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yandere--stuck · 3 years ago

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Bad Blood - Yandere!Batman x Reader x Yandere!Joker

It wasn't just The Joker who had been watching you. And to a point, you were aware of that.

After all, that just came with the territory of being a minor celebrity within Gotham city. It wasn't often that those considered "famous" in Gotham didn't either have connections to the mafia or were locked up within Arkham or Blackgate.

As a reporter, you were watched on the news, on the streets - occasionally approached by fans, at parties where you mingled with your peers or made connections. All rather normal, really.

But, there were times when you could just feel it in your bones. You were being watched.

Like in the dark of night, the moon following you on your walk home. Alone. When the light from street lamps bathed everything in orange. The streets empty, the occasional car zooming by. It was then that you had felt watched.

It was understandable, something innate in humans, to feel frightened of the dark and the paranoia of being alone. Our imaginations run wild, and we trick ourselves into thinking that there's something out there with us. Someone following our every move, hiding just out of sight. But, no matter how many times you swore you were being watched, nothing ever happened. No muggings, no stalkers, no threats. When you got back to your apartment, unlocking and then re-locking all six of the locks on your door, you were able to let out a sigh of relief - it was just your own paranoia getting the best of you. You weren't being followed. You could relax, knowing that it was all in your head.

But, it wasn't.

Your paranoia wasn't unfounded. The shiver of your spine at the feeling of being watched wasn't your mind tricking itself. But, of course, even when you'd turn around to try and spot someone, something, you hadn't been able to see him. He had hid in the shadows and crouched atop rooftops, keeping watch over you.

He had done so every night. The moment you left the studio, to when you started your walk, and then headed home. He even stuck around to peer through your window, making sure you were truly safe. It wasn't something any of the Robins or Oracle knew about - it wasn't something they had to know. Well… It's not like he exactly lied about what he was doing during the alotted time of your walk home. But, he also didnt want to admit it, either - not that he thought what he was doing was wrong, but… He just didn't want anyone to be worried. To get the wrong idea. And it rarely took time out of his nightly patrol, just fifteen minutes. It wasn't a big deal.

He was just protecting you. That was just his job. He was supposed to protect the people of Gotham. To protect you. He just had a… Fixation, that's all. And when Bruce gets fixated on something, it's like pulling teeth for him to keep away.

Bruce met you like he does with most reporters - at a charity event. He had seen your stories on the news a few times beforehand, and braced himself for the usual song and dance - Vicki Vale trying to score something on the record for something much juicier and personal than the cause he was donating to, or perhaps Jack Ryder trying to rile him up to get him to throw a fit for a story. He was pleasantly surprised, however, when you treated him like an actual person. Sure, it could be that you were off the clock - but really, when were reporters ever really off the clock?

Most people would bend over backwards to get themselves into Brice Wayne's good graces. But, you… You talked to him like he was no different than anyone else. Maybe a bit reserved, but you had only just met, after all. In spite of this, Bruce found himself able to relax, chatting with you about the party, about your days up to then, your different careers. Bruce felt like he could actually be himself. With you, he wasn't Batman, nor was he billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. He was just… Himself.

Him and you.

He decides to stick by your side most of the evening, you and him talking long into the night. About your lives, your worries, your hobbies, your interests. It had been so long since he talked about such personal things with someone, even Alfred. And you understand. You understand his worries of responsibility, the weight of the world among his shoulders, you understand the suffocation of isolation, you under his inability to move on from the trauma of his past, try as he might. You understand. Of course you do…

You acted as someone to vent to. A listening ear. You offered up advice, even if you might not have the right answers to his problem. Sure, you might not know the full extent of his stress, but it's the thought that counts. It's almost like this night was made for you and him.

Something like, fate - that is, if Bruce had actually believed in something like that.

After that night, he found himself making a point to watch you on the news. The way you talked on the television is how you talked with him that night. Personable, comfortable, familiar. You might not be talking to him directly, but it warms his heart and staves off the icy chill of loneliness.

He went out of his way to find you during other important, publicized events. Most likely, you probably thought it was a coincidence that you kept finding yourself in his company. You most likely thought him as just an acquaintance, nothing more… But, oh, you meant so much to him.

And, oh, when you talked about Batman? Knowing that it was him you were talking about (even if you had no idea)... He'd be lying if it didn't make him a bit flustered. Your praises, the way you saw him as an inspiration, hoping after every mission that he was alright… And when you look into the camera and say to him, to Batman, through the screen, that you wish him a nice night and to be safe…?

God. He was smitten. And, really, that was his biggest mistake.

Feelings just made things complicated. He had learned that a long time ago. That everything he touched and loved was inevitably destroyed. It's why he works alone more often than not. He doesn't want someone getting hurt because of him ever again. Bruce has enemies, and Batman has even more.

Even if he had tried to reach out to you as Bruce, as himself, who's to say you would have wanted to be with him? Why would someone like you want Bruce Wayne - someone who most of Gotham portrayed as an immature playboy who never got over the death of his parents. While the second part wasn't exactly wrong, the whole playboy thing was just a diversion. But, how in the hell was he supposed to explain that?

It was easier to just let you go. You'd be happier, and more importantly, safer without his presence in your life.

So, he satiated himself on watching you, protecting you from the shadows, and kept himself sane by rewatching footage of you he's stashed within your home and around your apartment building. If he adored you from afar, that wouldn't hurt anything, right?

… But now, he's wishing he had just taken the chance. He had been good, had left you alone.

And he watched as the helicopter you were in was shot down. Watched as the recording cut off. Heard as you screamed at the top of your lungs. He replayed what he had seen over and over in his mind, losing himself. Bruce had gone so tense in disbelief and grief and rage that by the time Alfred had brought him back to reality, his nails had dug into the armrest of his loveseat.

He had insisted to himself later that night that investigating the scene of the crime wasn't fueled by personal connection or any feelings he may have. It was Batman's job. And if he ignores all the other bodies in favor of one that is presumed to be yours, it's just because he notices something different about it from the other's, that's all.

The body was decomposed far beyond that of the others, and had been exposed to the elements longer than the others. And to add onto that, the DNA sample Bruce had collected was matched with a body that had been gone missing from Gotham General.

Bruce's heart fluttered with hope and relief. You were alive, you had to be. But, just as quickly, realization crashed into him. If you were alive, it's only because Joker wanted you to be.

... What was he doing to you?

---

You stared down at the meal the Clown Prince of Crime had prepared for you - well, if you could call heating up a frozen dinner "preparing". It's not like you were exactly in a place to complain, though, considering the predicament you were stuck in.

Counting the time you had spent unconscious and Joker getting you situated and up to speed, it was most likely a few hours since the incident. You were feeling rather hungry… But, in spite of all of The Joker's lovey-dovey talk, you weren't quite sure if you could trust him to not serve you poisoned food. Even worse, however, was that you were still tied up - meaning the clown had to feed you, and you were even more unsure that he wouldn't kill you if you refused to eat.

In spite of the circumstances, and the dingy place you were trapped in, it wasn't exactly the worst. Hell, Joker had even lit up some candles for some mood lighting. Not exactly the worst "date", you had been on, sadly enough.

"Ready for some grub?" The Joker lurched into view, straightening his tie as he shot you a grin. "You must have worked up quite an appetite by now, considering all the excitement!"

You smiled in return, hoping it didn't look too strained as you nodded. You watched as he got his utensils ready, cutting up some of the food into smaller bites. You kept especially close attention on the hand holding a knife - though, it wasn't like you had any way to flee if he had decided to turn it on you.

The Joker stabbed at the food with a fork, setting down the knife, as he moved to raise your meal to your lips, while you attempted not to turn your head away. The fork approached closer and closer, and you tried to rid your mind of awful thoughts, like an eye being ripped out of its socket, implanted on the fork's tongues. But, then, The Joker suddenly stopped.

"Oh, silly me! I almost forgot," The Clown Prince set down the utensils, digging into the inside of his suit. With a flourish, he unveiled a bright, colorful, and clearly plastic flower, holding it out to you. "A present for you, m'dear! Go on, take a whiff."

You shook in your seat. Oh, God. You knew exactly where this was going. He had played you this whole time, like predators played with their food. He had made you think he had developed this obsession with you and managed to lull you into a false sense of security. And just when you were sure you were going to make it out of this situation alive, he planned to hit you with his trademark laughing gas and watch as you died.

You held back tears, shivering with fear and despair. And The Joker looked so happy, so encouraging. You were going to die. You had hit the end of the road.

You leaned forward, taking a breath through your nose-

And jumped, letting out a scream as the ceiling caved in, a dark figure crashing through. You whipped your head to face it- and winced as a small stream of water hit your cheek. Blinking once, twice, three times, you slowly turned to the clown and the trick flower in his hand.

Oh. So, it was just a regular trick flower. Not a deadly one. Okay. Okay, yeah. Sure. Great.

Groaning softly, your whole body went limp. You hung your head, shaking it slowly. Whatever. Whatever happened next, you didn't care. You were too exhausted.

"Aw, c'mon, Bats! Don'tcha know it's rude to upstage someone's act?" Joker asked. "Besides, you weren't invited to our little date night..."

...Batman?

From your periphery, you could see it. See him.

Oh, thank God. Thank fucking God. You were saved! Batman was going to save you!

All the tiredness seemed to instantly fade as you were overwhelmed with adrenaline and relief. You were saved. You were saved. Batman was going to save you. Batman was going to protect you and make sure you were all right. You didn't have to worry or be scared anymore. Batman would do all of the worrying for you.

"You broke out of Arkham, killed innocent people, and kidnapped the sole survivor after almost killing them, as well," Batman seethed, his voice a growl. "You're going back to Arkham, and I'll be taking them with me, where they'll be safe."

"Hey! First off, the whole helicopter thing wasn't me, it was one of my boys. Well… To be fair, I had intended on killing them when we downed the thing, but eh, two birds with one stone, I suppose. I wouldn't even have been mad about it, if my darling reporter here hadn't almost been hurt in the crash," The Joker moved behind you, making you seize up as he grasped your shoulders, massaging them slightly. "And really, Bats, if this is some kind of jealousy thing, you could always just ask to share."

"You're insane." Batman spat.

"Babes, you really need to get some better material," The Clown tutted. "And I was being honest! I'm actually trying to communicate here," You were suddenly spun around, locking eyes with your hero. You shuddered as the Joker nuzzled you from behind, unable to stop your face from heating up. "What do you think, darling? How's about a three-way date with me and the big bad Bat?"

"I… I-I-" You stuttered, unable to get a coherent thought put as you burned with embarrassment.

Could anyone blame you for having a little crush on Batman? You'd bet a good majority of Gothamites felt the same toward their dear Dark Knight. Hell, you'd even bet that some of the Rogues that the Caped Crusader went up against had feelings for him. It was pretty obvious the Joker did, at least.

And the Joker… He was a monster. A criminal. But, the time you've spent with him… Well, you could better understand how Dr. Quinnzel fell for the man. Despite your knowledge of the horrible crimes he committed, the way he treated you so kindly, it was hard to not get flustered, to not feel special. It was hard to ignore his humor, his affection for you, his pet names, his sweet gestures- no, no. This- this was ridiculous. You had to stop. You weren't thinking straight.

"Get your hands off of them!" The Bat spat.

"But I don't wanna!" Joker let out an exaggerated whine, before descending into giggles. Painted lips brushed against your neck. "Besides, I don't think they want me to…"

You felt hypersensitive, the brush of the Clown's lips drawing a whine from your throat.

Your eyes shot open wide as a pained scream ripped from Joker. You turned as best you could, watching the man stumble back, clutching his hand - a batarang sticking piercing through it, blood bubbling up from the wound and dripping to the floor.

The Joker hissed, bristling with rage. "Bats, why you-!"

In an instant, Batman shot put his batclaw, the claw digging into The Joker's suit, before retracting. The Joker stumbled as he rocketed forward, his face immediately colliding with Batman's fist. Before he could fall back, the Dark Knight caught him by the throat and squeezed. The Clown wheeled and coughed in shock at the closing of his windpipe and his desperation to breathe. The Bat slowly lifted another fist - and hit the other man so hard that even you winced. You watched as Joker fell onto his back with a low groan. The Batman stood above him, glowering and breathing heavily as he looked down on his nemesis.

"Batsy, babe… Ya know I love it when you play rough, but Jesus, warn a guy first, will ya?" The Joker laughed wearily, seemingly in a daze.

Sneering, Batman grabbed his nemesis by his coat, tossing him aside onto his stomach. His foot came down to stomp onto his arm, making the other man whimper, and the Bat reached down to rip the batarang free from his hand, and in turn, ripping a scream from Joker's throat. Pulling out a pair of batcuffs, the Caped Crusader roughly restrained the man's arms, before lifting him to his feet.

"Careful with the merchandise…" The Joker grumbled.

With a second pair of cuffs, the Bat attached one of the cuffs to the Joker's ankle, the Clown laughing as he attempted to kick at the Bat to heed his progress, and then the other to a metal support pillar protruding from the floor.

And then, in the next instant, Batman was at your side, diligently working to free you from the shackles that bound you. As the restraints loosened, you took in a deep breath before letting out a shuddering sigh. You tried to stand, only for your legs to give out from under you - you had spent so long in that position that your legs had fallen asleep - but it was okay. Batman caught you. He caught you and he held you and pulled you into a hug. A gloved hand petted your hair soothingly.

"It's okay. You're safe, you're okay," The Bat rumbled. "I've got you."

This. This was what you loved most about The Batman. As much as he was revered for the fear he struck into the heart of evil, how he acted as a phantom in the night, fighting back against the criminals that roamed Gotham in the night… What you loved most was what came after. Your interviews with survivors of criminal attacks are what made you grow a fondness for the Dark Knight. How comforting they said he was. How he reassured them, made them feel safe. When he was there, they knew everything was okay. They knew they were safe. That everything was going to be okay.

Everything was going to be okay.

And you melted into his hold.

He continued to murmur reassurances as he began to massage your legs until the static feeling went away and you found the strength to stand - and even then, he let you lean against him as you walked out into the night together.

"You'll pay for this, Bats," The Joker spat, expression dark… Until he locked eyes with you, and his visage softened. "How about same time next week, love?"

Before you could think of responding, Batman pulled out of the building and far, far away from the madman within.

---

Bruce had to fight to keep his driving steady. His body was flooded with adrenaline and his heart rabitted a mile a minute. His entire being felt electric.

He had touched you, held you. And you held him back, reassured and calmed by him. It was everything he had dreamed of. You had leaned against for support and let him help you climb into the batmobile.

He had managed to track The Joker down to one of his usual hideouts that he and Harley stayed at - an old, abandoned amusement park that had been sold to him. Well, would have been sold to him, if he hadn't killed the owner of the property before they could seal the deal.

He kept sneaking glances at you from the corner of his eye. You, resting your head against the window, eyes shut as you tried to get some rest after everything you had been through. You could rest for as long as you liked. He was here now. Bruce would keep you safe.

Bruce took his usual shortcut into the batcave, driving into a cave opening just outside the manor, and you lifted your head, startled by the sudden turn and shift in light behind your eyes.

"Batman, where are we?"

Home.

You gasped as restraints wrapped over your ligaments, tying you down to the seat.

Bruce knew this was wrong. But, after such a long career as the Batman, he had learned that he often had to do the wrong thing in order to get the right outcome. He really wished there was any other way… But, you had a target on your head now. You'd be safe with him. He'd keep you deep within the batcave and visit you often.

You sputtered, eyes wide with shock and disbelief and… Betrayal. Bruce hated the thought of you looking at him like that. He leaned over, softly pressing a kiss to your forehead. He felt you shiver under his touch.

He'd get you settled and comfortable. He'd reveal his true self to you at some point, but that was for later. You had been through enough for one night.

"You're safe now." Bruce lied promised. "I've got you."

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listentothelittlebird · 3 years ago

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I was looking through some drafts and I found this - I think it’s my first attempt at writing Burning Iceberg. Here, Damian tagged along with Jason when he went off for training!

Word Count: 2942 words

enjoy!

It’s Talia who sends him away.

“Training,” she says, but there is something in the way that she moves, the way that the base is silent and waiting with bated breath right up until they leave.

Jason leaves alone. Talia watches him go, her posture too unnaturally relaxed for anything not to be amiss.

He gets one day away from the base before he realises he has a tail.

“Damian?”

The young boy scuffles out of the shadows with a haughty sniff. “Took you long enough to notice me, Todd,” he huffs. Given the boy’s night clothing - the one’s he wore to sleep - Jason guessed that he had just arrived.

“Why’re you here?” Jason asks, curious. Sure, he had talked to the kid, had trained with the kid, but why was he here?

Damian glanced at Jason, then glanced away. “You were going alone,” he declared stiffly, “I would think that you would prefer company.”

“Mother agreed, and sent me after you,” Damian added, not at all convincing. Talia would never allow Damian out of her sights, especially with the tension in the air back at the base. Something was definitely up, but Jason let it slide and gestured for Damian to come closer. “You hungry, kid? I’ve got enough food for both of us until the next village.”

He knows that Talia might come after him. There’s no way he would let Damian disappear, just like that. For the moment, however, Jason could care less.

He had never asked for a big brother, and he had never asked for a little brother, but he was definitely willing to risk his life for the eight-year-old beside him.

“Where are we going?” Damian asks, quietly. They’re stowed away on a cargo ship headed for the South Pole.

“I want to find a bender,” Jason replies, “The North pole is more connected to the world, and there’s more people to worry about. I’d think that a bender would hide in the South, where there’s less people.”

Damian scrunched up his nose. “Your skills are not adequate to face a bender, Todd.”

Jason pauses, then snorts, “I’m not gonna fight the bender, D. I just want to… talk to them.”

Damian eyes him with a skeptical look, but otherwise says nothing.

They’re riding through a brutal storm when Damian loses his grip and tumbles towards the railing.

Jason follows, one hand gripping tightly onto the metal rail and the other holding onto Damian as he flailed. For once, the kid looked genuinely terrified.

A wave crashes into them, and pulls them over.

Jason is surprised to wake up. He tried to gauge his surroundings, but nothing really added up. He was under a fur blanket, a fire crackling near him. Someone was shifting beside him.

“You’re awake,” the voice murmurs, “I thought you’d sleep longer, but it seems not.”

Jason, carefully pulled himself up, narrowing his eyes as he gazed around the igloo. It was sparse, but large enough to fit him, the new man, and-

“Dami,” Jason breathed, headless of the man’s presence as he jerked out of the furs and toward

his brother’s still form. He pressed two fingers to the boy’s neck, and his heart only calmed when he could feel the steady thrumming for a full minute.

“You’re welcome,” came the dry remark. Right. Jason turned back to the man, assessing him silently. He wore a blue parka, and was currently wearing the hood low over his face.

“The two of you washed ashore last night,” the man explained, without prompting, “Your friend was barely breathing, but he made it through. You were surprisingly fine once the threat of frostbite was removed.”

Jason glanced again at Damian.

“Thank you,” Jason stated, before his voice hardened, “But can we trust you?”

The man sighed. “Figures that two kids running around in the Antarctic wouldn’t trust a stranger,” he mused to himself. His amused smile was the only thing that Jason could see, the fire and the shadows obscuring the rest.

“We are a long distance from the nearest village, but I can take you there. I can send the two of you on your way the moment that your friend feels better.”

“You know that you’re safe here, right?” Jason stated quietly. Anuk had left them in the igloo and went hunting by himself. He claimed that he worked better alone.

Damian looked up from where he was curled up in a corner of the igloo, his back pressed tightly against the icy wall. He wrinkled his nose, but there was still apprehension in his eyes. Jason sighed.

“Look, if this guy meant bad, he’d have done something already,” Jason reasoned, spreading his hands along the icy ground. He was glad that his resistance to low temperatures had survived the pit, even if his bending had not.

“Your trust will get you killed,” Damian murmured. Jason winced, “Yeah, well, it kinda already did. But that’s besides the point,” Jason rushed to add, “Just- trust is dangerous, sure, but can you really live your life without trusting anyone?”

Damian was silent. Jason, taking a dive, spoke up, “Do you trust me?”

Damian jerked his head up, staring at him with wide eyes. Then, quietly, “Yes.”

Jason nodded, and pressed, “Talia? Ra’s?”

Damian hesitated. Jason moved on.

“Listen. I know you just wanted to tag along for my training, but we’ve been under the radar for at least a month.” They had arrived on a full moon, and that night was a full moon, again.

“Even Talia would have to admit to Ra’s that she thought we were dead somewhere in the Antarctic. Firebenders hate the two poles - they won’t be sending a search party for us, much less coming to find us themselves. You don’t have to go back to them.”

This time, Damian glared. “Where else would I go, Todd?” he spat, and Jason realised that the kid had already thought of this, had already considered this, “Where else am I supposed to go, if I do not return to my home?”

Jason pursed his lips, and despite the green raging inside him…

“Bruce would take you in,” Jason admitted, shoving the green away, “I can’t say the same for myself, not when I’m done with him, but… you. You’re his kid. He’d definitely take you in.”

Jason grinned, “He’d love you. Hell, he already took in the Replacement, what’s one more?”

Damian shifted. “Why won’t he take you in?” he questioned.

Jason stilled. “It’s not-” Jason started and stopped, and shook his head. The Joker was still alive. He had adopted a new kid. He wasn’t needed, hell, he wasn’t wanted. He really had just been a charity case. He breathed, trying to push the green down.

“It’s complicated. I don’t know if I can forgive Bruce, and I don’t know if I can stare at him without wanting to put a knife to his neck.”

That was what scared him the most. That he would lose control. He hated Bruce right now, hated him for what he had done, what he had not done, but his nightmare was his vision going green and fading to a Batman bleeding out from a knife in his grip.

Damian looked confused, so Jason tried to explain. “Bruce is… not a perfect man,” Jason sighed, “But he’s all Gotham has. And the Robins - what he does for them, that’s good. Even if-” Even if it gave him false hope for a rescue that never came. He swallowed that down.

“For all of his faults, he did give me some of the best memories.” Not that he remembered many of them. The pit took that away, too. “I hate him, but I loved him, too.”

“You’re ready.”

Jason raised an eyebrow at Anuk. “Ready for?”

“The full moon,” Anuk explained, not really explaining at all. He pointed towards the sky. “Tonight should be a full moon. We’ll set out onto the ocean at midnight, and you can perform the traditional water-bending stances for Tui and La. If nothing else, it is a tradition that I practice, and as my student, I want you to practice it as well.”

Jason sighed, but went along with it. He still had no bending - sometimes he thought that the water would move just so, but most of the time, there was nothing. He diligently learnt all of the water-bending moves, but Anuk was probably lying when he said that he was “ready”. How do you tell if someone knows their stuff if they don’t even bend?

The night was quiet. Serene, silent in the way that Gotham never was. The League had been silent, too, but not in this way. There was tension in the air, in League bases, sounds controlled and quenched before they could travel. Here, there were only expanses of snow and ice to echo back each scrunch of their boots.

Anuk bended a gondola made of ice, and Jason hopped on, not willing to show his own hesitation. Anuk waved his arms and the gondola moved out onto the calm Antarctic sea.

“According to my Gramps, we used to have big ceremonies on full moons,” Anuk started conversationally, filling the cold silence with soft murmurs. Jason realised belatedly that they should have brought a lamp, or at least a torchlight, but it seemed like Anuk knew where he was going, even in the dim moonlight.

“I live in the South pole, but my Gramps hailed from the North. He says that the late princess Yue gave her life to keep the moon spirit, Tui, alive. The Northern water-benders would present their bending on full moons to pay homage to Yue and her sacrifice.”

The gondola slowed to a stop, and they were left bobbing softly on near-silent waves. Anuk stretched his arms out and pulled, and a square platform of ice froze before them. Anuk stepped back and looked towards Jason expectantly.

Jason had grown used to the icy tundra, enough so that he did not immediately slip off the icy block when he hopped out of the gondola. He took his place at the centre of the ice block, glanced up at the moon, and started to run through his bending forms.

