname aloud for the first time in forever. The redhead’s eyes scan over Ali and Ben a little longer as the gears work in her head. “Ali? Ben?” Ali smiles excitedly and Ben lets out a relieved puff of air. While she nods her head, smile still beaming back at Beverly, Ben lifts his arm gently in an attempt to welcome Beverly into a hug. Bev comes forward, wrapping her arms around the both of them quickly and laughing.

“Oh my god!” The three stand there for a while, hugging in a way that feels familiar to each of them. Ali never enjoyed being touched by other people, she shied away from hugs and general contact because it always felt so wrong to her. This though, felt right. She felt comfortable for the first time in as far back as her still-hazy memory could go.

“it's been so long.” When Ben says this, it sounds less like a sad regret and more like a happy reassurance. It had been so long, but the wait was over at last.

"You guys look great!" Seperating, the trio find the source of the voice in the form of who could only be Richie Tozier. He looks down at himself and scoffs. “What the fuck happened to me?”

Once more, Ali finds herself closing the distance between herself and her old friend. Images flash before her eyes, showing her of a time when her and Richie would get into arguments, sometimes heated, that would always end in rolling eyes and smiles. He had kept her on her toes as a kid, but sometimes things like that only prove to strengthen the bond you have with someone.

Part of Ali was expecting to see someone else walk up with Richie; she doesn’t know why but the distinct recollection of his lovestruck face brings itself to the forefront of her mind and she is almost disappointed to find him alone.

“Hey Trashmouth!” They all laugh while Ali and Richie hug. The nickname definitely came easy to remember. “Are you fucking serious? I escape this shit for years just to come back and immediately get fucking ridiculed. That’s unreal, Ugly Duckling.” Ali pulls back from the hug and stares at him with shock on her face. Now that was a name she hadn’t heard in forever.

Ben almost intervenes, afraid that maybe Ali won’t receive the banter as such. It takes a moment, but the shock slowly slides into amusement. She shoves his shoulder and hugs him again; she really had missed them all.

The rest of them greet each other with warm smiles, Beverly and Ben also fall victim to Richie’s incessant need to say whatever’s on his mind, and soon it is time to go in.

With shaky hands, Ali follows the group to the entrance of the brightly lit restaurant. She falls behind a bit, trying to hide behind the rest of them as Richie continues to lighten the mood with his voice. It takes only a second for Ben to turn and notice how quiet she has gotten, and in that same second he halts his walking, waits for her to catch up, and falls into step alongside her.

Their shoulders bump as they walk and Ali finds the feeling of warmth radiating from his open palm to be immensely more inviting than the illuminated building. His knuckles graze hers gently, as though he is calling her toward him in a way. She takes the invitation as soon as he is willing to give it, slowly sliding her hand into his larger one.

Ben doesn’t look down when he feels her soft hand find his own. He simply takes it and wraps his fingers in hers, driving away the cold of her palm with the comforting heat of his body. The nervous trembling doesn’t stop, but it does subside and that is more than Ben could ever ask for.

Finally looking down, Ben catches the twinkling lights reflecting in Ali’s eyes. Smiling felt so foreign to him until today, and he feels his eyes come alight for what very well may be the thousandth time since arriving. Her own mouth curves up into the smallest of smiles as she notices him staring, and Ben can’t help but think it is the most beautiful sight he has ever seen.

Tags (ive been gone a while so i understand if youd like to be taken off, just message me): @stanley-barbs @bvrningdesires @floralpiper @thesmittenkitkat @daisysinadarkmedow @auggusst @isabellathedreamer @makbubblefandom @1988-fiend @alexther11 @goldenmoonbeam

let me know if you want to be added to the list!

a/n: as always, i greatly appreciate every read, like, reblog, and comment so much! feedback is always happily welcome and i hope you guys liked this chapter.

this is a side blog so i cant respond to comments (although i love to read them!!) but if yall ever wanna talk just shoot me an ask or message me! I love talking to yall <3

coming up...this meeting of the losers club has officially begun.

