#''it's not the done thing'' thinks Selene

[ace-malarky]

👀👀👀 for soul of the party?

ooh ok yeah

I really need to bite the bullet and admit that this one has stalled out and I should start from semi-scratch lmao

anyway

Selene’s gaze drifted back to the Feral as Lord Gaulivant made the same speech he always did; congratulating every entrant, talking up the duels and the jousting and making slight mention of the magic rounds, and reminding everyone of the other engagements of the tournament. A mage in the duels wasn’t unheard of – and neither was a Feral – but it wasn’t generally… done. She itched with questions and could only hope that the Feral, that Jasper sa Adrassa would turn up at some of the more social events so that they could meet. There was something about his name, too, that was familiar. But Selene would have remembered if a family of Feral Mages lived in town.

[nicotachi]

my clumsy review aka my unorganized thoughts on Hit New Yuri Game "Love Curse: Find Your Soulmate"! you can buy it on steam here

cyn and i spent the past week or so playing through all 10 endings and i just wanted a place to write down all my thoughts. i feel like i have a Lot to say and barely anyone else to tell so i'm going to attempt to rein it in

under the cut is nothing but spoilers so tread at your own risk! also: i do not hate any ship, but if you are averse to ship hate you may not want to read any of my criticisms!

PLOT SUMMARY

you play as a 20 year-old lesbian (named selene yan by default) navigating her transition from college into the workforce. however, you are suddenly informed of a curse that will kill you in one year's time—the only way to lift this curse is to find your true soulmate (yay a girl) before then.

there are currently 4 romanceable options: your cute childhood-friend-turned-girl-next-door, your classmate's mysterious twin sister, your reliable upperclassman, and your intimidating boss at your internship. who will you choose??? 😳

OVERALL

wow. what a game!!! i have limited experience with visual novels as most of them have been linear. all the otome games i've played were written for straight female audiences (with the exception of kang jaehee of mystic messenger) and designed for mobile. this was my first foray into an honest to goodness Sit In Front Of Computer And Pick Your Girlfriend game, and this time for actual lesbians! and i liked it a lot! what stuck out to me with this game—and keep in mind my limited experience here—is that ALL the endings felt like legitimate endings, even the bad ones. for some characters, the bad endings even felt preferable! this made me feel respected as a reader/player, and gave me a sense of agency in that i was able to choose whatever ending i liked without feeling like other endings were more 'correct'. and boy, did i enjoy some endings much more than others.

there are two curious things about the game.

the first one is a unique mechanic. each character has two meters: an affection meter, and a ??? meter. i thought the affection meter seemed pretty straightforward: get the affection up and get the happy ending. however, this was not so simple for 3 out of the 4 romanceable characters with the second meter in question. if the ??? value reaches a certain number, this may trigger the bad ending for that character. while the ??? value is never outright explained, it seems to represent something different for each character.

the second thing that stuck out to me was that half of the characters' routes directly relate to the lore behind the curse. honestly, it took me a while to even remember the title of the game because the 'curse' part seemed irrelevant to me with my preferred route. while two of the romanceable characters' routes explain the origins of the curse and why you have it, the other two are completely independent stories that could live in a vacuum.

this is likely not the first time this has happened as this was a feature in mystic messenger as well; zen/jaehee/yoosung were labeled 'casual story' while jumin and 707 were labeled 'deep story'. however, it's still an interesting choice as i believe overarching plot relevance influenced the characters which influenced how much i liked each character and/or their route.

which brings me to the main reason i even started this review: RANKINGS. yes, i wanted to rank each ending, explain why i liked them, why i disliked them, and what i think they could have done differently. this is where my opinions will become Opinions so dread carefully (not a typo).

very conveniently, i saw this post which brought me this chart, which i will use to grade each ending:

and now...the rankings!!!

first, i will start with ranking much i liked each character. this is based on writing/design/overall vibes and enjoyment:

iris (by a fuckin MILE omg)

nyx

victoria

eleanor

next, here is the order in which i played so you can have some more context with each route's review:

Iris BE

Iris HE

Victoria HE

Victoria BE

Nyx BE

Nyx HE

Eleanor BE

Eleanor HE

True End

now, here is how i rank each route. this is mainly based on writing and enjoyment:

9. Eleanor HE

Score: ⭐

i'm so sorry eleanor fans. personally i think eleanor was done dirty. tragically, her pre-awakening chemistry with selene is very cute. she's the closest to a classmate that selene has out of all of her love interests, and therefore the closest in maturity level. their banter reminds me of like idk. rory and jess from gilmore girls. basically two people who feel comfortable riffing off of the other. and this is no coincidence; they mention several times how they feel they have known each other for years.

which is a shame, because the route starts going downhill after eleanor's memories are reawakened, which is pretty early on. her personality shifts and it no longer becomes selene x eleanor, but selene x someone who thinks she's jianghe. everything we know about eleanor is thrown out the window in favor of her becoming 'jianghe', whom we barely know anything about.

and i think that's one of the major issues: we never do learn much about jianghe. not in her HE, BE, or even the true end. we don't even get a sprite! how are we supposed to care about jianghe if we barely know her relationship with fuguang? was jianghe also a confident perfectionist like eleanor? was she just as playful? why do we so easily accept that jianghe = eleanor, when in other routes we make it a point that chimei =/= nyx and fuguang =/= selene?

sure, there are hints that eleanor has been controlling since before her memories awakened, but that's still related to jianghe as it's a result of the spirits she pissed off. maybe it would have felt better if being controlling were a core part of her personality, the way iris and nyx's flaws feel more baked into their characters (which is why i thought iris' house arrest was way more interesting but anyways).

what would i do differently? i honestly would have emphasized an internal struggle in which eleanor doesn't know if she wants to continue being jianghe—someone paralyzed by paranoia, fear, and regret—and instead live as eleanor, who respects selene as a fellow intellectual. the house arrest arc dragged on for wayyyy too long. it honestly made me root for nyx to come break us free. instead, what happens is we get a rather bland fairytale ending of us overcoming nyx and living happily ever after.

also, i find it a little unsettling that we never find out eleanor has been tracking us, especially since i read someone on twitter suggest she has been tracking us THROUGH THE SMART WATCH SHE GAVE US IN THE COMMON ROUTE!!! which honestly is a crazy cool detail

8. Victoria HE

Score: ⭐

(WARNING: i do not hate this ship but i can see how you might interpret this as ship hate, so beware)

i like selene and i think i like victoria (even though i wasn't a fan of her routes), but i think selene and victoria have negative chemistry. not a single unit of rizz together. 1+1=0. watching their mutual attraction unfold felt like watching one of those slow trash compactor videos. two cars backing into each other in a parking lot. just something very unpleasant that i didn't want to keep seeing, yet kept reading in hopes of being swayed—and it never happened.

TO BE CLEAR!!! this is NOT because i hate either character and not because of their age gap or boss/employee dynamic. my number one ship rn is gan/qing for god's sake which is both of those. and i think it's BECAUSE i love gan/qing and office romance that i was so put off by their development.

victoria is presented as this cold and intimidating boss who scares selene during her internship interview. and she just...becomes very soft and caring after that? she just starts hanging out with selene like she's on her level and texting her like a friend? to me, it felt like the writers wanted to ignore their power imbalance until they couldn't ignore it anymore, which felt worse imho. what's the point in even making them boss and employee if you can't lean into the forbidden love territory!!!

not to mention, the conflict in both routes is just...i feel like it doesn't do her character justice? victoria is this cold woman who has her own young subsidiary under the qi group, treats rosalie like an annoying cousin, but is powerless to go against them at the same time?

and when she does finally go against them, it feels...idk, too easy. selene barely even does anything honestly, victoria solves it herself. and she just sells all her shares for a cute intern she just met??? even her affection for us feels too 'easy'. i wanted it to come with more strings i think...the writing and reasoning just felt way too disjointed for me.

what would i do differently? for one, i think i would lean into the 'problematic' aspect more. this is the toxic yuri game for a reason!!

i would have preferred if victoria were engaged from DAY ONE. chapter 0 baby. it would have made her 'innocent' flirting with us all the more scandalous in hindsight and made us rethink her green flag status.

i also would have amped up their boss/employee dynamic with them both knowing it's a line they shouldn't cross (and do). for example, more subtle gestures from victoria under the guise of Work. hands brushing over paperwork, a hesitant pat on the shoulder, idk ANYTHING!!! GIVE ME SOME PRIDE & PREJUDICE!!! IN FACT JUST REBRAND GAN/QING AND HAND IT TO ME ON A SILVER PLATTER. it was a mistake to have so much of their flirting over text because it feels both out of character and kinda just? ick? idek. it would have been funnier if victoria were a super dry texter but gave mixed signals in person.

7. Eleanor BE

Score: ⭐

i gave this one more points because eleanor actually dies. NOT because i hate eleanor, but because actions have consequences and her death is the consequence of her and phoenix keeping selene in the dark and not respecting her agency.

however, it still has the flaw of the incredibly long house arrest arc, as well as something that bothered me: this eleanor feels incredibly vindicated by her actions, even in death. first it was the flower pot incident, then it was tracking selene and being able to die for her in the forest.

what would i do differently? well for one, i think eleanor should have had regrets in her dying moments. it would have been better if she had that final realization that hey, maybe controlling every aspect of selene's life, memorizing her schedule, and viewing her movements 24/7 IS bad and the reason she's dead. unfortunately, she's still too stuck on fulfilling jianghe's wishes and basically dies as jianghe.

6. Victoria BE

Score: ⭐⭐

i share the same gripes with her HE. however, i rate her BE higher because the ending is actually very interesting to me. i liked the line about selene realizing victoria and rosalie are still cut from the same cloth, that at the end of the day victoria will lean on materialism and privilege to keep selene at her side. the symbolism of selene kissing the ring instead of victoria herself is RAW AF. especially when contrasted with her HE cg (kissing the ring that belongs to another woman vs holding the hand wearing selene's ring, the drawn curtains vs open window, etc). really cool of the writers and artists to do that.

what would i do differently? same as her HE criticisms, but especially the bit where i think victoria should have been cheating from the start. i don't think it's unfair as there is evidence to support eleanor has been tracking us since the common route. i do appreciate that all the characters' flaws do show up in the common route/happy endings

5. Nyx BE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

before this route: oh nyx is just that childhood friend who is a littleeee bit clingy and unsettling but i'm sure she means no harm. i saw her kissing cg in the trailer it's very romantic she's just doing her best

during this route: holy shit she's an evil demon from our past and the reason why we're even cursed to die to begin with?

no real notes. banger story that gave me my first peek into the lore, more music tracks that were great and stellar voice acting from nyx. the backstory reveal and how they met bell was sooo cute. the final scene was raw af with selene being like "no. i'm not going to die with you because i don't want to 💃💃💃" and wanting to bid her ACTUAL LOVED ONES a proper goodbye. metal affff

also, the common cg with chimei lying with fuguang is gorgeous af chimei is literally channeling hu tao there

what would i do differently? well this one's a bit shallow but.....can they redraw fuguang and chimei's sprites please. the cg is so good just make it match

4. Iris HE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

i LOVE iris but i felt like the outcome of this route felt less deserved when compared to her BE. iris is such a compelling character whose cruel breakup with us was the result of her strong feelings of resentment (and let's be real depression). i NEEDED her to GET INTO her resentment!!! but what happens is that she is literally about to tell us wtf is her problem with her family when she gets interrupted by a phone call. and disappears from work. and we don't see her until a few days later by coincidence. and she begs for us to take her back and we do.

to be honest, i had played her HE second and initially rated it way lower than it is here, but i recently replayed it after the true end and enjoyed it a lot more than i did the first time. while their reconciliation was a little ? to me (see: next entry), their redo date was super cute. i love a good breakup and grovel and reconciliation, and iris giving the date her best was really nice to watch. she had spent all that time in the common route/beginning of her route flirting with us meaninglessly, so it was nice to see her doing it with the actual intent to charm us.

while i had initially disliked the scene in which she spills her feelings and asks us to to take her back when compared with the cafe scene in the BE (peak), i do like it for what it is, and i especially like the part where she politely asks us to not reject her as she doesn't think she can take it at the moment. 😭

the final section with the business trip was kinda meh (victoria, why are you asking iris who is supposedly on a different team and also a newbie to substitute for selene's senior coworker lmao), i do love the implied sex the night before. WE LOVE YOU FADE TO BLACK WE LOVE YOU DISCRETIONARY SHOTS!!! iris said it may take her a while to become intimate with someone (maybe someone who knows chinese can tell me what exactly she meant by 'intimate') but girl it only took you several months to eat her cookie huh?

what would i do differently? see the next entry mostly. but honestly, i would have revealed more about her family and resentment and hate here rather than leaving it up to the BE.

3. Iris BE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (Spicy🌶️🌶️🌶️🥵)

if you haven't guessed by now, iris is my favorite character in the whole damn game. her bad ending was actually my first route as i totally fell into the xuejie trap and did everything i could to please her. consequently and to my surprise, i overindulged her and activated her dormant yandere state.

i had some suspicions about her as selene continued to rebuff her attempts to get back together, but i too was caught off-guard when iris decides to ROOFIE AND CHLOROFORM US. OMG. they even get into the weeds with the details of the kidnapping to show how scary the situation is e.g. iris feeding us literal crumbs and water in the dark. girl when can we pee?

but oh my god. that cg. that iconic cg that apparently made the rounds on twitter that i had thankfully avoided getting spoiled by but you know what? if i saw that cg first i'd have bought the game too. the game seems to sell at least part of itself on the idea that everyone has a dark side, but iris' ending takes it up a notch with "everyone has a dark side, and sometimes their dark sides are also sexy." because goddamn iris!!! her whole schtick is being miss perfect who is tired of being perceived as perfect and wants to bare her ugly side too, but sorry xuejie your ugly side is kind of sexy too soooo idk...

this is becoming a hornypost for iris i'm sorry. anyways um what would i do differently? my main gripe is while i commend selene for being much stronger than me, her reasons for continuing to deny iris in the BE vs her reasons for accepting iris in her HE make no sense to me.

the divergence in iris' route happens after the bathroom scene, in which you can either choose to walk in on her phone conversation/cry session (increasing her ??? meter) or try to give her some privacy (increasing her affection meter). interestingly, if you walk in, she will lie and claim she was trying to create a situation in which you two would bump into each other.

in the bad ending, you take her to the cafe where you had your first date and where she also dumped you and she pours her heart out about her family, her insecurities, why she broke up with you.

and you still decide to treat her coldly after that.

i can see how this would make sense, sure. selene is incredibly hurt. iris doesn't get to just hit the undo button because she's feeling regretful one month later. but this also doesn't make sense, because in the happy ending where you DO take her back such a conversation doesn't happen!

what happens in the HE after the divergence is: she stalks you at your social gathering (ironically she doesn't kidnap you in this one), is interrupted by a phone call before she can tell you more about her family, you find out about her family by very nicely asking victoria (simp) to disclose confidential info from iris' personal file, and you randomly bump into iris at school (iris has long since graduated), where she cries and asks you to take her back.

what??

not to mention iris' sudden slip into crazy. hotness aside, when and why does she decide to kidnap us? does she go out and buy some chloroform after eavesdropping on our resignation convo? i'm not opposed to the yandere thing at all, i just needed a little more believable buildup. she goes from completely cold and resentful of being needed to "i want to make you need only me" in the blink of an eye. maybe the writers could have connected it a bit more—maybe her doubling down into the dependable breadwinner role is her rejecting her most honest and imperfect self, realizing her true feelings were what pushed selene, her only love, away.

but anyways. still good tho.