Nothing happened at first. Jason felt kind of stupid, actually, bending without bending at all. He nearly slipped a few times, but he managed to keep his balance, and powered through the basic forms into the more advanced attacks.

Then, something shifted.

“Jason,” the wind whispered, and Jason stumbled. His foot slipped, and he ended up on all four as the ice block rocked, waves pushing over the sides and washing over his hands and knees. The voice sounded like Bruce.

“I’m so sorry, Jason,” came again, and it really did sound like Bruce. Jason blinked into the moonlit ice and nearly gasped.

It was a bird’s-eye view of the Batcave. He would know that cavern anywhere. Batman was stooped down beside a glass casing, positioned at the centre of the cave.

The vision zoomed in. The casing had a blood-stained Robin uniform, burned and tattered, way too destroyed to be repairable. Jason realised it was his suit. The one he had died in.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” Bruce was saying, and Jason could only watch as Bruce absolutely bawled his eyes out in front of the casing, still wearing his batsuit, only having pulled the cowl down.

Just when the sobs died down, Jason heard, “I left Joker in the helicopter. I knew it was going to crash, but I- I thought he didn’t deserve to live,” Bruce admitted quietly. Jason’s breath hitched.

“He survived. Of course he did. If I keep going after him, he’ll just keep surviving, and… I have to stop, before I can’t. Before I lose myself in a world that took you. I’m sorry,” he choked out, and the tears continued to flow.

The scene changed.

“Why?” Dick’s voice screamed, raw and so full of emotion that it jarred Jason to the bones. “Why did you let him live?”

“We can’t be the dictators of who lives and who dies,” Bruce started, but Dick cut him off. “This is the Joker we’re talking about, B!” Dick yelled, somehow louder than the previous shout, “Joker doesn’t care who lives and who dies! He definitely didn’t care when he-” Dick cut himself off with a sharp exhale.

Bruce waited as Dick took measured breaths. “I just don’t get it,” Dick whispered, “A man like him? B, why did you save him?”

Silence.

“We fight for justice,” Bruce rumbled, steadfast and sure compared to the crying mess in the last vision. Confident, like he had worked through his thoughts and come to a conclusion. “We can’t just kill people as we see fit. Not even if we hold a personal grudge. Not even if we want revenge for our own.”

They both glanced towards the casing.

“I still want to kill him,” Dick stated bluntly. Jason thought Bruce would reaffirm his rules, that he would cook up a convincing argument and strike down Dick’s motives.

Instead, Bruce only answered with, “Sit on it for a few days. Don’t make an impulsive decision you’ll regret.”

Dick sighed harshly, and left the viewing range of the vision. Bruce turned back to the casing.

“I never got to apologise to you,” Bruce murmured, “For accusing you of pushing Garzonasa.”

“I was worried for you. Nobody should have to live with the guilt of taking someone’s life. I’m sorry if I came off as distrustful. I should have done more. Been better.”

One last scene. A young kid, black hair and blue eyes, looking up at the casing, fiddling with a new Robin suit that Jason had only seen through grainy newspaper prints.

“You were my hero,” the boy said, and checked his empty surroundings before he continued, “You were… awesome. You had so much energy and spunk, and-” he huffed, a small smile on his face, “-much more fire than me. Which is ironic, to say the least.”

Jason watched as the kid produced a photo from his gauntlet. It was a photo of Jason and Nightwing, on the rooftops, laughing and joking around.

“I always wanted to be your friend,” he admitted, “I never wanted to replace you. I just knew that Batman needed a partner, and I guess nobody else was gonna do it, so. Here I am.”

The photo slipped back under his cape. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be like you, but I’m trying. I… I know I shouldn’t miss you, because technically I never knew you, but. I do.”

Timothy Drake looked up at the suit for a long minute, before turning and pressing his domino mask across his eyes. “I’ll do my best to make you proud,” he whispered to the air.

The vision disappeared with the pull of the tide. Jason was suddenly aware of the ice block he was still on, as it tipped against the slightly-larger wave. A combination of water and ice made him slide right off the block’s edge.

Anuk’s yell was drowned out by the freezing water rushing to meet him. It was the very opposite of being dipped into the Lazarus pit. The water was a dark blue, and he could still see the moonlight piercing through the water’s surface. The light bent above him, and he blinked, because it almost looked like a face. A young woman, with long white hair flowing around her serene smile.

The light pulsed, and suddenly he could feel the water around him, moving and flowing, pulsating with its own energy. He could feel the water turning and churning around Anuk’s gondola as he steered towards him. He spread out his arms and pushed-

-and shot out of the water, landing with a slight stumble back on Anuk’s gondola. The boat rocked slightly, but Jason smoothed his palms downwards and the rippling waves ceased.

“Tui and La,” Anuk cursed to himself, “You were under there for quite a- oh.”

Jason tilted his head. “Oh?” he prompted, still reeling from how alive he felt. He was surrounded by his element, and he almost wanted to dive back under just to soak in his renewed bending.

Anuk produced an ice mirror, angling it to catch the moonlight. It was hard to make out, but there was definitely a patch of hair that was no longer black, dangling right in front of his eyes.

His eyes were blue, like the colour he was born with.

“Yue’s blessing,” Anuk breathed. “What?” Jason questioned, looking up from where he was scrutinising his new hairstyle. Anuk had his head tilted reverently towards the moon.

“Princess Yue lived because Tui gave her life,” Anuk recounted, “Her hair was a stark white because of this. When Tui’s mortal form was killed, Yue gave back her lifeforce to revive Tui.” Anuk chuckled, “It’s why most people from the poles don’t bother dyeing their hair.”

Jason himself eyed the moon contemplatively. He closed his eyes, and realised with a start that the green was gone. The pit’s effects - the murderous rage, the unnaturally-green eyes, the blockage of his bending - they were gone.

Anuk had taught him a traditional bow used to start and end water-bending fights, a sign of respect for the opponent. Jason bowed towards the moon, and hoped he was doing it right.

“Thank you,” he breathed quietly, “Yue, Tui, whatever you prefer to be called. Thank you.”

The moon shone on the ocean, and he swore he could see Yue’s face once more, smiling.

#Gotham's White Lotus #I think I did the weird present tense turned past tense thing again #ew #Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #fanfic #I honestly forgot I wrote this but man it's neat #crossover #moon spirit yue #I got 100 followers recently which is cool #I'm honestly just vibing so it's nice people seem to like my stuff

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lady-of-all-cards · 4 years ago

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Ikemen Revolution: Alternate Ending (Jonah Clemence)

One-Shot Statictis: Pages: 6 Word Count: 2575 Characters: 14211 Characters (without spaces): 11706

Fandom: Ikemen Revolution Characters: Jonah Clemence, Luka Clemence, Alice the Second, Amon Jabberwock, Jonah’s Heart Defenders Pairings: Jonah Clemence/Main Character Summary: It seemed surreal the way they had confessed their love. He had tried to ensure she got home to her world, on the far side of the moon, but she just wouldn’t have it. One thing was for sure however; he would give his life to protect his love.

Notes: SPOILERS!This is an alternate universe ending based on Jonah’s main route. If you don’t want the main points of Jonah’s route being spoiled, don’t read this. I highly recommend downloading the game if you already haven’t and experiencing Jonah’s route for yourself, because it is one of my favourites in the game and I really recommend it.

It was so amazing, and so surreal at the same time. Jonah and Alice had parted from Luka and the Heart Defenders at dawn, but dusk was now creeping up on the Queen and his new found beloved. The temperature around them was slowly dropping, but a warm, comforting heat passed through the juncture where their hands. It was this heat, and the comfort of the other’s company, was what kept them going, trudging along to the end goal of their mission.

Their mission... Over the past three days, neither of them had any chance to really process or internalise what they had done, and what they were about to do. The fact that the fate of all Cradle was now down to just them two fighting the greatest evil the country had ever faced. The war didn’t compare to this, not by a long shot, but Jonah would damn himself if he didn’t put as much of his strength, intelligence and might into this mission as he did in his duties as Queen.

The silent between them grew more and more tense the closer they drew to the old ruins. The last remaining proof of peace, the last place where the two sides sat down at the same table smiling, whole, as a family... a part of Jonah was making plans to recreate that peace, he could see it clearly- all of them sat around the table in the Garden, smiling, laughing. That image elated him, and his pace increased.

“Jonah... what are you thinking about?” Alice asked sweetly, tightening her grip on his hand in a way she hoped was comforting, and she would never know just how much hope such a simple act gave him.

“The future.” His smile was bright, because in his image of the tea party, Alice was by his side, leaning against his shoulder. Luka was smiling at them both, and the whole atmosphere was achingly sweet and picture-perfect. He even saw the Joker in the image, and Mousse and his old Professor, Dean Tweedle. The perfect image of peace, the perfect image of what this final fight brought.

“What about the future?” Alice probed with a light giggle, a beautiful sound that made the soft ache in Jonah’s heart grow.

“Just... the future.” He spoke unabashedly in a teasing tone. He wouldn’t ever tell her what he saw, because one day, she would see for herself the future he smiled upon, the future he held close to his heart. They just needed to fulfill this one final task...

It had been thirty days since Alice had gotten lost in Wonderland, and the night of the full moon had come to Cradle once again as they cut into the clearing of the battered ruins. Deep in the heart of the Forbidden Forest, the ruins of an ancient castle slept.

“This is the castle the royal family lived in long, long ago.” Jonah spoke wistfully, taken by the decrepit beauty. “Now it’s nothing but a discarded, empty shell. Proof of just how far even the highest among us can fall.”

“Yeah, it’s a melancholy sight...” Alice muttered, sharing his despair for the loss of a more peaceful time. But somewhere in those ruins was Amon’s hidden stash of Magic Crystals.

“Let’s go in, Alice.” Jonah led, picking up his pace, tightening his grip on his beloved’s hand. The air felt tense, as if each step brought them ever closer to Cradle’s secrets. Alice thought about all the people who had helped them get this far, who made it possible for them to save Cradle. Edgar in the beginning giving them enough time to get out of the country, King Lancelot with his riddle, Blanc and Oliver giving them a place to stay, and Luka and the Jonah’s Heart Defenders helping them through the start of the forest.

However, just as Alice gave Jonah’s hand an extra squeeze, they discovered they weren’t alone...

“Stop right there.” There had been no footsteps to warn of his presence, but a tall man with a dark purple robe around his shoulders appeared from within the ruins, followed closely by a large group of men in black robes.

“Amon!” Jonah glared at the man as his utterance confirmed Alice’s suspicions. They caught a glimpse of his maniacal smile from the depths of his hood, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

“I came here because I felt an odd hunch, but I wasn’t expecting for you to have sniffed out this secret place. Tell me, why has the Queen of Hearts, the king’s loyal dog, come here?”

“To put an end to the threat that’s infesting Cradle.” Jonah answered, not missing a single beat.

“Oh? I take that to mean you’ve come to steal our hard-earned treasure?”

“We’re not here to steal it. We’re here to destroy it.” Alice snapped, glaring at Amon through the fear she felt in his company.

“Alice. Do you seriously think you have enough power to destroy all our Magic Crystals?” Amon challenged, turning his gaze on the woman. “Don’t make me laugh!” Amon’s cackling laughter shattered the silence. “Hear me, my faithful servant. Show no mercy. The Queen of Hearts is a traitor hunted by his own army. You may kill him. As for Alice-- hurt her all you want, but take her alive. She’s going to make the best test subject we’ve ever had.”

“Yes, Lord Amon!” Alice’s anger outweighed her fear as she watched the disciples draw their swords. As the enemy got into their battle formation, Jonah whispered to her.

“Listen. The Magic Crystals must be somewhere inside the castle. I’ll clear a path so you can get inside and turn those Magic Crystals into worthless pebbles.” He hissed the last part maliciously.

“Got it.”

“I promise that I will keep you and the future of this country safe.” As he swore that, the image from earlier popped back into his mind, fueling his resolve. “Starting tomorrow, we’ll be able to wake up each morning and greet each other without any worries or fears.”

“I believe in that future too, Jonah!” She breathed, tears threatening to form at the thought. They squeezed each other’s hands once more before letting go.

“Go! Kill! Offer up the queen’s blood for our cause!” However, Amon command was drowned out by Jonah’s declaration--

“May glory run crimson through our veins!” Shouts shook the forest air as Jonah and the Disciples of Magic clashed. Moonlight glinted off Jonah's saber as he smashed an enemy’s blade in two.

“Ugh--”

“No one can keep us out of there!” Jonah proclaimed, not even giving the men time to tremble in fear before cutting a swath through them.

“You impudent--” gritting his teeth angrily, Amon’s hand began to glow with an ominous light. “That’s enough of this foolishness!

“Uh!”

“What’s happening?!” A powerful gust of wind lifted her and Jonah off the ground, but even as they were tossed about as if by the breath of some invisible giant, Jonah managed to catch hold of her. When she fought against the magic, they crashed to the ground and went rolling across the grass.

“Resistance is futile. You’re not strong enough. Now, Queen of Hearts, just give Alice to me and die.” Amon’s scornful voice made her forget all about the pain she felt.

“No, it’s time for you to give up!”

“Hm-” the Magic Crystal in Amon’s hand stopped glowing and the wind stopped with it. Jonah and Alice got to their feet to glare at the startled disciples and Amon.

“You there-- Amon or Almond, whatever your name is-- I don’t know who you think you’re talking to! But you do not give orders to the proud Queen of Hearts!” He stressed.

“Bark and whine all you like, dog. That won’t change the fact that the king you serve is the one who wants Alice gone and the Black Army under his control.” Amon hissed, sneering at them from in his shroud. “You let your emotions take control and betrayed your master to help this woman. That is the ultimate malfeasance, Queen of Hearts.”

“Malfeasance? You must be thinking of yourself. You’ve sentenced an innocent woman to a terrible fate because of your ambitions to rule this country. That’s utterly ludicrous.” Jonah bit back.

“Are you sure about that? My conquest will bring peace to this country. Once I reign from the shadows and all of Cradle bows before my power, the conflict between the Red and Black will come to an end. Absolute control through fear will bring peace. How can you claim that’s not just? And you’re willing to throw all of that away-- let chaos reign-- for the sake of one woman? Doesn’t that make you the villain here?”

Alice was about to give Amon a piece of her mind when Jonah put a calming arm around her shoulder.

“Amon, you’re free to say whatever you want, but I will never stop doing what I think is right, and protecting the woman I love sounds right to me. How could loving someone ever be wrong? Even if it is emotionally taxing...” He stood strong and proud as always, even in the face of Cradle’s greatest evil. “Amon, are you prepared to become a stain on my blade for your ideals?

“Er--” Jonah’s piercing look made Amon’s shoulders tremble. Trying to escape the intense gaze, Amon quickly hid behind his disciples. “How dare you treat me with such disrespect!? You’ve really made me angry now!” Amon reached into the folds of his robes, bringing out a new Magic Crystal and raising it skyward. “Don’t leave a drop of blood in him! Go, my servants-- I will give you strength!”

“Y-yes-- as you command--” the bodies of all the disciples gave a sudden jerk. Eyes wide and vacant, they turned to look at them in perfect synchronization.

“Your lord is scum of the earth. I’ll open your eyes so you can see him for what he really is!”

“Arrrrgggghhhh!” The puppet disciples roared as they raised their swords and charged, but despite being vastly outnumbered, the men toppled one after another under Jonah’s blade. Unable to feel pain, however, they kept coming no matter how many were hit. Jonah glanced back to flash Alice a confident smile as he caught an enemy attack with his blade.

“When you’re with me, Alice, there’s no way I could lose.”

“Really?” Jonah’s beautiful eyes gave off sparks in the moonlight.

“Don’t you get it? You’re amazingly dense sometimes. If it means being able to hold you in my arms, I can and will do anything.” Flexing his muscles, Jonah sent the enemy and his sword flying backward.

“Ugh!” As the stunned man lay on his back, Jonah stomped on his chest mercilessly.

“Who wants to be stepped on next?”

“H-he’s so-- powerful--” the bewitched disciples began to tremble and stagger backward, opening a clear path into the castle.

“Go, Alice!”

“Okay!” She took off running down the path Jonah had cleared for her without hesitation. She had just reached the entrance to the crumbling ruins when--

“Not so fast, Alice!” Amon sprang from his hiding place, latching onto her from behind.

“Alice!” Jonah cried, fighting off the disciples harder.

“You’ll make me a fine shield, Alice.” He had her arms pinned. All she could do was crane her neck around to get a look at him. She glimpsed at Jonah, his face stricken as he tried to cut his way to her. “Wahaha! Too bad, Queen of Hearts. If you want to save Alice, you’ll have to pay with your life!”

“Get your dirty hand off of me!”

“Urk!” Alice rammed her elbow into Amon’s stomach as hard as she could and his grip on her loosened. She broke free of Amon’s hands and started running again just as Jonah caught up.

“I couldn’t agree with her more. Don’t you dare touch my Alice!”

“Urgh!” Amon gasped in pain as Jonah’s blade cut through him. He looked into the honey-gold eyes of his killer, and with one last smirk, drove a dagger into the stomach of the proud Queen of Hearts.

Although Amon knew it was all over for him, he reveled in the sight of the Queen of Hearts stumbling back, gripping the handle of the dagger buried deep in him. The Magic Tower’s leader laid to Jonah’s right, watching as he fell to his knees, finally able to pull the weapon from his body, and just before the darkness took him, Jonah crawled to lean against the ruins of the castle.

Jonah held his hand tight against his wound, trying to regulate his breathing. He felt paralized, rooted to the spot, left to await his inevitable demise. Casting his gaze to the sky, he watched as thousands of tiny flecks of magic rose towards the magical full moon, and, knowing the mission was complete, he closed his eyes blissfully.

“Jonah!” The voice of his darling little brother seemed so far off that Jonah thought he’d imagined it, but it made him smile all the same. Luka was safe now. Jonah, in his dying moments, managed to save his one true charge. “Jonah...” There it was again, but closer. “No, no... no- Jonah!” That time it was right in his ear as his hand was ripped away from his wound, and replaced with a much stronger one...

Luka smoothed back the haired that had fallen over his brother’s eyes just as they cracked open, meeting the tearfilled orbs of their brother.

“Jonah... s-stay awake- I’ll- I’ll get you to Kyle, you’ll be okay.” Luka begged, placing more pressure on the wound and hoping it would stop it soon, but Jonah’s once pristine crystalline uniform was slowly becoming more and more stained with his blood.

“Jonah?” The small gasp to his left drew his drooping eyes to his beloved, and tears started to fall. He looked straight ahead to his unit, all stood with their head bowed, caps placed to their hearts in respect, but it only hurt his heart more. A chocked sob passed his lips as he looked back up at the moon, closing his eyes.

“Jonah!” Luka’s impatient screeching made Jonah’s eyes snap open again. “Don-don’t close your eyes, okay? Stay with us...” He muttered softly, his voice broken, but gentle.

“Luka... Luka you have to make peace... the war is over, we- the country can be united again under a joint banner-”

“Don’t you dare speak like that! You’re going to make it through this, so shut up. You can do that yourself, and I’ll help you- but I can’t do it if you die.” Tears were streaming down Luka’s cheek, and Jonah reached up to brush them away, neither brother caring that his hand was covered in blood.

“I... I’m not going to make it, Luka... even if we got to Kyle in time, I don’t think-”

“Stop thinking then! I can do it! Just let me!” Luka sobbed, choking up. He flung in his face into Jonah’s chest, soaking his uniform with tears. Jonah placed his hand atop Luka’s head, stroking it softly. “Don’t die on me now... you’re too stubborn for that...”

“I’m sorry, Luka... I... I-I can’t...” Luka didn’t argue this time. He could hear Jonah’s wanning heartbeat.

Jonah looked to the full moon, taking in a shaky breath...

“May glory run crimson through our veins...”

#ikemen revolution #jonah clemence #luka clemence #alice the second #amon jabberwock #jonah's heart defenders #alternate ending

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jalapeno-princess · 5 years ago

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Take My Hand

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Fluff with some angst

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: Your parents have been planning your marriage to the Park family’s only son Jinyoung from the time you were born. You accepted the arrangement and came to terms with the fact that you were going to marry someone in order to strengthen your family’s companies. However, everything goes to shit when you fall in love with your coworker.

A/N: This is my first request! I’m sorry anon if this doesn’t meet your standards and if it’s all over the place. I’m still trying to get better with my writing. if you like this, feel free to send in more requests! This was honestly so rushed I’m sorry but please enjoy! Based on Run Away by Got7

You didn’t mean to fall in love with him, but it was inevitable. When you met him almost a year ago, you didn’t think he would be the one to capture your heart. Especially because you were engaged. Love was a foreign word. You considered it to be taboo. Your parents decided that you wouldn’t have a chance at having any idea of what love was before you could actually talk. They made an agreement with your fiancés parents even before either of you were born that the two of you were to get married once you both were of legal age to do so in order for both their companies to thrive. Or so they claimed.

Both your and Jinyoung’s father were the presidents of some of the biggest technology companies in the country. Your father was fully aware that having his only daughter marry the Park family’s only son would make your companies even stronger than they already were. This also meant more income coming in for both parties.

It wasn’t that you disliked your fiancé. Far from it actually. You and Jinyoung were civil, to the point where you would even consider yourselves friends.

However, even before learning what love was through Mark, you knew you didn’t love Jinyoung. You could never consider Jinyoung as anything more than a friend; the other half of a very unfortunate and unwanted arranged marriage.

Plus, the two of you only really interacted when your parents were around. You were never one to go against your parents wishes. As the only child, you did whatever you could in order to make your parents happy. You did everything they told you to do and constantly changed yourself in order to be a daughter they were proud of. That was until Mark walked in to your life.

Mark Tuan. The actual love of your life. Your best friend. The man who showed you what love was. Even if the two of you weren’t together for too long, you knew he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. The feelings you had for him were indescribable. A smile would rise on your face at just the mere thought of him. Even if you knew the consequences of having an affair and what would happen if you didn’t go along with the marriage, you were willing to take the risk. Especially if it meant getting to be with Mark.

You had just become a kindergarten teacher when your paths collided. He had been teaching for a little over three years at the time and so the principal had him show you around. He was extremely handsome, there was no doubt about it. But it wasn’t just his attractive looks that had you hooked on him. It was his kindness, patience, optimism. The way his eyes would light up whenever you’d observe him teaching his students brought warmth to your cheeks. He was the perfect guy and pretty much everything you could want in a significant other.

The two of you began spending more and more time together as the months went by and soon you found yourself falling for him. It didn’t take long for you to realize that you had feelings for him. You found yourself missing him on the weekends and when spring break came around, one week felt like months away from him. But you didn’t know what this feeling was, nor did you want to act upon it because it was wrong. And you weren’t too sure how Mark felt about you.

Sure, he was extremely nice to you, and you would catch him sneaking glances at you from time to time. But that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Little did you know, he was just as head over heels for you as you were with him. He thought you were such an amazing teacher and he truly believed you were otherworldly. To Mark, you were an ethereal being; a sight for sore eyes and he found himself craving your presence all the time. Which is why he finally built the courage to ask you out on a date.

When he pulled you on the side one morning while the kids were at recess and asked to talk to you, you didn’t think much about it. That was until you saw the beautiful bouquet of sunflowers he was trying to hide behind his back and the pink tint on his cheeks as he nervously scratched the back of his neck. When he confessed his feelings for you, you were over the moon. However, constant red flags went off in your head. No matter how badly you wanted to go out with him, you knew you had no right to. Nor did you want to lead Mark on by saying yes, only for him to find out about your engagement if the two of you were to get serious. Yet, you found yourself agreeing.

Your first date together wasn’t something you could put in to words. He was such a gentleman and also quite the joker. You didn’t think you were capable of so much laughter. Growing up, you would hear some of your classmates talk about having “butterflies swarm around in their tummy” whenever they would talk to their crush. But you never quite understood what it meant. As you walked hand in hand with Mark, you now had a clue what they were talking about. Although, butterflies didn’t even come close to describing the feeling Mark gave you.