#ben hanscom x reader #it chapter 2 x reader #it chapter two x reader #it chapter two #it chapter one #it 2019 #it 2017 #ben hanscom #ben hanscom fanfic #richie tozier #beverly marsh #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #eddie kaspbrak #stanley uris #Jay Ryan #jay ryan fanfic #bleufrost.fic #crawl home to her

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the-melting-world · 4 years ago

Text

Faust is actually a baby child

This is probably the most adorable request I’ve gotten so far. Kips actually has a familiar of her own! A little purple lemur named Taro! Let’s see what happens when we add some sibling rivalry to the mix.

Warnings: purple sweeties, adorable parents, and hella fluff 💖

~ 1700 words

***

You and Asra have just moved in together. You are both excited because now you could live as one big happy magical family with your familiars.

Or so you thought.

Up to this point, Faust has gotten along great with your purple pygmy lemur, Taro. It’s like they have their own little language. In the past, whenever Asra would come over to visit or vice versa, your familiars made it their priority to seek each other out without even paying a proper greeting to you or Asra.

You never expected anything to go wrong between them once you and Asra had made things official and moved into your very own condo. Having spent the previous day moving all of your possessions and combining your separate businesses to this new space, you were still a little tired from it the following morning.

But the two of you were determined to establish some kind of family routine with your familiars. So after you closed down the shop for the day, you could start spending time with the two little lavender joys of your life.

“Faust! Taro! Are you ready for your bath?”

Asra uses the fire salamander to heat a portable tub while you round up the girls. You come into the room with Faust curled comfortably about your shoulders and Taro cradled in your arms. Both of them chortle their usual melody of curious noises. The tub, filled nearly to the brim with heated water, sits atop the wooden table in the common area. It’s large enough for you and Asra to take your place at either ends.

You decide to swap familiars so they can spend more time becoming comfortable with you. Asra gives you patient instructions on the best way to bathe Faust. You do the same for Taro. For a while, things go smoothly. The snake and the lemur enjoy getting lathered in the homemade soap that you and Asra made from scratch. The scent of vanilla, goat milk, and thyme waft up from the bubbling tub.

Not only were the girls liking this so far, but you and Asra could both agree that this was therapeutic and relaxing, especially after a long day of work. Even as Faust wraps her slippery tail around your wrist and squeezes, you could feel the stress of the day dissolve from your shoulders.

You look up to see Asra wearing a serene gaze as he glances up from gently scrubbing Taro. When he catches your eye, he smiles subtly and says, “Hey Taro? When’s the last time I told you that you were simply the cutest in all of Vesuvia?” Despite his words, he doesn’t break eye contact with you.

You smile back knowingly. Taro chitters as if the compliment truly is for her.

Faust, on the other hand, hisses. It’s soft at first. You think that maybe you got soap in her eye, so you go to rinse her off. But your eyes are still locked with Asra’s.

Teasingly, you say, “Taro can appreciate that. But I think Faust needs to know that she is in fact the most enchanting creature from here to the shores of Nevivon. I honestly don’t know what Vesuvia would do without her.”

Faust squeezes your arm. Taro gives a wounded mewl.

From behind his snowy bangs, Asra blushes and blinks incredulously. “Kipling, you really think so?”

Shyly, you wink. “From the first moment I met you – ah, I mean her – I thought so.”

Asra starts to break out in a genuine smile, but it’s interrupted by an eruption of soapy water as Faust and Taro lunge at each other.

At first you and Asra are momentarily shocked by the behavior of your familiars. It takes a few seconds before you realize that they not are not merely wrestling. They’re actually fighting!

“Taro – no!” You shriek.

Asra roars over you, “Faust, stop! That is not okay!”

The two of you try to rein in your familiars, knocking over the tub in the process. By the time you are able to pry them off of each other, there’s water everywhere and the two of you are covered in bruises and scratches.

Faust slithers away and you let go of a squirming Taro. She leaps into the makeshift canopy of potted plants hanging from the ceiling and scurries off.