2. Nyx HE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

being a 'deep route', nyx's route does a good job of being a satisfyingly complete story that fleshes out her character while delving into the lore. the payoff feels good, and i like that the writers don't try to downplay nyx's red flags even after they officially get together. nyx being jealous of their cat that SHE originally took in herself is just as amusing as it is a concern.

what would i do differently? well, my main thing with selene/nyx is that while i do find them cute (as well as fuguang/chimei), i sort of get the sense that selene is partly with nyx because she sees her as her responsibility, much like the way fuguang saw chimei. while i was very impressed by selene's development from being the least interested in nyx (IMHO) in the common route to seeing her as a lover, i think part of me isn't fully convinced that she fully reciprocates nyx's intense feelings. their final cg is soooo romantic though it invokes the shoujo doki doki fr

1. True End

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

holy shit. no notes. the true end appropriately ties everything together. i loved the extra insight into fuguang's personality, the extent of nyx's crimes, as well as more tragic bell moments.

there is NO WAY the writers weren't teasing a lil selene selfcest, because holy shit that cg? with the cheek touch? and selene admiring fuguang's calloused hands which were so unlike her own? and becoming hyperaware of the fact that they are different people who happen to share a soul? there is nooooo fuckin way that she didn't feel a lil something for fuguang. my god.

the idea that selene travels into the past to save her own soul and ends up staying behind to save FUGUANG'S soul is heart-wrenchingly beautiful. and she becomes this wandering traveler who makes sure to protect herself/fuguang's reincarnation for eternity WHILE legitimizing every single route is just. wow!!!

if her curse weren't already broken by the paradox, it would have been broken by her true soulmate literally being the one person who shares her soul. time travel ALWAYS equals yuri. so so good. perhaps an unintentional aesop about loving yourself lmao

what would i do differently? i know the moments after fuguang passes away are supposed to blur, but some actual onscreen interaction with jianghe would have been nice. we literally know the bare minimum about her!!

ok let's wrap it up

you know what it's way past my bedtime so i should just end it here. in closing love curse was such a fun read/play and i enjoyed all the ways in which it wrinkled my brain and made me think about what i liked and what i wanted. i highly recommend you go buy it and support the devs so we can show how much the world wants yuri!!!!!

EDIT: cyn had to remind me of the actual order in which i played the routes so i edited it accordingly LOL. i think it’s actually because i disliked victoria’s happy ending so much that i started playing the bad endings first again

also, i mention 10 endings but only rank 9. this is because the 10th ending is the one in which you die due to not establishing a meaningful soulmate connection in time. currently, we’ve only read through iris and victoria’s versions of it. i do like iris’ a lot (shocker) because she sees you as a blip in her radar, something that could have been. i’m ngl i laughed out loud at victoria’s because why is my boss situationship organizing my funeral and not my own PARENTS LMAO

[rei-ismyname]

Magneto retires from the Quiet Council

Inferno has just happened. Destiny returned, Moira defected, and Xavier and Chuck's secret Duumvirate has been exposed - along with their lies and schemes. Neither man is trusted and Magneto has had enough. He is moving to Arakko to retire, though he still looks incredibly attractive.

It's implied that Xavier and Mags have stopped talking, or at least aren't confiding in each other. I don't believe for a second that Chuck wouldn't take a peek, but Mags wears that helmet for a reason. Sinister is delighted, Emma is still pissed about being lied to but happy Mags is leaving, Shaw doesn't give a fuck. We don't know what Kitty thinks, but it's a safe bet she's disappointed. Exodus looks like he's clapping his hands though his facial expression is clear.

Ororo knows what's up and still has a good relationship with Mags. They'll work together on Arakko. Colossus is mind controlled so whatever he says can't be taken at face value. Kurt is probably telling Mags off while imploring him to reconsider. Maybe. The loser husbands aren't popular right now. Mystique hates them both and with good reason. Destiny, on the other hand, is observing Sinister, as EVERYONE else should be. Sinister knew this was coming because he cloned Moira, so he acts surprised. It's not very convincing, in part because Destiny throws him off his game.

Xavier appeals to his sense of responsibility and their relationship, but Mags is just done. He doesn't have the desire to continue this farce. Exodus takes it as a personal betrayal - Krakoa is the promised land to him and quitting is blasphemous. Emma is just plain suspicious, zero trust in these men. She calls a vote to deprive him of any say in his successor - opening the door and kicking him out.

She's concerned that the loser husbands have a proxy ready to go, so Mags can retain his political power on Krakoa while scheming on Arakko. It's nothing of the sort, but she's been burnt badly. The vote passes and Magneto storms out.

The Quiet Council needs to fill his seat, so they put the word out. I doubt they told everyone, it's more likely an invite only/word of mouth thing. Nobody's learnt a damn thing.

Angel pitches on competence and being good looking. Monet pitches on being a better choice than Warren. Gorgon is there. Vulcan surprisingly applied - he hates Krakoa and most of the council. His experience is mostly war crimes and atrocities. Brand wants power to achieve her accelerationist goals and Beast, I don't know. He's not popular right now, though he has a PowerPoint presentation. The council doesn't even wait until he leaves the room before talking smack about him.

Then there's Selene, one of the worst people on the island. Top ten, easily. She actually has a great pitch and points out what the council lacks - a magic expert. She's so very right and they should have listened to her, just not let her anywhere near the council.

Hope agrees with me, and puts herself forward instead. She's the first person to actually pitch on representative government. The Five are the foundation Krakoa is built on but they're not 💯 with the decisions being made. They want a voice. A big reason the Quiet Council sucks is that it isn't representative or accountable. Hope's pitch could be the start of reformation. It won't be, but it could have.

Turns out this was Exodus' idea, stoking the dissatisfaction that was already there. We don't hear his reasons directly, and his faith is surely a factor, but it's implied he made the representation argument and pointed out the degree of influence she has. It's rare to see him counting votes and politicking outside the council chamber, but it's a sign he takes his job seriously.

Turns out he made a deal with the Hellfire voting bloc and Destiny/Mystique are indebted for resurrecting the former. The motion has enough backers to go to a vote immediately, with Sinister smugly calling how it's going to go. Taking time to deliberate would have been clever, but it's comic books. There's always tragedy in rushing making important decisions.

Sinister is right about everyone except Destiny and himself. When he votes no, Destiny does the same, which throws him for a loop. Destiny is playing her own game - saving all of reality. She knows they must be on the same side, but she also likes fucking with him. Sinister panics and changes his vote to ensure Hope sits on the council. It's very unsubtle, and he'll fuck everything up, but these idiots should have erased him from existence by now.

With that, Magneto is out and Hope is in. Selene is not happy, but she'll get her turn on the council only to sell it to ORCHIS. She's awful. Mags will be missed, but he has some hearty adventures on Arakko.

[butterflydm]

Scattered WoT rewatch thoughts (1x01-1x04)

This includes spoilers for s3, because my rewatch is adding some context to my thoughts for season three and the spoilers we know so far and book spoilers through Lord of Chaos:

1x01

I do think it's likely that Egwene's Accepted Test is going to mirror the scene with Liandrin gentling the man from the cold open, but Rand being in a river ties it more to Egwene and the Two Rivers. Egwene has been very associated with water so far, from needing to trust the river in s1 to undergo the rite to officially become a woman, to a jug of water being the symbol of the battle of wills that she has with Renna in 2x06.

We have been watching Egwene's and Rand's paths diverge from each other from their very first scene together - the first time we see them kiss (and have implied fade-to-black sex) basically is a play from Rand to buy himself a little more time with Egwene before she breaks things off with him. Afterwards, she tells him that their futures aren't going to be aligned with each other. We even see her reject his symbolic romantic gesture of giving her a berry, which he used to give her when they were younger.

Rand will later say that Selene is the first woman to see him as a man and it does feel like his relationship with Egwene is very tied up to his boyhood.

So, s1 has an ep1 post-coital scene where Egwene's abilities separate her from the possibility of a future with Rand, so we may see this mirrored (if you'll pardon my choice of words) in 3x01.

First Finn foreshadowing for Mat: the tiny noose-like bits of thread on Fain's wagon.

The Rand & Egwene on a cliffside rock scene is another one that we know gets echoed in s3, with Lanfear taking Egwene's place and changing the narrative.

I really like that Nynaeve's feelings about the Two Rivers are grounded in her personal relationships (Rand has also been hearing a lot of things about the AS to make him wary, going by what Tam says about them).

Mat provides gambling, alcohol, and fostering emotional sharing in the relationship between the three boys. And we see them showing care and concern back to him.

I really do love how the show took the concept of Bel Tine and tied it into the world mythology of the Wheel and reincarnation. Very good philosophical setup for the future. Wheel keeps turning and we keep trying to do better than the last time.

We also see Nynaeve's loneliness in the Bel Tine scene, which is what Rand talked about when he was talking about what Egwene choosing to be a Wisdom would mean - no family of her own.

Overall, the show does such good job of showing how this mountain village has held onto the old ways without even realizing the depth of what those ways mean.

The battle is so well done. The fear and panic of the villagers at first, and how Moiraine helps them. I am also going to stand up and say that i think that having (and killing) Laila was a good choice! It shows us the cost of the Trolloc attack, it sets up Perrin's fear over his own battlerage, it sets up Perrin's overprotectiveness over his love interest without making wild overprotectiveness just a Two Rivers trait. And it really made all the show-only reactors that I watched sympathize with Perrin instantly. It was a solid change.

Rand undergoes the first of many "my parents weren't what I thought" when he sees how well Tam fights with a sword.

I love that we see our EF5's courage so strongly but in different ways.

Our first glimpse of weaves and of Aes Sedai working together with their Warders! And we see how effective they can be together. We're going to see the limitations of Warders in s3, I think, because they don't help much in a Power vs Power battle, but for most trouble that an Aes Sedai has been able to get into before now, they were very useful!

Also: Egwene is wearing a bracer on her left wrist here that is very much like the one she wears in s3 (and that does kinda echo the sul'dam bracer).

Rand mentions earlier that stories say a single Aes Sedai is said to be able to turn the tide of a battle and we get to see that here when Moiraine pulls down the Winespring Inn to hurl the stones at the Trollocs.

Poor in-denial Rand here, who does not want to believe what his dad confessed to him on their journey to the village.

Rand, Egwene, Moiraine, and Laila all in blue here, in the aftermath of the attack. Both Rand & Egwene cover up their blue shirts with brown sheepskin coats for their journey out of the Two Rivers. Mirrors!! Foils! Following parallel but separate paths, which is part of why they can't be together.

Rand knows that this about him but he can't admit it to himself. I love it when stories continue to add depth on a rewatch.

1x02

We saw the danger of the Shadow in the last episode, now we set up the danger of the Whitecloaks. Another scene that gains depth on rewatch, as show-onlys will later realize that the Whitecloaks are murdering a healer here, once they find out more about the Aes Sedai. They are zealots.

"Sometimes brutality is the only path to mercy." Yikes!

This episode also brings in the evil of Shadar Logoth, a more ancient example of purely human evil that is not driven by the Shadow or Darkfriends. The city that ate itself alive out of paranoia and self-isolation from the world. A cautionary tale for what the Two Rivers could have become.

We get first lessons in Aes Sedai Oaths here, both their limitations and the ways to find loopholes around them. We also see that Rand confronts Moiraine publicly while Egwene also confronts her, but privately (because Moiraine is also clearly more comfortable having private confabs with Egwene over any of the boys - she's no Red but still has a wariness about men could channel).

Is this Egwene and Mat's only conversation? (And they are quickly joined by all the others)

We see Mat trying to lighten the mood, while Rand begins to show hints of leadership, wanting them to form a plan in case Moiraine turns on one of them.

I like the change that the show made in the Three Oaths, giving them a solid origin based in history - and tying it to Hawkwing also ties it to the Seanchan. The White Tower chose to leash itself to specific rules, while the women in Seanchan were forcibly leashed by their government.

Moiraine must feel so hopeful when she realizes that Egwene can channel and so the world might get a Dragon who can't go mad from saidin.

Genuinely, it is so baffling to me how some people watching the show were calling Rand clingy and trying to hold onto a dead relationship when it's literally Egwene sending the mixed signals and trying to cuddle up to Rand here, the episode after she broke things off with him.

Rand and Moiraine's first fight! We're going to get more of this in s3 as well, I believe. Moiraine trying to direct and control them, while Rand wants to actually know the endgame and what her plans are.

Poor Mat & Perrin forced to witness the fight afterwards between Rand & Egwene.

Mat is so good at defusing emotional conflict. He is the one who gets Rand to level out after the disagreements with Moiraine & Egwene.

We are shown the division in the Whitecloaks here - the Questioners being the true zealots, with the regular Children being willing to bend on matters of Aes Sedai.

Rand is gonna glare a hole in Moiraine's back.

The ruined bridge! Love all the old ruins in the Two Rivers area.

Mat again shows his emotional intelligence by starting the sing-along to boost spirits among the group. And we get a little history lesson. Fingers crossed for Mat singing again in s3!

Also: this scene made me cry during this rewatch.

We're briefly told here that they've been traveling for days, before the night when they go into Shadar Logoth.

Rand and Egwene work through a bit and come to better terms over the course of this episode but their main conflict of being on fundamentally different paths is not resolved. I'm guessing this will get echoed in s3 but they will actually fully accept and come to terms with their separate paths.

Perrin's first wolf encounter! ❤️

Once again, we see Mat reaching out to one of his friends to help them process - Perrin in this case, offering him a dagger that Laila had made for Mat and returning it to Perrin. I hope we get to see some of that in s3 with his friends in ep1. Mat is so sweet to his friends.

S1 - Rand goes to a dead city with Moiraine & Egwene; s3 - Rand goes to a dead city with Moiraine & Aviendha (based on the trailers).

Mat getting drawn to the dagger. Man, that is gonna fuck him up. My poor sad wet cat.

Our first plot-mandated split up - I do understand why we don't get a second Cauthor road trip since they did get all this time and focus together in s1, but I am definitely hoping that the change means we'll get them together again later on the series, hopefully spending time with each other in s4 (if we get it, etc). And I hope for a couple of good scenes before they part ways in s3.

1x03

We learn more about Nynaeve's grit and cleverness in the opener, as well as revealing that Trollocs will cannibalize their injured companions.

Nynaeve is such a badass here. 💖

I love this credits sequence so much. I understand wanting to spend every moment of the episode runtime but it's just so lovely.

Lan being impressed by Nynaeve tracking them. 💖

The Great Cauthor Roadtrip has begun!

"They say all roads lead there." "That's not how roads work." I love them so much.

Perrin & Egwene's roadtrip also begins. I do quite enjoy their scenes together even if I'm not getting the shippy buzz from them. But Perrin & Egwene both trying to light the same fire and not being certain who did it in the end... I hope we get a continued connection between them in the future (iykyk).

This episode is where we can clearly see Nynaeve's healer yellow under her warrior green. Perfect, no notes. All the scenes between Lan & Nynaeve in this episode are pure gold.

We can also see more clearly how Lan has a fancy pattern on the shoulders of his outfit.

Ishamael trying to suss out which of the ta'veren is the Dragon via dreams. Perrin dreams of Ishy here but Egwene doesn't seem to. The wolves herding them to safety in the scariest way possible lol I love them. They are probably trying to talk to Perrin but he can't see their visions yet.

Our first glimpse of an Aiel (dead in a cage). It really sets the tone for the town as a whole.