Dating Mark felt like a dream. Sometimes, you had a hard time believing that he was actually real. You fell in love with him faster than you’d like to admit. He made you feel things that you were afraid of at first. Only because you didn’t think someone like you, someone who’s parents had planned out her life before she was even born, would have the chance to do something you actually wanted. Not something your parents wanted you to do.

Your relationship with Mark was one of the only things in your life that you had control over and you were going to make the most of it. He sent fire to your bones with the slightest of touches. He would always find an excuse to come in to your classroom just to see you and sometimes, he would sneak a few kisses when your students weren’t looking. Mark was also very thoughtful. Seeing as how you would always get up early to go to work, he had a feeling you weren’t taking care of yourself by eating your meals. That’s why you would always find some sort of pastry on your desk almost every morning and the thought always made you blush.

As the months went by, things only got harder for you. The wedding planning had begun. Since you and Jinyoung were both legal adults with full time jobs, your parents felt that it was time the two of you finally tied the knot. You didn’t know what to do. You felt torn. It’s been six months since the two of you started seeing each other and Mark had yet to learn about your fiancé and how you were months away from getting married to another man.

The two of you had just finished a passionate night of love making when you decided it was time to let him know. The guilt was eating away at you and you could no longer hold it in anymore. Right as you were about to open your mouth and say something, he beat you to it.

“I’m in love with you.”

You were stunned to say the least. Hearing those words leave his pretty lips sent your body ablaze. You couldn’t breathe. It was all too much. When he noticed your blank stare, he felt his heart sink. Was he rushing things? Did he say it too early? Did you not feel the same?

“Mark I-“ he sadly shook his head.

“No, it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. I just..I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I’ve been wanting to say it for months now but I didn’t want to scare you away. I should’ve waited a little bit longer shouldn’t I?”

Seeing his adorable pout made you feel guilty. You’ve been wanting to hear him say those five words for the longest time now. But you knew it was wrong. How could you have let Mark fall in love with you knowing you could not completely give yourself to him the way he deserved? Mark deserved someone who wasn’t already tied down to someone else. Someone with less baggage. Someone who wasn’t already theoretically taken.

“I’m in love with you too Mark.” His frown quickly disappeared as a smile rose on to his handsome face. However, it was quick to disappear again when you said the next words.

“I’m engaged.” When you felt him release his grip from off your waist, you could feel tears brimming at your eyelids. As much as you wanted to relinquish in your newfound love, you couldn’t continue hiding from him. The two of you sat in silence for what felt like hours. You wanted to wait for his reaction to your sudden confession, yet the silence was killing you. All too soon, he stood up and picked up his phone, all the while putting some clothes on.

“Mark..Mark please listen to me..I can explain-“ He let out a sarcastic laugh and scoffed. When you saw his facial expression, another pang of hurt hit your chest. Sure, he looked pissed. He had every right to be. But you’ve been with him long enough to know that he was upset. You had just told your boyfriend that you were engaged to another man and you’ve been keeping it a secret from him for the duration of your relationship. What did you expect?

“Explain? What is there to explain? Is this a fucking game to you y/n? Is my heart a fucking toy? You’re engaged? That’s a joke right? You must be kidding me. How could you..why would you..I can’t even think right now. I can’t do this. I have to go.”

You immediately made your way towards him, reaching out for him but he was quick to push you away. Is this what heartbreak felt like? You were sure of it. It was a feeling you never wanted to experience, but here you were. Hurting the only person who has ever meant anything to you.

“Mark. Please don’t go. I’m sorry. I love you so much-“ he stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at you. It took every bone in his body not to reach out to you and pull you in to his embrace. If there was something Mark hated, it was seeing you cry.

One time, you were being evaluated by the superintendent because she wanted to see how your first year of being a teacher was going so far. At first, you thought things were going quite well. That was until she pulled you to the side and pointed out everything she thought you were doing wrong. When she left, you let everything out and started sobbing. You were so deep in to your crying session that you failed to notice Mark entering your classroom until you felt him pull you in to his chest as he whispered sweet nothings in to your ear. Seeing you so fragile and so weak broke his heart and he vowed to make sure you would never cry again. But you weren’t the victim this time.

“Love me huh. You love me? You’ve been hiding the fact that you have a fiancé from me y/n! You’re engaged! You’re getting married to someone who isn’t me and you failed to inform me about it. That’s some kind of twisted form of love don’t you think?” He roughly pinched the bridge of his nose and released a frustrated sigh. “I wish you would’ve said something earlier. I wouldn’t have let myself fall in love with someone whose practically unavailable. Damnit y/n! How could you do this to me? Fuck. What else are you hiding from me?”

The tears wouldn’t stop falling and you never hated yourself more than you did in that moment. You wanted nothing more than to apologize to him and explain to him the entire situation, but it was too late. The damage was done. He released one more sigh before punching the wall and storming out of his room. Once he left, you sank to the ground and continued your sobbing. You were worried at the thought of him driving while he was so frustrated, but you were the reason he was so upset. No matter how badly you wanted to call him and see if he was okay, you didn’t want to make matters worse.

After a while, you finally calmed down and decided to go to sleep. Since you were in Mark’s apartment, you didn’t feel right sleeping on his bed just in case he were to come home and want to go straight to sleep. Therefore, you made your way to the living room and flopped down on his couch. Soon, you found yourself falling asleep. You woke up in the middle of the night when you felt yourself being picked up and at first you were worried, until you saw him. Even in the dark, you could see the dried up tears and how red his eyes were.

Although you were still a bit sleepy, the thought of him crying made you tear up. Mark was never one to really cry, but when he did you know something was really bothering him.

“Mark-“ he softly placed his finger on your lips in attempts to prevent you from talking and continued carrying you to his room.

“The couch isn’t a good place to sleep. Your back will be sore in the morning.” You looked up at him and hesitantly grazed his cheek with your thumb. To both of your surprise, he leaned in to your palm and placed a soft kiss against it. Once you both entered his room, he placed you gently on his bed before taking his place next to you. You purposely turned the other way just in case he was still mad, but deep down you wanted nothing more than for him to hold you. When you felt him turn you around, a small smile rose upon your face and he brought his hands in to your hair.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve let you explain yourself. I was just upset-“ You shook your head in disagreement. This was one of the many reasons why you were so in love with the beautiful man lying in front of you. Even if you did wrong, he was the one apologizing and wanting to take care of you.

“You have every right to be. I’m so sorry Mark. I didn’t mean to keep this from you, I just..I don’t know. I wanted to be selfish. I didn’t mean to hurt you. And God knows the last thing I wanted to do was make you cry. I’m engaged. But not for the reasons that you think. I’m not cheating on him or anything. He and I..we’re not actually together. Our parents..they’ve been planning this arranged marriage between the two of us before we were both even born.” You released an exhausted sigh and took a while to breathe before continuing.

“Our fathers are both presidents of their own companies and they wanted us to get married in order for both their companies to become more successful. At first, I accepted it. I was always one to listen to what my parents wanted me to do with no questions asked. But then I met you. And I found myself stuck between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to kiss you, hold you, be held by you, love you. I wanted to be yours. So I pushed the thought of the marriage to the back of my mind and put myself first for once. Loving you was the best decision I’ve ever made Mark Tuan.”

Your fingers made their way up to his face and you started absentmindedly tracing his features. “I never knew what love was until I met you. I was willing to risk it all for you, for us to be together. I didn’t care about the consequences that came with going against my parents wishes, especially because this arrangement is set in stone. All I care about is you. All I want, all I know, all I need..is you. I love you. With my entire being. I didn’t mean to keep this from you. I just didn’t want to lose you if you found out and decided you didn’t want to be with me. But that went to shit didn’t it?”

He let out a soft chuckle and you found yourself cuddling closer in to his body. Mark was your safe haven. You always felt so happy, so warm whenever he was around. He could make all your worries and problems go away by just a kiss on your lips. He was your own personal drug and you were at the point where you refused to live without him.

“I don’t know what to do Mark. We’re supposed to be getting married here soon. I don’t want to marry him. I want to be with you.” He brought one hand down to your waist and started caressing your hip bone while tracing your lips with the other one.

“Do you love me?” You quickly nodded. If there was something you were confident in, it was the love you had for Mark.

“More than anything. You know that.” He lowered himself in order to be eye level with you before placing a chaste kiss on the corner of your lip.

“You wanna be with me?”

“For the rest of my life.”

“Do you trust me?”

“With every bone in my body.”

“Would you do something for me then?”

You looked up at him in curiosity before humming in agreement. “Anything.”

He placed his forehead against yours and sighed. “Run away with me.”

The idea of running away from your family upset you. It wasn’t that they mistreated you, nor did you have negative feelings for your family. Sometimes you wish your parents were cold towards you so that the idea of running away and leaving everything behind didn’t bother you. But you did have negative feelings for the arrangement and the thought of running away in order to spend the rest of your days with Mark sent shivers down your spine.

Just like they did all those months ago, red flags started going off in your mind. However, yet again, you found yourself putting yourself first. Looking at Mark, you knew you would do anything and everything he’d ask you to. A part of you didn’t want to upset your parents by not going through with the wedding, but you refused to marry a man you weren’t in love with for the sake of both of your companies. Your dad would just have to find another way of increasing business.

Sure, you were afraid of losing your family, but the man who’s arms were currently wrapped tightly around your waist as if he was afraid to lose you was all the family you needed. Which is why it came as no shock when you found yourself nodding against his lips as he pulled you in to a passionate kiss.

“God y/n, I’m so in love with you. I don’t know where we’ll go or what we’ll do or where we live. All I know is as long as I’m with you, I have everything I need. I’m going to take good care of you baby. I promise.”

#got7 imagines #got7 drabbles #got7 scenarios #got7 mark #mark tuan #mark tuan fluff #mark tuan imagines #mark tuan got7 #kpop imagines #i miss mark so much

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jokerownsmysoul · 5 years ago

Text

“The tragic beauty of a fallen angel”, Joker x Reader // angst

Summary: You can’t fall asleep. You just… can’t. You tried, of course you tried, but you can’t help yourself from staring the love of your life sleeping next to you as if he were a fallen angel. He’s too beautiful for this world, for the whole universe actually, so he distracts you and won’t let you sleep. Also you’re a lil clingy and want to wake him up.

Warnings: mention of male genital and private parts (a few sentences, nothing smut or nsfw, just a bit sensual in a soft way), swearing (only one sentence), mention of past trauma

Word count: 8600ish

A/N: This fic was supposed to be fluffy and short but it turned out the very opposite. I can’t help myself from putting angst everywhere lol. I had a lot of performance anxiety in writing it, I worked on it for two weeks. It was something I kept inside my chest ever since I watched the movie in the theater for the first time so it needed special attention. I hope I did justice to him and to my feelings.

A/N: english is not my first language, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors, I’m still learning.

You tried. You really tried. But it had been a few hours since Joker fell asleep, and you already given up on forcing yourself to do the same, knowing that you wouldn’t sleep that night.

Your eyelids were heavy and you felt in your eyes the physical need to sleep, the burning pupils and – you would have sworn – your eyes had such a dense red color that anyone who looked at you at that moment would understand you were losing several hours of sleep that your body needed. You were perfectly aware that the next day you would have feel in every part of your body the effects that all the lost sleep would have left you, and that you wouldn’t have the physical faculties to face the new day. You imagined what you’d be like the next day, and it seemed like you could already feel it.

As if you were already feeling your wandering mind struggling to bear the weight of an endless day, your eyes so tired that you would have had difficulty keeping them open, your exhausted body standing you up with difficulty and the lack of attention you would have put in every task that was waiting for you. You knew your body was exhausted, yet your mind couldn’t surrender to the rest your body asked you to give it. A small hidden zone in the depths of your mind, a very deep zone, wanted to sleep, but as soon as you closed your eyes a foreign power you couldn’t control from under your eyelids forced you to open them again. And to stare at him.

You listened to this foreign power without too much effort, actually in your heart you didn’t need any force to make you look at him. How could it not be so? The love of your life was sleeping right beside you.

In all those hours you spent staring at him you wondered how it was possible to even imagine, or think of closing your eyes to such a beauty. Why you have to close your eyes to dream when you already had everything you needed in front of your eyes kept open to stare the man who at that very moment was dreaming for both of you?

There was a full moon that night and it reflected its lukewarm light from the glass and curtains of the open window you had forgotten to close a few hours earlier, too busy making love and caressing each other you were. Through the branches of trees shaking on the window on windy nights like that, through the prints of your hands on the glass, which had provided the rhythm of your love a few hours earlier and had still remained in the hot air still floating through the walls the memories of your naked bodies telling each other their secrets, and through the folds of the curtains that were moving sinuously leaded by the wind in an uncoordinated dance, the moon cast its silver light on the room, creating plays of light on the body of the man you loved and who was beside you, enveloping him in an aura of disenchantment which hypnotized you, the same disenchantment that made you fall in love with him every day a little more than the previous one, who kept you up all those hours and wouldn’t let you sleep.

He slept on his back with his head resting on his right arm, which he held folded behind his head, still wearing the nakedness you had left on him the moment you took his clothes off shortly after he returned to your apartment. The lack and hunger you both felt for the other seemed impossible to soften, on the contrary they kept growing more and more and, in particular that day, you had missed each other so much that as soon as Joker had crossed the doorstep your bodies had returned to their place of belonging, right where they were originated and in the only place they resumed working properly.

You ran to Joker and put your arms around his neck, that day you missed him so much that you seemed to rediscover the scent of his long hair, the feeling of his clothes on your hands, the smell of greasepaint you felt when you swam into a kiss so intense that for a few seconds you thought your lips would mix each other. When Joker had moved away enough to look at you, you had noticed his face was full of a hungry smile which left little to the imagination and was enough to understand how much he needed you as you needed him. He put his lips on yours after studying your face, enchanted, and without breaking the kiss you both had reached the bedroom still colored by the warm colors of the sunset, the perfect frame for your love which was being fulfilled.

Throughout the room you could still feel the fragrances of your bodies you had left after making love and which you knew by heart, as a unique poetry written by your fluids to be said quietly in silence through your warm kisses, on the bed you could still see the marks left by the union of your flesh and your sweat as if they were prints of a past dance taken place in the promise of a love you both knew would never end.

The bed was unmade, the blankets had fallen to the ground, each one on a different side of the bed, creating a interweaving of folds and fabrics in which your bodies swam and either of you had bothered to pick them up from the ground; to cover messily only the lower part of your bodies there was only a light white silk sheet and you didn’t care about the fresh that coming from the window froze your bare chest or the wind which grazed your skin making you feel the goose bumps in every part of your skin, because your bodies still kept the warmth of each other. You could still feel the warmth of Joker’s skin on you, so vivid and real that if you closed your eyes, you could still felt him and his weight on your body.

That was one of the rare nights when Joker hadn’t been taken by insomnia, you can tell because since he fell asleep and you had begun to staring at him he hadn’t moved even once, so deeply he was sleeping. A few hours had passed and he was still sleeping on his back, keeping his right leg so bent that the sole of his right foot pressed against his left calf and his right knee pressed against your thighs. Only that slight contact was enough to let the warmth come back to the pit of your stomach, which only he could make grow inside you; even though you had made love a few hours earlier, even though your thighs were touching his right knee, even though he was very close to you, you wanted him. Your body was constantly hungry for him and the desire you felt would never rest, even as you kissed him.

As you kissed him, actually, the desire could only increase. As you felt your skin tingling for the desperate need to feel him again on you, you staring at him.

You looked at him the way you always looked at him, as if you just saw him for the first time in your whole life. As if you had lived so far without your eyes and, in one moment, they absorbed all the sight of the world only to allow you to look at him and to know his appearance. Every time you looked at him, you fell in love with him again.

Every time you laid your eyes on him you noticed new details to love, new anecdotes and stories to keep firmly in your mind that from his soul expanded and reached his body, his lips, his gaze, the look on his face in which it was possible to read each one of his experiences. His soul had a past which had marked him in the depths leaving his marks, and it was impossible to make sure these marks didn’t emerge also from his appearance, you could read them all just by looking at him from afar. You knew your eyes would never get used to such an invasive beauty.

The sheet was covering his feet and his legs, and through the loose folds that made their space between his thighs it also covered the left half of his pelvis and the genital whose shape and profile, however, could be seen very well even from above the sheet since illuminated by the moon it created around his genital shadows which delineated its shape, like one of those slideshow that are visible in the sunlight. Or in the moonlight, in this case. A slideshow you knew well. The right half of his pelvis, the groin and part of the crotch were clearly visible and you could see the pubic hair which had remained uncovered freeing from the grip of the sheet, whose extremities had by now bent so irregularly that had fallen to the ground, leaving the rest of his body uncovered.

Still lying on the left side of your body, you approached towards him the right arm you had free and you began to caress with your fingers his pubic curls, giving in to the desperate desire you had of his skin. You knew that when Joker wasn’t caught by insomnia like that night he was deeply sleeping and it wasn’t easy to wake him up, but while you were playing with his pubic curls, rubbing them between your fingers and twirling them around your index finger with a gentle touch, you heard a soft moan coming out of his lips that made you chuckle on your lips. You touched him so gently that it almost looked like you weren’t touching him at all, but it was so.

You felt it from the warmth at your core and from the goosebumps you felt on your skin, which was certainly not caused by the cold, and he felt it too, he was making you understand it through that sweet moan. Even in his deep sleep Joker could feel your touch, you both knew nothing would have stopped him from feeling your hands touching him, not even the nights in which he slept so heavenly, like that night.

You approached with your hand towards the pelvis tracing his V shaped pads clearly visible, made even more evident by the position in which he was sleeping. The right side of his pelvis and the rest of his body were naked but the moon illuminating it made his nakedness look like he was covering by an invisible star fabric formed by this dazzling light coming from the sky. His moonlight skin gave the impression he was made of diamonds, and he was so thin that you could see his veins which, illuminated by the moon, looked light blue color.

It was as if the whole universe had agreed to reside within and around him. His skin glittered thanks to the moonlight mantle that made his body sculptural, and looking at him you thought he really looked like a marble sculpture of classicism.

Anyone who looked at him at that moment would have thought he was from another world, he was a fallen angel who, after absorbing all the dazzling beauty of the universe, had come to earth to make known to every living being the beauty existing in the world, and never forget it.

On his torso, illuminated by the moonlight, were clearly visible the shadows projected by the branches that the wind rattled between them. You watched those shadows dancing together on his moonlike skin and you thought that dance made his body the perfect dance floor on which danced not only the shadows of those branches, but also the shadows of the folds formed by the blankets and by the curtains which, as they fluttered through the air leaded by the wind, reflected on him their sinuous movements. Their shadows seemed to caress him from afar like veils in the twilight ready to protect him from any cold, even from the cold of his nightmares, you thought, used to see him frozen every time he was hit by them. And like those tents made of shadow, you also protected him from his nightmares. After all this time spent loving each other and building a relationship together, you had now managed to get inside his mind and insinuate yourself into his dark dreams so you could soften even the part of him which no one else but you could reach, and he wasn’t drowned yet thanks to you.

The full moon that night was so big and impressive that Joker’s skin had turned white and blue, and looking at that dance of shadows on his stomach you noticed the shadows, very dark, were in complete contrast to his body that looked like it was made of snow. You watched the cadence of his chest rising and falling in a sensual dance as he breathed, as if life wanted to explode in his chest and go out, rip open the sky and rejoin the rest of the universe.

At that moment, with the snowy body illuminated by the moon and the game of shadows, his beauty was so disarming that he seemed otherwordly.

With his eyes closed in search of certainties, swinging between dream and reality with the traces of a dream still kneaded under his eyelids, it seemed like he looked at himself inside his dream, coming to life again, and becoming something else, covering with his grace not only your existence, but the whole world.

You staring at him and wondered how a man of such ethereal beauty could exist. You were out of breath, your hands were shaking and you wondered how a man of such ethereal beauty could love you in such a visceral way.

And you, on your side, loved him in the same visceral way. In your whole life you never thought you could experience love, let alone live a love as intense as the one you had between you.

He lived in everything you could perceive through the senses, he lived out of time and space and in your heart. He surrounded you everywhere, and you could feel him everywhere. You loved him with every part of your soul, your whole life bore his name. You loved him and loved all the things around him which were part of his life, for the very reason that they made him the person he was.

Sure you wanted to see him happy and you wanted to see him smile by the heart, yet you loved what made him the person he was; if he had been different he wouldn’t have been the man you fell in love with, and you would never want him in any other way. You loved him and so you loved the part of the world he filled, in which you were, too.

The love between you wasn’t only helping Joker to make peace with his darkness, he was also teaching you to love yourself. You loved each other and by loving you, each of you was teaching the other to love himself in the same way, and you would never stop doing so.

You loved him so much, and you felt your soul acting so synergistically with his, that you wanted to be his veins to run through him and travel him entirely, blend and reside in him, and never leave him. Ever since the first time you saw him you knew, you just knew, that you would never walk away from him and that your whole life would never get used to living again just by yourself, without the love of your life.

Your mind was enchanted by his beauty while with your fingertips you tried to follow the movements of the curtains projected on his stomach. You tried to keep your fingers right on the outlines of the shadows, letting the fingertips dance with them by caressing him around the belly button, on his soft tummy, on the dark line its short and soft hairs formed under the belly button, on the stomach and on his ribs, but they were moving so fast that keeping up with their dance without waking him up with a start was almost impossible. You had always had a soft spot for his tummy, and it was so soft and warm to the touch that you couldn’t help but slowly approach him and print a light kiss right under the belly button, brushing your lips on it and keeping them for a few seconds still on his skin to inebriate you with his scent, on which you could still recognize yours, and trying to get that smell into your nose, inside you to the soul.

The scent of his skin was sweet and genuine but intense, strong yet pleasant, just like he was, and the first time you smelt it, a long time ago, you knew right away you were already addicted to it. You print another light kiss on his skin and with your mouth traced the dark line formed by his hair under the belly button, before you heard another moan coming from his lips and you missed another chuckle on your lips, as you walked away to resume the position you had before and keep staring at him, hypnotized. Your attempts to wake him up in the sweetest of ways were working, even though that night he was a heavy sleeper and it would take longer than usual. Yet it didn’t matter, you had literally all night to do so.

He was so skinny that his raised bones seemed to expand this play of lights and shadows that was happening on him: his protruding ribs were creating from the skin grooves along the sides of his body, and to their base formed curious shadow lines, which followed his curves and shortly after shuffled to the glow of the rest of the body in an imperceptible shade. You put your fingertips on those grooves and traced gently their outlines as if you were touching a crystal that could break at any moment. Your fingers followed these outlines his body created through the bones, they were so prominent that their shape reminded you of the same shape of the mountains and you could clearly see your hand rising and falling as it imitated the shape of those ribs that you had caressed so many other times.

The base of his sternum was evident too in the same way and inclined his skin creating a soft hill right in the center of the torso, surrounded by a shadow circle which contrasted the rest of the stomach which being completely relaxed left the skin smooth, not allowing to distinguish further shadows except those of the curtains still dancing on his skin. You put the index finger on the tip of his sternum stretched upwards and followed it all around, drawing a line with your finger from the sternum base and back to the belly button and his tummy. You expected another moan coming from his lips as he had before, but you noticed he kept sleeping heavenly.

You didn’t know if it was because your touch was too light, because he was exhausted after making love or because he was a heavy sleeper that night, but you noticed that in all that time you had followed with your fingers every curve and groove his body formed through the skin and bones, he hadn’t woken up. You smiled, thinking that at this point you could have gone a little further with the caresses and at best he would moan again, considering how heavy his sleep was that night.

You approached him again and explored his skin but this time with your mouth, drawing wet circles with your tongue on his tummy and around his belly button as you got closer to reach the profile of his ribs and leave soft kisses on every groove they formed.