Once you and Asra catch your breaths, you laugh and start cleaning up the mess. Afterwards, you tend to each other’s minor wounds.

“I wonder what got into them,” Asra whispers as you try to apply some balm to a cut on his lower lip.

“Hold still,” you say, trying to make sure all of the cut is sealed over with the aloe-infused salve. You don’t miss the way all of his focus narrows in on you and how his lip curves upward as you slow down the sweep of your index finger.

“There,” you sigh as you lean back. It doesn’t come as a surprise when Asra leans with you and manages to steal a quick, electric kiss before you can get away.

Reluctantly, you press your hand against his chest and chuckle, “Not so fast. Give the cut a little time to close over first.”

He leans back, smiling. Then his sly features dissolve into something more thoughtful.

“I’m still a little worried about Faust and Taro. Do you think maybe we should try again?”

“Yes,” you agree. “Let’s try reading to them to sleep tonight.”

It’s difficult for the both of you to find Taro and Faust before bed. This time you choose to hold onto your own familiars. You both can tell by their body language and the way they were shooting hisses and threatening glares at the other that they had not patched things up.

Still, you tried to curl up on the couch as a family with you and Asra in the middle and the familiars tucked in the crooks of your elbows.

“Alright, girls. What should we read?”

You already had a selection of fairy tales and classic children’s stories spread out on the coffee table. Taro hops up and down in excitement while Faust bobs her head from side to side like a charmed cobra.

Spider!

Duck!

You pick up Taro’s choice – the little book of folk tales from the island where you were both born. On it was a depiction of Anansi the Spider, a trickster god of sorts.

“Oh. Good choice, Taro.”

Meanwhile, Asra brushes his fingers over The Ugly Duckling and says, “Looks like this is the one Faust wants to read.”

You and him smile at each other.

“Awesome,” you say. “We’ll read them both.”

That’s when Taro starts to jump up and down again, this time with more gusto and screeching.

You laugh nervously. “Okay, girl. Calm down. We’ll read the Anansi story first.”

Suddenly, Faust heaves herself onto the coffee table and shuffles the book of folktales onto the floor.

Duck first!

Asra growls, “Faust, that’s enough. We’re going to read both stories, okay?”

But by this point, the familiars were at it again, chasing each other around the coffee table like they were both possessed.

You and Asra were back at it, trying to calm them down and break them up. This time you manage to do it without suffering so much damage, but you have to go to bed holding onto the bad moods of your familiars.

The next day, you and Asra are determined to smooth things over between Faust and Taro. So Asra comes up with a brilliant idea.

“Let’s bake some cupcakes. That way they can engage in teamwork and we get to spoil them when it’s all done.”

You nod your head. “Asra, that’s a great idea! Mostly because . . . cupcakes.” you say with a helpless shrug.

While the four of you are preparing the batter, you notice that there’s a little tension between Faust and Taro, but they are not at each other’s throats. Mostly, they avoid each other, choosing to focus on the interesting things you and Asra are doing to make the gooey, yummy substance that they get to taste.

Once you get the cupcakes in the oven, you return to the bowl of leftover batter and start to lick up the remains. Faust and Taro seem to be warming up to each other, so you finally feel comfortable with taking your attention off of them for a few moments.

It’s not long before you and Asra are giggling, gazing dreamily into each other’s eyes, and letting the other lick the cake batter off your fingers. Your antics lead to stumbling around the corner to the dark incense-soaked room where Asra does his readings.

Afterwards, you return to the kitchen. Your clothes hang crooked on your frames and your hair is awry, but you’re both wearing happy, silly grins.

However, those grins vanish once you see that not only have your familiars disappeared, but so has all of the baking equipment and ingredients.

It wasn’t uncommon for Faust and Taro to take off and spend time by themselves, but you and Asra had no idea if they left on good terms or if they are off fighting somewhere else.

Just to be sure, you split up and look for them. You check all the rooms, but they’re nowhere to be found.

Asra suggests, “What about out back where you keep your starter plants?”