Hello, Thom! And Dana has her eye on the boys from the beginning. I do love Thom's song here and, of course, what it implies about Thom's sympathies towards men who can channel. I'm hoping for at least one good convo about Rand between Mat & Thom in s3.

Mat's keen emotional intelligence in display in previous episodes gets turned like a knife against Rand in this one and it hurts a lot.

"Someplace new, you can be anything you want. And no one's gonna know the dirt you were born in." We'll see Mat indulging in this idea a bit at the start of s3, I think.

Our first hints of Perrin's overprotectiveness post-Laila's death, and Egwene pushing back and offering compassion that Perrin doesn't feel like he deserves, and refusing to let him risk himself for her sake - they go together.

I think we got Aram confirmed for s3, so looking forward to his reunion with Perrin and how they might interact.

Egwene getting covered with the shawl of many colors.

Dana is such a good compilation of "every darkfriend on the road" that Mat & Rand encounter on the road.

Lol at Rand being so snippy over Mat when we know he actually thinks extremely highly of Mat. He's just mad at him right now because Mat is being an asshole for what seems to be no reason.

Our first hint that Siuan and Moiraine got a relationship upgrade comes when Moiraine whispers a pained "Siuan" when she's really out of it. Also they did a great job of making Moiraine look on the edge of death.

We get to see more of Thom's compassion when Mat encounters him at the dead Aiel's cage. Love our little lesson about Aiel here - and our first open hint about Rand's heritage, as Thom tells us red hair is rare outside the Aiel Waste.

"If you're going to take from the dead, the least you can do is bury them."

First mention of the Stone of Tear and the Lion Throne of Caemlyn.

Dana going for the kiss - start of a pattern there, the Shadow trying (and succeeding in s2) to deceive their way into Rand's bed. And she genuinely likes Rand too, but is still willing to betray him.

Our first hint of Rand using the Power, when he breaks the reinforced door.

I really like that they used Dana to give us Ishamael's philosophy. Break the Wheel to stop the pain of the world. I like that Mat encounters this again with Ishy at the end of s2 and we see him reject it.

Okay, Thom never openly tells either of the boys that he thinks they're the Dragon but he overhears their conversation with Dana and also assumes right away that it's the madness troubling Mat in the next episode.

Hi, Logain! I like how both Nynaeve and Logain are used to create doubt in Moiraine's mind over the accuracy of the prophecies.

1x04

Logain does a good job showing us all the scary foreshadowing for what the Dragon will be capable of. What Logain does to one country, Rand is supposed to do to the world, essentially. We see both the power and the madness here.

"What does a crown mean to the Dragon Reborn?"

Logain knows and believes in the prophecies and believes that he is truly the Dragon, with the voices in his head urging him on.

We do see Logain fighting and winning against the corruption here, healing the king instead of killing him.

I love what they've done with Logain so far in the story. I don't think we've seen any spoilers about him in s3 yet but I would not be surprised to see him.

We get to learn a lot about Aes Sedai in this episode, with Nynaeve as our main vehicle for learning the lore, which is great because of her prickly relationship with Moiraine.

The war party to capture Logain is comprised of Green & Red sisters and this is an authorized operation that we can directly compare to the unauthorized operation that Liandrin and her fellow Reds carried out in ep1. Logain is captured and shielded, not gentled on the spot. Then he is meant to be taken back to the White Tower for trial - I'm guessing this is actually meant to determine if he's the real Dragon Reborn. False Dragons get gentled and the true Dragon stays shielded until the Last Battle, to keep him from using the Power and going mad from the corruption.

Liandrin is so snippy and petty with Moiraine. I kinda do feel like she tried a flirtation with Moiraine in the past and got shot down.

I really love how the show gave the Warders their own subculture and community. We did not get enough of that in the books at all. A+ improvement.

We find out here how secretive Moiraine & Lan are around other Aes Sedai & Warders. We also learn that Liandrin is pushing against the Amyrlin's decrees and that there are rumors spreading about the unsanctioned gentlings.

Aram is lovely and charming. The show also did a really good job making the Tuatha'an endearing.

Rand and Mat bonding over their mutual paranoia towards the rest of the world: oh dear.

"I always knew women couldn't see men's weaves..." setting out right here that there is a distinction between the two Powers.

I like Alanna & Moiraine's friendship. And Alanna does a good job setting out the Green Ajah mission statement - the Battle Ajah, to prepare for the Last Battle.

Alanna worrying that the current Tower policy about the Dragon is too aggressive and might lead to the Tower gentling the Dragon Reborn and dooming the world.

Liandrin starts her work on trying to get to Nynaeve. Not sure if she already knows anything about the Two Rivers ta'veren or if she's just looking to subverting someone traveling with Moiraine.

Rand taking charge of the situation to de-escalate, while Mat continues to slip.

Lol at Liandrin being the one to tell us the Blues are ~just spies~ and then to give us the official line on the Red Ajah philosophy - the magic cops, basically.

Liandrin also makes it clear here that men are not welcome under the Red Ajah's tent.

Tying the Way of the Leaf into the reincarnation cycle of the Wheel makes so much sense and rally solidifies it and grounds it into the world.

Rand starts to worry that something is really wrong with Mat here. The little girl offering Mat the Birgitte doll is so sweet.

Rand trying to rationalize what's happening with Mat, and Thom tries to gently led him to the idea that Mat can channel. Very good conversation, because Rand is torn between not wanting to believe it of himself but part of him knowing that it's him, and his worries over Mat. Rand hears about the consequences of being gentled here, and then sees both gentling and mental illness up close in s2.

"Nothing is more dangerous than a man who knows the past." Appropriate for both Rand & Mat!

Having Nynaeve hang out with the Warders so that we can learn more about them is so good.

And our first poly relationship hints!

I like that we get to see Moiriane doubting herself and her path, questioning the prophecies. And Lan reassuring her that they're on the correct path, reminding her of the dreams and the Trollocs, that Logain doesn't fit what they know about how old the Dragon should be.

This story that Ila tells is going to echo in s3 as well, as we see the Aiel come up against this choice and the split between them happens as some of them pick up a spear while the others do not, choose to stay true to their original culture instead.

"Have you lost him?" "No. No, I would know if I had." Egwene still thinking about Rand, as Rand was thinking about her last episode.

Rand waking up and making that promise to Mat. Awww. "No matter what happens, I'm here."

The show really has set out such a strong foundation for Mat & Rand's friendship, so while them not being together in s3 isn't my favorite adaptation choices (though I do think I will probably love Mat in Tanchico) they do have a very solid foundation of relationship work already put into them.

We got Perrin's Ishy dream, now we get Rand. Perrin is hammering away (at Laila's body?), Mat is wandering around with a bloody red hand, and Egwene is yoinked away by Ishy. And Rand wakes up from that into a waking nightmare of seeing Mat surrounded by a murdered family and then leaving Thom behind to save Mat & himself. Genuinely, not having a good day.

Thom was already ride-or-die (or believe them to have murdered a family under the influence of the corruption but still be willing to help) for the boys here.

I imagine the pitch Liandrin is giving Kerene here is the same slippery slope that the Reds went down originally - these men are too dangerous for us to risk carting them all the way back to the Tower.

Nynaeve and Lan bonding over lost family. Very sweet moment. Cried a bit here too.

I do think this fight is serving as big foreshadowing for Dumai's Wells. The Dragon captured by the Tower, his forces rallying to free him, him breaking out to join the fight. We'll just be on the other side of the battle that time, as Perrin (and hopefully Mat, in this version, fingers crossed, come on, let him actually be Rand's general for more than ten seconds!) fight to free him from the Tower embassy, while Rand fights to escape.

In addition to Kerene's death, we see a Red sister shot up with arrows too, though maybe she lives.

Nynaeve's AoE heal that probably made Moiraine less inclined to believe that Egwene could be the Dragon, because of how strong Nynaeve is.

[e-dubbc11]

for November rain again...kat dahlia has this angsty ass brekaing up song called 'just another dude' and i think it'd fit great for some nice angsty fic for my man dean :)

My lovely Selene,

Thank you for sending in your asks, for reading and sharing my fics but mostly for being such a kind friend. And thank you for participating in my follower celebration, I hope you like what I did here. This song is full of angst, I love it! I’ll link it at the end and of course I had to give this a fluffy ending ♥️

Sweet Pecan Pie

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F! Reader

Warnings: Smut (18+ please or I’m telling!) Angst, fluff, a swear word or two

Word Count: 1.8K-ish

Summary: As the owner of a small diner, you encounter all kinds of people and one in particular comes to town on a mission but keeps coming back because of you.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

The first time he came to town was for a job, but first he stopped in for something to eat at your diner.

As his teeth sank into the burger, he moaned as the grease dripped from his lips, down onto the plate, and he made the same noise when he took a bite of the pecan pie he ordered for dessert.

“This is the best thing I have ever tasted.” He said with a spot of whipped cream stuck to his lips.

He said the same thing to you later on that night with his head buried in between your thighs lapping at your entrance, devouring you like a man starved. Whispers of his name turned him on as your orgasm started to build. His tongue moved in and out of you with long eager strokes while his hand gently pressed against your stomach to try and keep you flush with the bed.

As he continued to push you over the edge, a soft whimper escaped your lips, “Dean.”

Dean Winchester.

That wasn’t the name on the FBI badge he flashed earlier in the evening. Dean was his real name, along with his brother Sam, he told you the truth about what they did for a living…”Saving people, hunting things, the family business.”

And after he saved you from a werewolf attack, you saved him from having to find a place to sleep for the night.

You tugged gently on his hair as he continued to fuck you with his tongue, the modest pulls on his light brown hair were a silent plea for him to stop teasing you. It had been a long time since you had been properly fucked, you needed him, and he took the hint you were dropping. With each drag of his cock, Dean hit that sweet spot, bringing closer and closer to climax, whispering against your mouth, telling you how good you feel, how tight you are, and praising you for taking his whole cock like a “good girl.”

His hands explored your body like no one had ever done before. It was a surprising sensation, exhilarating, and you didn’t want it to end. Shocked by your own lack of restraint, your heavy breaths moved in tandem with his as his body ground down harder against yours, the wave of your orgasm building faster as your walls began to tighten around him.

Dean was just as desperate for a release as you were, thrusting and panting quicker now, you cry out his name just as you explode all around him, and your knees quivered as you tried to catch your breath.

Dean’s lips found yours again, his kisses were hungry and you obediently melted into those kisses while he hit his peak and a strangled moan fell from his lips into your mouth.

“You feel so good, sweetheart.” He told you, kissing the tip of your nose and smiling at you as he rolled off of you then pulled you close so you could fall asleep on his chest.

He stayed until morning, then it was time to move on, but he would call any time he was in town or close to town. The job only brought him into town the one time; he kept coming back because of you. And that’s the kind of relationship you continued to have with him which, you admit, was fun for awhile until you were starting to think that’s all you were to him…a piece of ass.

Did he have one in every town? Was that his “thing?” Did he save pretty girls from scary monsters then take them to bed like he did with you?

It continued for months and while you enjoyed every minute of it, you weren’t sure you wanted it to be like this anymore.

Tangled in each other’s limbs and wrapped up in the bed sheets, you finally worked up the courage to ask him, “Is this all we are, Dean? Is this all I am to you?”

“What are you talkin’ about, baby?” He asked in a confused tone.

Turning to face him, you asked, “Do you do this in every town you have a job in?!”

“What? No!” He shouted. “That’s what you think of me, y/n?! I don’t have to stay here and listen to this, ya know.”

Unraveling yourself from him and the sheets, you angrily threw on a t-shirt and got out of bed.

“Then don’t stay!” You replied, scolding him. “And hey, if you really want me to feel like a whore, just leave some money on my bedside table on your way out!”

You didn’t like looking like a fool, you didn’t like being used, and you certainly didn’t want to be around someone who didn’t feel the same way as you felt about them.

Your diner allowed you to meet a lot of different people from all walks of life, families, travelers, and even monster hunters.

You enjoyed Dean’s company, it wasn’t just the sex. It was the talking before and after, or when he asked you if you created any new recipes lately, and slyly asking if he could test them out before you put them on the menu for the diner.

He was so cute and sexy.

But he didn’t say much on his way out of your bedroom and out of your house, probably never to return, and leaving you alone to try and get over someone who was never yours to begin with.

**********

Weeks had passed without a word from Dean, no texts, or phone calls, and he definitely didn’t come into the diner. You were positive you had chased him out of your life for good.

And yeah, maybe you did come off a little harsh but you were certain it had everything to do with the fact that you had developed deeper feelings for him and knew he didn’t feel the same way about you. At least that's what you had assumed.

But instead of trying to talk to him, you chased him away like you did with every other relationship you had.

After closing one night, you decided to put on some music to help you finish cleaning and locking up for the night. Lately, you have been listening to a lot of angry girl rock music and tonight was no different.

You, you treat me like a fool

You're making me feel used by you

Oh what do I do to break loose

Oh I'm so confused

I guess I'll pay my dues

Why do I like this abuse by you

Oh what do I do to break loose

You're just another dude

Gritting your teeth and angrily scrubbing the counter, you continued to sing, pretending the counter was Dean’s face as you fiercely moved the sponge back and forth.

Oh, baby, you got me running running running running all over town

I got nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing to show

But these wounds are proof

It's all 'cause of you, 'cause of you

You're just another dude

With the earbuds in your ears, you didn’t hear the door open and when you turned around to find Dean standing there, you clutched your chest tightly as you felt your heart jump into your throat.

“JESUS CHRIST!” You shouted in surprise.

Dean smirked. “Nope. Just me, sweetheart. You left the door unlocked, you should be more careful.”

Narrowing your expression at him, you replied, “Very funny, Dean. What the hell are you doin’ here?”

“I’m here to talk to you.” He said. “Wait…Was that song about me?”

“They’ve all been about you lately. What of it?” You snapped, continuing to scrub the counter tops.

“Can you stop that so I can talk to you for a minute, please baby?” He asked.

You pointed a finger at him.

“Oh no, you don’t get to call me that.” You said.

Dean grabbed the sponge out of your hand and flung it across the room.

“The fuck are you doing, Dean?!!” You yelled.

“I want you to listen to what I have to say!” He said.

Leaning across the counter, you looked into his hypnotizing green eyes and said, “Fine! Talk!”

Dean wiped his lips with his thumb and forefinger before he started, You could tell he was nervous and not used to saying what he was feeling.

“Y/n, do you think I just move from town to town bedding local women?” He asked.

You replied, “I don’t know, Dean. That’s not usually a topic of conversation when your dick is buried deep inside me.”

“I do love how direct you are, sweetheart.” He said with a chuckle.

His smile quickly disappeared when he noticed how unamused you were.

“Anyway…I usually don’t come back to town after I’ve finished a job especially if I met someone. It’s a one time thing and they never see me again. I came back here because I genuinely liked you, I liked talking with you, laughing with you, eating your pie…both kinds.” He said with a wink and a devilish smile.

You were angry that he made you blush.

“And I usually don’t share my real name or life with anyone. I let you into my real life. I could have walked away after I saved you from that werewolf.” Said Dean.

“Then why didn’t you , Dean?” You asked.

A warm smile stretched across his lips as he replied, “I told you. It’s because I liked you. And I’m sorry I made you feel like you were just another notch on my belt because you’re not and look, my life isn’t exactly stable, I don’t have steady relationships because of what my brother and I do so—”

You cut him off by leaning across the counter and gently pressing your lips to his. Dean kissed you back, his hand cupping your cheek as you melted into his kiss like you had done time and time again.

It was really hard to stay mad at him when his feelings were pouring out of him like blood from an open wound.