Then you started doing the same with his tense muscles that were creating on his body a labyrinth of contractions, swollen veins and flexions muscle in which you wanted to lose yourself, without ever coming out again. They drew and traveled through his body making him look like a gothic stained glass window, whose glass shapes and expands their colors in the church, producing a suggestive atmosphere. At the sight of that piece of art you felt a shiver running all over your body. As you ran your tongue over his skin, you noticed his breathing became rapid. He was feeling you.

Now more than ever you wanted to bring out from those kisses all the love, the devotion you felt for him. You kissed every protruding bone, every rib, every tense muscle and every bruise you encountered along the way. You always wondered how a body so fragile and tormented as his could bear a soul so strong, which every day had to handle a load of fears and traumas so deep and overwhelming.

You knew well the darkness resided within him, but although the moon made his skin so white that it seemed made of snow, never as at that moment his darkness seemed to overwhelm him, never had you seen it so tangible that you can look it into his eyes. The colors of the night dressed him so well at that moment, and he was so ethereal, that you were convinced the night was passing only to be the frame of his existence, and the whole world was created only to welcome him, the fragile but very strong man who slept beside you.

People hadn’t been good to him, but the way the sky covered him, the way the moon illuminated him and the way the shadows projected were still dancing on him, allowed you to think that the universe, on the other hand, really loved him, that the moon seemed to have been created only to be able to rest on his body while he was dreaming, and that the sunset which had seen him come back home and watched you making love had been the way the universe had blushed before his presence as a king, the same way you blushed when he grabbed you and kissed you passionately with his provocative look, that you loved so much and made you blush every time.

Nature was resting on him perfectly matching his body, and by looking how well Joker could wear the night was happening in front of your eyes still red, as a result of all the hours of lost sleep, you thought if only people had been even half as kind to him as the universe was loving him at that precise moment, he would have had a better life and a heart free of all burden, he would have had someone beside him who would have helped him to carry it. Now, anyway, he had you, and you were helping him.

You laid another white kiss on his stomach before you reached up what had been your main goal all that time: his chest. His chest looked like a snowy white meadow in which his shiny black hairs stood out like thin black flowers which surrounded his nipples and created a perfect circle around them, projecting shadows on his skin so small that you could only see them coming very close, and they seemed to walk moved thanks to his chest rising and falling by the measured rhythm of his hot breath. You started to sow light kisses on his chest, on his nipples, on the soft hair which tickling your nose made you smile every time you came close to kiss his fragrant skin.

You realized he was waking up when you heard him moving, slowly but enough to notice it, another moan came out of his lips and you smiled to yourself; you would never have enough of the moans he let out every time you touch him. He moved so imperceptibly that he still held the same supine position he had before, and you drew an imaginary line with your lips from his chest to his right arm, which he still held bent to support his head, and then popped a kiss on his bicep, right where you could see the flexed muscle. Joker was a very skinny but muscular man and his outlined and clearly visible tense muscles had always made you lose your mind. Another moan came out of his lips, this time deeper and stronger than the previous ones, when you brought your lips on his neck, you nibbled on his skin and kissed, clawed with your teeth every spot you could reach with your mouth. He was waking up.

By now you were so close to him that half of your torso was touching his body and looking at his face you could see every little detail, even those which seemed invisible. The messy way the paint faded on his face made you smile, noticing that he still bore the marks of your union.

There were areas where the sweat had completely erased it, other areas where it was smudged and the colors mixed between them. Also were visible the prints of your mouth on his face that you had left kissing him after he had transferred his own paint to your lips. His face looked like a canvas which your lips and his sweat had painted together while making love, ruining his makeup and transferring it to you, since you knew that your face was also marked by the red prints of his lips and the paint from him had moved on you while you were mixing one another, painting you in the same smudged way. Joker loved to see his greasepaint on you, it was one of his many ways to let you know that you were his, that he lingered inside you and that, deep down, you shared one soul. You were so connected that seeing his identity on your skin helped him to be nicer to himself.

Despite the smudged paint and the colors mixed between them his skin was still visible. His soft features stood out by the look and details on his face, which was marked by everything he had been through in his life. He was young, yet in the face with soft features there was still an inner torment emerging from every corner of his skin marked not only by time but also by pain itself. He radiated a beauty so tragic and painful that while staring at him you were overwhelmed by a magnetic force which hypnotized you, leaving you speechless. Every time you looked at him, you wondered how a man who lived so much pain could be so beautiful that he look like an angel. Joker had the same overwhelming beauty of atmospheric phenomena, just as thunderstorms or volcanic eruptions, which frighten with their destructive power but from whom it’s impossible not to be attracted.

Disenchantment was the word that came into your mind as you were staring at him. His face was pointed out by the green curls which falling messily on the pillow remembered the solemn mane of a werewolf, he floated in the moonlight like a wild animal and the moon dressed him so well that, while looking at his snowy skin standing out his sculptural body and his face, you weren’t surprised to see before you the majestic werewolf who had always lived within him occupying the room and who had emerged and went wild to protect himself from a world that had never shown any compassion for his soul, which only deserved someone to hold his hands and help him to stand up when the rest of the world walked right over him without even seeing him on the sidewalk. His soul deserved only love, and you’ve always made sure he felt your love so in order to fill that lack.

With your index finger you followed the shape and the curves of his lips parted in a smile while he was sleeping and you brushed your fingertip against every bound, every pads and every wrinkle which completed that wonderful painting, every little imperfection you noticed on his body which you loved with all of yourself. The pores on his skin, the deep and rough expression wrinkles on the sides of his mouth, still reddened by the paint, on which you adored to lay your lips, the little soft folds on his chin, the defined lines around the eyes deepening everytime he smiled or was angry, for which you had always had a soft spot, and his unspeakable scar that ran through the cupid’s bow and landed on the upper lip, making his lips even more beautiful and making you feel in your heart a desperate desire to kiss him, a desire you couldn’t resist.

You got closer to him and started rubbing his face with soft kisses touching him gently so you wouldn’t wake him up, not yet. You kissed his cheeks, the lines which delineated its bags under his eyes, his nose, the vein on his forehead which become swollen every time he gets angry, his chin, the wrinkles around his eyes on which you adore to put your tongue, the scar, the closed eyelids. You hoped that by kissing his eyelids you could also kiss the dream he was having, which had kept him away from you in all that time and had not allowed him to wake up and reach you. At other times you wished you could follow him in his dreams with your own body to physically protect him from the monsters he met and from whom you couldn’t protect him, not as you would have done in reality, at least, but this time, considering the smile on his lips while he was sleeping, you were sure he was having a good dream and whatever he was dreaming about it wasn’t hurting him. The sweet smell of his skin mixed with the pungent smell of the paint and his touch were everywhere around you, so close that you were amazed to be still inside your body and not inside him.

Your desire to wake him up was getting deeper as you kissed and smelt every part of his face, then finally you devoted yourself entirely to the corners of his mouth which you filled with little kisses, over and over until Joker turned his head towards you with a desperate whimper, still with his eyes closed, but you didn’t need him to open his eyes to look at him. You knew his eyes, they were inside you, and even though his eyelids were closed, even though it was late at night, at that very moment you could see their characteristic sparkle as if he was looking straight into your eyes in full light. His eyes were closed, but you knew he was awake.

You let out a little giggle knowing exactly what that movement meant and what he wanted, and by bringing your lips on his lips you satisfied him, so panting of your touch he was.

Still with his eyes closed and not fully awake he followed the motion of your lips in that kiss without too much effort, as if his body was fully aware of what to do of his own free will even when he was asleep and couldn’t guide his moves, while he gradually regained consciousness. At the beginning you had just place your lips on his but the more he woke up, the more he deepened the kiss and the more he opened his warm and soft lips to explore your mouth with his tongue.

Your faces were so close that his thick eyebrows grazed against your forehead and your eyelashes intertwined and hugged each other in a way that tickled your eyes, making you smile in that kiss. You no longer felt the cold, the sheets, you no longer felt the world around you. There was just him, his hot, wet mouth, and his desperate body searching of you.

“What a lovely awakening. What’s up, little doll?” He interrupted the kiss to catch his breath and by placing a rebel strand of your hair behind your right ear he caressed your right cheek, a worried look and a patient smile decorated his still sleepy face. His first thought had been to check if you were okay, many were the times you had woken him up because you had a nightmare or the anxiety didn’t make you sleep.

“Nothin’. I’m just watching you sleep.” You were still out of breath for that long kiss when you answered him casually and acting childlike and innocent, as if until now you had really only looked at him, pretending not to know what his answer would have been. Joker’s taut muscles relaxed and freed him from worry, his sweet and understanding smile he had before turned into his iconic smirk at the exact moment he realized you were fine.

“This is just watching?” you were just playful, he thought while passing through his mind every caress and every kiss he had felt in his sleep. He had felt everything perfectly, and you both knew it.

“It can be, considering what I would have done to you if you were awake. Did it bother you or something?” Without losing that innocent attitude you brushed distractedly your index finger against his chest, fully aware of the effects that gesture had had on him just before, to make him remember what your touch was like. He certainly hadn’t forgotten what it was like or what you did to him while he was sleeping, but seeing him awake didn’t stop you from still tease him. Joker’s smirk was getting brighter as he delighted of the way you were so clingy that you provoked him without any inhibition; after all, he still was a man who liked to feel wanted, even when he had a smirk on his face with which he wanted to hide the tenderness he felt to the core, as at that time. But you didn’t need to see it on his face to know it was there, and that from his core it had spread in his whole body.

“Not at all. I should be a heavy sleeper more often.” The contrast of his smirk which stood out in his face still softened by the drowsiness made you see both the shades that resided in him, Arthur and Joker, and it had satisfied you for all the hours you spent patient waiting for him to wake up. Joker’s attempt to answer to your provocations caused a shy laugh to come out of your mouth as you settle more comfortably on him, your abdomen and chest pressed against his torso, your legs tangled with his as if they were your fingers. With your right hand you resumed studying every detail of his face, just as you had done so far, bringing out of his mouth a sound of appreciation and planted the left palm on his chest to support your chin and staring at him intensely. He was so beautiful he confused you. “I wouldn’t mind. What were you dreaming about? You smiled in your sleep.”

“So nosy is my little doll.” He was lost in thought while playing with your hair, he wanted to keep his dream still in his mind for a few more minutes; usually for Joker it was so complicated to speaking from the heart and talking about himself, he was so accustomed to never having anyone who was really interested in him and in what he had to say, that now he was used to keep silent and in these moments he needed to stop for a moment and find the courage to confide to you what was inside of him.

But he loved you as he had never loved any human being before you, and with you, he could always find that courage. Shortly after he looked at you in the eyes to answer you, what he was going to say was so important that you didn’t have to hear it only by voice, you had to read it also in his eyes. You had to hear it in any way you could. “I was dreaming of you.” His smirk was still on his face but he had watery eyes full of love and gratitude. You would never stop reading the emotions in his eyes, even though he tried to hide them with his smirk; and he knew it, too.

A smirk which at that moment, to your surprise, had turned into a smile which had highlighted the wrinkles around his mouth and his dimples had become deeper, and you couldn’t help but fill them up by putting your index finger on them and caressing them gently to enjoy every little detail you could feel with that touch. The softness of the skin, the warmth it radiated, the folds which were even more highlighted by the paint, every rough pore of his skin you wanted to kiss. You savored through that contact every detail which made him your Joker. “Really?”

He took your right hand with which you were inspecting his cheek and his left dimple and placed a light kiss right on the palm, now covered with the paint that had stained both your hands by caressing and brushing his face until then. He closed his eyes and lingered to answer as he felt on your hand the taste of the same greasepaint he had painted on himself that morning. He was savoring the sensation of your skin on his lips just like you did and feeling their touch on a sensitive part as the palm tickled you, making you giggle. With that kiss, he wanted to point out how much it meant to him to have dreamed of you that night.

He didn’t very often have good dreams; his insomnia didn’t make him sleep and the few times when he could do it his sleep was light, intermittent, and his dreams were always nightmare about his torments. That’s why you wished you could enter into his eyes while he was sleeping and protect him from his own mind, which didn’t allow him to find serenity even in his sleep. But he was telling you at that moment that you had always protected him even though you thought otherwise, all he needed was only to feel your presence sleeping beside him. He was telling you that on the rare nights he could have good dreams, the only thing he dreamed of was you. You were all his happy dreams, his only happy dream.

“Really. I was dreaming of you and me. What about you? How long have you been awake?” He knew how important it was for you to sleep and your burning eyes made him think you’d been awake for a long time. “Actually…” you said, with a guilty look and your eyes kept fixed on his clenched jaw, “I haven’t slept at all.”

“Have you been awake this whole time?” Even in the dark you could see the shimmer of his surprised eyes and the folds you knew had formed in the center of his forehead in a frowning expression, as he placed his hand under your chin to look you in the eyes and study you. “Yeah, of course you were. I can tell by your red eyes.” He placed his soft left hand on your cheek and with his callous thumb caressed your eyelids, the area under your eyes and your dark circles, hoping that with the care of his touch he could remove the fatigue from your face. “My wakey girl.” That funny nickname got a smile out of you and made him smile, too, while he was noticing that you didn’t look tired at all for all the hours of lost sleep, but was clear that your body was because it readed in your face all the fatigue that your mind didn’t feel, so he brought both his hands on your cheeks to caress them, and muffle the tiredness of your red eyes and your taut cheeks.

“You know how essential is for you to sleep. You look very tired, and your eyes are red.” He said gently, but in a reprimand expression. Joker cared about your well-being more than you did, and he knew that the day after those hours of lost sleep would weigh on your tired mind like boulders. He couldn’t stand it when you neglected you and didn’t take care of yourself. His thoughtful gaze and his raised brow with which he reproached you made you laugh. “I know, it’s because I watched you too much.” Your voice was naive and childlike and you purred by rubbing your cheeks on his hands which were still stroking your face, looking for his contact that was never enough for you.

The frowning expression of Joker had disappeared, his wrinkles and his brow were relaxed and returned to his typical playful smirk, encouraging that roleplay you had started. “Oh yeah? That’s it?” “That’s it. I watched you so long that your red paint even colored my eyes, not only my face. You’re my personal paintbrush.” You smiled softly and Joker could read all the love you felt for him, it came out of every part of you, and those words were really meant even though the playful voice you had at that moment.

He let out a sweet laugh from his mouth as he noticed that, actually, at that moment you had more paint on you than he did. “It’s because you’re my favorite canvas, my greasepaint looks better on you.” You blushed making a funny face and your attention has once again returned to the curves of his face, which you studied with your index finger and you had returned to look hypnotized, just as you had done during the night.

“I love your dimples and your wrinkles,” you said lost in thought, kissing them and then keeping to inspect his face. You put your fingertip on his scar, “and I love your pretty scar,” you kissed the scar, and you carried your fingertip on his nose, “and your nose, so cute…” you bit his nose softly and rubbing the hollow of the bags under is eyes, and now your fingertip was on his eyebrows and eyelids, which he closed revel in your touch, “and your eyebrows, and your stunning eyes”, you kissed his eyebrows and his eyes, then his wrinkles all around them and you continue this game until you pointed and kissed everything on his face while feeling him giggle under your lips between one kiss and another. That night you already told him everything you loved about him while he was sleeping, but a part of you needed to tell him even when he was awake. And you knew he needed it more than you.

Joker on the outside looked like a colorful flower which diverted attention from his gray roots that no one could see, that had been uprooted, trampled, left on the ground, and had never been picked by anyone. They never had the chance to be cultivated again and grow stronger. It was you who noticed his colorful petals, and it was you too who noticed that under his bright-colored suit was hiding the same man he had always been, a man full of pain so accustomed to never receive love that had convinced himself he didn’t really deserve it. It was you who picked up his broken and fragile roots and watered them every day with your love so they could blossom again.

Joker thought he didn’t deserve you, that he was one of those souls who just no longer have hope. He thought that sooner or later you would have know his darkness as well as he did, and you would have been scared, leaving him to that loneliness he thought he was destined for. If people didn’t love me when I was Arthur, how could they love me now? You heard him talking in the night, when insomnia didn’t allow him to sleep and his mind was tangled with his heavy thoughts. But you knew his darkness a long time ago, and when you saw it, it was the one which made you fall even more in love with him. Darkness cannot be seen without also seeing the light. Where there was darkness, there was light and where there was light, there was darkness. You never could see them separated.

In the same way, he wasn’t Arthur who turned into Joker, he was always the same man to you, and he’s the only man you’ve ever loved in your life. Just like light and darkness, you couldn’t see Arthur without seeing Joker, you couldn’t see Joker without seeing Arthur. They coexist.

And if one day the darkness would take over and that light would fade leaving only a glow, you would have loved him anyway. You’ve always loved one man, no matter what he wanted to be called.

When you get done the list of things to kiss on his face, you put your hand on his hair and caressed them gently, rubbing soft circles of his hair around your fingers. “You’re so beautiful. You know that, right?” You saw his dimples get deeper and deeper when Joker giggled clumsily as you passed your fingers through his hair. Joker would never get used to compliments, even if they were yours. People had laughed at him, called him a freak, avoided him, he had been jumped and left bleeding on the ground. No one ever complimented him, no one ever cared about him before you.

He would never get used to the idea that someone found him beautiful, that someone even wanted to look at him, to see him, and each time he didn’t know how to answer because he just didn’t believe it was true. He lowered his eyes and remained silent, you knew his face better than yours and you knew that at that moment his torments were coming back like a river in flood.

“Joker, hey, I really meant it. Sweetheart, you are beautiful. Your beauty is otherworldly, and your soul… damn, your soul… is even more beautiful than your look, my love. Please, look at me.” You lifted up his face by putting your index finger on his chin and looked him in the eyes, so close to yours that his gaze has disoriented you, so broken that your heart suffered with them. “Joker, you’re the only man I’ve ever loved, and you’re the only man I’ll ever love in my whole life. And if there are other lives after this, I’ll love you in each one of them, too. Your soul is beautiful. It was beautiful when you were Arthur, and it’s beautiful now that you’re Joker, you know why?” He answered you by moving his head from both sides without saying anything, letting you to speak. You understood him anyway.

“It has never changed, that’s why. It’s always the same and you are the same. I know you don’t think any of that is true, and I know that telling you every day won’t change your mind, and…” The love you felt for this human being who had never been loved and had difficulty in recognizing that someone could love him, especially after what he had done, was so deep that it hurt you and you couldn’t speak without your voice being broken. “I know… I know, my love, that you’re afraid of what you’ve become, and I know that the love I feel for you won’t make all of your fears disappear by magic… but tonight let me explain to you how beautiful your whole being is, and try to believe me, can you do this for me? For yourself? Can you love yourself tonight like I did so far while you were sleeping?” Joker felt his watery eyes full of tears that he was trying to hold back and didn’t know how to answer those words. “I… Y/N, I… I can do this, doll.” You smiled tenderly and kissed him softly.

“I love you more than my own life. Than my own lives.” You told him, stroking his left cheek. “Y/N.” He wrapped your face with both hands and looked at you so deeply, so long that his intense gaze right inside your eyes put you in awe. “You are my lives.” And then he put his lips back on yours and kissed you hard, making sure that the few traces of paint that were still left on him transferred on your face like the rest of the make up.

He didn’t say much after what you told him, but you knew that in every kiss he gave you, in every caress and while you were making love again that night, through the exchange of your bodies he had told you a thousand, million times I love you, thank you for being close to me. Just like you did when he was sleeping.

That night you told him everything you loved about him, gave all of yourself to the man of your life and loved him through your touch, your kisses, your words. Your presence was beating for him, just for him. Through every part of your body, every way you could touch it, you made him feel loved.

And the universe had also loved him, through the moon, through the shadows projected upon his body, through the sunset that had seen your love blooming on your bed.

Now you wanted him to love himself just like you did in all those hours, even for one night. Maybe, night after night, one day he would forgive himself for faults he never had, but they were faults he believed he had and you couldn’t take this thought out of his mind. Only he could, but you would have been beside him anyway, for all your life. For each of your lives.

That night you couldn’t sleep for how beautiful he was and how much his soul seemed to hover inside the room and have a weight. There’s a beauty in Joker that you never could explain, seeing it is enough for you, it’s always there; an innate grace that emerged from the way he moves or dances, from the way he exists; an elegance he didn’t even try to have, he always had inside of him and that’s all.

He had inside him the sophistication of things that were broken but are being recomposed by the same pain that broke them at the first place, a gentleness so subtle and rare that few people could see it.

His was a tragic beauty that only those who have experienced the pain can have, an all-embracing beauty which hypnotized you every time you laid your eyes on him. How a man who lived so much pain could be so beautiful that he look like a fallen angel you never knew, and you probably don’t need to know. Certain beauties can’t be explained, you have to keep them safe to prevent them from being violated. Certain beauties must be kept secret and guarded, and his beauty is one of them.

Certain beauties are so pure and ethereal that only those who know the same pain can recognize them; but whoever saw it, you were sure, would never forget such a beauty, just like you wouldn’t have forgotten. You surely don’t.

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i-think-i-luv-ya · 4 years ago

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Gunshot - KARD M/V Review Rant

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I’m at it again with another so called review, when in reality its just a whole essay on my thoughts of my favorite artist’s comebacks, aka a rant lol. If you haven’t seen Gunshot, GO WATCH IT! I promise it’s amazing and this is one of their best songs/videos/comebacks etc. I have attached the video so no excuses! Also this is a lot of spoilers so don’t read this first it will ruin the shock and awe that is this video. And putting the “keep reading” to contain said spoilers and so ya’ll who don’t wanna read this don’t have to scroll endlessly to reach the end of my rambling.

Hi! Hello! Thank you for continuing reading! Lolol my Taemin 2KIDZ review actually got notes which was surprising, so hope you guys like this. I have a lot to say so here we go...

So first I wanna start on the meaning of the song. On his VLIVE BM said the song is about verbal abuse and how detrimental it can be to your mental health. Considering many pop songs, especially kpop, are all very cheery and upbeat I applaud them for covering such a serious topic in a way that’s not sad and slow. PLUS BM is creating new merch called healers where everything will be donated to an organization that fights against bullying (including homophobia and racism) which is incredible so be sure to check that out when it’s dropped.

So on that note I wanna get into the song itself. Let’s start with lyrics. The song starts with the words “LOVE damn 4 letters” like what a perfect way to start a song. Also the way they blend a lot more English into this song is something I love as a non-Korean speaker. Plus the parts in English are so powerful? Well so are the Korean lyrics. Like KARD you guys just went hard with this whole song. The chorus is literally “You words are like a gunshot, I’m bleeding love”. Just wow. That definitely describes verbal abuse perfectly, especially coming from those you love because it’s those cruel words from loved ones that hurt the most. I mean “the words you spit out kill me like bullets”, how else is there to describe that pain because it fucking sucks. Other lyrics that just show the words are coming from the one you love: “As long as you love me, the good or the ugly, everything is okay” as well as “I won’t surrender my darling”. And this relationship is obviously toxic with words like “Selfish I will never be enough even when I pour out all of myself” and “It’s like you control me, without you I’m lonely” and “So far you’ve concealed the true color” and “Without you dying slowly”. And they clearly have had enough with this abuse with lyrics like “Need to drag myself out of there, remove you from my life, take off the tag you” and “They hit me like a gunshot, I’ve bled enough”.

Now into the sound of the song. It has all the classic KARD elements: it has a powerful sound with the instrumentals, it’s faced paced, it’s something you can dance to, and it has that chorus that slows down then just picks up again. But this song just sounds very different than anything they’ve released before? Not in a bad way, since this is probably one of their best songs. Between the lyrics, the vocals, and the overall sound where the music just doesn’t completely take over like in some of their other songs. Don’t get me wrong I love songs like BOMB BOMB, but it was very loud and a lot happening in the song at once. Which isn’t a bad thing, cuz that’s like the perfect club song. But with this song (and the whole album really) it shows them refining their sound. Also they had a lot more involvement with this song, especially BM who did everything from lyrics to producing which probably has a lot to do with it. The music itself just goes perfectly with the vocals. Just the flow is really nice, and the beat is fun, and them gun shots really just add to it. And can we talk about that breakdown when BM is like “1 shot, 2 shot, 3 shot, 4″? Like what??!! Those sirens and everything just ramps up just before it ends, like yaasssss.