You both rush outside and break out in sighs of relief when you find Taro and Faust curled up together in the portable tub from yesterday. They are also completely covered in egg yolk and flour.

You and Asra break out into simultaneous laughter. Surprisingly, it doesn’t wake the girls.

“They were trying to make their own cupcakes!” Asra says.

You get a closer look. “Actually, I think they just wanted to replicate the batter. Looks like they managed it and ate so much, it knocked them out.”

Asra snakes his arm around your waist and tugs you against him.

“Hm. More cupcakes for us then.”

Faust and Taro stay snuggled up and keep on snoozing while Asra leads you back inside the shop that smells of warm dough and sweet vanilla.

#kipling the apprentice #asra #asra alnazar #asra the magician #asra fluff #fluffy asks #my asks #my requests #asra fanfic #the arcana fanfic #the arcana fanfiction #the arcana #faust #faust babe #asra babe #taro babe #the arcana fluff #asra x kipling

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a-whole-cosmo · 5 years ago

Text

First joined fic, Trans Louie

Blue is @midnight-fries

Green is @wxrm-pxddxng

Louie was nervous, his Uncle was really protective and he, from his inquieries, only knows Donald isn't against the rainbow community but never dared to ask "what if it was me"

He enters the room, tugging on his hoodie, preparing a backup plan for what if. what if's, always running through his mind.

A thousand miles per second. But he had to do this, he couldn't live to hide anymore. He brought his arm up, reassuring himself. It's fine, you rehearsed this before. To say he was nervous would be an understatement, Uncle Donald would be the first person he would be coming out to. He took a deep breath. He knocked.

"Uncle Donald? Can I come in?" He gulped. "I.. I gotta tell you something." He fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, waiting for his Uncle's green lights to enter.

Uncle Donald didn't respond, so maybe he didn't hear him?

"It's... It's just me. Good old Ly... You already know who."

Louie introduced himself shortly, hoping it was enough for his Uncle to recognize who he was. He needed to buy time.

"It's open. "

Donald replied. It was surprising how Louie could understand his voice, but he had years of listening to it so he and his siblings made it work. The green coded triplet walked into the room. Shorter steps than usual, but also slower.

The more time he took to get there, the more time he had to rehearse in his mind.

'Uncle Donald, I'm trans. This means that I experience a thing called gender dysphoria. It's probably hard to understand, but I trust you and basically, I want to be referred by Louie and he/him pronouns, please.'

He had this little speech prepared to the point he had written it down in his room multiple times until it was engraved in his mind.

Wait, did he throw that note away?

He didn't have time to think of that now as he was finally near Donald.

Donald already knew who it was, he just needed to buy himself some time.

Bills were stacking up, he was trying to find a way to pay them before owing people.

He didn't want Louie, out of them all, to find any, so he hid them, any trace of dept.

He had the time to stuff them all in a drawer before his kid came in.

Now, he had an idea as to what the youngest wanted to talk about, he saw how uncomfortable, well until he knew what the green one identified as, they got when they were addressed by feminine names or even their nickname.

Once he saw the way they were heading towards him, he knew he was right, he remembered his thoughts on the day he had to talk to his Uncle about it.

"Hi Sweetheart, take a seat." He said, patting the free space next to him in the hammock in case they didn't understand his vocal instructions. Looking up, Louie found himself shaking. He obliged his uncle's request with his help.

He found that he could barely breath, he wad there too soon, steps not short enough, his mind was blanked out from all he previously wanted to say, all that was there was an image of his Uncle hating him, he couldn't picture that but.. it was a possibility, he wanted to run, why did he think this was a good idea? It probably wasn't even true, did he really have to tell him?

His Uncle's voice broke through his thoughts, he felt himself being lifted and placed in a warm, parental embrace, it was comforting, he didn't know how he could live without it.

"Deep breaths honey, it's gonna be fine, you can tell me anything." His uncle whispered words of reassurance in his ears.