“I like you too, Dean.” You whispered as heat rushed to your cheeks and you gave him a warm smile.

“You do?” He asked.

You nodded.

“Ok, well are you done listening to angry, man hating music? I did say I was sorry.” Said Dean.

“Maybe.” You said with a wink.

His tongue brushed against your bottom lip as you gasped against his mouth and he became frustrated with the counter directly in front of him so he climbed over and caged you in against the edge.

Dean nipped at your chin before his teeth clashed with yours in another aggressive kiss. You pulled away to ask him, “Are you hungry? I could make–”

He claimed your lips again and replied, “Oh I’m hungry sweetheart, but not for food. I want a taste of your sweet pecan pie, first.”

Warmth flushed across your cheeks as you smiled and replied, “I’ll lock the door, baby.”

Tag List: @munsonownsmyass @gijos @vaguekayla @stoneyggirl2

Others that might enjoy: @k-marzolf @jvanilly @fluffyprettykitty @deans-spinster-witch @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

[fishalthor]

I'm sorry I really HATE the whole Rand x Lanfear thing. I know everyone loves it and stuff BUT the thing, to me is, I just don't think it's very in character for Rand to do it. Like if you look really at it this could all unfold being HIS fault. Him letting Lanfear in is really making him look bad. Going behind Egwene's back with her? Knowing she's a Forsaken and being sweet with her? Yeah, no. It's very against type. Rand would never. It's not a good look at all. And even if he does change his mind once he finds out that it's her doing that to Egwene, the damage is done. How can anyone trust him? All that someone has to do is be all OH BUT I COULD BREAK MY OATHS and he'd be all 'awww well that's so sweet! I saw you nice once!'. (Nice right before she drilled into the Bore for POWER. Not for anything else.) Well, guess what? All the Forsaken had human motives before turning to the Shadow. Makes no sense. He's going to be all !!! at Moiraine but be nice to Lanfear? Don't like it AT ALL. Everyone always gets up on book!Rand for Selene but this is so much worse. It isn't like he doesn't know who and what she is. Especially with how he talks to Moiraine. I don't like this for him at all. This is really what I was hoping they wouldn't do back in season 2.

[englandsgirl18181234]

You may absolutely call me TV anon, yes ! And ty for actually bringing up Apollo, because right after I sent in that ask I got another idea that I forgot to include. Apologies for that lmao ^^;

How are the other gods reacting to the whole thing? Does Artemis know what’s happened to her twin, or is she going to figure out later on? How are they handling it all?

On top of that, going back to camp, how would Athena navigate her seizures, and more importantly, how is she handling the idea that more people might know of her condition, not just her dying? Dionysus, her children, the other gods on Olympus? I don’t think her or Apollo were ever wanting that to slip, even if it affects her so badly.

Many thanks for answering every question I and many others have, I love seeing how they might fit into the worlds you’re making and the possible storyline that help build ^^ 📺

Well then hello again, TV Anon! And it's all good!! I'm always happy to answer asks, so you're more than welcome to send as many questions as you like, even back to back!! It might take me a bit sometimes when the muses abandon me or I get busy, but I promise I'll answer them all eventually!

And I love chatting with you guys!! Your questions always make me think about my AU's in ways I haven't before, so it's really fun!!

And as for the other gods, they all know what went down. Practically all of Olympus does. Zeus intended being turned mortal to be a punishment for Apollo, blaming him for what happened with Kronos and Gaia because of his power over prophecy. So the whole thing was incredibly public. The entire Olympian Council was in attendance, including Hades and Poseidon. The rumor mill on Olympus is running wild trying to find a reason why Athena did what she did, and nobody is even getting close.

And the other gods on the Council are all shocked, not only because Athena tried to take the blow, but also because Zeus did it at all. They all knew that Zeus had taken blaming Apollo, but they had assumed that the punishment would be more symbolic. Something like what he did to Dionysus, sending him to watch over the camp for a century or two, not something like this. Not something that could be deadly if something went wrong.

More under the cut because this is getting long and I'm nowhere close to done yet!

Because in this verse, a god turned mortal is exactly that. Mortal. They can die, they can be killed. And they won't come back if they do. That's actually what happened to Selene in this verse. She asked to be made mortal after Helios faded and she was killed by monsters that came after her for vengeance against the gods.

And Zeus intended to fully strip Apollo of his divinity, to the point where he wouldn't have even been able to see through the Mist. Which would have left him entirely defenseless against any monsters that came after him for revenge.

It wouldn't have worked, admittedly, even if Athena hadn't interfered. The Fates wouldn't have allowed it, they like Apollo too much.

Zeus wants Apollo dead so he can keep Apollo's power for himself. Though that's not how that works and Zeus should realize that after Selene. He's blinded by his hatred for Apollo because Apollo can see the future and refuses to tell him how his reign ends.

But Apollo doesn't know either. Though Zeus never believes him when he says it. It's because it keeps changing every time Zeus tries to prevent it, and The Fates won't tell him what the final result will be.

But back to the other gods, let's start with Artemis.

Artemis is not taking things well. Her brother, her twin, her other half is gone. She can't sense him the way she's used to. She has to constantly watch him to know where he is now. And she hates it. She's half out of her mind with worry, constantly, because she can't watch over him. Not the way she wants to. Zeus has forbidden direct interference from anyone, even her.

So she's stuck on Olympus, watching her brother and wanting more than anything to go and get him, and she can't. And as she spends more and more time on Olympus, because she can't just leave, what if Apollo needs her and she isn't there, she slowly starts to see just how bad things have gotten while she's been gone.

Ares is taking things about as well as Artemis is. Which is to say, not at all.

The minor gods are terrified of Zeus, and they make no attempts to hide it. Her siblings treat their father like a bomb that's about to go off. Hades and Poseidon are basically ostracized by the rest of the Council, simply because Zeus doesn't like them. Very few people seem surprised by Zeus turning Apollo mortal, and it's nearly entirely the Olympian Council that makes up that number. Just how had she missed all this? And then Athena's condition gets out, and she's both hurt and horrified.

Why hadn't Athena trusted her with this? Why hadn't Apollo trusted her with this?! She was his sister, his twin, and yet he hadn't told her anything, no matter how hard it must have been to keep such a big secret from everyone. She's hurt and yet, as she continues keeping watch over her siblings, she's horrified by how they're so obviously terrified of everyone's reactions to this getting out. And she slowly starts preparing to intervene, just in case they're right to be afraid.

He never realized how much he depended on his bond with Athena to balance him, to keep him steady and unconsumed by the blood lust that dogged his heels. And now she's gone. Potentially even permanently.

And as time goes on, and he sees just how happy she is as a mortal, he slowly realizes just how unhappy she was on Olympus.

Athena was quiet and cold and distant on Olympus, pushing everyone away. Primarily to protect her secrets, though Ares doesn't know that yet.

And at camp she isn't. She's emotional and loud and loving. She laughs, loud and free and unrestrained. She willingly talks to people, initiating conversations which Ares hasn't seen her do in centuries. She even offers hugs, which she hasn't done since Ares and Hephaestus were young and upset.

And it's with everyone at camp, not just her own children. She even starts getting along with Jackson of all people, which Ares never thought he would see. Even his own children are included in her love, which surprises him more than he'll ever admit to anyone.

Ares can tell that she loves being mortal, and that, in a very similar way, she hates being a goddess. And he doesn't know what to do with any of that.

And when Athena's condition gets out? He's the first one to put together that it was Zeus that did that to her. And he blames himself so much for that. Because he was part of the game. And he could tell that something was wrong with her afterwards, that something had shifted and changed in her. But he had never confronted her or Apollo about it, and now he can't help but wonder what would have happened if he had. So he waits and he watches, waiting for a chance to make it up to them.

Aphrodite is in shock. She's never seen Athena act this way. So, so genuine and loving and encouraging before. She even sneaks down to camp, just to see if it's all an act to make the campers like her. But no, it's real genuine love and affection. She loves camp, she loves her children, she loves being mortal. And Aphrodite isn't sure what to do with that, because Athena had always felt... distant to her somehow. As if her emotions were being pushed down and smothered. And now suddenly they aren't anymore and it's almost overwhelming just how much Athena feels.

And when it gets out that Athena's dying, let alone about her condition? That she had been suffering and dying for millennia and chose to hide it instead of trusting them all enough to ask for help? Aphrodite is horrified and ashamed of how she'd treated Athena in the past. And she wants more than anything to make it up to her, but she doesn't even know where to begin. She clearly hadn't known Athena as well as she thought she did.

Demeter doesn't really care about what's going on with Apollo and Athena. She's taken aback by Zeus actually doing it, but once it happens? She doesn't care until news about Athena being dying gets out. Because she remembers what happened to Selene. The two were friends after all. So she knows that if Athena dies as a mortal she won't come back.

And suddenly, she realizes she cares a lot. She doesn't want her niece to die like her friend did. She doesn't want to have to face that absence again. She doesn't want to blame herself again, after giving Selene the idea in the first place.

Dionysus has no fucking idea what's going on with Athena and Apollo. And by The Fates, he needs a drink if he's gonna have to deal with it.

It's like they've totally switched personalities! Athena is smiling! Smiling! He hasn't seen her smile in millennia!! And she's laughing! She's getting along with Jackson of all fucking campers! He never thought he'd see the day that Athena got along with a son of Poseidon!!

And Apollo, in reverse, is quiet and withdrawn.

He tries to hide it, tries to be cheerful and pleasant and supportive like always. Tries to be the cool big brother he's always been in the past. But it's a mask now. One that Dionysus has very little trouble seeing through. (It was always a mask, Dionysus just doesn't realize it yet)

Dionysus is already tired of this mess and it's barely started. No one even knows about Athena dying or her condition yet, and when they do it's CHAOS.

Hades is quietly keeping watch over Athena and Apollo, even before it gets out that Athena is dying. Because he also remembers what happened to Selene and, more than that, he knows what happened to her afterwards, too.

Selene had gone to the Underworld after her passing as a mortal, had arrived the same way a mortal soul would. And she'd decided to return to the Void, return to Chaos, when she arrived there.

Hades doesn't want his niece to join his domain in the same way. Doesn't want her to decide she's so tired that she'd rather not exist then keep going.

Because he can tell that Athena and Apollo are tired, and that they're hiding things from everyone. Athena most of all. And when it gets out that not only is Athena dying, but that she was dying as a goddess too? He gets an inkling about why that might be.

He doesn't want to believe it, doesn't want to believe someone else might even have the power to do so. But once Athena's condition gets out as well? He knows. He knows and he can't deny it any longer. And he knows he has to intervene if he doesn't want his niece to fade entirely.

Hera is in much the same boat as Demeter, though she's also reconsidering the permanency of her position as Zeus's wife.

If Zeus is willing to do such a thing to Apollo, one of the most beloved gods on Olympus, than who was to say he wouldn't do the same to her?

And when the fact that Athena is dying gets out? She's suddenly a lot more afraid of such a thing. And even later, when Olympus finds out that it's not just because she was turned mortal, but that she was also dying as a goddess? That Zeus hurt his favorite child enough to cause permanent damage? Everyone is ready to work together to bring Zeus down, even Hera.

Hephaestus is mostly indifferent to everything going on at first, though he is mildly concerned about Athena and Apollo. He's only barely old enough to remember what happened to Selene, and even then the stories are almost entirely second hand because it happened just after his return to Olympus.

But when it gets out that Athena's dying, and about her condition? He's actually really ashamed of his first immediate thought.

Why hadn't she told him? Surely he would have understood the best out of everyone on Olympus. They could have commiserated, could have bonded over their shared pain. Because he'd never fully recovered either. He knew what it was like to be a god that hadn't healed right.

But then he realizes what he's doing and scolds himself for it. It wasn't about him, it was about Athena. And of course she wouldn't have told him. They weren't at all close when she'd been hurt, primarily by his own choice.

So he decides to just avoid the topic whenever it comes up. He's worried about her, but he knows he can't do anything about it. He fixes machines, not people, and if Apollo couldn't help her than he had no chance.

Back at camp though, Athena admittedly isn't doing too great. She's so on edge, just waiting for the others to come take advantage of her weakness. She's not eating enough, not sleeping enough, not relaxing enough. She's pushing herself to the point of exhaustion everyday. She can barely even bring herself to look her children in the eye once news about her condition gets out.

She's been hiding her condition for so long that she doesn't know what to do now that it's out in the open. She keeps automatically doing what she's always done, hiding herself away when she feels a seizure coming on and then leaning on Apollo for support.

The sheer stress of it all is making her seizures worse, making them happen more often, and all sorts of other things.

Her kids and the rest of the camp are all so worried about her and Apollo. Percy actually finds her in the middle of a panic attack in the forest during a sudden thunderstorm she got caught in. She's curled up on the ground, hyperventilating, scratching at her arms, just absolutely terrified. She's so bad off that she actually doesn't recognize him, confusing him for Poseidon.

He ends up sitting with her for like two hours until the storm passes, reassuring her and keeping her from hyperventilating herself into unconsciousness every time there's thunder. Once it finally passes Athena just drops, passing the fuck out. Percy actually has to carry her back to the main camp, where Apollo is desperately searching for her.

And Apollo is nearly as bad off as Athena is. They kept all of this a secret for a reason. He's terrified of what the others are going to do the same way Athena is, because now everybody knows that the two of them have been lying, to everyone, for millennia. He's fully expecting at least a few of the others to come down and get revenge on them for it, Zeus and Artemis most of all. Because he loves Artemis, he does, but she's never dealt well with being lied to.

He's basically glued himself to Athena's side so they don't get ambushed separately. He's going over the infirmary supplies like a man possessed. He even goes to Chiron and Dionysus, making sure they know what to do in case they need to evacuate the camp. Because he knows Zeus won't care about who else dies as long as he gets his revenge.

And no, Athena and Apollo were not planning on letting either of those things slip. Ever.

They were both fully prepared to spend the rest of their lives keeping Athena's condition a secret. And, in Apollo's case, to continue keeping it even after Athena was dead.

Sorry this took so long to answer TV Anon! And for how long it actually got. I didn't even get to all the gods! Or Percy and Annabeth's reaction!

But this was so much fun to think about, thank you so much the ask!! Hope you have a good day!!

[sherewrytes]

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 15

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki  @helightknight21@dylsw@ria-s-writes@sleepymothafterhours@sukunasstomachtongue@cosmic-lovr@imm0rtalbutterfly@kyo-kyo1 @7thsthings

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Chapter 15: Afraid

Sukuna's POV

I don’t know how long it’s been since they told me. A day? Two? Time is an endless blur when you’re locked away in this sterile, white hellhole they call a “psych ward.” The walls close in on me the longer I stay, and with every hour, every minute, the world outside seems to slip further from my reach. And yet, what I know, what I can’t escape, is that I’m stuck here, away from everything, and the one person I thought I could hold on to—Y/N—is out there, living a life I’ll never be a part of anymore.

Toji.

The fucking irony of it all. My best friend. The guy I’ve known since we were kids. The same guy who’s always had my back. The same guy who’s now with her. My girl.

It doesn’t even feel real, but the more I think about it, the more it settles in. Y/N and Toji. I can’t even hate them. I can’t even be angry with her. No, I did this. I pushed her away when I couldn’t deal with my own mess. I treated her like shit for so long that I should’ve known she’d find someone who could actually give a damn about her.

So, what the fuck does it matter now?