Now the music video! It starts with Jiwoo zipping up a body bag...which just sets the tone for the video cuz it’s like ok this is how it starts lets see how tf we got here. Then you find out at the end it Jiwoo zipping up the body bag of...well Jiwoo lol like WHAT THE FUCK?! (I’ll get into this here in a sec). Anyway in terms of the video it also has some classic KARD elements like the choreography that’s very intense and dramatic, the bright colors, the flashes and lasers, some crazy stuff happening, and some really cool props and visuals (not just the members lol). Other common stuff is the piles of technology surrounding them, especially J.seph. Like in Red Moon, there’s cameras and old televisions around them. This time the video starts with them being surrounded by cameras and J.seph has a pile of old computer monitors. There may be some meaning with this, but I don’t get it but think it’s an interesting theme. Perhaps its an analogy for them being constantly watched and put on every screen, like showing a darker side of being a celebrity (also will get into this in a minute when I talk about interesting interpretations and theories).

Also this video gave me suicide squad vibes. Like Jiwoo with them pony tails and the way her makeup was done resembled Harley Quinn. And idk BM gave me Joker vibes (may be due to the coloring of his teeth), BUT he also gave me Harley vibes with the blue and pink coloring of his blonde hair (which is just an amazing look for him). Then BM was just covering everything in black, Jiwoo is just fucking shit up, Somin is ready to cut a bitch, and J.seph is burning shit up as usual (just like BOMB BOMB, so another parallel). Everyone looked good in this video...like they are all such great visuals. Somin looked like a queen as always with the jewelry and everything (they always do that and she looks stunning). Jiwoo pulls of that outfit with those threads everywhere, like that would drive me crazy yet she looks amazing. Blonde BM is truly a look. And J.seph? I think this was the best he’s looked in any video...maybe its the dark hair and clothes paired with those light contacts that just make his eyes stand out. Idk but looks good, all of them! Even with all those slashes to their faces! Also this video is a lot less sexualized, especially with the girls but that’s a whole other topic for another day.

So we know this song is about verbal abuse. I talked about how it could be from someone you love. Obviously the cuts on their faces are caused by the words and pain inflicted on them, until eventually its more than just lashes but a full on gunshot killing them completely. An interesting theory I read is this is a song to their fans, or really people just leaving hate comments. Again you can draw from the cameras and screens how their whole life is recorded, and how they are trying their best pouring their heart and soul into their music when they get all this hate and criticism. So these “shots” hurt the most when it comes from their fans. Also going with this concept, Jiwoo shooting herself could be killing who she is to be who they want her to be. Although there’s so many interpretations, especially to the ending. Like it could be her killing the weaker and darker part of herself (like the part of herself willing to put up with the abuse out of love), so by killing that part of her she is free. BUT, could this “winner” be that dark part of herself killing who she used to be? This could also be killing that pain, but by embracing it and letting it morph you into something darker like a person embracing that evil and using it to make themselves stronger and protect themselves. OR she is causing this pain on herself, it’s her own words are the insecurities and lack of love to herself that is affecting her until she ends up just killing herself (not literally but figuratively). Idk so many ideas and interpretations to the ending alone. Plus we have them all just spreading this darkness and anger (like BM literally painting everything black, which is symbolic into spreading darkness). But ya this video was amazing, the visuals were stunning and the song is just great.

The rest of the album (all 2 songs...hope they release more) was just as incredible. Hold On is a farewell to J.seph who will be enlisting soon, and omg that made me cry. So J.seph you better keep your promise and return soon because we’ll be holding on and waiting for you babe! This song was also really slow (at least for a KARD song) which just shows you they can be diverse in their music. Plus just the contrast of the verses (which are just super powerful) with the chorus (which is very melodic) was great. And with AH EE YAH, like that was so nice to listen to and its a cool mix between old music with that beat it starts with, to newer music especially with the way they rap. So, shows they have a lot of influences and it also shows a different side to KARD.

Overall I think it’s a great comeback (idk what else they have planned but hoping for some new stuff because I’ve missed them so much). Please go show support and stream Gunshot and listen to the mini album! They are so talented and deserve so much more recognition. They have such hope with this comeback, but yet they still are like “we’re never gonna be number 1″ and that just breaks my heart. So show your support, hopefully they can get a win this year or just something big happen for them because they deserve it!! So that is the end of my rant...back to watching this video for the 100th time we go!!

#let me know what you think if you read my entire paper lol #alyssa kpop rant #BM #j.seph #jeon somin #jeon jiwoo #kard #hidden kard #kpop #gunshot #gunshot kard #kard comeback #bm kard #j.seph kard #jiwoo kard #somin kard

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miss-nerd-alert · 5 years ago

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10 Questions Tag

I got tagged by @sophielovesbooks, thanks for the follow!

Rules: answer ten questions, ask another ten, and tag ten people

1. Do you have a writing routine?

Not really, I just make a point to try and write something every day. It doesn’t have to be long, doesn’t have to be part of whatever story I’m working on, it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to exist. I have a notebook set aside for jotting down whatever random Idea comes to me throughout the day, you never know if it could be just what your story needs.

2. Music on or off?

Depends on what I’m writing, what kind of mood I’m in, and what I’m listening to. For more action-packed scenes, I’ll listen to stuff like Barns Courtney, Skillet, or Two Steps From Hell; for more dialogue-heavy scenes I might listen to classical music or ambient soundtracks (I reccommend tabletopaudio.com, if you’re interested). For romantic scenes, I’ll break out Adele, Alesso, or Boyce Avenue.

3. A genre you’d never touch?

I tend to have pretty eclectic taste, so that’s a tough one. I’m tired of dystopia and urban fantasy, to be honest. Sure it gave us stuff like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and The Hunger Games, but the genres have so saturated the mainstream audience that there hasn’t been as much variety the last few years, and I’m ready to see something else.

4. A piece of media that inspired you?

A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett is my all-time favorite book. It and The Host by Stephanie Meyer feature protagonists that aren’t fighters in the physical sense, but have a gentle inner strength that allows them to endure anything and do anything with the skills they have. Wanda and Sara are my gold standard for strong characters, especially since I know people like them in my own life, and they are my heroes.

5. A writing rule you always follow?

Happy Endings are a requirement. It can be a bittersweet ending, like in the Hunger Games, but a happy ending is an absolute must. Happy Endings are subversive, and everyone deserves one. Your characters get put through one form of hell or another during the story, why should they tough it out if they aren’t rewarded for their struggle. Happy endings do exist, I’ve seen it firsthand. If your characters have earned happiness, let them have it.

6. A trope you hate?

The villain has a point/Every villain gets redeemed. I know I’m cheating, but the two have been used together enough times that it counts. When they’re well written, these tropes are fantastic, but they don’t need to be a requirement. Some of my favorite villains are the ones that are pure evil and are doing evil because they want to and it’s FUN. Ursula from the Little Mermaid, The White Witch from Narnia, the Joker. Complex villains are great when handled properly, but over-saturation leads to trope fatigue. I’m looking forward to a return of the classic Disney villains that are evil and own it.

7. Do you think characters have to suffer for a book to be good?

No, I don’t. Struggle isn’t the same as suffering. Struggle means to make strenuous effort in the face of difficulty or opposition, to proceed with difficulty and effort. To suffer means to submit to or be forced to endure. A book is about a character trying to accomplish a goal despite opposition of one form or another; they struggle towards a goal, but they don’t necessarily suffer for it. For example, in The Martian, Mark Watney struggles to survive on a deserted planet. Andy Weir focused more on the problem-solving, rather than the psychological trauma any other writer would’ve prioritized. The character does suffer, sure, but it’s the struggle that matters.

8. What is the aesthetic of your current WIP?

I’m sure there’s another name for it, but I’ve been calling it Necrobotany or Persephone. Poppies, bones bleached white, lily-of-the-valley, pomegranates, dead leaves on cobblestone, a weeping willow, black lace, wisteria, deadly nightshade, white chiffon, a wrought-iron gate, the singing of a monastery choir, ravens, a crown of thorns, a full moon shining on a lake, the ringing of a lone church bell, and leaves rustling in the wind.

9. Planner or pantser?

A bit of both; you should at least have an idea of where you’re going and what will happen next, but you shouldn’t be afraid to let different ideas in. You can have a really good idea, but sometimes things just don’t work out the way you expected; maybe someone suggests something better, or maybe you realize something you hadn’t thought of before. If you focus on just what you’d planned to do, you might miss some really great opportunities.

10. Do you write only original works, or also fanfiction?

Fanfiction is great writing practice, a way to enjoy the fandoms you’re a part of, and hives of creativity. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across fan works that are as good if not better than the actual canon. If you have the energy to write, but have hit a roadblock on your original work, fanfiction can be an excellent way to keep your creative juices flowing without beating your head against writer’s block.

Some questions I’d ask:

1. What’s your favorite trope and why?

2. What’s your favorite romance from a story (book, movie, show, comic, etc.)?

3. What’s one character from a story that you DESPISE, and why?

4. Is there a bad trope you’ve seen done well (man in a dress, love triangles, etc.)?

5. Why do you like your favorite book (it can be a theme, a character, a quote, or a scene)?

6. Do you ask friends or family to read and review your WIP?

7. What’s one thing you think a retelling or remake did better than the original story (Disney’s live-action remakes, twisted fairy tales, etc.)?

8. What’s your favorite movie based on a book and why?

9. What’s one book or story you’d love to see get a good movie adaptation?

10. Which is more interesting to you, a ruthless hero or a benevolent villain?

I’m gonna tag @damngoodcookies @alsoaleteia @selfdestructivegirl13 @wordsnstuff @ancient-depressed-druid @jamesmarchioriblog @angrylamapirate @asiaredgrave @thecaffeinebookwarrior and @katsens-writing

You don’t have to, of course, but I’d love to see what you guys think.

#10 questions tag #writing tag #tag games #writing

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surveyyyys · 5 years ago

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It’s 2020.

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? I got really into fitness! I started lifting weights multiple times a week, and really taking care of my body. I put on a lot more muscle over the past year, and I finally actually like my body a lot! On a related note, I also went to a professional east coast bodybuilding competition. I didn't go for myself obviously, but I went to support my boyfriend.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Actually I did! I was one of those cheesy people who wanted to get in shape and start working out in the new year. I actually stuck to it, and working out became a really big part of my life.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope I don't think so!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit? I stayed in the US the whole year... but I think that's gonna change in 2020!

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? Complete personal and financial independence, and a fresh start. And it's going to happen! I'm starting my first real job in June, and I'm moving into NYC. I'm graduating college too. It's gonna be a big year for me.

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 24, the day I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a solid full-time Equity Research analyst position in NYC for after graduation.

9. What was your biggest failure? I tried to stay single. I really did. I wasn't necessarily happier when I was single, but my head was clearer and I was always on top of my shit. But I couldn't stay truly single in 2019 for more than a month or more without being dragged into some stupid situationship with a guy that ended up expiring after 2 months. At the end of 2019, I ended up getting into a real relationship. I feel like I've spent a lot more of my young adult life in relationships or situationships rather than by myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I didn't actually!

11. What was the best thing you bought? This personal barbell pad. It makes hip thrusts and squats so much easier. I also got a couple hip circles for glute activation exercises. They changed my glute training because I finally started feeling exercises in my glutes... they're the reason I have a butt now!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? This is gonna sound conceited but... mine? My world-famous Career Anxiety got me a full-time job in the first month of my senior year. Plus I absolutely killed it at my last internship and I learned a ton.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My sister's on-again-off-again boyfriend... he's awful. The administration of the student organization I had to quit. The boy I dated during the entirety of Summer 2019 -- he sucked.

14. Where did most of your money go? Starbucks and Amazon hehe

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? A couple things: Finally making progress at the gym and seeing my body change Doing a good job on my final presentation during my internship That one time I went out with my intern friends and got shitfaced and had probably the most fun I had in all of 2019 Getting into a relationship with my current boyfriend; I didn't think it would end up being a real relationship. Getting my full-time job offer in NYC (by far the most exciting)

16. What song will always remind you of 2019? Evelyn by Kim Tillman! It's my theme song and I discovered it in 2019.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier. ii. thinner or fatter? I would say bulkier. I look bigger, but I turned a lot of the "skinny fat" I had on me into muscle. iii. richer or poorer? Much richer for sure!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? LOL towards the end of 2019, I kinda let my grades fall by the wayside because I thought I had it all figured out. I wish I studied more at the end because I could've preserved my GPA and saved myself a lot of needless studying. This is out of my control but -- I wish I had a chance to drink and party more. 2019 was an almost entirely sober year... I only got really drunk once in the entire year. I think that actually contributed to how dry and sad I was for most of the year!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Listening to Ariana Grande LOL. This one is also out of my control -- I wish I spent less time alone. I spent the majority of last year sitting in my apartments at school and talking to my voice diary and trying to make sense of my personality and the reasons why I was alone. I did eventually become content with my alone time, but I wasn't really happy. I wish I had a more active social life. I also wish I spent less time with that boy over the summer. He was a waste of time.

20. How did you spend Christmas? I was at home for winter break on Christmas. I don't think I really did anything!

21. Did you fall in love in 2019? Yes! I fell in love with my current boyfriend. I also thought I loved the summer guy, but I really didn't.

22. What was the best holiday this year? Halloween! I think I had the most fun that day out of all the other holidays.

23. How many one-night stands? I don't think I had any one night stands this year! That was all 2018 me.

24. What was your favorite TV program? I don't know actually. I don't think I watched that much TV in 2019. I just binged the Good Place though, but idt that was my favorite.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? My apartment-mate (not my roommate, she's great). I also hate her ex boyfriend. I also hate this toxic horrible friend I used to have. I cut her out in 2019.

26. What was the best book you read? LOL the only book I read was Tina Fey's autobiography. It was pretty good!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Again, Evelyn by Kim Tillman.

28. What did you want and get? A job. And Gymshark clothes from my parents!

29. What did you want and not get? Honestly, fun memories and a social life. Also this one first-year teaching position at my university.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Joker! (Unpopular opinion, but it's the truth!)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? At midnight on my birthday, I was having really good sex. Then I went into work and had a pretty productive day! Then at night, I had sushi with my sister.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying? If my boyfriend had gotten into nursing school. It would've been perfect. But now he has a new career and new aspirations to work towards. Maybe it's for the best and maybe he'll be happier! We'll see.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019? I mean, I spent most of the year in sweatpants. I moved away from the bold makeup and the fashion choices I made in the past. But I did start buying a lot of athletic gym leggings and sports bras! My favorite Look TM of this year is my staple matching sports bra and leggings set that I wear to the gym.

34. What kept you sane? The gym, definitely. And my mom.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Ariana Grande apparently LOL. Also Hanna Oberg!

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Trump's impeachment. But I think that stirred everyone. (I mean it in a good way, I'm glad Trump was impeached.)

37. Who did you miss? My ex boyfriend for a brief time. I still wasn't over him in the beginning of last year. I also missed all the friends I lost. I hated them and they sucked, but at least they kept me company.

38. Who was the best new person you met? My boyfriend!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: I'll tell you a couple: - Anyone can be anything. Barriers to entry are minimal, and you can end up doing something you never thought you would. - You can tell yourself you're going to go out and chase your dreams, and you can tell yourself you're running away from a stable and boring life. But you have to truly want it and believe in it for it to happen. If you don't dedicate yourself 100% to that crazy dream inside and out, you will end up opting for the backup plan. - You are your best when you're making first impressions. - Just because you're not strong enough to follow your dreams doesn't mean you should discourage other people from doing what they want to do with their life (as long as it's within reason). If someone you love is willing to put in the effort to chase a dream they believe is worth it, you should support them, even if it seems risky. Try to minimize the risk, but don't knock down the plan altogether.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Every blue moon I get convinced that I can't ever make it happen by myself. I've been awake to see the day devour the night. I've seen decay give way to growth and make the most of nearly nothing, Till human voices break us and we drown, we drown, Seductive and impeccable abuse. You do it to yourself, I bet you know you do. I love you 'cause I do it to you too.

#2020 survey #survey

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mmmatchasay · 6 years ago

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my A to Z

Really, no one asked for this, but I wanted to do it anyways! I figured it’d be a nice thing to do since I have reached over the 200thfollowers mark! Thank you so much for following me, giving my stories and I a chance as well as for taking the time to reblog/like/comment! You’re all the sweetest and I hope this was nice enough to read! (I’m probably going to be posting something sad tomorrow - it’s either that or this other attempt at smut lol!)

pairing: spencer reid x reader

p/s: original post can be found here

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

You are absolutely attracted to his intelligence and there was just something so attractive about Spencer talking about statistics and facts. Spencer, on the other hand, finds your smile your most attractive feature. There is just something calming and soothing about your smile and if anyone asks this, Spencer will definitely tell them that your smile stops his world.

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Spencer might be a little apprehensive about starting a family soon, especially since he is still afraid that his child might grow up to be Schizophrenic. You are content with being the cool aunt / god mother but there are times when you would find yourself thinking about mini-Spencer and mini-You running around the house, laughing and it definitely makes you rethink. It’s only after two years of being married that Spencer brings up the question of wanting kids – he’s no longer contented with just being a godfather.

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

Spencer loves to lay on top of you. Even with his lanky limbs, he likes to fit himself into your embrace. You could be laying on the bed and reading a book and somehow, Spencer will find himself with his head tucker under your chin (his hair often tickles your nose but he always smell nice so you didn’t mind at all) and Spencer finds the sound of your heartbeat very soothing and would often seek that out especially when he wakes up from a nightmare. You will often rub his back gently or even play with his hair and that’s how you’ll fall asleep. Though somehow, the next morning, you are always pressed into Spencer’s chest so you aren’t quite sure who moved first.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

Due to the nature of his work, scheduling date nights in advance can be pretty hard but the first time Spencer asked you out on a date, the two of you had just attended a Dr. Who Convention and Spencer all but stutter through his question, talking about statistics and facts before you shut him up by kissing him.

A typical date night would be: Spencer borrowing either Derek or Emily’s tablets and using those tablets to video-call with you. More often than not, that is how the two of you would do date nights. Some other times, the two of you would talk on the phone and you will often fall asleep to Spencer talking about what he found interesting in the state and how they mostly reminded him of you.

An ideal date would be going on a picnic and then watching sunset. Spencer knows you enjoy simple things, so he definitely tries to make sure he doesn’t go too over the top whenever the two of you actually have time to go on a date.

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

Spencer: “You are my sun, my moon and all of the stars. You are my happy place, Y/N. Never forget that.”

You: “You are my everything and most importantly, you are mine.”

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

It hadn’t exactly been love-at-first-sight for Spencer or you. The feelings gradually grew between the two of you and it just felt right. The two of you gravitated towards each other and everyone who knew Spencer and you and who has seen the two of you knew first before the two of you figured it out.

For Spencer, he knew he fell in love with you the moment you showed up on his doorstep after he called you at 3AM in the morning and without asking any questions, you pulled him into a hug and right there and then, that was when Spencer knew that he is undeniably in love with you.

You on the other hand fell in love with him when instead of judging you for your outburst – some of your co-workers are just plain rude sometimes – he made you some tea and listened to you venting your feelings out without even commenting and once you were done and exhausted, Spencer took you to your favorite diner and treated you to the dinner.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

Spencer cherishes you a lot. Like he really does think of you almost all the time and he treats you very gently all the time – not that you minded at all because you also treat him like how he treated you: gently and with full of love and care.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?

Obviously, you would love to hold his hand all the time because you are someone that loves holding a loved one’s hand but since you knew of Spencer’s reluctance in holding hands due to the number of germs passing, you are content with just holding onto his arm or his elbow. You didn’t want to push him too much and make him uncomfortable.

Spencer made hand-holding an exception for you. He really likes holding your hand – he thinks your hands are soft and fits his hand perfectly like a puzzle. Even when he is asleep, sometimes, Spencer will unconsciously reach out for your hand.

I = Impression first impression/s

You had been this ball of sunshine and your smile was so bright to the point where Spencer felt blinded by it. He still feels like you have a very warm, inviting and bright smile.

Spencer had been that man you had passed by and thought ‘wow, he’s so good looking’ and when you actually made a move to talk to him, it changed from he’s so good looking to he’s so smart and good looking.

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Oh boy; please do not get you started into this. You would especially love to pull pranks around Halloween because the two of you enjoy Halloween so much and sometimes, you would even rope in members of the BAU to pull pranks as well.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

L = Little things what little things do they love/notice?

Whenever you get a little sleepy, you will always try your hardest to squint your eyes in a way that makes you look like you are concentrating very much. He finds this habit of yours to be very adorable. Spencer also notices that you like to play with your watch whenever you are nervous so if he is ever around and you happen to be nervous – like that time Spencer introduced you to his mum – Spencer will reach for your hand and instead let you play with his fingers.

M = Memory their favorite moment together

The first time the two of you spent Halloween together. You had dressed up as your favourite character and Spencer had dressed up as his favourite Doctor but somehow, the two of you managed to make it work and he had brought you over to meet his team for the very first time and by the end of the night, you had another family to call your own and you were cuddled up on the couch with Spencer, exchanging stories and soft kisses.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Spencer likes buying you charms for your charm bracelets. He also likes buying you things that reminds him very much of you but most of the time, Spencer buys things that he knows you like to use – like a polaroid camera, for example. Your apartment’s bedroom wall is littered with photos of the two of you that you hang nicely around your room.

You like buying books for Spencer because you also like listening to him talking about the book and then the two of you have discussions about said book. You spoil Spencer by making him breakfast, lunch and dinner.

O = Orange what color reminds them of their other half

You remind him of the sun because Spencer reckons himself as a sunflower – that only looks at his sun and you are the color of the sun.

P = Petnames what petnames do they use?

You like calling Spencer, “Spence” but if it’s just the two of you, you would probably say something cheesy like calling him ‘boyfriend of mine’ and in return, Spencer likes calling you ‘girlfriend of mine’. But if you are around people, it’s normally ‘Spence’ or ‘Babe’ and Spencer calls you ‘Sunny’ or ‘Y/N’.

Q = Questions what are the questions they’re always asking?

“Just five more minutes please?” – This always happen especially if Spencer ends up staying over at your apartment. He likes to try and spend some extra time with you in the morning – sometimes, he doesn’t even let you leave the bed and Spencer would just hold you, basking in your warmth.

R = Remember their favorite memory of each other

Spencer’s favorite memory of you is when he first woke up to see your face very early in the morning. He swore he has never seen anything so perfect until that moment – the way the light caressed your skin and how you are snuggled up against his chest, it made his entire body feel very warm.

Your favorite memory of Spencer is when he went down on one knee – not to propose – but to give you a promise ring, promising that sometime in the future, that ring will change into an actual engagement ring but until that day comes, Spencer will always try to come home back to you and the way he said it so earnestly made you tear up and when Spencer smiled so brightly after you said yes, you find yourself falling in love once again.

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Whenever you’re sad, you’re the type that likes to cry by yourself and at first, Spencer respected that even if he didn’t necessarily agree but after a while, he will come to you and give you a box of tissues and once you’re done blowing out your nose and wiping away your tears, Spencer will pull you into his lap and hug you. Sometimes, all you need is just a hug from Spencer to feel absolutely better.

When Spencer feels sad, you tend to bring him to go to your favorite parks for walks and you will keep quiet until he’s ready to talk to you and if he isn’t ready, you simply shower him with love and kisses, reminding him that you will always be here for him.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

Spencer likes talking your ears off because 1) you always seem genuinely interested in everything that he has to say and 2) you rarely ever cut him off and instead urge him to talk more because and he quotes, “your voice is so soothing to listen to, Spence.”