"You know there would be nothing you could say that could make me hate you, love." Louie didn't realize his eyes were shut until he opened them, looking directly into the honest eyes of his Uncle.

"I'm here to support you"

That was all Louie needed to hear. Maybe it was too much for the little duckling.

"I ju... just... justasecond"

Louie needed to collect his thoughts and stop himself from crying. A million scenarios of him getting kicked out or misgendered on purpose raced through his mind, even if the words of support he heard were comforting. The anxiety was overwhelming him.

Donald kept the embrace, like a father hugging his son for a while. Louie knew it was too late to turn back now. He just has to rip it off, like a bandaid.

"I'm... " "I.. " bandaid

"I'm a trans guy and please stop using my deadname!"

Louie blurted, quick and unexpected. He then put a hand over his mouth, and let out a muffled sob.

Donald was not surprised, but he was not expecting th-him to blurt it out like that, he couldn't blame him though, it was stressful to come out to somebody you love.

So many possibilities, good, bad, all the scenarios his kid.. his nephew had probably swarming through his head-His kid probably took his silence as punishment as he started rambling,

"Wait do you know what a transgender person is? Wait-no forget everything I said actually this was a bad idea-" "Honey, breath for a second, okay?" Donald cut him off. He put a hand on his head, ruffling his hair gently, his nephew, who he had to ask about his preferred name too, pushed his hand away out of instinct. Donald brought him in again, he knew he needed physical comfort when he was nervous, hugs, cuddles, even a single hand on his shoulder would help calming him down.

"I know what a transgender person is, and considering how accepting she was when I came out, I know your mother would be proud of you... I know I am." Donald felt him clutching his shirt, a wet stain forming where the youngest triplet's face was. Donald felt him lifting his face to look at him,

"when-when you? Oh my god, no way-" Donald chuckled, "What would you like me to call you by?"

"Louie!" Well, he must've thought about that a lot seeing how immediate his answer was.

"Well, Louie, I told you, there's nothing that you could say, do or be that would make me hate you, I'm so proud of you, love." He shifted his fingers through Louie's hair, bringing his thoughts into less of a spiral.

Louie smiled brightly, nearly not believing this turned out so well, he even knew something his siblings didn't know! Who woulda thought Uncle Donald was like him?

"Thank you, Da-Uncle- Uncle Donald, Thank you so much." He sniffled, God why did he have to be so emotional, he didn't know why it made him feel better when he saw his uncle tearing up as well.

"No problem, Louie..."

Honestly, Louie wanted to stay there for a while. The green nephew-, it felt so relieving to call himself that now, felt so nice and comfortable after he let that out.

That didn't match his expression though. He was sniffing and crying and it looked ugly but he didn't feel ugly and that was what was important to him.

He felt safe and in the weirdest way free. Free from something that had been building up for not even he remembers how long.

He still remembered the day he discovered the meaning of trans. He was on his phone as always, using it for information for once instead of doing anything else he usually did. That's when he came across the LGBT community. He had to admit for a while before he came out to himself he identified as genderfluid or non-binary, a form of repression for him, but not everyone uses it to repress.

For him it definitely was.

But that didn't feel right. The name he chose as non-binary stuck, but the pronouns just felt off to him, even though he wants to get used to them because they felt better than she.

Finally after debating and questioning his sexuality for months because, if he really was a boy why we're boys so cute and boys aren't supposed to love boys he heard from a teacher, which he learned was called a homophobe.

He finally figured it out.

And he was happy with the result.

Recalling the memory of when he stopped feeling wrong helped Louie calm himself down.

The last squeeze of his uncle and he released him.

"Thank.. Thank you, Uncle Donald.." Louie couldn't thank him enough, never. He hopped off of the hammock and Donald did the same. The bills will have to wait a bit longer.

"So, I guess this means that I have three nephews now?"

Donald asked in a fond voice, making his son nephew smile in return. Only for it to falter, because as soon as he opened the door he was greeted by his siblings, who were... smiling?

They both immediately tackled him in a hug, the three of them rolling on the ground for a bit. All of them erupted into a fit of laughter. "I have a brother!"