I clench my fist around the crumpled piece of paper I’ve been holding onto for the past few hours. My hands are shaking. My chest tightens. The cold sweat on my back feels like it’s sinking deep into my bones, but I don’t care. I reach for the Xanax Selene left me. It’s the only thing that calms the storm raging inside of me. It’s the only thing that quiets the thoughts—her face, his face, the memory of her with him, everything I’ve done wrong, everything I’ve lost.

Selene...

She’s been here with me, a temporary fix for a fucked-up mind like mine. She’s sweet. Not like Y/N. But she listens. She doesn't ask too many questions. Maybe if I just keep her around long enough, maybe I can numb the pain of losing Y/N. Of knowing that I’ll never get her back.

I pop the pill into my mouth, dry-swallowing it like it’s the only thing that’s keeping me from cracking wide open. I don’t know if it’s the drugs, or the silence, or the thought of Y/N and Toji together, but I feel the pull in my chest again, the overwhelming desire to break something. To tear down the walls that keep me confined.

But instead, I lean back in my bed, my eyes closing as I wait for the Xanax to do its thing, to dull everything into a low buzz. I can’t even cry. I’ve cried enough for this, enough for her. Now all I can do is wait.

Maybe one day, when I’m out of here, I’ll go back to my life. But what if it’s already too late? What if I’ve already lost her for good? Maybe it doesn’t even matter. Maybe I deserve it. Maybe I’ll just stay here, locked away from everything, from everyone.

At least I have Selene…

But it doesn’t feel like enough.

I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything anymore. I wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that I was high—fuck it. Mrs. Henry, my therapist, she could tell. She always could. I could see it in her eyes, the way she looked at me like I was some kind of puzzle she had to solve. But honestly? I didn’t give a flying fuck.

I’d skipped three sessions—two yesterday and one this morning. I’d been avoiding this place like the plague. Avoiding everything. It wasn’t like I was going to get better anyway. I knew what they were trying to do. They were trying to fix me, trying to get me to talk about my shit, my feelings, the stuff I didn't want to talk about, the stuff I couldn’t handle. But who the fuck cares? Why bother? They were all just talking in circles, and nothing ever changed.

So here I was. Sitting in front of Mrs. Henry like a damn puppet, waiting for the usual questions. I just stared at the floor, tapping my foot absentmindedly, trying to ignore the buzz in my head. I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears, could feel the weight of everything on my shoulders.

"How are we feeling today, Sukuna?" Mrs. Henry’s voice broke through the haze, but I didn’t answer immediately.

How the hell was I supposed to answer that? "Oh, I’m great, Mrs. Henry. Just living the dream. My best friend is sleeping with my girl, and I’m stuck in here like a fucking hamster in a cage. How about you?"

Instead, I just grunted and stared at her, waiting for her to move on to the next question.

She didn’t say anything right away. She was probably waiting for me to open up—waiting for me to spill everything like some kind of fucking therapy cliche. But I wasn’t in the mood for that. Not today.

I could feel the drugs working their way through my system, dulling the sharp edges of my thoughts, but not enough to make me forget. I couldn’t forget. Not about Y/N. Not about Toji. Not about the shit I’d done to ruin everything.

"You're avoiding the question," Mrs. Henry said, her voice calm but firm.

I looked up at her, my eyes barely staying focused. "And?"

She didn’t flinch. Of course she wouldn’t. She was too damn professional. She pushed her glasses up her nose and leaned forward a little. "You know this isn’t healthy, Sukuna. You have to face what’s going on inside."

"Yeah, well," I muttered, "maybe it’s easier to just not give a shit."

She sighed. I could tell she was trying to keep her patience. I wasn’t making this easy for her, but I wasn’t here to make it easy for anyone.

"So, what’s really going on with you?" she asked, her voice soft now, almost like she was trying to coax the truth out of me.

What’s really going on?

I wanted to laugh at her. What the fuck was she expecting me to say? That I missed Y/N? That I couldn’t stand thinking about her with Toji? That I felt like a fucking fool for pushing her away when she needed me most? Yeah, let me just tell her that, because that’ll make everything better, right?

But instead of answering, I just leaned back in the chair, closing my eyes, letting the buzz take over. I could hear her talking in the background, but it all sounded muffled, like she was far away. All I could think about was Y/N. And Toji. And the mess I’d made.

I’d fucked this up. Big time.

But there was nothing I could do to fix it now.

"Tell me, Sukuna," Mrs. Henry’s voice broke through again, "Do you think you deserve to be happy?"

I didn’t answer. What the fuck did happiness even mean to me anymore?

Everything felt like a fucking joke.

I let the words slip out, sarcasm dripping from my tongue like venom, but as soon as I said them, the laughter followed. Hysterical. Unhinged. It just spilled out of me, completely unbidden, and before I could stop myself, my chest heaved with the kind of laugh that made my throat ache.

"Of course I deserve happiness," I scoffed, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, but my voice broke on the next part. "Just like Y/N and Toji. I'm a shit guy who is now a mental hospital because I'm a fucking drug addict, because I felt like I killed my twin brother. When he went out without me that night. Now I'm here, just a broken man in a psych ward..."

I laughed again, the sound bouncing off the sterile walls, echoing in the empty spaces where I should have felt comforted by silence but instead felt suffocated.

"You know what's funny?" I choked out through the tears and laughter, barely able to breathe between the two. "You know what's really funny?"

I could feel it then—the crack in my chest widening, the kind of pain I hadn’t let myself feel in years. The one thing I refused to acknowledge was now spilling out of me. The tears came harder, the laughter turning into sobs I couldn’t stop. And through it all, I felt the weight of everything.

"I loved… I love her," I gasped, my voice cracking. "And I messed it all up. If I had just talked to her… If I had just been there, she wouldn't have gone to Toji. She wouldn't…"

I buried my face in my hands, the sobs shaking me, raw and unfiltered. I hated this feeling—hated being weak, hated showing it to anyone. But here I was, in front of a therapist I didn’t give a shit about, breaking down like a fucking mess.

"I fucked it all up," I whispered, voice trembling. "I was too late. I… I didn’t deserve her."

The tears wouldn't stop.

The room felt like it was closing in, the walls pressing against me, suffocating me with everything I’d been holding in. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this. I wasn’t supposed to care. But I did. I cared too much.

I sat up straighter, trying to compose myself, but every time I thought I had it together, another wave hit me, pulling me deeper into that dark pit. The image of Y/N with Toji haunted me, and all I could think about was how I had pushed her away when she needed me most. I could feel Mrs. Henry’s gaze on me, but I couldn’t look at her, not with all this exposed vulnerability pouring out of me.

“I thought if I just kept pushing her away, kept doing the shit I do, that maybe she’d get tired of me,” I mumbled, voice rough. “But she didn’t. She stayed. She was always there, even when I didn’t deserve it. And now… now I can’t even fix it. I can't fix what I did.”

The tears kept coming, but they weren’t just for Y/N anymore. They were for the lost years with my brother, for the way I’d ruined everything, for the fact that I had no one left to lean on except for myself—and even that felt like a joke. I thought about Selene. She’d been there for me, but she didn’t know me like Y/N did. She didn’t see the parts of me that were capable of loving someone without the constant shadow of self-doubt hanging over me.

“I never deserved her,” I repeated, this time more to myself than to Mrs. Henry. “I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve her forgiveness, but I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t let go.”

I laughed again, but it was hollow, empty.

Mrs. Henry didn’t say anything for a while, just let the silence fill the space. I couldn’t look at her, couldn’t face her judgment. What was she supposed to say? I was a fucking mess, a wreck who had made too many mistakes to count. I had no one left.

And yet, there I was, hoping I could somehow fix it. Fix what I had broken.

I leaned back against the chair, my arms crossed tightly over my chest. My words were sharp, coated with the bitterness I could never seem to shake. I felt like I was daring her to challenge me, to ask the questions I knew she was thinking but was too professional to ask outright.

"Go on," I said, my voice tight, sarcastic. "Ask me anything. I'm an open book now, aren't I?"

Mrs. Henry didn't flinch, just looked at me with that same calm, detached expression. It pissed me off. She always looked so fucking unbothered, like she had all the answers but was too patient to just give them to me. The silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating, until she finally spoke.

"Sukuna, you know this isn't helping," she said softly, not a hint of accusation in her voice, just a quiet understanding that made me want to punch something. "You're stuck on this idea that you deserve to be punished. That you're irredeemable. But that's not the truth."

I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped me, bitter and hollow. "You're telling me that? You don't know the first thing about what I've done. You think I deserve anything but this?" I gestured to the sterile room around us, the faded walls and the quiet hum of the fluorescent lights. "This is what I deserve, don't you think?"

Her gaze didn't waver, her voice still gentle but firm. "No, I don't. You think you’ve failed because of your past mistakes, but mistakes are part of being human, Sukuna. What you do next—that's what defines you. Not your past."

I wanted to argue, to throw every excuse I had at her, but something in her words made the fight in me drain away. The anger, the bitterness, it all seemed so pointless when she said it like that.

"Then why does it feel like everything I do just makes it worse?" I muttered, more to myself than to her. "Why does it feel like no matter how hard I try, I just keep sinking deeper? Why does it feel like she’s better off without me? Like I’ll only drag her down."

Mrs. Henry’s expression softened, and for the first time, I felt like she actually understood, or at least she was trying to. "Because you're not giving yourself the chance to heal. You're so focused on your guilt, on what you think you deserve, that you're shutting yourself off from the possibility of change."

I almost scoffed at that, but something in me held back. "And what if I can’t change? What if this is just who I am now?"

"Then you make the choice to stay stuck," she said quietly. "But you don't have to, Sukuna. You don't have to keep punishing yourself for the rest of your life."

I stared at her, something stirring deep inside me. Maybe I did have a chance. Maybe I wasn't as far gone as I thought. But even as the thought crossed my mind, the image of Y/N and Toji flashed in my mind, and the guilt came rushing back, louder than ever.

I couldn't look at her anymore. "I don't think I'm worth saving."

"That's not for you to decide," she replied gently.

I fell silent, the weight of her words pressing on me, but I couldn't bring myself to admit that she might be right. Could I really change? Could I really deserve something like happiness, like love?

For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t sure. And that scared me more than anything else.

I ran a hand through my hair, the memories rushing back as if they were right in front of me. The way my hands had shaken when I first tried something stronger, the way I felt like I was floating, then crashing harder than I’d ever known. I hadn't even understood what I was doing back then, but it didn't matter. I just wanted to feel different. I always did.

"The first time I ever tried drugs, I was 13," I said, the words coming out slowly, almost detached. "I had an older cousin who used to smoke a lot of weed. I stole his shit and took a pull. I threw up. Then I saw he had some other shit... MDMA..the pill kind. I heard his friends talking about it one day, how it made you feel... calm, euphoric. So, I bit a piece of the tablet."

I paused, trying to remember the exact moment, the way everything felt so... easy at first. But then, the come-down, the crash—it had been the worst part. That emptiness that filled me after I realized the high wasn’t going to last forever.

"I felt so... so calm," I continued, shaking my head. "But then the come-down... it was... it was unbearable. Like every single emotion, every regret I’d ever ignored was all hitting me at once. And I couldn't get rid of it. So, I kept going. Kept doing it, because at least it made me forget for a while."

I looked down at my hands, staring at the shaking fingers as the memories came flooding in. The mistakes, the people I hurt, the things I did to escape from the weight of it all. "At first, it was just to fit in. But after a while, it wasn't about that anymore. It was about feeling numb, about not facing the things that made me... me."

I could feel Mrs. Henry's eyes on me, but I didn't want to meet her gaze. I couldn’t. She wouldn’t understand. How could she?

"I... I didn't know how to stop," I muttered, looking down at the floor. "I couldn't control it. And every time I got close to getting clean, something would happen. I’d lose someone. I’d hurt someone. And I’d just fall back into it."

There was a long pause. I could feel the weight of her silence, but this time, it wasn’t the kind that made me feel judged. It was the kind that made me feel... seen. Like she wasn’t just looking at me. She was looking through me, past all the bullshit I threw at everyone, past the anger, past the arrogance. She was looking at the part of me that was still human, even if I didn’t want to admit it.

"I don't know how to fix it, Mrs. Henry," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know if I can."

She didn't answer immediately. The room was heavy with the unsaid, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I might actually be able to face it.

I let out a deep breath, the words coming out in a rush as I continued the story, letting the weight of it spill out for the first time in years.

"Jin was the one who caught me," I said, my voice quieter now, almost nostalgic. "He was the one who got me to quit the first time, or at least, lessened the shit I was doing. We both graduated high school, but we went different paths after that. He went to Pratt... and me? I got into Pratt too, but I ended up at NYU instead. Why not, right? Figured it’d be better for me, more 'prestigious.'"

I chuckled bitterly at myself, the memory of those days stinging in a way I didn’t expect. It felt like I was still running from something back then. Maybe I thought I could escape whatever was pulling me down if I just moved far enough away. But that wasn’t how life worked, was it?

"Jin always pushed me to do better. He was the one who really made me realize I had a shot at something better than what I was used to. But I fucked that up too," I muttered, shaking my head. "It’s funny. I thought going to a ‘better’ school would fix me. But all it did was make the emptiness more obvious."

I paused again, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. "Jin would have been the one to stop me from making the stupid choices I did, but he was gone, and I was left here... trying to piece things together on my own."

I leaned back in the chair, my gaze drifting to the floor. "And now, I'm here. In this place. I messed it all up. I hurt people along the way... including her." My voice cracked slightly as I mentioned Y/N. "If only I had talked to her back then. If I had been honest... maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way."

I wiped at my face, irritated that the tears were coming. I hadn’t cried in years. Not for anything, not for anyone. But now, all of a sudden, the floodgates were opening, and I couldn’t stop it.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, and wiped my face again. Mrs. Henry was patient, waiting for me to gather my thoughts. When she asked about Y/N, it was like everything else faded away for a moment, and all that mattered was that first moment I met her. The one that started it all.

I leaned back in the chair, staring at the floor, remembering it vividly.

"I met her at Jin's funeral," I said quietly, the weight of those words still hitting me like it was yesterday. "I didn't even know she was a part of his life like that, but she showed up. I remember seeing her across the room... she had this presence, y'know? Like she was both distant and right there at the same time. It was almost like she understood the pain everyone was feeling... but she wasn't just there to grieve. She was there to stand her ground. She had this strength about her that caught my attention."

I paused, trying to find the right words. "She wasn't like anyone else I had ever met. Most people were either too soft, or too fake... but not her. Y/N was real, in a way that made me both wary and drawn to her all at once. I don't know how to explain it, but she stood out."

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the weight of the memory again. "I didn't talk to her much that day, but I saw her with Jin’s family, my family, just... quietly offering comfort. It wasn’t until later—when I found myself at some party—when she and I actually spoke. She wasn’t someone who let things slide easily. If she had something to say, she'd say it. And somehow... I respected that about her."

I swallowed hard, the memory of the way she’d looked at me—eyes sharp, challenging, yet curious—still fresh. "I didn't know then how much she'd come to mean to me. I think I was just drawn to her from the start. But... I pushed her away... just like I always did with anything that got too close."

I shook my head, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. "Guess I thought I could keep everything at arm’s length, but Y/N... she didn’t let me. And in a way, I think that’s why it scared me so much. I couldn’t just push her away like I did everyone else."

I looked up at Mrs. Henry then, a mix of pain and regret in my eyes. "But now? Now I can't even tell her how sorry I am for messing everything up."

Mrs. Henry looked at me with a steady, calm gaze. She didn't rush me, just let the silence linger for a moment before she spoke.