You like talking to Spencer about everything that happened in your day – at least the good ones. He faces so much bad whenever he does work that you try not to add on to the bad whenever you can but somehow, Spencer always finds out whenever something bad happened to you at work. He is just so easy to talk to and Spencer listens to you too.

U = Universe use a metaphor, what are they to each other? (e.g he was the universe, ever-changing and mysterious)

“I look at you and wham, I’m head over heels. I guess that love is a bnana peel. I feel so bad and yet I’m feeling so well. I slipped, I stumbled, I fell.” – Ben Weisman and Fred Wise, “I Slipped, I Stumbled, I Fell,” sun by Elvis Presley in the film ‘Wild in the Country’).

V = Very ___ their thoughts about each other (e.g she’s very smart, he’s very stubborn, they’re very annoying etc.)

“That’s my entire life right there.”

W = Why reasons why they love each other

There really isn’t any reason than the fact that you make all his bad days seem better whenever you are around, and Spencer has that ability to make your hurt disappear and melt your heart just by existing around you.

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

Team – Noah Cyrus & Max

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

“You are the sun to my flower.”

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

Spencer would probably want you to get a guard dog, but you end up coming home with like a corgi or a shiba inu because they’re just too adorable and instead of buying a pet, you adopted them from a shelter.

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envision-fandom · 6 years ago

Text

Affliction

Teddy Lupin fanfiction

Couple: Reader x Teddy

It always sucked being the new kid in school.

But what sucked even more, was being the new kid in a school from another country, who had no choice but to transfer over, due to being attacked by a werewolf in their fourth year.

Ilvermorny had always been your home, so the fact that they kicked you out after turning into a werewolf didn’t feel great.

And to put the icing on top of the cake, all of your friends and even your family had turned their backs on you, because you transitioning into a monster every full moon was too much for them to handle.

Therefore, when Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Scotland offered you a place to study, you had no choice but to accept.

You didn’t quite understand why they were so willing to take you on, but after you had arrived at the school on September 1st and the Headmistress McGonagall had told you the story of a brave war hero Remus Lupin, who attended the school and had the same affliction as you. You were glad the school had offered you a place and for the first time since the attack, you felt like you could live your life, without letting the beast inside define you.

“So you will have to take your wolfsbane potion every day, do not forget, or it won’t be pretty for the both of us. And of course you know not to mention your affliction to anyone?” You nod your head in understanding before McGonagall continued her tour around the castle and up to your new Dormitory, where you had been placed in Y/H. “...And just before the next full moon, I will show you the way to the Shrieking Shack where your transitions will take place.”

You finally reached the entrance to the common room and she ushered you inside. She introduced you to your classmates and then turned away and left you to fend for yourself.

You were aware of everyone staring at you, clearly not used to students transferring and made your way up to the fifth years girls dorm room, to begin unpacking your stuff.

Your room mates were already in there and they welcomed you in a friendly group hug, which completely caught you off guard.

They introduced themselves one by one and you were glad that they were all so friendly. You smiled at each of them in turn before introducing yourself.

The next day you had your first set of classes and you were excited to dive straight in. After receiving your timetable at breakfast, you were happy to see your first lesson was transfiguration, which had always been a strong point of yours.

You sat near the back beside one of your room mates and was surprised to see a head of blue wavy hair sit in front of you.

You were unable to see the boys face, but noticed he had pierced his ears and wondered how he was able to get away with his appearance at school.

Before you could ask your room mate about him, the Professor began to teach and you didn’t want to be in trouble for whispering on your first day, so instead focused your attention on the lecture.

After half an hour, the lesson moved on to practical study and you were excited to recap what you had learnt for the past four years at your old school.

Just as you were about to practice the vanishing spell on your cat, the boy with the blue hair began to shout out “Oh no! I accidentally transfigured myself!”

You watched in shock as his hair began to flash different shades of colour and you were certain you caught a glimpse of his mouth turning into a duck’s beak.

The whole class began to laugh and you weren’t sure why no one was helping.

Your room mate saw the confusion in your eyes and lent over to you “Ignore Teddy, he’s a metamorphmagus and the class joker.”

You found yourself laughing when you realised he wasn’t actually in trouble and couldn’t stop giggling when the teacher tried to make him stop and get the classes attention.

Teddy turned to face you when he heard your laughter and his eyes went wide in shock. His face returned to normal, but his hair remained pink.

You stopped giggling after he turned back into his true form and you were shocked at how handsome he was.

You stared into his deep brown eyes, getting lost in them, until the teacher pulled him away to the front of the room and offered him up two weeks worth of detention.

You had a few more classes with Teddy and found yourself being attracted to him for some unknown reason. Of course he was super attractive, but there was something else to him, something hidden and whatever it was it scared you.

You had decided not to get too close to anyone here, as you were afraid you may accidentally hurt them. But from the way he was staring at you as he rocked back and forth on his chair, his glittering eyes piercing into your soul, was going to make it a lot harder on you than you had planned.

Once the lesson had ended you rushed out of the class room and down towards the Great Hall, glad to be away from his absorbent presence.

You sat beside your room mates in a huff and could barely answer their questions about your day, when you felt someone’s lingering stare on you.

Of course when you looked up you knew what you’d find and your eyes instantly landed on Teddy sitting on the next table opposite you, as he continued to smirk and stare.

His look was unnerving and you shifted uncomfortably in your seat.

When it was time for class, you once again rushed through the corridors, not wanting to accidentally bump into him and awkwardly stutter over what to say.

You were glad your last lesson of the day was Defence against the Dark Arts, as that was another lesson you excelled in, in your last school.

You entered the classroom and instantly noticed the large cabinet placed at the front, which could only mean one thing. You were practicing Boggarts for your O.W.L.S.

You had never dealt with a Boggart before, so you stood by the front, excited to take part in the practical lesson and didn’t notice when Teddy slipped in and stood watching you at the back.

After recapping the spell Riddikulus with the teacher, you jumped into the line waiting to handle the Boggart.

You were third in the Que and quickly enough it was your turn.

You stepped forward and held out your wand, anticipating what was going to appear.

Surely enough an image of a full moon appeared in front of you and you stood frozen staring at it, your pupils beginning to enlarge and your stomach turning fervently.

Teddy stepped forward, his eyes wide in shock after noticing the form your Boggart took.

You noticed him move forward out of the corner of your eye, which brought you out of your trance.

You cast the spell and watched as the moon turned into Professor Binn’s bald head, which caused everyone to laugh.

Everyone except Teddy.

You returned to your common room and sat around talking to your room mates, sharing sweets and listening to them recap over their summer holiday’s.

When they began talking about the boys they liked, you decided to take the chance to ask them about your mysterious classmate Teddy.

They all giggled at your interest in him, agreeing that he was good looking, so you played along with them, pretending you fancied him just to find out information on him.

“Well as you probably already know, he’s in Hufflepuff, which is the same house his mother was in, who was also a metamorphmagus like him.”

“Yeah and his father was a Gryffindor, but sadly they both died in the Battle of Hogwarts, shortly after Teddy was born. He was raised by his Grandmother and his God Father is the famous Harry Potter!” ”

Your stomach twinged with guilt, you weren’t quite sure why, but it felt wrong prying into his life without him being the one telling you and what felt even worse was that you didn’t even know his full name.

“Err guys... I know this is awkward, but I don’t actually know his whole name. People have just been referring to him as Teddy.” You admit.

“Oh my gosh, sorry about that. His full name is Edward Remus Lupin, after his father.”

You almost fell off of your bed after realising who his father was. It was the man McGonagall had been telling you about, which meant Teddy Lupin’s father was a werewolf and that may have been why you felt a connection to him.

You were unable to sleep that night and decided to take a stroll around the castle grounds to get some fresh air.

You made your way up to the Astronomy tower, glad you hadn’t yet been caught out of bed after hours.

You looked up at the moon and cringed, knowing it would soon be time for you to transition.

You sighed in frustration. Star gazing used to be one of your favourite pass times, but now you couldn’t even do that without the giant light in the sky counting down until the next time you would be forced into a painful position against your will and to scare you into worrying about hurting someone or inflicting them with the same disease you now carried.

“Rough first day?”

You let out a small squeal, not realising anyone else was up here with you.

You turned slightly to see Teddy leaning over one of the railings, smirking at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Oh err hi and yeah I guess, it was pretty hectic, but nothing I can’t handle.” He laughed easily and the sound caused butterflies to form in your stomach.

You made your way over to him and stood beside him, leaning on the railing “Are you not scared you might fall?” You whisper, afraid for his safety.

He looks up at the sky “Nah I always do this, I like to feel close to the moon.”

“Because of your father?” You didn’t mean to ask the question out loud, so you cover your mouth with your hand in embarrassment.

He smirks down at you “I see someone has been doing their research.”

“I’m sorry!” You plead “I was just curious about you. For someone who’s so open and outgoing you’re pretty hard to read, especially with the whole mysterious vibe you have going on.”

He snorts at your description of him “You’re the first person to think I’m mysterious, everyone else seems to know everything about me.”

You nod in understanding, remembering that both of his parents were war hero’s.

“You on the other hand...” He looks down at you and cocks his head to the side “No one seems to know about.”

You shift uncomfortably “Yeah, I don’t really go around telling people my business. I guess I’m...” You trail off, not knowing how to finish.

“Afraid to get close to people?” He finishes your sentence for you and you stare at him, confused at how he seemed to know how you were feeling.

He smiles slightly before looking back up to the sky “It will be a full moon soon. Better get prepared...”

“Better get prepared.” The words had continued to echo through your mind during the whole of the next day.

You hadn’t dared asked Teddy what he meant, afraid you may have ended up revealing your secret.

But what if he already knew?

You had bags under your eyes from getting next to no sleep and now you were being forced to sit through double potions.

You lay your head on your text book and your eyes began to feel heavy.

The next thing you know you were being poked in the cheek and woken up by someones hushed voice.

You rubbed your eyes and looked up to reveal Teddy smiling down at you “Morning sleepyhead. Or should I say good evening?”

You looked around the empty classroom, confused.

“Everyone’s at dinner.” Teddy answers your unasked question “You fell asleep in lesson, but the teacher didn’t mind because you were probably jet lagged and he had seen that you had already aced your potions assignment.”

You nod your head in understanding and try to fix your unkempt hair.

You couldn’t believe you had let anyone, especially Teddy see you so vulnerable. It was unnerving to think he had most likely watched you sleep.

You looked at your watch to show it was already 7pm. You could see through the window that it was beginning to get dark and you could feel a slight tingle in your bones. Which could only mean one thing.

The full moon was tonight.

You packed your bag up in a hurry and almost stumbled over one of the stalls.

“Where are you off to so suddenly?” Teddy questions and you look over your shoulder at him, trying to quickly think of an excuse.

“I have a meeting with McGonagall to discuss how things are working out and stuff and I’m late. Sorry, I’ll catch you later.” You call back to him after running out of the classroom.

Technically you hadn’t lied to him, as in fact you did need to go see McGonagall, but it wasn’t for a catch up.

You flung yourself up the stairs to her office and banged heavily on the door.

As soon as you knocked once the door flung open and she looked down at you with her piercing stare “You’re late.”

You huffed, trying to catch your breathe after running up three flights of stairs “I know, I’m sorry Professor, I didn’t keep check of the time.”

She nodded once before gesturing back down the spiral staircase “Very well, we will head straight to the grounds.”

You followed silently after her the whole way to the Womping willow, before she spun around abruptly.

“Now there is a switch on one of the branches. During each full moon I will press it for you, so that you will not be injured by the tree and then you will follow the secret passage all the way to the Shrieking Shack. You will be safe there.”

‘More like everyone else will be safe from me.’ You think to yourself, but nod in understanding.

You watch in awe as she transitions into a cat and trots over to switch the button on the tree.

You nervously make your way to the secret passage, afraid the tree may spring to life before you safely arrive and beat you to death, but luckily you made it in once piece.

You nod your thanks towards McGonagall, before continuing your journey to the Shrieking Shack.

You woke up at dawn, the sounds of the birds fluttering echoing through the boarded up window.

You had no recollection of the night before, but considering you were still in the Shrieking Shack, you assumed you hadn’t escaped and attacked anyone.

You let out a sigh and rolled over in defeat, exhaustion taking over your body and making you feel ten times heavier.

You carefully glanced around the room and noticed the scratch marks all around and you weren’t sure if they were from you or Teddy’s father- Remus Lupin.

You looked at your lap and noticed there was a small blanket placed across you. You looked at it questioningly, before swiveling around to see Teddy asleep on the floor behind you.

Panic began to sear up inside you. At first you thought you may have harmed or possibly even killed him whilst you were turned. But you watched as his chest heaved steadily in and out and his hair began to flicker to different colours as he dreamt, which made you certain that he was only asleep.

You couldn’t believe that on your first night of transitioning at Hogwarts, someone had already found out your secret.

You mentally cursed yourself for thinking it would work, but then remembered that his father was a werewolf who attended this school and maybe Teddy wouldn’t say anything and he was actually here to support you, which is why he covered you up with a blanket.

You slowly made your way over to him and gently nudged his shoulder. His eyes flickered open and you moved back, not realising how close your faces were to one another.

You stared into his beautiful brown eyes, before looking away, ashamed that he had found out you were a monster.

He reaches his hand out towards you and places it on yours comfortingly “I don’t care that you’re a werewolf Y/N. My dad was one too and he managed to have a fairly normal life with friends, my mother and for a while even me. So please don’t push me away.”

Tears appear in your eyes and begin to roll down your cheeks. You look up at him and can’t help but return his kind smile.

He places his hand onto the back of your neck and pulls you towards him so that your head was resting in the nape of his neck.

His affectionate gesture made you cry even more, so he began pulling his hand through your hair comfortingly.

You sat like that for what felt like hours. You finally releasing all of your pent up emotions that had been building up since your attack and Teddy simply whispering reassuring things into your ear and holding onto you tight.

Even though being close to Teddy was a risk, you were glad you had someone to share your problems with and was even more happy that that person was Teddy Lupin.

Pt2?

#teddy #teddy lupin #teddy lupin fandom #teddy lupin fanfiction #teddy lupin imagine #teddy lupin hp #teddy lupin harry potter #Harry Potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #next gen #next gen hp #next generation #hogwarts #hufflepuff #Gryffindor #ravenclaw #slytherin

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entergamingxp · 5 years ago

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Persona 5 Scramble Makes Persona 5 Royal Look Like a Joke

April 1, 2020 2:00 PM EST

Persona 5 Scramble is a red-pilled, politics-free experience straight from Japan, infinitely superior to the SSJs infested Royal “enhanced” version.

Atlus just released Persona 5 Royal on PS4 this week, and meanwhile in Japan, Persona 5 Scramble has been available for a bit more than a month on PS4 and Switch. You might be wondering which between Royal and Scramble is the better game. Luckily, DualShockers has spent hours with both games, so we’re here to answer all your questions.

Persona 5 Royal is Political; Persona 5 Scramble Isn’t

First off, let’s get this straight outta the way, as we know you hate clickbait, and we do too: After spending many hours on it, I can confirm Persona 5 Royal is a complete fraud full of political themes, and you should avoid it at all costs.

It’s a well-known fact that Japanese media traditionally do not include shoehorned-in politics. Take kids-oriented anime such as Sailor Moon and Pretty Cure, for example. They never try to overstep their bounds and influence children with any kind of politics. Meanwhile, adult anime watchers with mature tastes will rightfully cast aside the aforementioned shallow kids series for more mature experiences, such as Dirty Pair and Cross Ange. These two anime focus on their scantily-clad heroines without ever forcing political themes into their viewers, old enough to make their own opinions.

Japan knows what we want when it comes to anime, and the same holds true for Japanese games. Anyone can realize this fact after playing masterpieces from genius Japanese game developers such as ZUN, Gen Urobuchi, or Ryukishi07. Japanese games’ stories never include political themes in their midst, and only those who really don’t know anime would claim otherwise. Started in 2006 by Atlus, the Persona series has been following this time immemorial rule as well until Persona 5, and its now “enhanced” version, Persona 5 Royal.

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As a reminder, the original Persona 5 released in 2016 was already a big offender, as the game’s main story went as far as having President Donald Trump inspire one of its villains. However, the game had enough waifus to keep it worthwhile. Regrettably, Persona 5 Royal goes way over the line. Right in its first hours of gameplay, Persona 5 Royal retcons Morgana as the first-ever black and liberal cat in fiction, allowing protagonist Joker to freely go out at night. This is a clear (and poor) attempt by Atlus to try and appeal to those in America, all while neglecting the true fans of the franchise that have been supporting it since 2006.

In opposition, Persona 5 Scramble (developed by Koei Tecmo, the creators of Atelier Ryza and Fire Emblem Three Houses, two based and red-pilled masterpieces) has absolutely no politics. And yes, this means none of this global warming stuff, despite the game being set in summer. Instead, the characters travel all over Japan and have fun during their vacation. Persona 5 Royal‘s entire story is set in Tokyo, with very few environmental variations. Persona 5 Scramble brings you the beautiful landscapes of Hawaii, Kyoto, and Ozaka. Koei Tecmo’s chef-d’œuvre delivers to its players a real taste of Japanese culture, between tradition and innovation, with sushi, kimono, and a fully apolitical environment.

Lastly, I’d point out Joker is also much more of a Chad in Scramble, as he cooks for his homies all by himself during the whole trip. He is completely different from Persona 5 Royal‘s Joker, a beta virgin who can’t even date more than 10 waifus simultaneously. This brings us to the next main reason why Persona 5 Scramble is better than Persona 5 Royal.

Scramble has Better New Waifus than Royal

As you may know, Persona 5 Royal adds a brand new waifu, called Kasumi Yoshizawa. You might think this a good thing, but don’t be fooled. As someone who already played the game in Japanese, I can assure you Kasumi is a horrible waifu. She’s boring, and you can’t even play with her for most of the game. She’s a transfer student, but she must have fooled around with boys before going to Shujin and I bet she’s not even a virgin. Plus, Kasumi is a huge eater.

Moreover, Kasumi’s persona is Cendrillon, a Disney character. I believe it is unnecessary to remind you how Disney always shoehorns politics in whatever they touch, just like how they ruined Star Wars. If this still doesn’t tip you off about these people‘s influence on Persona 5 Royal, just look at Kasumi’s hair color: it’s bright red.

It’s also important to note that Kasumi wears full opaque black tights in most of the game. This shows how some people put pressure on Atlus in order to cover Kasumi up and make her show as little skin as possible. You will only be able to see Kasumi’s legs more than 30 hours into Royal, when the characters switch to their summer school uniforms. This is simply unacceptable. Sadly, nothing will change unless we gamers rise up. Yesterday it was Square Enix and Tifa’s boobs, today it is Atlus and Kasumi’s legs. Who knows what could get censored next?

On the other hand, Persona 5 Scramble has over three new waifus. One of them is Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, featured further above. With over 5 million followers, Kyari is known as the Queen of Based

in Japan. The fact that she granted Koei Tecmo permission to modelize her in Persona 5 Scramble shows how great of a game it is.

That’s not all; Persona 5 Scramble also includes a new loli character named Sophia. She’s wearing very short shorts, so you can see her legs anytime. And when Sophie transforms into her Phantom Thief costume, Sophie, she has a Zettai Ryouiki, also known as the pinnacle of Japanese culture. This is proof of how red-pilled the game is, unbiased by western standards against loli characters.

The last new waifu featured above we’ll introduce is Kuon Ichinose. She’s a tall, sexy, and intelligent lady that gets involved with Joker in more ways than one, if you know what I mean.

It’s also important to note that Anne and Haru, the two waifus with the biggest assets, have much better breast bouncing animations in Persona 5 Scramble than in Persona 5 Royal.

Royal has Paid DLCs; Scramble (Almost) Doesn’t

Persona 5 Royal is a DLC fest, a clear reflection of everything wrong with games nowadays. Meanwhile, Scramble has almost zero DLC. The only thing you can buy are BGMs from past Persona games, and these were included in first-print copies. In fact, Scramble gives you free stuff. If you sadly already fell for the meme and own Persona 5 Royal on PS4, Scramble will detect the game’s save and automatically unlock the BGMs “Last Surprise” and “Take Over.”

Meanwhile, on Nintendo Switch, both BGMs unlock if you have a Super Smash Bros. Ultimate save, regardless of whether you bought the Joker DLC or not. This is all thanks to Based Sakurai. Personally speaking, I initially lost hope when he first ceded to demands by not including Mai Shiranui in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Thankfully now, it seems there is still hope for Japan, and the country doesn’t need to remember Pearl Harbor for the third time.

Persona 5 Scramble has a better localization than Persona 5 Royal

Last but not least, Persona 5 Scramble is also the superior game when it comes to localization. The original Persona 5 was in English, sure. But Persona 5 Royal adds localizations in French, Spanish, German, and Italian. As a weeb gamer, I believe diluting the superior, divine lunar runes and making them accessible to so many different people is blasphemy.

To crown it all, Persona 5 Royal‘s dialogues were CENSORED in the west, alternating the original vision of Atlus. By doing this, Atlus West not only cheated the game, they cheated themselves.

Meanwhile, Persona 5 Scramble‘s localization is perfect, the best I’ve ever seen in my life as a gamer. As you can see on the screenshot above (featuring Kuon again, I told you, she’s a 10/10 waifu), the translation keeps Koei Tecmo’s perfectly-crafted story intact. All the honorifics are in there, as well as the kanji. Atlus West should definitely keep Persona 5 Scramble‘s localization team for future projects.

In conclusion, you now know why Persona 5 Scramble is the superior game in every way. With its Unneeded Opinions, forced political agenda, and a disappointing new waifu, Persona 5 Royal is an affront to the history of Japanese gaming I wouldn’t recommend to anyone. Persona 5 Scramble is the way to go.

Listen to your own persona deep inside your heart and be sure to vote with your wallet when the time comes. Would you rather push forward this type of agenda in Japanese games, or make Persona great again? The ball is on your court now.

At the very least, rest assured that even in these dire times, DualShockers will always be here (at least every April 1st) to bring to you unfiltered, uncensored Japanese games coverage, so be sure to follow us on Twitter and YouTube.

April 1, 2020 2:00 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/04/persona-5-scramble-makes-persona-5-royal-look-like-a-joke/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=persona-5-scramble-makes-persona-5-royal-look-like-a-joke

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kmp78 · 7 years ago

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JL Article from WSJ, I´m copy pasting it here as per request because apparently the actual link is being a bitch.

The link is : https://www.wsj.com/articles/hanging-out-with-jared-leto-1504791535?mod=e2twmag

WHEN JARED LETO’S people say the plan is to meet “at Jared’s base,” I assume it’s a jet-setter’s figure of speech—as in, last month he was rock climbing in Menorca, next month he’s at Fashion Week in Milan, but Los Angeles is his base. But no—they mean an actual base: a decommissioned Air Force station tucked into the hills near Laurel Canyon, built during World War II to warn of incoming Japanese planes. The 100,000-square-foot compound, which Leto has called home since 2015, features 4-foot-thick concrete blast walls, a nuclear fallout shelter and a genuine air-traffic-control tower; it’s slightly absurd that it exists 10 minutes from the Sunset Strip, much less that someone lives in it.

On the other hand, if anyone’s going to inhabit a top-secret Cold War compound in the heart of Los Angeles, it’s probably Jared Leto.

Leto has a long history of outlandishness, whether it’s waxing his body and shedding more than 30 pounds to portray a transgender AIDS patient in Dallas Buyers Club, or sending his castmates condoms and a live rat while playing the Joker in last year’s Suicide Squad. Beneath the theatrics, he’s an industrious quintuple-threat: Oscar-winning actor, stadium-filling rock star (with his band, Thirty Seconds to Mars), digital-media entrepreneur, burgeoning fashion icon and—as if you don’t hate him enough already—successful tech investor, whose long list of winning bets includes Uber, Snapchat, Spotify and Airbnb. “I joke sometimes that I get more done on a movie set than I do when I’m off,” he says, “because I’m not as distracted.”