Dewey said in a joking manner, just trying to say something to signify that he was fine with it.

"Aww... My sweet nephews..."

Donald said fondly, but two of them didn't seem to find it that appealing to be called that.

The blue and the red one looked at him.

"Not exactly" "About that..."

They said, at the same time, different things, but with the same intention.

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nightowlfandom · 5 years ago

Text

Yandere! Jeon Jungkook Imagine- Because it’s fun...

REQUEST FROM PROMPT LIST- RIGHT HERE!

Yandere boys are my favorite...next to tsundere boys...but like Yandere boys are my absolute jam...Also I love that you’ve selected prompts I never used before, or at least haven’t used in a long time! In terms of smut?...I don’t know how much I’ll include but we shall see.

61- No! What are you afraid of?!? Why is it so hard to believe that someone like me could have feelings for you?!?!

75-I bully you because it’s fun, no other reason really.

88- So You didn’t think I’d catch you looking at another guy right in front of me!?!

Okay I’d like to point out that “yandere” will mean that there is mentions of violence, so be aware. Point two, to the kind lad who may stumble across this and jump into my ask box to tell me “how dare you write this, Jungkook would never act this way.” please understand that the majority of my writings are AU based, which means Alternate Universe, which means I know this isn’t how he acts which means shut up and let people enjoy they’re masochistic ways...mkay? With that being said, I know yandere boys are really hit or miss with some people but personally i love them, so I’m going to write them....Now that we have that out of the way...I’m gonna keep the violence to a minimum, and the super violent parts will NOT be directed towards the reader.

Also if you don’t exclusively state that you want smut then I will imply it , but it won’t actually be written in unless the prompt you’ve selected obviously mentions something fucc. I’m gonna assume violent means sexy shit...soooooo ya

Leggo!.

...

“Ouch!” you jumped as Jungkook flicked your arm. You glared at the dark haired male next to you, silently cursing him to hell under your breath. You looked back down at your book. You felt it again, this time harder.

You ignored it, but rubbed your arm trying to ease the pain. You tried to read the same sentence over again, but to no avail you felt another flick.

“What the fuck do you want?!” you whipped around and saw the bane of your existence, Jungkook with a shit eating smirk on his face.

“Oh, is something wrong, ugly duckling?” he asked in a baby voice. You almost growled at that stupid nickname you were granted. You ignored him, trying to focus on yet the exact same sentence when you were flicked again.

“Jungkook leave Y/N alone.” Seokjin warned, who had been across to him.

“What, Ugly Duckling doesn’t mind!” Jungkook laughed aloud.

“Yes, I fucking do.” you snapped, looking in his direction. “You keep doing that and it hurts!”

“Oh I’m sorry ugly duckling, are you about to cry?” he laughed. Ironically you wanted to, but now that he mentioned it you sure as hell weren’t going to now.

You let out a dramatic exhale and stared back down at your book. Of course it didn’t help that you all were at a public restaurant and getting into a fight with him wouldn’t do well except get you all kicked out. You shut your book and sighed loudly, you had finished eating anyways and didn’t want to drink like the other boys had. If anything you wanted to go home.

“Hey you guys, I’m gonna turn in, you guys enjoy the rest of your night.” you decided. You turned towards Jungkook, who was your only obstacle of being able to get up. “Move.”

“Hm? I’m sorry ugly, duckling I don’t believe I heard you.” Jungkook said sweetly.

“I want to get out, so I can go home...and you’re in my way.” You repeated, rolling your eyes. “So could you move?” you dug your nails into the spine of your book.

“Hm...only if you do something for me first.” he winked.

“Just what the hell might that be?” you raised an eyebrow.

“You stop acting like you aren’t in love with me...and give your oppa a kiss.” he said, making you choke on the oxygen around you.

“Excuse me?!” you were totally taken aback. You voice grabbed the attention of everyone else sitting at the table. “Who do you think you are!”