"Sukuna," she said softly, "you’re holding onto a lot of guilt right now. But you need to understand something—pain doesn't get erased just because you bury it. You've been running from your feelings for so long, convincing yourself that it’s easier to stay numb, but it’s only making things worse. You pushed people away, including Y/N. But you’re still here, and that says something."

She leaned forward slightly, her voice gentle but firm. "What happened with Y/N and Toji... it’s not the end. You can’t change the past, but you can start making better choices. That starts with facing your truth, with dealing with the mess you’ve created inside yourself, and then, maybe, trying to fix some of what you’ve broken outside of you."

Her words felt like a punch to the gut, but somehow, it was what I needed to hear. I stayed quiet for a long time, my mind racing, the heaviness of everything pressing down on me again. But deep down, I knew she was right.

As Mrs. Henry wrapped up the session, I couldn't help but feel a bitter laugh bubbling up inside. She was right in some ways—if I didn't shape up, my time here might drag on longer than I wanted. But to be honest, the thought of staying in this psych ward, dealing with all the shit in my head, didn't seem like it mattered all that much to me anymore.

I nodded quietly as she stood up, signaling the end of our session. "I'll keep that in mind," I muttered, but I wasn’t sure how much of that was sincere. I didn’t give a damn about any of this right now. My mind was already far away, focused on the comfort of escaping it all.

She gave me one last look, as if she knew what I was thinking, but didn't bother to say anything else. As I made my way back to my room, I could already feel the weight of everything pulling at me. Maybe I could make it a little longer without breaking, but deep down, I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d give in.

I was told I had a visitor. I looked and I saw her YN

I stood frozen for a moment, staring at the door. My heart thudded erratically, like it was trying to break free from my chest. I couldn’t believe it. Y/N was standing there, looking just as beautiful as the day I’d last seen her. Her eyes met mine, and I could feel the weight of everything crashing down on me.

Was I having a panic attack? It felt like my chest was caving in, like I couldn't breathe. She was here. In front of me. After everything. I hadn’t expected her to come. Not after everything I’d put her through. The drugs, the silence, the distance.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. My hands were trembling, and I could see Y/N’s concerned gaze slowly shift from me to the room around me. She stepped forward tentatively, like she wasn’t sure whether to stay or walk away.

"Ryomen," she said softly, her voice breaking the silence. I could barely bring myself to look at her. "I—I don't know what to say."

Her words only made everything feel heavier. I wanted to apologize, to tell her how much I regretted everything. How much I missed her. How I fucked everything up with my stupid decisions. But I couldn't find the words. Not now, not like this.

I closed my eyes, taking a shaky breath. "You shouldn't be here, Y/N." The words left my mouth before I could stop them, and immediately, I regretted them.

She didn’t flinch, though. She just stood there, looking at me with those eyes that had once held so much love for me, before I ruined it all. "I had to see you," she said, her voice steady but quiet. "I couldn't just leave things like this."

My heart cracked at her words. She didn’t deserve any of this. Not the mess I’d made, not the hurt I’d caused her. Yet here she was, still caring, still worried about me. It wasn’t right.

"I’m sorry," I finally choked out. The words felt too small for everything I was feeling. Too weak. "I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Y/N. I don’t deserve anything from you."

She took another step toward me, her face softening. "You don’t have to say that," she said gently. "I’m not here to make you feel worse. I’m here because I care about you. Even if it’s complicated, even if you think you don’t deserve it."

Her words hung in the air, and for a moment, I felt like I could breathe again. Just for a moment. But the weight of everything still pressed down on me. The guilt, the shame, the regret.

But maybe, just maybe, I could let her in again. Maybe I could try to make things right.

I can’t do this anymore 

I sighed “Why are you here YN……I told you to stay away from me YN…..Where is Zenin?”

Y/N’s face faltered at my words, her lips pressing into a tight line. The warmth in her eyes dimmed just slightly, but she didn’t back away. Instead, she stepped closer, her gaze never leaving mine.

"I’m not going anywhere, Sukuna," she said softly, though her voice had a firmness to it that surprised me. "And you don’t get to push me away anymore." She paused, glancing around the sterile room before her eyes settled back on me. "Zenin’s not here," she said. "He doesn’t know I’m here. This is just me—just Y/N."

I didn’t know what to feel. Part of me wanted to yell at her to leave, to go back to the life she deserved, away from the wreck I had become. Another part of me, the part I hated, wanted to pull her into my arms and beg her to stay, to take all of this pain away.

But I couldn’t. I had ruined everything. And I wasn’t about to drag her down with me.

I looked away, clenching my fists. "I told you to stay away," I repeated, trying to push the words past the lump in my throat. "I’m not the person you think I am anymore. I’m a fucking disaster, Y/N. You don’t want to be anywhere near me."

I could hear her sharp intake of breath, the hurt clear in her eyes. But she didn’t let it show outwardly. Instead, she took a step forward, and I felt my chest tighten, instinctively wanting to pull back.

"I’m here because you need help," she said, her voice thick with something that sounded like resolve. "You think I don’t see what you’re going through? You think I don’t care? You think I’ll just let you spiral into this...this mess and walk away? I’m not like that."

I wanted to laugh, a bitter, hollow laugh. But I couldn’t even manage that. "You don’t know what you’re talking about," I snapped. "You don’t know how deep I am in this shit."

Y/N stood her ground, staring at me with a fire in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in a while. It was the same fire she had when we first met, the same fire that made her stand by me, even when everything seemed to be falling apart.

"I know you," she said, her voice softer now. "I know you better than you think. And I’m not leaving you alone in this. You don’t have to go through this alone, Sukuna."

I clenched my jaw, the words stinging in my throat. "I’m not worth it," I muttered under my breath.

She shook her head. "That’s where you’re wrong."

I could feel the battle inside of me—my pride, my shame, my guilt all warring with the part of me that just wanted her to stay. But I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t keep dragging her into this toxic mess.

I stepped back, my hands shaking. "You need to leave, Y/N. You need to walk away before you get dragged down too."

For a moment, she said nothing. Just stood there, watching me. Then she finally spoke, her voice low and steady.

"I won’t leave," she said. "Not now, not ever. You don’t get to decide that for me, Sukuna. I’m staying. You can either fight me on this, or you can accept that I’m here because I care about you. All of you."

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I wanted to argue. I wanted to tell her to go, to leave me in my misery. But as I looked at her—really looked at her for the first time in what felt like forever—I realized she was right.

She wasn’t going anywhere.

And deep down, I was fucking terrified.

I glared at her, my voice low and menacing. "You're with Toji now, right? My best friend. So why the hell are you here when I’m in here?"

My fists clenched, my nails digging into my palms as I tried to keep myself steady. 

Why does she keep doing this? Why does she keep coming back? I need her to stop... I can’t take this anymore.

"You're his girl now," I spat, each word dripping with venom. "Y/N and Toji..." I let out a bitter laugh that sounded more broken than I wanted. "Do you even know how many times I cheated on you, Y/N?"

She looked at me, her brows furrowed in confusion. "Once," she said softly, her voice hesitant.

"Eight," I snapped, my words cutting through the air like a whip. "I said eight times, Y/N. Eight." My chest felt heavy, my heart pounding so hard I thought it might break through my ribs.

She deserves to hate me. She should hate me. So why the hell is she still here?

Y/N's expression faltered for a brief moment, but she didn't step back. She didn’t flinch or pull away, not like I thought she would. Instead, she just looked at me, as though she were trying to figure out what I was doing, what I was trying to say.

"Eight," she repeated softly, her voice breaking just a little, but she still didn't back down. "You think that changes anything?"

Fuck, Sukuna. Stop this.

Her words hit me like a blow to the chest, and I couldn’t breathe for a second. My mind raced, the guilt overwhelming me. She had every reason to walk away from me. Hell, I had given her every reason to hate me, to turn her back and never look back.

"Yeah, eight times," I repeated bitterly, my voice shaking. I couldn't stop it. The words spilled out, raw and bitter. "You think I don’t know what I did? I ruined everything. I didn’t deserve you, Y/N. I still don’t."

Why is she still here?

Her eyes softened, but there was no judgment, no anger. Just a quiet understanding that I didn’t deserve. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle her pity, her forgiveness. She deserved so much more than this.

She reached out, her hand hovering near my arm as though she wasn’t sure I would let her touch me. But I didn’t pull away. And I hated myself for it.

"You don’t get to keep punishing yourself for things you've already done," she said quietly. "You don’t get to keep pushing me away, Sukuna."

I can't do this.

But she didn’t seem to be listening to the part of me that was screaming for her to leave. She was here, and she was determined to stay.

"You want me to leave?" she asked, her voice steady but soft. "You want me to go back to Toji and pretend I don’t care about you? Pretend that none of this matters?" She shook her head slowly. "You know I can’t do that."

I clenched my fists, my whole body trembling. "You should." My voice broke, but I couldn’t stop it. "You deserve better, Y/N. You deserve someone who won’t hurt you, who won’t ruin you. You deserve... happiness, not whatever this is with me."

She took a deep breath, letting out a sigh. She didn’t look at me with pity, or anger, or anything else. Just... calm.

"I’m not going anywhere," she said quietly, the words soft but firm. "You can push me away all you want, but I’m still here." She paused, meeting my gaze, and for the first time, there was no anger in her eyes—just... understanding. "You’ll never be perfect, Sukuna. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved."

And it hit me then, like a wave crashing over me: she still loved me. Even after everything I’d done, even after all the lies, the betrayal, and the destruction, she was still here.

Fuck, I don’t deserve this.

I turned away, my chest tight, fighting back the tears I refused to shed. I was broken—more broken than I’d ever let anyone know.

But Y/N... she wouldn’t leave. She wouldn’t give up on me.

I needed to do something. I turned back around staring at her. 

"I don’t want you, Y/N," I snapped, my voice harsh and unrelenting. "Gosh, when will you learn? When will you get it through that thick skull of yours?"

I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. "For a girl in a prestigious university, you’re acting daft, Y/N. Do I need to spell it out for you?" I leaned in, my words cutting and deliberate. "I. Do. Not. Want. You."

So why does it feel like I’m lying to both of us?

Y/N flinched as the harsh words left my mouth, but she didn’t look away. She stood there, silent for a moment, as if weighing what I said, trying to understand the truth behind it—or maybe she was just waiting for me to crack.

I had to push her away. I couldn’t let myself care about her. Not when I was this far gone.

"You think that’s going to stop me?" she asked quietly, her voice almost a whisper, but there was something solid in it. "You really think telling me that’s going to change anything?"

I clenched my fists, the anger building, but it wasn’t aimed at her. It was at myself. "You should walk away, Y/N. You should leave and forget about me. Don’t you get it? I’m toxic. I ruin everything I touch. Including you." My chest tightened as the words spilled out, ones I knew I shouldn’t say but couldn’t stop.

"You act like I don’t know who you are, like I haven’t seen the real you," she said, her voice steady now. "I know you. Even if you think you’re broken, even if you think you’re beyond repair. I see you, Sukuna. And I’m still here."

Stop. Just stop. 

I felt my throat close up, the weight of her words crushing me.

 I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve her care, her patience, her love. I was nothing but a fucking wreck.

I shook my head, the panic rising in my chest. "Why?" I hissed, my voice breaking. "Why the hell would you stay after everything I’ve done? After all the shit I put you through?"

She took a step closer, not retreating, not giving up. "Because I don’t care about the mistakes. I care about you, Sukuna. And that’s enough for me."

I looked at her, incredulous. "You’re insane," I whispered, a bitter laugh escaping me. "You really are. But fine, if you want me to keep pushing you away, then I will. I’ll make sure you see that I don’t want you here. I don’t want you in my life. Ever."

The words felt like daggers. Every time I spoke them, it felt like I was carving into something I could never fix again. But I had to—if I didn’t, I was afraid she’d stay. And if she stayed, she’d only get hurt.

I’m not worth it. I’m not worth any of this.

She didn’t move, but her eyes—those fucking eyes—kept looking at me with that same unwavering resolve. "You’re right. You’re not perfect. But neither am I." She paused, her lips trembling just slightly as she spoke again. "But I don’t want perfect. I just want you. All of you. Even the broken parts."

It hit me harder than anything else. I thought I wanted her to leave, thought I wanted her to hate me, but the truth was, I needed her. And that terrified me more than anything else in the world.

But I couldn’t let her in. I couldn’t let her fix me. Because if I did, I’d never be able to walk away from her when everything fell apart.

I turned my back to her, gripping the edge of the bed like it might keep me steady. "Go," I muttered, my voice raw. "Please... just go, Y/N."

But she didn’t leave. She stood there staring at me with her pleading eyes.

I FUCKING HATE IT

"Y/N," I started, my voice tense. "You’re—" I stopped myself mid-sentence, running a hand down my face in frustration. "You know what? Hold on."

I turned and walked away, spotting Selene across the room. I marched over to her, my jaw tight. "I need your help," I muttered, keeping my voice low. "I need to get Y/N to leave."

Selene’s lips curled into a sly smile. "I’ve got the perfect plan," she said smoothly.

I nodded and headed back toward Y/N, the knot in my stomach tightening with every step. Selene followed a moment later, her confidence radiating. She walked right up to Y/N, introducing herself with an overly sweet smile.

"Hi, I’m Selene, Sukuna’s girlfriend," she said, her voice dripping with fake charm as she placed her hand on my chest in a move no one else could see.

Then she twisted the knife. "Thank you for breaking up with him," she added with a saccharine smile. "I’m so glad I could finally have him now."

Y/N froze, her gaze shifting between me and Selene as the words hit her. I could feel the tension building in the room, thick and suffocating. I couldn't even look at her. The weight of the lie I just let Selene feed her felt like a thousand pounds pressing down on my chest.

"Excuse me?" Y/N’s voice was cold, her brows furrowing in disbelief. She looked at me, then back at Selene, who stood there, a smug smile on her face.

I could feel the panic rising in me, my heart pounding in my chest. I wasn’t supposed to be here, not like this. I wasn’t supposed to let this happen.

Selene, sensing my hesitation, took another step forward, pressing herself closer to me, her hand on my chest more prominent now. "Oh, I’m sorry," she said, her tone dripping with sweetness that only made the situation worse. "I’m Sukuna’s girlfriend. He’s been through a lot, and honestly, I’m grateful you decided to step aside. Now, I can finally have him all to myself."

Y/N looked like she was about to say something, but words escaped her. I could see the hurt in her eyes, the shock, the confusion. And I hated myself for putting her through this, hated myself for dragging her into my mess once again.

"Y/N," I finally managed, my voice low and strained. "You should go. You don’t need to be here."

I could feel Selene's eyes on me, waiting for me to back her up, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lie to Y/N like this. I couldn’t make her believe the fake picture I was trying to paint.

Y/N stood there, silent for a long moment, her fists clenched at her sides. "I see," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes flickered to Selene, then back to me, and she finally spoke again, her words laced with sadness. "I don’t know what I expected, Sukuna. But I guess I was a fool to think you'd ever really change."

Before I could say anything, Y/N turned on her heel and walked away, leaving me standing there, the weight of her departure settling heavily in my chest.

Selene’s smile faltered as she watched Y/N leave, and I felt the guilt gnawing at me, but I couldn’t stop myself. I had pushed Y/N away in the worst possible way, and I had to live with the consequences.

"Good job," Selene said with a fake cheerfulness, as if she hadn’t just made everything worse. "Now she’s gone. You’re welcome."

I didn’t respond. Instead, I stood there, staring at the door through which Y/N had just walked out, wishing I could take everything back—wishing I could undo the mess I’d just made. But I knew deep down, it was too late for that.

And this time, it wasn’t just me who would suffer the consequences. It was Y/N too.