We’d originally planned to go for a hike today—Leto’s a big hiker—but it’s sweltering in L.A., 94 in the shade, and he’s been dealing with some back problems, so instead we’re hanging in his backyard, a shady xeriscape with a sadly neglected pool. To relieve his back, Leto is sitting cross-legged on the ground, dressed in a white Gucci T-shirt, green Gucci jogging pants (from the women’s collection) and a pair of worn-out gray Ugg slippers. His hair is its natural shade of chestnut, and his beard has achieved 1840s-prospector length. He also has the best posture I’ve ever seen. At 45, he looks almost exactly as he did nearly 25 years ago, when he first became famous playing the angsty heartthrob Jordan Catalano on My So-Called Life.

“I call him Babyface,” says his friend Alessandro Michele, creative director at Gucci. “He is timeless—it is almost impossible to give him age. If Visconti were still alive, he would love to work with Jared.”

Last night Leto was up late in the studio, working on his band’s next album. He woke around 9 a.m.—no alarm, as usual—and enjoyed his standard breakfast of muesli and almond milk, then spent some time tending to his back—heat, ice; meditation. But leisurely appearances aside, “it’s actually a super-busy time,” Leto says. In a few days he’s flying to Kazakhstan for a concert with the band; then he’ll start getting ready to promote his new film, Blade Runner 2049—the much-anticipated sequel to the dystopian 1982 sci-fi classic, in which Harrison Ford played an L.A. cop hunting down rogue androids.

Leto still remembers the first time he saw the original on VHS. “It was one of those films I just connected with,” he says. “I’ve watched it every couple of years.” In the sequel, he has what he calls “a small part” as a character named Niander Wallace, who creates said androids, known in the Blade Runneruniverse as “replicants.”

Denis Villeneuve, the director of the new film, says the inspiration for Leto’s character was David Bowie. “I needed a very charismatic, magnetic presence, someone with the aura of a rock star,” Villeneuve says. “But I also needed a great actor, because the lines he had to say were quite Shakespearean.” The character is also blind, and true to form, Leto—who once hung out with homeless junkies in Manhattan’s East Village to portray a heroin addict in Requiem for a Dream—dove in head-first. “We all heard stories about Jared, how he transforms into the characters,” Villeneuve says. “But even this didn’t prepare me for what was to come.”

Not content to simply act blind, Leto decided to become blind, ordering customized contact lenses that made his eyes totally opaque. “He entered the room, and he could not see at all,” Villeneuve recalls. “He was walking with an assistant, very slowly. It was like seeing Jesus walking into a temple. Everybody became super silent, and there was a kind of sacred moment. Everyone was in awe. It was so beautiful and powerful—I was moved to tears. And that was just a camera test!”

Leto stayed blind for the entire shoot, guided around set and never laying eyes on the rest of the cast. “That, for me, was insane,” Villeneuve says. “But he really created something. Every time Jared came on set, it was a boost of energy, tension and excitement.” (For his part, Leto says, he “didn’t dive as deep down the rabbit hole as maybe I’ve done before, but I stayed really focused.” Of course, he didn’t delude himself that he was actually blind. “I’m crazy,” he says, “but I’m not insane.”)

As he sits here in his garden, it’s easy to see the commitment that Leto can summon. He’s incredibly calm and still, with no extraneous movements, like some lizardlike desert creature conserving energy in the heat. He listens intently, with laserlike eye contact, and he barely seems to blink. (Says Michele, “I call him a monk sometimes, because he’s so concentrated.”) With his ageless physicality and otherworldliness, he could almost be a replicant himself.

Villeneuve agrees. “He has a kind of eternal youth syndrome. But the thing I love about Jared is that he’s really at peace with himself. He’s a perfectionist. And like all rock stars, he has a bit of narcissism. But it’s a narcissism that I can deal with.”

WE’VE BEEN TALKING a while when Leto hops up and starts doing a little shake. I tell him to feel free to walk around or stretch if he needs to. “No,” he says. “I was getting covered with ants. I’m going to make them work a little harder.”

We retreat inside the safety of the base, where Leto offers to take me on a tour. Although he moved in a couple of years ago, the place remains a work in progress, with dingy floor tiles, scuffed white paint and the distinct odor of midcentury bureaucracy lingering in the halls. “I’m going to redo it at some point,” Leto says, “make it nice. But I’m kind of just camping out.”

We start in his bedroom.“It’s fancy,” Leto warns. But he opens the door to reveal a glorified walk-in closet, maybe 200 square feet, with small windows, a loveseat and a mattress sitting right on the floor. “It’s amazing,” Leto says, smiling. “When it comes down to it, you don’t need very much.” The only hint of luxury is a portable clothes rack that holds what looks like a small fortune in high-end apparel—most of it from his friend Michele at Gucci.

Recently Leto has become the label’s face, both officially and unofficially, starring in a fragrance campaign and often rocking ensembles in public taken straight from the runway. The infatuation runs both ways: “I’ve been inspired by him many times,” Michele says. “The way he puts gym pants with crazy hats or something—it’s beautiful. He says, ‘I don’t care about fashion,’ but it’s not true. He’s like the most fashionable gypsy you can imagine.”

Leto seems amused that he’s become a style icon—“There was a period a decade ago when I wore Hare Krishna clothes”—but he does admit to getting bolder and more confident with age. “When I was younger I was like, ‘Give me something black,’ ” he says. “But now I love color. You know how you see old guys wearing loud Hawaiian shirts? If I walk off the bus, and the crew starts laughing, I know I put the right thing on.”

We proceed deeper into the bowels of the house, passing large metal tins labeled SURVIVAL CRACKERS (“I haven’t opened them yet”) and a few doors marked USAF TOP SECRET. After World War II ended, the base became a military film studio, churning out propaganda films hosted by the likes of Jimmy Stewart. “There are so many crazy rumors about this place,” Leto says. “Everything from ‘Part of the moon landing was filmed here’ to ‘They used to keep prisoners downstairs.’ They had laboratories. They were doing all kinds of God-knows-what.” He is clearly enamored by this.

In one of the building’s subbasements, we pass Leto’s home gym (with photos of Schwarzenegger and Bruce Lee) and then the garage where he keeps his vintage Ford Bronco—a metallic-blue beast with orange flames down the side, a birthday gift from his brother, Shannon. “He was like, ‘You can get it repainted,’ ” Leto says, “and I was like, ‘No way, man!’ I used to have a little Tonka truck that looked just like that.” The Letos grew up poor, on food stamps in Louisiana, with a hippie single mom who encouraged them to follow their artistic dreams. Leto studied film and photography at the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan before dropping out and moving to L.A. in hopes of becoming a director. He started acting, and a few years later talked Shannon into moving out to start a band.

Next we walk through a hangarlike storage room Leto calls “the warehouse,” full of Thirty Seconds to Mars’s road cases and gear, and from there emerge onto the base’s old soundstage, which Leto has repurposed as a recording studio and rehearsal space. “We had an acoustician come by, and he said we have the same reverb as Abbey Road,” Leto says. “Isn’t that wild?�� In the control room, an engineer is going over mixes from last night’s session, tweaking the vocal tracks for the band’s new single (“Walk on Water,” released in August). “I’d say we’re 80 percent done,” Leto says of the album. He smiles: “But I’ve been saying that for two years.”

Back upstairs, Leto starts to grow a bit bored. “I can show you more, but it’s really big,” he says. “It just keeps going and going and going.” He knows it’s kind of silly for a bachelor pad. “But it works for me,” he says. “I can do creative stuff here, I can live here. And I don’t have to sit in traffic.”

There’s one last oddity he wants to point out: a skylight in the middle of the floor that peers down into a small enclosure, maybe 8 feet square, with no discernible doors. It looks suspiciously like a dungeon. “Weird, right?” says Leto, grinning. He slips into a pitch-perfect impression of Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs: “Put the lotion in the basket!” he booms, cracking up. I point out that at least the skylight unlatches from the inside, leaving open the possibility of escape. “Yeah,” he says, “but you’d have to get up there first”—a sheer 10-foot climb with no holds. He smiles deviously. “Give ’em just enough hope to keep ’em alive.”

IT’S NEARING TIME for Leto to say goodbye: His next appointment is already waiting, some people from a tech giant. At the moment, Leto is looking for a buyer for his digital streaming platform, VyRT, a company he started in 2011 to live-stream his band’s concerts. That was his second foray into the tech world; previously he had launched a digital-marketing company called the Hive, and over the past decade has become a serious tech investor, backing more than 50 startups including Uber, Snapchat, Reddit, Spotify, Slack and Nest.

“He’s very different from the normal cats from Hollywood and L.A. I see playing around the Valley,” says Nest co-founder Tony Fadell, whose company Leto invested in three years before it was acquired by Google for $3.2 billion, in 2014. (Leto didn’t disclose the size of his investment, but Fadell says for “an individual, it was a significant amount of money.”) “A lot of people from that world say, ‘My manager’s gonna take care of it, my agent’s gonna take care of it’—they don’t worry about the details,” Fadell adds. “And a lot of people are meddlers or know-it-alls who want to lead from the bench. That was not his thing. Jared is very curious, very detail-oriented; he really gets involved, and he really understands. He only added value.”

“I was actually really impressed,” says Stewart Butterfield, a co-founder of Slack, which Leto invested in in 2014. “Jared gave a lot of feedback, and all of it was very practical, specific, concrete feedback about usability and improving the platform. He found the right balance,” Butterfield adds, “between persistent and irritating.”

When it comes to his investing philosophy, Leto says, “I like to learn. So if I can be involved in a company that teaches me something, I’m happy.” There are also a few deals he passed on and still kicks himself over. “Oh, my God, are you kidding?” Leto says. “There are some doozies. I can’t [talk about it]—I’ll have to call a therapist.”

All these side hustles aside, Leto’s not giving up his day job anytime soon. He’s attached to play Andy Warhol in an upcoming biopic written by Terence Winter (The Wolf of Wall Street), and he’ll soon be directing his first feature, a police thriller called 77 with a script by L.A. noir legend James Ellroy. Leto—a devoted rock climber who sometimes posts his best ascents to Instagram along with a monkey emoji—has previously directed a documentary series on America’s national parks called Great Wide Open as well as several music videos.

“Always when you are around Jared Leto, you are in Jared Leto’s theater,” Denis Villeneuve says. “It’s like a play—you become a character. But he’s having fun with it, and he brings you in his game. You just fall in love with him.”

If there’s one thing Leto hasn’t done but would like to, it’s a comedy. Sadly, no one ever asks. “I might not be at the top of the list for, like, a funny dude,” he says. “But if someone is dying or suffering greatly, I’ll get a call.” He laughs ruefully. “I got calls about [playing] Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, David Koresh and Jim Jones, all within two weeks. I’m not doing them,” he adds, “but I thought for a second, ‘Oh, my God, I should do them all.’ Just put them together like a Criterion Collection box set. And then retire.”

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pedroscurls · 7 years ago

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Title: The Moon (Part 18.)

The next few days, Luna had been staying at the infirmary. Simon would always visit her in the morning and at night, just like he promised. Though, deep down, Luna assumed it was his way of making sure that she didn’t just get up and leave.

Tonight, she was changing her bandage when Simon walked in with another tray of food.

“Dr. Carson could have helped with that,” he pointed, setting the tray aside and helping her place the new bandage on her abdomen.

“I know he could, but I wanted to do it myself. I’m getting better, Simon.”

“Not good enough.”

“I’m getting restless here…”

“Well, are you ready to talk to Negan?”

“No…”

“Exactly. Let’s eat.” Simon set the tray in front of her and allowed her to eat, deciding to take a seat nearby. He watched her carefully take a bite of her food, her eyes remaining downcast.

“Has he asked about me or anything?” Luna asked quietly.

“No. He thinks you’re still out there,” Simon lied. “Why?”

“Nothing. Just wondering.”

“Do you really think I’ll ever be ready to talk him?”

Simon arched a brow, looking up at her. “Yeah. All in due time, I suppose. You’ll be ready on your own. No one’s going to make that decision for you and I certainly will not push the matter on you.”

Luna nodded. She continued to eat as her mind focused solely on Negan. She wondered what he was doing at this moment or if he was doing okay. Simon had made valid points while she was out in the woods, but Luna was too afraid to take the risk and come back.

Maybe getting a shot was a blessing in disguise because now, she couldn’t imagine leaving without talking to Negan first. She just hoped that time apart would allow the both of them to gain a better understanding of their feelings.

After her dinner, Simon picked the tray from her bed and set it aside. “So, I talked to Dr. Carson… He said you can stay in my room for the remainder of your recovery.”

She nodded, looking up at him. “Do you have a window?”

“Window? Oh, right. The moon… No, I don’t.”

Luna sighed, draping her legs over the edge of the bed. She stood on wobbly feet, holding onto the mattress for stability. Simon quickly came to her side and held her steady, grabbing a pair of sweatpants that he brought in earlier today.

“Let me help you, okay?” he said softly, kneeling to let each of her legs slide into the sweatpants. Once she accomplished it, Simon stood and wrapped the tie around her waist to secure it tightly.

Luna took the black tank top from Simon’s grasp and carefully slid it over her body, biting her lower lip at the stiffness. She looked up at him and bit her lower lip, tilting her head slightly.

“You don’t have to do this, you know…”

“Do what?” he asked.

“Take care of me.”

“Yes, I do and I will. I’ve gotta make it up to you somehow.”

Luna smiled slowly, “Ice cream? Do you have ice cream? You’ll definitely make it up to me that way.”

“You know, as a matter of fact, I do. It’s in my room. Can you walk?” he smiled.

“I can manage.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

Simon walked at her pace, which was slower than normal. He made sure to hover a hand on her back when he noticed that a few of her steps had become a bit wobbly and unbalanced. The walk to his room was quiet, but Simon knew that Luna had one thing on her mind. She was preparing herself to talk to Negan. He didn’t know when it was going to happen, but Simon was just relieved to know that Luna was going to give Negan a chance regardless.

Once at his room, he opened the door and motioned her inside. Luna was surprised to see how neat and clean his room was. There was a full-sized bed in the middle of the room and a small couch near the corner with a television facing it. Luna noticed the refrigerator and the counter along it that held a few snacks she assumed he kept to himself.

“You’re taking the bed,” he said, interrupting her thoughts.

“Simon, it’s fine. I can take the couch.”

“It wasn’t up for debate. I want you recovered just as badly as you do and sleeping on an uncomfortable couch won’t help at all.”

Luna sighed in defeat, sitting carefully on the bed. She looked up at him and then dropped her eyes, planning a way to sneak out to look at the moon.

“You said you have ice cream.” she mumbled.

Simon chuckled, grabbing two spoons from his drawer near the fridge and pulling out a tub of vanilla ice cream that the kitchen staff managed to create. He sat on the bed next to Luna and handed her the spoon, allowing her to take the first dip.

“I’m no liar, Luna,” he chuckled.

Luna grinned at the sight of ice cream. She took a spoonful and lifted it to her lips, grinning immediately. She sighed contentedly and gently rested her head against Simon’s shoulder. She would never understand why he or Negan took a liking to her, but she was grateful.

Luna always had trouble making friends in the old world, but now she needed only two people in her life: Negan and Simon.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“Everything… You could have shrugged me away like Denise, but you didn’t. Neither did Negan.”

Simon smiled, “We know potential when we see it.”

“I wish – I wish I could be a Savior, Simon. I could protect you. I could protect Negan, but –”

“But it kills you to know that the possibility of taking someone else’s life is always on the table,” he finished.

“Yeah… And I wouldn’t hesitate, just like I didn’t hesitate with that man from Alexandria. The minute he was going to strike Negan, I pulled the trigger. Your life, and Negan’s life, is much more important than mine and –”

“Stop. Don’t ever say that,” Simon interrupted. “Your life is just as valuable, okay? I’d kill for you, to know that you’ll be safe. Negan, too. Don’t ever doubt your existence, Luna. You were brought here for a reason.”

“It doesn’t feel like…”

Simon sighed, setting the tub of ice cream on her lap for a moment. He looked at her and gently rested a hand on her own, getting her attention. “Sure, yeah, bad things have happened, but you’re still here. The moment you came here, Negan and I agreed that there was something about you that we couldn’t put our finger on. As we got to know more about you, we realized that when we look at you, Luna, we think back to our old world. The innocence. The beauty.

“And yeah, this isn’t an ideal world where we can all live happily ever after, but what’s even better is that we still get to see another day. Everyone that is alive right now deserves to be, has a reason as to why they still are… Just like you, Luna.”

She bit her lower lip, tears stinging her eyes. She set the tub of ice cream aside on the nightstand nearby and instantly wrapped her arms around Simon. Luna cried into his shoulder, releasing all of the pent-up emotions that she had held in for so long. No one understood her like Simon and Negan had.

Simon was taken aback by her sudden gesture. Gently, he ran a hand along her back and shut his eyes, feeling her wet tears stain his shirt. Slowly, he lied back with her and held her to his side. He knew if anyone were to walk in, it would look like a completely different picture, but the feelings he harbored for Luna were simply platonic.

He held her the entire night, even long after she cried herself to sleep. The moment he moved, Luna held tighter. It was as if she was afraid to let go.

Sighing quietly, Simon relaxed and shut his eyes.

The following morning, Luna awoke quietly. She looked over to see Simon sitting on his sofa, tying his combat boots securely to his feet. When they made eye contact, Simon smiled and stood, walking to the bed.

“Breakfast is on the counter for you. I’m not going to keep you locked in here, but if you feel like taking a walk or anything, go ahead. Just be cautious. Negan may be patrolling the area,” he said.

Luna nodded, reaching for his arm when he was getting ready to walk to the door. “Hey, Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you… For last night. You’ve opened my mind to many things…”

Simon smiled, “I knew I should have become a therapist while I was still in school.”

Luna giggled, “What did you end up doing?”

“Few odd jobs here and there. Dropped out. School wasn’t my thing.”

“Shame. You’d have made a great therapist. You’re an excellent listener,” she smiled.

Simon chuckled, shaking his head and lifting his pants out of habit. He motioned to the door and winked at her, “Again, you’re able to roam around. Just beware that Negan may be walking around. Don’t forget to take your meds before you eat, okay?”

Luna nodded, “Yes, mother.”

“Oh, Luna’s a comedian now, is she?”

She grabbed a pillow and gently chucked it at Simon, hitting him in the face. He grinned, setting it back on the bed. “And abusive. My god.”

Luna shook her head with a small smile, watching him leave the room. She downed her medication and began eating her breakfast in silence.

Her mind drifted to Negan. If she were to take a risk and walk around the compound, she didn’t know what she would say if she just coincidentally bumped into him. She was sure, though, that she would envelope him in a hug, but even then that wasn’t enough to break the tension that she was sure would loom amongst them.

So, she decided to stay inside Simon’s room. Maybe in the next couple of days Luna would decide to walk around. For now, however, she opted to remain inside where she was hidden from everyone else.

Simon met with Negan in his office, looking over at him with an arched brow. He hadn’t asked about Luna since finding out that she was here, but Simon knew not to push the matter until Negan did first.

“Do you think Rick will deliver this time?” Simon asked.

“He fucking better or else we’re going to have ourselves a bit of deja-fucking-vu on our hands,” he replied.

Negan was sipping on his cup of coffee, looking down at the papers that were scattered on his desk. When Simon took a seat, Negan decided to take a break and look up at him. He cleared his throat and finally asked, “How is she?”

“Doing well. She’s up in my room now.”

“How’s that?” Negan asked hesitantly.

“It’s fine. She cried herself to sleep last night,” Simon admitted.

Negan bit his lower lip, his eyes softening instantly. “What? Why?”

“You know, I’m not too sure, but she was saying that her life wasn’t as important as ours.”

“Fuck, that’s a goddamn lie. She’s just as important, if not more,” Negan admitted.

Simon smiled, “I know. I told her that.”

“Did you hold her?”

Simon arched a brow. “I did. She fell asleep in my arms.”

“Fuck,” he mumbled. “Trying to do my fucking best to not get jealous right now. Let me tell you. It’s not working.”

“I know it’s tough to not talk to her when she’s literally just a few floors away, but just hang in there. She’s opening up more and she’s talking about you a lot, or rather, thinking about you.”

“How the fuck do you know?”

“Call it a hunch.”

Negan rolled his eyes. “I just want to see her…”

“I know you do, but you’re doing a great job at being patient. Who knows? Maybe she’ll put out when she’s ready.”

Negan chuckled, shaking his head. “That’s the least of my worries at the moment.”

“Wait, who are you? Did you really just turn down the chance to say something inappropriate?”

“I guess I did. It’s not just about sex anymore with her, okay? I just – I want her with me,” Negan admitted.

Simon smiled, “Sounds like love.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Negan mumbled.

“It’s okay to admit it, you know. Nothing wrong with it.”

“I’m going to kick your ass, Simon.”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry.”

“Damn right you are. Now, come on. We’ve got some shit to tend to.”

Throughout the day, Luna simply stayed inside Simon’s room. She used the open space to stretch her stiff limbs, careful not to overdo it. When she finished, she decided to watch television and play some video games that Simon had in his possession.

Needless to say, she was bored just in time for him to come back. Luna was sitting on the couch, reading a book when Simon walked in with two trays of food. He smiled in her direction and set the food on her lap.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Absolutely famished.” she grinned, taking her second dosage of medicine before beginning to eat.

“So, what’d you do all day?”

“Stretched. Watched some TV. Played some games. It was really boring,” she shrugged.

“Stretched?”

“My limbs were stiff from lying in a bed for three consecutive days. Needed to get some blood pumping through my veins somehow.”

Simon chuckled, shaking his head. “How are you feeling now?”

“I’m doing better. Pain isn’t really there and my stitches are healing, so that’s a good sign.”

Simon nodded, watching as she ate the rest of her food. Setting his own tray down for a moment, he turned to face her and gently rested a hand on her own.

“Yes?” she asked.

“I’m just really glad that you’re here… And alive.”

“Thanks. Me too.” Luna smiled, finishing her food. “Do you mind if I go outside tonight?”

“Gonna stargaze?”

“Yeah…”

Simon smiled, “Go on ahead.”

“Thank you,” she kissed his cheek and grabbed a sweater to put over her shirt, slipping on her running shoes.

Luna carefully descended the stairs, making sure that she was taking her time with each step. Once she made it outside, Luna climbed another set of stairs to a single outpost. It usually wasn’t as heavily as guarded, so when she saw a Savior, she simply stated that Simon said it was okay.

She sat near the ledge and looked up at the night sky, biting her lower lip as her mind drifted to Negan once more.

She wondered if Simon was lying to her about Negan being unaware of her presence in the Sanctuary. If he was, both men were doing a wonderful job at hiding themselves. It had been almost a week since she was brought back and yet, she hadn’t seen Negan.

Though, just as she was thinking how grateful she was, Luna heard the sound of the familiar whistle and the quiet footsteps. She looked over her shoulder, noticing Negan immediately. She tried to hide, but he made eye contact with her the minute he saw someone sitting at the ledge.

Negan widened his eyes. He was not expecting to find her and he wondered if he should talk to her or just go about his business. Instead, he acted like he didn’t notice her and talked with the Savior that was on duty.

Luna waited and waited for him to appear, but he never did. When she looked over her shoulder once more, she realized that he left without a word. She was confused, but at the same time, relieved.

Another hour passed before she decided to head back inside. Luna walked quietly through the halls of the Sanctuary and finally stepped inside Simon’s room. She noticed him reading on the couch, lying down with a blanket draped over his lower half.

“Have a good time?” he asked.

“I saw Negan,” she blurted.

“What?”

“I saw him and I’m pretty sure he saw me too.”

Simon cleared his throat quietly. “Did he talk to you?”