“I think I’m Jeon Jungkook...and I asked you to do something.” he smirked. “Tick Tock, Ugly Duckling.”

“Jungkook that’s enough. You’re starting to annoy us now.” Namjoon chimed in. You crossed your arms, waiting for Jungkook to get up so you could get out of the booth.

“Hm...fine.” he got up which allowed you to be free.

“Finall-” you were taken aback when you felt Jungkook grab your hand and spin you around. The next thing you knew, Jungkook’s face was right in yours.

“Don’t I get a thank you?” his voice had dropped several octaves.

“You can get a screw you!” you freed yourself from his grasp. “Don’t you ever in your life touch me.”

“Oh Y/N when will you learn, you know deep down you want me.” he sighed, shaking his head. “Always in denial.”

“Just leave me alone.” You began to walk past him, only for him to stick his leg out and cause you to trip. You landed on the floor with a thud and all you could hear was Jungkook’s laughter echoing throughout the restaurant. Luckily not a lot of people were staring, but enough people saw for you to want to curl up and die. You stumbled to your feet, looking at Jungkook again.

“Is something wrong, Ugly Duckling?” he tilted his head to the side. Without another word, you slowly gathered your composure, and turned your back away from him.

You breathed in deeply just as a waiter was about to pass by.

“May I borrow this?” you pointed to the water pitcher on his tray.

“Oh sure! Did you want more wat-” before he could answer, you have grabbed it. You turned back to face Jungkook.

“As a matter of fact Jungkook, something is very wrong...I’m afraid that you might need a change of clothes after I’m done with you.” you put on the most pleasant smile you could. Before he could reply you had tipped the entire picture of water over his head.

“YAH!!!” he suddenly shouted, this time grabbing everyone’s attention. You put the pitcher on the table.

“As a matter of fact Jungkook, yes...I change my mind...everything is perfect.”you whipped around and walked out of the restaurant.

This was a common and constant thing. Ever since you met it was like making your life a living hell kept him alive. You were sick of it, but tonight was the last straw. You were infuriated, humiliated and...another word that ended in -ated

...

“Why hello there, Y/N.” a voice caused you to whip around. You were taken aback when you felt a hand go over your mouth and pull you into the nearest alley. You found yourself pushed up against the bricks. Jungkook was staring down at you. “Aw, Did I scare you ugly duckling?”

“What do you want Jungkook.” You sighed. “I see you found a good change of clothes.” you huffed.

“I bet you thought that was funny Ugly Duckling. I should punish you.” he smirked. He slammed his hand on the brick right next to your head. With a smirk on his face, he dipped his head into the crook of your neck.

“What are you- AAH!” You felt Jungkook bite you. Not a peck on the neck, not even leaving a hickey...not it was more than that. He bit down on your skin, holding the back of your head for anchoring. it was starting to hurt. “S-stop it!” you stomped on his foot, pushing him away from you. Your hand shot to your neck, shaking.

Jungkook’s smile never left his face. “Something wrong, Ugly Duckling.”

“Y-you stay away from me.” you warned, your hand still shaking. “Y-you just stay over there.”

“Oh, Ugly Duckling, I thought you would have enjoyed my little gift...but anyways I wanted to talk to you about something.” he said.

“Just what the hell could that be.” you snapped.

“Why don’t you finally give in and be mine already.” he walked close to you. You flattened yourself against the wall.

“Why would I ever-”

“Oh come on ugly duckling, I’m serious.” Jungkook shook his head. You paused for a minute, seeing raising an eyebrow. When he didn’t burst into laughter, or make another joke, you knew he actually was serious.

“Excuse me?” you said flatly. “You’re kidding right?”

“...Not really.” Jungkook shook his head. “I mean, it’s not my fault you’re too slow to realize I’m in love with you. I bully you because it’s fun...no other reason really.”

It was your turn to laugh. “You’re kidding me right?” you asked through a fit of laughter. “You must have fallen and hit your head.” you huffed.

“Ugly duckling, listen-”

“Stop. calling. me. that.” You cut him off. “No, you aren’t in love with me. Maybe you love to torment me and incase you haven’t noticed, those are two very different things.” you replied.