Note from Author:

It's gonna get worse from here on out

[doubleddenden]

Onto gen 7- an underrated cast of characters and gen imo. I feel like people just hate on this because of lack of gyms and more text- even though the island challenge is the best breath of fresh air we've had in years. The story is really good and the characters have so much depth- they walked so the SV cast could run and the SwSh cast could trip, cry, and pee a little

Let's start with Elio, our boy for Sun and Moon. Vanilla wise he is about as generic as you can get, looking pretty much any little boy on vacation, minus the pants- I have literally never seen pants like that in my life. They look like they'd fall down a lot. He's so generic, but thankfully there's a pretty decent character customization option- a little less than xy in some regards, but you CAN remove the hat, so that's a plus.

The sun and moon/ultra protags are confirmed to look about 11- I've seen some funny people get creative with Wicke and say "actually miss I'm in college," which is pretty fitting for the time period of release for the majority of players. This a simple callback to RBY, but I will say it's kinda sad that they took that little ambiguity away and makes it a bit harder to project yourself onto the character. Not impossible, mind you, but you gotta try a little harder vs XY or BW, especially with regular Elio here. 6/10, barely tries.

Meanwhile, his Ultra variant gets a massive improvement all around. You're still said to be around 11, but the right art can make him seem older

Like this INCREDIBLE piece done to show off Ultra Megalopolis. Elio looks anywhere between early to late teens here.

But enough about that- the in game customization doesn't see too many additions, but enough to be different. Vanilla wise, Elio looks so much more unique and fun to play as on his own. The pants and tights definitely look a bit like Nate's (and also are one of a kind last i remember, unfortunately), but Nate is a terrible design, so it's fine. The bucket hat i didn't initially get, but now that I'm older and losing hair, I've been wearing one myself, and I think it is pretty neat now. This actually looks a bit how I'd dress in the summer, and I think that's pretty great all around. 9/10 design, massive improvement on vanilla

Chicken-Chan, or Selene as people call her these days- which I think is bad right after Serena- is a hit or miss depending on your audience. I'll say, minus the hat, this design is similar to Hilda in that this is an outfit I've seen women wear often in the summer around where I grew up. The baggy shirt is really comfy looking, covers a lot while allowing a nice breeze to keep you cool. The bag- as it turns out- is supposed to be a watermelon slice, changed to avoid racial stereotyping when selected as someone with darker skin. That's kind of sad, I mean I get why, but it would have been a fun thing to have in an ideal world. As it is, it's fine. The colors definitely feel more inspired compared to Elio, very tropical and summery, looking even more like a tourist on vacation.

The design definitely reads as younger than the last few FemCs, and this is sort of the point where Game Freak really starts making the girls especially look younger and younger each gen (except Akari of course). That's not necessarily bad on its own and for those not online or aware of the skeevier side of the internet, just leads to some unfortunate "art" that gets shown everywhere that maybe wouldn't have been nearly as creepy if they left them as ambiguously aged blank slates like usual.

Weird rant aside, I think Selene is a fine enough design, and in my Moon playthrough, I had plenty of outfits to choose from- definitely more of a defined binary compared to XY, imo, but still plenty to work with. 8/10, cute, but I hate the hat

Selene's ultra variant imo is just another improvement, ditching that awful chicken hat and taking a nice sun hat instead. This is definitely something I can see worn on vacation, and the colors of a mostly orange and white just look so good- makes me think of a refreshing glass of fruit juice. The braids are also really cute, and the sandals are more or less what I think Shauna should've had instead. It's such peak tourist, I love it. 9/10, cutie, love the hat

Of course, we got Hau now, the first standalone friendly "chooses the weaker starter" rival that kind of... becomes another pattern. Actually, a lot of Gen 7 becomes a pattern for future games, including hoodlum teams with a white collar real bad guy using science for their own selfish goals, bigger pokemon than average, angrier pokemon than average, the rivals having a chip on their shoulder or being in someone's shadow, etc etc etc. That's another rant on its own.

Hau is fine, not really my favorite rival, but I do think he tries harder than people give him credit for. In SM, I especially like that he kind of has an unrequited crush on Lillie, and that drove him to be a little braver and do a couple of bigger things beyond his pay grade- it's weirdly relatable, especially the heartbreak when she leaves. Otherwise he's a chill dude, kind of unrealistic in how happy he always is, but honestly he's a peak buddy I could see myself being friends with as a kid. He's strong- maybe not scary like Blue or Silver, but you do need to actually lock in for a few fights if you aren't overleveled. Not my favorite rival, like 7 on that front, but as a friend? That's an 8.

As a design, I think it's a good one. Definitely not threatening, super safe and chill looking, even when serious. I guess that's why some people dislike him as a rival, along with his pretty laid-back and cheery personality, but as a buddy, he looks pretty zen. I'd definitely wear his fit, it's so comfy looking and perfect for the summer, minus the not-crocs. I think I'd just make those black or brown sandals instead. Colors are a nice and warm tropical feel, definitely someone who enjoys the sunlight and radiates joy like it, too. The hair, I think, should just be black, but that's not really a crime to have green hair that dark- in fact it's so minor, I forget often that it's that color. Idk man, I don't get the hate. 9/10 buddy design- as a rival, sure, maybe that's a 6 on design, but a 9 on design alone. I'd definitely want a rival that looks like they would stab me, though.

HEY, a rival that looks like he could stab me! Gladion is a very complex and edgy looking character at first glance... and second when he starts doing chuuni shit mid battle... and third when he tells you to get out of his hotel room and fourth when- you get it. But, underneath all of that, he's a guy that clearly wants to do good- he looks like he'd stab you, but a lot of the Pokemon he has on his team- both in game and anime- rely on friendship to evolve. Lucario, Crobat, especially his Silvally. You could even argue his Porygon Z is a mark of his character- not super integral to his team until the title bout, but it is the only pokemon that needs to be traded TWICE to evolve, which alone says that he's a trusting and trustworthy individual. To top it off, in the Ultra games, he even gets a (ugh) Kanto starter, which would imply that Prof Oak maybe met him and gave him one, and we know Oak is a decent judge of character.

The complexity doesn't stop there- he's mean and intimidating as a defense mechanism, out of necessity after stealing Type: Null from horrific experiments and running away from the Aether Foundation. In fact, the anime, Masters, and Ultra games really do their damn best to try and make you forget that Gladion and his sister are survivors of child abuse. Gladion especially struggles a bit with the thought that he abandoned his little sister. He knows his mother is crazy and dangerous, and yet he goes in guns blazing to rescue Nebby abd Lillie, and also is more than willing to lead the Aether Foundation in Lusamine's absence. He doesn't smile often, but it feels like a reward, knowing all the pain he's gone through for the sake of something bigger than himself.

His design even exemplifies that- the tears in his clothes are supposedly from Type: Null going out of controll and attacking him once, which he's clearly developed some sewinh skills to make look part of the vibe, as if on purpose to push others away and make people worry less about him. As a character and design, I'd give it a 9/10.

As a rival, I feel like we battle just enough to get there right at the end, but I will say that I think he should have appeared and battled more often. 7/10 on that front, because he's less of a rival and more like someone testing us constantly- which being fair, I see why.

I know what you're thinking. "Lillie isn't a rival! What's she doing here?" Well, I think any fan of gen 7 will tell you that she is just as integral to the story as you are, and thus I'd say that makes her a secondary Main Character alongside you. Plus, it'd feel weird not to include her, she's the fries to the bacon cheeseburger of the rest of the cast, and arguably the soul of the story.

Her character arc is definitely more impressive in SM than Ultra- a fellow survivor of abuse that actually wears a symbol of it: her first outfit is heavily based on Nihilego, who we know Lusamine has a very unhealthy obsession with. She's less like a little girl and more like a doll made to dress a part she didn't want. Still, her bravery is off the charts- stealing Nebby without a single other Pokemon to help her is very, very brave, especially considering she was in the heart of enemy territory.

It isn't really until she's brave enough to stand up to her own mother that she finally decides to try something new. "Z POWER" Lilly looks so much more confident and sure of herself. She's still in white with hues of baby blue, but that's her choice, and sort of paints her as a protagonist that's a blank canvas- her future finally being her own to decide. She has no Pokemon (other than Nebby and later a Clefairy), but she's still brave enough to jump into ultra space to try and rescue her mother AND tell her off. She didn't have to forgive her for anything, but she does acknowledge that her mother was under the poisonous influences of Nihilego and opts to travel and find a way to save her. Her decision to go to (ugh) Kanto on her own is such a massive step for her, and her maturity to leave Nebby in our care is something that actually made me cry the first go around.

...then ultra sm kinda... undid a lot of that, lol. Lusamine isn't regretful for a single thing she did, but gets to continue like nothing happened. It makes some sense as to why Lillie decides to just keep living with Kukui lol.

Anyways, her design is part of her story, and her story is very deep and engaging. 9/10.

Next up... oh God it's Galar again

[ravenandmoon]

How my daily practice works ?

Alright, I think I can post about it now even though I'm not quite consistent for now because it's still a bit new for me to actually do those rituals each week.

Also, this post is about my practice and not something that you should do for yourself, I'm sharing this because I think it might helps at least one person here and, maybe, there are useful ideas.

Everyday

I try my best to write every morning to Erebos and Hekate, and I dedicate my morning routine (brushing my teeth, cleansing my face and and putting on moisturizer) for Aphrodite, I also put my favorite perfume everyday for Her and wear a bracelet I bought for Her too. It's easier said than done, but I also try to dedicate a time for writing everyday for Hermes and Apollon.

Monday (Moon) : Artemis and Selene

Journaling about the new week ahead, the habits I want to keep, the emotions I want to feel, the art and creation I want to make...Anything that is related to my mental health and protection, emotional well-being. I wear my amethyst for Artemis and write prayers for both Artemis and Selene. Sometimes I do tarot reading with a tarot dedicated to Them.

Tuesday (Mars) : Ares and Aphrodite Areia

Write down prayers and wear gold and red, pink or purple jewelry and make up. I wear my red garnet for Ares and I journal about the things I want to be done that day. For me, it's a day to take action, fight against procrastination and work on mental block.

Wednesday (Mercury) : Hermes, Apollon Mousagétês, Dionysos and Calliope

I write to Hermes, mostly. It's a day during which I do all the urgent stuff and the "short-term" project, like, what's need to be done this week for this week. I also write creative stuff like my novels.

Thursday (Jupiter) : Athena, Hephaïstos and Zeus

I dedicate this day for studies and long-term projects. I will do my school assignment, working on my future, doing stuff like commonplacing and read non-fiction books.

Friday (Venus) : Aphrodite Philommeidês and Aphrodite Aphrogeneia

The ritual for this day is pretty basic, actually. I journal about my week and offer gratitudes and happy moments to Aphrodite. Every single moments I felt happy, laughing or content.

Saturday (Saturn) : Hekate Enodia, Erebos

A slow day for a slow planet, and with that, Hekate Enodia and Erebos. I journal to them about grief, about bad stuff that happened, about sad shit, about regrets and dead-end, project that didn't go well or didn't happened...Anything that I have to give up, that I need to let go, go with Them. I also try to write down pieces of solution, mostly to Hekate though. Sometimes I do tarot reading with a tarot dedicated to Hekate.

Sunday (Sun) : Apollon Phoibos, Apollon Mousagétês, Helios, Hestia, Hera, Zeus

First day of my week and with that, hearth and sun. I write to Apollon and Helios, thanking them for the living things, and I also give my plan for the new week, talk about what I need to get done this week, talk about my dreams and so on. I also do house stuff like cleaning and cooking (I'm still a bit bad at that part though). Sometimes I do tarot reading with a tarot dedicated to Apollon.

If you're still here, you realize that there are deities that aren't here, yet I worship them too. Well, here are the main deities that have an altar in my place (not exaclty though, Hypnos has an altar but no ritual and Helios has a ritual but no altar). Anyway, some deities aren't this "fixed" in my practice, some are volatile yet they are in this list, another are just periodically there (like, for example, I worship Melinoë when I get back into my horror hyperfixation)...What I'm trying to say is that I still learn how to do my best. I try stuff and this is something I've recently come up with, I don't manage to do all of this everyday or week yet but I keep trying and it feels so good when I do it. Also, I'm actually way more specific with some deities, I just feel like this is not the right place and time to talk about it.

Thank for reading ! Have a great day/night 💕

[severalmoremutants]

Manikin cameo in Valkyrie??? Was not expecting that. Tbh I thought he was dead but it’s always nice when writers slip obscure characters into things and give them some attention.

A lot of Alpha Flight characters have vanished into obscurity but I think we should bring more of them back. Diamond Lil’s dead (casualty of Necrosha, thanks Selene) but that’s easily overwritten with a Krakoan resurrection. Laura Dean and Goblyn have been MIA for a while now, I feel like something interesting could be done with them. Nemesis is an underrated slay, we love a morally flexible queen (with a sword). Kara Kilgrave gets more attention on account of her connection with her dad, the Purple Man, but I still think she’s fun. Lord knows where Windshear ended up, not to mention the Alpha Flight (1997) kids and those randoms from 2004.

What the hell, bring them all back! Alpha Flight revival when?

[lorata]

Had a trainee ever tried to attack or kill a trainer in a fit of rage, etc. etc? If so, how did it turn out?

oh yeah all the time, they're running the tightrope of encouraging the kids' aggression and literal killer instincts while also maintaining the constant pressure to bow to authority without question

they don't expect the kids never to snap but they do expect them to fall back once a warning is given

a kid who breaks another kid's arm in training gets "excessive force". if they stop, we're good. even if the trainers step in (which happens with selene and petra), that's a warning -- stop, right now. those two always stop. but if one of them had pushed the trainers out of the way intending to kill the other in the moment -- they'd be out.

trainers, same thing. attacking them in a rage-blank is forgivable, as long as you cut it out when you're told. keep going after, you're done.

PLENTY of kids have lost it and tried to attack trainers when they're mad. ironically petra, who selene thinks is the most goody two shoes, has done it LOTS of times when selene hasn't, because she has a huge temper and gets embarrassed really easily and that impulse control drops to zero. which, ironically, is one of the reasons the trainers set her off in the first place BECAUSE she can't be doing that in the arena, if selene can goad her then so can other tributes and then she'll be dead. so they give her a seduction test she will definitely fail, they push every single button in her image training to make her crack, and then she attacks them. BUT CRUCIALLY when they tell her to stop, she stops. simmering, sure, but she stops and then she's immediately rewarded for that instead of scolded for attacking and it gives her structure and a verified feedback loop and it builds a comfort in authority that she was entirely lacking as a child

(brutus sees insubordination in petra's file with all the incidents but the centre sees a soldier properly trained, overconfidence aside)

(a lot of the rage-filled kids who do this -- the ones who manage to stop when told and don't get cut for excessive force -- manage to develop a sort of paradoxical authority-love because of it i think)

[itarobattemon]

Endlessly fascinating how the response to the gods in Downfall is going.

I really love how they tried to save everyone. They really tried to seek a different way. To not destroy the whole thing. (And from a storytelling/audience pov, the delight and horror in knowing how it all ends already, but still hoping to change the fate) Even as the gods debated the merits of mortals with such power.

And how it was that last wish from Selene that more or less sealed Aeor's fate. They could have just destroyed the genesis ward, and not the whole city. People, groups, families could have been spared. They were gods, they could have done something. But if everyone had that knowledge? Messy and complex. No one is safe. No one could be.

Gotta say, since the divine gate is being considered bc of all that happened, of seeing how people and celestials felt, if it shows anything it's that they really do care and they want to try and limit the destruction.