“No… That’s why I’m a bit confused. I know he noticed me, realized who I was, but he just – He walked away. Why would he walk away?” Luna bit her lower lip, removing her shoes and lying back on the bed.

“Let’s say he noticed you… Would you have been ready to talk to him then?”

Luna shrugged. “I don’t know anymore, Simon. I saw him and I wanted nothing more than to just –”

“Mount him right there?” he winked.

“Simon!”

He laughed, running a hand over his mustache. “Okay, I’m sorry. What were you thinking of then?”

“I just wanted to hug him or have him hold me or…”

“Have him mount you?” he interrupted.

“I am going to throw another pillow at your head,” Luna threatened.

“Ooh, scary.”

Luna sighed, biting her lower lip. “I think I’ll talk to him tomorrow…”

“You sure about that, Luna?”

“Seeing him tonight… It made me realize how much I missed him.”

“Well then, it seems like you’ve got a big day tomorrow. Why don’t you get some rest?” Simon suggested.

“You’re right. Thank you, Simon… For everything.”

“Uh huh. Good night, Luna.”

“Good night, Simon.”

Luna shut her eyes, imagining Negan behind her closed lids. She wondered how tomorrow would go down, but ultimately, she was more than ready to talk to him.

#jeffrey dean morgan #jdm #negan #negan thirst squad #jdm fanfiction #the walking dead #twd #negan fanfiction #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #negan x oc #original female character #story: the moon #negan imagines #negan x oc x simon #simon the savior #simon twd #simons thirst squad #steven ogg

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doctordouzan-blog · 8 years ago

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Tales From RP - Chapter I: The Gundam Regret

Welcome back to the tales of a really bored RPer who wrote a lengthy post about some commonly found RP terms and some basic pieces of advice. I’m still extremely bored out of mind with nothing to reply to, so I decided to take a trip down memory lane. And for the sheer hell of it, I’m going to drag you all along under the pretense of teaching you lessons that’ll help your RP experience. Today’s lesson? Appreciate what you have. My roleplaying career started on Battle.net after my paternal aunt casually gave me my cousin’s Diablo disc. At first I played only by myself and avoided the online. But after my vacation was over and I was back home, my dad allowed me on the internet with the game. I called myself Cursed_Angel, and didn’t do much at first. Eventually, I found my way to the Town Square channel, which was a stomping ground for people bored out of their mind, and was often where multiverse RP happened. (Definition time! Multiverse, at least back in those days, meant an RP that combined several different universes at once. So instead of roleplaying exclusively, say, Marvel, you also tossed in Card Captor Sakura, Gundam, Sailor Moon, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, etc. A Multiverse character is either: a; a character that exists in a multiverse RP, or b; a character who exists in several different universes at once. Example of the latter definition: My character Rin Anderson is a multiverse character. She’s a dimension hopper that is constantly trying to find her way home, and winds up in different universes, where she abides by the rules of that universe and explores it before gaining enough energy to leave again. Multiverse RPs can be insanely complicated. Each universe has their own core rules, such as different rules on vampires and werewolves, magic vs science, telepathy allowed or not allowed, technology advanced vs Bronze Age equivalent, etc. Generally, if it is a Multiverse RP, it is assumed that the rules exist simultaneously and overlapping, and not at all. Confusing? Yeah, it’s basically a free-for-all. The definition of all of these could have changed by now, but that was, at the time, the definitoins of Multiverse and Multiverse Characters.) For whatever reason, my Battle.net server had a huge following of Gundam fans. We had clans as well, consisting of Gundam characters, mostly from Gundam Wing, and G Gundam. My little Cursed (Yes, her first name was Cursed) was an amnesiac little flower who flitted around with the Wolves, the Gundam Wing crew, the Shuffle Alliance, and even the Zoids pals. Eventually, she gained a Liger Zoid, and a Gundam that used a traditional cockpit as well as the G Gundam cockpit, based on whatever her needs were for fighting, and eventually even the Zero programming in the traditional cockpit. Looking back, I’m actually fairly proud of that achievement. Cursed never claimed to have those off the bat. Those were all gifts given to her by the other RPers. She gained the Zoid after repairing it with the tiny Zoid gang, and her Gundam was constructed for her by Duo Maxwell and Sai Sai Ci. She even ended up as a sixth member of the Shuffle Alliance, though I can’t for the life of me remember what she had. I want to say she was another Joker alongside Argo, and again, this was something the group decided on altogether. I was one of the few OCs to attain items like those without actually Mary Sueing/Godmoding and claiming I had them initially. They were items granted to her by the canon characters that she earned. If I could find a way to revive Cursed, I would. She is without a doubt one of my all time favorite characters, even though I cringe at how preteen Kayla RP’d, and what caused me to retire her. I mostly interacted with.. I think it was Kyoji_Kashu_, Duo_Maxwell, HeeroYuy SaiSaiChi_, and Domon_Kashu- or something like that. All the hyphens and underscores that RPers could love. We had pretty much a full set of characters and even duplicates, but we were the core players. Domon and Cursed were stalwart allies who fought in several battles together. Duo and Cursed were inseparable and terrifying troublemakers that should have never been left to their own devices, ever. Sai and Cursed bonded as two youngsters, a sibling bond between the two, and it was Sai who installed the additional cockpit into the Cursed Gundam- yes, that’s what we called it- to allow her to use the latex-loving piloting style of G Gundam. Heero eventually grew to treat Cursed like a little sister, and was the one that installed Zero on Cursed during some epic RP plot that I wish I could recall, but I think it came after Cursed ended up piloting Wing Zero when him and Quatre couldn’t. The character that I enjoyed RPing with the most, however, was Kyoji. Cursed and Kyoji clashed several times, enemies to the bitter end, as she sought to protect Domon and Rain from him. The fights between the two were pretty epic and Cursed, being the novice, hardly ever won. As we progressed through the plot and we did all that crazy ‘Oh he’s not REALLY evil, it’s just the Gundam!’ bizniz, the two grew romantic. The two had a bond that was incredibly deep, considering how novice of RPers we were at the time. As I grew better at RPing and Cursed’s skills grew from combat- like a proper character, she learned, adapted, and trained hard to become better- I grew cocky. I ended up betraying my character’s personality. Cursed was a soft-spoken girl, not unlike me myself. I was severely bullied growing up, and had little-to-no confidence. Cursed, meanwhile, was accepted in ways I could never be, and someone that I think in the end, I wanted to be like. I began to project my own insecurities onto her, and twisted the personality of my beloved character into something grotesque. She became arrogant, cocky, full of bravado, when before she was the girl that ran after Domon asking to train, or listened in rapt attention when Heero repaired his gundam. It wasn’t until I made the biggest mistake of my time RPing on Battle.net that I realized the path I had gone down. Cursed was interacting with Kyoji, and while I never can remember how it got to this point, I clearly remember Cursed boldly saying that she was far too strong to need Kyoji, and he was holding her back, that she was beyond his skill level. She destroyed him, and took off without a care, an act completely out of character for her, driven by my own need to be the best. Even worse, was my cockiness went OOC. I basically told him I no longer needed him, that I could RP with whoever I wanted, and that he was beneath me. That was the first time that I realized that my words could have an impact on the person behind the screen. Kyoji and Domon were played by real-life brothers, and Kyoji stopped logging in on that account. We had multiple accounts that we logged in and out of. I had Rikku from FFX2, a custom named Katsume, and Cursed. (I think at one point I had a Sai Sai Ci as well, and even tried my hand at a Heero. I have files somewhere with my old usernames but I found the e-mails I used to send to my boyfriend asking him to log on when I wasn’t able to, so I didn’t lose them.) I begged Domon to let him know that I didn’t mean it, that I was sorry. Kyoji logged in once and while we talked, it was clear that he wasn’t going to be coming back, that he was gone. My favorite RP partner was gone, and I stopped logging in for some time. When I came back, our Wing clan, our Shuffle Alliance, was gone. Sometimes Duo or Sai would log back in, but they had all made new accounts and moved on. It was never confirmed that I was the cause of it, but to this day, I still believe that my cockiness, my desire to be the best, my ego, broke up the group. When members started leaving, others left with them. We lost some of our most active members because I couldn’t control myself. I wasn’t happy with Cursed as a character, she had to be the absolute best. She had to be more, everything I could never be. I had an amazing Multiverse RP where my character had achieved what very few OCs could. I had fun, I had friends, and I always had someone to RP with, or play a round of Diablo with. Hell, when I got Starcraft later, I always had someone to play games with. If there is anything I want those who read this to understand, it’s to be happy with what you have. Be grateful for the partners you have, and remember that they’re people behind a screen. Remember that your words can have an impact, and that someone could become hurt by what you do or say. Don’t try to project your own insecurities, your personality, your ego onto your character. It never works out, and always makes a mess of things. If you reach the point where you have a community that is full, a community of friends that respect and care for you, treasure that shit always, and don’t let it go. Be apart of it, be respectful, and remember that whatever you do or don’t do has consequences. And Kyoji, if by some miracle you ever read this and remember Cursed_Angel from Battle.net, I don’t think I could ever apologize enough. I miss RPing with you, and someday, I hope I can find you again so that way, I can tell you how wrong I was to say such things. I was lucky to have you as a friend, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did, or what I lost. Someday, I hope to bring back Cursed, maybe even in a Gundam setting, but I know it will never be as amazing as our crazy, zany plots in Town Square. As always, feel free to ask if you have any questions regarding RP, or are just bored out of your mind. Next time we’ll be checking out one of the following stories. Got one you want to hear first? Send me an ask and tell me which one you want to hear, or Twit at me on the Tweeter. Otherwise, I’ll pick one at random. -”Kuroda, Tsunade, and the Best Boyfriend Ever (Not.)” -”When Your Demon from Dragon Age is Ivy from Soul Calibur (Wiki Edition!)” -”All My Characters are Besties and Text All The Time!” -”*Giggle* *Laughs* *Snorts* *Giggles* *Chuckles* *Laughs softly* (…What am I Replying to?!)” -”I Got Out of Hell and Turned Super Saiyajin! (All By Myself!)” -"King Douchebag and the Pink Vanilla Sky” - Starring Fuma Kotaro! -And many more!

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newyorktheater · 5 years ago

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James Corden at National Live at Home

Oscar winner Parasite debuts on Hulu

She Loves Me on PBS

Jodie Foster and Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver, on Netflix

Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman in Les Miserables, on Amazon Prime

There are no “openings” on stage likely this month, but there is much to see online for theater lovers and screen enthusiasts alike. Below is more than just the usual streaming services Amazon Prime, HBO, Hulu, and Netflix, though they’re all there. There’s also the newly created National Theatre at Home, which is streaming recordings of stage shows FOR FREE this month, from “One Man, Two Guv’nors to “Twelfth Night.”

Lovers of live theater should also check out Where To Get Your Theater Fix Online: Old Favorites and New Experiments — everything from BroadwayHD to the new downtown platform TrickleUp to 24 Hour Plays’ Viral Monologues. (Many of the exciting new theater-livestreaming sites haven’t yet planned a month ahead)

NBC has announced a rebroadcast of its Emmy-winning Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert for Easter Sunday, April 12.

National Theatre at Home

Each filmed production will be streamed for free on National Theatre’s YouTube channel for a week, starting on the date listed

April 2: One Man, Two Guv’nors The slapstick comedy starring James Corden

April 9: Jane Eyre Sally Cookson’s adaptation of the Charlotte Brontë classic

April 16: Treasure Island Bryony Lavery’s adaptation of the Robert Louis Stevenson novel, which premiered at the National in 2014

April 23: Twelfth Night The 2017 production of Shakespeare’s comedy, directed by Simon Godwin

PBS

Great Performances on All Arts

April 11 10 a.m..: She Loves Me

April 11 1 p.m. : An American in Paris The Musical

April 11 4 p.m.: Noel Coward’s Present Laughter

April 11 7 p.m.: Irving Berlin’s Holiday Inn The Broadway Musical

April 11 10 pm.: Kinky Boots

April 19 5 p.m.: Rodgers and Hammerstein’s The King and I

Playing on Air

The new season of this podcast’s short original radio plays

April 5: The Clam, by Amanda Quaid After a lifetime of playing it safe , a wistful clam (Tony Shalhoub) decides to come out of his shell, with the help of a therapist (Kristine Nielsen) April 12: Night Vision by Dominique Morisseau One night in Brooklyn, pregnant Ayanna (April Mathis) and her husband Ezra (Eden Marryshow) witness a sudden, violent attack. April 19: Wild and Precious Life by Patricia Cotter Friends and flames gather to celebrate and remember the life of charismatic, outrageous Sheila (Debra Monk) — but the dearly departed still has one more trick up her sleeve. April 26: Fake News by Doug Wright Anchors Bob Tunley and Fran Mercer are the iconic voices behind KLWP News Hour — but today, they’ve become the story. As bizarre and menacing soundbites interrupt their live radio broadcast, the studio crew begins to fear that they’re under attack. Starring Eisa Davis, Jeremy Shamos, Steven Boyer and Kate Finneran.

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Hulu

Hulu highlights: 2020 Best Picture Oscar winner Parasite comes exclusively to Hulu on April 8. The Hulu/FX collaboration Mrs. America, which stars Cate Blanchett as Phyllis Schlafly, premieres April 15. A screen adaptation of Sally Rooney’s popular book, Normal People, will be available to stream on April 29.

April 1

60 Days In: Narcoland, Season 1

90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?, Season 4

Alone, Season 6

The Ant Bully

Bangkok Dangerous

Breaking Amish, Seasons 2 and 3

Bend It Like Beckham

Blazing Saddles

The Book Of Eli

The Boost

Bring It!, Season 5

Chopped, Season 36

The Chumscrubber

Cutthroat Kitchen, Season 12

Dance Moms, Seasons 2 and 6

Diary of a Hitman

Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, Seasons 27 through 29

Dr. Pimple Popper, Season 3

Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who

Dr. T. and the Women

The Eternal

The Family Chantel, Season 1

Free Birds

The Food That Built America, Season 1

The Full Monty

Fast N’ Loud, Season 13

Fixer Upper (How We Got to Here: Looking Back on Fixer Upper), Special on HGTV

Forged in Fire, Season 6

Fun in Acapulco

Gator

Get Smart

Gods and Monsters

Gold Medal Families, Season 1

Gorky Park

Hidden Potential, Season 1

House Hunters, Season 120

Hud

The Jewel of the Nile

Kabukicho Sherlock, Season 1

Kids Behind Bars: Life or Parole, Season 1

The Kitchen, Seasons 16 through 18

Kill Bill: Volume 1

Kill Bill: Volume 2

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Let Me In

Little Women: Atlanta, Season 5

Little Women: LA, Seasons 7 and 8

Love It or List It, Season 14

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

Married at First Sight, Season 9

Marrying Millions, Season 1

The Mexican

Misery

Moll Flanders

Phone Booth

Property Brothers, Seasons 10 and 11

Repentance

Risky Business

Romancing the Stone

The Sender

Shirley Valentine

Spider-Man

Taken at Birth, Season 1

Til Death Do Us Part, Season 1

TRANsitioning, Season 1

Trapped: The Alex Cooper Story

Victoria Gotti: My Father’s Daughter

Who Let The Dogs Out

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

Zombieland

April 3

Future Man, Season 3

Into the Dark: Pooka Lives

Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell, Season 4

Siren, Season 3 premiere on Freeform

April 6

Too Cautious Hero, Season 1

April 7

No Guns Life

April 8

Parasite

April 9

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, Series premiere on ABC

Kono Oto Tomare!: Sounds of Life, Season 2A

Little Joe

April 10

Real Housewives of Potomac, Season 4

April 12

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Season 9B

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic en Español, Season 9B

April 14

The Bachelor: Listen to Your Heart, Series premiere on ABC

The Baker and the Beauty, Series premiere on ABC

Songland, Season 2 premiere on NBC

Vault

Unlocked

April 15

Mrs. America

The Masked Singer: Sing-Along Spectacular, Special on Fox

A Teacher

The Messenger

April 16

What We Do In The Shadows, Season 2 premiere on FX

Harry Benson: Shoot First

April 20

Paranormal Activity 3

A Kind Of Murder

April 22

Special-7, Season 1

April 23

Cunningham

April 24

Abominable

April 29

Footloose

April 30

2020 Billboard Music Awards, Special on NBC

youtube

Netflix

Netflix highlights: All six seasons of the TV series Community, the films The Social Season and Martin Scorcese’s Taxi Driver on April 1. The Good, The Bad and the Ugly on April 2. Despicable Me on April 16.

Also check out the ongoing video-captured Broadway shows, such as John Leguizamo’s Latin History for Morons

April 1

40 Days and 40 Nights

Bloodsport

Cadillac Records

Can’t Hardly Wait

Cheech & Chong’s Up in Smoke

Community: Season 1-6

David Batra: Elefanten I Rummet

The Death of Stalin

Deep Impact

The Girl With All the Gifts

God’s Not Dead

The Hangover

How to Fix a Drug Scandal

The Iliza Shlesinger Sketch Show

Just Friends

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

Kim’s Convenience: Season 4

Lethal Weapon

Lethal Weapon 2

Lethal Weapon 3

Lethal Weapon 4

The Matrix

The Matrix Reloaded

The Matrix Revolutions

Minority Report

Molly’s Game

Mortal Kombat

Mud

Nailed It!: Season 4

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Pokémon the Series: Sun & Moon: S3: Sun & Moon – Ultra Legends

Promised Land

Road to Perdition

The Roommate

The Runaways

Salt

School Daze

Sherlock Holmes

The Social Network

Soul Plane

Sunderland ‘Til I Die: Season 2

Sunrise in Heaven

Taxi Driver

Wildling

April 2

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Violet Evergarden: Eternity and the Auto Memory Doll

April 3

Coffee & Kareem

La casa de papel: Part 4

Money Heist: The Phenomenon

Spirit Riding Free: Riding Academy

StarBeam

April 4

Angel Has Fallen

April 5

The Killing of a Sacred Deer

April 6

The Big Show Show

April 7

Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020: Part 3

April 9

Hi Score Girl: Season 2

April 10

Brews Brothers

LA Originals

La vie scolaire

Love Wedding Repeat

The Main Event

Tigertail

April 11

Code 8

April 14

Chris D’Elia: No Pain

April 15

The Innocence Files

Outer Banks

April 16

Despicable Me

Fary: Hexagone: Season 2

Fauda: Season 3

Hail, Caesar!

Mauricio Meirelles: Levando o Caos

Jem and the Holograms

April 17

Betonrausch

#blackAF

Earth and Blood (La terre et le sang)

The Last Kids on Earth: Book 2

Legado en los huesos

Sergio

Too Hot to Handle

April 18

The Green Hornet

April 20

Cooked With Cannabis

The Midnight Gospel

The Vatican Tapes

April 21

Bleach: The Assault

Bleach: The Bount

Middleditch & Schwartz

April 22

Absurd Planet

Circus of Books

El silencio del pantano

The Plagues of Breslau

The Willoughbys

Win the Wilderness

April 23

The House of Flowers: Season 3

April 24

After Life: Season 2

Extraction

Hello Ninja: Season 2

Yours Sincerely, Kanan Gill

April 25

The Artist

Django Unchained

April 26

The Last Kingdom: Season 4

April 27

Battle: Los Angeles

Never Have I Ever

April 29

A Secret Love

Extracurricular

Murder to Mercy: The Cyntoia Brown Story

Nadiya’s Time to Eat

Summertime

April 30

Dangerous Lies

Drifting Dragons

The Forest of Love: Deep Cut

Rich in Love (Rico de Amor)

The Victims’ Game

youtube

Amazon Prime

Amazon Prime highlights: Most James Bond movies are on offer starting April 1. The Bodyguard with Whitney Houston on April 1. The movie of the musical Les Miserables on April 10. The Joker, with Oscar winning actor Joaquin Phoenix, April 16. The musical drama film Footloose, April 29.

Check out also the musicals and other Broadway shows, some of them taped directly from the stage, that you can rent from Amazon Prime.

April 1

Bangkok Dangerous

Bird of Paradise

Blind Husbands

Broken Blossoms

The Bodyguard

The Boost

The Brothers Grimm

The Chumscrubber

Daniel Boone

Diamonds Are Forever

Diary of a Hitman

Die Another Day

Dishonored Lady

Dollface

Dr. No

Dr. T & the Women

Drums in the Deep South

For Your Eyes Only

From Russia With Love

Gator

Gods and Monsters

Goldeneye

Goldfinger

Gorky Park

The Hoodlum

Hotel Artemis

I Am Legend

Licence to Kill (4K UHD)

Live and Let Die (4K UHD)

The Living Daylights

The Lost World

The Man With the Golden Gun

Mark of Zorro

Moonraker (4K UHD)

Mutiny

Never Say Never Again

The New Adventures of Tarzan

Octopussy

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Repentance

The Sender

Shirley Valentine

Son of Monte Cristo

The Spy Who Loved Me

Tarzan the Fearless

Thunderball

Tomorrow Never Dies

A View to a Kill

The World Is Not Enough

You Only Live Twice

The Bureau: Season 1

America in Color: Season 1

Bronx SIU: Season 1

Dirt Every Day: Season 1

El Rey del Valle: Season 1

Foyle’s War: Season 1

The Mind of a Chef: Season 1

Molly of Denali: Season 1

Mr. Selfridge: Season 1

Our Wedding Story: Season 1

Vida: Season 1

April 3

Invisible Life

Tales From the Loop

April 10

Les Misérables

Rambo: Last Blood

April 14

Vault

April 16

The Lighthouse

Joker

April 17

Bosch: Season 6

Dino Dana: Season 3B

Selah and the Spades

April 20

Paranormal Activity 3

April 29

Footloose

youtube

HBO

HBO highlights: “The Plot Against America” and “High Maintenance” end their runs, and “Run” begins its run on April 12; the new series stars Domhnall Gleeson and Merritt Wever as people who flee into thrilling and comedic adventures, setting off from The Grand Central Terminal (where you could congregate without repercussions in a previous era.) Also worth watching: the fourth season of Insecure and one of my favorite movies, “The Kids Are All Right.” Theater fans might also be interested in “Glee: The 3D Concert Movie” and “Xanadu.”

April 1

Alpha and Omega, 2010 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, 2011 American Pie, 1999 American Pie 2, 2001 American Wedding, 2003 Becoming Jane, 2007 Clockstoppers, 2002 Daylight, 1996 Die Hard, 1988 Die Hard 2, 1990 Die Hard with a Vengeance, 1995 Dragged Across Concrete, 2018 Drop Dead Fred, 1991 The Family Stone, 2005 The Flintstones, 1994 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, 2000 Galveston, 2018 Glee: The 3D Concert Movie (Extended Version), 2011 The Great Gilly Hopkins, 2015 The Judge, 2014 The Kids Are All Right, 2010 The Lovely Bones, 2009 Loving, 2016 Monte Carlo, 2011 The Nice Guys, 2016 The Predator, 2018 Slumdog Millionaire, 2008 Something Wild, 1986 Sophie’s Choice, 1982 Team America: World Police, 2004 Ulee’s Gold, 1997 War Dogs, 2016 Water for Elephants, 2011 Xanadu, 1980

April 4

Good Boys, 2019

April 5

Atlanta’s Missing and Murdered: The Lost Children, Docuseries Premiere — HBO Original

April 11

It: Chapter 2, 2019

April 12

Run, Series Premiere — HBO Original

April 18

Stuber, 2019

April 19

Entre Hombre, Series Premiere — HBO Original

April 20

Shadows, Season 3 — HBO Original

April 23

We’re Here, Series Premiere — HBO Original

April 25

Bad Education — HBO Original

April 27

I Know This Much Is True, Limited Series Premiere — HBO Original

April 28

Autism: The Sequel — HBO Original

April 2020 Calendar of “Openings”: What’s Streaming on Netflix, National Theatre, Hulu, PBS Great Performances, Amazon Prime, HBO Etc There are no "openings" on stage likely this month, but there is much to see online for theater lovers and screen enthusiasts alike.

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