“Oh Ugly duckling, hasn’t anyone ever told you that if someone bullies you, it’s because they like you?” he took a few steps closer again.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you that statement is absolute bullshit? All you do is bully me, trip me, embarrass me, make me feel like shit so excuse me if I don’t give not one fuck nor one shit about your feelings towards me.” you replied, your voice wavering, you took one look at him then walked away back onto the main sidewalk. “And if it wasn’t made any clearer for you, FUCK YOU!” you shouted behind you.

Who the hell did he think he was! You let out a low sigh, growling under your breath about the audacity Jungkook had to say something like that to you. Had he gone mad?

....

“We have nothing to talk about!” you yelled, trying to slam the door behind you.

“So you didn’t think I’d catch you looking at some other guy right in front of me?!?!’ he barked, following you.

“This is MY apartment!” you spat back. “I don’t recall inviting you in!”

“Don’t avoid the subject Y/N! Who was that asshole!”

“First, he bumped into me! Second, why do you care!”

“Well you two SEEMED all buddy buddy! He has his hands all over you!” he snapped.

“HIS HAND WAS ON MY SHOULDER BECAUSE I FELL DOWN! Oh my gosh you snivelling idiot-”

“So are my feelings for you just some fucking laughable cause! Is is really hard to believe than maybe I could feel something for you!”

“Yes. IT. IS!” You began yelling. “You are really starting to piss me off with that!”

“Maybe the only reason it’s hard to believe I love is because no man has ever told you they loved you before!” He snapped. “You just throw the word aside because you don’t believe anyone would want to be with you!”

“...Excuse me?” you said, taking a step back. The words that has come out of Jungkook’s mouth...they hit you like a bullet.

“I’m the first man in your live that has ever told you they were in love with you, that they want to be with you because and you don’t believe me because I make fun of you. Is that it?!?!”

“Jungkook stop.” you said on the brink of tears. Not because you were scared, but because you had a sudden onslaught of emotions you couldn’t contain. You were now confused on your feelings for Jungkook. Even though you should have been! He was right, sure you’ve had boyfriends. However, they’ve never told you they...loved you...at least not verbally.

“No! What are you afraid of?!? Why is is so hard to believe someone like me could have feelings for you!?” he snapped.

“You wanna know what I’m afraid of?” you repeated his question. “All you do is bully me, torment me, make fun of me, call me names, make me feel bad all the time. I’ve seen you get into fights and nearly beat someone to death, So you know what I’m afraid of Jungkook? I’m afraid of YOU!”

Jungkook paused, he saw you were dead serious. “N-no...no you aren’t afraid of me. Y-you can’t be.” he said, mainly to himself. “Fuck!” he began running his hands through his hair. “You c-can’t b-”

“Well I am!” you said lowly. “...I don’t know what your capable of...I don’t want to know and I don’t wanna be the first thing you see when you get angry or upset because I don’t know what you’re gonna do.” you shook your head.

“You t-think I would...physically harm you?” Jungkook’s eyes went blank. “You think that I would...inflict pa-”

You hand grazed the bite mark on your neck. It had left a pretty bad bruise. It had began to stung, like you felt what Jungkook had in store for you.

In a swift motion, your back had found a wall.

Oh god not again!

Jungkook had your arms pinned above your head. His knee rested between your legs, seemingly holding you up.

“I love you god damnit! I love you more than anybody on this entire fucking planet.” he growled. “I could never...I would never-”

“Jungkook what are y-”

Jungkook buried his head into the crook of your neck. You felt something wet and hot trace up your neck and over your ear.

“W-what are you d-”

“You talk too much ugly duckling.” he said into your ear.

You emotions were clouded. All you could really focus on was the feeling of Jungkook’s knee against your clothed heat, that and the pounding in your brain.

“So I’ve been told.” you trailed off, not really knowing how to respond.

‘Hm...So shut up and let me show you how much I love you then...”

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