Cough, Both Asmodeus and Ludinus are wrong. They should not be killing gods. That is not the answer.

Also, seriously, it would make me think how Ruidus and all is not a benevolent 'just gonna eat gods' thing, but rather the end of ALL things. Not worth it! Just saying! Does this not prove releasing the god eater is a Bad Idea?!

[e-dubbc11]

for the november rain thingy I would love to request the faaabulous song by 3 doors down 'landing in london' and my fave boy billy <3

My sweet Selene, while I was listening to this song, I felt compelled to write this fic from Billy’s POV. I hope that’s ok!

Thank you my friend for sending in your asks and for being so supportive, for reading and sharing my fics and for being a great friend. ♥️

Always A Yes

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, couple of swear words, smooches

Word Count: 1.6K-ish

Summary: Told from Billy’s POV. He realizes there’s more to life than just work and doesn’t want to lose you but is he too late?

A/N: As stated above, this is based off of the song Landing in London by 3 Doors Down. I’ll link it at the end.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

She was the first one…and only one.

The first one who understood you, who showed you any genuine affection, the one you finally let see who you really are. And she was so…accepting.

It was an instant attraction when she walked into that bookstore, shaking the plump raindrops off of her umbrella, and revealing her beautiful eyes to you from beneath the hood of her raincoat.

She was almost disappointed that she had finally reached her destination. It meant she couldn’t walk in the rain anymore which was so pure in your eyes, like a child not wanting to get out of the pool because they were having too much fun.

But you wouldn’t know anything about that. The closest you ever came to a pool as a kid was the city flushing the fire hydrants on a hot summer day but that’s what you imagined she felt like after enjoying that walk in the rain.

She caught you staring, playfully scolded you for not wearing rain boots, and the rest is history.

She never judged you for the bad things you had done. It was the first time you had told anyone other than Frankie about her or him, the first time you let anyone in, the first time you…bared your soul.

It all made sense to her now…why you always had to be in control.

Slowly, she moved her hand from her lap and held it in the air before asking you, “May I touch you, Billy? I’ll understand if you say ‘no.’”

“It’s always a ‘yes’ with you, sweet girl.” You had told her.

Her fingertips touched the side of your head, her nails tenderly scratched your scalp, and brushed the back of your neck. Those touches were what you had craved ever since you were a kid, they were loving but not in a patronizing way or in a way where she pitied you. She touched you like you deserved it and she told you so.

“You deserve to be loved, Billy.” She had said with a warm smile.

The path you had been on before she came into your life just led to pain. You had gone through life fighting so many inner demons, thinking that you didn’t deserve love, that it was just a curse, and all the pain you’ve received was warranted.

She thought differently.

That’s why you hated to be away from her but you did have a business to run which took you all over the country and even all over the world.

You always felt terrible after lashing out at her. She didn’t deserve that. All she wanted was…you. And she understood you had a job to do, it just took you away from her more often than either one of you wanted it to.

You always promised to make it up to her with whatever she wanted but again, all she wanted was you. And during those longer business trips, the thought of her waiting for you back home was the only thing that brought a smile to your face.

Frankie always called you out on your bullshit.

“You found her, Bill. Don’t fuck it up.” He scolded.

She was never afraid to push back either which was another reason you loved her so much.

“Keep pushing me away, Billy and there'll be a day where you come home and I won’t be here!” She yelled.

That’s the last thing you wanted so you couldn’t lose her. You loved her and wanted her, forever.

Normally, you were calm and in control but on the flight home from London you were nervous and extremely anxious. Your thoughts were scattered like dandelion seeds after a gust of wind. Was she still upset after this last minute trip? She said she wasn’t but she didn’t answer your text this morning which you hated and she knew you hated it when she didn’t answer. She did it to push your buttons when you were being an asshole.

She normally met you at the airport, always so happy to see you, but after you picked up your bag, you looked around and didn’t see her smiling face.

“You have a good trip, handsome?” She always asked.

It never failed. She always asked about your day, your trip, if the coffee house was busy, and always noticed when you bought a new tie. She loved you, flaws and all. She loved you.

“Shit.” You said out loud, frantically looking around for her.

Glancing at your phone, you noticed she hadn’t even read your message from this morning and it scared you to think that this could have been what pushed her away for good.

Hustling outside with your bags, you figured you’d catch an Uber and head for home. Maybe she was waiting for you there.

When you looked up from your phone, there she was, with her beautiful smile and holding a sign at her waist that read, “Mr. Russo.”

Dropping your bags at your feet, you rushed over to her and squeezed her until you heard her gasp for air.

“You’re here.” You said, trying to catch your breath.

She smiled against your chest.

“Of course I’m here, baby. How was your trip, handsome?” She asked, kissing you on the cheek.

“I don’t wanna talk about that right now. I need to tell you something.” You said.

Confused, she replied, “Oh…ok. What is it, Billy? Are you alright?”

“I won’t be if I lose you. I can’t lose you, y/n!” You said.

She saw the look in your eyes. It took you back to when you were that scared little boy, standing all alone on the steps of that fire station, wondering if she was ever coming back. And flashing forward a handful of years later in the group home, realizing that she wasn’t coming back. You never wanted to feel that way again and you finally found someone who always wanted you, good times and bad.

She grazed your beard with her thumbs as she looked into your frightened eyes and said, “Hey…hey…hey…you’re not gonna lose me, Billy. I love you.”

Reaching into your jacket pocket, you said, “I’ve been carrying this around for weeks, going over in my mind of what I wanted to say but all I could come up with is that I wanna marry you.”

Periodically, during your travels, you would reach into your pocket to make sure the black velvet box was still there. The soft fabric was comforting and after a long day of meetings or staring at a computer screen, you’d open the box, stare at the beautiful diamond ring inside and pictured her saying yes.

It scared you to even think about her saying no.

You were doing something you never thought you would do. You were making yourself vulnerable, opening up, letting someone in…in every way possible.

On one knee, not caring about if your suit pants would be ruined or not, you slowly pulled back the top to the box revealing the sparkling oval shaped diamond inside.

Although shocked, she still kept her composure and firmly said, “Then ask me, Billy.”

She smiled as tears welled up in her eyes, you knew her answer already but you did as she asked anyway. She deserved that.

“Will you marry me, sweet girl?” You asked, holding the ring in front of you and in front of a crowd of people that had gathered outside.

She kneeled down in front of you, snaked her arms around your neck, and replied, “Yes baby, I will marry you. It’s always a ‘yes’ with you, Billy.”

The people all around you clapped, whistled, and cheered as you slipped the ring onto her finger and pulled her flush to your chest. You had missed the gentle scratches on the back of your neck, her nails raking against your scalp, and when she hummed against your chest after being away from her, even if it was just for a short period of time.

Smiling against her hair, a familiar scent invaded your sense of smell. It wasn’t her normal perfume, it was your cologne which made your stomach flutter just like the first time you saw her as she came in from the rain.

“You wearing my cologne, beautiful?” You asked.

She pulled away from your chest with a sly smile on her face and replied, “It makes me feel close to you when you’re away. Is that…ok?”

She looked up at you through her long, dark lashes and bit down on her bottom lip.

Closing the gap between your bodies, you leaned in and gently pressed your lips to hers. Her lip balm tasted sweet like salted caramel, she knew that was your favorite one, and you felt her melt into your kiss.

“Always.” You said, pulling away slightly to place a soft kiss on her forehead. “I love you too.”

You don’t know how long you stayed there, on your knees in crisp early winter air. You held her in your embrace until you couldn’t feel your fingers or your toes anymore, you held her until she stopped shivering, and until everyone around you dispersed.

Old habits are hard to break. But from that moment on, you silently made a promise to her that you would try your hardest to never push her away, listen to her, and vehemently love her until you take your last breath.

Because she was the first, she was the first and only one to give you a real chance, and she was the only one to say yes…to always.

And when the night falls in around me

And I don't think I'll make it through

I'll use your light to guide the way

'Cause all I think about is you

Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @idaoftheburningmind @rafaelakelley @snowkestrel @music-indie-tv @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @fictional-hooman @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @vaguekayla @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @aoi-targaryen @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @rachlovesactors @qu1etwolf @sweetserendipity65

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @ittybxttykxttytxtty @jvanilly @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @mrsbillyrusso @colereads @jediwizardelf @thejanecampaign @folkloreofyennefer @milea @mysweetlittledesire

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again

[markantonys]

While I still don't think the show has done enough to show why the world despises and fears male channelers (since it really should've been embedded into the world building, so far we only know that the Aes Sedai hate and fear them) and it does kinda lessen the impact of the narrative that none of the EF5 had at least an initial gut reaction to Rand being able to channel. I do wonder how they're gonna handle that topic moving forward, cause it kinda has to be addressed now that Rand is actively channeling. I could see it being expanded more deeply as Rand's madness progresses/tie it into his arc.

the show has made it ABUNDANTLY clear that Male Channelers Are Considered Bad News By All. it IS embedded into the worldbuilding. was the king saying that logain's gone mad and trying to kill him not enough for you? was the people of tar valon jeering and throwing fruit at him not enough for you? was rand and mat saying "hey if i'm a male channeler please kill me" not enough for you? was rand's terror the second he realized selene saw him channel not enough for you? was selene's act of how a normal person would react to finding out her boyfriend can channel not enough for you? was his heartbroken yet unsurprised reaction to her rejection not enough for you? was the whole backstory of a male channeler causing the apocalypse not enough for you? do you think that show-onlys are completely incapable of putting all these pieces together along with aes sedai treatment of male channelers and coming to the conclusion that male channelers are probably not very popular with most people and it's going to be very tough for rand that he is one?

literally what else should they have done that would make sense within the very small world and very early story of the first 2 seasons/3 books that they didn't already do? shown emond's fielders sitting around the dinner table talking about how much they hate and fear male channelers when none of them has ever met one and thus it's not relevant to their lives? wasted time doing a whole sidequest for rand in s2 where his abilities are discovered by some Average Citizens and they react badly? shit all over show!mat's characterization and given him a negative reaction to rand in s2 that would not make sense for his current show headspace, just for the sake of furthering rand's randpain? i'm sick of the rand stans who act like rand is the only character who matters and mat's characterization should be sacrificed just so we can go "oh poor rand uwu even his own best friend is mean to him". portraying mat in 2x06 as the sort of person who bullies and kicks his best friend while he's down would've been beneficial because......? what is so wrong with the show making the ef5 feel like mutually loyal friends instead of "rand is the best and most loyal friend in the world but the rest are little shits who abandon him as soon as the going gets tough"? seeing as in the books, mat continues to be an extremely loyal friend to rand throughout the series but most readers are too stupid to see through his unreliable narration and realize he doesn't mean it when he says that rand channeling is like him eating babies, i'm not surprised the show decided to simplify things in order to convey the true heart of mat's character (loyal and caring friend to rand) in a more obvious manner.

and i guarantee you that no show-only is going "oh, it's only aes sedai who have a problem with male channelers, everyone else thinks they're cool". that's not happening. show-onlys are not stupid, and they understand that male channelers are considered bad news by all; or maybe they haven't thought much yet about how male channelers are viewed by the average public, but in future seasons once we see rand getting shit from the average public, they are not going to be surprised or confused or go "but i thought it was only aes sedai who had a problem with them and everyone else thinks they're cool?", they're going to go "oh, well we've seen how much aes sedai hate them, so it makes sense that everyone else does too". stop. think for 2 seconds about "have i actually seen a large number* of show-onlys misunderstanding X and/or do i think it's plausible that a large number of show-onlys would be likely to misunderstand X, or do show-onlys have enough context clues to figure out X for themselves or to be unsurprised when X is expanded on and made more explicit in future seasons and i'm working myself up into a state over a non-issue?"

*there are always going to be a handful of people incapable of critical thinking who willfully misunderstand what the show is showing us, just like there are readers like that with the books, hence unless a LARGE number of general-population show-onlys are misunderstanding X, as opposed to just 20 idiots on twitter, i do not consider it a failure by the show in portraying X.

[gladsforthelads]

Okay, so I am part of that special group who is curious about folks opinions on shipping the boys together. So we will do this both ways, and since it's pride month... I've also just come across your blog so this may be too forward, I absolutely understand if so, BUT:

Which of the lads could you see together, and which of your glads (clever name btw) could you see together?

If you are uncomfortable with this, that is also okay, you can ignore.

OMG HIIII! While I'm not necessarily the LADS shipper, I do appreciate their shipped dynamics. I don't have issues with those who do though and have no problem listing my favorites~

And I have NO problem shipping my GLADS together, because I lowkey already have~ lol

Thanks, I thought GLADS was rather clever myself~

BUT, to answer your question:

LADS:

APPLE STAR: Xavier & Caleb *I actually plan to make a HC eventually about their dynamics with one another, however, I thoroughly believe that Xavier & Caleb are besties, much against Caleb’s will. - Xavier just immediately clicked with him (having the same possessive level as Caleb with mc) he senses the otherness/difference in Caleb compared to the rest of the normies in the universe. - Caleb will also take care of Xavier, much against his will, and would clean the apartment, give him sponge bath, and actually squeeze veggies into his diet. - Xavier absolutely helps with maintenance on Caleb’s arm.

CROW FISH: Sylus & Rafayel - These men are both dramatic, have expensive taste, and do like a bit of gossip, and arguably have the most relatable experiences with one another than the other LADS. - Sylus is the only one that can tolerate Rafayel for long periods of time (to an extent), be amused by him, and call him out when necessary. However, when he is done entertaining the fishy, he will throw him out of the room. He does regularly commission art from him. - Rafayel was originally got outbid by Sylus at some of the black-market stuff, held a grudge, demanded a meeting, and fell in love immediately because of his pretty face. He does refer to Sylus as his sugardaddy.

Zayne gets his turtle. . . Or maybe Greyson? It's a little harder for me to pinpoint with Zayne. - If MC were male that’s one thing, but to date these absolute fools that are walking health hazards.

HOWEVER, I do enjoy a casual SNOW CROW after a comic I read on the tiktok where they were at glasses store in the mall looking at glasses at the same time. Zayne touched them first, but Sylus tried to say he did, Zayne refused to let go and bought them at the counter before Sylus could. Out of spite Sylus not only bought the glasses store but the entire mall, just to follow Zayne around and go "That's mine."

My add-on to this is: Zayne completely forgets about the experience until all of a sudden, these large amounts of anonymous donations from Sylus come in until Asko hospital is eventually bought by Sylus and he finally has to pay the man some attention because Sylus boops him on the nose and goes "Now you're mine~"

GLADS:

GRUMPY SUNSHINE: Elara & Cordelia

Elara comes across as very intimidating to everyone and only Cordelia sees her as just a normal person. They quite literally a healthy love that goes just a little beyond the platonic where people already question if they're just good friends or actually together.

THE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER: Selene & Lyla They’re actually a good balance for each other, they’re both givers in their relationships and know how to make the other one stop overworking themselves. Lyla mostly keeps Selene from going overboard on her shopping addiction for Lumiere merch, and Selene makes sure Lyla actually comes home and sleep.

FUMBLING ROMANCERS: Melora & Tara I think based off her work dynamic with Tara and how often she unintentionally gets left behind by the others and picked up by Tara that they’re a good match for each other. They seem to be on the same level of mental maturity and have gotten very close. I couldn’t ship this MC with my other MCs just because: - Elara is too old for her and is definitely more of a mentor - Cordelia is too hippy for her - Selene comes across as Blossom from PPG - Lyla is quite literally like a sister.